#also yes i am still in pain

[repmet]

Alex's cowboy hat appreciation

#red white and royal blue #alex claremont diaz #taylor zakhar perez #rwrb source #rwrbedit #rwrb movie #look i know henry is singing queen #but in my heart he's singing hey cowboy by devon cole #not me being like oh damn a sequel better post some gifs and write some fic #also yes i am still in pain #can someone remove my spine pls

[lyxchen]

They're siblings <33

(Please zoom in so you can see all the details)

#what's that you ask? #a little jatp fanart right before the 3 year anniversary? #yes indeed #i miss this show so much!!! #and i miss making fanart for it #i still do it but it's gotten a lot harder sadly :(( #anyways #maybe i'll have some more fanart tomorrow? #we'll see #(this has been in my wips for so long and i didn't shade it... but i think it looks good) #more art without lineart i am Still doing this to myself but also i love the pain #(i don't know what i'm saying it's too hot where i live for it to be september anyways please enjoy my art♡) #jatp #julie and the phantoms #julie molina #alex mercer #reggie peters #lyxchen's art

[ancientschampionau]

RealAgeAU Drabble - Gameplan

Hello! Another Drabble (second one i wrote) concerning the idea of Nightmare returning to his original form (Lovely Prompt idea by @spotaus )

First Drabble here Prev drabble here Next Drabble here

Warning, unedited and unbeta'ed. We die like my ability to spell anything.

----

Cross checks around the corner towards the street and waits for a moment longer before nodding "I think we are in the clear. We can talk here for a moment."

Killer just lounges back against a dumpster as he pants "Good! Cuz! I am not walking another step!"

Horror frowns as he searches his backpack. Slowly taking out some fruits "We need to stop this. We can't get the resources we need like this."

Cross groans as he rubs his face "I know I know. But we can't just settle anywhere! How do we explain..." He stops and slowly turns to look to the side at Dust.

Dust sits completely calm on the gorund, cross legged. Looking perfectly calm and content. With the still struggling Nightmare in his arms. Dust just sits there and looks at Nightmare with a raised brow and moves around a bit. Easily getting Nightmare to sit back in his lap with one of Dust's arm holding Nightmare around the middle wiht both arms trapped. And the second arm around his shoulders to pull him back easily. Nightmare looks grumpy beyond believe and Cross can't take it too seriously as Nightmare lost all his goop and corruption. All that remains is a perfectly normal and adorable tiny babybones.

Cross turns back to Horror and Killer and waits.

Horror looks at the scene before shrugging before turning back to prepare a snack for their now tiny charge. Looking calm as he moves.

Killer snorts "Why would we? Boss is tiny now. So what?" and he shrugs.

Cross groans as he rubs his face. He can admit that he will still need some time to get used to the change. But it is okay as he can accept it. After they found the old picture book and the just as old crown they had been putting together what actually happened. And well, even if they sometimes act dumb three out of four of them have university degrees of some type and Cross had always been one of the smartest soldiers.

That together with the known fact that Drema broke out of the stone young but grew up made the fact obvious.

It wasn't that they were in a situation of Nightmare having been deaged. They were in the situation that the Nightmare they had known had been an aged-up version of the real nightmare. Which is the very same grumpy babybones that Dust is holding right now.

Yeah. Cross just needs a bit more time.

Cross glares at Killer and focusses at the issue they need to actually fix "We know that!" he waves around them "But how do you think anyone is going to react to knowing we have Nightmare and that Nightmare is well... like this again?"

Killer hums and nods "I guess..." he turns towards Nightmare "How about a different name? What do you think Nighty? What can we call you?"

Nightmare glares with all his six year old force "Boss."

Killer snorts "got it tiny boss!" and he grins at Cross and shrugs "Guess that idea is a burst. anything else?".

Cross groans as he rubs his skull "don't you see the issue?! If anyone finds out about this they will try to take him from us and bring him to the Stars, if they don't just call the Stars!" Or worse. And they will think that killing Nightmare would be a reasonable solution to keeping him from aging up.

Killer actually glares as he radiates his blood- and LOVE-lust "Let them try."

Cross sighs as he rubs his face "what do you suggest we do?!"

Killer huffs "Obviously we do what we are doing now. We keep moving and universe hopping." and he nods.

Horror looks up with a frown "We can't do that. We will run out of resources. babybones need nutrients" as he says this he sits by Dust and Nightmare with the cut fruits. Nightmare focuses his full glare on Horror but Horror doesn't even blink. They have gotten used to this routine over the last few days and there is a good reason Dust and Horror do it.

Dust nods as he helps Horror by aiming the still struggling babybones "Not to forget his schooling. Now that he is young again he will need to relearn things. Can't do that while hopping from place to place."

Cross turns back to Killer and crosses his arms "See? horror and Dust agree."

Killer grumbles. "Fine! We find some stupid positive universe to hunker down in some abandoned building and do raids to get stuff. Easy!"

Cross crosses his arms "Still the problem of what we do if someone sees him. How do we explain that? people will think we stole him!"

Killer goes to speak. pauses and tilts his skull "I mean. Technically we did kind of steal him. Sure he was originally our boss, so ours. So we have the right to steal him again but still. Very much stolen."

Cross sputters "I! I wasn't serious!" well he was but not about the stolen comment!

Horror speaks up even as he feeds Nightmare, which Ngihtmare tries to fight but Dust is there to assist him. "Technically it wasn't stealing."

Cross sighs "Thank you Horror-"

"We kidnaped him." Horror finishes his statement as he manages to get Nightmare to eat a bit. Nightmare actually pauses and the stubbornness makes way for the much younger mind that enjoys the food and a tiny soft purr starts to leave the babybones. He doesn't struggle as much anymore as the second bite is brought over.

Cross stops and lets his skull fall into his hands "we are so fucked."

All three speak up "Language."

Cross groans louder. They are so fucked.

---------

Prev part.

Next part.

#RealAgeAU #utmv #fanfic #drabble #deaged nightmare #bad sanses #That moment when your old boss gets transformed into a child so you forcefully adopt him instead #found family twice over lets go #What are the four to each other here? #maybe poly? maybe friends? #Somewhere in between? #Hell they don't even know. They just know they are struggling #Nightmare still has his memories. #But also his mind and body both returned to his real age which is six #without the extra powerups and with all the real fear and pain from his past abuse #He is not going to be an easy babybones #Do I need to tag all of them? Probably right? #I will just not do it for now. I am sure it is fine. #Yes also Nightmare is goopless and just Baby. Which is why he has been promoted (demoted) to babybones #Nightmare has a lot of large feelings now and can't process them all so he is also struggling #Not as much as his gang members though but still struggling

[theladyyavilee]

do you ever think about how buck was able to pull and lift eddie to safety, while eddie wasn’t able to either pull or lift buck? like I know the physics were different and eddie would be able to pull and lift buck under the same circumstances that buck did it, it was just impossible to lift him up onto the ladder in contrast to doing the standing lift buck did to get him into the firetruck but still WHAT A FUCKED UP PARALLEL to incorporate both pulling and lifting again *screams into hands* (also to have both of those instances in the shooting be the only times eddie is making noises of pain, which while horrifying to hear were also indicators that eddie is still very much alive to feel it, while buck was just quiet and dead, but that’s another kind of fucked up)

#9-1-1 #buddie #nobody does parallels like 911 #yes I am still stuck on the lightning strike #and the visuals and the parallels #and eddie's desperation as he tried to pull buck up #he must have known from years and years of experience (and an innocent but intimate familiarity with buck's body) that he wouldn't #be able to pull him up like that #and yet #our base instinct is still to pull our loved ones in close because proximity does help with protecting someone #offers your own body as a last resort to shield them so OF COURSE it's instinct to pull buck close #but eddie can't #he can't even do that when buck did it for him #(also eddie screaming in pain when buck pulled him and lifted him is one of the reasons why I have trouble believing that eddie doesn't #remember it because I would imagine that that pain cut through the hazziness and confusion and burned the impressions into his memory right #next to buck's blood spattered face but aslkdfjasjkl obvs there's no proof for that) #either way I am convinced eddie knows that buck pulled him to safety and he couldn't #anyways #hello yes #I am having a parallel breakdown on this fine sunday morning

[tswwwit]

I know Bill's the big bad demon everyone is afraid of and he will protect his husband at all costs (when no one's looking), but I think it's also worth mentioning that Dipper, even being the dorky, squishy human that he is, also cares about his dumb demon hubby and wants to keep him safe, even if it annoys Bill, and really, he doesn't need protecting the way Dipper does. He isn't going to puff out his chest and get in someone's face like some macho man, but I think Dipper knee-jerk reaction when Bill's in "danger" isn't to just shrug because he's an all-powerful demon who can handle it. If a blast that could level a whole town was aimed at Bill's head (for him, this just means a bad hair day and a new body), Dipper's immediate impulse is to push him out of the way or defend him against whatever wants to kill his familiar. Because he's not thinking "Bill could literally end this match in .3 seconds." He's thinking "if you touch even one hair on that asshole's head, I'm going to knock yours clean off your shoulders." I don't know what the point even is in this post, just that Dipper is this nerdy, unassuming guy who ends up being viciously protective under the right conditions. Like I think Dipper pulls off the bloody and vengeful look SO well that Bill immediately melts and just lets him handle the situation, even though it's not really Dipper's fight to begin with. He's beating the guy to a pulp with zero reserve, and Bill's off to the side swooning and twirling his hair over his man for getting his hands dirty for him.

It's true! While Bill's not the type to enjoy being underestimated, he has to admit! Seeing his adorable husband all riled up on his behalf is a hell of a sight.

The thing is, Dipper's a good guy! He can't help but put himself in danger over others. Even when all reason and logic say that Bill would be absolutely fine if he got his head exploded or a shiv in his kidney, Dipper's instinct is to fully and immediately get in the way of that. To, in fact, be protective.

Mostly this is only evident when Dipper has to stand up to Ford. Yes, yes, Bill's a vile horrible monstrosity, but he didn't do that particular thing you're accusing him of. Watching him stand up to his uncle is a particular treat!

For bigger threats, though - Well. Bill's gonna be absolutely fine, no matter what happens, thank you very much. But he's definitely not opposed to seeing some guy who was about to literally stab him in the back get a few of his teeth knocked out.

#answers #Dipper doesn't like seeing his husband get hurt. Yes Bill likes pain and all but only contextually. And he's immortal. #But Dipper can't help but cringe and wince on his behalf anyway. He talks a lot of shit but he really does love his bastard husband #When it comes to most of the the Ford situations #Bill gets to have fun with those #Dipper's ready to argue on Bill's behalf. Most times. Yes a little head-explodey doesn't keep Bill down but Dipper is NOT a fan #Catch Bill standing just behind Dipper - or even leaping up into his arms and nearly making him topple over - #Only to look very self-satisfied. Going :3 'yes I am babey' #Looking like the perfect innocent cherub he absolutely isn't gets on Ford's nerves in a HUGE way #Both super obnoxious AND it makes his mortal roll his eyes at him. SO fun! #For other times he gets defended it's Bill's turn to roll his eyes #But goddamn if it isn't cute as hell. PLUS it's one of the rare times he actually sees Dipper really riled up #Not in like a flustered argumentative type of way. In an actual Fuck You You're Going Down kinda way #Real stupid that Dipper keeps doing this. But real hard to oppose it when Bill gets such a view outta it! #Also concept: Dipper trying to shield Bill while he's in his real form and feeling a moment of 'oh no' when he fails #Only for like. The knife to go 'tink' off his surface. Bill looks unimpressed #Another reminder for Dipper that yeah okay Bill can handle himself. He feels pretty dumb about it #That's okay DIpper you mean well! Bill will still smooch you for trying #APPROVED.jpeg implied but not included due to me adding too much text

[lepusrufus]

Have some sketches while I make peace with knowing I'm a masochist and my brain has the audacity to come up with animatic ideas

#is it a good idea? #yes #am I still mad at my lack of self control #also yes #my art #baldur's gate 3 #what even are the selunite robes they're such a pain in the ass save me

[aro-culture-is]

quick note - this blog is gonna be sparse again for at least this week. trying new medications and tbh initial side effects are not super pleasant + actual effects build up. as a result: currently as if unmedicated for mental health, with anxiety+ side effect, extra fatigue, dizziness, and fatigue. it's uh, sure something.

totally recognize that most of y'all know we're absent at times due to health things, just wanted to give a heads up that this one is at least anticipated.

#fun fact sometimes condensing meds just means poorer treatment of some conditions #this is a re-expansion + new thing #so that instead of poorly treating my mental health and using an unusually high dose SNRI for another (physical) condition #i will hopefully both be in less pain AND not depressed af AND also have an appetite again #i doubt i will be lucky and not have a fucked stomach due to meds but one can hope that an appetite will allow me to eat foods that upset #my stomach a lot less #my health is forever a massive balancing act #every time a medical thing is like 'so what meds do u take' i'm like here i wrote it down for u #and they're like 'oh. ooookay. let me just...' *five minutes of typing and clicking later* #'so! what did you come in for again? uhuh. you said you experience pain daily? with your chronic pain thing? hm. have you tried yoga?' #/gen #like. straight up every time i say 'i am in pain all the time due to fibromyalgia' they are like 'ooh studies say regular exercise helps' #and like. theoretically yes! but also. i would be lying if i said the fibromyalgia studies i've skimmed don't set off general 'bad science' #alarm bells in my brain #like... cool you performed a fibromyalgia study with... all male lab rats? mhmm? so are you aware fibromyalgia appears to occur #overwhelmingly in women? like. data seems to suggest between 70-85%? #(not that the data can't still indicate things but it certainly makes male rats a poor choice of model for tests on it) #also just... idk i've looked at some metaanalysis and been like 'okay cool theory and for all i know about human bio or bio in general that #sounds more or less correct BUT. you never discussed that one study on this subject that did NOT support your conclusion. #and that's 1) interesting when it was the most diverse group of subjects and the exceptions often teach just as much as the 'rule' #2) just shitty science. tell me how your theory is still credible when some evidence doesn't fit the model. #like... 'given that all other studies were primarily conducted on white american women in their 30s to 40s it is possible that this model #only explains (the early effects of fibro since that's a typical onset period) / (a possible genetic link primarily found in white women) / #(a possible sign of bias in diagnosis that demonstrates the possibility that there are different causes) / combinations of all of those #like... idk a paper that just throws out things that don't support it is a pretty big red flag #it doesn't mean the conclusion is entirely incorrect but it is often important to understand the context in which it applies #like... it's very easy to jump to an incorrect conclusion if you used something in the wrong context #ie: thumbs up is a good job / positive thing in a lot of western civilizations. teenage kee once went to china and discovered it to be #neutral to offensive in many areas outside of major tourist locations that were used to it #anyways i gotta sleep

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

ARCTIC MONKEYS 25/06/23

okay now that i've had some time to (slightly) emotionally and physically recover from yesterday, i need to flail about the highlights:

1) meeting one of my absolute favourite humans who i would never have got to know if it hadn't been for this little corner of tumblr - and then getting to share the excitement/nerves/elation/exhaustion rollercoaster of seeing am with them was just - there aren't even words for it. so special 💖

2) learning how to navigate rain ponchos

3) impulse buying too much merch (but also not regretting it. the glasgow tour poster is going to be the first thing going on my wall in my new flat)

4) the mirrorball starting to twirl just before they all came onstage and sending the colours of the afternoon sun everywhere

5) the sheer rush of the moment they all walked onstage together (also that was pretty much the only time i got to glimpse nick and matt at all 💔 from where i was standing i could mostly only see alex and jamie)

6) seeing alex a few metres away in real life after months of looking at his beautiful, dorky little expressions in photos/videos was surreal in the best possible way- there's just something so different about the way you get a sense of someone's energy when you're in the same space with them?? and as someone who's endlessly interested in people, i'm fascinated by how alex simultaneously gives off really reserved, self-contained vibes at the same time as being such a dynamic and captivating performer - like he’s so good at tapping into emotions without letting them be a door into how he’s actually feeling (if that makes any sense, my post-gig brain is not very articulate) i guess that all very much makes sense with all the stuff he's said about personas/performing, but it was still so interesting to get to really feel that sense of his presence in live time. he's definitely very much in control but in a very understated kind of way

7) a bunch of birds circling overhead on one side of the crowd, alex seeing them and dramatically declaring 'release the rest of the birds' 

8) me and the lovely human i went with turning to each other with expressions of sheer joy when the opening bars of crying lightning were played (and don't sit down. and four stars. and arabella. and - you get the picture. getting to share the sheer delight of your favourite songs being played is just the loveliest feeling 💗)

9) alex doing a quirky little 'ha ha' laugh in the middle of body paint 

10) mirrorball coinciding with the most beautiful pink dusk and half moon just above the stage, and getting to witness alex’s piano playing at the start of it

11) body paint. just. body paint. i think my soul left my body.

12) how much energy and enthusiasm alex seemed to have throughout the set - especially after the last week or so it was just the loveliest thing to see him messing about and having fun. and his voice sounded SO good. how anyone manages to sing like that (let alone sound like that less than a week after cancelling shows due to laryngitis) is an absolute mystery to me

13) alex's theatrical hand gestures for crying lightning (the one for gobstopper was a particular favourite)

14) hearing 505 when dusk has just fallen and you can see the smudged moon behind the deep indigo clouds is the only way anyone should ever hear 505 

15) alex and matt having a giggle about something mid set

16) obviously i was aware of how stupidly talented they all are - but there's something about seeing it unfold in front of you in real time that makes it really hit you. the sound wasn't great where i was for some of the time so i don't feel like i got the best audio sense of everything, but i was just so struck in particular by matt on the drums and also alex with his guitar playing. i feel like when i'm just listening to their records i'm so busy listening to alex's voice that i forget how incredible a guitar player he is and - wow. just. yeah. it honestly took my breath away.

17) getting the distinct impression that it provides alex with a sense of amusement to deliberately do that thing where he sings the lyrics at slightly different speeds to trip the crowd up

18) even though i ended up being in significant pain for the second half of the set and had to go find somewhere a little further back where i could lean against the railings (chronic pain conditions and standing for 6+ hours apparently isn't the best mix), nothing could dull how magical it was hearing all the tracks from the car that they played closer to the end. standing there in the dusk and feeling so much about everything is something i'll never forget. it truly brought home to me so poignantly everything about why am's music means so much to me and how much love i have for them 💜

19) being in the exact line of direction alex blew kisses to at the end

20) the hazy post-gig walking in the dark under lit up green trees with the lovely human i went with and our conversations about am and creativity and the courage of sharing music 💖

#i'm honestly still processing the fact that it really happened #it was amazing #though i'm trying not to be frustrated with myself for my chronic pain kicking in when they were on #i had a couple of songs where i was like 'why can't i just enjoy this like a normal person' #but then the music took over and brought me back to myself #so yes #i wish i'd been feeling amazing for all of it #but it was still amazing even if i wasn't feeling amazing for every second of it #and i'm so so happy i went and got to share it with such an amazing human #💜 #i’ve been swinging between riding a high and post gig blues all day so forgive me if any of this is incoherent #also #i know these photos are blurry as hell but i’d still appreciate it if people don’t repost them without my permission #arctic monkeys #alex turner #matt helders #jamie cook #nick o'malley #am glasgow 2023 #lulu posts

[mathlann]

Warhammer/Marazhai brainrot has me so fucking stupid.

#me ranting all day: #but the consent is what makes the murder-fucking hot! At! Every! Step! #(remembers murdered crew) well okay consent between /him and the RT/ is important #Scary Elf Pain Frenzy or no the fact that you can say “nah” even mid-murder high is nice! #and it doesnt even necessarily feel OOC for that happen cuz of why he's even doing this #the fact that he waits until the RT /reaches for him/ in the first Feast even after the yes #he wants them to say yes and want more until they either meet his level or give up and feel bad about themselves cuz like Drukhari and all #and like iirc the only time he gets upset @ the RT saying “no” is after the branding but thats more like #a personal “why are you divorcing me” upset and he still doesnt like touch them or hurt them or anything #like idk are you getting what im putting down? #i like that the messed up Murder Elf likes and /wants/ the RTs sign off on every step of the romance and its nice #but also this is a Drukhari and all of this is done on a pile of bodies so what the fuck am i talking about yk? #insanity! why am i blabbing about this #marazhai aezyrraesh #<-for finding later

[wasp-jar]

Most anticipated affect of T is no more period or cramps (please please please please please please please please please please please please)

#this isn't actually the most but still stands true #having cramps so bad that i am pretty much immobilized is sooo much fun #pain meds don't work either #so i just get to suffer #i can barely move and i also cant sleep from how bad it is #no position will relieve anything #and i am in tears #doctors would not listen to me for other meds so we'll just hope hrt comes in clutch w this #yes i know it doesn't always stop it #but that wont stop me from hoping it will #menstruation #transmasc #trans #hrt

[tls123]

Oh my god HOW DID YOU LIKE SVSSS!!!!!

i liked it more than i thought i would but overall less than i might have given the potential of the story, i think in general i really enjoyed the characters (mxtx never goes wrong with characters, she creates them in a way that makes me feel unhinged) and the world building but the pay off to the set up—which i really liked!—felt a bit........ i mean, just alright.

the dynamics too are pure mxtx, personally the bin/gqiu dynamic specifically really was the least interesting part of the whole story. to me!! but individually i loved both characters. my interest was just elsewhere because """elsewhere""" felt way more fascinating idk how to explain it

was very, very happy about the extra with airplane and the yue qingyuan / shen jiu one because that's exactly what i wanted more of in the story itself as well as just more shen yuan/qingqiu interacting with cang qiong mountain

maybe it's my orv brain but like i told jana a while back i think i would have enjoyed svsss way more if it was more about shen yuan (loner; hater; etc) suddenly finding himself among all of these people (disciples looking up to him; sect siblings relying on him one way or another; common folk admiring him; etc etc) and starting to.... live? again?

Shen Qingqiu hadn't noticed that, unconsciously, he no longer considered the disciples around him (...) to be mob characters the novel had described in a scant number of words.

^from volume one, he starts seeing them almost immediately because he's not actually that separate and he genuinely cares. all the time. about everything. even before that we get:

This was only a book, and all the people were constructs, imaginary characters. Logically, Shen Qingqiu was very clear on this fact...but when a character was actually being taunted and bullied right before his eyes, it was just flat-out unrealistic to expect him to be completely unmoved.

like why are you lying, shen yuan (<- svsss tagline if there ever was one)

just the idea of this really lonely detached guy finding a community, i know it's not the story mxtx was trying to tell but again, with the set up i really wanted to see it go in that direction.

there's one line from vol two where liu qingge goes "you fear becoming a burden to cang qiong mountain (...) but cang qiong mountain fears not your burden"

and basically what i'm saying is that i wish the story had been about THAT

(and also ning yingying's lines in that same chapter about shizun always taking on everything himself and why is it always you like that whole moment with the cang qiong mountain almost begging him to see that they care. idek what i'm saying but you know)

(also foaming at the mouth that we only got tiny tiny glimpses of shen yuan's life from before, those handful of times he mentioned his siblings i wanted to take a bite out of my kindle. tell me more!! dear fucking lord tell me more!! keep talking! elaborate!! he really felt very "kim dokja and his fourth wall" at times, sorry once more about the orv brain)

tldr: i guess i wanted a story about shen yuan/qingqiu but mxtx created svsss to be a story about bin/gqiu. and i just have to be okay with that.

#does this make any sense? no. am i still hitting ''post''? yes. sorry kay #fra.txt #fra.xml #pathos-logical #overall i quite enjoyed obsessive lu.o bin.ghe. so intense and possessive about the one person who showed him a little kindness #(so what if he also showed him a lot of pain too here and there?) #but like i said the bin.gqiu dynamic just didn't pull me in. of course to each their own #(''one person'' but poor yingying was trying to help him since day one.) #but also..... to me it felt like his arc was the least satisfying. he just.... is. whereas most everyone else seems to evolve more tangibly #right now i can't help but think of tianlang-jun. ''i can't bring myself to hate humans'' #not to mention all the women from his harem becoming characters in their own right #i wish i could explain myself better but i don't have the words. sorry! #l.uo bin.ghe you ARE interesting i just feel like your story could have been more #as an apology here's my favorite line of yours: ''I don't want you to repay me. I just couldn't get over my anger'' #see?? i pay attention to you too baby boy #i should re-read all of ^^^ that but i won't </3 #edit: one thing i forgot to mention is that i did like the small snippet we got of bin/g-ge reacting to shen yu.an/qin.gqiu #like now that's something that immediately caught my eye it already made for such a more fascinating dynamic. #also i've seen a few things about shen yua.n (not trasmigrated) getting to meet bin.ghe/bin.g-ge and again that i would take a peak at #fully black lotus bin/g-ge coming face to face with shen ''i'm a hater but also can't help but be kind all the time'' yu.an truly pickles #my tickle. i'm sat. i'm listening. i'm compelled.

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

um hello again hk community <3

I AM NOT BEATING THE KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR ALLEGATIONS .....

thank you to the number one superfan bestie @lovinglin for enabling me so bad she made hollow x ivie content faster than I did <3 please follow her <3

#WHERE DO I START WITH THIE #WHERE DO I START WITH THIS #the unpredictable events that unfolded after i uploaded that jil fights thk battle 💔💔💔💔💔 #AKSJHDJSJSS MAN WHERE DO I START #HOLLOW IS SUCH . A WILD CARD #i didnt expect myself to like them i swear..... #bjt... it just happened. #coupled that with the ABSOLUTELY TRAGIC LORE THEY HAVE????? I CSN FIX THEM GUYS I CAN FI #BFBDBDHGDGDGDHDRD I AM SO INSANE ABT THEM <3 #i initially didn't want to pair ivie with hollow but after i confessed this to lara. IMMEDIATELY DREW THESE TWO WITHOUT A CARE AND I EXPLODE #SHIT HAPPENED SO QUICK AND NOW IM SO UEUEUUEUE OVER THEM #these drawings are like half of a week old #WELL WHATEVER 💔💔💔 #shrhfmfkssj eermrmtb yes anyways I Like them So much #i wouldn't be surprised if like half of my mutuals guessed this because HALF OF THEM PROBABLY FOLLOWED MY MAIN BLOG AND GO INSANE #NOT MAD DW I JUST FIND IT HILARIOUS #anyways ujuhm im rolling on tje floor and crying they dont deserve pain and sadness only happy ness and uh Flower a Nice Flower #also hollow is canonically genderless so i just simply go they them but i also dont mind he him either ahehe #STILL. THRY ARE SO GORGEOUS<3 #~ art #idk if i should tag this or not LMAO

[icewindandboringhorror]

........creachure

#cats #his eyes are always so big and weird he no longer looks like a cat anymore sometimes.. in a way... #it's hard to understand.. complicated vibes on this boy #his summer sprawl (laying flopped out on the floor weird because of the heat) #I AM still trying to get some costumes done and also post another poll advtnure so I can finally finish it lol #the weather this month has just been soooo.... There was the heat wave and then after like 2 days of coolenss where I was like 'ah! finally #I can be productiv!' but just as soon as I had recovered from the heat.. it got hot again ghhhh #currently sweating inside. I actually had to leave my doctors appointment early today because I was just so so warm from #sitting in the car and the fac tthat half the buildings still do not have their air up very high and etc. and I felt so nausous #and flushed and started to get back and stomach pains for some reason.. Which I guess is good in a way to further confirm to doctors that #I Have Something Wrong With Me lol (most normal people should not be this heat sensitive I think) but is also still a little stinky #because I still payed a copay for the fulla appointment time but cit it short by leaving 15minues early.. grrr #ANYWAY. It seems like recently it's just hot all the time but it will ocasionally tempt you with a cool day of reprieve BUT don't let your #guard down! because as soon as you start to think 'hey things are getting better! :0' the sun will be like NO actualy. scalding temperature #be upon ye.. #Which of COURSE. I would rather have hot weather with little breaks in between than just constant hot weather. 100% definitely. #but it just always makes me sad because I get my hopes up lol.. JUST as I've recovered from the past heat and am So Ready To Start #On All My Things now That I'm Not As Sick And Hey Maybe It's Even Cool Enough To Do A Costume! .. my hopes are dashed #.. woe and so on and so forth. . Which I am stil managing to get a few things done but just.. not the things I really WANT to do (costumes. #sculptures. edit videos. etc. ). #anyway.. look at son.. If nothing else I still have lots of cat photos.. my sole productivity offerings to the internet online world

[iero]

Had a panic attack that literally woke me up in the middle of the night last night and lasted until the early morning and let me tell you, that shit is TERRIFYING. Needless to say, I think I'm ready to go back to work.

#personal #Am I still in pain? Yes. Is it controllable when painkillers are taken though? Also yes. Somewhat. #Breaking news! #Girlie who doesn't have their mental health under control feels 100x worse being holed up in the place they live alone under for FOUR days #I literally have not left my house since my surgery on Wednesday morning... #And then I'm wondering why my anxiety/panic attacks have been God awful these four days... Gee I wonder why! #Like I don't wanna go back to work because capitalism but I need to for like... A distraction. #My thoughts have been racing and I'm just begging for people to talk to me in my personal life to calm my anxiety down. #It feels debilitating at this point. It's literally taken over my life. #And I have my anxiety meds but I only just got them so I have to wait that 1-3 weeks for them to actually 'kick in.' #I really should have asked my new GP for the tiniest amount of benzos to get me through this recovery. #And I don't even have a follow-up appt. for my recovery but I am gonna call them on Mon. and ask for one for my own peace of mind. #I've called this office three times now over the course of three days to make sure what I'm feeling is 'normal.' #Anyway!!!

[elegyofthemoon]

well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost

#avil plays hi3 #tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This. #yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17 #i. :( #the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :( #ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart #BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI #BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA #AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER #MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE #tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3. #kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but #now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because #'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS' #also idk i was thinking about it too #mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time #and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option #IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING) #sprawls on the ground #at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that #and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag #can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else) #idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people.... #but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other #okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL #MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭 #anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it #but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying

[coulson-is-an-avenger]

rwby volume 5 is so fucking good EXCEPT for the entire final battle and that i think sucks so much ass

#v5 has so many growing pains 😭 the kingdom feels super empty and culture/vibeless #the crying animation still isnt good lmao #and they have a really bad habit of not balancing events happening st the same tkme #so the huge massive fight scene feels like ten individual fights all poorly spliced together and it's so unfortunate #like. ravens here hot and terrible as fuck. ilia's VA is working overtime. we get all the reunions. VERNAL????? #and then it all kinda falls flat on its face its really unfortunate 😭 #also god cinder is so. ngnfjgjfjjgkfjkfjsjhsjjfkdngkdk women i am allo about #anyways. many thoughts head full #mossy speaks #moss watches #rwby #yes im watching rwby again. just in case everything gets taken down. sighs heavily #ALSO ADAM IS AT HIS MOST POWERFUL AND HORRIFYING AND ITS REALLY COOL AS A NARRATIVE HES SO EVIL #AND THE MOMENT HE GETS CAUGHT FROM THE SHADOWS IS JUST. GAHHHHH #its a GOOD VOLUME. EXCEPT.