#also when jo was taking all the wrong advice to heart and felt like she had to double down

[cartoonemotion]

kid cosmic spoilers again cuz im thonkin

i was at first a LEETLE disappointed that the solution to the end of this ep was to punch erodius all apart but actually it makes sense and it kind of reminded me of one of the reasons i could actually feel pretty good about watching wander over yonder and not feel like the message of like. peaceful resolution didnt feel too much like a condescending “you should never fight fire with fire !!! uwu” type thing and instead much more genuine and optimistic

bc i mean the situations were fundamentally different.. the aliens trying to reclaim their stones was actually a misunderstanding and it fit into kid’s arc of coming into his own as a hero, understanding that a lot of the messages he had internalized in an effort to live up to his dream of becoming one were not only detrimental to him but others around him: heroes help, not hurt, so a peaceful resolution where kid and the local heroes work together to help the aliens and prevent the biker in black from ejecting them from the planet pretty much by force conveys the themes of the season and the messages kid learned in his arc well & wraps everything up on that front pretty coherently

but now jo is the focus of season 2, and shes a teenager, so shes older than kid and she has different lessons for life and different conflicts with those around her that she has to work out, and so the threat she’s tasked with handling is a lot different. its not necessarily i dont think the show retracting any of its earlier messages about peaceful resolution or trying to understand one another, bc it still has those beats: mo’s recipe is a big one, you have papa g still being his usual pacifist self and having moments where he advocates for talking things out, you have jo doing what she can to uplift and respect krosh after she beats her, even going so far as to basically invite her to be a member of the community she and the rest of the local heroes are apart of it seems pretty much ? the difference is that unlike the previous season, there’s no real mix up or dispute as to who’s the real bad guy here; erodius is destroying planets, killing people and displacing whole societies, and it seems almost like a force of nature more than a living being (its obviously supposed to take some inspiration from galactus from the marvel comics or unicron from transformers). it cant be reasoned with. its something cosmically big and indifferent to the suffering it inflicts on the little people, who as directly stated in this season, are the ones who matter most

so destroying it makes sense ! the more i think about it the more i kind of like how erodius ties into jo’s arc of becoming more sure of herself as not only a leader but just. a person, as every teenager has to struggle to learn how to be. you can be kind and compassionate and want to extend a helping hand, but you should always be willing to stand up for yourself and others around you who cant, even if it seems impossible. and that in itself can still be a victory, even if there are consequences 

idk. this turned rambly but i just really liked the second season, even if i still prefer the first one more/feel its a tighter story overall, i wanna give s2 credit where its due bc i think it was a great installment and it still had a lot of care and craft put into it :]

#kid cosmic #kid cosmic spoilers #also when jo was taking all the wrong advice to heart and felt like she had to double down #bc it seemed like nobody believed in her when it was rlly she just didnt like. believe in herself. as she was #OOF hard relate. hashtag teenage problems cranked up to 11 i remember being in that like #perpetual circle of being like well it seems i will just have to change everything abt myself to not be a loser. and it going bad #anyways watch kid cosmic

[amelialincoln]

The Way Life Goes

This is my post finale fic. Will def be 2+ parts. Hope u enjoy

TW: substance abuse

The look he wore on his face was a mixture of confusion and betrayal and it made her want to run away and hide. She found herself wondering how he could feel betrayed. She had told him exactly what she wanted and it was exactly the opposite of what was happening at this very moment. If anything, she should be the one looking at him like that. She couldn’t bring herself to glance in the direction of her nieces and nephew. She found herself wondering how many people were in on this, how many people she was going to disappoint yet again. Link had always told Ellis she’d be their flower girl and Amelia couldn’t imagine how excited she was when Link had told her that they were going to get married. She blinked hard, wondering for a moment if she was going to throw up.

When she opened her eyes again he was standing on both feet, collecting the tiny boxes, that she refused to look at, from the kid’s hands. Were they supposed to go dance now like everything was okay? This was supposed to be Maggie’s day, why would he make it about them? She felt that familiar impending feeling, in the pit of her stomach, that she had just fucked everything up. Still, she was stuck frozen in place. She wanted to say something to him to fix this. She wished she could just say yes. For the sake of him, Scout, and for everyone who works at the damn hospital and is tired of putting up with her shit.

The kids ran off and it was the two of them. He was kicking sand with his feet, dirting up the shoes he’d spent so much time polishing the night before.

“So what now then?” He questioned bitterly.

“I don’t know,” she choked out, the only thing she could think of to say. He shook his head and let out a sour chuckle. He muttered something that she felt grateful not to hear before pushing past her and storming back to the after party. She found herself guiltily wondering if he was going to find Jo, who always seemed ready to give him shitty advice whenever they were having a fight. Maybe they’d decide that they had actually loved each other the whole time. That idea felt like a knife to the heart but she also felt a sense of relief, knowing that at least he’d have found someone who deserves him. Someone who can be all the things that she can’t. Someone who can make him happy.

The tide was coming in and water was lapping gently against her ankles. It was cold but she couldn’t really feel it. The music had died down and she could see people vacating the reception. The after party would be held at Meredith’s. She was supposed to be helping host it. She sat down, her dress clinging to her small frame as the bottom half became submerged in the clear water. She’d wait until everyone was gone. Until every person that would offer her sympathy or judgment had driven away. Not until, most likely, the sun had dipped into the glittering water that shone in the horizon and until the beach was surrounded in darkness.

He had taken the car, she’d realized, as she stood shivering and soggy in the empty parking lot. Why the hell would he take the car? The answer was simple, he’d assumed that she would’ve caught a ride with Meredith, to get to the house early. That was the plan even before he’d pulled out that ring box. But the whole situation made her even more pissed. Her phone was at 8% and she opened the maps app quickly, eyeing if anything was around. It was the park, less than a kilometer away, that caught her eye. She knew exactly what happened in that park. She recognized the name since it had been brought up in almost half of the addicts at her meeting’s backstories. That park had exactly what her entire body was craving and suddenly it overcame all of her thoughts.

The thing was that she had already fucked everything up. She couldn’t go to Mer’s. She couldn’t go to Link’s apartment. She had nowhere to go. No one to talk to who wouldn’t express some form of judgment. Unlike every person she was now close with, the people at the park wouldn’t care. If anything, those people understood her more than anyone else. The comfort of being surrounded by people who also needed to escape from their unbearable and insufferable lives was intoxicating.

The first bonfire was filled with teenagers. She grimaced slightly before realizing she was in no place to judge. Since when had she become so judgmental? It was her coworkers, her brain was screaming at her. She was becoming one of those egotistical people she used to hate, who had the idea that they were better than everyone else. The type of people who had convinced her that something was wrong with her. The type of people who couldn’t mind their own business for once in their life. She pulled her hoodie tighter around her wet dress as she approached the next blaze.

“Hey,” a woman greeted her gruffly, probably only a couple of years older than her. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here?” The woman was giving her a look of resentment that only Amelia could really understand. She wanted to laugh but instead gave her an uninterested shrug.

“What do you have?” She asked, pulling out her wallet.

“Come take a seat and I’ll show you.” She reminded Amelia of one of her dealers in California except without the little toddler who would always be following his drugged up mother around. There was a strange comfort that this woman provided though, Amelia realized as she settled onto the log between her and a man she’d probably sleep with, by the look of him, if she wasn’t in a relationship. Was she still in a relationship? She passed the woman whatever bills she kept in her wallet and turned to the man beside her.

“What do you recommend?” He looked as if he was having the best trip of his life. He eyed her softly, his vision slightly glazed over before nodding to the syringe the woman was offering.

“Well, what do you like?” He asked simply, scratching his prickly beard with his index finger and eyeing her wet dress with confusion.

“Oxy,” she replied, her eyes glancing over to the little bags and boxes in the women's impressive stash. Watching as he smirked slightly and opened his palms up to the warmth of the fire with a shake of his head.

“You’ll like this then. Camilla's got you.” he confirmed. “If you can handle it.” There was a small kind and teasing tone to his voice and it relaxed her slightly.

“Alright,” she shrugged calmly as she stretched her arm out in the direction of the women and waited for the world to fade away.

Find part 2 here

#amelink #amelia shepherd #amelink fanfiction #ameliashepherd #amelinkfanfiction #maggie pierce #greysanatomy #greys anatomy #greys abc

[firefly-in-darkness]

Colours of Love

Characters → Y/N & Dean Winchester, Other Supernatural characters

Summary → Until you meet your soulmate, everything will be black and white. But what happens when you see the colours of the rainbow but no soulmate in sight?

Word Count → 1.8k

Prompt  →  Soulmate AU + Stolen by Dashboard Confessional.

Warnings → Fluff.

Beta → the superstar that is @princessmisery666 // all mistakes are my own.

Dividers → @firefly-graphics.

A/N → This is for @justagirlinafandomworld Pick Two challenge - I’m so sorry it’s late, hope you enjoy it!

Fear wrapped itself around your chest as you tried to recall the previous night while also having to deal with the adjustment of seeing all these vibrant colours. 

The previously faded grey armchair was now an emerald masterpiece and you couldn’t help your fingers trailing across the velvety material, enjoying the switch between the shades. 

The gold embroidered cushions enveloped you in a squishing hug as you curled around and let your legs dangle over the armrest.

Jessica was sitting opposite, sharing the couch with Sam, her head resting in his lap whilst he snored softly, “Are you sure you don’t remember anything else?”

“I drank a lot last night.” You groaned, your eyes stung with the strain of looking at her newly colourful features and the floral curtains behind her. 

You looked away and around the pokey apartment; the photographs of your friends were now more alive than before and the bookcase full of varying shades and tones framing the many books and ornaments. 

Your head pounded against your skull and your mouth felt like there was a cotton ball stuffed in it. The graduating class had celebrated late into the night, to welcome in the start of summer before they went off into the big adult world. You remembered throwing back shot after shot. 

The thought of the clear burning liquid had your stomach bubbling with nausea and making you sit up, “I remember leaving you two lovebirds by the firepit, I was dancing-”

“-If you call that dancing.” Sam interrupted, his head still tilted back, and eyes closed.

You attempted to roll your eyes, but the muscle movement hurt your head more than it was worth, “-in Brady’s kitchen and then I remember nearly falling over but other than that. Nothing.”

Jessica offered you a reassuring smile, “You’ll find them one day.”

Once your head and body had cleared itself of the alcohol, you relished in periwinkle, fuchsia and evergreen. But weeks later, you still hadn’t found your soulmate, the one that had enabled you to see all these new and beautiful colours.

Eventually, after many conversations with Sam and Jessica, you decided to let fate play out. You’d already planned to travel the world and now you were able to see it in colour, you were even more excited

Well, for a few months of your solo adventure, until the colour began to fade into muted tones alongside your aching heart.

One Year Later…

It was the last chance for the Winchester’s to enjoy the summer. To soak in the sun and spend time with their loved ones before the chaos of Autumn took over their lives. 

Sam and Jess had rounded up all the usual gang for a barbecue to celebrate their engagement as well as Dean and Castiel’s new business venture; a bar in the next town over.

Across the garden, Sam had his arm around Jess while they welcomed guests as they wandered through the side gate. Ellen and Jo were the first to arrive, a selection of beers and chips in hand. Not long after, Bobby and Rufus brought in the burgers and more beer. 

Dean welcomed them all and then retreated to the other side as they all began to gush about Sam and Jess’s engagement. He hovered over the barbecue as the charcoal heated up, sipping on his beer, watching the excitement unfold across the lawn. 

Of course, he is over the moon for his brother; finding his soulmate, settling down in this beautiful white picket fence home and, now, getting married. He recalled how Sam’s name flashed on his mobile out of the blue, Sam’s words a little slurred and the raucousness of the college party in the background as he recounted how he needed his older brother’s advice on how to get the girl. 

Sam’s vision had changed the moment he caught sight of Jess across the lecture room, he spoke of how her blonde hair glowed, the way her pink plump lips grew into a huge smile then turned into a breathy chuckle once Sam realised he’d been caught staring at her.

Dean glanced back over to his family and friends, the strip of freshly mown grass was dull and the flowers he’d helped plant were no longer hosting vibrant petals. The feeling of jealousy and the worry that he was being left behind took over and he looked down at the grill. 

It all started years ago, it happened the night of Sam’s graduation party; the beautiful woman in the kitchen, dancing completely out of time to the music. Instead of going towards her and relishing in this newfound vision, Dean had decided to keep it to himself. He wasn’t ready for settling down, falling in love or even meeting his soulmate. 

Dean decided to rush past her and out of the house. His mission nearly failed as she collided into him and nearly fell over. He set her steady and without a second glance, left the party. Deep down, he knew he’d regret his actions, and that he’d end up in this position; watching his brother lead a life that he could only dream of. 

The dull colours were a constant reminder of what could have been. He turned his focus back to the grill, placing the burgers down and drowning out the sounds from across the garden. 

The moment the porch door swung open, you wrapped your arms around Jessica and nuzzled your face into her curly blonde locks. The travel tension dropping from your body, the soft gesture and the sepia tone of her face brought a warmth into your chest.

Jessica held your hands as you soaked in each other’s appearance “Y/N! Would ya look at yourself? Your video calls have not done you justice!”

“Says you!!” The pair of you grinned at one another before you glanced down at your right hand, pulling her left one up to expect the sparkling diamond, “The boy did good!”

"That he did.” Sam sauntered over and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, his locks fell across his face as he grinned down at you. “It’s about time I made an honest woman out of her. I’d crash and burn if it wasn’t for Jess.”

You rolled your eyes and slapped at his chest and turned back to Jessica, “Is he always this cheesy? I don’t remember him being this bad!”

“You’ve been away too long,” Sam chuckled and tugged you closer, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, “Nice to see you again Y/N. Let me take your bags; I’ll let Jess give you the tour.”

The lounge was homely with its large plush corner sofa and the floating shelves full of books, framed photographs and ornaments. Jessica guided you to the guest room and you relished in the normalcy, especially after years of owning nothing but a rucksack and a few days’ worth of clothes.

“Our bedroom is up the stairs and to the left, the room opposite is Sam’s office and then the bathroom on the right.” Jessica then rushed out the final words, “Dean’s room across the hall. He’s been staying whilst he sorts out the bar with Cas.”

“I’ll just freshen up and I’ll be straight out.” You smiled and shooed Jessica out of the bedroom. “Go and entertain your guests, I won’t be long!”

You wandered through the kitchen, a slight smirk on your lips as you twisted around to do a full rotation of the room; it was just how you imagined it would be. With the refrigerator adorned with magnets, gadgets neatly placed on the counters and the photographs dotted along the walls.

Without realising, you turned and walked straight into someone. Your face smashed into the soft cotton adorning someone’s chest. You gasped and stumbled backwards; the heat of embarrassment settled on your cheeks as you looked up at the wall of muscle you had collided with.

You found the bright green eyes of Dean Winchester looking like a deer in headlights. The golden flecks around his dilated pupils pulled your gaze across his features. His tanned skin and freckles splattered across his nose and cheeks had you follow the darker stubble along his jawline. His mouth was slack, and his pink fleshy tongue darted across his bottom lip.

A laughter echoed from outside, bringing you out of your trance. “I am so sorry!” 

You rushed past him and out into the garden with the want for the ground to swallow you whole. The only time you had met, well-spoken to, Dean, was during a phone call with Sam and then you had seen him when Sam had video called him. Of course, the webcam footage back at college was not the best but you had felt a warmth grow each time you walked past Sam’s room and could see Dean catching up with his younger brother.

A warm welcome by Bobby and Rufus was exactly what you needed to distract yourself from how the first time of meeting Dean Winchester had gone completely wrong. The offer of a beer and a patted spot on the blanket from Ellen had you grinning but not enough to stop your thoughts from wandering back to the man you collided with in the kitchen.

It had always been a surprise to you that it had taken this long to meet Dean, you’d met everyone else in Sam's circle except the closest member. You sipped on the beer, relished in the sunshine and the laughter around you as your thoughts drifted back to the way Dean looked, frozen in the spot just like you.

The pictures and videos did not do the man justice, and well, the last few years had done wonders and the way his bright green eyes sparkled in the frame of soft wrinkles.

Bright green eyes. You almost choked on your beer as you looked down to the ground. The navy and white striped blanket was no longer a dull tone, it was almost vibrant. Your heart raced as your hands glided along the soft fabric. 

Slowly, you glanced up at the raised flower beds to your left; luscious green leaves and dazzling pink petals facing upwards. You followed the flowers’ gaze; the cotton white clouds looked delicate against the contrasting blue sky. 

Your mouth dried and your skin shivered in anticipation as your eyes fell back down to the house, and the man standing on the decking in front of the French doors. 

His sparkling green eyes focused on you, and only you.

Everything Tag List: @reann-loves-sebstan / @aroyaldarknessblr / @thefridgeismybestie / @kitkatd7

Supernatural Tag List: @deanwanddamons

SPN Pond Tag List: @manawhaat / @thing-you-do-with-that-thing / @nichelle-my-belle-spn-con-blog / @notnaturalanahi / @deanscarlett / @whispersandwhiskerburn / @roxy-davenport / @deathtonormalcy56 / @samsgoddess / @frenchybell / @for-the-love-of-dean / @mysupernaturalfics / @spn-fan-girl-173 / @deandoesthingstome / @jelly-beans-and-gstrings / @fiveleaf / @deansleather / @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname / @waywardjoy / @mrswhozeewhatsis / @imadeangirl-butimsamcurious / @kayteonline / @supernatural-jackles / @wevegotworktodo / @quiddy-writes / @babypieandwhiskey / @wi-deangirl77 / @deantbh / @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki / @deanwinchesterforpromqueen / @chaos-and-the-calm67-blog / @memariana91 / @plaidstiel-wormstache / @chelsea-winchester / @becs-bunker / @writingbeautifulmen / @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell / @castieltrash1 / @supernaturalyobessed / @ohwritever / @ruined-by-destiel / @inmysparetime0 / @winchester-writes​ / @evilskank-inthemegacoven​ / @maraisabellegrey-blog​ / @faith-in-dean​ / @winchestersmolder​ / @bennyyh​ / @clueless-gold​ / @deanwinchesterxreader​ / @melbelle45 / @winchester-family-business​ / @4401lnc / @there-must-be-a-lock​ / @just-another-winchester​ / @canadianjelly / @emoryhemsworth​ / @cas-backwards-tie​ / @coralanadianspnhunter / @mostly-shawn / @sierra-grace1227​ / @flamencodiva​ / @kalesrebellion​ / @emilyshurley​ / @deanwanddamons​ / @ellewritesfix05​ / @idreamofplaid​ / @emptycanvasposts​ / @herfalsegod​

*Bold - unable to tag

#Dean Winchester x Reader #Dean Winchester #Dean Winchester Fic #Supernatural #Supernatural Fic #SPN #SPN Fic

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 2.10 (Working Girl)

Lizzie unintentionally breaking the fourth wall

- Have we already established the fact that Lizzie (not Hilary) is a really bad actress? She tries to butter her parents up by giving them compliments to get them to kindly raise her allowance. But of course, they are able to see right through her and give her a big fat NO. Lizzie is fuming!

Poor Miranda!

- The natural thing for Lizzie to do after this is to then vent to her friends at the Digital Bean. Miranda spots a ‘busboy wanted’ sign in the distance and tries to tell Lizzie that she could get a job to pay for her things. Lizzie is too busy in her rant to even notice what she’s trying to tell her but for some strange reason, when Gordo points it out to her instead, she suddenly pays attention and hears him out. Weird.

- Anyways, Lizzie easily gets the job and her first day is tomorrow. She thinks it’s going to be a piece of cake. Don’t jinx it Lizzie...

- The next morning, Lizzie announces her new job to her parents and they are taken aback because they didn’t expect her to get one all of a sudden. They are also worried that she’s taking on too many responsibilities and there might be too much on her plate. I think it’s safe to say they’re probably right. 

Lizzie Starts Her Job

- We skip to Lizzie on her first day working at the Digital Bean and she quickly realizes there’s a lot to do as the new busboy. And it doesn’t help that her manager seems to be a total nightmare to work for. She’s so bossy! I would hate having a manager like her. 

- And it doesn’t get better from then on because Lizzie is starting to get paranoid about her friends making even the smallest mess in the café because she has to be the one to clean up after them. But you know what, who could blame her? Especially when you have these two around: 

Can these two ever get a life?

- And unsurprisingly, Lizzie’s manager demands that she cleans up the spill when it’s so obvious that Kate and Claire were the ones who purposely caused it. Lizzie is now starting to feel regrets about taking this job.

- The next day (which I’m assuming is a Saturday?), Sam notices Lizzie looking distraught about having to go to work and tells her she can always quit if she wants to. He also lets Lizzie know that she’s just a kid and the only responsibilities she should have is being a good student, a good friend and a good daughter. Now that’s really solid advice from Sam...and Jo (because she probably told him to convince Lizzie to quit)

Lizzie Quits After....3 Days?

Lizzie’s better than me. I would’ve thrown that spoon right at his face lol

- During her shift that day, she’s dealing with a bunch of difficult customers, which, again, includes Kate and Claire. On top of that, her supervisor (whatever her name is) is just soooo not being understanding or thoughtful towards Lizzie.  

Also, if I were Lizzie, I would’ve popped Claire in her forehead and quit my job afterwards. Lizzie could’ve gotten really hurt thanks to her. 

That guy totally deserved that

- Lizzie has had enough and decides to give everyone who did her wrong a piece of her mind. I’m glad she manage to get that all out of her system but because of her rant, Lizzie gets fired from her role as busboy at the Digital Bean. But you know what? Good on her!

- After getting the pink slip, Lizzie comes home and tells her friends what just happened. She actually seems relieved that she doesn’t have to deal with the stress from her job anymore. Even just watching her work makes me feel stressed out. 

B-Plot: Miranda Doesn’t Like Breaking Young Boy’s Hearts

- Matt is currently feeling down in the dumps because he thinks that Melina doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore. Well, more like doesn’t like him anymore. He expresses this to his friend, Reggie, whom I don’t think we’ve been introduced to beforehand. 

- It’s not so much that Melina doesn’t talk to him anymore. It’s more so that she hasn’t been getting Matt into any trouble recently. I mean, we all know that this weird relationship of theirs has pretty toxic tendencies. But she’s actually now focusing her attention on this other boy named Jared.

- Reggie suggests to Matt that he ask his sister, Lizzie for some advice as to why Melina has been treating him differently these days. Matt hesitates at first but he realizes that he really has no other choice. 

This made me laugh so much. Matt literally insinuated that Jo isn’t a girl. I mean, she is a woman but I’m sure his mom more than qualifies.  

- Matt then shows up at Lizzie’s job to tell her about his problem. But their conversation is cut short by Lizzie’s manager. She’s beginning to really annoy me. 

It also doesn’t help that Lizzie can be quite clumsy sometimes...

- While Lizzie is busy being a total mess at work, Matt is lucky enough to be able to ask Miranda for advice instead since she is, indeed a girl. Miranda basically tells him that it’s Melina’s problem and how she isn’t able to realize how great of a kid Matt is. She also had to add that there are others girls who would be so lucky to go out with him. See how this is going?

Look at Matt’s face; He totally just misunderstood Miranda’s intention in everything she just told him lol

And now he’s gone full-blown stalker mode. Yikes!

- The next day, Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo come home from school to chill at Lizzie’s place but Matt uses this opportunity to give Miranda a ‘thank-you’ card:

Oh my word. Miranda better run for the hills hahahaha. Also, does the music have to be THAT dramatic when she opens his card? LOL

- It’s one thing to have crushes but Matt takes it to a whole other level. I get that he’s like 11/12 but still...

He’s also now calling her and sending her a bunch of balloons with his and her face on them. 

- On their three way call, Miranda is asking Gordo for his advice on how to gently turn Matt down. To my surprise, Miranda still doesn’t want to hurt Matt’s feelings and actually agrees to go on a bike-riding date with him. To be honest, if I were Miranda, it would also be hard for me to turn him down. I’m not exactly sure why. It must be the people pleaser in me...

By the way, is it weird that I love Miranda’s outfit here? Very Avril Lavigne circa 2002.

His smile...

- The next day, with Gordo’s support, Miranda tries to work up enough courage to reject Matt but before she could let it out, Melina marches into the living room  and confronts Miranda for ‘stealing her man’. Yikes, Miranda just got dissed by an 11 year old lmao. 

Melina just proved to all of us that she likes Matt back. That’s sweet...in a twisted kind of way.

- Oh and just like how Gordo pointed out, it’s quite embarrassing that Miranda just got dumped by Matt of all people. Again, poor Miranda...

- There’s also one last surprise for Miranda. Apparently Matt had a cake made for her that Lizzie has taken out of the fridge. And because of that, she has no other choice but to act like a pig and eat the frosting of the cake with her bare hands just to prevent Lizzie from seeing what’s written on the cake. I would have done the same thing lol.

Overall Thoughts

- I found this episode to be one the funniest Lizzie Mcguire episodes so far. I felt like almost every scene either made me slightly chuckle or laugh out loud. From Lizzie’s short stint at the Digital Bean as a busboy to Matt’s sudden crush on Miranda, I was thoroughly entertained from start to finish.

- Honestly speaking, had Matt been able to dial down the craziness in terms of ‘pursuing’ someone just like he did with Miranda, he actually knows how to be a pretty romantic kid. No wonder Melina likes controlling being around him. And seeing her confronting Miranda like that and basically telling her that she’s just a rebound was hilarious to watch. 

- Lizzie’s new job as the busboy was fascinating to watch because it’s the first time we see her working a job and taking on responsibilities outside the house and school. Even though she got fired, I can’t imagine anyone being able to put up with that bossy manager. Like if the busboy turnover rate is consistently high, surely that has something to do with the work environment and the people running the internet café, right? Or can they at least hire more busboys to spread out the workload? Solutions people!

#lizzie mcguire #hilary duff #disney #disney channel #disney plus #disney shows #lalaine #adam lamberg #working girl #nostalgia #nostalgic #early 2000s #00s #jake thomas #robert carradine #hallie todd #part time jobs #digital bean #busboy #lizzie mcguire review #lizzie mcguire episodes #lizzie mcguire season 2 #teen comedy

[fan4196]

Mother-in-law (Part 5)

Hey everyone I decided to write another Part for this multi-chapter. This is the last one, hope you like it. Enjoy!

A big thank you to @angry-slytherin again for beta reading :)

-

Today it's a little crazy in the Karev household. Alex is running around like a headless chicken, cleaning and preparing. Jo is trying to keep the twins entertained while she helps Alex cleaning. They really underestimated how big their new house is and that they need more than a day to clean it completely. They thought it would be done in a day like they used to be with the loft, but nope. They aren't even half done and they have to be at the airport in an hour.

"Ok, Alex screw it. Let's leave it dirty. Pick up the toys and laundry and leave the rest. They will understand." Jo's screaming from the guest bathroom into the hall where Alex is cleaning.

"But it has to be perfect." Alex's shouting back, not noticing that Jo's already walking towards him.

"Why are you so nervous? It's not their first time with us." Jo's softly speaking, hugging her husband from behind, stopping him in his motion.

"I know. But it's their first time in the new house. With their own rooms. And I want them to like it. I want everything to be perfect." He's nervous and tense. Turning around in his Jo's arms, she pulls him into a kiss.

"They will like it. Dirty or not. The loft wasn't that clean all the time either. They know how it is with us. Speaking of them. We really need to go if we want to be at the airport in time. You know your kids need hours until they sit in the car." With a last kiss Jo turns around and puts the cleaning stuff away. Alex puts his shoes on and graby the shoes of his kids.

After dressing the twins, picking out toys for the car ride, packing snacks and buckling them up in their car seats they are finally on the way to the airport.

"Daddy I'm so excited. I missed them." Emery is shouting excited from the backseat.

"You did? I'm sure they missed you too, Emy." Alex answers his daughter, watching her through the mirror.

"Are they staying forever now, daddy?" Shs askes.

"No. Just until the next holidays. Then they visit their mom again."

"Why don't they live with us all the time daddy? We have a big house now. And they have their own rooms."

"That's right, Emy. But remember what mommy told you about coparenting?" Alex's still watching his daughter through the mirror. Her hand is on her chin, making  her fake thinking face.

"It's when the mommy and the daddy are not together and the kids live sometimes with the mommy and sometimes with the daddy, right?" She watches Alex nod and smiles proudly.

"That's right. Good job. And that's why Eli and Alexis aren't living with us all the time. They live with us and go to school here and in their holidays they are with their mom in Kansas." He tries to explain it as simple as he can. Even though he knows that his four year olds are crazy smart, he makes it easy for her to understand.

"I wish their mommy would live here too, then they could be here all the time and play with P and me." She's saying quietly, while looking out of the window, diving into a daydream.

Jo places her hand on Alex's neck ruffling sofly through his hair, smiling at him. With a quick glimpse to the right he smiles back. God he's so thankful that after everything he did he got her back. He was almost certain that he fucked it up this time. After meeting each other again on Christmas at his mom's a few years ago, everything changed for him. He said it in his letter, because it's true, seeing her again made it impossible to walk away from her again. He and his twins moved to Seattle. He took the job offer he got from Bailey and he became a dad for their twins too. They coparented in the beginning and Jo and him started as friends again. They hung out and drank beer, when the kids were asleep. They shared donuts in dark supply closets and had long conversations on park benches, while their kids were playing on the playground. Jo slowly stared trusting Alex again and the love, that was never really gone, came back. They started dating, with Alex taking her to the most romantic restaurants because that was something they left completely out the last time. But they wanted to do it right this time and they wanted to make it work, for their kids. So they started completely new and bought a big new house, with rooms for everyone, a month ago.

+

The airport was overfilled today, with all those people coming from their summer vacations. So they hold onto the peanuts hands a little tighter to not lose them in the crowd of people also waiting for their loved ones. Alex checks his phone for the sixth time now, afraid that his other twins got lost somewhere on their way from the plane to the exit.

"There they are. Don't fuss, daddy they made it home safely." Jo jokes, kissing his cheek softly, then turning towards the exit, waving at the twins. Their little twins jump in excitement for their big siblings return home from Kansas, greeting them with big hugs. Jo hugs them next.

Alex loves that his kids get along so well and that his twins accepted Jo that quickly. He huggs his twins too, than they make their way to McDonald's to eat some lunch. On their drive home the car is filled with chatter and laughter, which not only fills Alex heart with joy, but also Jo's, who's smiling in the passenger seat.

At home they showed the big twins their new rooms and let them unpack.

+

Alexis closes her now empty suitcase as Jo walks by her open room door.

"Hey Jo. Can I talk to you for a second, maybe?" She's asking her kind of stepmom shyly.

"Sure." Jo puts the laundry basket down and walks into Alexis room, sitting down next to her on the bed.

"What's up? Something wrong?" Jo's asking.

"No- well not here. I love my new room. Thank you." The ten year old thanks Jo again with a smile.

"Oh of course, sweety. I'm happy you like it. Your dad wanted to paint it pink first." A laugh escapes Jo's mouth.

"No I love the green you picked. It's ectually my favorite color. But there's something else. I have this friend Taylor. We're best friends since kindergarten, we are very close and tell each other everything. It's just- it feels good to do things together. But I think that I maybe- I think I like him a little more than as a friend." Alexis stars to explain her problem when Jo interrupts her.

"Oh Taylor's a boy. Ok. Sorry. Keep going."

"I think I like him but I don't want to tell him. I'm afraid it will ruin our friendship." She's looking down to her hands sadly.

"Ok. I see. Should I tell you a story?"

Alexis nods without saying a word.

"I had this friend." Jo starts. "We hated each other at first. He was a douchebag. He was mean, called me names, gave me scut to do all the time. One day I lashed out and screamed at him. From that point on we became friends. We went to a wedding together, we got drunk and broke into a hotel room- Ok forget about that- anyway we got closer. We hung out and I started to fall in love with him. But I didn't want to tell him because I was also afraid it would ruin our friendship. So I started dating another guy. He wasn't the nicest so we broke up. My friend was there for me, he took care of me and one night in a dark supply closet of the hospital he told me that he loved me too. And it was the best feeling in the world. We kissed for the first time and it was magic-"

"What happened to your friend? Did you break up and loose him?" Alexis interrupts Jo with her question.

"No. He's still my best friend." Jo tells her with a smile.

"Really? Is it uncle Link?" The girl is a little confused.

"No. It's your dad." Alexis is speechless.

"Wow."

"Sometimes you have to risk something, to get something great. I was really afraid to tell your dad about my feelings but to be honest we already knew what we felt for each other. So if it feels right for you to be with Taylor then tell him how you feel. Maybe he feels the same. Sometimes boys are just as shy as girls when it comes to their feelings. So make the first move maybe it's good in the end."

"Thank you Jo." Alexis pulls her into a tight hug.

"Any time, Alexis. If there's anything you want to talk about you can always come to me. I can listen and I can give advices if you need them." Jo's pulling out of the hug, brushing a lose strand of hair behind Alexis ear.

"Ok. One more thing. Could this maybe stay our little secret for now?"

She's asking sweetly, putting on her best puppy dog eyes, which she obviously doesn't have from her father.

"Sure." How could Jo say no to those.

"I want to talk to Taylor first, than I will tell dad. Ok?"

"Or we tell your dad now and after you told him your secret I will tell him mine." Jo says cheekyly.

"What's your secret?" Alexis askes immediately excited.

"I'm pregnant." Jo whispers happily, waiting for Alexis reaction.

"Oh my God. That's so awesome, Jo." She screams excited, hugging Jo tightly. "Let's go tell dad. He can't be angry at me when he hears he's gonna be a dad again."

"That was my plan." Jo smiles.

Alexis grabbing her hand, pulling Jo out of her room.

#Jolex #jolex #jolex fanfic #jolex babies #jolex forever #jo x alex #jo karev #jo wilson #alex karev #Grey's #greys #Grey's anatomy #grey's fic #fan.4196

[hymn2000]

Don’t Shoot Me I’m Only The Piano Player - MCU AU Fanfic - C17

(Previously Ideal Confusion)

Story summary: Giving into the constant pressure from the press, Tony decides to put a rest to the rumours that Peter is his biological son - once and for all.

Previous Chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: family, family stuff, family conflict, adoption, DNA test(s), pressure, peer pressure, social issues, mentions of alcoholism, mental health problems, potentially some minor medical inaccuracies, corporal punishment, hurt/comfort

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 17 - I Feel Like A Bullet

-

Something about the hospital turned Peter’s stomach. He stayed close to Tony, walking determinedly, but froze when they reached the ward.

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea” Tony said. “You’re not up to this”

“That isn’t for you to decide”

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go home, and-”

“No! I need to see him”

“You don’t look so sure”

Peter looked at him. “He wants me to see him too”

Tony scoffed. “Well, I- Oh, don’t give me that look! Alright, alright, let’s see if they’ll let you see him”

-

Mr Hardwood, the boarding master, didn’t look too happy to see Peter.

“What are you doing here? Looks like you’ve been in the wars yourself” he said, pushing Peter’s fringe back and inspecting his bandages.

Peter pushed his hand away and glared at him.

“Peter!”

“If looks could kill! You certainly take after your father”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Tony demanded.

Mr Hardwood looked at him. “Your husband gives me the same look every time he sees me”

Tony sighed. “Give the kid a break; he just wants to see his mate”

“You’d do well to keep him away from Owen’s. He’s the biggest tearaway I’ve ever had in my house, and I’ve been in the job more than thirty years. I’m just surprised he didn’t end up here sooner”

Tony looked at the boys, at the way they held hands and rested their heads together. Malaki looked awful, hooked up to monitors, head heavily bandaged, face pale as snow. He couldn’t help being glad it hadn’t been Peter.

“I expected his parents” Tony said simply.

“They’re on route” Mr Hardwood said. “They’ve had a hard time getting away from work. Meetings a town or two over, I think”

Tony looked at Malaki. He didn’t like the kid at all, but he did feel a bit sorry for him. If it had been Peter, he’d have stormed out of even the most important meetings to be with him. He was surprised Malaki’s hadn’t done the same.

“Thanks for coming, curly” Malaki croaked. “I could do with a friendly face. I hate hospitals. I’ve never been, like, admitted to one before. Not like you”

Peter rested his nose against Malaki’s and closed his eyes for a moment.

“...I said his mum was a swinger” Malaki said. “There’s a club at the back of one of the houses in his street. It could be true. I only said it because he was being his usual self, goading me and stuff. I guess it worked”

Peter opened his mouth and tried to speak. He tried to tell Malaki they should have turned Nigel in. He tried to tell him to rest, he tried to tell him how much he meant to him. But try as he might, he couldn’t so much as squeak.

Malaki rested a shaking hand on Peter’s cheek.

“See?” he said. “You love me really”

Peter raised his hand to his mouth, his heart thudding in his chest.

“I love you too, you know, Peter Stark” he struggled onto his side. “Not to ruin the moment, but I think I’m gonna be sick”

Peter grabbed a cardboard bowl from beside the bed for him. 

Tony leant closer to Mr Hardwood.

“How bad is it, really?”

“They’re worried” Mr Hardwood said. “They had to sedate him to fix his head, and he’s got some bad signs. Bruising behind the ears and things like that. Bad signs, apparently. He keeps being sick and he had a fit in the ambulance. They’re keeping an eye on it”

“Poor kid. He’ll be alright though, won’t he?”

Mr Hardwood held up a hand, questioning. “Suppose we’ll find out”

They were distracted by footsteps, and a frantic, but well-dressed and well-presented couple rushed over.

“Malaki!”

Peter scurried aside as the pair ran over, the woman gathering Malaki up in her arms. Peter watched them, the way she held him and the way he buried himself in her touch. He couldn’t help being jealous when he saw people with loving mothers. It always reminded him of May.

“You’ll be the death of us, young Malley” the man said, close at his wife’s side.

“Peter, we should go” Tony said.

The man looked up. “Peter? You’re the Peter he’s always talking about?”

“Don’t get all up on him, dad” Malaki mumbled, pulling away from his mother and flopping back on the bed. “He’s jus’ been keeping me company”

“You didn’t have anything to do with this, did you?”

“Dad! Leave him alone” Malaki said, resting a hand on his forehead.

“Sorry, sorry. God, Malley, we’ve been going mad worrying about you! It’s one thing after another with you! First-”

Peter didn’t know where to look. He’d heard Malaki being told off before, but not in these circumstances, and not by his parents. 

Mr Owens stopped, sighed. “You’d better be alright”

Tony swallowed. “You should say goodbye, Peter”

“Aw, don’t go” Malaki said. 

Peter felt sick. Something was so wrong here. He didn’t really want to be near Mr Hardwood, or Malaki’s parents, or his own parent. Maybe it was them making him feel so nervous. Still, maybe Tony was right.

He gave Malaki a little hug, feeling awkward with everyone watching - and then froze. He pulled back slightly, looking into Malaki’s eyes. He felt Malaki’s grip loosen, and he turned and slammed his palm into the emergency button above the bed.

“Peter! What are you doing?!”

It all seemed to happen at once after that.

“Malaki?!”

“Malaki! Oh god, he’s fitting!”

“Make some space, please!”

“Peter, come on!”

Tony grabbed Peter, forcing him out of the room and off the ward.

-

Everything seemed much too quiet. Peter could hardly walk, and it felt as though he would have fallen if Tony didn’t have his arm round him. He felt like he was going to be sick.

They were outside before he knew it. Tony stopped, still holding onto him.

“How did you know?”

Peter pulled away from him and doubled up.

“Oh god. Alright kid, I’ve got you” Tony sighed, awkwardly patting his back.

Peter finished and pushed him away.

“Whoa! Hey, come on”

Peter turned away from him, wiping his mouth.

“Hey, not on your sleeve! Oi, where do you think you’re going? Car’s this way”

-

Loki didn’t look happy when he saw Tony.

“You know, I thought, over the last however-many years of marriage, relationships, and negotiation, that we had an agreement of letting each other know if we’re going to be more than twenty minutes late”

“Sorry, Loll; I got caught up”

Loki looked at Peter. “Give me your blazer”

Peter slipped it off and handed it over.

“Now go and get changed”

Peter didn’t need convincing. Loki looked back at Tony.

“I want the full story when I’m back”

“Back from where?! Loki, don’t walk away from me! From where?!”

“The laundry room!”

-

Tony told Loki everything, of course.

“He lied, Lokes. Shouldn’t we do something about that? I mean, he’s given a free pass to Nigel, who put someone in hospital! That’s too big a lie”

“It’s schoolyard justice, chick” Loki sighed. “He was returning a favour”

“Yeah, but he’s never done anything that bad! At least, I don’t think he has”

“I’m sure he hasn’t, but this isn’t any of our business”

“He’s our kid; of course it’s our business!”

Loki sighed. “What exactly do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know! Give me some advice, maybe?”

“I have: I’ve told you to leave it alone”

“Yeah, but-”

“But what, Anthony?! If you want to do something different, that’s your prerogative, but I’ll have no part in it. Don’t you think he’s been through enough today?”

“His head isn’t that bad”

“I’m not talking about his head!” Loki snapped, starting to get angry. “I’m talking about seeing his friend seriously hurt, and fitting, in hospital”

“He saw you in worse states”

Loki stopped. He sat down opposite Tony.

“Let’s talk about that, shall we?”

Tony looked away. “I don’t want to”

“Why bring it up, then?”

“I was just making a point”

“Well, maybe we should talk about it. We never talk about it. We both went through it, albeit from different angles, but you never face up to it”

“We were newlyweds, Loki! Our first year of marriage is marred by what happened to you”

“It was a few months; not the whole year”

“You know what I mean” Tony mumbled.

“Do I? Tell me, Anthony. Talk about what happened”

“I don’t want to!” he stood up, turning his back on Loki.

“Well, I do!” Loki said, grabbing his shoulder and turning him back to face him. “I want to talk about it, and I need to”

“You’ve talked about it with Pepper, and with May when she was still alive, and Mary and Jo Jo, and a couple of professionals. You don’t need to talk about it again”

“Yes, I do! None of them were there, not like you. None of them know me as well, or know as much about it, as you. You went through the whole thing by my side, but after I recovered you acted like it never happened. I need to work through this, Tony, and I need to do it with my husband”

Tony was quiet for a moment. “It hurt too much. I don’t want to relive it. It was ages ago now. Why can’t we pretend it never happened?”

“For the same reason you can’t buy vanilla bath products or Herbal Essences anymore. There’s always going to be remnants of it”

“There doesn’t have to be”

“Tony, just let me talk about it with you!”

“I don’t want to. I don’t see why we have to reflect about it as if it’s some fond memory. Isn’t it easier to forget?”

“Evidently not! But maybe it would be easier if we actually talked about it properly for once, instead of just mentioning it through obscure references. I’m reminded of it every time I bump into nurse Tyler, every time I see someone from that ward. And I’m reminded every time the hospital garden and colouring books are mentioned”

Tony swallowed hard. “You want to talk about difficult things? Fine. Why don’t you talk about those property listing the kid found? I’ve looked at them”

“You went through my things? Tony!”

“I’ve seen the dates on them. They aren’t from your sabbatical, so tell me what’s going on”

“Maybe I just like houses. We’re not talking about some printouts; we’re talking about the time I spent two months in hospital”

“Loki, how many times?”

“And how many times do I have to try to get you to talk about what happened? Anthony, the sooner you face up to it, the better! I spent weeks in hospital, in a c-”

“Dad?”

Loki spun round. “... I didn’t hear you come in”

“You weren’t listening”

“No, I suppose not...”

Tony looked at the clock. “We should get the kid fed”

“I’m not hungry” Peter said.

“You’ll eat whether you like it or not, young man”

“I SAID, I’m not hungry! I’ll get something later if I want it”

“That’s not the deal, kid”

“Why does there have to be a deal?!”

“Oh Tony, give it a rest” Loki sighed, sitting down at the breakfast bar. “If he’s not hungry, he’s not hungry”

“He needs to eat. You can have a good meal or a good spanking, that’s your choice”

“Tony!”

“What? I’m parenting”

“That’s hardly parenting”

“Look, if he was an adult, he’d be getting done for lying to the police, so-”

“What are you talking about?” Peter interrupted.

“You, covering for Nigel! You shouldn’t lie about things as serious as that”

“I was returning a favour. We owed each other, and now he owes me and I owe him nothing. I levelled the playing field”

“It’s not levelling the playing field if he still owes you” Tony said. “Stop being so silly. You need to eat, and if you’re not going to eat-”

“You can’t spank him for not being hungry” 

“Oh, really? Actually, it was going to be for being defiant. What can I spank him for, then?”

“You know, Anthony, until you blew your top the other day, I thought that was something we’d phased out. But if that’s something you want to discuss, we’ll have to wait until the baby is out of the way. It’s not exactly a conversation he needs to be involved in, is it?”

“What about the one about the houses?” Peter said.

“Yes, Loki, what about the one about the houses?” Tony said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Loki looked between the two of them. “You’re being ridiculous”

“Tell us then, Loki Stark. I don’t believe for a second that they’re just for you to look at because you like houses”

“Ok, firstly, what makes you think this is any of your business? And secondly-”

“We’re married, Loki! Of course it’s my business”

“Oh, we’re married, are we? What’s that, again? People who share everything? Hm, seems we’ve missed that, given your ongoing insistence that we don’t need to talk about the time I was in a-”

“Loki, that’s history”

“NOT TO ME!” Loki shouted, slamming his fist down on the breakfast bar, making Peter jump. “You want to know what those houses are for? The children’s home in Scotland want me to go back, I considered it because I did well when I was there and it would be good to work somewhere without those constant reminders of my time on the coma ward, so I started looking at places to live if I accepted. Is that a good enough answer for you, Anthony Edward Stark?!”

There was a heavy silence, in which no one knew quite what to do.

Eventually Tony cleared his throat.

“...I forgot to get bread and milk”

-

Peter wasn’t sure why he’d ended up at Tony’s side in the car. 

“We could have just gone to the corner shop” he said timidly.

“I want something a bit more artisan”

Peter nodded. Tony was rubbish at hiding his feelings.

-

Going to his room seemed like Peter’s only option when they got home. He didn’t want to be part of any arguments. Although, as it happened, he didn’t hear any. He sat on his bed and thought about Malaki. He hoped he was alright.

-

Loki sat down beside Peter on the edge of the bed.

“Did you know that the calories in a hot chocolate make it equivalent to a small meal?”

Peter smiled slightly and took the mug from him. “The first tolerant conversation we ever had”

“Tolerant? I remember being highly annoyed at your presumptuousness”

“Well, maybe...”

They sat in silence for a minute.

“Malaki’s not going to die, is he?”

“He’s young and strong” Loki said. “He’s got a good chance of recovery”

“You know what you said in the kitchen?”

"Yes?”

“Was it true?”

“Mostly”

Peter looked at him. It only took him a second to work out which part wasn’t true.

“You’re not leaving him, are you?”

“No. That was never part of the thinking. Even if he is being a-... Well, even if he is being incredibly difficult right now”

“Do you think you’ll actually go back?”

“I doubt it. I can’t leave you”

“What about him?”

“He wouldn’t let me take you with me”

Peter glanced at his mug. “I’m not so sure. He’s been a bit better today, but he’s essentially acted like he hates me since we got the test results”

Loki shook his head. “He wouldn’t let you go”

“Would you leave if he let me come too?”

“I don’t know”

“Because you don’t want to leave him?”

“He’d cope. We’ve done distance before”

“Living in your brothers flat doesn’t really count”

“It always felt like much farther away”

“...You still love him, right?”

Loki nodded. “With all my being. But that doesn’t mean he’s my first priority”

“Well, then what is?”

“You are”

“Really?”

“Well, most of the time. Closely followed by myself. It’s not selfish to look after yourself, you know”

“I know...”

“You should go to sleep when you’ve finished that” Loki said. “You’ve got school in the morning”

“You know, this whole life thing doesn’t seem to be getting any easier”

Loki laughed slightly. “It took me more than a thousand years to get to where I am now”

“I’m not gonna live that long”

“Well, maybe not. But don’t expect a quick fix. You know better than most how life fluctuates”

“Well, I wish it wouldn’t”

“You can’t control that, chick” he said, standing up. “I’ll check on you in a bit. Goodnight, chick”

“Yeah, goodnight, dad” Peter sighed, thinking about everything that had happened that day. “...See you in the morning”

Loki nodded and made for the door.

“Wait, dad?”

Loki paused and turned his head to him.

“What’s that word for when a bullet hits something and then another and another?”

Loki thought for a moment.

“Ricochet” 

*

#my writing #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #frostiron #irondad and spiderson

[amnachil]

To the Perfection Chapter 2 Part 4

The next part for you guys :) More drama and... more drama that’s all.

Cody Thursday March 28

Wanting to please Thomas was a good idea. But hell if Cody knew how to do it. Now that he was convinced Ilhan and his crush were a thing he had decided to try his luck too. But the ginger literally hated him. He had tried everything... He had been coming to the gym with Joël in hope to have a training session the three of them together. He had tried his best during soccer's practice. But the truth was : Thomas didn't need him. He has a whole life without me. I wonder when I became an old memory for him... There was no point to ask any advice to Joël. He's nice and all but... Not very bright. So the teenager tried to spy on Ilhan. After all, his friend had succeeded to conquer Thomas's heart one way or another. But there was absolutely nothing special about him. Sure he was devoted, sweet and caring but Cody was all that too. And I know Thomas since kindergarten... And that was why this evening, Cody had came up with his ultimate plan. There was one person on earth who knew Thomas maybe better than Thomas himself. And luckily, this person would be back in two days for the weekend. The young teenager knocked at the Muller's door, a bit stressed. His ginger friend wasn't supposed to come back before hours. Because he's at Ilhan's place... Raphaël's boyfriend opened.

"Hi." greeted Cody. "You may not recognise me. I'm one of Thomas's friend ?"

The other nodded.

"Sorry but he's not here right now." he smiled.

"Well, that's not a problem since I didn't came to talk to him... Hum I was just... Well I don't know how to say it."

Dan looked at him curiously. He was a very chubby lad. Buff too. A great mix of fat and muscle to be fair, and Cody wouldn't put in a fight with him.

"I just wanted to talk to Raphaël this weekend about something..." he revealed. "I was just wondering if you could tell him that ? He doesn't answer his phone."

"Yeah, he's not in the country." replied the other. "And don't worry, I'll tell him. He should have some free time on saturday late afternoon."

"Nice. Thank you. Bye."

Cody left right away. This is my only chance. I need Raphaël to reveal me some intel about his sibling...

He was almost home when he recieved a text. Weird. Nobody ever texts me. But the content was even more surprising. Joël had sent him a link to the group chat of the class. Should I be offended I havn't been invited before ? He suddenly saw the photos. Thomas and Ilhan talking under the trees. Kissing. Going home. Jessica had posted a lot of them with a big caption :

< They're a couple ! So cool for our captain !!!! >

It hurt. Cody's heart clenched and he felt a wave of sadness take hold of him. This is nothing new. I already knew that. But it became more real now. He read Joël's text.

< Jo : OhMigOd ThoMy Is gAy !! ILhAn toO ! WhAt do You tHinK ?!! >

I feel like shit. I want to puke. All these years he had restrained his feelings because he thought Thomas was interested in girls. And now that they were growing apart, the love of his life happened to be into men. Another message popped in.

< Jo : I thInk thisis CoOl ! BuT Man ThomY coUd havE tOld uS ! >

Note for later : teach Joël how to type on a cellphone... Well of course their friend hadn't tell them. Because they weren't friends anymore. Barely acquaintances. We don't know him anymore. He finally replied.

< Cody : I hope they will be fine with this huge revelation. This is not a silly topic and Jessica did something bad. You should not talk to them about it before they agree to talk openly. >

< Jo : ToO Late !! xoxo TexTed Tomy. He SaiD iT wAs finE. He'S oky ! >

Cody shut off his phone. So it was fine ? I don't want to think about it anymore. Fine... They were a couple and it was fine if everyone knew about it. What are my chances in these conditions ? He decided to cry only when he was locked in his bedroom.

Dan Saturday March 30

Everything looked different when you were next to the person you loved. Dan couldn't say how happy he was to have Raphaël back. It's only for two days, but it feels so damn good. The morning went perfectly. Same for lunch time : it looked like the two brothers had made peace now. Thomas was smiling perfectly and acting nicely. So the college student couldn't picture what could go wrong. At least until Cody showed up. The teenager sat in the living room with Raphaël. He was obviously stressed, even shaking a bit. Well, Dan wasn't the most observant people on earth but he had noted how Thomas was staring at his "friend". The way he had tensed up when this one had came inside. There is something bad going on between them.

"You wanted to talk with me." smiled Raphaël. "I'm all ears."

"Yeah well... Sorry if I'm bothering you. I'll make it short."

"The faster, the better." approved Thomas. "My brother gets only two day for himself."

His comment brought a cold look from Raphaël and Cody became even more discomforted.

"It's just... I was worried about Thomas. I fear how our classmates will react to his forced coming out. I mean when the photo of him and Ilhan together went out, people were crazy. I don't want anyone to hurt him."

A blank followed. Dan blinked, stunned. Wait. I need time to process. Thomas's forced coming out ? Thomas and Ilhan ? The reaction of people ? A feeling of deja-vu made him uneasy. His own experience had been kinda similar. Next to him, Thomas sighed. He was apparently annoyed. Raphaël on the other hand didn't move an inch. He was like frozen.

"Uh... Did I said something bad ?" asked Cody.

"No." whispered the eldest brother. "I understand what you're saying. Being gay can be perceived as a sin and people can be very intolerant about it. Thomas must be very happy to have a friend like you who support him through this. Especially if his coming out wasn't... planned."

He glanced at his sibling who looked away.

"I'm also very happy for you Thomas." he continued. "It's nice to know you find someone you... can show affection to."

Dan frowned. It was very difficult to know what Raphaël was thinking. He's so impassive, so apathetic. I think he's trying very hard to show an emotion but he's failing.

"Maybe... Maybe you should discuss about it with Thomas himself." suggested Raphaël. "Oh and Dan can help, he had a similar experience. I will just... Go away."

When the college student arrived in the bedroom an hour later, his boyfriend was laying in the bed, covered by the blanket. Thomas, despite being a bit mad, had tried to be nice and he had explained things to Cody and Dan. So they're a couple for one month now. Well honestly I'm not that surprised.

"Can you close the door ?" asked Raphaël. "The light is bothering me."

His cold tone alerted Dan who obeyed diligently. He laid next to his man and passed an harm around his shoulders.

"Are you alright ?" he whispered.

Only silent. No he's not. But the brown lad didn't know why exactly. Yes it was quite a big thing but there were no reason to be in one hell of a state right ? Thomas was gay and he dated a classmate. It was all good news !

"Are you worried about your brother ?" he asked. "I know very well it can be scary but he's fine. He has friend who care about him. A wonderful and supportive brother. There is nothing common between my coming out and his. I can even ask Darren to watch him at school and..."

Raphaël suddenly raise his head. His face was particulary cold.

"You talked with Darren ?" he mumbled with a scaring voice.

"Well yeah ? He's my bestfriend remember ? Oh yeah I told you he was distant lately but we're better now. He was just having some doubts about himself."

His boyfriend dug his head in his soft chest.

"This is a shitty day." he whispered. "I just want to sleep."

"Okay. Come here baby."

Thomas Sunday March 31

"So... urp. We're... urp... boyfriend now ?"

"It has been a month. If people ask, tell them this."

Ilhan rolled his eyes. He swallowed the spoonful of jelly Thomas was giving him. A belly rub made him moan.

"I got that." he said. "But are we boyfriend boyfriend or what ?"

The ginger gave him a dirty look. How stupid can he be ?

"We're pretending to be a couple." he explained. "If people ask, we're dating. Isn't it clear enough ?"

With his two hands he pushed the other onto the mattress. He had a better view of his swollen stomach now. It looks nicely stuffed.

"Wait. Does that mean you love me now ?" asked again Ilhan.

"Heck do I look like I love you man ? You're gross."

While speaking, Thomas unbuttoned Ilhan's pants and stroked his dick. I'm sure he can fit at least one more pie.

"And why are we pretending again ?"

"That's defenitely not your business."

There were several reasons for it. First of all, even if he hated to admit it, Thomas needed to fuck someone to avoid any tragic accident with Dan. And Ilhan was better than a nobody. Secondly, now that everyone knew about their thing, it was easier to pretend to be a couple. And finally Raphaël wouldn't suspect that his brother has a huge (really huge) crush on his boyfriend if he was dating someone else. Thomas cut the pie.

"This is simple." he stated. "You continue to be exactly what you're : a perfect little piggy who is craving to be fucked. And at school be the same. Don't try to be sweet or to show affection, it would be sickening."

"O... Okay."

"Now let's finish this pie. I want the nurse to be horrified tomorrow when she realises you weight 86 kg (190 pounds) of pure blubber."

When he headed home on late afternoon, Thomas was thinking. He had made the best of this bad situation. I should have known people would eventually find out. Cody had truly screwed up this time. This useless stupid leech would pay for this one way or an other. But at least, now Raphaël knew and more importantly, Dan too. All I need now is to be better than my brother. He was coming closer to his home when he felt a cold. His surroundings were freezing. Or maybe it was only in his head.

"I told you to not talk to him ever again." a very, very (very) cold tone resonated. "Do I need to repeat myself ?"

Thomas decided it was better to hide. He ran behind the nearest tree and looked around. Raphaël was talking with Darren. I knew there was something fishy.

"Look, you're mad, I get it." assured the science teacher. "And you despise me, fair enough. But Dan is my bestfriend and I won't let him down. We're having fun together, I'm not a threat anymore !"

Anymore ?! What does that mean ? This is so interesting ! The temperature seemed to decrease. Everything looked about to die of exposure. Thomas had already lived such a phenomenon once. A very long time ago, when their father had almost hit their mother. Raphaël, 8 at the time, had ordered him to stop. He had been emitting the same aura back then and now. Needless to say, their father had never even raised his voice again.

"There is no way I let you hang out with my boyfriend." said the ginger.

His tone was deadly cold. Thomas almost see frost spead around him. It was frankly terrifying and he shivered. He would face the same dreadful voice if Raphaël discovered his plan to steal Dan's love from him.

"I assure you I'm not the same person than in middle school !" whined Darren with fear. "I beg you. I just want to be his friend. I won't tell him about us, never."

About what now ?! Thomas was clearly afraid of his brother but he smiled anyway. His science teacher and Raphaël had been a couple ! That was the best thing he could have asked for ! Man, I already picture Dan getting jealous... Raph getting mad... And when my dear love realise how scary he is... This is it. It was his perfect plan. He only needed proof.

To be continued

Cody is depressed because he has a crush on the most perfect person in the world... Although a lot of people would think otherwise. Ilhan being the first in line ;)

Anyway, our young ginger found a weakness to his dangerous (magical ?) brother. How will he exploit it ? Raphaël doesn’t seems good, but it’s only the beginning of his problems.

For those who wonder, Liam (MC of the College Society) believes Raphaël is a mutant. And maybe he’s right, because this is some terrifying aura that he has here.

#to the perfection #TP #Cody #Dan #Thomas #Raphaël's back #Does he have a secret ? #With Darren ? #Ilhan is forcefed again #Not that he complain much anymore #Chapter 2 #Part 4

[murphystartedthefire]

Conageddon: Luisa d’Oliveira’s Panel + associated stuff

So it’s just my luck that immediately after posting my Richard/Luisa recap, a whole bunch of the Conageddon panels including that one became available online! I definitely encourage people to check them out!

Unfortunately the people who taped them missed Luisa’s solo panel and Richard’s solo panel. So I will still recap those to the best of my ability like I was planning to.

PANEL

- As with all the panels, it was introduced with a fan video - it was this one that had an angsty/uplifting focus on Emori finding acceptance with spacekru. <3 Luisa said afterwards that she loves watching videos that fans cut together because it’s seeing her character's journey through their eyes.

- She talked about the backstories she’s come up with for Emori. She had different ideas and then the stuff with Baylis filled in some gaps but left a lot open. (Some of this came up at Unity Days also btw! I just don't think I wrote it up then because I didn’t have time. *hides*) She thinks the real Baylis was someone who collected outcast/mutated children and basically raised her, in an abusive and psychologically manipulative way. Her headcanon is that Otan was not her biological brother, but that she bonded with him during that time and they’d gotten out together.

- Going into season five, she said she had two ideas about what could happen with Emori in space -- she would either end up friends with everyone, or she'd not know how to deal with it and become more antagonistic. Which is basically what happened to John Murphy, so she was like “I nailed it” for both of them, hee.

- She has a project coming up but it’s on a new show/pilot and can’t say anything about it. [Note from Nicole: To be clear it might just be a minor role and not necessarily a big 100-affecting deal.]

- I asked her a question about her video game role in "Far Cry 5" -- she did the motion capture as well as voice acting for the game! So she talked about what that was like, wearing the suit with the beads and moving around a room reacting to people who weren’t there. The hardest part was knowing how much to act with her face, because on TV you would try to use subtle expressions, but the animation might not catch it and just look blank.

- In season 4 it was interesting having scenes with a lot of new characters and she’d think about what Murphy would have told her about them. A moment that didn't make it onscreen is when they're planning to go up in the rocket, John says something snarky and Bellamy gives him a "Shut up, Murphy" or something like that, and on one of the takes she just immediately GLARED at Bellamy like how dare you talk to him like that. *G*

- An audience member asked how she would want Emori to die. She says "happy", she would like an ending like Monty and Harper had, either that or in a "blaze of glory." Emori would not go down quietly.

- Moderator Jo followed this up with asking if she would lay down her life for John Murphy. Luisa says absolutely, he would for her and she would also, that's been established many times. Pointed to the scene in God Complex when she was trying to convince him not to fight for her. (She started cutely “reenacting” it like noooo save yourself and joked that was the original version before she helped them rewrite it.)

- Luisa’s Book Club recs: "The Brain That Changes Itself" by Norman Doidge and "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. She also loves Jane Austen and a book character she wishes she could transport into The 100 is Elizabeth Bennet.

- A character she would like to do more with is Indra. She never had any real female mentor relationships, at least before space.

- There were two really moving comments/questions in a row about her portrayal of Emori from people with diabilities, one said it was so important especially to see disabled love on TV, the other talking about the humanity and poise she gives her like few other disabled characters. She acknowledged she comes to it as someone who doesn’t have that experience in real life and wants to be respectful. She always just tried to ground it in something real and draw from the times she’s felt judged and isolated in her life, the feeling of walking into a room where everyone else is part of a family and she didn't belong there. :..( Authentic without it being the only thing that defines her.

- Toward the end she was trying out her English (Cockney) and Irish acccents. Not bad at them! She said she once talked to a drunk man in Ireland and he believed her fake accent, just thought she was from some other town. But she thinks it wouldn't have worked if he was sober. *g*

- Her favorite hot snack on set is pierogies. She was definitely also asked about her love of Italian food and what she likes to cook but I forgot! There was one audience guy who said he also has his friends over for dinner to watch the 100 and she was like “we were probably cooking at the same time.”

- Asked to describe Emori in season six with one emoji. She eventually went with “the one that's a straight line mouth and big eyes” -- which is actually the "Neutral Face". LOL clever.

- HI I GOT BACK UP ON THE MIC AND ASKED ABOUT THE "JOHN MURPHY I FELL IN LOVE WITH" SCENE and when (or if) Emori's feelings changed between that and the finale. Luisa says: Emori's feelings never changed, that wasn't the problem. To her that scene was about her trying to be logical and think with her head. When he was injured, her heart took over and everything else went out the window.

- What Emori now (or at the end of S5) would tell herself in her first episode: "There are people worth trusting even if they don't seem that way at first."

- Luisa’s advice to her own younger self (I’m pulling this from a livetweet): Don’t be so afraid of taking chances, saying or doing the wrong thing. Just keep paying attention and keep your mind open. Be kind. Be confident. You're good.

OTHER LUISA STUFF

- While her VIP and panel were criminally under-attended compared to some of the guests, I was really happy to see a ton of people did visit her in the autograph room and she had a good line throughout. She even got an Emori Pop! from the same person who’d made mine.

- I should also mention that when I interrupted her and Richard’s beer pong tournament in my party dress Friday night, she immediately recognized me as the one who always dresses at Emori and told Richard that was me. *blush* So I decided to go to her auto table on the day when I was in the outfit and my friend captured a shot of her hugging me.

- Whew, the other big thing was that I gave both her and Richard the mixtapes I made for their characters. Hers is basically the same as the one I posted for Emori Appreciation Week... She seemed genuinely touched and happy and was like “I’ll probably put these into my workbook” and I was like ohhh no haha I hope you just like *one* of them. She already knows “Creep” is on it, was saying it’s a big Emori song for her and describes exactly how she felt in vulnerable moments.

- I also brought up something she said on one of the early panels (with all the girls) about how Emori carries stress in her body and I did notice that in the scene she was talking about. I also noticed that when she's scared she usually reacts with anger like she's trying to cover it. She said she definitely did that intentionally, it’s an animal-like instinct Emori has -- when some animals are threatened, they try to go “I’M SCARY!!” (aww) Another way she’s like a cat.

- Also on Sunday toward the end, I ran into some of the cast near the VIP hallway and Luisa grabbed me and thanked me for my questions at her panel. ;___; This woman.

#luisasource #luisa d'oliveira #emori #emorisquad #the 100 cast #cute for a thief #conageddon

[raywritesthings]

Wrong Road to the Right Place 12/?

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Oliver Queen, Laurel Lance, Quentin Lance, John Diggle, Thea Queen, Moira Queen, Joanna de la Vega Pairings: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: Laurel finds herself curious about the marks Oliver showed her that night in his bedroom - and the tattoo on his left shoulder stands out in particular. When she discovers its meaning, she finds herself questioning everything she knows about the man she doesn’t want to admit she still loves. *Can also be read on my AO3 page*

Laurel let herself into her apartment and went straight back to the closet in her room, eyeing everything that hung there critically. It had been quite a few years since she’d needed to attend some fancy to-do like this, and she wasn’t exactly sure if anything she had was up to snuff.

A second opinion would probably help. Thea was out of the question, both because she was not about to ask Oliver’s sister what to wear on a date with him and also because she wouldn’t have a good idea of what Laurel had on hand. Joanna had been on a few shopping trips with her, though, and even talked her into buying a couple of the dresses she now owned. And she’d missed talking to her friend about casual stuff like this.

Laurel set her phone on speaker as she took a couple of items out and laid them on her bed. After two rings, it was picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Jo, it’s me.”

“Hey, how’s everything been going? CNRI coping without me?”

“Just barely,” Laurel answered with a grin. “I’m going out tonight, and I wanted your opinion on what to wear.”

“Well, what kind of going out are we talking here?” Her friend asked. “Clubbing? Drinks with a friend? Dare I even say a date?”

“Believe it or not, it is.”

“What?” Laurel was glad she didn’t have the phone to her ear, because that exclamation would have had her wincing. “Oh my God, the day has come! What kind of date? With who?”

“It’s one of those fancy rich people auctions,” Laurel explained, then braced herself as she added, “and Oliver invited me.”

There was a beat of silence. Then Joanna started.

“Well, well, well.”

Laurel held back a groan. Just barely. “I know.”

“I didn’t say anything yet.”

“Go ahead.”

“I just seem to remember you being very dead set against anything like this happening when Oliver got back — not that anyone would blame you. But seriously, did he at least get down on his knees and beg first?” Joanna asked.

“I know what I said before.” Laurel shook her head. “I can’t really explain it, but he’s just a different person than he was, Joanna. He’s still Oliver, but I know I can trust him now. He gets that life isn’t just some game you can solve with money and good looks, and he really cares about how his actions affect other people. That’s on his mind a lot.” The whole reason he’d taken on the mission of the Hood in the first place was the responsibility he felt to right the wrongs his father committed.

“Well, I guess as long as you’re happy with it, that’s what matters,” her friend said. Laurel didn’t answer that.

Was she happy? She felt better than she had the last few months, knowing the truth and being involved in more than just the sidelines. And everything she’d told Joanna about Oliver was true; she really believed he’d learned from his mistakes and was working every day to be better. She respected that about him and cared for him because of it, even if they weren’t actually dating. And she could admit, if only to herself, she wouldn’t mind if they actually were.

“So, wardrobe advice?”

Laurel blinked. “Uh, yeah. Trying to decide between the red or blue dress. Floor length, the both of them. You know which ones I’m talking about, right?”

“Uh-huh. Well, they’re both good choices for that kind of event. I guess the question is, what kind of mood are you trying to set?”

Laurel wasn’t sure how to put ‘catching an art thief’ into a mood. “Nothing in particular. It’s just a date, Jo.”

“Yeah, but there’s a difference between bold, hooking-up-after-this red and elegant, I’ll-invite-you-up-if-you’re-lucky blue. You know?”

“We’re not hooking up,” Laurel stated. And she wasn’t looking to stand out from the crowd so much as blend in so she could spot the thief that didn’t belong. “Blue it is. Thanks. Let me know if you’re free sometime soon.”

“Oh, I will. I have got to get these details, for one thing. And I’ve missed you a lot,” Joanna added before she could even start to roll her eyes. “I’ll let you get ready for your date. Have fun.”

“I’ll try.” Laurel picked up the blue dress as Joanna hung up and held it in front of a mirror. She wasn’t sure how much fun tonight would be, but it definitely would be interesting.

She’d finished getting ready with five minutes to spare when Oliver sent the text that he was outside. Laurel took the elevator down and found John waiting in front of the car to open the back door for her.

“Miss Lance.”

“Thank you, Mr. Diggle.” She had to bite her lip to hold in a smile. Sometimes playing along with the charade just felt a little ridiculous, and tonight promised to be especially over the top.

Oliver was sitting in the back as she slid inside, and he looked up. There was a brief pause, and he licked his lips before saying, “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you. You cleaned up well, too.” She was glad the lights were low in the car; her face was already feeling a little warm as she looked him up and down in the tux. She was painfully aware of her own words of a few months ago: obviously, we’re still attracted to each other.

Oliver cleared his throat and leaned over as the car started to move, showing Laurel his phone screen. “This is the brooch I’ve donated from my family’s collection. We’ll need to keep our eyes on it and on the lookout for Dodger. Winnick Norton is his actual name, though I doubt he’ll be using it to get into the event.”

“Right.” Laurel studied the photo for a few minutes before passing it back over. “Any reason why he’ll be interested in the brooch and not anything else?”

“Everything he steals comes from the same time period. The Ominous Decade. The brooch will be the only piece from that time at the gala, so it’s the only option he’s got.”

“Well, that’s lucky.”

“We’re coming up to the front, you two,” Digg called into the back. “I’ll drop you off and park, then see if I can get any intel from event security.”

“Sounds good,” Oliver replied. He got out when the car stopped, walking around to her door and opening it for her. As much as she wanted to shake her head at all the formality, she knew the important thing to do was to go along with it and not seem suspicious.

He offered his arm, and she took it, walking up the steps and through the front doors. There were already a few people milling about and admiring the exhibits.

“Mr. Queen.” A woman in a smart pantsuit walked up to them. “Thank you so much for your generous donation. I hope you enjoy the event.”

“Of course, it was my pleasure,” Oliver replied with a quick smile. They moved on and he leaned in close to murmur in her ear, “The important thing is to always have someone’s eyes on the brooch. We don’t want Dodger sending someone to grab it right out from under our noses.”

“Alright, so take turns?”

She felt as much as saw his nod as his chin tickled her hair. Laurel was about to turn to him when she was suddenly blinded by the flash of a camera.

“Oliver Queen and Dinah Laurel Lance! Out for a night together?”

Paparazzi. The absolute worst part of these high society functions. She hadn’t missed them.

“Miss Lance! Does this mean you’ve forgiven Mr. Queen for the events of five years ago?”

“Uh, no comment,” Laurel stammered. She could barely make out any individual faces through the next several camera flashes.

“Mr. Queen!”

“Miss Lance!”

“If you all could back up, please,” John requested, appearing from what seemed thin air and using his bodyguard position to his advantage. A fair few of the paparazzi were inclined to listen to him based on the authority in his voice and look alone.

“Come on,” Oliver muttered in her ear. With one hand at the small of her back, he guided her out into an empty side hall, the heavy doors shutting out the shouts and clicks of cameras.

Laurel drew in and let out a breath.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” She glanced to the side at him. “Just forgot how intense the paparazzi could be at these kind of events.”

“They shouldn’t even get in the door,” Oliver said with a frown. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Oliver. I should be well aware what dating you entails by now.”

He was silent, though she could tell there was a lot on his mind.

“Hey, you need to get back out there, okay? I’ll join you and John in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” Oliver brushed his fingers along her arm briefly, then turned and slipped back through the door to the main room. Laurel swallowed and tried to ignore the goosebumps his touch had left behind on her arm.

Was this just attraction or something more? She could never seem to keep her head straight around Oliver.

But she needed to get a grip. Tonight wasn’t about them. That was just the cover. They had a dangerous man to catch.

Laurel adjusted her grip on the clutch she carried and stepped forward towards the doors—

A gloved hand gripped her forearm and a stick was shoved in her face. Sparks flew from the tip for a brief instant, causing her to jump back, right into the chest of the man threatening her with it.

“Careful there, love. That’s a stun baton. I would hate to have to use it on you.”

“You’re the Dodger,” she breathed.

“You’ve heard of my work? I’m flattered,” the thief said in her ear. She felt him slide something around her neck and click it into place, and her heart rate picked up with a sudden spike of fear. The bomb collar.

“Now then, since you know what I do, I’ll just cut right to the chase. There’s a pretty little brooch on display out in that room that I need you to get for me. You do that and bring it back here without alerting the authorities, and I’ll let you go safe and sound.”

Laurel had to think fast. She couldn’t do as he asked because that would mean losing the brooch and him. How closely would he be watching her out in that room? Could she somehow get Oliver or John’s attention? Or was that putting too many people at risk?

And there was a part of her that was just about fed up with all these attacks on her.

Laurel dropped her clutch so she had one hand free to reach back and grab a fistful of the Dodger’s shirt while knocking his arm that held the stun baton behind. She failed to duck his own swing at her when she spun around, but before he could follow it up Laurel returned it with her own punch to his face.

He dropped the baton with a grunt, and it went rolling out of reach for the both of them. She could either let go of her grip on the Dodger to run for it or—

Laurel tightened her hold on his shirt collar, dragging him closer, and grabbed his arm with her other hand, twisting his wrist so that he let out a sharp gasp of pain. “Get this thing off me.”

“And why would I do that, darling?”

“Because if you don’t, I’m gonna march us right back through those doors for everyone to see.”

Dodger’s eyes narrowed. “If you do that I’ll—”

“What, blow us both up?” Laurel couldn’t help a smirk as she watched the realization sink in. “You don’t like to get your own hands dirty on a job, do you? That’s why you force other people to steal. Well, sometimes the people you want to use know how to fight back.”

“You’re bluffing,” he rasped.

“No, Mr. Norton, you are,” she said. “Which one of us is going to call it?”

They stared at each other for several tense moments, Dodger trying to break her hold and Laurel keeping a firm grasp on his arm. It was her only option at this point; letting the thief go meant her death. If he proved stronger than her, this wasn’t going to end in her favor.

She couldn’t pinpoint how long their confrontation had been going on, just that there was sweat beginning to bead at her brow. But it was long enough that the door to the main hall opened again, and Oliver stuck his head back in.

“Laurel, are you—” He froze.

Dodger struggled harder, and she scraped at his calf with her heel in retaliation. He gave a yelp and then glared.

“Ollie, hey,” Laurel said, forcing her tone to remain light. Whatever Dodger would think of her, they couldn’t afford anyone getting ideas that Oliver had been here to set him up. “Get Mr. Diggle?”

Oliver stood there another moment before turning sharply and indicating to someone back in the main room. Then he came forward and took hold of both Dodger’s wrist and his neck, shoving him up against a wall.

“Oliver!”

“Who are you, and what have you done to Laurel?” It was a wonder he’d even remembered to play ignorant considering he wasn’t bothering to hide his anger in the slightest.

“The better question is what’s she done to me,” Dodger replied. “Unbelievable. A vigilante spoiled my first attempt in Starling and now this. Your police should hang up their caps in shame.”

John came through with some additional security from the event, and he took over holding Dodger in place while the thief was searched. A device turned up that was apparently linked to the collar still around her neck.

“Here, hold still. I handled bombs in Afghanistan,” John said, one hand on her shoulder. He hit one of the buttons and the collar popped loose. Laurel let out a breath as John removed it and passed it over to security.

“I’m not scared. I don’t know why I’m shaking.”

“That’s the adrenaline,” John told her. “It’ll wear off.”

Oliver meanwhile was doing his best impression of an indignant rich person. “I want this man in a cell at the SCPD.”

“Of course, Mr. Queen. We apologize for the ordeal you and your guest were put through.”

Dodger was taken away, and Oliver immediately turned around to face her now that it was the three of them. “What happened?”

“I was about to head back out to you and Digg, but Dodger grabbed me from behind. He must have been looking for people on their own to use as his proxy.” Laurel shrugged. “I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction.”

“You’re okay?”

“Yeah. He threatened me, mostly, but I wasn’t hurt much.” Her side where he’d struck it was a little sore, but nothing felt broken or anything serious.

Oliver stepped forward and cupped her face with both hands. For a single moment, Laurel thought — but he pressed a kiss to the top of her head instead. She couldn’t help a slight feeling of disappointment she did her best to hide.

The murmur in the main room was getting loud enough to be noticed, and in the distance the wail of a police siren was getting louder. Laurel sighed, not at all in the mood to stand around answering questions or giving a statement while the paparazzi no doubt hovered around taking pictures.

“What’s the betting it’s my dad?”

“Could be McKenna Hall. She was at the scene when I went after Dodger the first time. But they can wait. You two head out the back, and I’ll talk to the organizers and the cops.” Oliver made to leave, but paused and looked to Digg. “Stay with her.”

“You got it.”

As much as she didn’t want to be coddled, she was also glad for the excuse to get out of there, so Laurel followed after Digg to the lot where he’d parked. It felt weird to get in the back when she was the only other person in the car, but Oliver would be rejoining them at some point.

“So, not exactly a night on the town,” she remarked.

“No. Never is when it comes to Oliver. But now we can focus on getting the truth about Malcolm Merlyn, so I’d say this worked out for the best.”

Malcolm Merlyn. On one hand, if it was true that meant they were that much closer to stopping things. On the other, her heart felt heavy whenever she considered the idea that Tommy’s dad might be involved. What would that do to their friend?

“Sort of makes you grateful to the Dodger for the distraction,” she muttered.

“Maybe so. But Laurel—”

She looked up. Her friend and trainer gave her an approving nod.

“Nice job.”

She smiled back at him. “Thanks, John.”

—-

“We’re really making a habit of this,” McKenna remarked as she walked up to him.

Oliver tote his gaze from where Dodger was being led to a squad car by a cop and shook his head. “I kept my nose clean this time. Just here to represent my family.”

“So how come you’re the one being questioned?”

“Norton tried to attack my date, and I said I’d answer the questions for her for the moment. She promises to come down to the station tomorrow for a more complete statement, but I had my bodyguard take her to the car to avoid the cameras.”

“Ah.” McKenna gave a single nod. “I will need your date’s name now, though. Has to go in the file.”

It was definitely fortunate she was primarily working this case as opposed to Lance. Oliver still briefly cleared his throat before replying, “Dinah Laurel Lance.”

McKenna looked up instead of writing, both eyebrows raised. “Well, that’s a turn up for the books. Sorry, not professional.”

“That’s okay. We knew people would find it a little surprising.”

“Alright. I know Laurel’s good for showing up to the station, so I’ll let you get back to her. I hope she’s okay.”

“I’ll tell her you said so.” Oliver turned and started to walk towards the exit, but McKenna calling out to him brought him to a stop.

“Hey, Oliver!”

He turned back.

“I’d appreciate if you continued to keep your nose clean, if you catch my drift. Or me and the others in the bullpen are never gonna hear the end of it.” She cracked a wry grin as she said it. “Sorry.”

“I deserved it. And I promise you’ve got nothing to worry about.” He was able to leave after that for the car and got into the back. “We got lucky.”

“McKenna?” Laurel asked, and he nodded. She relaxed back against the seat. “Good.”

“He’ll probably be finding out soon,” Oliver felt he had to point out. He wasn’t insulted that Laurel seemed keen to prolong that moment; the last thing he really wanted was Lance even more on his case.

But there was something on his mind that was troubling him. “You fought Dodger.”

“Yeah. Well, I knew if I went along with what he wanted, we’d lose him.” She wasn’t looking at him. Instead her gaze was on her hands where they played with the clasp on her clutch. “The thing is, I’ve sort of been, um—”

“I offered to give her some pointers on keeping safe,” Digg interrupted. “She’s got defensive basics down. We’ve just been going over technique.”

“Uh-huh.” Oliver highly doubted it had actually been John to make the offer. More likely, Laurel had asked and he had agreed. He looked at her. “We talked about you staying safe.”

She was eyeing him with that familiar stubborn light in her eyes. “Well, sometimes fighting back is how you stay safe.”

“But sometimes that can end badly. I am grateful that didn’t happen tonight, but the people I go up against are dangerous, Laurel. They don’t fight fair, and there are times when I nearly haven’t won. And times when I haven’t.”

“I know that. And I never said I wanted to take on the Dark Archer in hand-to-hand, but I want to be useful to the team,” she insisted. “And that starts with me not being helpless.”

“I never said you were, but Laurel, I need you to be safe.”

“You’ve said.”

He shook his head. “You don’t understand. If something happened to you out there because I got you involved in this mission, I couldn’t live with myself.”

It was silent in the car for a long moment. Laurel’s lips were parted slightly, and she couldn’t seem to find the words for a moment. “Ollie…”

“Laurel, we’re at your building.”

“Okay. Thanks, John.” She reached for the handle and glanced once back his way. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” he echoed softly as she left the car. He watched as she walked up to her building and disappeared through the doors with a swish of the skirt of her dress. Maybe it had been too much to hope for a lovely evening, but even when she was walking away from him she was beautiful.

Diggle’s voice called him back to reality.

“Man, you really lost your smooth moves on that island.”

Oliver sighed. “Home, John.”

When he did step through the doors of the mansion, he walked into something of an ambush. Thea popped out of the sitting room and gave a sigh of relief at the sight of him. Then she called back over her shoulder, “He’s home, mom!”

“Speedy, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, well you tell us. You’re the one who went to a gala where that bomber guy showed up.”

Right. He walked up to her as their mom was standing up from the couch and shutting off the news.

“I’m fine, promise.”

“What were you even doing there anyway?”

“I was on a date with Laurel,” he answered his sister. “Which you will probably see covered in the next tabloid issues. So don’t read those.”

“Laurel?” His mom repeated. “You’re seeing her?”

“Yeah.” He watched her for a moment. She seemed almost alarmed. “Is that okay?”

His mother recovered her usual grace with that question. “Of course it is. I’m just surprised, I suppose. Pleasantly.”

“Yeah, he really lucked out on that one,” Thea remarked.

He looked at her. “Don’t you need to be in bed so you can be well-rested for school?”

Thea rolled her eyes and made off for the stairs. “Night.”

He and their mom both replied in kind, and then Oliver turned back to her. “I’m sorry for worrying you or Thea. I promise everything was fine tonight. We were in more danger from the paparazzi than a bomber.”

“They can certainly be as ruthless as one,” she agreed.

He nodded and started to make his own way to the stairs.

“Oliver?”

He backed up until the sitting room was in view again. “Yeah, mom?”

His mother walked up to him, her hands clasped together. “Perhaps, in light of all the attention from the press, it might be best for you and Laurel to take some time away from Starling. There’s the beach house in Coast City. I’m sure some staff could have it ready within a week.”

“Not exactly beach season yet, mom.”

“No, maybe not on the West Coast,” she agreed. “There’s always some of the other vacation properties.”

Oliver stared at her for a moment. If he didn’t know better, he’d think she wanted him out of the city for another reason. And maybe he did know better. But whatever his mother was mixed up in — whether it involved Malcolm Merlyn or not — couldn’t involve getting him out of the way. At least, not when she didn’t know his identity.

“I’ll think about it,” he told her. It was an empty promise, but hopefully it would put her at ease for the time being. “Maybe once the club is up and running.”

“Alright.” She placed a hand to his cheek and smiled. “It’s good to see you happy again. I really am proud of you, sweetheart.”

In spite of everything he did and didn’t know about her, he couldn’t help himself feeling touched by the praise. “Thanks, mom.”

“I just want you to stay safe.”

“I try to,” he lied. His mother couldn’t know, of course, that there were reasons he had to take risks out there if he was going to save this city.

It took him a while to reach sleep once he had gotten into bed. He was tired, but there was still so much on his mind.

His mother wanted him to be safe while she engaged in who knew what; in turn, he wanted Laurel to be safe while going out there and risking his life most every night. Was he too much his mother’s son? Was it hypocritical of him? How did he balance his care for Laurel with respecting her decisions?

Oliver rolled onto his side and reached for his wallet. He took out the old picture that still sat there, his thumb smoothing over one of the folded corners. For five years, Laurel and her life and safety had kept him going through the worst tortures. But now that he was back, maybe it was time to stop imagining her or what she might say. Maybe it was time to listen to the actual person.

—-

“Detective, you got a minute?”

Quentin looked up from his desk at Hall’s approach. She was a good cop, even as new as she was. He’d been considering bringing her onto the task force for some time now. “Yeah, what can I do for you?”

“Nothing, really. Just wanted to give you a heads up. We brought in the Dodger.”

“I heard. Good work on that.”

She smiled briefly, but shook her head. “Can’t take too much credit. Private security at the gala detained him after an altercation with one of the guests.” She paused. “That guest was your daughter.”

Quentin’s mouth dropped open. “Laurel? What was she doing at one of those things?” She hadn’t been anywhere near that high society nonsense, not since—

“She was there on invitation. And she’ll be coming in to fill out a witness report for me tomorrow. Just thought I’d let you know.”

Hall left for her desk before he could demand any further information. But he had a rotten feeling in his gut, and it started with a Q.

He made sure he was in the bullpen bright and early the next morning, not wanting to miss Laurel’s arrival. Quentin hadn’t had a real chance to talk to her since their fight about the Hood’s phone, and that had been eating at him. So had Merlyn’s information about her sniffing around something to do with the Triad. And now with this, well, the silent treatment was out the window. Clearly if he didn’t keep a close watch on things, his daughter tended to lose her head.

Laurel showed up around 10:30, easily navigating her way through the station. Hall had gone for coffee,

Which left Laurel standing in the bullpen looking for the right desk. There was his opening.

“Hey, honey.”

“Dad.” Laurel’s expression was guarded at best. He might have felt guilty about that, but more likely she was feeling guilty. “I’m actually hear to see McKenna about a witness report.”

“Yeah, I heard. You were at that fancy auction last night. And how might you have come by an invite to that?”

Her voice was flat as she responded, “Dad, don’t do this here.”

“Do what? Catch up with my daughter? See if she’s doing okay? Ask her why in God’s name she’s decided to spit on her sister’s memory and go back to that cheating—”

“Yeah, that. That exactly,” Laurel cut him off just as his voice was starting to raise. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that Oliver is a changed person. I don’t know how much more evidence you need put in front of your own eyes, but he is. And I know that doesn’t bring Sara back, but I also know it was never his intention for her to die out there. So you can stop acting like it was.”

“Why are you wasting your time on him? Defending him? Just answer me that,” he said. “You’re always involving yourself with the wrong people. I just don’t know what I did for you to grow up that way.”

Laurel scoffed, her arms folded.

“Well, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Laurel, hey.” Hall had just entered the bullpen with her mug. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“That’s okay,” his daughter replied, turning away from him completely. “I probably would have been held up regardless.”

She joined Hall at her desk, and they were both talking too quietly for him to pick up anything of use. With a scowl, Quentin returned to his own seat.

Laurel left the station without a goodbye, not that he was inclined to give his own. Hall got up without the file and left the room. Quentin glanced around. Hilton hadn’t come in yet, and no one else was going to call him on it.

He got up from his desk with some papers in hand and crossed the bullpen to Hall’s desk. Laurel’s witness report was still sitting right on top. He flipped through the testimony, his eyes widening as he read.

She’d fought off that thieving maniac? With a bomb collar strapped around her neck? What was going on in this city? And where the hell had Queen been?

Quentin had to hurry back to his desk at the sound of Hall’s approach, but his mind was buzzing. Laurel could have died last night. He could have lost his only daughter, all because of some date she’d been on with Queen. That rich idiot didn’t know when to quit.

He took off from his shift a little early and headed down to the bar. It was that kind of day. Quentin sat there, shoulders hunched as he nursed one, and then two, and then three drinks.

Trouble followed that man wherever he went. Less than two days after he’d come back, he’d been kidnapped. Then there’d been the hit at that party he’d held while under house arrest. Now this. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say it was a pattern.

Actually, there’d been something else. He’d been there, too, that first night someone had tried breaking in to Laurel’s apartment. The Triad.

That had seemed open and shut. Martin Sommers had been working with them, and Laurel had been in the midst of prosecuting him. But then strange how Queen had just happened to be there.

And then again, when he’d first gotten worried, when he’d found out she had a client with Bratva ties — she’d been handling Queen’s case. She’d told him when he begged her to leave the Bratva alone that she didn’t have that client anymore...just after he’d dropped the charges on Queen.

Laurel wasn’t an idiot. If she really was seeing Queen, something about him had to be different than when he’d left on that boat. But that something didn’t have to be good. Laurel was just as bad as he was about attracting trouble. Quentin just couldn’t let go of the idea that there was some kind of connection between these seemingly disparate events.

Was he drunk? Was he crazy? Seeing something that wasn’t there?

Quentin put down some money for his tab and stumbled off the stool. He had to get this down in writing. Start drumming up some leads.

As he left the bar, he got a whiff of himself. It was pretty obvious where he’d been. He couldn’t go to the station like this.

Lance staggered home, his intent to shower and then to get to work on this clear in his mind. But by the time he cleared the front steps it was all he could do to make it to the couch.

Tomorrow. He would start tomorrow.

#lauriver #laurel x oliver #laurel lance #oliver queen #arrow #john diggle #thea queen #moira queen #quentin lance #mckenna hall #black canary #green arrow #joanna de la vega #my writing

[sorenmarie87]

May they come back unscathed

Summary:  When a coven kidnaps Y/N’s mom, Sam and Dean step in. 

Square Filled: Case Fic (Kink Bingo)

Pairing(s)/Character(s): Jo x Reader / Dean, Sam, Ellen, Ash, Estelle (OFC), Rue (OFC), and the members of the cover (OFC) 

Word Count: 5,155

Warning(s): Case violence, Kidnapping, Angry Dean, Secrets, Language, Sexy times in a hot tub 

A/N:  This was written for @spnkinkbingo.

I do not own any of the pictures used in my story aesthetic. I also hate to say this but if you’re reading this fic - please be over 18.  

Shout out to the lovely @fictionalabyss for reading this over as I wrote it.  I wouldn’t have completed it without her help <33333

And then there were three Masterlist

Forever Tags - @lovetusk @coffee-obsessed-writer@mirajanefairytailmage@kazosa@soythedemonqueen@docharleythegeekqueen@holyfuckloueh@ellen-reincarnated1967@ravenangel33@buckyscrystalqueen@clockworkmorningglory@lefthologramdeer@disneymarina@ilovetaquitosmmmm@babykalika2001

Six months.

That’s how long the two of you had been trying.  

Six months had turned into a year and you were close to giving up.  Each time you saw that the tests were negative, it chipped away at you inside.

“Y/N, maybe we should stop trying for a while.  I’m not saying we stop altogether, just for now.  I hate what it’s doing to you…”

“That might be for the best.”  You whispered as Jo pulled you closer and you kissed her forehead.  “I’ll go talk to my mom and see if she has any advice.”

“Maybe she could do a card reading for you.”

“What if,” you paused and flipped over so that you were looking into her eyes.  “What if it’s bad news?”

“Then we’ll deal with it.”

--

Estelle had jolted awake after having one hell of a nightmare.  Rue was sleeping peacefully next to her, so she got up from the bed as quietly as she could and made her way downstairs.  Wiping away the sleep from her eyes as she walked, she made her way towards the den.  She knew that in a couple of hours, she would be making her way to the shop to restock some of the crystals and herbs that always sold out.  Estelle couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to happen though.  

She was fidgeting with her engagement ring as she made her way to the shop.  Rue told her wear it this morning and to pack one of the tourmaline crystals in her purse just in case.  Her walking slowed as she spotted a ‘73 Cadillac Fleetwood parked across the street.  Estelle cursed as she got closer to see the door was ajar and the store looked like it had been ransacked.  

“Avis, I think I hear someone out front.”

“Delta, you know what to do.”  Delta grinned as she opened a bottle on her hip and poured some of the powder into her gloved hand.  Elsie watched the small panel of tv’s set up to monitor security and when Estelle made her way down the hall, Delta got into place.  She heard Elsie whisper now when she heard the door open, and Delta held her hand steady and blew the powder into the air.  

“What’s going on?”  Those were the last words that came out of her mouth before Estelle blacked out.  Avis pulled the mask down from her face and motioned to Elsie to pick up Estelle off of the floor.  

“All right ladies, let’s go home.  We have work to do.”  

--

The next morning as you were making breakfast, you dialed your mom’s number and pressed the green button.  It rang and rang until her voicemail picked up.  You left a brief message, and went back to finishing breakfast.  A few hours passed and you still hadn’t heard from her.  You called again with the same results.  You took a deep breath before dialing the shop’s number.  “Come on Rue, please pick up…”

“Seven Wonders, this is Rue, how may I help you?”

“Oh bless you for picking up.  Rue, it’s Y/N.  I was wondering if you’ve heard from mom today…  I’ve called her a few times and she isn’t picking up.”

“You know, now that I think about it, she left earlier than usual this morning.  I’ll try calling home and see if she picks up.  Give me a second, sweetie.”  You didn’t hear Jo walk into the room and ask you what was wrong.  “Y/N, You still there?  She’s not there.”

“Do you think….”

“Don’t you think the worst baby girl, we’ll find her.  Call Ellen, and see if she’s been at Harvelle’s.  I’ll call around and see if anyone has seen her.  I’ll meet up with you later, okay?”

“Thanks Rue, I’ll see you later.  Love you.”

“Love you too.”  You placed your cell on the kitchen counter as Jo wrapped her arms around your shoulders.  “Will you, call your mom for me?”  

“Of course, is something wrong?”

“I hope not.”

You watched Jo pull up the contacts on your phone, and when her finger was hovering over Ellen’s name, you went outside to sit on the porch swing.  It wasn’t like your mom to disappear like this.  You heard the screen door open and shut as Jo made her way towards you.  You looked up and she shook her head.  “I’m glad you’re sitting down for this…”

“Why, what’s going on?  Was she there?”  You felt your heart pounding in your chest as Jo took a seat next you and laced her fingers with yours.  

“Mom hasn’t seen her all day - “  You buried your face in the curve of Jo’s neck and tried to hold back your tears.  “Don’t you worry, okay?  We’ll find her.  I asked for Ash’s help too.”  Jo kissed the top of your head and waited for you to calm down before they walked over to the bar.  

Jo led you to an empty booth and rubbed your back gently before making her way across the bar.  You slumped forward and ran your hands through your hair, staring down at the table.   After sometime you shifted so that your chin was resting in your hand and you sighed.  

“Do you know if Ash has found anything yet?”

“Probably not, I mean he’s still in his room.  He’ll be out when he finds something, you know that.”  

You missed the way Jo’s face lit up when she noticed the boys were sitting at the bar.  The four of them were talking about anything and everything.  Ellen chided both of them, telling the two of them not to be strangers and to check in more often.  Sam chuckled as Dean turned around on the bar stool and looked in your general direction.  “Jo, what’s up with your girlfriend?”  

“Oh, um…”  Jo glanced at her mom, unsure of what to do.  

“Estelle, Y/N’s mom is missing.”  She heard Rue’s voice coming from the door and smiled as she walked over and gave her a hug.  “I didn’t want to tell Y/N this over the phone but when I came in, the shop was a disaster.  It looks like someone broke in but nothing from the store was missing…”

“Nothing except her mom that is.”

“Wait, you guys have security cameras at your shop don’t you?”  

“Oh!”  You looked over at the small group talking and frowned when you saw Rue.  She gently smiled as you got out of the boothe and made your way over to them.  She pulled you in for a hug.  “I can’t believe I forgot about the security cameras… Estelle, she’s better with technology than I am.”

“Sammy, why don’t you go and help Rue out.  See if anything shows up on those security tapes and if anything weird nabbed her mom.”  The two of them made their way out of the bar and Jo took Rue’s place beside you.  

“Dean, if you agree to help us, there’s something you have to know.”  Your voice was low but you needed him to know this.  “My mom, she’s a white witch.  I’ve heard from Jo that you hate witches but my mom would never do anything to harm anyone.”

“Estelle is good people.”  You heard Ash’s voice coming from behind you.  Dean sighed and you heard him grumbling about witches.  

“She can’t be that bad of a person if she raised you to be an all right person.”  

“Just alright?”  Jo smacked his arm and glared at him before he turned to look back at you.  

“I’m a fantastic person, you just have to get to know me better.”  For the first time all day, you grinned and winked at Dean who was speechless.  Jo released you with a chuckle as Ash handed you a bottle of water from behind the bar.  Jo was relieved that you were doing better but she knew that you wouldn’t be at 100 percent until your mom was found.  

Dean’s phone started ringing and when he pulled it out of his pocket and saw Sam’s name pop up, he answered it and put it on speaker before placing it down on the bar.  “What’d you find out?”

“Something nabbed her all right but get this - they used knockout powder before they took her.”

“Why would they want to knock her out?”

“They didn’t want her to know where they were taking her.”

“Did you get a good look at who took her?”  

“That’s the thing, it wasn’t just one person or at least that’s what Rue was telling me.”  

“How -”  You stopped yourself before answering.  It wasn’t your place to tell them what powers Rue had.  

“Y/N, do the names Avis, Delta and Elsie mean anything to you?”  You shook your head as you glanced over at Dean and Jo.  

“She says no…”  You heard Ash furiously typing away on his laptop behind you.  “If you wait a few minutes however, I think Ash is looking up something..”

“Okay amigos, I might’ve found something.  I did some digging into those names you mentioned and found out that it was a  coven that kidnapped Y/N's mom.  It seems like they were big into illegal activities.  Onenote to mention - they used to throw huge parties that would put Jay Gatsby to shame.  We're talking parties that ultimately ended up as orgies."  

Ash turned his laptop around so you could read more.  “The leader of the coven, Avis specializes in what they call sex magic.”

“Wait you mentioned Gatsby, when was this coven originally founded?”

“It says here 1926.”

“It doesn’t explain why they took Estelle though.”  Jo gently squeezed your hand in reassurance.  “We’re closer to finding her.”  

“I know, I’m just worried.”

“Sweetie, your mom, even though she upholds the ‘do no harm.’ aspect of being a white witch, she is a fighter.”  

“Were you able to find where the coven is based now or where they took her?”  

“You wanna tell her Ash or should I?”

“Tell me what, exactly?”  

“The last time I got a ping from her cell was around Grand Island.”

“Thanks Ash.. hey Dean, take me off speaker will you?”  You watched Dean pick up his cell phone from the bar and walk outside before clicking the speaker button off.  “Are we helping out?”  

“If I said this wasn’t our problem, I’m pretty sure Ellen would put a boot up my ass.”  Sam chuckled but he knew Dean was right.  

“I’ll head back to the bar.  Rue said she was going to stay here and clean up.”  

“I don’t like that she’ll be by herself…”

“Oh don’t you worry about me, sugar.  I can take care of myself, just please do whatever you can to find Estelle.  She’s all that girl has left.”  Rue smiled sadly as she handed Sam back the phone.  

It took Sam fifteen minutes to make it back to Harvelle’s.  He slid a piece of paper with a license plate number on it and asked if Ash could look it up for him.  

“No problemo.  Just give me a few minutes…”  

“I guess it’s better that 51 hours like last time.”  

“You can’t rush genius..”  You snorted out a laugh as you watched Ash work.  Whenever you didn’t find Ash sprawled out on the pool table or in back with a lady for the evening, he would teach you everything he knew about computers.  

“Hey Ash?”  He mumbled something of a reply and you chuckled to yourself.  “Do you by chance think, that the license plate number Sam gave you is from the car they used to take my mom?”

He stopped typing and looked over at you.  “If he got it off those security tapes, I have no doubt.  Y/N?  They’ll find her.”  You squeezed his forearm as Ellen called for you.

--

Kitchen duty.  That’s what Ellen stuck you with.  You could hear them talking in hushed voices about what the plan was to get Estelle back.  It wasn’t fair that they were trying to bench you, it was your mom that needed rescued.  You took your hands out of the soapy water, and rinsed them off intending to go back into the main area of the bar and give them a piece of your mind but Jo’s voice rang out and she sounded pissed.

“It’s not fair to exclude Y/N from the hunt.”

“Jo, there’s a difference between knowing how to hunt and actually knowing.  You know that.  She always stays back with Ash..”  

“It’s her mom though!  HAVEN'T YOU EVER LOST SOMEONE AND HAD TO DO WHATEVER IT TOOK TO FIND THEM!?"

“Joanna Beth!”

“You know what, I can’t be in here right now.”  Jo stormed towards the kitchen and when she saw you standing near the door, she paused.  You pulled her in for a hug with a small smile forming on your face.  “Pretty sure I just benched myself from this hunt.”  

“Babe?  Fuck him, Dean’s not the boss of you..”

“What about my mom?”  

“You’ll always be her baby and one day she’ll understand.  I can’t just sit here and not do anything while everyone else is out risking their life for my mom…”  You pulled back with a sigh.  “Okay so what do we need?”

--

The two of you talked it over before leaving a note for Ash.  You made sure to plan everything and on a three hour drive - you had time to hammer out the final details.  It turns out that there are two different motels on the same block, and you glanced over across the street while you were stopped at a red light.  “Shit, Jo, we may have a problem.  Impala ten o'clock.”

“I don’t see them, so we’ll be fine.  Now turn right up ahead… “  

“So bossy.”  You muttered and pressed on the gas.  Jo smirked as she moved over a little and placed her hand on your thigh.  “Not now Joanna.”

“Oh you mean business if you went full name.  I’ll be good.”  Jo winked as you pulled into the parking lot.  “Siesta Key Suites really?”  

“Would you rather stay across the street where Sam and Dean can find us?  You know what would happen then - Ellen would be here faster than you can REO Speedwagon and she’d rip us both a new one…”  

“I’ll go check us in, okay?”  Jo kissed your cheek gently and you watched her walk away.  You opened the passenger door and pulled out the bags you packed for this trip.  You were closing the car door when Jo came back with a set of keys.  “We’re in room 4… and guess what, this place has a hot tub.  I hope you packed a bathing suit.”

“Jo, I love you, but you know damn well I didn't.  Could you stop thinking with your hypothetical dick for a second?  We’re not supposed to be calling attention to ourselves…”

“Just one little late night dip in the hot tub, please babe?”

Jo reached for your hand and the two of you walked towards the room you would be sharing. “Fine.”

--

You were listening to a playlist on one of the laptops Ash formatted for you as you picked at your food and you could see Jo moving along to the beat.  “Babe… bring your phone and the portable speaker, I know it’s packed down in the bag.”  You peered over your laptop as Jo danced around the room.  “Babeeeee you promised!”  

You forced yourself to pause the music you were listening to and sat the laptop off to the side.  Unzipping the bag, you pulled out a small ball shaped speaker that plugged into your phone.  You screeched when Jo picked you up and slung you over her shoulders.  She carefully opened the room door, making sure the room key was in her pocket.  “Jo, put me down!!!”

“Nope!”

“Jo, please?”

“Uh-uh, not until we reach that hot tub.”  

You huffed and looked down.  “Joke’s on you, I have the best view right now.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Jo, please.  Your ass is amazing, ask anyone.  Hell ask Dean, I’m sure he’d tell you the same thing.”

“You’re just saying that.”  You couldn’t see her face but you knew a light blush was forming on her cheeks.  

“As a person with no ass to speak of, yeah girl that booty is banging.”

“If I pay you, will you never say it like that again?”

“How much are we talking?”  The both of you laughed as you reached the area outside where the hot tub was located.  Jo placed you on your feet as you looked around.  “Okay this area is well lit and no one can sneak up on us, so we’re good.  Now I just need a ledge or something to prop my phone up on…”  

“Just put it down anywhere!”  Jo called out behind you, what you missed when were searching for the perfect spot was Jo stripping down to her bra and underwear.  You finally had a playlist pulled up and was just about to press play when Jo swept you off your feet and dropped you into the hot tub.

“Jo!  What the hell…”  She shrugged and chuckled darkly to herself.  “I think, you might be a little more comfy if you removed some of those wet clothes.”  She tugged at your wet shirt and you raised your arms.  Why bother resisting now?  You popped the button to your jeans and unzipped your pants slowly, as she watched.  “You know how earlier you were saying that you had the best view?”

She slowly moved towards you and unhooked your bra, throwing it on to the pavement.  You shuddered at the cool air.  “Yes?”

“I think.”  She nipped at your collarbone softly and you groaned.  “that the view I have right now, is one hundred times better.”  Jo lightly kissed up your neck and down your jawline until her lips found yours.  She placed your hands on her waist before switching sides and one of her hands caressed your cheek gently.  The two of you swayed to the music playing in the background and you rubbed small circles on her lower back, before moving your hand lower and grabbing a handful of her ass.  You felt her swat at your hand and you giggled, repeating the action on the other side.  Jo’s familiar scent of vanilla and whisky invaded your nostrils as she kissed your shoulder.  You were about to pull her in closer when a set of headlights illuminated the small area and Jo quickly pulled you underwater.  A couples minutes went by as the two of you popped up.

"Jo.. I love being that close to your pussy, you know I do, but why'd you shove me under water?" "Didn't want them to see us. And one of us had to watch-" "Honey. They'd recognize you faster than they would me.”  

--

"Hey, was that.. couldn't be, could it?" "What Sammy?" "I thought I saw Jo in that motel hot tub." "Better FUCKING not be." Dean pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Ellen’s number.  After a few rings, she picked up.. "Your fucking daughter better be where you left her."

“Don’t you take that tone with me boy, I’m not your mother but I will beat your ass.”

--

Jo was in the shower when you heard someone knock on the door.  Taking a deep breath, you dug through Jo’s bag, and grabbed her gun.  You placed it on the door before peeking out.  “Shit, shit, shit…”  You carefully unlocked the door and opened it.  

“What in the hell do you two think you’re doing here?”  

“Going after the witches that took my mom, what else would we be doing?”  You watched Dean’s face and flinched when the two of them stepped inside and slammed the door.

“Jo, I can understand.  She’s trained but you?  What use are you - if anything you’re dead weight.”

“Thanks for the reminder asshole.”  You clenched your fist and glared at him.  “What’s this really about Dean?”  You watched his face for a second before it dawned on you.  “Okay, really?   You’re jealous at a time like this… are you fucking kidding me?”

“Dean, really?”

“Shut up Sammy, this has nothing to do with you.”  You scoffed as your hand relaxed slightly.  “I don’t understand how she ended up falling in love with a witches daughter.”

“How we ended up together is none of your business.  Jo’s happiness is what should matter right?  Or what, you just want her for yourself, is that it?”  Dean shifted slightly and your eyes followed him.  “You’re unbelievable, you know that.  You can hate me all you want, Winchester.  I don’t need you to vocalize that - I can feel it.  I’m going to say this once - that girl in there means the world to me and I’ll be damned if I let some small dicked asshole try and tear us apart.  I love her and if you were her friend, like you claim to be, you’d support her decision.”  You needed to leave before you did something you regretted.  You were making your way towards the door when you heard the bathroom door open and Jo was standing in the doorway.  

“What the fuck?”

“I’ll be outside babe, I need a few minutes.”  The door opened quietly and you stepped outside.  

There was a lot of things running through your mind but most of them involved taking a baseball bat to Dean’s face.  You were half way down from your room when it hit you - how did you know what Dean was feeling?  The one person you could ask wasn’t there.  “Mom, what the hell is going on with me?”  

When Jo eventually came outside to talk to you, she found you singing Can’t Fight This Feeling softly.  “Here I thought Kevin Cronin sung it from the heart.”  

“He’s one of many.  I take it he’s still pissed off?”

“More so since I walked out to find you.”  You chuckled as she wrapped her arms your shoulders and pulled you closer.  “I love you, you know that right?”

“I know but why do I sense a but there?”

“I’m not going to lie and say that there aren’t feelings there for Dean.”

“Oh sweetheart, I knew that when you first introduced him to me.  I just -”  You bit your lower lip.  “Jo, I could feel how he felt.”

“How - I didn’t think you had any powers.”

“I - I have no idea.”  Your head hung down as you looked at the sidewalk.  

“Babe, we can ask your mom when we find her.”  You and Jo looked over as Dean’s head poked out of the door.

“Get back inside, now.”  

“...does he mean both of us?”

“YES, INSIDE NOW!”

The only sound coming from your hotel room was coming from the heater kicking on.  No one said a word.  You heard Sam clear his throat and you looked over your shoulder at him.  “I’m going to go for a food run.  Y/N, you wanna go with?”  

Dean snorted and you felt your fist clench up again.  “Yeah, of course.  Jo, do you want anything?”

“You know what I like.”  You kissed her cheek and pulled away with a smirk.  Your good mood didn’t last long though.  Dean muttered something under his breath and you swung, punching him in the face.

“Y/N, come on.”  Sam tried to stifle a laugh. He knew it would only earn him a crossed look from Dean, but it erupted anyway. It was the kind of laugh that shook his whole body, throw his head back, a deep chuckle roaring from his chest, relishing in his brother's misery  

Sam’s laughing died down once the two of you entered your car.  He held his hand out for the keys and you willing handed them over.  “I’m not entirely sure I should be behind the wheel of a car right now.”  

“I know you probably don’t want to hear this,”  Sam backed out of the parking lot and pulled into oncoming traffic.  “But I can understand why Dean is so pissed.”  

“Could you explain it to me?  I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything - I just can’t understand.”

"Dean doesn't want to have to watch Jo watch you die. Or what if she steps in front of a curse for you? And he's left watching his friend die." "For some bitch witch?" "No. Just in general. Dean's been doing this his whole life. He's watched so many capable people die doing what we do. People he cared for. He doesn't want to go through that again. He can't stop Jo, but he had hoped to stop you."

You sighed to yourself as Sam pulled into the diner parking lot.  The car shut off and you felt Sam nudge your shoulder with a smile.  He held the door open for you and even gave the waitress your order.  Sam heard you humming along with the music, so when a root beer float was placed in front of you, Sam watched a smile form on your face.  

“Oh wow, it’s been forever since I’ve had one of these!”  You took a sip from your straw and looked over at Sam.  “Hey Sam, can I ask something weird?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Can you maybe, only if you want to that is, can you hug me?”  Sam opened his arms and pulled you closer to him.  He moved your drink closer and you laid your head on his chest.

“That wasn’t so weird.  I mean look at who my brother is.  The weird ass questions I get from him sometimes…”  Sam shakes his head and you chuckled

 You thanked the waitress when she returned with your order and asked if it was possible to put the rest of your float in a to-go cup.  “Of course, just give me one second.”  She returned and when she handed you the cup, you pulled out a twenty dollar bill and pressed it into her hands.  The drive back to the motel was too short in your opinion but it had to happen.

“Babe!  Look~ Sam got me a rootbeer float!”  

Jo grinned as Sam made his way into the room.  "You tryna steal my woman, Winchester?"

“I would never.”

--

Estelle woke up confused.  She tried wiggling free but her arms and legs were bound to the chair she was sitting in.  Once her eyes focused, she surveyed the room around her.  “This is way too nice to be a dungeon.”  The door slowly opened as Elsie entered with a grin on her face that made Estelle shudder.  

“Oh don’t look so unhappy, this won’t hurt.”  Elsie twirled a carving knife in her hands.  “I was told not to harm that pretty face of yours - Avis’s orders and all.  The question now is where do I start?”

--

Ash called you in the morning with everything he found out.  You passed the message on to Sam because Dean wasn’t speaking to you.  After the boys went back to their hotel room, you had a long talk with Jo.  It was hard but you decided that when they finally went after Avis and her coven,  you would stay back.  Jo agreed that once you got back to Harvelle’s she would teach you how to protect yourself.  

“Come back to me in one piece, okay?”  The two of you shared a slow, sweet kiss before she pulled away.  

“You know I will.”  She made her way to the Impala and took the seat behind Dean.  He gave you a small nod before he pulled out of the parking lot.  

“Spirits, watch over and protect those three.  May no harm come to them and may they come back unscathed.”  You closed the door quietly with a sigh.  You spotted your laptop, and pulled up Netflix.  You were about to click on something of interest when you heard a knock on the door.  The knocking repeated until you opened the door.  The last thing you remember was someone blowing a light pink powder into your face and you calling out for Jo.  

--

“Y/N?  Y/N, sweetpea, wake up..”  

“Mom?”  You felt like someone knocked you out with a truck with groggy you felt.  “Where… where the hell are we?”

Once your eyes focused, you looked around the room but when you glanced over at your mom, you gasped.  “Baby, I know you’re worried, and trust me these aren’t as bad as they look.”

“What a shame, Elsie was so proud of her work after your little session.”  Avis was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.  “I guess she’ll have someone new to practice on, won’t she?”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”  You heard her heels clack on the floor as she approached your mom and pressed a finger into one of her open wounds.  You heard her scream out in pain as a grin formed on Avis’s face.  You watched as she slowly removed her index finger and stared at the blood.

“Our blood is the same color but yet we’re not that same.  I’d rather get rid of the hunters who exist to exterminate us but yet you choose to willing help them.”  You watched as she flicked her hand and a speck of blood landed on the wall.  “I’ll be sure to give our newest guests your love, ta for now darlings.”  Avis sauntered out of the door and you heard the lock click.  

--

Jo was sitting in the backseat reloading all of their guns with witch killing bullets.  

Dean glanced at her through the rear view mirror when he heard her cock one of the guns.  He raised an eyebrow as Jo grinned back at him.  “I would’ve never thought of witch killing bullets.  These are amazing, Sam.”

“Dean, you might want to kill the engine.”

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Sammy.  I know how this works.”  He parked at the end of the gravel driveway and the three of them made their way towards the house.  Dean motioned for them to stop when another car pulled up and Delta carried you into the house.  

“Was that…”

“I THOUGHT SHE WAS SAFE AT THE MOTEL DEAN!  THAT DOESN’T LOOK SAFE TO ME!!”

“Jo, lower your voice.”  

“You said she’d be safer if she stayed behind.”  Jo’s voice cracked.  “I should’ve stayed with her… and protected her!”   

“Jo!”  Dean placed his hands on her shoulders and turned Jo so that she was facing him.  “Listen to me okay, we will get Y/N back, I promise.  We won’t be able to do that if you’re freaking out.  So I need you to take a deep breath for me.”  He watched her take a few deep breaths and when she appeared to be calm, they reformulated their plan.

#spnkinkbingo #Case Fic #Jo x Reader #Jo Harvelle x Reader #Jo Harvelle fic #SPN #SPN fics

[meangirlsx]

Ship for @theatricalwriter 

Request: Can I get a for Mean Girls and DEH ship? I'm bi- I don't necessarily have much of a preference- and I'm a Ravenclaw. I'm an avid reader, so much to the point where I buy more books than I'm able to read. I'm also a big writer and I'm hoping to go into a career of musical theatre after college. (I also do a lot of performing in and out of school) I'm always watching something on Netflix like a CW show or Criminal Minds. I dislike divas in the theatre department and math, I really hate math. I also don't like ignorant people?? Or those who just refuse to hear what's true and ignore it. That's a huge no for me. But when I look for a partner, I look for someone who's willing to listen to all of my stupid rants and sit down and watch a movie with me. I want someone who looks past my physical flaws and let's me be me in all my Broadway-loving glory. Also someone who supports me in what I love doing- writing, singing, etc. In a crush, it's pretty much the same thing but I guess someone who I see good in and gives off a good vibe. My mom and my closest friends- also in the drama department- are incredibly important to me so they'd have to at least attempt to get along, if that makes sense. I really relate to Jo March from Little Women, Leah Burke from the Simon series- the bi and plus size queen- and Elphaba from Wicked with a bit of April O'Neil from TMNT. Also, didn't mention this, but I love it when people give me nicknames and I love cats. Thank you sm, ily 💖

(This is longer than I intended it to be oops. I kind of stalked your blog a bit to help with some thoughts because I love you and I wanted it to be really good and a lot of thoughts came)

Mean Girls

I ship you with Gretchen Wieners!

How you met:

You always knew who Gretchen was

It would be hard not to

You didn’t know it, but she always knew who you were, too

She thought you were cute but never knew how to strike up a conversation with you without making a fool of herself

You had just gotten out of rehearsal where one of your fellow cast members had been a diva and you were frustrated

You headed to your favorite bookstore to help you calm down

You were very surprised to find Gretchen in your go-to section

She smiled immediately when she saw you

Her smile faded when she saw that you looked distraught

All her anxiety about talking to you went out the window, because now she was worried about you and that took precedence

“Erin, are you okay? What’s wrong?”

You explained that you were dealing with a drama queen, but you brushed it off, saying you were fine

"I have a decent amount of experience with that. Do you want to go get coffee or something? Maybe I can help.”

So you went down the street to a coffee shop with her

You explained everything to her, and she listened patiently and attentively

When you were done, she gave you support and good advice

You could tell dealing with Regina had taught Gretchen a lot about dealing with people with compassion and empathy but also with strength

You admitted that you didn’t peg her for being into books

She explained that Regina had never wanted her to be known as a bookworm, but now that her reign was over, Gretchen was free to love books to her heart’s content

You learned that you had the same favorite types of books, so you ended up spending time at the bookstore together pretty regularly

This also came to include shopping trips

How you got together:

After a few weeks of spending more and more time together, Gretchen found herself liking you more than she thought could be possible in a short amount of time

Every time you talked, she was surprised by how similar you were and how much you could understand each other on a level most people didn’t seem to

So one day she decided to express that to you

She didn’t plan to ask you out

She was too afraid that you would say no

But she wanted you to know how much she appreciated you and how deep of a connection she felt to you

It turned into babbling and before she could stop herself, the words “and I just really like you” had fallen from her mouth

She looked embarrassed and terrified

You gave her a smile instantly to calm her nerves and told her you felt the same

That launched her into another mini tangent about how much she liked you now that she felt open to tell you

Headcanons:

You and Gretchen are always patient and understanding with each other

You get where each other are coming from, you can understand each other’s anxiety and insecurity, and you know you always have good intentions

Your relationship is healing and very healthy

You know just what to say and do to make each other feel better and loved and appreciated and validated

You can rant to each other about anything and know that the other is genuinely listening and caring without any judgement whatsoever

Your relationship has no judgement at all

One of her favorite things about you is your collection of books that’s more than anyone can read, because she has the exact same kind of collection

She loves to go book shopping and clothes shopping with you

You love watching TV shows and movies together but you also love just reading together

She loves to be involved in anything you do, theatre, writing, singing, anything

She loves to come to your shows and cheer loudly, or praise your writing skills, or fawn over your voice

And she loves that joining you in your activities introduces her to your family and friends

She absolutely adores your mom

And she feels like your group of friends was the friend group she was destined to be a part of

She doesn’t have everything in common with them, but that doesn’t take away from the friendship at all

She thinks the most amazing thing is when your passion shows in your eyes and she feels so lucky to be able to witness it and be someone you’re passionate about

DEH

I ship you with Alana Beck!

How you met:

She overheard you in the hallway talking to a friend about an issue you were passionate about

She didn’t want to be rude or intrusive, but she felt passionate about the issue, too, and was excited at the thought of having a discussion with you about it

So she came over and introduced herself, then explained her agreement

The bell to head to class cut you off pretty early, but neither of you wanted to stop talking, so you agreed to meet up again at lunch

At lunch, you learned that you shared the same opinions on a lot of things

You also shared a lot of likes

You even had the same favorite TV shows

You started hanging out to do homework together, watch TV, and sometimes discuss issues in the world that upset you

When you revealed your Broadway nerd side to her, she came to the conclusion that she was doomed

She found it absolutely adorable and also amazing how much you knew about different Broadway-related things and how much you loved it all

How you got together:

During a Friday night CW and Criminal Minds marathon, you glanced over at her and noticed that she seemed nervous and like she wasn’t quite paying attention to the episode

So you paused it to ask her if something was bothering her

She insisted that she was fine

You assured her that you wanted to help if something was going on, but you wouldn’t push if she didn’t want to talk about it

She took a deep breath

“It’s just that we’ve always been really honest and ourselves with each other. And I love that. But I haven’t been completely honest with you and I told myself I would be totally honest with you today and...”

She trailed off, so you took the opportunity to tell her that she didn’t need to tell you everything if she didn’t want to, but you would be there for her no matter what it was

“Well, if that changes after I say this, I’ll completely understand. You don’t have to stay friends with me if it makes you uncomfortable.” She paused for another moment before saying “I’ve had a crush on you since we met.”

You felt relief wash over you knowing that it wasn’t actually anything to be worried about

You told her you did, too

After asking each other a few questions to curb your curiosity about liking each other and not realizing it, you returned to your marathon, sitting much closer than you were before

Headcanons:

She loves coming up with nicknames for you, and you do the same for her

She loves talking about the future with you

She loves hearing how excited you are about your plan and dreams

She likes to imagine your future together

The conversations of your potential future together always involve at least one cat

She is 3000% convinced that you will achieve your dream and become an absolutely spectacular actress and writer

She insists you’re already there and just don’t have the fanbase or professional credits to confirm it

But she’s more than happy to be your biggest fan and support you alongside your friends and family

She bonded with your friends simply over their shared love of you, but they quickly learned that they had a lot in common and now get along as if they’ve been best friends forever

She thinks it’s fantastic that you’re so close to your mom and always does what she can to impress her while still being herself and trying not to go overboard

But she doesn't really need to try

She’s a parent’s dream significant other for their child

Kind, caring, bright, driven, generous, friendly, empathetic, considerate

And she loves you

More than anything

#gretchen wieners ship #gretchen wieners headcanons #alana beck ship #alana beck headcanons #gretchen wieners x reader #alana beck x reader #mean girls ships #mean girls headcanons #deh ships #dear evan hansen ships #deh headcanons #dear evan hansen headcanons

[romancemedia]

Grey’s Anatomy S15E3 - Gut Feeling

In the 3rd episode of season 15 of Grey’s Anatomy it featured Alex Karev as his first day as Interim Chief of Surgery, Bailey adjusting to the change, Maggie discovering Jackson has left without a word and Richard taking on a case of a supposed alcoholic. Honestly this was one interesting episode that had a lot to show.

Alex’s Story

I felt bad for Alex as it wasn’t exactly one of his best days with everyone having serious doubts about his abilities to take on the job as temporary chief as well as having more responsibilities and less time for surgeries. It’s sad to see that apparently no one has true confidence in Alex and his abilities to run the hospital, seriously they could at least show a little support. While Alex may have a made a mistake or two, I hope he tries to stick to the job and prove everyone wrong... eventually, but hopefully Alex can do this as I have confidence in him. Although Alex may have had a rough time at least he got a few good moments of glory when he and Meredith shared a moment together with Alex offering helpful advice as always to Meredith when she has to deal with Cece who wants to know everything about her life. However, the moment that I am the most proud of all was when Alex fired the intern, Vikram Roy once and for all when Roy made a careless mistake that ultimately cost a man his life. It was a good moment for Alex as several people were watching and he showed them that he means business and is in charge wether they like it or not.

Maggie’s Story

I gotta say it broke my heart when Maggie discovered that Jackson had left without so much as a word. Seriously in the last episode Jackson basically proposed to Maggie and told he her loved her for the first time... and he just up and leaves!!! Seriously Jackson What The Hell!? It’s so sad as I really support the relationship between Jackson and Maggie, but I feel so bad for poor Maggie. Seriously, because of Jackson leaving, Maggie is starting to feel there is something wrong with her when it comes to romantic relationships, feeling she is causing the problems. I hate how they are making Maggie feel so badly about herself as she doesn’t deserve to feel that way as she is smart, kind, professional, skilled etc. Honestly when Jackson returns he BETTER make it up to Maggie. One of the sweetest moments though was when Amelia comforted Maggie, assuring her there is nothing wrong with her. A great moment to highlight the episode.

Bailey and Jo’s Story

Bailey and Jo are starting their fellowship partnership together, but Bailey is having difficulty of letting her of her Chief position and is distracted throughout the episode because Alex is still having trouble keeping up with his new responsibilities. Honestly, I think it’s safe to say the reason Bailey even selected Alex for the job was because of Linc’s advice to get someone who will do a terrible job so everyone will miss Bailey as chief and want her back to make sure the temporary chief doesn’t do a better job than she does. I gotta say that’s pretty low for Bailey and she is one of my favourite characters, but not even Bailey is right all the time and even she has trouble when it comes to admitting she was wrong sometimes. Meanwhile, Jo is annoyed that Bailey isn’t focusing on their fellowship and wants to work with Meredith again. I love their partnership and I wish they could go back to working together like back in season 14. However, I’m happy Jo stood up for herself and made Bailey realize her mistake. That was another great highlight for the episode as it’s pretty rare when somebody stands up to Miranda Bailey.

Richard’s Story

Obviously this episode shows that Richard is still struggling since Ollie died in the previous season, only now it’s starting to show a little more with each episode. The way he handled the patient who was supposedly an alcoholic was basically a cry for help. While in the end, Richard did go to Joe’s Bar, thankfully it wasn’t to have a drink... but to simply spend time with some of his fellow coworkers. Hopefully Richard will be okay as I seriously DO NOT want to see Richard go down the same path as he did all those years.

Overall, this was a good episode that also featured Owen and Amelia happily back together and acting like a true family, Nevi (Nico & Levi) moments, Jo in blue scrubs and Meredith continuing her attempts to find true love again in her life. Plus I gotta say the more I see of newcomers Link and Nico, the more I LOVE THEM. However, my only complaint is that we still haven’t seen or heard from Teddy since the first episode. Seriously when is she gonna come back. Owen deserves to know the truth about his unborn child and she has put Maggie in a really bad position. God... I Can’t Wait to see what else season 15 has in store for us this year.

#grey's anatomy s15 #grey's anatomy #my thoughts #my thoughts GA #jaggie #omelia #nevi #jackson x maggie #owen x amelia #levi x nico #alex karev #miranda bailey #jo wilson #vikram roy #richard webber #maggie pierce #amelia shepherd #my edits #nico kim #levi schmitt #schmico

[danceyreagan]

Isaiah Jesus~ First Date

gif not mine. Beta’d by @black-john-lennon

Here it is guys 2085 words of pure Isaiah and Mona

First Meeting  Second Meeting Third Meeting  Backstory  Backstory pt II

Part Four.  Moodboards.

Isaiah’s heartbeat nearly beat out of his chest. After speaking with Finn about the conversation with Mona in the jewelry store he reported everything back to Isaiah. “She likes you mate, I’m sure of it. It’s your job she doesn't like.” Finn also went on to inform him about the women he slept with at Mona’s work. Isaiah cursed himself, but wasn’t too surprised, he had terrible luck when it came to Mona and trying to win her over. Unsure of what to do next, he figured it was best to ask his father for advice.

“How’d you get mom to go out with you?” Isaiah asked his father late that night when returned home from preaching.

“I showed her respect and treated her like she was different, special even. If you want a woman to believe she’s important to you, you can’t treat her like anyone else on the street.”

That’s how he found himself, walking into Mona’s job, a single yellow chrysanthemum in hand, heart beating a mile a minute. His blood ran cold with nerves, his hands were clammy. He was prepared to make himself look foolish just for the prospect of a date. Taking His father's words quite literally, he opted for the less popular but equally beautiful flower because they were his mother's favorite, and the so often decorated his home as a child.

Entering the tailors, Isaiah spotted Mona sitting towards the back, fast at work on her sewing machine. He took a second to admire the sight. Her eyebrows furrowed, deep in concentration as she passed the garment through the needle. God was she beautiful.

“Isaiah?”  he heard a voice call from behind. He turned around to find Lucy, one of he poor unfortunate women he had the pleasure of sharing a lustful evening with.

 “Can I help you?” she asked.  Isaiah felt a twinge of guilt remembering how he ignored her after their night together.

“May I please have a word with Mona?” rolling her eyes Lucy walked past Isaiah up to Mona and whispered in her ear. She looked up and straight at the counter where she met eyes with Isaiah and smiled.

“Is everything alright? How are Tabby and Jeremiah?” Mona was genuinely concerned, she was sure something tragic happened. Why else would he come to her job,

Isaiah’s heart was in his stomach, and he was aware of six pairs of very sharp eyes staring daggers at them. He abruptly he shoved the flower in her hand and blurted his words out so quickly they came out as a jumble of sounds that were barely comprehensible.

“I was wondering if you would like you to go on a date with me on Saturday?” He gave her an awkward smile,snatched his hat off his head and turned his hat in his hands.  Mona’s bit her lip to try to keep her laughter in, but there was no hope. Her shoulders began to shake and her eyes watered, and before Isaiah had time to react she let out a deep guttural laugh.

“Im sorry, what?” She asked through her laughter.

Isaiah knew there was a chance for her to say no, but to flat out laugh in his face was just rude. He wanted to disappear. The floor could swallow him whole and take him to an eternity hellfire and that  would still be better than this.

“What’s so funny?” “

“You! You should see your face” Mona attempted to recreate the scene but she was laughing too hard. Isaiah couldn't help but smile to himself. The sound of her laughter was his favorite sound in the world.

“Stop laughing” he said trying himself to keep from laughing.

“Okay” Mona straightened up, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Sorry.”

“So?” He asked nerves still getting the better of him.

“So...yes. I’ll go on a date with you Isaiah Jesus”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The date was planned and Isaiah was ready. He was aware a lavish night on the town in some swanky club was not Mona’s scene. Besides, he wanted to have a quiet outing where he could conduct a real conversation. When he learned from his sister that Mona had never been on a horse, he arranged a date at Arrow House. With Tommy’s blessings and keys to the stables, he planned a short horseback ride to a small pond where they would have a picnic. Polly assisted by making the sandwiches. She was proud, it was more than her whore groping son and nephews ever asked from her.

“My God, you must really like her” She said as she packed the basket with sandwiches.

“Thank God you're not like my Michael. I’ll be dead in the ground before he ever settles down”

She made her way to the liquor cabinet and handed him a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

“For your nerves.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you scared?” Isaiah asked as he opened the stable door for her.

She looked beautiful. She wore a grey riding suit she borrowed from Tabby that Isaiah had seen a million times. However, on Mona it looked brand new.  She managed to make the semi cheap fabric look like it cost top dollar and her brown skin and eyes seemed to glow in the sunlight. The wind kicked up at just right moments allowing her short hair to billow behind her. Isaiah found himself mesmerized by her beauty with each passing moment.

She gave a tight lipped smile and slight nod in response.

“A bit yeah”

“You’ll be fine. I promise. Butterscotch here,won't hurt you.” He said motioning to the light brown horse with a white stripe running down his long face. The horse brayed and huffed as he led him out of the stable on to the open grounds of Arrow House.

“Take your left leg and place it here. He instructed pointing to the bottom of the saddle.

“As you pull yourself up swing your right leg up and over the saddle.”

Mona did as she was told and mounted the horse with ease. Isaiah went on to instruct Mona on how to direct the horse using the reigns. She was great at following instructions, and such a natural that he wondered if she was lying about this being her first time.

“You’re a natural” Isaiah encouraged as he looked up at Mona with a smile.

“I just have a good instructor,” she smiled back making eye contact with him. It dawned on her, this was the most time she had ever spent with him. It was second nature. She felt comfortable and safe. Besides, her nerves about the horse, she was completely comfortable in his presence.

Although Mona was doing a wonderful job, he still waited 15 minutes before mounting his horse and leading her to the picnic. Instead he walked side by side with her and butterscotch giving her instruction until she assured him she was confident enough to lead the horse on her own.

Once on his horse dark grey horse Storm, he instructed Mona to follow him. They rode around the grassy knoll for another 20 minutes before he led her to the pond where the picnic was set up.

“What’s all this?” Mona asked, she really was not expecting more. The lesson and horse riding was enough for her. She was pleasantly surprised at the thought and efforts he put forth to show her a good time.

Next to the pond was a large green quilt that was spread open on the grass. There was a woven basket and a bottle of champagne, two plates, and two champagne flutes placed on the edge. But to top everything off there was a single yellow chrysanthemum in a vase in the center of the blanket.

“Do you like it?” Isaiah asked cautiously.

As he dismounted Storm and tied his reigns to a branch. He made his way over to butterscotch taking the reins from Mona and giving her instruction on how to get down. Standing close enough behind her to catch her in case she lost balance.

Mona walked over to the set up, taking note of each item before turning to Isaiah who was watching her with anticipation.

“Yeah. it looks nice. Haven't tasted the food yet, so I'm not completely sure.” She smiled at him letting him know it was a joke.

“I went through all this trouble to poison you with sandwiches. You’ve figured me out” he said sarcastically.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mona was currently sat across from Isaiah wiping her tears from her eyes, clutching her side as he told an embarrassing story from his childhood. It involved him trying to hop a fence and splitting his pants right down the ass crack when him and Finn were trying to leave school early when he were thirteen. Isaiah couldn’t help but think how he wouldn't mind hearing that sound every day for the rest of his life. He was ok telling humiliating stories and embarrassing himself, if it meant he could see her smile. The way the corners of her eyes and nose wrinkled, with that extra sparkle in her eyes was enough for him to propose marriage there on the spot.

“You really do have the worst luck” mona laughed out finally composing herself. She was having a good time. A great time. Isaiah was not his jo, she learned that today. . He was a nice man. A gentleman, who so far treated her the way she knew she deserved. As the laughter subsided, they sat there for a few seconds staring each other in the eyes. Noting the awkward silence start build Mona decided it was her turn to try and make Isaiah laugh.

“Wanna hear a joke?”

Isaiah smiled and nodded. “Yeah, okay”

“What did the ocean say to the other ocean?”

“Hmm...dont know”

“Nothing, they just waved” Mona could barely get the words out over her laughter and Isaiah just sat there. Watching her laugh at her terrible joke. She had such a strong laugh. It was like it started all that way from the soles of her feet. She looked up noticing he was just smiling.

“What?” She asked,confused

“Nothing.”

Wanna hear another?

“Sure”

“Why do they put fences in front of graveyards?”

“Why?”

“Because people are dying to get in”

He turned his nose up in horror.

“Ah, thats just wrong”  he couldn’t help but chuckle at the fact that Mona was clearly tickled by her own terrible jokes. Right then a strong gust of wind kicked up, knocking over the empty glasses.

“It's getting cold. Come on, lets head back” he said standing up and reaching his hand out to pull Mona up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I had a great time.” Mona said making her way to her front door with Isaiah quick on her heels.

“You sound surprised”

“I am a bit yeah, I heard about you. Isaiah Jesus. loves to show women a great time.”

Isaiah felt the sting right in his chest as his heart fell to his stomach. And he looked down at his feet with a frown on his face.

“Sorry.” It was meant to be a joke, but it came out harsher than she expected.

“Well I was going to ask you for another date but I don't think I will now.”

“What makes you think I’d say yes?” She asked smiling and raising her eyebrows at him in question.

“Well you just said you had a great time.”

“I might have just been saving your feelings. Wouldn't want to make you cry and all that.”

“The date wasn't as bad as your jokes”

“Now you're being mean. My jokes were funny.”

Isaiah raised his hands in surrender. “Ok. Ok. It's just nice to know you're not perfect.”

“What do you mean? Of course I’m perfect.” She pushed his shoulder playfully, in response.

“So, how about it?”

“That depends”

“On what?”

“If you ask me nicely.”

“Mona, My Dearest , would you do me the honor of having dinner with me next Friday? He took a beat before he started up again.  I” promise I’ll laugh at your jokes.”

“Hmm.” Mona made show of her contemplation by tapping her finger to her chin. Then she surprised both herself and Isaiah and leaned forward and kissing him on the cheek, and turned to enter her home looking back once more with a smile on her face.

“Yes”

Isaiah smiled to himself as he turned to walk to his car.

“I’m gonna marry her” 

@allaboutjoecole  @twistedrunes @thewanderingblinder  @pb-bonniegold

Feedback is Always Welcome! Inbox Open. 

#isaiah jesus #Isaiah backstory #Peaky Blinders #my peaky boo #Danceys OC #Danceys Oc’s #iz a writer now #Isaiah x oc #Isaiah x mona #Mona Mallory Jesus #Mona Mallory

[ellanainthetardis]

Will Haymitch make it through today? Tell me your thoughts!

[ff] or [ao3]

Chapter 31 : What Do We Always Say?

Death tasted like damp earth and smelled like moss.

Pain exploded in his skull long before he even tried to open his eyelids. He moved his arm and couldn’t help a groan when it jostled his side.

Not dead, was his first conscious thought.

It was quickly followed by memories he would have preferred forgotten.

Johanna.

Katniss.

He stopped trying to move when he remembered that last part. Katniss was dead. Katniss was…

“Finally. Was starting to think you were brain damaged or something.”

He forced himself to open his eyes. It was dark, the only light coming from a fire in the center of what was unmistakably a cave with glistening walls. He was lying close enough to the flames to keep warm but not enough to get burned. It was cold anyway though and he could hear the sound of dripping water somewhere in the distance. There were also three dead spiders as big as small dogs piled up in one corner at the edge of the firelight.

A part of him hoped they were dead.

The biggest part didn’t care.

“You missed.” he croaked. His voice sounded rough and weak to his own ears.

Chaff stepped over his prone form to sit on the other side of the fire. His friend looked worse for the wear. He had lost the jacket somewhere – probably on him, Haymitch realized belatedly, because he was lying on some sort of fabric, his head was cushioned on something and he was covered with something else, he didn’t think he had his shirt on anymore, his skin felt exposed to the surrounding humidity. Eleven’s victor’s left sleeve was torn and there were several gashes leading from his elbow down to his stump. There were puncture marks on his neck too. White veins circled out of them like twisted spider webs on his dark skin.

“Yeah, well, what can I say?” Chaff snorted. “I’ve only got the one hand and you’ve got a thick skull.”

Haymitch snorted too but it was bitter and wrong. “Should have left me there.”

His friend ignored that. “I patched you up best as I could. Guess your ribs are cracked but not broken. Bloody lucky with that tree, buddy.” He closed his eyes at the reminder. He shouldn’t have moved. He should have left the trunk fall on him. Johanna could have finished him and… Chaff put an end to that train of thoughts. “Your team went a bit overboard with the medical supplies, you know.”

It was said in a light joking tone but it made Haymitch frown. He glanced down at his bandaged hand and then pushed the jacket that was covering him away, clenching his jaw against the pain. He was  bare-chested, a thick white elastic band was wrapped around his torso… He touched his forehead and his fingers found a band aid…

He met Chaff’s eyes over the fire but his friend remained flippantly neutral, simply nodding to the side where a silver parachute laid abandoned with small bottles that he supposed to be antiseptics.

Medical supplies were always the most expensive. This must have cost a fortune.

“You must have some sponsors lined up out there.” Eleven’s victor commented. “Impressive.”

He shook his head and closed his eyes again, bringing the jacket back up on his shivering body. “Probably leftovers from Katniss.”

“You know better.” Chaff retorted. “Your escort must have been working overtime.”

He shut his eyes tighter. He didn’t need the reminder. He didn’t need to think about what Effie had done to secure that much money. He had a good idea. Those things didn’t come cheap and even with Katniss’ leftover money and the few sponsors they probably had rooting for him… It didn’t add up. He could guess at what she had done to cover the expense. Sponsors or Gamemakers.

It made him seething mad.

Their dirty paws on his escort.

On his wife.

A waste too.

She shouldn’t have done that.

“She never knows when to quit.” he muttered.

“She can’t close deals by herself.” Chaff reminded him quietly. “The boy must have signed them. You know what that means, right?” Hopefully not. Effie wouldn’t have let Peeta compromise himself. Not even for him. A small pebble hit him in the shoulder and he groaned, opening his eyes to look at his friend since Eleven’s victor wanted his attention so badly. He was angry with Chaff, he realized. He had asked him to kill him, to help him and… “It wasn’t your fault.”

The words were like a bucket of icy water poured on his head.

“Sure.” he spat. “You can ask the boy’s opinion on that one if you get out of here. Promised him I would get his girl back to him. Worked out really well, yeah?”

“Don’t need to ask his opinion.” Chaff shrugged. “Trinket can’t close deals by herself. The kid’s sending you medical supplies. Take a hint, Haymitch. He’s not mad. He doesn’t blame you.”

He shook his head and got another pebble tossed at his shoulder for  his trouble. It was a bigger one and it annoyed Haymitch to no end. “Quit that.”

“Quit being an idiot, then.” Eleven’s victor shrugged.

“I killed Jo.” he snarled viciously, pushing on his bandaged hand to sit up. It was almost an accusation, a challenge. A dare for Chaff to tell him it was alright, that it didn’t count, that…

“I killed Blight.” Chaff offered. Haymitch blinked. He hadn’t expected that. His friend went on in a flat voice that didn’t do a good job at hiding just how disturbed he actually was. “Bastard tried to get a jump on me. Didn’t work out well for him.”

“Didn’t think he was the kind to go for a frontal attack.” he commented.

Eleven’s victor waved his stump. “A poisoned one-handed man walking around... He probably thought it would be easy. Too tempting.”

Haymitch’s grey eyes darted to the white marks on his friend’s neck at the word poisoned. It wasn’t a stretch to guess it had something to do with the dead spiders mutts in the corner. “How bad is it?”

“Spreading slow so far.” Chaff dismissed. “Slow but steady.” Eleven’s victor pulled down his shirt a little, showing more white poisonous webs spiraling down his collarbone. “My take is when it reaches my heart, I’m dead meat.”

“Better win fast.” Haymitch advised.

Dark eyes assessed him calmly. “Jo killed your girl. You killed Jo. It’s the game.”

He scoffed. “Killed Mags too.”

That got his attention. Chaff frowned but it was gone in a moment. “Killed Cecelia.” Haymitch did a double take at that and it was his friend’s turn to snort bitterly. “We reached the Cornucopia at the same time. Thought she was coming at me. Probably trying to run away, poor woman.” Chaff shook his head. “Couldn’t tell anymore. Stabbed her.”

Haymitch looked down at the fire. Was there anyone left in that arena who hadn’t done horrible things by now? Killed someone innocent?

“I promised I would get Katniss out.” he whispered.

“Well, it was a fucking stupid promise to make.” Chaff retorted. “She’s dead. Tributes die. The world still goes on spinning. Get over it, Haymitch. What do we always say?” He shook his head. The third pebble hit him in the head and he glared at his friend but the other victor looked nonplussed. “What do we always say?”

“Stay alive.” he grumbled. It was a fucking useless advice and a shitty line when it came to lifting his spirits. This wasn’t the typical innocent kids got murdered for nothing scenario. This was a lot more personal. This was… “Maybe I don’t want to. Maybe I’m tired.”

“We’re all tired.” Chaff scowled. “You think your boy isn’t tired? Can swear he is. His girl’s dead and yet he’s still out there making deals for you. You think Trinket’s not tired?” He reached behind his back, got something off his belt and tossed it at him over the fire. It fell flat in the dirt in front of Haymitch. A knife. Not any knife but his knife. The knife he had won his Quell with. The knife he had left with Effie to give to Katniss. A reminder. “Came with the medical supplies. I’m guessing you get the message.”

Fight. Survive. Find a way.

He rubbed his face, exhausted down to his bones.

“You’ve got people out there looking out for you, trying to get you home to them.” Chaff went on, almost harsh now. “Now, you want to spit on that, you want to give up, you go out there and find Cashmere or Enobaria ‘cause I’m not going to do the work for you. Get yourself killed for all I care. But decide ‘cause I can’t afford an ally with a death wish.”

Chaff stood up swiftly and strode out in the dark tunnel that Haymitch figured led outside, leaving him alone with his tormented conscience.

Reaching for the knife wasn’t a conscious move. His fingers brushed the worn out handle.

There was a choice to make here, Chaff was right.

He could drown in his grief and let himself get killed or he could try to survive. Survive another day. Stay alive. See what the next dawn would bring.

Fight. Survive. Find a way.

His own words echoed in his head, making it difficult to think. He was too much of a survivor, had always been too much of a survivor. If Effie didn’t know when to quit, he didn’t know when to give up.

He could imagine her now, standing up behind the couch in the penthouse, too nervous to sit down, staring at the screen, biting down on a cigarette that she would have forgotten to light, holding her breath, waiting for his next move… Hoping he would get what she wanted.

Fight. Survive. Find a way. Win. Come back to me.

Reaching for the knife… Was it betraying Katniss?

Or was it giving up that would have been betraying the girl?

He knew what she would have said. That was the worst thing. They were too much alike, too desperate for another breath even at the worst times… Too much of survivors to lie down and die…

His fingers closed on the handle. It was an immediate comfort. It fitted perfectly in his palm as if it had been made for him, an extension of his arm. It had been so long, it might as well have been.

Slowly, testing out his injuries, he got to his feet and followed after Chaff. It was a short tunnel to the surface. Eleven’s victor was leaning against the entrance of the cave, his arms crossed in front of his chest. His dark eyes immediately darted to the knife gripped tight in his fist and his posture noticeably relaxed.

The sun was setting outside. He must have been out cold longer than he had thought. The surrounding woods told him they were in Twelve. Maybe they should have headed there first, like Katniss had wanted. Maybe then…

“What did I miss?” he forced himself to ask, to focus.

“A cannon this morning.” Chaff told him. “Quiet since.”

They waited for Panem’s anthem. The first face to appear was Elis Green’s from Six. She had held out longer than he had thought.

They didn’t stay to watch the rest. He didn’t want to see Johanna’s or Katniss’ picture flash up in the sky.

They made their way back to Chaff’s cave in silence. It left them with Cashmere, Enobaria, Beetee and Grant from Nine. And the two of them, of course.

“Thought you didn’t want allies.” he mumbled after they had sat back next to the fire. He accepted the fruits Chaff handed him, wincing when his bruised side protested the sudden move.

“Changed my mind.” Chaff claimed and left it at that.

Haymitch nodded and didn’t push.

He didn’t need to know what had changed.

It was obvious what had changed.

Katniss was gone.

#hayffie #effie trinket #haymitch abernathy #into that good night

[hymn2000]

Where The Darkness Ends - MCU AU fanfic - C5

Story summary: The concept of having a baby has been more of an idea for a long time now. Ideal candidates for a three-person baby, Loki and Tony have finally, after many Peter-based setbacks and challenges, got to the point of being tested. Now, they just have to wait for the results before they can move on to the next stage.

Previous Chapter(s): 1 2 3 4

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: family stuff, mental health stuff, hurt/comfort, hospital/medical stuff, fertility stuff, IVF, potentially some medical inaccuracies

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 5 - If It Helps

-

In a misguided attempt to carry on as normal, Loki went to work the next day. He ignored Tony’s cries and protests and very firmly said that he was going regardless. Tony was too worn down to fight him too much, and too hurt to try to beg him to stay any more than he had done already.

-

It felt strange going to the hospital, as though he hadn’t been there for weeks. Still, he felt like he needed to keep busy, and in his mind, this was the best way to do it. He knew that everyone on his ward knew he’d had some bad news, but Jo Jo was the only one who knew exactly what that bad news was. So hopefully he could avoid the pitying glances.

Jo Jo knew better than most just how horribly the results of the fertility test were going to affect Loki, and he also knew that calling attention to it wouldn’t be wise. 

Jo Jo popped up as soon as Loki reached the hospital.

“Hi!” he said brightly. “Say, have you got any of those cherry energy drinks that I could steal? I had a late night and I’m definitely starting to slow down already”

Loki watched him for a moment, touched that he was trying to act normal, and grateful of the immediate distraction. Maybe this wouldn’t be as hard as he was expecting.

-

Loki didn’t last long. He knew he was foolish to think he could just carry on as normal. Everything on the ward suddenly had much more gravity to it. He was surrounded by expectant parents and babies and everything that went with it. He tried to distance himself a bit, doing light duties like blood work. But he couldn’t escape from the conversation of medical notes, and the excited families talking about their latest buys and possible baby names. 

Loki generally got to know his patients pretty well, and a lot of them wanted to speak to him, and tell him how they were getting on - and show him their latest ultrasound scans and nursery plans. 

Loki fought to stay strong for as long as he could, but it was hard work, and his mind couldn’t help being heavily distracted by what had happened at the clinic, and what he’d lost before he’d even had the chance to have it. 

There was one patient who Loki had gotten to know a little bit, who was having her first scan and check up after a successful round of IVF. Loki tried to distance himself, but the more she spoke, and the more he found his mind wandering to the realms of what could have been, the worse he felt. His heart was thudding, and he was starting to feel sick. He took a deep breath and grabbed a passing colleague.

“Mary, could you take over here for me, please?”

“Yeah, ok..”

Mary took over, giving Loki a concerned look as he rushed off. She knew something was wrong - all the staff had been told that much - but she knew it must be something even bigger than she’d first expected. She’d never seen Loki like this before.

-

Loki shut himself in the locker room and sat down heavily on one of the benches, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. This was so much harder than he’d thought it was going to be. But he was an idiot to think that he could work on a ward surrounded by babies and pregnancy and not feel horribly struck down by it all. 

There was a knock on the door. Loki didn’t look up, but he heard the door open and close, and he felt someone sit down beside him.

“Hi, Loki” the person said. “Jo Jo told me what happened. He said you wouldn’t mind if it was just me”

Loki sat up straight and looked at Mr Lesley. He was a consultant Loki knew from handovers and the occasional after-work drink. He didn’t know him too well, but he knew a few things about him. Like the fact they were in the same boat.

“We didn’t even think about the possibility of this result. We just thought it was a formality”

“I know. No one wants to think about that possibility, and men aren’t usually prepared for it. You were just taking another step closer to getting your baby. You had no reason to consider you’d get those results”

“Exactly” Loki said. He swallowed hard. “...I can’t have children. I’m not going to have a baby and I don’t know what to do”

“There’s nothing you can do, not in the way you think. You can’t change those results, or ‘fix’ them. I know it’s hard. But the only thing you can really do is try to come to terms with it and move on”

“How can I move on? I’ve been waiting for so long to be able to have this baby, and now it’s just been torn away from me. In fact, I’ve torn it away from myself. Tony’s results were fine, good. I was the one with the knackered results. I’m the one who can’t have kids. They don’t even know why yet. It’s probably something I did in space. I don’t know. Maybe it’s always been this way. All I know is there’s nothing I can do and no one I can blame but myself”

“You can’t play the blame game, Loki” Mr Lesley said. “It’s not a case of blaming or finding fault. I know you want to, but these results? Well, it’s just the way it is. There’s no changing it, and there’s often not even a way to find out why. You’re allowed to be angry, just don’t let it consume you”

“How did you do it?” Loki said, trying to stop crying. “There must have been something that helped”

“It was hard” Mr Lesley said. “My wife and I, we were quite bad; we judged our assumptions on stereotypes. We both expected it to be her who was unable to conceive. I was totally unprepared to find that it was me firing blanks”

Loki winced.

“You’ve gotta do the doctory-nursey thing of using comedy to cope sometimes, Loki. Welcome to the jaffa club, I say”

Loki looked at him. “Jaffa?”

“That’s a seedless orange”

“Ah” Loki sighed and shook his head slightly. “I don’t think I want a badge”

“You might find making light of it useful at some point in the future”

“Is that how you coped?”

“Not at first” Mr Lesley said. “It was hard. I’m not going to pretend otherwise. I got so depressed, I took extended sick leave, almost went on a sabbatical. My wife was sympathetic for a while, but... Well, I think she found it tricky to deal with me. I don’t think she thought it hurt as much as it did. She started pushing for the other options far sooner than I was ready to hear them”

“You’ve got children, though, haven’t you?”

“Yes, one. Sperm donation” Mr Lesley said. “It was a pretty long time after I found out about my infertility, but my wife and I so wanted a child, and eventually we made the decision to do it that way”

“How old are they?”

“She’s nine now. I love her so much. You’ve got an adopted son. I’m sure it’s a similar kind of thing, in that you forget you’re not biologically related, because it doesn’t really matter. I’m not sure it’s that important. It’s love and time, and all the rest of it that makes family”

“...I love Peter so much. He’s still my little boy” Loki said. “But having a baby was just something me and Tony wanted so, so much. All of that planning. Everything we planned, it just took one tiny appointment to complete tear it down. It was all for nothing. And I don’t know how I’m supposed to accept that”

“You’ll find a way” Mr Lesley said. “You can cry and scream and shout and swear about it. But make sure you talk. How’s Tony doing?”

“Not great” Loki sighed. “He’s about as devastated as I am. But I think his pain is only skin deep. Not that it doesn’t matter, but... I think my pain goes deeper. He can be upset about it, and we can mourn it, but I can’t shake the thought that this is my fault. If my body worked properly, things would be different”

“I know how you feel, believe me. Loki, listen. I know you’re heartbroken. But you know there’s other options if you decide to go for them. But even if you don’t, you’re lucky, because you’ve already got a child. Some people find that helps”

Loki took his phone out of his pocket, looking at the photo on his lock screen. Mr Lesley peered at the picture.

“He’s a cute little kid. I know you love him. How does he feel about all of this?”

“...He was so ready to be a big brother. He wanted it too. He’s upset too. So much of our home life has been riding on this three-person IVF for months now. He liked staying involved in our plans... I don’t know if he really knows what’s what right now...” Loki swallowed. “He’s not at home right now. He’s staying with my brother. Tony thought it was best. Just until we’re a bit stronger. But I don’t know how long that’s going to be. What if we never get stronger?”

“You will. It’s horrible, but if you look in the right places, there’s places you can go and people you can speak to. It’s harder for us, I think” Mr Lesley said. “There’s not really any help at all out there for men going through infertility. Countless resources for women, which is good, I suppose, but still... I hope it’s different for you - I’m sure it will be, seeing as you’re not with a woman - but when I first told people, I was told to ‘just get a sperm donor’. Or to adopt. Some people even scoffed. It’s dreadful, but I think things are different now, even just after these few years. Hopefully you can fight off the press if this story gets out. I can only imagine what that kind of gossip can feel like. Loki, you’re headstrong and stubborn and I know we don’t know each other hugely well, but allow me to offer some advice”

Loki wiped the tears from his eyes and made himself look at him.

“Ignore everyone who doesn’t know you. Talk to your husband, and your family, and your friends. Talk, and write your feelings out. And go home, Loki” Mr Lesley took Loki’s hand. “Go home. No one is expecting you to work through this. You’ll only make yourself worse, especially on this ward. Go. You need to look after yourself first”

-

Loki wouldn’t speak to Tony when he got home. He hugged him, but quickly excused himself and went to his room, closing the door firmly behind him. He needed some time to himself.

-

Tony felt dreadful, and all he wanted to do was crawl into a hole and hide from the world. But he’d promised himself he’d visit Peter every night, and he wasn’t going to break that promise. Once again, Loki didn’t accompany him, but he had Happy knocking about the house again, so Tony felt ok to leave him for a little bit. At least he wouldn’t be alone.

-

Peter was cuddled down on the sofa when Tony got to Thor’s.

“How has he been?” he asked quietly.

“He’s been ok” Thor said. “He’s been eating, anyway. He’s been pretty quiet though”

Tony nodded, and sat down at Peter’s feet. “Hey, kiddo”

Peter looked at him, but didn’t say anything.

“How are you doing?”

Peter sat up slowly, keeping quiet. Tony sighed. He didn’t know what else to say to him. He was tired, and he felt weak. He hadn’t looked after himself at all that day. He’d felt so lonely, considering Loki had gone out and then shut himself in his room upon his return. He wanted nothing more than to be with his family, but it seemed like none of them wanted to be with him.

“I know you’re upset” Tony said eventually. “I am too. But you know why you’re here. It’s for your own good, chick. Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s not so bad, is it? You get on well with uncle Thor. He’s always so nice to you. You know he loves you almost as much as I do”

“You look ill” Peter said.

Tony was surprised. “Um... Well, I guess I feel a bit ill. It’s been a rough couple of days”

“How’s daddy?”

“He’s resting” Tony nodded. “It was a rough day for him as well”

He pressed his lips together, looking straight ahead. Peter watched him for a moment, and then crawled onto his lap. Tony’s arms moved automatically and he hugged the boy close, resting his chin on his head. He sighed.

“You’re a good little boy” he mumbled. “Such a good boy...”

“I’d be ok at home, you know”

Tony sighed. “I don’t think so. I’m sorry, kiddo, but you’ve gotta stay here. Just until daddy and I have figured everything out”

Peter rested his head against Tony’s chest. “...Dad?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can you... Can you hold me a bit tighter?”

Tony paused, and then wound his arms further round him. “Like this?”

“Just... just a bit tighter”

Tony did so, and Peter sighed and nodded slightly.

“Yeah, like this”

“You know daddy and I love you, right?”

“I know. But it doesn’t feel like daddy loves me right now”

“He does” Tony said. “You’re still our little boy, no matter what”

“You’re sad” Peter said. “Daddy’s sad. I’m sad. Pepper’s sad. We’re not having a baby”

Tony closed his eyes, trying to fight back the tears. “I know”

“You’re gonna keep visiting, though, right? And daddy’s gonna visit when he feels a bit better? Right?”

“Right” Tony said, sounding choked. “Just because you’re staying with uncle Thor, doesn’t mean we have to be distant”

“I was looking online today, seeing if there were memorials for infertility. That didn’t show up any results. I think there should be something, don’t you? Because it does feel like a loss. And it’s really sad, isn’t it?”

“Yeah” Tony said. “Yeah, it’s really sad...”

“They started to feel real, didn’t they?”

“Who?”

“Princess May and Oliver Anthony. It was like we were just waiting to meet them. Like they already existed”

“Yeah...” Tony swallowed, and then started crying. 

He held tight to Peter, rocking him gently as he cried. Peter started crying too, scared. Thor left them at first, but Tony’s cries started getting distressing, so he stepped in and carefully took Peter from him.

“Why don’t you go to your room?” Thor said gently.

“But-”

“Shh, go on. Go to your room”

Peter took a last desperate look at Tony, and then did as he was told. Thor sat down on the sofa and put his arms round Tony, who very soon turned and hugged him. 

“I can’t do this-!”

“Yes you can. You’ll get through it eventually, you and my brother” Thor said, holding him tight. “You’ll get there”

“I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve just felt so sick and hollow ever since we found out. I don’t know how to get my head around this”

“You’ll work it out. You need to talk to Loki” Thor rested his head against Tony’s. “Go home, Tony. I think you need to be with Loki. Don’t worry about Peter; I’ll look after him. You need to look after yourself. Put yourself first for once”

-

Loki was on the balcony, drinking and smoking, as expected, when Tony got home. He barely glanced at his husband. Tony swallowed and went over to him, climbing into his lap and resting his head on his shoulder. Loki wound his arms round him and rested his mouth against Tony’s forehead. A few moments passed, and Loki dropped his cigarette and held Tony tighter. He didn’t want to let go. He felt horrible for avoiding him. Now he wanted nothing more than to stay with him, indefinitely. 

“Loki?”

“Mm?”

“I think we need to talk to someone about this”

Loki was quiet for a moment. He took a deep breath. “Who?”

“I don’t know” Tony swallowed hard, three or four times, trying not to cry. “...I think we should call Li Allen”

“I think we need to talk to each other properly” Loki said, his voice trembling. “We haven’t talked properly; we’ve just cried. I can’t stop crying... I don’t know what to do”

He started crying properly again, and Tony did too. Neither of them could speak, but they held each other and cried, both knowing what the other was feeling. They felt so tired and sore and hollow and alone - but they had each other. At least, if nothing else, they were going through this together. That was all they needed right now. Just to be together. Indefinitely. 

-

Tony just about managed to force himself to go to Thor’s the next evening. He sat with Peter and tried to watch telly for a bit, but he couldn’t concentrate. He held Peter tight and stroked his hair, his thoughts always straying back to Loki and the baby situation. He couldn’t seem to focus on the little boy in his arms. 

-

Tony left just over an hour after arriving. Peter started crying as soon as Tony announced his departure, and Tony felt horrible. He gave Peter a cuddle and chucked him under the chin and told him to be brave. 

“I’ll take you out for dinner next time. Somewhere nice, somewhere we don’t go often” he said. “You’d like that, right?”

Peter nodded, holding his arms out for another hug, which Tony supplied. He kissed him hard on the cheek. 

“You be good. I’ll see you soon. Love you lots”

“I love you too”

Tony kissed him again, hard, and forced himself to let go. He wanted to be with his husband.

-

Loki never took care of himself properly when he wasn’t feeling great, so things weren’t going well. He couldn’t be bothered to eat, or take his supplements, or drink anything non-alcoholic. His stock of cigarettes that had long gone untouched was steadily starting to deplete. The liquor cabinet, which recently had been seldom used, was now open, with no sign of it being closed any time soon. The radio and stereo that usually played throughout the house all day was switched off, leaving a heavy silence in the air. Even FRIDAY had been muted. 

Tony flopped down beside Loki when he got home. 

“How is he?”

“He’s eating and stuff” Tony said. “He’ll be fine. Your brother takes good care of him” 

Loki nodded, lighting another cigarette and passing it to Tony. Tony paused, and then took it. Usually he only smoked on holiday. It felt weird smoking in such sad times. But it felt apt. Odd, but apt. Appropriate. The right thing to do. 

“What are you drinking?”

Loki answered by handing the glass to him. Tony took a good mouthful. Rum and coke. Or more, rum with a splash of coke. Enough rum to make his face twitch. He handed the glass back. Loki took it, and then reached for one of the bottles on the floor. He held the Grey Goose out to him. Tony took it, looking at the picture of the bottle for a moment before unscrewing the cap. He took a deep breath and raised it to his lips. He took a small sip, and then tipped the bottle, gulping down the clear liquid almost greedily. He could feel Loki watching him, and slowly lowered the bottle. He saw that Loki had been holding a glass and mixer can for him too. He took a deep breath.

“We’ll start doing things properly tomorrow”

*

#my writing #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #frostiron #irondad and spiderson

[pulverulents]

#29: in the highlands and the heartache

I feel like I say this way too often in these journal entries, but uh, it's been a while. Hi.

I just read through my last entry, and... woah. So that was rock bottom, huh? Scary. A lot of things have happened in the months since then. I'd like to think I'm in a better place now, but the truth is there's been so much that's happened that it's difficult to take stock.

Where should I start? It's been a long summer. I'm not staying in hall anymore, obviously, and I won't be anymore for the rest of my uni life. And living at home has been difficult. I've experienced such a rollercoaster of emotions over the last few months that I almost don't feel real anymore.

Let's start with something not as depressing. Believe it or not, there's been joy. Since phase 2 started, I've been going out with friends regularly. I used to be terrified that i would leave hall and not talk to any of my hall friends anymore, and I'm so so so glad that time has proven me wrong. And there’s the new Taylor Swift album folklore, which is quickly becoming my favourite album of hers, and which, despite the complete and utter abruptness / surprise / shock, has come at literally no better timing. And there's my sister, who has been such a blessing lately. She's an asshole and an idiot, but I love her a lot and have laughed so much with her despite everything else that has been happening. And it's been healing. All this joy, laughter, and love. Slowly but surely, I’m learning how to let myself heal.

But there's also been sadness. Discovering sad songs, watching sad musicals, the passing of Grant Imahara, who has been one of my childhood role models. But above all, the growing sense that I've been robbed of my childhood. I went to a friend's house recently, and was completely blown away by how nice their parents were. We all ate dinner together, and we were all actually talking. In fact, we were talking so much that nobody was paying attention to the movie that we spent 20 minutes picking out to watch while we ate. It was so incredible and wonderful and the entire room was just glowing and throbbing with joy and love and then I remembered that waiting for me at home was a lifetime of enforced silence during mealtimes when the only time anyone spoke it was my mother scolding us or arguing with my dad or complaining about some minor offence that one of us had committed earlier that day. And on the journey home, as I felt the dread grow and grow, I couldn’t stop thinking that this was just another thing to add on to the already unhealthy amount that I relate to Evan Hansen. I read somewhere on reddit that I need to let myself grieve the loss of my childhood and the loss of proper loving parents in order to truly move on and heal and love myself, but it's difficult to mourn something that technically hasn't ended yet and likely won't end anytime soon.

There's been anger. And lots of it. At my parents, at society, at myself, at God. It's no secret that I have a very difficult relationship with my parents to say the least, and it's been increasingly difficult to not fight back, even though I know that fighting back never ends well. In the midst of an argument discussion about politics, my mother recently declared to me in the car that she was a racist, and I've never experienced that kind of rage before. I was speechless. And throughout the remainder of that drive, all I could do was sit there and listen to her yell at me and my sister as the anger just got heavier and heavier inside my chest with no outlet to escape. And of the countless times my mother has made me angry, I've never felt it in that way before, and I still don’t really know why. I've always disliked politics and so I've never really bothered to form any opinions on it every time election season rolls around. But with what’s been happening in the world and in Singapore lately, I've suddenly become extremely uncomfortable remaining apolitical and "neutral". I recently told a friend that as much as I don’t like politics, I refuse to use my privilege as an excuse to be apathetic about it, and I'll stand by that statement.

But honestly speaking, anger and anguish and anxiety have all been no stranger to me in the 20 years that i've had the misfortune of being alive. And there are days when I'm still in denial that these emotions are real and valid and won't be magically vanishing anytime soon. I could say more, but most days I’m just tired of trying to be my own therapist. Other days I’m just mad that after so long of repeating the same advice to myself, I keep falling back into the same mindsets and the same cycles of self-loathing which makes me even angrier at myself and then the vicious cycle just goes on and on ad infinitum. I used to direct some of that towards God and I still do sometimes, but more often than not it just results in more guilt and then my solution to that is to just not bring it to God at all, so.. I haven’t spoken to God in a while. Probably just one of my “running away” coping mechanisms.

As I’m typing this, I have just turned 21. (Well, not just, it’s technically been 23 minutes since it’s 23 minutes past midnight but eh same difference.) Amidst all of the people pestering me to celebrate and throw a party or something (mostly my parents), I can’t help but think of when I was 16 and had my birthday marred by yelling and screaming, and then at 17 I thought ‘maybe this time will be better’ (spoiler alert: it wasn’t). And ever since then, I’ve detested my own birthday. I guess it just taught me that my birthday wasn’t anything special, and just like literally every other day, I am equally likely to be a recipient of some sort of verbal or emotional abuse, and thus equally likely to have a depressive episode and / or panic attack at 11pm on the bathroom floor. 

But my hall friends came over 2 days ago just for a regular gathering, and they sprung a not-so-surprise surprise celebration on me even though I told them not to. But it was lovely, and even though they’ve only known me for like 2 years, I’ve rarely felt so loved and appreciated. The imposter syndrome in me won’t shut up about how it’s probably just a fluke that I somehow managed to convince them that I’m a better, smarter, more talented human being than I actually am, and that part of my brain wants to feel guilty that I’ve deceived them into thinking that, but I’ve been getting better in forcing that part of my brain to not feel that way most of the time. Which is nice, I guess. It’s an improvement, in any case.

So maybe this year will be different. Maybe it won’t. Maybe the rest of my adult life will be irreparably marred by yelling and screaming. And life has taught me that hope is foolish, but maybe I want to be foolish sometimes. It feels better than the alternative, that’s for sure. Maybe I’ll live through adulthood desperately wanting to be foolish, desperately holding onto whatever joy and laughter and love I can find and guarding it close to my heart as safely as I can. Maybe these memories will be as untouchable as the ones that seek to rip them out and tear them apart. And maybe all of this doesn’t make any sense at all. I don’t know. I used to think when I was 17 that all this childhood trauma has wisened me up, but now at 21, I now know that there are really a lot of things that I don’t know. 

In any case, the only thing I can do now is just... move forward, I guess? Probably a little ambitious, I know. I’ve been running away a lot as a way to deal with this godforsaken mess that is my life, but maybe it would be a good start to stop running and just.. wait the storm out. Maybe Aaron Burr said it best - 

“Life doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints / It takes and it takes and it takes and we keep living anyway / We rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes / And if there’s a reason I’m still alive when so many have died /

Then I'm willing to wait for it."

-jo

#journal #entry 29