#also this fandom is SLEEPING on them which is actually a crime so I decided to make content for them myself xD

[theladyyavilee]

and all of the steps that led me to you and all of the hell I had to walk through but I wouldn’t trade a day for the chance to say: my love, I’m in love with you

Christina Perri - The Words

[Image Description in alt text]

#bg3edit #bg3 edit #wyll ravengard #karlach #karlach cliffgate #wyllach #wyll x karlach #karlach x wyll #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #the blade of frontiers #my edit #THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME #the dancing scene was so soft <3 #made me finally power up my pic editing programme after over a year of me not really feeling it #YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM SO MUCH #really #can't stop thinking about them they are just soooo good together #they both deserve someone as full of love and kindness as the other #also this fandom is SLEEPING on them which is actually a crime so I decided to make content for them myself xD #(still very obsessed with how the first two lines line up so perfectly for them <3)

[heronpoxed]

I decided to re-watch SOA, idk why because I know how painful it will be lol. Anyways, I loved tara when I first watched the show and I love her now. I truly do not understand the hate she gets. I have my own theories on why she get's so much hate, but I'm wondering what your take on it is. I find it especially disgusting the hate she gets from many women in this fandom. They seem to hate tara yet give a free pass to all the horrible things most of the men on this show did, its wild lol

hii<33 i’m so happy you deemed me worthy enough to ask for my opinion on this topic lol

First off, don’t be hard on yourself for rewatching SOA. God knows I’ve rewatched it way too many times even though it always results in my anxiety and unease.

Anyway, I truly believe that i’m gonna get k!lled for this but still, buckle up we have much to discuss. Honestly, this is gonna be a long one.

SPOILERS for anyone who hasn’t seen the show till the end!

There are many reasons why people hate Tara and I’m sure you notice most - if not all - of them but at the end of the day it all comes down to misogyny, internalized misogyny and favoritism. As you said, they excuse every horrible thing that men do because it’s a men-centered show with very attractive male characters. Trust me, if Charlie was not conventionally attractive everyone would’ve hated Jax lol and it’d be absolutely laughable if anyone said otherwise.

It shouldn’t come as news to anyone how sexist and misogynistic most of the SOA fandom is. I’ve talked about this before and say it again that the fans of this show (especially women) are so quick to put blame on female character’s horrible behavior for the shit that male characters build the foundation for. For example, as much as I dislike both Ima and Colette it wasn’t exactly their fault that they were so present in the club life. It wasn’t as if both Jax and Opie hadn’t been more than willing to sleep with Ima. They both let her be a part of SAMCRO, which as a result affected their families. And then seeing both these men treat Ima like shit and even get physically violent with her was fucking awful to watch because they were the ones who had done the damage in the first place. Same goes for the Colette situation. Jax was the one who allowed her to sleep with him yet the fandom is calling her a wh*re. As if sex doesn’t happen among multiple people.

Disgusting and frustrating as hell!

People hate Tara for numerous reasons:

- they think she’s annoying

- they think she’s indecisive

- they hate that a wife tried to take the sons away from a father

- they think her methods were questionable

- ‘she had an out and she didn’t take it and now reprimands Jax for it’

- they think she never cared about Jax and didn’t love him as much.

- ‘she betrayed him’

- she knew what she was signing up for when she decided to date Jax

- she doesn’t own up to her mistakes.

- some of them actually hate her because they don’t see chemistry between Maggie and Charlie which blows my mind. You may think that a couple lacks chemistry but hating a female lead for it is a bit extreme, not to mention utterly misogynistic.

To me, Tara’s only crime was her hair in season 6 lol but on a more objective note:

Y’all see selfishness and betrayal while what I see is Tara prioritizing and choosing Jax over and over again because she’s holding onto the promises that Jax made to her (that he ultimately kept breaking), the idea of having a peaceful family and onto the bond that they had when they first fell in love (she says as much in 6x13). Anyone who says that Tara was selfish and never cared for or deserved Jax is completely out of line because if anything, Tara loved and valued Jax more that he ever did her (see: constant infidelity). The answer to why Tara didn’t leave until the last possible minute is simple: she loved him.

People also seem to ignore the fact that leaving Charming and giving their children a peaceful life was what both Tara and Jax wanted. The guy literally gave his baby up to some strangers FFS even after everything that he and SAMCRO went through to finally track Abel down (one of the saddest scenes on the show, mind you). Taking one look at Abel’s adoptive parents was enough for Jax to know that his life would only be harmful for the baby. I don’t see anyone reprimand Jax for that?!?! If it weren’t for Gemma’s non-stop gnawing and Opie’s death, he wouldn’t have lost sense of what he wanted since the fist episode(!!) - to give his kids a better life.

People accuse Tara of being ‘indecisive,’ saying that she willingly turned down an out when she had it etc. well let me ask you this: and Jax wasn’t?!?! It literally goes both ways. I could write a whole goddamn essay on this one. Tara couldn’t make up her mind on whether or not she should’ve stayed with Jax just like Jax couldn’t make up his own on if he wanted Tara gone or not. I’m sick of people ignoring that. Jax and Tara’s entire dynamic is this constant back and forth between their morals. People call Tara annoying and indecisive for this but call Jax ‘complex’ and ‘complicated’ and ‘conflicted’ while doing the exact same thing. Another case of sexism and misogyny.

When people say that Tara knew what she signed up for when she decided to be with Jax, they aren’t wrong. She did know. However, it was very clearly shown on SOA that despite being involved in a risky illegal business, this constant trouble and bloodshed was not normal for the club. The entire time Tara was gone, everything unfolded discreetly and with minimal trouble that never affected the families of the club members. Almost the entirety of seasons 1 and 2 Gemma kept assuring Tara that it wasn’t always this troublesome with them and Jax kept assuring her that he’d fix things. Tara just came back at a bad time when everything went to shit and kept going to deeper shit. What Tara signed up for was the promise that things would go back to normal because peace and discretion used to be SAMCRO’s normal.

To all those questioning Tara’s methods for taking Thomas and Abel away let me tell you this: while it was risky and morally gray, it was literally what Jax wished John Teller had done for him and his brother Thomas. If you rewatch 4x01 Jax says that John should’ve ran Gemma’s ass over, taken him and Thomas and gotten the hell out of Charming in response to Tara reminding him that Gemma wouldn’t have let them go. This, once again, comes back to Jax losing his sense of direction after Opie’s death. If Jax was okay with John ‘running’ Gemma over, then he’d also be okay with Tara doing the same thing.

So this is what Tara did, ‘ran Gemma’s ass over’ (in a sense) to get her kids away from that life - something that Jax wanted his own father to do for him and something that he himself actually would’ve done if it came down to it.

And don’t forget that it was the circumstances that forced Tara to consider being a rat. She never wanted to rat on her husband and the club. She says as much to Lee Toric in prison. And those saying that she wasn’t owning up to her mistakes clearly ignore or fail to see that Tara hated her plan the entire time and she was constantly at war with herself. She knew full well that her plan wasn’t that of a saint but she did what she thought she had to do. Her heart was in the right place from day 1 and if anything she was the one who got betrayed in the end because Unser, Wendy, Lowen - they all chickened out and left her to fend for herself in complete chaos.

People even prefer Gemma to Tara even though she’s literally evil incarnate willing to kill her husband to maintain the power that comes with the club. It’s all because Gemma is a w*t dream of every person that’s a victim of patriarchy. Most of the fandom believes that you only deserve rights as a woman if you’re badass like Gemma lmao.

We all know the entire point of the show I’m not gonna elaborate any further on that one. The scene between Jax and Patterson in 6x13 speaks for itself. Tara, as a character, served as a reminder of that point. People literally take Jax’s side over hers only because he is hot lol. Every single decision that Tara made in the entire show is literally backed up by logic and reasonable evidence within the TV show itself. Even Kurt Sutter was shook on the amount of hate that she got and has stated multiple times that Tara was always right.

However, it is also worth noting that most of us Gen Z are team Tara, which makes me think that the hate toward her comes from the more closed off mindset of the older generation (obviously this doesn’t include everyone).

So yeah, the answer to your question is misogyny.

Sorry for this enormous answer but I can literally defend Tara non-stop till the day I d!e. If there’s anything else you’d like to know you can ask me or message me any time It’d be my pleasure<3 and feel free to share ur theories. I’m very curious about them.

#i am not a tara apologist because tara has nothing to apologize FOR #she deserved better #she deserved the best version of her husband #sons of anarchy #soa #tara knowles teller #tara knowles #jax teller #samcro #jara #jax x tara #tara x jax #tara and jax #jax and tara #maggie siff #charlie hunnam

[persephones-journey]

Okay. It’s been 2 days since The Last Kingdom wrapped up with its movie. So, I have had time to ponder, and cry, and think, and be in denial, but I think it’s time I share what that show has done for me and how it may have changed my life.

All right, so picture this, I am scrolling on Tumblr on my desktop bored out of my mind, not writing, in fact I think at this point I hadn’t written anything in months. And then suddenly there’s this gif set.

I can’t tell you which person I follows that posted it but I do remember my first reaction: Is that Francis from Reign?

And I was right. It was a gif set of Aethelflaed and Aethelred’s wedding. I was mildly interested but kept scrolling. And then came another gif set; same wedding but this one had Finan and Aethelwold.

I did not know the characters names then but I did know that 1. Aethelwold called Finan an Irishman and I really do have a soft spot for guys with accents and 2. Finan saying ‘I’ll kill ya in your sleep’ had exactly no business being that sexy.

That gif set made me write down the name of the show ‘The Last Kingdom’ into my notebook of tv shows/crime documentaries to watch.

BUT

I did not watch it until later… You guessed it lockdown from COVID. I had so much time, so I binged the series.

And waited all through season 1 for Finan, he didn’t show and man, not going to lie, Uhtred was not making the best decisions. I almost quit the show… but I had a goal: sexy Irishman.

(I’m halfway joking about that…)

When I did reach season 2 and Finan, I found I had fallen for other characters; Ragnar, Hild, Leofric, Beocca, hell even Alfred was all right. But season 2 also brought Thyra, Sihtric, Gisela, and Osferth.

I loved the whole found family dynamic. And it helped a tiny bit that a lot of the actors were fairly good looking.

But I don’t think I actually fell in love with the show until season 3.

I know, all of you are like ‘we get it. Season 3 Finan was sexy, you have mentioned it before’ and I have. But honestly, look at him:

But it was more than just Finan looking sexy, (all my friends are like ‘you’re lying’) it was the Coccham Squad as a whole. They had grown closer and tighter. The storyline for season 3 was the perfect balance of heartbreak and triumph for me. Finan was a smartass, always saying what I was thinking. Sihtric had his spy moment and fake turn. Osferth was sweet and caring. And Uhtred, surprisingly he had grown as a character, unsurprisingly he was still making stupid decisions.

But this season is my fave for more than that. This season, it got that writing spark going again.

And as I moved onto season 4, that spark became a flame.

So I wrote like 600 pages, no chapter breaks, one doc per season of this idea I had. And I told myself that would be it. I didn’t expect the desire to write to last, and if it did I was a hardcore Supernatural girl. I had stories I needed to finish for that fandom.

Finan though, that sexy Irish bastard would not be denied.

And I found myself rewatching the series… I mean, I started at season 2 the episode where Finan shows up. ( sorry Em)

And I got another idea. And I just decided: Fuck it. And signed up to get an Ao3 account and started writing and posting.

Now, this is the part where I get a little emotional. It was through my fic that I met some of my closest friends. I got an invite to a Discord server and the rest is history.

I have laughed with these awesome peeps, cried with them, celebrated their victories, and shared in their defeats. Spent far too many hours talking about how sexy certain characters are *cough cough* Finan and Sihtric.

I found my own family, you could say.

So, yes, The Last Kingdom is over, there will be no new adventures with Uhtred and his pretty boys.

But I will still have my own adventures with the Bread team. @emilyhufflepufftlk @lauwrite1225 @morosemagick @solinarimoon @blah-blah-blah-bla @muddleofnervouswords @medievalfangirl @cibs @93xdiagonxalley @anotherwinchesterfangirl

And I have Uhtred, Finan, Sihtric, and Osferth to thank for that, along with the many other great characters who made that show so damn compelling.

So thank you to The Last Kingdom for bringing me my people.

Oh, and for dropping this incredibly sexy but so nerdy Scotsman on my radar…. But that’s another post 😉

#the last kingdom #for the bread team #the bread kingdom

[darkangel0410]

this might be the best asks of all time bc our DMs are nothing but hater-nation and we are ultimately the correct ones. SOOOOO; 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 12, 16, 18, 19, 24 - i had to ask so many bc your opinions are my FAV lmaooooo but feel free to *not* answer any you dont want!

We ARE always the correct ones - eventually people will realize it 🙄

the character everyone gets wrong

Listen, I have a list of players I'm going to take away from fandom because of crimes of mischaracterization and the list includes, but is not limited to: Matthew (Tkachuk), Jack (Eichel), Trevor, Jamie. Sometimes I swear people haven't ever spoken to a real live boy when they write the convos these guys have in fic

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

I'll be strong and not turn this into an opportunity for my bottom!Jamie agenda, and instead say: Jack Eichel isn't a top - he wants to be fucked often and well, and would also like a few smacks on the ass before and after, thanks. He won't hesitate to tell whoever's fucking him what they're doing wrong, either.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

THERE ARE SO MANY WRONG TAKES ON HERE, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???? but easily the worst take I see on any given day is every single take about Matt (Tkachuk) and how his dad hates him and how he needs a fake gf because his dad's is ASHAMED of him or whatever the fuck people have decided is the new hot trauma to put him through - they've turned Matt into the fandom crier and I hate it with every fiber of my being

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

for me, personally, it's any x reader/ yn or whatever writer who doesn't put their shit behind a read more (Also Nolan Moyle is not a dom, like come the fuck on people)

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Crosby, full stop. I cannot stand the way fandom is with him and I can't even watch him play hockey and enjoy it any more

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

The Knights. Just. The whole roster lmaooo

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

Rule 63, full stop. I don't get why people write it, why they never put in any actual character work into it when they do, and it gives me homophobic vibes (like in general, as a trope, not a specific fic). Like you change everything about someone, and the way the world sees them, the way it interacts with them, and I'm supposed to believe that every single thing happens exactly the same???? Pull the other leg, it has bells on

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Alex Turcotte, My Beloved - truly he's so pretty and sweet and plays good hockey and is just someone fandom needs to pay more attention to

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

I don't do shame, but I do find it kind of funny how much I love a/b/o now because I used to absolutely hate it when it first showed up lmaooo

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Censorship, 1000% because besides being gross on it's own, it's always dragging purity wank in with it and I've seen so much of that shit, I hate it

*

Thanks for asking bestie!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (choose violence ask game)

#q & a #hard4softthings #meme #that's hockey baby #the fandoms change but the people don't

[ghostly-penumbra]

20 Qs for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag, @summerssixecho!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Thirty-six as of now! Most of them are still from events (I put all the filled prompts in one work per event, don’t @ me), but when I really like one of these I post it as a stand-alone :) and I have a few fics outside events too! Woo!

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

132,746 as of right now, but I’ll still finish Ectober so that’ll change quickly. (and as I said before, some fics I post "twice", in the event's work, and as a stand-alone)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Danny Phantom almost exclusively, the exception are the CrossOvers :p

I love The Sandman and Supernatural ones. I’m into DPxDC as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Seven Ways to Summon the Ghost King (1,187 kudos): Seven different ways in which a tired, stressed and sleep-deprived King of Ghosts can be summoned!

Results may vary.

Holiday Gift 2022 (439 kudos): ALL ghosts need to honour the truce. Including those who don't know they're considered part ghost.

Poison Blood and Weighted Crowns (408 kudos): The Justice League asked for help to the Ghost King.

The King demanded Jason Todd in exchange.

Jokingly, Robin accepted.

King Plasmius had the deal be honoured.

Ectober Week 2021 (365 kudos)

DannyMay 2021 (243 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments?

YUP. Sometimes I forget and only see it years later tho. But I do like answering comments so I try my best! If I don’t answer is ‘cause I can’t think of anything else to say but I still try! (I don’t really answer in FFN anymore tho, because I forget if I’ve already answered and I don’t remember how to check that, and I don’t want to accidentally answer twice lmao)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhh… not a big fan of angst, and even though I tried my hand at it in the past don’t remember where I put it anymore

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dragon :') Danny gets dental! (lol ok, I can’t really tell, idk)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

My fics ain’t popular enough to get hate I believe lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

LOL. I WROTE LEMON ONCE. YEARS AND YEARS AGO (almost ten year now. I was fourteen). After that, I haven’t, but I have an idea for a fic and if I actually get to write it I know it would be explicit.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

asdfghjjklñ I fucking love CrossOvers so much. I’ve written some "niche" ones but I believe the craziest/crackiest was Doors :))

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

None that I know of. (Again, not popular enough lol)

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Other than ramble with the discord buddies, nope I haven’t.

13. What's your all-time favourite ship?

None tbh, I do like some ships but I’m aro and I don’t really have an OTP.

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Not much in the way of WIPs but I do have several plot bunnies I entertain before discarding.

On DPxDC I had a demon twin AU where Damian killed Danny as a kid with pressure from Ra’s al Ghul, and they met again after many years, with Damian as Robin and Danny as the Ghost King… and Danny didn’t forgive Damian. I had a lot planned and wanted to include a lot of worldbuilding, but ultimately I decided I couldn’t give Damian’s character justice as I was projecting heavily on my broken relationship with my abusive brother, and Damian deserved better than to be compared to my brother.

Also DPxDC, the aforementioned explicit work, which would be Danny/Valerie/Jason, with them dealing with being ecto-entities with the ecto-acts in place, Danny dealing with being King and trying to be an astronaut, Valerie coping with her feelings on her nature and her Wayne scholarship, and Jason being a crime lord with a family of vigilantes, and their broken yet existing relationships. As they navigated the complex ensuing dynamics, they dismantled the GIW and took down the Ecto-Acts.

I would also like to do more for Dragon, but I really don’t feel like it rn

16. What are your writing strengths?

Instrospection and mindscapes, if I can say so.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Anything that isn’t introspection and mindscapes.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto :)

20. Favourite fic you've written?

aughdabdsufsda, I don’t really know, I love several of them for different reasons, but maybe Father and Sons? I love Clockwork and I love my Sandman crossovers, so I liked mixing both.

I’m not tagging anyone, but I encourage anyone to try! It was really fun!

#alex talks #summerssixecho #Danny Phantom #DPxDC #get to know me #i guess #how do i tag this #long post

[drift-compatible-poll]

Preliminary Round: Kingdom Hearts

Sora and Riku vs Sora, Riku, and Kairi vs Larxene and Marluxia

Propaganda for Sora and Riku: "Look. I know that the kh fandom isn’t powerful enough to make them win but I swear they are perfect for this. They worked out like all their issues in the first game through weird villain betrayal arc bs and ever since then, they’ve been hopelessly in gay love and perfectly in sync. As soon as they had their whole reunion in KH2 the game entirely shifted to “let’s demonstrate how close Sora and Riku are in the most blatant of ways”. I’d highly recommend footage of their fight against the final boss Xemnas as proof of this, along with footage of their special duo Limit attack “Eternal Session”. There are multiple point at which they effortlessly hand their keyblades, special magic weapons that manifest from one’s heart, to each other in attacks. Apart from their synchronization in combat, they’re also extremely close as friends/possibly more. Riku is the only one trusted to dive into Sora’s heart to save him at the end of Dream Drop Distance, and in that game he also did the absolutely insane thing that is uh. He subconsciously changed his species to Dream Eater (lil magic dream creatures) (but Riku still looks human) because of his innate sense that Sora was in danger. Riku seems to have a sixth sense for Sora’s emotions in general because he once noticed Sora was crying before Sora even started crying (that was weird. Birth By Sleep) and noticed he was upset without looking (KH3, Keyblade Graveyard take 1). Sora also seems to consider Riku his first priority a lot, even choosing to keep looking for him to save him at the end of KH1 rather than to return to their home islands with their other friend Kairi (who is usually positioned as love interest, but it’s really lackluster and barely happening at this point and she’s just absent a lot and lacks characterization, and Sora seems to think a LOT more about Riku than he does about Kairi) and be safe. Riku’s dedication to Sora is kinda unhealthily dependent at times because he straight up spent a year once being depressed and fighting off possession while working himself to death trying to wake Sora up from a coma and recover his memories. And then spent another year later leading search efforts for Sora when he disappeared after KH3. Lastly, I am of course obligated to mention the Gayblade (no official name, move summoning it is called Nightmare’s End/Mirage Split), which is a special giant keyblade with heart decals and a paopu fruit (fruit that supposedly intertwines people’s destinies when they share one) and it’s like half light and half dark and is just straight up made from the two of them basically combining their hearts, which… if that’s not being in sync, what is? Sorry for ranting. Anyways, Soriku Endgame Actually, and please consider them for your poll."

Propaganda for Sora, Riku and Kairi: "Their Hearts are so connected to each other in so many way that more than once they brought each other back from death, in various combiantions. Also have you seen their combo finishers? They're so good."

Propaganda for Larxene and Marluxia: "(writing it down as Marluxia and Larxene for the sake of the poll runner's organization but let it be known that i also mean them as Lauriam and Elrena) You are not partner in crime for multiple millennias and multiple realities, finiding each other even after being separated by death, without being drift compatible. Also Sterlizia is with them in spirit, since it's her death that brought them together. Fight me on that." "Real ride or dies. They befriended each other while trying to find their missing sister/friend respectively, had to go to the future and (presumedly) lost their memories, and joined an evil organization. Upon meeting again, they decided everyone else sucked and the two of them attempted a coup. It failed and they kinda died. For whatever reason, Marluxia decided to rejoin afterwards and Larxene, who very clearly hates everyone else involved, follows along just to stick with him."

#kh sora #kh riku #kh kairi #kh larxene #kh marluxia #kingdom hearts #preliminary round #tournament poll

[savingthrcw]

what if the point of her character is that she doesn't have a super specific past or personality because she's The Liar which can make her fit in pretty much any fandom - birth name is Elizabeth but the name she feels most real to her is Stella, because it was given to her by her baby sister. Goes by whatever name feels more appropriate around your muse.

And like, when she's herself she's chill and uncaring at the same time, would definitely spend her days having cocktails by a pool after a night of dancing, either living the Life or eating McDonald to cure her hungover (or the historical version of trash food), can't stop conning even if she's rich because she still can't resist a good crime, probably has a mountain of diamonds somewhere. Especially can't stop when she can punish someone who is being cruel.

But when she's LYING, she can be anything and anyone. Her gift, which she excels at, has always been to lie/con/act, BUT she decided to use it for good after she found out how nice it felt to help people (Leverage style) or avenge them or whatever else she can offer, and she's the kind of conwoman who gets Christmas cards from her former marks because either they never found out she tricked them or were still charmed after discovering the fact (again, Leverage style, if you've seen it think of Sophie). She WILL even give away her beloved money if it means saving people, but she'll do it while complaining a lot. She will destroy those who scam sick people too. She's got no fighting skills but has connections that can make her dangerous.

If you want to interact maybe she's "working" or maybe she's at the point of retiring, or she's being hired to do her job by the other person, or, more easily, your muse or a person close to your muse is the NICE type, and she feels compelled to help when they are in trouble, especially if it means freeloading for a while. She could be in the police's radar in certain fandoms and tasked to help (technically there is no charge against her whether because her fake identities are the wanted criminals or because like I said her marks just can't hold it against her)

shippy wise: she's only good at flirting when she's acting a role (she gets shy if flirted with otherwise, she's not that smooth). I historical/fantasy fandoms she's a widow, who impulse-married a boy she was in love with as soon as she was of age, already thinking of retiring by then and staying out of the game while married (because yes, she was already into this as a kid, her whole family is a mess of criminals) but he died a couple of years later and she was done with romantic commitment for the time being, at least in her real personal life. In modern verses she didn't marry the guy, life just got harder so they simply split up and she went back to what she was good at. Also, she DOESN'T sleep with her marks to con them, she only sleeps with men she actually likes. She claims it's because it'd make the game too easy and she likes a challenge. If a guy is too kind and gullible as opposed to a gullible bastard, she CANNOT con him, she doesn't have the heart for that.

and if anyone is interested let me know!

specific of fandoms where she can't just be human:

baldur's gate 3: a bard with very high charisma and deception obviously, and maybe spells to charm people.

dragon age: rogue and spy, bit like Leliana. Still has spells to charm enemies.

grishaverse: a tailor who specialized in changing her own face first but besides that she's the same person from the bio

marvel/DC: can be a completely normal person dragged in for her ability to lie or, if it works better for our plot, an alien with the same skills but also the ability to make people believe ONE lie at a time until she drops it (the rest is up to her regular acting)

ouat: part of Robin Hood's gang at first but moved because she wants to make more money, would be a tax collector when cursed

merlin: a sorceress that has obviously a lot of extra charming powers but much like in the mcu cannot and will not abuse of that power

icons not mine! credit to hollowedartist and buffyism

#about stella #about stella; #muse: stella #show: fandomless

[justastrugglinghotchocolate]

Hi hello, I was listening to Ib music and now i need to tell you about a dumb little Ib (the rpg horror game) au, that I won’t do much with but that I want to exist in the world outside of my brain. If things are incoherent, it’s cause I am caffeinated.

Spoilers for Ib (It’s 2022, if you haven’t heard of this game, do yourself a favor and watch a playthrough or read the wiki. This game was my childhood.)

Right off the bat, Dorian is Mary, so he doesn’t exist in the same world as Basil and Henry. Also this is for the Henry/Basil fandom. If you want Dasil, check any of my other works. Also everyone is an adult, ranging from their 20s.

Oke, it takes place in the Modern day and has the same premise as the original: Basil and Henry, who have known each other for years at this point, go to an art gallery, though in this case it’s to celebrate “something.” (Henry refuses to say what it is [he’s expecting Basil to confess, he’s right.]) Anyways, then Basil finds the Fabricated World painting and gets transported there.

The person he finds and partners with is not Henry, but, surprise!—it’s Sybil! (Because I think she’s a way cooler option, and they’re gonna be friends). So the AU would follow the same plot as the original game with some changes made to adhere to the new characters. Eventually they meet Dorian, believe he’s also trapped there and all three team up, until it becomes very clear that he is a painting, and yes, he has been trying to get Sybil killed so that he can escape with Basil.

Oke now I’m gonna talk about some endings:

Welcome to the World of Guertena: Sybil gets attacked by weird ass gallery dolls and has a mental break. Basil refuses to leave her behind, infuriating Dorian. Basil tells him off and, in retaliation, Dorian starts tearing off the petals on Basil’s rose. (If you don’t know, in the game, the characters’ lives are connected to the roses, any damage done to the flower hurts them.) Dorian injures Basil enough, that he can’t leave and decides that they’ll all stay in this world, together. Great for him, bad for the other two.

Forgotten Portrait: Sybil dies because of Dorian destroying her rose, Basil has to leave her behind and find Dorian’s painting. He sets the portrait alight, which kills Dorian. He manages to leave this world, returning to the gallery with no memory of what happened. He starts making his way back to Henry when he sees a portrait of Sybil ‘sleeping’. He starts crying, not knowing why, and Henry finds him, an inconsolable mess. He decides the confession can wait and guides Basil out of the gallery.

Together, Forever: Sybil dies, but Basil doesn’t have the lighter, so never burns the portrait. He returns to his world, doesn’t remember anything, and looks for Henry. He finds him with Dorian. As in the game, the world changes so that Dorian existence makes sense—he’s Basil’s roommate, has been for a while now. Basil’s memory in foggy and he finds a piece of candy in his pocket (Sybil had given it to him earlier), but then Dorian takes it from him and eats it, forever destroying any chance of his crime being discovered. He then insists on Basil returning home, cockblocking Henry, and drags Basil outside the gallery. It’s implied that Dorian has no inclination to share his new best friend.

Ib (Basil) All Alone: Having lost Sybil and burned Dorian, Basil wanders the now empty gallery and finds a bed. Realizing that he’s exhausted, he lays in it and reminisces of his last birthday. Henry had given him a stuffed toy as a joke, before revealing that he actually got him a finely made silk handkerchief. (Basil always carries it with him now) Throughout the memory, Basil feels himself slowly fall further and further asleep. Eventually in the memory (dream?), he slumps onto Henry, who tells him he can sleep if he’d like, though Basil feebly tells him that he needs to tell him something. He slips away and the exhibit now has a sleeping beauty.

Promise of Reunion: Sybil and Basil burn down the portrait, but the fire causes the glass of the portrait to shatter, cutting Sybil’s hand. Using the handkerchief Henry gave him, Basil helps bandage the world. They leave together, don’t remember where they were, yadda yadda. Basil eventually bumps into her and they talks about stuff, before he notices his handkerchief and then they remember. They promises to meet again, Sybil inviting him to a show and taking the handkerchief to wash it. Basil returns to Henry, who has no idea of the strange adventure his friend just experienced. Basil, now confident and knowing how easily everything could be lost, kisses him instead of verbally confessing. Henry is absolutely stunned (though very, very pleased) and then gets dragged by Basil to dinner, barely able to comprehend what’s happened. Basil and Sybil do meet again, the adventure in the fabricated world nothing but a secret between them.

Thank you so much for reading. I know that neither of these fandoms are particularly active and I’m currently shadowbanned, so if even one person took the time out of their day to read this, that means a lot to me :). I may do sone doodles of this, perhaps even a few ficlets, but nothing too substantial.

#the picture of dorian gray #ib #ib rpg game #long post #had to get it out of my head

[snoozefiesta]

Because @hexburn asked, I decided to compile some of my favorite moments of 2020 DRX, that is actually mostly their botlane but it'll be for obvious reasons after you look through the post lmao. Enjoy !

Starting off with my absolutely favorite image of all time...

I don't know the full story of this honestly. And I wish I had taken a full screenshot of it when I first saw the picture, but this is from the promotional images for the DRX merch back in 2020 that was on their site. Deft was the one that wore these shoes lmao. I'm not sure if Keria actually wrote it or it's actually Keria's own shoes, although I would love to believe that Keria vandalized Deft's shoes just for the hell of it.

The kids saying that they looked up to Deft and practically idolized only to realize...he's just some guy, and then Deft going "I'm to fucking old for this shit" which like...fair honestly.

The kids committing war crimes towards Deft like the little shits they are, once again he's too old for this shit.

Keria deciding that visiting his hyung is more important than resting (me too Keria)

God this kid...

Whatever tf this video is, Deft forgetting to charge his mouse and it dying while the enemy pushes base and Doran + Keria yelling at him for not charging it and getting mad it him. Also remember how I said DRX idolized Deft as in past tense...well I feel like Keria still did and does because my god was/is that kid infatuated with him, my god.

Yeah Keria...why do you want him to live with you 🤨

I would like take some time to mention that everyone in 2020 DRX are literally compared to cats, besides Pyosik he's Golden Retriever coded imo. If you also dive a little bit into Chovy's fandom, they compare him to Skitty which is absolutely true ! Yes ! ! !

The Spring Split into Summer Split break, they had a uhh...3 (? ? ?) give or take, day stream which was just Deft streaming lmao. During it we had multiple gems such as; the boys + Deft comparing Pyosik to Trundle, Keria and Deft straight up embarrassing Doran by watching his videos of previous streams where he would be singing, and in turn the kids making fun of Deft by watching his old videos, them trying to play the silence game (hence the paper bag over Keria's head), and other things they did.

This absolutely devastating thread of Pyosik's stream...I just...there's nothing much I can say then thank god he has Deft this year after a horrible 2021 Season. You can genuinely see the adoration in his eyes when he looks at Deft and it's so AAAHHH.

There's a lot of pics of these five guys that I absolutely adore so have some of them.

Some extra pictures !

These three images of Keria and Deft after they won that game vs GenG for the Summer Split semis where they had a fucking 4 hr pause and they had to practically reverse sweep them, surprise surprise these are tears of happiness because they won ! I remember only getting like...3 hrs of sleep because the LPL regionals was also going on at the same time and it was iG vs LGD and lmao, I, a whole LGD fan in the year 2020 (+ 2022...), anyways absolutely had the most insane morning that day, god...

Anyways, this team genuinely cared for each other and loved each other (still do !) I firmly believe that the reason they did was because of Deft ! And listen, I don't really like to psychoanalyze random men on the internet but hear me out. I genuinely believe that Deft really cared for them because he saw himself in them. Deft was the youngest in SSB/MVP Blue which was practically his first team. Some of these kid's first team was DRX, those being Keria and Pyosik ! Now who was the closest to Deft ? Keria and Pyosik, do you see where I'm going here.

Keria and Pyosik looked up to Deft and you can genuinely see it by the way they interact with him and the way they look at them. Those two have gone through so much and Deft basically encouraged them into continuing. One of the things Pyosik said that Deft told him (as well as the rest of 2022 DRX) is that a win is a win no matter how poorly you play, no matter how you view the way you play, it's a win. And I genuinely think this is just so...

Idk, Deft seemed to have so much respect from these boys. I genuinely can see it with how Chovy stayed to play with him in HLE, how Pyosik looks at him, how Keria reminiscence his time in DRX, how Doran jokes with him.

I like to joke around and say that 2020 DRX was straight up just Deft and his kids, and it's true.

#this took forever because there was so much i wanted to share and look through and this isn't enough there's still so much more out there #if there's a need for a 2nd part i will look for more content and i will make one because my god... #i will never get tired of looking at 2020 drx content #i also would like to mention that watching their videos on the drx channel is the best way to see really good moments #most of these are heavily focused on keria and deft because well...i a whole deft fan lmao #anyways i hope you enjoy this mess of a post and i'm so sorry for causing pain @ the last few bits lmao #sigh...2020 drx my beloveds #drx20 #esports

[melrosing]

I know you answered something similar before, but which are ur least favorite/most annoying Jaime Lannister discourses? Which ones you think are more prevalent depending on different platforms you're familiar with & which ones are more debatable that most people'd like to admit?

I didn’t have time to answer this when I first saw it so sorry about that, but it has given me a long time to ponder all the bad Jaime Lannister discourse… and this is a hard ask, because I hate so much of it <3

But to kind of attempt an answer:

I think yes, there is a tendency in Jaime fandom to treat Jaime like he never truly did anything wrong, or at least nothing that can’t somehow be pinned on Cersei. Bran was Cersei’s fault. Arya was Cersei’s fault. And then for everything that can’t be laid at Cersei’s feet, there’s some other excuse: the way Jaime speaks to Brienne in ASOS is apparently completely justified. Jaime fucking up Ned’s men was only for Tyrion. And so on

However, there’s also a strange reluctance in other sections of fandom to see Jaime as a victim of anything either. His father’s treatment of him is seen as not worthy of comment, in comparison to how his siblings are treated. Cersei’s treatment of him is described as ‘mutual’. His experiences as Aerys’ KG are instead a source of criticism: people view him as just having stood around doing nothing till his own skin was on the line. A lot of people just don’t want to see Jaime in complex terms: they don't like him, so everyone who does must be making excuses for him - and they're not going to do that, they sleep with his list of sins under their pillow

And then we get meta where people are just making up additional bad deeds for Jaime’s list of Things He’s Done, because they want better reasons to hate him as much as they do. And I find this practice Bizarre. ‘Jaime didn’t rescue Jeyne Poole! Jaime sent Brienne off to die in the woods! Jaime forced Pia into sex with his squire! Jaime was complicit in Cersei’s crimes! Jaime was complicit in Tywin’s!’ I swear this list just keeps growing and it’s like?? Is his actual list of crimes not enough for you??? Why???

And when people are tired of that, there’s this retrospective approach they take to his entire narrative, where actually he killed Aerys for his own sake, actually he rescued Brienne for his own sake, actually he never loved his brother… and I just wonder if this two-dimensional villain is genuinely more interesting to them? Somehow I doubt it, I think at least in part they just want to shit on an arc other people find interesting, because that makes them feel smart lol

And then we finally get into my least favourite Jaime discourse of all time, which is the Limits of Redemption Discourse!! God this shit is so fucking juvenile but y’all have heard me talk about it before lol

In terms of how it varies between platforms… Idk, I think Reddit think they’re cracking a problem when they decide Jaime Is Awful In Every Way, Actually – they just enjoy being contrarian, because if you disagree with enough popular opinions you might be right eventually. Whereas on Tumblr I feel like there’s a performative aspect to Jaime hatred? Like they have to prove they’re not taken in by him? I dunno.

I guess it kind of comes part and parcel with such a popular character – anyone who doesn’t like him feels like they have to have a good reason for it. But god, it has led to so many stupid conversations lmao

#ask #jaime lannister #asoiaf #sorry this isn't super specific or else it would have been an essay anthology haha

[ryuuaka713]

Soukoku & The Red Camellias

Ok, I have been thinking a lot of this lately, so I am just gonna let this all out.

You guys know this official art, right? Right?

This is literally one of my most favorite SKK official art. Like I legit thought that this is a fan-art until I saw an entire comment section in pinterest basically summarizing: “I can’t believe this is NOT a fanart”. I literally lost my shit that day because MY GOD this is so CLOSE! I’ve been in the BSD fandom since January, and I have been obsessing over Soukoku since Dead Apple. 

But anyway, this official art--I showed this to my sister who has no idea what the anime is about, and I wanted an opinion from an outsider in regards of this official art just for the fun of it. And guess what she said: Apart from being GAY, she thinks that their relationship is almost similar to Romeo and Juliet (YEP! HER EXACT WORDS!). It is interesting, not just because these two act more like an aggressive version of R&J (or the anti-thesis of it), it is also the fact that the more I looked into this pic, the more I can see the whole bitter-sweetness to it.

So I decided to look up the meaning of Camellia flowers in which these two have been associated with by the fandom.

(OK, the next thing I am going to say will be something that not everyone will like. But please, hear me out)

I notice a lot of people (shippers to be precise), say that the Camellias represent love, desire, and longing. This meaning is based on WESTERN interpretation. But what about the JAPANESE symbolism of it?

In the Wikipedia version for the Hanakotoba (Japanese Floriography) the (Red) Tsubaki (the Japanese name for the Camellia) is indeed associated with “Love” (not far from the Western interpretation), but what’s interesting is that it also says: “Perishing with Grace”. Ok, Wikipedia is not entirely reliable, so I decided to do more research, and from what I’ve gathered, the Camellias are associated with Love (Again, derived from Western influence or the source is not that reliable), Divinity, and finally--Death.

So technically speaking, the reason why Tsubaki is associated with the divine is that it is used in tea ceremonies because it does not interfere with the scent of tea. Furthermore, it somehow evokes a sense of sacredness (whether directly to a Kami or not) to it, and you can see why this is almost in the same threshold as the Cherry Blossoms in terms of Japanese associations. Indeed, the Tsubaki is called the “Japanese Rose”, and very much like the Cherry Blossoms, these flowers carry a heavy meaning--Death.

Brutal as this may sound, I think the subject of Death behind the flowers is something that connects the most to Soukoku. 

But before I go over that, it should be known that the Tsubaki is associated with “Noble Death”--this comes from the imagery of how the buds of the flower, when wilted, falls as a whole immediately instead of petal by petal. And many called this blossom as a form of “bad luck” because it resembles Decapitation. With that being said, the Tsubaki can be related as a symbolic imagery of a Samurai’s death (since the process of their execution involves having their heads cut off). And thus, it should emphasize the unwavering loyalty of the warrior (it makes sense as to why the petals are intact with the bud--but this is just my interpretation), and why the flower symbolizes a “noble death”.

Now what does got to do with Soukoku?

This applies more to Chuuya as the whole “sacredness”/”divinity” of the Tsubaki can be easily associated with the fact that he possessed the God of Calamity. And because Corruption means total destruction, Chuuya’s fate is literally death like what the Tsubaki implies. However, what I find even more interesting is that after reading how these flowers are associated with the samurai, this is very similar to Chuuya’s case. Chuuya in BSD is the personification of loyalty, specifically to the PM. 

With his relationship with Dazai, it is a little bit different since Chuuya never wants to be his Dog (the most common symbol of loyalty). But what’s interesting enough is that he remains--CONSTANTLY trusts Dazai. In other words, he knows his motivations, trusts him, and would immediately jump into action. Chuuya would go as far as using the very thing that will kill him while keeping in mind that Dazai has a plan (e.g. Dead Apple). With that being said, this is exactly why Chuuya is the one who seems to be watching over Dazai while the latter is sleeping in the official art above. And the fact that the flower just rests on his open palm is well-connected to the aesthetic and “grace” of the Tsubaki. Chuuya’s corruption is brutally horrible, but the concept of his loyalty and trust is something that we can at least admire about him.

What about Dazai? Well, this is the part where things get a little complicated. One thing for sure, the whole death symbolism can be easily associated to his suicidal tendencies. But even so, this is still tied up (literally and figuratively speaking) to his relationship with Chuuya. Dazai said that his ideal suicide should be “clean and proper”--in other words, without burdening anyone. And yet, his death will always be tethered to Chuuya’s. This is seen when they are 15 when Rimbaud proposed that he must kill both Chuuya and Dazai to protect his crimes. This is again brought up in (SPOILERS!!!) Stormbringer when Mori brings up that if Dazai decides to give up and die, no one would save Chuuya (END SPOILERS!!!). In short they are inseparable. 

And because of that, Dazai can see how he can easily influence the fate of his partner-- the very same person who is prone to death despite his desire to live. Thus, one of the reasons why he fights side by side with Chuuya. it is not just Chuuya’s complete trust in him that makes their partnership effective, but it is also his recognition of the boy’s desire to live. And that’s why we have this official art:

In this official art, it is not as delicate as the first one, but we see the Camellias again. This time, it is Dazai holding the flowers, and he is clutching them in his fists. Personally, I see this as him grasping to that life-line while Chuuya is using corruption. While Chuuya, his corruption and the camellias are about the concept of potential death, in Dazai’s case--the camellia serves as a “reminder of death” (not the actual death). Thus, why he is clutching them. After all, he recognizes that Chuuya doesn’t want to die (unlike him). Not to mention, Chuuya would willingly lay down his life to him (and vise versa). In other words, it just shows that with the symbolism of the Tsubaki, both characters--despite the “hate” they have for each other--are always connected, and it is through Death. Death because of their circumstances, or because of their characterizations.

Furthermore, the complexity of Tsubaki being this beautiful flower that is considered as sacred, a love token, and a symbolic imagery of death--parallels so much with the complexity of their relationship. I am not going to dive in further with the analysis of their relationship since I know a handful of people who are excellent in doing that. But what I’m saying here: the Camellias are not only a love token, the same way you can’t say that Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship is like a love-hate relationship (it is way more complicated than that).

With that being said, there is bittersweet connotation in their relationship. It is Romeo and Juliet in a sense that they are connected by tragedy, regardless whether they are in the same organization or not.

And that’s it, thanks for reading my ted-talk!

#soukoku #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #dazai x chuuya #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis #skk

[arielxlazarus]

I almost forgot about that fanfic appreciation week, but I wanted to at least do something for it! So here's a rec list for some of my favorite fics in the one piece fandom!

This list is not at all exhaustive btw (there's still loads of other fics in the fandom that I love), so please don't feel bad if you weren't included! Also if anyone wants more recommendations from me, you can check out my bookmarks on my ao3!

Who Knows (what could happen) by Chromi

Rating: T

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: For as long as he could remember, he had wanted to set out to sea as an adventurer. His father, unfortunately, dictated that he was to follow the family tradition and become a doctor instead.

Following a lifetime of hurt and sorrow at the hands of his family, he eventually breaks free and takes to the sea alone - determined to keep it that way. Fate has other ideas in store for him; fate crosses his path with Portgas D. Ace's, a brand new pirate.

And what does he hate more than pirates?

Nothing.

Or: from Sixis to the Moby Dick - the lives of the Spade pirates.

First Time by Chromi

Rating: E

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: "Because it is Ace, and it will only ever be Ace, that he wants to see like this, and he wants to be responsible for unravelling him down to his core and loving him to his very center."

In which Ace and Deuce go all the way for the first time.

@chromiwrites

Seabound by AnkhPosts

Rating: T

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Ace is a selkie, making one of his periodic stops on land to catch a breather and get some ridiculously tasty human food, maybe see some sights if there are any. His pelt is safely hidden, he'll stay a day or two at most and be on his way.

Deuce is a mer, alone on the sea and traveling as he pleases for the first time in his life, and while he might not be terribly interested in actually interacting with humans it's hard not to see them as fascinating.

Ace meets Deuce. Deuce meets Ace. Neither knows the other isn't human.

@ankhposts

Death is only the beginning by Chizyk

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: “Ankhreshet?” he whipped his head round at the sound of a raspy voice so fast he almost got whiplash. He could feel his body going completely cold as he saw the mummy’s empty eye sockets staring right at him.

@chizyk

I'm Still Here (part of a series) by theprodigypenguin

Rating: M

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace (also Izou/Sabo later in the series)

Summary: "When I do die, don't bother burying me in that empty grave. Put my body in a boat and set me out to sea. Let me sleep eternal on the ocean that my father loved so much; because before everything else in this world, I am a child of the sea, and when I die, I want to return to it. Put me in a boat and set it aflame so I can go down in the same fire I lived."

Forget-Me-Not Fall by theprodigypenguin

Rating: M

Pairing: Izou/Sabo

Summary: “Most of the nobles I’ve met tonight look meticulously put together. They look like they were built to portray a certain image paralleled a hundred times over. People who were copied and pasted. Flawless clothes, flawless faces, flawless makeup, flawless hair.”

“Not me though,” Sabo stated, and Izou hummed.

“It’s comforting.”

“Huh?”

Izou met Sabo’s eye. “Everyone else in this place hides their worst attributes with a mask they modified to fit their faces. They don’t seem to comprehend that those perfect masks only make their worst characteristics more pronounced and defined.” His expression was terribly gentle as his eyes wandered across Sabo’s face. “It’s comforting to be approached by someone not trying to be something else.”

Sabo tilted his head. “How do you know I’m not manipulating you like some common Goa aristocrat?”

Izou smiled. “There are a few reasons.”

@theprodigypenguin

A Light To Guide You Home by TheSkyIsMyHome

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: In a world that despises mutants, Ace lives purely to protect his little brother.

Until the flames inside him find their perfect match and opposite, and he doesn't know what to feel anymore.

The Phoenix's Mate by TheSkyIsMyHome

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Marco is a handsome man. Ace really can't be blamed for being attracted to him. Nobody minds, either.

But Marco isn't always a man. Ace still loves him regardless, and his sexual urges are catching up to that fact.

Marco indulges him, but he might just find himself enjoying it more than he thought he would.

@evvazi

ASL in Red (series) by Kereea

Rating: G-T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace, Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law (both asexual), Koala/Sabo, Akagami no Shanks | Red-Haired Shanks/Benn Beckman, Donquixote "Corazon" Rosinante/Aokiji | Kuzan, Roronoa Zoro/Sanji, and several other minor ones

Summary: In an alternate universe, forces conspired to put Ace, Sabo, and Luffy in the care of the Red Hair pirates as children.

The Grand Line would never know what hit it.

Mates (part of a series) by Deubatty

Rating: E

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Deuce just wanted to go searching for plants! A nice walk in the woods. Except, he ends up becoming the mate to a very persistent naga

His First Mate The Mermaid (part of a series) by Deubatty

Rating: T

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Instead of finding another person on Sixis, Ace finds a mermaid

@masked-writer

Being Human by MaiKusakabe

Rating: E (no smut)

Pairing: None (heavy focus on the platonic relationships between Marco, Whitebeard, and the rest of the crew as they form)

Summary: The line that differentiates human from object appears to be clear, but sometimes it blurs to the point where it is impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins.

The Unknown Devil by MaiKusakabe

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Ace hadn’t expected his last week of imprisonment before his execution to be any different from all the years preceding it. Then again, he hadn’t expected to have Marco the Phoenix as a cellmate for that week, or that Marco’s presence would shake his bleak world so much.

Ripple Effect by MaiKusakabe

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: After the incident with Shanks, Garp didn't take Luffy to Dadan's, unaware of how much that would change the life of his other grandson.

@maisstories

To Build a Home by endlessblankpages

Rating: G

Pairing: None (heavy focus on the platonic relationships between the ASL bros and the Whitebeard Pirates)

Summary: The ASL pirates are used to being accused of crimes they didn't commit. But when they're accused of destroying a small village in the New World, it sends them hurtling toward a deadly confrontation with the strongest man in the world, Whitebeard. The results are not what they were expecting.

Persistence & The Impossible (part of a series) by dragonsfall

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: In order to keep himself from losing his job, Ace takes on an impossible story. Get an interview with the ever-elusive Phoenix. Guess he might as well kiss his job goodbye.

Self Discovery (part of a series) by dragonsfall

Rating: E

Pairing: Izou/Sabo (sort of, it's technically masturbation)

Summary: Sabo has been waiting for a day like this for a while but it doesn’t go quite how he planned it.

@clockworkpanic

A Breach of Intention by Depths

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: It was unspoken, but some pirate crews and mermaids had an unspoken solidarity. Pirates throw their enemies overboard, and the merfolk will take care of them.

mer!ace au

@leviathiane

Running on All Sixes by lunarshores

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace, minor Izou/Thatch

Summary: The Whitebeard gang might be one of the most influential in the city, but to Marco they're just his family. Though he sometimes wishes they'd just leave him alone, especially when Izo's playing matchmaker, and Ace is his usual oblivious self. When a brother betrays them, they'll have to fight to show why no one ever messes with their family.

nothing is impossible with you by lunarshores

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Five times Ace and Marco accidentally mixed their flames on accident and one time that was entirely on purpose.

@lunarshores

I Want You to Look at Me by shockandlock

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: One night, Marco is missing from dinner, so Ace decides to bring dinner to him. He's surprised to see Marco wearing glasses and now he can't stop thinking about the way he looks. Now with additional chapter(s) including more miscellaneous MarcoAce PWP!

To My Dear Fire (part of a series) by shockandlock

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Living in the city is a new thing for Ace. After being raised near a cozy coastal mountain town through his childhood, it's definitely a change of pace, but it doesn't help when he loses his new job after an unfortunate encounter with actor Marco Newgate. He just wants to live-- and meet his long time pen pal, Phoenix.

Marco knows that being an actor is hard, so he takes the little things when he can: writing his pen pal (and honestly one of his best friends) Fire Fist, flirting with the cute new waiter at his favorite café-- not that he has a chance after a disaster on social media. But maybe fate really does give him a second chance when Ace shows up at Four Emperor Studios...

@shockandlock

Uncharted Territory by silverwolf_fox

Rating: E

Pairing: Masked Deuce/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: This was by far one of Ace's most ridiculous ideas.

When Deuce keeps getting flustered everytime he tries to dominate Ace, they created an opportunity where he didn't have to be afraid of messing up.

Now he's free to do and try whatever he wants...

...so long as Ace doesn't wake up.

Watching the Sunrise (part of a series) by silverwolf_fox

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Many years have passed since Rouge gave up her life for her son’s...except she didn’t die, but she thinks Ace did. Living her life on Baterilla, she’s mourned each and every day until the morning she receives his bounty poster. She sets off immediately to find him, but finds their meeting isn’t as easy as she’d imagined.

@the-devil-fruit-tree

never shall i forget, how you climbed out of a dream by siojo

Rating: T

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: “Kaido,” Ace smirks, flames burning around his feet as he shifts in preparation for Kaido’s next attack, already trying to decide what he’s going to do in response. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You’ve seemed to have been enjoying yourself here.”

“I thought you would be smarter than this, Portgas. You’ve never tried to fight another Yonko before, your bounty won’t matter much when you lose.”

Ace barks a laugh, his teeth bared in a facsimile of a grin, “You must have missed out on the brawl I had with Big Mom after she sent two of her daughters and a son for me to consider marrying. This is a bit more personal than that.”

@wordsdrippinginink

Reborn in Fire by aerle

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Fireman Marco has earned the nickname 'the Phoenix' by saving numerous people from a certain death. After an accident however, he has to relearn to walk and gets a new job as arson inspector at a different fire station. There he gets confronted with a boy from his past, now all grown up and gorgeous.

Three's a Crowd, Four's a Double Date by aerle

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace (main), Izou/Thatch (secondary)

Summary: "We're not dating," Marco said definitively. "That we're sharing a bed tonight is a total coincidence."

@aerle

Universal Dive by EmpressKira

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Ace had been making his way through the city to go to one of his favorite cafes. Well, that was until this hole ripped in the sky and some pirate fell out with the flaming bird guy following. Getting targeted, he is dragged into a different world with pirates and everything defying the reality he is used to. Will he make it home? Will he go back when the time comes?

@empresskira

Blue moon (series) by de_Winter

Rating: T-M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Urban fantasy AU, werewolf Marco and witch Ace

Red Velvet by de_Winter

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: Ace already knew their routine by heart, just from observing them for a couple of mornings when he had early delivery, and from Izou’s daily long winded—and probably sexually frustrated—rants. Big Blond would come out of the bakery wearing a shirt too tight for him and too thin for the weather as soon as he was done setting up the tables inside the storefront, holding a take out cup and a small box in his big hands. They looked really, pleasantly big from where Ace was standing, and he honestly wished he wasn't standing that far away.

@dee-de-winter

We'll Look Back and Laugh at Ourselves by JuHuaTai

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace, minor Gol D. Roger/Portgas D. Rouge

Summary: Between his new boyfriend and his workaholic boss, Marco felt like he was surrounded by family issues of the father and son dispute variety. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

Or maybe he should've listened to the office gossip more. Maybe then he'd figure it out sooner.

Gratitude of the Phoenix (part of a series) by JuHuaTai

Rating: M

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: [Based on 'The Crane Wife' Folklore]

One day, he saved a bird from freezing to death in a trap. Then, a stranger saved him from suffering the same fate, and a request to stay for one night turned into having someone to fill the void left in the small cottage and in his heart ever since his brothers left.

These two incident doesn’t seem to be related to one another, but they both changed Ace’s life in ways he could never have imagined.

Watashitachi wa Roger kaizoku desu (we still stand proud) by stereden

Rating: T

Pairing: None (heavy focus on Buggy, Shanks, and Crocus)

Summary: The Roger Pirates disappeared after their Captain's death, and were happy enough to let the Marines forget about them.

Until the Marines decide to execute their Captain's son, that is.

@stereden

This Bites! by Xomniac

Rating: M

Pairing: None (heavy focus on a main character oc and the strawhat pirates)

Summary: Sea Kings, sea-sickness, sunburns, a 95% genocidal Navy and more than a million and one other assorted ways to die. It's official: Being inserted into an anime sucks ass... Buuut I guess it could be worse. I mean, look on the bright side: At least I'm sailing with the future king of the pirates.

A Fortune that Never Grows Old by imperialmint

Rating: E

Pairing: Marco the Phoenix/Portgas D. Ace

Summary: It's one thing to get butterflies in your stomach when you seen an attractive person but it's another thing entirely for Marco to want to stomp out a courtship ritual and lay foundations for a nest when he meets the navy's new (hot) secret weapon.

@imperialmint

Most of the authors on this list have many other excellent one piece fics I'd definitely suggest checking out! Enjoy your reading and try to show them all some love if you can!

#one piece #fanfiction #marcoace #deuceace #izousabo #thatchizou #saboala #lawlu #shanksbenn #marace #acedeuce #portgas d. ace #marco the phoenix #masked deuce #whitebeard pirates #spade pirates #strawhat pirates #shanks #red hair shanks #buggy #buggy the clown #roger pirates #asl brothers #monkey d. luffy #sabo #revolutionary sabo #portgas d ace #ok that's enough tags #sorry if i forgot to tag anything important #hope everyone enjoys the recs

[sazandorable]

About moderating and banning content on AO3!

Okay so! I haven’t had the spoons to do this for a while but I cracked and ranted about it on twitter which is... not... conducive to long rants, so!

This is a h u g e discussion part of the l o n g history that led to the creation of AO3, which older, more informed, and more articulate people have talked about at length and can be found around if you look (I reblog some of it in my AO3 and fandom history tags for the curious). So I won’t go into that here, nor into the practical reasons why it’s not even possible to put that system in place anyway.

Arbitrarily, or the purpose of this post, because it’s the biggest topic I’ve seen brought up lately, I’ll be talking about fic depicting underage characters in se*ual situations, but honestly I could hold the exact same conversation on literally any controversial content.

This is about why you, specifically, if you are a content creator and especially if you are marginalised and especially if you are queer and especially especially if you are sensitive to fiction depicting certain things... do not, actually, want a banning system on AO3.

What? Of course we do. There’s a lot of p*do shit on AO3 and p*do shit is gross. No one should condone that, wtf? It would be easy to do — just periodically delete the entire Underage tag!

What will happen if that is done is that people will re-upload and continue to write it, they’ll just stop tagging and you will run into it with zero warning nor ability to filter it out. Again, this is not a theoretical — we know this is what happens. When I was a teen, adult content (all adult content) was not allowed on FF.NET; it was everywhere regardless, and without tags. The exact same thing happened on tumblr when adult content was banned as well. It’s not a matter of “staff not handling it well” — it just doesn’t work.

To keep safe the people who need to be able to exclude that tag, that tag needs to exist and be used.

Well, shucks. A reporting system then?

A reporting system would operate in one of two ways:

-an algorithm, which would delete a lot of stuff we wouldn’t want it to delete.

-humans, which is... the bigger problem.

An algorithm sounds great. We do want it to delete everything.

Okay. What about the daddy k*nk fics between consenting adult characters? What about the fics featuring characters that are children in the canon but are adults in the fic? What about the fics about teenagers exploring their se*uality together, written by adults about the experiences they remember having or wish they could have had? What about the thousands of SasuNaru and Drarry and other shounen and YA fics that will get written, by teens or by people who remember being teens? What about the se*ually explicit fic written by teens who are se*ually active in real life? What about the fics about CSA as trauma, about healing from it? What about the fics written by survivors of CSA to cope about their trauma? What about the fics that clearly show that it’s evil and traumatic? What about the super dark, harrowing, but beautiful and artistic that I’m glad I read even though it fucked me up for days? What about the ones that were really shitty but also horribly hot?

Well, some of these are still not okay, but maybe some might be. It depends on how it’s written. We’ll have humans moderating content and deciding, then.

Okay.

The thing is, I don’t know which of the things I just listed were okay for you to be depicted in fiction and which were too much. Odds are I don’t agree with you. Odds are if I asked 10 people randomly picked off the street, not everyone would agree.

Odds are, even if AO3 arbitrarily decided on which of those are allowed and which are not, you would not agree with their choice, and you would still be unhappy with the decision. (Or you would be happy, but your friends wouldn’t.)

Odds are, different AO3 content moderators might not agree on whether a given fic qualifies or not — is it artistic enough? Does it show enough that these actions are evil and wrong? Can the author prove they’re a teenager? Can the author prove they are a CSA victim? Can the author prove that this is to help them cope with their trauma? The author seem to be functioning alright, they mustn’t really be traumatised!

You know what I mean! There’s absolute, objectively gross shit out there that is not artistic and should not be published.

I agree that there’s vile stuff out there that makes me sick and that I think is very clearly just ped*philic trash. But there is no way to, 1) stop those from getting published anyway, 2) take those down and preserve the safety of everything else.

If we start forbidding some things, there’s two ways to go about it.

One single, clear, arbitrary rule — for instance, absolutely no adult content featuring characters under 18 (leaving aside the fact that this would not even work for the reason cited above). So we lose all the stuff from teenagers, all the coming of age stories about adolescence, all the stuff from CSA survivors; people who need to write it can’t publish it anymore, and people who need to read it can’t anymore either (and as a cool bonus, they’re told it’s wrong and made to feel bad about it). Depending on whether the rules applies to characters that are under 18 in the canon, we lose entire fandoms.

Or, subjective moderation by humans, according to what they estimate to be gross.

Let’s assume all moderators can agree on what’s gross or not.

If there is a system in place to ban some underage works because “gross shit”, then that means other gross stuff can be taken down on account of being gross and harmful.

Yeah! Gross stuff should be taken down! Come on, surely everyone agrees on what’s gross and harmful.

Ah.

But the problem is.

Here is a list of things I have seen — with my eyes seen — called harmful to be depicted in fiction:

Murder

Non-con

Inc*st

Cannibalism

Torture

Self-harm

Mental illness

Drugs

Racism

K*nk

Non-negotiated k*nk, but healthy k*nk is ok

Spanking k*nk

BDSM where the woman is a bottom, but woman top is ok

Healthy depictions of BDSM

Unhealthy depictions of BDSM

Queer people doing bad things

Abusive relationships

Rival/Enemies to lovers

Redemption stories

A happy relationship between a 17 yo and an 18 yo

A happy relationship between a 20 yo and a 60 yo

A happy relationship between a boss and their employee, or a college teacher and a student

A happy relationship between a 14 yo boy and an older teenage boy, because that’s reminiscent of older men preying on younger gay boys IRL

Se*ual content featuring a character whose age is unclear in canon and some people headcanon them as being underage, some as being a young adult

Loving, consensual fluff between characters that are evil villains, because it romanticises them and their actions

Dark content shipping female characters

Fluffy content shipping female characters, because it’s misogynistic to act like lesbians are only soft all the time

Consensual s*x featuring a canonically asexual character, because it implies that all aces can and should still have se*

Fics about the same canonically asexual character hating s*x, because that erases the experience of s*x-positive aces

Shipping a character who is perceived by some fans as queer-coded with a character of a different s*x

The tendency to ship a black character with white characters

Fluffy drunk s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Sleep s*x, because that’s not actually consensual

Trans characters not experiencing dysphoria, because that idealises the trans experience

Consensual s*x between adults that are not married

LGBT+ content, because kids shouldn’t see that.

I guarantee you: you, I, and 10 random people plucked from the street will not agree on what, in that list, is and isn’t okay to publish and consume fiction of.

So why should your taste be the one followed? Why should it be the taste of mods you don’t know? Why should anyone get to dictate? What if the mods think your OTP is gross and your NOTP is fine?

This is the slippery slope argument.

Yes, it is the slippery slope argument. Because we know it happens. Because we’ve been there, because I’ve seen it happen myself twice already and I’m not even thirty. Because we know people do complain loudly about all of these things.

And because the second there is a banning system in place, assholes will use the system to abuse it and get stuff they just don’t like taken down using the “it is gross” argument, and one day you’ll wake up and the beautiful fic that helped you come to terms with your abuse/trauma/identity/orientation/k*nk for feet will be taken down and wonderful vulnerable creative people will have been harassed out of fandom because they argued with 1 person who didn’t like their foot k*nk fic that happened to also feature, for instance, a CSA trauma backstory.

Again: not exaggerating. Not theoretical. It happens, we know it happens, AO3 was created literally because it happens.

I still fucking hate that stuff.

That is completely fine and normal. No one likes everything. Me too! Most of the dark stuff is niche and the creators know only few people will like it the same way they do.

(For the record, I get grossed out and triggered by fics about an asexual character who does not like s*x having s*x with their partner to make them happy. Deep in my gut everything screams that that’s fucked up, terrifying and harmful, how can people write that. But I recognise that there are people who love and need that, and I leave those people and their content alone.

OTOH, I read a lot of otherwise dark shit and I enjoy it in the same way I enjoyed, say, Hannibal, in the same way some people enjoy true crime documentaries, horror movies or r*pe fantasy k*nk. It helps me explore stuff that I like to see in fiction, in a safe, controlled way. I’m also asexual, 90% s*x-repulsed IRL, and, obviously, I would never abuse a child. For that matter, I wouldn’t kill and eat people, either, nor would I do 90% of the tamer k*nky stuff I read.

Of course, Hannibal was fucked up and lots of people probably think Hannibal was gross and should not have been aired — but as exemplified by the fact that it was created, aired and watched, lots of people thought it was fine, interesting and even fun to watch.)

You can and should curate your experience and protect yourself. The AO3 website now allows you to exclude certain tags, and people have developed tools to help with that such as plugins that save your filters or hide fics that contain certain words.

But no, it isn’t going to, and it shouldn’t, get banned.

#ao3 #fandom history #aaaaand that's all im going to tag

[tigerdrop]

in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that

ta-dah

ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11

so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)

basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out

now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME

he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)

the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"

(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)

vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping

jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off

and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away

and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try

(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise

and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him

unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey

now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.

and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.

(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind

so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)

but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this

lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play

but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later

and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not

i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic

it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)

it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.

and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"

and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"

normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff

its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!

i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?

well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro

anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)

“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion

and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head

gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is

and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair

so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.

and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).

benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is

benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful

so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried

point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best

benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.

he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words

hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus

benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher

he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.

gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!

but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.

anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.

for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.

and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.

gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.

the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!

gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.

benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth

and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—

and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.

then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.

once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself

he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.

“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”

“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”

and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—

except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—

and—

oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.

then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”

“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”

“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”

“im not a bad dog!”

“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”

(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)

#this is so far from finished b/c A) im a coward now and B) typing qith my left hand sucks so i dont wanna do it right now. Sorry #writin stuff

[fortunatelyfresco]

A Holistic Integration of Type 1 Narcolepsy into the Reading of Moist von Lipwig

Literary Interpretation, Disability, and Finding Yourself Between the Lines

As it goes, "I wrote this for me, but you can read it if you want." It might be a fun ride for anyone who is very interested in Moist von Lipwig, or narcolepsy, or both, and/or anyone who enjoys collecting small details from within a body of work and arranging them into threads that are supportable by the text, without being actually suggested by it.

Personally, I find it very interesting to read the meta behind different headcanons, and see how creators can unintentionally write a character who fits certain criteria. There are only so many traits, after all, and some of them tend to travel in groups! Humans are pattern seekers, etc etc.

The first step of reading Moist von Lipwig as narcoleptic is wanting to read Moist von Lipwig as narcoleptic. Being narcoleptic myself and relating heavily to Moist, this step was very easy. I invite you to take my hand and come along, at least briefly, if you were interested enough to click the readmore.

Once you have taken that step, things start falling into place. At least they do if you're intimately familiar with narcolepsy, or if you first learn about it in detail through, for instance, a Tumblr post with an agenda :)

I'll break this down symptom by symptom, citing only the ones I both have personal experience with and see textual support for.

I'll be using OverDrive's search function to catalogue "evidence" in (the American editions of) Going Postal, Making Money, and Raising Steam, so I might miss passages that don't use certain keywords.

Please take any statements along the lines of "being narcoleptic means X" with a huge grain of salt. Sometimes it's just more succinct. Narcolepsy can manifest in many different ways, and is still being actively studied. Don't base your entire understanding of it on a fandom essay I wrote to cope with the crushing pressures of capitalism. I have not even fully read the scientific studies linked here as sources.

Here we go! Spoilers abound.

I. Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (EDS) and sleep attacks.

Being narcoleptic means (salt now, please) that your brain does not get adequate rest while you sleep, no matter how much you sleep. This is because of a disturbance in the order and length of REM and NREM sleep phases. This leads to constant exhaustion. Some sources describe narcoleptic EDS as "comparable to [the sleepiness] experienced by a healthy individual who has been sleep-deprived continuously for 48–72 hours."

(Source.)

Sleep attacks can come on gradually or suddenly. In my case, I become irritable and easily overwhelmed, and nothing matters except finding a place to lie down. A more severe attack, under the right circumstances, can put me to sleep while I'm actively trying to stay awake and engaged.

Moist refers to 6:45 am as "still nighttime." He is "allergic to the concept of two seven o'clocks in one day" and is "not good at early mornings," and the narration even cites this as "one of the advantages of a life of crime; you didn't have to get up until other people had got the streets aired."

In Going Postal, he repeatedly falls asleep at his desk. I can only find two instances, but the first one describes it as having happened "again," so it happens at least three times over the course of one week. Both of the times I found were after Mr. Pump cleared his apartment, giving him access to a bed, and I can't find any reference to the fire destroying it—just that his office is "missing the whole of one wall." His presumably wooden desk is still intact, even, just "charred."

There's also no build-up either time. No direct narration of the time right before he falls asleep, just retroactive accounting for it.

Which is primarily a function of stories not showing us every boring second, and secondarily one of the smaller ways we're shown Moist being overwhelmed and racing to keep up with himself, but tertiarily it's a great set dressing if you've already decided he's narcoleptic. Sometimes sleep is just a thing that happens, without any deliberate transition. Sometimes you sit down to catch your breath or get some paperwork done, and wake up several hours later.

I've found only one example in GP of Moist waking up in his actual bed at the post office: the morning after being possessed by all the undelivered letters. Presumably either they put him there, or Mr. Pump did.

There are two points in Making Money where Moist, in an effort to be a comforting and/or guiding hand, advises people to get some sleep. First Owlswick Jenkins, and then one of the clerks (Robert) who is worried about Mr. Bent.

I take the optimistic view that this is Moist genuinely caring about these people, not just trying to get them to do what he wants. He has always done some combination of those things (GP opens with him having befriended his jailers, after all), but there's definitely a thread of him learning to treat both himself and those around him more like real people. (See also.)

Looking at this thread through narcolepsy-colored lenses, you get Moist perhaps drawing from his own experiences in an effort to be helpful. In Owlswick or Robert's position, what is something he would want to hear from the man currently in charge of his fate, or at least his job? "Get some sleep."

If we accept this as a pattern, it culminates in Raising Steam, when Moist starts to worry about "Dick Simnel and his band of overworked engineers," fixating particularly on their lack of sleep.

What sleep they got was in sleeping bags, curled up on carriage seats, eating but not eating well, just driven by their watches and their desire to keep the train going.

[...]

"People are going to die if we push them any further," he said to Dick. "You lot would rather work than sleep!"

[...]

The young man swayed in front of him and Moist's tone became gentle. "And I see now that part of my job is to tell you that you need some rest. You've run out of steam, Dick. Look, we're well on the way to Uberwald now, and while it's daylight and we're out of the mountains it's going to be the least risky time to run with minimum crew. We're all going to need our wits about us when we get near the pass. Surely you can take some rest?"

Simnel blinked as if he'd not seen Moist the first time, and said, "Yes, you're right."

And Moist could hear the slurring in the young man's speech, caught him before he fell and dragged him into a sleeping compartment, put him to bed, and noted that the engineer didn't so much fall asleep as somehow flow into it.

Moist then recruits Vimes to help him talk the rest of the engineers into getting some rest. The two of them briefly commiserate about people not realizing how important it is.

"I have to teach that to young coppers. Treasure a night's rest, I always say. Take a nap whenever you can."

"Very good."

II. Insomnia.

This is a lesser-known but very common symptom of narcolepsy. Or a comorbidity, depending on how you look at it. It seems counterintuitive if narcolepsy has been presented to you as "sleeping all the time," but it makes sense once you know it's really a matter of disruption in the brain's ability to regulate sleep cycles.

The case for this symptom is flimsier, and I fully admit I'm just reading my own experience into it. But here are two excerpts from Going Postal that I find quite suitable for my sleepy agenda:

1. "A man of affairs such as he had to learn to sleep in all kinds of situations, often while mobs were looking for him a wall's thickness away."

I latched hard onto this detail the first time I read GP.

At my worst, I could not get more than a couple hours of sleep in my bed. I kept taking naps in the bath because it was one of the few places I could sleep. It seemed to fulfill some of the criteria (isolation, temperature control, etc) that my brain demanded in exchange for playing nice.

We're told over and over again, throughout Moist's books, that he functions best under pressure.

(Brief aside: This is often cited as a reason to interpret Moist as having ADHD, which I'm also fully on board with. Not coincidentally, narcolepsy and ADHD share a few symptoms, have a notable comorbidity rate, and are treated with some of the same medications. Source.)

So again, if you're already inclined to read Moist as narcoleptic, the following is an easy jump:

"Moist thinks he's good at sleeping in strange places under strange circumstances. This is because A) his basis for comparison is a disordered attempt to sleep in normal places under normal circumstances, B) something about danger satisfies his brain into running more smoothly, and C) he's a resourceful person who is 'not given to introspection,' and so is less likely to wonder why his body demands sleep at strange times and more likely to focus on finding a place for that sleep to happen, and chalk this up later as a skill."

And returning briefly to EDS: Why would someone like Moist waste time finding a safe place to sleep while people are actively trying to kill him? At the beginning of GP, he leaves Vetinari's office and immediately goes on the run. In multiple books, when he feels threatened, his brain instinctively launches into complex escape plans. We see him successfully blend into an Ankh-Morpork crowd at least once after becoming a public figure.

So why bother? After all, a safe place to sleep is also a safe place to change clothes, or at least remove whatever distinguishing features he's given himself. Why wouldn't he just become someone else and leave town immediately?

The obvious answer is that sometimes things just happen, and an author doesn't need to know or explain every single detail of a character's past.

I would suggest, though, that one of those things might be Moist reaching a point where sleep is just not optional. A point where he not only doesn't, but can't, care about anything else. Where he is too tired to think straight, too tired to talk his way out of trouble, too tired to even contemplate the long journey from one town to the next.

2. "Moist knew he ought to get some sleep, but he had to be there, too, alive and sparkling."

Sometimes (especially in combination with underlying mental health issues) narcoleptic sleep deprivation can bypass everything I've described so far, and lead straight into a manic state. You won't necessarily find that on Google, but it's been my experience.

That's obviously not what the text is implying. "Alive and sparkling" is just a very relatable description. And we do often see Moist getting away from himself, speaking without thinking, making absurd promises that he justifies immediately afterwards as Just Part Of Being Him, always raising the stakes.

And here are a couple of excerpts from Raising Steam that could be interpreted as Moist being a light sleeper, AKA struggling to get deep sleep:

1. "And slowly Moist shut down, although a part of him was always listening to the rhythm of the rails, listening in his sleep, like a sailor listening to the sounds of the sea."

2. "All Moist's life he'd managed to find a way of sleeping in just about every circumstance and, besides, the guard's van was somehow the hub of the train; and although he didn't know how he did it, he always managed to sleep with half of one ear open."

Moist is exactly the kind of opportunist to see that as a useful tool, isn't he?

III. Hypnagogic and Hypnopompic Hallucinations.

These are hallucinations that come on as you're falling asleep or waking up. They can also happen during REM intrusions while you're awake. My most memorable ones include piano notes, someone calling my name, being trapped in the waves of a large body of water, and a huge truck going over a guard rail and tumbling down a hill. These are often, but not always, accompanied by sleep paralysis (and sleep paralysis is often, but not always, accompanied by hallucinations).

In GP, Moist casually cites his own hallucinations as proof that what is happening at the post office is not one.

"They're all alive! And angry! They talk! It was not a hallucination! I've had hallucinations and they don't hurt!"

Obviously that's not true for everyone, but it's true for Moist, and he has enough experience that he immediately recognizes the difference.

At one point while awake, Moist "[snaps] out of a dream of chandeliers" to realize someone has approached him to talk, while he was busy having visions of what the post office used to look like/could look like again.

Now, that's cheating, because we're probably supposed to assume it's a side effect of being possessed, but... I'm putting it here anyway.

There is also perhaps a case to be made for the tendency of Moist's internal monologue to lapse into extremely specific and prolonged hypotheticals. The lines between hallucinations, waking dreams, and "regular" daydreams have always been very blurry to me. I'm especially curious about the example at the end of Going Postal, which goes like this:

"Look, I know what I'm like," he said. "I'm not the person everyone thinks I am. I just wanted to prove to myself I'm not like Gilt. More than a hammer, you understand? But I'm still a fraud by trade. I thought you knew that. I can fake sincerity so well that even I can't tell. I mess with people's heads—"

"You're fooling no one but yourself," said Miss Dearheart, and reached for his hand.

Moist shook her off, and ran out of the building, out of the city, and back to his old life, or lives, always moving on, selling glass as diamond, but somehow it just didn't seem to work anymore, the flair wasn't there, the fun had dropped out of it, even the cards didn't seem to work for him, the money ran out, and one winter in some inn that was no more than a slum he turned his face to the wall—

And an angel appeared.

"What just happened?" said Miss Dearheart.

Perhaps you do get two...

"Only a passing thought," said Moist.

In-universe... what is Adora reacting to? What did just happen? The fact that these incidents are not isolated to Going Postal is a point against it being some sort of literal timeline divergence caused by The Spirit Of The Post.

So maybe Moist visibly zoned out. Maybe he had some kind of minor but noticeable cataplexy attack (more on those later) as part of a REM intrusion, brought on by the intense emotions he's currently struggling with.

IV. Vivid Dreams.

Again, at least some of this is probably supposed to be part of the possession, but I've been professionally projecting myself onto the surreal dreams of magically afflicted characters for years. Do try this at home.

1. "Moist dreamed of bottled wizards, all shouting his name. In the best tradition of awaking from a nightmare, the voices gradually became one voice, which turned out to be the voice of Mr. Pump, who was shaking him."

2. Moist is uneasy about the Smoking Gnu's plan, and then he has an extremely detailed dream about the Grand Trunk burning down.

This culminates in "Moist awoke, the Grand Trunk burning in his head," followed by a paragraph of him thinking things through and starting to form his own alternative plan, followed immediately by "Moist awoke. He was at his desk, and someone had put a pillow under his head."

So he fell asleep at his desk, woke up from a vivid nightmare, was awake just long enough for a coherent train of thought, and then passed back out. Which once again is not "proof" of anything, but fits the predetermined interpretation like a glove.

V. Cataplexy.

Cataplexy is a sudden loss of muscle control, usually triggered by strong emotions. This is thought to be a facet of REM intrusion—waking instances of the atonia that is meant to stop us from acting out our dreams.

The most well-known manifestation is laughter making your knees buckle, but it's not always that severe. My own attacks range from facial twitching, usually when I'm angry or otherwise extremely upset, to all-over weakness/immobilization and near-collapse when I laugh. My knees have fully buckled once or twice.

This is the biggest stretch. This is the one that is absolutely only there if you've already decided to read entire novels between the lines. It's also not even necessary for the broader headcanon; plenty of people have narcolepsy without cataplexy (or such mild cataplexy that it's never noticeable, or very delayed onset, etc).

However. I am doing this for fun. So I want him to have it. It's also become a major part of how I imagine Moist engaging with emotion, and I'd like to make a case for that.

There are a few scattered references to Moist's legs shaking, or being unsteady, or outright giving way, but there's usually an external physical reason, and/or enough psychological shock to justify it without a medical condition.

The most compelling example I've found so far comes from Moist and Adora's conversation about people expecting Moist to deliver letters to the gods.

"I never promised to—"

"You promised to when you sold them the stamps!"

Moist almost fell off his chair. She'd wielded the sentence like a fist.

"And it'll give them hope," she added, rather more quietly.

"False hope," said Moist, struggling upright.

"Almost fell off his chair" at first sounds like casual hyperbole, but then "struggling upright" implies it was a bit more literal. It's also an accurate description of me recovering from my more severe attacks, supporting myself on a wall or my spouse, or pushing myself up if I've fallen over in bed.

That happens to me multiple times per day, by the way. It doesn't bother me, and I didn't realize there was anything unusual about it for a long time. I barely think about it, except to fondly note that my spouse is good at making me laugh.

Which is to say, even severe cataplexy is not always noticeable or debilitating. Sometimes it absolutely is! It can be downright dangerous, depending on where you are, what you're doing, and whether you have any other conditions it might exacerbate. I don't want to undermine that.

I am just hell-bent on justifying the idea that this fictional character could have repeated attacks throughout the canonical narrative that are so routine they don't merit an explanation, or even a description. Especially for someone who is used to hiding his few distinguishing features behind false ones that are much more memorable. (See also.)

(That link goes to my own fanfic. Sorry.)

On the milder side, between Going Postal and Making Money, there are three instances of Moist's mouth "dropping open" when he's shocked, upset, confused, or some combination of the three. This is the kind of thing that shows up a lot in fiction, but rarely happens so literally in real life.

(There's technically a fourth instance, but I'm not counting it because it seems to be a deliberate choice on his part to convey surprise.)

And then there's laughter. Or rather, there isn't. I could be missing something, but I've searched all three books for instances of laughter and various synonyms (not counting spoken "Ha!"s), and what I've come up with is:

Moist laughs once in Going Postal, when he receives the assignment for the race to Genua.

Two packages were handed over. Moist undid his, and burst out laughing.

There's also an instance earlier in the book where Moist nearly "burst[s] out laughing."

I find the specifics here interesting, and, for our purposes, fortuitous. Cataplexy is complicated and presents differently for everyone. In my case, when laughter triggers an attack, one of the effects (which is sometimes also a cause) is that I laugh very hard, with little or no control. "Burst out laughing" is quite apt.

Let's move on to Making Money, and start with a quick tangent:

Mr. Bent explains that he has no sense of humor due to a medical condition, and that he isn't upset about this and doesn't understand why people feel sorry for him.

Moist immediately starts in with "Have you tried—" before getting cut off by the frustrated Bent.

Out-of-universe, "Have you tried" is such a well-known refrain to anyone with an incurable condition, I'm not at all surprised to find it in a book written by someone who had at least begun the process that would lead to a diagnosis of early-onset Alzheimer's. And Pratchett has certainly never shied away from portraying ignorance in his protagonists.

In-universe, it feels a little odd. Moist's tongue runs away from him all the time, but usually in the form of making ridiculous claims or impossible promises. Moist's entire stock-in-trade is People Skills, and it feels strange for him to make this kind of mistake immediately after being told Mr. Bent is not looking for solutions.

But if one were reading with, for instance, the idea in mind that Moist himself has an incurable condition related to laughter and is enthusiastic about, but still relatively new to, the practice of drawing on his own experiences to help people... it is easy to imagine the gears in his head turning the wrong way, superimposing those experiences over the tail end of Mr. Bent's explanation. Disabled people are not immune to these well-meaning pitfalls.

There is another Mr. Bent moment that I want to discuss, but we'll circle back around to it later.

I found two instances of Moist himself laughing in MM.

1. "He said it with a laugh, to lighten the mood a little."

This is deliberate laughter, employed as a social tactic. A polite chuckle, probably. Not the sort of thing that generally triggers cataplexy.

2. "Moist started to laugh, and stopped at the sight of her grave expression."

The first and only involuntary laugh in MM. It doesn't always trigger attacks...

Which brings us to Raising Steam. Compared to the first two books, Moist laughs a lot here. I count nine instances. Two of them are "burst out laughing"s, a couple include him as part of a group, some of it comes off as deliberate, and some of it doesn't.

I've always seen a lot of... rage in Raising Steam. Combing through it for laughter, I realized Moist's emotions in general are much closer to the surface here, and he's much less concerned about letting people see them. He laughs with friends and acquaintances, he cries in front of strangers, he shouts at Harry King, he has that entire conversation with Dick that boils down to "I'm very worried about you," etc.

Opinions vary wildly and sharply on Raising Steam. I have my own hangups with it, as I do with most books in the series. (Every time I make a new Discworld post, Tumblr passive-aggressively suggests the tag "my kingdom for a discworld character who is normal about women and other species.")

But I like this particular change in Moist, and I choose to see it as character development. He's trading in the professional detachment of a conman for the ability to grow into himself as a person and make meaningful connections.

So, what does that have to do with cataplexy? A lot.

I don't want to get too maudlin, so I'll just say I have plenty of personal experience with emotional repression masking cataplexy symptoms. And so, I believe, does the version of Moist we've put together over the course of this post.

Which brings us back to Making Money, and Mr. Bent. He says something about Moist that I find very interesting: "I do not trust those who laugh too easily."

Unless I've missed something, at that point in the book, Moist has never actually laughed in front of him. And Mr. Bent is a man who pays very close attention to details.

So, what is the in-universe explanation for this? I'd like to propose that Moist is very skilled at seeming to laugh, without actually laughing. He smiles, he's friendly, and he makes other people laugh, which is another thing Bent dislikes about him. He gives the impression of being someone who laughs a lot. (He certainly left that impression on me; I was very surprised by the lack of examples in the first two books.)

Even staying strictly within the bounds of canon, it's easy to imagine why this might have become part of Moist's camouflage in his previous life. He wasn't looking to get attached to anyone, and he didn't want anyone getting inside his head. Engaging with people genuinely enough to laugh at their jokes would run counter to both of those things, but some of his personas still needed to come off as friendly and sociable.

Still working within the canon, it makes sense to assume he's similarly distanced himself from emotion in general. He sits in a cell for several weeks without truly believing he's going to die. He's bewildered when Mr. Pump points out that his schemes have hurt innocent people. He has no idea what to do with his feelings for Adora. Etc.

Interpreting Moist as having cataplexy adds an extra element of danger. Moist thrives on danger, but there's a difference between the thrill of a con and the threat of sudden, uncontrollable displays of vulnerability. And so it becomes even easier to see him stifling his own emotional capacity.*

We meet Moist at a moment of great upheaval. He is forcibly removed from his cocoon of false identities, and pushed out into the world as himself. And we are shown and told throughout Going Postal that he does not know how to be himself. (See also.)

He is repeatedly stymied by his own emotions. He gets tongue-tied and confused around Adora, he snaps at Mr. Pump, he lashes out at Mr. Groat, he gets lost in school flashbacks when he meets Miss Maccalariat. This thread continues in Making Money, where the sudden reappearance of Cribbins immediately rattles him into making an uncharacteristic mistake.

I called him Cribbins! Just then! I called him Cribbins! Did he tell me his name? Did he notice? He must have noticed!

Later in the same book, Moist misses a crucial opportunity to run damage control on the bank's public image... because he's excited to see Adora.

The Moist of GP and MM is not used to feeling things so deeply. It throws him off his game. I'm not at all suggesting cataplexy is the only (or even primary) reason for that, but I do think there's room for it on both sides of the cause and effect equation.

With or without the cataplexy, I find Moist's relative emotional openness in Raising Steam... really nice. (It's a work in progress. He's still getting a handle on anger.)

Cataplexy just adds another dimension. A physical manifestation of emotional vulnerability, which would have been especially untenable for a teenager on the run. Just one more facet of the real, human, fallible Moist von Lipwig who spent years buried beneath Albert Spangler and all the rest.

Another piece of himself that Moist is growing to understand and accept, as he learns to more comfortably be himself.

The Moist of Going Postal runs into a burning building to save lives without fully understanding why he wants to, and justifies it on the fly as an essential part of the role he's trying to play.

The Moist of Raising Steam mindlessly throws himself under a train to save two children, and then blows up at Harry King about the lack of safety regulations. Freshly traumatized by the murder of several railway workers and his own violent, vengeful response to it, he still offers, in the face of Harry's own grief, to be the one to inform their families. On a long and dangerous journey with plenty of moving parts to think about, he worries about Dick Simnel and the other engineers, and pushes them to take better care of themselves.

He also meets a bunch of kids who nearly derailed a train as part of a childish scheme. His admonishment is startlingly vivid.

"Can you imagine a railway accident? The screaming of the rails and the people inside and the explosion that scythes the countryside around when the boiler bursts? And you, little girl, and your little friends, would have done all that. Killed a trainload of people."

[...]

"I'll square this with the engine driver, but if I was you I'd get my pencil and turn any clever ideas you have like this into a book or two. Those penny dreadfuls are all the rage in the railway bookshops."

Maybe what he is also saying, between the lines, is:

I left home at 14 and began a life of smoke and mirrors. I was empty inside, and I thought everyone else was, too. It was all fun and games, and then a man made of clay told me I was killing people. Nip it in the bud, child. Write books.

------------

*There are studies suggesting that in addition to deliberately employed "tricks," people with cataplexy may experience physiological reactions in the brain meant to inhibit laughter. (Source 1, Source 2.)

Most of the information here is way over my head, but that second link also says "one region of the brain called the zona incerta (meaning 'zone of uncertainty') was only activated during laughter in people with narcolepsy, not in controls. Research on the zona incerta in animals suggests that it also helps to control fear-associated behavior."

The linked article about that (https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-018-03581-6) is also over my head, but I would certainly describe Moist von Lipwig as having unusual fear responses.**

**Narcolepsy is a fun roller-coaster ride of constant scientific discoveries about exactly which parts of your brain are paying too much attention, not paying enough attention, or trying to eat each other.

#moist von lipwig #narcolepsy #discworld #disabled headcanons #oh my god this got so out of hand #earned itself a title AND a subtitle #mr. cybulskis i'm sorry i fell asleep in your class every day it was at the exact wrong time and temperature and lighting

[atomiclightcycle]

C!Wilbur lovepost

Decided to write up some thoughts from discord because C!Wilbur is a really good character in my opinions for a bunch of reasons and i love him very much.

C!Wilbur's mental illness hits so hard personally because of the way I go through it, and the way people react to it. Just the endless thoughts that never ever stop and every doubt you have. It feels like you are losing everything and nothing will ever be okay again, and you want to die so bad because there’s nothing left for you but also you have to grapple with how much you have to hurt everyone because you love them so much and you don't deserve them so you know you’re going to hurt them which just makes you feel shitter.

 The paranoid thoughts that never end and you kinda know it’s not true so you feel like you’re going crazy but it feels so real and its terrifying and its worst when people confirm that because you weren’t wrong and it’s going to happen again and there nothing you can do to stop it but also people on the outside don’t see and don’t believe you so it’s so incredibly isolating. Also the shame in it all like you should be stronger than his you and that you are better than this. Also the way people treat you as well like its different and you can tell like either they don’t get it and they’re really harsh and it gets in your head and reinforces that they hate you or they are nicer which makes you feel even more pathetic and worthless, or they are scared of you not because you would ever hurt them like intentionally but because it’s scary seeing someone you love so sick and nobody wants to be the person to push them over the edge and they don’t know what to say.- this is why it’s so harmful to assume that has an abuser because tommy is scared of him despite him never having abused him. Like at points I was so scared I had abused my little sister and didn't know despite that not making any sense and nobody having said that, turns out she was nervous around me and avoiding me for the reasons above.

 Also, the way you lash out and say things you regret because you’re so fucking scared, and it feels like everyone wants to hurt you. Then if you start getting better it’s like you ruined everything yourself and there's nothing left for you and it’s all your own fault.

 Like c!Wilbur is such a good and accurate portrayal of all this and the way people demonize him for it is kinda shitty (am I not saying that he should be excused for his actions however his illness is not a bad action but a condition he can not help but have), but on a more positive note its such good writing on the part of cc!Wilbur.

I’m also very fond of c!Wilbur’s positive traits that are so often ignored. C!Wilbur cares so much and so deeply about others and it’s so frustrating that people erase that because of manipulation,  even the worst stuff he has done was to help others like the destruction of l'manberg was because he convinced himself that the thing he had put so much effort in could only hurt people anymore because of him, and him manipulating tommy now was because he cares for him and after everyone else has left he feels he need him to stay like he cares so much.

Another thing I find is often ignored is c!Wilbur’s trauma. He was in the control room with his actual son and two other teenagers who were all there in part of him and he also trusted eret so much, borderline romantically- that was where his paranoia started or at least got worse, after the control room he was willing to lose it all and give up. Then presidency wasn't great either because he was suddenly responsible for everyone else and putting so much effort in and crying himself to sleep every night, but it didnt seem like anyone cared or listened to him. So, he hosted an election which was basically asking does anyone like me, and has his son and close friend run against him and lost so that feel like that question was answered with a no, then as he is running for his life he dies in front of everyone while tommy the only person he can trust for sure now is in danger and that’s all before pogtopia.

The day people stop acting like Wilbur never cared about l'manberg is the day I die happy as it so clear he did, his plot line wouldn’t really make sense if he didn’t.

Wilbur soot is the onliest character ever, he has got a cool aesthetic, he’s good representation of mental health and what it’s like to live with that, he’s got a dynamic relationship with morality, he’s not a perfect dad but he’s a good dad, he’s wrong a lot but you can see his perspective, he’s got a cool design, he has an interesting way of having his pov shown, the things he does makes sense, he’s try to get better despite how hard that is, he care about other, good sense in fashion, he’s fun, he’s engaging, and he’s fun to think.

I often feel like c!Wilbur has just been mistaken for jd at times especially now with the putting cigarettes out on tommy angst, like nothing against jd but that's not c!wilbur. L'manberg was not destroyed to send a message it was destroyed because he thought it was hurting people. He doesn't treat tommy like JD treats veronica, besides the obvious, he is not abusive towards tommy and his possessiveness is out of fear instead of a naturally controlling nature.

Another way I dislike the fandoms portrayal is with the red eyes trend as it weirdly ableist and dehumanizing. Also, on a personal note Wilbur’s character has black eyes and i have pretty much black eyes and want to see more characters with them lmao. A cool suggestion I have seen for the red eyes are some red heart glasses which I personally like because I own some and holy shit they are so cool and gender. After everything he deserves this, and we should let him heal in style. Another headcanon I like is when wilbur goes through redemption, tommy gifts him a blue beanie made out of friends wool which I really like as it makes them matching with tommy and the cardigan people uses.  Both of these headcanons come from l’manbur apparently but I heard them from @the-redeemed-anon​   who is a member but i'm not sure if she personally came up with them.

Personally i feel as tommy has been clairifed, i think wilbur should be hippified. So below for i think crimeboys should be fanonized /j

^^^wilbur

^^tommy 

also btw i've decided 💛 is my emoji for crime boys because tommy is golden boy and wilbur is yellow, blue is also very nice because blue= l'manberg and friend but I like yellow

Anyway in conclusion

#dream smp #wilbur soot #c!wilbur #c!wilbur pos #tw mental health venting #tw victim blaming #long post #death mention #discussions of trauma #atomicpost