#also they work better as part of a dynamic could be circled i just didnt do that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ethotv-archived · 2 years

Note

Would love to hear about the playlist

i love you. im going to put this under a cut bc it will get VERY LONG so. here it is. ultimate ethubs playlist autism (and heres a link to the playlist if you want to listen to it :3)

fair warning a lot of these songs are. love songs. which leads to a more romantic leaning interpretation but you can ignore those parts if you want, i didnt make this playlist with a platonic OR romantic version in mind i just picked songs

OBVIOUS BLASÉ: yeah this song is in the playlist twice FOR GOOD REASON. its the life series etho song of all time you will never find another one like it (it even fits dl but i wont mention that here. sorry). its first in the playlist bc its about ethos feelings on 3rd life because the entire song is about fire and literally playing with matches. i wont go on a 3l etho rant but yeah its very important. the playlist title comes from it! im not gonna bring up specific lyrics here bc they have more impact LATER in the playlist

THE LIGHTHOUSE: bringing back the fire lyrics YAYYYY ^_^ i think this might be the least connected song in the entire playlist but i had to include it bc i love it. just read the lyrics here i dont have a lot to say on them but i really needed to put a song in before bdubs turns red so this one is about them not knowing if this alliance will work out but going for it anyway <3

PARADISE LOST: oh my god ethubs song soooo so so mcuh i have to go through this with specific lyrics because i have to go indepth. this one is right after bdubs goes red for reference

obvious connections here - theyve knwon each other for so long they end up teaming and running in circles around eachother they cant stay away. also "yellow fades to blue" is a reference to a different song but to me if you replace blue with red its about them having the same dynamic as always until bdubs going red messes with it

do i have to. explain this. "cant bring myself to cut ties i know you better than anyone" i cant say anything more. themcore. they cant escape eachother no matter what and they DONT WANT TO

ok almost done with this song but THIS is about how etho is the boogeyman when bdubs goes red. also "will i survive its so hard to tell" screams and cries forever. etho keeping bdubs in the snow fort was "selfish" int hat he SHOULD kick bdubs out but he desperately doesnt want to but also it helps protect him from reds AND gave him a way to get a boogey kill

CLEAN CUT HEALS: im sorry for putting so many songs from one album in a row like this it just. worked out so well? another song about the snowfort split yeah yeah im predictable

they both KNOW they need to split but they dont want to even if it hurts more like this. i dont really have much more for this song EXCEPT the bridge. because while this song is etho pov the BRUDGE.

^ bdubs pov. right in the middle. im too reckless baby..... not much to say. but i had to bring it up so everyone knows

WITH ME TONIGHT: BDUBS SONG. BDUBS SONG. hes trying to win etho over to the red side hes wants it so badly but it isnt working. ignore the parts about it being unrequited it IS ok it is but not every song is perfect. i think it could be taken as bdubs exaggerating to make etho feel bad though

i wish they had killed eachother at least once so i could make this fit even more but.. well im glad they didnt also. + foreshadowing in that last line about how wanting to be with etho will kill him. i would just put screenshots of more lyrics here too but i dont want to reach image cap by adding things just to look at. listen to the song

EMPTY WITH YOU: [dies][dies][dies]

bdubs song begging etho to go red with him. hes bargaining so much by appealing to how much fun they can have as long as theyre TOGETHER. they could take down the whole server! soooo them so so so them. have cried listening to this one

COME UNDONE: "skeppy this is the third song about bdubs wanting etho to go red" ok and. they fit. theyre good. this one ESPECIALLY because it has ties to 3rd life (on yellow, i couldnt do anything. but now thats im red- im a weapon). also connects to etho being boogey

he wnats etho to go red but hes constantly turned down despite being able to TELL etho wants it too. also fire motifs. endless fire motifs. youll be seeing a lot of songs from this album bc its the most redlife bdubs album ever written

GREENER WITH THE SCENERY: cycles and loops and endlessly going through the same situations without seeing an end.... this song is etho after bdubs goes red for the 3rd time.

etho is frustrated that no matter how hard he tries to get bdubs back on yellow he isnt able to stop him going red again and again but he knows he'll keep trying. also do you know how much i would kill for an ethubs lifeswap that couldve made this so much more impactful but WHATEVER. its still good

BLOODY NOSE: bdubs is back!!! we've reached the river confrontation and life exchange deal.. yeah theres a lot of songs about this too because i feel a lot about it. bdubs knows he isnt going to survive this mission but he also knows its his only chance and he cant back out now because he will NEVER get etho down to red with him, even if he'd prefer being red together than yellow

he LIKES being red and how it feels to have that, even if hes going to die. also the dancing reference to fuel my personal insanity that i might go into some other day. + this song has "even on my worst nights i never stop the sunrise" which i take as a little nod to his sleep thing on hc

MEN ARE ALL THE SAME: oh my god. oh my god. bdubs after coming to terms with the fact he'll die here is bitter towards etho but also doesnt want him to be mad that he couldnt make it back. im going in depth on the lyrics here bc i REALLY LIKE THIS SONG AS A BDUBS ONE

obviously we start with the 3rd life reference because who am i if not a 3l etho insanitybot. hes reminiscing on their weird relationship in 3l and their weird fighting but not fighting thing they had. hes asking etho not to question why he likes being red so much and why he couldnt stay yellow for him and THEN the ultimate hit of the last 4 lines - if you love it then let it go (let bdubs prove himself and win a life back) but he knows etho likely wont be able to find out the full circumstances behind his death. (also a meta reference to how bdubs footage got corrupted. lol). but dont blame him for not being good enough... this song is so much. so much. hes bitter but hes scared and hes resigned

bdubs knows etho isnt going to win this on his own despite being known for his isolation. its easier to leave on a suicide mission than to continue trying to win etho over knowing itll never work

sorry i said some of the songs are explicitly romantic but you can take it figuratively - he never gets to say a true goodbye, forced to pretend he'll come back (isnt it a trope that people who leave on dangerous journeys wont say goodbye because "theyre coming back"? yeah. that)

TAKE IT AWAY: etho doesnt want bdubs to die he DOESNT. he wants to get him back no matter what but he isnt willingly to risk his own safety for it, because he hasnt fully processed that if he doesnt help bdubs hes out forever (i thought we would be together and everything would be ok again). FIRE MOTIFS ARE BACK!

i dont have coherent thoughts on this. take my hand take my life.. also unrelated but even the little intro sample thing fits because to me its etho questioning what he'll do without bdubs

MEANT TO DIE: [bursts into tears] bdubs... song..........

hes dead and hes out forever and he DIDNT WANT THIS he knew he was going off to die but he still tried his best his last words were crying out to etho. yes he made bad decisions as a red and bit off more than he could chew but he TRIED.

OBVIOUS BLASÉ (AGAIN): so. how do you feel now.

it is so hard for me to put how i feel about this song into words. while after 3l its his regret at not winnign and all that hes lost by this point it has entirely new meaning. "ghost, tell me that youll stay" is AGONISING bc bdubs DOES stay as a ghost, the only person in the series to do that. etho knows bdubs would prefer him with that bloodlust. and he knows its HIS FAULT that bdubs is dead, for not just giving him the life right there

they both knew it couldnt end well and they did it anyway. while in 3l etho was LITERALLY playing with fire and got burned in turn, this time merely pairing with bdubs was enough to doom him since they would never stay together forever and now he has to try get over that while still winning. bittersweet... (i didnt win it for you but you didnt win it for me either). yeah take this song away from me

ALL THAT IVE GOT: just. just. look at this. please ignore the gay sex implications the song isnt even about gay sex

i dont. i dont know what to add here really. etho struggling after bdubs dies and not knwoing what to do without him.. he forgets bdubs isnt with him and he just. doesnt know how to cope. this song is a lot but i cant even articulate it just LOOK AT IT. oh my god. its all that he can do

WATERED DOWN: we made it. finally. this took so much of my time. i actually dont have a lot of specific lyrics for this one because its just. more vibes than anything? just finishing off the playlist with more etho not knwoing how to live in ll without bdubs and then. like dying i guess. at this point im very tired listen to the playlist. how are you this far without listening to it please do

#mailing list #ITS DONE. THIS HURT ME MENTALLY. everyone tell me im cool now this is literally me crying about ethubs for however many words #imgoing to lie down now this took. an hour and a half #well no i elft for half an hour. so it took about an hour total

4 notes · View notes

roguestarsailor · 3 years

Text

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is).

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo???

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too! but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her??? i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too.

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand 2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird.

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

109 notes · View notes

misterbitches · 3 years

Text

i live in a universe where if i were to walk down the street i could get murdered willy nilly cos im black but men are out here going around being like “my boyfriend and i met when he was a junior in high school” i don’t believe in jail and i try not to make jail jokes but HOW IS THAT FAIR? JAIL!!! GUILLOTINE!!!! GET THIS MAN A RETIREMENT FUND AND A THERAPIST

that dialogue was fucking embarrassing. he shoulda just said “im 12 yrs older than him” no one needs to know u were 30 dating a 17 year old u insecure freak. retire bitch and get away from her

i wanted muren so badly to be like “LMAO SRY didnt mean to seem surprised i just like men my own age i guess?” i wouldnt have even apologized if i was surprised. my friend was dating someone ten yrs younger than him and i made fun of him for it and he was like “i know” bc he does know.

just a tip: i don’t like getting hit on by men way older than me, a lot of people don’t. i’ve had men who are 36 interested in me when i was 23, and i reciprocated, but now as i am 29 and older i realize how much it confused me and how i didn’t like it.

age gaps are what they are. ther’es many times i do not like it especially if it is a pattern (this is what happens in tv shows and movies and the opposite of that isn’t gay age gaps or power imbalances or women much older than a younger man ok that’s not progress it’s just peopl ewanting to be like cis men and no one wants that) and esp if the person’s peers are all their ages. people seem to forget that we travel in the same social circles on purpose due to our environments and also our world experiences. the only way to meet an older man is outside of school and yet adults can’t seem to control themselves?

i saw this person who was one of the editors of sexual hegemony (a book on capitalism and homophobic laws and sex basically idk google it it’s interesting) and he was trying to have a foucultian outlook (i hate focault btw doesn’t mean what he says wasnt interesting but it does mean i am not okay with psychosexual philosophers who take advantage of people. the only testament against him having reltaions with younger people is a bunch of young people i nfucking tunisia and there’s an excuse that he wasn’t a fucking pedophile he was those ebebebbeopopopo people and it doesnt matter when ur in fucking tunisia as a white french algerian fucking preying on children) how age of consent laws desexualize younger people. they were passed for abunch of reasons like any law but here is the thing

we have no business in being in spaces to determine children’s sexual identity and teenagers in their own realm. THEY need to figure it out. our job as adults is to PROTECT THEM full stop. not intrude on their lfe and not give them the tools to decide for themselves. age of consent laws are meant to protect not to facilitate children against some boogeyman of sex. the issue is the way our society views it but young people are sexual AS YOUNG PEOPLE. it has NOTHING to do with adults and it shouldn’t. that’s why it is extra fucking intrusive when you are literally wedged into someone’s life who you have no business being around. it’s only by fucking circumstance. it’s abysmal and not cute.

what this tells me is that the age gap is salacious. not in the way that i was 23 and a man was 36. in the way that he was 17 and this dude was 29. that’s interesting right? it’s “oooh” and it means we shouldn’t balk at it. saying 12 years would have sufficed, raises some eyebrows, and we can figure out the dynamics after but you just had to put that in BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LIKE IT but the thing is there’s no part of it that was fun. i’m just going to assume you like fucking teenagers bc that’s what it’s telling me lmao

i rarely talk about this couple but to put them in my eyeballs and then have that stupid conversation it was insulting lmao god please get a fucking script supervisor fuck but none of them care about sotry or any of what i fucking laid out. how stupid and careless and just unfun. i don’t like it. also ew at the idea of 2 tops and 2 bottoms talking oh my god i am gonna give myself a heart attack i’m already so fucking anxious i have to see my family lemme chill

im 29 and feel bad having a crush on a 23 year old CELEBRITY ok and i SHOULD feel ashamed and it’s not even a big deal that’s how everyone should approach life tbqh u walk around like ur 100 yrs old to avoid children. oh what’s that this korean cebrity learned english and moved to america to start a family with me and i find him very hot and i like his voice but we’re 6 years apart i’m not sure if i would work (how fun of a drama would that be. pointless and ridiculous. i love it.)

oh there’s a great review on CMBYN and its history and how the isolation and seeclusion was so fuckign capitalist bougie patriarchy and yea idk if anyone is interested. i think it’s ironic the ending for the people in CMBYN irl bc it’s just. so indicative of this shit. i dont like guadignino (idk is that how u spell his name) and think he’s not a great....person or director (i love the look of suspiria tho likke visually and edited. the DP was thai btw! he did an amazing job!!!) but it critiques this film from a perspective of someone who clearly at least cares about artistry, no matter how poorly i think he executes it, and just how hollow it is. the thing about “escapism” is that it relies on the harsh realities of the world to make it opposite, everything has context, nothing is apolitical. to make something that exists in a vacuum is negligent and it doesn’t help you escape it makes you even more tied to this world and its flaws because it doesn’t do anything to mitigate it.

people view it as like “we can put something stupid on screen and people have to accept it in this world” but that isn’t how IT WORKS. you hvae to build up the stakes of the world. but i can’t see introducing some “taboo” (see: stupid) elements and pretending the escapism is seeing this and allowing it. how could it be when the problem is the nature of the rship itself? what world are you taking us to? and why does this world ignore the pressing realities? and i wouldnt say either of these are explicit escapism (i think i hate that word now) becuase um they arent. this fantastical generally rich people escapism isn’t about bending things that don’t work to mold it into our society because WE DO THAT ALREADY it’s about taking those things and twisting them to something we can accept and like or something that has real consequences for people. it’s so funny how marketing and the idea of pc culture and shit and conservative ideology seeps into these. they have an explicit interest in holding the status quou of taking advantage of people and using their power; age is a huge structure to do so. in this society when we struggle why would its existence not be challenged? because rape, ridiculous rships, abusive rships, torture etc is a power move, conservatives rest on it and people who gain power. what about that is appealing? making it gay? well, no. especially because men DO have power.

every fucking thing in BL is a reflection of of patriarchy honestly. i can admit that and i’m not okay with it but it’s consumption. there’s a way to make this decent or entertaining without it being so fucking poorly done. and atp i dont even want to call things bl it’s a tv show just bc it’s for a certain audience doesnt mean anything do better idiots

#i am soooooo #history 4 #history 4: close to you #history 3 #history 3: make our days count

12 notes · View notes

laiqart · 4 years

Text

The Untamed vs MDZS Anime: Which is better?

Going to japan now. Currently in the plane. The in flight tv is broken. So... ive been watching mdzs on youtube!

Hot damn the animation is beautiful. Every frame is a work of art. How the hell. Its so beautiful. I mean they use 3D a lot for the backgrounds and boats but its still gorgeous and not too jarring. The lighting is so realistic, scenery too. All the fighting choreography is beautiful. The way the swords swing in the air looks so fluid, and when swords clash its in flashes of light the color of their sword. Such a tasteful yet stylistic choice. Everyone's, esp wwx, hair is so flowy, so detailed every strand sways in the wind. The waves reflect light and move smoothly. How the hell did they do that. How. I was thinking of doing those screencap redraw thingy with the scene when wwx whacks lwj's boat. (they also emphasised how far lwj's boat was sinking into the water, which makes it more convincing how wwx can deduce that theres something underneath vs the live action where lwj's boat looked normal..) it was damn beautiful. The thing is, the point of these redraws is that the animation looks simple, so the redraw would enhance the scene. But for mdzs, everything is already in peak quality, redrawing it will only look worse. Its like writing fanfiction of books. The original writing is so damn beautiful, fan fiction ends up being such a stark difference that the reader cant help but compare the 2.

Drama, as everyone says, shows better facial expressions due to the live actors, so emotions hit harder. But anime def LOOKs way better in all action scenes. Angles that follow the characters are used to emphasise scale between enemy and chracters, and all the movements feel so dynamic, and i love how when they use talisman spell thingies they got a circle of light in an intricate pattern thats super beautiful. In the drama, its just a piece of paper.

However, i prefer drama's lwj. Maybe cos wyb looks so young, its more believable when he freaks out over the adult book that wwx gives him in the library scene. In the anime, he looks 20+-30+. Its a bit hard to believe that he'd be worried over that. Idk theres a kind of innocence and naivety that leads to the stubborn refusal to express emotion that young lwj is plagued with that we have in the untamed (was this intentional on wyb's part or is it because the teenage lwj wig made his eyes look floaty, so he seems more like a teenager and naive, less experienced as a cultivator vs lwj 13 years later? Dk but it works!). In the anime, he looks like an adult thats calm and level headed already from the get-go. Idk maybe i just havent watched enough (only seen up til the water demons in caiyi town). In both anime and drama, everyone and i mean EVERYONE besides the fricking babies looks the same 13/16 years later. It doesn't feel like time has passed at all. I wish they would have maybe a change in costume, or hairstyle in the anime. The drama at least changes their costumes a little and neatens the hairstyle of jiang cheng and lwj to indicate maturity.

Btw i love that in the anime for the water demons section they had wwx and jc casually chatting (though its a blatant cornetto ad which is fricking weird. How can there be frozen treats back in those days), then wwx beautifully catapulting himself onto a boat and rowing away showing the unique and romantic af mode of transport in caiyi town, then smoothly transitioning to the lan bros on the bridge right above them with lwj asking why lxc decided to bring them along. Its just tying together so many scenes, quickening the plot along and yet doing it so naturally and seamlessly compared with the novel and drama.

Though i like that the drama involved wn and wq and have wwx save wn, and makes way more sense why wn would want to risk his life to help wwx recover his parents fricking corpse illegally right under the nose of wen chao and wen zhuliu.

The anime removed the entire mystery plot of a yan and the fairy goddess statue and thats honestly the best best best choice to make. In the drama, it was one of the worse sections ever cos i didnt understand who all these random ass characters were (it was one of the first mysteries in the drama) and yet it didnt go into detail like they did in the novel, so not only did i not know what was going on, i also didnt give a single shit about the characters. When i saw that they completely did away with the random passer bys who screwed around with the fairy statue, i was thoroughly impressed.

I liked that the drama let nhs have his own trouble making moments tho, like having him sneak a live bird into class. It makes it more convincing that wwx would be friends with him because they both have a mischievous side that they can both appreciate in each other. In the anime, nhs just looks like a loser nerd thats weak in swordplay and does wwx's homework for him, without a will of his own. It doesnt make sense why wwx would keep him around. Then again, maybe itll make the reveal that nhs is a conniving mastermind more impactful for the anime, oh well only time will tell.

I liked that lxc and lwj look similar in the anime. Its more convincing when people call them the twin jades of the lan clan. In the drama, they hardly looked like brothers. Lxc looks more like lwj's mentor or teacher rather than an older brother. In the anime, they look more siblingy.

I miss drama wen ning. I rmb when he looked so fierce and terrifying in his first appearance. I was legit intimidated. Oh how hes changed! Hes so fluffy now. In the anime hes equally menacing. His fight scene with the statue goddess was so beautiful. Doesnt it take a long time to animate the chains moving so fluidly yet dynamically yet somehow looks like it can disintegrate rock in an instant? The lighting on it too, how it reflected the fire of the forest around them. Have i mentioned how beautiful having that fight scene at night was? It was dark and ominous looking, yet the fire cast an epic looking light over the scene with warm orange glows. And the animators had that fiery light reflected in anything they could find: eyes, chains, swords.

Ooh but jiang cheng's whip looked prettier in the drama than in the anime, which is kind of weird given they were both cgi-ed. Somehow the lighting of the whip in the drama was brighter, looked more like real lightning vs the whip in the anime looking a little dull, like they colored it then added a gray filter. This is kinda bizarre given the laughably bad effects of the effects for everything else in the drama. Visuals for non human things is not the drama's strong suit, so it makes u wonder what happened for the anime whip. Maybe in the dark, the lightning would have to look hella bright and reflect on the surroundings (tedious to color) more so than in the day, hence why it looked worse in anime vs drama. Oh well.

As for lan sizhui, its weird that his voice is so deep in the anime (and audio drama!). Ive always seen him as a kiddo thanks to the live action, so hearing him sound mature is kinda off-putting. He sounds like a leader, and gives off lwj vibes vs in the live action where he gives a goody two shoes studious nerd vibe, whos just trying his best. Maybe this is better, he feels way more like a lwj-raised child(serious and business-like) which makes more sense. Live action lsz feels like a wwx(optimistic and intelligent) AND lwj(well-behaved and sensible)-raised child. Anime lsz looks like hes got his shit together. Jinling is fairly similar in both, maybe less prideful in the anime (in live action theres the scene where im pretty sure he indirectly kills one of his men by wishing for the fairy goddess statue to come to life. That was a hella asshole move. This was omitted in the anime.) Jingyi in the anime somehow looks snarkier. Maybe cos he straight up duels with jinling and kicks him down a dark cave. Ive been wondering why all the tumblr posts depict ljy as this sassy ass short tempered kid when he was quite tame (though sassy by lan standards) in the live action. Now i know.

The costumes for the drama is better, more detailed though thats expected i guess. I just love that they have little white gusu lan clan uniforms that wwx jc and friendos are required to wear. Its so cute and such a cool detail. In anime, theyre all in their usual garb, and they just look like random people who decided to turn up at lan qirens class. In the drama, it looks more like a school that they have to attend for half a year and it feels characteristic that gusu lan clan would require their students to have a uniform, given their incredibly strict regime type. It also serves to separate the happy carefree school days from all the other tragic af events in wwx's life. His costume starts out white showing innocence and purity of his naiive teenage years who had yet to experience hardship and still feels invincible as a youth. After school, he wears dark blue, as he goes on an adventure with lanzhan and experience how important the yin iron is (gives up the joking light hearted nature as a teenager by realizing the gravity of situation if the wen clan gets their hands on it) and maybe that hes not truly part of the jiang clan who wears purple. Then his costume eventually becomes black as he experiences his first life and death situation that he isnt sure he can handle. That child like assurance that "oh the seniors will let me off" or "im sure jiang fengmian will come to my rescue" gets demolished when he undergoes cruel indoctrination at the wen clans. This visual development may be a bit on the nose, but personally i love subtle representations.

Overall, the anime does do a better of job of explaining the world's mechanics, which is quite important. The drama is quite faithful to the book, at times even more so than the anime, so it irks me that this is the one thing they decide to skim on. The god damn premise, the first thing the audience needs: why the hell is wwx alive again and what is mo xuanyu doing?? I guess the drama thought that it explains itself but it doesnt really. It was really confusing. The anime, though somehow faster than the drama, still has the time to properly explain mxy. A technique ive noticed is that they do exposition during the fight scenes, which is so ingenius. Its visually appealing, as always, so its not boring, the viewers gets to understand whats going on AND it gives the sense that the characters are so skilled that they carry causal conversations while fighting supposedly weak enemies like zombies and water ghosts, which is accurate seeing how wwx and lwj and friends are supposed to be one of the most powerful cultivators.

TL;DR both are good lol

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #lan zhan #lan jingyi #lan xichen #lan wangji #jiang cheng #nie huaisang #lan sizhui #wei ying #jin ling #analysis #rant #thoughts #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo xuanyu

59 notes · View notes

4nimenut · 6 years

Note

do you have any tips on compositions? your compositions in your pieces are so good!!!

Anonymously or not, ask me something you’ve always wondered.

thank you for the ask! (/ω＼) i’m flattered omg thank you ;v; !

i actually answered a similar question here can you believe it’s been two years already LOL but because it’s been a long time, i’ll try to answer this ask a little differently! also because i took a second look at how i answered two years ago and i… honestly was questioning myself afterwards LOL

and honestly i didnt exactly stick to whatever i preached HAHA sweATS

i’m not the best at explaining things but i’ll do my best!

this is my own personal method of how i usually do things so you don’t exactly have to follow this word for word! it’s really just an explanation of how i see things www….ヾ(・∀・；)

generally none of my methods when planning for a composition hasn’t exactly changed much from what i mentioned two years ago, but i think i’ve learnt a thing or two as well over the years; i hope it shows in my recent art as compared to older art! ;w;

to start the ball rolling, we could start on arrangement! ;0

here’s a visual representation of the differences between the visual space of a landscape and portrait orientation (・ω

i,,, usually go for a landscape orientation for the expansive feeling,, there’s also more room for feels to penetrate the visual space,,, or at least that’s my excuse anyway LOL

a landscape orientation emphasises greatly on a horizontal line of action in your works as well, and if you want to think deeper about it, a horizontal line could generally mean stability, a balance of sorts, peace and harmony, even? you could usually use it to express a sense of tranquility, wideness, etc..

in a sense, there’s no alteration of gravity, everyone’s sitting / standing up straight, etc…

as shown below there’s some ways you could create a horizontal line of action…. actually does this even make sense OTL it’s really there just to show the general flow of things

tl;dr i usually use a landscape orientation + horizontal line of action as my starting base whenever i want to create something with feels (∩´∀｀)∩ imagine the amount of expansiveness your feels can tap upon and make your heart ache more ASDFGDFGH

here we can compare the effects of a landscape and portrait orientation (though it might not be a fair comparison LOL)

as you can see, while the portrait orientation does provide a sense of closeness between both of them, the landscape orientation creates a greater sense of openness and greater balance… or is it just me LOL as compared to the tightness in the portrait version. it works too but i would prefer zooming them out even more to provide a greater sense of openness,,, or perhaps this is more of personal preferences hnngh //w//

usually i’d use a portrait orientation + a vertical line of action to show tension! because of the greater constraint in space as compared to a landscape orientation, you’d tend to feel a greater sense of entrapment, and that’s usually what i hope to tap upon when i want to create intense situations ;w;

or otherwise i just use portrait orientations for zine pieces because i’m too tired to do a spread page so i just try to come up with something LOL

but wait! sometimes when you stick to just a horizontal / vertical arrangement of things in general it can get… very boring because of how strictly horizontal / vertical it is LOL ;;;;SWEATS

so here’s my favourite part of this entire post (LOL); the diagonal line of actiooooonnnnn∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

compared to a horizontal line where equilibrium is largely established, a diagonal line expresses a sense of unstability, and the need for movement — in otherwords more dynamic!

tilting your points of view can also provide you with interesting compositions as well because it doesn’t follow the dead equilibrium norm that horizontal / vertical lines usually set and creates a greater sense of action going on in the picture *w*

psst also, when you take on a more diagonal approach, you can fit in more things in the background LOL since usually a diagonal approach takes up the diagonal length of your canvas, leaving more room for… more dynamic stuff AAAAAAAA—

sooo here we can take a look at what usually happens when you tilt your things LOL

taking on a horizontal approach, this halloween skk piece becomes full blown complete angst instead of being simply lowkey angst in the original post why did i not do that when i was working on it LOL while the more diagonal orientation makes everything look as though there’s something more to it instead of simply dynamic movement — it’s as though there’s this force driving a story — or maybe it’s just me overexplaining things.

also i totally didn’t do it to aggravate the height differences between the both of them. nope. not at all.

to put it in a quick summary:

horizontal approach is usually for the harmony / feels / angst / kill me pls

portrait approach is usually for tension

diagonal approach is usually for more dynamic / action / it usually draws more attention towards the piece

or usually i really just yolo and whack and hope it gives people feels

i believe there’s some examples from two years ago about how detailed i can get when coming up with the composition of a piece, but i’ll briefly touch on it again, and with more detail —

when it comes to what to include in your background and how to eventually draw out your piece, you might want to try consider the following:

what kind of setting do you want it to be? and in turn, atmosphere?

what kind of ideas / central theme(s) do you want your piece to reflect?

is your piece inspired by a certain object / item / concept?

for example, in my PM Week Day 1 submission where the theme i chose was Then and Now, i thought that if i was going to do something about soukoku, then i wanted to create a sense of nostalgia, especially the ridiculous banter that they shared four years ago, and are still sharing right now in the canon timeline. the world that they live in remained relatively unchanged, so i settled for the Yokohama cityscape.

the direct reflection of both of them on the wet surface of the floor reflects how both of them are still the same even after four years, even though Dazai may have switched sides. i chose to keep ADA obscured from view instead of PM Dazai because the idea of Dazai back then has already come to pass and set into stone, and is something that will never change, but the current Dazai may have changed, and that’s why i thought it might be better to leave it to the viewer’s inference on the extent of Dazai’s change, physically and emotionally. he might be showing more emotion on his face right now, but we won’t know because it’s hidden from view, but it’s up to you to determine if he really has changed,,, wink,,,

… or so goes my thought processes about this piece, anyway, ww..

usually when it comes to drawing fanart based on fanfics which i do like 99% of the time, i like to consider any other possible objects involved in that one particular scene / just the overall fic in general and try to make a reference to them somehow in the fanart, and determine the mood from there.

for example, in my Muse (chapter 21) fanart where Akira finally kisses Yusuke in the jellyfish tank, i imagined that one moment to be a rather magical moment, especially since the story is told from Yusuke’s point of view, who views the world in a slightly different manner than the rest, hence i was aiming for the magical, ethereal feeling through the jellyfish; as though they’re wisps of spirits circling around the both of them ;w; the fanart is actually viewed from the inside of the jellyfish tank, but because i chose not to make the distinction of the glass / hard plastic surface of the tank, it feels as though the jellyfish that glows in different colours are actually in the scene with them and lighting everything up ///w///

… or that’s how i hope it goes anyway LOL i feel like i’m just rambling about my own artistic thoughts HAHA.

though, these thinking processes mainly come from my own experience from having taken literature and having to analyse things and stuff, so i hope this entire post provides some insight on how i usually put together my compositions and the like ^q^!!

again, you don’t have to take this word for word, but i hope it’s able to provide you with a better insight on how i do my art—! ;w;

and remember to have fun!! (*´ω｀*)

#asks #anon asks #tutorial #long post #i want to die LOL #i hope this helps somewhat!! ;;w;;#Anonymous

17 notes · View notes

survivetashirojima · 4 years

Text

Rites of Passage

The Final 4 had the option to journey into the forest of Tashirojima and reflect upon the torches of the fallen players. Here is what they had to say...

THOMAS

Jay: I dont really remember you at all I'm sorry :(

Kevin: TOM!!! I wanted to work with you so bad I tried to get you online when your name started circling but you just weren’t around and there wasn’t much I could’ve done at all, let alone by myself, but I was really looking forward to working with you and it sucks that got cut short!

Madeleine: To my Dear Thomas, Even though we only talked twice I had a feeling you would be a good person to play with. You were really nice, -Maddie

Ricky: We literalt didn’t speak but i hope ur little engine could.

JULIA

Jay: JULIA! I wish you were active in this game bc we could have RAN IT ahhh I missed you while I wasn't playing ORGS, I'm glad to see you're still around

Kevin: Almost the exact same as Tom, I wanted you to stay for my own personal game but you just weren’t active so I had to ride the waves and they unfortunately took you under, I hope we can again together sometime tho!

Madeleine: Julia, My Montenegro Sister,I feel bad for voting you out so soon, and right after we talked about taking each other to the end. I was torn when voting you out because I wanted to take you far. I wish I could have played with you more, I know you would have been a riot to play with. With Love, Maddie

Ricky: QUEEN IM SO SORRY YOU LEFT SO EARLY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

KENNY

Jay: I don't remember you either sorry :(

Kevin: I don’t believe we ever spoke which was unfortunate but you seemed active in the tribe chat and you were definitely active in challenges, I don’t really know what happened with your vote it just kinda came up like the last 2.

Madeleine: Hello dearest Kenny.We only had 1 conversation so I’m having trouble writing this, but I remember you being real cool bro. Signed Maddie.

Ricky: You were really cool from when we talked but then I went dead sorry boo.

Jay: We didn't talk tooooo much but I hope whatever happened that made you leave the game is ok now

Kevin: I hope everything is ok with you :) not much of an in-game relationship but I did learn a bit about you so that was cool!

Madeleine: JG my dear,I hope everything is okay. I had a lot of fun playing with you. I wished I talked to you more. Good luck at your new job! I’m proud of you for getting it! -Maddie

Ricky: I’m so sorry you had to go the way you did that was a trauma and i hope you’re okay.

DYLAN

Jay: OMG Dylan! We had just started really talking, and then your name was thrown out for the vote :( I really did enjoy our like, one conversation about Taco Bell, but I just wasn't very connected to you :c

Kevin: We got on to a late start but I think you’re absolutely hilarious and you should start a youtube channel please, your intro video is still hilarious to this day. I do wish we got to talking more but I appreciated the few times we spoke they were great!

Madeleine: Dear Dylan,You’re an amazing player, I am happy I got to play with again. I hate to see you go as soon as you did. Even though this was my third time playing with you I can confidently say that you always brought something new and exciting every time I have played with you. You are an exciting player and it was a shame that you had to go so soon. With love, Maddie

Ricky: ROBBED ROBBED ROBBED ROBBED. I will never get over how dirty they did you i cry for you every night.

BRIEN

Jay: Omg you had a few lives in this game that's for sure. Although it didn't seem like you really talked to many people, you were someone that had to go to take some control away from other players

Kevin: Ah man, you were so active in the first like round and then you seemed to have stopped trying or maybe caring moreso for other games, which I get, but we had a good thing going and it just kinda fizzled out which sucks but I think you’re really cool from what I got to know about you!

Madeleine: Greetings Brien, Hello, my sweets. I know when you left the game we were not on the best of terms (trying to vote each other out an all) but I did have a good time playing with you. From Maddie

Ricky: Pennington.

TIMMY

Jay: Heyyyy, I feel like it's a running thing that we just don't communicate in these games at ALL. I know on my side that at this point it was kinda too awkward to say anything, I hope that can be changed in the future

Kevin: We didn’t get to talk a whole lot but you also worked at target so that was really cool, I think our allegiances lined up for a little bit and then they didn’t, so our communication lacked because of it, but I do wish we could’ve connected a little more!

Madeleine: To the lovely Timmy,I loved playing with you again, Kalokairi Krew for life. You were a blast to play with and I hope to play again with you someday soon. We never talked much, but I knew I could count on you. -Maddie

Ricky: The beginning of the ginger genocide.

PAT

Jay: Pat omg we definitely have a bit of a history, don't we? It's a shame that your vote came down to you or one of my other closest allies, I would have LOVED to continue playing with you if that wasn't the case. You're a power player every time I get the chance to play with you and I hope we can continue to be friends after this game is done.

Kevin: Ugh Pat, I reallyyy liked talking to you, you were very chill, you could keep a conversation and I just like what we talked about, things got rocky between us with how the game’s dynamic was around the time you left, which I understand but on a personal level I enjoyed you so much and hopefully we can talk after this game is all said and done!

Madeleine: Patrick dearest, We never talked much. I can’t wait for the day I see your name on the TV and I start hitting my partners (or whoever I’m watching with) arm and freaking out because I know you and watch you win survivor. I believe in you bb. With love, Maddie

Ricky: Sorry you were part of the ginger genocide.

Jay: VI! There's not enough good things I can say about you. You're amazingly fun to talk to, I felt like we got along real well and that our personalities just fit together. You always made me laugh and I wish we could've played more strategically together. Voting you out is really one of my biggest regrets in this game

Kevin: Oh wow, you are so interesting, all your animals and your passion for them and plants is awesome, also the stories you’d told me were kinda crazy but really interesting (sorry to use the same word again) but I guess at some point our one on ones ceased to occur, which sucks cause I would’ve loved to know more about you, but maybe we can pick ‘em back up after this :D

Madeleine: Hello, my dearest Vi,At the beginning, we talked a lot and shared stories, but then I made the stupid mistake of not reaching out anymore, I wish I talked with more, we could have done great things in this game. You are amazing and never stop being yourself, my dear! Signed Maddie

Ricky: I hope your isopods are doing well <3

ANDREW

Jay: Seeing you here was like a total blast from the past! I'm really happy we got to play this game together, on the same side and everything. I'm just happy that I feel like I recemented my friendship with you. I really you could still be in the game right now.

Kevin: ANDREW. Andrew I freaking adore you, I think you’re hilarious, and our sense of humor is pretty similar which makes things 10x funnier, you’re also the youngest and we not only clicked on a personal level but a game level too so it was like a match made in heaven, obviously things went sideways but that’s not indicative of how I feel about you cause I think you’re awesome.

Madeleine: Dearest Andrew, I wish I hadn’t voted you out, final 4 would have been really fun with you! Even though we didn’t talk much I felt as though we had a good connection and alliance. I am sorry for voting you out. You were an amazing player and I am grateful I had the chance to play with you. I can now say I’ve played with the Iconic AndrewTM . Sincerely, Maddie

Ricky: My partner in crime...you were taken away from me and I’m so sorry for that. you know ain’t no words to describe my love for you.

JACOB

Jay: Omg you are HILARIOUS. All of our conversations towards the end of you being in the game were really fun and I wish I made more effort to talk to you during the middle of the game.

Kevin: ugh… jacob… I LOVE YOU and voting you out was shitty but I had to, but you know our minds as crackheady as they are we vibed well, but seriously having you in this game was so nice because you were a fresh of breath air where I could just talk about whatever and say what I felt because I trusted you so much, but yeah through it all I am so sorry but I’m thankful we got to play this game together :)

Madeleine: My dear Jacob,We never talked much. I was delighted to find out you liked New politics as well. I had a blast playing with you! I remember you saying you wish you had a song named after you. Well, it might not be named after you but I found a song called Jacob just for you. Best wishes, Maddie https://open.spotify.com/album/3RGAvvbu5smdrcxZqFIf0U

Ricky: My heart, my baby, my fuckin cinnamon apple. The greatest thing i’m able to take away from this game is talking to you again lol ok bye. 💟

STEPHEN

Jay: Oh Stephen, I know we didnt have the best relationship down the stretch, that much is clear. But otherwise I think you were one of the nicest people here, you were always so fun and uplifting in the tribe chat. I hope we can become better friends in the future.

Kevin: Oh Mr. Stephen to say we had a rollercoaster of a relationship would be an UNDERSTATEMENT, you were here to play and I was here to play and that very reason is exactly what pitted us against each other AND brought us together and I’m so glad you were in this game cause the experience wouldn’t have been the same and you added so much to this game for my personally, in-game and out of it just with your presence. I respect you so much and I hope you don’t hate me too much plz

Madeleine: My dearest Stephen,I’m sorry bitch. I genuinely enjoyed playing with you, our 3-hour tribe call that consisted of the 2 of us spilling alliance tea, and making a connecting is one of my favorite parts of this game. It resides as one of my favourite memories. You were one of my closest allies in this game. I regret voting you out and turning on our alliance. I could write a paper about our relationship in this game, but I’m sure at the end of the year for you you already have enough of those to read from your students, so I shall say this; Your are an amazing friend and were an amazing ally, I am sorry for turning on you. (also you were one of maybe 4 people who talked to me and I love you for that) Best of wishes, Maddie

Ricky: I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk more about australia and i hope you can educate me about the floods and fires more.

JOANNA

Jay: I don't really know what to say other than I'm extremely extremely sorry about how things ended up for you. I should have made more of an effort to work with you I just didn't know what to say after I explicitly betrayed you over and over. I just felt so guilty over it that I just, ignored you instead of facing it head on. And I'm so sorry I did that. I hope we're still friends.

Kevin: Joanna, I voted you for like the person I’d most like to hang out with in real life cause you are just very cool and very nice and overall a really kind person from what I’ve learned about you, you were honest with me early on in this game about my name going around and I attribute me waking up to play this game with that moment, so I am grateful for you on a personal and game level, I REALLY wish things could’ve played out differently I really do, but the cards fell how they did :(

Madeleine: Hello Joanna,I was so excited when I was in the alliance with you, but of course, I mucked it up by flipping. I wish I could have played with you more, and tried to talk to you more, your an amazing girl. Keep playing girl. Best of wishes, Maddie

Ricky: idkkk for some reason i really love you like i’ll never forget saying hello back and forth for 2 weeks straight, thank you for that.

MADISON

Jay: We almost pulled something off at the last minute, huh? That would've been real fun after you shaded me in the tribal calls while I wasn't there ;) But I ain't mad, I think that's hilarious. I think out of everyone in this game I was the closest with you before it began. Some of my fondest tumblr ORG memories are on calls with you, playing with you, hosting you, hosting WITH you. You've always been one of the real ones, ever since we played HoS all those years ago. Talk to you soon :)

Kevin: oh MADISON, girl we BARELY talked, I don’t know why we didn’t but that’s just how our relationship was but you were also there to add a bit of comedy to tribals or the tribe chat and just all around lifted the mood a lot and were a really nice reminder that this was a game and it was all for fun, which I needed a lot, cause I can take these things a bit seriously but you didn’t seem to (which is a good thing) and I admire that a lot about you. :)

Madeleine: Madison, I should have talked to you more. I wanted to work with you but I never reached out, and I regret that. You are someone who I wanted to take to the end. I considered a final 3 with you. That would have been great. But hey, final 5 with you was great too!With love, Maddie

Ricky: queen of the cockroaches. one day we’ll be able to be in a game together where we speak to each other for more than 3 days.

As the final 4 leave the forest, they go back to camp to plan final tribal council. Please consult the jury chat / tribe chat to help plan!

0 notes

diableriepervert · 3 years

Note

all inquisitor asks >:3

OH FUCK YOU

romeo's specialization is that of the assasin because i personally thought it sounded cool

romeo decorated skyhold with draconic themes because he wanted to fought hard killing those dragons and mught as well get some use out of them

he doesn't like being called the herald at all but as an inside joke when he has to go under cover he will introduce himself as "harold but all my friends call me harry" none one ever laughs

hates the chantry, thinks the whole "maker abandoned everyone" thing is stupid, he thinks andraste was a cool mage whos story got highly exaggerated not unlike his own

he doesnt have a favorite follower because he doesn't acknowledge that part and trys to remove himself from the pedestal he's on, his favorite adviser is Josephine, he does have a younger brother dynamic with cullen though

romeo couldn't help falling in love with dorian, Dorian is the first person who's ever flirted with romeo, first everything really, romeo also unfortunately has 'i can change him' syndrome

he immediately told dorian about the letter, he couldnt have lied to him even if he wanted to, to lovesick. he didn't get dorian to forgive his father, he was to worried to think about what dorian might want in the future and in the moment just simply asked if he wanted to leave and go back to skyhold

at first romeo didnt know what to think of sera, but after spending some time with her they had fun spreading some harmless chaos and pranks together, romeo always wanted a sister and he found one in sera

romeo could never sacrifice the chargers, even if not for bulls sake but selfishly his own, he's grown very close to krem dalish and skinner in particular

he 100% supports leliana as devine, he loves the idea of the mage college and wouldnt want it any other way

romeo gave vivianne the wyvern heart

he didn't drink from the well of sorrows, one reason being that he didnt want to disappoint solas and the other being that he's made dorian almost watch him die far to many times

romeo never had a proper father figure, just Nin, who can best be described as 'its hard being a single mother when youre a 12 year old teenage boy with no kids' mixed with the over protection of someone whos lost everything, so when solas was vaguely a teacher figure towards him romeo was like "ah yes this is my dad" and just wanted solas to be proud of him

while his favorite adviser is Josephine his most trusted adviser is Leliana

the companions he feels most comfortable around are cole, dorian and bull

romeo was furious at the corruption of the wardens, he loved the hero of fereldens story as a teen, so for this to be their legacy he was severely disappointed and wanted better for him, for all that he sacrificed

romeo follows the strict belief that the only good templar is an ex templar whi realized being a templar is stupid

he's not very good at it, but he loves playing wicked grace, it let's him have a moment to simply live in the presence of those he loves

he of course allowed cole to stay, he felt good knowing that there would always be someone for anyone who needed it, no matter how small. He encouraged cole to be forgiving and stay a spirit

romeo didnt trust morrigan but he liked her, that is until he tried to lecture him, an dalish elf, on dalish history, go against the sentinals wishes and disrespected abelas

he hates the circles, while he does understand that magic can't be roaming wild he cant stand the idea of how mages are treated in circles

biggest regret? hes got a few, his first is when dorian told him he was going back to tevinter he was to scared of holding dorian back and making hin feel trapped that he let him leave without putting up any fight, like he didnt care. the next being that he never let those around him know how much he cared for them, he feels as though him being the inquisitor and not letting anyone ever know how much he was always hurting and scared is the reason everyone left in the end, that he wasn't a person but an idea to them, and not being able to save his clan, that he couldnt save his family and once again made Nin lose a clan

his greatest triumph is dorian, being in love with him, being loved by him, and watching him change for the better

romeo was mostly confused about blackwalls true story, while a little hurt he mainly just wondered how blackwall was never found out before this despite it being so obvious, maybe he's just to trusting but he forgave him and sentenced him to stay in the inquisition

romeo has to much faith in people, its nearly impossible to lose his trust, unless you are morrigan of course but thats just common sense

he supports cassandra rebuilding the seekers simply because he trusts her

romeo disbands the inquisition, he knows that the only way to continue to try and save the man he calls his friend is to not be spied on by said friend

he forced all three of those idiots at halamshiral to work together and rule, they were acting like children so the solution is to treat them as such

of course he let solas kill those mages. Mage rights except for those guys in particular, fuck them

I made the choice between alistair and hawke to leave hawke behind BUT in my canon romeo would never be able to chose who should die or live and my hawke would never let there be an option for anyone but him to stay behind, so in my canon im pretending stroud was there instead to be sacrificed, he knocks out hawke and makes the romeo carry him out. Rip stroud ypur a real homie for that

romeo never really believed he was the herald or that andraste was anything other than a strong mage so he wasn't to surprised that it wasn't andraste herself that saved him

romeo doesn't really cope well at all being inquisitor, he overworks himself and bottles anything troublesome until cole outs him, not even that coles reading him he just is the only one romeo confides in because he knows cole would be upset otherwise

he doesn't really care for bianca, loves the crossbow, thinks varric deserves much better than the woman

he let josephine solve her family problem her own way but let leliana help, he trusts she shes knows what shes doing

cullen did NOT start taking lyrium again, romeo is so proud of how far cullen has come away from the templars and would never let him fall back into that trap

emerald knight loot goes to the dalish, he knows its what his clan would have done

romeo hates tevinter, one for all the negative aspects of it ie slavery, blood magic, homophobia, transphobia, ect..., but also for taking dorian from him.

his favorite bard song is the one about sera

romeo is proud to be an elvhen inquisitor, not being because hes dalish dalish but simply as an elf, he won't let anyone take that from him

he got along well with the champion, he and hawke became friends quickly, they spend a lot of time together after the exalted council

romeo looks up to saint (mahariel), as someone who is also dalish and suddlenly being forced to save the world he thinks its comforting that saint got to be happy and find love at the end of his story

call it an elf thing but hes very proud of all he's accomplished

#YOU BASTARD I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU GOT ME WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN #IM NEVER SAFE TO REBLOG ASKS #dragon age #da: inquisition #romeo lavellan #nin lavellan (companion)

4 notes · View notes

chocolate-brownies · 5 years

Link

In the weeks leading up to the third annual Women’s March this weekend, I got to speak to ten of the leading women in the mindfulness movement and find out what’s on their minds.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of the women leaders in the mindfulness space—there are many more amazing women leaders, and we’ll be profiling as many of them as we can over the next year. These ten women were chosen based on recommendations from their peers. They come from across the country and across the movement, they’re engaged in research, teaching, writing, and speaking about mindfulness both at home and around the world.

These women bring the diversity of their experiences in the world at large and in the mindfulness movement to bear in their work, and in these conversations. Despite their differences, many echoed similar themes: kindness is necessary, trust yourself, find your community, meet yourself with warmth. It feels like good advice for this weekend—and well beyond.

1) Keep listening and find your community

Mirabai Bush

Mirabai Bush has watched the mindfulness world change gradually over her almost-fifty years as a leader in the field. She’s a long-time activist, co-founder of the Center for Contemplative Mind and Society, a key contributor to Google’s Search Inside Yourself Program, author of many books including Compassion in Action, Working with Mindfulness, and more.

From her earliest days as a young meditation student in India, encountering monasteries full of men, and all-male meditation teachers, to her experience as a woman in business, asked by men who’d stop by her trade show booth if she could get them a coffee while they talked shop with her male business partner, to her experiences as a young mother, and now as a grandmother.

“Let us just say that many of the barriers to women leading a really fulfilled life and making the best contribution they can in all areas of life, they’re there for women teaching mindfulness, too. Patriarchy is really deeply embedded in our culture. Things are changing, but it sure was difficult in the beginning.”

“We can’t do it alone. We really need each other. Our lives are busy and full, yet we’re still struggling with the individualism that’s promoted through capitalism.”

Bush thinks back to those early days as a student of male teachers and notes, “we didn’t see any models of how you brought a female awareness into how you’d do these practices.” Such an awareness is crucial, of course, “in order to bring these teachings into everyday life.” For Bush, the change came when she had children. “For me that was my biggest growth—being pregnant and then being a young mother. There was nothing like it for keeping you in the moment, without judgment, in a loving way. And being a mindful grandmother is so cool, really knowing how to listen, and tuning in to those little open minds.”

There’s something to those intergenerational female relationships, Bush believes. We have to look for ways to be women in community. “We can’t do it alone. We really need each other. Our lives are busy and full, yet we’re still struggling with the individualism that’s promoted through capitalism. There aren’t as many structures for us to even find community.” Bush adds, sometimes all it takes to make a profound change in your sense of community is one good friend “with whom you can talk about what you’re learning and what you’re struggling with.”

2) Love your imperfect self

Kristin Neff

Kristin Neff has been thinking a lot about traditional gender roles, and how they can block self-compassion. Neff is a professor of human development and culture at the University of Texas and the world’s foremost research expert on self-compassion. Men think self-compassion is about being soft and nurturing, and that it’s something that will “undermine your strength,” says Neff. “For women, we have a little less self-compassion than men do.” Women think self-compassion is about being selfish. “Women are always supposed to focus on others, be kind to others, take care of others, and it just feels selfish to do it for ourselves.”

So these days, Neff is thinking more in terms of balance. “In some ways masculine and feminine don’t really mean that much, they’re constructs. But there’s something they point to—the nurturing, the tenderness, the openness.” That’s the feminine side. “The protection, mama bear energy, fierce compassion.” That’s the masculine side. “Everyone needs both,” says Neff.

“Women are not really allowed to be fierce, we’re not allowed to be so active, and men are not allowed to be tender and warm with themselves. So the next phase of my work will be about how to help people integrate.”

The next phase of Neff’s work is focussed on integration. “Women are not really allowed to be fierce, we’re not allowed to be so active, and men are not allowed to be tender and warm with themselves. So the next phase of my work will be about how to help people integrate.” It feels to her like urgent work these days.

Part of the challenge is shifting the capitalist narrative of “perfection” that keeps people from loving their imperfect selves. “Self-compassion is such a perfect alternative to self-esteem. You don’t have to feel special, you don’t have to feel better than other people, you don’t have to get it right, you just have to be a flawed human being like everyone else. It’s just a more stable source of self-worth and a more stable way of coping with difficulty.”

3) Unbrainwash yourself

Helen Weng

For Helen Weng, her work as a neuroscientist, her lived experience as the child of Taiwanese immigrants, and her mindfulness practice are inseparable. Weng has spent the last 7 years investigating the neurobiological mechanisms of mindfulness meditation. What she’s observed as a racialized person in mindfulness circles has made her want to do things differently—and help to change the conversation for other minorities who meditate.

Weng learned how to use her own mindfulness practice to navigate the dynamics she observed in academia. “Every time I have to assert my own voice, the white people around me are very surprised, there’s a lot of resistance, or they make assumptions that my work is owed to them. I had to learn how to keep my presence of mind when someone is arguing with me in front of a big group just to establish social dominance.” Weng also made it part of her practice to be more vocal more often, so that others who were racialized wouldn’t feel so isolated. “It’s easy to internalize for minorities that there’s something wrong with them. I thought I couldn’t trust my own voice because people were always arguing against me.”

And Weng acknowledges her own privilege and its accompanying fragility, in her work as a clinical psychologist with transgender clients. “Gender norms are so deeply socialized,” she says, I had to do my own personal work around some issues, and used compassion and mindfulness to help me. It was uncomfortable. Realizing where you have privilege and breaking down your ego, it can feel uncomfortable and dysregulating. It’s not the job of minorities to help you navigate your fragility. Often the minority person will say things to help the majority person feel better, to ease their fragility. That dynamic is even more harming.”

Weng’s personal mindfulness practice allowed her to approach the issue of fragility in a couple of ways. One, she names and describes fragility, for those who may be unsure about the term. “When I feel my own fragility getting activated I feel like I’m going to throw up, and like I’m falling down. When you connect it to what it feels like, people get it and recognize it for themselves.” She says when people don’t recognize that what they’re feeling is their fragility, their impulse is to reset the power dynamic. “I’m the one in charge, is what the ego is saying—usually not consciously—I’m uncomfortable because I’m supposed to be in charge, so I’m going to reset the power dynamic.”

“Trust your body and psyche more and more and that’s how you’ll gain your power. It’s a process of un-brainwashing yourself.”

Weng’s other approach is to bring minority and marginalized communities into her research projects. She says not only are scientists largely homogenously white men, so are their study participants. Weng approached the East Bay Meditation Center in Oakland, CA, which offers mindfulness practices to people of color, queer people, people with disabilities and more. They collaborated on designing studies that are culturally sensitive to people from different groups. “Once you make procedures more sensitive for diverse people it actually makes it more sensitive for everyone,” Weng says. “So I’ll use these procedures as my baseline now.”

Weng knows her diversity initiatives are good not only for the communities they serve, but also for herself. “If you actually embrace the fragility and discomfort, it enriches everything. My work is enriched, and I’m enriched as a person. There’s so much more spaciousness and openness and connection at the end.”

Finally, Weng says, she’s learned to make mindfulness practices her own. “It’s trial and error to find what works for you, but listen deeply to your body to see what gives you more vitality and makes you more connected to yourself and others, and feel free to adapt or change anything. I love music, so I listen to music while I’m more present with myself. Some would tell me that’s not meditation, but they’re wrong. Trust your body and psyche more and more and that’s how you’ll gain your power. It’s a process of un-brainwashing yourself.”

4) To be alive as a human being is to have inherited much

Rhonda Magee

For Rhonda Magee, practicing law and practicing mindfulness go hand in hand. “Lawyers have to struggle with ethical questions of right and wrong,” she notes. “Lawyers are called in when there are high stakes—somebody is threatened with loss of freedom or the right to be in this country, custody over children. Lawyers are called in when those who call are suffering.”

“If we can engage mindfulness, we can manage stress and support ourselves in the practical aspects of what we’re trying to do while also deepening our capacity to serve in ways that minimize the harm we do along the way.”

For Magee, that understanding of harm includes her own experience “as a woman of color in a society and a world that wasn’t necessarily created for a person like me to thrive.” She talks about the surplus suffering “that comes with the way our different identities and our embodiments in the world are met with preconceptions and stereotypes,” and the opportunity she has to meet that suffering with mindfulness.

“Through my life, I’ve had the opportunity to become more aware of the subtle ways identity may be showing up—what is the rightful place of a woman, or a black person in a group?—by seeing how we’re all caught up in making meaning and perceiving each other through lenses shaped by a culture that has made all these identities relevant to us.”

“There are particular ways that we know something about suffering, that has an extra dimension tied to the way we’re met in the world as women.”

Mindfulness is the balm for what Magee calls “that extra layer of suffering, wounding and harm that we may be experiencing or causing others.” And she feels fortunate to have the opportunity to support others in exploring that. “Bringing mindfulness to our social identities and the challenges we face simply because of the way we’re packaged has been healing for me. Bringing mindfulness to bear on these aspects of our experiences in the world is a very rich path, a door into mindfulness as robust and rich as any other doorway.”

It’s a door Magee believes more women should walk through. “There are particular ways that we know something about suffering, that has an extra dimension tied to the way we’re met in the world as women. Knowing the great richness that comes with vulnerability and living compassionately, understanding empathy and the joy that can come from connection, means that we have a lot to offer the mindfulness movement.”

Magee speaks from the experience of a 51-year-old cis-gendered racialized black woman in America—and that informs what she is able to offer. “I really just believe that if we’re willing to look at our own experiences carefully, we have unlimited capacity to help transform the world. So we should be encouraged to be our beautiful unique selves and know that our voices are incredibly needed in the world at this time.”

5) Trust your own experience

Willoughby Britton

Willoughby Britton sees a lot of parallels between the world of mindfulness and the women’s movement. As a clinical psychologist and research scientist at Brown University Medical School, Britton has been studying the effects of mindfulness on mood and anxiety and is one of the few researchers looking into the potential negative psychological effects of meditation.

Her first inkling that her personal experiences might be marginalized by the larger mindfulness community came when her own meditation efforts, and those of many she knew, “did not conform to the dominant narrative of stability, clarity and calm. We all figured we just needed to try harder,” she says. “When I was working at in patient hospital during my residency, there were two meditators who became psychotic while on a retreat. Thinking that two in one year was a lot, I asked some meditation teachers if they had ever seen such meditation-related difficulties before and most reluctantly admitted that they had.”

Enter the first parallel. “What I discovered through the “Varieties of Contemplative Experience” research study, was that the mindfulness movement has a lot of parallels with the women’s movement where the dominant narrative was not only omitting but also—through repetition—actively silencing other, less desirable narratives.”

The mindfulness movement has a lot of parallels with the women’s movement where the dominant narrative was not only omitting but also—through repetition—actively silencing other, less desirable narratives.”

Throughout her career, as a neuroscientist, and in meditation, Britton has observed the power dynamics that influence systems, organizations, and society. “Part of my practice and research is to watch how these dynamics play out in the mindfulness world. The examples are numerous: the tendency to dismiss my own experience and yield to authority figures; the tendency to speak or act in ways that will be socially rewarded, such as reporting only the positive meditation effects or narratives, while omitting the negative ones. I can see in myself how easy it is to perpetuate unhealthy power dynamics and how vigilant and committed I have to be to counteract those default tendencies.”

That commitment, Britton believes, is what will bring progress. “Women and other marginalized groups have learned that positive change depends on giving voice to previously silenced narratives, so that a fuller, more accurate picture of reality, history—or meditation practice—can have an equal seat at the table.” So Britton prioritizes representing and documenting marginalized voices and alternative narratives in her research.

At the same time, Britton’s keenly aware of the dangers of confirmation bias. “My mindfulness practice has taught me how easy it is to deceive myself and to reinforce what I already think, so I have to keep asking: What am I missing? What are my potential blind spots? Who could help point out what I am overlooking?”

Still, she returns to a simple—though not necessarily easy—ethos: “Trust your own experience, speak your truth, find allies.”

6) #whogets2bewell

Angela Rose Black

For Angela Rose Black, PhD, founder and CEO of Mindfulness for the People, mindfulness presented itself as a matter of life and death. As a child in Indianapolis, she spent time at Flanner House, a multipurpose center that offered services to kids, seniors, and more. There, Black met Frances Malone, who was the director of Flanner House’s child development center.

“Among many things, she prioritized reminding us to pay attention to our surroundings; to walk and sit with dignity; to savor our food as we nourished our bodies. I don’t think she called it ‘mindfulness’ but rather emphasized ‘awareness’ as critical to our survival as Black children in a racist society,” Black says.

As Black moved through an academic career in which she studied health disparities, with research focused on black women’s health and stress, she herself suffered from stress and sought relief in meditation and mindfulness. There too, however, she found stressors. “My very existence in a given mindfulness space is oftentimes disruptive. Opening my mouth to ask ‘who gets to be well’ is resonant for some and triggering for others. The very breath we are invited to focus on is valued in some bodies while not in others.” For Black, navigating the mostly white world of mindfulness means that “on a daily basis I am building my capacity to be with my own suffering, the suffering of racial injustice in our own backyards, while disrupting these same injustices.” And that, she says, “is an emotional, physical, and energetic workout!”

“My very existence in a given mindfulness space is oftentimes disruptive. Opening my mouth to ask ‘who gets to be well’ is resonant for some and triggering for others. The very breath we are invited to focus on is valued in some bodies while not in others.”

Black was compelled to work for change—to truly disrupt the racial injustice she saw in the mindfulness world. “Honestly, my fatigue with people of color being under-considered and undervalued in all things mindfulness research, teaching, and practice—despite our deep historical roots of engaging in mindful practices—propelled me to unapologetically create Mindfulness for the People.”

Mindfulness for the People offers a variety of courses, including mind-body training for People of Color in search of compassionate ways to address Racial Battle Fatigue, and for White people to recognize and respond to White Fragility with compassion.

While the material Mindfulness for the People teaches may be challenging to some, Black’s parting words are simple. “To women of color reading this: I see you. To white women reading this: do you see us?”

7) Un-hijack your nervous system

Susan Kaiser Greenland

Susan Kaiser Greenland found her way to mindfulness through the panicked haze of a family health crisis. She became obsessed by the idea the food her family was eating was poisoning them, and as she was frantically pitching anything in their tiny New York City kitchen that contained sugar. Her husband intervened and suggested she learn to meditate. Will it solve the health crisis, she eagerly asked. “He said, ‘no, it’s for you. You’re driving me crazy.’”

A high-powered lawyer for a national television network, co-founder of the Inner Kids Foundation, author of multiple books on mindfulness, and a mother of two, Kaiser Greenland recognizes that mindfulness has been a lifeline for her. “I truly believe mindfulness-based self-regulation strategies are crucial at all ages, to give people the bandwidth to have open minds so they can learn and listen,” she says. She’s motivated by the change she’s seen mindfulness bring to people’s lives. “Once people recognize their nervous systems are getting overly burdened and they can dial that back, the worldview piece comes into place.”

“The situation we’re in now keeps me up at night. No one’s talking to each other, they’re talking past each other, hand-wringing and finger-pointing. Everyone’s nervous system is jacked up, everything they do jacks it up further.”

But, she believes, there’s still plenty of work to be done on the listening and learning front. “The situation we’re in now keeps me up at night. No one’s talking to each other, they’re talking past each other, hand-wringing and finger-pointing. Everyone’s nervous system is jacked up, everything they do jacks it up further.”

She recognizes that in her own past, even with the benefit of her mindfulness practice. “The generation of women who were coming up through the corporate world when I was there, in order to get where we were going, you had to take on a lot of male characteristics. I used to come home like the terminator,” she recalls. “I know mindfulness has helped me soften that edge and be more confident, but that was a price of trying to break through to certain jobs that just weren’t open to women at the time—you had to develop a male way to navigate.” Now, Kaiser Greenland knows “there’s a different way to navigate, kinder, more compassionate, more effective—and women have an easier time getting that than men.”

8) Be clear on what you want and find allies

Amishi Jha

Amishi Jha knew she needed help when her toddler looked up at her during storytime and asked what a “Womp” was. Jha had read this same book to her son dozens of times, and had been truly looking forward to spending this time with him. “What is he talking about?” she remembers thinking, realizing she didn’t have a clue—though she’d been reading about Womps for several pages, and had over successive nights. She was in her second year as an assistant professor, her husband was starting grad school, and she’d lost the feeling in her teeth from grinding them so ferociously. “I was at the point of quitting. I needed to do something that felt more manageable to me.”

To Jha’s surprise, meditation turned out to the answer. She’d been raised by Hindu parents who both meditated daily. But Jha was a scientist. “A rational person. I do things that are evidence-based,” she remembers thinking. She happened to hear Richard Davidson talk at the University of Pennsylvania. “He showed these brain images, one a brain induced into a negative mood, and one a brain induced into a positive mood. I asked him how do you get that negative brain to look positive, and he said mediation.” Jha was shocked, but she wanted that positive brain, so she bought Jack Kornfield’s Meditation for Beginners, and within a few weeks had noticed a difference in herself—and also found a new area of research for her neuroscience lab. “I got really interested in how we can offer these practices to other people who have extremely demanding high-stress jobs, medical and nursing professionals, active duty military personnel and spouses.”

“Hearing about meditation from a western-trained Indian scientist really got those women empowered to say ‘I can have this practice available to me day-to-day while managing my kids, my family, my profession.”

Jha’s work on the science of mindfulness took her to India to present her research at the Mind and Life Institute. While there, she was able to visit the town where she’d been born, where excited relatives quickly organized a public talk for her at a local studio. The room was full—mainly of young, professional women with families. But during the Q&A session, a man stood up and asked: “Why are you coming here, as a westerner, to tell us about these practices that we developed in this country? We’ve had meditation retreats in the mountains forever.” This was a question Jha had been dreading. But then a woman spoke up.

“One of the women in the room raised her hand and said ‘yes, but we’re working moms, and we want to know how to do this every day. We can’t go away to a hilltop meditation retreat!’” For Jha, it was a full-circle moment. “Hearing about meditation from a western-trained Indian scientist really got those women empowered to say ‘I can have this practice available to me day-to-day while managing my kids, my family, my profession.’”

For Jha, what empowers her is supporting—and being supported by—other women. “Be clear on what you want to achieve, and find allies,” she says. “That sense of being supported and acknowledged and valued is so important.”

9) Make America kind again

Shelly Tygielski

Shelly Tygielski has been working hard to bring more men—especially young men and boys—into the mindfulness movement, where most of her colleagues are women. “On the one hand that’s lovely, because it’s a safe space, and we have the ability to have this collective experience and to discuss things that are sometimes challenging or difficult to discuss when there are men in the room.” On the other hand, Tygielski, who launched America Meditates workshops in cities across the country, and also staged the first mass meditation at a sporting event, with Miami Heat Nation Meditation, knows that if real change is going to come, it’s going to happen when more of us are rowing in the same direction—and that has to include men and boys.

She thinks back to her twenty years in the corporate world, where she ended her career as president of a company with 2,400 employees. “I was usually the only woman in the room. and being mindful or being emotional is seen as a weakness, instead of a strength. So, for me, bringing the conversation into the boardrooms, into congress, into politics, around our dining room tables with the men in our lives, is crucial if we want to create this paradigm shift to make the world a kinder place.”

“Activism burnout is a real thing, compassion fatigue is a very real thing, secondary trauma is a very real thing, and I think that as women, in general, we’re raised to be really great caretakers, but we’re horrible self-caretakers.”

To that end, she’ll be taking her sixteen-year-old son and some of his friends with her to the Women’s March in Washington this weekend, and she hopes more men show up. “I want men to support women, not just by saying, ‘oh honey you should go,’ but actually by physically being there and being just as equally outraged by what’s happening and what’s going on in our political system today. Until all women are equal, with equal pay, equal access to rights, to healthcare, to speak up, no man is equal. There’s got to be that authenticity, and that authenticity means having to show up.”

And to the women who have been showing up, Tygielski has this to say: “Activism burnout is a real thing, compassion fatigue is a very real thing, secondary trauma is a very real thing, and I think that as women, in general, we’re raised to be really great caretakers, but we’re horrible self-caretakers.” Tygielski sees strength in numbers—and advocates a move from self-care to communities of care. And, she says, mindfulness is at the core of that. “Movements are about sustainability and about being able to create consistency in being able to show up. To really show up, not just show up to a meeting and your mind is somewhere else, but be able to show up fully, as the best version of yourself. Mindfulness has really helped me create that sustainability and center myself so that I could show up for the things I feel are larger than myself, and also make a much bigger impact.”

10) Believe yourself

Sharon Salzberg

For Sharon Salzberg, world-renowned meditation teacher, bestselling author of Real Happiness and nine other books, it all comes down to advice her teacher gave her in Calcutta, India, in 1974. “‘You really understand suffering, that’s why you should teach,” Dipa Ma told Salzberg, then a young adult with every intention of living in India forever, and remaining a life-long student. “I had a very tumultuous difficult childhood,” Salzberg says, “and that was the first time I ever thought about it as a potential credential for anything.”

Salzberg began as a reluctant teacher of mediation, and soon founded, along with Jack Kornfield and Joseph Goldstein, the Insight Meditation Society. Back then, she remembers, the main concern was understanding emptiness. But during a sojourn to Burma (now Myanmar) in the mid-eighties she was introduced to loving-kindness practices. The practices resonated hard with Salzberg, and she brought what she had learned back to the US, eventually writing a book called Lovingkindness. It was not met with open-arms in the meditation world.

“People said loving-kindness wasn’t an insight technique. They said, ‘it’s just a feel-good practice.’ But I had had a very powerful transformative experience with loving-kindness practice, so I just kept on teaching it.”

“It was a rough go,” she says. “Mindfulness was gaining popularity, scholarly research was beginning.” But loving-kindness was ahead of its time. “People said loving-kindness wasn’t an insight technique. They said, ‘it’s just a feel-good practice.’ But I had had a very powerful transformative experience with loving-kindness practice, so I just kept on teaching it.”

She discovered that a practice some of her peers wrote off as “just” a feel-good practice actually resonated hard with others, as well. “It’s very gratifying now that the pendulum has swung the other way,” she says, “that people are realizing compassion is the thing that was missing from mindfulness.”

She credits the kind words of her teacher, all those years ago in India, for helping her maintain her loving-kindess practice when others viewed it as frivolous. “Dipa Ma said to me: ‘You can do anything you want to do, it’s just you thinking you can’t do it that will stop you.’”

Well-Being

The Five Rules for Self-Care in Politically Charged Times

Being whole and meeting our own emotional and physical needs first, is the only way we will build the world we want to see in the future. Read More

Shelly Tygielski

January 9, 2019

Daily Practices

10 Mindfulness Practices from Powerful Women

We’ve gathered 10 mindfulness practices created by women to help you live a generous, compassionate, healthy life. Read More

Mindful Staff

March 8, 2018

Mental Health

Why Women Should Embrace Their Anger

A new book argues that rage could help women to improve their psychological health and move society forward. Read More

Jill Suttie

October 5, 2018

Mental Health

Mindful Activist’s Toolkit for The Women’s March

Here are eight mindfulness tools to march with when you join the masses to honor our democracy at the Women’s March. Read More

Heather Hurlock

January 20, 2017

The post 10 Powerful Women of the Mindfulness Movement appeared first on Mindful.

#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

0 notes

retechd · 6 years

Text

National Margarita Day

Met up with my wing pretty much right after work at chipotle. Opened the girl at the register. Asked her about her tattoo. She tells me its supposed to say one thing but says another. I tease her about it a bit. She ask if i can read it. I say does it look like i can read that. She says yes. I forget what i said after but Im holding up the line so i move on. Girl at soda machine isnt paying attention. Walks backwards then turns around right in front of me and get a shocked face. I just laugh about it.

Talking with my wing having fun. Free flowing light convo. Point to register girl and tell him what happened.-she sees this-. She shortly comes around wiping tables down. I tell her i totally wasnt talking to her. My wing says we totally were. I ask what the name *tattoo* means. She tells me a story about her dead dog. I sympathize with her, i can relate then make it light by joking how shes just full of dark things and is depressing me. She has to get back behind the counter.

We end up walking to the bars from there. Wing opens a 3 set headed to TR. Asking if they are headed there. I almost immediately get in my head.

1. I was not expecting to open them because i was a bitch.

2. I started feeling like I couldn’t get in on the convo.

I could only think about saying things that pretty much echo’d my wing.

This happens again when two girls are hooting. Wing opens with “have you two been drinking already.” Has playful banter with them. Im already in my head but for some reason. Confident, good looking girls intimidate me if im not in state. The were both good lookin, very much in their own bubble of fun and obviously from the college which to me means they have money and are clichie. Same thing happens. I can’t get a word in. Even if i did it would only be an echo.

Go inside same venue. And after getting the drink prices we walk out. Circle the bar area then end up back there since everything else was dead. So this venue put me more in my head. Im not used to restaurant venues. Plus all filled with mostly the same demographic (white, money, clichie).

Note: I realize this is completely my interpretation and while i do have experiences to say this may be the case. It probably has more to do with my terrible game, especially in my first year than them being snobbish. I will write a frame for these people to start getting me to not default to my current prejudices which just dont help me at all.

Same with confident really attractive people. I give them a status in my head and feel inferior which I completely not the case. I’ve been friends with really cool people, wealthy people, and peope of status all my life. Its so unnecessary for me to feel “not worthy”.

So we are chillin with ourselves. Girls walk by but Im so in my head i can’t do anything. Which leads me to be more in my head ruminating on not taking action. My wing isn’t doing anything either. We are vibing with each other though; which is much better than just standing in silence looking around.

Wing opens two promo girls giving away drinks. Same thing, he is doing everything and I’m kind of just there. The girl closest me me keeps taking little glances at me. In the moment i thought she was feelin g awkward because i was just being quiet but now im wondering if she was just attracted to me. Other girl has big tits and a low V neck. I do my best to not look and fail a couple times...she maybe might’ve saw too. They gives us drinks, take a picture where im purposefully making it awkward as a joke. Then they move on to give more promo drinks.

Note: This is what Don does. He is not someone i should ever emulate. So mental note to never make things wierd even as a joke. Also never be awkward and try because anything is better than stewing in my anxiety and inaction.

A bit later i try to open a girl getting a refill. “You have an interesting look, what are you? *internally pause fearful she’ll take offense and add* “if you dont mind me asking.” I was leaning in -bad body mechanics telegraphing neediness- . She give me a side look and say “human”. Internally im thinking fuuuck you bitchface. I come back with thanks for a real answer. This stewed with me. I kept trying to let it go but it triggered something in me. My wing helped talk me through it, finally was able to stop being a bitch and realize im just not in abundance. She should have been insignificant but i wasn’t on a roll yet and was barely opening.

Fast foward. I decide to txt 2 girls i made out with from another night. Its been at least a week or two. One tried to blow me off with “im pregnant” to which i laughed my ass off, played with her a bit and deleted her number. Other one was receptive and says she’s available tomorrow. I tell her i’ll txt her then. Hit up my CMB and actually got her input on why she wanted to not go out again. She says it’s because it seemed like my mind was in the gutter alot. I consider this and figure she felt wierd because i didnt txt her the next day and also probably gets the vibe that I get nasty with more than just her. I thank her for the info and delete the convo. -my way of not letting myself get needy-

Open two big girls that sit near us, pulling up a picture of my buddy who would absolutely love them *he likes bbws*. They are fun. Not sure what was said but it was pleasant. New wing joins up late. Tell him we are grabbing coffee. Bounce to SH.

Feeling better. Talk to the hostess, just normal stuff but im trying to push myself. Talk with the waitress. Say something to a random girl that walks in and is smiley. The girls (lesbians) we met last time come over to say hi. Short but definitely a nice boost having a warm welcome. Definitely going to be part of our social circle. 2 wings meet up from before. We talk, having a good time. One drops off then we bounce to new venue.

I get in a set with a cute dominican girl, she kind of opens me. Talk about how many drinks we have had. I ask her name and what she does, then decide to deep dive a bit to root out core values (in HR but likes Logistics). Get light again, intro the friends, shortly after they pull her away. I stay and talk to the next person to sit next to me. Cowboy, rodeo dude. Short but keeps the momentum going. Try to open a girl on the patio trying to get a cigarette. Then try to do a new angle to get her to talk. “Why does it sound like your mouth is full. She laughs but is trying to keep food in then a guy (they know each other) comes in and tales all her attention. I stay light but shortly leave.

Check outside and see a girl sitting by herself. Called my friend for some reason to confirm for this weekend (they’re crashing at my place). Ask her for a cigarette in the middle of it. She doesn’t have one so i change the subject or something. This was a blur ( too many margaritas) but lots went right. We were talking having fun then the cute columbian girl comes over. Turns out this girl was part of the three i met earlier. Massive social proof now seeing as i cold open her friend and they come to find us both laughing and having fun. I know i was talking about having sex with my friends gf and twisting it to say that she wants it and hes cool with it. Sex is definitely a great topic for girls. Friends come in and we all start vibing. At some point a dude comes in, I’m friendly and acknowledge but quickly find out hes a friendly rando that gave them a cigarette so i ignore him for the most part. Game wisdom to ignore the randos and not give attention or be reactive to them. At some point the two friends that joined us start dancing a bit. I qualify her dancing saying I like that she can wiggle. She then bounces that ass on me. 😮!

Note: this rarely happens and amazingly i just made it happen by being cool, free flowing, unstifled, non judgmental and qualifying her / rewarding her behavior!

My target , dominican, is smiling but i can see the jealousy plotline instilled and she wants in. So she grinds her ass on her friends crotch and now we a grinding train with yours truly as the base 😁! Shortly after its time for them to go so hug everyone and get my targets number. The girl that was grinding on me tries to get in my ear and say she is going to be married in 4 months. -jealousy plotline in action!- I said we’ll she has to be sure. -it was weak, I didn’t know how to respond-. Should have said we’ll we can always be friends...maybe. I’ll consult the council.

Back inside my wings are still in same set. One of them leaves to the bathroom so i chat him up a bit. Its going super well, he’s getting her to deep dive and open up. Apparently they share a lot and make plans for brunch. He ask me to talk to the friend. I see shes alone an pulroceed to chat her up * i love it when i’ve got my social motor running and this isn’t an issue* I talk to her, bigger girl but shes cool. Get her name. Forgot exactly everything but i know it wasn’t particularly warm at first then she started opening up. She had so much unique jewelry that it was easy to keep pinging for stuff to talk about that is relevant. Then we get on to ghost stories, weed habits, and i forget what else. At some point i go on about being the god of sex and proceed to hold her hands to bless her pussy which i accidently pat, she didn’t seem to mind at all. But i feel tense about it and mention it.

Note: Need to hold the frame that everything is on purpose and going according to plan. Girls prey and tear apart weakness. It can turn an edgy action from a spike of fun to a bitch fest if they smell it.

So my wing, who was originally talking to them comes back and i give it back. When they leaves i hug and bless her pussy again. Go to bathroom and run into a buddy who bounces at a nearby bar on the way. Chill with him, his buddy joins and all vibing. Intro my new wing he hasn’t met. All of us vibing. Wing drops off and its just the dynamic duo. We bounce to a new spot. It is insane and poppin!! All college girls but super cluby. Im a fuckin fan! No opens but its fun. I felt fun but ready at the same time (to fight) maybe its because i know how aggressive kids can get. Outside, wing was ready to bounce, bum a cigarette and barely vibe. We bail, its already late.

0 notes