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paracosmic-murdock · 4 months

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these colors fade for you only ; benedict bridgerton x reader

pairing: benedict bridgerton x fem!reader

summary: one thing worse than seeing your enemy often was living under the same roof, certainly, and you and benedict suffered from that unfortunate condition. not even the eleven years you've slept separated by a thin wall only helped you overcome that hatred, you would always hate each other. or not really, because it's too definite to say something as such when a few hours could change the meaning of until the end of time.

warnings/tags: enemies to lovers, sexual tension, very inappropriate behavior for the 1810s, colin bridgerton being a little shit, two people who hate each other locked in a room, what could possibly go wrong?, nude paintings, implied smut, song: sunlight (hozier)

word count: 3.2K

❁ mila's paracosm (main masterlist)

One thing about Benedict Bridgerton is how you could ruin even the best of days for him.

One thing about you is how much you loved to make him mad and see the frustration on his face.

Another thing about Benedict Bridgerton is how pathetically obsessed he was with insulting you in any chance he gets.

Another thing about you is how you were willing to do absolutely anything to bother him or tease him.

You acted like children: always arguing, always making fun of each other, always making everyone at Bridgerton House completely insane with your bickering the entire day.

One thing was having to see your enemy often. One way worse was living under the same roof.

Eleven years ago, your parents had an accident, and you have lived with the Bridgertons ever since, as your mother was Violet Bridgerton's best friend since childhood.

Devastated for years, you accompanied the Bridgertons in their grief for Edmund, which was what ultimately gave you strength to go on with your life. All of you.

But that was the very same thing that ignited your rivalry with the second Bridgerton: your enthusiasm would collide with his mourning and harsh words coming out of his mouth you had no will to tolerate.

It began with his insults to you, though you knew he didn't mean to be rude, and it was all his grief doing the talk. When you couldn't tolerate it anymore, you started insulting him back.

Then, Benedict would play pranks that went too far, and you would burn his sketches in the chimney.

Benedict started sabotaging any chance you could get to find a suitor and you would spread silly rumors about his performance in the bedroom with his friends from the Academy.

Thanks to his efforts, not even being named Diamond of the Season was enough for you to find a husband, which was already making you feel like a failure, not to mention a burden to the Bridgertons. Benedict's fault also.

“Anthony, has he come back?”

He gave you a pitiful look. “I am sorry, Y/N, but I spoke to Lord Raeken to ask him his intentions, and he said he was not interested in marrying you.”

“What?” You gasped. “But everything was going so well! He- he invited us for dinner last week! His mother and Aunt Violet befriended each other even!”

“You will not like what I am going to say.” Anthony anticipated, and you already knew whose fault it was.

“It was Benedict?! Again?!”

Anthony nodded. “I talked to him… It was a threat. He said he would fix it, and I promise you that Lord Raeken will propose to you. If not, he is not worthy of you, and that is all.”

“Nobody is worthy of me, then? He… ruined it with the Duke of Sussex, with Lord Leclerc, with the Count-, I… Why does he keep doing this, Anthony?” You whimpered. You didn't even notice when you started crying, but before anything happened, he hugged you tightly. “Has he not tormented me enough already?”

The eldest Bridgerton knew all too well of your inner motives to hate each other, but decided not to meddle in your war anymore unless it was a case as delicate as this.

“Promise me you will not ruin his latest painting, Y/N,” he begged. “I am trying to work on a peace accord between the two of you, so as long as you stop doing things to him, he will stop messing with you.”

You sighed. “If I do not marry this season, I will have no other choice but to find a job as a governess.”

“Why do you even say that?” He frowned.

“Because it has been eleven years of you sponsoring me, and I believe that it is too much time.”

“You think you are a burden for us?” Anthony asked, and your silence answered. “The day you leave us will be one of the saddest for us Bridgertons, Y/N. You are like our sister, and we love you and care about you as such. Perhaps it has not worked before, but do you really believe that a man that loves you will let none other than Benedict intimidate him?”

“Gregory is more threatening than him,” you noted. “And those dimples could melt the coldest of hearts!”

Anthony smiled. “Do not think too much of it. We shall find you a husband before the season ends.”

“Alright.”

“Now go, I believe Colin is expecting you, and I have many things to do.”

“Sure thing.” you replied.

Once you were out of his office, you gathered the baby blue skirt and ran to Benedict's studio. There, you saw the painting Anthony begged you not to ruin.

It was a woman's naked figure, quite a graceful one. And it was beautifully portrayed.

It would be a shame for it to be ruined. Thank God you did not promise Anthony a thing.

It was still wet, so it was not difficult to use other colors and mix them with the paint so it would look different. You also spilled droplets of red and signed your name on the painting where he had his.

Then, you cleaned your hands and ran to the door.

“Colin!” you exclaimed, and he turned around. “We are going to find Benedict right now.”

He frowned, annoyed. “What happened now?”

“Lord Raeken won't marry me for something Benedict did. Now I must speak to him.”

“It is getting late. We will not get to the tailor in time if we go to Benedict first.”

“Please?” You begged Colin. “I can get on my knees if you wish, but please…”

Colin rolled his eyes. “Alright, let's- oh, there he is!”

You looked in the same direction as him and noticed Benedict getting home. He seemed mad, and your face lost all its life when you thought of what could happen when he saw his painting ruined by you.

“Let's get out of here, Colin…” you muttered once Benedict passed you without even saying hello.

“Why? Benedict is here if you wish to talk to him.”

“It might not be a great time right now…”

“Why?”

“Y/N, I swear to God!”

“Because…” You gave Colin a sheepish look at Benedict's scream.

“What did you do?”

“He started it!”

Colin rolled his eyes. “Did you-”

“Come inside right now!” Benedict yelled once he reached the door. “I am dead serious.”

You sighed, walking next to Colin. “He is going to kill me, Colin.”

“You do not know that.”

“I did something bad.”

“So did he.”

You pursed your lips. “Tell Daphne that only Francesca is a good fit to replace me as Auggie's godmother once I die.”

“Do not say that.”

“What on Earth were you thinking?!”

“What on Earth were you thinking?!” You mimicked him, anger coming to surface again as you reached his studio.

“This was an assignment for tomorrow morning!”

“Well, Lord Raeken was my whole future, Benedict!” you yelled back.

“Look at it! It is ruined!”

Colin was annoyed enough of your fights, and seeing the keys was enough for him to know there was only one solution.

So he did it and thought that you would either kill each other or make amends.

The third Bridgerton exited the room quietly and thanked your bickering for being distracting enough so you did not notice when he closed the door and locked it from outside.

“What are you doing?” Anthony asked when he saw Colin lock the door.

“Forcing those two to reconcile.”

The eldest brother chuckled. “Best of luck with that.”

“I know they will get over it,” he said, sitting on the floor next to the door. “I shall stay here even if it takes me the whole night.”

Anthony joined him. “This should be fun.”

“I do not care if it is ruined, Benedict… you can ruin my future but you draw a line at ruined paintings?!”

“Do you not know how important my career is for me?! You can find another suitor anytime!”

You groaned. “This is my third season, and I have not found a husband! I was the Diamond of my first Season, Benedict! And you have been ruining all of them for me!”

“I have not ruined anything. They simply are not a good fit for the family!”

“I am done listening to you.” You walked away from him and tried, in vain, to open the door.

After looking around, you noticed Colin was supposed to be in the room with you but he wasn't.

“Colin Bridgerton, open this door right now!” You banged the door, making him flinch. “Someone, open the door! We are locked in here!”

Benedict believed you simply weren't strong enough to open it, so he joined you trying to open it but couldn't while his brothers hid their laughter. He looked for the keys but couldn't find them either.

“Colin must have taken the keys,” he noted.

You sighed tiredly. “Somebody open the door! Please, we are trapped!”

“Open the door! Colin!”

“They will not let us out.” you told him.

“Perhaps we should just say we made amends and they will open the door.”

“Do you think he is an idiot? Only a fool would believe you and I could reach an agreement overnight, let alone the ten minutes we have been here.”

He groaned, giving up on escaping the room and returning to the conflict. “How are you so blind, Y/N? How can you fail to see that they are not right for the family?”

“I beg your pardon?! You do not even know them!”

“Is that so?” he questioned, getting closer to you. “Lord Leclerc, a widower who had lovers left and right while his late wife was terribly ill, the Duke of Sussex is a dull rat, and the Count had three illegitimate children by the time he set foot on Mayfair. They are not good people for us.”

“If that is what worries you so, I can leave forever after I marry!”

“Do you truly think this family will survive a week without seeing you? Mother is devastated at Daphne's absence… yours would kill her.”

You rolled your eyes. “We are not even a real family, are we? I am not related to you, I am a mere burden, so why do you not take any of them as your chance to get rid of me?”

“I did not mean that. Stop bringing it to the table each time it suits your purpose to manipulate me.”

“I could seriously kill you with my bare hands right now, Benedict…” you spoke, outraged. “What is it that I did for you to hate me so much?!”

“It is not worth talking about that now.”

“Why are you like this with me, Benedict? At this point, I would marry just about any man who could take me away from you.”

His heart skipped a beat. “We can't just let you marry anyone, alright?”

“Why do you even care?!”

“Because I cannot let you go with someone I do not trust…”

“What will it even take for you to trust any of them?”

“I could never trust them, Y/N, because I can't trust in someone who does not love you devotedly and absolutely.”

Your lips formed a line of disdain at his words. “How would you even know they don't if you do not give them the chance to truly get to me?”

“Because no one does.”

“Wow,” you laughed bitterly. “Thanks for reminding me how unlovable I am.”

“You do not understand, Y/N.”

“Explain it to me, then!” You asked, you begged him.

“No one does it like I do, my goodness!” he screamed, and you were sure it echoed through the whole floor.

You choked on your own spit at his confession, and at the other side of the door, Colin and Anthony looked at each other completely flabbergasted.

“We should leave.” Anthony whispered. “Unlock the door.”

Colin nodded. “I agree, we should let them out.”

Anthony nodded and left, but Colin was determined.

He certainly did not unlock the door.

“What?” you asked in almost a whisper.

Benedict seemed surprised at his own words, as if he had spoken from ignorance because… it couldn't be real, could it? He couldn't be in love with you.

“I…”

“Benedict…”

“You are my family,” he ‘corrected’ himself. “Conflict in families is not uncommon. It is fine. I care about you, and I… we do not want you to be the wife of a man that does not deserve you, Y/N. You are sunlight, and they are nothing but a gray sky.”

You breathed out shakily, looking at his blue eyes deeply, feeling like you had never seen such blue in your entire life. “I am sorry about your painting.”

“It is alright, I will try to fix it; maybe if Colin lets us out, I can go back to the Academy before it is too late. Find a model-”

“Is that what you need? A model?”

Benedict cleared his throat, guessing where it was going, though scared of it. “Yes, but it should not be difficult to find one at the Academy.”

“We will not be let out,” you reminded him and gave it all a careful thought.

You were aware it wasn't right. He was a man, and you were a woman who was not married to him. He must not see you naked under any circumstances, but again… he saved you from those men who weren't worth it, and you paid him by ruining his artwork. It was not fair, so you owed him.

You could break the rules a little. After all, you were locked in a room for God only knows how long.

So you nodded and started undressing. “I could model for you if that is what you need.”

“What? Do not, I-”

“What is the difference between that woman and I?”

Benedict's brain told him to stop you. It was definitely not right for a lady like you to be seen naked before marriage. Worse than that, be painted.

“Y/N…”

“Am I not interesting enough to paint, Benedict?” you questioned as your dress reached the floor. “I just wish to make up for what I did.”

You started undoing your corset under his careful eyes.

“If what worries you is my identity, I believe you could use the other model's face,” you added once the corset was discarded and your bosom fully exposed to him. “It is intact in your painting.”

“I am afraid your grace cannot be compared.”

You exhaled nervously when your shaking hands reached the beginning of your underpants. “Then make justice to it.”

Finally, you stood completely naked before him and didn't dare to be modest about it.

“Paint me.”

You walked to the couch and laid in a similar position as the model in his painting.

“I cannot ask that of you.” He tried one last time, gathering all the strength in his body… You were a lady, and he was a gentleman; no matter how rare that would be of him to stop you. It was not right, but what a sight he had before him.

“Then it is good that I offered.” you refuted.

He doubted for longer than he is willing to admit, but ultimately approached you with hesitant steps.

“Allow me,” he whispered as he reached you. You nodded, and he accommodated your head so you would be looking up at the ceiling and your hands to cover what could be seen of your face to his art's convenience delicately. His touch, hot, caused goosebumps on your skin. A gasp left your lips. “You truly are beautiful.”

“Thank you.” you mumbled.

Benedict returned to the canvas, telling himself he could do this.

He shouldn't.

But if your face wouldn't be seen, it would do no harm. Only you and him would know it's you.

A few hours had passed and the night had fallen. It was difficult to paint with the growing darkness hiding your features, so he left his piece for a second to find some candles.

Before he returned to the canvas, you spoke. “Am I doing it well?”

“You certainly are,” he praised you. “A natural indeed.”

You had goosebumps once again.

What is wrong with me?, you asked yourself.

How could Benedict, of all people, make you feel like this? How could he control the speed of your heartbeat with mere words? How could he turn your skin into a burning mess that acted as if it was freezing? How could he make your hands sweat each time he got closer? How could he make you forget how much you despised him after he said he loved you?

How did he love you? He said you were family, but he did not dare to call you a sister like his siblings always do. No, this was a different kind of love: the kind of love you read about in the romance novels you have stolen from his library, because that is the way you were feeling near his presence, under his stare, at his touch.

“Come here,” you commanded long before you thought what you would say. He complied, flying to you like a moth to a flame, but you were sunlight: billions of times more powerful, and you could consume him long before he dared to reach you. He felt like a moth with wigs made of wax, melting with each step that brought him close to you. Gladly. “How do you love me, Benedict?”

“What?”

It was unbelievable that a man of words like him could act so clueless, but there he was. Oblivious to your passion, not to mention his.

“I have always been your Mama's daughter and your brothers and sisters' sister. But I have never been yours,” you mentioned. “Why, if you love me so?”

“Y/N…” His hand caressed your face, and you took the other to put it on your left breast where he could feel your heart beating.

“Kiss me if what my beating heart says about your love is true.” It was an order, and that heart of yours was certainly right.

And right then, he knew he was careless of his own insignificance. He would fly as high as the melting wax allowed him to and fall as deep into the ocean as his own weight imposed.

He could drown and disappear, live and die for this moment. For all the frustration that has haunted him all those years of loathing and yearning. For his sunlight, for you.

He kissed you, and you returned the kiss as if your lips had ever touched others before.

They haven't.

They shouldn't.

But they are now.

It was an angry kiss. Wet, carnal, breathless, hot, feral, everything.

His lips did not caress yours or danced with yours, no; they fought and devoured yours, and you gave in.

It was exquisite but depraved in a way you couldn't bring yourself to explain, and you absolutely loved it.

Once the kiss ended, you were the first to talk. “Take it all off.”

He breathed out, nerves he does not recall to have ever felt scared his determination away.

He felt as pathetic as those men he threatened to ruin if they were to set foot in the same room as you ever again, and he took off his clothes with the urgency of a task set by the scary educator of his childhood.

You looked at him, took it all in, and gave him space to lay beside you.

“It's just us, Benedict…” you let out, your breath blending with his. “You can love me now.”

His cue.

#benedict bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton x reader #bridgerton #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton smut #benedict bridgerton imagine #bridgerton imagine

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hozierandco · 9 months

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Callum Turner x Reader // Phone Sex

A.N: Very smutty. Anonymous requested phone sex, there it is.

Plot: As Callum starts the shooting of a new feature film, he feels very horny. His girlfriend too. Phones might be the key to their problem.

Callum had just finished packing his suitcase when Posy, his pug, entered the room. As usual, the dog smelled that he would be leaving for long enough for her to miss him. She lay her pink nose on his thigh as he had kneeled on the floor to pet her. Y/N was witnessing the scene while folding the clothes that had not fit in the suitcase. She too was starting to feel the weight of the departure on her shoulders.

Y/N and Callum had been dating for four years and were engaged for three months but it still was harsh to see him leave, even after all those sets and award shows he would attend by himself, sometimes on another hemisphere. Once Posy had had her share of hugs and pats on the head, Callum turned to his girlfriend. He reached out for her, grasped her hips to bring her closer to his chest and lifted her chin as she was looking at the floor with a tear by the corner of her eye. He placed a kiss on her lips as gently as a dove landing while whispering in her ear: “You’re the love of my life. I’ll be home soon, darling!”

Though the distance between the two of them for the upcoming weeks was shorter than usual as Callum was going to Belfast and Y/N was staying in London for her own job, the couple felt terrible about it. Y/N accompanied Callum to Heathrow and watched him check-in. He waved goodbye at her behind the high wall of glass and was soon nowhere to be found.

***

“I’ve arrived sweetheart and I already miss u xx”, Callum texted as he landed at Belfast airport.

Y/N read that text over and over again, as she was preparing some Earl grey. She muffled herself in some blankets that still smelled like her lover and played some TV show on Netflix. She had no idea what the plot or the title to that show were as she was focusing mostly on her dog and phone.

Y/N had always needed some time to accommodate to Callum being away. She knew that in a few days, she would be able to socialise with her friends again and going for drinks with her colleagues after work but as for tonight, she felt no energy and fell asleep rather quickly after.

When she woke up the next day, she emerged with some notifications on her phone. Along with spams on her mailbox, she had received two texts from Callum:

// 07.23 am - Callum // Hi darling, hope you’re ok. I feel like shit, missing u like crazy

// 07.31 am - Callum // Forgot to tell u just how much I adore u

His first text was an understatement. In fact, Callum had not slept much the night before as he had kept on thinking of Y/N for most of the night. He missed her habit of making up (terrible) jokes in all situations, her Earl grey which was like a drug to him, and also the intimacy the two were sharing.

Usually, Callum was dealing well with the lack of sex his job could come with. Usually, he was fine with onanism and some sexting with his girlfriend. But ever since the two of them had gotten engaged, and for a reason he ignored, the sex had become amazing. It was incredible before the engagement but now it was out of this world. And they had not been separated ever since the engagement party.

Needless to say, Callum was getting very much horny just thinking about her girlfriend being naked or touching his chest. By 2 pm, he took a break to go get a lunch and enjoyed that time to text Y/N.

// 02.08 pm - Callum // I miss you and your body

When Y/N read that, she was relieved that she was not the only thinking that as she had this thought and this thought only on her mind. She caught herself daydreaming of making love to Callum during a meeting in the morning and she could not help but to imagine what it would be like to have him. The two of them had had sex before going to the airport, so only a few hours prior but it was difficult not to imagine something else.

// 02.54 pm - Y/N // I wish I could be yours too

// 04.11 pm - Callum // How about I call you tonight to get it settled?

Callum had never imagined suggesting something as crude as that. They had never thought of having phone sex but desperate situations call for drastic remedies, he thought.

// 04.48 pm - Y/N // I dare you!

Y/N could not quite believe what she had just read as Callum was not the resourceful when it came to sex. His education had made him rather shy to talk about the subject, even more so to initiate it. But Y/N was willing to give it a try.

// 05.02 pm - Callum // Is 10 tonight fine by you?

// 05.07 pm - Y/N // Yes! Can’t wait!

Y/N was feeling a sexual tension growing as she was imagining the call and she was glad she could clock out from her dayshift and go back home to make herself comfortable. As soon as she arrived, she rushed to her closet to pick fancy underwear. She knew exactly which ones were driving Callum absolutely crazy and gazed in the mirror at the beauty she had in front of her. Red truly was her colour, she thought.

After running some errands and making her some food, she felt as though she could start the session on her own and started moving her hands below her trousers but then she received a call from Callum.

// 09.56 pm - Call entering: Callum //

“Hi darling, I’ve waited so long for this…”

“Hey Cal, getting horny much?”

“You have no idea. It was tough concentrating on my script with you on my mind”

Y/N lay in their bed, her eyes facing the ceiling and one hand on her chest, actively searching for her breasts. By doing that, she got the camera rolling and asked for FaceTime to get started.

“Ooh, I see you put on that naughty bodysuit I got you, huh? You know it drives me insane to see you wearing it”

“Take a wild guess as to why I put it on then”

“Good, I see you’re as excited as I am”

“You have no idea what went through my mind all afternoon. All the indecent stuff I was thinking of that got me blushing”

“Hmmm”, Callum slightly moaned through the phone.

“What would you do to me if you were in London right now?”, Y/N asked as candidly as possible while she ran her other hand on her thigh.

“I would bite your lips with my teeth and then I would lick your tits, making them as red as your gown”

“Would you allow me to touch your chest back?”

“Oh darling, I would allow you to do everything”

“Touch your chest then”, Y/N ordered.

“We’ve got the right to order stuff now? If so, play with your tits. Show me how red they’re getting”

Y/N obliged as Callum slid his hands under his shirt.

“Take your shirt off. I want to see it too”

“Commanding, much?”

“I thought I had the right to ask you anything”

“Hmm, sure. Anything for you”

“Touch your thighs with your other hand so we’re equal”

“You’ve been touching yourself, haven’t you, huh? Couldn’t wait for me”

“Didn’t make myself come though. I can’t wait for you to do that to me”, Y/N replied.

“That bodysuit is fine but you know what I’d love to see even more?”

“Let me guess”, Y/N said while taking off one strap of the discussed piece of clothing.

“That’s right, take it off so I can admire your gorgeous body. God! You’re fucking hot like that too”

“Get higher with your hands. Show me how hard you got, pretty boy!”

Callum took off his trousers and a bulge could be seen from his underwear.

“I would do anything to play with it right now. But for now, you’ll have to do it for me. Stroke it slowly”

“I like that bossy tone of yours. Do you want me to remove my boxers for you?”

“Huh-huh. Let me see what my cunt is missing”

Callum took off his underwear, unveiling a boner that he had had for a good amount of his day. He gently began touching the length, imitating the back and forth movement of penetrating Y/N.

Y/N could feel her loins getting wet by the second she noticed his movements and mostly when Callum got to moaning unintelligibly words that sounded like pleas. She reached for her labias and grazed the surface, with Callum’s cock as sole thing on her mind.

Callum sensed some pre-cum on his fingers as he was getting close to the edge. He asked between two moans “I want to see you getting wet for me. I want to imagine myself fucking you”

Y/N approached the phone to her thighs and showed him how her fingers were taking care of the pond between her legs.

“God, Y/N! You’re so fucking hot! I wish I could come inside you”

Y/N moaned at the suggestion. She too was wishing for that. To have her pussy circling his cock so tight that she would feel every drop dripping out of it.

“Keep playing with yourself. I’m gonna fucking come”, Callum warned as the veins of his cock were showing on screen.

Callum stroked harder and harder, feeling a near release as he grabbed a pillow near him to press something.

“Y/N, fuck!”, he moaned as his cock emptied on a towel. He gasped for air as he came back from his ejaculation.

Seeing that, Y/N wanted her share to and asked Callum to talk to her.

“When I come home, I’m gonna lick every part of you and fuck you so hard that I’ll make you moan the way you just made me come. Think of your fingers as though they were mine. Play with yourself, baby. I love that sight”, Callum could not stop talking as he felt his cock wanting a second round by just looking at Y/N touching herself.

Y/N put her fingers as instructed by Callum, playing with her pussy with a rapid pace. Though she could not comprehend most of what was happening, she sensed her breathing growing heavy. A few moans escaped her mouth before she ultimately cried out “You’re gonna make me come, Cal”

“Good. Carry on, I want to hear you moan louder”

“I’m…”, Y/N hardly found a way to express herself as she hit a spot Callum knew by heart would make her flail.

“You’re so hot when you come for me”, Callum snickered as Y/N was done with exhaling after having come.

“I’m still waiting for the live version of that. But I guess we could do it every day before you’re coming back”

“I wouldn’t mind”, Callum commented.

#callum turner x reader #smut #fanfic #callum turner #fantastic beasts #war and peace

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anton-luvr · 6 months

Note

Could u do a fic where the reader and Anton are best friends and have a sleepover. By the time they go to sleep it starts to storm and she’s scared of thunder so she asks Anton to sleep with her in bed instead of him sleeping on the couch. So like Anton holding reader and kind of cuddling to calm her down. Reader realizing she likes Anton more than just as a best friend so she kisses and him and he gets all shy but likes it because he likes her too and just kekdowodos really fluffy and cute 🥹💕 Thank you in advance I love your work!!☺️🫶🏻

# MY FAVORITE LOSER.

𖦹 bf!anton x fem!reader | fluff | best friends to lovers au 𖦹 note ; mwah tysm anon i love you,, also this is ADORABLE... thank u for requesting i hope u like it!! + reqs are closed !

Fun fact: you were terrible at Mario Kart.

Nintendo music accompanied by Anton's laughter echoes across your apartment as he wins the game again, grinning proudly.

"I told you, Princess Peach always wins." he boasts, waving the controller happily.

You scoff, folding his arms. "Hey, Yoshi can win too! Just you wait, I'll win you in the next round." you reason.

But just like the past five games, you don't.

"Just admit I'm better, hm?" Anton suggests, smiling.

You roll your eyes jokingly at how proud your best friend is, gently shoving him.

"Okay, let's not play anymore." you say, exiting the game and setting the controller aside. "How's life?"

Anton's eyes light up at the question, and he quickly sets the controller aside too.

He loved talking to you.

Whether it was a deep conversation about personal struggles or a stupid discussion about the validity of soap (don't ask), Anton knew you would always listen.

Your conversation goes on to the late hours of midnight, with Anton telling you about his upcoming vacation to Korea and you telling him about the random fight you witnessed at your lecture the other day.

By the time he's done talking about the cute cafe he passed by yesterday, it was already past two in the morning.

"And they have really cute cups too! We should go there someday." he says, stifling a yawn.

You nod, eyes drooping shut. "I think we should sleep." you mumble, stretching with a groan. "I only slept for four hours yesterday."

Anton gasps at this, dramatically shaking you by the shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? You should go to sleep, right now." he scolds.

Chuckling, you get up from the sofa with both of your hands up in the air. "Okay, fine! I'll go to sleep now."

Anton hums at this, pushing you towards your room. "We can talk more tomorrow," he says. "You look like a zombie right now."

He runs away too fast for you to hit him for the insult, giggling as he retreats to the living room. "Goodnight!" he calls out, waving cheekily at you.

"Goodnight!" you call back as you close your bedroom door.

Flopping onto your bed, you let out a happy sigh.

It was nights like these with Anton that made life feel worth living. You're still smiling contentedly to yourself as you get comfortable under the covers, drifting off to dreamland.

Until the roaring sound of thunder snaps you right out of it.

Each flash of light shining through your room made you flinch, the angry raindrops pelting against your windows making panic rise in your chest.

Scrambling out of bed, you run into the living room, almost tripping over your own feet in the process.

"Anton." you whisper nervously, tugging at his hand. "Anton, wake up."

The sleepy boy wakes up in a jolt, frowning in confusion. "H-Huh?" he mumbles, sitting up slowly. "What's wrong?"

"Can you sleep with me? I'm scared." you rambled, gasping in short and nervous breaths.

Even though Anton was half-awake, he immediately agrees.

He stumbles his way into your room and gets under your covers, making sure to pull it over you too.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly, voice groggy.

His heart breaks when you shake your head no, eyes filling up with tears.

"Don't cry, it's okay." he says, hugging you. "Just... think of it as the sky farting. That's what I used to tell my brother."

Even though you were almost scared out of your wits, you couldn't help but let out a little snort of laughter.

"Wow, that helps a lot." you deadpan, snuggling closer into his arms.

"I know right?" he giggles, rubbing your back gently.

But it actually does.

The fury of Mother Nature didn't seem so scary anymore at Anton's joke and in the security of his warm embrace.

You realize a lot of things aren't that scary anymore whenever you're with Anton.

Despite the both of you being rather shy and reserved people, he somehow always brought out the best in you.

Just his presence alone gave you confidence and security, knowing that there was always someone there who loved and supported you unconditionally.

From him cheering you on for your nerve-wracking first day of college to him helping you tell the waitress she got your order wrong at the local diner, he had always been there for you.

And even with him being half-awake, he still looked gorgeous.

His eyes sparkled with a love for the world brighter than the stars, the soft smile he flashed you warming your heart up in a way no one else could.

"Thank you." you whisper, looking up at the curly haired boy. Without another word, you kiss him on the cheek.

Anton feels like the world stops when you do so.

All the blood in his body rushes up to his head, the tips of his ears turning as red as apples while he blinks rapidly.

"W-What was that for?" he stutters, avoiding your eye contact.

"For this," you say. "For everything, actually. I think I like you." you admit.

Anton thinks he just might pass out.

Millions of thoughts run through his mind, but he says what he's been wanting to say for a long time.

"Well, what if I told you I liked you too?" he mumbles, finally meeting your eyes.

"You're joking." you mutter, even though you were praying that he wasn't.

"No, I'm not." Anton starts, turning so he could face you better.

"There's no one else I like to spend time with as much as I do with you." he confesses, gently tucking a piece of hair behind your ears.

"You're the only one that makes me feel this way, no matter what you do. Even if it's just you losing in Mario Kart for two hours straight."

You open your mouth to argue, but Anton puts a quick end to it when he kisses you, this time on your lips.

"You're my favorite loser." he whispers. "Can you be my loser forever?"

Nodding, you can't help but smile at how corny your best friend - no, your boyfriend - could be.

"I'll be yours forever."

#riize #riize fics #riize fluff #kpop fics #kpop fluff #riize anton #anton riize #anton #riize icons #riize x reader #riize drabbles

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cocogrrrl · 9 months

Text

play pretend

to what lengths will you let yourself have feelings for your best friend, kyle broflovski? (alternate version to passenger in the rain)

kyle broflovski x female!reader (best friends to lovers), kind of one-sided kenny x reader cw brooding (maybe unlikeable) yn, Kenny is as distraction wc: 2931

an: as per request of 💫 anon dearest <3 also some scenes in the other vers is used here as well

Sick, embarrassed, and ashamed. That’s what you feel.

You really shouldn’t be having feelings for your best friend, Kyle. Well, you could and you did, but god, did you hate it. You loathed, detested, and abhorred the feeling of falling in love with him—mainly because you hated dealing with your feelings.

It feels so embarrassing to be so head over heels for your best friend and try to cover it up as well. The “what-ifs” of what could and would happen if he found out freaked you out. Would he be cool about it? Probably not. It would be super awkward, and he’d try to play it off, but it’d be too much to bear, and you two would eventually stop being friends. That’s what you think would happen, at least.

Stupid feelings aren’t worth risking for worthwhile, maybe lifetime, happiness.

Then again, you enjoyed where you were right now—in Kyle’s bed beside him. He was completely knocked out, and his jaw was slightly agape, with the softest of snores filling the dead of the room. The sun gently shone on his face, causing him to look a lot warmer than he actually was—since his body temperature was normally cold even during the heat of the summer.

It felt almost saccharine, almost as if you were already together, if not for the fact that there was a barrier to what extent you could stay like this. Maybe you could just play pretend for a bit in moments like these. You sighed at the thought, lifting yourself from the sheets to go fix your bedhead appearance up.

When you got back after tidying yourself up, you were greeted with a disheveled-looking Kyle already awoken. He looked all groggy, with him rubbing his eyes while his poofy hair was flattened on one side. “Good morning…” He croaked out.

“Mornin’.” You tipped your head and smiled, leaning on the door frame. “You look like you slept well.”

“Sure did,” he yawned, stretching out. “What time is it?”

“I believe it is twelve-thirty PM.” You replied, checking the time of your phone. You were right. It was 12:37 PM.

“Shit, really?”

You nodded. “Why?

“I gotta pick up Ike from his friend’s place around two. He has this group project thing. Mom and Dad’s attending a friend’s wedding today, so they dropped him off earlier this morning.”

“You want someone to come along with you?” You hummed, checking your phone to see if you were busy today. To your delight, you weren’t.

“Are you sure? I don’t wanna worry your parents or anything.”

“Nah,” you beamed, finding yourself smiling at his worry for your parents. Despite the fact that you two have known each other for nearly forever, therefore you two were always hanging out together, he still was always worried about your parents getting upset. “I’ll just tell them that I’ll be with you for a little bit more.” You added, texting them already.

“Alright, thanks. I’ll go get ready,” he said, grabbing some clothes as he headed to the door—where you were. “Wanna kill time and get coffee later? We still got a little over an hour before we pick Ike up.”

“Definitely.” You grinned. “Can I borrow a shirt, by the way? I forgot to bring some extra clothes. I only have pajamas. I’ll re-wear my pants.”

“Oh, sure, go ahead.” He nodded, already out of the room, but his back turned to seemingly tell you something. “By the way, you left your skirt last time you stayed here. Mom washed it, I’m pretty sure. It’s in my closet, separated from the rest of my clothes.”

“Ah, alright.” You nodded. “Thanks, Kyle.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

You and Kyle were currently lined up in the coffee shop, Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse, actually. You were near the front of the line. Kyle, behind you, was scrolling through his phone as you patiently waited for your turn.

On the way, Kyle insisted it would be his treat—which you fought strongly against. You were embarrassed that he’d pay for something rather small like coffee. You were embarrassed whenever he’d offer to pay for anything at all. Or do anything for you, as a matter of fact. You gave up, though, and he said it was his thank you for accompanying him.

“Next!” Your schoolmate, Tweek, called out. You ushered yourself to the front of the line, Kyle right beside you as you two stood in the front.

“Oh, hello, YN, Kyle.” He greeted, flinching. You and Kyle returned a simple nod and waved to him. “What can I—Ack!—get you today?”

“I’ll have one flat white, and I think Kyle’s order is a cortado, but half the milk and replaced by almond milk instead.” You hummed, leaning closer to him to whisper something. “Lactose intolerant.” You murmured to Tweek, pointing at the boy beside you.

Leaning back, you looked at Kyle for his approval. “Am I correct?”

“First of all, the whole world doesn’t need to know I’m lactose,” he breathed out, rolling his eyes. “Second of all, I’m surprised you know my order.” He chuckled, handing you the money.

Embarrassment crept up on your cheeks. Why did you know Kyle’s order? I mean, yeah you like him, and you’re also his best friend, but that really doesn’t mean anything! …Right?

“Duh, you’re my friend!” You replied, handing Tweek the money—after which you and Kyle walked around the cafe to find a seat.

“Do you know Wendy, Marj, or even Bebe’s order?” He raised a brow.

“Of course! It’s, uh,” you paused, trying to recall the order. “Joke. I don’t think I know.”

“Yeah? So you somehow know my order?”

“Well, it’s because I spend my time with you the most. I’m bound to know your order.” You said, motioning to a table with two free seats by the window. You two sat down.

“Uhuh,” he replied sarcastically. “And you haven’t been following me around when I get coffee in the morning—”

“—Before 7:30, so there’s still extra time.” You both said at the same time.

“Yeah, actually, I think the reason why I know your order is because you’ve said it a good few times for me to remember it as a part of your morning schedule.”

“That would make sense, but I don’t think I’ve ever told you my morning schedule.”

“What?”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

A few days later, you’re in your bed. Not Kyle’s, but yours. The covers haven’t been changed in a while. You should probably get to that. However, the smell of sweet flowers in the spring, accompanied by an underlying muskiness to it, reminded you of Kyle. Mainly because that was the fragrance he wore pretty much all the time.

Playing pretend is fun sometimes.

It’s so annoying how everything reminded you of him, though. Every little thing was always connected back to him. No matter what it was.

Oh, you wanna play some good ol’ tennis? Tennis is a sport, and Kyle plays basketball. You want to listen to rock? Well, actually, you just end up playing The Cure—Kyle’s favorite band. You’re going to the bakery to pick up some dessert? You immediately start to think of his mom’s wonderful Challah. Fuck.

Someone literally asked you out yesterday, and you denied it because you were saving a spot just in case Kyle would ask you out too. Maybe you should get back on them, though. Just so you could distract yourself from your current feelings. It wouldn’t hurt to try, right? Just as long as they don’t find out, you’ll be fine.

You grabbed your phone and scrolled through your contacts, checking for that one single name. Kenny McCormick.

Immediately, he picked up. “What’s up, pretty?”

“So, about that date—”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

It’s been about a week since your initial date with Kenny, which was the very day you called him, and it’s been fun, to be honest. Sure, you were by no means into him at all—not by a long shot—but it’s fun to pretend.

How was Kenny doing with it? By the looks of it, he was having a blast. You sure hope he did. You really didn’t wanna let him down or hurt him cause he really is a sweetheart. He’d walk you to class, leave sappy notes in your locker, and give you wet kisses on the cheek between passing periods. All the sweet things couples would do in high school movies, he definitely did.

What about Kyle and your feelings for him, though? The feelings definitely did not go away, first of all. In fact, they amplified. Every single romantic gesture Kenny made, you imagined Kyle doing it instead. That’s kind of how you’ve been getting through this anyway.

When Kyle learned about you and Kenny going out, he was definitely shocked, to say the least. You couldn’t blame him, though. Kenny used to be one of his closest friends during elementary and middle school. They did part ways though once high school hit because of a whole bunch of things, but that’s not the point.

You spent less time with Kyle now. While that did make you a little sad, you tried convincing yourself that it was for the better. You’ll learn to get over Kyle and love Kenny. Right?

“YN!” Kyle called out from the end of the hallway, running towards you. He seemed like he had something urgent to tell you. “There you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“You could just message me, you know?” You smiled, rocking back and forth on your heels.

“You never check your texts.” He pouted, crossing his arms.

“I mean, neither do you.”

“At least I answer calls!” He raised his hands. “Anyways, it’s been a while since you came over. Mom misses you.” He sighed.

“Thanks?” You nodded your head, not quite sure what he meant by that.

“I’m saying that you should come over.” He laughed. “Hopefully tonight?”

You wanted to say yes. You believe that you were about to say yes. Promise. Kenny snuck up behind you and wrapped his arm around you, though, holding you near him.

“Hey, mamas.” He yawned, the smell of pot strong on him. Not that it was something you cared about too much, it was just really noticeable that moment. “Are you still up for tonight?”

You looked back at Kyle with guilt nipping at the back of your throat, giving him a sad smile. “Yeah, sorry, Kyle. Maybe next time?”

“That’s fine! I’ll tell them. Thanks.” You nodded in reply as he walked off, the rejection clearly obvious—to you, at least. You heard him leave a huff out in the middle of the hallway.

Shit. Maybe this was a bad idea.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Weeks passed, and you’re already broken up with Kenny. Honestly, neither of you took the breakup seriously. You were pretty sure Kenny knew he was going to be in a one-sided relationship with you. You were sure he knew how in love you were with Kyle.

You felt bad for the guy. You wished that you could’ve treated him better and that you could’ve been an actual proper girlfriend to him, but you were no better than that. Kyle’s the only person you know you can be right for.

Speaking of Kyle, what’s been going on between you two? Well, things worsened, actually. Ever since you got with Kenny, you two have been more distant than ever. Of course, this troubled you. I mean, Kyle’s been your anchor forever, but now you don’t have anyone anymore. You still had your other friends, but it didn’t feel the same without him.

Deep down, you felt like you were pushing him away, though—since it’d be easier to bury your feelings if he wasn’t looking.

You did this all to yourself. It was time to face the consequences of your actions. You had to come to the fact that you are really fucking stupid, especially considering how you still had a grave crush on Kyle after all this. Playing pretend can’t save you in a situation like this now.

You were about to start ignoring the whole world even further to drown yourself in your feelings, but you couldn’t. All because of some measly little message that popped up on your phone. You wanted to ignore it, but your gut was screaming at you not to.

It was Kyle who messaged you—woo. Were you thrilled at first? Not quite. You realized that he never texts you unless it’s urgent, especially nowadays. So, you opened the message.

Kyle Dude

You ?

Kyle Are you busy?? Can we talk?? Like irl

You Sure?? Where though?

Kyle My place rn No delays its important

You groaned, not wanting to deal with quite literally anything right now, but you guessed that it would be better to get it over with right now. Kyle seemed to make it out as an urgent matter anyway. You supposed that it was the least you could do after seemingly ghosting him for weeks now.

You tidied yourself a bit, making yourself at least a little bit more presentable. I mean, how embarrassing would it be if you went up to their house out of nowhere and then also looked like a mess? You’d rather be disowned by your family than cause shame as bad as that.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

As you made your way to the house, nervousness started to creep up your spine.

What was it Kyle even wanted to talk about? Did he find out about your feelings and the reason why you dated Kenny in the first place? What did and does he think of you now?

Maybe he’s just upset since you two haven’t been going out and stuff. Yeah, maybe that’s it. You’re all alright, and everything will be perfectly okay—

“YN! Oh, my, I’m so grateful you showed up.” Sheila’s voice chirped, catching you off guard. “Try letting me know when you’ll come here next time, though, okay? I don’t have anything prepared for you and Kyle–”

“Mom, I invited her here right now,” Kyle yelled out, his light footsteps down the stairs making themselves known. “Sorry, I didn’t tell you.” He sighed.

“Oh, that’s okay, booby.” She grinned, patting his head. “Are you two going to stay for long? Just so I know if I have to cook extra.”

“No, I don’t think so.” He answered before you could. “We’ll be quick, ma.” He returned the smile, pulling you by the arm and dragging you up the stairs and into his room.

The quiet in the room, once he shut the door, was unbearable, which was unfamiliar. Kyle’s room was always a safe space for you, but it seemed to have completely changed. It changed because of you.

“I missed you,” he mumbled, his back facing towards you as you stood right in front of the door, suffocating in the heavy air.

“I did too.” You sighed, words slipping out of your mouth faster than you could catch them.

“So why did you leave me?”

“I didn’t mean to, Kyle. I just,” you paused, thinking of some made-up excuse. “Have a lot on my plate right now.”

“You could’ve told me what it was. I could’ve helped you out!” He turned, facing you now. You only caught it right now, but his eyes seemed a little puffy. Was this all because of you?

You exhaled, shaking your head as you laughed to yourself. “That’s the thing.”

“Huh?”

“It’s a problem you can’t fix.”

“Who says I can’t do so?” He raised a brow.

“I do.”

“And why?”

“Because the problem is that I like you.” You exhaustedly huffed out, shaking your head. “I needed a way out of my feelings, but it was hard to do that, so I instead ended up pushing you away and distracted myself by dating Kenny. I’m sorry.”

His mouth was ajar as you spoke. After that, he let a huff out, his turn shaking his head and laughing at you. “You’re so stupid.”

“What?”

“I like you a lot too.” He smiled, cupping your cheeks and lifting them, making you look at him.

Your gaze was averted elsewhere, though, in shame. “I’m sure you’re upset with me, though.”

“Yeah, I am.” He said with a frown you didn’t need to see to recognize. You could just hear it in his voice. “I think I can see why you did all that, though. I mean, it’s really fucking stupid, but I can’t completely blame you for it.”

“You think so?”

“I guess.” He hummed, pressing your foreheads together.

“So, what are we then?” You asked, now confused.

“I think I still need time to process everything,” he cooed, gently rocking your bodies back and forth to the tune of nothing. “Can we take this step by step? Work our way to wherever?”

“Yes, definitely.” You smiled, wrapping your arms over his shoulders as you swayed along with him. “As long as you’re with me. As long as we can go back to what we were before, if not more.”

“Yeah, for sure.” He gently stood still, stopping you as well. He leaned his head back, taking a look at you. “Thank you, YN.”

“Thank you, Kyle, for staying by me.” You sighed, bringing your eyes to his for once. “I, uh,” you paused, holding back the silly 'L' word you two would exchange a lot when you were younger. “Am grateful for you.”

Maybe it's best to not have pretended. Maybe you should just let whatever universe conspire against you two, it seems to know that you and Kyle would be despite everything.

#cocogrrrl's writing #south park fanfiction #south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski x y/n #kyle broflovski x you #kyle x reader

81 notes · View notes

freshlyrage · 4 months

Text

Running Like Water

Chapter 20

pairing: Javier Peña x OFC (written as xReader)

fic warnings: NSFW Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI) language, strained family relationships, mentions of drug abuse, discussions of insecurities and body image issues, daddy and mommy issues

fic tags: Best friends younger sister, Life-long crush, Friends to lovers, Unrequited love, slow burn, Push and Pull, Small Town Dynamics, Secret Relationships, latina MC, Fluff and Angst, OFC!Jessica Alba face claim, sorry Lorraine I'm bringing you into this, Time jumps, 2 year age gap, pre-canon

word count: 5.4k

a/n: I forget that the strip of time between midterms and finals is about A WEEK. So I have been manhandled and tossed around (not in a fun way) this semester. I finally have time to breath this break.

Please enjoy , this chapter is all love.

I have a surprise for you all soon.

Also, thank you @ficjoelispunk for the kind words about RLW, it inspired me to continue when I was in a rut because of finals. Thank you.

You overestimated how tired you were because you woke up with drool pooling at the corner of your mouth and the worst morning breath of 1986. The sheets were rustled and missing the body you clung to most of the night. Rolling your neck and stretching your limbs so tight you spasm a bit, you look over to the clock reading 1:15 pm. Yikes.

Yawning, for some reason. You slept for nearly 13 hours, there’s no reason for you to still feel-

Then, the loudest most earth shattering rumble from the pits of your belly shook your entire body.

“Well shit.” You mumble to yourself, pulling the covers up to conceal your breasts while you stretch over to the telephone on the nightstand. Eyes squinted you drag a manicured hand down the list of extensions for services. Maid service? Might as well.

Dialing the numbers you wait.

“Hi-Hello. Um could I please get um… whatever breakfast you have up to room 417.”

“Well we’ve got honeymoon eggs, croque madame, quiche Lorraine.” You roll your tongue against your cheek and smile to yourself.

“Could I just get scrambled eggs and a Belgian waffle. No syrup, just butter and uh...powdered sugar!” Your glance over to the space where Javier had been. “Get me beignets too actually.” Your lips quirking.

You pictured it so clearly, it was summer again and you were thirteen. There was a sheen of sweat on your forehead from biking uphill in 97 degree weather. Your brother and Genie up ahead talking about something important to them. Javi had been a few weeks from fifteen, the summer was ending. He paced with you every time you biked anywhere. I’m not laughing, he’d laugh as he waited for you to catch your breath at the new shop across town. It was rare for anything new to open up so the second your ragtag group got word of the bakery opening by the new 7/11, plans were made.

You remembered the air conditioning in the place being blasted so high you let out a joyful squeal when you walked in. Tall adults ahead of you in line covering the menu. Peering your neck to get a glance, getting frustrated at how packed the small bakery was. Guess they weren’t the only ones with a plan. Suddenly hands tuck under your arms and you’re being lifted. You gasp so loud your brother whips his head back in concern before breaking out into laughter while you’re held in the air by Javier. With your eyes blown wide and your stomach dangerously pitted, Javier grunts below you.

“A-alright make a decision I can’t hold you for so long.” He groans, “Although I know you’re just gonna order the beignets.”

You scoff and he puts you down. And he pays for an order of beignets, blowing powdered sugar in your face as you all sat and ate.

You wonder if he’ll remember when he comes back from his meeting. You’re giddy at the memory, the two of you were always sweet huh?

Well you feast and the housekeepers come in and strip the bed and dishes while you shower. You attempt to dress appropriately considering Javier hadn’t disclosed any details about what the day entailed. You opted for the orange ribbed tank top, a matching cardigan and a gray wrap skirt. And you knew how much Javier adored your hair wet in its natural state of waves so you hadn't bothered using the outdated hotel dryer.

Javier bursts into the room early at one pm, you're at the desk squinting into your compact. Removing the mascara that had spread to your lid. Rubbing your glossed lips in the meantime, watching him from your peripheral you could feel the stress expanding from him as he places his coat on the bed. Reluctantly you look at him as he rolls his neck, “Hi…” You croak, stupidly nervous suddenly. You can taste the bad mood. Your eyes avert and you open your compact again to look busy. He doesn't respond, just the sound of his shoes across the rug. Through the compact you see him crowd your chair and before you could look back at him he’s placing a kiss to your scalp. Closing your eyes to take in the gentleness your turn in your seat to look up at him as he’s hunched over, your palm closing on his cheek and kissing him tender.

“Hi.” he finally responds. Your eyes crinkle at their corners.

“I saved you something.” You kiss him again before reaching over for the plate of beignets. His eyes are bright and wide when he gets a glance.

“Jesus–thank you.” Setting the plate down, you stand, giving him your seat as you are done getting ready. He sits and grunts the second you attempt to give him space to eat, grabbing your waist and hauling you onto his lap. “Don’t you dare leave.”

You roll your eyes, picking up the doughy concoction and bring it to his lips with your hand cupped to catch the powder. Good thing you weren't wearing black. “Do you remember when we had these for the first time?”

Javi takes an aggressive bite and scrunches his brow before smiling as he chews. You liked to watch him eat, you think it had to do with the way his jaw strained, you desperately wanted to lick and kiss on his jawline. “Yes… There were so many people in that bakery. I remember that guy–”

“What guy?” Your brain starts indexing and filing the memory, you don't remember much after he picked you up you must have been in a blushing daze. Javier takes another bite.

Licking his lips, “The guy that elbowed you to get ahead in line– me and your brother flipped out on him–wait you don't remember?” He mumbles seems like something you’d remember, you pinch his arm with a laugh and it all comes back to you. You all had waited on the line and someone attempted to cut, elbowing your ribs in the process. You recall gasping and immediately gripping at your rib at the sudden bruise. Javi called the man some sort of dickhead while your brother asked if you were okay. Javier finishes the sweet, reaching around you to grab a napkin. “Thank you for saving me some but we have plans in 15 minutes.”

Your cheeks burn bright and you give him a small smile, “Oh do we?” You place a hand on his shoulder, dragging it down to his bicep. You watch goosebumps rise on the sliver of skin peeking from his shirt.

He grips at your waist playfully, “Yes we do. Now up–before I keep you trapped in this room all day.” He gives your behind a small spank, he mumbles, tempting me with that tiny skirt.

Javier doesn't tell you where he’s taking you. All you know is that it's walking distance from your lodging. He nods a tight lipped smile to a few colleagues in the halls of the hotel, his hand grip yours firmly. You knew he was protective of you before all of this, you hadn’t pictured he’d be this possessive in public. You absolutely adored it. You refrain from psycho analyzing your desire to be held and protected by your partner and opt to bask in the fleeting moment with your head leaning on his arm as you walk into the busy streets of New Orleans.

Javier wastes no time in using his left hand to fish for his sunglasses. Oh it was a gorgeous day, a rare breeze in June and jazz filling the air. You were beaming and walking ahead, dragging Javier with you. “Please tell me you’re taking me to the French Quarter, I’ve never been.” You drag him down the unfamiliar streets.

He chuckles, “We are but it’s actually that way.” His voice has a slight rasp to it, you wonder if he’s getting sick. He points and shifts his force, slightly pulling you closer to him as he crosses the street. The street off the Roosevelt wasn’t much, but to you it had been everything. You had been so used to the flat impossible to walk anywhere landscape of Florida and the too-small-for-its-own-good of your hometown that when you look up to see the buildings tall enough to block the sun you feel a wave of satisfaction. You were on vacation. You walk, taking in the streets, the architecture. The red brick sidewalks and the creole style buildings.

The colors so bright, your orange top matches a building you pass and you suddenly wish Javier took his camera. Javier eventually lets you go in the spirit of watching your wonder take control of your body. He watches every small bit of your reactions, he wants to tell you about the places he had been in those six years. Had you known he came down to New Orleans three times before, that he thought of bringing you here once already. His eyes crinkle at their corners when a woman carrying a small puppy in her hands stops to call you beautiful. Your face goes beet red as you thank her and ask to pet the tiny thing before she blesses you.

You look back at Javi, slowing to get to his side again. “That was the nicest thing to happen to me, ever.” You snake your hand into his and his chest fills with a warmth only you can provide. How scary is that?

“Well you do look beautiful, been watching you this whole time.” He admits, hold the shame-it’s just you. You smile a dimple deep grin and bring your conjoined hands to your lips, kissing him on the dorsal of his hand. Leaving your mark, your eyes flitting up. You gasp.

“We’re here oh my god!” ahead of you the time ceases to exist. The past in front of you, buildings gradually changing in style, some new in its classic Creole style and others chipping and rustic, the greenery. And so colorful. The sounds of street performers and parents positioning their kids for photos swarm you two. “We should pay one of those tourist photographers to take a picture of us.” You suggest,

Javi swallows thickly. He knew once he’s given the picture he’d carry it wherever he went, he imagines it taped onto his desk in Colombia. His chest aches at the idea.

He nods, and lets you drag him to a man with a large polaroid camera snapping a picture of an elderly couple. Javi checks his watch. He frowns, he had a plan for the two of you—it was important to him but he so desperately didn’t want to cut short the spark in your eye. You wait patiently with your hands behind your back and Javi thinks it’s the cutest shit ever. He places a palm right above your behind for attention, craning his neck to speak to you. “I told the man at Belle Form that we’d be there in 15 minutes.”

Your lips quirk in a little confused smile, your brows pulling together. “What’s that-“

“Does the lovely couple want a photo?” The man calls and Javi nods, taking your hand and walk the two of you in front of the pale yellow building, wrapping his arm around your waist. You blush furiously and lean your head against his chest. The man croons, lifting his camera to his eye. “Beau couple, bisous! Kiss! For the second one.” Your eyes widen but Javier doesn’t allow himself to think, he grabs your jaw and kisses you softly as the man snaps his second shot.

The two of you part and the man holds both images in his hand, letting his camera fall against his chest. He doesn’t shake it, Javi reaches his bulky pocket, fishing a ten from his wallet. “Keep the change, let’s go.” You smile at the man and take the pictures before Javier is hauling you along.

“God where are you taking me!” You exclaim, bringing the photos to the light, squinting to see the image slowly developing. Javier chuckles, his hand patting the box like shape in his pocket opposite his wallet, your brows pull together too curious to know what it is.

“I came to New Orleans by myself for work in 1982.” He states. It starts like all of his stories, sudden and straightforward. Your chest absolutely blooms, you loved kissing him, keeping him close but nothing came close to hearing stories about his life. Seeing things from his eyes. And maybe it had to do with the nights you spent in your dorm wondering just what he was doing at that moment. Over the bustling noises of Canal street. “I spent the whole weekend alone, I ended up at a museum. You know I expected paintings, maybe photographs—I hadn’t known that galleries displayed poetry in their exhibits.”

You frown, unsure where he’s going with the story. Something awful turns inside of you when you picture Javier alone in a place like this. You lean into him more as the two of you strolled. He continues. “My mother wouldn’t call herself a poet but she was. She came to America with just her poetry book and her copy of Twenty Love Songs and a Song of Despair. My mom was the biggest Neruda fan out there. And the exhibit had been an ode to Pablo Neruda.”

His eyes covered, they had been misty. He never got emotional over his mother, over the thought of her or the memory of her face. Instead every time he hears a poem he thinks of her, and for some reason that is what twists his insides. You look down at your feet, eyes glassy too.

“Anyway the gallery is called La Belle Form, it’s right up here.”

You give him a simple kiss to his shoulder and his tense form drops slightly. “So what exhibit are we seeing today?”

Javier chuckles, cutting the tension he created. Taking the photo from your hand, the small white border pinched between his thumb and pointer. His own cheeks redden at the sight of the two of you deep in a kiss. “We aren’t seeing their current exhibit.”

“Javier, it's been quite some time.” a man in a three piece suit opens the door to the dimly lit gallery. Your eyes widen and you look up to Javier, he had been here only once yet a local remembers him by name. The man looks late into his fifties, with dreadlocks pulled in a low ponytail with streaks of gray. He reminds you of a professor you had at Miami. The gallery is empty as you step in, only a few paintings hung and half written words stuck to the walls. Is this place even open?

The cold air from the air conditioning eases you though, the Louisiana heat was nothing to be played with. Javier holds your hand in his as you two follow behind the man before he stops in the middle of the studio. “I’m Edmond Marcel, this was my father's art gallery–I’m sure Javier here told you about how we met.” He glances at the brick wall of the man next to you.

You ignore his last bit and reach your hand out, “I’m Andrea Diaz, Javier’s girlfriend.” You wear the title with pride, you’ll entertain it for now, you know once you go home you could never use the thing. Edmond gives Javier an approving smile and shakes yours firmly. “This is beautiful real estate, my goodness.” It truly was, from outside it seemed like a small gallery but once you were inside the depth of the place went on, the ceilings high and there had been half walls creating canvases for exhibits.

Javier lets your hand go as you step closer to a wall with a painting of a man sitting on a stool cleaning his trumpet, attached to the wall was a shelf with two headsets and a cassette player. Just above the shelf is a label, Excerpt from L’il Liza Jane, 1916. Your eyes go wide at the date and you look back at Edmond, pointing at the display asking for permission with just the wonder in your eyes. He lets out a hearty laugh, “I’m still working on the curation for this exhibit, feel free to explore while I set up in the back. Keep her entertained.” He pushes Javier’s shoulder and walks off.

You stay in silence until you hear a room door shut from around the corner. Your eyes snap to Javier once it's safe, “Okay– how do you know this super cool old man.” You whisper, taking a few steps, your gaze meeting a drawing of Nina Simone. Javi laughs, slinging his arm over your shoulders while the two of you observe the beautiful penmanship of the all smudge ink drawing of the singer.

“I told you I visited his gallery four years ago.” He rubs his hand up and down your arm, he could always tell when you were getting cold. You had just been thanking the gods for the cool air of the museum but you chilled easier than a gold diggers heart. Your lips still purse in confusion, it just doesn't make sense. You could name 40 places you've been to in the past year and you doubt any of the workers could remember who you were.

“So you met him once and he's willing to open his place up for you.”

“Kind of– it isn't just that-”

“Romeo and Juliet, come back here.” Edmond calls from an unknown corner. Your brows pull even tighter and Javier sets off a pleased look at the announcement before taking your hand and bringing you to the back office where Edmond yelled from. You have a small smile on your bemused face, your eyes fall to half finished paintings and sculptures propped before you're at the doorway of an art studio. Edmond blocks any view with his eyes glancing down at his watch. The two of you stand in front of the man hand in hand. “I’ll be removing some vinyl lettering from the last exhibit by the Alyce Frank painting, be gentle, don’t mess with the prints. Getting reprints is expensive and it's just me, when you're done leave them there. I’ll clean them up.” He nods, giving me a smile and Javier a nod again, squeezing his shoulder and leaving once again.

The room is lit warm, open shelves and dividers holding older art line the walls. The walls painted a light gray. The rooms huge, years and years of work so meticulously separated and protected in the cases and shelves. But in the middle of the room lies a table. Your brows furrow as you approach the cluttered area. Your eyes straining to read the prints, your heart skipping a beat when you notice each print signed off the same.

Neruda

Neruda.

Your brain doesn't catch up with your heart, your body is on autopilot as you sit yourself on the stool. Your finger traces along the multiple poems laid out, the photos of him, his home, a tomb that isn't his. In the direct center is a case of pens. It was the exhibit Javier had seen all those years ago, maybe it wasn't everything but god were there a lot of poems on that table. Your eyes fall on a watercolor painting of a blue and red home.

“I was only 20 when I came here. I was miserable the entire week, I didn't find enjoyment in sight seeing if no one was there to see it with me.” You listen to Javier speak from behind you, you listen with emotion crawling in your throat but you also read.

So on the coast comes to light,

out of seething shadow, the harsh dawn,

gnawed at by the moving salt,

swept clean by the mass of night,

bloodstained in its sea-washed crater.

He knows you, he knows your silence is an invitation for more, “I strangely thought about my mother the entire week I was here. It probably had to do with all of the history, the culture, the folklore that surrounded this city. It was–it seemed like somewhere she’d run off to.” He admits. It's the first time you hear a hope in his voice, a small wish that maybe he'd run into his mother. You chew onto the inside of your lip to hide the tears that threatened to fall. He was just like you, wasn't he? “I thought of you too. At that point when I was in Houston, surrounded by work and Lorraine, I had tried to bury any thought of home. But I came here, alone and I guess it hit me.”

The piers sadden when the afternoon moors there.

My life grows tired, hungry to no purpose.

I love what I do not have. You are so far.

My loathing wrestles with the slow twilights.

But night comes and starts to sing to me.

“Anyway I ended up here, and seeing the exhibit just set me off. It was after–”

Your eyes fall to the image of the tombstone, a poem engraved in spanish. “Pure your gentle name” You whisper, low enough for you to hear but you know he heard you because he sucks in a shaky breath. You read the rest in a whisper, translating in english because you had seen it before. You know it sat framed next to the bowl where the car keys went in the Peña house.

Pure your gentle name, pure your fragile life,

bees, shadows, fire, snow, silence and foam,

combined with steel and wire and

pollen to make up your firm

and delicate being.

“My father gifted my mother a poetry book with that poem engraved in it. He gave it to her in the hospital the day I was born. She took it with her when she left, my dad has a copy of it framed. The image of the grave was next to a painting of Tina Modotti. I cried for the first time in a long time in the bathroom.” You don't dare turn to look at him because you could hear the nerves in his voice and that alone is setting you a fine line of sobs of devastation and adoration. “Edmond found me in the bathroom and you know me–I don't just open to everybody but the second he asked me if I was alright…” Javier chuckles to hide a sniffle. “Ya tu sabes, I told him everything. About my mom, about my dad… about you.”

“Me?” You whisper to yourself, Javier grumbles from behind you and finally moves to sit with you. Hurriedly you wipe your eyes, strangely, yet so him… he holds your hand. Rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. “Was he-did he-”

“His father died during his fifteenth year of being a therapist, so he had useful advice to say the least.” His hand moves to the image of the tombstone, dragging in front of both of you. “I told him that this poem gave me bad memories, remembering when she left and how I tore the house apart looking for her poetry book and my dad found me in all that clutter– I was a mess.” You leaned your head on his shoulder, the small bits of his story came in slowly but you were all ears. A hand wrapped around his bicep for comfort. Javiers free hand comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose, a choke itching in his throat. Another sniffle and you could feel the embarrassment illuminating off him, you spared him a glance and thumb his arm again. “Sorry-I don’t know why–”

Your brows furrow, eyes watery. “Don’t apologize to me–is it why you stayed in contact with Edmond? Because of your moment in the bathroom?” You ask, steering him away from the direct thought of his childhood and you could feel the relief. Baby steps, you don’t need it all. You’re just so glad he’s opening up.

Brushing a tear that got caught in his mustache, he begins again. “He just listened and asked my permission—he asked if it was okay for him to give me advice which was appreciated. He told me to give it new meaning, to remember it as my mothers but also to remember it as the love from my father. Remind myself that he gave her the book out of love for her, out of appreciation for carrying his child. Out of love for me.” Javi exhaled a laugh, “Shit, I went straight to the print shop and framed the poem when I got to Houston and then I wrote my dad a note about my conversation and sent him his own framed poem. Who knew a little therapy was all I needed.”

You screw your eyes shut in a cackle that echoed the room, rubbing your eyes clean of tears. You haven't had many people who cared enough to tell you beautiful tales of their life, you’ll take Javi’s broken stories any time. You looked around again, reality setting in. Javier Peña had an entire art gallery archive pulled for you– just for your date, he had been so grumpy all day and last night when you teased him about his gift probably because he was anxious for your reaction to him opening his heart out in front of you. It was the most romantic gift you've ever received.

It’s him who makes you feel the most loved and he hasn’t even said the words yet. Maybe it’s you who must say it first.

“Javier Peña, you're a romantic.” Is all you can manage to say, you say it with a smirk on your lips nonetheless. Gaze flitting up to him as his lips turn upwards beneath that mustache of his. Eyes narrowing in a failed attempt to keep a straight face but they crinkle and shine beneath.

“Don’t tell anyone, it’ll ruin my reputation.” He mumbles and you roll your eyes, slinging your arms over his shoulders and kissing him deep. Soft lips against yours and that so familiar manly feeling his mustache tickling your nose. He smiles between the kiss, slipping a risqué tongue. Pressing so hard you nearly tip off the stool. “Tan bella, Andrea, perfect.” He murmurs as you part, your lips raw from the make out intermission. Dizzy, light headed, you lean your head on his shoulder once more and take in the place around you.

All soft light and all his personal history. And selfishly for a moment you envied him for knowing his mother enough to miss. You suddenly felt so silly for crying until you slept over someone who offered you nothing to miss. You want to pinch yourself to reprimand the silliness of it. Andrea, don’t you know you aren’t the only girl to have a dad up and leave? Why does your world have to end?

“I was having what seemed to be a panic attack when I called you Thursday night.” Javier admits in hushed tones, like someone was in the room other than you. Like he’s ashamed to be so vulnerable. “I had this date planned in my head after the night you begged me to be honest with you, when you walked in on me reading the details for this trip. I planned the whole weekend out just for us before I ever offered. I was a little nervous to ask you, figured you’d tell me I’m crazy and that the risk was too high.”

The crease between your brow deepens, “I’ll always say yes to you.” You whisper like a prayer, a promise.

He mumbles an, I know, “When your brother came over to talk to me about you, about your grandmother and the possibility of you seeing your father in New Orleans I panicked. I had this full body ache of knowing I needed to be there for you when you see them and a weird chest spasm when I thought of it going wrong, then you cried on the phone and told me all you wanted was a family.” He says the last part fragile, gentle and pure. Like him repeating it pains him just as much as you. Yet you feel embarrassment more than pain, embarrassed to have been so desperate and needy that night, and sure you felt it deep in your bones but verbalizing it to someone else—fuck did that make your cheeks heat.

You grimace, trying to conceal the genuine heart ache you felt hearing him recall that night. You offer nothing to say, afraid of speaking and breaking down on your first date with the boy you’ve dreamt of being with.

He spares you, shuffling in his seat, causing for you to sit straight as he fished in his pocket. While attempting to pull a box from his denim he talks, “But then I thought about how I had this planned—that it might help with what you might be feeling—fuck hold on.” He stands and digs his hands entirely into his trousers.

He pulls out a tiny box, your heart nearly falls until you realize it’s far too thin to be what you wanted deep inside—you abandon that thought. Not now, too soon. He sits again, and fully turns to you as the box lays unopened on the image of his mother’s favorite poem. “I told you on the phone that I was your family. Andrea, I really mean it. No matter what happens tomorrow—you are meeting them with a family and you’re leaving with one too.” He pats the box. And you tear your eyes away from him as they begin to well.

Your shaking hands fumbling for the box.

Thumbnail slipped under its lid to delicately open the thing. And your heart swells beyond its capacity, “Oh Javi.” You whisper, there sitting on a reprint of Neruda is a box with interior engraving.

Pure your gentle name, pure your fragile life,

bees, shadows, fire, snow, silence and foam,

combined with steel and wire and

pollen to make up your firm

and delicate being.

And sat so perfectly in the box were a pair of earrings. Small gold bees, its wings spread and instead of a striped abdomen and stinger, in its place sat a red stone carved in a perfect shape for the little insect. Your heart is going wild, so filled with love and appreciation. You wondered if this was real, if he was real? Will this end with, and it was all a dream? Will I wake up alone again?

“Is-is that my birthstone?”

Javier nods, “I had it made on Tuesday when you saw me in the grocery store, I got nervous because the gift bag was in my hand.”

You chuckle between tears, your hands reaching to remove the bees from its plush purple hive. “I didn’t notice—Javi-“

“I gifted my dad the poem to show him appreciation for being my family. You’re the only person in my family missing an heirloom. So that every time you wear it you’re reminded that you have a family.”

Your brows quirk as you break out into tears, placing the jewelry back in its place and attacking your perfect boyfriend, your family, the hardest most aggressive kiss of all time. Nearly knocking him clear off his seat, you press into him so tightly you could feel his heart race against yours. And the kiss is all teeth and passion and frankly too charged for an art museum but you couldn’t care. You loved him so much, you cried hard like you’ve just been proposed to. Somehow this beats that fantasy.

And so unlike Javier who tried to keep his serious manly face when you were this eager, he smiles and chuckles against your thankful, thankful lips. Parting for a breath you realize there had been tears from him too, with blurred eyes his thumb finds your cheek and like always he pushes away his own tears to clean up yours. His own cheeks wet, he thumbs your tears dry. No longer do they have to dry on their own. You couldn’t do this anymore, you cannot bear not telling him.

“Javi— I lo-“

“My goodness did I just interrupt a proposal!” Edmond enters the room with a gasp, his eyes bouncing from a jewelry box, a pile of Neruda poems and a teary eyed couple inches from devouring each other whole.

Javier looks at you with an embarrassed smirk, his cheeks burning up under your own hand as you quickly wipe away his tears too.

"Actually this is our first date."

#javier peña #javier peña x ofc #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena x you #javier peña smut #ao3 #fanfic #javier peña narcos #javier pena x reader

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katebacks · 2 years

Text

Series The Bet: Haunted House - JHK

→ pairing | Jung Hoseok x Reader

→ genre | smut, angst, enemys to lovers!au

→ word count | 6,431

→ summary | Because of your friends, Hoseok thought you hated him, and you thought the same. But after they bet on spending Halloween Eve night in an abandoned house, everything changes.

→ warnings |sex, Adult content(a lot), alcoholic beverages, low slang words.

→ A/N| Please reblog and like if you liked it, Tumblr is loving to end blogs around here by cutting their visibility. DON'T DO WHAT THE CHARACTERS DID. I'm not talking about sex, if you are of legal age and want to, do it. I'm talking about going to abandoned places at night. Be careful, there are a lot of bad people in the world just waiting for a chance to hurt you. Stay safe. The house is not haunted at all, so don't worry, there's nothing terrifying about this story.

“I can’t fucking believe that we are doing this.” It must have been the fifteenth time the boy next to you had said the same sentence, it was almost like it was in a loop. And you completely agreed with him, you didn't believe you were doing such a stupid thing, mostly, you didn't believe you were heading towards an abandoned house next to Jung Hoseok, the most beautiful and most annoying man you knew. The vodka you had been drinking nonstop for two hours before getting in that car wasn't making you any more comfortable with the situation. But you had to take that bet, there was no way you were going to let your friends think you were scared to spend the Halloween night in the most famous abandoned house in town; even if you were hella scared. "Why the hell did you have to bet me too?" He took his eyes off the road for a second, staring at her and then back to the street dimly lit by the car's headlights. "Were you that desperate to be alone with me in a place, but are you so proud to say, that you had to take the two of us to an abandoned house?"

Although you sometimes wanted to beat Hoseok until he passed out, you couldn't deny how cute he was. He had that emo badboy vibe, wore dark eye makeup and painted his nails black, and wore really heavy clothes. He had that hate-filled look in his eyes, but at the same time, his expression didn't say anything. And that black hair, god you wanted to get your fingers into that hair. You weren't sure why you hated him so much, maybe it was to mask all the lust and attraction you felt for him, maybe it was the fact that you felt annoyed that you were the only one of your friends who hadn't slept with him. And you also didn't know why he hated you so much, you just knew that from the first time you saw each other, you started insulting each other.

"You can keep dreaming, Hoseok, because the only reason I bet you is to prove to everyone that you're just a scared chicken."

He snorted.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll believe it one day." The two then fell silent again, the atmosphere in the car heavy, and it was so quiet outside that you could only hear the car's engine. You then started feeling anxious and rethinking the whole situation. You were going to a place in the middle of nowhere, a house hidden in the middle of the forest, in a place where no living soul had stepped in years; except of course the drunk and drugged wanderers who were likely to commit crimes and hide in the house. It wasn't a place for two young adults to go to at dawn. It was very dangerous and that's how horror movies started: with two idiots snooping around where they shouldn't.

"Okay, maybe this was a bad idea, Hoseok." He arched an eyebrow, but he didn't take his eyes off the road or said a word. "This can be quite dangerous, we don't know what we can find there." And you paused. "Perhaps we should both give up this challenge and accept whatever the punishment is."

"I'll not give up." he scoffed. "If you want wimp out, go ahead, I'll stop the car and you'll go back." He said slowing the car down, and you widened your eyes.

"Are you going to let me go back by my self? Down this deserted road?"

"Or you can just stop being a coward and finish the damn dare."

“Ugh, fine.” You crossed your arms, huffing and leaning back in the seat. "But if I die, I'm going to make your life hell,"

"If you die, I will too, honey."

And for some strange reason, you felt comfortable with the nickname.

A few minutes later, after being silent again, both saw a dirt road that entered the forest, when approaching closer, you saw a huge tree fallen to the ground, blocking the entire passage. Due to its size, you would not be able to go around it, you would have to walk from there. Hoseok stopped the car as close to the side of the road as possible, turned off the engine and both got out of the car, feeling the temperature drop instantly. You hugged your body, while the guy went to the trunk and took out a backpack. After locking the car, he was the first to jump over the tree, turning around and waiting for you. You still felt like that was a bad idea. And Hoseok knew it. He glued his eyes together and moistened his lips before speaking.

"Do you want to stay in the car?" He could see your eyes twinkling when he suggested it. And he found it adorable.

"Will you stay with me?" You had never used such a soft tone of voice with him before, and he might not admit it, but he liked it. And it would be interesting to spend the night in a car with you, but he was too proud for that.

"I'm not giving up on the challenge, (y/n). I'm staying in the house." You shook your head, your jaw quivering too much from the cold to argue, then just sighed and headed towards the tree, climbing it. When you stood on top of the fallen log, Hoseok who was on the other side, adjusted the backpack on his back and stretched his arms towards you, helping you down, and before the mood started to get weird, he started walking again down the dirt road towards the abandoned house.

The road was surrounded by giant trees that covered the sky with their leaves, not letting you see above them. It was cold down there, and the street grew dark as you went further. You could hear crickets, tree branches bumping against each other pushed by the wind, you could hear the wind whistling violently, and you could hear your heart beating in your ear. You've never been afraid of the dark, you've never had to sleep with the light on, you've never been afraid of what could be hiding in your closet or under your bed, but at that moment you were afraid of what might be lurking behind those trees.

You looked at Hoseok, and he didn't look scared at all, in fact he looked thoughtful. And focused. He was a very confident guy, he trusted himself and in his abilities, whatever he wanted, he would go out there and get it. You envied that about him. And your thoughts were interrupted when you heard something like dry branches being broken, as if someone was stepping on them, and it came from the middle of the bush. The sound made you involuntarily jump to Hoseok's side and grab his hand and his arm, both of you stopping walking as you stared at the place where the noise seemed to have come from. The boy looked at you, all curled up as you held on to him and he could only smile, that was the first time you had touched him willingly. Another sound of the same kind came from the bushes and you stifled a squeak, turning all at once towards him, bumping into his body, hiding your face in his chest, closing your eyes tightly, hugging him around the waist. You've never been so terrified, and that wasn't funny.

"Hey, it's okay." Hoseok tried to calm you down, hugging you and running his hand through your hair, not trying to push you away, just trying to reassure you that nothing was going to happen. "You're safe with me, don't worry. It's just a few branches snapping, there's nothing to fear, I promise."

"What if it's some wild animal? A bear or a wolf."

"We don't have animals in these forests, the most it can be is a stray cat, it won't hurt us." His voice was extremely calm, and smooth, and oddly enough, you were starting to calm down. You never thought that one day you would be soothed by Jung Hoseok, but at that moment, he didn't seem to hate you that much. Then you slowly lifted your head, opening your startled eyes and looking at the image of his dimly lit face, he stared back at you, bringing one of his hands to your cheek, caressing it slowly before coming to his senses and realizing what was happening. He cleared his throat and took a step back. "Let's go on, huh?" You blinked slowly before nodding, ducking your head, trying to ignore your burning cheeks. "Come on, hold my hand." He said reaching out his hand to you which you accepted quickly, letting his big hand encircle yours.

The rest of the way to the house was calm, and although you were still startled by the noises of the forest, having Hoseok's palm against yours was helping you not to lose your mind. A few minutes later, you were able to visualize at the very bottom, at the end of that road, a very humble little house. As you got closer, the feeling that something could go wrong increased. And knowing that it wouldn't do any good to ask Hoseok to come back and forget about that damn bet, you just took a deep breath, as if you were already preparing for the worst.

When you finally got to the house, you could see how deplorable it was. The wood was faded and rotten. The window panes were broken and the porch wood creaked as they stepped on it. The front door was half open, and the moonlight that had illuminated most of its way there didn't reach inside the house. Hoseok took a flashlight out of his backpack and you frowned, you didn't know people still used those things even with the advancement of technology and flashlights in cell phones. Although it was better to use up your flashlight battery than to use up your cell phone battery and not be able to call the police if you had to.

Hoseok used the tip of the flashlight to push the door open, It creaked until it hit the wall. The first thing he saw was a large living room, with two old sofas and the upholstery torn apart, a coffee table in front of it with shattered glass strewn across the floor. There was a fireplace across the room, beer bottles crammed into it, and there was also a staircase that led to the other floor of the house. Walking around, following Hoseok, you could see condom wrappers and used condoms scattered on the floor. And couldn't help but notice the strong smell of urine.

"This place is disgusting, ugh!" You complained, covering your mouth and nose with the sleeve of your sweatshirt.

"Let's take a look up there, maybe it's better than down here." Hoseok commented, walking towards the stairs, and you followed him, even knowing that in a dilapidated house like that, the floor could give way under your feet at any moment. Upstairs, there were three rooms on the left side of the hallway and one on the right, at the very end. . Only the door on the right side was closed, while the others were wide open. Those rooms were bedrooms and everything was like downstairs, dirty, with destroyed furniture, and with boards on the windows, there were broken bottles everywhere and used condoms on the floor. "This place is perfect for catching seven different types of diseases. When we get out of here we're going to have to burn our clothes and shower with disinfectant and alcohol.”

“Agreed.” Hoseok turned to you, shining the flashlight into your face, causing you to frown and use your hand to block the excessive light that was in your eyes. “Hey, what are you doing?”

"Did you just agree with me?"

"Yes, can't I?"

Hoseok raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything, despite being curious, he decided not to follow his curiosity and just turned the other way, heading towards the door at the end of the hall, it l led to a bathroom and surprisingly it was the cleanest place in the entire house. And even though it was still dusty and the sink was inside the bathtub, it was still the only place in the house you could sit on the floor, without risking touching someone's sperm or urine.

"Well, I think this is the only suitable place for us to spend the night." Hoseok said bending down, he supported the backpack on his thigh, and pulled out a blanket, unfolding it and placing it on the floor. He also took a bottle of vodka and a juice box out of his backpack, making you wonder why he was carrying those things.

"Why do you carry this stuff?" The boy looked up at you for a second before opening the bottle of vodka and taking a sip. He then extended the bottle towards you, who raised an eyebrow, there wasn't much to do there, so drinking would be your only source of entertainment. Shrugging you reached for the vodka and took a sip, grimacing as you felt the drink burning down your throat. Hoseok laughed and handed you the juice box, feeling much better after drinking it.

"I like to be prepared for any kind of situation. I can get drunk anywhere, and I can get drunk and sleep anywhere." And he smiled, patting the floor beside him, signaling you to sit next to him, and again without many options, you did, leaning against the wall and sharing the bottle of liquor with him;

Two hours had passed and the bottle of liquor was almost half full, you and Hoseok should have had half a dozen fits of laughter while drinking and talking, you had never been together this long without insulting each other or talking, and that made you curious, he actually seemed like a nice guy, so why the hell did you guys hate each other?

"Why you hate me?" You asked amid laughter, causing Hoseok who was catching his breath from his last laugh to look at you before letting out a dry laugh.

“You tell me, preppy girl, why do you think I hate you so much?”

“I have no idea.” You shrugged. "It's just that every time you look at me, I feel like your gaze will penetrate my soul or something. And you always pay so much attention to my girlfriends, but never to me." You giggled, feeling your face numb. "Fuck, my cheeks are numb."

"I don't pay attention to your friends, they chase me up and down, god, I've never seen girls as clingy as they are. It gives me the chills." Hoseok bent one leg and rested one arm on his knee, while leaving the other stretched out and leaning his head against the wall, facing the bathroom ceiling. "And I don't know why you're friends with them, they're not good company, I've seen them badmouthing you to other guys." And so he looked at you, seeing you curiously, with your mouth slightly open and eyes fixed on him. "Even for me."

"They don't do that."

"Yes they do." He laughed. "Don't be innocent, when I asked them if you were single, they told me yes, but that you would have no interest in me, and that you thought I was a junkie with no future."

"I never said that." Your voice came out louder than it should have and you instantly covered your mouth with both hands, starting to laugh, just like him. "I never said that." You whispered, turning around and crossing your legs, facing him. "Actually I think you're very talented, I went to Tequilas on Friday to see your performance and look, you're the best Rapper I've ever met."

He frowned, and because of the alcohol you didn't realize how much his eyes lit up to hear that you had watched his performance and that you liked it.

"You were there?"

"Yeah, I went with the girls, but I left before them as they told me that after the show they would meet with you and have a threesome."

“What?”

“Threesome, ya know, when three people...”

“I know what it is, babe, I'm referring to what they said. I didn't do any of that with them, I can use drugs sometimes but I never forget what I do and I don't usually do stupid things.” And he looked angry. "What other lies were those girls telling you?"

"I don't know… They talk a lot about you." You said thoughtfully, it was only then that it dawned on you that he had called you babe. "Did you just call me babe?"

"Yes babe, but stay focused, what else do these girls say about me?"

"Hmm, well they say you prefer naughty girls, said you hate the quiet ones, that they've had sex with you in several places and that you fuck really good."

“Oh, I do fuck really good but I don’t know how the hell would they know ‘cause I've never had sex with any of them.”

“And they said you said that I'm weird... and gross.” Hoseok's eyes widened and he watched you lower your head for a few seconds before lifting his chin and looking at him again, giving a wan smile. "And that's ok, everyone has the right to have their opinions..." And before you could continue, Hoseok took his hand on the back of your neck and pulled you all at once towards him, your lips collapsing in a violent kiss, where he stuck his tongue in your mouth, leaving you gasping for air. You were forced to unfold your legs and get on your knees as every second he pulled you closer and closer to him, your hands going to his hair, your fingers fulfilling a dream. And when he pulled his lips away, both with deep breaths and racing hearts, he looked into your eyes, again that look that seemed to penetrate your soul making you shiver.

"I don't think you're gross. I think you're the most wonderful, hottest woman in this town. And if every time I look at you, you feel that my gaze is penetrating you, it's because the thing I want most in this world since I laid eyes on you is to fuck you until I come inside you and make you come so hard around my dick that you would forget about any other man that had passed in your life.” And he gave you a peck, a long, hot peck. "I never even touched any of those girls, I just wanted you, I just want you." And he kissed you again, your will matching his at such a rapid rate that the next thing you knew, you were sitting on his lap, his hands squeezing your ass as your nails scratched the back of his neck. "And I don't mind if you're a quiet one, I can make you go pretty loud."

"I've never had sex under the influence of alcohol, that's weird." You chuckled between kisses. He grinned.

"What's weird?"

"The urge I have to just take these pants off and jump on your dick."

"You can do that if you want." He whispered, kissing down to her neck.

"Not here, there are already a lot of condoms scattered around this house."

"Then let's go elsewhere."

"But what about the bet?"

"Fuck this stupid bet, I just want you all over me."

You got up, staggered back, but leaned against the wall to keep from falling, laughing silly. Hoseok gathered all his things and turned on the flashlight once more, leaving the room. He waited for you to follow him and extended his hand towards you, this time you not only intertwined your fingers with his, but also grabbed his arm with your other hand, leaning on him, feeling as if your legs were jelly. Laughing as you went down the stairs, you were much more comfortable with the whole situation, no longer frightened by the creaks coming from the forest. Once again when you reached the fallen tree, Hoseok grabbed you around the waist, helping you to jump over it. Running clumsily towards the car, he unlocked the car alarm and you climbed into the backseat, undressing. The guy tossed his backpack into the driver's seat before ducking in front of the back door and looking at you. His eyes roaming every inch of your body until you were completely naked.

“Someone's eager”

“Aren’t you?” You whispered, slowly spreading your legs giving him a wide view of what he wanted most. Hoseok licked his lips and started to undress outside the car, being tall he wouldn't be able to do it in the car as quickly as he wanted, throwing his clothes on the front seats. And when he finished taking off his pants, he found a packet of condoms in his pocket, getting into his car and slamming the door behind him. Breathing so heavy he could feel his lungs working. With one knee propped up on the bench while he wore the condom, you fingered your wet space, his eyes alternating between down there and into your eyes. You then grabbed his waist, pulling him towards you. Hoseok rested his right hand on the back seat and his left hand on the passenger seat as he positioned himself, hovering over you.

And he swore as he started to get in, feeling you tighten around him, pulsing, your moans echoing throughout the car, invading his ears, making him roll his eyes and with one hand hold your neck. He started slowly, moving his hips slowly, eyes glued to your face, watching the pleasure wash over you, your lips parted, sometimes biting your lips, frowning. He also watched as you gripped the edges of the seat, your fingers sinking into the upholstery, your legs up, curling your toes, your chest pounding, your nipples hard, your body tingling, god, and it was all because of him. It was all because of his thick dick going in and out of you, hard as a rock, stretching your walls, touching your weak spots, it was all about that slim, beautiful, drawn body. It was all because of that face, those eyes upon you, the pleasure that had spread across that long, thin face. Hoseok was more than a man, he was a work of art, a piece of paradise, the male version of Aphrodite. A god who should be treated well, venerated. And you were sure you would do anything for him. You never hated him, it was all lust, desire.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" His voice was low, lustful and inquisitive, using his thumb to caress your parted lip.

“Only you.” You whispered back, licking his thumb before taking it in your mouth. He let out a low growl, lowering his body and taking your lips in a slow kiss that turned into a fiery kiss as he increased the speed at which his hips moved, bumping against yours, the noise certainly echoed out of that car, onto that deserted street where nothing but the wind could be heard. Your voice was muffled by his mouth, but as soon as he pulled away, kissing your chest until he was sucking on your nipple, you threw your head back, slamming it against the door, your moans getting louder and louder, following the force with which he thrust. “Fuck. It feels so good.” He didn't say anything, just bit your nipple, bringing his hands to your waist, moving your hips against his so easily it was as if he controlled you body with the power of his mind. And when the first orgasm came, so suddenly, you screamed, arching your back as he continued to move, feeling you tighten around him, your pussy so wet it dripped onto the seat, wetting the leather. Hoseok hugged your body, he sat down bringing you onto his lap, burying his face in your hair as you calmed down a little, your body shaking.

"Are you okay?"

"Fuck way more than okay." You laughed, your hips starting to move involuntarily, your body burning with arousal, his cock was buried so deep inside you that you didn't know how long it would be until you were coming again. You leaned your body back, using your arms to lean on the two seats in front, wiggling your hips as you went up and down, the guy let his head fall back, eyes on you, on how your breasts swayed, at how your body danced on top of him. He licked his fingers, and while one hand went towards your breast, pinching your nipple, the other went down to your pussy, and he didn't even need to wet his fingers, as what he found down there was a puddle of water, his fingers sliding in circles over your clit. Your sly moans no longer had control, as well as your body that while riding him, was rubbing against his fingers, needing more contact, needing to release that tension. “Shit i’m com...” And you barely managed to finish your sentence, screaming as you felt your core tighten and release all at once, your body going limp, squeezing your toes and closing your eyes tightly. Hoseok held your waist, pulling your body to him again, hugging you and stroking your hair while laughing with satisfaction.

"Twice, baby? You're being so nice to me." He kissed your shoulder lightly. "Think you can get one more?"

“Fuck, yes.” You stated, pressing your lips to his and hugging him around the neck as you moved your hips again, this time starting faster and harder, with his hands cupping your ass and helping you to ride. "I want you to cum on me, Hoseok."

"If you keep moving like this, I will." And it was what you needed to increase the speed, this time you ran your hand behind your body, throwing your body back a little, holding the back of his neck while the other hand went down to his balls, massaging. And he swore, bringing his fingers to your clit again. “Fuck babe, you’re so good. On Monday we're going to do a blood test, and when we prove to each other that we're clean, I'm going to fuck you so hard and I'm going to come so hard inside you that you will be marked by me forever, fuck."

And the sweat was running down your body, as was his, glistening in the light that came from outside the car. You could feel him coming and you could feel that burning in your core, you were ready to come one more time and you wanted so much for him to fill you all over, until not a drop was left. You just wanted to be his. It was everything you ever wanted.

"Fuck, I'm...." And he grabbed your body, making you stop moving, his cock pulsing inside you, your walls feeling every inch of him, his fingers stimulating you, making you come again, this time not having the strength to move anymore, your body going numb. You hugged each other, your head on his shoulder and his against the seat, so tired and out of breath that you waited a good few minutes for either of you to say something. Who needed drugs to ease the pressure when Jung Hoseok was there to make her come?

"I think we should go back." You whispered, your face against his neck as he stroked your hair. "Everyone must be waiting for us to give up on the bet."

"Keep them waiting, bunch of assholes." he whispered back. "Those bitches made you think I didn't want anything to do with you when I really only wanted you. Let's go to my house, take a shower and rest so we can have a whole day of trick or treat, in my bed, of course." He laughed and you lifted your head, looking at him. "And if you want, of course. "

"This will be the best Halloween of my life."

#jung hoseok x reader #jung hoseok x you #jung hoseok smut #jung hoseok angst #jhope smut #jung hoseok #bts smut #jhope x reader #jhope #bangtanarmynet #thekpopnetwork #houseofddaeng

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cupoftaae · 1 year

Text

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ it's so easy to love you, flaws and all (chapter 10)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

wc- 5k

chapter warnings- swearing, anxiety mentions, possible pregnancy mentions, minor angst, theres no smut but references to it (flashbacks), drinking,

a/n- Hi guys! im back early with another chapter to make up for skipping a few weeks! i wanted to let you guys know that any time there is a long dialogue written in italic- it is a flashback !!

Enjoy guys, Love ya!!

-nini

You woke up at 8am to the sound of pans banging in the kitchen, immediately you smiled, knowing your mom had gotten up early to start baking.

A look over to your left would remind you taehyung fell asleep in your bedroom last night....you couldn't help but feel bad, he was so crammed up against the wall, and he definitely would be complaining of back pain later on.

You shifted slightly, allowing room to pull the covers back and plant your feet on the ground. You slept, but not for long.

You were still feeling a bit off after having an episode last night, but the startling realization that came soon after only further prevented you from getting the 8 hours of sleep you so desperately needed.

Your feet clashed against the cold tiles of your bathroom as you slowly shut the door and turned the light on. Your phone was still sitting on the counter near the sink, exactly where Taehyung had left in last night.

You brushed your teeth and contemplated whether you should quickly text them back to clear things up. You promised Taehyung no phone, but this situation was becoming much more serious.

Your eyes gazed to your reflection, sighing.

theres no way....right?

you've been late before, it wasn't some odd occurrence to your body. you grew up playing soccer, dancing and doing track, your teenage athletic self always had weird period dates

But then again, that was a while ago.

You felt guilty for many reasons, 1 being the fact that if you are what you think you are, how could you have been so careless with what you did?

You always used some form of contraception, you even planned to get an IUD implanted when you see your doctor in a few weeks, just so you didn't have any scares.

you also felt guilty for if you were pregnant...

You knew you couldn't be a mom, hell, you could barley take care of Yeontan or yourself.

You also knew Taehyung on the other hand, would absolutely love this, which breaks your heart.

"I don't know, I think it would be fun" taehyung said, reaching into the bowl to grab more popcorn

"It doesn't sound or look fun, taehyung, babies are menaces" You scoffed, looking at him

"oh well I dont think so....I know when I get older someday I think I'll have some...only one or two, depends on what my future spouse wants" he shrugged

"you do realize babies need attention and care, its not like a dog where you put the food in a bowl and leave it to fend for themselves..?" you joked, watching your friend contemplate parenthood at the ripe age of 20.

"Its fun to think about" he smiled softly, looking over at tannie who sat with his tail wagging. He sure was easy to care for, what more work is a human baby?

oh was he naive.

You washed your face and brushed your hair, trying to get out a knot from sleeping with a ponytail in, when taehyung awoke and began to knock on the door.

"baby..." he whispered, seeing the light on, "you in there?"

You smiled and walked over, unlocking the door and pulling him in happily.

"happy birthday!" he whisper yelled, immediately attacking you with kisses and pulling your smaller frame into a hug, "I love you!"

You giggled and kissed him back, hands wrapping over his shoulders, "thank you....I love you too, even if you slept in my bed last night" you smirked

"hey, you told me to!" he added, pulling away

"shh!" you put a hand over his mouth, his deep voice echoing through the room, "I was in a state of weakness, and I really hope my mom didn't see you in here"

He shrugged and moved to hug your from behind, both of you facing the mirror and looking at your reflection, it was sweet.

"so was I the first person to say it?"

you raised an eyebrow and and tilted your head as you applied moisturizer

"happy birthday, did I beat your mom to it?" he giggled, making you smile and nod, "yes, tae you did, you won"

"oh really? what do i win" he smirked and pushed you against him, his face finding the crook of your neck too easily.

"ah-" you tensed and pulled back, knowing if he continued you would have gave in right then in there. "nothing until we get back to Busan"

He frowned, trying to get you to change your mind, "baby."

"taehyung! we are not fucking in my mothers house, let alone my childhood bedroom!" you whispered loudly, making him explode in laughter.

"hey, I was just gonna ask for a massage, I didnt say anything about sex, but now that you mention-"

"no"

"damnit"

You smiled at his antics as he returned his head to your shoulder, humming softly, "you look better, you feeling good, too?"

You nodded, "yeah, I guess...still a bit iffy but mentally im better"

"good" he kissed your cheek and looked at your phone, taking it silently and sliding it into his pocket, making you frown.

As afraid to admit as you were, things were slightly coming together now....in a light you wish was dimmed.

When you came downstairs your mother surprised you with a huge birthday breakfast, something you expected hence the fact she does it every year- but what you had not expected was you trying to fight the urge to vomit all over the plate at the scent of the scrambled eggs.

You swore up and down to both your mother and tae that you were okay, just still feeling the effects from last nights situation, but the moment you were alone in your room for the first time since youve been here, you began to break.

"What if's" filling your head as you cried silently against the shut door, deep deep down you believed you would possibly laugh about this later on, like "oh remember how I was so dramatic and thought I was pregnant? what a funny time!"

"Y/N?" your mother called, knocking on the door, "we are leaving for lunch in 15, almost ready?"

you sighed, feeling bad for your bad mood against your mom who was just happy to have you in her presence. "yes, almost..."

She had thrown together a small reservation for the 3 of you at a local wine and dine restaurant, you were feeling a bit more hungry now and were grateful for that.

Putting on a black tank top and jeans, you curled your hair and put some makeup on, all while that silly little voice in your head kept nagging at you that something bad was happening.

You tried to calm yourself, even going as far as saying that even if you had gotten pregnant, you would figure out a way to deal when you got back to Busan...you just wanted to enjoy your vacation.

All of you had made it out the house on time, taehyung offering to drive to the place while you and your mother sat in the back seat. You gazed at every passing store, seeking out any type of pharmacy available. You wished you could use your phone map, but you know....

"you will love this place, My friend took me here after one of my doctor appointments last week, the food is to die for!" your mother patted your back on the way into the small yet lavish building, the spring flowers making your nose itch.

"oh thats nice, was it stacey who took you? or Linna?" you responded

She giggled softly as you waited in line to check in for your reservation, "no, actually he is a new worker, his name is Ji-Tae"

Your eyes widened, turning to taehyung behind you, who was making a smug face, mouthing the word "he?"

You pouted, "I see..."

you were skeptical. You always want your mom to be happy, and for sure you understand how lonely she is living alone with such a big house filled with things your dad had built for her before fleeing your family to be in a different one.

The food was good, and you ate a lot of it.

Your mother insisted to buy you a drink to go with your pasta, making you hesitant, so the glass sat full in front of you.

"is it not good?" she would ask, making you race to come up with some excuse that wasnt related to the possible fact you could be pregnant.

"Oh I took a sip" you lied, "its good but I dont think I should be drinking right now"

She beamed up, seeming happy "oh? how come?" she smiled knowingly

Taehyung took a sip of his wine and raised his eyebrows, confused.

You panicked quickly, "because I am still not one hundred precent, health wise, so you know-"

"I'll drink it!" he smiled and took a sip, face scrunching at the mixture of his alcohol.

"dont mix, its not good to-" your mom began

"and we dont want you to get drunk" you gently rubbed his back, giving him a knowing glare, he nodded.

You nervously continued to pick at your lunch scraps

"hey we should get coffee or something after this, theres a store plaza down the street" your mom insisted, offering to drive you both

"that sounds fun" he looked at you, smiling

"yes, im down"

It fell silent, not in a weird way, it was peaceful...the wind coming in from the window near you had your hair flowing like you were in a covergirl commercial, and the sun only made your skin look shiny and tan.

Taehyung couldn't keep his eyes off you

Even sitting here eating, doing nothing particularly interesting, you were the only thing that had his attention, you've always been so effortlessly beautiful in his eyes.

"you are glowing, y/n" your mom smiled, taking her eyes off her phone to look at you, "dont you think, taehyung?"

"I agree" he hummed, making you blush.

Your mother began to ramble about something to do with her job while he got lost in thought, something hes done a lot the past 24 hours.

He couldn't help his mind racing back to the first time he felt this feeling, this feeling of admiration and love when he realized he saw you differently...

"You cant, your- you aree a cheater!!" you slurred, tripping over yourself as you walked to the living room again

He giggled, putting his wine down and pulling you to sit next to him, "just because I know how to play the game, doesnt mean I cheated"

It was almost 3am, he had finished working in his office around 11pm and promised to spend time with you as you both had fallen into a habit doing.

you would cook, prepare wine and entertainment, and he would get to destress and spend time away from his laptop.

Obviously, one look at the both of you right now, you can tell who handles their alcohol better...

"Fool" you scoffed and sat down with a thump, leaning against him in the dark room.

"be nice" he teased, his hand poking into your side.

He had to admit, spending so much time with you was nice, he realized you had matured a lot emotionally since hes met you, and you both had grown into semi-adults with real lives and things to talk about, it was an odd but fascinating thing for him.

He also had to admit, that for the first time in his life, seeing you against him with your hair sprawled out and your shirt scrunched up, revealing a bit of your soft stomach, made his heart somersault.

You also had grown into him in a way you never saw coming, he was so easy to just be next to, so easy to talk to, so easy to know and love, and that is why it led to what it did....

He gently cupped your face, titling you up so your eyes met his

"so pretty" he blushed and whispered, making you giggle in even your drunk state

"I know you are but what am I?" you raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh as he pushed your hair back, brushing it with his long fingers softly.

"Y/n.....?" he spoke after a moment, the room filled with tension- and no longer from the card game you had just fought over.

"yeah?" your face froze, eyes scanning over him,

he gently took your hand and placed it onto his chest

"your heart is beating reallyyy fast" you smiled

"yea, i know"

You watched his eyes draw to your lips before going back up, making you smirk.

"you wanna kiss me?" you teased, watching him blush even more, he was practically a tomato right now.

"I- uh,"

"you can if you want" your hand slid up over his shoulder, relaxing at his nape as you sat closer, nudging his nose with yours.

He swallowed harshly, feeling sick a bit, and was unable to identify if it was the rush of emotions or the drinks.

"dont overthink...its just a kiss" you whispered

and with that he pressed his lips to yours, softly swiping his tongue into your mouth.

It was just a kiss.

yeah, it was a kiss the next day too, after he finished work, you sat waiting for him, sober this time.

You ate then made out for a few hours before falling asleep- he was content, knowing you not only liked it too, but continued to want him.

thats how it was for a few days, things were normal until 11pm, then anyone onlooking would consider you both in love...and he loved that

He was a sensitive person, still is, when he feels something he feels it deeply and quick, He was only growing more in love with you by the day, and was convinced you felt the same.

that was, until it was about a week and a half into this escapade

"I want you" you panted, his lips sucking just under your clavicle as your hands gripped his hair.

You both were sprawled out on the couch, completely sober as you passionately made out, the puzzle that had been started was no longer interesting to either of you.

He sat back a bit, looking at you, "what?"

suddenly you felt embarrassed, "we dont have to do anything" you covered

He sat looking at you, it only made you feel self conscious, so you sat up and wrapped your arms over your bra, hiding your chest.

He wasnt mad, or shocked, he just couldnt believe you were asking to...to take things to this level, to be intimate with him.

You both have only been doing this for a little while, but he felt like its been forever-perhaps its due to the fact you both grew up together, he knows you, you know him, it felt safe...and right.

He didnt want to rush anything, but his heart was beating so damn hard right now, "y-yeah? you want to?"

You blushed, "yeah..." you watched his face light up, a small shy smile on his lips "its just sex..ya know? it doesn't hurt anyone"

He nodded, trying to figure out what to say or do now

"so is it okay?"

"of course, y/n, yeah..." he smiled again, feeling so glad in knowing you trusted him.

You laid back again, pulling him down and kissing him, "no strings?" you asked

oh.

Of course you dont want this to be a serious thing, it wasnt who you were, he should have known that....but yet he was still hurt.

"yeah....n-no strings"

and thats how that came to be.

He snapped out of his head and took a sip of his drink, smiling at you, your eyes met his and you blushed a bit, mouthing "what?"

He shook his head, "nothing"

Things might be different now between you both, but one thing that hasnt left or changed is the admiration he saves for just you.

"this is so cute, huh?" your mom turns to you, showing a mannequin with a summer dress on it

"aww it is" you walked over and felt it

"i'll buy it" she smiles, "birthday gift"

"ah! you dont have to eomma-"

"i want to, shush" she giggled and grabbed a medium off the rack, putting it into her shopping basket, you kissed her cheek, thanking her and linking arms while you walked.

"wheres taehyung?" she asked

just as she finished speaking:

"guys look" he ran up to both of you, he had disappeared about 14 minuets ago to go explore the market.

"what is that?" you smiled, looking at the container in his hand.

"there is a little store across the way, there was pets and stuff.....I bought a fishy" he grinned like a child, presenting the item in front of him.

"Taehyung how are we gonna bring a fish home?" you laughed at his cuteness, looking into the small water container to see a tiny fish swimming around happily.

"oh...I didnt think of that" he frowns, looking down, "I also bought a tank for him too"

"that you did" You nodded, looking at all of his bags.

"you guys are fish parents now" your mom laughed and patted his shoulder

You swallowed and nodded, yeahh fish parents

"we can discuss names at a later time, lets go show the lil dude the market" he spoke proudly, holding it up and talking to it as he passed cool stores, as if it could understand. It was kind of adorable.

You smiled happily as you all walked around a bit more, stopping at a cafe to get coffee and tea.

"iced with oatmilk please" you call out to your mom as she nods, getting into line while you and taehyung sit at a table outside.

"hes so cute" he laid his head in his palm, admiring the fish.

"we should name him spongebob"

Taehyung laughed, "but spongebob isnt a fish..."

"but hes yellow!"

"hmm...how about 해 (hae- sun in korean)

You smile and nod..."thats cute, actually"

"Then Hae it is"

You giggled and looked around, your eyes fell on a store a few blocks from where you were sitting- a pharmacy.

It was like a reminder of the possible issue at hand, everywhere you turned, the universe wouldnt let you rest.

The fish baby, the pharmacy, the pregnant woman who complimented you in the restaurant, It was haunting.

"hey, uhm, im gonna go run down the street really quick, i should be back before my mom comes, line is long"

He looked up at you "where you going?"

"just the pharmacy"

"can I come?"

You widened your eyes "no!...uhm i need....tampons." you nodded

"alright, do you have cash?"

You looked in your bag and had about $11

How much was a pregnancy test?

"here, just in case.." he smiled and gave you $10

"thank you honey" you kiss his head and take the money, assuring you will return asap.

You felt bad lying and taking his cash, but you needed to find out what was going on already, and so when you walked into the store with your head down, you made a straight line right to the feminine care isle.

You decided on buying tampons anyway, just so he wouldnt be suspicious.

"okay ...okay" you took a breath and walked over to the pregnancy area, which was beyond weird. You had passed by similar isles at other stores, looking out of pure curiosity, never believing you would be in this position of the buyer.

You scoffed to yourself, looking at all the tests, "which one do I buy? whats the difference?" you whispered to yourself, looking over each box, remembering you had to be quick. You decided to go with HCG test strips since they were the cheapest, you put them in your basket and ran to go pay before tae or your mom decided to come check on you.

The lady checking out gave you a knowing look, "how old are you?" she asked, eyeing the tampons and pregnancy tests.

You felt insulted, not because she assumed you were young-which you were- but because she was just asking and felt it was okay to do so.

"old enough, lets hurry this up"

You paid and grabbed the bag, making a sprint back to the coffee shop where your mom was just sitting down with taehyung- you made it.

"heres your drink" she smiled, "thanks mom"

you sat down next to taehyung, your heart was in your throat.

"I told her you ran to get concealer" he whispered in your ear, an attempt to save you some embarrassment

"oh, thanks" you grinned, brushing your foot against his.

A few hours later, the sun had started to set as you all returned home- your mother went to her home office to finish a quick work call as you and taehyung hung in the kitchen.

"im glad you can enjoy it now" he smiled, scooping another bite last nights cake onto a fork and feeding it to you

"yeah me too" you hummed, eating it before he kissed you quickly

"my moms in the other room" You scolded playfully, licking the frosting off the fork.

"so? we arent doing anything" he frowned, hugging you, "we cant do anything anyways-you got your period" he giggled

Oh yeah

"oh right" you laughed, taking another bite

His hands rested on your lower stomach, massaging gently. It was an act of cuteness but when you knew more than he did, it made you nervous.

"are you hurting?" he asked, kissing your shoulder

"no..." you blushed

maybe.....it wouldnt be the worst thing to parent with taehyung. He is so affectionate and caring, you know he would be the best partner and dad.....

You shook your head, trying to get rid of your current thoughts as you put the fork down.

You needed to end this now

"im...gonna shower ok?" you whispered, kissing his jaw

"want me to come?" he asked genuinely

"no no its okay, im gonna use my apple soap that you says burns your nose anyways" you giggle, walking away

"it does!!"

"mmhm"

You locked the bathroom door, placing the bag on the sink as you rummaged through.

"how the fuck does this work?" you whisper, looking over the box of the tests, "hm" you frowned and pulled one out, unwrapping it discreetly and going to use the toilet.

After you peed on the stick, your hand grew sweaty- it was becoming more real as the minuets when on.

While you waited, you took an actual shower to pass the time, fighting the urge to cry based on whatever result was on the stick just outside the shower.

You washed your hair and took your time before you wrapped up in a towel, shutting the water off.

it would be negative, right? you couldnt be pregnant, these types of things dont happen to you, these things happen to other but not you, you are probably worried about nothing...right?

Your mind raced as you sat near the sink, water still dripping from the towel.

"lets go y/n, whatever it is.....we are ok" you consoled yourself, rubbing your arm before moving to grab the test, your hands shaking furiously.

Suddenly everything youve ever done was questioned.

every choice youve ever made was doubted

Your confidence fell down the drain, and perhaps the years spent working and educating yourself are pointless.....maybe it wont matter after all....because theres two lines on the test.

You are pregnant.

You broke down sobbing, leaning against the wall as you slid to your knees, there wasnt anything to say, there wasnt anything to do. You were gonna have a baby and there was nothing you could do about it, nothing you say would erase the problem.

Your mother and taehyung sat downstairs, completely unaware of the anxiety attack you were dealing with just one floor above them.

"no no...no..." your hand fell to your stomach, gently caressing it.

You werent mad at the baby, you were mad at yourself. You suddenly felt responsible for the life growing inside you, but felt guilty over knowing you would never succeed at being a mom.

"im sorry.....im sorry im so sorry" you rubbed your stomach once more, whispering and apologizing in advance for the failure you would bring to this childs life. you havent even finished school, you graduate next year and now you are gonna have to drop out because paying for a newborn and tuition wont work, you will have to sell your car and old clothes

you will have to move somewhere cheaper, or grow small and confess to your mother that you cant get your shit together, and need to have a baby in her house for a few years until you are financially stable.

In your own mind, you were still a kid. You were a baby in the eyes of the world, and now everyone will shame you for what youve done, knowing you arent ready, but still expect you to carry on and raise another human being.

and taehyung.....hes gonna be happy....hes gonna love this, and you cant deal with it.

About an hour later, you had forced yourself to calm down as you made your way to his room, opening the door to see him laying on his bed.

"hi angel" he smiled, urging you to come over to him.

"hi" you spoke quietly, walking over to the bed and climbing in, hiding your face into his neck as you laid on him.

"everything alright?" he asked, rubbing your back.

tell him, tell him now before you back out, you wont ever do it if you dont tell him.

"we have to talk later" was all you mumbled, falling asleep next to him.

It blew your mind in a way, he had no clue about the fact he was a dad right now, yet here you were, falling apart by the seams. You wish you didnt know. You wish you were him, you wish this never happened in the first place.

Happy birthday to you, huh?

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee @bokieya

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woobly · 2 years

Text

MY FIRST AND LAST . . . 이주연 !

PAIRING. secretary! juyeon x gn! reader GENRE. fluff, ceo ish au, implied childhood friends to lovers WARNINGS. none, kinda corny but when was i never WORD COUNT. 1k words

𓂋˚˖ A/N. for @svhnflwr’s next steps collab! the prompt i chose is being their plus one at an event. pls do check out the works by the other writers in the collab! i tried to make this follow the theme but my dumb ass matched it w/ a conflicting genre so i hope it still works 😭

“AND SHE STEPPED ON THE BALL!”

“I did not!”

“Yes, you did!”

You chuckled as you stretched your cheeks into your nth smile of the night.

“They’re not going to stop bickering, are they,” you whispered as you tilted your body sideways, closer to Juyeon, who was seated to your right on the banquet table.

“No, I don’t think so, Ma’am,” he chuckled.

You turned your head slowly towards him, who was still watching your father’s friends tease each other. This wasn't the first time he addressed you formally in a place where he didn't have to. “Ju,”

Ripping his eyes off the other guests, he returned your gaze and took your hand from under the table. “Sorry. Old habits,” he smiled shyly, causing you to smile as well.

With your other arm, you straightened your back a little to place your elbow upright on the table and your chin on your open hand. “Old habits? Wouldn’t that refer to all those nicknames you called me back in high school?”

He pressed his lips into a thin line and squinted his eyes while looking upwards as if he was thinking. “Technically, we’re at work, so I can’t just do that,”

“But this is a Christmas party,”

“A formal Christmas party for your father’s company that he is also hosting. The first one, might I add,” he corrected you.

You give up, sighing and pouting as you lightly squeeze his hand. Feeling the lack of sleep begin to sink in your body, you yawn as you turn your head so that your left ear is on your palm.

“Did you not sleep well last night?” Juyeon asked, voice laced with concern, as he rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb.

“After you fell asleep first on FaceTime, I stayed up for maybe another hour, so yeah, I slept well. For about three hours,” When you hear him sigh, you lightly chuckle and give him a lazy smile.

“We can leave right now. Only the dancing is left anyway, and I’m sure your father won’t mind,”

“Everyone’s still here, and you already want to leave?” He squeezes your hand and looks at you with a face that says ‘you know what I mean’. You chuckle again, quickly gracing your eyes over his suit and tie that accentuates his shoulders well. “Not when I put effort into picking a tux and styling your hair, you’re not,”

“I think I’ve had this on long enough,”

“No, I wanna see you like this longer,” you pouted, making him chuckle and look away. Even if you two have been friends ever since who knows when, things like still make him flustered, especially because it’s you.

Yawning once again, you slightly turned your body towards Juyeon and placed your arm on the table so that you could put your head on it like a pillow. Watching you get more comfortable in your new position, Juyeon mirrors what you were doing and did the same.

As time ticked by, your eyes were finally beginning to droop even with the loud music blaring. However, before your fatigue could get the best of you, Juyeon started playing with your fingers. Eyes opening lazily, you chuckle once you see how focused he was on your numbing fingers.

“You know what, let’s dance,” you announced, slowly getting up from your seat.

“I thought you were tired,”

“Yeah, but when did we ever actually dance at a party like this? We didn’t even dance during prom ‘cause we were a bunch of awkward teenagers,”

Finally getting convinced, Juyeon stands up and drags you toward the dance floor, where majority of the attendees have gone.

“May I have this dance?” He placed his hand out in front of you, and you take it while miserably failing to hid your growing smile. He spins you around before placing his hands on your waist, to which you place yours over his shoulders.

From an outside perspective, you looked like you were in your own little bubble as if you were the only people present in the large hall. And in some ways, things did feel like that with Juyeon. Even if you were now both working adults, looking at him brings you back to when you used to walk each other to class, both in high school and college. Looking at him makes you feel like a child again, when the two of you would spend afternoons in the playground, free of all care and worry.

But at the same time, seeing him as he is now, especially in this moment with only the fairy lights shining on his features, will always be a new experience for you. He’s no longer just the guy who followed you around school like a cat or your secretary in your father’s company. He’s standing before you as the man who you’ve entrusted your entire heart to, which you perhaps didn’t even realize you did until only recently.

And of course, he feels the same about you. Even if he’s seen you in your most embarrassing times, he still thinks that you are the definition of beauty in human form, that when you open the dictionary and look for the word ‘beauty’, there would be a photo of you under it. Although he spent months on end debating whether he should keep his feelings to himself and simply watch you from a step away or just come out with it and hopefully be the person who holds your hand while you both grew older together, he’s extremely glad he took the leap and did it.

Because in this moment, despite the loud music and energetic crowd, you feel safe and at peace.

Or maybe it was just your exhaustion taking over your body once again as you leaned on him while swaying together slowly, not caring about the eyes looking your way.

Whatever the case, you knew that despite all this time, you’re more than happy to continue your intertwined paths full of new firsts together with Juyeon, your first and hopefully, your last as well.

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ghostofaboy · 6 months

Text

Kinktober 2023 - October 22nd

Day 22: True Monsters, Spiritual Possession, Sexual Exhaustion

Marcus Pike x Pero Tovar

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1139

Warnings: anal sex, two people in one body

@absurdthirst Kinktober List | Ghost of a Boy Masterlist

It had been a long and difficult case, and Marcus had a headache. The raid the day before had gone well, and now the scumbag at the heart of the organization was going away for a long time. But the team had found way more stolen art than any of them had ever imagined. And all that art had to be cataloged, which was apparently down to him and Agent Garner. Of course when Garner’s kid had gotten sick Marcus had told him to go home leaving him to finish up for the day.

Standing from his desk, Marcus winced as his head throbbed again. Taking a couple of steps, Marcus had to catch himself as his vision blurred. Gripping onto the edge of his desk, Marcus tried to focus on the 11th century urn in front of him. His vision swam as he crumpled to the floor and everything went back.

======

“You are allowed to love men?” A voice in his head woke Marcus and he jolted upright, still on his office floor.

How long had he been out? Marcus reached up and touched his head, checking for lumps or blood.

“It has not been long.” The voice came again and Marcus whipped his head around to look but there was no one else in the office.

“Hello?” Marcus called out as he stood on shaking legs. “Who’s there?”

“I am Pero Tovar.” The voice sounded like it was right next to him. “You can not see me. I can not see you. But I hear you. I see flashes of your thoughts. You have loved men?”

“What?” Marcus slumped down in a chair, confused. “I mean, yeah. I’ve had male and female partners. Why? Also why are you in my head?”

“I do not know.” Pero mused. “I have been with men but could not love them.”

Pero sounded sad, Marcus thought. But the more immediate concern was why there was a strange man now speaking in his head. Was he going crazy?

“Perhaps we are both crazy.” Pero chuckled, startling Marcus, who leapt out of his chair.

“Ok, that doesn’t make me feel better.” Marcus started to gather his things. It was best to figure this out at home, the last thing he need was someone overhearing him talking to himself.

======

A few hours later, Marcus and Pero had managed to figure out roughly how this thing worked. Somehow Pero’s spirit was in Marcus’ body and if Marcus had to guess it was something to do with that damn urn. Pero was also insisting he was speaking Spanish while Marcus still heard him in English, albeit with a strong Spanish accent. The most disturbing part however was when Marcus went to the bathroom and saw a strange man’s face looking at him from the mirror.

Pero was older than him, by the look of it. Rough and hardened from years of mercenary work, with a thick scar over one eye. When asked, Pero said he saw Marcus in the mirror.

They talked about their lives, with Pero asking a lot of questions about Marcus’ job and love life. Pero admired how Marcus protected beautiful things and was fascinated by the modern world’s attitudes to same sex relationships. After many hours, Marcus felt like Pero was an old friend, but neither man knew how to be free of the other.

“How many men?” Pero’s question came out of nowhere as Marcus was getting ready for bed.

“Two boyfriend.” Marcus finished getting undressed, throwing his boxers into the laundry hamper. “I’ve slept with five guys, not including the boyfriends, so seven all together. Not that many.”

“Not that many?” Pero sounded incredulous. “I had sex with two men my whole life. Only sex, it could never be any more than that.”

“I’m sorry.” Marcus slid into bed. “Who were they?”

“I do not want to speak of them.” Pero sounded as though he was lay next to Marcus. “You are very handsome, Marcus. To have so many lovers, yet you are not married.”

“I was.” Marcus felt goosebumps dance over his skin, making his cock stir under the covers. “It didn’t work out. She was unfaithful. Had a couple of other serious relationships since but… nothing… think I must…”

Marcus trailed off as what felt like lips grazed his own as unseen hands roamed his torso. Gentle touches over his nipples as the kiss became more insistent. A warm, heavy feeling settled over his body as his legs were nudged apart. Letting his eyes flutter closed, Marcus surrendered himself to the feeling as he let his ghostly lover take control.

“Pero?”

“Do you want me to stop?” Pero’s voice sounded husky as his hand worked Marcus’ cock.

“No.” Marcus spread his legs further, allowing his knees to be pushed up to bare his ass for Pero. “I just… I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I.” Pero’s lips moved down to Marcus’ nipples, making his skin tingle. “But something has pushed us together. We should take advantage of that.”

Marcus hummed in agreement as he felt Pero’s thick cock pushing into him, splitting him in two. It should have hurt with no prep or lube but Marcus felt nothing but pleasure. It coursed though his body, overtaking everything else and filling his head with static.

Heat flooded through him as Pero began to pound into him. Pero was hard, rough and frenzied, pushing Marcus up the bed with each thrust. Inside his head, Pero grunted and growled, pouring praise and compliments into Marcus’ very soul.

The sensations were almost overwhelming. His whole body trembled and his nerves felt as though they were on fire. Marcus ached all over with arousal, making him moan loudly and arch his back. His cock was throbbing, and Marcus knew he should have come by now. It had been over two years since he’d last been with anyone, and weeks since he’d touched himself. All this attention should have pushed him over the edge by now, but instead Marcus was held there, writhing on the bed as wave after wave crashed over him.

Pero’s passion was merging and fueling his own, and Marcus couldn’t tell who was feeling what anymore. Everything was blurring into one burning hot pool of ecstasy as Marcus saw flashes of battles, long horse treks across unknown countries and strange creatures with too many eyes.

Marcus was lost with a sea of sweaty desire as Pero's cock filled him. His head felt foggy and he knew he should fight this, but all he could feel was Pero and the aching need to come. As his knees were pushed further up, almost to his shoulders, Marcus gripped the sheets but felt nothing. As he and Pero floated away, Marcus could swear he saw a white light in the corner of his bedroom.

#kinktober #kinktober 2023 #marcus pike #pero tovar #marcus pike x pero tovar #pero tovar x marcus pike

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dukesmebby · 1 year

Text

summer child (s.h)

a/n: this has been the only thing on my brain for the last two weeks<3 this is based off of the song summer child by Conan Gray so please give that a listen if you'd like! I just couldnt stop thinking about this song is made for him. HUGE thanks to @translatemunson for being the damn reason this got done. also thanks to @munsonswife for helping convince me to post<3

warnings: i dont think there should be any but lmk! just steve being kinda in his feels tbh

You see all the flowers in the weeds

You're scared of the dark when you sleep

You cover up your arms with your sleeves

Even in hundred-degree heat

Your father was awfully mean

Steve doesn’t always trust easily, you know that, but he hasn't stopped trying to trust the people he meets these days. Always trying to see the good as a way to give him hope. You know the man standing across from you is not proud of how he has always treated people and that bothers him. You also know he would fight tooth and nail or even die for you and any of his friends in a heartbeat. You wish he knew you'd do the same thing for him. You know that he can hardly sleep unless he has his lamp on and the windows closed and curtains drawn. You don't even remember the last time he slept for more than three hours in a night. You also know from your years spent together he wouldn't dare try sleeping like that when his father is home. He doesn't usually sleep most of the time when his parents actually are home. To him the house doesn't feel like home unless Robin or the kids are there with him. What you don't know is that he doesn’t ever feel at home anywhere without you.

Your favorite color is green

It reminds you of the summer you turned three

Runnin' through sprinklers on your street

And you laugh and you dance in the wind

And you sway and you hug and you kiss

He often thought about when he was a kid, spending summers with his grandparents while his parents were off on some business trip. A time when he was allowed to run around and have fun and honestly just be a kid. No stuffy cocktail parties that he had to dress up for and act like he wasn't a ten year old boy. A time when his Grandpa would practically have to drag him inside after a full day of playing in the sprinklers with you. The summer breeze blowing through the trees the two of you would climb, and inevitably you would fall out of. After he made sure you were alright and kissed your scraped up knees better the two of you decided no more climbing trees, at least not for you. He thought about how when you guys were older you would sneak out to Lovers’ Lake just to get away from it all together. After Vecna, he didn't think he would ever feel that happy again. He stopped believing that he might get to feel like that.

But there's darkness behind those eyes

Even when you smile

Oh, summer child

You don't have to act like all you feel is mild

You don't really love the sun, it drives you wild

You're lyin', summer child

You know that Steve doesn't like to let people see that side of him anymore, his softer side coming out in bits only you and the gang would see. When he would smile it never went all the way to his honey brown eyes. He wishes he could be like that all of the time but he gets so tired of pretending in front of everyone. You're just grateful to see him happy in the small flashes that you do. When you get to see the flash of excitement spark all the way up to his sweet doe eyes. You know he is still the same man behind all of the walls he has built, you just wish he knew that if he wasn’t he was allowed to be the new version of himself around you. You wish he knew it was safe to be vulnerable like that with you no matter what. You hope he knows he can be angry that his childhood was stolen from him. You hope he knows he is allowed to be sad that his parents were never around. You hope he knows he is allowed to be loved by you, he deserves it even.

Aren't you way too busy

Taking care of everybody

To take care of yourself?

When the sun goes missing

Aren't the flowers just as pretty?

Aren't the oceans just as deep?

The trees as green?

He needs to take a break, you know it and he knows you know it. He has been running himself ragged trying to do it all. He's been picking up more shifts to distract himself while also agreeing to take robin to and school and helping Hop get his place put back together. He feels so much guiltier about trying to be Superman when he realizes he hadn't called you all week, and it was already Thursday. You don't even remember the last time he slept for more than three hours in a night. You know Steve has been trying to distract himself lately and frankly you'd had a lot of coursework to catch up on so you don’t mind that he hadn't called. That doesn't mean it didn’t have you worried. You don't remember the last time you saw him eat a real meal which just wouldn't do for you. You know he doesn't stop long enough to eat, you are usually the only person that can get him to hit pause and actually take care of himself. You need him to understand that we all love him even if he wasn't the hero everyday.

And as for me

I'll watch you weep

Oh, summer child

You don't have to act like all you feel is mild

You don't really love the sun, it drives you wild

You're lyin', summer child

Steve notices you acting a little bit different around him. He notices the fact that you start bringing him lunches on his breaks so that he's actually eating something. He notices when you offer to pick up robin or the kids so that he doesn't have to. He notices you hanging onto his arm for longer than usual on date night Sunday. He also starts to notice that when you're over hanging out with him and he falls asleep before you leave he doesnt wake up in a dark room. He wakes up with his lamp on and the curtains closed. It makes his heart ache and his stomach churn. He is starting to feel alot like a kid again, because of you.

#stevie baby<3 #i feel like this song is so steve coded and i couldn’t not write the similarities you know?#summer child #conan gray #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington x you #steve harrington thoughts #stranger things #kk..writes?

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nyxreads · 2 years

Note

I love your posts about Elain but we ship her with different guy. I think Az do not only lusts for her but it's a redflg that he gave the necklace to another woman something I doubt Lucien would do. Plus, Az and Elain gives a vibe that they are just friends or siblings. I'm not forcing you to like my ship I just think it's being hypocritical of you to stan her but ship her with a lustful guy and who doesn't trust her.

Also, I'd like to say that Az giving the necklace to Gwyn is a foreshadowing of them being endgame.

This is just my opinion and observation. I don't need any fight so if you're going to answer please be respectful. That's all

Ok, streeeetch. I promised before I would never answer anon from other side again, but well.

Okay anon, well, first thank you for liking my posts about Elain. And I really don't care if we ship her with different guy as long as we both know Elain's worth and capabilities.

Second, okay, honestly this is so exhausting. Like idk how many Elriels already explained this one but do you understand what you said "lusting over Elain" and then them being "friends or siblings". I'm gonna explain these two opposite claims tho, (but pls next time try to stick with one claim to debunk Elriel and not always contradicting your own claim)

"Azriel only lust for Elain" first, the guy didn't look at Elain for the very first time and wanted to have her right there and then. No, their relationship gradually moves from friends to lovers (tho not exactly lovers atm). Here's a canon build up between these two. And I'd like you to also read this line from the Bonus Chapter:

So he slept only when his body gave out, and even then only for a few hours.

This is not a guy who only "lusts" after Elain. The man cannot sleep and only when his body gave out, he's clearly suffering. In pain. And it's so obvious why. He said it to Rhysand:

“What if the Cauldron was wrong?”

He cannot sleep, knowing that the girl he loves is mated to another male. If this still sounds only lusts for you, let me clear that Azriel can have any woman he want. He can fuck any woman he want, but no, he wants Elain because he feels more than lust.

And if it's still not enough for you, after smelling Elain's arousal I don't think Az would wait for Elain's permission for him to kiss her if he only feels lust:

Offer and permission. He nearly groaned with relief and need as he lowered his head toward hers.

Not only that, you all always fail to see the build up between them before this sexual tension. Like Azriel offering a smile of comfort, Azriel saving Elain, Azriel showing Elan the garden, Azriel carrying her, Azriel sprawled in the chaise with Elain, Azriel throwing his head laughing at Elain's gesture, Azriel being protective of her in a very normal and rational way and so on and on. They formed a good friendship before this happened :

Until his palm lay flat against her neck. It had never gone this far. They’d exchanged looks, the occasional brush of their fingers, but never this. Never blatant, unrestricted touching. Wrong—it was so wrong. He didn’t care.

So tell me, if this is not a good build up.

Next, "he doesn't trust her" please also remember this scene where Az gave her the TT, if it's not trust then idk. And, again and again, idk what y'all guys are reading but this is a romance fantasy series, and sjm loves her MMC to be protective not in a toxic way, no. Az was afraid of what will happen to Elain because HE CARES. He cares for her. And any man who cares for his girl would never want to expose his girl willingly to darkness.

Next, Elain and Az gives a "just friends/siblings" vibe HAHA, sure. If that's what you wanted to believe. But I dont think this is how friends or siblings act:

Her arousal drifted up to him, and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the sweet scent. He’d beg on his knees for a chance to taste it. But Azriel just stroked her neck again.

And all the times Feyre noticed how good they would be together and Nesta seeing the charged glance between them.

Next, "Az giving the necklace to another woman is a redflag." But what's redflag for me is giving a woman a secondhand gift. Lmao. At least, Az bought the necklace thinking of Elain.

And then, the damn necklace "given" to Gwyn, I tried my best to keep quiet at this never ending argument about this thing but

He found Elain’s necklace amid the pile. He pocketed it. //

That necklace, was always meant for Elain. Azriel bought that necklace for Elain, thinking of Elain and even calling it Elain's necklace. Gwyn is a second choice. The necklace is a secondhand gift for her. So I'm sorry if I prefer a guy who will first think of my girl stan while buying a gift than shipping a girl with a guy who gives her a secondhand gift.

“Look, I . . .” Az searched for the words, his voice becoming quiet. “If there’s another priestess here who might appreciate it, give it to them. But I’m not taking that necklace with me when I leave.”

See here, the guy is desperate to get rid of that necklace. Because it reminds him of his pain, and y'all really here thinking the secondhand gift is a sweet gesture. Imagine, do you think Az could look at Gwyn wearing the necklace he bought for another girl? Wouldn't it remind him of his pain? If Az look at the necklace he'd not be reminded of Gwyn, he'd be reminded of him and Elain's almost kiss and what happened after.

The necklace debate and saying it's showing Gw*n and Az as endgame is, forgive my word, dumb. How are y'all fighting tooth and nails with every Elriel over a necklace that wasn't first meant for Gw/n?

If we are gonna talk about foreshadowing, then I'm afraid Elriel won at that one. Sjm, as an author, would never waste four books of build up only to switch her couples because y'all are being too loud about a necklace that not only meant for Elain but also symbolizes her.

Lastly, I hope my answer is respectful enough for you anon.

#anon asks #pro elriel #elriel

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awooga-llama · 2 years

Text

🍄

Georgenotfound x Male! Reader

I was on something when writing this so I doubt it will make a lot of sense, also very angsty. I'm not gonna write any triggers, read at your own risk :p

Nobody had seen George since Dream was taken to Pandora's box. (Y/N) was panicking because George was his world but so was Dream. Sapnap wasn't any help, the blaze hybrid wanted nothing to do with anything involving Dream, which included finding George and talking to the poor worried boy. As the only one awake during the night, (Y/N) couldn't get much sleep either and the fact that he hadn't slept for the past couple weeks had been difficult. The boy groaned as he sat up on his bed, rubbing at his eyes in an effort to force himself to go to sleep. But he couldn't. He knew it would be pointless to try and go to sleep so instead he pulled his tablet off the bedside table and began texting.

---

To: Punz

Sapnap isn't talking to me :( I'm worried about George

From: Punz

I wish I could reassure you... but honestly I don't even know what is going on with him...

---

(Y/N) sighed a little before replying

---

To: Punz

He hasn't really talked to anyone since the arrest..

From: Punz

don't worry too much about him. He knows how to handle himself, you need to worry more about you and ur feeling

To: Punz

Thanks man... I appreciate your support, even tho I know i can't worry about me til my boy comes home :(

From: Punz

You should try! You can always come to me for help when you need it <3

---

One day (Y/N) had both of his boyfriends home, dancing to disc eleven and cleaning the house and the next day he sits on the couch staring at the door waiting for one of his lovers to come back knowing the other one won't ever get too. The boy laid the tablet back on the bedside table, laid down in bed with the comforters pulled all the way up, and buried himself into George's pillow breathing in the mixed smell of the his Brit and Dream. (Y/N) closed his eyes letting the scent comfort him as he drifted away from reality until there was a quiet knock at the door. He jumped out of bed running to open it, not caring if anyone seen him in his pajamas. George stood in front of him looking down at the ground covered in dirt and debris. He had mud and grass stains on his jeans and was missing his signature smile on his lips. His white clout goggles were missing, revealing his tired brown eyes. He didn't say anything, just turned around heading to the bathroom to shower.

The first thing George did when he got there was take off his shirt leaving behind some of his bruises. He winced in pain from each step but tried not to make a sound as he walked through the hallway to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom the brunette immediately locked the door behind him and let the tears fall freely. Tears that he held inside for so long finally came spilling forth, mixing with the sweat on his forehead and falling into his sink and running down his face.

(Y/N) stayed behind in the bedroom. He had to restrain himself from fussing and cuddling George but he knew that his partner needed space. It took George nearly two hours to clean up his wounds, the whole time he cried silently into the bathroom floor. He hated himself for hurting those boys, he hated himself for letting Dream, his own best friend, his lover, manipulate him and cause so much harm and chaos. He just wanted to sleep for the rest of his life and never wake up again. George left the bathroom and headed back towards the bedroom where (Y/N) waited, his heart breaking in half every second he saw his lover sitting on the edge of their bed. George sat down, taking (Y/N)'s hand in his own.

"(Y/N), I-" he paused. No words could describe how he felt or how sorry he was but he knew it was true. He loved (Y/N) and they were going to get through this together, George squeezed his lover's hand and leaned forward kissing the palm of (Y/N)'s hand. Then he rested his head on (Y/N)'s shoulder. They sat like that for another hour, (Y/N) stroking George's hair as the other gently rocked him side to side and muttered soft apologies. Finally, at around midnight George looked up at (Y/N).

"I love you," he said, "and we will fix this. We'll fix everything Dream did and create peace in the land, every last person's face will have a smile on it when we're done." His boyfriend just gave him a tight-lipped smile and removed his hands from the other boys, wrapping them around his lover. The two of them layed down on the bed and listened to each other breath. It had been weeks since either of them slept good. Maybe that would finally change tonight. George still had to tell (Y/N) where he has been, that could be handled tomorrow though.

Tonight he simply enjoyed the feel of (Y/N)'s body pressed against his own. After a while, as their breathing slowed down and they eventually fell asleep, the two boys dreamed of happier times, better memories. And with the morning light peeking around the curtains they slowly drifted away together.

---

(Y/N) woke with a start when someone touched his shoulder lightly. He quickly snapped his head toward whoever it was then relaxed when it was just George who was smiling at him with a gentle expression. He stretched and pulled the blankets tightly around himself and burying his nose in them hiding a smile and the blush on his cheeks. George quietly laughed at his boyfriend and moved to wrap his arms around the cocoon of blankets that surrounded his lover. He buried his face in his hair and pressed kisses into the crown of his head and (Y/N) hummed contently.

They stayed in that position for awhile until George reluctantly pulled away. (Y/N) opened his sleepy eyes and frowned slightly, seeing that his boyfriend wasn't wearing his glasses. The boy reached out and grabbed George by the chin pulling him closer so he could kiss him softly.

(Y/N) pulled away, keeping hold of George's face as his mind focused.

"Warn me next time? Don't just run off and leave me hanging." He scolded. George chuckled and nodded his head before leaning in for another kiss. When the pair separated, George smiled once again.

"You know I would never just leave you hanging." He replied sweetly. (Y/N) sighed and smiled before sitting up.

"Come on. Let's go eat breakfast." he yawned before standing up and stretching his arms over his head, popping a few bones in his spine and shoulders. George smiled fondly and followed after his boyfriend as they made their way downstairs and poured themselves a bowl of cereal. They ate quietly enjoying each others company for the time being and the peaceful atmosphere. They finished and cleaned up, (Y/N) grabbed the dishes and rinsed them off and set them into a cupboard along with the cups he had used the night before, then walked back upstairs. George was lying in bed playing Tetris on the old gaming system Dream and him had bought a few years ago, he didn't have much of a reason to play and besides, he didn't enjoy spending money on something he wouldn't use but had anyways. He waited to see if (Y/N) was going to come in but hus footsteps walked pasted the bedroom door quickly. It sounded like he went to his office, probably to look at bills and mail. It was silent again for a bit before (Y/N) came back and sat down beside George who had stopped playing.

The (y/s/c)ed boy leaned into the older boy and placed his head on his lap. George chuckled at the sight and ran a hand through the boy's hair as the two stared at the game. George had stopped playing the game and the two of them just basked in each other's company.

They two of them wished they could just hide in their bedroom all day but knew they couldn't. They had to face the people outside of their home, see how everyone's doing after the chaos that happened weeks ago. (Y/n) and George decided to spend more time in front of the mirror trying to cover up George's bruises but it only worked for 2 hours. George wouldn't stop wiggling amd talking. Both boys were exhausted from the constant movement and physical exertion from trying to conceal the marks. They were finally ready to face the town.

---

As soon as the two stepped foot outside, they spotted the crowd forming in the street. Some of the crowd started yelling as soon as they recognized the boys. (Y/N) could hear the words the people were yelling, all of them negative. "traitors!" One yelled

"Gay bastards!" Another hollered while throwing random items, nearly hitting George.

"Go to hell!" There were worded ones being said but (Y/N) tried to block it out. George kept his eyes fixed on the ground so as not to cause any trouble and walked to stand beside a tree a bit further from the crowd without saying a word. (Y/N) didn't look at everyone but he could hear their shouting and sneers. He wanted to scream back at the crowd, to give them a piece of his mind but that would just be what Dream would've done. He was different. The boy scanned the mob of people and his eyes connected with a familiar pair of brown ones. Sapnap's. His own childhood best friend stands in the raging group of haters and he doesn't even try to stop it? Tears fell from the boy's eyes like rapid waterfalls. How could their ex lover, creator of the smp, villain of the land cause so much damage to so many lives including the ones he supposedly loved?

It hurt so much. But the anger built up inside of (Y/N) and it began pouring down onto everyone below. He couldn't stop himself, he knew he shouldn't give into inhumane habits, but this was all too much. He glared at them and screamed at them, the words pouring out of his mouth like venom that flowed with ease. George noticed (Y/N) storming off into the mob and turned to face the crowd but he had no time before a punch landed in his face knocking him to the ground. (Y/N) seen when the man grabbed George by the shirt collar and lifted him up. Just as he was about to hit him square across the jaw the sound of the crack echoed through the air and the man collapsed onto his knees in pain holding his right eye closed as blood trickled down his cheek. The stranger slowly looked to his right and saw (Y/N) standing there with a bloody fist clenched in front of him. In all honestly it should have scared him but somehow it didn't. He was too angry to be afraid. All he could think of was how he was going to make sure that his George never gets harmed by anyone ever again. He knew this same group of people is who hurt George when the brunette went missing. Before he knew it George's hand reached out and grabbed (Y/N)'s wrist, his other hand moving to grab the small of the other boy's waist. (Y/N) felt a strange pressure on his stomach and when he looked down he saw that the man was grabbing the waistband of his jeans.

Before his boyfriemd could say anything (Y/N) punched the random man hard enough to send him backwards falling to the ground, clutching his gut. (Y/N) turned around and rushed back to George who had gotten up and now held his broken hand protectively against his chest. (Y/N) crouched down in front of his boyfriend and gently picked him up bridal style.

The two ran into the forest, angry mob chasing them from behind. They were losing them but not quite fast enough. The trees flew by but after half a mile the boy's legs got tired. Him and his lover tumbled to the ground, he could hear the footsteps aproaching fast so (Y/N) did the last thing he could think of. He prayed.

"Dear whatever being is up there beyond. Please don't let any harm come to my boyfriend George, he doesn't deserve any of this, it was all our other boyfriend, Dreams fault. He was the one who became power hungry and wouldn't leave those two boys alone. I'm begging you, George, he's not in the condition to fight. Please protect him, take my life if it means saving his." (Y/N) dropped his head down tears falling, amd as the first one hit the ground the air sparked with static. Particles began floating around them, mainly around George a faint voice whispered over and over again, eternal sleep, eternal sleep. The boy could hear his lover's soft calm breathing, a small quiet laugh left his lips. The mob bursted through the trees and headed straight towards him. George stayed asleep peacefully, the crowd ignored him as if he wasn't there at all. He pulled out his communicator and sent one last thing to Punz.

---

To Punz

Forgive me please, I had to save him. Take care of George for me, never let Dream near him if he gets out. Thanks for being there for me earlier dude, I'll never forget you <3

---

The last thing (Y/N) saw before getting inpaled by Tommy's pitchfork was his favourite boy's sleeping face, at least he could sleep happily now. Forever.

---

Sapnap witnessed the death of his friend. He was the only one to stick around after he was murdered, spat on, stepped on. It was brutal. The dark haired man saw George dozed off, unharmed with a strange marking on his wrist, it appeared to be an XD. He could care less though. His focus had been turned away from the scene in order to keep it together but now it wasn't working anymore. Everything seemed blurry and dull, he didn't feel sad or angry, he felt numb. Like he was nothing more than a shell of his former self, the person who was supposed to help him keep going. The man dug a shallow grave and buried his dead friend in it. As soon as he was covered mushrooms with red tops and white spots began to sprout all over the too of it. They were his and George's favourites. This was the end of one life and the beginning to a new side of someone else.

#georgenotfound #dsmp fanfic #oneshot #dsmp #dsmp gnf #georgenotfound x reader #gnf x reader #gnf x male reader #sadbeautifultragic #gnf x you #gnf x y/n

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returntosaturn271995 · 8 months

Text

Saturday, September 9th: Aesthetic instead of anesthetic

Not sure if it was the tiny bite of an edible I took last night or the pseudo red wine herbs I drank or just the insane amount of East Coast hours I've been working: but I slept for 13 hours last night.

I woke up half past noon: disoriented and with a mild headache that I medicated with my birth control, morning coffee, and effexor. An ode to modern womanhood. Maddy and Eric FaceTimed me from Portland eating oysters and encouraging me to visit for Halloween. Maddy is sure she's going to marry her new boyfriend Colin. Meanwhile, I'm avoiding seeing my ex-boyfriend at Maverick's.

He's so tall and pale, I'm afraid that if I bump into Mitch I'll mistake him for the Babadook.

So instead I took my sober ass in a very cute outfit (Floral orange, green, and cream colored 70's inspired jeans, white halter top, bolo tie w/ moonstone, white leather sandals, brown satchel) to the park to start reading my latest book. I love a hardcover and I'm about one chapter into "The Rachel Incident" by Caroline O'Donahuge.

"A brilliantly funny novel about friends, lovers, Ireland in chaos, and a young woman desperately trying to manage all three"

I sat next to two girls around my age and their pug was named after the Baby Yoda character from the Mandalorian. The weather was perfect in the shade of the massive tree at the top of Kate Sessions Hill. Warm and breezy wind stroked the side of my face as I leaned back and stared upward at the tree branches through my amber-tinted sunglasses. The sun winked at me from behind the leaves and I listened to the Poetry Pharmacy. It counted as today's meditation. (I actually hoped the narrator would be British and sure enough the introduction was done by William Sieghart talking about going to boarding school at 8. Flawless. No notes.)

"Sometimes we refuse to forgive another so as to postpone the moment when they forgive us and we admit to having been wrong."

I thought about Morgan again. Her inability to say sorry. The fragility of some people that they have to be right, at the expense of peace and relationships. It's a weird emotional anniversary to keep remembering when I haven't thought of it in months. Even weirder that I'm more and more on my own side lately.

That was fucked up. No, I didn't have to put up with any of it. Yes, I am better off. I don't want to cling to that thought cycle though. No good can come from relitigating a closed case for a non-existent jury.

My feelings are valid. No one else needs to validate them for me.

Afterward, I headed home (stopped to see that boxer who always presses his nose to the window when I walk by) and whipped upa spicy pork meatball & wonton noodle stir-fry with bok choy & chili crisp. It's fucking great.

I want to look into passport renewal for Amsterdam, stretch out my calves, and maybe organize my closet a little. That's my sexy/non-chaotic Saturday in a nutshell.

Aesthetic instead of anesthetic.

Also, Olivia Rodrigo's new album came out!

"Driving at night, you can only see as far as your headlights. But you can make the whole trip that way."

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sukirichi · 3 years

Text

reckless [01.]

With a lackadaisical playboy as your boss, being reckless wasn’t an option. But on the one time you let loose and made mistakes, your life is shattered, and now you’re playing house with your insufferable boss who is the father of your baby.

✘ cw. explicit smut, accidental pregnancy, playboy! gojo, slight angst

✘ note. dedicated to wifey @7tsumurai who also made the banner and always supports me and showers me with love aaaa i love you baby <3 also this fic is mostly romance and fluff so i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it! thank you to @chosonore for pr-ing UWU. and we get like...10-15 chapters of this?!

one ✘ two ✘ three

You shouldn’t be doing this.

The night was young; streaks of gold flashing with the shimmering jewellery collared on your neck, the romantic humming of the violins pairing perfectly with the champagne that fizzed in your hand. It was supposed to be another day at work where you accompanied your boss to one of his events, considering the Casanova refused to bring his girlfriends in fear they might get the wrong idea he liked them outside the bed. It should be just another day at work; you’ve accompanied him hundreds of times before. Today wasn’t any different.

And yet it was.

You blamed it on the alcohol. On the slow dancing. On the fact he hadn’t stopped complimenting you all night and you’d been so stressed, the amount of planning and sleepless nights sacrificed in exchange of preparing for this event made you grab for three more flutes, the touch of your undeniable attractive boss permanent on your waist.

Satoru was equally aggravated. You’d worked him long enough to recognize even the smallest of cues, and the fact you’d spend nearly every hour of the day working with him for weeks straight in the office let you know he needed to let off some steam.

And what better way to relieve both of your tensions if not to give in to the cloud of lust?

The sultry gazes, the clashing perfumes between rose and musk, and the alcohol – the fucking alcohol – that gave way to you succumbing to your desire just this once.

There were no more thoughts – or if there were, they were muddled – as you kissed him back just as passionately, forgetting the fact his stylist spent an hour gelling his hair back to perfection as your eager fingers traced over his scalp. How you ended up in the back of limousine was beyond you, and neither was it your biggest concern when Satoru insisted you kept your heels on; his large hands caressing all the way from the ankle pressed beside his waist up to your waist.

You felt his daft fingers move the lacy thong you wore especially for tonight (not because you expected something, but the boost in confidence felt necessary) before he slides inside almost too easily.

Both your gasps and moans are swallowed in the stuffy compartment, windows fogged saved for the handprint you’d left when he hit a sensitive spot. He was moaning in your neck, skin slippery and sweaty as you slid from one another, seemingly never staying from one place as your hands treaded through his hair down to rake your nails on his back; his touch angry on your hips before his thumb found home in your clit.

As much as you hated him, hated his reputation, you couldn’t deny he really earned his title for being an absolute god in sex. You were no virgin, but you’d never felt this good, never felt this alive as bruises began to form in your skin and his lips hungrily sought out yours.

“S-Sir...”

“Satoru,” he corrected through your lips, the kiss barely even one when you were too busy moaning left and right. Satoru hitched your leg up to fold it right beside your waist, allowing him to explore deeper territories that not even you could mark.

His stare on you is perverted; openly wanton as he lets his empyrean gaze snake down to where your bodies connected. It was embarrassing to be this spread wide open for him, though it didn’t matter much, not when you clutched onto his bicep for dear life and panted breathlessly. He was kissing you everywhere – smearing your lipstick all over your lips and his, a stain of red on his hard, white collar and love bites marked deep into your collarbones and under your breasts. You tightened around him once he changed his rhythm into a more sensual one; the quick pace replaced with him pulling out slowly – inch by delicious inch until you felt empty with each growing second – before slamming back inside with fervidity that he never quite possessed behind his desk.

He groaned at your walls clenching down on him, his hips stuttering in the process. “Call me Satoru.”

“Satoru,” you moaned out, and his next sounds were pained. Pained because you sounded too gorgeous, felt too good, and with you following his hips thrust by thrust, neither of you would last any longer. Not even as you shake your head, lips swollen as you remind him, “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“We shouldn’t,” he agreed with a curled lip, sweat beading from the streaks of his white hair. “But I want you – god, you’re so beautiful tonight. Need to fuck you good—”

Gojo Satoru, one of the most eligible bachelors in the entire South East Asia and ranked as the second richest man in his early twenties, was a man of his word despite his reputation. Just as he was praised and fawned over for his beauty, charisma, and power, he was equally hated for breaking the hearts of women and treating his past ‘lovers’ like they were objects. The news were so confident of it; that he fooled them, played around with them, but behind the scenes, you knew Satoru wouldn’t do such a thing – from the first time he laid his eyes on someone, he made it extremely clear they were not to be attached. Everything with him was physical and sensual – anything beyond that would simply be out of character.

You weren’t surprised that he really did keep his word and fuck you good, because you couldn’t feel your legs the next morning and even though it had been hours, you still very much felt the shape of him carve through you.

The bastard wouldn’t stop laughing, of course, snickering under his breath every now and then each time he saw you grimace from doing simple things such as standing up and giving him the files he asked for. Perhaps it was because your dislike for him was apparent that Satoru quickly went back to fooling around, pretending you didn’t exist and only approaching you when need be. There were still moments you had to clean his mess up for him; taking his drunken phone calls at 3am because he got wasted in a bar, or doing the same for his current sex buddy who he didn’t want to stay in his home.

He was terrible, terribly awful that you despised this part of him.

You were only grateful enough that neither of you brought that night up ever again, for no matter how immensely hellish of an experience it had been, it was also something you’d really rather not be reminded of.

But now, there was no more running away from it. The truth stared at you blatantly in the form of two white lines that had appeared four times already from previous tests.

You were pregnant.

The world had never been that heavy on you. You had a rough upbringing, but it was a household filled with love and patience that it was innate in your nature to keep strong, be levelled, continue moving forward even during the times it felt like everyone and everything was going against you. You’d been through so much worse and you can do this, but you still couldn’t stop the tears that pushed from your eyes, your heart shattering the same time you dropped the stick.

“No, we won’t cry, it’s okay. I can handle this – I’m strong,” you repeated to yourself like a mantra, taking deep breaths to stabilize yourself. Clearly, this was unexpected, but you wanted to do your best, had to do your best. You didn’t have time to lose your composure, so you quickly fished your phone out your purse to dial the person you trusted the most.

“Rei...?”

Your best friend picked up on the second dial. “Sweetheart, where have you been?! I’ve been calling you for like hours now and you’re not picking up, I heard you called in sick for work and you never do that even when you’re about to pass out!” Some shuffling could be heard from the background before she spoke again, her tone a lot more gentle in response to your muted sniffles. “Is there something going on? Do you need me to drop by there right now? Tell me what you need; I’ll be there right away.”

“No, no, Rei, it’s fine, I just...”

“Sweetie,” she sighed, “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

You nodded even though she couldn’t see it. Rei had been there for you in everything, starting from when you newly arrived in the city; fresh-eyed and hopeful for new opportunities. She’d been there when you first complained your boss was a creepy flirt, all the way until you’d made peace with said boss and remained firm in your boundaries. But those boundaries had clearly been crossed – no, rather, you erased those boundaries. You were drunk enough to give in to the need to be touched, but sober enough to consent to everything that happened. You couldn’t place this all on him.

“I’m pregnant,” you said eventually, voice barely above a whisper as you added, “And Satoru’s the father.”

Rei stopped munching on her – you assume – bagel.

“Satoru? Gojo Satoru, your boss, bonafide casanova, the face on billboards and one of the most “eligible” bachelors in the country, billionaire Gojo Satoru?” she let out in one breath, the image of her flipping her hand out in the air in disbelief as clear as day. “Am I really hearing this right? I’m not going crazy, am I?”

You sighed.

“We were drunk. I slept with him.”

“Did that bastard force himself on you?”

“No, gosh, never,” you defended with widened eyes, sitting back down on the toilet with the lid now closed. You couldn’t look at the tests even if you dared yourself to, the plastic bag concealed in the garbage or else you’d feel sick all over again. “I-I wanted it too...we just got carried away and the night was just...I don’t know. I don’t know what came over me and why I did that, but there’s no point in fretting about it because I’m carrying his baby now.”

“Well,” she started unsurely, “What are you going to do?”

“I’m keeping it. There’s no way I would even consider abortion.”

“But what about him?”

The back of your head throbbed in pain. Just thinking about his stupidly handsome face made you want to throw up once more. “I don’t really want to tell him, but he has a right to know that he’s going to be a father.”

“Will he even take responsibility for it?”

You swallowed nervously, nibbling on your thumbnails before snatching your hand away. Composure was something you didn’t struggle with; you were the more reliable one in the duo of you and Satoru, but you had a bad habit of picking on your nails whenever you were anxious. Had it not been for Satoru flicking your nails away from your mouth each time you dazed out a little bit, you would’ve never gotten rid of the habit, but it all came crashing back down on you in an instant.

A heavy knot formed in your belly.

“Most likely not, I know how he’s like. He loves his single life so much that he’d never allow to be tied down like this. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he tells me he doesn’t want it.”

“What an asshole!”

“Yeah, he is, but I don’t need him in my life,” you reinstated, finally feeling more confident the longer you talked to Rei. She was your instant hype machine in more ways than one; her presence itself gave you the reassurance you could handle everything your way. With hope blooming in your chest, you picked yourself of the toilet and wiped away your tears. You could do this – you can handle this. Not just for you, but this baby growing in you as well.

“In our life. I’m more than capable of taking care of the baby myself,” you told her, gaze hard and determined as your sunken reflection stared back at you in the mirror. Sighing, you shook your head and pictured Satoru’s face, already picturing a thousand ways this could go wrong. Only one way to find out.

“I have to go now. He needs to hear about this and then I’ll resign. Probably move back home – anywhere that’s away from him.”

“Doesn’t the baby deserve to meet their dad?”

“Their dad doesn’t even want to be one,” you muttered bitterly and threw your sweater back on, refusing to kick yourself around any harder. Now wasn’t the time to be illogical; you were now a mother and had to be responsible now more than ever. But first, you needed some well-deserved rest after endless agonizing of missing your period, along with the baby drop that until now, had shook you to your core. “I’ll call you back, Rei. I’m very tired.”

“You let me know if you need anything, okay?” Humming in response, you ended the call and crawled back to bed.

It wasn’t that you felt lonely, but you didn’t feel particularly belonging anywhere. You were far from home in a city that felt like the future, and each day you come home, it was mostly just a place to rest before you went back to work the next day. It was a dull, empty routine that you’d gotten used to, but never had it sunk deep into you that you did felt completely hollow.

But not anymore.

You were with your baby now, and as much as it scared you shitless to be a mother with zero preparation and knowledge, you were confident things were going to be okay.

Wrapping an arm around your belly, you had the best sleep you’d had in years.

You’d just have to worry about tomorrow. Hopefully, and you quite prayed harder than you ever did before, Satoru would let you go and keep things less complicated than it already was.

“No,” Satoru shook his head, his words dropping like a heavy boulder in the middle of nowhere. You stood in front of him shock still, hands wrung solid beneath your belly. Satoru merely shook his head, brushing back his gelled hair with a dry laugh. “No, what are you even thinking? You’re not resigning.”

You pursed your lips. “I wasn’t really asking for permission, Sir.”

Truth be told, you expected this sort of reaction from him. It may be true that you and Satoru never got along in personal levels since he was too crass and you much stiff, but it couldn’t be denied you worked well together. You balanced each other’s flaws and brought out the best in one another. If someone had asked you years ago prior to you being employed by the heir if you could even tame the renowned free spirited man, you would’ve said probably not, but after sharing struggles and quite literally forcing one another to do better, you both reached highs neither expected to achieve.

It was an experience and a whole lot lessons learned working with him.

Unfortunately, all things must come to an end, and you had to leave even if Satoru negated to it.

“We’ve been working together for years. Do you know how many people I fired and have resigned all because they’re not equipped for the job?” he plopped down atop his desk, loosening his tie out of frustration. The simple gesture made you swallow and look away – it felt impossible to look at him any other way than a boss now that you had his baby inside you. Thankfully, Satoru was mouthy as usual that he pulled you back from your train of thoughts as he gestured between the both of you. “You and I are perfectly compatible – I can’t let you go like that. I’m sorry, but I need you. There’s no one else I can work with this functionally. No one else is as willing to tolerate my bullshit except you and...I need you to stay.”

You clenched your teeth at the desperation in his voice.

Satoru admitting he needed people was one thing. But him asking others to stay? It may have just been for your value as the only person who had put up with him in both his best and worst times that made him feel that way, but you had to keep your foot down on the ground.

You wouldn’t let him sway you like this.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and willed all your energy to spring forth. “Sir...I’m more than thankful for all the opportunities, it truly was a pleasure working with you but—”

“Is this because we slept together?” he cut you off, your shoulders tensing. Upon your silence, Satoru heaved himself away from the desk and took cautious step towards you, stopping a foot away when you stepped back defensively.

You almost wished you didn’t know him so well. His eyes shone with a flicker of hurt before he masked it just as quick as it had came – for Gojo Satoru was a master of many things, and a great actor was one of them. Cautious, you had to be cautious, and you clenched your fists behind your pencil skirt as you tore your gaze away from his pleading ones. “It is, isn’t it?” he affirmed with a clear of his throat, looking just as lost as you did. Satoru stuttered for a minute before he eventually composed himself, but even then, he didn’t sound half as sure as he wanted to be.

“Listen, whatever happened that night, we can forget about it if you want. We’re both adults and professionals – we can put this aside us and just go back to normal. You don’t have feelings for me, right? So then it shouldn’t be a big deal.”

“Satoru...it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?” he demanded, aggravated. Satoru began to round his desk and pulling out little white envelopes, stacking them before you in a haste. “Do you want a pay raise? A new car so you could get to work easily? O-or perhaps a bigger house where you can work more comfortably, somewhere nearer to the office? All you have to do is tell me and I’ll give you what you want. There’s no need for you to resign, this company has given you everything and we’ve got so much offer just as you could still be great—”

“I’m pregnant.”

Satoru’s slender fingers halted around the pen hovering over a cheque slip. “What?”

“I said I’m pregnant,” you exhaled, biting down on your bottom lip to prevent yourself from quivering. A quick sweep from your face to gather sincerity trailed down to your belly, staring at you hard enough as if he had the ability to look through your soul. “And you’re the father.”

“Is that true? Is...is it really mine?”

“Yes sir,” you nodded, “I’m not telling you this because I expect that you’ll be responsible for it. No offense, sir, but I’d really rather raise the baby alone. Plus, I understand that you’ll never settle down or suddenly abandon your old ways just to—”

“Stop right there,” he raised a palm, “You mean to tell me you’re resigning because you thought I wouldn’t take responsibility for it? For you?”

The hurt in his voice and expressions were evident, lip curled in disgust; not for you, but rather of himself. Satoru was the type of man that couldn’t be withered down even with the harshest of rumours; you’d never seen him be affected before by tabloids and nasty ex-girlfriends who only slept with him for money or fame, only to talk smack about him afterwards. But now, he was crumbling before you, and you didn’t know quite what to say or feel over the vulnerability present in his cerulean eyes. It almost pained you know that you caused this – for the comforting, blue sky to be tainted with a thunderstorm that hinted of anger, of disappointment, of betrayal.

But could he blame you for not thinking the best of him?

“I’ve worked with you for years, sir, I know you.”

“Clearly not well enough,” he chuckled sarcastically, “Admittedly, I’m surprised, but not upset. The only thing that I’m upset about is that you actually believed it would be better to raise the baby – our baby – alone like I don’t even have a right to be in their life. Sure, it was an accident, but we made that. That’s our child and I’m going to take care of you and be a great father, even if you don’t think I’m capable of it.”

“Sir, I didn’t mean—”

“That’s the first time you said something stupid. That’s our baby. We’re a family now,” Satoru’s hesitance had vanished into thin air as he was on you the next instant, hands shaky before they landed on your shoulders. It was meant to be a comforting gesture; a reassuring one, yet you couldn’t help but flinch and falter under his gaze. As if getting the message, he quickly retracted his hands and shoved them deep inside his pockets with a sigh. “You don’t need to resign or worry about anything else. I promise I’ll give you both the life you deserve, just...just please don’t go. Now that I know we have a baby, there’s just no way I can let go of this and pretend I never heard of this at all.”

You swallowed, rubbing your sweaty palms on your skirt.

Out of all the different scenarios you stayed up late at night to turning your head in one by one, none of them included this. Undeniably, he was an asshole to most, but maybe he was right.

He hadn’t done anything wrong to you and he was still the father of your baby; he deserved a chance. Satoru had the right to be the father he was willing to be. You could already tell this might completely turn into one big mess, but his eyes were so hopeful, his smile so nervous yet expectant that you couldn’t help but say –

“Okay,” you relented.

His reaction was instantaneous. Satoru beamed and lounged at you, arms wide open for an embrace before realizing at the last second you could stab him with a pen and not regret it. One warning glare sent his way and he was retracing his arm behind his head, pretending to stretch with an off-tune whistle.

The sudden switch between pained and enthusiastic gave you whiplash, but you really shouldn’t be surprised. This was Gojo Satoru in the first place – he was as unpredictable as nothing was permanent and lasting to him.

It could be both a blessing and a curse.

For the sake of your baby, you genuinely hoped it was the former.

Not wanting him to get too ahead of himself since you still didn’t trust him enough, you raised a finger to poke him in the chest. Right now, you were no longer his secretary that openly despised him but added six sugar cubes in his coffee just as he liked anyway, but rather a woman who shared this mess with him, and as the mother of his child. You had to be strong. Being with Satoru felt like playing with fire, and you had far too much at stake – both of you did – but you weren’t privileged and fortunate like Satoru. One bad thing thrown his way could be brushed off, but for you? Everything you worked hard for could disappear just like that.

If you really chose now to play with fire, you had to be careful not to be the gasoline that ignited things to burn down into ashes.

“Satoru,” you stressed with your lips pressed into a thin line, “The only thing I expect from you is to be is a good father to our child. I know that it would be difficult for you to be a new person in a day and that your old habits won’t die right away, so please do what you can to be a good parent, and I’ll be with you every step of the way. I promise you don’t have to worry about me getting in the way of your life as well.”

His smile slowly vanished.

“Is that how low you really think of me?” he echoed rather sadly, “That I would still sleep around knowing I’ve got a family now?”

“We’re not a family, Sir. I have no intentions of marrying you nor would I ever want it. I’m just staying for the baby.”

“Fine. For the baby, let’s both do our best,” he crossed his arms on his chest, pumping out the hard muscles from how tight his shirt was. You were stuck between wanting to slap him or be closer to him; the hormones too much of a mess that you had to grip your thigh for restraint. “But tomorrow, you’re moving in with me. I’m going to take care of you from now on – I’ll get you whatever you need so whatever it is, just tell me. My credit card is yours to use as well.”

Move in with him? You wanted to laugh. That was the last thing you would want to happen.

“Sir, it’s fine, I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t, but I want to take care of you both,” he reiterated, growing slightly annoyed from your rigidness. You professed that you were being difficult right now, but it was much better than being easy around someone like him.

“We don’t have to be friends or lovers, alright? I know you don’t see me that way and I’m probably repulsive in your eyes – which is understandable since you always clean my mess up for me – but as a father, at least, let me do my job. There doesn’t have to be anything between us other than a mutual want to be good parents. Is that alright with you?”

You mulled the thought over in your head. So he was capable of being sensible sometimes, and after a few moments of silence, you narrowed your eyes at him.

Still suspicious and your guard was most definitely still up, but he was right. You both had a mutual want to be good parents and that was the most important thing right now. Everything else that complicated matters would be handled afterwards.

“I’m okay with that, but I would have to set down lots of boundaries if I’m living with you.”

“So you’ll really stay with me then?” You regretted nodding in response because Satoru was now fishing his phone out, a goofy smile on his face.

He took the news...surprisingly well, and you didn’t know what to make of it.

“Perfect! I’ll have your room prepared!” You tried to grab his arm to stop him from going overboard; knowing full well Satoru always had rushes in which he impulsively overdoes things. He might turn your room into some sort of grand suite that you wouldn’t really like, but he was far too excited and lost in his own thoughts that your words went from one ear and out the other. “Fuck,” he laughed to himself, “I’m going to be a dad.”

Whether it was relief or anxiety that bubbled through you, you had no idea.

It was definitely anxiety.

Satoru felt like a hyper child to be around, and as much as you were grateful that he was happy about this, you also wished he would calm down. You didn’t even have enough chance to settle in before he’s shoving you inside room by room, announcing that what was his was also yours and he would have a baby room set up next week.

You followed him around like a puppy as he marched into the kitchen, mumbling incoherently to himself about baby proofing furniture.

“Sir,” you called out, “Sir, listen to me. We need to talk about boundaries.”

Satoru blinked owlishly at your tired eyes, sheepishly smiling at you. It must’ve dawned on him that his speed tour of his penthouse felt a lot more overwhelming than welcoming, and he sat you down on the island stools before drumming his fingers impatiently on the cool marble. “Sorry, you were saying? I kind of got carried away.”

Carried away was far an understatement.

“I said, we need to talk about boundaries.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” he paused with a furrow in his brow. “Also can you just call me Satoru? We’re going to be parents anyway and it’s awkward if you keep uh, calling me Sir.”

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes, not really in the mood to argue with him right now. You had to keep intact with him while you still had his full attention. Taking out a little notepad you prepared the night before, you slid it over Satoru who tilted his head to the side rather cutely to read it. “So here are my boundaries. One, I don’t want this pregnancy to be announced in the media unless I’m ready. I understand that we can’t keep this a secret forever but I need time to process this. Two, just because we’re living in the same roof together doesn’t mean that I get to go anywhere and everywhere with you. I’m going to work by myself—”

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I said no,” he repeated more firmly this time. “You’re pregnant and I want to make sure you’re safe at all times. I’m driving you to work.”

“Didn’t you just hear what I said? I don’t want to be seen with you.”

“You’re my secretary. People see us together all the time.”

“But you never drove me to work! I live far from the office and I most definitely don’t drive an Audi.”

“Things change, that’s your life now,” Satoru shrugged nonchalantly, stealing the pen you twirled in your hands. The sudden contact sent jolts of electricity from your knuckles, one that had you recanting your hands back to yourself. Satoru didn’t seem to notice as he crosses out the second rule, “Sorry not sorry but I don’t want to let you go places like that. Fine by me if you don’t want me to drive you, but at least have one of the chauffeurs take you somewhere if you really don’t wanna be seen with me.”

“Fine,” you gritted your teeth. Compromise, compromise, meet in the middle – you repeated to yourself to keep your sanity. “Rule number three: I don’t want you changing your attitude around me. We may have a baby on the way, but you’re still my boss and I want to keep our relationship professional.”

“You’re saying I’m not allowed to fall in love with you?”

You flicked his forehead, effectively erasing the teasing grin he wore. “That’s not going to happen,” you interjected irritably, although your heart skip a beat. That was a massive red flag already; you could never be too comfortable with him. For Satoru, his little comments here and there may come naturally and probably meant nothing to him, but there was a chance you could receive it with different interpretations. Shaking your head at him, you ignored his grumblings on how ‘mean’ you were. “We’re never going to be a couple. We’re just raising a child together. I don’t want you acting weird or too comfortable with me.”

Satoru scratched the side of his head as he mulled about it, “Are we allowed to be friends, at least? I understand the professional part, but I can’t imagine the both of us getting along for nine months and more when we act like boss and employee even alone at home,” before you could say anything, Satoru raised his hands in surrender. “I promise I won’t do anything weird to you. No offense, but you’re not really my type, so same as you, I view you platonically.”

Right. The heart surely was stupid and confusing.

You didn’t want him getting any ideas that this could lead to something more, but at the same time, it hurt a little to know you weren’t his type.

Hiding that pang of hurt behind a tight lipped smile, you forced yourself to agree with him. “I view you professionally, Sir.”

“Satoru.”

“Whatever,” you grumbled. “Rule number four: don’t bring home any of your fuck buddies or flavour of the night. I really don’t care if you sleep around, but respect my privacy and my standing as the mother of your childIf you’re really desperate to get your dick wet, go fuck them somewhere else.”

“You’ve never been this vulgar with me.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. Despite countless of times that he tried being friendly with you to ease your stiffness in the office, you always shot him down.

You came to the city to work and provide for your family, not to be friends with your annoyingly hot boss who enjoyed his life way too much. Unlike him, you were more work than play, and eventually Satoru respected the fact you would never speak or treat him casually.

Until now.

“Try being in my shoes and see if you’d still have the patience of a saint,” you mumbled under your breath, sighing when Satoru’s smile got more awkward. “Listen, Satoru, I don’t mean to be difficult, okay? It’s just...this is a lot. This isn’t just us about anymore – we’re going to be parents and that’s a huge responsibility. It’s not only our lives changing here, a child will be relying on us in the future and I simply want to be a good mother, but I also don’t trust you very well to be comfortable enough to act like we’re suddenly friends.”

“I understand that.”

“Good.”

“Do you have rule number five?”

“No, not really, but I can add more as we go.”

“I have a rule number five,” he piped in, flipping the notepad his way as he scribbled something down. “And it’s that if you need help – and I mean with anything – you would let me help you. I’ve worked with you for a long time and I’m not dumb enough to not notice you like to do things by yourself. Like you said, things are different now, and especially with this pregnancy, you’re not alone in this. You need to let me take over the wheel sometimes. I can’t be just a passenger in the car – you and I are both in this together.”

“Just keep your hands to yourself.”

“That’s easy,” he chirped, and there was that uncomfortable knot in your chest again. However, it didn’t sink in too deep because Satoru was blatantly staring at your belly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “So do we have a name for them already?”

“Satoru, I’ve only been a few weeks pregnant, I don’t—”

Conflicting his previous statement that he’d keep his hands to himself, Satoru suddenly dropped to his knees. You watched with wide eyes, too flabbergasted to move as he places his ear on your belly.

“Hi there, little one,” he spoke in a soft tone, large hands caressing the tiny bump beginning to form. You couldn’t move; hell, you could barely breathe from how comforting his touch seemed in contrast to your mind ringing warning bells above. His voice quickly pulled you back to reality as he flattened his palm, white lashes fluttering against the cotton of your shirt. “I’m your daddy; I can’t wait to meet you. Daddy promises to take good care of you and make you the happiest kid ever, alright? You don’t have to worry about anything as long as I’m here.”

“D-don’t spoil them too much, Satoru.”

“I’ll try not to,” he chuckled. Satisfied with that small moment he had, he straightened up and trudged over the dining table that was far too big for a man who lived alone. In that moment, an image flashed in your mind – that someday that table would no longer look empty as you and your child shared meals with him. You could already imagine how heavenly the sun would shine on the glass windows behind it, the flowers gathered in the middle of the table blooming to life.

Out of nowhere, it struck you.

Could it be that this was why he loved this baby so much after only knowing about it for a few days? Could it be that Satoru really was alone?

“Okay, we should probably have a welcoming dinner! The chefs left me something tonight. I forgot what it’s called but I think you’ll like it. Grab some wine on the cellar for me?”

“Satoru, I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, right! My bad,” he clapped his hands together before pulling out ceramics and a cold pitcher, “Just water for mommy then,” Satoru said absentmindedly, completely oblivious to how your mind short-circuited a few feet away from him. He went about his way ignorant to it all and gently tugged you to sit with him, eagerly digging into the heated meals as you realized both of you hadn’t eaten.

For a guy who talked a lot, dinner with him was surprisingly quiet. Other than the occasional clinking of utensils against the plate, you enjoyed the silence with him.

You wouldn’t have believed it to be possible since Satoru made it his daily business to always fill in the gaps. Peace and comfort stretched before you the whole time, however, that for a moment, just a short moment, you found yourself letting your guard down. Even when you both caught each other’s in the middle of a bite, you found no tension or awkwardness in it. Perhaps it was the familiarity of being beside each other for years now that this should feel natural, or maybe it was because you both mutually agreed on wanting the best for your baby. Whatever it was, you didn’t want to overcomplicate it right now.

“You know, I’m really excited about this. I can’t believe I’m actually going to be a father,” he mused through a bite, swirling his red wine through his glass. Satoru gazed at his reflection almost dreamily, seemingly too deep in thought that he felt far from reach.

Or maybe you were the one who was detached, the one who kept pushing him away, because you could offer him nothing but a lame nod. “I’m glad to hear that...”

“What about you? You don’t look too happy.”

Your eyes widened at his worry. “No, I-I’m happy, of course. It’s just...it’s unplanned, and I’ve had my whole life planned out that I’m not really sure how this will all fall into place together.”

“Hey,” he laced his fingers with yours, squeezing warmth back into your skin that you hadn’t noticed turned cold from the nerves. Unlike his usual self with eyes brimming with glee, you could only see tenderness in him now, some sort of silent vow through a private smile shared only between the two of you in that moment in the solace of his home. Your home. “I promise I’ll be there for you and the baby every step of the way. I know that I haven’t had the best reputation and I have zero idea on parenting, but you’re not alone in this. You can trust me on this one, just like how we always trusted each other during work. Being a parent and running a business are both responsibilities right?”

“Yeah...”

“Well then you already know we work well together. We’re great partners!” he cheered, patting your shoulder way too bro-like. You resisted the urge to cringe. “We’ll be great parents, Y/N. I’m sure of that.”

Unsure of what else to do, you squeezed his hand back. He was right, you would be great parents as long as both of you never gave up. The thought of eating meals with him again with another addition to the table made you smile, and you hadn’t noticed you were spacing out, thumb running over his knuckles that were smooth for a man who never knew a day of hard labour. It wasn’t until you felt something prodding at you metaphorically, and you chuckled nervously as you saw Satoru smiling mysteriously at you.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing,” he grinned, “I’ve just never seen you this close before; not so much that I paid attention anyway. But this is nice – having you here, I mean. It gets lonely here sometimes.”

“Don’t you bring your girlfriends around?”

“I never make them stay,” was all he said, and just like that, whatever thread that was beginning to form snapped. Satoru released his hold on you and gestured to your plate, carrying the dishes in his hand before leaving you alone on the table. Like always – a whiplash. “I’ll clean up, you can rest in your room now. I’ll take care of the dishes.”

“Do you even know how to do them?”

“Yeah, my mother forced me to wash dishes because she didn’t want me to rely on the house help too much,” he informed, the new information shocking you right to the core as he put on dishwashing gloves and started scrubbing. From this angle, he sure looked damn nice and domestic in just a white shirt, hair ruffled down to bangs. “I’ll be right there with you,” Satoru announces casually, spinning on his heel with red cheeks once he realized what he said. “For just a goodnight, I mean! We’re not sharing rooms!”

“Yeah, no,” you coughed out, “We’re definitely not.”

It felt…surreal, to wake up in a room much grandiose than yours yet felt like home even for the first night. Satoru handled your moving in rather happily; you found him singing to himself this morning as he brewed his own coffee before realizing you were right behind him, sleepy as you lazily made waffles for the both of you. Everything flowed nicely and normally, like this had always been a normal thing that for a moment, you questioned once more what would happen next.

You were now getting ready for work, hands tugging at his tie because he was such a man-child who couldn’t even properly knot his own tie. His suit was custom tailored and he looked effortlessly gorgeous – beauty ripped straight from magazines he was constantly a front page of, but his tie was skewered and loose that it irritated you.

“You’re such a mess without me.”

Satoru bent down to wiggle his brows at you, thought you didn’t notice because he wouldn’t stay still for you to fix his tie fast enough. “Isn’t this sweet; you fixing my tie for me as we both get ready for work?” he teased, “We’re like a married couple already.”

“If you don’t shut up, I’m kicking you in the nuts.”

“Then how can I give you more babies?” picking up the newspaper on the coffee table beside you, you rolled it and started whacking him, a string of profanities colorfully painting his otherwise monochrome and sleek walls. Satoru’s laughter boomed all over the room even as he wiggled away from you, clutching his bicep that had been the victim of your abuse. “Ow, ow, I was joking! Jeez, woman, you are strong. Fight men a lot like this?”

“I work with you. My fighting instincts are always activated.”

His laugh really was annoying. But it did help ease your nerves – though you’d never tell him that – as you sat beside him in his car, the expensive leather seats no longer strange to you. It would’ve felt like any other day where you accompanied him somewhere, except the reason was different now, and it came crashing down on you of your current situation that things were undeniably different from now on.

You immediately stepped away from him the moment you got out of the car, clutching your clipboard to your tummy when Satoru bumped his shoulder with yours. “Come closer, it’s fine. No one will suspect a thing,” he points to the crowded building with people bumping and walking past each other, everyone too occupied in their own heads to even notice you.

It wasn’t much, but hearing his voice and reassurances relaxed you, even for just a little bit. Maybe your first day at work after the baby news wouldn’t be so bad, after all, but it seemed you had spoken too early.

Satoru heavily insisted that you worked inside his office from now on.

Your desk was located right outside his office, the phone line always within reach in case you needed to pass calls to him or if he needed you to come. Satoru preferred the privacy of his own space – or so he said; he actually just didn’t want you to witness him slacking around and experience your wrath – but now he was dragging you inside his office, pushing your shoulders down until you were ‘settled in.’

You didn’t even want to ask where he got a new desk from, or why it had to be right across from him. His desk remained elevated on a few levels, the welcoming lobby of the room filled with couches and stacks of coffee with a rich amount of sugar cubes.

Safe to say, most of the morning was spent (or rather, wasted) on you telling Satoru off. The man was too persistent, coming in on the office at random times of the hour with either snacks or heaps of biscuits on his arms. He always greeted you with a wide grin on his face, only to be kicked out of his own office because you had his hellish schedule and events to deal with. That was around three hours ago when you’d asked him to shut up and go bother someone else. You were halfway around finishing your workload for today when the door swung open, a tuft of white hair and mischievous eyes peeking through.

“Hey! Just checking in on mommy—”

“Satoru!”

“What? It’s just you and I,” he defended with a shrug, welcoming himself inside. Surprisingly, he was empty handed, though the pout on his lips told you it was against his will. “Seriously though, do you need anything? Do you want snacks? Tea? Do you need help going to the bathroom? You haven’t moved in your desk for an hour now.”

“Satoru, I’m pregnant, not disabled,” you ignored him for a while, resuming to working back on his schedule for the month. There were a bunch of e-mails you still had to respond to, which normally wouldn’t be such a daunting task if Satoru wasn’t shifting his weight from one foot to another, the sounds of his shoes hitting the tiles in an annoying click-clack rhythm getting to you. “Will you stop fidgeting! Your anxiety gives me anxiety, stop that!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it, I just feel like there’s something I should be doing.”

“Shutting up and letting me work in peace would be great, thank you.”

“You really don’t need anything?” Sending him a warning glare, Satoru sucked in his cheeks and ran back to his desk where he hid behind the safety of his large monitor. “Nope, yeah, I got the message: leave you alone. Good luck with that then, I’ll need those archives to pull up for our meeting with the directors later at five.”

Muttering a sarcastic finally under your breath, you resumed working.

The routine was per usual – answer the calls professionally with a welcoming and sweet voice, a pen always in one hand to jot down notes in reminders, adjust his schedules, work out his plans, go to him whenever he needed to sign something before responding back to e-mails. You were focused as you always were, but someone wasn’t, and it was getting harder and harder to keep being placated.

It didn’t help that he made no effort to hide the fact he was slacking off, the tip-taps of him randomly pressing keys on the keyboard similar to a fork dragging down a plate.

“I can feel you burning holes at the back of my head,” you twittered, “What do you need?”

“Nothing at all. I’m just realizing how beautiful you are right now.”

You paused. Unable to deny your curiosity over how serious he sounded, you spun around in your swivel chair. Satoru had his chin on his hands as he stared right back at you, his face devoid of expression that you couldn’t pick up on a single clue. “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

You rolled your eyes at him. Of course the bastard would be teasing you, his loud chuckles a painful reminder of that. It was best to ignore him, so you went back to reading e-mails and forced yourself to focus on the task at hand. “We’re at work. Please stop distracting me; I can’t focus when you’re staring at me like a creep.”

“Sorry, babe, I’ll try to be less distracting next time, though I can’t control my charisma, you know!”

You jotted your thumb to your desk outside, “I can walk back to my desk where you can’t see me. That’d be a great for both of us.”

“Stay right there, I was joking!”

“Do you promise to be quiet and actually do your job if I stay?”

“With you disciplining and ordering me around like that, why not?” Mouth open for another heated retort, Satoru stopped you before you could say anything, his aura more serious this time. He was always like this; fooling around and maturing the next second, only for the cycle to repeat and test your patience. “I’m just teasing you, Y/N, I’ll shut up now. You’re free to end work as soon as you’re tired though; the driver is waiting in the parking lot whenever you want to go home.”

“I’ll go home with you.” Home. It felt weird to say that, but also…natural.

“You’ll stay with me at work today?” He sounded genuinely surprised, and you responded with a one-shoulder shrug. That seemed to be enough for him, however, and it wasn’t long before Satoru found the oh so rare and fleeting motivation to work hard.

Once he was settled, sleeves rolled up to expose his veiny forearms and brows furrowed as he centered all his attention on the pile of paperwork before him, there was no stopping him.

Roles reversed and positions switched, you were now the one unable to take your eyes off him.

In this light, in this moment, Gojo Satoru had never looked more beautiful. He was much the same as you in the manner you never really noticed each other this way before; not romantically, but even just person to person. In your eyes, he was nothing but your irritating boss whose boisterous self always crowded over your peace, and in his eyes, you were nothing but his secretary who he knew always silently hoped would leave you alone.

But things were different now. You were different now.

Boundaries there may be, you couldn’t help that fluttering forming in your stomach. Contentment, happiness, relief, nervousness – all of them jumbled into one big mess. Out of them all, however, there was most definitely adoration, either out of respect for his unexpected kindness, or simply because it felt nice to feel for once.

Turning away from him until your back was the only thing he could see, you hid your smile as you secretly held your belly.

You’d never been reckless before, but what was to be a good story when there wasn’t a mistake or two made?

2K notes · View notes

anyoneseenadam · 3 years

Text

Healing

pairing: Azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: TW - sexual assault, rape, objectification and implications of abuse, smut, consensual sex, azriel is a sweetie and rhys is a good bestie

a/n: first of all PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!!! i’m really proud of this fic but I don’t want to trigger or upset anyone, that being said it isn’t too graphic but still. Anyway I hope u enjoy, this took me three days lmao <333

based on: this and this

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You had your first less than savoury encounter with men when you had barely turned nine. Your body still hadn’t finished forming, but you were growing, and your body was gaining some semblance of shape as you did. It wasn’t much – just a whistle from across the street – but for a second your heart seized up with fear, and in the next you almost felt giddy. A man thought you were beautiful.

You felt like a princess that day – felt the way you had when the boy from your class had kissed your cheek, still too young to process the intentions behind that single whistle. But you didn’t care – someone wanted you.

When you got your first period at twelve – even more changed. Your body felt new, and you didn’t feel comfortable in the changes. Your old clothes didn’t fit and now your mother forced you into tighter corsets for those long, long dinners you had to attend. Your parents were respected Fae in the Hewn City – nobles who liked to drink and smoke and throw extravagant balls. And with your new body you could no longer simply hide in the corner or climb through secret passages with your friends – muddying your dresses.

Now you had to smile when men hugged you slightly too long, laugh when they commented on how much you had grown up, sit pretty and pristine with an old mans hand loitering to close to your rear for hours as you watched your parents drink away their troubles.

By the time you were fifteen you were used to the constant attention, your beauty not uncommon where you lived but still doted on often. Unaware of their desire for your youth, your naivety. The women never offering a helping hand but instead glaring down high skewed noses as their husbands slurred into your ears – still in shock that a pretty, young thing like you was all alone at this party.

When you were sixteen you decided to change that – kissing an alright looking boy at a party and telling him exactly what he wanted to hear so he would kiss you back. He stayed when you didn’t protest as he pulled you to the bathroom and pushed you to your knees. And for this small request, the greasy hands on your body at balls and dinners or any other social gathering halved – now only the truly self-righteous felt they could touch you still.

The only problem was you truly did love the boy you had chosen. He had faults yes, but he was kind – he brought you flowers and kissed your cheek. But he also spoke over you, forced you into silence and took what he wanted. And he always wanted the same thing.

If anything it was his father’s fault. The military commander never leaving room for debate when he argues with his wife – and sons only become what they see in their fathers.

Your father had left with a younger woman a few months after your fourteenth birthday, and you hadn’t seen him since – only heard stories of him galivanting around the autumn court from your classmates. You could see the distaste your mum held you in as she realised she would have to stick around to look after you, not yet old enough to be married. Then Amarantha had taken hold of the country and that possibility had been thrown out the window anyway.

Weirdly enough not that much changed in your life when she took power, the only major difference was that now you had to block out screams before going to sleep and even they had become like white noise. You still drank with your friends on Friday nights, went out with your boyfriend on Saturdays and slept the pain away on Sundays. Your weekdays consisted of school, dinners, balls and whatever more your mother could throw together to appease the high queen.

That and the high lord of the night court had started making appearances at the events your mother threw. He was a cruel man standing so proudly at the queen’s side – but you saw something flickering in his eyes whenever people spoke, complimenting his power and rule. You saw what you felt as you laughed at compliments and lingering touches – you saw pain, but more importantly you saw anger. And right now you could use anger.

During one ball you watched him leave, taking an odd route – not the one that would help him escape the loud music but instead a long winding corridor leading to a series of smaller rooms. Without thought you peeled away from your company, muttering excuses and went after him – grabbing a bottle of wine as you did.

You found him reclining in an empty room and knocked on the door gently. He cracked open an eye – slow like a cat – and beckoned you in. You moved to perch next to him, leaning back with a straight back and letting your head loll slightly as you took a swig of the dark red wine, before passing him the bottle.

“You looked like you could use a drink,” you smiled, eyes focused on his sharp jaw as he held the bottle to his mouth with a laugh.

“One way of putting it,” he smiled. The two of you sat in silence for several minutes as you took in his beauty, his looks plus mannerisms all made him seem like a wild cat - a panther trapped underground.

“Why are you here?” he finally asked, and you raised a hand to trace that sharp jaw. But instead of devouring you as any lesser man would’ve, he brushed your hand away and held it tightly in his larger one. “That’s not gonna happen, you’re what sixteen?”

“Almost seventeen,” you said, cheekily. He laughed but shook his head, squeezing your hand before releasing it.

“You’re still a child,” he said matter-of-factly, and you scoffed, stealing your wine back to drink again.

“Yeah well that’s usually a selling point,” your voice was sad, but you didn’t dare let your eyes stray from his – refusing to show fear, “And you’re so nice to me, I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

He laughed as you pouted, “You practice this in the mirror or something?”

“Usually works in three seconds,” you confess, and he whistles under his breath, “Men are rather easy to manipulate when they’ve been trying to get into your skirts since your first bleed.”

“And you wonder why I’m not about to take advantage of you,” he laughed, and you smiled – a real smile, or real enough. “Plus I don’t think your little boyfriend would be pleased.”

“Eh, he’s never pleased - I don’t think this could make him worse.” Rhysand took the wine back and frowned.

“Does he hurt you?” his voice was sincere but the laugh you let out was not.

“Don’t all men,” he swore, and you laughed again, “Yet you foil my plan to make you fall in love with me and whisk me away to the moon.”

He laughed, but his eyes darkened with deep sadness you were sure you would never understand, “I think we both no that even I could not do that, but I might be able to crush your fly.”

“Little boyfriend? Fly? You really don’t like him do you?” you laughed, head lighter already.

“I don’t like any man who thinks they can hurt women,” he said, frowning when he realised through your passing back and forth there was no wine left.

“Shit that took us like five minutes,” you complained, and he laughed, waving his hand lightly as several more bottles appeared before you – you grinned as you grabbed another.

“So any friends with weaker moral backbones that I could marry?” you asked with a laugh, and he smiled at you.

“I’m sure I could find someone,” he leaned back again. You smiled – finally happy that one night might pass in the company of a decent man.

Soon, you’d find it would be more than one night, a close friendship quickly blossoming between you and the high lord. All your friends were convinced you were sleeping together but true to his word he didn’t touch you, and by the time you surpassed the age of eighteen you didn’t want him to. But that didn’t stop other men.

After a particularly bad argument with your boyfriend that had left you with a handprint on your left cheek you had broken up with him – sending away his apologies and flowers, smart enough to see he didn’t hold the mental capacity to change.

Plus you were beautiful and young, you could certainly do better. And you soon did – rich men who liked to buy you jewellery, and fine clothes, men who enjoyed literature and art and spending time with you.

And at the start of each relationship, for a few blissful seconds you would believe in their pure intentions. But then a hand would drift from your lower back to your ass, or the gentle kiss that followed a necklace would shift from your mouth to your breasts. Not one of them wanted to wait until you were comfortable, so you made yourself comfortable.

You pictured pretty, strong men were holding you down and making you feel something, slipping your own hand between your legs and they penetrated you to try and replicate what you were sure a lover’s touch must feel like. And as always – after the first time- they stopped asking for permission, you were their toy, so you no longer had choice over that part of yourself.

But through nice guys and bad boys, for fifty years you had Rhysand who was a friend – who treated you with respect and finally let you talk, let you breathe.

In the end he was the one who found you, in the backroom of a party – drunk and undressed. You were weeping, curled in a ball with your attackers’ seed dripping out of you, bruises decorating your bare skin. When he turned you over with his comforting hands he found your nose dripping red and the vibrant lipstick you wore smudged.

He helped you sit up and redress, took you home and stood outside the bathroom while you scrubbed yourself clean in scalding water – still unsteady on your feet. You changed into a nightgown silently and neither of you said a word when you crawled into bed next to each other, crying in your best friends’ arms as he tried to console you.

When you woke up, he was gone with just a scribbled message about Amarantha and the name of a healer he trusted. But you just placed it back down, turning onto your back and staring at the ceiling as hot tears ran into your hairline.

You barely ate anything for the days following your assault – fighting with your mother more when you rarely saw her and subsequently breaking it off with your current boyfriend. You had thrown his hands off you when he tried to touch you and the screaming match that followed ended your relationship.

Your bond with Rhysand grew only closer however as you spent nights drinking in candlelight, talking about anything and everything until you were sure he knew every inch of your soul and you his.

“You know what I’m going to do as soon as she’s gone,” you whispered one night as you stared at the twinkling lights you had hung on your bedroom roof to imitate stars.

“What?” Rhys had asked, never letting his eyes leave the ‘stars’ which he had laughed at and then proceeded to rearrange to make them more accurate. To which you threw a pillow at his head.

“Find a hill, or a pier, or a large pit or anything and scream into it until my throat bleeds.” You said and he laughed, the bed beneath you rumbling.

“Consider me on board.” He joked as you sat up to perch at your vanity – smudging the sharp eyeliner you wore with a small brush and applying some red lipstick.

“Wanna go out?” you asked him, and he sat up to with a small, sad smile.

“Can’t.” you understood his implication and frowned.

“I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t gutted me yet,” you tried to lighten the mood, but his face darkened slightly when he joked back.

“Oh she wants to, I’m telling her any information you give me about citizens, so she doesn’t.” He said, ruffling your hair as he stood to leave.

“That’s fair, I’ll keep an ear out,” you smiled, squeezing his hand gently before he left.

Things changed when Feyre Archeron appeared, you saw the way your friend watched her and realised you might be competing for his attention soon, but you were happy for him. Until he brought her to that first party – drugged and barely dressed. You felt the bile rise in your throat as you pushed down memories of yourself in such a similar position, and while you knew he would never hurt her – he was still a man. And you were foolish to believe for all those years that he was a man who would realise this was wrong.

Making polite excuses you left the party, picking up the tails of your dress as you all but raced home – ditching the dress and closing the blinds tightly as you made yourself food in your underwear. The sick feeling in your throat spreading through your chest and stomach as you ate, abandoning your meal halfway for a book and large sweater. And when he knocked on your door that night, desperate to tell you all about her – all about the human girl who he was sure could be his mate, you pretended to be asleep.

You barely spoke to him the whole time she was there, unable to look him in the eyes when she was so clearly out of it – and the feeling only grew when the next morning she would have all eyes on her. You understood that feeling. You instead spent parties flirting with Tarquin, the young high lord who was only a few years your senior or warding off marriage invitations with laughs and carefully placed words.

Rhys would sometimes catch your eyes – furrowing his eyebrows at you when you avoided his gaze, the sick feeling never really leaving. But it wasn’t until you watched Tamlin slay Amarantha with a smile that he tried to speak to you again. Feyre was Fae and leaving with her betrothed and Rhysand had just confirmed they were mates – and never had he needed his best friend quiet like he did now.

You were sitting when he found you, head in your palms and blood dusting the skirts of your dress. You had been sitting near Amarantha when it happened. You looked up when he neared, smiling sadly as he sat next to you.

“Want to go home?” he asked you quietly and you scoffed, standing, and moving to leave quickly. He followed after you, grabbing your arm as you wrenched it out of his grip with more ferocity than he had ever seen from you.

“Don’t touch me,” he held his hands up, backing away to give you space as you got your breathing under control.

“What did I do?” he asked – smart enough to not presume anything.

“How could you think it was okay, after what happened?” your voice was quiet again, and so sad.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he implored, stepping slightly closer again. You raised your eyes to meet his and he understood, the darkness you carried in your eyes shining through – the memories that resurfaced in those dark moments. “I’m sorry, let me explain please.”

You let him hold your arm softly as he winnowed the two of you to your house where you sat down heavy and tired.

“I did it because she needed out of that cell, but I saw what they did to you and you’re a fae woman, she’s… she was human. So it meant that no one else would touch her.” He tried to explain, “And she wouldn’t want to remember.”

“That’s a horrible thing to do Rhys.” You stated and he hung his head low, “How in anyway was that helping her, to get her out you could’ve snuck her here or just take her to a ball and let her dress normally.”

“I’m sorry, I just knew this would’ve been the safest option,” he grabbed your hand again and squeezed it like he did all those years ago, “It’s over, we can go home.”

“I am home,” you laughed bitterly, gesturing to your house.

“No, you’re coming out of this city – we’re putting it behind us.” He stood and held out a hand.

“I know you’re trying to be dramatic and all, but I have to pack – and think.” You said and he laughed.

“Take your time,” he said, sitting back to wait for you, “And I know it might take you a while to forgive me, but I’ll wait.”

You had left soon after, as he revealed his city to you. Winnowing to a house where two beautiful women stood at the door, strong winged men appearing next to them almost instantly – all sharing the same tear-eyed look. Well, all asides from a short, dark-haired woman who simply smiled.

The men you presumed were Azriel and Cassian barrelled towards Rhysand, attacking him in the most violent hug you had ever witnessed. Mor followed soon after and Amren simply offered him a curt nod, to which he bowed slightly with a cheeky smile.

Cassian turned to look at you and everyone followed suit, you straightened up – not wanting to cower under their gazes.

“And this, this is (y/n).” Rhysand said, placing a hand on your elbow, “She’s the only reason I survived under the mountain.”

You smiled at him, annoyed still – but you still held so much love for him in your heart. You looked away when Cassian approached and wrapped you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground slightly.

When he released you he looked you dead in the eye, “I am forever in your service.”

“Cassian let go of the poor girl,” Mor exclaimed behind him, and you giggled, looking to Rhys for support.

“Forgot to tell you he’s a hugger,” he shrugged, and you shoved his shoulder.

“Oh did you!” you laughed.

“Gotta get used to it, you’re part of the team now,” Cassian slung an arm around your shoulder as he guided you inside, “which means lots of hugs and long talks about emotions.”

“Don’t steal my best friend Cassian,” Rhys jabbed at his brother as you all moved to sit inside around a long table.

“He already had I’m afraid, can’t reverse love like ours,” you joined in, patting Cassian’s hand as he punched the air in victory, Rhysand feigning pain as he dramatically collapsed into his chair – a hand over his heart.

When you were finally seated you caught Azriel’s gaze, his eyes locked on you – having watched you interact with his family for less than five minutes and already completely enamoured. You smiled softly when you caught his gaze and he grinned at you, no words passing.

Later that evening – after too many drinks, you found yourself alone on a balcony you found, drinking in the fresh air greedily after all those years underground. You didn’t realise he was there until he was next to you – silent on his feet, his shadows a cool chill passing over your shoulders.

You tilted your head to look at him, in awe of his beauty. Not even Rhysand had awed you as much as this man was, his beauty unparalleled by anyone you had met before. He turned his gaze down to you as well, fighting the urge to reach out and touch you as he watched you move with such elegant curiosity.

“We haven’t had the pleasure of being formally introduced,” you smiled, lifting your hand delicately, “I’m (y/n).”

He met your hand halfway, lifting it to his mouth with perfectly poised and trained grace. “Azriel,” his voice was deep, gruff – and sent chills through you quickly. But when he moved your hand from his mouth you held on, the sparks flowing through you telling you all you needed to know. He similarly made no move to let go.

“Are we? I don’t really know how any of this works,” you laughed nervously but he smiled so warmly and tugged you slightly closer to him with the hand you were still clutching.

“You’re my mate princess,” he said, voice rough from disuse. You smiled widely, eyes forming tears as your gaze never strayed from him – finally getting one person who would truly love you, not your body – but you. He tugged your hand gently and you followed him inside, smiling and love drunk.

“We should probably go to the house of wind,” his voice was quiet as you furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“Me and Cassian have to share a room here, the bed are singles.” You smiled and laughed – irrevocably happy.

“Yeah maybe not,” you said, and he held your hand softly as he walked you to the front door, passed his past out friends, Rhys cracking an eye open when you walked past him, and you turned when he tugged your skirt gently.

You okay? He asked in your mind, and you smiled at him.

I’m perfect, why? You replied as he closed his eyes again, clearly too tired to hold them open - Azriel moving to retrieve your coats.

Just don’t feel pressured into doing anything you’re not ready for, Azriel is understanding he won’t get angry. A sort of cold feeling settled on your shoulders when you realised why Azriel wanted that extra privacy.

Shit forgot I had to do that you joked but Rhysand felt the stress growing, however before he could reply Azriel was by your side again and you were waving him goodbye, your smile tight lipped.

Honestly, you trusted Rhysand when he said that Azriel would understand – but so far you had yet to meet a man who truly respected the boundaries you set, a man who would truly wait. Azriel met your eyes in silent questions before scooping you into his arms, flying high above the house as you squealed in his arms, clinging tightly to his neck, and shutting your eyes tightly as you soared above the vibrant city.

He felt you tense as you neared the house, swooping lower in order to land on the large balcony attached to his room. He placed you on shaky legs gently and looked down to smile at you again – heart so full of love and peace.

Not only was his brother returned to him in one piece, but along beside him came you. His mate. His mate.

You caught his gaze and gave him a tight-lipped smile, terrified for history to repeat itself. You wanted to talk to him and know him – you didn’t want him to learn to love your body instead of you. And you were truly afraid to be touched again, you hadn’t been with a man since you were raped – fear stopping you before they could get close and walls slamming up if they tried.

“Are you okay?” Azriel’s voice was dripping with concern – genuine concern, and the way he said it made tears well up in your eyes. His own instantly widened as he sensed the sadness and fear rolling of you in waves, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you sobbed into his chest. “Oh sweetheart we don’t have to do anything, c’mon lets go sit down.”

He guided you through the glass doors and sat you down gently on the bed, holding you gently and coaxing you through your breakdown. Once your breathing had calmed slightly and you had pulled out of his embrace, wiping your tears harshly with the butt of your hand.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered quietly, terrified to anger your mate when you’ve only just found him.

“It’s okay darling, what’s wrong – did I do something? You’re not terrified of heights are you?” he asked, and you laughed softly, a smile growing on his face as his worries eased slightly.

“No, that was fun,” he grabbed your hand in his scarred ones and you gripped it tightly.

“Then what was it?” you looked into those beautiful, worried eyes and let out an exhale – bottom lip quivering.

“I just don’t think I can – I can’t do that tonight.” You whispered the words lowly, afraid of his reaction as you clung like a child to his hand.

“Hey, that’s okay – we don’t have to do anything until you’re ready,” he smiled, worries easing. You still wanted to be with him, just not in that way yet – and he could wait. He would wait a million years if you asked.

“Even if I’m not ready for a while?” You asked, and he held your face in his hands gently – looking into your tear-filled, defeated eyes.

“I would wait forever and then some – I have already waited so long to meet you, I’m sure I can last longer, especially if you’re next to me.” Your smile was so sad when you met his eyes.

“I’ve been told that before,” Azriel just pulled you closer to him with a cheeky grin.

“And were any of them your mate?”

“No,” you smiled at him again and he thought his heart was going to combust.

“Well then, I love to prove people wrong.” You buried your head into his chest as his arms came around you once more, “Would you like to sleep here, or would you like your own room?”

“Here is fine, I like the way you make me feel,” you said quietly, tugging on the bond experimentally. Azriel just smiled and tugged back.

“That works for me, I’ll get you a change of clothes.” He moved to stand but you stopped him – tugging on the dress shirt he wore.

“I want this,” you grinned cheekily up at him, and he laughed, but undid the buttons and pulled it off anyway – turning around to let you change in peace. When he turned back around you were looking up at him with wide eyes – looking impossibly cute in his shirt.

“It has holes in the back,” you complained, and he laughed, sitting down to tug off his trousers before sliding under the covers as you scrambled to lay in his arms.

“Well I do have wings,” he cemented his point by letting one drape over your shoulders as you sighed in content.

“Really, I hadn’t noticed,” you deadpanned quietly, burrowed deep under his arms and the covers. His chest rumbled with the silent laugh as he pressed a kiss into your hairline.

The next morning he awoke to you laying on his chest, tracing the scars on the backs of his hands with a delicately pointed finger. He stared in wonder, and you must have felt his gaze because you turned your head to meet his eyes, face still puffy from sleep. As you whispered to him that morning, your chin resting on his chest as you gazed up at him until he rose to get your morning drinks. Barely daring to leave for more than a few seconds. And when he returned he was so glad he did – welcoming the sight of you curled up under his sheets with a shy smile and tired eyes.

“Do we have to do anything today?” you asked as you sipped your drink slowly, Azriel’s’ arm tight and secure around your waist.

“Nope,” he said, delighted at the prospect, “I just want to be with you and my family.”

“Sounds heavenly.”

True to his word, for the next few weeks that past, you and Azriel didn’t progress past slow, occasional kisses and lingering touches. But before either of those he was always searching your eyes – asking permission. And you truly fell in love with him during those weeks.

He was caring and consistent – never promising anything he couldn’t bring. And he cared for you, he cared for you past your body and looks. He wanted to be with you for an eternity.

One night, while you lay together, speaking lowly and listening to the rain fall outside your room – a glass door cracked open, you decided you were ready. You pressed closer to him, your lips meeting his own in a kiss more passionate than you had previously shared.

He followed your lead with just as much passion, but when you crawled into his lap he pulled away slightly.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you,” he asked quietly, hands coming to rest on your hips.

“I’m sure, I love you and I want to be with you.” You told him sincerely, “But I haven’t been with anyone in a few years so I’m a little out of practice.”

You giggled nervously but he furrowed his eyebrows, “But you told me about your boyfriends?”

“Yeah but I – stopped dating about five years ago.” You tried to explain quickly, old nerves being brought up, but Azriel pulled you closer and as always his touch calmed you.

“Can I ask why?” he watched you drop your head a little as you breathed slowly – determined to not let your fear rise, you would probably end up telling him anyway so you might as well get it over with.

“I was raped.” You stated and his grip on your hips tightened slightly as he swore.

“Darling, I’m so sorry,” he started but you stopped him with a sharp glaze.

“You don’t need to apologise, it happened and it’s over now.” He could practically feel you pull away, so he loosened his grip on your hips and instead brought his arms up to hold you against his chest.

“Who did it?” he asked, voice dark and dangerous. You muttered a name lowly – under your breath – and he pocketed in the darkest corners of his mind for later. His shadows itching to tear the man apart.

“Look (y/n), if you’re ready I am more than happy to oblige but I need to know you’re really ready, I will wait as long as you need.” You pulled away from his chest and kissed him gently.

“I’m ready, I trust you,” he smiled up at you from where you perched on his lap and you giggled and he flipped you over, laying between your legs with a feral grin.

He made you cum three times with his mouth and those beautiful, beautiful hands alone – more than you had ever experienced with a man and he hadn’t even received any pleasure yet. Except from the pleasure of watching his perfect mate fall apart on his sheets, over and over.

And when he lay over you, your legs pushed up and wrapped around his waist, and his forearms on either side of your head – he would later swear he had never felt more complete.

“I’m here with you remember, will be the whole time.” He assured you, voice soft as he lined himself up and you smiled.

“I love you so much,” you whispered, and he pushed in slowly, filling every part of you and pushing against every spot you didn’t know you had. You swore under your breath when he bottomed out, the slight pain quickly being reduced to please as he dropped his head into the crook of your neck.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good,” you felt shivers run through your body at his gruff voice and smiled, moaning when he began to move.

He pulled his head from where it hid in your neck and watched as you closed your eyes – head thrown back with a smile – and his hips bucked, desperately trying to control himself as he watched you arch your back.

“Shit Az, you’re so big,” you moaned loudly, unaware of the trance you had pulled your mate into.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered with a harsh thrust, a hand coming to stroke down your face as you opened your eyes to meet his, “So perfect.”

You felt as if your heart was going to burst from the love that filled it as you reached up to kiss him softly – conveying every word, every thought, through that kiss. When you pulled away you were nearing your end, the sensations building in you without the need of a fantasy or your own hand.

You moaned his name, gripping his shoulders tightly as one hand instinctively moved to stroke down his wing. He shuddered above you with a loud groan – his thrusts speeding up as he to neared release, yours hips surely bruising from the force of his own.

“C’mon baby, need to feel you, need to know you’re mine.” His words ignited something in your stomach, and you clung tighter to him, kissing his sharp jaw as you smiled.

“I’m yours Azriel, now and forever.” Your gentle words pushed him over the edge and his skilful fingers dipping between your thighs brought you down with him. The two of you crying out at the sensations you shared as a growing need to never let him go consumed you.

He collapsed on top of you soon after and he intertwined your fingers with his own as your breathing evened out. He slipped out of you, and you smiled up at him as he sat up, rolling off your body and laying to the side while you came to rest your head on his firm chest. He brought his spare hand upwards – twirling strands of your hair slightly as you rested in silence. After a few minutes, you clambered into his lap and kissed him firmly as he pulled you impossibly close.

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips, and he felt his heart swell with gratitude to the world for giving him an angel that would willingly hold his hand and guide him out of the darkness.

“I am so in love with you,” he whispered back, and you giggled, a hand moving slowly to stroke him as you felt him harden beneath you again.

“Hmm, is that so?” you whispered.

Azriel, who had started pressing light kisses into your neck, nipped you gently, making you squeal, “What were you saying darling?”

“That I am also deeply, and unequivocally in love with you.” You replied and he rolled his eyes.

“Just putting me to shame with your big words.” He muttered and you giggled – crawling down his body.

“I’m sure I could make it up to you.”

#acofas #acotar #azriel #acomaf #azriel x reader #acowar #acofs #acosf

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