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thesinglesjukebox · 26 days

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CHARLI XCX - VON DUTCH

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“If Von Dutch were alive,” said Burns, who runs a website about his friend at www.vondutch.freeservers.com, “he would hate all this.”

[5.81]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: On February 12 of this year I predicted that "we can safely give the Charli lead single an automatic high controversy [5.00] and be done with it." History will vindicate me. [5]

Jackie Powell: A common Charli XCX motif is her admiration and sampling of 1990s and Y2K culture, which has allowed her to write songs that are cheeky with a dash of British wit. She does this on “Von Dutch” by comparing her reputation in pop to that of a cult classic, but struggles with the extended metaphor of how she’s what Von Dutch, the LA clothing brand that has had a recent resurgence, sounds like. The concept feels incomplete. I actually prefer the song’s remix with Addison Rae and A.G. Cook. The ad-libbed scream from Rae, the added verse, and the dropping of “I’m your number one” over and over again make the remix much more compelling and zany. The original will only really bang in drag bars—a fine place for something to hit, of course, but at this point I expect Charli to be pushing her own boundaries. [5]

Alfred Soto: Like much of her output, "Von Dutch" represents Charli XCX's fair to middling ambition to become a global pop star. Like much of that output "Von Dutch" strikes confused poses over shrieking electronics. [3]

Hannah Jocelyn: Charli XCX said she wants to go back to 1999, but with songs like these she clearly wishes it was 2018: all the callbacks and bombast referring to when she was “the future of music” and not halfway to the headliner of an inevitable "hyperpop" nostalgia festival. I like the gloriously tinny snare, but in 2024 the bratty chant vocals sound dated (as does the album title that's just brat in lowercase). The most exciting songs on CRASH to me were “Constant Repeat” and “Move Me,” which proved she could bring her "kinda rare attitude" to heartfelt ballads. "Von Dutch" is just mindless comfort food for aging cis male gays, which is fine — I’m the lone First Two Pages of Frankenstein defender, I get it — but she can’t say she’s my Number One when on this song, she's my Number [5]

Mark Sinker: I enjoy that Charli XCX lives in a room-sized selection-box of all of the rest of girlpop, everything constantly arriving with its conscious little tweaky echo of this or that prior item. They’re nice items, and we both like them, so why not? Maybe this feels a bit more hemmed in than is comfy, though: it has big Britney-feel, which is to say echoes of an aural highpoint that actually expressed a grim life lowpoint for Brit. As for Von Dutch, they currently have the one and only Wikipedia page with "Behind-the scenes tumult" as a cross-hed, which pleases me but also makes me anxious. [7]

Katherine St. Asaph: Once again, the nostalgia is miscalibrated: Von Dutch was trendy in the mid-2000s, while this sounds like the late 2000s. Specifically, it sounds like every song from the late 2000s I would have given a [7] or higher. [7]

Will Adams: I whole-heartedly support pop stars honoring the advancements made by the likes of Luciana in support of the essential micro-genre of Obnoxious Banger. [7]

Kat Stevens: I'm down for the Bodyrox ft Luciana revival! Is there a Fedde Le Grand remix? [6]

Andrew Karpan: Pop music tells us to want to have it all, a maximalist vision that typically gets bigger as it goes on. Counterintuitively, part of the mesmerizing appeal of Charli’s records is the fact that there is no distance left for her to run and that her sound has become the sound of pop going nowhere but the present, busily manufacturing its cult appeal now for future observers to wax nostalgic about. “Von Dutch” is the most literalized version of that idea from her yet: a squeaky saran-wrapped PC Music-affiliated beat with a middle-aged pulse that never drops but simply hangs, like a foggily-heard echo of itself, like the memory of a club night experienced from the outside while nervously waiting in line in the cold. [7]

Jeffrey Brister: It’s perhaps a bit unfair to compare everything Charli has made recently to the transcendent Pop 2 ("Backseat" 4evr), but when I hear something as dull as this, I can’t help but pine for its melodramatic maximalism. The sounds are just so monochromatic, pulling from a desaturated set of Charli tics like grinding revving synths and choppy autotuned vocal snippets, all snapping together like a “build your own Charli song” kit in nothing but gray tones. [4]

Kayla Beardslee: Why does this sound so bad? [2]

Nortey Dowuona: That last Earl album was good. This Charli single is good. Some people just never live up to your expectations because they are not you. Unlike Charli, I don't think it's because of jealousy, just curiosity and frustration. Charli and Earl were never meant to be Method Man or Robyn -- they had different tastes and trajectories, and slumming it as a major-label balance name isn’t the worst fate. You could be Tyga. Or Rita Ora. [9]

Taylor Alatorre: It's caked in an air of sweaty desperation dressed up as devil-may-care hedonism, which helps rather than hurts because of how unflinchingly skeletal the beat is, showing off its shotgun scaffolding to all who will see. She's not trying to hide anything about how she's trying to hide something. Never mind that the phrase "cult classic but I still pop" could be used to describe everything from the MC5 to DMB -- it wouldn't have suited their milieux, but it's quintessentially XCX. It may be the line Charli was put on this earth to sing, even if through half-gritted teeth. [7]

Leah Isobel: The curse of being Charli XCX is that she is an asymptote: she can approach pop stardom, but she's far too self-conscious to allow herself to actually embrace it. As a result, the curse of being a Charli XCX fan is that she becomes more obnoxious and exhausting every time she reaches a new career milestone. After scoring her first big worldwide hit, she spent her social capital yelling at Germans and collaborating with Iggy Azalea. Number 1 Angel and Pop 2 cemented her as a serious artist with conceptual depth and longevity while simultaneously sending her spiraling into stan Twitter hell, from whence she shall never return. She wears a T-shirt denouncing critics -- which I am not mad at, please drag me mom yas! -- and then logs on with hot takes about Pop Music And Stardom, as a critic does. She sees herself as above mass-market pandering and yet also below it, both superior to the culture and bitter at her inability to assimilate into it. (Gay people love her because she's relatable.) Hence, "Von Dutch." Its corkscrewing mania has the serrated simplicity that characterizes her riffs on punk music; it feels like a cousin to the unfairly maligned Sucker. But where Sucker balanced its brattier impulses with good-natured melodicism and emotional directness, "Von Dutch" is all needling cynicism and overdriven id. The song has a nominal verse/chorus structure but no big dynamic or melodic changes, no particular idea beyond "I'm lovable and awesome; look at my chart placements." The need to serve as a pop single also keeps "Von Dutch" from entering the realm of the dumb-brilliant dance music that so clearly inspired it; it's too much of a branding exercise, too interested in flattering its audience for getting it. And yet in its grating repetition, I still hear her insecurity beneath the synth buzzsaws. No one who's convinced that they're actually Living That Life would say it so directly, with such barely concealed desperation. The curse of being Charli XCX is that, deep down, she is still convinced that she is unlovable. The curse of being a Charli XCX fan is that I love her because she's relatable. [5]

Isabel Cole: I don't know that I'll ever stop feeling about Charli XCX like she's my brilliant daughter who dropped out of med school to pursue a career as a wedding DJ: of course, honey, I just want you to be happy, but are you sure this is what you want? You don't want to, like, try? At all? This is the kind of gleefully, knowingly brainless fun Charli can do in her sleep, propulsive without ever really going anywhere because the point is just to drive. She's not living up to her potential, but much like a boring mom who doesn't "get" her daughter's life of Top 40 hits in mid-budget venues and weeknights spent doing ketamine with her friends, I am unsophisticated enough to enjoy it when she does songs that are songs, and this one does make me feel like I'm walking through the opening credits of my life when it plays. [7]

Ian Mathers: I like it when the synths go THWOOM and/or VOORP. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#charli xcx #music #pop #von dutch #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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bicheetopuff · 2 years

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Battle Trail Arc Dissection

Deku vs Kacchan Pt. 2

Contents:

III: Katsuki And Izuku Were Childhood Friends

IV: Rivalry?

V: Aggressive Fan Behavior Again

VI: The Affects People of Authority Have on Children

III: Katuski and Izuku were childhood friends.

As hard as it is to believe, these two actually were friends.

These colors don’t mean anything in particular.

But I’m gonna separate these panels.

Red) This panel is too vague. No one’s obligated to be friends just for growing up in the same neighborhood. They always go back to the past but never far enough to explain how they became friends in the first place when they’re so different. This is either lazy writing or it’s something that we don’t have to know until later (I really hope we’re shown eventually). Also, notice how they don’t smile when it comes to each other (and continue not to for a phat minute).

Green) Izuku is the only one looking at Katsuki. He used to smile towards him and Katsuki used to not get pissed off at his presence. The other kids follow Katsuki blindly while Izuku is watching him closely. His view of him was indifferent but he admired him for his confidence as a kid, and that admiration is still there (reference to earlier when he was praising him to Ochako).

Orange) Izuku references the first page of vol. 1. This is the presentation of a systemic issue in their society. The better your quirk, the more you’re worth as a person. Which is why Izuku was called useless in his childhood. No quirk, no use. On the other end, it’s also why Katsuki has been praised almost his whole life. Awesome quirk, extremely useful. Emphasizing that people aren’t born equal in their society is also kind of telling that the people on both ends of the spectrum (quirkless->awesome quirk) are victims of the systemic issue.

IV: Rivalry?

After this vague backstory of the two, we’re back to watching Katsuki lose all his senses to the rage he’s feeling towards Izuku at the moment and Izuku reading his moves like a book. Izukus class is praising him for holding his own without using his quirk which is a big difference from what we saw from his middle school class.

At this point, neither team is actually working as a team, directly at least. Izuku is determined to prove himself but also wants to form a strategy so he can win the match. Katsuki is determined to get answers out of Izuku and, in a way, punish him for lying to him about being quirkless.

Izuku realizes why Katsuki is as upset as he is and feels guilty. Izuku is someone Katsuki suddenly has to worry about (more than he already did) and he’s not fond of it but Izuku seems to feel more guilty for hiding something from him.

Izuku shows us his intelligence once again by realizing that Katsuki and Tenya aren’t working as a team and comes up with a strategy to use that to their advantage. But, Izuku let’s emotions get him again and takes back what he said in middle school.

This sets the new vague rivalry in stone.

V: Aggressive Fan Behavior Again

Katsuki starts to refer to Izuku as a pebble once again and, like last time, it seems like he’s trying to convince himself of that comment and he starts to recall a bunch of memories from his childhood, including the scene with Izuku following behind him in the forest again from the last time he referred to Izuku as a pebble.

No matter how much Katsuki picked on him, Izuku stayed close by. This again, is Izuku doing what he wants despite knowing the consequences. Consequences being Katsuki using him as a punching bag in order to boost his own ego. Katsuki made sure Izuku knew that he was better than him in every way despite knowing that wasn’t really true (otherwise he wouldn’t have seen him as a threat in middle school). Izuku started to see himself the way Katsuki wanted him to see himself; as useless and disposable. Hence, the birth of the nickname.

Just like last time, he looks less angry and more unsure of the pebble statement. Also, why is it specifically this scene that makes him unsure? There has to be more to this scene than we’ve been showed because it’s brought up so often, right? I hope so. Horikoshi, I need answers.

More quotes!

I bet he’s fine. Kacchan’s so strong: no one checks on people that appear to be strong. They’re strong so even if they’re not okay, they’re strong and can handle it. Just like with the sludge villain, he was praised for simply living. Katsuki wasn’t the only one who was negatively affected by the constant praise he received as a child. Due to his confidence and strength, everyone around him just assumes he’s okay. Even though he didn’t ask for validation, he’s being invalidated by his friend without realizing it.

I was just fine!: whether you were fine or not, why get offended when someone offers to help you up? He doesn’t want to be saved by someone he sees himself as being better than. Also I’m highlighting this because, if you think about it, we actually don’t know if he was okay. When it comes to this scene, correct me if I’m wrong but, we never see Katsuki accept or reject Izukus hand. However, it’s safe to assume he rejected it. But he could’ve twisted an ankle or something and we’d have no idea. Horikoshi made the conclusion to this scene a mystery just like the scene of them in the forest. Again, I hope we go back to it.

Need help? Can you stand?: another core memory like from the beginning. Izuku being Izuku and being far too kind to someone who gives him the opposite.

Why’d he have to look at me like that?: How dare Izuku look down on Katsuki? How dare he assume Katsuki can’t get up on his own? This kind boy who was worried for his friend needs to be put in his place!

You looked like you needed saving: Katsuki is comparing the river incident to the sludge villain incident. Even though only one of them, his life was actually in danger. Izuku lent out a hand no matter how big or small the problem looked and Katsuki took it as Izuku looking down on him.

But I’m better than him: this is goin back to the “if I can’t save myself I’d rather not be saved at all” attitude. He’s striving to be better than the best and he’s mainly questioning why someone he saw as physically weaker than him was able to save him but he wasn’t able to save himself.

This scene changed the way Katsuki viewed Izuku. Before, he was just someone Katsuki could bounce his insecurities off of with no consequence. After this scene happened he saw Izuku as someone who looked down on him despite being weaker than him and being quirkless. He started to think that Izuku thought he was better than Katsuki. So yeah, this shitshow started from a misunderstanding amongst two 4 year olds…

VI: The Affects People of Authority have on Children

This goes back to that systemic issue that only Izuku seemed to notice. Katsukis ego is a beach ball and their society pumped so much air into it that it burst (he eventually starts to pick up the pieces and tries to mend the beach ball later on though and this arc is the first step of doing that). He receives praise from adults and peers and he’s convinced himself that he’s better than everyone else because of his quirk, because that’s what he’s been told. Because in their society, the better your quirk, the more useful you are. It determines your worth. On the other side of the same coin, Izukus self confidence is also a beach ball but society didn’t even offer him a pump. If anything, holes were poked in his beach ball so he was unable to even try to blow it up himself (until All Might, his classmates, and his mother offered tape to help fix the ball and pump air into it slowly so it doesn’t break again… I like this analogy, sorry). Either way, both beach balls have been ruined for a majority of both of their lives. Even though it’s a little bit harder to see from Katsukis side, they’re both victims of this systemic issue. And this is when Katsuki started to use Izukus quirklessness as ammunition to justify his resentment and amplify his on going harassment.

DvK

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Dissection Series

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#bnha #bnha meta #mha #midoriya izuku #bakugou katsuki #bakudeku #just a little bit #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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weekend-whip · 2 years

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I am so confused and in shambles dude. From what I've read so far (haven't finished the first book yet) your worldbuilding and characterizations are immaculate! How do you do it?? How would you recommend improving on that type of stuff?

(skdsfjdkjgj my own rewrite is just a mess of random stuff I have no idea how to write characters or properly worldbuild)

Aww thank you!! I dunno how to recommend straight up improvement when everyone’s got different approaches to how they write and how they want to write, buuuut this is kind of my thought process when approaching a project a big as a rewrite that you could try. *-*)9

...this also got a bit long, so I’mma gently tuck it under a cut:

-All those random tidbits you’ve already got, anything at all? WRITE EM DOWN, keep ‘em stored somewhere easily accessible! I’ve currently got like four pages dedicated just for all the small stuff I want to eventually include/scenes I MUST write. It’s good to have a few bare basics to look back on or reference when you’re not sure of how to tackle a scene or what direction you want to take a character/plot.

For example, maybe you want to demonstrate how Kai gradually grows to accept help over time: in what ways does he start to become more comfortable with his team? What moments will stand out as turning points? Or it could even be less specific stuff like “Scene where Nya talks to Zane”. At what point in the plot would that be good to insert? And what would have led up to that moment? Thinking about stuff like that from the get-go will always give you a place to start from, and keeps the ideas flowing. You can always change and tweak later as you develop!

-Outline a general direction of where you want to take the story overall! It can be detailed right down to every paragraph of every chapter, or just simply a “this is how it starts, this is where the middle is, and this is how it ends”. Just give yourself somewhere to start, then figure out how you want to get from Point A to Point B, and it’ll basically write itself! And then if you happened to get stuck going forward, it becomes easier to see where you’re stuck at. Sometimes you’ll have to cut something out because it isn’t flowing, sometimes you’ll have to add more because things aren’t making enough sense! Either way, doing this makes it easier to see potential problems in the plot before you write yourself into a corner (...which I have done a few times).

And if you do find yourself scrapping something, don’t get rid of it completely! Hang onto those ideas/scenes you once tried to include—there’s a good chance you may find another opportunity for them later down the line! It makes it so much less stressful than trying to rewrite from memory too. (Especially in the case where you find yourself overhauling an entire chapter...which I have done. Many times.)

-Make a master timeline of events! Extremely helpful when referencing things that happened in the past, and to sort out potential time-related plot holes before they can occur! (especially in the case of something like Ninjago). Knowing exactly how long ago something happened or how long an event goes on for will do wonders for maintaining consistency. Highly recommend. (I’ve actually got two documents for my timeline because it’s a LOT to keep track of)

-As for actually doing some world building, I must confess, a lot of mine didn’t even fully pop up until I actually began writing the sequel ahahaah. I just knew I wanted the ninja to be aware that their elements were inherited from the get-go, rather than all the way into Season 4...which then spawned the idea for the eye colors, and why it wasn’t common knowledge, and then the entire Elemental Compass came along (which I conceived on the fly, lol, all of that was not in my original design AT ALL), and then how the Guardians were involved, and then how the FSM played into all of that...and now I’ve got a baseline of lore to play with. I guess what I’m trying to say on this front is that sometimes, you don’t have to think so hard about the world-building until it becomes relevant, or until you’re forced to answer a big question like “Why is this the way it is?”

(...and ALL of the above snowballed for me JUST because I had to explain away why the general public and even the Ninja themselves wouldn’t have taken interest in Lloyd’s green eyes when they otherwise should have)

....but fi you’re looking for a more concrete answer, or just want some lore ready from the start, consider how society is structured in your universe. Is there a currency system, or do people barter for goods? Is there one collective language, or is there several, and why? What’s the geography like, is there a reason more people live in one area over another? Figuring out “base” things like that will help you maneuver the characters in the world you create. And in the case of Elemental Powers, well, I suppose that’ll depend on how deep you wanna take your rewrite. Is there an entirely new system for how it works, or are you going to pull from what’s already established (as tangled as it is asdfghj)?

-Characters are a bit trickier; for starters, I’d recommend rewatching the show (for the umpteenth time) to really get a feel for the characters’ mannerisms, speech patterns, and what they’re most likely to do in any given situation. For example, Zane’s obviously got a more posh and concise way of speaking, while Jay and Kai are far more casual and less direct (and the difference between those two is that Kai will often make the situation relevant to himself while Jay’s more prone to go off on a tangent about literally anything). Cole’s speech patterns, meanwhile, depend entirely on the current situation: he’s more firm when in the midst of a mission, but far less formal while chilling around.

Or, another interpretation of mine: when tackling a situation, Kai will almost always act on instinct, which can come off as impulsive depending on what it is. He only stops to think things through when he realizes he’s got the upper hand. Jay will tend to hang back until he sees an opportunity, then drives for it with all he’s got (or he’s otherwise forced to act). Zane will analyze a situation before making any big moves at all, and will adapt his strategy from there (and tends to be caught off guard often because he’s thinking too much). Cole will normally try to assess a situation if he can, but if he’s emotional to any degree, can prove to be just as impulsive as Kai or thought-distracted as Zane.

Something you could do to practice all this, or to find your own ‘flavor’ for the characters would be to write imaginary dialogue between them in any random situation you can come up with–what would they be saying to each other during a chase scene? Or around a dinner table? Or when they’re trying to comfort somebody? How would Kai approach the problem compared to Zane? How’s Jay going to react to it compared to Cole? They’re not always going to agree on everything immediately either, so how would a potential argument go where no one’s really in the wrong? It’s those little nuances that can really make characterization pop, and a lot of it happens subconsciously!

Another thing you can do is read, read, READ other people’s stories! Getting a feel for how others interpret the characters can give you some ideas too (or give you an idea of what you DON’T want to do, lol). But reading does help make it easier to envision a character’s voice when applied to the written word, so that way when you’re writing and trying to nail their nuance, you have something of a baseline to compare to. (A lot of my “baseline” so to speak comes from @/lloyd-skywalkers’ amazing fics and The Fantastic Mr. Walker, actually)

When it comes to applying these characters to your own design though, you’re going to have to extrapolate: you’ve got the basics of the character right in front of you, but there’ll be a time when you’ll have to put them in a situation they’ve never been in before, or feel emotions they haven’t shown a lot of on screen. For example, you’d think Kai would just be a constant ball of rage and frustation and yelling, but I personally have a tendency to make Kai cry far more often. Not as some ooc-replacement for his anger, but precisely because he’s so angry at things. It stems from the insane amount of pressure, standards, and expectations he puts on himself, and the results of how his life had been prior to being a ninja, and because of how much he just wants good things for the people he cares about (and yet, bad stuff just keeps happening). And that makes a least a little bit of sense, right? Technically nothing is out of character, as long as there’s a character-driven/related reason for why it’s happening. So my advice here is, don’t be afraid to see how far you can push with a character. You can achieve a goldmine of character moments by doing this!

AND....uh, I think that’s all I got, for now! Hope this helped even to the smallest degree, and good luck with your own rewrite!

(And if you’re looking for more general writing tips, check the tags! I’m not going to get into that stuff because fanfic allows us to break normal writing conventions and you can be free to explore whatever works for you!)

#legogeek33 #time to take my own advice and finish the sequel adsfghj #ask from nice people

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she-who-fights-and-writes · 3 years

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hi! I was wondering if you could do a post on how to write flashbacks?

How to Write Flashbacks

According to Literary Terms. Net, a flashback is “a device that moves an audience from the present moment in a chronological narrative to a scene in the past. Often, flashbacks are abrupt interjections that further explain a story or character with background information and memories.”

Flashbacks are a subject of contention among the literary community. There are two distinct sides, lovers and bashers, and I feel that both are wrong: Flashbacks have the capacity to be very good for a story or very bad. It all depends on how you write them. So here, have some tips!

1. Keep Them Short

People don’t want to read a ten-page flashback in the middle of the story. Flashbacks are notorious for being slow, and drive a wedge between the narrative and an invested reader if it’s not done properly. It’s better if you take a huge chunk of information and spread it out than to have a big dump in one place.

I don’t know your story, and I don’t know the importance of certain flashbacks in your story, but as a reader, I usually start getting tired of flashbacks around the two-page mark, sometimes shorter if they’re not particularly exciting.

Flashbacks are essentially an interruption, and you want interruptions in your story to be as unobtrusive as possible.

2. Don’t Put It In The Middle of the Action

Unless your flashbacks are PTSD-related and as a plot point are supposed to get in the way of the character trying to accomplish their goal, I highly suggest to never put flashbacks in the middle of the juicy parts. Your readers have been waiting for this buildup, this climax, this one kiss, and they will not be happy if a random memory sequence suddenly shows up.

If you truly have to put a flashback in there (i.e. PTSD, traumatic experience, sad memory, etc.), make it artistic by going line-by-line or phrase-by-phrase.

As the character is talking to people or fighting, they remember more and more of the terrible things that happened to them, with certain words in the conversation or certain actions in battle triggering certain memories. The split between regular spoken conversation/action and italicized flashback can be a great prose-shattering way to turn an info-dump into something more!

3. Cut Them When Necessary: Instead, Weave the Information into the Narrative

Flashbacks, although admittedly important and a good way to convey past events, are very intrusive to the narrative because they pluck the reader from one part of the story and dump them into another. That’s why it’s best if you save the flashback for something that is VERY important, something that cannot be portrayed in any other way.

Do you really need a flashback, or can you incorporate other aspects of storytelling to get the message across?

Here are some ways you can cut your line break flashbacks and weave them into the narrative instead:

Have a very long, very detailed flashback of a specific event that happened before the beginning of the story?

Write a Prologue instead! Prologues are at the very beginning of the story, and therefore are not an interruption to the narrative.

Pros: No interruption, places more importance on that specific event

Cons: People skip prologues, can make the story clunkier

Have no way of segueing into your flashback?

Make it a dream! Nothing like some night terrors to really get your character’s blood pumping.

Pros: Makes it less of an interruption than it would’ve been if split by a break

Cons: Cliché, Cannot be too detailed (must mimic the abnormality of a dream, can’t be just a straight-up memory)

Do you REALLY need a flashback, or can you just put it in prose?

If your character sees a seashell and is reminded of when they went to the beach with their dead mom, you probably don’t need a flashback for that unless something mentioned offhandedly in the flashback is used for foreshadowing a later revelation.

Don’t be afraid to use the words “recalled” and “remembered” A paragraph or two of a character revisiting a memory in real time beats a flashback any day!

Pros: No major interruption, more easily woven into the story

Cons: Has to be shorter, can’t be as detailed

Also reference the idea I described before of going line-by-line for your flashback instead of dumping huge paragraphs; quite literally weaving it into your story!

I really hoped this helped, and happy writing!

#writing #writing tips #writing advice #writing help #writeblr #booklr #writer #writers #flashbacks #writing flashbacks #literary terms #books #book #creative writing

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completeoveranalysis · 3 years

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Warning! This post contains spoilers up to chapter 170 of Tsubasa (and Chapter 71 of xxxHolic). Please skip this if you have not read that far.

Please also make no comments about what happens after that point in either manga.

OK SO HERE IS SPOOKY KUROFAI MARRIAGE PORTRAIT

The splash text reads: Shed blood and tears, without forgetting them, turn them into an existence.

Here is a link to my original post if you need the full context.

But here is the thing I said that just made me want to scream here in 2021, specifically in regards to that splash text:

"Incredibly motivating. It’s like the optimistic view of how things are when things are tough. The tough times are unavoidable a lot of the time, but you can and will get through them. You just have to make the choice to pick up the pieces and use them to construct a new future - which is never easy, but it’s the only way forward. For the dads, it’s both their past and their future. Kurogane has already gone through this; his life shattered and he used the pieces to forge a new identity and found new things to live for. For Fai, this is something he still needs to work on. He’s so used to running from his tragedy that he hasn’t yet figured out who he is beyond it. The “without forgetting them” is sort of a call out for him in that respect. You can’t grow by pretending they didn’t happen, or by pretending you’re a different person. Once he’s faced the pain and accepted that he’s alive and can continue living in a way that can make himself and others happy, then he’ll finally be moving forward."

IN WHICH.

LIKE.

I have no idea how anyone even reads this liveblog armed with knowledge of what happens next because APPARENTLY I JUST SAY THINGS that are VASTLY UNJUST and now I wilt away with the memory of what I thought of Fai back then.

I don't mean to give myself any undue credit here - I predicted none of Fai’s backstory. I had something completely different in mind when writing this, entirely based around the knowledge of Fai fleeing from Ashura with no context whatsoever about who Fai really was.

When you know where Fai came from? Oh my god.

Oh my god.

The words just toss my intended meaning out the window and dance around with the actual truth right in your face. Especially the “pretending you’re a different person” bit - I could never have predicted that Fai was using his brother’s namesake both as a way to eliminate himself from the world and to devote his life towards resurrecting his brother in his place. But HOT DAMN do these words ice skate in all the correct patterns without any knowledge of what the heck they could possibly mean in the end.

Also I'm in physical pain from the phrase: “without forgetting them” is sort of a call out for him in that respect." I know that past!me was thinking purely about Fai running away from confrontation with Ashura and pretending that he was fine and that everything was fine and that he could stay away from it all as long as possible. Things I did not know: That Fai's memories had been deliberately changed by two separate people to control the direction of his life. "Without forgetting them" is NOT a callout for Fai - Fai had no choice in that whatsoever (but they could still be a callout for ME for forgetting any of this plotline had ever happened oh my god). Fai was only ever running from Ashura with good intentions (ie, to NOT murder someone), and there was no way he could have known that his past had been rewritten to such a massive degree that it shaped the core of his personality for his entire life. And just as the splash text implies, it's only when he gets the CORRECT memories back that he can use them to forge a healthier and more accurate life moving forward.

A call out for Fai. Imagine. Past!me has so much to answer for.

I also want to revisit the bit where I said “once he’s faced the pain and accepted that he’s alive he can continue living in a way that can make himself and others happy, then he’ll finally be moving forward”, because this comes off entirely flippant now that I’m looking back on it.

My expectation for Fai’s potential trauma was somehow barely a tenth of what it really was in the end. And like, the idea I was getting at? Technically correct! But also only correct on the surface level. Fai didn’t need to just “confront his problems”. He needed to be completely stripped of the version of himself he had constructed from his false memories, worn down to the very core through reliving the worst parts of his life - and then shown how he was wrong about them. He was lied to his entire life, and so the goals he based his life around were aimed toward an abstracted version of reality. He was never going to be able to resurrect his brother, but he never could have known that without knowing that Ashura and Evil Wolverine had manipulated him and his memories every step of the way.

It's only when he can decipher this for himself that he can course correct - and it was only in taking the Original Fai completely out of the equation that Our Fai could finally begin to comprehend the idea of living for himself, and others, instead for fixing a mistake he never actually made in the first place.

So, yeah. “Once he’s faced the pain (of his past) and accepted that HE’S alive (and he’s allowed to be, because he never killed his brother) he can continue living in a way that can make himself and others happy” IS ACTUALLY ACCIDENTALLY CORRECT IN THE END.

I also want to point out that in the initial liveblog I never really discussed how Fai’s expression was relevant to this image, because I didn’t know exactly.

He’s smiling.

It's a small, gentle smile, but CLAMP really draw attention to it with the way he's looking off centre. Kurogane looks directly at the camera, but he's off centre - Fai is in the middle of the frame and he's vaguely looking elsewhere, head tilted in the wrong direction, as if he were looking towards Kurogane but seeing something else entirely.

The image itself was part of a series of splash pages where CLAMP were depicting the current state of the relationships between all of the main cast throughout the Infinity Arc (and it was glorious) and while I absolutely caught the fact that the relationship between Fai and Kurogane was intimate but strained, I didn’t know the context of Fai’s smile. His backstory shows us that Fai smiles as a way to make other people happy, because deep down he thinks this is the only possible value he can bring them - a smile is his only way of improving the world for the people around him, and his smile is the only thing he’s worth.

Here in the image Fai is partially draped over Kurogane but his distant look shows that he isn’t fully committed to the scenario - because before Seresu he could never be. As much as he liked Kurogane and allowed himself to get close to him, it was always always with the intention of him trading his life away for his brother’s at the end of the day. This is what caused the tension between them in the first place - when Kurogane made choices in Fai’s stead to keep him alive (in Acid Tokyo), he threatened Fai’s chance to trade his life for his brother’s, and so Fai distanced himself from Kurogane. Even if they fixed what they had between them, anything he had going with Kurogane could only ever be temporary until Fai could trade places with the real Fai.

And so Fai smiles - because any happiness he can give Kurogane and the others is all he’ll ever be worth. It's a temporary happiness that was never supposed to last or even exist in the first place.

And it’s not until we get OUT of Seresu that Fai finally has the opportunity to build himself from the ground up and start living for himself. For his own happiness and those around him.

And finally commit to the idea of being able to (and being WORTHY OF) making Kurogane happy in the long term.

Which is where we then get the punching scene in Nihon. And it’s perfect.

But OH BOY did past!me say some things that sounded correct but were utterly and completely wrong at every level.

#OOF #Leave me here this is all I’m going to talk about for years #FAI DID IT YOU GUYS HE GOT THERE IN THE END #The Fai in this splash page doesn’t exist anymore #AND NOT IN THE WAY FAI EXPECTED #UGHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH #Tsubasa Catch Up Chronicle #Catch Up T141 #Fai #We could also talk about #how Fai's cape is this messy waterfall of red #and all that symbolises #because his smile only hides so much trauma #and it all comes gushing out every time he allows himself to care about another person #let alone the fact that he thought HE was responsible for like #unimaginable amounts of bloodshed #but none of that was his fault either #HOW DID ANYONE READ A SINGLE THING I EVER SAID

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ddarker-dreams · 3 years

Note

i just wanted to say how much I love your work!! i hadn’t read any yandere fics since i was in middle school bc they were all poorly written and had the exact same troupes, until i somehow stumbled across your yandere kaeya and then i ended up reading through all your genshin fics and i love them!!

im considering starting a writing blog and i just wanted to know how you post so consistently while still having high quality pieces. writing one page that I’m satisfied with could take me days which I feel could be a potential issue if i start a blog.

also have you written/ do you plan on writing yan baizhu? i feel like he has alot of potential considering hes canonically manipulative and pretends to dote on qiqi when hes really just using her

thank you so much for writing and have a good day!!!

middle school is also around the time that i started getting into fanfic... those were wild days. the time for lemon/limes and author notes in the middle of the fic. looking back on the stuff that i wrote then makes me die a little on the inside, since i actually put it out there on the internet for all to see 😭

thank you for giving my work a chance!! i need to write more yandere kaeya. for some reason, i have a difficult time writing him? he has a lot of depth and i always worry i don't do his character justice.

onto your question... i would definitely encourage you to start a blog! as for writing consistently, based off of what you said, i think i'd recommend trying not to thoroughly edit/stop until a good chunk of the story is done. when i get caught up over not having the right description or whatever for something, i'll tend to dwell on it and lose my flow. i had to learn to stop being overly harsh on myself until the first draft is Complete. if you need to, make a note of what you want to fix, then come back to it!

just write without strict regard for the specifics. it'll probably look a little bare bones, but that's fine, you're getting through and setting up the foundation. once a majority of it is done, that's when you comb through and get more intentional on fine-tuning the details.

i also don't always write things in chronological order for longer fics. for example, when working on the first contract, the original thing looked smth like this:

[Establish Liyue/lead into Vephar's introduction]

ii.

[Rex Lapis and God Darling's first interactions, start casual, lead into tension. Establish God Darling's lack of interest in the Archon War/troubles of the time].

iii.

[God Darling walking, heartbroken. Thinks about their memories with [Placeholder]. Guilt, so much guilt, and regret. A God who failed their people].

iv.

[Sex scene lol]

[Back to current Liyue. Things have mellowed out (?) Rex Lapis goes by Zhongli now. God Darling is free to express some displeasure. Zhongli still has his limits on what he'll allow. Loop back into sentence from the start...]

throughout the entire time i was skipping between whatever part interested me most hrtjekgrm i'd work on four a bit, then go back to two, so on and so forth. minmaxing to get the most out of my motivation. i'd keep filling stuff out until i had things roughly where i wanted them.

i hope this helps some!! please feel free to hit me up if you have anymore questions. i have no idea how helpful any of my ramblings actually are.

as for yan baizhu, i've written a little something for him here 👀

#not sfw #writing advice #answered #Anonymous

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gyusbambi · 3 years

Text

trapped; chenle

genre: angsty fluff, dark academia, arranged marriage, pianist chenle, literature student y/n

note: hello, everyone. i just wanted to let you know that this is my first writing on tumblr and english is not my first language. therefore i am sorry if there are mistakes. also this might not be that good. still, i hope you will enjoy this and it’d mean a lot to me if you could like or give feedback? my chats are always open if you want to say anything. have fun!

words: 7,6k

“it’s time for you to get married.”

complete silence dominates in your father‘s old-fashioned work room, where you stand in front of his wooden desk with a confused expression. lines form between your eyebrows as you slightly tilt your head to the side, expecting your dad to continue talking. however, the old man seems rather unbothered as he simply flicks through his folder with documents. anxious about his frightening statement, your glance darts around the dark room. you take a quick look at the portraits of long forgotten people hanging on the walls, as if you could get an answer from them. dark brown wallpapers, a wooden rocking chair in the corner, antique curtains, a huge bookshelf and a beige vintage sofa decorate your father’s work room.

taking a deep breath and letting it out again slowly, you finally are brave enough to look up at him. still, you nervously tap your fist against your right thigh, opening and closing your mouth several times before forming words: “w-what do you mean it’s time for you to get married?”

you scold yourself internally for lightly stuttering. however, the man in front of you pauses before looking up with a look of puzzlement: “what part of it don’t you understand?”

“i’m only 18!”

an exaggerated sigh leaves his mouth while he crosses his arms and leans against his chair, “i thought we’ve already talked about this, y/n.”

“you’re right. we’ve talked about this once.” slowly getting irritated with every second passing by, you can’t help but raise your voice.

rubbing the brow as if to ward off a headache your father replies with a sharpening tone:

“look, young lady. i’m pretty sure you are aware of the importance of business relationships. if we want to grow successfully, we need to take this wonderful opportunity and get closer to the na’s.”

with disappointment you look down, chin almost dipping to your chest. after that you close your eyes for a moment. once again you feel trapped. sadly, you’ve felt so miserably hopeless over the years, as if you were locked in a cage. never have you experienced the feeling of freedom. you almost envy the several birds flying past your window every night. they seemed so carefree, enjoying every bit of freedom. on the contrary, you always have to follow your father‘s orders - from the way you act to the man you have to marry.

“you’ll get married to na jaemin, the son of mister na. he’s a kind gentlemen. it’s the best for you, my daughter.”

finally breaking the silence, your father speaks up while trying to make eye contact with you. whereas you try to avoid his eyes as much as possible in order to hide your teary ones. as much as you want to conceal your discouraged emotions, your hopeless eyes eventually meet the cold ones of the old man and you say one last thing with your shaky voice before finally leaving his room: “when will you ask me what i want?”

the library is the place where you find joy and peace. several bookshelves filled with various literature, beautiful framed windows, beige tones as well as the slight darkness creeping in your academies library cause you to ease up on your terrible thoughts. besides the calming atmosphere, you couldn’t miss out on the smell of books or the sound of raindrops falling outside.

books help you get lost in your own dreams, in your own fantasy. they distract you from your awful reality you so desperately want to avoid. therefore, you once again find yourself sitting at the back of the academy library with a novel placed on the desk. while flipping through the pages, you remember why you‘re there in the first place. obviously you have to confess you‘re a coward. a person shamelessly running away from their problems, while their whole life is falling apart.

after a while you finish the novel are way too excited to start the next book on your literature list. satisfied with the atmosphere in the library you leave your seat to make your way to your favorite section. in fact, that section wasn’t exactly located in the library but in the room right next to it. it was separated from the other sections and even had a piano placed in the middle of it. most of the time that area seemed empty, leaving only you searching for your favorite books.

when you eventually enter the room, you don’t see what you expected. instead of an empty place filled with complete quietness, you find a young man sitting in front of the piano. he plays beautiful tones, his look absolutely focused on the keys. for a moment, you are taken aback. instead of moving forward, you stand there like frozen. curiously, you take a closer look at the person running his fingers lightly over the keys. the young man seems so concentrated, so passionate and calm, he doesn’t even notice you standing right next to the door. he has dark hair, his bangs slightly covering his forehead. his skin seems soft and light. somehow it reminds you of snow, so clear and pure. he wears a black blazer with a white button up underneath.

certainly, you have never seen this man in the academy before. moreover you know that nobody really plays the piano in this neglected part of the library. therefore you are surprised, amazed as well, not only from his piano skills but also from his appearance.

it is only a few seconds later, when the pianist’s dark eyes leave the keys only to meet yours. a beat skips. at first he keeps on playing but soon it comes to an end. therefore a strained silence settles, while you two just stare into each other’s eyes. the eyes you were longing to look up were round and dark like the night. no single sound can be heard. only your heartbeat in your chest which speeds up. everything else stops existing. it’s only the two of you. yet, soon enough you start to worry. why can’t you focus on anything else? why can’t words leave your mouth? with the strained silence still taking over the room you blink a few times and get aware of the strange situation. before the pianist takes the chance to speak, your feet quickly move towards the specific bookshelf which is placed a little further from the piano. with your heart still beating like a drum, your fingers run over the old books on the shelf. at the same time you hide from the young man, who strangely makes you feel nervous.

you expect the pianist to continue playing. however, the room is still filled with quietness. shortly after you hear footsteps. maybe he left?

before you can distract yourself even more, your eyes scan through the books in front of you. when you finally spot the one you were looking for, you instantly reach for it. as you grab the book from the shelf, you spot someone through the gap between the books. there he is, on the other side of the same bookshelf, his fingers running over several novels. instantly your eyes meet and the familiar feeling starts growing in you again. surprised, you pull your book tight against your chest. neither of you say a word, which starts to make you nervous. however, a small smile appears on the pianist’s face as he grabs a certain book from the shelf, his eyes never leaving yours while doing so. as a result, you attempt to avert your gaze in order to hide the sudden shyness, but the rosiness of your cheeks give it away. in the end it’s just you standing there, watching him leave the room with the book in his right hand.

it’s the next day and you can’t deny that you’ve been thinking about the mysterious pianist from the library. the memory of him playing the piano or gazing at you through the bookshelf is enough for you forget about the uncomfortable situation you currently find yourself in.

“...right, y/n?”

your father’s sudden voice brings you back to reality. renjun, your best friend, nudges you from your right side in attempt to draw your attention. unfortunately, you didn’t pay attention to the conversation your father was having with the people sitting in the same room as you. instead you preferred to doze off by replaying the same scenes from yesterday in your head over and over again. several seconds pass, yet you still can’t seem to reply while you push the food around on your plate.

“y/n?” your dad calls your names once again.

with huge embarrassment you finally look up to find him slightly glaring at you with disapproval in his narrowed eyes.

“hm?” first you pretend to have unheard him, yet soon his glaring basically forces you to continue after clearing your throat nervously,

“i-i’m so sorry, i wasn’t paying attention.”

“of course you weren’t.” jaemin scoffs playfully yet so quietly that apparently you are the only one who hears him. completely annoyed with his actions, you can’t help but give him a hateful glare. after that you feel renjun’s hand on yours under the table, trying to calm you down.

renjun, you, both of your fathers and the na’s are currently sitting on the same table for dinner. obviously, they so desperately wanted you and jaemin to get along. however, his annoying behavior and your lack of interest cause the complete opposite.

“that’s understandable, y/n. you must be stressed out from all the exams. our jaemin is going through the same thing.” mister na says with a caring tone and offers you a smile.

“actually, i’m not-”

“i heard you study literature! that sounds quite interesting. in fact, jaemin is into books too. he spends the whole day in the library, you know.” jaemin can’t finish his sentence when his father doesn’t hesitate to interrupt him.

“would you look at that! y/n is exactly the same.” your dad laughs while patting your shoulder which leads you to smile awkwardly. all you want in that moment is to escape.

clearly nobody in this room is actually interested in what you do. only attempting to bring you two closer. involving jaemin in every single matter made it obvious enough. you like reading? jaemin does too! perfect, just marry each other already!

it is true that you see jaemin in the library almost every single day. besides that, you are pretty sure that he helps around there as well. usually you two would simply pass by each other without greeting. sometimes jaemin would sit near your table, eyes shifting towards you once in a while. at the dinner table you eventually glance at him with curiosity, only to find him already looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“i heard family zhong has returned? his youngest is already attending the academy...”

now everyone is engrossed in their own conversations again, enabling renjun to talk to you. your friend leans in, sliding a chair closer. head tilting to the side, eyebrows slightly furrowed, he speaks up with a soft voice:

“what’s wrong with you?”

“nothing. why?” you shrug, attempting to hide your lack of concentration.

“nothing?” renjun repeats your words with a questioning voice,

“tell me one thing you picked up on this conversation.”

with arms crossed in front of his chest he patiently waits for you to answer. resigned, you sigh before facing him eventually,

“yesterday i was in the piano room and there was someone who played the piano.”

“so?” renjun chuckles after the short silence.

“the thing is i have never seen him before. in the academy i mean.”

“he must be a new student then.”

“probably. he-” you trail off suddenly, the scene of his eyes meeting yours for the first time appearing in your mind.

“what? was he attractive?” renjun jokes with amusement while bumping shoulders with you.

however, when you don’t seem to reply, he almost chokes on his food with widen eyes,

“don’t tell me you fell for a stranger.”

shaking your head you look away from renjun with red cheeks.

“no, renjun,” your groan,

“it just felt different when we saw each other.” you remember that moment precisely which causes a fluttering in your stomach.

suddenly, renjun throws his head back in a bray of laughter while grabbing at his ribs like he has a stitch in his side at the same time. everyone turns their head to the laughing boy sitting next to you. soon, he covers his mouth with a hand to hide his amusement before apologizing politely.

“what the hell, renjun, are you out of your mind?” you whisper angrily.

“i couldn’t help it. how can i not when you literally sound like a fourteen-year-old girl crushing on someone for the first time.”

“the only thing i tried to explain you was that he looked- he looked alright but that’s not what i was trying to tell you- stop it!” you stutter while moving your hands in attempt to express yourself but punch your friend’s chest when he can’t keep a straight face.

“what’s so funny, huang?” jaemin asks with a raised eyebrow.

“oh, i just remembered how you call mark lee your oppa.” renjun smirked. you press your lips together to hold your laugh.

finally the family dinner comes to an end which enables you to breathe again. renjun waves at you with a worried smile when you leave with your father. just as much as you, your friend is completely unhappy with you forcefully getting engaged to na jaemin.

at the dinner table he told you about the new student from one of the richest families returning to the academy. apparently that certain person studies music and is known for his incredible voice. jaemin, on the other hand, chose not to talk much, besides leaving a few teasing comments now and then.

like always the neglected area of the library is completely empty. the utter silence is nothing new to you. everything remains the same in that specific room, yet one certain matter seems remarkable. truly speaking, you are a little upset when you don’t spot the particular pianist in front of the old piano. instantly you try to avoid the unfulfilled expectations in your head. they make you feel foolish, silly, delusive. how could you let yourself fall into your peculiar fantasy once again? perhaps your father is right when he claims that the books you read influence your expectations on the real world.

letting out a sigh, your hands brush over your dark green dress while your eyes scan through the rest of the library. instead of leaving that room, you spontaneously decide to try and play the piano yourself. after you take a seat, your fingers run over the cold keys. there happens to be a little dust, which you quickly brush away. at that moment, the memory of you playing the instrument for the first time appears in your head. you remember precisely how your beautiful mother wrapped her arm around your shoulder, the other hand over your small one. she placed your fingers on the right keys and gave you a loving smile before finally pressing them. although she had shown you multiple times, you still preferred to watch her play it herself. unfortunately, you never actually learned how to play it, since after your mother’s death, you haven’t dared to play it ever again. yet here you are, sitting in front of that specific instrument with absolute cluelessness.

a few minutes pass and you still sit in the same spot, pressing random keys on the piano. while doing so, images of your mother appear in your head. right when you are about to give up and leave the abandoned room, suddenly the sound of someone clearing their throat catches your attention. startled you snap your head to the sound of a stranger only to find the young man, you were admittedly longing to meet, standing at the entrance. the sight of him causes you to let out a small gasp. when you don’t speak, the pianist becomes uneasy.

“am i interrupting you?” he asks with his finger pointing to the piano, his eyebrows slightly raised while waiting for your answer.

"no! no, i was just playing around.” you nervously chuckle before looking down at the instrument in front of you, unable to meet the eyes of the stranger.

“ah,” he nods understandingly, “do you usually practice here?”

you shake your head, eyes not leaving the piano, “i can’t play. normally i’m here for the books.”

“true.” he mumbles, keeping his head down. you fail to notice the small smile creeping across his face.

chenle remembers perfectly how he spotted you on the other side of the same bookshelf. the small space between the books enabled him to glance at you. the sight of you holding your book tightly against your chest with red cheeks was enough for him to smile with amusement.

“i mean i kinda caught you playing random tones.” he rubs the back of his neck without making eye contact.

you can’t help but let out a quiet laugh, “you can admit that i’m miserable.”

“practice is the key. mind if i join you?”

“sure!” you respond a little to fast.

eventually the young pianist takes a seat next to you and places his hand on the keys. it doesn’t take him long to start playing a beautiful melody, making it look so effortless and easy. you are more than impressed when he finishes the short play and turn his head to face you.

“you’re really good!” you compliment when your eyes leave the piano keys to meet the ones of the stranger. his smile widens when suddenly an idea pops up in his head,

“thank you. do you want me to teach you a little?”

“that would be great.” you nod as you give him a thankful glance.

in a matter of fact, there has always been this desire to play piano deep inside you. with the hope that maybe, just maybe, a connection between you and your beloved mother could develop. when you think about it, it’s almost like the young pianist knows what you have been thinking about. even the simplest melody would make you satisfied. perhaps, the complete stranger could help you build a connection between your mother and you. somehow, he looks into your eyes a little longer, as if he’s trying to read you, before eventually focusing on the piano again.

“alright, so let’s start off with the notes.”

suddenly he slides closer to you in order to wrap his right arm around your shoulder and places his warm hand on your cold, small one. your skin tingles from the sudden contact of his skin with yours.

“now you need to...”

nervously you just stare at your hands on the piano, unable to meet the eyes of the young pianist, who sits way too close to you. you can feel the soft fabric of his blazer on your right arm. his knee touches yours under the piano. you can also feel his breath on your neck when he explains how to play the instrument. however, you can’t focus on what he’s saying. you imagine what would happen if you look up at him.

“... you still here?” the young man chuckles and you feel embarrassment when you realize that he must have noticed your lack of concentration.

when you look up to give him an answer, the closeness of his face makes you forget what you wanted say. again, you feel your face reddening.

the young man himself, is flustered as well when he notices rosiness on your cheeks. he is totally taken back by your long lashes, your beautiful eyes and your cherry tinted lips. besides that he really likes your sweet scent.

“i’m sorry! i zoned out a little.” you admit while you look into his eyes.

“that’s okay. we can try again!”

you take the nice offer and he teaches you one more time.

almost an hour passes, when you find yourself sitting in the library with the mysterious pianist, talking about several topics. for you, it’s great to have someone who communicates about books, music, art or theories, instead of business, money or work.

you both talk about your majors in the academy and you find out that the pianist, surprisingly, studies music. after you mention that you’re a literature student, he gets quite excited. with interest he wants to know more about it and expects you to talk more about it.

it’s when you two laugh about the ridiculous history professor, when suddenly your closest, and only friend, renjun enters the room with a worried expression on his face. however, his face changes to shocked, when he spots you and the stranger sitting on a table near the window.

“y/n, are you here? na jaemin wants to-”, he trails off before raising his eyebrows,

“zhong chenle?! what are you doing here?”

“renjun-ssi! aren’t you excited to see me?” the boy next to me tilts his head slightly with confusion and you notice the playful frown on his face.

“dude, i didn’t know you already arrived.” renjun doesn’t talk much but pulls the other boy in for a hug.

this is zhong chenle? the boy from a rich family who returns to the academy?

“i missed you, man.” chenle pats renjun’s back.

yet, renjun pulls back only to hit his shoulder playfully,

“why didn’t you let me know? since when are you here, huh?”

“i’m sorry, hyung. these days are very stressful for everyone, you know?”

renjun nods understandingly and finally pays attention to you, trying to hide the fact that he forgot that you are here too.

“you are zhong chenle?” you question with a confused voice as you furrow your eyebrows while pointing to him.

chenle sighs before nodding, “yes. that’s me.”

“y/n probably expected you to act like a rich snob.” renjun chuckles before you cough and send him a glare.

“hold on, don’t tell me the mysterious pianist you’ve been tal-”, before your friend can finish his sentence, you abruptly stand up in order to slap your hand on his mouth,

“shut up, renjeon.” you mumble, knowing renjun despises this specific nickname, originally created by na jaemin.

“are you two friends?”

“yes, we happen to be friends.” you answer while renjun gives you an annoyed look, still offended by the way you decided to call him,

“in fact, i’m your only friend.”

you are used to his odd behavior and decide to ask him something that has been in your mind since he came into the library,

“were you looking for me?”

“oh, right.”, renjun remembers and shakes his head to focus, “apparently na jaemin has something to talk about.”

the uncomfortable feeling appears again. soon you decide to leave the two boys and say goodbye before making your way to your fiance, na jaemin.

soon it turns out that na jaemin wants to talk to you about your upcoming marriage. of course, this matter makes you annoyed. for a certain reason jaemin seems to be serious about the whole situation. the young boy never fails to impress everyone by his charm, looks and intelligence. more important than that, he never disappoints his family. always coming up with the best ideas for their company, developing relationships with important people and giving his best in the academy. yet, you are quite confused when you find out that na jaemin wants to marry you. even in a situation like this, he can’t risk disappointing his family?

however, you certainly don’t care about his image and for sure won’t accept to be a part of his family.

“look, y/n, i know you don’t want this. trust me, i don’t want this either but it’s the best for us-”

“i don’t care about what’s best for us, this is my life and i should at least be allowed to decide if i want to marry.”

“would you stop being so selfish for once?” jaemin hissed.

“selfish?” you scoff, “i pity you, na jaemin. all you care about is how others think of you. i will never marry you.”

you once again you find yourself in one of your favorite places. this time it isn’t the peaceful library, but the flower garden. indeed, you adore the lovely smell of several flowers and the view of the scenery while you sit on the fresh grass, enjoying every bit of nature. just like the library, this place radiates peace. with a smile on your face you look around, checking if anyway was watching. when you don’t see anyone, you happily pick up some daisies - they’re your favorite.

from the building in front of the flower garden, chenle spots you through the window. the young pianist pushes the curtains further to the side as he watches you pick up a few flowers. you’re wearing a long sleeved white dress which reaches just above your knees. whenever he observed you, he saw a confused, worried and slightly shy girl. however, now that he looks at you, you seem like the happiest.

chenle doesn’t even notice a smile creeping across face, as he continues staring at you. he even considers walking downstairs just to meet you. as a matter of fact, the previous day keeps popping up in his mind. he enjoyed the moment he shared with you in the library: how his hand was placed on your soft one, how the redness appeared on your cheeks, how you talked about music and literature. desperately wanting the feeling of his rapid heartbeat to appear again, he doesn’t think twice before running towards the flower garden.

instead of greeting you he decides to walk up to you until there was only a few inches left between you. unawarely, you look at the flowers in your hand with keeping your head down. while doing so, you fail to notice chenle lowering his head slowly, almost touching your right shoulder. however, when the young man eventually whispers a hello in your ear, you let out a yelp and jump before turning around.

suddenly you are met with chenle standing right in front of you, your bodies almost touching. shocked by his sudden appearance, your eyes widen and your feet stumble over his. for a moment you close your eyes as you lose your balance and feel yourself fall. yet, before your back hits the ground, chenle is able to wrap his arm around your waist, holding you there, safe from falling. your fists are pressed against his chest, the daisies completely squeezed in your sweaty hand.

once your eyes meet his, a heavy feeling in your stomach appears. at the sudden contact of his body with yours, you feel your skin tingle. soon your pale face turns as red as the roses in the flower garden.

“woah there, did i scare you that much?” chenle chuckles as he looks into your eyes with amusement. you can feel his chest rising slightly while he does so.

for a moment you can’t find the right words as you try to avoid making eye contact as much as possible. after glancing around as if you‘re looking for an exit or escape, you finally look back to the pianist before speaking,

“why did you do that?”

“for fun.” he shrugs with a small smirk,

“what are you doing here anyway?” chenle asks although he already knows the answer.

“i wanted to walk around a little and... i also picked up some daises, i guess.” you mumble the last part, as your eyes leave his to look at the squished flowers in your hand, still in the same position,

“and you?” you ask, eyes moving back to his face,

“what are you doing in the flower garden?”

now it’s chenle’s turn to look for the right words. somehow, he does not want to admit that the only reason he came here was you.

now that he also notices that your bodies are still attached to each other, his arm around your waist while your hands lay on his chest, the situation seems to get difficult for him. with his heartbeat fastening, he clears his throat to answer the question. however, before he can even open his mouth, you take a step back slowly, your hands now swinging by your sides.

it is stupid how you both fail to notice the redness on each other’s cheeks.

“s-sorry.” you stutter as your eyes focus on his chest.

chenle raises his eyebrows, “no! it’s not your fault, i-”

“i mean the flowers,” you interrupt him as you point to the daises sticking to his sweater.

the pianist immediately looks down and can’t help but laugh at the sight of daisies pressed against his chest.

soon you both sit on the grass and talk about this and that. you have no idea how you ended up in this position, but your head rests on chenle’s thigh, his hand playing with your soft hair, while you look up to the sky.

“what do you want to do after academy?” chenle asks and starts playing with the daisies you had pressed against his chest before.

nobody has asked you this question before, not even your own father.

what do you want?

no, it is always you following your dad’s rules. not even once you have had the chance to decide for yourself. in fact, your whole life is entirely planned by other people.

what are you supposed to answer? that you will forcefully get married to a successful man you don’t want, and follow him around everywhere?

“i want to become a journalist.” you reply instead. with chenle, you want to talk about your dreams.

he looks at you with surprised eyes, “that sounds awesome! i can tell you’ll be successful.”

“you think so?” with a small, delighted smile you lean in a little.

“of course! your writing is excellent, you show so much passion and you’re quite ambitious. not to mention you pay attention to detail.” he braids the daisies in your hair but you don’t even realize, completely taken back by his words.

chenle smiles, unable to meet your eyes. he remembers how you couldn’t stop talking about writing and reading with so much excitement in your eyes. how you envy the lives of main characters because they seem to exciting, whereas yours is boring and somber.

“thank you, chenle. this means a lot to me.”

his eyes land on you and he finds you smiling with joy. this makes him happy and he can’t deny the butterfly in his stomach caused by that smile of yours.

little did he know, this was only the beginning.

somehow chenle and you start meeting each other more and more. the both of you keep seeing each other in the library and end up studying together. sometimes you write names of several flowers on his wrist, while he writes song lyrics on yours. you introduce chenle to many novels and he likes to play the piano for you. sadly, you fail to notice him peeking through the book he’s reading only to watch rays of the sun shine on your face.

in the flower garden, you usually lay next to each other, watching the clouds on the bright sky. every so often, you rest your head on his leg while he runs his hand through your hair. both of you pick up different flowers everyday and take them home. chenle even makes flower-crowns and you put daisies in his shirt pocket. yet, once again, you don’t notice him staring at you while you are busy observing the birds flying in the sky.

nevertheless, you catch sight of a rosiness on his cheeks every time you happen to look in his eyes a little longer than usual.

or how he casually holds your hand while you study in the library, his thumb running over yours.

or how he glances at your lips once in a while, thinking you’re too focused on fixing the collar of his jacket.

you are sure of your feelings for the pianist. however, you are unsure about his feelings. perhaps, he only sees you as a friend? what if you embarrass yourself in front of him? because of this, you decide not to say anything and continue hopelessly spending time with the music student, who you adore more than anything. in a matter of fact, it just makes sense falling for him.

unfortunately, it just seems so impossible to be with him, especially because you are engaged to someone else. chenle doesn’t know about your upcoming marriage with na jaemin and you have no clue when you should tell him.

however, that day comes sooner than you thought it would.

it’s when you both walk home from another study session at the library. before you turn around to leave chenle, you wave at him with a bright smile on your face. yet, it doesn’t take him long to call your name which causes you to turn around. with a questioning face you turn to face him and wait for him to continue.

“i need to tell you something.”

the nervousness on his face is impossible for you to not notice. the way his hands slightly tremble, his ears turning into a red color and him gulping make you worry.

and that’s when you choose to tell him. the moment just seems perfect and if not now, then when?

“me too,” you say,

“i have to tell you something really important.”

“well, then you go first.” chenle rubs his neck while avoiding your eyes.

you draw your mouth into a tin line and press your lips together before taking a deep breath and finally answer,

“i’m engaged to na jaemin.”

of course, you are so overwhelmed and nervous that you fail to notice chenle’s face fall. his stomach drops as he stares into your eyes so deeply.

why would you say that right when he was about to confess?

but perhaps it was better this way. things between you would be very weird, if he confessed his feelings. still, he feels terrible. the girl he has been loving the whole time is engaged to somebody else.

“it was my father’s decision, not mine.” you try to meet chenle’s eyes but he looks away,

“oh, i see. that’s... great? congratulations.”

“what did you want to tell me?” you try to change the topic since you suddenly feel uncomfortable.

“me? ugh-,” the boy in front of you is slightly panicked, attempting to find a possible response,

“nothing important haha.” chenle tries to laugh it off.

you frown, “are you sure?”

he just nods, not able to form the right words.

“alright but i need to tell you something else. i’m aware that this might not be the right time or place, after what i just said, but i just need to tell you-”

right when you want to reveal your feelings for the young pianist, you hear a voice calling his name. his father is calling him, and he has to leave.

“sorry, y/n. see you at the ball.”

the next day you get ready for the dance, which takes place near your academy. in fact, it’s the most important dance out of all of them. pretty much all families are invited, including yours of course. unfortunately, you are aware that parents tend to play cupid in order to bring their children together. in this case, your father puts effort into his appearance and also gives you an expensive dress.

when you finally arrive at the ball your eyes immediately find the man you so hardly fell for. simply he stands there, a drink in his right hand, eyes shining while talking to your friend huang renjun. chenle is wearing a velvet burgundy suit which makes you feel dizzy.

however, during that night, you notice how chenle avoids you. whenever you try to approach him, he finds someone else to talk. whenever you walk towards his direction, he turns around immediately and walks away. now and then you glance at him from distance and when he finally turns his head to your direction and meets your eyes, he looks away in milliseconds.

even so, renjun eventually meets you and it’s his turn to play cupid. right after he greets you with a huge smile, he grabs your arm and leads you to where chenle is currently standing, thankfully alone.

after you both awkwardly greet each other, renjun decides to check on his other friend lee donghyuck. right when you are ready to talk to chenle, suddenly na jaemin shows up in the same room. apart from that people around you start to dance with their partner. it doesn’t take you long to realize that jaemin, your fiancé, is walking towards you.

he wants to dance with me.

your gaze flits around the room, never settling on a person or object for long as you plan an escape in your head. finally chenle decides to speak to you when the young boy notices your nervous behavior,

“what’s wrong?”

immediately you grab onto him, refusing to let go:

“i have to leave. now.”

“what? why?”, chenle watches you with curious eyes until you eventually make eye contact with him.

there is a tightness in your chest when you play with your fingers nervously,

“na jaemin is coming our way because he wants to dance with me. don’t look.”

although you clearly warned chenle so that he could avoid your narcissistic fiance, he still looks behind you curiously.

“i said don’t look!” you speak through your teeth with forced restraint.

“why don’t you dance with him? he’s your fiancé after all.” the pianist only ignores your words, more interested in your feelings for the young man called na jaemin.

“i don’t want to dance with him because i don’t like him. it’s my dad’s decision, not mine. remember?”, you sigh while looking for a way to escape.

“then dance with me.”

all of the sudden chenle’s right hand grabs your waist, pulling you really close to him. after that his other hand takes yours which makes you let out a small gasp. with confusion your eyes widen, not believing the situation you find yourself in. nervously, you gulp when he looks down to you with a small smirk on his face. instantly your cheeks turn a darker shade of red, eyes not leaving his beautiful dark ones. chenle’s hands on your body make the butterflies appear in your stomach once again, your heart races and you aren’t exactly bothered by the familiar feeling until you notice your surroundings.

all the guests in the room are focused on you both, whispering to each other with surprised faces. even the couples dancing are shocked by zhong chenle dancing with y/n, who’s already engaged to na jaemin, that they end up stepping on each other’s feet. your fiancé himself is just standing there with an angry expression, eyes not leaving zhong chenle, who dares to dance with you.

“chenle, w-what are you doing?” your tongue gets tangled when you attempt to whisper.

he shrugs, “i want to dance with you.”

your right hand holds into his shoulder while the other one squeezes his hand,

“everyone is watching us. are you sure this is a good idea?”

“they’re just jealous you’re dancing with the most handsome man in the room.”

chenle’s sudden change in behavior makes you frown and step on his foot intentionally. however, he only tightens his grip on your waist and pulls you even closer as you continue to dance with each other,

“oh. is this better?”

the feeling of his soft hands on the fabric of your dress makes your skin tingle. how could he pull you close to him so easily?

the music plays in the background when you are too focused on his face, now only a few inches apart from yours. you have difficulty focusing on your steps due to the sudden lightheadedness which leads you to stumble and step on chenle’s foot once again.

he smirks, playfully shaking his head: “you want me even closer?”

your eyes widen when he bends down to whispers in your ear,

“we’re in public, y/n.”

you think it’s the end for you when you feel his warm breath on your neck which makes your heart nearly explode in your chest but he just looks into your eyes deeply, his lips forming a smile when he notices the rosiness on your cheeks,

“do i make your heart flutter?”,

he only chuckles at your cuteness, completely unaware of your feelings for him.

“you wish.” you manage to say after clearing your throat, your eyes now on the people dancing around you.

after that he spins you around just to catch you in his arms again: “i wish.”

at that exact moment, when you both stare into each other’s eyes deeply with love and attraction, everything and everyone around you seems to disappear. all at once the music in the background, the sound of people laughing and the people themselves stop existing. chenle holds you in his arms, his grip on your waist tightening even more, his face really close to you. there’s a fluttering in his stomach when his gaze falls on your soft, rosy lips. you do the same when you notice his eyes on your lips and none of you dare to say anything. yet, you blink a few times before deciding to express your feelings for the pianist,

“chenle, i-”

out of the blue na jaemin dares to interrupt you and the popular zhong. swiftly he pulls you out of chenle’s grip by grabbing your arm. surprised by his sudden actions, you watch jaemin glare angrily at the boy in front of him, hand not letting go of your arm.

“what do you think you’re doing, zhong?”, jaemin speaks carefully in a controlled tone, trying to remain calm. however, you don’t fail to notice his fist pounding against his thigh lightly.

“who are you to tell me what to do?” chenle laughs annoyed.

“i’m her fiancé, you asshole.”

“then maybe you should ask your fiancée what she thinks of you. i bet you already know, right? things can’t always go your way, jaemin-ssi.”

after snapping at him, chenle pulls you ouf of jaemin’s grip and leads you out of there.

it is your wedding day. although you could never believe that in the end of the day you’ll have to get married to a complete stranger, you now observe yourself in front of the mirror, hair falling down your shoulders perfectly, make-up done, pearls around your neck and the heavy dress on your body. you absolutely hate your reflection, your eyes still puffy from crying the previous night. the soreness in your throat makes you feel even more uncomfortable. nonetheless you have to marry na jaemin in a few minutes.

after chenle left the ball with you, he confessed his feelings for you. therefore, you told him about your feelings as well. that moment was incredibly magical to you, yet also quite stressful. needless to say, you talked about your engagement with the other male and chenle told you to not worry about it. he told you that he would certainly find a way. however, unfortunately, nothing happened till your wedding day. you both met each other secretly now and then, sharing kisses in the neglected library when chenle played the piano but got distracted by you.

by all means you enjoyed spending time with your lover but had to admit that you got more worried every day. zhong chenle promised you he’d never leave you but now you enter the big room, where people watch you walk towards the other side of the room. you want to cry, run away, scream. how could chenle just leave you like this?

right when you are about to take jaemin’s hand and give in, the gates suddenly open which catches everyone’s attention. there he is, completely out of breath from the running, eyes looking for yours. soaked from the heavy rain, he runs his hand through his wet hair. your eyes widen when he runs towards you. the guests gasp as he reaches for your hand and stares into your eyes deeply,

“come with me, y/n.”

not knowing what do, you raise your eyebrows and continue looking at the young man in front of you. before your father can burst out in anger, chenle swiftly grabs your arm and starts running. you hear everyone in the room gasp and panic, na jaemin calling your name several times. nevertheless, you run away with your lover, nearing the huge gates which lead to an exit. while rushing towards his horse, your long dress gets dirty from all the rain.

“you came!”, you manage to say with excitement, while running.

“of course i came! i told you i’d never leave you!”

“what are we doing now?”

“we’re running away from here, love. i know i-” chenle trails off for a moment, still breathless from running the whole time,

“i haven’t talked to you about this but you have to trust me. i planned everything. is that okay with you?”

chenle jumped on his horse and offers a hand to you. eventually you nod without thinking twice and get on the horse.

before you both leave, he turns around to you slightly, his eyes staring into yours with so much love before his hands caress your face. your hurt flutters when his lips touch yours, your eyes closing immediately. breaking the kiss, he tucks your hair behind your ear,

“i love you, y/n.”

“i love you too, chenle.”

and you both head towards north, where you live happily ever after.

162 notes · View notes

wyofabdoms · 3 years

Text

Undercover I Do - Chapter 13

Characters: Javier Peña x female reader

Summary: While on an undercover assignment posing as a married couple, you are attacked and nearly assaulted. Upon waking, all you remember about Javier Peña is what you remembering seeing from two photographs of the two of you posing as the happily married couple. As you struggle to regain your memories, Javi struggles with his own feelings for you.

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Warnings: Implied cheating, swearing, destruction of government property, fluff, angst, mild reference and description of physical & sexual assault.

Word Count: 5048

Notes: The aftermath of you finding the file in Javi's office.

We've reached the end. I didn't expect this story to end this way; I really expected it to have a lot more smut...but! it got the ending it told me it wanted!

Let me know if you find any crazy mistakes. Feedback and comments greatly appreciated.

Be well!

Read on Ao3

Gif not mine, created by bestintheparsec

You had always hated it when people said stupid shit like “all the pieces just fell into place.” Pieces don’t FALL into place. Pieces of pie don’t fall, they’re served. Puzzle pieces don’t fall, they’re carefully assessed and placed into a precise spot just for that specific piece. That saying had never made any sense to you and had always made you crazy.

But now suddenly, every inch that had been hidden in the dark from you was illuminated, highlighted. Everything seemed all at once so bright and overwhelming; one moment you had no recollection of anything written about in the report in your hands. The next moment, CLICK. The light had been turned on and everything was there again.

Everything made more sense now. Why everyone had seemed so on edge whenever they had spoken with you the last few weeks, everyone seeming to measure their words carefully. Why you hadn’t been able to jog any memories loose at all about your nuptials and marriage (or in fact any relationship at all) with Javier. Why you had felt so off-balance in your own apartment.

Why Javier had refused to sleep with you.

None of it was real. You felt the blood drain from your face as you remembered the parts that came next in Javi’s report before you read them, the memories coming faster than the words on the page, now.

The pieces falling into place.

The icy spear of fear that had sliced your chest when the first sicario had come up behind the two of you the night you’d been discovered and pistol whipped Javi, knocking him to the floor. The punches and scratches and lewd, terrible threats Ortiz’s cronies had rained down on you in the hours that you were separated from him. How you had never felt more relieved than when you’d been thrown into a room with your bloodied and bruised partner, saying his name over and over, so grateful that he wasn’t dead that you could barely draw breath. You had laid on the far side of the bedroom from him, tugging against your restraints, listening in the dark as he had murmured things to you and you had whispered back: plans of escape or to fight back and then, eventually, as it became clear that neither option was very likely, comforting words.

Your brain is moving faster now and more and more memories burn bright in front of you, each one shoving and fighting to be seen.

Ortiz had arrived then. Your brain flashed with the sour image of him leering over you, his meaty hands groping and fisting handfuls of your body, the sickly stench of his overpriced cologne poisoning your nostrils, making you gag. You felt his evil hand between your legs, searching, digging...but before he’d found purchase the noises had started. You remembered clearly now. You had blocked it out, the memory of that despicable man forcing himself on you.

At just that moment, you had heard the door open behind you. You’d looked up, trying to hold back the wave of memories that was suddenly crashing around you. You saw your partner standing in the doorway of his demolished office and were sure you’d said something to him. But the memory of Ortiz and what he had tried to do to you had sent your body shaking uncontrollably and you felt yourself crumpling inwards as more memories shoved their way through.

You remembered the blinding flash of light behind your eyes and then you remembered the heavy weight of your body being cradled in someone’s steady arms and you remembered hearing Javier’s voice coming from what seemed like a great distance. He’d been begging you for something. When you had managed to get your eyes open you’d seen him next to you in the ambulance. Your partner. You’d felt him squeeze your hand and assure you that he was there. He was your partner. He would always be there for you.

Just like now. He flew to your side, ripping his jacket off and wrapping it around you as you dissolved into a shivering puddle in the middle of his office. You were also distantly aware of Dixon’s voice shouting for someone to call your doctor, her commanding voice booming as she asked what the hell had happened. You heard the familiar voices of Van Ness and Fiestl murmuring, but Javier’s attention was on you. You heard him murmuring to you softly, carefully taking the file from your hands and telling you to breathe, that he was here, that it was going to be ok.

You had every reason in the world to not believe a word he said, to hate him right now. But all you could do was close your eyes as the tremors overtook you, all you could do was lean into him….

All you could do was trust him.

Hours later, Javi sat on the edge of his seat in Dixon’s office. Also in the room was your partner’s doctor, the psychologist she had been seeing the last few weeks, and a representative from the Ambassador’s office. Javier’s nerves were frayed, his muscles tensed, ready to make a move in an instant. Dixon had been interviewing her for close to two solid hours.

He had only been half aware of the line of questioning his boss had been asking you; his focus had been entirely on his partner from the moment he’d found her reading the case file in his office. He had not left her side since she’d looked up at him and said his name. Dixon had arrived on scene moments later and had immediately sprung into action, calling for a full immediate medical inspection. Physically, she was fine. But as the doctor and then the psychologist and now Dixon had asked more questions, it was clear that mentally she appeared to be fully recovered as well, albeit slightly shaken by the abrupt and jarring reappearance of her missing memories.

While Dixon continued to assess her agent’s recollection about recent events, Javi kept his gaze leveled on his partner’s profile. He refused to look away from her. If she started to wobble he wanted to be able to catch her. If she started to shake again, he wanted to be able to step forward and cover her shoulders with his jacket. But his brave partner...his strong, smart, beautiful, brave partner...had moved through the questions with her usual detached grace and stoicism. She had not once looked at him since the moment she’d said his name in his office.

He had shared space with his partner for long enough to be familiar with her body language when she was pissed.

And right now, she was more pissed than he had maybe ever seen her.

He knew she was pissed at him. That was fair. He could also detect a fair amount of anger directed toward their boss even after Dixon had explained why they had made the decisions they had in recent days. The doctor had thrown in his own two cents and as they continued to talk, he felt some of her anger temper towards them. It had flared again when Dixon had explained that they had begun paperwork to send her home; Javi’s heart had started pounding and his hand had grasped the arm of his chair in a death grip. But both his worry and your anger lifted when it became clear that, with the full recovery of her memory, she would be free to continue working as an agent in Columbia, after a full physical and mental assessment had been made and signed off on.

Though her anger had waned towards Dixon, he knew it was a bad sign that his partner was refusing to look at him. When speaking of events in which he was involved, she only referred to him as “Agent Peña” and she had never directed a question at him, instead asking through Dixon for clarification on details: the pretending, the make believe married life, the intricacies of the scheme they had concocted to keep her in her fictitious world of memories. She had been very careful to not ask too many revealing questions...Javi recognized her restraint in what she revealed in her inquiries. He knew what she was attempting to deduce: how far had Dixon instructed him to take the “acting like you're married until her memory comes back”? Her response to anything he said was chilly, to put it lightly and Dixon soon picked up on the cold front, too.

“All right,” the older woman said, leaning forward on her desk and letting out a weary sigh. “I think it’s safe to say,” she gestured toward the Ambassador’s representative, “that no one is going to be sent home today.” The representative nodded in agreement. Dixon rose along with the young man in a suit and directed him and the doctors towards the door. “I’d like to speak to my agent alone if we all feel comfortable with moving forward?” Javi kept his eyes on his partner’s face, her own eyes intentionally avoiding him, instead drilling holes into the American flag hanging behind Dixon’s desk. He willed her to look at him, silently screamed for her to look at him. If she would just look at him, if he could just catch her eyes, just for a moment, he would know. He could see her. She’d be able to see him. She’d be able to SEE how he felt about all of this. He just needed her to LOOK at him.

“Agent Peña…” His silent pleas were interrupted by Dixon, standing next to the open door of her office, holding it wide and clearly waiting for him to get up and leave. He swallowed hard, and started to open his mouth to protest. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say but he couldn’t leave her. He was her partner. What if she needed him?

“Agent Dixon?” His partner’s voice was heavy in the sudden silence of the office. It was edged in steel, cold like ice and dripping with anger. “Perhaps you could see to it that Agent Peña gets his shit out of my apartment before I get home…” Eyes still on the wall in front of her, she let the words land in the space between them. Addressed to Dixon, they served as a slap across his face and he felt as though he’d been shoved in the gut, all of the air leaving his lungs at once.

“Ah. Yes, well….Agent Peña?” Without a word, Javi stood and stalked out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

“You’ve been right about him this whole time,” you say to Dixon after the woman settles back behind her desk. “He’s only ever been after one thing. I should have listened to you. He’s like every other man in the world: only thinks with their dick.”

Dixon steeples her fingers under her chin and studies you for a moment, concern lacing her forehead.

“Tell me more.”

You’re taken aback by this response. Dixon has always been the first to serve up cautionary tales of fraternization with colleagues, has always been able to sense when your restraint against your partner was failing and give you a pep talk to reinforce your will to withstand his flirtations. This was an unusually softer response.

“He just…” You stop, not quite sure what you want to say. You take a deep breath and look at your boss. “We can’t be partners after this.” Dixon starts at your words, sitting up straight.

“That’s…” The older woman studies you for a moment before asking carefully, “Why not?”

You scoff in disbelief.

“How can you expect me to work with him now? To ever trust him again?” When Dixon says nothing, you push on. “He lied to me! He lied SO WELL...I never would have thought he was that good of a liar.” Dixon still doesn’t speak and you rise from your chair and start to pace. “He had me feeling so sure. Sooooo…..so, certain. He worked me REALLY good, Dixon, I gotta tell ya. ‘Sure, I’ll pretend she’s my wife! Maybe THEN I can get in her pants!’ He didn’t even have to work at it! Just let me keep thinking we were married and that we were SUPPOSED to….” you stop yourself from growling out the word “fuck” in front of your boss. You continue, your voice softer now, disbelieving. “He was SUCH a good liar, Dixon. He had me believe-”

“What? That you were married?” The older woman cut you off. “You can’t put that all on him. He was ordered to do that.” You were confused by her sudden defense of him and you stopped your pacing to stare at her. The older woman sat back in her chair and appraised you for a moment before continuing. “Peña debriefed with me every day. Shared probably more than he wanted to about what was happening. I’ll admit, yes, I was initially a little worried about the arrangement. But based on everything he told me, I never thought…” a flash of concern crossed her eyes and she looked at you hard. “I only ever got his side of the story, of course. So, let me just make sure we’re clear, that I’m understanding you correctly: Are you telling me that Peña took advantage of you in this situation?” She waited.

You sat back down heavily in your chair, considering what she was asking you, thinking back over every interaction you had had with Javi since you’d come home from the hospital. Your first day back when he’d found you sobbing in your closet and gently tucked you in bed to rest. The awkward run in after your shower, when he had intentionally turned away from you. The walks around the neighborhood everyday, through the markets, the mundane routines of cooking a meal or watching tv together, reading reports or the paper. His reliable presence sleeping on your couch every night until that thunderstorm when you had been struck by nightmares (now you knew they were memories) and how he had held you so tightly and securely as you’d cried, then how he’d held you in his arms every night following as you drifted off to sleep. You were distantly aware that Dixon was still talking and you tuned back in.

“...because if that’s the case I will ruin him. He will never work again, not if I have anything to say about it. If he lied to me about the situation…”

“No.” You stop her rant, holding up a hand. “It...it wasn’t like that, Dixon. He didn’t. He didn’t take advantage of me. That’s not what I’m saying. It’s just... It wasn’t…."

Wasn’t...what?

It wasn’t real?

Was that why you were so upset? Yes, the sudden return of your memories of a traumatic event had shaken you, but why were you so upset with Javier Peña? He had done what he’d been ordered to do: pretend to be your husband.

You thought back to those most charged and intimate moments between the two of you. From the get-go after your hospital release, he’d been careful not to touch you until you had made it clear it was ok. He hadn’t said a word when he’d seen you in your towel. And, now that you were reflecting on it, all of the intimate moments had been initiated by you. The shower, the early mornings lying next to him in bed, the heavy making out on the couch.

Your mind suddenly reeled to the conversations you had had with him: about your wedding, when you’d asked about wanting kids, the book of poetry you’d found with the pictures in his office. The drunken argument you’d had with him the night before.

“I promise you: It’s all gonna make sense when things are back to how they were….I haven’t lied to you once this whole time. Not once...please, please know I’m doing this because...because I love you.”

Is that why you felt like you could cry at the thought of you facing your partner ever again? Because a small cracked part inside of you had felt complete at the idea of being married to Javier Peña? And now, that had ended up not being true. As your anger and fear from the initial shock of your recovered memories fell away, you were now just left with an aching sadness that something that had felt so real and so right… had actually ended up being nothing at all.

It had felt so real. So true. You had believed him. About all of it.

Javier stared at the ceiling of his apartment, watching the shadows crawl inch by inch towards morning. He had been laying here on his couch for hours, trying to decide if he should give up on sleep and go into work or if he should march downstairs and bang on her door and demand that she talk to him.

He heaved another heavy sigh and threw his arm across his eyes, begging whatever higher power might be listening to put him out of his misery and let him sleep away this nightmare situation for just a little while.

He thought the soft knocking on his door was his imagination at first. Then he heard it again and he bolted upright. His stomach clenched when he saw her through the peephole and he threw the door open, forgetting about his disheveled state of appearance until she swept an appraising eye up and down: shirtless, barefoot, jeans wrinkled and baggy, belt unbuckled hair sticking up in every direction and eyes red-rimmed from smoke and sleeplessness.

“Hey,” He croaked, his voice betraying the relaxed demeanor he hoped to convey. He was so surprised that she was standing in front of him that he forgot to invite her in, and after several moments of saying nothing, she breezed past him through the partially opened door, forcing him to step backwards out of her way and nearly falling over a box of his things that he’d dropped inside the door after hauling it back upstairs.

She hovered in his hallway for a moment or two, staring into the shadows of his apartment, then turned to face him. She held up a wadded ball of something: one of his shirts. The pink one that she’d always given him so much grief about but that he’d found her clutching in the closet that first day back from the hospital. She tossed the shirt into one of the overfilled boxes behind him and then crossed her arms over her chest. The hallway was dark and, like the rest of his apartment, he couldn’t see her face clearly; he moved to turn on a light but her voice stopped him before he made it to the light switch.

“Was any of it real?”

He didn’t ask her to clarify or ask what she meant. He knew what she meant and to pretend otherwise would have only insulted her and made her angrier with him.

“Yes.” It was all he could trust himself to say.

“Which parts?”

She had him. This was the chance he had been afraid he would never get this morning, when he’d been terrified of losing her. She was giving him this moment, this chance to tell her the truth. To tell her how he felt.

But he was a coward. He felt those cowardly claws reach up from inside of him and pull his resolve and courage back down beneath the darkness of himself, of his self-loathing and the hatred he had for who he had become. His gaze flicked away from her, he put a hand on his hip and ran his other through his hair nonchalantly and he shrugged.

“I dunno, it was just…” She took an aggressive step forward into his personal space, causing him to straighten and jolt at her sudden closeness.

“Which parts?” She asked again, more forcefully this time. Her eyes glittered in the shadows and he could see them searching his face, and he found it was easier to look at her here, in the half darkness. He felt a small shred of courage still burning deep within himself and he dove towards it.

“I...I didn’t lie to you. I never told you a lie. Not once. I made sure….I made sure I didn’t ever actually speak a lie to you.” He saw her roll her eyes and he pressed forward while he still had the will to speak. “I know, I know. Omission and all of that. I know. And you’re right. But I didn’t lie to you. And I’m sorry for…” he took a deep breath. He knew this part was important. He needed to get it right. “I’m sorry about the way I...made you feel. About...ya know,” he waved his hand in the space between the two of them. “I didn’t mean for you to feel like I didn’t want to be with you. I know that hurt you. That’s not…” He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “I didn’t want you to hate me when this was all over. I…” He felt his stomach turn watery. “I wanted to…” He looked at her then, his eyes burning into hers for a moment. “I wanted to.” He said again, making sure she knew what he meant. “But I knew you’d never forgive when you got your memory back if I let that happen. And, I’m sorry...this morning...I know it was too close...I just thought…”

When she pressed her warm lips to his, he almost fell backwards over the boxes again, but he was in an instant grateful that she had stopped any further words from stammering out of his mouth. He wrapped his arms around her in part to steady himself but also to pull her the final small distance into him. When she pulled her lips away, he didn’t let go of her and she didn’t make an attempt to move away from the warm embrace of his arms.

“You told me there wasn’t anyone else.” Her warm eyes looked up at him, her lips hovering mere centimeters from his.

“There isn’t.”

“I saw you this morning...with her.” Javi let his forehead fall against hers and he sighed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...I didn’t want for that to happen. I was...I don’t want to sound like a pervert or anything but...I was still thinking about you when she showed up and…” He stopped talking, knowing there was absolutely nothing he could say to excuse himself. “I’m sorry.” He repeated it more softly this time, leaving an opening at the end of the two little words; allowing room for her to take control of what happened next.

They stood like that for several long moments in the dark, her hands linked around his neck, his arms firmly snaked around her waist, palms flat on her back, foreheads resting together, sharing one another’s breath. Then, ever so softly and so timidly he almost didn’t recognize it as her voice, could barely hear her:

“Did you mean it?”

Again he knew better than to act like he didn’t know what she was talking about. He nodded his head against her, holding his breath. She pulled back to look him in directly in the eyes, asking him more loudly this time, seeking the words.

“Did you?”

He had to say it. If he didn’t he would lose her forever, he knew it for certain. She would leave his apartment and never look back.

“Yes.” He had never found a single word so difficult to say. He saw a flash of frustration in her eyes.

“Javi…”

“I love you.”

There.

There it was.

The truth. That was real.

He panicked in the moments that came after, feeling every instinct inside of him screaming to run away. But her gaze and her soft breath on his face and the way her hands softly danced through the short hairs on the back of his neck kept him rooted in place.

Her lips lifted in a small smile.

“Yeah?” she breathed. He couldn’t help but return a small smile.

“Yeah.”

He wasn’t sure if she pulled him to her or if she leaned into him, but her lips were on his again, this time her tongue seeking entrance which he gladly and desperately granted. He pulled her tighter against him, letting a soft moan escape from deep inside him as their tongues tasted each other hungrily. He had never thought something could feel as good as the sensation of her fingers in his hair, tugging gently.

He took his cue from her and when her lips left his and began to travel along his jaw, around his ear, down his neck, he began to let his hands roam her around her hips, kneading handfuls of her backside in his grip. She pressed her full weight into him as he grasped her and the backs of his legs knocked into the boxes again on the floor behind him; he stumbled and they both nearly went crashing to the floor. Instead they did a sharp half-lean, half-fall into the hallway wall, both of them laughing like teenagers but still refusing to break their kiss. Eventually, Javi pulled away with great effort and steadied them both before sliding his hands along the backs of her thighs and patting, signaling her to hop and wrap her arms around his waist, which she happily did. He was surprised to feel a broad smile plastered over his face as he began to walk her towards his front door, peppering kisses along her neck and nibbling her ear.

“Wait!” She pulled away from his lips, looking at him quizzically at the sound of the door opening behind her. “Where the hell are we going?” He grinned up at her sweetly.

“Your apartment. Your bed is way fucking better than mine.” She threw her head back and laughed and he felt his own rumbling leave his own chest and bubble out of his mouth as he watched her face transform with delight amidst the moonlight and soft shadows. God she was so beautiful. She leaned down and kissed him again, fiercely.

He had to stop for a moment, leaning against the wall, the sheer force of her passion bleeding through her kiss into his soul and causing him to lose control of his very sense of self. He felt for a moment like he was floating and was unsure he would be able to support both of them. Then he felt her hands tangle in his hair again and it grounded him, brought his thoughts swimming back through the swirling haze of desire he felt for her. He dropped her to her feet, abruptly and she began to protest, but then squealed with surprise and delight when he immediately leaned into her and chucked her over one shoulder, both of them laughing as he tore down the stairs to her apartment.

Much later, after they had explored and tasted and taken one another several times over, Javi lay tangled in the sweaty bed sheets, perfectly content to live out the remainder of his life with his head nestled comfortable on her soft belly, his eyes drooping and sleepy from sex and utter contentment.

He listened to the sound of her steady breathing and revelled in the gentle rise and fall of his own head as air filled her body and then left it again gently, raising his head slowly and releasing it back down with each breath she took. It reminded him of when he was a boy, going fishing with his dad on the lake in the cold early mornings when the waters were just waking up; the waves lapping the side of the boat and creating a steady up...down...up...down... The memory was peaceful and relaxing, just as this moment with her was now. He would throw himself into the ocean that was her for the rest of his life if she would have him, he thought.

He felt her hand move across her stomach and touch the top of his head. He glanced up at her and saw her gazing back at him with her own set of sleepy eyes. He stared at her for a long while, wanted to say something, wanted to say just the right thing....the perfect thing. The romantic thing.

But then he didn’t have to.

She carefully weaved her fingers through his hair, gave him a small smile, released a soft contented sigh, and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep, smile still dancing across her lips. He smiled, too and turned his face to press a soft kiss into her middle, just between her breasts, above where he could feel her heart beating steadily. Then he returned his head to his original spot and allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by the rhythm and motion of her breath.

Before he slipped down into the soft haze of sleep, his gaze fell upon the delicate white petals edged in pink of plumeria.

They were standing in a vase of water on the table next to the bed. She had put them there at some point after he had brought them to her as a peace offering...was that only the night before? He had felt like he had lived two lifetimes with her these last 24 hours. When they had reached her apartment, time had slowed as they had discovered one another; each time he had spilled himself inside of her or she had cried his name as she came apart around him he had whispered to her once more:

“I love you.”

He had never felt anything like it before, being with her, saying those words. It was passionate and sexy and powerful.

It was real.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, taking in the scent of her, the scent of them, mingled with the soft scent of the flowers that stood watch over them as they slept.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12

#javier peña x reader #javier peña x female reader #narcos #narcos fanfic #javi #undercover marriage #undercover married trope #pedro pascal fanfiction

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sailorfailures · 4 years

Photo

I fell in love with these postcards from the Girl’s Night Out popup cafe the moment I saw them! I knew I had to get my hands on them, and the lovely @blaze-rocket was able to help that happen.

I cannot get over how perfect these postcards are. To me, this is what Sailor Moon is; a testament to the little moments from the series that made us fall in love with the characters, especially how their personal preferences were reflected in their fashion choices. In a world of merch where it’s easy to just slap a random crescent moon on something pink and say “look, it’s Usagi,” the designer responsible for these graphics went the extra mile to take imagery from the show itself that needles its way deep into our nostalgia-cortexes.

How many references do you recognise? Quiz yourself against this comprehensive (image-heavy) list! 👇

The inners’ postcards all reference the eye-catching sign for Game Center Crown, the iconic arcade where Motoki Furuhata worked and the gang would all congregate to play games and share information.

Starting in R they switched to hanging out at Fruits Parlor Crown, a cafe attached to the arcade staffed by Motoki’s sister Unazuki, which the Inners’ postcards all also reference. They would often get brightly-coloured drinks there, but the drinks pictured on these postcards seem to specifically line up with the real drinks available at the Girls Night Out popup cafe.

Sailors Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto’s postcards all reference “Café Étrangère,” which was the name of the cafe they were seen dining at in the Sailor Moon S movie. Even the logo is replicated faithfully from a scene only a few seconds long.

All the girls’ clothes are hanging on coat hangers shaped like Luna/Artemis/Diana.

Ami / Sailor Mercury’s references:

Ami’s casual outfit is an unusual choice since she only wore it a handful of times over the entire series, and half the times she wore it, it was given a different colour scheme with a green jacket instead of the yellow version pictured here.

Her “mini data computer” is her most iconic tool/weapon/accessory, revealed in episode 009, directly after her introduction.

The pink package is how Usagi and the other girls wrapped up her transformation stick and communicator watch as Ami’s going-away present in episode 062.

The ice cream may be a reference to the same episode, as she shared a cone with Chibi-Usa before she left, and returned to the store to protect her friends from the Droid Nihpasu.

The flash cards are a method Ami commonly used to help her study, and are particularly similar to the ones shown in the SuperS short “Ami’s First Love”.

Rei / Sailor Mars’s References:

Rei wore her casual outfit fairly frequently, starting and most notably in the beginning of the Sailor Moon R movie.

The small red o-mamori charm is from Hikawa Shrine, seen frequently but introduced in episode 010.

The paper ofuda ward was used frequently by Rei to fight evil, even before she could transform, but most notably in the attack sequence for “Akuryou, Taisan” (“Foul Spirit, Begone”).

To my knowledge the purple bag isn’t a specific reference, but Rei did throw a similar purse at a Cardian as a makeshift weapon in episode 048 before she got her Guardian memories back.

The gift-wrapped shopping boxes are the exact same ones as carried by Rei in the Sailor Moon Sailor Stars opening sequence before she trips and falls, right down to the patterns on the paper...

... which in itself may be a reference/callback to Rei’s tendency to make Yuuichirou carry her shopping (maybe so she doesn’t trip).

The phoenix-shaped pendant is a reference to episode 183; it’s made of glazed ceramic, crafted by Rei’s cousin Kengo Ibuki, given to her as a child after she convinced him not to smash it even though he his pottery a “failure”.

Makoto / Sailor Jupiter’s References:

Makoto didn’t start wearing her casual outfit until around S, but she wore it frequently after that, especially as she became more confident wearing “feminine” clothing. They even remembered her iconic gold wrist watch worn over her sleeve!

Her uniquely decorated bento bag debuted in episode 026, her introductory episode, along with the rounded green cutlery. The pouch has been featured a few more times since and its design is a mainstay in almost every Sailor Moon canon.

The teal hairtie and the rose-shaped earrings are two of Makoto’s iconic accessories, some of the only non-magical fashion accessories in the entire series to stay the same whether the character is transformed or not (the other being Minako’s infamous red bow). Her earrings also served a dual purpose as makeshift projectile weapons in episode 025.

The blue book is 月夜の天馬 (Tsukiyo no Tenma, “The Moonlit Pegasus”), a novel which was written by Tomoko Takase and introduced in epsode 134. Makoto knew Tomoko from her old middle school, before she transferred, and was the first one to read her first draft after retrieving it from bullies. She encouraged Tomoko to try and get it published. Makoto meets with her again and helps her overcome her writer’s block to finish her sequel, 天馬幻想 (Tenma Gensou, “Pegasus Fantasy”).

Minako / Sailor Venus’s References:

This is one of Minako’s most-worn casual outfits, especially if you consider the additional outfits based off it. Despite its prevalence, she didn’t start wearing it until the beginning of S.

Minako’s red hair ribbon is her most iconic accessory, but did you know why she started wearing it? The Codename: Sailor V prequel manga explains that she started wearing the ribbon instead of her usual red hairtie on the suggestion of her “first crush” Higashi. But when he turns out to be an enemy in disguise, she decides she looks good with a ribbon anyway, and keeps wearing it for her own benefit.

The red mask is a reference to Minako’s role as Sailor V before joining the team as Sailor Venus. Sailor V was known as a mysterious vigilante superhero and a fictional video game character as early as episode 001, but in episode 033 Minako revealed herself to the rest of the Sailor Team, dramatically removing her mask one final time.

Minako was known to be a skilled volleyball player, especially in the manga, and it was especially relevant in episode 100 where she had to delicately return the serve of an energy sphere containing the Pure Heart of her old volleyball crush, Asai.

The sign with Minako’s name can be seen hanging off the front of her bedroom door in episode 192.

[Manga scan courtesy of Miss Dream.]

Usagi / Sailor Moon’s References:

Usagi wore this outfit in the Sailor Moon R movie, making it a memorable choice. Although the movie aired roughly midway through R, Usagi didn’t start to wear this outfit casually again until the S season.

Usagi is shown eating a lot of food, especially sweets, but she seems to have a particular fondness for crepes, snacking on them in several different episodes.

In episode 143 we can see that Usagi is very technologically trendy - for the times. She’s carrying that blue-and-pink pager which she and Mamoru use to contact each other by way of goroawase, that is, deciphering messages based on the different pronunciations of numbers, a precursor to modern texting. Mamoru pages her the numbers 84 51, which could be read as hachi yon go ichi; reading only the first syllables, and substituting go for the related sound ko, Usagi would interpret the message as hayo koi, which sounds a bit like “come quick” - she’s late for their date. Oops!

By the way, pagers were often called “pocket bells” (pokeberu) in Japan, and became so rapidly popular they even found their way into the lyrics of Rashiku Ikimasho, the ending song for the SuperS season; 「泣きたい時にはポケベルならしてよんで、戦士の休息」 [Nakitai toki ni wa POKEBELL narashite yonde, senshi no kyuusoku] “If you feel like crying, send a page thru the Pocket Bell, take a break from [being a] Guardian”

Chibi-Usa / Sailor Chibi Moon’s References:

Chibi-Usa doesn’t technically have a school uniform, but her casual clothes are often styled after sailor suits as a reflection of both her idolisation of the figure of “Sailor Moon” and of her desire to be seen as older and more mature than she appears. She changes “uniforms” every season, and this pinafore outfit is the version she wears in SuperS. She wore the other outfit in the SuperS premiere episode.

The handgun is from episode 060, Chibi-Usa’s introduction to the series and arguably one of the most iconic absurdist scenes in all of Sailor Moon. The gun itself is actually a toy, probably a transformation of the Luna-P sphere, which Chibi-Usa uses to try and threaten Usagi into giving her the Legendary Silver Crystal. When she “shoots” Usagi, the bullet is revealed to be nothing but a suction-cup flower, also pictured. (By the way, if you were wondering, Chibi-Usa’s fake gun is based on a real Colt M1911A1.) She transforms the Luna-P into a toy gun to shoot Sailor Moon again in the Sailor Moon R movie, this time as a way to motivate Usagi to fight.

The Luna-P sphere was a mysterious gadget Chibi-Usa kept with her for the duration of R and parts of S. It’s unknown where it came from, but it could be assumed to have been created from advanced 30th century technology. It was a combination toy and tool which could transform itself into a variety of objects, formulas, and even weapons, though none were shown to be particularly powerful. It could also be used to communicate with Sailor Pluto at the Time-Space Door. When Chibi-Usa was manipulated into becoming Wicked Lady in episode 085, the Luna-P sphere also transformed into an “evil” and much more dangerous version.

The Space-Time Key was a special tool given to her by Sailor Pluto that allowed her to travel between the past and the future, though it was difficult for her to wield effectively.

The sunhat was given to Chibi-Usa by Ikuko, so she treasured it greatly. In episode 112 it got blown away and was retrieved by Hotaru Tomoe, which allowed her to meet Chibi-Usa and marked the beginning of their close friendship.

The blue-and-red package was a gift containing two manga books (”Drop Drop” vol. 1 & 2 by Ukon Katakuri) which Chibi-Usa intended to give to her new friend Hotaru in episode 113.

In episode 127, Chibi-Usa returned home to the future, and the girls all made her some going-away gifts. Ami made her a floppy disk (lol) to help her study, Rei made her a casette tape (double lol) of her music, Makoto packed her a lunch, and Minako made her a photo album of their time together. Usagi hand-sewed Chibi-Usa the rabbit-shaped backpack using a real outfit she used to love when she was a child.

Michiru / Sailor Neptune’s References:

This is a somewhat unusual choice for Michiru’s casual outfit, as she only wore it for two episodes, and that’s only because they made up a two-part story. But perhaps because the episodes were so pivotal - with Haruka and Michiru almost learning Usagi’s true identity - the outfit itself became more memorable.

Not only do they include Michiru’s violin, but they included the lemon she bounced off the instrument as she played to show off her skills in episode 093.

The teacup, teaspoon and saucer are the same set Michiru was seen drinking from at Fruits Parlor Crown in episode 094.

Michiru and Haruka both reference episode 095, where they had to enter a “true love” contest as part of their investigation. The contestants were asked to find their partner’s hand in an anonymous lineup, and Haruka was able to identify Michiru’s hand immediately.

Michiru used Haruka as a model for an illustration in her green sketchbook in episode 106.

Michiru’s Talisman is the Deep Aqua Mirror, revealed in episode 110 and used in her attack Submarine Reflection. She could also use it to receive prophetic visions. Visually, it was based on real-life art nouveau hand mirrors, and symbolically represented the mirror from the Three Sacred Treasures.

Haruka / Sailor Uranus’s References:

Conversely, Haruka wore this outfit a lot. Maybe more than she should’ve.

The teacup and saucer is the same set Haruka was seen drinking from at Fruits Parlor Crown in episode 094.

Haruka’s postcard also references the lovers contest in episode 095 (see above).

The purple scarf is from episode 096; Haruka was wearing it as a necktie when she almost ran into Makoto on her motorcycle. Haruka used the scarf to bandage Makoto’s road rash, which she returned later, though now smitten.

Not only is Haruka’s motorcycle included, they also referenced (one of) her car(s), the 1968 Toyota 2000GT.

Haruka’s Talisman is the Space Sword, revealed in episode 110 and used in her attack Space Sword Blaster. Symbolically it represented the sword from the Three Sacred Treasures.

Setsuna / Sailor Pluto’s References:

Setsuna didn’t have a school uniform, since she wasn’t a student, so she got to double-up on her casual outfits. Her mauve outfit is her most recognisable, wearing it so often it may as well have been her uniform. In fact, she was rarely seen wearing anything else until Sailor Stars, where she started experimenting with other outfits, including the Time Lord-esque suit on the right.

The potted plant is a Tellun, the energy-draining plant created by Tellu in episode 121. Setsuna was investigating it when it attempted to attack her, but she was protected by her Talisman, the Garnet Orb (also pictured, representing the jewel in the Three Sacred Treasures). She then went on to destroy the remaining Tellun plants and defeat Tellu with the help of Sailor Moon, Sailor Chibi Moon, and Tuxedo Mask.

The teacup and saucer are the same set Setsuna is seen drinking from at Cafe Etranger in the Sailor Moon S movie.

In episode 182, the girls are discussing the mysterious arrival of Chibi Chibi while eating ice cream on a hot summer’s day. Setsuna appears out of nowhere to confirm their suspicions... carrying that popsicle of her own.

Hotaru / Sailor Saturn’s References:

Hotaru tended to wear the same thing, mostly all-black, but she did occasionally adventure into rich colours like this bottle green two-piece outfit and iconic raspberry beret.

The sunhat belonged to Chibi-Usa; it symbolises the beginning of their friendship, when Hotaru caught it after it blew away in episode 112.

Chibi-Usa gave Hotaru the rabbit backpack in episode 116, using it to pass a note inviting her on a picnic.

Hotaru collects lamps, and the two referenced here are seen in her bedroom, which she keeps dimly lit to manage her pain.

The window might seem random, but it was random in the series, too - it’s one of the curtained window which looks out from Hotaru’s bedroom, and when a Daimon experiment goes terribly wrong in episode 118 and transforms her house into a Bamboozled-like inter-dimensional maze, one window overlooks a vast ocean while the other overlooks a strange jungle.

Hotaru’s weapon as Sailor Saturn is the Silence Glaive. It’s said that she possesses enough power to destroy the world with a single drop of her scythe.

That’s it! You made it! How many references did YOU know? 🌙

#sailor moon #long post #I couldn't have done this the easy way. I couldn't have just posted the pictures and been like 'ooh look pretty'.#it was fun though and I actually learned some things in the process #I feel like I slipped through time somehow and designed these for Toei and then blacked it from my memory #again: sincere apologies to those on mobile

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onechicagorpf · 4 years

Text

Two Can Play This Game

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Chicago Med ED doctor)

Summary: Y/N and Jay have a very undefined relationship, which causes problems when Jay decides to meet with Ally, his ex, for drinks. Y/N’s not one to take things lightly, so when Jay dismisses her jealousy she decides to give him a taste of his own medicine...

Warnings: Loud yelling-at-each-other arguments, which can be triggering, so please watch out! Swearing + dubious medical content, as per usual lol

A/N: I just needed a break before I got started on Not A Stranger Part 4, so this happened! Enjoy! As per usual, please leave comments if you really liked it - they mean a lot!

The sun is bearing down on you hard, and you feel a trickle of sweat go down the back of your neck.

“Need a drink?” It’s Ethan, tossing a cool bottle of water at you. Grinning, you catch it and quickly begin to empty it into your mouth.

Ethan’s frowning, looking up into the sky. “Some days, I just don’t get Chicago. It’s either freezing because it’s the polar vortex, or it’s boiling hot because - well. Whatever. I hate this.” Crushing the plastic bottle, you toss it into a nearby trashcan. “We’ve cleared everyone?” You ask, gesturing to the relatively less frantic movement of firefighters, cops, and doctors on the road. Ethan nods.

A gas explosion had gone off in an apartment, and it was bad enough that CFD paged ED doctors to come down and treat some patients on the scene. Natalie, Connor, Lanik and the student doctors opted to stay behind and hold down the fort, so you were dispatched out with Will and Ethan. For the last hour and a half, you’d been busy running triage and treating whatever burns, smoke inhalations, and other trauma injuries came your way. Luckily, the fire had been contained to just one floor, so there were only a few really awful burns. But of course, this is Chicago so there’s only so much luck going around.

The building was an old one, and that coupled with several structural defects meant that the south face of the building had partially collapsed. So in essence, for every burn victim CFD pulled out, there were about three penetrating or blunt traumas from falling concrete.

“Yeah, but I’d rather treat trauma from a falling object than burns any day,” Ethan comments and you raise your eyebrows. “See, if you’d told me that at the start I would’ve just taken all the burn vics and tossed the rest to you.” Ethan throws his hands up, as you start laughing. “Okay hold on, I didn’t say I wanted to take them all – ” “You guys good?” Cruz swings by, soot and sweat on his face. He takes off his helmet with a sigh, and his shoulders sag like he’s been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Should be asking you that. Are you guys done with search and rescue?” You ask, kicking a nearby plastic chair towards him. Cruz thanks you and starts taking off his equipment. “Yeah, we’ve cleared building. CPD’s in there now.” You nod, your heart skipping a beat at the thought of the police - well specifically at the thought of one detective who you know is on scene…

Except you’re supposed to be mad at him now, so stop thinking about him!

“So they think this is arson? And that it’s related to some case Intelligence is working?” Ethan asks, and Cruz nods, “Seems that way, yeah.”

There’s a moment of silence, and your eyes scan the area, watching patrol officers lift up police tape for the last few victims being wheeled into ambulances. You get up, ready to check with Will if he’s ready to go back when Cruz kicks at your feet, a cheeky smile on his face.

“So what’s this I hear about you and the younger Halstead being on the outs?” His eyes light up, and you groan, swearing. Ethan laughs, and you shoot him a glare, to which he simply shrugs like as if he’s got nothing to do with this.

You turn back to Cruz, narrowing your eyes at him. “Who told you and what do you know?”

“All I know is that you and Jay were both at Molly’s last night and you didn’t even look at each other.” Cruz pouts, acting all sad. “What happened to my favourite detective-doctor duo, huh? Why the trouble in paradise?”

You roll your eyes. “We’re fine. We just…were hanging out with different groups of people last night.” Shrugging your shoulders, you lean against the nearby table of supplies, trying to look all nonchalant. Ethan raises his eyebrows, “So you’re definitely not pissed about the blonde chick Jay had drinks with 2 nights ago?”

“Okay, fuck you - ” You exclaim, unable to hide your rage at that memory. Which Ethan and Cruz find hilarious, apparently, because they’re throwing their heads back and laughing.

“You guys suck,” You punch Cruz in the arm as you walk away; the two men calling you back while still laughing. You flip your middle finger at them, which elicits an outraged “Hey!” Shaking your head, you chuckle as well.

The Med ED/Firehouse 51/Intelligence circle is a tight one and you love it - love having friends who are more or less in the same line of work, friends you can lean on, friends who don’t get pissed when you have to cancel on them last minute. But the flip side of that is the fact that nothing stays secret. Gossip is most the valuable currency in that social circle, so if Cruz and Ethan know, then it’s not a bad guess to think everyone knows.

“Dude, c’mon. You’re an adult. Just take the damn injection!” Severide’s voice catches your attention, and you turn. He’s standing at the back of an ambulance, with Will and Jay by his side (your heart, again, skips a beat, which only pisses you off because ugh, you’re so bad at being angry at him!). The three of them are crowded around a fairly attractive, topless blonde man sitting in the back of the ambulance, shaking his head vehemently. You start making your way towards them, listening in.

“Hell nah – I’m not letting you stab me with that shit – ” The guy’s eyes are wide, and he’s leaning back from Will.

“It’s just a tetanus shot,” Will explains, exasperated. He points to the guy’s side, where a bandaged piece of gauze has been stuck to his skin. “The rusty stairwell scratched you, so you need to get a tetanus shot.”

“I said, I’m not fucking doing needles!” Hot blond guy yells and Jay runs his hand down his face. “Okay dude seriously, I can’t question you about the fire unless you get treated first, so please just take the damn shot so we can all move on with our lives – ”

“What’s going on?” You interject, hands on your hips. All four men turn, and you’re very careful to not make eye contact with Jay. Will and Kelly both immediately shoot furtive glances at Jay once they see you, so obviously they also know that you and Jay are having an argument. Great!

I mean, it has to have been Jay’s fault, because you didn’t tell anyone…well except for Natalie…who might have told Maggie…who might have told April…who might have told Kelly - shit. Well, it doesn’t matter. The whole thing is only happening because of Jay. Technically the two of you weren’t really dating – it was just a couple of hookups, but then you also started hanging out a lot together, and it got to the point where everyone knew that the two of you were basically kinda sorta an item.

You liked that you guys never had to sit down and talk about what exactly the two of you were – all that meant was that you guys were strong and confident and that you didn’t need to have a discussion about where you stood!

Or at least that’s what it meant to you. Jay apparently thought it meant it was completely okay to go have drinks with an on and off ex from high school, who he’d admitted to you he’d hooked up with on multiple occasions in the past. When you (rightfully!) got pissed at him, he just frowned and said “What’s the problem? We’re not together.”

To which you responded very maturely.

So maturely!

In a very, very responsible way…

Okay, fine, maybe you screamed “FUCK YOU!” at the top of your lungs and left his apartment, slamming his front door loud enough to wake up all the neighbours.

You get that you’re maybe being a little over-dramatic, and maybe it is on you because you just assumed you didn’t have to have that conversation with Jay. But it hurt you immensely how he thought it was okay to go have drinks with an ex (an ex!) without thinking about you at all.

“Blake here tripped on his way down the fire escape and got scraped by a rusty stairwell, but he’s refusing his tetanus shot.” Will explains, snapping you out of your reverie.

You turn to the guy just in time to catch him giving you a very slow once over, smirking.

Okay…

“How come a big strong guy like you is scared of needles, hmm?” You tilt your head, putting on your best flirty voice. It’s just a thing that tends to work with unruly male patients, you’ve learned over the years.

And yeah, maybe it can be a side benefit that Jay’s going to be an audience to you flirting with someone else…serves him right!

“I’m uh, I’m not actually scared of needles. Just didn’t trust that guy – ” He nods towards Will, who throws his hands in the air, “ – to do a good job you know? Take a delicate hand for these things. Speaking of which…you look like you’re pretty good with your hands,” Blake licks his lips, flirting with you blatantly. You have to press your lips against each other to not burst out laughing.

“Dude…” Jay threatens in a deep, dark voice, but stops when you turn around and grab the tetanus shot pack out of Will’s hands. You step towards Blake, who’s looking up at you with lust in his eyes as he shifts for you. Wiping his shoulder down with an alcohol swab, you find a good spot.

“I’m pretty good with my hands too, by the way,” Blake supplies, winking and you nod. “I’ll bet,” You reply, as someone behind you scoffs. From the corner of your eye, you can see Kelly turn away, trying not to laugh.

You’re much closer to Blake than you really need to be, not that he minds – in fact you’re pretty sure he’s having a great time checking you out up close. He curses under his breath when you inject him, but quickly recovers. You rub on the jab site once done, and trash the used pack. “Good to go,” You shoot Blake a smile. “Oh, one more thing!”

You turn, looking at a very frowny, jaws tight, arms-crossed-over-his-chest Jay Halstead. “Let me borrow that,” You reach forward and take his notepad and pen from him, before scribbling down your number on the top most sheet. Ripping it off, you press it against Blake’s chest, winking. Blake’s hands come up to take the piece of paper, grinning, briefly brushing your fingers as you pull away. Jay’s jaw is on the floor when you return his notepad and pen to him, and you can see Will just shake his head at you, amusement all over his face.

“Alright, let’s go!” You say to Will, and the two of you plus Kelly leave Jay behind with Blake.

“Jay’s going to murder that guy, you know right?” Kelly asks, once you’re out out earshot from Jay. “Like, he’s going down for a homicide. You just got an innocent man killed.” You chuckle and Will lets out a low whistle.

“I’m not gonna say he didn’t have that coming, but damn that was harsh.” The older Halstead says, still laughing.

Shrugging your shoulders, you act innocent. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about – I was just making friends!”

Will and Kelly both look at each other before looking back at you.

“Oh, yeah, of course – ”

“Obviously, what else could that have been – ”

You punch them both in the shoulder at their faux-agreement, the three of you laughing. Ethan comes over, saying there’s an ambulance ready to take them back to Med. You and Will say your goodbyes to Kelly, and take your leave.

***

It’s almost midnight when you finally get home. Hip-checking your door close behind you, you start undoing your scarf and carelessly toss it onto your coffee table, before collapsing onto your couch. Your hand roams the crevices of your couch, finding the plastic remote and turning on your TV. Rubbing your eyes while yawning, your TV comes alive to the news of the day. As if on cue, the screen is filled with videos of the building from earlier this morning.

“…while the gas explosion was first assumed to be an accident, it was later proven by CPD Intelligence that it was started by Derrick Henderson, a 35 year-old construction worker from Englewood, who…”

There’s a knock on your door, three loud raps. You blink, confused, and there’s another three. Frowning, you sit up, and you hear: “Y/N, I know you’re in there, c’mon just…just let me in, please,” Jay’s voice is muffled from the other side of your front door, but you know it’s him. Groaning, you get up and make your way over, unlatching your door.

“What do you want.” You intone, seeing him standing there in your threshold. He grabs the door with his hand, like as if he’s afraid you’re gonna shut the door in his face.

“I think I owe you an apology,” Jay starts and you hum, agreeing. “And then I think you owe me an apology,” He finishes, and your mouth falls open.

“What the fuck did I do!” You yell, shoving against his chest. Unfortunately for you, he doesn’t even budge - which is kinda hot, actually, wait, dammit - focus!

Jay’s eyes go wide, like he can’t believe you’re claiming innocence. “Are you kiddi – that whole thing! With – with Blake, the fucking moron, who was basically stripping you with his eyes! That was so unnecessary – ”

“You literally went on a date with your ex and you’re telling ME what’s unnecessary?! You – ”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Your neighbour from down the hall yells, and both you and Jay shut up. “NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS YOU FUCKING MORONS!”

Jay scoffs, and turns to step down your hallway to your neighbour’s apartment when you reach out, grab him by his tee and unceremoniously drag him into your apartment. Slamming the door behind you, you turn to give him a piece of your mind.

“You’re the asshole who told me that we weren’t really together so it didn’t matter if you went out with your ex-girlfriend! So why the fuck is it a problem if I give my number out, huh?!”

Jay throws his hands in the air. “I’m sorry, okay! I didn’t fucking – I wasn’t thinking when I did what I did and I can see know that it probably really hurt you, but I swear I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t want to hurt you; I just fucked up. But you – you went out of your WAY to piss me off – ”

“ALL I DID WAS GIVE OUT MY NUMBER – ”

“IN FRONT OF ME! TO SOME OTHER GUY! WHEN I – ”

The two of you jump when there’s loud banging on your door. “I’M CALLING THE FUCKING POLICE ON YOU TWO!”

Jay wrenches your door open and you see your pissed off neighbour on the other side. “I’M HER BOYFRIEND AND I’M THE FUCKING POLICE, SO YOU’D JUST BE CALLING ME!” He slams the door shut and turns, running his hands over his face.

“Okay, okay, we gotta stop yelling. Anyway, my point is – what?” Jay asks, as you stand unmoving, mouth slightly open.

When you eventually find your voice, all you can say is - “You’re my boyfriend?”

“That’s what I wanted to tell you – ” Jay smiles, reaching for you but you just step back.

“That you just decided you’re my boyfriend? Because this relationship is an autocracy?” You glare at him, getting angry again. The nerve of this guy!

Not that your heart didn’t practically soar when he called himself your boyfriend, but…

“No, no, we’re very democratic, and we should talk about this more, once we’re done with all the yelling.” Jay announces, and then he smiles. “I’m just saying I love you.”

“See, no, this is exactly the kind of issue with you - you just make decisions and act like you’re right and you can do whatever you want and you can go out with your ex if you want and that’s all supposed to be fine but the moment I – as a joke – hand out my number to some guy to give you a taste of your medicine, I’m the one who crossed a line and – wait, what?” You cut yourself off, confused if you’re hearing things.

“There we go,” Jay laughs, a fond smile etched on his face, as you finally process what he said.

“Did you just…did you just say you love me?” You ask, your voice soft as you step up to him.

“Yeah,” Jay’s grinning now, right in front of you. “I’m sorry it took me a while to realise it, but…I love you.”

You just blink at him for a couple of seconds, eyes starting to tear up. And then you punch him in the chest as hard as you can.

“Ow! What the fuck?!” Jay asks, eyes wide as he frowns, wholly confused.

“You fucking – fuck!” You whisper angrily, not wanting to piss off your neighbour again. “You had to fucking go out on a date with your ex-girlfriend and piss me the fuck off and make me make you jealous before you realised that you love me?!”

“I’ve been hit in the head multiple times…?” Jay shrugs apologetically.

“You’re an idiot.” You say, before cupping the back of his neck with your hand and pulling him down to press your lips together.

You can feel Jay smile through the kiss, bringing his hands up to cradle your face as he deepens the kiss, parting your lips. You’ve kissed each other many times before, in many ways – good morning pecks, in-the-middle-of-sex makeouts, teasing neck kisses – but something about this kiss is entirely new. It’s just…warm, and loving, and delicate and beautiful and just – just perfect.

When you pull apart, the two of you rest your foreheads against each other, smiling like dumb idiots.

“Jay?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #chicago pd imagine #chicago med imagine #onechicago imagine #onechicago #cpd imagine #ethan choi #will halstead #kelly severide

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everlarkficquestions · 3 years

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Sunday Stumped Day 35

It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!

Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on.

In this round, we are focusing on asks for specific stories. If your ask for a more general “type of” story is not included, it does not mean we are ignoring it, it just means we need more time to research and answer these asks.

If you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/ ask/ with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks. Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.

Thanks!

Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26, Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , Post 30, Post 31, Post 32, Post 33 and Post 34 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.

576. Anonymous said to everlarkficquestions: Hi, I am searching everlarkfic that I read couple years ago in ff.net. Post mockingjay, Katniss and Peeta are getting married then when they’ll rebuild Peeta's family bakery, peeta got collapse and they find out that he was dying. In the end peeta died. Annie and Katniss's mother had to move Katniss to district 4 to taking care of her. In district 4, Katniss met with gale and they were slowly building relationships from there?

577. its-hopeless-romantic said to everlarkficquestions: Hey,I am looking for fic in which Peeta is Katniss's college professor (he is 10 years older than her) and they fall in love. He is teaching history of art and I remember he invited her to the opening of his galery. I remembre that he goes to Italy to teach for a few months and before that he introduces her to his family. I think it has 2 long chapters in second one there is his proposal. (It's called Lessons in Love or something like, but I can't find it)thanks 💕💕💕

578. alwayseverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Looking for a in Panem fic (I think no games) , where Peeta is working in the mines and an accident happens and Katniss is looking for him thinking he’s dead , but Gale thinks she wa s looking for him instead and when he realizes , he’s mad at Katniss.I am not sure if this is one fic... or if I’m mixing two different fics...Thansk!

579. stonyspideypool said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a fanfic were I think katniss wants peeta to take control/be more dominant so she calls johanna and johanna tells her that peeta would never force himself on her and he has dealt with so much blue balls over the years that he's used to it or something (lmao) sorry that's all I remember 😅😅Love the page btw💙❤ literally its the only reason I'm on tumblr, thank you💕

580. amesielee said to everlarkficquestions:Hi I'm looking for a fanfic. It's either a one shot 2 shot or 3 shot and it's about Peeta and Katniss having sex. It's their first time and once it's over Peeta grabs a wash cloth for Katniss to help her out. She then gets mad and assumes he has done it before with Delly. I think Peeta didn't know it was her first time. And Peeta says maybe we are just good together. He then asks if she loves him. It's on Tumblr. I hope you can help xx

581. booksandeverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi there! Another story I remember reading but can’t think of the title. I know Leeta is older then Katniss. Peeta knew Katniss’ Parents and is their age. Katniss likes Peeta and Peeta keeps telling her he’s too old for her but she doesn’t care. They start to date and Katniss dad finds out before they can tell and eggs mad. I think Peeta also gets hurt protecting Katniss and how she reacts makes her dad see they are serious. Thanks so much for the help

582. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions:Trying to find a fic...modern au where katniss is with her friends (Annie Johanna Finnick Gale madge....) at a party and they find her the next morning in bed with Peeta?

(582) This could be I Dare You (To Stay) by Thewritershae - thank you @allie-rose

583. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Do you know of a fic where it the story is about each time peeta ruins a cake? I read it before but forgot the title. The last time was when he made Katniss a cake for her birthday but dropped it when she said she was pregnant. Thanks for everything you've done for this fandom btw :)

584. pleasantturtletheorist-blog said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! So this might be a tricky one (bc I don’t remember much of the plot lol) but basically in this fic Peeta was like “don’t deny me post-sex cuddles” or something along those lines hahah. And I remember the scene being really cute but I can’t remember much else about it. I know this is very vague but if you could help I’d really appreciate it!! 🥺🥺

(584) This is possibly Blowout by Annieoakley1. - Thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams

585. yeeyeejones73 said to everlarkficquestions:Hello:) I was wondering if y’all know the name of a fic where it’s canon post mockingjay and everlark is growing back together slowly. I remember peeta gets a boner while Katniss and him are sleeping. I also think Peeta accidentally sees Katniss in only her towel after a shower and it’s super cute and awkward. I hope y’all can help and also thanks for all y’all do!

586. superpineappleenthusiast said to everlarkficquestions:Hey, I'm looking for a fic where the tributes of 74th games escape the arena. Thanks!

587. anonymous-loner95 said to everlarkficquestions:What the fic where Peeta thinks he's about to sleep with some random girl, which I think is actually is Jo, but is tricked into a room with Katniss?

588. thatgirl56834 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! First of all, I love this blog! You guys rock! I’ve been looking for a one shot I used to read all the time. It was where Katniss and Peeta were friends in middle school and kissed after their dance but then Katniss moved away. Years later they ended up being neighbors and getting together. Peeta lied about who he was at first but then Katniss figured it out. If you know what this fic is, I’d love to read it again! 💗

588 FOUND! Wishes Old and New by Peetasbunmyoven. Thank you, @sunsetsrmydreams and @allie-rose

589. neonsnail said to everlarkficquestions:Hey I'm looking for a fic where peeta meets katniss and she has some kind of vision that if she gets pregnant prim dies and tries to stay away from peeta but she fails and then she sleeps with peeta to try to get pregnant and fails then disappears and they meet again a few years later and become a couple

589 FOUND! The story ha been identified as The Fool by Myusernamehere but unfortunately it has been deleted by the author. Thank you @katnissdoesnotfollowback

590. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: what’s the fic where Peeta cheats (post mockingjay) on Katniss and because of this she ends up with someone else?

591. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: Peeta and Katniss are in highschool and Peeta goes to prom with Madge and Katniss goes with Gale. She wears a burgundy dress and at the pre prom thing she meets an old friend from home named Josh.

592. tributeintraining said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a specific fanfic I read years ago. It's a modern AU where Katniss and Gale are in a band together. Katniss is the guitarist and doesn't sing. Gale is married to Madge but was having an affair with Katniss. The public finds out and she leaves the band. She goes solo and starts a PR relationship with Peeta. Her first solo performance is singing "Shake it out". That's all I remember. Thank!

593. supreme-doritos said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! im looking for a fic where the rebellion happens early and the capitol gets overthrown before the 74th hunger games by a tribute (then victor) from district 7. At one point katniss and peeta (who lost his leg in the bombing) look after haymitch but he ends up killing himself so they don't starve during a really harsh winter. Before he dies he asks katniss to give chaff a naked lady mug/glass (i cant remember the name lol sorry) Thank you! I really appreciate you guys <3

593 FOUND! The Avalanche And Little Pebbles by Dyce - thanks to @eggplant8

594. entwodreiquatrocinq-blog said to everlarkficquestions: So i'm looking for this fanfic I read once on FF.net. Peeta and Katniss are intimate in the catching fire arena, and later in district 13, she finds out that she pregnant. Peeta is either in a coma or captured and one of his brothers survived. I believe there is a fight between Katniss and the brother, and he says something like "just because you f'ed my brother in front of the entire country doesn't mean....." That's all I remember, I hope it's specific enough. :)

(594) Possibly The Sharp Edge of Memory by Titania522 - thanks @eggplant8

595. lettrsto said to everlarkficquestions:hi guys!! i can't remember for shit the name of this one shot, i guess it was written for promptsinpanem, where katniss dates gale, but haymitch hates his guts so k&g make a deal w peeta so katniss fake dates peeta while she's actually dating gale behind haymitch's back. can you guys give some help, pretty please? does it ring any light? thank you!!!!

(595) FOUND by the asker! Yours And Mine by Andthisisthewonder

596. jonerys-everlark said to everlarkficquestions:I remember a fanfic where Katniss and Peeta were in the 74th games when Katniss learns that Peeta is with the Careers, she remembers him telling her something (I think) but I know that she then waits until they are gone, and says to the audience something to the effect of , “I have something to say... he has not betrayed me, he is protecting me, as to his confession in the interview, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about it” or something like that, basically, she knows he is on her side an

Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!

#+#mod post #sunday stumped day #ssd 35 #we're stumped #576-596

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teabooksandsweets · 3 years

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All Creatures Great and Small

Facts, trivia and corrections of common misconceptions

As you probably know, I love James Herriot’s books and the BBC series All Creatures Great and Small. But reading posts online, from random comments on social media to actual newspaper articles, made me realise that not everything said about the books and especially the series is exactly correct, or at least not complete. And then of course, there’s also the usual questions askwed and answered (not always correctly) over and over again. So this post will address some of these things, simply because I care about it all.

James and Helen, Chris and Carol

The most common untruth spread about the series is that Christopher Timothy, who played James Herriot in the BBC series, left his first wife for an affair with Carol Drinkwater, who played Helen in the first three seasons, and that she was fired from the show because of it.

It was actually quite different. First of all: Carol was never fired! The show was cancelled after three seasons, as the books had finished at that time, and Carol returned for two following feature-lenght specials. It was only when, due to the books’ and the show’s popularity, Alf Wight (the real Herriot) decided to write new stories that the show was revived, and Carol, unhappy with a role that she liked but thought to limited, chose not to return.

As for the affair, that was different as well. There was a lot of bad press, especially for Carol, but Chris Timothy never left his wife for her. In fact, they didn’t even like each other at first: Carol had a mild crush on Robert Hardy, which she never pursued because he was married at the time, and didn’t get along with Christopher Timothy at all. Then, near the end of the first run of the show, they had to wait together in a car for a scene to begin filming, and they started to talk. His married had just ended at that time and he was very distraught, though he was not yet formally divorced, and she had just gone through a painful break up herself. They bonded over that, and got together. Chris was still married at that time, but seperated, and she was never the reason for his divorce. The press painted a different picture, one that is still spread nearly fourty years later, but it’s not true at all.

The Yorkshire farmers

Were all actors. People like to claim otherwise, but it is not true. Many people like to say that the farmers look too authentic to be played by actors, but that isn’t true. The actors were just very good at playing farmers, and not so famous as to be instantly recognised. Many were regional actors, from little theatres and comedy troupes, others were rather familiar, but not too well-known faces from television shows. They were not real farmers, they just did their work and did it well.

What about the vets?

The big question of the arms inside the cows. Did the actors really do the dirty work? Long story short: Yes.

But they didn’t do things on their own! No, no. The BBC hired to veterinarians, one for pets and studio scenes, one for farm animals and outdoor filming. The real vets trained the actors, helped them, and sometimes traded places with them for close ups on their hands. They even found sick animals to be treated for the filming, either by the actors under their guidance, or by themselves, depending on how difficult or serious the respective procedure and ailment were.

Some things, such as stitching wounds and helping with the calfing and lambing (the latter being rather normal for “country bumpkin” Robert Hardy, who was used to a lot of the work he had to do on screen) were done by the actors, including the (in)famous arms in the cows’ backsides. But never anything that could harm the animal! In fact, many animals were saved by the show, as the BBC paid for all treatments on set, which caused the real evts to take the pets of poor clients to the tv sets, even if they were never used for filming, and made the BBC pay the bills.

Fun fact, though: There’s a scene in which Peter Davison literally screams with his arm in a cow’s backside. That’s because his arm was tightly squeezed inside and he was in real pain. But don't worry, he got out alright, and the cow was okay too.

Science and progress

The illnesses and treatments were very accurate. People also like to claim otherwise, but that isn’t true. Many things, of course, are outdated now (and, ironically, many things that were seen outdated back then have become rather common again!) but the medical treatments are absolutely accurate for their time, and so is the portrayal of the scientific progress from the 30s to the 50s.

There are, of course, very individual cases, and unconventional treatments, but that happens if you base things on real life and memory, rather than textbooks. Those special cases are either things that really happened and worked a bit different than usual, or things that are very similar to real happenings (like real cases “blended” to make one fictional one, etc.) and not, in fact, pure invention. The books are, after all, written by a real vet, based on his own memory, and the show adopted all these cases very accurately.

Fact and fiction

Alf Wight still chose to make things up for his stories. Many details are changed from real life, such as changing Helen’s background very much from Joan’s and putting aquaintances from different decades into one setting. He also kept things from his perspective—things he didn’t know about his friends, were things he didn’t know, at least at that time, and that is how things stay.

Now the writers and actors of the show dug a bit deeper, and talked to Joan (Helen), the Sinclairs (the Farnons) and other people who play necessary parts. They added details that could give more depths to the stories, but also respected specific wishes for privacy, especially coming from Donald Sinclair.

Which brings me to:

What happened to Caroline?

Siegfried marries Caroline in the first Christmas special, but she is only mentioned (and sometimes briefly seen) in later episodes. Many people wonder if that means that their marriage ended or wasn’t good, but it’s very much different.

Caroline is based on Donald Sinclair’s real wife Audrey, whom he loved incredibly much. They had two children, which are also sometimes mentioned but never shown in the series. That is because Donald valued his privacy very much and wanted to protect his family from public attention.

Alf Wight first met Donald Sinclair as a young “bachelor” (actually widower, but he also kept that to himself) with many flings with pretty young women, and that’s how Siegfried was portrayed at first. But it couldn’t be kept like that always—it would have been silly for a middle-aged Robert Hardy to always invent visits to his mother to cover up various dates, and a character based on Donald, whose world revolved around his wife, could only be a bachelor in the very first few years of his acquaintance with Herriot. Donald Sinclair was unhappy with being shown dating various women, which he did before he married Audrey, even after three seasons, and he also didn’t want Audrey to be used for the show.

So it was decided that Siegfried were to have a wife, and children, and be very happily married in the later (initially unplanned) seasons, and that there were not to appear in television storylines. They lived off-screen, in their own big mansion, while Siegfried was working in Skeldale House. A woman-who-could-be-Caroline was sometimes seen when a partner was needed, and that’s it.

Donald’s first wife was never mentioned, also out of respect to his privacy, but Siegfried was portrayed to have a severe fear of loss and separation, and to cling very strongly to all his loved ones, as well as to have strong depressive and maniac episodes, which is said to be accurate to Donald Sinclair’s personality. This portrayal was, however, done very subtly.

Character and actor

Alf Wight said to Christopher Timothy that he was the Herriot that he wrote about. They got along very well, and Chris Timothy was considered the perfect actor for the part by him.

Donald Sinclair was, true to Siegfried’s character, always unhappy with the way he was portrayed, and the better and more accurate the portrayal got, the more dissatisfied got he. Robert Hardy was, according to people who knew Donald, absolutely perfect at playing him, and Donald himself was of a very different opinion. But he liked Robert very much, they became very close friends, and Robert actually worked as assistant in his surgery and sometimes their families lived together for filming and holiday periods. Both Alf Wight and Robert Hardy insisted that they “toned him down” while writing/playing him, even people who didn’t know him thought him “too much”.

Brian Sinclair was very happy about the way he was portrayed, and about the books and the show in general, and very relaxed about it all. He also really liked Peter Davison.

Joan was very critical of Carol Drinkwater at first, and thought she made her look like a tart, but warmed up to her later and talked well of her performance in retrospect.

The second girl to play Rosie Herriot, Alison Lewis, was friends with Rosie’s real-life daughter Emma. Rosie didn’t expect her to play the part, and was very surprised to see herself played by her daughter’s friend on tv!

Marjorie Warner, the inspiration for Mrs Pumphrey, was one of the first people to recognise herself on the page while reading the books, and was very happy about the way she was portrayed. It is, as far as I am informed, unknown whether she liked the tv series, but she was still alive when the first seasons were made.

As for the actors

It was Robert Hardy who made much of it all possible. His fame allowed the BBC to cast the relatively unknown Christopher Timothy in the lead role, which they first wanted to cast a famous actor for, and it was him who insisted on making Tristan a larger character, because he greatly enjoyed Peter Davison and set his mind on making the young man a star. He also threatened to leave the show if it were filmed anywhere but Yorkshire, and he also forced the BBC to treat the actors and animals better, and insisted on the necessary safety around the animals. After Chris Timothy’s accident, he insisted that he shouldn’t be re-cast and took up some of the work he couldn’t to, and made Peter and Carol do the same. That aside, he edited, revised and changed some of the scripts, and wrote some of his own scenes. When some younger writers messed up Siegfried in the later episodes, he largely took over himself.

Robert Hardy and Peter Davison actually grew extremely fond of each other. Robert insisted that Peter looked exactly like one of his brothers at that age, and he loved the way Peter tried to impersonate his mannerisms to make them feel more like a family.

Christie the whippet was Robert Hardy’s real dog, the other dogs belonged to producers and other crew members. Some sources claim that all dogs were his, but that isn’t true. SIegfried’s horses were usually actor-horses but he sometimes rode his own on screen.

Mary Hignett was the balancing force between the actors. Everyone loved and admired her, and whenever there was a bad mood between the others, she quickly got them all calm again, just as Mrs Hall used to do. Her sudden death shortly after the (original) end of the show was a great shock to all of them, and Mrs Hall died with her. She was greatly loved by everyone.

Margaretta Scott was also very respected and beloved. She always insisted on carrying the various dogs who played Tricki-Woo on set, and she would only have her make up done by the chief make up artist.

Robert Hardy’s was usually called Tim, as his real first name was Timothy, which he was also occassionally called, and which caused some confusion on the set.

Christopher Timothy had a car crash at the end of the filming of the first season, in which he broke his legs, which is the reason he walked on a stick and had a very stiff walk for some time.

Robert Hardy’s daughter Emma has a very serious riding accident before the filming of the first season, in which she was badly injured, and which made her father rather sensitive to the horse-related safety on set, and insist that everything must be done right and no risks taken. She fully recovered, and actually played the small part of Rosemary Brocklehurst in the series, thirteen years later.

Lynda Bellingham was pregnant during the filming of season five, which is the reason for the slipped disc storyline. Andrea Gibb, who played Deirdre, was also pregnant at that time, but her part was smaller and was simply away for some episodes, and wore some covering clothes.

#all creatures great and small #acgas #james herriot

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franeridart · 3 years

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Anon said: Are you still into krbk? I noticed you haven't draw them a lot recently (I don't mean to pressure you, I was just wondering)

I still very much am!!! but a convergence of unrelated happenings (my focus being unusually scattered, lack of general motivation, them not having interacted much in the manga lately, my having pulled out of the fandom a little for a bunch of reasons, having gotten into a lot of new things I want to make a lot of stuff for ??) had my output of stuff for them/inspiration related to them die down a lot ): I miss them though, I should fill a page with doodles of them one of these days... well, I haven’t drawn much in genereal lately, so maybe let’s start first with fixing that haha

Anon said: Fun Fact : In smash bros ultimate there are spirits with octopath traveler and they're in pairs and guess what ? Alfyn and Therion are together :3

I KNOW!!!!!! It makes me so emo I’m a bundle of feelings they’re soulmates I tell youuuuuuuuuuu ;;A;; (little inconsequential things making me a mess, what’s new xD) - another fun fact is that h’aanit and ophilia share one too!! and I ship them too!! and cyrus and tressa share one as well, and they’re my brother’s mains in his save! A series of delightful little coincidences haha

Anon said: Will you be drawing more Jujutsu Kaisen? I love your art sm and I would love to see more!!!!

Right now I feel like I want to spend the next ten years drawing these kids, so I sure hope so! But as I said my focus has been very scattered for the past three or so months, so I can’t promise anything ): let’s both enjoy it while it lasts haha

Anon said: You are my emotional support artist. I check back every once and a while and BOOM. Serotonin.

You’re too kind!!!! But thank you, I’m glad I can make you feel better! :D

Anon said: i'm super new to your art (and mha) and i just wanted to say your krbk stuff is just !!!!!!! it makes me so happy and makes my poor jaded heart feel something and it's just all around incredible!!!

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad you like my way of portraying the kids!!!!

Anon said: I’m about to cry I’ve spent an hour looking though your bnha tag for that lil comic where Kiri hugs Baku and. It. Sent. Me. Back. To. The. Top. I didn’t even get to finish reading it. I’m so upset. So. So. So. Upset.

(same) Anon said: OH MY GOSH IT KEEPS SENDING ME TO THE TOO I HATE MOBILE AND LOVE YOU I LVOE YOU BUT THIS WEBSITE IS K I L L I N G ME I JIST WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS AS KIRI ATTEMPTS TO HUG BAKUGOU BUT NOOOO, AN HOUR OF MY TIME ISNT ENOUGH SAYS THE TIME STEALER

(samesame) Anon said: I. Found the hug thing. On Pinterest. In. Five. Seconds. I hate life but also it was really cute. Thank you but seriously I hate this website

The saga hahaha sorry anon I couldn’t get to you before you went out of your mind trying to find it, I got the asks in the middle of the night! Glad you could find it, though I’m kinda sad you had to look on pinterest for it (...sad it is on pinterest at all tbh) here it is anyway, if this is the one you were talking about! you really went back in the years for this one huh

Anon said: So for that thing that you made a w h i l e ago where Bakugou ruffles Kirishima’s hair, right? So I imagine Kiri is like w h a t and calls over Mina or Denki or Sero or all of them or something like that and tells them and is freaking out and they’re like “he wasn’t in the right mindset, you know he sleeps at 8:32” and make a joke out of it as Kiri is freaking out. And Kiri is freaking out soooo much as they are crying laughing on the floor at Bakugou’s sleeping schedule.

hahaha I’m sure he must have freaked out on them at some point after that, and bakugou must have done the same (probably with jirou, less likely but more hilarious with todoroki or tokoyami haha) - though, the original idea came from a bigger one where the scene in the comic didn’t bring them anywhere closer to getting together (or figuring out they’re into each other, for the matter lmao idiots) maybe one day I’ll get back on that >:]

Anon said: In your comments, you said “at this point my hands will never forget” and I had a nozaki-kun memory float into my head, imagining him sick and trying to make his deadline xD yes muscle memory

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anon you have no idea how often I think about that hahaha yes, I say my hands won’t forget but we all know that’s exactly how it’ll end at some point lol

Anon said: dang this happens all the time like I follow someone for their bnha content and then like two months after following them I find out they used to make yowapeda content and im just sitting their like dang thats wild because bnha and yowapeda are like the only two animes I watch

ANON!!!! HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Always so nice to find other ywpd fans!!!!!!!! Sorry I’m not making art for it anymore (for now) but despite my sister insisting I read the manga already I’ve been putting it off......for years lol but it’s on my reading list!! So maybe I’ll get back on it at some point!

Anon said: FRAN!!!!!! i love ur art so much and im trying to buy ur products on redbubble and i geniunely cant decide what to get!!!!! i tired asking my friend but she doesnt know which one either hahahahhahah ig i just wanted to send this because i really appreciate u and u are very talented. im sending u lots of high vibrations and love❤️🧡

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!! It means so much to me that you guys are still buying my stuff (TTATT) I should...........seriously update it..........gomen m(._.)m

Anon said:YES YES YEEES MORE ALFYON ON THE WAYYYYYY 💖💖💖💖💖 They're both the cutest really their ship is the beeest Try reading some the alfyon fanfics if you have some time, they're really good ! The one i really recommend you is Crismonberries, blackberries by court_court on Ao3 !Your art is the best ever can't wait to see more octopath !!💖💖💖

Anon thank you SO MUCH for suggesting that fic to me I!!!!!!!!!!!! loved it so much I deep-dived into it and spent two straight days reading it it’s such a gem!!!!! ;;; bless you

Anon said: Have you watched Fullmetal Alchemist?

Hell yeah! Only Brotherhood though. I read the manga too tho!!

Anon said: Have you read Noragami? It’s one of my favourite manga, and the anime isn’t half bad either (still waiting for s3 tho lol) anyway it’s really good, concept-wise it’s similar to Soul Eater, I totally recommend

I watched the first season back when it aired! It’s not really my thing though ): feels a bit sad in that very specific way that always ends up just making me miserable as I keep reading............................... sorry

Anon said: I will never not be in love with your art. Everytime I'm feeling down and/or missing the boys I scroll through your krbk tag and it reminds me exactly of why I love them so much and I'm so thankful for that. Your brand of krbks is the one I love the most and honestly thank you so much for all your marvelous art of them and of other things as well because you art is just so pretty and I love seeing your ocs and other fandom art 💕💕💕

Anon I love you......................... ;;;;; thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me (oTT^TT)o<3

#fran answers #long post #chatter chatter chatter #you guys are always so nice to me man #every time i write out one of these posts i'm overwhelmed by just how much love piles up in my inbox #sob #love you all

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wangisking · 3 years

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𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐘

BASICS. FULL NAME : Augustus Alexander Wang NICKNAME : August and Gus ( in general ), Auggie, Ice Prince, and Guggie ( by Aurora ). Aug and Lestat ( by Jack ), NAME MEANINGS : Augustus is Latin for the great / the magnificent. Alexander is also Latin and means defender of mankind. From what I know, Wang in Chinese means king. HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : Though, his dad did think of the Roman Emperor Augustus when they named him, they liked the meaning. It seemed to fit him. They weren’t wrong, he was an emperor and he still has that energy. AGE : 22. Like Aurora, he can’t age past 22. He wouldn’t have minded either way. BIRTHDAY : 5th April ETHNIC GROUP : Augustus is half Korean and half Brazilian. NATIONALITY : British LANGUAGES : fluent in English and French. Conversational Latin. Broken Korean. Learning Urdu. SEXUAL ORIENTATION : demi-heterosexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : demi-heterosexual RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Single and doesn’t want to mingle. He had only one serious relationship in the past with Aurora Shams from 2017-2019. CLASS : Upper class, Wealthy but not private-jet kind of wealthy. HOME TOWN / AREA : London till he was 10 and Vancouver till he was 17 CURRENT HOME : Los Angeles PROFESSION : Drummer, songwriter, model, and student. PHYSICAL. HAIR : long and wavy. Chestnut brown. Here is an example. It goes down his earlobes in length. EYES : piercing, almond-shaped eyes. Naturally brown, but he wears blue or green contact lenses. NOSE : a Greek nose, straight without bumps. FACE : Oblong shaped, sharp and chiseled cheekbones, strong jaw. Masculine features. Example. LIPS : not full nor thin, heart shaped. COMPLEXION : pretty pale. Example is same as the face section. SCARS : one on his chest. TATTOOS : a very small ‘10/17′ on his left rib. PIERCINGS: earlobes HEIGHT : 6′5″ or 195cm. BUILD : Inverted triangle. Broad, tapered shoulders. Muscular. Defined, sculpted abs. Long limbs. Broad chest. He was naturally towards the muscular side with broad shoulders and chest. He’s never been on the skinny side. Example one and two USUAL HAIR STYLE : he lets his hair do their thing, he styles them a little, but he prefers a messier vibe. USUAL FACE LOOK : He looks generally bored. His eyes have a piercing look that seem to be drilling into the person before him. Like he can see right through you. There is an insolent smirk tugging at his lips like he thinks you’re amusing. Almost proud, like he thinks he is above you. There is depth and intensity in his eyes that stare skywards in thought. There is also mischievous, radiant glimmer in his eyes. USUAL CLOTHING : prince charming meets rockstar. Lots of jackets, darker colors, boots, necklaces and rings. Here is his wardrobe. PSYCHOLOGY. FEARS : claustrophobia and the fear of ending up alone. He always had this creeping feeling that he’d be alone in the end and that he was always meant to be alone. ASPIRATIONS : he doesn’t have any set aspirations. They change every now and then. However, his goals are just to keep his found family happy. POSITIVE TRAITS : extremely charismatic, intelligent, academic and studious, alluring and attractive, quick-witted, charming and captivating, articulate and eloquent, adventurous, desirable, analytical, brilliant, friendly, enthusiastic, adaptable, observant, kind, mellow, competent, extremely caring and protective over those closest to him, clever, loyal, clear-headed, confident, humorous, courageous, imaginative and creative, a visionary, refined tastes and manners, daring, dignified, ebullient, deep, remarkable, surprisingly he’s very forgiving, forthright, gallant, logical, gentlemanly and sophisticated, perfectionist, popular, self-reliant, shrewd, witty, suave, curious, and resourceful. NEGATIVE TRAITS : egocentric, self-obsessed, idle, indifferent, selfish, defiant, arrogant, argumentative, rebellious, kinda lazy, stubborn, distracted, doesn’t really care for morals, blunt, can appear insensitive a lot, is insensitive at times, no filters, can be cold for those he doesn’t care for, emotionally immature, deflects emotions, suppresses his feelings, sorta detached, kinda pessimistic, and unknowingly self-sacrificing because he thinks it’s fair and he deserves it. MBTI : ENTP ( Ne dominant, Ti auxiliary, Fe tertiary, and Si inferior — this means she can’t use Ni, Se, Te, and especially can’t use Fi). He perceives the world by connecting dots, thinking of never-ending possibilities, looking for pieces of a puzzle, and finding meaning in abstract. He makes judgments on if what he perceives fits his internal logic. ZODIAC : Aries sun, Gemini rising, Sagittarius moon. TEMPERAMENT : sanguine choleric ANIMALS : parrots and cats because they’re both intelligent but little pieces of shit who enjoy making your life hell. VICE : it’s either his ego or how he ends up detaching himself FAITH : currently, he’s Mu.slim. He was born protestant, became an atheist when he was 13, agnostic at 14. Bud.dhist at 15. Taoist at 16. Confucianist at 17. Mu.slim at 19. Doesn't practice it though. GHOSTS ? : yep.. AFTERLIFE ? : yep REINCARNATION ? : he guesses so. Went through it, but doesn’t remember. ALIENS ? : hell yeah. POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : liberal. ECONOMIC PREFERENCE : upper class or upper middle class is good with him. EDUCATION LEVEL : MSci in Physics from the University of Cambridge. Is opting to specialize in astrophysics soon. FAMILY. FATHER : Edward Wang, owner of a chain of fine dining restaurants MOTHER : Elisa Violeta Wang, psychiatrist, deceased STEP MOTHER : Chaeyoung Wang, lawyer. SIBLINGS : Cassandra Wang, athlete EXTENDED FAMILY : he is not close with his external family and doesn’t know his birth mother’s family at all. They never wanted him. FAVOURITES. BOOK : Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Galactic Dynamics by James Binney, Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Mukarami, Slaughter house Five by Kurt Vonnegut, War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, and Lord of the Flies by William Golding. MOVIE : Scott Pilgrim vs The World 5 SONGS : All You Want - Dashboard Prophets, Tokyo Smoke - Cage the Elephant, Where is My Mind? - The Pixies, Sparks - Coldplay, Lithium - Nirvana, and Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra DEITY : none. Let him argue with one and ask for proof of their deity-ness. HOLIDAY : Halloween. It’s dramatic and fun. MONTH : October, because he met Aurora and Jack this month in 2017. SEASON : spring and summer. PLACE : he doesn’t have a specific place, but he prefers European architecture. WEATHER : cloudy and windy. Sunny if it isn’t too hot. SOUND : drums and percussions, the sound of aurora and jack’s laugh, guitars, violins, the sound of wind roaring, music boxes, and the clinking of bangles and jewelry. SCENTS : sage, rosemary, and damascus roses. TASTES : chocolate, strawberries, chilies, and fried food. FEELS : the feeling of hitting the drums, wind in his hair, the cold night air, warm morning sun, grass against his fingertips, silk, and touching long hair. ANIMALS : cats and dogs. NUMBER : 8 COLORS : white, cherry red, pink, maroon, wine red, black, and silver. EXTRA. TALENTS : he is an extremely talented drummer, good at guitar and the piano, he is talented at songwriting, composing music, he’s exceptionally good at mathematics and physics, analytical skills, storytelling, knows a lot of facts, near photographic memory because he remembers all important historical events with dates and details, academic writing, and brainstorming ideas. BAD AT : cooking, not very good at driving because he gets distracted, doing one task at a time, playing videogames, actually listening to what people say, being humble, and actually being a good leader. TURN ONS : this is a complicated question. He needs a very strong emotional connection to feel sexual attraction towards someone. And he only felt it for one person in his whole life. But, what sparked that attraction was a brilliant mind and the ability to connect with his mind on a very different level. It’s not going to repeat with anyone else. TURN OFFS : literally everyone else. He’s not sorry, but I am. HOBBIES : playing the drums, writing and composing songs, reading, solving problems, listening to music, watching shows, getting people to do weird shit, and annoying people. AESTHETIC : crowns, drums, broken drumming sticks, abstract art, the vast space, chess boards, album cases, thrones, the echoing sound of pianos, Greek sculptures, galaxies and nebulas, early morning sunrise through curtains, libraries, equations scribbled on napkins, empty museums, unmade white sheets, polaroid cameras, conspiracy theories, VHS tapes, antique books, cobblestone alleyways, night skies, cluttered books, calloused fingers, crumpled composition pages, guitar picks, vinyl, telescopes, and planets. Basically: abstract, chaotic academia, cryptid academia, dark academia, indie, kingcore, light academia, musical academia, science academia, spacecore, QUOTES : it’s weird but i can’t decide which one fits him. FC INFO. MAIN FC : victor han ALT FC : n/a. OLDER FC : he can’t age past 22, so he doesn’t need one. YOUNGER FC : none yet. VOICE CLAIM : both speaking and singing (his accent is posh British with a slight hint of Canadian) MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie , what would it be called , what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about ? A1 : The same answer as Aurora, The Tale of Solis et Lunae that stars him alongside Aurora, Lunae, Jack, and Tate, plus more. A cosmic adventure / fantasy / coming of age / superhero / the reluctant hero / the chosen one. His role is of Aurora’s best friend and her greatest support in emotional and supernatural dangers. He is the time traveler who ascends time and space, so he often also gives her insight and information like the sage. It’ll expand across dimensions, worlds, and different states of existence. The scenes would be cinematic with a strong soundtrack. I imagine him to have some scenes like Quick Silver in the X-Men movies. Q2 : What would their soundtrack / score sound like ? A2 : He would have a 90s grunge or spacey dream rock sound. It ties in with the end of the last answer because i see him in one of those scenes with 90s grunge or maybe classical music ? Q3 : Why did you start writing this character ? A3 : I made Augustus just a bit before Aurora. They were a two part deal. I don’t know when it began, I just had this image of a tall, long haired boy with piercing, intelligent eyes who’s a smart-ass and likes being a know-it-all nuisance. This character has been the same since he began in 2019 and refused to change. He was always a drummer, he always had the same fashion sense, the look, Gus was always half-Korean, he always had long fingers he wore rings on, and he was always Aurora’s best friend/partner in crime. He remains unchanged and that's why I wanted to write him. This very vivid image of this boy was something I had to pen down. And just my luck, I found a fc who looks exactly how Gus looked in my head. Q4 : What first attracted you to this character ? A4 : Augustus is just extraordinary. It’s something I always felt about him and Aurora and I don’t see any of my other characters coming anywhere close to them regardless of how much I spent time on them. But with Augustus, his entire image and looks and personality — down to his wardrobe and jewelry was always so vivid in my head. Like I knew this very chaotically handsome boy who was going to turn the world upside down. His story is interesting, but what interests me more is his perspective on his story. The way he looks at his life and how he is quiet and doesn’t show his pain. How confused he always is. How much he aches but never seems so. The way he loves but doesn’t say even a quarter of the intensity he feels. And how sometimes he believes he deserves suffering because it makes sense to him. I also love the connections he makes and the way he loves so deeply and profoundly but underneath the surface. His connection, love, fears, and hopes with Aurora and Jack for their respective reasons are extremely beautiful. Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. ? A5 : Augustus is unknowingly self-sabotaging. He let go the only relationship / love in his life that made him feel like real love just because he thought he didn’t deserve it. And because when he was provoked, it made “sense” to him. He bottles his emotions and pain so much despite their intensity. He never shows how much he really cares and really hurts. And how sure he is that he’ll end up alone without friends and that it makes sense to him. Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse ? A6 : Here’s a fun answer, because I bottle my emotions like him. I also interact with the carefree way he does even if I don’t feel peachy. He’s smart and witty and really hot and I don’t even have that going on for me. So, yikes. Only of Gus’ bad things I share. Q7 : How does your muse feel about you ? A7 : Gus loves interacting with people so he’ll definitely show up to annoy me. Maybe, he might think I’m fun to annoy? Or maybe, we’ll have a similar sense of humor. I think he won’t dislike me. Not sure if he’ll like me. I think he’d think I’m funny in a strange sort of way. Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ? A8 : Aurora, first of all. They have this same brain wave-length thing going on where they’re partners in crime and bffs forever more. He knows how she is feeling and what she’s thinking even before she utters it. If she is about to sneeze, he’d get a tissue ready. He can tell if she is hungry or sleepy with one glance. She can do the same, so they sorta have this weird understanding of each other. Jack is this older brother figure Augustus loves. He won’t admit it, but he kinda wants to make Jack proud of him. He also wants to provide love and care to Jack that he thinks he deserves but never got. They’re his family now and he’ll never be alone or sad again. He annoys Jack a lot but behind it all, he just wants Jack to think he is needed and he belongs. That if he thinks Augustus is reliant on him, then he has this family he has to protect and care for. He can’t stand the thought of Jack feeling unloved, forgotten, alone. Tida is another one. There’s this great respect and adoration Gus has for him. Almost like he looks up to him in some ways He also has a lot of hopes and expectations attached. He feels Tida is everything that Gus himself lacks. He is the ideal boyfriend, kindest person, shows his emotions vividly, and is like a warm and cozy blanket personified. He is probably Tida and Aurora’s biggest supporter and first one to know. He can’t be happier than he is that Aurora found someone as good and perfect as Tida. Taewon is one really fun character. Their two-way frenemy jealousy spans over years and started in Cambridge when they were both in love with the same girl they claimed to be best friends with. Though, trying to be calm, Augustus was constantly provoked and hurt, made to feel inferior and constantly in fear of his relationship being broken by Taewon’s schemes that he couldn’t say out loud. This dark period ended with a fist fight and baggage of guilt they both carry to this day for hurting each other and the one they claimed to love. Today, they’re way past that and frenemies who have funny quips and arguments for each other. They say they dislike each other. But if the lighting is good, one would be the photographer of the other. Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ? A9 : Music helps me imagine scenes with perfect visual details. Any scenes from shows that remind me of my storylines. Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ? A10 : I don’t remember. It was many days and I didn’t count because it was in bits and pieces.

#╰ ♛ 𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐀 ━━ the king of gods #long post #i finally did this!

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yicruz48 · 4 years

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Teen Titans Review: Annual #2 Part 2

August/26/2020

Part 1

This again pushes the narrative of Damian as the angry aggressor with no self-control nor a ability to be conscious of how his own actions hurt other people.

I am not denying that Damian hasn’t been extreme before or has a temper but if written correctly he would have enough awareness to feel guilt for what he did to Emiko and not act so aggressively towards Bruce.

This is another section of the issue that I feel conflicted about how to feel about this for several reasons:

-> The things Damian says in these panels aren’t all false :

I wouldn’t be sincere in this review if I didn’t acknowledge the truth to Damian’s comparison. In the last two years real time the Wayne Manor has become a sort of coffin and tomb. A manor that only carries the echoes of those who used to live there.

After a while, I could imagine it would be distressing to visit the Manor because it would remind them of the people who weren’t there anymore.

-> I fear Anti’s will look at these panels and try to justify Damian as a bad person:

I asked my older brother (Who doesn’t know much about comics besides the bit I tell him) to read the interactions in this issue and give me his opinion on them.

“To me it feels like the writer is trying to show Damian is conflicted and not in the right headspace therefore showing him erupting into a fight with Bruce violently but...I can definitely see how someone who doesn’t like Damian could turn this narrative against him.”

And I agree with him. As much as dislike these direction in writing for Damian, I do see what Thompson was trying to do here (and since the beginning of the run). It hasn’t been executed well, but he has been trying to get the reader to sympathize with Damian (more than Glass that is).

And I believe it is trying to show that Damian is at his wits end, not thinking right-well-I mean-Damian hasn’t been thinking right in TT since 2018, but I guess he’s really not in the right headspace.

But I have the same fear that my brother mentioned, if you look at these same panels through the same lens of someone who doesn’t particularly like Damian you look at this and think is horrible. I can already imagine what they’d say:

“Look at how badly Damian treats his father!”

Although your supposed to look at this as Damian having a outburst after keeping in it for so long and not being emotionally-neglected by his father.

“Alfred’s death was hard for Bruce too, Damian needs to stop acting like he is the only one who is hurt.”

Even though Bruce is an adult and Damian is a teen(a severely-damaged one at that) and you know...BRUCE DIDN’T COMFORT DAMIAN AFTER ALFRED DIED...

And this further expressed in Detective Comics where Damian causally mentions that he is surprised that his father contacted him.

Like...um...Damian is a 13-year-old boy...are you really telling me Bruce hasn’t contacted his own underaged son especially after Alfred died?

“Dick just got shot and lost his memories. He didn’t die. Why is he acting like he died?”

I talk more about Damian’s and Dick’s relationship here.

But to put it simply, Dick is one of the only people Damian trusts to be vulnerable with. Damian is extremely independent yet depends on him the most. This is expressed many times in the beginning of rebirth (specifically in the Nightwing and Batman comics). Losing that connection is extremely damaging to Damian.

Moving on, I actually appreciated this scene with Crush. I happy that she kept the group from intervening between Bruce and Damian.

With the track record of how “great” the Teen Titans are at handling situations them getting in the middle of the fight would’ve made this worse.

Plus I liked that she recognized that this was something personal. So far, I’ve felt like the majority of the Teen Titans have antagonized Damian and it felt refreshing to see Crush realize that Damian’s actions are more personal than they thought.

But at the same time, I don’t know how to take this. I feel like they also wrote this in order prop her up to be the new leader in the next issues so at the same time it feels a little insincere.

I already said this in part 1 of the review but I am grateful for the decency DC or Thompson had to give us some personal reasonings for his actions, but again, it doesn’t work as a good trigger nor does it hold the same hype it would’ve if written earlier when it happened, not months after it happened.

One of the only things about these panels that I have to say is that I saw some people theorizing on twitter that perhaps Damian was expecting to be punished by his father because of how his other brothers have been treated by Bruce. But I really don’t know myself how to interpret it.

Why is Damian questioning why Bruce isn’t fighting back?

-> Was he expecting Bruce to punish him?

-> Was Damian expecting his father to challenge his new beliefs?

Because Bruce doesn’t really challenge Damian’s beliefs at the end, if anything, it seems like Bruce gives up trying to reason with Damian.

Which is sad if you look back to this panel in Batman and Robin 2011:

Jumping back on track, and then we have this panel:

Which is yet again another panel that I feel conflicted about.

I guess it’s nice Bruce finally told his son that he loves him, but also it’s a little to late now. Bruce should’ve expressed compassion to Damian when he had the chance, and he had a lot chances to do this:

-> On his 13th birthday.

-> By being more involved in his life.

-> When Dick got shot to remind Damian he had someone there for him despite Dick not being there.

-> When Alfred died in front of him. That was most likely traumatizing for him, would’ve been nice to have someone there to comfort him.

I feel like I keep repeating myself, but again, this four pages are difficult to interpret.

“Everything...lead...to...THIS”

-> I’m taking this as Damian concluding that being Robin (and everything that encompasses including the no killing rule) lead to him losing people he loved and eventually not being Robin.

“You will never truly see me so long as I am in your shadow.”

-> Damian thinking that Bruce won’t take him seriously if he is Robin?

-> Thinking that Bruce won’t ever truly see who he really is if he is Robin?

“Now I am finally free.”

-> Damian implicating that being Robin was a burden and/or restricted him from doing what he thinks is “right?”

As a Damian stan the last four pages were the most painful to read. Seeing Damian leave the Robin title frustrates me soo much.

Conclusions and Predictions:

-> This issue was not as bad as I thought (but still bad):

For one, I am glad Bruce didn’t beat up Damian.

I am glad they had the decency to give Damian more personal reasons to go down this path even if it was late.

-> (I’m gonna start talking about the art more in my reviews)

Pansica is a very talented artist BUT I personally don’t think he was the best choice to draw a comic with teens. The adults in this issue were drawn great but I feel like drawing teens is not his strong point.

There was points in this comics were Damian looked unpleasant and I think it was because Pansica tends to be very detailed although a lot detail does a disservice to drawing teens. As a artist myself, I lay off the details when drawing children since it often ages them more if you put more detail.

Maiolo’s colors are good. I don’t know if it was a conscious decision or not but the dullness of the color really emphasizes the darker vibe of this issue.

-> Thompson didn’t fail me this issue, he still manage to make me hate Roundhouse more than last issue :)

He also really pushed that unnecessary Emiko X Wallace ship in the middle of this issue. I think the bothers me about this relationship is that they gotten closer because of Damian killing. I really don’t vibe with that.

-> Bruce just suddenly offering a hug after giving Damian death stares at the beginning just confuses me.

-> Teen Titan’s didn’t ever take Deathstroke go and basically let him go unless he’ll be appearing next issue.

-> So far Damian sucks as being a villian/anti-hero, he failed both at killing KGBeast and Deathstroke.

-> Hate that once again, most of the blame was thrown at Damian.

->To Damian, being Robin was the best thing to happen to him.

It allowed him to see the mistakes in his past(that he was made to do) and work towards becoming a better person...in other words, it granted him an opportunity to redeem himself.

Not only that, but it granted him the opportunity to honor the people who helped him become a better person (Dick and Bruce).

And even Damian felt like he needed to “prove” that he could be Robin because I think even Damian felt like he didn’t deserve it or wasn’t good enough.

What this comic has done with him is atrocious and will always be no matter the outcome.

I have a petition related to Damian here. I would appreciate it if you shared and signed.

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