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#also I've been doing this shit on my phone cause i never really use my actual drawing tablet which must connect to my comp
everchem · 1 month
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doodle of the grimy loser
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he's in utter agony someone please save him
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dazais-guardian-angel · 2 months
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went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠
#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years#not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion#so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all#but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all.#it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid)#and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable.#but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him#i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted#and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried.........#the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms#i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still#and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :)))))#insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case#i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!)#but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man.#it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/#why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly???#while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING???#if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now#but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃#shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience#and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over#he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday#and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now.#i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again..#i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh#(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh)#at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*
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wen-kexing-apologist · 5 months
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Top 5 platonic friendship moments
Thank you SO much for asking me this, I love friendship!!!!
Nick and Sand Kissing in Only Friends, Ep. 9
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gif by @aprilblossomgirl
I know you have your thoughts on Only Friends at this point because of how it ended, but there were a lot of things I do think Only Friends got right, one of my favorites being the platonic make out session between Nick and Sand. I mean, we talked about this before. It felt so queer, and it also did a really great job showing the difference between platonic and romantic feelings, because the kiss gave us nothing, and did the same for Team Second Option. I will forever love the fact that they made out, giggled, cuddled, and then giggled some more about it because it was kinda awkward and a little embarrassing, but they love each other as friends and that kiss changed literally nothing about their dynamic.
Porjai giving Mhok a Massage in Last Twilight, Ep 6
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gif by @khaopybara
I like that some of the shows this year are starting to get in to the relationship dynamics of exes who stayed friends after. Like, listen, I've never been in a relationship before, and I know why it does happen where exes never really speak again, but it never made sense to me why 99% of the ex-partner relationship dynamics I've ever seen are bad. Like, this is a person who matter so much to you, and then you're just never going to see them or talk to them again? I love this massage moment that Porjai has with Mhok especially because it feels familial and familiar and friendly, and it is the scene that made me be like "man I can't believe they used to date" in exactly the same way that Porjai was confused when Day called Mhok her boyfriend.
Wataru Being a Little Shit on Shiro's Birthday in What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2, Ep. 7
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Wataru is such a little shit, and I love him desperately, and his whole relationship with Shiro and Kenji is so strange. He's such a complainer, and while it can feel like the four gay men in this show hang out and are friends because they are the only gay people they know, it is moments like these that sell their actual friendship for me. Sending your friend a bouquet with a MASSIVE 50 balloon in it because you know it'll piss them off is pique best friend behavior.
Gay Boy Cuddle Pile in A Boss and a Babe, Ep. 9
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gif by @paisky
I am not immune to a gay boy cuddle pile. I will never be immune to a gay boy cuddle pile.
Having had multiple conversations with a straight male friend about how much cis men lack platonic, physical touch from friends I now get emo about when boys hug, cuddle, kiss cheeks, hold hands with each other especially if they are not dating or hoping to date.
Rose Trying to Steal Charn's Phone in Laws of Attraction, Ep. 4
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gif by @panncakes
It's such sibling energy, and I love it so much. As an immature adult, I love when adultier adults than me are shown being childish/immature themselves. No one should be expected to be put together all the time, and I moments like these show such a beautiful form of love.
and cause Laws of Attraction is technically a lakorn...
Sailom and Yiwa in the entirety of Wedding Plan
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They love each other so much they were going to enter a Lavendar Marriage just so that Yiwa especially could be free. I can't say much about them because if I start talking about them I won't stop. But it is by far the most sacred form of platonic love we've had all year.
ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL 2023
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kolyasupremanxy · 1 year
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Heyyy
So I had this really weird thought last night...how would the bsd boys (especially Nikolai, Dazai, Chuuya and Fyodor) react, coming home to their girlfriend, who is laying on bed (with ear phones in and a deep frown on her face) after a long/stressful day and just stares at the ceiling and they try to get her all happy and joyful again ig?😂😂
I just KNOW Nikolai would absolutely use that position to jump on her and tickle/cuddle the living shit outta her
Sorry if that's too much, you're just the best bsd writer outta there😍
𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐝𝐚𝐲
𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 𝐆𝐨𝐠𝐨𝐥 , 𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐞𝐯𝐬𝐤𝐲 , 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 , 𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 , 𝐄𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Fluff , Comfort
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.04k
𝐀/𝐧: I love this idea, anon, because I've been having a very bad day these days lol. Also, no, I'm not even good at writing. It's moonchery, ashthemadwriter, and stinkyme for me. They're my faves. Thanks for the compliment though.
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—𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐢 𝐆𝐨𝐠𝐨𝐥
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As soon as Nikolai stepped into the room, he noticed his girlfriend laying on the bed with her earphones in, staring blankly at the ceiling. A frown etched deep on her face, indicating that it had been a tough day for her.
Without any warning, Nikolai pounced on the bed, landing next to her and causing the mattress to bounce slightly. His arms immediately went around her, trapping her in a warm embrace, as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck.
"Hey, my little birdie, what's wrong?" he asked, his breath tickling her skin.
She flinched slightly before realizing who it was and removing her earphones. Her face broke into a small smile at the sight of Nikolai's silly grin and sparkling eyes.
"Long day at work, Nikolai," she said, sighing.
Nikolai's eyes widened, and he pulled back slightly to look at her face. "Aw, my poor little dove," he said, pouting. "Come here, let me make it better."
Before she could say anything else, Nikolai's fingers were already digging into her sides, eliciting a loud squeal from her as she squirmed under his touch. He tickled her relentlessly, grinning as he watched her laughter bubble up, filling the room with her joyous sounds.
As her laughter died down, Nikolai pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his face into her hair. "I'm sorry you had a rough day, my love," he whispered, his voice low and soothing. "Let me take care of you."
He continued to hold her, rubbing soothing circles into her back as she relaxed into his embrace. They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, enjoying the warmth and comfort of each other's presence.
Eventually, Nikolai broke the silence. "You know, my little birdie," he said, his voice playful once more. "I could tickle you forever and never get tired of it."
His girlfriend rolled her eyes playfully. "Yeah, I know. You sadistic little quizmaster."
Nikolai chuckled at the nickname she had given him. "Guilty as charged," he said, grinning. "But seriously, let me know if you ever need me to make you laugh again. I'll always be here for you."
And with those words, he planted a soft kiss on her forehead before settling back into their comfortable embrace. The room was filled with the sounds of their contented breathing as they enjoyed each other's company, feeling grateful for the love and support they had in each other.
—𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐞𝐯𝐬𝐤𝐲
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Fyodor entered the room, his long black coat swishing behind him as he strode across the floor. He noticed his girlfriend lying on the bed with her earphones in, staring at the ceiling with a deep frown on her face. He could sense her stress and knew that something was bothering her.
Without a word, Fyodor sat down on the edge of the bed and placed his hand gently on her arm. She flinched slightly at his touch, but then relaxed as she realized it was him.
"Fyodor, what are you doing here?" she asked, taking out her earphones and sitting up.
"I sensed that something was troubling you," he replied calmly. "I came to see if there was anything I could do to help."
She sighed and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. Fyodor wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close as she began to tell him about her long and stressful day.
As she spoke, Fyodor listened intently, his sharp purple eyes focused on her face. He could sense the depth of her emotions and the turmoil she was going through. He knew that he needed to do something to help her.
"Fyodor, I don't know what to do," she said, her voice breaking as tears began to roll down her cheeks.
Fyodor brushed her tears away with his thumb and held her tighter. "Shh, it's okay," he said soothingly. "I'm here for you. Whatever it is, we'll face it together."
He continued to hold her, listening to her every word as she poured out her heart to him. He didn't say much, but his mere presence was enough to calm her down.
Eventually, she fell asleep in his arms, exhausted from the long day. Fyodor carefully laid her down on the bed and covered her with a blanket, tucking her in like a child.
He sat there for a while longer, watching her sleep, his thoughts a jumble of emotions. He knew that he loved her more than anything, and that he would do anything to make her happy. He would protect her from any harm that came her way, even if it meant sacrificing everything he had.
Fyodor leaned down and kissed her forehead gently, whispering softly, "I love you," before turning and walking out of the room, his mind already working on a plan to make her day brighter.
—𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮
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Dazai had just finished a long day at the Armed Detective Agency. He was exhausted, his mind still buzzing with all the cases and investigations he had been working on. He couldn't wait to go home, lay down and relax. However, as he walked through the door of his apartment, he was met with an unexpected sight.
His girlfriend was lying on the bed, her earphones in, a deep frown etched on her face. She was staring at the ceiling, lost in her thoughts. Dazai immediately noticed that something was off, and he knew he had to do something to cheer her up.
He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. "Hey there, beautiful," he said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "What's wrong?"
His girlfriend let out a heavy sigh and took out her earphones. "It's just been a really stressful day," she said. "Work was a nightmare, and I feel like I'm drowning in all the responsibilities I have."
Dazai nodded, understandingly. "I know the feeling," he said. "But you know what always cheers me up when I'm feeling down?"
"What?" his girlfriend asked, looking at him curiously.
"A good joke," Dazai replied, with a mischievous glint in his eye. "And lucky for you, I happen to be an expert in making people laugh."
With that, he launched into a series of hilarious jokes and puns, each one more ridiculous than the last. His girlfriend couldn't help but chuckle at his antics, and soon enough, she was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her face.
Dazai was pleased with himself. He loved making people laugh, especially his girlfriend. He knew that she was under a lot of stress, and he was glad he could help her forget about it for a little while.
As they lay in bed, laughing and talking, Dazai couldn't help but feel grateful for his girlfriend's presence in his life. She was his anchor, the one person who could always bring him back to reality when he was lost in his own thoughts. He was determined to do everything in his power to make her happy, no matter what.
The rest of the night was spent in each other's arms, talking about anything and everything. They were in their own little world, free from the stresses and worries of the outside world.
In the end, Dazai realized that sometimes, all it took to make someone happy was a little bit of silliness and humor. And he was more than happy to provide that for his girlfriend, whenever she needed it.
—𝐍𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚
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Chuuya Nakahara had just returned home after a long day of work. He was looking forward to relaxing and perhaps having a glass of wine, but when he entered his bedroom, he found his girlfriend lying on the bed with earphones in, looking stressed and unhappy. He could see the frown on her face from across the room.
"Hey," Chuuya said, approaching the bed. "What's wrong?"
His girlfriend didn't respond. She just stared up at the ceiling, lost in her thoughts.
Chuuya sat down on the bed next to her and gently took out one of her earphones. "What are you listening to?" he asked.
His girlfriend sighed and sat up, taking out the other earphone. "Just some music," she said. "I've had a really stressful day at work."
Chuuya nodded, understandingly. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"
His girlfriend shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "I'm just so tired and stressed."
Chuuya could see that his girlfriend needed something to cheer her up. He thought for a moment, then got an idea. "Hey, how about we go out for a nice dinner tonight?" he suggested. "We can go to that new Italian place you've been wanting to try."
His girlfriend's eyes lit up a little at the suggestion. "That sounds nice," she said.
Chuuya smiled. "Great, let's get dressed up and make a night of it," he said. "I promise it'll make you feel better."
As they got ready for their night out, Chuuya made sure to pay attention to every detail, from picking out the perfect outfit for his girlfriend to styling her hair just right. He knew that the little things mattered, especially when his girlfriend was feeling down.
During dinner, they laughed and talked about everything from work to their dreams for the future. Chuuya made sure to keep the conversation light and entertaining, and soon his girlfriend was laughing and smiling again.
By the end of the night, Chuuya could see that his girlfriend was feeling much better. "Thank you for tonight," she said, as they walked back to their apartment. "You always know how to cheer me up."
Chuuya smiled. "Of course," he said. "That's what I'm here for." He took her hand and squeezed it gently. "I love you," he said.
His girlfriend smiled back at him. "I love you too," she said. "Thank you for being so wonderful."
Chuuya felt a warmth in his chest at her words. He knew that he would always be there for his girlfriend, no matter what. And seeing her happy and smiling was all the reward he needed.
—𝐄𝐝𝐨𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨
Ranpo Edogawa was skipping down the hallway, humming a tune that he had just made up. He had just finished solving another case with the Armed Detective Agency, and he was feeling quite proud of himself. As he approached his apartment, he could hear some music playing inside. He opened the door and saw his girlfriend lying on the bed with earphones in and a deep frown on her face.
"Hello there, my dear," Ranpo exclaimed, bouncing over to her. "What's wrong? Why are you frowning like that?"
She looked up at him, still wearing the earphones. "Just had a long and stressful day at work," she replied with a sigh.
Ranpo's expression immediately changed to one of concern. "Oh no, that's terrible. You need to relax and have some fun!" he said, pulling out a bag of candy from his pocket.
His girlfriend gave him a small smile. "Thanks, Ranpo, but I don't really feel like having candy right now."
Ranpo's face fell. "But candy makes everything better! Come on, try some," he said, holding out the bag.
She sighed and took a piece, unwrapping it slowly. Ranpo watched with a grin as she took a bite and her face lit up with a smile.
"See? I told you candy was the answer," he said, taking a piece for himself.
His girlfriend chuckled. "You're such a child, Ranpo. But I love you for it," she said, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek.
Ranpo's face lit up with delight. "Yay! You love me! I knew it all along," he said, jumping up and down on the bed.
His girlfriend couldn't help but laugh at his childish behavior. "You're such a goofball," she said, shaking her head.
Ranpo's smile widened. "Yep, that's me! But I'm your goofball," he said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a tight hug.
His girlfriend couldn't help but smile as she leaned into the embrace. Despite his childish behavior, she knew that Ranpo truly cared about her and always knew how to make her feel better.
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Do Not Copy or Plagiarize Any of My Works. Reblogs Are Very Appreciated.
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leclerc-s · 7 months
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nonsense
series masterlist
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, daphnejones and others
maejones got peer pressured into telling the world who nonsense is about. if you’re my sister or daniel, ignore this post. i’m begging you. remain oblivious as to who the song is about.
tagged:maxverstappen1
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danielricciardo maeve! what the hell is this? (i love the song, don’t tell your sister)
↳ daphnejones this is a public instagram comment section.
↳ maejones that's not my name
user14 oh so his dick is good
user21 so max is winning on and off track
charles_leclerc i could’ve gone my whole life without knowing who this song is about.
baileywinters you look hot babe. dump your boyfriend and date me instead.
↳ landonorris i exist you know, your boyfriend?
↳ baileywinters hi babe, please ignore my previous comment, i was only joking (no, i wasn't)
↳ landonorris i can also see that comment
↳ user59 i love this couple right here
user35 are we just gonna skip over the fact that these two are together again?
↳ user48 right?! talk about hard launch!
daphnejones i didn't need to know this about your love life mae. somethings are better kept a secret. also, when the hell did you two get back together?
↳ maejones calm down ms. 'only bought this dress so you could take it off'
↳ isabellaperez she wrote 'do the girls back home and touch you like i do' and wants to get you in trouble for 'said you like my eyes and you like to make 'em roll.'
↳ rowantodd the line 'i know heaven's a thing, i go there when you touch me, honey' exists daphne
↳ danielricciardo need i remind you, of 'carved your name into my bedpost, cause i don’t want you like a best friend'
↳ landonorris clearly only she's allowed to be horny in her songs. also maejones don't write about my best friend like that ever again.
↳ user24 they really came for daphne, save it for the group chat guys.
alex_albon WHEN DID YOU TWO GET BACK TOGETHER? HELLO?!
↳ maejones hi alex!!
georgerussell63 i refuse to believe that my favorite song on the album is about max verstappen.
bradleywillsimpson can’t believe people thought the song was about me when max verstappen exists
↳ maejones right? why would i write a song about you, one of my best friends?
↳ bradleywillsimpson i’ve got nothing on max verstappen but i'm also offended that you don't see yourself writing a song about me? you wrote seven, for max, and you weren't dating?
↳ maejones that's different because we dated. you and i never did.
user87 mae saw people saying the song was about bradley, dylan, and shawn and said, "hell no, let me set the record straight."
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alex albon I FEEL LIKE IM THE ONLY ONE LOSING MY SHIT? WHEN DID THEY GET BACK TOGETHER?
george russell FAMILY MEETING NOW! DON’T YOU TWO DARE GHOST US RIGHT NOW!! SOMEONE TELL ME NONSENSE ISN'T ABOUT MAX! I'VE BEEN SINGING THAT SONG FOR MONTHS!
daphne jones when the hell did you two get back together? and why weren't we informed of this?
max verstappen oh look at that christian's called me for a very important meeting and my phone needs to be shut off
isabella perez fucking liar, i'm literally sitting next to my uncle, who's laughing at a tiktok my sister sent him. daniel ricciardo so a liar and a coward, what's new?
mae jones in our defense, you guys just never asked
alex albon we were supposed to know you two were on speaking terms again? max verstappen daniel knew
daniel ricciardo oh shit! what the fuck max?!
daphne jones you knew? and you didn't say anything?! how could you? natalia ruiz this is betrayal in the worst form daniel.
bailey winters i would pay good money to know what jos thinks of a song mae wrote while being horny over max
mae jones i’m and i quote, ‘a fucking distraction for his son’ max verstappen the best distraction lando norris ugh love, gross dulce perez don't you, i don't know, have a girlfriend?
penelope trevino don't you people, i don't know, have jobs?
carlos sainz ignore her, she hasn't been properly caffinated yet carlos sainz she gets snarky when she's sleepy mae jones penny! what is your honest opinion of nonsense?! have i hit mayores status? penelope trevino i cannot believe the words that just came out of your mouth. you are a child. but yes on the horny scale it's close to mayores.
lewis hamilton i feel like we shouldn’t be encouraging this behavior.
max verstappen you’re just mad no one has written a song about you lewis hamilton i apologize for viewing you two as those idiot teenagers i met years ago. i’m telling seb. george russell the fatherly duties fall onto you and nando, stop involving seb!
sebastian vettel this is the crap i had to deal with everyday. have fun dealing with them
fernando alonso don't retire. i beg. the least you could've done was take some of them with you. sebastian vettel i'm taking my daughter with me? lewis hamilton bullshit as long as mick is in the mercedes garage she'll be here
alex albon i could've gone my whole life without the words, 'said you like my eyes and you like to make 'em roll.' being written about max verstappen
esteban ocon just when i had gotten over dress being about daniel, mae tells us nonsense is about max. i'm sorry max but i won't be able to look you in the eyes for at least a month
lando norris i’m afraid this will be the only thing max will be asked about at the next confrence
isabella perez my uncle is traumatized and so is christian
max verstappen YOU PLAYED IT FOR CHRISTIAN? isabella perez of course it's my duty as the youngest red bull team member to embarrass you and my uncle
alex albon LOL GUESS WHO WILLIAMS INVITED AS A GUEST FOR THE MIAMI GP???
george russell if you say some stupid shit like the rock i'm going to punch you alex albon IT RHYMES WITH CLUCK!
isabella perez red bull will be blasting nonsense, i'll make sure of it
carlos sainz as will ferrari george russell cluck boy will never know peace as long as we're around lando norris i think we're all in agreement to blasting nonsense? yuki tsunoda yes, we are. charles leclerc that has been the most intimidating threat towards cluck i've ever seen
pierre gasly yuki could beat him
lewis hamilton in a race right? lewis hamilton right? pierre gasly sure we'll go with that
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maejones posted a new story
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moments before disaster with max *queue isabella playing nonsense on a loop*
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¡leclerc-s speaks! i don't even know what inspired this 😃. this is a complete 180 turn from seven, i apologize for this dumpster-fire. but anyways FERRARI DIDN'T LET US DOWN FOR ONCE! LET'S ENJOY THIS MOMENT WHILE WE CAN!
¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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bad268 · 1 month
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Hello my friend! I've recently discovered your work for the frog boys and also saw you have requests open (if this isn't true anymore I'm terribly sorry!) I was wondering if you could write something about Pezzy (and maybe the rest of the frog house included if you want) playing horror games with his s/o? Have a good day!
Scared in Love (Frog Boys X Reader)
Fandom: RPF/Miscellaneous
Requested: Clearly (I decided to make this part of [Blank] in Love. I could be read alone though. Thank you my friend <3)
Warnings: Horror games
POV: First Person (I/me)
W.C. 1027 (about 250 each)
Summary: Horror games are scary, who knew?
As always, my requests are OPEN
MASTERLIST // HITLIST
Technically can be read alone, but Part 4 <-
~~
Puffer (At Dead of Night)
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“This is stupid! All we’re doing is running from a bald guy,” I laughed as I controlled the movements in the game as we ran between rooms. Puffer had been asked to play At Dead of Night. Despite knowing he did not like horror games, he agreed as long as I was there for it. Neither of us had heard much of this game, and so far it was pretty boring. “Am I supposed to lock this door?”
“Maybe? Isn’t the guy chasing you?” Puffer answered as he leaned closer to the screen. He broke his glasses recently, so he was blind for this stream, and that’s the main reason he asked me to join. “Wait, why is that light flickering?”
“Like I know,” I scoffed as I immediately moved toward it. Nothing happened. “See chat, y'all just be hyping up this game, and it's plain.” I turned around in the game and jumped in my seat as some random person showed up. “Holy shit!”
“Dr. Bose was accused of the worst crime possible,” Puffer joked with mock seriousness. “We need to go to the ground floor now to see the police lights!” He took over the controls, again leaning close to the screen to see.
“Maybe you shouldn’t speed run out of the room,” I advised.
“Nah, we’ll be fine,” And almost like Jimmy was listening, he jumped out from around the corner to kill us. Puffer jumped back in his chair, causing it to fall back.
“What did I fucking say!?”
~~
Pezzy (Doors)
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“It’s Roblox. How scary can it possibly be?” were going to be my famous last words. I was sure of it.
“I swear to god if one more of these things pulls me out of the closet again, I will throw my controller at the screen!” I shouted as I died once again. 
“Welcome to the club,” Pezzy laughed, “It only gets worse.”
“I’m going to cry,” I joked as I respawned. “This is literally torture! I did not agree to do this!”
“Yes, you did!” Leave it to Pezzy to pull up the receipts in the form of a text you sent him a while ago. He briefly showed it to the camera before clearing his throat, and imitating my voice, “I doubt it’s even that hard. I bet that I could speed run it faster than you.”
“I don’t remember saying that sober,” I admitted as I ran through the doors, ignoring Pezzy’s laugh. “I really don’t. In fact, I think a certain someone stole my phone and texted someone while we were drunk. I wouldn’t put it past you honestly.”
“I cannot believe you would accuse me of such a thing,” Pezzy gasped as he put a hand to his chest. “I seem to remember you bragging about not being scared of anything. You’re eating your words now, huh?”
“Never,” I said definitively. It didn’t last long as, almost immediately, the red skull thing chased me through the rooms. “I swear! PLEASE!”
~~
Droid (FNAF Help Wanted)
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“It’s not even that bad,” I laughed as I glanced at chat while Droid stood behind me playing Five Nights at Freddy’s: Help Wanted. I had played it before since I was practically a FNAF channel, so Droid made it his subgoal to play it when they hit 5,000 subs. Granted, he did not think it would happen that quickly. “Just wait until you get to the third game.”
“You’re kidding me!” He shouted as he frantically looked around the room. “There’s no way it gets worse than this! You’re capping!”
“Nah, you’re just a baby,” I laughed as a highlighted chat caught my eye.
“You should shove him.” it read. Thankfully, he could not read chat while in the game, so I took this as my opportunity. With a smirk, I stood up and walked around to stand behind Droid. Just as the music picked up in the game, I grabbed his shoulders and he was jumpscared. From me and the game as Bonnie jumped out at him. 
He flung his arms back to try and drab me, but I ducked and ran back to my chair. He pulled the headset off and immediately glared at me. He let go of the joycons as he pointed and slowly approached me. 
“I will murder you,” He joked as he leaned down to be at eye level with me. “I will threaten domestic violence live on Twitch.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” I joked back as I raised my eyebrows.
“WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! Nah, don’t even!”
~~
Grizzy (GMod Horror Maps)
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“I don’t like the squidward-looking thing or the witches,” I cried as I ran my character through the dark maze. “Why did you mod them in?”
“Because I knew you didn’t like them,” Grizzy laughed as his character followed mine around. “I can remove one of them if you want.”
“Please do,” I laughed as I purposely let myself get killed by Squidward, so I would respawn. Grizzy exited the game to fix the mod as I stayed on the call with him, entertaining his chat. Eventually, he got it changed but did not tell me what he put in. 
“Can I know what was spawned?” I asked as I reloaded the game. I had to update it since the mods changed, and I got stuck on the loading screen for a minute. I thought he would have told me at that point, but no. When I loaded into the game, I saw a hoard of witches immediately. I slowly looked over to Discord to see Grizzy’s face cam, and of course, he’s got that malicious smile. “I will murder you.”
“You always say you could outrun the witches,” Grizzy laughed as his character also loaded it. As soon as he spawned, he threw a bomb at the group. “I’m testing you.”
I screamed as I ran my character the opposite way through the maze, “What the fuck is wrong with you!”
“See!? It’s not so easy, huh?” Grizzly laughed as he watched my character run. ”What are you mumbling?”
“California girls were unforgettable,” I said a little louder than before as my voice got higher. “Daisy dukes bikinis on top.”
~~~~~
© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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carolmunson · 8 months
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you keep me without chains | em.
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this is a re-post of a ramble fic of me processing some stuff i've been through and am struggling with in my own healing. if you're familiar with my 'bad at feelings' series, it's in a similar vein of writing except eddie is incredibly soft and sweet to reader who is going through her own stuff. eddie sucks here, i don't think it's a correct characterization of him but it's just me using him as a placeholder.
originally, i didn't want to put this story in the tags because it's sad and explores the mindset of someone in a non-physically abusive relationship. however, since it is DV awareness month, i wanted to make sure to express that if there are people reading this who are struggling that they aren't alone and there are people there that understand and support them. and also that if there are younger readers reading (still eighteen plus!) who aren't sure if they are in an abusive relationship they are maybe able to get some context via fiction. my inbox is always open. DV Hotline US: 800-799-7233 DV Hotline UK: 0808 2000 247 tw: 18+ mindors dni, references to emotional and psychological abuse, minor threats of physical violence.
he left this morning with a kiss on your cheek and your lips, a nuzzle against your temple when you gave him two thermos's, one with hot black coffee and the other with the beef stew you made last night. hot hot hot. the way he likes it.
you made bread, so crisp on the outside, pillowy soft on the inside. he groaned when he popped it in his mouth at the dinner table, soaked in broth and butter. you warmed some in the oven when you put his lunch together, wrapping it in foil to trap the heat -- maybe it'll keep until his lunch hour. he might eat it all before his lunch hour. he never eats breakfast really.
you clean the counters and do the laundry while he's away. no kids to take care of, not yet at least. you mend his spare coveralls, treating the grease and oils stains, resewing his name tag stiched in red thread. you shine your mary janes and stilettos, shine his doc's just to be nice. you fix his patches on his vest from the last show he went to. you clean the stubble out of the sink in the bathroom.
he has the car so there's nowhere to go.
you shower, you do your hair, put make up on, go through the motions while he's not home. he hates to wait for you to do it but you hate looking tired when you're out and about. better to do it when he's busy doing something else.
next door neighbor is heading to the library, knocks on your door to see if you wanna come with. she just wants you to get out of the house for once, stop playing wife to a man who hasn't married you yet.
you hesistate, wanting to be home in time to make dinner, but you can't imagine the library taking too long so you go. she looks at you with a strained pity that you can't stand. he doesn't hit you, so why does she even look at you like that? he'd never do that. he just got back from all that shit with a few screws loose. he never knows what he means when he says it.
he's always sorry. y'know? he's always sorry. sorta.
doesn't hit you but you know how the day will go by the way he says good morning. by the way he wakes up with you -- or without you. know how the night will go by the way he breathes when he comes in through the storm door. by the cadence of his steps on the metal stairs. by the way the van pulls in.
sometimes things break and that's fine cause he just replaces them. he knows he shouldn't have thrown it, he knows he shouldn't have tossed it, he knows. he knows. that's why he gets it the very next day. new plates, new house phone, new coffee pot, new records, new casettes, new picture frames, new flower pots. he doesn't throw them at you. he's only punched the wall twice. he slams his head against it all the time. cause he knows he's not good. he knows. you go to the library and check out some books, laugh at your neighbors jokes, tell her about your weekend in the city visiting his friends. he held your hand in front of everyone and pulled you onto his lap, he joked with you and you laughed the whole time. you went to see a band play that you'd never heard of and he got you a t-shirt and the next morning you all went out for hot chocolate and breakfast and he kissed the whipped cream off your lips and ran his thumb over your engagement ring over and over. he never stopped calling you baby. so charming. so perfect. you don't know what you did to earn it, but you've been chasing it ever since. modeling that week's behavior into this one. tip toes through the tulips of the trailer. jagged. shell like.
you get home from the library and lunch, she even stops with you when you mention you have to go to the grocery store. out of eggs for meatloaf, needed some canned string beans for one of the sides.
it's the best dinner you've made in a while and the mashed potatoes are double whipped and extra buttery because he can never get enough of them. you know that it's little things like that. you love the smile he gets when you tell him you do some things just for him, so blushy and boyish.
'that's so nice, baby,' he gushes, 'thinkin'a me.' and god he gushes. cries when he can't contain it. saw you in a new dress and wiped his eyes. new hair cut sent him into orbit.
so pretty.
you're so beautiful, i don't deserve you.
you're gorgeous i -- i can't even like, think.
presents on your birthday. handwritten notes with tear drops washing over the ink in a wave, blurry letters blue and black, black and blue. he'd never hit you. too in love. too bursting with affection when he looks at you. too nervous when you look at him when he takes you out. when he plays a show. when he sees you get dressed into your pjs at night. you're so good to me. especially when you hold him through those nightmares. when you calm his anxiety, those deep breath panic attacks. the ones that the meds miss when he misses them. you're patient through the mood swings and he always says thank you. he always says it -- you're the only one that understands him. that sees him. sometimes you don't get it. that's what he says at least. you don't get it and that makes him upset. but you're not sure what there is to get. and you try not to get sad about it -- 'bout anything really 'cause you're not the one who got a few screws knocked loose. nothing bad like that happened to you. i mean, sure, maybe some bad things happened to you but not like the way bad things happened to him, right? you wouldn't get it. but he gets you, he tells you all the time. he gets you so well. symbiotic. the only person who knows you, the only person whose been in your skin -- right? at least that's what he says, and he's said it so long you can't help but believe it.
your eyes fall on the newly vased roses he bought you two days ago from the florist near the shop. bright red petals opened and fat, contrasting against the pea green of the walls. you smile at them while you pour gravy over each plate, extra on his mashed potatoes. he kissed you this morning, he was almost late leaving the house -- couldn't stop kissing you. couldn't stop looking at you with those brown eyes, sparkling with a mischief saved for tonight.
the van rolls in as you set the table, still in your outfit from earlier, the books you checked out on the counter need the flowers. the storm door opens off kilter, your throat constricts. you know by the way he doesn't say anything when he comes in the house. work boots kicked off with loud thumps. his jacket swishing with a thwap when he throws it with a grunt to the ground. something bad must've happened at work. 'hey honey,' you say quietly, 'got dinner for you.'
you know better, watching him turn the corner into the dinette, looking down at you from where he stands and you sit. you hold a mug full of orange juice on the table, fingers tapping on it silently while he holds his gaze. 'you goin' somewhere, dressed up like that?' he asks, there's nothing behind those sparkling eyes now. dulled out to hollow brown.
'no,' you shrug, you know how to coreograph your responses now -- still stepping on his toes sometimes, 'went to the library with gina, she just wanted a friend for some errands.'
'you know gina doesn't like me,' he nods, walking to the fridge to grab a beer, 'she doesn't like us together. she hates me.'
'she doesn't hate you, ed,' you assure, voice still calm, mediating, 'no one hates you.'
'your folks hate me, your sister hates me,' he nods, curls bouncing while he takes a swig, like it's normal conversation. so steady, 'you think they like that i got you ever here in this trailer park?'
'my parents don't ha--'
'they do.' and that's final. you don't argue. and he's right. your parents don't like him and that's why you don't call anymore, and they stopped calling you too. so did all your friends from back home.
'so what'd gina tell you about me today, then?' he presses.
'nothin'," you shrug, 'we didn't talk about you.'
'of course not,' he laughs but it's one that sends a chill under your skin, a laugh to not seem so mean when you know he's about to be, 'she was prob'ly tryna set you up with someone. that's why you got all dressed up right? anything to look good for other guys out there.'
's'cuse me?' 'you heard me,' he nods, voice still steady like nothing's wrong, 'that's why you wore all those tight jeans in the city last weekend, right? those dresses? tryna show off to harrington and the guys. don't act like i didn't notice.'
'what are you talking about? why didn't you say anything when we were there?' you heart rate quickens, you try not to get mad.
'i shouldn't have to. but that's how you are, y'know?' he shrugs, another swig, another chuckle, 'makin' dinner and everything, you must've been out there makin' eyes at everyone if you made my favorite.'
'i wasn't doing that,' you urge, voice raising, tears threatening to pool, 'i just made it cause you like it, cause it makes you happy.'
'so you just do anything to make sure i don't get mad? do you even know why you do stuff like this for me?' he asks.
'what are you even saying?' your voice raises again, a mild yell. you're frazzled now, heart racing, head already scrambled.
'don't yell, what're you -- fuck babe, see! this is why gina doesn't like me,' he grits through his teeth, 'cause you're always making a scene over nothing. you're over fuckin' reacting.'
'i --' your voice catches in your throat, quieting, 'i'm sorry? i'm sorry.'
'd'you even know what you're sorry for?' he nearly sneers, 'always sayin' your sorry over nothing. y'know somethin' babe, sorry loses it's meaning when you're sayin' it all the time. it doesn't mean anything from you anymore.'
you nod, losing your resilience, too confused about how quickly you got here -- and he's right. you're always apologizing but half the time you don't even know what you're apologizing for. just that you feel like you need to be sorry. like you need to say sorry.
he holds that stare on you like he's waiting for you to speak again. daring you to say something. you stare down at the wood grain of the table, blank and empty -- numb, even. the mug between your hands is warm from how hard you were gripping the ceramic to keep you grounded.
's'what i thought,' he nods, voice a low rumble while he makes his way to the bathroom.
he'd never hit you.
the slam of the bathroom door makes you flinch.
sometimes you wish he would. maybe it would hurt less than this. at least that physical pain fades, right? at least it wasn't the same dull ache on a bruise that won't go away. are you hemmorhaging? do you just not feel it yet? will it be too late when you do?
he slides into bed with you at night after spending the rest of the evening out back with the other couples and families that were smoking ribs, having a little fire out in the brush. he smells like cigarettes. you could hear his grizzly laugh through the windows while you laid in the dark of your bedroom. too tired after the way he spoke to you to do anything else. everyone's favorite mechanic loverboy in the park.
you feel his fingertips on your shoulder, one of them gliding down the slope of your arm. he presses his lips to your shoulder blade, your eyes shut -- blearing with tears from that dull ache.
'dinner was really good, baby,' he says softly, a whisper.
you try to get out a thank you but it becomes a choke, a sniffle, a gasp. then a cry and then a harder one, remembering how he rolled his eyes at you two weeks ago when you cried after he threw out the love letter you wrote him for your four year anniversary because 'you didn't mean any of that shit anyway'.
he sits up, shushing you softly while his hand smooths over your bicep.
'what is it, sweetheart?' he asks, 'are you mad at me?'
you shake your head no. looking up at him, lying flat on your back. he looks so handsome in the moonlight, concerned eyes and tilted head peering down at you. 'n-no, ed. m'not mad at y-you,' you push out, head still scrambled. you feel guilty about last weekend, about going out today. what if guys really were looking? you know you weren't looking at them but what if they got the wrong idea? gina doesn't know what she's talking about, she's always hated ed. ever since they were kids.
'you just havin' one of your moments?' he asks, soothing voice, 'yeah?' one of your moments. always just one of your moments. couldn't be him, you're just -- maybe you're over thinking it.
'yeah,' you nod, 'm'sorry i went out with gina, baby i -- she didn't say anything bad about you.'
'it's okay,' he smiles, 'm'not mad at you. never mad at my girl.'
'no?' you ask, swallowing hard -- your heart leaps. he's not mad. maybe he just had a rough day.
'no doll, m'never mad at you. you always think i'm mad at you,' he says, thumb brushing away the tears that threatened to roll down the sides of your face to your hair line, 'you need me to kiss it better?'
another sob rips through you, nodding, because you do. you need it. and you sort of hate that you need it. you hate yourself for needing it. but he kisses you and it does feel better. he knows how to kiss you just right, he always has. he knows just where to put his hands. just how to pull away and brush his nose against yours. how to kiss your forehead between affirmations. smooth and understanding, like a movie scene. his kisses are his apologies. his sorry. you accept it every time.
because he doesn't hit you and he never would. in the morning, when the bathroom door slams so hard the walls vibrate, you flinch.
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warmaidensrevenge · 3 months
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It's not a never.
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Pairings: Eddie x fem!best friend Plus size reader
A/N: Happy Sunday loves. Here I present the final part in this series. It's a bit steamy if you ask me. So ready your naughty bits. As always thanks for reading. Please feel free to share and comment your thoughts. It really gives me a boost of dopamine that I crave. So anything is awesome. Kay love ya. Byyyyyeeee.
I do not give permission for my work to be posted anywhere else. Please respect all creators. Also, all pictures and songs are from a Google search and found on Spotify. A huge thank you and credit to the original posters and artists.
Word count: 3,824
Warnings: 18+ No minors please. Angst, language, sexual implications, sexual situations, p&v, oral (both receiving), unprotected sex and mentions of alcohol use. Not proof read
Part 4: Right now
Summary: Time goes by. But feelings still remain.
The farewell was in fact unbearable. It hurt Eddie like hell. But what hurt the most was a year after. College life became hectic for you. Which caused letters and phone calls to lessen. 
Then the guys got a big break. It was a small record label with very little rapport. But it was one he had a good feeling about. They made a deal for one full album and a few shows to promote it. 
It was a very busy year that turned into two. Then three.
Before any of them knew it, they were playing sold out shows. 
Things were working out. His dreams were coming true. But he never forgot about that girl with the sweet little smile. Though it has been some time since he saw it. He was fortunate enough to see it again one summer night in that third year.
The band was performing at one of their favorite places one hot night. They loved it because it was on a rooftop. Where they could see most of the city.
Tonight though, Eddie could only focus on the pretty girl with the small smile he almost forgot if it weren't for the prom picture he kept in his wallet.
The second the set was over, he jumped off the stage and ran to you. Obviously dodging the groupies and fans asking for autographs.
You yelped when he embraced you. Surprised when he picked you up a little.
“ Oh shit! I can't believe this!” He said when he planted you back down. 
You giggled. “Hi Eddie.”
He leaned back a little and grinned like crazy. “ When did-” He was cut off by the rest of his buddies.
He took a few steps back to let everyone have their turn with you. To be honest he needed the minute to get over the shock of seeing you. 
One thing led to another and you guys went out for drinks then ended up back at their apartment.
The whole night you guys were hanging off each other. Loving glances were shared and every word you said sounded like a love spell to him. And that didn't end when it was just you two.
Everyone else went to bed and he wasn't tired at all. So why end the night? Who knows when he was gonna see you again.
“ Ehem. So Eddie?” You said, putting your half empty glass on the coffee table. “ How many times do I have to squeeze your thigh to get you to kiss me?”
He laughed nervously.
You gave him a sexy sly grin. “ Common I've been flirting with you all night.”
He cleared his throat and smirked while you moved closer to him. It was true. You were flirting. He was too. And he shouldn't have. 
You reached up to move his bangs to the side. After you rested your hand much closer to his genitals. 
He quickly put a hand on yours. Just in case you decided to touch him further. “ Ummm…” he mumbled and met your beautiful eyes.
If things were different, he wouldn't question a damn thing and take you right here and now. Maybe even on the floor and the kitchen counter. Definitely fuck you in the shower and again on his bed. But he couldn't.
He exhaled. “ I'm kinda seeing someone.”
You practically jumped back. Pulling your hand away in the process. He could see how red you were getting from embarrassment.
“ Crap! Ed- I'm…uhhhh I'm sorry. I should go.”
You stood up and without thinking he grabbed your arm and stood up too.
“ No! I mean. Please don't go.”
You looked at him and shook your head. “ No I should. I've embarrassed myself enough for a lifetime.”
You tried to go but he gently pulled you back and cupped the sides of your face. 
“ Common kid. Don't be embarrassed. I was flirting too.” He hung his head a little. “ I shouldn't have but…it's you.”
He felt your warm soft hands on his. Making him meet your eyes. 
“ Eddie I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come and -”
“ No. You did nothing wrong. It was me. I should've said I was seeing someone sooner…but seriously, don't go. I-I've missed you…So fuckin much.”
You bit your lip and nodded. “ Okay. But you have to sit on the other side of the couch.”
He dropped his hands and held onto yours. “ Yeah, or I'm gonna have to make a phone call and become single.”
Your eyes widened. “ I'm flattered, but probably don't do that.”
You both grinned at one another before returning to the couch. Talking until the sun came up.
For Eddie it was heartbreaking saying goodbye to you that next morning. You were still that funny, sweet, affectionate girl from highschool. You were still the person he could talk to for hours without a care in the world. And he remembered the love that he still had for you. 
What he learned last night was that you were so busy with school that you didn't have time to date. He also found out that college was much harder than you thought it was gonna be. So hard that you changed your major twice.
Eventually, you found something you really saw yourself doing. Career wise that is. And he was happy for you. Just like how you were happy for him and the guys. 
Still, there was still something between you two. Something he wished he could explore. Something that just flowed with you. It was as if you guys picked up from where you left off.
It irked him. It bothered him so much that he actually opened up to his girlfriend about it. 
At first she was quiet, then she got pissed. Eventually, she calmed down and broke up with him. And to be honest it didn't really affect him that much. Sure he liked her. She was fun to be around. But after talking to you, he realized he never had a decent conversation with her. It was just partying and sex mostly. 
It wasn't her fault though. It was him. He never cared to open up to anyone besides his friends. Maybe it was because he thought no one would understand or get him. Get his quirks or quips. They probably wouldn't get his music tastes or like his nerdy side. Or maybe he didn't want anyone to. Perhaps it was because he still had hope for you. Hope that was instilled in him over the best pancakes in the world.
Either way it would be another 4 years until he would see you again.
Jeff was getting married. To Connie, in Hawkins. Everyone was invited and Eddie, Gareth and Grant were his groomsmen. They were all his best men cuz he couldn't choose one. 
Which was such a grueling task. Helping with the wedding and planning a bachelor party took up a lot of time. 
But besides all that, Eddie was looking forward to seeing one guest. One very important guest. The pretty girl he's been corresponding to for the past four years. 
He got in touch after you left New York. And kept up contact. He didn't want to disconnect again. Lose you again.
Though nothing was ever said about getting together, he anticipated that after the wedding he was gonna leave with you. Finally getting to that right now you had mentioned seven years ago.
-
He was near the entrance of the church, saying his hellos with the rest of the wedding party when he saw you. 
Everything around him seemed to slow down as you exited the car and fixed your royal blue dress. You looked around and smiled at the people you knew. Then you went to help your mom out of the car. 
He absolutely could not look away. You were a knockout. Absolutely gorgeous. 
What were the chances he could sneak you out of the party and make love somewhere? Maybe he could convince you to leave early. 
He suddenly felt a jab in the ribs. 
“ Ouch! What the fu-” he groaned as he looked at Gareth who was nodding towards Jeff's grandma. “ Oh right!” He uttered, holding out his elbow for her. “ Hello there young lady, I am to escort you to your VIP spot.”
She hit him with an ohh you and took his arm. He looked back to see if he could catch your eye. But it wasn't until the ceremony that he did. 
With a big smile you lifted your hand. Giving him a little wave. He smirked and looked down. Continuing down the aisle. 
Damn! He thought. He really wanted you to be a part of the wedding party.
Originally you were, but you had just started a new job and couldn't get away for rehearsals or any planning. So you opted to only be a guest. Which sucked for him because now he had to look at the happy couple instead of staring at you.
Once he got to the altar he met your gaze again. He knew he must look crazy grinning the way he was. But he didn't care. The girl he was in love with was in the same town, at the same place he was. And he was gonna make sure he left with you.
-
The vows and I do’s were said and the pastor gave the bride and groom the go ahead for a kiss. 
Eddie looked over at you and you had tears of joy falling from your eyes. He pulled out his  handkerchief and took a few steps towards you. Asking for the person sitting in front of you to hand it off. 
You blushed and wiped the tears away while he went back to his spot. Gareth nudged him, but he didn't care. He had to make sure you were good. 
At this point he would do anything for you. He would give anything to be with you. He'd say anything and everything he could just to see you smile. And for a second he pictured what his life would be like with you.
Applause broke out and he clapped along as Jeff and Connie walked back down the aisle together. Once they were at the end, the guys and bridesmaids followed. 
He looked at you again and you were talking to your dad. However, you met his eyes as he passed and mouthed a thank you. 
He nodded and planned on circling back around so that he could get to you. Unfortunately, he had to go in the limo as soon as they walked out. 
Apparently word mysteriously got out that Jeff was getting married. So there were paparazzi and a handful of fans waiting outside the chapel. 
It was a good thing that they had security on standby just in case this happened. 
Everyone was escorted into the car and rushed off.
Jeff was pissed but Connie calmed him down. Saying that to not let it ruin their day. 
Eddie smiled to himself. He was happy for his friend. Jeff had found the girl he was meant to be with. Even with the band getting bigger and the crazy schedules. One of his best friends got to spend the rest of his life with someone who calmed him. Who accepted him for all that he is and truly made him happy. 
Eddie was a little envious of it. Still, he was completely overjoyed for his buddy. 
He wanted that. More than anything, he wanted you. So it was his prerogative to be with you.
-
Everyone had to show their invitations to get into the dance hall. But once in, the music was going and drinks were being served. 
Eddie waited patiently by the door. Nearly jumping up and down. Excited to finally get to talk to you. 
While giving security your invitation you locked eyes with him and smiled from ear to ear. 
You looked away for a second then followed your parents in. 
He said hello to everyone as they made their way down the line to the newly Weds. Finally it was your dad's turn. They shook hands and your mom was next.
“ Why hello there, gorgeous. You are a vision.”
Victoria blushed and gave him a playful smack. “ Stop it.”
He laughed and gave her a hug. 
At last, it was your turn. 
“ Hi Eddie.”
He stood there with his lips together and an eyebrow raised. Giving you his flirtatious smile. “ Hi baby.”
You tilted your head to the side and raised both brows. “ Baby?”
He beamed at you and grabbed your hand. Pulling you closer to him. “ Yeah. You're my baby girl now.” 
Before you could say anything, he pulled you into a long warm hug. Rocking you from side to side. Making you laugh.
Grant cleared his throat. “ Alright Munson, you're holding up the line.”
You pulled away but he didn't want to let you go. He gave your hand one last squeeze before releasing it. His eyes never left you as you finally made it down to Jeff and Connie. 
He smiled as you took Connie's hand and twirled her around. Clearly admiring how beautiful she looked in her gown. Then you gave her hug. Moving on to the groom. He chuckled seeing you and Jeff do your nerdy handshake before hugging.
Afterwards, everyone sat down to eat. Eddie of course didn't want to sit with the rest of the party. Not while you were just a few feet away. He grabbed his plate and his beer and went to sit next to you. 
“ Eddie…Connie's is gonna kill you.” You warned.
He looked up at the head table and saw Jeff and Connie just enamored with each other. Not really paying attention to anything or anyone else but each other for that matter.
He put a hand on the back of your chair and scooted closer. “ I don't think they care.”
He watched you as you glanced at your friends and smiled.
“ Awww I love them.”
He reached up and moved your hair behind your shoulder. Causing you to look at him. “ Want to get out of here?”
You jerked your head back. “ Dude! It's our best friend's wedding.”
-
As the night progressed you guys were practically inseparable. You danced, drank, and talked. It was as if nothing had changed between you two. He made you laugh and you made him nervous. 
It felt right.
Even the approving nods he got from his friends and family assured him this was it. He could do this with you. 
Your parents were about ready to leave a couple hours later and you along with them. What could he do to get you to stay?
“ I-I can get you a ride home later if you want.” He offered.
You shook your head. “ No, I have some work to do so I better get going.”
He frowned. “ But we hardly got to hang out.”
You looked down, clearly to him, trying to think of something. When he came up with something first.
“ I uhh I should probably try and find a hotel for tonight.”
You met his eyes with yours. “ Why?”
He nudged his head towards the door. Where there were paparazzi hanging out with cameras at the ready. “ I was gonna stay with my uncle, but I don't want those guys to bother him.”
“O-oh… ummm well you know my parents still have the pull out in the basement. I could...if you want, I could sneak you out? But what about everyone else?”
He shrugged. To hell with them for the night. “ They're adults, they can figure out something I'm sure.”
You softly laughed. “ Alright. How about you go out the service entrance and we’ll circle around for you?”
He smirked. “ Let's go.”
-
He was laying there in his boxers trying to figure out how to sneak past your parents room and get into your bedroom. Sure it was probably a stupid idea to try and have sex while your parents were across the hall. However he needed you. He craved your lips, and your warmth. He wanted your body next to his.
So he decided to grab something to drink, then see if your parents had gone to bed.
What he found was even better. 
You were in the kitchen grabbing a Popsicle. Wearing nothing but a long shirt and tube socks.
When you turned around you jumped. “ Eddie!” You half whispered. 
He grinned. “ Sorry baby. Was thirsty.”
He went for a glass to pour himself some tap water. Paying attention to your movements. You had gone to sit at the table and started sucking on the ice cream. All the while reading a manuscript. 
He gulped down his drink and went to sit next to you. Pulling the chair as close to you as possible. 
You did your best to ignore him and his advances. But the way he played with your hair made you shift closer to him. 
You had gotten so overcome by his light touch on your thigh that you squeezed your legs shut. You then flipped the page you were working on and licked the Popsicle that was melting all over your hand. Some of the sweet syrup dripped down your chin. And before you could wipe it away he grabbed your hand with one arm and lightly held your chin between his index finger and thumb with the other. He then licked a fat strip from the underside of your chin up to your bottom lip.
He smirked to himself hearing your breath hitch. He had you right where he wanted. 
He stood up and grabbed your hand. Stealing your sweet treat and finishing it off before leading you down to the basement. Of course locking the door behind you. 
When he got you on the bed, he finally took that kiss he'd been dying for all day and everyday for the past seven years
Wet and needy. Tongues dancing together. Exploring tenaciously. With hands doing the same.
He started needing your breast and was surprised by something hard. Curious, he went under the shirt and felt two small metal balls on either side of your hardened nipple. 
He groaned against your lips. “ Fuck baby. I like this.”
You laughed softly and whispered. “ I knew you would.”
He grinned while he played with your piercing. After a bit he kissed his way down your body until he reached your underwear. But instead of taking them off. He moved the damp cloth to the side and spread you a part. 
He was addicted as soon as his tongue touched you. The sweet, sweet nectar that poured from you drove him mindless. But even more so feeling your hand get lost in his curls as the other covered your mouth. Trying to conceal your pleasure.
He stared up at you, enjoying your contorted face as he sucked and licked and swallowed like there was no tomorrow. 
Then he added fingers. Doing a come hither motion. Wasn't long after that. Your body trembled as an orgasm hit. Your pussy throbbed around his fingers. Coating them generously with your wetness.
He waited patiently for you to come down before climbing back up your body and crashing his lips into yours. And when he did you sucked in his bottom lip. Causing him to push his hardened length against your soaked undergarments.
You pushed him up off of you and got on your knees before him. He watched in awe as you wrapped your hair up and freed his cock from its cotton prison.
You teased him at first. Giving his head little kitten licks and kisses. It was maddening. Feeling your slick tongue swirl around the tip before retreating back into your mouth. 
“ Baby please!” He begged.
You looked up with darkened eyes and a less than angelic smile. “ Shhh. You have to be quiet.”
He pouted. Pleading you with his eyes. 
Then you did it. You took the whole damn thing. Making him reach for the back of your head and lifting his hips to go deeper. 
The hum in your throat had his eyes rolling back and toes curled until they hurt. 
A few seconds passed by and he felt your throat close around him as you started to choke. He loosened his grip and let you back off. 
He opened his eyes and focused on you. Watching you catch your breath before taking him in again. This time not so deep. Adding your hand into the mix. 
It was fucking amazing. Every slurp, every gag, every teasing lick around his balls nearly had him cumming. Even more so when you forced him in every once every other stroke. Building up his confidence and his orgasm.
“ Sh-shit baby…got-gotta stop.” 
You let him go with a small pop and had a concerned look in your eyes.“ Everything okay?”
He licked his lips and swallowed. “ Yeah. Fuckin perfect. Just don't wanna cum yet.”
He leaned forward and pulled you into a kiss while helping you up. 
You stood before him and used his shoulders for balance as he peeled off your panties. 
Once they were at your feet you kicked them off and straddled him. Slowly lowering yourself on his shaft. 
Your mouth fell open and your eyes screwed shut and his tip pushed through. 
“ OH MY GOD!” He moaned. 
Your warm tight pussy clinged to him. Hugging him like no other has before. Feeling you flutter around him as you rocked back and forth had him focusing on not cumming. 
He buried his face in your bosom and concentrated on his target. That one special spot that made you cry out his name. That spot that not only drove you over the edge but made him see heaven.
Sure enough he found it. But at this angle he couldn't touch it as much and he wanted to. 
So he wrapped his arms around you and held on tightly as he flipped you over on your back. 
You giggled in the process and stole a kiss and he repositioned himself. When he looked at you, you were grinning up at him.
“ Oh Eddie. So serious.”
He narrowed his eyes at you and rammed himself in. Earning that yelp/ moan. He reached up to cover your mouth as he plowed into you.
“ This. Is. Serious.” He grunted. 
Your eyes got lost in the back of your head as he thrusted hard and steady. Your moans turning into whimpers and sighs as he fucks you into the bed.
And within moments your body and his reacted to the immense pleasure. 
The climax washed over you like a wave of ecstasy.
Once it passes, he rested his forehead on yours panting with you. Letting his hand fall away from your mouth. 
“ I've missed you so much.” He whispered.
You nodded in agreement that he was also missed. 
He kissed your forehead. “ I'll go find something to clean you up.”
He then pulled out slowly and put on his bottoms.
When he came back he had a warm washcloth with him. He gently cleaned between your legs then himself before pulling you to lay in his arms.
You had started tracing his tattoos. Making him smile.
That's when he found himself writing something on your arm.
‘Marry-me-yeah?’
You sighed lightly and snuggled closer to him. Tracing your answer on his chest.
‘Okay’
He raised his head to look at you. " Yeah?"
You nodded. " On one condition...You have to break the news to Grant."
Eddie threw his head back into the pillow and smacked his forehead. " Shit! He's gonna kill me."
You giggled. " Yup."
@salenorona23 @browneyes528 @ohmeg @eddiesguitarskills @trashywormeateroffics @eddie-is-a-god @crookedcrone
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Text
Daniel Ricciardo x Male reader
"Permissions"
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First fic in like a year, damn, sorry for the wait. All my interest has probably changed by now but I will still write for the previous fandoms that I liked (ex. Moon knight). I just gained an interest in F1 recently so I might write more F1 fics for the tome being considering I don't really see many f1 x male reader fics out there. Hope you enjoy!
Dan's Pov
"Uhm yea, me and my husband have this thing, where we ask each other permissions over stupid things that we know the other won't mind us doing"
I told lando as he asked why I wanted to ask my husband permission on whether I can go hang out with them or not.
"YOU HAVE A HUSBAND??" Lando asked surprised with a smile on his face.
"You didn't know? We've been together for like 9 years already and you just found out now? Wow, you never fail to surprise me each day we're together, Lando." I say with a big smile on my face.
"Thanks? Anyway, I wanna hear his reaction now. Come on, call him do your things."
"Fine, fine just relax." I say as I pull out my phone from my pocket, unlocking it and scrolling thru my contacts looking for his name.
"You saved him as 'love of my life' with three hearts? Talk about cheesy." Lando says rolling his eyes.
"Mind ya business, now shush it's ringing." I say as I hear him pick up the phone.
"What do you want?" We hear y/n say as I put him on speaker so Lando can also hear.
"Talk about moody, I just wanted to ask you if I could hangout with the boys this afternoon, we're planning on just chilling in Max's room and just maybe watch so-"
"Mate, I don't a shit, you just disturbed my sleep for that? You know you're an adult and are allowed to do whatever you want, right?"
"But I wanted to ask for your permission fiiiirst." I say drawing out the last word to annoy him further.
"Yes, you can, sometimes I wonder why I even married you in the first place."
"It's cause you loooove me."
"Piss off, I'm going back to sleep, if you call me again when you could just leave a message, you'll sleep on the couch."
"You know you need my cuddles to sleep." I say smiling wider when I see Lando giggling beside me.
"I hate that you're right, anyway, see you tonight love you. Bye Lando." We hear Y/n say the last part after a brief pause before hanging up.
"How'd he know I was with you?" Lando asked perplexed.
"He's my husband, he knows everything." I say with a laugh, while walking out of the motor home and putting my phone back in my pocket and grabbing my cap off the table.
"Wait, how long have you two been out??" I hear Lando shout after me with confusion in his voice.
"Give or take, 6 years." I say as I stopped to look at him and give him a cheeky wink.
"AND I'VE ONLY FOUND OUT TODAY THAT YOU HAD A HUSBAND???" Lando shouts as I laugh while walking away.
"You didn't know about his husband? Everyone knows about them, the whole paddock knows about them." I hear Max say with a laugh before I'm out of ear shot.
That's all for now, I'm still trying to get back into that writer mindset ya kna. Hope you enjoyed, if you didn't idk have a good life ig. Peace ✌️
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jennay · 6 months
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Honey Bee
Jolly Master List
PART ONE/PART TWO/
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You feel your throat tighten, a knot forming as you hold your phone to your ear. You feel your chest constrict, your breaths becoming shallow and ragged. You feel your eyes well up, your vision blurring. You feel your mind racing, your thoughts spinning out of control. The amount of anxiety you felt today was enough to make you leave.
Noah will know how to help you and make you feel better. He gives you honest and practical advice without judging or blaming you. He'll support you, tell you you're not alone, and always be there for you.
You hate that you feel this way, out of place. What a change from yesterday when you fully felt you were where you were supposed to be. You hoped for a different outcome, but now you knew how Jolly felt and were thankful for it, but you also felt shattered. Why couldn't life be kind for just once and let you have what you wanted?
You hear Noah's voice on the other end, but it's not the friendly greeting you hoped for. "It's only been three days, Y/n. Why are you calling me? Shouldn't you be focusing on lover boy?" He jokes. "You must be calling to thank me, right?"
You sigh and roll your eyes at his sarcasm. "Noah, please, this is serious. I need your help."
He laughs and says, "Oh, I see. You want to come back home to me, right, cause you feel bad for leaving me for so long? Well, too bad, honey. I'm taken."
You groan, "Stop it. I know you're not dating anyone, and when I come home, it won't be to YOU because we were never together, dumbass." You giggle, "You've hit full delusion without me there, huh?"
"I mean, I've had a lot of time to myself, and I've spent a lot of it in my room talking to George." He chuckles, "Anyway, what can I do for you, buttercup?"
As you walk through the tiny backyard, you admire the vibrant flowers and herbs that Jolly has grown in his garden. He's away at his mom's place, but you still feel nervous when you speak out loud. It's like you are afraid once the words come out, they will be true, and once you admit it to Noah, there is no turning back.
"I need to come home." You say, biting your lip. "I can't be here another day." You feel yourself choke over your words.
You hear him close the door on his side, and the phone crackles as he moves it closer to his mouth. "What do you mean?" He asks, sounding more concerned now. He clears his throat and lowers his voice, "Did something happen?"
"I can't talk about it at the moment. I already feel like I'm going to puke." You say, sniffing back your tears.
You can tell that Noah is getting anxious. "Did he hurt you?" He asks, his voice hard and furious. "Cause I'll come there, and I'll sort that shit out immediately."
You shake your head, even though he can't see you through the phone. "No, he didn't hurt me. Not physically, anyway." You pause, wondering how to ask him for a favor. You hate to impose on him, but you have no other option. You need to get away from this place as soon as possible. "I was just wondering if maybe you could help me out with the ticket." You whisper, hoping he won't get angry. You know you can't afford a last-minute flight back home.
Noah sighs, "Yeah, I'll see what I can find for today." The line goes silent for a moment, and when Noah speaks again, he's more gentle and kind, "I don't know what happened, but I want you to know it's going to be OK." He sounds sincere and caring, and you feel a sense of gratitude.
You feel your eyes water, but you quickly wipe them away. You don't want to cry in front of him, even if he can't see you. You want to be strong and brave like he always says you are. "I'll talk to you later." You say, trying to sound cheerful. You hang up the phone and take a deep breath. You hope he can find a ticket for you. You could really use a Noah hug about now.
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Jolly sank into the recliner, facing his mom on the couch. He couldn't look at her; he felt too embarrassed and conflicted. He kept replaying the events of last night in his head, wondering if you hated him. He knew you were hurt; you barely said a word to him for the rest of the night. He saw you lying on the couch, pretending to be asleep, but he could see your eyes flickering and your body tensing.
He wanted to tell you how much he wished things were different. He wanted to kiss you and make you feel loved and be your hero and protector, but he thought he had no right to do that. He felt like he was trespassing on something that belonged to Noah.
He thought he should back off and let you sort things out with your best friend. He couldn't shake the feeling that you had hidden feelings for Noah, even though you denied it.
You and Noah seemed perfect for each other. You had known each other for so long, had your own jokes and secrets, and shared many interests. You spent a lot of time together, and Jolly knew when you did stay the night at their place, you were always in Noah's room. He couldn't help but imagine what you did behind closed doors.
"Joakim," His mother says, breaking the silence. "Is this about that girl?" She asks, noticing his gloomy mood.
He doesn't look up, afraid of what he'll see in his mother's eyes. He knows she's worried about him, but he doesn't want to disappoint her. He continues staring at the floor and nods slightly, "I should have listened to her and kissed her. I think I ruined everything." He leans forward, resting his face in his hands, and sighs.
"Tell me what happened." She urges, moving closer to him on the couch. He sits up and crosses one leg over the other, finally meeting his mother's matching irises. "I messed it up." He groans. "We had this fun day, and at the end of the night, she leaned in for a kiss, and I turned her down."
She nods, listening, "Why, I thought you liked this one?"
He shrugs. "I do. I have, for a long time."
"What is the problem? Did you forget to tell me she was married or unavailable?" She asks, growing concerned that her son has fallen into a trap.
Jolly shakes his head, "I think she has feelings for Noah, and Noah has feelings for her, but they won't admit it." He tells her, feeling the pain crushing him all over again.
"Joakim Oskar Patrik Karlsson, I love you, but you're not very bright sometimes." She laughs, "She came all this way to see you. She wanted you to kiss her. Isn't that enough evidence?"
Jolly's eyes widen, "But Noah-"
"What about Noah? She said she doesn't have feelings for Noah. You need to believe her, and if this is what you want, why aren't you going after it?" She sighs, growing slightly frustrated, "Men." She mutters. "I raised you better than this." She stands up, walks to the front door, and opens it. "Get out."
Jolly looks at his mother with confusion, "What?" He stands up, "You're kicking me out?"
"Go talk to her. Tell her everything because if you don't, she will move on, and there will be others, and you will regret this forever." She was right; he needed to tell you before it was too late.
He kisses his mom on the cheek as he exits the cozy house. He feels nervousness and excitement; he'll do it. He needed to tell you everything: how he thought about you, dreamed of you, and wanted to be with you. He rehearses what he will say but knows words are not enough. He needs to show you how he feels.
Jolly clenches the steering wheel as he drives to his house, his heart pounding in his chest. He dials Noah's number, hoping to hear his voice and clear the air. He doesn't want to lose his best friend over this. He wants to explain himself, to apologize, to make things right. But when he calls, the phone rings once and goes straight to voicemail. He hangs up and tries again but gets the same result.
Anxiety washes over him. He wonders why Noah is ignoring him, and then a horrible thought crosses his mind. You must've called Noah first.
"Fuck." He curses under his breath.
This was going to be the worst drive home ever.
He pulls into his driveway and parks the car, but he doesn't get out right away. His chest tightens when he thinks about facing you. He doesn't know what to say to you, but he hopes his feelings will show through. Jolly finally gets out of the car and walks up the driveway. He takes a deep breath and reaches for the door handle, calling out your name as he opens the door. But he stops when he sees you walking toward him with your bags packed. He feels a jolt of shock and pain as he looks at you, his eyes wide and incredulous. He can't move, he can't speak, and he can't breathe. He stares at you as you approach him, dragging your luggage behind you.
The sound of your bag hitting the ground jolts him out of his trance. "What's going on? Where are you going?" He asks, his voice cracking with emotion. He tries to catch your eye, but you avoid his gaze.
You avert your eyes from him and clamp your mouth shut, suppressing the sob that wants to break free. You wish you had left before he came back.
"Something came up at work, and I need to go home." You lie, hoping he won't hear the quiver in your voice. He knows you too well; he knows you're lying.
"Oh," he says softly, knowing at this moment there was nothing he could do to make you stay. "Let me at least take you to the airport…"
You shake your head and adjust your backpack on your shoulder. You pull out your phone and glance at the screen, "My cab's here." You say, feeling guilt in your chest. You see the pain in his face, and it breaks your heart.
"You were going to leave without saying goodbye?" He asks, his voice barely audible.
You bite your lip and look around the room, trying to find something else to focus on—anything but him: anything but the memories you've made here. "I'm sorry, Jolly. I have to go." You say, walking past him.
He grabs your arm and hugs you tightly, holding you close.
He wants to tell you how he feels. He wants to beg you to stay. He wants to kiss you and make you forget everything else. But he can't. He loves you too much to be selfish and force you to stay. He has to let you go and hope that the two of you will reunite and things will be different.
"Be safe, Honey Bee." He whispers in your ear, then gently pulls back, looking into your eyes. He sees the tears that are about to fall. He wipes them away with his thumb. He tries to smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
You nod your head and pick up your bags, "OK." You whisper, leaving him in the doorway as you drag your bags to the cab. You look back at him one last time and see him standing there, watching you go. You feel a surge of emotion and want to run back to him, but you know you can't. You get in the cab and close the door, feeling the finality of your decision. You drive away, leaving him behind.
He lets out a soft sigh, feeling disappointed and empty. He enters his room and sits on the bed, his heart heavy with regret. He kicks off his shoes, hoping a nap will help him forget the pain. But as he looks around the room, his eyes fall on the bedside table, and he sees it: the ring he bought you, a black band with your favorite stone in the center, sitting there, mocking him. He grabs it, holds it in his hand, and tilts it back and forth, remembering how happy you were to receive it, the smile on your face, the joy in your eyes, and your sweet smile. He feels the cold metal against his skin and wonders if you were intentionally hurting him as a form of payback. He shakes his head, not sure of how he feels. He sets the ring back on the table and lays down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He feels so angry, knowing that this could've been prevented if he just would've kissed you. His heart aches with longing, and he wishes he could turn back time and make things right. But it's too late now, and all he can do is lie alone with his thoughts and regrets. He hears the clock ticking on the wall and counts the seconds, hoping they will pass faster. He closes his eyes, trying to block out the image of you walking away from him. He wonders if you'll ever forgive him, and he wonders if he'll have to watch you fall for someone else or if there is still hope for him when he returns home.
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When you arrive at the airport, Noah greets you warmly and offers to help you with your bags. "You doing OK?" he asks, his voice laced with concern. He sees the sadness and exhaustion on your face, and he knows you've been through a lot.
You nod, "Yeah, just wanna get home." You say, forcing a smile. You don't feel like talking; you just want to forget everything that happened. Noah nods in understanding and leads you out of the airport, where his car is waiting. As you walk, Noah glances over to see you staring at the ground. It's dark and cold, and you haven't yet asked him for his jacket, which surprised him. He knows you're always cold and usually lends you his jacket whenever you're together.
"Hey," he says, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. He tries to comfort you, to make you feel better. "You wanna talk about what happened?" He asks, hoping you'll open up to him. He wants to know what went wrong, what Jolly did or said to make you leave so suddenly. He wants to help you, to be there for you.
You feel a pit in your stomach as you think of the events of the last three days. You shrug your shoulders and nudge Noah's arm off you. You open the car door, still remaining silent. You're confused and angry.
Noah starts the engine, his lips pressed together as he watches you stare out the window. He feels like he's partly to blame for what happened. He was the one who encouraged you to go see Jolly, to confess your feelings, to take a chance.
"I'm sorry things didn't go how we thought they would," he says, his voice heavy with sorrow. He watches the road, purposefully missing the turn to keep you in the car a little longer. He wants to spend more time with you, to make you laugh and forget.
"Noah…" You groan. "I don't want to think about it anymore. Jolly made his choice, and now I need to move on." You lean your head on the window and watch as the rain droplets slide down the glass. You feel like they're a reflection of your tears and pain. You wish you could wash away everything that happened, everything that didn't happen and will never happen. "Please stop missing turns. I know it doesn't take this long to get home." You say, feeling impatient and restless. You want to get out of the car, out of this conversation, out of this mess.
Noah's grip tightens on the steering wheel, not out of frustration but worry. He sees the tears in your eyes and the pain on your face. "You wanna stay the night with me? We can watch a movie, and I'm sure George would love to snuggle you." He suggests, hoping you'll agree.
You shake your head again, closing your eyes and pressing your lips together. You don't want to stay with Noah, you don't want to watch a movie, you don't want to snuggle George. You just want to go home, to your own bed, to your own space, to your own misery. "I'll get him in the morning, Noah. I just really want to go home." You say, growing frustrated. You hate to sound ungrateful, but you can't stand being around anyone now. You just want to be alone.
The rest of the car ride is quiet, and it's not until you reach your apartment that you remember Noah has a key to your door.
You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face him. "Give me your key." You say, holding out your hand. You don't want him to have access to your place, check up on you, or bother you. You want to cut him off, at least for tonight.
Noah looks at you, shocked. "What?" He asks, "No." He says with wide eyes, "You said it's for an emergency, and right now, I'm worried you might have an emergency." He's afraid of what you might do. He cares about you more than you know, and he can't stand the idea of losing you, even if it's only mentally.
You stare at him with disbelief, "Noah, give me the fucking key. I just want to sleep peacefully without you annoying me because you're worried." You snap, losing your patience. You don't care about his feelings, and you don't care about his fears.
Noah can't believe you're pushing him away like this after everything you've been through together. He clenches his jaw and pulls his keys out of the ignition. He grabs the key and drops it in your hand. "Fine. Take it...just promise you'll come get George in the morning."
You force a smile and get out of the car. Noah pops the trunk, and you grab your bags, avoiding his gaze as you walk into your apartment.
You feel a twinge of guilt for how you treated Noah, but you can't help it. You're angry at him for making you believe that Jolly had feelings for you when he clearly didn't.
You drop your bags by your door and head to your bedroom, passing by one of the pictures you cherished of you and Jolly. You push your fingers under the frame and knock it off the wall, letting it fall to the floor. You hear the glass shatter and glance at the broken edge, feeling pain in your chest.
You stare at the photo of you and Jolly, your faces glowing with happiness. It was from the Fourth of July, the night you celebrated with fireworks and laughter. Noah was your photographer, capturing every moment with his phone. He teased you for being too scared to light anything but sparklers, but Jolly didn't mind. He thought you were adorable and joined you with his own sparkler. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and kissed your temple as the sparks flew around you. It was a perfect night, and you felt nothing could go wrong.
You shake the thoughts as you walk away, not bothering to clean it up.
Reaching your room, you strip out of your clothes and turn off the light. You crawl into bed and reach for your phone, squinting at the bright screen.
You see a text message from Jolly. Did you make it back safe?
You sigh and turn off your phone. You don't want to talk to him. You toss your phone aside and lie on your back, staring at the ceiling, feeling lost and confused. You can't believe you fell for Jolly after holding him at arm's length for so long; you should've trusted your instincts. How did you miss the clues that he was only being nice to you? Maybe you missed the friendly signals because of how he held you the other night in his bed, making you feel safe and serene, or was it how he would wrap his arms around your waist or rest his hands on your hips when he spoke to you? Or maybe it was the ring he gave you, telling you he wanted you to think of him whenever you glanced at it.
You roll on your side and pull the blanket over your head, muffling your sobs. You hate feeling this way. You wish you could erase him from your mind, but you know you can't. He's a part of you, and you can't let him go. You close your eyes and drift into a restless sleep, dreaming of what could have been.
Part four
Tags: @blackveilomens @xxrainstorm
@somewhere-diamond @cookiesupplier
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angelsanarchy · 7 months
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Alkaline: Euronymous x Y/N Series CH 17
Tagging: @ophelialaufey@madamemaximoff06@forever-not-gonna-sink@ajmiila02@liquidsmoothdomme@shady-the-simp @auggiethecreator @tempt-ress @blacksoul-27
Oystein had finally settled into his new apartment and had just gotten off the phone with his dad about the last payment for the record shop. He had decided to step away from focusing on making the next record to follow another one of his passions. Helvete was his new baby and his record label would be working out of the shop to expand the Black Metal genre to as many people as he possibly could.
He sat at his typewriter and placed the photo Y/n had left him with the day they last spoke on the desk to the left. He kept the old photo of himself, Y/n and Pelle just next to that one. The day she slugged him and wrote him off, she probably would have been surprised to know that he kept that photo in the inside pocket of his jacket.
He stared at the photo for a few moments before putting a piece of paper into the type writer.
"Y/n, Please read what I have to say before you toss this into the garbage. I know it's selfish of me to ask for anymore of your time but you have to know that what we had, in the beginning, that was real. All of the moments we shared where I could be myself with you- if I could have lived in those moments again, I wouldn't change a thing. You were right though, we were always doomed to fail. Our paths are just too different. I want to apologize for how I treated you the night you came to the show. I know the first time I watched Dea-"
Oystein pulls a bit of white out from the drawer and covers the beginning of his name before resuming.
"I know the first time I watched Pelle cut his arms, it was fucked up. I had no idea what to do or how to respond to that. Honestly, I've never really experienced anything like that before Pelle. I knew I couldn't let him know that because I feared it would only make him retreat more. Your response to it was normal and I'm sorry I treated you like it wasn't. I also want to apologize for how I reacted to you in the bar that night. I can't pretend I wasn't caught off guard by the guy you walked in with but that is no excuse for how I came at you. In the time that I spent not hearing your voice or seeing your face, I tried to block out all the things you made me feel. I tried to chalk it up to us being too different or this life scaring you away but that day after Pelle killed himself...I know I fucked up Y/n. I regret everything I've ever said or done that has hurt you even for a second because the only hurt you ever caused me was my own fault."
Oystein sat back in the chair, reading over what he had already written and felt incredibly vulnerable. A part of him really hopes she just trashes the letter and doesn't even bother reading it.
"I've decided to take a step back to focus more on other passions. I have started my own record label and will be operating it out of that corner shop down from Hammed's shop. I know you probably think I've done this to torment you but I've had my eye on that store for years. I want to take the creation of Black Metal and show people what it can truly be. Not all that extra, commercialized bullshit that people think it is now. I've always wanted to do this but I want to show people what we worked so hard on, what Pelle and I worked so hard on."
Oystein looked at the photo again and wished Pelle could have been here for the birth of Helvete. He thinks that a safe haven where he would never be alone is something that could have saved him.
"I know I'm just saying a lot of things that don't really mean shit to you but you were a big part of what kept me believing in myself. I hope maybe you'll give it a second chance and stop by the shop. I would love for you to see what I've created and give you a new look at what I love so much instead of wishing for its demise. I know it will never be what it was before but I feel a piece of me will always be tethered to wanting what could have been between us."
Oystein hated everything he wrote almost immediately but he couldn't just keep starting over. He wanted to send this letter before the shop actually opened in case she decided to show up and put him on blast.
"I know you'll probably always hate me and I understand why you do. I just hope you'll find a small place for me in your heart to at least try and be a better person in your eyes. Please, give me a chance to prove to you that I'm not the heartless monster you think I am."
He read it one last time before pulling it from the typewriter and signing the bottom of it. He would never admit that he actually followed her home one night just to have her address to send her this letter. He would take that to the grave. He knew this was a bad idea but he desperately needed something to keep him grounded. The nightmares he had after Pelle were unbearable. He had never been afraid of dwelling in the darkness until Pelle killed himself. Now he was worried he would sink into the darkness never to be found again. He wanted Y/n to be the one who kept him from losing himself entirely.
yours, Øystein 
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bunnygirl678 · 8 months
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Back at it again with another Reguri AU that I don't have time to write. So steal it please! Seriously feel free to write, draw, or use it to distract your mind enough to fall asleep (is that a thing other people do or am I just freaking weird)
-Red and Green are on their honeymoon in alola (duh) and they are doing a fun little couples battle with some of the alolan pokemon they've caught
-one of the tapu's sees them and wants to fuck with them cause they're unhinged (my 5 year old has rewatched the sun/moon anime like 15 times and i still can't remember which one does what)
-sends green back into time (note this is gonna be like dragon ball z time travel where it just created a new timeline or whatever)
-he gets transported midbattle with little red, but like not the championship and most of his pokemon haven't evolved yet
-Big!green is just like awwww you guys were so cute, little!red immediately realizes that somehow Green aged like 12 years in a flash and is obv confused, green explains that he was on vacay with his Red and got sent here somehow, let's go to the lab and see if gramps can help
-they travel to the lab or whatever, and the prof is immediately like "My dead son!" cause my hc is that green looks identical to his dad, and big!green is like nah sorry gramps it's just me from the future
-and they all talk and little!red is like, you aren't an asshole, anymore? and big!green like apologizes for little!green, and is like it may not seem like it but i know he cares about you, because big!green knows that during their journey he realized he had feelings for red, but like didn't want them so he just started being an asshole
-at some point daisy sees the ring and is like "oh you got married?! Whos the lucky lady anyone we know yet?" and big!green kinda like does an awkward quick glance at little!red, and is trying to figure out how to not out his past self because this isn't his secret to tell
-the prof is like 'oh holy shit you and red figured things out' cause he observes and figured it out when green was like 7 or something, and little!red is like wtf and big!green is like yeah but not for a while and then he gives little!red some training just cause what else are they going to do, plus little!red is having a crisis, cause he thinks his version of green hates him
-then it like flips to big!red's perspective and little!green shows up freaking out shouting for his red cause they were just together, and he see's big!red who is swole af and doesn't look that much like his red so he thinks his red has been kidnapped or something, and little!green goes absolutely feral, cause remember he has feelings for his red
-he's like i'll kill you, did you hurt him, where's red, and big!red is like this is the most adorable thing I've ever seen, and like big!green at one point had told him that he had feelings for Red when they were small but Red didn't really believe it until that moment, and also he's like hmmm green and i should adopt cause he's like high on honeymoon and little!green is such a cutie
-Big!Red is like i'm red, it's fine, little!green doesn't believe it until big!red brings up something that like only he would remember like they caught a caterpie together or something idk
-big!red goes and buys little!green some food and they kinda talk and little!green can't stop staring cause wow big!red looks so different, then he sees the wedding ring and is like devastated, and is trying not to cry or whatever and big!red is like able to read him like a book cause it's green even though it's little!green it's still green, and he like pulls out his phone and it's a photo from their wedding and little!green like short circuts cause he didn't even realize that was an option
-somehow they get to switch back and the other timeline red/green work out their issues quickly both with knowledge of the future and they start dating at like 14, cause 11 year olds don't date, and red never goes up the mountain except for the occasional week of training and green always goes with him and it's never angsty like the other timeline
-the alolan honeymooners are just glad to be together again and they finish their time in alola and red's like let's adopt and green's like whatever makes you happy
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ecoamerica · 2 months
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youtube
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soapyghost · 1 year
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Flicker
Firefighter Price x Fem! Reader
Hi hi! I know it's been a HOT minute since I have uploaded the story but my life has literally been insane. And i've been sick like constantly. Plz send help. Warnings: swearing, violence, obsessive behavior, we are developinggggg. Mutual pining??? Also brownie points to whomever can guess who will be introduced next chapter! WC: 1.5K Taglist: @330bpm-whiplash @blueoorchid @deadbranch @sofasoap @c0wb0yenthusiast @emmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaa @fruitymoonbeams-blog @averyyreads @lostmypopsicle @jxvipike @moonlighting87 @amatis-gray @nfg-miimochii @bangirl134 @ofmenanduhhhwellmen @elliestark13
The receipt burned a hole in your back pocket all shift. Every time you thought about it your entire face blushed crimson. The super hot firefighter who saved you from a burning building, while you were half naked, just wrote his number. For you. You felt like a school girl all over again, butterflies in your stomach and sweaty palms. When your shift finally ended it took everything in your power not to rush to the backroom and whip out the paper.
When you finally made it back to your locker and retrieved your phone you immediately input Price's number under "John *emoji*". What were you going to say? "Hey sorry I've basically stolen your jacket for the last week?" You groan out loud and rest your head back on the lockers. Your fingers hovered over the phone, dancing around the screen trying desperately to come up with something that doesn't make you sound desperate.
The loud slam of the backroom door jolted you out of your daydream and caused you to nearly jump out of your shoes. Your eyes flicked to the hallway door as you waited to see if whoever was that pissed was coming your way. Sure as shit, the heavy footsteps were coming your way and within seconds Shepherd's bulky frame was in the doorway.
"What the fuck was that Y/N?" he boomed, you had never seen such anger from him before. "I-i I'm not sure what you're-" you stuttered, "Acting like that in MY restaurant?!" He interrupted. The tone of his voice was nothing like the Shepherd you'd been so used to. "Sir?" you squeak, not sure how to handle this situation. You really hadn't done anything that you could think of.
And then it hit you, "You mean talking to the 141?" you questioned, finally meeting his eyes, which where black. His pupils were blown with pure anger. "Are you stupid?" he roared, "You left the rest of your tables to go and flirt with that group of degenerates!"
Degenerates? The 141? What in the world had happened between Shepard and the 141 that makes him hate them so? And flirt? "Sir, I wasn't flirting. I was just thanking them for saving me." you replied, still shocked at the sudden change in your manager. So this was the Shepherd everyone had warned you about.
Your brain finally snapped into flight mode. Your eyes snapped down to your phone which still had the text screen open to John, you closed your eyes and silently you thanked those stupid typing tests that you took in school where they covered the keyboard and began to type "help" from memory. You hit where you thought was the send key and prayed to whatever higher being was out there that it went out.
"Saved you? You think that disgusting group of nobodies SAVED you?" he barked. "Oh no no sweetheart, I saved you" Shepherd said, several octaves lower than he had been previously talking. "I gave you a job here when nobody else would" he began, "I let you take time off after that little fire in your apartment" he began getting closer to you effectively cutting off your only exit.
What was he talking about? Saved you? Your mind was spinning and you couldn't think straight. "It should be me you should be thanking" he growled, lowering his face to be inches away from yours. His breath fanned against your face, hot and foul. "Sheppard what are you doing?" you squeak trying desperately to find some way to get out of this situation.
But he didn't hear you, "But no, you go and thank that sorry excuse for a Captain. John" He spat out John's name like it was a curse. "Your entire existence in this town was thanks to me!" he yelled, slamming his fist into the locker next to your head. The thud of the metal caused you to jump.
"Shepherd please I didn't do anything" you pleaded with him, hoping this would calm him for just enough time for John to get here and save you. You heard the backroom slam open and the thudding of heavy feet running your way. Shepherd heard it too because he whipped around just in time to see John Price burst through the locker room.
"What the FUCK do you think you're doing Shepherd?" he roared, launching himself at Shepherd and shoving him harshly to the ground. He then stepped around him so that he was standing between you and the man on the ground. Shepherd groaned, clearly in pain "what the fuck are you doing here?" "What am I doing here? What the hell are you doing?" he snapped.
But before he let Shepherd respond he grabbed your wrist and pulled you away from the lockers. He shoved his keys into your hand before looking into your eyes and whispering, "go. get in my car" before letting your hand go. He didn't need to tell you twice and you bolted to the front of the restaurant and out to the parking lot. You looked down at the keys in your hand, Chevy.
Your eyes scanned the parking lot before landing on the dark grey Chevrolet pickup truck parked haphazardly in 3 different parking spaces. Without thinking you click the unlock on the keys and throw yourself into the passenger side. You made sure to lock the doors 6 times over, not knowing who or what might come out of the restaurant.
You could feel your heart in your throat as you looked at the double doors waiting and hoping John would come out ok. The door swung open and there he was, cradling his right hand but, alive. He rounded to the drivers side door and pulled on the handle. The door didn't budge and it took you a second to realize you hadn't unlocked it for him yet. You shakily pushed the button and a soft click sound ran through the cabin of the truck before he opened the door and hopped in.
"You came" you whispered, tears welling in your eyes. Price's blue eyes met yours as he pulled you in for a hug, "always" he whispered back. You stayed there for a minute, just basking in the warmth and safety of his arms. You tried desperately not to cry as you pulled away slowly. You glance down to his right hand and see his knuckles are bloody.
"John your hand!" you gasp, grabbing it in your own. You hear John chuckle, "been through worse, luv." You look up at him again to see him smiling down at you. "Can I have my keys so I can take you home?" he asked, gesturing at his keys which were still in your hand. "Oh" you murmur, before handing them over to him so he can start the truck, but his hand never left yours.
"Are you alright?" he asked once the two of you were out of the restaurants parking lot. The question smashed the dam of tears you had been holding back, and they began to spill down your cheeks. "H-He was s-so mad at me" you whimpered. You clamped your eyes shut to hopefully avoid anymore tears from flowing. "I'm so sorry luv. He won't ever hurt you again" Prices voice was firm.
The rest of the drive back to your friends house was fairly quiet. It was mostly you giving John directions. When you arrived, you begged John to let you take a look at his hand before he left. "Oh alright, but you stay there." he groaned, but he was smiling. He turned off the car and hopped out. You sat there a bit confused before you realized he was coming around to open the door for you.
You began to open the door, but Price shut it. "I said stay there" he said through the door. You laughed and held up your hands in mock defeat. Price opened the door and offered his hand to help you down from the truck, pulling a giggle from you. "Such a gentlemen" you quip.
You lead John up to your friends place begging silently that she wouldn't be there. You unlocked the door and yelled, "Hello? April?" But the house was silent. You let out a sigh of relief. "Wait here let me grab some bandages" you told John before heading over to the bathroom. "This is really unnecessary Y/N" he replied.
When you returned with the bandages you motioned for him to take a seat at the kitchen table. You grabbed his hand and grabbed Neosporin. "I don't need all that" he complained, "I been through a lot worse with a lot less." You shot him a look to which he sighed and let you continue your work. Once you were finished he flexed his hand a few times, "good as new" he beamed, "thanks Y/N"
"It should be me thanking you John. What happened back there?" you ask, only slightly afraid of the answer. "Doesn't matter. All that does is that you're safe and you won't have to go back there" he stated. "John I have to!" you exclaim. How were you going to make money? "I don't have another job" you cried, feeling the tears well up again. "Oh luv no" John whispered, grabbing your face in his hands using his thumb to wipe away the stray tear that had fallen. "I think I know just the person to help you out" he smiled.
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wibta if I started a different discord chat for my friend group just to exclude one person
I know it sounds bad and that I'm just starting shit but we've all been friends for 10+ years now so it's not something I'm considering lightly. We currently have a private discord server of just the 4 of us that we switched to as opposed to a traditional gc since we all have different phones and its good for having multiple conversations, quality photos and videos, and keeping a clear record of when and where plans are made
Anyway, this isn't a recent problem but the friend (A) has always had a tardiness problem it started with her not being able to wake up early in the morning but even if we have late night/afternoon plans she still can't get dressed and/or finish her makeup on time and causes us to be consistently at least 1 hour late which I was hoping she'd start growing out of after highschool but this isn't the case (we're now all 22+) and is especially frustrating when going out to eat bc by the time we leave all of us are hangry and expected to eat hours earlier. Recently A has started prioritizing other friends of hers which is nbd she can have other friends we all do except she'll drop plans last min with us to go with them which is also annoying bc it's disrespectful for the rest of us to be blown off like that. We're clearly not her priority anymore but she always expects to be ours, plans have to be on her work schedule, on her timeframe, on if she will be tired etc. plus being an afterthought leaves out a friend in the group (B) who had to move out of state with family and now he can't tell if we're making plans behind *his* back and he feels left in the dark when in truth he knows as much as I and the other local friend (C) do
It's to the point we've stopped doing any plans that start before like 2pm because we can't rely on her to be ready but she'll be upset if we don't wait for her while she's still getting ready, esp cuz we usually carpool, which already limits what we want to do together in the first place
However, it was my birthday recently and I'm currently ~2hr drive (no more than 3 with heavy traffic) from A and C, who doesn't have a car and needs to be picked up by A. I really wanted to go to my fav breakfast place and had some other plans for after and I kept emphasizing what time A needed to get here because the place closes early (they only serve breakfast). And at this point no one should be surprised she didn't arrive until after 1pm, after the place was closed, and at that point no one had eaten all day so we had to rush and find somewhere else that'd be open and nearby bc we were all starving and half my plans for the day were gone bc they were based on places we'd go after breakfast that also close in the afternoon (2-5 depending on the place) and since they are my closest friends and dont know my other friends who live closer and I've only known for less than 2 yrs (who I wasn't comfortable to ask for bday presents from yet still) (still got one from 1 even tho I insisted they didn't have to tho lol) they were the only people I made solid birthday plans with this year so it was really heartbreaking to deal with and have everything I was excited for be cancelled since it's hard for me to go out like this on my own w anxiety and busy work schedule too but I scheduled the day off. I was hoping that she would try even just a little bit because it was my birthday the one day I ask for literally anything and we rarely see each other now bc of conflicting work schedules and I DID plan for her to be semi late in secret but I didn't expect her to arrive for breakfast after 12
Anyway that's the whole backstory plus the recent straw on the camel's back but I just want to make a new chat between me, B, and C, to plan virtual movie and game nights bc she never reads the events chat anyway and all our online call plans grind to a halt for hours or days waiting for an answer bc at least C still wants to try and include A even tho her schedule is so busy or she's tired or will prob be late to the call and make us wait for her or cancel or leave early or we debate what game/movie A wants but she doesn't even NEED to be there it's just like.. Minecraft. Or a pirated 90s movie we're streaming or wtvr
I've tried saying like "hey I'm gonna be playing x on Saturday if anyone's free come and join me" but that usually just ends in me gaming alone bc it's so noncommittal the others will catch up on other work they have but really I'm just trying to hang with any of them even if 1 person can't make it at the time we don't always have to only call in a group yk?
A is nice otherwise like she's still my friend just planning anything with her is starting to be like pulling teeth and I still want to keep in touch with her and hear how she's doing from our discord server but stuff like that I just want to start separating her from weekly calls (which are currently more like monthly) bc she's so flakey but I know it's kinda shitty to purposefully leave her out and she'd be upset if she ever found out I was doing that.
I'm also open to advice on how to deal with this situation in general, thus the detail, without causing a huge fight or make anyone pick sides +her tardiness won't be something we can talk through it's something we've worked on for years and recently have just given up and accepted since she's late even to things that are important to her
What are these acronyms?
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topherwrites · 6 months
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pls pls elaborate singing in the shower & spy au im so curious!! <3
"Singing in the Shower" is the tentative title for a shower sex jake fic with too much plot added in.
here's a snippet from the rough draft under the cut, 18+ only:
His voice takes on a familiar tone, the same one from flight school when he’d be picking apart why a maneuver didn’t work, or more specifically why someone else had failed at it. Like your inability to orgasm tonight is just an engineering problem. A little math, a little grease, and he can fix this. “What isn't working?” “Well, every time I get close I remember whose dick is in me.” He rolls his eyes, his voice taking on a bored tone, “We’ve established that you do not hate me enough for that." You stay silent, refusing to admit that you do not, in fact, hate him enough to deny yourself an orgasm. He hasn't done anything genuinely hackles-raising in some time, having toned down at least twenty percent of his dickishness, so there's less active resentment being worked out while you're fucking.  It's easy and fun being with him. Oh god, you like seeing his texts light up your phone. You enjoy his purposively bad sexts, that you're sure he only sends so you'll come over and fuck him to get him to stop. You come to the horrifying, jarring conclusion that he may very well be your friend, sort of. Fuck. Biting your lip, you amend, “Fine, maybe it's not that.” “I gathered.” He nudges you, “I can tell something’s going on up there, wanna fill me in?” “No.” You admit with a little sigh, “I don't know.” “Well, I'm tired, so we’re just going to sit here.” “Sorry, my pussy is broken today.” Your phrasing draws a little stomach-tensing laugh out of him, eyes creasing as he looks at you. His perfectly calloused palms slide up and down your thighs. His lips are curved into a soft little smile. “It’s fine.” “You can just…” your eyes focus on a water droplet on his collarbone, eyebrows jumping in allusion, unable to really say it, “if you want to.” He catches the implication; he can just get off and be done with it if he wants. Annoyance twists his features, his brow furrowing, though it doesn't feel wholly directed at you. “Jesus, I can feel myself getting soft,” he scoffs, “You're not a fleshlight.” And you actually can feel him start to lose his erection under you.
The spy au I'm currently working on came about mostly cause I saw Greg Tarzan Davis in the newest Mission Impossible and simply couldn't help myself. I also love spy stuff, I've always been intrigued by media that had spies in it since I was a kid. I grew up watching the Bond movies and shows like Nikita, Covert Affairs, Burn Notice, and Chuck. Most of which have a decidedly more pg or pg-13 tone than my au.
I'm planning on it being a few different interconnected series (maybe?).
All of their call signs and the nicknames for the reader are codenames in this.
So, an agent who was previously presumed dead, Spectre, she and Jake, aka Hangman, were partners and after her death he was never really the same. He's been on desk duty for the past two years.
Bob, an analyst on the team, was asked by Jake to put an indefinite facial recognition alert for her. So it kicks off with him getting a hit for her in London. The Operations Manager, Mav, brings Bradley onto the case, ordering him not to tell Jake about the revelation until they know more, and sending him to London to track Spectre down.
There in London, to play nice with a foreign government and give the impression that they respect jurisdiction, he's teamed up with an MI5 agent, Rook.
Shit spirals from there.
here's a snippet:
A last wet little gurgle leaves his throat as he goes still, his eyes left staring toward nothing. His head hangs back limply, red clinging to the corners of his slack mouth, the viscera of his throat exposed. Blood rhythmically drips to the floor. The pool grows beneath him. This sort of thing used to shake you, now you just follow a well-run routine, not necessarily numb, but devoid of the emotions doing something as grotesque as this should provoke. Violence should stir, you know this, you used to be stirred by it.  The first time you killed someone it was sloppy and panicked, you cried afterward. Mav sealed it with the stamp of self-defense, a good kill, but it didn't rid you of the lingering feeling of being damned. Maybe, the last vestiges of growing up catholic. You used to be a mourner, silently giving them their last rights, knowing the weight of every life. A witness to people’s final drawn breaths. Now, you're a butcher. You don't leave the blood for long, scrubbing your hands in the sink before it settles and dries in the cracks.
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lemonluvgirl · 2 years
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PROMPT REQUEST!! ❤️❤️
[Post-mj, growing back together]
katniss goes down on peeta for the first time?? Bonus if she asks advice from johanna beforehand and johanna being johanna, goes into explicit detail causing katniss to panic HAHAHA LOVE YOUR WORK ❤️❤️❤️
bonus pt. 2, if Peeta returns the favor 😏
Alright anon. I’ve been working on this all week. So I hope you like it. Also this song I Was Born to Love You  by Ray LaMontagne was the track I picked for this fic. The lyrics: 
You’re the only one I can talk to  The only one I can really read  I know you give because you want to Don’t you think its time to let yourself receive? 
really resonated with me when I was writing this story. 
The Only Opinion That Matters
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"And then what?" Katniss asked in a choked whisper.
"Well, once it's in your mouth there are only a few things to worry about. First of all, try not to choke. You don't want to take too much at once, especially on your first try. Just fit however much feels comfortable in your mouth. Remember to leave a little room for thrusting. He may get excited if it feels really good. If that happens, and it's too much for you, pull back a little and use your hand to cover the rest. Use a rhythm you already know he likes in tandem with bobbing your mouth up and down. It's basically like giving him a hand job while using your mouth to stimulate the head of his penis. You've jacked him off before right?" Johanns asked very matter of factly.
Katniss felt like her face was turning scarlet at Johanna’s words. She probably looked like a bright red beacon broadcasting her embarrassment to the world. She cringed self consciously even though she was alone in her kitchen and Johanna couldn’t see her over the phone. This conversation was seriously testing her comfort limits. And yet, she had to finish it. There was literally no one else she could ask about this kind of thing.
"Yeah, I've um," Katniss couldn't quite bring herself to use Johanna's crass name for the method she had been using to bring Peeta pleasure lately, "used my hand on him before." Katniss finished, thinking about how she had just used her hand on him this morning, and he had said thank you by using his mouth on her. Twice.
That was Peeta for you though, always giving twice as much and never really asking for anything in return.
It made Katniss feel, well not exactly guilty. More like his selflessness spurred her to forget her own insecurities and focus on how much she wanted to give back to him the same kind of pleasure he gave to her on a regular basis. Her only problem was her lack of knowledge and experience. Hence, the call to Johanna.
"Then you already know how to work that aspect. Just keep a steady rhythm. Remember to breathe through your nose. If you’re feeling confident and you already know he likes to have his balls played with, or his ass grabbed while getting stroked then try adding that in as well. But whatever you do, don't use your teeth! Most guys don't like it, and even if they do it's got to be done with a very light touch, and only someone with a fair amount of experience can usually pull something like that off. So stick to using your tongue, hands, and some moderate suction. Right now your main objective is simply to cover the basics." Johanna advised.
"But what if he wants something exciting instead of basic and-" Katniss asked in a nervous voice.
"Brainless, he's probably gonna lose his shit three minutes in. If he can last that long. No need to get fancy. Trust me. Just pay attention to his cues."
"Cues?"
"Cues, tells, signals, you know the things he does when he's about to come."
Katniss thought for a moment about the way Peeta's breathing changed, the way he tilted his hips, and made little noises every time he got close to finishing.
"You do know what his tells are, don't you?"
"Of course I do." Katniss bit back a little indignantly. She and Peeta had been slowly but surely progressing further in their intimate relationship for a while now. There was hardly a night where his head didn't end up between her thighs and she didn't stroke him to completion. Many nights it happened more than once. 
Johanna just chuckled at Katniss’ obvious annoyance.
"Well, alright then. Good to know you've started paying attention to the guy, finally. Now there's only one more thing we need to cover."
"What's that?" Katniss bit back angrily, growing more frustrated because of Johanna’s subtle digs. 
"The finale, of course! If you’ve been getting hot and heavy with Loverboy like you said then you ought to know what I'm talking about, Brainless!"
Finale? Katniss wondered to herself, bewildered. She had no idea what Johanna was talking about. The only finale she could think of was the showdown between the final two competitors in The Hunger Games. Which was not something that she wanted to remind Peet of while they were...
At her prolonged silence, Johanna started snickering and then she started talking again.
"You know, the end of the night fireworks, the volcanic eruption, the bursting of the dam...” 
“I think I-” Katniss tried to interrupt but Joahnna just spoke over her.
“The explosion at the yogurt factory, the erection ejection, the-” 
“I GET IT JOHANNA!” Katniss’ shouted indignantly. It was immediately followed by loud cackles coming from the other side of the phone line. 
“Glad to know you’re up to date on the lingo, Brainless. But tell me this, have you decided what you want to do with said finale when the time comes?” 
“What do you mean? Like swallow it or something?” Kantiss asked, voice barely above a whisper, and extremely nervous and strained sounding. She knew some people did that. But she wasn’t sure she wanted to try it. The thought kind of terrified her.
“Swallow, spit it out, pull back and let him come on your tits or stomach, the possibilities are many.” Johanna replied with a lazy sounding hum.
Katniss was positive she could actually hear Johanna grinning at her discomfort over the phone. 
“I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, actually.” Katniss admitted. It was enough for her to juggle the logistics of all the things she was supposed to do to get Peeta to orgasm.
“Well, you should really think about it. It could happen pretty fast….. Anyway, I’d better let you go. I’m expecting a call from my head doctor at 2, so...” 
“Yeah, of course. Sorry to keep you-and thanks again, for all your....help.” Katniss replied. She cringed again at how awkward she sounded, like she had just thanked Johanna for lending her a book or something benign like that. 
“No problem, and Katniss?” The teasing tone suddenly left Johanna’s voice and Katniss waited breathlessly for whatever she said next. 
“He’s crazy about you, and he’s going to love this.” Johanna said so sincerely that Katniss was caught off guard for a moment, but then Joahnna had to go and ruin it by adding, “So even if you screw up, and don't get him off he’s still gonna think the sun shines outta your ass, no matter what.” Johanna finished with a loud belly laugh and Katniss groused at her to shut up. She reluctantly thanked her again, in a grudging tone and promised to call back tomorrow and fill her in on the results. It had been the price Johanna had enacted for all her ‘help’. 
The call clicked, and ended and Katniss was left alone in the kitchen with her thoughts. 
She mentally went over Johanna’s checklist in her head a few times, after she ran through the instructions on how to get things started there was nothing else to do but shower and wait for Peeta to come home. 
~
Peeta returned home promptly at 5:30, as usual. He washed up and they had a light dinner while discussing their respective days. Katniss left out her phone call to Johanna, because she wanted to surprise Peeta later. 
After working on the plantbook for a bit, Katniss felt anxious. She wasn't able to concentrate properly so she feigned being tired and suggested they retire to bed early. Peeta lifted one of his eyebrows in surprise, clearly not buying her over dramatic yawn, but he followed her up the stairs just the same. 
Once inside the bedroom Katniss had to get a hold of her nerves. She allowed Peeta to use the bathroom first, and scurried to her closet to take a deep breath. She tried not to think of all the many ways this could go wrong, and instead focused on finding what Johanna had called a ‘mood setting outfit’. 
There were an array of possibilities, her closet was literally still stuffed with clothes that Cinna had made for her before he--
Katniss shook her head to clear it of melancholy thoughts. She had spent many a day mourning Cinna and his prodigious talent for creating things of beauty with needle and thread. She and Peeta had vowed not to wallow in grief and instead to remember and treasure the good memories and beautiful things left behind by the ones they had lost. 
Cinna had no doubt come to the conclusion that one day she would wake up and realize that she loved and wanted Peeta just as much as he did her, and he had diligently crafted several beautiful night gowns with more than just comfortable sleep in mind. But those Katniss felt had always been meant to be used on their honeymoon. It just didn’t feel right to use them now. 
Maybe someday, if Peeta ever decided to ask her again, for real....
Focus! Katniss told herself sternly, as she recalled Johannah’s advice. 
Since you’re not the type to casually tell a guy to drop his pants, you’ll have to get your intentions across some other way. It could be as simple as giving him a certain look, or even wearing something sexy to bed.
While Katniss wished she knew just what look to give Peeta to communicate her desires wordlessly, she knew she just wasn’t that good. Yet. 
So she cast around for ideas until her eyes landed on a shirt that lay on the floor of the closet, near the hamper. It was a plain white shirt that belonged to Peeta, that he often wore around the house and to sleep in. It was a piece of clothing that she often borrowed from him in the morning when she couldn’t find her own clothes and was too lazy to go hunting for them behind the bed.  
It was large and soft and comfortable. Plus, it smelled like Peeta. Like his skin and his bath soap and the lingering traces of his baking spices. Just heavenly. 
She undressed quickly and took off her slippers. Then she gingerly unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor, and she grabbed the shirt from the hanger and slipped it over her head. Nervousness and excitement flooded her body at the same time and her hand shook a little when she turned the knob to exit the closet. 
She found Peeta in bed. The main overhead light had been turned off and only the bedside lamp was on. Peeta was already reclining atop the sheets and reading a pamphlet about the new laws governing opening small businesses. His chest was gloriously bare and his gray cotton sleep pants hugged his trim hips deliciously. 
Now that the world had changed and she was convinced that she would actually get to keep him after all, she had stopped being so afraid of staring at him. 
She drank in the strong lines of his body. Every part of him was beautiful despite the lines of fire that licked across his body and left behind their mark. Now that he was hers, she could admit that just the sight of him made her want. Deep in her bones, there was something that ached for him in an ancient way that went beyond words, sometimes beyond thoughts. 
She just knew that Peeta belonged with her, to her, and she to him. 
He looked up, as if he sensed her, and Katniss felt her breath catch at the movement. The way his breathtakingly blue eyes roamed up and down her body made her feel a million things at once. 
“I love it when you wear my shirt.” He stated, his eyes catching on the naked skin of her thighs and lingering there before returning to her face. 
“I know,” Katniss replied, more confidently than she felt. She walked towards him slowly, just as Johanna had instructed, to draw out the tension. 
You gotta build the anticipation. Give him a naughty look and then walk over really slowly. Make his head spin with possibilities. Once you've got him thinking about sex you're halfway there.
Katniss heard Johanna's advice playing in her head as she tried to sway her hips seductively with each step. It was a good thing the distance from the closet to the bed was relatively small. 
She managed to make it to the corner of the bed before losing her balance. She covered up her stumble by leaning forward on all fours so she could inch her way towards him. He hadn’t seemed to notice her failed attempt at seductive walking.
Katniss watched as Peeta’s eyes darkened in real time, and his pupils expanded outwards to drink in the sight of her crawling across the bed to him. 
“What are you up to?” Peeta questioned, when she swung one leg over to the other side of his hip and sank down to straddle him. 
“I just wanted to try something.....” Katniss replied evasively, and before he could ask another question she sealed her lips over his and gave him a deep, passionate kiss. 
Peeta moaned into the kiss, his hands reaching out to bracket her hips and pull her down over him. Katniss sighed in relief. 
Kissing Peeta put Katniss at ease. It was something she knew how to do by now very well, and she took some time to revel in the softness of his lips and the tantalizing flicks of his tongue before breaking off and moving in a downwards trajectory. 
She kissed his strong, square jaw and down his neck, lingering for a bit over his pulse and nipping at his ear until she could feel him stirring beneath her. He was half hard by the time she kissed across his collarbone and by the time her mouth reached his stomach he was rocking against her subtly from underneath. 
She looked up at him from under her lashes as her hands moved to pull down the waistband of his pants, and his breath caught. 
She knew the image he was likely seeing was a new and unexpected one. She had helped undress him before, but not in this position, with her mouth so close to his cock. 
“Are you--? I mean do you want to? Katniss?” Peeta’s flustered questions made her cheeks heat, but the desire and hopefulness in his eyes was easy to read. 
Once you start getting each other naked cut the chit chat down to a minimum. When the clothes come off it should be all feeling. Skin on skin, the way he smells and tastes, the way he moans your name. The only conversation required should be some dirty talk. If you're up for it.
Johanna's voice reverberated in her thoughts. Peeta had often used her name when they were in bed together but he'd never said anything explicit or dirty. Katniss wondered if by taking this new step that might change things between them...
She wasn't sure if she was in favor of that or not. She’d never done any of this before but she thought there was a good chance that if it was Peeta who was whispering naughty words to her in the privacy of their bedroom she might enjoy it. 
So in answer to his question, Katniss just bent down and took the elastic band of his underwear in her teeth and proceeded to gently tug them down. 
“Shit, holy shit.” She heard Peeta murmur and his excited, almost disbelieving tone made her chuckle softly. 
With a little help from him, his boxer briefs came off quickly. 
Once he was naked, Katniss sat up and slowly inched his shirt off her body as well, leaving her only in her plain cotton underwear. 
Peeta groaned out loud, and whispered her name like a plea when her breasts came into his field of vision and Katniss smiled a small, secret smile, pleased that something so simple could affect him so deeply. 
But then again, didn’t he have the same effect on her? She looked down at his hard length, thick and swollen with want and she squeezed her thighs together to relieve the ache seeing him erect and ready caused in her. 
She wanted to touch him, taste him, make him feel good. 
But all of Johanna's instruction went out the window the longer she stared at his erection. She forgot how to even start. 
How was she going to get it all in her mouth? And what happened if he thrusted too hard and made her gag? Would she throw up? Something gross like that could traumatize both of them. What if he wanted her to swallow? She didn't think she was ready to do that!
"Uh, Katniss? Where did you just go right now?" Peeta's voice broke her out of her internal spiral.
She looked back up at him, wide eyed and blushing in embarrassment. She hadn't even begun and she had already messed up.
"I'm right here." Was the only thing Katniss could think to say.
Peeta gave her an incredulous look.
"You know you don't have to do this. I don't expect you to go down on me just because I like to go down on you." Peeta told her in a serious voice.
Katniss cringed at the conclusion he had drawn. She obviously had been putting out some kind of signal that had been interpreted as reluctance. She felt terrible.
"That's not it! I really, really want to do this! Not just for you, but for me too!" She cried in frustration.
Peeta eased her off his lower half and sat up then.
"Okay, then talk to me. What's got you so..."
“I just…forgot how to start! I’ve been going over and over what Johanna said to do in my head all night long and I forgot the first part!” Katniss finally admitted, unable to look up from the bedspread to meet Peeta’s gaze. 
“You asked Johanna? For advice about…us?” Peeta’s amused reply ignited fury in her. 
“Because I don’t know how to do any of this…complicated sex stuff!” Katniss spat, and crossed her arms over her breasts. Peeta followed the motions of her arms and his brow furrowed in confusion. He looked momentarily put out by her covering her chest up, but he quickly returned his eyes to her face. 
“Complicated? What’s complicated about it? It's just you and me. It doesn’t matter what we do Katniss, as long as it's just us and it's because it's what we want.” 
“Yeah, you say that but what if I take too much of you in my mouth too quickly and I gag? Or throw up? What if I can’t find a good rhythm or I accidentally scrape you with my teeth?! Johanna said guys hate that!” Katniss argued. 
Peeta got that amused look back on his face. 
“Katniss, if any of those things happen, we’ll deal with them.” 
“But what if I’m not any good or-” Katniss continued pouring out her doubts.
“Katniss.” Peeta said more firmly, as he placed his hand on her forearm. 
“I won’t ask you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. Nothing in our relationship is ever going to be forced or coerced for either of us again. Now, if this is something you actually want to do, we’ll take it one step at a time. You don’t have to worry about impressing anyone. It’s just me and you, and ours is the only opinion that matters.” 
Peeta’s words got through to her, as they always did and suddenly her swirling and confusing thoughts settled and her mind became clear and steady once more. 
“Lay back.” She asked him with a small smile, her confidence returning. 
Peeta looked momentarily surprised. 
“Please,” Katniss added and that seemed to move him. He reclined gently against the pillows and watched as Katniss sat between his thighs. 
She began to kiss the tops of them, her lips tickled by his coarse but nearly invisible leg hair. She reached up to massage his balls gently as she kissed her way up his legs, something she knew he liked from her previous experience exploring his body when she only used her hands. 
When her mouth reached the crease between his hip and groin the earthy, spicy scent of him grew stronger and she flicked out her tongue tentatively to taste him. 
His breath hitched at the tiny wet sensation, so near to where his erection was coming back to life. The closer she got to his cock, the harder he got. Katniss could practically feel the anticipation rolling off him in waves. He was probably imagining what her mouth would feel like on him. She was just as eager to experience it as well. 
She had been wanting to do this for him for a while. 
So when she kissed the last bit of space before she reached the base of him, she pulled back and looked in his eyes, to tell him just that. 
“Peeta, just so you know, I want this. I want to do this for you, and with you. You make me feel so good all the time. So happy, and safe. I just want to give this to you right now, because I want you to feel just a little bit of how happy and alive you make me feel everyday.” Katniss told him, and she only waited a second to register the look of utter adoration he gave her in return before she descended on him, laving her tongue along his length from root to tip. He tasted interesting. The fluid that leaked from his tip was slightly salty, but his skin smelled like his shower soap and that indefinable Peeta-ness that she associated with him alone. He was hot, and hard in her mouth, but his skin was so smooth and silky. She could feel his texture even better on her tongue than when he was in her hand. 
“Oh, fuck.” She heard him say in a shocked but pleasure filled voice when she flicked her tongue out to circle and dance around his head, so she did it again. Then she started exploring.
She licked him, without self consciousness, teasing around the crown of his head, along the path of his veins, in the crevice between his foreskin and his shaft, everywhere. 
Soon he was swearing to a long forgotten creator, and whoever was listening. Then she wrapped her lips around his tip, sealing him in the wet cavern of her mouth and he let out a groan so tortured and full of pleasure that Katniss felt wetness seep out of her body and soak her underwear. 
She hadn’t anticipated how arousing it would be to be the one giving the pleasure in this way. She did what felt natural, and added her hand to cover the rest of his thick shaft that didn’t fit in her mouth, and when she got a good rhythm down she began to add suction. 
“Oh! Fuck! Please suck it like that, please!” He begged in a ragged voice and Katniss obliged him readily. 
“Baby, you’re so good at that,” Peeta panted as he reached out to run his fingers in her hair. “I don’t know why you were so--Ah!--so nervous!” Peeta praised her and Katniss looked up at him through her lashes without stopping her ministrations. 
“Oh my fucking—Just look at you! Fucking beautiful! Sucking my cock so damn-ah-so-so-good!” Katniss felt her breathing pick up at Peeta’s words. 
So that was dirty talk? She felt her cheeks heating even more and her clit literally throbbing with need. She had to break off from sucking for a second to get her breath back, so she used her hand to keep pumping him. She squirmed on the bed restlessly before moving to straddle one of Peeta’s legs, then she resumed sucking him as she rubbed her soaked panties along Peeta’s thickly muscled leg. 
“Is this making you wet? Oh, god, Katniss…I’m gonna eat you out so good after this. I’m gonna fucking live between your thighs until morning. You just wait.” Peeta promised and it only made her redouble her efforts. 
She alternated between longer periods of sucking and quick pauses to lick around the head of his cock, never stopping the movements of her hand. 
Then she felt it. The change in Peeta’s breathing. The subtle angling of his hips. The more primal sounding edge to his moans. 
“Katniss, I’m gonna come, move baby,” Peeta said in a thick voice. 
Katniss suddenly, stubbornly, resolved to see things through. 
She knew what a little bit of him tasted like. Johanna had described the clear fluid that had leaked from his tip as precome. That hadn’t been so bad. So, Katniss thought she’d probably be ok letting him finish in her mouth. 
“Katniss,” Peeta warned, as he pushed back on her shoulder, trying to dislodge her. 
But she resolutely remained, bobbing her head and moving her tongue along the underside of his cock as she sucked. 
She wished she could have watched him as he got closer, but she got caught up in the moment and forgot to open her eyes, navigating mostly by the feel of his body’s responses and the sounds he made.
“Fuck, fuck! I can’t—Ohhh…..yeah, god, baby, take it. Take it all…..” Peeta moaned the words brokenly as he gently palmed the back of her head and thrust in just a little at the end. His cock pulsed inside her mouth and she actually felt each twitch on her tongue. Her mouth filled with each spurt of his cock, and it happened so fast that she could barely angle her mouth in time so that it pooled on top of her tongue instead of shooting down her throat. 
That was when Katniss realized that semen actually tasted different than precome. A little saltier, definitely thicker, and also slightly metallic? 
She had never tasted anything like it and it wasn’t actually something she was expecting, so while Peeta collapsed boneless and sated into the mattress, groaning, she gingerly got up and slipped into the bathroom to spit the stuff out into a towel, which she then promptly tossed in the dirty towel hamper. 
She looked at herself in the mirror after wiping her mouth. 
She looked flushed and bright eyed and slightly dreamy. If she didn’t know better she would have sworn she had been the one to just orgasm. 
At the thought of orgasm, Katniss felt a small proud smile creep onto her face. It widened into a full blown grin when she remembered just how enthusiastic Peeta had been and how much he seemed to like everything she did. 
Johanna’s going to be so surprised I went through with it. Katniss thought to herself smugly. 
She had actually really enjoyed herself, and she knew that the days of only giving Peeta handjobs were at an end. 
“What’s taking so long in there? The night’s not over yet, Sweetheart. And I’m nowhere near done with you.” Peeta’s voice interrupted her thoughts loudly. 
Katniss smiled again, as she made her way back to the bathroom doorway. She leaned against the frame and tossed Peeta a cocky grin before replying. 
“Right back at ya, Loverboy. I hope you’ve recovered there, because that was fun. And I might just want to get in a little more practice before I hand over the reins.” 
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