#also 1 and 2 because they're great too

[television-overload]

You know, for a while there I was convinced Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny were the absolute kings of off-camera complicated chemistry and insane press junket appearances, but I really do think Cote de Pablo and Michael Weatherly are a close second if not tied 😅

#i've forgotten about some of these clips #they're absolutely insane #'we have an announcement to make' 'i'm pregnant' #they had fun with it the whole time and that's what i love about it #very few people can play off michael weatherly and reign him in when needed but cote is a master of it #i canNOT wait to see them again #x files fans if you need another fictional couple to become obsessed with #i'm telling you please watch ncis (seasons 3-11 ish) #also 1 and 2 because they're great too #ncis #tiva #cote de pablo #michael weatherly #Youtube

[mewtwo24]

Not to be That Guy but like.

Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.

Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s

Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?

Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]

#svsss #tianxi #tianlang jun #su xiyan #like this shit keeps me awake at night #i'm trying to put fic ideas together and every time i go back to that line i just #find myself trying to parse and hone out su xiyan's mannerisms/personality #zzl's descriptions help a great deal but i also love that they're limited in the sense that #1. zzl was clearly scared shitless of/disconcerted with her LMFAO #2. he was suspicious of her (as a cultivator fundamentally) and its fascinating that TLJ did not seem to share this suspicion at all #or one could argue tlj just didn't care beyond his attraction and glee being around her jkahglfdskjhsfkhjg #there is also the hilarious implication that part of what turned tlj on so much about sx is the fact that she could prbly kill him #tlj really said 'i love a woman who can and WILL kick my ass' #'none of that soft power seduction shit manhandle me or nothing' #like he always believed deep down--or at the very least wanted to believe--that she loved both him and lbh dearly #i'm not usually the fix-it fic type but the Way I Need To See Su Xiyan Destroy Huanhua Palace Master's Entire Life. #i just want sx and her boytoy to live happily ever after is that so wrong? #i also think of that person (im so sorry tumblr user i dont rmr who u are at the minute) that said there had to be trust between tlj and sx #because YES. ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE. AND I WANT IT FOR ME #don't mind me just the usual descent into madness anytime i think too hard about svsss #i need to outline damn you airplane and your refusal to expand on LBH's juicy ass backstory #ill never forgive the chinese (joke)

[cozylittleartblog]

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ya boi made washi tapes, please consider Purchasing them. at cozylittleartshoppe on etsy. good print, good sticc, i am obsessed

#small business #washi tape #portal 2 #infinity train #the owl house #etsy #support small business #there were sticky notes! they dont stick very good. they kinda have a couple problems. im still talkin it thru with my manu as of queueing #the print is ok - the print is great actually! they just dont. stick. and that's one thing #but they leave just a liiiitttle bit of sticky residue on the Next notepad in the stack #and you can see it #and it sticks just a little bit on the front of that next note. like 1/10 sticky; MAYBE 2/10 if ur unlucky. #if you tend to washi-tape your notes up anyway it's probably fine but im not sure what i'll do with them yet #but i have Two Hundred of them so uhhhhh #i'm thinking i'll sell them at a big discount. because they're still pretty ok as memo pads! but i have to see what my manu decides to do #which is such a shame because they LOOK really really really cool!!!!!! they just dont Sticky good #but also i have people buy seconds all the time and say 'i dont even know whats wrong with this' so i wonder if #my standards are way too high and people really would be ok buying these for like 50% off or something #hrmmmm. send dms/replies/asks (anons on) if you have any opinions #im hearing from other shop owners that generally unless its officially post-it brand it doesnt stick very well #but custom print post its are very expensive OTL so i think for now i'll just make non-stick post its in the future #the washis are beautiful and perfect though. i love the washis. beautiful perfect flawless tapes. they even have stickers on the side!!

[coquelicoq]

crashes ur board meeting n drags u out by the collar but its fine bc youre the one always saying shit like "im looking for people i can use" ok lol. get used idiot

#just tracing like. the sequence of events that had to take place in order for this to come to pass #1. natori and his shiki are skulking around homura stalking ban. possibly it's just his shiki and natori is elsewhere. #either way 2. natsume shows up and natori learns about it either bc he witnesses it or a shiki comes to tell him #3. natori gets in his little richard scarry apple car (this is my mental image for some reason) & fucking. BOOKS IT to the matoba compound #4. goes inside. presumably matoba lackeys try to stop him bc their boss is in an important meeting but somehow he gets past them #(possibilities here are v fun to think about. maybe natori does this all the time and they're used to it. maybe he's never done it before #but they're all on orders to let natori in if he ever shows up. maybe natori convinces them he's supposed to be IN the meeting #which is great because it sounds like some important clan thing so what is he in the clan now??) #5. interrupts matoba's meeting like 'i need you' and matoba's like 'bye everyone whatever this is is more important' #6. they get in natori's comical apple car (again the apple car is not canon don't worry about it) #& natori drives like a bat out of hell back to homura. (SOURCE: matoba is so scarred he refuses natori's offer for a ride later) #i wonder what they talk about on the way there? because they don't talk about why natori is stalking ban until much later #so they must be busy talking about something else. but what?? #that or they're both too distracted by all the near-death experiences from natori's crazed driving lol #natsume's book of friends #natsume yuujinchou #homura cats arc #horrible exorcists #my posts #sidenote i feel like that page at the end where both matoba and sensei refuse natori's offers of a ride is really funny because #sensei's reason is that it will take too long. but sensei did you know natori drives like a speed demon? think it thru... #also like. how long did it take him to decide to involve matoba? was that his backup plan all along? #also it's pretty lucky that he found matoba at all considering he could be anywhere...the matoba have like 15 houses... #he has matoba's schedule memorized lol #natori sparkling to the assorted clan members in the meeting: sorry ladies and gentlemen i just need to borrow this~ #*throws matoba over his shoulder and fireman-carries him to the parking lot*

[moongothic]

I just

Where the fuck is the Cross Guild plotline going

Like Crocodile and Mihawk allowed Buggy to do his thing until now because getting rid of him wasn't nececary, but we've gotten to the point where Buggy has straight up riled up his men who are all behind him, not Crocodile and Mihawk, to go get One Piece, and while the two could easily wipe the floor with them, it just seems like it'd be a waste of everyone's time

I just can not imagine the two being at all willing to go along with Buggy on the quest for One Piece, not in a million years, since the other two's interests are literally the opposite, but with the way the men are riled up it's not like they'd be able to unconvince them to follow Crocodile instead

But also Buggy does have that ship ready

And didn't they imply the three remaining Seraphim have been sent to Empteebluffs???

What if the Seraphim do show up and it's up to the only two capable fighters in Cross Guild to deal with them and Buggy just flees with whatever crew he can muster while no one is looking because god knows it's his last chance???

But even if Crocodile and Mihawk abusing Buggy until he grew a spine was a required event to get Buggy to join the race for One Piece, it'd still be strange for Oda to make Cross Guild A Thing if it only gets disbanded soon after without anything else coming from it?? (Like if they get disbanded immidiately then why did they need to be established to begin with, if Crocodile and Mihawk have somewhere else to be/end up in some other situation then surely Oda could've skipped the Cross Guild-part)

So are Croco and Mihawk just going to go along with Buggy's plans because they can't be bothered to put up a fight (and if they're stuck on the ship with him and Buggy's crew it will be like two (three if you include Daz) against hundreds- again, the two could easily kill them all, but is it worth the effort???)

I just. Where the fuck is this plot thread going man

#Moon posting #OP Spoilers #Maybe I'm just saying this because I don't WANT Croco and Mihawk to join the race for One Piece??? #Like??? Between Shanks Luffy and Blackbeard I think that's enough people??? Buggy too if he skedaddles?? #I'd also suggest Law and Kid but they both got just nuked so IDK if they're even in the race anymore #I just want Croco and Mihawk to do their own different thing???????????????? #But also like. Like there's so much emotional weight between Luffy reuniting with Shanks and eventually encountering Blackbeard #Buggy reuniting with Shanks too would make for a great moment regardless of how it'd go down #And while Mihawk and Zoro seeing each other again would be great IDK if it's The Time for it #And I just. There is no reason for Crocodile to be there #Like I love my blorbo but he is a washed up loser and I don't want him to become someone Luffy needs to defeat AGAIN #Like sure becoming Pirate King was Croc's dream and him having a middle aged moment giving it one last chance could be cute #But we know he won't make it #So there's no reason on an emotional level for him to be there #Unless Crocodad Real but there's an 0.01% of that happening at this fucking point #IDK I'd just love it probably if Buggy skedaddles and if Moria is still alive and escaped Fullalead then he'd join Croc and Mihawk #Cute reunion with Perona and Mihawk and the Former Shichibukai Club would get another member #Alternatively the Seraphim kick Croc and Mihawk's asses and the two flee only to end up captured by Blackbeard or something #I do want to know if Crocodile DOES have some beef with the Revolutionary Army so that's another option too #(Since he knew Iva-chan) (And god knows if Crocodile has beef with Dragon then that could make for a good 2-for-1 flashback) #(Since we still know like fuck all about Dragon too) #I dunno man I don't want to get my hopes up lest Crocodile does want to join the race for OP #But it really is the one storydirection I don't want to see happen #But I feel like I'm jinxing it by just writing this #God the next chapter can't come fast enough #I am loving the Kuma backstory mind you #Tho at this point considdering the whole ''Xebec got betrayed by his crew'' thing I wouldn't be surprised if Crocodile was like Xebec's son #(Since he would've been like 8 at the time of the God Valley Incident) (Like if he was there on Xebec's ship he'd know what happened etc) #(Also would add to his grudge against Whitebeard) (Also Xebec wanted to be King of the World so. Like father like son) #And if Xebec is alive like some people are speculating (and is the one with the final Poneglyph) that would actually tie Croc into this mes

[variousqueerthings]

I’m reading Persistance: All Ways Butch And Femme and lemme tell you it’s doing wonders for everything -- feelings about gender, politics, language, relationships 

every time I think I’ve come at some unknowable concept about myself that nobody could possibly understand and I’m totally alone (or at the very least I’m something new and fragile), reading about other queers makes me understand that actually it’s existed possibly forever and I can calm tf down and stop being so angsty, it’s not fragile at all, it’s years of others living these things into reality!

anyway, us lonelies under 30 (and over 30 too quite probably) who think we’ve reinvented the wheel and nobody could possibly get it, we need to read this sort of stuff to get out of our own heads and to respect where we came from and maybe all the fucking discourse can chill out and we won’t be so afraid of changes and concepts that already exist and have done for a lot of years!

#persistance: all ways butch and femme #queer stuff #queer theory #queer lit #lesbian lit #me like: im overcomplicating it ive gone too far im a fraud #a dyke who came of-age in the 60s: anyway these fag genderqueers i met in the 90s love em couldnt do without em great stuff #also rae spoon i owe you everything #and this discussion i just read in it i need to get their names #about femme through the eyes of masculinity STOP IVE BEEN FEELING THAT WAY (dont stop ofc) #and the new spectrum bit???? wtfwtfwtf i feel like im being inundated with The Lore and im some starry eyed apprentice #whenever i forget i can be like -- is my icon a claude cahun homage for NOTHING?! #it's about context building! it's about history! it's about thinking those threads were spindly but they're strong as anchors or smthin #fuckit im just amazed i cannot properly articulate how amazed i am #ALSO look im not a lesbian/i never came to transness through lesbianism like a lot of my peers (only briefly and it amounted to one bar) #my point being that if you think you can't relate to that title because you think you didn't get to experience that lens #1. read the lesbians generally because they're good for you #2. trust me this book opens some fucking doors (doors I'd been worried were me going too far/werent allowed) #recommend this to all the queers and non-queers alike boys and girls and people who think they're unfathomable #you will be uh... fathomed... as it were #(or not but it's still vital)

[singsweetmelodies]

Oh my God, I love that kiss fic already and now it's even harder to wait for the new chapter(s). I loooove that you love what you're writing, that's so important!!!!! Sending love your wayyyyy (and obvs don't feel pressured, pls) <33333

awwwww! anon, this is so sweet <3333 and i couldn't agree more!! it really is SO important to love what you're writing, because nothing burns you out faster than when you're not getting joy from writing, you know? thankfully, nothing gives me quite as much joy as these two french & french-adjacent fucks doing the nasty 🤭 what that says about ME and about my sanity, i have no idea, but at least it's fabulous for the writing 🤣❤️

#asks & answers #anon #lovely anons #i did see this at midnight last night but was too sleepy to do much more than a vague <333 in my head #but it's made me smile double now this morning!! #you are SUCH a sweetheart; anon; and i appreciate the support so much <3333 #also! just a little kiss fic progrees update since you DID say you're waiting excitedly for the next chapter #i had great intentions of posting another chapter this weekend; but 2 things happened: #1) SO MUCH PIARLES CONTENT. oh my GOD. i was literally spending HOURS just rewatching and reblogging with the biggest heart eyes ever #2) i had an unexpectedly full weekend of early birthday celebrations #and it's not that i FORGOT about my birthday....... #but it didn't occur to me to think that all my family and friends would want to see me THIS much over the weekend 🤣😅 #i think they're making up for last year when i was in a whole other country for my bday #but anyways! YEAHHHH; writing time was much less than i'd hoped over the weekend #so there won't be a new chapter *soon* #because unfortunately (or actually FORTUNATELY! just unfortunately for the waiting period) the spa chapter is a long one #i mean; it'd have to be. SO MUCH happened that weekend #and i need to do it all justice; y'know? #but it's definitely coming; that's for sure #and i hope you'll love it just as much as i do when it's ready ❤️💙❤️💙

[the-fire-might-be-shooting-at-us]

I don't get what's so hard to understand about "Don't talk about Nancy or Steve or NancySteve you don't have the proper clearance" like how many times must I say it!!!

#I am so sick of these bad takes #why do you have to hate on one to justify loving the other??? #They're both great!!! #Season 4 did Steve so dirty I know you guys think we Steve fans were being serviced NO #NO WE WERE NOT #If I hear one more mention of the Chicken Nuggets I am going to KMS #Like yes it's ugh #but also like it's not as simple or one dimensional of a story as you guys think #but also it's soooo stupid #and I think that Steve really did let go of Nancy back in season 2 #that was supposed to be it #like there was no hint of steve getting back with nancy or anything it was final the shooting the acting the script #everything sounded like it was closing the doors on that arc #and haters are saying that they brought Stancy back because they had nothing interesting going on with Steve's character #??? #ARE YOU GOOD #How about deal with how he avoids all his trauma or how he got TORTURED??? #You can go on more about his life in highschool post season 1 and season 2 #yes Steve did become more popular over the years but that's for a reason #and fucking steve fans I have so much to say to you too #STFU #Like stop hating on other characters or bringing in steve everywhere bro stfu #like idk my community of steve fans are chill and hot and have the best takes but some of the ones I've seen #like get a hold of yourselves #I have nothing to say to Nancy haters they're just ugly #Sorry guys I was feeling hateful #Will probably post a screenshot of all this bc these tags are salacious #rem does stuff and panics #stranger things #steve harrington

[holyviolence]

having the most irritating day at work 😊👍

#accidentally stabbed a pin about an inch into my hand!!!! #my boss is annoying as always. blaming us for things that are just not our fault!! #we were double booked back to back for 5 hours straight! im literally only on my lunch break right now because my customer got finished so #fast. otherwise i wouldn't have had time to eat until 1 hour before i have to clock out #and customers are being so annoying today??? this woman was crying because her dress had WRINKLES. ???????? #also my friend is not going to see this so im gonna keep ranting. #she's fed up with working here which i totally get and she interviewed for someplace else and will most likely leave in a couple weeks #which is fine and great because i support her and it is awful working here!!!! #THE THING IS. the only employees in alterations currently are Me and Her and one woman who only comes on Fridays.... #so if my friend (who is the alterations manager too btw) leaves then it's just ME for the entire week. every day. taking appointments and #sewing dress alterations and repairs. and they're not going to give me enough hours to do all that work because im not full time #they're not gonna offer me the full time position i know it. and i wouldn't take it even if they did because i see how they treat my friend #i want to quit too but im not going to just leave them with NO ONE to do alterations. i can't do that to all the customers who already paid #i just don't get why they won't hire anyone else. when i started here there were 4 people working. 2 of them quit at the same time a week #after i started. obviously it sucks here if no one sticks around #we had people interview for these open positions but they didn't get hired!!! #im literally going to lose my mind and cry. this sucks. #it sucks so bad i don't even want to do this as a job anymore. im tired of sewing 😭😭😭 #for other ppl at least. im still making clothes for myself. #(like two days ago one of the new stylists took it upon herself to clean a dress when that is NOT HER JOB!!!! she should not be spraying #chemicals on expensive dresses if she's never done it before!!!!! and also she got our ironing board dirty. and my friend complained to our #boss and our boss was like. at least she showed initiative. you can't get mad for that. #GIRL??? do you hate us. do youHATE us. you stick up for literally everyone else but us. #she acts like im stupid too. i was pressing a seam open and she told me how to use the steam button. I KNOWWW I HAVE USED IRONS BEFORE!! and #i don't need steam for this seam rn 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #fr im so done with this place but im too sympathetic to just quit. in the busy season.

[theoryofrefraction]

I've also been playing p06. I've never played the original so idk how it compares, but it's a good game in it's own right, and I feel like it's giving me a good picture of what sonic games can be.

#especially compared to the old game that is adventure oof #like there's still issues but it overall plays really solidly and I've been having fun with it #you can see the bones of the adventure games in it too! #like the spin dash noise is the same and it's mapped to the same button #and the homing attack is also a sort of double jump here and you can still homing attack springs #but it's also got so much more development than that #like everybody have more moves and the level design is just straight up better #like #apologies to adventure fans #but yesterday I got stuck on sky deck for maybe multiple hours because I couldn't figure out to progress #go the fourth pillar. there's a rocket there. #there was not a rocket there #I had to go to the fourth pillar and then take a left back towards the start of the level #and then left again to where the rocket was #this did not happen in project 06 #like I did get lost for a bit in the shadow level where you have to turn off the searchlights but I never got LOST lost #also I just feel like it controls better and that p06 is living up to it's name of being a good remake #excited to try out adventure 2 though! #I hear it's fairly different from 1 and also better storywise at least #and I want to see shadow and rogue and omega's debut because they're all great #all me

[insertdisc5]

📚 A List Of Useful Websites When Making An RPG 📚

My timeloop RPG In Stars and Time is done! Which means I can clear all my ISAT gamedev related bookmarks. But I figured I would show them here, in case they can be useful to someone. These range from "useful to write a story/characters/world" to "these are SUPER rpgmaker focused and will help with the terrible math that comes with making a game".

This is what I used to make my RPG game, but it could be useful for writers, game devs of all genres, DMs, artists, what have you. YIPPEE

Writing (Names)

Behind The Name - Why don't you have this bookmarked already. Search for names and their meanings from all over the world!

Medieval Names Archive - Medieval names. Useful. For ME

City and Town Name Generator - Create "fake" names for cities, generated from datasets from any country you desire! I used those for the couple city names in ISAT. I say "fake" in quotes because some of them do end up being actual city names, especially for french generated ones. Don't forget to double check you're not 1. just taking a real city name or 2. using a word that's like, Very Bad, especially if you don't know the country you're taking inspiration from! Don't want to end up with Poopaville, USA

Writing (Words)

Onym - A website full of websites that are full of words. And by that I mean dictionaries, thesauruses, translators, glossaries, ways to mix up words, and way more. HIGHLY recommend checking this website out!!!

Moby Thesaurus - My thesaurus of choice!

Rhyme Zone - Find words that rhyme with others. Perfect for poets, lyricists, punmasters.

In Different Languages - Search for a word, have it translated in MANY different languages in one page.

ASSETS

In general, I will say: just look up what you want on itch.io. There are SO MANY assets for you to buy on itch.io. You want a font? You want a background? You want a sound effect? You want a plugin? A pixel base? An attack animation? A cool UI?!?!?! JUST GO ON ITCH.IO!!!!!!

Visual Assets (General)

Creative Market - Shop for all kinds of assets, from fonts to mockups to templates to brushes to WHATEVER YOU WANT

Velvetyne - Cool and weird fonts

Chevy Ray's Pixel Fonts - They're good fonts.

Contrast Checker - Stop making your text white when your background is lime green no one can read that shit babe!!!!!!

Visual Assets (Game Focused)

Interface In Game - Screenshots of UI (User Interfaces) from SO MANY GAMES. Shows you everything and you can just look at what every single menu in a game looks like. You can also sort them by game genre! GREAT reference!

Game UI Database - Same as above!

Sound Assets

Zapsplat, Freesound - There are many sound effect websites out there but those are the ones I saved. Royalty free!

Shapeforms - Paid packs for music and sounds and stuff.

Other

CloudConvert - Convert files into other files. MAKE THAT .AVI A .MOV

EZGifs - Make those gifs bigger. Smaller. Optimize them. Take a video and make it a gif. The Sky Is The Limit

Marketing

Press Kitty - Did not end up needing this- this will help with creating a press kit! Useful for ANY indie dev. Yes, even if you're making a tiny game, you should have a press kit. You never know!!!

presskit() - Same as above, but a different one.

Itch.io Page Image Guide and Templates - Make your project pages on itch.io look nice.

MOOMANiBE's IGF post - If you're making indie games, you might wanna try and submit your game to the Independent Game Festival at some point. Here are some tips on how, and why you should.

Game Design (General)

An insightful thread where game developers discuss hidden mechanics designed to make games feel more interesting - Title says it all. Check those comments too.

Game Design (RPGs)

Yanfly "Let's Make a Game" Comics - INCREDIBLY useful tips on how to make RPGs, going from dungeons to towns to enemy stats!!!!

Attack Patterns - A nice post on enemy attack patterns, and what attacks you should give your enemies to make them challenging (but not TOO challenging!) A very good starting point.

How To Balance An RPG - Twitter thread on how to balance player stats VS enemy stats.

Nobody Cares About It But It’s The Only Thing That Matters: Pacing And Level Design In JRPGs - a Good Post.

Game Design (Visual Novels)

Feniks Renpy Tutorials - They're good tutorials.

I played over 100 visual novels in one month and here’s my advice to devs. - General VN advice. Also highly recommend this whole blog for help on marketing your games.

I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye

#reference #tutorial #writing #rpgmaker #renpy #video games #game design #i had this in my drafts for a while so you get it now. sorry its so long #long post

[harmoonix]

❝𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐥 - 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠❞

Asteroid Psyche Observations

~𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓬𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓲𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭~

Psyche Asteroid Code: 16

💜 - Asteroid Psyche (16) harmoniously aspecting Venus makes your soul to crave for love/romantism, sometimes to be an hopeless romantic and to make you crush over people

💜 - Psyche harshly aspecting Venus makes it hard to give up on love and on loved ones, it can be hard for you to let the ones you love to go, because you tend to attach yourself hard on people

💜 - Psyche in Scorpio/8th house natives are really intense and surrounded in a mesmerizing aura, they're also very loyal to those they love and feels like their soul is a magnetic field

💜 - Asteroid Psyche in Venusian Degrees (2°, 7°, 14°, 19°, 26°), makes your soul to be feminine or at least to have feminine energy in it

💜 - Psyche aspecting Mars, there can be a conflict between your soul and your mind, sometimes you tend to be too dominant over the things in your life and you forget to focus on things that give you happiness and satisfaction

💜 - Psyche at 1°, 13° or 25° degrees are giving spiritual leaders vibes, they're usually the type of people who lead others to make good decisions and they're also protecting of them

💜 - Psyche in the 7th house/Libra can attract partners who have a really great bounding, these natives can be very attached to their partners and so so adorable when they get into a relationship

💜 - Psyche in 4th house has a very peaceful home, their home brings them peace and their family has a strong bounding between eachother

💜 - Psyche aspecting Mercury can be the type of person who will always want to communicate their feelings and their emotions, they can be very curious of everything

💜 - Psyche in the 11th house/Aquarius usually has a very special connection with their partners and all of their relationships seem good

💜 - Psyche in Pisces or Psyche in the 12th house, here is a prominent and powerful place for Psyche to be in because she's connected to your soul/past/karma/subconscious to give you an example is like Psyche lies in your soul

💜 - Psyche square or opposition with Mars can indicate a fight with the inner spirit, usually they are very fierce souls and very ambitious

💜 - Psyche in contact with Uranus has a very intelligent and strategic mind. What's admirable about them is that they can make a balance between their heart and brain

💜 - If Psyche sits empty in a chart that placement can indicate the native needs to be more aware of their spiritual side and awakening stage

💜 - If Psyche is aspecting the asteroid Eros (433) their love is so unique/soul loving/romantic and sensual and they're very attractive people

💜 - If Psyche aspects Neptune she can gain a lot of intuition by letting themselves to be spiritual. Also religious if is the case but you also have a strong belief system with this placement

💜 - Psyche aspecting Juno (3) can have a spiritual bounding/connection something is so mesmerizing about them and so magical

💜 - Psyche in the 2nd house/Psyche in Taurus The native can have a sensible body and they look ethereal at the first sight (Depends on the 2nd house sign), they're full of grace and so gentle & loving

💜 - Psyche aspecting the ascendant (all aspects) have such beautiful eyes. Their eyes are majestic i feel like you fell in love with their eyes first

💜 - Psyche in Leo/ in the 5th house really give royal/princess vibes. Is like their taken out of a fairytale and they usually have a big pride about themselves

💜 - Psyche at 10° 22° degrees have a growing beauty, like their beauty is evolving with the time and is in a good way

💜 - Psyche at 9° 21° degrees or Psyche in the 9th house are free spirits, also Psyche in Sagittarius They're usually very stubborn when it comes to rules and like doing things in their own ways, for example like Peter Pan or Tinkerbell (and they can't stay in one place, always moving)

💜 - Psyche in Virgo/ in the 6th house have a healing inner power. They really know how to heal themselves when they're at the lowest/hurt and they're also very supportive

💜 - Psyche in Aries/in the 1st house have a very sensitive soul I think based on my opinions these natives have their first reincarnation like they feel like newborn souls and everything feels so exciting and new for them

💜 - Psyche in Capricorn/in the 10th house, I love these people because they know their worth. They know how to value themselves and how to be worth it, they're also hardworking and soul evolving in the same time

💜 - Psyche aspecting Pluto, yeah they really evolve, every experience is felt with intensity so their soul acknowledge this and evolves together with the native. Also wow they're very intimidating

💜 - Psyche in Cancer or at Cancer Degrees 4°, 16°, 28° have a very welcoming energy, their souls are literally so kind and so sensitive and so helping wow it feels like they're some adorable kid you see on the street, they're also very generous with people

💜 - Psyche aspecting Jupiter has a spiritual teacher kind of vibe, maybe even if occult if they're interested, they are very spiritual and know a lot of things that's why they're also called wise for their age and they can have love or desire for travelling to ethereal places like idk some really beautiful looking beach or place/mountains/forests/jungle etc

💜 - Psyche in Gemini/or in the 3rd house, okay so here we have a multi-mind working soul, they are always thinking at more things at once, they're usually the people who bound really easily with others and their voice might also be pretty and unique

💜 - Psyche aspecting the Moon, now those natives are full of aware of their intuition of their spirituality of their spiritual path, they're also very beautiful inside and out and know how to impress other people

💜 - Psyche aspecting the Chiron (all aspects) have a hurt/wounded/ soul in pain like they really need to get out of the norms and their schedule and heal their soul because I feel is from their past lives in most cases maybe some of them didn't had the chance to heal it (in a past life) so is your moment now!!💜💜

💜 - Psyche aspecting the Sun (all aspects) natives that magical and ethereal aura outside and inside them, they're have a lovely personality and always make sure to give it or share it with others (they're also kind)

💜 - Psyche at 11° or 23° degrees are usually having a different approaching style and something unique in them

💜 - Psyche at 0° degrees really gives newborn soul, I just know Psyche is in the most ethereal, magical, stage with this degree on it and it feels like the magician from the tarot card

💜 - Psyche in contact with Midheaven can have some sort of career or job involving spirituality/therapy/psychology/healing teacher/tarot reader/crafting etc ..

💜 - Psyche aspecting the south node is probably a very powerful placement to have in contact with Psyche because it tells about your past and how your soul/power source managed to work in a past life is like you're looking for your souls past lives and deja - cu moments might be a lot in your life

💜 - Psyche aspecting the asteroid Vesta or having those astroids in the same house makes you to be so devoted/loyal/kind/and it indicates that everything you do/touch/feel/see is unique and special for you

💜 - Psyche in the 6th house or at 6° 18° degrees can also have a very cute/special connection with animals like I adore these natives so much for their love for animals

💜 - Psyche aspecting Saturn (all aspects) sometimes they feel like they restrict themselves from things they love, they're very serious in their work and about their life. They have a mature or an old soul kind of vibe but they're so powerful after they heal the pain

💜 - Psyche aspecting Lilith (h12) are those magnetic, intense fierce natives, very seductive energy in here is like their soul is made up with fire

✨ ⚡⚡⚡We closed the January chapter: January for 2024: 🔒 ⚡⚡⚡✨

❤️With the 1st February coming I wanted to make a special post and that is asteroid Psyche which is a very beautiful and deeply connected asteroid, noted as the asteroid of soul ❤️

❤️ I'm so excited to share this post with you and I hope you'll enjoy as much as I did ❤️

#astrology #astro observations #birth chart #astro notes #astrology observations #placements #astro community #horoscope #ascendant #Psyche #asteroid #asteroid psyche #asteroid observation #asteroids observations #astro.com #astro seek #asteroids #asteroid observations #asteroid psyche 16

[alesbianperson]

football player!ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: At the football play you visited to support your best friend, something happens that you didn't expect.

warnings: smoking (weed); slightly implied loser Ellie at the end; swear words; girls kissing (what a surprise); my writing idk

authors note: so firstly I mean football as soccer and not american football, but its not important to the plot so it can be interpreted as either; secondly, sorry for being so inactive I actually needed fucking half a year just for this its actually embarressing, I'm really slow at writing I don't know why, but I'm trying to be more active. I also didnt proofread so sorry for grammar mistakes or something anyway I hope you enjoy this!!

ALSO BIG DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT SUPPORT NEIL DRUCKMANN AND THE FACT THAT HE SUPPORTS ISRAEL!! If you don't know whats going on in Palestine, please go educate yourself because its highly important.

Here are a few links, so nobody can say it's too complicated or annoying to search for information (besides its really fucking heartless, cruel and totally not human to say "I dont wanna put effort in researching" while people are literally suffering and dying because of a genocide):

General information/updates

Brands to boycott

How you can help Palestine

Palestine masterposts: 1 2

--☆--

This evening was the final football game of the season. Everyone was so excited, and your best friend played in the school team, so of course, you came to this game to support her. You already arrived a bit late because you took a nap and didn't hear the alarm, so you quickly searched for your friends who were already sat and luckily saved you a seat. When they saw you coming in, they waved you over to them.

"What took you so long? The game has already started!" One of them said before switching their attention back to the field. "Sorry, I overslept." You explained yourself sitting down on your seat. "You didn't miss much, just a foul from the other team. They're so annoying and clearly playing anything but fair." Another one of your friends said, rolling her eyes while offering you a bag of chips. You declined and began searching for your best friend between all the other players, running on the field. Not even five seconds later, you found her. With the ball in front of her, she ran towards the goal. You joined the cheers of everyone from your school, sure that this was going to be such a great goal until:

A girl from the other team came out of nowhere, running towards her, tackling her to the ground. You gasped. "That was another foul!" One of your friends exclaimed, standing up to better see what the referee would say. But instead of also looking at the referee, your gaze still hasn't left the girl, responsible for the foul.

She looked pleased with herself. What an asshole! You thought to yourself, but couldn't deny that the way her eyes sparkled in the light and her auburn hair moved in the wind was mesmerising. Too distracted by her features, you realised a bit late that she was eyeing you too. A smirk on her lips, she winked at you before walking off the field, your eyes still on her.

"Too bad that bitch just got a yellow card. She deserved more, right?" Your friends, already discussing the decision of the referee, were turning to you since you were the only one who didn't comment on it. Heat rushed into your cheeks as you realised you hadn't listened the whole time, busy gushing over that girl. "Yeah.. definitely more." Was all you said to not keep the attention on you.

"Guys," you added after a short pause, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick. I'll be back."

"Sure."

"But hurry, they're already playing again."

You just slightly nodded before walking off to search for the bathrooms. To your luck, they weren't far away from your seats, so it didn't take too long to find them. As you closed the door behind you, a strong smell of weed filled your lungs. Holding a hand in front of your mouth, you coughed reflexively.

"Having trouble breathin', princess?"

You turned around to see the girl who fouled your best friend sitting on the sink, her legs slightly swinging forwards and back. She still wore her tricot but now had a grey, dirty, worn-out jacket over it. The half up half down bun she had was messed up, probably because of the constant running on the field, and between two of her fingers, she held an already half smoked joint.

Her smile rose as she noticed your gaze lingering on her again. "Y'want a photo? It'll last longer." She chuckled, finding this old ass joke very funny. You rolled your eyes at her words but couldn't help the smile, forming on your lips. "What are you doing here anyway, don't you have to play?" She blew out the smoke she held in her mouth before answering your question. "My coach replaced me. Said I needed a break before playing again." You just nodded because you didn't know how to keep the conversation going. For a few seconds, you both just looked at each other in silence. After taking another drag from the joint, she leaned forward, offering you to do the same.

"No, thanks. I don't smoke."

"Thought so." She chuckled. After a short pause, she added: "Not in a rude way, of course. Y'just don't look like you'd do drugs." Even though you knew it was childish and totally stupid, you now wanted to prove to her that you were indeed someone who could take drugs. So you took the joint out of her hand, carefully brought it to your lips, and inhaled.

You probably shouldn't have inhaled this deep because now you were coughing like someone poured tons of sand down your throat. It surely felt like it. When you calmed down a bit, you looked up again, handing the joint back to the girl on the sink, who was clearly amused. "What a brave girl." She said with a shit eating grin on her face. "Come here, I'll show you how it's done right."

She gestured between her spread legs. As you moved towards her, she leaned in, reducing the space between the two of you. "Open your mouth." She then proceeded to take a drag from the joint. As she moved closer, your breath hitched. Your eyes wandered from her gorgeous green ones down to her lips, and heat rose in your cheeks again. Without breaking eye contact, she blew the smoke she had in her mouth into yours. Reflexively, you closed it.

"Now hold it in."

And that's what you did. The smoke filled your lungs, this time a lot less painful than your first drag. After a few seconds, you exhaled slowly, a small smile of pride on your face.

Your faces were still very close, and silence fell upon the both of you again. The tension thickend. Her emerald green eyes stared directly into yours, abruptly blinking down to your lips. "Can I kiss you?" Your voice was nothing more than a whisper, fading into thin air. A smirk grew once again on her lips before nodding and then proceeding to lean in and closing the gap between the two of you.

Once her lips were on yours, she cupped your cheek, her fingertips brushing slightly over it. You felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest. Her lips were so soft. You couldn't really describe the feeling, but it felt good. Like you were on cloud nine. You quickly synced with the rhythm she set, leaning forward so that her back met the wall behind her.

Your hands wandered behind her neck, beginning to tug on her hair slightly. A soft groan escaped her lips at the sudden impact, which sounded like music to your ears.

A smile formed on your lips once she broke the kiss to catch her breath. "What're you smiling at?" She looked at you irritated, which just caused you to chuckle.

"I don't know. You're.. pretty."

Silence followed after that.

"Pretty enough to get your number?"

Ellie wanted to bash her head against the wall at her cringe comment. She thought she'd definitely crossed the line now. But you just began laughing, quickly covering your mouth with your hand to muffle the sound.

"Sorry. Don't get me wrong I-", you interrupted yourself by holding up your finger to signal her to wait and began searching for your phone in your purse. Fuck. You thought as you realised you left it in your jacket with your friends and hurriedly searched around for something to write on. Ellie just watched you amused, catching on to your plan. She snatched a pepertowel out of the spender and offered it to you. You just gave her an awkward smile, fishing a half empty kajal out of your purse and scribbled your phone number on it.

As you handed it to her, she took it with the same smirk she had in the beginning. "As sad as it is, I think I have to go back on the field. My coach probably misses me by now." She added hesitantly while sliding off the sink and walking towards the door. "Cool meeting you, though." The click of the closing door was the last thing you heard before you were completely alone in the bathroom.

With the paper towel still in her hand, Ellie made her way over to the rest of her team, almost jumping with joy and thanking every mighty power for letting her survive the whole conversation without completely losing her mind or embarrassing herself. She'd definitely save your number as soon as she could. Actually contacting you was a whole other story.

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x f!reader #the last of us #the last of us 2 #tlou x reader #wlw #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #football player!ellie williams #ellie the last of us #sapphic #tlou ellie

[midnightwriter21]

Hello :) please could I request headcanons of the hashira having a crush on a hashira!reader who’s very motherly to the younger demon slayers but shy and secretly craving affection from the other hashira 💙💙

demon slayer hcs: motherly hashira!reader x the hashira pt 1

characters: fem!reader x giyuu, rengoku, tengen, shinobu, kamaboko squad (mentioned)

AN: some of these are platonic instead of romantic.

pt. 2 with mitsuri, obanai, sanemi, and muichiro is HERE

stop because i love this

you don't talk to the other hashira much

but its not because you don't like them!

they're just a little intimidating

and you want them to like you so bad

but what if you accidentally embarrass yourself in front of them

would be my biggest fear tbh

GIYUU

this guy is just as shy as you are

awkward asf too

but seeing as you're one of the few hashira that are kind to him..

he really likes you

also really appreciates the way you take care of the younger slayers

especially the Kamado siblings

i mean he did literally put his life on the line for those two

you guys don't talk much when in each others company

really its more of a dead silence lmao

like thats a surprise at all lol

but he enjoys being in your presence

he thinks you have a very calming aura around you

and he never feels any hostility from you

if you guys are paired up on a mission?

my guy is glued to u

no way is a demon going to hurt someone as pure and kindhearted as u

not on giyuu's watch

even tho he's goin to be protective of u during missions

he knows that despite your sweet nature, ur a hell of a fighter

respects you sm

thinks of you as his only true friend within the corps

RENGOKU

i can never get enough of him i swear

he absolutely adores you

goes out of his way to talk to you every chance he gets

ur all the way on the other side of the butterfly estate?

sunshine boy is hunting you down

ur on a mission a few miles away from his estate?

he's alrdy otw

also very oblivious

you get shy when he starts talking to you

maybe you start blushing

"oh are you sick? your face is all red. i hope you don't have a fever..."

and hes putting his hand on ur forehead to check ur temperature

if he touched me id faint

admires how you genuinely care for the younger slayers

the way you encourage them to get stronger

the way you help them train

the way you make sure they're eating and drinking enough

you remind him of his mother

TENGEN

when him & his wives finally have children..

ur designated babysitter 100%

being the sound hashira he has a great sense of hearing

so he hears your interactions with the younger slayers

you're not afraid to talk to the kids

you comfort them. laugh with them, scold them, etc.

wonders why you act so differently in the presence of the hashira

makes it his mission to make you comfortable around him

u don't have to worry abt affection when tengen is concerned lol

compliments you 24/7

"you look very flashy today!"

"you are a great teacher!"

"You should become my 4th wife!"

no bc that lmfao ^

SHINOBU

you two are very familiar with each other

it's very often that you're dragging inosuke or genya by the ear to the infirmary to be treated

mostly inosuke

so she is well aware of how motherly u can be

she's a regular witness to the many scoldings given out to the younger slayers

you also asked her to train you in basic first aid

your red face and stuttered words were so cute she acted like she couldn't understand you

just so you would repeat it

loves to tease you

nothing too bad!

and never mean!

just thinks you're so adorable

really appreciates when shes sent on missions and you help out in the infirmary

wants to be better friends with you

#demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #giyuu tomioka #giyuu #demon slayer headcanons #rengoku kyojuro #rengoku #kyojuro rengoku #tengen uzui #tengen #shinobu kocho #shinobu #hashira x reader #hashira #giyuu x reader #giyuu tomioka x reader #rengoku x reader #rengoku kyojuro x reader #tengen x reader #shinobu x reader #anime #inosuke #genya shinazugawa #genya #inosuke hashibira #kamaboko squad #demon slayer fluff #tanjiro kamado

[oatflatwhite]

the inherent homoeroticism of war media: a completely unserious presentation by me

[note: some slides have been removed because they're literally just fancams and also i had more than 30 slides boo tumblr image limits]

BIBLIOGRAPHY (just going in order of slides)

and your knees are driving me wild - mash s02e08

george mackay has found his niche in homoerotic war movies

war stories are inherently homoerotic. that's how we got stucky

hangman you look good - top gun: maverick (gif by babyrooster)

letter of recommendation: watching masters of the air secondhand

it's not just sports - masters of the air e02

1 being not gay at all, 10 being liberace in an f-16

we'll go to chicago - band of brothers e01 (gif by @fkmylif3)

it is the law that every piece of war media

kim is a homoseggsual - kath & kim s01e02

Untitled (You Construct Intricate Rituals) - Barbara Kruger

The Secret History of Australia's Gay Diggers - Ben Winsor (+ Paul Fussell quoted within)

Sexuality, Sexual Relations and Homosexuality - Jason Crouthamel

Soldiers bathing in Malaya - AWM

Private Frank Crocker letters featured in Sebastian Faulks and Hope Wolf, A Broken World: Letters, Diaries and Memories of the Great War (2014), pp. 75-78.

mike's mic screencap my beloved <3

winnix gifs by @bandofbrothers2001 @preacherboyd @galebucky

winnix art by @andromeddog

winnix art by @onefineginger

In storms and at sunset by jouissant

winnix memes/text posts: 1 (@bleedingcoffee42) 2 (@krakerjaksstuff) 3 (@claudycod) 4 (@lewis-winters) 5 (@mon-mothmas-collar)

man is a hopeless creature i don't like much of anyone (@sluttyhenley)

You Create Intricate Rituals: The Homoerotic Action Movie - Rebecca Radillo (Lyvie Scott featured)

val kilmer icemav warrior compliation by @mavernick2

t as in top gun: maverick (@misaothewitch)

which is gayer (@holypowell)

we're fools to make war by whimsicule

all my roads lead back to you by liadan14

m*a*s*h video by @amrv-5 (+ reblog tags)

clegan/buck(y) gifs by @4o4notf0und @rcbertleckie

clegan fanart by @ifapromise <3

clegan memes: 1 (@rcbertleckie) 2 (@season-two) 3 (@ww2yaoi) 4 & 5

bomber's moon by moonrocks

**i tried to tag/link everything, if anything is broken or unsourced please let me know and i will endeavour to fix it! standard disclaimer that a) any discussion about war media based on real life people is based upon the fictional portrayals of those people and not the actual dudes. and b) this powerpoint was made for fun, it is not rigorous academic analysis. all opinions expressed are my own. please do not take it too seriously! that's all <3

#hbo war #hbowaredit #band of brothers #bobedit #masters of the air #mota #motaedit #top gun #top gun maverick #mash #m*a*s*h #clegan #winnix #hangster #icemav #liz makes things #web weaving #maybe?? idk! #GOD OK BE FREE GO INTO THE WORLD <3 #edit i have since seen like 10 mash episodes but i'm not redoing this. #edit edit i just realised i have a citation for a mikes mic screencap that is not here bc its on a deleted slide oopsie

[elodieunderglass]

the first chapter of Moby Dick rewritten in tiresome modern idiom

CHAPTER 1. Loomings.

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - it's none of your business how many - being mostly broke, and bored with the land part of the world, I thought I would sail around a little and look at the watery part of the world. I'm probably the most mentally healthy person you know. Whenever I feel my face getting grim; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself accidentally reading the ads in the window of funeral homes, and following funeral processions through traffic; and especially when I'm hangry, and only my extremely strong moral principles stop me from deliberately going out in public and methodically slapping people's earbuds out - then I know it's high time to get to sea, ASAP. This is my substitute for getting in fights. I'm too mentally healthy to kill myself; I quietly and considerately put myself on a ship and sail myself away instead. There is nothing surprising in this. Everyone feels exactly the same way, and if they don't, they're lying.

You think I'm lying? Exhibit A: a city. Go to your local coastal city. Everyone is looking at the water. They drive over from other neighborhoods just to come to the water. They make a day of it. They're not doing anything, they're just staring at the ocean. Why? Is it because they all work office jobs? No! Here come more of them! They cram themselves up to the edge of the water and stare at it. WHAT DO THEY WANT? WHAT ARE THEY LOOKING AT. Perhaps the ships themselves all packed together, each one with several compasses on it, creates some kind of critical mass - all of the small compass-magnets on all the ships in the harbor combining into one really big magnetic field - and the people get sucked into the field and trapped there. That's science.

Exhibit 2: the countryside with lakes in it. Every path you follow in the countryside brings you to some water, such as a stream. There is magic in it. If you take your standard fool with ADHD dissociating in the middle of a supermarket and put them outside and give them a shove, they'll automatically lead you to water (if there is any nearby) (try it). Another good experiment to try is to get lost in the great American desert in a caravan supplied with a metaphysical professor! Try it in the great American desert at home!

Yes, as everyone knows, meditation and water are a match made in heaven. Married forever. That's science.

Here's an artist who wants to paint you the dreamiest, most enchanting landscape. What does he put in it? Trees, meadow, cows, a cottage with smoke coming from the chimney, obviously. He will probably put a path in it and make lots of triangular mountains in rows and have them be different shades of blue (naturally.) But there's gotta be a stream in it. Go visit the prairies in June, and wade for forty miles through knee-deep through tiger lilies. What's missing from this picture? Water!

If Niagara Falls was made of sand instead of water, would you travel your thousand miles to see it? Why would a guy given a handful of cash have trouble deciding whether to buy a coat (which he needed) or go to the beach? Why are all the best, healthiest, sexiest and most mentally healthy people obsessed with the sea? (You get me.) When you were first on a boat, did you not succumb to VIBES? Consider ancient Persia. Consider ancient Greece. They understood about vibes, and also gods.

SURELY ALL OF THIS IS NOT WITHOUT MEANING.

And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all! You get me! You understand it now.

Now, when I say that I am in the habit of going to sea whenever I get weird, don't you dare imply that I buy a ticket and get on a boat. I have never had money in my life. How dare you. Anyway I don't go as a passenger - that's bougie, and something boring people do. Passengers never have a good time. And although my C.V. is incredible - I go to sea SO MUCH, you guys, I have lots of experience - I don't go as a boss, or a cook. That sounds like far too much work. Hard work. Disgusting, respectable, bougie, and far too responsible. I can literally only look after myself. Do not ask me to look after ships or shit. In fact, I have only a vague idea of what a ship is. There's so many different kinds of ships - don't get me started and DO NOT GET INVOLVED. Also, I'm allergic to glory.

It's kind of attractive to go as a cook. I mean, I'm allergic to glory and there's some glory attached to the position of the ship's cook, but, like, you're not management-track and so it's still credible. But I don't really want to cook (say) roast chicken. I really fucking love to eat roast chicken. I'm one of the best at doing it actually. I really appreciate when people go out of their way to butter, season, baste and roast a chicken for me. Picture a roast chicken and I am Looking Respectfully at it. Maybe something more, maybe I'm worshipping it. Don't make this weird. If you want to get weird about my relationship with roasted chicken, why aren't you getting weird about the ancient Egyptians? They ate roasted hippos (look it up) and the pyramids were basically pizza ovens. So it's pretty hypocritical to think that I'm being weird about roasted chicken when I've never made mummies out of chickens or built a religious pizza oven dedicated to honoring them: check and mate, haters.

Anyway - I like to go to sea as a manual laborer. A simple sailor. Salt of the earth… er… sea. Yeah, true: as a job it sucks. They make you jump around, order you around, treat you like shit. They expect you to jump around the boat like a grasshopper. And yes, at first, this sucks. It's degrading, especially if you come from a middle-class family. Worse, it's awful if you've already had some kind of professional job before signing on to be the dirt on the boss's boots - like, if you went to college and worked as a teacher and actually got kids to pay attention to you, really feeling this connection to work/teaching/identity or some shit, and now you are just literally the scum on this captain's boots, in the lowest possible job in the world. It hurts! It hurts your dignity. But the hurt, and also the dignity, both wear off in time.

So what if some old bastard sea captain orders me - ME! - to get a broom and sweep down the decks? What does that indignity amount to, compared to the shit in the Bible, compared to the shit in the news, compared to the shit everyone else has to take. Do you think the archangel Gabriel thinks anything the less of me, because I promptly and respectfully obey that old hunks in that particular instance? Who ain’t a slave? Tell me that. We're all just serfs under capitalism, right, so why not just be honest about it: I prefer the honesty. Anyway, however the old sea captains may order me about - slapping and punching of course - I have the satisfaction of knowing that it's the same experience everyone else on Earth has, but more honest. Everyone else in the world is being served the exact same way. Either in a physical or a metaphysical way - sometimes people get the shit beaten out of them in person, sometimes online, sometimes emotionally, it happens to you in EVERY JOB, you sign on to get pushed around and slapped in the teeth: so the point is that when you're a sailor, it's a clean and honest slap. All the workers of the world share the same universal slap to the face that gets passed round, one slap passed all 'round the chain, like paying it forward, but it's a slap; and we should all accept this Universal Slap as the price of living, and then offer each other healing back massages, brother to brother, and slap each other and then kissed the places we slapped, and be happy.

I could examine that but I'm not going to.

Anyway: I always go to sea as a sailor. I've said that already. You're welcome. BUT THE POINT IS, they pay you. If you're a passenger, they don't pay you, at least, not that I've ever heard of [citation needed] (do they pay passengers?? Is there a job I can get where I can be a passenger and get paid?? Look this up.) Yeah so passengers have to pay. And there is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid. The act of paying is perhaps the most uncomfortable infliction that the two orchard thieves entailed upon us. (That's Adam and Eve. You get it.) But BEING PAID. GETTING PAID IS THE BEST. NOTHING COMPARES TO GETTING PAID. EVERYONE LOVES THAT SHIT. Which is surprising, since we also apparently believe that money is the root of all evil, and isn't there something in the bible about "no rich people can get into heaven," right? And yet it's universal, literally everyone loves payday. Ah! How cheerfully we send ourselves to hell.

Finally, I always go to sea as a sailor (I've said this already) because it's FRESH AIR AND EXERCISE. Okay so think about ships. Normally, bosses stand on the "bridge" thing, and because we're sailing a boat, the nose is going into the wind and the butt part of the boat is at the back. That's how wind works. But if you think about it, winds usually go in one direction more than other directions (unless the men have been eating beans and farting: it's Pythagoras, look it up) SO if you're a boss standing on the boss-deck, the wind is blowing FROM the sailors TOWARDS you, and YOU ARE ACTUALLY BREATHING THE AIR THAT SAILORS ALREADY BREATHED. The boss THINKS he breathes it first, but he doesn't. He gets the air at the BACK of the boat and sailors get the air at the FRONT. So it's better to be at the front of the boat (sailor) for health reasons. This is a metaphor for life and work, etc.

But I have smelled the sea lots of times as a paid sailor and WHY I should decide to go on a whaling expedition - ok so you know how there's an invisible police officer of the Fates who has me under constant surveillance, who secretly dogs me, and influences me in some unaccountable way? YOU get me. You know him. "The poor FBI agent tasked with reading my search engine history" YOU GET ME. Anyway, "Ishmael, why, after having a perfectly well-reasoned, and very smart of you, part-time job as a spontaneous random sailor, did you decide to escalate that to joining a WHALING EXPEDITION, which is worse in every way?" Well, ask my fucking secret FBI agent, he can answer better than anyone else. Including me. You get me. Also, obviously, this was predestined, part of the Universe's Grand Programme for its talent show, which was all scheduled way before our time. The concept of sending me on the whaling voyage comes in as a kind of interlude or solo between the main performances of the Universe's great talent show. I bet it was advertised llike,

"PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF THE UNITED STATES EMBROILED IN ONGOING LEGAL DISPUTE.

Whaling voyage by some guy called Ishmael.

BLOODY BATTLE IN AFGHANISTAN."

Like a commercial break in between the big acts. A filler episode. Lightens the load for everyone else. Though I can't explain why the stage managers - the Fates - chose such a shitty role for me, a WHALING VOYAGE of all things, when it feels like others were given magnificent parts in high tragedies, and short and easy parts in genteel comedies, and jolly parts in farces - it seems a little unreasonable at first. Why doth Ishmael get shat upon, etc. But then I think about all the circumstances, the plot points and motivations that were cunningly presented to me under various disguises - FBI agents, bouts of random hanger, gay awakenings, you get me - and you can see that actually, I was set up. And worse, between them all, these Fates and Circumstances conspired to make me believe it was all my own choice and good judgment. Is Free Will an illusion? Are my decisions bad? We will NEVER know because I, Ishmael, am just a little guy that the Universe plays head games with.

One of the ways the Universe tricked me into starring in this performance and then mocking me for it was the overwhelming idea of the great whale himself (whaling expeditions usually contain whales.) Such a portentous and mysterious monster roused all my curiosity. Then of course, if you have a whale, you have the wild and distant seas where the whale rolls around with his body-the-size-of-an-island; the dangers and nameless perils of the whale; whales are also found in interesting places I haven't seen; this all tipped me over the edge. Maybe normal people could've resisted, but I am tormented with an everlasting itch for obscurity. I hate everyone else's oceans. I want the forbidden seas.

You know The Horrors? Of course you do. You might be surprised that I, the most mentally healthy person you've ever met, a person who is self-aware enough to go to sea when they're at their fucking limits, a guy who likes fresh air and manual labor and normal things, is familiar with The Horrors. Well, you'd be surprised. I know what's good, I'm an extrovert. But I'm still quick to perceive The Horrors. And how I deal with the horrors is a very extroverted thing: I'm social with them, if they'll let me. It's smart to be on good terms with The Horrors. You should always be on good terms with your permanent neighbors. That's how extroverts deal with The Horrors, and I recommend it.

I think that's enough explanation for why I welcomed the whaling voyage. The great flood-gates of the wonder-world swung open, and in the wild figments of imagination that pushed me into doing it, the whales came marching two by two, hurrah, hurrah. They marched into my innermost soul in endless processions and occupied it, you see, I was quite helpless under this occupation - I consented to the haunting and the whales marched in to haunt me - and amidst them all was one grand shrouded white phantom, like a snowy mountain in the air.

You get it.

You know how it is, with whales.

(read the actual first chapter of Moby Dick here: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/2701/2701-h/2701-h.htm)

#mody bick