#ill never forgive the chinese (joke)

[sliphole]

Thinking about Flowers again (the Channel 4 TV series) and really want to talk about Shun.

Warning for spoilers, mental illness, suicide. Full text under the cut since I kind of ended up writing an essay.

Note: though I've seen the show through a few times it has been a while since I've watched it and I don't have immediate access to it anymore since Netflix apparently took it down. I can't be bothered to go through the pains I did to watch it back when it first aired so I'm working mostly on memory. It helps that Shun forever haunts my brain and I've been thinking about him on and off again since 2016, but forgive me if I get anything wrong.

I've never seen another show deal with the many ways depression can manifest and affect anyone like Flowers has. With Maurice and especially Amy you understand there is most likely a genetic component to their mental illnesses and it's devastating because they don't have any answers as to why they're like this and don't know how to make it better. But Shun. My poor misunderstood Shun. I wonder how many people who watched the show even realized that he unfortunately did die by suicide at the end of the series, and I only ask because I've hardly seen anyone mention it, or really talk about his struggle much at all.

By contrast Shun's depression seems to have less of a genetic component and the circumstances of his life instead are what led him to his fate. He's seen by the cast of characters and the audience as a care-free, quirky, lovable weirdo who always looks on the bright side and can't feel put down by anyone's words. And this is all probably a genuine aspect of his personality when he's in a good place, but for the span of the series it's all an act! While the Flowers themselves become very open about their struggles with mental illness, Shun becomes more closed off in a sense by pretending everything is okay as he continues to deteriorate. He's the kind to mask his pain with comedy, or an overly cheerful demeanor, thus he gets overlooked by the Flowers and the audience. Which was probably the intent, anyway.

So he laughs, and jokes, and says odd little things, and enthusiastically supports and believes in everyone around him. Then he has brief moments of sobering emotional vulnerability, empathy and understanding for Maurice's suicidal ideation ("I like dark," being one of the most emotionally revealing and impactful scenes in the series, serving as a prequel to the events of the show while also being the final scene to play after Shun's implied death, if I remember correctly), isolated mental breakdowns (in which he hallucinates his dead family), bouts of heavy binge drinking, and in what is probably the most shocking moment if you've yet to realize he isn't just a ball of sunshine despite everything, goes on a drunken and really hateful, racist rant about Chinese people in the most self-destructive environment he possibly could; a Chinese restaurant (because in my opinion if you want to get badly hurt without doing it yourself that's a pretty good way go about it). Shun as a character is not silly and childish (and his character is definitely infantilized) but a deeply troubled and flawed person who is trying to hold it together for the sake of everyone around him. Unfortunately, he is so often on the verge of cracking that he can't help slipping up occasionally.

Shun has suffered the greatest loss of anyone in the series. He found his entire family after they had been killed in an earthquake which also destroyed the rest of his village. He became displaced and lived in miserable poverty until he discovered and connected profoundly enough with Maurice's work that he believes it is what saved his life. He wants desperately to find family again with the Flowers, but despite everyone's best efforts he remains walled off by the seemingly insurmountable sense of isolation and otherness that comes with being a foreigner. When he hallucinates his dead family in the woods, he tells them, "They just don't like me here." At the same time you can tell he's torn between the family he misses and loves and the Flowers, as the manifestation of his father especially is very harsh towards him, and as a unit they are dismissive of his anxieties and broadly judgemental of westerners in general. Through the entire interaction he remains physically distant from all of them; it's not the warm, ideal reunion he was hoping for. To me the scene also implies Shun may carry some sense of guilt for being unhappy with his family life before it was taken from him, and all of this together just aggravates the sense that he has no one to turn to and nowhere to go.

Later on when he revisits the same spot in the woods with Donald, to show him his "special place," I believe it was in part so they would know where to find him if he ever did complete a suicide attempt. At the end of the series, we see him sneak away with the gun that was confiscated from Amy and in the last shot of him in the present he's standing forlorn and contemplative in his same special place.

If anything, the show is very good at letting us know in the end that no one is truly to blame for suicide, not the individual who dies by it and not the people around them who couldn't prevent it. But it's especially devastating when you don't see it coming, or when it happens to the ones who seem like they were doing okay, or doing better, or whose personalities were so happy and fun and...untouchable, in a sense. It also demonstrates (especially with Amy's manic highs and final, intense breakdowns) that things can go from fine to crushing and traumatic very abruptly from an outside perspective. I maintain that the show gives us the most relatable, realistic depiction of living with depression and suicidal ideation I've ever found despite its surrealism, and Shun's troubles are subtle enough to have been placed on the back burner in much the same way many people really have experienced. Flowers tells us to pay just as much attention to the Shuns in our lives, and in my mind this show will always be just as much about him as it is about Maurice.

#Flowers #Channel 4 Flowers #Will Sharpe #OP #Feel like I've missed a few points but we can circle back #This is plenty for now lmao sorry #I'm just sobbing and screaming about this show forever and ever I had to write something to get it out

[rockislandadultreads]

Immigrants in New York: Hit Memoirs to Check Out

Beautiful Country by Qian Julie Wang

In Chinese, the word for America, Mei Guo, translates directly to “beautiful country.” Yet when seven-year-old Qian arrives in New York City in 1994 full of curiosity, she is overwhelmed by crushing fear and scarcity. In China, Qian’s parents were professors; in America, her family is “illegal” and it will require all the determination and small joys they can muster to survive. In Chinatown, Qian’s parents labor in sweatshops. Instead of laughing at her jokes, they fight constantly, taking out the stress of their new life on one another. Shunned by her classmates and teachers for her limited English, Qian takes refuge in the library and masters the language through books, coming to think of The Berenstain Bears as her first American friends. And where there is delight to be found, Qian relishes it: her first bite of gloriously greasy pizza, weekly “shopping days,” when Qian finds small treasures in the trash lining Brooklyn’s streets, and a magical Christmas visit to Rockefeller Center—confirmation that the New York City she saw in movies does exist after all. But then Qian’s headstrong Ma Ma collapses, revealing an illness that she has kept secret for months for fear of the cost and scrutiny of a doctor’s visit. As Ba Ba retreats further inward, Qian has little to hold onto beyond his constant refrain: Whatever happens, say that you were born here, that you’ve always lived here. Inhabiting her childhood perspective with exquisite lyric clarity and unforgettable charm and strength, Qian Julie Wang has penned an essential American story about a family fracturing under the weight of invisibility, and a girl coming of age in the shadows, who never stops seeking the light.

The Baddest Bitch in the Room: A Memoir by Sophia Chang

Fearless and unpredictable, Sophia Chang prevailed in a male-dominated music industry to manage the biggest names in hip-hop and R&B. The daughter of Korean immigrants in predominantly white suburban Vancouver, Chang left for New York City, and soon became a powerful voice in music boardrooms at such record companies as Atlantic, Jive, and Universal Music Group.

As an A&R rep, Chang met a Staten Island rapper named Prince Rakeem, now known as the RZA, founder of the Wu-Tang Clan, the most revered and influential rap group in hip-hop history. That union would send her on a transformational odyssey, leading her to a Shaolin monk who would become her partner, an enduring kung fu practice, two children, and a reckoning with what type woman she ultimately wanted to be.

For decades, Chang helped remarkably talented men tell their stories. Now, with The Baddest Bitch In The Room, she is ready to tell her own story of marriage, motherhood, aging, desire, marginalization, and martial arts. This is an inspirational debut memoir by a woman of color who has had the audacity to be bold in the pursuit of her passions, despite what anyone—family, society, the dominant culture—have prescribed.

Strength in What Remains: A Journey of Remembrance and Forgiveness by Tracy Kidder

Strength in What Remains is a wonderfully written, inspiring account of one man’s remarkable American journey and of the ordinary people who helped him – a brilliant testament to the power of will and of second chances. Tracy Kidder, winner of the Pulitzer Prize and author of the bestsellers The Soul of a New Machine, House, and the enduring classic Mountains Beyond Mountains, has been described by the Baltimore Sun as the “master of the non-fiction narrative.” In this new book, Kidder gives us the superb story of a hero for our time. Strength in What Remains is a wonderfully written, inspiring account of one man’s remarkable American journey and of the ordinary people who helped him – a brilliant testament to the power of will and of second chances. Deo arrives in America from Burundi in search of a new life. Having survived a civil war and genocide, plagued by horrific dreams, he lands at JFK airport with two hundred dollars, no English, and no contacts. He ekes out a precarious existence delivering groceries, living in Central Park, and learning English by reading dictionaries in bookstores. Then Deo begins to meet the strangers who will change his life, pointing him eventually in the direction of Columbia University, medical school, and a life devoted to healing. Kidder breaks new ground in telling this unforgettable story as he travels with Deo back over a turbulent life in search of meaning and forgiveness. An extraordinary writer, Tracy Kidder once again shows us what it means to be fully human by telling a story about the heroism inherent in ordinary people, a story about a life based on hope.

His Oldest Friend: The Story of an Unlikely Bond by Sonny Kleinfield

They met under the most inauspicious circumstances. He was a teenage volunteer at a nursing home on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. She was a wheelchair-bound resident in her nineties. He was a poor Hispanic, living in a rented room in the barrio, separated from his family. Her life, at least before arthritis hobbled her, was comfortable, with regular visits from her daughters and grandchildren. But when Margaret Oliver's daughter hired Elvis Checo to look in on her mother a few afternoons each week, nobody anticipated that this would be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. In His Oldest Friend, Sonny Kleinfield takes us inside the lives of these two unlikely close friends to explore the world of the very young and the very old. Too often we tend to submerge individuals in the group identity of "youth" and "the elderly," but Checo and  Oliver defy the stereotypes, offering each other that rarest of gifts: recognition and affirmation as a unique human being.

#memoir #nonfiction #non-fiction #biographies #biography #autobiography #to read #tbr #to be read #library books #nonfiction books #reading recommendations #Book Recommendations #book recs #booklr #book tumblr

[ronweasleyisourking]

Why I Don’t Find Jokes That Claim “Actually, X wrote Harry Potter” Funny

In the wake of Joanne Rowling yet again being openly transphobic on Twitter, a common joke is going around, and the layout of the joke is basically just “[Insert name] wrote Harry Potter,” and the names have varied from Nobody to Luna Lovegood to Daniel Radcliffe, etcetera, etcetera. But what a lot of people making these jokes don’t seem to understand is that this bigotry is not new, that Rowling’s bigotry is all throughout her books, and that saying someone else wrote these books means you believe they have these bigoted views too. And I don’t really find that funny.

I understand that you might be wondering, “What bigoted views played a part in the Harry Potter books? I don’t remember anything wrong.” That’s okay! I’ll be happy to outline some of the issues of the books. So, that’s what I’ll be talking about in this post:  

Firstly, anti-semetism

English folklore has always been rooted in anti-semetism, their descriptions being based off Jewish stereotypes, and this does not stop with Harry Potter where the goblins are cast as the overprotective bankers of Gringotts, following the stereotype that Jewish people (and Goblins, being based off them) are greedy. This trend also does not stop in the books or original series. Ron Perlman (a Jewish actor) play a half-goblin in the Jewish mafia in the first Fantastic Beasts movie, continuing the questionable and problematic connection between Jewish people and goblins in Harry Potter. 

“But the entire series is supposed to be a parallel to the Holocaust, and the muggleborns (who step into the role of Jewish people in this parallel) are the good guys, how can she be anti-semetic?” Let’s turn again to the Fantastic Beasts movies, that she wrote the screenplays of, specifically to the character of Queenie Goldstein. In December of 2014, Joanne revealed that Anthony Goldstein was a Jewish wizard at Hogwarts and from that we can can reasonably conclude that Tina and Queenie were also Jewish. Which wouldn’t have been a questionable decision if not for the fact that a canon Jewish women (Queenie) ended up joining the side of Gellert Grindelwald (who is supposed to be a parallel to Hitler). What the fuck is up with that?

There’s also an issue with house elves and racism but that is a much bigger issue that would require a lot more of my time and research before I would feel comfortable writing about it, plus it deserves a post of it’s own. 

Secondly, “canon” gay characters

I don’t mind that there weren’t any gay characters in the books, I really don’t. What I do mind is JK Rowling going in after the fact to say that there were gay characters. It’s unnecesary and honestly, she chooses the worst rep. First of all, she revealed Albus Dumbledore as gay in 2007, a character that manipulates things and people to his own benefit throughout the series and leaves a child in an abusive home, despite undoubtingly having the power to protect him. The second character she reveals as gay though is Gellert Grindelwald, who, as I said before is supposed to parallel Hitler, who was the face of the Holocaust and led to the deaths of hundreds of gay and effeminate men during that time. And the fact that she continues to refuses to show it in canon, despite having a whole new movie series about the rivalry between the two only makes it worse.

Another thing that has gone around in the Harry Potter fandom is the fact (or rumor) that Joanne once said in an interview that she considered making Dean and Seamus gay but that it would “take attention” away from the trio but one, I cannot find this interview anywhere, and two, believing that a background gay couple would have taken attention away from the main characters is not great. 

If she wanted gay characters, she should have included them in the texts. Otherwise, I think she needs to stop trying to get brownie points for representation that she didn’t write. 

Thirdly, werewolves

Joanne Rowling released an ebook in September of 2016 where she wrote that werewolves in the books, like Remus, were a metaphor for illnesses that carry a stigma, listing HIV/Aids as an example. This again was a questionable choice, seeing as HIV/Aids is a common problem in the LGBTQ+ community and the other main werewolf in the books, Fenrir Greyback, targeted children which follows the stereotype that gay men are predators.

And finally, these characters

Nagini. While I know that many people believe that this wasn’t actually planned as Joanne said it was, the etymology of her name does trace back to the Naag or Naagin, semi-divine half-human, half-snake creatures from mythology in South Asian cultures, meaning it might have actually been planned. But the problem is not whether it was planned or not, the problem is that Nagini is a woman of color (who is Korean, meaning she is East Asian not South Asian)  cursed to live as an animal who spends the last years of her life as the servant of a white man who is equated with Nazis and whose eventual fate is tied to his. 

Rita Skeeter. Rita is described as having a heavy jaw, thick fingers, and large and masculine hands, and with Joanne being openly transphobic, it’s not hard to make the connection of where she might have gotten the inspiration for this character from, and the fact that she transforms her body to spy on children brings to mind a certain tweet that Rowling liked a while ago that described trans women as “foxes pretending to be hens to get in the hen house.” The idea that trans people are predators who spy on others is a harmful stereotype and this description and characterization of Rita Skeeter does not help.

Cho Chang. Cho Chang is a Chinese character who has two surnames for a name, meaning there was little thought put into her chracter’s name. Honestly, it’s not that hard to find out whether or not “Cho” is a first name, it’s just one quick search away from not being in the wrong. That and the fact that Cho, along with Sue Li and Padma Patil (some of the only Asian characters in the books), were all placed in Ravenclaw, or “the smart house” just shows how little thought that Rowling gave her canonically poc characters. 

Seamus Finnigan. I only recently realized the issues of this character, and it’s likely that most people wouldn’t know why this was a problem, but consider why an English women in the nineties (at the height of The Troubles and the English/Irish conflict) would write the one known Irish character in the books as untrusting of the English (of all of Harry’s friend, Seamus was the one who didn’t believe Harry in book five). Not only that, but in the films (which she was largely involved in) characterized Seamus as clumsy and explosive and a bit of a pyro, which are sterotypical Irish traits, and she didn’t question it at all? 

Conclusion

These are just a few of the issues seen in the Harry Potter books and movies and I didn’t even talk about the issues that are less bigotry and more simply problematic, like Viktor Krum’s character, or the theme of forgiving abusive people in your life, or the constant issue of love potions and consent.

There is so much wrong in the books and we can’t just ignore them or transfer them to another person. Joanne Rowling wrote these books and her bigoted beliefs are abundantly clear in them and we all need to accept that. We can love the worldbuilding and the characters and yes, even the story, but we must recongnize the issues in them and we must realize that a bigoted person wrote it. There is no escaping that. 

And yes, as everyone who I have expressed this two has brought up, the story does belong to the fans. And we can do whatever we wish with it, but we should never forget where the story began and we shouldn’t try and pretend that it had a different origin. Death of the author, or the idea that anybody's interpretation of the text is a valid interpretation, and that the author's interpretation is not the only one that counts, does not mean that the author is literally removed from the text. They still wrote it. And their bias (opinions) are still a huge part of the text. And we can try with all our might to remove their bias from our fanworks but it is still there in the original text. So, yes, the story belongs to fans. But the bias in it belongs to the author and will always be present.

The author of the Harry Potter series is JK Rowling, no matter how bigoted she and her beliefs are. We should never forget that.

#jk rowling critical

[poetrythreesixfive]

The Rona

Once upon a long year dreary, as I pondered weak and weary

over many a curiously crazy story of political lore

about the insanely fraudulent scheming, it felt like I was dreaming

that some crooked, reality show con-artist boor

had become the president of this American shore—

           it had to be a dream, and nothing more.

Ah, unwitting and unwary, I remember it was February

and the freezing snows had not yet melted outdoors

when in quiet winter stillness we first heard of some strange illness,

some new viral illness spreading on a distant shore,

a novel corona virus infecting the distant Chinese shore—    

           and certainly not here, forevermore.

And the crazy quick outrageous spread of the disease contagious

thrilled me—filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before,

so that now, to still the racing of my mind I began pacing,

wondering if this foreign agent would come knocking on my door,

if this deadly, infectious agent would slither underneath my door—

           and kill us all, and nothing more.

Not to mention, conclusions foregone, in the white house sat a moron,

(and if you are a Republican, your forgiveness I implore)

but intellectually, he was napping; and his hair was always flapping,

flapping in the wind that emitted from his mouth forevermore,

ignoring figures, facts and reality itself forevermore—

           this is the truth, and nothing more.

Deep into this quandary peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing,

doubting that this administration full of idiots galore

could possibly save us in case of crisis, from terrorists like ISIS

let alone a pandemic that threatened to spread to our shore,

for anything resembling reality they tended to ignore—

           yet their loyal base continued to adore.

Back into my chamber turning, my feverish forehead burning,

little did I know the Rona had already crossed my door,

had entered our unwary nation by the thousands on vacation

flying into airports and entering unscreened by scores,

pouring into the population, spreading the virus galore—

           unscathed we were, nevermore.          

Open here I flung the shutter to get some air and loudly utter,

“What did you expect from a man who is a cretin at his core?”

who had left us drained and weary with his nutty conspiracy theories

of how the virus was a Chinese hoax and nothing more,

or a plan by democrats to make him look bad, or so he swore—

           and dismissed it all, forevermore.

But the Rona stepped in anyway, ignoring him, and was here to stay,

for the cretin’s cartoonish, buffoonish tweets little relevancy bore,

for we cannot help agreeing, no living, stable, thinking being

ever saw a president quite so petty at his rotten core,

so pompous and tyrannical at his obviously shallow core—

           who refused the truth forevermore.

And the Rona spread, beguiling all the victims who weren’t smiling,

circulating from mouth to mouth with every sniff and cough and snore,

and not the least exception made he, not a minute stopped or stayed he

but infected every lad and lady from Atlantic to Pacific shore,

and perched above the busts of Washington and Lincoln and more—

           and conquered America forevermore.

Much I marveled at this insanely infectious bug that so plainly

cared not for political party, creed, class, race, location, or

whether or not you believe it existed, or how much you resisted,

a ghastly, grim, and virulent Rona from a distant Asian shore,

who could be stopped by simply wearing a mask inside the store—

           but some would not forevermore.

So the scientists spread the word, and every rational person heard

that if you simply kept your distance and wore mask in the store

and every time you encountered folks, for this virus was no joke,

we could stamp it out like other plagues that had come before,

stop its communal spread within weeks and shut the door—

           but some would not listen forevermore.

Startled by the ignorance broken by advice so aptly spoken

some idiots instead listened to their witless leader they adored,

attending maskless parties and rallies, and no one keeping tallies

of who was infecting whom, spreading the Rona around galore,

and hundreds of thousands perished from shore to anguished shore—

           and the Rona continued forevermore.

And then it started spreading faster, and unmerciful disaster

dispersed across the entire land to nearly every single door,

until the hospitals were flooded, yet the Rona, so cold-blooded,

continued its march unimpeded like an invading force at war,

until one day there appeared a vaccine for which we did implore—

           and the Rona was invincible nevermore.

Then, methought, the air grew lighter, for the vaccine was a fighter

ready to knock out the Rona and kick its ass across the floor,

Savior! I cried, hope has lent thee, by science God has sent thee

to save us from the relentless Rona that had conquered our shores,

but whose virulent ass the vaccine would kick out the door—

           and eradicate forevermore.

Be that word our sign of parting, viral fiend! I screamed upstarting,

get thee back to thy dark, infectious hell-spawn shore,

leave no spore as a token of all the lives you have broken,

leave us alone and never again knock upon our nation’s door,

take your wheezing, feverish hands off our folks and find the door,

           and get thee gone forevermore.

But the Rona, never quitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

on the minds and memories of all those affected from before,

and that time has all the seeming of a nightmare we were dreaming

and the aftereffect will forever throw its shadow on the floor,

and the soul of our nation from out that shadow

           shall be lifted nevermore.

                          -G.J. Filip, 12/2020

                           2020 was the 175th anniversary of Poe’s ‘The Raven’

#poem #poetry #poe #poetrythreesixfive #georgefilip #spilledink #spilled words #poetsontumblr #PoetsofTumblr #poetryportal #poetsandwriters #edgarallanpoe #theraven #therona #coronavirus #pandemic #satire

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 72 Rundown

Code Geass: Lelouch continues his plan to kidnap a little Chinese girl and Todoh gets to show off his new Zangetsu so the Black Knights enjoy having two Knightmares worth a damn for once, though as if on cue Kallen gets caught in the most bullshit way possible bringing them back down to one Ace. Xingke has home field advantage and a new Knightmare with spinny dealies and turns Zero’s bullshit tactics of fighting in the one place that basically wipes out the enemy for him against him. However the gods of the Code Geass world themselves said “You know Xingke’s way too OP, better Kimimaro him and make it so he’s terminally ill so he can’t do too much” so now the Black Knights are literally backed into a cave and instead of letting Xingke just finish the job the Chinese government swoops in with Britannian reinforcements to try and claim victory and seize power all at once. Also Lelouch is somehow back at school despite being in China and I don’t remember this part at all but I guess it answers my question from last time. I think it has something to do with Sayoko and  realistic Lupin III style mask or something.

Inuyasha: The Panther Demon filler continues as Inuyasha’s Group, Koga and his two goons and Sesshomaru/Jaken make their way into Panther Demon territory after Inuyasha breaks their barrier. Koga meets up with Royokhan and gets the low down on the Panther Demon backstory with Taiga killing their leader hundreds of years ago and then Sesshomaru beating them 50 years ago but losing a lot of men in the process. It’s kind of a neat turn seeing Jaken go try to get Inuyasha and Sesshomaru’s like “fine I guess we’ll let him help” and then getting mad when he finds out he can’t even come because he’s nailed to a tree. Like it’s a weird bit of complexity for Sesshomaru to feel betrayed by not getting help he never really wanted and now being determined to fight off the Panthers alone. Anyway all the groups square off against the Panther mini-bosses, Lightning Panther beats Miroku and Sango and gets them captured with Kagome, Wind Panther fights Koga to a draw, Ice Panther continues her beef with Sesshomaru and Fire Panther keeps teasing Inuyasha. It’s kinda nice that they give every group someone to fight and something to do but I kinda wish these fights lasted longer and Fire/Ice panther were scaled up a bit to match Inuyasha and Sesshomaru’s power because they’re firing huge sword beams at this point and it just doesn’t seem like they’d have this much trouble with them. Also Jaken and Inuyasha meet and both of them are like ‘hey you seen my group?’ which I just thought was funny.

Yu Yu Hakusho: A new arc begins and honestly this is the Yu Yu Hakusho arc I remember the least because I think I missed an episode or two in the middle of it since YYH came on right around when I got home from school back in the day. But yeah, Kuwabara suddenly decides he doesn’t wanna do demon shit anymore and Yusuke’s like “fine it wasn’t your job anyway you made me let you come last time” and then Kuwabara immediately backpedals on it because there’s a hot girl he wants to save. Also they still need to give Keiko a lame backstory about Yusuke interning with a detective that doesn’t explain all the zombies after her but Kuwabara’s sister being like “Damn who’s the spirit baby, here’s $50 for the bus” is fine apparently. Anyway we get the Toguro brothers’ introduction and it’s neat to see them effortlessly make Yukina cry to make jewels and then have Younger Toguro give her some advice about making herself cry on cue so she doesn’t have to suffer every time which is some weird tough love take it or leave it advice that says a lot about his character right away. Also Yusuke and Kuwabara fight a giant plant demon who’s all like “Yeah I’m a demon but I got bills to pay bitch” and like what bills does a demon have and why can’t they just steal from the rich human but it doesn’t matter because Yusuke and Kuwabara just blow him away.

Fate Zero: So the church is like ‘yo free Command Seal to whoever fucks up Caster’ which is strange because yeah Caster’s killing children and shit but UBW Caster killed a bunch of peeps too and no one blinked an eye and Kiritsugu blew up a fucking building and no one cares so I have no idea where the line is here. Also Iskandar gets a shirt from amazon and it’s hilarious but he forgot to order pants and Waver tells him he’s not allowed to wear pants until he murders a historical figure and Iskander’s like “you know what that’s fair” so he’s just gonna be freeballing it for a while I guess. Strategy meeting with Kiritsugu, Iris and Saber happens and Saber seems more than a little pissy that Kiritsugu doesn’t address her directly and is basically treating her like a Pokemon. They talk about the four spots the grail can appear at and since we’ve already seen UBW we know it’s gonna be in the huge residential place so it can murder everyone and also Shirou. Also Caster shows up for Tentacle Hentai time with Saber along with more child murder but Lancer’s like “Hey I am the Vegeta of this story and no one kills Saberot but me” while Kiritsugu does his Homura Akemi thing to fight off Kayneth’s T-1000 Black Clover Nozel Silva Mercury Magic which is just amazingly amusing to me that Kiritsugu’s fighting style is to just shoot all these demi-god mages in the face and end his battles in the most anticlimactic way possible.

Konosuba: So Kazuma’s dead again. Shoulda really occurred to him sooner that dying again would get him reincarned again but nah, Samurai Santa has to come off him so he can meet Eris but he actually seems to miss his friends a bit. Like he doesn’t ask to go back specifically we’re not being that cheesy here but considering Kazuma’s two purposes in this story are to complain and explain the joke it is nice that he has some lingering feelings for his party. Then Aqua’s all “Hey fucker get back here, you’re not getting rid of me that easily” and despite Eris saying they can’t just revive him because he doesn’t belong there Aqua just does it anyway, really gives the vibe of an older coworker being like “you’re not supposed to do it this way but this is the way I do it” kind of deal. But yeah Kazuma has a crush on Eris now and despite these guys saying how much they hate being in a group together they sure seem to turn down every out they have to get away from each other, idk I get the joke and jadedness but a little more sincerity would be nice.

Sailor Moon Crystal: Usagi wakes up at Mamoru’s place and he gives her his backstory about how he became Amnesiac Batman in Evening Wear. Luna knows Sailor V but for some reason is really cagey about divulging that to the rest of the group even though literally everyone has been assembled now. There’s a dated plot about Blockbuster taking over people’s minds that Usagi literally handwaves away when Zoisite comes out and punches her and defeats the whole team with one dark energy wave. Tuxedo Mask comes in and punches him in the face and then remembers he doesn’t have any powers and gets owned. The two have a sweet but ultimately cringy reunion before Sailor V saves their worthless asses.

Durarara!!:  With Mikado’s status as Founder of the Dollars revealed, Seiji goes on a stabbing rampage again and luckily keeps stabbing the only people that don’t actually get hurt by it, this time being Celty. Celty’s about to go grim reaper on Seiji’s worthless ass before Mika Harima runs in and tells everyone she isn’t really Celty’s head, weirdly enough Mikado recognizes this right before she says anything somehow, like makes sense Celty realizes it’s not her head but Mikado has no frame of reference aside from knowing she was wearing Mika’s clothes which in her cover story would be explained by Celty’s head leeching off Mika’s dead body. But yeah despite Seiji spending 18 hours a day staring at Mika he apparently couldn’t tell either which really throws a wrench in his “power of love justifies indiscriminate murder” philosophy which amuses both Izaya and me. Mikado breaks down the craziness that’s just transpired what with the stalking, murder, incest, identity theft, actual theft, and stabbing and tries to put a positive spin on it in that Seiji and Mika are both fucking crazy and deserve each other but it’s a hard sell my dude. Izaya tells Mikado that he’s going to be an excitement junkie like him soon if he keeps ramping up life in this crazy city and Celty just kinda forgives Shinra for knowing where her head is without telling her and also plastic surgerizing a yandere girl to look like her and give her her name which seems a little weird for them to just punch each other and call it a wash when Shinra was arguably as yandere as Mika here and they still get unofficially married. Seiji tells Mika he doesn’t love her but because of all the shit she went through to literally mold herself into the object of his obsession he guess she can hang around until he gets the headless sex toy of his dreams so… happy ending I guess. Everyone in this town is fucking crazy and they forgive each other way too easily but for a show that swings back and forth between how fucked up people are and saying humanity is fundamentally pretty decent I guess that’s kind of the point.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #Code Geass #Inuyasha #Yu Yu Hakusho #Fate Zero #Konosuba #Sailor Moon Crystal #Durarara!!

[perfectlywisedelusions]

A Diagnostic Almost-Essay On The Last Airbender Movie

The Last Airbender is one of the many bad book and/or anime adaptations that have plagued the 2000s. Like all of these rage-inducing two-hour long torture sessions seemingly designed to make fandoms crawl into a corner and cry, The Last Airbender was incredibly unfaithful to the beloved source material. But there are two differences that set this movie apart from all the other depressing studio flops-namely, the fact that the show was made in America, and the fact that the movie fails as a movie and an adaptation. It has always been a divisive factor among ATLA fans on whether or not the show is an anime. It’s made in the anime style, but it was also made in the US. Most anime adaptations that fail miserably can probably be attributed to the fact they were made by studio executives who would never want to watch the source material and as such completely miss the point of the original. For the Last Airbender, though, it was a massive hit in the US. M. Night Shyamalan said he took on the project because his daughter was a big fan. The show has a clear plot and tone, and it’s even in English to make things easy for the screenwriters. (Except that there were none. It was written by M. Night Shyamalan.) So how did a $150 million blockbuster manage to fail to successfully adapt a children’s Nickelodeon show? By putting M. Night Shyamalan in charge. Shyamalan had only really made horror movies, and his most recent ones had been less than successful. A struggling horror director whose trademarks are a bunch of characters staying in one location in a realistic setting as they undergo internal struggle and mounting suspense seems a great choice to direct a fun action adventure movie that relies on different locations in a fantasy world, right? Needless to say, Shyamalan was out of his depth, and it really shows in the movie. It starts out strong, with the Nickelodeon logo and the classic shots of 4 benders bending their respective elements against a red background. And then, rather than transitioning to the iconic opening narration, we get Nicola Peltz reading a bunch of exposition in the same manner than an embarrassed elementary schooler would read an essay in front of the class. And then, as if we weren’t tired of listening to this girl talking, we get voiceover from her explaining who the characters in the scene are and what they are doing. This does not go away. It is in the entire movie. You will become very sick of Nicola Peltz’s voice by the end of the movie, but you don’t notice it because you have either a.) turned the movie off and/or left, or b.) you are too distracted by everything else. If the incredibly amateurish opening exposition dump isn’t enough of a red flag for you, then the sight of our two main heroes should be. Avatar: The Last Airbender is a very diverse show, representing Japanese, Chinese, Inuit, and Tibetan cultures as well as others. The first shot shows white actors playing characters who are decidedly not white. It would be slightly more forgivable if the actors were decent. But they’re not. Nicola Peltz, who plays Katara, supposedly got the role because her father was big in the production of the movie. And the actor who plays Sokka, Jackson Rathbone, is perhaps best known as a background character in Twilight. Clearly, this movie has a high caliber for acting. When we eventually meet Aang, he is also white and played by Noah Ringer. Noah Ringer was cast as the lead role in a $150 million dollar film because he could do martial arts. He landed the lead in a blockbuster movie with zero acting experience. The awful acting is a lot like the Phantom Menace, except nowhere near as funny. Every single character in the movie acts strangely. One noteworthy thing about the show is that it develops every character, giving them realistic traits and flaws that allow us to see them grow as well as giving them lovable personalities. (Except Azula and Fire Lord Ozai. They’re just evil. But they’re really good villains.) In the movie, everyone just says their lines with varying degrees of emotion. (Or lack of it.) Things like character traits or, you know, personality, are completely forgotten about even though we need to see these things on screen. It’s not like they had to write a whole cast of characters from scratch. M. Night Shyamalan was literally given characters with traits, backstories, flaws, conflicts, and motivations-basically everything needed to make a movie. But he failed spectacularly. What’s really sad is that Noah Ringer is apparently really friendly, and played jokes on the cast offscreen. Sounds like a certain beloved character, doesn’t it? If M. Night Shyamalan had just let Noah be himself, we could have had a decent Aang. I mean Ong. Because not only are the character’s appearances and personalities butchered, their names are too. Aang, Sokka, Iroh, and even the word Avatar are all mispronounced. M. Night Shyamalan said that this was to be true to the Asian pronunciations of the name, which could be understood if he hadn’t whitewashed the cast. Not to mention the fact that the lore of the show is completely changed for no reason. This lore is very important in later seasons, but M. Night Shyamalan decides to just change it. After the initial rage over the blatant disrespect to the show, viewers may notice the incredibly rushed pacing. 5 minutes after finding Aang, Katara decides he is her responsibility, despite the fact she doesn’t even know his name. 2 minutes after that, they are best friends and traveling the world together. Then Aang gets captured without a fight and is taken to a camp designed to imprison people who can control rocks. This prison consists of low, naturally occurring walls made of rocks. After an amazing fight scene were six men do an intense dance to move a tiny rock very slowly toward one firebender, the movie, unfortunately, continues. They rush through one of my favorite episodes, the Blue Spirit, and what is a great fight in the show is, again, incredibly lame. Then our group of “heroes” make it to the Northern Water Tribe, and Sokka and the princess “become close friends right away”. Basically, rather than showing these two characters becoming friends, we are told exactly this line this by Katara. After exactly one scene together, which is really just exposition (again) Sokka and the princess fall in love. Then the bad guys attack, with drill helmets, another really dumb battle happens, a fish is made into fish sticks, and the princess, who we have known for literally five minutes, dies in a very moving scene because we all care so much about her. Then Aang makes a giant wave and lets it down gently rather than turning into Koizilla and the movie ends. And just as you are about to sigh in relief because it’s over, we see Azula in a cliffhanger because the creators of this abomination thought it was good and they were going to make a sequel. Then we get the best part of the movie, the end credits. The credits not only mean that the movie is over (thankfully) but the animation they added in isn’t bad. The movie is awful and no one likes it. It’s a bad adaptation and a bad movie. Either it’s the movie version of the Ember Island Players play or “there is no movie in Ba Sing Se.” There’s supposed to be a live action show on Netflix but the creators left and almost no one has any hope for it anymore. Long story short, this movie was doomed because they left out the most important character, the Cabbage Merchant. Although even he and his ill-fated cabbages could not have saved this movie. 

#movie #avatar the last airbender #the last airbender #m night shyamalan #movie reviews #bad adaptations #anime

[anniekoh]

elsewhere on the internet: coronavirus, part 1

Reading a ton these days about the coronavirus, from all sorts of angles: humorous memes, local governance, border politics and xenophobia, Chinese social media, journalistic freedom/censorship, Taiwan, open science, the indie music scene etc etc.

Wuhan: a tale of immune system failure and social strength (TJMa, Feb 4, 2020)

In the confusions of the seal-off, three Wuhan Weibo users posted descriptions of what their aunt had experienced. The suspected coronavirus patient was turned away by overcrowded hospitals. Her conditions worsened rapidly at home, was finally admitted into an Intensive Care Unit, and died two days later. She never had the chance to be formally diagnosed. When her nieces posted about her death, they understandably expressed dismay. One of them described gruesome scenes at hospitals, some of which she heard about from interactions with an ambulance driver. This became her sin. As influential Weibo accounts picked up the story, they were displeased and irritated by the distraught posts... Quickly, a narrative of “bad elements” trying to sow mistrust about government disease response began to develop around the three cousins. Discrepancies of their accounts were highlighted. Suspicious wordings were scrutinized. The most eye-catching theory was that they were internet agents hired by the Taiwanese regime to stir up discontent on the mainland, based on their occasional language usage. Piqued by such storylines, thousands of Weibo users descended on the cousins’ Weibo space to insult them. “Disgusting bitches!” they cursed. When Weibo belatedly verified the identity of the three women, a few accusers made public apologies. Weibo later suspended some leading accounts in this episode.

The cousins were not alone. All over Weibo, desperate help seekers from the epicenter of the contagious disaster were being chased and attacked by “truth guards” for spreading rumors and misinformation. The bullying was so widespread that a user came up with a satirical guideline advising Wuhaners asking for help on Weibo to self-humiliate and apologize preemptively to the truth guards for their forgiveness.

By Jan 26, 3 days after the official seal-off, the spectacle had grown into a national concern, prompting bloggers to openly call for a calm-down of the frenzy: “Wuhan people are not our enemies.” More concretely, a plea went out to stop leaking the personal information of people from Hubei. Apparently, vigilantes in the system who had access to information such as hotel check-in registries were passing it on so that others could avoid, report, or drive away those associated with Hubei province.

As ordinary people were being chased, isolated, bullied, silenced and pushed around, the other line of questioning, after those responsible for the fiasco, was struggling to keep its focus. In a bombardment of outbreak-related information, public anger acted like the small ball in a roulette game. At any given moment it may land on top of the Wuhan Municipal Government, Hubei Provincial Government, the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the United States CDC, or the World Health Organization (WHO), depending on which media story or blog post was trending at that time. The outbreak and the Spring Festival holiday together created an unprecedented online time-space where hundreds of millions of Chinese, all off work, had nothing else to do but watching one of the country’s worst public health crises unfolding on their mobile phone screens. Every actor’s every action was scrutinized and commented upon by millions online. At one point, 10 million people were watching the live stream of the construction site of an emergency hospital, assigning nicknames to bulldozers and excavators.

....

The sealed-off megacity was also kept afloat by an advanced network of internet-based service providers and mobile-organized support groups that were both non-existent 17 years ago. It was Alibaba’s online shopping platform, Didi’s mobile taxi hailing, SF’s courier services and Meituan’s food delivery system that kept the basic life-supporting functions of Wuhan operating when all its public services were either stopped or severely stretched.

The Digital Radicals of Wuhan Guobin Yang (February 3, 2020)

After Wuhan was closed down, a genre of writing called “diaries in a lockdown city” began to spread on Chinese social media.

....

Internet censorship and control did not start now, but they look particularly cruel at this point. Many people are stuck at home after the city is locked down. They depend on the internet for information and to keep in touch with families and friends. We become isolated islands without the internet.

As a social worker and activist, Guo Jing tries to rediscover her place in an isolated city, to paraphrase the title of one of her essays. She explores the streets and the food marts in her neighborhood to see how the lockdown and the illness have affected the city. She talked to the street cleaning workers to find out about their lives. In her diary on January 28, she wrote:

I interviewed eight street cleaning workers, six women, two men. They work for about seven or eight hours a day. Their salary is about two thousand and three or four hundred Yuan, which is less than two thousand after tax.... Every day they could receive “84 Disinfectant” and reusable gloves. They had no disposable gloves and were all short of masks. The lucky ones among them may receive 20 masks at a time and can go back for more after using up. One poor guy received only two masks since the city was locked down.They are all very kind people. Some don’t have disposable medical masks, so they would use their scarves to cover their mouths. I had three disposable medical masks with me in case I might need them outside. I gave the masks to them …. I asked them whether they are worried. One big sister said of course. She was already living separately from her son and daughter-in-law. They don’t go out, and she would buy things for them and deliver them to their door.

See also the Jan 29 story by Zhong and Palmer: Wuhan's virus and quarantine will hit the poor hardest

I’ve been riveted to the coverage of the coronavirus, and very very aware of how much the U.S. media (and non Chinese-language media) generally misses in terms of the context and the nuance. There are major exceptions to this, such as Li Yuan at the New York Times (Feb 4, 2020)

So many officials have denied responsibility that some online users joke that they are watching a passing-the-buck competition. (It’s “tossing the wok” in Chinese.) The Chinese people are getting a rare glimpse of how China’s giant, opaque bureaucratic system works — or, rather, how it fails to work. Too many of its officials have become political apparatchiks, fearful of making decisions that anger their superiors and too removed and haughty when dealing with the public to admit mistakes and learn from them. “The most important issue this outbreak exposed is the local government’s lack of action and fear of action,” said Xu Kaizhen, a best-selling author who is famous for his novels that explore the intricate workings of China’s bureaucratic politics.

Those officials could often be corrupt, but even the party’s fiercest critics sometimes acknowledged that they got things done. Liu Zhijun, the former railway minister, is serving a lifetime sentence for taking bribes and abusing power. He also oversaw the creation of China’s high-speed rail system, which vastly improved life in the country.

Journalist William Yang has been giving updates on the coronavirus 

Chinese infectious disease expert Tseng Guang said in an interview that China’s disease control system only has the authority to collect and analyze data, and it is not a decision-making institution. He said that the disease control agencies play a weak role

Qingqing Chen has also been a key media conduit

Eight Wuhan residents praised for "whistle-blowing" virus outbreak Global Times (via Qingqing_Chen, Jan 30, 2020)

In an exclusive interview with Global Times' Editor-in-chief Hu Xijin, Zeng Guang, chief epidemiologist at the CCDC, said those eight residents should be highly regarded as they turned out to be correct about the viral outbreak, even though the information they spread "lacked scientific evidence".

The eight residents were briefly detained by Wuhan police after they circulated online "rumors" that cases of severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS), the viral respiratory illness that battered China in the spring of 2003, were detected in some of Wuhan's hospitals.

The residents were released shortly but news about the arrests angered many in the country as the novel coronavirus continued to spread in the country. Many termed that detaining the eight whistle-blowers as evidence of local authorities' incompetence to tackle a contagious and deadly virus.

Questions about a health care system that immediately was overloaded.

In Sickness and in Health Yangyang Chen, (Jan 29, 2020, SUPchina)

Despite a population of 1.4 billion, there are only a few million medical practitioners in China, most of whom have a bachelor’s degree or less. The problem of extreme shortage in qualified staff is compounded by the country’s size and uneven distribution of resources. Outside of first-tier cities and provincial capitals, well-trained doctors and modern medical facilities are few and far between.

Despite the overwhelming demand and staggering medical costs, the basic income for most doctors in China is relatively meager. Overworked and underpaid, many accept bribes to complement their salaries. With weak regulations and insufficient compensation for its workers, the Chinese government has incentivized the prevalence of “gray income” in the medical industry, a major source of public resentment.

Moreover, without adequate access to care or relevant education, the general public has a poor understanding of medicine, and can develop unrealistic expectations for its efficacy. A string of highly publicized scandals damaged the reputation of the medical profession, further sowing distrust between caregivers and their recipients.

Chinese Storytellers chinesestorytellers.com has also been a huge resource, sharing “stories about hospitals being understaffed and patients being turned away have prompted people to start online volunteer networks to help patients who have no choice but to quarantine themselves at home.”

And of course about the legitimacy crisis in Chinese politics

How Much Could a New Virus Damage Beijing’s Legitimacy? Taisu Zhang, January 29, 2020, Chinafile

THE TRUTH ABOUT “DRAMATIC ACTION” Da Shiji (达史纪) | Jan 27, 2020, China Media Project

But is it fair to regard this case of large-scale quarantine also as a “Chinese miracle” in public health?

...

Everyone must understand, first of all, that this epidemic was allowed to spread for a period of more than forty days before any of the abovementioned cities were closed off, or any decisive action taken. In fact, if we look at the main efforts undertaken by the leadership, and by provincial and city governments in particular, these were focused mostly not on the containment of the epidemic itself, but on the containment and suppression of information about the disease.

 Comic relief: Quarantine makes life better, MessyCow.com

[Quarantine makes life better, MessyCow.com

#coronavirus #wuhan #china #social media #elsewhere on the internet #journalism #health care

[kangsojeong]

Tonight I attended my first meet-up of Korean adoptees in Austin.

Towards the end of the evening, I admitted that I’d been nervous about joining the group for dinner. “What if I’m not Korean enough,” I joked, and the group laughed, as I unnecessarily explained how silly my anxiety was since we’re all Koreans alienated from our culture in early childhood. 

And they don’t fuck around. Within ten minutes of my arrival, we were discussing the injustice of immigration policy and Korean adoptees who were deported back to Korea and living on the streets. Shortly before I left, I’d mentioned the work I did at the suicide hotline. 

One man asked, “How did you do it?” 

“I drank a lot,” I said.

Another man then asked, not unkindly, “Were you dealing with a mental illness yourself when you worked there?”

So I was honest. I said that I was dealing with a lot of post-traumatic stress at the time, due to both personal history and vicarious trauma.

This is a group that is keenly aware of the risk for suicide among ourselves.

*

Daniel Wilkinson was two and a half feet taller, one hundred-fifty pounds heavier than Deming Guo had once been, with better English and shittier Chinese. Ridgeborough had made Daniel an expert at juggling selves; he used to see Deming and think himself into Daniel, a slideshow perpetually alternating between the same two slides. He wanted Deming to walk out of the building, for the two of them to do that little dance people did when they tried to pass one another on the sidewalk but kept moving in the same direction, over-anticipating the other’s next move.

I read The Leavers by Lisa Ko. I’ve never felt so represented in a work of art and the experience is...devastating? Life-altering? The splitting of selves, the lifelong management of disparate personas, the dual grief of one family lost to circumstance and another family lost to choice, and a reckoning with acceptance. The willingness to make ourselves miserable for both. Of a forgiveness that doesn’t forget but lies within reach anyway.

*

Last weekend I moved in with S. Since then, it’s been a strangely emotional week of reflecting on my past selves. I often recall the certainty I felt in my twenties of who I was and in the trajectory my life would take, a belief that my days had been divinely charted. A career in ministry, a husband, perhaps a kid or two to follow. I had no idea what transformations awaited me. And recently, those memories have provoked a fear of what transformations lie ahead of me, of all I don’t yet know, because betrayal and loss are the only prerequisites I’ve known to transformation. 

Lately, I’ve considered that I have been and am experiencing transformations that are characterized by possibility, by hope in something slightly more than survival. Evidenced in small acts that look inconsequential now but will join a greater narrative in hindsight, as all things do for better or worse.

*

I ordered a DNA kit in December and finally submitted my cheek swabs two weeks ago. The results, with potential blood relatives, should be available by mid-July. Father’s Day will arrive before then, and I think I will call my parents. I don’t know yet what I’ll say.

[waitingforminjae]

Why the shows treatment of Yin Fen bothers me

*spoilers for if you are not up to date with either the show or infernal devices*

In the show you are introduced to yin fen as if it were any other recreational drug. Izzy gets hooked on it and displays the typical drug addict symptoms: cravings, fever, jitteriness, ect.  She is shown to be addicted to it, she is willing to do anything to get more of it; she is shown to be a very typical, unflatteringly painted, drug addict.

This completely destroys and undermines Jem Carstairs’ entire character arc.

It is immediately established in Clockwork Angel that Jem is not a drug addict in the common sense. Yin fen is not a metaphor for meth or cocaine or any other recreational drug. It is a metaphor for the wasting, cureless diseases of the day, such as consumption or typhoid or something:

A hero […] who was condemned to die young of a fatal demonic illness, no matter how desperate the efforts were to save him, just as in reality victims of consumption sickened and died without penicillin(Forward of Clockwork Princess, pg. 4) 

Clare states it clearly herself, yin fen is not a recreational drug like the show made it to be.

By giving Izzy this plotline, they have ruined any chance of Jem’s arc making any sense at all. People would see that Jem is addicted to yin fen and not be able to understand why he can’t just kick the habit. It wouldn’t make any sense that the drug is killing him, turning his hair and eyes silver and paling his skin, because this very obviously not what happens to Izzy. Izzy isn’t dying, she just feels like she is. 

It is made very clear that Jem hates what yin fen has done to him. He hates that he must rely on it, he despises how it has stolen his life from him. And while he compares it to the Opium in China and himself to the addicts(thus offering a compelling metaphor about colonialism and racism):

The British bring opium into China by the ton. They have made a nation of addicts out of us. In Chinese we call it ‘foreign mud’ or ‘black smoke’. In some ways Shanghai, my city, is built on opium. It wouldn’t exist as it does without it. The city is full of dens where hollow-eyed men starve to death because all they want is the drug, more of the drug. They’ll give anything for it. I used to despise men like that. I couldn’t understand how they were so weak.

[…]

There was one thing they couldn’t fix, though. I had become addicted to the substance the demon had poisoned me with. My body was dependent on it the way an opium addict’s body is dependent on the drug.

(Clockwork Angel, ch. 15, pg. 339-340)

He also makes it very clear that the drug is more of an bastardized medicine:

After weeks of experimentation they decided that nothing could be done: I could not live without the drug. The drug itself meant a slow death, but to take me off it would mean a very quick one.

The yin fen is what keeps Jem alive, and he despises that. He wants to burn bright like Will does, he wants to live to grow old with Tessa(though not for her but that’s another rant). This why he throws it in the fire in Clockwork Princess, why he was taking less of it. He loathes relying on it. 

This is not the case with Izzy. Izzy, like most drug addicts, craves how good the yin fen makes her feel. She actively wants more of it. It is not a unavoidable and cruel medicine, it is a recreational drug. 

But the worst aspect of this is that it plays right into the negative and degrading view the other Shadowhunters have of Jem and further causes and creates Jem’s greatest fear. 

The books works extremely hard to make it very clear that Jem Carstairs is not a drug addict. It is consistently referred to as his illness, the other characters work hard to combat this kind of thinking in the novels themselves. This plays into the vilification of the Lightwoods especially, with Gabriel constantly saying awful and derogatory things about Jem:

“You’re a decent Shadowhunter, James,” [Gabriel] said, “and a gentleman. You have your–disability, but no one blames you for that.”

(Clockwork Angel, ch. 9, pg. 206)

“I think,” Gabriel said, “that perhaps you might consider whether jokes about opium are either amusing or tasteful, given the…situation of your friend Carstairs.”

Will froze. Still in the same tone of voice, he said, “You mean his disability?

Gabriel blinked. “What?”

“That’s what you called it. Back at the Institute. His ‘disability’.” Will tossed the bloody cloth aside. “And you wonder why we aren’t friends.”

(Clockwork Angel, Ch. 11, pg. 269)

Not only this, but the scenes during and after Jem retrieves Will from the Drug Den, are extremely telling.

When Jem drags Will out of the den, the reader sees him lose his temper for the first time:

“You did not have to come and fetch me like some child. I was having quite a pleasant time.” 

Jem looked back at him. “God damn you,” he said, and hit Will across the face, sending him spinning. Will didn’t lose his footing, but fetched up against the side of the carriage, his hand to his cheek. His mouth was bleeding. He looked at Jem with total astonishment.

(Clockwork Prince, ch. 9, pg. 195)

In this moment, Jem is so blindingly angry at Will, even Tessa observes herself how this was so utterly unlike him, because he feels as if Will is mocking Jem and his addiction by going and getting high on a drug when Jem is literally dependent and dying because of the yin fen.

“There’s no cure,” […] “I will die, and you know it, Tess. Probably within the next year. I am dying, and I have no family in the world, and the one person I trusted more than any other made sport of what is killing me.”

[…]

“He knows what it means to me,” he said. “To see him even toy with what has destroyed my life–”

(Clockwork Angel, ch. 9, pg. 200)

Because Jem has to battle against the label of a drug addict everyday, and his biggest fear is that he is just a addict, that that’s all anyone sees. He hates that label. Which, as seen, is openly talked about in the books. This is such a big deal that Will actually apologizes for it:

“I went to that den because I could not stop thinking about my family, and I wanted–I needed–to stop thinking,” said Will. “It did not cross my mind that it would look like I was making a mockery out of your sickness. I suppose I am asking your forgiveness for my lack of consideration.”

(Clockwork Prince, ch. 11, pg. 247)

Even though Will makes a point to never apologize about anything so that others will hate him. He apologizes to Jem for this thoughtlessness because he realizes how royally he messed up. 

All of this is totally disregarded in Izzy’s storyline. People entering into TID after watching the show will be confused and not understand how Jem is sick and dying and is not really a drug addict at all. In short, they will enter into the novels with a prejudice and misunderstanding of Jem, and see him just like the other Shadowhunter’s do: a weak drug addict.

tl;dr: the show totally ruins and misconstrues and mocks Jem’s character arc by giving Izzy such a typical(and utterly incorrect) recreational drug addict storyline and I am furious about it.

#i am irrationally angry abt this honestly #jem cartairs #shadowhunters #feel free to add on! #the infernal devices #tid #james carstairs #yin fen #tidmeta #b: dust and shadows #f: shadowhunters #mine #shadowhunter chronicles #the shadowhunter chronicles #tscmeta #tsc #i know that this is really assumptive and rude sounding probably #i know they didn't mean to #and that they could just easily name his drug something else in the theoretical tid show #but i just have a lot feelings about this #and i know most people will understand the difference with jem and not think all that #but the potential is there #anti shadowhunters

[yakumtsaki]

Well, well, well, look who’s back with the most morally repugnant update in Union history. Me. It’s been a very productive summer of Netflix, chill and giving wrong directions to tourists but all good things must come to an end. Also coming to an end is my ill-fated attempt to kill Max, who, after refusing to eat the cake FOR 2 FUCKING DAYS is finally released from the cage of death. Honestly, I’m impressed, Max, you’re definitely not as stupid as you look.

-Yea, I get that a lot.

I doubt that but whatever, now gtfo and I better not see your Komei-clone ass around Jojo ever again or it’s back in prison for you!

-So, Jojo, not that we’re not all extremely invested in the excruciating selection process of your husband, but are you any closer to picking one?? I mean I love this whole commune thing we have going but the constant food delivery for 8 is killing us.

-We’re afraid not, dear brother, it’s starting to look like no one in this world is worthy of our majesty.

Ugh are we really doing royal ‘we’ now? Is this what this has come to?

-Yes, college has really helped develop our sense of self-worth.

How can it be self-worth if you’re ‘we’?

-This is exactly the kind of idiotic questioning that would get you eliminated from the suitor process. 

Oh, perish the thought! And miss out on this classical-music-dick-measuring-contest you have them doing?

-Ew seriously, Francis, Vivaldi? Why don’t you turn up to Justin Bieber while you’re at it.

Man, what a zinger! Good times. JOJO PICK A FUCKING DUDE ALREADY SO I CAN MOVE THE OTHERS OUT THE LOT IS LAGGY AS SHIT

-I lost the dick measuring contest and my punishment is sleeping on the couch.

KILL HIM IN HIS SLEEP MELODY

-Maybe later, Real Housewives of Pleasantview is on, Cassandra is getting dragged for the pigtails!!

-Ha, look at this Vivaldi-listening losér! Point at him and laugh, everyone!

-Who’s laughing now, bitch? Not you with that hoof right in your French-whore mouth!

-Ugh, aren’t you late for the beans-on-toast feast, you limey piece of merde?

Not since the 100 Years War have French-British tensions ran this high. Of course that one was for a throne, while this one..

-Is for something far more important.. Our heart.

LMAO Jojo please be serious, you don’t have a heart.

-We absolutely do and it’s made out of pure gold.

Yea I guess, I mean gold is a metal after all! 

-Do you really think you should be eating decaying Chinese food, mon cheri? You’re going to need a soda to digest it and you know it’s too cold for your teeth!

-Wyatt, I don’t pay you to think, I pay you to sit across from me and look pretty, and occasionally to scooch down next to me so I look taller.

-You actually don’t pay me at all.

-Yes and obviously I’m getting my money’s worth.

Wow Jojo tone it down, your gold heart is shinning so brightly I’m gonna go blind!

Precious Gunther has added three new addictions to his existing sex one! A) working out in this atrocious outfit.

B) blowing bubbles from dawn to dusk.

and c) and the most disturbing one, constantly being alone in enclosed spaces with his brother’s intended, Brit Brit. At first I wasn’t too worried about it, thinking Brit is a popularity sim so it’s only natural..but then..

I SEE THIS. GODDAMMIT GUNTHER WHY MUST YOU HAVE CHEMISTRY WITH EVERYONE

-Man idk, it’s almost supernatural. Blame it on God ;)

UGH I don’t even know who I hate more, your whore ass-

-or this fucking llama that hasn’t gone home in 3 days and is eating all our pizza. 

-I just feel so accepted here, like I’m part of the family, you know? 

GET OUT

Speaking of furries, not even the cow will approach the fucking cowplant, jfc. I mean you’d expect some kind of kinship there but nop. Great job Jojo, you killed a dozen secret society members for a defective cowplant.

-Mooo :(

I don’t know which one of you did that but stfu, I can’t anymore with this flop ass household!!!1

ANYWAY back to Brit and Daniel, it seems like my Gunther concerns were baseless, since these two remain eternally into each other, always autonomously doing cute crap.

-Oh Daniel, let me serenade you with the song of your people!  

The kings made us drunk with fumes, peace among us, war to the tyrants! Let the armies go on strike, stocks in the air, and break ranks. If they insist, these cannibals on making heroes of us, they will know soon that our bullets are for our own generals  ♪

ROMANCE ISN’T DEAD

In other news, allow me to present you all with Melody’s personality panel. I was under the false impression that being the child of Wanda and Stephen she was.. nice?? But nop, total Union freak material! We hit the jackpot once again. Now her best friendship with bitch Brit makes total sense.

-Honestly girl, this janky ass house is such a step down from the sorority, I spend half the day thinking of ways to peace out.

-Ugh I know, I was on the fence at first but can you really put a price on good d?

-Aw, what are my beautiful hens cackling about? May I join?

-No.

-I was about to make a math joke but I doubt you gals would get it, amirite? As Barbie said, math is hard!

- I’m a literal math major.

-Oh I know, Mel, good for you! Affirmative action works wonders!

KILL HIM AND HIS HAREM WE DON’T NEED THE LAG

It’s another day in paradise. Daniel has finally cracked and gone full Komei, autonomously cleaning shit even though we have a maid..

Melody ate a ton of burnt grilled cheese and is non-stop throwing up..

AND THIS BULLSHIT IS STILL GOING ON. STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE

-What?? We’re just talking, GAWD

No you’re not “””just talking””” you’re gossiping and doing sexy whispers, I KNOW YOUR TRICKS GUNTHER-

-I don’t mean to interrupt but I think you’re focusing on the wrong issue here?

OH AM I?? DO TELL

-LOOK OUTSIDE BITCH

Nice try whores, nothing is happening outside-

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. WHAT. 

-That’s right, Ti-Ning and I are in love now!

............................FRAN THIS BETTER BE SOME DRY ASS BRITISH HUMOR 

-Nop! We got tired of waiting for Jojo and we decided the best way to handle it was to suddenly make out in front of him even tho we have never even flirted before!

THIS LITERALLY CANNOT BE HAPPENING

-Well it is, so best accept it and we can all move on :)

Oh yea certainly, I mean if anything Jojo is known for his ability to forgive and forget!

See the ghost of Ti-Ning indeed! Finally a wish Jojo and I share. 

TI-NING OMFG THIS LACK OF SHAME

-Haha!!! Finally I’m free to be as gross as I want >:) 

Well.. enjoy it while it lasts.

-The hell does that mean??

Nothing, just you know, none of us know when our time will come.. only that it will. The curse of human existence, one might say. Only we among the animal world know that we will die. Memento mori, Ti-Ning. And we will memento you. 

-..Yea, maybe it’s time I move out?

I mean, you can try..

..but like the curse from It Follows, it follows. It being Jojo. How you holding up boo?

-Oh, I’m great, can’t you tell?

You know what might help? Some of your beloved homework! Do something useful, get your mind off this stuff..

“Sending The First Human to Mercury and Leaving Him There: A Very Specific Space Exploration Proposal” 

-Jojό!! I’m writing about how I finally won your heart but please don’t look, I’m gonna read this at our wedding!

-Yea I literally couldn’t care less about you and your thoughts/feelings/etc, what was left of my heart is dead and gone and now there’s only a black hole there.. Oh we could also send Ti-Ning to a black hole if Mercury doesn’t work. Nice.

-UGH how are you even still alive and breathing the same air as me and not dead from shame like you should be, you vile adulteress???

-OH PLEASE you’re just mad cause Fran and I realized we can do better than your mega-jaw ass. If not for the endless supply of bubbles around here blurring our vision this would have happened weeks ago!

-I’m going to strangle you in your sleep and my jaw will be the last thing you see.

-Your jaw would be the last thing I saw even if I died on the moon.

-MAYBE YOU WILL

.....................well I guess it’s official then. And if the above didn’t seal it..

..this definitely did. God have mercy on me, what a shitshow.

While Tin and Fran are woohooing, Jojo attempts to end his troubles once and for all by running out of the house and into a thunder fire. Thankfully the rain puts it out quickly and all we’re left with is critically low hygiene. 

Man, serving Penguin teas! You have the entire look down, Jo. I’d tell you to audition for Gotham but that’s extremely bad career advice

-Oh god, I almost died!!!! 

Aw I know, but don’t worry you’re safe now <3

-No I mean I came so close but didn’t make it.. :(

Jojo please, if anything, live to kill Ti-Ning and Francis. You owe it to yourself.

As soon as Fran and Tin are done, guess who rushes in to gossip next to the bed. ISTG YOU ASSHOLES, BREAK IT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT THAT WINDOW

-Whatever, we’d just land on Jojo trying to set himself on fire.

-LOL oh Brit you’re so funny!

I HATE THIS HOUSE

-HAD FUN, DID WE YOU SLUT

-Get him, Jojό!

Honestly Wyatt, I get being supportive but I’m really starting to worry about you, even demeaning yourself has its limits..

..especially since Jojo continues to be a massive freakshow. Good lord.

-Oh Francis, don’t tell Wyatt cause you know how he gets, but your total disregard for my existence is making me see you in a whole new, hot, light..

Man, good thing Wyatt isn’t standing 3 steps away from you!

Oh yes, loving this dinner. An ocean between us..

-I wouldn’t eat that third slice if I was you, Ti-Ning. Your funeral day is fast approaching, don’t you want to look nice for it? 

-Well you’ll be there so it doesn’t matter, everyone will be looking at your jaw.

Yes, what a wonderful night. Now let’s all go to bed and hopefully everyone will have calmed down a little by tomorrow!

LMAO yea idk what I was thinking.

-Strangle me in my sleep? How about I strangle you in broad daylight???

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but.. poor Jojo. Not only did he get his ass beat, but to literally add insult to the injury-

-everyone is lusting after Gunther during his defeat. Jfc, I’d want to set myself on fire too.

Oh here we go, Gunther to the rescue! 

-How dare you beat up my brother even though he attacked you first? Prepare to die!

-Whatever, I’ve been preparing for that for the last couple days!

Aw, Gunther is such a good brother/giant loser depending on the outcome of this fight.

VINDICATION. Bravo, Gunther, defending our non-existent family honor!

Daniel, in true Daniel fashion, slept through this entire shitshow, which might be the smartest thing he’s ever done.

Oop, spoke too soon. Say what you want about Gunther and Daniel but man do they both love Jojo! Truly god knows why.

-So Brit, you’re studying poli-sci, can you think of a peaceful resolution to this? Haha!

-YOU STFU TI-NING MY FINALS ARE TODAY MY GPA IS ALREADY IN THE TOILET AND NOW IM GONNA FLOP CAUSE YOU ASSHOLES SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT FUCKING AND THE WHOLE DAY FIGHTING AND I HAVEN’T SLEPT AT ALL DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL I’M GONNA BURN THIS PLACE TO THE FUCKING GROUND IF YOU TRY ME

Well, you might not need to Brit! WHAT IS UP WITH THIS HYPER-FLAMMABLE CACTUS

Brit returns from her finals with a free pizza! How’d you do, Brit?

-Saved by the nightie again!

NOICE. Got a freebie pizza from it too?

-No, I found it in the garbage. My gift to Francis and Ti-Ning for their 3 day anniversary! 

Jojo’s official greek house portrait coming along nicely! Wow he looks very majestic..

..Instagram vs Real Life.

-Bowling is so satisfying if you pretend the pins are your former lovers’ genitals!

Whatever coping method works for you boo!

Gunther and Ti-Ning are officially enemies which is hilarious because not even Jojo is enemies with him?? Follow your bliss, Guns!

In an impressive display of brotherly synchronicity we have double slapping across the room. Double the slapping for half the time, Jojo is as always a true capitalist.

JOJO!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WON! So proud of my baby <3 I’m ofc kidding, this shit has gotten old really fast and I extremely feel Brit watching uninterested. ENOUGH  

HARD MOOD. Brit is honestly on another level than the rest of us basics. What an icon.

For some reason I bothered to fulfill Ti-Ning’s want to learn that relationship maintenance or w/e lifetime skill (talk about money down the drain) and the irony of this pop up text almost sent me to an early grave. And we know who’s going to an early grave today..

IT’S CAKE TIME. REACH OUT, TI-NING. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT

FINALLY. GOODBYE FIGHTING AND INSANE LAG

JESUS JOJO. STONE. COLD.

Ice Cube would like to say, that I'm a crazy muthafucka from around the way, since I was a youth, I smoked weed out, now I'm the muthafucka that ya read about, takin' a life or two, that's what the hell I do, you don't like how I'm livin well fuck you ♪

Wyatt and Brit were on their way to react to Ti-Ning’s little accident but somehow got sidetracked and are now randomly arguing on the porch. Honestly I don’t even know what’s going on anymore, I’ve lost all control of this household.

Jojo rushes over to celebrate Ti-Ning’s demise by immediately slapping the shit out of his grieving lover! Whenever you think we can’t possibly sink any lower, think again. Like right now, after the slapping, are you thinking we can’t sink any lower?????????????????????????????

THINK. AGAIN.

ARE YOU SCREAMING? CAUSE I DID

YUP THIS IS HAPPENING

IT’S REAL

IT’S. REAL. THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CURSE WORDS IN ANY LANGUAGE TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS

FUCK YOU FRANCIS. FUCK. YOU. YOU’RE GETTING MURDERED SO FUCKING HARD YOU UNBELIEVABLE ASSHOLE. I’M FUCKING DONE. JOJO YOU’RE GONNA DIE ALONE TIME FOR ALL OF US TO ACCEPT THAT REALITY. WE STARTED OUT WITH 3 CANDIDATES AND ENDED UP HERE. HOW THE EVERLOVING FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN FRANCIS AND WYATT HAVE. 1 BOLT. ONE. WYATT IS A FAMILY SIM I’M SO PISSED OFF I NEED TO TAKE A MOMENT

OK. In my 10 years of playing I have never wanted to quit without saving more than with this bullshit. Look at fucking Fran’s smug ass face and moron Wyatt putting on an Oscar worthy performance of shock and regret. YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE HOME WYATT. What the FUCK are we gonna do now???? I guess good thing Max Flexor survived the cage of death. GOD.DAMMIT

#ts2 #union legacy

[garywonghc]

Gratitude for My Torturers

by Phakyab Rinpoche

After escaping from a Chinese prison, Tibetan lama Phakyab Rinpoche travels to the United States as a refugee and is treated at New York City’s Bellevue hospital for a severe pain in his ankle that eventually turns to gangrene. In the following excerpt from his book, Meditation Saved My Life, the Tibetan Buddhist teacher recalls his admission to the refugee program and the different ways that he and his doctor view his torturers.

The interview with the psychologist for my admission in the Program for Survivors of Torture will last two hours. I know these two hours will stir up many sufferings — first of all, my present condition as a refugee. I have been greeted with tremendous generosity at Bellevue hospital. But at this point I have lost everything, including my health. The interview will also bring back the shameful denial of humanity that I was subjected to in Chinese jails. Not being human any longer, being reduced to the despicable dregs of society with a dismantled body dismembered by torture, humiliated by degrading treatments — how can I express all of this to human beings whose physical and moral integrity has never been trampled? It will feel as if I am attacking their intact humanity by displaying my own violated humanity.

I have never told anyone about my experience in prison, neither people close to me nor my masters. When I met the Dalai Lama after my escape, I did not need to describe to him my tortures. He knows only too well what goes on in the prisons of the Roof of the World. Without asking me any questions, he hugged me silently. Then he simply said: “Three months of prison and torture! It’s a terrible ordeal! But for others, it lasts 10 years, 20 years! It kills some!”

I understood then how important it is to put our sufferings into perspective, to not lock oneself in a painful past that indefinitely extends the ordeal. When that happens, we become our own torturer.

On June 17, 2003, in the office of the Program for Survivors of Torture, I am greeted by the psychologist, a smiling young woman with the blue eyes of a doll. Her manners are demonstrative and her kindness is conventional — both features of social relations in the United States of America. I have not yet gotten used to this in the weeks that have gone by, and I must seem very coarse to some of the people I speak with. Indeed, my culture is not very exuberant.

Although I can see this young woman intends to be genuinely benevolent and open to my story, a misunderstanding quickly arises between us as soon as I mention my detention and tortures. I will soon realise that Westerners easily indulge in victimisation. This explains their amazement, and their total lack of understanding, when I joke about the ill treatments I suffered in prison.

In her eventual report, the Bellevue psychologist will state: “Mr. Dorje’s affect was stable, however, it seemed inappropriate at times. For example, he was smiling, animated, and even laughed as he described his torture in detail and his survival.”

She would have better understood my feelings had I acted like a punching bag and expressed myself with the tearful language of complaint. Then she would have sympathised and undoubtedly shared my wailing, my indignation, my anger, and my hatred to­ward my torturers. During our interview, I got the impression that she was driving me into a corner and wanting me to accuse my tormentors. That was when I burst out laughing.

How can I take on a hatred I do not feel?

In fact, on that day, even if I was only a penniless refugee and a sick man with a gangrenous leg, I was not the victim. The victims were my jailers. I had left prison, but what about them? They were locked up in a vicious spiral that would hound them during this life and for many lives yet to come!

The psychologist did not understand that I laughed at the absurdity of hating those who had shown such hatred toward me. During my incarceration, I was often dumbfounded at the idea that people who did not know me, and whom I had never been harmful to, could relentlessly torture me. And I have meditated at length on karmic causality. What was happening to me was only the result, the consequence, of a negative spirit and negative thoughts that in previous lives had led me to injure and cause pain to other beings, both human and nonhuman. My torturers were not my enemies. The real enemy is not outside of us. It is to be confronted within us. It takes the shape of selfishness, attachment, self-cherishing. I was therefore laughing at how absurd hatred, thirst for revenge, and anger are. By laughing, I was hoping to relax the psychologist. But I only managed to make her tense.

Sometimes when I think of the bad karma built up by the People’s Armed Police officers who tortured me, I feel tremendous compassion for them. Moved to tears, I pray for them more than for anyone else. And I have completely forgiven them. It is only thanks to my forgiveness that one day, as soon as possible, I hope, they may free themselves from their infernal karma.

In appearance they were the torturers and I the victim. But in reality, we were all victims. I was their physical punching bag, and they were the victims of their own uncontrollable, destructive emotions. The actions they committed to ensure the meager sustenance of their families could lead them to the terrible torments of being reborn as hungry ghosts, hot or cold hellish beings, or animals . . . How can I know? I dedicate to them the positive energy of my praiseworthy actions so that they may find peace of mind at last.

While talking to the psychologist at Bellevue Hospital, how could I explain that the understanding of karma I developed in prison freed me from the unbearable burden of negative emotions? I thus feel gratitude toward those who tortured me. They taught me patience, unconditional compassion, and impartiality, more than have any of my masters. Every day, I express my wishes for them and offer them my prayers so that they may free themselves from mental states upset by hatred and anger. Has the psychologist in front of me ever heard about karma? I doubt that it was part of her studies. If it had been, she would express herself differently.

The law of karma implies that we must assume our share of responsibility in what happens to us. This is easier in the case of happiness and when positive developments occur in our life. But in adversity, I find a source of deep wisdom. It has allowed me to become friends with what I would otherwise deem bad and therefore reject. As it is said in one of the fundamental teachings I meditated on during my training at the monastery:

When the container and the contents are full of negativity, Transform adverse fortune into an awakening path. Use all immediate circumstances in meditation.

I have therefore fully accepted the idea that I created the causes of my detention through actions whose essence came to maturity in this life, and I am delighted at having cleansed these negativities. Such an attitude has transformed the way I see those who brutalised me with unimaginable barbarity. Through the sufferings they inflicted on me, they created the necessary conditions for my transformation. How can I not feel infinitely grateful to them?

#bodhi #bodhicitta #Bodhisattva #buddha #buddhism #buddhist #compassion #dhamma #dharma #enlightenment #guru #khenpo #Lama #mahasiddha #Mahayana #monastery #monastics #monks #path #quotes #Rinpoche #sayings #spiritual #teachings #tibet #Tibetan #tulku #vajrayana #venerable #wisdom

[kates-coming-home]

I had to repost because tumblr lost the other post??? Little fic idea I got from an anon sent to @minikate--24-05 about Toni the dog Word count: 1872 Pairing: kinda Kibbs "Gibbs I need help" Abby wheeled around on her chair facing her friend with a defeated look on her face. "Can you remember Toni? Well she needs a home because Ka-, after Kate, basically Toni needs a home and I was looking after her for Kates parents but they don't want her anymore, something about having a cat and too much stress getting her to their house. So she doesnt have a home and my landlord wont let me have a dog even though I begged him. I was going to ask Tony but it'd be too awkward, having a dog called Toni while being named Tony and Mcgee was that adamant he wouldn't be able to look after her and Ducky already has to look after his Mum and the Corgis and I doubt Ziva would take her so she has no where. But she really needs a home and she can't go to a shelter because if no one adopts her she'll be put to sleep and Kate wouldn't want that and even if she gets adopted she might not go to a nice-" "Whats your point Abbs?" Gibbs stopped the goths rambling, putting a caf-pow in her hand and pushing her chair over to the computer. He briefly glanced up at the drawing Kate drew of Abby as a bat but he felt his heart pang in his chest so he quickly averted his eyes. He still had her notebook hidden in his desk draw, and often caught himself flicking through drawings of the team with tears in his eyes. "Can you take her? I can help you look after her and stop by to walk her whenever I'm not at work, I just want her to have a nice home and you could give her that." "I don't really have time for a dog Abby" "Please Gibbs, if I could take her I would but my landlord said no and shes the sweetest little thing ever, you wont regret it. Kate would want someone she could trust to look after her. Plus I'd help, she already has toys and a bed and food so you wouldn't need to buy her anything. She could sit in the basement and keep you company when you work on the boat. Please, Gibbs." Looking into Abbys eyes Gibbs knew he had no choice in the matter. Damn the soft spot he had for his favorite lab rat. "Okay Abbs, but you better help me look after her" A sparkle came back in the goths eyes as she flung herself into his arms. "Thank you thank you thank you! I'll come round yours at 11 tonight to drop her off and give you all her stuff. I'll bring some take out food as well amd I can sit and watch you work on the boat" "Okay Abbs, now what have you got for me on the case?" Abby swung back round on her chair and pulled up fingerprints on the monitor. "I managed to pull some partial prints from the gun, but not enough to run through the system, but they have enough points so if you brought me a suspect I'd be able to match them. Now the bullet that Ducky pulled out of the marines body matched the bullets from the gun..." ~~~ Gibbs closed the casefile, glad it was a simple case that didn't require much paper work. Jealous ex-girlfriend that shot him after seeing him with his new girlfriend. He pulled his jacket from the back of his chair and made his way to the elevator, the rest of the team had left about an hour ago, making it quarter to 11. So if he broke some basic traffic laws he would make it home in time for Abby. He made his way out the building, wishing Harry a goodnight before locating his car and driving home. Pulling up he noticed the goths hearse was already parked at the other side of the street so he checked his watch. 2 minutes to 11, he wasn't late which was good. He climbed out his car and opened the door of his house to be greated by a high pitched barking at his feet. "Hey girl" he scooped the dog into his arms and carried her to the basement where Abby was waiting with chinese food. "Gibbs, I'm jealous! I've known you for years and you've never greated me like that but you warm up Toni on the second time of seeing her" Gibbs gently placed Toni back on the floor, patting her head one last time before straitening up and sitting next to Abby on his work bench. She passed him food and chop sticks before digging into her own food. "I already took Toni for a walk before I came over so she'll be okay untill tomorrow morning, you'll need to take poo bags with you, I put them in the kitchen along with her food and water bowl, I put her bed down here so she can keep you company while you work, but she liked to sleep in my coffin so if you ever go sleep in your actual bed instead of sleeping on your work bench she'll probably follow you up. You need to make sure theres water down for her all the time, and feed her atleast twice a day and walk her in the morning and night, but she'd be quite content to just roam in your garden I think." Abby threw a piece of chicken down for Toni who caught it before curling up next to Abbys feet. "You made the poor dog sleep in your coffin? And I know how to look after a dog Abbs" "I didn't say you couldn't I was just making sure you knew everything. Also her toys are in a box next to her bed, you might want to unpack them tomorrow morning so she has something to do while you're at work. Ill probably stop by tomorrow night to make sure she's settling in okay, Im gonna miss having her around my appartment" Abby put her finished takeaway box down on the bench next to her then leaned on Gibbs shoulder. "I miss Kate too" Gibbs put his arm around Abby, pulling her into a sideways hug, and discarded his food to the side. "I know Abbs, I know." He tried to pull up a tough facade for the sake of Abby but she saw right through it, turning sideways on the bench to pull her silver haired fox into a proper hug. She pulled back a few moments later and looked him in the eyes. "Im gonna go use the restroom quickly, I'll be back in a moment." With that she swung her legs of the bench and jumped down being careful to avoid landing on Toni. When she had made her way up the basement steps Gibbs stood up and made his way to the box of dog toys in the corner on the floor. Sitting down next to it he pulled the first toy out, a pink octopus, missing one of its legs and eyes, it's nose hanging on by a thread. Toni ran up to the octopus and stole it from the older mans hands before setting down in his lap and chewing on one of the remaining legs. "Hey little girl, I know my house isn't the most exciting place in the world, but welcome to your new home." Gibbs said in a soft voice, before noticing Abby had taped a picture in the inside of the dogs bed. Straining his eyes he noticed it was a picture of Kate, his stomach dropped and his heart squeazed tightly in his chest before he looked away. "I knew your Mummy you know, she was one amazing woman, and I loved her very much. You were lucky to have her for a Mum, even if it was only for a short time. Im sure she spoiled you, and I'll do my best but I'll never be as good as a parent to you as Kate was. She was always good with animals amd children, I can remember a case we once had, where there was a blind little girl that had been kidnapped, and Kate found her and looked after her so well. Kate always had the biggest heart on the team, and sometimes it got her in trouble but it was one of the best things about her." The little dog had fallen asleep in his lap, but he continued his ramblings anyway, glad to get some of it of his chest. "I still walk into work everyday and expect her to be sat at her desk, awaiting orders or annoying Tony. Tony was her team mate, she actually named you after him as a joke, but despite teasing him all the time I know she loved him like a brother. Did you know she once stayed with Tony while he was seriously sick, even though there was a chance that she would get sick too, she thought he was dying and if she got sick too there was a chance she would die, but she didn't care. Like I said, she had the biggest heart. Your Mummy actually died protecting me, and I'll never forgive myself for that, Im just an old bastard, a gloomy gus as she once called me, but she still had so much to live for. Promotion, starting a family, meeting new friends, but she gave it all up for me and I hate myself for that, it should have been me-" "Gibbs," Abbys sad voice broke Gibbs out of his trance like state. "Kate wouldn't want you to blame yourself, she gave her life for you because it was her duty to protect you, and I doubt she'd regret that choice" Abby sunk down next to him against the wall and snuggled into his side, gently stroking Toni's head who was still asleep on his knee. "Sorry Abbs, I didn't mean for you to hear that" "Rule number six, never appologise it's a sign of weakness" "I know, but you can make exceptions for friends" Gibbs placed a gentle kiss on the goths forehead, "It's getting late, you should go home and get some sleep" "But what about you? Will you be okay?" "I'll be fine Abbs, plus I have Toni here now to keep my company" "Can you atleast sleep in your actual bed tonight then?" "Sure Abbs, come on I'll walk you out" Gibbs gently scooped Toni up and placed her in her bed before offering a hand out to Abby. He followed the goth up the basement steps and watched her get in her car from his front door. When she turned to wave him goodbye he signed I love you before closing the door and walkimg back down to the basement. Toni had woke up again and jumped on his work bench, letting of a little growl when Gibbs reached for his tools. "Whats the matter girl?" When the dog nugged his hand with her nose he smiled, petting her head softly, "just like your Mummy then, knowing what she wants"

[hotshotshitshow]

my #1 asshole

Sevara Redoul

Basic Information

Full Name: Sevara Freyde Redoul Nicknames/Aliases: Sev Age: 21  Gender: female Orientation: shrugs. she doesnt care enough to define it. she does not experience romantic attraction often (and when she does would really rather ignore it and is known to lash out) and doesnt care about the gender/sex of a person she might have sex with. she likes sex with no strings attached. Species: human for the most part but she was originally a fantroll Birthday: November 1, 1995 Occupation: when she gets older she ends up running an art gallery. for some time she also runs the art gallery of a univeristy and is in charge of teaching the gallery exhibition classes. she also does tattoo and piercing work on the side. one of her first jobs tho was being the person who paints advertisements on the windows of businesses. Powers: incredible physical strength Living Family: Rizopa Redoul, Basira Redoul, Svinya Redoul, Elvita Redoul, Obyren Levine Hometown: Current Residence: 

Physical Characteristics Height: 5′6 Hair: black Eyes: dark blue (bloodcolor) Body Type: somewhat squat with a lot of fat and muscle in her midsection, hips, and thighs Distinguishing Marks: missing the tip of her right index finger down to the first knuckle Left or Right-Handed: right Quirks/Habits:

Medical Information Addictions: Aids/Augmentations: bad eyesight. wears contacts/glasses Allergies: Conditions: Physical Abnormalities: has an underbite Blood Type: Mental Illnesses: generalized anxiety Other Notes: None

Mental/Personality Attributes Known Languages: English Positive Traits: reliable/honest, insightful, seemingly extremely confident, strong (physically), capable Neutral Traits: self-aware, just Negative Traits: jealous, judgemental/unforgiving, hypocritical, stubborn, overreactionary Optimist, Pessimist, or Realist: Pessimist/realist Introvert or Extrovert: cusp Fears: being taken advantage of/being made a fool of, affection, never being able to better herself, melting/acid (espec that hokey kind you see in 50′s horror movies), jump scares, amusement park rides Secrets: that shes mega insecure but being how much she acts out and how macho macho she tries to be sometimes i think its fairly obvious to a lot of people. also that she is really really super hard on herself and battles a lot with anxiety.

Likes/Dislikes General Likes: art (espec of the 2D variety), winning fights/being right, looking her best, really lame jokes (she has a really stupid sense of humor), knowing she did something Good and Right, self improvement, anime/video games (KIRBY IS HER MAIN MAN. KIRBY IS HER BRO), collecting weird found objects and happy meal toys General Dislikes: hot weather, getting really sweaty, dishonesty, physical pain, sour food or anything that tastes really strongly of vinegar, losing fights/being humiliated, romance Favorite… Animal: rhinos, wild boars Color: stormy greyblue Food: BREAKFAST FOODS Music Genre: psychobilly, rockabilly, horrorpunk, garagepunk, 80′s pop Season: fall/winter

Relationships Best Friend(s): riz, basira, gyanav, quoia Other Friends: Acquaintances: Significant Other(s): Rivals: Enemies: Pets:

Other/Trivia Meaning of Name: Religion: Astrological Zodiac: scorpio Chinese Zodiac: boar Celtic Zodiac: Element: MBTI Type: Hogwarts House:

Personality:

Very judgemental of others, but in the sense that she judges you for your actions and behaviors rather than where you are in life or what you have (judges more based on character/personality rather than social standing, race, sexuality, gender identification, etc etc)

Finds first impressions to be very important. Tries to be a good person to you if you have her trust. If you do something that pisses her off she will never ever forget it (NOT the forgive and forget type. If you do something that pisses her off it’s extremely hard for her to let it go)

Totally the type to dwell on things too long and over analyze things to the point where things might be totally twisted around in her mind and aren’t really reality at all but continues to judge people and situations based on the conclusions shes come to in her mind.

Hypocritical like woah because she’s allowed to judge the hell out of you but if you have any issues with her then you’re stupid and she ignores you (she does try to better herself as a person, it’s only with faults that she herself sees. Or, lets herself look at. If anyone else tries to point anything out, they’re labelled as a busybody and need to go away).

still tries to be a good person, and doesnt see much wrong with how judgemental she is, she simply sees it as her being truthful. shes’s actually pretty decent to be around and has a really stupid sense of humor if you’re decent to her and end up getting close enough to her.

despite this, she still finds it hard to get close to others because she has a fear that if she lets her guard down too much, someone will make a fool of her. while still trying to be nice to people she cares about, she can still be physically rough with them (in a sort of affectionate way) and can still be kind of a bully

desperately wants to better herself as a person and wants to be nicer and less of a shithead, but its too scary to make herself that vulnerable right now. also half the time she doesnt realize what she does or says is wrong until way later (or if ever) and then feels like she has no control over stopping herself or improving.

she is absolutely the type to stay up late staring at the ceiling overthinking things and making herself feel nuts. she is a lot more critical and hard on herself and anxious than she would ever let on to anyone else, so dont tell anyone.

Charahub page (there is a lot of repeated word-for-word information here but there is some other stuff.)

#sev #loser palooza

[lesbianasf-ck]

All the questions😂 I love you

I love you tooo weirdo.

1. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 

No I do not, but working on it

2. Who did you last say ‘‘I love you’‘ to?

Myyy beautiful princess

3. Do you regret anything?

Yes, my old drinking habit

4. Are you insecure?

Yeah, I am

5. What is your relationship status?

Happily taken by my lovely girlfriend, engaged? married?

6. How do you want to die?

Ehm.. rather not die. But... I think age, rather no illness or shit. Just wanna live as long as I can married to my princess

7. What did you last eat?

Scrambled eggs

8. Played any sports?

Yeah. Volleybal, football, handball

9. Do you bite your nails?

I used to, not anymore

10. When was your last phsyical fight?

Pff... long long long long time ago

11. Do you like someone?

@lesbians-and-lyrics It’s past like. I loveeee you

12. Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Nope

13. Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Yes, a few. Others I strongly.. dislike

14. Do you miss someone?

Yes

15. Have any pets?

Yasss. My half kangeroo, rabbit, squirrel cat Joris

16. How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I’m feeling pretty damn good

17. Ever made out in the bathroom?

Yes

18. Are you scared of spiders?

Yes....

19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

No

20. Where was the last place you snogged someone?

I’ve no idea. Do Skype kisses count. If so, bedroom

21. What are your plans for this weekend?

Being lazy af, talking to myy girlfriendd

22. Do you want to have kids? How many?

I want 2 kids

23. Do you have piercings? How many?

Nope

24.  What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

High school: English, Dutch, Biology, Gym, German, History

College: American Studies, Communication, Grammar (First semester)

25. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah..

26. What are you craving right now?

I’ve been craving 2 things since I woke up: 1) My girlfriend here to cuddle and 2) I crave chinese

27. Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yeah...

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yes, few times

29. Have you ever made your girlfriend cry?

Yes... :(

30. What is irritating you right now?

My hair

31. Does somebody love you?

Yes haha

32. What is your favourite color?

Blue

33. Do you have trust issues?

Yes, but they have been way way way way better since Raegan

34. Who/ What was your last dream about?

Raegan; The moment she flew over to see me and I was an awkward mess and made horrible.. horrible jokes and ended up turning red af and she just smiling.

35. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My therapist

36. Do you give out second chances too easily?

Nope

37. Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive I think

38. Is this year the best year of your life?

Yeah. Ever since I met Raegan (beginning of 2017) She helped me turn my life around. I quit drinking, have grown a lot, I got into college.. so yeah It is the best year of my life. All thanks to my beautiful girlfriend, I love you

39. How old were you when you had your first kiss?

12

40. Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

No

Well it jumps to 51...

51. Favourite food?

Chinese... or Suriname..

52. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Yeah I do

53. What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Spoke to my girlfriend

54.  Is cheating ever okay?

Cheating is NEVER okay

55. Are you mean?

I mean.. I can be an asshole

56. How many people have you fist fought?

057. Do you believe in true love?

Yes

58. Favourite weather?

Not too cold, rainy.. just an Autumn day

59. Do you like the snow?

Yes, yeah I do. But we don’t get snow here anymore

60. Do you wanna get married?

Yes

61. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Boys: Eeewww No

Girls --> Raegan: Yesssssssssss

62. What makes you happy?

Raegan’s happiness

63. Would you change your name?

Nope

64. Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Ex: Yes, rather not

Raegan, Skype kisses: Hell no, bring me those kisses

65. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Say I’m taken

66. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you act your complete self around?

Yess

67. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

My brother

68. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My girlfriend

69. Do you believe in soulmates?

Yeah I do

70. Is there anyone you would die for?

Yeah, girlfriend

[clamonnaturalhealth]

Christmas is a season in which everything in this world seems beautiful and spiritual. The one who has not Christmas in his heart, he will never find a merry Christmas under any tree. Christmas is not only a season but a true religious feeling in which everyone around the world celebrates merry Christmas quotes for family. Today we have compiled some of the best funny Christmas quotes for cards which can be used to spread the joy. Thousands of people search for short merry Christmas sayings quotes which are religious and spiritual which can be used for sending to all Christian. Best merry Christmas christian card quotes along with greeting cards quotes are also posted. The season of peace, charity, love, prosperity, faith, harmony and many more has arrived, so start your new year with Christmas Season Quotes.

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.” ~ W.T. Ellis

“One can never have enough socks,” said Dumbledore. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.” ― J.K. Rowling

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” ― George Carlin

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

“I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.” ~ Harlan Miller

“God never gives someone a gift they are not capable of receiving. If he gives us the gift of Christmas, it is because we all have the ability to understand and receive it.” Pope Francis

“I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Christmas gift suggestions: to your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.” ~ Oren Arnold

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others.” Bob Hope

“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” ~ Erma Bombeck

Funny Christmas Quotes Christmas is a time for celebration and enjoyment so for such a special event we have selected the best ever collection of Funny merry Christmas quotes and sayings for family and friends. We know Christmas is a holiday and everyone gathers at one place for celebration and makes fun, so for sharing we have some funny Christmas expressions with captions. Most famous and popular quotations for Christmas are also provided.

Funny Christmas Sayings

Holiday cheer? Right here. These Funny Christmas Sayings will chuckle you up and cheer your cup. Funny quotations and free clean jokes for all the festivities. Injoy! Share your own Christmas Humor or feedback in the Comment box.

Funny Sayings:

Group 1

Zen Christmas: the gift of nothingness.

Why is Christmas like a day at the office? Because you do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa? – Bart Simpson (Matt Groening)

How is the Italian version of Christmas different? One Jesus, one Mary, and 33 wise guys.

Funny Christmas Sayings

Group 2

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. – Andy Borowitz

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. – Victor Borge

My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge. – Melanie White

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. – Dave Barry

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases. – Bridger Winegar

Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas. – Melanie White

I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking. – Earthman Adam ‏@AdamOfEarth

If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight. – A Guy Named Kelly ‏@kellysdf

Funny Christmas Sayings 

Group 3

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. – Winston Spear

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help. – Andy Borowitz

Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account. – Melanie White

This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones. – Guy Endore Kaiser

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. – Johnny Carson

I don’t mind fruitcakes. They’re the one thing during the holidays I’m not tempted to eat. – Melanie White

Jokes

Group 4

Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home. – Carol Nelson

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. – Dave Barry

A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t get into a single argument all day. – Melanie White

I’ve never really understood why Jews go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve, but I think it’s because so many Chinese restaurants have the word “temple” in their names. – Dan Zevin

Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp. – Melanie White

The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: “Some assembly required.” – John Leo

Merry Christmas

Quotes 5

The amount of time and energy we spend putting up and taking down holiday decorations tells me our ‘top of the food chain’ claim is invalid. – Linda in Disguise ‏@LindaInDisguise

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for twenty minutes. – Julius Sharpe ‏@juliussharpe

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. – Larry Wilde

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. – Kin Hubbard

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? – Conan O’Brien

If you watch a lot of infomercials, there’s a good chance you’ll already know how to work any gift you get from me. – Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

In the birth of Jesus story,  One thing we’re never told: What happened to the frankincence And myrrh, and all that gold? – Greg Tamblyn

Funny Quotations

Group 6 It’s the holiday season. Let the overeating begin! – Melanie White

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. – Bob Phillips

The Holidays are the one time you get to experience all the excitement of rush hour traffic in the mall parking lot. – Melanie White

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew’s Birthday. – Andy Borowitz

Merry Christmas, nearly everybody! – Ogden Nash

Original article by: David DeAngelo, the author of “Double Your Dating,” wants to wish you very happy holidays! http://www.funny-jokes-quotes-sayings.com/funny-christmas-sayings.html

Christmas Quotes; Merry Christmas Christmas is a season in which everything in this world seems beautiful and spiritual. The one who has not Christmas in his heart, he will never find a merry Christmas under any tree.