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calypsocolada · 9 months

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I FEEL YOU FORGET ME | akutagawa

synopsis: your forced to share a space with your enemy, akutagawa. authors note: i am sorry in advance. i was in a mood when i wrote this. loosely based off the song last kiss by THE taylor swift, also a bit of cardigan by miss taylor. i'm a swiftie i apologize. cw: blood, violence, suggestive, spoilers for s5 of bsd, kissing, ANGST, character death (apologies) wc: 5.8k

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You didn’t think you’d sleep a wink. Just beside you Akutagawa breathed softly, his eyes closed. It felt strange looking at him like this. His face wholly unguarded. His brows not furrowed in annoyance, or eyes squinted to shoot daggers.

He looked… peaceful.

You swallowed dryly, looking away. It felt like you were seeing something off limits. Akutagawa was your enemy, usually… but right now everything felt paused. Like outside these walls you two could go back to pretending to hate each other's guts but here, with the white noise of the tv and the roaring of the ac, your bodies close under the warmth of the covers, it felt… nice. Like a suspension in time.

A few nights ago the agency was attacked, it left everyone scattered. Dazai gave you coordinates and when you found a clearing in the middle of a forest you saw Akutagawa leaned against a rock. You two stared at each other for a moment. Heat and tension sparking. You never got along before. Akutagawa had attacked you on your first day with the agency months ago, he left you with a scar just on your cheek. A reminder of the fact you two were enemies anytime you thought differently. There were times you thought things would change. It wasn’t the first time you were forced to work with him and you were sure it wouldn’t be the last. Now you two were forced into a standstill and had to work together again just until the agency and the port mafia found their footing. Dazai gave you both clear instructions, you two were to wait things out in a hideout.

It was tense at first, there was only one bed and you two had to share. Akutagawa was a blanket hog and you figured it was because he was so cold hearted. The first morning you woke up you two had found yourself tangled in each other’s arms. It was embarrassing. The second night you built a bit of a fort between you both so you’d stay on your own sides. That night you stayed awake a bit longer than him and found out something you weren’t sure you should know.

Akutagawa has nightmares. Bad nightmares.

The kind of nightmares that spring tears to his eyes when he woke up. You pretended to be asleep when he woke because you thought if he knew you’d heard him ask someone ‘not to leave him’ he’d be embarrassed. You weren’t as cold hearted as him, you could use descretion. When you woke up that morning you said nothing as Akutagawa made breakfast and surprisingly shared it with you. He was a good cook and you wanted to thank him but things were still tense between you both. You wondered, besides being on opposing sides, what really made Akutagawa dislike you?

You blink in the darkness of the room, pulling your covers up more to shield you from the cold of the room. Akutagawa liked the cold, he had the ac on high. You were damn freezing.

“Please… Don’t.” Akutagawa's voice pleaded beside you. Nightmares again. You looked down at him, his once peaceful face was pinched in discomfort. You couldn't help but feel for him. The pillow wall between you both was forgotten this time as Akutagawa tossed and turned in his sleep, slowly shrinking the space between you both. “No… No, don’t,” His sleepy voice begged. You closed your eyes, settling down into the bed. You wished you could comfort him but you didn’t think he’d want that. You're not even sure why you wanted that. “Please,” You could hear the pain in his voice, the tears. You sighed, turning over, you knew this would end badly but you didn’t care. Slowly you reached over the space between you two. Your hand barely touches his shoulder when suddenly a black flash of his powers whipped out, slicing you across your forearm. You gasp in pain, blood trickling down your arm as Akutagawa springs up, his face wet with tears.

“Wha- what the hell?” He asks groggily, wiping his face harshly.

“Fuck!” You groan, stumbling out of the bed. The sight of blood has Akutagawa springing out of bed, clearly still half asleep because he’s grabbing you.

“What happened?” His features twisted with worry.

“You,” You growled, yanking out of his grasp and stumbling to the bathroom sink. Akutagawa blinks in confusion as he watches you run cold water over the cut, your skin paling to a ghost white. You were never good with blood. You blew out some labored breaths, tears welling in your eyes. For all your bravado you knew you needed to ask for help otherwise you would hit the floor unconscious. You grabbed at a towel and wrapped it around your arm, spots in your vision had you sinking down and sitting on the edge of the tub. You breathed in and out slowly.

“Not good with blood, hero?” You heard Akutagawa’s condescending voice in the doorway to the bathroom. You shook your head, knowing your voice would convey just how bad you were with it. You wanted to keep just a small bit of pride. You heard Akutagawa walk across the floor, bending down to look you in the eye. “Let me see.” He cautioned, your grip on the towel tightened, your eyes finding the floor.

“I can handle it.” You heaved, embarrassed at just how affected you sounded. Akutagawa scoffed a laugh and that made you look up.

“Don’t be stubborn, come on.” He said listlessly. You clenched your jaw and his stare sharpened, brows dipping slightly. You sighed, the adrenaline was starting to wear off so now you felt the pain in your arm tenfold. You pulled the towel off, instantly seeing the cut, blood trickling from the wound. You sunk backwards, as white as a sheet of paper. Akutagawa grabbed you before you could slump into the tub, his strong hands helping you stay put. “If I had known you were this bad with blood I would’ve given you a papercut months ago.” He quipped, his lips smirking as he helped you sit on the floor, leaning your back against the tub.

“Screw. You.” You sibilated, pointedly looking away from him and your arm. He inspects the wound carefully and quietly, his warm fingers keeping you grounded.

“It’s not that bad. Wait here. And don’t look at your arm, I dont wanna have to pick you up off the floor.” He says, slipping out of the bathroom. He’s back in seconds, you're still looking away. He works quickly, wrapping up your arm with care. Against everything you're glad he was able to help because god knows you wouldn’t have been able to. “Alright, you’re good.” He intones, you look at your arm and blow out a breath, letting your head fall back against the tub. Akutagawa pushes off the floor, running a cup under some water then handing it to you. “Here, drink.” You take the cup and do as told, drinking the entire thing. “Can you stand?”

“You cut my arm, not my legs.” You gripe, trying to push off the floor but you're still a bit woozy so Akutagawa ends up wrapping an arm around you and hauling you up. You let him hold you until you're steady and then he pointedly moves away like he’s noticed who he’s helping. You lean against the bathroom sink.

“What happened?” He asks, standing across from you in the small space of the bathroom.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing.” You blow out. “You attacked me.”

“I didn’t- I didn’t mean to.” He says and you look up at him, swallowing dryly. Tension sparked and you're not sure whether it was a good or bad thing. He breathes out as though exhausted. “I have nightmares and sometimes they activate my powers.” He says looking away from your eyes. You bite your lip, wondering if he’d snap at you if you asked what they were about. Your fingers instinctively run across the bandage on your arm and his eyes track your movements.

“I- I noticed.” You said and his eyes shot up to yours, you could tell he was embarrassed by the look in his eyes.

“You- don’t you dare tell anyone.” He growls angrily and you roll your eyes.

“I won’t.” You sighed. “What’re they about?” You ask, eyes cautiously floating back to him. He shakes his head, pushing out of the small bathroom back into the main room.

“That’s none of your concern.” He scowled. You take a few steps back into the main room.

“Okay fine.” You growl back. “Forget I asked.” You two both climb back in bed and he whips his powers out to flick the light back off. You sat in uncomfortably silence, both of you very awake. You sunk down into the covers and turned away from him. It was a fitful night but you finally fell back asleep after about an hour.

The sun shone brightly through the blinds like blades of light across the room. Your eyes slowly opened as you raised your arm up to shield them from the brightness. You blinked sleepily, stretching when you suddenly felt heat radiating beside you. You were facing away from Akutagawa who had, sometime in the night, moved closer to you, practically pressed against you. His breath tickling the back of your neck, his hand around your waist. In your sleep riddled mind nothing seemed wrong as you let your eyes fall back closed, feeling his heartbeat against your back. This was the second time in a row your guys sleeping conscious’ had drifted to each other. Your eyes shot back open at the realization. You carefully and quietly squirmed out of his arms, the warmth and comfort you felt moments ago slowly slipping away. You were almost out of his reach when suddenly he shifted, sighed in his sleep and pulled you by the waist back into him, resting his chin on the top of your head, practically trapping you. You almost laughed at the insanity of the situation. There was no way out, you had to wake him before his powers skewered you.

“Akutagawa.” You whispered not wanting a repeat of Rashomoun slicing you up again. When he didn’t move you tried again. “Akutagawa, wake up.” You hissed still in a whisper. He groaned softly and nuzzled into you, holding you even tighter. Some part of you twisted, something in your heart and chest. You were sure you didn’t want to know what that meant. One last time you said, “Akutagawa!” In just a slightly louder voice. He stirred awake this time, you felt him lift his head up and then suddenly he was yanking away from you, taking his warmth and the covers warmth with him.

It was extremely awkward the rest of the day so you took your book and sat out on the balcony. Only an hour passed as rain started to pour suddenly so you ran back inside, thoroughly soaked. Akutagawa had fixed something to eat and was holding two plates when you came in. He stared at you, cheeks blushing.

“Is that for me?” You asked and he didn’t meet your eyes. He just nodded his head and as you stepped forwards to take the plate he cleared his throat.

“You might want to change.” He says, you furrow your brow, looking down. Sure enough your white, soaked through, tank top was leaving nothing to the imagination. You didn’t say a word as you slipped into the bathroom and quickly changed. When you came back out he was sitting at the little table, your food just across from him. You grabbed out a bottle of wine and two glasses, sliding into the seat across from him. You silently offered him a glass and he nodded his head very quickly. You pour you both substantial glasses as you start to eat. The food was delicious, it was outrageous how good of a cook he was, especially when it was probably just something he had to heat up on a stove.

“How’d you get so good at cooking?” You ask into the dead space.

“It’s not hard. You just follow the directions on the back.” He says and you give him an exasperated look.

“If I cooked this it would’ve been barely edible.”

“That says more about you than me.”

“Screw. You.” You punctuated, taking a gulp of your wine.

“How’s your arm?” He asks and you caution a look at him but really he hasn’t met your eyes since he used you as a pillow. You turned it over and flexed your fingers.

“Think I might live.” You said and he reached across the table without a word, turning your arm over, you bled through the bandage a bit.

“I’ll have to change that.” He says, pushing to his feet.

“You can eat first,” you say but he ignores you and grabs some more bandages. When he walks back he kneels beside you and you blush heavily. He doesn’t say a word as he grabs your arm gently, undoing the bandages with precise movements.

“Are you wanting to pass out?” He asks, pausing his movements. You hadn’t noticed you were watching his fingers so you blush even more and turn away. He’s swift with his movements, gently dabbing on something that makes you jolt. “Are you okay?” He asks and you nod your head. He wraps your arm back up and tosses the old bandages in the trash. You swallow down a lump in your throat.

“Thank you.” You saw and he just gave you a small nod. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“My sister.”

“You have a sister?” You echo and he nods but doesn’t give you any more explanation than that. You start to wonder a lot more about him. What his parents are like, if they’re still around. Was his sister still around? Did he have any more siblings? You keep those thoughts to yourself and he sits back across you.

“She reminds me of you.” He says suddenly, your eyes snap up to look at him, thinking that he might look embarrassed but he’s still and relaxed as he brings the cup of wine to his lips.

“In what way?” You ask, watching him closely. He shakes his head, thinking better of something.

“Forget it.” He says, gulping the rest of his wine.

Later that night you both are laying back down, it’s quiet in the room but not super uncomfortable. Rain beats against the glass pain of the window by his side of the bed and for once he’s turned off the AC, opting to have the window open instead. You close your eyes listening to the rain, it’s soothing. It reminds you of home, you were so far from it, so far from anything familiar. Akutagawa shifts in the bed beside you. He built the little fort again between you two this time. It felt silly but considering how you woke up this morning it was probably for the best. You felt yourself slipping to sleep when you heard him mumbling again. The same thing. Pleading that someone doesn’t leave. You don’t reach across the space between you, you learned your lesson. You shut your eyes, trying to ignore it but his voice trembled like a kid and your heart lurched. Fuck it.

“Akutagawa.” You whispered. In the dim light you could see tears on his cheeks.

“Please— stay,”

“Hey.” You cooed a bit louder and he roused awake, jolting upwards. You sat up as well and he swiveled around, eyes scanning the room for danger.

“What? Are you okay? What happened?” He fired off groggily and you pulled your knees up to your chest, reaching over and grabbing some tissues. You hand it to him without a word. He grabs it, averting his eyes as he wipes his cheeks.

“I won’t tell anyone.” You whisper in the silence stretching between you both. You hear him suck in a breath, letting it out shakily.

“How long have I kept you up?” He asks, not looking back at you.

“Not long.” You answer, his hair is messy as he runs a hand through it, pulling it away from his face. “What do you dream about?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He says sharply.

“It might help too.” You say and he looks back at you, eyes like daggers. You're reminded just then that he’s Akutagawa, he tried to kill you, that scar on your cheek that you’d been ignoring all weekend was from him. You swallowed, steeling your nerves. “What? You can help me but I can’t help you?” You argue, raising your bandaged arm.

“I caused that.” He pointed out as if you’d forgotten.

“And you fixed it up.” You shot back. He sighs heavily, leaning back against the headboard.

“I really- don’t want to talk about it.” He said but he didn’t sound angry like you thought he was going to sound. He sounded exhausted.

“Okay.” You say softly. You both lapse into silence again. A comfortable silence.

“You should try sleeping first, so I don’t wake you.” He says, you clench your jaw, you wanted to argue, to pick his brain but you weren’t friends you shouldn’t care about what ails him in the middle of the night but you did and it was so frustrating. You slid back under the covers, pulling them up to your chin. It’s quiet for a few moments. “You snore by the way.” You hear Akutagawa say and a laugh bubbles up in your throat. Maybe he didn’t need to talk things through, maybe he just needed to distract himself.

“I do not.” You argue.

“Yes you do, hero.”

“Stop calling me that!” You call over your shoulder, yanking the covers closer to your body. He’d called you that since the first day you two met, you weren’t sure if he actually knew your real name.

“And you hog the damn covers.” Akutagawa yanks it back so you spin around to face him.

“You're impossible.” You groaned, the pillow fort destroyed in your guys tug off. When he pulled it back you huffed. You throw your head back in annoyance, scooting closer to him, he eyed you in the darkness.

“What’re you doing?” He asked.

“Relax,” You sighed. “I’m tired of playing tug of war.” You said, you were now inches from him, you could feel heat radiating from his body. Your heart speeds when he doesn’t answer you but instead slowly sinks into the covers. It’s dark so you're not sure if he’s facing you or turned away. You close your eyes and will sleep to find you. You inhale a shaky breath, slowly exhaling it.

“I can’t sleep with you breathing on me.” Akutagawa sighs as you clench your jaw.

“Shut up, I’m trying to sleep.” You hissed, shivering under the covers.

“Are you seriously cold?” He asks and you huff.

“Yes! I don’t know how you're not.”

“Maybe because it’s not cold in here.”

“It is! You’re just used to it because you're cold hearted.”

“Ah, good one, hero.”

“It was a good one.” You pulled the covers just a bit higher and shivered beneath them.

“For god's sake,” You suddenly felt warm hands grabbing you.

“Hey! What the-”

“Relax.” Akutagawa retorted as he pulled you flush against him, his arms wrapping around you. You're not even sure what to say as he pulls the covers and rubs his hands up your arms to warm them. This is all having too much of an affect on you, your heart races around your chest, your throat drying. You let out a shaky breath as you try to focus your mind on things other than Akutagawa’s hands on your body, on things other than your bodies pressed together. It was damn impossible. “Better?” He intones, her voice making you shiver. “Seriously? You're still cold?”

“It’s better.” You say quickly. For someone who freaked out this morning over something very similar, Akutagawa seemed damn calm. You could hear him swallow, his chin slowly resting on the top of your head.

“This stays between us.”

“Yeah.” You agree, your body moves of its own accord, settling even closer to him, basking in his warmth. When you thought of Akutagawa you thought of winter, of ice and snow. He always seemed far from anything sunny and warm. But you were wrong, so wrong. He was calm and quiet and warm, like a nice cup of tea on a rainy night. “Akutagawa?” You whisper. It’s quiet and for a second you think he’s fallen asleep.

“Hmm?” He hums.

“What’s your sister like?” You dare, you're already wrapped in his arms, you wanted something more from him.

“You want to know?” You hear him ask, his voice mellow and soft. You let your eyes drift closed.

“Mhm.”

“Or do you want to know why I said you reminded me of her.” He asked playfully.

“Both.” You say and you feel his arms slightly tighten around you.

“You’re very… caring. You care about so many things and you fight hard for the people in your life.” Your heart swoons at his words, you find yourself smiling.

“So you can be nice.”

“Don’t ruin the moment.” He says.

“We’re having a moment?” You ask, pulling your head back with a teasing grin on your lips. You underestimated just how little space was between you two, your face is inches from his. You feel his fingers flex, his lips parting in a held breath. “Akutagawa.” His chest heaves a breath in and you realize it’s not often that you say his name. “You know what I think about you?” You ask, you're not sure where your confidence is coming from but you let it take over. You hear him swallow.

“Nothing good?” He asks, his arms are around you and he thinks you only think bad things about him, it’s almost laughable.

“I think about you often.” You say and the amusement on Akutagawa’s face melts, his eyes intense on yours.

“Is that right?” His voice is like molten lava. You nod your head. It's suddenly too hot in here, your confidence is melting. You were hyper aware of every body part that touched him, how his fingers felt on your hip, you gulped, biting your lip hard. “Leaving me in suspense?” He asks.

“I’ll keep my secrets.” You say because you're not even sure exactly what you were going to say because to be honest you liked a lot of things about Akutagawa. His strength, the way he looked calm in the face of danger. You two worked together a lot, he was quick on his feet and a damn good fighter. You secretly admired him and a deep part of you wondered if you ever impressed him.

“I think of you too.” He whispers, just barely audible. You wonder if he even wanted you to hear that.

“Nothing good?” You joked, trying to ease the tension but it didn't work. Because his hand is sliding up your body, you feel his fingers smooth your hair back out of your face.It takes everything in you not to shiver, or to even more.

“Quite the opposite.” He demurred, his hand finding your cheek. This night had taken quite the turn. You found yourself chasing that touch, the pad of his thumb barely brushed against the corner of your lips. You're glad the lights were off because you were sure you were as red as a cherry right about now. HIs thumb pauses at the edge of your lips before he slowly drags it across your bottom lip. “You,” His breathing is labored, it sends a sort of jolt through you to hear how affected he is. “You’re hard not to think about.” He uttered.

“Akutagawa.” You crooned and the other hand around you pulled you even closer into him. He must’ve liked it when you said his name, liked the way you said it. Breathy and sweet. “We shouldn’t.” You wondered if you were being presumptuous, if this was somehow all in your head. His fingers on your cheek paused.

“Tell me to stop.” He coaxed but your words were flat, it was clear you didn't want that and if you said you wanted this all to stop you'd be a filthy liar.

“I- I can’t.” You confessed.

Slowly his hand slid to the back of your neck and the little space between you vanished. His lips brushed against yours, hesitant and sweet. You didn’t want hesitation or sweetness as you pushed forwards, your stomach sick with want. There was too much history, too much tension, it was so hot in this room you could barely think. You weren’t gentle like him, you wanted more, wanted it all. You enveloped his lips with yours and had him whimpering in your mouth, your fingers tangling in his hair as you sweep your leg over top of him, his hands sliding down to your hips, pulling you fully on top of him. You pressed against him, tugging his head to the side as you kissed the side of his mouth to his cheek then down to his neck, kissing at his open throat. His breath stuttered in his throat as you took control of the situation, pinning his body beneath yours. You kissed him breathless, your hips moving against his. He made a sound, a breathy mewlish sound beneath you and you melt. His fingers dug into you as you kissed your way back to his lips, muffling the whimper you caused. It was clear he didn’t expect you to be like this, to be so desperate to take control. But you couldn’t help yourself, something about him drove you mad, you wanted all the control. You wanted to be all over him, you wanted control but felt completely out of it. His arms wrapped around your back, hugging you against his chest as he pulled you to the side, your hip hitting the bed as he kissed at the side of your lips.

“You just can’t help yourself, can you, hero?” His words send shockwaves all over you. Suddenly you were being pressed into the sheets as he kicked his leg over yours, the weight of his body trapping you beneath him. It felt nice, the covers had been thrown off as cold air caressed your hot skin. He kissed you softly, pressed slow pecks to your cheeks and forehead as he trailed kisses to your throat. You swallowed, his hand sliding up to your cheek. He was gentle with you, the fire in your stomach learning to like that. He was handsy, his fingers trailing across your hips as you both rolled onto your sides, lips locked. HIs fingers threaded through your hair and he pulled back, breathless, lips kissed pink.

“I've wanted you for so long.” He practically pants and the confession has you hot and bothered because you felt the same damn way. You pull him back, his kisses growing desperate by the second. A phone rang across the room and before you could even think to react, Akutagawa's powers skewered the phone, the ringing stopping instantly.

“That-- could’ve been Dazai,” You sputtered, voice hoarse but Akutagawa’s lips cut off the rest of your sentence, he swallowed your gasp.

“Don’t stop.” Akutagawa murmurs against your lips.

You’ve lost the little bit of control you held as Akutagawa takes charge, his slender fingers grabbing at the meat of your thigh, driving his hips forwards, cutting off any rational thought you held in your head. You’d forgotten where you were, why were you in this bed? Akutagawa’s pressing his lips against yours, his tongue swiping against your bottom lip. Where was this hotel located? You open your mouth, letting his tongue slide in. He kissed you like a man starved. Were you waiting on someone to call? None of that shit mattered. Because you both wanted each other so desperately, your bodies curving into one another, a slim line of clothing the only thing keeping you apart. His fingertips trail down you back, slipping under your tank, warm as they touch you. One hand slides back up to your face and you feel his thumb trace the scar on your cheek, the scar he gave you. He pulls back momentarily, your breathing mingles with his. In the dark you can see the cogs in his brain turning.

“You gave me that.” You say, his thumb halts. Your legs are tangled together.

“I know.” He says and his voice sounds so remorseful it physically hurts your heart to look at him in this dim light. “When I saw you again after it, saw this,” He traced the scar again, carefully as though somehow after months it could reopen. “I hated myself.” He says. “I never-- I never actually wanted to hurt you. I wanted to hurt Dazai. You were just-- an extension to him.” You knew a little about Dazai’s past but not much. You knew Dazai was a sort of mentor to Akutagawa but what kind of mentor you were unsure.

“When you have nightmares you ask someone not to leave you,” You swallowed. “Are they about Dazai?” He didn’t answer, he averted his eyes from yours. That was an answer all in itself. You slowly pressed your palm to his cheek, your thumb gently caressing his cheek. “You don’t have to answer that.” You say, leaning and pressing a sickeningly sweet kiss to his lips, you feel him smile softly against your lips. And when you pull back he presses his forehead against your own.

“Forgive me, Y/n.” He asks, desperation in his voice. So he did know your name. How could you not? You nod in the darkness and let him pull you back against him, long fingers tugging the covers back over your cold skin. You cool off just enough, feeling your eyelids droop. He held you against his chest, his heart beating steadily in his chest as it lulled you to sleep.

Akutagawa listened to you snore softly, letting his eyes drift close. This would be the first night he went without the nightmares in years. There was something about you, something comforting that chased them away.

When you wake up you’re freezing again. You must’ve kicked the covers off in the middle of the night because they’re just barely hanging off your feet. You sit up, light assaulting your eyes. You feel the bed beside you but it's empty. You yawn, stretching as you push out of bed, stumbling towards the kitchen. It’s empty but there's a plate on the counter. You grab it, plopping down in a creaky wooden chair as you shovel food into your mouth. Suddenly the front door is kicked open and it scares you so bad you almost vault out of your chair. You turn and Kunikida is rushing inside, his eyes meet yours and he blows out a breath of relief. He’s across the room in seconds, you stand just as he throws his arms around you, cradling the back of your head.

“You scared the hell out of me kid.” He exhales, hugging you so tightly you can barely breathe.

“Sorry,” You gasp out, he doesn’t let you go for a long moment as your arms slowly come up to hug him back. “What happened?” You ask, he pulls back. Looking you over, he sees the bandage on your arm.

“Are you alright?” He asks, you nod your head. Kunikida brought you into the agency, he was like family to you since he practically saved you from death.

“I’m fine, it’s just a scratch.” You wave off. “Kunikida, did something happen?” You ask. He lets you go, but squeezes your shoulders, swallowing.

“A lot of somethings happened, too many to name off now. You need to pack your stuff.” He says and you nod your head, suddenly realizing what was missing.

“Wait, but Akutagawa-”

“That’s… that’s something we're going to talk about. Come on, kiddo, we gotta hurry.” He says but something makes you stop, unable to move. How long were you asleep?

“Kunikida,” He saw the look in your eye and his jaw tense. He runs a stressed hand through his hair and guides you back to the chair you were previously sitting on. Dread fills you. “What happened?” You insist.

“Dazai sent Akutagawa to keep an eye on Atsushi several hours ago. They were attacked, and Atsushi barely made it out with his life.” You blinked, unable to process things.

“Atsushi is okay?” You asked and Kunikida nodded his head, but then looked down, away from your eyes. “What about Akutagawa?” You ask. The quiet was the worst part of the whole thing, that and the sympathetic look Kunikida provides.

“I know you two never really got along but-- but he saved Atsushi in the end.” The air rushes right out of you.

“In… in the end?” You echo, your voice hollow. Kunikida bites the inside of his cheek, his jaw clenching. Just hours ago he was beside you, all warmth and life. You shook your head in disbelief. “Is he…” Your words fell from your lips and your voice stopped forcefully in your throat, tears springing to your eyes. Kunikida reads your expression and slightly cocks his head. That pain started from the bottom of your stomach and ripped through your chest.

“He was killed by the enemy.” Kunikida says and that’s like a final snap. The words to final, to visceral to hear. Hot stinging tears slide past your eyes rolling down your cheeks splashing onto your tank top. Kunikida doesn’t question your reaction, he just pulls your body against his in a tight hug. Your earth tilted beneath you.

“He was-- he was just-- here.” You forced out, choking on your tears. Kunikida held you even tighter as you spoke, probably trying to squeeze the hurt out of you. The pain aches worse than anything you ever felt in your life. Like some stabbed you in every part of your body and twisted the blades continuously. How could the first time you kiss Akutagawa also be the last?

You're not sure how long you sobbed but the rest of the day felt like a blur. Kunikida packed up your things. You couldn’t even stand. He helped you into the car and buckled your seatbelt. In the side mirror you caught sight of the scar on your cheek and the pain started anew. The scar was the only thing you had left of him, the only reminder, and even then it looked like it was starting to fade. You wouldn’t let it, you’d carve that same damn spot up time and time again.

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animeyanderelover · 2 years

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You can choose the characters! s / o and the yandere character are rivals, always competing to outdo themselves and exchanging barbs. At a certain point, someone tries to harm the yandere character and s/o is not happy to hear about it, going to get satisfaction from such a person, because regardless of being your rival, s/o will not accept such behavior. The yandere character finds out about this, what would his reaction be?

I'm fond of such requests simply because I get to choose. I tried to choose as many characters that I could think of who would fit in such a scenario.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, violence, manipulation, mean behavior, bullying

You're my rival so no one else can hurt you

Sasuke Uchiha

💙 Sasuke has troubles dealing with his obsession as it overwhelms him a bit and unable to express it any other way, he winds up being quite rude towards you. Sasuke has come to respect you though since you're next to Orochimaru one of the few people who can keep up with him looking on how you yourself are a favorite of this man. Of course he has to acknowledge your skills but your competitive and cocky strike is a small problem for him. You're too untamable and as the possessive and more controlling guy he is, that is a problem. Sasuke wants to establish at least a bit dominance so you at least know better than to leave and abandon him yet you refuse to do so. So instead of talking he tries to show his dominance in his skills and during training which always ends up being a bit more violent than necessary since both of you don't hold back. He forces you to tag along with him so he can keep an eye on you and when you piss him off he might lowly threaten you, Sharingan activated.

💙He's a traitor so many people seek out to hurt him though he is confident in his skills. Sasuke doesn't necessarily wants his darling to find out though, he might be a tiny bit embarrassed that someone got that close to him in the first place. Without a doubt he feels a bit insulted when you suddenly start being mad and swear that you'll hunt that person down to teach him a lesson. It sounds a little bit like you doubt his abilities which the prideful man can't have. At the same time though he feels a bit flustered since it also means that you are worried about him. He would never admit it but he sometimes wishes for you to show him that you care about him instead of constantly trying to outdo him. He's a bit smug the next time he approaches you since it's rare for you to be so protective over him, he'll probably hold it against you for a while. Don't misunderstand though, he's more than capable to kill the person on his own. He'll be glad to have you tag along though.

Katsuki Bakugou

💥He genuinely wishes that you two could just get along but your arrogant and provoking behavior coupled with his competitive side and short temper is only pouring gasoline into the fire. Maybe the fact that he is so cocky and boasts about his Quirk and strength just annoys you so he becomes the target of you. You're plenty strong yourself so that catches Katsuki's attention quickly and he's just as eager as you are to outdo the other one. Initially annoyed and pissed that he can't beat you, he learns with time that there are many people who are better than him and it's humiliating and also weirdly humbling. It helps him to appreciate this rivalry though since it's a chance for both of you to learn. Katsuki is lucid about his growing obsession but tries not to act rashly, becomes more worried when he hurts you. It's sometimes difficult though and he feels terrible when he yells at you. At the same time he almost feels a bit insecure, especially after realizing that he isn't the only talented person.

💥He gets himself in all sort of troubles, especially with his temper. He has his pride though so he's embarrassed when word gets out to you that he's been attacked by someone though only sustaining minor injuries. Katsuki would prefer to remain as a strong guy in your eyes, he has troubles showing you that he's sometimes more weak himself. Initially when you come to visit him, he doesn't want to see you out of a lingering feeling of humiliation. What are you thinking of him now? Your reaction shocks him though. You scold him sternly for being such an idiot before proclaiming angrily that you'll beat the living shit out of whoever tried to harm him since such behavior is unacceptable. Before you can storm out of the door, he stops you though by grabbing your wrist. He didn't expect this and is majorly flustered by your clear worries about him, doesn't even realize what he's doing. When he does, he instantly lets go though and turns around to hide his pink blush. Moron, you don't have to go after them!

Ayato Sakamaki

🥇Ayato thinks of himself as the best so knowing that you try to pick a fight with him is as insulting as it is laughable. Honestly you stupid thing, what are you thinking? You angered him though so he plans to properly destroy you and let you become the dirt under his shoes. Problem is that you don't back down even after he has given you a humiliating loss, instead you remain stubborn and continue challenging him and you're smart enough to choose areas that he isn't as good in. His strongest side is sport so you tiptoe around it though you still train to become better. Ayato is just so mean and rude, you want to push him down from his high horse. The lack of humilation irritates Ayato and your refusal to give up even more. He could easily kill you but he decides against it. No, he wants to completely destroy you at first, see you on your knees as you admit that he's the best. His obsession to beat you turns into something else over time as he turns worringly much possessive.

🥇Ayato is a vampire so him being attacked might have to do with it so he can't let you find out. You're only human, you don't know of his true identity yet. One of his brothers might have blown his cover a bit though since they know how he feels about you. The boy is mad when you express your worry for him, hisses if you think he's as weak and pathetic as you are even if he is deep down slightly flattered to know that you care. He wants to be worshipped a bit due to his ego so it's good to express your worries since it helps to awake the impression that you admire him at least a bit. If Ayato notices that you pay more attention to him and make a bit of a fuss about him, he will probably use the situation to his advantage to have you stick with him more often. Do him a few favors, bring him Takoyami and he'll quickly get over his aggressive attitude and be a bit nicer to you. He can't have you avenge him though since the person who attacked him might not even have been human. He'll torture them himself.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke

⬛The situation is complicated with you being part of the Port Mafia with a powerful gift yourself. Akutagawa is a dominant an possessive Yandere so the lack of control he has over you is angering. Your cheeky and teasing behavior even more, others might as well think of you as suicidal with the way you provoke him. Truth is that Akutagawa himself starts feeling like he isn't acknowledged just like with Dazai and it makes him mad since he starts feeling slightly insecure, starts feeling weak. For that he snaps all too easily as soon as you start your teasing, chances are that he even uses Rashomon out of impulse. He despises the small and painful clench in his heart since he admits deep down that you're very talented yourself. There is this fear to be abandoned again if you don't see him as worthy and this paranoia fuels his aggressive behavior. If you two get in a fight he is violent for the sake of showing you that he is stronger. Fear him, love him but don't leave him because you don't acknowledge him.

⬛Refuses to ever be weak in front of you so he probably threatens to keep it a secret as soon as he couldn't kill the one who attacked him. He fears that you'll look down on him. Obviously you'll hear from it since he is quite the known figure in the mafia and decide to not see him. That's fine if he wouldn't know but when Akutagawa gets to know that you are aware of it but didn't even come to check on him with his injuries, he feels on edge. On the one hand he doesn't want you to come since he doesn't want to be seen as weak but with you not coming he feels like you just don't even care about him at all. The boy doesn't even know what he wants and he probably plans on being overly rude if you do come but he is silenced when he gets to know that you plan to get revenge for him. There is a genuine confused and shocked look on his face before it turns into a scowl. He doesn't need your help, he has to kill them himself. He feels a bit better to know that you care but doesn't want to acknowledge it.

Akabane Karma

🔴Karma is most of the time a bit bored so having his darling constantly picking fights with him provides more entertainment. He really likes them a lot so if he can have their attention by just provoking them and being their rival, this is for now enough as Karma feels quite playful when with you. He might turn a bit sadistic if you really hold your nose high in order to teach you a lesson and humiliate him a bit. If you're a more respectful individual who respects him though, he'll do the same. There is no denial that sometimes he just likes teasing you to see you turning mad a bit, you're so adorable when you get mad at him after all. Keeping up with his intelligence is already something quite admirable so Karma at least doesn't look down on you, admits that you're quite formidable. The red-haired male is possesive though and pushes everyone away from you who might have an interest. He enjoys the world where only the two of you exist and won't let some other dumb shit interfere.

🔴He can't help but pick fights from time to time, you know? Especially if someone plays the high and mighty. You are aware of his mischievous and troublesome attitude yet can't help but be worried when you here about it. Karma plays it off like it was nothing though, completely relaxed even if he should have sustained some damage in the process. Karma is cunning though so when he realizes that you are concerned about him, he ends up using that fact against you. Of course he isn't against guilt-tripping you if it means that you spend more time with him, even if it is spend with him just teasing you and you being mad again. He'd be happy if you just end up being nice and gentle with him though even if he can't stop being playful with you for the life of him. He won't let you be involved in any sort of danger though when he hears your plans. You shouldn't end up getting in troubles because of him since Karma still wants you safe. So do him the favor and stay away or he might have to use some force.

Hashibara Inosuke

🐗Inosuke is a confirmed hothead so he takes on the challenges his darling throws at him daily. It’s quite the friendly rivalry the both of you have though since it’s already quite obvious that Inosuke has it bad for you yet he doesn’t even realize it for such a long time. He just knows that he wants to impress his darling, he wants to show how strong and cool he is. You can goad him relatively easy into training sessions with him as the thought of spending time alone with you is more than enough to motivate him. Inosuke is petty as well since he insists on always training and fighting alone with his darling since he gets territorial whenever someone else asks to tag along. The young man wishes to be the center of your attention and wants to be the only one you compliment when he’s beaten you in a fight. He thrives of your praise and gets jealous quickly whenever you praise someone else. Despite enjoying his training with you, he’s always surprisingly careful to not hurt you.

🐗The boy is mad that he let the demon escape who attacked him, is probably already busily proclaiming to no one in particular that he’ll go out and search for them as soon as possible. The moment you step in to check on him though, he’s busily gawking at you and ignores whoever is with you. Even if he should be hurt, he tells you proudly that it’s nothing. Inosuke is clingy and wants attention so he winds up manipulating you into staying with him for now, he blooms under your attention on him and is honestly just liking the fact that you show so much concern. He’s very touchy and definitely guilt-trips you into allowing him to do so. He bristles against your idea of going after the demon who hurt him though, you can’t go without him. Ever since he’s realized his feelings, he also realized how protective he is so he doesn’t feel safe with the thought of letting you go alone even if he knows that you’re tough. Also, that’s his demon to kill. You just stay back and be amazed by him.

Ichimaru Gin

🐍There are only few people who trust him and due to his unsettling behavior and appearance, even fewer dedicate their time to be with him. His darling is certainly a little but pleasant surprise in that aspect. Not even in his Vision yet they search for him willingly to constantly challenge him. He would have dismissed you a long time ago after a humiliating loss for you but you just keep on getting up again and again and constantly improve yourself, step over your limits. Gin appreciates that a lot since it not only serves as an entertainment but it also allows him to have excuses to see you when he becomes obsessed. Gin is strange though since he willingly allowed himself to become obsessed simply because the feeling was exciting and new. As much as he mocks you with his sarcasm, he occasionally does comment that you’ve gotten stronger and gives you tips how you can improve. It might not be immediately obvious but he appreciates your company since he tends to feel a bit lonely.

🐍Honestly, he is fairly amused about someone's attempt to hurt him though he guesses that he might have pissed of the one or other person with his attitude. Gin is someone who probably has someone informing you about what happened simply to have you rushing to him, seeing you worried over him is adorable and he just wants you near him. It's refreshing to see you fussing a bit over him like this since you're usually loud and boisterous. But now you're scolding the Captain for being so airheaded to let himself get mildly injured, scowling before you tell him that you're going to find the bastard who did this to him and beat them black and blue as punishment. He holds you back before you can storm out though, coaxes you instead to spend some time with him. He's been just assaulted after all, he could need your company. Whilst he is pleasantly surprised and thrilled that you'd go that far for him, he'd rather keep you out of his problems. Just continue to be so loyal and dedicated for him.

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