Tunesday 35
Also heard this week:
Baroness - First
Creeper - Sanguivore
Cult Burial - Cult Burial
Peter Gabriel - "This Is Home (Bright-Side Mix)"
Genesis - Calling All Stations
King Diamond - Abigail
King Diamond - Conspiracy
King Diamond - The Dark Sides
King Diamond - The Eye
King Diamond - Fatal Portrait
King Diamond - "Them"
Lady Luna and the Devil - Cold October Nights
Lucifer's Heritage - Symphonies of Doom
Mercyful Fate - Don't Break the Oath
Mercyful Fate - Melissa
Mercyful Fate - Mercyful Fate
My Dying Bride - Towards the Sinister
Prince - Graffiti Bridge
Rush - Rush
Sanctuary - Inception
Vertebra Atlantis - A Dialogue with the Eeriest Sublime
No point in dicking with the backlog any longer, since at this point it's just band catalogs-in-progress and a couple of standalones.
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Snap back
Make a cup of tea or coffee because this is a long one :)
The other day, I was watching the YouTube channel of a couple I follow. They just welcomed a baby, and the latest vlog was the woman showing her 3 weeks postpartum body, which looked unbelievably great, and for some reason, I felt a little uncomfortable while watching.
I asked myself, "why?" as I thought back to all the similar vlogs I’ve viewed. I think the postpartum vlogs that make me uncomfortable are the ones where the woman seems to be having a quick “snap back.”
“But why?” I asked myself, again. Then it dawned on me. Most of the women I know didn't recover as quickly as some of the women I see in vlogs and on social media. I think this notion and perpetuation of "snapping back" is detrimental to women, especially while they’re in such a vulnerable state, having just given birth.
In this particular vlog, the woman mentioned (multiple times) how she still needs to lose weight, criticized and pointed out areas of her body, including her stomach, even though her body was recovering, remarkably. This blew my mind because I was thinking "Oh my goodness, you grew a baby in your uterus, of course it’s still swollen! You just brought life into the world! Stop!!”
In my sensitive opinion, I think the conversation around postpartum should not be focused on a mother’s body and how fast she is, “snapping back” and I don’t think women should offer up their postpartum bodies for debate. These “snap back” vlogs and social media posts can cause women to be subjected to unfair comparisons by their partner, causing feelings of inadequacy and stress. Comparison shouldn’t happen, but I can guarantee it does.
Instead, the focus should be on mothers receiving an abundance of support from their partners and the trusted people around them in caring for a new baby, eating well, getting ample rest, feeling ease and calm, feeling confident in expressing the status of their mental and emotional health, and overall feeling extra taken care of.
I understand that for some women, the healing process happens nicely, and they feel good enough to exercise as soon as they're cleared by the doctor, and they're in a good space. I also understand that many women who give birth for the first time have been shocked to find out that 6 weeks is not entirely accurate for how long it can take a woman to heal because the dominant narrative is the quick “snap back.”
I'm so thankful and appreciative that more mothers are sharing their childbirth and postpartum journey and showing how different it can look from what we see on social media. Showing that it can be a long way down the road before you feel comfortable in your body again, or before that favorite outfit fits the way it used to.
Additionally, I’m grateful to all the women who are bringing to the forefront, important conversations about healing after having a baby. As someone who has yet to give birth, I want to know as much as I can about the process, keeping in mind that each woman’s experience is unique to her. Something that I’m surprised to only have recently found out is that before a woman even thinks about any sort of working out, she should first take care to strengthen her core and pelvic floor, and only after that, begin working out again.
Hearing and seeing different narratives are so important, because for example, I had no idea that Pelvic Floor Specialists existed until a couple of years ago. I also had no clue that so many women experience Diastasis Recti and when that is the case, they should absolutely not do any typical ab workouts because it will make it worse and most definitely cause setbacks and issues. Working with a Pelvic Floor Specialist is the appropriate procedure.
I’m quite stunned that the medical community does not do women justice regarding postpartum. Why aren’t all mothers given a proper exam to determine if she has Diastasis Recti? Why aren’t all mothers referred to a Pelvic Floor Specialist as a place to start after they’ve been cleared for movement? I’m not sure if insurance would even cover the cost of the Specialist.
If men were the ones to give birth, the postpartum period would be 6 months, not weeks and every sort of Specialist would be offered up to them, along with insurance covering it all!
Not only is 6 weeks an inefficient and unreasonable amount of time, in my opinion, for a woman to heal– it’s definitely not enough time for a mother to even begin thinking about losing weight or “snapping back.” I would imagine, she just wants to be able to sit and stand without being in pain.
The last point I would like to make, is that I don’t think men truly know how painful and traumatic childbirth and postpartum healing is. Even though more women are sharing about the realities of childbirth and the aftermath, I think so many more don’t share because their journey doesn’t look like what we see on YouTube and social media.
Not enough women are talking about how terrible it feels (I can only imagine) to have swollen and painful private parts, a swollen uterus, hurting when peeing, bleeding a river up to 6 weeks, in some cases, pain during breastfeeding and experiencing issues like Diastasis Recti. Now add on top of that, being expected to perfectly care for your baby, knowing exactly what to do at all times, enduring sleepless nights with little help in some cases, leaking milk and standing in a body that you don't feel comfortable in and can hardly recognize. Then add even more on top of that, being the main person your baby clings to for survival and support and fighting unhealthy thoughts about how your body looks like or what it will look like weeks and months down the line. Imagine how mentally and emotionally taxing it is to love your child and at the same time not like what carrying and birthing your child has done to your body. It’s A LOT!
Welcoming a baby into the world will always be a heavier burden on the mother and just straight-up unfair to her in so many ways. The “snap back” narrative just adds more unreasonableness and should be done away with!
*Shout out to the loving partners who play an equal part in caring for the baby and who help alleviate some of the mental and emotional stress that women experience during postpartum.
Where you can find me/how to contact me:
IG: wildlyplanted
YouTube: Wildly Planted (this is a work in progress, but I’m finding direction)
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we are only thankful for the tunes around here
I've been a little lax posting new shit, even on IG, so here are some recommendations
in 2020 i fell down some rabbit holes, and one of the rabbit holes was goth/post punk.
One of my current favorites is this band from Australia, Locust Revival. They began as a one-man project, but added two members last year. This is a brand new song, and one of their more shoegazey numbers.
I don't know how such a weird dissonant band can get catchier every album, but they do.
2023 has been grindcore year with so many bangers dropping, your fave may not even have the best record this year. (I'll show you the best grindcore record in just a minute). Atomck from the UK bring chaotic powerviolence with some unique vocal styles.
grindcore album of the year, right here.
there's been a sort of industrial metal revival in the underground, and if you ask me, Dome Runner are the stars. Combining Godflesh, Fear Factory (Concrete era) and taking it in a sludgy direction, they may have dropped the best EP of 2023.
My guy Marc dropped a new album this year. Instrumental bass and drums sludge doom, with tons of atmosphere.
Afterbirth's new album, which goes in some wild directions, more progressive than ever, while still keeping that brutality.
(I kind of have a guest vocal spot on this)
Garry Brents envisions an alternate universe where nu metal wasn't a mass produced major label creation in his new project Memorrhage.
hypnotic darkwave that gets stuck in your head for very long periods of time.
G.G. from Cosmic Putrefaction is back to take you on another journey. This time around, they venture in and out of some symphonic black metal.
. . .and I've hit my limit for audios in this post apparently.
bleh.
follow me on Instagram for more tunes, and also live vids I take so I don't forget what shows i went to in 6 years (since nobody has physical tickets anymore.
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