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olddirtybadfic · 21 hours
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"Down With the Blank Space" (a Disturbed/Taylor Swift mashup) would be the perfect soundtrack to a fic where Pinky is slowly becoming Dark Pinky after having met up with Snowball and the two of them start a very toxic romantic relationship.
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olddirtybadfic · 22 hours
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Anyone else ever think about shipping a grown-up Dumbo with a grown-up Hathi Junior?
Like, maybe Dumbo and his mom make it back to India after being freed from the circus. Dumbo, being a male elephant, leaves the herd when he grows up and joins a bachelor herd, where he meets Colonel Hathi and his son Hathi Jr.
Time travel might be required for this to work, but they're Disney characters, so just chalk it up to magic.
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olddirtybadfic · 23 hours
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speedrunning gay mice insanity any%
I have half a mind to write a silly ass songfic to White Town's "Your Woman" where Pinky and Brain have a rough patch and break up for a while, then Pinky falls into Snowball's clutches and Brain comes to rescue him to Blood on the Dance Floor's "Bewitched," then Pinky and Brain passionately make up to White Town's "Undressed."
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olddirtybadfic · 2 days
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Getting ideas for a Circe/Loki/Nervous fic....
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olddirtybadfic · 2 days
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olddirtybadfic · 2 days
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I would love to write while sitting at one of these with dramatic classical-like music in the background.
But I know I'm not worthy of the big adult writer desk. It'll be the kiddie card table for me.
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You don't understand, I want — no, I need one of these. My life will only be complete when I'll have a big, dramatic wooden desk.
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olddirtybadfic · 3 days
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Is this what they mean by "suffer for your art?"
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olddirtybadfic · 3 days
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mfw I find myself writing a scene in which Pinky is gleefully chugging a thimble of goat's blood because he's pregnant with a demon (who will grow up to look and act like Dark Pinky and probably try to seduce Brain while impersonating Pinky) due to one of Brain's world domination schemes while Brain watches in horror and fascination
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how many times will I inflict this Gabrielle's Hope-ass plot on a male character I like
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olddirtybadfic · 3 days
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You Got Played: Bandit Keith Howard Must Die Inside (Part Five of Five)
In which I turn a Yu-Gi-Oh fic into a cheesy teen movie (that most teens wouldn't even be allowed into without a fake ID).
Part one is here. Part two is here. Part three is here. Part four is here.
This fic contains: Teen!me laboring under the delusion that Bandit Keith is the same age as Yugi and company; song lyrics inserted into the prose; mpreg (bonus “even pregnancy of the male variety does not work that way” content); Bandit Keith being a prick; all the characters are kind of idiots; author’s notes to give track listings; cheating; terrible OC; terrible OC slut-shames Kaiba; Noah Kaiba somehow being alive and bizarrely invested in his brother’s romantic life; Yami/Atem is corporeal for some reason; artistic liberties taken with medical technology
-O-o-O-o-O-
Meanwhile, Kyra had her own plan.
Kyra didn’t care that Keith had sex with Kaiba; hell, she had cheated a few times, too. But for Kaiba to just steal Keith from her like that—that was completely unacceptable by her standards. She wasn’t going to let any trenchcoat-wearing, Blue Eyes White Dragon-loving freak steal her man.
So that afternoon, when she spotted Kaiba walking down the street, little brother in tow, she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into an area surrounded by bushes and trees. Mokuba saw her grab Kaiba and followed them.
“What the hell?!” Kaiba exclaimed. As Kyra stopped dragging him, he tripped and ended up on the ground. Kyra looked down at him as if she was an arrogant princess and he was a lowly peasant.
‘No matter what you do, He’ll never wanna be with you. He’s into what he’s got (and that’s me), He loves me, He loves you not.’ (author's note: He Loves You Not - Dream)
Kaiba got up, brushed his clothes off, and glared at Kyra.
Kyra had heard Kaiba’s outburst about Keith cheating. She didn’t appreciate Kaiba’s attempt to get his man back.
“What is your problem?!” Kaiba shouted.
“I don’t appreciate you moving in on my man,” Kyra said, evilly, yet seductively.
“What?! He cheated on me with you!” Kaiba retorted.
Kyra shook her head. “Kaiba, you’re so wrong, you’re right. Don’t you realize that Keith never thought of you as a boyfriend? He looks at you as a whore.”
“Don’t call me a prostitute.” Kaiba’s voice got low and threatening, which would be pretty freaking scary if he snuck up on you in a dark alley. “I don’t go sleeping around with everyone and I didn’t get paid for what I did.”
“Well, I’m not gonna let a whore like you steal my boyfriend just because your damn condom popped!” Kyra shouted.
“Well, maybe you should because I had him first!” Kaiba retorted.
“That’s a heaping pile of bullshit! I had him first! I’ve had him for a whole month!” Kyra shouted.
Kaiba’s eyes went wide. Kyra sensed weakness and went in for the kill.
“So, how long have you been dating Keith, Kaiba?” Kyra asked.
Kaiba said nothing.
“Come on, Kaiba, tell me how long you two dated!” Kyra pressed, still smiling evilly.
“That is none of your business, Kyra,” Kaiba growled.
“Why don’t I go ask Keith myself? I’m sure he’ll be happy to tell me how long you two dated. Or should I ask Noah? And he’ll surely want to hear what you did with Keith after he tells me, won’t he?” Kyra taunted.
Kaiba turned red. “Do not test me, Kyra.”
“Then tell me how long you and Keith dated, damn it!”
“We dated for two weeks. Then he started to ignore me.”
“I knew it! I knew he couldn’t have been with you for that long! He only stayed with you long enough to get in your pants, which, since you’re such a whore, obviously wasn’t long!” Kyra laughed evilly.
“Hold up!” Mokuba walked into the clearing. “I don’t know much about this whole situation, but it seems like you two are getting mad at each other for no reason. I mean, you didn’t know that Seto was dating Keith. And Seto didn’t know that you were dating Keith. It seems to me that the real bad guy here is Bandit Keith. He played both of you like Nintendo 64.”
Kaiba and Kyra looked at each other, in silence, for a moment. Finally Kaiba spoke. “What do you propose we do about it, Mokuba?”
“I propose that you play him back.”
-O-o-O-
A few minutes later, Keith was walking through the park when he saw the most repulsive thing ever (in his opinion).
Kaiba and Kyra were French-kissing on a bench.
“What the fuck is this?!” Keith shouted when he saw them.
Kaiba and Kyra looked up at Keith, then turned back to each other and continued kissing.
“Don’t you turn away from me!” Keith pulled Kyra off of Kaiba. “What the fuck are you doing with my girlfriend, Kaiba?!”
“We’re kissing. Couldn’t you tell?” Kaiba deadpanned.
“Kaiba, there are a million other girls in Domino. Why’d you have to choose my girlfriend?!”
“He chose me because we’re both tired of getting played by you,” Kyra answered.
“What?!” Keith tried to play dumb.
“Don’t act like you don’t know, Bandit Keith. You made both of us believe that we were the only one you were dating. You just wanted to get in both of our pants and feel like you were some kind of sex king for it,” Kaiba said.
“But why are you complaining, Kaiba? You know you liked it,” Keith said, trying to grab Kaiba’s butt again. Kaiba not only pulled away violently, but kicked Keith off of himself. Keith grabbed Kaiba and, before Kaiba could do anything about it, he began to kiss Kaiba on the lips. Kaiba pulled away and spat on the ground.
“You taste like shit!” Kaiba shouted.
Keith only laughed at this. “I love it when you’re nasty, Kaiba. You’re so sexy when you’re mad.”
“Then I must be really sexy now, because you’re really pissing me off!” Mokuba had to hold Kaiba back before Kaiba could cause any bodily harm to Keith.
Then Kyra turned to Keith. “Y’know, you’re a real pig. First, you cheated on me. Then, you tricked Kaiba into sleeping with you and you treat him like a cheap whore. Then you plan to dump him when he’s having your kid. Pardon my French, but you’re an asswipe!” Kyra shouted.
“Well, you shouldn’t be complaining either. You’re a whole lot hotter than Kaiba, so I’ll always come back to you,” Keith said smugly.
“Not this time, Keith! You know that little thing between you and me that’s called a relationship? Yeah, about that: it’s over!” Kyra shouted.
Keith’s jaw dropped at least two inches. Kaiba walked over to him.
“Bandit Keith, if you play with fire, you just might get burned,” Kaiba said.
-O-o-O-
After Keith had walked off, stupefied by what Kaiba and Kyra did, Mokuba, Kaiba, and Kyra shared a victory high-five.
“That was so great! You two really put Keith in his place!” Mokuba cheered.
“We sure did,” Kaiba said.
“Kaiba, I’m sorry I called you a whore. I didn’t mean it, you’re really not a bad guy,” Kyra said.
“It’s okay,” Kaiba said. “And I’m sorry I almost stole your boyfriend.”
“It’s okay, you didn’t know he was dating me.”
As Kyra turned to leave, she said, “And you’re not a bad kisser either.”
Kaiba blushed. “Thanks.”
Later that day, Kaiba was walking down the street, alone. He was happy that he had put Keith in his place, but he was sad that Keith wouldn’t ever want to be with him. A part of him hated Keith and wanted him to drop off the face of the earth, yet another part of him wanted Keith to come back and take responsibility for his actions.
“What am I supposed to do with his child? I can’t raise it all by myself,” Kaiba thought. “And why would Keith want to do what he did? Why would he just take my virginity, then dump me like that? How could I be so stupid?!”
‘How you gonna up and leave me now? How you gonna act like that? How you gonna change it up? We just finished making up. How you gonna act like that?’
Kaiba reached his home. He went up to his room and lay down.
‘How you gonna act like we don’t be making love? You know we be tearing it up, breaking stuff, and getting rough. How you gonna trip, How can you forget? How you gonna act like that?’ (author's note: How You Gonna Act Like That - Tyrese)
Mokuba went into Kaiba’s room. He found Kaiba lying on the bed, staring into space.
“I can’t believe Noah was right, Mokuba. I acted like such a pompous idiot. He kept trying to warn me and I wouldn’t listen,” Kaiba whispered.
“Seto, you’re not an idiot. You were just being protective of your boyfriend because you loved him. It’s not your fault that Keith was a low-down cheater. You deserve someone better than him, anyway, so forget about him,” Mokuba said.
“But how can I forget about him?! I’m having his kid!” Kaiba growled.
“Don’t worry, Seto, we’ll figure something out. Everything will be okay,” Mokuba said, hugging Kaiba.
Noah heard their conversation and entered the room. “Are you okay in here?”
“Noah, you were right. I should’ve listened to you when you said that Keith was cheating on me. I’m a jerk,” Kaiba said.
“No, you’re not a jerk. I didn’t want to be right. I just didn’t want you to get hurt. I only wanted you to be happy,” Noah said.
Kaiba’s exhaled heavily. “Thanks,” he said, starting to smile again.
“But you say you’re having Keith’s child. How can you break up with him?” Mokuba asked.
Noah took a second to recover from this shocking news, then he responded, “He can’t, Mokuba. I’m going to go to Bandit Keith and force him to take responsibility for what he did.”
“You can’t do that, Noah. He’ll only end up cheating again,” Kaiba said.
Then, Mokuba thought of something that changed everything. “What if it’s not Keith’s?” he mused to himself.
He didn’t realize that Noah had heard him. “What did you say?”
Mokuba realized that he had said it out loud. “Uh, nothing?”
“It’s okay, Mokuba, he’d find out sooner or later, and I’d rather it be sooner than later,” Kaiba said. “I did it with Yugi, too.”
Noah stared at Kaiba in shock. “Did it ever occur to you that it could be Yugi’s child?”
“No, it didn’t. Because I started getting the symptoms after I did it with Keith. It couldn’t be Yugi’s kid,” Kaiba stated.
“Well, just to be sure, I’m taking you to the doctor to find out,” Noah said.
Due to amazing advances in technology (and the fact that this is just a fictional story), a machine had been invented so an expectant mother could tell who the father of the child was. All they would need was a sample of Yugi’s DNA.
They had their sample; it was a few strands of Yugi’s hair, taken from Kaiba’s trenchcoat. They knew it was Yugi’s hair because it was tri-colored and they made sure it was Yugi’s and not Yami’s.
“I’m telling you, it’s not Yugi’s child. You’re wasting your time, Noah,” Kaiba said, as they went to the doctor.
“I just want to be sure, Seto,” Noah said.
After the test, the doctor showed them the results. “Seto Kaiba, I have determined that the father of your baby is Yugi.”
“I knew it,” Noah thought.
“I can’t believe it,” Kaiba thought.
That night, Kaiba reflected on the events of the day, as he lay in bed. He had put his cheating boyfriend in his place, successfully broken the news about his situation to Noah, and found out who the true father of his child was.
“But will Yugi even look at me after I ran off yesterday? I bet he’s already moved on. He thinks that it’s Keith’s child. He probably thinks I’m a freak. That Blue Eyes underwear was a little weird,” Kaiba thought.
As Kaiba drifted off to sleep, he thought, “Where do I go from here?”
-O-o-O-
The next evening, Yugi decided to go to the park to listen to music. It was a nice, quiet day. The setting sun painted the sky brilliant shades of red and violet. Yugi listened to his portable tape player, admiring the nature while running through the park.
Kaiba, who had decided to stop moping around the house and go outside, was walking through the park, too. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice the sunset that much.
It was getting dark. Yugi was wearing black as he walked toward Kaiba. Kaiba didn’t see Yugi and Yugi wasn’t really watching where he was going. The two ran smack into each other, knocking them both over.
“Oh, crap! I’m so sorry, Kaiba!” Yugi exclaimed, running over to help Kaiba up.
“Yugi, we’ve gotta stop meeting like this,” Kaiba said, smiling as he got up.
“I keep knocking you off your feet,” Yugi commented.
“In more ways than one,” Kaiba thought silently. He said out loud, “Yugi, I have to tell you something.”
Yugi looked up with interest. “So do I.”
“I love you, Yugi,” Kaiba said quickly.
Yugi stared at Kaiba. “That’s certainly different.”
“If you don’t love me back, I’ll understand,” Kaiba said, turning away.
“No, I do. That’s what I wanted to tell you. I love you, too,” Yugi said.
“Really?” Kaiba asked.
“Really,” Yugi answered.
Yugi and Kaiba hugged.
“Yugi, I have something else to tell you. I’m pregnant with your child,” Kaiba said.
“But, I thought it was Keith’s child,” Yugi said.
“No. I was wrong. It’s yours,” Kaiba said.
“Then, maybe we can get married,” Yugi said.
They sat down on a bench.
“Do you wanna listen to music?” Yugi asked.
“Sure,” Kaiba answered.
Yugi took out the tape player, put a tape in, pressed play.
As they listened to the music, Yugi remembered something that had happened in PE class. “Remember in PE when we had to learn the tango?”
Kaiba chuckled. “It was disastrous. The teacher paired us up and I was too tall to dance with you properly.”
“And I kept stepping on your feet,” Yugi added.
They listened to the music for a while. Suddenly, a song came on that got their attention.
‘Watch the band, Through a bunch of dancers. Quickly, Follow the unknown.’
“Our song is playing,” Yugi joked. “Let’s dance.”
“You think our dancing will be any better?” Kaiba asked.
“Well, I’ve gotten taller and I’ll try not to step on your feet,” Yugi said. “Let’s try the tango.”
“You don’t wanna do such a dance with me. I can’t,” Kaiba said.
“You’ll be fine,” Yugi said.
They began to dance. Kaiba was surprisingly good at it.
“You’re really good at this,” Yugi said.
Kaiba smiled. “Thanks, Yugi.”
They continued to dance in the final twilight of the setting sun.
‘Courage, my word, didn’t come it doesn’t matter. Courage, couldn’t come at a worse time.’ (author's note: Courage - Sarah Polley (I heard it in an episode of Charmed))
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: If you're going to two-time a guy, make sure he's not better at card games than you.
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olddirtybadfic · 3 days
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Invasion: The Day After (Part two of three)
In which teen!me attempts to write the aftermath.
Part one is here.
Content Warning: Violence; rape/noncon aftermath; character assassination of Buzz Grunt; depiction of the Beaker household as not being a den of unethical experimentation; Loki and Nervous are apparently adoptive brothers in this; attempted revenge; Buzz is ableist towards Nervous; attempt at depicting trauma responses
-O-o-O-o-O-
The next morning, Circe woke up early, an amazing feat, considering that neither she nor Loki had gotten much sleep the night before.
It’d taken Loki a while to calm down, but that was more than understandable, considering the situation. He’d accepted that he couldn’t take a shower until they went to the hospital to check him out. He didn’t like it, but he also accepted the idea that Circe wouldn’t be the only doctor examining him.
Then they’d settled into bed, thought they didn’t go straight to sleep. Circe desperately wanted to snuggle up to Loki, but after he’d rejected her embraces, she wasn’t sure how to go about it. It didn’t help that Loki lay there, stiff as a board, as if she were going to try to hurt him.
Loki hadn’t wanted to reject Circe’s advances. In fact, he was looking forward to coming home to his wife after that encounter. But every time she grabbed for him, he relived Buzz knocking him over and tying him up. Every time she tried to touch him, he felt Buzz’s hands on his skin. And then there was the pain and debilitating feelings of helplessness that followed.
He didn’t even notice how tense he was in bed until he saw Circe roll over out of the corner of his eye. That was right about when tensing his muscles wore him out and he fell asleep.
It didn’t end there. Neither Loki nor Circe slept for very long. For oe, Circe tossed and turned, thoughts of revenge on Buzz running rampant in her mind. Many of her dreams involved torturing Buzz, mostly by throwing him off the Beaker house.
In her tossing about, Circe would occasionally grasp Loki’s wrist and hold on. This caused Loki to awaken, screaming for Buzz to get off of him, no doubt because of some horrid nightmare he was having. His screaming woke Circe, who managed to calm him down. Then they were both back to lying in bed, with Circe not knowing what to do and Loki experiencing the living version of rigor mortis.
It got progressively worse until, as usual, Circe grabbed Loki’s wrist. Loki bolted up, screaming, but Circe, not fully awake and thinking, tried to push him back down into bed. Loki, also not awake, struggled to get away, still screaming. Circe was woken up by the second round of screaming; Loki was woken up by his own tears.
The only reason the two were able to get any sleep was because Circe gave it up and decided to spoon with Loki. That way, she didn’t toss, turn, and grab Loki’s wrists and Loki didn’t bolt upright or become reminded of the rape.
Circe looked at the clock: eight-thirty. Their appointment wasn’t for another hour and a half and the alarm would go off soon. She might as well get dressed.
The alarm went off while Circe was getting dressed. Loki reached a hand out from under the covers (somehow he’d gotten buried underneath them) and turned it off. He slid himself out from under the bedclothes and went to the dresser to get dressed.
As Loki dressed, Circe noticed, he kept his back to her and seemed to be trying hard to be inconspicuous, almost as if he were ashamed of his body. He’d done this the first few nights they were married, but he’d eventually grown out of it.
“Buzz really did a number on you, didn’t he?” Circe thought, half sadly, half angrily.
Circe looked across the hallway. She hadn’t seen Nervous all night. Come to think of it, she hadn’t heard him all morning, and he usually got up early. Today was his day off as well, so he couldn’t have gone to work.
“I’m sure he’ll turn up later today,” Circe thought. “He’s heard what happened and he’ll want to offer his support.”
-O-o-O-
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill your disgusting ass.”
Nervous was stronger than he looked, Buzz observed. And fast. He’d seen the boy coming and he still couldn’t stop him from pinning him to the floor, then wrapping his hands around Buzz’s neck.
“Are you off your meds, boy?” Buzz spat out. The hands around his neck gave a squeeze.
“You know damn well what I’m talking about. What the fuck were you thinking, violating Loki like that? What were you trying to prove?” Nervous never once raised his voice, and that made it all the more unsettling.
“Why is it any of your business?” Buzz spat back.
“It’s my business because it’s my brother. I don’t know how things are in your family, but I take care of my own.”
“Why would you bother? If you were younger, you’d probably just get taken by the Social Worker again.”
The smack was expected, but it still hurt. However, Buzz was able to break free from Nervous, which of course, resulted in Nervous diving at Buzz, trying to take him down again. Buzz was prepared this time. Soon, the two were lost in a cloud of dust.
Pascal Curious was taking a jog through the neighborhood. Today was an unusually nice day; it was usually too cold this time of year for a jog.
As he was preparing to sprint towards the Grunt house, he saw a huge cloud of upset dust. A few fists could be seen and occasionally a foot appeared. Pascal shook his head. No doubt Buzz was fighting with Loki, yet again. Pascal continued to sprint.
But when he saw a flash of blue-black hair, he paused. “It couldn’t be…”
As Pascal approached the cloud, he realized he was sorely mistaken.
In a flash, Pascal managed to separate the two men and hold them apart.
“You don’t know shit about my family!” Nervous shouted.
“I know enough to say they’re all a few tacos short of a combo meal!” Buzz yelled back.
“What has gotten into you two?” Pascal shouted.
“Why don’t you ask him?” Buzz retorted, then stomped off into his house.
Pascal gaped after him, then turned to Nervous. “Walk with me.”
Nervous obeyed.
“What the hell was that back there? You were hitting and clawing like you aimed to kill him! What did he do that was bad enough to warrant murder?”
Nervous said nothing.
“God, what were you thinking? He could’ve killed you—he may have been laid off, but he’s still a trained General! You’ve hardly even been in a fight! Nervous, are you listening?”
Nervous stopped and looked Pascal dead in the eye. “Pascal, he’s a trained General, but I’m the son of Death himself. I’d never use my powers to kill people, but if Buzz got too violent, I would not have hesitated to knock him on his ass. I’ve been trained to fight, by my father, and I’m pretty sure he trumps Buzz’s father. And murder would be letting him off easy after what he did.” Nervous then continued to walk away, forcing a dumbfounded Pascal to follow.
-O-o-O-
“Well, the rape kit results are positive, not that we doubted it,” Abhijeet Cho announced to Circe. He cast a glance at Loki in the adjoining examination room. The man was sitting silently, head down, legs pressed together, absently twirling the end of the white hospital gown he wore. “Poor guy.”
Circe smiled inwardly. Abhijeet and Loki fought like dogs most of the time, but at least they could feel compassion towards each one another.
After informing Loki of his options (which he knew very well), the Beakers set off for home.
Circe tried to make conversation on the drive home. “So, the good news is, you can take a shower now.”
Loki stared out the window, looking lost.
Circe tried again. “Should we pick up morning after pills at the store?”
Loki dragged his eyes to look at Circe and gave a weak shrug.
“We’re already home, you know,” Circe said.
Loki looked out the window. They were.
“Have you noticed the hospital gowns aren’t open in the back anymore?” Circe tried humor to get any kind of reaction from Loki. She got a twitch of the mouth that was meant to be a smile, but lacked joy.
This was good enough for Circe. She got out of the car and went inside, Loki trailing behind.
“Nervous! If you’re here, we’re home!” she announced.
“In here,” a voice from the study answered.
Circe walked into the study and gasped. Loki’s eyes widened. Nervous had various bruises and scrapes on his face, neck, and arms.
“What happened to you?” Circe asked. That many bruises and scrapes could only mean one thing. But Nervous never did that….
“It’s nothing. I just got into a fight with Buzz,” Nervous answered with a scowl.
Loki sat down on the couch next to Nervous. “Did he do anything to you?”
“Well, he hit me a few times—”
“No. I mean did he….”
Nervous stared at Loki, then shook his head. “No. But if he did, he would’ve needed to go to the doctor, too.” Nervous made a move to put a hand on Loki’s shoulder, but thought better of it. “I couldn’t let that bastard get away with what he did to you. I saw the condition you were in. I couldn’t let him get away with it.”
Loki sighed. “I understand. I just worry about you sometimes.”
The three were silent. Nothing more needed to be said.
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: Don't piss off the Son of Death.
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olddirtybadfic · 6 days
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Head canon about Pinky and the Brain
They're part of an experiment in society-building and civilization creation.
The scientists genetically altered mice to be more intelligent so they could study how intelligent animals build societies and civilizations. They had to use mice because it's illegal to run such an experiment with humans and rodents were the easiest for them to work with. There may be more genetically-altered mice (and other rodents), but Pinky and Brain aren't aware of most of them.
At some point in the future, the scientists planned to relocate all the intelligent mice into an area on lab grounds where they could figure out how to build villages and form some sort of rodent government.
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olddirtybadfic · 6 days
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So if there's a merperson (maybe with a seahorse tail), can they be vored on Friday or are they not fishy enough? And is it wrong to vore an mpregged merman? Or is it only wrong to vore them once they've gotten to the trimester where they're displaying seahorse mannerisms?
Also, if you vore mpreg seahorse Jesus, does he burst out of you like an alien after three days?
Tumblr is trying so hard not to let me post the funniest lent picture I've ever seen but I don't give up easy
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olddirtybadfic · 6 days
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olddirtybadfic · 6 days
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hey I have an idea
Jolene, but what if....
It's Julia
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olddirtybadfic · 13 days
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My first Dark Pinky Thursday and I post narfcest.
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olddirtybadfic · 13 days
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I agree.
(possibly gross elaboration involving elephants below cut, just to be safe.)
My favorite animals like to stick their trunks up each other's butts and eat what they find up there. While I, a human socialized into human society with human norms, might find this a little gross (and also pretty funny), I don't think it is immoral (and if you know anything about the digestive system of elephants and their general society, you could even argue that this is a necessary ritual for them). I certainly don't want to outlaw or punish elephants having a bit of an anal spelunking session with their herdmates.
It doesn't even lessen my liking for elephants.
You have to be at peace with the fact that not everything you find disgusting is immoral. There's no secret way out of it.
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olddirtybadfic · 16 days
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so I just watched a few videos of rodents in heat
they chased each other around.
they played "Chase me!"
tell me tumblr, what game is it that Pinky's parents play in that one episode that Pinky later tries to play with Brain
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