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kookingtae · 3 years

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falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7

→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.

→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)

→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!

Jungkook could never face Y/N again.

God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?

Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.

But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.

He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.

Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.

But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.

He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.

As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—

Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.

He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.

While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.

He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.

“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.

It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.

Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.

She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”

The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.

And so he stopped fighting.

“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.

Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.

“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.

“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.

Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.

And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.

Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?

The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.

He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.

At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.

Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.

He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.

The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.

It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.

“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”

He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?

She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”

As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.

You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.

But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.

“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.

Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”

“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”

You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.

“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”

You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”

Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.

A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.

You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.

But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.

Unless…

Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?

Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.

“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”

And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.

If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.

You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.

“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook scenario #bts x reader #bts scenario #i hope this is good enough for the time being!!! im sorry its taking me so long to get pt 8 posted #u guys are the best i love u <3333

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us-ugay · 3 years

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i think ive talked about it on here but idk if i went into much detail

along w those realizing ur sexuality AUs im also a sucker for time travel AUs because i just love history and differences between our modern society and previous historical societies i lose my shit every time but one of the near and dear personal AUs i have at the moment is time travel AU where a modern day arthur and an all american alfred who slowly fall in love in the intolerant and small minded setting of 1950s small town USA

adding a read more cuz i practically turned this bitch into a short story on its own

arthur, a 21-22 year old student researcher at berkley gets involved in an accident in the lab with an experimental time device, sending him back to 1951 (exactly 70 years prior to the day). while dazed and disoriented, he stumbles around for a while until alfred, a 19 year old baby faced server finds him on the side of the road as he’s coming back from a shift. alfred is just as naive as the town he lives in, so of course hes not afraid or concerned like arthur is and gladly extends a helping hand to this friendly looking stranger.

throughout the AU, alfred helps arthur on his feet in the town, gets him a job at the diner, brings him to meet his family and they grow to become best friends. alfred is ecstatic. he’s never met someone like arthur who has an entirely different sense of perspective than the rest of the people around him. he knows so many things that alfred can’t even begin to wrap his head around. he’s open minded and talks about so many new things that alfred hasn’t ever stopped to consider. arthur is so cool to him for reasons he himself cant even begin to explain, and he feels drawn to him. of course, alfred’s constant hanging around w arthur doesnt escape the notice of other folks in town, along w his family

arthur on the other hand, is now in an entirely new place and time with absolutely no way to get back. he thinks that maybe if he stays stuck in one place, someone would come back looking for him, even if it takes the folks in the future trying to find him a while. months after months roll by with nothing. arthur slowly loses hope. he’s been trying to blend in, not stick out in obvious ways. he isn’t any expert in history, let alone how society was even just decades ago. he doesn’t know what others know at this time, and how people think, so he feels completely out of his element. alfred, the eager and excitable boy who keeps helping him out and talking to him, is one of his only sources of comfort.

once a year, year and a half roll by, arthur finally realizes that no one is coming for him. he grieves over it, but comes to the conclusion that he has no other option but to make a new life here in the past. he starts to actually get involved in the town, make some friends, but he’s still the closest with alfred. they become virtually inseparable.

alfred, now having spent the last year and a half-two years with arthur, is starting to have some tension with his family over his place in life. his mom and dad want to see alfred settle into a career, get a house, and bring a girl home to them. his father in particular, starts to grow resentful towards alfred’s friendship with arthur, seeing it as a distraction for alfred preventing him from moving on in life. his mom is just tired of arthur becoming a de-facto new son at the table whenever alfred joins them for their weekly family dinners.

around the 2 and a half, 3 year mark, they hit a breaking point. rumors have been swirling around the small town about the pair, which have gotten back to alfred’s father. he begins to notice that despite his son being a mans man, tall and athletic and works on cars for a living, arthur is the opposite. he doesnt understand why the two spend as much time together as they do when they don’t have almost anything in common. he starts seeing arthur as a corrupting force in alfred’s life, and begins to try and deter alfred from seeing him. as alfred ignores him, he becomes more and more stern and demanding

arthur of course, can see what’s happening around him. he knows people realize that something is off about him. while he was in the present, arthur had no problem with being open with his sexuality. he was secure in himself and never ran into much issues when it came to it. of course he had struggles with internalized societal messages but he never had to deal with targeted bigotry outside of school yard name calling.

however, now is different. he can see people begin to leer at him on the street and hear whispers when he passes by the diner regulars. while he made sure to keep everything private, something must have tipped off everyone around him, and he sees the writing on the wall. he begins to work out plans to move to the bigger city if/when things escalate.

alfred, on the other hand, doesn’t quite understand why things have started to shift. he doesnt understand why his parents are suddenly so eager to see him bring home a girl when he himself isn’t interested in finding a girl. he’s only 21, much too young to be married in his mind, and it’s not like he hasn’t had super close male friendships before. and sure, he’s maybe had a few late night conversations while star gazing with arthur about how other men sometimes fall in love with each other, and how it was weird when he felt something flutter in his stomach when arthur couldnt meet his eyes throughout those entire conversations, but its not like he ever acted upon anything! how dare people be suspicious about him when he’s never done anything that would elicit suspicion?!

the pit in alfred stomach grows more and more each day while the rest of the town slowly becomes darker and darker. him and his dad can hardly speak to each other without it becoming an argument. the late night drives and talks with arthur begin to have an air of tension to them. even arthur seems more serious than usual. they’re parked at their usual scenic point thats overlooking the town where they often have their philosophical talks. arthur is just staring out ahead at the lights of the town, quiet, while alfred tries to chatter away.

while racking his brain to come up with something that could get arthur to talk, a thought crosses his mind. along with losing the town and his family if things keep going down this path as they are, he might lose arthur too.

alfred goes silent at the thought while looking at arthur. arthur, realizing alfred has stopped talking, looks back and meets his gaze. a few moments pass by.

alfred then leans forwards and kisses him.

its just a brief brush of the lips, nothing either boys haven’t experienced and yet, both of their breaths are held as alfred shifts back into his seat and they snap their eyes ahead out of the front wind shield.

alfred drives arthur home in silence, and drops him off at his apartment with a small see ya. alfred then goes home and settles in bed. he doesnt know what he’s feeling. his heart is fluttering and yet he feels sick to his stomach. he now understands why everyone is disgusted with him, and he feels disgusted with himself. the next day, he doesn’t visit arthur at the diner like he usually does.

arthur on the other hand, is dumb founded. alfred has always been curious about a lot of things. of course they talked about how men can be gay, but they also talked about philosophy and life and whether or not soviet russia is as bad as everyone says it is and what the moon could be made out of. alfred loved talking about the stars and would point out all kinds of constellations arthur knew nothing about and arthur in turn would explain to alfred about important it was to be empathetic towards the plight of people that movies and books and the radio didnt talk about. he never expected that alfred, handsome, friendly, perfect picture of 1950s americana alfred, could like men, let alone him. his heart soared as he went to sleep that night.

in the morning, however, the idea that he could just run off whenever the town inevitably turned on him now rocked him with guilt. he would have just left alfred without much fanfare. alfred helped him on his feet when he was alone and scared in a new world, and he would have just severed the relationship they had without regards to how alfred would have felt. he decided then that he would talk with alfred about what was going on and about his plans.

to wrap it up, the rest of the AU is arthur helping alfred work through his internalized homophobia and working on a relationship together as the town and alfred’s parents turns on them. they eventually do flee to san francisco, the closest big city where they would just be faces in the crowd. alfred learns to be in a relationship without set in stone rules and dynamics that he used to expect he’d have to act out one day, while arthur then has to grapple with keeping alfred in the dark about his own history and how he came to be in alfred’s life in the first place.

of course, arthur’s place in then-1958 is discovered by the lab at berkley through historical archives 👀 arthur then has to grapple a little harder about having kept alfred in the dark about everything, and alfred has to decide if once again, he could sever himself from everything he knows to follow arthur

#jesus christ i didnt mean to make this a fucking novel #ive been sitting on this AU for several months now so i had all the major story beats plotted out #but also damn wish i were a writer and could actually make this into something cuz outside of this post that took 2 hours to write #aint nothing tangible coming of tthis lol #uhh i named the other big AUs i came up with so i prolly should get a name for this for tagging purposes #hmmmmmmm #ill call it #back from the past AU #for now #we'll workshop something better maybe if i think about it #ok edit jk its now called #great pretenders AU

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if-you-built-yourself-a-myth · 3 years

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Check Ignition: Part III

That Sobbe fake-dating Hogwarts AU that one person asked for and I dove into headfirst

Part I // Part II // Part III // Part IV

Requests are open if you have any ideas of what I should write next

After the second night of Sander and Robbe’s arrangement, Robbe couldn’t eat dinner in the Great Hall for a week. A whole fucking week. He had Jens and Aaron sneaking sandwiches into the dormitory at dusk using cloaking and levitation spells. Lunch would have been an issue, too, if he hadn’t been spending those with Sander. Unfortunately, one meal a day together was the minimum for a convincing fake relationship.

“I can’t eat alone, can I?” Sander had asked when they met in the Great Hall after classes. “Boyfriends eat together.”

Robbe could do nothing but give in. They tried for dinner at first, and the following dissolved into lunch. Sander sat on the edge of the Hufflepuff bench, as if he were not welcome there, and held Robbe’s hand on top of the table while he ate whatever finger food he could and engaged in pleasant small-talk with Jens. He normally spent his evenings roaming the grounds.

Of course, that left Robbe and his friends at the table come dinnertime, watching Noor stare daggers at them. And that wasn’t cool. Britt’s ice-cold mannerisms at prefect meetings didn’t help, either, and only Senne could balance her out.

This month was going to feel a lot longer than Robbe imagined. If Sander didn’t find someone better.

Robbe was relieved when the weekend rolled around, because it brought with it Hufflepuff’s first game of the Quidditch season, against Ravenclaw. Jens made Robbe and Aaron run drills until one AM the night before. Peak physical condition was more important than sleep anyway.

Now, Robbe flew out over the pitch, one hand poised over his eyes to shade them from the sun. It took only a moment to spot the green and silver scarf in Hufflepuff’s black and yellow section, and Robbe knew that he didn’t really miss getting Great Hall dinners. So what if it was fake? There was Sander, in all his bleach-blond glory, sitting next to Senne in the stands and waving a black and yellow flag.

Sander locked eyes with Robbe and started screaming something incoherent over the wind. It was probably more about what people in the stands heard than what Robbe himself did, so Robbe soaked up the precious minute of Sander’s bright and happy face instead of paying attention to the message.

“Alright,” said Jens, gathering the other players closer for a pep talk. Robbe flew up a little higher to be level with the rest of the team. “Ravenclaw’s good. Great, even. But we’re better. Keep the Quaffle away from Zoë—she’s too fast and we’ll never see it again. Robbe, stop looking at your boyfriend.”

He wasn’t looking at Sander. He just so happened to be gazing the direction of the Hufflepuff stands.

The other team members muffled their laughter.

“Obviously, Yasmina,” Jens continued, unperturbed, “you are smarter and more capable than all of us. Please fix our mistakes.”

Yasmina played keeper. No one could protect a post like her, and the Ravenclaws knew it. There would be some faceoffs today. “Good pep talk,” she said.

“I try. Alright, I think that’s it. Let’s have an amazing match, no life-threatening injuries, no deaths. Go Hufflepuff!”

With that, the team shot apart to their differing positions on the pitch. Jens and the other chasers crowded the half line, Aaron and his fellow beater stayed back a little bit with bats poised, and Yasmina lounged sideways in front of the goal. Robbe decided to circle the game from above for a better perspective. The view reminded him of that from the astronomy tower. As play began, it was difficult to differentiate between teams swarming the pitch—a hurricane of bludgers and broomsticks. Robbe waited for the glare of the sun to highlight the golden snitch.

“Hello up there!” Yasmina called up to him, around five minutes in. Hufflepuff had pretty steady possession of the Quaffle. “See anything?”

“Not yet,” he shouted back. Ravenclaw’s seeker tarried by their set of goalposts. She hadn’t seen anything either.

“Is Sander really your boyfriend?” There was no judgement in her tone, yet somehow, Robbe felt it anyway. He curled into the defensive.

“Yes, and what of it?”

“Nothing. Just, Jana said so.”

“He’s gorgeous,” said Robbe, dropping twenty feet to do so.

“I didn’t know you were gay.”

“I’m not—”

The Quaffle almost made it through the smallest of Yasmina’s hoops, but she batted it away before it could cost a point. Jens grabbed her rebound and sped away down the side, passing back and forth with a fourth-year chaser they called Macs. Another minute, and a gong-like noise signaled a Hufflepuff score. They were leading thirty to zero.

“It’s great, really,” said Yasmina. “I’m happy for you.”

Robbe didn’t know what else to say, so he mumbled, “Thanks.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Sander’s unmistakable bleach blond move around. He whirled to the action. Sander was talking with someone, a brunette girl, with animated hand gestures. For some reason, it made his head buzz.

Yasmina followed his line of vision. “Who’s she?”

No one Sander wasn’t allowed to talk to.

“A friend,” Robbe said smoothly. “Watch the game.”

Sander could chat with anyone he wanted. It didn’t mean anything more than Robbe’s fake relationship with him did. Yasmina had the good sense not to push it.

The game passed at an alarming speed, no time to perseverate on anything going on in the stands, no time for any more casual conversation. Jens was a blur with the Quaffle, dodging bludgers and ducking under other players. Zoë was never far behind. The teams would have been locked into a helpless tie if it were not for Yasmina’s stellar guard of the goal. By the halfway point, Hufflepuff was ahead ninety to thirty, and not one sign of the snitch. Robbe busied himself by weaving in and out of the towers around the pitch, because he enjoyed the way the Ravenclaw seeker followed him around like a lost child.

He hadn’t seen a thing, and look at her go! Maybe he would nosedive to watch her streak beside him, or launch into the atmosphere with her along for the ride.

A bludger knocked into the side of his broom. “Shit, sorry!” yelled Aaron from his spot beside Macs.

By some bizarre luck Robbe kept his hold, but the impact swiveled him back to face the Hufflepuff section of the stands, and he’d been avoiding that particular sight. He didn’t have time to turn away again. Sander stood out like a sore thumb. No, better comparison—Sander stood out like a sunflower in a field of poison ivy.

Cool it with the similes, Robbe. Focus.

The girl was still around. Sander was allowed to talk to girls as much as anyone else in the world. Robbe was upset, though, because it messed with the believability of their dating life. That was the reason.

He swooped directly over their heads, hand outstretched, as if they were all too blind to see the snitch a few feet in front of him. Where the gesture came from, who could say? Ravenclaw’s seeker didn’t hesitate to join.

“The skinny bloke over there is Robbe Ijzermans, finally doing something purposeful this match,” Luca’s voice boomed from the announcer’s box. Robbe didn’t know her that well; Aaron had a thing for her friend, Amber. “He’s spotted the snitch. Or he looks like he has. Toss-up. Oh, and lovely Zoë has the Quaffle again. Give them hell, girl—”

What the hell. Robbe was supposed to be dating Sander. Sander was crammed into the Hufflepuff section for him. Really, it would be suspicious if he didn’t do anything about this.

He angled his broom to spin back around and make a second pass over the Hufflepuff stands. This time, he got so close to Sander that he could ruffle Sander’s hair before zipping away. Let Luca talk about what that meant. The girl scooted away from Sander on the bench. She stared at the wooden slats beneath her feet, while Sander put his hands to his mouth and called something that Robbe couldn’t quite make out over the rush of blood in his ears.

Then, a glint!

By the announcer’s box, there it was! He could see its golden wings fluttering about. Normally, he tried to tune out Luca’s long-winded description of the game, but it was a little difficult when her microphone boomed in his ears as he shot out for the snitch.

“Looks like our Robbe has spotted it now. Wonder what that bullshit was earlier, then. Sorry, sorry I’ll stop cursing. Oh, fucking hell—”

Ravenclaw’s seeker came in close on Robbe’s side. She seemed to be following his movements; she couldn’t see the snitch about fifty feet away from her face. Robbe did have 20/20 vision. Maybe he was just better. It danced around in the air and across the stands, forcing them both to flip over in order to keep the pursuit.

“Macarthy with the Quaffle, he’s headed toward Ravenclaw goal. If I’m allowed to mention this, I don’t think Ingrid’s actually caught the snitch ever—right, sorry.”

The snitch closed its wings and dropped from the air until it was barely above the ground, where it reopened them to cut a trail across the worn grass. And here was Robbe, pretty close to the other Hufflepuffs, still.

This was a risky move, riskier than the hair ruffle. But it was pragmatic, Robbe reasoned, and it got him to the ground as quick as anything else. If he ever wanted to convince other people that his thing with Sander was something, it had to be more than sneaky kisses that didn’t really count for much. Plus, Ingrid didn’t actually see the snitch. So no harm done if he just—

Robbe let go.

The freefall was shorter than expected; he kept one hand wrapped around his broom as if he were on the monkey bars at the park back home. His feet met the wood of the stands with a bit of a bounce. Right next to Sander. Thank goodness, because there wouldn’t be time to move over if he landed by the wrong person. He conjured the memory from last week, when Sander kissed him for the first time, and did the same, but briefer and with less tongue. Tongue would be a little too much for a game. The crowd roared. He could see the snitch spinning in wide circles just above the ground. Ingrid halted overhead, confused, and darted toward the Slytherin tower.

“Another point for Ravenclaw over here and—what the fuck, Robbe?”

Robbe broke away before the kiss could take too long, and Sander leaned inward after him, as if he did not want it to end. Spectacular acting. Noor stood up from her seat three rows down, their eyes meeting for the shortest of seconds.

Before he could regret the whole thing, Robbe gathered up his last bit of courage and bounded down the stands on his feet instead of flying, making quite the jump at the end. He barely got his broom underneath him in time to evade a broken ankle on the pitch underneath the stands. Macs swerved to avoid him as his feet grazed the grass.

He coasted the rest of the chase on the adrenaline pumping through his veins and the absolute shock on Noor’s face. In no way did Sander’s cutting smile make him weak, no way.

“Guys and gals, take notes,” Luca declared. “Oh, and he’s got it, that son of a— Robbe has the snitch! Hufflepuff wins!”

***

Jens was on Robbe before he’d even dismounted his broom. “The fuck is with the grandstanding, huh?” he demanded. “You could have hurt somebody. You could have lost us the game. What the fuck?”

“Sorry, I was—” Robbe tore his gaze away at the sound of Sander’s voice coming down from the stands.

Sander caught him in a hug and brushed his lips along the edge of his ear, whispering, “How dramatic do you want this to be?” Skin peeled from his chapped lips and beads of sweat caught the light on his forehead. He was still a Greek god.

“I don’t know,” said Robbe, barely keeping his composure. “You can—”

He cut off as Sander scooped him up and spun him around in a circle. At its end, Sander lowered Robbe enough to draw him into a long, deep kiss. If Robbe could do wordless magic, every tree within a fifty-mile radius would have caught fire and burned to ash in a second.

He had to stop indulging thoughts like that. Noor stood by the entrance to the stands, and this was all for her. Just Sander helping him out.

“Gross,” said Aaron, patting Robbe on the back. “Get a room.”

“Gladly,” Sander said. “How long before Jens tries to get back to the dorms?”

“Oi!” Jens wasn’t done being angry with Robbe yet. “You’re not having sex on my bed!”

“Somebody has to, and you certainly aren’t.”

“Wow, okay. You’re not even—” Jens cut off. They’d promised to play along. “You’re new here, shut up.”

Sander accepted gracefully.

The other fans swarmed the players like flies and followed them on the way back to the dormitories, where Hufflepuff common room would likely host a killer party to celebrate the win. Robbe lost Sander in the fray almost immediately, even though their hands had been intertwined. He should let the group carry him along; he knew as much. Now that the game was over, though, there wasn’t any energy left for something like that. Robbe sat down on the pitch and leaned against the wooden supports of Hufflepuff’s box.

He wasn’t gay. He didn’t like Sander, not like that.

There must be loads of straight guys who felt good when they kissed other guys.

It didn’t mean anything. The whole relationship was fake.

Why wouldn’t his heart stop racing?

He breathed in until his lungs burned, held it for eight seconds, and exhaled until there was nothing left in his lungs. When that was done, things were calmer. More rational. His lips stung from the kisses.

This was not the time for a sexuality crisis. Tomorrow morning, maybe, or Tuesday afternoon.

The crowd’s cheers and banter faded off into the distance. The last straggling fans stumbled their way to the castle. It would be dusk soon, and the sunlight painted everything a delicious shade of gold. Robbe couldn’t help but fantasize: Sander in the sun like this, Sander’s eyes in the sun like this, Sander’s long eyelashes in the sun like this. He hated himself a little bit.

“Hey.”

Robbe looked up. Noor stood a few feet away, wearing a Hufflepuff sweater and a pair of sweatpants. The late November temperatures were no joke.

“Hello,” he replied.

“I thought you’d be upstairs.”

I thought you’d leave me alone, he thought. He said, “Catching my breath.”

“It’s a good night tonight. Lots of stars.”

“They’re around every night.”

“I guess.” She shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. “You haven’t been at dinner.”

“I’ve been studying,” said Robbe. “Exams in three weeks, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Robbe opened his mouth to tell her to spit it out, whatever she had to say. He was tired of talking to her. He needed her to disappear, even if it hurt, and fuck, he was a bad person after all.

“He’s going to get tired of you,” she said. It wasn’t harsh. It wasn’t even that sad. She said it like a fact. “He’s… he’s not right. He’s going to get bored and leave you.”

That caught him off-guard. “What?”

“Sander.” Noor bit her lip. “He and Britt are going to get back together. They always do.”

Robbe scoffed. “I don’t really care about Britt’s take on this, no offense.”

“It’s not hers. It’s mine. Sander’s going to get bored of you, and when he does, he’s going right back to her.”

The whole thing was fake. Sander wasn’t even with Robbe. How could Sander leave if they weren’t together? Nothing Noor said had any bearing on Robbe’s situation at all.

He repeated that to himself.

“Is that all you came out here to say?” he asked. Hopefully that sounded confident. Robbe was still a little out of breath from the game.

Noor nodded. “I just thought you should know. Don’t get too attached. Sander’s—”

“It’s not really your business,” said Jens. Oh thank goodness, there he was, behind Noor. He must have turned around when he realized Robbe wasn’t with him. Sander was at his shoulder. “C’mon, Robbe,” he said. “We’ve gotta get back. I think they’re popping champagne.”

Robbe pushed himself up using the wall as support. He wanted to hear the end of that last sentence, even if he never wanted to hear Noor speak again.

What he knew:

He didn’t consider himself to be a particularly interesting person, never had, and today was the most brazen he’d been in his entire life.

The arrangement was made to be thrown away as soon as someone better stepped onto to scene.

Sander already knew that he was boring—Robbe was a prefect, for fuck’s sake.

Noor hadn’t said anything that wasn’t aware of already.

For some reason, it still stung. They started off down the worn grass that led out of the stadium and in the direction of Hogwarts’ main building, and, very purposefully, Robbe slid his hand into Sander’s. Because he could.

“Sorry!” Noor called as they headed away. She really did sound it.

“What was that about?” came Sander’s whisper in Robbe’s ear. It sent shivers down his spine.

“Nothing,” he hissed back. “Don’t worry about it.”

He wouldn��t worry about it either.

#sobbe #sobbe fanfic #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #hogwarts au #requested fic #fake dating #my writing #wtfock

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minerstatus · 3 years

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Teyvat’s School for the Gifted

Summary: He's cruel, mean, and sadistic. Lumine cannot fathom why he has the followers he does, but she won't fall into his hands like the rest of them. It was unknown to her at that time how such a stance would cause the biggest uproar the schools ever seen.

This is the silly drama filled high school/college parody AU nobody asked for filled with Lumine not giving a shit and Childe trying to buy his way out of problems.

Ship: Lumine/Childe

Tags: Highschool AU, Enemies to lovers, Slow burn, Jealousy, lots of side ships.

Status: 10/? on Ao3

Chapter 2

She had two options to think about after that ‘encounter’ or whatever you want to call it. Get in line like the rest of the students and eventually ‘hopefully’ her new toy status wears off and she fades into the sea of students. But that would depend on how HE acts after the dinner encounter. And something told Lumine from the way Amber and Barbara reacted to even speaking of the red headed devil he was a force to be reckoned with.

She tossed and turned in the night thinking of different scenarios for the morning.

There were boys like him back home. Maybe not filthy rich, sons of local shop owners, that acted like him. None of them possessed the same air as he did. Being able to part a sea of students just by walking has to be a superpower in itself.

Come to think of it she didn’t even find out where he was from, perhaps she should ask. The more info the better when it comes to defending herself.

She was never one to sit down and take abuse. When she was just in grade school the local boys knew not to mess with her after a few unfortunate incidents. Her mother always told her it was her blonde hair and honey eyes that made her stand out.

It always starts with them testing you. Small things to annoy you, just to see how you react. She would not be able to keep her temper down if that happened. She already had an issue with her mouth as it is.

She turned one final time in the plush bed she had been provided with. The school had made sure even the scholarship students were treated above average. It was impressive, but did little to dampen her jitters.

First day, which means new people and new teachers. Lumine was walked by Amber and Barbara to the faculty building. Razor was found sitting on a bench halfway there. It brought a smile to her face.

Razor had never left Amber’s side the entire night they sat talking. It was girl gossip that Lumine was never into, but enjoyed now that she had some people to actually talk to. Not many people are willing to come to a run-down farm for a sleepover back home. Razor himself didn’t talk much, but Lumine was observant. He sat on her bed and watched her, every action, smile, glance. Lumine was quite interested in understanding what Ambers reservations about him were. She seemed to like him from her perspective.

More questions for later.

A plump woman greeted her at the front desk. She was cheerful, but not like Mrs. Lee was, instead giving off warm motherly tones. Lumine could imagine her doting on all the students she came in contact with.

“Here you are dear.” She handed her a slip of paper with her classes.

“Thanks,” Lumine said quietly as she read the sheet. Alchemy, ancient runes, adventuring 101, history, then finally vision training. She internally laughed at the last class, perhaps they were going to rename it. She pulled on the collar of her school issued cardigan as it threatened to slide off one shoulder.

“Just head out to the academics building Mrs. Lee showed you yesterday and a student will be waiting to guide you to your classes,” The woman told her. Lumine nodded and gave back a genuine smile before turning to leave.

It was easy to pick out the student waiting for her in front of the buildings doors despite the crowds entering and exiting. It was a green haired girl nervously fisting her skirt between fidgeting with her glasses. Two small animal ears poked out from under her main of messy hair. She wore her skirt long, unlike the rest of the student body (and Lumine herself), and covered up with a baggy school issued cardigan like Lumine’s.

“Are you the one waiting for the new girl?” Lumine asked. The girl snapped out of a nervous trance and a blush covered her features.

“Ah! Y-yes,” She stuttered before taking a breath, “Sorry I get nervous easily, my names Sucrose,” she extended a hand.

“Thats a pretty name, I like it,” Lumine said as she returned the handshake. She hoped it might calm her down but Sucrose turned scarlet instead.

“I-I'll walk you to your class,” She mumbled and walked inside. Lumine followed silently, deciding the best course of action was to not embarrass her further.

She led her to a decently sized class of students with a portly teacher standing in the front. He wore robes and a ridiculously oversized wizards' hat. The site was an oddity in Lumines eyes, having only ever had exceptionally plain teachers back home. Sucrose left Lumine at the front of the class as she shuffled over to the teacher, managing to get his attention with a simple clearing of her throat. Lumine decided to inspect the chalk board instead of the students. She didn’t want to know if the red headed asshole was in here yet.

“Ah yes Lumine!” The teacher bellowed and waved her over. She stepped lightly up onto his raised platform as sucrose scurried to her seat in the front row. “My name is professor Rasmodius, take a seat next to Zhongli back there,” He pointed off into the right of the room. Lumines stomach sank at the mention of a familiar name. She dragged herself to the back of the class and slid into the empty stool next to him.

They made eye contact and she swore she could see the gears turning in his mind before he spoke.

“He’s not in this class,” He said in monotone.

Lumine choked on her own spit, “w-what?” she asked him.

“He’s not here, if that is what you are worried about,” He smiled down at her sweetly. Lumine felt her face heat up.

“I don’t care if he's here or not,” She quickly recovered and crossed her arms.

“Hm,” He put a hand on his chin, “You had the same gaze as most other new females.”

“Yes, well sorry for being nervous.”

“Perhaps I have made a wrong assumption, I apologize,” He turned his body to her, “Zhongli of the Wangsheng funeral parlor.”

Lumine fumbled a bit at his words. Was it normal to greet someone with your name and what company you hail from? She eyed him wearily for a moment then decided to screw it. Not like they wouldn’t find out if she lies.

“Lumine of a very poor farm outside of Mondstadt.”

He chuckled in a low deep tone. Lumine felt her façade falling as her heart sped up.

“Sorry, perhaps too formal?” He asked.

“You talk like you are speaking to a business partner,” she told him honestly.

“Ive been told that before, even by my friends,” He admitted. For the first time Lumine’s lips quirked into a teasing smile.

“Alright class today we will be looking into the mythical potions of Esteria! page 103!” The teacher commanded. The room filled with the sounds of turning pages.

“I didn’t get a book?” Lumine questioned.

“You will more than likely get them at some point today,” Zhongli told her as he slid his book over between them, “here share mine.”

“Thanks,” She mumbled, dipping behind her hair to hide her blush. Perhaps her friends were right, most of the group wasn’t that bad.

Okay maybe they were wrong, at least two out of the four were very very bad. She had not seen the infamous Childe today, but after alchemy Zhongli was very kind to walk her to the next class. Relieving a very thankful, yet worried, sucrose from her job.

They talked about small things, mostly how the school was going, what she thought of it, what kind of things she did back in Mondstadt. To her surprise Zhongli seemed genuinely interested in the day to day life of a poor person. He was awkwardly polite with everything, but had a sincerity to him that he wore on his sleeve.

There was just one sneaking suspicion she had regarding the man. How on earth does a funeral parlor have enough money to send their son to this school AND be the top of the food chain. Surely these boys were flooded with money otherwise the attention wouldn’t be as drastic. There were even glares tossed her way as they walked to the next class.

It was nice to have the attention, he had a smooth deep voice that sent her insides into a flurry. That was until they came upon Xiao. The boy was shorter than his tall geo counterpart and crossed his arms at their arrival. He glared at her as Zhongli added another sentence to their conversation. The words fell on deaf ears as Lumine tried to fight back a snarky remark. She had done nothing to earn this glare from him and it was irking her.

“Keep glaring like that and your face will freeze that way,” She blurted out.

“What?” He hissed at her.

“Ah,” Lumine back tracked, she didn’t mean to speak her thoughts like that, “you just look awfully peeved is all,” she decided on. He narrowed his eyes at her.

Day one, mouth already got her in trouble, nice.

They had a standoff for a few moments before Xiao conceded with a huff and turned into the room.

“Don't worry about him, he's weary of newcomers,” Zhongli said from besides her. She looked up to him for reassurance and was once again met with an honest gaze and smile.

“I-” She began to say and stopped to think about it, “I trust you.”

Even if he was lieing, what harm would come of it? She loses a friend she never even had?

Ancient runes was a snooze fest as expected. She sat next to an incredibly ordinary looking girl who should have hissed like a cat when Lumine sat down. It would have made the look she gave her less comical.

But things perked up in Adventuring 101. The class was useless to someone like her. It was basically preaching about basic safety the entire time. Don’t touch pryo slimes, they hurt. Don’t go off fighting electro monsters in the rain, that also hurts. Always have food rations and medical potions on you!

Blah.

She didn’t need this info, but it was a required class. Get a taste of everything before heading off to the college and decide what classifications you want. Stupid rules some adult made to torture the youngins.

It was fifteen minutes into the class. There was a saving grace, she had a seat next to Zhongli. He shared his book with her again and was polite and overly cordial as always. She assumed the class was full with everyone in attendance. There were a few empty desks but students could be sick or the class could have fewer students than desks.

Then HE walked in, opening the door without a care in the world, loudly. There was this beaming, disgustingly fake, smile plastered to him. A girl followed him inside, checking her makeup on a small compact mirror. They seated themselves in the empty spots adjacent to herself and Zhongli.

The teacher scolded him as he walked, but he ignored it with a shrug. His entire demeanor made her want to mop the floor with his pretty face. Just like the boys back home. She made a point to keep her eyes forwards or at the text in front of her. Not wanting to give him any ideas. There was a cold chill crawling up her spine again, he was staring.

The class continued onwards. The teacher quickly dropped the subject of publicly shaming Childe for walking in to class late. They were moving on to something at least slightly interesting she didn’t know too much about. How to read the stars and sun for location and time. It was something she never needed as she stayed close to home.

It was useful to her so she took out her notepad and began to scribble down some text out of the book as she teacher lectured. She made it a few words in before the girl next to Childe giggled in that high pitch way girls do when they are trying to impress a man.

She dared a side glance over to the table and noticed the girl enamored by him. Getting a full view of the back of her head as Childe whispered sweet nothings to her. He sensed her gaze and looked up, making eye contact. She went back to her work before the girl could turn, clearing her throat.

He was testing her; she could feel it. Between yesterday's stare down and this there was no mistaking it.

“Something wrong?” Zhongli asked her in a low whisper.

“Just a little difficult to get work done with so many distractions,” She growled.

“You will grow accustom soon,” He told her. She laughed quietly at his choice of words. Someone needed to remind him he was still a teenager.

The entire period passed with flirtatious whispers and laughs flying.

And not, one. God. Damn. Time, did the teacher say anything to the two culprits. Although something told her Childe was the true mastermind behind the distraction. She tried her best, she really did, but Lumine was never great at keeping her temper in control. Not when it came to completely asinine males making a side show out of a class.

Her pencil lead snapped on her paper.

“Shit,” she whispered.

“It seems you have snapped your lead,” Zhongli murmured. She refrained from calling him captain obvious. There was a chuckle to her right, this time clearly mocking and directed at her, she herself snapped. She turned and with pin point accuracy threw the pencil at her tormentor. The eraser bounced off his forehead, sending the object into an unknown destination in the room.

The smile fell from his features and they traded deadly glares. The girl sitting with him was busying herself cooing over him asking what's wrong. Oblivious to the events that just unfolded. Zhongli of all people fucking laughed.

She turned her glare into a smug grin reading ‘what are you gunna do about it? now shut the hell up’ and turned back to her work. She leaned back and crossed her arms.

“Well played young lady,” Zhongli whispered to her.

The option of fading into the background had vanished.

#chilumi #genshin impact #genshin childe #genshin lumine #genshin fanfic #childe #Lumine #genshin impact fanfiction

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clumsyclifford · 2 years

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Hi I wanted to get more into writing and you’re one of the best writers I know so I was wondering if you had any advice/tips for a new writer? (Or good starting prompts I have no clue where to even begin)

hi, hello, sorry that i left this sitting in my inbox for so long. ive been alternating between forgetting about it and remembering it but having no idea how to respond, so i'm just gonna start typing while i'm thinking of it and hopefully some inspiration will come as i do.

first off: thank you!!! that's very kind of you to say. i'm flattered that you came to me with this inquiry. before i give you the rest of this, i can direct you to this other ask i answered, which also asked me for writing advice. that answer is more technical and more about the actual process of writing itself rather than sort of the "writer's journey" or whatever, which is what this is.

so...okay. advice. i can do my best, though i will admit i haven't been a new writer in quite a long time, so i don't know how much this will track. that said, i do have the perspective of being able to look back on my past self from when i was a new writer, so i guess here are some suggestions i can give you based on that:

read. this one is surpassingly self-evident but it is true for all writers everywhere and ESPECIALLY good for fanfic writers - read fic. trust me, the quickest way to get an idea of how to write characters is to see how lots of other people are writing them.

write what you want to see written. there's always something!! the best best best place to start writing is filling a gap for the content you would love to read but that no one else is writing. this trick has never failed me. you think anyone else is writing acappella AUs? nope, it's just me. (so far. eyes emoji.) have you ever thought to yourself, "man, i wish someone would write a fic where ____" ?? THAT'S YOUR FIC. write it. go for it. it's all you.

get an editor. a beta, if you will. a second set of eyes who - and this is important - will give you honest and helpful feedback on how to improve your story. genuine caveat: if you don't care about improving then fuck this step. sometimes you just wanna create and you don't want judgement or anything. that's totally valid. but if you want to hone your craft, you need a second opinion, and you need someone who won't just say "this is soooo good!" and omit all the parts that could use a facelift. constructive criticism is your friend. i still remember con crit someone gave me from like five years ago. it made me a better writer.

i am now at a crossroads, because as a fic-writing veteran i want to advise you to not post immediately, and to sit on your writing for a little while and leave and come back to it with fresh eyes, because that is genuinely a good piece of advice. however. i understand the urge to post a fic. validation is always nice!! and i am really not one to talk about delayed gratification. so i'm going to stand by this, but just know that i know it's hypocritical and a little preachy. but there is real value in leaving your fic for even just a few days, untouched, and then returning to it. you start to catch little details, or even bigger ones, and because you refrained from posting it, you have the opportunity to fix those problems. i have gone back and reread some fics that i wrote and then posted in a spur of the moment, and i wish i'd waited to post those ones. there are things i would fix.

obviously this has a dark side, which is that if you keep sitting on a fic and returning to it you're going to keep finding problems with it and then you're just beating a dead horse, but there's a sweet spot in the middle there and i trust you to find it.

and of course the most important piece of advice, which trumps all this other shit i've said:

write. write! just write something. whatever thoughts you're having, write them down. they don't have to form a cohesive story. they don't have to become anything. you have a picture in your mind? describe it. you see two seconds of a scene? put it in words. eventually an idea is going to grab you by the throat and threaten to throw you into the river unless you write it right now this minute. and on the other end of that, you'll have written a story, and that's awesome. writing anything at all is amazing, because you told a story where a story didn't exist. you put words together that had never been put together that way before. you created something unique. well done.

NOW as to prompts!!! i can direct you to my prompts tag. unfortunately i'm not sure how much more specific i can be with this, because everyone feels differently about different kinds of prompts. for example, i personally prefer dialogue prompts to scenario prompts, because i think dialogue prompts still leave the opportunity to write any scenario at all, as long as you can fit the dialogue in there. on the flip side i know there are people who prefer scenario prompts specifically because it gives you the exact scenario in which the characters find themselves, and they can be doing or saying more or less whatever you decide, but you don't have to choose the AU/circumstances because they've been chosen for you. different strokes, different folks! i recommend choosing one that inspires you and seeing what you do with it. if you get stuck, try again. there's no limit to the number of prompts you can steal for your own personal gain. go absolutely insane.

i hope this was helpful, though i know it may not have been. if i had left this ask in my inbox any longer it may have begun gathering dust and i didn't want to leave you completely hanging. good luck!!! i have faith in you. and feel free to swing by with any more questions/inquiries which i will once again try to answer to the best of my abilities. xoxo

#writing advice #ahhhhhhhhhhhhh #stress #i hope this is helpful anon! sorry for the late reply #i just rewatched endgame it was such a choice for me to do that at midnight #but it happened #and now i am eating salt and then now after this gonna go make some tea #ainsella tea party timeeeeee #ask #anonymous

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peachcitt · 3 years

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peach's top songs to project adrien agreste onto: waterparks edition

(disclaimer: the title is not to say that there will ever be other editions, but i did want to specify that this list is entirely comprised of songs made by the band waterparks. thank you)

ive been experiencing adrien agreste brain worms in relation specifically to waterparks, which is one of my favorite bands, and since ive been going insane over the adrien-specific feelings these songs have been giving me, i decided to make a master list of exactly how i project adrien onto these songs. this is going to be a long one

structure:

Intro

Airplane Conversations

Black Light

Cluster

Double Dare

Entertainment

Fandom

Greatest Hits

Conclusion

1. intro

it should be mentioned that i originally started hardcore projecting adrien onto waterparks songs after i started making my mlb radio rebel au in which adrien is a pop singer for his dad/in a band for fun with his best friends. i was trying to figure out what adrien's music might sound like, or what vibe his music would give off, and my mind immediately went to waterparks because they're one of my favorite bands and also because im insane.

in my head, for the au specifically, waterparks' earlier garage-band sounds from their EPs (airplane conversations, black light, cluster) would've matched up to adrien's band for fun in the au, and their later more pop-leaning songs from later albums (mostly fandom but also double dare and entertainment) would've matched up to the pop songs he released under his father's label. so that's how it started, which is, like, the most absurd origin story ever, but such is how it goes.

it should also be mentioned that i don't project adrien onto EVERY song, and the songs i do project him on aren't like. the most perfect fit, but there are always certain lines that scream adrien, and if it's like that, then i will include the song on the list.

with that explained, let's actually talk about the songs i project adrien onto and why:

2. airplane conversations

like i mentioned earlier, waterparks has a couple of garage-band sounding EPs, and this is for sure one of them. airplane conversations is the first EP they released, and the main themes are: feeling stuck, recognizing the fact that you are Growing Up, and being in love

5/5 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

silver

the song starts with:

"i’ll be the silver lining around your fence used to protect yourself from all the world and its sharp teeth 'cause my open hand and heart think you belong with me"

which is very ladynoir-esque. the beginning line of wanting to be "the silver lining" around the other person's protective fence against the rest of the world reminds me so strongly of chat's place as ladybug's partner; she wanted so badly to guard herself against the rest of the world after she became the guardian, and chat saw that and wanted to be her bright side to all the stress of being the guardian/a superhero. he stayed beside her and joked around because he loved her but also because he recognized that he needed something bright - a silver lining - to balance out all her stress. and "my open hand and heart think you belong with me" is pretty self explanatory, but chat's heart is always open for ladybug - as a partner, as a friend, as a potential lover. he supports her, in any and every way she might need.

in the second verse, we get:

"I was the one who kept myself standing tall You were the light at the end of the hall"

which relates to adrien enduring his dismal home life. his father and the work his father imposes on him isn't easy, but adrien was and still is able to stand tall beneath it all - partly because of what he wants for himself (he ran away to public school entirely on his own, after all), but also because ladybug is there to mark and signify the freedom and love he feels with her as chat noir.

bones of '92

so bones of '92 isn't. like a super adrien song, mostly because it's very much about the struggles waterparks was having as a new band, however the outro is. well. it's:

"i won’t let you down just promise that you won’t forget about me can’t stop the future from settling but i can change the way it feels just promise that you won’t forget about me"

this feels like adrien is speaking to his father in the first couple of lines ("i won't let you down / just promise you won't forget about me") because of how much of a strict and absent father gabriel is. i think adrien, at least in part, believes that the only way he is able to gain affection from his father is by doing exactly as he says and going along with what his father wants.

the next couple of lines ("can't stop the future from settling / but i can change the way it feels") is adrien's hopeful call to the future. he's stuck right now with his father, and he maybe even thinks that he'll always be stuck doing what his father wants, but he can change how he feels by being chat noir. by being chat noir, adrien is taking hold of his own future and his own feelings, shining a positive light on the future that he may not have had before.

the last line, a repetition of "just promise that you won't forget about me" could again be talking to his father, another plea after expressing his own desire, like he thinks that his father won't approve of him wanting his own things. or it could be adrien talking to ladybug or even the city itself; adrien loves being chat noir, but he's not really as popular as ladybug, and he also fears his relationship with ladybug. he needs frequent reminders from her that he's valuable and important to her, and so this fear of being forgotten - by her or Paris - tracks well with his character.

i was hiding under your porch because i love you

also not a huge adrien song BUT the line "it's just you and me / through all these inconsistencies" screams ladynoir

they all float

again, not a huge adrien song but my powers of projecting are unmatched and the line "this time i'll do things the way you wanted / it's not right, but it's just the way you wanted / lay it all on me, 'cause i'm all ears" is another adrien to gabriel line.

fantastic

i did not really consider this an adrien song until i looked up the lyrics and realized it was. im right. we have the chorus:

"i can't imagine fast enough to settle on a dream but i've spent this winter wondering when they're gonna settle on me and there's some things i've just gotta know but one thing's for sure"

which is another inscription of adrien's hopelessness in regards to his position with his father; he's never been given the opportunity to truly figure out what he wants for himself, and so he doesn't even really know where to start. the "one thing" that's for sure can be interpreted as the controlling hand gabriel has on his life, or it can take a more hopeful tone, considering that we have seen adrien take those first steps to move out of gabriel's control - by going to public school and by becoming chat noir. the "one thing" for sure could be gabriel, but it can also be that, for sure, adrien will always find ways to escape gabriel.

in the post chorus, we get:

"and i can't wait to go outside and spend my summers contemplating what I'm gonna do with my life"

which lends hope to adrien's "one thing" being him able to escape because of the excited tone of the lines. he "can't wait to go outside" as chat noir, outside of the mansion, and take time to contemplate what he wants from his own life, for himself.

3. black light

black light is the second EP waterparks released, and it's another garage-band sounding EP. the main themes of this EP are: being frustrated with your situation and the people in it, and wanting to carve out a better future for yourself

4/6 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

christmas

this is!!!!such an adrien song!!!!!! this is one of the songs that i picture adrien's band playing in my au i mentioned earlier. we start the song with:

"i fell asleep last winter woke up and it was august not much has changed, yeah, i still feel the same but i’m slowly making progress"

which fits into the themes of adrien's character i talked about during airplane conversations of adrien going through the motions of what his father tells him to, but slowly trying to break out of that control and make progress for his own goals.

in the chorus we get:

"i’m just waiting and i’m just saying maybe the end is near but all that means is a new beginning"

this isn't like. super adrien related but i still think it deserves mentioning because of how it progresses through the song (which i will mention in a second), but i think it relates well to the "growing up/fearing the future" stuff we've talked about.

we get a featured singer sing this part (which in my au nino sings, it doesn't matter):

"i’m just waiting for my chance to put a picture of me, put a picture of me in the dream scenes of dream scenes of dream scenes of dream scenes of my ideal future"

which, again, relates to adrien wanting to be able to call his future his own, outside of his father.

and in the outro, we get the lyrics from the chorus changed up a little, so that we get:

"i was waiting and i was saying the end wasn’t ours to fear and all it meant was a new beginning"

in my head, because of the way the tenses change from present to past, this would be adrien's perspective after the events of his childhood and teenage years. but because his youth is also so tied up with being chat noir and defeating hawkmoth (who is his father) i think this is such. this is such an emotional and hopeful line, looking at this from adrien's point of view. after defeating hawkmoth, despite how truly grueling that might be for him, he becomes free from gabriel's control. growing up, defeating hawkmoth, facing the end of childhood means adrien can have a new beginning. he can have his ideal future.

american history

american history isn't fully adriencore but the line "the action's a fraction of how much this hurts" is very much "we're teenage superheroes fighting supervillains every day and somehow the action of the fights is not the worst thing that's happening in my life"

new wave

i actually named my au after this song because it's such a bright, upbeat song against adults who try to tell you the way the things you do isn't right. it fits right in with the theme of the au, and it can also be applied to ladybug and chat noir's fight against hawkmoth.

in the first verse we get:

"call it new wave say it like you should because a call to arms is a calling card and i’m calling soon hoping i can get through to you"

which is like. hawkmoth is "calling to arms" his akumas, which in turn acts as a calling card for ladybug and chat noir. the "i'm calling soon / hoping i can get through to you" is chat noir specific because of the fact that hawkmoth is his father; instead of just defeating him, adrien will probably feel some empathy towards his father and want to get through to him.

in the pre-chorus, we get:

"every single time you throw your white flag down and surrender like every single second's just another second spent to lose but this is something i can’t lose"

which translates to hawkmoth akumatizing a new person nearly every day but still pulling back and "surrendering" after the akuma is defeated. he's playing the long game; he's confident that, eventually, he'll defeat ladybug and chat, and so he doesn't really care if he loses another day. but for ladybug and chat noir, this is life or death. they can't afford to lose to an akuma even once or else they lose the miraculous, maybe their lives, and definitely paris. they can't lose.

the outro is a variation on the intro and it's:

"call it new wave until it's all washed up because we'll be crashing soon but before we do i hope i get through through to you"

which refers to ladybug, chat noir, and hawkmoth "crashing" together in their final battle, but, before they do, adrien hopes to get through to his father, connect with him. and maybe that might make the "crashing into each other" less severe.

night maps

night maps is another song that fit into my au; it starts with:

"i couldn’t keep up with watering myself down and so all that grew was the high tide until i drowned the oxygen had all run out and now i’m left dried up and standing here"

which translates to adrien being drained and watered down to be the image his father wants him to be. the rest of the song, however, is about finding a place for yourself and beginning the process of being yourself again, which, for adrien means being chat noir.

4. cluster

cluster rounds out the early garage-band EPs as the third and final EP. the main themes of this EP are: being separated from someone you love and feeling frustrated about your situation.

4/5 songs on this EP can be considered adrien songs

crave

this is a very bittersweet song about being in love, which makes it, for my intents and purposes, a very bittersweet song about being in love with ladybug. at the beginning of the song, we get:

"i wish i could forget you but it's out of hand i wish i was aggressive and had a plan"

in canon, adrien dated kagami, but still obviously had feelings for ladybug. he did, however, like kagami a lot, and so he might've wished that he could forget his feelings for ladybug, especially knowing she can't reciprocate and he had an amazing girl right in front of him. he wants a plan to get out of feeling for her and for feeling for kagami.

in the chorus, we get:

"i'm cravin', a getaway from the smooth talk, that's keeping me grounded to the, carpet in my room my quiet blue tomb of you"

as chat, adrien can't resist flirting with ladybug because that's the friendship they've established with themselves, and ladybug is always smoothly replying back to him with jokes of her own. her banter, as much as he loves it and values it, keeps him thinking about her when he's alone in his room instead of thinking about kagami. his love for ladybug shouldn't be - she can't love him back and he is in a relationship with someone else - and so his bedroom where his innermost desires come to light becomes a guilty sort of place.

territory

territory is so ladynoir it hurts. in the intro we get the lines:

"i wear my game face in your headspace where it's storming at least most days we are both like that we are both the same"

which translates to ladybug and chat meeting, at most points in time, in order to fight akumas - hence, they always have to have their "game faces" on. ladybug's headspace is "storming" most days because of her stress with being the guardian and fighting akumas - and they find solace in each other's company because they're both teenagers burdened with way more than they should be.

the bridge gives us:

"i'm gonna hunt you down cause i'm a handful i'm gonna freak you out but it's all substantial so bring me bad news anything you have to just to keep me on my toes"

which is how chat views the way he tells his feelings to ladybug; he knows she'll probably "bring him bad news" by rejecting him, but he wants to continue being around her in her territory - he wants to be her friend, and he also wants to keep loving her.

pink

pink can also be a song about adrien loving ladybug, especially with the chorus lyric of "you're one of my favorite few" which is just. SO sweet and romantic but anyway. in the pre-chorus we get the lines:

"i'll watch you from my telescope; my eyes stuck to my favorite show i barely get more than a glimpse but it's better than nothing, yeah, i know"

which is like. adrien doesn't really get to see ladybug often, at least not in a relaxed setting like he really wants to. he feels far away from her, but when he does get the chance to be near her, he tries to absorb as much from the interaction as he can, throwing out dumb puns, flirting, and generally trying to get to know her in between akuma fights. it's not the ideal way he'd choose to spend time with her, but it's better than nothing.

no capes

no capes is another song about adrien wanting to be different that what he should be (with lines like "the anything slash everything that i should be / but i don't want to be like that") but this one takes a more somber and scared tone, which could relate to the fears he feels as chat noir.

the pre-chorus is literally just the line "no one will ever love us the way that i do." for adrien, being chat noir is so important to him, considering his home life, and he knows ladybug likes him, but she doesn't love him. he loves their partnership, he loves her - he fears he'll be in a position where he's wanting this (being a superhero, being friends) more than she does.

in the bridge, we get the lines:

"i hope you watch me through the letdown 'cause no one will be here, be here forever"

which could translate to any anxieties he feels about what happens after they achieve their goal of defeating hawkmoth. adrien has a lot of issues - issues about adults in his life disappearing/dying or emotionally leaving him behind - and he doesn't want ladybug to be another person to leave him behind after everything is over. he wants to still be able to be friends with her, maybe even learn her true name. but he fears that won't happen.

5. double dare

with double dare, we've breached album territory: double dare was waterparks' first official album, and it started branching into more polished, pop-leaning songs. the main themes of this album are: being tired and frustrated with something that you should like and loving someone who may not love you back

5/13 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

stupid for you

stupid for you is ladynoir. it's ladynoir so hard. i mean, we have lines like:

"you're yellow, i'm natural blue let's get together and be green like my insides"

which. okay i know adrien is generally seen as the yellow golden boy and he is! but like, looking at him in comparison to marinette/ladybug and actual color theory, he's more of a natural blue. he's more likely to fall victim to negative thoughts than marinette is; she's generally more positive, more 'yellow.' (also, when you consider that their character design colors are each other's colors when inversed, this also makes sense - adrien is 'blue' beneath his appearance and marinette is 'yellow') and the "let's get together and be green like my insides" relates because green is a chat noir color. he wants them, in their 'yellow' and 'blue' contrasting moods to get together and be green, like chat noir, who is generally silly and joking around. he wants them to be able to be silly together.

in the chorus, we get:

"hey, tell me what you want me to say you know i'm stupid for you hey, can you come and come out and play? you know i'm stupid for you"

which is like how he is after he's been rejected; he doesn't know what to say after she tries to get him to stop flirting. he wants her to give him blueprints of how to act so that she'll like him (i.e. what color rose he gives her), but he still wants to be around her and and joke around with her.

in the bridge, we get:

"Just double dare me And I promise now that I'll stay It's not like you're married but I still got carried away"

which further develops his insecurities in regards on how to interact with her - he knows she didn't like when he confessed to her, that it made her feel guilty and a little upset because she couldn't return her feelings, and he got carried away with his over-the-top methods. but if she were to ask him to stay with her, in any sense of the word, he would do it in a heartbeat.

in the second chorus, we get:

"you're playing ring around my head i wear you like a halo you're a symphony, i'm just a sour note i'll take what i can get the best is hard to grip when everybody wants you and everybody wants you"

which conveys how ladybug is always on his mind ("you're playing ring around my head") but he likes this fact - or at the very least he doesn't mind it ("i wear you like a halo"). he sees her as someone who is so good and so out of reach for him ("you're a symphony, i'm just a sour note") but he still wants to be around her as much as he can. he'll take what he can get in terms of her time and attention, because he knows how the entire city is vying for her attention - she's the face of paris and she's the guardian and she has her own life to attend to - he thinks that maybe to her, he's just another person in her life who wants her.

royal

royal is only kind of an adrien song with lines like "i'm two faced from your double exposure" about his conflicting personas between what his father wants from him and what he himself wants to be, and this is especially poignant because of the "double exposure" metaphor, like the cameras adrien is behind for his modelling jobs are what make him "two faced"

royal is also about working so hard but not knowing if the pay off is worth it, which also relates to adrien's job with his father.

take her to the moon

take her to the moon is a "adrien loving ladybug song" with lines such as:

"i wanna make my way into your kiss i wanna live inside your mind next to your favorite songs i won't slow my pace until your walkway i wanna lose my mood inside a late night phone call with you"

which such a sweet lovesick yearning idea that adrien has 100% thought about ladybug before. i rest my case

powerless

powerless is a ladynoir song. in the first verse we get:

"you know i'd make the time i'm just waiting on your green light yeah, i'll be at your porch by this time tomorrow 'cause i'm almost not fine, but i'd never let you know"

which is like. adrien is SO down to be anything ladybug needs - he has almost no time at all what with his father's schedule, but he will always make time for ladybug. he's literally just waiting for her to call, and he'll be there. but in terms of actually letting her know how important she is to him in his life, as both a friend and as someone he loves romantically, he can never tell her because he doesn't really want to worry her.

in the chorus we get:

"you're the only one that makes me powerless tonight all i am is losing track of time tell me why oh, oh you never really missed me back"

which leads us into the bridge:

"i want you to need me like i need you i need you to see me when I'm see-through it's sad but it's true: no one's waiting for you but i was thinking we could get away sometime yeah, let's call it a date and you can devastate my personal space i never liked it anyway"

and that tells us how strong his feelings are for her; they're so powerful that he's effectively powerless against her. but he feels as though he's the only one that feels that way - she never seems to miss him back. but he wants her to want him in the same way he wants her - he wants her to be able to see him, in all his details, and still like him. and he wants her to go on a date with him and actually get close to him - get up his personal space because with her, he doesn't actually want personal space.

i'll always be around

i'll always be around is guess what!!! another ladynoir song!!! the chorus gives us:

"you know i'll always be around i'd never never never leave you hanging out to dry because the world's gonna pass me by but if you wanted, i'd never never never leave your leave your side i'd never never never leave you out to dry i'd never never never get you off my mind"

which is so!!! relates to the previously mentioned ideas of adrien being willing to drop everything to do what ladybug asked. he's devoted and loyal to her - he always wants to be someone that she can rely on as both a friend and a partner, and, potentially, as a lover.

we also get the line:

"you stopped me in my tracks you caught me in a gaze"

which relates to the moment he fell in love with her when she stood up to hawkmoth in front of all of paris: in that single moment she'd caught him up into having feelings for her, even if she didn't know it.

and in the bridge we get:

"if there ever came a dark day (if there ever came a dark day) that crushed us out and took you away i'd chase you to the end i'd chase you to the end of the world"

which is so. so ladynoir. their relationship and friendship is constantly haunted by the threat of hawkmoth, and so this consideration of the terrible "what ifs" and the insistence that no matter what, he'd find a way to get back to her is like. yeah that's ladynoir.

6. entertainment

entertainment is the second album, and it continues leaning into the pop-alternative sound while still somehow sticking to the punk sound. the main themes of this album are: loving someone, loving someone who hurts you and isn't good for you, and feeling trapped in your circumstances

4/10 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

11:11

this song is so!!!! adrien loving marinette core!!!!!! i actually wrote a fic that had one of the lyrics of this song as a title (my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room)

the pre-chorus actually gives us this line here:

"my favorite set of stairs is the one up to your room and my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you evil comes in pairs and we like what we do you've got me feeling like a walking love song"

which just makes me think of the way adrien will be after the identity reveal happens. he already wants marinette to be ladybug (based off the sheer amount of times he's referred to her as 'the everyday ladybug' + every time he's gotten so close to discovering ladybug's identity and his brain has always gone, without fail, to marinette), and so when he realizes that she is ladybug, she'll quickly become the person he most wants to be around and the person he feels most comfortable around. because of how dismal his home life is, he'll probably spend a lot of time at her house, and he'll come to associate the stairs of her room with walking into love and comfort. he'll be absolutely smitten with her.

in the chorus, we get:

"i must've caught you from 11:11 the lucky number seven i try to hide with my words but you just find me clever i found a million places you'd be worth the chases to go-oh-oh"

which again just inscribes how strongly he would feel for marinette - and it's also kind of a pun because of how "lucky" he would be to have her. like. get it. lucky charm. anyway, his "hiding with his words" would refer to the way he disguises his feelings with humor, but she would be able to see past that - they would know each other so well. and, just like how i've said adrien is with ladybug, he would totally be willing to go anywhere and everywhere for marinette. this song is post-reveal adrinettecore.

lucky people

guess what fellas we have another song about adrien loving ladybug/marinette. after looking closely, it seems like we might have a post-reveal relationship sort of vibe here, but it doesn't really matter because bare bones? this song is about adrien loving ladybug who is also marinette.

we start with the verse:

"light us up until we pop i wanna burn bright 'til we're not let's keep each other safe from the world i'll be your optimistic black hole full of love i can't control let's keep each other safe from the world from the world"

which falls into the previously-discussed themes of adrien wanting to be around ladybug as much as he possibly can before they defeat hawkmoth and inevitable Something Different happens, and he also wants the both of them to stick together. the "i'll be your optimistic black hole / full of love i can't control" also relates to previously-discussed adrien themes where we know adrien is actually someone who is prone to negative thoughts, but he comes off as someone who is really optimistic, and also that he loves ladybug something fierce - it's a love that he knows has already scared her, but it's also a love that he feel like he can't help but feel.

in the chorus, we get:

"i know you said to mind my business but cupid sent me on a mission that's got me sitting, wishing, waiting for your call"

which plays into adrien's romantic nature conflicting with ladybug wanting to keep their feelings out of superhero work. regardless, because of his romantic nature, he will always be sitting and waiting for her to call him so that they can be together, even if it's just to fight akumas.

we also have the line:

"you've got me more than clumsy but you're my yellow, lovely"

which (SEASON 4 SPOILERS) after mr. pigeon 72 is like. adrien literally was so busy looking at marinette that he bumped his head against a car door. but he won't even mind!! because marinette/ladybug is a spot of brightness in his world that he absolutely adores.

rare

i am once again telling you that this song is about adrien loving ladybug. hear me out. i'm right. in the chorus we get:

"i just hope it's nicer where you are 'cause i only want to lift you up i guess i never really said enough for you to hear me where you are 'cause i only want to lift you up i guess i never really said enough so let me tell you now"

this is adrien hoping that, wherever and whoever ladybug is, she's living happily - at least more happily than him. he only wants to lift her up and support her, not only because he loves her, but also because he values her as a friend. but he feels like she doesn't know how much she truly cares about him - he feels like she brushes off when he tells her he loves her, so he wants to say it loud enough for her to truly understand.

and in the other half of the chorus, we get:

"my tired thoughts don't take vacations, oh no you float up in conversations, oh no you're my final destination, i know you're probably fine there just know i think you're rare"

which is where he tells her how he truly feels; he's always thinking about her, and when she comes up in conversation (which she does, she's ladybug after all), he feels some stress because he has all these feelings for her that his civilian self isn't supposed to have. and yet he feels like she's it for him - he loves her so much and can't imagine loving anyone else. she's his "final destination." and he thinks that she is so good and powerful and beautiful that she's rare in comparison to the rest of the world - which tells her how happy he is to have found her. (and, thinking about this line as if he's speaking to ladybug, it's funny for him to say that he thinks she's rare but refer to marinette as "the everyday ladybug." which really just tells you how highly he thinks of marinette)

sleep alone

we're rounding out this album with, you guessed it, another song about adrien loving ladybug. like. "i feel dead and a half but you're making me laugh" ?? which relates to adrien being overworked by his father but meeting ladybug in his spare time and managing to feel truly light hearted around her??

in the chorus we get:

"my face feels hot and blue my hands still count on you to let me down articulate and lonely enough for the two of us but if you want, if you want, if you want to you can call me on my phone, i'll run to you you won't ever have to sleep alone you can call me on my phone, i'll come to you you won't ever have to sleep, sleep, sleep alone"

which hints at how adrien knows that ladybug will continue to turn him down, but he can't deny his feelings for her ("my hands still count on you to let me down"). and he's lonely - isolated by his father - which he feels like he has enough to loneliness to cover the both of them, which is why he proposes that they stay together; he'll take on her loneliness, too. and, just like in all the adrien-loves-ladybug songs, we see that he is only a single call away from doing anything ladybug asks him too.

we also get the line "but if you want it you can have it, you can have me in full" which tells us that he respects her wishes to keep their identities a secret, and he understands that she doesn't have romantic feelings for him, but if she ever changed her mind - about either thing - all she would have to do is ask, and she would have him, entirely.

7. fandom

fandom is the third album, and it leans into not only pop-alternative sounds, but also rap and almost r&b alternative sounds. the main themes of this album are: wanting to be able to express yourself in the way you want, feeling separated from someone you love, and getting out of a bad relationship

7/15 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

cherry red

starting off strong with the album's opener (which also starts with the ending music of the last song on the album which is- okay. this album's art. continuing on) which is - i'm thinking you're sensing the pattern - at least partly about adrien loving ladybug. cherry red is super short, and the only line that really applies is:

"cherry red you know i'd die for you"

which. cherry red refers to ladybug because of, you know, cherry red suit, etc. and the "you know i'd die for you" is. well. adrien has made it very clear that he will go out of his way during akuma fights to protect ladybug. it's not exactly dying, but it's close enough.

dream boy

dream boy is!!!!!!!! dream boy is THE adrien song!!!!! dream boy was the song that made me mold au adrien's band after waterparks, dream boy is the song that semi-inspired this post, dream boy is the reason i project adrien onto so much of waterparks' discography.

dream boy sounds a lot like a love song. but dream boy is, at it's core, a commentary on the way that media and fanbases treat conventionally attractive boys in the spotlight, and it's a commentary in the form of a bright, bubbly pop song. it's brilliant. it's adrien

the chorus, which is also the intro gives us:

"am i the boy you dreamed of? oh living in your subconscious, oh do you believe in love? oh and is it because of me?"

which is like. from the very start of this song, we get the idea that adrien (since we're supplementing the speaker as adrien, you get it) exists only as a the dream of a boy his fans have of the perfect boy. they believe in love because they love him, but they don't love the real him, they love the 'adrien' that they've constructed in their minds

in the verse, we get:

"build your expectations saturated and inflated 'cause i was born to be your favorite make me complicated i'm modern and i'm dated because i was born to be your favorite"

which builds on the manufactured feeling of adrien agreste. his public persona as a model was built by gabriel to make money - he was literally constructed as a teenage heartthrob "born to be your favorite" so that his father could profit.

and in the pre-chorus, we get:

"build-a-boy, pick my pieces overjoyed‚ never leave your heart destroyed, i'm your boy custom-made your beloved getaway i'm your favorite holiday you'll never be alone with me"

which is like. adrien is constantly rebuilding himself to fit the ideals other people want from him, and other people are constantly rebuilding him in their minds to fit the ideals they have for him. he isn't his own person - he's always belonged to other people, custom-made, depending on their preferences, to be the most likable he could possibly be.

high definition

high definition falls into the category of "songs about adrien loving ladybug while trying to be in a relationship with kagami." in my mind, i hear adrien in this song talking to two separate 'you's - both kagami and ladybug.

when the song starts, giving us the chorus we get:

"i'd love to be in love with you enough to write a love song, mmh i need to feel needed and i need it more than i let on"

which is adrien speaking to kagami. he wants to love her because he knows she deserves it and she's an amazing girl, but he can't. but he still needs that affection she gives him because he's lacking it in other parts of his life.

in the second half of the chorus, we get:

"i'll be home just thinking about it, maybe call like i used to but i'll just stay alone because alone is safer than with you"

which, in my head, is where he transitions to talking to ladybug. he still thinks about her and he wants to be with her, but he recognizes that those wants aren't responsible while in a relationship with someone else.

in a verse, we get:

"i know i'm not around enough to make me worth the wait it's like who wants to be close with someone who always goes away? and even when they're here it's like where's your fucking head at? why's it take so long to text back? you're so bad at loving people back"

which is where we see his relationship with kagami devolve. (SEASON 4 SPOILERS) i mean, this is almost literally why kagami breaks up with him; he's always running off for seemingly no reason, and even when he was around, he was emotionally distant because of his feelings for ladybug.

telephone

telephone is a HUGE ladynoir song. this is a song about how much chat wants to be able to get to know ladybug, which gives us lines like:

"i'd like to know your middle name let's talk about your parents and your future dreams i'm interested but distant to a fault and i'd never want to complicate your heart"

which is just like!! he wants to know all the little information about her like her middle name and her parents, but he also wants to talk about her and her dreams. he wants to know her, outside of the mask, but he knows that's not something she wants, so he tries to keep these wants tamped down.

the second verse gives us:

"i talk a lot, but we could fill your frames with pictures of our faces 'til we share a name i'm living on a target and you shot it with an arrow now i lost my self-control, i can't stop thinking and i'm thinking that i lost it all these aisles feel like miles where you go, i'll follow"

which, again, expresses his desire to be with her in her civilian life, even fantasies about marrying her. he is so stupidly in love with her - and, as i've talked about before, he is absolutely devoted to her. wherever she goes, he'll follow.

never bloom again

never bloom again is a little too sad for my to comfortably label it a ladynoir song but this line:

"now all the girls in los angeles look like you from a distance i tried to give you space until i stepped away from your brain and now i just miss it"

is very adrien-loving-ladybug-esque. replace 'los angeles' with 'paris' and you get adrien trying to find ladybug's features in every girl he meets while still trying to give ladybug space on their secret identities.

[reboot]

[reboot] isn't a really an adrien song, but it does reference dream boy, which is worth mentioning. in the chorus, we get the line:

"i never promised you your dream boy i'm better as your chew toy"

which could be like adrien's actual thoughts on his placement as paris' and his father's manufactured dream boy persona. he's not actually everyone's dream boy, he's just a toy for them to use a destroy.

zone out

zone out is a huge adrien song because it is literally just dream boy. zone out acts as a break before the last song in the album, and it is the lyrics to dream boy set to a softer, more lullaby-esque tempo and instrumental sound. it's a lot sadder than the normal dream boy, and you can really feel the fact here that dream boy is not a love song.

with zone out, we have adrien's actual quiet, sad feelings about dream boy. he wants to fill the dream boy role for his father, but he can't, really, because he can never live up to that level of perfection. he will always fall short.

8. greatest hits

and with that we have reached the most recent waterparks album. this album plays with experimental genre sounds even more so than the previous two, but is still unmistakably the "waterparks" sound. the themes of this album are: strange dreams and nightmares, struggling with being in the spotlight, and wanting to feel loved

7/17 songs on this album can be considered adrien songs

lowkey as hell

lowkey as hell isn't overtly an adrien song but the chorus plays on the common themes we've seen before:

"if you need me now i'll be there somehow i'll pick you up, we can ride i'll fly away like i bought my own airline i'll take you with me, we can ride"

which is basically that adrien will always be around to do anything ladybug needs - if she ever has the need to call to him, he'll always find a way to be there for her.

violet!

i won't go too in depth about it, but violet! is about a stalker and their victim, who is the speaker, and you cannot tell me adrien does not have any stalkers at all with the way the show portrays his fame. he's probably had to deal with his fair share of crazy fans, so i thought i'd mention violet! here.

snow globe

also not an overtly adrien song, but we get these lines in one of the verses:

"’cause all i hear is 'i love you so much' but it starts to mean nothing when my heart is shut from you my heart is shut from you my little tiny world is in your hands so shake it like a snow globe fuck my plans"

which talks about how the love adrien experiences as a famous model isn't the kind of love he wants - he wants feel loved by his father. but gabriel just uses him for the company - he holds adrien's tiny world in his hands, and uses that grasp to shake up adrien's world and disrupt the relationships adrien has with the outside world.

the secret life of me

this song is about fantasizing about running away to a new life, or to a secret life away from responsibilities, so like. adrien about how he's chat noir.

in the chorus, we get:

"sunbathe looking like a sunday wishing for a someday i could run away like that now i think i need a life or maybe 9 'cause i feel like i’m running out of time, yea

which plays on the ideas of running away. it's really fitting, i think, because of the reference to wanting 9 lives, which is definitely a pun adrien would make as chat noir

american graffiti

this is another song about struggling with being in the spotlight, which relates to adrien. in the chorus, we get:

"yeah, you've been reading all about me and you're loving what you found i'm like american graffiti you want some glitter, drink it down yeah, you've been seeing all about me taking notes, yeah, write it down i'm like american graffiti if you need me, i'm here now if you need me, i'm here now"

which relates to the themes brought up during dream boy: we have this circumstance of people finding adrien, learning all there is to possibly know about him, and deciding that they love this version of him they see in the media. the "if you need me, i'm here now" also refers to the dream boy theme because of how this version of adrien that exists in most people's heads will always be there to comfort them and "love" them in a parasocial relationship.

fruit roll ups

fruit roll ups is yet another adrien-loving-ladybug song in which he talks about wanting to invite her over so they can watch movies together and also how much he feels for her.

in the first verse, we get the lines:

"when you talk it's in cursive to me and it's nicer than anything i'd believe about me it's like that shit was written in gel pen and i love those"

which is not. super important but it's cute! also the line "and it's nicer than anything i'd believe about me" also might refer to the way ladybug reassures him of his placement as a hero and a friend in her life, which are things he continually finds hard to believe. so it's also sad!

crying over it all

speaking of sad this last song is another adrien-loving-ladybug song and it is. sad.

the pre-chorus is:

"so practice your passion on me give me your 100 degrees i'll die off whenever you need an afternoon just to breathe soon everyone will be gone they'll forget my albums, i hope you'll be here when it's done and i'm crying over it all, yeah"

first of all. i go insane every time i hear the line "so practice your passion on me." now that we've gotten that out of the way let's continue on. we have the line "I'll die off whenever you need" which refers to chat's tendency to sacrifice himself for ladybug during akuma fights, and these lines also express that familiar desire he has of wanting ladybug to stay beside him after the events of whatever will happen next actually happen.

and in the chorus, we have:

"and all i think about is where you might be and when i'm swallowed down i'd say it's for you, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, oh i'd say it's for you, yeah, yeah, yeah"

which refers to how adrien wonders about ladybug when they're apart - he wants to know about her and how she spends her free time, but he can't know these things, not yet. and the line "and when i'm swallowed down / i'd say it's for you" would refer metaphorically (maybe sometimes literally) to the things he does during akuma fights for her to make sure they succeed.

and in another verse, we get:

"cherry red's your touch a touch i'm failing to feel, or feel enough to love you safely “who?”, “what?”, “when?”, and “why?” all drive me crazy please make me sane for you"

again using the phrase "cherry red" to refer to ladybug, her touch something that adrien can't feel enough of because their relationship is strictly platonic, but he wants more. he wants to know the 'who, what, when, where, and why's of her life, but he can't, and it drives him a little crazy. in contrast to being "stupid for her" back in double dare, he wants to be "made sane for her" so that he can have some feeling of peace in their relationship after getting rejected.

9. conclusion

the biggest conclusion we have here is that im insane. the second biggest conclusion we have here is that i have the amazing ability to project adrien onto a very large portion of waterparks' discography, and i'm right in doing so. an equally important takeaway is that adrien needs a hug and also that he loves ladybug. thank you for your time

#adrien agreste #ml meta #adrien agreste meta #miraculous ladybug #ml #mlb #my meta #literally if anyone reads this the full way through you are stronger than the us marines. i mean this literally #me: i will make a fun post about the songs i project onto adrien!#also me: takes it way too seriously #i should've just done it based on memory and saved everyone the trouble of this stupid huge post but im stubborn #and love making things harder for myself.#i literally looked at the lyrics for every single waterparks song and considered whether or not i could project adrien onto them #this post took me. an embarrassingly long time. so long. i will not say how long but so long.#and don't get me wrong. it's not embarrassing because of how long it took me - it's a long thorough post so obviously it would take long #what is embarrassing is the fact that it is a long post about projecting adrien agreste onto songs and also that i unironically reference #an mlb radio rebel au multiple times unironically throughout the course of this post. THAT is embarrassing #speaking of my mlb radio rebel au i really need to finish that. hopefully i can work on it over the summer #anyway. i have to go to sleep now because it's stupid o'clock. im running on fumes. everything's great #goodnight i WILL be reblogging this when i wake up. i want to burden as many people as possible with its existence as it has burdened me

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a-blue-secret · 3 years

Text

CHAPTER III

BACK TO MASTERLIST

Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV

GENRES: royal au; fantasy au; magic au; friends-to-enemies-to-lovers; king!beomgyu, vizier!taehyun

PAIRING: taegyu

WARNINGS: none

WORD COUNT: 2.5k+

AN: Nothing that happens here will have a major impact in the long term, but it's important in helping you to get to know Beomgyu a little better.

SUMMARY: Best friends turned enemies, Kang Taehyun has managed to trick Choi Beomgyu into his service, and to rule for a year and a day, until his youngest brother would be old enough to take the throne. Choi Beomgyu has no intention of being obedient however, and tries to thwart Taehyun’s orders at every turn. With a growing amount of distrust and lies within the court, will Taehyun manage to keep the kingdom of Gojongja from falling apart?

Now. This story has been told from Taehyun's perspective for two whole chapters and a prologue, so let's switch it up a little shall we?

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

Beomgyu glared daggers at his vizier's black coat tails as they whipped out of sight. He shook his head, sighing. Kang Taehyun was annoying, there was no doubt about that. But Beomgyu had to admit that he had a right to act like that. He knew he was being an absolute pain for the younger. But could he help it? No. Taehyun promised him he wouldn't have to come back to court, and yet here he was, ruling the very same court he vowed to never set foot in ever again. He should have known something was up when Taehyun wanted his service for a year and a day. He should have known. Well, Beomgyu presumed he wasn't thinking straight, because his ex-best friend had turned up at his door after three years of no communication. His common sense was bound to be clouded just a little by the sudden appearance of Taehyun.

Beomgyu glowered, shaking off any more thoughts of the younger. Taehyun had said going out to town was risky. Well Beomgyu was determined to prove him wrong.

"Seojung! You and the other guy- prepare me a carriage. I wanna go into town."

Seojung nodded, before hurrying off to find another footman. Beomgyu watched him go, before setting off back to his chambers. Just in case things did get a little violent, Beomgyu wanted to change into something more practical. He was quite fond of this ivory ruffled shirt, and didn't want it to become ruined.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

Beomgyu stared intently out of the carriage door as they rode through the streets. Now he properly thought about it, he hadn't truly been out of the castle in months.

Beomgyu peered at the fields they passed, noticing the diligent farmers working the land. As he poked his head out of the carriage to try and touch the branch of a tree as they passed it by, the carriage went over a pothole in the road, and he was suddenly knocked about, hitting his head on the top of the window frame. He let out a pained grunt, rubbing his head and retreating back into the safety of the carriage, grumbling about annoying coachmen. Though, it was actually his fault since he'd asked them to take the most secluded route, but that was just a small irrelevant detail that didn't need to be discussed.

When he deemed a road quiet enough to step out, he called to the coachman.

“Okay, stop here."

The carriage slowed, and one of the guards stepped off his horse to open the door for him. Beomgyu was slightly annoyed at the entourage of guards that were obligated to follow the carriage. He'd wanted this to be a low-key trip, but as the King, it seemed that he had to have several people follow him at all times.

Beomgyu stepped down into the streets, blinking slightly at the sun. They'd stopped in a quiet alleyway, where there were little people. He looked around him, took a few seconds to get his bearings, before setting off into the streets. Glancing behind him, he gave a slight huff of annoyance when he saw two guards trailing about three metres behind him.

Beomgyu, after Taehyun's words, had been prepared to be mobbed and crowded round as soon as he stepped into the public areas. However, much to his surprise, something else happened. Most people ignored Beomgyu. While it did feel rather strange to not be stared at, this oddly gave him comfort, as it made him feel like he’d returned to his old life again, instead of the extravagant palace life he now led. He looked around, and noticed why he was being ignored. There were lords even more extravagantly dressed than he was. Beomgyu scoffed a little as he saw a lord strut by, covered in shining golden fabric which caught the light as he walked. Beomgyu could immediately tell the fabric was nothing expensive, and smiled to himself.

He wandered around the streets, spotting the odd market stall every few houses or so. He stopped at one, and the lady managing the stall did a double take, before clumsily standing up to bow several times.

“Your Highness!” she stammered. “I- is there anything I can do for you?”

“Oh, nothing much,” Beomgyu said, smiling, gesturing for her to sit down. “But maybe, uh,” -he placed a finger on his lips- “about the Highness stuff? I’m not really meant to be out of the palace right now.”

“Of course,” the lady stuttered. He smiled at her, looking at the rice cakes a little wistfully. The castle had excellent chefs, but nothing beat the taste of homemade tteok. The woman saw him looking, and offered the rice cakes to him. “Would you like some?”

Now, it was Beomgyu’s turn to stammer in surprise. “I- I… would- would that be okay?”

She smiled, picking up one in a napkin. “If you would like, Your Greatness. I have not sold any all day, so they may be a little hard though.”

Beomgyu hesitated, before giving in and accepting the napkin. “Thank you,” he beamed. She bowed.

“It was my pleasure.” When he tried to offer her money, she shook her head. “Oh, I don’t need payment. It is payment enough for you to have come here.”

Beomgyu paused, but seeing the woman was firm, he sighed, putting away his money. “If you insist.” He looked around. “And if anyone asks, no I did not buy tteok from your stall. It’s a secret, okay?” He tapped the side of his nose and winked slightly, before calmly walking away.

He took a bite out of the tteok, and almost melted with happiness. It was a little hard, but it just made it taste even more real. Everything at the palace was too perfect. It all tasted as if it were manufactured to perfection. Beomgyu didn't know how Taehyun coped with it. He finished off the rice cake and dusted off his hands. One guard wordlessly stepped up to Beomgyu to take the napkin from him. Oh. He'd forgotten they were there. Beomgyu mentally shrugged. Oh well. They weren't that intrusive, now he thought about it. Perhaps they were okay.

He waited for the guards to catch up. When they didn’t, Beomgyu looked over his shoulder to find they were still in the same position, a few metres behind him. When he motioned for them to hurry up, they just stared stoically back at him. So this is how it is, huh? he thought, reluctantly turning around. Well.

He walked around the streets, receiving many shocked gasps from citizens who recognised him. For the most part, however, he was ignored, and it was completely fine by him.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

"Ooh." Beomgyu stopped at a stall, spotting a cool ruby brooch.

"Ah, you are interested sir?" the man spoke with a thick European accent. He must be a trader, coming over from other lands. "It is very precious, very precious. Lots of money."

Beomgyu picked up the brooch, running his fingers over the indentations and small ridges in the stone. It was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. "How much?" he asked the man.

"Uh…" The trader pointed to Beomgyu. "What money you have?"

"Huh?"

"You. Money. What money?"

"Oh, how much do I have?" When the man nodded, Beomgyu patted his pockets. "More than this is worth, I think."

The man took the brooch from Beomgyu, bringing it up to the light to squint at it. "This brooch, worth lots sir," he said. "Maybe…" He put the brooch down, and counted on his fingers. He frowned, thinking, before showing Beomgyu ten fingers. "Maybe more?"

Beomgyu smiled slightly. He was slightly confused as to what the trader meant, and tried to slowly back away. "It's very nice," he said, "but no thanks."

"Are you sure? Very pretty sir, it is very pretty."

Beomgyu shook his head politely before walking away. The man shrugged, and set the brooch down on his table, adjusting it until it was in just the right position.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

"What should I do?" Beomgyu wondered aloud, kicking up the sandy road as he walked. He looked behind him at the guards. "Wait, I just realised I don't know your name," he said to the other guy. He walked up to them, glad that they stayed still and didn't decide to step backwards. "You're Seojung, but I don't know who you are. What's your name?"

"Jisung, Your Greatness."

Beomgyu nodded. "That's cool. My mum was going to name me Jisung, you know. But,” he said, spinning around, looking around at the trees, “I suppose I quite like my name. Choi Jisung doesn’t sound as princely, does it?”

The two guards didn’t say anything, but Beomgyu, tired of being silent for so long, carried on talking.

“I can’t really talk so freely in court. Well, I still can’t talk freely out here, but in the palace all I do is just bicker with Taehyun.” He walked up to the tree, pulling down a branch slightly to smell the blossom. “It’s sad, really. We used to be best friends, but now we’re just like enemies. I really want us to be friends again, but…” Beomgyu sighed. “He’s betrayed me too much for me to think we can be close again.”

Beomgyu looked back at Seojung and Jisung. “Wait. I shouldn’t have told you that.” Beomgyu cursed in his head. They might be stoic and silent now, but he knew that they’d have no trouble gossiping about all they’d heard to the other guards. He thought for a moment. “Okay, there’s nothing else I can do. You guys are now promoted to my personal guards. From today onwards, you have no more contact with the lesser guards, and must discuss things with my other personal guards. I think I have two more? Yep. Bang Chan and Jung Inhyuk. And, since you’re now one of my personal guards, you have to talk to me.”

The two men looked at each other, before looking back at the King. No one had been promoted on such weird terms before. They both bowed. “Thank you, Your Greatness.”

“So! Where should we go?” Beomgyu mused aloud. “Do you know where we are? Come on, you’re allowed to speak. It’s fine.”

“I believe we are near the Hak-gil market, sire.”

“Hm… from here, I think I’ll actually be able to find the way to my house. Come on, let’s go.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

“Ta da! Welcome to my humble cottage,” Beomgyu proudly announced to the guards who still stood a little ways away from him. His arms, which had been thrown wide, dropped to his sides. “Oh, come here will you?” None of them moved. Beomgyu sniffed. “Fine. But you’re still coming inside whether you like it or not.” He pushed open the gate, walking along the familiar path towards his front door, before smiling nostalgically at the mat.

Suddenly, he shook his head. Why was he getting sentimental over a mat? It hadn’t even been three months, for crying out loud. He sighed a little playfully to himself, before turning around to see the guards still standing on the other side of the gate. “Seriously?” he called to them. “This is literally like a game of ‘Red Light, Green Light’. Are you going to stay still? Or will I have to send you back to the beginning?” When his little joke received no response from the two men, he frowned. “Okay look, does anyone have the key to my home? I wanna go inside.” Neither of them moved. Beomgyu was growing a little frustrated by their lack of response.

“You know what? I command you to answer me,” Beomgyu said. “Do any of you have the key to my cottage?”

Finally, (finally!) Seojung shook his head. “No, sire.”

Beomgyu sighed sadly. He walked around to the side of the house, peering in through the window. He could see into his living room from here, and could make out the small table and his bookshelf packed tight full of books. When he squinted, he could make out the china tea cup resting on the table. On the day of the Crown Handing, he'd left the house in a rather messy state, because he thought he'd be able to come back to the house soon enough.

The plan had been simple. Go to the Crown Handing, crown Kang Junghoon, leave court to never come back. Only, he thought, things hadn't turned out to be that simple, had they? He smiled a little bitterly, staring intently at the teacup. And then, after he'd been (unwillingly) crowned, he'd been too busy alternatively sulking and preparing for his coronation. By the time he was King, asking to go back home to tidy it up seemed foolish.

Beomgyu straightened, before strolling around to the front door again. He walked up to it's duck egg blue front, spotting where the paint was forlornly beginning to peel off. Leaning down, he pressed his eye against the keyhole, like a child would do. There was nothing much in the front of his house, but it was a fun thing to do. He took his eye away from the keyhole and looked wistfully at the front door, before stepping away and walking back down the path. “Okay. Looks like we’re going back home.”

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

Back at the palace, Beomgyu was walking to his chambers when he spotted Yeonjun. The Lord caught sight of the King, and came up to him and bowed.

"Your Greatness. Do you happen to know where the Grand Vizier Taehyun is?"

"A King, ignored in his own palace in favour of his advisor?" Beomgyu joked. "As of Kang Taehyun's whereabouts, I'm afraid I have no idea where he is. May I ask, why are you looking for him?"

"Oh, just to confirm a few details of the contract," Yeonjun explained. He bowed again. "Good day to you, Your Greatness." He was about to leave, when Beomgyu stopped him.

"Wait. Since one of the rules is for you to get us to trust you, do you want to start with that?"

Yeonjun hesitated. "Um, I suppose it depends what you have in mind?"

"Some archery, friendly fencing match, maybe a horse riding session? You look to me as if you are very athletic." Beomgyu raised his eyebrows, patiently waiting for Yeonjun's answer.

"Wouldn't your vizier disapprove of you not keeping to your schedule?"

"Pfft. My main goal in life is to annoy Taehyun so this works exactly in my favour. No but seriously, it's okay. I have no schedules today so I'm free to do whatever."

"In that case, I will gladly accept your offer, Your Greatness."

Beomgyu and Yeonjun began to walk off in the direction of the sports courtyard.

"Oh yeah, we're gonna have to do something about that if we want to get to know each other better. When there are no servants, you're going to have to just call me Beomgyu, and I'll just call you Yeonjun."

#court of lies #beomgyu #taegyu #taehyun #txt beomgyu #txt fanfic #txt taegyu #txt fluff #txt taehyun #txt angst #tomorrow by together #tomorrow x together

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gay-simple-and-chaotic · 3 years

Text

really the tldr on the last post is “wtf why are people using apologist to mean sympathizer” and then “wtf why is c!dream apologist somehow being used to mean victim blamer D:????”

Because like

I don’t know what the hell happened to c!Dream after the L’manburg arcs but he fucking fell apart and before then he seemed human

And then he underwent this fucking metamorphosis into “HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL” and I started wondering what parallel universe they were now filming in if that makes sense

This is why I personally have on-the-side possession/dreamon headcanons but I leave them out of my actual analysis bc if I could explain away Dream’s actions with “oh, he was literally not himself” it takes away a lot of nuance from Tommy and the others and it’s only okay in aus where I make everyone happy again and give them healing arcs, not serious analysis.

Also why the hell would someone say that c!Tommy’s abuse was justified overall?? Like sure from Dream’s perspective Tommy was “causing problems” and “making things difficult” and all that shit but let’s be real, his perspective is unreliable, unstable, and incredibly self-centered to the point of him having no empathy, sympathy, or compassion for anyone else. Even if he USED to have these things, they’re gone by exile. Maybe even before. But people don’t like to discuss what could’ve happened; they go “child abuser” and then move on. That’s WHY I’m an apologist; because raising an argument in his defense, even on one action, can make someone stop and think about potential nuance that his character has instead of boiling him down to being his worst traits. Y’see where I’m coming from? Maybe I have a game of russian roulette as a moral compass or something but like, I just enjoy analyzing characters and playing devil’s advocate sometimes (like for c!Quackity or c!Sam! I don’t like them At All, but I’ll pause my dislike to do analysis!) and there’s this mentality of “No. Is bad, or good, no grey. Grey bad.” in the fandom that hurts actual deconstruction. I’ve taken him apart in ways that make him even worse; “he was manipulating everyone all along and his mask just started to fall apart when he couldn’t handle Tommy, who was too unruly and disobedient for him to crush without using extremes”, I’ve taken him apart in sympathetic ways, “he had lived a peaceful, happy life with his friends and suddenly these people began appearing, breaking laws and fighting his authority in a way that completely freaked him out. They’re forming a country. And for some reason this kid is at the center of it all. Maybe if he took away those things that the kid likes, they’d stop, they’d go back to how it was. Maybe if he fought them they’d stop trying to do this. Maybe if he blew it up, it wouldn’t come back.”

The sympathetic ways often come out longer! Because they deal with a gradual deterioration and a sudden snap after everything becomes too much.

The unsympathetic ways usually are that he just inherently is a sadistic, abusive, manipulative person who finds it funny to use people, absolutely needs to have control of everything/everyone all the time, and ended up snapping at c!Tommy being “too much to handle” because everyone else was too afraid to stand up to him.

oh god I need a tldr

tldr im an apologist so i can make people think about potential nuance and not just the horrific character weve been presented with. ive taken c!dream apart a bunch of different ways including highly plausible “evil for evil’s sake” ones, and i still think that considering all possibilities is really important

#James talks

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just-zenitsu · 4 years

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Zenitsu should've had an arc where he slowly learns how to love himself with the help of his friends and realizes he's not weak and has worth and doesn't deserve pain and doesn't deserve to be treated like shit- I just want him to have some shred of confidence please please please please please ple-

ok so every time i had an ask like this ive always just said ‘but look at the bright side! what are hc and aus for! gotoge had problems,, etc etc’ and i feel like ive always just glossed u guys over and maybe even made it seem like these opinions dont matter so im gonna take the time to try and answer this a smidge seriously (under read more bc its long, also im not tagging bc tumblr might fuck up the formatting again rip) (also warning for manga spoilers)

(also disclaimer sdjfhksd i havent read the manga! so im gonna go off of other people’s claims about zenitsu having wasted potential. and to be fair ive read the few last chapters, or at least PARTS of them)

im not new to having a favorite character whose more or less claimed to have had a lot of potential but losing it in canon bc of, for a lack of a more general term, ‘’bad writing’’. and im not saying kny has bad writing, i dont think im one to judge that JUST yet but for comparison yall should know that i have a fav character in another series that is written so badly that he has the personality of cardboard and was only given life thanks to fanon content. and i dont blame people when they say they dont like said character! its the same as zenitsu, only that this guy, this yellow idiot, actually has a much more solid grasp on how he acts/feels/does things! but more often than not, this linear perspective does damage to how deep his character actually goes, thus just making him the stereotypical ‘pervert’ in an anime. ive seen people say that he’s just the same as mineta!!! which is just. very sad for me

i understand why they’d think like that though, maybe there wouldve been a difference if kny became more popular b4 bnha, but who knows! anyways, back to zenitsu. now, i understand if people ever found his actions uncomfortable or annoying! but when people say that he’s just a crybaby and that he’s literally just dead weight that’s when i get,,, well, iffy. and this is kinda where the frustration comes, we see zenitsu overcoming these obstacles off screen, apparently it was even only just mentioned in a passing comment that zenitsu had stopped having to fall asleep to do missions and cried less when he was going on solo missions. these are the tidbits that i wish was shown more explicitly in canon, showcasing his growth and such. MAYBE it was touched upon once kaigaku came up, but thats another problem, literally kaigaku only showed up once in a flashback and then suddenly he’s a demon? sure a brief flashback that showed him being in gyomei’s orphanage wouldve been enough to put some light, but i think there was still some things that wasnt touched upon when we discuss how kaigaku was portrayed in canon. i think he’s even MORE misunderstood compared to zenitsu. they have (arguably) been in the same situation in their childhood, have drastically different personalities and dealt with it in their own way, but in the end i think he was just used so that zenitsu had a big bad he had to defeat. i think there wouldve been more impact if we were shown thunder fam interacting more, imagine how cool that wouldve been, ESPECIALLY if kaigaku just wasnt thrown into the manga and was given a chance to interact with kamaboko before hand. just, a lot to think about.

and now we have what happened in the last few chapters, w tanjirou becoming a demon and after all that zenitsu just says something along the lines of ‘ill make u pay for hurting me and my future wife (nezuko)’ which sucks to a degree. but count the fact that gotoge was inching towards zennezu, as i mentioned in a previous post, he was worried about nezuko getting hurt by tanjirou. im also a bit disappointed that he didnt really do much in terms of, well, caring for tanjirou, but one GOOD thing that i really liked happening was in the previous chapters bEFORE tan got turned to a demon, the part w him assuring inosuke that he can still hear tanjirou’s heartbeat, and then consecutively screaming at tanjirou that he had to stay alive, he went as far to say that he hears nezuko’s human heartbeat and that he has a family to return to, which was, surprise surprise, apparently somewhat a LIE! i cant confirm this unfortunately since ive long since lost the explanation but someone said that zenitsu wasnt actually able to hear nezuko’s heartbeat then, meaning he lied for tanjirou’s sake bc he knew that if he’d pull through something, he’d pull through it for nezuko. (there’s also that part where zenitsu fought hard to keep this family alive since well, he doesnt have one to return to, which is just. ouch) another thing i liked about this part is that he wasnt!!! crying!!!, but both inosuke and tanjirou were and dont u just love the irony. dont u just love it when zenitsu, resident crybaby of the demon slayer corps, is the one who shouts at the both of his friends, who are usually the ones pushing him, yelling at him to stop sniveling and fight, to raise their chins up and to not give up? i think these few moments are JUST ABSOLUTELY TASTY.

but. unfortunately, they are glossed over once we have what happened in chapter 203.

tl/dr; zenitsu’s character is something much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. these points overshadow the fact that he’s a kind person, who was willing to protect nezuko despite knowing she was a demon just BECAUSE he trusted tanjirou that much and that he had a kind sound! he’s willingly THROWN HANDS when someone talked bad about kaigaku, a person he ADMITTED HE HATES, because he respects them as a person! zenitsu is much more than a crybaby who’s a pervert and annoying. if only canon were able to explain much more clearly than these few tidbits that we were given.

//im crying at the club im so sorry this is so long oh god oh fuck. anyways ive been disappointed time and time again and ive long since really stopped looking forward to the best to my fav characters and ive been p negative in previous fandoms so its why i avoided complaining like this in this blog but yeah kjfhkjsdf thank u for reading,,,

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scottspack · 4 years

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My Wife Has An 18 Hour Drive Fic Rec Roundup

I wanted to make a fic rec post for the insane amount of Untamed fic ive been reading anyways, and Chi @got2ghost is driving halfway across the country tomorrow, so there’s no time like the present to put all of the really great fics ive read over the past couple of weeks in one location! Let’s get it poppin!

Ones That Chi Already Read:

A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k)

The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.

I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt completely and wholly fulfilled by the resolution found in this fic. 10/10 cant recommend enough.

One Rouge Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan E, 5k)

He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.

In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!!

Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.

This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he brings him back from the Burial Mounds until they bring Wuxian back to Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I reread this fic at LEAST once a week. *chefs kiss*

Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)

or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage

***

He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.

That impression does not last.

A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Wangji and Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and the peacock?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)

Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)

Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."

"Can I be of any assistance with it?"

He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."

In the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.

Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."

WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.

Ones That Chi Has Yet To Read:

My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k)

“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.

“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

Or: The story of a marriage.

I LOVE THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it.

The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)

Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.

Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.

Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.

The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....

A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k)

“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”

Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”

Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.

Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)

The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.

"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"

Lan Jingyi comes of age.

A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.

Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)

Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.

"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.

Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.

A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!

This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)

Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?

Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.

To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.

Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.

Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!

History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)

“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”

Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.

Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of his cousin Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.

Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)

In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.

(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)

I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)

“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

“I think so,” Sizhui says.

“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

“Yes,” Sizhui says.

“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.

Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)

“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”

Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.

“I’m all right,” he croaks.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.

The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”

Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."

Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.

"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."

At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

It’s smut! What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!

Sweet Night by thejillyfish (Wangxian, E, 10k)

It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.

That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.

In-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!

Shadows In The Sun Rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k)

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”

Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is.....fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

WHEW OKAY that’s enough for right now!

I’m constantly reading new fics all the time so maybe eventually I’ll make a second one if Chi actually reads/likes any of these (they’re picky!), or if anyone else likes this list and wants updates.

TO CHI: Thank you for getting me into The Untamed! I love you! I had the best time texting you every thought that passed through my head while I watched it. I’ve loved all of the content you’ve sent me from the book and the comic. I’ve loved making fun of Yibo with you. I’ve loved being your fic taste tester. Life sucks right now but at least we have wangxian!

TO EVERYONE ELSE: If you read any of these fics please come to my DMs and talk to me about them! I have a lot of feelings and love to cry over fics! Thank you!

#the untamed #fic #WHEW BABY THIS IS A LOT #i did in fact just spend two full hours making this #i dont regret it at all bc im bad about bookmarking things so im glad this forced me to go back through my ao3 history #and actually make a record of the fics ive read and loved #theres SO MUCH talent in this fandom #just a crazy amount #from the fan artists to the fic writers to the gif makers #i forgot how fun being in a fandom is when the canon is good and the fans are creative!#i said it on my sideblog but this has been the first time ive EVER read fic for a fandom #where i wasnt exclusively reading fics about a certain pairing getting together #i literally just want to read any and everything about this universe #regardless of pairing or rating or whatever else #which is not at all my usual style #shout out to the untamed for being a good fucking show and for having like four other canon adaptions #theres just so much to work with and the fic writers absolutely kill it #ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU CHI #HAVE A SAFE TRIP TOMORROW

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yeaimfishboi · 5 years

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After the Midnight Hour | Chapter IV: A Fight to Remember

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Genre: Mafia!AU, angst, a wee bit of floof, and some heated situations?

Warnings: Blood, gore, swearing, character death, etc. Fight scenes in this chapter (yes I said scenes)

Summary: Y/N has always taken care of her sister. Her sister is all she has, but she can no longer afford it. She calls her old best friend for help where she is introduced to a loan shark. Will everything turn out alright for Y/N or will it go awry?

A/N: So sorry about the long wait!! This chapter had been done for a while but I was super insecure with my writing skill and was crazy scared to post it, but here it is!! I’ve edited this like 17 times so hopefully it turns out good! Tell me what you guys think!! P.S Tumblr mobile can suck a dick

“So are there only guys in your gang?” you asked trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Technically there are only guys within the gang itself, you would be the first girl, but some of the guys have girlfriends so there are women here if that’s what you were asking.” Jaehyun smiled as he nudged you.

“Who’s all got girlfriends?” you asked quietly.

“Well, Taeyong has a wife, and then Hansol, Taeil, Kun, Doyoung, Jungwoo, Johnny and Ten all have girlfriends.”

“Oh yeah! I can’t wait to meet Ten’s girlfriend! If someone can put up with him like that, then they are one tough son of a bitch,” you chuckled.

“What about me? I have to put up with him!” Jaehyun retorted back at you, throwing a towel at your face.

“Do you have to share a bed with him?” you smirked at him throwing the towel back.

“Touché,” he smiled. “So, umm how’d you learn to fight like that? You’re a girl, you know? Girls, don’t just fight.”

“Well, Ten and I used to spar when we were younger. I learned the basics of fighting because I was trying to overpower someone 3 years older than me, but when I got older, I had to move to a really bad part of town and needed to learn to defend myself. I learned a lot of it myself because I was able to look at peoples fighting styles from an analytical perspective. Although I did get a little help from an old boyfri-”

Your conversation was interrupted by a wave of testosterone entering the room. Dozens of feet scuttling across the hard floor, whispering questions and concerns. Mainly trying to figure out why Taeyong called them down. Stomps of steel-toed boots found their way closer and closer to you and Jaehyun, signaling that someone needed to speak to you.

“JUNG JAEHYUN!” that damn booming voice. Why did Ten have to take the fun out of every little thing you did?

“I thought she was going to be sparring me?” Ten yelled again as he pushed Jaehyun. Jaehyun, compared to his foil, remained as calm as a midnight sea. Not even bothering to respond to the older boys childishness.

This, however, seemed to bother Ten. Right before he was going to push Jaehyun again, you grabbed Ten by the ear and dragged him to the corner of the training room where you could be left scold him on your own.

“Alright, I get it!!” Ten choked out as you let go, to which you responded with a smack to the backside of his head, “ow.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? I’m not a child anymore. You don’t need to go around protecting me from all the bad in the world. I can handle myself, who the hell do you think made the choice to not spar with you?” His face contorted into that of realization but also with a little mix of fear. “Yeah, it was me, idiot.” Your scolding was interrupted by a woman stepping up next to him and hugging him. You were going to let him have it, but you could only assume the girl was his girlfriend and you didn’t want to leave a bad impression. “You’re so fucking lucky she’s here or else,” you took a deep breath and started backing up towards where Jaehyun was, “you know what, just if you do it again I’ll-”

“You’ll beat me with a shovel. Yeah, I know,” he shook his head as you walked off.

“So when does the fight start?” you questioned as you approached Jaehyun who was conversing with Taeyong.

“Y/N? Are you really fighting WinWin?” You were stopped before you could reach the two. You turned towards the voice and recognized him to be the youngest of the group.

“Yes Jwi, but I promise I’ll be fine,” you smiled as you ruffled the tall boy’s hair.

“You haven’t seen her in action!” Jaemin butted in.

“She’s badass!” Mark chuckled wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“She was only fighting you two idiots; anyone could take you!” Haechan chuckled before Mark and Jaemin started chasing him. You smiled at the youngest boy, silently telling him you were fine before motioning him off to go hang out with his friends before returning to Jaehyun and Taeyong.

“That’s who you’re fighting,” Taeyong pointed to a moderately tall young man who was conversing with Yuta and two other people. He didn’t seem like he’d be too much of a fight, but you knew that the soft looking ones always were the ones to watch out for. You learned that the hard way.

Taeyong carefully placed a hand on your shoulder as he motioned you to the center. He slightly nodded at the man named WinWin, you figured it was a signal for him to come over to the center as well. He walked over to the center and sweetly smiled at you. You could tell almost immediately that he had a big, kind, heart, but you also knew you would 100% not want to get on his bad side. He had that look in his eyes.

“Listen up idiots! This is Y/N, she is a new member of the gang. According to Jaehyun, Mark, and Jaemin she’s a pretty impressive fighter, and from the short time I spent with her,” Taeyong winked at you before he continued on, “I can tell she has got some fire in her.”

You were so confused, just utterly confused. You turned and whispered to WinWin, “what’s with the fucking men around here acting like I’m a piece of fucking steak? What are they? Starved wolves in the midst of mating season? Is he trying to make it look like I slept with him?”

WinWin chuckled at your comment, “You’ll find that some of us are far from that.” You breathed a sigh of relief at his reassuring words, hoping it to be true. You turned back to Taeyong and continued listening to him.

“Today, she has taken it upon herself, to fight WinWin,” you heard a lot of hushed whispers, it seemed a lot of people didn’t think you could take him on. Well, at least all but the three people who just witnessed you fight. You watched Taeyong back up to where the rest of the people were and say “Well, you know, fight!”

You and WinWin turned to each other and gave the other a solemn smile. One that said that you didn’t want to hurt the other. You were in position for only a few seconds before WinWin charged at you, but you quickly moved out of the way before he could get to you, your shoe making a screeching noise as it scratched against the smooth concrete, although your efforts did not help with the outcome. WinWin swung around with a quip and managed to land a punch to your gut. The blow sent you back a few steps with a sharp pain surging through your abdomen. You analyzed his moves with haste, trying to find his weaknesses, but thinking wasn’t the best decision as a whirring noise flew closer toward you. WinWin swiped his feet under your knees and you landed on your rear with a stinging pain shooting from your tailbone and up your side. You managed to get back onto your feet with a flip before he got another shot in. You thrust your fist toward him hearing a loud crack as it made contact with his jaw. He swung back but missed as you jerked your head to the side.

The more you dodged his moves and tried getting in some hits of your own, you realized that he doesn’t have any easy weaknesses to point out. That’s why he’s NCT’s best fighter, you thought.

The wheels in your head started turning. He has no weaknesses, not unless he had one that was so obvious that people commonly overlooked it, you pondered.

You decided to try something to see if it would work. It was a shot in the dark You did a roundhouse kick, your foot hitting him point blank in the sternum. You felt the impact that shot from up your foot and into your thigh. Within seconds he fell to the ground clutching his chest.

Before he could pull himself up off the ground you had your foot placed back on top of his chest so he couldn’t. You stood over him looking him in the eyes both of you panting due to exhaustion, him quietly and slowly accepting his defeat.

You felt someone grab your right wrist and swing your arm in a quick upward motion. You were panting with sweat dripping from your pores and down your cheeks. You felt the pains coursing through your body now that your adrenaline wasn’t pumping full force. You felt the sharp aches in your ribs, the stinging in your knuckles, and the soreness in your gut. You looked to your right and saw Taeyong holding your arm up to signify that you had won. You scanned the room around you. You saw a lot of looks of disdain and confusion. Eyes and noses scrunched; eyebrows furrowed. All of them because you, a girl, just defeated their best fighter. Your kids looked so happy for you and were cheering like they were at some sort of high school football game. Jaehyun had his thumbs pointed up, signaling to you that he was proud of you. You started smiling at people’s reactions until you stopped on one in particular. Ten looked at you as if he was totally shocked that you had the ability to beat him, let alone WinWin. Seeing his reaction made your face fall exponentially. All you wanted to do was run out of the room and start crying your eyes out, but you couldn’t you had appearances to keep up.

You released your hold on WinWin and helped him up off the ground. “That was actually pretty tough. I give you props. I can definitely see why you’re their best fighter,” you smiled and excused yourself as the tears threatened to fall. WinWin definitely noticed.

You found yourself walking as far away from the training room as possible wiping the tears that ran down your cheeks trying to hide your obvious upset. You found yourself in a random hallway and you just slid down the wall quietly sobbing.

You stopped when you felt a large presence sink down beside you. It was not ominous or scary but warm and familiar. You quickly tried to hide your tears before they confronted you.

“Y/N, you don’t have to hide from us,” you turned to your side and saw Jisung, and next to him were Haechan, Jeno, and Chenle. “Tell us what’s wrong. Just because you are our mother figure doesn’t mean we can’t comfort you,” even though Jisung was only 16, he definitely had an old soul.

“Does he honestly think I’m that fragile and weak? Does he honestly think that it’s so heinous for me to be able to win that battle? God, maybe that's why we stopped talking all those years ago. Why does he seem to think that he’s in charge of me? I’m a grown woman-” you were interrupted by the presence of someone else. Jaehyun.

“Whoa, slow down there,” Jeno, Chenle, and Haechan walked away from the two of you as Jaehyun sat next down next to you on the wall, but you could still see Jisung in the back as he watched over you. “Listen, he’s probably just shocked you had that in you. Remember he hasn’t seen you fight in how long? You’re basically his little sister. He has ought to be protective of-” Jaehyun was interrupted by a booming voice you knew very well, and it was yelling at you. Ten.

“Y/N! What in the hell were you thinking? You could’ve gotten hurt!”

“You were saying?” you rolled your eyes towards Jaehyun, sighing at the fact that Ten, of course, had to go and get angry over the silliest of reasons.

“You seriously thought that was a good idea?” he was getting closer to you, yet his volume never differed. “God, you can be such an idiot sometimes!”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” At this point, you couldn’t just stand by and let him belittle you like this. “I’m not a fucking child anymore! you can’t treat me like someone that can’t take care of themselves! You are so possessive and protective over me when it isn’t necessary! Do you do that to your girlfriend? No, obviously.” Your growing voice kept getting more intense as you riled yourself up. “You have no clue what I’ve been through these past three years, and it’s not like you even tried. You’re the one who abandoned me when I needed you most!”

“Ok, that’s it, you’re coming with me,” Jaehyun pointed at you, “Ava, you take him. No arguing right now,” Jaehyun picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. As he started to walk off, you turned to look at Ten.

“Please, Rolly Polly, I did it for you.” God, that son of a bitch, you thought, now I have to forgive him. You and Ten had nicknames for each other since you were both young, and each one meant something different. You had nicknames for almost every situation that you two may not want the world to know about. Sometimes they were questions, or they were demands that the other had to follow no matter what. When Ten calls you Rolly Polly it means I fucked up, I’m sorry, and it also is a nickname that requires the other to forgive them without hesitation, just like if you called him Chipmunk. He’s only ever used it once, which means he knows that he really screwed up. The only other way to let the other know you understand/forgive them/say yes is to respond with the corresponding nickname. Like when Ten called you Rolly Polly you would respond with “Chipmunk” in some form or another.

Except for this time, you didn’t have time to respond to Ten as Jaehyun literally had you swung over his shoulder and dragged you away.

You could’ve gotten out of his grip if you wanted to but you didn’t want to hurt him so you just quietly hung there like a sloth after a long day in the heat.

“Why the hell did you grab me?” you yelled at him as he placed you down in his room. “I’m not a toy nor am I your property. I’m a grown girl, I can handle things on my own.”

“Don’t get angry with me. All I did was take you away from him, and plus you have a mission to get ready for. Your outfit and all the things you might need are on the bed. Lena and Ava will be here in about an hour or so to do your makeup. Then Taeyong will review everything, and we leave.”

“I need to take a shower,” you muttered.

“Shit,” he huffed, “I didn’t even think of that. My bathroom is right there. I have some shampoo and stuff in there. I’ll be there in a little bit with some towels, okay? I promise I won’t look unless you want me to.”

“Gross. That was gross,” you scoffed at him as you walked into his bathroom. It was fairly big compared to what you were used to. You scanned the brown tile room, taking in your surroundings before locating the shower. You shed your tattered clothes gradually and stepped into the shower. It was still a little wet and it smelled of men’s shampoo, or at least what you thought men’s shampoo would smell like.

You turned it on, slid down the wall, and just started quietly sobbing. The walls you had built starting to crash all around you. All the fear, pain, and heartache gushed out of you.

Tag List: @atwoodscott @jewel-s-blog @sondontdothat @eggjorp Let me know if I missed you or if you’d like to be added to the tag list!! Please give me feedback, I love when you guys do!!

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snowbellewells · 5 years

Text

CSRomCom18: While You Were Sleeping // Part Eight

Sheesh, I am so sorry it has taken this long to get the last installment of this fic to you guys! I hope if you’re still reading, you’ll enjoy the happy conclusion (and the nods to the original movie, which I adore, along with those to Captain Swan and their relationship). Thanks so much for reading this little movie AU. I’d love to hear what you think!

Part Eight

by: @snowbellewells (Also on AO3 with the same username and on ff.net as TutorGirlml)

Looking back on the next few days from the settled perspective of years later, Killian Jones was still never quite able to pinpoint when exactly things snowballed so quickly out of control. Doubtless, once his mother and grandmother learned Liam was awake and eager to reacquaint himself with the fiancé they had already fallen in love with and welcomed into the family fold, their enthusiasm swept things along at rather inevitable speed. Where he expected Emma to balk at being swept up in his family’s wake, or for Liam’s missing chunks of memory to return and remind him that he barely knew this woman everyone claimed he loved, neither did any such thing. If occasionally he caught Emma’s eye across a room full of fabric samples and bridal magazines, and wished to tell her that she could still call the whole thing off over the babble of his family debating chicken or fish at the reception dinner, he also bit back the protest at the look within her dazzling green ones. Yes, she appeared a bit overwhelmed, but it was more a pleading sort of fear if he read it correctly. She seemed to be begging him to continue keeping their secret, to help her spare these people they both loved pain, and not to toss her out in the world alone once more.

He could kick himself now. Had he realized sooner what he truly felt and how strong it was, he would have told her he was the Jones brother falling in love with every little quirk she possessed - from the way she snorted with laughter to the way she raptly listened to his gran’s stories no matter how long they stretched, or the way she could debate comic book minutiae with Nick to a true nerdish degree that clearly thrilled his younger sibling. This farce he’d drawn she and Liam into - no matter how well-meant his original intentions - was strangling them now, and it hadn’t even been necessary. He hated to contemplate the anguished fallout for everyone if Liam did someday regain the rest of his memories - or the feelings Killian had always believed his elder brother still harbored for his first love.

Bloody prat that he was, he’d made a right muddle of things in his attempts to do right by all concerned. He accepted the fact that he had brought heartbreak on himself, but that he might have trapped Emma and Liam into a marriage that might never grow into love as he had first thought it could? That was unbearable. And the idea that Emma would bear the weight of anger and recrimination if the charade fell apart was also nearly more that he could stand. Yet, still Killian held back - no longer sure how to proceed and almost certain it was much too late to come clean. The damage had already been done.

~~~~~******~~~~~~******

Somehow, in a string of events quite beyond her comprehension, Emma knew that she was in this whole wedding farce well over her head, and with no way to swim back to the surface. All that time ago, when she’d jumped onto the rails and saved Liam Jones’ life, she had believed herself in love with him… or, at least the idea of him as he had appeared from afar. In all actuality, now that she had gotten to know him a bit beyond casual hellos and goodbyes in passing, he was every bit the pleasant and engaging gentleman she had supposed he would be, if a bit predictable and excessively proper at times.

For someone who really hadn’t even known her name or anything about her, he had been the model fiancé since waking up and being told she was his intended bride. The trouble was with Emma’s own disloyal heart - and of course, her uneasy conscience. She couldn’t escape the harsh truth that deep down she was deceiving Liam, that someday it would all come out, and he and his whole family would hate her for the hurt and unhappiness she could have prevented simply by being honest with them.

It wasn’t only that either. The other niggling reality which wouldn’t let her alone was that she knew now she didn’t truly love Liam Jones. Oh, he was still every bit as handsome as she had ever thought him; just as desirable and accomplished and successful - a true catch in every way but one. He wasn’t it for her. She couldn’t have known it when this whole fiasco began, but the Jones man she had longed for from afar was not the one who made her heart pound and her cheeks heat. He wasn’t the one who had shared his secret hopes and fears with her or come to know and understand her as she rarely allowed anyone to do. That was all Killian - and she had made it well nigh impossible for the younger Jones to love her in return.

Now, here she was in a side hall off the hospital chapel, wearing a ridiculously lacy confection of a white dress, about to marry the wrong man and quite possibly wreck both their lives because she couldn’t bear to stop being a part of something - a family - that she had never been allowed to experience before. Blowing out a short breath, Emma shook her clammy hands and tried to steel herself for the ceremony ahead. It suddenly seemed as if she couldn’t go forward or back, she was merely frozen where she stood with no right way out.

At that moment, David Jones, Liam and Killian’s father, appeared in the doorway that led through to the front of the small chapel, offering her a warm, comforting smile as he came to stand before her. He was happily standing to give her away (and gain her as one of his own at the same time), and he reached out to grip her upper arms bracingly as he faced her in the narrow hall, a calmly affectionate look on his face - just the sort of look Emma had always imagined a father of her own wearing when she had made him proud. ‘If he only knew the truth, he’d be anything but…’ her inner voice whispered unkindly, and Emma felt confession bubbling up her throat, just barely managing to clench her teeth and bite back the words that would make that accepting warmth on the older man’s face go cold. This was exactly how she had gotten into this mess. These people had given her the chance to know what a real family felt like, and she couldn’t give it up - no matter what kind of a liar it made her.

“Ready for the big moment?” David asked gently, his motions soothing as he first enveloped her in a hug, then straightened and offered her his arm to lead her down the aisle.

Emma merely nodded wordlessly, her mouth unbearably dry all of a sudden, and she found that her hand was trembling as she looped it through David’s crooked elbow. She could only hope he would chalk it up to normal wedding jitters rather than her emotions going haywire or her guilty conscience.

As if she didn’t already feel badly enough for all her repeated falsehoods, just as they reached the double doors that lead into the chapel down its center aisle, the Jones family patriarch leaned in to murmur softly, but with heartfelt sincerity, “I’m glad to have you joining our family.”

Drawing in a tight breath, Emma smiled, actually wanting little more than to be one of them as well. However, she also swayed on her feet slightly, wishing it weren’t with these sorts of strings and deceptions attached. Somehow it seemed she barely blinked and they had slipped through the entryway arm-in-arm and they were halfway down the aisle, an off-duty reception nurse Nick had enthusiastically enlisted playing the Wedding March on the organ in the corner to accompany their steps.

This was her wedding! And yet, Emma felt herself breaking out in a cold sweat, wishing there were some way she could pause, even for a moment, to bring things back under control. As they neared the altar at the end of the aisle, the spot for once witnessing a happy occasion instead of pleading, broken family of the critically ill and injured, Emma’s gaze landed on Liam, standing tall despite still having an IV pole next to him, fluids still feeding into his right arm. He, or someone in his overzealous family, had attempted to tame and slick back his normally riotous curls, and he offered her a hesitant but hopeful, genuine smile as she came to stand beside him, offering her his large and steady hand.

She placed her fingers in his grasp, hoping he would also forgive the trembling he must feel just as his father had. Biting her lower lip, Emma offered a tentative smile in return. The prospect of marrying this steady, caring man - one whom she had blatantly admired for some time - shouldn’t be filling her with hesitation and dread, and seeing his willingness to stand up with her, even not knowing how they had come to be together, nearly made her resolve to carry this whole thing through.

And then her eyes caught Killian’s over his brother’s shoulder where he stood as best man. The enthralling blue she’d grown used to glimpsing, gazing into her soul, was muted and pained, even as he too offered her a crooked smile. Clearly, he was doing his best to step out of the way, to help her keep her secret and to support his brother’s happiness, and so he said nothing. Yet Emma had come to know him well enough now to understand he had all the same doubts she was holding in, and unless she was only reading what she wished to see, a measure of the same pain and regret she wasn’t going to be able to ignore.

Standing there one moment longer, Emma let her eyes trace over Killian’s features once more before moving to Liam, David, and the faces of the rest of the Jones clan seated to her left. If she was about to ruin everything, she wanted to be sure to fix in her mind everyone she would be giving up, the family she could have had. Then she drew in a breath, squared her shoulders and faced her groom to finally admit the truth.

“Wait, please…” she interrupted, halting the music and drawing the rapt attention of everyone in the room. “There’s something I need to tell you...all of you.” She forced herself to meet Liam’s eyes steadily - he deserved that much from her - but gestured to the rest of his family around her.

Liam, for his his part, nodded kindly, indicating she should go ahead and that he was listening. Emma swallowed hard, trying to tell herself he wasn’t about to hate her. “I’m not who you think I am. I mean, I am Emma Swan, and I did save your life after you were mugged, but ...we were never engaged. One of the nurses misunderstood the situation when you were brought in. I only wanted to know that you’d be alright - but then everyone believed I was your fiancé before I could correct them. And then I met you - all of you - “ she glanced at Ruth, Margaret, Nick, and David. “You welcomed me into your home, made me a part of your family, and I - I just fell in love. I didn’t want to let you go.”

She ended with her eyes on David, a father figure like she’d never known before, and he had a near-comical look of stunned confusion on his face. “With me?” he repeated densely, trying to catch up and absorb all she had just told them.

A rather undignified snort escaped her - half laugh, half sob - as her eyes fell to her feet. Shaking her head, Emma raised her face once more to answer him. “Well, your entire family…. A-and your son.”

David Jones nodded, still not quite grasping her meaning, or the real problem. “Well, yes, obviously. Isn’t that why we’re here?”

With a teary smile, Emma had to shake her head ‘no’ once more. Gesturing around Liam’s solid form toward Killian, she clarified, “Not that son...that one.”

She heard gasps from their assorted audience, even as Killian took a step forward, eyes sparkling mischievously and one corner of his mouth tilting upwards with more confidence. “Killian, what did you do?” she heard his mother admonish, scandalized. Emma’s eyes met Killian’s despite the chaos quickly growing around them, and it was all either of them could do not to burst out laughing.

Even as the others began to stand and press forward, all asking questions and talking at once, Emma forced herself to turn back to face the older Jones brother, truly sorry if she had hurt him and needing him to understand that she had never intended any of this. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, under the hubbub rising in the room.

To her relief, Liam merely nodded in quiet understanding and stepped to the side, allowing Killian to move just a bit closer. The elder brother went to his gran, who looked to be swaying on her feet a bit stunned, and was clinging to Nick’s arm tightly. Emma bit her lip, relieved and desperately anxious to speak to Killian, hoping against hope that maybe all was not lost, only to have his mother accost him just before he could reach her.

Their eye contact broken, Emma’s heart fluttered anxiously in her chest, all her fear and self-doubt welling up once more. The room seemed to be closing in as questions flew and the ludicrous nature of what she’d done settled upon her. She needed to get out of there before she did anymore damage. Honestly, her decisions so far had caused Killian’s whole family enough stress and difficulty; hanging around hoping that they would let her back in after this was more than Emma felt she deserved.

In the midst of the clamor, there was suddenly a loud thump as the doors at the end of the aisle swung open again and hit the wall with the force. The sound of quick, determined footsteps charged down the aisle toward them. The small crowd of guests and family hurriedly parted to reveal a tiny spitfire of a brunette, hands on her slim hips and eyes crackling ferociously. Her petite frame was heightened by sky-high gold heels and a short, pleated skirt, but Emma sensed immediately that despite her deceptively fragile appearance, the woman was not one to be trifled with.

“Liam Jones!” the brunette demanded sharply, her voice causing the man in question to pull himself up straight as if snapping to attention. From the moment she had appeared, this woman had arrested Liam’s gaze completely, but now he was breathlessly focused on her awaiting her next words like air to breathe. “What is going on here?!?” she continued, her tone harsh with indignation, but a tremulous quaver almost lost beneath that made Emma wonder if this newcomer’s true prevailing emotion were not hurt more than anger. “You - you proposed to me!”

Liam’s mouth fell open for a moment, aghast, and even as he was floundering for words, he stepped forward to reach her saying, “Belle, let me explain…” The room’s other occupants erupted in movement and exclamations once more.

Emma saw a break in the people nearest her and a clear path to the door. The woman, whom she now knew to be the elder Jones’ aforementioned first love, was her deciding sign. She had done more than enough to disrupt their lives, and the best thing she could do for the Jones family now was to get out of the way. Before Killian or anyone else could reach her to question her or try to convince her otherwise, Emma slipped out of the chapel, swiping uselessly at the tears that were already streaming down her face.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

One week later…

Emma Swan was once more at her post in the Riverside terminal, listlessly checking tokens in a monotonous routine that she didn’t dare upset. The excitement that had broken her usual days had nearly undone her, and she would be better off simply doing her job, going home to Tink, some hot cocoa and Law & Order reruns, and leaving well enough alone.

Yet, despite her best intentions, Emma couldn’t help wondering how all of the Jones clan were doing. Had their gran recovered from the shock? Did David, Margaret and Nick hate her for her false pretense? And even more important, what had happened with Liam and Belle? Had the other woman understood what occurred? In truth, did Liam even understand himself how the convoluted sequence of events had led to her being his mistaken fiancé? Above all of these concerns however, the worry that truly pressed on her mind, pained her heart, and wouldn’t even allow her a peaceful night’s sleep was her concern for Killian. Did his family know he had kept her secret? Did they blame him for it? Did he, now that he’d had time to think? Initially, Emma had clung to the faint hope that Killian might still want to see her, might come to her apartment and find her again. She had thought there was something between them on the verge of acknowledgement when she didn’t go through with the wedding. But, as two days became three, then four, then five, she had resigned herself to the fact that she must have been wrong.

Reaching out to take the next commuter pass, Emma didn’t even look up to see the waiting passenger’s face. “Go on through,” she directed, beckoning with a wave of the hand.

“Actually, Love,” a warm and familiarly accented voice addressed her clearly, “I’d prefer to remain with you, if you don’t mind.”

Emma’s eyes shot up in stunned realization to meet the brilliant blues of Killian Jones, sparkling playfully as he gazed back at her, wide grin stretching across his face with glee.

Seeing that he now had her full attention, Killian cocked his head to the side, playfully waggling his dark brows at her as he asked, “Well, Swan, did you miss me?”

Even as a loud bubble of laughter escaped her, a haze of unshed tears swam before her vision as she nodded vigorously, completely at a loss for words. It was as though she had dreamed him there before her and she couldn’t make herself believe he was real.

When Emma still didn’t give an audible reply, a chorus of voices began to chime in, causing her to realize they weren’t alone.

“Come now, Killian, don’t tease the poor girl,” Ruth’s gentle voice chided to his left.

“Yeah, let’s do this already!” came Nick’s impatiently excited addition. “Show Emma what you brought.”

“Aye, brother.” Emma spared a glance just over Killian’s right shoulder to where Liam stood, the brunette from their near-wedding cuddled to his side and now smiling at her genially. “After all, if you’re afraid to go after what you want, you deserve what you get!” His words were obviously meant in jest, though she could see Killian straightening his shoulders as if galvanized into action, but Liam only gave her a small, forgiving smile and winked, letting her know things were well between the two of them.

She saw now that Killian’s entire family was with him, flanking him in support. And not one of them looked anything less than pleased. None seemed to be harboring her a bit of ill will, and a fear than had been weighing on her almost constantly slipped off her shoulders at the sight. Margaret Jones even had tears of sincere joy twinkling in her eyes right along with Emma as she nodded to acknowledge the younger woman’s glance with a friendly smile.

“You - you’re all...here…” Emma stumbled to get out, flabbergasted with surprise and gratitude, and simply happy to see them all again.

“Of course we are, Swan,” Killian murmured, leaning in closer to the window that separated them, words meant for her alone. “However, I would like to come in there with you now. I’ve a question for you that requires at least a bit of privacy.”

Her wits finally restored enough to play with him a little in return, Emma smirked before shaking her head in mock regret. ‘It’s not allowed, sorry. You don’t have enough tokens.”

Killian gave a short nod, grin recognizing what she was doing and happily calling her bluff. Reaching into his pocket, he removed his hand, fisted around something Emma couldn’t yet see, and slipped it into the same slot where he had placed his token before. Letting his mischievous eyes glimmer at her in a way that couldn’t fail to take her in, Killian ran his tongue along his full lower lip, knowing Emma’s eyes were following the motion, and asked, “What about this? Will it do?”

To her astonishment, Emma looked down after hearing a tinkling metallic sound to find that Killian had dropped, not another few tokens as she had assumed, but an engagement ring, unmistakable in its beauty and meaning.

“Now will you let me in?” he asked more seriously, as she meet his eyes while blinking back tears, already nodding ‘yes’ vehemently and depressing the button which would allow him through into the small kiosk with her.

As soon as she was within his reach, Killian swept her up into his arms, and Emma wrapped hers around his neck, kissing him back and laughing for sheer joy as he rained kisses across her cheeks. “Can’t believe I nearly let you get away,” he whispered against her skin.

Emma offered him the most brilliant smile she could manage. “I’m so glad you didn’t,” was all she could really say in response.

~~~~~***~~~~~~~~***~~~~~

Liam asked her once when it was that she had fallen in love with Killian instead, and she’d answered him simply and honestly. Shrugging her shoulders, she replied, “That’s easy. It was while you were sleeping.”

Tagging: @searchingwardrobes @hollyethecurious @laschatzi @whimsicallyenchantedrose @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @revanmeetra87 @teamhook @branlovestowrite @therooksshiningknight @aloha-4-ever @linda8084 @vvbooklady1256 @bmbbcs4evr @the-captains-ayebrows @winterbaby89 @spartanguard @nikkiemms @cinnamonduckling @capswantrue @flslp87 @ultraluckycatnd @gingerchangeling @blackwidownat2814

#csromcom18 #cs movie au #final part #while you were sleeping au #cs ff #part eight

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