#absolute boss of playing games years after they release

[jooniperbonsai]

Thanks For The Sub (ksj) | Chapter One

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Chapter One length: 11-14k 18,371 (OOPS LOL)

Release date: Fri. January 19, 2024.

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: After a clip of you sucking at video games goes viral, you've become somewhat famous, with thousands of subscribers now tuning in each week to see you play. Overnight, you've gone from a sexually frustrated grad student who reads smut in her room to a gamer girl (or rather, a not-gamer girl). This would have been the perfect job, except it was never the job you wanted. Desperate for money to pay for grad school, you bounce between your new gig and working at a local restaurant to pay the bills, where your hot coworker-now-boss Seokjin plays many of the lead roles in your sexual fantasies.

Seokjin, two years post losing his fiancé and job within the same day, is tired of the rut he's dug himself into and wants to start over. Now 30 years old, he's stuck managing his family's restaurant where he harbors an insanely inappropriate crush on you on top of carrying one hell of a secret: Seokjin is also known as Jin, a successful gay-for-pay camboy on the streaming site Worldwide Handsome.

When the stress of the upcoming semester and the pressure to stream becomes more than you can handle, you seek out some much-needed stress relief online, only to discover a man who looks a little too much like your boss is staring right back at you.

Warnings for Chapter One: Swearing, cheating (not between main characters), big age gap between lesser characters that can be uncomfy, sex work, gay sex work when the worker is actually not gay (but everyone is chill about it), <- allusions to queer fetishization bc of this, feelings of shame and guilt, feelings of failure/depression, improper restaurant safety procedures, the existential crisis of your late-20s/30s that we all seem to go through, off-handed references to kpop culture including fanfics because I'm a clown and need to call us out sometimes, silly literary tropes, references to pregnancy (NOT reeader), boss-employee power dynamics, allusions to queer BTS members or relationships, cameos of au Seventeen Members (Wonwoo and y/n are besties). NSFW sex stuff: big dick Seokjin (of course), Seokjin with rolled shirt sleeves and cutting things in a kitchen, Daddy Dom Seokjin makes himself known, blindfolds, camming (obviously), f/m masturbation, lots of dirty talk, sex toys, degradation kink, praise kink, sexual fantasies at the worst moment, kink exploration, a lot cum (sorry), I mention the omegaverse as a joke, a sparkly pink dildo, seokjin has a massive collection of toys and he intends to use them, seokjin and reader are constantly horny, reader is kind of inexperienced, implied exhibitionism kink, implied voyeurism, implied public sex.

a/n: it's here (and longer than I intended but oh well!) this fic is inspired by a combination of fics from the lovely writing community on here, the copious amounts of smut I read, a dabble of my friends or my own experience, & the high drama of kdramas. I felt really compelled to write this fic after rereading "tip 143 (for ∞ seconds of love)" by minilouvre on ao3. I feel like the camboy/person trope is so fun to explore and I wanted to try my own take on it with our Seokjin, who doesn't seem to get as many fics written about him but absolutely deserves it. I also wanted to create space for a fic that explores the weird transition of late 20s-30s that both BTS and I (and maybe many of you) have experienced in the last few years. I hope you enjoy! I keep my inbox open, so lmk your thoughts!

xo - h

That’s it baby cum for me. 

Such a good little slut for Daddy.

Wish that dildo was my cock. 

Fuck this is so hot.

The tip jar was going wild. The mute button tapped long ago, tonight was by far the most successful night camming Seokjin had ever had. He would definitely be able to afford that new gaming PC after this. 

Thank god. After three hours streaming, he was getting tired of riding the glittery pink dildo. It was cute–a Christmas gift from one of his loyal subscribers– but admittedly, he hadn’t prepped well enough before putting it in an hour ago, and when he let out a pained groan as he sank down on it, he immediately knew he would be feeling it tomorrow, and maybe the next day. 

His only consolation was the five new top-tier subscriptions he’d received while experiencing searing hot pain. He’d clearly appealed to someone’s kink. Well, there was always something for everyone. 

Seokjin knew this well. Today was his two-year anniversary since his first livestream on Worldwide Handsome, an international gay live cam site. During those two years he had seen just about every kink requested, from wax play to autoerotic asphyxiation to something called the omegaverse; he’d sifted through the internet and researched enough on each request to decide which ones he’d be willing to perform, and which kinks were too much outside of his comfort zone. 

Now, with an apartment full of gifted costumes and drawers full of just about every type of sex toy known to the human population (and perhaps even some aliens if those toys held any accuracy), it was obvious that Seokjin was a knowledgeable and successful camboy who could fulfill so many men’s fantasies.

Except for the fact that Seokjin wasn’t actually gay. 

Which is, as it turns out, also something people are into. 

Two Years Ago

It wasn’t that Seokjin ever intended to be a gay sex cam worker, much less a camboy at all, but two years, four months, three weeks, and twelve hours ago, Seokjin hopped on a plane after finishing a week-long conference in Los Angeles. He’d booked the first flight out, eager to come home to his fiancé. 

During the week, he hadn’t heard much from her. He understood, of course. She’d mentioned before he left that during that week she would be busy catching up on work and finalizing a really important project with a looming deadline. She’d been stressed about it the morning he left, practically shoving him out the door with his suitcase. 

But he missed her desperately, especially with the distance between them, and he was hoping he could regain some of that intimacy by trying phone sex. They’d been having less sex recently, probably from the stress of work, but he still craved her every single day, just like he did when they were in college. 

For most of his and Soon Yi’s relationship, they were insatiable. In college, they were known for being embarrassingly public in their displays of affection, with Yoongi once catching them in the kitchen at a party with Soon Yi’s hand down Seokjin’s pants and Seokjin’s hands up Soon Yi’s shirt. At first, Seokjin wondered if he always felt so horny because of his raging hormones and the fact that Soon Yi was the first person he’d had sex with. But even three years later, on the night he’d proposed, they had to leave the restaurant he rented out so they could have sex in the car. 

Soon Yi was charming. She matched Seokjin’s wit, always ready to keep up with a joke and take it to the next level. She fit in effortlessly with his group of friends, remembering their birthdays and always showing up with a tiny treat for them, even if they hated celebrating. His parents adored her the moment they met her. She was frequently fawned over when she visited his work to bring him lunch or to just stop by and say hello. 

When his boss, Mr. Choi met her during the company’s annual gala, he told Seokjin she was enchanting, she was the moon that lit up the evening sky. Mr. Choi was also incredibly drunk when he said this, but he wasn’t wrong. 

Soon Yi glowed through Seokjin’s darkest nights like the moon. 

That’s why when she denied every video call request he made during his trip, Seokjin knew something was wrong. He felt desperate and needy, something he’d never experienced during their relationship. 

As he laid in his hotel bed, touching himself to their memories, a strange need overtook him: he wanted to remind her that despite all the work stress, they always got through everything together and ultimately, being intimate might help with reconnection. 

So at the end of his boring conference, he flew back, planning on surprising her when she got home with a delicious meal and sexy massage. Maybe he’d even use those silly novelty heart-shaped handcuffs Jungkook got him as a gag gift. 

He was ready to rekindle his love for the moon. 

What Seokjin wasn’t ready for was the fact that when he walked through the door of his house, the only moon he saw was that of Mr. Choi’s naked ass as he thrust into Soon Yi on the dining room table. 

As it became immediately apparent, Soon Yi’s “work project” was clearly what was playing out before him as he watched the only woman he’d ever been in love with writhe in ecstasy underneath his much older work superior. 

It would have been one thing to lose his fiancé, but in witnessing this entanglement, Seokjin also knew he’d lost his job. Due to the blur of his memory, his brain trying to erase what he’d seen, he wasn’t entirely sure when they realized he was home. However, by the time he had grabbed another duffel with some fresh, non work-related clothes from his dresser–after he breezed past his unmade bed that probably didn’t smell like him anymore–Soon Yi and Mr. Choi were half dressed and sheepishly waiting for him near the entry.

Seokjin couldn’t bring himself to look either of them in the eyes as he stated his resignation letter would be on Mr. Choi’s desk the following morning. 

When he arrived at Jimin and Jungkook’s apartment to crash, that’s when reality set in. What would he do now? He had no house to live in, no job to make money from, and he just lost the love of his life. 

His head was splitting from the idea of car payments, a mortgage under his name for a place he wouldn’t be living in, having to tell his parents, calling the wedding venue and paying that awful cancellation fee on top of not getting his deposit back. The extra zeros in his bank account were depleting fast and it wasn’t like he would be able to sleep on Jimin and Jungkook’s couch forever. 

After two weeks of dodging family phone calls, desperately applying to every job that didn’t sound like a scam, waking up in the middle of the night from the lumpiness of the couch or Jungkook’s horrible snoring, Seokjin felt like he was out of options. 

“I’m going to call my parents and tell them. Maybe I can work at the restaurant for the time being while I wait for callbacks. I have some money in my savings for my own apartment. I just can’t keep doing this,” he said. 

“Hyung, are you sure? You know that we don’t mind you being here as long as you need. Really, it’s not an issue.” Jimin was gentle as always, the concern on his face knitting his eyebrows together. 

But Seokjin knew he was avoiding the inevitable, so when he nodded and then called his parents, their warm voices on the other end felt like a sign he’d made the right decision after all.  

The next week, Seokjin began working at his family’s restaurant, filling in for shifts that were short, typically in the kitchen. Chopping and prepping the food for the chefs, dish washing, and anything that kept his hands busy were welcome distractions from the painful reminder of what awaited him outside of the restaurant. 

Soon Yi was pregnant. Seokjin found out one day when he stopped by to grab a load of his things to bring to his new apartment. While both he and Soon Yi agreed to sell the house, it appeared she was taking longer than him to pack. He figured this was because she would be moving in with Mr. Choi, who lived in the penthouse of a luxury apartment complex downtown. 

During their meeting with the real estate agent, Soon Yi had scribbled her new contact information and mailing address onto some forms with Mr. Choi’s details. Wealthy people always operated on their own timeline, one where they could hire a moving company to have everything neatly packed and stored within hours. 

Seokjin, however, was limited to an ongoing loop of back and forth where he crammed his car full of silverware, lamps, and his MapleStory figure collection Soon Yi once mocked him for collecting. As Seokjin continued to pack away his belongings, he saw it. In the guest bathroom outside of the kitchen, there were two positive pregnancy tests in the garbage can. 

Soon Yi was pregnant and the father wasn’t him. The last time they’d had sex was three months ago. She would have known by now if that were the case. 

A wave of nausea rushed over him, and somewhere between bouts of gagging and wiping tears from his eyes, Seokjin realized that things were truly over. 

Two months passed, and still he couldn’t find a job. While the restaurant gig was taking care of some of his bills, it was only a matter of time before Seokjin would be unable to take care of himself. At 28 years old, he’d have to move back in with his parents, which was next to impossible in terms of space, not to mention the fact that his brother and wife were living with them while their apartment was being renovated to better accommodate a life transition of their own: they were expecting their first child.  

Given his semi-recent discovery, being around a pregnant woman was something Seokjin didn’t particularly want a reminder of. 

“I don’t know what to do. Something has to give,” he said one day as he sat in Yoongi’s living room. A thick coat of snow was covering the earth outside, though from the sweat running down the back of Seokjin’s neck, you would never be able to tell. Yoongi always kept his home at the exact opposite of the climate outside, trying to quell the possibility he would have to experience any physical discomfort if he dared to ever leave his house, which he rarely did.

His friends all sat around him, quietly sipping their whisky or beer while the flashing light from the TV casted a kaleidoscope of colors across the coffee table. Hoseok nudged Taehyung, who’d fallen asleep at some point between the long pauses in conversation. Seokjin couldn’t blame him. 

It was late, much later than the invitation Yoongi extended typically lasted, but this meetup was different. Everyone had always known Seokjin to be optimistic. From a goofy dad-joke-making 18 year old until now, he’d consistently been a source of light. When Taehyung’s grandmother died a few years back, it was Seokjin who made him first smile again with a spot-on impression of his own halmoni as they slurped bowls of naengmyeon.

His hair was shaggy and unkempt, his smile fading quickly from his face after cracking a joke. His jokes were also darker, less silly and eye-rolling and more self-deprecating and sarcastic. It was like his life was draining from him before their eyes, and it was becoming nearly impossible to stomach. 

But concern doesn’t always lead to action, which is why they were sitting around in Yoongi’s living room hoping the whisky would give them some inspiration to find a solution to Seokjin’s problem that he wouldn’t immediately turn down. They’d scoured job sites together earlier, and anything in Seokjin’s former profession only led to him suggesting his next boss better be a woman or else he might have to keep his future girlfriend away from corporate events or dining tables. Other careers in his field were met with similar disdain. 

Seokjin wasn’t always this way. In college, he didn’t know what kind of job he wanted or where he wanted to end up, so he majored in acting, hoping that it would lead him where he would eventually develop some sense of passion. 

In a sense it did. During an internship with an entertainment company shortly after he graduated, his attention to detail, natural charisma, and flexibility showcased a skillset he didn’t even know he had, which resulted in him being offered a position in their corporate headquarters the following fall. He’d been there ever since. 

But Seokjin didn’t want to return to the same life he’d had. So much of his life up to this point had been the same, and it clearly didn’t work out for him, so why continue on? The only issue was that he once again felt like he was 18, trying to decide on a path to follow when he didn’t even know who he was anymore. Nothing was appealing to him. 

“What about video game streaming?” Namjoon suggested. “You love games, and you have all the equipment. You used to talk about doing that all the time.” 

“Yeah, hyung. You’re also really good at talking and stuff, so it would be fun to watch you do it!” Taehyung perked up at this suggestion, shaking off his sleepiness to contribute to the conversation. “I’ve seen how much streamers make with all their sponsorships and stuff, they don’t even have to work another job!”

The energy in the room picked up slightly as they waited expectantly for an answer. 

Seokjin grunted. “Okay, look. I would love to do that. That’s my dream job. But you’re forgetting something important. Those streamers didn’t just jump on the internet one day and then got thousands of subscribers and sponsorships to pay their bills overnight. Some of them took years to build up their following before they even started making money off of it. A lot of people actually lose money from game streaming. And I need money now. I don’t have that kind of time!”

Taehyung deflated, settling himself back into the couch next to Hoseok, who gave him a tender pat on his thigh. 

“But what if…what if you did a kind of streaming that made you money pretty much right away?” Jungkook offered quietly. 

Seokjin glanced over at his youngest friend, who was holding his empty whisky glass in his hands instead of looking at him. 

“What do you mean? Is there some kind of gaming livestream service that does that?” Now Seojkin was curious. 

“Um, well, not for gaming, exactly. I was just thinking. Um, you could always do like an OnlyFans or something? I have a friend who does it and she sometimes makes $1000 a night. And that would take care of–”

“You mean being a camboy? Jungkook, seriously? Listen I know we’ve all had a bit to drink, but that’s a ridiculous idea.” Seokjin snorted. “Besides, the market is flooded with people doing their own sex work. Maybe your friend is just really pretty or something to make that much from it, but I highly doubt I would make any money off OnlyFans because no one would even see me!” 

Jungkook nursed his bottom lip between his teeth as he was dismissed, his body mirroring Taehyung as he fell back into the couch cushions. 

“Hyung is right,” Jimin added finally, having spent most of the night settled quietly next to an even quieter Yoongi. “He wouldn’t make much money on OnlyFans. All the men on there are either ugly or buff, and Seokjin-hyung looks way too gay to appeal to that market.” 

Yoongi, who was sipping his whisky as Jimin spoke, spluttered into the glass as he lost his composure, falling into a fit of laughter. From the other side of the room, Hoseok joined in, clapping and gasping for air between laughs.

“Excuse me? What the hell does that even mean? Yah, stop laughing! It’s not funny!” Seokjin fought the smile that was trying to form on his lips. Okay, it was a little funny.

“Well, hyung, isn’t it obvious? Remember that one time we went to a gay bar and all those guys I tried to pick up tried to pick you up instead?” Jimin sighed as he glanced at Seokjin before reaching across the coffee table to grab a handful of cheese balls. 

“We’ve been over this. They weren’t trying to pick me up. They just told me I was really handsome and had fuckable lips. And they’re not wrong!” 

“Wait when did you guys go to a gay bar? Where was I?” Yoongi cleared his throat, finally recovering from his laughing fit. 

“You didn’t want to come, remember? I don’t know why you’re asking this, you never want to go anywhere. Anyway that’s besides the point. Seokjin-hyung and I went to the gay bar and he stole all of the guys I was hitting on because they wanted to make him their baby girl!”

Hoseok wiped a tear from his eye and chuckled. “Yeah, no, hyung I’m sorry but if Jimin is being passed up at a gay bar for you, you clearly give off that vibe. I can see it. You look all soft and plushy and like you would be the perfect bottom.” 

Seokjin tried to fight off the heat that was creeping up his neck into his ears, but after a few glasses of whisky, and the ungodly temperature of the room,  it was a failed mission to avoid being flushed.

Jimin shot a glare at Hoseok, who shrugged. “What? I meant it as a compliment!” 

“Well, thanks I guess. Now I know I look like I’m gay. That doesn’t seem to solve my problem here!” Seokjin looked over at Namjoon for backup, but all Namjoon seemed to be able to do was give him an apologetic smile.

 “No, I know, I know. We got off topic.” Jimin said, “Sort of. Listen, like I said before you wouldn’t be successful on OnlyFans, just because of what they market. But you could always market yourself differently. And I’m thinking, if you really need to make money fast, you could always work with what you’ve got going for you.”

The entire room went silent. 

“Wait,” Namjoon said, “you don’t mean…” His eyes flitted to Seokjin and widened in alarm. 

Slowly, everyone shifted as they realized what Jimin was suggesting, Seokjin evidently being the last one. 

How was he supposed to work with what he had when what he had was apparently drawing a different crowd of people from the one he was interested in? What did Jimin mean by marketing himself differently? Was he supposed to just stream on websites that were exclusively for gay men? 

Oh. That’s exactly what Jimin was saying. 

“Wh-Jimin what the fuck? You mean I should be a gay camboy? I know we just talked about me being attractive to men, but I’m not interested in them that way!”

Jimin huffed. “Well obviously I know you’re not gay. Otherwise we might not be in this situation.” 

Seokjin winced. 

“Sorry, that was unfair. It’s just…hyung, you’ve been so not like yourself lately. And you’re right, something needs to change. I know you’re not gay, but this still could help. Haven’t you heard of gay for pay? Like in porn and stuff a bunch of straight actors will fuck each other or some gay guy because it pays more than straight porn. It’s the same thing.”

“Only you don’t have to actually fuck anyone. Maybe you should remind him of that,” Yoongi added. 

“Right, exactly! Look, you don’t have to do it. But it could help you get by and pay bills in the meantime until you find something else that you want to do. And there’s a lot of sites where you can stream even once and get a direct payout the next day. It might be worth a shot.”

Seokjin thought about it for a moment. It didn’t sound completely awful. From what he’d seen from the times he saw cam sites out of curiosity, most of what happened was masturbating and talking to people. And he didn’t hate people. But something about it made him nervous. 

“I don’t know if I’d be okay with being watched. That seems embarrassing.” 

“Oh please, the number of times you and Soon Yi fucked basically in public is astronomical. You’re practically an exhibitionist,” Hoseok teased. 

“That was different! I was with her! Now it would be everyone watching just me up close and personal. Namjoon-ah, talk some sense into them. This is crazy, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know if it actually is, hyung,” Namjoon said lightly. “Jimin-ah and Hobi have made some good points. And I think…I think if you weren’t even just a little bit curious you would have immediately said no instead of going back and forth with them over it like how you flat out said no to the other stuff. Maybe you’re feeling a bit shy because it’s been a little while and you are trying to heal through the breakup and stuff, but you also don’t have to do it or you can do it once and change your mind after if you want. 

“It just doesn’t seem to me like this is the worst option for you. You get to talk to people, you can maybe have fun. You don’t see the people on the other side anyway, so if you wanted to pretend they were girls instead of guys you could, or turn off the comments probably? It’s not real sex though. And even if it was, is that so wrong? It’s not like you would be cheating on Soon Yi for doing this. I mean-”

“Thanks Hyung! I think we get it!” Jimin interjected, raising his eyebrows at Namjoon as if to say shut the fuck up. 

Seokjin felt his stomach sink. Is this why he was panicked at the thought? It wasn’t real sex, but it almost felt like he would be doing something wrong by doing this. Not morally against himself, but someone else. Maybe he was still hanging on to Soon Yi in ways he didn’t fully realize. 

He felt almost like a heavy weight was pressing on his chest and forbidding him from moving on. What would happen then if he tried doing this for himself? Would the weight still feel the same? He wanted to know. 

“Ah, fine, I’ll think about it.” He looked over at Yoongi, who looked relieved that the conversation was nearing its end. “You have anything to add to this? A final voice of reason?” 

Yoongi snorted as he jumped up to stretch. “Nah. Except, as your former roommate, ‘Seok’s got a point about the exhibitionism thing. You were way too into showing me your dick all the time and walking around naked when we roomed together.” 

The room erupted into laughter, Seokjin himself joining. This time his smile didn’t immediately fall from his face. 

Slowly, everyone else stood, bodies unwinding from furniture and each other. While Jimin ordered Jungkook and himself a taxi, Seokjin waited with him. 

“My only issue is, how do I pretend to be gay? Won’t they know I’m not?” 

Jimin scoffed as he nudged a sleepy and tipsy Jungkook into his shoes. “I don’t know hyung. You have an acting degree. Use it.”

A few weeks later, Seokjin held his first stream, nervously engaging with the handful of viewers trickling in and tried to deflect the discomfort he felt in his new spotlight.

“Um, hi everyone. My name’s Jin. Thanks for coming. You can probably tell, but this is my first time and I’m really nervous. I hope you enjoy the show.” 

Seokjin decided to shorten his name for his streams to help him feel like he was embodying a different persona, someone named Jin who may actually be gay. It wasn’t a big change, but it was nice to give himself some separation from Seokjin, the guy who was doing gay for pay to afford a new life.

Unfortunately, Jimin’s suggestion for Seokjin to act wasn’t as easy to implement as he’d hoped. Within the first half hour, viewers of his stream had noticed he was still nervous, and started asking him questions to get him to unwind, and hopefully undress. 

“Ah, yeah, uh, anal. I’ve done it once or twice, it’s nice.” It wasn’t a lie, he’d tried anal a few times with Soon Yi and did find it nice, but he also knew that this wasn’t what the question was asking. 

“Do I have a boyfriend? No, I’m single.” 

Slowly he began undressing, the heat of his half-truths causing him to feel like he was burning up. 

“Are you really gay? Well, what kind of question is that? I’m here aren’t I?” 

That question seemed to satisfy his audience for another half hour, until a new thread of people trickled in, asking him the same questions. He was running out of ways to answer.

I don’t care if you’re straight. You’re still hot. 

When he read this comment, he exhaled deeply. And from that one reaction, a flurry of others joined in. 

Yeah, idc either. You’re still so pretty. 

So hot if u were straight. Maybe I’d convert u. ;)

I’d let you put it into my ass and let you pretend it was a pussy.

For some reason, these comments began to fuel him. The attention was kind of nice. It reminded him of how he used to feel. 

Maybe he didn’t need to act gay to get what he wanted. Maybe he could just enjoy the pleasure of the compliments and company and see what happened from there? The weight he had been carrying around in his chest was feeling a bit lighter, and the comments were helping distract him from the pinches of guilt that he was doing something wrong. Because he wasn’t. 

Here, he was Jin, a sexy, flirty guy who could shine in the sky of his own making. 

Jin, the moon. 

That’s it. He was the moon.

Present

“That’s it, give it to me. Please, I’m gonna cum.” Seokjin hoped the words he moaned at his camera were true. He was so tired, and he wanted to be free from the stupid dildo.  

Lately, Seojkin has been having a hard time cumming on stream. He wasn’t sure why. For so long it had never been an issue, but streaming had begun feeling less like a fun way to relieve stress and more like an actual job. 

Never before was he so popular with his stream, and while it’s nice to see a larger deposit being made into his bank account each week, every time he came home from the restaurant and knew he was scheduled to do a cam show, his stomach knotted up with dread. 

The last time he felt this feeling was a little over two years ago, when hopping on planes to fly to mundane conferences or sitting in board rooms for morning meetings consumed all his time. Even during the period he was jobless, there was a tiny part of him relishing the fact that the work-related dread was over. 

And it returned with a vengeance. Seokjin tried everything, ventured into new kinks and even the game features of the website with the hope that he would feel the rush he used to love from streaming. But nothing really worked. It was now just his job.

He didn’t even want to stream for so long tonight, but because it was his anniversary, he wanted to make sure he ended on a good note to thank his viewers. 

One thing Seokjin’s viewers loved was seeing him cum. It was the part of his stream when he always earned the most tips. Jimin had been right. 

If Seokjin knew anything now, it’s that he had many assets worth using to finance his life, and his pretty face coupled with his big dick seemed to work for him.

But even as he stroked himself, precum dripping down the head of his cock, and even though he was riding the dildo in a way that would hit his prostate and finally give him an easy out, he could feel the edge pulling away.

“Fuck,” he grunted. He was losing it. He doubled down, rocking his hips to see if hitting a different sweet spot would do the trick. But it was to no avail; his cock was softening.

On his nightstand, his phone pinged, which only could mean one thing. Seokjin always turned his do not disturb mode on during his work hours, only allowing phone calls from his family or one alert from an app to pierce through the silence. This one was the alert.

It meant Y/N was online and you had just started a live stream of your own. 

You were one of this month’s top gaming streamers, bringing in more viewers than Seokjin had ever received during his top months of streaming. You were popular not because you were good, but because you were the exact opposite.

You were awful at most games you played, jolting at jumpscares over and over, losing in first rounds of Fall Guys or Dead by Daylight. One time you jumped into a game of Fortnite and were eliminated by a potty-mouthed child the second you landed. Your jaw hung open as the tiny, high pitched voice called you a bitchass before falling into a fit of laughter that had Seokjin himself in tears. 

You were inspiring. Sexy. You received dozens of comments every stream about how pretty you were or how great your laugh was, which you often didn’t read out loud but always offered a humble nod and show of thanks when you did. There was something about you that hit up the world around you, and though he wouldn’t so much as utter it out loud, Seokjin had a massive crush on you.

But Seokjin was also sort-of-not-really your manager. Unlike all the people pining over you in your comment section wishing they knew you in real life, Seokjin actually did. He saw you three times a week at his family’s restaurant that he was strong-armed into managing while his parents took the opportunity to finally travel and see other parts of the world. 

Seokjin stayed, not because he needed the money. Not that his pay was all that much anyway. 

Camming was incredibly lucrative for him, cementing his income in a way that allowed him to pay rent in a very nice apartment downtown. Seokjin was also someone who had always been smart with his finances and knew how to invest in the best trends. 

When his house with Yoon Si finally sold (after four months of her taking her sweet time to gather her last belongings and sign off on him putting it on the market), Seokjin took his cut and applied it toward a better streaming setup and some lower level stocks…and a special edition MapleStory figurine to celebrate the new chapter in his life. 

Seokjin’s family never seemed to question how he was able to afford his fancy apartment given how much money he made at their business. Well, they did ask once, but Seokjin orchestrated some simple lie saying he worked in cryptocurrency, and that seemed to be enough of an explanation for his family. No one wants to know how crypto works, which in the end worked in his favor. 

He’d planned to leave the restaurant about 8 months ago, but then you showed up one day asking about a job. The restaurant was within walking distance to your university, where you were getting your master’s degree in early childhood education. While the program you were enrolled in had some funding, you’d told Seokjin’s mother you were a student and in need of work. The following Monday, Seokjin walked in and found you with an apron tied around your waist, your bright eyes and smile shining back at him. He couldn’t bring himself to leave after that. 

A few months after you’d started working there, Seokjin and you had become somewhat friends, sharing stories about past jobs (minus some key details on Seokjin’s part), student observations you had to do for school, and your interests. You mentioned casually you were a livestreamer for gaming, never alluding to how popular you actually were.

Eventually, Seokjin convinced you to give him your username, batting his eyelashes dramatically and promising he would be your cheerleader. For some reason, that seemed to work, and later that night, Seokjin tuned in to your stream, one man among the thousands. From that moment on he let his crush become a safe thing where, like his own viewers, he could fantasize from behind a screen. Maybe soon he would actually ask you out on a date, taking your coworker relationship and transforming it into something more.

And then a month ago his parents left, leaving him with the roles and responsibility of manager. Which meant he was an authority figure who could arguably do whatever he wanted. Similar to how his boss in a way was an authority figure who could get whatever he wanted. That idea turned Seokjin’s stomach sour. He could never do anything about this crush now, not while you worked underneath him. It was too familiar and distorted, and he never wanted you to be in the position he was once in. It was completely inappropriate.

But try telling his dick that.  

Two days ago, Seokjin witnessed you in the kitchen bending over to pick up onion peels that had fallen to the ground. You definitely weren’t aware, but your skirt had ridden up a bit while you were working, and that meant he could see a tiniest delicate trim of lace on your blush colored panties. 

And despite the fact that Seokjin was 30 years old and had believed he’d gotten past his boner-in-public-just-from-seeing-underwear era during his teen years, he was evidently wrong. Because those panties and soft looking curve of ass didn’t just belong to anyone; they belonged to you.

This wasn’t the only time he got hard for you at work. Sometimes on days when there were no customers, he would watch you study at one of the tables, where you were prone to stretching your body after long periods of staring down, trying to unknot the tense muscles caused by sitting almost completely still as you tried to comprehend what you were reading. 

During those stretches, you would often let out the most sexual moans and sighs as you felt relief and it was enough to have Seokjin tucking himself under his belt like a horny school boy. God, what he would do to hear you moan underneath him, because of him. 

He thought about recording you stretching. He was addicted to your voice, your soft sighs. It would be so easy to just “leave” his phone in the booth behind you. Then he could hear it forever while he imagined what else made you moan. Did you like your nipples sucked? Did you sigh when you were being stretched open and felt full? How did you taste? 

And then Seokjin pulled himself together and realized how sickeningly perverted he was to be thinking about you like this as he stood hard and aching in the middle of his parents’ fucking restaurant.

He wanted you. So much so that now as he worked his cock in his fist, he let himself fall more into fantasy, one where you were watching, curious about the many toys and gifts around his apartment, wondering how you could reach the limits of what you wanted and needed to make you scream. He imagined that across town, you weren’t firing up your computer for a night of cozy games, but rubbing your pussy at the same speed he was stroking himself, wet and begging for him to cum all over those gorgeous tits, that wet tongue–

Seokjin groaned as he came, his entire body trembling as a thick load erupted all over his hands, chin, and chest. Normally he could control the direction to minimize the mess but this orgasm caught him a bit off guard, almost completely lost until it crept up with a burning need and coated him. He hadn’t felt that good in a while. 

As he panted and focused his eyes back onto the screen, his comments were flooded with praise and tips, viewers exclaiming how this might have been his best orgasm they’ve ever seen, which was saying a lot considering some of his subscribers had been with him from the very beginning, and there had been some pretty fantastic orgasms. 

He wouldn’t deny it, though. He felt looser in his joints, calm washing over him and breaking apart the bitterness that was in his gut from how lackluster streaming had been recently. He wiped his chin with a grin and reached for the towel next to him, ready to wrap up his show. As he delivered his thank yous, one comment drifting through the chat stopped him dead in his tracks. His post-orgasmic high was crashing as panic flittered into his stomach. 

Did you guys hear him moaning a name as he came? Who the fuck is Y/N?

She had to leave. If the king couldn’t overcome his malice, she knew she couldn’t stay. No amount of love she had for his son was going to make him see that. She’d told him she loved him despite the scar that ran over his left eye and down his soft cheek. She vowed to be good enough to marry him, do whatever it took. Yet the king and queen had laughed at her, had their guard hold his foot on her back so she couldn't stand up from her deep bow. 

Laughed as they stood from their thrones to welcome the guest’s arrival: the consort for their son. The prince stood with them, silent as he followed them through the open doors. Quiet like how he used to be back in the first days of when she met him last summer. In memory, she couldn’t even fathom how he was anything like the man she’d grown to love. Yet, looking up from the pulp of the floor, she’d seen him return to that man. 

Hadn’t the days she’d spent walking those palace gardens with him been enough? They’d stood together under the plum blossom tree in the middle of winter and he’d promised that he would love her even while the buds were hibernating. 

“We can watch them become flowers together in the spring,” he’d said. 

He had taken her to his bed that night. Used his sensuous tongue to lap at her sweet nectar. He devoured her heart and soul. Climaxed with her and held her through the heavy snow.

Where was that man now? She didn’t know.

She waited until well after nightfall, when even the latest bird twitterings were silenced by the call of sleep. She knew she couldn’t bring much, but she managed to slip into the kitchen after dinner to pull together a few scraps for the road. Where would she even go? The nearest village was at least a two-day walk and if he sent his men for her, she knew word would spread before she’d even arrived. 

Unless he didn’t send anyone for her, she realized, her stomach dropping with nausea. He wouldn’t send anyone for her. She knew this. It’s why Prince August stood in the throne room, lethal as ever, even with no sword in his belt. August. Sugar. Whichever person he decided he was in the moment. Her nickname for him didn’t matter anymore. He wasn’t sweet. His desire for power showed the bitterness in his heart. He had given in to his parents’ wishes, despite the times he swore he would never give them the satisfaction.

He was cruel. But even worse, she believed he wouldn’t be. She was a fool.

It was the darkest part of the night when she left the servant’s quarters. She’d miss the ladies and all their kindness, but she knew she couldn’t serve August his breakfast in his bedchamber after this. After knowing that the sheets she once laid in with him were now being laid in by someone else. 

She took the back route, near the interior of the garden, ducking behind the ornamental shrubs and skirting past the watchpost the guards usually abandoned at this hour with ease. All that was left was to make it through the courtyard and she would be free. 

She padded her way along the path. A light breeze of the pre-dawn was catching, fluttering the branches of the newly blossoming trees around her and blowing petals in their wake. She caught one in her fingertips and fought a sob. Plum blossoms.

Should she take one with her? For the memory? So that she could always have a part of him with her? 

No, she decided. It would be too much to remember this. Once she passed through those gates, she would not be the same woman she was. Holding her breath, she let the petal go, hoping wherever the wind carried it, it would find the peace she too was looking for. It swept to the end of the courtyard, over the gate that was now her future. 

This was a sign, she mourned. Not all promises were meant to be kept.

With a final look at the place she’d learned to call home, the man she’d learned to call home, she opened the gate, ready to forge into the unknown. 

“Petal,” she thought she heard his call, his nickname for her. Though when she turned around, he was nowhere to be found. 

She must’ve imagined it, wished for the impossible. As she took steps through the gate, she looked out at the world around her, the plum petal a few feet in front of her. Maybe she would take a piece of him with her, after all. It was too tempting not to. 

She moved, trying to ignore the tug she felt back toward the palace, the invisible string of fate she thought that tied her to August trying to tangle her back in. She wouldn’t do it. She wouldn’t go back. 

She bent down, clutching the petal tenderly in her palms and letting the first tears fall. 

“So that’s it, hm? After all that, you weren’t even going to wish me goodbye.” 

She rose swiftly, whipping around to the voice’s owner. 

There, leaning against the outer palace wall, was August. 

The alarm on your phone chimes, pulling you from the book in your lap. You’ve been reading all afternoon, the sun now taking its final bow before plunging the world into darkness. Soon you’ll have to turn the lights on, then it will be time for work. On your only day off. 

You groan, stretching your neck as you allow yourself to come back to reality. 

To some, it would be hard to call your job “work”. Many people dreamed of being professional game streamers. Who wouldn’t want to be paid to sit online, play games, and talk to people? 

You don’t. That’s the problem. 

Your ascent into gaming stardom was a fluke. About 9 months ago, you were in between semesters for your grad program and looking for ways to unwind. Your oldest friend, Wonwoo, was a pretty successful streamer who often hosted game nights to play with his viewers and friends. 

You frequently watched his streams, letting his soft voice be the perfect background noise as you studied and formulated the next lesson plan or behavioral assessment. You’d known Wonwoo for what felt like forever at this point, being his first subscriber, first moderator, and first kiss (not in that order). But your middle school kiss outside of the convenience store never led to anything more than that, as desperately as you’d wanted it to. 

Once he moved across the country, you let your crush die with the distance. The years turned faster and your twenties were spinning by with the revolving door of lovers you’d watch him pine over, cry over, and in one case, almost marry. Streaming then became one of your main forms of connection, and your role as his moderator tied some part of you to him out of loyalty. To imagine him as anything other than a friend now feels ridiculous. 

But that loyalty you have is also to a fault. When Wonwoo’s usual streaming friends bailed one night during a tournament, you subbed in…for a game you didn’t even know how to play. 

And to make matters worse, this was a game that required talking to each other on-stream, which meant you not only sucked major ass at this game, but Wonwoo’s 700 viewers that day were also subjected to your constant frustrated squeaks, swears, and embarrassed maws as you tried to key-smash your way to victory but ended up throwing the entire team’s game with your incompetence. 

Wonwoo wasn’t mad, though many others were. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed, and his streams operated with very few rules: no hate, no spam, and we are in this to have fun. And he did have fun. By the time the first round was over, he and most of the chat were losing it over your commentary. 

As he wiped tears from eyes and took in a breath, he read his comments. “‘Damn, I never heard a chick threaten someone with a plunger like that before’. Yeah, I’ll give it to you, Y/N, you got really creative with your insults in that. Hey, PartyShitty thanks for the sub! ‘I can’t BREATHE’, yeah I’m still trying to get it together. W00000000000000000ziiiiii–damn that’s a lot of zeros in that username–thanks for the 5000 points! ‘Is she hot’ uh, I mean, I don’t— 

“Oh shit, LetsGetIt15, thank you for gifting twenty subs! ‘Please, Y/N, start your own channel. I’ll be the first subscriber.’ Actually, no, I’ll be. But really, that's not a bad idea.”

Wonwoo navigated the rest of his stream with ease that night, but after it was over, he called you to try to convince you to start your own channel. 

“It could help with school at least! Or you could get that special edition of that one book you like with the dragons or the blue alien porn stars or whatever it is.”

“They’re neither of those things, they’re actually–”

“Whatever they are! The book that has people fucking nonstop and some plot. You know, the special edition cover that you keep talking about in your close friend story that you won’t buy?” Wonwoo said. “The point is, if you start streaming you could finally buy it and then stop talking about it and I won’t need to see sections about how hot you think their alien or fairytale or demon whatever cocks are.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his exasperation. “That won’t stop with me getting that book, just so you know. And if it bothers you so much, I can take you out of the close friend story. I didn’t even know you looked at my stories that much.” You didn’t know he still used Instagram at all actually. He very rarely posted. He mostly lived on his Discord channel talking about games with his subscribers or other friends.

Regardless, it was nice to know that he was trying to be aware of your interests, even if it was incredibly embarrassing. Although the copious amount of smut you read wasn’t something you always wanted to broadcast to the public, you’d still made some friends from online book communities over the last few years and enjoyed keeping them in the loop of your reading list.

Also, Wonwoo had a point. Streaming could help paying some of your school expenses…or get you more books. You told him you’d think about it, and while you weren’t completely in love with the idea of streaming, it did provide you with some steady income until you landed your job at the restaurant.  

After that conversation, you haven’t discussed smut or cocks since, and you’re honestly relieved, not because Wonwoo is hard to talk to about things, but because you are. Which is why streaming always feels a little uncomfortable and your position ironic, because you can barely have conversations successfully unless you really know the person to ramble about your interests to, or you can occasionally eke by with small talk. 

But streaming requires the spotlight being on you in some way at all times. It’s your face that is fixed to the corner of the screen, monitoring your every reaction. It’s your voice that echoes into the mic and responds to your chat. Sure, you have mods and some streamers don’t interact with their chat at all, but you don’t want to be like that. You’ve been on the other side before, and know that most people are just lonely and looking for connection. . 

From the moment you decided to do this, you were aware that because you were now a “gamer girl” you would be subjected to the three extremes of the comment section: chronic oversharers who tell strangers all their personal baggage perhaps in the hope that you will assume some role of therapist to them, people coming to insult your gaming (which is the point so that can’t impact you) or physical appearance, or sexually explicit comments. 

Over the months, you’ve seen many things flitting by on the screen, deleted in haste by your trusty mod squad, but it doesn’t stop the fact that you still see them. 

Those things you can handle. They are impersonal and a direct copy-paste of the same thing.

But when people compliment you? That makes you want to bury yourself under your covers and never come out. Because the compliments are always personal and touching a part of you that is authentic.

The people in your chat want to know you. They want to know what kind of music you like, your favorite foods and books. They ask if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner, compliment your hair or the shirt you’re wearing or your gaming setup. It feels intimate. Almost like you could find these people and touch them and let them know you. 

But they can’t. Because the only thing that drew them to you, the part where you’re this funny, positive gamer chick who sucks at video games but is down for whatever, isn’t real. 

Spring Day Streams Y/N is a persona. You don’t stream because you’re her. You stream because you have to be her in order to survive.  

And now she’s taking up more time. Last month’s streams landed you Streamer of the Month, which thanks to the exposure, brought dozens of new subscribers and thousands of points, and that helped take care of some of your expenses for the new semester. Some. You’re still behind on your credit card bill. 

Also, more people means more expectations for streaming. So you’ve kicked up your streaming schedule from twice weekly to three times a week, with you occasionally hopping onto Wonwoo’s channel even if you aren’t streaming to mod. 

When you aren’t glued to your computer, you’re usually at the restaurant, in a cramped kitchen where you do the prep work, often alongside him, your sexy coworker-but-now-boss, Seokjin. 

The man you are quietly obsessed with. You can’t think about Kim Seokjin without thinking about all the positions you want him to fuck you in. 

Which is also why you’ve been devouring books lately. When you’re home, you throw all your energy into the escapism they provide, especially ones where you can get yourself off to whatever fantasy Seokjin effortlessly slips into. 

For every hot mob boss, corrupt CEO, longterm best friend, dragon-rider, fairy, demon, alien, ghost, or hockey playing love interest you can find, Seokjin is sure to fill the role. A hot merman looking for someone to help him grow legs and something else? Seokjin. A Grinch who inherits his family’s Christmas tree farm and discovers how much he loves to ho ho ho? Seokjin. A god who tears apart the underworld to find his lost lover, and then during the reunion fucks her on the throne of Satan while she wears the crown? All Seokjin. 

Unfortunately, his transition from co worker to boss has made your fantasies all the more dirty. 

It’s been incredibly difficult for you to handle the fact that any flirtation you two previously shared in the months before he was your boss can no longer continue. But it’s also incredibly hot.

Fantasies of him eating you out on the counter have been replaced with the fantasy of him shoving you in the back office and fucking you on the desk while wearing one of those perfect-fitting dress shirts he often parades around in. 

And when he rolls up the sleeves to help in the kitchen? Fuck, it’s humiliating how wet you get.

The entire thing is pathetic really. He’s just standing there half the time, lecturing everyone on proper kitchen hygiene and ensuring one of the cooks doesn’t use expired seasonings for his eomma’s secret sauce. 

And you’re standing next to him clenching your thighs together because when you’re this close, you can just make out the freshness of his cologne and feel the heat of his body close to yours. 

When someone fucks up, he has a tendency to take over, chopping with unmatched precision and self assurance, trying to keep his voice even and usually failing as everything builds in intensity until he’s accidentally speaking at a million miles an hour and lecturing until his face turns red. 

If someone were to pass by the shop, they’d probably mistake his shouting for anger, but you’ve come to understand Seokjin is just passionate about things. Usually when he comes down from his tangent, he’s embarrassed and apologizes, and not long after the entire staff is laughing along with him as he cracks a joke at himself for his inability to tone it down.

Which to you makes him even hotter. Seokjin is able to see his faults and work with them, not against them. He holds himself accountable. He’s nothing like the haughty men you’ve gone on brief dinners with after downloading dating apps for the hundredth time while you’re drunk. He’s actually funny, knowing the right way to use humor and tell jokes, never at someone else’s expense, and definitely without being disgustingly crude. 

All those clowns you suffered through drinks with always made comments and digs at other women or referenced their cock like they were setting up some goofy scene from porn and you would find it hilarious and endearing. 

Seokjin isn’t like that at all. He probably refers to his dick as a penis and would blush to high heavens if he knew how horny you are for him. He’s unwound you, and he has no clue. Maybe if it hadn’t been literal years since you’ve last had sex you could tone it down. 

With working all the time and going to school, it’s already been hard to even go on singular dates here and there. And since the prospects were frankly awful, sex is just something that has had to go onto the back burner for a bit, but you seemed to scorch the fucking pan by forgetting to turn the heat off and now you are burning and hungry. 

With a final sigh, you put the book down, annoyed that you didn’t have time to finish it today or at least get to a good part where you could insert yourself into the role of the palace servant and Seokjin as the Prince. Based on the reviews, there’s sure to be a hot sex scene coming up involving using a sword in a particular way that has piqued your curiosity. 

In a moment of depravity earlier, you’d snaked one hand down the front of your panties to rub a few damp fingers around your clit to take the edge off. 

You check the time on your phone, already aware that you don’t have time to cum before streaming. You already hit the snooze button twice. The spicy stuff will have to wait. 

Defeated, you stand up, turning on the lights in your apartment as the sun finally fades away and the dark creeps in. You eat a bowl of cereal while doing your makeup, what little of it you want to put on. Finally, you fire up your PC, trying to ignore the irritation you’re already experiencing from being so high strung and unsatisfied.

The second this stream is over, you’re going to make sure you cum until you pass out. Until then, it’s time for work.

“At what point am I supposed to become good at this again?” You ask Seokjin as you attempt (and fail) to julienne carrots. 

When you arrived at work at an ungodly hour this morning to prep for the weekend rush, Seokjin had already started the coffee. 

Your empty cup now idles next to your scrap pile of too-wide carrot blocks that’ll have to be pulverized by the blender and repurposed in another recipe. 

Seokjin chuckles as he buzzes about the kitchen, reaching tenderly around you to grab your mug for a refill. 

“That all depends on how much you practice.”

“So should I expect a large carton of carrots to be delivered to my home this evening with the instructions to have them julienned by Monday?” You tease, as you split another carrot down the center, half of it flinging off the prep counter and onto the floor. 

Seokjin smirks and bends down. He picks up the carrot and deposits it into the garbage bin. “Two cartons, actually. Given how many carrots we’ve lost already today, I need to make sure at least some of our inventory lands on the customer’s plate and not just into the trash.”

“How considerate of you,” you chide, and put down the knife, reaching out to accept your newly filled coffee mug. Seokjin’s hands are red from the constant washing and chopping of potatoes, which you recently learned he’s allergic to. 

As well as garlic, and you’ve already voluntarily peeled and minced that for the day. That much you can do without guidance, but anything besides your imprecise chopping is on the list of knife skills Seokjin wants you to improve upon. 

This is fair, given how dangerous your previous cutting methods have been. Once Seokjin saw the way you tried to stab at a watermelon, it was over. Now you often come in an hour and a half early before each shift to practice. 

And to also be alone with Seokjin before he is forced from the kitchen to deal with other duties. 

“Thank you,” you say, as you take the first warm sip and shiver. It’s freezing outside, and it’s only supposed to get worse. 

There’s snow forecasted for the weekend, which could mean one of two things: everyone stays home and avoids driving, or they all leave the house in one show of silent agreement and fill every nook and cranny of the restaurant to order bowls of sundubu jjigae or crisp and hot pajeon. 

Seokjin predicts that because a warm front is moving in afterward, people will utilize one of the only days of snow you’ll likely get this winter to gather together.

Valentine’s Day is soon, and the city has started to prepare. Storefronts have begun switching out new year sale signs for pink and red heart motifs, with spas and restaurants offering couple specials. The perfumeries have moved from campaigns advertising the perfect Christmas gift to ones of sexy, decadent colognes sure to transform a man into his inner beast. 

And then there’s the chocolate. It’s like the air in the neighborhood the restaurant resides in smells different, less greasy and grimy and more sweet. Everywhere you turn there’s pastries, cakes, bonbons, crepes, chocolate dipped nuts and other confections that just looking at makes your teeth sore. 

With the district washing itself in a pink glow, more and more couples have been braving the cold, landing in the restaurant after weighing themselves down with shopping bags. 

You’ve seen what’s in them, often tripping over or kicking at least one bag each shift while you attempt to bring an order to the table and spilling the contents. This year seems to be popular for matching couple outfits. You’ve seen a lot of pairs in their early twenties wearing or recently acquiring sweaters that have the same characters or color combinations. With the temperatures dipping into a bitter chill this week, some have elected to wear cute but inconvenient sets of mittens that allow them to hold hands as they stroll. 

When it snows in the city, the world gets quieter, cleaner. Even if people shuffle around in the bustle of novelty experiences, how they show their love, from brushing the snow off each other’s coats or taking kissing selfies in front of snow fallen trees, it always makes you feel a little softer, a little more at peace. 

Snow is really romantic.

“What?” Seokjin asks, which alerts you to the fact that you’ve been staring at him as you let your thoughts run, a dopey grin splattered across your face. 

“Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about how much I love the snow.” You break eye contact, feeling the heat of embarrassment flood your cheeks. 

“Ah, yeah. It’s supposed to start soon,” he looks at you thoughtfully before looking back down at the tofu blocks he’s draining. 

A silence falls on you, the once normal pause now becoming a bit awkward. 

“What do–”

“I just–”

You both stumble over each other, trying to fill the unnatural pause you’ve reached, which has you laughing and Seokjin cracking a wide grin. 

“What were you going to say?” he asks, and then motions for you to get back to your carrot desecrating. 

“Ah nothing. You were going to ask something?”

You slice a carrot, this time less match stick and more shaved. Damn. 

“Oh, um. I was going to ask you what you like about the snow. That thought kind of came from nowhere and I was trying to follow.” His voice is careful, as if he’s trying not to offend you. Is he nervous?

Your mouth draws into a thin line. Can you risk saying what you were just thinking? Is it inappropriate to talk about romance in front of your boss, who you’ve thought about kissing in the snow at least three times a day? You don’t want to make him uncomfortable. You’re aware of the ways in which Seokjin’s new position of authority weighs on him. 

While he’s always had more authority due to being the owners’ son, it isn’t like Seokjin walked around the place with a power complex before his promotion. You two had become something akin to friends in the months you’ve worked together, falling into occasional flirty banter as you shuffled around each other to mop floors or wash dishes. 

You know he used to work for a large company a few years ago but quit to help his family with their restaurant. You also know he loves MapleStory and is always showing you his newest splurge from their online shop or the latest piece to his collection. 

He doesn’t have any pets, but sometimes debates getting a dog and then when shown support, he dismisses it with boisterous laughter, talking about how he doesn’t have the time and if he ever wants to get a dog, he will have to buy a house. Usually once he lands on discussions of a house, he gets a little more quiet, perhaps a bit sad.  

He has an older brother who has one child and another on the way, a major reason for his parents’ decision to travel now, before the new baby arrives. His brother and brother’s wife have visited a few times while you were working, but Seokjin’s mother had mentioned that her son and his wife recently moved into a new house outside of the city, and with the new addition joining sometime in the spring, it can be a bit exhausting to pack up the car for a few hours of visiting time. 

While you haven’t experienced Seokjin as an uncle, you know how much he loves being one, excusing himself from the front of the shop to Facetime with his nephew from the back office, where you can hear his voice carry with high pitched impressions and jokes or random songs he babbles to the youngest Kim. 

Knowing him in this way feels a bit awkward now that he’s the one signing your paychecks. Since his transition, he’s been a bit more formal with you, you assume trying to be respectful and professional. 

You understand where he’s coming from, but you miss the past connection you two had formed. And that seems to dictate your response. 

“I like how romantic snow is. How it not only makes the lights twinkle more, but how people do cute things in it. Snowball fights, drinking hot chocolate, building snowmen. They change their behaviors for the snow. To celebrate love in it. Last time it snowed here, I saw one girl push her boyfriend into a snowbank.”

Seokjin laughs as he begins popping the tofu blocks into containers. “That sounds awful,” he says. 

Your heart plummets. “Oh,” you squeak. 

His head darts up to catch your expression and his eyes flash. “Oh, no no! Not like that. I mean, being pushed into the snowbank. That poor guy was probably soaking wet and freezing after that!” He waves his knife in his hand wildly with his gesture and then quickly deposits it into a sheath before stepping over to your workstation. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.” 

You recover. “Oh he was. He also got his revenge by pulling her in with him. And she wasn’t even wearing a coat.”

You watch Seokjin’s tense shoulders relax. His broad frame is so close now, towering over you. He smells a little like the earthy starch of potatoes, but you like it. 

“I, uh,” he says, his voice becoming more raw. “I like the snow too. You’re right, it is romantic in a way. The snowflakes getting caught in your hair, you huddle closer to someone to share body heat, it’s nice.”

As if on cue, your bodies inch a little closer to each other. Seokjin reaches his arm forward, brushing along yours as he grasps one edge of the workstation to lean in. 

“Yeah,” you reply lamely. 

You blink up at him and he smiles back. You both sit there for a moment, neither of you moving, just studying the other’s expression. 

Then, he leans in.

Your breath catches, and his other arm lifts up above you on the other side, caging you to the workstation.

Your eyes close from the intensity. He’s so close that you feel the fabric of his rolled shirt sleeve graze against your cheek. 

All it would take is him leaning in and searing his lips onto yours and you would fold for him. You know this.  

This is what you often fantasize about, the two of you in this position. That’s the power he has over you, his smooth seduction, your willingness. 

If he asked you right now, you would strip down and bend over this workstation, let him fuck you with your nipples brushing against the cold steel of the counter, carrot shavings squishing against your face as he impales you with his cock. 

It would be so easy, he just needs to ask you. 

“Y/N,” he says, a bit more distant now, but you shudder at how roughly he says your name. 

“Mm?” you hum, forcing your eyes to reopen. Seokjin has pulled away from you. How long has he been just looking at you standing here with your eyes closed?  

“Turn around,” he says. 

Wait, what? 

You stare back at him blankly. Is he reading your mind? 

Seokjin rolls his eyes and laughs, holding up the package of dried seaweed that was above you on the shelf. He tosses it on the counter behind him.

“Are you still here or did I lose you? I said turn around.” You freeze, confused. 

He did all that to reach above you for some seaweed? Is he fucking with you? And what does he want you to turn around for? 

“Wha–”

You open your mouth to ask but Seokjin moves in, his hands on your wrists as he takes you and spins you around so you’re up against your workstation, his stomach resting on your back as you stand sandwiched against him and the cold counter. You clench your thighs, suddenly aware that you are wet. 

Fuck.  

“You need to focus,” he says low in your ear. You take a shaky breath. 

Focus. How are you supposed to focus when you imagined this exact scenario exactly one minute ago? 

“I, what?” Your words fail you as you stand there, stunned and aroused but also completely confused about what he wants from you. This entire situation is a mindfuck. 

Seokjin’s hands leave your wrists and make their way to your hands as he moves you like a puppet. 

“Y/N, were you even paying attention? We just went over this. God, I swear, I’ve told you. You need to be present in the kitchen space. You’re lucky I resheathed the knife for you while you were on another planet. You could have easily gotten hurt.” Seokjin scolds you overhead. 

Oh. You look to the right and see the kitchen knife you were using back in its protective shell and not where you left it, which, come to think of it, was incredibly close to where your hands were now on the counter under Seokjin’s. Yikes. 

“Sorry,” you mutter, feeling a prick of shame seeping through the fog. Seokjin isn’t trying to fuck you against the counter; he’s trying to make sure you don’t cut your finger off. 

He tuts above you, his grip still firm as he directs you to the uncut carrots and chopping board. 

“Tsk, honestly. You’re ridiculous. What am I going to do if my best girl is hospitalized after losing her hand because she’s too busy daydreaming about snow storms instead of having basic kitchen awareness? You know, I could send you home over this. Make you unable to come back until you rewatch those kitchen safety videos with the fake blood and awful actors. Seriously.” 

You shiver at his words. He’s so busy setting up for a rant, you almost miss it. 

“Your best girl?” You ask lightly. 

Seokjin stills, your joined hands hovering over the cutting board. “Oh, uh. You know what I mean. You’re the best….girl we have on staff. You know.”

You don’t. You’re far from the best girl on staff. Seha has a degree in culinary arts. She’s usually the one who has everything prepped days ahead with perfectly formed cuts. She manages the kitchen cleanliness with rigidness. She even barks orders at Seokjin when he’s in the kitchen because he isn’t as clean as her. 

If she wasn’t out with the flu, none of this work would even need to be done. Maybe Seokjin is getting sick too. He’s been feverish looking and a little uneasy around you all morning, and clearly he’s now being delusional.

“Ah,” you concede, and give your hands a shake to urge him to continue. 

“Right, anyway. You’re getting better at your cuts, but I’m losing money quickly with all your sacrifices to the floor goblins. And we don’t have much time left before the others start coming in, so let’s finish this up.” 

You let Seokjin guide you, literally hand-over-hand, as he restructures your positioning on the knife and angle of the blade to slice through the carrots a lot more cleanly and easily. 

“That’s it, good. You’re doing such a good job,” he breathes. 

You feel his exhale along your spine. God, you’re a pervert. He’s just trying to help you better yourself, and all you’re thinking about is how dominating he seems right now and how much you want to please him. 

God, if he calls you a good girl you know you’re going to moan audibly. That’s how bad he’s got you.

You keep working, and once you get the hang of it, Seokjin’s grip loosens, allowing you to finish the bag by yourself. But his hands are still on yours, even if you’re the one in control. 

After a while though, it’s becoming too much to handle. Him bent over you like this is limiting your range of motion, making it hard to wipe the sweat on your hands or move your scrap pile further down the counter. 

He’s also a human furnace, the space between you still so limited that you’ve begun sweating under him. 

In one particular cut of carrot, the sweat caused by the joint heat of your hands causes you to lose your grip, shooting it down onto the floor. 

Reflexively, you reach down to grab it, but with Seokjin still attached to you, it proves to be an immediate disaster. 

You throw your body into a bend, which forces you back, your ass grinding directly into Seokjin and being met with something very large. 

You gasp and Seokjin grunts, swiftly releasing your hands, which are actually balancing you in your bend. 

You fall forward, smacking your head into the edge of the counter as you go down. 

The kitchen echoes with an embarrassing clang as your forehead ricochets off the metal. 

“Fuck,” you groan, a sharp pain shooting through you.. 

You scramble to recover, one hand going to your head as you steady yourself, rubbing the soreness. Seokjin flails above you, panicked. 

“Oh shit! Y/N I’m so sorry! Oh my god. Are you okay? I shouldn’t have let go, I just was–” Seokjin rambles as you stare up at him, trying to get him to steel himself. 

“No, fuck, ouch, it’s okay! I’m okay. Seokjin, can you please just get me some ice and help me up?” You aren’t sure you can get yourself up as your vision swirls from the heat of the pain. You really went down hard. 

Seokjin ceases his flailing and shouting, leaning down and picking your body up off the floor with impressive strength and carrying you to a clean workstation in the center of the room. He sits you on top of it, making you now almost his height. 

Holy shit.

Once sure you’re not at risk of flopping over, he walks over to the ice maker with a clean kitchen cloth and folds some ice cubes inside. 

You reach for the cloth, but he refuses to hand it over. 

“Yah! No. Please let me do this, I can see the bump forming already. I’m the one who caused your injury.” He gingerly lays the cold cloth against your head. You wince. 

“‘Snot your fault,” you pout, trying to ignore the pain. “It was an accident. No one caused it.” 

Seokjin sighs and places his free hand behind your head, discouraging you from angling away like you’ve subconsciously been doing. 

“It is my fault. I let go of you. After just lecturing you about kitchen safety. God, what kind of example am I setting? I’m really sucking at this boss thing.” 

You reach up, placing your hand on Seokjin’s wrist to remove it from the ice. But he doesn’t relent. You keep your hold. 

“Seokjin, you’re not a bad boss. God you’re literally the opposite. Everyone here loves you. You’ve only been the manager for a little while. Give yourself some time. And keep in mind both of your parents ran this place, and now it’s down to just you.” 

You feel the tendons under his wrist adjust, his grip a little looser. Seokjin’s wrists are soft and tan, a thin coating of hair trailing up his forearms and under his sleeve. Your grip loosens too, and you let your thumb brush back and forth through the hair. 

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t supposed to be the manager. My brother was supposed to manage the restaurant when my parents were ready to retire. That was always the plan, anyway. But things change. When they were getting their apartment ready for my nephew to arrive, I think they realized how tight space can be living in the city. We grew up in an apartment complex not too far from here and it always felt like we were on top of each other. 

“Which, we kind of were. My brother and I shared this tiny room that had bunk beds, and we lived that way until he went away to college. I used to always smack my head against the ceiling when I was a teenager and woke up in the middle of the night. My forehead would get huge bruises on it, probably a lot like the one you’re going to have on your head.” He frowns. 

“I guess my brother didn’t want to see his kids living like that either. I never minded it so much, but maybe that’s because I was the younger one. Not having any privacy during puberty or dealing with me during puberty was probably a nightmare for him.”

You shoot him a sympathetic smile. “It was nice of you to take over on his behalf then. I know you used to work for major companies in the business district downtown. This must have felt like a sacrifice.” 

Seokjin’s arm falls away from your head, your soft caress pulling away with it. He sets the cloth down next to you. He worries his bottom lip into his mouth and then shakes his head. 

“No, it was never like that. I’m sure eomma filled everyone and their brother’s ears with stuff about me. ‘Seokjin is our business minded son! He’ll make a great leader!’ ‘Seokjin is talented in the kitchen and spent his whole life working for us. We trained him well!’ ‘Don’t worry about him abusing his power. He knows exactly how it is for everyone!’” Seokjin’s says, his voice inotating the same pattern of his mother. 

“Well, she wasn’t wrong. You are all those things,” you argue, lacing your fingers in his. You know it’s not necessarily appropriate behavior between a boss and his employee, but at this moment, you’d argue Seokjin needs a friend more than anything. 

“I’m not, though, Y/N. I didn’t sacrifice anything to do this. It wasn’t some great act of loyalty where the son with a promising future gives up his dream for his family business. In fact I had to beg my parents to let me work here! Because I, their failure of a son, lost everything and had nowhere else to go! And the shit I ended up doing to even keep myself afloat…I’m not a great leader. I’m nothing more than a fraud.”

Seokjin rakes his free hand through his hair. 

“I had a good life before this Y/N. A good job, a nice house, a fi-...just..I was living a dream that I no longer have for myself is all. But at the time I was on top of the world and now I feel like such a fucking failure.” 

Seokjin looks like he’s falling apart, eyes darting madly as he shifts around, suddenly transforming into nothing like his usual cool, goofy self. 

You need to stop this from getting worse. To distract him and stop him from talking himself into a pit of despair. If Seokjin’s mouth is occupied somehow, he can’t continue with all the negative self-talk. 

A stupid idea flashes in your head. You don’t even think before you roll with it. 

“Jesus, I can’t even manage properly. I messed up Mino’s paycheck a few weeks ago and I’m still not sure how it happened. I’m just not–”

Your lips connect with Seokjin’s, your legs wrapping around his waist to tug him closer as you move your body against his. Seokjin returns the kiss in earnest, parting his mouth to welcome your tongue as you lap the words out of his mouth. 

His plush lips feel so soft against yours, his taste a bit bitter from the coffee you both drank earlier, but you find yourself craving more of it, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth with the hope that maybe you can absorb it. 

Seokjin groans in response, gripping your hand tighter, his other settling on your lower back as he pulls you closer. If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear every atom in your body is vibrating at a higher frequency from his touch. You want to feel him everywhere. 

You break the kiss, and see Seokjin’s eyelids are heavy, almost like he’s drunk. You’re about to move back in, to tongue along his sweaty, long neck, suck on his protruding Adam’s apple. 

That’s when you hear it. The slam of the back door as your coworkers arrive.

Seokjin jolts back, breaking the hold you have around his waist with your legs. 

His mouth looks a little red and swollen. And his eyes are wide, panic flashing across his face. 

“I–I’m sorry!” 

Before you can reassure him, tell him that you’re the one who should be sorry, you started this, who crossed this line between boss and employee by kissing him, Seokjin bolts from the kitchen. 

You sit for a minute, stunned, and then look around, taking in the scene around you. The carrot shavings all over the counter, the discarded one still on the floor. Your knife is unsheathed again. There’s containers of tofu and seaweed just abandoned in a pile next to a large pot. 

And you can feel the puddle forming under you from where the ice has begun to melt. What the fuck just happened? What mess did you just get yourself into? 

The rest of your shift, you’re anxious. Especially because you’re short-staffed due to the weather forecast, which has led to three call-outs from people who commute from across town. That means you’re performing multiple roles: taking orders, bussing tables, seating customers, and getting appetizers, drinks, and side dishes ready for each group of people coming through the door. 

Seokjin was right in his prediction; you guys are slammed. And because there’s less staff, that means Seokjin is orbiting around you, following behind with cleaning rags as you finish bussing or running into you in the narrow doorway as you both attempt to fetch an order from the kitchen. You’re both flushed and sweating, the hairs on the back of your neck now matted down. 

Your mind is swirling around that kiss and its consequences, but you don’t have time to lose focus; the minute you finish one thing, you’re pulled into another task for a temporary distraction.

Only to be thrust back into the reminder of this morning when Seokjin lightly caresses the small of your back as he squeezes behind you to grab more plates. 

If either of you ever need a break, you don’t say so, only pausing in between rushes to pee, take a bite of something, and chug water before you’re thrown back out into the mess. 

Finally, after you elect to work a double, it’s closing time.

“Y/N!” Seokjin calls you from the front as you scrub the grime off a stack of dirty dishes.

Your pulse quickens. You’re the last one here. The storm kicked up an hour ago, and since you live the closest, you shoved your coworkers out the door so they could get home before the roads were a mess. 

You dry your hands on your messy apron, pulling out your phone and wincing at the slew of missed calls, texts and notifications. You were supposed to stream again tonight with a bunch of other girl gamers as a part of a “Galentine's Day” collab, playing dating simulation games as a warm up before jumping into some first person shooters. 

You’d reached out to cancel once you saw the stress tugging at Seokjin’s face, his jaw set, his brow constantly furrowed. While the other streamers were completely understanding, you still have a ton of notifications from your social channels asking if you are okay and some texts from Wonwoo and a few other friends asking the same. 

You’ll fill them in later. But now, you have to face Seokjin. 

He’s sitting at a freshly wiped-down table, counting the drawers and preparing the deposit slip. 

He ushers you over and gestures at the stack of cash, silently asking you to verify his numbers. You comply, the room silent less the shuffling of bills or coins under your fingertips and your habitual mouthing of the numbers to ensure you don’t lose count. 

He nods at your final calculation, jotting the number down on the sheet and placing the bills together. You turn and begin to head back to the kitchen. 

“Wait,” he says, and you freeze. 

Your stomach is quickly turning into a bundle of knots. You suck your lips into your mouth as you spin back around, Seokjin’s eyes meeting yours. 

“I…” Seokjin takes a deep breath before continuing. “Listen. I’m really sorry about this morning. Today’s just been a whole mess and I really shouldn’t have been airing my frustrations to an employee like that. It was inappropriate and immature. I know better than to behave this way.”

Did you say your stomach was in knots? You mean it’s filled with heavy, sickening lead. “Oh, right. Uh, don’t. I mean, I started it. I just…you were panicking and I didn’t know what to do and I thought maybe this would help.” 

Seokjin’s brow furrows, a frown on his face. “Why are you apologizing when I’m clearly the one in the wrong here? Ah, no let me finish! I’ve always prided myself on my professionalism and ability to keep personal matters out of my work. And I failed in doing so, which takes advantage of you since I’m your superior. You not only felt a need to comfort me but also stop me from spinning out. I’m truly sorry Y/N, about the oversharing and the um, kiss. I definitely gave into my emotions in a moment of weakness. Please forgive me, I promise I will never touch you again. This won’t happen again.” 

His head droops and he looks down, clearly ashamed.

Oh. So he doesn’t want this. Which, why would he? He’s right in that he’s your boss, and clearly Seokjin values his reputation and his job because they’re a reflection of not just him, but his family. Why risk that with someone like you?

You swallow the lump in your throat along with any response. There is the boundary, you know better than to cross it. 

As you move again, Seokjin rises from the table. “Y/N…you know what? You go home. The storm is really coming down.”

“But, there’s still mopping and all those dishes left,” you croak. Your voice is so hoarse from being dehydrated and talking all day that you barely recognize it as your own. 

“Don’t worry about those. You look and sound exhausted. It’s not your job to take care of everything. Go home, enjoy your romantic snowy trek,” he smirks, “and get some much needed rest. You’ve more than earned it.”

When you arrive home, your body slugs onto your bed, finally giving into the fatigue you’ve ignored all day. Your feet ache, your stomach now settled enough from your walk that you are starving. And you smell awful. 

As much as you want to fall asleep, you know that you at the very least need to eat something. 

With a groan, you rise, hobbling to your kitchen to make some instant ramyeon. The collab stream is now over, you learned this while finally checking your phone on your way home and seeing a thank you message blasted out by one of the streamers. Oh well. 

You suppose you could get back to your book, see what Prince August and his lover are getting up to in their reunion, but that seems like more brain power than you’re willing to give. 

You elect to eat, then take a shower, rinsing the grime of the day off you. When you step out of the shower, you see an ugly looking bump and purple bruise on your forehead. 

That’s right, you’d already forgotten about your injury from earlier. You touch it lightly and recoil from the sharp pain. Damn, maybe you should’ve checked to see if you were concussed earlier. You didn’t realize you hit your head that hard. 

You decide to ice it before bed, crawling under your covers and trying to rest while you play back your day. 

How you started is so significantly different from where you are now. When you woke up, you were eager and excited to be around Seokjin, to learn new skills and feel light and warm in his presence. Now, the idea of going back to work in a few days, to have to muddle through the rejection you got tonight and try to get back to a baseline makes you feel nauseous. 

Seokjin wants to make this all water under the bridge, and you want to do that for him. But it’s nearly impossible when he’s, well, him. He doesn’t understand how much more difficult it’s going to be to look at him because you’re not walking around with a face like that: perfectly balanced and delicate features and a full, delicious set of lips. 

God, he really did taste fantastic. You wonder what would’ve happened if you two weren’t interrupted. Would giving into his emotional need for comfort have given you more? You know it’s wrong to think about, because you're the one who took advantage of him, not the other way around. 

He can say he took advantage of you with his power imbalance or whatever, but you’re the one who was seconds away from licking down that thick neck or grinding back onto that massive cock. 

Fuck, that’s right, Seokjin is huge under all those clothes and your ass got to experience rubbing against it today. And maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but he seemed like he was a little hard. 

If Mino and the others had been just a little later, you might have seen it. They might have walked in on you on your knees as you choked on it, Seokjin’s moans and whines echoing in the kitchen. 

Because now from kissing him, you got a taste of those little noises he makes. And the memory has you becoming slick and needy. 

It’s late. Too late to read your smutty book, especially since you’re not at the next smutty scene yet. August and his beloved are just reuniting. You’re sure it’s bound to be good, but you don’t have that kind of patience right now. You need to cum, to get your ideas about Seokjin and what he firmly set as a boundary out of your head once and for all. 

Which means you need to give your fantasy of him out of your head too. You shove the ice pack you’ve been holding to your head aside, ready to relieve some tension. 

You reach under your shirt and gasp when the chill of your icy hand plucks at one of your nipples. Yes, you need more of this. 

You touch the other one with your other hand, disappointed that it’s warm. And then you get a fantastic idea. You grope around for a moment until you feel the cold cloth housing the ice cubes from your freezer and pluck one out. It melts quickly in your hand, but the cold water is stimulating as you feel it run down your forearms, a droplet or two rushing down and reaching the heat of your armpit. You pull the large shirt you use as pajamas  up further with your other hand, fully exposing your chest and stomach to the chilly air of your apartment.  

The ice cube drips over your navel. You hiss as the new sensation floods your core with warmth. Some of the water pools in your belly button, a satisfying dampness taking over your body. Then, you drip the melting ice cube onto each nipple and relish how erect and sensitive they’ve become from your arousal. 

Your breasts are plush, something you love to grab and tug as you play with yourself. They’re heavy, the weight of gravity tugging them down instead of staying up as porn once made you believe was possible. 

You can understand why people sometimes get caught up playing with tits all the time. They’re arguably fun to play with. 

As the ice cube warms and shrinks, you become more curious, taking it between your fingers and swirling it directly over each nipple, a shock of cold hitting them and your hips bucking in pleasure. More. Whatever you’re feeling right now, you need more of it. 

You rip your sleep shorts and panties off in desperation, splaying your legs open and aiming yourself up so the last drips of the ice cube can fall directly onto the folds of your pussy, a few dribbles landing right on your aching clit. 

Heat, that’s what you actually feel. Fire and ice swirling together in a decadent and hot pleasure. You reach over and grab another cube, this time skipping the teasing and touching the ice right to your clit. It’s a lot. Too much. Not enough. The pain shooting through your clit is also full of so much pleasure and you don’t want to stop. 

You rock against your hand, rubbing your clit with your fingers as the ice melts, mixing the wetness of the water with your own, getting you messier, hotter, hungrier. 

The memory of Seokjin holding the ice pack flits through your head, how cold his one hand was as it held yours, similar to the chill of your own hand as you grind it against your pussy. You need something inside of you. Now. 

And unfortunately for you, all your toys are currently dirty. When you finished streaming last night, you made good on your promise to fuck yourself until you passed out, which means your collection of dildos and vibrators are now discarded in a pile next to your bed that you’d intended to wash after work today. 

You insert a finger and sigh. It’s not enough. The angle is too awkward and you can’t get far enough in. Seokjin’s hands are much larger than yours, capable of pumping his long fingers deep within you, to get to the part of your core that is aching. If he were here right now, he could be itching that scratch, a smug look on his face as he comments on how soaking wet you are for him and commands you to cum. 

Ugh. You said you wouldn’t think of him, yet here he is again, stirring up inside your fantasies. You can’t give in, you need to distract yourself, look at another face so you can feel motivation. 

You remove your fingers, wipe them on the damp washcloth next to you, and reach over on your side table for your laptop. 

You don’t watch a lot of porn, finding the videos often too fake, but you’re desperate. You scroll through the website, quickly losing some of your arousal as you click through pages of straight porn, the ones you know that will have some awful plot, or the woman has some nasal and fake moan that kills your buzz. Or the guys are so ugly, proving that porn always has the male gaze in mind. 

You just need to cum. Today has been awful enough, and knowing you have to stream tomorrow again is already causing you to wind up. No, this is necessary stress relief. An unwinding. Make it dirty and to the point. 

You click over into the other categories. You need just a man, someone else who isn’t Seokjin. You hover over the male masturbation tag, still disappointed. Then you see a banner ad for a camming site: Worldwide Handsome, Hunks From Around the Globe. That, you think, seems more promising. 

Live cams are interactive, more with immediacy. Usually the guys on them are hot or gay or both and just ready to jack off for money and give in to some dirty talk. Even the gay camboys don’t always care if women are viewing. Money is money. 

You click the banner, praying this doesn’t immediately give your computer a hundred viruses that will delete all your coursework you’ve saved to the harddrive. 

Luckily, it’s a legitimate website, much like OnlyFans, just with the emphasis on queer men from every country. You might just be saved. 

There are so many categories to choose from: couples, kinks, trans, bisexual, furries, just chatting, BDSM, interactive games, private rooms. It’s a little overwhelming. You select the “solo” tab, which, of course, has the most videos under it, and begin exploring. 

You click on one that seems promising, but quickly exit out because the user has fallen asleep and it feels too intimate. 

In another, the streamer is yelling at his chat for outting him to his parents, and you exit out of that as well. 

You’re about to give up when you refresh the page, but then a recently started stream catches your eye. It’s quickly gaining views, and has a little “1” next to it, probably to indicate that this streamer is the most popular one in his category. 

The title for the stream is Unwind with me. Late night play with Daddy which makes your core throb a little with promise. The thumbnail is black, which is a little odd, but you’re curious who this “Daddy” is and how he plans on helping his viewers unwind. Because that is exactly what you need. In his associated tags, there’s a tiny banner at the bottom that urges you forward “all genders welcome”. 

You click the link, and the video itself is black, but there’s still hundreds of comments fluttering through the chat. Is your stream broken? This sometimes happens when you stream too, but after a quick refresh you realize that the screen isn’t black. There’s a little bit of light pouring through whatever is covering the camera, detecting some movement through the veil. 

“You don’t know how stressed I am today,” a low voice groans. 

Whoa. You lean closer, tapping the volume button on your laptop to the max and leaning back. God, whoever this guy is, he sounds hot. This might actually work to get you off and get over Seokjin.

You balance your laptop on your knees and roll your hand down your stomach and between your legs, finding your aching clit and sighing as you delight in your touch. 

“I know we don’t always play games like this baby. I know you usually like it when I beg. But I can’t play like that today. It’s been so long since I got to fall back into what I desperately, absolutely need.”

His voice is so seductive yet also comforting in a way that’s familiar. You feel more of your arousal dripping out of you, and you scoop it up to swirl it around your clit, feeling a little twinge of that white hot pleasure return to you. 

“And what I need is to take the edge off, to remind all of you who is in charge. Some of you have been very, very bad lately. Haven’t I given you enough? A two-year anniversary stream? I gave you all my cum didn’t I? All of it.” 

The chat is going nuts, comments replying with “yes Daddy” accompanying tips that vary from twenty bucks to one thousand dollars spilling in. You check his timestamp. He’s only been live for five minutes and he’s already getting this much? Even your most successful streams take hours to reach a little over a thousand after royalty cuts. 

To his credit, though, if you had a grand to drop on him, you just might, and that’s going by his sexy voice alone.

“I let you watch me spill from my cock, let you see me touch myself. And you were greedy. Don’t think I don’t know what you did. I saw your questioning comments, trying to shame me for muttering someone’s name in pleasure. But I’m not ashamed. I’m proud.”

Fuck, what you would do to have this guy moan your name. You feel your orgasm approaching and rub yourself harder, a soft squelch echoing through your room.

“You took what I gave you for granted, you fucking whores. And now, you need to be punished.” 

You’re so close, the little peaks of pleasure starting to build up higher in intensity. 

The mystery man stops talking, and you along with the chat, begging for more. 

“Please,” you moan at your screen. 

Suddenly, you hear it, a wet, slick sound. Fuck, is he touching himself? 

“It’s been a long day. All day, I was working and I was so horny because some people in this world can’t stop fucking teasing me, tempting me to punish them, just like you.”

You feel the tremor of your first orgasm, but it’s not as sharp, more like a hint of what is to come. You pinch your clit between your fingers, sighing a little bit at the relief of pressure.

“You’ve all been very bad. And until you show me you can be good, I’m going to pump my cock and not let any of you see. You think you can do that? You think you can be my good little subs and prove to me you’ll behave?”

Oh god. Fuck. He’s insane, he’s so hot and insane, and you’re also insane, nodding along. The condescension is so hot, and it reminds you of earlier in the kitchen, when Seokjin scolded you for not being safe with the knife. His voice got rough just like this guy. And it makes you feel so needy and desperate. 

Please, you beg silently, just like how you did this morning. I’ll do anything. 

Almost as if he knows this, you hear a moan carry through your speakers. You assume he’s reading the comments and tips with promises to behave. You clench around nothing, really wishing at least one of your toys was clean for you to use to feel less empty. You’re never falling asleep without washing them again. 

“Good, that’s what I like to see. Now remember, you don’t get to cum until I get to cum. Go ahead and play with yourself for me, get yourself all worked up. And then be good and listen. I’ll tell you what to do next.” 

Whoops. Well, the first one didn’t count. You aren’t satisfied. 

He groans, signaling that he’s stroking himself again, rough jerks you can hear from the way his hands are sliding over his (you assume) lubed cock. 

“You want to see me cum? You want to earn it all over you? You know what you have to do, my pretty little subs. Work for it. And not a penny less.” 

In a frenzy, the tip jar continues to buzz in the bottom corner, the graphic of coins depositing into it glitching out a bit as it fails to keep up with the volume of tips. While he’s the most popular streamer on this site, it’s not as though the website is the only one of its kind, and that means that his couple hundred viewers are putting in the work and the cash. 

You watch the numbers rise next to the tip jar as his subs showcase their double entendre: both his subscriber count soars and his comments flood with loyal submissives.

Please, Daddy. Please let me cum. 

I’m sorry Daddy. I’ll be good, I swear. 

Remove the blindfold please! I need to see your big cock! 

Ah, it’s a blindfold. Of course. 

The graphic of the jar changes, exploding and sending animated dollars and coins across the screen. This is wild. His viewers have already met the milestone. They’ve just raised ten grand in less than 15 minutes. That has to be some kind of record. 

He tuts and the sound of it punches your gut. Why does he sound so familiar?  “Tsk, that wasn’t so hard, was it? I knew you could do it. You want my forgiveness that badly, huh? Okay, I’ll give you what you need. I’ll forgive you.” 

Your pussy is throbbing. You’ve had to scale back the touching, feeling a weird sense of obedience to this camboy that you can’t describe. 

There’s a ruffling sound and the camera jolts before light pours into view, a blur of shapes and colors you can’t make out greeting you until it comes into focus and you’re met with a massive, leaking cock. 

“Holy shit,” you moan, finding your footing on your bed and moving your resting hand from your inner thigh back to your clit. 

The camera is framed from the user’s toned abs down to just the top of his thighs, showing off his heavy, tight balls and red, angry tip. 

“Is this what you’re begging for?” 

Yes, you shudder a breath. Yes. 

Large hands with long knobby fingers run along his thighs, one sweeping under to cup his balls while the other works his shaft, thumb sliding over his slit to rub precum around the tip. 

“Alright, then.” He begins pumping, smooth, tight jerks that have him squeezing his length and encouraging more strands of precum to leak out. He falls into a steady rhythm and you mirror the pace on your clit, gasping for breaths as you become all the more sensitive now that you have a visual to follow. 

“My face? Oh, no. You didn’t earn the right to see that. Don’t start with me. If you want to see my face when I cum, you have to reach the next milestone. You know the rules.” 

You don’t know the rules, but you hope someone else will be desperate enough to reach it for you. You’re dying to know what he looks like. 

Almost instantly, the money animation explodes on the screen again. A $5000 tip. Jesus Christ.

“Ah, of course mapl3stor33, I should’ve known it was you. Always so good to me.  Because of you I got to get that new collector figurine. Thank you. Well everyone, because of mapl3’s generosity and mmm…loyalty…fuck. I guess I’ll let you get your full fantasy. Let you see my face as you imagine you get to make a mess of me, milk my fucking cock all over you and let me make a mess of you.” He’s moaning as he speaks, pausing between sentences to pump himself harder as he gives “Maple” a proper shout out. 

Your cheeks heat in embarrassment. It’s one thing for you to create the fantasy, but him acknowledging it with some judgment, as though you’re not good enough to even fantasize about him, it’s leading you quicker to your undoing. 

His pace builds to a heavy, slick rut. His hands are slightly red, almost like how yours looked after washing the dishes before Seokjin kicked you out. 

Wait. Red hands. His look similar to Seokjin’s, with the same knobby long fingers. And the figurine and Maple…like, MapleStory? 

There’s no way. No, you’re clearly just losing it with your fantasies. This one is taking it too far. 

“Fuck, yeah that’s it baby. Touch yourself. Be good for me. Where do you want my cum? Oh, you dirty slut, fuck, yes. Okay, I’ll cum all over myself. Just for you. Shit. Almost, come on.”

Your fingers are still following his lead, unable to stop, so close to finishing, to the release. 

He moans, his hands blurring as he strokes fast and hard, jerking into himself. And that’s when you know. You heard that moan. You caused that moan. 

With a final solid, slightly whiny grunt, he backs up. His face coming into frame, and the first strands of thick white release cascades across Seokjin’s chest as you focus in on the pure bliss washing over him, his head thrown back and mouth shaped into a delicious “o”. 

“Oh, fuck. Take it, take my cum. Yes, that’s it. That’s my best girl, so good for me. Such a good girl.” 

The second you hear the praising fall from Seokjin’s mouth, he takes you over the edge with him. Your body rockets into your orgasm with a heavy clench of your core, feet losing their solid hold below you as you begin to shake and succumb to the feeling. 

You’ve unwound, the tension of your body unfurling as you’re cast out to sea, your body bobbing along each wave with a newfound euphoria. Out here on the water, the world is silent except the ring in your ears. You bask in the peaceful ebb until you feel a tingling in your fingertips and toes calling you back, forcing breath back into your lungs with a heavy pant. 

Once you recenter, you gaze back at the stream, confirming that this is the smiling and grateful Seokjin you just saw three hours ago. 

He called you a good girl. He came all over his sweaty chest. And he’s the top streamer on a gay sex cam site. 

©2024 by jooniperbonsai

#seokjin smut #bts smut #jin smut #ksj #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #kim seokjin

[fandomandfuntimes]

There's Two (Leviathan X Reader)

Location: Leviathan's room

Summary: Levi is embarrassed to get sexually intimate with MC. How could they possibly love him after his peculiar secret?

Notes: I’ve been thinking about Levi and MC making out and fooling around in his bathtub for the first time and I couldn’t get it out of my head so this fan fiction was born

What to expect: NSFW, Smut, Fluff, comforting, 2 dicks, fishlike Levi, blow job, stroking cocks, established relationship. (posted to Wattpad and AO3) I'm currently only caught up to chapter 32.

Things were getting pretty heated between you and Leviathan. It took him a bit to warm up to the idea that you wanted him. Why would someone want to date an icky shut-in like him? 

You, of course, knew why you wanted someone like Levi. He was kind to you, creative, artistic, and most of all he was so fun to share games with.

You sat in the bathtub playing your Switch, listening to Levi frantically click around to collect his daily rewards before midnight. It was cozy being in Levi’s room, anime music usually played softly in the background to cover up awkward silences and his typing was comforting; it reminded you that he was there. 

The clock hit midnight and you heard Levi’s hands smack the desk victoriously. Now that that was over, he came over to look at what you were playing.

“I’d recommend upgrading before continuing.”

You smile as you feel his breath tickle the back of your neck.

“Levi! I know how to play.” 

“If you say so. But I did see that you need 2,000 XP to be eligible for the boss fight and upgrading your sword would both be tactical for the final fight as well as give you the points that you need to enter the final battle. Especially since you made your last two upgrades, upgrades to your overall HP ones.”

You sigh and ignore his helpfully arrogant advice to inquire about his game. 

"So did you get all your dailies?" 

Levi's heart skipped a beat. He loved that you genuinely wanted to hear about his game.

"Yes! If you log in for 30 days in a row, you’ll get a special mystery skin for your character. Missing out on that would make me look like some casual normie."

You turned slightly to look at him and vented your mutual understanding. 

"I get it! I missed out on the holiday skins from last year, and it’s taunting to see other players posting about it.”

Levi nodded in agreement.

“So that means you’ll understand if I cancel/postpone any of our future plans this month it’s because I had crucial business to attend to?”

“Absolutely.” 

You playfully and sincerely place a small kiss on Levi’s lips, causing him to become flustered. 

"Hey! MC warn me, I have to be prepared for normie contact like that!"

You sat up a bit to lean over the tub and placed your face inches away from his. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. Levi, I'm going to kiss you, ok?"

Your breath was hot and teasing against his lips. He nodded in shock.

"O-okay."

This time you didn't hold back. The kisses started out slow and deep but before you knew it, you were pulling Levi into the tub with you.

His hands caressed your back as you slipped your tongue between his teeth. He shuddered and melted into your kiss, allowing his tongue to enter your mouth. You purred as you felt his tongue brush against yours. Things began to heat up between your thighs and you let it build until…

…You couldn't take it anymore. Your arousal was hot between your legs and you just had to relieve it, it needed to be touched! You began to grind yourself against his massive bulge.

"Mhmm.."

Sweet moans of pleasure were released from Levi's mouth and into yours. Fuck he's huge you thought as you attempted to grind from underneath his kiss. You moaned greedily at the feeling of him pressed up against your heat.  

Things were going well. That was until you began to reach down to touch him and Levi anxiously grabbed your wrist to pull you away. 

"Sorry MC, but can we just make out some more? I mean unless you're done with that…I don't blame you for not wanting to continue. Who would want…"

Your lips connected with his shutting him up. 

"Levi I want whatever you are comfortable with. Just know that I do want you."

You longingly shove your tongue back into his mouth, pulling him deeper into the kiss by his shirt. You began to lick and suck his neck helping him quickly fall back under your spell when you find the most sensitive parts of it and flick your tongue across it. 

Levi grinds against you, falling victim to his arousal at that moment. Fuck what he wouldn't do to have sex with you, but he couldn't. He couldn't let you know about his little…big problem, you'd think he's a freak. But, oooh, he wanted you.

Levi began to lose himself in thought. His breath began to quicken and his attention became less involved as he bullied himself in his head.

You noticed and stopped to check on him.

"Levi, are you ok? We don't have to do this, you know."

He turned beet red. Now I'm ruining everything, MC is going to stop! What do I tell them? 

You sit up and adjust yourself to look into his eyes. He refuses to make eye contact as his thoughts swallow him whole.

"Levi?" 

Your concern only makes him more anxious, he gulps in an attempt to ease the lump in his throat. 

"MC…"

His long pauses cause anxiety to well up in you as well, and it shows on your face. 

Look, now you’re ruining their good time. Just say it! Say it! With his thoughts now ringing louder than anything in the room, Levi manages to yell out only two words. 

"THERE’S TWO!”

He caught his breath after the words as if he just ran a marathon. You squint your eyes at him in confusion.

"Huh?"

"I-I"

He places his hand on his heaving chest and then nods down to his crotch. 

"I-I h-have two penises." 

He manages to spit out the words between shaky breaths. You look at him, down at his bulge, and then back up at him.

"Can I see them?"

He blushes as he feels his cocks re-stiffen at your proposal.

"Like- them, them?"

He said in disbelief. 

"Yes, I want to see your two cocks."

His cocks twitched in his pants and he couldn't help but feel like a spectacle. 

"Levi…I won't make fun of you or think you're a freak." 

The look on your face was genuine and your words were sweet and comforting, how could he not comply? With a sigh, he looked away from you and pulled the front of his pants down. His two cocks sprung free, fully erect. You blushed and took a moment to process what you were seeing. Your long pause prompted Levi to begin to talk.  

"It's fine if you leave. Go ahead. I can tell on your face that your disg-"

You look down in awe and interrupt him.

"-Can I touch them?"

"W-WHAT? UH-NO!"

LEVI.EXE stopped responding. Touch them? MC wants to TOUCH THEM? What should I say? I mean I’ve thought about MC touching them, but to actually have them touch them. Levi was so paralyzed with the hundreds of sexy anxiety-ridden thoughts in his head that he almost didn’t correct his answer. 

“I MEAN-SHIT-UH NOT NO SURE, Y-YEAH IT’S OKAY IF YOU TOUCH EM.” 

His face glowed bright red. Levi isn’t used to being so honest. His eyes were glued to your hands as they both made their way to his cocks. You wrapped your hands tightly around both of them at the same time. 

“A-ah!”

Levi shook under the warmth of your touch, grabbing the edge of the bathtub to steady himself, it took everything he had not to cum right then and there. 

It would be so embarrassing if I came just from this. 

He thought, but that thought only made him harder. You began to slowly stroke his cocks in unison, watching yourself intently. You were mesmerized by such an interesting feature. 

Levi on the other hand was melting and squirming under each stroke. 

“O-oh. A-ah. MC.”

His eyes rolled in the back of his head and he collapsed into the tub when you spit on them to wet them. 

“MC…”

“I-I’ve got one other thing…”

He could barely get the words out of his mouth because you wouldn’t stop stroking him. You decided to have a little fun and placed your mouth over Levi’s cock and began to bob your head. That’s when. 

“U–h-h-h-h-h- MC.” 

Your eyes widen in shock as your mouth is filled with a peculiar feeling substance.

“My cum is also…”

Levi hands you his plastic take-out cup by the side of his bed and you spit.

“…fish eggs."

#smut #leviathan smut #obey me smut #obey me leviathan #obey me levi x reader #obey me headcanons #obey me fluff

[tennybird]

I have opinions about TotK. This is your spoiler warning if you haven't played/finished it yet. Also all of this is, once again, just my opinion on it and not a decisive fact! I will probably misremember things!

Anyway.

Okay so basically as someone who got it on release and beat it within a week, I'm a little underwhelmed by the game now that I'm looking back over half a year later.

It's not a terrible game! I'll say that first and foremost. But after waiting so long for it, and trying so hard to not hype myself up for it (failing horribly at that), it feels just a bit... same-y. The story is nice, and it's different. The boss fights and abilities you gain during your travels are nice. Everything else, though...

I like the map having stayed similar, with enough changes that I have to relearn some areas. The Depths are really fucking cool, and figuring out on my own that they're a negative of the overworld was incredible! But the sky islands were a little disappointing, I think. When we were told we'd be in the sky a lot, I thought there'd be more large islands like the tutorial one that you could walk around on. More references to Skyward Sword, too. It feels to me that they put more love into the Depths than the sky, in a way.

I like the main story. Figuring out Zelda was the Light Dragon (but not really believing it until the final Tears), and that she'd essentially spent thousands and thousands of years trapped inside herself, was AWESOME. Every cutscene involving her as the Light Dragon hit me hard, and I felt genuine sorrow everytime I saw her floating around the sky.

...That being said, I DO wish we could have a game where you get to actually travel with her. I WANT her to tell me about the minor lore of the world! I want to know about the various flora and fauna, and I want her to talk about Hyrule's history! Zelda is part of the royal family, and I'd imagine that part of her studies pre-BotW she'd have to learn about the history of her family (especially because of the importance of the Goddess' blood...). With how pre-BotW went between her and her powers, and her and her father, I'd imagine she'd make it a point to learn more about their history that ISN'T just the prophecy.

I, personally, did not like most of the temple boss fights. I can't really explain much of why- except for Queen Gibdo. I HATED Queen Gibdo because of all the smaller Gibdo chasing you, trying to chase down Riju for her power... It was a lot of things stacked on each other, and simply not my thing. Colgera was an absolute favorite however! The boss theme is AWESOME, the mechanics of being in the air and having to watch for projectiles, as well as crashing through the ice sheets to take it down? VERY, VERY FUN. Climbing through the sky just to get to the temple itself was one of my favorite experiences. Going up and up and up, and finally reaching the top where you break out above the storm clouds and see clear skies...

A thing that bothers me about the temples is that the cutscene at the end, where the ancient Sages gifts their powers to the new ones... I feel like they could've spent a little more time making them different, even if that meant more time in development. I would be okay with that! I think games should be in development longer in order to produce a good, finished product! Anyway.

The fight with Ganondorf was fun for me. I get SUPER immersed in it, so it was a fearful moment when I thought I'd beaten him, only to see his health bar fill again... and then go offscreen. And the DEMON DRAGON FIGHT? Holy SHIT.

I just wish there was more... substance to the game, I guess? It feels weird saying that. There are more things to do, but it's missing something I can't name. Something BotW had, but is now gone. I like TotK, like I said. It's clearly had love put into it, and I'm glad the developers spent more time on getting it as close to the perfect image they wanted as they could. Maybe it's just cause I've spent more time with BotW (over 300 hours), but I think I'm a little biased towards it. Maybe I'm just getting older and grumpier about vidya games, too. Who knows!

If you read all this, cool! I will reiterate that this is simply my view on it! If your view is different, good!! I'm happy to know there are people out there who enjoy it more than I did. Or if you hate it more than I do, maybe you have other things you want to point out about it that I missed.

#james speaks #long post #loz #totk #the legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #i love reading people's opinions so please tell them to me if you want somewhere to ramble!! #zelda #totk spoilers #tears of the kingdom spoilers

[shuttershocky]

As an avid DMC fan, what would be your recommended play order of the games for someone looking to get the full DMC experience? Most people online seem split between starting at 3 or 1 (though most agree on skipping 2).

Most? You mean there's someone out there actually recommending you play 2? Terrifying.

If you want the DMC experience, buy the Devil May Cry HD collection (contains 1-3 Special Edition, but really it's more like 1 and 3 Special Edition) and take your pick:

Pick DMC1 if you want to see how the series started. It's not fully Devil May Cry yet and its former identity as a Resident Evil 4 prototype is still somewhat recognizable, but you'll appreciate what eventually became the foundation of modern day action games.

Pick DMC3 if you want to see Devil May Cry once it really found itself. This is the game that made Vergil his own character (beyond just being a brainwashed boss in DMC1), introduced Lady, styles, Devils Never Cry, basically all the finishing touches to Devil May Cry's identity. Do note that I recommend that you install a "style switcher" mod when you play 3. Usually you have to select a style at a statue, but the Switch version lets you swap styles on the fly like in DMC4 and 5, and this was implemented in no other versions. lol.

After you go through your first pick, you can then play the other, before moving on to 4 and 5.

DMC4 is... kinda rushed, and also came out in that odd 2008-2010ish time period where Capcom games like Resident Evil 5 were completely normal and then they'd randomly do something racist (for DMC4, a new dark-skinned character just turned out to be an old, light-skinned character in a magic disguise, which... yeah), but it did introduce Nero, as well as had the most complex ever Dante whose skill ceiling was so high (despite not having a moveset as huge as DMC5 Dante) that many hardcore players still swear by DMC4's combat system. DMC4 would also lead to the creation of DMC's "sister" game, Bayonetta.

Finally, there's DMC5, the latest game released in 2019 after a 10 year hiatus in which absolutely positively no other DMC games came out whatsoever. None. I mean it.

I recommend you play this last, since 5 is a love letter to the entire series from 1's enemies being V's summons to its reenactment of Dante vs Vergil to even making the Devil May Cry anime canon to the games by making Morrison a cast member and including a cameo from Patty. The game also sets up Nero as the main protagonist for the series going forward, and he really comes into his own in this game.

That being said, 5 is actually really good as a starting point for new players. It's got very accessible difficulties, well-balanced enemies, a robust training mode, no puzzles (you could really get stuck in those, I know I did) and even an autocombo mode that automatically makes combos for you that you can turn on and off at any time without even pausing. If you've always been intimidated by the bar for mechanical skill and by DMC's reputation for difficulty, 5 offers you good training wheels and won't compromise your DMC experience for using them. You can start here just fine and work your way backwards.

[toyota-supra]

My Top 10 Favorite Games I Played In 2023

In chronological order. It's a long one.

Titanfall 2

I've been told to play this for years now, though for most of those I did not really know why, as it never seemed like my kind of game. But, ever since I started really getting into mecha sometime in 2022, I decided to finally give it a try. I'm very glad I did. Titanfall 2 is a criminally short First Person Shooter with a very fun mech/pilot dynamic, really good mechanics of movement and combat for both, and some of my favorite level design of any game I've played in a long while. The platforming is crazy good! The mechanics are tight as hell! The mech is awesome! I recommend Titanfall 2 for literally anyone reading this.

Mega Man Zero

The Zero series is the one that most called to me in the Mega Man franchise every time I looked these games over, and I was right in that judgement. While I couldn't say if I was going to appreciate most of the GBA era action platformer difficulty or not, it was clear from Zero's more agile movement and bite-sized missions with very memorization-heavy bosses that I would enjoy it. And I did enjoy it a lot! Most of the bosses kicked my ass but it was an absolute blast to finally learn their patterns enough to defeat them. The problem is, I went out of my way to not get any of the game's health upgrades or energy tanks, making the final boss so hard for me that after days and days of attempts I gave up. Not beating Mega Man Zero is probably my biggest regret of the year lmao

Fate/Stay Night

Honestly, what do I even say? You can see my Saber icon, right? Fate is a franchise I never bothered to get close to, knowing of its name only through vague images and names of more popular characters (not even from FGO, just in general), and from later on getting to know that Fate/Grand Order was the game it is I felt like it wasn't for me at all and who cares. So when I learned what the original VN was actually about I felt stupid. How could something so fitting to my tastes have gone under my radar for so long...? Despite not being much of a reader in general, F/SN is a very long game that feels like it's just as short as you need it to be. The prose flows so well, every single character is lovable in many ways, and there's so much passion written into them and the situations they're in that it's one of the most smooth-flowing VNs I've read (which granted are not many) even though it's around the high 6 digit wordcounts. I love this game dearly.

Stranger of Paradise - Final Fantasy Origin

I wanted to play this game since the first few trailers! How cruel was it that, not only did I not have a powerful enough machine at the time, but the game wasn't even on Steam until the year after release? Final Fantasy Origin is the game it presents itself to be. There's something about it that's so special to a certain kind of person (which I happen to be one of) and that falls flat for everyone else. The combat and its many Weapons, Jobs and Skills to use are just fantastic in how nice they feel, and I really do like the type of story Stranger tells. I haven't finished it yet, but I'm close to it. I like to describe Stranger of Paradise as everything good about PS2 and PS3 games in a modern title.

Pseudoregalia

An old feeling from a new friend. Pseudoregalia is everything I like in 3D Platforming, and a little bit of what I don't. If you've ever looked at a single gif or video of Super Mario 64 and thought, "this looks pretty fun to play," you should be playing Pseudoregalia. If you like goat ladies with big butts, I can't say I understand if that would sell you on a game or not, but it is a feature everyone mentions. I wrote on this game already, so please do check that out and get it. It's one of the three titles of this list that came out this year, and I have not heard enough people talk about it.

Armored Core VI - Fires of Rubicon

My favorite in this list, which is funny because I don't know what to say about it at all. Armored Core is a series I've been studying up on from the outside for a while, and the announcement for this title was my reason to finally dive in. Unfortunately, I did not get past playing the first mission of AC1 a few times and booting up AC3 once. But I will get to it eventually! Fires of Rubicon is one hell of an action game, that I adored for every single one of my (currently) 67 hours of play. Going through the campaign with builds a little too busted for the AI most of the time was my dishonorable focus of the experience, but there's a lot else to do for every kind of person. The amount of freedom you have for messing with your builds for either single or multiplayer is not to be underestimated. Though it could be better. Here's hoping there will be a game that is.

Midnight Club 3 DUB Edition Remix

I played this game as a kid so much that the main menu and its theme are scarred into my mind, yet this whole time I had no idea what the game was actually like due to the fact that most of my playtime was doing a few races and just cruising around. Once you dive into trying to finish the story, MC3 is a much different experience. One that frustrated me so much, I got actually ill from the stress. Please take breaks, gamers! Your health is more important than finishing an 18 year old game! Still, I did eventually do it. Midnight Club 3's handling model and gameplay structure are really impressive in comparison to the much more popular Need for Speed series, and I have to admit I did enjoy the game a lot. It's just a lot harder than it ever needed to be. I'll probably never forget this game, and that's not really a good or bad thing. Just, advice from me, if it gets too hard, maybe switch to sports bikes. Buy that Ducati.

Test Drive Unlimited

Another car game, but this one I have the least to say about of any on this list. I had played TDU on PS2 multiple times before and thought it was awesome. The atmosphere and immersion of this game are unrivaled by any racing game to this day. But playing the PC version with a steering wheel and pedals made everything so much more incredible. I played the Platinum mod, which adds hundreds more cars and fixes a lot of issues with the original game (but not all of them; the game was still really rough and I hate how much the resolution is a pain to change). Overall, one of my favorite experiences with a steering wheel controller so far. Otherwise, a pretty good game if you like driving.

Super Mario Sunshine

An old friend, and a new feeling. I don't play 3D platformers as much as I wish I did, because they're really not part of my main priorities looking for games lately, but every time I play a Mario game, it's like I found love again. It was not the first time I played Super Mario Sunshine, as I had collected a dozen or so Sprites years before, but playing the whole game in I think two weeks during the latter half of the year was such an incredible experience. Unless for some reason you play it on the Switch, Sunshine is a game that loves you as much as you love it. And you do love it, right? I know I do. I'd love to play this game many other times in the future. Granted, that applies to every game here, I just wanted to say it out loud for this one.

Lethal Company

A fairly recent release! Having played it with many groups of people by now, both modded and vanilla, I think Lethal Company is probably one of my favorite multiplayer experiences ever. It is scary and hilarious, but also just really really good, to a level that surprised me for my quality standards of co-op (horror) games. Lethal Company turns friends into improvised horror movie actors and it's incredible. I'm almost at 30 hours played and will likely get to 40 at minimum. It's also pretty cheap and likely runs well on all sorts of machines, so consider checking this one out too.

Honorable Mentions

Witch on the Holy Night and Story of Seasons - Friends of Mineral Town are games I am adoring and could definitely go on this list, hadn't I started them both quite late into December. Maybe next year I'll give them a shoutout!

#video games

[agentnico]

Blue Eye Samurai - Season 1 (2023) Review

Don't think I've ever seen so much human genitalia in animated form all in one go. Makes me wonder if the production team had a designated animator of genitals who literally just spent his time drawing penises for the show. If so, I hope it was Jonah Hill as he already proved in Superbad that he is the perfect artist for this subject.

Plot: Driven by a dream of revenge against those who made her an outcast in Edo-period Japan, a young warrior cuts a bloody path toward her destiny.

Netflix consistently hashes out so much content every week, that it is hard to keep up with any of it, as such many great projects get missed and are forever lost in the streamer's endless library void. Luckily Blue Eye Samurai didn't pass my scrolling and evidently has its fan base, as this is one of the quickest examples of the streaming giant announcing a season renewal after release. Yep, Blue Eye Samurai will be getting a second season which is amazing as this is a superb new series that if you haven't yet discovered then you are doing yourself a disservice and should amend that behaviour immediately and go watch it! Still need persuading? Alright, sit yourself down and allow me to gush about Blue Eye Samurai!...

It’s hard to overstate just how stunning Blue Eye Samurai is to look at. The series uses a mix of 2D and 3D animation styles to create landscapes and characters who seem only a few degrees removed from live-action, even as the form allows for combat on a scale that would cost several large fortunes to craft with flesh-and-blood actors. In fact, looking at the behind-the-scenes the team hired an actual martial arts choreographer to support in creating the combat sequences in real life with real people, and then the movements of those fights were transferred to animation and used in the final product. In one episode (seemingly inspired by the 1978 martial arts film Enter the Game of Death where Bruce Lee had to fight his way up to the tower to get to the last floor) the main samurai Mizu must defeat multiple bosses on each level of the season's big bad Fowler’s impregnable fortress home, and each separate battle is a work of art in itself. Honestly, the show just looks like a moving painting, with every frame absolutely jaw-dropping gorgeous. Even without dialogue or characterization, it would be completely engrossing.

Luckily, writers Michael Green and Amber Noizumi are as interested in the people at the center of these crazy fights as they are in the many improbable techniques Mizu uses against her opponents. Mizu is presented throughout as both supernatural and deeply human. She can handle any odds, and come back from every injury that would cripple or kill a normal person. But the series never loses sight of what a life wholly devoted to revenge has cost her, and the ways in which she has turned herself into every bit the monster that her countrymen believe her to be.

It is then also the exploration of how Mizu interacts with the other characters in this world. There's the disabled would-be apprentice Ringo (played warmly by Masi Oka), who has learned to navigate life despite his lumbering size and lack of hands. Mizu has no interest in a sidekick, but Ringo gradually wears her down, as if he’s a peaceful stream flowing against a rock over hundreds of years. There's also Taigen (Darren Barnett), a warrior chasing after Mizu to collect a debt of honour, yet due to this honour he ends up helping her as in his eyes only he has the right to kill her, no one else, so ends up attacking those that attempt to harm her. Brenda Song voices the princess Akemi, who is just as eager to escape the bonds of Edo society as Mizu is, but who uses very different methods to achieve that. We follow her journey through an intimate tour of the area brothels, which is where the aforementioned heaviness of nudity comes in. There is, in fact, a lot of naked flesh on display throughout the season. The series can be just as graphic in depicting sex as it is in violence, yet both avoid feeling gratuitous. And finally, there's Kenneth Branagh as this season's big bad Fowler, a despicable arms dealer who has no sense of morality or empathy and is willing to destroy anything standing in his path. He's a massive presence and seemingly the only one able to hold himself in a fight against Mizu, hence why Branagh's British snark yet heavy tone fits perfectly here.

The whole thing is an incredible, utterly badass example of how animation can be used to create worlds, characters, and adventure every bit as vivid as live-action if not more at times. Even though I would say there are a few areas of pacing issues, which withheld me from binging this season all in one go and instead had me taking regular break intervals throughout, this is still a stellar show and one that you can tell was created by a team of passionate filmmakers and artists. Blue Eye Samurai would never have had the impact it did had it been live-action - using animation as its storytelling medium elevated it to a masterpiece in my opinion. Kudos to everyone involved in such an amazing project and I can’t WAIT to see more!

Overall score: 8/10

#blue eye samurai #mizu #adventure #thriller #action #animation #digital animation #2d animation #netflix #michael green #amber noizumi #maya erskine #masi oka #brenda song #george takei #randall park #kenneth branagh #darren barnet #2023 #blue eye samurai review #tv series #streaming #samurai #adult animation #history #drama #sword #blue eye samurai season 1 #martial arts

[unparalleledfocus]

It's been a week since the release of the Octopath × Another Eden crossover! Here are my mini-reviews of their plots, which means spoilers for the crossover (none for the Octopath games as far as I could tell). I'll go in Octopath's (technically) chronological order so it'll be CotC, then OT, then OT 2.

I hope you enjoy!

tldr: It was nice :)

Future - Dressed in Fame (Tithi, Nicola + Suzette)

Can't believe they took two people from a fantasy renaissance era and made them a tiktok dancer and a video essayist youtuber.

Granted it was in a simulation to try and create an algorithm for harvesting fame but even after stopping that these two still wanted to actually become streamers/youtubers with their new friend.

A very fun story! Tithi and Nicola and Aldo being unfamiliar about about the modern times and video technology and things like that ends up with some silly moments where they just stop and ask "What does this even mean???".

Shout out to Nicola for being the "brains" of the group and also referencing her Thief job by stealthily stealing the cursed ring. Very cool.

Present - Some Small Power (Cyrus, Olberic, H'aanit + Shion)

My favorite! The final boss is also technically not the main villain himself but a poor animal he ends up controlling.

I really liked how this story incorporated Olberic and H'aanit. Olberic's stance on fighting to protect the peace and H'annit's on how nature must be respected but also cared for are well done and I liked it a lot! Cyrus is Cyrus, he's very silly and I love him. Shion didn't show up much but it was nice to see him when he did.

Also I like how it ties into the Octopath novel and minor lore a bit! It's just small bits like the year and Cyrus' dynamic with H'aanit as far as I could tell but it was lovely to see!

Also I really like this moment from the very beginning of this story:

Olberic: ...Did that person just appear out of thin air?

Cyrus: I'd say it was more like a distortion of some sort. That solves the mystery of how we came to be here, then.

H'aanit: It most certainly doth not!

Antiquity - The Sickness Wealth Brings (Partitio, Castti, Temenos + Shanie)

Partitio once again woke up and chose violence because of someone's abhorrent actions

And even after the boss battle, when the villain ends up with amnesia after loosing his cursed ring, Partitio goes "Great, you're back to normal! I'm still holding you accountable for all of this."

Nothing much to say here really. Solid story, solid characterization, Shanie and Castti's friendship was cute and I really liked Temenos here.

Journey's End (Final Chapter)

They called a dungeon "Journey's End" and it has an abandoned train stop theme. Absolute peak.

Can't believe I encountered another character who played a false role for decades to hopefully save people from a tragic fate and couldn't reveal the truth. I'm bummed Odysso never got to see his sister again and that he passed away when his mission was complete, but at least he left his finished journal for his old friend and Aldo and was able to move on more-or-less peacefully. The toast Aldo and the friend made in Odysso's name also hurt my heart. Heartbreaking, bittersweet and a nice conclusion to the story.

#I have many problems with Octopath CotC and some with Another Eden as well so I'm very happy with how Octolight Conductors ended up! #If you play Another Eden but haven't played the crossover or the Octopath games please do! #octopath traveler #octopath traveler 2 #octopath cotc #another eden

[muntiller2]

I wish they'd just apologize, you know?

Okay, I'm going to be honest here. The way the story is heading is shit and I haven't seen anyone praise it in ages.

It's funny right? It all comes down to the exact same spot in the story where everything goes to absolute shit: EE part 3.

I'm not gonna say EE entirely because acts 1 and 2 were rlly good imo, the murder mystery was fun and engaging and there was no narrative of people being flawless and perfect, it was just a bunch of isolated assholes trapped with a killer inside a house and trying to figure out who it is. I really liked that part!

Everyone knows how the story went from there so I'm not gonna describe it. We all know what went wrong by now, we all know who ruined everything and we all know how it ends.

Ever since then not only has the story suffered severely, but so has the gameplay. As said by a friend on discord: the scummy gacha stuff was forgivable because the "meta" wasn't necessary to enjoy the game, we had the story to hold that up and old valks could very well hold up in newer weather. Today? That shit doesn't fly anymore.

You guys remember when a Herrscher patch was something to be excited for? I do. You guys remember when we didn't have Herrscher after Herrscher after Herrscher being released back to back? I do.

This all means that today not only is the gacha even more demanding in a game that is already really fucking unforgiving, but the meta has also shifted in a way that's not sustainable for people who have older characters. Sure, they're giving one of the new Herrschers for free, but that doesn't change the fact we have a boss and weather that needs 3 different elements on the same team to work, fucking up every single comp I've seen so far that isn't HoO, HoFi and HoTr.

Mihoyo is not only burning through the community's goodwill in regards to the story (and they're burning it fast, I haven't seen anyone excited for new chapters as of late), but they're also burning through the goodwill of these same players when it comes to meta.

If the story is no longer keeping people entertained, they'll move to meta and if meta isn't viable, they'll stop playing.

Hell, I haven't played the newest chapter yet, not a single stage and I don't want to, the story completely burned me out. Do you know what I think when I remember a double Herrscher patch is coming next patch too? I just sigh because I'm tired.

You know what I wish mihoyo did? Apologize.

If they were fucking honest about the fact they fucked up and burned all of the goodwill their community had with them, a lot of people would be less salty about it. If they stopped pretending everything is fine and that everyone is loving where the game is going, people would be less willing to hunt them down with pitchforks.

I just wish they would admit that their story has gone to shit and that they ruined the characters they meticulously built for years, instead of trying to mend things with bandaids and a shiny new coat of paint over the cracks.

But of course, that's not going to happen because it won't. No other reason aside from the fact that it just won't.

I just really fucking wish they would make an actual announcement apologizing, reboot the story back to pre EE and try again with some actual soul into it. I don't think the community would be even mad to have a soft reboot given the vast majority has been doing their own rewrites and completely disregarding canon. With the amount of fucking amazing ideas I've seen coming from all of us, they could even take some of them and make an actual good story.

But once again, that won't happen because they have their heads so far up their asses that they can taste their own hair. It won't happen because they're sure that if they hammer into our heads that this is the new canon enough times, we'll all eventually accept it and shut up.

#honkai impact #honkai #elysium ever ranting

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Watchlist Tag Game!

Another unexpected tag game! This time from @waitmyturtles

Currently watching

A Boss and a Babe: Wasn't sure if I was going to watch this one because I'm not a huge fan of boss and subordinate as a positive romantic plot (looking at you GAP, sorry). But started watching it after seeing some of @respectthepetty's posts about Episode 4.

Bed Friend: If I were being accurate, I would have put this show down like four times in a row because I have rewatched all available episodes about four times, and honestly will probably watch the whole thing again. I love it so much, I do still think that Moonlight Chicken is my favorite show of the 2023 line up so far, but goddamn if I don't get overly attached to traumatized men.

Breaking Bad: Fun Fact! I have watched the first season of this show three times and never made it beyond that! So my friend set out to fix it and now we are trading one season of Breaking Bad for one show of my choice with a comparable number of episodes. Traded season one for Moonlight Chicken, and I'm trading season two and three for Word of Honor.

The Eclipse: Can't put my finger on why but for some reason I am obsessed with this show where the main character is a emotional repressed gay boy who has difficulty accepting himself and feels pressured to perform actions far outside what a teenager should be allowed to do because adults put pressure on him and because he doesn't want people to be disappointed in him...Anyway, with the Our Skyy 2 release date coming up how could I not rewatch this show I have already seen approximately six times?

The Eighth Sense: Have to thank @bengiyo for writing about The Eighth Sense, and everyone else that I follow that started watching this show immediately and started writing beautiful things about how queer it feels. It's my first Korean BL TV show (I did watch Wish You a few years back) and I am thoroughly enjoying my time so far!!

Unintentional Love Story: Don't have a lot to say about this show yet, I'm only two episodes in, but I think it's good so far!

Word of Honor: Rewatching this with my friend to try to get him to branch out of American television. I figured the costumes alone in this show would keep his interest, but let's be real, I was dying to see his reaction to my favorite little war criminal Wen Kexing who has done absolutely nothing wrong ever in his life, m'kay? This is my completely unbiased, objective opinion (do not look at my username).

Looking forward to watching soon

*ahem*

That is all...

...just kidding!

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves: Somehow, my tumblr blog accidentally turned into a primarily BL based blog, probably but actually before I was introduced to Word of Honor and then rapidly and descended into the Thai BL world from there (I know WoH is a cdrama, but I found KinnPorsche through a masterpost of queer asian media that was on the woh tag) my hyperfixation and truest love is playing Dungeons and Dragons. I've been in a campaign for 6 years now and recently started another campaign with another group! I wanted to see this movie when it came out but I had COVID and only now am freed from my self isolation! Heard it was good and fun and worth seeing in theaters so I am hoping to go soon!

Our Skyy 2: I just miss my boys, okay? I'm only human.

Only Friends: If the fact that I have watched KinnPorsche 14 times is anything to go by I love messy bitches, and this seems like a show full of messy bitches! Any show that requires a fucking flow chart to know their relationships to one another? I'm in! Also, I listened to the playlist that Jojo posted on Spotify and I was sold. This is definitely my most anticipated of 2023.

Still deciding if I’m gonna watch

Succession: I follow at least one person who has been posting a lot about Succession as the fourth and final season airs, and it sounds really good! I was actually convinced to start the first episode but I kinda fell off of it pretty quick. I think I was tired and I know like with any show the pilot is not the episode to judge something on.

Beef: Only putting this on here because I felt compelled to look it up in the tumblr tags today just to put some feelers out.

and that's it lol, I finsihed Shadow and Bone Season 2 and The Owl House so I don't really have any other shows that I am thinking about watching at the moment. If anyone who reads these block paragraphs has suggestions I'm all ears.

Well, anyone I was going to tag has been tagged by wmt so uhhhh, if you wanna do this game, take this as me officially tagging you!

#tag game #a boss and a babe #bed friend #bed friend the series #breaking bad #the eclipse #the eighth sense #unintentional love story #word of honor #d&d: honor among thieves #d&d movie #our skyy 2 #only friends #beef #succession

[keicordelle]

The Daily Inconveniences of an Au Ra: Recognizability

Being an Au Ra in Eorzea meant that, by definition, he had no anonymity. Oh, people feigned not recognizing him sometimes, offering him half-hearted comments like, "You don't look like you're from around here," or "Do you happen to know anyone who might be strong enough to...". But, as he'd encountered only a handful of other Au Ra in his time in Eorzea, and most of them living as discretely as possible, he really doubted that anyone on the continent hadn't heard his description. "Seven fulms tall with horns and a tail" was rather hard to miss, he judged, no matter the polite games strangers played.

Sometimes it worked to his advantage. He hadn't had to pay for an ale in many moons, and he was pretty well guaranteed work any time he needed it just by showing up somewhere. But most of the time... Most of the time his uniqueness was a burden.

Most problematic as an adventurer was that it made espionage and subtlety absolutely impossible. He couldn't blend in with a crowd if his life depended on it - and occasionally it did. Any enemies could pick him out a mile away, and forget trying to surreptitiously inquire about anything. No one was likely to forget that a giant lizard had come to ask about their boss's comings and goings, and it wasn't like he could pretend to be an inhabitant of any city on this continent. He could maybe have gotten away with it back in Othard, where at least Au Ra were relatively common, so long as no one thought too hard about the fact that his horns were black, not white.

At least it let him pretend that people were afraid of his reputation and not his alien appearance when they shrank from him at first meeting. The wide-eyed stares and pointing fingers of children in the streets were obviously because he was a great adventurer and not just because he was big and pointy and scaled. No matter that after years of relative isolation on the Steppe, several of the other races were equally unusual to him (what even was the deal with Miqo'te? Why did their tails have fur, but nowhere else on their bodies seemed to? And Viera, who had the ears of a rabbit but no other shared traits that he could see. Did they have little cottontails tucked into their pants?). At the very least, it made him far more willing to work with the so-called 'beast tribes' than any Eorzean he'd ever met. So what if they looked and acted a little different? Everything over here was bizarre anyway, and most would say the same about him. The main difference between Xaela and Amalj'aa that he could see what's the number of scales on their bodies - and that the latter had an even worse time blending in than he did. At least his stature was still within the realm of reasonability in a land where Roegadyn also flourished.

"Keshet?"

The sound of his name in the middle of a bustling street in Ul'dah should not have surprised him, but he still jumped. Sighing, he tugged off the hood that he'd pulled down over his face in an attempt to achieve anonymity and twisted to face the white haired Elezen who'd called out to him. "Hello Alphinaud."

The boy took in the cloak that covered his usual outfit and the tail Keshet had tucked under its folds and winced apologetically. "My apologies, were you attempting to disguise yourself?"

"Attempting and failing, it would seem," he responded wryly.

Alphinaud offered him a sympathetic smile. "Your horns leave quite an imprint against the hood, and the base of your tail juts out against the fabric. And I'm sorry to say that even without any of that, your gait will always give you away to those who are familiar with you." He cocked his head. "Why were you trying to hide your identity anyway?"

Cheeks heating, Keshet looked away. "I didn't want to be recognized while standing in line for the release of the new Wind-Up Scions toys," he mumbled. "I'm still missing Urianger."

Alphinaud coughed to cover the bark of laughter the admission elicited. "You- Ah. That is. Understandable. However, I think your disguise unlikely to succeed."

Taking a deep breath, Keshet rolled his shoulders and stripped off the cloak. "Then if I cannot hide, I shall simply have to be so unabashedly confident that none would think to question my presence." Ah well. In truth, hiding and subterfuge never became him anyway. And maybe his reputation would be enough to let him skip the line and finish off his collection.

Read the rest of the series on Ao3!

FIRST | PREV | NEXT

#ffxiv #ffxiv fanfiction #au ra #wol #alphinaud leveilleur #my writing #daily inconveniences #keshet dotharl #~K

[jooniperbonsai]

Thanks For The Sub | ksj (Teaser)

Pairing: Camboy!Seokjin x Gamer!Reader (afab)

Rating: 18+

Teaser length: 2378

Chapter One length: 11-14k

Release date: Fri. January 19, 2024.

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, camboy au, gamer au, comedy, crack, slow burn (?), coworkers/boss/friends to lovers, an exploration of adults in their late 20s/early 30s

Summary: After a clip of you sucking at video games goes viral, you've become somewhat famous, with thousands of subscribers now tuning in each week to see you play. Overnight, you've gone from a sexually frustrated grad student who reads smut in her room to a gamer girl (or rather, a not-gamer girl). This would have been the perfect job, except it was never the job you wanted. Desperate for money to pay for grad school, you bounce between your new gig and working at a local restaurant to pay the bills, where your hot coworker-now-boss Seokjin plays many of the lead roles in your sexual fantasies.

Seokjin, two years post losing his fiancé and job within the same day, is tired of the rut he's dug himself into and wants to start over. Now 30 years old, he's stuck managing his family's restaurant where he harbors an insanely inappropriate crush on you on top of carrying one hell of a secret: Seokjin is also known as Jin, a successful gay-for-pay camboy on the streaming site Worldwide Handsome.

When the stress of the upcoming semester and the pressure to stream becomes more than you can handle, you seek out some much-needed stress relief online, only to discover a man who looks a little too much like your boss is staring right back at you.

Warnings for Chapter One: Swearing, cheating (not between main characters), big age gap between lesser characters that can be uncomfy, sex work, gay sex work when the worker is actually not gay (but everyone is chill about it), feelings of shame and guilt, feelings of failure/depression, the existential crisis of your late-20s/30s that we all seem to go through, off-handed references to kpop culture including fanfics because I'm a clown and need to call us out sometimes, silly literary tropes, references to pregnancy, boss-employee power dynamics, allusions to queer BTS members or relationships, cameos of au Seventeen Members (Wonwoo and y/n are besties). NSFW sex stuff: big dick Seokjin (of course), f/m masturbation, dirty talk, sex toys, kink exploration, uh a lot cum (sorry), I mention the omegaverse as a joke, a sparkly pink dildo, seokjin has a massive collection of toys and he intends to use them, seokjin and reader are constantly horny, reader is kind of inexperienced, implied exhibitionism, implied voyeurism, implied public sex.

a/n: hello! i haven't written fanfic in years! I've been wanting to get back into it for a long time but I also work full time and am working on a poetry manuscript so this never manifested! This fic is inspired by a combination of fics from the lovely writing community on here, with a lot of inspiration coming from "tip 143 (for ∞ seconds of love)" by minilouvre on ao3. I feel like the camboy/person trope is so fun to explore and I wanted to try my own take on it with our Seokjin, who doesn't seem to get as many fics written about him but absolutely deserves it. I also wanted to create space for a fic that explores the weird transition of late 20s-30s that both BTS and I (and maybe many of you) have experienced in the last few years. I hope you enjoy!

xo - h

The alarm on your phone chimes, pulling you from the book in your lap. You’d been reading all afternoon, the sun now taking its final bow before plunging the world into darkness. Soon you’ll have to turn the lights on, then it will be time for work. On your only day off. 

You groan, stretching your neck as you allow yourself to come back to reality. 

To some, it would be hard to call your job “work”. Many people dream of being professional game streamers. Who wouldn’t want to be paid to sit online, play games, and talk to people? 

You don’t. That’s the problem. 

Your ascent into gaming stardom was a fluke. About 9 months ago, you were in between semesters for your grad program and looking for ways to unwind. Your oldest friend, Wonwoo, was a pretty successful streamer who often hosted game nights to play with his viewers and friends. 

You frequently watched his streams, letting his soft voice be the perfect background noise as you studied and formulated the next lesson plan or behavioral assessment. You’d known Wonwoo for what felt like forever at this point, being his first subscriber, first moderator, and first kiss (not in that order). But your middle school kiss outside of the convenience store never led to anything more than that, as desperately as you’d wanted it to. 

Once he moved across the country, you let your crush die with the distance. The years turned faster and your twenties were spinning by with the revolving door of lovers you’d watch him pine over, cry over, and in one case, almost marry. Streaming then became one of your main forms of connection, and your role as his moderator tied some part of you to him out of loyalty. To imagine him as anything other than a friend now feels ridiculous. 

But that loyalty you have is also to a fault. When Wonwoo’s usual streaming friends bailed one night during a tournament, you subbed in…for a game you didn’t even know how to play. 

And to make matters worse, this was a game that required talking to each other on-stream, which meant you not only sucked major ass at this game, but Wonwoo’s 700 viewers that day were also subjected to your constant frustrated squeaks, swears, and embarrassed maws as you tried to key-smash your way to victory but ended up throwing the entire team’s game with your incompetence. 

Wonwoo wasn’t mad, though many others were. He knew what he was getting into when he agreed, and his streams operated with very few rules: no hate, no spam, and we are in this to have fun. And he did have fun. By the time the first round was over, he and most of the chat were losing it over your commentary. 

As he wiped tears from eyes and took in a breath, he read his comments. “‘Damn, I never heard a chick threaten someone with a plunger like that before’. Yeah, I’ll give it to you, Y/N, you got really creative with your insults in that. Hey, PartyShitty thanks for the sub! ‘I can’t BREATHE’, yeah I’m still trying to get it together. W00000000000000000ziiiiii–damn that’s a lot of zeros in that username–thanks for the 5000 points! ‘Is she hot’ uh, I mean, I don’t— 

“Oh shit, LetsGetIt15, thank you for gifting twenty subs! ‘Please, Y/N, start your own channel. I’ll be the first subscriber.’ Actually, no, I’ll be. But really, that's not a bad idea.”

Wonwoo navigated the rest of his stream with ease that night, but after it was over, he called you to try to convince you to start your own channel. 

“It could help with school at least! Or you could get that special edition of that one book you like with the dragons or the blue alien porn stars or whatever it is.”

“They’re neither of those things, they’re actually–”

“Whatever they are! The book that has people fucking nonstop and some plot. You know, the special edition cover that you keep talking about in your close friend story that you won’t buy?” Wonwoo said. “The point is, if you start streaming you could finally buy it and then stop talking about it and I won’t need to see sections about how hot you think their alien or fairytale or demon whatever cocks are.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his exasperation. “That won’t stop with me getting that book, just so you know. And if it bothers you so much, I can take you out of the close friend story. I didn’t even know you looked at my stories that much.” You didn’t know he still used Instagram at all actually. He very rarely posted. He mostly lived on his Discord channel talking about games with his subscribers or other friends.

Regardless, it was nice to know that he was trying to be aware of your interests, even if it was incredibly embarrassing. Although the copious amount of smut you read wasn’t something you always wanted to broadcast to the public, you’d still made some friends from online book communities over the last few years and enjoyed keeping them in the loop of your reading list.

Also, Wonwoo had a point. Streaming could help paying some of your school expenses…or get you more books. You told him you’d think about it, and while you weren’t completely in love with the idea of streaming, it did provide you with some steady income until you landed your job at the restaurant.  

After that conversation, you haven’t discussed smut or cocks since, and you’re honestly relieved, not because Wonwoo is hard to talk to about things, but because you are. Which is why streaming always feels a little uncomfortable and your position ironic, because you can barely have conversations successfully unless you really know the person to ramble about your interests to, or you can occasionally eke by with small talk. 

But streaming requires the spotlight being on you in some way at all times. It’s your face that is fixed to the corner of the screen, monitoring your every reaction. It’s your voice that echoes into the mic and responds to your chat. Sure, you have mods and some streamers don’t interact with their chat at all, but you don’t want to be like that. You’ve been on the other side before, and know that most people are just lonely and looking for connection. . 

From the moment you decided to do this, you were aware that because you were now a “gamer girl” you would be subjected to the three extremes of the comment section: chronic oversharers who tell strangers all their personal baggage perhaps in the hope that you will assume some role of therapist to them, people coming to insult your gaming (which is the point so that can’t impact you) or physical appearance, or sexually explicit comments. 

Over the months, you’ve seen many things flitting by on the screen, deleted in haste by your trusty mod squad, but it doesn’t stop the fact that you still see them. 

Those things you can handle. They are impersonal and a direct copy-paste of the same thing.

But when people compliment you? That makes you want to bury yourself under your covers and never come out. Because the compliments are always personal and touching a part of you that is authentic.

The people in your chat want to know you. They want to know what kind of music you like, your favorite foods and books. They ask if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner, compliment your hair or the shirt you’re wearing or your gaming setup. It feels intimate. Almost like you could find these people and touch them and let them know you. 

But they can’t. Because the only thing that drew them to you, the part where you’re this funny, positive gamer chick who sucks at video games but is down for whatever, isn’t real. 

Spring Day Streams Y/N is a persona. You don’t stream because you’re her. You stream because you have to be her in order to survive.  

And now she’s taking up more time. Last month’s streams landed you Streamer of the Month, which thanks to the exposure, brought dozens of new subscribers and thousands of points, and that helped take care of some of your expenses for the new semester. Some. You’re still behind on your credit card bill. 

Also, more people means more expectations for streaming. So you’ve kicked up your streaming schedule from twice weekly to three times a week, with you occasionally hopping onto Wonwoo’s channel even if you aren’t streaming to mod. 

When you aren’t glued to your computer, you’re usually at the restaurant, in a cramped kitchen where you do the prep work, often alongside him, your sexy coworker-but-now-boss, Seokjin. 

The man you are quietly obsessed with. You can’t think about Kim Seokjin without thinking about all the positions you want him to fuck you in. 

Which is also why you’ve been devouring books lately. When you’re home, you throw all your energy into the escapism they provide, especially ones where you can get yourself off to whatever fantasy Seokjin effortlessly slips into. 

For every hot mob boss, corrupt CEO, longterm best friend, dragon-rider, fairy, demon, alien, ghost, or hockey playing love interest you can find, Seokjin is sure to fill the role. A hot merman looking for someone to help him grow legs and something else? Seokjin. A Grinch who inherits his family’s Christmas tree farm and discovers how much he loves to ho ho ho? Seokjin. A god who tears apart the underworld to find his lost lover, and then during the reunion fucks her on the throne of Satan while she wears the crown? All Seokjin. 

Unfortunately, his transition from co worker to boss has made your fantasies all the more dirty. 

It’s been incredibly difficult for you to handle the fact that any flirtation you two previously shared in the months before he was your boss can no longer continue. But it’s also incredibly hot.

Fantasies of him eating you out on the counter have been replaced with the fantasy of him shoving you in the back office and fucking you on the desk while wearing one of those perfect-fitting dress shirts he often parades around in. 

And when he rolls up the sleeves to help in the kitchen? Fuck, it’s humiliating how wet you get.

The entire thing is pathetic really. He’s just standing there half the time, lecturing everyone on proper kitchen hygiene and ensuring one of the cooks doesn’t use expired seasonings for his eomma’s secret sauce. 

And you’re standing next to him clenching your thighs together because when you’re this close, you can just make out the freshness of his cologne and feel the heat of his body close to yours. 

When someone fucks up, he has a tendency to take over, chopping with unmatched precision and self assurance, trying to keep his voice even and usually failing as everything builds in intensity until he’s accidentally speaking at a million miles an hour and lecturing until his face turns red. 

If someone were to pass by the shop, they’d probably mistake his shouting for anger, but you’ve come to understand Seokjin is just passionate about things. Usually when he comes down from his tangent, he’s embarrassed and apologizes, and not long after the entire staff is laughing along with him as he cracks a joke at himself for his inability to tone it down.

Which to you makes him even hotter. Seokjin is able to see his faults and work with them, not against them. He holds himself accountable. He’s nothing like the haughty men you’ve gone on brief dinners with after downloading dating apps for the hundredth time while you’re drunk. He’s actually funny, knowing the right way to use humor and tell jokes, never at someone else’s expense, and definitely without being disgustingly crude. 

All those clowns you suffered through drinks with always made comments and digs at other women or referenced their cock like they were setting up some goofy scene from porn and you would find it hilarious and endearing. 

Seokjin isn’t like that at all. He probably refers to his dick as a penis and would blush to high heavens if he knew how horny you are for him. He’s unwound you, and he has no clue. Maybe if it hadn’t been literal years since you’ve last had sex you could tone it down. 

With working all the time and going to school, it’s already been hard to even go on singular dates here and there. And since the prospects were frankly awful, sex is just something that has had to go onto the back burner for a bit, but you seemed to scorch the fucking pan by forgetting to turn the heat off and now you are burning and hungry. 

With a final sigh, you put the book down, annoyed that you didn’t have time to finish it today or at least get to a good part where you could insert yourself into the role of the palace servant and Seokjin as the Prince. Based on the reviews, there’s sure to be a hot sex scene coming up involving using a sword in a particular way that has piqued your curiosity. 

In a moment of depravity earlier, you’d snaked one hand down the front of your panties to rub a few damp fingers around your clit to take the edge off. 

You check the time on your phone, already aware that you don’t have time to cum before streaming. You already hit the snooze button twice. The spicy stuff will have to wait. 

Defeated, you stand up, turning on the lights in your apartment as the sun finally fades away and the dark creeps in. You eat a bowl of cereal while doing your makeup, what little of it you want to put on. Finally, you fire up your PC, trying to ignore the irritation you’re already experiencing from being so high strung and unsatisfied.

The second this stream is over, you’re going to make sure you cum until you pass out. Until then, it’s time for work.

©2024 by jooniperbonsai

#seokjin smut #bts smut #jin smut #kim seokjin #seokjin x reader #bangtan #bts seokjin

[moviemunchies]

WHAT

There is absolutely NO REASON that a sequel to a movie from over a decade ago, which itself was a spin-off of the Shrek movies, should be THIS GOOD, and yet…???

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish goes like this: Puss in Boots, the outlaw hero, is happy to celebrate his skillz and invincibility after once again winning. However, he gets killed in the ensuing revelry. Not a problem! He’s a cat, after all, and he’s got nine lives. Except it turns out that right now he’s on his last life after blowing through his previous eight, and after a close brush with a seemingly invincible enemy, he decides to lay low and give up the life of an adventurer. Until he hears about a quest for the Wishing Star, which will grant a wish to whoever claims it. Puss plans to use the Star to get his lives back. But he’s far from the only one who is after the Wishing Star: along with his old flame Kitty Softpaws, Big Jack Horner, and Goldilocks and the Three Bears are after it for their own reasons.

Also, he’s joined by a therapy dog.

Like many others, I had absolutely no intention of seeing this film when the trailer was released online. I have seen only the first Shrek all the way through (though I have seen lots of the second and third one on TV), and never seen the first Puss in Boots. Dreamworks also hasn’t been at the top of its game in the past few years. Look, How to Train Your Dragon 3 wasn’t *bad* but it was also lacking in that spark, in part because the whole ‘The thing you liked about this series has to go away now’ was a running theme in animated movies for a couple of years and it was old. I didn’t bother with The Boss Baby. I hadn’t seen The Bad Guys but it didn’t particularly interest me, though it seemed like it did fine enough. I saw this one getting good reviews and was confused, but moved on. It wasn’t until I kept seeing rave reviews, and people I knew telling me it was fantastic, that I said, “Okay, let me look into this.”

What. The actual fudge.

This is one of the best things I’ve seen from Dreamworks. This movie is an absolute triumph. This is, in fact, astonishing in its storybook imagery animation, its thrilling action sequences, its complex character development, and dark themes. It’s amazing.

The Shrek spin-off did a story about a hero coming to terms with his own mortality.

[throws up hands in confused but impressed gestures]

HOW???

Aiding this movie is its amazing animation. In the days when Disney has sort of settled on an animation style in their CGI films, and yet is still dominating the market, it’s really cool to see a movie that is playing with how animation. The style of this movie is meant to look much more like the art you’d find in a storybook. It reminds me (and I’m far from the only one to remark this) of Into the Spider-Verse in that it’s trying to copy a specific type of artwork, and there are interesting little tidbits that are really cool if you pay close attention. Puss’s sword has a little impact mark when it hits against other blades, for instance. It feels as if someone has taken colorful pieces of concept art and brought them to life, and given how much I love concept art, I very much enjoyed this animation style.

Building on that animation point: the action scenes in this film are top-notch? The final duel between Puss and the Wolf is one of the best sword fight scenes I’ve seen in years, especially out of a new movie. Many movies don’t seem to know or care how to do a great, fast-paced sword fight, and it’s rare to see it in an animated movie either. This movie somehow managed it. In fact just about ALL the fight scenes are fantastic to watch, with the sheer amount of energy they have in them.

The performances in the film are pretty great? Antonio Banderas is playing a cartoon cat, and yet he still manages to imbue him with a lot of character? Not only is Puss in Boots an arrogant braggart at the beginning of the story, but he’s forcibly humbled, and he goes through the wringer, and Banderas’s performance reflects that pretty well. When Puss is having panic attacks at the sound of the Wolf’s creepy whistle, it’s surprisingly effective how much you feel his terror.

I also don’t think that a couple of the other performers sounded like themselves? That sounds like a dumb thing to say, but with celebrity voice actors, they’re sometimes directed to just talk into the microphone without doing anything with their voices. But I didn’t find that Kitty Softpaws sounded too much like normal Salma Hayek or that Goldilocks sounded much like Florence Pugh. Then again, I’m not overly familiar with their voices so maybe I’m wrong on that count.

That being said, I ‘ve see quite a lot of people claiming that John Mulaney’s turn as the villain Big Jack Horner was especially amazing, and while he does well, and he makes an entertaining villain, I didn’t find his work to be something particularly incredible. I wasn’t blown out of the water by his performance, is all I’m saying.

Also this movie’s hilarious. I haven’t emphasized that enough, but it is a really funny movie. Some of the humor in the film was surprisingly dark? I know that animated films sometimes can have dark humor, but there’s a lot of it here, and most of it lands. The humor fits the tone of the movie, I suppose, but it threw me off how many of the gags in the film involved things like murder and casual violence.

I fully expected Dreamworks to crank out a cookie-cutter sequel, and I should have known better. When Dreamworks is trying, really trying, they knock it out of the park. They probably knew they had to if they wanted to release a sequel to a movie from over a decade ago and make it land with audiences. It would probably have been better had I seen the previous Shrek and Puss in Boots movies, but it’s not strictly necessary, as this entry has enough explanation of past events that you won’t need it.

#Movie Munchies #Puss in Boots #Dreamworks #reviews #Shrek #Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

[everygame]

Dragon Quest XI: Echoes Of An Elusive Age (Definitive Edition)

Developed/Published by: Square Enix Released: 27/09/2019 Completed: 14/02/2024 Completion: Finished the main story then defeated the true final boss in the post-game.

Well, where to start with Dragon Quest XI? I actually “finished” this before I even played through Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey (and not long before–I can’t believe I did two lengthy Japanese RPGs in such quick succession) but the thing about Dragon Quest XI is is that it makes it immediately clear when you finish it that it’s not really the ending and you have to do the post-game to truly finish it. So I thought “oh, well, I’ll put it down for a while and play some other stuff and come back to it.”

That (obviously) meant I put it down for a year and after Strange Journey every time I thought about picking up another RPG I’d think “oh, but I haven’t really finished Dragon Quest XI…”

So with Persona 3 Reload and that out now I thought I better rip the band-aid off.

The band-aid could probably have stayed on?

Here’s the thing about Dragon Quest XI: It’s fine! It’s fine. It’s just… I never found it that interesting. I remember loving Dragon Quest IX, but here I could just feel the structure immediately and nothing exciting enough happens narratively that I became engaged. It’s the classic story: you’re the chosen one (snooze). You’ve got to collect X things from different parts of the world to defeat the big baddie (snooze). Every location you visit has a wee story chain/quest that involves you visiting the local dungeon, killing the local problem, and fixing the local situation.

It’s all… fine. The game is a bit too forgiving in that it’s super easy to avoid enemies so I think they accidentally broke the pacing, and in turn the character development is so expansive and complex that it’s just too much, with every character ending up with this huge list of spells and abilities that you end up using about 3 of (this is especially annoying when you come back for the post-game and discover you need to re-equip and respec your entire team because you’ve gone back in time and blah blah this blah blah that.)

Even if I loved the narrative and the play (and listen: I do like myself a turn-based battle from time to time, and I imagine the end-of-act 1 twist worked for some) Dragon Quest XI does the same thing I get annoyed at, say, Monster Hunter for: they keep just enough legacy interface to make doing things annoying.

There’s absolutely no reason that there’s both a menu on start that includes some things you use all the time (like your forge, or your mounts) but also a menu on a totally different button that has a bunch of stuff you use all the time as well (including quitting to the main menu, which is nested under “misc.”). And then you have things like an “Items” option and an “Equipment” option, and you can only easily see the equipment in your equipment bag from the… Items option. And character still have to be equipped with items before battles, which takes forever and every item is held individually (they do at least let you instantly put all non-essential items back in the item bag rather than have to remove them one at a time, but it’s still an almighty ball-ache.)

The game is full of these little niggles; things that are probably second nature to people who have been with the series since the beginning, but decidedly unenjoyable for those of us who aren’t. It could all just be a little more streamlined.

The thing is though is that it’s pretty obvious that Dragon Quest is a “if you like this sort of thing, you’ll like this sort of thing”, er, thing, and I think if you are someone who likes levelling up pre-existing characters, or like avoiding enemies and trying to farm metal slimes, doesn’t mind the interface or just are cool with yet another chosen one plot because you get to do those things, then Dragon Quest IX is pretty great! It looks good, there’s always forward momentum, and Eric from Two Doors Down voices your grandpa. Can’t really say fairer than that.

Will I ever play it again? No.

Final Thought: I should recount, however, something very funny. The post-game of Dragon Quest XI takes the plot in a weird, time-travelly direction that doesn’t make a ton of sense without you putting in a lot of work (“er, timelines can only exist if there’s a luminary… so the first timeline is absorbed into the second, but the third one is actually a loop…”) but offers a sort of open-world, “second quest” experience where you can go anywhere and fight all the bosses again but they’re much harder.

However you really only have to fight three, two who you fight basically immediately and then a third you can put off for as long as you like, meaning that the most efficient way to do the post-game (if you just want to see the credits) is to just farm metal slimes for a while and then beat the boss…

(Which actually raises another thing about Dragon Quest XI that annoyed me. You go back in time and because the protagonist is by tradition silent, he doesn’t explain anything to anyone. Meaning that there’s an entire sequence where he knows someone is a baddie, but just hangs out with them and relies on a different baddie stopping that baddie? I mean he just goes to sleep leaving the important mcguffin that destroyed the world in the previous timeline out??? And don’t get me started on the ultimate bad guy appearing and then just… hanging out in the sky doing nothing. Like what, was he ever going to do anything? What was he waiting for???)

…Wait, let me get to the funny thing. So I spent quite a while playing the post-game because misunderstood something I’d read. I believe that you needed the “Supreme Sword of Light” to make fighting the final boss not impossible, which is a weapon with a fairly complicated, specific plot-chain to unlock. Once I’d got it, I got into the final battle and it didn’t work.

Turns out you actually need the “Super Sword of Light” which you already have in your inventory to begin with.

I guess that’s what I get for skimming FAQs as soon as I get stuck…

Hi. If you’ve been following this tumblr, you will be familar that I usually try and drive to towards my ko-fi after every article. However, I would instead like to ask you for a favour–could you check out the fundraiser my best friend Steven is running to help cover travel insurance costs? I know there are so many deserving causes, but Steven has a stage 4 brain tumour and it would mean the world to me if you considered donating, or sharing his page, to help make his remaining time the best ever.

#gaming #video games #games #txt #text #review #nintendo #nintendo switch #dragon quest #dragon quest xi #dragon quest xi: echoes of an elusive age #square enix #2019

[todayimgonnaplay]

Today, I'm gonna play: DmC: Devil May Cry (the reboot)

I remember the time when this was announced, everybody including myself hated the reboot's look and feel of it. To this day it's still hushed, shoved deep into the abyss so that everyone can forget it ever happened. I did play the demo about a year or two after it released and remember somewhat enjoying it, but not interested in getting the game at all. This time, I decided to take a leap of faith and see how it's aged.

My ''first'' DMC was DMC 4, which I watched my cousin play. I remember thinking how cool Nero's demon arm was and his overall design; Dante was very much unknown to me at the time. Years later I found a PS2 copy of the first game . Not realizing the series wasn't as easy as expected, I gave up after the first few missions. I did try 2 later, and then eventually 4 special edition to play for myself. 4 has been my favourite so far for having more accessible gameplay, and also i'm biased towards Nero lol. It's also the first DMC I have completed

Coming into the game I had extremely low expectations and imagined it'd be an absolutely absurd game filled with vulgarity and excess violence for the sake of it, but having just finished the game, I feel like this title is...overhated? Maybe it actually is super vulgar and excessive (especially when comparing with the original series) and that my expectations just so happened to help me see the game in a better light. I remember the trailers having Donte (I will refer to his meme name for the sake of comparison to the original Dante) act obnoxious as hell, but in the game he's...calm???? and caring??? Really surprising aspects that made me like the game.

In terms of story, I personally don't think of Devil May Cry in general for storytelling. They seem to exist for the sake of thematics for levels and gameplay, and that's what I see here too. You have a hero that's presented as initially flawed (with the whole drinking and sex in the intro), gets a motive to be the chosen one to go on a quest to fight evil, has a guide and learns a few things along the way (demon and human relations with the world), and beats evil. An almost classic hero's journey type. Some of its most emotional moments were a bit lacking, and he does flip people off or come up with edgy comebacks, but I could see Donte as a regular guy at least. Is he better than the original Dante? No. But he is good as his own character. I also liked the first half of the game regarding Vergil compared to the depictions I've seen of him in random cutscenes I watched online. It was a nice change of pace, even if predictable. Kat, a new character was also decent in her role. But none of the characters remotely created much interest, except for Donte because I was focused on whether he'd be too much or not. In terms of villains, one particular boss who is a news anchor striked me as interesting for trying to put Donte in a bad light, and his role is quite unique too, unlike what I've seen in other games.

The gameplay is one of the most fun aspects in this title. You have the classic switching weapons that Dante has, but I found it slightly more and yet less accessible than Dante in the main games. There are designated button inputs for Angel and Demon weapons, and you need to press the attack buttons along with it in order to use it. Switching is done with the D-pad, which felt awkward at times. But regardless, fast and flashy combat in this title has been the best I've experienced in this series by far. I had a huge issue with platforming in 4, often feeling very clunky but DmC does a much better job at it, with two grappling weapons that allow you to swing, or pull obstacles as platforms. But it's not perfect, as there was one mission that was quite clunky and had me falling multiple times. Another issue I noticed is the how the game hints at special items scattered in the level by using a beeping noise, akin to Mirror's Edge. The latter does a good job at it by using 3D audio and varying volumes, but it felt difficult with this game where the volume felt loud enough to think I was near something, but it was never near enough. Nor could I tell from which direction it was coming from. In fact, I could only recognize this beep's purpose because of my experience with Mirror's Edge, as the game does not tell you what it signifies. Adding a text box would have helped, which the game already does a good job in conveying tutorial information with the use of triggers in the levels.

Another great aspect of the game is its art direction. Limbo feels so alive and dynamic, with bold text popping off and adding to the atmosphere, it screams ''cool''. There's also a nice variety of colours rather than having them be muddy and grey for settings like this, which I've seen in other games. I couldn't get into gothic settings before, but now I'm very intrigued! In addition to that, the level design is quite straightforward and structured in a way that I felt less confused compared to DMC 4 having multiple paths and constantly getting lost. Soundtrack it's very fun, I think DMC as a whole does not miss on that. It's got the usual rock and metal vibe that always hypes up battle. I will be checking the OST too. Sound effects are also doing a great job, with the battle end result being my favourite. It has this little scream that plays as if Donte is in a fit of rage. In addition to that effect the screen also has these close ups of him as he gets ready for the next round, reminding me of what Hi-Fi Rush has done (even if that's a newer game). Little bits like that create nice transitions as the player continues on. Apart from playing, I do wish this game had a different title. I get it's a reboot, but it does make it hard to distinguish sometimes.

I'm sure this is a very unpopular opinion so take it with a grain of salt, as with everything I write here anyway. Having finished the game, a part of me wishes that there's a sequel, or that Donte at least retconned and made into his own character as something other than being a reboot Dante. That could probably relieve him a bit of his reputation. I think in order to enjoy this game to its fullest, is to not think of him as Dante at all, or even DMC if we go that far, but rather it's own thing or an alternative universe. And to also keep your expectations low!

Terms exclusive to the game: Limbo - An alternate yet alive world of the game's setting where demon enemies run amok

#dmc #devil may cry #devil may cry reboot #game analysis #capcom #ninja theory #dmc devil may cry

[judgeanon]

Plastic Skies - Model 11: F-22 Raptor “Mobius-1″

As soon as I had a couple of finished models under my belt, I knew what I wanted my “Final Boss” to be. There was one plane that I really wanted to not just build, but build right; to do the absolute best job I could with it. It took me a while to get there, and there were a few bumps and stops along the road, but in the end I managed to not only build it, but also close the circle of what had inspired me to start modelling again.

It was time to become an Ace. Or at least try.

So, the F-22 Raptor. I love that thing.

Everything about it is just cool as fuck to me. Its shape, silhouette, hidden weapon bays, everything. It's just square and sharp enough to look futuristic while still having enough curves to still look like a fighter jet and not some jank spaceship.

The other reason why I love the Raptor is Novalogic’s old F-22 RAPTOR flight sim from 1997. At the time, and for a long time, it was the best flight game I’d ever played, looking and feeling lightyears ahead of any other flight game at the time. Even if the Raptor has famously never been in any actual combat or downed any enemy planes (which as far as I’m concerned is the best thing that can happen to any weapon), it’s sure seen a lot of virtual warfare. Especially in another series...

The thing about Ace Combat is that I’d never really played them until a bit under a year ago. As I mentioned when I started this series, I knew they existed and I’d had a few close brushes with them, but I’d never sat down and played any until Ace Combat 7, which promptly blew my mind. Soon, through the power of emulators, I made my way through every single game in the series. And one of the things I noticed was that every Ace Combat is actually two games in one: there’s the game before you unlock the F-22 Raptor and the game after.

In pretty much every Ace Combat, the Raptor is a late-game unlock, and always one of the best. It’s faster, moves better, and just using it feels like dropping the difficulty level down at least one. On top of that, it’s been featured in the covers of a lot of them, including the very first home release:

So playing through the series really reignited my love for the damn thing, to say the least. And when I entered the hobby shop for the first time and spotted that Revell kit up there, I knew I was going to end up building one sooner or later. But I held off for months, building other models, learning every technique I cared ot try and accumulating an arsenal of tools. Along the way, I also ran into something wonderful: an eBay listing for a decal sheet full of emblems from Ace Combat, including everything I could need to build not just any Raptor, but THE Raptor. Mobius-1′s Raptor from Ace Combat 04.

As it turned out, there had been an official AC04 Raptor model kit released some years ago, and while getting my hands on one was out of the question, the instructions were easy to find online. Turns out the model used the exact same mold as the Revell one, and the instructions included a color guide that helped me find the exact shades of gray used on the official thing. You’ve actually seen that gray paint in my F-16 and Fairey Swordfish models. It’s not the easiest paint to work with, but I was happy to have it and the decals. Between them, I had everything I really needed... except the model itself.

Unfortunately, 2023 didn’t have the best of starts for me, especially when it came to money. Long story short, my job started paying me late. Like, very late. Insultingly late. “Three months late” late. Although my family generously loaned me enough cash to make it through, it was a very upsetting era of getting paid, spending a third of it paying last month’s debts, then having to stretch what was left for two months until I got paid again and the cycle started again. It’s why I’m deeply indebted not just to my family, but also to the friend who sent me those old WWII models I posted about last time, since the frustration of having all these tools and nothing to use them on was really getting to me.

Eventually, in early March, I finally got paid and after clearing up a bunch of leftover debts, I said “Fuck it”. Whatever else was going on in my life, I decided I needed something to do other than worrying about money. The price of the kit had gone up since the last time I’d seen it, which was frustrating but also made the decision to buy it even easier. Get it now, before inflation made it any harder to grab. Unlike every other plane I’d built so far, I told nothing about it to my family. A part of me felt terribly guilty about it. Where did I get off, buying toy planes when less than two weeks ago I was asking my brother for grocery money? It was childish, irresponsible, and at the time, utterly necessary. I was increasingly feeling like I would go insane if I waited one more day.

Unfortunately, I’d still end up waiting one more week to really get started, since just as the kit arrived, my mom invited my brother and I to a short vacation trip. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to finish the kit, but by then I was so upset by the whole thing that I nonetheless spent an afternoon focused purely on the tailfins. Stupid as it sounds, I just... really needed it.

The trip was fine. Good times were had, new places were explored, mountains were hiked, and I can’t say I hated it or anything. But the closer we got to the end, the more I remembered those two tailfins drying out alone and the other 114 parts I hadn’t touched yet. It was late at night when I finally got back home, and that night I set everything up to get started first thing in the morning.

Unfortunately, that morning I woke up to a pretty troubling phone call. My dad had some health issues, and ten minutes later I was hailing a cab to go ride an ambulance with him to the hospital. I left home at around 9 AM that day, and only got back at 7:30 PM. He’s safe now and made a full, if lengthy recovery, but the days and weeks of having to be ready to drop everything and rush to the hospital to check on him quickly became grating. As with the trip, I found myself living for someone else, putting everything else I wanted to do on hold for the sake of others.

It didn’t last long. Once I was sure dad was out of danger and comfortable in the hospital, and once the rest of the family had started mobilizing to help, I once again said “Fuck it” and finally dove right into the Raptor, making it my personal anchor, a little thing I was making just for myself and nobody else.

The build started alright, but quickly ran into some trouble. A few of the parts were a hard fit, and the fuselage had gotten bent and warped a little in the box. Plus, I figured painting some of it would be a pain once the whole thing had been built, so I started painting some pieces as I went along. Which was absolutely the right choice, but it meant a fair bit of stop and go.

Something I did decide early on was to go “wheels up” with this one, not doing the landing gears. I figured an Ace Combat plane would be best displayed in flight, all weapons at the ready. I’m glad I made that call, because the build was already giving me enough headaches without the wheels.

Those little edges across the plane’s contour were particularly troublesome, since they required a lot of masking tape to work. I’m not terribly good at masking yet, and if you compare the two sides of the plane, you can tell. Still, it really was nice to see everything finally taking shape.

I also skimped on the armaments a little. The kit came with tons of decals for all the missiles, but I have a lot of trouble with the little stripe ones that usually go on them, and doing it for eight different missiles was daunting to say the least. I knew that alone was going to be a whole day’s worth of work. So I decided to save myself the trouble and just leave them like that.

The camo pattern, by comparison, was surprisingly easy to pull off. Using the paint guide from the official model, a couple of fine brushes and some very good gray paint, I did a much better job of it than the poor F-16.

The decals were a similar story. Funny enough, they actually came from three different sheets: the Raptor’s own, the Ace Combat one I’d bought off eBay, and that white marking in the center, which points to the Raptor’s fuel tank. Real Raptors use a different marking nowadays, but the one from Ace Combat 04 used this older model, which I got from the F-16′s sheet. In fact, that decal sheet was one of the reasons why I’d bought that specific F-16. By then I’d already decided to build Mobius-1, and I knew I’d be able to use that decal to give it that final touch.

Speaking of final touches, the panel lining also went shockingly well. This is one of the things I’ve gotten way better at, no longer having to rely on the sludge technique or anything. It’s still tricky and time consuming, but I can’t deny how much it improves a model, even when done sloppily. I also went and bought a box of transparent orange paint just for the cockpit, which in hindsight is... a little nuts. I have no idea what else I could possibly use that paint for, but I didn’t want this to be just another kit.

I left the weapon bays for last. Truth be told, I was a little terrified of them. Lots of small parts, two of which actually broke during the build and had to be tossed out. The end result is by no means perfect, and one of the side missiles is completely wrong, but by now I’ve learned to accept the small imperfections and let go of the things I can’t really fix (or am too scared to try). All poetry and self-improvement aside, I was squarely in that “let me just finish this” moment.

(It’s a good thing that I got the weapon bays done well too, because without a landing gear and a stand base, the plane currently rests on the bay doors. I should probably do something about that soon...)

Through the whole process, I still felt a few pangs of guilt over building this while dad was in the hospital. He wasn’t at risk or anything and I still made time to go see him, but there was enough shame to it that I didn’t really show the finished plane to any family member until about a week ago. And even then, I didn’t tell them when exactly I built it. As far as they know, I just willed it into existence in a couple days. It’s a terribly selfish thing to think, but after putting myself on hold for the sake of others in so many ways while also dealing with being routinely ignored by my work, having this one thing to make was important to me.

Eventually, the Raptor was finished. There’s a lot in it. Decals from three different sheets, paints and washes from about five different brands, a lot of material in general. There’s also a lot of me in it. Kid me, playing a 90s flight sim on an old Pentium and clumsily putting together cheap kits with cheaper glue, and adult me, falling hopelessly in love with a decades-old game series and comparing paint numbers to make sure I have the right shade of gray for the job. There’s some guilt and shame in it, but also pride and satisfaction. Even if I never built any other plane kits, I at least now had my Raptor. Not just a Raptor, or the Raptor, but my Raptor. With everything that entails.

(Also, you can’t understand how much I adore that the stabilizers are movable)

Things are getting better now. Dad’s way healthier and I’ve managed to more or less stabilize my finances, while also getting close to some new job offers. But for about a week, when everything else was a whirlwind of anxiety, this chunk of painted plastic was as good of an anchor as any. And I’m happy to say it’s not, in fact, the last kit I’ve made.

#My Stuff #Hobbies #Journals #This one gets a little personal too #Planes good #Ace Combat good #That's about all that really matters #Find some time for yourself

[teaandgames]

Top And Bottom of 2023

2023, we hardly knew ye. Everyone says the years go by fast but this one barely shook my hand before running off. Maybe it’s because I’m thirty now. Maybe as the decades pass, the years get faster. In which case, by the time I’m eighty I should be able to do a decade of games in one post. Now that’s efficiency.

Anyway, this list only contains games I’ve actually played, so you can blame time and money for the lack of games like Baldur’s Gate 3 on this list. Instead, it’s going to be a little bit of a strange list, so bear with me. I’ll be doing top and bottom five, just to get straight to the point really, and alternating them, to try and drum up some suspense.

That leads me to…

Fifth Bottom - Dead Island 2

From a purely functional standpoint, Dead Island 2 doesn’t really do anything wrong. Hitting the zombies is fun, strapping batteries to machetes is fun, walking along beaches is fun. But at the end of the day, functional is all it is. The fun I had with it is not unique to Dead Island 2 and is done better in pretty much every other big zombie release. Dead Island 2 is just a zombie game, with no other thought or creativity poured into it. Doomed to slide out of your brain the moment it’s done.

I’d say to play Dying Light 2 instead but, to be honest, I didn’t have time to play that one either.

Fifth Top - I’m On Observation Duty 6

This one is a bit of a cheat, as I’ve not actually played that much of number 6 itself. But I haven’t given the previous ones the props they deserve, so sod it, I’m doing it here. I’m on Observation Duty has a unique mechanic - a sort of horror spot-the-difference. You man security cameras, pointing out differences and looking out for intruders. It’s thoroughly unsettling, wonderfully engaging and yet so brutally simple.

It shows the value of a good idea that’s given a lot of room to breathe. You could probably make the case that 6 is little more than a rehash of the previous ones but I don’t care. Just give me more.

Fourth Bottom - Rogue Cards

I feel a little bad about this one, not least because the developer sent me a classy email after the review went up. Still, this was a year that was saturated in roguelikes. I’ve lost count of the amount of cards I’ve thrown at bad guys. It’s like if Vegas was taken over by goblins. Rogue Cards drew the short straw, unfortunately, by being a below average roguelike in a saturated year.

Its runs all feel a bit repetitive, it doesn’t look that great and the good ideas it has are dragged down by the rest of it. My fondest hope is that it becomes a learning experience and those lessons can be fed into another bloody genre.

Fourth Top - DREDGE

I only learned about DREDGE days before I reviewed it. I just liked the title. It turned out to be an absolutely wonderful game and one of the few titles this year that I played after I had finished reviewing it. It’s a lesson in how horror can build up at the pace of the player, as that first mutated fish you catch changes everything. There’s no going back after fishing a bloated, pus-filled mass out of your nets.

It also potentially shows that nearly anything can go together with a life simulator. Eldritch horror? Why not? I’ll be over here playing fish tetris when you need me.

Third Bottom - Nimbus INFINITY

Part of why I started reviewing games was to dip my toes into genres I’d never experienced before. You never know when you might find something new and exciting. Probably won’t be the Mecha genre though, going by Nimbus INFINITY, which was a lesson in crashes, awkward writing and awful voice acting. My only real memory from the game is the mispronunciation of ‘biplanes’, which really isn’t a good thing.

The combat did have its moments but really just boiled down to locking on and mashing the fire button. Final boss fight was a pain in the arse too.

Third Top - The Talos Principle 2

At one point in my life, I considered doing a philosophy degree. I’d quite enjoyed it in school. Decided against it though, which was a shame. It might have helped me appreciate what The Talos Principle 2 was banging on about. I joke - I did genuinely appreciate the philosophy in The Talos Principle 2. Its characters were deep and the central issue of growth vs. destruction gets more relevant by the day.

It also had some excellent laser puzzles, even if it can’t find many philosophical things to say about them.

Second Bottom - Assassin’s Creed Mirage

Might be a controversial one this, but Ubisoft has ten times the resources of others on this list and they still churned out something that’s fundamentally shallow. Frustrating, given the interesting setting. Basim is a suitable face for it, being as deep as a Disney prince, who spends his every second of screen time talking about how he wants a better future. Too busy for a personality, bless him. Then all the side-content followed suit by being as shallow as a teaspoon.

It was a brave return to the original formula and I applaud that. Assassin’s Creed desperately needs to get rid of its bloat. Still, this feels more like a chicken bone thrown to fans of the original rather than any real attempt to rekindle the fire.

Second Top - Blasphemous 2

A very valid criticism of Blasphemous 2 is that it’s little more than an extension of the original. My rebuttal is simple: I don’t care. If I had found a suitable replacement for Blasphemous in the meantime, it might have held water but I didn’t. Blasphemous’ world is idiosyncratic and I’ll take whatever I can get. It helps that Blasphemous 2 did a lot to make its gameplay a lot smoother and a lot less frustrating.

Granted, it did that by shaving down the ‘Vania’ part of Metroidvania. Maybe I’m just more of a Metroid Man?

The Bottom! - Anthology of Fear

Horror is one of my favourite genres - certainly my favourite film genre. So I’m always inclined to be a bit more critical towards it. That certainly didn’t do Anthology of Fear any favours but you don’t need to be a critic to see its flaws. Brutally short with barely any interaction on our part, it fails to either engage or scare. You’d get much the same experience by browsing the new releases on itch.io and at least they would be free.

Looked nice though.

The Top! - World of Horror

It’s rare to stumble across a game that could have been personally made for you. I’m a huge fan of Junji Ito-style body-horror and World of Horror serves that up in a unique style. It somehow preserves the unsettling, skin-crawling feeling that comes from reading body horror manga, which is no mean feat. I think it’s down to the stories contained within and the constant knowledge that death is never too far away.

It’s not everyone’s cup of tea and the graphics and general feel might turn some people off but I’ll be damned if it didn’t charm the hell out of me. Just as well, seeing as I’d been following it for about half a decade.

So that’s the year - even I wasn’t expecting to put a horror game as the first place on both lists but, hey, it’s been a scary year. Here’s to 2024. I hope you have fun with your 2024 games. I’ll be busy saving my pennies for all the 2023 releases I missed. If you come back next year, I might even be able to tell you how Like a Dragon: Gaiden is.

For fun, here's a quick list of others that didn't quite make it to my top list:

Like a Dragon: Ishin - was a lot of fun, but the updated faces ruined the plot a bit.

Dave the Diver - the best game that I keep forgetting about.

Riftbound - mistakenly got a code for it this year but released last year, so wasn't viable. Wonderful tower defence game. What Plants vs. Zombies 2 should have been.

Astrea: Six Sided Oracles - The best roguelite I played this (last?) year. Maybe because it didn't use cards.

TEVI - an adorable metroidvania with great movement, if flat combat

Hope 2024 brings good things!

#World of Horror #Anthology of Fear #Assassin's Creed Mirage #Dead Island 2 #The Talos Principle 2 #Rogue Cards #DREDGE #Blasphemous 2 #Nimbus INFINITY #I'm on Observation Duty 6 #Gaming #Video Games #2023 #Tea And Video Games