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piratefishmama · 10 months

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Fake it till you make it | Part 11

“Be careful, Eddie” were Wayne’s words as he hugged his nephew goodbye, knowing he wouldn’t see him for a whole week and honestly still being a little worried about it “if you think even for one minute that something’s off, just… just get out of there, alright?”

“I know, I know, I’ll bolt through the woods and hitchhike my way home, I know the way, Wayne, I got this.” He could read a compass, he’d be able to get a map from any gas station and head home, he was resourceful, an adult, he could handle himself.

“Damn right you got this, son. But… be careful in other ways too, alright? Steve’s a charmin boy, but… remember this ain’t real.” Eddie had bitten his bottom lip at that one, brows furrowed in thought, those big brown eyes of his swirling in emotion, he never did hide his feelings well, it’d always be a little real for him. “Protect this” Wayne poked his chest with a gentle prod, right over Eddie’s heart “okay?”

“Mhm, I will…” he’d try to anyway. Steve really was… charming. An his kisses? God his kisses… but also... it really was the closest he’d ever been to what romance ought to be, what a relationship ought to be, he never thought he’d have that.

The world didn’t appear to be moving fast enough for him to truly experience romance as most people did.

He had to remember that he didn’t have that.

“Eddie! C’mon you’re in the back with me!” Steve called from the garage door, behind which the car was rumbling, their bags packed into the back, Steve’s parents already inside, ready to go. The longest Eddie had ever been away from Wayne since arriving in Hawkins, was three days during a weekend trip to Indy with the band to play at a slightly bigger venue than the Hideout as a one off.

A favour for his favourite gay bar when a live act they’d scheduled pulled out last minute. It hadn’t gotten them a lot of exposure, but it’d been a fun and enlightening night for the band.

“Best get on, son, I’ll see you in a week. Call when you can alright? Don’t care if you wake me up or about no damn time zones, just call, I’ll answer, an if I don’t, you know the plant’s number.” Tight lipped, strained smile, Eddie nodded quickly then turned on his heel and graced Steve with a brilliant smile, game on.

“I don’t wish to alarm anyone, but... did we miss a turning?” Eddie may have been unusually quiet for the first leg of their journey, nerves having hit him like a truck the second they pulled out of Loch Nora, but he was paying attention to his surroundings.

And those surroundings, were all too quickly, Fort Wayne International Airport.

“You don’t honestly expect rich people to drive the whole way to Canada do you?” Steve’s voice was amused and came from so very close to his ear that he actually jumped, quickly turning in his seat, back plastered against his side of the back seat, eyes wide as he took in and processed what Steve said. “Plus, what would you rather do, spend nearly two days in a car with my parents—”

“We’d make wonderful road trip companions, don’t be rude Steven” came his mother’s interruption

Steve ignored it in favour of continuing his point “—orr… around ten hours in one of those with a brief stop off in Chicago.” Steve leaned inward, uncaring of personal space as he pointed to a plane, ascending into the heavens from the runway.

“I don’t—” he didn’t know. He’d never been on a plane before. Trips like that, across country, they were the stuff of road trip legend, but Steve had a point…

Two whole days of a trip stuck in a car. Or just ten hours. Eddie’s eyes skipped to the window again, to the plane now disappearing beyond the overcast cloud cover.

“It’ll be okay, Eds, I’ll sit right next to you the whole time, you’ll be okay.”

“What if we crash? What if it falls out of the sky? What’ll you do?”

“My best to keep you safe.” It was so earnest, coupled with Steve gently taking his hands and giving them a squeeze, eyes so full of raw honesty, of understanding, it hit Eddie directly in all his soft gooey bits. “I’ll hold your hand through the whole ten hours if you want.”

“Even during the stop in Chicago?”

“Hah, yeah baby, even during the stop in Chicago.”

“They’re a lot more openminded in Chicago too!” Lynda spoke up without turning her head, allowing Eddie to not get stuck on baby for too long “might get a few looks from people passing through the airport but nobody will say anything, and if they do, they deal with us.”

“If we had enough time during the stop we’d have taken a trip around the city, let you boys see some of the sights we’ve seen, but alas, our connection gives us an hour at most depending on everything being on time, and that’s just enough time to get us from one gate to the next.” John added as he pulled into the long stay parking lot. “Maybe some other time, some other family trip, eh Eddie?”

Eddie’s wide eyes turned to the front of the car, then back to Steve again, lips parted ever so slightly in surprise. Not surprise over the words used, but the feeling those words caused. Family trip. They were including him on future family trips.

Steve’s eyes quickly snapped from him to the front of the car and back again, then a warm smile blossomed on his lips. He lifted his hand and ever so carefully brushed a stray curl back behind Eddie’s ear, and asked so softly as his thumb lowered to brush along his jawline. “Right, Eddie?”

“Y-yeah… yeah I’d… I’d love that.” He turned his head fully toward the drivers seat, he’d never been too good at hiding his emotions, so maybe he was just a little choked up when he accepted the offer “I’d really love that.”

“Great!” The car came to a stop in one of the many parking bays, ignition off, driver side door opened “It’s settled then.” Settled. Eddie would privately mourn the knowledge that it’d never come to fruition, but… on the surface he could pretend he was excited for a future trip for the sake of the ruse. “Now boys if you could get the bigger bags out the trunk that’d be a big help! This back of mine isn’t as sturdy as it used to be.”

“You’re forty-six and go jogging almost every morning, don’t be stupid John.” Lynda whapped her husband with her handbag in gentle, semi-amused admonishment before getting out of the car.

Followed by her husband who, in a hushed tone replied with “don’t tell them that, Lynda, save us the work.” Leaving the two boys to breathe soft laughs between themselves before they too joined the older couple out in the parking lot.

“Steve...” Eddie hissed as they neared check-in.

“What?”

“I have weed” said through his teeth.

“What?” Steve paused.

“I have weed… I have weed in my suitcase.”

“You have what?!” Steve rounded on him, sentence ended with a pointed hiss

“I didn’t know we’d be flying to Canada, Steve, maybe you should tell people when you’re planning on launching them into the troposphere in a death tube!”

“Why would you bring weed on a holiday with my parents, Eddie?!”

“SHHHH, be quiet. I thought I might need it to chill out if I was freaking out at some point during the week like right now, I could really do with it right now.”

“Oh my god.”

“Steven? Is something wrong?” Lynda’s voice had them both snapping to attention, eyes wide, caught in the act. Luckily she had no idea what that ‘act’ was.

“Nope! No, uh, Eddie’s just gotta… use the bathroom real quick.”

“Well, there’s bathrooms in the business class lounge he can—"

“No! It’s uhm, it’s urgent, can’t wait, he’s uh…”

“Nerves, it’s uh, it’s nerves, I think imma hurl” she looked between them with a small frown on her face, assessing them both, it seemed like whatever she found wasn’t worth arguing about though, because she waved them off with a quick flick of her wrist.

“Alright fine, hurry up. Steven you know where the closest ones are go on now quickly before we’re late for check in, we’ll double check everything here.” John was already pausing to check through all their documents like a regular airport dad, it was the third time he’d done it since entering the airport.

“Alright let’s go, Eds, lets deal with your little problem.” At least he was soft-handed when he manhandled Eddie to the nearest bathroom, patchy suitcase with a squeaky wheel wobbling away behind them. Once inside, he checked each stall individually, before quickly turning on a wide eyed Eddie. “Where is it?” Eddie pointed down at the suitcase, and Steve snapped to action, lifting, and placing Eddie’s suitcase down on the slightly damp row of sinks. “Did you pack any liquid soaps?”

“Uhhh…” Eddie was too busy staring at the flex of Steve’s arms as he just. Lifted that whole very packed suitcase in one hoist. Fuck.

“Any shampoo? Conditioner?”

“I—I feel like my answer is going to make you mad so I’m just not going to answer.” Which on its own, was a pretty damning answer, and Steve’s expression told him as such “I don’t have a twelve step hair care routine like you do, Steve! I just… I have drug store shampoo and conditioner and that’s really only when it’s on a two for one sale! Usually I just—"

“If you say you water it down to make it last longer I’m going to throw the first thing I find in this suitcase at you.”

“Shutting up. I just thought I’d buy it there if I needed it, or just borrow yours, I know you brought some, right?”

“Yes.”

“Well then, I figured that… if I borrowed yours it’d make it seem like I just… wanted… to smell like you?”

“You just made that up.” Eddie just smiled, all teeth and dimples, scrunching his shoulders inwards in an unfairly cute display of mischief. “You’re a menace, Munson. Get your stuff out of there for me. Don’t ever put weed in checked luggage.”

“But—”

“TSA does random checks on checked luggage all the time, an while they’re not usually looking for weed, it’ll get launched and you might get fined. Whereas you can hide weed in just about anything in a carry on, just shows up as vague blurred shit on the x-ray scanners. Just be cool when you shove it through.” Steve was rummaging in the front of his own bag now, “be cool, and act natural.”

“You sound like you’ve done this before.”

“Mn once or twice, Tommy was a dick, but his cousin worked for the TSA for a few years, gave us all kinds’a neat tricks to get things through the airport.” Tommy’s cousin had gotten fired and a year inside for attempting to smuggle narcotics out of the confiscated items lock up, but that was neither here nor there. “Gimmie what you have.” Hand outstretched, Steve waited until Eddie placed the single baggie containing three roll ups and a few loose buds “Christ Eddie.”

“I knew I’d be nervous! Stop being mean to me!” Steve rolled his eyes before taking the three roll ups out of the baggie

“Your smokes, give em.” Plenty of room in the pack to slot the three roll ups, and as for the buds, Steve emptied out his travel sized bottle of hand lotion into the sink and stuffed the whole plastic bag into the little bottle, then screwed the lid on tight. Nobody would look twice at a rich kids hand lotion. “Now wet the ends of your hair.”

“What?”

“Your hair butthead! Wet it, we told my mother you’d be in here hurling your guts up, so… you got some in your hair, it’s a good extra to add to the ruse, now do it.”

“So my own boyfriend wouldn’t even hold my hair back if I threw up? Where’s the romance, where’s the commitment, where’s the care and—”

“Dude you have a lot of hair, I doubt I could get it all in my hand at once.” Although now that thought was in his head… could he? Could he get a good fistful and hold it there? Not important. “I’d drop bits.” A flimsy argument, he wouldn’t drop anything.

“Uh-huh, sure you would, big boy.” Eddie quickly dampened the tips of his hair, and ran a wet hand through his bangs quickly in a bid to fake flop sweat, theatrics over and done with. “Zipper-up, let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

Part 13

#PirateWrites #FakeItTillYouMakeItFiclet #Steddie #No Upside Down AU #Fake Dating AU #lmao this was getting long so i'm splitting it up

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badass-queer-couples-battle · 4 months

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Sword gays showdown, round 2, bracket three

Propaganda:

For Xie Lian:

The BIGGEST nerd about swords and swordfighting and martial arts it's his special interest and he's incredibly good at it! He ascended to godhood because of his prowess. He can literally defeat people with powers in swordfighting at a time he has no powers of his own. Talks people's ears off about swordfighting and recommends what specific weapon is best for them. Definitely has sword related trauma for *reasons* and doesn't like actually using them to harm anymore, but that doesn't mean he's not still incredibly skilled at using them when he needs to. And he'll still gush over any sword you give him to look at ❤️. A great quote from the book is: The Flower-Crowned Martial God: Sword in one hand, flower in the other. [they] only remembered the flower, but had forgotten: Xie Lian ascended because of his sword.

Xie Lian basically has a special interest in swords. He's literally so good at using swords that the only person on par with him was the Heavenly Emperor and that was when he was 17!!!! He is LITERALLY "The Flower Crowned Martial God, Sword in One Hand, Flower in the Other". He knows everything about every kind of sword and all the history of every sort of legendary sword. His husband gifts him a whole armory full of swords and he spends a few hours geeking out about it. He's so good at swords he came up with a special technique to absorb the blow from two other swords so that only he himself is harmed but the other two he's trying to get to stop fighting Aren't harmed, and it's so special that he's *recognized* by it even after centuries. He also got stabbed by a sword a hundred times in one night does that count. He REALLY loves swords and is SO good at swords. He's the sword boy.

He is so incredibly autistic about swords. The author descibes him as a sword otaku. He canonically had a massive collection of swords in his youth that he carted around everywhere and wore a different one each day so they would all be appreciated. His love interests most successful flirtation was showing him his armory and just letting him run around picking everything up and infodumping about swords for several hours. Also he could wreck anyone. AND he's gay.

For Ballister:

he could tell when his sword was switched out for a fake, graduated top of his class so we know he's a good fighter, also the scene where he's fighting is hot because he's so confident with a sword in his hand, also he's gay

A canonically gay, disabled, South Asian man takes down the government with his genderqueer shapeshifter sidekick/adopted daughter! He has a swordfight with his ex-boyfriend! in which he defeats about 20 knights singlehandedly!

top of his knight class this man is a master swordsman

(Movie) He has used a sword since he broke into the Institutes training ground and ended up becoming a knight

He has very divorced vibes with Ambrosius and he uses a sword.

He's a legit knight! So, it's in the fine print.

According to the Nimona movie, Ballister here has been practicing the art of sword fighting since childhood to earn the trust of the city and he was SO CLOSE to becoming a knight. He's also definitely not dating another one of his knight mates (?). Nope. Not at all. This movie is super straight /s I think he also beats an entire army of knights with nothing but his sword and a chaotic good shapshifter so that's pretty cool. He's also south Asian, has a prosthetic arm he made himself and is honestly such a goofy guy (in a good way ofc) if that's anything.

#sword gays showdown #ballister boldheart #xie lian #ballister blackheart #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #nimona #nimona movie #heaven official's blessing

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meangirls-imagines · 3 months

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Poly!Plasticsverse Kinks Pt. 2 (18+)

Note: CADY CONSENTS TO AARON HAVING SEX WITH Y/N. THE POLYCULE CONSENTS TO Y/N HAVING SEX WITH SHANE AND AARON.

The first time he witnessed Y/N do a backbend, he had a "gay panic" (reference the Vanity Fair vid where Auli'i revealed the double jointed talent and Reneè's reaction) he got semi-hard

Aaron isn't long (5 inches) but he's GIRTHY (in the words of @yungpoetfics: bratwurst)

Aaron Samuels is an eater (ass and pussy)

He has made Y/N cum three times in one night from head alone.

LOVES lap dances (Y/N gave him one once and he almost came in his pants)

Loves watching Y/N twerk

Cannot talk dirty (he's scared of being too mean)

King of Consent

Takes safe words very, VERY seriously

Loves when Y/N rides him

He's very gentle with Cady. With Y/N, he didn't know how to be rough. Y/N teaches him how.

Takes aftercare very seriously

Takes Y/N to Taco Bell after they fuck

Participates in no nut november

Walked in on Shane fucking Y/N and had to call Cady for permission to join. They had a threesome.

Y/N taught him the magical world of sex toys.

Whimpers when he cums.

Shane is a hand placement king

Even when he's making out, his hands wander

Shane is 7 inches. Average girth. (3.5 girth boy)

When Y/N sucks him off for the first time, he is ruined for anyone else. He takes himself off the market and only hooks up with Y/N.

His nudes aren't like most guys. He sends pics of his abs, chest, veins, and then he goes for the dick pic.

Him and Regina talk about fucking Y/N. (They spent a whole weekend fucking the shit out of Y/N.)

Y/N couldn't walk that following Monday.

He's rough but he never hurts Y/N

Loves face fucking

LOVES throat pies even more.

Shane growls when he cums.

When him and Y/N fuck for the first time, he whimpered when he slid his dick in. That's how he knew he was not gonna fuck any other girl.

When he came in Y/N for the first time, he ascended to heaven, only to crash down and freak out about Plan B (Y/N laughed and told him about her birth control)

He tracks Y/N's cycle. He knows the week before her period, she's very sensitive and super needy. He gives her attention. (and a lot of dick). Cancels plans with the excuse "Sorry. Gotta fuck my girl this week."

Gives Y/N foot rubs (and receives foot jobs)

Lube enthusiast

Perfectly chill with toys ("Toys are teammates not rivals")

Will gift his dick on special holidays (Valentines, Halloween, etc.)

Pillow humper

Essentially becomes Y/N's bf (according to the polycule)

Only does one night stands

Bottom

Loves receiving creampies

Loves bears

PRAISE KINK (likes being called pretty boy and angel)

Loves to cuddle after sex

Leaves before the other guy wakes up.

#poly!plasticsverse #shane oman x reader #aaron samuels x reader #damian hubbard

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twost3ps · 23 days

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I'm really tired right now cuz I finished exams, but I was thinking about Micheal's possible appearance in hazbin and like...

What if he defies all expectations and is actually this punk, loud, aggressive, unprofessional guy. Still a short stack, but he's a rock star.

These are all ideas being pulled out of my butt but it would actually be kinda funny if Micheal, instead of being this stoic and very professional angel, is like Adam - hes deranged arrogant rocker band guy (???)

Lucifur and Micheal are twins, but in the beginning, Micheal is the party going fun, loving loud mouth, while Lucifur has to play as the responsible twin. Micheal would start a ruccus, but his ideas never strayed further from god, so he was never punished for his wrong doings- he's just seen as a troublesome angel that meant well. Mciheal did think Lucifurs plans were stupid, and he made a point of telling him so. Eden was Lucifur's escape from responsibility and Micheal.

Micheal still gets Lucifur sent down to hell but does not feel pity but rather irritation as now lucifurs old responsibility falls to him. He's loaded with work because Lucifur worked closely with God in the creation of eden.

So time flies, eden Yada Yada Yada. (Little guitarhero hints because I'm not well) Adam is put under Micheal's guidance after dying and ascending (this totally does not have negative consequences 🙄) and Micheal guides Adam in his first years in heaven. Adam gains a lot of his personality through this Micheal- his arrogance, his hate, and what whatnot.

This Micheal is an enabler. And he fuels the angry fire inside of Adam against Lucifur, Lilith, and even Eve.

Micheal, not feeling pity om his brother, let's Adam hate Lucifur, feeds into that hate, and let's it fester. While not on purpose, he aides in Adam developing his misogynistic mindset through blaming them for why paradise had to end. It's partially also because he really blames them too.

"You never ate that apple Adam. They did. It's the woman in your life that did you wrong. And maybe it's just woman in general."

Something to that degree.

There are good aspects to their relationship. Micheal helps build Adam's confidence. He teaches him how to fight. As this Micheal is a lot less professional he shows Adam rock and metal and even gives him his guitar axe. It was made out of Micheal's old sword.

Micheal praises Adam a lot. They have this dude bro thing going on (for my guitarhero brain it was borderline gay sometimes. Micheal has slapped Adam's ass a couple times as "a joke" like how "straight" guys do when playing around. Insanity) But Micheal was Adam's best bro in heaven, and he really craves his approval, so he becomes like him.

They don't interact much as time goes on because Micheal has a growing responsibility as population rises but they hang out enough.

They party, drink, and don't really do ummm.. what's righteous.

And Micheal is usually the one who suggests it.

And maybe that's why the heavens judgemnt is so skewed because Micheal kinda just sucks as judge and justic overall. He has his moments of professionalism when it calls - he's better than Adam at being straight laced - but he has a giant bias over his judgment that sways every ruling.

He and Lucifur meet again and Micheal goes onto egg Lucifur at every notice.

It becomes very apparent to everyone watching where Adam got his personality from, because if he wasnt like this in Eden, then he surly got like it in heaven and everyone can guess by who.

For what he'd look like, it's probably some unkempt general's cothers that are ragged and torn but in a cool way that makes him rugged. His hair is long and never kept, it's crazy and wavy, but has a charm to it.

But I do hope though that- if he appears- Micheal has the fandoms stoic and formal personality. This is just a funny thought

#hazbin hotel adam #guitarhero #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel michael #micheal hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel au #funny idea ig #swap micheal

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adaineabernantsfrog · 1 year

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Fantasy High and Love

Dimension 20 is no doubt one of the most popular D&D Actual Play shows releasing currently. It has, as of writing this, 14 completed seasons, and the 15th well underway. These seasons range from four-episode side quests, to full seasons, which range from small town mystery in season 1 (Fantasy High), to Regency-Era Romance in season 14 (A Court of Fey and Flowers) to Game Of Thrones inspired Candyland in season 6 (A Crown Of Candy). Dimension 20’s main cast (The Intrepid Heroes) consists of Sibbion Tompson, Lou Willson, Ally Beardsly, Zac Oyama, Emily Axford, and Brian Murphy ‘Murph’, and most games are Dougen Mastered by Brennan Lee Mulligan (Captain K.P Hob, A Court Of Fey and Flowers) or Aabriya Ingar (Antiope Jones, The Seven). Of course, there are always other players who guest star in the seasons and work at Dropout (the company that owns Dimension 20), but these are the main candidates for the show.

Though the seasons do not always make it so obvious, one key theme underlies in all of them, and that is love. The show says, quite plainly, love is not always romantic. Love can be your friend, sacrificing herself to make sure you survive (Sibbion Tompson as Adaine Abbernant, Fantasy High Sophomore Year), love can be a King screaming at his head guard to “Take my daughters and run!” (Lou Willson as King Amethar Rocks, A Crown Of Candy), love is saying “I don’t love you anymore,” and putting yourself first (Persephone Valentine as Sam Nightingale, The Seven), and to end with a more traditional sense of love, it is two people renouncing their families for each other, kissing under a raincloud and saying “We have so much to experience together.” (Surena Marie as BINX Choppley to Omar Najam as Andera, A Court Of Fey and Flowers). In this essay, I will specifically discuss Fantasy High and Love, platonic or romantic.

Fantasy High is set in a small town, in a highschool, so romance is bound to appear at some point. It also follows our Intrepid Heros (Kristen, Adaine, Fig, Gorgug, Fabian, and Riz, played by Beardsley, Tompson, Axford, Oyama, Willson, and Murphy respectively) as they learn and grow as people. It follows their mistakes, their feelings, their hearts, and discovering their own sexuality and relationship ideals and goals as they mature. Now, we cannot talk about Fantasy High without talking about religion, specifically the religion of Helio, the Corn god. One of our Heroes, Kristen Applebee’s, was raised in this church as ‘Helio’s Chosen One’, and thus believed herself to be holy.

The religion on Helio is quite clearly a commentary on corrupt christianity and religious issues, as Kristen’s parents are homophobic towards her, and there is a secret underground cult the ‘Bad Kids’ (Kristen, Adaine, Fig, Gorgug, Fabian and Riz) discover around halfway through the season. In the first battle, when Kristen literally dies and ascends up to heaven, she meet’s Helio, who is the stereotype of a teenage frat boy. All this to say, Kristen later renounces her faith in her religion and abandon’s her church and family for her new one. The person who helps her discover she is a lesbian (and is her girlfriend as of the end of Fantasy High Sophomore Year/ Dimension 20: LIVE) is Tracker O’Shaunessy.

Tracker is everything Kristen (at their meeting) is not. She is calm, cool, collected, and has renounced her religion long before the season began, as she has lycanthropy, and is a werewolf, in direct opposition to the Church of Helio, worshiping the Moon Goddess Galacia. The exploration of losing your religion and growing into your ‘true’ self, whether that be a werewolf or anything else, is one of the most realistic I have ever seen, probably due to the fact that the show is written, or improvised, by people who went through it in real life. Tracker and Kristen are not without their flaws, but they have a very open and realistic relationship, including the fact that Kristen keeps telling everyone she is gay when she figures herself out for Season 1. It is interesting as well how a relatively small company can better display a lesbian teenage relationship than most streaming giants, and have more than one in the series.

Fantasy High: Sophomore Year (FHSY, Dimension 20: Live) brings in a new character in Ayda Augefort, Mistress of the Compass Points Library, Daughter of Arthur Augefort, half Phoenix. Arthur Augefort is the principal of the academy most of The Bad Kids go to (Excluding Tracker, Alewyn, and as of Season 2’s ending, Ragh), and the principal of the academy his daughter's girlfriend, Fig Faeth. Ayda Augefort is explicitly autistic, and in a relationship and thriving in a relationship. Unlike most media, the focus during her and Fig’s relationship is not the fact that Ayda is autistic, it is the fact that she is from an entirely different nation than the rest of them, and sometime’s struggles with social cues, and that’s it. It is unbelievably refreshing to see an autistic character's arc not be entirely on autism, but be on her relationships.

It is also refreshing to see autism being portrayed as normal (literally Ayda stating “This is normal, this is normal.” as Jawbone O’Shaunessy, Tracker’s Uncle and Adaine’s adoptive Father), and not some big bad monster that is needed to be overcome by the character. She is treated as ordinary, not incapable, not babied, and as an equal by her fellow adventurers. So often in the media, autism is a monster, showing someone incapable and unnerving. Ayda is not.

Ayda is just Ayda, and many people would call her the most capable and logical one in the group.

On the complete other side of the Fantasy High Coin Of Romance, we have Riz Gukgak, a cannoncially aromantic, asesexual charcter. Riz, throughout season 1 of Fantasy high, makes fun of his friends and their general ‘horniness’ as teens. He is left feeling isolated and awkward when the topic of sex comes up, whereas the rest of his friends (with perhaps the exemption of Adaine; Though nothing has been confirmed by Tompson or Mulligan regarding her) embrace their teenage years and the conversations surrounding romance and sex with open arms, though sometimes they take a bit of prying to get open, whereas Riz actively rejects it.

In fact, Riz rejects it so much it leads to the manifestation of Baron from the Baronise, Romance Partner, when the group’s worst fears manifest. To create Baron Riz did something many young, queer teens do, which is make up a lie of a boy/girlfriend or partner to appear perfect, to appear straight and cis and normal, because to many children, normal does exist, and it does for Riz Gukgak, who aspires to be normal in whatever way he can be, leading to Baron.

Many people agree that Baron is the one of the most horrific elements across any D20 season, even ranking above the current horror season, as Mulligan describes them as having “A voice colder than the grave,” and the fact it’s mouth “Does not move when he talks.”

Baron can be read as the metaphor for hiding who you are, that you are scared the real you will be ugly, be unattractive and horrific, backed up by the fact that Baron’s first appearance is in a mirror, they are a literal reflection of Riz’s worst fears. That he is unnatural.

Terrifying.

That Riz Gukgak, aroace goblin (un)-licensed private investigator that he is, is wrong beyond words, a horror only a few unlucky people would comprehend.

But how on earth could that be true about anyone? How can anybody, human or otherwise, be so horrible nobody wants to spend time with them? Baron says that “The years will go by, and everyone will find someone who matters more to them than you.” and Riz shuts it down. Riz “Seeks the truth so much (he) cuts his hands on the inside of crystals,” (Mulligan as Barron), and his friends love him, even if he is just “The little shrimp of this party.” (Murphy as Riz).

As a warning, this next section will discuss heavy topics of abuse, torture, anxiety and neglect.

Romantic love is not the only kind of love out there, and it is not the only kind of love covered in Fantasy High. Another prevalent love is the love between sibling, the love Kristen Applebee’s shows her younger brothers when she drops off gold in the beginning of FHSY, but most prevalent is the now unshakeable love between Adaine and Aelwyn Abbernant, two sisters who were abused beyond belief falling apart and coming back together, but only under the most horrible of circumstances that no person, age not important, should ever have to go through.

Adaine and Aelwyn, in different ways, were both abused by their parents, in a horrific mixture of neglect of Adaine’s needs and favoritism for Aelwyn. To quote BR Parents, “Usually the favorite is the oldest or the baby,” which is true here. Aelwyn is the elder sister, and Adaine is the younger.

The abuse suffered is also represented by their types of magic, Aelwyn being an abjuration wizard, and Adaine being a divination wizard, specifically the Elven Oracle. Aelwyn’s abjuration magic is a protective force, a literal shield as she shields herself, her true self, from her parents to avoid disappointing them, she gives herself the protection she cannot offer Adaine. Adaine, on the other hand, is a divination wizard, she can see the future that her parents are going to give her, and know what they are going to say about her. In every way for the first season, they are opposites, a diviner who focuses on the future and an abjurer who focuses on the now, Aelwyn working for the ‘bad’ side throughout all of season one resulting in her kidnap and torture in Fallinel throughout most of season 2, Adaine actively fighting against that side to the best of her ability. The abuse also drove a rift between the two girls, with Adaine saying “I feel unsafe!” to withdraw Aelwyn’s diplomatic immunity when she is arrested.

Terrifyingly, they have their softest sisterly moments between them when Aelwyn is a, to borrow a term from season 1, Palimpsest of a Person. She has been wiped and superimposed over by her country of birth, leaving nothing but a blank slate of a person, and how sad is it that someone who helped with the palimpsest’s in season 1 has now become a human equivalent of the thing she helped make. After this, they have a scene together where Aelwyn’s magic does what it has never done before, it reaches out and protects Adaine from danger directly, instead of watching her handle it herself. (It is important to note the magic here cannot entirely protect the girls, they are still in Flaniell, the danger is all around them, and there are ore elves working for Fallinel than people working with the bad kids.)

In the finale, their love comes to a head, when they end up in a quiet corner of the forest with their parents, alone, and with no other Bad Kids to help them. The importance of the quote “I don’t love our parents, but I do love you. Do you know that? I hope that you know that.” said by Adaine cannot be overstated, as it is finally offering Aelwyn something she has never had, unconditional love. Up until this point, Aelwyn has always believed she was only loved because she worked for people, loved by her parents because she worked for them, was at Hudol because they told her to be, ‘loved’ by Kalvaxous because she worked for him kidnapping the girls.

Adaine offers her none of that, Adaine offers her something new, and she is uncomfortable with it. She is unsure whether she deserves love, after all she has done, and, before passing out (not dying) in her sister's arms, gives an affirmative response to “Will you be my big sister? I would really love to have you as a big sister.”. Aelwyn passing out here is another thing that can be read as her truly leaving her old self behind, her Father is dead and her Mother is missing. She is starting to accept she truly can be loved at the end of season 2, and in the “Boys Night” one-shot has even found a group of friends of her own with Zayn Darkshadow and Ragh Backrock.

Another familial form of love is shown in Tracker and Jawbone O’Shaunessy, two lycanthropes assumed to be disgraced from their family due to their condition. Tracker is first met in The Black Pit, where her Uncle Jawbone is working security. At first, it is not said that the two werewolves are related in any way, but this is later discovered when Tracker comes to Augefort Academy to see “(My) Uncle Jawbone”. Tracker states, in one of her first scenes, tells Kristen that she has been kicked out of her house by her parents because she doubted her religion, the same way Kristen did. Thus, Uncle Jawbone took her in, and they live together.

Jawbone is not only shown to have parental affection for Tracker, as at the end of season 2 he asks permission to formally adopt Adaine, and also becomes a Father figure for Fig, Kristen, and Ragh when they all move into Mordred Manor, some at the start, some at the end, of season 2. However, none of this could have happened if Jawbone had not met our Intrepid Heroes themselves, and turned his life around from a drug-dealing werewolf to a licensed guidance counselor.

Speaking of our intrepid heroes, and to close off the section on Fantasy high, it would be a shame not to discuss the group that the main cast play as a collective, The Bad Kids. If I described the Bad Kids, you would think something was wrong with them. As of the end of season 2, they contain an Arch-Devil of Rebellion, The Prophet of a Forgotten God, The Elven Oracle, a (now) licensed private investigator, A former champion bard who said the quote “Toxic masculinity is dead, I dance now,” and briefly had a fling with The Elven Oracle’s sister, and A half-orc adopted by gnomes. Their names, in order, are Fig Faeth, Kristen Applebee’s, Adaine Abbernant, Riz Gukgak, Fabian Aramais Seacaster, and Gorgug Thistlespring.

Though their relationship started on rocky territory, with Fabian and Gorgug getting into a fight upon their first meeting, they quickly became friends after being forged in fire in the Clash of The Corn Cuties, and grow close to the point where they cannot live without each other. When Mulligan tries to force Willson (Fabian) to walk away from the group towards the end of Sophomore Year, he actively asks for Adaine, only for Mulligan to cut him off by saying “Sorry, no.”

In the very first interaction they have all the way back in season 1, upon meeting Adaine for the first time, Fig’s (Axford) first instinct is to lie to protect her from Goldenhoard, and from getting in trouble on the first day. Fig reassures her that she is cool when she starts to have a panic attack, and helps her through many from that day forward. Fabian also instantly knew that Riz was in danger in the beginning of FHSY due to the fact he didn’t pick up his phone on the first ring.

The girls start living with each other at the beginning of FHSY, moving into Mordred Manor with Tracker, Sandra Lynn (Fig’s Mother), and Jawbone. This shows how, finally, they have accepted each other into their lives and are ready to do anything together. It also gives Adaine the family she deserves.

In conclusion, Fantasy High and Dimension 20’s portrayal of love is so unbelievably real and genuine, and one of the best ones out there currently. There is no complicated love triangle, there is little dramatics, and everyone is respectful.

#holy shit this took so long #fantasy high #fantasy high sophomore year #adaine abernant #fabian aramais seacaster #kristen applebees #fig fantasy high #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #tracker o'shaughnessey #jawbone o'shaughnessey #aelwyn abernant #i have a lot of feelings #the bad kids #dimension 20 #d20

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dontbotherwiththepronunciation · 11 months

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Warning: Religion, God-critical (that term makes me feel like I'm writing meta that bashes a teen girl or pretends she is the villain), nihilism, explorations of suffering according to abrahamic faiths and particularly christianity, canon fucked upness in Aeron and Theon's stories. LONG POST.

I've been thinking about the Drowned God. I know people usually connect catholicism with the faith of the seven, which is fair especially when looking at it as an institution, and the faith of the Drowned God gets compared more often to Scandinavian/Norse mythology, more specifically to Valhalla as the afterlife (although I think the feasts given by Ægir and Ran in Skáldskaparmál would be even more fitting, but that's only me nitpicking), but the catholic catechism sees suffering as something that is both redemptive and also empowering and this reminds me of Aeron and Theon.

Christianity on itself believes that suffering, when united with the Passion of Jesus, atones for one's sins and thus allows entry into heaven. Catholicism specially sees suffering as an inherent part of the human condition brought upon by human sin against God.

“As long as [Adam] remained in the divine intimacy, man would not have to suffer or die.” - Catechism of the Catholic Church

But since Adam and Eve committed sin by eating the forbidden fruit (or as I like to see it in my I-view-very-important-religions-as-basically-high-fantasy interpretation, Eve chose agency & knowledge and cut the strings this divine puppeteer used to limit her with), suffering was casted upon them and all their descendants. And then, according to the incredibly specific official bible timeline from the Houston Christian University, 3974 years, six months, and ten days later (skdghsfbdhaaahahahahahah) Jesus was sent to earth to cause some havoc and basically tell everyone that the suffering, the struggle, the oppression and all the horrible things that happened to innocent people in our world would eventually have a payoff after death.

The more strict practitioners (ex. flagellants) used to (and some still do) find spiritual benefits when causing physical pain upon themselves. Corporal mortification was seen as an act that brought you closer to purity. Suffering made you ascend in the eyes of God. Suffering was encouraged. Suffering was noble.

Suffering was a promise of hope.

The promise of eternal life (and the eventual bodily resurrection) allowed people to believe that, as long as they placed their faith in Christ, the suffering would not be tied to a tragedy.

The phrase "God is Dead" first appears in Victor Hugo's Les Misérables but it became more popular through Nietzsche's The Gay Science (Insert SpongeBob hand gesture). A simplified summary of the themes explored in The Gay Science would basically be Nietzsche claiming that christianity invented an ideal inexistent utopia that is too farfetched from reality. He sees christianity as a common, anti-intellectual philosophy for simple minded people that enslaves its believers. But by seeing it as something inexistent and false, by "killing God", the illusion of divinity is lost and all the hope and consolation that came with it are gone too, leaving humanity in a state of tragedy; nihilism.

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it? - The Gay Science

To some extent I feel like he is the reborn Eve in the narrative. By denying the superior force he feels he gains control over his own person, but is left in a world of pain at the burden of his existence being tied to mortality and purposelessness (oh, sweet paradox)

Nietzsche was a self-proclaimed nihilist although he didn't seem to want to be one. He saw nihilism as the result of the loss one felt at the realisation that life, and all the suffering in it, had no greater purpose. "God is Dead" was calling the readers into finding a way to cope with the situation.

And for anyone who started reading this because I mentioned the Drowned God, sorry it took so long to get here, but I relate all of this specifically to Aeron and Theon and their connections to religion. I believe in Theon's bind to the Old Gods and, as he is in ADWD, it seems he has come to vaguely believe in both of these faiths, although the Old Gods are more present in his story. Aeron though, is so reminiscent of this concept.

And I know that christianity is not the only religion tied to the faith of the Drowned God.

The Osiris myth is arguably the most important one in Egyptian mythology and I think the motif of "What is dead may never die, but rises again harder and stronger" is just as if not even more present in that one.

In it, Set murders his brother Osiris. The reasons behind the murder vary depending on source, but one of them portrays it as revenge for Osiris having sex with Set's wife, Nephtys. Set usurps his brother's throne while Nephtys and Osiris' wife, Isis, search for his body, then mummify and revive him. Personally I don't consider it to be very similar to the myth of the Drowned God but it feels more resemblant to it than Jesus' very normal "came back without a scratch" resurrection. Osiris doesn't get that benefit. He comes back bruised and bandaged, with death being visible on him.

Christianity also has refrained from sacrificing their own but Quetzalcoatl and Tláloc, aztec deities, would demand human sacrifice through drowning during Etzalcualiztli (the sixth month of the aztec calendar) and Tláloc specifically promised an utopic afterlife to those who had water-involved deaths, but even more to those who willingly gave themselves to the water. Celts also practiced drowning sacrifices, but I know too little about them to be honest.

What I am trying to say is, if actively searching, one could alway find similitudes to other faiths, but because abrahamic faiths have been the ones that prevailed through time and the ones I've experienced most, I will focus on them.

Alright, Florence play "What the water gave me"

Drowning, baptisms and water imagery

I wonder what it would be like to be a Catholic, to dip your hand into the cold water and to believe in its holiness. - The Moth Diaries (Yes, I read the Moth Diaries, shut up! It is what if Carmilla and Twilight had a child.)

Christianity is kind of basic when it comes to water symbolism, but it's loyal to its theme.

There isn't a lot to speculate on water, it "washes yours sins away" but there is a common pattern in characters that belong to the Bible that is repeated over and over again and somehow Aeron embodies it pretty perfectly.

We are confronted with characters who have lived sinfully.

On the other hand, I do wonder what would be considered as "sinful" according to the Drowned God. Their religion is passed down orally and has no scriptures that I know of, so a set of rules can be more ambiguous depending on whoever is preaching. Lust, greed, wrath and pride, all considered official sins by christian doctrine, are encouraged by the faith of the Drowned God in the form of salt wives, raiding and their beliefs of ethnic superiority. The only sin I can think of that is specific to the them is that Ironborn shouldn't kill Ironborn, but even that is absolved when water is involved since drowning another Ironborn is alright and a death near the water is considered a good death.

We are born to suffer, that our sufferings might make us strong. - The Prophet, AFFC

Suffering is also encouraged, so I am assuming that any type of hedonism would be seen as sinful too (which would-be contradictory to what I stated above, but alright maybe GRRM was a little weaker when it came to world-building this time or maybe I am misunderstanding something. If so, please correct me, I genuinely am curious about these topics), if that is the case, then yeah Aeron was sinful and has reasons to look down on his former self.

Young I was, and vain, but the sea washed my follies and my vanities away. That man drowned, nephew. His lungs filled with seawater, and the fish ate the scales off his eyes. When I rose again, I saw clearly. - Theon I, ACOK

Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptised, - Acts 9:18

Here is one of the many character allusions I think one can identify in Aeron. Saul of Tarsus, disputed Apostle, leads a violent life persecuting early christians until lightning strikes him during one of his travels and blinds him. For three days he starves and spends his time praying until Ananias of Damascus comes to his rescue and baptises him.

It's one of the less obvious ones, but I just like how they used the scales-blindness imagery and while this storm was one at land, not at sea, there is another biblical character who shares more similitudes with Aeron.

As a kid the book of Jonah was one of my favourites, so of course I love Aeron!

A prophet, an equal, but weak in his beliefs, too tentative when he should be nothing but certain in his faith! God tells him to go overthrow Nineveh (east) and, because these prophets never learn not to contradict the narrative, he tries fleeing to Jaffa (west). On the way there, the ship he is traveling on is barely holding on because God has sent a storm against them. The sailors blame Jonah, Jonah takes the blame and goes "alright, you know what? Just throw me over board and the storm will cease." The sailors refuse, but Jonah goes overboard anyway. He comes back to the surface three days later reborn in the water as as a new man, now fully convinced to follow his path as a prophet.

Depending on the translation there are a lot of similitudes between the texts. Even the imagery used for describing settings is alike. I know religious scriptures get a bad rep because of all the atrocities committed in their names (valid, very valid), but viewed simply as text, they have some truly beautiful prose and the Book of Jonah is so vivid and precious, and it is very reminiscent to some of Aeron's chapters.

From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the Lord his God. He said: “In my distress I called to the Lord, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,/out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you listened to my cry./and you heard my voice. You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me. I said, ‘I have been banished from your sight; yet I will look again toward your holy temple.’ The engulfing waters were at my throat, the deep surrounded me; seaweed was wrapped around my head. To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever. But you, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit. “When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple. “Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them. But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’” And the Lord commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land. - Jonah 2

The seaweed in his head, the belly of the beast (Silence/Sheol), the crashing of the waves, the engulfing waters.

I won't even really go into The Forsaken with the Jonah comparison, because to me the Forsaken is the most open "Jesus in the dessert" analogy, but I still find it compelling to imagine Jonah and Aeron, both inside the whale/ship desperately praying to their God. Only one of them finds salvation and it's not Aeron.

But asides from setting and aesthetic there are these:

The god took me deep beneath the waves and drowned the worthless thing I was. When he cast me forth again he gave me eyes to see, ears to hear, and a voice to spread his word, that I might be his prophet and teach his truth to those who have forgotten. - The Prophet, AFFC

Ears that hear and eyes that see— the Lord has made them both. - Proverbs 20:12

Otherwise that they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed. - Isaiah 6:10

They have mouths but cannot speak, eyes but cannot see. They have ears but cannot hear, nor is there breath in their mouths. - Psalm 135:16 & Psalm 115:5

There is a singer from my country, she wrote a song called "Thanks for life" and then killed herself three months later (Iconic behaviour). The song is still considered a "humanist hymn", which I think is morbidly hilarious. In the lyrics, she keeps thanking life for things that should be basic to life; for having eyes, ears, mouth and hands. I think there is something interesting in how these are all basic atributes most people are born with but these acts of gratefulness, at least in Aeron and Jonah's case are not made in bad faith. They are genuine and true.

The Drowned God gives every man a gift. - The Prophet AFFC

Are these seen as the God's gifts too? If so, are these acts of gratefulness supposed to make the believers humble and less ambitious? Or is it just that the God is a niggardly one? We know of Aeron having thought his gift was that he could piss longer and farther than most, and later on he recognises the power of his speech, his eloquence. Surprisingly, Aeron is never stripped of that gift once Euron captures him.

His eloquence is his strength, through it he preaches, leads religious rites, advices lords and convinces others to join the faith. And of course, he also baptises.

Baptisms, baptisms, baptising, cleaning the sins way, water as a metaphor for blood, birth, rebirth, John the Baptist!

This is where the storm -> near death experience -> spiritual reawakening pattern ends, but the similarities become more clear when we recognise both of them as heralds whose strength lies in their reputation and their oratory, something both Euron & Herod recognise and it is what keeps them from killing him (or in Herod's case at least for some time).

I have mentioned on my blog that I don't buy a lot into the Jesus-Theon comparisons and I will mention it again later but, since I am a hypocrite, I will take the Theon-Jesus bait and use it as a prop for my Aeron-John thing. As of now there are just two instances involving Theon that actually make me think of Jesus:

Psalms 22

His baptism

Jesus baptism marks his place as "messiah" but it also announces the beginning of his true calvary. By having the Holy Spirit descend on him after the water has cleansed him, he accepts his destiny as his father's (God) lamb to the slaughter. According to Matthew's Gospel it is even Jesus who has to beg John to baptise him, although John is initially reluctant. After the baptism Jesus departs to the dessert knowing of the suffering that awaits for him. This is not the case for Theon. Theon initially doesn't even want to be baptised. It's almost like he is subconsciously trying to escape what is to come after the baptism: the anguish.

Lifting the skin, his uncle pulled the cork and directed a thin stream of seawater down upon Theon's head. It drenched his hair and ran over his forehead into his eyes. Sheets washed down his cheeks, and a finger crept under his cloak and doublet and down his back, a cold rivulet along his spine. The salt made his eyes burn, until it was all he could do not to cry out. He could taste the ocean on his lips. "Let Theon your servant be born again from the sea, as you were," Aeron Greyjoy intoned. "Bless him with salt, bless him with stone, bless him with steel." - Theon I, ACOK

I love Theon's baptism by Aeron. It goes badly and it's tragicomical. It feels like a mockery of Jesus' baptism. A satirised Monty Python type of scene.

Here he comes, our cocksure young man who sees himself as the chosen one, holding a promise of paper while thinking there is an entire comet heralding his return, here he comes, our prodigal son, all "Don't need no advice! I got a plan! I know the direction, the lay on the land! [...] Nuh-nuh-nothing can break-nuh-noting can break me down!" only to get cold feet and be made to kneel in the mud, annoyed at the custom that would have actually anointed him, and then having to blink the tears away because it hurts him. @/shebsart has a really beautiful and intense but also comical depiction of the scene and I really love it.

It's also a little sad. It shows a disconnection from what should have been his culture and faith. The saltwater washed Aeron's follies away. Aeron embraces it, he drinks saltwater, bathes in saltwater and would probably not mind it on his eyes. The saltwater nurtures Aeron, but to Theon it only gives pain.

Ok now, to

Reek, Aeron, Job and Jeyne, Falia and Job's wife

(I think a reading of The Book of Job could also be applied to Lancel Lannister with Amerei Frey taking the role of Job's wife and Jaime Lannister acting as Job's friends, but I won't write about him and even Aeron will be in second place. @/nosaeanchorage wrote meta about the religious journeys Theon, Aeron and Lancel experience involving trauma responses which I found to be very interesting and well formed, so yeah I'd recommend reading it!)

The book of Job has a theme in its story. Can you guess it? It's further suffering!

(In a very deep voice: Where were you when I feel from grace? A frozen heart, an empty space)

So, Job is this guy living a rather fulfilling and morally righteous life; he is happy with his wife and children, has a few friends, is wealthy and healthy and, most importantly, he is God-fearing. Satan tells God that the only reason Job is loyal to him and serves him so dutifully, is because God has been good to him. God gets insecure and tells Satan "alright, let's see if you are right. Go torture him a little. You can take his riches, his children and his health in that order. You can take pretty much everything he values, but keep him alive!"

Job becomes a miserable wreck of a man.

It's not a favourite of mine, but it has a pretty good interval of "pathetic wet kitten blorbo" and "angry, scornful almost defiant in his resentment survivor" so I still enjoy it. And it also opens the question on whether "divine punishment" is really something inherently based on justice and goodness, it defies the way many religions tend to preach that bad things can only happen to bad people and, unlike the suffering promised by Christ, there is no redemption to be found through it. Job at some point gets healthy again and his riches are restored, but this was not a given. The suffering is pointless unless he finds a meaning to it.

This doesn't really sound a lot like Theon or Aeron. Both of them were deprived of well adjusted, happy lives since childhood, but Theon's behaviour towards Ramsay sometimes reminds me of Job's feelings for God, and Euron literally claims himself to be a God.

Ramsay is never directly compared by the text or any characters to a God (well maybe he himself does, but that's arguable), the closest we come to such is this:

“The gods are not done with me,” Theon answered, wondering if this could be the killer, the night walker who had stuffed Yellow Dick’s cock into his mouth and pushed Roger Ryswell’s groom off the battlements. Oddly, he was not afraid. He pulled the glove from his left hand. “Lord Ramsay is not done with me.” - A Ghost in Winterfell, ADWD

But Theon's fear for him sometimes makes me think of one. He is so terrified of Ramsay and sees him as this unbeatable force, but keeps telling himself and others that whatever Ramsay has done, as nefarious as it is, is an act of mercy and goodness. I know there are different interpretations to that behaviour. Some readers tend to believe that he has successfully gaslighted himself, others see it as a remnant of his sardonic and sarcastic sense of humour. Personally, I imagine it's a mixture of both. There is enough textual evidence for me to believe he does not truly think Ramsay is justified in his actions, but I can imagine how he might try telling himself that no punishment goes undeserved as a way of coping, which is what he tells Jeyne too.

In the Book of Job, our poor little meow meow goes through different reactions as his torture starts, many of them resemble Theon's thoughts, never fully by text, but very much in spirit.

He would crush me with a storm and multiply my wounds for no reason. He would not let me catch my breath but would overwhelm me with misery. If it is a matter of strength, he is mighty! And if it is a matter of justice, who can challenge him? Even if I were innocent, my mouth would condemn me; if I were blameless, it would pronounce me guilty. - Job 9:17-20

How long will you torment me and crush me with words? Ten times now you have reproached me; shamelessly you attack me. If it is true that I have gone astray, my error remains my concern alone. If indeed you would exalt yourselves above me and use my humiliation against me, then know that God has wronged me and drawn his net around me. Though I cry, ‘Violence!’ I get no response; though I call for help, there is no justice. He has blocked my way so I cannot pass; he has shrouded my paths in darkness. He has stripped me of my honor and removed the crown from my head. He tears me down on every side till I am gone; he uproots my hope like a tree. His anger burns against me; he counts me among his enemies. His troops advance in force; they build a siege ramp against me and encamp around my tent. He has alienated my family from me; my acquaintances are completely estranged from me. My relatives have gone away; my closest friends have forgotten me. My guests and my female servants count me a foreigner; they look on me as on a stranger. I summon my servant, but he does not answer, though I beg him with my own mouth. My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own family. Even the little boys scorn me; when I appear, they ridicule me. All my intimate friends detest me; those I love have turned against me. I am nothing but skin and bones; I have escaped only by the skin of my teeth. - Job 19:1-20

That, the ambivalent conviction that they deserve to be punished, and the overall fear of their torturer's omnipotence are written similarly. Of course in Job's narrative the omnipotence is real, in Theon's it is only perceived, but so, so strongly.

And this is where Jeyne takes an interesting role.

Job's wife is a fun character and I admire her. To some extent she and Jeyne serve similar purposes in the story, since they defy Job and Theon's conviction of their fate being unescapable. Sadly, in Job and his wife's case, she is wrong because you can't defeat God and you can't escape him, but I still appreciate her condemnation of Job's passivity and God's supposed goodness. The text focuses on Job's pain but never on the collateral pain that reaches his wife. She might not have fallen sick, but since her living condition is tied to that of her husband she is affected by all this. She has lost her riches, her happiness, her children, and only because of God's whims, someone she begins to hate. She also begins to loathe Job and the way he keeps making excuses for God and justifying the tragedy that befalls them. So, she tells Job:

“Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” - Job 2:9

(fucking metal, I love her, iconic behaviour)

The holy scriptures are not very compassionate to women who defy men or God, they get vilified and punished, but I applaud that bravery.

In Jeyne's case, her defying of Theon's conviction that Ramsay is unescapable is done much more gently and the relationship between them appears to be one of mutual compassion; Theon often tries to victim-blame her in the same way he blames himself but never seems to truly internalise that, Jeyne apparently doesn't hold his participation in her abuse against him and considers him her saviour. But still! Jeyne, as meek and scared as she is, is the one who by constantly asking for help, by acting undignified in her suffering and not simply taking it without question, manages to water this seed of doubt in Theon's mind, even if he himself isn't fully aware of that.

And it's kind of fun to think how, although Jeyne and Falia are narrative props with similar purposes, it's Jeyne and Aeron who take the place of Job's wife. Falia is Job, fully sure that Euron is merciful and will treat her with respect and care for their children, that Euron will not forsake her, while Aeron is immediately telling her to run for her life.

Maybe because, unlike Theon, his faith is already placed in a God.

Jesus Christ & The Forsaken (and Lodos and Theon)

(Need new song...Wow a yard SAIL!)

Lodos

I'm going to clear the issue with Lodos very fast, because he too seems to be like a wink at Jesus Christ. Lodos literally claims he is the Drowned God's Son, dies, then supposedly comes back from the dead some time later like "'sup", leads a rebellion against the current ruler of the Iron Islands and dies again this time with all his followers being persecuted and killed, so yeah, he seems like a satirised version of Jesus Christ but there is not a lot more to that.

Theon

I have seen people claiming connections between the two but never in a manner I could agree with, and I feel so stupid because I don't get it. People sometimes compared his and Robb's relationship to Jesus & Judas, which aside from the suicidal thoughts post "betrayal" doesn't seem very alike. The "betrayal" was done for different reasons, the reactions to the "betrayal" are different, and the guilt also comes from different places. By placing Theon as Judas we also sanctify Robb in a manner I find almost insulting since Robb condoned and approved of Theon's torture by the Boltons. If I'm going to compare Robb and Theon it will be more to God & Satan, but even there it's only a superficial similitude.

Now, Aeron, Aeron, my love, Aeron!

My God, my God, why have thou forsaken me? - Psalms 22:1

“Still praying, priest? Your god has forsaken you.” - The Forsaken, TWOW

Even the title feels like a reference. The trajectory of Aeron's belief during the chapter resembles the psalms too and, although I never believe in anything I think, their similitudes are what makes me hopeful about Aeron's fate; the idea that he is not truly forsaken.

As hinted above, the Psalms begin lamenting themselves over the anguish that God is seemingly not stoping, yet as they continue the psalmist becomes even more convinced of his God being a merciful one who will provide a cure for his afflictions, one whom the world should praise.

For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help. From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; before those who fear you I will fulfil my vows. The poor will eat and be satisfied; those who seek the LORD will praise him— may your hearts live forever! All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the LORD, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him, for dominion belongs to the LORD and he rules over the nations. All the rich of the earth will feast and worship; all who go down to the dust will kneel before him— those who cannot keep themselves alive. Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet unborn: He has done it! - Psalms 22:24-31

According to most interpretations, the psalmist himself is Jesus. This is the suffering of Christ and from Psalms 22:22-31 it is spoken by him after coming back from the dead. He encourages others, those who have witnessed his anguish, to believe. This is also what Aeron does once Falia is bound to the prow with him, he tells her of better times to come.

“Falia Flowers,” he called. “Have courage, girl! All this will be over soon, and we will feast together in the Drowned God’s watery halls.” - The Forsaken, TWOW

This also slightly mirrors Jesus and the Penitent Thief, who is crucified next to the Messiah and fears what is to come after death. He asks Jesus to not forget him.

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” - Luke 23:43

It's so remarkable and moving to me how Aeron has always tried to protect Falia from Euron. He doesn't know her, if he were to have known her he would have probably looked at her with scorn, to some extent she has acted as an accomplice to Euron in his captivity, and yet...he promises this frivolous greenlander girl that the two of them will feast together...

The end of the chapter also carries christian imagery that seems to stem from Christ's crucifixion.

“Your Grace,” said Torwold Browntooth. “I have the priests. What do you want done with them?” “Bind them to the prows,” Euron commanded. “My brother on the Silence. Take one for yourself. Let them dice for the others, one to a ship. Let them feel the spray, the kiss of the Drowned God, wet and salty.” - The Forsaken, TWOW

When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom. Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.” This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said, “They divided my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.” So this is what the soldiers did. - John 19:23-24

They bound Aeron Damphair tight with strips of leather that would shrink when wet, clad only in his beard and breechclout. - The Forsaken, TWOW

The overall mental image summoned by that description is also rather similar to the typical depictions of Christ on the cross.

And even prior to The Forsaken, there are still some smaller, more superficial similitudes between the two.

Aeron lives sparingly, has no material possessions save for his waterskin and robe, he has a cult of followers devoted to him, and disregards governmental authority since he obeys to a higher power, one who encourages suffering in the same manner christianity does. Aeron fasts, goes swimming in cold water, drinks salt water, all this as a way to serve his God and become a living example of their teachings.

So yeah, in my opinion Aeron is the closest we have to an ASOIAF Jesus reference. It's not Theon, Theon's torture by Ramsay and the torture he imposes on himself afterward have no ideological purpose, it is pointless and unwilling. In my opinion, it's not Jon, it's not Beric, it surely isn't Robb, I hope it's not Dany (although I see a lot of abrahamic imagery in her (Moses + Lot's wife)), it's the Damphair. And I love that. I love how (according to the the author) one of the least sympathetic characters in this story has been somewhat equated to Jesus. A bold move, one that I've enjoyed a lot.

Anyway, in order to further develop this.

The Storm God, Euron and the Devil

Let's go!

I feel like Euron would appreciate this type of stuff he is flamboyant, weird and comical. If we ever get an ASOIAF musical I like to believe this could be inspiration for a duet between them.

Monotheism is a rare concept in ASOIAF.

The Many-Faced God could be the closest we have to a (explored in text) monotheistic religion, although it is monotheistic in the way Hinduism could be considered monotheistic: The belief in one supreme god whose qualities and forms are represented by a multitude of different deities, all which emanate from one alone.

Out of the religions that are explored in the books none of them are really monotheistic, although some of them demand for their worshippers to worship them and no other.

Most real-life monotheistic religions have a type of "anti" to their god, who is not a god themselves, but is a being superior to humankind meant to drive them to perdition. They function more as a tool for testing human's moral compass and will to follow the true God than a foe. The word "Satan" means "adversary", but this is in reference to his relationship to humans, not to God.

In Goethe's Faust, God and one of his devils, Mephistopheles, make a bet and Mephistopheles is fully devoted to winning that bet. He does everything in his power to prove human virtue isn't true and that corruption will always prevail. The story proves he has a point. Faust does some completely despicable and heinous stuff and is very immoral, and still Mephistopheles loses anyway because God decides to pardon Faust's misdeeds and allows him to enter Heaven. Mephistopheles never stood a chance. He was fighting the narrative and the writer of the narrative and he could only be defeated by them. He is only a minion of God who doesn't comprehend his position and believes he is capable of surpassing a creature who is above all.

This is pretty compliant with christianity's views on the devil.

Hoverer, it is not the case with beliefs like those of Aeron and Melisandre. They don't regard the Storm God and the Great Other as mere petty minions doing the Drowned God's or R'hllor's dirty work. They see them as threats and all other gods as their petty minions.

"There are no gods but R'hllor and the Other, whose name may not be said." - Victarion I, ADWD

"Your Drowned God is a demon, he is no more than a thrall of the Other, the dark god whose name must not be spoken." - Victarion I, ADWD

The Storm God is considered an enemy of the Drowned God, and although his labour is similar to that of the christian devil (driving men/sailors into their doom), he seems to be his own creature.

And still! When comparing Aeron's role to Jesus Christ in the Forsaken, I can't help but think of Euron, the Storm God, and Satan as one.

“Kneel, brother,” the Crow’s Eye commanded. “I am your king, I am your god. Worship me, and I will raise you up to be my priest.” - The Forsaken, TWOW

(Not gonna lie, I think it's very fun how out of all the Greyjoy's the one whose name is directly derived from "God" is actually Theon, but alright, whatever...)

We don't really know what triggered Aeron's religious awakening. With Theon, Ramsay and his time in Winterfell is the easiest answer, with Aeron it's a mystery and I don't dare to say religion was a coping mechanism for Euron's sexual abuse or Urri's death because, based on what we know, the more plausible options are that alcohol and sex were the coping mechanisms.

We only know he went down in a storm and washed up ashore. On itself that is enough to be traumatic, so I don't know how much we should speculate on it.

A smile played across Euron's blue lips. "I am the storm, my lord. The first storm, and the last. - The Reaver, AFFC

I don't even have a theory, I don't have any proof or a structured idea. This just seemed remarkable to me. The concept that Euron might be involved in whatever happened during that storm is tempting and fun, nothing more.

Now, if Aeron is playing the role of Jesus, with Falia as the penitent thief during the "crucification", then I think I can claim Euron is taking the role of Satan; especially during The Forsaken.

After an undetermined, but apparently long period of starvation and isolation, Euron finally comes to Aeron, dressed in black and red, and presents the equivalent to the Devil's three temptations.

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ ” Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written: “ ‘He will command his angels concerning you, and they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’ ” Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ ” Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will kneel and worship me.” Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’ ” Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him. - Matthew 4:1-11

“That’s it, priest. Gulp it down. The wine of the warlocks, sweeter than your seawater, with more truth in it than all the gods of earth.” - The Forsaken, TWOW

“Pray to me. Beg me to end your torment, and I will.” “Not even you would dare,” said the Damphair. “I am your brother. No man is more accursed than the kinslayer.” - The Forsaken, TWOW

“Kneel, brother,” the Crow’s Eye commanded. “I am your king, I am your god. Worship me, and I will raise you up to be my priest.” - The Forsaken, TWOW

I'm not going to pretend they are the same, with exception of the third one, but even the others have small resemblances; nourishment of some sort after starving + trying to get the other killed, although the later one reminds me more of an encounter between him and Victarion.

Euron turned to face him, his bruised blue lips curled in a half smile. "Perhaps we can fly. All of us. How will we ever know unless we leap from some tall tower?" - The Reaver, AFFC

The last temptation, is the most interesting to me, because Euron has already distorted Aeron's faith into being chosen as King. He played at the edge of legality and won! And yet now, during The Forsaken he is experiencing a sort of existential defeat. Aeron is not being rescued by any god, but he would rather die as a martyr or accept even more torture and suffering rather than serve him. It doesn't matter how much Euron tries to convince him that his God has abandoned him, that he is a greater force, like Jonah, Job and Jesus Aeron refuses to abandon his faith.

And I think this persistence is what will keep him alive.

I've always found it very fun and interesting that Euron never threatens to cut Aeron's tongue out.

When wondering why, the Theon-Ramsay answer would be that Euron likes to hear Aeron's pain, which makes sense given how Aeron is a more targeted victim of his compared to ex. Falia Flowers. But Euron very clearly intends to gain Aeron to his side. He knows of the power Aeron holds in his voice and speech, of his reputation as a holy and respected man among the Ironborn, and how much of a waste it would be to simply throw away that power. Remember Varys' "[Cersei] knows a tame wolf is of more use than a dead one"? An eloquent priest is of more use than a mute one.

But this also backfires on him because since Aeron's integrity can't be broken, he manages to keep defying him and even continues spreading the word of the Drowned God, even as he is in a situation of mortal peril.

And still, even if the end of The Forsaken is somewhat triumphal, I can't believe it.

Yes, he is strengthening his faith, this obviously is a victory over Euron, his persistence and loyalty, but how long will it last? Weirdly enough out of my five favourite POV characters, Aeron is the one whose death I'm convinced of the least (sadly), and whenever I try picturing him after managing to get away from the Silence I can't help but imagine there will be a change in his mindset and I don't know what form it will take.

“Even a priest may doubt. Even a prophet may know terror. Aeron Damphair reached within himself for his god and discovered only silence.” - The Drowned Man, AFFC

Maybe it is because the chances of getting to my 30s are very narrow, and in the mean time I am in physical and mental pain, that I find there is something very beautiful and empowering about showing that the horrors are not always meaningful, and that they are continuous. The horrors are trying to live before, during and after the horrors.

So anyway, the reason I brought up Nietzsche way earlier in this is because I don't think the suffering in characters like Aeron or Theon is of nihilistic nature and it baffles me when people pretend it is. This is not suffering for the sake of suffering because suffering is inevitable and pointless and blah blah blah blah misery porn blah blah blah trauma porn blah blah blah moral outrage blah blah blah. It is suffering, it is inevitable, it can be pointless, and it makes a huge point in the narrative and the characters lives! And it is important to me that we see characters go through these things; to see them lose, grieve and hate, to see them being imperfect examples of victimhood, even if their feelings on the matter will vary. Some might attach some personal value to their trauma and others won't and both should be allowed to exist in media without people pretending only one of those is valid.

Theon's suffering is something very rare and precious to me because it serves no greater purpose. It started before he even met Ramsay and hasn't known at end ever since. I don't consider it redemptive, it's not a justified karmic punishment either. It carries no ideology and it's not for the sake of others. There is no consolation for him or anyone else because of it. The blood will coagulate, dry and be washed away, the wounds will scar and heal, and he will gain weight and muscles back and none of his mental issues will be solved. The torture doesn't fix him.

And I think that his possible outlook on it will be very interesting to see in contrast with Aeron's and their respective religious journeys. Theon's religious awakening is different and still genuine. It is in servitude to another faith that would be looked down upon by Aeron, and whom even Theon himself denied back in ACOK, mockingly referring to them as trees.

"Tell me true, nephew. Do you pray to the wolf gods now?" Theon seldom prayed at all, but that was not something you confessed to a priest, even your father's own brother. "Ned Stark prayed to a tree. No, I care nothing for Stark's gods." "Good. Kneel." - Theon I, ACOK

And I can't imagine an Aeron who, after going through an event this world-shattering (being tied to the prow of a ship while living unspeakable horrors, being drugged by the person who sexually abused him as a child and has now confessed to killing their brothers, one of whom Aeron seemed fond of, being confronted with the victory of a self proclaimed god whom he despises, and starting to form his own connection with a former mean girl whom he would have spat on, now co-victim), would be as judgemental to his nephew's newly awoken beliefs, even if they differ, even if he keeps viewing his own calvary as something divine, even if to Theon the suffering will never be a positive.

With all this said, I will admit I long for some evolution in Aeron's faith as the story progresses. I am open to pretty much every ending, but I love the possibility of a rupture between him and the faith that has been sustaining him for so long. Perhaps not a full negation of his God, but some questioning of his religion. The unsettlement of the "God is Dead" sentiment crawling in the cracks of his doubt.

So, simply out of curiosity in case anyone actually managed to get here:

#speaking #asoiaf #aeron greyjoy #theon greyjoy #euron greyjoy #ramsay snow #falia flowers #jeyne poole #ok yeah fuck it I am posting it #I know nobody really cares about this stuff and sorry for clogging the tags but I had fun doing this and it's been on my drafts for #a month or so #christiangirlera #/sarcastic #whenever I see people complaining about [REDACTED] in Theon or Aeron's story I just think of that post complaining about lesbianism in rgu #“Oh I love this but this detail ruins it for me. It shouldn't have been there.”#and then that detail is one of the core themes in the premise that is fundamental for the development of the character #“mIsErY P0®n iS Vo¥eUr|sTiC”#well guess what? most fictive media is vo¥eur¡stic!

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