#abc saved everybody

[nicestgirlonline]

Underneath the Tree

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader 

Warnings: Lightly smutty! Minors DNI! Angst and romance mostly

Work count: 1.4k 

Summary: Dating Captain America during Christmas time certainly has its cons, but Steve is always there to make it up to you

a/n: ARE YOU EXCITED FOR SOME OOEY GOOEY HOLIDAY FICS??? I'm so excited for you to read this one. My first time writing Cap! Lots of Christmas fluff! Reblogs and comments are so so appreciated! Love you all <3

There’s a certain amount of Christmas Spirit that is expected from Captain America, that became clear the first year of dating Steve. Tree lighting ceremonies, Christmas parades, children’s hospital visits, charity galas, Christmas parties all across the country. 

Christmas had become a marathon month where you saw less of your boyfriend in person and more of him in glossy PR images. You couldn’t go with him given your full time job. Everybody got a piece of your boyfriend but you. This year you were hoping it would be different, but here you were. decorating the tree by yourself. Partially out of an empty boredom and partially from loneliness that comes this time of year. 

It was nearly midnight when you heard the lock of your apartment click, followed by the clattering chaos of Steve coming in. You could tell he was trying to be quiet, fighting against the noise from entering his bag of presents as well as his shield. 

“Oh, you uh, you already got the tree decorated?” Steve asked, clearly disappointed. You had resisted decorating it for nearly a month. Steve and Bucky chopped down real trees after thanksgiving and it filled the apartment with a wonderful pine scent. You two put the lights on right away, bright multi-colored bulbs that made the room glow yellow, red and blue. But putting up the ornaments was something Steve had wanted to do together. Unfortunately, you didn’t get to be together much during the Christmas season. 

So it stood tall and empty in your living room. A gloomy reminder of your lonesomeness most nights. He had promised you two would decorate it before Christmas, but that deadline was fast approaching. 

He had lifted the huge sack of presents over his shoulder. You wanted to laugh seeing him in his Captain America get up, with a Santa hat and presents over his shoulder. He looked adorable but exhausted.  He placed the gifts under the tree and took off his helmet. He ran his hand through his messy helmet hair then turned to you to give you a kiss. 

“Well, it's going to be Christmas in eight minutes. So I figured I had to at least get started.” You said dryly. He sent you a sad smile. 

“Thank you for saving the popcorn at least. It’s the best part of the tree.” He picked up the popcorn garland that he insisted on each year. A throwback to the old-fashioned decorations he loved. He had lost the argument about tinsel but popcorn garland was a mainstay. 

“You should get some sleep Sweetie. You’ve got the ABC Special tomorrow.” Even with the smile on his face, you could see how tired his eyes were. There were dark bags expertly hidden under some TV make-up. He scoffed. 

“What are you talking about? We’ve got to get this place decorated. I promised before Christmas.” He said already starting to get the garland strung up. “Any of the ornaments left? There’s room up at the top of the tree!” 

You smiled at him. Your frustrations and resentment twisted in your stomach. It was nice that he was trying. 

“I saved you the cutest one.” You handed him his personal favorite. Winter Fighter, a bootleg Bucky figure with both arms painted silver and no eyes. It made Steve laugh hysterically when he first saw it. You started to collect them, until you had a tree with nearly only ugly, knock-off Avengers merch. The red and yellow Mcdonald’s looking Metal Hero, Nordic Space Hero who had brushable blonde hair, the twisted plastic face and bulging eyes from the Commander USA ornament.

He hung the remaining ornaments with care. You really didn’t know how he still had the energy. 

“I love Christmas. I always have. For a long time I didn’t really celebrate it because I didn’t have anyone to celebrate it with. So I'd filled my calendar with all of this - stuff.  All of December I would get to see so many people and make their Christmas’s special. ” 

“Except I haven’t really been here this year, have I?” 

You shrugged, you didn’t want to fight but you didn’t want to lie either. 

“I’ve seen like thirty Christmas tree lightings this month. But this is the only one that has actually made me feel anything.” 

“Because it's so ugly and cheap?” You joked, lightly elbowing him. He doesn’t laugh, instead he grabbed your arm and brought you into him. He moved his hands to your waist. 

“Because it's ours. I hate that I’ve been away from you so much. I keep celebrating Christmas with everyone except the one person I love most.” His voice broke slightly. You could hear his sorrow. You hugged him

The two of you embraced, you felt tender and vulnerable as you swayed in the soft light of the tree. 

“This is all I wanted this year, just to be with you.” you whispered to him. He squeezed you tighter, you snuggled into his warm chest. 

“Well, I guess there’s still time to return all these...” He sighed, gesturing with his head to the gifts overflowing under the tree.

“Hey!” You grabbed his chin as he chuckled at your indignation. “Let’s not get crazy here. You still have some things to make up for.”  You kissed him again. He tilted his head and parted your lips with his tongue. He gently cupped the back of your head, his other hand going to your hip bringing you tightly against his body.  He pulled his lips away, to lean down and scoop you up in his arms.  You let out a squeal as he swept you up in his arms, placing your arms around his neck.  He brought his lips back to yours as he started to carefully make his way towards the bedroom. 

“Wait, wait!” You cried out. Steve stopped in his tracks, his head tilted to the side. 

“I thought we were making up for lost time?” 

“It’s just…the tree finally looks so good.” You said sheepishly, biting at your bottom lip. “It’s kind of romantic, don’t you think?”

Steve beamed. He bent down to nuzzle his nose against yours. 

“Yeah Sweetheart, I think it looks great.” He spun around to place you down on the couch instead. He crawled over you, warmth radiating off of him as he boxed you into place. His lips met yours again, slowly moving against yours. His tongue teasing against your lips, asking for entrance. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, hugging him closer, you’d missed him so much. You clung to him, hitching one of your legs over his, both of your lips dancing together. 

You reveled in being surrounded by Steve for the first time in weeks. You basked in every part of him. The smell of his cologne, a cedar wood and musk, the sound of his breath hitching as you lift your hips to reach his, the roughness of his calloused hands and the gentleness of his lips. 

“I love you,” he breathed. 

You gazed into his blue eyes, filled with warmth and affection. His beautiful face was illuminated by the twinkling lights of the tree. 

“I love you too Steve.” Glancing at the clock, you could see it was past midnight now. “Merry Christmas.”  He glanced over his shoulder at the clock then back down at you. You could tell what was weighing on his mind. He was the Star - Spangled Christmas Man, he had places to be in about six hours. He cracked his neck then eased back down on to his forearms over you. 

“You know, I think I’m starting to feel a little sick.” You cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Excuse me?”  He let out a few performative coughs before burying his head in your neck. He started to slowly press kiss down to the base of your throat. 

“I think I’m far too sick to even think about going out tomorrow. In fact, I think we are going to have to cancel all of my engagements, until the new year.”  He continued his kissing down from your throat to your clavicle.  

“Hmm well if it's that serious sweetheart, maybe you should just stay in bed all day tomorrow.” You suggested. You let out a happy sigh as his lips continued down to your chest. He snaked one hand down your legs, cupping your pussy and snapping your panties off. 

You tangled your fingers in his blonde hair and you started to push his head further south, which he quickly obliged. 

You knew you couldn't have your boyfriend all to yourself all of the time. But you’ve been very good this year, and you deserved it.

#steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #slight angst #fluff #holiday smut #christmas fanfic #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction

[lyculuscaelus]

Ody Does Math

“Good morning, teacher.” sang the kids, faces radiating vitality.

Indeed, it was a good morning. You can hear the larks chanting in the forest, oak leaves whispering secrets of the wind, and see the open fields bathing in the blazing sunlight casted by Lord Helios. Every bit of this scenery was calling for your attention.

But now is not the right time for that. Commented Athena, in her mind. Now is the time for their math class, and none of them can escape this fact.

So she simply nodded to their greeting. So far so good. She gave a quick glance around the classroom. Odysseus, her favorite student, seemed rather eager for the class. He’s doing good as always, Athena thought. Eurylochus, on the other hand, seemed quite unsettled. Curious. Is it because of his homework? Athena wondered. And as she set her eyes on the next student, she called:

“What are you doing there, Mr. Polites?”

She could see his panic alright. But soon as Polites reclaimed himself she heard him say: “Sorry, Ms. Athena. I was just trying to pack this bag real quick.”

“What for?”

“Er, Ms. Athena…I don’t suppose this is the right place to say—”

“What for, Mr. Polites?”

He sighed. “It’s for a friend of mine, really. Today’s his birthday.”

As he finished, Athena caught a glimpse of the mild blush on Odysseus’s face. It wasn’t hard to figure out what exactly was happening here, but she merely said:

“Well, in that case, I might as well congratulate this friend of yours with a ‘happy birthday’. Hope he gets to be a valiant warrior, a warrior of the mind. And yes, you may sit down, Mr. Polites.”

As everybody settled on their seats, Athena quickly chalked a line of Greek on the blackboard. It reads: ΣΤΟΙΧΕΙΑ ΓΕΩΜΕΤΡΙΚΑ (Elements of Geometry). As soon as she finished, she said:

“Welcome to today’s math class, everyone. We’ll begin with a discussion on a simple problem in your textbook. Now, please turn to page 43, and evaluate the problem quickly. I’ll ask for your ideas in a few minutes.”

It’s not hard. Thought Odysseus. Just some simple geometry. You draw a perpendicular BC at point B with half the length of AB, and…

“Mr. Eurylochus, if you may?”

Eurylochus’s hesitation was all written on his face. And his silence was loud enough to speak for his cluelessness. I should help him. However, it’s not my turn. Thought Odysseus.

Athena apparently noticed something. “Mr. Odysseus, if you may?”

“Yes ma’am. You need to draw a perpendicular BC…now we have an auxiliary right triangle ABC, right? Draw an arc with center C and radius BC intersecting the hypotenuse at a point D. Then draw an arc with center A and radius AD intersecting AB at a point, say E. Now E should be the golden ratio point.”

“Good job. Now prove it.”

”Prove it?” now it was Odysseus’s turn to hesitate, but he hoped that he didn’t show it. However, Athena was quick to pick up something…else. “Well,” he started, “all I gotta do is…huh, what’s this bag for?”

A look at Polites was sufficient to explain everything.

“Mr. Polites! You seem quite eager to hand the present out, I see. Why don’t you give Mr. Odysseus a hand, by proving this point E to be the golden ratio point as he claims?”

Polites was eager, alright. He stood up swiftly, and said, “May I have a chalk, Ms. Athena?” After a moment Polites finished the proof on the chalkboard, saving the day. Then Athena complimented both Polites and Odysseus, and the class moved on.

But Eurylochus was uncomfortable with the compliment that Odysseus had received. Geometry is his strong point alright, thought Eurylochus, but let’s just wait till we get to arithmetics.

…

And soon they got to arithmetics. But there were only 10 minutes left for the class. So Athena decided to give a little quiz.

“I have a challenge, a test of skills.” said Athena, “the problem is, are you all ready for it?”

All nods. Ok. “Then let us begin by introducing a geographic fact. This is Troy, 600 miles away from us if you travel by sea. Now suppose that a ship travels at a speed of 5.755 miles per hour without the wind, and it is heading from Troy to Ithaca in full speed, and when it is 2.8 miles away from Ithaca it takes a turn to Temesa, sailing through 290 miles in total, and from there to Aeaea 158 miles away. Suppose the ship sails in a uniform speed, without any wind. How long does it take in total?”

Odysseus could see their expressions clearly. He could see Eurylochus busy doing the calculations, which wasn’t a surprise at all since he was so good at it. I could use a good right-hand man like him. Odysseus thought. And let’s see how Polites is doing. He seems to be struggling with it, which is not a good sign…

But what are you doing, Odysseus?

He had no idea. To be honest he haven’t even figured out how a decimal point works, but he’ll do it anyway, after all he’s a warrior of the mind! What do those miles add up to? 420? 420 divided by 5.755 is…730, right? Wait that 730 looks so familiar…isn’t that twice as long as 365 days? My goddess, that’s a really long time!

“Mr. Odysseus, what’s your answer?” From afar, he could hear Athena calling to him. But this time, there is no more hesitation. He had found his confidence. He knew his result to be true, though somehow he doubted the validity. But he’s gonna answer it anyway, knowing that had it been wrong, the fault was not his at all, but Athena’s. She provided the data, didn’t she? So nothing can go wrong. Just you chill, just you stand, just you answer.

”Ma’am…it’s two long years.”

#It’s 181.6 hours with no storm or tidal wave #He made two different mistakes over the decimal points #see if you can spot them #And the last mistake was about unit conversion #odysseus #epic the musical #fanfic #math #12 long years #somehow i don’t suppose this little nerdy fic can go popular? #Nonetheless I’d still like to nerd out something concerning my data #So I consulted the wikipedia to discover that specific map made by Abraham Ortelius depicting the return journey of Ody #It sets the land of Laestrygonians and Aeaea in the south of Rome #Which means that if Ody was to be blown by the storm from Ithaca in-sight (about 2.8 miles away) all the way back to Aeolia #And from there to the Land of the Giants #he’ll have to take a slight turn to visit Temesa #putting the distance he traveled from Ithaca to Temesa to be 290 miles (I checked the map literally) #Yep the distances are all read from the map of the sailing distance calculator #And the speed of the ship was VMG (5 knots look pretty normal so I picked it) #And by inserting those three mistakes that everyone has potential to make #I get the number cleanly (with some rounding offs ofc) #And isn’t that incredible? #Gosh I’m so excited about this little coincidence

[simmancy]

Happy Spooky Season, pumpkaboos! 

Here’s what’s happening this month / going forward on simmancy-dot-tumblr-dot-com.

𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜! 👋

Hi there if you’re new! My name is Kit, I am 32 now, this is my simblr, I am active on and off. If any of that bothers you, unfollow, it's okay! If you're here because I posted a mod list or a random piece of CC you like, then I have good news - I do those things occasionally! When I am actively posting, I usually dabble in gameplay. I don't do much storytelling anymore because... well, I don't have the time!

𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚂𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍𝚞𝚕𝚎 🍬

I have SOME stuff I've been poking at in my ~spare time~. I love Simblreen, it's the best time of the year imo and it's just... a tradition. It's a tradition. So I'm going to try 🤞

I have been writing out a mod list centered around occults/spooky gameplay at least. So that's seasonally appropriate????? If you have a mod list request hit my inbox because I still fucking LOVE WCIFs and that's a sort of WCIF.

𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 🎃

This year (and likely going forward), I'm going to try to use my blog to showcase the community. There's SO many cool things in the ts4 tag!! So I've been scouring it at the dead of night to refill my queue 👻 That's what you can mainly expect this month. No CAS challenges, no CC challenges, just some creepies and kookies from others around simblr.

𝚁𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚛 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 🌕

Hi regular followers!! I’m so sorry if you've been here a long time, because I don't have much updates on my ~classic~ gameplays and saves and they just...... won't be. For a while.

Not So Perry... I have a bit of Gen 4 but I haven't played in a whiiiiile so. I might revisit that/redo/we'll see.

Star x Crossed is indefinitely on hold - I will probably revise how that was posting because the full episodes just aren't possible right now. I might do it more as like... an edit type thing, where the edits tell the stories or whatever. It SUCKS because I had really big hopes and dreams for that save and instead I... had a child.

The Nobel ABCs will return because I have 10 generations done in game. I just need to queue.

Maggie's Wonderful Life WILL eventually be done LMAO. I'm hoping to get back into that save soonish. I LOVE farming gameplay! So I want to play/finish it. I had about half of the introductions shot before I got distracted with other things and then... well. yeah.

New saves? When I manage to play, I play a lot of newer saves LMAO. Mostly because when I have time right now I need... something easy.

𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚄𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎 🔮

I decided I like doing this once a year Simmancy Newsletter during my favorite time of the year. Halloween remains the BEST season, and there's also no guarantee I won't drop off the face of the planet again.

Obv the main thing is that, as previously stated, I had a baby. A whole ass baby. She's now 3 months old, and she is so much in the best way. We're currently teething and if you're like "Kit that seems a bit early," you're absolutely right but this is the lot I've drawn in life. She likes to be sat up, and stood up, and to talk to the Baby in the Mirror. She also is obsessed with trees and the cat. I know new moms are annoying and I'm absolutely that annoying new mom, I literally cannot shut up about her and therefore make my sims blog also about her.

I go back to work next month and I'm absolutely dreading it. Can I just be a sim and have someone press motherlode for me? Please?

Otherwise, there's very little in Kit World. The past 6 simblr years remain wonderful, and I've met some of my best friends on here. I go between BG3 and Sims when I have game time (which isn't a lot because Baby Simmancy is increasingly awake and mobile). I WISH I had more time to hang around here but maybe in a year or so.

Anyway, that’s my update of the year. Happy spooky season everybody! I hope it’s a good one!

Stay safe & spooky out there!

#blog update #kitkat chitchat #'i will be putting that baby in a pumpkin' sound #yes i am continuing to use my simblr to also update you on my child

[kelyon]

In your opinion, what was the biggest lost opportunity on OUAT?

I mean, Neal is the obvious answer, though I am going to come in with a hot take that things might have been better if he had died sooner than he did.

If he had actually disappeared into a portal at the end of season two as some kind of heroic sacrifice and everybody who mattered to him had to actually deal with his death and the fact that their time together was cut too short... that would have been fine. Emma would have regressed a little in terms of her openness--because even if people aren't always going to let you down, you can still lose them. Henry would have to cope with only knowing a little bit about his father and wanting to know more. Snow, Charming and Regina try to comfort Emma and Henry and don't know what to do. Even Hook might be useful in this scenario, connecting with Emma about lost love, connecting with Henry over knowing Bae in Neverland. (And also about knowing Henry's grandmother, because that's never brought up. Which I get, but still. A kid might want to know that his dad's mother was a pirate.)

And of course Gold. Rumple had 300 years of working to get his son back and then when he finds him, Bae hates him and then he dies. How does a man come back from that? In the real show, he goes off to Neverland on a suicide mission, determined to give his life to save Bae's son. Then Neal is alive and they reconcile--but what if that doesn't happen? What if Rumpelstiltskin has really, finally, lost everything? How does the Dark One live with that? How does Belle cope with her True Love suffering so much and also probably becoming truly dangerous?

This is all a bummer of course, and I understand why ABC wasn't going to go in that direction. But if Neal couldn't live, is it too much to ask that his death mattered? That's the real insult of season 3b (and season 4a), that everyone just acted like this vital part of the story... never existed

#tmi tuesday #ouat #neal cassidy #baelfire

[popculturebuffet]

Supermay!: It's A Bird... It's a Plane.. It's Superman! Review (Comission for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Supermay! A celebration of all things man of steel. And today boy oh boy do I have a treat for you. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a goddamn musical. We're taking look at the 1975 tv adaptation of the 1966 Stage Musical It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's superman! Baby.

This is something i've wanted to watch since seeing a clip of what turned out to be the final number years ago: It looked cheesy as hell and I was here for it. And when I pitched it to Emma her response was a resounding

So here we are.

So thanks to wikipedia I got some background on this one. Usually not the best source but I didn't have a lot. It did give me stage actor and superman in the broadway version Bob Holiday's 2000's as hell website

it's funly nostalgic and the guy seemed genuinely nice and i'ts mostly to tribute the man. Ther'es the odd bit like "sounding every bit as masculine as superman must" but it's mostly a nice little tribute. It didn't tell me much but it did impress that Bob HAD to maintain the superman posture live on stage and that the musical had flying effects, which is neat.

Otherwise the musical did well with critics.. but Audiences didn't catch on. They may of just not been in the mood for this level of camp, it may of been that old attitude that "comic books ares for childrens", which is true but their also for everybodys at the same time. At any rate it didn't do well.

The weird thing is.. it was a case of DC accidnetly undercutting itself. Around the same time the camptastic glory that was Adam West Batman started airing so an intended Time article for the musical was reduced to a blurb to promote batman instead.

So a decade later DC tried to recoup some losses, lisenscing the musical to ABC in the hopes of getting some of that sweet high school and regional theater money. And instead.. ABC just shoved it on their schedule and didn't really give a shit. So yeah this musical is mildly cursed and I feel bad fo rit. It's a wonderfully campy little piece of superman history, a truly odd, truly unique thing that deserves it's flowers, so today i'm giving them to them. So come fly with me under the cut as we experince bargin bin sweden hating lex luthor, jealous journalists, wacky mobsters, depression, an iconic musical number, gay supervillians in love, and all the camp that's fit to print. It's A Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman! .. and some ads!

Commericals!:

As a brucey bonus, the person who put this specail on youtube also added a cluster of superman themed commericals at the end. I'm going to tackle them because my good friend @jess-the-vampire recommended them. We watched the musical together but she stuck around for these commericals.

We open with one from Bob Holiday, who promotes Aqua Velva.. and honestly I wish more than just the soundtrack for the stage musical existed because he seems like an excellent superman.

The next is just superman using an at and t card to call the office as they try to get back to .. contact london. And Lois brings up he always disappears? I don't get you commerical

Now we get into the real nonsense. Lex Luthor has kidnapped superman.. to ask why superman peanut butter tastes so great. The funniest part of this is I could buy lex being THAT petty that he can't just ASK superman, he has to kidnap him, put him near a giant chunk of kryptonite and demand he tells him. Some kids save superman, they enjoy some peanutbutter and luthor finds out he'll find out someday, SOMEDAY SUPERMAN YOU'LL TELL ME THE SECRET OF YOUR RICH CREAMERY PEANUT BUTTER!

Anyways, now for superman to say no to smoking! Some man dressed like a wizard is teaching children to smoke. Man big tabacco is really having to get clever. I remember the old days when they didn't have to be as subtle

Superman then fights Nick O Teen again.. yes that's really his name.

Yes he really looked like that. And the sad part is this special proves this isn't even the dumbest guy he's fought. he fights nick as he tries to corrupt youth at baaseball and then claims you can quit any time only to disprove it when superman takes his sigs. He also coughs up a big black cloud when superman does this? Superman.. I I think you might be killing this guy. Give him his smokes superman, let him live!

Superman then calls a kid who smoked to be cool a looser. This is somehow only the second most dickish thing he's ever done.

We then get a few less takable adds: Superman picks up a kid who was abndoned by his friends for being intrested in drugs and relaizing drugs ar efor loosers, then promotes a kit for asmatic kids.. which is actually really nice. Good job superman.

We then get an add for underoos which is a bunch of children dancing around in their underwear. I feel like i'm going on some sort of watchlist just for watching this. There's Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Spider-man! And another add which adds batman and the hulk.. and the dukes of hazzard? Also this add made me realize the venture bros were wearing underoos for some time

Though the actual aquaman underoos are way more half assed

That's just..sad.

Anyways enough about children's underwear, for the love of god enough about children's underwear, let's have some airforce propoganda by some weirdo in a mustache and some weirdo in a superman outfit who gets recurited for the airforce.

Now Taco Bell is offering SUPERMAN GLASSES. Super fuckin shooter.. I actually want one of those now. I miss when restruants did this. I wasn't really around for it but I miss it.

Now superman on viewmaster! God I loved how these things looked as a kid.. on the outside. could never really see them well.

Next superman rescue two kids from the evils of WEEEEEEDDDD and just fly them to the boys and girl club. I mean that last part's nice and children shoudln't smoke weed but like... do they have a ride home? Are you just going to fly them to my house.

Now for a create a super villian contest. Everyone gets puffy stickers! EVERYONE EVEN YOU. EVEN IF YOU DON'T WATCH THEM. Also Casey Kasem robin. That's dope.

Now for a living french fry from superman french fries

And now our feature presentation

So we open with some .. weird as hell introductions to most of our cast. And it's right away we get one of this special's weirder quirks: out of Superman's suprisingly large supporting cast and main rogue's gallery only THREE characters from the comics are in this musical: Superman himself, played by David Wilson, Lois Lane played by Lesley Ann Warren and Perry White played by Al Ludden. I couldn't find anything really on wilson, but Warren's been in a ton of stage and tv while Ludden was the host of pass word. Yes weirdly Jimmy Olson is left out.. I wonder why

Fair enough then. So rather than say get Lex Luthor or Jimmy in the plot we instead get Max Mencken, an egotistical reporter who hates superman for stealing all the attention played by Kenneth Mars, mars assitant who has a thing for him Syndey Carlton played by MASH star Loretta Swit, the only actor I recognized in this, and David Wayne as Dr. Abner Sedwick, a mad scientest working for the Metropolis INsittue of Technology who wants to kill superman to conquer the world. There's also a mafia boss played by Malachi Throne, thankfully replacing the racial sterotypes with hired goons

Yeah while I get not using some of supes Rogues, Braniac would hard to be get right on stage back then for instance, it's very weird to me that they don't use Luthor for sedwick's role. Ther'es nor eason it CAN'T be him: while Luthor didn't have sedwick's veil of legitmacy back then (A weird thing to think about) it's not that big a change nad as seen by the 80's onward, it actually improves the character. I get Max, they wanted more characters at the planet and there didn't seem to be a deep bench and Jimmy never would've fit the roll. It's honestly hilarious to me as Steve Lombard, Morgan Edge and Jack Rider would all fill similar rolls over the years to this one, while Sydney would likely be Cat Grant, the planet's gossip columnist, these days.

At any rate we get a quick recap of superman's origins that also belies that this musical is goofy as shit, using comic panels and leaving subtly at the door as this is superman's rocket in this version

I'm all for it though: the musical's clearly meant to be tounge and cheek and is trying to be funny.. but is that rare work that's both genuinely funny once in a while and so bad it's glorious. Someone wrote a joke this corny, thought it was funnya nd put it on tv. Someone had to assemble this prop and I salute them.

So we get clarks teen years, him becoming superman all in miniture before we get our first number. We Need Him. And I have enough praise for later numbers I can comfortably say this is dogshit and not feel too bad about it. Like it is just bad. 80% of it is just them saying WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM, WE NEED HIM

Listening to the original version, it was more of an operatic crowd number originally.. why they dumbed it down to the point of being grating I have no clue. While this does update the arangments, the arangments aren't really BAD for the most part but this is just.. awful.

Thankfully we soon get our first planet scene and our general characterizations for our bullpen: Clark is going with the old "he's really a mask for superman" routine, with Clark having a very whiny voice i'd swear was doing a rick moranis if rick was acting at that point. God there was a time when rick moranis wasn't a thing. Such dark days. It's fine... like I said in the clash of the superheroes review, i'm not a fan of "clark is just a costume superman puts on", but this musical is going for camp. Having everyone forget Clark's even there and exagerating this dynamic to all hell works just fine.

What dosen't is Lois. Lois feels like a prop in this: she loudly goes "scoop" in a shrill voice, never realizes Clark is there and genuinely kinda sucks. She's mostly there for Clark to pine over, the villians to kidnap later and that's it. I'm so relived Crisis on Infinite earths gave us the modern lois: no nonsense, hard nosed, but with a kind nature versus "SUPERMAN MUST MARRY MEEEEEEE". It's too Amy Rose for my taste.

We get our next umber it's superman next.. and this one is also not good and once again can be blamed on the rearrangment taking away the orchestra and replacing it with.. nothing.

Thankfully we're rescued from this by the oldest of superman's foes.. the mafia! The sad part is out of superman's three big bads in this film.. it's the closest to being true. It's still not entirely true as looking into the first 10 issues or so of action comics, it's mostly shady buisness douches, corrupt wardens and other conmen, putting the comic WAY ahead of it's time, it's still entirley plausable he fought some mobster in a sterotypical suit in his early career.

So the cartoon gangsters added to this version work for me. It helps their just so fun: their over the top, goofy and fit this over the top and goofy musical like the hats they all wear. They also get the first good number of the musical, It's a Swell Country, which was made for this special but I honestly coudln't tell as it's really good and like "Mean Green Mother From Outer Space" should be added to future stage versions. IT's a fun song about how it's a "Swell country" for criminals, and will be even more swell once they take care of superman

Back at the planet, Lois interviews Abner Sedwick. Sedwick tells lois MIT has death ray and Clark overhears, becomes superman and easily takes care of it. He seems to have foiled Sedwick's grand scheme.. but it turns out having him stop the death ray was part of it.

Later in Sedwick's office he gets a solo revenge, this weird shatner style number where he sing talks a lot. And also actually sings. Sedwick however.. is the best. He talks to the audience a lot and his motivations are hilariously petty: he just abrubtly reveals why he wants to rule the world: to destroy sweden. And why? Because he keeps coming in second place for the noble prize. Ten years in a row. I honestly think at this point their doing it just to fuck with him and are doing so at their peril.

Turns out Max was there the whole time and pieced it all together.. and it also turns out he dosen't care that Sedwick is evil as he also wants to kill superman. I've seen worse meet cutes, i'll take it.

Max comes back to the office and we get what Jess perfectly described as

The Woman for the Man is a good song and works well out of context, a lot of these songs do, but my god is it uncomfortable to watch two minutes of a guy hitting on a woman who just.. is not interested while he does not get it. Reminds me of what a younger me might of become had he been a bit more of a douche and ab it less awkward and I don't care for it. Lois tells max to fuck off and he vows revenge on superman because it's superman's fault his sexual harassment no jitsu didn't work for the 80th time.

So while the cartoon mobsters decide Sedwick might be worth kidnapping because superman is gun proof, Max blows off Sydney

To go talk to sedwick who reveals his plan which is honestly, especially for something like this... really clever. Superman's too powerful to beat normally.. so their going to break him mentally.

Clark has other problems though as we get

With You've got Possiblities. The song itself.. is utterly fantatsic. I'd actually heard this one around but never knew it was from a superman musical. it's an utter classic, being hilaroiusly dismissive and Swit's super 70's version works. And unlike other rearrangments while i'll admit the original is better.. this one's still good and there's more reason to do this "update": the original is such a big song, you kinda HAVE to make it your own and Swit does.

That said the gag for the first half is that Clark isn't intrested... and Sydney won't take no for an answer. Clark DOES come around eventually.. but it's still deeply uncomfortable, even more than the max stuff as it's clear they aren't on clark's side here like they were with lois.

Clark and Sydney hook up.. and then this never really comes up again because they presumibly cut that part of the plot out for time.

So we get Sedwick's plan: he's going to put a bomb under city hall

Again it's clever: the death ray was so he could plausably throw a celebration for superman at MIT , and then blow up city hall at the same time. now he has Max, Max can slander superman in the media for missing the attack and this will destroy him mentally.

The two then sing you got what I need aka

Yeah there's no way around this Max and Sedwick are gay as hell and this musical number is gay as hell and being bi as hell I love every minute of it. Suddenly the two villians just come off like their going to make out any second from now and given their both asepects of lex luthor it works. I honestly wish they had end up together: their both egotistical, petty and hate superman. It's a great foundtaion for a relationship.

They get interuptted by the mobsters, btu Sedwick decides he wants kids after he realizes their ALSO after superman. Well henchman.. same thing really. Either way their adopting these sterotypes.

We then get back to the planet as Lois falls in love with clark because he's always there.

Yeah once again they just.. step up a subplot for time's sake. She sings a song about it. Once again it's not great. I do not know why they kept this subplot, it impacts nothing. The syndey thing really impacted nothing. This musical is somehow a LOT happneing, max and sediwick's evil plan, falling in love and adopting a family of mobsters, sydney and clark, lois and clark, sexual harassment, more sexual harassment, blowing up sweden, and also nothing of consequence happening and i'm somehow here for it.

So with clark kent happy it's naturally time for the universe to shit on him.. wait no that's peter parker. The Universe is going to take a steamer on clark's life anyway as our power couple pull off their plan, with superman at his celebration and meeting Jerry and Joe, two hippies based on Jerry Siegel and Joe Schuster, superman's creators. it's a sweet touch that only gets sweeter later, but for now the explosion happens and Sedwick's able to turn the crowd against him thorugh the power of "comic book unvierse characters can be real dicks"

Superman is now hated and clark's frustrated, while Sydney is fed up with max's crap and gies us a song. And for once.. it actually DOES feel necessary this scene is happening. Not only is max kidnapped during it but it gives payoff to sydney's crush on max

The song is the underrated "Oh Do You Love You" a REALLY fun song i'm shocked didn't blow up like you got possibilities. It's one long take that at max's ego and it is AWESOME. Loretta Swit can REALLY sing and while she got to show it off with possibiliteis she really gets to go all out here.

Max is abudcted during it as Sedwick thinks he's superman. Max asks "Husband are youf ucking high", pointing out the obvious: why would he do all this frame superman shit if he was. They figure out it's clark, they always forget about him, as did Sedwick's computer, so Sedwick heads to clarks to finish off their foe while Max has lois kidnapped.

We then get another song.. and sadly another weak one. Seriously this musical bounces between all time bangers and "please god make it stop" The Strongest Man in the World is about superman's vunerablility which SHOULD work and I like the staging of him changing into clark as he does it, but the awkward singing and

Suck the energy out of it.

Sedwick shows up and reveals he' knows who clark is. He then proceeds to psychologically break him, accusing him of pretending to be clark as a gag, being a hero to lord his power and of being a freak. This leaves superman in a super depression and thus he can't rescue lois when the mobsters kidnap her.

It's then the table turns as everybody betrays everybody. We also get another lois song and I genuinely feel terrible for Lesley Ann WarreN: Three numbers.. and all of them awful. Moving on Sediwck betrays max and then is betrayed by the mobsters who even give their king boss the award for best criminal just to make sedwick feel worse. Id ont' remember him teling them about the noble prize thing but he's also the kind of guy who strikes me like he'd bring it up every chance he got.

Superman then.. goes.. to drown himself...

Yeah just.. the fuck. I get it was the 60's/70's, these jokes were okay but it's just a weird turn. He also can't drown himelf because he has super lungs GET IT IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE CAN'T DIE BUT WANTS TO.

Thankfully this segues into the musicals best non musical scene: Joe and Jerry runn into supes again.. and upon seeing his crisis admit part of why they love him..is that he is a freak. He's not normal, he is diffrent. and that's okay. He gives hope to all the other "freaks", all the outcasts who need someone to cheer and to look out for them. He's the defender of the downtrodden

With his confidence back, superman arrives and we get the best number of the muiscal, Pow! Bam! Zonk! a gloriously cheesy number where Superman cleans house. It's a nicely silver age segment of superman giving plnety of one liners as he talks about how he's regained his sense of self and easily beats up the mobsters with some great funny bits like them shattering a blackboard over him or two using ONE MOBSTER AS A BATTERING RAM. I'ts one long fun sequence showing how awesome superman is and David WIlsons ings the hell out of it. It's cheesy, fun, and incredibly well coregraphed. A great climax.

In the end our hero triumphs, our villians have amnesia so their good now and max is good to syndey though maybe she'll consider a throuple with sediwick. DA END. Seriously it just kinda ends. Lois is back into superman, tha'ts it. Go home.

It's a Bird It's a Plane It's Superman is fun as hell. It's not super good: only a few jokes land... but it manages to be cheesy so bad it's super. It's got great numbers dotted with hilarously bad ones, goofily petty villians, wacky mafia mobsters, and a truly bonkers plot that while itnetionally so has aged to the point it's even more zany than intended. Add in a weird lack of superman, a truly awesome final number, and some goofy effects and title cards, and you have a good time. Well worth the 90 minutes. Check it out on youtube. Stick around for the commericals and thanks for reading.

#superman #it's a bird it's a plane it's superman #lois lane #clark kent #musical theatere #musicals #abc #dc comics #broadway

[davekat-sucks]

LONG RANT SORRY

I fucking hate Jack Noir so much. I hate that he basically got off scot free for literal genocide. I hate that he killed Dave’s Bro, Rose’s Mom, and John’s Dad and never once went up against all three of them because they all of a sudden decided to go up against Lord English, a guy who did NOTHING to them, and mostly fucked off killing ghosts in the dreambubbles.

I HATE how he was reduced to the status of a joke and had all intimidating traits about him brushed aside as soon as he started running away from PM. I HATE how this also culminated in all his atrocities being swept under the rug as well, so people just sort of casually forgot that this guy MURDERED EVERYBODY IN PROSPIT AND DERSE AND DESTROYED THEIR KINGDOM.

I ***HATE*** how in the ending, after killing countless swathes of people, ruining lives, destroying universes, and the like, all that happens to Jack is his arm getting cut off. I HATE how PM does nothing to him after finally depowering him, after seeing all her Exile friends getting brutally murdered save for WV WHO WOULD’VE DIED AS WELL IF NOT FOR HER USING THE VERY SAME FUCKING RING, just walks up to Jack, takes his ring and fucks off to the Forge.

I ***FUCKING HATE*** how Spades Slick is the one who gets his head chopped off in the ending. Despite being the ONLY version of Jack who’s done ANYTHING HEROIC IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING STORY, he is treated as just another enemy for Dave, Dirk, and Terezi to effortlessly mow down, because EVERYBODY KNOWS GOOD GUYS TAKE VENGEANCE UPON THOSE WHO ATTACK THEM, RIGHT?! EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT!! The worst part about Slick dying? Oh I don’t know.

Maybe the fact that Ms. Paint, his LOVER left and went to the wounded Jack, and patched up his arm. The fact that Ms. Paint confused Jack for Slick is easily forgiven here, but Jack’s face in that next panel just says it all. Jack fucking STEALS Slick’s girlfriend. And lives happily ever after. The genocidal maniac, LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

I don’t know why any of the Beta Kids won’t kill him now. He doesn’t have the ring now, sure. He isn’t a threat to them in their new universe. But why on earth would you let your family member’s killer walk free? Is it because if you kill him while he’s already struck down, you’ll be just like him? That’s bullshit. That’s absolutely fucking bullshit to the highest fucking degree. Do they not KNOW he is still alive? Maybe one of them could go, “Hey guys, remember that guy who teleported around and killed our family members and also killed us? Yeah, I wonder where he is now.”

But no. Jack, for all of his wrongdoings, never gets punished for anything. There are even people in the fandom who love him. People who say “he was being silly” when committing literal genocide, and praising him for killing Dave’s Bro. Being an omnicidal maniac, hellbent on destroying everything and everyone in your path, gets you a girlfriend and a chopped arm. That chopped arm isn’t even an inconvenience to him. Worst thing that’ll happen because of it, he won’t be able to stroke his dick. But that’s okay, he has Ms. Paint to do it for him. He has her to put her fucking tits around his dick and cum all over her face, because he was spared.

But, being a guy who teaches his baby how to swordfight and flashstep along with his ABCs, THAT’S wrong. That’s the worst crime you could ever commit, up there with shipping JohnRose or not liking Davekat. THAT’ll get you impaled to the floor as the fandom cheers your death. THAT is what modern Homestuck fans are actively rooting against.

ALL because Hussie doesn’t know how to write properly. I will NEVER enjoy the Homestuck ending, not only because it was rushed, and left more plotholes than a wheel of Swiss cheese, but because it has the GALL to actually call itself an ending, when its arguably main villain gets away with everything.

I just wanted John or Rose or Dave or Jade or ALL FOUR OF THEM TO FUCKING BEAT JACK NOIR TO DEATH, UNTIL HE IS NOTHING MORE THAN RED MUSH ON THE FLOOR. WAS THAT TOO HARD TO WRITE?! AT NO POINT IN THE COMIC DID ALL FOUR OF THEM UNITE TO KILL JACK, OR DO ANYTHING TO HIM. DESPITE CALLING THEM FRIENDS THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING TOGETHER. JUST THIS ONCE YOU COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING AND GIVEN THEM SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR!!!

But no. That’s too much to ask.

Go to fucking hell, Hussie.

Doesn't help that people think Jack Noir and Spade Slick are one in the same, despite it is clearly shown that SS from the Problem Sleuth universe is different from Jack Noir that served under Derse. I thought it would be obvious when we see ANOTHER JACK during the Alpha session. It's the same confusion like people thinking John hugging Dad Crocker is okay because he is another version of Dad Egbert that didn't die, but it's not really the same guy, even from an alternate timeline. I never got why PM nor any of the Beta Kids would go kill Jack either after all was said and done with the game. Is it in fear of making Miss Paint upset despite she meets a different guy that HAPPENS to look like Spade Slick? I doubt the plothole will be explained in Homestuck^2. No way that whoever is left on WhatPumpkin is smart enough to address that. I would think even KARKAT would want to confront Jack since he was the one that was close to him and met him at the start of Sgrub. Does Karkat felt betrayed by Jack after he showed off his mutant blood? Is he ever angry that he was the one who caused the trolls' dream selves to die, making it impossible for him to get his other friends back? If Karkat knew Jack was alive, how would he react? Would he kill him? Make sure he doesn't stab anyone else? None of that gets brought up either and it sucks remembering as well that it was also TEREZI who tried to warn Karkat that Jack Noir was not to be trusted, but he went through anyway. Does Karkat felt bad for not trusting his crush/his own kind all because of his insecurities? Everything that you said hits the mark about Jack Noir and Andrew Hussie's shitty writing.

#Jack Noir #Spade Slick #Spades Slick #Homestuck #Andrew Hussie #WhatPumpkin #What Pumpkin #Karkat Vantas #Beta Kids #Peregrine Mendicant

[spoilertv]

#SpoilerTV

[billdecker]

I’ve spent nine months perfecting my 40th birthday party playlist and I think I have it. It’s split up into kinda eras/musical obsessions of my life and songs that mean a lot to me/remind me of people no longer in my life, so here we are...

Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes

I Predict a Riot - Kaiser Chiefs

Apply Some Pressure - Maximo Park

Banquet - Bloc Party

Michael - Franz Ferdinand

Mirror Kissers - The Cribs

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

Somebody Told Me - The Killers

Fell In Love With a Girl - The White Stripes

One Step Beyond - Madness

The Sound of the Suburbs - The Members

Jilted John - Jilted John

Anarchy in the UK - Sex Pistols

Teenage Kicks - The Undertones

Ever Fallen in Love - Buzzcocks

Going Underground - The Jam

Rock the Casbah - The Clash

Once in a Lifetime - Talking Heads

It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way - The Blow Monkeys

Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears

The Look of Love - ABC

Wishing I Was Lucky - Wet Wet Wet

Breakout - Swing Out Sister

Yes Sir, I Can Boogie - Baccara

Dancing Queen - ABBA

Best of My Love - The Emotions

Got To Be Real - Cherly Lynn

Never Too Much - Luther Vandross

Boogie Wonderland - Earth, Wind & Fire

You To Me Are Everything - The Real Thing

The Snake - Al Wilson

Move On Up - Curtis Mayfield

Land of 1000 Dances - Wilson Pickett

Do I Love You - Frank Wilson

Get Ready - The Temptations

Reach Out, I’ll Be There - Four Tops

My Girl - The Temptations

I Can’t Help Myself - Four Tops

This Old Heart of Mine - The Isley Brothers

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough - Diana Ross

I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston

Respectable - Mel & Kim

London Nights - London Boys

When Will I Be Famous? - Bros

Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

You’ll Never Step Me From Loving You - Sonia

Too Many Broken Hearts - Jason Donovan

Love in the First Degree - Bananarama

Venus - Bananarama

One For Sorrow - Steps

All That She Wants - Ace of Base

Love to Hate You - Erasure

Love Shack - The B-52′s

Sweat (A La La La La Song) - Inner Circle

Baby I Love Your Way - Big Mountain

Shine - Aswad

Would I Lie To You? - Charlie & Eddie

Return of the Mack - Mark Morrison

Save Our Love - Eternal

Stay - Eternal

Naked - Louise

Maybe - Emma Bunton

Mi Chico Latino - Geri Halliwell

I Turn To You - Melanie C

Out of Your Mind - True Steppers, Dane Bowers, Victoria Beckham

I Want You Back - Mel B, Missy Elliott

Re-Rewind - Artful Dodger, Craig David

Scandalous - Mis-Teeq

Flowers - Sweet Female Attitude

I Know Where It’s At - All Saints

Never Ever - All Saints

Stay - Lisa Loeb

I Quit - Hepburn

Drop Dead Gorgeous - Republica

Trouble - Shampoo

Bitch - Meredith Brooks

You Oughta Know - Alanis Morissette

Celebrity Skin - Hole

Weak - Skunk Anansie

Don’t Speak - No Doubt

Torn - Natalie Imbruglia

I Want It That Way - Backstreet Boys

Crazy For You - Let Loose

Love Me For a Reason - Boyzone

Keep On Movin - Five

Be the First to Believe - A1

Love Here I Come - Bad Boys Inc

I’m a Man, Not a Boy - North & South

House of Love - East 17

Let’s Get Ready to Rhumble - PJ & Duncan

If I Give You My Number - PJ & Duncan

I Should Be So Lucky - Kylie Minogue

Never Too Late

Step Back in Time

Better the Devil You Know

Spinning Around

Can’t Get Blue Monday Out of My Head - Kylie, New Order

Girls & Boys - Blur

Connection - Elastica

Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana

Creep - Radiohead

Song 2 - Blur

Your Woman - White Town

Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve

Change - Lightning Seeds

Trash - Suede

A Girl Like You - Edwyn Collins

Disco 2000 - Pulp

Common People - Pulp

Country House - Blur

Mulder and Scully - Catatonia

World in Motion - New Order

Three Lions - Baddiel, Skinner & The Lightning Seeds

Wannabe - Spice Girls

Say You’ll Be There

Who Do You Think You Are?

Spice Up You Life

Stop

Old Before I Die - Robbie Williams

Rock DJ

Millennium

No Regrets

Angels

Babe - Take That

Once You’ve Tasted Love

It Only Takes a Minute

I Found Heaven

Could It Be Magic

Everything Changes

Pray

Relight My Fire

Two Can Play That Game - Bobby Brown

I Luv U Baby - The Original

Don’t Give Me Your Life - Alex Party

Never Let Her Slip Away - Undercover

When I’m Good and Ready - Sybil

Ride on Time - Black Box

The Rhythm of the Night - Corona

No Limit - 2 Unlimited

Get A Way - Maxx

The Key The Secret - Urban Cookie Collective

U Sure Do - Strike

I Breathe Again - Adam Rickitt

Spaceman - Babylon Zoo

Red Alert - Basement Jaxx

Feel It - The Tamperer, Maya

Freed From Desire - Gala

Mr Vain - Culture beat

What Is Love? - Haddaway

Gypsy Woman - Crystal Waters

Finally - CeCe Peniston

Free - Ultra Nate

Dreamer - Livin Joy

Let Me Be Your Fantasy - Baby D

I’m Alive - Stretch n Vern

Set You Free - N-Trance

disco tits - Tove Lo

Coconuts - Kim Petras

Outside - George Michael

It’s a Sin - Pet Shop Boys

Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood

Gimme Gimme Gimme - ABBA

Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler

Let’s Dance - David Bowie

Temptation - Heaven 17

Gold - Spandau Ballet

Karma Chameleon - Culture Club

Club Tropicana - Wham

I’m Still Standing - Elton John

Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

Young at Heart - The Bluebells

Come On Eileen - Dexys Midnight Runners

I Could Be So Good For You - Dennis Waterman

Amarillo - Tony Christie

Delilah - Tom Jones

The Best - Tina Turner

All Around the World - Lisa Stansfield

The Time of My Life - Billy Medley, Jennifer Warnes

Especially For You - Kylie, Jason

Perfect Moment - Martine McCutcheon

Chains - Tina Arena

A Design For Life - Manic Street Preachers

Yes - McAlmont & Butler

I Do This All The Time - Self Esteem

Zombie - The Cranberries

This Charming Man - The Smiths

Paranoid Android - Radiohead

The Wonder of You - Elvis Presley

Don’t Look Back in Anger - Oasis

Baby I Love You - The Ramones

#it runs at 12hr 15mins lol #it was over 14hrs #i typed this up bc i'm feeling anxious for some reason and #needed something to do #i say a party there will be 3 people here #my husband my sister and my bff

[the-haunted-office]

The Offices

The Haunted Office

The Haunted Office is what everyone calls the office where the bulk of my muses live. Appropriately named, it not only is currently home to multiple ghosts and several extraterrestrials, it is also sentient and goes by the name of Dorian. It furthermore used to be possessed by an extraterrestrial parasitic mist called the Dampening and has a shady habit of “kidnapping” people and beings from other dimensions. While it is no longer possessed, it does still have a tendency to attract paranormal and supernatural forces.

Once upon a time it was known as ABC Corporation, a business running under the guise of coordinating shipping logistics. What it was really doing was performing illicit psychological experiments on its employees. The business one day vanished to the outside world when Cyrus and Aurora concealed it, trapped the Dampening within it, and stuffed it into a black hole, thus preventing the mist from escaping and thus dooming the employees in the process.

The Dampening is dead now and the Office has been returned to the outside world. Everything outside is different than it was before, but at least the Haunted Office residents were able to take down the sky ads and help free most of the slasher zombies who were wandering around outside. The space mansions are still orbiting the Earth, but one day they hope to take those down as well.

In any case, folks often find themselves in the Haunted Office due to its tendency to "kidnap" them from their dimensions. It has an equal tendency of throwing its own residents into other dimensions. This all accounts for crossovers. Office residents do their best to help others feel at home as well as help others find their way back home, but beware - some of the spooks and kooks around the Office are kinda bored and like to scare visitors for fun.

Office Zero

Office Zero is the first office that the original Cyrus and Thursday came from. It suffered very much the same fate as the Haunted Office, only things came out much differently for the Narrators.

The most important, most major difference between Office Zero and the Haunted Office, is that Office Zero never connected with other offices. Neither the Narrators nor Stanley ever met any others outside of each other.

In this office’s timeline, Cyrus, Thursday, Stanley, and the office were all possessed by the Dampening mist. When the mist killed Stanley and consumed his soul, the Narrators were left with only each other to narrate stories for. They would take turns narrating for each other, although this caused even more tension because not only were they grieving for their Stanley, not only were they still at odds with each other, but also because of their wildly different narrating styles. Cyrus wanted to keep retelling Stanley’s story; Thursday wanted to tell new ones.

Eventually the mist burned through all the souls it had consumed, forcing it to kill the Narrators to feed on them. However, Cyrus was revived and saved by his sister Aurora, while Thursday was left to die. Immediately upon her death, her soul was consumed by the mist and hastily broken down, whereupon the mist starved to death and Thursday became the Reaper known today as Doomsday.

The whereabouts of Office Zero’s Cyrus and Aurora are currently unknown.

That Office

That Office is the office Thisday hails from. The Office from this timeline, while still owned by ABC Corporation, did not fall victim to the Dampening mist.

In That Office, everybody's roles are swapped.

Instead of Stanley being the Protagonist, he took 432′s place, although his number is still 427. He was mind controlled to sharpen pencils but was given no pencil sharpeners to complete his task, rather than being given no pencils like in other timelines.

Thisday - known as Thursday, employee 217, in That Office - is the Protagonist.

The Narrators’ roles are filled by (That) Aurora and (That) Mariella.

And (That) Cyrus is the Curator.

Their Office was isolated from outsiders, and only made contact with another Office for the first time when Thisday was "taken" from his Office by the Haunted Office. Now the two Offices have formed a friendship and work closely together.

The Ruined Office

...is actually one of many just like it.

More to be announced as the plot involving it unfolds!

Office.

One of the very first iterations of the Offices, it is identical to the Haunted Office in nearly every way, except that it has not connected with any of the other Offices. It is entirely isolated. It was also fitted with a beacon, which attracted an outsider into the Office when Stanley died. This person’s original name is a mystery, but the Narrators first called them Character before renaming them Rodney. They then became their new Protagonist and was given a new office - 427b. Rodney is owned by @fullstop-roleplays.

The Narrators are very different from the Cyrus and Thursday from the Haunted Office. They are how they would have been had they never met others from other Offices. They are manipulative and focused almost entirely on narrating. The Story is the most important thing to them. However they do adore Rodney. They treat him like a most precious creature.

Office UD8

This is the office Stanley Johnson and Arthur Wright are from.

UD8 was created by Arthur specifically for Stanley in order to keep him close and to keep him happy. After accidentally causing his death, Arthur knew that Stanley could not return to his normal life, so after reviving him he created the Office for him along with the Story and an entire "life" for him.

And Stanley... was happy. Wasn't he?

#the haunted office #office zero #that office #office. #the ruined office #office ud8

[aaternum]

dash games / songs that remind you of your muse

Kiki's song by Mree

But I'm wild, I am free Like a fire in the dark, I am turning the key And in time, I will see I have everything I want, I have all that I need

Early Grave by The Contortionist

I know it feels like you're drowning these days I know you feel like you can't be saved And my only hope is that you choose to stay

The World by TeZaTalks

When the meaning is in life Where's the humane in all Human human Please don't lose what makes us Human human It's okay to say your Human human

Gold Gun Girls by Metric

I remember when we were gambling to win Everybody else said, "Better luck next time." I just wanna be your friend Why you givin' me a hard time? Is it ever gonna be enough?

honorable mentions: d*ckhard/rockstar by critter, ABC by polyphia, battle my love by circa survive, and cut by sweet pill

tagged by: @tvrningout (thank you so much! <3) tagging: whoever wants to! i love seeing song inspo/recommendations i've definitely seen others do this i'm probably just late to the party.

#━━ Ⅻ ⊰ dash commentary / ♡ ❜ #LMAO this is such a random list jwdsjvdkj but honestly my song inspo changes a lot #which is why i just have a spotify playlist for it all

[devilsrecreation]

Villain AU part 2

All the Sesame Street characters are superheroes in training (they’re too good to be evil)

Joe, in addition to being his corrupted lawyer, is Sam’s feral henchman

Johnny’s gangsters are the other characters from Muppets Tonight (sans Pepe and Rizzo), most notably Big Mean Carl

Rizzo and the other rats like Yolanda and Bubba part of a gang who mainly participate in a lot of street crime

All the muppet monsters like Carl, Sweetums, Gene, Doglion, etc. are used as weapons by other muppets

The muppirates are still pirates, but they’re more evil and have supervillain powers and weapons

Penny AKA “Old Spice” lives up to her name, using fire and spicy foods to commit crimes. She breathes fire using buffalo wings and uses paquito chips as throwing stars. She also has a huge buffalo wing she uses as a bat. Her design is a fiery orange and red dress with a belt of spicy foods (like every spicy food you can think of) and her hair is shaped like horns

-Rowlf and Old Spice hate Villain Teeth btw

Mahna Mahna (AKA The Phantom Menace) and the Snowths are the more intimidating villains. Very unpredictable, very dangerous, and worst of all…he can teleport. One moment he’s there, gone the next. But he always leaves one thing behind: A card that has “Mahna Mahna” written on it

Beauregard is another less threatening villain called “The Janitor”. You can guess why lmao

Allegra is an assassin summoned by Gonzo and Pepe while working together and now works with various muppets (whoever hires her). She’s still a music demon, which makes her more dangerous

My muppetsona (who goes by various nicknames) is Fozzie’s henchwoman. She does all the typical henchman stuff, but she’s got a special trick up her sleeve: her one and only pet plant, Twoey (who’s more or less the same, maybe a lil more demanding). The nickname she goes by changes each day and it confuses everybody

The nicknames:

N/Miss N

Freak

Melle Licious

Firedagger

Faye Tality

Miss Fortune

The other muppets are just petty criminals

Constantine is the prison warden

The Newsman stays the same

About the Sesame Street Superheros:

Only the kids are the superheros in training. The adults are all professors at the ABC Superhero Academy

Super Grover is the principal (and maybe an apprentice to Eric)

Oscar teaches the kids how to deal with the villains and use their superpowers against them (each child has their own unique power)

Ernie and Bert teach them communication skills like how to work together with another hero to save the day

The human actors on SS teach kids how to keep their identities hidden from the public, use their powers for other things, and how to generally be a good person (as Sesame Street does)

The Count is a reformed villain that teaches history on heroes and villains. His power other than being a vampire is summoning numbers from thin air and using them to trap a villain

Cookie Monster….is the lunch monster….but he’s also a very helpful and useful TA

#i dunno what hero nicknames the puppeteers would have but they would have them #i love this au sm #villain au #the muppets

[shieldagent93]

Agents of SHIELD and The Owl House both have

Badass mentor/mother figures played by legends 

Melinda May portrayed by Ming-Na Wen

Eda Clawthorne played by Wendie Malick

Mentors reconnecting with exes in the second season that they previously broke up with because they wouldn’t open up about stuff

May with Andrew about Bahrain

Eda with Raine about her curse

A main character learning and coming to terms with their true identity in the second season 

Daisy being an Inhuman

King being a Titan

A mentor/student fight nearing the end of their second seasons due to misunderstandings 

Daisy vs. May because of Jiaying’s frame job on SHIELD

Luz vs. Eda because of Eda planning to send her away and lying about having a plan

A main character/parent figure losing an arm in the season two finale at the hands of an ally to save their lives

Mack chopped off Coulson’s arm with an axe to stop him from turning to stone

Raine broke Eda’s off to stop the draining spell from killing her

Ancient threats thought to have been long gone 

HYDRA

Witch hunters

Big bads trapped in other realms long before their show started 

Hive to Maveth by ancient inhumans

The Collector to the In-Between Realm by the Boiling Isles Titan

Bad to bigger bad to biggest bad

Ward to Gideon Malick to Hive (in S3, for HYDRA related big bads)

Lilith (though redeemed now) to Belos to the Collector

Big bads with their culty worshippers

Hive with Gideon Malick’s faction of HYDRA

The Collector with the Titan Trappers

An “older” pairing that are a badass duo with decades worth of history

Coulson and May

Eda and Raine

Everybody in dire need of therapy cause the trauma just keeps piling on

Intricate storywriting tying together stuff from even the earliest episodes way later in the show

A strong focus on found family

Been great Disney shows (ABC is owned by Disney) that were treated like shit by their networks

In conclusion, I love both shows and strongly recommend to anyone who has only seen one to check out the other.

#the owl house #agents of shield #aos #melinda may #edalyn clawthorne #eda the owl mom #daisy johnson #luz noceda #phil coulson #alphonso mackenzie #raine whispers #andrew garner #hive #the collector #gideon malick #parallels

[anime-dub-transcripts]

Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan Episode #1: Uramichi-Oniisan Transcript

This episode has the introduction of the cast members.

{Text on sign: Together with Maman}

Children: Together with Maman!

Uramichi: Hey, everybody! I’m Uramichi-oniisan! 

(Oniisan: An honorific used to refer to your older brother. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: Think of me as your big bro!

Children: Konnichiwa!

(Director: Mm-hm!)

(Konnichiwa!: Hello! → Japanese)

Uramichi: I hope you’re excited ‘cause we’ve got some fun activities planned! Now then, everyone gather around me, okay? 

Children: Hahaha…

Uramichi: That’s right, hop to! Keep it moving! Good job! Hey, you too, buddy! Come on, don’t make this harder than it has to be!

(Children: …hahaha! Yay! I love this! My name is…hahaha!) 

Uramichi: Mm-hm! 

Uramichi [hoarse]: Now, let’s start today’s episode of Together with Maman! 

Girl #1: Why does your voice sound like that?

Uramichi [hoarse]: Don’t worry; it’s just from all my hard drinking.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uramichi: Let’s see some hands! Which of you kids are just bursting with energy today?

Children: ME!

Uramichi: Cool! And who’s just feeling okay?

Children: ME!

Uramichi: Who’s in pain, fatigued, frayed like a dog’s favorite toy? Me…

Children: Awauh…

Uramichi: Interesting. Just me, huh? Well, well.

Girl #2: Emph! Emph! Emph!

Uramichi: Hm?

Girl #2: Emph! Emph emph!

{Caption: Whop, whop, whop…}

Girl #2: Emph emph! Emph!

Uramichi: Well, hello, Yuka-chan! 

(Chan: An honorific used to refer to children, pets, close friends, and generally cute things)

Uramichi: What’s with the surprise attack? Wanna chat?

Yuka: I was just casting a spell to help you feel better, onii-san!

(Onii-san: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: That’s nice. You know what? Yuka-chan just inspired me to cast a special spell on all of you!  

(Chan: An honorific used to refer to children, pets, close friends, and generally cute things)

Children: What kind of spell, onii?

(Onii: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: It’s a spell of preservation. With any luck, it’ll save you kids from ending up like me in twenty years.  

Cue card guy: Okay, cut! Let’s take a quick break. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Children: Uramichi-oniisan!

{Caption: Uramichi-oniisan}

(Onii-san: An honorific used to refer to your older brother. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Children: Hehehehe!

{Text on card #1: Break}

Children: Woah!

{Text on card #2: ABC Exercise}

Children: Over here! Over here! Haha!

Uramichi: Hi! Welcome back, kids! We should sing The ABC Song right now…

Children: Wuah…

Uramichi: …but there’s been a little change of plans. 

{Text on card: ABC Exercise}

Uramichi: I’ve decided to teach you The Uramichi Song instead! It’s a fun little protest song. I wrote the music and lyrics all by myself!

Children: Uh…

Uramichi: Let’s not worry about coming up with a new exercise for it. Just follow my lead and we’ll fill it out as we go!

Boy #1: Wait, so why aren’t we gonna do The ABC Song today?

Girl #3: I don’t wanna do another song.

Uramichi: Because (gunshot) RAC needs to know that I’m pissed off. JAS (gunshot) is like an octopus that loves sweet treats, who sticks his gross tentacles into other people’s cookie jars, and with his mouth full, says, “You’re welcome, bud; I made sure no one else would eat your cookies. Aren’t you glad I have a monopoly on the copyright collection business?”

(Censored names: Both times, Uramichi is referring to JASRAC, Japanese Society for Rights of Authors, Composers and Publishers, the organization that runs copyright in Japan)

Uramichi: Everyone ready? ‘Kay, let’s go!

(Children: Hehehehe! Yeah! Yay!)

Uramichi: 🎵The “U” in “Uramichi”...🎵

Children: 🎵…used for feeling unfulfilled!🎵

Uramichi: Yeah, but what about the “ra”?

Children: 🎵Rather just do nothing!🎵

Uramichi: You know me well! Now what about the “mi”?

Children: 🎵”Mi” is for misery!🎵

Uramichi: And “chi”!

Children: 🎵”Chi” is for the chill in my soul!🎵 

Director: Mm-hm!

Uramichi: Excellent work! That was super impressive, kids, seriously! As boring as that was for you tykes, you still managed to feign interest! Keep honing that skill ‘cause when you grow up and enter the workforce, you’re gonna need it.  

Girl #4: Hey, Uramichi-oniisan, what does “enter the workforce” even mean?

(Onii-san: An honorific used to refer to your older brother. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: It’s a crossroads, a point at which society expects you to make big choices that’ll dictate the rest of your life. 

Girl #4: Oh, yeah?

Uramichi: You’ll be mocked, rejected, and shot down, not only when you’re hunting for a job, but for half your adult life. Just keep your chin up, and never lose sight of who you are, understand? Keep a list of the people who’ve wronged you and never forget that Oniisan’s favorite little siblings are the ones who can throw a good sucker punch.  

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Children: Uah…

Cue card guy: Okay, cut! We’re movin’ on! 

Uramichi: I’ll see you next time!

Children: Bye bye!

(Child: See you later!)

Cue card guy: ‘Kay, so we’re bringing in a different set of kids for the next segment. Feel free to rest up while we prep ‘em, cool?

Uramichi: Sure!

Director: You’re doin’ great, Uramichi. Just keep it up.

Uramichi: Thanks a million; I sure will!

{Text on poster: Together with Maman}

Girl #5: Uah? Ah!

Woman: Huh?

Girl #5: It’s Uramichi-oniisan!

{Caption: Quick change}

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Girl #5: Are you going home too, big brother?

Uramichi: No, I’m just taking a break right now!

{Text on sign: Room 7}

Girl #5: How come?

Uramichi: You know how you don’t feel like playing if you can’t get your rested naptime? Well, if my facial muscles can’t rest, they’ll start twitching ‘til they die. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Children: Uramichi-oniisan!

{Caption: Uramichi-oniisan}

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Children: Hehehehehe, yay!

Uramichi: Hi! Let’s start today’s episode of Together with Maman! Oh, but before all that…

(Children: It’s really you! Wow! Hehehe! Yeah! Hehehehe!)

{Text on cue card: Miki-chan has a question for Oniisan}

(Chan: An honorific used to refer to children, pets, close friends, and generally cute things)

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: I’ve been told that little Miki-chan wants to ask me a question!

(Chan: An honorific used to refer to children, pets, close friends, and generally cute things)

Uramichi: What could it be? Go on, ask away!

Miki: Um, how old are you, oniisan?

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: A little over 31!

Miki: Really? My dad’s 29, so that means you’re a lot older than him, right? Isn’t it a little weird that you haven’t gotten married or become a daddy in all that time? 

Uramichi: Cut me some slack, would ya? Okay, sure, learning moment. No person’s life will be quite like any other’s! So just ‘cause a guy tends to spend his evenings alone at home downing cheap sake and watching unfunny sitcoms doesn’t mean he’s some kind of depressed misfit. Words can kill people, so keep your judgy thoughts to yourself.   

Miki: Sorry, but I don’t really understand what you’re talking about. 

Uramichi: Neither do I. I’m falling apart…

Boy #2: Waaawawa! 

(Uramichi: Huh?)

Uramichi: It’s Tamaki-kun, right? Did you trip and fall? That must hurt, huh? Okay! 

(Tamaki: Wawawaaaawah! Wahaaawawawa! Weuam…eaum…)

(Kun: An honorific used mainly for boys, as well as seniors referring to their juniors)

Uramichi: Let’s get your mind off it, pal!

Tamaki: Auh?

Uramichi: What happened to my smile and my will to live? Where are they now? Gone. When you grow up, you’ll have to make yourself stop crying. 

(Tamaki: Ehueh, ehueh…)

Uramichi: Act too sad and the people you love will pry you off like a tick.  

{Text on cue card: Call Usao and Kumao}

Uramichi: Now, let’s call in our friends, Usao-kun the bunny and Kumao-kun the bear! And go!   

(Kun: An honorific used mainly for boys, as well as seniors referring to their juniors)

Children, Uramichi: Usao-kun! Kumao-kun!

(Kun: An honorific used mainly for boys, as well as seniors referring to their juniors)

{Caption: Silence…}

Uramichi: Huh, well, that’s odd. Maybe they aren’t as good at Japanese as us. Let’s call for them in English, okay? And go!

Children, Uramichi: Mr. Bunny! Mr. Bear! 

{Caption: Silence}

Uramichi: Still no sign of those two! What’s the deal? I guess we just weren’t loud enough that time! Let’s give it one more try! And go! Mr. Bun---cough! Cough!

Child: Are you okay, oniisan? 

(Uramichi: Cough cough!)

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Child: Is it the drinking?

(Uramichi: Cough cough cough cough!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Text on sign #1: Green Rooms for Cast}

{Text on sign #2: Green Room for Uramichi Omota-sama}

(Sama: An honorific used to denote someone of higher status. Usually used to refer to customers or divine entities)

Usahara, Kumatani: Euh… 

Uramichi: I said to start coming out the second time we call.

Usahara: But, uh, the script says we should come out the third time you call. 

Uramichi: Scripts come and go, but I’ve only got one throat.  

Narrator: Uramichi Omota, 31 years old. Single. He works as a gymnast oniisan.

{Caption: Uramichi Omota (31). Single. He’s a gymnast oniisan}

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Narrator: As an award-winning gymnast with a degree in physical education, his body is extremely stable and balanced, especially when compared to his emotional state.  

Uramichi: As of late, whenever I raise my voice, I kinda…feel something get torn away.  

Usahara: What’s that?

Uramichi: My soul.

Usahara: Eheuh…

Kumatani’s thoughts: I don’t get it. Why does he still work here?

Usahara: Uramichi, you were a hero at Sports Science University. As your juniors, we both looked up to you. But now…well, remember what Professor Anzai told us? “If you give up early, the game will be over before it starts!”

Uramichi: Hm! But it turns out there are some games that go on long after you’ve given up. Like the game we call life. 

Usahara, Kumatani: Euah…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cue card guy: That’s a wrap for the day! Way to go, everyone! Good hustle!

Director: Where’s our star? He comin’ out tonight?

Usahara: Tch, doubt it. He’s already gone home.

Director: Yeah. He does tend to be the first one gone, huh?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Text on sign: Shibuya City Smoking Rules}

Uramichi: Huah!

Uramichi’s thoughts [directed to the audience]: You could call me two-faced…but every adult has a hidden side. Don’t rat me out. Just pretend you didn’t see…okay, kids?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alarm clock: Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep!

{Text on clock: Wednesday, 7:32 AM}

Uramichi: Unh, ueh…neauh…

Uramichi’s thoughts: Why? Why does the sun keep rising?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uramichi: Well, I don’t know about you, but I am raring for some ABC calisthenics!

Boy #3: Why not the (zhoop) RAC song? Are you not fighting them anymore?

(Censored name: The boy is referring to JASRAC, Japanese Society for Rights of Authors, Composers and Publishers, the organization that runs copyright in Japan)

Uramichi: That wasn’t a fight; it was a reckless provocation! Did I abandon my principles overnight? Yes, because that’s what grown-ups do when they’re weak. 

Boy #3: Okay. 

Uramichi: Good, good! Now gather ‘round, everybody!

Girl #6: Is that your real voice, oniisan?

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: Are you asking me if I have to force myself to sound this relentlessly cheerful? No way; I’m happy!

Boy #4: Hehehehe!

Uramichi: That wasn’t a joke, you little goober!

Girl #7: Hey, oniisan, did something good happen to you today?

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: Of course not!

Boy #4 [imitating Uramichi]: “Of course not!”

Uramichi: Also not a joke!

(Boy #4: Hehehehehe!)

Girl #7: But if nothing good happened to you, then why are you smiling so big?

Uramichi: It’s precisely because I have nothing else going for me that I need to smile! 

Girl #7: Oh…

Uramichi: Behind my smile is the knowledge that after this shoot, I’ll retire to a lifeless, empty home where I’ll sit and numbly wonder why playing with you kids is the only thing that makes me feel alive. The last part was a joke!   

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uramichi: I may be alone, but I don’t think that makes me some kind of antisocial creep who’s failing in life. Why, I often meet weird men in bars much older than me who theorized that a lifelong bachelor is the happiest thing a man can be. In other words, it doesn’t matter if you have a partner. You aren’t actually a loser until you let yourself feel lonely. 

(Children: Hehehehe! Wahaha! Hehehehe! Sorry! Hehehe! Why? Stop it! Hehehe! Come get me! Back, back!)

Uramichi: Like when you apply some sports tape to your own back and accidentally scrunch it, and stare at your own dead-fish eyes for hours. That’s the kind of moment when loneliness can knock you out cold.

Girl #7: Did that happen?

Uramichi: Mmhm! My life is KO after KO, with no ref to stop the fight. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uramichi: Uramichi-oniisan.

{Caption: Uramichi-oniisan}

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: Well, you ready? Come on, kids, let’s call Usao-kun the bunny and Kumao-kun the bear! And go!

(Kun: An honorific used mainly for boys, as well as seniors referring to their juniors)

Kumatani: What do we do? Go out sooner?

(Children, Uramichi: Usao-kun!)

Children, Uramichi: Kumao-kun!

Kumatani: If we wait too long, he’s gonna get mad again.

Usahara: Hm…I’m a pro, dang it! And I won’t be threatened into ignoring the script! 

Kumatani: Usahara…

Scary chorus: Ah!

Usahara, Kumatani: Euah? 

{Caption: Smile}

Usahara: We’re coming! We’ll be right out! I’m sorry!

Uramichi: Hey, kids! Our friends Mr. Bunny and Mr. Bear say they wanna play a game with you! Is that okay?

Children: Yeah, I’d love a game!

Uramichi: Wow, you sure are lucky these kids are so nice, Mr. Bunny! Don’t ‘cha think?

Usahara: Dueah…

Uramichi: What kind of game do you wanna play, buddy?

Usahara: I…

Usahara [higher pitched]: I want to play something fun and exciting, hip-hop!

Uramichi: Hmhm! In that case, I’ve got just the perfect thing! Seems to me that you and these little rascals should play tag! Bunnies are real fast, so if you wanna catch him, you’ll have to be relentless!  

Children: YEAH!

Usahara [higher-pitched]: I can’t wait, hip-hop!

Uramichi: And every time they catch you, you’ll do something funny for them, right? Okay, kids, go crazy! 

Children: Yay! Ahahahahahaha!

(Director: Mmhm!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cue card guy: Great hustle, guys! 

Usahara: URAMICHIIII!

{Text on sign: Green Room for Uramichi Omota-sama}

(Sama: An honorific used to denote someone of higher status. Usually used to refer to customers or divine entities)

Usahara: I know we’re your juniors, but you gotta stop hazin’ us!

Uramichi: That’s just how I communicate!

Usahara: WELL, YOUR METHOD OF COMMUNICATION IS DYSFUNCTIONAL!

Uramichi: Goodness, Usahara. You’re the one who’s always saying you wanna get funny.

Usahara: I have never said that!

Uramichi: I was just helping you practice.

Usahara: Never said it! Not once!  

Uramichi: You say it whenever you get drunk, silly! You think it’ll make you popular with girls.

Usahara: He’s lying, right?

Kumatani: No, you say that a lot.

Usahara: No way…

Uramichi: Why not take off your costume? Isn’t it hot?

Usahara: Huh? Oh, um…

Kumatani: He says he doesn’t like to talk to you face-to-face without getting drunk first ‘cause your eyes are…

Kumatani [slow and very low-pitched]: …so…scary…

Usahara: The hell, bro?! How can you stab me in the back like it’s NOTHING?! 

Kumatani [choking]: We were never allies. 

Usahara: This is ridiculous! You kept your mask on for the same reason! AUAH! It’s his deadpan face! THAT’S THE WORST ONE! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Text on sign #1: Mud Boat}

{Text on sign #2: Izakaya - Beer}

(Izakaya: A place for evening drinking, similar to a tavern or pub)

Usahara: Ugh…Uramichi…just give me a hint. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, HUH?! 

Narrator: Tobikichi Usahara, 28 years old. This man behind the bunny suit was Uramichi’s kohai, or junior, in college. He still uses a piggy bank. It is frequently empty.

{Caption: Tobikichi Usahara (28). Physical education college graduate. Uramichi’s kohai. Plays Usao. He’s always broke and his idea of “saving” is putting money in a piggy bank}

(Kohai: A term used for a student or colleague who is younger than you)

Usahara: Come on, tell me…blaeurgh!

Kumatani: Hey, uh, waiter? Can we get a couple hot sakes?

Narrator: Mitsuo Kumatani, 28 years old. Graduated from the same college as Usahara and Uramichi. He’s actually quite observant, but he isn’t the type to put his perceptiveness to use. He wears the bear suit.

{Caption: Mitsuo Kumatani (28). Physical education college graduate. Uramichi’s kohai. Plays Kumao. The type who doesn’t make use of his broader views}

Kumatani: And a couple sake cups, please. 

Usahara: If I was funny, I’d get all the girls.

Uramichi: He needs some water.

Kumatani: Bring us a big glass of water too, please. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Usahara: Snooorrreeee…

{Caption: Uramichi-oniisan}

{Text on sign: Together with Maman}

Utano: Thanks for joining us today! 

(Children: Oh! Hehehe, wow!)

Iketeru: We’ll see you kids next time, so take care until then!

(Children: Hehehe! Woah! Bye!) 

Utano: We hope you had fun! If you enjoy the show, then keep tuning in!

(Children: Goodbye, goodbye! Woah! Woah woah woah! Let’s do it!)

Iketeru: Bye bye!

(Children: Hehe!)

Utano: Bye bye!

(Children: Hehe!) 

Child: Bye bye!

Cue card guy: Okay, cut! Great stuff, guys! Another good hustle!

(Children: Bye! No way! Hahaha!)

Iketeru, Utano: Euehm…

Narrator: Iketeru Daga, 27 years old. A singer oniisan. He used to act in musical theater and is a very talented singer with a strong, deep, and objectively beautiful voice.

{Caption: Iketeru Daga (27). He’s a singer oniisan. He used to be a musical actor and is a very talented singer with a strong, deep, and pretty voice}

(Oniisan: Big brother → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Narrator: He has the looks of a blueblood and the mind of a pig. He loves crass, dirty jokes, and he’s incapable of reading a room or catching a hint. 

Iketeru: Huah…so, what time is it?

Utano: Is that just a bracelet to you? 

Narrator: He also has a difficult time with analog clocks.

Utano: Ouh…

Narrator: Utano Tadano, 32 years old. A singer oneesan. She graduated from a prestigious music school and then proceeded to fail, first as a pop idol, then as a singer of traditional enka ballads, and finally as a nightclub jazz singer. Now she’s here. 

{Caption: Utano Tadano (32). She’s a singer oneesan. Her unique experience after graduating from a famous music college includes being a pop star, an enka singer, a jazz singer, and now a singer oneesan}

(Oneesan: Big sister → Japanese. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated females whom they’re close with)

{Text on screen: Just got married}

Utano: Ohuahgrr…

Narrator: Incidentally, she’s now been living with her unsuccessful comedian boyfriend for over five years.

Utano: I gotta get married. You hear me?

Iketeru: Huh? ‘Fraid not. Had something on my mind.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cue card guy: And…cut! Such a good hustle! Take yourself a break while we set up for the next session!

Uramichi: Sure!

(Cue card guy: ‘Kay?)

Usahara: Seriously, Uramichi is so---gueh! Ehueh…hueh! 

Uramichi’s thoughts: Suspicious and rude as he’s acting right now…I just don’t have the energy to deal with him. This is heartbreaking. I must be nearing my end. 

Usahara: Nothing? 

Kumatani: I’m even more scared now.

{Text on sign: Green Room for Uramichi Omota-sama}

(Sama: An honorific used to denote someone of higher status. Usually used to refer to customers or divine entities)

Uramichi’s thoughts: As best I can tell…it’s when you stop fighting that you start getting old. I don’t mean that literally. It’s more a question of spirit than aggression. Struggle, hardship, and competition help people grow…even when we eat dirt. When that rabbit locked eyes with me then jerked away, I knew what was going on. He was about to start bitching about me. First, he wanted to make sure I wasn’t around, but I was around. He thought, “Oh shit, he’s literally right there!” and panicked. I’m used to that kind of treatment by now…so it’s not that upsetting. What I do find upsetting…is how long it took for me to react at all. It feels like the things that happen to me and my emotional response to those things…have somehow drifted out of sync. I still feel the seed of rage…but it’s been buried by indifference.  

Iketeru: How’s it going, Uramichi?

Uramichi: Pretty good, Iketeru! Please knock next time. Now, what brings you here? 

Iketeru: The physicist Richard Feynman. You know him?

Uramichi: Euh…well, yeah! I’ve heard of him. He studied tiny particles of light or whatever, right?

Iketeru: Ehmhmhm! Right. So I only just found out about him a little while ago, hmhm, and I laughed so hard I could barely breathe! Hmhm, ‘ca---cause his nickname, it, ehehe…it would be Dick! Ehehehehehe! Dick Feynman! Ehahahahaha!

Cue card guy: Oh, hey! If you guys are ready, we should head on back.

(Iketeru: Hahahaha! Ehehehehe!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Uramichi: You know Dick Shiner?

Iketeru: Ehmhmhmhm, wait, wait!

Uramichi: Dick Lord?

Iketeru: Nehahahaha! 

Cue card guy: Hm? Is something wrong?

(Iketeru: Ehehehehe!)

Iketeru: No, I’m okay! Hehehe!

Uramichi: Dick Hardwood.

Iketeru: Wahahahaha! Please, you gotta stop!

Cue card guy: Huah…

Iketeru: We’re about to shoot, hehe!

Uramichi: Dick Seaman. 

Iketeru: Ehehehe! Seaman! Oh no, ehehehehe!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Iketeru: Uramichi-oniisan!

{Caption: Uramichi-oniisan}

{Text on sign: Together with Maman}

Cue card guy: Okay! Let’s get back to it, people!

Utano: Oh, hey there, kids! Konnichiwa!

(Konnichiwa!: Hello! → Japanese)

Uramichi: Are you ready to create some art with us?

Utano: Iketeru-oniisan is gonna join us soon. He just needs some time to get it together.  

Boy #5: Is Iketeru-oniisan not together right now?

(Onii-san: An honorific used to refer to your older brother. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated males whom they’re close with)

Uramichi: Nope, not even a little! In fact, he’s on the verge of collapse! Huem…learning moment, kids. If you don’t make time for breaks when you’re at work, you’ll end up burning out. That’s when exhaustion gobbles up your brain cells!  

Boy #5: Should we warn Iketeru?

Uramichi: It’s too late for him.

Girl #8: That is so sad!

Uramichi: Let’s move along. Utano-oneesan, do you wanna draw anything in particular today?

(Onee-san: An honorific used to refer to your older sister. It can also be used by children to refer to older unrelated females whom they’re close with)

Utano: Since you asked, yeah! I was thinking we could draw our friends today! You wouldn’t mind going first, would you? Just draw one of your pals and introduce them to the class! 

Uramichi: You wanna meet my friend?

Children: YEAH! Woooowww! Ahehehe!

Uramichi: Done! 

Utano: What is this? Hold on, I---I can’t…what? Why? Just why? 

Uramichi: Let me explain. Technically, it’s hard to say if we’re friends, but I do know this little birdman pretty well! He haunts my dreams! 

(Children: Woaahhh…)

Uramichi: So kawaii!

(Kawaii!: Cute! → Japanese)

Utano: Are you okay?

Uramichi: If I slip up and admit that I’m not, it’ll jump to take advantage of my weakness. There’s no trace of pity in those eyes. 

Utano: Maybe you should go take a break too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Utano: Uramichi-oniisan?

{Caption: Uramichi-oniisan}

Cue card guy: Okay, cut! We’re gonna call it a wrap for the day, alright? Great hustle, team!

Usahara: I mean, like, seriously, what’s Uramichi’s deal?

Uramichi: Hm? 

Usahara: He doesn’t have a single hobby aside from weight training, right? One of these days, I’m gonna sit him down for a talk. Hehehehe! I’ll let him know that the reason those muscles don’t get him laid is ‘cause he acts like a mopey killjoyyyyyyy…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Narrator: In that moment, indifference WAS BURIED IN RAGE! 

Usahara: NEHAUAAAAAAH!

#anime #anime transcripts #anime dub transcripts #life lessons with uramichi oniisan #life lessons with uramichi oniisan dub transcripts

[xtruss]

USPS Proposes Raising The Prices of First Class Stamps To 73 Cents

"I don’t know how I’m going to afford 73 cents for one stamp," a customer said.

— By Bill Hutchinson | April 10, 2024

If the U.S. Postal Service gets its way, the price of a first-class stamp will go up for the fourth time in less than two years.

The USPS is proposing hiking the cost of a first-class stamp to 73 cents, or roughly 7% on all forms of postage.

If approved, the plan, which was announced on Tuesday, will raise the price of metered 1-ounce letters to 69 cents, international ounce-size letters and postcards to $1.65 and domestic postcards to 56 cents.

The proposal has been sent to the independent Postal Regulatory Commission for final approval. If the commission signs off, the new prices will take effect in July.

Proposed Increases in Stamps! ABC News

The price-hike proposal comes after the USPS raised the cost of a first-class stamp to 68 cents from 66 cents on Jan. 21. Stamp prices rose twice in 2023.

In the past 20 years, the price of a first-class stamp has climbed about 84%.

"It's ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous," New Yorker Jacqueline Pollen told ABC News as she exited a post office on the upper West Side of Manhattan. "I’m a senior on a fixed income. I cannot really afford stamps that much. I do have a lot of Forever stamps that I bought years ago and I’m using them up, but I don’t know how I’m going to afford 73 cents for one stamp."

Like millions of Americans, Pollen said she has cut back on mailing letters, even Christmas cards, saying, "I use E-cards and email. That's what I use now to save money."

But Manhattan resident Albert Quiles, who was going into the post office to purchase stamps, said he's resigned to paying the higher postal prices.

"I've got to deal with it. What else can you do? You've got to go with the flow, man. Times change," Quiles told ABC News. "There's nothing you can do. The government says this is what you've got to do. It's not like it's just me -- it's everybody. I don't feel bad about that."

Price of postage stamps may go up by 5 cents! If the plan is approved, the price hike would be the highest stamp increase ever. A USPS mail delivery vehicle is seen outside a post office, July 3, 2022, in Louisville, Ky. Luke Sharrett/Bloomberg via Getty Images

The postage price jump is part of a 10-year "Delivering for America" plan launched in March 2021 to transform the USPS from a money-strapped organization to one that is self-sustaining and high-performing.

The USPS reported a $6.5 billion net loss in 2023 as revenue fell 0.4% to $78.2 billion and the use of first-class mail dropped to its lowest level since 1968, postal officials said.

In 2022, Postmaster General Louis DeJoy issued a warning for customers to expect "uncomfortable" increases in postage until the USPS gets on track to be self-sustaining.

"While our pricing decisions are ultimately made under the authority of the Board of Governors, in the near term, I will most likely be advocating for these increases," DeJoy said during a meeting with the USPS Board of Governors in 2022. "I believe we have been severely damaged by at least 10 years of a defective pricing model, which cannot be satisfied by one or two annual price increases, especially in this inflationary environment."

Despite the price hike in postage, a USPS survey done in 2023 showed the prices of stamps in the United States are still lower compared to 31 other countries it analyzed.

"The 2023 price of a standard domestic letter in the U.S. was nearly half the average price in our 31 sampled countries," according to the USPS Office of Inspector General report released in March.

#United States 🇺🇸 Postal Service (USPS) #Postal Service #Stamps’ Price Raising #United States 🇺🇸

[suspension3333]

KKK (666) & BCI Criminals / Crimes & the others

2 states / Serial killers & Mass killing: Murderers / Corruption

Police reports + FBI & CIA Reports +@ (Total: 16 e-mails + Pictures + Media relations (Too many) + 911 + Carrollton PD + LAPD + @) FBI & CIA & Cops +@ (Reported too many times): They don't arrest my family & nephews & cousins & the others. (Over 3 years) Check these out.

EVERYBODY/THEY: BCI Criminals - Crimes / Wide open - Over 3 years / Had made a plan & killing me all the time - For about 12 years / Almost 40 years - Trueman show & Lolita & Maruta (Remote hacking) & Cute baby (Ref. CIA Stuff - 17 babies: Ref. News + @) My Mom was an announcer of MBC TV Station (Former: TBC / Now: MBC) & MY Brother - Wanted to be a star + Nephews / Cousins / Relationships + @ - Related My family & nephews & cousins & relationships + @ - They sold me & They had sold me & They are selling me to MBC + SM Entertainment + SK Telecom + @ (+ The others) - $5000/$50000 a year - Human trafficking Prostitution + @ : Businesses + @ : Deals + @ - Moneytree (Black money / Abandonment of a dead body + Stand in for a dead man + Sue + @) & murder & earn money + @ - Too many

KKK (666) / Prostitution (Human trafficking) / Businesses / Deals / Moneytree (Black money / Abandonment of a dead body + Stand in for a dead man + Sue + @) & murder & earn money + @: Too many people: Involved - Presidents (Joe Bidon & Seok Ryul Yoon + @ (+ Former presidents: Bushs & Clintons & Obama & Trump + @ / Jae In Mun & MB Lee + @), senators + @, UN + @, TV Stations (MBC+KBS+SBS+TVN+@/CNN+NBC+CBS+KTLA+ABC+@) & Media relations (Too many), Korean stars (SM & YG & JYP Entertainments+@) & Hollywood stars (Tom Cruise / Brad Pitt / Jennifer Anistone / Emma Stone / Matt Damon / Robert D. Junior & Chris Evans (Marble + DC + @) / Steven Spielberg & Harrison Ford / keanu Reeves + Leonardo Dicaprio + Bruce Willis + @), Companies (SK+Samsung+LG+Hyundai+Neuralink+Synchron+Microsoft+Blizzard+Tesla+Porshe+BMW+GM+Ford+Chrysler+@), co.workers (Former), friends (Former), my family & nephews & cousins & relationships+@ - Too many

Methods of attack - Radiation exposure (By hacking - Artificial gravity + remote hacking + @: Get that (Radiation) from Hospital of Plano + @ (Ref. 16 e-mails + @): Burning me all the time (Possible to move/keep/hold (Radiation - Biochemical weapon) - Inside of my head (Nose & neck + @) & foots & arms & inside/outside of my body - I'm just like a dead body now.) & Possible to move/control my whole body (By hacking - Artificial gravity + remote hacking+@) & brain hacking + a medical experiment on a living body: Remote hacking & Ultra sonic waves (High frequency/Radio frequency - Hacking tool + Podcast) & Electronic harassment & General hacking & CG/Upgrade+@ - Everybody's killing me all the time by using those.

Everybody, they are all murderers.(Serial killers & Mass killing: Murderers - They have been killing people so long time - South Korea & USA Side + @). They have been killing people all around. (Ref. KKK (666) + @: Long history)

For example (They said like those),

3/9/2022 - 6am (+3/10/2022 - 7am) Waste disposal? Long term? Hacking? Got money? Billions + @? Youtube + @? 폐품처리? 오래 해킹? 돈벌이 (수십억)? Youtube + @? (Ref. My memos & e-mails - Useful? Moneytree + @? Name? DOB? Fortune + @?)

4/19/2022 - 12pm 우리 밥이였잖아? 밥이잖아? Our feed? Long term? Past & now? (Ref. My memos & e-mails)

The others (Too many evidences)

My e-mail addresses: [email protected] & [email protected] / Cell phone: [phone] / Name: Ji Sung Kim / Address: 1300 Walnut St #110 Carrollton TX 75006 Please let anybody know about the issues & save me. I just need a helping hand. I have been dying because of them.

My channel: www.youtube.com/@BCI_Criminals_Crimes_KKK_666

KKK (666) & BCI Criminals / Crimes + World wars (Related - UN & Israel & hamas war & palestine & World wars (1 & 2) & Strikes + @ Too many) I'm dying because of these. They are killing me all the time. (Ref. KKK (666) + @: Long history)

#@ganzi3i

[yessadirichards]

Oscars producers promise cameos and surprises for Sunday’s show

LOS ANGELES

With just day to go until the 96th Academy Awards on Sunday, the show’s producers are feeling good about what they’ve put together.

The nominees are some of the best the Oscars have seen, including some true blockbusters like “Oppenheimer” and “Barbie.” Ryan Gosling is singing “I’m Just Ken” during the show. There will be a live orchestra in the theater. And the ever-reliable Jimmy Kimmel is back to host the proceedings for the fourth time.

“We’re really excited about this year,” said Molly McNearney, who is executive producing the show for the fourth time. “It’s a phenomenal year of movies. And we have great movies that the home audience is familiar with, which makes our jobs easier.”

The producers were hired earlier than usual, meaning they’ve had more time to plan and study past Oscars broadcasts to try to home in on what works and what doesn’t. One thing they’ve learned is that if the room is laughing, the audience at home is usually laughing too.

McNearney, who is married to Kimmel, said that they’re focusing on jokes over big, highly produced comedy bits. Kimmel will do his 10-minute monologue to kick off the show and will be sprinkled throughout.

“I think an evening that just makes people feel good is a win,” McNearney said. “Our job as producers is to keep that feeling good moving quickly because it is a long show and we want to make sure people are staying throughout.”

Another thing that works: When the speeches are good and people feel invested in the winners. Last year there were a lot of great comeback and underdog stories, from Brendan Fraser to Ke Huy Quan, which helped. This is not something the producers have any control over, but they are optimistic about the nominees and setting up scenarios with presenters who have a genuine connection either with each other or people in the audience.

“We want everybody to feel included, that they are part of our story,” said executive producer and showrunner Raj Kapoor. “I hope that we have put another kind of modern take on it that really focuses on storytelling and connection and that the audience in the theater and at home will just feel immersed in the experience all throughout the evening.”

Kapoor noted that the live performances of the Oscar-nominated original songs should be a real highlight of the show too, from the Osage singers to Gosling. They’ve also re-designed the stage so that an orchestra of 42 musicians can be in the Dolby Theatre and seen on camera. And Kapoor teased that the In Memoriam sequence is something they’ve put a lot of time and thought into and that it is poised to tug at audience heartstrings.

“There’s going to be entertainment and lots of surprises and a few cameos and things that haven’t been announced yet. We’re just really excited for everybody to come watch with us,” Katy Mullan said. “The Oscars is one of those last giant tentpole pop culture moments that everybody looks forward to and gathers around that TV set. It’s co-viewing at its best. And we’re in this moment where there’s more interest around these big live moments than there has been in years.”

Their main concern at the moment is that the global audience remembers that the broadcast begins an hour earlier than normal, at 7 p.m. EDT. It’s also the first day of daylight saving time.

“I think people are going to bed earlier and people are very excited, hopefully, that it’s starting at 7,” Mullan said. “It won’t be so late for everyone hanging on for the best picture announcement.”

The 96th Oscars will be broadcast live on ABC from the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles on March 10 with the pre-show beginning at 6:30 p.m.

#yessadirichards