#aaron hotch angst

[springtyme]

heyy love, could you do an aaron hotchner x fem bau reader where they dated in secretly for a while but then he broke up with her. the reason he broke up with her is because he is her boss and that always was something that made him feel doubtful about their relationship. it’s up to you if you want to end it with an happy ending.

thank youu

𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐀𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 ♡

Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader || Main masterlist || Spotify

Thank you so much for the request, dear anon! Such a lovely one and I was so happy to write for Hotch! mwah <3

summary: You suspect that you've been in love with Aaron Hotchner since you first laid eyes on him three years ago. Now you're on your way to Idaho to go on your first case together since he broke your heart two weeks ago.

word count: 4.5k

warnings/tags: Angst and fluff. Boss/employee relationship. Hurt/comfort. Heartbreak. Kissing. Sharing a bed. (first time I write for Hotch, so please bear with me) Haven't proof read yet. I don't know if I really like how it ended up tbh, but maybe it's just because I was really tired while writing it..?

You keep your gaze on the pages of the book, despite the words keep blurring together and after having read the same paragraph four times over, without even having registered what you have read. You’ve given up on actually getting any reading done, but you don’t want anyone talking to you right now and you still have almost four hours left before you land in Idaho. So you keep eyes glued to the book, hoping that the act of pretending to read will deter any unwanted conversation.     

You can feel his eyes on you, not all the time, but you feel how his gaze occasionally lingers on you. It’s subtle, almost imperceptible, but you sense his presence nonetheless.  

Taking in a deep breath you look up from the book to steal a glance in his direction, catching his eye for a brief moment before he looks away. There’s a flicker of something in his expression, a hint of longing that mirrors your own. But just as quickly as it appeared, it’s gone, replaced by the stoic mask he wears so well as he continues his conversation with Derek. 

The last two weeks have been painful, filled with a whirlwind of emotions and unanswered questions since Aaron had ended your relationship, before it even had a chance to really begin. It’s been three years since you joined the BAU and from the very beginning you had felt drawn to Aaron Hotchner in a way that defied logic and reason, like there was a connection between you that transcended the professional boundaries of boss and subordinate. 

A silly crush is what it had started as, but the more you got to know him, the more you realized that what you felt was far more than just that. It was a deep, undeniable attraction, a connection that went beyond the surface level. And as time passed, that initial spark grew into something more profound, something that stirred your soul and filled your heart with warmth. 

Sometimes you had let yourself hope that he felt the same way, that the moments of shared glances and unspoken words between you held a deeper meaning, but you had never dared act on it, or let yourself get your hopes up too high. The reality of Aaron’s position as your boss and the boundaries it imposed had always stood as a barrier. The unspoken rules of professionalism, the fear of risking his or your career and the harmony of the team had kept your feelings hidden, buried beneath layers of duty and obligation. 

It was three months ago that things had changed between you. It had been a moment of vulnerability, a shared confession during a late-night conversation with the raw emotions of the aftermath of an exceptionally harrowing case that had laid bare the depths of your emotions, and the longing that had simmered beneath the surface for so long had reached a point of no return. 

He had kissed you that night and it was sweet and tender, yet charged with unspoken desire and desperation. It was a moment of surrender, a brief glimpse into a world where the barriers between you could be broken down and the feelings you had both been suppressing could be allowed to flourish. 

The next couple months had been a whirlwind of stolen moments and whispered confessions, each one deepening the bond between you in ways that words could never fully capture. There were secret meetings in secluded corners of the BAU office, stolen kisses in the quiet of the night, and shared glances that spoke volumes without a single word being uttered.

But as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, a shadow began to loom over your newfound connection. Aaron had started to act distant and reserved, his once warm and affectionate demeanor now replaced by a noticeable aloofness. And two weeks ago on a night where the both of you had stayed late to finish some reports he had told you that it all had been a mistake, and that the two of you should maintain a strictly professional relationship moving forward. 

His words had cut through the air with a sharp finality and landed like a heavy blow, shattering the fragile hope that had still lingered within you. Aaron’s eyes had been averted, unable to meet your gaze as he spoke the words that shattered your heart.

You steal another glance at Aaron, watching as he maintains his composure in conversation with Derek, his mask of professionalism firmly in place. 

You turn back to your book, the words still a jumbled mess on the page. You can’t pretend to read anymore, not when your heart is heavy with memories and unspoken words. With a sigh, you close the book, making Emily, who is seated across the aisle, glance up from the case file she is reading with a questioning look. 

You offer her a faint smile, attempting to convey a sense of normalcy despite the turmoil swirling within you. 

“You okay?” she asks as she sets aside the case file. You appreciate her gesture, knowing that Emily’s intuition often went beyond words.

You take a moment to collect your thoughts, the weight of unspoken emotions pressing down on you. With a small nod, you offer Emily a reassuring smile, though it doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just a lot on my mind,” you reply softly, the words carrying a weight that belie their simplicity.

Emily nods in understanding, her gaze holding a sense of sympathy. “He’s an idiot, by the way,” she says with a wry smile, and you feel how your heart stops for a second, panicking at the thought of Emily uncovering the truth of what has unfolded between you and Aaron. 

“What do you mean?” you stammer, the words tumbling out before you can stop them, your heart pounding in your chest as you wait for Emily’s response.

Emily just smiles at you as she picks up her file again. “We’re profilers, it’s not hard to read between the lines,” Emily says with a knowing glint in her eyes, her smile reassuring and understanding. “And you’re not as hard to read as you think, it’s clear that you have been dating someone, you have been looking like a smitten kitten for months, it’s been really cute to see, by the way, but something has changed recently. You’ve been distant, and often lost in thought sulking,” Emily continues, her tone gentle yet perceptive. 

It’s not like it really surprises you, given how perceptive Emily is, and how deeply you’ve been feeling the shifts in your relationship with Aaron, but you had still hoped that you could have hidden your feelings from colleagues. 

“So, yeah, whoever he is that has you feeling like this is an idiot, you’re clearly a catch,” Emily says with a reassuring smile, her words carrying a sense of warmth and understanding.

You feel relief wash over you, though Emily has sensed that you’ve been heartbroken, she hasn’t figured out that it is our boss that has been the course of it. 

“Thanks, Em,” you say, offering the dark haired woman a tired but grateful smile.

Emily returns your smile. “If you ever need to talk or just... not talk, I’m here,” she offers, her voice warm and reassuring.

“I appreciate that,” you say, and you do really mean it, but you know that you’re not ready to talk about any of this yet. “But I think I’ll try to take a nap first, hopefully clear my head a bit before we land.” 

“Mm, sounds like a plan,”Emily responds with a soft chuckle. 

Grabbing the blanket from the empty seat next to you, you lean back in your seat, engulfing your body in the soft, fluffy material. 

Before closing your eyes you cast one last glance at Aaron, his profile etched against the soft glow of the cabin lights. The memories of stolen moments with stolen kisses floods your mind, mingling with the ache of his recent rejection. You feel a pang in your heart, a mix of longing and sorrow, as you turn away, curling up in your seat, closing your eyes to the world outside.

You pull the blanket closer around you, the soft warmth of the blanket envelops you, cocooning you in a sense of comfort and security, providing a shield against the turmoil of your heart. The gentle hum of the airplane engines lulls you into a state of relaxation, the rhythmic sound serving as a soothing backdrop to your thoughts and emotions. 

As you feel yourself drifting further into the realm of sleep, your senses start to weaken, the sounds of the airplane cabin fading into a distant murmur and you barely register the tears gently sliding down your cheeks before you drift off. 

· · · · · 

You’re softly pulled out of sleep by the gentle touch of a hand on your shoulder. As you slowly flutter your eyes open, the soft glow of the cabin lights illuminates the figure beside you.

“Hey, sleepyhead, we’re about to land,” Derek’s voice is warm and filled with a hint of amusement as he gently rouses you from your slumber.

You blink a few times, the remnants of sleep still lingering in your mind as you adjust to the reality of the present moment. With a small smile, you offer Derek a nod of gratitude. Slowly, you sit up in your seat, the blanket slipping off your shoulders as you get ready for touchdown. 

As the plane begins its descent, you feel a mix of emotions swirling within you - longing, sorrow, and a hint of resignation. The turbulence of your heart echoes the turbulence in the jet cabin as you start dissenting onto a lower altitude.     

As the cabin lights dim in preparation for landing, you look up to find Aaron’s eyes looking in your direction, his gaze briefly meeting yours before he looks away, a shadow covering his features in the soft glow. This would all be so much easier if he would stop looking at you all the time.    

You take a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions as the plane continues its descent. The mix of longing and sorrow in your heart feels almost suffocating, but you push it aside. You have to focus, have to keep your head clear for the sake of the case, you are a professional and you are not going to let your emotions cloud your mind. As the wheels touch the runway with a slight jolt, signaling your arrival in Idaho, you

And as the team disembarks from the plane and makes their way to the awaiting SUVs, you feel a sense of resolve settling within you, happy to no longer be confined to the limited room of the jet cabin and as you step out into the crisp evening air, you release a sigh of relief. 

You watch Aaron walk ahead of you, his posture rigid and his expression unreadable as he walks to one of the cars and you beeline for the other. You keep your gaze fixed outside the window for most of the car ride, watching the landscape pass by in a blur as the car speeds towards its destination, a little sleepy town about an hour away. 

As you and the team arrive at the local police station, you can feel the tension between you and Aaron simmering just beneath the surface. The case at hand requires your full attention, and you push aside the turbulent thoughts and emotions that threaten to consume you as you focus on the task at hand.

Throughout the evening and early night, you work alongside the team, profiling the unsub and piecing together clues to hopefully catch the unsub before they strike again. The familiarity of the work, the rhythm of profiling and investigating grounding you in the present moment, making you go into a state of laser focused professionalism. You find a sense of purpose in the work you do, a reminder that you are more than the turmoil of your emotions.

But as the night wears on, the team regroups at the hotel to get a few hours of sleep before continuing the investigation in the morning. You find yourself standing outside the small hotel, looking up at the dark, star lit sky and as you turn to head inside and join the rest of the team, you feel your heart do a little jump in your chest as you see Aaron standing a few feet away, his gaze fixed on you, his usual stoic expression faltered, his brown eyes softening as they meet yours.   

For a moment, the world around you seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you standing in the quiet night, and suddenly, you know that the decision you have made to the hard choice you’ve struggled with for the past two weeks is the right one. 

 Without saying a word, you walk towards him, a mix of uncertainty and determination coursing through you. As you come to a stop in front of him, he opens his mouth to speak, but you raise a hand to silence him. “Not here,” you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper, and you gently take his hand, leading him towards a secluded corner of the hotel grounds. 

As you come to a stop, you turn to face him, the dim light of the night casting shadows across his face. With a heavy sigh, you search his eyes for any sign of the man you once knew, the man who had kissed you with such tenderness and held you with such care, for the man you think might’ve even loved you. You had loved him, had long before he kissed you, and you still love.

 “Aaron, I…” you begin, trailing off as you feel all the words in your head leave you as you look into his eyes, remembering that night he had kissed you for the first time. It had been a late night just like this one, it had been the first time you had ever called him by his first name. 

“Let’s sit,” he says, his voice gentle yet strained, as he guides you to a nearby bench. You both sit in silence for a moment, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily between you. Finally, Aaron speaks, his voice raw with emotion. “I’m sorry for hurting you, for leading you on, for... for everything.” His words are filled with regret, and you can see the pain in his eyes, a pain that mirrors your own. 

He reaches out his hand, hesitating before resting it on yours. His touch is soft and hesitant but filled with unspoken longing and you feel how your heart skips a beat, how you have missed the feeling of him touching you, even if it’s just the slightest of touches. 

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he says, his voice now barely above a whisper. 

‘But it did hurt, it hurt so, so much’, is what you want to say. But as you look into Aaron’s eyes, filled with regret and vulnerability, you find yourself unable to form the words, the intensity in the warm, chocolate brown depths of his gaze rendering you speechless. You see the conflict within him, the turmoil of emotions swirling beneath the surface, and you feel the need to avert your gaze.  

You look down at his hand on yours, the warmth of his touch sending a shiver down your spine in the balm night air. For a moment, you allow yourself to savor the familiar sensation, the connection that still linger between you despite the circumstances.

Aaron’s hand tightens slightly around yours, a silent plea for understanding. “You deserve so much better than that,” he murmurs, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand.

You take a deep breath, the words forming in your mind before you speak them out loud. “Maybe I don’t want you to decide for me what I do and don’t deserve,” you say, looking up at him again, your voice steady despite the emotions swirling within you. Aaron’s eyes widen slightly at your words, a mix of  crossing his features.

It seems like it’s his turn to be lost for words, which for some reason seems to give you a bit more courage. You fill your lungs with another deep breath before opening your mouth.  

“I’m quitting,” you declare, your voice firm and resolute. You’ve been struggling with making the decision, but as you look at Aaron now, face lit up by the soft moon light you know that it is the only decision for you, you are never gonna be able to let him go if you keep working for the BAU. “I’m turning in my resignation letter when we get back from this case.”

Aaron’s eyes widen in shock, his grip on your hand tightening even more as he processes your words. The weight of your statement hangs heavy in the air between you, the unspoken implications of what this means for both of you settling in. You can see how a myriad of emotions flicker across his face – surprise, concern, and perhaps a glimmer of something else that you can’t quite place.

“You can’t do that,” Aaron’s voice is firm but filled with a mix of concern and resignation, his gaze searching yours for any sign of doubt

You can’t help but feel a pang of hurt at his words, it’s not like you had expected him to be happy about your decision, but a little, and probably naive, part of you had hoped that he would acknowledge that it would be the solution to how the two of you could be together, hoped that he still wanted that. But you’re not leaving the BAU for the slim chance that you can be with Aaron. You’re quitting because it’s become clear to you that it is the only solution. If the only time you can push aside the pain of being around him is when you’re actively investigating  a violent crime case, you have to let him go, and you can only do that by leaving the BAU. 

“Yes, I can… I have to, I think,” you say firmly, yet you feel your heart breaking a little by the thought of leaving. “I need to do this for myself. For my own well-being,” you continue, your gaze unwavering as you look into his eyes. “I can’t keep pretending that everything is okay when it’s not.” 

Aaron remains silent for a moment, his expression unreadable as he processes your words. Finally, he sighs, a hint of resignation in his voice. “I never wanted it to come to this,” he admits, his voice heavy with regret.

“I know,” you reply softly, a tinge of sorrow coloring your words. “But we both knew the risks when we started this.”

“I should never have put you in this position,” Aaron says, his gaze dropping to the ground as he speaks. “I should never have kissed you that night. Ilet my own feelings cloud my judgment, and I hurt you in the process. I’m your boss, and I took advantage, and I-I hurt you, and…” 

“No, look at me, please.” You reach out and gently cub his cheek in your hand, making him meet your gaze. “Aaron, it wasn’t just you. I wanted it too, I wanted to be with you,” you confess, your voice breaking slightly with emotion. “I wanted to take the risk because I thought it was worth it. And maybe it was, for a while. But we can’t keep going like this, Aaron. It’s not fair to either of us.” 

Aaron’s eyes search yours, a mix of emotions swirling within their depths. “What are you saying?” he asks softly, his voice filled with a hint of desperation. 

“I’m saying that I need to let you go,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “I need to let go of this hope that maybe someday we could find a way to be together. I can’t keep holding on to something that’s only causing us both pain.” Tears gather in the corners of your eyes as you speak, the weight of your decision pressing down on you. But despite the pain, you feel a sense of clarity wash over you, a sense of liberation in finally speaking the truth. 

Aaron’s eyes soften, his hand coming up to gently grasp yours that’s still cupping his cheek. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers, his voice filled with regret and sorrow. You offer him a sad smile, tears finally spilling down your cheeks as you lean forward to press a soft kiss to his cheek before pulling away. 

“Me too, Aaron,” you say softly, your voice filled with a mix of love and heartbreak. As you stand up from the bench, you turn to walk away, the weight of your decision settling in your heart. But before you can take a step, you feel a hand grasp yours, stopping you in your tracks. You turn back to see Aaron standing before you, his eyes filled with determination and a hint of something you can’t quite place. 

“I...I can’t let you leave without saying this,” Aaron begins, his voice wavering slightly. “I’ve been a fool. I’ve let my own fears and insecurities cloud my judgment, and in the process, I’ve hurt you. But I can’t let you go without telling you that I love you. ” 

Your heart skips a beat at his words, the depth of his confession washing over you like a wave. For a moment, you feel a flicker of hope ignite within you, a spark of possibility that maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance for the two of you. “But what does that mean, Aaron?” you ask softly, your voice filled with a mix of hope and trepidation. “What are you saying?” 

Aaron takes a deep breath, his gaze unwavering as he speaks. “I’m saying that I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to live with the regret of letting you slip away. I want to fight for a future where you are a part of my life. I know it won’t be easy, I know there are risks and complications, but I can’t let you go without at least trying cause I love you.” 

Tears stream down your cheeks as you look into Aaron’s eyes, the sincerity and love shining within them filling your heart with warmth and longing. Taking a step closer to Aaron, you reach out to cup his face in your hands, meeting his gaze with determination. 

“I love you, too. I think I’ve loved you from the moment I met you.” 

Aaron’s eyes widen in surprise, a mix of emotions flickering across his features. Without another word, he closes the distance between the two of you, his lips capturing yours in a kiss filled with passion and longing. The world falls away as you melt into each other, lost in the moment of shared love and desire as the man you love kisses you under the moonlight.

The kiss deepens, becoming a promise of the future you both want to fight for, a pledge to overcome the obstacles that stand in your way, a balm for the weeks of heartbreak. And as you break apart, breathless and filled with emotion, you feel how your entire body shivers, already missing the feeling of Aaron’s warm lips against yours. 

“You’re freezing,” Aaron frowns, quickly shredding himself of his suit jacket and draping it around your shoulders before wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace. “Let’s get you inside.”

You nod, your heart swelling with hope and love as he takes your hand in his, leading you back to the hotel. Hotel might be a little generous; it’s more of a bed and breakfast, with so few rooms that the team had to pair up and share, but it was the only accommodation in town and it is not like you and the team aren’t used to having to share rooms from time to time. 

It turns out the rest of the team has already paired up and hit the hay, leaving only one room since you’re the last two to arrive. “Looks like you and I’ll have to share a room,” you say, a small smile playing on your lips, an hour ago you would be horrified by it, but now you’re absolutely thrilled about it.  

“Yeah, looks like it,” he says with a soft smile on his face as you get your keys before taking your hand in his again and leading you to your shared room.  

As you step inside, the warmth of the room envelops you, melding with the warmth of Aaron’s touch as he pulls you into his arms, his lips finding yours once more in a sweet, tender embrace. In the dim light of the hotel room, with the moon casting a soft glow through the curtains, the emotions swirling within you are no longer suffocating, but freeing, as you surrender to the love that has bound the two of you together.

As you finally break apart and look around it turns out that the room is a twin room, with two beds divided by a bedside table. It makes sense that your coworkers didn’t leave you to share a room with a shared bed. 

You share a knowing look with him before the both of you start to quickly get ready for bed, it’s late and you’re both exhausted and there is only a few hours till you’ll need to get up again. 

You share one last kiss before moving to your respective beds, but as you lay there, the distance between you feels unbearable. The man you have been pining over for three years has just a little while ago told you that he loves you after weeks of heartbreak and he lies so close yet you can’t even touch him? That’s ridiculous! 

“I can’t do this,” you whisper, your voice filled with longing as you look at Aaron.

“I know,” he replies, his voice just as filled with yearning as he pulls his covers to the side letting you slip into the bed with him. 

You settle into his arms, feeling the warmth of his body against yours, and you feel as if you’re finally coming home. The walls that had been built between you are crumbling down, allowing you to embrace the love that has always been between you.

As you snuggle closer to Aaron, his arms wrapped tightly around you, you feel a sense of peace wash over you. The turmoil of the past weeks fades away, replaced by a deep sense of contentment and love.

“I’m never letting you go again,” Aaron whispers, his breath warm against your ear, and you know that he means it. And you know that you never want to let him go either. 

With a smile on your face, and your heart full of love and hope, you drift off to sleep in the arms of the man you love, knowing that no matter what challenges lie ahead, you will face them together.

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[hotchnisslvr]

“Power Struggle”

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Reader

Rating: M

Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 7.2k

Summary: For months, you and SSA Aaron Hotchner have been toeing the boundary between romance and your careers. When the unsub that's been killing women in Michigan by way of replicating Zeus' punishments from Greek mythology takes you as his next victim, it's up to Hotch and the rest of the BAU team to find you before it's too late. Hurt/comfort and angst with happy ending.

Tags: graphic depictions of violence, reader kidnapped by unsub, blood, implied SA, nudity, electrocution, scarring, hospitals

“You’re telling me someone is out here killing people to recreate, what? Greek legends?” Sheriff McCullen’s brow pinches as he shakes his head.

“Legends are stories often loosely based on a real person or event to teach us a lesson. Mythology is based on supernatural or sacred lore and explains why things came to be. It’s a common mistake.” Reid speaks quickly and methodically, as if reciting from a textbook. “It’s straight out of the mythos,” he explains, his voice tinged with something akin to excitement as he approaches the whiteboard where photos of the victims had been pinned up for review. Using a ballpoint pen as a pointer, he taps the first image of the first victim. “Regina Manford, she was found tied to a boulder in Craig Lake State Park with her liver removed. Animal predation showed birds had pecked at her while she was still alive. In Greek mythology, Zeus did this to Prometheus to exact revenge on him after he stole fire to give to man.”

Reid moves on to the next victim, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he did so. “Sarah Walters was found bound to an old water wheel that had been set on fire. Greek Mythology suggests this is a copy of Zeus’ punishment for Ixion.”

“And what did he do to deserve that?” asks the sheriff.

Reid’s lips form a tight line. “He was invited into Zeus’ home on Olympus. After attempting to seduce his wife, Hera, Zeus punished him by binding him to a wheel of fire cursed to spin forever toward the underworld. She might’ve smiled or even looked at him, and in his delusion believed she was a seductress deserving of punishment.”

“So, what? This guy sees himself as some sort of god?”

“We believe that is his delusion, yes,” answers Emily. “Each victim also bore signs of sexual trauma, this is something Zeus is also renowned for in the mythology. Our unsub thinks he’s infallible and that these women’s lives and deciding when and how these women live and die is his divine right.”

“Do we know if there will be more victims?” asks one of the detectives.

You step forward from your place between Morgan and Hotchner. “Given the number of victims Zeus punished within the mythology, we can assume he is not finished. These kills are two weeks apart. It’s been twelve days since the last body was found. We can only assume he’s currently hunting for his next victim. And when he finds one, he convinces her to go to a second location. It's once they leave the primary location that he attacks. In each case, the victim suffered a blow to the head, leaving a uniquely shaped gash in her forehead. This suggests that he strikes them with a distinct blunt object or even a ring that’s on his hand.”

“We need every man out on the streets,” Hotch states, his eyes hard as he scans the group of law enforcement gathered to receive the profile. “He stalks his victims in the city, often on the weekends when night life is busiest. He’s charming. He has no problem approaching women because he views himself as a deity and carries himself with the arrogance and confidence of one. He’s white, in his early to mid 30s, good looking, charming, and likely has a career that would’ve provided him with medical training.”

A female detective with short blonde hair sticks her pencil in the air. “How do we know that?”

“The incisions made on Regina’s body were clean, precise, and showed no signs of hesitation,” explains Rossi. “The M.E. also informed us that the hepatic artery was clamped off, meaning,” Rossi hesitates before continuing on, “meaning Regina Mansford was alive as her liver was being cut from her body.”

An uncomfortable murmuring breaks out. Hotch raises a hand, silencing them. Your mouth goes dry and you swallow, hoping your team doesn’t notice the way your eyes dilate when you look at him and the silent way in which he can command a room.

“This is why we need every available officer on the streets. Increase units in the downtown area. Have plain clothes officers on the streets. That’s where we’ll be. Thank you.” Hotch tucks his head and sweeps out of the bullpen, the rest of the team trailing after him into the conference room.

“Where do you want us?” asks Morgan as you shut the door to the conference room.

“Reid, I want you here working the geographical profile. See if there’s anything we missed that could bring us closer to a precise location where he’s kidnapping his victims. Rossi and JJ, I want you to go back to Sarah’s apartment and see if we missed anything that tells us where she was exactly on the night she was kidnapped. Derek and Emily take the north side of downtown.” He inclines his head toward you. “You and I will take the south side.”

His eyes linger on yours a moment longer than they ought to have. You dip your head and swiftly exit the room, jacket in hand as you prepare to brave not only the frigid Michigan cold but working one one-on-one with Hotch. This had been going on for months; subtle looks, brief touches where his fingers would slide over yours while passing off a case file…yet a part of you still wasn’t sure if it would ever go any further than that. You spend so much of your time with the team, it would be so easy to mistake one gesture for something that it wasn’t. Yet you knew that wasn’t true. You know behavior. You’re trained to recognize the subtlest of shifts in demeanor and body language and you know exactly what is going on.

You jump as someone pushes through the front door of the precinct. Emily’s gentle laugh disrupts your rumination. “Sorry,” she says, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She moves to stand closer to you as she zips her jacket. “The guys went to grab the cars.”

You nod and shove your hands in your pockets.

Emily arches a perfectly manicured brow. “What’s up?”

You school your expression and feign nonchalance. “Nothing, I just want to catch this guy before he hurts anyone else.”

Emily’s brow furrows and then straightens, a glimmer of knowing in her eye. “Something tells me there’s a different guy on your mind.”

Your heart skips a beat and you nearly choke on the crisp winter air. “What? I don’t—“ Your words falter as Derek and Hotch arrive, the SUVs humming to a gentle stop at the curb.

Emily eyes you, a sly smile curving one side of her red lips. “We’ll talk later.” She winks and steps forward to open the passenger side door, sliding inside and disappearing into the dark interior.

As you turn to move toward the SUV, Hotch is there, opening the door for you. The gesture surprises you, but it shouldn’t. He’d been doing little things like this for weeks now. You nod your head in thanks and as you turn your body to slide past him, his hand catches your hip. Your breath hitches in your throat as his fingers glide against the small of your back, guiding your movement into the vehicle.

His hard eyes meet yours as he shuts the door and you’re grateful for the shadows inside the car as you feel your face flush bright red. Hotch slides into the driver’s seat with ease. He shifts the car into gear and pulls onto the road, heading in the direction of downtown.

After a few minutes, you open your mouth to disrupt the silence, but his cell rings. Hotch answers and places it on speaker as JJ’s voice floats through the receiver, “Hotch, we think we’ve got something at Sarah Walters apartment.”

“What’s that?” you ask.

“There’s a sticky note in her trash can,” a garbled sound echoes through the speaker as she shifts the phone. The sound of paper crinkles as she reads, “Tony’s at 9, does that mean anything? Has Garcia come across a Tony in any of her research into the victims’ lives? Maybe an Anthony?”

An image of a neon sign flashes across your mind’s eye. “It’s a bar,” you say matter-of-factly.

“A bar?”

“I remember seeing the sign on our drive-in. It’s a bar on the south side of downtown. That could be where he’s meeting these women.”

“We’re only a few blocks away, we’ll head there now. Thank you, JJ.” He hangs up and slips the phone into his jacket pocket.

“How do you want to play this?” you ask.

“We go in, make observations, see if we can identify anyone that matches the profile.”

You smirk and a small laugh escapes your lips.

“Something funny?” Hotch asks, his voice low in his throat.

You purse your lips, pausing before you proceed. “If we go in looking like feds, we’ll scare this guy away.” You tilt your head, considering. “Well, one of us anyway.”

A slight twitch in his brow is the only indication your words have just barely gotten under his skin. “Touched a nerve, sir?”

As the traffic light ahead blinks red, he eases the car to a stop. He breathes out slowly, the amber glow of the stoplight reflecting in his eyes. In less than two heartbeats, he thrusts the car into park and with both hands clasps your face, drawing you in to kiss you with such fervor white spots dot your vision. It takes a moment to process the heat of his mouth on yours and the way his tongue slides between your lips, and before you can truly reciprocate the light turns green and he pulls back, his breathing ragged against your mouth as his forehead touches yours. “Be careful when and how you choose to call me sir.”

Before you can exhale, his eyes are on the road again and you’re driving deeper into downtown.

“Understood,” and then you add, almost imperceptibly, “sir.”

A small smile quirks at the corner of his lips, but he says nothing more as you approach your destination.

It's nearing 9:30pm when you pull up on the street parallel to Tony’s. People trickle in and out of the bar in groups of twos and threes; most are young, in their mid to late twenties.

“Right,” you say as you unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to exit the vehicle. “Stay here.”

“Excuse me?” Hotch asks, reaching over your lap and grabbing your wrist to stay your hand from popping the door open. Your breathing stills and he just barely turns his face toward yours. “Since when do you give me orders?”

Unsure where the confidence to challenge him comes from, you lean in near his ear. You swallow once before speaking. “I think you like taking them.” Feeling incredibly brazen, you nip at his ear once and as the unexpected gesture disarms him; flick your wrist out of his grasp and pop the door open. You slide out of the car and are immediately greeted by the frigid January air eliciting goosebumps up and down your arms. Extending an arm overhead to hang on to the frame of the SUV; you lean down into the cab of the vehicle. “I’ve got you right here,” you say as you tap the hidden earpiece. “Let me know if you see anyone from the outside that fits the profile.”

Hotch eyes you and there’s a fierceness in his gaze. You wonder if he’s thinking of how he’ll ultimately retaliate for your little role reversal now that he’s gone and upped the ante in this little game of cat and mouse. “See you soon,” you wink and slam the door shut.

As you approach the bar, you make sure your coat is buttoned in a way that hides your sidearm and credentials from sight. The bouncer doesn’t even pretend to ask for an ID as you approach and move through the front door with ease. As you cross through the threshold, your senses are assaulted by the smell of beer on tap, the sharp tang of liquor, grease, and an amalgamation of perfumes and colognes.

Immediately you begin scanning the room. You note the layout of the bar: three exits for patrons, the one you just came in through, one near the bathrooms for cigarette smokers, and an emergency exit on the far right wall near to the kitchen. There are three pool tables all of which are occupied as well as three dart boards along the far wall. Groups of friends engage one another and dates carry on without a hitch. You approach the bar, which is centered along the far wall. Stools line the high countertop and behind the bar, two women work to fulfill the never-ending drink orders. You approach the bar and slide into one of the empty seats, relaxing your shoulders as you do so, and order a rum and coke that you don’t plan on drinking.

After a moment the bartender drops a cocktail napkin in front of you and places the drink on top. You thank her and stir the contents of the drink with the swizzle stick popped inside.

“Is this seat taken?” an unfamiliar voice causes the hair on the back of your neck to prickle and you know immediately that it’s him.

Painting on a saccharine sweet smile, you turn toward the voice. A white man, standing at about 6’2”, is smiling down at you. The neon lights behind the bar reflect in his blue-gray eyes and his honey blonde hair falls in soft waves to his shoulders. “Please,” you say demurely and gesture toward the seat. You tell him your name and continue smiling.

“Ronan Carlson,” he introduces himself as he slides in beside you and adjusts the lapels on his leather jacket, a fake Rolex peeking out from his sleeve. He’s preening, you think to yourself. The bartender approaches from behind the bar and he smiles, the curve of his lips the opening act of his charming performance. “I’ll have what she’s having, thank you.” He pulls a roll of cash from the inner pocket of his jacket, flips through several bills, and pulls a $100 bill free before sliding it across the counter to her.

The bartender’s eyes widen in surprise and he winks at her. She nods her thanks and turns to make his drink.

“That was very kind of you,” I say, stirring my drink for the thirteenth time.

He shrugs and tips the baseball cap he’s wearing down over his eyes and you know it’s to obstruct the view the cameras have of him. “It’s only money, and I think I may have made her night.” He inclines his head toward the bartender whose head is bent close to the other woman’s. She’s smiling wide and shows her the $100 bill.

Internally, you roll your eyes hard, but externally you smile and look at him from beneath your lashes. “You must have a great job, what do you do for work?”

His hand flexes as he sets his drink down on the counter and you note the two chunky platinum rings he wears on his right hand. There are symbols etched into them offset by different colored stones, but you don’t want him to catch you staring as he answers, “I’m in business for myself these days,” he says with no further explanation. “Though I used to be in the military.”

You feign surprise, though you were hopeful he’d continue to divulge information. “The military, wow. Let me guess,” you pause and allow your eyes to slowly scan him from head to toe. You remember the profile. “Army…medic.”

“Reign it in,” you hear Hotchner’s voice through the earpiece. “Be mindful of how much you reveal to him. Don’t let him know you know more about him than he’s letting on.”

You watch him assess you and your read into him. One blonde brow creeps up toward his hairline and that wicked smile curves his lips again. “Excellent guess, how do you figure?”

Leaning on to your forearms, you push your drink aside and slide your hand over his and you don’t miss the way his fingers tense at your touch.

“It’s the hands,” you say coyly. “You look like you know how to handle yourself.” He relaxes under your touch and a heat ignites in his eyes that makes your stomach churn, but you don’t let it show on your face. “You look like you know how to handle a lot of things.”

He licks his lips and turns the ring on his finger. “Tell you what,” he says as he picks up his drink. He places the glass to his lips and downs its contents. “Why don’t we get out of here?” He looks down at you from beneath dark lashes. “And I’ll show you just how much I can handle.”

You stand up and flash him a grin. “Let me quickly freshen up and I’ll meet you out front.”

His lips quirk into a smirk, “I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

You smile as you slip away toward the bathroom. As you push through the crowd you inform Hotch that the unsub is on his way out.

“There’s a line growing out the door,” he answers over the earpiece. “Does the description match the profile?”

“To a T,” you answer as you push past a couple with their tongues in each other's mouths. The amount of patrons has increased dramatically over the last hour. The volume of the music makes it hard to hear through the earpiece. You push your way into the restroom and are surprised to find it empty. Fortunately, the outside noise is muffled. You begin to describe Ronan’s appearance and note the jacket and hat he’s wearing. “He’s wearing two oddly shaped rings,” you add. “I think it’s what’s caused the unusual injury to the victims’ faces.”

“I’ve got him. He’s cutting through the line toward the parking lot.” You hear the car door open and slam.

“Got it, I’ll be right there.”

“Good work,” Hotch says over the open line.

You smile to yourself as you unbutton your jacket, glad to be on the receiving end of his praise. For a split second you wonder what else you could be on the receiving end of if you continue to play this game with him. After the case, you remind yourself. Priorities. Priority number one is getting this sick bastard off the street, and he’s right here within your grasp. You shoulder the door as you reach for your gun, positioning your thumb over the rotating hood to dislodge your weapon from its holster.

Over the speakers, an employee is calling to celebrate someone’s birthday. The crowd is distracted and pushing toward the source of celebration. The bar erupts into an off key rendition of Happy Birthday but you don’t hear it as 30,000 volts of electricity course through your veins. Your muscles spasm and lock up as you fall forward. Pain radiates from your abdomen in waves that crash over you again and again. You try to tell your body what to do as strong arms catch you and pull you into a chest that smells like cigarette smoke, but your limbs don’t cooperate. You feel his nose root into your hair as his lips find your ear. “How’s that for capable?”

As he shoulders your weight and steers you out through the emergency exit you hear Hotch’s voice in your ear. “It’s not him!” There’s an edge of panic in his voice as he says your name. “Do you copy? It’s not him. He gave another man $500 to wear his hat and jacket into the parking lot. It’s not him. Do you have eyes on him?”

Dark spots the edges of your vision as he drags your dead body weight. You try to focus all of your ability on getting out any words that can signal to Hotchner what’s happening, any at all but your mouth feels like it’s filled with cotton.”

You hear the tinkling of keys and a door slide open. Pain rattles through your skull as he throws you into the back of whatever vehicle he’s operating. Pain slices through your wrists as zip ties slice through the skin there. Through tunnel vision you see him leering at you. He’s backlit by the streetlights.

As his fist flies toward you, you finally manage one word.

“Aaron.”

•

When you come to, the first thing you feel before the splitting pain in your head threatens to cleave your mind in two, is cold.

Your mouth is dry, but as you move to lick your lips you realize you can’t because there’s a gag in your mouth. You try to move your hands, but they’re bound too. Zip ties cut into each wrist, securing them at your sides on the legs of a wooden chair. When you try to shift the chair, you learn that it’s bolted to the floor and your legs are spread open; zip ties at your knees and ankles keep them apart. Except for your bra and underwear, you’re naked. He undressed you. You feel the wound from the stun gun before you glance down at your stomach and see the two bloody pinpricks in your abdomen. You feel your heart rate increase as panic begins to set in. Do not panic , you tell yourself as you take a steadying breath. The minute you start to panic, you’re dead. You close your eyes and piece together the last dredges of your memory.

Tony’s. Sitting at the bar. The unsub. Ronan. Hotch was in pursuit. And then there was just pain.

Hotch.

The pain in your skull is overwhelming and you’re not sure if you can feel the earpiece anymore.

“Hotch,” you attempt to say through the gag. “Hotch, do you read me?”

You close your eyes as hot tears brim along your lash line when there’s no response. The signal is out of range or the unsub found the earpiece and removed it.

A door creaks open on squeaky hinges and your eyes dart toward the source of the sound. Ronan walks through the door with a sick smile on his face. As he saunters toward you, he rolls the sleeves of his flannel up to his elbows. Without looking away from you, his arm drops to his side and he scoops a folding metal chair with one hand, carrying it with him as he edges closer to you.

You flinch as he cracks the chair down in front of you, forcing it open. He chuckles as he takes a seat. His eyes skirt the length of your body and you wish any limb were free to deliver a blow to his smug face.

He reaches into his back pocket and withdraws your badge. He flips it open and holds it up to your face, the way his eyes flit between you and your credentials makes your lip curl.

“An FBI agent,” he says slowly. He slaps your credentials shut against his denim-clad thighs. “Hot damn!” he shouts and whoops. He throws your badge to the wayside and it clatters against the cement floor. “I’m going to take my time with you.”

It could’ve been hours. It could’ve been minutes. The torture is unrelenting and the pain is unending. Your chest heaves as you brace yourself for the next surge of electricity. Ronan, if that’s even his real name, twists the knob on the amplifier and taps the jumper cable clamps in his hands together. He smiles when he hears the buzz of electricity between them. As he presses them into your thighs, you cry out in pain as the shockwaves paralyze your body and mind and the pain overwhelms you.

“YES!” he roars as he pulls them away from you. He’d taken his flannel off, but now he peels off his t-shirt, balls it up, and uses it to wipe the sweat off of his face.

With the voltage no longer coursing through your veins, you slump forward, chest heaving as your scrambled brain fights to stay alert.

He drops the cables and clasps your face in his hand, forcing your chin up to meet his wild eyes. “You just don’t quit, do you? You're special.” He strokes your cheeks with his thumbs as if he cherishes what he’s doing to you. “You are worthy of a god.”

When you come to Ronan is watching you. He’s leaning forward, elbows on his knees, chin resting on his clasped hands.

“She wakes,” he muses.

You glare at him and his brow pinches. He purses his lips together like he’s been stung, but his eyes are alight with amusement.

“You,” he says, gesturing up and down your body, “look beautiful.”

You don’t need to look down to know the number of bloodied burn wounds spanning the lengths of your legs. If you couldn’t keep track of any other thought, the count was all that kept you grounded. There were ten. Five on each leg. Your wrists and ankles bled from the way you’d pulled against them with every shock he delivered.

He reaches forward and this time you don’t flinch. He hooks two fingers into the gag and pulls it down over your chin, his fingers trailing your lips as he does so.

“Here,” he says, bringing a bottle of water to your lips. “Drink.”

You clamp your lips shut and turn your face away. He laughs and shakes his head. “Come on now, don’t refuse me. That’s not how you show gratitude when a god shows you mercy.”

You muster as much hatred into your stare as you focus your attention back on him. “Mercy?” you hiss, and your voice is hoarse from screaming against the gag. It hurts to speak. You pull against your restraints. “This is what you call mercy?”

“I’m only testing you to see if you’re worthy,” he says by way of explanation. "You've lasted longer than the others."

“Worthy of what?” you ask, but you already know the answer.

“To be my Hera.”

“How is what you’re doing to me, what you did to those other women, going to help you find her?”

“They weren’t worthy,” he answered. “They couldn’t take my power like you could, my lightning. They were false. They needed to be punished.”

He leans in, his lips close enough to yours that you can feel his smoky breath on your skin. “But you, you deserve to be rewarded.” Your skin bristles at his words. His lips find your jawline and you grimace as he drags them up the side of your face. When he pulls away, dried blood flakes onto his skin.

“Don’t be afraid,” he soothes as he smoothes your sweat-drenched hair away from your face. “You’ll enjoy it.”

Unable to suffer any more of his poisonous bullshit, you rear your head back and slam it forward. Pain explodes behind your forehead, but it’s worth it to hear the satisfying crunch of his nose breaking. He roars in pain and clutches his bleeding nose. White light blinds you as he backhands you and curses your name. His ring splits the skin of your cheek open. The force of the blow causes you to bite your lip and you feel your teeth cut into the chapped skin there. You spit blood at him, angering him further.

“You are false!” he screams, spittle flying from his mouth as he shoves the gag back into your mouth. “You are not her!” He moves to pick up the jumper cables, twisting the knob of the amplifier all the way up causing the bulbs overhead to flicker. You know this is it. If he touches you with those, it will kill you.

Bracing yourself for the killing blow, you go to the grave knowing you did not give in to this bastard.

It never lands.

Instead, three shots ring out and he’s falling to the floor dead at your feet. As the unsub’s body falls, Hotchner’s frame comes into view and a choked sob escapes your lips. He holsters his weapon and runs to you. Emily and Morgan are right behind him. Morgan passes Hotch a Swiss Army knife from his pocket and he makes quick work of the zip ties binding you to the chair. From the corner of your eye, you see Emily turn off the amplifier and check Ronan’s pulse.

Unable to hold yourself up, you fall forward into his ready arms, letting yours fall over his shoulders. Hotch drops to his knee to support your weight. “You’re okay,” he says as he pulls the gag free from your mouth and you sob into his chest. He smooths your hair back from your face, his eyes assessing the damage done to you. Blood stains his shirt, your blood.

“Morgan, your jacket.” Hotch orders.

Without hesitation, Morgan unfastens his bulletproof vest and unzips his jacket. He passes it to Hotch who drapes it around your shoulders in an attempt to preserve some of your modesty.

“I need a medic!” he shouts before directing his attention back to you.

Your eyes waver as you try to keep them open. You lock in on the depths of his warm brown eyes. “You’re going to be fine,” he says but his voice sounds far away.

“He wanted someone to be his Hera,” you say weakly.

“Don’t worry about that right now,” Hotch soothes.

You swallow and it hurts your throat to do so. Your lips crack open, “You found me.”

Hotch cradles your head against his chest. “Of course I did.”

You wince as the sound of a gurney crashes into the room, the metal wheels squealing as it draws near. Your head swims as you’re swept into the air and laid out on its cushiony bed. A light shines in your eyes and voices are overlapping. Blindly, you use what strength you have left to drop your hand off the side. Unable to focus your attention on where he is, you know he’ll hear you. “Don’t leave me.”

And as you lose consciousness, you feel his hand slip into yours.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

•

A steady beeping fills your ears as you slowly come to. Your eyes feel bruised and you don’t think you have it in you to open them, but you feel something around your wrists and bolt upright. Pain crashes over you in a wave. It was a dream. You’re still bound in that basement. The beeping increases, growing louder and faster. Someone says your name and you feel hands on your shoulders. You try to swing your fist and are surprised when your arm follows through and makes contact with flesh. Did you break through the zip ties? You hear your name again, clearer this time. A man. He’s asking you to stop, to relax.

“It’s me,” he repeats and says your name again. “You’re safe. You’re in the hospital.” He says your name again. “It’s me, it’s Aaron.”

You stop fighting and blink hard. Hotchner’s stern face comes into view, except there’s concern wavering in the depths of his brown eyes. His brow softens as you relax. A small smile turns the corners of his lips. “Hey there,” he says. A nurse rushes into the room and he raises a hand, “We’re fine, here. Thank you.”

The nurse looks at you and you nod. She looks unsure about leaving but ultimately relents. “I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake.”

Aaron cups the back of your head in one of his hands and gently begins to lower you back down onto the pillows behind you. You allow him to guide you and feel the tension ease from your muscles as your back sinks into the surprisingly plush hospital pillow.

As the adrenaline wears off, you’re finally able to take stock of your injuries as the pain quickly makes itself known. You feel your pulse beating in your skull, pounding at your temples, eyebrow, and cheekbone. With shaky fingers, you touch the places where you remember the unsub striking you. You feel a thick bandage taped over your right eyebrow and steri-strips over your cheek. Your lip is swollen from where you bit it.

Bandages encircle your wrists and there’s an IV stuck in your hand. You’ve been dressed in a hospital gown and the sheets are drawn up to your waist covering the burn wounds. You don't have to see them to know how bad they look. The pain is telling enough.

“Is he dead?” you ask, lowering your hand back down to the bed.

Hotch’s lips form a tight line. “Yes.”

You blink back tears as that information sinks in. “Good,” you whisper in a choked voice. You blink and allow your head to loll to the side. A colorful bouquet of roses and carnations dotted with plastic ladybugs and butterflies sits in a clear vase on the side table.

You smile, “Garcia?”

Hotch smiles in turn. “It was tough to convince her to go home and get some sleep, but I promised her I wouldn’t leave you alone. Even then, it was still a hard-fought battle.”

You chuckle and wince as the movement irritates your injuries.

Hotch telegraphs his next move, and you know it’s to avoid startling you. He cups his hand over your uninjured cheek and strokes the skin there with his thumb.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he says, and his voice sounds tired and pained. “I should’ve gone inside with you.”

“Hotch, don’t.” You reach up and wrap your fingers around his wrist. “Don’t do that to yourself. He didn’t know I was with the FBI until after he took me. If you’d been there, he might’ve pegged us as law enforcement and taken off. He might still be out there and we’d be finding another dead woman in a matter of days. You know I’m right.”

Hotch closes his eyes and heaves a heavy sigh. “I could hear you.”

“What?” you whisper. You try to sit up and wince as the movement stings the wounds in your legs and abdomen. Hotch stands and helps adjust the pillows behind your back before sitting back down in the chair at your bedside.

“Not for very long. He drove out of range, but I heard him speaking to you. I heard the blows land. I heard your head smack against the floor when he threw you in the van.” He stops and shakes his head. “I felt so helpless. I was afraid. I couldn’t get to you, just like,” his voice catches in his throat. “just like I couldn’t get to Haley.”

Your heart breaks for him as he speaks. You reach for his hand and take it, squeezing it. “Aaron, you did get to me. You saved my life.”

He clears his throat and swallows. “Yes, but we were almost too late.”

“But you weren’t,” you state, your tone firm. “Aaron, look at me.”

He hesitates and inhales deeply before lifting his gaze to yours. The corners of his eyes soften as he meets yours and you smile. You gently tug his hand, “Come here.”

Hotch glances toward the door and then back at you, “The doctor—“

“Isn’t going to do shit,” you finish. “I’m the one that endured hours of torture. Pretty sure I’m allowed some close comfort.”

He lets out a shallow laugh. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.” Standing, he shrugs out of his suit jacket and drapes it over the back of the chair. With one hand he loosens his tie until he’s able to pull it up and over his head. He tosses it onto the chair and circumnavigates the bed, assessing the best way to join you on the small mattress.

You groan as you slide over. Hotch reaches out to stop you but you silence him with a pointed look. “Mind the IV,” you say as you pat the space beside you.

Hotch acquiesces, using the tips of his fingers to raise the IV drip enough for him to slide into bed beside you. He slips an arm around you and drops the feed. It falls across his torso. The feel of his arm around you is comforting, like a security blanket, like safety. You relax into him, and rest your head on his chest. His lips brush against your bandaged brow.

“Not quite how I imagined we’d first be sharing a bed,” you joke softly as you nuzzle in deeper against the wide plane of his chest.

You feel him smile against your hair. “Only you could joke at a time like this.”

“If I can’t laugh at what’s happened, I’ll never be able to close my eyes at night.”

“Well, if that’s the case.” He rubs the bare skin of your arm in small circles. “I’ll be there until you can.”

You turn your head to look at him then, your heart full. This is happening. His eyes are on yours and you push yourself toward him ever so slightly. He closes the small gap between you and presses his lips to yours. It wasn’t hungry and primal like the kiss in the car. There would be plenty of time for that later. This kiss was light, tender…healing.

“Sir, I’m sorry. I tried to go home, I really did but as soon as I got there I—” Garcia’s voice abruptly cuts off. You look up and her initial look of surprise turns to one of abject joy.

You feel your cheeks flush as Emily and Morgan appear in the doorway behind her. Morgan’s eyes widen and Emily’s brow arches as a smile curves her lips.

“I, uh, brought backup.” Penelope giggles. She remembers she’s holding something. “And cookies! I couldn’t sleep, so I baked. I figured I could bribe you into going home and getting some sleep.” Her words leave her mouth at a mile a minute. “I thought you’d fight me on it, so I brought some muscle.” She gestures with a tilt of her head. “They’re the muscle.”

Morgan exhales and points a finger at you and Hotch. “Can someone explain to me what’s going on here?”

Emily elbows him and he drops his arm. She takes the tray from Garcia and walks it over to the side table where she places it next to the flowers. She winks at you as she turns back to Garcia and Morgan. “It’s about time,” she says.

Penelope laughs as she hooks her arm in Emily’s. “What's it been? Two, three months?”

Morgan guffaws. “Months?”

Penelope pats his face with a ring-adorned hand. “My sweet oblivious profiler. Come on, hot stuff.” She takes him by the hand and leads him from the room. Emily shakes her head and laughs. “Men.”

“Safe to say the team knows.”

Hotch releases a breathy laugh and kisses your forehead again. “I know what will be the first thing on the agenda at tomorrow’s debriefing.”

•

6 weeks. It had been 6 weeks since you’d pressed the elevator button that would bring you back to the office. The weight of your gun feels right where it sits upon your hip, your gait more familiar to you now than when it wasn’t holstered to your side. You nervously adjust the grip on your go bag. You’d packed and repacked it the night before.

This morning as you were getting out of the shower, you stared at yourself in the mirror. Your cheek had healed nicely though the skin on your brow that had been split by the unsub’s ring had scarred, severing the tail end of your eyebrow from the rest of it. The ligature marks around your wrists and ankles had healed and the skin was smooth once more. The stun gun had scarred your abdomen, but all that remained were two purple pinpricks of scar tissue no bigger than the size of an infant’s thumbnail.

Your legs are a different story. The front of your thighs are an array of mottled scar tissue. One burn had gone so deep that they’d needed to graft skin from your calf to salvage it. The wounds no longer hurt physically, but you’d woken up from nightmares on more than one occasion.

You were never alone though. Garcia worked remotely on secure laptops with VPNs as often as she was able. Rossi brought you home-cooked Italian at least twice a week and talked with you over numerous glasses of red wine. Reid brought black-and-white foreign existentialist films that you didn’t understand, but his enthusiasm as he watched made you happy all the same. Emily and Morgan brought coffee and donuts as often as they could and Hotch…if he wasn’t at the office or visiting Jack, he was with you. On several occasions, he brought Jack. Jack would sit on the bed beside you, playing with his toys, narrating the adventures of his action figures as Aaron stood in the doorway, smiling. At night, when you had woken in a cold sweat, Aaron was there with a washcloth to wipe it away. When the bandages had stuck to your burn wounds and it felt like your skin was being peeled apart, he got your pain medicine and helped change the dressings, holding you until the pain had passed.

You blink as the elevator dings, signaling you’ve reached your destination. You take a deep breath and smooth down the front of your blouse as the door opens wide. Everything looks the same, yet everything feels like it's changed as you approach the desk you occupy perpendicular to Emily’s. A smile crosses your lips as you see the Welcome Bac k card on your desk. Two vases of flowers sit behind the card. One is almost exactly like the one from the hospital so you know it’s from Garcia. The other, a bouquet of purple tulips, has a note attached to it. You open the note and read it.

Glad to have you back. Things haven’t been the same around here without you. -AH

Hotch. You should’ve known. You smile and tuck the note into your purse.

“Hey, hey, look who’s finally decided to get her ass back to work.” Morgan’s charming laugh is followed by Emily chastising him.

“Ignore him,” she says as she places a steaming mug of coffee on your desk.

“You’re a godsend,” you say by way of thanks and take a long drink. Two sugars, no milk, just the way you like. “Wow, Emily, that’s perfect. I needed this.”

“How come you don’t remember how I take my coffee?” Morgan asks pointedly.

She shrugs, “Chicks before dicks, Derek.”

You sputter and choke on your coffee.

“Look,” he says as he pats you on the back. “Her first day back and you’re gonna kill her.”

At that moment JJ passes by with a file in hand. She raises it in the air and gestures to the conference room. “We got a case.” She smiles at you warmly. “It’s good to have you back.”

Together, you, Morgan, and Emily enter the conference room where Reid, Hotch, and Rossi have already gathered. Once you’re all sat, JJ begins presenting the case. You review current victims and why the Sacramento Police Department has invited you onto the case

“Sacramento PD is expecting us this afternoon. We’ve got a long flight ahead of us. Wheels up in thirty, understood?”

A chorus of ‘yes sirs’ echo throughout the room. As the team gathers their belongings and moves to leave, you wait for Hotch to catch your eye. You wink at him before mouthing, “Yes, sir.”

#aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch angst #aaron hotchner criminal minds #aaron hotchner x female reader #f!reader #bau reader #behavioral analysis unit #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #aaron hotchner headcanons #aaron hotchner hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending #hurt/comfort #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner x y/n

[secretly-tumb1r]

Roadtrip - hotch x reader part 2

part one

summary: when hotch finally sheds his stubbornness, he decides to drive back to Quantico from New York, in an attempt to rest his punctured eardrum. You couldn’t leave him without company, so you join him.

warnings: 18+ MDNI, age gap (hotch in his late 40s reader in her late 20s), unprotected sex (p in v) oral (fem receiving), no mentions of haley

a/u: thank you guys so much for the support on the first part of this, you’re all so so sweet💞 i truly hope you enjoy this part too💞 xoxo

You’ve kissed people before, but never like Aaron. It was almost like you had been starved of his taste, and him of yours. The kiss was so rough and angry, angry at the fact you didn’t do this earlier. If you knew it would be this good, you would’ve jumped his bones the minute you saw him.

There was no doubt he was more experienced than you, he was a lot older too, but right now, you were both just as starved and as messy and impatient as the other.

The kiss was so impactful, you could feel your arousal start to pool in your panties. Looking for any sort of relief, you start grinding on his crotch, giving you easy access to it since you were straddling him while he was laying down. You could feel him get harder by the second and that only made you moan in his mouth.

He gently bit your lower lip as he moved down to kiss your jawline and lower to your neck, finding that sweet spot that made you arch your back and drop your jaw in a silent moan.

His lips explored your body as they reached your covered breasts. Big hands cupped both your tits as both index and thumb fingers pinched and rolled your nipples.

“fuck a-aaron”

“i know baby i know”

“please please” you were a moaning mess above him. He flipped you on your back so now he was on top of you, a coy smirk plastered on his face.

“what is it baby hm? cmon use your words sweetie”

the pet names made you wetter (if that was even possible) you needed him now.

“please f-fuck me aaron”

he chuckled deeply, laughing at how desperate you were. His hands moved down from your breasts to your lower stomach. He lowered himself on the bed on his stomach as he began to kiss your inner thighs.

“awh poor baby” he rubbed a finger on your clothed cunt, arousal seeping through it. “so wet” he looks mesmerised by your glossy panties. “all this for me huh baby?” you shook your head frantically and moaned, giving him the answer he wanted.

“don’t worry sweetie i’ll make it better” his big fingers hooked around the hem of your panties as he ripped them off in a sudden movement, the cool air hitting your weeping cunt, making you clench around nothing.

He pecked your swollen clit, and looked up in your eyes to see your reaction. Your head was thrown back, your hair messy. A bead of sweat rolled down your forehead, your body already so hot even thought nothing had happened yet.

He ran his tongue up and down your slit, gaining a hiss from your throat. He groaned. “fuck honey, you taste amazing” He started flicking his tongue up and down, he was a starved man and this was his last mean. Suddenly he put his finger up to your lips “suck” you gladly took it in and swirled your tongue around the tip of his finger, he let out a shaky breath as your spit coated his finger. He took it out your mouth with a ‘pop’ and teased your entrance.

Just as you were about to complain he he inserted his finger in your cunt, knuckles deep. His fingers were far bigger from yours giving you a pleasure you were never able to give yourself.

“you think you can take another one baby?” you nodded frantically and a low chuckle escaped him. He stretched you open when he added another finger, pleasure building deep inside your stomach.

His head lowered to suck on your clit, his touch was addictive. “fuck- ‘m close!” he started to pump his fingers faster as he looked up at you making eye contact. He looked too pretty between your legs, hair messed up and nose up aganist your pelvic bone. You could come just at the sight. Your hand flew to his hair as you started grinding on his face. Suddenly you felt it. You let go all over his face.

When he came up, his face looked delicious soaked in your arousal. He licked his lips and fingers clean as he kissed you deeply, allowing you to taste yourself, “please aaron need you inside” you managed to croak out between kisses.

Your hands flew to his pants button, undoing it quickly. “someone’s eager” he laughed and you could only moan.

You could see his bulge through his boxers, he looked so big.

Your mouth watered at the sight as you pulled down his boxers, his cock springing out proudly, leaking with pre cum.

“lay down baby” his gentle voice awakened something inside you, and you couldn’t help but do as he said.

His lips found your neck again as he aligned his tip with your entrance making you tense up. “relax honey” his hand started circling your nipple.

He finally thrusted into you, letting you accommodate to his size. He was massive, bigger than anyone else you’ve ever been with.

He started to move, picking out his pace, slow but steady. “aaron- faster please” you pleaded.

“oh you like it rough huh?” he cocked his eyebrow up. He flips you on your stomach pressing his large hand on your lower back to make your back arch.

You were a moaning mess. He rammed his cock in your pussy at an ungodly pace, hitting that spongy spot inside that made you mewl.

Aaron wasn’t the one to come quickly, but your sweet noises accompanied by the noises your sweet pussy was making around his cock was like a symphony, music to his ears.

His hands dug into your hips so hard he was sure it would leave marks. He wanted that. He wanted to mask you as his.

His strong hand moved to your front where he started circling your clit making you moan even louder.

“fu- aaron yes god! i’m gonna c-“ you interrupted yourself with pornographic moans.

“cmon baby let it go, make a mess on my cock.”

that was all you needed. You were sure you’d never had a better orgasm before, your pussy clenched around his cock making him cross the finish line too, you could feel thick spurts of come pairing your walls.

Aaron pulled out mesmerised by the mixture of your cums together. Two of his fingers collected the dripping come and pushing it back inside, groaning loudly. The overstimulation make you whinge.

After Aaron had cleaned you up and made you go to the bathroom (reid had told him about the dangers of utis after sex), you found yourselves cuddled in eachothers arms.

Your soft breathing acting like a sleeping pill for Aaron, and he was sure this was the best nights sleep he’s had in a while.

It became a problem that he tasted you because now he would never let you go.

OH MY GOD GUYS!! this was so hard to write😭 i love reading smut but writing it, not so much!! i gross myself out💔 HOPE YOU LOVED THIS PART please lmk down in the comments I LOVE YOU ALL SO SO MUCHHH💞💞 xoxo

@mrs-ssa-hotch

#secretly tumblr #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch angst #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch fluff #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch smut #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #watching criminal minds for the first time #hotch x oc #dom hotch #hotch x reader #aaron hotch hotchner #agent hotchner #ssa hotchner #hotchner x reader

[wispystar]

☁︎·̩͙✧

aaron hotchner

✦ = finished | ✧ = not finished

Feel free to recommend me some more fics! If there is any author that doesn't want their work on here pls let me know and ill remove it. Series are at the bottom. Be warned for spoilers. I will not be adding spoiler warings so tread lightly. please lmk if links arent working

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all i need to hear by @wildflowerluver

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: aaron’s comfort is all you need

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a solitary mistake by @luveline

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: You're not sure you're ready to come back. Hotch has total faith in you. Or, your transition back into the team after your abduction doesn't go as smoothly as you'd hoped. 

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bad ideas (and good results) by @hotchscvm

genre: slight angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: after aaron’s rejection, you enlist spencer’s help to make him jealous.

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Better Days by @/ssahoodrathotchner

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: Aaron gets shot and you reflect on your relationship while waiting for him to wake up in the hospital

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Brooklyn Baby by @amorechris

genre: fluff, gn reader(?), bau reader | summary: After a case that hit close to you, not only were the victims paper copy of you, and you had taken on a very heated standoff with the unsub. When you all return to quantico you are greeted with another case, however your boss seems to have a soft spot for you.

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cologne by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, gn but kinda fem reader (?), bau reader | summary: where the team find out about your relationship through some cologne

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coddled by @astrophileous

genre: slight angst, gn reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary:maybe him lowkey coddling reader when she gets hurt shortly during a case shortly after they start dating? Maybe the team wasn’t aware until they saw him fret this much when he had never done it to this level in the past? | tw/warings: mentions of injury, hospitals, traffic accident

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caught by @/hotch-stufff

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: they have been dating in a secret for like a year and the team discovers about them being in a relationship after drinking night out (the team without aaron and y/n meet up in a bar, which is next to a fancy restaurant and they will see them through the glass enjoying themselves. and bcs they are kinda drunk, they go inside and confront them about it

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Caring by @ssaaaronmontgomery

genre: angst, fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: Just imagine a heated argument between hotch and reader with “why do you even care?” and “because i care about you, okay!?”

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cough medicine by @ssahotchnerr

genre: fluff, gn reader, established relationship | summary: aaron and jack are sick so reader takes care of them

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Child's Play . ii by @yuly

genre: angst, gn reader, established relationship | summary: Hailey’s attitude towards you results in an unexpected argument between you and Aaron.

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cooking up trouble by @/ssahotchnerr

genre: fluff, gn reader, established relationship | summary: Thinking about reader asking Jack what Aaron’s favorite meal is and then reader surprising him by making it when he comes back from a case?

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Combat training by @kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: Where you and Aaron are dating, and you do your combat training with everyone but Aaron.

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dr. by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, doctor reader | summary: I was wondering that you could write a Aaron Hotchner x reader but the reader is a doctor and the team don’t know that you exist until hotch one day gets hurt and took to their hospital.

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deserving by @happiest-hotch

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader | summary: Aaron has a rough day being a dad, and you reassure him that he is very deserving of your family

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Divulgence by @laurensprentiss

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: You get more than you bargained for when a certain somebody reveals your relationship with your boss to the team.

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don't leave by @show-your-fangs

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship| summary: I hate seeing sad Hotch but what about Hotch being sad and feeling he’s inadequate but reader does a BIG/GRAND gesture and hotch is floored and becomes like cute puppy hotch and is all like

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do you mean it? by @helmihotchner

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: reader and Aaron are going through a rough patch in their relationship but no one in the team knows abt them. this is how it unwinds | notes: there is not a part two yet

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family by @/luveline

genre: fluff, fem reader, pregnant reader | summary: hi can i request girl dad!aaron i am such a sucker for him, anything would be amazing thank you so much

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frozen by @/thewulf

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader | summary: Aaron has a new neighbor, a sweet young woman. There's something between them. She new in the city and he invites her when he has the team over for a bbq...

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forehead kisses by @zvdvdlvr

genre: fluff, gn reader | summary: imagine him kissing you on the forehead when he finally convinces you to get some sleep after you've been injured in the field. Or when you get home from a long case and you're finally standing together in the privacy of your own kitchen just having a little moment or when you're sick and he checks your temperature by pressing his lips to your forehead

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Gone viral, gone wrong by @perpetuallyconfused10

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: Imagine Garcia "screaming" about a video, telling the whole team about it (except Hotch and Reader), and that video is on tiktok. When they spill something about the video, Hotch and Reader ask which video they're referring to, not knowing it's from a tiktok account where the person makes videos on Hotch x Reader (like edits taken from some interview where they look at each other, slightly touches and things like that) and it's a whole profile with a lot of videos like that! So the whole team teases them and they obviously like eachother!!

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gold star by @honeypiehotchner

genre: fluff, fem reader, teacher reader | summary: You’re Jack’s teacher and Aaron is basically your nemesis. Until he’s not. (Kinda enemies to lovers?)

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honey by @/luveline

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: you faint on the job and worry your unit chief

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hotch by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: When Aaron realises after 3 years of dating and 1 being married, that you still have him saved as “Hotch”

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hotchner frown by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: I have always imagined the reader sort of ‘mocking’ Hotch when he’s sporting the Hotchner™️ frown (like she pouts her lip and furrows her brows just like him) and he hates to admit that he finds it funny, well I can imagine the reader doing the same for their baby girl when she’s also frowny and she looks just like Hotch doing it, it’s truly trademark of the Hotchners and the reader is always SO delighted by it

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if things go bad by @/luveline

genre: angst, fem reader | summary: when an unknown intruder breaks into your apartment, you call hotch. he races to make it to you in time. | tw/warnings: home invasion, assault, attempted sexual assault, reader is badly hurt/held at gunpoint

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in the dark . ii by @/winterscaptain

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: But can you do a hotch x new bau member? Like her and hotch are already a thing and they try to keep it hidden (and they do for a like a month) before someone makes the connection.

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I won't let go by @0and0its0doctor0

genre: angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: You wake up thinking everything is perfect. In reality you've been stabbed. | tw/warnings: blood, stabbing

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I Wanna Hold Your Hand by @/reidscanehand

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: hotch knows surprisingly a lot about you or hotch having a very obvious crush on you

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Jealous? . ii by @slutforsilverfoxes

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: BAU!reader being married to Hotch but keeping her maiden name in the field to avoid assumptions and judgment. The team knows, obviously, but then a former colleague of Aaron’s from the Seattle office happens to be in town for a conference and wants to catch up over a drink. You can’t help but tease him, of course

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little family by @/wildflowerluver

genre: fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: Aaron stays at work later than expected (typical lmao) and s/o is watching Jack and he walks into his apartment and finds the two of them cuddled up on the couch/his bed asleep waiting for him

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Lover, Please Stay by @/ssahoodrathotchner

genre: angst, slight fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: you get shot and Hotch worries about you while trying to keep it together. 

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make up by @inkdrinkerworld

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: hotch and reader who've had a fight so he's testy and short fused with the team all day till david/emily call you to tell you to come over to the bau and sort it out so he's not so difficult to work with

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Pretty Girl by @thewulf

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader, slight bau reader | summary: Aaron Hotchner x F!Reader where the reader is actually a criminology or psychology professor and is good friends with Spencer...

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Protective by @headkiss

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: I LOVE the idea of protective Hotch constantly having an eye out for younger bau!agent who’s literally sunshine personified and the complete opposite of him!! Do u think u could write something along the lines of that—maybe him protecting her from something or just their dynamic?

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reckless by @ptersparkers

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: After two years with the BAU, you get the feeling that Aaron Hotchner isn’t your biggest fan. That’s too bad, because you really like him. | tw/warnings: reader gets kidnapped

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Realization by @writtenbysprout

genre: fluff, gn reader, established relationship | summary: waking up without you beside him gives him a fright

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Really hot boyfriend by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: When you told the BAU girls your really hot mystery boyfriend would come pick you all up, because Sergio can’t drive.

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smiley by @/luveline

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: when they're on the jet, yn is smiling a lot at her phone so the team starts to tease her because the think that she has a mysterious boyfriend. and she does, but he's sitting right next to her and he's also wondering who's making her smile like that since it's clearly not him

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spoiled plan by @tinyluvs

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Could you do reader being pregnant with Hotch’s baby but she accidentally blurts it out to the whole team, Hotch included at the same time? Thank you if you do!

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steady hand by @/headkiss

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: hotch catches you at the worst times, but you’re not mad about it. or: 4 times you need hotch’s help +1 time he needs yours.

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sick of maybe by @/luveline

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader, newly established relationship, hurt | summary: You worry your boyfriend is ashamed of you. This is very much not the case. Or, 5 times Hotch hid your relationship (+1 time he didn’t).

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sharing by @/wildflowerluver

genre: fluff, fem reader, | summary: 3 times aaron shares his clothes with you | tw/warnings: nsfw mentions, aftercare, injury, case details

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sick by @/luveline

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: bau!gf who desperately tries to hide the fact that she’s sick even when she’s burning up and can’t keep her eyes open, and Hotch who just wants to take care of her!!

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sir by @/thewulf

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader, adhd reader | summary: Do you think you could do a Hotch x ADHD reader where they are energetic and talkative all day since Aaron came back from a tough case. With the constant questions and comments Aaron gets irritated due to stress and says something like “can you be quiet for 5 seconds please” or “enough with the stupid questions, it’s annoying” and the reader ends up talking less with him and only responds with short answers and they try to suppress their ADHD ticks around him.

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sleep by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, gn reader | summary: Hi!! can i request a blurb for reader falling asleep on hotch? like where they're not together, just best friends and have lots of feelings for each other and reader just is so tired she falls asleep on his shoulder or lap and he just kisses her forehead and lovingly teases her about it later?

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secrets by @happiest-hotch

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: secrets get revealed after reader gets shhot | tw/warnings: gunshot injury, mention of blood

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secrets by @/ssahoodrathotchner

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: you and Aaron keep your relationship a secret. well, it’s a secret until the team finds out.

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soft spot by @greg-montgomery

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: Please just the team telling r about HOW MUCH OF A SOFT SPOT AARON HAS FOR THEM like god he’s literally such a grouch to Morgan and prentiss but he kisses the ground you walk on and they’re like BESTIE GET A GRIP HES WRAPPED AROJND YOUR FINGER bc reader is convinced he doesn’t share their feelings and he’s just being polite

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something more by @headkiss

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader, friends to lovers | summary: you and aaron are friends with feelings more obvious than you think. or: 5 times the team suspects you and hotch are dating +1 time they know it.

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suspicious . ii by @/greg-montgomery

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: bau groupchat with Jack stealing your phone and answering all the questions about you and hotch (and the fact that you're together rn)

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Snippets of Our Life by @hotch-stufff

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, reid reader, doctor reader | summary: You and Aaron’s relationship through visits to the hospital.

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Secret admirer . ii by @/greg-montgomery

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: bau!reader coming to work and finding a sticky note with puns about coffee not knowing its from hotch. every time he watches from his office just to see her giggle

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Some Kind of Love . ii by @ssahoodrathotchner

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: Aaron comes to work with a cold and you make it your mission to take care of him

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team building by @ddejavvu

genre: fluff, slight angst, gn reader, bau reader | summary: Summary: Hotch whisks you away for a team-building session after you reveal to him that your short time at the BAU hasn't been quite enough to assimilate you into the group. You have a wonderful time, you're just confused as to why he leaves the rest of your team behind.

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to be enough by @the-modernmary

genre: angst, fluff, gn reader, established relationship | summary: During a movie night with your boyfriend Aaron, you accidentally stumbled onto his old wedding video, and it makes you wonder if you could ever compete with his first love?

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Too Hot, Hotch Damn by @imaginethebau

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: There was an imagine for telling Garcia Hotch put’s the “Hot” in Hotchner and for Hotch to pick the reader up from a bar after they’ve been drinking. This fulfills both

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the mark of a lover by @/wildflowerluver

genre: fluff, fem reader | summary: 5 times aaron had to adjust to physical affection and the 1 time he accepts it

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The Goodness, Love by @reidscanehand

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Hotch comes out of WISTEC and there are a lot of unsaid feelings

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the scent of home by @htchnr

genre: fluff, gn reader, established relationship | summary: Aaron comes home broken, so you do what you do best, you take care of him. slowly piecing him back together.

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the shimmer in your eyes by @reidersspencer

genre: angst, fluff, gn reader(?), bau reader | summary: aaron hotchner, the person you cant get along with, tells you his darkest secret in what he thinks may be his last moments | tw/warnings: injury, criminal mind things

-

will you be my valentine? by @/honeypiehotchner

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Each time a new member of the BAU figured out Hotch had feelings for you…and when he finally told you.

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"Who did this to you?" by @headkiss

genre: fluff, gn reader | summary: I’d love to see a “Who did this to you?” Hotch x femreader piece if you’re still taking suggestions! | tw: blood and broken nose

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with my life by @/thewulf

genre: angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Hotch x Bau!reader where readers boyfriend turns out to be the unsub. Maybe like a case where the bau gets attacked and threatened personally and the unsub generally knows alot abt them...

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under the weather by @/ssahotchnerr

genre: fluff, gn reader, established relationship | summary: Reader being sick, but still doing domestic things around the house and Aaron has to force the reader into bed to get some rest

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Unexpectedly by @/thewulf

genre: angst, bau reader, fem reader | summary: The reader is a member of BAU, but nobody knows her dark past. She's running from her abusive ex. Once he hurt her so bad (fractured skull, several severe injuries) he left her to die in their apartment. Nowadays she keeps that past hidden, as good as she can... | tw/warnings: Abuse. Both physical and mental. General Criminal Minds TW – talk of blood/gore/death/stabbing etc. AGE GAP between reader and Hotchner, reader is implied to be younger 25-35.

-

undercover by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: slight fluff, angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Hotch and BAU!reader are married, but the team doesn’t know? They always pretend like they don’t like each other, but then something happens (idk what exactly), and Aaron gets all soft and worried for his wife, and the team learns about their marriage?

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unexpected by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: i was wondering if you could write something where the reader is talking with the team, maybe with all of them maybe some, and they're discussing about how the reader is crazy about hotch and hotch accidentally overhears???

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Unwanted Attention by @emberfrostlovesloki

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Having to travel to the middle of nowhere Ohio for a serial killer was bad enough, add to the fact that the local LEOs are looking a little too hard at JJ, Emily, and _y/n_ was seriously testing Aaron’s resolve.

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Whiplash by @/ddejavvu

genre: angst, fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary:  You receive minor injuries in a car crash that Hotch manufactures to get a killer off the road. Despite having saved the day, he feels guilty for hurting you, and your professional relationship quickly spirals into something more.

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yours by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: i have brain rot for Hotch’s secret relationship with BAU!reader being exposed trope (bonus points if Jack exposes them) pls help me get through this

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Your Girl by @/kryptonitejelly

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Hotch and the reader aren't together yet but he (and everyone else on the team) have noticed that the reader has really started to gravitate towards him? Like in high anxiety situations or just in general the reader is always closest to hotch or looking to him for permission or comfort? he's just obviously become the readers favorite person.

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Your Son by @/greg-montgomery

genre: fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: imagine jack being sick and aaron coming in to check on him but jack asking for you and referring to you for the first time as mom. something along the lines of "can you ask mom to come lay down with me?"

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You’re Losing Me by @natashasfilms

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader, lovers to exes to lovers | summary: Dating a colleague has always been an exhilarating experience. However, as you reach a point where you’re ready to take the relationship further after spending years together, doubts start to creep in. You begin questioning whether you’re the only one putting effort into saving something that seems to be slowly fading away. | tw/warnings: drowning, criminal mind things

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You're Losing Me . ii by @14buddy22

genre: angst, fem reader, established relationship | summary: Aaron will always put the bau before you and you have to come to terms with that

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✧ A Joyful Future by @winterscaptain

genre: fluff, angst, fem/gn reader, bau reader | summary: follow readers journey of becoming a bau agent and falling for their boss | notes: this is such a good and well written series!! These can be read as oneshots or as a series, so have fun!! Also some chapters have smut so be wary

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✧ cross the line by @hufflepuffhaze

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: longtime colleagues aaron hotchner and y/n’s working relationship quickly develops into something more…and everything changes when their rendezvous are exposed within the bureau. | notes: most likely discontinued

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✧ learning to trust . ii . iii . iv . v by @svu-ncis-criminalminds

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Things with your boss were becoming complicated, but they became even more complicated when an Unsub sought you out and began targeting you. Can a relationship that hasn't even officially begun survive this?

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✧ Profiling 101 by @little-diable

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader | summary: The reader enrolls in professor Hotchner's class "Profiling 101", a man she has always looked up to, a man who treats her like an asshole from day one. Will her need for academic validation manage to push the two closer together? Will her bright mind push her into the world of Aaron Hotchner and the BAU team? Will he manage to keep his distance before the world he tries to protect her from can get its grasp on her?

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✦ Right where you left me . ii . iii by @mischiefmanaged71

genre: angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Did you hear about the girl who was ripped from a fantasy with only a few words?

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✦ While you were sleeping . ii . iii by @/reidscanehand

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader | summary: while you were sleeping but aaron hotch and spencer reid

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more this way —-> aaron hotchner . ii

#♡ — fics #Aaron hotch x reader #Aaron hotch fluff #Aaron hotch angst #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner angst #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fluff

[thewulf]

Always || Aaron Hotchner

Summary: okay so hear me out, Y/N gets hurt like stabbed or shot during a case but fails to notice. Like clearing a crime scene and all, and then hotch comes up to them just to check up cause its been a hard case.... Read Rest Here

A/N: This got really steamy, really quick. Idk why but it’s fun and I love it. No smut, allusions to it thought :)

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Y/N

Word Count: 3.7k +

Shots rang out in every direction disorienting you from both the screaming, gunfire, and smoke littering the small room. This was your least favorite part of the job. The one where you saw the most death. Seen the most gruesome ideas come to life. Seeing evil in it’s true form.

More yelling. You could hardly hear but it sounded like Derek and Hotch. You put your hands up to your ears and flinched feeling a gooey viscous liquid coat your fingers. How close were you to Spencer’s gun? You turned looking for Spencer who was already running towards the unsub. How were they so coherent? You felt dazed and confused.

You grimaced when you saw your fingertips coated in blood. Were your ears bleeding? Time seemed to slow as you walked forward trying to see what in the hell was going on. Adrenaline coursed through your body as you watched Morgan handcuff the unsub who was smiling with an eerily calm demeanor staring right at you. His lips moved but you couldn’t quite make out what he said. It sounded like muffled waves underneath the ocean surface rather than words. You scrunched your nose turning your head to the other side. You could hear out of this ear.

“…just surprised she’s still standing. Doesn’t look too good does she?” You’d managed to make out once you’d turned your head to the right towards him.

Hotch never took an unsub to heart but when his eyes did roll over to you a wave of concern washed through his face. There was blood pouring from your right ear. You seemed to favor only one side as you leaned harshly on the wall. You looked like you were there, but you weren’t coherent. You were going through the motions. Doing what your brain told you to do.

“Shut him up. Lock him up.” Hotch mumbled before making a beeline straight towards you. You. His favorite agent and maybe even favorite person besides Jack. The two of you had grown close as friends after Haley’s death. You were there for everything. As much as he adored you he was terrified to make a move. What if you’d reject him and ruin it everything? He couldn’t bear the thought of losing you as a friend. So, he made himself content with it.

But seeing you beaten up like that had him scared. The fear started coursing through him as he scanned you over once more. You were beat. Tired, so damn tired. The entire team was. The case was more than hard. Almost impossible. Almost a kill a day, the pressure was on from the start.

“Hey,” He placed a gentle hand on your shoulder walking to your left side, the side without the fucked-up ear.

You jumped a mile into the air not expecting him to come over. You thought they were going to deal with the unsub first not come to you. You felt awful. Your head was pounding. You felt the blood seeping out of your ear. Your side was aching.

“Jesus Hotch.” You winced not used to hearing your voice after whatever happened to your right ear.

“Sorry,” He gave you a soft look, even by his standards, “I think you ruptured your ear drum.” He pointed to the suspect ear.

That’d explain the blood and the hearing loss. You nodded quickly, “Ouch.” A soft smile came to your lips starting to feel the pain shooting from the ear drum.

He nodded, “It hurts, I know. Are you okay other than that? Any other injuries?” He continued to look you up and down looking for anything else. You were acting weird. Weirder than if you’d just ruptured your ear drum. Completely lost in the plot.

You shook your head almost immediately regretting that. No sudden movements with a ruptured eardrum, noted. Aaron noticed the pain course your face and called for an ambulance. An ENT would need to fix your ear, he knew that much having gone through the same thing not that long ago.

“Sorry, no I’m fine. I’d think I’d know if I got shot.” You’d joked before pushing yourself off the wall. That was your first mistake. Because the second you stepped out you felt a huge surge of pain erupt from your abdomen.

The gasp wasn’t lost on Aaron. Immediately he wrapped his arms around you pulling you to the chair that decorated the room, “Where does it hurt Y/N?” He said sternly knowing he needed to get this information from you quick before you passed out.

You pointed down to your left side before gasping for more air. Maybe that’s why the bastard was looking at you with an impressed smile. He knew he hit you. You were his target. Shuddering you winced seeing Aaron’s face full of terror and realization. Getting back on the radio he called for EMT’s again now reporting a gunshot wound to the abdomen. Damn. You’d managed to do this for almost five years injury free. It was only a matter of time really.

“Can you hear me?” He pressed down into your side eliciting a soft groan from your throat. Pain shot from your stomach as he stopped the bleeding. Rationally, you knew he needed to, but damn were you in pain.

He looked away quickly after seeing you break out in pain, “I’m so sorry. I have to. The paramedics are on the way. You’ve lost a lot of blood already.” He cursed not seeing the blood through the black on your clothing. Maybe he out to make it a requirement to have something not black on. He wasn’t usually so messy, but it was you. You were on the ground in his arms bleeding from far too many spots. You. The woman he knew he loved. This couldn’t be happening all over again. He couldn’t panic not now. You needed him, more than ever.

“I can hear you.” You mumbled out feeling the effects of everything hit you in a huge wave of exhaustion.

He let out a small breath of relief putting all the pressure he needed to on your stomach, “They’ll be here soon.”

“I believe you.” Your eyes were fluttering closed feeling utterly exhausted after the extensive investigation and now this. A series of unfortunate events truly.

Aaron began panicking seeing your deteriorating state, “Hey, hey Y/N. I need you to open your eyes. Let me see those pretty eyes.”

You hummed smiling up at him. He was always so sweet on you. Making sure you were taken care of before he was, this must’ve killed him, “You’re going to make me blush Hotch.” It took far too much effort, but you opened them back up. If for nobody but him. You could keep them open just a little bit longer.

He smiled seeing you still so happy even in this state, “Thank you. Keep them open. They’re upstairs now. Just a little longer.”

You nodded. For Aaron. The second you were loaded in the ambulance you were a goner though. Letting yourself succumb to the blackness.

You’d been discharged a day later. Hotch was insistent you went to his place, but you refused. Refused to disrupt his routine with Jack. The first few hours were difficult trying to figure it all out on your own, but you soon became re-aquatinted with your apartment.

A soft knock wrapped at your door as you were watching a stupid reality show. Hobbling over to the door you swung it open only to be met with Hotch standing there. Looking as handsome as ever in a pair of jeans and a hoodie. You’d decided the man could rock any attire long ago. He just looked good in anything. Maybe it was the man more so the clothing.

“Hotch, what are you doing here?” Tilting your head to the side you spotted the soup in his hand.

“It’s Aaron when we’re home. I brought some soup. And I want to help you.” He gave you the ‘duh’ look waiting for his invitation inside.

You rolled your eyes walking towards the kitchen, “Whatever Aaron, come on in.” You knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer. What you weren’t expecting was for his arm to wrap around your waist, pulling you towards his side.

He’d never been so handsy with you before. Not that you’d ever been injured before either. You weren’t able to stop the small blush that rose to your cheeks. You hated to admit how damn good it felt to be at his side. So close to him.

“Thanks, Aaron.” You let yourself lean on him feeling relief at the weight off your side.

He shook his head, “Why aren’t you using your crutches?”

You shrugged, “They hurt. It was easier to just walk.”

“Stubborn. The most stubborn woman I know.” He lifted you onto the bar stool knowing exactly where to go for your kitchen utensils. He’d been over a few too many times for just a boss. You knew it. He knew it too. But you kept it silent. For now, anyway.

You grinned feeling far too thrilled he’d showed up, “Where’s Jack tonight?”

“With Jess. She understood.” Pouring the soup into a pot he heated it up for a few moments before serving you.

“Thank you, really. For everything. This. For showing up.” You looked at him with the utmost love in your eyes. Aaron Hotchner had swooped in and stolen your heart long ago. That’s why every date you went on dragged. Why nothing ever worked with guys. You adored him. Your heart belonged to him. The one guy who you probably couldn’t have.

“I’ll always be there for you. Always.” He leaned over the island giving your hand a squeeze, “Now eat.”

You grinned nodding your head, “This is so good. Chef Hotchner.”

He rolled his eyes this time, “Shush. Take those pretty eyes, look at the soup and eat.”

There it was again. It had to be intentional now, “Pretty eyes? Hmm?” You’d challenged him before looking away.

He cleared his throat leaning close, “The most beautiful eyes I’ve ever had the pleasure of looking into.”

“Oh, stop it.” You couldn’t handle the sweetness. The sweetness that you could really never call yours. It hurt you.

“It’s the truth. I always tell the truth.”

“So why are you telling me?” You scraped the bottom of the soup bowl. Well, it was happening. The conversation you’d managed to avoid for years was about to happen. The one that could potentially ruin your favorite thing the world, your friendship with him.

He shook his head, “Why not? Y/N, you’re beautiful. Inside and out.”

It felt like the room was spinning. You’d dreamed of it really, but could it even be a reality? “Because it can’t happen Aaron.” You looked up to his beautiful eyes swimming with emotion. He looked so handsome standing across from you.

“Again, why not?” Was he playing dumb?

“Because you’re my boss Aaron.” You spoke plainly as if it were the most obvious thing. It was the most obvious thing in your head.

He shrugged, “It’s not against company policy completely. We’ll talk to Strauss. She’ll understand.”

You gave him crazy eyes, “Will she Aaron? Because I really don’t think she will.”

He sighed knowing you were probably right but that was a problem for tomorrow. You was what he wanted tonight. He needed really, “I’ve loved you for years Y/N. I’m tired. Tired of hiding beyond walls that don’t need to be there. I love you. Jack loves you. We need you. Please, Y/N. Just say you’ll try.”

It must’ve been the way he was looking at you because damn, your insides turned to mush. All thoughts and reasons seemed to fly out the window as you looked into his eyes. Man, as much as he was a sucker for your eyes you felt the same about his, “Jack loves me?”

He erupted in laughter, “I tell you I love you and you ask if my son does?”

“Well?” You ignored his question waiting on your to be answered first.

He nodded shaking his head with an emerging grin on his face, “He does. Quite a bit. Talks about you all the time.”

You broke out in a small happy dance, “I love that little man.”

“What am I?” His eyes crinkled as the smile grew on his face. You loved that smile. While it was rare at work it came out often when you met outside of it.

“Handsome.” Answering quickly, you looked up to see his reaction.

It took him a second to process what you really said before he broke out into another smile. Pointing his finger right at you he spoke, “You are so damn lucky you’re as cute as ever because you are killing me over here.”

“Well, that’s certainly not my intention Mr. Hotchner.”

He’d never admit just how much your words affected him. You had him in a tiny little chokehold and you didn’t even know it, “What are your intentions then.”

Some rather inappropriate thoughts flashed through your mind before you turned your attention back to him. He had a rather hearty smirk stuck on his face. One you’d like to wipe clean off, “We’ll save that for another day.”

He stood back up walking over to you. He turned your barstool to face him after making sure you’d finished your soup. He cocked his head to the side memorizing your face in his mind. Every little detail. Freckle. Line. Bump and color. Every little detail was perfect.

He used his leg to brush your knee to the side so he could stand a little closer. Your heart was about to explode feeling his presence so close, “Oh? Because I know exactly what I want with you.” His gaze darkened seeing you look up to him so beautifully. Your cheeks were flushed, lips plump and eyes dazed. You were in love too and he could see it right through you. Open like a book ready for him to take and read.

Those nasty thoughts came back to the forefront of your head. He was too much and not enough all at once, “Dare I ask?” You mumbled up to him.

He shook his head leaning down, “We’ll leave that for another day sweetheart.” His voice came out husky sending a chill down your spine. Hunger formed in your stomach. For something different this time. For him.

Then you registered his words. Asshole. You should’ve seen that one coming though, “Aaron?” You asked, your desire becoming too strong.

“Yeah?” He smiled down at you amused at your sudden draw right to him. He was doing something right, he knew that. He’d give anything to have you look at him like that all the time.

“Can you kiss me?” You sounded breathless. Desperate. Needy. So unlike you. What the hell did this man do to you?

He cupped your cheeks in his hands sending chills right through your entirety. Shuddering your eyes found his gleaming, “Are you sure?”

You nodded nuzzling your cheek into his side of his calloused palm, “I’m positive. I’ve loved you for years too.”

He grinned, “We’re two fools.” Rubbing his thumb along your cheek he gave you one last out before he went in for it.

“Two fools in love.” You mumbled closing your eyes, waiting on his move.

He nodded in agreement leaning down. He brushed his lips over yours. You’d had enough of the teasing and closed the gap. You weaved a hand through his dark hair pulling on the ends as your hands explored. You drew a soft gasp out of the man before he pushed in even further. You slid along the stool back all the way against it fighting for dominance in the kiss. Aaron wasn’t giving in as his hand snaked along your wait pulling you into him.

A breathy moan escaped from your throat at the sudden closeness. You felt everything. The hardness of his chest. The flushed skin on his collar bone. The bulge at his crotch. This was happening, it was really happening.

He broke first taking raspy breaths shaking his head at you, “Jesus Christ Y/N. You can’t… You can’t make sounds like that.” His voice sounded raspy, ragged. A tone you’d never heard from the man. Something out of control about it. Proud that you were able to draw it out so soon.

You blinked innocently up at him. Knowing it’d drive the poor man mad. He was trying to hold onto any strength he had not to swoop you up into his arms and throw you onto your bed. He wanted to have his way with you. Relish in the moment. Worship your body. Learn every surface of your skin. Every scar told a story he needed to know. He made a promise he’d ask you about every single one. He was utterly, madly, in love with you.

“Why not Aaron?” You brought the doe eyes out. A sure-fire way to get any man within your grasp. There was so way Aaron Hotchner was immune.

But you were injured. He couldn’t scoop you up and have his way. He needed to restrain. And he couldn’t when you’d made noises like that. No matter how fucking pretty you looked with those huge eyes looking so damn innocent, “You fucking know why.” He took a long breath as his nose brushed against yours. God damn, he smelled more than divine. It just wasn’t fair.

“Elaborate.” You challenged him. A weird confidence overtook you knowing he desired you as much as you needed him.

“Shut up.” He leaned down once more closing the gap quickly by locking his lips on yours once again. You’d have been angry how he spoke to you if it weren’t so fucking hot. A fire spread throughout you as you pressed back into him relishing in feeling of him.

You snaked your hands below his shirt after ripping it free from the bind the belt had on it. He let out a guttural groan as your fingers traced every nook and cranny of his chest. You grinned into the kiss knowing you had him in a chokehold.

He must’ve not liked that. Aaron liked to be the dominant one. The one giving orders. He didn’t appreciate you having the upper hand so damn easily. He pulled you ever so much closer lifting you right out of the seat you were sitting in being ever so careful not to pull on you where you had just been shot a day prior.

He laid you down on your couch admiring you’re for a quick second before carefully placing himself over top of you, “This wasn’t how I pictured my night going this morning.” You admitted loving the feeling of his body gently pressing into yours.

“Hopefully it’s better.”

You nodded still breathless, “So much, Aaron. So much better.”

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered before going down to kiss along your neck. Butterflies erupted from your stomach as you took the time to memorize him. His beauty. His ruggedness. Him. Your Aaron.

You pulled him back down, truly at a loss for words for once in your life. He grinned feeling your neediness. This time he took control and snaked his hands along your waist. Running creeping hands along the band of jeans. Your hips bucked up at the feeling drawing a soft tisk from the man.

He ran his hands up your right sides careful to avoid the patched wound. His hands danced along the edge of your bra drawing a much louder moan out of your mouth. God, you wanted him more than anything right now. A deep fire lit within your core spreading throughout. Fuck this injury so hard right now.

A dark look you’d never seen from the man came to his features, “I said no noises like that love.” He took a steady breath trying not to lose control for your sake.

You shook in utmost anticipation, “I can’t help it Aaron.” Your pupils were blown in lust wanting nothing more than to rip his stupid shirt off.

You were actually trying to kill him, “Don’t sound so whiny sweetheart.” His voice dropped an octave as he kissed along your chin, cheeks, nose, forehead. Anywhere but your lips.

“Aaron.” You ignored him only whining some more. You needed him closer. You ran a hand along his back trying to pull his closer. He gave in only a little. Still

“Patience.” He leaned down kissing you hungrily letting his emotions get the best of him as your hands explored his body. He pressed in even further enjoying this far too much. You were so overly intoxicating to him it was starting to hurt.

He placed his elbow on either side of your face for best accesses and let his emotions take over. Lust. Pure unadulterated love and lust for you.

Your twisted to get a better angle at his lips. Big mistake. You let out a small squeak feeling the pull of the stitches from the gunshot wound. A shot of pain quickly came to and vanished from the wound reminding you to calm the hell down.

“Honey, I’m so sorry.” Panicked, he shot right off of you.

“It’s okay! I’m okay!” You sat up quickly wincing from the movement, “I forgot for a second. I just moved too quick.”

He nodded taking a seat next to you. He placed a gentle hand along your thigh caressing it softly, “I’m sorry. I got carried away. I know better.”

You shook your head, “It’s okay. I promise I’m fine. More of a surprise than anything.”

As much as he didn’t want to say it he needed to, “That’s enough, for tonight at least.” A small grin came upon him as he looked forward to his future endeavors with you.

You sighed leaning your head into his shoulder, “You’re right.”

“A broken clock is right twice a day.” He joked never giving himself enough credit. Too humble for his own good.

“I love you.” You whispered letting yourself relax fully next to him.

“I love you always.” He kissed the crown of your head savoring in every second he got with you. Relief washed over him as he wrapped an arm around your side letting you fall asleep on him, “Always.”

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#criminal minds aaron hotch #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotcher #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner fluff #hotchner x you #hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x you #hotch x you #aaron hotch x reader #hotch x y/n #hotch x reader #aaron hotch angst #feral hotch friday #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fanfiction #hotch #ssa hotchner #aaron hotch imagine #ssa aaron hotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n

[writtenbysprout]

Realizations

It's 2.47 am when Aaron wakes up. Eyes still closed as he stretch out his arm to where you always lie. Wanting to pull you close so the two of you can cuddle close. That way he can drift back into sleep knowing you're safe in his arms.

But when his hand only finds the mattress he freezes in his spot. Opening his eyes he looks at the empty spot next to him, before he glances over at the master bathroom connected to your bedroom. But when he sees no light underneath, his thoughts immediately jumps to the worst conclusions.

Two thoughts strike his mind at once, both equally as terrifying to him.

The first is that you left him. Just like Haley had. It was one of his biggest fears. Even though you time and time again reassured him that you won’t leave, that you're there to stay, the thought managed to slip into his mind.

The second, you're kidnapped. From right underneath his watch. Something he would never forgive himself for. He took great pride in being able to protect his own. Knowing the comfort it brought both Jack and you, and not to mention himself.

All of his spiralling thoughts quiets down as he hears your hushed voice from outside the door.

"Feeling better now, Jackers?"

His heart skip a beat upon hearing you're safe, but he stays put. Curiosity taking control. He could barley make out the reply as Jack's voice is faint and frail compared to yours.

"'m sorry I woke you up.."

"Don't be. I'd rather have you safe than being asleep." A warm feeling spread though his chest as he hear your words. He feels lucky in that moment to have you in his life. To share you with Jack.

"Just scared that somethin' will happen to daddy."

Then the sinking feeling hits him. The guilt. His biggest enemy. Especially when it comes to Jack and you. He knows the two of you support him endlessly, but that doesn't stop his thoughts from spiralling again.

He isn't around as much, but when he is he does everything in his power to make it up. He miss a lot of the important achievements that happens in both your lives, but you make sure to take pictures and videos so he can keep up. It doesn't stop the guilt, but your words always lessen the grip it has on him.

"I am too Jackers, but your daddy is the bravest and toughest man I've ever met. No one can hurt him, let alone the goblin man from your nightmare."

Your voice fades as you make your way past the master bedroom and down the hall towards Jack's room. And before he can stop himself he's up on his feet, sneaking closer to the door. His head pops out of the door way just in time to see your silhouette carry Jack in your arms, his arms wrapped around your neck.

You place Jack in his bed, handing him his stuffed monkey. Jack's eyes are still a little puffy as he watches you tuck the two of them in. Only when you lean down to hug him goodnight does he speak up.

"Can you stay? just till I fall asleep.."

"Of course, want me to read too?"

Unbeknownst to you Aaron stood in conflict of revealing his presence or to watch the two of you have your moment. He decided upon the latter and makes his way back to bed.

"Alright, ready? is Mr Tubbs ready?"

Jack nods and hugs the monkey tighter to his chest. Carefully not to read to loud you continue from where you know Aaron left off hours earlier. You barely get passed the first page in before Jack has drifted off.

Just to make sure he's fast asleep you sit a few minutes longer, but as soon as the light snores escapes his small frame, you sneak your way back to Aaron.

You try to slip in quietly, but can tell even in the darkness that he's awake and has been for a while. Upon seeing you he lifts up the duvet. A silent request for you to join him. You don't have to be asked twice. Crawling into bed you snuggle close in his embrace, feeling his arms wrap themselves around you.

"Didn't wake you, did I?" you mumble into his chest.

"No no, just got worried when you weren't here."

"Oh Aaron, my love," You snuggle closer, now resting your head in the grope of his neck. "'m sorry. 'was just comforting Jackers after a nightmare"

"I know, sweetheart."

"Gotta look out for both my boys, y'know." It's clear to you both thet you're on the brink of falling asleep at any moment, but you pushed yourself up so you're face to face with him. Softly planting your lips on his as a reminder of just how much you loved him. "I love my Hotchner boys."

Your words lulled him back to the safe shore in which he was about to stray from, just like you always did when his thought's got to invasive. Without you, his mind would've been utter disarray.

He didn't understand how he hadn't seen it sooner. Maybe he had, but didn't think of it as he did now.

You were the one. His one. His forever person.

He knew that for sure after having seen you be so gentle with Jack, even when he wasn't around.

Your breathing grew heavier by the minute and soon enough you drifted off into your own slumber. Even in your deepest realm of slumber you clung to him, nuzzled closer. He felt stupid for not having seen it sooner.

It was you. It had always been. But now he knew with certainty.

#aaron hotch #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner blurb #criminal minds #aaron hotch blurb #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fluff #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch angst

[sp1rit-realm]

༻¨*:· 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 ·:*¨༺

༻¨*:· summary ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 you and aaron weren't ment to be

༻¨*:· notes ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 aaron hotchner x gn!reader (no use of gendered descriptions) 𖦹 so much angst potential with him that i had to write this 𖦹 im sorry :( 𖦹 oh, in case you haven't already gathered, this is angst 𖦹 just i cant help what i write. it just comes out of my fingertips 𖦹 don't shoot the messenger pookies

༻¨*:· words ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 493

The bullpen is unusually quiet after this last case. The sound of keyboards clacking and files shuffling around irritates you so much that your leg bounces. You've always hated the nervous habit; Aaron was always there to soothe it. Placing a hand on your midthigh and rubbing up and down rhythmically in meetings and conferences. Sometimes, he started doing it even before your leg began to bounce. He always could tell when you were nervous; it's his job, after all. But now, Aaron's not next to you. He never is anymore. Now, you sit on opposite sides of the table during meetings, and at conferences, you sit beside Penelope.  

When you knock on the door, Hotch is buried in a stack of paperwork. 

"Come in," He mutters in his usual tone.

"Hotch, we need to talk."

His eyes flick up to you first, the rest of his face following, "L/n," He greets, "I don't believe there's anything to discuss."

You sigh, dropping your shoulders, "Aaron, stop pretending there's nothing between us."

His head bows, and he continues writing, "As far as I'm concerned, there used to be something between us. There is nothing left but friendship."

You scoff, "Really? There's nothing left? Aaron, stop with the bullshit. There's still something, I know there is." You insist. 

"L/n," The consistent use of your last name stings, "We are friends, and coworkers. That's it."

"Aaron," You plead, "I'm begging you to just talk about this. I need closure, Aaron."

He sighs, looking back up to you, "I gave you plenty of closure. We can't be together because we are colleagues, we need to focus on assignments, and we... we just can't."

"See? That's the part I don't understand. You just "can't." What does that mean?"

"We have lives to save, y/n! We can't afford distractions."

"So that's all I was? A distraction?"

His frown deepens, and he squeezes his eyes shut, "That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that you were distracting me from giving my all to this job. We can't be together, and that's that."

 "So that's it? We just ignore all of these feelings? All of this history? Just sweep it under the rug and pretend none of it existed?"

"What choice do we have? We have responsibilities. We can't risk—"

"Can't risk what, Aaron? Our friendship? Our... whatever this is?"

He looks down at his desk, "I can't lose you."

"Then why does it feel like you already have?"

He opens his mouth, but no words come out, and a silence falls between you with air so thick you feel suffocated. 

"I don't know," He whispers.

You nod once, an acknowledgment of his words—of the end of this conversation. 

And before you leave his office, he calls out for you, "L/n, I never have and never will regret what we had." A tear runs down his face, "Maybe in another lifetime."

You nod, tears mirroring his, "Yeah. Maybe in another lifetime."

D: oopsies

mutuals :D @ssahotchnerr @zvdvdlvr @maroon-winestain @mrsaluado

#aaron hotch #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch angst #hotch #hotchner #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x you #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x y/n #hotchner x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #x reader #criminal minds fanfiction

[exist4me]

Forgotten

cw: angst

word count: 568

Before getting into a relationship with Aaron, you knew his job was demanding. He often traveled and stayed late hours in the office determined to be the best at his job. It was one of the reasons you fell for him, he was hardworking and driven. But lately, you were beginning to feel neglected. The week leading up to your second anniversary, he was distracted and distant, you assumed he was planning a surprise for you guys but you were wrong. The day of your anniversary you woke up alone in your bed with a note by the nightstand. It read ‘emergency at work, I’ll be home at 10. Love you.’ You sighed disappointedly being left alone for your anniversary. Did he forget? No, maybe he has something planned when he comes back home.

In hopes of Aaron planning something later, you cleaned up the house and wore the dress you know is his favorite. You cooked dinner, borrowed one of Rossi’s recipes for lasagna, and bought gelato for dessert. While setting the dinner table you heard the door open. You walk to greet Aaron.

“Goodnight honey,” you said watching him take off his coat and tie.

“Goodnight darling” he pecks your cheek. You smile softly at him. He walks past the dining room heading straight to the bedroom. You feel your heartbreak. He didn't say anything about how you were dressed nor did he notice the food. He forgot your anniversary. You couldn't believe this.  You follow him upstairs, and you hear him in the bathroom getting ready for bed. You sit on the bed, tears threatening to spill from your eyes waiting for him. The bathroom door opens, and Aaron walks out in his sleepwear.

You stood up and looked at him, crying, ”you forgot-.” Your voice cracked. He looks at you surprised and confused. 

“You forgot our 2nd anniversary Aaron,” you whispered, sadly.

It finally clicked, you saw the realization on his face. 

“Darling, I am so sorry. Please forgive me, I've been so busy lately, it slipped my mind. Strauss has been on me this entire week and my mind was elsewhere. I don’t want to make excuses but know this will never happen again.” Aaron apologized. He was pleading for your forgiveness.

“ I didn't want anything special or grand, a simple happy anniversary would have sufficed, or a card but waking up alone and to nothing hurt me, Aaron. I even made us dinner, I wore your favorite dress. You didn’t even notice!” you cried out. Turning your back on him, you didn’t want him to see you sobbing heavily.

You feel his arms wrap around you. Hugging you, he rests his face onto your shoulders whispering apologies into your ear.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. Please look at me.” 

You turn around looking up at him. He cradles your face wiping your tears away with his thumbs.

“I love you. This will never happen again. I'll make it up to you. Please don’t cry baby.” he pleaded.

You drop your face into his chest as he rubs your back. You miss his touch so much. You stay in this position for a while before you finally stop crying.

“You have to make it up to me, Aaron, big time,” you demanded.

“I will darling. Believe me, I will. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you mumbled into his chest. 

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch #aaron hotch angst

[chr0llossexygf]

IN RUINS

PAIRING: spencer reid x fem reader

SUMMARY: spencer reid has always had something against you. during a particular case, spencer snaps and says something he shouldn’t have said leaving you in ruins. but what happens when your in danger and he still hasn’t explained why he reacted the way he did. will he have the time?

“ what happened?” hotch says standing infront of the big white board that had some very gruesome pictures of 5 victims splayed out on a park bench. he’s standing tall and strong with his hands crossed in his dark grey suit. he’s looking at you and spencer, who’s walking in right behind you slamming the door close.

“ It’s her fault.” spencer says quickly moving to the other side of the room opposite you, trying to get as far away from you as possible.

you take a deep breath in trying your absolute hardest not to roll your eyes and cross your hands in annoyance and disappointment. “ it’s not my fault reid-”

“ woah woah what the heck happened?” morgan says pushing himself back in the precinct chair watching you and spencer. he looks at spencer, he sees the strong look of disgust and annoyance spencer is shooting at you. he looks at you, he notices you looking at spencer with a disappointed look.

“ she told the unsubs family we are after the unsub-” spencer spits out looking over at hotch, waiting for him to yell at you or lecture you.

“ wait spence we don’t even know who the unsub is. what do you mean?” jj says turning her head to look at spencer confusion written on her face. “ exactly! thank you jj!” you reply throwing your hands up.

“ michael miller is our unsub hotch.” spencer says completely ignoring your attempt to reason with him, his eyes stay on hotch waiting for him to snap at you or just lecture you. “ wait a minute i thought michael miller had a solid alibi.” morgan says laying back in his chair resting his arms on the arm rests. “ he does have a solid alibi it checks out-” spencer cuts you off. “ it does not check out!” spencer says.

“ yes it does! hotch we asked his dad who confirmed his son came home at 8:30 pm from football practice.” you say growing impatient looking at hotch, hotch’s eyebrows are furrowed tightly. his arms are still crossed listening to you and spencer bicker back and fourth.

“ just because his dad showed the tiniest bit of concern about his son when the fbi showed up to his doorstep does not make him a reliable source, just because you never had a dad who showed any bit of concern and now when you finally see a dad care about their kid does not mean you should not fall into their trap just because you never had a trap to fall into.” spencer spits out finally looking at you.

he watches as your expression hardens. he watches as humiliation and embarrassment fill your once determined eyes, the determined eyes who tried to reason with spencer at-least 4 minutes ago. 4 minutes, that’s how long it takes for your perspective of someone to change. he watches as your eyebrows tremble, a habit you have when your trying to fight back tears. he watches as your throat trembles too, probably trying to fight back that agonising choke you get when your about to cry.

the entire room goes quiet. spencers gaze remains on you, slowly watching your soul shatter because of his words. your gaze remains on spencer, slowly feeling your soul shatter because of his words.

the door that spencer slammed close 4 minutes ago opens, rossi and emily walking in. “ michael millers alibi checks out. we’ve got pictures of him at football practice from 5pm to 8:25pm. he wouldn’t have had the time to commit the murders.” rossi says opening the door for emily. “ also his teammates described him as an extrovert and outgoing which is not what we profiled the unsub to be.” emily says with her hands inside her pockets nodding looking at everyone surrounding the table.

“ i feel as though we interrupted something.” rossi says eyeing everyone in the room raising an eyebrow in confusion. he could feel the tension. emily could too. which is why she immediately looks over at morgan for answers. morgan looks at her for a split second before returning his gaze on you.

“ y/n-” spencer attempts. he tries to bring himself to take a step towards you, but it’s like his words somehow built a barrier between you and him that he now can’t even physically cross. or maybe he’s just scared that if he takes a step towards you, you’ll take a step back. away from him.

you swallow the gut wrenching feeling of tears crawling up your throat. you look down to your converse. “ i’m gonna go…uhm get coffee.” you say turning around immediately walking towards the door. “ excuse me.” you whisper pushing past rossi and emily.

“ oh wonder boy..” garcia says through the tv screen, her bright purple tinted lips which usually wear a bright smile on her face now wearing a frown. her tone disappointed as she presses her heart eye fuzzy emoji pen into her cheek. “ i uhm did my usual background checking on the uhm..list of potential unsubs and a uhm…scott anderson has a sketchy background. i’ve just sent his file to you my pretties.” garcia says stuttering quite a few times finding it hard to sneak her usually bubbly nicknames into the conversation after what had just happened. “ thank you garcia. jj take y/n and check out scott anderson.” hotch says looking at jj his arms finally by his side.

jj nods standing up walking towards the door “ i-i can go” spencer says turning his body towards jj. “ stay.” hotch replies his voice stern and bold. he looks at spencer his eyebrows furrowed.

jj closes the door. “ sit.” hotch says to spencer pointing to the empty seat at the table, spencer slowly walks towards the seat sitting down. “ you shouldn’t have said that spencer.” hotch says crossing his hands. “ hotch-” spencer attempts but is quickly cut off, “ i’m not finished. I get it. your worried spencer. your scared-”

“ hotch-” spencer is cut off once again. “ you may think your hiding it well spencer but your not. we know the unsub is targeting female victims which have similar features to l/n. if your too close to the case spencer-” it’s spencer’s turn to now cut hotch off. “ but i’m not too close to the case hotch!” spencer replies. he wanted the similarities between you and the victims to only be in his head because he wanted only him, himself to notice the similarities between you and the victims. you both have the same hair color, hair length, both considered to be attractive, both have similar personalities, and similar taste in clothing. he didn’t want it to be true. but now he knows that they are, and they’re not just in his head he’s even more worried.

“ your stuttering spencer. you do that when your worried or nervous.” emily says pulling a chair from the table. spencer shoots his eyes away from hotch to emily’s. his gaze softens a bit, emily’s tone wasn’t like hotchs. it wasn’t as stern or bold. it was rather understanding and gentle. “ i just cant control myself around her.” spencer says looking down at the picture of the fourth victim who had been wearing the exact same pair of converse your wearing now. “ well your going to have to learn how to control yourself pretty boy. you shouldn’t have said that.” morgan says looking at spencer. spencer sighs hiding his face in his hands. “ i just..god i’m so stupid.” spencer groans rubbing his tired eyes.

“ stupidity is what ended my third marriage.” rossi says crossing his hands leaning against the bulletin board with a small chuckle, morgan looks at rossi and laughs. “ well thank god pretty boy isn’t married. he’d be the new rossi.” morgan says tilting his head to the side looking at spencer trying to lighten the mood, spencer who still has his head in his hands. there’s a million thoughts going through his head, all of them are about you. all of them are about how he should apologize. is he even allowed to apologize? will you let him apologize to you? would you accept his apology? what if you didn’t? did he just ruin his friendship with you? no screw friendship, he doesn’t just want to be friends. he wouldn’t be as sensitive as he is to this case if he just wanted to remain friends. he’s in love with you. spencer reid is in love with you. and he just potentially ruined any slight chance of ever having you know that he loves you. just because he’s stupid and didn’t think before he spoke.

“ are you okay?” jj says both hands on the steering wheel turning around to look at you next to her, in the passenger seat. your heads turnt towards the window, your picking at your nails. a habit of yours. you turn to look at jj and nod. “ yeah i’m fine why wouldn’t i be?” you ask tilting your head to the side with a confusing smile. you know exactly why your not okay. but for some reason, you just can’t bring yourself to actually be upset over it. what’s there to be upset about? what spencer said is true. he’s not wrong. why are you making excuses for him? what he said was not okay. totally not okay. why do you have to make excuses for every male figure in your life for when they’ve done something wrong? why do you always make them the victim and you the villain. you just don’t wanna lose them right? because you know that if your the victim and their the villain they’ll never apologise and the entire relationship will disappear, it always does.

“ what spencer said-” jj is talking in that tone, that tone that she would speak in whenever something was wrong. in a motherly kind of tone. you immediately shake your head, “ it’s- it’s fine jj really, i don’t care. can we just please forget it ever happened? lets just work on the case.” you say running a hand through your hair biting your lower lip trying to stop your voice from trembling, you know when your about to cry and you have that heavy feeling in your throat? you swallow it hard. you turn your head to look at the window not waiting for a response from jj. jj clears her throat, “ no yeah of course.” she nods smiling turning her head back around.

“ this should be it…” jj mumbles stopping the car, parked infront of a 2 story cabin. you unbuckle your seatbelt and open the car door. “ it looks like no one’s home, there’s no car. we profiled that the unsub would have a van or a truck..” jj says closing the car door looking at the house. “ maybe he wouldn’t leave something so valuable to him outside, to the eye of the public. he’s possessive he thinks the entire world revolves around him he probably thinks someone would try to steal it.” you reply reaching in your pocket for your id. jj doing the same thing. you two walk to the front door, you in the front,

you knock on the door. you put your hand against your hip waiting for the door to open. “ we should ask the neighbours. maybe they’ll know-” you knock on the door again. “ scott anderson. fbi.” you say knocking on the door again. jj puts both of her hands on her waist. “ looks like he’s not home-” your cut off by the door swinging open.

you immediately turn your head around. “ scott anderson?” you ask looking at the man infront of you. you know it’s scott anderson, penelope had already sent his id picture on the drive over. he looks at you, then looks at jj. “ who are you..” he says looking directly at jj. “ i’m agent l/n with the fbi and this is agent jareau. do you mind if we come inside?” you ask smiling holding up your id.

he doesn’t even bother looking at your id. “ yeah whatever.” he moves to the side, making room for you and jj. you nod turning around to look at jj. she nods. you step inside jj following you.

“ do you live alone?” you ask analysing the house, its organised. weird for someone that’s his age. “ uhm yeah i do. what’s wrong with that?” he asks crossing his hands. you chuckle, “ no no nothings wrong with that, i also lived alone when i was 17.” you reply smiling. “ i’m 19.” he says looking at you, eyeing you up and down smiling. “ your pretty organised for a 19 year old.” jj says raising an eyebrow also crossing her hands smiling. “ guess i was just raised that way.” he replies rubbing his lips together. you nod. “ how were you raised scott..if you don’t mind me asking.” you say looking around the house. “ yeah scott how did you manage to score such a house at your age. do you work?” jj asks grabbing a picture frame. “ no i don’t work-” he turns to look at jj. “ put that down.” he snaps speed walking to jj. you immediately reach for your gun.

“ right..sorry. you don’t like people touching your stuff.” jj replies throwing her hands up in defeat. he snatches the picture frame. he grabs it caressing it gently, jj looks at you with wide eyes. you raise an eyebrow in confusion. “ scott. why do you have a picture of my colleague framed?” jj asks looking at the frame scott’s holding. your eyes widen.

“ oh god oh god. where’s y/n and jj?” penelope says aggressively tapping on her keyboard. “ what? what’s wrong?” spencer is the first to respond shooting up from the office chair just at the mention of your name. “ they’re at scott anderson’s why?” hotch says turning around, away from the white board to the tv. garcia starts tearing up, “ i-i did some deep digging and scott anderson has a blog about y/n..” garcia says in a shaky tone. no. no. no. no. no not again please.

his heart stopped for a split second. his hand start sweating. the air has been sucked out of his lungs. why is it so hard to breathe? why is there no air to breathe? there’s a million thoughts running through his head, they’re still about you. but now they’re worse. your in danger. your with the unsub. the unsub who has already killed five people. your in the same house with the unsub. the unsub who has a blog dedicated to you. and the last time you saw spencer you were teary eyed. no it can’t be the last time. no. please be safe.

his sweaty shaky hands reach for his phone. he clicks on your contact. hotch grabs his phone and immediately calls jj. spencer immediately puts the phone up against his ear. it rings. rossi and emily immediately stand up, “ penelope send us the address to scott’s house now.” emily says walking to the door. it’s still ringing. spencer starts biting his nails. his hearts pounding. the ringing of the phone case is haunting him. what is happening on the other side of the phone. why aren’t you answering. you always answer the phone. why is it still ringing? y/n why aren’t you answering.

“ god damn it!” spencer shouts into the phone as it keeps ringing. morgan stands up, “ hotch we gotta go.” he says standing up shoving his phone into his pocket.

the ringing stops. spencer’s heart stops. his breathing stops. everyone in the room looks at spencer waiting for any kind of confirmation. “ y/n you’ve gotta get out of there with jj!” spencer says stuttering with a shaky voice. hes scared. hes so so scared. hes never been more scared in his life. it’s quiet. why is it quiet? why aren’t you answering? what’s wrong. god y/n.

“ hey mom.” you reply. spencer takes a deep breath in. he stops biting his nails. he wipes his wet fingers on his pants. his hearts racing. your in danger. why are you calling him mom if your not in danger. oh god. he feels like he can’t breathe again. he can’t focus. he can’t do this. he can’t do this. he can’t do this without you. breathe spencer. she’s in danger spencer. she’s all that matters.

“ y/n. god i…” he chokes. “ you already figured it out didn’t you.” he says his throat feeling scratchy. he hears you giggle on the other side of the phone, your laugh erupts the butterflies in his stomach. under any other circumstances he would absolutely hate the butterflies in his stomach and would be mad at you for making him feel such way. but now they bring a sense of comfort, they make him feel normal for a split second. that this is not that big of a deal, he’s just calling the girl he really likes and he got butterflies from hearing her beautiful laughs.

“ yeah of course. i called aunt lizzie for her birthday mom i’m not stupid.” you respond. god your voice is so beautiful, but he can hear it. he can fear the slight fear in your voice. maybe other people wouldn’t hear it, but he can. spencer can. and it’s killing him. it’s tearing his heart apart. it’s making his legs shake. “ d-did he hurt you- is he gonna hurt you?” spencer says gripping his jeans tightly. he hears you laugh again, “ yeah mom.” you say.

he feels his legs going weak.

#fanfiction #imagines #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #spencer reid #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!readr #spencer reid x fanfiction #spencer reid criminal minds #angst #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch fluff #spencer reid angst #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #criminal minds smut #aaron hotch fic #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x female reader #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x you #criminal minds fanfiction #matthew gray gubler #derek morgan #jennifer jareau

[zvdvdlvr]

— I Love You

— 🧠 synopsis. A tough case leaves you in the more than willing arms of SSA Aaron Hotchner.

— 🧠 word count. 2,409

— 🧠 warnings. Foul language. Idiots to lovers. Friends to lovers. Weird plot. Possible jealous!Hotch.

Maybe it was the children that hadn’t been saved in time. Maybe it was the pitying glances from not only the team, but the police officers. Maybe, even, it was the way Aaron’s eyes flitted away any time y/n looked up. 

No, y/n was mad. Angry, spiteful, defiant- any other synonyms for angry. The fact that the unsub had been completely fooled by y/n’s act until he had promptly decided he didn’t believe y/n’s promise to help in any way she could to lower his prison sentence. That’s the thing with schizophrenics: they’re extremely paranoid.

Y/n was so infuriated, she refused to talk- a habit that she had learned from childhood. If she didn’t say anything, she couldn’t get in trouble. It was a bad habit that y/n had eventually stopped by the time she went to college because the anger she kept inside of her without any kind of release would always find a way to rot her from the inside out. 

So now, even on the flight home, y/n still hasn’t said more than two sentences in a row.

— 🧠

Aaron Hotchner was a man with excellent observation skills and the ability to adapt. He knew y/n’s habit of reserving herself to silence due to the amount of time they have worked together, but Aaron felt like something was different this time.

Instead of starting the pile of paperwork he already had, Aaron instead found himself watching y/n. She was always extremely sensitive to cases that dealt with kids, but this seem to hit home, adding to the fact that their unsub had blown his brains out within a five foot radius of y/n and the seven-year-old girl that had been the last victim. 

When the team had gotten to the scene, they watched the little girl dissolve into y/n’s arms, brain matter and blood on the latter’s face. The look in y/n’s eyes when Derek had immediately rushed to the two of them was one of complete despair. Aaron watched, paralyzed, as you picked up the little girl and let her scream and wail near your ringing ears. You turned, pressing her head down so she wouldn’t look at the dead body and look Aaron dead in the eyes and took the child to the ambulance.

Something in your eyes had provoked worry in Aaron. Did you feel guilty? Were you not allowing yourself to break down when you needed to be strong for the little soul in your arms? Was there something you were trying to tell him?

“Hey,” Hotch murmured. He sat down as carefully as he could (which wasn’t too impressive seeing as it was 1 in the morning on a plane).

When you didn’t say anything, Hotch sighed. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I need you to know you did what you had to do. What he did… that wasn’t on you, y/n.”

Then you looked up at him with tears in your eyes and Aaron felt his heart sink. “Oh, honey…” he whispered. 

And then you were in his arms, crying, while trying not to wake up the others. “Hotch, I-“ you started, sniffling. 

“I’m here, sweetheart,” Aaron all but cooed, lightly carding his fingers through your hair. He knew you blamed yourself because that’s how you are. You always strive to do the best you possibly could, oftentimes resorting to neglecting yourself whenever you did something that you knew you could have done better or simply because you forgot. 

“It’s all my fault, Aaron, I- I could have saved him but- I… I messed up and I- I don’t even know what I did! And that little girl…” you trailed off, another wave of tears threatening to overtake your ability to speak. 

Aaron’s throat bobbed as he struggled to find the words to comfort the woman in his arms. Long ago had he resigned to simply being y/n’s boss/borderline friend because he accepted the fact that- as much as he hated to admit it- he was older, not your type, or just simply unattractive. But he would do theoretically anything you asked him to do even if it caused him heartbreak in the future.

“You saved that little girl, angel. *You* did. If you save one of them, you save all of them. Focus on the good, honey, not the bad. If you can do that then you can do anything, and believe me,” Aaron smiled, “I have no doubt in my mind you can do anything.” 

Aaron held you and prayed to God that you didn’t hear how fast his heart was racing. He brushed your tears away and let you sleep on his shoulder, happy that he had hopefully gotten you out of your funk.

— 🧠

Later, Aaron woke up to Derek tapping his shoulder. “Do you want me to take our golden girl home?” Derek asked, with a softness to his voice that he had whenever he talked to you. 

Blinking away the tiredness from his eyes, Aaron shook his head. “No. No, I got her. Tjank you, Derek, but you need to go home and get some rest.” 

Derek nodded. “Get home safe,” he said to Hotch, a small smile in his face when he heard you sigh a little in you sleep and bury your head even further into Aaron’s neck.

Derek patted Aaron’s shoulder before taking his leave.

“Wake up, y/n,” Aaron murmured, heart swelling in his chest when he heard you mumble incoherent words.

Slinging his own go-bag and yours over his shoulders, Hotch helped you stand up.

“Hotch, lemme take my-“ you started, being cut off with a yawn.

“I got it, y/n,” Aaron chuckled. He let you slip your arm in his and all but lean on him as he made his way to his car. 

When he got you settled into the passage seat, Aaron tossed the bags in the back and started the drive to your house. 

“Aaron?” You asked, voice small.

He looked over at you. Despite the lack of light, Aaron watched you pick at your fingers. “Yeah?”

It took you a minute before saying something. You wanted to ask him why he kept calling you ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart’. It’s not that you didn’t like it (you loved it), you just don’t think he could keep calling you that if he didn’t have any kind of attraction to you. You, though, you’ve been enamored with Aaron Hotchner since the day he shook your hand and offered you a job. 

Similarly, you wanted to ask him what he did when he got lost in his own mind; when he himself couldn’t pull himself out of his thoughts. 

So you settled on a breathless “Thank you”. 

Silence reigned once more as Aaron tried to pick out the meaning of your thanks. Where you thanking him for driving you home? For letting you fall asleep on him? For… being one of the best friends you’d ever had in your life without saying it?

When Aaron carried your bag to the door as you unlocked the it, he wondered if there was another universe where he was taking you home every night, going to bed with you, waking up to Jack begging for pancakes with you, dropping Jack off at school with you, and then going to work with you. Maybe, Aaron thought, somewhere in another universe I’m watching the woman I love fall asleep with my child in her arms. 

“Do you… need anything else?” Aaron asked, holding out y/n’s go-bag for her to take. 

Aaron kicked himself. He felt like a school boy whenever you’re around, and the fact that he’s standing in front of you and your home isn’t really helping his nerves.

“Would you maybe want to, uh… stay? For tonight?” Y/n blurted. Aaron’s eyes must have widened because he saw y/n become flustered. “I- you know, just for tonight. I need a ride to work tomorrow anyway… You- You might as well just stay.”

“If you want me to-“

“Please?” 

Aaron stepped into y/n’s house and immediately toed off his shoes. “Where do you want me to put this?” 

“I’ll take it.” She accepted the bag and walked to her room.

Aaron walked around the kitchen. Your house was clean and colorful. You had quite a few photos of the sunset framed by your television, but there were a lot more candid shots of the BAU then of your family. Hm.

“Come here, A,” you called from your room (?).

Dutifully, Aaron followed the sound of your voice, pushing your door open slowly and entering your room. Where you sleep. Where you get dressed and undressed. Where you live.

You walked over to Aaron and handed him a little pile of clothes. “These should fit. I guessed your size. If those don’t fit I have more men’s clothes.” 

“Why do you have men’s clothing?” Aaron asked, a smile toying at his lips. 

“Brothers, boyfriends… they’re comfy,” y/n shrugged. “Does it matter, Aaron?” 

Aaron watched you tilt your head, smirk widening. 

“Just curious.” He defends himself poorly, red tinging his cheeks as he scratches his head.

“Bathroom’s right in there,” you say, pointing to the door attached to your room. 

Aarom walks to your bathroom and shuts the door. He immediately releases a breath of air he hadn’t realize he had been holding. After turning on the lights, he changes into the clothes you gave him. Both owns smelled exactly like you, something that made Aaron smile.

He shut off the light and closed the door. “Thank you, y/n. I appreciate it.”

You looked up from your dresser. “You’d do the same for me. There’s nothing to thank me, Aaron.”

“What are you doing?” Aaron asked, approaching your figure. 

“I don’t think you would want to see me walk around in just a bra and boxers, A,” y/n laughs. 

The bluntness of your answers smacks Aaron in the face with a metal bar. “Boxers?” He finds himself asking.

You just laugh. “They’re comfortable.” 

“You don’t have to change your sleeping routine for me,” Aaron says quietly, eyes looking directly into your own.

“Are you sure?” 

“We’re just sleeping,” Aaron shrugs. “So there’s nothing to worry about.”

Your eyes flicker between your boss’s and suddenly your wondering how you got here. The line between boss/employee and more-than-friends/not-quite-dating was blurred and you didn’t even remember putting your thumb on how you felt about your boss.

“Okay,” you say slowly. You close the drawer, holding a sports bra and boxers. “I’m gonna go change and go to sleep… Do you want me to set up the couch or just sleep in the bed with me?” 

“What do you want, y/n?”

You direct your gaze to the floor. “I don’t care, honestly.” You weren’t just gonna tell your crush you feel safer when his touch is what lulls you to sleep, that you’ve been in love with him since practically the beginning of time, that you wanted more than just a night (of PG activities!) with him.

“I hear your brain going 200 miles an hour over there, sweetheart. What’re you thinking?” Aaron teases.

“Will you hold me, Aaron?” You ask, urging yourself to look into his eyes. Moment of truth, you think, he’s either gonna laugh in my face or I’m gonna fall even deeper in love with my boss as we cuddle.

Aaron feels winded at your tiny voice. Yes, he wants to scream, yes! “Go get changed, honey. I’ll be right here.” 

Then that smile is back and all Aaron wants to do his pick you up in his arms and kiss you, maybe spin you around the room. His heart swells in his chest again (it’s been doing that a lot lately, he notes) as you pat his arm in thanks as you pass him to head to your bathroom.

Aaron climbs into your bed, setting his essentials (badge, keys, gun, etc.,) on the nightstand. 

You flip off the light switch and pad over to the bed and slip under the covers. 

For what felt like a millennium, Aaron held his breath and waited. 

“Aaron, I have to tell you something. It’s been on my mind and… just hear me out. Please. You don’t have to say anything back and I understand if-“ you babble.

“Take a breath, y/n,” Aaron soothes. “What’s up?”

“I’m in love with you, Aaron Benjamin Hotchner. Like, if I had to choose between you over breathing I would literally spend my last breath telling you how much I love you. You are always on my mind, Aaron, and it hurts because I can’t do anything about it. I know I’m not your type, I know I’m just your co-worker, I know you probably aren’t looking to date anyone, but I just… I want you to know,” you ramble, words tumbling out of your mouth like Reid when he get’s started on some random fact. 

Aaron blinks, pupils widening. “Do you seriously think you’re ‘just a co-worker’ to me?” 

You swallow. “Yeah?”

“Do you think I would let just anyone call me Aaron? How often to you see me taking out Morgan for coffee when he gets cranky? Do I almost always end up sitting by Emily on the flight home after a case? Do I call Spencer ‘sweetheart’ and ‘honey’?” Aaron asks quietly, hand resting on your cheek while he tucks a loc of hair under your ear so he can see your eyes better. “Jack loves you. I love you.” Aaron laughs at how comically large your eyes get.

“Jack loves me?” You ask.

Aaron laughs. “He loves you ‘to the moon and back’.” 

“He loves that book, Aaron, don’t laugh at your baby boy,” you scold playfully.

“I outdo him though, because I love you to Saturn and back.”

You turn to the nightstand and shut the light off before turning back to face Aaron. “Will you hold me, Aaron? Please?” 

“C’mere, sweetheart,” Aaron says, opening his arms to welcome you into him. 

And then that’s when you know his words are true. His heart rate  is definitely elevated, but so is yours. “Will you tell me you love me, again?”

Aaron, now lying on his back with you clinging onto him like a weighted blanket, complied. Carding his fingers through her hair, Aaron lulled her mind off to a quiet, safe place. “I love you, angel,” Aaron whispered, pressing a soft kiss to y/n’s forhead.

#aaron hotchner one shot #sfw.kj #x female reader #female reader #fluff #x reader #jules writes 📓🖊 #criminal minds #criminal minds angst #criminal minds imagine #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner x y/n #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x gn!reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #aaron hotchner fanfic

[avis-writeshq]

hello 😘 aaron hotchner drabble request!

anything with jealousy and possessiveness but in a natural normal way not a joe goldberg way haha

and also - aaron sees you wearing his hoodie/shirt drabble!

thank you and your work is amazing!

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau!fem!reader genre: established relationship, aaron is a little (a lot) upset warnings: misogynistic moron >:( reader wears a skirt, if you get the reference ily a/n: i wrote it and the more i wrote the more i realised that it... really isn't the same at all :( if you want me to redo it, please send me an ask !! thank you lovely <3 wc: 631

“You would think that he would know by now,” Emily hums, her tone disapproving and mostly disappointed as she watches from a distance as Captain Pembroke attempts to chat you up. 

“He’s a captain?” Spencer asks in genuine amazement. 

“For NYPD’s major crime unit,” JJ confirms, her arms crossed over her chest. “He tried to hit on Emily a couple days ago, and on Amy from the fourth floor. I wouldn’t be surprised it he has some sort of sealed file on him.”

Emily scoffs a little, rolling her eyes. “Sounds like a charmer.”

“The bigger question is, does Hotch know?” Derek pipes up as he glances in your direction.

“Well…” JJ lets out a nervous laugh. “I kind of hope he doesn’t.”

You offer a curt smile in Pembroke’s direction, doing everything in your power to subtly signal that you really should be leaving. Fiddling with the loose threads of your shirt, averting eye contact, taking tiny steps away in hopes that he’ll somehow get the message. It isn’t surprising that he doesn’t. 

“I beat my PR yesterday, you know,” he brags, flexing his muscles. You think you’re about to throw up as he continues, “129. Impressive, right, hun?”

“The average amount of pounds an untrained man can lift is 135,” you respond dismissively in an attempt to lean into Spencer’s way of getting people to leave him alone, but Pembroke doesn’t seem to hear you. 

“You know, sweets, I don’t think you should even be in this job. You’re far too foxy,” he says with a wink, “You’d be better in a different job. I mean, women aren’t fit for these types of roles. They get too emotional.”

You refrain from punching his face as it will only prove his point. “Listen, Ken–”

“It’s Keith–”

“Kyle,” you amend with a sickly smile. “I do need to get these files to Agent Rossi, so if you’ll excuse me…”

“Aw, come on, it was only a joke,” Pembroke says with a laugh. “It’ll be fine–”

“There you are.”

You don’t think you’ve ever felt more relieved in your life. Aaron’s hand rests flat against your back, dangerously close to the waistband of your skirt and he stands behind you. Aaron is a good couple of inches taller than Pembroke, especially when he stands at his full height, his dark eyed narrowed and his jaw clenched. 

“Did you need something from my agent, Captain?” He asks lowly. 

“Just pleasant conversation,” Pembroke responds dismissively.

Aaron raises an eyebrow, his gaze shifting from your uncomfortable frown to the captain’s smug face. “We have three missing women and you are disturbing an investigation by disrupting my agents. I suggest you get your act together before I report you to your superiors for harassment.”

He doesn’t bother waiting for a response, guiding you by the small of your back towards his makeshift office in the New York Police Office. He doesn’t say a word until the door is firmly closed and the blinds are drawn. 

“Are you alright?” He asks softly, taking a step towards you and curling his fingers by your cheekbone. “I heard what he said. Do you want me to report it?”

“I’ve dealt with worse.” You don’t mean to sound so honest when you say it and his frown deepens.

“That’s not okay, honey.” Aaron presses a kiss to your forehead. “I’ll report it. You know how it is with cases like these; someone just has to put the first step forward.”

You smile at that, poking at his cheeks. “I thought you were going to hit him.”

“I thought you would’ve beat me to it,” he admits through a quiet laugh, giving you a proper kiss. “We shouldn’t make this into a habit.”

“Tell that to Kimberly.”

“That isn’t even close.”

reblogs are always appreciated!

events page

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #criminal minds x reader #aaron hotchner x reader fluff #golden : a milestone event #hotch x reader fluff #criminal minds x reader fluff #hotch #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader angst #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds aaron hotchner #thomas gibson x reader #thomas gibson #thomas gibson fluff #thomas gibson x reader fluff

[miley1442111]

fix it-a.hotchner

a/n: i imagined a fem reader but as per usual, imagine what you like :)

please don't read if you have emetophobia!!!!

summary: aaron says some horrible things, can he fix it?

pairing: husband! aaron hotchner x wife! reader

warnings: mad angst, aaron is so mean, reader believes she is a bad mother, heartbreak, feelings of disappointment, jack is so sweet, reader is pregnant, talks of pregnancy, talks of vomiting and morning sickness, no happy ending :(

part 2- fix it together

It was all coming down to this. It was Jack’s birthday and as his step-mom, you had been party planning all week. He was having a dinosaur themed birthday with a bounce house and watching a movie in the backyard, like a little drive in movie. You were excited for him. Aaron hadn’t really been around much that week, he was busy dealing with some legal battle the FBI was up against, meaning the rest of the team, including yourself, had the week off. It was Friday night, Jack’s actual birthday and he was asleep in bed as you waited for Aaron to get home. You were reading a book Spencer had recommended you as you nursed a cup of tea, getting sleepier by the second. 

The front door opened and there Aaron stood, briefcase in hand, handsome as ever. You smiled and got up from your spot on the couch, ready to greet him. He smiled softly as you hugged him, running a hand through his hair. “How did it go?” you asked, your voice just above a whisper.

“Oh it was fine, nothing too jarring. How was the week?” He asked, walking further into the house. 

“Fine. Nothing to report. Jack’s asleep but-”

“Did you do something for his birthday?” He asked, cutting you off. 

“Yeah, of course. I picked him up from school early and we went for lunch and to a film. He really enjoyed himself,” you smiled and he sighed. “Is everything ok?”

“Yeah, fine,” Passive aggressive. Aaron was being passive aggressive.

“Aaron,” You said, worry coating your words. “Is everything ok?”

“Yes! Everything is just fine,” He sighed again, sitting on the couch. “Just one thing though- you didn’t think to offer him to see his mom?” He asked, malice behind every word. The accusation cut you deeply. Of course you’d asked, but he’d said no. He said ‘I don’t want to go without dad’ because of course he wouldn’t. He didn’t want to go to his moms grave without his dad, and not on his birthday either. You stood there, stunned at his words. He continued. “Y’know, you promised me this wouldn’t be an issue, so tell me now, is this an issue Y/N? I need to know because we can still get an annulment.” 

You gasped at his words. “Aaron stop-”

“No, you stop. You are not his mother. She is. She still is, even if she’s gone. You’ll never be his mother. You’re doing a good job of parenting but nothing compares to Haley. Thank god you’re not his actual mother.”

That was venomous. He was going straight for every insecurity you had around your relationship with Jack and throwing it in your face. He was hurting you. 

The silence was heavy. Aaron finally looked at your face and saw the disgust written all over it. The worst part was the fact that he knew it wasn't disgust at his actions, it was disgust directed at yourself and your parenting. You loved and adored Jack, he knew that. He knew, though he’d never admit it, that Jack liked you more than him, or maybe it was just his insecurity speaking, he wasn’t sure. He knew you gave everything of yourself to the both of them. And he knew he’d just done irreversible damage. 

“I offered,” you muttered, your eyes trained on the floor as you wrapped your arms around your chest, pleading with yourself to not cry. You felt silly, standing there, in his hoodie, his home, and seeing his child as your own. “He said he wanted to wait for you. I said we’d go on Sunday.” 

Aaron’s stomach dropped at the tone of your voice and the words being spoken. He was making you cry. He was hurting you. And all you’d ever been to him was perfectly kind. You’d always been so supportive, so loving, and so caring. As he came in he saw a love note on the fridge, he’d seen one of his favourite chocolate bars on the counter with a note beside it, a little wrapped gift beside it too. There were multiple reminders on the fridge for yourself, ones telling you to pick up things for the party, pick up Jack’s big birthday gift (a new bike), and call Jessica. You cared so much about the both of them, and he’d just said some of the worst things he could’ve, just because he was stressed.

Imagine how stressed you were, planning an entire party on your own while simultaneously working through hours and hours of paperwork (courtesy of your job, you were still working from home even if you weren't technically working), and parenting all week, all alone. 

“There’s dinner in the fridge, I-I’m going to go to bed,” you mumbled, walking about and leaving him alone with his thoughts. He heard your footsteps retract, walking up the stairs and in the opposite direction of your shared bedroom. Shit. You were sleeping in the guest room. 

He got up, irritation and shame barely allowing him to get to the kitchen to eat the meal you’d made him. Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he have just listened to you? 

He sat alone eating, his eyes drifting to the gift on the counter the entire time. I don’t deserve it. He thought, but caved once he finished his food and cleaned up. He pulled the small bow off and unwrapped the colourful paper to reveal a positive pregnancy test. His heart broke again. Inside beside it was a note, in your beautiful handwriting. 

To my dearest Aaron, 

I wanted to tell you the second I found out but I also didn’t want you to come home too early when you were still needed in Washington. We’re pregnant! I’m so excited and nervous and happy and scared all at the same time. I didn’t want to upstage Jack’s birthday but I obviously needed to tell you :) 

I love you so much and I can’t wait for this next chapter! No more guest bedroom I guess :) 

P.s I’m almost sure Jack knows, I’ve been having horrible morning sickness :( but at least this fulfils his christmas wish last year, remember ? 

Anyways, I love you so much and I’m so excited. 

Your love, Y/N

Xxxx 

He felt sick to his stomach. You were pregnant. He’d just been evilly cruel to you and you were pregnant. He’d said some of the most vile things on planet earth to you, he essentially called you a bad mother. And you were pregnant. He hadn’t even realised he was crying until he saw the splotches on the paper, ruining one of the cute doodles you’d done. He immediately put it down, not wanting to damage it further. 

He took a deep breath, then went into his study and allowed himself to cry. He’d been mean. He’d hurt you in the one way he promised he wouldn’t, all because he was overwhelmed. All because he was stressed. 

“Dad?” He heard Jack’s voice and straightened. He wiped his face. “Why are you upset?” Jack walked into his office, pyjamas and a teddy in hand. 

“I did something mean to mom,” he admitted. “And I hurt her by accident,” he wasn’t sure if it was by accident. He was sure some deep part of him just wanted to self-sabotage himself. “And I feel bad about it.”

“It’ll be ok. Mom’s been sick this week, maybe you have the same tummy ache and it’s making you mad?” He suggested and Aaron let out a pathetic chuckle. 

“Maybe bud, maybe,” he agreed. “How about we get you back to bed, huh?” 

“Can I say goodnight to mom again?” He asked and Aaron’s heart broke again. He lifted him up and nodded, walking them down the hall. “You go into her and I’ll get your bed ready, yeah?” 

“OK dad!” Jack exclaimed as he was let down to the ground, and went running off to your shared bedroom. Aaron shook his head. 

“She’s in the other bedroom,” he pushed down another wave of tears at Jack’s confused face. 

“Why?” He asked, confused. 

“I was really mean,” Aaron sniffled. “Say goodnight from me too?”

“Ok dad,” Jack said, walking into the guest room. 

Aaron heard your voice, wishing Jack good dreams. You’d been crying. 

He was the worst person in the world. 

Jack came into his bedroom a few minutes later. “Mom’s still sick, she said goodnight and to tell you that she loves you.”

Aaron almost started crying again. You were so caring. You always put him above yourself. “Thanks buddy.” 

Aaron tucked him in and closed his door over, wishing him a good night. The tears came shortly after. He tried to sleep in your shared bed, but it wasn’t right. You weren’t there. 

Sleep evaded him that night. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, the morning sickness hit you like a truck. You had your head in the toilet for an hour, at least. You didn’t come out of the guest room until about 9am. You could hear the usual sounds of Jack and Aaron playing outside, probably soccer. You walked downstairs and got yourself a glass of water, the only thing you could actually stomach at the minute. You looked out the window that led to your garden and smiled when you saw your boys playing, then the nagging voice that you thought you’d gotten rid of all but screamed in your ear You’re such a terrible parent. Aaron’s just been trying to conserve your feelings this entire time. Jack probably hates you. You shouldn’t be having another child. 

You looked away. Focus on the party. You told yourself. Get through today.

You had a long list of things that needed doing before the party at 3. You had to pick up balloons, pick up the cake, pick up Jessica and her kids, pick up Sean from the airport (as a surprise for Aaron and Jack), and set everything up. You left a small note on the table explaining where you were, and left. You ran all your errands, leaving picking up Jessica, the kids, and Sean till last. When you walked back in, the house was set up and Jack was immediately excitedly by Jessica, his cousins, and Sean which gave you a moment to slip away from Aaron.

Soon enough, the party started and you were bombarded with around forty children and a party to have. You felt Aaron's eyes on you constantly, checking in on you or just watching you. Once the outdoor film started, Penelope, Emily, Jj, and Spencer came over to ask what was wrong with you and Aaron, saying it was strange to not see you all over each other. You told them about the fight (not the pregnancy) and they were shocked at his behaviour. How could he be so mean? How could he treat you like that?

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aaron had been trying to talk to you for hours. Whenever he tried, a kid or one of the team would stop him with a dumb question, or needing help. You had Emily, Penelope, Jj, and Spencer crowding you the entire night, sending him the dirtiest of looks. That’s how he ended up at the end of the garden with David and Derek, who were both giving him a lecture about how what he’d done was wrong. 

“You can't say anyone is a bad parent!” Derek stressed. “That’s a very clear no-go!”

“I’m aware,” Aaron said, his lips tight in a frown. “I know what I did was wrong.”

“Then why aren’t you apologising?!” Derek exclaimed, loud enough that a few kids turned around to shush him. 

“Because,” Aaron sighed. “Those four haven’t left her side in hours.” 

As the movie came to a close and the children left, you were left with just the team and family. 

You all sat down to dinner, chinese takeout- Jack’s favourite. There was laughter and true joy, especially at David’s insistence that he could make the meal much better than Jack's favourite take-out, considering he was a ‘chef’. 

You all sat down to watch Jack open his gifts, individually thanking each person who gave him something. He was especially taken by the gift Spencer got him, a book on dinosaurs, and he adored the bike. You’d gotten one that you'd made look similar to Sean’s motorbike, Jack was always obsessed with Sean's motorbike. You’d even drawn on specific details that made it even more unique. Everyone eventually trailed out and it was just you, Jack, Sean, and Aaron. Jack asked Sean to read his bedtime story. That meant you and Aaron were left to clean up together. You got up to start picking up plates but Aaron stopped you. 

“Can I?” He offered and you nodded, sitting on the couch. You hadn’t eaten at dinner, all food just meant more vomiting in the morning and you were not up for that. “Can we talk?” He asked. 

“About what?” You sighed, looking over at him. “I think we’ve both said enough.”

“I’m so sorry about last night,” he sighed, coming over to you and sitting beside you. “I was awful. I was disgustingly mean just because I was overwhelmed. You’re an amazing mother to Jack, while you’re not his biological mother, you love him as such and he loves you. You’re a great parent. I was just being reactive and mean. I was so cruel and I'm sorry. I don’t want an annulment. I want to be with you forever. I know that it isn’t a problem. I know how much you love Jack and me,” he chuckled humorlessly. “I know how little I deserve it.”

You took his hand. “What you said… it was probably my worst nightmare,” you chuckled flatly. “And what you said was pretty damaging, Aaron. I just… it completely restarted the voice in my head that says I’m a terrible parent. It made me scared to think about what’s going to happen when we have our baby. I was already terrified about being pregnant, and this was just…” you trailed off as Aaron’s heart broke. Your voice was raw with emotion. You were so hurt. 

“I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that you are the best mother our children could ever have,” he promised and you smiled, but it lacked the regular spark your smiles usually contained. 

“The best mother Jack could have is Haley. We both know that.”

Fuck. Now you were comparing yourself to Haley again. Aaron had quite literally set you back about 4 years in your confidence as Jack’s mother. “Honey-”

“I know it sounds bad, but we both know it’s true. I’m good, but as you said, I’m nothing compared to Haley. Which is fine Aaron. I understand my place.”

His heart broke for what felt like the millionth time. He’d hurt you so badly. “Honey please, I was stressed and overwhelmed and I took it out on you. I meant nothing I said. You’re the best mother to Jack and our unborn child. You are the love of my life-”

“I’m the second love of your life,” you smiled sadly at him. “I’m going to bed, goodnight Aaron.” 

You walked up the stairs with a heavy heart. No matter what he said, you’ll always remember the look on his face when he told you that you weren’t enough, that you weren't Haley.

You fell asleep on your side of the bed, since you couldn’t exactly sleep in the guest room when Sean was in there. 

Aaron leaned against the counter as he washed dishes, thinking about how he could fix this. 

Could he even fix this?

——————————————————————————-------------------

criminal minds masterlist

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #bau team #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #hotch

[uranometrias]

✮ꜜ : ❛ long time coming : aaron hotchner x fem! reader

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader

summary: after getting hurt out in the field, you're on leave for a month. coming back felt long overdue, that is until your plans with the team lead you to a situation that feels a bit too close for comfort after such a traumatic time. what's worse, your feelings you've harbored for your boss have no choice but to come to light when he makes the odd choice to address you as 'agent' rather than your name after one month of being apart, and years and years of back and forth will-they-wont-they.

content warnings: making out. allusions to sexual assault + r4pe (but only in the context of the case). reader has slight signs of PTSD. anxiety/panic attacks. reader runs into a few pushy men while out at the club. drinking / drunk confessions. reader has a crush on her boss, it is also implied that reader finds derek attractive, and he reciprocates these feelings. hotch is very good at calming reader down. no usage of y/n. reader is described as having shoulder length hair (can be read as a wig/weave) angry/disappointed hotch! reader has been hiding her anxiety / nightmares / memory issues from the team. mentions of vomiting. kissing. mentions of elle & the events of the fisher king. no distinct timeline, but can be read as s7 with the iconic team (hotch, emily, derek, jj, penelope, rossi, & spencer)

────────────────────────

"Okay, I didn't know we were going all out. I would've prepared better." you smile shyly as Jennifer pulls you into a tight hug. When Penelope had called you early that morning with an excited decree that you'd been cleared to return to work you hadn't been sure how to feel. You hadn't bothered to ask how Garcia of all people was privy to information you hadn't received from your bosses yet, there was no getting a straight answer when it came to the Technical Analyst.

It had been her idea for the entire team to get together. You'd been out of the office for a full month, and in that time you'd tried your hand at maintaining your bonds with the rest of the group. It of course wasn't the same, but you knew that you'd needed the time. The last time you'd joined them on a case things had gone horribly wrong. You shudder at the thought, you had been doing so good at forgetting about it all, but seeing them again made it all come back.

The unsub had been your run-of-the-mill anger excitation rapist, a creep that had been using an elaborate ruse to entice and entrap women. It had been Emily's idea for the two of you to go undercover, the unsub had been killing two women every week, women who in many ways were polar opposites of one another, a trait that you and Emily shared. Long story short, in the midst of your plan to lure and trap the Unsub, you'd been separated from Emily and cornered.

You’d been carted off by the creep who kept you stuck for three hours before the team used his mistake to find you. By then though, the damage had been done. You remember the look on Rossi's face when he and Hotch came busting in, and found you looking bruised up with a bloody face, and a gun barrel to the side of your head. You'd never seen Hotch quite as scared, at least not since everything with Foyet nearly three years ago when he lost Haley and almost Jack.

You'd been too out-of-sorts to hear the way they'd tried to reason with the Unsub. And you hadn't realized your abdomen was losing blood until a gunshot rang out, bullets whizzing past your head as the unsub curled into himself before falling to the ground. You didn't know much, you thought maybe your eardrums had exploded with the way they were ringing, and you'd half expected to smack your head against the ground and end up with an annoying concussion.

Instead, you'd been met with the sight of your boss. He'd yelled something you weren't privy to, mouth moving as he seemingly forced the rest of the team out of their stupor long enough to get a medic inside to look you over. It was like you said, the details were fuzzy, but nothing had managed to wipe Hotch's worried expression as he fussed over your safety, out of your mind. However, if you were honest with yourself for one measly second, that was nothing new.

Nothing seemed to fill up your mind the way your boss did, and it was stupid, and deplorable all things considered. But it's not like it had even been something you'd asked for. It just happened one day. You shake these thoughts of your near paralyzing emotions away, pulling yourself back to the present as you took in JJ, who despite her perceived candor looked great. "Oh come on Jaige." you huff, and you appraise her more openly. "You look amazing, as usual."

She grins, albeit shyly, and she's waiting, maybe for your approval maybe for something else. She's trying to be discreet as she sweeps your for obvious reminders of what happened, and you feel nervous. Most of your injuries had healed up well enough, and the scratches that littered your face had been covered in a smattering of makeup. You felt comfortable in your pretty girl cocoon, all done up with a bright smile on your face that was surprisingly believable.

"Can I hug you?" she asks, and you can tell she's been holding it in, waiting to ask. You nod your head, a quiet chuckle escaping you as the blonde seems to scoop you into her arms. She's careful not to squeeze too tight, but the love is felt all the same. "God, it's been so weird without you around." she hums, and while the rest of the team is already huddled inside, probably in a booth Penelope picked, you're so happy she's the one here telling you this now.

"Now you know how we all felt when they sent you to the Pentagon." you whisper back, and you hear her bemused giggle as she steps back, and she takes you in again. Your red minidress was a stark contrast to the usual business-casual attire you wore everyday to work. Your hair was curled, pinned back with a gold claw clip, hair just barely ghosting over the divots of your collarbones. You'd opted for a shorter do' following everything with the unsub.

"Never leave us again." she pleads, and you feel this warmth blossoming in your chest at the way she's staring at you, almost like she really means it. You'd joined the team back when Elle and Gideon had still been around. At one point you'd been the rookie, the new girl nobody knew what to expect from. JJ had been right there beside you, even back then. She had been sweet, assertive, your first real friend on the team. She'd welcomed you before anyone else.

In time of course, things had changed, JJ had a husband, kids, a hoard of other units that were plotting on her skills at all times, but she was still JJ. Still that same first friend that helped you to see the Behavioral Analysis Unit was the only place for you. "I'll do my best." you promise, and she grins. She links arms with you before you both head inside the bar. There was music playing, some alternative indie song that wasn't half bad.

"Here's the girl of the hour now." Emily exclaims, and it's clear they've already started tossing back shots. JJ's head is instantly shaking in mortification. So it was going to be one of those nights. Penelope meets you both, pulling JJ from your arms and leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek sweetly, before she's turning to you. She's got tears already brimming in her eyes, and you can't help but giggle at the dramatics of it all.

"I'm so happy to see you." she squeals, and you find yourself hugging back despite the sting of your abdomen. "You look so beautiful." she adds a second afterwards. "What are you looking to get lucky?" she asks, as she uses her hands to push you away slightly, hands resting gently on both of your shoulders. You feel your face growing hot at the implication, and you see the way she's looking at your facial expressions for a signal of your lies. Curse her proximity to profilers.

"I just wanted to look nice." you reply and Penelope lets you off the hook. She leads you to the table, and you're just in time to hear the group finish up their hellos to JJ. She's sitting next to Morgan, who's bright-eyed as he looks up at you. You find yourself fussing with your hair, playing it cool as you press your lips together, re-smearing your lipstick as you waved your hand.

You weren't sure why you felt like the new kid all over again.

"It's good to see you, pretty girl." he croons, and you grin. Morgan was flirty, had been since you met him, and if you weren't so disastrously into Hotch, you think he'd be all on your mind. Well, you know... more than he was. There had been times where you'd been partnered together, and it almost felt like the tension was going to cut you in half. Sexual tension aside though, Derek was your friend.

They all were, and despite what your mind tried to tell you as you sobbed yourself through nightmares during your break from work, they were genuinely happy to see you. "I'm glad you're okay." your eyes flit over to the youngest member of the team. Spence is looking relieved as he too looks up at you with eyes full of relief. He's next to Emily, and she's already downing another drink. She'd be complaining about a migraine the next day, you could hear her now.

"Thanks, Spence." you coo, and you offer him a wink as your eyes fall on the only present member of the team that hadn't addressed you. Rossi had made a point to send his hellos, but due to a previous standing appointment, he wouldn't be joining tonight. You couldn't hold it against him, Rossi was scoping the prairie for wife number four. He offers you a faint smile, the group instantly falling into chatter.

"H-Hey Hotch." you mumble, and he's closest to you, sitting on the outside of the booth as the rest of the team tried their hardest to pretend they weren't expecting this. He doesn't say anything for a moment, instead he takes you in. He wasn't blind, he'd seen you before, you'd always been beautiful, but there was something about you done up like this. Red dress, red lip, bold makeup, and heels that showed off your legs, and accented your model-esque posture.

It was obvious that you were still a bit nervous about being out and about, and you were out of practice with being around the team. He imagined after a bit though you'd be back to yourself. You, and the rest of the girls would be falling into a rhythm in no time. He stands to his feet, much taller than you, as you take a small step back to give him space. "It's good to see you up and about, Agent." and his voice is low, clearly as a courtesy to the bustling of conversation behind you.

"Agent?" you repeat, and the word is so foreign. It makes you take another step back, the bottoms of your Louboutin's clacking against the ground. You looked a bit hurt, but you played it off quickly. "Come on, Hotch. I think we're a little past those formalities." you chuckle awkwardly, and you find yourself looking towards the bar. Yeah, you were definitely going to need a drink. He seems to curse under his breath, but you're not sure if that's due to you, or some internal conflict you weren't privy to. You don't wait to figure it out either.

He doesn't have the opportunity to reply to your correction, because you're looking to Emily, JJ, and Garcia. "Wanna get some shots?" you ask, and you sidestep Aaron, making sure you don't look his way again, as the girls immediately exclaim their agreements. Penelope's sliding out of the booth first, Emily and JJ following her example as they head straight towards the bar. JJ's shooting you a knowing glance as she looks between Hotch and yourself.

"You coming boys?" you extend the invite to Derek and Spencer, who are quick to nod along, both men trailing after the others as they head to the counter to order more drinks. You prepare to follow after them, ready for the welcome respite from your mind swimming in circles.

"I didn't mean to offend you." you stop short, spinning on your heel to meet the gaze of your Unit Chief.

"Well you did." you reply, and your voice is small. "I've known you for almost seven years, and here you are treating me like a stranger." you mumble, and you find yourself tugging at your dress. "I mean, I know it's been a while, but geez Hotch, it's still me." you say and he winces. You're not sure what the last month has been like for the others, but you know what they've been like for you. Torturous. It's been Hell.

"I know." he says, and your eyebrow raises, unmoved by his words. "And again, I didn't mean to offend you." he promises, and he clenches and unclenches his fists by his side. "After everything that happened, I guess I just assumed you'd prefer a more professional approach." he mutters, and you scoff quietly. Classic Aaron Hotchner, running away from interpersonal conflict with his tail tucked between his legs. "You don't even seem comfortable with us tonight."

You blink. Okay well he had a point there, but you were trying.

"It's not that I'm not comfortable." you mutter, and you look over your shoulder at the rest of the team. "I guess I just didn't expect to feel so out of place being out and about." you shrug your shoulders bashfully. "Everyone's normal, everything seems the same." you continue, and you notice the way that Hotch's lips have pressed into a hard line. "And it's like no time has passed at all for anyone else, but for me it's like I never moved." you blink, shivering at the thought.

Hotch's eyebrows furrow inwardly as he takes in your words. "I still feel like I'm-" you trail off, feeling a wide lump growing in your throat. "It's like I never left." you course correct, eyes shutting briefly, lashes brushing against your cheekbones. "Like no matter how much time passes, it still feels like I'm there with him and I'm-"

"I understand." he cuts you off, you think maybe to salvage your pride or to keep you from having a panic attack at the thought. "And you're certain you're ready to come back to work? You know you can take all the time you need." he reminds you, and you are immediately nodding your head as you wave a tired hand his way.

"I can't stay cooped up in my house anymore." you mumble. "It's becoming counterproductive." you huff. "I'm ready." you add a second later. "Apart from this awkwardness, I'm also perfectly fine." and it's a lie, you'd been having nightmares every night. Restless, sleepless evenings full of dread, and jump scares of your own creation. "I mean, I'm here aren't I?" you offer a tight smile as you reach out and tap Hotch's shoulders twice, a tense little conversation ender.

You don't want to stay huddled up with him anymore, not while he was looking at you like he was trying to see into your soul. You turn on your heel, dress swishing side to side as you head for the group. You find yourself in between Emily and Penelope, the blonde to your left immediately sliding a drink in front of you. You down it in a second, the intense burn as the alcohol rested in your chest was a welcome reprieve from the anguish and anxiety you'd been feeling.

You forget about Hotch, and all your heavy feelings by the time you're on your third drink. Your heels feel much too heavy under your feet as you stumble into Emily, the brunette chuckling vibrantly as you hang off each other, the music playing overhead lulling you into a false sense of security. It was nice being like this again after so long, laughing at the dramatic banter between Derek and Penelope. You wondered if they'd remain purely platonic forever.

Trading gossip back and forth with Emily and JJ was always a treat, especially as Spencer tried to keep up with eyes wide as saucers while Emily finally cracked the secrets of her coveted Sin-To-Win weekends. You weren't sure what was funnier, the peeks into Emily's life outside the unit, or the horrified looks that crossed Spence's face with every new tidbit of knowledge he learned about his coworkers. You found your eyes flickering over to Hotch again.

He was stoic as ever, but looser than he would be in the office. He seemed to enjoy being a quiet observer much more than he preferred to be in the mix. He leisurely swirled his glass of scotch, and you felt that familiar buzz of warmth in your chest when you managed to catch him smiling as he quietly passed conversation back and forth with a newly drunk Penelope, and Derek, who looked exasperated.

"Are you just gonna stare at him all night?" you jump a bit, turning to face Emily with surprise swirling in your irises. "If you keep it up, he's gonna catch you." she adds a second afterwards and you tense, head nodding as you scold yourself. You peel away from the bar, drink clutched in your hand. You had to get away from the bar for a second, maybe the cluttered dance floor would be the best distraction.

"Sorry." you mutter, and Emily offers a airy laugh. "He's just usually so serious." you lean into Emily, who nods along. She'd met Hotch after you, but still she'd managed to become so close to him it was almost surreal. She seemed to always know what he was thinking, they were in sync. Unlike you, who seemed to always be on the other end of a hard stare from the man. For a while you just began to assume he hated your guts. Or better put, he was indifferent to your existence.

That was why his look, that look he'd given you as he cradled your head while he waited for backup had been burned into your skull. All that went out of the window the second he'd labeled you 'Agent' though. God, how stupid were you? Emily's amusement makes your eyes roll. "Can I be honest?" she asks, and you nod. Penelope and JJ have migrated to the dance floor, JJ grabbing the good doctor and bringing him along with them. He looks incredibly uncomfortable.

"Sure, Em. If you think it will help." you reply audibly.

"I haven't seen him this relaxed since everything went down." she admits, and you're surprised. As if somehow your presence had been enough to set the stone-serious man at ease. "The first few days after your accident he was a mess." she adds, and she's got a surprising about of stability to her tone to be as inebriated as she was. She lowers her voice some as she leans into you, "He showed up late." she mutters this like it's some sworn secret just meant for the both of you.

"I'm sure Strauss was just riding him about another mishap in the unit." you try, and Emily looks unconvinced and unimpressed with you. "He's our boss, it's kind of his job to worry about us." you finish.

"Yeah, I guess so." Emily concedes, and she looks like she's done talking about it, so you find yourself relaxing. "Still. I've never seen him go that hard against an unsub, maybe you're not the only person that's feeling something." she leaves you with that, trying to keep from tipping as she marched towards the group. You chuckle quietly to yourself, ignoring Emily's words as you focus on finishing your drink. It seemed you'd inadvertently been trying to be alone all along.

You felt some of the tension melt from your shoulders now that you were standing at the bar, away from those prying eyes you couldn't lie to. There's this sound of heavy footsteps, and then the clearing of a throat, as you turn to be met with the sight of a man. He looked to be about your age, cheeks and nose covered in a little smattering of freckles. He's got a head full of shaggy hair that hangs in his face. He takes a quick step, sliding up against the bar beside you.

Way too close.

"Hey." he mumbles, and you appraise him boredly. It's not like he was ugly or anything, but despite Penelope's words you were not looking to get lucky tonight.

"Hi." you offer a dry greeting, shuffling your weight from one foot to the other as the bar seemingly became a beacon for thirsty men. Just as you were politely stepping away from the freckled man, you found yourself bumping into another man who'd slithered up to the bar, your ass pressing against his crotch as his hands wound around your waist. A sleazy chuckle escapes the man's mouth as you gasp. "I'm so sorry." you exclaim, and you're quick to peel away.

You feel trapped though, there were at least four guys, they all seemed to be friends, they all seemed to be in kahoots.

There's a third and fourth man joining the fray, they all looked to be about the same age, height, and weight class. This was probably their routine: approach and overwhelm whatever drunk girl they might have happened upon. It looked like you were tonight's target. "Hey, what's the rush?" the guy closest to you drawls, and you wonder where all your years of training have gone. His arm raises, and it feels like he might hit you so you flinch way too violently.

"Stick around, we'll order the next round." the next demands, and his breath smells like booze. It stinks, and it's hot as it puffs across your face. You almost break your heels backing away from them, suddenly feeling self conscious a`nd way too vulnerable in your short dress.

"No, it's alright, really." you try, and you stumble again. "My friends are right over there." and you point in their general vicinity. "Have a great night though." you offer politely, and you're trying to make your grand escape. One guy, a shaggy blonde haired man is quick to grab you by your forearm, and it's like you're back to that day. Your bureau appointed therapist had been talking to you about your anxiety, how a range of things could become triggers and transport you mentally.

"That wasn't a question. Stay a while." You're stuck, absolutely frozen in place as your entire body tenses up. Some Special Agent you were, the bureau would be so disappointed in you. Your team would be so disappointed in you. All it took to turn you into a pile of nothing was a bit of confrontation. You could remember a stronger version of you, that girl would've had these men on their knees for even thinking of laying hands on you. God, you missed that girl.

His grip on your arm tightens, fingers digging into you harshly as you find yourself surrounded on every side.

"L-Let me go." you huff under your breath, and you crane your neck. You spot JJ, the blonde's eyes locked on yours as the reality of what's going on forces her to sober up. "I just-" and you jerk away, stumbling back completely. You're surprised you don't scream as your glass drops to the ground shattering as glass sprays in every which direction. You feel like your ankle's twisted as you fall back on your ass. You expect to feel the embarrassing thud that came with smacking your ass on the hard floor of a bar, but it never comes.

Instead you feel cocooned by a familiar scent. Strong arms are looped around you, but you suppose your lack of disgust at the action is just a testament of your comfortability. "Are you alright?" it's mumbled against your ear, and the low tone of his voice makes you shiver. All you can really offer is a tight nod as Aaron's guiding you behind him. You don't get to see Hotch in action, not when JJ, Penelope, and Emily are flocking you like Charlie's Angels.

You feel the first signs of the need to barf pricking at you, and you know that you need to get some air. You needed to breathe.

"God, are you okay?" Penelope asks, and you're not sure if you are being dramatic. I mean, it wasn't like they'd done anything really. Now you were gonna look like the freak that ruined a fun night.

"I'm sorry." you chirp, and you miss the way Jennifer and Emily share a hard glance. It's not until you're feeling brisk air whipping around your face that you realize they've taken you outside, and you haven't stopped apologizing. I'm so sorry. Penelope's got wide eyes, quickly brimming with tears as you find yourself crumbling to the ground. Your hand's quick to clutch around your chest as you try to inhale. The dramatics of it all made you even more nauseous.

You should've stayed at home.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Emily's cooing, and it seems being out like this has sliced through her tipsy stupor. She's focused just like she would be on any regular sort of day. "I need you to breathe." she instructs, and JJ's crouching down in front of you, brown eyebrows draw inwardly as she takes in your clearly frantic state. Every puff of air that escapes you is tight and sounds like it hurts. You can just barely hear the sound of a commotion taking place inside.

You do hear JJ's quiet exclamation of "I'll stay with her, go check on Hotch and Derek!" before Penelope and Emily are heading back into the packed building. She calls your name, and it takes a while for you to regain your voice. She's devoid of pity, which you appreciate. JJ knew more than anyone how much you hated being seen as a burden, or someone to be sorry for. Pride was a killer. "Can you try and take a deep breath for me?" and it's then you realize your choppy little intakes of air weren't doing you any favors.

It takes a great deal of effort for your vision to be less blurry. Your ears were full of cotton, and your head was swimming. You feel bile again in the back of your throat, and you jerk away from JJ's reach. You feel like you're suffocating, transported away from the random bar in the middle of Virginia, and back to a place you'd fought so hard to escape. You were certain you'd remember that unsub forever. His evil eyes, the way he tried to use your entrails like paint.

You remember how Elle had changed after she'd been attacked by Garner. How she had changed so much that she had no choice but to step away from the Unit. Would that be your life? You didn't want that life, but it was clear you needed something, you needed help. You couldn't focus on anything else, but what had happened. You'd ruined a night out because the act of being cornered was enough to transport you back.

JJ's still peering at you as if she's waiting for you to start panicking, and maybe you were. "I'm sorry." you huff again, and JJ's shaking her head at you.

There's a deep frown etched into her face as she sighs herself. "Stop apologizing." she insists, and your lashes are wet with unshed tears. "You didn't do anything wrong. Those assholes should've never put their hands on you." she proceeds. "You know that don't you?" she continues, and you don't know how to respond, so you don't. JJ reads you like an open book, and she smacks her teeth. "Well now you do." she says this firmly. "And I'm sure Hotch and Morgan are teaching them that lesson right now." you tense up again.

"I didn't mean to ruin the-" JJ's offering you a hard glare that shuts you up. Another bad habit you'd picked up since the incident. You were working on it, trying not to blame yourself for things you didn't cause. "I'm sorry." and this time it's not because of tonight. "I was so nervous about tonight.-" you take in a hiccupped breath. "I just wanted to prove that I could bounce back." you explain, and it's the first insight you've allowed anyone. "I figured if I pretend everything's normal, soon enough it would be, but it's too much." you huff.

"And that's okay." she promises. "What you went through isn't something anyone's expecting you to forget about in a month, alright? It's gonna take time, and there will be days where it'll hurt a lot more, and there will be days where you're feeling like your old self again." she promises. "What you need to understand is that we-" she pauses as you take it in. "are your family." she finishes, and your lips start to twitch, you're not sure if you'll smile or cry.

"I know-" you proceed, and she holds a hand up in front of you.

"Let me finish." she pleads, and you inhale before nodding. "I don't- none of us want a repeat of what happened with Elle." she says quietly. "None of us want to show up to the unit one day and see your badge and gun sitting on your desk." JJ sighs. "So if you ever start feeling anxious, or terrible, or just like you're back... there." and you wince at the mention. "I want you to call me, call one of us. Don't deal with this alone, alright? Not when you don't have to."

JJ hugs you before you have time to respond, but her words sink deep and make you feel warm inside. "Thanks, Jaige." you mumble against her hair. She squeezes you tighter, and you believe it's to make up for her shyer hug earlier.

"You're welcome." she mumbles back, and then she's pulling back. You don't have much respite, Penelope practically tackling you in a hug of her own. You hadn't even realized the rest of the team has left the bar, you were sure the mood of the night was much lower.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Penelope exhales, and you do too, breathing fine again, save for a few hiccups that escaped you every so often. She lets you go after a beat, and you're quick to take a small step back, suddenly feeling anxious once more.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." your eyes meet Derek and Emily's. "Thank you." and you're chuckling quietly as Derek pulls you into his side. He plants a kiss on the top of your head, and you warm inwardly. Spencer does hug you, and it's a shock. One of those hugs that you never take for granted, because it could be a while before you get another. Once he's pulled away you find yourself still hovering, listening quietly as they all decide the night's not over.

You respectfully bow out, you'd had enough for one day. It's then you notice that Hotch is all by himself. You quietly excuse yourself, but you find that they're not really listening now that you were safer. "Are you alright?" you ask, and your voice is very quiet. Hotch looks up from his phone as if he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. You take in his face, and it's clear he's been in some sort of scuffle. Most notable due to the fact he's got blood smeared under his nose.

"I should be asking you that." he retorts, and your eyebrows furrow in.

"Y-You already did." you remind him, eyes darting away. "Why are you over here by yourself?" you shoot off a round of questions, the wind whipping around, and making you crave the comfort of your bed. You maintain a respectful balance, you weren't in any rush to be all up in someone's space.

"I think I've had enough of crowds for the night." he retorts. You don't realize until it's happened though, your hand reaching up to swipe at the blood that's slowly drying on his upper lip.

"Get into a bar fight?" you ask, and you hold your breath for the answer. Hotch looks down at you, and there's this unreadable expression on his face. You realize that this is nothing new. Hotch had never been easy to read, he was one of the greatest profilers you'd ever met, one of the greatest people. But he'd always been an enigma. His emotions were an Alcatraz all on their own.

"You should see the other guy." the classic rebuttal to a question like yours. It doesn't make you smile, mostly because he's not smiling either. "Are you okay?" and he's got you by your wrist, eyes zoned in on the harsh mark the guy from the bar had left behind. "He never should've touched you." his voice lowers, and there's an annoyance attached to his tone. "I'm so sorry." you find yourself huffing.

"You shouldn't have fought him." you say matter-of-factly. Your fists fold up at your sides, your lips pulling down into a frown. "It'll give everyone the wrong idea." you say, and you wrench your hand away from his grasp.

"Everyone?" he repeats, and he looks confused, classic Hotch.

"Me." you correct, "I'll get the wrong idea." you whisper. "I might actually think you like me." you admit quietly.

"We wouldn't want that." he replies, and his tone is far from mocking. You hate that it makes you crack a smile. You hate that he's always the one that manages to get that reaction out of you.

"Hey, are you two coming? We're all heading to Mo's." Emily calls, and you snort at the fact that their alcohol riddled mind had caused them to forget you'd already declined. You take a step away from Hotch, and you hate that you stumble. You were hating a lot of things tonight. Maybe you weren't as sober as you'd thought.

Aaron looks to you as if he's waiting to see your answer before giving his own, and maybe he was. The second you're politely explaining that you're ready to head home, Aaron is offering to drive you. Derek is whistling, Emily and JJ offering you smug little smirks. Penelope is trying to keep herself secured to Earth. "He's gonna take her home." he whispers to no one in particular, and it's a horrid attempt.

"We all heard, babygirl." Derek replies to her, and you find yourself a bit stuck. The thought of spending the eighteen minute car ride with your boss make you want to scream, but you'd taken a cab. Your own car was parked in the driveway of your place. And he doesn't look like he' taking any goodbyes either way. Rounds of goodbye and see you laters are soon offered. "Take care of our girl, Hotch." Derek calls, and you hear Spencer as he starts to rant about Derek's turn-of-phrase.

Our girl. Hotch finds that the words repeat in his head like an obnoxious echo. "Why are you doing this?" you question quietly. "If you're just trying to make up for the whole Agent thing, there's no need." you proceed, and you take a small step back.

"I'm not trying to make up for that." he replies quickly. "But, you're drunk, and you've been through a lot tonight." he reminds you as if you're ditsy or something. "It wouldn't be smart to leave you by yourself." he continues, and he inhales deeply. He watches the way you watch him, like you're unsure, like you're suspicious. "That isn't a testament of whether or not I think you can handle yourself... and neither was fighting that man at the bar." he promises, and you blink.

"No?" you ask, and your tongue feels extra dry. Like you've licked a stripe of sandpaper.

"No." he reaffirms. "You mean a lot to the team. We wouldn't be the same without you." he says this bit like he means it, and you can't find any trace of a lie residing in his face. He does mean it.

"Thank you, Sir." you reply under your breath, exhaling the word. The chill of the night finally gets to you, and you shiver.

"Can I take you home?" he asks, and you know you're reading into it more than you should. You know what he means, what he's really asking, but delusion was healthy every now and again, right?

"Y-Yeah." your head nods, voice wavering slightly as you take hold of the bottom of your dress. "Yes." you say more firmly.

"Okay." you stand there for a few moments more, passing charged glances back and forth. "You never answered my question earlier." is what he says to break the moment. "About how you were doing..." he proceeds. "I've asked you twice, and both times you-"

"Deflected?" you offer, and his head nods. "I guess I'm just scared you'll see right through whatever my answer is." you admit, and you cross your arms, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. "Emily and JJ will at least humor me." you explain. "Penelope won't ask... mostly because she's scared of the answer." you chuckle awkwardly. "Derek and Spence, well I guess they're like you too... but you're here, and they're not... so here we are."

Hotch appraises you for a second, but he doesn't say much else. You're grateful for that, but equal parts annoyed that he wasn't leaping to tell you that you were harder to read than you thought. No such luck. Still, you're surprised when Hotch grabs you by your arm, much gentler than earlier, and he's slowing his stride to be in step with yours. You don't realize you've leaned fully into his side until you feel him tense up. He doesn't say anything though.

A win is a win.

You didn't know much about the inner workings of Aaron Hotchner's mind, but you did know that if he was uncomfortable with your proximity, he would have said so. The walk back to Hotch's car is silent. At least outwardly, inside you were panicking. He opens the passenger side for you, and you imagine a world where this was normal. Where it didn't take you being hit on by sleazy men at a bar to be having these moments with Hotch. But it was impossible.

"Did it hurt?" you ask, once the car is moving. He's adjusted the temperature, a soothing warm pooling from the vents. You're surprised at how quickly he drives, you'd half expected him to be one of those slow as molasses drivers. Hotch looks over at you incredulously, his eyebrows raise, but he doesn't look agitated nor annoyed with you breaking the silence again.

"You'll have to be more specific." he replies, and you hum. You pause for a second, trying to find the right words. At the last second you decide saying it straight would be just as good as anything else.

"Punching that guy?" you ask, and Hotch's lips quirk upwards, he was amused with you. In truth, he had no idea what he was thinking. As soon as the girls had ushered you away, he'd found himself swinging before he could think of the repercussions. All he knew was that you'd sounded scared, you'd sounded unlike yourself in a way that made him angry. Everyone saw how you had changed, the elephant in the room was hard to ignore. But you were trying, he could give you that.

"No." he mumbles, and that likely has a lot to do with the fact that he hasn't come down. He's still on edge, still watching you like you might at any moment start spiraling. "Besides, it was worth it." and he says this a bit under his breath, you hear it all the same. "I doubt he'll try it again." he admits, and you feel liberated. It was nice to have someone fighting for you, fighting the fights you weren't capable of.

"Thanks, Hotch." you hum, and it triggers a yawn.

"Back to Hotch?" he asks, and you look over at him confused. You kick your feet back and forth, careful not to dig your heels into the plush of the car's floor.

"Would you prefer I call you sir?" you ask, and he is tapping on the brake, the car slowly peeling to a stop as you come up on a red light.

"No." he answers sternly. "It's not like you." he admits, and the light is turning green again. He steps lightly on the gas, the car surging forward "Especially if you're only calling me Sir, as payback for me calling you Agent." he says, and even though you had tried your hand at pretending the greeting hadn't bothered you, it was obvious he had read right through you.

"Why'd you do that?" you question and your tone is a lot more clipped than you had intended.

"So it did offend you?" he retorts, and you feel anger flaring up. You swallow this feeling, hands balling up by your side.

"Hotch." you snap, and he smirks fully, eyes back on the road. "Can you be serious, please?" you ask, and you probably sound pitiful.

"The last month I've just been..." he trails off momentarily, and you wonder if he's emotional, or just being dramatic. "I should have known better." he expresses. "I should've been there to make sure that what happened didn't." he says, and you tense up. "He never should have gotten the chance to get close enough to cart you off." he completes his thought, and you're shocked. You never would have guessed Hotch blames himself for what happened to you.

"That wasn't your fault." you promise, and you mean it. You'd never once thought of blaming Hotch for what went down. "You were confident in the plan, you were putting your faith in the team."

"There is a very thin line between confidence and arrogance." He rebuttals instantly. "We got cocky, and you suffered because of it." he looks so destroyed as he says this. "And then you showed up tonight, and tried to pretend everything was fine." he notes as you remain silent. "It just reminded me that we're too close." he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. "The longer you stay in the unit, the more you become numb to the things we see. You start to ignore the signs that you're not alright." he says, and you'd never thought of it that way.

"Hotch..." you exhale.

"I called you Agent to set up a boundary, or at least I tried." he says this like he's beating himself up. "But then I saw the way it hurt you." and he looks ashamed. "And I never want to be someone who does that to you." you're warring with your heart then. "So I wont do it again." he promises, and he looks to you briefly. "I'll call you by your name, I won't deflect." he adds as your mouth drops open just briefly.

"But, it's not right for someone your age to be so closed off. It's not right for you to pretend to be okay just to keep up with the people around you. If you weren't up to being out, you should've stayed home, our opinions don't outweigh your safety." he lectures you. "They never will." he adds a second after, and he's so sure as he says this. He's slowing down, coming up on your place.

Your leg is shaking slightly, that pesky feeling of anxiety creeping back up on you. "We're here." he says under his breath as if you weren't aware. You don't budge, you can't. You have so much to say, but where do you start. Hotch has shut his car off, almost like he too has a lot sitting on the tip of his tongue.

"I just wanted to prove I could handle it." you admit, and you're crying. "I didn't want to be another Gideon or Elle... or Spence." you cringe at the memories. "I didn't want you guys to handle with me with kid gloves. I didn't want you to see me as the girl who needs the kid gloves." you express honestly, and now your tears are falling in quick precession. "I'm sorry..." you swipe at your face. "I don't know why I'm crying, this is so stupid." you hiss at yourself.

"No, it isn't." the response earns him a surprised glance. "It's good... this is good." Hotch is quick to use a hand to swipe at your tears. He hates the sight of them, but loves what they mean. Your heart's still soft, pliable. You haven't fully succumb to the horrors of the job. "Consider this me atoning." he prompts. "You have my ear, say whatever you need to say." he looks over at you again, and seems to mentally backtrack. "If it'll help you." he adds.

You sniffle audibly, hands clenching and unclenching as the car suddenly feels much too hot. "It's not your fault, okay?" you repeat, and you say it with more certainty. "I just need you to know that." you sniffle again, but your tears keep falling, even as you try to blink them away. "Hotch, you're our leader for a reason, and you were there to save me that night, and you were here to save me tonight." you remind him. "I don't want you to pull back, not when I'm finally making some progress with cracking that hard exterior of yours."

Hotch's lips quirk at your words, and he looks down at his lap. "I've never meant to pull back from you." the inflection with the last words sticks. "I thought I was doing right by you... pulling the band aid off before you got in too deep." he says. "But that was wrong of me, I can admit to that. I'm sorry." and his apologies are like kisses. They wash over you, and force you to believe him.

"Don't apologize to me." you plead, "Just promise not to leave me behind, treat me like an outsider again." you continue as his head nods, and you can trust that he's listening.

"I can do that." he promises.

That seems to be the key to unlocking the dam of your emotions. You choke on the feelings, a quiet sob escaping you as you clasp a hand over your mouth. How dramatic, and pathetic, and God awful were all these feelings. But they'd been years in the making, right?

"Are you alright?." he asks under his breath, worry palpable.

"Do you know that the only thing that kept me from losing it that day was you?" you ask, and your boldness won't leave you, clearly it was now or never. "You told me to 'keep breathing'... you said it over and over and over, and I listened." you explain, and he remembers the day too well. "Even though everything hurt like hell, and there was so much blood." you reminisce. "And I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy, but there was this look." you exhale sadly. "This look you had on your face that made me think... 'maybe it's not just me'"

It isn't. He knows that instantly. You've plagued his mind so severely for so long that he can just barely remember a time where you weren't one of the only things he thought about, worried about, cared about. But he had his post to think about, he was the Unit Chief, your boss, your superior. What would the team think? What would Strauss think? Did it matter? In the grand scheme of things, did those worries outweigh his need, his innate desire to see you safe and protected from harm? Absolutely not. So what was the real problem?

"Hotch..." you inhale deeply, voice cracking distractingly as he gives you his full attention. Something you'd dreamed of, wanted more than anything since the first time you'd ever laid eyes on him. "Aaron." you correct, and you breathe again. "I've been thinking of how to say this... i've been rehearsing it over and over again, because I wanted to get it right, and I just knew tonight would be the night I'd have to have the balls to either say it or let it go forever." you admit.

"Say it..." and he's rushing you, but you suppose that's deserved. You were still stalling, dragging this out way more than you needed to.

"I'm in love with you." and it was out there, and you couldn't take it back. You stare him down, worried about his reaction, about how he would respond. "And it took me getting hurt, and being sent home, away from the team for me to realize." you inhale shakily. "I kept having these-these dreams about that night. All these different scenarios about how things could've turned out different, how I could've died had one thing been out of place." you process.

"You're the reason I'm still here, you're the reason why this team can function, and you're the reason why I- why I came tonight even though my anxiety told me it wasn't safe. Because, somehow I knew that as long as you were here... I'd be okay, and I am." you say, and it's a lot, too much maybe. His reaction is hard to read at first, face just as stoic as most times, but his eyes.... his eyes hold the truth. They melt, pools of warm honey dancing in the darkness residing there.

"And it's inappropriate... and wrong... and silly... but- I couldn't go another day without you knowing, without you hearing from me." you explain. "When you came up to the bar tonight I just... I've never felt this way before... lucky, protected, safe.... and-and I'm not asking for anything from you... I'm not expecting something in return, I just wanted to get it out there... I think we both know it's been a long time coming..." and your words are being swallowed as Aaron leans forward. The middle console is a bridge, a roadblock.

It doesn't deter him though, not from using a hand to gently cup your face, mouth slotting against yours as if it belonged there. You're dizzy, shocked, surprised, but you don't let this mess you up. You can't possibly allow anything to mess up this moment. Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two... the seconds tick by with neither of you moving to break the kiss, hands and tongues and breaths fanning over one another as you get acquainted in the most perfect way.

Still, life dealt lots, and yours consisted of a need for oxygen. It's the only reason why you break apart with heady gasps, eyes dilated and fogged with emotions much too heavy to really explain. "Oh, you can't do that." you explain, and Hotch's bemused, eyebrows raising upwards, as his thumb brushes over your cheekbones.

"I can't?" he asks, and he sounds so much lighter now.

"No, you can't. I'll get the wrong idea, you know." you explain, and he smiles brazenly at your callback to earlier. "I'll actually believe you're in love with me or something." you say, and Hotch is slow as he leans back in, a peck being placed right on your lips as your eyelashes flutter, and your heart beats out of control.

"We can't have that, can we?" he's following your lead with the callback, and your cheek presses into his palm.

"I don't know." you answer, and your voice is faint. "I'm scared this'll be a dream." you proceed as Hotch's eyes scan over your frantic face. "I'll wake up and find out that this was all in my head, and the only memories I get to hold on to are from that night." Hotch's lips purse, head shaking in denial as you inhale shakily.

"No, not this time. an ambitious remark. "This time it's real." he promises. "This time I'm here with you to make sure that all those things you felt that night, and earlier by the bar, are how you keep feeling about me." he answers truly. "I'm here to love you back for as long as you'll have me. Is it alright for me to feel that way?" he asks, and your hand jumps up to keep his squished in place against your face.

"You can feel however you want." you reply, and he laughs, a full blown chuckle escaping him as his face seems to light up like a thousand suns. His eyes glisten, twinkling as he looks down at you, like everything was right in the world. And to him it was. Nothing and nobody could hurt you here.

"Good. Then I choose whatever this between you and I leads to, I choose the feelings that come with that." You smile grows to an almost blinding brightness as you reach across the console to hug him, and pull him into your arms. He's quick as he presses a peck to the top of your head, eyes still dancing over you as if he was seeing you for the first time. And maybe he was, that part wasn't your business, all you knew was that loving Aaron was easy, it could be.

A long time coming, but a wait well worth it. Lucky you.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds angst #criminal minds x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch #aaron hotch x reader #hotch x reader #hotch x you #hotch x y/n #hotch imagine #hotch smut #aaron hotch hotchner #ssa aaron hotchner #thomas gibson #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotchner smut #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner x female reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch angst #criminal minds scenario #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x you #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fic

[secretly-tumb1r]

Roadtrip - hotch x reader

summary: when hotch finally sheds his stubbornness, he decides to drive back to Quantico from New York, in an attempt to rest his punctured eardrum. You couldn’t leave him without company, so you join him.

Warning: 18+ MDNI, making out, alcohol usage

A/n: first hotch fic hope you love it!! Also i cant exactly remember the dialogue between hotch and prentiss at the start forgive me😭. Enjoy lovelies💞

(gif not mine all credits to original creator <3)

“Here, for your flight back.” Hotch hands the platter of baked goods to Agent Prentiss.

“What, you aren’t coming with us?” Her eyebrow cocks up in curiosity. “No, I really shouldn’t be flying” He shakes his head. “are you sure? it’s a 7 hour ride back to Quantico” Rossi asks, words chosen carefully. Hotch looks down. “I’ve taken that road before, you’ll see loads of country, beautiful scenery, maybe you should extend your trip a day or two.” Hotch easily picks up what he was putting down, suggesting he should take a rest. “Thank you” “Take all the time you need” Rossi nods at him and gets in the black SUV.

“Hey.. care for some company?” you smile brightly at Aaron and surprisingly, he returns the gesture. “Sure why not, hop in,” his eyes twinkle with happiness at the thought of you two on a roadtrip alone, maybe even in a hotel room. You cheerfully make your way to the passenger door, waving a quick goodbye to the rest of your team.

“Well.. we all know what’s gonna happen in the one day Hotch and y/n will take off” Morgan teases. “I don’t wanna think about it..” Reid grimaces at the thought, earning a laugh from the rest.

—————————————————————————

You had been on the road for quite some time yet. The sky was darkening and you were engulfed by silence bar the quiet radio playing in the background. Your eyes dared to close as your head fell down as sleep was consuming you. Work lately was.. exhausting. Aarons eyes shifted slightly from the road to your tired physique and his heart nearly broke. Seeing you so tired, he made his mind up to pull over at the nearest hotel.

It wasn’t for another 2 miles that his car finally stopped, and you were awakened from your slumber by a soft voice. “y/n” he gently patted your shoulder, “cmon wake up, we’re at a hotel” you stirred in your sleep “mm 5 more minutes” you practically moaned and leaned into his touch. His mouth went dry, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as a he took a big gulp. “y/n, wake up” he said a bit sterner. Your eyes shot open at the familiar voice, embarrassment filling your body. “Sorry! sorry i’m up.” you try to look as awake as possible. “cmon let’s go in we’re both tired”.

Hotch was normally so.. stoic. His face blurred of any emotion except seriousness. You were pretty sure in the one year you had worked at the BAU, you’d never seen him smile. That was awake Hotch, sleepy hotch was merely the opposite. It looked like all attempts to contain human emotion were discarded a few hours back. Sleepy Hotch was more.. human like, it was refreshing seeming him emit feelings like the rest of us mortals.

“I’m sorry sir, we only have one available room right now.” Hotch’s gaze didn’t shift off the guy at the till. “It’s fine. We’ll take that please.” he hands him his credit card. “Are you sure? There’s only one bed in that room” Your breath hitched. You’d either be sharing the bed or one of you would have to sleep on the floor, which you assumed Hotch would take it upon himself to take his place on the floor. “Yeah it’s fine we’ll work something out” he sighs deeply and shoves his hands down his pockets.

Aaron tried to keep his composure at the thought of you two sharing a bed. Of course he knew it wouldn’t happen, he’d have to sleep on the floor, but the thought of it suddenly made him wide awake.

When you made it to the room you realised you had no change to sleep in, so you discarded your pants and bra and pulled your button up shirt that reached your mid thighs down. Stepping out the bathroom while tying your hair up in a low bun, Hotch’s breath hitched in his throat. You were radiating. Even tired and only in a shirt you still managed to look exquisite. His eyes hungrily scanned your body stopping at your exposed thighs, arousal building up inside him. He did his best to look you in the eye as he stared in silence.

“Like what you see boss?” You teased, your eyebrows lifting suggestively. “uh- “ he gulped hard. “i’m gonna go uhm- yeah”. He disappeared in the bathroom. Splashing some cold water on his face, he took his tie, belt and button up shirt off, leaving him in his pants and a undershirt he appeared to wear under his shirt. When he stepped out, you had to keep yourself from salivating. His biceps looked incredibly big, and his pants fit him perfectly. You bit down on your bottom lip, a gesture you only did when you were excited. Hotch knew that. His confidence building back up inside him as he repeated your previous words.

“Like what you see” and he suggestively raised his eyebrows like you did just moments ago. “uh- i- “ He laughed brightly, which took you by surprise because untill a few moments ago, you hadn’t even seen him smile before. Your shoulders relaxed as you slumped down on the bed. “so i’ll uhm- take the floor” he began to say. You quickly interrupted him. “cmon boss, don’t be like that, it’s only one night. I promise i’ll keep my distance” His mouth twitched into a smile, and his heart grew. He didn’t think you’d suggest sharing a bed, but he was glad you did. He joined you in bed, heart beating so hard he thought it would jump out his chest.

You couldn’t help but feel giddy, like a highschool kid with her first crush. His presence was so hard to ignore, and your body moved before your mind as you turned to your side to face him. He was laying on his back looking up at the ceiling, he looked so beautiful. You couldn’t help but admire his features. His dark eyebrows, and even darker eyes, his high cheekbones and his big nose. Something about big noses excited something in you. You had no idea why.

Hotch turned his head to look at you, his eyes scanning your body. Your hands were pressed under the side of your head, and your leg was slightly bent, showing the curve of your ass. He felt his pants tighten as he abruptly got up, walking to the mini bar.

“Would you care for a drink?” You lifted yourself on your elbows to look at him. “Sure why not”. One drink turned into two and two turned into too many, and quickly you were laughing and telling eachother embarrassing childhood stories.

“No i’m not even lying! I licked his teeth!” you said as you teasingly pushed his arm. Hotch, between laughs, said “Your first kiss, and you licked his teeth?” He collapsed on the bed laughing. “What can i say i wasnt the best kisser”. Suddenly, he stopped laughing, his eyes filling with lust.

“Are you still bad at kissing?” His dark eyes bore into yours as you softly said “yes” picking up what he was putting down. “Why don’t you show me and i’ll give you some pointers.” His hand met your cheek, grazing it gently, as he pulled you in, his lips crashing onto yours. He tasted like alcohol and sweetness, intoxicating. His cologne filled your nostrils as you shifted your legs to straddle him, both of your thighs pressed against his ribs, as he cupped your face and tilted your head back, deepening the kiss. His hand moved to your thighs, kneading the soft skin making you gasp. He took the opportunity of you opening your mouth more to slip his tongue inside your mouth. His soft tongue dancing in a slow rhythm with your own. He moved both of his hands to your thighs gripping them tightly as your hands make their way to his hair, pulling it.

Your mouths moved in tandem and unity, a pace that was so calming yet so awakening. You had never felt this way before, and now that you had, you never wanted to back to feeling how you used to.

first part what do y’all thinkkkk?? i know this isn’t very “erotic” but i js needed to see if you guys would like it. Lmk if you do and i’ll post a very very spicy part 2 lovelies. LOVE YOU ALL MWWWAHHHH kisses xoxo💞

#secretly tumblr #criminal minds #matthew grey gubler smut #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotch fluff #aaron hotch smut #hotch x reader #dom hotch #aaron hotch angst #hotch x you #hotch x y/n #hotch x oc

[wispystar]

☁︎·̩͙✧

aaron hotchner . ii

✦ = finished | ✧ = not finished

Feel free to recommend me some more fics! If there is any author that doesn’t want their work on here pls let me know and I’ll remove it. Series are at the bottom. Be warned for spoilers. I will not be adding spoiler warnings so tread lightly. please lmk if links arent working

back to <;- aaron hotchner . i

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Almost Perfect Secret by @thisismynerdyself

genre: fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: aaron & y/n are secretly dating and jack is the one that spills the beans

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And I Will Care For You by @quillvine

genre: fluff, gn reader, established relationship | summary: hotch caring for you after a hard case

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blackmail by @ddejavvu

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: like imagine sitting next to hotch on the plane ride home from a v/ tiring case and falling asleep on his shoulder or something really sweet and everyone sees it but hotch just covers her up and stuff and then like it’s super cute and soft

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Believe . ii by @smile-hotch

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: just a cute blurb about you and hotch.

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Comfort by @ssahoodrathotchner

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: on the plane back from Alaska, you and Penelope tease Aaron and Derek

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cheater by @/ddejavvu

genre: slight angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: wait your new hotch blurb got me thinking what about they got secretly married and everyone knows that hotch is married they just don’t know it’s to bau!reader because he seemed very genuine in the wanting privacy so (after complaining) they respected that, and maybe one of the team members sees hotch and bau!reader kissing in the hallway of a hotel or something and confront him about cheating on his wife

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Catching His Attention by @imaginethebau

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: aaron and reader have been dancing around each other for awhile, reader is getting sick of it and hopes that sean hotchner will be the one to help get aarons attention.

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comfort of home by @/ssahotchnerr

genre: fluff, slight angst, gn reader established relationship | summary: aaron is on a case where there were children involved, and he comes home and the first thing he does is go to your kids and just hold them while they’re sleeping and then you ask if he’s okay and he just breaks down and you hold him while he cries

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Dizziness by @benedictscanvas

genre: fluff, slight angst, gn reader, bau reader | summary: “i’ll drive you to the hospital”

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Dinner for Three by @happiest-hotch

genre: fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: Going to the BAU with the intention of dragging your boyfriend away from working all night proves to be a good decision when you meet a team member of his who needs some cheering up based on the ending scene of 11x09 with an Aaron Hotchner x reader component

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Enough For You . ii by @cconstant-ccraving

genre: angst, slight fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Hotch doesn’t like the new agent, Y/n. Much like he treated Prentiss when she first joined the BAU, he is distrustful of her. He’s harsh and a drill sergeant, even going as far as to belittle her theories in a group briefing. That is, until she takes a bullet for him.

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haunted . ii by @bau-drabbles

genre: angst, gn reader, bau reader | summary: emily, one of your close friends in the bau, comes back and after months of crying over her death you're not sure how to feel. it hurts the most when the deception also comes from aaron, the man you've loved for so long

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hitched by @/ddejavvu

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Wait Omg the thought of bau!reader and Aaron being secretly married but reader forgetting to take their ring off??

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Happy Little Accident by @uncpanda

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader, pregnant reader | summary: after a night with her boss reader finds out shes pregnant. There is no way to tell him as he is overseas.

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I Promise to Never Let You Go by @hotch-stufff

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Yours and Aaron's wedding depicted throughout flashbacks from your relationship

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"let me do this for you, please." by @spacedikut

genre: fluff, slight angst, gn reader, bau reader | summary: it’s left to you to help aaron with his injury.

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like dad does by @/ssahotchnerr

genre: fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: where jack starts trying to take care of the reader the way he sees his dad does

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Jacket by @/ssahoodrathotchner

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: Aaron loans you his jacket and there’s no way he’s getting it back.

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Midnight Rain by @honeypiehotchner

genre: angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: You were a new agent at the BAU when you started dating Hotch, but your position was temporary. So was your time with him.

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morning voice by @readerstories

genre: fluff, gn reader, established relationship | summary: “It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”

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mystery girl by @/ddejavvu

genre: fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: the bau sneaks into spencers apartment and they find a girl in his bed

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mistaken by @/hotch-stufff

genre: angst, fluff, gn reader, bau reader, parent reader | summary: you thought aaron also had feelings for you but you were mistaken

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mine @/luveline

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: aaron hotchner is protective of his agents. | tw/warnings: slimy man

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made just for you by @mickisnotclever

genre: fluff, angst, no reader | summary: hotchs longing to belong | tw/warnings: mentions of abuse, hotchs childhood

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No words needed by @ssahotchnerr

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: f you're someone who constantly needs to be playing with something (hair elastic, jewelry, etc) but you have none available, he would let you play with his fingers.

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Never gonna let you go. by @hoe4hotchner

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: aaron feels guilty over always being away and is worried that you're gonna leave him

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Not So Bad by @honeybrowne

genre: fluff, slight angst, gn reader, established relationship | summary: you are having what feels like one of the most inconvenient days of your life, but Aaron is there to remind you that it’s not so bad.

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(Not) enough by @allysunny

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: You overhear a phone call between Aaron and one of his coworkers, and it makes you second-guess your entire relationship with him.

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Need You Here by @/ssahoodrathotchner

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: You have a close call with an explosion

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Pictures of You by @/ssahoodrathotchner

genre: fluff, slight angst, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: you lose your memories of the last few years, including the ones of your relationship with Aaron. The rest of the team thinks it’s hilarious. | notes: this is like my fav hotch fic ever

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personalized by @/ssahotchnerr

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: Mom!friend reader bringing everyone cute lunches at the bau with personalized little notes for each person 😭 maybe hotch doesn’t even know that you do this for the others too so when someone mentions readers cooking, he’s like “wat”

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Selfish by @velvetcloxds

genre: fluff, fem reader, established relationship | summary: sleepy talk with aaron.

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shy by @/ddejavvu

genre: fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: Can‘t stop thinking about the usually so confident hotch getting yk kinda shy and clumsy all of a sudden, everyones just so confused as to why he‘s getting a bit quieter or redder in the face with seemingly no reason

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soft spot by @ptersparkers

genre: fluff, slight angst, gn reader, bau reader | summary: hiii can you write something w Aaron where maybe he has a soft spot for Reader?

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spontaneous phenomenon by @luveline

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Hotch touches your face much more than a boss should. Or, 5 times you have a nosebleed +1 time Hotch does.

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stolen locket, golden locket by @benedictscanvas

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: your husband wears a locket, but you only find out as it’s crushed under the boot of a man you wished you’d never met

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till death do us part by @ssahotchhner

genre: angst, fuff, fem reader, bau reader | summary:  reader and hotch breaking up, but the reader doesn’t know the real reason the relationship ended.

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There is a Light That Never Goes Out by @/ssahoodrathotchner

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader, established relationship | summary: you get kidnapped by an unsub and needless to say, it’s not fun | tw/warnings:  swearing, blood, injuries, stabbing, panic attacks, kidnapping, hospitals

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underserving by @honeybrowne

genre: angst, fluff, gn reader, established relationship | summary: after forgetting your anniversary, aaron is consumed with guilt and can’t help but feel like he doesn’t deserve you or the gift you gave him. you prove to him that he does.

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unprofessional by @kryptonitejelly

genre: angst, fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: hotch learns how much he really does need your little touches throughout the day.

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Up in the Air by @ladylibby

genre: slight angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: Ever since joining the BAU, you’ve had the sense that Hotch doesn’t trust you. But one night, after a tough case, you accidentally fall asleep on his shoulder. After that, things start to change between you and the surly SSA…

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worried by @winterscaptain

genre: angst, fluff, gn reader, bau reader | summary: anyway we could get a worried!hotch blurb when you’re in the hospital after getting injured? i’m a sucker for anything fluffy with hotch

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when we are together by @wildflowerluver

genre: fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: 5 times jack pushes you and aaron together and the one time it works

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you'll always know my by @the-modernmary

genre: slight angst, fluff, fem reader | summary: “I would have stayed… If you asked me to." After your high school graduation, you left without saying goodbye to Aaron Hotchner, your best friend, and nobody had heard from you since. Years later, you’re back in DC, and catching up with Aaron brings more than you could have possibly hoped for.

—-

✦ A Truth Universally Acknowledged by @moon-light-jukebox

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: “It doesn’t matter that he hates me, it doesn’t matter…I just wish I knew why.” Reader is a member of the BAU that is liked by everyone…except her unit chief, Aaron Hotchner.

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✧ As it seems by @/ladylibby

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: The BAU is accustomed to change – different cases every day, agents coming and going, roles changing – so the addition of a new member, an Administrative Liaison, should be no different. But the moment you arrive, everything changes for the better (Hotch just doesn’t realize it at first)… | notes: some chapters contain smut

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✧ Anchored by @confused-pyramid

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader, bau reader| summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons. | tw/warnings: canon!typical violence (including SA, guns, child abuse, etc.), swearing, slow burn, eventual smut, more specific warnings included in each chapter

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✦ Breaking Up Slowly by @hotchs-bitch

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: You and Aaron have very different ideas of a perfect future together. Is there any way you can both be happy?

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Life Changes by @wilbur-rabbit

genre: fluff, angst, fem reader, bau reader | summary: This is a series of one shots about your time in the BAU and your eventual relationship with Aaron Hotchner. | notes: this can be read as a series or as one shots

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✧ Meant to be . ii . iii . iv by @agent-whiskeys-sweetheart

genre: angst, fluff, fem reader, bau reader | summary: You are studying to be an FBI profiler with a little over a year left before graduation. When the BAU team shows up in your town for a case you jump at the chance to shadow them for a day. However, things quickly take a turn when you meet Aaron Hotchner, your future boss. And the most breathtaking man you’ve ever met. | notes: most likely discontinued

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#♡ — fics #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds angst #criminal minds fluff #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch fluff #aaron hotch angst #aaron hotchner fluff #aaron hotchner angst #aaron hotch imagine

[thewulf]

Unexpectedly Part 2 || Aaron Hotchner

Request: The reader is a member of BAU, but nobody knows her dark past. She's running from her abusive ex. Once he hurt her so bad (fractured skull, several severe injuries) he left her to die in their apartment. Nowadays she keeps that past hidden, as good as she can... See rest here

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Y/N

Word Count: 7.1k

TW: Abuse. Both physical and mental. General Criminal Minds TW – talk of blood/gore/death/stabbing etc. AGE GAP between reader and Hotchner, reader is implied to be younger 25-35.

*Two Months Later*

‘I’m in Virginia. Just like you. How peculiar?’

Hands slightly shaking you gently placed your phone down on the conference room table. It never was going to stop. The slight form of torture this cruel man imposed on you. Knowing that just when you seemed to forget about him, he’d come crawling right back into your field of view. Remind you that he was always going to win. He’d been messing with your head sending these vague texts from new numbers after you blocked the old. It wasn’t enough that you’d changed your number three fucking times now, he always seemed to find a way.

You’d contemplated asking Garcia for some help. She would make you disappear in an instant. But, then you’d have to deal with the repercussions of telling the office gossip the juiciest tea that they’d had in a while. They’d all know, and you weren’t sure you could deal with that just yet. You were finally feeling steady and confident in your abilities again. Feeling like you were doing great at work again. You couldn’t mess this up.

Truth be told you hadn’t a clue what came next after this. JJ was still planning to be off for another few months. Perks of having a decent government job, as they say. But what came after that? Were you really just planning on running away time and time again only to be chased by this guy? That wasn’t a life you wanted to live. It wasn’t a life you were willing to live if you were honest with yourself.

An opaque sheen glazed over your eyes as you looked outside ignoring the text that loomed over you so harshly. It’d been five days since he bothered you. You’d almost forgotten. Almost.

A featherlight touch brushed over your shoulder breaking you out of the trance you were deeply in. Jumping your eyes widened when you spotted Aaron looking down at you.

Things were… complicated with him. You liked him. He liked you. But it couldn’t happen. No matter how much either of you wanted it to. They just couldn’t. Not while he was your boss. He had made that adamantly clear in the two months you’d been working for him. The two of you seemingly having the conversation almost every week now.

“Sorry.” His usual stoic face didn’t break as he sat down next to you, “I was calling for you. Everything okay?”

You hummed while nodding your head, “Yup. Just thinking.” Absentmindedly you grabbed your phone holding it in your hand on the opposite side from him. He noticed. He noticed all the small things about you and what you did. The things you probably didn’t even know that you were doing. How sometimes you got spacey when your phone went off. How you were clearly hiding something from him. But he wouldn’t push. It wasn’t his place as your boss. Not until it affected your work did, he have a right. No matter how much he desired too.

“Are you sure?” He raised an eyebrow, challenging you. He knew how much you hated that. Hated being questioned like a toddler. Being the only not profiler on the team had you on the defensive all too often now.

“I’m good Hotch.” You nodded briefly before getting up. Being around him was downright suffocating. It was hard to be alone with him when you wanted so much more. It was selfish to run. Childish even but you couldn’t stand it. Not when the two of you danced around the subject so awkwardly.

“Wait… Y/N. Before you go.” He coughed spinning around in the chair.

You paused. He hardly used your first name at work. He knew exactly what to do to get you to stop. Pause for him, “Yes, Hotch?”

He stood, towering over you as he stopped in front of you. Hotch just made you feel small. Not that it was a bad thing per say. Just intimidating. And right now, Aaron Hotchner was terribly fucking intimidating without even trying to be. Whatever he asked you were sure you’d answer, all too honestly.

He decided to confront you. He hadn’t a clue what came over him as he started stating facts. The profiler coming out, “You’ve hidden your phone away the last four times I’ve run into you lost in your thoughts.” He paused collecting his thoughts, “You get all spacey and people have a hard time getting your attention. Is everything alright?”

Your heart rate picked up. How’d he notice? He was the best of the best but damn. You thought you did so much better, “You sound like Spencer.” You remarked, clearly deflecting.

“Y/N.”

You sighed, “Please don’t tell the rest of them?” You knew there wasn’t a chance you could come up with an excuse good enough to please Hotch. It was the truth that had to be told.

He nodded offering your seat back to you. Slowly walking back to the chair, you sat there staring back out the window before starting the long story of how you fell in love, fell into a trap, got engaged to a monster, and somehow got away before he fully killed you. Or so you thought.

He never interrupted you. Sitting there patiently as you divulged your biggest secret to your boss. The man you had a disgustingly big crush on. He only continued when you paused for a while. He knew it was the end of your story and it had taken a toll on you telling him all of that. He needed to come at you gently now. It explained so much about you.

“Y/N… that’s a lot.” He sighed knowing his words weren’t great. He was a good boss but never good with words. He showed his love for his teams through his actions. He always seemed to fumble his words, “I’m so sorry.”

You nodded, “It’s fine. It’s not the worst part.”

His head snapped right back to you, “What’s the worst?”

“He found me again. He’s been texting me. A new phone number every few days. Usually something threatening.” You opened you phone showing him the latest text message.

He snatched it from your grasp reading over it carefully. Well, this officially sucked for you. Maybe you should’ve told him sooner judging by the expression on his face, “You know I have to go to Garcia. She’s going to have to trace this…”

You interrupted him, “No! Please Aaron no. They can’t know. You promised.”

“This is serious!” He snapped, never taking safety lightly.

You took an involuntary scoot backward in the chair. Fight or flight mode beginning to kick in hearing his stern voice that he rarely used with the team.

Seeing your distressed face, he shook his head internally cursing himself for the outburst. You’d literally just spilled your deepest fears to him, and he was already seemingly betraying that trust already. Putting his hands up he took a small step forward, testing your boundaries, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice it’s just that this is very serious Y/N. We both know what he’s capable of. This isn’t something you hide. Not when you work here.”

You nodded looking away in guilt, “I’m sorry. I thought I could handle it.”

“You don’t have to handle it alone Y/N. You’ve got some of the smartest people in the field right here. All the resources you need at the tip of your fingers. You know the team would never judge you for something you can’t control. Please tell me you know that much.” Aaron’s face softened seeing you so upset.

“Yeah, it’s just… I don’t know.” You sighed while you rested your head in the palm of your hands refusing to look at him. This felt awkward and uncomfortable. Your absolute nightmare.

He waited a moment, realizing you weren’t talking anymore, “Go on. Say what you want to.”

“It’s embarrassing. How could I not have caught that he was lying the whole time? It’s shameful.”

He shook his head scooting closer to you, “And I got played by a serial killer who literally murdered my ex-wife and almost took me too. It’s not embarrassing. It happens. The best of the best get beaten. Believe it. You’re a victim and you’re being retraumatized right now. Please. I need you to understand that. I’ve grown to…” He took a second to find the right words, “care for you. I can’t see you beaten down and scared around every corner. Alright?”

You shook your head. You heard him. You weren’t sure if you believed him, but you sure did hear him, “Sure.”

He waited another moment before continuing, “That being said. I don’t have to go to Penelope if you have somebody stay with you. A friend? Just in case.”

You frowned. Not having anybody was really coming to bite you in the ass. It’s not like Hotch was going to drop this, you knew that was a given, “I don’t have anybody around here. I haven’t really had time to make many friends. Busy job and all.” You admitted still trying to find a footing outside of work. Although the hours made it damn near impossible.

He thought for approximately one second before springing into action, “Let me call Jess. She could probably watch Jack tonight…”

You shook your head back and forth, violently, “No!”

“Why not?” He looked genuinely confused.

“That’s weird Hotch. You’re just my boss.” You might’ve thrown a little more attitude in there than you really needed to, but you wanted him to know how unhappy you were with that. How much you yearned to at least be considered friends. But he shut it down the second you crossed the line.

“It’s not weird.” He would’ve scoffed if he knew it wouldn’t have upset you. He was getting good at making you upset. That was about the most opposite thing of what he wanted, “I’ll sleep on your couch. Just to make sure you’re safe.”

You sighed knowing the two of you would just be going back and forth but you needed him to hear how crazy he sounds, “Aaron. I’m not letting you abandon your son for the night to sleep on my couch. I’ve been fine for the last two and half months. I’ll be fine tonight.” You smiled hoping it’d appease him.

He shook his head, “Yeah, that’s just not going to happen. Not now that I know about it.”

“Hotch…”

“No, that’s final. Jess is good with watching him for the night anyway.” He held up his phone showing you the text as proof.

“You’re being insane.” You leaned back in your chair annoyed with his stubbornness.

“And you’re being irrational.” He countered annoyed with your inability to see how serious this really was, “Y/N. He probably knows exactly where you live. If he found you that quickly he’s probably been watching you.”

You shook your head, “I’ve been paying attention Hotch.” Eyes closed you didn’t want to admit you were almost afraid to open them. You knew you were pissing him off. It wasn’t often that anyone, besides Rossi, argued back to the boss. It was his way or the highway, as they say.

“I’m not saying you haven’t Y/N. But these people… people like that will never stop. That text is very threatening. Please. Please just let stay over. To make sure you’re okay.” He was saying the words he couldn’t say but he needed to. Your unwillingness just to see how scary this really was drove him to his breaking point.

Huffing you gave him a small nod, “Fine. But going forward…”

He cut you off, “We’ll figure out going forward tomorrow. Don’t worry about it tonight.”

“But Hotch…”

Cutting you off again you groaned in annoyance, loudly, “Just, try to relax. I’ll think of something. I know you don’t want me to tell the team and I’m going to try and respect that. But you have to know if it’s between your safety or them knowing… keeping you safe is all that matters.”

Your leg bounced up and down and your stomach feeling uneasy you looked up to him, “Yeah, sure.” Simply too tired to argue with the ever-confusing man you shut your laptop before getting up to go pack up. It was already half past eight, the team was long gone.

The sun was beginning its descent for the night, casting an orange hue on your boss. It dawned on you as you admired, he man you’ve been crushing on way too hard, being teased and all about it, that he was staying in your apartment that night. Under any other scenario it was entirely desirable but now? Not so much. Not under these circumstances.

“Where are you going?” He asked, slightly surprised you’d been so bold as to walk away in the middle of the conversation.

“Packing up then going home.” You paused in the doorway sneaking a quick peek back at the man you was watching you intently.

He frowned after hearing your words, “Give me three minutes then I can drive.”

“Oh, I can drive myself home. I’ll text you the address.” You gave him a half-hearted smile. Truth be told you were far too excited to have him spend the night. Even if it was in another room. He insisted on it. But then again, he’d already set a clear line in the sand with you. You could only be his employee when you worked for him. Nothing more. Nothing less.

He smiled trying to ease your obvious nerves, “You’re being weird about it.”

“I’m being weird? Hotch, it’s fucking weird.” You spun back around preparing to walk away before he caught your attention again.

“It’s only weird if you make it weird.” His smile turned into a smirk. He knew how you felt for him. You were pretty sure you knew how he felt for you. This back and forth was driving you mad. Like he wanted to play the game but knew it couldn’t be won.

You wanted to smack the usually so intelligent man, it felt like he was just playing you like a fiddle now, “Yeah, sure.” This time you walked away making sure to pack up quickly. Your speedy exit was stopped suddenly as he got into the elevator with you. Somehow with his go-bag and all.

“What’s wrong?” He asked setting his bag down turning his body completely to you. He knew what he was doing to you. He knew it was mean. He couldn’t deny it. But he loved flirting with you, getting you a little wound up. He’d be lying if he didn’t say he adored you just as much as you liked him, if not more. But he couldn’t risk it. For his career. For your blooming one.

You leaned your shoulders and head back on the metal wall, “You’re kidding?” You sighed while lazily flipping your head in his general direction.

“I’m not.”

Rolling your eyes, you knew he’d make you say it out loud. It was easier to spit it out than skirt around the subject, “This is torture. Working so close to you all the time. You flirting like that then turning me down the next fucking second.”

“You know why nothing can happen.”

“I’m very well aware. We’ve had this conversation before Hotch. A million times.” The two of you had delicately danced around the conversation, never full on admitting any feelings. Hotch had to squash that before it came to fruition.

He visibly frowned knowing he was upsetting you, “You can call me Aaron.”

“But I can’t! None of your other employees do. So why should I? What makes me special Hotch?” You challenged him. He couldn’t have both at once. He couldn’t just be your boss then talk to you like this. It was driving you mad.

He sighed knowing you were right, “Rossi doesn’t.”

“Rossi’s different and you know that.” You were frustrated. As much as you loved the job you couldn’t keep going down the path of yes one moment and no the next. Hotch just couldn’t comprehend just how crazy he was driving you. Either that or you were hiding it insanely well.

He cleared his throat knowing he really only had this chance to not fuck it up between the two of you. He’d been trying to come up with different ways always to be struck down in his own mind. He’d continue thinking though, for both of your sakes.

“Y/N. I like you. More than a boss should like their employee.” He paused letting out the breath he was holding in, “I can’t risk anything right now though. I can’t risk it and you can’t risk it. Not with this guy out to hurt you, with Strauss up my ass about the team…” He trailed off knowing this was just turning into an excuse now.

The elevator chirped as Hotch paused, signaling you were at the bottom. You walked out quickly hoping he wouldn’t follow. When he met your stride, you continued on, “It’s fine Hotch. I get it. Please just stop playing with me when the team isn’t around. It’s diving me crazy. If it can’t happen, it can’t happen, and I can accept that. I just need you to back off.” It hurt you to push him away. Even if he was staying at your place your quietness and unwillingness to even open up to him let him know you were shutting him away.

Turning away from him before you could see his reaction you walked to your car briskly hoping he’d just take his. It’d be far too awkward to share a vehicle now. Not after you just said that to him.

But you were sorely mistaken. You heard him following along. Not so close as to freak you out but close enough to where you knew he was there, “Keys.”

“I can drive myself.” You retorted irritated with him. He wasn’t listening and it was making you irrationally angry. Acting as if what you just said didn’t faze him.

“No, you really can’t. You’re upset and you really shouldn’t drive when you’re angry.”

Biting your cheek, you knew he was right. You placed your car keys into his outstretched hand. Refusing to look at him you walked to the passenger’s side contemplating sitting in the backseat knowing it’d cause more problems than it was worth. Sliding into the passenger’s side front seat you crossed your hands over your chest in disdain. Could he not say a single fucking thing? This was how you knew you were in deep. You cared way too much about this little pickle you’d gotten yourself into.

This time the ride was awkwardly silent as you looked out the window. Putting your address into the GPS without saying a word. Keeping your eyes locked on the world outside you let your thoughts take control.

The silence was broken when he finally said something. Almost as if he could hear your thoughts screaming at him, “I’m sorry, Y/N.” He sighed bringing your eyes over to his. You couldn’t help but to look at him. You wanted him to say something but had no idea how to respond to this.

He continued before you could say anything, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry, I’m selfish with you. I know I can’t pursue you like I want to. Trust me, I want to.” He whispered the last part out. Almost afraid to admit it out loud. As soon as he does it becomes real.

He sighed again. Frustrated the words weren’t coming easy for him. Your soft eyes broke him down even further. He knew his next words would put a final nail in the coffin, for now at least, “If you weren’t on my team, we’d be having a very different conversation Y/N. Please believe that. I’m so sorry that I’ve been selfish… done and said things I shouldn’t have. I won’t do that anymore.”

You looked away biting your cheek as hard as you needed to stop the tears from flooding out of your eyes. Why was this so difficult? Why did you have to have feelings for the one fucking man you could never have?

He frowned knowing he had hurt you yet again. It was his own fault he had to keep hurting you and it stung knowing the tears in your eyes were a result of his actions. He kept bring you right back to him and he knew it. He wanted to stop. He needed to stop knowing just how fucked up what he was doing was. Especially now that he actively realized it after you so bluntly pointed out.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I really am. I’ll figure something out.” He whispered out not knowing if you really heard him. He knew saying those last words were dangerous, likely to draw you right back into him.

It dawned on him that he simply couldn’t push you away anymore. It was beginning to hurt him. It had been hurting him already, he just hadn’t realized. That’s why he was always so flirtatious and open with you, he wanted it. His stupid head just didn’t let him know it yet. Not until he knew he was the reason for your tears. For your unsureness with him. He did this to you. He had to fix it.

He needed to be around you. He had to figure this out. He knew the only option was to find you another placement, but he’d come up short. There was plenty out there but nothing good enough for your abilities. So, he had to pass, for your sake. Time was running up. JJ was due back in the next few months too.

He had no other option than to go to Strauss. He hated it knowing he’d be obligated to her, but she’d find you a good place to land. Somewhere close at his request. That was absolutely necessary. Especially now since he knew your position, the imposition.

You heard him though. Loud and clear. Giving you whiplash yet again. You weren’t sure how clearer you could be to the man yet here he was saying all the right things. The words were slowly becoming meaningless to you. He got a little nervous not hearing you reply to him. At the next red light, he looked over seeing you looking out the window with all your attention, clearly ignoring him. He’d done it now. His own indecisiveness driving you right away. He knew if he didn’t do something soon, you’d move on from him.

“Y/N.” He touched your shoulder gently.

Turning to look at him you attempted to give him an expressionless face. A frown crossed over your features instead, “Yeah?” Your usual confident voice came out as weak, squeakier than normal. You hated that he affected you so easily. So deeply.

“Did you hear me?”

You sighed, “I did.”

He had to look forward after a car honked at him. Sitting a second too long as the green light, “Please say something, I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Okay.” You let out. You knew it would frustrate him, but you didn’t have any thoughts just yet. Your brain wanted to shut down instead of talking it out. You were tired of the same conversation with him. Only to be disappointed.

“Okay?” This time he let out a small, short sigh. Not in frustration at you but at himself. For being so blasé with you. Thinking he had it figured out with you but now knowing he had it so terribly wrong.

“I’m not sure what you want me to say Hotch.” You couldn’t use his first name. Not if you wanted to stop feeling this way. It’s like the two of you were so close, so damn close to figuring it out. But yet it felt nearly impossible. You were at a loss for words. Truly, had no idea what to say to the man that always seemed to be on your mind.

“I don’t want you to say anything you wouldn’t want to say Y/N. I want to know what you’re thinking.”

If he really wanted to know? Fine, “You’re so fucking confusing Hotch.” You blurted out placing your hands over your face while looking down at your feet. The car felt so small now, suffocatingly small as he pulled into your apartment complex, eyes now fully focused on you.

Nodding his head he loosened his tie, “I’m selfish and I’m sorry. I will figure this out. I promise you that.”

“Figure what out though? What is this? What are we? I can wait but I can’t wait forever.” Your eyes began welling up again. You hated that your response to any emotion seemed to be tears. Never in your life would you have imagined yourself in this situation. Crying over a

“Hey,” Gently, he placed a hand along your back hoping it’d bring you some peace, anything he could offer, “I like you beyond words Y/N. I’m sorry I’ve been too stupid to realize it. I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you. You don’t know how bad I want to just say fuck it and kiss you right now but that’s not fair to you. Me saying that isn’t fair to you.”

You could hear your heart rate pick up as blood rushed throughout your entire body. He was actually torturing you now. For too long you’d had little daydreams fantasizing about the older man. What it’d be like at home, away from work, just the two of you and Jack. You’d met the little firecracker of a kid a few times over the last few months, he quickly took to you Aaron noticed. Just another reason why he liked you so much. You are a natural energy, drawing everybody in. It worked so easily on him he wasn’t surprised Jack liked you so much.

Giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze, he continued, “I like you. I want to pursue you. I can’t until I know you have a job elsewhere.”

“A job elsewhere?” You too knew it was one of the only options, the only option. It just felt so foreign coming from his mouth. Not wanting to admit how fond you’ve grown of the team in your short tenure you dreaded having to prove yourself again to the next batch of colleagues.

He nodded, “Somewhere close. Where I’m not your boss.” His eyes searched for your as you dropped your hands. You hated to admit it but here you were, right back in his grasp, literally. The man had a strangle hold on you.

Head turning to his you leaned into his touch, “Are you sure?”

A small smile graced his face, “I should be asking you that Y/N. I don’t know what you see in me.”

Rolling your eyes, you knew the difficult part of the conversation was over. The awkward and uncomfortable air started to lift, “Shut up. You’re the whole package, Aaron.”

“I’m over fifteen years older than you.” Now it seemed Aaron was letting his insecurities out

You shrugged still so grateful he was still holding onto you, as if you’d vanish out of thin air if he let his hand go from your shoulder, “And?”

“Guys your age…”

“Guys my age suck. Remember? I’m running from one. Not so successfully.”

His smile faded quickly as he remembered exactly why he was here, “Let’s get you inside, yeah?” On high alert he hopped out of the car quickly walking to your side. Before you could be too disappointed with the loss of touch on your shoulder, he quickly wrapped you into his side. Slowing his pace down to keep up with you he kept checking his positions. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, at least not to you.

“Yeah, sure.” You replied knowing it’d drive him mad. Short answers like that pissed him off usually. But now you were using the same words you used earlier to dismiss him.

“Okay well now you’re just being difficult.” He smiled knowing you we’re playing with him. Another reason he had fallen so quickly for you. You weren’t afraid to throw it right back at him.

You bit your lip trying to stop the automatic smile that came to your face. You were being difficult, and you knew it. Catching a glimpse of you with his peripherals Hotch smiled too knowing he’d smoothed it over, at least for now.

Your phone vibrated as he locked the door behind himself. Your heart sunk as you read over

“Y/N?” You vaguely heard before handing the phone to him. He was watching you.

‘A new boyfriend, really?’

“I’m calling Garcia and that’s final. We’re done talking about it.” He didn’t yell but he definitely spoke with that Hotchner authority that scared the living hell out of nearly everybody.

The two of you had argued it out into the night and well into the morning before falling asleep on the couch, together. You’d fallen asleep first nuzzling your way right into his side. Not having the heart to move you, even after arguing back and forth for the previous four hours.

“It’s for your safety, Y/N. Please just understand that. It’s not just some silly little text anymore. This is serious.”

Letting out a sigh you nodded, “Fine.” You weren’t going to win this one. The man was seriously stubborn, even more so than you.

“Thank you.” He popped his phone out calling Garcia almost immediately. He excused himself to the other room. Finishing the oatmeal you’d made you quickly changed. He’d given the team the weekend off knowing that you’d all been on the road for the last few and needed a break.

Before too long he came back into the kitchen where you were cleaning up, “She’s looking into it, discreetly.”

You nodded, “Okay, can we got get some coffee or something? I don’t imagine you’ll let me spend this weekend alone?”

He shook his head, “No. Sorry, I know it wasn’t in your plans. My parents already picked up Jack. He’ll be there until they drop him off at school on Monday.”

“Plans change I suppose. I’m sorry you aren’t spending time with him. I know these weekends are precious.” A small pang of guilt ran through you. He was giving up his time with his boy for you. Willingly. You felt awful poor Jack. You’d taken his dad away for the weekend.

“Like you said, plans change.” He didn’t want to admit the little bit of excitement that came with the thought of spending a weekend with you even at the disappointment at his little guy.

“So, coffee?” You changed the subject back not wanting to dwell on the young boy.

He nodded, “Coffee sounds good. I’ll drive.” He went to grab your keys off the rack beating you to them.

“Don’t you need your car? And clothes?” You asked when you realized he was quite literally stranded here. It’s not like you had anything to give him to wear other than a few oversized sweatshirts and sweatpants.

“We’ll stop by my place on the way back.”

“Are we close?”

He nodded, “Relatively.”

Placing your order online the ride to the shop was uneventful. Both of you were scanning the surrounding cars for any sign of the man. It’s like he was in stealth mode.

His phone rang as he pulled in. It wasn’t like he could ignore it. He was SSA Aaron Hotchner after all. Walking inside you let him take the call from the car knowing it’d take you less than a minute to walk in and grab the order.

It should have been that quick. That was until you were cornered feeling a metallic blade press up against your hip bone. How in the fuck had he slipped past Hotch? How in the hell was he here? You smelled him instantly in that dreaded cologne.

“Y/N.” That voice you’d prayed you’d never have to hear again spoke out to you.

Trembling you knew you had to keep him distracted, “Get the fuck away from me.”

“Nice to see you, alive and well.” He chuckled knowing that’d bring you right back to the night he left you to die.

He was ignoring you. Nothing you could say or do would impact the situation at all. Looking around you cursed when the last customer left, and the barista sat on her phone. You could try and reach for your phone, but the man wasn’t stupid. He’d know exactly what you were up too. All you could do was stall now in hopes he would hurry up the call he was on.

“Can’t say the same.”

He gripped down on your arm. Oh, how you wanted to cry out in pain but you knew that’s exactly what he was looking for so you simply gave him the most blank expression you could muster. You had to psychologically beat the motherfucker. He had the physical advantage on you.

Lucky for you Hotch did wrap his call up quickly. You heard his gun click into place before you saw him out of the corner of your eye, “I’d suggest you let her go, now.”

“New boyfriends got a gun huh?”

This was your chance. If you had one, “I thought you did your research? You slipping up?” That’s all it took for him to throw you backwards into the table behind you. This got the attention of the barista whose eyes went wide seeing the confrontation and weapons out so openly. Your head knocked against the side of the table opening a new cut along the back of your skull. Sending you unconscious for a moment before your brain reset.

Aaron wanted to shoot, oh did he. But he knew his surroundings. Middle of the morning in suburbia wasn’t exactly the best place to unload a clip. So, he opted for the next best thing and tackled the inferior police officer before him knocking him down quickly sending the blade out of his grasp.

It was over before it started. You jumped to your feet not realizing your head was bleeding yet again from the man. Your head felt fuzzy as you spotted Aaron overtop your ex-fiancé handcuffing him easily enough. Aaron’s gun tucked back into his belt loop. You were so thankful that Aaron was okay.

Sirens rung out in the distance as you found a seat, head feeling heavy all over again.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked placing his hands on your head forcing your head to look at him gently.

“I’m fine. Did you get him?” You asked

“I’m so sorry Y/N. I didn’t even see him. It was Garcia. She was who I was on the phone with. Calling to warn. Fifteen seconds. Christ, are you okay?” He rambled ripping the jacket he had on placing it on the open wound.

“I’m fine Aaron. Just a little lightheaded. It’s okay. I’m okay.” You looked up at his panic-stricken face. He was obviously blaming himself for the entire predicament.

He pulled you up seeing the ambulance pull in. He wasn’t taking any chances as he found the EMT quickly, “Head wound. Loss of a lot of blood. She said she’s lightheaded.” The EMT nodded as he sat you down in the back of the rig.

“Let’s have a look. How bad does it hurt? Out of ten?”

“Like a three.” You smiled to the man as he checked you over. Pushing Aaron’s hand away as he was ready. Head wounds always looked a whole lot more traumatic than they actually were… at least that’s what you’d always been told.

“It’s okay if it hurts.” Aaron crouched down so he was level with you. Eyes scanning over your face for any discomfort.

“I’m a little offended you don’t believe me. This is only a three compared to what he’s put me through. Trust me.”

Aaron shuddered realizing just how horrifically you’d been abused by the man, “Alright, if you say so.” He knew you probably weren’t up to talking about it so he knew he likely needed to drop it.

“I say so.”

The EMT had managed to stop the bleeding enough to get a good look, “You’ll just need a butterfly bandage. No stitches. You did lose a lot of blood though. Are you able to stand?”

You smiled knowing it was almost over. Sure, he wasn’t dead, but he also wasn’t likely going to be free at the end of this all. You felt at peace knowing you could fully focus on yourself going forward and not be afraid around every turn, waiting for him to show back up.

You did manage to stand albeit a little woozy. Aaron wanted you to go to the hospital, but you knew you were fine. Maybe just needed that coffee and a nap now.

After giving statements and assuring Garcia you were both fine Aaron drove you back to your place. Assuring you that he’d be fine in your oversized clothing. He didn’t want to stop home. He just wanted you to be comfortable. He felt sick knowing what had went down could have been stopped. But he failed you.

He helped you all the way back up to your bedroom. You might’ve leaned on him a little harder than you really needed too but it was your chance and you sure as hell weren’t going to miss your opportunity. If he was going to be selfish then so were you.

“Aaron?” You asked before he walked away.

He turned looking down at you softly. So sweetly, “Yeah?”

“Can you stay? At least until I fall asleep. Then I’ll be fine.”

Smiling, he knew how much that took for you to ask, how uncomfortable it made you, “Of course. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Yeah?” You asked smiling as he slid in next to you.

“Yeah.” He waited for you to scootch up to him before he pulled you into him completely. You wanted to hate how good it felt but you couldn’t. It felt so right. So comfortable, “Sleep well.”

“Thank you, Aaron, for everything.” You yawned into his chest as you drifted off letting yourself get swallowed in his warmth.

He kept true to his word. When you opened your eyes after a few hours he was sitting there watching you.

“Hi.”

“How are you feeling?” He turned his body towards you, scooting down so his face was level with yours.

“Good. Really good.” You smiled over at him.

He returned your smile, feeling a little bit better at your state, “Good. I’ve been thinking. I have an idea.”

Eyes flicking over to the man you’d become so quickly infatuated with you gave him a curious look, “Oh yeah? And what’s that?”

“So, in a few months when JJ is ready to come back. What if a communications position in ViCAP were to open up? Could even be a promotion if you know the right people.” A small smirk danced over his lips as he studied your expression softly. He knew how harsh his gaze came off if he wasn’t too careful. He didn’t want to scare you off now that you were free for the first time in years.

Eyebrows raising in shock you studied his face. He was all business though, no jokes, “Really? The Violent Criminal Apprehension Program? Isn’t that like super exclusive?”

He shrugged pulling you closer. Taking that as an invitation you softly laid your head on his chest. Almost afraid that’d he’d change his mind on you. Want nothing to do with you. Your fears were null and void as Aaron brushed the stray strand of hair out of your face, “It might be. I’m partial to you staying with the team but that would make this terribly unprofessional.” He snaked his arm around your waist bringing your body as close to his as it could be.

A stupid little blush graced your cheeks feeling the desire of being wanted from such an incredible guy, “Aaron Hotchner. Did you pull some strings for me?”

A hesitant nod confirmed your suspicions, “Maybe a little. We couldn’t lose you at the BAU. You just wouldn’t be my employee anymore.”

“Sure.” You giggled laying your head back down, “Hypothetically I would say hell yes if that were offered to me. Hypothetically though.”

He nodded, that big beautiful Hotchner smile came out, just for you, “Hypothetically, noted.”

The two of you sat in comfortable silence. Aaron absentmindedly began to brush through your hair. You hadn’t a clue how touchy the man really was, but you certainly weren’t complaining. You hummed feeling lulled by the steady motion of his hand, “Keep that up and I’m going to fall right back asleep.”

You felt the gentle chuckle that came from his chest, “That’s alright. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

You smiled feeling all the love emitting from the man you liked far too much, far too quickly, “Wait, he’s in jail. I don’t really need to be staying here anymore.” You opened your eyes fearfully. A little pissed at yourself for bringing that up.

An immediate frown formed as he processed what you said, “I’ll stay as long as you need me. As long as you want me.”

“Thank you Aaron.” Watching him he nodded as he watched you. The two of you simply studying the other. One profiler and one wannabe profiler studying the situation.

“I’d do it again for you.”

You were at a loss for words. This was the Aaron you adored. The one who wasn’t afraid to tell the truth. To get uncomfortable with you as you learned the other. It was the beginning of something wonderful and he was diving headfirst into it. But he was making sure you were ready before pulling you in with him. He didn’t want you to drown.

“I like you so much Aaron.” You admitted, “Far too much. These last few months have been some of my favorite yet. And you were only my boss. My friend.” You let out the breath that you’d been holding in. His softness, the closeness, his smell all overwhelmed you into admitting it.

A soft hand pulled your face to look back at his, “I like you far more than I should as well. We’ve got to keep this quiet for a few months. Then I’m taking you on the best date you’ve ever been on.”

You smiled brightly relieved that he was feeling the exact same way, “Yeah?”

“If you want, that is.”

“Yes! Yes, that’s great!” You grinned laying your head right backdown on his chest.

He nodded smiling just as widely as you, “It’s a date then.”

“It’s a date.”

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