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arcanesea · 3 months

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give up

PAIRING: jeon wonwoo x reader GENRE: hurt-comfort, burned-out gifted kid WC: 501 WARNING: reader is heavily demotivated, violent self-thoughts

"What if I just give up?" You ask nonchalantly. The book in your hands long forgotten because you can't get a single word into your head.

"That doesn't sound like you at all, though," Wonwoo commented, earning a sigh from you.

"What am I like?" you ask him then. Slipping your thumb to the page you last read, holding it in one hand. You look up to him, waiting for his response.

"I don't know, darling. What do you want to be like?" he asks back. He places his hand on your cheek, caressing it with such tenderness that makes you want to ramble all day and night to him. "You know I'm here if you want to talk, right?"

You know. Hell, he's the reason why you have the courage to explore your emotions, navigating the bubbling joy and boiling rage you experience day by day. He's always careful with his words. He knows all the right things to say at the right time.

"I don't know," you sighed again, sitting down now. What do you want to be like? Has your academic achievement been enough? Moreover, is it worth all the sleepless nights, and nauseating afternoons you had to embrace in order to get those striking A's? Or is it finally taking its toll on you when you're one step from graduating? Perfectionism like a barbed wire, tight around your throat.

Wonwoo take your hand in his. He knows everything. About the way you read everything but understand nothing at the same time, about your frustration of building a flawless method for your research, about your restless consultation. He's always ready to lend a hand if you need one, but most of the time, you only require his shoulder to cry on.

"Want to know what I think?" he asks you, tracing circles on the back of your hand. You nodded, tears are threatening to spill if you ever did as much as blink. "I think you did great so far."

You open your mouth to protest but fall back to silence. Nothing works on you anymore, you wish his word would change that.

"I also think that it's okay if you haven't figured it out yet, after all, it's a tough process. I would tell you that everyone has their own timing, but you also need to know that you don't have forever. For this one specific thing, you don't have forever. If you want to try other stuff, if you want to know what you truly love doing in life, you don't have forever to figure this one out."

And you hate how much he's right about that. You can't juggle everything in one timeline or you'll burst into flames, consumed by your own greed for achievements.

Wonwoo called your name, swiping a tear that finally escaped.

"But I hope it eases you to know that I will spend my forever walking beside you, holding your hand. You don't have to figure it all out by yourself."

a/n. this is very much self-insert idk what else to tell you bcs i be doing everything except my thesis:)

#k-labels #caratsland #seventeen au #seventeen imagines #seventeen fic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen drabbles #seventeen x reader #svt au #svt imagines #svt fic #svt scenarios #svt drabbles #svt x reader #(wonwoo fic #wonwoo au #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo drabbles #wonwoo x reader

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certifiedlovergirlsstuff · 15 days

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stalker!reader/unsub!reader for spencer reid

tw: mentions of blood, graphic descriptions of murder, usual CM gore, suicide.

-noticing him one day when he was at your job for a case asking questions about a victim/killer. i’m gonna say season 4 reid (before he gets shot in the leg). you were stuck to the shadows just observing him and his colleague when boom! his eyes meet yours and you feel a spark, your body tingles. he noticed you.

-he walks away from his colleague who was talking with your boss, towards you, hands in his pockets and this long wavy hair swaying with his motions. he stopped three steps away from you and said, “hello, i’m doctor reid, with the fbi. i was wondering if i could ask some questions about…” his voice was deep and smooth, he pulled you into a hypnotic trance. you just nodded and answered his questions honestly.

-he came back a second time, just saying that the case was over. that was it, you weren’t even personally involved, but he came back for you. he must’ve felt that same spark, that pull to someone magnetic. he even gave you his card and said, “if you even are in area or in need of help, just ask for me.” now how could you not be obsessed with that man after that.

-so you started to follow all the cases the fbi or bau was mentioned, hoping for a glimpse of the names spencer or dr. reid. you kept a folder of photos captured of him from news footage or newspaper articles, red inked hearts circled his head while anyone else was harshly scrubbed away in black ink. his gentle smiles or lovely eyes pierced at your heart each time, it was slowly bleeding into your lungs filling you up to suffocation. you need spencer reid.

-when cases went quiet you started to search relentlessly for him online. you forced yourself to ingest every thesis paper he’s ever written and watch any lecture that was posted. he drew you in with the wave of his hands or how he would ramble then bring himself back to the topic at hand. how you wanted to pick his brain, just sit and listen to him for hours taking about anything he’s stored away.

-it’s been a year since that case. you miss him, you want him in your grasp. maybe you should put that business card to use and just call it, that’d be a lot easier. so you mustered up the courage, pulling the card from your wallet and dialing his number you breathed slowly and pressed call. the line rang three times before it picked up and you heard his voice, “dr. reid, how can i help?”

“uh, this is y/n…” he said he’d remember you so you just gave your name for recognition. the line was quiet for three seconds and you could hear some faint chatter on his end before he responded, “i’m sorry, i- i don’t seem to-“ and you hung up the call before he could break your heart further. he lied.

-it was like you just went through a breakup for a relationship that wasn’t even real. your bleeding heart completely cracked and spilled like fire through your veins. spencer reid is going to regret ever forgetting you and his promise. so you started to do some studying, researching past cases with the bau involved, looking for inspiration from convicted killers

-you find some that were unique but still easy to accomplish with your own physic in play. most of these killers were men, stronger and taller than you. you start to craft your calling cards, poems and roses, anything symbolic to a relationship and heartbreak. you’re nervous your first night on the hunt. you decide to go a bar and wait for someone to make their way into your web.

-you’d dance on them and kiss them, closing your eyes shut and imagining this it what spencer would taste like, how his hands trailing over your curves would release butterflies in your belly. his breath ghosting along your pulse before sucking a bruise into your skin. “wanna get out of here?” seductive eyes watching your toy nod and drag you behind him out the club, heading to his place.

-the make out session was hot and getting steamy, pushing him in the direction of his bedroom. you played the kinky card, “gonna tie you up and gag you, be a good boy.” left in nothing but his boxers he was bond and gagged. playing a teasing game you left him alone while looking for some type of weapon. pulling a pair of black gloves from your clutch and the pointiest knife from a drawer you dragged yourself back to his bed, straddling him at the waist, keeping your hands behind your back. “you’ve made this night very special. wanna know why?” playing coy while pulling the gag down from a second.

the toy cocked a brow with a shit eating smirk, “of course, doll face.” his eyes dropping to your chest and it caused you to grimace. “you’re the first victim of many.” whispered as you slid the fabric back into his mouth

“wait wh-“ muffled when you stabbed him with an angered forced into his heart. his screams were still loud but with music playing in the background and his mouth full, no one would be the wiser.

-you called in sick for the next few days, needing to be consistent for the bau to be called in. you’d go to clubs or even strip clubs, any place that’d have willing men bring you home preying on you while you were the pretender. you kept the killings pretty simple, just stabs to the heart and letting them bleed out, you started to draw heart on their walls from their blood, the red turning black when drying. and finally before leaving a folded note with a poem or a piece of your soul written out was safety pinned to their skin.

-the news started to call you ‘the heartbreak killer’ stupid, but they always wanted to give killers case names. adding a new flare to your lastest kill, you’ve scattered red and white rose petals over their body and a ruby red kiss to their cheek. your fifth victim in a week period. you had a hunger for it now, killing gave you an adrenaline rush that was better than any rollercoaster or scary movie, you vibrate with excitement each night. you started dressing more bolder, wearing wigs even, making sure you stood out for anyone that was connected to your toy of the night.

- “we’ve called in the fbi behavior analysis unit to help us find this serial killer. with them here we plan to catch them before there is another victim.” goosebumps scattered over your forearms hearing the sheriff’s announcement. finally, he’s here. your spencer reid came for you. “in do time, my love. we’ll be reunited properly.”

-you took a sixth life the night they arrived, wanting them to know your usual stalking grounds. it would be easier to ‘accidentally’ bump into spencer, rather than actively search him out. so the next day you dressed down, wanting to look more normal, become a wallflower. you were nursing a drink in a shaded corner with watching eyes surveying the crowed hoping to see the tall dr. reid. “uh, excuse me, miss.” your heart skipped a beat, it recognized his voice even over the thumping music rattling your skull.

you turned his way casually and said, “you’re very pretty,” sipping on the black straw of your soda. spencer smiled hesitantly and floundered for a response, “uh tha- thank you. i’m dr. spencer reid i work with the fbi-“ he flashed his badge and you caught a glimpse of a younger photo, “there’s been a series of murders in the area and we suspect the killer visits here. have you seen anything suspicious lately?”

your nostrils flared, he still didn’t remember you not even face to face. “well all men are suspicious in clubs,” dulled chuckles at your retort. you saw spencer’s eyebrows quirked, “are- are you by yourself?” he sounded concerned for a stranger, but you weren’t a stranger. “yeah, my friends left me a few hours ago but i just didn’t want to go home yet.” shrugging him off.

he licked his lips, “well i’d suggest not visiting his establishment for the time being.” “but all her victims are men, so i’m safe. but thanks for the concern, nice to meet you doctor.” and you left the crowded bar with a smirk knowing you gave him a hint.

-you went to work the following day, just telling your coworkers you came down with food poisoning and needed and extra day to recover. they cooed over you but you knew most of them didn’t care, its fine you weren’t planning to stay here forever like most. you were cleaning tables and fixing displays when there was a tap to your shoulder. brittany, a coworker, pointed over her shoulder and said, “there’s a spencer reid here to see you. says he’s with the fbi.” you had to repress your smile.

“dr. reid, pleasure to see you again.” a welcoming smile and open posture. he cocked his head, “i- i remember you. from last year…” it’s like you could see his gears turning and clicking things into place. you didn’t bother denying anything just saying, “wow, what a great memory you have.”

his round eyes stared into your soul, “eidetic memory. you called me a month ago…” now you showed confusion, “no i didn’t. sadly lost your card, but i’m safe. we should have dinner while you’re here.” being bold.

spencer nodded his head, “that sounds nice. tomorrow night works for me, i could meet you here.” he seemed excited to have a romantic date with you. your heart raced, “it’s a date.” and you headed back to your work.

-you changed into date appropriate clothing once you clocked out and waited five minutes outside before you saw the tall spencer reid walking up to your side. he had a sweater vest over a button up with a tie around his neck, his gun wasn’t holstered to his hip for the night and his hair was a bit wind swept. you could eat him up.

“bet you have a bunch of girls after you while away on cases.” walking beside him when he suggested an chinese restaurant just down the block. he chuckled, oh your heart stuttered at the melody, “not really. most people don’t like my… personality.” sneaking a glance at you.

“well they’re missing out, but happy since i’m the lucky girl at your side.” looping an arm through his and pulling his close so you could lean your head onto his bicep. “i’ve dreamed of this since you left.” sighing into the air then pressing a kiss to his fabric covered skin, later you’ll get to taste him.

- “i have a question for you.” it’s been an hour into your date, stomach filled with delicious food and effortless conversation. you nodded at spencer to go forward. “at the bar you said the unsub was a women, what made you think that? no sex has been mentioned in the news yet.”

you pursed your lips in thought, “well, stabs to the heart seems emotionally personal. and the hearts in blood and rose petals, along with her leaving love poems. only a hopeless romantic that was horribly heartbroken would do this art.” slurping noodles into your mouth for punctuation. you weren’t trying to hide your truth, “it was the only way to get your attention.”

- “my attention?” spencer questioned. “well, i’ve missed you and when i tried calling-“ “so that was you.” “and you lied about remembering me!” slamming a fist onto the tabletop forcing it to shake. you leaned in close, “i thought we had something special. you didn’t bother trying to reach me in anyway and i’ve stayed updated with your career.”

“i- im sorry, y/n. my job is just very demanding. i would’ve reached out. i- i didn’t think you felt the way i did.” spencer stretched a hand over the table and rested it atop yours, his long fingers curling along your wrist.

“oh baby, the spark when we first met was instant. i was devoted to you the moment our eyes met, i’d do anything for you.” allowing your other hand to creep up spencer’s arm. “i’d kill myself for you if you asked, i’ve killed for you. would you do the same for me?” doeing your eyes and pouting your lips.

spencer leaned forward, his eyes dropping to your lips then back to your eyes, “anything for you, my love.” whispered just between the two of you. you smiled wickedly, “wanna head to my place?”

-once your door was unlocked and open you pounced onto spencer, hands holding his cheeks so you could press your lips onto his. his palms gripped at your hips and pulled your flush to his chest as his mouth devoured yours, moans ripped from your throat.

“fbi! hands in the air!” heavy footsteps and loud shouts broke the air. you didn’t bother acknowledging them, just submerging yourself into spencer until his arms twisted you around and held you in a tight hug. “don’t fight them. stay alive for me.” spencer whispered in your ear before pressing a kiss to your temple.

-six months. you’ve been institutionalized for six months since your lawyer pleaded insanity to the court. said you did everything because you started to stalk and become obsessive with doctor spencer reid. you didn’t bother mentioning that the killings made you feel stable. you’ve been sentenced for twenty five years to life, chances of parole after fifteen years. your family rarely visited you, you didn’t care. you only enjoyed visitation when he was there.

“the doctor is here.” an officer pulled you from the library to bring you into the visitation center. nervously you fiddled with your hair, straightening your beige uniform, wanting to appear put together for your boyfriend. he wasn’t your actual boyfriend, but he allowed you to call him that.

“hi baby.” sidling into your seat across from him, a gigantic smile hurting your cheeks. he wore his standard outfit, sweater vest over a long sleeve button up, no tie today and his collarbones were on display for you along with his forearms. “you look very sexy today.”

“and you look quite pretty today.” spencer visits you once a week at most, sometimes twice if he’s already in the state for a case. you heard it was cause your psychiatrist told him that your symptoms were worse if he was gone for long periods at a time causing you to act out and harm yourself or others. but you know it’s cause he loves you.

“what book are you reading today?” jerking his head to the worn spine. you peered down at the titles with a twisted smile then looked him dead in the eyes, “romeo and juliet. quiet the love story don’t you think?”

#erin writes #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid angst #spencer reid #spencer reid fic #stalker!reader #unsub!reader

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foursaints · 19 days

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do u have any random thoughts about sirius/remus?? literally anything at all- any random blurb or thought just Anything. reading ur james thoughts and i wanted to ask because i feel like any ramblings/character specificities u have about them will scratch my brain rlly good

my thesis for them is that one quote about how soulmates will eventually find each other, because they have the same hiding place

like the longer i spend with them the more i realize that i see them as recluses. perhaps not literally speaking (r & s have their own ways of attracting friends) but they are the two most isolated characters in the story to me. they’re yoked with really specific (yet opposing) burdens that nobody else is ever going to understand. they want to permanently hide their faces from the world & they have both built that kind of barren refuge inside of themselves

many other characters have stories that are built around Love, and the presence (james, lily, andromeda) or absence (regulus, barty, tom) of it, but that isn’t r&s to me. they have the Least to do with love stories because their entire lives are already so wrapped up in resolving super individual questions of freedom & autonomy & the hurt they cause & the hurt they suffered… but that’s why their love story hits the hardest, for me? they’re the least suited for it and it happened anyway.

once again my remus is like…. a city unto himself, but all internal. polite & mild mannered but also impossible to sway. i think he has the biggest imagination of all of them and it’s what lets him remain so Untouched. he’s not a ~creative~ or anything (pretty uncreative, actually) but he’s a poor german werewolf who is living a Little inside his head specifically because his life sucks so bad. he’s a boy sleeping on a shitty mattress but stubbornly imaging himself sleeping on a better one, if that makes sense, and he’ll die before telling anyone that’s what he’s thinking about.

and then sirius is a prodigal girl-son who’s part dog and still operating somewhat like an ex-cult victim after leaving their family. but they’re so beautiful & terrible & spoiled & brave that nobody can See that. sirius doesn’t need a love story because they need their brother back. and remus has so much of his own baggage, and they are both such Monoliths of independence that it’s less like they’re committed to unraveling the threads of each other’s interiority and more like they’re two cars crashing into each other then scrambling to pick apart the wreckage, holding shattered parts up to the light to examine, one crash at a time. it’s crazy.

it’s like… they make the least sense for each other, but not JUST because they’re mismatched (which they are aesthetically, but not personality-wise). it’s because they’re the two people on earth who need romantic love the least and their lives would be MUCH less complicated without it, maybe even better. but they cannot escape each other. they will never escape each other!!! because!!! they have!! the same hiding places!!!!

#a #ITS NEVER OVERRRR A KINGDOM FOR A KISS UPON HER SHOULDERRRRRRR #ITS NEVER OVEEEEEEEERRRRRRE SHES THE TEAR THAT HANGS INSIDE MY SOUL FOREEEEVEEEERRRR #sorry for the mucho texto goddamn. i had so many more opinions than i thought #i think about sirius visiting the shabby apartment that remus PAINSTAKINGLY pulled together in berlin and i need to throw up #i guess my vision for them is like. they’re two stick figures experiencing The Horrors #except remus’s has a thought bubble saying ‘none of this shit means Anything to me’#and sirius’s has a thought bubble saying ‘ALL OF THIS SHIT MEANS EVERYTHING TO MEEEEEE’#but they’re like reacting to the horrors in the same way despite

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literary-illuminati · 5 months

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Book Review 70 – American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis

I’m honestly not sure I ever would have gotten around to reading this on my own, but ended up buying it through the ‘blind date with a book’ thing a bookstore in New York was doing when I was visiting (incredible gimmick, for the record). The fact that it then took me a solid three months to actually finish probably tells you something about how genuinely difficult a read I found it. Not in the sense of being bad, but just legitimately difficult to stomach at points. Overall I’d call it a real triumph of literature.

Not that anyone doesn’t already know, but; the book is spent inside the head of Patrick Bateman, high-flying wall street trader and Harvard blueblood at the close of the Reagan era. Also a serial killer. The story is told as a series of more or less disconnected vignettes, jumping from dinner conversations at one exclusive bar or club or another to the brutal torture and murder of a sex worker to several pages of incredibly vapid pontification on Nina Simone’s discography. The story vaguely tracks Bateman growing ever-more alienated and out of control as the year goes on, but there’s very much not any real single narrative or cathartic climax here. - most stuff just happens (stuff that’s either incredibly tedious or utterly nauseating by turns but still just, stuff).

So yeah this is an intensely literary work (obviously), a word I’m here using to mean one that is as much about the form and style of the writing as about the actual events portrayed. Bateman is a monster, but more than that he’s just an utterly boring and tedious husk of a man, traits which are exaggerated to the point of being fascinating– if you told this story in conventional third person narration without all the weird asides, it would be a) like half as long and b) totally worthless. The tonal whiplash of going from an incredibly visceral depiction of Bateman cutting out the eyes of a homeless man to six (utterly insipid) pages on the merits of The Doors is the selling point here (well actually I think Ellis goes back to that specific well probably one time too many, but in general I mean).

Bateman is a tedious, unstable monster, but as far as the book has an obvious thesis it’s that he differs from the rest of his social milieu only in degree. A symptom of a fundamentally rotten society, not a heroic devil among sheep. The book’s climax, such as it is, involved Bateman getting into a drug-fueled gunfight with the NYPD, shooting multiple people in the middle of the street, and then stumbling home and leaving a rambling confession to every crime on his lawyer’s answering machine – but despite very clearly wanting and trying to get caught and face some sort of consequence or justice, people just refuse to believe that someone like him is capable of anything like that. (It’s not, it must be said, an especially subtle book).

There is, as far as I can recall, not a single character who gets enough screentime to give an idea of their personality who I’d call likeable. Sympathetic, sure, but that’s mostly because it’s pretty much impossible not to sympathize with someone getting horrifically tortured and torn apart (at one point a starving rat is involved). The upper crust of New York yuppie-dom is portrayed as shallow and vapid, casually bigoted towards quite literally everyone who isn’t identical to them, status-obsessed to the point of only being able to understand the world as a collection of markers of class and coolness, and totally incapable of real human connection. Bateman is a monster not because of any freak abnormality, but just because he takes all of that a few steps further than his coworkers.

The book is totally serious and straight-faced in its presentation, and absolutely never acknowledges any of the running gags that are kept up through it. Which shows impressive restraint, and also means that none of them exactly have a payoff or a punchline – it’s just a feature of the world that all the expensive meals at trendy restaurants everyone competes for tables at sound disgusting when you think about them for a moment, or that the whole class of wall street trader guy are so entirely interchangeable that ostensible close friends and coworkers constantly mistake each other for other traders and no one particularly cares. Or – and I’m taking this on faith because fuck knows I’ve got no idea what any of the brands people are wearing are – that the ruinously expensive outfits everyone spends so very much time and money on for every engagement all clash comically if you actually looked up what the different pieces looked like. The book’s in no way really a comedy, so the jokes sit a bit oddly, but they’re still overall pretty funny, at least to me.

I like to think I have something of a strong stomach for unpleasant material in books, but this was the first work of fiction that I had genuine trouble reading for content reasons in I can’t even remember. I’m not sure it’s exactly right to call the violence pornographic in a general sense, but as far as American Psycho goes the register and tone Bateman uses to describe fucking a woman and torturing her to death are basically identical (and told in similarly explicit detail), and all of Bateman’s sexual fantasies are more or less explicitly just porn scenes he wants to recreate, so. Regardless, the result’s pretty alienating in both cases – his internal monologue never really feels anything but detached and almost bored as he relays what he does, sound exactly as vapid and alienated as when he is carefully listing the exact brands and designers every person he ever interacts with is wearing at all times, or arguing over dinner reservations for hours on end with his friends and lovers (though both those terms probably deserve heavy airquotes around them). He legitimately sounds considerably more engaged when talking about arguing over sartorial etiquette. It all adds up to a really strong alienating effect.

Anyways, speaking of sex and violence – perhaps because my main exposure to the story before this was tumblr making memes out of scenes from the movie, but I was pretty shocked by just how explicitly awful Patrick is ‘on screen’. The horrible murder, sure, but also just the casual and frequent use of racist and homophobic slurs, the pathological misogyny, the total breakdown he has at the idea of a gay man being attracted to him and thinking he might reciprocate – all of these are entirely in character for an asshole Wall Street ‘80s Guy even if he wasn’t a serial killer, but it’s still oddly shocking at first to see it so thoroughly represented on the page. It makes how comparatively soft-pedaled the bigotry and just, awfulness, of villains in a lot of more modern books stand out a lot more, I suppose? I have read a lot of books that are in some sense About queerness and/or racism in the last year, and no one in any of them holds a candle to good old Patrick Bateman.

Part of that is just the book being so intensely of its time, I suppose. The New York of this book is very much one of the late ‘80s, incredible wealth living side by side with social rot and decay, crippling poverty everywhere and a society that has to a great degree just stopped caring. Absolutely none of which Bateman or any of his peers care one bit about, of course – they’re too busy showing off the latest walkmans and record players, going to the newest clubs, and just generally enjoying all the fruits of Reagan’s America. Recent history has made the fact that Bateman’s personal idol is Donald Trump almost too on the nose to be interesting, but in 1991 I’m sure it was a bit more subtle in how telling it was.

Anyway, yeah, horrifying and exhausting read, triumph of literature, my god did Easton Ellis hate America (this is a compliment). Now time to go watch the movie!

#book review #literature #american psycho #brett easton ellis

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thetriumphantpanda · 2 months

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good friends and a glass of wine

If someone had told me when I started this blog just over a year ago that I would not only still be here, but also have the best group of friends a girl could ask for, I'm not sure I would believe you. One man and his portrayal of my favourite character ever has brought me more joy than a lot of things ever have.

I started my blog as a way for me to distract myself from my MA and I couldn't ever have imagined that so many of you would enjoy my writing and my ramblings enough to stick around. I look back and think about how far I've come, not only as a writer but as a person, and I honestly cannot thank this corner of the internet enough for what it's done for me. You've all been here through the highs (handing in my thesis) and lows (genuinely wondering if I could do my job during January) and without you and this escape I simply don't think I would have been able to make it through.

To you, my followers, I love you and I thank you, for giving me the ability to have a platform where I can be creative (and horny) and escape those difficult times with you all. Even if we've never spoken directly before, I adore you all.

And to my friends - to those I speak to every day, to those I don't but love dearly anyway, to those I've hugged in person, to those I am about to hug in person very soon, to everyone. Thank you. I love you. You make my life worth living and I'm glad we're all on this little corner of the internet together at the same time.

tagging some friends - forgive me if I forget anyone, I truly do love you all: @undercoverpena @hellishjoel @swiftispunk @joelscruff @janaispunk @mrsmando @joelsgreenflannel @bageldaddy @frenchiereading @thelightsandtheroses @sawymredfox @vickywallace @5oh5 @secretelephanttattoo @joelscurls @hier--soir @atticrissfinch

#PPCUGiftExchange2024 #friendships are the best #and I love you all

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thekidsarentalright · 1 month

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Idk if you have talked about this (you probably already did) but I'm just curious, in your opinion what is the kids aren't alright about? Have you done any analysis on the song?

i probably Have analyzed it but i can't find it and its been so long so. will Happily ramble here about what i think its about <3 tbh this is the most beautiful ask i could ever get thank u <3

since you asked what i think tkaa is about, i'm not gonna do this in the normal way i analyze songs, which is a more line-by-line style to paint a picture of the whole story of the song, but instead just wanna like. ramble fksjdnf about it and what it means to me

i think the entire meaning of the song can be summed up by the line, "and in the end, i'd do it all again / i think you're my best friend", which really is to mean that i think that the overarching theme of the song is that life can be worth repeating and going through again for the people that you go through it with. connection and relationships give life incredible meaning, even with the bad things, even with sorrow and darkness, love makes it worth it- i'm yours, when it rains it pours, stay thirsty like before, as the song goes. when the storm comes, as the rain starts pouring and destruction closes in on you, wouldn't it be more comforting to have somebody beside you? facing the chaos with their hands in yours? wouldn't it be worth going through the storm again (stay thirsty like before) just to have those moments with the people you love?

and normally when i analyze songs, i very much try to stay away from analyzing them in a way that is very personal to pete/the members of the band just because... i don't wanna be presumptive! but, this song feels like one of the few that i Can't look at separate from pete and the band. no song feels more like a love letter to the band, and even to the fans, than the kids aren't alright. this band has known each other for over half their lives, they have been best friends and brothers for longer than they haven't been. every up and down each of them have gone through since they met each other, they have gone through together, they have seen their darkest sides and deepest depressions and through it all have Still chosen to love each other and stick together. as the rain has come and poured on them, as the storm that is life shipwrecked the band and sent them stranded in seemingly opposite directions, the love remained. the found each other again, because they were willing to do it all again for each other. their love and friendship is the purest embodiment of the song, and is the thesis of fall out boy as a band, to me. even through destruction and overbearing egos and inner turmoil each of them were experiencing that we are likely to never know the depths of- they Chose that their bonds were worth it, their bonds made life worth living and fighting for.

i feel that spirit, that life is worth fighting for if you have someone/something you love to Live for, is perfectly encapsulated by the lyrics, "and it's our time now if you want it to be / maul the world like the carnival bear set free"- if you want, life is ours for the taking regardless of the rest of the world. carnival bears were often mistreated and repressed, beaten down for acting in their nature, if one were set free they would finally truly be Free to be how they wish to be. in the context of the song, because we have each other, we can take the world on how We want, we can be who We want to be, Together. This is also something that i think is the thesis of fall out boy- the band of underdogs for underdogs, fighting for a space in the world to be safe and express themselves how they want to, and because they've found each other and an audience that Understands them, they can maul the world like the carnival bear set free. they are mauling the world, with every song released and show performed, they're taking on the world on their terms as a united band of best friends. and with their fans behind them, that spirit is embodied tenfold, making this song not only feel like a song for the band, about the band, but Also about the fans and for the fans.

before coming to any sweeping conclusion, i wanna talk about the bridge, because i feel like it is the last piece that does fully show what i think the song is about in totality. The bridge goes, "sometimes i just want to sit around and gaze at my shoes / and let your dirty sadness fill me up just like a balloon"- other than the carnival bear line, i believe this might be my favorite lyric of the song (which is saying a lot in a song of banger after banger line), as i feel the imagery it paints is just so heartaching and melancholy in such a beautiful way. there's a lot here in these lyrics, from how in the genius annotations pete annotated this line with a still of someone's shoes and a bunch of guitar pedals on the ground- something he would no doubt gaze down at when gazing down at his shoes while recording or performing, hammering home the meaning of this song being about/for the band and the fans. they share their sadness with each other, with the fans (to an extent), and the fans share their sadness back- music is always a reminder of the bond we all share in our heaviest moments, as is the guitar pedals being present when gazing down at your shoes in sorrow or guilt. another point i want to make is about "gaze at my shoes" perhaps being a play on words about "shoegaze" as a genre of music defined by guitar distortion and effects and a dreamy/ethereal feel- connecting the picture, the lyrics, the meaning of the band and fans always being there and music being a connection between us all, in a way. essentially, i feel this lyric is just a very melancholy, beautiful way to say sometimes its very easy to just wallow in your feelings, but having somebody with you to help take on your sadness, having these connections and these bonds, can make it lighter.

to try and find a way to summarize it, i really do just think the kids aren't alright is about love. in its purest form, it's about love. loving other people enough to live for them, finding the bonds and connections that give meaning to a meaningless existence, allowing yourself to feel pain in equal measure with pleasure. these are things that make life what it is, without these things life would be numb, meaningless nothingness. in the purest way, i believe the kids aren't alright is about what it is to be human and to love with reckless abandon, to be free to be and feel and love even if pain is present. Because pain doesn't diminish the love or light you can experience in life, and allowing yourself to believe anything less is to deny yourself a instrumental piece of the human experience.

#i truthfully did not mean to ramble this much but i simply cannot overstate how much this song means to me and how important it is #like it is my ethos as a human being it is my guiding light it is everything to me and putting it into words is!!!!! very important to me #anyways. thanks again for sending this writing this all out was a joy <3 #asks #anon #analysis.txt

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capn-twitchery · 3 months

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I'm sorry did I see you say you did your masters' thesis on character design? could you tell us more? 👀

YES ABSOLUTELY thank you So much for giving me an excuse to go off about this oh my god--SO!! 👀

my masters was on animation, specifically concept art & pitch bibles for animation (i'm not sure how well known those are but basically it's a document/book you bring into a pitch, contains all the basics of the show!) so it focused around making an animated show concept, a pitch bible & a visual development portfolio (just a fancier way to display more concept art) & the thesis (was supposed to) document the thought process behind making it

it was classed as a science masters, which meant the project had to be based around a hypothesis, so things got Muddled (hypothesis was on the rarity of adult horror in western animation) but the core of it was: i wanted to make a pitch for a fake tv show and write about character design & analyse art styles. so i did! there was stuff on stereotypical design traits & what they imply, environmental storytelling, how to show story through character design, how genres affect art styles & why, stylising animals for animation, sticking to historic research vs visual shorthands/readability, off the top of my head.

i will spare you hours of ramblings BUT i will not spare you the chance to show off some of the stuff i made >:3c the show concept was an 1800s (vaguely) southern gothic horror vibe, i went for anthros bc i had never tried them before and wanted something more challnging than humans. story concept was based around ergotism, mass hysteria, unreality, weird creatures in the fields that may or may not be real, power struggles, etc. etc.

the pitch bible i am still so Unbelievably proud of--i made everything basically from scratch myself, drew so many things i'd never even Attempted before, and although i'd change a few things now (mainly the writing/formatting) i'm still proud of it! i think the visitants pag is the coolest thing i've ever made still >:3c here's a handful of pages, and i'll put a few of the visual development portfolio ones under the cut & the links to the full things if anybody is interested!!

i never did get to finish the visdev portfolio bc of a bunch of health issues + a surgery, which is a shame. i do still really like this project tho and i'm immensely proud of getting the degree even through the Fuckery 😌

i'd love to come back to it someday, there's a lot of things i'd like to change now i'm not under a time limit (better historical reference, for one) but it's the first uni project i've still felt passionate about after submitting it, so thank you for giving me the chance to talk about it :D

if you did wanna see the full pieces, the pitch bible is here and the portfolio is here (albeit unfinished)

#inquiries #abstractkind #thank you 1000x hehehehe i always love talking about this #i know it's unrelated to the blog entirely but it's ok it gets an exception #fredspeaks #sorry this is long i hope it's interesting at least >:3

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catcas22 · 1 year

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Fortissax is Fia Theory

Alright people, grab your red yarn and thumbtacks. I need to share this with someone, so you all get to read my deranged ramblings.

Real talk, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

Thesis:

Proposition 1) Fortissax was consort to Godwyn and the mother of the Golden Lineage.

Proposition 2) Fia is the human form of Fortissax.

Some of this theory will be (I believe) airtight, some of it will be based on circumstantial evidence, and some will be reasonably plausible headcanon that I feel would enhance the lore. Take it or leave it as you like.

The part that I maintain is airtight.

In-game, Fortissax’s gender is never confirmed. Any time pronouns are used to refer to Fortissax, the game uses it/its pronouns.

This could be deliberate obfuscation on the part of the game devs. Fortissax’s gender could have been part of a big reveal that ended up being cut from the final product.

It’s also possible that the ancient dragons are capable of changing their sex (ASOIAF dragons seem to work this way), or they simply don’t attach the same significance to sex/gender that humans do.

The Golden Lineage intermarried with dragons at some point in history.

Godrick’s dialogue: “Mighty Dragon, thou'rt a trueborn heir. Lend me thy strength, o kindred. Deliver me unto greater heights.” [Emphasis mine]

Godwyn was the exalted noble who Fia was attempting to resurrect when she first saw the guidance of Grace.

Fia’s dialogue: “After I received the warmth and lifely vigour from a number of champions, I lay with the remains of an exalted noble, to grant him another chance at life.”

Fia after killing D: “Finally, it is returned to its rightful place. The stolen hallowbrand of the exalted noble. And now, I must bid you goodbye as well. Though I ask you deliver this message to the Roundtable Hold. I am Fia, Deathbed Companion. Hark, Roundtable. Disturb not the Death of Godwyn, the exalted.” [Emphasis mine]

The word choice here seems too intentional to be coincidence. Fia first refers to an “exalted noble.” Later, she refers to Godwyn’s half of the curse mark as “the stolen hallowbrand of the exalted noble,” then goes on to refer to “Godwyn the Exalted” within a few sentences. Godwyn is the Exalted Noble, the Exalted Noble is Godwyn.

Slightly less airtight, but still strongly implied.

Fortissax and Godwyn were an item. This is already pretty widely accepted fanon, but I’ll lay out the evidence anyway.

Basically any time Fortissax is mentioned, it is in the context of their close bond with Godwyn. On it’s own, this wouldn’t mean much -- strong platonic bonds are a thing.

But we also established that Godwyn’s descendants are also descended from dragons. Out of the four named ancient dragons (the game never gives any indication that feral dragons can take human form), Fortissax is the most likely candidate.

Gransax is dead by the time the war against the dragons is over.

Placidusax is in (self-imposed?) exile in Farum Azula.

Lansseax is a possibility, but we know from the description of Vyke’s dragon bolt that “Of all the knights, Vyke the Dragonspear was the one Lansseax loved the most.” This does not entirely rule out the possibility of a political marriage between Lansseax and Godwyn, but it’s worth noting.

Although it’s not airtight, Fortissax being Godwyn’s consort makes the most sense. When you take their close bond and Godrick’s dragon heritage together, the game does seem to be implying a union between the two.

Lichdragon Fortissax is a shade.

We have plenty of in-game precedence for echoes of a person remaining behind to fight while the individual in question goes on to do other things. See Royal Knight Loretta in Caria Manor, Festering Fingerprint Vyke in the Church of Inhibition, and Godfrey’s Golden Shade in Leyndell.

We never see Fortissax manifest in the physical world, only ever showing up in the mindscape (Fia’s mindscape? Godwyn’s? Fortissax’s?) where we fight him.

Think about the sequence of events here. Fia is sleeping beside Godwyn. We touch her, which takes us directly to the Lichdragon’s boss arena. We kill Fortissax, and exit the dream to find that Fia has brought forth the Mending Rune of the Death Prince.

The slightly shaky but still supported stuff.

Fia is the human form of Fortissax -- this is the big one.

We encounter Lichdragon Fortissax in what is seems to be either Fia’s mindscape or a shared dream between Godwyn and Fia.

If we accept the premise that Fortissax is Godwyn’s consort, it is worth noting that Fia also seems to have prior history with Godwyn.

Fia clearly considers herself Godwyn’s consort. Consider the lines: “For I am the companion of Godwyn, Prince of Death. I wished to be a mother to Those Who Live in Death.” And, “I will soon lay with Godwyn. To conceive my child, the rune.”

Fia also refers to herself as the mother of those who live in death. This would align with her being the consort of Godwyn, the progenitor of those who live in death.

Pretty clear-cut. Of course it’s possible that Fia is delusional and pursuing the fantasy equivalent of a para-social relationship, but I tend to doubt that due to this line, spoken if you try to kill Fia: “Godwyn... Is that you, dear?”

I don’t care how delusional you are, you don’t cry for your celebrity crush in your dying moments. She knew him before the Night of the Black Knives.

Fia’s “I was awakened by the guidance of grace, and chased from my birthplace” line actually fits with what little we know of Fortissax.

From the descriptions of the Aspects of the Crucible incantations, we know that the Crucible was the primordial form of the Erdtree. This supports the theory that the Erdtree is simply the latest iteration of the World Tree, which goes through different phases with each new age.

Dragonlord Placidusax was the god of the age preceding Marika. “The Dragonlord whose seat lies at the heart of the storm beyond time is said to have been Elden Lord in the age before the Erdtree.”

It seems logical that the ancient dragons would have their capitol/home base around their version of the world tree, just as the demigods do in the current age. Fortissax likely would have been born in the area that would later become the city of Leyndell.

Nothing in Fia’s lore contradicts Fortissax’s lore. Fortissax was probably Godwyn’s consort. Fia is Godwyn’s consort. We fight Fortissax in Fia’s mindscape. Definitely not an airtight case, but if you put it all together I think it logically follows.

The “moving into headcanon territory” stuff.

Fia was in Stormveil at some point.

The sorcery Rancorcall is found in the basement of Stormveil. This sorcery is notably used by Sir Lionel, Fia’s adoptive father.

If all of the above is true, this makes a ton of sense. After being driven from Leyndell, Fia fled to the castle of her son/grandson/distant descendant Godrick.

This also explains the Godwyn face in the basement. What little remained of Godwyn sensed that his wife was in Stormveil and attempted to quite literally grow closer to her.

Fia probably has Godwyn’s Great Rune.

Certain people were allowed to possess Great Runes prior to the Shattering. Rennala received the Rune of the Unborn from Radagon before he returned to Marika. Morgott used his Rune to authenticate his identity as a descendent of Godfrey (see Morgott’s Great Rune description), implying that he had it with him throughout his exile in the Shunning Grounds. It is plausible that Godwyn was also permitted to carry a Great Rune prior to the Night of the Black Knives.

Based on the image we see of the NBK during the opening cinematic, it does not appear that Godwyn put up much of a fight. We don’t see a weapon, dead Black Knife Assassins, or signs of a struggle. The staging looks more like an execution than a battle. Most likely, Godwyn was dragged out of bed and repeatedly shanked in the back before he had time to react.

We know that Tiche died covering the group’s retreat, confirming that the Black Knives did not make a clean getaway. Someone must have raised the alarm. It is highly unlikely that they hung around long enough to loot Godwyn’s Great Rune (if he had one).

Putting all of that together, if Fia/Fortissax was Godwyn’s consort, she was probably present during the assassination. She probably held him as he bled out, allowing his Great Rune to pass into her possession. Could Godwyn’s Great Rune plus the Curse Mark create the Mending Rune of the Death Prince?

The shade Fia left behind takes the form of Lichdragon Fortissax because Fortissax could have saved Godwyn from the assassins.

While Fortissax was by all accounts quite formidable, Fia appears to be much less martially inclined. We never see her physically fight in-game. She uses Death Blight to kill D and uses a death sorcery (I think it’s Rancorcall?) as a last-ditch defense if you attack her after killing her champions, but she would not have had access to either of these prior to the NBK.

If she witnessed Godwyn’s murder, she would certainly be tormented by the knowledge that she could have saved him had she been in her draconic form. I propose that this is the origin of Lichdragon Fortissax -- it is the manifestation of Fia’s guilt for her inability to save Godwyn from death, now fighting to save him from a fate worse than death.

Putting it all together...

At some point following the war against the dragons, Fortissax wishes to settle down and start a family with Godwyn. To that end, the dragon takes the form of a human woman and takes the name Fia.

On the Night of the Black Knives, Fia witnesses Godwyn’s murder. She is with him in his final moments, allowing her to see that he isn’t quite as dead as he should be. Despite her objections, the powers-that-be of Leyndell insist that he is definitely 100% dead and lay him in state in preparation for an Erdtree burial.

Unwilling to accept Godwyn’s death and desperate to save him, Fia starts looking into death sorcery (probably under the priests of the Deathbirds -- see Death Ritual Spear description). She discovers a method that might allow her to resurrect him -- the rites of the Deathbed Companions.

Fia does her hug/life-drain thing with a number of champions, most likely members of the Dragon Cult. She then attempts to lie with Godwyn in order to complete the ritual. In an incredible display of poor timing, Marika chooses that precise moment to send out the call to the Tarnished.

Fia sees the guidance of Grace, she is caught with Godwyn’s body, and she is subsequently run out of Leyndell. Godwyn is buried at the foot of the Erdtree. Consciously or unconsciously, Fia leaves behind the Lichdragon shade in a last-ditch attempt to save Godwyn. For a time, she wanders the Lands Between alone, likely not doing very well in terms of sanity.

Eventually she encounters Sir Lionel who, being a decent guy, appoints himself her protector and offers to escort her to wherever she’s going. With his aid, she makes her way to Stormveil, where she convalesces for a time.

She eventually moves on to the Roundtable Hold, likely seeking access to more champions. Fia waits there, gathering life-energy and biding her time, until D arrives with his stolen half of the Curse Mark, at which point she enlists the aid of a helpful Tarnished to set her plan into motion.

So that's the Fia/Fortissax theory. What do you guys think?

Edit 1: I have been informed that Fia's defensive spell is actually Fia's Mist, not Rancorcall. My bad.

Edit 2: Showed this to my brother, and he had an interesting addition. What if Lichdragon Fortissax isn't just a shade, it's all the parts of Fia's psyche that make up Fortissax? Under this theory, she completely severs herself from her old life and gives up the ability to ever become a dragon again in an attempt to save Godwyn. Don't really have any evidence for it, but it's a cool interpretation.

Edit 3: Just a fun little coincidence. On one of the sword monuments, Forti is referred to by the title "Dread Fortissax." During the early stages of her assimilation into the Greek Pantheon, the queen of the underworld was often given the title "Dread Persephone." Probably doesn't mean anything, but I think it's neat.

#elden ring #elden ring theory #lichdragon fortissax #fia the deathbed companion #godwyn the golden

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elysian-yukio · 3 months

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Strawberry Tarts and Other Love Languages <3

This is inspired by Strawberry Tarts by the wonderful @the-nameless-ramekin !! I can't recommend this fic enough (seriously I'm insane about it. Clearly.)

Rambling & such under the cut :3

When I say I'm INSANE about this fic, I mean it so entirely. I leave like. Thesis-length comments on every chapter, to the point that other readers have lowkey called me out in their comments (I was thrilled to notice this btw, it made my day lol).

I've been meaning to make art for it for SO LONG but I just never got around to it. When I DID have the chance my carpal tunnel was really bad and I didn't want to risk making it worse.

Technically I. Still didn't have time for this. But by God I MADE THE TIME. Every single chapter (especially the treyrid and silbek ones 🤞) drives me crazy in the best way possible.

This is genuinely one of the most beautifully written, silly, funny fics I've ever read. And I've been reading fics since I was like ? 8 ?? Point is I've read A LOT. And this is EASILY in the top 3 best fics I've read.

This piece was also a huge life saver- 2024 has been off to a rough start so far but Strawberry Tarts, and working on this when I was stressed over the last week, has been super great for de-stressing and keeping my head about me.

I'm not going to go TOO crazy about it here (to save a bit of face for myself LMAO), but genuinely. Go read it. PLEASE. I can't recommend it enough.

I also have a playlist for it right here ! I think it captures the vibe pretty well, so if you feel so inclined, take a little look-see <3

P.s. hi rame :3 I hope this further proves that I'm your #1 fan fr 🤞 like it was ever in doubt lmao

#disney twst #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #twst #twst fanart #fic fanart #twst trey #trey clover #treyrid #strawberry tarts and other love languages #yes i AM tagging the full fic name because i alr have. several other pieces either in the works or #bouncing around my little noggin #so many Ideas for this fic #disney #twisted wonderland #digital art

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kitsmits · 10 months

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Nobody asked, but here are my rambling thoughts about Bleach’s Aizen Sousuke

Aizen Sousuke. The man, the myth, the legend. The villain who ~allegedly~ planned out so much of Bleach’s storyline that the fact that that is a meme is, in itself, a meme. And also probably part of Aizen’s plan.

I’m fascinated by this character, to say the least. I mean, why else would I be writing an Aizen/OC fanfiction on both AO3 and FF.net? (Shameless plug. Sorry not sorry.) Despite my many thoughts - so numerous are they that anytime I reply to a comment on “Mono no Aware,” I wind up with a graduate dissertation - I’m not entirely sure where to start with this guy. He’s complex in some ways, yet simple in others, fitting neatly into some psychological molds until you come across that one trait or act that makes you question your whole thesis. Fitting, really.

I don’t think there is one definitive, absolute answer for who Aizen Sousuke is. Even Kubo’s own idea of him isn’t necessarily the only one - once an artist puts their creation out into the world, that creation is open to interpretation by others. Again, rather fitting that we’re talking about a character whose entire power is based on the ideas of suggestion and perception.

It’s fun to explore various facets and ways to interpret a character though, so today I’d like to look at a few: psychology (Aizen the Sociopath), mythology (Aizen the Trickster), reality(I guess…) (Aizen the Opportunist), and philosophy (Aizen the Ubermensch).

So let’s start with psychology.

Aizen the Sociopath

Antisocial personality disorder, commonly/colloquially referred as “sociopathy,” is defined as “a mental health condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others.” (Mayo Clinic) For the sake of simplicity, I will be using the terms “sociopathy” and “sociopath” here. It’s one of four cluster-B personality disorders within the DSM-V (Diagnositc and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders, 5th Edition - the most recent one as of 2023), along with narcissistic, borderline, and histrionic personality disorders. In other words, it is clinically recognized as a mental health condition by the psychology field, and it’s one of a family of personality disorders characterized as having “a consistently dysfunctional pattern of dramatic, overly emotional thinking or unpredictable behavior.” (Considering who we’re talking about…this is kind of surprising, honestly.

To paraphrase the Mayo Clinic’s list of symptoms, sociopaths…

ignore (or have little/no concept of) right and wrong

often lie, steal, use false names, and/or engage in cons

use charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain

have an inflated sense of superiority and are extremely opinionated

often violate others’ rights and feel little/no remorse for how their behavior negatively affects others

Keep in mind that for a person to be considered a “sociopath,” one must consistently and repeatedly show these traits. Not every mean person is a sociopath, and not all sociopaths are mean (…all the time). Probably the most consistent descriptors I’ve come across for sociopaths are “manipulative” and “callous” - again, they’ll say/do anything to get what they want, and they have no remorse over whether it harms other people.

So…is Aizen a sociopath? And why should we care?

Setting aside the fact that Aizen is a fictional character, and fictional characters are often meant to be simpler than complex, ever-evolving human beings…I’m of the camp that yes, he is. It certainly explains a LOT of his behavior and actions; even the fact that he seems to have no “true” personality fits this mold. Partly because of how Kubo writes him, we can never be certain that anything Aizen says or does is “genuine,” or if he’s just trolling.

Why we should care if he’s a sociopath or not: Eh. Aside from the fun of armchair-diagnosing fictional characters, this gives us a framework within which to work. It gives us consistent traits that help us understand Aizen as a character. It’s sort of like a character sheet or profile: an easily referenced list of traits and tendencies.

However, even if we could truly diagnose Aizen with something, I don’t think that diagnosis would completely define his character. Far from it. Because this is fiction, every major character usually serves a particular purpose for the narrative that influences how they act and how they affect the characters around them. So let’s look at what I believe Aizen’s role is in the Bleach ‘verse.

Aizen the Trickster

A “trickster,” in terms of mythology and folklore, is “a character in a story…who exhibits a great degree of intellect or secret knowledge and uses it to play tricks or otherwise disobey normal rules and defy conventional behavior.” (Thank you, Wikipedia.) Classic examples of tricksters are Loki from Norse mythology; Anansi the spider from West African folklore; and Coyote from many Native American cultures, particularly groups in California and the Great Basin. Even Greek mythology’s Hermes and, at times, Norse mythology’s Odin act as tricksters, using their intellect to deceive others or defy conventions. Tricksters can be villainess or heroic, depending on the tale and their role in it. Consider Odysseus in the Illiad and Odyssey: in both tales (but especially in the latter), he is cast as a hero, but most of his actions are devious and even reprehensible.

I see Aizen as being a trickster in the Bleach ‘verse in many ways:

He’s highly intelligent and possesses “secret knowledge” (ie: truth of the Soul King…but more on that in a bit)

He seeks to defy convention and push all types of boundaries, from combining/transcending Shinigami and Hollow powers (physical boundaries) to being a Shinigami who commands Hollows (societal boundaries)

He openly questions, disrupts, and mocks authority (Even when he was playing the Nice Captain, he was one of the only people to openly question Rukia’s execution…granted, it was All Part of the Plan(TM), but I still find it interesting that he allowed that to be a part of his character at that time)

He enjoys trolling people and making them question their own beliefs and perceptions. Not even just because it’ll benefit him; I think he honestly enjoys throwing people mentally off-balance.

I mean…he openly says it during the TYBW:

Sure, you might say that Aizen’s goal was to kill the Soul King (…I have thoughts about that too), but THIS is the reason for that goal. If it wasn’t the Soul King, it would be whatever other being tried to reign over him. Yhwach, Ichibe, whoever else…Aizen would not tolerate anyone having authority over him. This fits with the Trickster archetype because, at their cores, this is what tricksters do: they challenge authority.

It’s also worth noting that in most Trickster stories, especially ones where the trickster plays the antagonist, the trickster doesn’t exactly “win.” Often, they’re foiled or humiliated in some way, sometimes due to their own hubris; I mean, Loki wound up being tied up with a snake dripping poison into his eyes because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut about having orchestrated the death of one of Odin’s sons. This is also something we see in Aizen’s role in Bleach: At the pinnacle of his power, he is defeated - not only by the hero of the story, but also by another possible “trickster” type (Urahara) and by his own arrogance and, possibly, not knowing his own deepest desires.

Btw - for an interesting take on Aizen “not knowing himself,” check out this video by Nux Taku: Anime’s Most Relatable Overpowered Sociopath - Aizen from Bleach

“Defeated” doesn’t necessarily mean he didn’t win, though. In my opinion, Aizen is, above all, a master opportunist who will turn ANY situation in his favor.

“All according to keikaku:” Aizen the Opportunist

Aizen definitely fits a classic “mastermind” mold, no arguments here. But I think people take the meme-worthy “it was all part of my plan” thing a little too far with him. Aside from the tendency of sociopaths and tricksters alike toward self-aggrandizing, and the fact that it benefits Aizen to be perceived as omniscient, let’s be real: He didn’t plan everything out himself from the start. To be honest, the idea that a “mastermind” necessarily sees all possibilities 100 steps ahead is…a bit much. Rather, masterminds like Aizen who play the long game are excellent opportunists.

Just look at how Aizen acts during “Everything But the Rain”: As far as Tousen was concerned, the Hollow “White” was a failure because instead of going after the powerful Shinigami captain, it attacked a Quincy - the one creature in the area that couldn’t be Hollowfied. But to Aizen, this wasn’t a failure: it was an unforeseen turn of events that presented an unprecedented opportunity to study the congruence of two diametrically opposed beings. After all, his whole schtick is about transcending the boundaries between species; of course he’d be curious to see if there was a way for a Quincy and a Hollow to mix without destroying each other. Plus, I’m willing to bet that Aizen at least suspected that this phenomenon might draw Urahara out of hiding, which would give Aizen his location (and thus the location of the other Hogyoku). The fact that Masaki survives with White’s Hollow energy inside of her, AND that she, a Quincy, and Isshin, a Shinigami, fall in love and have a kid…that’s all a bonus that he later works into his plans.

TL;DR: Aizen had plans for White, but when those plans fell through, he turned the situation into a new part of his plan. It all worked toward his ultimate goals in the end. THAT is what makes him such a formidable mastermind: he’ll take any opportunity that comes his way.

Aizen the Übermensch

Okay, I’ll admit I’m gonna be a little lazy here and point y’all to a wonderful analysis video by DBZimran that goes into this topic. The gist is that Aizen embodies the Nietzsche idea of the “Ubermensch,” or “super man” (from before the N*zis appropriated the concept), and that Urahara is the opposing “last man.” It’s really interesting stuff, and DBZimran explains it way better than I feel equipped to right now.

Sosuke Aizen: THE FALSE GOD | BLEACH: Character Analysis

While you’re there, check out his other videos about Bleach. I took a lot of inspiration from his analysis of the Hogyoku when writing Mono no Aware, to be honest.

Other interesting takes on Aizen

I can’t get enough of this man, and if you’ve made it this far in this ridiculous long post, I’m guessing you can’t, either. I’m definitely open to writing more about him, answering prompts, giving headcanons…just ask! Here are some other people I like to reference for Aizen and Bleach content in general:

Youtube:

MrTommo2304

DBZimran

This wonderful hellsite, aka Tumblr (not a definitive list - I’m sure I’ll forget peeps):

@bleachbleachbleach - I LOVE THEIR WORLDBUILDING HEADCANONS OMG

@my-my-my - large variety of headcanons and imagines, from worldbuilding/story analysis to romantic/shmexy stuff

@brittscafe - fun, shmexy headcanons with an excellent grasp on the characters

@recurring-polynya - writer who also has lots of interesting and fun headcanons about the Bleach world; also their page is just really pretty

@brainbleached - silly totally-real-not-at-all-made-up incorrect quotes and such

#bleach #bleach headcanons #aizen sousuke #aizen #sosuke aizen #aizen sosuke #sousuke aizen #that man has too many name spellings #aizen headcanon

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