#a long wish to be elsewhere

[olreid]

[ID: Brennan as The Beast saying, "Everyone you ever knew who told you that they would keep you safe as long as you behaved were already hurting you. end ID]

ok fine.

#if he would stop catering to me while im annoyed with him i WOULD appreciate it #neverafter #a long wish to be elsewhere

[archietransdrews]

the hiram/hermione/veronica/archie stuff is so wild.. like literally how are we supposed to take this if not as textual confirmation that hermione sees herself as having to compete with ronnie for hiram's affections and furthermore that she sees archie as a threat to them both simply because he's not a woman? the princess can never be let into the throne room but archie gets invited there on first meeting for a chat with hiram "man to man"... the simple fact of his gender grants him easy access to a level of intimacy with hiram that hermione has been trying to claw back to no avail for months.

at the beginning of the episode you think she's warning ronnie and archie off for their own safety when she tells them to steer clear of hiram and in this moment it's revealed that she's actually been acting in her own self-interest in an attempt to neutralize a perceived threat to her relationship with hiram. she's beefing with sixteen year olds. her ops are children

#did not care at all about hermione until this moment. she better work #a long wish to be elsewhere

[finalgirlfall]

Colonialism may be best described as the formal political domination of one country by another in which the relationship between the two nations is always one of economic exploitation, although the dominant nation may pretend otherwise.

— Jerry Kloby, "The Legacy of Colonialism," in Beyond Borders: Thinking Critically about Global Issues, ed. Paula S. Rothenberg (New York, NY: Worth Publishers, 2006), 99–106.

#* #literature #college #jerry kloby #paula s. rothenberg #a long wish to be elsewhere

[magistralucis]

actually the way to solve all of The Twice-Dead King's problems was for Zultanekh and Djoseras to steal Oltyx out of Sedh, then for the two hothead princes to spearhead an operation to oust Unnas and Hemiun, so that Djoseras wouldn't have to violate his own personal code and die. Zultanekh and Djoseras should then have gotten married, and elevated Oltyx as co-ruler (because he has the most progressive ideas), so they could all serve as one extremely happy triumvirate. This plan involves Djoseras being normal and a lot of wishful thinking and telling Anathrosis of the Black Star to go fuck herself, which is not something I'm sure anyone is capable of doing, but imagine

#warhammer 40k #the twice dead king #necrons #oltyx #zultanekh #djoseras #anathrosis of the black star #shitpost #in my heart this is what happened and it is hekatic truth ;_; #after a while djoseras and zultanekh could have retired elsewhere and given full reign to oltyx or something #it sounds like this was djoseras's ideal plan for his future anyway. he did claim to wish to make things right and make his brother king #after that yenekh could be his consort and everyone would be happy 😭💖 #weddings WERE a standard way to enforce peace and come to political agreements for a long time in history... #canon necrons have tried almost all other ways of political neutralization other than this... please try it i am weeping................

[flecks-of-stardust]

i've just made a cohost account under the same username here if anyone's interested in keeping in contact and trading usernames

#i'm very grateful now that i started the IWSY website months ago when the funding scare happened #i would not have enjoyed having to start that process Now #it's late and i should think this over more but. this is the last straw for me #i'm jumping ship. almost definitely #i'll still be around probably but i'll be trying to use tumblr less beyond keeping up with news on some things #and interacting with some people who i don't have contact with elsewhere #tumblr staff have been shit for a long time and in some ways i wish something else was the last straw for me #but this is it

[girlthingdecay]

.

#i kind of want to kill myself. im so disconnected from anything. i have no original thought. everything is scripted #everything is just put together pieces from things ive heard elsewhere and i do not have a single original thought #everyone can see that im masks all the way down and everyone can see that i am nothing underneath and even that is a stolen way of saying it #i have no way of making nothing palatable but i am simply nothing. invite me over and ill try to adapt to you and write a new script based #off new media but if you make me truly comfortable and somehow manage to unplug my behavior then youll be rewarded with me just sitting #beside you on the floor and staring at whatever media you show me without speaking much and only occasionally seeking further warmth from #you #i vocalized it to someone close recently but im a nothing void and i wish people all acted in exactly the way i wanted regardless #i have selfish fantasies about people just doing everything to make everything easy for me and if i were a god i would be an entirely #selfish one #if the right people would go and stay as i please even though im a nothing void and dont deserve them around #if they would all do whatever i needed like gave me cuddles or sex or affirmation or money or treats #if life was one long cycle of being the most treated god by everyone then maybe i could be something i dont know #maybe something could be manifested into me #everyone already projects an idea onto me so maybe a collective idea held by all with a great deal of love would make whatever they say of #me true and maybe then id exist fully #until then oh well #though in reality im just sanitizing a bit. having others fully as puppets serving me isnt something that i want because i think itll “fix” #me by any measures and id likely only grow far more sadistic and selfish but i wish for that world because i could live in perfect comfort #i could do anything i wanted and have anything i wanted and nobody would stop me #sorry this is just like. a long rambling in tags. i should shut up now

[bandzboy]

i honestly wish graphic designers in wtv fandom they are in were more appreciated and didn't feel like they had to migrate somewhere else to have their graphics appreciated

#i have been genuinely thinking about doing something for #the last remaining gfx makers in here #just so we can have a system where we support each other #bc as someone who also posts here and in other platforms #it's sad how they are appreciated in here in comparison to other platforms #i don't really notice that change myself bc i am starting to expand #my creations elsewhere so it's very early to say but #i've seen so many gfx makers that said they had to go somewhere #and felt better sharing their gfx there more than on tumblr and i hate that #i wish there was a way to change this but i am just one person #i honestly appreciate any gfx i don't even care about who they are abt #i just wanna appreciate people's work bc i know first hand how long #it takes to make that singular poster or post it's not easy work #tris.txt

[pepprs]

also the favoritism thing is still making me so fucking mad and insane btw. im not jealous / resentful of my brother bc he deserves her love and is also burdened in his own ways by it and bc i think my drama w my mom has shaped my life in profound ways and given me friends i cherish and i would never trade any of that for the world but jesus fucking christ. why do i have to beg you to interact with me like a mother. why do i have to talk to me at all beyond asking me to do you 847439473 favors a day. why do i have to beg you to take an interest in my life and apologize when you hurt me and be nurturing and perceptive for once in your fucking life. like it hurts to hear her asking him about his classes and whatever bc she didn’t think i was stressed out w school but i had to talk to a ****** hotline last decemver when i couldn’t take it anymore and my mental health was crashing and burning and it doesn’t even fucking matter to her at all and she’s going to get him the nice gifts and throw him the nice parties and whatever because she hates me and my sister for… and let me get this straight… being complicated and anxious and depressed and also girls. lol!

#purrs #delete later #sorry i knowive been insane about momposting but this shit has me screeching like an ape. the way when my brother was born she decided me #and my sister would be okay with each other bc we were twins and meanwhile she was leaving my sister to have anxiety attacks and me to take #care of her and all of this happening at like 7 years old and she would come into my brothers room every single night and kiss him goodnight #and talk to him for a long time and she wouldn’t even come in and say goodnight to us. LOL. ok. like our room being a depression nest is not #an excuse. us not helping out much in the kitchen or around the house (which is bad but also we have reasons for it that i think are valid #and i only do it here and not elsewhere btw.) is not a good excuse. you can’t decide you love your one kid more because he helps out and #keeps his room clean and whatever. maybe he is normal because you made it very clear from the time that he was born that he was your top #priority and you gave him your attention and didn’t take it away meanwhile my sister and i have always had to share bc we’re twins and she #cast us aside when he was born and has fucking tormented both of us for years over who we like what we want where we go all of that shit and #then has the AUDACITY to call herself a good mother. being a good mother is more than feeding your kid and projecting your childhood trauma #onto them by preventing them from ever developing cancer to the point where they’re afraid fo like. go outside. you have to be patient and #nurturing and kind and like.. motherly. ans i know no one can be a perfect mother and she has been hurt so badly and she is dealing with a l #lot right now but COME ON. for gods SAKE. i am right fucking here. why don’t you care about me? why do you make it clearer every day? #ask to tag #like the way she would say when my sister and i were growing up and going through it that she wished she could book a hotel and live there f #far away from us and miss out on us growing up so she wouldn’t have to deal with us being anxious and hormonal because we were teenage girls #LOL. totally did not impact me at all. totally is not a wound that informs every breath i take and every thought i have. not at all #* like maybe he is normal because you uh… idk. just a guess here. actually gave him the motherlove people need to be functioning healthy #human beings? idk. just a silly thought. haha

[girlsjustwannadrawwhump]

I’m working rlly hard on a drawing for a whump art swap event in a server but I can’t upload it here till the swap date cause I can’t risk my match seeing it but I’m also not sure I can even upload it here when it’s done cause there’s pretty much not a part of it that’s sfw :’)

#disclaimer: they know and they like n$fw #i wouldnt just do that out of nowhere lol #/Oh we got matched for an art swap? heres your character getting railed :)/ #anyway even with the /zoom in on a part and upload the full picture elsewhere/ #that ive used before #i pretty much only have characters A's eyes thats sfw enough lol #my mans wearing a ballgag so #I just wish id have an easier time uploading n$fw stuff on tumblr #but no hecking way im risking losing my account again #s talks #N$fw #anyway in case youre wondering what ive been upto #still whump stuff #holy shit these tags long

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

Soooo I guess I have a date for Wednesday evening now? That happened a lot faster than I expected.

Feeling weird. Nervous. Apprehensive. Lots of other emotions that are harder to nail down. The idea of it going well is almost scarier than it being a bust.

#it's also dumb because it feels like cheating even though d has made it crystal clear that he's done with me #this is why i was so vigilant about not catching feeling for so long #because when i let myself get invested in someone then it's so hard to disentangle myself and my feelings later #and even with us still talking and 'just being friendly' I feel weird about the idea of telling him that I'm looking elsewhere #because a little stupid part of me still wishes he'd come back to me and want me again #and if i move on what if I'm closing that door completely #i really liked that door #fuck man i hate having needs and emotions it's bullshit #also as a disclaimer i am fully aware of the bad news of the wider world right now #but keeping myself isolated and bottling up my feelings about personal trials because there are bad things happening elsewhere won't help #dating nonsense

[perfaede]

misc thoughts about klaus & leah

How Klaus feels about Leah is complex but at the same time probably one of his most simple sibling bonds. She left in the midst of chaos and she has continued to evade him better than anyone else ever could. Majority of it is her being able to get away before he can get to her but part of it is him not really being certain he wants to get to her. It differs greatly from his relationships with his other sisters and for once, it is mostly due to the other person rather than him.

He played a very large part in why she wanted to leave, but ultimately, the strain on their relationship is due to her constantly running. It isn’t as if they never see each other throughout the centuries, but he always lets her get away in one way or the other. 

(While she’s capable of getting away, if he truly tried to stop her, he could very much so overpower her).

A huge difference in how she was able to leave and Rebekah almost never is, happens to be when she left. It was in the midst of Mikael possibly descending upon them and Kol was causing trouble, which left Leah as a blind spot, and he was so preoccupied with everything else that his anger with her was left churning for a while.

The thing about Leah is that for a very, very, very long time, her greatest sin against Klaus was that she left. The others (bar Finn), over time, did other things that left him angry, but his anger was Leah was stagnant almost. 

One huge thing, though, is that he has always been afraid she would run into Mikael. Not because he’d kill her, but because he’d tell her the truth about Esther, and for a while, that keeps him from wanting her to come back, honestly.

He hates her for leaving. He’s glad she stayed away. She’s scared of him. She’s scared for him. They’re sort of strangers, sort of siblings. 

#* ⁖ — ⁀➴ WHAT A STUPID QUESTION. I WAS BORN KNOWING YOU. ( KLAUS & LEAH. ) #* ⁖ — ⁀➴ I REMEMBER MY CHILDHOOD AS A LONG WISH TO BE ELSEWHERE. ( SHE‚ THE SHADOW. ) #i have thoughts about them

[olreid]

what rules about claudia being a child vampire is like. the whole 'family' dynamic is based on denying claudia because she's 'the baby' except that the being a vampire of it all completely voids all the usual excuses that are trotted out to justify the typical (mis)treatment of children by their families... for example, children are expected to physically restrain themselves, ostensibly so they don't get hurt. yet the fragility associated with youth doesn't apply to claudia, and both louis and lestat tell her not to run in the house anyway; the rule is revealed as being grounded not in child safety but in the comfort and preferences of adults.

everything that might be said about claudia's physical weakness or vulnerability is annulled by her vampirism; everything that might be said about her being lesser because she is a fledgling is pretty much equally true of louis, who for the decade of experience he has on her seems to have very little vampire knowledge to show for it. and she owes louis and lestat no kin-based loyalty or deference because for all they say they are her parents, they did not birth or raise her and she did not ask to be turned! she is a "child" but without any of the associated conditions which usually conspire to fix children in their traditional roles; and once the excuse provided by those traits is gone, all that remains is the desire for control and the willingness to enforce that control with violence.

all the perfect hypocrisy of parenthood is on display; lestat admonishing claudia for unsubtle killings when he famously loves to do like. murder-based performance art, both louis and lestat refusing claudia a mate of her own despite neither of them being able to come up with a good reason for denying her other than 'because i said so.' and for all that claudia's behavior is framed by both louis and lestat as her 'acting out' for one reason or another, they never manage to come up with even one convincing explanation as to why she should not be allowed to do exactly as she pleases. who are they, after all, to tell her what to do?

#the only thing claudia gets out of being made to be the baby is the gift of being underestimated. but thats a different post #and of course claudia recognizes & gives voice to the arbitrary nature of her subjugation in calling lestat the master to her slave #also its own post. anyway #iwtv #a long wish to be elsewhere

[archietransdrews]

archie's rapid s2 descent into outright vigilantism is kind of a meme at this point but i do think it bears repeating that at bottom his frantic urgency stems directly from the fact that he knows the cops and the mayor aren't going to do anything meaningful to stop the violence. it is this utter lack of faith in adult institutions, which comes directly off the back of the mishandled investigation and exposed corruption of s1, that makes him feel the need to take matters into his own hands. in a lot of ways, archie's night watch is the flip side of the coin that is betty and jughead's teen detective squad; woefully misguided though his efforts are, they come from an accurate assessment of the political landscape in riverdale, shared by many of the town's teens, which leads them to conclude rightly that the town's adults will not keep them safe and are in fact likely implicated in what's going on.

#a long wish to be elsewhere

[finalgirlfall]

Peter Pan's status is not, therefore, that of a children's book, but rather that of a concept or class—the whole category of children’s literature out of which all these other stories are produced. A convenient way of sidestepping everything which constitutes the fundamental illegibility of Peter Pan.

— The Case of Peter Pan: Or the Impossibility of Children's Fiction, Jacqueline Rose

#* #literature #criticism #jacqueline rose #a long wish to be elsewhere #rehearsal notes

[mxdotpng]

the zestiria anime fixes and also messes up many things at the exact same time its actually kind of impressive i have to salute them for it

#.text #zestiria #i mentioned this elsewhere but i really really loved sorey and mikleos argument in the game. #like i love it so much. #mikleo is angry because sorey wont let him fight for the sake of protecting sorey - and. to be honest. himself. he is much less #in danger of succumbing to malevolence as a sublord - and sorey is angry that mikleo doesnt understand that he doesnt want #him to be put into danger especially for the sake of. Sorey. of all people. he wants mikleo to be safe. much like how #mikleo wants sorey to be safe #and i wish mikleo had been more fussy abt sorey being so. like. 'willing' isnt extreme enough of a word really. #but how he was so willing to make alisha his squire at the sake of his own health and his own life #whereas he outright refused mikleo wanting to be his sublord at every chance. because. well if i were mikleo thatd piss me off so. much #mikleo never blew his casket though even though he wouldve been in the right so u know maybe hes better than me #but i also do genuinely love how mikleo realizes hes lost. Without all of that. and it isnt entirely because of sorey either #i think mikleo does suffer a lot from. hilariously. having a character too ingrained into sorey. much like woman love interests go figure.. #so him realizing that his entire life has been with and For sorey and now that he has this destiny & they stand on diverging paths #mikleo doesnt know what his life is supposed to be or what kind of person hes supposed to become. is good. thats good. #and i like it a lot #but oh my god i MISS that argument it like. said so much about sorey and mikleos characters #it pretty much set the stage for soreys self sacrificial tendancies and how he has little regard for his own safety #and mikleos devotion and loyalty. as well as his fear of losing too early the one thing in his life he knows he wont have for long #does this make any sense im just saying words now #idk im still watching maybe itll happen in the next episode!! if it does then DISREGARD EVERYTHING IVE SAID #tho the anime DOES mess up a lot of things -- im not fond of the way the bersy section played out #it isnt bad that its different however some choices feel ... absurd ? to me #ok back to my hw bye!

[animationismycomfort]

wait okay i need to ask genuinely because I'm not understanding very well. i promise im trying not to be rude

but how are mspec/bi/pan lesbians valid/a thing?

Lesbian quite specifically means "woman who loves women", therefore, someone who loves men or someone who identifies as a man, couldn't be a lesbian? It feels like stealing the term from... lesbians, does it not?? "words are just words, gender is made up" but these terms, these words, they do hold meaning, don't they? They were made for a reason, after all. Lesbians feel a bit... pushed out when it comes to certain things sometimes, if that makes sense. I'm a lesbian myself and I sincerely feel like this label isn't "just a word" really and this invites male-aligned people into our space. We made these words so that we can describe ourselves, not even just lesbian, more words than that of course. Most, it not all identities, were named so that we could put words to our identity. for us thats women who love women. I'm not fully educated, and I'm open to it, and sorry for ranting but the term just does... bother me a little.

most of my friends, who also identify as lesbian, agree to this sentiment, and I do feel it's important to listen to wlw who say these things, we feel pushed out of our own space by people who could very well have their own space without taking a word we have always used to identify ourselves and mixing it to have a different meaning.

I’m not really good for this type of question as I myself do not fully understand(mostly because I am not of that minority specifically)but I get using labels that might be strange to others to explain yourself which is why I’m open and greatly love people who use them as well

you might wanna ask someone who does actual research and has a big understanding about it I could recommend some if you wish I know a bi lesbian blog that could help or you could search some up as well

sorry I can’t help but as someone who doesn’t have first hand experience I feel like I can’t really give a good one

but I think they’re valid because gender can be complicated and so can sexuality and I think if people truly feel that these labels fit them then so be it

I’ve noticed most people who use these terms are mostly people with more genders

or with different romantic and sexual attraction

or or they themselves are a system with multiple different people in there

or or or it can be for people with preferences as well

doesn’t mean they have to be of that to use em but it’s the most common

I personally think if you truly feel that you are this thing

then you are

gender and sexuality are all about feelings are they not?

and these terms were made to explain feelings and emotions we ourselves back in the day could not understand isn’t that true?

so….why not in my opinion

I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable but that might be an issue you yourself need to solve other then that I can’t give much else

also also how have y’all felt pushed out of your own space as far as I know mspec lesbians have their own?

as do male lesbians so how have you been pushed out of your own space?

I think you have some stuff to figure out but that you can do in your own time

though you again could find some help in the spaces and blogs I’ve talked about

either way I hope you find whatever your looking for

and I thank you for trying to understand and for being brave enough to ask even with your complicated and pretty strange views

#bit of a complicated ask with some complicated feelings #thanks for it nonetheless #and I wish I could help more but I’m not a professional on these things #also for the whole definition thing I think we used basic words to describe our complicated feelings as that’s all they were aloud but now #that we’re evolving we’re learning more ways to understand our complicated feelings #and one of those ways is finding out that though these definitions have a fit already they can also fit you #and I don’t think that’s a bad thing we as a society are changing everyday #words have meaning but these meanings and words were made up by people trying to understand themselves and though they have a basic #definition that is not all they are or made for #once you realize that everthing gets a bit easier to understand #also if I accidentally cherry picked your ask that was not my intention and im sorry if it felt like it was #I’m just trying my best with it seems a very long and serious issue of a problem for you #forgive me if I accidentally misunderstood anything #and if I offended you or said something personally innaporpraite please tell as I’m not good with telling when it comes to text #anyways have a good day or night wherever you are #and I hope you find some peace of mind and I hope you get the knowledge your seeking elsewhere #I hope no one gives me asks like this again #like not gonna fault people who wanna learn but I’m not that type of blog or person #mspec lesbian #mspec #boy lesbian #lesbian #question #asks #answered #not really #my stuffy stuff #if I offended anyone or got anything wrong please let me know #and feel free to educate me as well im always willing to learn #if this post hurts anyone I will gladly delete it