#a fucking cardigan or some shit so basically

[wigglebox]

Personal 🌌

#spnfanart #spn art #destiel #destiel fanart #wiggleart #yo it’s literally been three weeks since I’ve drawn them #like I’ve drawn them for my coloring pages and my pinefest but like #no color on those yet #and in the run up to my period I had a rogue wave of hyperfixation so I crocheted #a fucking cardigan or some shit so basically #this was refreshing and it felt like a return to normal lol

[mypoisonedvine]

can I request a dark!(any of cillian murphy’s characters) who’s basically this spoiled entitled rich guy and he meets a waitress who puts him in his place for disrespecting her? so he decides to teach her a lesson

THE WAY THIS IS PERFECT FOR DARK!ROBERT FISCHER??? OH MY GOD??

warnings: DARK NONCON SMUT!! 18+ only, misogyny and classism, pretty extreme degradation, semi-public sex, hair pulling

You weren't sure why that one interaction stuck in your head, it wasn't like you hadn't dealt with rude customers before: they're plentiful in a fancy place like this, only people wealthy enough to be used to getting whatever they wanted could afford to eat here.

Maybe it was just because you'd already noticed him from the first moment you came to the table, and not just because he looked a little out of place surrounded by the other businessmen... you thought he was gorgeous, obviously. Which made it even more disappointing when he was a huge tool, correcting your pronunciation of some of the menu items and then trying to summon you to the table with a few impatient snaps of his fingers. Not to mention calling you 'sweetheart' instead of your name-- classic sexist bullshit.

Or maybe you remembered him because of the rage when you stood up to him-- just for a second, you saw it in his eyes, before he let out a nervous and condescending laugh to try to break the tension. But even just that flash of anger in his stare made you regret speaking up. Normally, you didn't take shit from anyone and you didn't apologize for the feelings you hurt along the way... but that, his look right then, was everything people had been warning you about. It's one thing to stand up to someone, it's another to antagonize them.

It was enough to make you feel a little nervous when your shift ended that night. You'd watched the flock of stuffy suits leave after their meal, obviously not giving you a tip because of course they wouldn't, and yet you had this lingering feeling like you were being watched-- like you hadn't seen the last of that infuriated glare.

But, feeling like you were definitely overreacting, you resisted the urge to ask your manager to walk you to your car. It was late, of course, and you shivered a bit as the chilly night air made your thin cardigan feel pretty much useless.

Just as you unlocked your car, opening the backseat door to toss in your bag, you felt a hand cover your mouth as someone grabbed you. Your instinctive scream was muffled as you heard a harsh 'shh' by your ear, a heavy form pressing into yours.

You were pushed into the car, tossed roughly down over the backseats as the man's weight kept you pinned down, and you tried to struggle but found yourself quickly incapacitated by his strength.

"How fucking dare you," he spat right against your ear; and you recognized the voice, of course you did, it was burned into your mind already. "You rude little bitch..."

"Get off me," you growled, "you fucking asshole!"

"No, no," he purred, pinning your arms down when you tried to push him back, "not until you've learned your lesson. The way you spoke to me at dinner, I just can't let you get away with that."

"I-I'm sorry, okay?" you breathed, distressed by how easily he held your arms in place by his tight grip on your wrists; you felt him smile against your ear, a dark little chuckle making the hair on the back of your neck stand up. "I'm sorry-- I wasn't trying to be rude."

"Yes, you were, sweetheart," he disagreed, throwing the condescending name right at you again. "You were trying to, what, emasculate me? How's that working out for you?"

Honestly, you had been-- you always figured customers like that had it coming, and you'd relished in the chance to make him look like an idiot in front of presumably some very important people. "I'm sorry," you said again. "I was wrong. Please... please just get out and we can forget this ever happened."

You shuddered when his hand moved down to your skirt, rubbing your leg with a hum and slowly pushing up the fabric. "You were hoping for a big tip tonight, weren't you?" he chuckled. "I think I can still give you one."

"P-please," you choked out again, "Mr. Fischer, right? I'm sorry... just please don't--"

He covered your mouth again, grinning at you as he pulled the skirt up roughly and yanked your panties down, giving your ass a hard smack as you yelped behind the strong grip of his fingers. "Don't worry," he offered as he started to hastily open his fly with one hand, "I'm just going to remind you of your place. A whore like you will probably like it."

You shut your eyes tight, hearing him grunt as he adjusted himself to be right at your opening, teasing your hole with his head for just a moment before suddenly and forcefully shoving in. You screamed behind his hand, dropping your head defeatedly, and he groaned happily as he started to fuck you.

"That's it," he praised darkly, "just take it, honey."

Shuddering, you went limp under him, out of other options; you winced as his cock forced its way deep inside you, so deep that your back tried to arch up to avoid some of the intense pressure.

"Shh," he soothed, putting a hand on your back to keep it down, "that's better-- fuck, you little slut..."

He was speeding up already, and you still hadn't adjusted to his size. Clearly his shitty attitude wasn't compensating for anything, like you'd implied before-- and you choked on your moans of discomfort as he finally let go of your mouth. Only broken sighs came out, unfortunately, and in the corner of your eye you could see him staring down at you with a sneer.

"This is exactly what you deserve," he panted, "getting fucked like a cheap whore in this filthy car. I don't think I've ever been inside one of these things-- my god, is that a cassette player?! How old is this piece of shit?"

You groaned, amazed that he had the energy or focus to insult your car in a time like this-- you were just panting and holding tightly onto the beige fabric seats under you, hoping that someone, anyone, would see what was happening and stop him. God, if someone saw, they'd probably think this was a consensual thing, a kinky little public hookup-- but you couldn't just scream for help or something, you felt very confident that he would find a way to keep you silent.

He sighed as he buried his face in your neck, his hips moving faster-- needier, really. He was even moaning, squeezing your wrists again, acting oddly passionate as if this was something very different than what it was. "You could be pretty, you know," he mumbled to you, "if you smiled more-- and if you didn't do your makeup like a cheap whore. Well... I guess you can't help the cheap part."

"You could be pretty if you weren't a psychopath," you snapped back, making him chuckle proudly.

"Still got that fucking attitude," he noticed, "guess I haven't fucked it out of you yet. How about when you're dripping with my come? Then will you understand how you need to speak to your superiors?"

"Don't," you begged in a gasp, "please-- please don't--"

But he just growled and fucked you harder, making the whole car move with the force of his thrusts. "You fucking wanted me," he accused through his teeth, "didn't you? You wanted this. I could see it on your face, the second you looked at me-- you were imagining how well I'd wreck this little cunt."

You tried to shake your head, but he grabbed you by your hair and yanked your head back until you yelped out a sob.

"I'm close," he breathed, "gonna fucking fill you-- 'cause it's all your good for, sweetheart. Being a waitress isn't that fucking complicated, and you're still shit at that-- so how about you just embrace your natural talents, huh? How about you just take my fucking cock and say 'thank you'?"

"F-fuck you," you barely managed to rasp out, and he made sure to punish you for that by absolutely pounding into you for the last of it.

"Stupid fucking whore," he snarled between deep grunts, "f-fuck, you bitch--"

He moaned suddenly as he came, letting go of your hair and dropping you down onto the backseat again as he gave a few shallow, shaky thrusts; his grip was on your hips instead, keeping you still so he could go as deep as possible.

"Fuck," he sighed, panting to catch his breath; you blinked a haziness out of your eyes, hissing as he pulled out of you-- you were going to feel that sting tomorrow, if not longer.

He put his cock back in his trousers and zipped them up, getting out of the car and taking out his wallet.

"Here's a tip," he offered as he tossed a few bills at you, laughing as you widened your eyes at the realization that they were hundreds. "Start saving up for a new car. Or at least get this one cleaned... you're leaking my come all over the seats."

#dark!robert fischer x reader #robert fischer dark smut #WOW THIS IS WEIRD LMAO

[featherandferns]

Smut with prompt 1 if that’s alright <3

In retrospect, this is not what I had in mind when I said surprise me.

Um, I got REALLY carried away so basically have a short-fic???

feel free to request: prompt list

Happy Anniversary - prompt 1

JJ’s never had an anniversary before. The longest ‘relationship’ he’s been in, before you, lasted a whole two weeks in ninth grade. The farthest they went was holding hands, and that was only because their friends wouldn’t stop heckling for them to. So, when JJ casually asked you what you wanted to do for your one-year anniversary whilst the two of you were walking back from the beach, you shrugged and said possibly the worst answer you could’ve given him. “Surprise me.”

JJ isn’t heartless. He knows what girls like, inside the bedroom and outside. He knows how to woo someone. What to say to have them all mushy and blushing and stuff. Hell, it’d clearly worked with you. But was he romantic? Now that’s a different thing entirely.

It didn’t help that you were rather low maintenance. That you were more than content with date nights that involved surfing and smoking and sometimes a late-night walk. Staying and watching a movie, usually ending up with the film completely neglected and your clothes on the floor. Dinners and presents and all of that weren’t as much your style. You weren’t against them, per say, but as a broke cut-resident yourself, you didn’t care about all the finer things in life.

“Why don’t you buy her a necklace?” John B offers from the deckchair.

“She doesn’t really wear necklaces,” JJ replies from the hammock. “She just has this one chain with her mom’s wedding ring on it. Always wears it.”

“A book?” Pope says.

“Not much of a reader,” JJ returns.

“Why don’t you do something for her instead of buying her something, then?” Kiara tries.

JJ sits up at that, frowning at her. “What’d ya mean?”

“Well, she seems like the kinda girl who likes doing things.”

“Oh, definitely,” JJ replies with a growing smirk.

Kie rolls her eyes at the innuendo. “JJ, gross. I mean, she’s always surfing or crocheting or whatever.”

“I don’t know shit about crocheting,” JJ tells Kie. “She does like to cook though. Makes the best lemon sea bass ever.”

“Why don’t you cook for her then?” Sarah says.

John B and Pope burst into laughter. JJ glares at them, unamused.

“What?” she innocently asks.

“JJ’s level of cooking is a piece of toast,” John B says.

“And even that’s got a fifty-fifty chance of success,” Pope adds.

“Fuck you guys! I can cook! How hard can it be? You just follow a recipe and throw some shit in a pan and then boom,” JJ challenges. They stare up at him, amused and unconvinced. “I can cook!”

“What’s her favourite meal?” Kie asks.

“She likes Italian,” JJ thinks aloud. “Maybe spaghetti and meatballs or something?”

“You’re going to make spaghetti and meatballs? Something that requires three different things being done simultaneously?” Pope asks him, eyebrows raised so high they nearly teeter on greeting his hairline.

“Watch me, golden boy,” JJ grins self-assuredly.

The only form of reply the blonde boy gets is John B digging into his pockets and pulling out a five-dollar bill, which he then holds out to Pope in bet.

~*~*~*~*

The first thought you have as you walk up the porch steps of the chateau is ‘what the hell is that smell?’ It’s something akin to burning, though tinged with an overwhelming stench of garlic and tomato. The second thought you have as you open the door is ‘oh dear God.’

You’re greeted by a cloud of smoke and steam. It stings yours eyes a little. There’s chaos in the kitchen ahead. The clattering of pots and pans and JJ’s mumbled curses. The fact that the fire alarm hasn’t gone off can only mean that it’s broken. Smiling smally to yourself, amused, you dump your bag and cardigan on the pull-out sofa and walk through to the kitchen.

“In retrospect, this is not what I had in mind when I said surprise me,” you say, loud enough for him to hear you over the madness of his cooking.

JJ spins around at the sound of your voice. His hair is sticking in every which way (cap clearly abandoned) which only tells you he’s been stressfully raking his fingers through it. His eyes are wide and frantic like a man who just committed murder. Muscle tee damp with sweat from the overwhelming warmth that is standing in an unventilated kitchen of mayhem.

“I told you to come at eight,” he says.

You quirk a brow. “It is eight.”

“Wha—” His eyes flit to the clock on the wall, to the right of you. He cusses under his breath.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m…Well, I’m…”

You watch as he looks around at the chaos, as if coming to from sleepwalking. Your brow quirks higher still. “Starting a small house fire?”

“Cooking you dinner,” he corrects, shooting you a glare. “For our anniversary.”

Your smile can’t help but grow at that. Heart does a little summersault. He’s never cooked you dinner before (and now you can see why).

“Spaghetti and meatballs,” JJ adds, driven by your expression it seems. But then his confidence dwindles as he gestures lamely to the hob. The smoke and steam coming from it is the source of the garlic-tinged smell monstrosity. “But it’s, uh, not exactly going to plan.”

“In what way?”

“Well, to start, the pasta isn’t going all soft and stuff. It’s just sorta sticking to the pan,” he sighs, annoyed.

“Well, how much water did you add to it?”

He looks to you, blank. “I’m supposed to add water?”

You stare at him, gaping a little. Seriously?

Walking to the hob, looking down into the pan…Yep. That is just pasta, glued and burnt and probably never coming free. Then, you glance into the second pan. Pasta sauce that is weirdly brown-ish in colour, saturated with garlic (you can tell from smell alone) and mixed herbs that haven’t been diced properly, leading them to float at the top like driftwood. The meatballs are burnt past the point of no return. Chargrilled. The cooking top is covered in splatters of sauce and seasonings, making it filthy. The countertops are cluttered with every cooking utensil and appliance under the sun: spoons, knives, spatulas and even whisks (?). A bowl of grated cheese sits sadly to the side; the only thing that survived JJ’s culinary hand.

But, despite the catastrophe that it is, you can’t help but feel your heart thrum happily. Ironically, it’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever had done for you and is weirdly the perfect anniversary celebration. All of this took thought and time and effort. So, turning around, facing a very meek, embarrassed JJ who stands with his back against the fridge, hands shoved in his pockets and head hung in defeat, you find yourself smiling lovingly.

Your hands cradle his jaw, drawing his gaze to you, and you lean forward to kiss him. “I love it.”

“You do?”

“I do,” you assure. “And I love you.” Then you’re kissing him again.

JJ’s hands find home on your waist as he kisses you back, smiling. Pulling away after a moment, a little breathless, you glance over your shoulder. “I love it,” you repeat, “but I don’t think we should eat it.”

“Oh, definitely not,” JJ agrees quickly. The two of you laugh.

Another fleeting kiss and then you’re stepping out of his hold, the two of you moving to turn everything off. You toss the pan of pasta into the sink and run the tap, dunking half a bottle of washing up liquid in. Maybe that might give it a fighting chance. JJ half-arsedly piles up all the cooking utensils he’d used so there’s some more space. He then moves to the fridge to put away the grated cheese (no point letting it go to waste) whilst you tip the sauce and meatballs down the drain or into the bin.

“So, the main course might have been a bust,” JJ says with his head still in the fridge.

You chuckle as you lean to crack open every window in the kitchen, hoping to aerate the room. “To put it lightly.”

“But, hey: dessert and wine are still good,” JJ announces.

You shut off the tap and turn around, wiping your hands dry on a towel. He’s holding a tub of chocolate mousse and a bottle of cheap white wine up.

“Dessert’s the best course anyway,” you tell him with a grin that mirrors his own.

With that, the two of you head to the pull out. You swipe two spoons from the drawer on the way whilst JJ grabs a couple of mismatched wine glasses. Sighing as you sit, shuffling back to the pillows, you get to opening the wine. JJ’s wandering around the sitting room, messing with the old CD player, and as you’re filling up two glasses, some soft R&B music kicks on from the early 2000s.

“Oh?” you jokingly say, raising a brow at him.

He rolls his eyes and joins you, taking the outstretched glass you offer him. Smiling, you lean up to kiss him.

“Happy anniversary,” you whisper.

He clinks his glass to yours. “Happy anniversary, baby.”

The two of you drink and then JJ’s placing his glass on the window ledge, moving to open the mousse. You clap your hands happily, rubbing them together with a giggle.

“This might taste like shit,” JJ warns as he grabs one of the spoons. You place your glass on the side too.

“Can’t be much worse than your cooking,” you reply.

He decides not to respond to that, but you watch him roll his eyes mirthfully. Then he’s dipping the spoon in and holding it out for you. Leaning forward, you taste off the spoon.

“Mhm!” you nod, swallowing.

“Good?”

“Good!” you grin.

You take the other spoon and do the same for him, watching as he eats practically from the palm of your hands. His eyes hold your gaze as he does. Shamelessly, you squeeze your legs together. You swear only he could make something this cheesy sexy to you.

“You like it?” you wonder. He licks his lips.

“It’s alright,” JJ says, feigning being in thought (his growing smile giving him away). “Think I know something that tastes better.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm,” he nods, leaning closer until you’re subconsciously sinking onto your back.

Playing along, you innocently ask through your excited smile, “what would that be?”

He takes your spoon from your hold, tossing it to the side after doing the same with his. Hovering over you, JJ leans down so his lips are a breadth’s width from yours.

“I think you know, baby,” he mumbles.

With that, he’s kissing you. Tastes like chocolate and vino. Your hands grab at his face, pulling him nearer, hooking your feet over his legs. JJ sighs against you, chuckles a little as you do too. Breaks away to kiss down your neck, moving slowly down the bed, coming to rest on his knees and dragging you by your feet to pull you nearer, making you laugh all flustered-like. JJ chews on his lower lip, grinning that punch-drunk grin you love, as he pulls off your skirt and panties. Then he’s going down on you. Relentless and unforgiving, as if to make-up for the cooking catastrophe. He’s tongue-fucking your centre and lapping at your wetness.

“Fuck, JJ,” you whimper, eyes slipping shut.

It’s like he’s spurred on by the sounds you make, likes when you whine out his name. You grip at the blankets on the pull-out sofa, staring at the ceiling, moaning through a blissed-out smile. His thumb rubs at your clit as he works at you with newfound fever. Moaning from the taste of you, the sound making you clench your legs tighter against his head. JJ uses a hand to hold one of your legs open for him. It’s all so fucking good. You’re building, closer and closer, until you’re coming with a gasp, quietly chanting his name.

When JJ pulls away, panting, you whine at the loss of his mouth on you. Moving atop of you again, you kiss at his mouth, sighing at the taste of yourself that lingers on his tongue. Your hands hurriedly move to undo his shorts as he kisses you, making him chuckle.

“Need you to fuck me,” you tell him breathlessly.

“Yes, ma’am,” he grins, moving to suck a hickey on your jawline.

Shucking the shorts off – JJ pulling back a moment to help – you slip a hand into his boxers and work at him. He groans against your jaw, falling pliant to your touch, making you smile. But you’re impatient the way he is, and you shove off his boxers.

“I wanna be on top,” you say as he kisses your neck.

“Fuck yes,” he replies. Climbs off you and grabs for your hips, guiding you atop of him as he collapses onto his back. You’re guiding him to your entrance, moaning as he slides against your wetness. As you go to sink down, he’s stopping you, making you meet his gaze. “Wait! We need a condom.”

You shake your head. Move to sink down again.

“Baby, stop, I’m serious,” JJ chuckles, breathless.

Smiling to yourself, you lean down to kiss him. Then, against his lips, you tell him your anniversary gift to him. “I’m on the pill.”

JJ pulls you away from him by the jaw so he can meet your eyes. Through nothing but looks, the two of you have a quick, silent conversation. Really? Yes. Chuckling boyishly, kissing you again, deeper and rushed, you giggle against him.

“Happy anniversary, baby.”

#jj #jj maybank #jj x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj drabble #jj maybank drabble #jj x reader drabble #jj maybank x reader drabble #drabbles #drabble #1 #prompts #obx #obx fic #obx preferences #obx drabble #outer banks #outer banks fic #outer banks drabbles #outer banks preferences #outerbanks #outerbanks fics #outerbanks drabbles

[gabessquishytum]

Hopping back on the baby train!

Retired!Dream dropped off at Hob’s, gets shown Hob’s department at uni, gets jealous immediately bc Hob is a thick, hairy, thirst trap in a cardigan and Dream is ready to curse anyone that looks at Hob, but he can’t anymore. Dream gets some of his shit together and fucked within an inch of his new life nightly.

Dream is still jealous and now he’s smug too, but doesn’t say so. Hob is in heaven with his centuries-long companion, but he doesn’t want to mention how much he likes Dream’s new little bit of tummy. Both love each other so much but are too hung up on 1889. The whole time neither have thought about a condom.

When the pregnancy is revealed it’s a lot to get their heads around! But when it’s pretty obvious what’s going on, Dream is a major fan of surprise visits to Hob’s office with his most belly-hugging tops on so everyone knows where Hob’s interests lie. Two grad students have walked in on Dream letting Hob kiss him and his belly goodbye and this is not an accident. He makes *the* most insufferable eye contact on his way out.

🌝 anon

Omg I just love everything about this. Hob’s students thirsting over his (literal) dad bod, Dream getting sooo jealous about it... perfect perfect.

From the students' point of view its so bizarre. Suddenly their hot professor has a twinky boyfriend (really keeping the bear/twink trope alive boys 👍) who looks like the most pathetic wet cat but who is also clearly extremely territorial. Rumours go around the group chat about Dream's death-glare whenever someone gets a little too close to Hob.

The students get kind of attached to Dream though?? Like they're fond of him, they like seeing him around during office hours. It's nice to see him gain some weight under Hob’s obvious care and attention. Dream looks more relaxed (although he will "accidentally" kick you if you so much as sniff the prof's cologne). Sometimes when he's concentrating very hard on marking an essay or answering a student's question, he'll wrap his arm around Dream’s waist and stroke his little soft tummy. And Dream obviously just melts.

And then Dream’s tummy is suddenly not quite as soft or little... its full of Hob’s baby instead! The news is a lot, but basically Hob is very very happy and Dream is... feeling a tiny bit lost but also very happy. He'd wanted a new start with his retirement and life with Hob... surely bringing new life into the world is an amazing way to begin again?

And it's one more way to firmly stake his claim over Hob. He gets to sit in the office with his feet up, being cooed over by Hob’s colleagues. Some of the braver students even bring baby themed gifts! And nobody minds him being more jealous over Hob than usual - it's the hormones, right? Dream’s not sure about that. But he's pretty sure that Hob is getting more attractive by the day, and he doesn't want to risk anyone else getting the same idea.

Not that Hob has eyes for anyone except Dream. Pregnancy suits him, especially in his skintight outfits. Hob can barely keep his hands off that round, gravid belly, or Dream’s aching hips and the little rolls of his love handles. Hob is deeply, completely and irrevocably whipped when it comes to Dream. And of course, he wouldn't have it any other way.

#🌝 anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw pregnancy #trans dream

[cat3ch1sm]

Hi hope you're feeling better 💙 if I may ask again (cause ur writing is so good 💕)could I please have some wholesome and funny camping headcanons with the main four?(killua, gon, kurapika and leorio)

🪐~ hi there! thanks for asking abt my health, im taking it one day at a time :) here’s ur request!! to be clear there is no limit on how many requests one person can send in! so if u think you’re being annoying by sending in several requests don’t. i love you guys’ ideas

𝐡𝐱𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

gon is definitely the one who proposes the idea of camping. the others have to be convinced. but when gon really wants you to do something his eyes get all sparkly and big and earnest and he’s hard to say no to so eventually everyone always pulls up at the campsite

gon and killua have a ton of fun on the hike to the campsite in the woods. they’re just playing tag and chasing each other and swinging on trees and running up this steep ass hill like nobody’s business. kurapika isn’t as eager but he doesn’t have trouble actually hiking. but by the time they reach the site leorio is half dead

gon still pulls up in his fuck ass green shorts and cardigan even though they’re near water and they’re outside in the woods and there are a shit ton of mosquitoes

kurapika in a tank top. that’s all

killua does not even bother avoiding things like anthills and beehives and shi he just walks straight through them and the insects don’t even bother him

gon teaches the whole gang how to fish and Kurapika is a natural for some reason. leorio eventually gets the hang of it. but killua is positively disgusted by the worms they have to use as bait

doesn’t stop him from tossing a few down leorio and kurapika’s shirts though

kurapika is actually really proficient in the wild somehow- he remembers to pack all the essentials, knows how to set up a shelter (even though they have a tent) and knows what to do in case of things like flash floods or forest fires

there is always this one squirrel that will not stop following gon. he keeps feeding it and even though everyone says not to because then it’ll never leave him alone, gon doesn’t care. the squirrel seems genuinely attached to him and likes to chill on gon’s shoulder

there is also a squirrel that follows leorio simply to steal his food.

leorio and killua argue nonstop about how to set up the tents until kurapika swoops in while they’re busy fighting and just wordlessly puts them up himself

of course killua and gon share a tent while leorio and kurapika share the other

kurapika is basically gon and killua’s parent on camping trips because they’re twelve year old boys and super reckless. so before they go running off somewhere kurapika always drowns them in bug spray and sunscreen and makes sure they have full water bottles

for some reason killua is dead set on catching his own food. not like casual fishing like gon does, but he literally just wants to go into the woods and kill animals with his bare hands and bring them back to cook even though that’s definitely not how that works

of course Kurapika is prepared though. he brought things like trail mix and sunflower seeds and nuts and some meat. he also brings s’mores for them to make over the fire

starting the fire, by the way, gives them absolute hell. kurapika’s matches won’t light and killua’s lightning flashes too quick and gon can’t muster up enough heat energy from his nen to make the fire. after an hour though, when leorio leaves his glasses sitting right beside the pile of wood, the sun catches in the lens and finally lights the fire. leorio barely saves his glasses in time from the blaze

gon is a literal mosquito magnet for no reason. even despite the bug spray he comes back from his escapades with killua itching like crazy until Kurapika to the rescue gives him ointment to help with it

kurapika for some reason always burns his marshmallows in the fire when they’re making s’mores. he does it on purpose too and killua always makes it clear that he’s judging him for eating the burnt marshmallows

killua thought it would be fun to light the marshmallow on fire and then try and eat the literal flaming marshmallow. gon wanted to try too, but both leorio and kurapika shut that down real quick

when it’s time to go to bed and it’s dark gon climbs the trees and looks at the stars because he thinks they’re pretty. killua calls him corny but always joins him in the trees

kurapika just stays awake below, quietly watching the two talk and laugh in the tree

gon and killua always wind up falling asleep in the trees despite claiming that they’ll come back down

#hxh headcanons #hxh imagines #gon freecss headcanons #killua zoldyck #kurapika x reader #kurapika hxh #hxh Kurapika #kurapika fic #kurapika imagines #kurapika kurta #leorio paladiknight #leorio headcanons #kurapika headcanons #hunter x hunter #hxh memes #anime #kurapika angst #killua headcanons

[cl0wncandies]

breast cancer show ever is my favorite south park episode. i think that the whole plot line that sets up the fight scene in last few minutes of the episode makes it even more satisfying to watch cartman get the snot beaten out of him in the end.

cause first off, before this episode aired, there wasn’t really any point in the show where cartman truly got what he deserved. yeah some bad things had happened to him before, but he’s never truly gotten any form of karma for his actions.

so when wendy says that she’s gonna fight him. he doesn’t take it all that seriously, just he expects to either easily win the fight or for wendy to back out before the end of the school day.

and then at lunch he realizes that if he loses the fight, everyone will think he’s a massive loser. what makes this even funnier is that cartman genuinely believes that he’s “the cool kid” and that everyone likes him. so his fear of losing a fight to a girl (which is a big deal for fourth graders) makes him desperate to prevent it from happening, without apologizing in front of everyone of course.

so now cartman does literally everything in his power to stop the fight before the school day ends.

he tries to apologize to wendy in private, without confessing that he was wrong in front of everyone.

he tries bribing her with money, and even goes as far as to eat his own underwear.

and near the end of the school day, he’s so desperate to get out of the fight that he goes up to his teachers desk and takes a dump on it in front of the whole class so he would get a detention. and then the fight was moved to the next morning. he wasn’t out of the fight yet he had time to find another strategy to stop wendy from beating the shit out of him.

cartman then goes full tattletale mode and tells his mom a sob story of how wendy is bullying him at school, and how we just wants to be her friend. he even takes the extra mile to put a fancy cardigan on and comb his hair over to make himself look even more sad and pathetic.

so obviously wendys parents are like “hey don’t fight this kid” and she finally gives up.

now, if cartman had just stopped there, he probably would’ve gotten away with his actions like he normally has up to this point in the show. but this is eric cartman, so he obviously has to take the extra mile in terrorizing her at school. he makes his school research paper about making fun of breast cancer, just to further show to wendy that there’s nothing she can do anymore since her parents have prevented her from fighting.

then wendy gets called down to the principals office, and principal victoria is like “hey are you gonna beat up cartman” and wendy says no. then victoria is like “mmmm, are you sure about that?”

AND THEN SHE BASICALLY GIVES WENDY PERMISSION TO FUCKING DESTROY CARTMAN IN THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND. she calls him a “fat little lump of cancer” that needs to be “fought.” i find this scene so funny cause it just shows that literally everyone, including the adults and school faculty wants to see cartman get some form of karma.

and then the actual fight scene itself is one of the best moments in the entire show. here’s a list of things that i love about it.

wendy pulls up to the playground with a bunch of students following her. some of the kids are from different grade levels, which shows that literally everyone wants to see cartman get beaten up.

and wendy also puts her hair up in a bun and takes off her coat so we can see her my little pony tank top, so you know that she means BUSINESS.

the face that cartman makes when he realizes that he can no longer manipulate or gaslight his way out of the fight without backing out in front of the entire school, which he can’t do since he believes that he’s the “cool kid.”

cartman having to pull up his pants after the first punch that wendy threw made him fall over.

and lastly, how butters gets so excited to see them fight. he’s been egging them both on throughout the entire episode, and he gets so happy when wendy finally shows up at the playground.

also, when he yells “FUCK HIM UP WENDY!” was so funny

anyways 10/10 episode it’s so funny

#south park #south park fandom #eric cartman #sp cartman #wendy testaburger #sp wendy #butters stotch #sp butters #principal victoria #stan marsh #kyle brovlofski #kenny mccormick

[youcantstandit]

Wet Paint - Judd Birch x Reader

contains.... suggestive stuff! fem reader! judd is hot!

Judd needed a job. Summer of his senior year was nearing its start, and he couldn't manage to pull enough money from his parents to fulfill his needs of food, whiskey, and other useless items for passive enjoyment. This meant he could either rob a small business, or, alternatively work for one.

So, he decided to put some of his skills to use. Painting had always come easily to him, plus it would look good on his resume for art school. So, he thought, why not just go for it?

Y/n, on the other hand, had been saving up money since childhood. Now, at 18, she had enough cash (combined with some of her parents' efforts) to invest in small renovations for her space. The dusty pink walls lining her bathroom were far outdated, so her father decided to call a painting company to renew them. However, he gracefully forgot to mention this to Y/n.

Online school was currently beating the shit out of Y/n. And while she did get stay home and eat food everyday, she also had to wake up early and fucking work. Being a senior in this century was really not the best time.

At about 12:30, her lunch break started, and she took the time to really relax from the previous meeting. Take off the bra, tie up the hair, and put on the fuzzie paw booties. It was a crucial routine.

However, just as soon as she took off her glasses and slumped back in her chair, the door bell snapped her awake. Nobody was expected to come over, and she was alone (save for Friend's constant snap chats about going crazy from the un-required quarantine). She furrowed her brows in concentration, but figured if there was a murderer, she was just too tired to care.

She walked to entrance, clad in booty shorts (that Friend would scold for wearing in public) and a black off-the-shoulder cardigan, and opened the door.

"Um, hi?" she squinted.. who the fuck was this?

"I'm supposed to paint the bathroom, a guy called," Judd was already done with this bullshit. The cute girl who opened the door looked helplessly confused. He wanted to roll his eyes at having to explain himself, but refrained.

Oh. That. Y/n blushed at her appearance, mentally cursing whatever god was out there for making her life a constant state of chaos. Why wouldn't anyone tell her of this event, so that she didn't look like a total train wreck in front of the hot guy outside her front door. As she came to think of it, he looked vaguely familiar, maybe even attended the same school as her.

"S-sure, come in," she stuttered at the situation at hand and guided him through the short walk to her pristine bathroom. She assumed that if he was a murderer, she probably didn't stand a chance to live anyways.

They stood in the frame of the door as she explained an overview of what she anticipated for the property.

"I'm Y/n, by the way. Um I'm sure my dad discussed the colouring already? It's a pretty basic palette. Just white on all walls. And let me know if you need anything," she rambled about the task at hand and gestured to the room. Every second brought a more vivid shade of red to her cheeks as the man did not lift his gaze from her own. He must've had the most fervent stare, with green eyes so intense they seemed to bore holes right through her.

"I'm Judd," the corner of his mouth pulled up a little, bemused at the blathering mess before him. She was quite cute, he thought, blushing without him even doing anything. He wondered what was to occur if he actually played along.

With that thought in mind, Judd leaned forward, causing Y/n's back to press against the frame of the door behind her. He put one arm above her head, easily towering over her, and focussed that piercing gaze straight into her eyes. She practically cowered beneath him, gulping audibly as she watched thick charcoal strands of hair fall into his face.

"Oh- oh, um," Y/n flatteringly reacted, her whole face now visibly burning. She felt a flicker of heat begin to pool at her core, incredibly turned on and confused at the same time. She definitely knew him now, recognized by the countless times he's been seated outside their principle's office.

And then it was over. Like a flash of lightning, he was back and doubled over, laughing his literal ass off at the sight before him. Y/n dead panned.

"Okay. Real fucking funny, Birch," she rolled her eyes and face palmed at the rebel. She didn't feel stupid, but had instead already begun plotting revenge.

"You should've seen- oh your face was so- just," he slowly started to calm down, still grinning like the maniacal teen he was branded as.

Then, Y/n did the unexpected. She leaned up, and placed one arm around his neck, and the other slid across his back. Her lips met his in a dash, and the warm composition took Judd by surprise. Nonetheless, he complied. He had no complaints about this girl getting on him, and eagerly kissed back. He wouldn't mind getting a quick fuck in before his next appointment anyways. Although, this was definitely breaking the 2m apart rule.

Y/n grasped onto the shirt of Judd's back and continued to make out with him. She felt his tongue poke at her mouth, and quickly let him enter. Their mouths were mangled in a tie as Y/n brought one hand down to massage the area between Judd's hips. He growled in response and his member grew with every minute of her touch. Once he was fully hard, they had been out of breath from making out, with pupils dilated from lust.

Y/n felt this and, like the little devil she was, promptly moved away and removed contact from the man. He was hunched forward a bit from trying to savour the taste of her sweet lips, and immediately furrowed his brows at the loss of touch.

She was smirking and Judd was left with a hard-on. He tried to form a coherent thought—although the rush of blood to his dick was interfering with his brain; what the fuck was going on?

Y/n immediately burst into a fit of giggles at the situation she created.

"Okay, now your face! It's really the best- oh," she swiftly turned to her left and started strutting back to her desk.

Judd, now finally realizing what was going on, sprinted after her until his chest stood as a shield between her and anything else. He had an animalistic look in his eyes as he glared. This girl seemed like she'd be more than a quick fuck. He was going to ruin her.

"You're so not going to get away with this. Wait till' you see what I have in store, princess," he growled, and Y/n felt the familiar heat begin to pool below again. She smirked, eyes twinkling as she looked up at the cryptic man before her, knowing she made him into this mess of a situation.

"Try me," she figured her bathroom would have to wait another day.

X

hi! so i figured i should cross-post some of my stuff? also sr. year me did pretty good w this one lol .. this may have reawakened my thing for him

#judd birch #judd birch x reader #judd birch x fem! reader #big mouth #cw: suggestive #can you believe this came from my imagination? #tbh this was not that long ago #he's still hot though #omg it's 4am #judd x reader

[neuroticbookworm]

Step by Step Episode 8 Ramblings

Episode 7 Ramblings, here

Put is not even gonna let Pat say his piece? 2 minutes in and I'm already burning mad

"I haven't taken you for granted like before"

"I know, you've been really good to me" Oh Pat, you pathalogical people pleaser

I continue being impressed by this show showcasing how adults do and should handle relationships and everything that comes with it. This must be one of the most realistic breakup scenes in BLs. And it is done without compromising the emotions of the characters. Hats off, really

Jane is wearing two layers of pink. Our resident Tumblr color demon @respectthepetty has taught us that pink = love, so good to know that his feelings has remained unchanged or even intensified from last when we saw him

My god, Khun Jeng looks so fineeeeeeeee

And he's wearing a dark blue shirt underneath his neutral brown jacket. While Pat is in a dark blue cardigan. Interesting

Ohhhhhhh wow Jane is pissed and Jaab is too. The cat fight between these two is gonna be hilarious

Put, you insufferable snake, ya dumped. Stop misrepresenting facts

Jeng, how the fuck did you know? Are you really THAT perceptive?

Oh man, that is the worst takeaway you can ever have from a failed relationship

*jaw dropped* Oh Jeng is going for the jugular. Oh he's done playing games, he wants to fight

Oooooooooof. Put, you manipulative bastard

Oh it's still not over. Oh they're still going, holy shit, this is intense

Is that a threat, about coming out? Seriously, what the fuck

I CAN'T WAIT to read all the body language analyses y'all are gonna write on that scene. Woah, that really was something

Ae and Beam are here!

Well, Ae looks like a goddess, as usual. What else is new?

I love this scene and the commentary that comes with it. Keep your noses out of pregnant people's business, for fuck's sake! How hard is it to have some basic decency?

I love that Tae is calling out how quickly Jeng's mood changes from brooding to giddy and vice versa in this conversation.

We have a new stuffie. The shark is out and the tiger is in. YES I SEE IT AND I LOVE IT

Oh I'm sooo ready for this non-date date. I want the sweet, sweet fluff to drown me. Gimme all the blushing, all the eye contact, all the accidental brushing of fingers, GIVE IT TO ME

OH MY GOD, he planned the whole thing. He had people move chairs out of the way for aesthetics. This complete bitch (affectionate)

GUYS, THE FLIRTING, I know I said I can handle it, but this is too adorable ^^

Jeng just hung up on his brother in a flash, not even waiting for him to respond? Oh that's cold

Oh shit, Pat is drunk, again, Here come the truth bombs

Damn, Man Trisanu is nailing this. He is acting his ass off to show how restless Jeng feels before every almost-confession

This slowburn is gonna kill us all, honestly

Oh we are dancing, oh it's so gloriously awkward, oh make it stop

Jaab, my beloved, I've missed your melodrama. You look like a divorced sugar baby who won half the riches in the settlement, I love it

Jeng tells Pat he can be just a safe space for him, while Pat is sobbing on his shoulder about his ex. All while Jeng has been trying the whole day to confess his own feelings for Pat. Every atom of this man is a green flag, I swear

These drunk disaster gays, I love them so much

Pat, sweetie, no. Please, you must be joking. Don't tell me you didn't know, DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE THAT OBLIVIOUS!

Okay, now Pat has to rethink each and every one of their interactions to see if he has ever misled Jeng, or if Jeng has ever crossed his boundaries. And then recalibrate his feelings with this new information. Yeah, this could take a while.

I'm leaning more and more towards the possibility of a second season, or even a special episode, after the show ends. Because there is no way they can fit all the domesticity these characters deserve within the next couple of episodes.

Ahhhh I can't believe the slowburn is still not over. I love it and I hate it and I'm pretty sure this show has turned me into a sadomasochist.

#step by step #step by step series #step by step the series #step by step ep8

[lovingkvinner]

The aftermath-

Larissa weems x reader

Basically all the shit that went down after that bitch Marilyn fucked shit up

Tw: death, near death, fire, anxiety and hot milfs

You were getting worried, it was 6.30 and your wife wasn’t even home yet, and to make matters worse when you called she wasn’t picking up. Larissa was always home at 6, every day, she was never late, your wife was a woman who loved a strict routine and if she was going to be late then she definitely would have told you. Dinner had been ready in the pan for a full half hour now and you were just stirring it, keeping it warm and trying not to burn it. ‘Everything is fine, she, she’s fine” you said to yourself as you drew away from the kitchen counter and to the phone. “She will just be dealing with something and her phone ran out of battery. Wednesday will have been causing trouble again I’m sure” you reassured yourself like you were a nervous child, picking up the phone you dialled nevermore’s number hoping that someone would pick up. The phone didn’t even ring. Why wasn’t it ringing? You felt your chest tighten and you pulled your wife’s cardigan that you were wearing tighter around your body, breathing in her scent.

Your cat brushed itself up against your eyes and you reached down to hold it for comfort, you cradled it in your arms like it was a baby “your mother will be home soon Florence… shes just, running late” the cat had no idea what you were saying and just stared back at you with empty eyes before crawling out of your arms.

You placed the phone back on the stand and fiddled with the rings on your finger, you were about to wonder off to the kitchen again to try and salvage the burned mess that had once been dinner when you heard the door open.

In staggered a tired looking Larissa.

“Oh my god-“ you covered your hand with your mouth “I was so worried no one was answering any calls I was about to get in the car and come looking for you” it was at this moment you noticed her appearance, her eyeliner had travelled with her tears to run rivers down her face and her clothes were covered in what looked like soot.

Instinctively you grabbed your wife’s coat from her like you did every evening she returned home but instead of hanging it by the door like usual you just placed it on the floor as it needed to be cleaned.

Larissa said nothing and just hugged you, you held her as she let out a sob, you didn’t even care about your own clothes getting dirty.

“What happened” you asked stroking her mess of hair

“I’m never hiring a normie again. Or anyone for that matter….” She said as the two of you stood.

You pulled back from your wife with confusion “what are you taking about”

“Marilyn wasn’t actually, well, Marilyn. she was Laurel gates and she tried to resurrect some cragstone to kill all of the outcasts and then she poisoned me but I managed to survive when I shapeshifted into a rabbit because I knew they are immune to deadly nightshade but then the building was on fire and a dead corpse was trying to kill everyone but then Wednesday and some of the others killed him… for a second time and no one knows that I’m actually alive and-“ she said all of this without breathing or taking a moment to think.

“Rissa darling slow down you’re in shock, I think you should sit down ‘n i’ll get you some water and we can process this together” you dragged your wife to the table where you made her sit down but when you tried to get her a glass of water she held on to your wrist to stop you.

You took this as a sign and sat down.

“But that’s not the important part!” She told you, her hands holding yours as her teary eyes gazed at you, you had never seen her this way before in the 14 years you had known her “when I was dying and I thought I would never see you again I realised something”

Saying nothing you decided to let her speak and freed one of your hands so you could caress her face, you weren’t sure why but now you were crying too.

“I realised that you are all I want and, and that school is what is holding me back from everything, from happiness, from moving on, from feeling alive. I can’t let it keep me in this god awful town and keep you here too we need to leave, get away, go anywhere” the look in your wife’s eyes was erratic, like someone who’d taken their first shot of heroin and thought they had found god.

You were both sobbing “where Riss where would we go?”

“Wherever you want as long as you are there then I don’t care. We could go back to London have a life see all of our old friends and you could go back to working in the museum instead of the stupid cragstone museum where your mind is wasted and I could teach there, there’s plenty of outcast schools or, or we could even go back to your home I know you miss it and you could show me everything you loved I can learn the language I don’t care!” She was insane but you loved her, this wasn’t the usual Larissa, the sensible Larissa who never did one spontaneous thing her whole life. You liked this though she was finally beginning to see what everyone else is seeing. You sat in awe for a second not saying anything.

This worried your wife.

“Say something please, say anything even if it’s calling me crazy just speak” your wife pleaded and you squeezed her hands to let her know you were thinking of the words.

“I always knew you were bigger than that stupid old school.” You smiled and Larissa gave you the biggest kiss. She sighed and you could finally feel her muscles relax.

Turning around to look at your cat you told her “Florence pack your bags we’re leaving for London”

Larissa laughed at this “don’t worry I’ll find our daughter the best cat school” she joked.

The mood soon turned sour as a knock sounded on the door. “Who could that be?” You wondered.

Larissa’s returned to being panicked “oh, that will be the police they think I’m dead!”

“Well what should I say?!” you asked her desperately. Your wife looked around herself aimlessly “I hope you can act. Faking your death is about as fresh as fresh starts come?”

Kissing your wife on the forehead you stood up and made your way towards the door, you looked back at her and smirked “you were never heeereeeee” you joked in a spooky voice before sauntering away

Larissa stayed close enough that she could here but not close enough she could be seen.

You pulled the door open and put on your worried wife act “hello, oh officer what is it? Is something wrong” it helped you had been crying, seemed more authentic.

He looked towards the floor, a look of regretful anticipation was plastered on his tired face “it’s, it’s your wife, Larissa Weems”

You opened the door further to look interested “oh what is it? I am dreadfully worried, see she was supposed to be home over half an hour ago I can’t seem to get a hold of her.” You increased your worried expression and god you hoped this was enough.

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but, I’m afraid she’s passed away” he didn’t make eye contact with you.

Tears flowed down your face at an instant “no; no no no what do you mean. No she’ll be home any minute you’ve got the wrong person!” You found it pretty easy to act sad and you hadn’t felt that different from the emotion only minutes prior.

“We’ve had witness accounts say she was poisoned. Although we don’t have a bod-“ he began to explain.

“What do you mean no body?!” You asked in desperation, you didn’t want to look like you were accepting your own wife’s death.

“Well we’ve had witnesses say she died but we haven’t found her in the wreck yet…” he said, more drawn back than before.

“I think I want time to process this on my own if you don’t mind officer”, your hands covered your face as you weeped.

“Of course, I’ll swing by if I get anymore information. I’m sorry for your Loss” that was all he said before walking away from the porch and climbing back into his car.

You slammed the door shut with relief.

“And scene!” Announced your wife from the kitchen

“Do you still have funerals if there is no body” walking over to her you leaned your body into hers.

“Yeah it’s just like an empty casket and everyone pretends” in amidst your conversation with the police your wife had been rooting through the pantry and was now eating cookies, she offered you one and you took it gladly.

“Guess we’ll have to stay until the funeral, it would be suspicious if I left seconds after my wife had dropped dead” you breathed in the scent of your wife which once was expensive perfume was now the smell of smoke and dirt.

Larissa was visibly exited “ I am SO attending my own funeral but like as someone famous so everyone thinks I’m cool” she squeezed you as she held you and placed a kiss on your cheek from behind.

Chuckling at your wife you escaped from her grasp “you are such a narcissist”

“No I just want to see Wednesdays face when she thinks I’m dead. Anyway I’m hungry do you want to order pizza?”

“Absolutely”

#gwendoline christie #larissa weems #principal weems #lesbian #larissa x reader #wednsday addams #gwendoline christie x reader #brienne of tarth #sandman lucifer #gay #larissa weems oneshot #oneshot

[drowninginredink]

WIP List

I always like it when people talk about their WIPs. I live for that. So it's my turn. But I am a one-shot writer at heart with way, way too many ideas, so here is a list of everything I'm toying with. For the record, some of these don't even have a single word written yet, and none are that far along, so don't get your hopes up too high.

Smosh One-Shots

"Feelings are so fragile" — Platonic Shaymien thing where I project really hard onto Damien. (Yes it's for the aro collection)

"Most euphoric I've ever been" — A spetney fic based the fact that yes, they're technically a m/f couple... But like, no. Put them together, you've got nonbinary lesbian vibes. Sorry Spencer, you're getting your gender transed because there's no way you and Courtney are straight.

"But what's a home?" — A Damian QPR fic. Damien/Ian is already such an interesting rarepair and then you make it a QPR and it's like... They end up living together just temporarily because Damien's housing falls through and turns out they both really miss when they used to be living with their best friends and look I know everyone likes romance but do you know how good QPR fics can be? I love the idea of them as a QPR so much?

A thing for @aro-soulmates-fest about Anthony getting all his tattoos to hide the fact that he doesn't have a soulmate one.

A murderverse one shot about Arasha because God I fucking love gang AU!Arasha

A vampire!Spencer fic where Shayne plays the role of Johnathan Harker

"And I lie like the right thing to do" — me taking @generaltrashshecox 's whole "Anthony sleeping with Damien to cope with unrequited feelings for Ian thing that I love so much and just doing my own version of it where I lean into the angst so hard. With permission from bun, don't worry

A (platonic) nintendogs fic where I decide to do a little bit of own voices stuff on the fact that The Chosen is suuuuuuuuper schizo-coded

I bought a new ray and it's time to use it. Let's make Ian aplatonic this time.

"Then it's done." Killing off Spencer. Very one-sided Spommy.

A lil smut based on Anthony asking Tommy to choke him.

Hey @generaltrashshecox infected me again and now aro4aro Antmien needs to exist

This post into a real fic

Smosh not a one shot but also kind of a one shot?

14. "Once in twenty lifetimes" — A no smosh AU that's going to go through all the different ways Ian and Anthony could have ended, choose-your-own-adventure style. And as the title suggests, only one of them is the reunion. Most are things falling apart. And also to fit the title, it's going to be in twenty chapters (although that does not mean 20 endings. I don't hate myself.). So it's multichapter, but also it'll all be posted at once so it'll basically be a one-shot. It's going to end up as kind of an epic and God I hope it turns out as good as it is in my head. Inspiration for the good endings is "Cardigan" by Taylor Swift, and for the bad endings and a lot along the way is "San Cristobal" by Mal Blum.

15. Partners (in crime) — my Changela QPR fic that was supposed to be a one-shot right up until I wrote the thing, and actually wrote a chapter one. Not sure how long that's going to be, but I like it so far.

Smosh Multichapter

(The fact that my very one-shot oriented self has multiple of these is such a problem)

16. "Puppy Love" — I don't need to say anything about this. There are already 5 chapters on AO3. Either it's extremely your shit or you're wondering what the hell I'm doing and why I'm writing this extremely specific concept. If you're wondering why I still haven't posted chapter 6, it's because that has sex in it and I fucking hate writing sex scenes so I'm procrastinating really hard.

17. "I'll use you as a warning sign" (aka the evil fic, so named because chu-tea thinks I'm evil for coming up with the plot) — yeah so what I planned for PL was just a straightforward kind of fluffy ianthony piece. And then a certain friend of mine (*cough* chu *cough*) accidentally inspired me to think of a different ending that is such hardcore angst and hurt that I absolutely needed to make it happen and have been obsessed. It's interesting when you've already made the bad decision to start a long project and then oops, now you just really want the next 6 chapters to be done already so you can write the alternate ending. This one will *really* not be everyone's shit because I will rip your heart out in 6 different ways. But God I'm obsessed. Anyway, if you want details... I'll just say "major character death" and leave it at that. Oh and rarepair.

18. "I've come back changed and I can feel it in my bones" — an AU where "what if Anthony left because he got psychosis." Basically very hardcore projection on my part. This is on the back burner for a while because obviously when I have projects that aren't going to be emotionally gutting to write, I'd much rather work on them.

Non Smosh Stuff

(I'll be honest, I'm so deep in the smosh obsession that you should not get too excited about any of these. I know myself, so I know the smosh flame will eventually burn out but these are based on things I will be obsessed with until I die. So I know they'll happen. But not for a long time)

19. A Phantom of the Opera one-shot for @aro-soulmates-fest. This is the one thing I will actually write within a reasonable amount of time, because it's due March 17.

20. "Baby, please don't bore me" — A Series of Unfortunate Events — Sunny (well, Sorrel in this version because oops I transed their gender) teams up with Olaf to find their siblings after years of separation. I find them to be a very interesting chaotic, morally gray, bantery duo.

21. "Because the same night awaits us all" — ASOUE — A Klaus/Lemony fic that I swear I will write someday. Very morally gray, very much a codependent relationship, very leaning into the age gap. Basically they're together because they do not have anyone else in the world. It's just so delicious a dynamic that I will explore I swear.

22. ASOUE — I'm still not entirely convinced I'll ever be bothered to actually write this one, but I might do a Kit/Fernald FWB thing. I'm not sure where on earth the idea of that came from, but it's been living in my head for a long time now. Long enough that there's an early one-shot version of it that I don't really like anymore on *gasp* fanfiction.net

If anyone actually bothered to read all the way to the end of this long-ass post, you deserve a medal.

[myewten]

Walwal

- a Tagalog term that describes getting absolutely shit face drunk

Enhypen hyung line reaction to seeing you ride a mechanical bull

: alcohol, this literally just sexual tension and mentions of male masturbation, exhibitionism??

A/N : I've been itching to write this idea when I saw this vid on porn hub and here now here we are

No proofreading, I die like a man

Comment or send an ask if you have ideas and to be tagged in future parts!!

You had just broken up with your now ex boyfriend Nicholas. You weren't really that hung up about but it did present you with very good excuse to finally live the college life that was portrayed in movies and not just the endless torture that you were experiencing.

you: are we still on for Saturday??

Rina: yeah, meet at chae's?

Gaeul: 9pm?

Chaewon: yeah and wear something slutty y/nie😛

Ryujin: wanna borrow some of my clothes?

you: can I get a please before you treat me like a common whore? I mean I'll do it but still 😀

Saturday came faster than expected that you didn't realize you were already getting pushed into chaewon's bathroom to get dressed in a black and white lacy camisole dress that honestly looked like it belonged on a Victoria's secret mannequin. You take a look at yourself in the mirror and get stunned at how hot you looked even though the dress was out of your comfort zone. The dress accentuated all the right places and showed a lot of cleavage in addition to its short length. 'nothing a cardigan can't fix, could use a necklace though'

You walk out the bathroom and immediately hear the wolf wistles of ryujin and the flirty comments of Karina.

"You sure you ain't into girls?"

"I'll tell winter you said that to me."

"HEY—"

"Bitches it's almost 11 and we aren't even ready yet so chop chop."

After chaewon's instructions you and the girls finished getting ready before pre-gaming with some of chaewon's mom's pink gin to fully prepare yourselves for the night that was to come.

Heeseung was casually taking a sip of some Tanduay ice and looking around the roudy old western style club as he wasn't planning on getting drunk. Automatically getting assigned as the designated driver being the eldest and the only one out of the five roommates that actually had a car. Jay was beside and was slightly tipsy but sober enough to hold a decent conversation with strangers that he randomly talked to. Jake and sunhoon however...for lack of better words are completely trashed.

Jake was currently on the dancefloor dancing with girls he didn't even get a fuck about. They weren't you but they'll do for the moment. Sunghoon however was currently making out with a girl he met 30 minutes ago by the men's restroom which happens to be near the mechanical bull that was an attraction of the night club.

The four had decided to go out and get drunk in order to cope with the stress of finals and their mutual unrequited feelings towards you that they all accidentally found about. They had their own ways to cope that you would never look at them the way that they looked at you. The four had thought that without the presence of your boyfriend you might finally pick up the very obvious signs that they like you sexually and romantically for some.

But to their dismay, you had proudly announced your plan for the next couple months.

"fuck men and their commitment issues, only good thing about them are their dicks"

You didn't explicitly say it but that statement basically translates to "I'm not yet ready for a relationship so I'll just fuck around"

That then leads us to the present where your group finally entered the infamous night club and went straight to the v.i.p area that gaeul had acces to due to her older brother being a manager here. A round of shots was passed around before ryujin pulled you to the dance floor along with Karina. You felt your body let loose and get lost in the music. You were beginning to think that you were wrong when you said that the one party scene in euphoria was unrealistic now that you were kind of in a similar situation.

You were so lost in the moment that you didn't notice that your four roommates were also in the vicinity.

'so this was her "having a sleepover at chae's".'

'you really won't leave our minds alone, huh'

'why does this chick's breath smell like garlic— WAIT IS THAT Y/N!'

'i should fuck her in that dress'

You see gaeul and chaewon make their way through the crowd towards the three of you. "Having a bit too much fun without us now are we?"

Letting out a drunk giggle, you drag them to dance. You see in your peripheral vision some people leaving the dancefloor to go to a more lit up corner of the club. You of course, get curious and check it out only to find out it was the mechanical bull that this place was famous for. You normally would've just watched the scene as various people were getting thrown off the machine but drunk you had different plans.

"HEY CHAE WASH ME RIDE THIS BISTCH!~" were you going to regret this tomorrow when you wake up not only with a hangover but also with bruises? Yes. But it looked like fun and it wasn't like you weren't used to riding stuff all the time.

This also happen to catch the attention of the four boys that have been secretly keeping an eye on you through the crowds.

Before the responsible ones can stop you, you were already lining up for your turn. You fail to realize that what you're currently wearing would surely expose your underwear due to the position that you'll be put on but whatevs is all you can say to the sliver of your sober self.

And before you know it you were being given a pink cowboy hat and guided in the little arena where the sleeping bull lays. The worker that you also deemed quite cute lifted you by your waist onto the bull, whispering a quick 'good luck, pretty' that was caught by the watchful gaze of heeseung.

You heard a certain song start to play and it was like you were possessed by the soul of Nicole Scherzinger. The bull started to move and so did your hips. You weren't just riding a bull, you were riding it. It was a scene straight out of an early 2000's music video. You felt everyone's eyes on you and for once it actually felt good. So good that you didn't realize your dress had ridden up to show your ass and white lacy underwear. The song eventually came to an end with the bull slowing down and making your friends cheer you on for a successful ride.

The four men stood there stunned at your performance, all with matching uncomfortableness in their pants. Jake didn't think of himself as a pervert but what else was he supposed to think about when his crush just did that. Sunghoon was no better either, praying to God for forgiveness because of all the thoughts that ran through his mind on what he wanted to do to you.

Jay and Heeseung however, had a different approach. They shared a glance at each other, understanding without saying anything that you were too drunk and needed to go home before you do something like that again. Of course they cared about your safety but they also couldn't stand the thought of other people looking at you the way that they did. You were too hot for your own good and that made the two immediately sober up.

You finally see the two of them when they approached your table. "𝐇𝚎𝕖! ᴊ𝒶ʸ! ᴡ𝒶𝒕𝒄ᕼ𝙪 𝘥𝗈Ⓘ︎ⁿ 𝖍ǝ🅡︎𝘦~"

You were definitely shit faced after not having drank for a long time as you can see.

"it's good that you guys are here, I was about to call for an Uber anyways."

"we can just drive you guys since I brought my car with me and I haven't drank much—"

"we won't fit in a sedan cause I'm assuming you're with the other simps, I'll take Karina and Gaeul with me and you can drop off Ryujin since her building's close to you"

You get passed off like a sack of potatoes to jay's arms by Karina which you drunkenly complain about. Ryujin was in a bit of better shape than you but was currently ranting about politics to heeseung who politely nodded along while trying to contact sunhoon and Jake to meet at the parking lot.

When you got there with the help of the sturdy arms of Jay you see two figures waiting by the car and immediately recognize it as you favorite and least favorite roommates.

"𝘑ᗩⓀ︎ᵉᵉᵉ𝔂~" you immediately ran to the man while laughing at Sunghoon's face just because it's Sunghoon.

"Come on let's get in, you might freeze to death with what you're wearing." You all follow Heeseung's command and ryujin gets in the from seat as she was getting off first. That left the four of you to squeeze in the back seat of the civic. "Just sit on my lap so we aren't so cramped."

You mindlessly follow Sunghoon's order but sit on Jay's lap instead since he was in the middle and hand the most leg room for you. This left hoon slightly disappointed but that soon turned into irritation when he saw Jay's smug face at the corner of his eyes. However Jay's smile soon faded when you wiggled around to get comfortable on his lap and leaning back so you were flush against his chest. Okay, so you may or may not be that drunk and using this situation to test out the waters between you and your roommates but that details aren't important. Not when you feel jay's rapid heartbeat against your back and his growing erection against your barely covered ass.

This led you to not realize that you were already at Ryujin's street. "Jake switch to the front once Ryujin gets off so you guys are more comfortable back there"

It was a heroic sacrifice in the eyes of Sunghoon, a sacrifice that will finally get you off of his friend's lap and calm his jealous ego. Jake however was slightly disappointed but felt it was worth it, just for you and Jay to finally separate and not make him suffer anymore. Once Ryujin got off with Jake getting out the door and making sure she got inside her building safely, the four of you began your journey to your lovely home.

The only sound that you can hear inside of the car was the sound of the road and the car itself since everyone forgot to turn on the radio and it would be too awkward to ask for the aux when you guys are already five minutes away. You see your building and let out a light sigh of relief because you were starting to feel the adrenaline wear out of your system after your stunt with Jay.

'Another late night "shower" for me then'

You guys finally reach your flat with Jake accompanying you in case you trip despite having drank a lot himself. He still insisted to make sure you get to shower first and drank some water before he lead you to your room once you were already in your pajamas and fresh out the shower.

But you were stopped when you heard him call your name in a tone that you can't describe. You turn your body to face him and slightly tilt your head to ask why he called for you.

He suddenly got close to your face to look into your eyes but stopped when he saw the look of panic that washed through your face. He then smirked and got close to your right ear before whispering something that will definitely be in your wet dreams for the next week or so "thank you for the show, sweetheart."

taglist: @parkhonnie @lix-freckle3 @yoswagmuffin @mxlkywxy05 @muffinminnie @enhasengene @heeyounext @arizejkt19 @nshmrys @happyasakura @wonsieur @zerasari

#enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen #enhypen smut #heeseung #jake #jay #sunghoon #enhypen x female reader

[trin-gvf]

D.R.W - dirty little secret

2.8k words minors DNI

danny x fem!reader

WARNINGS: daddy kink, gagging, slapping, degradation, cheating, spit, basically whatever u can think of

daniel robert wagner. what you wouldn't do for that man. one problem. he has a girlfriend. jordan. she was sweet of course but oh god was she a fucking airhead. you could fuck her boyfriend behind her back and she would never find out.

you had known danny since forever but never close enough to actually talk to him. he was in a band and seemed untouchable. that made you want him even fucking more. the way he played on stage made you dive your hand in your panties a great number of times. watching him play on stage was nothing but pure sex appeal.

one night after coming down from yet another high while looking at danny's instagram page you saw a particular comment.

jordieswxrld: so handsome! 💞

you were quick to tap on her account and message her.

y/n: hi girlie! you don't know me but I'm friends with the band and figured we could hang sometime!

jordieswxrld: omg hi!! i'd be down!

y/n: perf! does tomorrow at the tangle hearts cafe work?

jordieswxrld: it does!! how about 2ish?

perfect.

you continued to message her about stupid shit like your favorite colors, foods, how you met the boys, etc. you both agreed to bring one of the boys along. you got josh to agree and she said daniel would come along with her.

you set your phone down and drifted off to bed.

the next day you planned a perfect outfit. one that didn't draw too much unwanted attention but one you hoped would make danny notice you. even a little sneak at your cleavage would've made you happy. you slipped into a light brown cropped tank top with black high waisted pants. since it was starting to get cold you threw on a white knitted cardigan and some boots to top it off.

you looked over your outfit once more before meeting josh in your living room.

"ready to go?" you asked before grabbing your over the shoulder purse. he nodded and opened the door for you.

"i'm glad you're finally giving danny a chance, he's a cool dude." josh spoke whilst backing out of your driveway.

"yeah, i just guess i never felt the need." which a complete half assed answer and you knew josh knew that. it was an absolute lie. you never got to know danny because you'd eye fuck him everytime you'd come around him. every word you would have spoken to him would be dripping in lust. your words would have flowed like a spoon drenched honey, dripping back into the bottle with the sun casting a golden hue onto the counter.

the ride to the cafe was short, it wasn't too far from your house. the second you laid eyes on danny and his god awful girlfriend you didn't know whether to be happy around danny or annoyed to be around jordan.

as you got closer to the table, you presented a smile. danny and jordan got up, jordan greeting you with a hug first. danny greeted you with another hug, this one just a second longer than the one you had with his girlfriend. his cologne engulfed you. the scent alone made you want to rip his clothes off and go at it until you both had not an ounce of energy left in you.

"it's amazing to finally meet you! i've heard so many great things. i've just never managed to find time to hang out!" you said, faking your best friendly voice.

"ohh! i'm sure! you work at a big company i'm sure it's hard to find free time!" she said back.

"oh it really is!" you said sipping on your americano.

"i barely got today off." you spoke out, making casual talk.

"so, what is it you do?" danny chirped up.

"oh- well i work as a medical front desk receptionist. it wasn't too bad in the beginning but with covid, we're all so in demand so it's almost impossible to get any days off." you explained, taking in danny's every movement, every detail. his brown curls softly bounced with every movement his head made. the way he paid attention to your every word. you felt almost as if you were talking his ears off just to watch his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips.

for a moment you thought he was an actual angel on earth sent down to bless your body with some holy feeling. but the feeling was much less than holy. the exact opposite to be specific. maybe an angel sent from hell.

"y/n…y/n!" you said, getting snapped out of your thoughts by josh tapping you on the side of your arm.

"what?" you barked back, clearly annoyed.

"danny asked you a fucking question dip shit." josh yelled into your ear.

"shut the fuck up josh, youre so loud! sorry danny, i was in my own world for a second!"

"that's okay, y/n. i was wondering if you were going to be at the show tonight. maybe we could all go to a bar after the show." he suggested.

"oh definitely! that sounds like so much fun."

the boys were kicking off their first leg of tour right here in their home state, michigan.

the rest of the day was spent in that little cafe, you taking in every beautiful detail of what was the man in front of you.

when it was time for your departure, you hugged them all goodbye.

"bye you guys! see you tonight!" jordan said, walking back to the car with daniel.

"he is really cool." you said looking down at your feet.

"told you." josh said with a smug smirk.

josh dropped you off at your house before going to the venue he needed to be at for sound check.

you quickly ran to your room, desperately searching for an outfit when you came across two items you knew would work well together. you decided to go with the band's theme.

you dressed in a body suit that was a gold velvet texture. it was two pieces of material covering your tits just right. it gave enough cleavage but you could jump around to the music if you really wanted. you found a chain belt to hang around your waist. it was also gold with suns on it. the suns has faces on them and it was very much one of your favorite possessions.

you paired them with nude stilettos and started on your makeup. you went with a basic gold glitter on your eyelids with black winged liner. you carefully placed gemstones under your eyes, mimicking what josh usually has when he's on stage.

you took an uber to the venue, not wanting to deal with the mess that was parking. as you went behind the building, you showed your pass to the security guards and met up with the boys backstage as they were about to go on. you saw the kiszka's, danny and everyone's girlfriends but dannys.

as you walked up to danny, asking him where jordan had been.

"she had to be with her family, it was an emergency." he said, he sounded sad but not too bad to the point you felt the need to feel bad for him. maybe this was your chance. with all the pent up energy he'd have from performing, he'd need to take it out somewhere. right?

you gave him a long hug before slowly taking a curl of his into your hand and slowly slid it between your two fingers.

"you look good tonight. goodluck." you whispered into his ear, placing a hand on his chest before walking away to get a drink. you smirked to yourself, hoping you had gotten to him. you'd definitely shown enough of your tits for him to check you out at least a couple times at the cafe earlier in the day.

as you went back backstage, you saw the boys giving it their all to the fans. as you leaned against a wall, you noticed danny eyeing you every so often when josh would take a moment to give the crowd a heartfelt speech.

as you took a sip of your white claw, you managed to "accidentally" dribble some onto your chest. you made a fake surprised face and took the drops of it onto your finger. making sure danny was looking, you lapped the liquid off your finger, making eye contact with danny.

you watched danny take a hard gulp, shaking whatever thoughts he had going on in his beautiful mind.

during their last song, you made your way to his changing room. you took a seat on his couch, crossing your legs and scrolling on your phone mindlessly until you heard the doorknob turning. you quickly shoo-ed your phone away and put on a smug smirk plastered on your face.

as he walked into the room, he was shirtless and covered in sweat. if he asked you to, you'd lick the sweat off the soft skin of his chest. his chest was moving like mountains, heaving up and down because of the adrenaline pulsing through his veins.

"what are you doing here, y/n?" he sounded shocked. really you couldn't blame him.

"hm. just..chilling i guess, daniel."

you could tell your words were working their magic. his eyes slowly darkened as his pupils expanded, making his eyes look black and full of pure lust. you looked at him with hooded eyes as you got up, dabbing his sweat off with a cooled towel.

"you seemed distracted daniel. what happened tonight?" you giggled as you slowly backed him up against the counter multiple makeup products were laid on.

"you know what the fuck my problem was y/n." his voice was much darker now, sending another gush of desire in between your legs.

"tell me, my sweet daniel. what was the problem." the sentence was more of a command at this point. both of your voices were low, not risking getting caught by any of the other brothers.

"my problem is that you eye fuck me any and every chance you get." he said through gritted teeth.

you softly placed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"i'm so much better than her daniel. i promise you that."

as you slowly pulled away from his body, he brought you back in with his hands digging into your skin.

"y/n.." he muttered.

"i've looked at you for so long, daniel. imagining how you'd feel against my body. imagining how much heat our bodies could produce together."

"if you keep talking like that i'm ripping your clothes off and fucking you dumb right here, right now." he said, pushing his very noticeable boner onto your thigh.

you were once, lost for words. not a single thought other than fucking the man in front of you were floating around your pathetic little mind.

"you don't think i didn't notice when you were bending over the table today? showing me your tits?"

you felt your bodies switch places. you were now pressed against the counter. you both were unbelievably hot and bothered. danny leaned down to place little kisses to your neck.

"what? you'd love be my filthy fucking secret. wouldn't you? getting fucked by me everytime shes not around."

"i'd love to be your dirty little secret, danny." you said, nibbling his ear lobe before slowly falling down to your knees. you undid his belt and undoing his pants. you watched them fall to the ground. you were left with his dick print outlined on his boxers. you wanted nothing more than to pull them down his thighs and shove his cock down your throat. yet, you refrained of doing so. you wanted to take your time with him.

you slowly outlined the tip of his cock, licking up the precum that had beaded through the fabric. you savored the salty taste on your lips before slowly pulling down his boxers. you softly gasped at his size, looking up at him.

"be a good girl and suck my cock like you're supposed to." he muttered, looking down at you. his hair was softly framing his face, his lips turning red due to softly biting on them.

you did as you were told and started with the tip, getting it wet and slobbered up. after doing so you ran your tongue under his shaft before taking about half of his dick into your mouth. he gathered your hair into his hand and made a ponytail with it, holding it together.

"c'mon now, you can do better than that. now can't you?" he said, pushing his cock down your throat. you let out a rather loud gag.

"look at you. acting like a whore and you can't even take my fucking cock." he growled, giving you a slap to your face.

he pushed his cock down your throat once more, leaving it there for a second.

"breathe through your nose, calm down." he smirked, loving to watch the struggle. when you gargled against his dick he let you off. a thick strand of spit connecting you to his cock. your mascara was slowly running down your face from your eyes watering while you gagged.

he stood you up, slipping you out of your body suit. you kicked your shoes off and he did so. the kiss you were currently sharing was full of moans and wet noises.

he pushed you back onto the couch and bent down to his knees. he slapped your pussy a couple times, causing you to jerk your body.

"danny please-"

"don't fucking speak unless your calling me daddy. do you understand?"

you were yet again at a loss for words.

"yes…i- yes daddy."

he pulled you to his mouth, giving a big fat lick, licking up every ounce of wetness you'd produced.

"you taste like fucking heaven. and this? is this for me?"

you nodded as he went back down on you. you covered your mouth, trying to be as quiet as possible.

he sucked on your clit, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. the hand that was placed over your mouth was now yanking hard on danny's hair.

"fuck daddy, youre so fucking good- holy shit!" you whisper yelled as intense pleasure coursed through you.

"let me hear you. your pathetic whines."

"danny what abou-"

"don't. fucking. question me." he barked out at you.

he fucked you with his tongue, causing you to tense every muscle in your body.

"daddy- fuck! i'm gunna-!" you cried out as you came over his face. he pulled away, his chin glistening with your arousal.

as you caught your breath, he walked over to grab his belt.

"on your knees." was all he spoke as you sat on your knees, facing away from him.

he grabbed your hands and quickly tied them together with his belt. how he knew how to do this? you would never know. and never would you have ever guessed daniel was so kinky.

he pushed you down, your chest hitting the back of the couch. a rough moan released from deep within your chest when danny stuffed his cock into your cunt. wet noises were bouncing off the walls, along with daniel's grunts and your moans. he grabbed your hands that were now tied together, using it to thrust into you. he took no time before going at almost impossible pace.

you were taking every feeling in, you couldn't help but let your mind go blank. your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your mouth was hung open.

"look at you. putty in my fucking hands. you came at me and now my cock is too much for your pathetic little self." he said, giving your ass a good couple slaps.

you started drooling, like you cared. you'd be a mess after this anyway. he threw his head back and gave the other side of your ass the same amount of slaps, evening everything out.

you were so close to the edge. so so close to feeling that burst of release you've been needing for god knows how long.

"daddy- i'm so close. don't stop- oh fucking god! don't fucking stop!"

a couple more thrusts and danny was pushing his cock further into you, painting your walls with his cum. you on the other hand, started to cry as you felt your orgasm. the feeling being almost too much for you. you were almost screaming by the time you were shaking over daniel's cock.

both of your breaths were unsteady and heartbeats going as fast as rabbits.

"holy shit." he said as he pulled out. his cum leaked out of you as he undid the belt around your wrists.

"look at that. my very own cock slut. hm." he said in almost a coo-ing voice.

he helped you wash up and even took your makeup off of your face before changing into some of his comfy clothes. you left long before he had to.

at the end of the day you felt happy you finally got what you needed. you were sore most definitely, but so fucking happy.

#greta van fleet #gvf #josh kiszka #greta van fleet smut #jake #jake kiszka #sammy #sammy kiszka smut #danny #danny wagner smut #daniel wagner #danny wagner #danny gvf #daniel gvf #joshua gvf #josh gvf #jake gvf #jacob gvf

[addysfandomdump]

This might be a little bit of a ~spicy take~, or not idk, but a lot of the teammates in Coroika, especially the ones on major teams like Blue Team, the S5, Team Emperor and the X-Blood, feel like backup dancers for the leaders rather than actual characters with their own unique personalities. A lot of female characters in particular are often just background fodder or sometimes just a genderbent version of a male teammate. I get that it's a boy's manga, but boys deserve kickass female characters just as much as girls do.

Edit: removed Omega's section since I made a very uninformed take there. Sorry.

Blue Team especially suffer from this. Headphones and Bobble, as much as I love them, really do just feel like girl versions of Glasses and Goggles in the manga. Headphones especially I feel is given the least significant development out of the four. She doesn't feel all that different from Glasses. They have practically the same character roles in the group: the straightmen who react to the funnymen. They even have the same reactions 80% of the time!

There are ways to have them keep the same role and still do it differently. The Headphones in my mind is more assertive and stern than Glasses. She is the tired eldest sister trying to keep the rest of her unruly siblings in line. She contrasts Glasses' "what the shell!? why are you doing that!? stop!" with a more confident "you better cut that out right now or you're going in timeout." With the authority she seems to have, you'd think she was the leader of Blue Team lol (actually... that would be a cool idea... we haven't really seen any female leaders in the manga, have we? apart from the School Cardigans). She is the team's rock who keeps them grounded and focused.

Bobble is a less severe case I think. She seems less scatterbrained and more mischievous than Goggles. In my mind, Goggles creates unintentional chaos while Bobble is intentionally chaotic. She does whatever makes the joke funny I think. She also imitates her friends a lot, usually imitating Goggles the most.

Practically all the teammates on the S5 suffer this fate the worst. They get little to no characterization and mostly just exist to fill out the team. They often just feel like watered-down versions of the leader. The later Splat2 teams suffer this case a little less I think. More teammates are given more unique personalities, like Half-Rim's dryness balancing out Gloves' overconfidence, Double Egg's arrogance and Red Sole's slightly unhinged personality.

Also never going to forgive how Nana was handled, she should've been accompanying Hachi and Goggles and kicking ass. Also I don't think Blue Teams should've gotten involved in Octo Expansion, it feels too crowded with them there. In general, Justice for the Female Coroika Characters.

Once again, though, female characters are still left in the dust most of the time with N-Pacer. N-Pacer looks so regal and cool, and maybe there's a bonus chapter I'm missing but she does absolutely fuck nothing in the story apart from being the sniper on Emperor's team. Going off of appearance and vibes alone, I read her with a Blaze the Cat/Satsuki Kiryuin type personality: regal, independent, ruthless, a commanding presence to be respected. She is Emperor's closest confidante, quick and precise in doling out her orders.

I'm not saying every single character needs to go through a complex arc— the story would get too crowded and cluttered otherwise. I'm saying give them some semblance of a personality that isn't just a watered-down version of the "important character." It can be the most basic shit, just make them feel like they're an actual character living in an actual world.

#coroika #this post is 25% literary criticism 25% character analysis and 50% headcanoning/retconning #this got so long holy shit #sorry if i get too annoying with these takes on a grade school boys manga I just have Thoughts

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #? Soldier Soldier S06 EP.09 Asking for it (Con's Conography. 1996)

In future if you want to read all of these posts, I've added the tag 'Con's Conography'. Now they're all in one nice spot!

Warnings for: Sexual assault/rape (committed by Con's character), abuse of power within the military structure, assault, abuse of power, sexist comments(what you would expect from the military).

Should I watch this before reading this? Is it worth it?:

Con plays a military official who abuses his station, sexually assaults a female private under his care, and semi-gets away with it with barely a scuff on the wrist in the end.

It's a really fucking good story about how women are treated in the military. Especially victims of sexual assault. He uses his power to try to get her kicked out. When that fails, he knows they're onto him. Without much evidence, he can't be prosecuted so he asks for a transfer, which he receives. He's not a repeat offender, his first assault happens mid-way through the episode, but he's a fucking jackass who couldn't take no for an answer. They give him internal reasons why he thinks he didn't go too far, and it is very real. If you're still interested, watch it.

Again, cause I went into this fully blind I will be saying whoreish things about Con. If you just look at his costumes, he has some 'hot' ones in this if you don't know what he does. If you look up Soldier Soldier a good chunk of it is people rebloging hot photos/gifs of Con without context.

He did this 1 year after Scarborough Ahoy and basically has a shorter haircut. Still in the 'hot young Con era'. They literally throw him into a pool fully clothed for fucks sake. After the scene happens, my tune changes. I promise. Again, they don't define him as a man with a history of assault, but Con's character is definitely the type to think 'I only fucked up once, I'm still a good person.' just fucking gross.

If it's too much skip around my live reaction and jump to the end for my final thoughts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, military. Should have guessed based on that title. This intro is very 80s for the 90s. If they kill anyone I'll kind of be surprised.

CON! IMMEDIATELY!

Angry swim coach Con, yes.

God, he pulls off military type so well.

"If you've got the energy to smile, go give me a few more laps." HELL YEAH.

God, I know that's his voice, but god it sounds like it hurts.

I hate military types...so much.

This bike tampering is dumb, and dangerous, and is going to get both of them beat up. Also, these men(E-1 privates) 'respect' women more than any vet I've met.

I'd be entertained by that shit. And fucker seems like an ass so might as well give it to him.

Con looks huggable in that jacket. It's a nice soft blue. Love it.

CON IN A HAT! With a little feather.

"I never thought of you as a romantic!" GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. Can he just be evil? Or a douche? Every single fucking project this guy needs to be sad and lonely, wanting a friend/lover. Hurt by a past relationship and just wanting justice in his life. Don't get me wrong, I eat this shit up with a goddamn spoon. But Fucking HELL. EVERY CHARACTER?

HE'S DIVORCED. THAT MEANS HE'S AVAILABLE BABY. "There's only room for one woman in my life, I joined the army, she made a man out of me." I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

ALSO THAT CARDIGAN, AHHHH. It's obviously cheap military clothes, but god.

CON SMILING BABY!

(The young couple we've been following all episode) They're a cute couple (I say, a military brat that got out before I was 10. They'll fuck, have a kid, and be just as unhappy as anyone else on base. Divorce before their kids fifth birthday. Love that)

OHH I think I've seen clips of this scene!

ROBERT! THEY GAVE HIM THE NAME ROBERT. :) Funny in an Ironic way. He couldn't find a date? If he's a teacher then he probably doesn't leave base often, and a divorce? This man is going to be relationship adverse as fuck.

Also, parental issues be damned, he looks nice in uniform

I love that he got all up in his space, and Robert just looked fucking dead inside. Then he ruined his meal.

Also, please tell me he isn't going to fucking go after a woman in his charge. :). Please. Fucking please. I'm holding on by the edge of my rope, if he takes advantage of his subordinate, I will be pissed.

God, Con's speech around 12:30 sounds like a good ol' time.

BOB. I know it's a shortening of Robert, but Jesus fuck.

Also, this amount of restraint is admirable. He should have gotten screamed at.

We as the audience are probably supposed to think he's an ass. Nah, he didn't humiliate him in front of the other officers, held his ground when he thought he was being made fun of. This is just good leadership. Izzy Hands could fucking learn a thing.

Bitch, he would have already heard about them fucking. The gossip would have been spread by lower-level officers. This 'damn, she got away' thing shouldn't work.

OOooooo sexist Con line. Don't like that.

Small break to talk about a fun real life military thing.

His point about some people getting ahead by passing tests is a real thing many in the military resent. (In the US you go up an E-4 on day 1 if you have a bachelor's degree in anything, to Corprol. Hell, depending on if you were reserves you could go up higher, when most start as E-1). This motivates some to join up even after they could get a job away from the civilian world. If you are poor, you're fucked. Take the long way around and don't get good pay.

Personally I see what Robert is saying here to be the main thing Izzy holds a grudge with Stede over. Stede was able to purchase being a captain where as he had to fight for it. Possibly die for it.

Now, back to this episode. There are bullshit and bigoted reasons behind this belief, not just class-based. It's used to say why women shouldn't serve, etc. Con's a sexist pig here and says these same reasons. It is exactly the reason I never followed in my family's footsteps. In male-dominated fields they will 9 times out of 10 treat you like shit. BACK TO THE SHOW.

Robert, if you fucking assault this woman I will reach into the screen and murder your ass.

Okay, a drunken apology is fun. Jackass trying to get in her pants.

EWWWW.

Forced attempted kiss/assult.

Don't like this. Mam, just scream close to the doors if you feel uncomfortable. Jesus Christ. OH THAT'S FUCKED UP.

Okay, he's forcing himself onto her. Gross.

Also, real-life examples of abuse of military power.

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S EMBARRASSING TO PAY FOR SEX, RAPE ISN'T BETTER YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

He assaults her here.

Hey, you remember when I didn't want con to be in roles where he wasn't sympathetic. NOT LIKE THIS. This is actually one of the worst things you could have made him do.

BEAT HIS ASS UP. (This is around the 40-minute mark.)

I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF HE'S HIGH RANK, IM SWINGING.

This is where I started skipping around, thus why the rest is so short. It's all too painful and real. He's called into the office to answer for his crimes and bluff.

He threatens her in private, and thinks that he's going to get away with it.

Again, the military is in to protect their ass, but it's good to see the woman investigator standing up for the victim.

OH GOOD, FUCKING KILL HIM (he's almost drowned from the victims boyfriend, but gets stopped).

So, at the end of the day. There's not enough evidence to put him in jail or kick him out. She's left traumatized, and Robert gets away with some glares and very little else.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Story: 8-9/10. Very real. I was wearing Con tinted glasses, but as a military kid who grew up around this shit, I almost immediately coped with him as the type to assault an officer. Lonely, doesn't get out much and feels like women owe him something. The type.

Con: ?/10 He plays A Fucking Vile piece of shit. The worst of it is you know his character has half a dozen reasons of justification. I was tempted to write out all the ones he says in the show, but no. I've heard it all before when men come onto me, and I tell them I'm gay. 'But you looked at me and smiled?' type shit. He plays the part really fucking well. Skin crawling performance of a 'nice guy'. He just does it so realistically I don't want to say like 3/10 you know?

Characters besides Con: Realistically, and sadly, more men would have sided with Robert. He has the rank, and though not well-liked, he would have been given the benefit of the doubt more than he was in the show. Everyone's performances were realistic and semi-heartwarming with how they believed the E-1. I liked the main couple and I hope they get together in the end. This a good example of why we need high-ranking women in the military.

Editing: Of it's era but non intrusive.

Overall: ?/10. I don't know how to put this one.

Again, if I wasn't ex-military kid/grew up around vets it wouldn't hurt as much. They sell you a dream when you grow up thinking the military does no wrong. How successful your male family members are and how they are heroes. But as a little girl, I quickly saw just how fucking dangerous to live up to these expectations was as an woman. On and off the field. If the purpose in this was to reassure the public that female victims would be believed, then it kind of works as propaganda.

This show fully explores it in a military with less rigor than the one I'm used to seeing. Still the same sexism bullshit regardless of where you are.

Don't worry, I'm watching a Val (BBC Uncle) mega cut after this to soothe my head.

I'd love to hear if anyone else has watched this, and your thoughts on it!

Have a lovely day.

thanks to @ivegotnonameidea for the list :)

#soldier soldier #con o'niell #con oneill #Con's Conography #Soldier Soldier #Col Sgt Robert Hicks

[straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept]

The person is stupid you can write song happily and still being sad at other time, she can write things about privacy, want privacy at a time of her life and then change her mind, she's human lol ( and they're are still very private we don't know every detail)

( and she can have heard the chorus from Joe and imagined from that a love triangle, there is no big contradiction)

( and I think she said in some date of the eras tour that she was drinking too much wine during the pandemic but I might be wrong)

This is exactly my train of thought, anon.

Like, that's exactly it. Taylor is a human and that means she's imperfect and dynamic. She is not a static thing, she can change her mind the more she experiences the specific things that she has experienced. Like, I can see taylor having an extreme reaction to the harry, karlie, calvin, tom situations and wanting to be extremely private as a defense mechanism against the trauma of those relationships being so public. it doesn't mean that just because her last relationship was private, all the rest of relationships will be in the future.

and like literally nothing taylor has said about folklore is contradicatory and the fact that she made that little "making sourdough bread or whatever" snide remark on tour is proof to me that she really did write that shit with Joe. Like, instead of seeing her as being petty and hurt in that moment, some gaylors would rather see her as being conniving and lying ????? she could have written cardigan and then heard the basic ass lyrics to betty's chorus and decided to make it a whole Thing. it's perfectly fine and plausible to assume joe wrote the shit with her and he, *gasp* even inspired her to write some really good, sad shit.

and finally, taylor saying she 'drank too much wine' is not her saying she is a lonely drunk and the fact that you are putting those words in her mouth is further proof that you don't like who taylor swift is as a person. She has her flaws, she is not a beacon of sainthood, she will engage in self-destructive behavior and lash out and be petty and hurt in public and still try to put on a brave face and instead of giving her compassion and empathy, you're calling her a "Drunk" like what the actual fuck is wrong with you, yanno?

but like the thing that gets me the most is that she started off with "if you bothered to listen to the lyrics" like babe, have YOU listened to the lyrics? "how long could we be a sad song until we were too far gone to bring back to life" if that's not confirmation she wrote folklore with joe, what is? her lyrics don't add up to lesbianism, the queer imagery in her work is still valid even if she dates men. you can be queer with a preference for men and still be queer.

#taylor swift #gaylor #anon love #ask and you shall receive