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writing-ca-ira · 9 months

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HERE

Naruto Team 7 x Reader

*Clasps hands together aggressively* ALRIGHT, Y’ALL. Time to share one of my favorite (currently) 2-parter family fic EVER CREATED. It’s called Let the Roots Take Hold by buddhaghost, and y’all do NOT know how many times I’ve read both stories. It’s basically just Narufoster home AU, and it’s very Sai-centric, and I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. So, I decided to write fanfiction… for a fanfiction. Please read buddhaghost’s original, it’s SO GOOD.

Anyway’s summary time. Naruto has a nightmare, ruh-roh.

Reader is gender neutral.

Contains: Foster home AU, nightmares, implied child abuse/neglect, kind of Sai-centric, reader has self-doubts, reader can’t comfort anyone for shit, all platonic.

Iruka’s house was plagued with nightmares.

Before anyone gets it twisted, it’s not Iruka’s fault; the very thought was so ridiculous, it would cause you to burst out laughing (Iruka’s the last guy on earth to do anything nightmare-worthy). It’s just that… well… the 5 of you came from broken homes with varying types of scars and experiences. And while Iruka helped — and is still helping — with the fallout, those scars and experiences unfortunately linger around… pushed to the back of your minds until the darkest hours of night, when your conscious can’t filter out the bad thoughts from the good.

So, nightmares were common. Not necessarily nightly, but common enough where one of you five will wake up from one at least once a week. Iruka’s become acutely aware of this informal nightmare schedule… because of course he has a magical sixth sense like that, where he just so happens to check your rooms merely seconds after waking up in a cold sweat… and he’s made each of you promise to wake him should any of you have even the slightest of rough dreams.

But tonight, the informal nightmare schedule had Naruto down for a horrendous one, so his screams were enough to have everyone up.

It was admittedly kind of a blur to you; one moment, you’re being startled awake by the most shrillest cry, and then the next, you’ve somehow teleported to Naruto’s beside helping Sasuke calm him down. Sakura’s suddenly there, then Iruka, and the four of you manage to calm Naruto down from a full-blown panic attack. After his wild gasps for air turned into stable (though shaky) breaths, all of you quickly fell into your routines. Iruka gathered Naruto into a secure hug as the blonde began to sob. Sakura had one hand rubbing up and down Naruto’s shoulder soothingly while the other reached for his beloved stuffed toad Kichi. Sasuke took a seat near the foot of the bed as he gently patted Naruto’s knee.

And you…

You just stood there.

This was your role whenever Naruto had a nightmare; present, but not in the way. While you knew how to calm him down, it was Iruka, Sasuke, and Sakura who knew how to comfort him. So, you always let them do their thing as you stood dutifully at the bedside… your hands at your sides… fingers fiddling with the fabric of your nightwear… watching as Naruto’s sobs turned into quieter sniffles.

This was… a rough one. While it could’ve been worse — a lot worse — seeing one of your foster siblings in distress always put a stone in your chest. Not only because it was your family suffering, but because you know exactly what the post-nightmare panic feels like. And more often than not, all you can do is helplessly stare as Iruka provided the comfort to your siblings that you also so desperately wanted to provide for them. You wanted to be caring like Sakura, who has Kichi perfectly balanced in her lap and ready to hand off to Naruto when he felt better, or a protector like Sasuke, who can chase away nightmares with just one solid, grounding hand.

But… you weren’t like Sakura… and you weren’t like Sasuke. Their roles were carved from their own experiences… for better or for worse.

“… Iru…ka?”

Naruto’s muted voice snapped you out of your thoughts. It was crackly and hoarse, which is pretty on par for a post-nightmare-panic-crying session (doesn’t mean it broke your heart any less to hear, however). Scanning over your pseudo brother’s condition, you took note of his shaky hands and wobbly bottom lip. His tears may have stopped, but the urge to cry was still prevalent in his glossy and red-rimmed eyes.

Iruka adjusted his hold on Naruto so that he had a clear view of the blonde’s face. “I’m here, Naruto,” your foster father whispered. A gentle smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, dark eyes shimmering with nothing but kindness and encouragement. You could feel the tension leaving your own body from the sight of it (Iruka had the ability to give out secondhand comfort. Because of course he did).

“… here,” Naruto echoed, almost unsure of his own words. He slowly directed his gaze to Sakura, then at Sasuke. “You’re here…”

“We’re here, Naruto,” confirmed Sakura. You could tell she was trying her best to put on a brave expression, though the reassuring smile didn’t reach her worried eyes. Sasuke seemed to pick up on this, and diverted Naruto’s attention by asking, “how are you feeling?”

The blonde didn’t answer for a while. As a blanket of silence settled within the room, a coil of apprehension formed in your stomach. His eyes were void of any readable emotion, a thin line present on his lips. From your peripheral vision, you could see Sakura clutching Kichi close to her body, and Sasuke grimacing from his own question.

Then, Naruto answered. “I’m thirsty.”

… You were pretty sure you even saw Iruka give a sigh of relief at that.

He wanted water. You could do that. If Sakura gives him care, and Sasuke gives him protection, then you can give him water. With the scare of him possibly disassociating out of the way, you let out an unsure um to test your voice. “I’ll go get you some. What color cup do you want?”

“Uh… one of the green ones, please.” His voice still held a bit of an edge to it, but you could tell he was slowly relaxing. You offered him a small grin and a thumbs up. “Sure thing.” You started making your way towards the door, but before you crossed the threshold, you turned back towards the bed and said; “I’ll be right back.”

Naruto slowly nodded, a shaky breath leaving his lips. You saw his shoulders — which seemed to hitch upwards when you had your back towards him — drop into a more eased position. Despite already having a general idea, that was more than enough confirmation to tell you what his nightmare was about; solitude. He hadn’t struggled like this in a while... of course, it helped immensely that you all accommodated for his separation anxiety, but he was doing really well at night. Then again, you knew better than to assume that a disorder can just go away like that.

This is just Naruto’s road to healing, you reminded yourself, rounding the corner towards the kitchen. We’re all on it just like him.

Next thing you knew, you were face to face with a shadowy figure.

… And you admittedly felt your soul leave your body for a few seconds.

Before your fight or flight instincts could kick in, the kitchen lights flicked on, effectively blinding you for a solid 3 seconds. It took a lot of rapid blinking to regain vision, and when you finally did, you were face to face with…

“Sai,” you gasped out, one of your hands clutching your heart as you try not to buckle towards the tiled floor. “Geez, man… you almost gave me a heart attack…!” A small pause. While your tone wasn’t admonishing, you weren’t sure how he would translate it. So, you decided to tack on a very light-hearted, “hi, there,” just to see if it balanced out somehow.

“Hi,” the ravenette responded. He seemed just as surprised as you were, with his eyes slightly wider than usual, and his eyebrows raised a fraction of a inch higher. These were minor details that you would’ve missed out on months ago, but now you were starting to get the hang of the smallest twitches in his facial muscles, pinpointing them to some sort of emotion. Surprised Sai was uncommon, but you can recall a handful of times when he’s used this expression (you’re glad you got surprised Sai over startled Sai, because startled Sai is… well… that’s a story for another day).

There was a beat of silence between the two of you. Just as you were studying over him, he seemed to be studying over you, and it wasn’t until about 10 seconds passed before your rather eccentric brother spoke up. “Sorry for scaring you. I was getting Naruto some water.”

It was then that you noticed he was holding a green cup in his hand. Oh… so, Sai was awake. Since he wasn’t with you guys in Naruto’s room, you kind of subconsciously assumed he was somehow still asleep... then again, it was kind of foolish to think that a former child soldier would sleep through screaming. You wanted to say something more profound — maybe praise him for how thoughtful he was being — but you had to curiously ask; “you were listening?”

At your question, Sai’s head tilted downwards, his dark eyes suddenly finding interest in the kitchen floor. You saw him subtly catch the inside of his mouth in between his teeth while his brows knit together the slightest bit. “Yes,” he answered. His voice was level, as though nothing was amiss, but the hesitation was enough to tell you otherwise. “He… said he was thirsty. So I got him some water.”

Discomfort. Sai was feeling discomfort. You could tell from the way his shoulders were stiff and hitched up, and how he held the green cup closer to his body; you’ve seen him so that with his sketchbook in public many times, whenever someone wanted to look through it. While you weren’t sure what he was exactly discomforted from, you wanted to help walk him through it.

Before he gave you a chance, however, the corners of his mouths pulled upwards into that uncanny smile, as though hooks and wires were puppeteering his face. “Did he say what color cup he wanted? I assumed it was green, but I can’t be too sure. If not, I can get another cup.”

“… He…” your voice died off. Watching Sai return to that fake smile as a shield was already a blow to your heart, but him guessing what color cup Naruto wanted? You had to steadily inhale through your nose to keep the shakiness out of your voice. “He said he wanted green. How did you know?”

“Naruto always swaddles himself in the green blanket whenever he’s sick,” the fair-skinned boy explained, eyes drifted towards the cup in his hands. “So I guessed based on that.”

Right… because Sai is the most observant out of all of you. Possible even more observant than Iruka. If anyone in your house were to pick up on a detail such as Naruto gravitating towards green for comfort, of course it would be him. You couldn’t help that warm smile spreading across your face at the thought of Sai taking note of something like that. “That’s… wow. It’s amazing how you remember those small things. I don’t know what to say.”

Seemingly not registering your words of praise, he kept his eyes on the cup. “Is… uh… Naruto okay?”

Uh.

Sai never says uh.

Yeah. Something was DEFINITELY wrong.

“He’s doing much better,” you began. “Still a little disoriented, but I’m sure he’ll be the same ol’ Naruto by morning.” You paused for about 4 seconds. Trying to connect the dots was… well, it was difficult. Sai was hard to read, despite learning how to express himself more and more these past months, but one thing seemed to be clear; it had something to do with Naruto. “He’s probably already back to complaining, too… what’s taking (Y/N) so long, huh?! I’m dying of thirst!! Or something like that.”

It was meant to be a joke. Not a good one, but just something to get a small, polite chuckle out of Sai. But your words seemed to have the opposite effect. Instead, you watched in horror as his bottom eyelids crinkled upwards, a single tear cascading down his pale cheek. His eyes held no pain or sadness, but just seeing a tear was enough to trigger your sibling comfort mode.

“Sai—?? What’s—”

He interrupted you. “That’s good.” A small pause, another tear streaming down his face. “I’m glad he’s okay.”

Before you knew it, tears were slipping down his face faster than you could process it. He didn’t sob, hiccup, or wail, only occasionally sniffling as he stared off into space. This… was new. You’ve helped reassure Sai before, distract him from some of his less than ideal feelings, and even stayed up late at night to give him company (… not to mention, keep an eye on him when it was… going rough), but him crying? God, where’s Iruka? Where’s Sakura? Hell, even Naruto and Sasuke were more well-versed in this field… do you call Kakashi? Tsunade? How would Sai perceive you leaving to grab your phone? Should you… huh him? No, he doesn’t like physical contact. You know this. What a useless thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Then it suddenly dawned upon you how dumb you must’ve looked;

You were just standing there.

Your hands at your sides.

Fingers fiddling with your nightwear.

Watching Sai sniffle.

This isn’t helping him, you urgently thought to yourself. Now’s not the time to freeze up. I… have to do something…!

But what can you do? He probably wasn’t too keen on the idea of a comforting hug, or a caring caress on his shoulder, or a protective hand grounding him. He didn’t like physical contact, so what would help him?

You’re not comforting, caring, or protective…

… but you are logical, right?

“Sai,” you gently started, “what are you feeling?”

He didn’t give you a response for the longest time. The absence of an answer made you increasingly aware just how quiet the house can be at night, though you swore you could distantly hear laughter coming from Naruto’s room. Maybe it was a dumb thing to ask… maybe you should’ve gotten Iruka, or called Kakashi or Tsunade, because you obviously can’t handle comforting someone on your—

“… Bad.”

It was a feint response; you almost didn’t hear him. But your ears managed to pick up on it, and you realized that you had some steam to work with. “Bad?”

“Yes.” He sniffled. “It feels bad. Here.”

You watched his point finger tap at his sternum. Trying not to furrow your brows, you tilted your head to the side and said, “in your chest?”

A nod. “It feels… bad.”

That’s… not a lot to go off of, but at least it’s something. The fact that Sai managed to label what he was feeling with a word in general made your heart fill with pride (you thought about telling Iruka, but you weren’t sure if Sai would be okay with that). “It feels bad,” you repeated. “Did it start feeling like that when you heard Naruto scream?”

The dark-haired boy seemed to think about this for a moment, then shook his head. “No.”

“Okay. Then…” you bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to think of a question. “When it start feeling bad?”

“At the doorway,” said Sai.

At the doorway? You were about to ask what he meant by that, but then it hit you; “The doorway to Naruto’s room?”

Another nod. “I heard him crying. It started feeling bad then.”

You weren’t exactly sure how to translate that. With a description as vague as “bad,” there were be many things Sai could be feeling. But you were right about it being connected to Naruto, so there was only way you could possible think to help him. “Would you… like to see Naruto?”

His red-rimmed eyes snapped up to yours (eye contact again. Another point for you, yay). From the way they widened by a fraction of an inch — the return of surprised Sai — you could tell that the very notion of seeing Naruto didn’t even cross his mind. He swiped at his face, drying it of any lingering tears, and returned to his neutral expression.

“… See him,” he echoed. It was like the words were foreign to his tongue, and something about that didn’t sit right with you. Did he think he wasn’t allowed to? Apprehension suddenly clogged your throat, your thoughts racing as you tried to recall anything you could’ve said or done to make him feel that way. Before you got too lost in your head, however, Sai brought you back to reality. “Can I see him?”

“You never needed anyone’s permission,” you were quick to assure him. “I think he would love to see you. It would make him feel better.” You started walking down the hall, still keeping your gaze on your foster brother. “Come on, let’s go give him his water. I bet he’s absolutely dying right now and cursing my name.”

This time, your joke seemed to land. Your last glimpse of Sai before you turned to face forward was of him softly smiling, and you let out the breath you didn’t even know you were holding in.

The trip to Naruto’s room was silent, and while it wasn’t a comfortable silence, it wasn’t necessarily an uncomfortable silence, either. You found yourselves in front of Naruto’s doorway rather quickly, but before you walked in, you noticed out of the corner of your eye how Sai hesitated in his steps. It was as though there was an invisible barrier keeping him from entering… something keeping him out.

You were about to turn around to reassure him, but Naruto’s voice rang out before you could. “(Y/N)! You’re back!!”

Everyone was looking at you now. They were still relatively in the same positions when you left, except Iruka had a chair pulled up to Naruto’s bedside. Kichi was secured tightly under the blonde’s left arm while his right one flailed in the air as a very energetic wave.

“We thought you got lost,” Sakura joked, her voice a bit strained as she talked mid-stretch.

You watched as corner of Sasuke’s mouth twitched, something he did in an attempt to not smile. “Did you forget the water?”

“Actually, Sai got the water,” you retorted. Finally looking behind you at the shadow in the doorway, you motioned for Sai to come in, but all he did was stare dumbly at you in return. It might’ve been because you put him on the spot… you usually never did that, as you hated making him uncomfortable, but this time, it was a necessary sacrifice. A sacrifice made out of love, if you will. He can be passive aggressive about it later, you didn’t really care.

“Sai?” Iruka’s tone held a hint of surprise in it, but not enough to overpower the ever-present warmth he spoke with. When his eyes landed on the boy in question, a kind smile broke out on his features. “Ah, that was very thoughtful of you, Sai.”

“And he got me a green cup,” cheered Naruto.

The praise Sai was receiving seemed to fall on deaf ears. He took a few unsure steps into the room, hesitated, then only continued further when he saw your reassuring smile. He had to reach over Sakura to hand Naruto the cup, but Sai’s steady hands kept it from spilling a drop. You watched intently as the blonde graciously accepted Sai’s offer, half of the water guzzled down within a millisecond.

“Geez, Naruto, slow down,” Sakura chided. “And what do you say to Sai?”

After lowering the cup, a satisfied ahhh left Naruto’s lips. “Thanks, Sai! I was dying of dehydration over here!”

Called it, you mentally scoffed.

Sai’s blank expression didn’t falter. He stood at Naruto’s bedside with such an uncomfortable stiffness, you couldn’t help but grimace a bit out of sympathy. This was new territory for him. From the way his lips pressed into a thin line as his fingers thrummed against the side of his leg, you definitely knew he was nervous. After taking a little time to scan over Naruto’s face, the dark-haired boy finally spoke up. “Are you…”

He trailed off completely. The thrumming fingers suddenly turned into full-on fidgety hands as he tried to find his own voice. Now that everyone’s attention was on him, his gaze was trained on Naruto’s colorful bead sheets, and you realized that it would be 10 times harder for him to get his words out.

So, you had to step in.

“Sai wants to know if you’re okay, Naruto.” Your eyes darted towards Iruka, who gave you an encouraging nod. “He was… worried.”

“Worried,” repeated Sai. He said it with such softness — such fondness — as he brought a hand up to his sternum. “Yes… I…” there was that crinkle in his eyelids again, and you were afraid he was going to start crying again. But instead, he looked back at Naruto with glossy eyes. “I was worried about you. Are you okay?”

Naruto seemingly didn’t know what to say. Unlike Sai, it didn’t take much to recognize whatever emotion was displayed on the blonde’s face, and from the wide eyes to unhinged jaw, you knew that he was surpised. This expression was soon replaced by pure joy, however, as a giant grin broke out on his face. “Ahhh, I’m fine!! No biggie!” He paused for a moment. “But… thanks for worrying about me. It means a lot, ya know?”

There was a fond smile on Sai’s face; one that fully reached his eyes. You could see the tension in his shoulders drop as his hands stilled their movement. On the bed, Sakura hitched her legs up to her chest as she potted the now vacant spot in front of her. “Join us,” she practically commanded. “Sasuke was just telling us about the time he totally wiped out on his skateboard trying to impress a girl.”

“I was not trying to impress her,” Sasuke quickly snapped back. “And I didn’t totally wipe out.”

“Yes you did!! Yes you did!!” Naruto gleefully jabbed his finger at the Uchiha. “I saw you!!”

Sasuke huffed. “You were too busy trying to catch frogs. You didn’t see anything!”

“Was not!!”

“Was too..!”

As the two began to bicker back and forth (with Sakura acting as the rogue devil’s advocate and Iruka just giving out a drawn-out sigh), Sai finally decided to take Sakura’s offer, sitting down on the bed as delicately as possible. He only contemptly observed the chaos that was unfolding, his head pivoting towards whoever was making the current retort. You couldn’t help but fondly chortle at the sight. This was your family; Iruka being the peacekeeper, Sasuke being rambunctious, Sakura being rambunctious-er, Naruto being rambunctious-est, Sai being just happy to be here...

And you…

“(Y/N)!”

You looked up to see Sai patting an empty spot next to him, much like how Sakura did earlier. It wasn’t exactly the biggest space, with 4 other people already on the bed, but it was just the right size for you to possibly squeeze in. Your heart filled with warmth at how Sai’s eyes sparkled with encouragement, so of course you had no choice but to walk over and plop yourself next to him.

Seeing you join everyone on the bed, Naruto let out a triumphant laugh. “Alright!! Nothin’ like a good ol’ nightmare to bring the fam together!!”

He thrusted his hands into the air from joy.

… Except he still had the cup of water in his hand.

So, the next thing you know, Naruto’s room forecast looked to be a 100% chance of showers as he managed to get everyone on the bed varying degrees of wet. Sakura let out a surprised yelp while Sasuke hunched over like a wet cat, and Sai… well, he somehow predicted this outcome and jumped off of the bed before a single drop could reach him, so he was spared. You, however, were not, as you tugged are your now wet nightwear, trying to process what just happened. Iruka was doing a bad job at covering his amusement with his hands as Sakura and Sasuke shouted in unison, “NARUTO!!!”

So, yeah. This was your family; Iruka being the peacekeeper, Sasuke being rambunctious, Sakura being rambunctious-er, Naruto being rambunctious-est, Sai being just happy to be here…

And you…

You were also just happy to be here.

#Naruto x reader #Iruka Umino x reader #Naruto Uzumaki x reader #Sakura Haruno x reader #Sasuke Uchiha x reader #Sai (Naruto) x reader

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jq37 · 4 months

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.....fuck. Ok, so the simple answer is Cassandra's going Nightmare King. But that "she's at my side once more" thing gives me hope that this is something else and not entirely Kristens fault. Could be the Elf side of Galacaea reacting badly to the Wolf side gaining prominence and she's trying to grab for any piece of her old self to gain a controlling foothold. On the lighter side of things, Kristen believing she's a full-on actual political candidate and trying to give a speech to steel-workers was gut-bustingly hilarious. Less light-hearted, Adaine needs to stop attacking her financial woes as a teenager and start attacking it as a wizard adventurer. And lose the crap job, a 40% discount is not worth those 8 hours she's losing every shift. She can get a lot more done with that time. But she's a kid who's trying to solve this on her own instead of the common sense move of reaching out to adults who know more. Siobhan commits to the bit, I'll give her that. Bizarely, Gorgugs 400% course load is actually is the most solvable problem. Get Digby and Wilma to tutor him and help him speedrun through the Freshman and Sophomore material and then play catch-up on the Junior year material. He might have drop the Owl Bears, he needs those hours. Fig is killing it so hard in all her classes, it would be fucking hilarious if she's the Bad Kid who graduates as valedictorian. This one ran long, sorry about that.

OK, my quick thoughts on everything before I sit down to write this recap tomorrow (I finished my notes today--geez these JY eps are LONG):

Kristen: Wild that the thing Kristen has chosen to go all in on is her high school bid for class president and not *gestures vaguely* literally anything else. Funny, but wild. My best guess until we have more info is that this is an "As above so below" thing because the wizards getting ripped and aggressive is super random except for the fact that the main things that Kristen has been doing in the past few months is getting ripped and being aggressive to Cass. But we're working with incomplete info so we'll see.

Adaine: Girl, take Aelwyn's chest of rubies and sell it for cash and buy stuff with that! Or better yet, use your Oracle/general divination powers to figure out the lotto numbers/stock futures and exploit that! Honestly, even killing your mom is a better plan that working at Fantasy Auntie Anne's!

Gorgug: :( Hang in there buddy. It's wild when everyone else is dealing with kind fantasy problems--even Adaine's thing is tinged with Fantasy what with the absurdity of the items she needs to get--and Gorgug is just dealing with…a completely regular school problem. That's rough man. I personally feel like I'd try to join a club or something to show off my skills rather than doing it on the books if this requires a 400% course load but I hope he can make it work. Though, it would also be interesting for them to do a, "There's no shame in trying and failing," storyline because man that's just so much work and that's an important thing to learn.

Fabian: If you want Adaine to be at your party then give her some of your massive pile of gold so she doesn't have to work a crappy mall job. The girl is filtering gold flecks out of discounted booze and you know that because you're the one who gave her permission to do it. Either help her or don't be sulky when she can't make your shrimp party!

Fig: Fig as surprise valedictorian has the same energy as Annie realizing she and Shirley are neck in neck for the position even though Annie is the type A control freak (this is a Community ref for anyone who's like whomst?). That would be so funny. But also, it wouldn't be crazy! Fig was super preppy before she decided to be punk. I wouldn't be surprised if her grades were always good and she's also passionate about everything she does. If she wasn't set on sticking it to the man, she'd be so so so solid.

Riz: You didn't mention him but I wanted to give him a section anyway. Hi Riz :)

OK, that's it for now. Can't wait for next ep! (And no worries about this ask being long. I like getting long D20 Asks!)

#asks #farmer-10 #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #d20 #fantasy high junior year #spoilers

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slightlyaggressiveaffirmations · 1 year

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So, Slightly Aggressive Affirmer, what's your whole deal?

Great question, Clive.

(Sorry, I thought you were some sort of chat show host called Clive. Let me readjust my worldview)

Great question, friends. Why did I write Aggressive Affirmations in a consistently reliable, ritual manner for 5 years and then stop doing it and constantly keep coming back and promising to start again and never making good on it?

Well. There are actually 3 answers to that question.

Answer #1

To begin with, let's reposition our worldview - just as we did with Clive. Now, let's change the way we see me, The Slightly Aggressive Affirmer. What if we put a new filter over me - we'll call it the "Autism Filter". I haven't got the money to go through the diagnosis process but it's looking pretty likely.

With that filter on, look again at my being absolutely focused on writing affirmations for 5 years and then stopping to suddenly focus obsessively on my research work for the next 2 or 3 - except for the two months I took off to sit on the porch every single day and write a medieval romance novel.

Now I want to get back into affirming again and I try to - I still feel it's important and I keep saying to myself I'll do it - but I just don't have that obsessive drive to do it anymore.

I think if we look at this with the autism filter, it starts to paint a pretty clear picture of what might be going on here...

Answer #2

It became more and more difficult, and more high stakes to write affirmations, as the number of followers kept growing. There are now 15000 - although who knows how many of you are still on Tumblr? But that's a lot of responsibility and it became very stressful to keep making sure SAAs are for everyone and that no one feels excluded by them (excepting people who should always be excluded, like Nazis). When it was just a few random people reading affirmations, it was much easier to chuck in a few and whatever. But the more the blog grew, the greater the stress.

Answer #3

I started writing Slightly Aggressive Affirmations for myself. I was the only one following the blog and it was set to send ME reminders of my own value - in the kind of aggressive language necessary to get through to me - because I was extremely low on confidence and needed real force to get it in to my head. But then things snowballed.

Thing is - I don't need them any more. It's harder to think of the kinds of things I should write, because I know longer need them myself. I have Slightly Aggressively Affirmed myself to a really great place, in terms of my self confidence and self love. I still have bipolar, and right now my life isn't going so great, so I get depressed but I do not believe fundamentally, at my core, that I am bullshit trash.

My primary emotion nowadays is possibly worse! I'm driven by anger a lot of the time - I've got a lot of deep rage, caused by long ago trauma. (I'm in therapy, don't worry). But I think most people would agree that I'm a fundamentally different person to who I was pre-pandemic. I'll tell you more about it some time. But I am drastically different - and definitely more than SLIGHTLY aggressive most of the time.

In conclusion, I believe affirming used to be an autistic special interest of mine and now it is not - but I'd love to make it one again! Especially now my two-year long, 65 000 word research project is finished. But it's much harder to get back to where I was, because the number of followers I have now is different, Tumblr is different and I am hugely different as a person.

Thankyou for reading this short essay/memoir. I'll see what I can do about a little affirming tomorrow.

Always remember that YOU MATTER!!! YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!! YOU ARE THE ONLY FUCKING YOU IN THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD!!! THINK ABOUT HOW FUCKING MAGICAL THAT IS!!!

#admin note

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dufferpuffer · 1 month

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Do you think the whole “alpha horny werewolf” trope works with how you see Lupin and his sexual interactions? (Like are there certain times in the month where he could fit this trope? obviously he can’t do it alot of the times because of his health/strength). If so, how do you think he feels about this? Does taking a more dominant/aggressive role make him feel weird after? Does he like it? Does he feel shame? How do you think this plays out with him and his partner? How would he approach initiating sex during these times? How does it differ from how he normally behaves? (Sorry a lot of questions lol)

Erm, Ahcktually 🤓☝ wolves don't even HAVE alphas I don't like the 'alpha werewolf' angle for Remus. I think being a werewolf DOES slowly change his body - because it changes Greyback's - but Remus fights that to seem nonthreatening. I really like his movie werewolf design - because it looks like SHIT. Can't even grow a full pelt of fur… he looks weary and sick, enough that a dog is a decent fight even full of adrenaline at moon-rise.

He isn't a wolf in sheep's clothing as much as he is a sheep caught within the body of a wolf. A passive people pleaser. He never gets worked up at anyone for anything.

He pities Greyback, who bit him at 5 years old, and sympathizes with him.

He doesn't get angry at Severus for revealing his secret - he accepts it, and is so well-versed in scurrying off that his entire packing process is streamlined.

When he AGREES with Sirius' point during a heated argument he doesn't help him - because it would mean going against others in the room.

What does he do instead of argue with Harry…? He shoots one hex - and is GONE. zoom. Harry only see's the ends of his tailcoat.

That's the angriest, most emotional we see him: Coat-tails flapping around a corner while he runs off to sulk. He doesn't wanna argue, he doesn't wanna fight - even about important things. He wont stand up for people. He has no backbone.

I said all that... because Im sick of seeing buff dom Remus Because I think there is a distinction to make: I do think werewolf-brain seeps in at the edges of the Full Moon, the day or two before especially. But its not Alpha wolf. Its just Wolf. Dumb dog. Instinct. desire. Food yum. Head hurt. Sex good. He doesn't have an 'Alpha' bone in his body... apart from his partners ;) I don't think he becomes a drooling idiot (without help, anyway) but he is more likely to do what he wants. Which he never does. He always leaves the last piece of cake for someone else. Wolf brain... doesn't think of someone else. Cake yummy - I eat. It's not that he doesn't care, it's not that he is angry - its that he has stopped worrying. He isn't being dominant - just a little more insistent and shameless. I have a HC, a theory, that your Patronus is based not on who you are as a person - but who you are when you're at your happiest. Remus' is a Wolf. He hates it - I think because he hates the fact that he is happiest when he is a wolf. He stops worrying, stops being overly polite... and allows himself to just be himself, without filter.

How do I think he feels about wolf-brain...? He is so meticulous about how he acts and appears - he thinks it is embarrassing. He is always appeasing people, so forgetting that and just living in the moment feels like he is doing something wrong... Intimacy is a good time to practice being a little greedy. If he is encouraged to follow his instincts like this, and nothing bad comes of it... I think that's incredibly healing for him. Its a necessity. The more times he can let loose a bit, close his eyes and do whatever normal or weird shit comes to mind in the heat of the moment - trust that everything wont go wrong if he follows his heart... good therapy. ...Did I seriously write all this just to say 'Remus is not Alpha, Remus is Good Boy' And if you meant Alpha as in that Alpha/Beta/Omega... I have no idea, sorry. Not my cup of tea. Squicks me out along with 'soulmate' stuff.

#remus lupin #love you remus #remus my beloved #hp #headcannons #sorry this took awhile I have to do my boy justice and also I forgot it in my drafts

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dykesynthezoid · 11 months

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Cobra Kai: Femslash Ao3 Statistics

Yeah. This took a while and the results were kind of depressing. But I have graphs!

Some necessary notes/disclaimers before we get started:

- I am only human and it is inevitable there may be small errors in the data that I missed. This is a very rudimentary exploration and very little math was involved. I am not a mathematician or statistician and this is just an exercise, not a peer reviewed study (obviously).

- This is not a callout post. No one is attacking you for your writing habits specifically. This is an analysis of trends first and foremost, not a criticism of individual behaviors. If you feel yourself getting defensive while reading this, please take a step back and consider why you might be reacting that way. Also, if you say something stupid on this post, I will just block you, obviously.

- You may be thinking, “Wow, all that seems a little presumptive, why would people say stupid things on this post?” And to that I say: God I wish that were me. Unfortunately, people in fandom have a habit of being weird about femslash.

Okay. Let’s get into the numbers!

*Note: This data was gathered 6/23/23.

Firstly, we have a basic breakdown of CK’s Ao3 categories laid out in bar graph form:

As to be expected, M/M takes the lead, accounting for just under 2/3rds of all CK fic on Ao3. Granted, M/M’s popularity is no surprise when you consider the fandom’s most popular ships and the characters and relationships that feature most prominently in the show.

Now, note that these are taken from the category numbers as listed by ao3’s filter system. The number listed for F/F is 360.

However— This does not reflect the actual number of CK fics containing F/F hosted on ao3. This is because a. many authors have mistagged their works and b. the ao3 filter system is flawed, and some fics end up where they shouldn’t (the ‘Multi’ tag definitely contributes to this).

Soooo I went through CK’s entire F/F tag and counted which fics were, in fact, actually F/F.

(If you’re wondering about criteria—Firstly: they had to have a Cobra Kai character in an F/F pairing. Crossover fics with two characters of an entirely different fandom in an F/F pairing weren’t counted. There had to be at least one CK character involved in the F/F in question. Secondly: Actual textual mention of F/F, even if it’s just one tiny sentence. Literally I’d take anything. I need you to know I was NOT harsh about this, truly I was looking for “does this have F/F in any way whatsoever and is it Cobra Kai”)

The number for actual F/F fics came out to 313.

(*Note: there are some areas in this data where standards become unavoidably subjective, so there’s a necessary margin of error. Plus, your preferred methods may be different! These are just mine).

Here’s a pie chart comparing the number of actual F/F fics (313) to the total number of non-F/F CK fics (which was found using the total number of CK fics on ao3, minus actual F/F).

As depicted, F/F content comes out to 5.7% of the total CK fics on Ao3. 5.7%. That… Sure is a number!

Remember how M/M is the most popular category? I wanted to see what the data looked like if we controlled for it. In its simplest form (like, aggressively simple, this would go differently if this were a formal study), this means removing all M/M fics from the data; and dear god, note that this is not because I don’t like M/M or something (lmao), it’s just because it gives us insight into how the popularity of M/M can affect the overall breakdown of the data in question.

That being said, here’s a bar graph with CK’s Ao3 categories, now adjusted with M/M controlled:

Honestly, I found it nice that Gen fic is so popular in this fandom? You don’t see that everywhere. That being said, it’s obvious that even when we’re disregarding the most popular category (M/M), F/F still lags wayyyyy behind Gen and M/F.

(If you’re interested in more percentages: controlling for M/M, F/F makes up 10.4% of all the non-M/M CK fics).

Now that we have our overall categories data out of the way, let’s look at the breakdown of F/F specifically. This is a bar graph featuring the 6 most popular F/F ships (“popular” meaning they have more than 10 fics. I know. It’s rough out here), plus the overall number of genderbent M/M or M/F.

It’s so funny to see SamTory winning this one because I can tell you, it sure doesn’t usually feel like they’re that popular of a pairing when you’re someone who writes for them. But, considering all their canon interactions, it’s understandable why they’re the most popular F/F pairing, even if F/F overall is still underrepresented.

Our last bit of data focuses on how often F/F pairings are used as background for other ships. This graph takes the previous breakdown of the 6 most popular F/F ships, and compares it to the number of fics each pairing has where the F/F pairing isn’t just in the background.

The criteria for that: the F/F ship is a. featured prominently, b. has an impact on the plot/story, and/or c. features scenes that focus particularly on the F/F ship interacting.

(Note: in effort not to bias the data against drabble compilations, those fics are counted as long as at least one of the drabbles focuses specifically on the F/F relationship in question).

Man. Some of these are just brutal. Even Sam/Tory is cut down by almost a quarter.

Ok, so, this is all very interesting. But; what do we do with this information?

Well; I think the biggest takeaway is just that F/F is still really, really, really underrepresented in the fandom. And I think most fans would have guessed that was the case, but they might not have realized just how bad it was. While I would still expect M/M to be the most popular, given what I stated earlier, the fact that F/F is that far behind both M/M and M/F is… upsetting. Like, the discrepancy shouldn’t be THAT big. 5.7%. There are so many female characters in this show, interesting ones, who interact with each other and have complicated relationships. It doesn’t seem like it should be possible for numbers to be so extreme.

Some good news: we can always just write more F/F! I’ve been talking about potentially planning an F/F event and I’m definitely moving forward with that (let me know if you’re interested!) I’ll also soon be starting a blog to host that event and any other events that relate to F/F, basically a home for F/F CK content. If you’d be interested in helping mod that, please let me know for that as well.

Okay; thanks so much for sticking around to the end. I know that was long! Trust me, it took quite a while to write all this out.

#cobra kai #femslash #samtory #Carmanda #yasmoon #torisha #fandom stats #ck

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theamityelf · 10 months

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I feel like some of my writings have already hinted at this, but I am fascinated with the relationship between Nagito and Akane. (Not exactly romantically, although with the exception of certain heavy topics, I can ship almost anyone with almost anyone, in Danganronpa, and I am fully willing to ship them under the right circumstances.)

There's a lot going on there. I think it's as interesting as his vibes with Sonia, but also less straightforward.

Like, first of all, most examples I can readily think of in which Nagito demonstrated self respect were addressed to Akane. He asked her not to forget his name again during the introduction scene (He didn't act like it was beneath her to remember his name. I also feel like that has some relation to the fact that in UDG, when we see him as a Remnant of Despair, he very specifically denies himself a name.), and when she specifically said that she would feel better if she punched him, after trial 1, he doesn't want her to do that.

(For her part, I personally feel like Akane is more neutral toward Nagito than a lot of her classmates. She doesn't seem as consistently against him as someone like Kazuichi; she strikes me as more reacting negatively when he does something negative. Though she also doesn't seem as pro-Nagito leaning as Sonia is.)

Second of all, every time a male character (other than Nekomaru alone, as I recall) gives Akane singular attention, Nagito teases them for it. One example is, again, the introduction scene, where Nagito loudly speculates that Hajime is admiring Akane's sexy body. Then in chapter 4, when Fuyuhiko asks to speak with Akane, Nagito observes that there's a significant height difference between them. Which isn't really behavior he exhibits with the other girls. The closest would be Sonia; he's protective of her when Teruteru is creepy (and I think that's why he created a plan which would involve Teruteru dying), and he does needle Kazuichi a little when she starts to avoid him. But those are things that it makes sense to react to, whereas the Akane moments did not merit any comment. (Could be profound lack of a filter, but still a trend worth pointing out.)

When Monokuma seems to be about to kill Akane, Nagito loudly suggests that everyone accept and get over her death.

They ride the roller coaster together.

He singularly and pretty directly calls her stupid, in the wake of his discovery in chapter 4. With the exception of Hajime, who was obviously pretty important to him, Nagito hadn't been nearly as singular or direct about insulting the others. He was rude and dismissive, but not nearly that singular and direct. (And I do feel tempted to say that the way he lashes out, and how much he singles out the person at whom he's lashing out, is some kind of indicator of how he feels about them or how betrayed the revelation made him feel.) (From her side, Akane is sad when he says this, and I want to give her a hug.)

She strangles him in chapter 5 (in an effort to protect everyone from the "bombs"), at a time when he's already convinced he deserves cosmic punishment for what he's done. He suggests she torture him.

And more broadly, she's someone who's talented but not traditionally intelligent, and he has a respect for talent but I think a degree of contempt or at least condescension for unintelligence, and all of the trials placed in their path are tests of intelligence and not physical strength/flexibility or willpower, and also one time Akane said "The emptier your head, the more dreams you can fit inside!" (Which is a pretty hopeful thing to say, but I think there's at least one instance where Nagito verbally invokes the idea of hope as a means of kind of passive-aggressively saying that someone is being stupid.) She feels things passionately, and he really doesn't like engaging with most feelings.

I feel like most of the things he doesn't like to engage with, to his own detriment, are present in Akane. She feels things very honestly, and her situational intelligence isn't of a kind that he tends to hold in high esteem. I feel like, in the same way I prefer for Nagito to fall for talentless Hajime than ultra-talented Kamukura, any kind of positive relationship between Nagito and Akane would be huge for him.

#danganronpa #sdr2 spoilers #nagito komaeda #akane owari #komawari

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intermundia · 1 year

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Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I saw earlier today that you and another Obikin writer I really enjoy left/had to take a break from twitter, and I wanted to send some love. I figured this might happen because that side of the fandom has become really aggressive and uncomfortable (and frankly, really creepily fetishistic), like, legit acting like schoolyard bullies over their kinks, and I wanted to send some love and support your way. You're an amazing writer and seem like a lovely person, and I'm really sorry you were made to feel so uncomfortable and unheard by what should've been your own community. No one deserves to be forced to see their identity constantly reduced a fetish, or worse, a joke. You're not alone, and you're very appreciated.

No need to post this, but I just wanted to slide some <3 to you after a rough few days (weeks, months, etc) in the Obikin fandom.

thank you, this means more than i can really say. being trans is a source of a great deal of pain in my life, pain that i do in fact get therapy for, but i'm trapped living in an area where transition is impossible, fascists bring AR-15s to pride, and there's no way for me to live a life that is authentically my own. i'm trapped in a body that i hate and has caused me just so much pain and grief.

i have used that pain and turned it into art, writing almost 700k words of obikin stories that i've given away for free to other people, especially meant for the ones suffering like me, trying to offer them solidarity and escape. people have enjoyed them and i'm proud that i've made connections with people this way. it's healed something inside of me that i hadn't known was a wound that even could heal. i guess for the first time, i didn't feel lonely. the community has given me meaning back to my life, and i am grateful beyond words.

so many people have been accepting and kind, that i took it for granted.

i just.. obikin has been the first community where i felt seen and accepted for who i was. i love obikin so much, and obikin twitter was a site i wanted to join because i kept getting links for incredible art and wanted to just see it all myself. i met such cool people there, and have had a mostly wonderful time engaging with other people who are just as obsessed with obikin as i am.

however, there is a small community of people on that site who really, really love the kink of feminizing men, drawing them in an exaggeratedly feminine style with breasts, mpreg, and lactation, and calling him "mommy" over and over, things which make me very uncomfortable, but i strongly support their right to make the art they like.

SO i have spent literal months blocking and muting every single time i see it. i know very well that my triggers are not other people's problem. it's frustrating that sometimes when i have blocked people, it's been seen as rude by the blocked people, but the alternative is to see content that makes me intently uncomfortable, so what do they want me to do? i don't shame people for liking it, again it's a ME issue, so i've tried so hard in good faith to curate my feed.

but no matter what i do, almost every time i log into twitter, i still see untagged images of kinks that i find just really upsetting. so i asked for people to tag their feminization stuff as a courtesy so that i could effectively filter it out. i didn't demand it, just explained that it hurt and like, asked for some consideration. i just figured that idk once people realized they were inadvertently hurting others they would be kind enough to stop. we're all part of the same community, and it's what I know others in the space would be kind enough to do.

it didn't seem like that big of an ask to me. idk i'm like. genuinely hurt that people would do that and don't understand why they couldn't just either tag it or block me for asking if they didn't want to. either would have been fine! it was hard seeing the general sentiment being that people should just get over it and avoid asking for help. it felt like people were choosing to be mean instead of kind, and i felt shamed and rejected from participating with everyone else bc my trauma was inconvenient.

idk i just thought in a space for queer people to enjoy transgressive fiction there would be more understanding of the diverse needs and sensibilities of the community. i think tagging kinks is a low-energy way to help protect other people who are passionate about obikin, and it makes other people feel welcome and heard in a space that's for everyone to share.

i've been really hurt by this experience, and it's started to feel like.. if my feelings don't matter as a member of the obikin community, why am i offering thousands of hours of my time to them? as someone who writes from a place of pain rooted in my trans identity, it seems pretty unfair that they're entitled to feast on the fruit of my hurt if they don't care about me as a person at all.

tldr; i left twitter and don't think i'll be going back.

#long post #gender talk #sorry to go off but i'm like #deeply hurt to the point i want to stop writing #and writing is my coping mechanism so like #idk #why are people mean when they could be nice?

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dawn-the-rithmatist · 2 years

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A little long thing on censorship and boundaries on the internet

Okay prefacing this by saying this post is only written for tumblr and ao3. If you go beyond those I have no knowledge for you unfortunately, but maybe people can chime in in the notes.

Starting off, each person is responsible for controlling their own internet experience. We’re lucky that tumblr does not have an algorithm that forces unexpected things onto your dash (aside from blazed posts and based on your likes, but more on that later). You are in complete control of the content that appears on your dash, based on who you follow. Likewise, on ao3 you’re able to filter searches so you see what you want to see, and no one is making you click on the things you don’t. No one owes you anything with their content, aside from the ability to avoid it if you choose.

Follow up, you are responsible for making your content avoidable for people who don’t want to see it. If you’re writing the kinkiest fic out there, that’s fine. That’s yours to write and share as you wish. But you’re responsible for tagging it so that people who aren’t after that kind of material don’t see it if they want to. That way you get people who are happy to see/read your works, and people aren’t confronted with 50 Shades of Gray when they were really just looking for some PG hand holding.

Basic tags for those who aren’t used to tagging systems are whether it’s NSFW, any particular kinks, and any potential triggers (things like gore, underage, no con, suicide- if there’s an archive warning for it on ao3, it’s probably something you should tag so people can avoid it). Make sure that you spell the thing out without typos or euphemisms or @ny w31Rd $tuff that would lead to it NOT being filtered. (We don’t Unalive here, we kill, and Unalive will show up even when kill has been filtered out.)

What if someone I follow reblogs something that I don’t want to see or find problematic? If it’s something specific you’re trying to avoid, tumblr has tag filtering. You can block tags related to that thing, and it won’t show up on your dash uncensored. In case you ever want to see what’s behind that censor in spite of the tag, you’ll have the option to view it anyway- you won’t miss that the post exists entirely. If it’s something that hasn’t been tagged, it might be a good idea to (kindly!! Respectfully!!) request that the person tag it appropriately. If they refuse, you might want to unfollow them so you don’t have to see it anymore.

I unfollowed someone whose content bothered me, but my mutuals keep reblogging it so I still see it on my dash. You can block them! Then reblogs won’t show up on your dash, no matter how many mutuals reblog it. Blocking someone does nothing to them- try not to see it as something aggressive or offensive. You have the right to control what you see online, and blocking is a way to do that more effectively. You can always unblock them later if you change your mind!

Things from people I don’t follow keep showing up on my dash. This could be a couple of things. If it says “based on your likes!” or “tags you follow”, that’s something you can disable in settings (I can edit this post later with the exact locations) and tumblr won’t show you those anymore. That said, those are still subject to tag filtering, so that’s also a good approach if you don’t want those things to go away completely.

Now that blazed posts are around, there’s a chance you might get something you don’t like through that, but I’m not sure if there’s a way to filter those out. I haven’t seen a blazed post from tags I block yet, so… so far so good? If anyone knows, please chime in!!

Some content shouldn’t exist online, even if it can be blocked/filtered/avoided. This is the most important point on this post. I do think that some things shouldn’t exist online. My mother also thinks some things shouldn’t exist online. However, we don’t agree on what those things are, and we both agree that there are some cases where we would make exceptions to our rules. If we start purging content that we don’t agree with, it’s going to become a question of who is disagreeing with the content. Gotta be honest folks, in that scenario, I’m pretty sure the voices that get listened to will be straight, cis, and white.

TL;DR: Internet freedom disappears when we allow censorship, but we do still need to protect each others’ boundaries when we’re online. The best way to do that is to tag your content (no tag limits on tumblr or ao3, so don’t hold back! Only the first five count for searches on tumblr but the rest can be used for filtering blocked tags), block and filter things you don’t want to interact with, and unfollow or block people who you can’t trust to respect boundaries.

PLEASE reblog this post and add on anything you think is relevant, because this feels more relevant than ever right now <3 thanks friends

#ao3 #fanfic #tumblr #censorship #long post #<< tags that will affect searches are to the left #TO BE CLEAR. I KNOW PEOPLE KNOW THESE THINGS. BUT WE HAVE SOME NEW FOLKS AND IT’S WORTH REPEATING. JUST IN CASE #ngl every time I see someone say ‘this shouldn’t be allowed on the internet’ I get more anxiety about the future of the internet #because if we let people start banning things they’re coming after tumblr and ao3 with the wrath of a christian white suburban mother #dawn speaks

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lesbiradshaw · 10 months

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I really miss your Stucky fanfics. I hope you write them again someday. Are you not into them anymore? That’s totally okay if you aren’t. Or maybe you have just moved on to another ship? It happens. We miss you though in the Stucky world. I hope you come back someday. Sending love from your writing fans

hiiiiii. sending love back always <3

to be completely honest and answer a couple of anons i’ve gotten about this: i do still ship them and i will always love them (i still talk about them on a daily basis in dms… i will never abandon my roots) but i took a break from writing them for a couple of reasons. one of them being that of all the ships/fandoms i’ve written for, mcu/stevebucky is the one that i’ve gotten the most most discouraging amount of feedback from. which to an extent, i get, because the ao3 tag is pretty consistently updated with new stuff, but when the rare comments you get are consistently made up of passive aggressive complains from people upset you didn’t cater to their every whim with YOUR OWN STORY… well! but the main reason i took a break was because i feel like the longer we go without new content, the more people seem to devolve from who the characters actually are and what makes the ship special. no matter how many filters i add to ao3, every time i click on their tag i see something that makes me want to gouge my eyes out 😭 not to come off as dramatic but… yeah. i’d like to write again for them eventually but as of rn the fandom exhausts me more than it brings me any sense of enjoyment.

#also every time i post about steve here comes someone in the tags to bring up endgame like 😭#its not even people who dont like him. half the time its his stans. what happened to everyone ignoring that fuckass ending!#and with bucky its people just coming in to shit on all of his canon writing ever or infantilize him like he isnt a grumpy old man #anyways. maybe some of you find this relatable. maybe you dont.#i will probably return to write the occasional fic for them eventually because the brainrot is forever but. yeah #thats why i took a break 😭#steve will forever remain my favorite character of all time tho TRUST no one is taking his place

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astraltrickster · 11 months

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Thing is, there are valid criticisms to be had of this site. A lot of them. Inconsistent moderation standards even after manual review (could really stand to do at least a LITTLE more training here guys), UI "upgrades" being done under...VERY flawed theory of what counts as intuitive (hey upper management, did you know? That computers and phones are different devices controlled in different ways? And as such it's actually EASIER to have slight differences between their functionality to take advantage of the differences in how input works?), and so on. But two that I keep seeing that I...want to agree with but can't really do so are:

1) "Do something about the bots! Wait why am I banned/shadowbanned when I didn't do anything?"

I put those together because they're two sides of the same coin. They're trying to do something about the bots. Constantly. Some 99% of unjustified bans are a result of that. They have filters against the bots - and because a lot of the bots appear to be manually signed up to evade said filters, some still get through, AND the behavior filters used to identify them...sometimes identify real people. It's like how you REALLY don't want your immune system to be too strong and aggressive, because that's how you end up with an autoimmune disease and it can do anything from make you constantly sick and sore to just fucking kill you. It sucks! But it's not something they're just ignoring. Could they improve it without banning more real humans? Yeah probably...with a lot more human and monetary resources than they have.

2) "Reverse the porn ban!"

I want them to. I REALLY want them to. I wish this were possible as much as you do. But guys. Come the fuck on. The GOP is trying to straight up ban porn from the internet, as both part of their usual micromanaging of human existence and ESPECIALLY as their ongoing attempt to eradicate the queers; by declaring queer existence "pornographic" and by banning "pornography" from the entire internet...you get the picture. Don't pretend you're not familiar with the strategy; I've seen half of you reblog posts about Florida's bullshit. Most of you know about SESTA/FOSTA, and those of you who don't- go Google those, right now.

Okay, sure, as it stands, they could PROBABLY get compliant with the laws that CURRENTLY exist with the resources at hand...but imagine how bad it would look, and how bad it would SUCK for us as end users, for them to fully revert it back to "go nuts, show nuts, whatever"...

Only to have to revoke our hole rights AGAIN in two months when another bill ostensibly for ~protecting the children on the interwebs~ but ultimately just out there for the sake of sanitizing for advertisers and repressing consensual adult sexual expression gets rammed through??

As much as I want it to, I can't...actually see it happening until the course internet law is on completely reverses. It's too fucking dangerous. Write your representatives and make some phone calls instead of just begging here, in fact even if you don't care about posting hole on tumblr do it anyway because the more resistance we get to those kinds of laws, and the sooner we get it, the better.

#tumblr culture #tumblr wank #internet culture #serious tag

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pookiebeary · 6 months

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ooo i love ur spiderverss x dc thing so far, if u ever decide to write something similar maybe you could give the reader a symbiote! I think itd be interesting :0

Like a really emotional person w a symbiote who enhances their anger/emtions, i havent watched anything on the new spiderman game but after peter gets the symbiote he seems angry/aggressive. imagine that in gotham with a vigilante who refuses to kill villains that actively harm the city (and have a habit of breaking out of arkham/jail), it could be a motivation for them ultimately (not spiderman, get it?) becoming a vigilante with the symbiote & killing ppl n then have the batfam intervene. I have more idea’s/could go more indepth abt jt but i dont wanna clog ur inbox ^^

pls dont feel pressured to write anything for it :D i just wanted to share my idea bc no one in my circle has the same interests as me —🐙

Tysm! This means a lot to me!!! (I run on validation 🥺🥺)

Also YES I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOUR IDEA, I wouldn't mind if you sent something more in depth cuz honestly man that sounds amazing and it'll really help paint the picture! I'll see what I can write up when I have the time!!

Ps, I think the symbiote would have a fcking mukbang in gotham assuming reader has the "you can eat humans but only criminals" rule. Plus, can you imagine reader speaking with absolutely no filter like bully maguire or like the spiderman venom from the game 💀💀💀

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ultrabeast01symbiont · 8 months

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☆ Dragon/Bremusa ☆

✧ She/They/Mew ✧ Lesbian ✧ 23 (August 22nd) ✧

△ Art Blog △ AO3 Page △

Hiya! This is my personal blog. Most of what's on here is reblogs, with the occasional personal post sprinkled in. I've had this blog since around 2018 and I have not once changed my URL or icon, and I don't think I ever will. I like Nihilego.

You can find more about me under the cut, as well as (my attempts at a) tagging system!

Additional Info

Yes, I actively use two names! I use them interchangeably. Feel free to call me whichever one you like best.

I have both Autism and ADHD, as well as some unfun flavors of mental illness. While I am very open about my AuDHD, please do not be weird or invasive about my mental illness.

My hobbies include writing, drawing, RPing, playing video games, and taking naps.

I'm a resident appreciator of Tsumugi Shirogane (Danganronpa V3), Sara Chidouin (Your Turn to Die), Akane Kurashiki (Zero Escape), and Iris Sagan (AI: The Somnium Files). If you see posts with or relating to them, feel free to tag me!

I don't need tone indicators, but they're nice so long as you don't use unnecessary ones. /J, /S, and /LH are the only ones that I use, if at all.

I don't think that having a DNI list is all that helpful in curating your online space, so I don't have one. Instead, I block people that I don't want in my space if I see them. I'd rather bigots not engage with any of my content, but I doubt they'd listen to me, regardless...

Also, if I do block you, don't harass me trying to figure out why. 9 out of 10 times it's not personal, and the other 1 time will know exactly why I did already.

I don't give out my Discord publicly and I don't give it out to people I don't know. If you randomly ask for it, I'll block you.

I'm pretty fatigued most days and I don't always have the energy to vet the people I reblog from. A reblog is not equivalent to an endorsement of the original poster's views or anything. If you catch something weird, let me know and I'll look into it.

In general, just don't be invasive or aggressive and we'll be fine. :]

Tagging System

As of right now, only posts from 2023 onward are properly tagged. I'm very slowly working on tagging my entire blog, but... it'll take a while!

I don't tag spoilers in reblogged posts unless the media I'm reblogging is less than a month old. I tag spoilers in original content I post, though (such as memes I've made) so that people browsing the tags don't get jumpscared.

By the way, I try to tag triggering content as "(____) tw" or "(____) cw". This way, the Tumblr filtering system can catch it.

Common fandom tags:

#yttd ✰ #fate ✰ #dr ✰ #persona ✰ #genshin ✰ #ze ✰ #aitsf ✰ #hsr

Other tags:

#dragon.txt (personal posts)

#about me (posts that encapsulate my vibe)

#fave post (posts that i really like that don't fit into any other tag)

#my art (self-explanatory reblogs from my art account)

#cats (cats)

#i'm evil now (posts about villainy and treachery)

#stuck in the time loop (posts about time loops)

#yuriposting (posts about lesbian/wlw topics)

#ref (resources that i want to come back to)

#audhd moment (posts about autism, adhd, or both)

#writing related (posts about the writing and/or roleplaying experience)

#art related (posts about the artist experience)

#yeah (posts about more serious topics and statements that i agree with)

#best of (original posts of mine that have 100+ notes)

#dragon.txt #pinned post

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rainydaze-rhys · 9 months

Note

Do all 25 for borderlands. Yknow. For funsies.

There will be a readmore line here somehow because on god I’m about to say so much. let me preface: all my hot takes on the matter are a solid 4 years old at minimum, I do not keep up to date on the blands fandom, my enjoyment of the series exists exclusively in isolation these days, etc., etc., if things have changed then I simply do not know about it

1. the character everyone gets wrong

Handsome Jack. He is not a good dad. He is also not in his 30s. That man has an adult daughter and has been married twice. I refuse to believe he was anything under 50 during BL2.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

DHKDGDJSHDJDJ I sure did forget this was one of the questions. Um. My faves are all verse and no one would refuse to do one thing or another.

3. description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

I saved this for last and then still couldn’t bring myself to remember anything so this doesn’t get an answer because I simply do not want to remind myself of those takes

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

Back in my borderlands days I was afraid of blocking people so I simply did not do it. Took me until only a couple years ago to finally realize “Oh this rules and significantly improves my online experience” and now I block all the time, but this is an entirely separate blog from my borderlands one so it doesn’t have any crossover

5. worst discord server and why?

This one I can’t answer. Discord wasn’t a thing for my original dive into borderlands. We all were just on tumblr constantly and then me and a few friends also talked on Skype

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

Handsome jack/Rhys. I mean I was there. I was in the thick of it. I could see it. But oh my god the braindead takes on it and the aggressive insistence that it was basically canon! The number of people who actively harassed people who liked the actual in-game love interests! The amount of times I saw people say “I don’t personally like this so I’d rather people not discuss it around me” only to be bombarded with dozens of responses discussing it in detail! Wretched! One of the all-time worst collective cases of people insisting the biggest and most popular ship was effectively canon and getting mad at anyone saying otherwise

7. what character did you begin to hate because not because of canon but because of how the fandom acts about them?

Handsome Jack. lol. lmao.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Handsome Jack is a dogshit father and every single fluff piece or “Happy father’s day lol” post or headcanon about him being a good dad to Angel is dead wrong to an astounding degree. He put her in a cage and used her as a computer for her entire life and frankly she should have gotten to kill him

9. worst part of canon

Borderlands 3.

I was going to say “I kid” but I don’t. It has its moments, but god, it sucks so bad. Killing Maya, replacing Angel with Tannis, writing off Lilith, doing what they did with Aurelia (she would NOT fuck that man), flanderizing the characters from TftBL (Vaughn’s… whole situation…), and— god I just remembered mid-sentence that New Tales exists. That one was actually worse than BL3 somehow.

10. worst part of fanon

Handsome Jack. I’m just gonna keep saying this for basically every question that asks about the bad parts of fandom because literally… him and the people rabidly defending him. (<- he is my favorite character and also I think he deserved worse than he got. these are not mutually exclusive)

11, number of fandom-related words you’ve filtered

See above re: blocking people, I didn’t filter things at the time and on this blog I follow almost no one who posts borderlands content

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Fiona is weirdly unpopular given that she’s literally a protagonist. The same with Lilith, actually, now that I think about it; people seem to either be “meh” about her or frothing-at-the-mouth enraged about her. And they’re wrong! Fiona is a great character who deserved to actually fucking exist in bl3, and Lilith is really well written as understandably arrogant and capable! Also, Nakayama and Vasquez. I can’t take credit for being into those two because other people with extremely good taste did it first and influenced me, but it remains true. And ELLIE. I know “unpopular” isn’t strictly true of her because I think most people would say they like her, but Ellie is a gold star across every game she’s in and I wish there was even more of her and I wish people appreciated her more. Love Ellie.

13. worst blorbofication

. handsome jack.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

So many borderlands fics are a/b/o. Mpreg is like the DEFAULT. It boggles the mind. “Rhys Borderlands is Handsome Jack’s PA and then he goes into heat in his boss’s office and Jack is such a ruggedly masculine alpha he takes suuuuch good care of him!” Gives me the ick. One thing they don’t tell you about naming yourself after a video game character is the rammys when you try to read a fic and see Your Own Name in those situations.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

I actually don’t really remember the fanart well enough to say about this. I vaguely remember a lot of art of Rhys Borderlands strung up like a puppet controlled by Jack, but beyond that, I’unno

16. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing

Can I be very fully and entirely honest. I don’t love Tim. I don’t hate Tim! And I’ve turned around on him a lot, his appearance in the Handsome Jackpot DLC in bl3 is phenomenal and he’s a great character! And it’s a super interesting concept! I just still don’t love him.

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

I want more fics where Angel survives and gets out from under Jack’s influence. Let the Crimson Raiders be her new parents. I want her to be Maya’s best friend and I want her to date Gaige and I want her to be there in person to kick Jack in the dick when he loses badly and then dies.

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

The Pre-Sequel. The Pre-Sequel. The Pre-Sequel. YES the gameplay can be tedious at times. However. I love the Pre-Sequel so much. Love the writing. Adore the plot. Cherish the individual Vault Hunters. The Claptastic DLC remains one of my favorite DLCs. Love Elpis. Fucking love Janey Springs. Hate the way they left so many loose ends to be tied up plot-wise and then just kinda went “lol nvm all that” in the next game.

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

IYKYK ;)

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

A lot of the Pre-Sequel is going back and forth across very large open areas using Stingrays which are a vehicle I do not love. A lot of BL3 is also going back and forth across very large open areas using vehicles which control like the Stingrays. There are so many quests that are just “drive around and kill 30 guys and pick up 8 items then drive here and kill 30 animals and pick up 8 more items then drive back and kill 30 guys and give me the items.”

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

I don’t really think there are overhyped things unless BL3 entirely counts as overhyped, which… not anymore. Honestly most of the stuff that’s hyped is fairly understandable. The most popular DLCs are inevitably the ones which are the most well-written with interesting mechanics.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I already said the Pre-Sequel. Uh, if “everyone else” includes the writers, then TftBL, because they absolutely just threw all of that except Rhys and Vaughn in the trash and then ran those two through a meat grinder.

23. ship you’ve unwillingly come around to

No “unwilling” about ‘em, I’m usually pretty much open to whatever, but I also don’t even poke my head into the tags these days so I haven’t experienWAIT no I just remembered Zer0/Rhys is a thing. I used to not like it. I do now. Silly goofy.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

“Is it okay to like Handsome Jack?” I will not be elaborating because thinking too much about the endless debates gives me hives

25. common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing

Once again I am too disconnected from the greater fandom these days to actually know and be annoyed by what people are complaining about.

#ask game #thank you B)#ALSO uhhh #not sfw #no images or whatever but since these ask about fanfiction. well. u know.

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