#We love a mutually respectful and loving relationship

[dotthings]

Let me make this even clearer. Because Jensen and Misha both deserve better.

Given that we know they talk a lot about Destiel among themselves. They have told us, repeatedly. They've shared each other's perspectives with each other. They have an understanding.

Early misunderstandings and conflicts in pov aside (and do people want to keep circle jerking as if it's still 2014? Okay then. Have at it, but time moved on and you didn't): Jensen doesn't speak over Misha. Misha doesn't speak over Jensen.

Some things Misha has said about Dean or Destiel has resulted in Jensen stans attacking him. They always have some excuse--this past weekend it was because Misha acknowledged the idea of Dean and Cas having sex.

In the past, another example, backlash came at Misha for saying Cas saw love and acceptance in Dean's eyes.

(Which...sure does seem like the pearl-clutching about Misha's CR8 comments being too ribald is fake virtue signaling doesn't it, since even a statement from Misha wide open to platonic or romantic reading, that is 100% true about Dean, and how loving he is, how loving we know Dean is, how much we know Dean is going to accept and love Cas either way, got hatred aimed at Misha as if he had said something heinous. Tells me all I need to know about certain stans).

While Jensen's "Cas is an angel therefore his love is cosmic and unknowable impossible for humans to grasp let's not define it" and "open to interpretation" middleground to appease both sides and treading carefully for reasons, on a topic that's napalm in fandom (it shouldn't be, but that's the reality), might be construed as speaking over Misha.

But here's the thing!!! It's not!! From either of them!!

It seems very obvious by now that they decided Misha would be the loud one, with Jensen holding his cape, even if he doesn't join in , and Jensen walking a diplomatic middle line, also with Misha's understanding and support in turn.

When Misha goes off boldly about Destiel? People need to kick out that hate fantasy about Jensen being disrespected and Jensen must be wanting to punch Misha and Jensen must be so mad at Misha how dare Misha out of their heads, or get to the point where they can comprehend the difference between their own feelings vs Jensen's and quit projecting.

They didn't shut each other out. They talked about Destiel. They listened to each other. Highly likely, in fact, that they helped each develop or refine their talking points.

Neither of them has been shooting off their mouth about the other's character without having spoken to each other.

I don't have any hope for fans to stop the endless fighting and concern trolling and attacking either Jensen or Misha over it, needlessly, perpetually, but when it comes to Jensen and Misha...that's a hopeful space.

Misha's bluntness vs Jensen's carefully chosen middleground words complement each other are not in fact oppositional takes--they complement each other, there's room for both. They both know it's a mutually loving relationship.

Neither is trampling on the other's pov, and any views that don't perfectly align, they've already discussed and they respect each other.

These accusations at either of them are not true, they are not fair, and they both deserve better.

And now I'm staring right at a recent thing where Misha full on absolved Jensen of an accusation that various lanes kept throwing at him, and still weaponize, including Jensen stans who claim to be defending Jensen, because they want it to be true.

The response was manufactured drama where people called Misha a liar and doubling down.

They'd rather Jensen take the fall and they'd rather call Misha a liar than believe a soulless corporation that has been caught more than once exercising queer censorship could have committed queer censorship in a TV industry where it's common knowledge that queer censorship by broadcast TV networks happen???????

Wow gee can you feel the love in this Chili's. Great going. Excellent defense strategy. You're really such a big help. With fans like these, Jensen and Misha don't need antis.

A lot of it is agenda driven, and some anxiety driven, every lane's worried about other lanes react, because spn fandom is always a pain in the neck that way. Some people hate Destiel so much they need Jensen to be their antidestiel warrior they'll throw Jensen under a bus and stan for the corporation, or they're so anxious about how Destiel gets treated they blame Jensen and forever hold against him his past foot in mouth about the ship (which was a long time ago. Please stop punishing him endlessly when he's moved on and his perspectives are respectful, yet you're still stuck back there) rather than comprehending the actual systemic factors.

Jensen and Misha are both doing what they can to make it better.

They are trying to fix it!!!

People should show them more respect!!!!

#Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #Destiel

[woundgallery]

I don't submit many poems for publication, but I am truly delighted that this old piece found a home in a beautiful volume of Prairie Schooner. I wrote this in April 2016, when I was re-emerging from the most deadening period of my life. As much as this poem, on the surface, is about heartbreak, it is much more about the gift of opening myself once again to communion with others and communion with the mystery of our fragile, interconnected world. The person I wrote this for took me by the hand and--with gentleness and understanding--helped me put aside weariness and remember that the world was a place that could still surprise me with a beauty that surpasses explanation, that cannot be neatly explained and shut away. Though it's been years since we have spoken, I am forever grateful for him.

And, as spring quickens in New York City, I am grateful once more to reflect on all I would have missed if I had not made it through the gauntlet of 2015. I would never have met my cat (and love of my life) Willa who wakes me each morning by wildly purring, head butting me like a baby goat, and nibbling my cheeks and nose because she’s just so happy to see me; hiked on Orcas Island with Michael and found a surprise lake which we named Lake Ineffable (because no name was beautiful enough for it) where we stripped off our clothes and swam and embraced each other, blissfully alone and dazed by superfluous beauty; found out that George Washington National Forest may have more fireflies than anywhere in the world; grown into my vocation as a social worker and been blessed to sit in communion with my clients for eight years; built a beautiful relationship with my parents based on mutual respect, affinity, and humor; seen my friends’ babies discover the world; slept beneath a meteor shower sky on a NYC beach in the arms of a man I was suddenly and entirely falling in love with; discovered Eric Rohmer; discovered Wim Wenders;  moved to Laramie, Wyoming where everything looks like the abandoned set of a Western film where the paint has flaked off but he extras are still wandering around despondently; moved to Montana where I remembered that I am part of the whole, not just a body in passing; woke in Missoula to the cold air seeping through my window—still half in a dream of Oregon in October—and stirred, deliciously alert beside the boy I loved, craning toward his sleepy, freckled back, to clutch him closer, the brisk quickening of fall making my body a new thing—wild and tender and alive; swam naked in the ocean; had the chance to work with my best friends and fall even more in love with the people they are based off the kindness they showed our clients; had my best friends, in turn, respect and love me more based of what they saw me showing clients; sat by a lake at night and felt an earthquake swell like a heartbeat beneath my body; drove from Missoula to Washington, Ryan’s van weaving through a forest fire zone until we reached the pure, amnesiac sweep of the Pacific; discovered Simone Weil; been, not only forgiven, but embraced by the person I most wronged after six years of estrangement; made up a silly-serious shared mythology with Steven about a vulture God named Hamm who watches over us with a severe equanimity; backpacked through Olympic National Park with Michael and seen and been seen by the strange shaggy haired deer and rabbits who looked at us without fear; discovered Agnes Martin; read poetry with my sage & strange Mara; discovered Olivier Messiaen; discovered Mary Ruefle; discovered Ana Mendieta; realized that I like the color yellow; moved to New York City; discovered Carol Rama; learned how to enjoy dancing to music other than punk rock; seen a moose in the wild; spent a summer in that yellow shotgun house with the overgrown yard and the porch overlooking the river where we made dinner each night listening to recordings of bird calls; experienced the delights of solitary sunbathing on Brooklyn roofs; encountered places named Hellgate, Bitterroot, and Rattlesnake; recited The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock at 3 AM, wading in the waters of the Long Island Sound; realized I am capable of keeping houseplants alive; heard the thrumming ecstasy of the grouse's wings; learned the name of those clustered, mustard-colored flowers that grow on the Oregon coast; grew grateful for beauty again, remembering the world is not a place I can neatly explain, cannot fold in linen and shut in a drawer; and, most of all, remembered the daily ways we concede—plainly, without theatrics—to live.

Today I am thankful for those who love me and those who allow me to love them.

#poetry #suicide #gratitude #love #love poems #vincent van gogh #my writing #prairie schooner #personal #text #yellow #but all love is uneven

[fadedrainbowbookshelves]

When your husband reminds you he's actually gorgeous.

#welcome home #welcome home fanart #frank frankly #eddie dear #Drag!Eddie Dear #eddie x frank #frank x eddie #He's absolutely speechless. #Pretty dress impeccable makeup curly hair glam style #His husband is so pretty!! Is it possible to get flustered by someone you're married to? #Eddie being appreciated in his interests whether craft/mail/drag by Frank is god tier #We love a mutually respectful and loving relationship #Bow stop drawing this!! You say. #You'll have to pry my off-brand apple pen out of my cold dead hands I reply #I won't repeat the words I said while trying to draw makeup on the face of a gdmn puppet #unaffiliated with the incredible creation of welcome home i'm just a fan having fun!

[zeb-z]

etoiles who tries to be patient and tries to be kind and tries to help bad in his state of memory loss and confusion after purgatory, but still can’t help be suspicious of him. who works around how well he knows bad, because he knows bad is a liar, but he doesn’t say as much he just quietly puts in his own tests and precautions to gauge properly what level of fucked bad’s head is. who won’t stop reminding him of purgatory. does he remember the eggs? does he remember his home? does he remember how he slaughtered his friends ruthlessly over and over and over again? does he remember jaiden? charlie? does he remember how defenseless etoiles was when he stabbed him in the back? etoiles who knows how bad feels just by body language, who used to have the upmost respect and trust for his friend, his ally, his brother in arms - now holds him at arms length even at his most vulnerable.

something about etoiles asking what bad is hungry for, offering to fight (wanting to fight, now that the ground is even, now that he’s not defenseless, after bad had killed him when he was), and bad going “fight? why would I fight you, I thought we were friends?” and all etoiles can do is scoff. something about how even the most honorable and most patient have limits. something about how the consequences for bads actions - to himself and to others - are all finally compounding. how etoiles and bad’s relationship is forever changed by what happened in purgatory, and etoiles may still extend his hand to help him, give him strategies to remember things, but he’s doing so with a bitterness and a resentment.

things won’t be the same. things will never be the same. and the way etoiles can’t help bad without being sharp and angry about it proves this. because two weeks ago bad was family - and now, at bads worst, his most afflicted, most vulnerable, sure etoiles still offers help, and is more level headed than most about it, but he is in no means gentle or kind. he doesn’t want to help him. and that says everything.

#idk man. etoiles reaction not being ‘oh poor bad’ but being startled and then ‘oh of fucking course he’d just forget everything’ is telling #like we knew purgatory wasn’t gonna be forgotten. especially between red and bad specifically. but for it to show through etoiles first #to see etoiles genuinely bitter and resentful and taking no stock nor trust in what bad is saying or showing. yeah. Yeah #like. etoiles helping. he still cares a little. he’s not gonna leave bad to fend for himself he’s gonna help because that’s what he does he #helps #but it’s like. etoiles is saving him with a resentment because he knows bad wouldn’t do the same #(as far as he’s concerned at least. from what purgatory has shown him at least) #or not saving so much as helping to correct my phrasing a little bit jfjskfkrk #idk the fact that it’s etoiles out of everyone back so far. the fact that it’s etoiles and bads relationship that’s in shambles #out of all the friendships and mutual trust and respect and love #like. yeah. yeah. purgatory won’t just be forgotten. as much as bad has forgotten no one else will forget #mcyt #qsmp #q!etoiles #q!bbh #z speaks

[redrobin-detective]

Back to watching Elementary again, another aspect of the show I enjoy is Sherlock’s open adoration and appreciation of Watson both as a person and a fellow detective. I think that’s something that has been lost in a lot of Holmes adaptions - started mainly by the Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce movies - of Watson being a comedic foil to Holmes, an inept bungler that Sherlock puts up with.

I feel like even in adaptions that have Holmes/Watson having a good relationship, there is this sense of exasperation coming from Holmes about some of Watson’s behaviors (BBC and RDJ come to mind). In Elementary, once Sherlock accepts and embraces his love for Watson, he never really backs down from it. We rarely see him frustrated with her, and if so it’s because of her actions not personality clashes. He knows he’s weird and obnoxious and adapts to Watson’s habits without making a big eye rolling deal out of it.

#cbs elementary #i dont think I'm explaining myself well #but like elementary sherlock LIKES his watson #and even when he is frustrated with her its not like a 'ugh watson you moron' #its always from a place of love and concern #idk we were talking in sherlock club a few weeks ago on how the sherlock/watson relationship has changed over adaptions #how some believed holmes being fondly exasperated of watson was part of the charm #but i argued even in the books holmes treats watson like his lil buddy #he fucken loves solving mysteries and going to the opera with him #he isn't as accomodating as Elementary Holmes (an improvement) but he genuinely cares for watson #idk something something mutual respect and acknowledging someone asthey are without fanfare #im very tired rn idk why i felt the need to put this into words

[coquelicoq]

the thing they don't tell you about reading the entire dictionary aloud is that spending that much time caressing words in your mouth may lead you to form sensual, perhaps romantic associations with the act of speech. the words become more fully themselves on my tongue. i use my body to bring them to life. this, too, is yuri

#giggling and twirling my hair at the dictionary: ....and then what #i think i already was like this before i read the dictionary but it's hard to say. i do definitely think of individual words as #my friends or enemies and that's always been true to some extent. but now some of them are also my lovers #new ask game give me a word and i'll tell you what kind of relationship we have #here's a freebie: freebie. kind of obnoxious but doesn't rise to enemy level. i'm just sort of like oh freebie is at this party? #okay i will stand on the other side of the room so that we only cross paths once or twice and maybe kind of #comically grimace at each other in mutual forbearance. no love lost but we do basically respect each other #<-this is not a metaphor for whether i use the word freebie or how i feel when someone says the word freebie btw #it's just like...synesthesia. but for vibes? #fun with words #lecture du dico #my posts

[noireisnocturnal]

Oh deer~

(I can't find a good gif right now, but specifically the hallway where he's reaching both sides and threatening Husk. Yeah that)

#i am not immune #to the demon deer #but only in a very specific way #yeah im working through this #ugh #yeah no please stop trying to redeem the cannibal #or try to make them suddenly want a relationship #ill be your friend in a mutual respect kind of way #we can hang out and talk shit about Susan #does angel blood taste like honey or steel? #hazbin hotel #alastor #would love to have a drink with him #neat or on the rocks for you?

[surferboypizza-argylespeaking]

Their first kiss happens one evening at Jonathan’s house. They are in his bedroom and Jonathan wanted Argyle to hear this band he was really into. They are sitting on the floor by Jonathan’s speakers. They had just shared a joint. Argyle is doodling on Jonathan’s skateboard.

Jonathan is lost in the music. Argyle isn’t super into the first track on the record but he is enjoying seeing Jonathan get into it.

It isn’t until the fifth track starts that Jonathan speaks and says this one is his favorite. He turns the volume up a little louder. Argyle puts the board aside to give all of his attention to Jonathan. The opening notes are softer than the previous tracks. And Argyle has no idea what the woman singing is saying but he is enjoying it much more than others. He watches Jonathan for a bit. His eyes are closed and there is a content smile on his face. Argyle doesn’t even think the music swells along with his heart and he leans in to kiss Jonathan.

Jonathan eyes open and he has a look of surprise on his face but that passes quickly as a large smile breaks out on Jonathan’s face. He reaches out to Argyle and kisses him back with everything he’s got.

Argyle may not like Cocteau Twins as much as Jonathan and he doesn’t understand a word of what she is singing. But Pearly Dewdrops Drops will forever be one of his favorite songs.

#i’m living in my jargyle world i created #jargyle #argyle #jonathan byers #listen I love Cocteau Twins and I have no idea what that song is about but it feels like one of the most romantic songs in the world #I have so many feelings about jargyles relationship just being so deep rooted in gentleness and respect for one another and how music is #the beating heart of their whole relationship #and I could easily have these where Argyle rambles like we see him do occasionally in the show but I feel like at a certain point there is #a mutual understanding of when this is a fun shoot the shit moment and when is a moment where hey I am going to show you a piece of my soul #you know? Jonathan takes music so seriously and I think Argyle knew that he just needed to listen while Jonathan shared this with him

[agent-sarahwalker]

Anna! If you really are leaving this blog, I just wanna say thank you! Thank you for the all the entertainment you provided! From those chaotic uswnt and orl pride games to wlw media and of course the legendary masterlist! Your blog was somewhere I would go to when I wanted a pick-me-up. You’re a true legend ⭐️

Thank you so much!!!!

#as silly and parasocial as it may seem i am having a real hard time dealing with this #I've looked up to them as inspiration for any relationship and I believed in their mutual respect and love #so receiving this message is actually so nice bc we spent so many years in this little corner of the internet and i had a great time

[aeide-thea]

the thing abt this website (and really, every other website and also people irl) is that you'll be introduced to a new person who seems interesting (read: has some stuff to say that you agree with), and you'll think, ooh, maybe i should follow them! and then you'll check out their blog and realize, oh, fuck, right, they're the same person who was advocating 'systematic and targeted online harassment' of people who spread a message they dislike, as though that were either an acceptable way to behave or, for that matter, an effective way to convince anyone of anything—like, hello, if you harass your enemies they will shut their ears to you and become further entrenched in their current positions! also decent people will see what you're doing and distrust you even if your cause would otherwise earn their sympathy!

#and like. it's not a group or message i endorse either! that's not the point! #anyway tbd bc this IS vagueblogging it's just like. very frustrating #i very much want to like and respect people! wish they'd let me! #(a problem with the internet is that you run into dealbreakers much faster than you can build real bonds with people) #(and so you don't forge the kinds of relationships where you can say‚ hey‚ love you but that thing you said was pernicious actually!) #(so you just quietly unfollow‚ or don't follow in the first place‚ and no one learns anything from anyone else #that isn't already dreamt of in their existing philosophy) #(love my internet pals to bits but it really is like. in many cases we're not proper talk-things-out friends) #(and where we are‚ that's really developed in spite of the prevailing internet culture‚ i feel like‚ not because of it) #(like everyone talks this big dramatic game about Mutuals but so many of those [non-]relationships are really‚ like‚ mutually parasocial) #(they like your posts and you like theirs but nary a word is ever exchanged) #(so you don't get any practice at finding middle ground and figuring out what areas of disagreement you can push back at) #(you just either always-already-agree or silently part ways) #(anyway. these tags took a turn lmao) #(i'm just very conscious that this aspect of internet culture is not serving me) #(but like. what do you do about it?) #(still follow the person you think said something totally wrongheaded bc irl you wouldn't have been aware they'd said it?) #(maybe that IS where you start but like. then you end up with a dash that stresses you the fuck out‚ probably! so that's not the end of it. #(anyway.) #(sigh.)

[countess-of-edessa]

there’s a specific catholic woman instagram influencer who keeps getting shown to me who i just want to take by the shoulders and shake. soulmates aren’t real and it’s stupid for catholics to think that, sorry

#does God have a plan for your life and might He send you a spouse? yes #but for a Catholic to believe that God made one person to be our life partner and he did it for everyone who is called to marriage and we #ARE going to meet that person and marry them is both irresponsible and also dumb as hell #like. did God just come up with this idea in the 19th century when people started considering love as something to prioritize in a marriage #all the women before then just didn’t get soulmates? #do people's soulmates get aborted? is that why so many women don’t have husbands when they want them? #she also is like GIRLS. don’t worry about waiting and worrying that you’re never going to find someone. i didn’t meet my husband who was #also my first kiss and my first date until i was 23!?!?!?! so trust in God #and like im happy for her and that doesn’t really matter to me that much but like #do you think that plays well for women in their thirties lol #i know it doesn’t cause they’re in her comments haha #how is the idea that God made one person out there for you and will allegedly put him in your path whenever He decides is right #more of a comforting idea than “there are multiple people out there I can be compatible with and eventually love #and choose to be in a relationship of commitment and mutual respect and goals and we can get to heaven together.” #especially when you’re an unmarried woman who is like thirty five #our souls do not mate there is no marriage in heaven

[raethethey]

i feel like my friends are ghosting me..

#my partner and i stopped dating so theyre my ex now #but it was mutual and we talked and we're still good friends #it was literally so logical too like im asexual theyre very much not #im very romantic they think theyre aro or at least demiro #we we're on opposite sides of the spectrum #and they just couldn't develop long lasting romantic feelings for me and i was okay that #still am #just bc you dont love romantically doesnt mean you cant love #but they just liked me as a friend and i respect that #plus i myself was debating the continuation of the relationship due to this a month before they brought it up #im an overthinker thats the only reason it took so long #main point: they were kimda my link to this certain group #of really great ppl! i love them a lot #and they talk to me and think of me #but i never get invited to hang outs #i see texts in the group chat that say “cant make it have fun tonight” #and i have no idea what theyre talking abt #i feel ghosted #and i really hope its not bc me and this person stopped dating #bc ive made sure they all know it was mutual and we are still friends #its literally just the same but no kissing or holding hands anymore #like nothing really changed yk? #i get theyre closer that's not an issue #but im friends with them too #a larger friend group hangout and i dont even hear of it #im not trying to say i should be privy to all plans no #im just saying as a friend i feel left out #longevity of friendships shouldn't matter in that kind of situation #right? #am i just being a pissy boy?

[maggiecheungs]

#rock it mom #cdrama #screencaps #missues #we love to see a mother-daughter relationship based on extreme violence & zero chill & a complete lack of mutual respect <3

[artsy-dreamer]

…gonna answer that anon ask in the tags of this post

#because if I’m being honest… I don’t think I can bear to have the actual ask on my blog 😅 #…but anyway 👍 just because brotps are important to me doesn’t mean I think #that romantic relationships aren’t important… I’m not saying everyone has to see #certain relationships in the same way I do- not at all! it’s fine if you don’t personally #agree with all my opinions- everyone is gonna see things differently and have #different likes and dislikes and all that… as long as we respect each other’s opinions #and don’t harass people for having different opinions or any of that nonsense #that being said I do like ships I just don’t post them on main- I have a sideblog for that #some of my mutuals aren’t really into shipping and I want them to be comfortable here and all that #some pairs I prefer platonically and some I prefer romantically and not everyone will agree #which is fine I just wanna be free to enjoy what I like… though one thing I can agree with #is that you don’t really have to care about canonicity if you don’t want to #you don’t have to ship something even if it’s canon- not everyone wants to have ships anyway #and if a ship isn’t canon- even if it has ZERO chance of being canon- you can still ship it if you want #it’s all fiction anyway and fandom is about having FUN! and that’ll look different for everyone #love canon? have fun with it! don’t love canon? throw it out and do what you want! #love ships? that’s cool! don’t love ships? that’s cool too! as long as everyone’s having fun #personally I just REALLY love platonic content and I’m a big advocate for it #cuz ships are cool and all but fandom is FLOODED with them and it’s hard to find #good platonic content when you want it a lot of the time… and not everyone is #comfortable with shipping- and non-shippers deserve to enjoy fandom too! #anyway uhhh… yeah 😅 I guess I had a lot to say about that one

[the-most-pathetic-edge-marquis]

.

#thinking about the lineup of my exes is very strange #1 is literally so cool #got out of our small town to live the life in new york they always dreamed about #i'm sad we don't talk more but i'm so so happy for them #things ended badly bc we were both of each other's first serious relationship & both going through a Lot being queer in a tiny town #& high school sucked #but in hindsight we both grew so much and it's just bittersweet #and i love them a lot #2 is complicated #we still talk and hang out whenever we're in the same state #but we can't actually be more than friends bc our futures and our plans and deep down our personalities i think just don't line up #and we both know that #so we're decent friends and i respect her a lot #and then 3 is like. #oh that's an ACTUAL garbage bag of a human being #i can't believe i ever dated her #hung out with her over my break and like. goddamn #she's so petty and mean #and so convinced that she's The Protagonist TM #she got so offended at the fact that i hung out with one of our mutual friends #who is genuinely like one of my best friends??? and i put a lot of effort into maintaining that relationship when he moved for grad school?? #and i KNOW she didn't bc he's complained abt it to me! #but she literally said 'i can't believe he would hang out with YOU and not ME' to my face #plus this time i just really Really noticed how rude she is to like. everyone #like waitresses and tire repair guys and her literal tattoo artist #maybe not rude just entitled but Still #also she's one of the only people in my life who's ever really pressured me to drink #despite knowing full well why i don't #and then did it again this time! #ugh

[orcelito]

Gravity rush 2, aka

Emo girlfriend/boyfriend simulator

#speculation nation #the game was like 'we have to hurry before it wakes up!!!' #and i was like 'wait a moment this is the first time fi and raven are in the same place and i HAVE to take pictures' #anyways Kat and Raven r basically canon. in the game and fandom. #but i also love her and Fi. a relationship built on mutual respect. #sometimes a relationship can be a bubbly girl and her two emo partners. #and it's beautiful. i Love the camera option in this game.