#We all have decades of unlearning to do | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pibsboots · 3 months

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I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

#chronic illness #chronic fatigue #chronic pain

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pezpenser205 · 5 months

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do people not realize that the reason for sex segregation in a lot of sports where it doesnt make sense is because men didnt want to get their asses beat by a woman. thats why segregated chess is a thing. they arent segregating sports to protect women theyre segregating sports so they can throw women against eachother in inferior and less popular womens leagues so the guys wont have to lose against a girl thats at an equal skill level and then saying its to protect women as an excuse to get the women to agree to be segregated.

everybody just nods and agrees that women are inherently weaker and that this helps women actually because theyre weak and fragile. all the people in charge use the same excuse to kick out female minorities they deem to be "too strong" or having "too much testosterone" to be in the womens league while ignoring the same abnormalities in cis white perisex women, thus barring a lot of poc, trans and intersex people from competing in their sport of choice at all.

womens sports being separate from "real sports mens sports" is the most insulting and sexist thing why are people still acting like its about womens safety. you could fix this by making people compete against eachother based on skill level but people sincerely believe that women are weaker than men. its absurd.

"boys are stronger than girls" is shit you unlearn when the tall girl in your class beats the 3 strongest guys at arm wrestling in middle school and humiliates them or when your PE group is sorted into boys and girls for tug of war and the boys and girls win equally as much as eachother. how do these people not realize that "women are always weaker than men" is sexist as hell and has set feminism back like 2 decades. the powerpuff girls was on this topic in the 90s. are we stupid. are we really that far gone. have we moved that far back as a society. ooga booga women weak men strong. grug want transgenders dead. grug hate bud lite and love tucker carlson.

rant over im exhausted

#op

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bengiyo · 8 months

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The Knowing: Being Queer in BL

I’ve been talking about The Knowing a lot lately with @lurkingshan @waitmyturtles @ginnymoonbeam and @shortpplfedup and so I felt it was time to gather all those thoughts into one place.

I define The Knowing as “growing up and suffering with the knowledge that you are queer (specifically that you are not like other kids) and understanding that you must keep that knowledge to yourself.”

Part of what initially drew me to BL was how often many of these shows took place in what @absolutebl calls “The Bubble” where cultural and structural homophobia is less prevalent or nonexistent. Many of these stories are about guys learning something about themselves for the first time when it comes to being attracted to other men. However, I always find myself drawn to the characters that clearly Knew who they were a long time ago. What’s interesting about these characters is that many of them carry an intense sadness and loneliness that plagues them and their relationships.

I am in my mid-30s. I’ve had to unlearn a lot of language over the decades. When I first realized I was different from other kids I was eight years old. I was a lot like Chiron in Moonlight (2016) asking the question, “What’s a faggot?” I wish I’d had someone like Juan around to say, “A faggot is a word used to make gay people feel bad.” To which Chiron asked, “Am I a faggot?” and Juan quickly corrected. “Nah. You can be gay, but you ain’t gotta let nobody call you no faggot.” I know it’s hard for some of you to read slurs written out so plainly, but I grew up with them being part of the day-to-day language used by kids around me. If you instinctively recoiled at me typing the word four times, imagine experiencing that constantly for your entire adolescence while also fearing the consequences of being discovered by your peers. That’s what I survived. That’s what some of these boys survived.

Before I learned other words, I thought I was weird or broken. I knew I was drawn to boys before I even hit puberty, but I didn’t have language for existing on the ace-spectrum until I joined Tumblr in the early 2010s. Before that I just thought there was something wrong with me. When we see a character in BL who has clearly been gay for a long time, I find myself examining the environment around them to see if they suffered The Knowing.

The worst part of The Knowing is for the boys who can pass as straight if they try hard enough. I always talk about how I think femmes are stronger than those of us (like me) who can pass. They face the public scrutiny of being queer and the danger of that constantly. People like me often go unnoticed unless we’re amongst our peers or explicitly tell people who we are.

I’m writing this post as a love letter to the boys who suffered the Knowing. Sometimes these characters get a bad reputation in fandom for being boring or sad sacks, but they are the characters I love the most. I’d like to talk about some of my favorite boys who Knew. Unsurprisingly, the exact kind of melancholy Japan is willing to play with means they have strong presence on this list.

Korn (Until We Meet Again)

Korn is the character who began my discussion about this in a conversation with @wen-kexing-apologist about Kao’s acting. I pointed out that the saddest thing about Korn in Until We Meet Again is that he knew what he was going to do the entire time. The tragedy of UWMA is that Korn loved Intouch and let him in, and unfortunately learned that Intouch’s love couldn’t fix the horrors that plagued him. You can see it in Kao’s eyes for the entire show whenever we see the In and Korn flashbacks. He suffers under the weight of masculine expectation and crumbles.

The Entire Cast of What Did You Eat Yesterday?

WDYEY is all about characters who Knew. Kenji and Wataru may have been unable to pass and have chosen to accept who they are, but we know Wataru suffered for it because of his feelings about family. Shiro hid who he was for a very long time, and still hides it from most people. His trauma from The Knowing regularly threatens his relationship with Kenji. Kohinata also clearly knew who he was the entire time, and works diligently for the life he’s built for himself. So much of this show is about being gay in a world that does not value us.

Book, Christina, and Yok (Make It Right)

Book is actively victimized because of The Knowing. He left his previous school and doesn’t live with his family because he was outed by a past boyfriend, and is disowned after revenge porn of him is posted.

Both Chrstina and Yok are femme and cannot pass. Unlike many of the boys in this show figuring out who they are, they are trying to survive without losing themselves.

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)

Li Ming has a gay uncle and still suffers The Knowing. He is hiding his attraction from everyone until he develops feelings for Heart.

Itou Akira (Life: Love on the Line)

We experienced the entire arc of this man’s life and how much The Knowing crushed him. This is probably the most The Knowing character on the list.

Oumi Mitsuru (Eternal Yesterday)

Oumi has such a frank expression of The Knowing and how much it hurts that he likes Koichi but feels like he can’t express it.

Takahashi Satoru (Koisenu Futari)

The man literally blogs about The Knowing, and it’s how Sakuko began to understand herself. He has a questionnaire prepared to help you figure out how long you’ve Known.

Ren (Tokyo in April Is…)

I wrote multiple posts about Ren and his experience with The Knowing. So much of what goes wrong for them is because Ren couldn’t believe that Kazuma could like him, too, and he knowingly faced the consequences of being discovered to save Kazuma’s life.

Pete (Love by Chance)

Pete knows who he is and can’t change it. Trump uses this against him. Pete doesn’t want Ae to be gay like him and suffer with the realities of being a Known Gay. Pete has one of the first coming out scenes in BL that I really enjoyed.

Cairo (Gameboys)

Cairo was clearly struggling with Knowing, and his close friend took his coming out from him. Cairo is a brat, but goddamn do I appreciate some of his angst.

See-eiw (My Only 12%)

He watched The Love of Siam (2007) and had a complete emotional breakdown as he was finally able to name his feelings for Cake. Top-tier expression of The Knowing.

Shin (3 Will Be Free)

I mean, we don’t have to look much further than his entire sad existence and being pushed into sex with a prostitute in the first episode. Also there’s, “It wasn’t that you didn’t like boys. You just didn’t like me.” Shin is the only boy in BL-adjacent media to suffer a specific version of The Knowing: being rejected and discarded by your own people in a homophobic way so they could stay closeted.

Phupha (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Phupha’s entire romantic angst is built around The Knowing and what others seeing him for who he is will do for him.

Pran (Bad Buddy)

Though Bad Buddy exists in The Bubble, Pran has one of the most painful versions of The Knowing I’ve ever experienced because his is wrapped up in family angst and an unrequited crush.

Lee Wan (Our Dating Sim)

Lee Wan suffered The Knowing and broke things with his best friend after confessing. The Knowing destroyed his ability to see a version of his life where he and Shin Kitae overcame the upcoming challenges together and so he takes that choice from Kitae. Crushing.

Ueda Minoru (Our Dining Table)

Minoru is so familiar with The Knowing that he preemptively breaks up with Yutaka after kissing him.

Kiyoi (My Beautiful Man)

The reveal that Kiyoi already knew who he was and noticed Hira the entire time? Beautiful. One of the best reveals in J-BL history.

Minato (Minato’s Laundromat)

This man is one of the sadder examples of The Knowing because he’s in a place where he understands who he is now, but the internalized homophobia cripples almost all of his romantic and closer relationships.

Han Baram (Sing My Crush)

This boy is suffering so much from The Knowing that his love confession song is literally titled “Letter of Apology.”

Oh-aew (I Told Sunset About You)

He Knew. “Are you proud of me?”

Noh Shinwoo and Shin Daon (Light On Me)

Noh Shinwoo clearly suffered The Knowing and was discovered. His bullies still plague him on the streets when they see him. Shin Daon was not surprised by his attraction to Woo Taekyung; he struggled with his parents expectations.

Nagisa (His: I Didn’t Mean to Fall in Love)

Nagisa definitely Knew who he was and was probably going to stay quiet about it until Shun showed up in his life. What upsets me so much about Nagisa is that he is the one who leaves Shun later in the movie after pulling queerness out of Shun.

The Secret Crush on You Quartet

All four of them get a spot on this list for The Knowing. Toh, Kaojao, and Daisy clearly suffered The Knowing, and Som has clearly taken care of them for a long time.

Rocky and Judah (Quaranthings)

I love that these two explore The Knowing from a class perspective. Judah is wealthier and eventually comes out, but Rocky is poor and struggles with it a lot longer.

Han Tae Joo and Kang Gook (Where Your Eyes Linger)

The Knowing, bodyguard edition. The yearning between the two of these is palpable. It hurts that they can’t even talk to each other about it.

Mafuyu (Given)

He Knew and lost his boyfriend to The Knowing.

Kim Dong Hee (Unintentional Love Story)

He won’t acknowledge Go Ho Tae’s feelings because he feels a sense of loyalty to Ho Tae’s mom for taking care of him after his parents disowned him over the gay thing. Huge case of The Knowing.

Edit: New Additions October 7, 2023.

Nekoyashiki Mamoru (Kabe-Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized)

He describes a textbook case of the Knowing and finding community at the convention.

Zo (Hidden Agenda)

He definitely Knew, and got messed over by his friends badly for it.

Yuuki (Me, My Husband, and My Husband's Boyfriend)

We almost lost Yuuki to the Knowing.

All of the Eclipse Gays

Literally all of them. The entire show is about how fascism turns queer people into agents working against their own community.

Joe (The Warp Effect)

He clearly Knew before his encounter with Army, and he also suffered for being outed.

#Ben writes #The Knowing #too many shows to tag #what did you eat yesterday?#until we meet again #bl series #thai bl #japanese bl #korean bl #filipino bl

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intersectionalpraxis · 4 months

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I just emailed the United Nations Women's Office in Geneva, Amnesty International, Oxfam Canada, and Doctors Without Borders (MSF) about the lack of period care in Gaza. It is frustrating to see that international organizations have not set up a fund specifically to help Palestinian people who need this. Having one resource to help with this shortage, Motherbeing, is not enough for millions of people.

Period care is health care. I don't want anyone to tell me that emailing international organizations about this is either silly or not important because not having adequate access to this can cause serious health ramifications -from infections to illnesses and later reproductive health issues.

Pregnant women in Gaza are also continually suffering right now -of the thousands of women that were supposed to give birth over these past few months -they have not had safe and consistent access to care during their trimesters. I have spoken about this before -but we need to keep amplifying this issue as well.

Women's health in Gaza has been under under crisis for a while now, and we KNOW this is part of a zionist's larger agenda -to attack women and children especially because they see them as some of the greatest threats. So please do what you can -send those emails, call your representatives/MP's and demand a ceasefire. Demand more than adequate medical care -which includes period care -reach those in Gaza who need it.

Original post where Hind Khoudary is reporting:

To say I'm bitter-sweetly fortunate my TL has been full of feminists talking about Palestine -while at the same time I have seen a plethora publicly turn away, ignore, or remain silent on it because of money or greed or worry about their social or financial capital (celebrities and 'influencers' -we know who you are) -I'm just embarrassed for them.

When I first started my journey into feminism as a first year well over a decade ago (and as someone who used to be ignorant about so many things until I started my process of learning/unlearning/educating myself) -I am resoundingly grateful for that beginning. Being able dig into intersectional theory, listening to activists from all around the world about their struggles, passions, and efforts to liberation -and I still continue to do so.

Reading about the importance of decolonization in tandem with dismantling the heteropatriarchal capitalist machine -I always know the importance of solidarity and ally ship as a result of years of study -because the power IS with the people -and our voices do matter -the system, time and again, wants you to believe you don't. And for those feminists who aren't using their platforms or voices to encourage and demand a ceasefire -or any and all ends of systemic oppression -you have blood on your hands. Feminist and women's movements aren't meant to be something you cherry pick.

So do the bare minimum, or don't call yourselves feminists.

I also don't have a 'template' per-say, since I just wrote them out individually and edited them, but if anyone wants to me post something generic so they can make their own to send to these organizations please let me know.

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phoenixyfriend · 1 year

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I'm having thoughts about the Jedi and romance and UGH

Listen to me

Listen

(This is a shitpost, please do not reblog to argue with me, it's not for that. This is me, an a-spec individual with a lot of feelings on how society affects the things we view as important, venting in stream of consciousness.)

"Missing out on love" isn't something that matters as much when your society isn't amatonormative

"But they aren't allowed to get married" what if they don't want to?

"But they aren't allowed to romance" what if they don't want to?

When your culture is one that emphasizes compassion for all, and the most important bond is that of child and teacher... Don't you think that people might just not think of marriage as something worth striving for?

And from @jebiknights:

Honestly the only reason it bothers Anakin is bc he already met Padmé when he became a Jedi tbh i bet it wouldn't even bother him as much if he hadn't met her and already had visions of marrying her In general though yeah lol, that's one of the things i kind of miss about legends, is they didn't always deal with the attachment/romance/marriage thing well but you consistently had obi wan exes even before satine where they were like yeah we love each other and always will but we have no need or desire to get married or continue this

When the world around you doesn't emphasize marriage and romance and all that, then wouldn't you view cultures that do as a tad odd? Not weird in a bad way, just different.

I just keep thinking about the real world and how so much of the obsession with marriage and so on is a sociocultural thing. You don't want a big white dress because it's a bit white dress: you want it because it is the symbol that your culture has been pushing on you since you were two. Girls are taught to fantasize about weddings and marriage and to like A Certain Look for it, sometimes to such a degree that they can spend decades in denial about things like their sexualities.

And we're unlearning that as a society, people are being more critical of the institution and how they engage with it, are starting to question what it is that our media teaches us, asking 'why is marriage the most important thing in a girl's life, or in anyone's life' and generally moving towards a world where marriage exists but is not treated as a universal life goal

But the Jedi are just. Already doing that. They are already Not Teaching their children 'you should want this.'

And when you aren't pressured into wanting something like marriage... why would you be offended that your community says "you can have that Legal And Religious Status, but not with us. We'll still be your friends, but we as a community are not compatible with that legal and religious status barring a handful of specific and necessary exemptions."

Just

Marriage is not an inherent human/sapient want

Companionship is! We are biologically wired to be social creatures! We are biologically wired to, on the average, want sex, as well! That's how a species continues!

But marriage? A signed sheet of paper? That's not... inherent.

Fidelity and monamory? Sure, maybe. Plenty of species mate for life. But... humans have been proving that's a choice for most of history.

Other species are other things but anyway

Even if we remove marriage, specifically, and go to discuss attachment as being fidelity and exclusivity and devotion to another...

IDK how to talk about this without just going "devoting your life to a single person for companionship, romance, and sex is not only not necessary, but actually kind of mentally draining and a bad way to support yourself, we all need support systems and if you value one person's friendship or companionship more than others, that's not inherently a bad thing, but if you define yourself around each other or start doing shit like Covering Up Major Crimes That Hurt Real Innocent People (or committing said crimes) then. Uh. That's a problem."

#star wars #jedi #pro jedi #amatonormativity #phoenix posts

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sasch1sch · 10 months

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reminder that terf rhetoric at its core is just straight up fascism. i'm not even kidding or exaggerating.

dehumanising, caricaturing us as perverts and groomers, spreading conspiracy theories about a "social contagion", reducing our identities to "dangerous ideology that will lead to the downfall of society", fabricating a "common threat", conspiracy theories about a small population of people controlling the media narrative, calling us inherently unnatural and predatory, spreading fear, all of these were tactics that ultimately led to thousands of queer people being murdered by the nazis during the holocaust.

the rights the lgbt community fought so hard for are fragile. they can be taken away in an instance. if we let fascism happen right under our noses, all progress people have risked their lives for can be undone. this goes for all marginalised communities. never underestimate fascists. trans people are just step one, they are the current wedge issue used to radicalise people. dont fuckin fall for it.

at best terfs alienate trans people out of sheer misinformation, at worst they actively cause physical harm by fighting for restricted healthcare, ridiculing, harassing and doxxing out of hatred and disgust. you can dress the movement up as progressive as you want but if the literal alt right is fighting by your side for the same cause then you seriously need to revaluate your values. your views are directly responsible for anti trans violence.

make no mistake: violence is on the rise, it has been for decades. we are victims of harassment, physical, verbal and sexual abuse and even murder. if you actually believe trans people are the perpetrator of violence, you are flat out wrong, its the opposite.

i do not think all "gender critical" people have malicious intentions. trans people have been instrumentalised by the right for their propaganda by fearmongering, but its never too late to unlearn these biases. this is why i believe we should treat the terf pipeline like any other harmful pipeline such as the alt right or incel pipeline. its a gradual development which can be countered at each step. still, we should treat these people with compassion, as long as it is returned to us.

not all people with bigoted ideals are inherently bad people. sometimes they are simply misguided and just need to be educated about certain topics. information and respectful conversations are key here. in this case, they should be reminded that trans people are not the monsters they get potrayed as in the media. we are human beings, capable and worthy of so much love, full of passion and beautiful inside and out.

#leftist #socialist #trans #fck nzs #lgbt rights #lgbt history #trans history #trans rights #protect trans youth #protect trans lives #protect trans kids #activism #trans guy #ftm #antifascism #intersectional feminism #social justice #fuck terfs

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bonegloss · 9 months

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You're not a failed artist.

After over almost two decades on the internet, entering various art communities and establishing my online presence, I've noticed something.

The persistent idea that you've "failed" as an artist if you get a "real job" will not go away.

This, for the longest time, permeated my electronic meat slab and nestled in deeply MUCH to my detriment . For years I fought with myself over this idea. Self-flagellating and noisy, negative thoughts were almost suffocating because I was unable to Do Art As A Job consistently and efficiently enough to maintain a living off of it. Between navigating life for almost 30 years not knowing I was autistic (and all that entails) and trying to turn something I love into something I could make a living off of, it was a vicious and repetitive cycle of trying something new, getting burned out, entering a depressive state, climbing out of it, rinse and repeat. This is clearly unsustainable, especially now that I am more independent in my adult life; bills aren't going to wait for me to get out of my depressive funks. Even having jobs and still making art on the side today, this idea is still nestled in there, nagging me sometimes.

Would I like to make a living off of my art? Of course! Would it be even better if I was supported from making stuff from my own IP's? You fucking bet. But I know how I operate, I know I can't personally do that (yet? maybe?). Now, I realize not everyone can just go get a job, and I don't want this to come off as a rally cry to Just Go Out and Work (I know many creative people are disabled or have other reasons they cannot work), but I do want to stress that its okay if art needs to remain more of a hobby than a job. It is okay if you cannot sustain yourself solely as a living artist. Over the years, I've burned myself out so god damn hard and have watched others work themselves to (near) death or can barely scrape by because of this incessant feeling that we need to be doing art 100% of the time to have "made it". It is hurting us both physically and emotionally to keep this shit up.

Going forward, we have to do better. There is no shame in having an income that is not dependent on the things you make. I think that it can help alleviate a lot of stress and fatigue that can become associated with creating (and thus, making it hard to do something you love). We need to learn to be kinder to ourselves and unlearn comparing our experiences to what we see from other creative peers on social media. Its hard, finding work sucks ass, and no job will be perfect, but if it can help you survive a little easier and rekindle your relationship for creating the things you love to make, it'll make a world of difference.

You are not a failed artist. You're doing what you can so you can keep doing what you love.

#*Real Job is used here within the context of mainly not getting employment in a creative field #I know that many creative people are able to get jobs within creative fields #but even that can help alleviate the financial pressure of having your creative outlet be draining #because your livelihood depends on it #Also I would like to note that while it would be nice to have UBI and more support for the arts in general in the US #that is not the case in the current economic setting and I fear it won't be that way for a while so working will have to do for now.#UBI would fix me #art #artists #creative burnout

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queenofthearchipelago · 6 months

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It's so sad and fascinating how people talk about Spitelout's character now versus when the show was coming out.

When the seasons were still new and being released, we talked about Spitelout as a man who made many mistakes. He had a son whom he gave very bad advice to many times. He failed to see how much his son looked up to him and so he didn't see how he almost abused that loyalty. He had a bit of a thirst for power and taught it to his son, despite his son having something better than leverage, Snotlout had genuine friendship with the men who had power over him.

Spitelout failed in so many ways. He made so many mistakes. And they were all so incredibly understandable. Crazy, but understandable.

Because we knew that Spitelout grew up in a war torn world where he adopted philosophies for life that were harmful as a way to cope. And when that war torn world disappeared, he didn't know how to change his parenting style to better suit it. And so Snotlout had to deal with living in a better world, with peace with dragons and friends who love him and balance that with his father's Old World advice and healing from it. And we did watch and sympathize with Snotlout as he struggled to do that.

He struggled, but he loved his father. Snotlout, in the end, understood Spitelout in all these ways. That's why the end of Snotlout's arc with his father is literally just showing us that Snotlout can hear his father's bad advice, ignore it because he knows better, and just keep loving him as best he can.

But now? Now I'm seeing the fandom talk of Spitelout like he's Evil incarnate. Like he was just like that for No Reason. It takes such depth out of a good character. Not good as in a character who is a morally good example. But good as in extremely, consistently complex.

Spitelout is the character in this franchise who never truly healed. There was much he couldn't unlearn and yes it caused hurt. He struggled to change his philosophies. But you know what he did do?

He stopped killing the dragons.

Spitelout, for all his failings, was better than Mildew. Mildew who was forever bitter and hateful of the dragons. He was better than Alvin, who held a grudge for decades and was still willing to kill for them. Better than Dagur, who loves the power and the sport of it so much that he didn't care that there was a better world to live in. Better than Viggo, who wanted to corrupt the concept of training the dragons to build an empire built up on their deaths.

Spitelout failed so MUCH, and yet he was better. He loved his son as best as he could, as best as he knew how. And he saw Hiccup and Stoick structure Berk into a better world and he allowed it. He never stood in the way and he WANTED that better world. Fought for it side by side with his son.

And Snotlout knew all of this, understood it, and, in the unconditionally complex way that only a son can, loved his father.

#httyd #dragons #snotlout #spitelout #httyd analysis #dragons analysis #thoughtsfromthequeen

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torturedpoetemotions · 1 year

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The thing about conservatives and their conspiracy theory that "the libs" are trying to brainwash their children is that a) it's entirely 100% projection and assuming everyone operates the way they do, and b) what is actually happening is more akin to deprogramming than brainwashing.

Speaking from experience, growing up in a conservative family and community was a continuous, painful process of having my natural compassionate and empathetic responses stamped out of me.

I was constantly discouraged from seeing the humanity in others who didn't share my race, class, religion, or my parents' political beliefs. I was shamed and punished for every thought and action that didn't align perfectly with said beliefs. I was taught to avoid any information that contradicted those beliefs, and to fear and mistrust it if I couldn't avoid it completely.

And this wasn't done by providing all the teachings and then holding me to them, mind. I never recall having anything truly explained to me. No, the method of instruction was to wait for me to do something that fell outside of the narrow guardrails no one had ever shown me, then yell and pearl clutch and bombard me with horror and disappointment that I had said/done/thought such an "awful thing." Again, without ever explaining why it was awful.

This process gradually taught me to view the world primarily in terms of my own emotions, and to view those emotions as the voice of God--as long as they aligned with conservative values. And since I was being trained like a dog to experience discomfort, shame, fear, and distress whenever I encountered anything or anyone that didn't align with those values, I was basically innoculated against critical thinking and basic facts.

The result of all this was twofold. Firstly, though I didn't stop having questions or doubts about the ideas I was being taught, I felt intense guilt and shame whenever I had them. Secondly, I began to perceive anyone else questioning my beliefs as an attack on everything I was.

The last thing that was done to me--by parents, teachers, preachers, and eventually friends, because we all learned to do it to each other--was to make me acutely aware and terrified of how my community would see and treat me if I ever strayed from the beliefs we now shared. After a lifetime of being trained to hang my entire self-worth and moral compass on how conservative authority figures reacted to me, I was presented with an image of lifelong shame and disappointment. Utter loneliness. A chasm between myself and everyone I knew that would never be bridged. And of course, eternal suffering and separation from them after death.

Yeah, the death-cult of Christianity was a whole other can of worms on its own, but its lessons and methods ultimately reinforced the conservative brainwashing, and vice versa.

In contrast, becoming a "liberal" (read: someone whose beliefs are rooted in facts and who cares about people more than ideology) was a very internal, very self-guided process. Nobody was actually pushing me to believe one thing over another. What actually happened was: I got distance from that community and their constant reinforcement; I got access to the information that I was kept away from as a child; I encountered people with different views and backgrounds and saw that they weren't evil monsters; I was encouraged to decide for myself what I thought, and learn to defend that thought with information.

And yes...that did lead me away from the conservative beliefs of my family and childhood community. Because those beliefs could not stand up to the smallest amount of critical thinking or actual facts.

It still took me over a decade of being separated from that community to unlearn all of those trained responses. Hell, I'm still unlearning some of them. I still struggle with the loss of that community. I still have an intense emotional reaction I have to work through before my thinking kicks in, whenever I am presented with information that contradicts what I thought I knew. I still come across thoughts or negative associations I have with various people, ideas, etc. only to realize those are unexamined holdovers from my upbringing. Like moving a piece of furniture and finding all the crumbs and other nastiness your vacuum's been missing.

But the key thing here is, the process of becoming who I am today wasn't brainwashing. It wasn't even, now that I lay it out, true deprogramming. It was more like recovery. A long and arduous process for which I often needed support, but which was ultimately completely led by and up to me. I had to want to get better. And I did. So I did.

Which is why I can say for certain that what conservatives are doing now is absolutely 100% about removing as many avenues as possible for doubts and questions to lead to critical thinking. That's why they're hamstringing teachers, banning books, pushing revisionism in the teaching of U.S. history, attacking queer children, doubling down on anti-intellectualism, deregulating child labor. They know that exposure to diversity and access to real information and education is a tried and true path out of their cult mentality. And they can't allow that path to exist.

#ex conservative #exvangelical #recovering christian #deconstruction #brainwashing #deprogramming #recovery #us politics #conservative values #lizawords

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phoenixonwheels · 8 months

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The ~discourse~ around the term cripple punk is so wild to me bcs from what I've seen the people arguing that it includes mental illnesses/disabilities are mentally ill people who are ALSO physically disabled explaining from experience that not only are mental illnesses oftentimes disabling in exactly the same way physical disabilities are, but that trying to draw a hard line between "physical" and "mental" conditions is reductive and unhelpful in terms of actually accommodating us and understanding our conditions, especially given that both have so much overlap that it's hard to distinguish what's coming from where in the first place. Like when I'm having a bad enough depressive episode I feel real, physical pain in my chest that's so bad I can hardly stand up, and the accommodations that help me when my hEDS or POTs is making it hard to stand help when it's the depression instead. And yet I'm supposed to believe these two things are completely different, 100% of the time, no exceptions?? Plus like, idk every time I see people argue that mental conditions are somehow different from physical ones it just reminds me of how often doctors will brush aside the physical symptoms of my mental illnesses bcs they're "all in my head" despite how much I'm clearly suffering. For me so much of learning to live with stuff like my bipolar and adhd is unlearning the idea that my brain is like, a separate entity from my body, and accepting that the physical stuff I'm feeling shouldn't be dismissed just bcs it's caused by my brain and not like, my POTs or hEDS. For so often I've seen positivity posts talking about how mental conditions do physically affect people and understanding and accepting that is important, it's wild to see a group that should be on top of that sort of thing fumble it so badly.

And god, so much of the world is already against disabled people, getting mad that the "wrong" disabled people are using the term cripple punk while society does everything in its power to make life impossible for us feels like we're just doing their work for them. We should stand united in our very much shared struggle instead of desperately trying to shove everyone in separate boxes and make sure they stay there, insisting that we have nothing in common and could never share a community. We have everything in common and we need to stand together, now more than ever.

All of this! And also it’s clearly never occurred to them that a huge percentage of the medical gaslighting we’ve all experienced is having doctors blow off our physical disabilities and illnesses by claiming we’re mentally ill. Gee hmm I wonder why that is? Could it be that mental illnesses and disabilities are even more discriminated against than physical illnesses and disabilities? And if we all fight together for respect and rights for people with all types of disabilities and disorders we all benefit?

This shit is absolutely wild to me. And it leads to things like people yelling at me - an actual wheelchair user who is currently mostly bedbound - that I hate cripples and am somehow trying to “steal cripple privilege” and insert myself undeservingly into “cripple spaces” because I refuse to join them in their bigotry against mentally ill and mentally disabled people.

MERDs are to the Cripple Punk and disability rights movements what TERFs are to feminism and the queer rights movement. They’re dragging us back decades.

*MERD: mental-exclusionary radical disabled

#cripple punk #CripplePunk #CPunk #cpunk discourse #disability #actually disabled #MERDs #exclusionists

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pjo-gaysofgreeks · 5 months

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I wrote this silly little thing for a graded final and I figured I’d share…

Allied Authordom: Rowling vs. Riordan

By Serena Martinez

Allyship does not demand perfection, but rather desire to grow. We are all unlearning internalized -phobias and -isms which have been normalized in society. The key to true allyship is recognizing you have the capacity to cause harm, do the work to be better, and consciously avoid hurting someone that way again.

Given the upcoming television adaptations of both J.K. Rowling and Rick Riordan’s popular series, I am going to use them as a case study example. The hoards of Millennials and Gen Zers that grew up with either or both series are now young adults with the ability to think critically and set their own moral principles. I am not sure I know someone in my age range who hasn’t at least watched a Harry Potter movie and most of my friends are eagerly following the new release of the Percy Jackson Series (December 20th!!!). As much as I wish people would turn towards new POC authors who are trailblazing their own paths of authordom, I know many are still tied to the nostalgia of the past.

When first published, neither series included diversity up to today’s standards. Both trios were completely composed of white cisgender people: a male protagonist, a male best friend and sidekick, and a female friend and potential love interest. Although Riordan intentionally made Percy neurodivergent to depict the experiences of his real life son and Rowling crafted the entire series to support species equality, the core representation remained the same. That doesn’t even include Rowling’s problematic stereotyping of the werewolves and goblins who were based on people with HIV/AIDS and Jewish communities respectively. Riordan and Rowling’s subsequent elaboration (or lack thereof) on their respective universes showcases the difference between them as authors and allies.

Rowling has essentially never budged from her original position on representation in her series. To her, making Hermione Black in the theatrical adaptation of the series and retroactively admitting Dumbledore is gay was enough to show she is a proper liberal ally. Many would deem this too little too late, especially given the stereotypes used to describe people of color in the series like Kingsley Shacklebolt and Cho Chang. Rowling showcases prime examples of tokenization without ever addressing such simplistic character depth over two decades after the series’ publication.

Then, of course, there is the significant harm caused by Rowling’s unapologetic transphobia. She has only doubled down since her first transphobic tweet in 2020 by publishing a book about a cisgender man dressing as a woman to murder people (emboldening the false and harmful narrative of the trans predator), donating to anti-trans companies and legislatures, and claiming that continued support of the Harry Potter Universe is proof that people are in support of her transphobia views.

I think Rowling could have come out of this unscathed had she admitted her books were a product of her time and apologized for her wrongdoing to the trans community. Instead, she has only chosen to dig her heels into hatred. Suffice it to say Rowling is the bad example of allyship amongst these two authors.

Riordan, on the other hand, heard readers’ criticism of his predominantly white and straight series and returned with a sequel including complex characters not defined by their racial, gendered, and sexual diversity. Riordan’s central characters in subsequent series were Latini, Creole, Chinese, Native American, Muslim, bisexual, and genderfluid. His newest book that follows a gay couple from the original Percy Jackson universe is co-authored with a queer writer because Riordan did not want to attempt to portray an experience so distinct from his own. When Leah Jeffries who plays Annabeth Chase in the new TV series experienced racism from fans online, Riordan published a statement calling out the behavior. Since interviews have started he has continued to ensure she is supported. Rick Riordan is certainly imperfect but has continued to use his privileged platform to uplift voices rather than misrepresent or silence them.

While Rowling uses Twitter to corral an army of transphobes that dox anyone who looks gender non conforming in their profile picture, Riordan uses his platforms to vocally confront hatred. The same year Rowling mocked gender inclusive language for people who menstruate, Riordan was staunchly calling out transphobes criticizing genderfluidity in his series.

It is not enough to just magically make characters different identities because doing so erases the complexity of each experience and makes representation a farce.

Onto the question everyone has been waiting for: what does this mean for the T.V. series?

This is not just about allyship. This is about how Rowling continues to harm trans communities during a time where they are already experiencing heightened levels of violence.

Do NOT watch the HBO Harry Potter series or anything where Rowling gets streams and thus money! Illegally stream it. Watch the old movies on DVDs you already own. But every view pads her wallet and her ego, emboldening her to fund and support transphobia globally.

Reread the Percy Jackson series in preparation for the much awaited television show. Delve into Harry Potter fanfiction which doesn’t line the pockets of the Author Who Shall Not Be Named. Try new series from queer authors of color who deserve to be platformed far more than Rowling ever did.

#fuck jkr #percy jackson #percy pjo #allyship #trans ally #rick riordan #jk rowling #article #opinion

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tittyinfinity · 7 months

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There is no concept of racism towards white people because whiteness is designed to destroy itself from the inside. Any kind of "prejudice" towards whiteness is a symptom of white society itself.

White people are raised with a lot of internalized supremacy. We are taught that the only way to live a good life is to be better than others.

It has bled over into American society in general. The rules of whiteness suddenly become applicable for POC as well. If they don't conform, then they're labeled as an "example" as to why it's wrong for us all to be different.

Conformity is a HUGE part of white society.

You are judged and excluded from certain privileges if you don't conform to everyone else.

We are taught that people who dress and act different are inherently less educated and have less worth. Because we believe that white conformity is the ultimate achievement, that we've advanced so much further than other cultures, and if anyone acts different, it's because they haven't completely "learned the ways."

Take suburban neighborhoods with HOAs as an example – the vast majority of the people living in them are upper-middle class whites. All of the houses look the same. You aren't allowed to look "out of place." Painting your house or putting out the "wrong" decorations can get you harassed. You're even judged for growing your own food simply based off of the "aesthetic." You can't walk around the neighborhood in certain clothes (this goes quadruple for POC). Your neighbors will call the police on you and/or your kids if they see you outside and don't like/don't know what you're doing. Shit, in a lot of places, riding a skateboard as opposed to a bicycle will automatically get you labeled as "more trashy" and get the cops called on you for a disturbance.

Lower-income white people don't have as much of an issue with those things, but it doesn't mean those biases don't exist to some extent. My friend and I, while living in a lower-income neighborhood, had CPS called on us for letting kids aged 5-10 play outside in the backyard while we were making dinner because "we were risking them getting kidnapped" – a development in white society where we're taught that we have to constantly assume people have bad intentions "just in case" – made much worse by the increasing trend with True Crime. To white people, our biggest threat is that a random person with a bad agenda will hurt us. All while denying that POC, LGBT+, disabled people, poor people, etc are constantly treated with violence simply for existing.

"Systematic violence isn't real! Anyone could be a victim of anything at any time!" We're taught.

We still have a lot to unlearn. You can't truly unlearn your biases until you study how your relationship with whiteness affects it. I know this as somebody who has spent the past decade unlearning all the terrible shit I was taught. Whiteness and capitalism are connected. Whiteness and ableism are connected. It's connected to a lot more than you think.

#.bdo

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tr4umaborn · 2 months

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listen y'all i'm never here but i've seen two posts on the topic today and i can't just not say anything so:

being zionist does not equal being racist or islamaphobic

as a person who attends a seminary and is training with rabbis-to-be who identify across the spectrum of zionism and anti-zionism and who has been deeply DEEPLY struggling since oct 7 with a lot of learning and unlearning it makes me sad and angry to see posts from people who "don't want to interact with people who identify as zionist".

every zionist I know does not condone the actions of the government of israel. at the same time -- millenials and gen z with a relationship to israel palestine have ONLY know netenyahu as a leader except for like...a year. before oct 7, almost all of my friends in israel were constantly attending anti-government rallies. and after? even though they'd all finished their service months or years before, many of them got sent right back in. they didn't have a choice.

many zionists I know have attended ceasefire rallys and care deeply for the humans who are affected by this war on all sides. you can be anti-occupation and still be zionist. none of these things exist separately from each other.

i'm not out here to try to change your mind, but i will ask you to consider the implications when using a term that has long LONG been associated with judaism (many israelis still today use zionism to describe their relationship to either their home or to judaism in general) as a term you're calling racist. it's antisemitic.

my school friends hear me say a lot that i wish we focused on "ahavat amo yisrael" or "love of the people of israel palestine". my heart broke october 7 for a lot of reasons, and all of them have to do with the people who's lives have been lost of who have lost friends and family on both sides.

this war didn't start in 2023, and it certainly isn't ending in 2024. this is a decades long struggle that started when the allied forces decided to give the land that was palestine to the jewish people as a state. it isn't ok that a group of people was given land that belonged to another group of people. but that fact has nothing to do with the actual people involved.

i am more than happy to have a conversation where we listen to each other about our views. i will not engage in a conversation where the purpose is to try to convince me to change my mind. it's really ok if you see this and you need to hardblock or softblock me. this is all coming from a place of love for me because i know so many people who are in pain when people reblog things or say things that equate zionism to being a bad or evil person. we're all tired.

#current events cw #your jewish friends are tired lol #i have hemmed and hawed over a post like this for a WHILE #its time #feel free to reblog #unless you want to reblog with hateful things #i truly have so much love in my heart for anyone in pain rn

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