#UGH..... IT'S JUST...... SO UNFATHOMABLY CRUEL.

[moe-broey]

FUCK YOUR FATHER FUCK YOUR FATHER FUVK YOUR FATHWR FU--

#final one tonight (and the one i was looking for when i found the other one i was initially looking for) #(in my. fucking. folder.) #this has to be book 1??? i'm certain it is (shot taken revisiting prev books) #still like. this is so fuvked up. like. it's been so long and so it's easy to forget (esp w gustav being canonically dead now) #but like. imagine having a parent who refuses to fucking talk to you in your own fucking house #just cause they disagree w a choice you made. #and like as i say that i know for some people they don't have to imagine. severely fucked up and i'm so sorry. #UGH..... IT'S JUST...... SO UNFATHOMABLY CRUEL. #oh but he's just strict. a stern father figure. dude shut up i'm gonna throw up LMFAOOOOO #also not to be queer about it but oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god. jesus fucking christ. FUCK #there are many reasons alfonse fire emblem makes me insane and unwell and this js one of them #to me he's like. def queer but not in a way where it's visible. heavily influenced/defined by his agab and how he was raised due to it. #he has Just Enough things going for him to make it so he has done Everything Right. #and yet. that does not free him from SO many horrors. in a way he's punished for it. but it's all he's ever known. #it's normal. he's normal. everything is normal. this is just how it's supposed to be. #i'm going to chew on his arm. gnaw at his fuvking shoulders. have him sit on my lap and be held. #for once in his fuckinh life. #what thw fuck ever man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EXPLODE ‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #fe alfonse

[gayspock]

ok im lbing this bc we're not gonna get more for a long time

ok initial thoughts: zombies by the cranberries sent me a little loopy. im sorry. its a heartbreaking song, its a heartbreaking scene. but playing those both together is the funniest fucking thing you could do ever. heavens

second thoughts: i know there was a lotof, like, backlash abt the last ep regarding the present day girlies "giving in to lottie so easily" so its funny to see them ppl owned so early. LOL. although this cant end well and i have already been spoiled and i will say i saw that coming sort of but thought "no they wouldnt do that... tht sucks" but anyways

THIRD thoughts and last time im gonna open a thought with that: literally i said all that, but i know last week ppl also complaine saying they didnt "explain the game well enough" which i thought was stupid bc if they sat there and did thatd be clunky and dumb and ruin the horror of it so now misty is just exposition dumping to lottie im like for gods sake. and in some ways i do kinda get what theyre trying to do with it (misty would be frank about it and clear and etc) but i still think its just a bit alrighhttt alrighttt to watch

this is making me feel sick...

SHAUNA BEING THE DESIGNATED BUTCHER TOO... heavens and a bit.

TH

NOT THE DESIGNATED T...

this is so fucking crazy

HER COVERING HER EYES. I AM SICK. YOU KNOW WHEN THE WET, BIG BROWN PUPPY DOG EYES ARE GONE THE WORLD IS DARK AND CRUEL

ok but seeing trav crying over havi like that . meanwhile shauna was fucking sobbing with jackies corpse holding it for months. everything in the world mental

UGHHH FUCKING WALTERRRRR

SORRY IVE MADE MY FEELINGS CLEAR. I DO NOT LIKE HIS FUNCTION AS A CHARACTER. I THINK MISTY'S ARC WOULD BE SO MUCH FUCKING STRONGER WITHOUT HIM. GET MORE CREATIVE. YOU DONT NEED HIM . and its like hes not bad hes fine but its so annoying that they give him more FUCKING ATTENTION THAN FUCKING NAT AT THIS POINT

plus her dynamic with nat is so much better

i love adult shauna scheming. always gets them into a bit of a pickle. classic!

COACH BEN COMING BACK TO STIUATIONS IS FUCKING UNFATHOMABLY F- NATALIE WHAT HAPPENED

I FIGURED OUT WHERE HAVI WAS HIDING

DOES ANYONE HEAR HIM

YOURE N

I FEEL SICK

his little gorgeous babygirl tear.

coach ben your gay ass needs to move fast before the second most homophobic fast food chain after chick fil a opens up in the canadian wilderness with a limited menu of #1 fucking d

FUCK OFF ELIJAH WOODFUCK OFF KEVYN THIS IS SICK. UGHHHH YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST.

UGH

THIS WHOLE CONVO IS SO BORING IM ASLEEP WORST GUYS IN THE WORLD FUCK OFF THERES NO WAY WE'RE WASTING TIME ON THESE GUYS WHEN THERE'S LITERAL GIRLS EATING GIRLS

"A COVEN OF THEM ALL UP TO NO GOOD" OK that kinda ruled

JEFF WIN JEFF WIN JEFF WIN HIS BIGGG JEFFING COCK FUCKING RULES . NO JEFFING ABOUT.

YOU KILLED HIM?

OKAY jeff is raising the bar here im happy with jeff and walter jeffing and waltering and jaltering and weffing

is weffing something sexual it sounds sexual i hope to god not

shauna is so mother making a meal for the family 😊

THE WOBBLY HEART . MY GOD. DONT- DONT GIVE IT TO TRAVIS. DONT FUCKING LOOK AT HIM WITH THE WOBBLY HEART. COME ON BRO.

hes

um

raw.....

this is a little um

god the crazy parallels of lottie in the past fucking ruined over the ritual and lottie of the present being the most caught up in it. hellaur

IF YOU MAKE CALLIE DEAL WITH THAT ROTTEN COP I'LL KILL US ALL

SHAUNA DRAWING THE CARD?

"IT WAS JUST US!" "is there a difference?" EXACTLY. SAY THAT AT THE FUCKING C- SORRY BUT THEIR SLOW ASS RUNNING MADE ME LOSE IT

TH

THE TRUNK OF THE FUCKING CAR HELP THATS SO FUNNYYYY KEVYNNNNNN

CALLIE WITH A GUN

HI... OK. BUT THE ... OK IS ANYONE GOING CRAZY RIGHT NOW

i mean other than the girlies in animal masks in th e woods

lottie: everybo-

SHUT UP ITS CRAZY EVERY TIME THEY CUT FROM A FUTURE SCENE TO A PAST SCENE I GO STUPID IN THE HEAD

lottie: can you fucking kill me

lottie: can you fucking kill me and can i also elect the next girl president

ANTLER QUEEN?

NATALIE?

YOU MAKE ME SICK

YOU MAKE ME SICK THERES NOWAYYYYYYY

NATALIE NO MY SEET SWEETBABYGIRL

HEY

HI

AND HELLO

LISA....

LISA. NO. SURELY NOT.

OH MY GOD

NATALIE YOU ARE SO....

the nattielot stocks are literall crazy the nattielot stocks are literally in turmoil its like a rollercoaster its literally a thrillride they blow your brain right out up and down and round and round til your FUCKING BRAIN COMES OUT YOUR NOSE AS DINNER SURPRISE

travis......................

my god natalie atalie no NA QUEEN CA RD QU

NM

M

M

M

M

M

HI AND HELLO AND HI

SORRY . THATS TISTE DTHIS IS TWISTED THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER IM ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS EVERYBODY VETTER FUCKING KILL

STOP PLAYING RADIOHEAD AND SLOWMOING HER FUCKING DEATH IS THERE NO FUCKING DIGNIT

NO THIS IS

YOU ALL.... ARE THE WORST.....

I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING EXISTENCE

ITS NOT EVIL ITS JUST HU

THE NATLOTTIE STOCKS JUST BURST

I FEEL ILL I HATE MY ST- NOT THE DRUG OVERDOSE. COME ON . I JSUT WANT TO FUCKING CRY THIS ALL FUCKING SUCCKS.

walter: um...... >_<

you guys fucking suck sending her there i know i know theres so few options but fu- VAN. PUT THOSE BIG WET EYES AWAY. PUT THAT AWE-INDUCED WET SMILE AWAY. COME ON GIRL. PULL IT TOGETHER

hey shauna

most normal girl in the world

coach ben said FUCK women. WOW. ALRIGHT. i mean it was... RIGHT LIKE HE?

HE SERIOUSLY JUST DECIDED FUCK THESE GIRLS OH MY GOD YES TYHIS IS THE FUCKING ENDING I WANTED

van being the last out vantler queen when?

THIS IS FUCKING NUTS

altrnateively the wilderness being like :/ you didnt need to do that to havi guys....

ANYWAYS GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

#Egg.txt #YELLOWJACKETS LIVEBLOG

[seokmins]

Eyes On You — BB

The eyes are the window to the soul.

【ᴳᴼᵀ⁷ ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡⁱˢᵗ || ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳᵖᵒˢᵗ】

💞 🄿🄰🄸🅁🄸🄽🄶: Bambam x female!reader 📚 🄶🄴🄽🅁🄴: Fluff, Minor Angst, F2L/E2l 🌟 🅁🄰🅃🄸🄽🄶: T 💬 ⓌⒸ: 1.2k    ⚠️ 🅆🄰🅁🄽🄸🄽🄶🅂: Swearing, Suggestive, Alcohol, Arguing/Fighting, Insults, (Forced/Drunken) Kissing, Implied smut but nothing descriptive.

💫 (っ  ◔◡◔)っɛƖ۷'ʂ ŋơɬɛʂ 💕:

I made a post saying I’d fight Bambam and come for his NECK and it autocorrected to BECK at first and I’m like yes — my phone knows me so well, I’d be at this man’s beck and call. Smh. And here’s what resulted, lolol. Finally - I posted something!

“Kunpimook Bhuwakul!”

“Oh boy,” Bambam snickered, “looks like I’m in trouble.”

The door to his apartment swung open and you marched up to him, grabbing the collar of his shirt in your hand. 

“You — !”

“Me?”

“Ugh!”

“Babe~, I think you’re drunk.”

“I am not!”

The smell of alcohol was not strong but with you basically in his face, Bambam could tell that you’d been drinking. The glassy look in your eyes accompanied by an unfathomable amount of rage had him chuckling.

“Yeah, and I’m American. Try again, sweetie.”

“I’m obviously coherent enough to say your full name, jerk!” You huffed, at least having the decency to take off your shoes before walking past him.

Following you into his kitchen, he leaned against the counter as you seemed to search for something with an agitated look. “Looking for something?”

“Your sense of kindness, which of course can’t be found.”

“It might be in the living room since I even took the time to set a spot for you.”

“Hah, how lovely of you!” The sarcasm dripped like venom from your words. Yet you followed Bambam right away (not without a few snide comments, of course).

“Happy Lunar New Year, by the way. At least I can make rice cake soup better than whatever JB made.”

“Why you di — ” Unlike last time, he evaded your angry grasp and instead pinned you against the wall. It was in times like these that you remembered the boy from your childhood had grown into a lithe man capable of holding you down. “What the — let me go!”

“Geez [Y/N], if you’re gonna come here and ruin my hard work, you can go back home and eat whatever flood your brother made instead!”

You wanted to kick him, oh, you wanted to kick him so hard. 

“Let me go, Kunpimook.”

He held up his hands in defense. “As long as you promise not to destroy my house. Again.”

“Ha.” 

After all, what were promises between you two?

You plopped on the couch, begrudgingly picking up the spoon. Even if it looked a whole lot better than what Jaebeom had made, like hell would your pride let you admit it might even taste better. The stony silence between you two was only broken up by the occasional slurping sounds until Bambam paused to question you.

“So, how much did you have to drink to end up here?”

You scoffed. “Puh-lease. Don’t act like you live across town or something when you’re right next door. I’m sure you could hear me yelling the moment you posted that stupid shit on your story.”

“I could hear a lot more if you’d let me.”

“Creep.”

All he did was let out a sigh and get up to take the empty bowls to the sink. He tried not to let a smile slip when you followed him, not even having to turn around to guess what you were up to next.

“No,” he said firmly — as if that was going to stop you. “[Y/N], I’m serious — !”

Ah, Bambam was too late as he spun around to watch you pop open the bottle of soju. Swearing under his breath, he dunked his hands back into the soapy water. At least he could say he tried. 

“What am I supposed to do? You wouldn’t want me scratching your stupid expensive cutting board again, would you?”

His knuckles turned white. “I spent good money on it.”

“More like an insane amount.”

“What are you doing here? Do you need to come over every time you drink just to pick on me?”

“Pick on you? You’re being cruel by picking on Jaebeomie!”

The low growl your apartment neighbor let out had you flinching. Briefly, you were reminded of Yugyeom’s words that had had you scoffing at him.

“He’s so fucking whipped for you but all you do is blab about your brother. The only way you’ll pay attention to him anymore is when you’re fighting.”

Not that you could talk. You kept your eyes focused on the liquid swirling inside the green bottle even as Bambam walked closer to you. Surrounded by the sharp scent of his cologne, you lifted the alcohol up to take another swig but his large hand prevented the bottle from reaching your lips.

“Look at me.”

You couldn’t. He was too close, too firm, and too overwhelming so you clenched your eyes shut instead. Pretending like those pet names and light touches didn’t affect you was easier than confronting the elephant in the room.

Unfortunately, Bambam thought otherwise.

“Seriously? For real? You come in each week, tipsy as hell, spouting rude shit from those pretty lips of yours that I can’t stop thinking about since New Year’s Eve — no, since forever ago. Do you know how cruel you’re being?”

“Wha — I-I don’t kno — ”

“Don’t you dare say you don’t know what I’m talking about,” he sighed as your eyes flew open to meet his own. “Even now, when you’re not actin’ all angry at me, the way you look at me makes me think I... goddamnit!”

His lips were on yours, just like how you’d done to him during Mark’s New Year’s Eve party. You tasted exactly as he remembered, no, reminisced. This was unfair. Pulling away and leaving you gasping for air and for more, Bambam turned around with furrowed eyebrows.

“Leave.”

“Wha — ” 

“You heard me, leave.”

“I-I — You’re just gonna kiss me and tell me to leave!?”

He let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, how’s it feel, being kissed and left hanging?”

“I — ” You shuffled over to try and get him to look at you but he kept his face turned. You clenched your fists as the realization hit you. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Your brother’s gonna kill me.”

“... If I really hated it... I would’ve punched you.”

While you mumbled the last four words under your breath, Bambam groaned and put a hand over his eyes. “You’re a real piece of work, [Y/N], you really are.”

“So, what’re you gonna do about it?”

“Shut you up.”

It didn’t take long for that statement to become contradictory. Once his lips met with yours again, the apartment became filled with other noises — so much that your brother interrupted the two of you with a loud knock. Complaining that he’d rather have to listen to arguments, Jaebeom couldn’t stop himself from smiling though. Urging you to at least be considerate of the neighbors, Bambam let out a sigh of relief when your brother left without even a threat.

Perhaps everyone was tired of the longing looks you two would send the other, hidden under the disguise of anger. But that was neither here nor there, and as he snuggled with you on the couch, the clock struck midnight.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Wow, I can’t believe this is happening,” you murmured.”

“Well about damn time. I wasn’t waiting a whole month awkwardly making you angry just so you’d talk to me.”

“So it’s true, you do get a rise out of pissing me off.”

He hummed to himself. “Oh yeah, you’re pretty cute when you’re threatening me.”

Giggles filled the room even as you shook your head. There was a warm fuzzy feeling you had when he stared at you with sparkling eyes that resembled the galaxy above, no longer marred by an angry storm — and there was no way the same look wasn’t reflected in your own.

dokyeomblr February 2021: Eyes On You ©

#kpopficsnetwork #kpopscape #kwritersworldnet #kafenetwork #kdiarynet #wkcnet #ultkpop #bambam #bambam x reader #got7 #kpop fanfic #got7 fanfic #bambam fanfic #kpop drabble #kpop fluff #bambam drabble #kunpimook bhuwakul #kunpimook fanfic #ezralia-writes #ezralia-creates

[ootori-sibs]

Kyoya's second shot

Episode eighteen: Plan B!

Tw: implied self harm

"Kyoya? You have yet to hand in your homework?"

Monday again, Kyoya had a plan that was about to be put into action, but unfortunately he hadn't managed to bring himself to complete the homework expected of him. He looked up from his book, well aware of all the eyes that were on him. The teacher seemed to have assumed it was a mere mistake that Kyoya had forgotten to hand it over, he stared at her with blank eyes, "yes ma'am," he sighed, hanging his head, "I am aware."

People gasped and the entire classroom broke into a cacophony of hushed whispers, even Tamaki leant over and hissed, "Kyoya! Are you feeling alright?"

The teacher looked unsettled, adjusting the cuffs of her shirt. She swallowed and tried to make her tone sound gentle, "alright, is there a reason you have yet to hand your work in?"

"Yes ma'am," Kyoya started, not wanting to finish that statement. People were all looking at him, it was unfathomable that an Ootori would fail at such a simple task, and Kyoya was especially known for being painfully studious. He looked back down at his book, bracing for the outcry, "I simply didn't get around to finishing it, my apologies ma'am."

10:23 - I did not complete my homework, the class have gone mad with shock after hearing.

Go mad they did; the whispers quickly became normal talking, people were phoning their friends and he was sure someone had been recording him. He simply sighed, waiting for the teacher to stop talking about his homework. Said teacher looked extremely unnerved, unsure what to do, "well uh, this is certainly a surprise but I suppose this is the first time this has happened so I'll let you off with a warning, please try and complete it as soon as you can, alright?" Kyoya nodded and the teacher moved on to other things.

The rest of the class seemed intent on staring at Kyoya, whispering about how shocked and disturbed they were. Kyoya shuddered as he realised that this was the kind of tiny change that would send Tamaki into full nonsense mode, he would likely get no reprieve. He had been planning to complete the homework during club hours as well…

So he just sat there in silence, ignoring the very pointed looks he got from Tamaki. Unfortunately he couldn't ignore Tamaki whilst they were walking between classes, "soo…" the accusation started, perfectly innocent, "you didn't do your homework?"

"Does that really matter? What bearing does it have on your day?" He didn't like being short with Tamaki, but he wasn't about to have a discussion about it with him. His heart was hammering in his chest already, he’d never done something like that before and he felt he was about to cry and/or faint.

Tamaki clutched both his hands, nearly knocking poor Kyoya into the wall, “you never forget that kind of thing!! You're always so serious and smart! You’ve never done anything like this before! What's going on??"

"That's none of your business." He pushed Tamaki away, frowning, "please don't assault me like that again, I'm not in the mood to deal with that today." He proceeded to turn on heel and walk down the corridor, towards his class. He felt bad for leaving Tamaki on his own like that, but he felt he had been in the right to get upset, it wasn't any of Tamaki's business to pry into.

Tamaki, obviously told the other hosts, and of course they panicked and did their best to figure out what was 'wrong' with Kyoya. Obviously Kyoya didn't humour them, just sighing and telling them that it's none of their concern, that he doesn't need their intervention. Even Haruhi seemed worried, approaching him towards the end of the very first session.

"Senpai? Are you alright? I know they're being a bit annoying at the moment but it's just because they care," she smiled gently, sitting down at his table. Kyoya resisted the urge to roll his eyes, hating every word that left her damn mouth. They don't care, they just want to poke their noses where it doesn't belong, both of them knew it, Haruhi just liked to pretend to be nice about things like this.

"The key word here being annoying," was his only answer, not even glancing at her for more than half a second, she didn't deserve that much.

A sigh, she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head just a little, "you've been very snappy lately, is there a reason for this?"

Yeah, he's looking at her. Kyoya stopped what he was doing, turning to look at her, "do you just want to know why I didn't do my homework?" He knew that she wanted to know, but he also knew that wasn't why she was asking. He was mainly trying to get her to shut up and leave him alone, he didn't want to talk to her.

It worked, as she stood up, turning to leave, "I'm here if you need someone to talk to, senpai." He actually did roll his eyes at that, hating the way she acted like she was so much better than him.

Woman#2: I can't do my job if you can't take me off the blacklist.

Moron.

Oh right, her. Kyoya sighed and did as he was told, hating what he had to resort to. He hoped it would work.

A week went by and Friday rolled around, Kyoya had nearly forgotten what he'd asked Sieka to do, and was just looking forward to no longer being grounded. He'd ended up stealing the twins' spare fabric shears, and had made sure to clean them before he returned them to their place in the storeroom the day before. This morning he was sure to do his makeup fully, no more lacking as he had done the past week.

When he saw the note on Tamaki's desk, he remembered what Sieka was to do. Her job was simple; talk to Tamaki every day, get fully on his good side, then send him an anonymous love letter, requesting that he meet her in a quiet corner of the school, making sure the letter only gives enough information to stand out from the others, Kyoya would encourage him to go see, so she didn't need to work so hard to do that, but Haruhi would walk by, just when that happens, Sieka would ensure something scandalous to enrage her- Kyoya had told her to make it up as she goes along.

"Usually they put love notes in the mailbox…"

"Maybe she wanted to make sure you read it," Kyoya offered, "you know who wrote it?"

Tamaki shook his head, rereading the letter, "no clue, why would someone write me a love note if they know I've got a girlfriend."

Ugh, that sentiment made Kyoya feel nauseous, a girlfriend, ew. "Strange isn't it?" He had to agree, to make Tamaki happy, "maybe you should go, just to ask her?" Tamaki looked at him in confusion, so Kyoya continued, "well obviously she knows, so there has to be a reason she sent the letter regardless, I think you should go, so you can find out."

"I am curious…" Tamaki pondered on the idea, "you think Haruhi will get mad if I go see?"

"Just don't tell her," he shrugs, frowning, "if she gets mad over something so small, she doesn't deserve you." He offered a smile when Tamaki looked concerned, "it's not like you're accepting the confession, just asking."

The king nodded, smiling a little, "you're right, you're always right. Ok, I'll go see."

Kyoya chuckled, feeling a rush of good feelings as Tamaki praised him, "oh you don't want to say that Tamaki, what if you give me an ego?" He smirked as the blonde laughed, feeling like it was almost back to normal for just a second.

"You've already got one! I couldn't give you a bigger one if I tried!"

"I mean, you've definitely got the superior ego," Kyoya shrugged, knowing full well that neither of them had very high self esteem in truth, they just liked to act like they were egotists.

"Ha!" A slap on the back and Kyoya winced, Tamaki was always one to play rough, "at least I'm not the evil one!" Kyoya smiled fondly at that, remembering the first time Tamaki had called him evil.

"Oh, you have no idea…" well he was evil now wasn't he? It was no longer still aesthetics, and it was the aesthetics that Tamaki was fond of.

The first club session was good, quite quiet actually, the other hosts were pleased to hear that today was the last day of kyoya being grounded, having gotten grounded last friday, so naturally they made plans to hang out over the weekends. "Oh! How about a sleepover on Saturday!"

"We can use my place this time!" Tamaki grinned, "I've made sure to get extra blankets and futons since last sleepover!"

"Oh about that," Kyoya spoke up quietly, "would it be possible to achieve another 'boys night', as you put it?"

"Yeah!" Hikaru nodded, a grin on his face as Kaoru agreed, the two nodding in unison.

"We could do that on Sunday, right boss?"

Tamaki nodded, snapping his fingers, "of course we can! Anything for my best friend!" He paused, glancing down at Haruhi, "oh, you don't mind not joining us on Sunday as well, do you Haruhi?"

She just deadpanned up at him, "believe me, I'm totally fine with just one extra day with you guys."

Then came lunch, and Tamaki made his way down to the specified location. Kyoya made sure to follow him part of the way, finding a place to sit where he was at least within earshot, but he made sure to stay out of view, he didn't want to ruin his own plans. He opened his phone to text the twins, he almost felt bad using them as tools to erase suspicion like this, but it had to be done.

Demon-lord: We're out of commoners coffee, could you get some?

The annoying one: We'll tell Haruhi to do it,

Kaoru: she knows where to get it.

He knew they'd do that, they always make Haruhi do that. Those boys were such fools, always doing the playing and never realising when they were being used. Although, other than their cruel nature, Kyoya was quite fond of them, they were the second hosts that he considered friends. He had forgotten how cruel they could be, he had almost forgotten to see their nicknames and terms for him as their way of expressing friendship, but it wasn't, was it? It was just their cruel nature leaking through, corrupting everything around them.

Either way, Sieka was here now, Kyoya could hear her speaking. "You came! You know, I really didn't think you would," she giggled, it wasn't her natural laugh, it was the one she put on to appear innocent.

"Princess Ayanokoji? It was you?" Tamaki seemed surprised, of course he was, but Kyoya could hear the little layer of spite in Tamaki's voice, oh it almost made him shiver. Tamaki knew how badly Seika hated Haruhi, and although it was inconvenient, hearing Tamaki so bitter was… interesting.

"Yes," Sieka seemed to ignore his tone, she was likely making her attempt to corner him now, "I hope you enjoyed the letter I wrote, I worked very hard on it."

"But you know I'm with Haruhi, you knew…"

"You aren't very close, for a couple, are you? She doesn't even love you, and she boasts about that to your best friend. That has to hurt, are you alright, Tamaki?"

Ooh, cutting where it hurts, Kyoya hadn't expected that but it would definitely help. The shock in Tamaki's voice as he spoke proved that, "but… she…"

Footsteps, Kyoya caught a glimpse of Haruhi passing the room he was hiding in, there she goes. Kyoya almost felt scared, he was hurting her, he was hurting them both. He glanced down at his hands, lipstick smudged on his right thumb, ink on his left forefinger and thumb, a small, half-healed cut on his right hand from when he slipped with the twin's fabric shears. What had happened to him? What was he doing?

But it was too late to stop it now, this should be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Kyoya was doing this, Kyoya was tearing his friends apart… Kyoya was tearing them apart with a smile...

Wow, you're beginning to look really evil…

...guess you're finally showing your true colours.

Wasn't that what Tamaki had said? Looking into Kyoya's eyes after such a weak moment, all he saw was evil? Tamaki had always called Kyoya his best friend, always praised Kyoya's mental fortitude and pointed out any little kindness Kyoya proved he had. Even after all that positive reinforcement, was Kyoya still the same villain Tamaki had laughed at, the same boy who had been pushed to the edge by just a few words from the blonde? Kyoya felt like crying at that revelation, had Tamaki really not had any effect on him? After all this?

He could hear yelling, Haruhi was yelling at Seika, she must be really mad to blow up at her like that… she yelled at Tamaki to go back to the club room. Kyoya should probably make his way back there too, he'd told Tamaki he'd wait there for him. Luckily, Kyoya knew a few shortcuts, so he got there just before Tamaki, waiting outside because he knew the others would be there by now, ready to set up for the next session.

#kyoya ootori #ouran high school host club #tamaki souh #tamakyo #Haruhi Fujioka #Seika Ayanokoji

[momofaddict]

Thanksgiving day this year will be one year since my daughter lost her life to heroin OD. I've lost what little faith I had. I do believe in an afterlife, because the idea of NEVER seeing her again is unfathomable. But God, Heaven, Hell - they just seem like a fairy tale.

It still doesn't feel real, except that it feels very real as I raise her now 18 mo child. I love him with every fiber of my being, but as anyone who reads this knows, my plans for being a relaxed, traveling empty nester are gone. Maybe that's selfish, but I can accept that.

I'm so mad at her for leaving me and especially for leaving her child. I'm mad that my life, as I planned it, is gone. I'm mad that Phoenix's father killed himself 4 days after my daughter's death and I have to explain both deaths to him someday. I'm mad that I will have to face his full-blooded sister one day & explain why she was given up for adoption and Phoenix wasn't. I'm so sad and mad about this whole scenario and I'm so alone as a single woman. I was always happy being divorced since age 23. But now - I could really use the help. That's a hard thing to admit.

What's more is I miss my baby girl. She was my very very VERY best friend. I could be my true self with her, even in her addiction. How can life go on without her contagious laugh, her child-like trust in people, and her unique love for humanity? I can't believe it's been a year. If it weren't for her son, who is in my care until my end of days, I'd be so lost. I mean I'm still lost, but he gives me purpose and a means to press onward.

But while I'm unloading, I may as well admit that it's also difficult when I'm having a hard day. I have to put my happy face on when Phoenix gets home from daycare no matter what kind of wretched day I've had at work, or no matter if I just need to crawl into bed and cry for my daughter. I feel like if I project any kind of negativity around him, we will both be miserable. It's just me. My ex helps a couple days a week, but that means dealing with my ex... whom I left 30 years ago! Not fun, but I'd be an even hotter mess without any help at all.

Oh sure, everyone wanted to help at first when Melody died. But those offers are now silent and it's just me - and my ex. Ugh. I'm just exhausted, and sad, and scared, and alone. I miss her, I miss her, I miss her soooo effen much!

WHY HER!?

I finally started therapy. And I got really lucky and I love my new therapist, and found her on the first try. However... I've only had one session with her in four weeks. Week two, she was sick. Week three, I went to Colorado. Week four, yesterday, she canceled again because she has a friend in the hospital. I fucking need this woman to help me!

I leave you with this tribute that my son posted online on her birthday, Sept 8. She would have been 32. I couldn't have given a better description of her spirit and her adorable childlike naivete:

My sister, Melody, absolutely loved infomercials. It bordered on irrational. One year I received one of those copper pans for Christmas, and while I was happy to get it, she didn't think I understood the gravity of the gift I had just been given. "Do you know what that is?" she asked me at the time with complete sincerity and genuine concern that I didn't quite comprehend what an incredible technological wonder I had been given. "You can melt candy on that."

She absolutely had the HD glasses. They made your vision amazing. OxyClean, sure. Slap Chop, absolutely. It did not matter what was being sold; every product was solid gold, including when it was literally solid gold.

I know it seems silly to bring this up on what would have been her 32nd birthday today, but I think it says something important about her and who she was. She believed in people. It's not that she necessarily believed the products worked as advertised. It's that she believed in the ideas of making things better that they represented, and she believed that the people making the pitch believed in what they were pitching.

She could fully and wholeheartedly empathize with those complete strangers. So much more then, could she love, empathize with and believe in the people lucky enough to know her personally. She was somehow everyone's friend that they talked to on the side of a party or gathering they were starting to feel uncomfortable or out of place at. She made it seem so easy, which is what makes the next part so cruel.

She also suffered from heroin addiction for over a decade. It is the reason I keep using the god forsaken past tense instead of the present.

I have a lot of very bad memories from all of that time. I cried a lot then. I cry a lot still.

Please, if you know someone that suffers from addiction, don't write them off. This is not to say you should enable their addiction. Just encourage rehab and support groups. There are also support groups for friends and family members of people suffering from addiction. Addiction, whether it is to drugs, money, gambling, work, or any other flavor is a disease, and it desperately needs treatment. You don't have to go it alone, and, take it from someone who tried to, you shouldn't. It'll eat you alive.

In the end, though, don't feel sad for me. If you were fortunate enough to know my sister, you probably got, what, a few years? A decade? I got thirty one whole damn years.

I love you, Melody, and I miss you every god damn day.

#addict #addiction #drug addict #narcotics addiction #overdose #na #heroin #narcotics anonymous #grandmother #grandson #custody #adoption #sorrow #grief #all alone

[hobidreams]

Hi Rain!! So sorry this feedback is kinda late, I just feel I needed to really do October 1865 justice cus it was hands down one of my favorites thus far!!! The whole thing, from beginning to end, was so thoughtfully written. Like when she finally dons the pink hanbok and is inspecting her appearance in the mirror and wishing her mom was there for advice/guidance really hit hard. Like she really is all alone in this great big palace with no family and minimal friends. And I find that I’m always

PLS DON’T APOLOGIZE & TAKE ALL MY LOVE INSTEAD AHHHHH 💖💖

rooting for our dear mc, she feels like an underdog to me. Quiet, demure, poised, low ranking, but incredibly sweet and giving. “So far, you’ve begrudgingly won a few scraps of respect from the male physicians, and it’s a start.” LIKE YES GIRL GET IT. And when Yoongie comes to her door to get her?!? The equivalent of a man getting out of the car and walking to your door to pick you up on your date. LOVED IT. 

WAIT I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THIS BUT UR RIGHT LMAOOOO

And the description of his appearance was perfectly detailed- I can imagine exactly what he looks like!! Well done. He truly is “unfathomably handsome.” I especially enjoyed the lil tidbit of the two of them looking suitable for each other despite their marked difference in social status and rank. As if, at least for the night, they’ll look like they belong together. It warms my heart. I love that this Yoongi is still lighthearted with the way he jokes with Eunuch Kim. It’s so nice to see him like this, but continues to make me wonder what else happened to him to change him so drastically??? 

*slow, calculating laughter here* heheh i’m glad u enjoyed the clothing bits though! that’s one of my favorite aspects of the history to research :’)

Her excitement to see the Chuseok festivities is so palpable, and when she realizes “oh god, you just made the prince run” I WAS CACKLING HAHAH and the Jinkook appearace!!!!!!!!!! I WAS HOWLING. I love that you kept the basic appearance of the two from the mv. What a creative way to weave them into the story!!! “the bearded one looks about seconds away from giving the other younger man a good smack with the fishing rod leaning on the wall behind him.” HAHAHA SCREEEEEAM their competitiveness and banter is perfectly written!!! “Yah, you can take your beans and shove them right up your nasty sokgot… I’ll take two orders of each. Preferably not ones shoved anywhere.” I’M ACTUALLY DYING. The dialogue here is hilarious!! 

me: sobbing because humor is so hard & you are so kind T_T

And the way Yoongi passes off the treats to mc and Eunuch Kim!! And when they get mistaken as a couple by her mother’s old friend?!? CLASSIC. I’ve found that old ladies literally give no fucks. I had a patient who would thirst over the same co-worker that I did (and yk, fair, cus he looked like an older, taller JK) She was shameless about it and I wanna be her when I get older haha 

FDSLKDAFS MOOD I WOULD TOO HAHAHAA have u SEEEN JUNGKOOK LATELY??? that BUN? THE SHEER SHIRTS? im D E A D. PHEWW. but seriously old ladies never change, no matter the era HAHAH

ok, but one of the best parts is Eunuch Kim losin his cool over Chun-ja. The way he nearly drops his jeon and is soooo flustered has me so heart eyed for him. I’m so happy to finally be meeting this lucky woman who has ensnared our beloved Eunuch Kim’s heart!! And those letters?! Ugh, I am so fond of hand-written letters. They’re so nostalgic and personal and no one seems to do it anymore. 

heh i’m glad u like letters because-- oop i wont say anything more ;)

Don’t think I didn’t notice that Yoongi chose the bracelet she was eyeing. But are we gonna see him give it to her?? Or does he just secretly have it slipped into her room, cus that would be SUCH a yoongi thing to do. My favorite part though, if I HAD TO CHOSE, was probably the ending scene at the pond. I feel like this is the first time they’ve had the chance to have a REAL conversation. And how her theory that some things in the world are out of their control but can change in their favor if they never give up. Seems like it parallels their predicament perfectly. 

you may be the only person who’s picked up on that conversation FDASLJKAS but yes, it truly is ;-; i absolutely adore those quiet moments between the two of them & writing this one was... phew a ride and a half. there’s a lot of subtext there 🤣

But I need to know!!! WHAT DID THEY WISH FOR?! 

iono 🤭 (youll find out later)

Ugh sweet Yoongi is killing me. I love him, but damn knowing what he’ll become in the next few years has me heart broken. As always, well done Rain. What a chapter to come home to after a long weekend of work!! I’m so appreciative of your writing. Your page is always such a safe and comforting space. Your positivity and kindness really reinforce my idea that you’re a wonderful human being. I hate that you had rude ass anons leaving their trash comments in your asks. As King Yoongi would say, “they’re peasants!” fuck the haters, bubs, and keep shining. You’re a fantastic writer, and I hope that you keep writing what inspires you, and deliver it the way you want!! I know I’ve said it before, but I feel I need to say it again, but I LOVE the way you decided to present MLT. I LOVE the drabbles and the timeline. It’s unique and fresh and will always remind me of MLT. ILYSM, Rain!! As always, please accept all my love and adoration!

sighhh you are so so so lovely. thank you for taking all this time out of your busy life to send me this. it just warms my entire heart. please don’t worry abt my anons; they’ve actually been pretty nice!! i havent ever had a mean anon ever in my inbox or anyone purposefully being cruel in my comments so my frustration was more at seeing how my friends are contiuously disrespected for providing their FREE content. AGH. and they get rebuked if they reply with annoyance, which they deserve to do after being pestered over and over again!!! someone said they had 20 asks in their inbox asking for updates and AGGGGHHH !!! that makes me wanna tear those anons a new one. but anyway. it’s wonderful people like you that keep us going & i wish i had a better way of giving you my gratitude because it doesn’t feel like enough. thank you 😭💗 pls take this happy boy and i hope you have the fantastic day you deserve!!!!

#lcksndkys #rain reply #ily ily ily #moonlit throne

[fraink5-writes]

Blue Ceiling - Tablet I

I’m back--again! This time I present to you an Epic of Gilgamesh/Little Mermaid fusion AU, featuring Gilgamesh (as himself) and Kingu (because he needs love)!

Thanks to @leio13 for editing!

Summary: Expecting to become king of the merpeople as son of Tiamat, Kingu is suddenly forced to give up his tail and to go the surface to restore humanity's disregarded respect for the Goddess of the Sea. However, he severely underestimates the Uruks' willpower, especially that of their stubborn king, Gilgamesh.

This chapter can also be found on Ao3 here. Without further ado, please enjoy!

Small bubbles floated past Kingu’s vision towards the distant, blue ceiling. He didn’t bother to follow them once they left his vision. How foolish, he scoffed. What’s so good up there? Before they would disappear beyond the water’s surface, they would undoubtedly disappear from Kingu’s memory. So insignificant, they weren’t worth even his pity. Of course, Kingu had so much unused pity that he could afford to give them a brief farewell as they left his world.

Kingu hadn’t the slightest idea what would happen to the bubbles when they reached the top. Would they drift along the waves like the boats he had heard about? Would they grow in size, filled with the outside air? Regardless, like all things that went up, they would never come back down.

However, Kingu’s curiosity quickly returned to the expanse of blue which stretched limitlessly in almost every direction. The unreachable haze was the nebula of his imagination, and often he would sit at the outskirts of his city and think about dissolving into the current and leaving behind his boring, everyday life. 

Unlike the surrounding ocean, the city Atargata was completely stagnant. The population had hardly changed since its foundation. Because merpeople could not die of natural causes, most of the civilization’s founders still lived in the city and occupied the same civil positions they had from the beginning. Without fear of extinction, reproduction was completely unnecessary. 

For that reason, the news of the king’s passing by a human hunting incident came as a huge surprise, and the news that Kingu would replace him, an even bigger one. The population did not hesitate to make their discomfort known to Kingu, constantly arguing over who would “actually” become the sovereign. Kingu laughed at this useless activity, for none of those contentious fossils could ever be king. Kingu, on the other hand, was born to be king. He had been created by the mother goddess Tiamat to freshen the stale waters and guide them away from their old-fashioned ways. 

Kingu threw one more glance at his unreachable, endless horizon, sighed, and trudged into the city.

***

Atargata was a grid of searock. Due to the currents, the buildings lay flat at only one story. Instead the city slowly stretched across the sandy floor. Despite its boring foundation, the city was bustling with color and life; every wall was decorated with a coral mosaic, which had grown into an entirely separate community of fish. Far from an invasion, the mercommunity had accepted their right to live there and simply left them be. Kingu admired the way they swam peacefully in their large communities—no fighting, no competition. They were undoubtedly the best inhabitants of the city.

Kingu was thoughtlessly watching the school which passed through the market, blissfully aware of the carnage of fish for sale, when his imagination was interrupted.

“Oh, if it isn't Kingu. How strange seeing you here.” The snooty voice belonged to Atargata’s no. 1 diva, Ishtar. Her lips curled, excited by the storm of insults that brewed between them. “Shouldn't your mommy being doing the groceries?”

“She isn't my ‘mommy,’ and I'm not a kid. In fact—”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it. You're going to be king. You know, a king shouldn't throw a temper tantrum because of a little teasing.” With her hand waiting impatiently on her ruby-scaled hip, Ishtar’s eyes danced; Kingu’s resentment fueled them like oxygen to a flame.

Kingu wanted to smother them. He said nothing.

“Huh? Are you going to ignore me?” Ishtar folded her arms. “I’m giving you good advice, you know. That was like elementary school teasing. If you can’t even take that…”

“Aren’t you too old for child’s play?” Kingu returned his disappointment with his gaze.

“Excuse me! I am not that old.”

“And I’m not a child.” Kingu turned away, hoping to return to his business with the fish.

“Jeez… it's all because of that witch…” A muttered comment, only half-intended for Kingu to hear.

“She's not a witch. She was a mermaid too.”

“She's a traitor, flirting with humans.”

That's not—Kingu didn't know enough to say it wasn't true. But Gorgon, the supposed sea monster, hated humans. She would have never flirted with them, Kingu was certain.

Ishtar sighed. “You may be a brat, but you're still a merman. You should be on our side, not that monster's.”

“It's because you’re irresponsible..” Kingu had been holding that comment back longer than he had even realized. “All of you are too self-centered. Only Gorgon tried to take care of me.”

“Well.” Ishtar's face scrunched with displeasure. “If you're insistent on being on her side in spite of everything, then I assume you're prepared to take responsibility for her, ‘future king?’ What do you plan to do about the human issue?”

Kingu couldn't care less about the humans. As long as they remained on land, they were outside of his little world. Completely irrelevant. “What issue?” he asked, feigning the vaguest interest.

“‘What issue?’ Ugh! Does anything matter to you outside of your moody internal monologue?! It's the lack of respect! The humans have forgotten their origins and parading around like they're kings of the world!”

“Does it matter? The opinions of something so insignificant such as humanity shouldn't mean anything to our civilization. Let them think what they want. They are just fools.”

“Hah, so you're not on the side of humans either.” Ishtar looked surprisingly delighted. “You really are naive. If you want to be treated seriously, you should find out where you want to be.”

***

“You can just ignore her,” Gorgon spat, baring her fangs at an enemy who wasn't there. “Her head's just inflated because of her little cult. Even her fellow council members know she's just an idiot. So, you don't need to worry about her becoming king.”

“Of course I don't.” Kingu hastily dismissed the idea, which had never once crossed his mind. “The only one who will become king is me. It's my destiny.”

“Yes, that too.” Gorgon's sharp, purple eyes stared King up and down then drifted in the direction of the city. She grimaced. “Say, Kingu, why do want to be the king of those people, anyway?”

That should have been such a simple question—it was his duty to lead the people—yet it brought him to a halt. Indeed, he had no desire to rule those people; he hated them. But he had never questioned his own resolve to rule over them, and he wouldn't start then.

“I know what you're thinking, Gorgon. They're stupid and selfish, cruel and jealous. But that's why they need someone like me. I will mercilessly teach them how to behave.”

“That's quite a forgiving offer for such a despicable bunch,” Gorgon muttered, bloodlust seeping from every scale which covered her body.

That bloodlust was Gorgon's greatest flaw, Kingu thought. It'd really do her some good to let some of it go, or at least conceal it better. The rumors about Gorgon which had been circling around town since the previous king's death were not completely implausible, he had to admit. For his part, Kingu was certain that his suffering would be repaid in due time without needless acts of violence. Tiamat was on his side after all.

“Right?” He grinned. “They should try to be more like me!”

***

When Kingu next returned to the city, he had already forgotten about Ishtar and any other annoying face which plagued his usual visits. He ignored even the schools of fish as he swam through them, for his eyes were set on only one thing: the grand temple at the center of Atargata. The temple of Tiamat stood taller and more colorful than anywhere else, and because no person dared enter it, it was a bustling haven for fish. This time, however, Kingu had an invitation, so it could hardly be called intruding.

Inside, the corridors of the temple echoed with a doleful song. Although unfamiliar, the voice filled Kingu with an unplaceable nostalgia and an unfathomable sorrow. Without knowing the cause of her grieving, Kingu vowed to resolve it. 

The still figure of Tiamat was the eye of the storm of fish which, driven by her music, raced around the hall. Yet she was blind to her surroundings. Her song had wrapped her protectively, sheltering her from the saddening world outside. 

“Mother, I’ve come as you requested,” Kingu barely whispered, awed by the scene before him. 

“It is a truly grievous situation.” Tiamat’s eyes stared into a world beyond Kingu’s small one. He could see nothing in their nebulous purple. But her wordless song he clearly understood; it spoke directly to his heart. It ached with loneliness as it pleaded. Who could allow such sorrow? Kingu scorned the apathy of people and fish alike. But Kingu was different from those ungrateful people; he would do his utmost to heal her grieving heart.

“What can I do to help? Please tell me.”

Kingu’s heart stopped with Tiamat’s melody. She spoke with a soft voice. “The humans have forgotten me, their mother. They continue without thinking of the sea, of their roots.”

...The humans? As Tiamat’s singing vacated his mind, confusion seeped in. Of course, the humans are the most ungrateful of them all—above all, completely unaware of their insignificance. If Kingu’s enemy was humans, it would undoubtedly be an easy task. 

“How arrogant—those pathetic humans. They will no doubt rue their pride.”

“You must go up there and amend their ways, teach them reverence for their mother. Their young king, Gilgamesh, is especially insolent; you must correct him.”

The words repeated ad infinitum in Kingu’s head, blurring into meaningless but maddening sounds. He exhaled to clear all the clutter. “How should I do that?” The question floated in his vicinity, afraid to get an answer from Tiamat.

“You must join them. Become human. They won’t listen to anyone else.” 

The words knocked Kingu like a strong current, and he struggled to regain himself. He could not imagine being a human. To become human was to abandon his home, his aspirations, his pride. Kingu was a merman; to discard that was to discard his identity altogether. The possibility of becoming human had never crossed Kingu’s mind, yet suddenly, it was his reality. Even if he still had his emerald tail, Tiamat’s words had stripped him of his mermanhood on the spot. 

“Once you’re human, you must never mention your origins to anyone. You must live completely as a human.”

It was so lonely. He had been alone for most of his life, but never had he felt true loneliness, the kind that caused Tiamat to sing. It filled his heart with solid lead. “And when I’ve finished my mission…?” He choked out.

“I have arranged your meeting with the human king. There will be a storm on the waves; you must meet him then.” Tiamat’s song started again with the swirl of fish, signalling the end of their conversation.

As Kingu left the temple, the sorrowful melody chased after his tail.

***

Kingu held his breath before breaking through the water’s surface. The outside world was just gray. Gloomy, voluminous gases hung in the air as far as he could see, and water poured from the sky. Even the ocean was, from the top, a shifting surface of darkness, wave after wave trying to topple Kingu and throw him back underneath. He had never imagined water could be this unpleasant.

But the air was worse. Each breath was an inhalation of poison, scorching his throat. Yet, he kept inhaling—faster and faster. His lungs heaved, quickly moving the toxin in and out. But something wasn’t enough. Faster and faster. His heart raced to keep up. 

“King Gilgamesh!” The sound of a voice stopped Kingu’s breathing entirely. It came from a medium-sized vessel which swayed drunkenly atop the angry seas. Standing proudly at one of the curved ends was the only color in the depressing scene: a golden human. His short hair shone as golden as his armor. That man could only be the king.

The lustrous man disappeared under the waves along with his vessel. 

Oh. Kingu had to rescue him. As a mere human, the golden man could not breath underwater and would quickly die. How pathetic. Such weak lungs. It was probably more convenient to just let the human die. He was the source of their problems, after all. If the humans lost their insolent leader, maybe they would relearn their respect. What value did this human have which was worth saving?

Despite himself, Kingu dived back below the surface of the waves and sped after the human king. But the sinking human had already lost consciousness by the time Kingu had caught up to him. Hoping he was still alive somehow, Kingu grabbed him and raced to the surface. No response. Kingu needed to find land somehow. In the distance, he made out a faint moving light. Maybe it was the sun. In any case, it meant calmer water, so he pulled the body towards it. 

As the storm began clearing, Kingu realized the light was actually from a peculiar tower on the beach. But his surprise was drowned out by his relief at finding land. He threw the human on the ground and waited for him to wake. 

Maybe it was better if the human didn’t wake up. He was the greatest obstacle to Kingu’s objective. Instilling fear in the other humans would be easier if this one wasn’t around. And, at least, Kingu could say that he tried to save him. But then Kingu’s rescue attempt would have been in vain... 

In any case, it was out of Kingu’s hands. He decided to study the surrounding area to take his mind off the stress of waiting. So this was the land where he was forced to live. The sand, or so he figured, was a grainy substance the color of the human’s hair that stuck grossly to his wet skin. Beyond the beach, far in the distance, there seemed to be a stone wall. 

Before he could get a better look, Kingu’s attention was grabbed by the human next to him, who had begun to cough. Seriously? You’re on land now. If you humans can’t even breathe on land, what good are you? Kingu scoffed at the human as water sputtered from his lips. But if there was water still inside the human, then, Kingu realized, it was up to him to draw it out somehow. Reluctantly, he leaned in for a closer inspection. He had no idea how to deal with humans—much less a drowning person.. If he turned him over, would the water come out?

During his increasingly panicked contemplation, Kingu was startled by two ruby-colored eyes which stared at him. His heart skipped a beat upon realizing he had never been so close to a human before. He couldn’t move; the bright eyes, which had locked their gaze after a final coughing fit, commanded him to be still.

“Who…” The human began. His eyes drifted down from Kingu’s face. “...Are you?”

Kingu felt he had no choice but to follow that stare. There. Long, fleshy, and undeniably human. Legs? Since when? Kingu’s mind went white. 

When Kingu came to his senses, the man, who had slithered out from underneath him, was scowling. Nevertheless, he extended a hand in Kingu’s direction. 

Kingu could only stare blankly at the strangely amical gesture before he was ripped from the ground and placed on his feet. 

It hurt. Kingu’s new feet were brittle; they could break just from the weight of his own body. He immediately toppled over. The human grabbed him with another groan and started to drag him towards the wall. Kingu, unsure of what to do with his new legs, tried to imitate his helper, but it was too painful. One foot in front of the other. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt. 

Water droplets began welling up in the corners of Kingu’s eyes. Was this what it meant to cry? The tears which rolled down Kingu’s cheeks and met his lips were warm and salty. It was a miserable taste.

***

The walk through the city was lost on Kingu, whose consciousness was largely suppressed by the pain. But somehow he and the man he had rescued ended up in front of a decently sized brick building. It was someone’s home, Kingu guessed.

“Shamhat!” The blonde man barked.

After a minute or two of shuffling sounds, a human woman appeared at the doorway. “I’m sorry for the indecency, your majesty. I was with a customer.”

Kingu found nothing indecent about the woman. Wearing a plain, white dress, she had a simple but radiant beauty. Her brown hair shimmered green in the reappearing sunlight.

“Not anymore,” the man quickly dismissed. “I’m leaving this man to you.”

The woman, Shamhat presumably, eyed Kingu up and down then smiled coyly at him before turning back to the human king. “Yes, your majesty.”

“Also, fetch me a fresh pair of clothing before I go.”

“Of course.” Shamhat’s inspection had completely moved to the man’s sopping garments. “... What happened?”

“I’ll explain later. Just hurry up. Take him with you.” 

Having no control in the manner, Kingu was thrown harshly at Shamhat, who caught him surprisingly gently and eased him into the home and onto a bed. She quickly hurried off after that, giving Kingu a few minutes to reflect on what happened. 

He had rescued the human king, Gil… Gil-something and was taken to a mysterious woman’s home. He couldn’t make much sense of anything beyond that. 

He had legs now. Although the bed was a significant relief compared to standing, just the thought of his new legs sent him a painful shock. He never wanted to walk again. How could the humans do it every day, all day? They were undeterred to the point of foolishness. 

Shamhat returned and sat near the head of the bed. “Here you go.” Taking a cloth, she wiped Kingu’s cheeks. Apparently, tears still lingered. How embarrassing. To hide or at least avoid looking at Shamhat, Kingu turned his cheek. This action only made Shamhat giggle, so Kingu gave up and turned to face her. With a small smile, Shamhat seemed to be more than a human. Her unparallelled kindness and beauty could not be attributed to the selfish and arrogant humans.

“How are you feeling?” Shamhat asked. “Do you have a name?”

Shamhat’s gentleness had caused Kingu to drop his guard and he blurted out his name.

“So you can talk!”

Kingu nodded, aware of the irony, but he was too busy planning his next responses to the questions which would inevitably follow. He couldn’t slip up again.

“I’m relieved to know that. So then, Kingu, where are you from?”

“I don’t remember…” Kingu’s voice faded away with feigned shame. 

“You don’t remember?” Shamhat questioned him. “That’s troubling… What do you remember?”

“When I came to, I could only remember my name, Kingu.”

“Oh my!” Shamhat pursed her lips but quickly went back to smiling. “Well, that’s a good place to start!” Then she added, “Are you hungry? What foods do you like?” 

The question troubled Kingu, who hadn’t the slightest knowledge of the human diet. As he racked his brain, Shamhat chimed in again, “How about bread?” With a nod from Kingu (what did he know about bread?), Shamhat disappeared into a different room.

“Anyway.” Shamhat quickly returned with the strange food, apparently called bread. “I heard you can't walk; is this true?”

“Yes.” Kingu's voice was tinged with bitterness leftover from his miserable experience.

Shamhat blinked as though surprised Kingu confirmed her beliefs. “Then, how did you rescue King Gilgamesh?”

Even Kingu couldn't adequately explain that one. “I don't know. By chance?”

Shamhat inspected him. “Well, I'm very grateful, as is all of Uruk, I'm sure.”

“What kind of person is uh Gilguhh…”

“King Gilgamesh? He is an awe-inspiring person. Uruk's greatest king. He is responsible for the city's grandeur, its prosperity, and its safety. We owe our calm and happy everyday lives to him. And to you. If you had not saved him earlier, we would have been in trouble. So thank you. Thank you from every citizen of Uruk."

Kingu was ashamed to admit he understood her reasoning. When Atargata's previous king died unexpectedly, the city was taken over by chaos. They were disturbingly similar to humans in that regard. Kingu scoffed at himself. Why was he saving the human kingdom? He had to hurry back home and fix things in his own city.

#Fate series #Fate/Grand Order #Gilkingu #Gilgamesh #Kingu #Tiamat #Ishtar #Gorgon #Shamhat

[lady-alayne]

Game of Thrones: An Angry Recap

Season 7 Episode 5: Eastwatch

Winterfell:

Bran wargs a bunch of birds, sees that the army of the dead are approaching, and concludes that maybe it's time to tell people. Wait, what? The Night's Watch have been trying to tell people this since Season 1 Episode One 0:00:00 sec, but only now that a creepy kid is saying it, people are beginning to believe it? Ugh.

Meanwhile... Ohhhhh, Sansa is ruling the North like a pro! After the King in the North left the North to go shack up with some blonde emo chick with a bunch of dangerous pets, the Northern Lords are not too pleased about their ruler and go to his trueborn sister, WHO SHOULD BE THE QUEEN IN THE NORTH ANYWAY, to complain. They are joined by the Vale Lords, who for some reason 1) are still hanging out at Winterfell (who's holding the Vale at this point??? Shouldn't the hill tribes have taken over the Vale by now???) and 2) suddenly remember that they came in to help Sansa and not Jon, even though they had no problem proclaiming him King in the North last season instead of Sansa, WHO IS NED STARK'S OLDEST LIVING CHILD AND HEIR AND THE ONE THEY CAME IN TO RESCUE I'M STILL BITTER.

So anyway, the Northern and Vale Lords complain about their brand new king leaving them all. It's a brilliant opportunity for Sansa to do what she does best, which is being diplomatic and wonderful and handling explosive situations with charm, but also not taking anyone's shit. I would say Petyr has taught her well, but then I remember that Petyr never taught Sansa in the show because D&D decided to rape her instead, and I am angry again. Ugh. So apparently Sansa just picked these things up along the way, because the FIRST RULE OF STRONG FEMALE CHARACTERS(TM) dictates that being abused and raped always makes you a stronger woman, and is generally a wonderful thing for your character development.

Speaking of empowered abused women! Arya is not really on board with Sansa being the flawless Queen she is. Even though Ed Sheeran and his friends were super nice to her like three episodes ago, she still believes killing people is always the best way to solve problems and wastes no time suggesting just that to Sansa. The two sisters naturally disagree over this, and this ends in a very petty fight that came out of nowhere and made absolutely no sense but I guess the plot commanded it so of course it's perfectly acceptable and yet another reason why D&D totally deserve all the Emmys. Wait here while I go scream into a pillow.

Also screaming into her pillow, I am quite certain, is Random Northern Girl, who is the newest piece in Littlefinger's game. I mean, did you see how she leaned in when she was talking to him? That beautiful face of his will stay in her thoughts for a while, I am sure. Not to mention that she was close enough to smell him. Random Northern Girl, you're living the dream.

It turns out Littlefinger is kind of back to his old self again, and trying to scheme his way onto the Iron Throne and/or into Sansa's skirts. He super discreetly and not suspiciously at all obtains a very mysterious letter and hides it in his room to use that letter... to bring forth the Long Night, probably, because Petyr is so evil, according to people on the internet. (So it must be true.) But oh no! He forgot about Arya! That psycho killer child knows how to lurk! And how to break into his chambers! And how to search his chambers! Whooooaaa!!!! We find out the mysterious and suspicious letter was sent by Sansa wayyyy back in Season 1, asking Robb to come to King's Landing and bend the knee to Joffrey. BUT IT WAS A DOUBLE LURK YOU GUYS!!! Because just as Arya is leaving Petyr's chambers we find out that while he was suspiciously being suspicious and Arya was suspiciously lurking and watching him, he was suspiciously lurking and watching her suspiciously lurking and watching him suspiciously being suspicious! I'm so glad Petyr is back to his old, scheming self before he will inevitably meet his doom in two episodes.

The Reach:

Jaime has survived his fall into the lake, because apparently Bronn dived in right behind him and dragged him out. Seriously? So Jaime's armor does not weigh anything??? After we explicitly read in the books that knights who fall into bodies of water always drown because their armor is dragging them down? Oh, but I forgot, the show and the books are not the same.

A few miles down the road, and...

Oh boy. Daenerys is not done with her humanitarian mission, and rallies the surviving Lannister soldiers to “give them a choice:” Bend the knee, or burn alive. “I'm not here to murder,” she tells them after having murdered a bunch of people. “Now bend the knee before I murder you.”

Most of the soldiers bend the knee because, OF COURSE THEY WOULD, THEY DID NOT HAVE A CHOICE. Not so Randyll Tarly, who politely explains that he has moral concerns bending the knee to a foreign woman who just flew in on a mystical killer dragon and torched a bunch of people. Tyrion, who is... also there for some reason, urges Dany to chill the fuck out and maybe let him go to the wall, but Dany refuses to do so. Classic, and how very kind of her. I can totally see why people would want to follow her!

I wonder what happened to those other people who bent the knee. Did they have to follow Dany to Dragonstone? Or were they free to go home? Is anyone keeping track of the people who have bent the knee? Would it be possible to just bend the knee to avoid getting murdered, and then go back to King's Landing and rejoin the Lannister army?

Not to mention that we kept hearing about Randyll Tarly being a dick for, like, 6 seasons, and now he's the only man who still uses his brain and genuinely cares about his son beyond the “You shall be my heir” minimum. Speaking of his son... DICKON DID NOT DESERVE THIS. Rest in peace, House Tarly. Also, HOW DID DROGON KNOW WHO TO INCINERATE AND WHO TO SPARE???

Dragonstone:

Dany returns from her humanitarian mission of burning people, and it's heaving petting with Jon! Well, he pets Drogon, but close enough; Dany is turned on enough as it is. Jon chides her for murdering all those people, and Dany respons that she only killed them so she could help them. So she murdered out of love! That makes it totally acceptable.

Dany is just about to ask Jon about his res-erection, when Jorah returns AND IT HURTS WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HIM HAVING GREYSCALE ANYWAY AND HE IMMEDIATELY RUNS BACK TO HER AND IT HURTS TO WATCH HIM FRIENDZONE HIMSELF OVER AND OVER. He explains he found a cure for greyscale, one of the most deadly diseases known, and everyone is like, “Read: 2:53 pm.”

Jon Snow's only words to Jorah are that he served with his father, thus once again reminding everyone that he was A MEMBER OF THE NIGHT'S WATCH, and NO ONE thinks of asking him how he could possibly be King in the North, given that, you know, members of the Night's Watch vow to WEAR NO CROWNS AND WIN NO GLORY.

Meanwhile, Tyrion and Varys get drunk in the throne room and bond over their mutual predicament of serving a pretty mad tyrant queen who burns people alive when they displease her. A raven scroll reaches Jon, and he finds out Arya is still alive. ARYA, the girl he gave needle to. ARYA, his favorite sister. ARYA, the one he literally died for. But Jon seems to have forgotten all that, because all he wants to do is catch a wight! Oh dear, that sounds like a very stupid idea. Also, can we please talk about that camera angle? Was that the Dany going down on Jon POV shot? Yikes.

And so Jon and the gang make their way to Eastwatch...

King's Landing:

Jaime returns to Cersei, and the two hold an impromptu war council. “This isn't a war we can win,” concludes Jaime, which makes Cersei wonder about a possible armistice. Jaime also tells Cersei that it was Olenna who killed Joffrey because...... she wanted to be the true ruler of the Seven Kingdoms?!?!?!?! FOR FUCK'S SAKE. IS EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER ON GOT TRYING TO BECOME RULER OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS????? And thus Olenna sadly joins the other cardboard cutouts of “generic person who wants the Iron Throne because reasons.” Queen of Thornes, you were deeper than that.

A little while later Davos and Tyrion have teleported to King's Landing and Tyrion sneaks into the dungeons beneath the Red Keep for a little brotime with Jaime to convince him to let them have an audience with Cersei once they have caught a wight. For a reason unfathomable by me, Bronn knew all of this before and thus was able to lure Jaime into the dungeons for this. Logic!(TM)

The brothers agree on an armistice, and Jaime brings Cersei the good news that Dany is not planning on incineratingher in the near future. Cersei also shares her good news: She's pregnant, and she will reveal her twincest, and then the family will live happily ever after! Aww, romance is real.

Meanwhile, Davos is on a tour through Flea Bottom looking for someone, and then.... IT'S GENDRY, YOU GUYS!!! He did not row all the way across the sunset sea, he rowed straight back to King's Landing and into his old job! While casual show watchers try to remember who the fuck Gendry was, snobby book readers rejoice when they see his badass war hammer; just like the one his dad good ole King Robert used to fight with (except Robert's war hammer was probably not so obviously made out of plastic).

Gendry joins the band because HE WANTS REVENGEEEE ON THE LANNISTERS, once again underlining the message of Game of Thrones: Violence begets violence, and it's awesome! GRRM would be turning in his grave. What's that, you say? He isn't dead? Then where is The Winds of Winter??????

Speaking of violence, Gendry immediately puts that war hammer to use to mindlessly kill two gold cloaks who are admittedly a bit nose, but in no way nosy enough to deserve such a cruel death. RIP Member of the City Watch #1, and RIP Member of the City Watch #2.

Oldtown:

OH MY GOD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. WHAT THE FUCK. D&D JUST DECIDE TO CASUALLY MENTION THAT RHAEGAR GOT AN ANNULMENT FROM ELIA LIKE IT'S NO BIG DEAL. OH MY GOD. I THOUGHT THE WHOLE “SAM FINDING A CURE FOR GREYSCALE IN EPISODE 2” THING WAS THE MOST RIDICULOUS PLOT COMING OUT OF OLDTOWN BUT THAT WAS BEFORE THE WHOLE “RHAEGAR GOT AN ANNULMENT FROM ELIA” THING.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????? AN ANNULLMENT. AN ANNULMENT?????? RHAEGAR WAS MARRIED TO ELIA OF DORNE AND THEY HAD CHILDREN AND IT WAS ALSO A POLITICAL ALLIANCE FORGED FOR VARIOUS POLITICAL REASONS. IT'S NOT LIKE RHEAGAR AND ELIA GOT DRUNK MARRIED IN LAS VEGAS TWO DAYS BEFORE. THEY HAD A LEGIT WEDDING CEREMONY AND THEY HAD CHILDREN. YOU CAN'T JUST ANNUL A MARRIAGE BECAUSE, OH, YOU MET SOMEONE HOTTER A WEEK AGO. OH MY GOD. NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Eastwatch:

Davos is really teleporting all over the map this episode, and he reaches Eastwatch after a short row in a tiny little rowboat. I guess that was because the sea is generally so smooth in winter, and not frozen at all. Jon and gang sit down to talk to Tormund about Operation Catch a Wight, and he is understandably not convinced, but eventually decides to give them a little help by hosting a quick speed dating round of men wanting to go beyond the wall, which—surprise!—includes the Hound and Beric Dondarrion! Reunion #2556123 in Season 7 alone!

Because they are all breathing, the men decide to set aside their differences, and embark on their next adventure. Let's hope Jon makes it back in time for the epic boat sex.

#game of thrones #got an angry recap #game of thrones recap #anti d&d #got negativity

[amorremanet]

Arthur/moody, lucius/moody, lupin/snape?

the brutally honest ship opinions game

Arthur/Moody: ……okay, like, I have basically no positive feelings about Alastor Moody — I mean, I feel the same need to defend him from JKR’s ableist garbage that accidentally got me in too deep with Lockhart, but we are still talking about a guy who supports using Dementors on people and apparently dngaf about what someone’s done, just send ‘em all to fucking Azkaban (GOF ch. 30, the flashback of Moody we see in the first Pensieve scene)

who thinks that the best present you could give to a kid who’s lost his parents and just watched a classmate be murdered…… is going over a photo of the First War Order and telling him about how all of them died horribly and he doesn’t ever stop to think that this might not be the best idea (OOTP)

and who is legitimately less sensitive to other people’s needs and less dismissive of people who aren’t his exact model of “useful” than a literal fucking Death Eater one of the biggest points where Barty Crouch Jr. drops character in GOF is when he takes Neville to his office and gives him a pro-Herbology pep-talk, and goes, “so, hey, Longbottom, Professor Sprout said you’re super-good at this subject, why not pursue it,” because based on the actual canon about him? The real Alastor Moody would never do something like that.

Like, he might have the moment he has with Harry and Hermione, where he goes, “so, hey, both of you could be gr10 aurors if you wanted, you should think about it” because that, from Moody, would be a compliment, and Harry and Hermione more closely fit his own ideas of usefulness, but not so much the Neville moment)

—but seriously, do you hate him or something? Why else would you even dream of shipping him with Arthur Weasley? (okay, fine, I acquiesce that there is enough of a canonical basis for some people to roll with here, and I myself have made ships out of far less…… but seriously, why would you ship anybody with Arthur Weasley. Like…… wow, rude.)

Lucius/Moody: again, I’m not on the Alastor Moody fan-train or anything, but why would you even do this. Nobody deserves to be shipped with Lucius Malfoy, like? He’s not even an entertaining villain, he’s just pathetic. He’s a sad, pathetic fantasy-fascist who gets his kicks by bullying twelve-year-olds and torturing muggles who can’t defend themselves. He’s a complete waste of character space and forcing anyone to be in a ship with him is just unfathomably cruel

Lupin/Snape: meh, whatever. Like, it’s not my thing, but… *shrugs* meh?

Like, idk what you’re looking for here, nonny, but I’m guessing, based on the other two ships, that you’re looking for me to get cranky and ship-bashy and figured that Snu//pin was a good way to get there, since there are a lot of legitimate Problems with this ship in the text

But the thing is, I’m just under 900 years old (at least in fandom terms), and I remember the days back before HBP came out, when Snu//pin was the second-most popular Remus ship (after Wolfstar, to the surprise of no one), and was, in fact, so popular that it had its own private archive and got black-listed from most rarepair comms because it, “wasn’t really rare, just less popular than D//rarry, Wolfstar, Ro//mione, Dra//mione, H//inny, and J//ily”

—I mean, there was a short stretch before OOTP where I tried to make myself like it because there was a BNF whose art I loved, and she shipped Snu//pin, so I felt like I had to be missing something obvious and cool and because I was, like, twelve, I tried to make myself ship the thing. That didn’t work and I eventually just moved on, but one thing that I recall about the Snu//pin fandom that appears to still be more or less true, based on everything I’ve seen of the present-day Snu//pin fandom?

Is that they came out about the same as the Wolfstar fandom, in terms of how many shippers ignored or made excuses for #Problematic things about the ship vs. how many shippers work those things into the overall fabric of how they ship the thing, how many shippers LIKE the ship because of those Problematic parts and having the opportunity to explore them in fiction, how many shippers actively dive head-first into exploring those parts of the ships because that’s where they find the most engaging character interactions or whatever they’re into, etc.

For examples of what I mean when I say #Problematic things about the ships:

the fact that all three of them are self-loathing [human or werewolf] disasters who are often passively suicidal and either prone to acting out on those feelings (Sirius and Severus), or prone to repressing those feelings until they explode all over some innocent bystanders (Remus)

the fact that all three of them have suffered horrific abuse in their pasts — whether from their parents or other sources — and find ways to take it out on other people (Severus on his students, Sirius on Severus and Kreacher, and Remus on almost anyone who tries to get close to him, even as he makes it seem like he isn’t doing that)

Severus outing Remus as a werewolf because he’s upset and felt like punishing someone else for it, thereby leading to Remus tendering his resignation

the fact that Sirius assuming Remus had to be the spy would’ve been at least partially based on anti-werewolf prejudices, and Sirius still clearly had at least some of those prejudices on his own, because even if Peter totally manipulated them in his favor, there had to be something there for Peter to manipulate in the first place, so???

the fact that Remus doesn’t help shit anything, in any situation ever, with his habit of trying to weasel out of any Emotionally Difficult™ conversations and his tendency to mentally spin most situations so that everyone is going to leave him in the end anyway so it’s acceptable to shut down, close himself off, and pull stunts that more or less come down to, “totally up and bailing on everyone,” which is understandable, given his backstory, but dude, that doesn’t make it okay or helpful??

basically, “literally anything about the characters as individuals, or in terms of their interactions with each other — both past and present — that could potentially cause problems for either/both/any/all of them and potentially make the relationship unhealthy (or unhealthier than it already was, in the cases of Snu//pin and Snack because…… oh boy, let’s not even act like either of those — or any ship with Sev in it, for that matter — is ever going to be ‘healthy’ by any definition)”

So, like? Is Snupin #Problematic? Yes, definitely. Are some of its shippers prone to ship it in #Problematic ways? Oh, yes, absolutely (Hell, the BNF whose art I used to like even flat-out said things like, “Sirius would never be able to be there for Remus like Snape could” and… um? Even granted that this was pre-OOTP: ummm???)

But on the whole, Snu//pin shippers aren’t actually any worse about totally ignoring and/or excusing these elements of their ship than Wolfstar shippers are (and, actually, they might be doing better than a LOT of the present-day Wolfstar fandom, since I usually don’t see any more recently made Snu//pin that doesn’t grapple with at least some of the #Problematic elements of it — they don’t always do it well, but at least they’re trying, which counts for a lot, to me, because most people don’t even try — while most Wolfstar these days flat-out ignores all the #Problematic elements of Sirius and Remus as characters, and of their relationship, in the name of what often amounts to borderline-OOC caricatured fanon nonsense, so…)

(……Look, I love Wolfstar, and I have for longer than some people on this website have been alive. But I don’t love a lot of Wolfstar shippers, which has been the case since the beginning of my Wolfstar shipping

stayed the case when HBP came out and I was all, “Hey, guys? I don’t like this BS Remus/Tonks thing either, but can we NOT erase bisexuals or treat Tonks like garbage when we’re talking about it, it’s not her fault that Molly Weasley is a meddling nosy garbage buttinski who thinks it’s her job to play matchmaker to fully-grown adults who didn’t ask and don’t want her input,”

and is still the case as I’m over here, all like, “ugh, man, at least we used to have SOME people in this fandom who enjoyed reading Wolfstar angst, now it seems like nobody cares about anything unless it’s all fluff, all the time, with absolutely no room for anything else because god forbid you ever want to write about LGBTQ characters whose lives aren’t 5,000% perfect, that obviously must mean that you’re a gross fetishistic cishet and not, for example, a neurodivergent, mentally ill lesbian survivor who feels left out by the trend towards forcing every LGBTQ person to act like we’re happy, all the time, and to act like we’re only interested in fictional LGBTQ people who are perfectly 5,000% happy all the time

“and to decry any and all depictions of LGBTQ people being UNhappy as gross fetishistic straight people garbage even when they were actually created by and for LGBTQ people, only to be misappropriated by straight people, as if there’s no way you could possibly be LGBTQ and NOT feel ~used and maligned~ by depictions of LGBTQ people that are less than 5,000% perfectly happy, even when they are being created by other LGBTQ people, yeah? ……but yeah, no, clearly: the fact that I like angst obviously means that I am a straight person because no ~real~ LGBTQ person ever has any need for those ~gross negative feelings~ or fictional outlets for them, never mind how many LGBTQ people get excluded from our narratives and spaces by this bullshit bc lmao who cares amiright. ://”)

—anyway, my motto has been and remains, “It isn’t a question of WHAT you ship, it’s a question of HOW you ship it,” so hey. Snu//pin is not my thing (it’s not even as non-shippingly interesting to me as Sirius/Severus is, because I love how much those two hate each other while unwittingly being perfect foils for each other), but I don’t actually have any desire to ship-bash it and most Snu//pin shippers are okay with me because unless they’re actually doing anything that’s harmful to anyone else, it’s not my business what they ship

That said: “Snu//pin” is still one of the worst portmanteau ship names ever and it still sounds like a deadly virus or something, but *shrugs* Whatever, it’s not the shippers’ faults that their ship members’ names don’t smush up all that nicely

#memes for ts #ask box tag #mine: replies #mine: asks #mine: hp #harry potter for ts #character disliking for ts #ship disliking for ts #mine: fandom blah blah blah #lgbtq stuff #(under the read more… it. um. kinda came up while talking about snu//pin and wolfstar. …sorry? :/) #opinions for ts #wank for ts #(probably??? like not intentionally but the answer for the snu//pin one kinda goes there so) #nonny

[sasukeuchiha-eternalmangekyou]

Sureen limited herself to letting him talk - sensing that this wasn't something Sasuke had ever really put into words before. Her eyes remained trained to the ground, focusing the iridescent dewdrops which were adorning the blades of grass like pearls.

And while Sasuke was slowly cleaving a way through the muddled, convoluted memories and emotions connected with his brother, Sureen didn't dare interrupt him, afraid it would make him lose his thread. "I'm sorry I made you go back there," she eventually stepped in. "I-I know it… it hurts, to put it nicely. Reliving the same situation over and over, I mean. But then again… I think there's no way to deal with it that would NOT hurt. But - huh?! Oh… oops~"

Sureen suddenly paused, feeling something move right next to her. Her eyes widened in shock as she noticed that she must have placed her hand on Sasuke's arm at some point. She could only guess how long she'd been like that when the other deliberately pulled back from her touch. So she hurried to pull her hand back as well, bashfully looking the other way and crossing both arms in front of her chest. As the moment of shock slowly subsided, Sureen continued, albeit with a low voice, little more than a whisper. "B-but you know… it needs to hurt. It's allowed to hurt. It's a thing that needs time and space… and a way to get out of your system, 'cause otherwise it's nothing but an endless, self-destructive circle. But once you find methods to interrupt the circle for a bit… sooner or later it becomes less unbearable and less… less hopeless. Like its impact begins to shrink, like… like there's land in sight. Well, or maybe that's just me, maybe it wouldn't work like that for anyone else.

"Either way, it really takes a LOT of time and space though. And simultaneously, it takes you to the very edge of your resilience and even beyond. I'm not sure if anyone could actually just hang in there and wait it out until it begins to get bearable. But I know it's definitely not something anyone could do alone. And I know that it's… very obvious and very human… to try and find different, more familiar ways to stop the pain. Like trying to kill yourself or kill everyone responsible, you know." A brief sarcastic chuckle escaped her, and she couldn't help but cast the ninja a telling glance.   "I guess it's boiling down to who we really are, indeed. But after all, my plan to stop the pain like that didn't work… so I ended up with the 'wait it out' version. Involuntarily. Nevertheless I managed to hang in there long enough to get over the worst bit. But that was because… at that point I wasn't alone anymore, I guess." As Sasuke took another break after telling her that his life had taught him happiness was simply out of reach for him, yet he couldn't stop wondering whether his chosen route was worth giving up everything else, Sureen took her chance to reply once more. "Yeah… happiness is a rather fragile, unpredictable thing. But at least those moments when you question everything… as painful as they may be… but at least they prove that you're not just darkness and hatred and revenge. Your real self is way more than that. You know that, right?" Again, she turned towards him and placed her hand on his arm - the former with more assertiveness, the latter on purpose now. This time it was Sasuke who looked the other way. "Well… at least I know. And the good thing is - trust me, your real self is pretty indestructible." With every word, her voice gained enthusiasm. Her hands started gesturing, and her eyes began to shine as she sensed the opportunity to finally let him know what she'd felt ever since their first encounter.

"Which means this is not a one-way-ticket! You can commit yourself to your chosen path all you want, with all your determination, with everything you've got, but your real self still won't vanish. It will hide in the farthest corner so you can't see it anymore, but in fact, it's - ugh. Yeah. Whatever. You don't want to hear a single word I'm saying, right," she suddenly cut herself off and dropped her hands as the waves of Sasuke's disagreement hit her.

"Sorry. I… I wasn't trying to talk you out of it or anything," she explained sheepishly, realizing she'd stepped on dangerous ground. If he wouldn't tolerate one thing it was people trying to convince him how "misguided" he was. "It's just… it's what I see whenever I look at you. That there's more to you," she added, her voice once again reduced to a whisper. He didn't reply. Instead, he started talking about Sureen, about her secret ability that wasn't so secret anymore by now. "Sometimes I think the only burden about it is that it's never mutual. That I'm the only one. I'm wondering if the world would actually be a better place… if everyone had that ability. Or, like, perhaps not a better place, but definitely a more honest one. With less lies, less misunderstandings. Deeper connections. More insight. Well… anyway. Not like we'll ever find out, huh…" she mused, shrugging her shoulders. "Um... but regarding my decision to either stay or leave. I thought about it a lot while I was on my way here, considering all the rumors I'd heard about you." With a sigh, Sureen brought herself back to the here and now, reluctant to disclose the truth.

"I… I can't stay. The obvious explanation would be - I'm not a ninja, I don't have any skills that would be useful for your mission, that could contribute to its implementation. But, in fact, I can't because… as much as your plans serve to save your sanity, Sasuke… they'd sure as hell make me lose mine. "Although it's almost 10 years by now - that they died, I mean - the last thing I could ever do in my life is... t-to help somebody destroy a village. N-no way. Just… no."

The torrent of wind twisted its invisible sway into the miles of forest beyond the coast, winding a misguided lurch of energy into the foliage before dying down. The sea breeze was less forgiving, hauling the spray of salt into the air. Waves silently crashed onto the sand, an almost motionless action as it disappeared into an engulfing abyss, only to be thrown forward once more.

“Space is what I initially needed, but all it made me realize was the cycle of repeat my left was circling me with back when I was in Konoha. Every day felt inclined to bring more sadness into my already unbearable anger I felt towards Itachi. But all those emotions existed due to a lie, the depths of an unfathomable reality I almost wish wasn’t real. He purposely gave me an outlet when I really only needed…” He paused, feeling his grief become heavier, aggressively pushing down on his chest with an intolerable amount of pain. “I needed him. Not this. I never asked for revenge. It’s what I decided to survive. Otherwise I would’ve given up a long time ago. Falling into sorrow is easier than holding onto a piece of choice. It took more out of me than most cared to realize.”

Sasuke nodded when reaching her glance, her eyes forever searching, always siphoning against any will of her own. He knew only what Sureen expressed in word pertaining to her past and it wasn’t too dissimilar to his own. But even a fragment of change can cause an avalanche of lost comprehension. No amount of strained voices could convince him understanding was a two way street. It lacked substance and accuracy when on the outside.

“Familiarity is a form of defense I’ll gladly take to my grave. Waiting for pain to subside or diminish may work for some, even be the only possibility, and in a way it’s a method of surrender when you can’t take anymore. At the same time, it’s not a weakness if it helps. In your case, it seemingly did. It must have taken a resilient amount of strength, but you’re standing outside the shadow of your past. I can clearly see that. Even if it manages to haunt you, it doesn’t define you. Unfortunately, I haven’t reached such an inward conclusion when weighing my vengeance. The complication leads to more contradiction if I cross my goals with my brother’s objective in all this. But I’m not like him. Our worlds were entirely different, unalike in many unforeseen ways.”

He allowed her arm to remain the second time, since she seemed to be finding her voice rather than stumbling through words of indecision to ease him. Her whispered tone, one carefully placed in order to create an unhostile conversation was an effective one. It maintained a calm most refused to use when pounding their ideology into his refutes.

“Happiness can be an illusion set in the mold of any structured lie. As I’ve said, I used to believe in it. My real self might reach beyond the border of darkness, but my mind isn’t as easily swayed as my heart,” he continued when she finished. “Regardless of all those memories or what I was told to be reality, it’s still there, dodging the light. My demons aren’t fully known to lack cruel reminders.”

It might be broken or flawed but his moral compass never held much virtue. When he was a child, striving in the simplicity of a happy life with family, he never anticipated the question of morality. He was too young to think outside the realm of discovery, of proving himself, and even of what the future could hold. But those confines soon shattered, revealing a cold mirror of reflective despair.

Sasuke exhaled, eyes being drawn back. “I know you weren’t trying to talk me out of anything. Trust me, I’ve listened to my fair share from people who try and continue to do so. But unlike you, they don’t comprehend the distance factor when it comes to aiming to locate a sense of clarity, whether I find a negative or positive one. All they want is to return me to a place where I no longer belong.”

It was hard to believe there was anything more to a shallow, soulless being such as himself. The darkness took its fair share of humanity from him. He willingly held tightly onto his reasons, but nothing beyond them. Sasuke’s love and devotion towards Itachi was buried under what he believed to be true. As it was gradually brought back to the surface, it stung.

“If everyone had your ability I think it’d be rather chaotic,” he added with a shrug. “If you consider the scope of your abilities, connections and insight are sure to be given, but in return no one would feel free to their secrets or able to maintain a stable way of growth, fight their inner struggles. Not everyone needs a guiding hand or someone else to pull them through self-discovery. But I can understand. You’re different and that makes it lonely.”

Starved of affection and closeness, what most define as care, it’s the price of being unique. It’s not asked for and doesn’t equate to the trail of living, but it’s there all the same. Being an Uchiha, he’s known the aspect of being overlooked as well as having all eyes preying on his movements.

Sasuke exhaled, the need of distraction tugging at the seams of his mind. It unraveled with precision, ribbons of agony scattered and discarded from the prior night of discussion. In the wake of a new dawn, the particulars could be looked at more clearly, with less aggravation swimming through his veins. He was set. Nothing could alter his decision.

“I expected your answer. I wouldn’t want to drag anyone down with me that wasn’t willing. I still have Taka on my side and they agreed to help me regardless of my shifting objective. I wouldn’t want you to lose your sanity over something so trivial as my own.”

#EnthusiasticUmbrellaAnon #I did it ;A; #after a millennia of waiting I have done it #I typed #and it hit a little over 1000 words #hallelujah #*throws confetti for the act of actually doing something for once*