#custody

[kronkk]

Denial of Family [Read: Male] Violence in Court: An Empirical Analysis and Path Forward For Family Law

Joan S. Meier, George Washington University Law School

link

"Scores of women and children have suffered grave harm from courts’ punitive responses to mothers’ requests to protect their children from paternal abuse in the context of custody litigation. Rather than responding protectively, family courts frequently turn on the protective parent, ordering the children removed from the protective parent and sending them to live with or spend unprotected time with their allegedly abusive parent. In the worst of these cases, the abusive parent has used this court-ordered access to murder the child(ren), in the ultimate act of revenge against his adult victim. While courts’ resistance to mothers’ and children’s abuse claims is widespread, it is especially intense when the alleged abuser turns the tables by accusing the mother and child of “parental alienation.” The author’s national empirical study of cases involving both abuse and alienation claims has now generated the first-ever objective data quantifying family courts’ systematic pattern of denying adult - and especially child – abuse. For instance, the study found that family courts only believed mothers’ child abuse allegations less than one-third of the time. They believed only 1 in 49 cases of child sexual abuse when the accused father crossclaimed that the mother was alienating. Approximately one-third of mothers alleging a father’s abuse lose custody; when the father crossclaims alienation, that increases to one-half." -

tldr: Men are more likely to get custody if the mother accuses him of child abuse, often times giving him chance to murder the kids.

#custody #men are more likely to get custody if the mother accuses him of child abuse

[puttingherinhistory]

Facts about divorce for feminists and MRAs:

in most (51%) of cases, both parents decided on their own (out of court) that the mother was to receive full custody

in 29% of custody cases, the decision was made without any third party involvement

in 91% of cases, the decision for the mother to have custody was made without court involvement

of those who go to court, 70% of men who seek custody of their child receive it

of those 70%, 1/3 of the cases cited domestic abuse as part of the reason for divorce

women who mention having been victims of domestic abuse in court are less likely to receive custody of their children than women who didn’t

i’m tired of seeing posts on feminism by both feminists and MRAs citing “gender bias in custody cases” as a problem we need to solve. women aren’t unfairly receiving custody more often. abusive men are unfairly receiving custody.

the fact is, if my dad had actually attended his court ordered anger management type classes, i would legally have been required to spend a portion of my time with him until i turned 18, even though he beat my mother and abused me.

don’t let anyone make you think that the scale isn’t still tipped toward men in a court of law.

sources: (1) (2)

Looking at these stats, it looks like the real problem here with why so many women have custody after divorce is male irresponsibility in childcare. After a divorce men don’t want to take responsibility for their own damn children and feel comfortable leaving women with more or all of the work and responsibility. Need I remind my followers how much work and responsibility childcare is? It’s a highly demanding full time job with no breaks and no vacation. This means after a divorce when a woman is left with all of the work and responsibility of childcare she’s more likely to see her career and personal life stunted by the lack of energy and free time, while the man is more likely to have a flourishing career and personal life without having to worry about childcare because he only has to “parent” (if you can even call it that) every other weekend or whatever, but honestly if you’re only watching your own fucking kids on the weekend or every other weekend then that’s more babysitting than being an actual parent. And the thing is, as stated in the OP, most men choose this because most men don’t see parenting after a divorce as their responsibility due to sexist bias in seeing childcare as women’s responsibility.

Getting men to step up in doing their fair half of childcare *if he’s not toxic or abusive* both before AND after the parents split up is an important feminist issue because leaving women with disproportionately more childcare hurts women’s career opportunities and contributes to the gender pay gap and having less women in leadership positions if they’re bogged down with childcare.

I’ve heard of couples who split up in cases where the father is actually a healthy and not toxic parent where both parents make an effort to live close together and they equally trade off the kid every other week, and as the kid gets to be an older teen freely moves between the two houses as they please. If both parents are healthy and not toxic or abusive there’s no reason childcare shouldn’t be equally shared after splitting up, so many men leaving childcare to their ex’s is irresponsible and has a basis in sexist gender roles around parenting.

Another fun fact : contrary to the MRA claim that women make false allegations of abuse to get leverage in divorce/custody cases, evidence shows allegations of abuse are actually rare, and substantiated in most cases. Out of the accusations that were found to be deliberate lies by the courts, most were fabricated by men (21%) vs women (1.3%).

#custody #divorce #marriage #feminism #womanism #gender roles #gender norms

[newyorkthegoldenage]

The custody dispute over the 10-year old heiress Gloria Vanderbilt fascinated Depression-era America in 1934. The girl's aunt, Gertrude Vanderbilt Whitney, sued for custody, alleging that her mother neglected her, had lovers of both sexes, and spent Gloria's inheritance income on her own hedonistic lifestyle. Gloria Senior retaliated by claiming that Whitney kept nude sculptures in her house (she was a sculptor herself and later founded the Whitney Museum in New York).

"The Trial of the Century," as the tabloids called it, began on October 1 and lasted six weeks. Gloria's youngest son, Anderson Cooper, later described it as "the O.J. case of its day, except bigger, because nothing like it had ever happened before." On November 13, the women in the picture above demonstrated outside the courthouse to support Gloria's mother's claim to her child. (Gloria's father had died years before.) In the end, the judge awarded custody to Whitney but allowed Gloria Senior weekend visitation rights. The NY Journal American mocked the verdict:

Rockabye baby, up on a writ. Monday to Friday, Mother's unfit As the week ends she rises in virtue, Saturdays, Sundays, Mother won't hurt you.

Above: "Little Gloria," as the press dubbed her, is hustled through a throng of reporters by bodyguards as she pays her first post-trial visit to her mother, Gloria Morgan Vanderbilt.

Top Photo: Associated Press Bottom Photo: Bettmann Archive/Getty Images/History.com

#vintage New York #1930s #Gloria Vanderbilt #Little Gloria #Vanderbilt custody case #custody #Nov. 13 #family battle #rich people's problems #famous trials #custody battle #13 Nov.

[setokaibapetty]

5 + 1 Fic Friday Roundup: Surprise Relative

Some fics where a surpise blood relation pops up. Like, sometimes the guy who raised you was lying about being your dad, sometimes a Pit gives you a baby, etc.

Imprint (AO3) - "He screwed his eyes shut, held his breath, desperately wished that he was back in his safehouse, alone and blissfully unaware. But the weight in his hands remained, and when he opened his eyes, it was to the bean-shaped 'fuck you' the Lazarus Pit had kindly bestowed upon him, arms and legs folded up against his front beneath off-white muslin while tiny lips smacked softly.'

Red Blood, Blue Blood (AO3) - "Jason Todd was living a very ordinary life in Crime Alley before his mother gets sick. Then, suddenly, Jason and Catherine have to grapple with the secret everyone has known since Jason was born with black hair and blue eyes—Willis Todd wasn't his biological father. Bruce Wayne is, and not only is he the richest man in Gotham, he has three other children who may not be glad to have an interloper in their midst."

Going Off-Book (AO3) - "Dick winces. “Tim, meet Damian Wayne. Apparently, his mom told him who his dad was when he turned eighteen and the first thing he did after finding out was enroll in the nearest police academy. He served for a couple of years and just arranged a transfer here from Metropolis.” He directs a pleading gaze at Tim. “Like I said, Bruce had to go out of town for a while, but he asked me to show Damian the ropes. Tim, I’m sorry, but—"

when the dead tree flowers (AO3) - "It wasn't solely Jango Fett's DNA that went into making Domino Squad. Palpatine had other plans for them. Thankfully, so does their second genetic donor, and he has just as few qualms about murder as a Sith Lord."

Open Arms (AO3) - "The story starts when Quinlan get's a call from the hospital; an old girlfriend has given birth and named him the father, leaving the baby at the hospital. This triggers a series of events that bring Fox back into contact with his bio family, who he is not as distant from as he might like to think."

Bonus: welcome all your bastard actions home (AO3) - "Daenerys had arrived at Winterfell three days past, a great host of dragons and roses and suns and krakens, clearly expecting Jon -- the King in the North, as uneasy that title rests on his shoulders -- to bend the knee. Instead, he takes her to the crypts to speak of ancient history."

#fic rec #fic friday #fandom friday #ao3 #links #jason todd #dc x dp #fright knight #bruce wayne #tim drake #cop au #modern au #opps baby #adopted #surprise #blood related #clones #star wars clone wars #omega granta #custody #cc 1010 #commander fox #Quinlin Vos #vos #jon snow #r + l = j

[jeanniebug623]

I don’t know where, or when, I saw this comment but I can’t stop thinking about Spider from different fanfics crossings paths in the multiverse…🕷️🕸️

When escape plans collide! 😆 All scribbled in good fun while I take my writing break.

Spider from Blood is Thicker Than Water by @cyren-myadd meets Spider from Custody by @ao3gobi17. Both FANTASTIC fics if you haven’t read them yet! 🙂

#atwow #avatar the way of water #atwow fanfiction #atwow spider #miles spider socorro #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #custody #blood is thicker than water #avatar the way of traumatizing spider

[ao3gobi17]

Custody AU drabble

This is a lil gift for @goodbyetothenight to say thank you for all the design help on my pinned post/masterlist!  Two prompt words: “anxious, deaf.”

There is some angst here as Spider has not come to terms with being deaf (and please note that I haven’t gone for accuracy in translation though Spider might be inferring Quaritch’s way of speaking!)

X-X-X

Spider could practically feel the vibrations from Captain Delgado’s boots as he led the two of them down the corridor.  He crossed his arms in his hoodie to fend off the cold air, trying to reassure himself.

He was nervous, but not nearly as nervous as the translator, who kept fumbling over the words.

Imagine there’s a line cut halfway across the table.  Don’t cross that line.  Come back to the door when he gives you the information.  We’ll be watching you.

And then they were at the door.  Spider went in first and the translator hovered half behind him, forcing him to step forward and look directly at Quaritch.

Quaritch’s ankles were shackled to his chair and there was indeed a table between them.  His muscular frame hunched forward to look at Spider closely.

“You’re really deaf?”  His face was incredulous.

Spider didn’t hear more than an indistinct rumble, but he’d seen that exact phrase on people’s lips so often that he didn’t need to wait for the translator to summon their courage.

He nodded.

“What happened?”  That one was also obvious.

Accident Spider signed, his throat still plugging at the word.  He watched the interpreter eventually come out from behind him and pad it into a short sentence.

Quaritch stared at him, and Spider felt like he was under a microscope.  As he understood it, they’d only told Quaritch that he was deaf this morning.  Spider hated the way people looked at him when they found out, sympathy soon giving way to him being othered.  He wasn’t going to let Miles Quaritch of all people do that to him.  He cut to the chase.   They said if I came, you’d give up the Wedgewick Killer.

Quaritch responded and Spider could hazard most of what he was saying but waited for the translation.

Yeah, I’ll tell you.  But you gotta tell me a few things about you first to make it fair, right?  

I’m not allowed to tell you anything, Spider signed back dully.

Then let me tell you something.  Quaritch waited for the interpreter to finish.  I didn’t kill your mother.  Do you believe me?

Spider shrugged.  He didn’t, but it hardly mattered now, did it?  They couldn’t even have proper conversation.  Quaritch would spend the rest of his days here, cut off from the world, and Spider would spend the rest of his days outside but equally as isolated.

X-X-X

Spider was pushed over threshold.  The bald man was talking loudly in his ear again as if that was going to help.  He felt like he’d been thrown around in a tumble dryer.  His heart was hammering like a jack-rabbit, hands clenching and unclenching behind his back. 

He saw Quaritch sitting across the room as the bald man bent to undo his shoes.  He’d guessed it was Quaritch, when they’d come for him, but with no way to communicate, he’d had to wait to see.

He tried to control his shaky breathing as his cuffs were undone.

Miles  Quaritch signed and Spider blinked.  He rubbed at his wrists, trying to figure out if he’d just seen his name spelled out.

You’re safe, son.  Quaritch signed next.  Safe with me.

Spider felt like a trap door had opened inside him, sweeping through a tidal wave of emotion.  Quaritch had learned ASL?  He’d learned ASL since last week?

I’m still learning Quaritch said, reading his expression.  Not very good yet.  Need more time.

The bald man clapped Spider on the back and said something.  Quaritch’s blue eyes flickered to him then back to Spider, smiling slowly.

He says I shouldn’t do all the talking.  Hug?

Perhaps there wasn’t any choice, but if there had been, Spider would have still chosen to stumble across the room and fall into his ex-stepfather's arms.

X-X-X

#custody #gobibside #Custody AU #spider socorro #miles quartich

[dreamforrest]

Think Buck will get Christopher every other weekend now?

#custody #visitation #911 #911 abc #Christopher and his two dads #christopher diaz #eddie diaz #evan buck buckely

[funbearer]

#spring #winter #custody

[soleberlandieri]

The team - The team (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/1353004741-the-team?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading&wp_uname=ChiccaTiaKiki&wp_originator=tdY7HBDGiCP7pmv0nOoxiT8Y%2FO5ZjA0aUpderN8LI%2F2i3VZeWL8A6ZbvpJOouBxq6T%2BrQy5z0BUOWjhsvuBlxZJ1tqtW4wh%2BhHZobL8Z%2FNrAHdE1ME8tIxTYZ6kQ4CEN Kisame has known for some time that Itachi is ill and has little to live on, however nothing serious enough to force him to intervene has ever happened. They have always been just a team and nothing more. But maybe Kisame discovers something that he didn't know before. Or that he had always been waiting for. Little KisaIta. Kisame x Itachi.

#akatsuki #angst #care #confession #custody #delirium #fever #friendship #hoshigaki #hugs #hurtcomfort #illness #itachi #itachixkisame #itakisa #kisaita #kisame #kisamexitaxhi #love #missingscene #os #shonenai #team #uchiha #fanfiction #books #wattpad #amreading

[lejacquelope]

Feminism is approaching its final form...

#feminism #men #women #custody #child custody #misandry

[rapeculturerealities]

How reporting domestic violence works against women in family court. | The Marshall Project

Conventional wisdom has it that women automatically have the upper hand in custody fights, and a mother claiming she’s been abused has a powerful case to sway the court. But when domestic violence charges are in play, advocates and researchers suggest, mothers are often at a disadvantage.

“The legal system is set up on dealing with agreeableness,” said Margaret Bassett, then the deputy director of the University of Texas at Austin Institute on Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault, who would help during Coronado’s case. Family courts often favor the parent who will cooperate to maintain their ex’s relationship with their children.

This “friendly parent” principle, sensible overall, since it’s healthy for most children to maintain bonds with both parents, can become a blind spot—or worse—in cases of alleged abuse. Mothers who charge fathers with domestic violence amid custody battles are often suspected of fabricating the claims as a tactic to win control of their children. But battered women’s advocates suggest that many “high-conflict” divorces—the single-digit fraction of separations that are extensively litigated—are actually domestic violence cases in disguise.

#victim blaming #Domestic violence #tw intimate partner violence #Court system #Custody

[streetdestiny17]

I miss herrrr

#custody

[haunybooboo]

Sometimes the shelter gets donations.

Sometimes I get to go thru them.

Sometimes I find things like this mama bear hoodie.

Just a little big but it’s comfortable. And I like it. Usually donations are like golden girls wardrobe looking or way to big for me. Sometimes I do find things for me and Chase. Never much for the other two boys.

It’s still beyond draining. Mentally and financially. Going on 4 months now? But the apartment should be ready by mid August. Which should be this week or next. It’s gotta be soon.

But hopefully this week because I hate sending them to their father and them having to say no we’re not in the apartment yet. Because he gets off on my struggles. On Friday he actually messaged me thru the court app of course

“Thank you for sending pictures of the boys on their first day of school or having them let me know how it went not like I’m their father or anything 😂”

Which is petty. Immature. Shitty.

He has Spencer’s number tho and I checked and there were no attempts by him to reach out. He could have easily text his son to find out instead of attacking me 3 days later when mind you there is a protective order and I try to avoid contact unless necessary. He also knew his son has an orthodontist appointment and didn’t bother to check up on that either. I did however inform him that his braces are going to cost me like $8000. And I did sent the only 2 pictures I took and briefly said they like school.

No response further from him. No thank you. Nothing about the braces.

I am over it. How the courts allow this to continue is beyond me. I get that we should co parent but it’s not possible with how he is.

Life just kind of hurts.

#selfie #dv survivor #onward #progress #custody #life #ramblings

[rickidaho]

If one more of my ex wives tells me they won’t let me see my son because I’m a “danger to myself and others” I’m going to lose it

#exwife #divorce #custody #she won’t let me see him

[ao3gobi17]

So, did you manage to write more for Custody this weekend? Or enough to be able to post a snippet? I'm going crazy waiting for this 😅💕

I did! I can give you a snippet from very early on in the chapter though first draft warnings apply:

“In,” Meyer came up close and seized him by the scruff.  The barrel of the gun knocked cold against the side of Spider’s head, and his mind glazed out in panic as he was thrust towards the passenger side.  Meyer stepped aside to open the door but the gun was there a moment later, prodding at him to get in.

Spider got in.

“Don’t move,” Meyer hissed before sealing the door and rounding the car, pointing the gun through the windshield.

Out of the corner of his eye, Spider saw a light snap on in the house.

Ay dios mio.

Meyer threw himself in to the driver's seat and made quick work of firing up the engine and throwing the BMW into reverse, the gun jammed up against the wheel as they peeled out of the driveway.

Spider flexed his fingers in his hair, tried to swallow his stomach back down. "You need to let me out. He's going to kill you."

#gobibside #custody

[maaarine]

if you're looking for a movie to fuel your misandry (always!)

I recommend Custody (Jusqu'à la garde, Xavier Legrand, 2018)

#custody #jusqu'a la garde #film #weaker sex #Youtube