#Trust God's Perfect Timing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nightingaleatdawnwrites · 1 month

Text

Power of Positivity

April 11th, 2021

I wrote this article three years ago and this is the revised version.

My life is my masterpiece. I’m very grateful to those who reach out to me when they hear and feel my “thoughts” even if I don’t say a single word. It’s a never ending battle for me as I have a mood condition, however, I will continue to walk with faith in God and hope that better days are coming.

Do know that in life, there will always be roadblocks along the way as they are a part of your journey through life.

The most important thing is that we continue to have faith in God, count our blessings each day, be grateful for what we have, and even though we don’t get what we pray for, rest assured that God will give you something much better than whatever you have prayed for.

Do things with great love, enjoy the best things in life which are usually free, always see the brighter side of life, and always believe in the power of prayers.

Pay forward whatever you have received from people ~ whether in cash, in kind, knowledge or skills. Never expect something in return. A simple form of gratitude from them like “thank you “ or “salamat” should be enough to make you happy and contented. That only means that they have appreciated whatever you have given them. Enjoy the little things in life as they are the ones which usually make people happy.

Blessings to everyone and we will all get through this Pandemic. Once again, the world will be a better place if we all help each other.

Maganda ang buhay! Laban lang palage and always pray as prayers work all the time!

0 notes

shittywriterbrain · 9 months

Text

i will never be normal about the you wear fine things well scene. i will pause that shit five times and rewatch it again and again and rant at my screen about every single thought going on in ed's head and how fucking perfect the music and taika's acting are

#actually no kidding i have gone insane over this scene every time i watched it #the fucking little piano melody when ed looks up at stede is just AAH perfect #our flag means death #ofmd #god i just watched it again and #someone take away my space bar. i cannot be trusted with the space bar. i WILL pause it right after ed looks up bc the music in sync with #the acting is just too much for my little brain to handle #im losing my mind over this

526 notes · View notes

mewtwo24 · 5 months

Text

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #i swear to god this series is just 'gay man who doesn't know shit inflicting his delusional reality on everyone else and inciting chaos'#and literally it's slapstick levels of hilarious every single time; mxtx never change #also i fully agree that we did not get NEARLY enough mobei-jun and sqh/airplane content #the amount of mental illness to mental illness communication going on there was astonishing #mobei-jun being afraid of his uncle and bringing sqh because that's the only person he trusts fully (WAILING NOISES)#sqh having a tantrum but running away because for the first time he was honest about his needs + his dissatisfaction with catering to other #how that reflects his narrative compulsions and how he felt forced to warp more creative story paths for the sake of survival as a writer #how sqq's restoration of much of his original intent--as well as mobei-jun's acceptance of his needs--helps airplane begin to heal #how his happiness begins; how just like sqq he wanders in such confusion and denial before he's forced to realize what truly matters to him #SHREK VOICE: STORIES HAVE. L A Y E R S #it feels like modern day shakespeare and when i say that i don't mean it in a hollow elevating sense i mean it more like #mxtx just hits that perfect balance of poignance but also hilarious concentric circles of botched communication and brainworms #okay but real talk for a minute? .........;-;#the way lbh constantly struggles with such a crushing feeling that he'll be abandoned over any little mishap/thing/problem #really hit me where it hurts??? if only because its so clearly an anxiety that stems from original goods' upbringing #the way it becomes even more heartrending when you think back to all the sect leaders clamoring that he should have been killed as an infan #that he should have been aborted as a fetus--insisting right in front of him that his birth was a mistake and a disgrace #over having demon blood in his veins. like my god that scene is so viscerally upsetting i struggle to read it #the way its so easy to see the demons as a manifestation of otherness in precipitated form #how both sqq and sqh are influenced by human rhetoric without evening meaning to--assuming the worst against their better judgment #how both sqq and sqh both struggle with their own otherness in different ways and only find solace when they begin to accept who they are #how their lovers (lbh and mbj respectively) both are willing to navigate those confusing waters with them #how both demons love them as they are--accept them as they are despite how difficult forgiveness of perceived betrayal is for them #ty mxtx for changing my brain chemistry #as i get older i have such a fondness for the messiness of thematic queer self-discovery and growth into self-acceptance #that and how youth can so easily be defined by perfectionistic self-harm and the violence of repression

230 notes · View notes

sluckythewizard · 3 months

Text

THEY could give me the surgurey i need (inspired alot by evojellys designs for em. GREAT STUFF)

#THE SUCKENING IS S O COOOOL GUYS VIV N VEX ARE SO FUCKING COOL AND FUNNY... CHARLIES FLAVOR OF DERANGED IS JUST #SO PERFECT FOR THIS CAMPAIGN.. I LOVE HOW HE DOES HORROR AND EVIL AND SCARY AND AAUAUUUGHGHGUUHGHG #their teeht arnt spiked like normal vampires but theyre sharp n smooth like a Beak. in my beautiful heart #ALSO UGHGHGH BIG SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 7 BUT #THAT THING WITH THE MAP. WITH THE DEMONS N VAMPS. THEYRE KEEPING TRACK OF THEM.#'so viv. was that one of mine or one of yours?' IS THIS A PET PROJECT OF THEIRS OR SOMETHING. ARE THEY PULLING MORE STRINGS THAN WE THINK #IS ONE TUGGING AT THE DEMONS AND THE OTHER TUGGING AT THE FANGS? PITTING THEM AGAINST EACHOTHER SO THEY KILL EACHOTHER?#AND THEN ITS EASIER TO TAKE THE BODIES FOR THEIR FUNNY CREATIONS?? IT PROLLY WASNT EASY TO GET SUPPLIES B4 EDWARD CAME INTO POWER #BUT OH MY GOD.. POOR EMIZEL.. THE MEMORY OF HIS CREW WAS TAKEN AND THEN HE WATCHES A BUNCHA THEM GET HORRIBLY DISMATNLED N DISTORTED #HE KNOWS HE CARED FOR THEM AT SOMEPOINT N HE KNOWS THE MEMORIES WERE TAKEN BUT HE JUST. CANT. AUAUUGGUAHGUAHGUAHGUHG #THAT SUCKS SO BAD FOR HIMMM EMIZEEEELL EMIZEL CMERE BABY BOY ILL SMOKE U OUT BOY. GET AWAY FROM THOSE EVIL GUYS I AM BETTER N CAN BE TRUSTE #viv n vex are so cool...theyre fuckin CRAAZYY N SCARYYY BUT ALSO. SO FUNNY... I LOVE A PUNNY JACKASS... 'LOOKS LIKE YOUVE BEEN: DISARMED!'#'IVE MADE THAT JOKE 6 TIMES AND ITS STILL FUNNY EVERYTIME' i gotta draw more of their bullshit...#im already doodling up the 'YOU CAN CALL ME MOMMY!!' bit. i gotta draw more o the monstors n the horrors too... especially emizels sire UGH #I LOVE VILLIAINS THAT ARE SO GENUINELY SCARY BUT SO FUNNY... charlie just does evil ppl like no one else idk what it ISSSS #okayokayoka y im normal im. relistening to the ep n im at the edward part. oh my god. i actually love him. he actually makes my skin crawl #IM DONEthats my rambles for tha day. back into my hole i go. also i have comms open. cmere pspspss i need moneyyy heyyyy cmereeeee #check out my main artblog. GO!!!

161 notes · View notes

luck-of-the-drawings · 1 month

Text

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

130 notes · View notes

ae-cha08 · 6 days

Text

We pray. We wait. We hope. We believe. And in His perfect time, we see His faithful plan unfold. 💙

21 notes · View notes

laesas · 1 year

Text

Pathetic!Kimhan truthers rise up 💕

#baby-dom chay you are my confidante my best friend my silly rabbit.#for legal reasons this is a lightheated jokey post :')#but it is also what I do every time 💀#I dont know if its because it orders them Chay/Kim on ao3 so when the dom/sub tag is there im like OH MY GOD YES FINALLY LETS FUCKING GO #rare dom-sub variations my beloved #alas.................. people look at kim and think ''hot.'' instead of ''sopping wet pathetic little meow meow''#the power that d/s chay/kim has.#Kimhan 'needs to be in complete control' Theerapanyakul #utterly picked apart by Porchay 'broke down all of Kims careful defenses by accident' Kittisawadt #it just makes sense!!!!!#credit to tumblr user kinnbig for the meme #negative credit for being too much of a puthy to post it tho 🙏#that said my wife does have significantly more followers than me to be angy in the inbox and she does not want that smoke💀#I however needed this on my blog more than my peace and sanity #anyway sub!kim is my hill to die on #youre telling me you dont look at Kimhan Theerapanyakul and want him held down by the throat??#you think he doesnt deserve to be pinned to a wall???#thats like enrichment for him??? he loves it #its perfect. Kim finally doesnt have to be in control and Chay finally gets to!! its just such a neat exploration of trust!!#something something eroticising vulnerability after years of being forced to be stoic and invulnerable and emotionally cut off 💕#the fandom can barely handle sub!Kim so let me stay completely silent on my sub!Vegas thesis....... but like...... 👀#anyway!! babygirlify that man #put that man on his knees agenda 💕

96 notes · View notes

suffarustuffaru · 7 months

Text

ok but im getting emo over heinkel again so im gonna talk about him again because yeah hes yet another sad character in a sea of sad characters and i love rezero for that but like he is a character consistently characterized by one loss after the other. it's a rollercoaster and its going straight fucking down and he is so miserable and absolutely alone and its both his fault and not his fault at all. but the way it starts is - its all out of his control. the more you think about the trajectory of his life the sadder it gets.

imagine you are heinkel and your parents are the sword saint and the sword demon and you come from a long line of knights and sword saints so thats almost definitely where youre headed, right? thats whats expected of you. you are nineteen years old and youre a knight in the royal guard, which was expected of you, and you have a wife and a beautiful baby boy, which was also expected of you, but at least you have so much joy and love for the latter while the former is just another chain on the astrea family line of people who are stuck to knighthood whether they like it or not. but your family is also just another chain because youre nineteen and your mother is still the sword saint and youre playing with fate here because either youre going to be the sword saint or your son will be.

your wife, the only equal you have, falls asleep one day and never wakes up. you are twenty-one years old and a single parent and then you are twenty-three years old and your son's fate is so much bigger than youll ever be. having the worlds love means that your love pales in comparison, doesnt it? everyone knows about your comatose wife because you keep searching so much for a cure that its just another thing to gossip about. every year that passes by she just continues to look the same as she did when she was awake and alive and loved you. (you dont know it yet but your son is going to reach the same age as her, because you dont find a cure for another sixteen years and you know that she wont love you anymore because who does? theres no one left because your son doesnt count.)

and everyone knows about you because of your family. because yeah, youre a good swordsman, but youre not liked by anyone in the knights. youre not a friend and youre certainly not a sword saint or sword demon. your son mind controls someone because he loves you so much that he would do anything for you and looks up to you like youre some hero, but youre just a wreck whos scrambling to keep what little you have. youre twenty-four and you lose your mom because you were too scared to go on the mission you were assigned on, because youre a coward and youre in over your head and you know, because everyone knows, that you dont measure up. you could never be prepared for this. in a long line of people who have to carry the weight of the world, you crumble easily. your mom goes on that mission and dies and your son becomes the sword saint like this was always going to happen. this is what being loved by the world means. you just killed your mom because you just couldnt suck it up and die on that mission instead. on top of that, your dad says that your five-year-old god of a son killed your mom. its just you and your son and the two of you both killed your mom but youre the worlds biggest laughing stock and your son is the up and coming hero and monster. but you still love your son. you really do.

right?

#rezero #heinkel astrea #i have. many feelings on him always. no i do not condone his abuse and i never will. but he is such a fascinating character #and this is not even getting into like. post-reinhard being five years old. cries. there is so much happening my god. the tragedy of it all #i swear theresia and wilhelm act like they dont even like heinkel fr sometimes too i swear aldfjldfjl theres just implications behind that #relationship too. and implications to heinkel and reinhards Everything with what little we've seen of them. like little kid reinhard truste #his dad SO MUCH heinkel was very loving in the beginning. it hurts how badly it turns out later alsdlfj bc you just Know that reinhard is #internalizing this like. my dad used to love me and now he doesnt anymore and its all my fault.#BUT HE STILL DOES LOVE REINHARD DEEP DOWN BC WHY ELSE WOULD HE HAVE SCHULT AS A REPLACEMENT. GOD. GOD.#arc 5 spoilers #i always like. theorize that heinkel used to be someone who tried to follow the rules to the T. try his best. try to be a good perfect #knight. a bit of a people pleaser. WHICH IS LIKE REINHARD RIGHT and it explains why heinkel is so bitter and jaded and angry now. god. i #hate it here. the astreas make me sooo crazy #like heinkel really does seem like a guy whos just trying to be a goody two shoes in like the once upon a time from lugunica ss but he fail #miserably bc hes too Emotional and also going through a lot of stress aljsdlfj

21 notes · View notes

tending-the-hearth · 1 year

Text

you know if could have been VERY easy for them to just leave lo'ak and neteyam's final conversation to being the moment where lo'ak says payakan's his brother, and make neteyam's death this whole uber angsty moment with lo'ak apologizing and not really getting closure with neteyam, but i'm glad they didn't go that route, and instead had neteyam help lo'ak. we got a final moment with the two of them being a little goofy and affectionate together, with neteyam's "who's the mighty warrior?" line and how he pushes lo'ak's head, and lo'ak pretending to be annoyed but really he can't stop smiling bc yeah, that's his big brother.

so obviously yes, lo'ak still will most likely feel guilty over neteyam's death, but at least it isn't because there was a huge unsaid thing between them and their last conversation wasn't an argument because i really don't think i could have emotionally handled that

#listen any time a movie portrays actual realistic siblings i go ballistic #and THESE TWO #god their frustration with each other #but the trust and love they have for each other????#they have the perfect big bro/little bro dynamic and i want to throw up #also just a note if i see anyone being nasty about characters who are MINORS in the rbs/comments #of any of my avatar posts #y'all are getting blocked on sight #avatar #avatar: the way of water #neteyam #lo'ak

70 notes · View notes

hella1975 · 5 months

Note

hella have u heard tom odell's 2 new songs they are insanely devastating he literally never misses ❗❗ the bridge on black friday is actually life changing 😔😔😔

DONT DO THIS TO ME. IT'S CHRISTMAS

#it actually took me an embarrassingly long time to check out his new music and i have NO EXCUSE i just never got round to it??#but ohhhhhhhhh my god. oh my god. I WANT A BETTER BODY I WANT BETTER SKIN I WANT TO BE PERFECT LIKE ALL YOUR OTHER FRIENDS #THOMAS. WHAT WAS THE REASON #ive not listened to the end yet but trust me i will soon and have a meltdown probably #ask #song rec

12 notes · View notes

nightingaleatdawnwrites · 2 months

Text

Life Is Beautiful: Hopes and Dreams

Excerpt 5

March 23rd, 2024

It was my childhood dream and my parents’ dream as well for me to become a doctor. However, I had a major struggle on my fifth year in medical school that’s why I wasn’t able to complete my studies then. Maybe it’s not my calling.

However, if I will study Office Administration - Health Services in Sheridan College in May, I will still be able to help people out. It’s a two-year program. According to the faculty member I’ve spoken to, during the last semester, there will be field placement. We will not be trained but instead, we will be educated. We will be exposed to various medical settings.

I’ve always had the passion to help people out in any way that I can. Maybe being a doctor is not my calling but I believe being an Office Administrator or an Administrative Assistant in the medical field is my calling. God, please enlighten me concerning deciding if I’m choosing the right path. I know that You know what’s best for me and I will always trust Your plans for me.

0 notes

thegreenleavesofspring · 6 months

Text

.

So I discovered today, by virtue of our electric unceremoniously cutting off, that my husband has not paid the utility bill in - guessing from the amount owed - three or four months, without informing me or transferring it to my name.

In an example of truly Providential timing, I got paid today and had just enough to cover the arrears. Because he had not paid it and did not live here, they permitted me to close his account and open it in my own name if I paid his outstanding balance.

The rest of my bills are paid and we do not stand in dire need of anything that we must get before I next get paid. I am inconvenienced and annoyed and I'll admit, it was a rough couple of hours earlier, but overall -

I see God's fingerprints all over this.

You see, (I think I've mentioned this before,) I had prayed quite desperately, back in 2021, for liberation from my husband. Complete liberation. I was raised in the school of thought that said divorce was only for infidelity and anything else, including abuse, was a sin. But I was so desperate to be free, I was so unceasingly miserable and afraid.

This year has been quite hard in many ways. I have faced down plenty of challenges, financial and logistical and otherwise.

I do not relish a new bill to have to pay.

And yet.

Is this not the freedom and deliverance I have prayed for? Is God not giving me more control over my own life, freeing me from Dallas? I am no longer dependent on his mercy for my income. For my children's necessities. For internet and phone service. Now for utilities.

Every single time God has cut a tie holding me to my husband, the boat has rocked. I have freaked out (more or less, depending.) And yet - and yet - we have not capsized. He has held us in the palm of His hand. He has borne us through the storm.

How can I but trust Him?

#Nattering into the void #Truth be told? I think 2023 has been the single best year of my life #All things considered #So hard in some ways. So joyful in others.#There were some very deep dark wells at times.#But I look back at 2023 and all I can see is God's fingerprints. All over it. His perfect timing. His perfect will. His unending grace and #indulgence.#When I am praying for aid - do you know what I feel from Him when I pray for aid? Do you?#Glee. Laughter. Excitement. The excitement of someone who's planning a WONDERFUL gift and can't wait to see the reaction of the receiver #Even in the midst of the great darkness and fear #He is *gleeful*#How can I but trust Him?

7 notes · View notes

random-xpressions · 9 months

Text

#God's perfect timing #trust #the divine process

12 notes · View notes

delusionsofspace · 2 months

Text

I think I need "The 'chosen one' is a horror trope" tattooed on my body

#satt speaks #I AM UNWELL ABOUT FORCED GODLIKE STANCES. I AM UNWELL ABOUT PEOPLE THRUST INTO POWER WHEN THEY DON'T WANT IT #I AM UNWELL ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE THE WORLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS AND EVERY TIME THEY BREAK A LITTLE MORE THE WORLD TRUSTS THEM LESS AND LESS #I AM UNWELL ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE VIEWED AS BOTH LESSER AND GREATER AND NEVER NORMAL. NEVER A PEER.#ALWAYS A GOD OR ALWAYS SCUM #I AM UNWELL ABOUT PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY CAN'T REACH OUT BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO BE PERFECT #I AM UNWELL ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS AND PEOPLE DEPENDING ON THEM FOR LIFE. FOR SAFTEY. FOR EVERYTHING.#BUT THEY CAN'T DEPEND ON ANYBODY. THEY CAN'T BE WEAK. SO THEY FIGHT AND FIGHT UNTIL THEY LOSE IT #This post is about Gordon Freeman and Markus RK200 btw. sorry #<- my mental illness showed a little there my bad gang

3 notes · View notes

ae-cha08 · 19 hours

Text

This scripture reminds us of that truth by likening it to a farmer waiting patiently for his crop to grow. With patience our waiting will bear fruit too.

May you be blessed while you are waiting on God!

12 notes · View notes

opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

Text

...

#what does one do when their perception cannot b trusted? im so physically and emotionally exhausted #and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i #think i can stay up all night. i never have to sleep again. look how great i can focus. i could kill god.#and i have no emotional object permanence so it feels so stupid when im normal. i cant sympathize with myself in altered states of mind #and it doesnt matter but it makes me crazy the idea that i might not b bip0lar but i just push myself so far that under pressure my mind #splits into the catastrophically positive or negative. but i feel like this is how i have to live. i have to b perfect or pay a blood debt #and thats just how it is. and thats how its been. so at this point ive spend thr last idk 15 years of my life being d #some measure of miserable for no reason. i dont kno y i do this to myself and im 26 now and idk how to stop bc even pushing myself as hard #as i can im so far behind. how am i supposed to do less and not #and not just quit. im compulsive for a reason. there's a fundamental barrier between myself and understanding language but if i do more and #more and more then i can at least try to keep up with everyone else. idk im so tired. and im 26 and im afraid im stuck like this #and i cant even... its like ive split my head in 2 to cope. ive created distance within myself so that i cant fully feel how terrible i make #things for myself. half my brain is always like lol suffer idiot. it throws off my therapists bc i cant take my own pain seriously. ill #laugh and smile while im like yea i feel horrible like most of the time and i dont kno what to do lol. idk so it goes. i think im gonna stop #with the birth control tho. as it doesnt seem to help with my sadness levels. idk if ite making ot worse or not. guess well find out #itll b easier once i dont have to b trained on things. then i wont have to ask a question and burst into tears on my lab mate 🙄#unrelated

5 notes · View notes