To Make A Power Couple - 10 (knj)
Chapter 10: good news/bad news
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Summary- Almost two years into your relationship with Namjoon, everything seems to be going great... or is it?
word count- 10.8k
pairing- idol!namjoon x ceo!reader
rating- R
genre- series, idolau, fluff, smut, angst
warnings- a lot of things happening in this chapter, lot of friends sharing different news, a lot of talk about the future, caretaker!joon, smut in the forms of softestdom!joon, sub!reader, sensation play (ice), titty worship, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, DADDY KINK (IKR?!?!! WHODVE THUNK?), unprotected sex, subdrop, crying, aftercare, mentions of anxiety and depression, I THINK THAT’S IT.
a.n- and so we get back into things. ive been procrastinating this chapter for ages because i just couldnt get some of the scenes exactly how i wanted them but finished is better than perfect! thank you so much for your patience and i hope you enjoy this new installment. i love you all!
A special thank you to @hobiandsprite and @oftenderweapons for their support throughout the planning and also thank you to @jimilter, @casuallyimagining, and bells for beta reading this for me! I would be putting out literal dumpster fires if it weren’t for them finessing my words.
As always feedback appreciated. Send me an ask! 💌
taglist - @beach-bitch-bitch-beach, @sscheherazadee, @rjsmochii , @jinjccns , @joyful-jimin @sideblogger @agustdpeach @diamonddia-mond, @asdfghjklqwertyv, @cheesecakes-randomshitz, @goldenjongho, @aroseforyoongi, @awhnamjoon, @butterflieswingsthings, @shyning-star, @stillwthyou
Jungkook: here
You watched Jungkook’s message pop up on your screen as you walked towards the elevator, excited for some good food after eating convenience store sushi in Tokyo for two days. Seokjin rarely had dinner parties and even more rarely did they involve going to a restaurant, especially one that was an hour outside of Seoul, but apparently they served the best steak in Korea. So even though you had no time to make it back to your apartment after your flight, you showered at the office and were dressed to the nines in a black dress, complete with heels, trailing your luggage behind you.
Jungkook got out of the car when he saw you, helping you load the bag in the back before opening the door for you and running to his side to get into the driver’s side.
“You know, one of these days, one of you has to learn how to drive,” he commented as he pulled out of the parking space, heading towards the highway. You laughed at his remark, rolling his eyes as you replied to Namjoon’s message to meet him at the venue.
“Why do we have to learn when you can be our personal chauffeur?” you retorted as he turned the radio on, some pop ballad playing through the speakers.
“I do have a life, you know,” he sang, matching the melody flowing through the car. “Plus, aren’t you both old enough to know how to drive?”
“I’m not Seokjin oppa, I will beat your ass for making fun of my age,” you said, lightly tapping his arm as he recoiled dramatically, wincing from the imaginary pain.
“You’re so mean, noona,” he whined, pouting at you as he stopped at a red light.
“Stop being dramatic,” you replied, before remembering a very important detail he had texted you about earlier. “So tell me again, where’s your super secret girlfriend?”
“Wow. Not even a hello and you jump straight into interrogation,” he said, turning onto the highway, the city fading away in the background as he left the bridge he was driving on behind, the water below you turning into sleek slate roads.
“I already said hello,” you waved. “Now, stop stalling! I’m starting to think she’s imaginary.”
“You think I made up a girlfriend?” he asked, incredulous. “Noona, have you seen me? I would never need to make up a girlfriend.” He smirked proudly.
“I swear if your head gets any bigger it’ll explode.”
“Mean! I’m totally humble!”
“You’re totally stalling, Kookie,” you hummed and he laughed in response, before biting his lip bashfully.
“Well, we met at work, and, I don’t know? She’s just great…”
If the last almost two years of dating Namjoon hadn’t made you close to Jungkook, you would’ve missed the way he ducked his head shyly. But you knew just by that one movement how whipped the man in front of you was.
On your drive, you learnt all about Jungkook’s new girlfriend, an assistant producer for one of the shows they had appeared on, recently. Apparently, her name was Areum and she was breathtakingly beautiful as well as the only person who he had dated who wanted to go skydiving with him. You shook your head at his comment, glad that Namjoon would never be into jumping out of planes. He told you about their first date where they went for coffee and talked for hours and you could feel how happy he was, glee radiating off him in waves. You couldn’t help smiling with him as he told you little anecdotes and mirrored his frown when he mentioned how she had to work overtime tonight and couldn’t meet for dinner.
“How do you and hyung do it?” he asked, following the GPS that asked him to make a right turn onto some unpaved country roads.
“Do what?”
“Manage your schedules. Both of yours are crazy!” he exclaimed.
“I don’t know. It’s a lot of texting,” you giggled. “When you love someone you make it work,” you added with a shrug.
“I hope Areum and I can get to where you guys are,” he said, reverant, with a shy smile that scrunched his nose, and you chuckled. If you ever doubted your relationship, all you had to do was look at Jungkook. You loved that he was your biggest fan. As odd as it may seem, it made you feel accepted into the Bangtan family. “Speaking of your man, I can’t believe Namjoon hyung waited for you outside,” he added, shocked as he pulled into the parking lot.
As if on cue, your eyes landed on Namjoon, dressed in a nice shirt and pants, the attire peeking through a large puffy coat he had left unzipped. As Jungkook and you put on some cloth face masks, he jogged up to the car, opening your door as soon as it was unlocked.
“Hi, baby. How was the flight?” he asked, hugging you as soon as you stepped out of the car, and you felt your heart warm as you wrapped your arms around him under his coat.
“Good,” you murmured against his chest as he hummed, hugging you tighter and swaying a little.
“Tired?” he asked and you shook your head.
“Hyung, I know we’re outside the city but save the PDA for inside,” Jungkook joked, laughing as he made his way into the restaurant. Namjoon pressed his masked lips to your forehead, trying to simulate a kiss, and you laughed as the two of you followed Jungkook to the restaurant.
The gathering was substantial, about twenty people or so. With the band and their managers and their various partners, the restaurant seemed full, despite it only hosting your party for the night. Chaotic would be an understatement for the room, loud with multiple conversations happening across the table. It was funny to you how it seemed as if all of you were at home, the waitstaff making minimal appearances as they left you all to your antics.
Bottles of wine were emptied as the night went on, and true to Seokjin’s word, the steak was some of the best you had ever had. The pieces even came with a family chart to certify the authenticity of the expensive meat. You felt a little bad eating something whose name was proudly printed on a little flag, but you’d be hard pressed to argue that it wasn’t absolutely delicious.
You had initially thought the dinner was a sort of farewell to the boys going away on another press run next month. However, two bottles of wine in and with a coy smile, Seokjin, showcasing his uniquely chaotic nature, was tapping an unused pair of chopsticks against the glass for attention, to reveal the real reason for the gathering.
He kissed his girlfriend’s cheek, before standing up once the room was silent.
“Friends, I have great news,” he began, his ears a bright red.
“If he says he’s handsome… I swear to god…” Namjoon whispered in your ear and you giggled, squeezing his hand in yours.
“I, Mister Worldwide Handsome,” he continued, only to be booed by the room, Yoongi going so far to toss a piece of lettuce at him, his cheeks a bright red from the alcohol and a mischievous smile on his face. Needless to say, he had booed the loudest.
“Fucking rude!” Seokjin grimaced. “As I was saying, Yoongi, I invited you all here tonight to celebrate something really special. Darling,” he said, turning to his girlfriend, gently holding her hand as she stood up. “We’re engaged!” he squealed, as she held up her exorbitant diamond ring.
The room became completely silent, everyone looking at the oldest member in surprise before erupting into a cacophony of cheers. People jumped from their seats to hug and congratulate Seokjin and his fiancee. The wait staff seemed to be in the know about the celebration, if the immediate presence of champagne flutes were anything to go by.
By the time dessert was finished and Namjoon and you got into the backseat of Jungkook’s car, your head was hazy with the alcohol, a goofy grin on your face. You leaned your head against your boyfriend as he put his arm around you, letting you cuddle into him. You felt sleepy from all the food, and you had missed Namjoon wrapped around you.
“I’ll wake you when we get home,” he said with a peck on your lips as he stroked your hair. He felt content, a little sleepy himself, soon dozing off, glad that Yoongi was keeping Jungkook company as he drove so as not to fully ignore his youngest friend.
He dreamed of proposing to you on one knee with the ring that had been hidden away in his studio for over six months.
You walked slowly into your bedroom after Jungkook dropped the two of you off, still half asleep as you stripped your dress and bra, opting to grab one of Namjoon’s shirts before dropping into bed, sighing as exhaustion took over.
Namjoon chuckled at your form in the middle of the bed, stripping to his boxers, his usual sleeping attire, picking up your clothes and heading to the bathroom to grab a makeup wipe. He smacked your ass lightly as he climbed on the bed, turning you around as you groaned. Your face tickled as he removed your makeup and you scrunched your nose, making Namjoon coo.
Leaning in, he kissed your nose. “There’s my pretty girl,” he exclaimed, smiling widely and you returned his grin, wrapping your arms around his neck. Pulling him to you, you kissed him, humming against his lips as he laid on top of you, his hands roaming under your shirt to hold onto your waist.
Without breaking the kiss, he moved you higher up the bed till your head was against the pillows. He deepened the kiss, his heart pounding as his tongue met yours and his hands found purchase on your chest. He had just started grinding on you, ready to devour you when you pushed him back.
“Raincheck?” you asked sheepishly, a hand on the side of his face. He whined a little, moving his face to nuzzle into your neck, nipping at the skin lightly.
“You sure? I can do all the work,” he replied, his hand moving under you to gently massage your ass as his lips continued their actions on your neck. You wanted to continue but the day had been so long, and the lack of sleep was making you feel as if your head was hazy, floating in space. You could feel his dick hard against you and although usually you would be begging for it, you kind of just wanted to sleep in your own bed with your boyfriend next to you.
You apologized and he cut you off with a light kiss, before moving off you and tucking you into his side, an arm under your head and the other pulling your leg over him before resting on your hip. “Don’t apologize. We can just sleep,” he said with a smile, his lips on your forehead.
“I love you.” You cuddled into him, relaxing in his scent, a reprieve from the overly bleached smell of hotel bed sheets.
“Love you too, baby,” he said, before continuing. “Can you believe hyung is getting married?”
“Right? It’s kinda crazy!” you exclaimed, looking up at him as he stroked your hair. He laughed at your comment.
“Why? Cause he still acts like he’s twelve?”
“Nah… Well, yes,” you giggled, running your fingers up his arm as he snuggled further into the pillows, moving his head a few times in an attempt to move a strand away from his eyes. You pushed the pesky hair away before speaking as he scrunched his nose in gratitude. “It’s ‘cause it’s hardly practical. right? Like what if someone leaks it? Or they get a divorce? We’re young, why settle down already?”
Namjoon’s smile fell at your words but you missed it, moving your head onto his chest, your fingers now trailing around his stomach. You hummed a little in the silence, unaware of how many questions were buzzing through your boyfriend’s head at your nonchalant dismissal of marriage. Had you always thought like this? Was Namjoon just imagining that you’d want a future with him as much as he wanted one with you?
“We’re not that young… We’re almost thirty,” he said tentatively, and you just shrugged.
“Yeah, but we’re so busy. What’s even the point of getting married already?”
“I don’t know. To be with each other? Do you not like marriage?” Namjoon knew he was a little snappy in his response, but he couldn’t help feeling a bit upset by your statement.
“I’m not against marriage… It’s just something for the future,” you replied, your sleepiness rendering you unable to read too much into his words and removing the filter from yours as you chuckled. “Don’t tell me you want to get married already!”
“I mean is that so crazy to want?” He brought his hand to your cheek, lifting your head to look at you. Although he was hurt by you brushing off the notion, he couldn’t help hoping that you were speaking from hypotheticals. The two of you had been together for almost two years, how could you not see how perfectly you fit together?
“It’s not,” you said, gazing into his eyes, confused by the sudden tension in his muscles as he stiffened in your embrace. “Just in the future, you know. You wanna marry me?”
“More than anything in the world,” he answered, determined. “I’ll marry you right now, if you ask me to.”
“Easy there, Joonie. We have time. Why rush it?”
“You wanna marry me?” he asked instead of answering.
“More than anything in the world,” you replied with the same determination as him. “But in the future. Is that okay?”
He softened a little at your sheepish tone, leaning in to kiss you. “In the future,” he agreed, leaning back as you hummed and closed your eyes, cuddling him.
He stroked your hair mindlessly, distracted by disappointment. He didn’t want to dwell on it, but he had planned to propose to you next month when he returned from the next bout of PR appearances in Japan. Maybe it was for the best you had discussed this. Better than being on one knee and hearing you say no.
He sighed, noting that you were already asleep, your hand that was caressing him still as you laid with your mouth open. Perhaps he didn’t need to label you as his wife yet. If you wanted to wait, he could wait for you. He’d always wait for you.
You heard Namjoon enter through the front door, his sigh loud as he dropped his things in the hallway. Looking up from your laptop on the couch, you saw him standing still for a while, a frown on his face as he seemed to be contemplating something. Before you could ask him what was wrong, he spoke.
“Can we cuddle?” His voice was soft, almost a whisper, as he moved towards you and the couch. “Please?”
Wordlessly, you put the laptop on the coffee table and stretched your arms out to him. He sighed in relief as he got on the couch, but instead of joining you in a hug he climbed behind you, adjusting himself to sit with you between his legs as his arms went around your waist.
“You can keep working. It’s okay.” He put your computer in your lap again before moving his arms back around your waist, hugging you tightly and nuzzling his head in your hair. He pressed his cheek against your shoulder as you placed one of your hands over his arms.
The whole day had been nothing but an endless array of disappointments. As always, whenever they had to go somewhere overseas, their team had sat Namjoon and the band down to go over every little thing, from schedules to style to things they needed to emphasize in the interviews. It was always the same and it always made his head spin. The overload of information was dizzying, and all he wanted was to fall asleep in your arms.
Not to mention the last meeting he had to sit in with his CEO. That was what was bothering him the most.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not yet… just need you.” He cuddled in further, letting out another content sigh as your scent engulfed him. Namjoon hated that he was being this needy but today was beyond frustrating for him, he was exhausted. Spending the whole day putting on a smile and being alert was tough on him. Although he was pretty extroverted, the past few days of filming and your weird dismissal of his non-proposal had taken a toll on him. He chuckled silently to himself at the fact that although his worries included you, you were the balm he needed for them.
“Do you know what I love about you?” he said after fifteen minutes of silence, alerting you to the fact that despite your suspicions, he was still awake.
“My ass?” you joked, turning a little in his grip to look at him as he rested his face against your shoulder. He scrunched his nose in annoyance at your question, before pulling back a little to look at you, his words flurried.
“No… I mean, yes, your ass is fantastic and I’m going to beg you till the end of time to let me fuck it, like fuck, baby do you know -”
“Joonie, you’re getting sidetracked,” you interrupted with a kiss on his cheek.
“Sorry,” he chuckled, settling back on your shoulder, his hands playing with yours on your lap. “I love that you don’t ask questions.”
“What?” you asked, a little defensive, considering that you thought you asked too many questions.
“No… I mean when I’m feeling needy and make demands like for you to cuddle me while you’re working, or for you to make me your noodles, you just do it, no questions asked. And I… I really appreciate you for that. For supporting me, even when I don’t have the energy to support myself.” He emphasized his point with a kiss on your cheek, his words making you a little flushed.
“Joon… I’ll always be here for you, whatever you need,” you said, turning on your side so your legs were on top of one of his on the couch. You hugged him, his head trapped under your chin on your chest as your arms wrapped around his neck.
“I know, and just… I love you. I love you a lot and thank you. Thank you for being here for me even when I’m a shit boyfriend,” he mumbled against your shirt, his arms squeezing you against him.
“You’re never a shit boyfriend, baby. And don’t thank me, this is why we’re together right? To be here for each other, for whatever we need.” You ran your fingers through his hair, massaging the scalp in a way that made him groan. He could feel his stress melting away at your touch, his body feeling like softened butter as he relaxed.
“So, if I said I need to fu-”
“Wow. You must be feeling better, I guess I can stop cuddling you.” You rolled your eyes, pretending to get off the couch. Before you could move, Namjoon’s arms tightened, pulling you even closer as he pleaded in your ear, his lips tickling your cheeks.
“No no no! Sorry. Please don’t leave. I’ll stop talking about how amazing your ass is.”
“I mean it is pretty great.”
“The greatest!” he proclaimed, before the two of you broke into giggles, relaxing against each other as your speakers played some calming instrumental music that you usually reserved for when you were working.
You hummed along as you continued to run your fingers through his hair, the longest it had been since you met him, the ashy grey strands still soft despite being dry from over-bleaching. The silence felt comforting, as if the two of you were bathing in it. It rolled over your bodies, relaxing your muscles as it cascaded around you, a content calm.
“I think I’m ready to talk,” Namjoon said after a while, not willing to move from where he was nestled in your embrace. He heaved a heavy sigh before continuing. “They gave us the dates for the next tour.”
“When is it?” You bit your lip, your heart starting to beat faster. You always hated being away from him. Although the two of you had a lot of practice with long distance, it never meant that it got any easier.
“End of this year. For three hundred and twenty days,” he replied, finally looking up at you with a frown that only deepened when he saw a matching one on your face.
“No breaks?”
“Some breaks. Short ones. I know it’s like half a year away but I’m sad. I don’t wanna leave you for so long,” he lamented, his voice breaking a little as the stress from the day caught up to him, his exhaustion manifesting as moisture in his eyes.
You placed your hand on his cheek, meeting his lips with yours, and he lost himself for a moment, his mind clearing as he relished in being in your arms.
“Hey. We’ll get through it. We’ll facetime, I’ll come to as many shows as I can. I’ll match when I’m in Japan and Canada with your tour. We can do it,” you spoke with conviction and Namjoon couldn’t help but feel a little pathetic at crying over something so routine. He hid his face in your neck, kissing the skin gently.
“I’ll miss you so much. I already miss you and you’re right here.”
“Baby it’s more than six months away. Stop overthinking,” you shushed him, pulling away from him a little to wipe his face, and he took the opportunity to kiss you, a slow sensual kiss shared only to feel each other, without the expectation of escalation.
“I know. I just want you close to me,” he murmured, his forehead against yours.
“If I was any closer I’d be literally under your skin,” you joked.
“Mmm I’d like that.” He kissed you again as you giggled at his antics
“Yeah you want me to get under your skin? Don’t I annoy you enough without you requesting it?” you said, pushing him away a little.
“Lame! Come closer,” he demanded playfully, wrapping you in his arms again as he swayed a little to the music, enjoying the quiet moment.
“Sleep time?” you asked after he yawned.
“You think you could piggy back me?” he joked, only to start flailing when you took the opportunity to quickly jump off his lap to attempt to pick him up. “Babe I was kidding! You’re gonna drop me!” he protested, a leg in the air as you huffed trying your best to lift him from the couch.
“Oh my god! Why are you so heavy?” you groaned, and he laughed falling backwards on the couch and taking you with him, his earlier stress forgotten as the two of you giggled.
Morning came too soon. Bright and early, your alarm started playing My Chemical Romance - you both were going through a nostalgic emo phase. What a way to welcome a busy Sunday morning. The two of you groaned as you cuddled closer, wanting nothing more than to laze around but knowing that you had less than an hour to reach Harry’s house for an early brunch, made you roll out of bed and into the shower. Trust Harry to name breakfast early brunch just because it was a Sunday.
To be completely honest, Namjoon really didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay in and cuddle. The upcoming six months felt like a ticking time bomb of sorts, and with him going away again next week, even if just for a short five days, he felt like he needed to spend every free moment together. He didn’t care what the two of you did, he just wanted to hold you close. Perhaps it was the schedule of long, grueling practices that was handed to him yesterday, or maybe it was how his therapist had reminded him to hold onto things that meant something to him recently, but he felt extra clingy.
However, despite his earlier begrudging, the brunch was actually fun. He had forgotten how well Harry and Jen meshed with the two of you. Conversations were easy, almost carefree. The slight pout on Namjoon’s face all morning had lifted and that made you feel better. You hated pushing him to do things he didn’t want to, but you had been delaying Harry’s invites for two weeks now, and you owed it to your best friend to have a few mimosas. You watched as your boyfriend and Harry laughed at a meme, mimicking it with silly faces as the pitcher of drinks dwindled. It felt comforting, being with your favourite people.
While the men bonded over a show they both had recently watched, Jen and you talked about her annoying supervisor. Jen worked in fashion marketing. Having uprooted her life in Canada to move here for Harry, she had initially had a tough time finding a job and settled for a fairly entry level position despite her graduate degree and past experience. She was someone who took initiative and hated her slightly sexist supervisor who kept telling her to stay in her lane, or worse--taking credit for her ideas. She was passionately discussing another instance of him writing her up for setting up a new way to track their social media analytics when you noticed that she was the only one talking at the table. You smiled at Harry as a way to encourage him to talk to Namjoon, but your boyfriend seemed to be interested in Jen’s rant, adding occasional comments. It warmed your heart to see him genuinely taking an interest.
“Darling, chill. You’ve been talking their ears off about this guy.” Harry chuckled as he looked at Jen. “Y/N already knows how much you hate him, and I’m guessing Namjoon too, by now. You talk too much.”
What was meant as a playful remark didn’t seem to be taken as such when Jen glared at him, crossing her arms and abruptly shutting up. Ah, you knew things would get awkward, especially since the pitcher of mimosa was running low. Although Harry and Jen had an almost perfect relationship, having been together for over nine years, every time Harry got tipsy he found some way to get on her nerves. Case and point.
“Well this happened on Friday, they don’t know about this.” She scowled in his direction, shrugging his arm from around her shoulders. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Namjoon stiffen, not used to their usual bickering. You placed your hand on his thigh, squeezing gently and using all your telepathy to signal to him that this was not a big deal - ah, the downsides of dating an empath.
Before it could get too annoying, you decided to mediate. “Harry, stop being rude and apologize to your wife,” you chided, watching Jen look smugly at her husband who was sputtering about being cornered. Jen continued gloating till Harry accepted defeat.
“Sorry, my beautiful wife,” he sang, as she rolled her eyes. “Even though you’re not mad at me, but your hormones are,” he continued, causing Jen to groan in response.
“Honey! You ruined the surprise!” she whined, as Namjoon and you looked at each other, dumbfounded. However, the gears in your brain started turning as you put together how Jen hadn’t touched any alcohol, how Harry was being weirdly overprotective of her all day, and how she seemed to have gained a little bit of weight.
“Holy shit! Are you guys pregnant?” you yelled, jumping up from your seat, knocking it over behind you in a loud crash that was ignored as you ran to the other side of the table pulling Jen into a hug, the two of you jumping up and down.
It was a flurry of congratulations and hugs, as the expecting couple showed you pictures of ultrasounds and Pinterest boards of the plans for their nursery. You felt excited for your friends, albeit a bit weirded out. These were the first close friends of yours who were expecting a child and it made you question your mortality a little. Were you all really old enough to be having kids? To be moulding lives? Somehow, despite your insistence that you were all pretty young, you supposed it wasn’t that odd for them to plan a family - isn’t that what long term couples in their late twenties did?
You watched Namjoon as he cooed over the black and white blob in the photograph, his eyes shining with excitement, wondering whether he was envious. You weren’t an idiot, you had seen his interviews and his baby shoes, not to mention the amount of pictures he had shared of toddlers in cute outfits to you over Instagram. Namjoon had full blown baby fever, but you knew that not only was it too soon for the two of you to take that step - it was even too soon for marriage! - but it was too soon for you to even think about getting pregnant. You felt a little panicked wondering if that was what your boyfriend expected to happen soon.
Your reverie was broken by Harry, asking to talk to you in private, and you gladly took the interruption to follow him to his office. You leaned against the table, smiling gently at the pictures that adorned the wall next to it - pictures of him and Jen on their first date, his family, the two of you sitting in your dorm room exhausted after officially launching your company. Your smile widened at a newer photo you hadn’t seen before, one of you and your friends at their last party, all of you pulling odd faces. It was the only picture that contained Namjoon and you felt a little touched that he was up on Harry’s wall.
“Hey, you know you’re my best friend, right?” Harry started, a little timidly, pulling your attention away from the photographs. He seemed a little nervous and you wondered if you were being asked to be a godmother. With a little coaxing and joking around, he told you what was on his mind, but it wasn’t the happy news you were thinking of.
“I think we’re going to move back,” he said gently, trying to gauge your response with furrowed brows, but all you could do was stare at him.
“But you can’t be COO from Toronto, Harry,” you said with an air of desperate playfulness that was lost once you saw the corner of his lips pull up in a sad smile.
“I’m sorry, but I’ll still be here to support you and listen to your rants,” he assured, walking closer to you, but all you could do is step back. You knew rationally that it made sense for him to move back - he probably wanted his child to be close to his grandparents and to give Jen a reprieve from her terrible work environment but no matter how much you tried to convince yourself all you could feel was betrayal. Betrayal and abandonment.
“I’ll tell the board myself at the next meeting. I’ll make sure there’s no trouble for you,” he explained, knowing the look on your face, but you could barely hear him over the anxiety you felt pumping in your veins.
“I need to go home,” you said a little robotically as you made your way out of his office, Harry trailing behind you.
“Come on, bub, don’t be like that. Stay. Let’s talk,” he insisted.
“Namjoon, we’re leaving,” you called to your boyfriend who just looked at you, confusion marring his features as you marched out of the house.
Uttering a distracted goodbye and apology to the hosts, Namjoon followed you to the car trying to figure out how the atmosphere has taken such a drastic 180, his thoughts fighting against wanting to protect you and giving his friends the benefit of the doubt.
“What happened?” Namjoon asked once the two of you were back in the car. Despite your best efforts, you looked distraught. He could see it in the way your frown deepened as you lost yourself in your thoughts. When he repeated his question, you finally looked up at him, mouth pressed close and brows furrowed.
“Yellow,” you said simply, and Namjoon's heart felt like it dropped to his stomach. He knew it had to be something truly devastating if you didn’t want to talk about it yet. Even though every instinct in his body told him to prod further, he respected you enough to let it go for the moment, moving closer to you and wrapping his arms around you.
To his dismay, you shrugged him off, moving next to the door, your eyes fixed on the passing scenery. You barely spared him a glance, crossing your arms when he reached for your hand. You were aware that you were probably hurting his feelings, but you knew that if he tried to comfort you right now, you would break, shatter into a million pieces, and you didn’t have the strength to deal with it right now.
Walking into the apartment, you didn’t feel much better. All you could think was that you were alone. Even though Namjoon was next to you, you felt as if you were standing on the edge of an icy mountain, the wind whipping through you like lashes that would leave permanent scars. You didn’t want to think about tomorrow. You didn’t want to think about how, in a moment, Harry had left you behind to deal with the chaos that his departure would inevitably bring. You just didn’t want to think.
Taking a deep breath, you looked at Namjoon standing in the kitchen, getting a glass of water, undoubtedly for you and you felt your heart inflate. Running up to him, you draped your arms around him and crashed your lips onto his. If he was startled by your sudden bout of affection, he didn’t let it show. Instead he held you just as tightly, matching the vigour of your lips as his tongue dominated yours.
“Please, Joonie,” you pleaded, not wanting to stop, yet not knowing what you were asking for.
“Tell me what you need,” Namjoon asked, his lips tracing your cheeks as his hands pulled you impossibly closer. “Tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you. I’ll give you anything you want.”
His words brought a lump to your throat and you couldn’t help kissing him again, pouring your love and gratitude into his lips. When you broke apart, he was cupping your face, looking at you with such devotion that you averted your gaze. You didn’t want his soft touches, you wanted him to punish you for pushing him away. Punish you for being the stupid person that relied so heavily on another. For being scared and weak. And so you asked for just that.
When Namjoon heard your plea to be punished, he felt out of his depth. He didn’t want to cause you more pain, the anguish on your face was giving him pause. He knew that you often disguised your emotions, using sex as an outlet to make yourself let go. He didn’t want to spank you as you were begging but he also didn’t want to let you down, and so he kissed you - stopping your pleas to indulge you.
“Please, I don’t want to think anymore. Just wanna be good for you,” you said, your desperation dripping from your words and how you clutched the front of his shirt, wrinkling the cotton under your grip. And Namjoon had no other choice but to please you, help you forget your worries. He knew what you needed to not think, to forget about your worries, so he gave in to his own need - need to make you feel safe and taken care of.
He broke your kiss to turn you around, his lips trailing down your neck as he suckled the skin, his hands wrapping around your waist to pull you closer as an idea formed in his head. “My sweet girl,” he muttered as he felt you relax against him, letting him take over like you always did. His hands trailed up your stomach, leaving goosebumps as they pulled the hem of your shirt with them, and he relished your little moan at his praise. His lips reached your ear, nibbling at the skin as he spoke, his voice gravelly.
“I’m not gonna spank, today,” he said, ignoring your whine with a harsh nip at your ear that made you melt. “I’m in charge… I’ll punish you how I want, isn't that right?” He punctuated his question with a hand on your neck, using it to make you look up to him. When you nodded, your eyes big, he kissed you, languidly caressing your tongue with his, tasting the mimosas from earlier.
“You wanna be my good girl but not talk?” he asked, his tone a little harsher than he wanted, but it only made you want him more. Turning around, you murmured a little apology that was quickly swallowed by his lips as he pulled you closer by the grip on your ass, massaging the flesh in a way that made your chest warm.
“I won’t punish you for whatever’s in your silly head right now, but I’ll punish you if you make another sound, understood?”
“But-”
Your protest was cut short by him nipping at your lower lip, pulling the flesh in a taunt that silenced you. “That’s one, baby,” he chided with a kiss to your swollen lip.
“I’m sorry,” you answered, voice meek, realizing your mistake as he clicked his tongue in reprimand, his hands cupping your face. You looked oddly innocent, your face looking younger as you stared at him with big eyes and pouty lips, and he couldn’t help kissing you again, softly pulling your lips between his.
“Two. Not another sound, pretty girl,” he reminded you, his thumbs tracing your cheekbones. “Now go to our room, strip, fold your clothes and then stand in the middle. Eyes closed, hands behind your back. Understood?”
His voice was harsh, commanding and you couldn’t help nodding in response. He kissed you at that, before letting you go, patting your behind to get you moving. You felt as if you were in a daze, your body moving at its own accord, following his instructions without hesitation. Soon, you were in your room naked and blinded, waiting for him.
You didn’t know how long he would take, but you trusted him, your body vibrating with anticipation. However, the silence was daunting, and you were once again left with your thoughts, dread for tomorrow swirling within you, making your breaths shallower and your heart race. You felt stupid for being so scared, so anxious about something as mundane as a resignation, but then again, Harry wasn’t just some employee. He was your best friend, someone who had been through the trenches with you. Someone who had seen you at your worst and still decided to believe in you. Someone who was now leaving you behind. If he could leave, couldn’t everyone else too? Like Namjoon. What was stopping him from stepping out of your life just as easily?
“I didn’t tell you to think, now did I?” Namjoon asked, his chest molded to your back, as he ran a finger up your arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake and breaking you out of your spiral. His lips were back on your neck, his favourite place, and you had to actively stop yourself from moaning at his reverent touches.
A resolve that was quickly broken when you felt something cold caress the side of your chest. You gasped loudly, your hands holding on to his thighs and eyes fluttering open to see his fingers holding an ice cube, delicately tracing the melting crystal around the curve of your breast. The sensation was new, making you shake a little in his hold as he used his other hand to warm the trail of cold water it left behind.
“Three. You’re forgetful today, huh?” he said, playfully, watching the way your nipples hardened as he trailed the icicle over them. He could hear your breaths get heavier, your face relaxing as you closed your eyes again, a stark contrast to how you seemed on the verge of a meltdown when he arrived earlier. He was glad to give you the reprieve in his arms, kissing your cheek as he watched your furrowed brows dissolve.
He let the ice melt as he traced it around your torso till it was merely water glistening on your skin. Moving around your body, he let his lips move from your shoulders to your chest, capturing your nipple between them and lapping at it with his tongue.
It was tantalizing. Your knees almost buckled at the sensation as you used every bit of willpower to ensure your hands remained behind your back and your lips sealed. You dug your fingernails into your forearm as he repeated the action on your other nipple, his hands firmly holding your waist so you couldn’t feel anything other than his lips and the way his hair gently tickled your skin at every suckle.
He moved away, giving you a break, before gently commanding you to get on your knees, guiding you slowly till you were sitting on your heels. His fingers cupped your face before he kissed you again, igniting stars behind your eyelids as you lost yourself in him. All you could feel was his touch as he stroked your hair when he stood up, the anticipation making you wetter as you pressed your thighs together. He saw your action, and using his foot, he ensured your legs were far apart, not granting you any relief. You almost whined, but you remembered your rules, biting your lip instead.
“Open your eyes, baby,” he said, his hand cupping your jaw and thumb releasing your lip from between your teeth. When you followed his command you were rewarded by your boyfriend, completely naked as he stood in front of you. You couldn’t help your eyes tracing over him, from his strong shoulders to his defined pecs that sloped into a taut stomach with lines leading to his almost hard dick, only inches away from your face.
You didn’t think about waiting for any more instructions, your mouth moving towards him of its own accord. Your tongue traced his length, before you suckled on his tip, enjoying the way he sighed. His hand brushed lightly at your scalp as you took him in deeper, feeling him inflate in your mouth as you started bobbing your head ever so slightly.
You wanted to moan at the way his taste erupted on your tongue, the way his cock twitched between your lips, but you wanted to be good for him, give him everything he wanted, so you kept quiet, your hands itching behind you to run up his legs. You looked up at him, when his other hand joined your hair, his touch still gentle, and you relaxed your throat taking him deeper, loving how he bit his lip as you swallowed.
He groaned, his grip in your hair getting tighter and you slid back, resting your ass on your feet to start moving down his length faster, taking him deeper with each slide as he finally deciphered your blown pupils and wide eyes and rocked his hips. It started slow, but soon he was fucking your face, your spit drooling down your lips at each stroke, making him more feral. You closed your eyes, letting his hands and grunts guide you as you concentrated on not moaning in ecstasy.
“Look at me, sweet baby,” he cooed, and you were greeted by his face etched in focus as a bead of sweat dripped down his brow. He looked incredible, his forearms flexed as he moved his hips that you couldn’t help moaning as he fucked you, watching the way he smirked in response.
“Four, baby,” he tsked. He moaned loudly as you sucked harder in revenge, your tongue tracing his length inside your mouth as he pulled back. He was trying to hold back, to make himself last longer, but with the way your face twisted in bliss as he let go he couldn’t help increasing his pace.
“Swallow it all. Be my good girl,” he grunted as he felt your throat tickle his tip, his stomach jolting and clenching as he came closer to his end. You sat with your mouth open, your tongue hanging out and Namjoon had never felt so lucky. He stroked his cock a few times before he was cumming into your awaiting mouth, out of breath.
You showed him his cum resting on your tongue before swallowing, the bittersweet taste making you roll your eyes back as you beamed at him. He giggled, his heart turning into fluff at how your hands were still behind your back, and he bent down to kiss you. He moved your hands to his shoulders as you sighed in his mouth in relief, pulling him closer.
You could make out with him for hours, your sore knees and worries forgotten as his tongue played with yours and he grabbed your ass. You didn't even feel him stand up, but soon you were being lifted and dropped on the bed, his body resting over yours as he continued to kiss you. He broke away when you could feel the air in your lungs running out, his hand cupping his face as he slotted his knee between your legs. You couldn’t help but grind against it, your breath hitching at how the slight touch made you quiver. He hadn’t even touched you and you were dripping against him.
“You did so good, lovely,” he said softly, pecking your nose, and you felt your heart inflate, just wanting to be wrapped in his embrace forever. You wrapped your hands and legs around him, pulling him to you as he fell with a little huff, chuckling at your actions and kissing your neck. It felt odd being so needy for him, but you couldn’t help it. You wanted to drown in him, to have him engulf you till all you could think or breathe was him. He let you indulge, leaving little bruises where his lips trailed over your chest, as you felt your skin heat up, your hips canting gently against his thigh. It was magical. It was overwhelming.
You whined as he detangled your limbs, moving your hands behind the small of your back as he laved over your nipples, making you needier. He travelled down your body, leaving a trail of kisses that shone in the dim light of your room, his hair tickling you and making goosebumps erupt. With each gentle touch, your breaths became heavier - your lust increasing, leaving your mind in a haze.
“Five,” he reprimanded and you felt a sudden bout of guilt. You couldn’t do anything right today, could you? Not even follow his simple instructions. All you had to do was keep quiet and you couldn’t even manage that. Why would Namjoon even bother being with you when you couldn’t even please him in bed, the bare minimum of a relationship?
You had barely noticed the way you stilled, getting lost in your thoughts again, but Namjoon saw the way your face dropped, your lip wobbling a little, and it broke his heart. He moved back to your face, his fingers tracing your features slowly till your eyes were on him. He kissed you gently, letting his love flow to you, hoping to take away all of your worries.
“Stay with me, Y/N,” he whispered, kissing your cheek, stroking your scalp. “Is it too hard to be quiet?” he asked, and you nodded despite desperately wanting not to disappoint him. He smiled at you, kissing you again. “That’s okay, baby. We can take that away. You can speak, okay?”
“I’m sorry,” you said softly, averting your gaze, and he just gave you a gentle dismissive hum, holding your chin and kissing you deeply. You left your hands behind your back even though you wanted to hold him, instead arching into him. He took the hint, his hands roaming down your body as he pulled your hands from under you and around him, his own encompassing you tightly.
He didn’t want to punish you anymore. He just wanted you to feel good, take away the rare frailty that seemed to drown you, and praise you, worship you. Initially he planned to edge you, knowing how much you enjoyed being kept on your toes, wanting to turn you into a needy mess, but the way you were apologizing and clinging to him didn’t sit right with him. He just wanted to please you, vanish the thoughts that were haunting you and make you happy again.
Bracing his weight on his forearm under you, he let his free hand roaming down your body without breaking the kiss. His fingers met your wet folds and you jolted, a mewl escaping your lips, as he ran his fingers over your slit slowly, teasing you.
He traced circles on your clit and he moved his lips away from yours to watch you, increasing his pace as your face contorted in pleasure. Your hips started moving on their own as you lost yourself in the feel of him, feeling so small under his hold.
When a finger entered you, you moaned, pleading for more, and he obliged with a sloppy peck to your cheek. His fingers started moving faster, each thrust lighting you up in ecstasy as he whispered how well you were doing for him.
“Please… Joonie… gonna cum if you don’t stop,” you whimpered, looking at him with glassy eyes, and he just smiled, his dimples deepening in affection.
“Then cum, my pretty girl,” he said, his thumb on your clit making you lose your senses as galaxies exploded inside you, making you forget anything other than his touch as you writhed under him.
He slowed his movements, never stopping as you came down from your high. You moaned as you got more sensitive but he didn’t stop, relishing the way your walls fluttered around his digits as he hit that spot within you that made your limbs tremble.
He moved his body to your side and used the hand under you to curl you towards him, capturing your lips in another searing kiss that left you scrambling for him, nails digging into his side and shoulder.
“That’s one. Count and say thank you,” he muttered, his fingers still driving in you, palm on your clit making shockwaves run through your legs as they tightened around his hand.
“One. Thank you, Joonie,” you moaned, your back arching as he slowly picked up the speed, and your hands took purchase in the long hair on the nape of his neck.
“That’s my girl,” he praised with a kiss on your cheek. “My best girl. My smart baby. Four more for being so good for me, okay?”
His words sent a warmth through you, tinged with a slight dread for your throbbing cunt. His mixture of adoration and control made your nerves go haywire, amplified by how he picked up the pace and took your nipple between his lips, his tongue flicking the nub as he sucked on it. The combination was enough to light you up once again, pushing you off the cliff as you spasmed under his hold, mewling his name.
“Two. Thank you.”
You could barely hear his reply over your pounding heart, feeling like your nerves were frayed. You felt like you were floating, his lips making their way down your body till they latched on your clit, repeating the actions of his mouth on your nipple. Your chest was heaving at the onslaught of sensations racing through you, your exhales turning into whines as he continued his ministrations. You fisted the bedsheets next to you, pulling the silky material as your hips rutted against his face, oversensitivity turning your legs to jelly.
The third time he made you cum, it was like reaching nirvana, an out of body experience that drenched the sheets and made you sob. His fingers were ruthless as they pistoned in and out of you, turning you limbless as you clenched around them, your pussy sucking them in like your life depended on it. Your voice was hoarse when you screamed your gratitude, tears streaking your face. Namjoon spoke but you were lost in the bittersweet pleasure, unable to comprehend anything other than the way his expert touch brought an onslaught of a tingling pain that left you panting.
“Y/N. Colour?” he said, louder this time, his fingers stilling as he climbed over you to check on you, waiting for you to calm down.
“Green,” you sighed, cupping his face and kissing him so fiercely he felt as if you would devour him whole. “Want your cock, Joonie. Please… fuck me… please,” you pleaded, and he had no choice then to give in to your sweet voice and sweeter touches.
His cock replaced his fingers, the stretch making your eyes roll back into your skull as you held him close. He slowly filled you and your pussy fluttered around him, too sensitive but all too needy for more. He kissed you just as he thrust into you for the first time and you couldn’t help leaving scratches on his back.
“So good. Please, Joonie,” you whined, teeth on his bicep as his forearms landed next to your head and he started a hard and slow pace. With every stroke you could feel the pain ebbing into euphoria. Your tears continued as you mouthed at his neck, the salty taste of his sweat leaving you wanting more, pulling him closer till his face was buried next to yours, his little grunts and raspy moans in your ear sending you higher. You nails scratched down his back to his ass and you groped at the flesh as he went impossibly deep, his hips slamming into your faster now, pulling you closer and closer to the cusp.
“Four! Thank you, daddy!” you screamed once you came again, holding on to him like your life depended on it. You didn’t know why you used the moniker that you had once laughed at him for. Perhaps you wanted to do it for him as a thank you for the way he was pulling you towards new heights of pleasure. Perhaps it was because you had never felt safer than you did with his large body drowning yours. All you knew was that it felt perfect in the moment. Too perfect not to moan it into the air as his face moved from your hair to look at you, his skepticism fading with each one of your repetitions and melting into the way he fucked into you with vigour.
“Daddy’s good little girl,” he groaned as your pussy tightened around him, holding on to the edge of his sanity as he gritted his teeth. He hadn’t expected you to ever call him the elusive word of his fantasies, and the way you looked at him with wet lashes and bruised lips was bringing him to his end faster than he wanted.
He still wanted you to cum one last time, to let go for him so he could fill you up. With a kiss, he brought his hand back to your clit, ignoring the way you jolted and yelped. He wanted you to be exhausted, so satiated that your earlier worries would disappear.
“Last one, baby. You going to give it to me?” he questioned, his lips missing yours and landing on your cheek as he tried to keep some semblance of control, his dick twitching inside you.
“Yes, daddy,” you whimpered, your pussy raw from his hard thrusts and rough circling of your clit. Your legs started shaking first, then your arms as you lost yourself under the wave again, a pitiful, high pitched whine escaping your lips. This orgasm felt more forced than the others, the rough pain prickling at the edges as you rode it, but all you wanted was more.
He delivered, his movements becoming sloppier but faster as he followed you, jumping head first straight into his own orgasm, filling you up, and collapsing on you. Your ears buzzed as the two of you caught your breath, hair plastered to your forehead with sweat. Namjoon was eager to fulfil the role you had granted him, wanting to rush to the bathroom to clean you up and take care of you, regardless of how his legs were trembling. However, he had barely moved an inch when you were scrambling to him, just like you had earlier, desperately holding him close.
“Don’t leave me,” you weeped, crying into his shoulder as you held him tightly, not even letting him pull out. “Please, don’t leave me!”
“I’m not leaving you. I’m here,” he assured, hugging you to him and soothingly running his hand on your skin. Namjoon didn’t know what was happening, he just wanted to quell your tears, make the anguish in your tone disappear. He sat up, holding you to his chest, as you still clung to him, sobbing loudly. He whispered “I love you”s, stroking your hair to calm down your shaking.
You didn’t know how long you cried, but by the end your eyes were puffy and your throat felt like it held razor blades, but he held you throughout, helping you forget your baseless insecurities and covering you with his warmth till your tears ceased.
You sat in silence for a while, and he kissed your head periodically. Namjoon was worried. He didn’t want you to shut him out again. Your tears proved whatever was on your mind was taking a toll on you and he couldn’t imagine what could possibly be so devastating. He wordlessly coaxed you into letting him carry you to the bathroom, where he placed you under a warm shower, cleaning the two of you up.
The scent of your vanilla body wash calmed you enough to mumble weak apologies that were dismissed by your boyfriend as he held you close and dried both your bodies, letting your hair stay damp as he dressed you. When he was done with his own clothes you wrapped your arms around his neck, standing on your toes to place a gentle kiss upon his lips that he reciprocated by lifting you into his arms once again. You hugged him, holding on to him, as he made his way into the kitchen.
Placing you on the breakfast island, he took out a box of strawberries from the fridge. He washed them and placed them on a plate, making his way to you. He didn’t let you lift a finger, feeding you the sweet fruit and rewarding each bite with a kiss to your forehead. You felt a bit coddled, but you couldn’t help basking in his affection. You weren’t sure why you had broken down so terribly, your anxiety for the future seemed a little silly now that the moment had passed.
When he had fed you a few strawberries, he paused, kissing your lips as he finally asked the question that was burning in his mind. He pulled up a stool, sitting in front of you, his hands landing on your hips.
“It’s dumb,” you said, running your hands on his shoulders, the soft material of his shirt feeling like velvet.
“That’s okay,” he replied, turning his head to land a kiss on your hand. “Tell me.”
And so you did. You told him about Harry leaving and your fears surrounding it - about how they had somehow led to a stagnant loneliness that made you feel as if everyone was going to leave you, too. He didn’t interrupt, letting you rant about your demons as his touch assured you.
“You know I’m never going to leave you, right?” He asked, his hands cupping your face as he looked up at you. Your eyes teared up at that, and you let one escape and he brushed it away with his thumb. “I love you. I love you so much, Y/N.”
“I love you, Joonie,” you murmured, your forehead resting against his. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me, silly girl,” he chuckled, pulling you in for a gentle kiss before helping you get off the counter and leading you to your room. The two of you changed your sheets together and then got into bed, holding each other close.
“Sorry for the daddy thing,” you said sheepishly as you were about to sleep. He chuckled in response, pulling you closer to his chest and kissing you tenderly on your hair.
“Stop apologizing,” he chided. “You know how I feel about that. I was surprised, though.”
“Me too,” you giggled, hiding your face in his chest. “It felt right, though.”
“I’d be happy to be your daddy,” he joked, pulling your leg over his hip, and you couldn’t help snorting at his playful tone.
“Joonie,” you whined and he just cackled, holding you close and kissing you.
“But baby, please please don’t shut me out,” he pleaded. “I just wanna share your burden. You know I’d never judge you, right? You’re my safe space and I hope I’m yours, too.”
“You are. The safest space. I just… I’m scared.”
“It’s okay to be scared, you know?” he said, a hand on your jaw making you look up at him. “But I believe in you. Harry or not, you’re going to persevere. Because you’re the strongest person I know, Y/N.”
Although your instinct was to argue against his statement, you fought it, letting his words comfort you. Namjoon was attuned to you, however, knowing you would probably do this again, but he too let it go and just held you close, letting the sound of your breathing lull him to sleep.
True to Harry’s word, the next board meeting he had walked in with a transition plan. It was two weeks after the brunch and was the longest the two of you hadn’t talked since your friendship began. After discussing things with Namjoon, you knew you were being petty and stubborn but you still couldn’t shake off the shock of him just leaving. He was leaving the company, the country but most of all, he was leaving you.
It felt like a breakup of sorts. The two of you have been like a well-oiled machine for so long that everytime you thought about running the company without him, it felt unfathomable.
However when it rains, it pours, because your biggest shock of that month wasn’t that your business partner was leaving you, it was when Namjoon made a throwaway comment one night.
You were sitting on your coach watching some terrible new drama. His arm was around you as he went through Twitter on his phone, completely ignoring the badly written love triangle that had you on the edge of your seat.
“Babe, your stupid app’s pinging again,” he groaned as the notification popped up on his phone.
“I told you! Fix your notifications,” you grumbled, your eyes glued to the television. “I turned mine off ages ago.”
“Yeah but I like to be reminded when you’re gonna start yelling at me cause you’re PMSing,” he joked, pressing a kiss to your cheek as you shrugged him off, annoyed.
“Kim Namjoon, that is so sexist! I don’t yell at you because of PMS!” you answered with a fake smile as you turned to him. “I yell at you cause your clumsy ass keeps hurting yourself.”
“Aww, my hero,” he cooed, before turning to his phone again. “But seriously, can you update your period on this so it stops telling me you’re late everyday?”
“I’m not late,” you scoffed.
“Well according to the app, you are six days late,” he answered, rolling his eyes, oblivious to the way your face fell as you checked your own phone trying to figure out when your last period was. It couldn’t be that late, you were oddly regular. The most fluctuation you had had was maybe two days in your entire post-pubescent life.
You couldn’t help looking at Namjoon, your voice tainted with a shocked awe.
“I’m late.”
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Elementary
falling for Ushijima was straightforward and uncomplicated—despite the complicated circumstances in which it occurred
Ushijima x f!reader
a/n: my first hq piece and it’s centered around mr. perfect himself. fluff and light angst
wc: 4k
It wasn’t until you saw Miyagi prefecture’s top ace, Ushijima Wakatoshi, walk behind your mother’s old friend that the real reason behind this meeting smacked you like a volleyball to the face. You were transferring to Shiratorizawa for your third year of high school after attending Aoba Josai for only a year because—well, because your mom decided and that was that. Like everything else in your life since your father left, your mom controlled every aspect of your life from the clothes you wore, the food you ate, the length of your hair, even the way you smelled—or so she thought.
Transferring to another prefecture in your second year of high school had been the icing on the cake when it came to your mother’s obsession with molding you into her ideal of a teenage girl. After the honeymoon stage of her remarriage was over, she decided that Tokyo was too hectic and the three of you would move back to her childhood home of rural Miyagi. Aoba Josai hadn’t been her first choice but Shiratorizawa wouldn’t accept you a month into the school year. There you met your friend, Hanamaki Takahiro, and got talked into managing the boys’ volleyball team for the simple reason that you were new and didn’t fawn over their setter, Oikawa Toru.
At first, your decision had everything to do with rebelling against your mother and joining a club she wouldn’t approve of; however, you soon found yourself enjoying the sport and befriending the team. Managing Seijoh meant you’d crossed paths with Ushijima prior to the awkward lunch you were currently having but you doubted he ever noticed you. Then again, you doubted a ‘volleyball monster’ like him noticed anything that wasn’t a volleyball or the net.
You were perfectly content with eating good sushi and drowning out the chatty women while ignoring your old rival now soon-to-be classmate but Ushijima-san turned her attention to you.
“Y/N, your mother told me you managed the boys’ volleyball team back at Aoba Josai.”
“Yes, I did.” You replied with a polite smile while remembering your mother’s outrage when she’d caught you after a game. Leave it to your mother to turn your rebellious stunt into a wonderful coincidence between you and your soon-to-be suitor, Ushijima.
“Wakatoshi, you’ve played Aoba Josai before. Do you recognize, Y/N?”
Ushijima took his eyes off his food and regarded you. The longer his olive eyes examined your face, the deeper he furrowed his brow—a clear indication he was trying hard to remember your face to no avail. You found yourself pitying him, a fact you would never admit to Oikawa, and spoke up before Ushijima could open his mouth.
“I wasn’t on the court much during the matches so Ushijima probably doesn’t remember me.”
“Oh, I see.” She then turned to her son. “Since Y/N will be attending Shiratorizawa and she has experience managing, why don’t you recommend her for a manager position with your team, Wakatoshi?”
“What?!”
Three sets of eyes were immediately on you while the pair next to you reached under the table and pinched your thigh in silent warning. You immediately lowered your eyes demurely and corrected your outburst.
“It’s just that I don’t have much experience and Shiratorizawa probably already has managers that are more than capable. I wouldn’t want to be a burden.”
“It’s no burden,” Ushijima deadpanned. “We need a new manager this year and since you have experience, I’ll recommend you to the coach.”
“Ah, you really don’t have to go out of your way for me by asking your coach. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with him!” You gave him an obvious forced smile and ignored the kick from your mother who read you like a book. The last thing you wanted was to manage a team that wasn’t Seijoh, especially if that team was Shiratorizawa.
“I see the coach everyday during practice so I won’t be going out of my way. He also trusts my judgement so I’m sure he’ll approve of you.”
You were sure any other girl would have jumped at the opportunity to manage a team like them but you weren’t just any girl. You were Seijoh’s ex-manager and couldn’t just switch teams like nothing. The looks of betrayal on the team’s face when they’d see you clad in the white and violet track jacket would be too much to take. Your mother, on the other hand, couldn’t care less about the Seijoh boys and dug her heel into your foot to the point that you had no choice but to thank Ushijima for his thoughtfulness.
“…Thank you, Ushijima.”
Shiratorizawa was a pleasant surprise for you. The academics were challenging but the support from your teachers and classmates made up for it. The fact that you stayed in dorms also helped ease the tension between you and your mom’s relationship. You argued less when you visited home on the weekends and even found yourself stalling your return on Sunday evenings. Your move to Shiratorizawa was almost perfect except for the whole volleyball manager situation. In the end, Coach Washijo and Ushijima approached you on the first day of school and you cowered under their intimidating gaze to accept the position.
The differences between Seijoh and Shiratorizawa were big and despite your experience, it was a struggle adapting to your new team. The team was very different from their style of play to the way they interacted with each other. You hated to admit it but they practiced long hours and it definitely showed during their matches. Shiratorizawa truly was a team that belonged in Nationals but whether you belonged there alongside them was still to be determined. Three months in and you were still struggling with the paperwork Coach Saito would demand from you after every practice.
“I need the documentation on their serves not their receives, L/N,” Saito stated shaking his head.
“I’m so sorry, Coach. I’ll bring it to your office first thing tomorrow!” You bowed in apology only straightening when he walked away. Biting your lip, you noticed Tendou and Ushijima’s eyes on you and walked away mortified that they witnessed you getting chewed out once again. You ignored the whispers from the other boys as you helped put away the equipment wanting nothing more than to return to your dorm and collapse on your bed. That was only wishful thinking, however, because the paperwork on the teams’ serves needed to be done, so you scribbled away on your notebook while the boys exited the gym.
“Do you need help?”
Ushijima stood in front of you with his signature blank face as his eyes trailed down to the figures on your notebook. You looked around expecting to see Tendou only to realize the two of you were alone.
“Uh, not really. I just have to get the numbers together but thank you, Ushijima.” You went back to flipping through your notebook hoping he’d get the message but instead he sat down next to you on the bleachers and watched you work. Over the past few months, you’d realized that Ushijima wasn’t good with non-verbals. After a while he cleared his throat and you looked up knowing he was about to speak.
“I wanted to thank you for accepting the position. I know it hasn’t been easy for you but we all appreciate your efforts.” His olive orbs were earnest despite the seriousness of his voice. Praise was rare for the team members and even rarer for you. So far, Reon was the only one who expressed his appreciation of you with quick thanks, high fives, or encouraging smiles. You chuckled to Ushijima’s confusion.
“Sorry, I’m just not used to being praised by you guys—well, except for Reon. Thank you, though, for checking up on me.” Your smile was genuine and his brow relaxed. You looked at the clock and realized the lights would go off soon so you packed your things and decided to head to the library to finish your work and start your homework.
“I’m gonna head to the library to finish this. Will you be going back to the dorms?”
“Yes, to shower and study for the history exam.”
You groaned at the reminder of your exam tomorrow which you meant to study for tonight. “I completely forgot about the exam tomorrow. I should really get going so I’ll see you later!” You bounded for the door but stopped when Ushijima called after you and met you by the door.
“We can study together. I am meeting with the other third years. We can help you finish the paperwork and then study for the exam.”
Being around the other third years, Tendou in particular, made you uncomfortable but you really needed to do well on the exam so you accepted and the two of you walked towards the dorms together. That night you learned more about the boys than you had over the past three months in practice. Semi and you bonded over music and sushi, Tendou cracked jokes about Ushijima that made you burst out laughing, and Reon answered all of the questions you had about the first and second years. You were so absorbed in your conversation with Tendou that you didn’t notice the small smile on Ushijiima’s face with his gaze solely fixed on you.
It was almost curfew when Ushijima and you walked towards your dorm after he insisted on escorting you. After spending time with him and the others, you felt more relaxed by his side and the urge to learn more about him ate away at you. You asked him about volleyball and that got him talking about his dad and his parents—a topic you could easily relate to.
“My dad isn’t around either,” You admitted. “He left when I was ten. I haven’t seen him since but he was never around much before anyway.”
“You seemed close with your mother,” He observed and you chortled in return.
“She’s my only parent so I don’t have much of a choice. That and she takes pleasure in controlling every aspect of my life to mold me into the perfect daughter.”
“My mother is also life that. She was very strict about my upbringing.”
“That’s probably why they’re such good friends,” you muttered and Ushijima did something you’d never seen him do—he chuckled. It was a low rumble in his chest that shouldn’t have sounded that pleasant but it did and you grinned satisfied that you got THE Ushijima to chuckle.
“How did your mom react to you playing volleyball?” You asked sitting on the bench near your dorm while Ushijima sat next to you.
“She was against it at first and only accepted it when I showed promise in it.” While Ushijima’s voice didn’t show much emotion, you found his eyes to be more expressive and fixed your attention on them as he stared ahead lost in thought.
“My mother freaked out when she found out I was managing Seijoh. It was the one thing I fought her tooth and nail on and actually won.”
“Really? She seemed pleased when I suggested you manage our team.” You giggled at his obliviousness to the plan your mothers had hatched since that fateful sushi lunch.
“I’m sure she found some merit in me managing the volleyball team.” With that you stood up and Ushijima mimicked you once again. “Anyway, thanks for tonight.”
The corners of Ushijima’s mouth twitched into an approximation of a smile that you found amusing. “You’re welcome. Have a good night, L/N.”
After getting to know Ushijima, you found yourself relying on him more and more during practice and games. It was only natural, of course, that you would interact with the captain the most and found your closeness to him reasonable. Just as you had grown closer to him, you had also gotten comfortable with the rest of the team and vice versa. Tendou, in particular, noticed you were clinging more to Ushijima than normal during the team’s first away game of the season. He made quips about you throughout the various sets the team played.
“Wakatoshi is over there, Y/N.”
“Do you want me to get Wakatoshi?”
“Need Wakatoshi again, Y/N?”
As the evening went on, you went from ignoring him to chucking a water bottle at him. It seemed that the more you reacted to his comments the more he wanted to tease you. Tendou found the perfect opportunity after the last set when you were reviewing your observations with Ushijima on his spikes and serves. While you found the proximity of your bodies perfectly reasonable, Tendou thought otherwise and voiced his opinion to the rest of the team.
“Wow, you guys look real good together. Like a couple!” The team mostly ignored him, used to Tendou’s outbursts, but the smug look on his face riled you up and you gripped your notebook ready to launch it at his face.
“L/N always looks good. She doesn’t need me for that.”
You could have heard a pin drop from how silent the gym had gone. Everyone’s attention was on the three of you—even the coach’s, to your mortification. You avoided looking at the person who’d caused the commotion and instead glared at Tendou until you saw the rare shock on his face that quickly melted into one of his genuine grin’s.
“Haaa...if you say so, Wakatoshi-kun.” He stalked passed your side but not before addressing you. “You heard him, Y/N.”
With burning cheeks, you turned to face Ushijima, who scanned your face in confusion. The longer he stared the redder your face got until he voiced the concern eating at him.
“Do you have a fever? Your face is flushed.”
You backed away and made up an excuse about the heat in the gym before putting away your notebook. Needing space to clear your head, you told Ushijima you would send him his data from the match later before you grabbed the water bottle bag and scrambled out of the gym to the bus. You tried blaming your scarlet face on the scene Tendou had caused but your traitorous heart raced as Ushijima’s words rang in your head like a mantra.
“L/N always looks good”
“L/N always looks good”
“L/N. always. looks. good”
While you knew that it would be inevitable, the match between Seijoh had you more nervous than usual. The boys knew you were Shiratorizawa’s manager and most of them had taken it pretty well. Hanamaki and Matsukawa still went to the movies with you and Iwaizumi occasionally texted you about volleyball but the one who it the hardest was, of course, Oikawa. He blocked your number when you tried reaching out and Hanamaki told you to give him time so you stopped trying. Seeing him again ate at you during the bus ride to your old school and judging from the worried looks the team sent you, they were well aware of your inner turmoil.
It began with Goshiki, your favorite underclassman, reassuring you everything would be okay and walking next to you when Reon and Semi joined him until the entire team surrounded you. Ushijima walked behind you and his confident aura comforted you as you stepped into the gym and your old team regarded you with guarded expressions.
The match ended after three sets but Shiratorizawa won yet again despite Aoba Josai playing better than you’d ever seen them play. Knowing better than to avoid the team, you went to refill your team’s bottles near where Seijoh would exit hoping you would get a chance to greet them. Sure enough, they filed out the double doors and greeted you with waves and nods before Hanamaki, Matsukawa, and Iwaizumi walked out and approached you. They smiled and joked with you despite losing and your heart felt lighter knowing you could still joke around with the boys like this. They left to find the coach for the post-match meeting and you were about to look for your boys when Oikawa rushed out of the gym before stopping in his tracks when he saw you. His usual cocky smile was nowhere to be found and instead he wore a scowl on his face which you knew meant he was upset.
“Well look who we have here. If it isn’t our traitor ex-manager.” You weren’t used to him addressing you coldly and your throat closed.
“O-Oikawa, I kno—”
“Having fun running around with that bastard Ushiwaka?” He stalked towards you and backed you up into the wall.
“I didn’t have a choice, Oikawa. I swear I wasn’t going to do it but things got complicated.”
“I don’t wanna hear your excuses, Y/N. Was this your plan all along? Manage us for a year until Shiratorizawa let you in and then run to them and disclose all our plays, strengths, and weaknesses?” Oikawa closed in on you, his ugly smirk contrasting with his pretty features. “You’re pathetic—”
“Oikawa, don’t take out your anger on our manager. It’s not her fault you lost.”
There was an edge to Ushijima’s normal emotionless tone as he stood next to you. Seeing his strong confident body made you realize you were trembling like a leaf. Oikawa ignored you and placed his full attention on his greatest enemy.
“We’ll beat you next time. Even with a traitor like her by your side we’ll win!” With that, Oikawa threw one last sneer in your direction before stalking away. With all of the fight sucked out of you by Oikawa, you kept your face lowered as you reached for the heavy bag but Ushijima beat you to it and slung the bag over his shoulder.
“Let’s go, Y/N.”
You didn’t know if it was the confrontation with Oikawa or the fact that Ushijima stood by your side but hearing him call you by your first name triggered an emotional switch within you and sobs escaped the confines of your mouth. Before Ushijima could turn around, you gripped his jacket and buried your face in it to muffle your cries; the last thing you wanted was to cause another scene. Ushijima stayed still until your cries ceased and that was when you discovered that he also radiated comforting warmth. You stuck by his side the rest of the day ignoring the surprised looks from the team.
On the rare weekends that you didn’t have volleyball or schoolwork to do, you still spent them with Ushijima—and your respective families. Your mothers had stopped being discrete about their intentions regarding the two of you but Ushijima seemed blissfully unaware. You had already accepted your feelings for Ushijima but the smug look on your mother’s face every time Ushijima would pull your chair during dinner or would wait for you to walk together fueled your determination not to show them, at least not in her presence. Years of quietly rebelling against your mother’s control made it hard to accept the fact that she was right about Ushijima.
When you weren’t with your families, you clung to Ushijima more. He was your pillar not only on the team but in school as well. You sought him out regularly until the two of you did everything together, occasionally joined by Tendou, Semi, or Reon. Having a crush on Ushijima was easy for you because no matter how much you clung to him or showed your affection with cold water, soft towels, and snacks; he would never think too much of it. He was completely devoted to volleyball and had no mind to ponder over your tentative glances, tinted cheeks, and lingering touches—or so you thought.
It was the end of the year and volleyball season had ended on a bittersweet note for the third years. While everyone else, including you, scrambled to figure out what to do after graduation, Ushijima knew his place was on the volleyball court and was deciding on what professional team’s offer to accept.
The two of you were sitting on his bed with applications and paperwork spread around the two of you. While Ushijima flipped over contracts from various teams, you looked over the acceptance letters and scholarship offers from universities. You had been on the fence between two schools—one in Tokyo and the other in Osaka—but after reviewing the scholarship money and the program, you decided on Tokyo.
“I’m going with Tokyo,” you declared picking up that school’s acceptance letter. Ushijima glanced at the letter and leaned in to read it. “It’s a good school. I’m sure you’ll do well.”
“What about you? Have you decided on a team?” He turned his attention back to the various papers before fishing out a particular contract. “I just did.”
He showed you the contract for the Schweiden Adlers, a Tokyo based team, and your heart stopped. You searched his face for a hint of hesitation but, true to his character, Ushijima’s face betrayed nothing.
“What do you mean you just did?” You needed to know what he meant because your heart wouldn’t stop racing unless he disproved what you were hoping.
“Since you chose a school in Tokyo, I’d have to choose a team in Tokyo to stay by your side.” He was as earnest as ever but you needed more.
“That’s not a valid reason, Wakatoshi. You need to prioritize your future and pick a team that will let you accomplish your goals.” You choked on your words knowing that his response would most likely break your heart.
“I am thinking about my future,” he replied and your eyes were met by a burning expression you’d only seen during volleyball matches. “My goals are to play professional volleyball and marry you in the future.”
You didn’t breathe, didn’t move a muscle. Your body was frozen on the spot but your heart thumped erratically in your chest. After his words registered, your nose began to sting and tears of joy streamed down your face. A panicked look flashed on Ushijima’s face and you punched his arm.
“How can you say that when we aren’t even dating officially?!”
“I thought we were. We’ve gone on multiple dates, Y/N.” He seemed genuinely surprised by your question and it only riled you up even more.
“You. Never. Confessed! How am I supposed to know?!” You hit him again and again letting out your pent-up frustration. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear your confession or rejection?! I’ve liked you for a while, you know!”
With a gentleness he only showed around you, Ushijima reached over and wiped the tears from your cheeks. “I like you too, Y/N. I’ve felt this way for quite some time but I figured you knew.”
You clasped his hands and brought them down to your lap. His confession warmed your heart in the way that only he could and you calmed down.
“Since when? How long have you felt this way?” Giving his hands a gentle squeeze, you asked the question you needed to know.
“The first lunch we had with our mothers. I wanted to get to know you better but didn’t know how. When my mother mentioned you managing Aoba Josai, I knew it was my chance. That was why I insisted on you managing the team. It was the only way I could get to know you better.”
You chuckled realizing that he had been uncommonly insistent that day in regard to you managing. Ushijima gave you one of his rare smiles and you acted on your impulses by leaning forward and pressing your lips on his, in a gentle caressing kiss.
Your mother had controlled everything in your life. You would fight her on certain things but, most of the time, she won. You became so accustomed to opposing her decisions that you immediately rejected Ushijima without giving him a proper chance. It wasn’t until you got to know the ‘Super Volleyball Idiot’ that you concluded your mother had been right about one thing—Ushijima Wakatoshi was the only man for you.
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