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i-am-totally-a-human-being · 3 years

Note

Since you asked could I get Nagito fluff about their Gender neutral s/o who is scared because of the game ?

Coming right up! Seriously guys, all these requests have helped me distract myself. I’m kinda spreading them out so I don’t spam my account, I’m trying to do one every hour and a half or so.

I’m definitely not ok lol, but all your guys requests of my comfort boys and your wishes for me to get better are amazing. I’m so glad I have this blog as my outlet, and that I have amazing people wishing me well.

Oneshot is under the cut

You better not die

Nagito x reader comfort

Genre: fluff and comfort

Writing style: oneshot

Summary: exactly what Anon requested

Warnings: reader cries and has a breakdown I dunno if that’s triggering tho?? Maybe to some people so I’ll put it down just in case. Ummmm Nagito sorta degrades himself cause he’s Nagito. I think that’s all

This couldn’t be happening. A killing game?! Who could you even trust?! Before Monokuma had announced himself as well as the killing game, you had gotten to know the people there with you on the island, but now.... you really didn’t know who to trust.

You sat alone in your cabin, door and windows locked. You’d rather stay in there for all eternity than risk getting killed. You screamed, you couldn’t help it, when you heard a knock on your door. Someone was trying to kill you!

Well... if they were... you doubted they would knock. They probably would just break the door down...

Unless they were trying to lure you into a false sense of security!

“W-Who is it?” You whimpered barely loud enough for them to hear.

“It’s Nagito.” Ah, Nagito. The one person you still sorta trusted. He was.... weird, yes. But he also made it clear when Monokuma announced the game that he’d gladly die for hope...

But he never said he’d kill.

You slowly got up and opened the door just a crack, peeking through and seeing him alone. You sighed in relief and opened it all the way, gesturing for him to come in.

“Sorry for screaming. You just scared me is all.”

“It’s alright,” he smiled, “am I ok to close the door? If you’re not comfortable with that we can leave it open.” You nodded, walking over and shutting the door and locking it.

“I trust you, Nagito. Just... not anyone else.”

“Not even Sonia? I don’t think she could hurt a fly....”

“Not even Sonia,” you shook your head, “she’s sweet. It’s always the sweet ones that you don’t expect.” You tried to joke, but Nagito’s expression never faltered. He looked at you with concern and pity, making a knot form in your throat.

If he kept giving you that look.... you might just tell him how you feel.

Not just about the killing game scaring you. You definitely had a crush on him. Maybe that’s another reason why you trusted him.... simp.

“As much as I value humor in helping people keep their hopes up,” he sat down on your bed, gesturing for you to follow, “I don’t think it’s the best way for you to cope right now. We’re all scared, Y/N.... but I’m particularly worried about you.”

“M-Me?” You sat down next to him, trying to avoid contact, both with your eyes and physically. If you looked into his eyes you’d probably break down into tears, and if you brushed up against him you’d be too flustered to talk.

“Yes... I know it’s selfish of me to take it upon myself to help you.... but I notice how you seem to gravitate towards me and trust me. And who am I to not do anything I can to please an Ultimate? So can trash such as myself even do anything to help you?”

“You can stop degrading yourself, for starters.” You frowned. You really didn’t like his comments on himself, but this was a great way to shift the topic away from yourself.

“My apologies, Y/N. What can I do to help?” Dangit. He brought it back to you. You were hoping you’d have to convince him he’s not trash, waste time and hope he forgot about comforting you. But he was determined, and he knew what you were trying to do.

“I-I dunno,” your voice cracked, “I-I’m really ok, don’t worry-“

“Can I hug you?”

“H-Huh?!” His surprise request caught you completely off guard, making you look up at him. And that was his intention. You finally made eye contact with him, your mind and soul shattering into pieces.

As tears threatened to fall and as you started choking on your words due to the ever growing lump in your throat, Nagito swiftly grabbed your shoulders and wrapped his arms around you.

He had no need for self depreciation right now. He felt that he had no right to even breathe in your direction, let along hug you, but he overrides those thought by telling himself that this is to please you, not him.

That was the last straw for you. A loud cry erupted from your throat as tears started to flow, hugging him back and desperately clutching the back of his jacket. He gently rocked you back and forth, rubbing your back and whispering into your ear.

“It’s going to be alright, Y/N. I know you’re scared. We all are.... but I’m going to make sure nothing bad happens to you. I’ll keep you safe, ok?” You simply nodded as a response, still crying as hard. How could he protect you if he had clearly said he was ok to die for hope? Which statement was a lie at this point?

“B-But,” you eventually whimpered, “h-how can you do that if you’re dead?!”

“I’m... I’m not going to die. I’m going to stay alive. For you, my hope.” You shuddered at the nickname, butterflies admittedly forming in your stomach. You simply nodded once again, pulling him closer and burying your face in his neck as the last few sobs escaped your body.

Your tears eventually subsided, leaving you exhausted. You hadn’t cried that hard in so long, you forgot how tiring it was. Your body felt weak, threatening to go limp at any moment.

“N-Nagito,” you lifted your head slightly so he could hear, “I-I might... I might....”

“It’s alright,” he pet your hair (if you don’t have hair or if it’s not very long, imagine him just rubbing your arm), gently massaging your scalp, “sleep, Angel. I’ll still be here in the morning, if you’re ok with me staying.”

“Y-Yes please,” you nodded, curling up against him, “And please... call me that more often...” you mumbled without really thinking, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Of course, Angel. Now rest. I’ll protect you tonight.” He picked you up and settled onto the bed better, pulling the covers over you as he cradled you to sleep.

———

You opened your eyes and looked around, an unfamiliar warmth surrounding you. This didn’t feel like a blanket.

You rolled over only to find yourself face to face with an asleep Nagito. You bit your lip to stop yourself from screaming and waking him up. He looked so... peaceful like that. But... why was he here?

Oh.... right. You had a bit of a mental breakdown last night. And he helped you through it, like the kind soul he was. You wanted to repay him for the love he had shown you.

You were trying to think of what you could do, when he stirred and groaned, stretching and opening his eyes. He gave you a sleepy smile when he saw you were awake.

“Good morning, Angel. Did you sleep ok?” Your heart fluttered once again at his nickname. You had forgotten that you asked him to call you that more.

“I-I slept fine, thank you,” your eyes darted around the room, looking at anything but him and his... beautiful face, “um... you didn’t have to stay here all night. I’m sorry you had to sleep in the bed with me...”

“It’s perfectly alright, dear. This may be selfish of me, but I did rather enjoy sleeping here. It... it felt nice to hold someone.” You noticed a small blush form on his cheeks, making you wonder if he felt the same about you as you did him.

“It... felt nice to be held,” you smiled, “I can’t thank you enough, Nagito. Seriously.” He chuckled, leaning forward and resting his forehead against yours.

“Thank you’s are not necessary. Getting to exist in your presence so intimately like this is thanks enough,” he hesitantly reached up, his slim and slightly chilled fingers cupping your cheek, “I understand how afraid you are, love. But... As I said last night: I am going to protect you. I’ll stick by your side and I’ll do everything I humanly can and more to get us out of here together.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, leaning into his touch, “together. You better stick to that.”

“I wouldn’t ever think of failing a promise to an ultimate such as yourself,” he rubbed your cheek with his thumb, “especially you. Specifically you.”

“Why me?”

“Because you’re special to me, S/O,” he looked away, suddenly shy, “it’s one of the reasons I came to comfort you last night. Because I... care... about you.”

That was enough of a confession for you. He liked you back. You nodded, leaning in and connecting your lips for only a moment. He stared at you in shock, making you smile.

“Now you seriously better not die, ok?”

This gave me the happy. Gosh I simp for Nagito so hard ♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Thank you for coming to my TED talk,

—🐝

#danganronpa #danganronpa x reader #x reader #goodbye despair #nagito x reader #nagito komeada #danganronpa nagito #nagito komaeda x reader #goodbye despair Nagito #nagito comfort #nagito oneshots #danganronpa oneshot #oneshot #oneshots

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star-mum · 4 years

Text

LIVE REACTION TO NIGHTMARE TIME EP 1

Idk if anyone would even be interested in reading this but as I was watching the show last night I kept writing down my reactions on my notes so here we are

*this is all in caps idk why just roll with it*

THE OPENING SONG IS SUCH A BOP OMG NICK LANG HIMSELF ?????? MONSTER FUCKER RIGHTS ???? HIDGENS ENTRANCE HOW ICONIC "LUCY IS HAVING NONE OF IT" I LOVE THAT OMG JOEY PLAYING KONK (?) IS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT THE BEGGINING IS JUST TARZAN FANFIC SKSKSKSKS MARIAH IS TEXTING JOHN (?) AND HES LAUGHING SM WE LOVE A COMEDY QUEEN I LOVE THEM USING THE ZOOM BACKGROUNDS SKSKSKS KONK IS AWFULLY CLOSE TO COCK AND I THINK ITS ON PURPOSE ?? SPECIALLY WITH THE LAG I HAD TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE SOMETIMES SKSKSKS SOMEONE JUST SAID "TED'S ORIGIN STORY" ON CHAT AND I LOST IT !!!!! COULD YOU IMAGINE ???? HANDSOME LADY ? I MEAN SURE TIGHT JOHN IS LOSING IT FUCK MAN, SAME CURT OMG THAT ACCENT OOOOOOOOHHHH BOY I KNEW IT WAS HER FIANCEE SHIIIIT WE CANNOT TRUST HIM I KNOW THIS !!! "ENTAGLED" SKSKS WHAT SIR HES GAY CHILL OUT WHATS THE YEAR, IT FEELS SO OLD TIMEY "I'D SAY YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR THIS APEMAN" OOOOOOOHHHH DONT U SAY JONATHAN IS A PUSSY BITCH I CAN TELL LUCY JUST DROP IT OH SHE ACTUALLY DID ????? FUCK IT UP BABE

(I JUST ACIDENTALY DELETE HALF OF WHAT I WROTE SHIT, ILL HAVE TO REWRITE IT FROM MEMORY) WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE TRICKING US??? THEY CALLED IT, WHAAAAAAAAT WDYM "PLAY THE PROFESSOR" IS HE NOT A PROFESSOR WHAT ALTERNATE REALITY IS THIS I NEED TO KNOW

ARE THEY GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM WHAT??? SINGING LONDON BRIDGE WHILE CHASING SOMEONE IS MY FAV SCARY TROP HAHAHHA YEEEEESSS "TOOK OFF WDYM" GIRL HE IS HOLDING A GUN WHAT DO YOU THINK "WDYM" WHY DID HE KEEP THE KONK ACT AFTER LUCY LEFT SKSKSKSKS TED WTF SKSKSKS "I DO SOME OF MY BEST THINKING WHEN IM ERECT" HAHAHAHA TED LIKES TO BE A HIMBO THATS GREAT IS HE GOING TO KILL TED ?? AAAAAAAHHHHHH TED HE HAS A GUN PLZ DONT TEST HIM HE HAS ALREADY KILLED A MAN OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUCK RECAST???? WHO IS TAKING TED'S ROLE ????? OH SO ITS NOT OLD TIMEY AFTER ALL RED SOMETHING???? OH TED'S GONNA PROPOSE IS SHE GONNA SAY NO? SHES GONNA SAY NO RIGHT ? FUUUUUUUUCK HAHAHHAHA WHY IS HE NAKED ??? JAHAHHAHA WHAT WHAT IS HAPPENING TED WHAT ? "PROFESSOR SHOULD GO FUCK HIMSELF" HAHAHAHA PORNHUB PREMIUM ACCOUNT HAHAHAH "OOOoooOOoOoOoOoOohhHhhHh BUT IT IS" FUCK NO DONT KILL HER OOOOOOOOOHHHH TED'S DEAD SHIT OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH ROBERT'S ACTING IS *CHEF'S KISS* DAMN OH SHIT TED *NOW* TED IS DEAD FUCK HIDGENS IS HERE NOOOOOOOOOOO IS HE GONNA KILL HER ??? OH SHIT OH FUCK LUCY'S CAUGHT IN A BEAR TRAP WHY ARE PPL SAYING WORKING BOYS IN THE CHAT ??? OH THATS WHY !!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH MINE IS A LITTLE BEHIND IS SHE BROKE ??????? OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT HIDGENS GOT PLAYED THATS ON YOU BUDDY OH FUCK HIM UP LUCY ! BECKY BARNES ????? HATCHFIELD LORE ???? WAS SHE RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS HUSBAND IS THAT WHY SHE CLIMBED A TREE APE MAN SHOW UP PLZ WHO IS IT THO ?????? JEFF HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK JESUS CHRIST APE MAN YEEEEAAAHHH WOOLY FOOT ?????? IS IT CHUMBY???? OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH HAHAHA YEEEEAAHHH HOW DID HIDGENS KNOW ????? OH IS IT OVER ?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANTED MORE ;-----; THIS WAS SO GOOD THO OOOHHH FUCK ANOTHER MUSIC NUMBER JAMIE YOU LOOK AMAZING !!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR THESE SONGS TO BE AVAILABLR FOR US (IN LIKE 3 YEARS CAUSE IM BROKE SKSKSKSK) HE DANCES THE CAN CAN ?????? OKAY I SKIPPED A BIT TO BE ON TIME WITH EVERYBODY "ARE YOU FUCKKING HIGH????" YEEEEEEEEEAH PART 2 BABEY !!!!! NICK'S HAIR LOOKS AMAZING OMG OH ???????? BILL AND ALICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I MISSED THEM !!!!!!!!! OH THE TEEN ANGST I LOVE BILL SM HE'S SUCH A GOOD DAD DEB ????WHY WOULD U HURT BABY ALICE LIKE THIS ???? "I MIGHT NEVER SEE DEB AGAIN" GOD ALICE CHILL OUT LET HER BE A PLAY WRITER BILL CMON "MY BUDDY PAUL" AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH BLINKY ??? I DONT TRUST THAT AT ALL FUCK NO JOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHNNNN I DONT TRUST HES CHARACTER THO OOOOHHH LOVE DISCOUNTS I DIDNT LIKE THE WORKER CALLING HER PRINCESS THO, SHES BILL'S DAUGHTER NOT YOURS OOOOOOHHHHHH NO OH NONONONOONO BILL IS GOING TO DIE I JUST KNOW IT BLINKY IS EVIL I CAN FEEL IT ALICE NO NO LITTERING WHORE JAMES !!!!!!!!!! ALICE IS ALSO GOING TO DIE MAYBE RIGHT NOW WHO KNOWS BLNKY WTF SHE IS A MINOR WTF AAAAAH I DONT LIKE IT HERE JAMES ILY BUT THIS CHARACTER IS CREEPY AS SHIT I DONT LIKE IT HAHAHAH TIGHT LOVE THEME PARK STUPID SHIRTS "I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE FUNNY" HAHAHAHAH DROWSY TOWN ? THE CHAT PULLED MY ATTENTION TO THAT BUT I DONT GET WHY ? IS THIS BAD "I'D FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE" THIS IS SUCH A DAD THING TO SAY OH ALICE CMON DONT SAY THAT BILL CUT IT OUT WITH DECIDING YOUR KIDS FUTURE THATS NOT FUN OH GOD I DONT TRUST THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO "AHOY BOYS AND GIRLS" NO NONONONONO UNCLE WILEY FUCK OFF THE SNIGGLES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH "WE'RE THE SNIGGLES DONT BE SCARED" YOU KNOW WHAT SNIGGLES I AM SCARED BUT HELL YEAH SONG TIME OOOOOOOHHH FUCK IT UP JAMES OH ARE THEY GONNA LIKE GIVE THE AUDIENCE A SLEEP INDUCING DRUG OR SOMETHING ??????? "DONT BLINK" AHAHAHA I DONT TRUST THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH "GREAT WE'RE DEAD" HAHAHAH THE SONG WAS A BOP THO "WHAT ARE THE SNIGGLES?" GREAT QUESTION ALICE "NOW U KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN I HAD TO SEAT THROUGH DEH" HAHHAHAHA "SEE U IN A SNIG" HAHAHA SNIGGLETTE ???U OKAY BBY??? OOOOOOOOHHH MORE SONGS HELL YEAH I LOVE ANGELA'S VOICE SM THE SNIGGLE PUNS ARE KINDA CONFUSING ME NGL WHY WAS THAT SO SAD OMG OOOOOOOH SHIT OH FUCK THEYRE GONNA KILL HER I JUST KNOW IT OMG "PRAISE THE WATCHER" OH MY GOD PLZ DONT KILL HER "UNTIL HE'S SEEN EVERYTHING" W H A T LAUREN'S VOICE SKSKSK SO CUTE PAPA SNIGGLE I DO NOT TRUST YOU THOSE ARE ALIVE ARENT THEY ????? OH FUCK SNIGGLETTE IS SHE OKAY ????????? "ANGELA R U ALRIGYT" WHAT "SHUT UP JEFF" OH MY GOD I DONT LIKE WHEN THEYRE SELF AWARE SKSKSKSK " U CAN SHUT THE HELL UP LAUREN" HAHAHAHA BILL OMG HE'S SUCH A DAD HAHAHAHAH ALICE IS SO NICE DO THEY NOT KNOW "ARON AROOON" HAHHAHA OH CHURROS I LOVE THOSE THE GIRL SHE DOESNT LIKE ?????? OH NON BINARY RIGHTS LOVE IT "IS THIS A FRIEND OF ZIGS" OH LOVE RESPECTFUL DAD DEB NOT COOL OH ALICE SHIT ALICE BBY IF SHES CHEATING ON YOU THATS NOT ON UR DAD STOP SHITTING ON HIM LIKE THIS "ITS UR MOTHERS FAULT" OH MY GOD HAHAHHAHA GREG AND ALISON ? AND BETH ?? DOES BETH LIKE HER ????OH NOOOOOO GREG NO U SHITTY SON OF A BITCH GOD FUCKING PUNCH HIM OH NO HAHAHA FUCK NO THEYRE ALL POSESSED ARENT THEY THATS THE TEEN FROM THE MOVIE THEATER HAHAHHA "it lagged ;-; now we wait" A MAN IN A HURRY HAHAHAHHA OH SHIT BILL IS MAD IS HE POSESSED TOO ??????? OH SHIT WHATS HAPPENING BLINKY ????????? OH NO OH NO SHES GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK THEYRE GONNA BE FINE RIGTH ??????? RIGHT ???? BREATHING EXERCISES BABY CMON OH NO PLZ DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID BILL NOOOOOOOOOOO BILL PLZ DONT DIE AGAIN I LOVE YOU SM PUT UR SEATBELT BACK ON PLZ NOOOOOOOOO OH THEYRE BOTH GOING TO FALL ARENT THEY OH NO OH MY GOD OH SHIT PHONE IS BROKEN OOPS AWN IM GONNA CRY PLZ LET THEM SURVIVE I BEG YOU NICK LANG OOOOOOOOH TWILIGHT BUT GAY I AM *HERE* FOR IT OOOOOH THANK GOD THEYRE SAFE THANK YOU NICK LANG BILL YOURE SUCH A GOOD DAD OH GOD SHIT ALICE CHILL OUT ITS JUST A PHONE BABE "SHE KNOWS IM WATCHING HER" I DONT TRUST THAT IS *SHE* POSESSED OR IS THIS JUST TEEN ANGST ALICE UR DAD IS TRYING HIS BEST PLZ CUT HIM SOME SLACK OH MARIAH TURNED HER CAMERA OFF OH DEAR GOD WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HAHAH I LOVE LIVE BLOOPS OH MY GOD BLINKY IS TERRIFYING FUCK NO DO NOT GET THAT WIGGLY JUNIOR BILL DONT HOW ??????? OH MARIAH IS BACK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ??????? WHY CANT BILL GET THE MALLET THING DONT TAKE IT YES SMART LAUREN ? SKSKKSS WHAT MADAM IRIS I DO NOT TRUST YOU WHAT ?????? IS THAT ALICE'S PHONE ???? BILL DONT GET SCAMMED OH ITS AN ALL SEEING IPHONE ALICE CHILL PLZ IS HE GONNA DIE ????? PLZ NICK DONT DO THAT ALICE DONT DONT KILL UR DAD 49.95 AGAIN BILL PLZ TRY ANOTHER GAME JAMES DAMN THATS RUTHLESS BILL WHAT AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IS THAT REAL ???????? IT CANT BE ??????? OH ITS NOT REAL ARE THEY MAKING THEM HATE THEIR FAMILIES AND KILL EACH OTHER ?? A TENDER KISS ON THE CHEEK FROM A DEMON HOW NICE GUYS PLZ JUST GO TO THERAPY I BEG U WHAT ARE U GONNA DO BILL? KICK HER HEAD ??????? (SORRY I HAD TO) BLINKY'S FUNHOUSE THAT SOUNDS WARM AND COMFORTING THIS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF NOT UR SEED FIGHTING IN THE MIRROR PART OF A FUN HOUSE IS ALWAYS A GOOD HORROR MOVIE TROPE OH FUCK ARE THEY GONNA WAKE UP OH FUCK PLZ WAKE UP ESCAPE THIS ALIVE YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH OH SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM ISNT SHE ????? SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM I JUST KNOW IT HES AWAKE SHES NOT IS BLINKY GONNA KILL THEM ?? OOOOOOOOHHHHHH FUCK I KNEW IT OH HELL YEAH ALICE FUCK IT UP ARE THEY GONNA DROW ?? OH NO OKAY DID THEY SURVIVE ???? IS SHARED TRAUMA GONNA SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SKSKSKKS THEY SURVIVED !!!!!!!!! THANK YOU NICK LANG (AGAIN) WAIT HOW DID SHE GET HER PHONE BACK ? OH MADAM IRIS DID GIVE HER PHONE BACK AWWNNNNNNNN ALICE THIS ONE HAD A HAPPY ENDING YAY WELL IG THE OTHER DID TOO BUT NOT FOR THE CHARACTERS WE KNEW

THIS WAS SO GOOD I LOVER STAKID !!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WISHED I WASNT BROKE SO I COULD PAY FOR THE NEXT ONES KSKSKSKSK WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO DO YOUR REACTIONS FOR THE NEXT ONES !!!

I HEARD GREG AND IT WAS CRAIG SKSKKSSK OOPS

*from this part on is reactions from after the show when starkid was answering questions from the chat*

YEEAAH VOTE FOR BIDEN HELL YEAH STARKID

"THE WITCH IN THE WEB" WEBBY ???????? DO WE GET TO SEE HANNAH AGAIN ?????

A THEORY ON TUMBLR FROM REDDIT ON A INSTAGRAM ACC ON YT OH MY GOD SKSKSKSKKS

THE STORIES ARE CANON !!!!!!!!! THEORIES LETS GO GANG

STARKID FANS WHO CAN DONATE TO STARKID PLZ DO I WISH I COULD DONATE TO THESE TALENTED PPL G O D

I WAS CORRECT IT WAS KONK WITH A K

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE YES!!!!!! WORKING BOYS !!!!

"NICK LANG IS A BOSS"

MARIAH: SAYS FUCK AS ALICE ALSO MARIAH: GEEKED THE *FREAKED* OUT

TIP JAR HAS BEEN OUT FOR 11 YEARS HELL YEAH

HOW TF DO YOU SPELL ZIGGS BTW

OOOHHH THEYRE FAKE THAT MAKES SENSE OK NOT FAKE COMFIRMED BUT PROBABLY FAKE LETS HOPE DEB DIDNT ACTUALLY CHEAT

"WELL I WAS BORN IN 1989" HAHAHAHA

BECKY CLIMBED WHILE RUNNING FROM HER HUSBAND I FEEL LIKE THATS WHAT THATS ABOUT

OH GOODIE I GET TO WATCH THEM LATER IDK WHEN BUT AT LEAST IK SOMEDAY

BLINKY VS WIGGLY

OH CMON NICK I WANTED TO KNOW ;-;

THIS WAS SO NICE I MISSED THEM ;-;

#starkid #team starkid #nightmare time #zoom #starkid show #blinky #hatchfield #starkid fandom #live reaction #starkid live reaction

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legisaskerator · 5 years

Text

vent vent vent

buckle up bastards this is gonna be long as FUCK

holy fucking shit my life yhas been so goddamn hard recently and i’m not handling it well

first and foremost on my mind at this second is the fact that i am in so much fucking pain right now i do not know what to do. my EDS is acting up really really badly and i’m super bedridden right now. i took my last vicodin and i have no idea when i can get more, or how, and i have like nothing to help. i had to leave class today to weep in the fuckin bathroom because i can barely walk and even sitting up is a struggle. if i felt this sort of pain three years ago i would have likely considered doing something VERY rash to stop it and i’m amazed i’m still, almost functioning. i can barely think i’m in agony i want it to end

i’m so scared this is just the next turn that eds is taking. i know i wont ever get better but fuck, i dont want to need a mobility aid yet. i’m only fucking 22 i have to be a teacher!!! how can i fucking teach if i cant write on a board?? or maneuver around classrooms? how will i ever get a job? or even just. live in the house of my dreams. i wish there was some help for me because i am tired of ehlers danlos running my life. i am scared for my future. i cant imagine who i will become if this level of pain becomes my “normal”. someone move me to mass so i can get legal weed to try to numb myself

on the same path of injury, my mother recently injured herself very badly and was hospitalized for a little w hile. ended up needing surgery to put rods and screws and plates in her leg/ankle, and as a result, she’s not functioning for the next 12 weeks. i’m doing my best to help out aroudn the house and i’m filling in for her at work. she does advertising for a newspaper and brings the papers to subscribing businesses,, which i’m taking over now. at least i like driving?

i love my mom and i will do anythign to help her, but god it’s such a load on my shoulders. i’m upset and frustrated because i’m strugtgling to balance my life around this sudden responsibility. it’s definitely not her i’m upset about, it’s not like she did this purposefully??? she needs the help and i am willing to give it. but i am also allowed to feel these emotions. i am upset at the /situation/. her boyf and my sister are barely helping and they’re neglectful and distant. i’m the only emotionally present one in the family and also (aside from mom) am the only nurturing, caring one in the household. i keep her from having panic attacks, i keep her anxiety down, i’m warm and i try so goddamn hard to make sure shes ok. but it’s exhausting. i’m keeping my family together it feels like, everythings crashing down and i’m the only “sane” one. which is sad because ive been a depressed wreck for weeks and have been working on scraping myself off the fucking pavement, trying to get out of the spiral. i’m scared that my mom relies so much on me. she tells me everything, things i don’t want to hear. relationship troubles primarily. i know i give great advice and am ~wise beyond my years~ (thanks trauma) but, that’s what her therapist is for. i’ve told her i wish she would, tell me less, because as her daughter it’s uncomfortable, and she always overreacts like “oh i’ll never tel you anything again if it’s so terrible then” and i end up feeling fucking awful, and it’s a nightmare. but if things keep going the way they are in their relationship (i’m not gonna spill deets because, privacy still) we might lose our house!!! and everything we’ve finally worked for!!

so i feel like, if i can’t fix this problem, it’ll be my fault our lives come crashing down.

i know that’s ridiculous. it’s not my job.

but it still feels like it

i never feel like i’m doing enough. just in life in general. i’m not good enough i’m not working hard enough i just am not enough. i was very saturated with child prodigy shit when i was younger and that fucked up my psyche so much. it’s still thrown at me by my father, americas got talent and movies where the protag is a ~genius~. i hate it. ill never be that and i know that’s what my dad wants of me. i’m not the next bill gates i just want to be a teacher and live my life!!!! i don’t want to start a band and get famous!!!! i dont want to run a business!! i don’t want to revolutionize the world!! just let me please! follow my heart!!!!!! i can’t fucking stand it when he tries to tell me what to do with my life it makes me want to scream and wail and sjafkl; fd fjasfg;akldf

i can’t do this, man.

i’m so alone. i’m sick of the slut life. i’ve been hoeing around for a year and it’s taking a massive toll on my self esteem and sanity. i’s a terrible coping mechanism and i’m very very not healthy about it. i only have sex when i’m heavily under the influence of something and use it as a way of getting attention, which is, awful. i often forgo protection because it’s ~inconvenient~ and the second a guy protests, i’ll cave because i ~live to please~ and don’t want to start shit. i can’t keep doing this. hooking up is the only time people ever touch me. i just want a fuckign hug sometimes

i keep seeing so many posts like “you can’t love another if you don’t love yoursel!” and “people aren’t your medicine” but what if??? they can be to an extent?? part of being uber depressed is self-isolation and i’m so, sick of it. i need some fucking comfort because right now i am suffering through my life alone and it’s so difficult. it’s not as easy as just, settling though. i’m picky with my lovers because?? i deserve someone good? everyone that’s been coming through my life like, has a fatal flaw that i just can’t do. like long term compatability is risked for me with that shit.like, too introverted, too emotionally distant, people who just aren’t smart, i can’t do it?? i just want someone who’s going to comfort me when i need it, who i can have a healthy debate with, and someone who respects my life choices and things i do.

i’ve been talking to one guy recently who, i was hoping maybe could have been a potential. he’s super nice and considerate/respectful, hes HELLA smart, adores a bunch of the same stuff i’m into, we talk really well together, i feel comfortabgle around him, gotta say he’s hot as fuck too...and he just wants friends with benefits. I respect that. i was in a similar spot literally last semester, there was a pretty great guy but i just wasn’t in the right space for a relationship. so friends with benefits. i don’t blame this new guy for not wanting a relationship he has every right!! but oh god it hurts a little. i worry that it’s me, that i’m just a good pussy for him, or a convenient lay who’s down to clown like 99% of the time. he’s been talking to me less recently and i’m worried that he’s...done with me. idk if that’s true or if i’m just reading into it but i’m in a VERY vulnerable place right now in my life, and i really need someone by my side for it. i need the support and warmth.

i wish my warmth would comfort me. i wish i could turn my nurturing attitude around and help myself. i wish i didn’t need smoene else for comfort. i’m a fuckin libra tho i live for romance

this guys’ great though. i hope he sticks around at least for a little bit longer. i want to learn more bout lovecraft.

my sluttiness is my biggest qualm with myself right now. it’s definitely a huge problem in my life, it’s actively causing me problems. my one friend (because, i have only one fucking friend i can actually talk to. that’s it i hAVE ONE i’m so goddamn l,onely) has been like, coaching me through making better decisions? i’m very impulsive and he’s got great advice and is quick to be like “then don’t” and shit. i’m trying really hard to make sure i dont use him as a therapist though, that’s unfair to him. i’m respectful and all that shit don’t worry bout htat. he’s a huge help to me and has been my absolute rock through college, idk where i’d be without him. he also introduced me to his friend group, who are all really amazing people? they welcomed me with open arms and no ones ever done that before. i’m always super outcasted cause i’m weird and i wont hide it because it’s ME goddamnit! but these people, they’re weird too, they’re freaks and outcasts and, while they’ve all been very close friends since they were wee tots, they still welcomed me in. they still wanted me to be part of them. i’m getting to know all of them still, but i’ve got hope that, maybe i’ve got some lifelong friends now. at the very least, i’m sure i’ve got one.

onto phase 4 of my fuckin monologue i guess, topic SHIFT

my thesis is a mess and it’s due in three weeks, i’ve barely gotten anything done because my teacher is awful and i’m worried i’m gonna fail the course

which would be SUPER bad because, i’ve had this teacher too many times and we do not get along, she loathes my existence, and i really just need to get out. shes partly the reason i need an extra fucking year at school and i always DREAD going to her class. it’s humiliating and discouraging to spend three hours every monday there. no one else likes this professor, they’re only here becuase the school loooooves the researchers and writers. complaints dont matter. all of my other classes are fine but this one has been probably the worst, most emotionally devastating class i’ve ever taken

i don’t even get to write about a topic i want. i was forced to write about the play i was in, instead of Monty Python like i wanted (it’s a fucking comedy class!!!!!) the play is about SCHOOL SHOOTINGS (we won some national awards teehee it’s an outstanding play). yes it’s a “black comedy” but not really? it’s a drama with comedic moments? and i KNOW THIS cause i’ve been studying comedy with this professor for like three cumulative years at this point. i’m struggling beacuse there’s zero research, zero information, and has to be over 20 pages long??? like fuck? i’m so fucked

anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk. i’ve been wanting to make a vent post for like weeks but i haven’t had the time or energy and , i really needed to just....get this out. i feel a little better having all the words down. there’s still so much else going wrong in my life that i could talk about, all the car troubles, my other classes, dorm shit, but, it doesn’t matter in the light of these issues. i can get through this. i just gotta keep fighting.

oh and if anyones like, worried, i’m not suicidal, i’m not going to do that, there’s no chance of that hpapening. i’m in a very bad place but i’m never gonig back there if i can fucking help it

#personal #vent #tw whatever idk sensitive materail or something #i just gotta breathe

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datingadviceonreddit · 4 years

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Soo I'm 19, he's 20 and we've been dating over a year now. we are both each others 1st bf/gf.Its all that cue shit where we were each others' 1st kiss and 1st time and shit. Ever since then we've kinda been a lill crazy sex-wise. Like we have a lot of sex. A LOT of sex. Like up to 5 times a day and usually at least twice a day. It's all vaginal tho and just different positions(he really likes carrying me and doggy). Sex already kinda hurts as it is(I don't know how big he is but I usually have some bad stomach aches after) and I have never found anal the least bit appealing.I'm a bit of a clean freak so everything about anal sounds disgusting and dirty. He already has to push me to have sex while I'm on my period because I'm a heavy flow and it's just a mess. I've always kind brushed him off with the whole anal thing and made jokes saying that I'd only do it if he let me peg him fist lol sho he knows how its gonna feel for me and he always responds "it feels better for girls than guys" or "girls have the part for it guys don't" and usually change his drops it.Last night we were talking on the phone(he went back home after schools closed so I don't see him till August) and he was talking about how we need to travel all over the US and go everywhere but Connecticut because he hates Connecticut and I made the joke that Connecticut was the only place id let him do anal and he started pushing for it so I said my usual only if I get to show you how it feels first(uncomfortable especially for people w/ no experience) and he started to buy into it!! I freaked a bit and said he'd have to let me do it for at least 20 min and he said no but when we got back he was gonna refuse sex unless it was anal and not do anything w/ me unless we do anal.Now at this point, I'm shaking and not doing too well and trying to hold myself together. Usually, I'm not this big of a crybaby but I am very emotionally attached to him bc I don't come from a great family and I have a history of choosing toxic people and end up hurt when they spread rumors or try to force me to do shit I don't wanna do(its a lot...). So I think it was the fact that I rely on him so much and that he could hurt me more than I have ever been hurt before because I do love him. (I'm also blaming my period tbh)Another thing is there was this incident a while back where I woke up to him... inserting himself in me after I had turned him down for sex bc I was too tired. In his defense I've told him before that I didn't mind him waking me up to have sex (simply bc I fall asleep really fucking fast when we lay in bed) and I usually sleep in my underwear because it's more comfortable. I ended up crying in a ball and falling asleep not letting him touch me and informing him that I wasn't a doll that he could have sex w/. It's a long story id have 2 go into detail about.I think it was that and I started thinking he might not take no for an answer and I started freaking out and crying while on the phone with him(in my defense I've had a lot of shitty experiences w/ guys trying 2 do shit 2 me) but luckily I was able 2 hide that and he just thought I was a little upset. He said he was hooking and said something like "god ___ Ill stop bringing it up for a while" and me failing to get myself under control responded w/: "no you won't you say that but you won't so don't say that"I think he could tell I was a little more than just a little upset so he said "fine so how long do I go and whats the punishment if I bring it up before then"I tried to pull my shit back together and responded something like "1 year 365 days and if you bring it up before then, then you never bring it up again"And we started going back and forth about the terms and shit and I was slowly shutting down and not responding and he realized this was not going well so he promised he was just never gonna ask again ever. The convo didn't carry on too well after that as you can imagine and we got off the phone saying I love you and shit.I proceeded to cry myself to sleep because I knew he was gonna break that promise too and I didn't know how I was gonna get out of this one and I proceeded to have a nightmare where I told him no and over time it built up pin him and he ended up cheating on me and then breaking up with me because I couldn't satisfy him in bed. That melted into some alternative universe or some shit where I let him do anal and it was horrible and I was crying and wanted to stop and he held me down and did it anyway and you can imagine I woke up this morning and wasn't having too good of a day.I don't know what I should do. He is really loving to me and we have the same friends group and we really do care about each other but I got some problems(as you can tell) that make me a little more scared and flighty while he is very much into the whole "ima marry you and we are gonna live on a farm and have an army of kids"(direct quote). I just think I need to talk to him and its gonna end badly and HALP IM A HOPELESS IDIOT WITH MENTAL PROBLEMS I JUST WANNA BURY THIS DEEP INSIDE AND NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN.I am so sorry for that essay and thank you for reading how emotionally disturbed I am thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

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