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cavernfullofexistentialdread · 27 days

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My thoughts on FIVE

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LONG POST AHEAD

I found it promising, I’ll tell you that much. I do have to acknowledge my bias towards to this piece of art. It’s WONDERFUL that a musical like SIX has sparked so much creativity and is even getting a parody!! WE’VE MADE IT INTO THE HALL OF FAME QUEENDOM!!

ALSO FUCKING JAIME??? STARKID FANS RISE UP!!

I’m was giving this thing the benefit of the doubt. I was sort of confused when I first learned about it, and I had this gut feeling that I’d hate it. I honestly thought it was kind of weird that we’re using this to make a parody of… TRUMP of all people??? Like these women are still ALIVE to my knowledge.

My only wish is that they acknowledge and give their opinion on this musical in some way because say it with me now; THEIR STILL ALIVE AND HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN OPINION ON HOW THEIR VIEWED!

However I have not seen it yet and I am excited to see what my favorite musical has inspired! …Is what I’d be saying if I hadn’t read some reviews. It seems the general consensus is that while it is funny it’s not as innovative in its humor as it could be. And it may not have done what it wanted

As this TheaterMania review states

“A musical send-up of the women in Trump’s orbit, Five: The Parody Musical, would seem to be just what the doctor ordered as we face the prospect of yet another Trump administration. So why wasn’t I laughing?“

I thought this article was being a little harsh on this musical, until I read THIS.

“The few genuinely funny moments in Five spring entirely from Jen Wineman’s adequate production — her choreography is both simplistic and sloppily executed, which is funny in its own way — and the ingenuity of the actors.”

I was surprised by this, the advertising leaned heavily into the humor of it all. The fact that it was a parody—“LOOK OUT SIX!” And “MAKE AMERICA LAUGH AGAIN!” made me excited to see how they’d creatively dunk on Trump. Like how SIX had done with Henry VIII

Then I remembered what else this article had said in regards to the humor

“The jokes generally hit three points: Donald Trump is orange, he has a small penis, and he likes getting peed on. This is territory that our overpopulated heard of late-night hosts have already stomped to death — without asking audiences to fork over the price of an off-Broadway ticket.””

And I was getting suspicious, so I looked at some more reviews. This article spends a lot of time dogging on FIVE and I was still trying to hold out hope.

This review from StageandCinema is a lot more kind! I was excited to find out what went RIGHT! About this musical!

“Five is much more sexual and crude in its descriptions of being fucked by Donald Trump. Hearing about his small prick and his sexual escapades (especially from pornstar Stormy), I struggled to immediately delete such images from my mind’s eye. The thought of Donald in any sexual act turned my stomach, which may have kept me from laughing. Perhaps nausea and comedy cancel each other out?”

OH… UHM…

Of course in the end they do have the same acknowledgment at the end of SIX, “Just because we were fucked by Donald Trump doesn’t mean we need to fuck each other over.” (A direct quote from the end of the paragraph containing the previous quote)

Through this article I also found out that this is actually a jukebox parody! (Which is when you parody existing songs in order to use it in the plot of a musical story telling medium). Which honestly was a welcome surprise. They’re not ashamed that is a BLATANT parody.

Okay! Let’s see what else we can find!

“It did seem like a clever idea, for at least five seconds”

WOW okay…

This article then goes on to discuss some political and legal matters that has come up surrounding the Sex worker that Trump is going against in court. He IS the first president with a criminal record (he went to court for sexual abuse, and also was impeached)

The article puts it perfectly

“Given such news of late, it’s increasingly difficult for me to appreciate, or even tolerate, a trivial show like “Five.” The creative team hasn’t read the room.”

This isn’t a fuck you to Trump supporters, this isn’t seriously discussing Trump’s effect on these women in ANY sort of fashion, this isn’t even ABOUT discussing Trump’s political status. It’s about parodying SIX and making fun of these women. The main selling point is “WHAT IF SIX BUT TRUMP!?”

“But even those who still view political humor as political armor will be disappointed, because “Five” seems little interested in Trump’s treatment of women, much less his threat to American democracy; instead, its main target is “Six.” As political commentary, “Five” is near witless, tasteless, and toothless. But even just as a parody of “Six,” it’s too on the nose. If some theatergoers will find “Five” entertaining, I suspect it’ll largely be because its talented six-member cast makes the most of the moments in the show that add up to a stealth, second-rate “Forbidden Broadway.”

This review is BRUTAL it points out the flaws it see’s in FIVE with wit full words. This article was my turning point. It made me genuinely start to be dissatisfied with a show I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN YET.

““Five” is not an exercise in female empowerment; the women in Trump’s lives are most often mocked. Nor is it a takedown of a would-be tyrant; zingers against Trump rarely get more sophisticated than commenting on the size of his penis or calling him the orange bitch or orange troll.”

This is an insult to the very FABRIC of my opinions. THIS WAS A PARODY OF SIX. OF SIX. INCLUDE STUFF FROM SIX. JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE MORAL DOES NOT MEAN YOU TAUGHT IT. TRUMP IS NOT A GOOD PERSON.

THIS IS A PARODY OF SIX. BE CREATIVE WITH YOUR INSULTS! IF YOU’RE MAKING A PARODY ABOUT TRUMP THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE SUFFARAGE OF WOMEN AND WHAT WE DO WITH TRAGEDY; FUCKING SHOW IT!

This is so obviously anti-Trump. But it does’t FEEL that way. It feels against these women as well. Which is strange, considering it’s supposed to be like SIX.

Don’t get me wrong I fucking HATE TRUMP CAN’T WAIT FOR HIS ACTIONS TO CATCH UP TO HIM. But HOLY SHIT this is NOT where I thought this musical was going!

I plan on looking more into this musical, but these are my thoughts for now. I was initially a hater, turned skeptic, turned confused and insulted.

Look—I don’t WANT to be so hateful about something I haven’t seen. But if THIS is what reviews are saying (and there’s barely any of them) then WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH IT???

I WANT THESE ACTRESSES TO HAVE AMAZING CAREERS! But if THIS is the show their put on, a show that is INSULTING women… then what???

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abitofboth · 4 months

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the apotheosis is upon us 🎶

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hatchetfield · 7 days

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favorite hatchetfield scenes 2 / ??

#starkid #hatchetfield #the guy who didn’t like musicals #emma perkins #paul matthews #bill woodward #charlotte sweetly #lauren lopez #jon matteson #corey dorris #jaime lyn beatty

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nierthesheepdestroyer · 9 months

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I think the Princess is probably okay on that front. But certain other Starkids keep falling for Dicks In Sheep’s Clothing.

#starkid #hatchetfield #jeff blim #starkid productions #starkid cult #tgwdlm #team starkid #joey richter #joe walker #twisted starkid #trail to oregon #starkid memes #jaime lyn beatty

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teranobriss · 3 months

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I dream that, somewhere in the universe, there's a timeline where Hannah and the rest of the Roller-rama kids got to stay together. No Otho, no men chasing Hannah and Lex away from Hatchetfield, just one big found family.

A timeline where Hannah can feel safe, and where Ethan and Lex have a chance to stay together in Hatchetfield instead of having to be split up.

I just want every single one of them to be happy.

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blondephenobarbitol · 3 months

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It's funny to me that out of Bill, Ted, Charlotte, and Paul, despite being the only one not sought after by a dark lord, Charlotte is clearly the most stressed CCRP employee. She's being sought after by something worse: infidelity

#charlotte sweetly is life idc what you say #jaime lyn beatty #bill woodwarted spankoffski #charlotte sweetly #paul matthews #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #nightmare time #starkid #hatchetfield

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doomsdayoption · 6 months

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Do you think that Paul's "Emma, I'm sorry" at the beginning of Inevitable was just Pokey mocking Emma through the voice of a person she loved? Or was it the last of Paul's individualism genuinely apologising to her because he couldn't save her?

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hipsternumbertwo · 2 months

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Nightmare Time 2 (Vol 1-4) Soundtrack on Spotify [The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals] [Black Friday] [Nightmare Time] [Workin Boys] [Nerdy Prudes Must Die]

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thatenglishmuff · 3 months

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A SIX PARODY MUSICAL IS COMING OFFBWAY IM LOSIJG NY MARBLES

about trump and his 5 wives (did trump have 5 wives?I didn't know that part of his lore that's insane) (at least 1 has to be a mistress of some kind, right??) anyways I'm so proud of six and its success, leading to a whole parody musical that got to offbway?!?!? mental!!!

also!!!!!!

JAIME LYN BEATTY???????? GABRIELLA JOY RODRIGUEZ????? ANAYE ANASIA?????? can't say I know Gabi or hannah, but what a STACKED cast!!!!

losing my absolute mind!!!!!!!

#muffin mumbles #six the musical #starkid #the things I would do #the crimes I would commit #to be able to go see this production #jaime lyn beatty

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honeyspawn · 4 months

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Give us more Joey!Ethan. Give us Mariah!Ethan. Give us Jae!Ethan. Give us Will!Ethan. Give us Bryce!Ethan. Give us Curt!Ethan.

Give us more Jeff!Hidgens. Give us more Nick!Hidgens. Give us Jon!Hidgens. Give us Angela!Hidgens. Give us Corey!Hidgens. Give us Jaime!Hidgens.

Do you see the vision?

#starkid #team starkid #tgwdlm #black friday #nightmare time #ethan green #professor hidgens #joey richter #mariah rose faith casillas #jae hughes #will branner #bryce charles #curt mega #jeff blim #nick lang #jon matteson #angela giarratana #corey dorris #jaime lyn beatty

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misagenda · 5 months

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Listen Up Starkids

if you continue taking advantage of Team Starkid’s tireless generosity and loyalty

they will no longer work as hard to provide accessible theatre and FREE content to fans

but more importantly, it’s fucking disrespectful

just look at the many faces of disappointment ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

feel shame & do better

#starkid #team starkid #vhscc #vhsccs #vhs christmas carols #meredith stepien #clark baxtresser #jaime lyn beatty #curt mega #lauren lopez #joey richter #brian holden #ali gordon #janaya mahealani jones #jamie burns #aj holmes #james tolbert #angela kiessel #satan is a real man and he’s disappointed in you

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secondstar-acorn · 6 months

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I ADORE Nerdy Prudes Must Die but ngl it felt so weird to see a Starkid musical without Jaime

#don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t have npmd any other way #I just miss her #she’s been in every other Starkid musical to date #:(#anyway not to be parasocial #star rambles #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #Starkid #jaime lyn beatty

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muppetable · 3 months

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the fact that join us and die shows off jeff and jaime's skills with both their natural ranges and their falsettos makes it the best song for them both tbh

#starkid #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #jeff blim #jaime lyn beatty

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hatchetfield · 5 months

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