#Sometimes you read a thing and you just know you could never do that or think of that

[marksbear2]

Can i request Lovesick Ghost (from cod) x dilf Reader who's just trying to live his life But everywhere he goes there's always a big Ahh shadow staring at Him

And randomly received a gifts or confess letter

So let's just say Reader is Ghost's Neighbor who like have one conversation which is just saying good morning to each other one time and Ghost is like "I'm going to marry that man..."

Lovesick Ghost x Dilf reader

⚠️Warnings- dark headcanons, Lovesick Simon, stalking, older man reader, random gifts, delu Ghost, creepy, toxic Ghost, and Etc DONT READ IF BOTHERED. ⚠️

— It all started off with a gift, it was something common between neighbors. Just random gift giving like a bag of cookies or extra flour.

— But when you walked up to his door step and asked to borrow a few batteries, Ghost while life changed.

— He never imagined being with an older man, but the more he saw you through his window watching and staring at each one of your movements, he fell hard. He would watch and stare at you through the windows and shadows of the neighborhood he became obsessed with the idea of dating you.

— He started to learn about you from the other neighbors. He learned your name, your job, age and so much more and everything you did was the ideal for him.

— He’d stay up all night staring at the celling twisting and turning around his bed about you. The crush he had on you was massive, you stayed on his mind through night and day.

— He would find your Facebook or any other social media, he would find your ex’s your best friends and your family. 

— Him learning about you didn’t help his delusions and instead it in powered them and he was in more love with even the smallest details he learned about you. 

— Though the two of you haven’t talked much since the day you two met, Ghost would always bump into you or get in your way in just in the right time. So he could hear you, feel you brush against him. He comes home all giddy and happy.

— His heart aches and stings whenever you bring anyone to your home. He would go through hundreds of emotions like you just cheated on him, when in fact you barely knew his name.

— He started to follow sometimes far and close with you on the walk to the grocery store or on your way to work.

— He loves the routine you have, he knows what you do when you wake up or when your going to bed. He’s so involved with your day to day life and you have no clue.

— Moving on from watching you from his window he slowly began to peak inside your own window looking through whatever he could find and see then slowly he’s able to sneak inside the house and such to learn your interest more.

— Leaving anonymous letters, gifts and random things to show you his love and devotion.

— Then whenever your out on a date or talking with someone he doesn’t like, he would send letters having a whole mental breakdown about how your destroying the relationship by cheating on him.

— He’s so unhinged and his love for you is feral, he sometimes feel like he can’t breathe without at least seeing you once a day.

— He would sneakily take pictures of you and record your conversations. He would edit the conversations so it’s like yo talking to him directly and stare at your pictures all day long.

— Staying up stalking your social media pages to change himself so he fits your type and learns about your dislikes and likes.

— So when you two finally became friends he would bring up things you liked and just innocently be like “I really have been interested in…” So when your eyes light up at the mention of your favorite whatever you two could talk longer. It’s like he laid out bread crumbs and your the bird, just eating up whatever he says.

— As the two of you get closer and closer Ghost delusions crazier and crazier. 

— Wherever you give him a friendly touch on the shoulder or arm he swears that you love him. 

— It became a morning regular the two of you talking on your porch. His eyes are basically heart eyes as he stares at you which such soft eyes but behind them that you are the object of his obsession and love.

— As you two grow closer he began to drop hints of his crush on you even referring you as his he doesn’t even like hearing anyone’s name come out of your mouth as those soft loving eyes become crazed and angry.

— The two of you have this light joke about being married, but for Ghost it was no joke. 

— He treated you more like his partner day by day and he would invade your space and privacy like an controlling boyfriend.

“I want to marry you one day.” Ghost said randomly as he started down at you with love controlling eyes.

“What?” You respond not understanding his words.

“I. Want. To. Marry. You.” Ghost said as he walked closer to you with each step he presses you inside your house.

With one look over his shoulder to make sure no one is watching he closes the door to your house after himself.

THE END

#x male reader #male reader #male reader insert #x male y/n #x top male reader #amab reader #X Dilf reader #ghost x male reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x male reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #cod x male reader #cod x reader #ghost mw2 x male reader #mw2 x reader #mw2 x male reader #x reader #x gn reader #the bear club

[loudstan]

(67) Days of Whatever the Fuck that Was (PART 1.)

Summary: Chenle wasn't interested in committed relationships until he met the one. The problem is that now she is the one who doesn't want to commit to him.

Pairing: Werewolf! Chenle x Siren! Female reader

Warnings: OOff where do I start. Things get dubious, and even a bit non-conish sometimes so do not read if that's not something you're into. A lot of mind games, manipulation, gaslighting, and all the red flags you can think of. Y/N is MEAN. Also, this is super long so i had to make two separate posts. Read both if you want to know how it ends! SMUT.

Chenle didn’t understand why everyone said they had such a hard time trying to get their mates to accept them. All his pack brothers told horrendous stories about how hard it was to approach, confess, and get together with their destined person (except for Haechan, who found the whole ‘bugging her every day until she says yes´ approach normal). So far, all their mates had not been wolves like them, so it made sense that they didn’t immediately believe them, nor did they want to compromise to be with them for life. 

But Chenle? Chenle had his mate in his arms right now, not even five minutes after first laying eyes on her, kissing him and giggling playfully at his dumbfounded but eager state. 

He can barely remember how he got there. He remembers going to this bar that Jisung was ridiculously excited to check out. It was literally inside a ship that was (supposedly) safely anchored and that was accessible through a wooden bridge connected to the port. Rumor had it they served the most exquisite liquors from all around the world and they never stayed in the same town for more than a couple of months. Chenle found the concept of a wandering floating bar clever, especially because paying for a spot to park a ship wasn’t as expensive as renting a place on land and getting it ready for the business. He had some concerns regarding the legal permits to sell alcohol in different cities and countries, though.

 He was thinking about all the technical details that opening a business like this required while trying to decide what to order when he locked eyes with the bartender– the most beautiful creature he had ever seen– and he forgot how to speak, so he just looked at you dumbly as your lips moved delicately, asking him who knows what. 

You thought maybe he was new to drinking, so you leaned forward over the bar and pointed at some options on the menu, avoiding the ones that contained hard liquor. 

“Are you a beer-only type of person? This one is a little bitter but a lot of our regulars like it,” you tried to speak over the loud music. When he didn’t reply you tried again. “If you prefer something sweet there are a few cocktails that I could recommend but they are kinda strong–,” You looked up and saw that you had been talking to a wall the entire time; he wasn’t even looking at the menu. Instead, his eyes moved hesitantly from your lips to your neck and finally, your breasts, which were barely covered by your low-cut top, and had him salivating. 

He finally looked up when you scoffed. 

“That’s not really on the menu,” you teased him. You weren’t mad. You often got hit on during your shift, and you quite enjoyed the attention when it came from attractive young men. And this one was incredibly attractive. 

He cleared his throat. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to stare–”

“Do they look good?” you asked, tilting your head and crossing your arms under your chest, making your tits look even prettier. 

He swallowed a groan and forced his eyes to look back into yours after taking a quick look. So you were a tease, huh? He could deal with that. “Yes,” he said, suddenly sounding very confident. “But they would look prettier with my mouth on them.”

You were taken aback by the change of demeanor, but you couldn’t deny it sounded tempting. You had had your fair share of one-night stands, most of them fun, some of them not so much, but you had never wanted to kiss someone you had just met this badly. 

“Sangie,” you turned and called for your coworker who was cleaning some glasses. “Can I take a short toilet break?”

Yeosang smirked knowingly and nodded. There weren’t many customers right now, so he could handle them just fine. Plus, it was the first time he saw you taking the initiative to go with someone, which had to mean you really liked that lucky guy. 

“Thanks! Love ya!” you said, leaving your workstation and grabbing the stranger’s hand, who let you guide him without even thinking about his friend waiting for him at the table. 

And now he was pressed against the wall of a restroom as you assaulted his lips until he felt light-headed. The way the ocean waves rocked the ship didn’t help. He felt drunk already and he hadn’t tried a single drop of alcohol. 

“What’s your name?” he asked in between kisses.

“Y/N,” you replied, pecking his lips. “And you are…?”

“Chenle,” he said, chasing your mouth. “Zhong,” he added. He thought you had to know his family name as well since it would be yours one day. 

You giggled against his lips and his heart skipped a beat. 

And then he almost had a heart attack when you placed his hand on your breast. 

“I thought you were gonna make them look prettier, Chenle Zhong” you taunted. 

He let out a sound that was between a laugh and a scoff. He would fix your attitude later, right now he was feeling too good to be mad about it.

He squeezed your breasts while he trailed your neck with wet kisses.

You sighed and closed your eyes in delight, waiting for him to fulfill his promise, but he was taking his sweet time with your neck. 

“Hey,” you tried to get his attention to no avail. “I can’t be here all night, you know?” you informed him, laughing. 

Either he didn’t hear you or he decided to completely ignore you because he seemed fixated on nibbling the soft skin on the crook of your neck.  

You normally wouldn’t mind some of that for foreplay, but you had to get back to work at some point. Not only that, but the constant licking and sucking on the same spot was starting to get painful.

“Chenle,” you hissed, tapping at his shoulder insistently, but instead of stopping he opened his mouth wider and you felt sharp teeth scratching the surface his tongue had abused before. “Chenle, stop!” you demanded, grabbing a handful of his hair and finally pulling his head back. “What are you doing?!” you asked him, holding him in place and using your other hand to soothe the sensitive patch of skin. 

He groaned and stared at you defiantly. “Let me go.”

“ You’ve  been sucking on my neck for five minutes.”

“I found the right spot,” he argued, trying to dive in again, and grunting when you pulled his hair harder. 

“Right spot for what?” you asked, baffled. 

“To bite you,” he replied, rolling his eyes like you had asked the dumbest question ever.

“...Nice, but that won’t get me off,” you explained. “So can we move on?”

His reddened eyes (had they always been red?) squinted at you. “My mate has a sassy mouth, huh? Let me make it official and then I’ll get you off all you want,” he offered, aiming for your neck and letting out a frustrated sigh when you stopped him again.

“I’m no one’s mate. What the fuck are you on about?” you asked in disbelief.

“You asked for my ID before I could order a drink, right? What species did it say I was?” he tried to explain as kindly as he could, but he sounded like an exhausted elementary school teacher. He was losing his patience and it was getting really hard to be coherent. 

“A werewolf, but–,” you stopped mid-sentence and your eyes widened in realization. “Oh…”

“Yes, ‘Oh’,” he echoed. “So why do you think I need to bite your neck?”

“…You imprinted on me?” you whispered, gulping.

“Smart girl,” he cooed, pecking your lips and making you blush at the unexpected praise.

Once again he started kissing your neck, teeth grazing against the skin threateningly. When you tried to pull his hair again he growled, opting for pinning both your hands on the wall.

“This is what’s going to happen,” he whispered next to your ear. “After I mark you, we’re going somewhere more…hygienic and comfortable, where we can mate properly. Once my rut is over, if you can walk, we’re going on a date to discuss the details of our future together. Marriage is a must, but pretty much everything else is negotiable. Do you like diamonds?” he recited like he had been preparing this script for a long time.

“Absolutely no—”

“No diamonds?” He asked skeptically, thinking you were rejecting his gemstone choice instead of his whole plan. The way you squirmed didn’t seem to give him a clue of your thoughts either, because all he did was pin both your hands together on top of your head with one of his hands while the other grabbed your jaw firmly to keep you in place. “I guess there are other options, but diamonds are the most durable…” he mumbled.

“I have no intention of—”

“What type of house would you like? If you don’t like any of the properties on sale we can get one designed and built to suit your taste. Anything for you. You’ll get anything you want as long as you’re mine,” he continued like he couldn’t hear you. He wasn’t one to lose his mind easily, but you smelled of sea salt, coconut, and vanilla and he couldn’t think of anything else besides having you by his side and spoiling you.

Your heart sprinted. This stranger was about to make you his for the rest of your life. He was certainly handsome, but you had no intention of settling down. There was a reason you worked in a wandering bar! You couldn’t stay in just one place and belong to one person. 

You tried to reason with him, but your pleas fell on deaf ears. All he did was whisper reassuring words as he prepared to sink his fangs on you.

“C-can you at least look at me first?” you begged.

You don’t know if it was your desperate tone or the way your body was trembling but he miraculously decided to grant you something, lifting his head to look into your eyes.

And his eyes were so full of adoration.

It almost made you feel guilty for what you were about to do.

…Almost.

You had promised your captain not to lure anyone into doing something you wanted again, but this was an emergency. 

“Chenle Zhong,” you called his name sweetly, the sweetest he’s heard from you so far. “You don’t want to mark me,” you assured him.

His brows furrowed.

“I… I want–,” he tried to look at your neck again.

“Look at me,” you commanded, still using your luring voice. “You don’t want to be with me.”

He shook his head, opening his mouth dumbly without being able to formulate a word.  He seemed confused, like he couldn’t remember what he wanted to say but refused to let you go still. You were impressed. No one had been able to resist your hypnosis and you were sure he would give in soon, but he was putting up a fight. How sweet.

“Let me go,” you instructed softly.

He didn’t reply, but he reluctantly let go of your arms.

“I will get back to work and you will go home,” you informed him.

He nodded slowly, lost in your eyes. 

“What will you do?” you asked.

“I will go home,” he replied monotonously.

“Good boy,” you replied, caressing his cheek. He was so pretty… totally your type but you two didn’t want the same thing, so it was better to end things right now. Ideally, you would have been able to reason with him without bewitching him… but you doubted he would agree with you when his rut was clearly about to hit. “I’m leaving first,” you finally said before unlocking the restroom door and stepping out.

As soon as you walked out you bumped into the guy Chenle had arrived with. His panicked expression made him look like a mom who lost her child at a supermarket and you wondered if he was the reason Chenle’s phone kept vibrating in his pocket while you two made out. 

His widened eyes looked at your neck and his mouth fell open comically. 

“I think your friend had too many drinks,” you said casually, walking past him and pointing at the restroom. “You should take him home.”

The man looked at you suspiciously before rushing into the restroom.

“Had fun?” Yeosang asked casually once you got back to work.

“Not really,” you sighed.

“He wasn’t that good, huh?” he offered you a sympathetic smile after handing a customer a freshly prepared cocktail. 

“No–I mean…I don’t know,” you shrugged. “We just weren’t compatible.”

“Hm…it was certainly quick,” he replied as he saw the man he was talking about being dragged out of the restroom by another guy. “There he goes. Not a heavy drinker I guess–oh,” he stopped mid-sentence to let out a soft gasp and locked eyes with you. “You did not,” he said in disbelief. 

“I did not what?” you asked, feigning innocence and keeping yourself occupied cleaning the already clean bar top.

“Did you do the thing?” he whispered, looking around like he was afraid someone would hear. 

“No,” you lied.

“I don’t remember preparing a single drink for him. And he walked into that restroom with you just fine. Why does he look so lost and dazed?”

You sighed. Of course, Yeosang would be able to tell. He had been raised by merpeople before he was recruited by Hongjoong. Many would believe Yeosang was a siren himself because of his bewitching aura and appearance, but he was human alright. A human who grew up mirroring and understanding siren behavior. It was thanks to him that the captain accepted you as part of the crew when he caught you stealing from him some years ago. Hongjoong would have never been reckless enough to take a half-siren in, but Yeosang seemed so excited to meet you and spend time with someone who wasn’t a complete brute. He gave the crew the most devastating puppy eyes as he asked if they could ‘keep’ you … How could Hongjoong say no to him? 

You had tried to escape a couple of times but Yeosang’s sad face when you got caught always made you feel terrible. You ended up growing fond of him and it didn’t bother you when he asked you if you wanted to help him make a seashell necklace or if you would let him brush your hair. Soon you started feeling comfortable around the others too as you understood that you weren’t a prisoner and that no one had any ill intention toward you. They saw you as part of the team. All you had to do was work at the bar, help keep the ship clean, and follow the captain’s rules.

 Speaking of rules…

“Y/N! Captain said not to!” Yeosang reprimanded you, looking from you to the exit as Chenle and his friend left. 

“It was an emergency!” you hissed.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked, scanning you with alarmed eyes but besides the purple marks on your neck, you seemed fine. 

“No,” you rolled your eyes. “I just shouldn’t have tried anything with a werewolf in the first place.”

“...Oh, well…uh-,” he blinked twice, trying to understand the problem. “I didn’t take you for a human supremacist…”

“Wha– I’m not a human supremacist, Yeosang!” you exclaimed, frustrated. “I’m not even fully human myself!”

“Then what was the problem?”

“He imprinted on me,” you disclosed before heading towards a new customer to take their order.

Yeosang’s widened eyes followed your movements. He was still silent even after you prepared the requested drink.

“What?” you asked when you noticed a tiny smile forming on his lips.

“Do you feel the same for him?” he asked you, failing to hide his excitement with the way his eyes glimmered. “Is that why you wanted to be alone with him?”

“What? No! I just wanted to have some fun tonight,” you replied. “Humans don’t have mates.”

“But sirens do,” he said.

Your neck almost snapped as you turned to look at him. “They do?!” you asked in shock. You grew up on land and didn’t know as much as Yeosang about sirens so this was new information for you.

He nodded.  “And you are half siren,” he reminded you.

“I’m mostly human, though,” you shrugged, pretending to inspect the bottles on the shelf. “But just out of curiosity, what does imprinting feel like for sirens?”

Yeosang hummed. “Well, besides the expected attraction and hornyness, you may feel kinda weak if you’re not with your partner. Some sirens get sick.”

You nodded. It should be fine, since you felt perfectly fine, besides the obvious sexual frustration. If you were lucky enough, the effect of the hypnosis would last enough for Chenle to leave you alone until the boat sailed to its next destination.

Meanwhile, Jisung finally managed to get Chenle home. Chenle was cooperating, but his body was acting kind of clumsy and he was running a fever that kept getting worse. 

Thanks to his friend’s zombie-like curt answers, Jisung figured out that Chenle had imprinted on the woman who worked at the bar and that she ‘smelt really good’, but he ‘did not want to mark her at all’ which was very odd for any werewolf who just had his rut triggered due to a fated meeting with their real mate. When Jisung tried to get some clarification, Chenle would simply reply that he needed to get home.

 What scared Jisung the most was that Chenle’s eyes looked empty, like he was dead inside. They had turned red like they usually did when they experienced strong emotions, but they didn’t express anything. 

So as soon as the front door opened and the two youngest were met with the familiar faces of their pack, Jisung asked for help.

“I think we need an exorcist,” he blurted out, fighting tears of terror and holding onto his probably demon-possessed friend’s arm.

“Finally,” Haechan murmured as he sprinted to his room to get his exorcism kit. “My time has come!” he yelled from a distance.

“What would you need an exorcist for?” Jeno asked skeptically. 

“Chenle is not Chenle,” Jisung answered, pointing at Chenle who was standing like a statue next to him. 

“He looks like Chenle to me,” Jeno said. 

“No, no,” Jisung insisted. “There is something wrong with him!”

“Hey, man,” Mark greeted, walking up to Chenle. “You good?”

“Yes,” Chenle said in a monotonous voice.

“Uh…” Mark halted at the unfamiliar tone and exchanged a look with Jisung before continuing. “How was your night?”

“Good,” Chenle murmured, his eyes were on Mark but he wasn’t really looking at him. 

“Really? Uh, t-tell me more,” Mark insisted, trying to get some information. 

Chenle’s eyes squinted momentarily in confusion, not knowing how to answer.

“He doesn’t reply to open questions, ever since I found him in the restroom and dragged him out of the bar,” Jisung clarified. “You have to be specific. Watch this; Chenle, who is Y/N?”

“My mate,” Chenle replied without hesitation, his eyes lighting up for a second. 

“Woah! You found your mate?!” Mark almost screamed. “Congratulations!”

Haechan came back in that moment with a box full of enchanted objects ready to expel the devil from his friend’s body. “What?! Then he’s not possessed, Jisung! He’s probably just daydreaming!”

Jeno laughed and gave Chenle a friendly punch on the arm. “Congratulations!” he said before turning to Jisung and patting his head. “You got us worried for no reason, pup.”

“No, guys, you don’t understand,” Jisung insisted. “Listen to this: Chenle, did you mark Y/N?”

“I don’t want to mark her,” Chenle replied.”I don’t want to be with her.”

Jeno’s eyes widened, Mark’s eyebrows furrowed and Haechan, who was about to walk away with his exorcism kit, turned back, thinking that he may need to intervene after all.

“You don’t want to be with the person you imprinted on?” Haechan repeated.

“ I don’t want to be with her,” Chenle echoed.

“Those are the only full sentences he says,” Jisung whispered with urgency. “That, and that he wants to go home.”

“Well, you are home now,” Jeno informed, placing a gentle hand on Chenle’s shoulder.

Chenle let out a relieved exhale and collapsed on the floor with a loud thud like he had been waiting for that piece of information to shut down.

All four men looked at their passed-out friend in shock until Haechan broke the silence with urgent commands: “Jeno, Mark, hold him still!”

“What for?” Jeno asked, confused.

“I d-don’t think he’s going anywhere…” Mark said.

“Oh, you’re right, why don’t we just let Mr. Demon take their sweet time to consume Chenle’s soul? ” Haechan replied sarcastically. “JUST GRAB HIM!”

Mark and Jeno pinned Chenle’s arms and legs down hesitantly.

“Jisung, help me draw a pentagram around him,” Haechan instructed, handing Jisung a piece of chalk that he took with a trembling hand.

  Jaemin entered through the front door and stared blankly at the scene in front of him. “Is this another episode of ‘just boys being boys’?” he asked, still standing under the doorframe. 

Jeno, Mark, and Haechan exclaimed a bunch of incoherent answers, while Jisung continued sobbing and drawing a circle around Chenle, but somehow Jaemin got the idea and rushed toward Chenle.

“He fainted because he has a fever,” Jaemin sighed after taking his temperature and checking his pulse. “Very intense ruts can cause that. Didn’t you say he just imprinted on someone?”

“But he didn’t sound normal!” Jeno insisted. “He was speaking like he had no soul!”

“BECAUSE A DEMON TOOK IT!” Haechan yelled, making Jisung cry louder.

Jaemin rolled his eyes. “His brain was probably not working properly because of the fever. How many of you can have a normal conversation while in rut?”

The boys sat on the floor in silence, looking at Chenle and then at each other, embarrassed of the collective hysteria that took over them. Jisung was still hiccupping but he calmed down a little.

“He’s not possessed,” Jaemin declared, holding back a laugh. “Now put those candles away and go get him some suppressants and water.”

After that, Chenle’s rut was quite uneventful. Too uneventful.

Taeyong was the first to notice something was off, deciding to enter Chenle’s room after an entire day of not hearing any noise coming from the inside. 

Instead of being met with an incredibly horny and incoherent Chenle humping whatever he could find, he found him lying on the bed as he stared at the roof absentmindedly. 

He called the younger’s name twice. Then he grabbed his shoulders and shook him softly, but Chenle only let out a pathetic whine.

Typically, the best way to reduce the fever that comes with a rut is to get off, as a way to trick their wolf into thinking they were breeding. But Chenle wasn’t interested in getting relief, despite his visible erection. 

He was unresponsive, burning up, and not even trying to do something about it. 

“Chenle, this isn’t your first rut. You know what you gotta do to feel better,” Taeyong reminded him. 

Chenle turned around to lay on his side, looking away from his leader.

“I heard you met your mate. Y/N, wasn’t it?” Taeyong tried a different approach, smiling when Chenle tilted his head towards him slightly with interest. “What is she like?”

“S-she–,” Chenle’s voice was hoarse, so he cleared his throat before speaking again. “She’s perfect…”

Taeyong nodded. “Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Chenle replied curtly. 

“You don’t look like someone who just met the love of his life.”

“Why? Because I’m not behaving like a horndog?” Chenle spat angrily. “I have more class than that.”

“I see,” the leader replied, unimpressed. “Is that the reason you don’t want to mark her or even be with her? Not classy enough for you?”

Chenle groaned. “I just don’t want to! Why do I have to commit to someone I just met?!” he asked defensively. 

The truth was he did not understand why he kept repeating that. He could hear his wolf whimpering painfully in disagreement and his heart throbbing whenever he said he didn’t want to mark you, but for some reason, his brain kept telling him that’s what he wanted. The constant fight between his mind and his body made his head hurt, and his rut was making everything worse. Taeyong’s voice was fading away and his head hurt so much he felt like he would throw up. He couldn’t understand a word that was said to him and honestly, he didn’t want to understand right now. He just wanted to rest, but the room was so hot and it was getting hard to breathe.

He doesn’t know when he fell asleep, but when he woke up he felt less hot than before. As he opened his eyes slowly, he saw Doyoung hovering over him, gently rubbing his face and neck with a wet cloth.

“Hey,” the older one greeted. “How are you feeling?”

Chenle gulped and blinked a couple of times. He was still in pain but he could think a bit more clearly. He noticed he was wearing different clothes, so he assumed his previous clothes were probably drenched with sweat and his pack members had changed him into clean, dry ones.  “G-good.”

“We were going to take you to the hospital if your condition didn’t improve,” Doyoung said. “The entire pack is worried.”

“Sorry,” Chenle said. “I’m fine, it’s just my rut.”

Doyoung, always so perceptive, could tell that something was bothering Chenle, but when he opened his mouth to ask, an enthusiastic knock on the door interrupted him.

“It’s my turn to babysit the pup,” Yuta said energetically, entering the room.

“I don’t need–” Chenle sighed but was quickly cut off by Doyoung.

“Thanks, Yuta! I can’t miss this meeting so I really have to go. He needs to take some medicine at 4. Did you check the group chat? I texted–”

“Yeah, yeah,” Yuta replied, pushing Doyoung out the door. “Just go!” he exclaimed, closing the door and turning towards Chenle. 

Then Chenle heard him lock the door.

“What are you doing?” Chenle asked.

“Why aren’t you jerking off?” Yuta asked straight to the point, asking the question no one had dared to.

“I beg your pardon?” Chenle deadpanned, sitting up and glaring at the older. 

“Why aren’t you making it snow?” Yuta rephrased.

Chenle gave him a disgusted look. 

“You had no problem doing it during past ruts. So what was that about suddenly having too much class for that?” Yuta continued the interrogation.

Great. Taeyong had told everyone.

“I just don’t want to!” he insisted stubbornly. “I’m capable of making my own choices whether my wolf wants it or not.”

“If you won’t listen to your wolf, then at least listen to your body,” Yuta sighed. “The fever will keep coming back unless you take care of yourself.”

“A fever won’t kill me–”

“Doyoung didn’t sleep all night because of how worried he was.”

That shut Chenle up. He didn’t mean to cause trouble. He also wanted his rut to be over but for some reason, it felt wrong to touch himself to the thought of you. After all, you weren’t his. He didn’t want you to be his, right?

“You need to cum, Chenle,” Yuta said firmly.

“...I’m fine,” Chenle murmured, staring at his lap.

“I’ll get you off myself if you don’t.”

Chenle looked up, surprised and enraged. “Wha—,” he yelped, jumping off the bed when he saw Yuta walking towards him. “Hyung, what’s your fucking problem?!”

“You need to cum,” Yuta repeated.

Chenle gulped. “Y-you wouldn’t. You’re mated,” he reminded him.

Yuta nodded. “I already called my mate and asked her for permission. I explained that it was an emergency and I would only do it if you didn’t cooperate. She found it weird,  but in the end, she agreed as long as I only used my hand and never mentioned it again.”

Chenle’s eyes were wide with bewilderment. Yuta was not fucking around. He really was that guy who would help a bro out. “You’re crazy.”

“So I’ve heard,” Yuta conceded. “Now, get over here. The faster we do this, the faster your rut will be over,” he said while he rolled up his sleeves like he was about to perform some surgical procedure.

“NO!” Chenle exclaimed. “I’ll do it myself!”

Yuta raised his eyebrows expectantly. “Go on, then.”

They stared at each other in silence for a whole minute.

“Do you mind…,” Chenle asked vaguely, pointing at the door.

“Nah, I ain’t leaving until you do it.”

“Hyung,” Chenle spoke through gritted teeth. “I promise you I’ll do what I have to do, but please give me some privacy.”

Yuta seemed to think about it for a second and then he made his way to the door, unlocking it and opening it. As he was leaving he spoke again.“Just know that if I don’t hear any fapping sounds I’m coming back–”

“GET OUT!” Chenle yelled, throwing a pillow at the door which closed right in time.“He’s so weird,” he murmured to himself. 

“I heard that!” Yuta yelled from the other side of the door. “That’s not the sound I’m waiting for!”

Chenle groaned. He was incredibly embarrassed to have to touch himself while someone listened, but he knew Yuta wasn’t bluffing and that he wouldn’t leave until he did what he promised he would. 

He stood in the corner of the room that was the furthest from the door and hesitantly palmed himself over his pajama pants. Immediately his back arched and his eyes rolled back.

“F-fuck…” he whispered, pressing his palm against his erection harder. It felt so good to get some friction after holding out for so long.

Why was he avoiding this again?

No, what he was avoiding was not the pleasure itself, but thinking of you to feel said pleasure. He felt like he had no right.

‘No right?!’ huffed an incredulous voice in his head. ‘Who else would have that right if not me? She’s my mate–’

He shook his head and his hand stopped moving. You weren’t his. He didn’t want you to be his, right?

That’s what he had been telling everyone since he met you.

But why did he keep saying that? Why didn’t he want you?

He remembered the taste of your soft lips and his hand resumed its movement as he let out a shaky breath.

How could he not want those lips?

And the way you whimpered when his teeth grazed your neck? 

Oh, hell no. He definitely wanted you.

He pulled his pants down and thrust into his fist.

“Mm…Y/N–ah!” he moaned.

He remembered it now. You had told him that he didn’t want you…and he just went with it?

He let out a sound between a scoff and a laugh as he remembered the conversation. You had dared to tell him what he wanted?

Next time he saw you he would fuck that pretty mouth. That way you wouldn’t repeat such insolent words. 

He gasped, imagining you on your knees with those beautiful eyes glaring at him, full of defiance. 

 You were attracted to him. It was obvious. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have dragged him into the restroom and kissed him stupid. You only showed resistance when he straight-up told you he wanted to mark you.

Okay, maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say to someone he had just met, but Chenle never had been one to beat around the bush. He probably would have told you all that even if he hadn’t entered his rut. 

He wouldn’t let you go that easily next time.

You would be his.

“I want you…” he murmured like he was talking to you. “I want you,” he repeated, this time louder and more secure. “I want you, I want you, I want you—Oooh!” He gasped and his legs trembled as he reached his long-overdue orgasm and white liquid covered his hand. 

He continued stroking his cock lazily as he slid down the wall. 

That was the best orgasm he had ever had. And it had just been a quickie with his hand.

Oh God…he hoped Yuta had left already. He must have, because he couldn’t smell him anymore.

“Y/N,” he whispered. “I want you,” he declared, practicing what he would say next time he saw you. 

His head was clear now and he knew that he had to have you. Whatever possessed him to say he didn’t was gone. 

His hand sped up again, this time without a single ounce of guilt or hesitation, aiming to enjoy every sensation the thought of you was giving him and finishing his rut fast to go back to that damn bar.

And he did just that.

A couple of days later you were taking orders and preparing drinks as usual when a familiar ID card was slid toward you on the counter.

Chenle. 

You tried not to show your nervousness. After all, you had hypnotized him, so he surely wasn’t back for you. He probably just wanted a drink.

You cleared your throat and tried your best to avoid eye contact. “What can I get you?” you asked curtly.

“I want your number,” the familiar voice said.

You looked up, surprised. 

There he was, glaring at you with such intensity you just knew he had managed to escape your spell. In just two days.

“No,” you replied, trying to hide your agitation. 

“No?” he echoed.

“I’m not interested,” you half-lied. Were you interested in him? Yes. Were you interested in a commitment to life with him? No.

“You were interested when I offered to suck on your tits,” he reminded you, making a few people turn their heads in shock.

You were mortified.

“Y/N, Can you get some whiskey from the storage room?” Yeosang’s voice called as he stood in front of you. “I’ll be taking your order, sir.”

You nodded, mentally thanking Yeosang and making your way to the storage room, just to see Chenle trying to follow you by walking around the counter. 

“Sir,” Yeosang spoke harshly this time, as he positioned himself in front of Chenle again. “I said I would be taking your order.”

“I’m not done talking to her,” Chenle said.

“I think you are,” Yeosang replied with a polite smile, crossing his arms and displaying perfectly sculpted muscles.

Chenle didn’t work out as hard as some of his pack members and he had no experience fighting so he knew this guy would probably knock him out with a single hit. But his wolf kept telling him to fight this bartender guy who dared to hide his mate from him. 

“I just want to talk to her,” Chenle spoke through gritted teeth, trying his best to calm himself down.

“Do you want to talk to him?” Yeosang asked you.

You looked at Chenle and then at Yeosang, before sighing and giving Yeosang a short nod. 

“Fine. But over there, where I can see you,” Yeosang warned him, pointing at an empty table in a corner.

“Thank you,” Chenle mumbled before walking to where he was told to go and taking a seat to wait for you. He was a nervous wreck, but he would never admit to it.

“Here,” you said, placing a glass of water in front of him before sitting on the chair next to him. 

“Thanks,” he replied curtly and took a sip of water, trying to remember what he had come to say. It was hard to concentrate when you were looking at him with those captivating eyes.

You also drank some water to calm your nerves as anxious thoughts invaded you. Had he figured out what you had done? If so, you should probably apologize now that he seems to be open to dialogue.

“Sorry,” you both said at the same time.

Both of you seemed surprised at what they heard from the other.

“Uh…,” you stuttered trying to figure out how to continue from there.

“Sorry, did you want to–...” Chenle vaguely gestured for you to speak first.

“No! You first,” you urged.

“Okay, uh…,” he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry if I scared you the other day.”

“...Scare me?” you echoed.

He nodded.

“That whole biting thing and the things I said…I won’t lie and say I didn’t mean them. I meant every single word. But I understand that’s not how normal conversations go when you just meet someone. I got carried away.”

You nodded too.

“I would like to start over if you’re okay with that,” he offered hopefully. “We don’t have to do anything like that night. We can just…talk and get to know each other.”

You took another sip of your drink while Chenle waited for your answer.

“I don’t think so,” you finally said, looking away when you saw Chenle’s eyes widen in distress. “I don’t date.”

“You d-don’t…,” Chenle repeated dumbly. “What?! Like at all?!”

You shrugged. “It’s not my thing.”

“Then what did you want from me that night?! A quick fuck?!”

“Yes. Exactly,” you admitted. “You thought you could find a wholesome relationship at a bar? How cute,” you teased him.

“It wouldn’t have mattered where I met you. I would have wanted you regardless,” he replied assertively.

“Mm, thanks,” you replied casually like your heart didn’t beat faster at his words. “But my answer’s still no.”

Chenle froze. What did you mean no? That was ridiculous! How would a wolf survive after being rejected by their mate?!

“We don’t have to call it dating,” he quickly said when he saw you standing up to leave.

You hesitated and looked at Chenle.

“What would you call it, then?” you asked him just out of curiosity, sitting down again. You wouldn’t change your mind regardless.

“Whatever you want,” he bargained, trying to look uninterested when he was actually desperate.

“Whatever I want,” you hummed. “So you’re okay with being fuckbuddies?” 

He was conflicted. He didn’t want that exactly, but if that was his only hope to win you over, he would take it. He would take anything as long as you didn’t cut him off completely. 

“Yes,” he spoke through gritted teeth.

“Hmm.. I don’t know,” you teased him a little more. He was just so cute when he was annoyed. “You’re not really my type.”

He poked his tongue on his cheek. “Why not?”

“You’re not very tall–”

“I’m not short either.”

“You're too impulsive.”

“Says the one who dragged me to the restroom.”

“And you’re younger than me.”

Chenle opened his mouth to speak and then he closed it again. He never told you his age–Oh, right, his ID! 

“So what?” he asked.

“You won’t even ask how old I am?” you taunted him.

“Doesn’t matter. I bet you’re barely a couple of years older. And I would want you even if you were 10 years older. I don’t care.”

“But I care,” you lied.

He leaned closer to you. “Bullshit,” he laughed. Sounding confident for the first time in the conversation. “You knew my age that night when you had me pressed against the restroom wall.”

Your smirk dropped. 

“You were moaning and humping my leg like you couldn’t get enough of me, but now I’m not your type?” he mocked. “I like that you’re playing hard to get. It’s cute,” he admitted. “Now can you drop the act and let me ruin you?”

You gulped.

“What makes you so sure that’s what I want?”

“Oh, please. Your pupils dilated when I said that,” he scoffed. “But what really gave you away was how wet you got as soon as you heard my voice. I can smell it, you know?”

You bit your lip and glared at him. “How do you know it wasn’t because of someone else?”

“Because the scent gets stronger whenever I speak,” he said hoarsely, making you shiver. “I have never met someone so…sensitive to sounds,” he purred, dangerously close to your ear.

 You had to fight the urge to roll your eyes back in bliss. Sirens were indeed sensitive to sound and just like they used their voice to tempt their prey, they felt attracted to melodic voices too.

“It’s not bad, I guess,” you admitted.

“I like your voice too,” Chenle said. “Would love to hear you screaming, though.”

You inhaled sharply.

Chenle smirked triumphantly. Admittedly, he had come to see you to ask you out romantically, not sexually. But this approach seemed to work better with you and he was getting turned on too. “Let’s get out of here,” his sultry voice suggested and by your scent, he knew he had won.

“You’ll have to wait until closing hours,” you said, trying to act coyly even though your legs visibly shook when you stood up. “If you wanna wait here then you have to order something.”

“I’ll get a glass of whichever your favorite liquor is.”

Smooth. He was quite confident now that he was sure you liked him back.

“I only drink luxurious brands,” you lied, trying to intimidate him. “Can you afford it?”

Chenle handed you a black card and chuckled when you gasped. 

“I think I’ll survive,” he said. “By the way, what did you want to apologize for?” He asked, remembering how the whole conversation had started.

“O-oh, just for…leaving you alone in the restroom that night,” you lied. “I’ll go get your drink,” you added and left before he had the chance to reply

“You okay?” Yeosang asked when you went back to the bar counter. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You guys looked close,” he commented teasingly. “Are you sure he’s not your mate?”

“I told you it’s not like that.”

Yeosang shrugged. “You looked tired and kind of pale these last two days but now you suddenly look like you slept 12 hours and had a four-course meal.”

“You’re seeing things, Sangie,” you laughed nervously. 

“Hm… and you haven’t been feeling a tingle on your fingertips right?” Yeosang asked casually.

You almost dropped the glass you were holding. Your fingertips had started tingling the day before for no apparent reason so you had assumed you had an allergic reaction to something.

“Why do you ask?” You inquired.

“It’s one of the signs of siren imprinting,” he replied distractedly as he handed a drink to a customer.

“Why didn’t you mention it when I asked you the other night?!” You asked him urgently.

“I forgot,” he said simply.

“Any other symptoms I should be aware of?” You asked in an irritated tone.

“You said you were sure you weren’t mates, so I don’t think so.”

“Okay, but what if we were mates? What else would I need to know?” You insisted. “Hypothetically,” you added when he gave you an inquisitive look.

“Well, I guess hypothetically, you should be aware that for sirens pleasure is very important and that orgasms strengthen the bond,” he commented. “Once your mate makes you orgasm then you’ll be tied to him forever,” he said.

You scoffed. “So I would belong to any man who makes me cum? That’s ridiculous! I’ve never felt that way after sex.”

“Because none of them was your mate. None of them made your fingers tingle in a funny way, or  feel energized as soon as you saw them, or made you feel like you would explode if you didn’t kiss them—“

“Chenle doesn’t make me feel like that either!” You lied, feeling called out.

“Then you have nothing to worry about, right?” he agreed. “This is all hypothetical.”

“But, hypothetically, if Chenle and I were mates and I wanted to…hang out with him…”

“Hang out as in…having sex?” Yeosang clarified.

“Uh,y-yes,” you replied. “Let’s say I want to have sex with him but I don’t want to consummate the bond. How should I do it?”

“Pleasure, especially orgasms, are what seal the bond between mates. If Chenle is your mate and you want to fool around with him but you don’t want to be tied to him, then all you gotta do is make sure he doesn’t make you cum,” he explained like he had a PhD in this stuff. 

You looked at him, dumbfounded. “I don’t get to feel good?”

“You can if you’re willing to accept him as your forever mate,” he shrugged. “Hypothetically,” he added mockingly. 

He always knew when you were lying, so he was sure you were crazy about Chenle even if you denied it. 

You sighed. “Fuck…”

“Y/N, would it really be that bad?” Yeosang sighed too, trying to understand why you were so against the idea of being in a romantic relationship. “You imprinted on him, and he imprinted on you too. Why not accept and enjoy it?”

“And being stuck in a boring town with a stupid mutt as a companion for the rest of my life?” you hissed. “Sangie, you know me! I can’t stay in one place or be with one person! I’m a free spirit!”

“Then don’t get involved with someone who clearly is serious about you?” Yeosang offered, confused at your dilemma. 

“But I want him so bad!” you whined.

“Then go get him?”

“But I don’t want him forever.”

Yeosang clicked his tongue, expressing disapproval. “You’re so selfish sometimes…”

“I’m literally just a girl,” you countered. “I’m allowed to have fun–Oh, that’s right! I can just stop before I cum, right?” you gasped, excited at the discovery of a loophole.

Yeosang didn’t reply. He shook his head in disbelief and went back to preparing drinks. 

You were too excited to worry about his criticism. Taking orders and stealing glances at Chenle who wouldn’t look away from you during your entire shift. He waited patiently for you to finish working but the anticipation was killing him, and when you finally approached him after cleaning your workstation, he grabbed your hand and took you out of the bar in a hurry, observed by a very conflicted Yeosang. 

Considering he had a black card, you weren’t surprised when you found yourself sitting in a luxurious car that screamed rich. You knew nothing about cars, yet you knew this one was expensive. This guy was a big deal.

“Are you even allowed to drive, pup?” you teased him when he sat in the driver’s seat. It was a dumb question, just aiming to make him feel smaller as a way to gain back your power.

“Put on your seat belt,” he commanded, ignoring your question.

“Ah, I guess you’re still a learner driver,” you said, chuckling. “It’s okay, don’t be embarrassed.”

Before you could blink he was hovering over you, looking into your eyes sternly. 

“Do you have any idea of how hard it is to focus on driving when you’re soaked sitting next to me?” he asked slowly, threateningly. “I’m suffocating on your scent, so sorry if I want to keep you safe while I speed to get us somewhere private.”

Blank.

You couldn’t think of anything to say.

No smart comebacks. No teasing. 

You were sure all that would leave your mouth right now was a pathetic moan, so you opted to keep quiet. 

That seemed to please Chenle. 

“Good girl,” you heard him whisper before a clicking sound told you he had successfully fastened your seat belt. 

He accommodated himself and put on his seat belt before starting the car and driving in complete silence. He was gripping the steering wheel with so much strength that his knuckles were turning white. His jaw was tense and he kept his eyes strictly on the road because he knew if he looked at you he would stop the car and take you right there.

You didn’t say anything either. Aroused yet annoyed at the power he effortlessly held over you. You would find a way to gain control again soon.

When the car stopped, Chenle quickly got off and walked around the vehicle to open the door for you. 

“What a gentleman,” you cooed, back in the game, allowing him to help you out of the car.

“Not for long,” he spoke under his breath, once again taking your hand to drag you into the fanciest hotel you had ever seen. 

You tried not to let it show that you were impressed.

 “I guess your place wasn’t good enough to take me there…,” you taunted once you reached the elevator and he pressed the button with the highest number on it.

“My place is too crowded. But we can go there if you don’t mind the entire pack listening,” he commented, still holding your hand firmly. 

“Like you could make me moan,” you scoffed. 

Chenle huffed. He was so ready to fuck that attitude out of you. “We’re about to find out,” he said, guiding you out of the elevator and into the room he had booked.

You couldn’t help your gasp.

“Is this the presidential suite–?” you turned to ask but were interrupted by Chenle kissing you hotly, pressing your back against the door you had just entered through.

The kiss was wet, unpractised,  desperate. He tasted like liquor and his skill wasn’t perfect, yet it was somehow the best kiss you’d ever had. The lack of air in your lungs and the way his hands held your waist with his hips pressed against yours firmly, made you feel deliciously dizzy and craving for more.

You let out a broken moan and Chenle chuckled. 

“You said I’m not your type and that I can’t make you moan, huh? ” he whispered, pressing his hips harder against yours and making you whine. “I haven’t even done anything, yet you’re enjoying yourself so much,” he cooed, licking your earlobe.

You shivered. “S-shut up–”

“Look at you, so precious,” he continued, moving his hips in a circular motion that had you closing your eyes and moaning louder. “Are you gonna cum just from this?”

Your eyes snapped open in realization and you pushed him away abruptly, almost making him fall on the floor. 

He looked at you with wide eyes, confused and worried. “What? Was I too rough?” he asked. 

You exhaled shakily and tried to regain some composure. If what Yeosang said was true, then you absolutely couldn’t cum. Not by Chenle’s doing. You were going to have some fun with him, make out, and maybe torment him a little bit, but you wouldn’t let him get you off. 

“Did you bring me here to hump me and cum in your pants? What was I expecting from a dumb pup,” you sighed, feigning disappointment. 

He squinted his eyes and clenched his fist.

“I’m feeling charitable today, so I’ll offer you a deal,” you said, smiling sweetly and walking towards the master bedroom, with Chenle tailing you. “I’ll get you off and then you’ll drive me home,” you declared, sitting on the huge bed.

“Get me off?” he repeated dumbly, standing in front of you. “What about you?”

“You think you can get me off?” you sneered. 

“I was about to before you pushed me away,” he growled.

“Please, that was not me about to cum,” you lied. “It’s just a little act us women put on to make guys feel good.”

“I’m sure you were about to–” he insisted.

“Yeah? Do you think you know my body better than me? Why would I have stopped you if I was feeling that good?”

Chenle blinked a couple of times, processing that maybe he had read your body language wrong and disappointed you. He wasn’t crazy experienced, but the few lovers he had had hadn’t complained. Surely he couldn’t be that bad…

Or could he?

Oh no…You had agreed to meet with him only for sex and he couldn’t even do that, right? Fuck, he couldn’t lose you now. He would do anything.

“Let me try again,” he proposed, climbing on the bed and trying to kiss you, but you turned away.

“If you’re not going to follow my rules, I’m leaving,” you threatened.

His eye twitched. He wanted to spank you until your ass turned red and pound you on the bed until you behaved. He wasn’t one to take orders. But he wanted to do things right with you. Now that he was thinking somewhat clearly, he wanted you to be with him willingly, instead of biting you and forcing you into a relationship. He wanted you to want him. And if that meant he had to lower his head for now and re-learn all he knew about sex, then so be it.

“What do you want me to do?” he finally asked. 

“Just be a good pup and take your pants off for me, will you?” you asked and giggled. That little giggle that drove Chenle crazy.

He cringed at the pet name but he did as he was told, standing up and unbuckling his belt. You loved your men obedient, but even if his actions were compliant, his eyes failed to hide his obstinate nature. Anyone could tell he wasn’t used to submitting to anyone.

You smirked, willing yourself to pester him with some other brazen comment when the sound of his belt and pants hitting the floor brought your attention toward his barely covered center. 

Shocking. Scandalous. Massive.

The pair of gray boxers could barely contain what was in there. 

You had seen big before, but not this big. 

“What now?” Chenle deadpanned. He wasn’t loving this situation.

“What now?” you laughed, swallowing back the saliva that pooled in your mouth when you were daydreaming about his cock. “There’s already a stain of precum on your underwear. I think you could cum without me doing anything at all.”

Chenle sighed, frustrated. “Look, if you don’t want to do this–”

“Come closer,” you commanded.

Chenle bit his lower lip. He wanted to say so many things, but he controlled himself and walked until he was mere centimeters away from you. 

Ignoring his blazing glare, you hooked your index fingers on the elastic of his boxers and lowered them lazily, hearing his breath stutter. 

There it was. Hard, thick, and huge right in front of your face. 

You hoped Chenle hadn’t noticed your thighs rubbing, or that he magically couldn’t smell your wetness, but when you looked up at him his eyes were glimmering with mischief. He had noticed alright.

Before he could say anything smart, you blew the reddened tip of his cock, making him groan. You gave him a sickeningly sweet smile. “You okay, pup?”

He glared at you, gulping audibly, and gave you a short nod.

“If it’s too much for you,” you purred, tracing the length softly with your fingernails and making him shiver. “We can stop, you know?”

He shook his head. “N-no.”

 You laughed, finally circling him with your fist and giving him a firm tug that made him groan. When you built up a steady rhythm, his knees buckled and his hands quickly landed on your shoulders to avoid completely collapsing. 

Noticing how difficult it was for him to stand while being so overwhelmed with pleasure you stopped your caress to make him an offering. “Climb here,” you instructed, patting at your lap. 

Chenle, who had gasped dramatically at the sudden lack of stimulation, looked at you like you were crazy. 

“You don’t wanna sit on mommy’s lap, pup?” you faked a pout, sitting further back on the bed to make more space for him.

“I’m not a fucking pup!” he snapped. He had tried to be good, but you were stepping over the line. “I’m not a fucking virgin either so stop treating me like one and I don’t care if you’re older than me I’m not calling you mommy.”

You glared at him, unamused. You could just threaten to leave, but seeing how annoyed he was, he would probably let you. And that wasn’t the plan. You still wanted to have some more fun. 

“What a shame,” you sighed, parting your legs just enough for him to catch a whiff of your arousal. “I was getting excited…”

Chenle forgot immediately about his anger, keeping his eyes on your hands that were slowly pulling your skirt up your thighs. 

“Thought that maybe you could make me feel good,” you pouted. “ But I guess I was wrong.”

Chenle shook his head and climbed on the bed. “No, no, I can,” he whispered, pecking your lips. “I’ll make you feel good, ” he promised.

You bit back a smirk, which soon turned into a yelp when Chenle pushed you so you lay flat on your back with him on top of you and slid his hand under your skirt and right into your panties. “C-chenle!”

“Yes,” he whispered against your lips, drunk on your scent. “Yes, I’m here. I’m here for you.” 

“O-oh!” you moaned when his index went straight for your clit and stroked it skillfully. “Oh my g-god–Chenle wait a min–Mmm!”

He hummed in delight. The sounds you made were so beautiful. 

“I’ll make it good this time, okay?” he panted, stroking you faster and making your back arch. “I’ll make you cum for sure,” he guaranteed.

“P-pup, slow down, m´kay? Aah… s-slow…I–fuck…I said I w-wanted to get y-you off, remember?”

“That’s because you think I can’t do the same for you,” he protested. “But I’ll show you I can.” 

Fuck, he was determined. If he was just a random hookup you would appreciate it, but right now that was the last thing you wanted.

“H-hey, Chenle–aah…” you called for him, grabbing the wrist of his hand that was working hard to make you see heaven. “I can’t come j-just like th-aah…” you spoke shakily, trying to discourage him. “Y-you can try a–haa– again n-next time–”

Chenle kissed your lips and hushed you. “You’re close,” he assured you, and he wasn’t wrong. You could feel your toes curling and your abdomen tensing.

It was about to snap.

Oh no. No, no.

You didn’t want to do this to him again, but…

“C-chenle, listen to me,” you caught his attention by grabbing his face with both your hands. “You don’t really want to g-get me off,” you told him, using that alluring voice that always got you what you wanted. 

His movements slowed down. “What are you talking about?” he whispered incredulously. 

“You just want me to m-make you cum and then you’ll be satisfied,” you said like you were reminding him of something he had forgotten, silly him. 

His fingers stilled on your pulsating clit and he seemed lost, like he had no idea what to do with himself now.

“You only want to sleep with me, no strings attached, remember?” you breathed out, relieved that the pleasure was fading away.

“Yes, I…I remember,” he muttered. 

“And we agreed that we would do things my way,” you informed him.

“We did,” he agreed.

“Good pup,” you sighed, pulling his hand out of your panties. “I’ll take care of you, okay?”

He looked at you with furrowed brows. He felt so weird. What you said made sense, but why did it feel wrong?

You bit your lip when you saw a dash of hesitation in his eyes. How come he was so resistant to your hypnosis?  You had to make him stop thinking.

“Relax,” you told him, caressing his still-clothed shoulders, arms, and stomach.

“Somethings’s wrong,” he admitted.

“Nothing’s wrong.” you purred, reaching his member and resuming your touch.

He moaned and almost collapsed on top of you. “Y-Y/N…”

“Relax,” you repeated.

“I…Ooh– I f-feel… like s-something’s missin–ah… ah, ah–Mmm…,” he spoke incoherently, thrusting into your fist.

“Mm? What could be missing?”

“Y/N–”

“Doesn’t it feel good?”

“ ‘S good– so fucking g–Ooooh…” he whined.

“Are you gonna cum for me?” you asked.

“Haa… gonna– y-yeah, ah…,” 

“Then cum,” you encouraged.

He hid his face in the crook of your neck and came with a choked moan, convulsing on top of you and spilling all over your hand. 

You had to use a massive amount of self-control to avoid cumming at the sight. He sounded and looked beautiful, and even the tiny aftershocks that made his body convulse were kind of cute.

You don’t know what took over you when one of your hands started playing with his hair like you would with a lover. He hummed contently nuzzling your neck.

“My mate,” he murmured sweetly, placing a gentle kiss on your collarbone. 

You froze. That wasn’t very ‘no strings attached’ of him.

“Alright, get dressed,” you instructed, pushing him off you and getting off the bed. “Time to drive me home.”

He looked so vulnerable, naked from the waist down, displaying his spent cock covered in clear liquid, and his face flushed red while he looked at you like a kicked puppy. He opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it again. The feeling that something was off came back but he had no idea what it was.

In the end, he sighed and did as he was told. For some reason, he didn’t feel satisfied at all and he kept overthinking even when he got home.

He didn’t know what to tell everyone when they cornered in the kitchen the next morning.

“You said you would keep me updated so I had my phone with me at all times,” whined Jisung, following Chenle to the table. “But you didn’t text me once! 

“Jisungie was about to go find you,” Renjun sighed. “I told him that if you didn’t text him it was because you were probably busy.”

“I text you guys even if I’m busy!” Jisung complained.

“Really? Do you text us even when you’re balls deep in your girlfriend?” Haechan asked nonchalantly, making Jisung gasp, Mark choke on his cereal and earning a glare from Renjun.

“Language!” Kun warned from the sofa, without looking up from his book. He had arrived from one of his trips a few days ago and he was not impressed by how much the pack’s manners had worsened. 

“Sorry,” Haechan said even though everyone knew he wasn’t sorry.

“Is t-that what you were…” Jisung tried to ask Chenle, blushing and stuttering.

“What?” Asked Chenle, munching on his sandwich.

“Were you… balls deep in Y/N?” Jisung asked shyly, waiting for Kun to reprimand him. But no nagging came. Kun was as silent as the rest of the guys, waiting for Chenle’s answer.

Chenle groaned. “Do you have to say it like that?”

“So you were!” Haechan accused, getting ready to celebrate another successful love story in the pack.

“No!” Chenle groaned. “I was with her, but we didn’t get that far.”

“How far did you get?” Haechan asked.

“You don’t have to answer that,” Renjun said.

But Chenle knew they would pester him until he spilled the tea.

“We talked and we made a deal,” He said, omitting that you had completely dominated him.

“What type of deal?” Mark asked.

He was hoping Renjun told him he didn’t have to answer this one either, but Renjun seemed curious too.

“We agreed to get to know each other physically, for now,” he grumbled.

Everyone’s smiles dropped.

“You mean like sex stuff?” Mark asked awkwardly.

“Yes.”

“But not dating?” Renjun asked, exchanging worried looks with the others.

“…No, we uh—we don’t call it dating.”

“What do you call it, then?” Haechan asked. Even he had stopped eating.

“We’re fuckbuddies…”

Renjun, Mark, Haechand, and Jisung didn’t know if that was good or bad news. 

On the negative side, it could mean that Chenle’s mate didn’t take him seriously and didn’t want a relationship with him.

In a more positive light, she hadn’t completely rejected him.

“That’s great!” Haechan decided it was good news. “It means she’s attracted to you.”

“Yeah,” Mark agreed. “And it can grow into something more as time goes by.”

Renjun remained silent. He wasn’t that optimistic.

“So..” Jisung finally spoke. “You’re sleeping together but you’re not… together?”

Chenle shrugged. “Yeah, we don’t need labels. It’s whatever.”

“Are you sure that’s okay?” Jisung asked.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Chenle asked, feigning indifference. “I’ve never been a relationship person.”

“But she’s your mate,” Jisung insisted, while the others observed quietly.

“So?”

“Doesn’t she make you want to be a relationship person?!” Jisung asked exasperatedly. 

“We’re fine,” Chenle sighed. “She doesn’t want to date anyone anyways,” he murmured.

Kun’s laugh startled everyone and annoyed the fuck out of Chenle. 

“What’s so funny, gege? He asked.

“You really know nothing about women,” Kun said, grabbing a chair and joining them on the table.

Chenle glared at him. He wanted to tell him that he knew what he needed to know… but he remembered the humiliation of not knowing how to make you feel good and you looking down on him as a sexual partner and he decided that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to hear Kun’s words. “What is it that I don’t know?”

“Have you never watched (500) Days of Summer?” Kun asked.

“OH! I know that one! There’s this girl with really big eyes, right?” Mark replied and Haechan and Jisung started guessing and mispronouncing the name of the actress.

“Does the girl end up  with the main guy?” Kun’s voice interrupted their animated conversation.

“No,” Renjun sighed. This was exactly what he was worried about and he was glad Kun thought the same.

“What’s that stupid movie have to do with me?” Chenle asked.

“Every woman wants a relationship eventually, but they don’t give themselves to just anyone,” Kun explained, not shying away from Chenle’s furious eyes. “If she doesn’t want a relationship it’s because she hasn’t met anyone worth being in a relationship with.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chenle growled.

“She doesn’t see you as a potential partner, so she’ll have fun with you until the man of her dreams steals her away.”

Chenle stood up abruptly, not caring about his elder talking, his half-eaten sandwich, and his friends’ worried eyes. He walked out of the house and slammed the door behind him.

“I didn’t really understand the movie,” Jisung admitted. 

But even he knew that his best friend was in some deep shit.

 Hoping to calm down, Chenle went to the beach for a walk. He needed some fresh air and time to think. And the smell of the ocean reminded him of you, so it helped him lower his anxiety.

He wasn’t just annoyed at what Kun said, but at what he himself kept saying. 

Why did he say what you two had was whatever?

Why did he keep saying he didn’t want a relationship with you? Why didn’t he want it?!

What type of werewolf doesn’t want to commit to his mate?

Younger him would have loved the idea of a hot older woman getting him off without wanting anything in return. It was every teenager’s fantasy.

But he wasn’t a teenager anymore and you weren’t a fantasy. You were the real deal; the woman he was destined to spend the rest of his life with.

He sat on the sand, feeling defeated and tried to collect his thoughts to figure out where this whole ‘I don’t wanna date Y/N’ thing came from.

First,, he met you at the bar and he made it very clear he wanted to mark you and even marry you.

Then you told him that’s not what he actually wanted and he agreed.

During his rut, he came to his senses and decided to ask you out properly.

He did ask you out. You said no, but you were open to casual sex with him.

He didn’t want just sex with you, but he thought that was the only way to spend time with you so he agreed.

You made out and then you pushed him away and told him he couldn’t please you.

You told him he only wanted to get off and nothing else.

He agreed.

Why did he agree?! Why didn’t he make you cum too?!

“What the fuck’s wrong with me?” he groaned.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” You asked Yeosang.

“Nothing,” he replied calmly.

“You sound like you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad. I’m disappointed,” he clarified.

You groaned. “I told him I didn’t want a relationship and he agreed.”

“Did he?” He challenged. “Or did you use your siren voice to convince him?”

You looked away.

“That’s not fair Y/N,” he murmured.

“He agreed before I bewitched him,” you defended yourself.

“Then why did you even have to bewitch him?” He asked, knitting his brows.

“I uh… didn’twannacum,” you barely whispered.

“Huh?”

You licked your lips in annoyance. “To make sure he didn’t make me cum,” you repeated, louder.

Yeosang’s jaw hung open. “Unbelievable.”

“He’s fine,” you rolled your eyes and finished whipping the counter. “I made sure he finished—“

“I’m done,” Yeosang interrupted you. “I don’t wanna talk to you until you understand what the problem is,” he spoke firmly and walked away from you to take a customer’s order.

Your heart broke. In the four years you had known each other Yeosang had never been mad at you. 

You knew he was right. You shouldn’t have done that to Chenle…but you had never liked someone this much. He drove you insane with a desire that was somewhere between sexual and domestic. And that terrified you.

You loved working and traveling on the ship and you didn’t want anything to change. But would it really be that bad to enjoy your time in this town? Once the bar moved to its next destination you wouldn’t see Chenle again and you and Yeosang would go back to normal.

Everything was fine.

After a few nights, you texted Chenle to ask him to meet up after your shift, which he immediately agreed to, picking you up and taking you to the same luxurious room he had booked last time. In a matter of seconds, you had him sitting on the bed half-naked, with you on your knees in front of him, taking as much of his cock as you could in your mouth.

Chenle was taken aback, but once again, he let you do what you wanted. He was hoping that this time he would make you feel good too, and if he was lucky you would stay the night and he would wake up to your sleepy face–

“Fuck,” he hissed when you circled the tip with your tongue, spreading his legs wider. 

You looked up at him and regretted it immediately because the view almost made you cum untouched. He was biting his lip to repress the moans and his eyes were half-lidded, and you thought no one could possibly look this hot.

You closed your eyes to avoid the arousing visual stimulation and focused on his taste only, which was weirdly addicting and made you salivate so much that the blowjob became even sloppier.

“Y/N…” he sighed. “I’m not g-gona last…”

You ignored him and bobbed your head faster. The plan was for him to not last. Not that you wanted this to end fast because you didn’t enjoy it, but because you wanted to get off soon, and for that, you had to go home while memories of Chenle were still fresh to pleasure yourself. 

“Ooh fu–,” Chenle moaned. “Okay, f-fine, I got it– We’ll do it your w-way but,” he gulped and paused to take a deep breath and regain some self-control. “I get to make you feel good too–aaah!” 

You chose that exact moment to deep-throat him.

“Haa…Y/N, fuck, fuck fuuuck,” he whined, daring to place his hands on your head and caress your hair. “Imma….Imma eat y-you out real good after this-Oh!” he lost his train of thought when you choked around him and he came in your mouth as you sucked him dry.

He let out one last broken moan when you released his member. He was panting and looking at you like you were a miracle.

“My turn,” he said darkly, pulling your arm until he had you sitting on his lap, kissing your face and neck all over while he unbuttoned your blouse. 

“I–,” you stuttered. “I’m actually k-kinda tired.”

“Tired?” Chenle stopped his kisses and touches and looked at you in surprise before quickly collecting himself. “That’s okay, you don’t have to do anything. I’ll take care of you,” he promised as he finished opening your blouse.

You pulled away, with your blouse completely open, and looked down at a very confused Chenle.

“I’m not really in the mood anymore,” you shrugged and his mouth fell open in shock.

“A-are you sure? Because your scent–”

“Pretty sure. I’ll call a taxi,” you said, grabbing your phone.

“N-no, I’ll…I’ll drive you,” a very defeated Chenle said, slowly getting up and getting dressed. 

Admittedly, you had made him feel very good. Hell, that was better than good, it was mind blowing. But he just couldn’t be satisfied if he was the only one who got to feel good. 

He could smell how aroused you were, and sometimes he felt like he could taste how close you were to cumming. Yet he never had the chance to make it happen. He was afraid that if he didn’t fulfill his duty as a fuckbuddy you would end things real fast.

So he kept showing up whenever you called and doing whatever you wanted for about a month, only to be dismissed whenever he felt like he had you. 

One night he had been particularly lucky; you had him completely naked, on his back, with you wearing only your bra, straddling him and letting him slide just the tip into the most delectable warmth known to him. 

“You’re s-so good,” he muttered, fixated on the way the tip of his cock disappeared inside of you. “So good…” he repeated.

“Yeah? You like it?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady. You were more affected than you wanted to admit and you were playing a dangerous game because you had never been this close to cumming during your previous encounters with him. You should stop now and use your hand or mouth like you usually did, but he was stretching you so good.

“I love it,” he groaned, arching his back and licking his lips. “I love you,” he breathed out.

You moaned. For the first time in weeks you moaned.

He had just said he loved you. Three words you didn’t need in this type of relationship but that somehow brought a wave of pleasure to your body and made you lose strength and accidentally go lower, him sinking deeper in you.

Chenle watched in awe how you took more of him and he grasped your hips desperately. 

You looked at each other with wide eyes as you tried to catch your breath.

But this time Chenle reacted faster than you did, snapping his hips up and making your vision go blurry.

Before you had time to recover he did it again. And then again, and again until he had you bouncing on his lap.

“C–Chenle, let m-me…,” you moaned, placing your hands on his lower abdomen to stop him from thrusting up. “Let m-me do it, pup,” you offered, knowing that if he kept it up you would cum soon.

He stared back at you, disobediently, and since you weren’t letting him push his hips up freely, he brought you down, hitting a spot that had you gasping for air.

“Shh…I–I got it,” he spoke through gritted teeth, speeding up and trying to hold back his own orgasm to pleasure you.

Your body tensed in his firm grasp and the volume of your angelic moans escalated.

 A sense of pride filled his chest.

He was making his mate feel good.

He was finally going to make you cum.

“Yes, yes, come on, c-come on, come on,” he muttered urgently.

“NO!” you yelled. “STOP!”

He hesitated momentarily and it was enough for you to break free and run to the bathroom, leaving poor, flustered Chenle on the bed alone.

You entered the bathroom and locked the door behind you, leaning against the door and taking deep breaths to calm down, but the tingling feeling in your center was urgent. You normally waited until you got home to touch yourself after meeting up with Chenle, but your orgasm was right there. You just couldn’t wait.

So you didn’t.

You held your breath and inserted a finger inside of you, trying to get yourself off before Chenle came looking for you–

“Y/N?” 

Fuck.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asked from the other side of the door.

“Mmhm, a-all good,” you said quickly, working yourself faster.

“Can you open the door?” he asked worriedly.

“J-just give me a minute,” you spoke a little out of breath and bit your lip to catch any lewd sound that could give you away.

You didn’t hear him say anything else for  a few seconds, but then the door handle shook hastily. He was trying to enter.

“Just a m-minute!” you repeated, closing your eyes at the incoming climax.

“What are you doing?” He growled from the other side, struggling with the handle.

A few whimpers escaped you when your thumb grazed your clit and he banged on the door loudly.

“Open the door!” he commanded. “Y/N I swear to god if you’re doing what I think you’re doing—”

You came with a shaky moan. It wasn’t scandalously loud, but he heard it for sure.

The door you were leaning on opened abruptly and you fell in the same arms that had you shaking earlier. When you looked up you were met with his livid eyes.

He turned you around hastily and brought the hand you had used to pleasure yourself to his face, easily seeing the sticky liquid spread on your fingers. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” he yelled

You were petrified, trying to come up with an excuse for your behavior. Nothing you could possibly say would make sense.

“I was so close to making you come but you ran away just so you could finish yourself in the bathroom?!”

You sighed. “I’ll help you finish now–”

“You think that’s what’s bothering me?!”

“Then what’s bothering you?” you asked dismissively. “Can’t a woman make herself feel good?”

“Of course you can! When you have no one to take care of you–” he let out a frustrated groan. “What I mean is that I’m right here, and I’m dying to make you feel good, but whenever I think I’m doing a good job you run away and take it away from me!”

“Maybe you’re not doing as much of a good job as you think,” you lied.

“Then teach me!” he basically implored. “Tell me what you like for once instead of making me cum as fast as you can and leaving.”

“Chenle,” you spoke more gently, making him look at you, and once again using that voice. “Trust me, you’re getting so much better. Just a few more nights and you’ll have enough experience to be allowed to touch me,” you offered.

His expression became softer, but he still looked hesitant, as he always did whenever you used your powers on him. 

“I can’t let just anyone touch me,” you continued. “You have to earn it, don’t you think?”

“...Earn it?” he echoed, dismally.

“And you’re almost there, pup. But you have to keep doing as I say, okay?”

He nodded slowly and automatically. “Okay…”

“Good pup,” you praised him, caressing his hip. “Now, we can continue–”

“Actually,” he interrupted, gently pushing your hands away. “I’m kinda tired. Can we call it a night?”

You opened your mouth dumbly. “I…uh–Sure…”

“Thanks,” he murmured. “I’ll drive you home after I take a shower, okay?”

“Okay…,” you agreed, watching him go into the bathroom and close the door.

You tried not to think too much about it, but for the next couple of days, it killed you to think that maybe he was getting bored of you. But how could it be? Didn’t he say he imprinted on you?

You didn’t want to commit to him, but you also didn’t want him to move on from you. 

So when you received a message from Chenle asking if you had some time to hang out you typed your answer so fast anyone who saw you would know you were desperate.

Oh, how the tables had turned.

He picked you up and took you to the hotel as usual. Things seemed to be going the usual way, but when you opened the door you saw that the entire place was gracefully illuminated with candles and there was food on the table.

“What’s all this?” You asked.

“Dinner,” he replied, walking you to the table.

“What’s with the candles?”

“I like candles.”

“Don’t you think it’s too… intimate?” You asked, pointing at the decoration vaguely.

Chenle pulled a chair out and made you sit down by pushing your shoulders firmly. 

“I’ve been inside you. It doesn’t get more intimate than that,” he deadpanned before walking around the table and sitting in front of you.

“Chenle, this looks like a date,” you pointed out.

“I guess it kinda does,” he admitted.

“That’s not part of the deal.”

“Oh? The deal won’t allow us to eat?”

“Not like this,” you said for a lack of better words to explain yourself. “It’s like you’re tricking me into dating you.”

“It’s just food and some wine. Don’t be dramatic,” he said before he started eating.

Hesitantly, you followed. He was right, it didn’t have to be romantic. You could do what you normally do after dinner. And the food was delicious! You enjoyed it so much that you lowered your guard and didn’t mind Chenle’s trivial questions about your life and the things you liked.

He looked more relaxed too after having a normal conversation with you and it made the atmosphere more enjoyable and sensual by the time you reached the bedroom, giggling as you undressed each other.

Chenle was in a great mood; teasing and joking as he climbed on top of you and kissed your face. He was also more obedient than usual letting you do as you pleased and waiting for your permission to touch you.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he laughed breathlessly, one hand by each side of your head to keep himself from crushing you while you pressed a bullet vibrator on the base of his cock.

“Good?” You teased, moving it up slowly until it reached the tip and then back to the base, making him moan shamelessly.

“Y-yeah,” he whispered, pecking your lips. “Everything m-‘my princess does f-feels amazing.”

Maybe the wine had taken its toll on you because you low-key liked that petname.

“Your princess?” You giggled, moving the small toy up and down deliberately. 

Chenle’s eyes rolled back in pleasure. “Mhmm, you like that? Y-you wanna be my pretty princess?”

You nodded dumbly, drunk in desire, wine, and—even though you didn’t want to see it—adoration.

“You c—aah…You c-can be my princess anytime, you k-know that, yeah?” He half-moaned, blindly thrusting against the tiny toy you used on him.

“Y-yeah?” You croaked, licking your lips.

“Myeah, and I’ve…mmm fuck right there,” he hissed when you pressed the vibrator right under the head. “I’ve b-been a good p-pup for you, right?”

You nodded. “The best,” you said before giving him a kiss that was a little bit more affectionate than intended.

“Don’t I des— haa… deserve a reward?” He pouted.

You giggled, turning up the intensity of the vibrations and making him whine desperately. 

“Oohh—oh g-god, princess —,” he knitted his brows in concentration, making the biggest effort to say something coherent. “I—aah… I actually wanted—ah!”

“What is it?” You asked, putting the toy away momentarily to not overstimulate the poor wolf and give him the chance to speak.

He took a few deep breaths and looked into your eyes with determination. “Go out with me.”

 You suddenly sobered up and your dreamy smile faltered.  “Chenle, no—“

“Why not?” He croaked. “We have such great chemistry when we spend time together like two normal people. Or did you hate having dinner with me that much?”

“Dinner with you was great,” you assured him. “But that wasn’t our deal.”

“Let’s change the deal,” he pleaded. 

“You said no strings attached,” you reminded him.

“No. You said that,” he accused.

“And you agreed.”

“I don’t know why I agreed!” He admitted. “Y/N, I—I don’t know why I keep saying those things; it makes no sense! I imprinted on you. I crave to be with you in every possible way, not just sexually. Can’t we at least try?” 

“Chenle,” you sighed, feeling terrible. You didn’t mean for things to go this far. You thought any man would be happy with a shallow sexual agreement, but apparently it wasn’t Chenle’s case. You would have to use your voice again. “You don’t really want—Hhmp!“

Chenle’s hand covered your mouth before you could finish speaking. “Don’t,” he begged. “You always say weird stuff and I end up agreeing like an idiot.”

You let out muffled sounds and hit his arms but he didn’t budge. He was terrified of what you would convince him of if he let you speak.

So you quickly grabbed the vibrator that lay forgotten on the bed, turned it on on the highest setting, and pressed it harshly against the leaking tip of his cock.

He gasped and lost his balance and you managed to uncover your mouth and quickly finish your sentence:  “You don’t want me!”

Chenle shook his head, distressed and trying to cover your mouth again, but you kept slapping his hand away while overstimulating his member. That, combined with the wine made his movements clumsy and inefficient. “P-please, d-don’t say tha—aaaah…”

“You don’t want to be with me. You only want me for sex,” you insisted and your voice almost broke when you saw Chenle’s saddening expression.

His imploring eyes finally turned into void ones, as expected when under a siren’s spell.  At the same time, his body tensed and he came with a silent scream, staring into your soul.

You finally turned the toy off and the room was silent.

Then a hot, wet drop landed on your face. You looked up and saw abundant tears coming out of Chenle’s expressionless eyes.

“Chenle?” 

“Yes?” He replied monotonously.

“Why are you crying?” 

He blinked slowly. “I don’t know.”

Your stomach dropped. He looked so calm in his own daze, unaware of how you kept dismissing his feelings. Ignorant of how you kept convincing him of things he didn’t want whenever he tried to connect with you.

Yet he was crying.

Oh no. You had broken him.

You couldn’t stop yourself from crying too.

“What’s wrong?” He asked you quietly.

“I’m so fucking sorry,” you sobbed. “I’m trash—no, I’m worse than trash.”

He hesitantly placed a hand on your back. “No. You’re perfect…,” he assured you, just like he had told his leader a long time ago. Even in his confused state, he couldn’t think of you being anything but perfect. 

You sobbed harder. He deserved better.

You cleaned him up and caressed his hair until he fell asleep. Then you sneaked out, feeling like you didn’t deserve to be around him.

Yeosang was right. You were selfish. 

So you knocked on his door to apologize.

When Yeosang opened the door, he looked very surprised to see you, but he was more concerned about why you were awake and crying at 4AM.

“Y/N?” He asked, grabbing your hand gently. “What’s wrong?”

“Selfish is putting it lightly,” you said.

“Huh?”

“You said I’m selfish. But the truth is worse than that. I’m a bad person, Sangie. You’re right to be disappointed.”

He brought you into his room and closed the door, sitting you on his bed as he kneeled in front of you. “What happened?”

You told him everything. From the first encounter at the bar to what had just happened at the hotel. 

Yeosang listened patiently, calming you down when your voice broke and encouraging you to go on when you sounded ashamed.

“Do you understand the problem now?” he asked.

You nodded, sobbing.

“People are not toys, Y/N.”

“I’m so s-sorry,” you whispered.

“I know. Recognizing your mistake is the first step,” he said, whipping your tears away with his thumb. “Now you need to fix things.”

“H-how?”

“By making a choice,” he confirmed what you were fearing. “Either you accept him–all of him, or you let him go.”

You nodded again. “That sucks.”

He chuckled. “It does,” he agreed, pulling you into a hug. 

“I missed you,” you admitted, resting your head on his shoulder.

“I missed you too,” he said, hugging you tighter. He licked his lips before speaking again. “Sorry for asking this, but… did he make you–”

“Sangie!” you groaned, knowing what he was referring to.

“I’m not being nosy,” he explained quickly. “I know it’s personal, but if I’m asking it’s because it’s important.”

“He d-didn’t make me cum…” you confessed, feeling your face heat up.

“Ever?” he pressed.

“It almost happened many times,” you explained shyly. “But I always managed to stop it.”

“That’s impressive. It’s been about two months,” he calculated.

“Yeah,” you groaned. “Impressive.”

“Remember what I told you about orgasms?” he asked you

“Yeah,” you sighed. “That’s why I kept stopping him before it happened.

“That’s good news. It means you’re not completely tied to him,” he hummed. “Look, I contacted an old friend of mine—a siren. She imprinted once but she and her mate…they just had very different lifestyles. Different goals. So they didn’t consummate the bond.”

“Consummate meaning…?”

“She didn’t reach climax with her potential partner,” he explained. “Both of them went separate ways and never saw each other again. And you know what? She found love again.”

You pulled away from the hug to give him a surprised look. “She imprinted again?”

“No, not exactly,” Yeosang shook his head softly. “Sirens only imprint once in a lifetime. But she met someone else who could make her happy. What I’m trying to say is that you will live a good life no matter what you decide. Even if the goddess Amphitrite chose this guy for you, you can choose to live without him. And you will be fine.”

You bit your lip, deep in thought. 

“Or if you want to stay with him–” Yeosang continued listing your options.

“No,” you whispered. “Not after the way I treated him. The most honorable thing to do is let him go so he can find a good partner.”

“Are you sure?” he asked hesitantly. “You could think it over–”

“No, Sangie…I’ve prolonged this long enough,” you gave him a sad smile. “The sooner I end this the better.”

Poor Chenle had no idea what transpired when he woke up alone in the same hotel room where he always met you, with a terrible hangover and missing you more than ever. He still hadn’t gotten used to the inexplicable emptiness in his chest that he felt every time he separated from you, but today it felt more haunting than usual. Not seeing you in the room made him question if you were ever there, or if you were just a product of Chenle’s imagination. Were you even real? Was he going crazy? 

Thankfully your message took him out of what could have become an anxiety attack. You wanted to meet.

You had never contacted him two days in a row before. But what he found even weirder was that you were asking him to meet during the day. You also told him he didn’t need to book the room, which he found funny, because he owned the hotel, but he omitted that detail.

He went to pick you up at around 5PM, like you had requested, and he was taken aback when you asked him to go on a walk with him instead. If he was in his shifted form, he would be wagging his tail contently at the mere suggestion of sharing such a wholesome moment with you, but human Chenle was good at pretending he didn’t care.

He was so over the moon that he didn’t find it weird when you engaged in small talk and asked trivial questions like how he had slept if he had eaten or what his plans for the weekend were. You never cared much for any interaction with him which wasn’t quick sex, so this was a pleasant surprise for him.

You stopped at the beach. The same deserted beach where Chenle often went when he needed some time alone.

“I love this view,” you commented absentmindedly. “The ocean is the only place that makes me feel at home.”

Chenle took mental note of that. He would make sure to buy a house with the most beautiful ocean view. 

He looked at you and stared in awe at how gorgeous you looked. He was sure it wasn’t the golden hour effect, because you always looked stunning to him.

You turned to look at him and caught him staring, so he cleared his throat and quickly looked away.

“Here,” he said, offering you a small shopping bag that he had been carrying.

“What’s this?” you asked curiously,  opening the bag and taking out a delicate velvet box.

“It’s…for you,” he said, barely audible.

You opened the box and gasped when you saw what was probably the most beautiful and elegant necklace in the whole world. “Why?” you breathed out.

“I just saw it and thought of you.” he shrugged, still speaking very softly, like he was exhausted. 

That was half true. He did choose it because he thought you would look ravishing.

The other reason was that he called Jaemin to ask him what that feeling of emptiness could mean, and he had theorized that it could be because he still hadn’t marked you. Since biting you was out of the question, Jaemin suggested he gave you a little token. It wouldn’t be as permanent as a mark, but his wolf surely would feel more at ease if he saw you carrying something of his. 

Only Chenle would see costly diamond jewelry  as tokens. 

He looked at you attentively, panicking at your sudden loss of words.

“If it doesn’t suit your taste–”

“Let’s end things,” you said.

Now it was Chenle’s turn to be speechless. 

“...W-what?” he asked weakly.

“I’ve been thinking about it and I think it’s for the best,” you explained, closing the box in your hand and putting it back in the bag, offering it back to him.

He glared at the bag offendedly. “No, it’s not!” he countered.

“Yes, it is,” you insisted, shaking the bag in your hand closer to him but he took a step back. “This isn’t working.”

“I’ll make it work,” he hissed. “You’re not fucking leaving me.”

“That’s not your choice–”

“Nothing has been my choice!” he yelled. “You’re always bossing me around and doing whatever you want but now it’s suddenly not working?! I didn’t put up with your shit for you to leave me like this–”

“See? You hate the way I treat you, so why do you want to keep this up?!” you asked, once again trying to make him grab the bag, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you towards him instead.

“Because I love you!” he growled. “And you know it, even if you play dumb. I know you see it in the way I look at you, I know you feel it in the way I touch you and I know you’ve heard me moan it when you have your way with me. Sometimes a weird voice in my head tells me that’s not true,and that what we have is just sex, but– that’s not my voice and—” he trailed off, trying to make sense of the opposing ideas he had in his head.  “Yeah, I hate how much of a bitch you are sometimes, but I won’t give up on us, you hear me?!”

You almost gave in. 

But you reminded yourself he deserved better. 

There was one way he may let you go without you having to use 

“I’m not happy with you, Chenle,” you said firmly.

His entire world came crashing down around him. He only reacted when he felt you trying to break free from his grasp. He tightened his hold on you. He was not going to let you go.

“Why not?” he breathed out.

“I’m just not,” you said, trying to keep the tears at bay. “I get nothing out of being with you.”

“I’ll change that. I’ll do anything you say–” he said, swallowing his pride.

“And then what?” you asked coldly. 

“Then we–,” Chenle looked around nervously, and licked his lips, looking for the right thing to say, anything that would make you stay. “We become w-whatever you want us to–”

“So you’re okay with me leaving with my crew when the time comes?” you rolled your eyes. “I’m not staying here, and you’re not coming with me–”

“I’ll go,” he said quickly, squeezing your arm so hard it hurt. “I’ll go wherever you want–”

“I don’t want you to come with me, Chenle, fuck!” you screamed. “I want you to leave me the fuck alone, okay?!”

He froze, finally relaxing his deadly grasp on your forearm. You pulled away carelessly, dropping the precious gift on the sand, and walked away.

Chenle stayed right there for who knows how long.

He doesn’t even remember dragging his feet to get back home while hugging the wrinkled paper bag close to his chest. All he knows is that at some point he was fully clothed under the bed covers, feeling that dreaded emptiness expand inside of him.

#nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #chenle #chenle x reader #chenle smut #chenle nct #chenle scenarios

[d34dlysinner]

I don’t know if this counts as a request, but what are some thoughts of the kings taking care of the pregnant MC? Or how would telling them the test came back positive

Sorry for the late answer!!!

Satan looked at you with a huge smile on his face when he heard the news. "It's about time", he said laughing as he gave you a tight hug. Satan would like some kids and he would love to give them the weirdest names he could think. At a certain point you had to stop him with the name picking because some of the names he thought of either seemed like titles or were too hard to pronounce. He would look forward to being able to do stuff with his child, but before that he gets very overprotective of you. He won't put you on a diet (unless you eat a lot of stuff that could harm the baby), but he will yell and kick anyone that gets to close to you. Paimon being excited hearing the news probably would want to hug you and congratulate you. Before he could even touch you Satan is in between the both of you saying. "Keep your excitement in check before you harm MC." He knows his nobles and he understands that they would never want to harm you, but he doesn't want to risk anything when you're in this state.

Mammon would shower you in gifts and affection. He's always there when you need something and at times he's there even when you don't need stuff. He would be excited as he gets baby toys and other stuff he think the baby would like. At a certain point he'd just return with a solid golden pacifier saying: "I used to like this when I was young. My child definitely would too." He sometimes base the things he buys from his own childhood, wanting his child to have the same things he had as a child.

When it comes to you and your entire pregnancy he would get you the best quality of everything you wanted. Food? He'd get it from a 5 star place or he'd let a amazing cook make it. You're tired? Mammon would just carry you the entire time. You want something to read or to do? Mammon would bring you all the stuff you need. He loves to spoil you and he would do rhe same for his child.

Beelzebub would look at you in disbelief. Almost as if he claimed to have used protection which at most times he doesn't. "What..?", he asked as you repeated: "I'm pregnant." Beel was thinking for a while, almost making you anxious as he walked over to you. All the fears washed away when he placed a kiss on your forehead. "I can't believe I'm going to be a dad.", he says chuckling. He would cook for both you and the child, making sure to not put anything too suspicious in his food. He doesn't want you to feel worse during your pregnancy. He will at times disappear but he'd always make sure you're left somewhere safe (with Bael) and he would make sure that the others would help you with food (not Bael). When he returns he brings little gifts for both you and the baby. You understand why he can't always be there so you're not angry, but having him leave at times does make you a little emotional when you want him at your side during these months.

(Extra: ... Beel would comment on your pregnant belly saying "its cute." He would notice every little change and fall in love with you again every time.)

Leviathan didn't really show a lot of expression. You'd almost think he's angry until he says "I see. That's good. Now you have to stay in Hades." He may seem a little cold but he's genuinely happy, just not always the best at showing how he feels. But you'd notice that during the evening he'd place a kiss on your forehead or on your hand. While sleeping he'd hold his hand over your stomach as if he's protecting the child.

During day you'd probably not see him too much since he takes his work very seriously, but he does send over flowers with a letter and other stuff. Foras would deliver them since he'd probably instantly hang anyone else who tried to hand over his gifts to you. When you do see him he starts asking questions like: "Did you eat?", "How do you feel?"

During the lasts months of the pregnancy he'd seem more invested with the child and you'd see a nursery being decorated for the child. He'd also throw names he'd like to give to his child during those months.

Lucifer stayed silent as he walks toward you. He wouldn't do much more than give you a kiss and a hug to reassure you that he wasn't disappointed with the news. He would have a small smile and that same smile would be plastered on his face anytime a conversation leads towards his unborn baby. He does love family and he wants one that would stay with him. Not that he doesn't appreciate his current family, but he's always happy to expand it.

He would force you to do check ups every week. Just to be sure that you're 100% okay. He'd also make sure you eat stuff that's been approved by him. Apart from that he doesn't do a lot more than taking care of you.

If there's danger he'd make sure you're safe. If you're tired he'd urge you to sleep a little longer. If you want to take a walk he'd make sure it's with someone near you.

He doesn't do a lot when it comes to decorating a nursery or searching names. "I'm okay with what you want to pick." Is what he would say.

(Extra: he would cry of happiness when holding his child for the first time. It may not be very noticeable but you'd notice.")

#whb #what in hell is bad #what in “hell” is bad? #whb asks #whb satan #whb leviathan #whb beel #whb mammon #whb lucifer

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 120

Part 1 Part 119

As finals loom ever-closer, Eddie comes to the startling realization that he’s never studied before. He’s not even sure he knows how, except by Barb and Carol’s strict instructions. It involves more notecards and tedium than he ever expected. 

He’d always thought that people were either good at school, or they struggled. He’d never considered that it was something you could practice. He almost wishes he’d never found out, but whenever he tries to skip out, Jeff gives him disappointed looks, and Steve’s hopeful smile is downright deadly. 

So, he shows up, and puts in the work – every tedious hour of it. 

It makes him nostalgic, almost, to being hunted by demogorgons. Sure, it’d been scary, and he’d felt himself unraveling more every day over there, but it’d been simple. There was no need to memorize the important dates of the rise and fall of Hitler. There was just survival.

But sometimes, he can still feel the way Steve’s blood had felt against his palms, all sticky and thick with dehydration. And he’ll settle back down in his seat, ankle hooked around Steve’s.

It’s hard. Maybe the hardest thing he’s ever done, but he shows up to every single final. He’s got a number two pencil courtesy of Wheeler, a scattering of answers courtesy of Barb, and a burning desire not to disappoint Steve. 

Because the system is broken, they order used caps and gowns before final grades have even been posted.

They order used caps and gowns, all while left on tenterhooks over ever getting to wear them. 

When he’s finally got the sealed envelope in his hands, he doesn’t open it right away. He just stares down at it, heart beating like a demodog’s on his heels until Steve finds him. 

The locker’s cold against his back, but Steve’s warm when he wraps his fingers around Eddie’s wrists and pulls him. That warmth still soothes something within Eddie. Even all these months later, some part of him expects Steve’s skin to be corpse-cold. 

The parking lot’s teeming with excited graduates as Steve pulls him out and through, but Steve doesn’t stop to join any of their celebrations. 

He lets go of Eddie’s wrist when he gets to the van. Eddie’s skin prickles at the loss until he opens the back door and bully’s Eddie in. Eddie falls sideways, still clutching the envelope as Steve crawls in behind him, partially on his lap as he twists to close the hatch. 

The cheering voices are muffled by two tons of shitty steel. Eddie sags down into the scratchy carpet and closes his eyes on a relieved sigh. 

Steve’s fingers clutch on his shoulders and haul him up, rearranging their bodies until Eddie feels his back pressed against the cool metal of the van’s wall. Steve’s weight leaves Eddie shuddering and surrounded, even more so when he feels Steve’s palms cradling both his cheeks.

“Look at me.” Eddie opens his eyes. Steve’s smiling down at him, small but real, eyes crinkling at the edges. Eddie’s breath shudders out of him. “What’s wrong?”

The envelope crinkles in Eddie’s fist. Steve’s gaze strays down to it, and he plucks it from Eddie’s grasp, holding it up and squinting like he’ll be able to read what’s written through all those layers of papered concealment.

“What if I don’t pass?” Eddie asks, thinking, you wanted this for me so bad, thinking, will you still love me if I can’t even do this right? Thinking, thinking, thinking.

Steve scoffs, punctuating his disdain by thwacking Eddie in the head with the envelope. “You will,” he says, resolute.

“But—”

“And it doesn’t matter if you do,” Steve interrupts. “We’ll all still love you.”

Eddie’s eyes well. He grabs Steve’s hand, squeezes it tenderly, then brings it down so he can bite the wrist hard enough that Steve drops the envelope with a gasp. Just to be an asshole, Eddie sucks on the bared skin until Steve’s eyes close against the sensation.

The skin is shiny with spit and red with burst blood vessels. Steve opens his eyes to stare down at it as Eddie caresses his handy work.

“Did you just give me a hickey?” he asks, eyebrow quirked, looking like he can’t figure out whether to be mad or find the whole thing funny.

Eddie smiles, licks the spot once before dropping the hand. Steve immediately raises it to poke at one of Eddie’s dimples. “Maybe.”

Steve snorts, muttering “freak,” as fondly as if it were a pet name. It lands in Eddie’s chest as one, warming him from the outside in. Steve reaches behind himself with his free hand, and for a second Eddie thinks he’s squeezing his own ass, but then he pulls a crumpled envelope of his own out of his back pocket.

“Wanna trade?” he asks, not waiting for Eddie to respond before thrusting it into Eddie’s chest and letting go, forcing Eddie to scramble to pick it up before it flutters into crevices unknown.

Eddie looks down at it, stroking Steve’s name reverently before turning it around to stare to the still-sealed flap. A tearing sound interrupts his reverie, and when he looks up, Steve’s already slid his pointer finger into the flap and carefully ripped it open.

The competitiveness of a Christmas morning hits him at the sight, and Eddie rips into his own envelope with ruthless abandon, accidentally tearing a bit of the corner on the page.

Eddie squints down at it in the dim light of the van. Steve had missed too many unexcused classes to get an A in much aside from phys. ed, but there’s a string of B’s and C’s staring back at him.

What’s the verdict?” Steve asks, sounding nonchalant.

Eddie immediately begins folding it into a half-assed airplane, tossing it into the front seat before Steve can stop him. Steve thwacks Eddie’s now opened report card against Eddie’s chest and glares down at him.

“Passed,” Eddie replies absently, all brain functions now centered on staring at the back of the paper in Steve’s hands and trying to see through it.

Steve fist bumps, a quiet little celebration for a thing that never seemed like it would happen. If not because of poor grades, then for sudden onset death.

“What about me?” Eddie whispers, barely loud enough to carry to Steve, even with the stagnant air between them. “Did I…?”

Because he’s fundamentally the same kind of asshole Eddie is, Steve takes the time to turn Eddie’s own report card into a much sturdier airplane. He winds it up like he’s holding a sportsball, then flicks his wrist, sending the airplane flying with enough force that it connects solidly with the windshield of Eddie’s van before crumpling and crashing into places unknown.

“Steve,” Eddie whines, gaze locked to the last place he’d seen his future in the shape of a paper airplane. “Tell me!”

Steve grabs his cheeks again, squishing them uncomfortably as he forces Eddie to meet his eyes. “We’re walking, fucker,” he says, eyes downright twinkling as he leans down to kiss Eddie’s slack mouth.

His lips are warm and soft and wanting, but for once, Eddie barely notices. His mind’s spinning on its little hamster wheel, trying to make his brain connect why they’re walking, and where they’re going.

Steve pulls back before Eddie ever moves his own lips, beaming down at Eddie as he says, “you did it.”

Eddie looks up at him, connections clicking into place. “I passed?”

“We’re getting out of here,” Steve says, still cupping Eddie’s face a little too hard, fingernails clutching at the sides of his head.

Eddie doesn’t care. Steve can make him bleed for all he wants. They’re done. They’ve pass, no more school, no more studying, no more petty fucking jocks trying to cause problems.

Eddie screams a little, high pitched and cut off and lodged part way in his throat. He must look a little unhinged, but Steve just laughs and leans forward enough to bury his face in Eddie’s neck.

He wraps his arms around Steve’s waist, rocking them back and forth wildly, too full of frenetic energy to keep still. Steve just lets him, bites him back a bit when he gets too rowdy.

The light’s changed a bit by the time Steve asks, “Wanna go tell Wayne?”

Eddie stands before he even thinks, sending Steve tumbling off his lap, and hitting his own head against the roof of the van painfully. He barely even pauses in his mad scramble, trip, dash to the driver’s seat.

He needs to make that old man cry, and he knows just how to do it.

#steve harrington #steddie #eddie munson #my fic #steddie upsidedown au #Eddie's always like. How do I make myself less HINGED. there are no doors left. and then he bites

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! I wanted to make a character who wears an eyepatch, but I don't know how to make it, exactly? And I thought you may know

I've read that the most common reasons to wear eyepatches are generally temporary, wich it's not what I wanted. I thought maybe he was really sensitive to light in one eye and chose to wear an eyepatch rather than sunglasses, but I've also read that may deteriorate the vision in that eye? (Maybe he's blind in that eye too and he's not worried about it?)

If not that I've read that they are used to hide a missing eye, a lazy eye or something else, but that it was more used in the past bc medicine wasn't as good, and nowadays most of that can be changed with surgery or a prosthetic eye, wich... I don't know why he wouldn't have?

Also, all of this was found via google, and I couldn't find any first-person experience (?) Like - I've found a lot of youtube videos, reddit forums and tumblr users from blind people to ask and learn about my other blind characters, but I couldn't for this? Maybe they're not really used anymore??

I'm not sure if you know but I had to ask - Maybe you know of somewhere I could read more about it?

(Also sorry fot any mistakes or confusing wording, english isn't my first language)

Hi! Your ask is very clear, don't worry :-)

Eyepatches can be used long-term to treat amblyopia, help someone who has unilateral photophobia, or be used by those who have double vision to help with visual tasks (I do that with my "DIY eyepatch", aka closing the one eye I have actual eyelid control over). Photophobia could be a result of a bunch of things, my bilateral one happened as a side effect of nerve surgery. There's too many ocular conditions to list, probably. Permanent double vision is usually caused by brain or nerve damage, like in my case, or an autoimmune condition like myasthenia gravis. With that said, eyepatches among all of the above are still a rarity. For all the time I spent in eye clinics since I was a baby, I have never personally met anyone who would wear one permanently into adulthood - many wore it only as children, or only around the time of surgery (like I also did), etc. Modern medicine simply has better options.

They are rarely used for missing eyes as well, other solutions (prosthetic eyes, conformers) are more common. An empty eye socket isn't ideal a lot of the time.

It's rather hard to find first-person resources for eyepatch usage because it's simply rare. I looked through some of our resources and while we had multiple for prosthetic eyes or similar, nothing for eyepatches, so I can't help with that, unfortunately.

Important thing about eyepatches is that they're not used 24/7! People take them off sometimes. Depending on why he uses it, you might be interested in this (if he's blind) or this (if he has a facial difference) post. Also think of the reason he wears it outside of just the eyepatch; does he need medication, eye drops, does he get headaches, etc.? Remember that it shouldn't just be an aesthetic and it should cause other symptoms too.

I hope this helps!

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #creativeghost #disabled character ideas

[feroluce]

NO OK BUT I'M STILL NOT OVER BOOTHILL AND DAN HENG AND THE JADE ABACUS IN ENA'S DREAM!!!!!

For some extra context, I have a whole henghill manifesto I wrote over here, but the tl;dr is that Dan Heng decides to use the Jade Abacus of Allying Oath to save the Express Crew the first time. Boothill urges him to think it over carefully, but he doesn't stop him. And then, the second time Dan Heng decides to use it, we get this instead:

And just! That's so!! so!!!

Because like. We see in the first battle against Sunday that that Jade Abacus is effective, like we really do just get an entire army lead by a whole-ass Emanator of The Hunt right to our location and ready to fuck shit up. It's important. It's incredibly valuable. That is a huge amount of power to hold in the palm of one's hand.

But Tiernan's relic works the same way.

Galaxy Rangers are terribly dangerous. Boothill comments on this when discussing Acheron's motives, because he can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to get The Hunt on their asses. They're considered to be on a level even above The Annihilation Gang.

And now, with the burial relic, he has a way to get thousands of them, almost immediately, and all in one place.

And you can't tell me that wouldn't be something extremely useful to Boothill, like literally life-saving. He's wanted by the IPC. He makes his living as a bounty hunter. His whole driving motivation in life right now is to do whatever he can, up to and including throwing away his own human body, to ruthlessly hunt down one man and kill him in revenge. Like that has to be dangerous, the IPC is a massive entity with far-reaching influence and money and power and weaponry. He surely must have already had some close calls.

Like can you imagine it? Galaxy Rangers are solitary creatures. If Boothill were to find himself near death, he would probably be all alone. Do you think he had regrets? Did he wonder if anyone would find his own burial relic? Did it feel the same way it did when they melted his flesh, replaced it with metal? Did he lay there with his vision slowly blacking out until he thought of home, and family, and the little daughter who he never even got to hear her first word, until he was so full of fury that he could prop himself up on his rage like a crutch and find help?

Tiernan's relic would have been like a get-out-of-jail-free card. Just for one time, no matter where Boothill was, someone would find him. The Galaxy Rangers aren't sociable or organized between themselves, but they help their own. Someone would save him.

He chooses to give all of that up to help Dan Heng.

And I just cannot get over it, especially the wording of it, the pause before he speaks, the gentle way he tells him to hold onto his once-in-a-lifetime treasure...!! He wants Dan Heng to leave this to him! He wants him to keep this precious item that will help him save his companions again in the future! And maybe it's just...wishful thinking, me reading too much into it? But I mean. Just the way he says it...

I really do think it comes from a place of deep kinship and respect. That there's a lot of thought and feeling behind that statement. Something from one Pathstrider of The Hunt to another. Boothill fought for his home and his family, he fought really really hard! But. Sometimes that just doesn't matter. And now he's watching Dan Heng fight for his, too.

When he made that decision the first time, Dan Heng was in the parlor car of the Astral Express. He was completely removed from any danger. He could have chosen to get the hell out of Dodge and not look back. Obviously we know he would never even consider such a thing, but it was technically an option, and Boothill watched him decide to go back into the proverbial lion's den for his friends anyway. And I'm sure that was part of what sealed his decision, to later use Tiernan's relic instead of the Jade Abacus to summon enough people to disrupt Ena's Dream. Because he greatly values ideas like righteousness and justice and saving people, and Dan Heng so beautifully embodies all of that and then some.

Boothill doesn't have people to protect anymore, only ghosts to avenge.

And there is just something so endlessly endearing about him wanting to help Dan Heng, to make sure his friend doesn't go through that the way he did.

#honkai star rail #henghill #boothill #dan heng #hsr #hsr boothill #hsr dan heng #bootheng #I feel like I'm just repeating myself a bunch and not saying anything orz #spinning my tires #do you get me. do you feel me. #do you understand my vision #does the blood in your mouth taste the same as mine. #I'm frothing at the mouth over here Hoyo how dare you get me so into a ship OTL #there are few things that get me in the heart so hard as 'character loses everything and uses it to make sure no one else goes through that #just #ARGH #Because Dan Heng has suffered so much in his life but it's never been this specific kind of loss. #He never had any kind of family to lose in the first place. He didn't until Himeko took him in. #But Boothill has been through all that and it sucked and he already really likes and relates to Dan Heng. #they're like two goofy little peas in a pod haha #so of course he wants to protect him #How could his heart not be swayed by him?

[rascalentertainments]

Wish Granted: The Startosphere 🌙🌠🌌

Since Star will be coming in chapter 3, I thought it'd be a good time to talk about Star's home, which is The Startosphere!

In this special space, its located in a cosmic space between the the mesosphere and thermosphere. In this space, millions of stars travel across the galaxy as nomads. They go around seeing different nebula formations, constellations and other wonders of the galaxy! All of the star people have cosmic power, but its never been used to the extent of actually changing their own form, let alone turning into animals or a human.

They don't have solid forms, and since there's no gravity, the star people sort of glide across space. Their outer appearance look like human people, but they're outlined like constellations with a blue, white or yellow tint. (See this Helluva Boss GIF below as an example.) Like when a person draws an animation test for a character's movements.

It can however, be a lonely life. Especially for our Star(boy). See, Star has a family. A big one in fact, but he hasn't seen them in years. And because stars are nomadic, its hard for him to make friends. He could be pals with one, but the next day he won't find them again. So he just wanders by himself, even though there are plenty stars around.

Many of the star people can see Earth from afar, but none of them have ever visited the planet itself. The stars just admire it from afar and go on about their business. Star however, was fascinated by Earth from the start and dreamed of going down there and meet the humans who all looked fun to him. He could spend hours watching them below, go away somewhere else, but always come back to Earth as if something there pulled him in like some kind of wind.

When stars reach 18 years of age, and they can pick their own names to go by. Sometimes they get them from the humans, and other times they create their own. Our Star hasn't chosen a name for himself yet, so Asha nicknames him "Star" to make things easier. Though after the adventure is over, he just might have an idea of what to call himself...

Normally, stars can't grant wishes, that's a human belief. However, Star creates his own way to do it: Going right down to Earth and helping Asha however he can. Lastly, there are a few star nomads who heard rumors of a star with more power than any other in the galaxy. One so powerful, they could grant wishes to not only humans, but other stars. But none of them have actually seen this so called "Wishing Star".

Star nomads can hear humans, but only when they pay attention to Earth. Most of the time they're too busy looking for the next exciting thing, so Earth just doesn't hold their attention like it does for our Star. However, there is one human that ends up catching his attention the most, through beautiful singing...

In the Wishverse, Star is excited to meet other Starboys because not only have their been others who've been to Earth, but now he can make Star friends and he knows he can see them again, no matter how long it's been. Not only does he gain Earth friends, now he has star friends too. He couldn't be happier. 😁⭐ (Plus he loves to hang with Suñeo and Cielo the most, surprisingly)

Hope you enjoyed this little worldbuilding here. Like I said, this is my first fantasy story. I mostly write and watch media that are sci-fi, superhero, and action. I do like fantasy, but there usually has to be a twist on it to get me invested, and Wish's concept was one of them! So I took the sci-fi part I know and used it to create this system for the star nomads. More will be revealed as the story goes on, so I hope you continue to read Wish Granted as it unfolds!

Stay awesome! 😉

@uva124 @oh-shtars @signed-sapphire @chillwildwave @tumblingdownthefoxden

@annymation @spectator-zee @lazytitans-world @kenihewa

@mythartist21 @gracebeth3604 @flicklikesstuff @emptyblog7

#rascal entertainments #wish granted #wish granted au #wish concept art #wish 2023 #wish reimagined #wish rewrite #disney #wish movie #disney wish #backstory #wish au #wish star #asha x star #Starboy #Wish Starboy

[ikamigami]

THE CYCLE OF TRAUMA

In this post I'll try to explain how Sun is trapped in a cycle of trauma and I'll try to answer the question whether he can escape it or not and how he can escape it if it's possible.

I think that I know the answer to why Sun is often pushed aside and doesn't even feel like MC in Sun and Moon Show sometimes.. it's because the show is telling two stories.

One story is the one that we see. The one which follows mostly what happens with Moon because Moon does more things than Sun. Sun is doing his own things in the background. Or he's a gag character in most of funny lore episodes. This story is the surface level of watching it and seeing the obvious parallels between events.

It's not a bad way to engage with the show but it's more like watching MCU - easy story to follow with foreshadowing, payoffs and parallels.

But there's also a second story.. a story hidden in details and subtle hints and lines which are echoes of the past events.. and the main character of this story is Sun who is a traumatised victim of abuse.

This is more deep reading of events in the show - we could say it's meta interpretation of it.

I'm not going to lie to you that I found it weird and a bit repulsive how awfully Sun is treated as a victim of abuse.. because his trauma was never addressed properly - Sun could never talk openly about what happened to him and no one even helped him with that.. sometimes they didn't even want to listen to him..

I didn't want to accept that Sun healed off-screen or just even got better off-screen because of how much he went through and things like that just don't magically disappear.. all this trauma couldn't just disappear.. especially if Sun never had a break. His life is traumatising event after traumatising event after traumatising event..

"Stop! How can you say that Sun didn't have a break when he literally did while Solar and Moon took care of everything?" you're probably asking this right now. And my answer is: yes, you're right, Sun literally had a break. Literally - a surface level of watching show.. a story that we see..? You probably don't know what I'm trying to say. But this is exactly why I'm making this post.

Today's episode helped me realize that what's happening right now is just another face of Sun's trauma.

Moon is not only acting similarly to Old Moon but he even tried to guilt-trip Sun and he minimized his trauma by mocking it which was the exact same thing Old Moon was doing during their fights.

Moon even said that only after two years Sun was able to grow a spine to stand up to Moon.. doesn't it sound familiar?

Old Moon said during one of their fights that Sun shouldn't apologize for yelling at him because he shouldn't apologize for having a spine.. hmm.. it's obvious parallel yet it's a reverse one.

Old Moon was trying to make Sun stand up for himself in abusive way.

Now Moon is trying to squash Sun's confidence by laughing at Sun's efforts of trying to stand up for himself which essentially mocks Sun's trauma.

And later when I was watching mgafs episode it dawned on me. Sun went to Monty for help when Moon is dangerous.. doesn't it sound familiar?

The last time Sun went to Monty for help was when kill code reactivated in Old Moon.. but before that Sun went to Monty for help when Lunar was pretending to be Old Moon and they couldn't switch places.

But who told Sun to go to Monty for help if situation with Moon would be too much to handle for Sun? Old Moon.

It seems that Old Moon's words still have an impact on Sun.

But there's more.. Sun locked Moon in a cell just like Old Moon did to him a year ago. Sun decided to use shocks to keep Moon from doing something stupid and harming himself.

It really seems that Sun was influenced by Old Moon's actions.

But also the only helpful thing that Sun knows is talking to Earth because Earth was the one who helped him back then.. so if Earth's words didn't help Moon what else can?

Old Moon never listened to Sun and now Moon also doesn't listen to him. So what left?

He went to Monty for help but it turned out that Monty can't help. Monty's words don't work anymore with Moon like they used to with Old Moon. Monty and Foxy's only solution is to forcefully snap Moon out of it by endangering Sun at expense of Bloodmoon's life cause who cares about Bloodmoon..

So the only answer is violence. But if you think about it Sun's life is filled with violence to the brim. Old Moon used to solve their every problem with violence. New Moon also tried to solve their every problem by killing whoever he deemed an enemy.

Sun tried to talk with Eclipse but it didn't work. The only thing that left was to expell him from his head which was a death of OG Eclipse.

He tried to warn Bloodmoon. It didn't work and he killed them in self-defence.

He tried to listen to V2 Eclipse (Eclipse with the star) but Eclipse could only threaten them and told them to kill Lunar. So the only thing that left was to push Eclipse through the portal and Moon killed him.

He tried to talk to New Bloodmoon but it didn't work either and the only thing that left once again was violence.

He convinced Moon to help Ruin which turned out to be Solar's and trillions of others' lives doom. So what left? They had to lock Ruin but it created more problems - Molten trying to kill him and now Ruin is once again working with Bloodmoon and we can only imagine that they're up to no good. So they'd most definitely have to use violence.

Sun tried to resolve things differently. He tried to help. But none of this worked. His help only made things worse. And everyone's answer seem to be only violence.. violence violence violence violence violence violence violence..

So it's not surprising at all that Sun is doing what Old Moon taught him. Even if it isn't what Sun wants. And the worse thing is that now others are trying to force him to make a decision that will have an impact on everything. It'll either work and things will get better or it won't and everything will get worse.

You may say that Sun has Earth and Lunar as a support. But while it is true that he still has them they already expressed that they don't want to help. And let's be honest, neither Earth nor Lunar did much to help Sun with his trauma. They aknowledged it but that's it. Lunar never talked about it with Sun. And the only thing Earth did was apologizing to Sun for making him sad by mentioning Old Moon's death because she knows how hard it is for him.

But it isn't what Sun needs. He needs help. You may say "why he doesn't talk to them about his trauma?" The thing is he tried. But when he needed help the most - after Old Moon's death - they told him to move on or Moon straight up yelled at him for just simply mentioning Old Moon.

So it's not surprising that Sun doesn't try to open up about it anymore. Because he learned that it's better not to do that. And that's why he thinks that his issues are less important than others' problems. Because no one cared to help him. But because Sun knows that they love him so there's only one reason why they didn't help him. And this reason is that his issues aren't that much of a big deal. Why should he bother others with his issues when others don't seem to care that much? They probably don't care that much because these issues aren't real problems.. I bet that this is what Sun thinks about that.

Let's get back to the main topic of this post. Sun is trapped in a cycle of trauma. From the beginning of his existence the only thing he knows is trauma. First with Old Moon who abused him physically, mentally and emotionally. Later Old Moon promised to change yet he left Eclipse in Sun's head which created another trauma for Sun and Old Moon didn't stop being abusive. Later when they thought that they defeated Eclipse another problem appeared - Bloodmoon. But it wasn't enough because it turned out that there's new Eclipse who activated Old Moon's kill code reopening Sun's trauma.

Eventually Sun's already poor mental state worsened even more and he experienced psychotic episode. And what others did at that time? They abandoned Sun and because he was too detached from reality he wasn't able to stop himself. And in such state he did things that he regrets. But even if he regrets them he can't do anything about it. He has to live with consequences of his actions even if he wasn't at fault for neither Old Moon's nor Lunar's death. But it only deepened his trauma.

At that point Sun thought that the only solution is to die hoping for fresh start like Moon had. Hence why he decided to be conduit for star's power and tried to sacrifice himself. Thankfully he survived and Eclipse was gone. Things seemed to get better. Unfortunately Sun's family didn't help him with his trauma at that time. Even if it was the best time to adress his issues considering that he was still suicidal back then.

Though Ruin already was a threat. After all he kidnapped Sun and the way Moon dealt with it wasn't the best - reminding Sun of his trauma once again. Yet back then Ruin's threat seemed so distant. Until he decided to bring Bloodmoon back. And also Solar's appearing disrupted dynamics in the family regardless of this being unintentional. Then Ruin blew up the Daycare and Sun and Moon were sent to Ruin's dimension.

And even if later things seemed to get better once again it wasn't long before Bloodmoon completely mauled Earth's body and they had to deal with them and also Stitchwraith threatened that if they'll try to interfere he will do worse things then simply kidnapping Earth.

At that time Sun seemed very distanced from everyone. He had serious memory issues and he wasn't answering any messages and calls. It didn't seem good.

And then Eclipse returned once again. And we all of a sudden found out that Sun was feeling great until Eclipse's return.. it doesn't add up.

And later Sun decided to leave everything to Moon and Solar to deal with while he was spending time alone in their house, drinking wine and relaxing with his cats.. and he seemingly got better. He just needed a break.

It doesn't make much sense when you consider everything Sun went through. Yes, on surface level Sun seems to be doing much better and break helped him.. but is it actually true?

If we look at it deeper through lense of a story of very traumatised victim of abuse.. it seems that this was Sun's another attempt at breaking the cycle of trauma. The first attempt was sacrificing himself. Second was to try and avoid getting engaged with anything. After all when he tried to help everything got worse. So he naturally tried to do the opposite.. which turned out even worse.

Solar died because of Ruin's plan and he wouldn't be able to do it if it wasn't for Sun convincing Moon to help him. Moon is now losing his mind because of Solar's death and like Sun said he wishes that he said more to Moon when he had mental breakdown. And now Moon is acting worse than Old Moon and Sun is basically reliving his trauma. Sun is trying his best to keep his family together but is he actually able to do that?

You may think that he is.. but when you consider Sun's mental state - depressive psychosis and delusions centered around guilt and unworthiness making Sun feel like he's the one who is bad.. it doesn't seem likely.

You can disagree with me but there's plenty of evidence that support my claim. Also Moon told Sun that he has a little bit of Eclipse in him still.. and not so long ago Eclipse told Sun that he would make a good Eclipse when this is exactly what Sun was afraid of a year ago. And Lunar back then told him that he's acting exactly like Eclipse.

I'm pretty sure that it's affecting Sun. As much as he tries to say otherwise. That Moon's words doesn't have any impact on him anymore. It's not true. After all, we can still see how much Old Moon's words affected him.

Having all of this in mind, I wouldn't be surprised if Sun ended up blaming himself for what happened. Also considering that things will get worse soon. After all, Taurus is after Lunar and he'll either execute them immediately or put them to test.. which probably won't be anything nice. And Earth is hiding that she's friends with Eclipse and she trusts him more than her family because she tells Eclipse things that she wouldn't say to them. And who knows what Ruin and BM will do. And lastly.. Sun will find out soon that Dazzle is victim of July 16th incident. It doesn't look too good for him.

Even if Sun keeps going for his family. Will he be able to take more of this?

I don't think so. Because why then showrunners didn't let things to get better even if a bit? Why everything seems to get worse?

But is there a way for Sun to escape the cycle of trauma? He tried to sacrifice himself which even if it'd ended with him being dead he still would do something good, right? He'd protect his family. He tried to distance himself from everything to not make things worse with his help. But it ended up making everything even worse. So is there any option left for Sun to break the cycle?

Yes, the help of others. Unfortunately it doesn't seem likely. Even now when Sun is clearly suffering he still chose not to talk about his own feelings but focused on Moon. Even when he's hurting so much that Monty and Foxy found Sun crouching outside Monty's house. Yet he didn't say anything. And what they did to help him? They told him that he needs to make a decision that he isn't capable to make in the state he is right now.

But what about Earth and Lunar? Like I said Lunar will have a much more concerning problem soon enough. And when Sun will find out about Earth's secret.. I doubt he'll trust her to talk about his own issues. You may say that he can change his mind about Eclipse. Maybe normally he could but not now. Not when he's reliving his trauma and his mental state is threatening to worsen. Sun isn't in any condition to deal with his own issues with Eclipse unless Eclipse will surprisingly not insult Sun and will be able to convince him that he wants to help. But Sun isn't in the right state of mind to deal with it, to rethink everything between the two of them and try to forget about trauma Eclipse caused him and his family.

And when Sun will learn the truth about Dazzle.. I wouldn't be surprised if it'll be a final straw for him.

So what else left? How can break the cycle? The answer is he can't. He could with a help of his family but it really seems not to be an option.

Though there's one thing that will stop the cycle of trauma once and for all. And it's death. You may say that Sun already tried to do that. Yes but also no. Back then Sun thought that he'll be lucky if he get reset and if not he'll at least sacrifice himself to protect his family.

But what about now? There's a plan to put Sun in dangerous situation that will cause Sun harm in order to snap Moon out of the state he's in. But if it won't work Moon will kill Bloodmoon and then I doubt that he'll stop at that. And then what?

This plan is messed up because no one can be sure if it'll work and there are very high chances that Moon's mental state will worsen either way. I bet that Sun will try to help no matter what.

Edit: I forgot to mention that Foxy wanted Sun to decide when he'll say enough is enough and he let them kill Moon which isn't an option for Sun - imagine keep going with this in mind that the life of your brother depends on your decision.

But when things will get worse will he be able to keep going? After all he wasn't able to help anyone, to stop anyone, to comfort anyone.. he tried everything yet things only got worse. And because of Sun's mental issues I'm pretty sure that he'll blame himself for everything. So even if Sun will still have Earth and Lunar (maybe).. can he be sure that his decisions won't end up harming the rest of his family?

I wouldn't be surprised if Sun will consider taking his own life as an answer to how stop this madness. If he thinks that all of this is his fault and he even expressed that himself that he was wondering if it'd be better if Moon and him never separated.. and even if Sun went to dimension where they separated but Eclipse never happened and they seem to have happy lives. That Moon didn't help Sun that much and even if he said that deep down Moon still cares.. now Sun learned that it isn't true. Sun can't handle this anymore.

Sun's mental state seems to be not good but considering what is about to happen it'll only get worse. I doubt that Sun will be able to think it through and stop himself from doing it while everything around him is collapsing and he thinks that it's all because of him..

I won't say that he'll succeed because there's high chance that someone will stop him or even if he'll attempt it he may end up heavily injured or in a coma and not dead dead.

But seeing how showrunners keep making things harder and worse for Sun and knowing that Davis wanted to include topic of suicide but previously received backlash for that though it seems that the issue either got resolved or they decided to implement it anyway it seems highly likely that Sun may try to kill himself.

I'm not saying that he'll do that but this is just my hypothesis based on the analysis of events in the show and meta analysis of Sun's character and that his character represents a story of traumatised victim of abuse. I'd rather have them addressing it even if it'd mean that Sun will attempt suicide then them completely ignoring it showing viewers that "screw victims of abuse".

We may argue about whether VAs are doing good job with portraying this things in the show but I don't want to immediately say that there's no hope and that they just don't care about the fact that they made Sun to be a victim of abuse.

I'm trying to be positive about this and I hope that Sun's trauma eventually will be addressed. I'm trying to trust the process. Maybe I'm a fool for doing so but whatever. I don't care about it.

#sun and moon show #sams #sams sun #sun and moon show sun #sams moon #sams eclipse #sams solar #sams bloodmoon #sams killcode #sams kc #tw trauma #tw abuse #tw mental health #tw psychotic episode #laes lunar #laes earth #mgafs monty #mgafs foxy #sams spoilers #tw suicide #tw self harm #tw murder #also if it turned out that moon is in fact infected with ruin's virus and that's why he act like that #it'll be a continuation of moon doing bad things because of some malicious code #it'd be a parallel but also it'll strengthen sun's feelings of hopelessness #that everything always repeats everything always end up the same and he can't escape this cycle #i hope that i didn't forget about anything in the post or in the tags #and sorry for any mistakes cause english isn't my native language

[rocksibblingsau]

"Death is tragic, but sometimes living can be so much worse."

So..... same anon that send the rant ask that this come from and I just have to say how good this is. Like unbelievably so and everything from your response as well, I cant say this enough I love your writing and how you interpret trolls and their world

Honestly, you're so right that they likely had that "hes in a better place now" (pun not intended), it fits so well with what we know about pop trolls mentality and life-style. The same trolls that erased and forgotten everyone that was lost during the escape, including the heir, would also accept a little brother as dead and go on without checking so they can better ignore the grief of losing him. Thinking about it, thats a way better and in-character reason why Floyd never came back

People say that he was out partying or he forgor or whatever, but the thought that some 3-5 years later he stopped to think and realized "oh... hes probably dead by now", and now having to choose between confirming the "reality" that his brother died waiting for him or just moving forward, be happy and never think about things that upset you (that just pop trolls second nature at this point)

There is a part of me that still wants to write Brozone facing that grief either by having to save Floyd without him or reuniting some other way, now with the added against of "everybody including you forgot your brother ever existed, isn't that fun!". Thinking about it, I may even write that Branch died in the woods or something instead of the bergens. He didn't die because they left him in the tree, he died because they never came back for him. And the same mentality that "helped" them "grief" (read: ignore) his supposed dead is the same mentality that caused the pop village to ignore and ostracize him (that being what actually killed him). Tragic, gut-punching, hope they surfer and cry about it :)

But for my actual headcanon of the brothers mentally during those 20 years, I can only imagine your view of the situation is just that good and accurate. Thank you for entertaining my thoughts and sorry for the rambles lol

Thank you! I love overanalyzing things, and Trolls is a very fun subject to work with!

It's very in line with Pop mentality to just accept that and move on. Bruce especially lives on Vacay Island where "every day is a vacay". I could see a bit of that mentality existing there. Maybe not the 'sugar coat everything in glitter' degree but 'why worry?' type of ignore your problems.

Branch dying on his own rather than in the tree I think is a way more terrifying reality. Hundreds of Pop Trolls were eaten, and that's seen as the Bergens fault. Branch getting injured and having no one to check in on him so he passes is on the village. It's been mentioned in Rock Sibblings but the fact is, that was a reality Branch faced. Poppy likely would've come by EVENTUALLY but she was younger than him.

In Rock Sibblings the truth is if not for Poppy deciding to follow after him, no one would have ever known what happened to Branch. In Techno Branch and Classical Branch, no one actually does until 15ish years later.

With his brothers, it's sad to say that with an alive Branch, there's very little that could have them initially realizing that Branch is hurt. I mean look at him in Trolls Band Together. He's not fully grey but he's very drastically darker than they all are despite initially all having the same skin tone. Yet none of them react or mention it. They're fine to ignore the situation at hand.

Never apologize for rambles. That's what we do here.

#sibblings qna #sibblings au #trolls branch #brozone

[missmoonfrost]

Should have known better - a wolfstar short fic

Written for the prompt: Forget by @wolfstarmicrofic Sometimes a supposed-to-be microfic ends up ~ 1500 words. Sue me🤷‍♀️ Warnings: Alcohol, miscommunication

Remus should have known better, he really should. But here he was, unwillingly waking up to painfully sharp sunbeams and jarring whispers. Judging from the conversation none of them were feeling their best. No one else seemed to have a bed that refused to stop spinning, though.

“You ok, Moony?”

Sirius' gentle voice warmed him, but Remus didn’t answer. Chances were, if he had tried it had only been a whimper.

The curtains opened and Remus caught a glimpse of Sirius' ever-flawless black hair. He curled up and covered himself entirely with the blanket. Sirius of anyone could not see him like this.

“Want to join us for breakfast?”

“No.”

“Want me to bring something for you?”

“No, thanks.”

Remus should have known better than to have accepted that glass from Sirius' hand last night. He had been dizzy already from spending the night looking wistfully at Sirius and drinking butterbeer after butterbeer to avoid the dancefloor. But Sirius had smiled at him with that smile and looked at him with those eyes and he hadn’t stood a chance. He remembers the taste herby, slightly bitter and strong. He would have known it was something Sirius had mixed, even if he hadn't told him.

After that things had been going downhill fast. He remembered actually getting on the dancefloor, something he never thought he would dare to do. He remembered people swirling around him. Or was it he who had been swirling? He remembered being on the floor, crawling on all fours. He remembered leaning against a wall. He remembered Sirius had come to sit beside him, at least for a while. He couldn’t quite recall what he had been saying, but Sirius had looked at him, talked to him, laughed at him, and shook his head at him. His face had been so beautiful. So enchanting in the mess of moving people and blinking lights.

With the others gone for breakfast, Remus drifted off into an uneasy sleep. When he woke up again, he was feeling a little bit better. He didn’t dare try eating yet, but unsteadily got up, washed off, brushed his teeth, and put on some clean clothes. He went back to bed and picked up a book, but soon put it down again. His head hurt just from reading. It really was that bad.

As soon as he closed his eyes, he could hear the others stomping up the stairs and speaking loudly. There was the usual shoulder buffing, bragging, and bickering. Remus kept the curtains open, listening. He wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway. Against his will, he felt himself smile as he saw James mimicking the silly dance Peter made up yesterday. Sirius sarcastically praised what an excellent dancer James had become as the night moved on, namely tipping over a table in his deed.

“You seem to have cheered up,” James smiled as Remus let out a quiet laugh. “How much of the evening do you even remember?”

“Did I tip over a table too?”

Considering how much he had to drink nothing would surprise him. Truth was the end of the evening was rather blurry.

“Not that I reckon.”

The words didn’t comfort Remus at all as James just grinned bigger. Something ought to have happened. Peter also turned to him with great interest.

“Remember who you danced with?”

“Eh… Mary at the charade game, if that counts. Lily in the beginning.”

“And after that?”

“I don’t know.”

Remus felt his heart pound. He didn’t know. Had he made a complete fool of himself? Probably.

“Stop it, guys.” Sirius came to Remus' rescue, as always.

“No, no.” James continued regardless, “Who did you kiss?”

Kiss? He had kissed someone? All he could muster as an answer was a shaking head and an open mouth.

“You kissed Sirius.” Peter made a show of falling on his bed laughing. James joined in.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no.

“Oh. Shit. Sorry! I’m so sorry! It was just… I was drunk.”

Sirius suddenly sprung to his feet and slammed the door, leaving the room quiet behind him.

Remus covered his face with his hands. This was worse than he’d imagined. A complete fool – yes. And a lovesick idiot who couldn’t hide his feelings. His unreciprocated, unnatural feelings for a friend.

He couldn’t let this happen. He couldn’t let this friendship be over like this. It was the most important part of his life. Not having even a shard of a plan, he rose and ran after Sirius.

Luckily Remus knew Sirius' habits. He found him in the owlery, where he sometimes went when upset. Sirius didn’t turn when Remus approached, just let out a big sigh.

“Leave me alone.”

“Padfoot, please.”

“I can’t… I… Just not right now.”

“Please let me explain. I’m sorry.”

Sirius clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. “I just wished you were anything else than sorry!”

“I - What?”

Sirius swiftly turned around, facing Remus.

“I am sorry. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you. I know how drunk you were. But… you seemed to enjoy it. And I thought it was a good opportunity to try – that if you didn’t want to it would be easy to dismiss as a drunken mistake. Only… when you actually did, it hurt way more than I thought it would.”

Suddenly Remus felt dizzy again. The world was upside down. Because even the idea of him rejecting Sirius did not exist in this world. It was so absurd it couldn’t be happening.

“Do you mean that you wanted me to kiss you?”

“I know I shouldn’t have even considered it. I shouldn’t have –“

“I never meant to hurt you! Please, let me kiss you now.”

“Just stop! Don’t you dare pity-kiss me! I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll move on.”

As angry as he was, with eyes glaring and jaw tight, Remus didn’t miss the pain lining his voice.

“Please, Sirius”, he whispered softly, “please come here and let me make this right.”

Sirius stood unmoving. Lips slightly parted. Eyes searching Remus for some explanation, though he thought he just said it as clearly as he could.

Remus stepped closer, slowly, giving him time to withdraw if this wasn't the moment that he hoped it would be. If anything, Sirius shifted an inch closer.

Remus put a hand on Sirius' cheek, softly brushing his black curls behind his ear. Even slower, he leaned forward, closing his eyes, and let his lips touch the corner of Sirius' mouth. The air of a quick exhale tickled Remus' lips and he felt Sirius' hands on his back, pulling him closer. Their lips pressed against each other, still soft and tentative, until Sirius' hand found its way to Remus' neck and Sirius let out a moan that asked for more.

Remus just oh so willingly gave him more. He let his tongue lick Sirius' lips, which immediately parted. He sucked in his upper lip, then let his tongue swirl around in Sirius' mouth, then sucked Sirius' tung that was suddenly in his own.

They broke away both gasping for air.

"I don't understand how I could forget anything like this." Remus breathed.

"It wasn't quite like this. This is much better."

"Then I'm counting this as the first time."

"As long as it's not the last." There was a vulnerability to Sirius' voice that Remus had never heard before. A desperate plea he felt a violent urge to answer.

Remus secured Sirius' body against himself with one arm on his back and one on his thighs. He lifted him up to sit on the long wooden bench that ran round the walls of the owlery. With one hand on each side of him, he pressed Sirius to the wall in a kiss. Sirius' hands were in his hair, and Sirius' heels were on the back of his thighs, pressing him even closer. It was wild. It was all he had dreamt it would be and more.

Remus felt a hand slip inside his shirt, moving up and down his back. He was just about to do the same when he heard a gasp behind him and spun around. A wide-eyed first year with a piece of parchment in his hand stuttered:

"S-sorry, I w-was just going to send a letter."

Remus smiled, too in love to be embarrassed. Sirius also looked amused, though his cheeks were flushing pink.

"Maybe we can find a better place?" Remus suggested and held out a hand. Sirius took it and jumped down from the bench.

Sirius' hand already under his shirt again before they reached the stairs told him the speechless first year was probably not the only innocent bystander they were going to intimidate before the day was over.

#wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #remus x sirius #sirius × remus #wolfstar first kiss

[kaurwreck]

hi! i really want to tell you that i love love love your blog. i feel so much joy when i see you've made a long post with your thoughts. i admire the way you engage with things you enjoy! you've genuinely inspired me to get back into reading. i've been struggling with migraines and after some time i started associating reading with suffering. i stumbled upon your blog because of bsd, and i got so fascinated with the way you communicate with the source material that i had a childlike realization: i want to have that too! and i picked up akutagawa, and i'm enjoying myself so much. i'm never not thinking about the post where you said that the trick to being clever is to stop obsessing over being right. life-changing, really. sending you so so so much love! p.s. as a russian-speaker it's a delight reading your thoughts on dostoevsky, especially seeing you use diminutives, for some reason. in russian slang we sometimes say, "ты так чувствуешь!" ("you are really feeling!") meaning "you really get it on an emotional level!" and that's what i think every time i read your thoughts on dostoevsky.

I hesitated to answer this ask because I wanted to covet it and hoard it and keep it tucked away where I could revisit it to my greedy heart's content without anyone noticing, but I'd rather you know that this ask was so delightful to receive and absolutely melted me in the best way, so I'm publishing it even though that means submitting to the mortifying ordeal of creating a tag so that I can more easily return to your kind words, and perhaps other, similar asks and posts that are emotional balms.

Also, I am so sorry, I'm sleep-deprived and I was so excited and charmed and delighted by your ask that I lost my mind and wrote you a veritable novel in response. Thus, I've added a readmore and headings (because WOW, I went on tangents, sorry!)

Returning to Reading

I'm so sorry you have migraines; I don't get them often, but I do occasionally get them, and it's some of the worst, least tolerable pain I've ever experienced. So, whatever it's worth, you have my sympathy and admiration, especially since returning to reading when you experience frequent migraines implicates some common triggers. (Never mind how annoying I know it is when you're in too much pain to read as a distraction either.) But I'm delighted you're reframing your relationship with reading separate from suffering, and that you're enjoying the process! I'm also returning to reading, and while I don't have the same challenges, I am also engaging in a process of relearning and recontextualizing reading for myself, so I'm always here to chat about it.

I'm especially thrilled that you picked up Akutagawa; Akutagawa is the author who also coaxed me back into reading literature (as opposed to comics or webnovels). He might still be my favorite even now that I've read several, several other modern Japanese authors.

Akutagawa Adoration Hours

[I apologize; I hyperfocused and wrote an entire multi-paragraph essay on how much I love Akutagawa below... I promise I come back to your ask!]

Akutagawa's literary voice is just so vivid, sharp, and intentional. He compels you to cling to the weight of each word with rich, clever language that cuts to the hearts of matters frankly, bluntly, and sometimes scathingly. But even when his authorial voice is ostensibly irreverent or lacquered with detachment, he cradles his most foolish characters, bundling them with naked affection for their sincerity, vulnerability, and childish conviction. They embody his unadulterated faith, and he reserves for them in the implication the same salvation he's convinced he's too sullied by shame, terror, and self-consciousness to deserve. Akutagawa does not squander the gravity of your attention, and even in brief vignettes in which humans become lice or have had their personhood severed from them by the untenable yet escalating demands of their responsibilities to others, there's humanity in his horror and absurdity, and closure in his ambiguity. I rarely feel as if there's certainty in Akutagawa's narratives, but neither do I feel as if nothing that occurred mattered.

Even when nothing has objectively changed for the characters, Akutagawa sources meaning from the subjective perceptions of the characters, the impact of which is rarely diminished by the objective or observable. Thus, the bleakness, horror, and absurdity of the characters' circumstances are sometimes interminable, but they shelter Akutagawa's fondness and latent certainty that existential meaning is inherent to humanity because of, rather than despite, our fragility, foolishness, and callous disregard for measurable truth.

His contemporaries criticized him for the detachment and perceived stagnancy lent by his polish and technical brilliance, but I've never read any of his stories and not felt an earnestness that persists entirely apart from the explicit narrative, as if someone is reading over my shoulder and murmuring "isn't she brave?" whenever a character is so simple in their sincerity that they become vulnerable to humiliation and abuse. And that's not detachment; that's Akutagawa relentlessly writing hope, love, and compassion into the creases of his own grotesque fear, and in doing so, filling spaces we perceive as empty in ourselves with the faith and devotion he was so certain he lacked.

You Said Childlike In Passing But Chapter 55 of the Tao Te Ching Rewired My Brain and I Was Lost In the Akutagawa Sauce So...

And it's childlike how, even when characters like O-Gin are debased and humiliated, Akutagawa yearns for their salvation enough to smudge the ink at the edges of his precisely rendered language so the silly, ignorant little fools might transcend the boundaries of the narrative that otherwise ruthlessly scorned and punished them for their guilelessness. His need for innocence is itself indicative of the keen sense of violation that prompts a toddler to indignation when his jejune reliance on fairness is first exploited and then provided as cause for exploitation.

Akutagawa was wise enough to know childlike conclusions are the most profound and self-actualizing insights we can have, but too certain of the inevitability of his suffering and too overly prescribed barbiturates to nurture and cherish his own salvific childishness. So, your realization was brilliant for its childlike wisdom, and I think it's both wonderful and meaningful that you then nurtured that wisdom by pursuing the relationship you wanted with the source material.

Being Right vs. Playful Engagement

I'm also so glad that the post about being clever =/= obsessing over being right was sticky and impactful! It's, quite frankly, immensely less fun and more pressure if you're hinging your enjoyment on whether you're right when engaging with media where "right" is subjective and layered, and where you're engaging with a foreign cultural context. I get the impression that centering your engagement on making and assessing the accuracy of predictions also lends itself to biases, defensiveness, disappointment, misplaced resentment based on unmet expectations, and incuriosity; at least more so than engaging with the story playfully and sincerely.

I'm also just extremely biased towards bsd and Asagiri's approach to storytelling; I think he's engaging in a challenging and layered approach to storytelling that is wholly unique to him. (At least, based on my own experiences with referential multimedia titles.) I'm so charmed by how Asagiri throws himself into creative challenges and engages in meaningful and remarkably substantive conversations with the source materials, his own portfolio of interlocking narratives, and his audience. I would kill to chat with him about his processes.

Everyone I'd Encountered Who Seemed Parasocially Obsessed With Dostoevsky Was Right

Before I get into this next babble tangent, I want you to know that your kind words and perspective as a Russian-speaker regarding my Dostoevsky thoughts mean SO much to me; I'm very proud if I'm able to do an ounce of justice to the text in my ramblings, and I'm so excited to know the appropriate phrase for what I'm experiencing right now because I am REALLY feeling.

I was admittedly a little nervous about reading his works with only minimal background, and I went into Crime and Punishment without first consulting any published critiques and analyses (which I sometimes do for foreign classics to bridge gaps in context). But, I was eager to start the story, so I decided to just get into it with the understanding I might need to pause for further research if I felt I was missing too much context to engage with the text meaningfully. But, wow, I was immediately consumed. I struggled to put it down for most of it, and I've been staying up too late and sneakily reading at work; things I haven't done since I was in middle school.

While I know I'm missing context, even with the attentive footnotes (and I absolutely will read so many academic papers on it once I finish these last fifty pages), I was pleasantly surprised by how not only engaging his writing and this translation are but also by how familiar with and connected I feel to the characters and circumstances and emotions and dynamics. He has rendered the human experience and specific flavors of People into such compassionate, teasing, sincere, frank, and sobering characters who I feel like I've had entire conversations with.

I love classic lit, but Dostoevsky is sincerely rekindling a joy I haven't felt in years while reading. Also, his frankness and compassion regarding alcoholism and parentified children and trauma and ennui and guilt and the contradictions we grapple with within ourselves and with who we are to different people are giving me a framework for reflecting on swaths of my trauma and childhood that I've struggled to articulate my thoughts and emotions around for years.

I'm so energized and excited about reading his other works, but, wow, I'm going to miss these characters so much.

Accounting For My Crimes Against the Russian Language

I have very little background in Russian, but I'm passingly familiar because in high school (i) I was obsessed with Russian history, particularly related to the USSR and swaths of imperial Russia (I actually taught the lesson on Ivan IV Vasilyevich in my Western Civ class because my teacher was pregnant and exhausted and I knew the material better than she did); and (ii) I studied Russian with a private tutor in my senior year of high school (very lightly; once a week, only for a year, I met with her and two French language teachers from my school who were also interested in Russian for hour-long lessons and to receive homework assignments).

So, while my experience with the language is shallow at best, I've always loved Russian diminutives. I'm obsessed with the sheer amount of information relayed in someone's name. It's incredible. Of the languages I'm familiar with, none have a comparably satisfying gradient range of (i) affection and (ii) disrespect.

That said, I use diminutives for characters I'm particularly fond of, to show affection, and to teasingly disrespect them since I think it's quite overfamiliar for me to take such liberties.

Also, while I try to check after myself to ensure I'm using them correctly, I have only a surface-level understanding of what I'm doing, and some language forum threads are more helpful than others, so I'm very, very sorry if I use any incorrectly, and I encourage you (and any other Russian speakers and learners) to yell at me if you notice I'm misusing someone's name.

So far, my approach has been to check general searches, forums, and Reddit when I've encountered diminutives in Crime and Punishment, and I'll continue to look up every single name variation in the Dostoevsky novels I'm reading, no matter how long it may take me to realize what I've been scouring for isn't a diminutive at all but instead probably (emphasis on "probably," because no one providing English explanations seemed wholly certain) the same name but spoken in the form native to a separate Slavic language than the languages anyone else in the conversation was using, not that it really seemed to matter, since the same characters within the same conversation each used multiple forms of the same, with only one remark on what was most likely the correct form, which everyone ignored/disregarded, including the remarking character. So if you have context on THAT dynamic, I would love to hear about the etiquette and conventions around language forms among the many different languages and dialects in Eastern Europe.

For reference, the diminutives I've been using re: Crime and Punishment and bsd, with more context:

Raskolnikov is "Rodya" unless he's naughty, in which case I call him "Rodka." Unless he's REALLY naughty, then he's Raskolnikov.

Avdotya is Dunya always; I do feel egregious because she commands grace and gravitas, and I respect her SO much. But I love her dearly and am very warm towards her and everything she does, so I call her Dunya as if she were my sister because if she were, I would treat her better than Rodka right now.

Razumikhin is Dima which may be wildly incorrect, both in form and historical context; the only reason I haven't confirmed it yet is because I had an OC named Dmitri in high school that I was very fond of and referred to affectionately as Dima, and I'm similarly fond of Razumikhin, so I've delayed confirming and correcting myself here, although that's very Rodka-naughty of me, I know.

Fedya is always bsd!Fyodor, and only when he has really wide eyes and is being adorable bunny Fedya. He is Fyodor when he is being nasty or squinting. I call the author by either his last or full name, although I'm sure I've carelessly called him Fyodor before too. I try to maintain some consistency in distinguishing who I'm referencing between the characters and their namesakes.

Tl;dr: I love Russian diminutives. The only other time I've come close to feeling the same amount of immense delight over names-as-love-and-violence is when my work mentor, who is Chinese, was providing me with her preferred titles (laoban ["old boss," old meaning "venerable" rather than indicating age], jiejie ["big sister"]), and my other coworker chimed in to say, "Wouldn't you be da-jiejie ["first/eldest big sister"], since you're the oldest?" If looks could kill.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #ryunosuke akutagawa #modern japanese literature #crime and punishment #fyodor dostoevsky #no one read this i got way too into it #tipsy dima #there that can be my tag for kind words and things that I will want to revisit when I'm having a bad day because I adored that scene too #also seriously I've had a hellacious few weeks so you really brightened my day #thank you!

[xylianasblog]

Best Friends Brother

Pairings: Agedup! Aonung x FemNavi reader

Summary: Who better to teach you something new.?

Warnings: MDNI, corruption kink, voyeurism, handjobs, innocent reader, experienced Aonung.

A/n: Hi babies sorry this is so late, day 14 of pandoras glow. It’s definitely not proof read so I hope you babies enjoy. 🥰

꒦꒷❀꒷꒦ ❀✿❀꒦꒷❀꒷꒦MDNI ꒦꒷❀꒷꒦❀✿❀ ꒦꒷❀꒷꒦

You sat giggling and whispering with a bunch of the girls in the village, ones who were far more experienced than you in every way of the word. Of course except for your best friend Tsireya. She was a daddy’s girl just like yourself, the embodiment of perfection, and you weren’t far behind her.

“He’s really good! His tongue feels amazing, but it’s not the only thing he’s good at doing!” Ak’Nita said, you watched with raises brow bones and wide eyes. The other girls continued to giggle at the new information about Aonung yet you were confused, never experiencing anything sexual you were way behind the others. You never minded knowing you have your best friend and sometimes it felt good knowing that the two of you were to pure for the world of Pandora. Treated like princesses among the clan.

However that didn’t mean you weren’t curious, you wanted to understand what felt so good about the things they did. The very first time you even tried to touch yourself was just short of a few weeks ago and you didn’t venture far with exploring your own body due to how uncomfortable you felt.

With a small frown now set on your soft features you picked yourself up and wandered away from the group to your usual watering hole.

It was a secluded area deeper into the thick bits of forest that resided on the lands of Awa’atlu. Deeper into territory that was never explored, you sound sanctuary away from the clan, you always assumed you were the only one who knows of this place well until you heard the soft groans. Groans you assumed mean someone was hurting, your steps picked up and you hurried to assist until you pushed pash a green leaf that hide away the view of Aonung himself in all his naked glory.

Your eyes trailing over his body out of curiosity, taking in every delicate line of his tattoos. The show of his growth literally marked into his skin, starting from the side of his face and dancing along the skin of his arm. The lower you got the bigger his tattoo grew until your eyes landed on his thick muscular thighs, thighs that should have held your attention but it was what was between his thighs that was stiff and leaking.

You held in a gasp, your hand immediately flying to cover your lips as you watched the way his hand tugged on his length. You were entranced by the sight of him doing such an unusual thing, your eyes darting to his face quickly watching the way it contorted into one of pleasure.

You couldn’t look away, looking was bad, looking was something you definitely shouldn’t be doing but the sight itself was too… you just couldn’t look away. Your eyes moved between his eyes and his hard length being stroked by his own hand, you couldn’t help but press your thighs together as you looked on. The sound of your name falling from his lips had your ears perking up, your tail starting to sway excitedly behind you as you watched him release. The sight of his swollen head dripping the me remnants of his self pleasure.

You sat there puzzled and confused, the confusion along with the arousal you couldn’t decipher swirled around in your mind mixing together in a muddled mess.

The moment Aonung took a step, lowering in himself into the pool of water you got up and bolted as quietly as you could. Your mind focused on nothing but your best friend’s brother.

The next day you were alone at your watering hole, your feet licking around the water. Your mind replaying the events that happened, your mind had engraved every single detail about Aonung thick, hard cock into your mind. Your thoughts continued on like this for a moment, your hand slowly trailing over your thighs before eventually tracing over the edge of your loincloth inching closer and closer to where you felt yourself aching.

“Whatcha doing Yawne.” Came Aonungs voice, startling you from your thoughts, the moment completely broken you looked up at him with wide eyes, feeling like a hexapede caught in a trap. “N-Nothing!” You stuttered out, hands immediately moving to your side as if you weren’t just caught about to touch yourself, and especially as if you weren’t picturing that it was Aonung’s rough calloused hands instead of your own.

Aonung let out a small noise of acknowledgment sound alone had you pressing your thighs together. You made sure to avoid him hearing things dropping with light thuds in the ground, you wondered what was happening but you didn’t dare to turn around. You felt him before you seen him, his naked thighs coming into view as he sat beside you. The warmth of his body radiating off of him like ocean waves.

You felt his hand settle on your thigh, rubbing your smooth skin gently. Inch by inch his hand slide up your thigh closer to your aching core. You didn’t stop him, didn’t dare think about it. “I know you saw me yesterday Yawne.” Aonung whispered into your ear before he nuzzled into your neck, his wet lips pressed against the skin lightly. You shuddered as you closed your eyes, body reacting in ways you weren’t use too but you were more than welcome to receiving.

“Come on pretty, let me teach you.” Aonung whispers before pressing his lips against yours softly.

꒦꒷❀꒷꒦༻❀✿❀༺꒦꒷❀꒷꒦༻❀✿❀༺ ꒦꒷❀꒷꒦

Taglist: @pandoraslxna @neteyamsoare @criticallybella @sunfyresrider @neteyamsyawntu @tiredmamaissy @headsincloud9 @etherialblackrose @blue-slxt @justcaptiannoodles @neteyamyawne @oakbuggy @eywaite @luvv4j4ybe11 @quicktosimp @cardi-bre91 @torukmaktoskxawng @rivatar @thepeonysbackup @tallulah477 @anemonelovesfiction

#avatar #avatar twow #atwow ao'nung #atwow aonung #aonung x y/n #aonung smut #atwow x you #aonung x you #aonung #aonung x reader #pandoras glow 2024 #pandoras glow

[herearedragons]

The Hanged Man (chapter 1)

Read on AO3

Notes: This fic relies on some plot points from the short story "The Reaping". If you want the full context for the fic without having to read the short story (which I do recommend, btw), see the AO3 notes or scroll to the bottom of this post.

Edér had imagined his own death way too many times.

There was the war, for one. He'd try not to think about it much, but sometimes things would happen and leave him wondering if that would be him, too.

Stabbing. Slashing. Arrows. Bolts. Broken necks, burned bodies. Slow deaths from wounds gone bad.

And besides your usual pick of deaths, there was Eothas.

Edér knew for a fact he wasn't the only one thinking about it. Lots of soldiers back then were going to sleep every night wondering if they'd just be... smitten out of existence, before they ever woke up.

Close your eyes, and the next thing you see is your god, and he goes well, Edér, you chose the wrong side, so welcome to being dead. No rebirth for you, either. Right into the void with you.

Not the most fun thought to fall asleep with.

Lately, though, it had all been the same thing. The rough, heavy noose around his neck, hands tied behind his back; the creaking of old barren branches above his head, and all of Gilded Vale staring up at him.

The funny thing was, now that he was there for real, it almost felt fake. The rope against his skin; the barrel that would soon be kicked out from under his feet; the silent grey crowd; there was a weird flatness to it all. It was all wrong, just a little off from how it appeared in his recurring dreams.

His dreams didn’t account for the rain, either. 

It was just a light drizzle, but Edér had been standing under it for a while, in the same shirt and trousers he fell asleep in the night before, and by now he was soaked and chilled to the bone.

Part of him was starting to wish they’d just get it over with.

And to think that he almost got out. He should have left as soon as the bell tolled three times yesterday, instead of putting it off until next morning.

Maybe he could have tagged along with that Watcher and the twitchy elf that had been staying at the Black Hound. They were strange folks, sure, but neither of them looked too sturdy; they could have used a protector on the road.

He almost asked to come along with them. Even now, Edér wasn't sure why he didn't.

Same reason why he’d waited this long to leave, probably.

A few feet away from his improvised gallows, Urgeat the magistrate was droning on and on about the "inestimable" Lord Raedric, his care for Gilded Vale, and his love for his wife.

His wife.

When his door got kicked in first thing in the morning, guards swarming in to drag him out of bed, Edér thought it was about Eothas. He figured maybe it was also about the rebels, or because someone saw him talking to that Watcher, and that was somehow also a crime now.

He didn't think they'd say that he murdered a woman.

Lord Raedric's wife. He still didn't know all the details of it - nobody bothered to tell him, since they were all thinking he did it - but what he gathered was that she turned up dead somewhere in the village, and it was close enough to his house to make them think he was involved.

Urgeat was just getting to that part in his speech, now.

Edér had never even seen her up close.

"...spreading dissent and worship of a dead god are, of course, far from the only crimes committed by this man. When words of deception no longer satisfied his foul goals, he turned to murder, and took the life or our beloved Lady Ygrid - "

"Didn't do it."

Even from this distance, Edér could see a sour grimace form on the magistrate's face as soon as he was interrupted.

"Silence, murderer," Urgeat said.

Edér shrugged; the noose shifted uncomfortably on his shoulders.

"Just setting the facts straight," he said. "Didn't do it. Ain't ever laid a finger on her. Sure, I’ve got blood on my hands, but last I checked they were all soldiers."

Not all of those soldiers were Readcerans.

Standing on that barrel gave him a great view of the crumbling shell of the temple behind the villagers' backs - and, standing just beyond it, the house that once belonged to Osgod Rask.

They did find the corpses, eventually. Some settlers moved in, took Raedric up on his offer of land; smelled something foul in the cellar, opened it, and saw what became of the two men in the years that had passed since Edér left them there.

Those settlers didn't stay.

"So you would like us to believe," Urgeat said dryly. "However, lies will not get you out of this noose. I would advise that you save your breath."

Edér couldn't hold back a snort of laughter; not that he was trying that hard.

"Right! 'Cause I have so much breathing left to do still."

Was it his imagination, or did he hear a giggle somewhere in the crowd?

Nobody liked the magistrate. Fact was, were it him in the noose instead of Edér, they'd all be clapping and cheering.

Nobody was cheering for his hanging, at least. He’d like to believe there were some people in the square doubting that he actually did it.

The problem was that it didn’t matter.

Three tolls of the bell spelled death. Before the lady’s body turned up, it meant death for a lot of people, and probably exile for just as many; by the time Raedric was done “appeasing the gods”, Gilded Vale would have been a ghost town.

But now… Now the lord’s wife was dead, and they had one person to blame for it. And, while they were at it, they could blame him for everything else, too.

Maybe there were some folks left in Gilded Vale who didn’t want to see him hang, but they would take it if it meant that he would be the last.

Something drew his eyes back to the empty Rask house.

Daeg's ma, Lifa, had this look on her face when the bodies were found. Whenever Edér was around, she'd get that same look again, like somehow she knew. 

Edér didn't regret what he did. Daeg raised a weapon against a woman and her child, which in Edér's book meant he got what was coming to him - but it didn't mean Lifa deserved to die without ever finding out what happened to her son.

Gods know he’d give a lot to find out what happened to Woden.

"Tell you what, Urgeat," Edér said. "You're gonna hang me, at least hang me for something I did."

He took a breath, preparing to confess to everything that happened with Elafa and her child and the two guards that night - and then the words never came out.

There was a figure walking through the ruins of the old temple.

"Well?" Urgeat inquired impatiently. "If you wish to add to the list of your crimes, I will not stop you, but, by the Wheel, make it quick."

The stranger was wearing a heavy black cloak with an unusually large, baggy hood. Edér couldn't see their face, but they were moving, quickly and purposefully, towards the gathering.

"I take it you have changed your mind," Urgeat said. "Very well. Let us continue - "

"Stop!"

The cloaked stranger had crossed the temple, and stopped at the foot of the tree. She was the one speaking; by the sound of it, she was a woman.

Urgeat let out a heavy, drawn-out sigh.

"Miss,” he said, "Perhaps you failed to notice that we are in the middle of an official proceeding. Whatever business you have, I am sure it can wait a minute longer."

"It cannot," she said. "By the duc's authority, I demand that you stop this execution right now."

"By the duc's - excuse me, who are you?"

In response, she simply reached up and pulled back her strange, heavy hood.

A murmur rolled through the crowd.

She was Ondra-touched. Blue skin the color of a clear sky; black eyes with no whites, two glowing dots for pupils; glowing white hair, a crescent moon-shaped growth on her forehead, and two curving horns, glowing also.

That last part explained the weird shape of her hood.

Edér had never seen this kind of godlike before, but he had heard of them.

During the war, word was that there was one of them in his division. Edér had never met the guy himself, but heard that he could fly, and that any wounds he received would heal right up. Whether the rumors about his blessings were true or not, it was impossible to say now; a few weeks in, the godlike took the brunt of a spell from a Readceran priest and died.

"Agent Selene Moonborn of Dunryd Row," said the Ondra-touched woman. "You may address me as Agent Moonborn, or Selene. Do you need to see my credentials?"

Moonborn... She sure was.

Wait - Dunryd Row?

"I would greatly appreciate that," Urgeat said, but his tone was no longer as snide as it was a moment ago. In fact, Edér was pretty sure that he heard a tinge of fear in his voice.

No wonder. If this was an actual Dunryd cipher, something serious was going on.

Selene approached the magistrate, her cloak swaying silently, and held something out to him. The drizzling rain didn't seem to bother her much.

While Urgeat was inspecting the item she handed him, she looked up over his shoulder. Her eyes met Edér's for a moment, and almost immediately moved on, taking in the rest of the hanging tree.

Was he just a part of the scenery to her, dead already?

"...Very well," Urgeat said, finally. "Welcome to Gilded Vale, Agent Moonborn. As you can see, you find us at an unfortunate hour; we have just lost our lord’s heir, and now our lady as well. Fortunately, her murderer has already been apprehended, and we are in the process of bringing him to justice."

Selene's eyes returned to the magistrate standing before her.

"That man?"

"Edér Teylecg. A troublesome individual. Eothasian." 

Urgeat spat out that last word like it was a curse.

"I see," Selene said. "Unfortunately, you can't execute him."

What?

"...What?"

That was probably the first and last time he and Urgeat had ever agreed on something.

"The murder of a thayn, or a thayn's immediate family, falls under the duc's jurisdiction," Selene explained matter-of-factly. "In the absence of a representative of the duc's authority, the local authorities may investigate and persecute the crime; however, with a Dunryd Row investigator present, that is no longer the case. In other words, you can't execute this man until I have conducted a thorough investigation and determined that he is guilty; in fact, if you do hang him right now, it will be considered a crime and I will have to arrest you."

Something mesmerizing was happening. The longer she spoke, the more Urgeat seemed to shrink away from her; at no point did she raise her voice, but there was an underlying pressure to the calm, even cadence of her speech that seemed to have a nearly violent effect on the magistrate.

Even with a noose around his neck, Edér found that entertaining to watch. Judging by what he was seeing in the crowd, he wasn't the only one. Though, the villagers weren't exactly on the agent's side, either; many of them were smirking, but just as many were eyeing her with suspicion.

Urgeat made one last feeble attempt to resist:

"Lord Raedric - "

"I would be very grateful if you could arrange an audience with the lord for me," Selene said. "Tell him that a Dunryd Row agent arrived to investigate the murder of his wife, and would like to hear his testimony. I would like to see the body, as well."

There was a long moment of silence.

"I will relay your message to His Lordship," Urgeat said, finally.

Then, the magistrate turned around. His face was even more grey and dead-looking than it usually was.

"You heard the agent," he said to the surrounding guards. "Take him down."

If Selene's appearance earned a murmur from the crowd, the sound they were making now was more like the distant rumble of thunder.

Something was happening that had never happened before, and now every mind in Gilded Vale was feverishly working on the same question: what does this mean for me?

Every mind except for Edér's, that is. He was a little busy trying to come to terms with standing on solid ground again.

Still cold, still with his hands tied, still accused of a murder he didn't commit - but, somehow, alive.

The same guard that took the noose off his neck walked him up to where Selene and the magistrate were talking.

The crowd around them was beginning to disperse. Urgeat never gave an explicit dismissal, but the guards had stepped away from the tree and started giving the rest of the villagers move-along-now looks.

Most folks got the hint, and those who didn't got pulled along by those who did.

Selene glanced at Edér again as he approached; this time her gaze lingered. It felt as though she was assessing something about him.

Eventually she nodded to herself, seemingly having reached a conclusion, and said to the guard standing beside him:

“Untie him, please.”

The man just shuffled in place awkwardly and looked at Urgeat.

"I don’t know if this is wise," the magistrate said. "He may become violent."

Only if you keep talking, Edér thought; usually this kind of thought would come right out of his mouth, but not this time.

He wasn't in a hurry to go back to the tree just yet.

"If he does, I'll protect you," Selene said. 

Her voice and expression were dead serious, but she was definitely taking the piss at Urgeat here.

Edér decided that he liked her.

The guard unsheathed his sword and began to saw at the rope at Edér's wrists; meanwhile, Selene turned to him and began speaking.

"Edér Teylecg, by the duc's authority, I am placing you under arrest. No harm will come to you unless you attempt to resist or flee, or your guilt is proven."

The rope fell off.

"Noted," Edèr said.

It was as if she didn't hear.

"Is there a jail in Gilded Vale?" Selene asked, turning to Urgeat again.

The magistrate smiled thinly:

"There are the lord's dungeons."

"Understood," she said. "House arrest it is, then. Please inform the vilagers that they are not to visit the suspect while the investigation is ongoing."

And, just like that, Edèr’s fate was decided.

*

The walk back to his house was silent.

Edér was leading the way, the agent following behind. He could barely hear her steps; a couple times, he even got the urge to turn around and check that she was still there.

He didn't. Wouldn’t want to do anything that she could interpret as "trying to flee or resist"; Edèr had a funny feeling that, despite not having any visible weapons and being a head shorter than him, Selene had her ways of making him regret that.

His mind was still all over the place, trying to work out what his current reality looked like.

He didn't die. He was walking the path back to his house, which, about half an hour ago, he was never going to do again.

There was a Dunryd Row cipher walking behind him. She somehow knew about the murder that happened just this morning; she couldn't have come all the way from Defiance Bay, could she?

Where did she come from?

Why did she stop the hanging?

It was fun watching her have a go at Urgeat, but, now that the magistrate was gone and Edér was alone with her, he did very much want to know what she was planning to do with him.

Now that he thought about it, he didn’t really know what a cipher could do.

There were plenty of folks who came to Gilded Vale saying they were one, and claimed all sorts of powers: some said they could see the future, some that they could read minds and souls. Most of them turned out to be a fraud, and at least a few of them ended up on the tree.

Nothing he could remember about them gave him a frame of reference for what a real Dunryd Row cipher was capable of.

Killing him, probably. Whatever else they taught their agents, Edér was pretty sure they had that part covered.

He was still thinking about that when his house came into view.

Suddenly, Selene's voice sounded behind his back: 

"Stop."

He stopped.

"Is that your house?" she asked.

"...Yeah."

"Do you live alone?"

"I do."

"There's someone inside."

…Well, that wasn't right.

"It's just one person," Selene said after a moment. "We can approach. Stay behind me."

Before Edér could ask how she could tell, she walked past him and headed straight for the door.

The only option left was to follow her.

Up close, Edér could hear it too: something was happening inside. There was a heavy scraping noise, like something was being dragged across the floor.

The door gave no resistance when Selene pushed it open; the bolt got broken earlier that morning.

She stepped inside.

The room was a mess. There were drawers open; his clothes were in a heap on the bed; the tools that were supposed to hang on the walls were laid out on the big dining table.

The scraping noise was coming from the far end of the house, where a man was trying to drag a chest out of the corner.

The chest was heavy. Edér knew that, because that's where his Saint's War armor was; his sword and shield, too.

There wasn't much left in the house worth keeping under lock and key, but his armor and weapons were two of the things he did think could be stolen.

Turns out, he was right to worry.

"Excuse us," Selene said.

The man stopped struggling with the chest and froze.

"...Who's that?"

The shadows made it hard to recognize him, but, as soon as Edér heard the voice, he knew.

"Algar, you sheepfucker! Couldn't wait 'til I was dead?"

At the sound of his voice, the man jumped and straightened up at once, turning around to look at them, white as a sheet.

Sure enough, they were looking at Algar Bramweg: reedy, thin-haired and watery-eyed. Came back from the war with burns on his face and left arm, but he came back. 

He was a meek guy, but Edér used to think he was alright. Until that moment, that is.

"Edér!" Algar nearly squeaked. "Wh-what are you doing here? Aren't you - "

"Hanging on a tree?" Edér asked grimly. "Matter of fact, I was. They let me down so I could see who was in here, stealing my stuff."

"Well, I - I thought you wouldn't be needing it anymore!" Algar glanced around with the look of a cornered animal in his eyes. "...I'll put it back. I'll put it all back. I - what happened? Who is this?"

With that last question, he gestured wildly at Selene, who was just standing there the entire exchange.

"Agent Selene Moonborn, Dunryd Row," she said. "I take it you weren't in the square when I arrived. All you need to know for now is that the hanging has been postponed, and this building is now off limits. Please return everything you may have taken from here; it could be evidence."

Algar looked completely lost, now.

"...Evidence?"

"In the investigation of Lady Ygrid's murder," Selene clarified. "Like I said, this is all you need to know right now. If you're confused, ask one of your friends who were present for the hanging; I don't have time to repeat the details."

Algar looked over at him.

Edér shrugged:

"I'd do as she says, if I were you."

When Algar was done emptying his pockets, it turned out that he had picked up a couple of smaller tools, Edér’s entire whiteleaf stash, a handful of copper pands - and the book of prayers that survived year after year of purges in spite of Raedric’s efforts, safely hidden on top of one of the ceiling beams.

That last one puzzled him.

Algar didn’t just take the book - he was looking for it. There was no way for him to stumble upon it on accident.

“Alright,” Edér said, “The coins and the whiteleaf, I get. Tools, too. But what did you need that for?”

Algar didn’t quite meet his eyes when he answered:

“Well, so many of those got burned or thrown away, I figured - the right folks would pay a fortune for one that’s still intact.”

So he was going to sell it. Made sense; more sense than Algar secretly being a devout Eothasian, anyhow.

Once Algar had left, Selene shut the door behind him. She regarded the broken bolt for a moment, then said:

"This will have to be fixed."

It wasn't clear whether she was talking to herself or to him.

Then, she turned around and addressed him directly:

“Please, take a seat.”

It was damn weird to be invited to sit down in his own house. Felt like an insult more than anything else; Edér had half a mind to say something about it, but thought better of it.

He pulled a chair out from the dining table and sat down.

As soon as he did, he regretted it. His body realized that he was no longer on his feet, and took it as an invitation to crash; immediately, his limbs felt heavy, and his head began to spin.

The entire morning was now catching up to him. Waking up to guards in his house; being dragged to the square; standing in the rain, counting the seconds left until his last breath.

How long had he been awake for? An hour? Felt like two entire days, at this point.

Black bones of Eothas, he’d almost - 

No, wasn’t the time for that. He’d think about that later, or maybe never.

He kind of liked that second option better.

His hands were shaking just a little; probably because he was still really cold.

Edér looked up at the agent.

“Mind if I start the fire?”

“...Oh.” It was as if she’d just realized the same thing he did. “Not at all. If you want to change your clothes, I’ll wait by the door.”

Well, that was nice of her.

He took her up on that offer.

Once he’d gotten a fire going in the firepit and changed into the clothes Algar so kindly left out for him on the bed, it was much easier to believe that he was, in fact, still alive.

Algar was going to take his whiteleaf, but he’d left the pipe right where it was. Figures; he had his own.

“You smoke, agent?” Edér asked, just as she stepped back into the room.

“I don’t, but you can go ahead.”

And so they sat down at the table, the fire in the middle of the room casting their shadows onto the far wall, the smoke from his pipe rising like a sheer curtain between them.

He was at home, now, and a little more certain that he could handle whatever Selene was about to throw at him.

“Suppose I should thank you,” Edér said. “If it weren't for you showing up when you did, would have been one more corpse on that tree - and Algar would’ve been smoking my whiteleaf just about now.”

For the first time since she walked out into the square, he saw Selene’s expression become something other than a distant, observing look.

Her eyes narrowed just a little, her pupils twinkling like twin stars in the night sky; she didn’t really smile, but her face softened in a way that made him think that maybe it was her way of smiling.

“It was a close call,” she said. “I’m glad I could stop them from hanging an innocent.”

Whatever Edér expected her to say, that was not it.

He didn't think he'd feel that much relief at hearing her say it, either. Of course he didn't murder the lady; he knew that. Half of Gilded Vale probably knew that too, but none of them would ever say it out loud if they wanted to stay safe.

But how did Selene know?

"...You figure that out with your cipher powers?"

The only other option he could think of was that she killed the lady, and Edér really hoped it wasn’t that.

“Good guess,” Selene said.

Her eyes drifted away from him for a moment, like she was considering something, or hesitating.

Finally, she said:

"I'll get straight to the point: I wasn't sent here to investigate the murder of Lady Ygrid. As far as I know, no one outside of Gilded Vale even knows that she’s dead.”

It took him a moment to process what she was saying.

“...Wait, so… what’s all this for?”

Selene sighed. Something was gone from her voice and her posture now - that invisible pressure she used against Urgeat. It was as if an act had been dropped.

“I came to Gilded Vale on Dunryd Row business that had nothing to do with Lady Ygrid. I happened to arrive just as an execution was happening. I read the mind of the man about to be hanged and knew that he didn’t commit the crime he was being accused of, so… I intervened in the only way I could think of.”

…By lying to Urgeat.

Wait.

She read his mind?

So that was true about ciphers, then.

Oh gods. How much did she see? Did she know about - no, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t have helped him, had she known.

Was she listening right now?

“I’m not reading your mind right now,” Selene said.

Edér couldn’t help but laugh nervously:

“You’re not really helping your own case here. How’d you know I just thought that?”

She shrugged:

“It’s the first thought people have when they realize I can do this.”

Oh.

“...Well, alright, that’s fair.”

“Sometimes, I can’t help but overhear the thoughts of others,” Selene said. “Usually, those thoughts are surface-level and charged with intense emotion. Feelings of pain or anger, for example. In your case, you were thinking pretty loudly that you didn’t do it.”

Well, now he had to ask.

“...Was I… thinking about anything else?”

Selene met his eyes, unblinking.

“You were cold. And you wanted the magistrate to shut up.”

“...That sounds about right.”

She didn’t hear about the bodies in the cellar. He must have had some unbelievable luck.

Better not waste it.

“From now on, I’ll always let you know when I’m listening to your thoughts,” Selene said. “I’m saying this because I would like us to be allies.”

She leaned forward, cutting through the protective curtain of whiteleaf smoke and bringing her face just a little closer to his. The glowing markings on her cheeks, a dot and an upturned crescent moon under each eye, stood out starkly against her skin.

“I want you to help me find the real murderer of Lady Ygrid.”

This answered the question of what she wanted from him, at least.

"Why do you think I can help?" Edér asked. "If you really read my mind, you saw that I don’t know anything."

"About the murder, maybe, but you know Gilded Vale," Selene said. "I could use the help of a local. And, for better or worse, you're the only one in town I trust right now - seeing as you're the only one who wasn't almost an accomplice in another murder today."

"...Wait, what?"

She gave him an amused look.

"I'm talking about your murder, Edér. What do you think that hanging was?"

Well, that was a charged question, wasn't it.

He glanced over at the Eothasian book of prayers, still resting on the far end of the table. Was there even a point in trying to hide it again?

"Some folks 'round here would call it justice," he said, finally. 

Selene followed his gaze to the book, gave a little nod and withdrew, putting some more distance between them again.

"I wish I could say it's not the same in Defiance Bay, but I'd be lying," she said. "Where you have Raedric, we have the Dozens. They don't have nearly as much power, and that's the best thing I can say about them."

"Seems you don't like them much."

"I don't. Like your magistrate, they like to point fingers, and make my work - finding the truth - harder."

She paused for a moment, then asked:

"You fought in the war, didn't you?"

"I did," Edér said. "On the right side, mind you. Got any doubts, you can read my mind about it."

Selene shook her head.

"I believe you. I just wanted to say - that’s another reason you’re a good ally to have. You did the right thing, even if it meant standing up to your god; that takes more than bravery."

Edér nearly choked on the puff he'd just taken from his pipe.

Gods damn. Would he ever figure out what she was about? Every time it felt like he was starting to get a beat on the conversation, she'd hit him with something else.

"Now here’s something you don't hear a lot these days," he said.

Now Selene smiled, but there wasn't an ounce of joy in it.

"I dedicated my life to digging up things others desperately want forgotten," she said. "Maybe I haven't gone to war against Ondra, but I can't imagine she's too happy with me, either. You had to go even further; I think that calls for respect, not persecution."

Edér stared at her for a moment.

"I've got to ask," he said, finally. "Are all of you Dunryd folks like this, or is it just you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. You're getting real involved in something you've got no stakes in. Sharing all kinds of opinions. Round here, that's how you end up on the tree; trust me, I know."

Something in her expression shifted; it became cold and pointed, and, for a moment, Edér was sure that he fucked up.

"I don't like seeing people be disposed of," Selene said. 

And then that chilling look was gone.

"...Besides, solving crimes is what I do. I wasn't ordered to investigate this one, but I don't think my superiors would mind, as long as I completed my original mission as well."

Edér decided that it was probably safe to start breathing again.

"You're goddamn weird, agent," he said. "I don't know what exactly I can do, but - I think I wanna help you."

Again, that smiling-without-smiling look.

"I'm glad," Selene said.

"Well... What's our move, then?"

She regarded him for a moment.

"Take a minute to recover. Clean up, eat something," she said. "Then, we'll go see the crime scene."

Notes (spoilers for The Reaping):

In The Reaping, Edér and his ex Elafa end up killing two of Raedric's soldiers, who were threatening Elafa and her Hollowborn child. Edér hides their bodies in an abandoned house; Elafa leaves the town with her child the same night.

#pillars of eternity #edér teylecg #herearedragons writing #project: the hanged man #and so it begins #oc: watcher selene #technically my birthday is tomorrow but I'm posting this early so people can get around to actually reading it

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for never coming home or writing letters?

Why, hello everyone. So, I am not usually the type to talk about stuff like this, so please bear with me if this isn't as coherent or easy to read as other posts here. It's just that after a younger friend of mine told me about this forum I got interested. Y'know, went some pent of feelings, get some outside perspectives… Might be nice.

So, I (M, late teens) don't live with my family. In fact, I haven't been for years. When I was in middle-school I had a, let's call it, 'revelation' that I just didn't feel happy at home. See, I don't wanna brag, but I've always had a certain talent for sorcery, and my parents did value that. Just… Not in a way I felt comfortable with, I suppose. Thinking back, the attention and expectations they placed on me felt suffocating. I was expected to invest a lot of my time into studying the family craft, specifically dark magic, which never really was my "thing" to begin with. And when they didn't have me study, they would have me fight exhibition duels against the heirs of other clans as a show of power. For a while, it felt like I had no control over my life whatsoever. I tried to lock myself in the manor's kitchen or run off into the woods to relief some stress by baking or feeding the forest animals, but… doing that would always net me severe scolding punishment. I'd rather not go deeply into that part.

I suppose one day I just couldn't take it anymore. I took the advice of a child even younger than I was and left the manor, traveling the continent with nothing but the clothes on my back until I managed to get myself enrolled in a magic academy far away from my family home. And, I'll be honest, I never really regretted doing so. Ever since that day, I've felt so much more in control of my own life, so much more alive than I ever did when I lived under my parents' roof. I've been able to make a name for myself using my magic the way I want to and specializing in the things I like, and I feel I've really done well for myself. In all honesty,nothing I've done would bring my clan name into disrepute, quite the opposite, actually! But… I wouldn't know how my parents think about that.

I haven't been in contact with them since I've left. Not even once. I've thought of sending letters, but I wouldn't know what to write. After all, even know that I'm fairly well-known as a sorcerer in my own right, I still have no intentions of inheriting the family estate or carrying on the legacy of dark magic our clan is known for. So if I tried to contact them, what would they do? Would they ignore my letters? Would they reply with anger? Would they send an envoy to attempt to retrieve me and bring me back? Frankly, I'm scared. I could probably fight any hired sorcerers they send my way off easily enough, but… That's not what I want. I don't want to go back. There's nothing I want to do less than go back to the way things used to be before.

I guess what I'm trying to say is… I never meant to cause my family grief. But lately, I can't help but wonder if that is what I'm doing. I was the only heir, after all. I am happy with the path I've chosen in life, and I'm convinced it's what I needed to do for my own sake. But I also find myself wishing I could share the happiness I've found away from them with the people I had to leave behind… And I hate the thought that they might be hurt because of me. And sometimes I wonder if I'm not a little at fault for how things turned out after all, in a way.

So… What do you people think? Please, don't hold back. I expect your honest feedback.

~L.

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[iloveboysinred]

Worldly things [Choso Kamo]

pg.13 fluff | Choso Kamo x fem reader (can be read as gender neutral but written with a fem reader in mind, minimal pronouns use)

synopsis; Choso was still adjusting to living life in the open with his brother. He struggles to grasp human concepts, growing even more confused when Yuji brings up the topic of attraction.

cw; shy Choso, speed dating, Yuji and Choso call each other brother all day long, Shibuya never happened idc everyone is still alive and living normally because we deserve peace, soft Choso, awkwardness, fluff, youre yuta’s sister, cursing, not entirely proofread

3046k words

masterlist

“Dude, Jennifer Lawrence over Takada any day.” “How can you even say that, as my brother!?” Choso sat between Yuji and Todo, trying to understand what the discussion was about. He kept looking between the two arguing men, wanting to be included but not at all knowing what to say. 

There were a lot of things Choso didn’t understand about his new life. He was still confused on how humans behaved; and he didn’t even bother attempting to decipher the technology all around him and how it conveniently solved the simplest problems in seconds. None of it had ever mattered before. His one and only drive was to live for his brothers, to protect them. 

However, Choso realized that assimilating to humans would make him closer to Yuji, he would be more easily accepted around his brother’s colleagues and friends if he behaved more like a typical human. So he tried extra hard to indulge in Yuji’s hobbies; sometimes following him around, observing him and his behavior around others. It was starting to become a little unsettling, and he later solemnly accepted Yuji’s advice on finding interests of his own.   

But today was a slow day. Only a few sourcers mill around before having to return to their rooms, quiet chatter dying down as the last of the school’s faculty disperses. The school is enveloped in peaceful quiet. The sun had begun to set, darkening the sky into soft hues of orange, scarlet and purple. Humidity from the afternoon’s rain had settled in the air, fat dew drops rolling off tree leaves, dripping onto the ground below and soaking the soil, making the  unpleasant stench of wet earth waft into the air. Wildlife sang from their hiding places, the prominent sounds of crickets chirping from the grass overtaking the peaceful silence, Inharmonious with the accompanying high notes of birdsong. It was miserable out to say the least. 

 Choso had decided to spend his downtime with Yuji as always, finding comfort in his brother’s familiarity. It was difficult to connect with anybody else, their cold glances and blatant disregard of him perfectly sending the message they wanted him to receive; 

He was an outcast. 

It had only been Todo who welcomed him, both as a brother and as a friend. Although they had initially bonded over their mutual care for Yuji, there was nothing else Choso could really relate to. Todo just kept going on and on about brotherhood and other things he was too uninterested in to catch. He never complained though, happy with the companionship they had forged. 

“What do you think, big bro?” Yuji turned towards Choso, shoving the screen a little too close to his face, Todo coming up with his own phone, expectantly staring Choso down. The sudden confrontational attention made him a little anxious. What were they asking him about? Who were these two women? 

“I don’t understand. What are you asking me, little brother?” Choso warily ducked away from the phones, way too close to even really know what he’s looking at. “Which one do you think is hotter?!” Choso responded with a blank look, still not understanding. “ Hotter?” “yeah– like which one do you like more?” Choso backed up to get a proper look, eyeing both screens carefully, attempting to see what the boys were seeing. “Well, I don’t know them, so I can’t say-”Oh for fucks sake. Which one do you find more attractive?!” Todo snapped, and Choso couldn’t help the irritation that flit through him for a second at his outburst. “Well, if i’m being honest. I don’t think I like either of them.” “HUH?!” the boys shouted in unison, gaping at him as though he’d grown another head. Choso shrugged, happily easing back on the comfortable bean bag Yuji had in his room.

 “Do you even have a type, big bro?” Yuji inquired, hanging over the bed to peek down at him. “Yeah, do you even like human women?” Todo added, his huge build almost toppling over the edge of the bed. Choso sighed, stretching his arms out across the bean bag. This was just going to be another quirk added to his list of social behaviors he’d have to learn. “I’m not sure I know what it feels to ‘like’ somebody. Sorry.” Yuji flopped down on the bean bag next to him, leaning over on his shoulder. “Okay so think about it like this, when you like somebody, you feel your heart get really fast, and you think about kissing them and holding their hand. Has anybody ever made you feel that way, big brother?” 

Choso scratched his scalp, thinking over his answer. Out of all the people he’s met so far he can’t say he felt anything but aloof towards them, certainly not feeling deeply enough to think about intimacy. There were plenty of pretty women around, of course. However, physical appearance was simply not enough to invoke such sentiments in Choso’s mind. He shook his head, muttering a quiet “no.” He was starting to feel insecure again. They made it sound as if he’d committed an absurdity. Did his lack of feelings alienate him from his own brother this time? His reaction had made it feel that way, the look of shocked disbelief on Yuji’s face suddenly starting to make him feel queasy. 

“You know what that means, big brother?” Yuji’s voice had taken a serious note, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, tight grip making Choso’s anxiety worsen. “What? what does it mean, little brother?” Yuji dramatically closed his eyes, clenching his fist close to his chest “It means… we have to find out what you like and then land you a girlfriend!” The silent pause that followed was awkward, Todo not even acknowledging the conversation anymore, just laying on the bed staring at something on his phone. “..What?” Yuji responded with a look of newfound determination, sitting up and gripping his shoulders with both hands. “Leave it to me, big bro!”  

Choso could only stare at him, slightly relieved of his worries, but at the same time anxious to see what Itadori had planned. 

The following day was beautiful. The outside was still a bit humid from the previous night, but the beaming sun made it less noticeable. The dry breeze provided little relief against the scorching heat of the day, instead swirling around dry soil and leaf litter. The uncomfortable aridity had prompted everyone to be indoors or exclusively under shade, keeping themselves cool in the air conditioned classrooms and dorms. 

Choso decided to exchange his Sōhei for more weather tolerant clothes, opting to instead wear a simple black mid-sleeve shirt and a pair of dock pants he had borrowed from Yuji. He kept his hair in it’s usual up-do, not bothering to do much but thumb down a few unruly fly aways and re-tighten his hair ties. 

He eyed himself in the mirror, dusting himself off in ponderance. Yuji had told him to dress nicely, inviting him as a chaperone to a shopping trip with the other first years. He had happily agreed, questioning why his brother hadn’t invited him out more often, assuring the boy that he would love to tag along and even help Yuji pick out some new shoes, still feeling guilty about the wounds he’d inflicted so long ago. But now he wasn’t sure he liked the idea anymore. He thought back to Yuji’s barely concealed enthusiasm at the prospect of landing him in a relationship and internally cringed. “Shopping trip..yeah, right.” but he had already agreed, and the thought of letting his little brother down hurt enough to convince him to show up anyway. 

The trip to the mall had been a lot more ignominious than Choso had expected. He seated himself next to his brother, miserably waiting in a booth for the “speed dating” event to begin. It was being hosted in the middle of the mall, a large crowd of people surrounding the participants. Choso had never felt so trapped, protectively holding onto Yuji’s sleeve under the table. He was tense, eyes flitting through the crowd often. “It’s okay big bro, just relax.” Yuji whispered, reassuring him with a gentle pat on his shoulder, then sitting up straight when the first round of contestants walked up to the table. He pursed his lips and sat up from the lazy forward slouch he’d always sit in, reluctantly letting go of Yuji’s sleeve and turning to face the woman sitting down in front of him. 

He had to admit she was pretty- but he just couldn’t find something to converse about at all. He glanced at the reject button for a second, bright red and blinking up at him. He contemplated the emotions he would invoke from her if he pressed it, would she be relieved from this misery the same way he would be right now? Or would she be disappointed? The minimal conversation had been fine, exchanging basic courtesies at first and asking questions here and there. But as the minutes passed it felt as if he was grasping at straws. His voice getting drier, his focus wavering elsewhere.

 Choso was bored. Worse than that, he didn’t even want to be there. 

He pressed the button, and she paused her chatter, startled by the muted “bzzz!” the button hummed. He apologized and she politely said her goodbyes, getting up and walking on to the next row. 

Pretty soon Choso was overwhelmed and tired. Every contestant had either completely uninterested him, or asked too many questions he didn’t feel the need to answer. Yuji, on the other hand, acquired a mountain of phone numbers. His pockets stuffed to the brim with little paper slips. He tried to be comforting, encouraging Choso to try again another time. But by now he just wanted nothing more but to go home and hide away in his room. Going back to the dining hall where Megumi and Nobara waited for them, Choso hovered around them as they shopped, holding Nobara’s bags out of courtesy and making sure to keep the three students within his sights. 

Much later than Choso would have liked, they finally decided to go back to the school. He less than carefully shoved Nobora’s bags off onto Megumi and headed back to his room, eager to just sit by himself for a while, away from the frustrating heat and maybe even find himself something to eat. He had already gotten accustomed to these halls, walking in what seemed to be an endless straight line, turning  two corners on the way to his room, walking down until he reached his door. 

The room door across from him opened just as he fished his keys out of his pocket and his eyes veered over, slightly startled. Nobody had ever been inside that room before. As long as he’d been there it’s always been deafeningly quiet, uninhabited and empty. The shuffling almost made him want to be apprehensive. Was it an intruder? Could somebody have gotten past so easily? 

He drew in a quiet breath when you emerged from inside, idly standing in front of his door. You turned around, startling when you noticed him.  “Oh, hi! You must be Choso. Sorry we didn’t get to meet before, I’ve been overseas with my little brother. I’m Y/n Okkotsu, it's really nice to meet you. I hope we can be….” Choso patiently waited until you were done rambling, studying your face in wonder. You were so pretty, beautiful, even.  The resemblance to Yuta was definitely there; but your lips, smile, and eye color were uniquely yours. 

“Uh..Choso?” He blinked, realizing it was quiet. You were waiting for him to respond. “Oh- sorry, I'm Choso Kamo. I hope we can be good neighbors.” He offered you a crooked smile, stuffing his hands into his pockets. He felt his heart squeeze when you smiled back at him, wondering how you had so much warmth for a stranger you’d just met. “Yeah I know! My brother told me about all the newbies lurking around, I'm glad we got the chance to meet face to face.” He nodded, awkwardly shuffling in place. He had no idea what to say to you, embarrassment at his painful silence warming his stomach. “….well okay, well if you ever want to hang out you know where to find me. See you around, Cho!” you nodded at him, padding off with a large suitcase hanging on your back. After a few beats he finally managed to unlock his door, rushing in, hastily shutting it behind him. “Cho?” he had to admit he didn’t mind the nickname, for some reason it sounded so sweet coming from you. 

The next few days Choso only caught a few glances of you here and there. From what he heard around the dorms, you were a special grade sorcerer right along with your brother. It was only to be expected that shortly after your return you’d both been bombarded with missions. Regardless, he found himself always seeking you out. Every day he would stare at your door for a little too long, silently hoping you would pop out and greet him with your dazzling smile, calling him by that sweet little nickname you’d entitled him with.

“Cho” 

He was undeniably curious about you. Which is why he’s knocking on your door now, smiling to himself at your muffled “Coming!” from behind the door. He shifted anxiously from one foot to the other, trying to keep his face blank. You swung open the door, politely smiling at him. “Oh hi Cho! What can I do for you?” the edges of his lips curled, suddenly feeling a bit bashful. “ I was wondering if you wanted to ‘hang out’? Only you’re not busy, of course.” you blinked at him, in aghast. He cringed, almost wanting to retract his offer, suddenly nervous. “If it’s a bad time, that’s okay- “ “no! no! Choso, come in!” you gleefully stood to the side, giving him space to walk inside your room.

He was impressed by the personality you had given your dorm. Beautifully decorated with personal items you had collected on your journeys, framed pictures of you and your little brother sitting neatly on your desk. The warm, incandescent lighting from your lamps bathed the room in a cozy atmosphere, making him feel relaxed. He breathed in the calming scents of the candles you had on the counter of your kitchenette, scents of cinnamon spice filling his nose and warming his spice circulating in the air from the air conditioner blasting cool air into the space. He found that he liked your room, taking off his shoes at the door and leaving them on the side, stepping on your fluffy carpet with his socks, his feet relaxing pleasurably into the soft material. “You can sit anywhere you like, get comfortable.” you gestured to the love seat a few feet away from your bed. He sunk into the chair, his fingers interlaced on his bouncing leg as he watched you prepare him a glass of cold iced tea.

“You sit there while I get ready, okay? Then we can head out somewhere.” He nodded, taking the glass so he could lean back and get comfortable. After a few minutes you came out from the bathroom, clad in a gray tank top and jean shorts. He noticed you pulled your hair up into a bun, making him reach up to feel his own hair, noticing that you were matching. He smiled to himself in delight. “Alright Cho, ready to go?” He nodded at you, placing the glass on the nightstand before he got to his feet and followed you out the door, silently walking behind you.

You had ultimately decided on heading to a nearby ice cream parlor, setting down on the stools and ordering a large sundae to share. He found that conversation came easy with you, your bubbly personality was refreshing. You always had something to talk about. He felt lightweight, his heart skipping a beat everytime you smiled at him. The chatter in the parlor was a dull noise. The only thing Choso could hear was your voice, calling his name so prettily, looking at him with your beautiful eyes. He thought that he wanted to be like this forever, he wanted you to always look at him that way, to always smile at him. 

All too quickly, the day had come to an end. Choso had slowed down his pace to match yours, trying to savor the walk back to the dorms for as long as he could. You continued on your chatter, exchanging funny stories and sentiments for your brothers. The warmth in his chest had only grown when you stopped right in front of your door. You graced him with one of your smiles, bringing him into a hug. He shyly wrapped his arms around you, laying his forehead on your shoulder.  

After a while you pulled away, smiling “I had fun, Cho” you whispered,  holding his shoulders. “Why do you call me that?” he couldn’t help but ask, his heart feeling fuzzy every time you called him by that name. “Well..” his lips pursed to hide his smile when he noticed your warming cheeks. “Because it’s cute… and I think you’re cute.” You averted your eyes from his, regretfully pulling away to fumble with your keys. “Sorry if that was too forward–” Choso waved his hand, cutting you off. “No-no, it’s alright. I-I think you’re cute, too..” he could feel the blush on his cheeks, his heart squeezing. 

You giggled at him, your blush matching his own, opening your door and half stepping inside. “Let’s do this again, yeah?” he nodded, “yeah– how about tomorrow? If you’re not busy?” “You know where to find me, goodnight Cho.” this time he smiled at you, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Goodnight, Y/n.”  When you shut the door Choso took off to Yuji’s room, rapidly knocking on the door in urgency. He didn’t even greet his brother, barging into the room as soon as the door opened. “Big bro, what–” Choso turned around, looking at him with a mix of panic and glee.

“I think.. I like somebody, little brother.” 

#❥iloveboysinred #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #choso x you #choso kamo #choso x reader #jjk choso #kamo choso #choso x y/n

[winstonsns]

could i request something about reader who is a curtis sister, about 12 years old, and she’s like suzy bishop from moonrise kingdom? c: (sorry it’s kinda specific)

the gang and child suzy bishop!reader

authors note: i researched about suzy bishop, and my resources said she’s fierce, angsty and has a temper. so basically, that’s what the reader is like, a curtis sister too. i’m sorry i haven’t been posting at good times, i’ve been very occupied with volunteering at my schools graduation and getting ready for the end of the year. this is my longest post so far!! 💗

includes ponyboy, johnny, soda, darry, dally, two-bit and steve

word count: 3.3k

warnings: cussing, blood, fighting, drinking, depression

PONYBOY CURTIS

you and your brother, ponyboy were walking home from school, you two saw a blue mustang, knowing it was a couple of socs

the two of you knew what to do in this situation, so you sped up, trying to get to your house quicker

four of the socs jumped out of the car, the driver still driving

two of them grabbed your arms and two grabbed your brother’s, pinning ponyboy to the ground

he started screaming for his brothers, while you stayed quiet, a knife held to ponyboy’s throat

“motherfucker—“ you mumbled, kicking one of the socs in the shin, forcing both of them to let go of you, kneeing one in the dick and punching his face, he fell to his knees in pain

you kicked the one on your left in the stomach, getting a rock nearby and hitting his face with it, blood dripping down the socs face

the socs that were holding down ponyboy looked at you in fear, looking at each other for a brief second, then you glared at them and ran towards them

the ones who were holding you down ran away to the car, and the socs who were with ponyboy ran when you came towards them

all the socs were gone, and the two of you were safe, you looked at your brother with worry, not blinking, however he thought you were mad at him

you grabbed him by the shirt, lifting him up and continued walking

he eventually caught up to you and said, “thanks, sis..” so you nodded and didn’t say anything else

you were hard to read, and he hated that, he never knew if you cared, and sometimes thought of you like how he thought of darry

pony always wondered if darry loved him, and thought of his ‘cold, pale eyes,’ a way he would describe you at times, cold

since you were ponyboys little brother and were close in age, just a two year difference, the two of you naturally became close

you told each other everything, however it could be a problem sometimes since he was more emotional than you, and at times you hardly showed any feelings

even acting cold towards people if they pissed you off for some reason

you had a temper but tried not to yell at anyone you were close to, not wanting to say something you didn’t mean

but you felt a very wide range of emotions, even very extreme ones like getting angry to the point of hurting others

you were insulted easily, so ponyboy always back you up and stand up for you if someone said something rude, or something you interpreted as disrespectful

you showed your care for your brother in little ways, like helping him with his homework or bringing him a glass of water, slipping money into his pocket when going out, etc

ponyboy loved you even though you were hard to reason with, you had strong opinions and wouldn’t back down from them, if he had to say one negative word that described you, he would say ‘stubborn’

but he loves being around you because of how loyal you are, you would always stand up for others if you truly loved them

JOHNNY CADE

you were with johnny in the lot, talking with each other about some funny things that happened with the gang, him giggling while you kept a straight face

even though he was supposed to be ponyboy’s best friend since they were closer in age, he decided to befriend you so you two could become closer, to understand each other more

he always had a sad look in his eyes, while you had a look that made people think you had no purpose in life, but in a ‘nothing’ type of way

so when johnny told you “oh, uh, your classmate came up to me today. i know you probably don’t wanna hear this, but she made up a rumor about you. said you beat up a first grader or something and that you’re a horrible person..” you bet your ass you were furious

johnny looked at you, both of you still walking around the lot, and your eyes were suddenly filled with hate

“hmm..” you mumbled, not saying anything after, your fists clenched in anger

you didn’t say anything, you didn’t want to burst out at him, so you said, “i think i need some quiet.”

he knew you would say this when you were angry, not wanting to be rude and say something you didn’t mean, so he stayed quiet

a few minutes later, you said “thank you for telling me.” and started up another conversation

he always appreciated how you would thank people, you were polite but were willing to be rude if your friends were being bullied

johnny would always try to invite you to hangouts, and you would always accept, he considered you one of the more mature ones of the group even though you were the youngest

whenever he looked at you, your eyes would be filled with nothing, as if your eyes were dead, and if they weren’t, your eyes would be filled with hate

but he knew you were going through much more, you felt more than how other people felt, emotions were heightened but you didn’t show it

johnny realized you cared about him when you beat up a soc, who was nearly suffocating him, putting the soc in a chokehold and taking him off of your friend

pushing the soc onto the ground, you grabbed johnny by the back of his denim jacket and ran

you were smart, smarter than others and you used your head

he loved that about you, you were loyal, the fact that you were so loyal had scared him too, knowing that if he ever did something to piss you off, you could fuck him up

but you wouldn’t, you cared too much

SODAPOP CURTIS

you and soda were at the DX, you decided to hang out there after school because you wanted to do homework there and read

when you saw soda’s ex girlfriend, you glared at her, hatred in your eyes, a cold gaze on her

“soda, you bitch! you’re so fucking terrible, ugly ass whore, you’re a dumbass too!! you, telling people about how i cheated on you?! this is supposed to be between us, dipshit—“ she got cut off because you punched her in the face

no one else was in the shop, so you felt free to do whatever

“y/n, stop! oh wait no one’s here, never mind.” your brother said

you grabbed her by her hair and dragged her out of the DX, telling her, “don’t fucking diss my brother again, i can do more than just punch you.”

she ran away, tears in her eyes, and you walked back into the DX, a blank expression on your face again

soda asked you why you punched her, you replied with, “she was talking shit about you, did you not hear?” an annoyed tone to your voice

he looked at you and said, “oh, yeah… thanks, sis.”

you nodded and didn’t reply, went back to doing your homework

he admired how you were good at school, better than he ever was, and you were younger than ponyboy

he tried to get closer to you emotionally even though you wouldn’t let many people get close, always pushing them away before you could

you felt empty inside, not in a sad way, but in a ‘whatever’ way, still hoping for something more

that’s how he felt too, and he knew, so he tried to bring you food or hang out with you more so you could feel better

you were so loyal, to the point of hurting someone else if they were rude to the people you were close to

he didn’t know how to describe you, he would see you as cold sometimes, but in the dally type of way

not in the hating everyone type of way, but the protective ‘don’t let anyone in’ way

he would defend you when others would say you’re weird, not just because you were his sister but because he truly cared about you

DARRY CURTIS

you were out, and it was 2am, walking back home

you were previously ‘busy’ at a restaurant, you had snuck in to do homework because you didn’t want to do it at home

you totally lost track of time, and before you knew it, everyone was gone and the outside was dark

you walked home with your backpack, not being nervous even though hardly any light was out, the only source being the street lights

when you were within a block of your house, you saw the lights were on, and you sighed

you walked into the living room and closed the door, seeing darry on the recliner, putting the phone down

he got up and you backed up, speaking loudly, “where the hell have you been!? it’s nearly three, you better have a good reason why you were out. plus, it’s a school night.”

you stared at him, replying with, “i don’t have a good reason why i was out. i was doing homework and lost track of time.”

you didn’t blink, and he started speaking louder, walking towards you slowly with a mad look on his face

you didn’t back up, wanting him to think you didn’t care, but he said, “it’s not safe for you to be outside after dark. you have to be inside, in the damn house by 12. you know what the hell happened to that girl a few blocks down, don’t you? you don’t even have a switchblade in your pocket, how are you gonna protect yourself, huh? huh!?”

your throat closed up and tears slowly formed in your eyes, so you quietly said, “it won’t happen again.” and walked away, your head down, soda looking at you

you went to your room and sat on the bed, staring at the floor, sighing

you felt like darry didn’t care about you sometimes, but you know he did deep down, he was just hard on you because you cared so much

you heard a knock on your door, and the door opened slowly, darry coming into the room

he looked at you for a few seconds, trying to observe you, but knowing it was impossible because you had the same expression all the time, emptiness

“i just get worried about you sometimes, im sorry i… almost yelled at you. i don’t want that to happen again, though.” he said, and you nodded, looking down at the floor again

he walked in your direction, sitting next to you on your bed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and kissing your forehead, saying, “you’re a good kid, y/n.”

he got up off the bed, walking out the door and going into his own

he would worry about you constantly, never knowing whether you were okay or not

the two of you acted the same at times, both with cold eyes and showed love in difficult ways

he would try to bond with you over homework, he would always check it and congratulate you when you would get it right, baking with you, etc, just so you would maybe show emotion

DALLAS WINSTON

you were at the police station for getting into a fight with one of your classmates, breaking a boy’s nose because he was talking shit about your brother, ponyboy

a policeman told you to call someone, so you called the curtis number, but no one picked up

so you called dally’s number, knowing he had experience in this situation

he answered, and you told him, “dally, can you pick me up at the station?” with a flat voice

he replied with, “i’ll be there in ten.” and hung up

ten minutes later, the doors swung open and he stormed in, asking loudly, “where the hell is y/n curtis?”

a policeman sighed and asked you, “you asked dallas winston to pick you up?” and you nodded, he scoffed and motioned you to go to dally

the two of you walked out of the station, him driving you to your house

“the fuck were you in there for?” he asked with concern

“beat up a kid in my class for talking shit about pony.” you replied, looking out of the window

he nodded, knowing you would get overwhelmed sometimes, causing you to act aggressive

the two of you had that in common, you were fine with beating people up if they were talking shit about someone you knew

he felt bad for you at times, you never looked like you had emotions, and he assumed you had none for a while, you were tough, too tough for your age

he’d try to calm you down at times, even though you were stubborn, so you wouldn’t do anything you’d regret

he cared for you as he cared for johnny, you needed to be loved, like how even dally needed to be loved

TWO-BIT MATTHEWS

he was at the curtis house with the gang when you came in, backpack on and flowers in your hand

“hey sis, how was school?” soda asked, and two-bit teased, “yeah, and why do you have flowers? someone like you, huhhhh???”

“school was fine. i have flowers because a boy gave them to me.” you said, and two-bit ‘oooo’d, “as a joke.” you continued

“shit, you serious? did you beat him up?” he asked, and you nodded, saying you got sent home early

you sat next to him, he was on the couch so you sat on his left, he had chocolate cake on his lap

“want some?” he asked, and you shook your head, knowing you could get more if you wanted some

the two of you stared at the screen of the tv, mickey mouse playing, he laughed and looked at you, seeing your blank expression, not blinking

“you okay?” he asked, taking a pause from watching mickey mouse and eating cake, putting down the fork, looking at you with worry

you nodded, and he asked once again, “you sure? you don’t ever seem to show that much emotion..”

you stared at the tv, saying, “i just don’t feel much sometimes. but you should know i do care. about a lot. i don’t look like i show emotion, im guessing.”

he stared at you, feeling remorse for asking you the question in the first place, apologizing

he always tries to make jokes in order to try to get you to smile or show an expression other than nothing

two-bit realized you cared about him more than he thought when you called him keith, and telling him he should stop drinking, that he might die early and he shouldn’t want being drunk to be his normal

you would talk to him about emotions, even though it was rare, he would always be happy that you were opening up

he understood emotions better than the rest of the gang, which is something you didn’t expect, but you didn’t tell him that

he would give you advice, he had already been through a lot but was a loving person

STEVE RANDLE

steve and soda were at the DX, working while you were secretly in the back, doing your homework

steve was about to go on his break when he went into the back, seeing your back facing him, hearing you writing something

“y/n? the hell are you doing here, shouldn’t you be at home?” he asked

“no one’s home.” you replied, not even looking at him

the conversation ended there, and he walked back to soda, who was at the cashier, telling him about what just happened

“hey, uh, your sisters in the back doing homework. do you know why she’s here?” he asked your brother

he looked at steve, saying, “i’m guessing no one was home. i don’t know why she’s here though.” he looked into the back, seeing you finishing up your packet of homework

steve asked your brother if you were okay, and soda went on a rant, saying, “i have no idea, man.. i feel bad, we don’t talk much. i mean, i know she’s my sister and all but we don’t seem close, like, at all. she doesn’t seem close to anyone.. just does her own thing, but she has a lot of great qualities. she’s a good person, but i really worry about her, man.. she won’t talk to me about things.” he paused, “i know this might seem like a lot, and you don’t have to… but do you think you could talk to her? ask how she’s doing?”

steve thought for a second and nodded, walking into the back and sitting on the counter where you were doing your work

“hey, uh, you okay? i’m getting off work in a bit, i can walk you home.” he hesitantly said

you looked up from your paper, staring at him for a couple seconds and saying, “sure.”

a few minutes later, he came into the back and told you, “hey get packed up, i’ll get you home.”

you grabbed your backpack and walked to the front, soda mumbling a “hey” and bringing you into an embrace, but you didn’t know how to respond

you awkwardly patted his back, and when he let go, you and steve walked home

two girls walked past you, both socs and not where they were supposed to be

they giggled and said, “god, why are they dressed like that? stupid hoods..” and you looked back at them, stopping in your tracks

you made eye contact with one of the girls and walked towards her, punching her in the face, her head going back and her friends eyes going wide, jaw dropping and gasping, hands going over her mouth

she grabbed her friend and the two of them ran back to their car, not looking back at you

you walked back to steve and continued walking to your house, he asked you, “why the fuck did you do that?”

“they were talking shit about us.” you replied, and didn’t say anything else, eyes concentrated on what was around you, observing

he thanked you for standing up for him and yourself, saying you could’ve handled it better though

you looked up and glared at him, looking down and thinking, ‘the fuck else was i supposed to do? i just helped him, god..’ but not saying it out loud

you got frustrated at times, and he understood that well

but that one interaction with you helped him make up his mind, that you were a true friend and were loving

you didn’t consider him a friend, and he didn’t consider you a friend either, but the two of you would protect each other and stand up for each other

authors note: i’m so sorry i’ve been posting late!! i’ve been really occupied but im trying my best to post

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