#So have whatever this is

[mint-termsandconditions]

The Simplification Of A Motherf*cker

Bonus:

#kirby #kirby oc #waddle dee oc #waddle dee #Rope MF #kirby ocs #I want to get to other works of mines but I’m suffering from a burnout #So have whatever this is #I could’ve made him a circle but Rope MF gives off more square energy tbh

[gamma-rae]

This ain't no hymn, this ain't no hymn This ain't no warning to run from sin This ain't no dagger for sticking in So let me be, so let me be I'll follow someone that I can see I'll worship someone that I can be

#this was gonna be my attempt at a DA:I tarot card but i can't really paint well enough to replicate that style #so have whatever this is #lyrics are from This Ain't No Hymn by Saint Saviour #Dungeons and Dragons #DnD #DnD Art #fantasy #gith #githyanki #fighter #barbarian #Maz'shirza'teth #Heroes of Legend 2

[lohstandfound]

Royal Pains brain rot got me writing a thing.

"you're better off without them"

Rich and Brooke observe another Jake and Chloe break up, once again trying to urge them that they're better off apart- despite knowing that it won't work. No matter how much it hurts.

“You’re better off without her.”

Rich sits across from Jake.

Jake’s tears have long since dried and they sit in silence, the only sound is Jake’s ragged breathing. It’s always bad when they break up, but Rich is always there to piece him together.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Jake sniffs and shakes his head. “No.”

That’s always the answer. But Rich always knows what’s running through Jake’s head, anyway.

It’s routine, by now.

They break up. Jake calls Rich. Rich is by his side almost immediately. Jake is crying (and he hates that he still cries over her but goddammit it still hurts every single time). Rich sits with him.

Rich sighs.

“You can’t keep doing this, dude.”

Jake doesn’t respond. He doesn’t look at Rich.

Jake knows that Rich is right, but he doesn’t want to let her go.

It’s intoxicating.

And he knows its not good for him but he can’t stop. Her claws are dug too deep into his shoulders, he can’t imagine them not.

He can’t remember what it’s like to not be in her grasp.

Rich didn’t expect Jake to respond.

“You’re better off without her,” he tries quietly.

“I’m not.”

Rich frowns.

“Jake…”

“I’m not. I need her. I need her, god, Rich. I need her.”

Rich is silent for a moment.

“I don’t- I don’t know what to do without her. I can’t just let her go.”

“She hurts you. You go back to her and she hurts you all over again. And it breaks you every time.”

“It doesn’t.”

Rich knows that Jake doesn’t want to hear this. He’s tried this conversation before.

“Jakob, you’re not good for her. She’s not good for you-”

“Who are you to decide what’s good for me and what isn’t?” Jake snaps.

Rich doesn’t flinch.

He doesn’t shy away from the glare that’s turned on him.

“Your friend.”

The word pains him.

“I care about you too much to watch you destroy yourself like this.”

Jake turns away from him.

Rich knows that this is the end of the conversation for now. But god, he wants to talk more.

He wants to plead with Jake to let her go.

He wants Jake to see how much he’s destroyed himself over her.

He wants Jake to see the damage they’ve done to each other.

He wants Jake to see that he’s right there in front of him.

He wants Jake to see what they could be.

But Rich knows he won’t. So, he’ll continue to piece Jake back together as carefully as he can.

“Do you want me to stay?”

There is no hesitation in Jake’s nod.

Rich hesitates, his hand moves forward to take Jake’s.

But he doesn’t.

If Jake noticed the small action, he doesn’t say anything.

“I’ll stay.”

======================

“You’re better off without him.”

Brooke sits cross-legged on Chloe’s bed, watching as she paces around the room.

She’s on edge. She can see the tears building up in Chloe’s eyes but she doesn’t know if she’s going to scream or yell or cry.

She’s been through this before.

And she knows Chloe.

She knows to treat this situation like she’s walking on eggshells.

“Chlo?” She speaks softly.

Brooke knows that it’ll snap Chloe out of her head. Brooke knows that Chloe’s attention will zone in on her. Brooke knows that she’s going to be the recipient of every horrible thing she has to say about him. And Brooke knows she will sit here and take it.

Chloe will take it out on her, and she will let it roll off her shoulders because it’s better than Chloe taking it out on anyone else.

And it’s better than Chloe running back to him.

As predicted, Chloe’s venomous glare turns to her.

“I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him so fucking much. He can fucking rot in hell for all I care. Why should I care? He’s nothing but a fucking prick.”

Brooke nods idly.

Starting with yelling.

Brooke listens as Chloe spouts off every insult she’s ever used for him.

And she agrees, because she doesn’t want to make it worse by saying she’s wrong about him.

Chloe screamed and she yelled and half the things she said weren’t true.

And she could never truly hate him.

She was wrapped around his finger and she liked it that way.

He was always there to make her feel good,

Feel wanted.

His rough lips on her neck and his careful touch,

She could never get enough of it.

When she was the centre of his attention, it was intoxicating.

She felt wanted, needed, complete.

It wasn’t healthy, god it wasn’t good.

But she just couldn’t help herself.

She couldn’t remember a time where Jake wasn’t all hers.

Brooke watches as the tears well up in Chloe’s eyes.

The crying step will come soon.

Chloe collapsed on the bed next to Brooke.

Brooke carefully wrapped Chloe up in her arms as she cried.

Brooke wouldn’t say anything as Chloe cried.

She wouldn’t comment on the tears.

Instead, she just held Chloe as her heart ached, listening to Chloe curse him out again and again.

Brooke knew the words she said could switch Chloe right back to screaming at her.

But they were words that Chloe needed to hear.

“You’re better off without him, Chlo. You don’t need him. You don’t need his attention to make you feel better. You’re more than enough without him.”

“You just- You don’t understand, Brooke. I need him! I need him, but god I hate his fucking guts.”

“Chloe, you destroy him and yourself and everyone around you when you’re with him.”

And Brooke knew what it was like to destroy yourself for someone else.

“We’re supposed to be together, Brooke! He’s mine, I’m his. That’s how it’s supposed to go. That’s how the story always goes. We’re good for each other!”

But Brooke’s words were true, and Chloe knew it.

Chloe wasn’t ready to admit that.

Of course, Brooke knew that.

But she would keep waiting for the day Chloe realised that she didn’t need him.

She would keep waiting for the day that Chloe would open her eyes and see what was right in front of her.

Maybe Chloe rejecting her would hurt less than watching Chloe try to hold herself together after every single breakup.

Until then,

Brooke would hold Chloe as she cried, listen to Chloe as she screamed, and watched as they would get back together and destroy themselves all over again.

#lohst.txt #bmc #be more chill #jake dillinger #chloe valentine #rich goranski #brooke lohst #royal pains #richjake #pinkberry #lara stop writing fics in a poetic form challenge #did i proofread this before posting? #nah #i couldnt figure out how i wanted to end the brooke and chloe part #so have whatever this is #jake and chloe mourning their destructive relationship #brooke and rich putting them back together and desperately hoping they will acknowledge how bad they are together #but brooke loves chloe too much and rich loves jake too much so they will go through this over and over and over again #because what else can they do? #this could be.... so much better #but it is 1.15am and i am tired and i needed to just get this out #i would like to say i'll edit it later #but ill probably forget

[whirlwiinded]

He's passed out. Wedged into a half empty mug as he sleeps.

#🍏IC #🍏open starter #I ended up passing out as well #but I still wanna continue this #so have whatever this is

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

meditations on first philosophy (1641) - rene descartes

"who give a shit"

#rene descartes #ok #so this is a reference to that post #bc i cant stop saying it #sorry i havent been active #ive been working on an opera #and have been having like p bad health issues #but its ok #learning to crochet a minecraft frog #idk if itll be like any good #whatever life is love anyway #blackout poem #blackout poetry #author #book #poetry

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

#due to the Great Data Decay academics write viciously argumentative articles on which episodes aired in what order #at conferences professors have known to engage in physically violent altercations whilst debating the air date number of household viewers #90% of the couch gags have been lost and there is a billion dollar trade in counterfeit “lost copies” #serious note: i'll be honest i always assumed it was english imperialism that made shakespeare so inescapable in the 19th/20th cent #like his writing should have become obscure at the same level of his contemporaries #but british imperialists needed an ENGLISH LANGUAGE (and BRITISH) writer to venerate #and shakespeare wrote so many damn things that there was a humongous body of work just sitting there waiting to be culturally exploited... #i know it didn't happen like this but i imagine a English Parliament House Committee Member For The Education Of The Masses or something #cartoonishly stumbling over a dusty cobwebbed crate labelled the Complete Works of Shakespeare #and going 'Eureka! this shall make excellent propoganda for fabricating a national identity in a time of great social unrest. #it will be a cornerstone of our elitist educational institutions for centuries to come! long live our decaying empire!' #'what good fortune that this used to be accessible and entertaining to mainstream illiterate audience members... #..but now we can strip that away and make it a difficult & alienating foundation of a Classical Education! just like the latin language :)' #anyway maybe there's no such thing as the 'greatest writer of x language' in ANY language? #maybe there are just different styles and yes levels of expertise and skill but also a high degree of subjectivity #and variance in the way that we as individuals and members of different cultures/time periods experience any work of media #and that's okay! and should be acknowledged!!! and allow us to give ourselves permission to broaden our horizons #and explore the stories of marginalized/underappreciated creators #instead of worshiping the List of Top 10 Best (aka Most Famous) Whatevers Of All Time/A Certain Time Period #anyways things are famous for a reason and that reason has little to do with innate “value” #and much more to do with how it plays into the interests of powerful institutions motivated to influence our shared cultural narratives #so i'm not saying 'stop teaching shakespeare'. but like...maybe classrooms should stop using it as busy work that (by accident or designs) #happens to alienate a large number of students who could otherwise be engaging critically with works that feel more relevant to their world #(by merit of not being 4 centuries old or lacking necessary historical context or requiring untaught translation skills) #and yeah...MAYBE our educational institutions could spend less time/money on shakespeare critical analysis and more on... #...any of thousands of underfunded areas of literary research i literally (pun!) don't know where to begin #oh and p.s. the modern publishing world is in shambles and it would be neat if schoolwork could include modern works? #beautiful complicated socially relevant works of literature are published every year. it's not just the 'classics' that have value #and actually modern publications are probably an easier way for students to learn the basics. since lesson plans don't have to include the #important historical/cultural context many teens need for 20+ year old media (which is older than their entire lived experience fyi)

[cardentist]

hey, so people need to be aware that youtube is now (randomly) holding basic features for ransom (such as being able to pin comments under your own videos) in exchange for Your State ID/Drivers License, or a 30 Second Video Of Your Face.

not to pull a "think of the children," but No Actually. I've been making videos as a hobby since 2015 (and I've had my channel since middle school), I was a minor when I started and I'm not sure I would have understood the kind of damage something a seemingly simple as a video of your face can do.

this is a Massive breach of privacy and over-reach on google's part No Matter What, but if they're going to randomly demand a state ID or license then they absolutely should not allow minors to be creators.

google having a stockpile of identifying information on teenagers is bad enough, but the Alternative of recording your face and handing it over to be filed away is Alarming considering it opens the gates for minors who Aren't old enough to have a license.

and yes, there is a third option, but it's intentionally obtuse. a long wait period (2 months), with no guarantee of access (unlike, say, the convenience of using your phone's cameras for either of the other two), with absolutely No elaboration on what the criteria is or how it's being measured.

it's the same psychological effect that mobile games rely on. offer a slow, unreliable solution with no payment to make the Paid instant gratification look more appealing (the "payment" in this case being You. you are the product being offered).

and it's Particularly a system that (I think intentionally) disadvantages people who don't treat their channels like a job. hobbyists or niche creators who don't create regularly enough or aren't popular enough to meet whatever Vague criteria needs to be met to pass.

markiplier would have no problem passing, your little brother might not be able to. and while Mark's name is already out there there's no reason why your little brother's should be too.

something like pinned comments may seem simple, you don't technically Need it. but it's a feature that's been available for years. most people don't look at descriptions anymore. so when there's relevant information that needs to be delivered then the pinned comment is usually the go to.

for my little channel that information is about the niche series I create for. guides on how to get into the series, sources on where to find the content At All (and reliably so). for other creators it can be used for things Much More Important.

Moreover, if we let them get away with cutting away "small" features and selling it back to you for the price of your privacy, then they Will creep further. they Will take more.

Note: I have an update to this post here: [Link]

#enshittification #discourse #youtube #google #evillious chronicles #evillious #ec #this isn't overtly About that fandom #but it is #because it affects how I'm able to run my channel going forwards #I have no clue if I'm going to pass whatever 'test' they're giving my channel #so it's possible there won't be any pinned comments under the tobimisa channel ever again #I won't be able to edit old ones either #as that unpins the comment #which I won't be able to pin again

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[voltaical-art]

HE WAS SEVENTEEN. AGHHH ULDER WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU

#bg3 #wyll ravengard #baldur's gate 3 #ulder ravengard #i am having so many Thoughts and Feelings about wyll and his fucking father #his dialogue abt him is so heartbreaking 'Did he ever miss me?' RAGHHH #man the game this would be if they actually explored this with wyll>>>> #whatever ill just do it myself

[bastardiando]

posting across the targetverse here bc it did numbers on twitter

#across the spiderverse #spiderverse #miguel o'hara #hobie brown #im posting my art here from now onnnnn #maybe ill make a sideblog thats art only who knows. #bastardibujando #< thats my art tag btw. no i dont remeber what it was before so whatever art i have posted here is gone forever #hi for the love of god hello anyone wanna talk about spiderverse. #og post

[greyias]

Oh look, it seems everyone has been opted into the unfortunate "experiment" now. For everyone who has been blissfully using the old UI up until now, welcome to hell :)

Do you not like hell? Do you want to leave and crawl back up into the sunlight of the old UI? Well, have I got a link for you! A beautiful tumblr user (who is not me) has gone and fixed things beautifully for you already: https://github.com/enchanted-sword/dashboard-unfucker

You will need to have Tampermonkey installed on your browser of choice, and once that's done, just go to the github link above, and peruse the readme to install. And voila! You have your old dash back!

The authors of XKit Rewritten said during the experiments that at the time, since this was an "experiment" they weren't going to implement anything to revert to the old UI (although who knows if they'll do it now). And the dashboard unfucker has worked beautifully enough for me to where I genuinely couldn't tell if they had ended the experiment or not.

#EDIT: pinning this for a few days so muts can find it if needed #EDIT: but also because i'm muting notifications because my phone is now dying #i foresee me possibly having to mute the notifications on this post #but whatever #(update: my prediction came true faster than i anticipated before i could even fix link mistakes or typos 🤷‍♀️ SORRY) #(when posts you make for your muts get a little further out than expected) #psa for anyone who the new ui winds up bothering #here's a way to basically revert to ye olden times

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

#fanfic #ao3 #archive of our own #fandom things #tumblr things #i may have said this at some point #i'm sure i have #but whatever - just in case #i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics #but just if anyone is so inclined that's all #ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog #i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting #but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen #not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy #at least of fics bc i save everything #not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about #that i've made or done and only posted here #anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today #i have plans to stare into the void now

[justarandomart]

Maybe Steven Universe wasn’t the best show to watch

#the owl house #toh #steven universe #luz noceda #hunter noceda #vee noceda #toh hunter #toh vee #comic #the owl house fanart #ive been rewatching steven universe so have this messy comic #the panels look a bit weird but whatever #NRart

[tawaifeddiediaz]

you know what boils my blood.

over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."

i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.

but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.

today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.

the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.

so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.

#zee rambles #this isn't to guilt trip anyone #but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever #and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too?? #we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it #now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people #but that doesn't mean its gone #that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it #honestly i just needed a lil rant #and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it #also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd

[kithj]

good games i've played on itchio lately:

please tell me you love me - chat with your guild members for the last time before the game's servers are shut down

GIRLKILLER (covet) - there is a girl who looks like you, and today you're going to kill her

cover me in leaves - stuck in your small hometown, you get your first tattoo. and then a few more, and more, and more

don't rock the boat - play through the different perspectives of a women's crew team as they are stalked by something in the water

GUTLESS - you are the captain of a deep sea vessel. your mission doesn't go well

so, about last night... - you wake up sick and weirdly hungry after hooking up with someone at a party. you spend the next night trying to find her.

close the window, my love - short bitsy poem about closing the window. sound on! this creator has a lot of short bitsy works i recommend.

there is a beautiful star - just a short, cute side scroller. lots of short, lighthearted games from them, definitely recommend for a mood booster.

#these are all p short except for so about last night gutless and rock the boat #still not super long tho #these are all on my itch page too but whatever lmfao #also cringe i feel so awkward writing descriptions but i dont really have a lot to say personally #except. Good Game 👍 #also sorry recommending gutless a second time sue me #i think girlkiller is my favorite atm... i like the ambiguity in that one and two different endings #games

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

#mlp #yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia. #yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show #but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!! #i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse #in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character #personal #delete later #unless you like this analysis stuff #i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did #cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her #mother and father as a teenager #i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased #but i'll put some in the tags #involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity #anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention #(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff #long post #regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at #a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up