#SO READY FOR SEASON 3 OH MY GODDDD

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

You talking abt drag queen stevie is giving me life bc for weeks the scenario of her enetering drag race has been playing in my mind. Like she's an old queen, an established name, people know her and when she eneters the girlies are gagged bc that's her!!!(i wrote Life Is Ours We Live It Our Way so drag queen Stevie will always be Princess Dingus to me <3).

And like the first mini challenge is a photo shoot and then they're all getting out of drag and while many have seen Stevie out of drag no one has really seen her get in and out of drag and they're all just shooketh as all these scars are revealed. I'm specifically thinking about the confessionals of another queen going like "I look over and Princess Dingus is wiping off her make up and she's just covered in scars. Bad ones. And im over here thinking like, girl, what the hell happened to you."

The competition goes on etc etc, I think Stevie wouldn't mention the scars at first, just go on. She's like one of the bitchy queens that is actually really sweet, think Bianca Del Rio (season 6). She of course has adopted one of the younger queens of the season. Then the producers push bc of drama so when they're getting ready, one of the other queens asks: "Who is that?" in regards to a picture with Eddie.

And Stevie will be like : "That's my husband." and everyone is of course saying how cute they look together whatever and then someone asks how they get together and Stevie just tells them: "We got held my a serial killer together back in '86 and then managed to escape during the earthquake that hit our town."

Like can you imagine the drama, the big eyes, the reactions. Just aghhh i love drag queen Stevie

!!!! holy shit i love life is ours!!!!!! one of the best Gender stevie fics out there, big fan!!!

and oh my godddd i love this, i think like. tv would love to milk her whole 'oh im scarred and thought i wasn't beautiful but drag made me feel better about myself :')' storyline and stevies just like. i mean. okay. do what you gotta for $100,000 ig (i feel like she wouldn't win but she would get miss congeniality bc even if she's kind of a bitch she just CANNOT turn off her mom energy)

also when the show comes out every week someone has to tie rob and eddie to chairs and lock their phones away for at least three days or else they'll start Ungodly Twitter Feuds over like. one slightly mean comment someone makes to stevie. god help whoever knocks her out of the competition

#steddie #steve harrington #stranger things #drag queen steve harrington

[wouldvecouldveshouldve]

S3 Ep 6 Thoughts (AHS Coven)

Okay long flashbackkkk lets go

the intro music for all the seasons always hits idk why

YES ZOE WRANGLE THE GIRLS INTO HELPING YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MADISONNNN

ouija board time :]

NO GIRLS DONT BE SCARED QUEENIE NAN DONT FAIL US LIKE THISSSS

cordelia! dump the mans ass! men are BAD cheating men are WORSE you went BLIND and he does this to you? begone thot

oh my god poor zoe finding madisons dead body FIONA WHY DID YOU KILL HERRRR DUMB WITCH

yes zoe! torture spalding!

OH MY GODDDD MISTY DAY LOML <3 LOOK AFTER KYLE YES YES <3

kyle is my zombie bf y'all

wait kyle nO don't murder the radio it did nothing to you! we get that ur traumatized but dont break stevie nicks :(

OMG YAY ZOE CAME TO TAKE MISTY AND KYLE BACK TO THE COVEN TO SAVE MADISON

madisons back bbg

CORDELIAS CHEATING BF IS A WITCH HUNTER??? HELL NAH

honestly misty so fair that shes not taking kyle, my poor swamp witch gf

misty getting bad vibes in the house girl this is american horror story it doesnt get better from here

WHO IS CORDELIA GEYTING ALL SEXY FOR maybe i just dont remember this man

madison babys awakeeeeee (and ofc she remembers her 2 teen choice awards how cool of her)

OH CORDELIA WAS JUST GETTING READY FOR BED BUT THERES A RANDOM MAN IN HER ROOM WITH AN AXE??? OH HELL NAH

oh shit he knows she's a witch oh fuck

OH HES A CRAZY BATHSIT GHOST WHO WANTS TO BE RELEASED FROM THE HOUSE!?!??!?

SIR STOP SWINGING THE AXE AT MY POOR GIRL

YEAH ZOE CAST THOSE SPELLLSSSSSSS

NAN QUEENIE AND ZOE WORKING TOGETHERRR <3

yeah BEGONE get cast away bitch

okay back to fiona bitch whats going on with you

oh her hairs falling out! Oh she has cancer!

Chug that cocktail girl it might be the last one you have left

oh ew spirit guys back? why's hetrying to flirt with old fiona here?

END OF EPISODE????

thoughts: okay this was a very chaotic episode - very scattered, cutting to different characters a lot, but like im understanding more of it. zoe was VERY interested in what could have happened to madison, and girlie was determined to help her - nan and queenie were scared to mess with the ouija board but like it helped them find madisons dead body so woo??? I kinda want them to let zoe's powers play into the series a bit more, since they've focused on nan's ability to hear people's thoughts and queenie's voodoo doll energy. what else ummmm Oh it was great to see misty and kyle, but we kinda see how kyle's reacting to the trauma of his mom by lashing out at misty when he's bathed. i rlly want zoe to take more care of him tho, since misty's kinda given up. RIP the fleetwood mac radio. a shame that misty didnt stay at the coven house though! cordelia's rlly going through it with the blindness, her husband cheating on her AND a spirit trying to hurt her??? poor girl! Rest in piss starling although you kinda suck. And fuck fiona bro, she can go die of old age! imagine killing madison just because she's about to take your place as head witch!

#kay watches ahs: coven #i know i didnt talk about murder house or asylum enough but im doing this thing where i get all my thoughts out about the show now #so heres my documented thoughts on each episode

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP42 SPOILERS!

ep42 live reactions!! LETS GOOOO!!!

- this episode title is so dumb agsjk

- listening to the intro between classes. lets see how this goes

- ITS FUCKING FAMILY GUY. OFC

- OKAY NOW IM ACTUALLY GONNA SIT DOWN AND LISTEN

- idk a lot about dnd classes but the thought of them changing the teens classes makes me sad. taylor is the COOL ANIME LOVING RANGER TEEN!!!

- TAYLOR JUST TAKES AFTER RON NOW LMAO

- TAYLOR SWIFT THE ONE ROGUE HATER IN THE WORLD

- LINCOLN M KICKS ILY SO BAD i actually got scared for a sec that matt was gonna end his soccer dreams. NEVER!!!!

- WILL AT THE PIANO HELP

- beth sounds like shes sick :[ or just really tired but that makes sense bc of the tour

- NEW RON FACT????? OMG

- HOLY SHIT HOLYSHIT SO WE ARE GETTING NPC FACTS OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HWMRIE FACT OH MY GODDDD IM SCREAMIHN

- "is it normal" IM GONNA BE SICK.

- HOLY FUCK. HOLY FUCK. HE REALLY DOES EVERYTHING FOR HIS FUCKINF DAD. THIS IS SOOOOO AAAUGHHGH

- IM NEVER GONNA GET OVER THIS GUYS

- ANTHONY FORGETTING ABOUT HENRY

- NORMAL HELPING HIS FRIENDS W HIS ESSENTIAL OILS MY BABY

- JOEY LUNCHMONEY.

- WILL CAMPOS WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED FOR HENRY. I AM SHAKING IN MY BOOTS

- NORMAL AND LINC ARGUING OVER WHOSE GRANDPA IS BETTER AWW

- BILLY TALLBOY these are some speaker travis level names

- MATT HEARD "ROLL DANGER" HELPP

- HERMIE MENTION 💪💪 lets hope its the first of many

- LOVING THE NORMAL/LINCOLN DYNAMIC THIS EPISODE

- I FORGOT ABOUT DOOD OOPS

- URINE HEAVEN. that shouldve been the episode title

- MATT DOING THE INSPIRATION CHANT FROM THE LIVE SHOWS KILLED ME FOR SOME REASON

- THE THRONE IS EMPTY. GODS NOT DEAD

- WHY IS PISS SUCH AN ESSENTIAL PART OF THIS SEASON

- looks like boss kicks is going back to being pissfoot again

- HERMIE HOLY FUCK ITS MY GUY

- IS HELL THE BATHROOM???

- ANTHONY AS THE DOLPHIN IS SO GOOD

- I THOUGHT THEY COULDNT GO BACK TO HELL THOUGH

- WAIT WHAT IF THEY SEE TERRY THERE

- WILL SCREAMING "WHAT" IM CRYING

- THIS FUCKING EPISODE MAN LMAOOO

- OH THERES ACTUALLY A SPIRIT HALLOWEEN REALM

- i HOPE they do something w hermie here THEYRE GETTING COSTUMES!!!

- THIS IS MAKING ME SO HYPED FOR HALLOWEEN

- OH NOOO THE COSTUMES ARE PERMANENT

- quite ironic that hermie isnt on board w the costumes thing

- also HERMIE/NORMAL INTERACTION!!! a tiny crumb for me :3

- ELDRITCH BLAST THE PEDOPHILE!!!!

- HERMIE JUST CHEERING THEM ON OFF TO THE SIDE

- LINCOLN MAY BE IN HEAVEN BUT THAT DUDES IN HELL RN MY GOD MULTIPLE DAYS???

- LINCOLNS GONNA FUCKING SNIPE THEM. LIKE FATHER LIKE SON

- LINCOLN IS BLOODIED FROM PISSING WTF IS THIS EPISODE

- DID MATT JUST SAY 16 + 4 = 19

- PISS MAN. IM ACTUALLY CRYING

- A SMOOTHIE?????(

- IM LAUGHING SM IT ACTUALLY HURTS

- NORMAL. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- HOW DID DARRYL DIE.

- HE FELL WHILE TAKING DOWN CHRISTMAS LIGHTS. WHY AM I ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY CRYING

- DARNELL FOUND HIM???

- HE KEEPS THE LIGHTS UP FOR GLENN. WAAAAAA

- they couldve talked to glenn while they were in hell..

- WHAT IS W THE NOODLES!!!

- THEYRE ABOUT TO SEE DARRYL AGAIN. OH MY GOD

- HES WAITING FOR HIS FAMILY AND GETTING EVERYTHING READY FOR THEM OH GOD IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

- GEANT. GRANT

- DARRYL GETTING ALL EXCITED TO SEE RON AGAIN I CANT STOP CRYING

- THEYRE GOING BACK TO GRANTS WEDDING DAY I CANT DO THIS

- "i cant be a dad" "i cant trust his judgement all the time bc he chose me" I AM GOING TO KMS

- GRANT WAS GONNA CALL OFF THE WEDDING BC HE CANT LOVE HIMSELF.

- SCAM????

- WAIT WHAT

- WHAT JUST HAPPENED

- I. WHAT RHE FUUUUCK WAS THAT EPISODE

- OKAY IM SO CONFUSED BY THAT BUT THAT WHOLE EPISODE WAS SO GOOD. I CRIED SM. FROM LAUGHTER AND SADNESS. WOW

#dndads #dndads spoilers #dndads s2 spoilers #siren says

[80smikewheeler]

SEASON 3 EPISODE TITLES !!!!!!!!

*Da da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da da, da da da da da da da da, duuuun dun dun dun dun...*

1. Suzie Do You Copy?

2. The Mall Rats

3. The Case of The Missing Lifeguard

4. The Sauna Test

5. The Source

6. The Birthday

7. The Bite

8. The Battle of Starcourt

In the summer of 1985, the adventure continues...

Coming 2019

#OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOOOODDDD!!!!! #AJSJSJSJSJSJDJDJ #IM SCREAMINGGGG!!!!! #AAAAAHAHH GUYYYYSSSS!!!!! #ITS ON ITS WAY TO US I CANNOY!!! #IM SO SO AOOOOO EXCITED IM SCREAMING #!!!!!!!!!! #AAAAAAAJ #IM YELLING #OH MY GOD!!!! #SO READY FOR SEASON 3 OH MY GODDDD #stranger things #stranger things season 3 #Stranger Things 3 #season 3 episode titles #!!!! #Stranger Things news #stranger things 3 news #stranger things updates #!!!!!!!! #DEAD

[a-lil-bi-furious]

omg i sent an ask for the ship ask thingy a while ago but completely forgot about it (i assumed it never arrived??) but now i remember and still.. need ...to .. know... opinion on stisaac and allydia?

Hi Anon! Tumblr would betray me and not deliver your ask?? 😱😠 Rude. I did not receive the first, but I am happy to answer this one. Sorry it took me a bit (school’s got me super busy rn), but hopefully you’ll still see this!

Stisaac

I don’t really ship Stisaac tbh, so I haven’t given them tons of thought? It would take some convincing for me to ship them romantically because their relationship in canon just felt like pure hostility on both ends to me. I do, however, see some potential there with the banter (add in even a tiny sprinkle of affection and we have something to work with). If they were to have a relationship, I can’t see them being all that serious or committed to it, and I have a hard time seeing it as a very healthy dynamic. They’d be like...the pair that people think are dating? Maybe? It’s kind of hard to tell when the only things that ever come out of their mouths are insults with very little outward affection (even though they both care at least somewhat, they just won’t admit it).

I think their dynamic in general is interesting, though, because they’re only really in the same circle because of Scott. And (in my opinion) some of their hostility is because Scott’s in the middle of them; he’s always been close with Stiles, but he’s starting to really bond with Isaac too. Scott has always been Stiles’ best friend, and for a long time it was just the two of them, and now suddenly there are all these other people around. And that’s great! They could both use some friends. But Isaac is living in Scott’s house and suddenly just seems to be everywhere Scott is. Stiles already wasn’t all that fond of the guy and now he’s getting all chummy with Scott and Scott is all chummy with Isaac. And he hates it. And Isaac knows he does. But look, Isaac wasn’t big on Stiles either and with the clear chip on his shoulder and all the insults Isaac is happy to just deflect that bitchiness right back. He couldn’t care less about what Stiles thinks of him. He kind of wishes he wasn’t around so much, though, practically marking Scott as his best friend territory. What I’m trying to say is (whatever the nature of their respective relationships with Scott) there’s some jealousy here.

The form of their relationship I’m most on board with is begrudging friends who somehow end up paired off a lot and hate it, but kinda, sorta, maybe, a little bit have grown more fond of each other. But that’s a secret for the grave. They’re frenemies. And hey, sure, maybe they’re frenemies who get a little hot and bothered and make out once. It’s not a big deal, okay? Stiles threatens Isaac in his very morbidly specific way about telling anyone it happened. Isaac quips that it wasn’t good enough to be worth telling. And then casually announces it hours later, entirely too pleased with himself. Lydia and Allison are so over this before it even starts, but ultimately decide to fan the fire. Poor Scott is ready to bash his head in with these two fighting. Again. (Afterward he never lets Stiles live it down. After all, what are best friends for if not to mercilessly lovingly harass each other?) I’m rambling nonsense at this point. What I’m trying to say is I see them as essentially rivals turned friends-ish. I don’t ship them, but I’m discovering this dynamic would be fun to play with in the love/hate, bantering sort of way. I could potentially be convinced to read fic with them given the right premise, but couldn’t see it/wouldn’t want it in canon.

Allydia

Now, Allydia. I don’t even know how to describe my feelings on this ship! I feel mystified by it, honestly. They both just have such wlw energy so much of the time, and it’s a damn shame Lydia never got a girlfriend. I always loved both Allison and Lydia individually, and I did love their friendship! They were never a pair that I really gave much thought while watching the show (specifically ship-wise) but I remember seeing a gif set once outlining their relationship, and was kind of like “ok but why the fuck not??”

I love pretty much any iteration of them, canon-compliant and not. I ship them romantically, platonically, queerplatonically; in a polyamorous relationship, as friends who dated but decided they were better as friends and are super close/supportive exes, mutually pining, unilaterally pining; in different AU situations like... dark!Allydia, (both) supernatural!Allydia, (both) hunters!Allydia, non-supernatural world Allydia, etc. etc. I am 👀 intrigued about pretty much any idea. I do prefer a healthy dynamic, so that’s for sure a constraint, but mostly I just...am more or less indifferent to the form of Allydia I get as long as I get it somehow and they’re close and love each other, whatever kind of love it is. I get so emotional sometimes about how much they bonded, and especially about their relationship in season 3. That’s where it really seemed to blossom in a genuine, reciprocal way. In seasons 1 and 2 I do think Lydia and Allison cared about each other, but they were both so focused on portraying an image/persona that sometimes genuine care in that relationship got overshadowed by superficiality. And they are such a power couple too! Oh my godddd the strength and the confidence and the skill and the intelligence and the sass...incredible. I also cry whenever I think about Allison dying, and Lydia feeling it and screaming for her. I just....they were so connected and they loved each other and I am sad. I haven’t read fic for them before, but I certainly would if recommended a good one. 

I think my overall preference for shipping Allydia is as a queerplatonic relationship--just “platonic” doesn’t seem to quite cover how they feel in the way that most people mean it, but there isn’t a romantic connection. (To be honest, Lydia strikes me as somewhere on the aromantic spectrum just in general.) But, yeah, no one quite understands them like the other does, and ultimately they want to go through life together. So they live together and build a life together. They’re open to date other people romanticlally/sexually (if either wants); they function as partners in every other way, just as they always have, really, since Lydia first spotted Allison and announced “You are my new best friend.” And maybe love at first sight does exist, but maybe it isn’t what everyone assumes it will be. Maybe there was something about that glance that said “come get to know me” and Lydia declared “I already do.” Maybe there’s so much focus on romantics that people miss it when true love in other forms passes them by. Not Lydia. She’s not one to let opportunities pass her, and, honestly, she isn’t one to wait for them to come along either. She creates her own; if she wants something she goes for it. She wants a relationship with Allison. She gets a relationship with Allison.  And hey, it works out wonderfully. No one is impaled by a sword, and they live out their long, happy life together. Yep. It’s decided.

(Send me ships and I’ll tell you if/how I ship them!)

#ty for the ask! <33 hoping my answer didn't come so late you miss it anon #Anonymous #Allydia #Stisaac #Stiles Stilinski #Isaac Lahey #Allison Argent #Lydia Martin #Ask Games

[osamuniichann]

BE Album

ok so uhh i do a thing every bts cb where i scream about the album and put my emotions down here so ignore this HAHA;; anyways finally BE is here and i couldnt be more happy ;A;

Life Goes On. We have miss life goes on, a title track that puts a lot of our feelings into one mv. the pining for the world to go back to the way it was, the disappointment of it all and how despite the world feeling like its stopped, in reality the seasons continue on like nothing. this year has been tough. a lot us have been sad, are going through things, etc. and god, i just wish it were all better. and u can see the boys’ view on it all and how they wish to do what they love most--perform for us and be on the stage. the visuals makes me feel so warm and makes me feel not so lonely;; this song feels like a reassuring hug hhh

Fly To My Room. Jimin’s and Tae’s tone is chef’s kiss idk the way how they sing is so captivating. But can i say that this song is so catchy and u cant help but bounce to the beat yenno?? and sope’s verses are making me ASCEND. It kinda has this reggae bop to it where i just wanna blast this at the beach LOL

Blue & Grey. Now listen i saw on my twt tl that everyone was sobbing to this and i immediately get it. i cried like a baby. the guitar? tae’s starting vocals lord have mercy; i stay bawling my eyes on my bed. “I just wanna be happier.” those words resonates so deep rn, i cant help but react to it that intensely. but honestly my absolute favorite part is the ending with that humming(?) melody at the end. it reminds me of whalien 52 and mono. it just resonates with me man idc idc

Skit. THEIR REACTIONS TO BILLBOARD AH IM SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF THEM. WELL DESERVED BOIS I LOVE YALL SO MUCH <3 the bleeps tho HAHAHA let them say fuck

Telepathy. Can we talk about the transition from sobbing in Blue & Grey to shaking ass in telepathy?? jfc they went off on this; i deadass was dancing in my room while folding clothes. a pick me up that i needed definitely holy fuck. can i dance with an s/o to this orrrrrrr

Dis-ease. THE LAYERS. THIS SHIT AN ONION THERE ARE LAYERS. the verse the flows the switch-ups i wasnt ready! the different types of directions this went oh my godddd. genius. it was just a continuous bop through and through!

Stay. Now this type of genre is never really my go-to but when bts do it, it always sounds good to me. i just know we all would jump like crazy at their concert wit this song. “Yeah I know you always stay” ur absolutely right sir, im in this bangtan sonyeondan shit for life

And we all know miss dynamite. we will light it up once again!

Overall this album was amazing as always. Let’s also recognize the fact that all the members worked hard on its art, music, directing, visuals, etc. and everything--it was completely self-produced. and they did amazing. they nailed it on the head and i couldn’t be more proud. these boys, who know nothing of us personally, will always create music and content that resonate to us as if we knew each other for years. and thats why ill always stan them. ever since hyyh pt 2 till now, ill always be bout this life yall

#bts #trish speaks #be album #IGNORE THIS PLEASE IM JUST LETTING OUT MY EMOTIONS LMAO #im self-indulging ok shhhhhh

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

GEARBOX THIS IS EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED THAAAAHAHAHAANK YOUUUUU

FUCK OKAY TRAILER BREAKDOWN BECAUSE I AM LOOOOOOSING MY FUCKING MIND OVER THIS TRAILER HOOOOOLY SHIT

POSSIBLE PSOILERS??? MAYBE? GOD DDDDDAYMN WHAT A WAY TO GET BACK INTO THE THEORY SCENE LMAO

SO FIRST OF ALL I’M NOT CERTAIN THIS IS RELATED TO THE BARMAN/SECOND STARS CULT QUEST I FOUND IN THE FILES AS SOME PEOPLE SUGGESTED, BUT I WILL ADMIT IT IS SUSPICIOUSLY SPECIFIC. MAINLY ABOUT A CULT AND THE FACT WE SEE A BAR HANGING OUT IN THE TRAILER, BUT HEY, I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE ASSUMPTIONS RIGHT NOW I AM JUST GOING TO ENJOY THIS WHILE I CAN

ANd breathe in

breathe okay

okay

im okay.

i’ve watched this trailer like 15 times already oh my god it’s so good. i wasnt so hyped about the casino dlc bc, like, i already spoiled myself on it BUT THIS IS (AS FAR AS WE KNOW) UNCHARTED TERRITORY AND

IT’S TECHNICALLY A WATER PLANET

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

okay

okay

i will stop using caps

for the most part

hhhhhhh

okay.

let’s just be calm. i got this

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THOUGH????

oh ym goD

the fucking lighthouse sent me. i just. i went feral for a solid hour and a half. just wheezing on my test. i fell onto the floor at one point, don’t remember when. it was so fucking good, i couldn’t feel my goddamn hands

;-; its so beautiful i could stare at this all day hhhhhhh

i just

hhhhhhhhhhhh

oh ym godddd ;-;-;-;-;-;-;

it’s so fucking beautiful

i can’t

okay

we see the gun/health station under the lighthouse so it’s not really THAT big, and we can see a town in the distance. running across the ice sheets is giving me HUGE southern shelf vibes which i am in love with. this whole aesthetic is just ;w; so good

there’s a catch a ride in that town as well so we know this area is fairly big (which is confirmed in a later shot)

and oh my GOD can you imagine seeing some big ol beast lurking beneath the surface of the ice sheets hohhhh

MAN

okay sorry im still not oevr this its just so fckign good

inside the belly of the beast rotting Monster and OHHHHHHHHHHH THE IMPLICATION-s of that. of that. im calm.

we get a look at 2 new enemies and mmmmmm we get a better look at them later on so just look how fuckig beautiful thsi area is with its acid that’s probably rotting stomach acid and AAAAAAAA

first close up of the town, giving me really big uhhhh we happy few vibes? which im not complaining about

TENTACLES asdfghj

anywway more toen, bridge looks like like athenas which is DOPE im hype for more athenas-esque architecture

the TOWNss oh my god im so im love with this aesthetic god. damn.it i need this injected directly into my veins like right N O W

also the bridge is going over another pool of acid, which the tentacle is coming out of. i imagine this monster was sorta acid based, which is funny. since. frozen water planet. and it’s OOZY too. oozy boy means the eridians didn’t make this one! ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

hm who’s ready to face the unintended consequences of our actions?! NOT THE ERIDIANS WHOOO BOY (you cannot tlel me that there are mantakores on this planet and not say there was eridian fuckering going on nooOOPE)

also, side note, DIGGING the spike pit under the house on the bottom right. hope we get to explore that bad boy

ALSO

who are you mysterious figure whose cape billows in the wind? are you just part of the environment?? MAYBE

more town

first look at that BEAUITUFL red barrier which OOOOH I WANNA TOUCH SO BADLY

look at it

LOOK AT IT

NOODLE BOWL

EATS??? food place?? im not sure i can’t read, Jared, 19

see s-ar(?)ed??

THAT

THAT IS BEAUTIFUL

doesn’t look like a corporation shield (no corporation gunk lying around either) and we do know red glowy shit is the New Eridian Aesthetic, so im just saying.

it could be a corporation tho, mostly because uhhh later shots

hold up

that’s not uhhhhhhhhhhh

yeah it CAN’T BE lol

cursetown - something something

these red thingies are probably just rotting monster flesh but it does look very similar to the vines on nekrotefeyo

given how worried wainwright looks i imagine him and hammylocks are being coerced into the whole marriage thing in order to complete a ritual

i mean no judgement but that red background is absolutely garrish for a wedding

1. pirate ship??? please??? look at all the mist outside and the wooden bars

god PLEASE can i get a pirate ship.  CNA I PLEASE GET A PIRATE SHIP

Captain scarlett wsan’t enoughhhh

2. why the fuck does she have a tail

3.

DJ Midnight performing Saturday: The Dark Mix Deep W???? Hear The Voices (hmmm) and Let The Music Enter You

gee i wonder if this is cultist propaganda

I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE

BUT YOUR TIMING

SUCKS

IIIII AM HERMEAUS MORAAA

no wait wrong game

BUT BRO TENTACLES COMING OUT OF THE MAGIC PORTALS???? UFCKF UEYS THIS FITS PERFECTLY INTO H2O A- i mean, damn haven’t we got enough tentacles from the destroyer?? wow gearbox... heh. hm.

SO I AM WONDERING IF MAYBE THE GREEN UNDER THE BRIDGE AND SUCH ISN’T LIKE CORROSIVE ACID BUT MAYHAPS SOME SORT OF MAGIC SLUDGE COMING OFF THE BIG OL MONSTER BOY THAT THESE CULTISTS ARE HARNESSING TO TAP INTO something. i lost steam. but i mean MAGIC PORTALS

and we all know where teleportation takes us

MANTAKORES!!! WHICH MEANS ERIDIAN INTERVENTION SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE

they seem like fire/ice boys which i absolutely adore

THIS SHOT IS SO COOL OH MY GOD

LIKE I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN IT JUST LOOKS D O P E

WHAT IS THIS??

WHAT IS THIIIS??

CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR JACKET

OH ALSO

I MENTIONED IT IN ANOTHER POST BUT THIS

REMINDS ME A LOT OF THIS

IM SURE THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO CORRELATION BUT I THOUGHTIT WAS FUNNY

ALSO REMEMBER THE BLACK EYES THING I HAVE A WHOLE THINGIE THING IMMA BRING BACK OT IT JUST HOLD TIGHT

THIS SHOT?? OH MY GOD? IT’S LIKE A MOVIE????????? I LOV EI LOVE IT LIV E OT

nND THE WOLFIE BOYS THATTHE ARTICLE MENTIONS

UCKING TENTACLES HFDGDHFGJKH THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL OH MY GOD

HE’ SGOT TENTACLE ARMS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING CHADAM

BRO IM

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AND A GUN THIS MOTHERFUCKER STILL HAS A GUN

WHAT A MAN

MORE TECHONOLOG Y THAT IM SURE PLAYS A ROLE IN THIS SOMEHOW

BEAUTIFUL

WE SLAM THIS DUDE UP AGAINST A WALL SO HARD SHE/HE/THEY (I ASSUME SHE BC WE CAN’T SEE HER FACE AS A COMMON TROPE) 

BREAKS THE WINDOW WHICH LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A WINDOW ON SANC-III BUT IM NOT MAKING ANY ASSUMPTIONS

also red SPARKS WHICH REMIND ME OF ERIDIANS AGAIN

also her whole helmet thingie??? very Guardian-like

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS GIVING ME HUGE HECTOR/KEY/PLANT/ERIDIANBULLSHITTERY VIBES THEY EVEN HAVE THE GLOWING SACS OF OOOOOOOZE

which is another point to the “green sludge is magic/connected to their powers somehow” theory. hmmm i hope we mix neon green and eridium purple. purple/green is my favorite color combo. and ugh with the lovecraftian vibes? be still my beating heart!

WINNIE SHOOTING SOMOHE

i fucking LOVE the laces on this shotgun. so fucking pretty omfg

magic circle MAGIC CIRCLE MAGIC CIRCLE

also new chest it looks like

BROO??? HOLY SHIT?????????

JABBER WOLF!! SO FUCKING COOL

THAT SKULL MOUTH IS SO FUCKING DOPE IT LOOKS LIKE TROY’S TATTOO

ohhhhhhHHHHHH THE MOON IS GREEN TOO DON’T DO THI GEARBOX IM GONNA SCREAM IF THERE’S ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE ERIDIUM

THIS SHOT OHHHH

THE BAR LOOKS FUCKING FANTASTIC OH MY GOD

shots SHOT SHOTS SHOT SHOTS HTOSHSTOHSOHTS

dND the MERFOLK TAIL ON THE FAR RIGHT I DON’T GIVE A FUUUCK WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS THAT’S MER TAIL THAT’S A TAIL FUCK U

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YSEY SEYSEYSE BIGGG

THE BARTENDER OHOH

HAVE I MENTIONED THE GIANT FUCKING MUSHROOMS BTW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM GETTTING SUCH DRAGONBORN DLC VIBES I LOVE IT

SWEETFRUIT VILLAGE BTW THAT’S IMPORTANT

YOU ALLL LOOK SO FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD

the bartender!!!! his glasses!! AND THE VOICE MODULATOR???

the netch looking boys are called

slithercresses btw and THEY LOOK STUNNING

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NEW RED CHESTS??? LOOK ERIDIAN TO ME

WHICH MIGHT MEAN------

ALSO THE DIMENSIONAL TRANSFER PROGRAM ON SANC-III WHERE BBY BOY MAUREICE MAKES US A PORTAL TO HELL??? WHICH GREEN OOZE WHICH IS “HECKTOPLASM” BUT MAYBE ACTUALLY N O T

THE STAR OF THE SHOW BABY GIRL GAIGE WHO’SACTUALLY OLDER THAN ME NOW FUUUUUUUUCK

YOU’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL II LOVE YOUR NEW GOGGLES

H??????????????

POSSIBLE NEW PSYCHOMASK UNLESS HE’S JUST GROWING THOSE BONE HORNS IN WHICH CASE YOU GO MAN IM PROUD OF YOU

TENTACLE GUNNNNNN WHICH BETTER LPAY A PART ERIRDIANS YOU FUCKS

THIS PLACE IS WHY I THINK THIS MIGHT BE RELATED TO S O M E CORPORAITON? BUT THEN AGAIN IT MAY JSUT BE THE CULT HEADQUARTERS OR WHATEVER, THAT RED BUBBLED MANSION LOOKS P HQ

FOOD CARTS AND ALSO WHATEVERS IN THAT SWINGING BAG LOOKS LIKE BONES HELL YEAH

this this THIS THIS THIS THIS WHAT IS THIS A NEW CIRCL  E OF SLAUGHTEr? ERIDIAN???

THEYRE PUMPING SOMETHING INTO/OUT OF THE CORPSE!!!!!!! ALSO

mutaTED FEET

[something] world! with a skull symbol on the side

both green btw

god YES I LOVE GREEN AND PURPLE IM SO HAPPY

SAILOF HOLE

hammylocks helping us with a fight by some bones and more wolfie boys!!!! i love these little dudes

FIRE MUTATED SLUGS AAAAAAAAA THEYRE SO COOL

ns tHEY CUR L UP INTO BALLS AND ROLL AT YOU LIKE KRAGGONS

AND I WONDER HOW THE SLUGS MUTATED IS IT POSSIBLY THE G R E E EN?

AND THEIR SHELLS LIKE SUCC UP LAVA?????????????

THESE BRAIN-Y BOYS 

SO BLUE I LOVE THEM

AND MORE GREEN MIST BY THE WAY OWOWOWOWOWO

another look at a baddie with STUDS THIS TIME

A MAGIC WARLOCK TYPE BADDIE THIS TIME AND HE SUMMONS A STAFF AND ALSO I THINK THAT’S ERIDIUM CANNISTER BEHIND HIM

AND IT HAS SIMMILAR TENTACLESTO THE GUNS DO YOU THINK WE’RE FINALLY GOING TO GET ANA NSWER ASA TO WHY OUR GUNS ARE A L I V E

MORE SNAIL DUDES AND THE GREEN STUFF IN THE BACKGROUND M A N I LOVE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA SNAILS

OOOOOZE

BACK AT IT AGAIN IN MY CYCLONES

GREEN FUCKING PUDDLES

B O N E S FUCKING I HOPE THIS EXPLAINS HOW THE SKAGS ON PANDORA GOT SO FUCKIN LARGGO OUTSIDE OF JUST ‘YEAH THE SEASONS’

MORE

this

THIS

ONE

THIS LOOKS LIKE A SAURIAN THE ARMORED ONES THE BASHY ARMORED ONES THAT START WITH ‘C’

TWO THAT GUN IS KICKASS

IT’S GLOWING G R E E N AND IT HAS ***THE TENTACLE BARREL***

OHHHH IM SO READY FOR AN EXPLANATION GEARBO X PL E ASE

GIVE IT TO ME

ALSO THIS

IM EXCITED ABOUT

PROBABLY RELATED TO SWEETFRUIT VILLAGE BC THE MUSHROOMS MAYBE THEY USE IT TO MAKE BOOZE MUSHROOM BOOZE EW

WHY IS HE GRAY?????? HE’S NOT WEARING A JACKET MAYBE HES CRYO-FLAVORED

more sluggus THESE ARE GREEN FLAVORED :O

also, side note

PLEASE TLEL ME THIS WAS INTENTIONAL GEARBOX

LEMME SLAP BLANE’S ASS

YOU *GUYS* PLEASE

BUBBLE MANSION??? GREEN OOZY VILLAIN THAT GOT SLMAMED INTO A WALL??? BABY BABY GIRL

THE R E D

and she’s USING A TENTACLE GUN TOO

THAT’S GOTTA MEAN SOMETHING RIGHT

hhhhhhHHHHH

also ther’e sa fridge on the left lol

also the consoles look similar to that one shot with zane which is why i believe this is part of that bubbled-y mansion.

YES ES YES YES YES YESY SYEYSE 

I WANNA RIDE THE SKY TRAM SO BAD PLEASE

I WANNA REENACT UNTIL DAWN

I HAVE A MIGHTY NEEEEEEED

ALSO NOTE THE EYES

AND THE PURPLE HOW IT LOOKS LIKE AN ERIDIUM PURPLE

ANYWAY I HA[VE TO GO EAT FOOD NOW BUT GO LOOK AT THIS LINKN

I LOOKED UP THE NAME OF THE PLANET AND MYTHOLOGY AND NOTHING CAME UP, BUT GOOGLE RECOMMENDED ME 

T H I S

https://pantheon.org/articles/l/lycurgus.html

AND MAN OH MAN

“FAMOUS FOR HIS PERSECUTION OF DIONYSUS” THE GOD OF P A R T I E S LIKE IDK A WEDDING PARTY, WHICH FORCED YA MAIN MAN DIONYSUS TO <JUMP INTO THE OCEAN> WHICH COULD HAVE SOME RELATION TO THE TENTACLES

OH AND ALSO LYCURGUS WAS THEN <<<BLINDED>>>  WHICH COULD PLAY A PART IN THE BLACK OOZY EYES EVERYONE HAS

DIONYSUS ALSO ENDS UP PUNISHING LYCURGUS WITH MADASS AND WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT RELATES

OKAY BYE 

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #borderlands spoilers #IM SORRY I POSTED THIS EARLY IT WAS ANA CCIDENCT

[artificialqueens]

cat got your tongue? (bob x naomi) -- frenchy

a/n: hello!! i dropped 2 fics and dipped, but hi again! i was looking through some requests for an idea on what people are wanting to read, and especially any ships people want, and i found a few requests for bob and specifically bob/naomi. i got BIG inspired because i love me a more rare pair AND i love them both so much, they are the cutest!! luv them. i was hesitant to share/write bc i’m not sure if many ship, but i decided to fully send it anyway. anyway enjoy!! <3

Bob buzzed with anticipation, bouncing on his heels as he stood in the airport terminal, hands clutching a thick cardboard poster and eyes on a search mission. He nudged his glasses up absentmindedly, trying his best to keep his sign visible among the dozens of reuniting families, tourists, and rolling suitcases. There was always something about airports that put Bob on the edge, whether it be the pressure of being on time for a flight or the fear of delays and being stuck wandering for hours – though neither gave reason for his current flurry of nerves, as he wasn’t here for a flight himself, but instead to pick up a friend. He had felt the building anxiety all morning, but lacked the ability to pinpoint why it had chosen to plague him today, and potentially sour what was intended to be a pleasant reunion.

With an impatient click of his tongue, Bob couldn’t even resume pondering his anxiety, since it was quickly replaced with annoyance. Figures Naomi had to take her sweet time coming off the plane. Bob could already picture her stopping to snap a picture against the window, imagining the way she’d caption it “hi, new york” for her Instagram story, or write something about it being “golden hour”. It was almost too vivid in his mind.

The (probably not) imaginary scenario he was in the works of fabricating was prematurely abandoned by the sight of a certain leggy supermodel in the distance. Immediately perking up, Bob tightened his grip on his sign, his face breaking out in a shining grin.

His face already began to cramp as he waited for Naomi to look up from her phone, presumably texting him to see where he was, where they could meet up. If only she’d glance up and see him, but no, she instead slowed down, phone coming to press against her ear. Bob wished he could make a moving walkway appear in front of her, something to glide her over so he could whack her with the sign he spent a half hour making.

He decided against grabbing the phone that vibrated in his pocket, instead staying put, hoping it wouldn’t be long before she noticed him. With the other passengers slowly dissolving from around him, it made it almost impossible for them not to see each other. Naomi finally took a good look around her, eyes meeting Bob’s and a smile following not long after.

Pocketing her phone, Naomi started towards Bob, but stopped midway with a squint of her eyes and her attention on Bob’s sign. “Oh my Godddd,” he heard her drawl in the that voice he missed hearing, a voice he’d be hearing on his TV for the next – hopefully - several weeks.

“There’s my All Star!” Bob spread out his arms, wrapping himself around his friend as soon as they were close enough, feeling accomplished in how he had achieved a Naomi Smalls eye roll within only seconds of their reunion.

“Bob, you’re totally making a scene,” Naomi groaned, but still lifted her arms in a reciprocation of his hug – only after first squirming under her dramatic friend’s stronghold.

She didn’t see the way Bob was fully cheesing until they had pulled apart, and the sight made her heart simultaneously melt and hurt. It wasn’t often that she saw Bob look so sincere and even less often that they even saw each other in person due to their schedules and events.

“I missed you, bitch! Can I miss my friends in public and cry like a little toddler without fear of judgement?” Bob moved to link arms with Naomi, which she didn’t fight him on.

“No.”

“And to think I was going to take you home with me,” Bob mimicked Naomi’s eye roll when she featured it a second time. “You like the sign, huh? Don’t even answer me, I know you do,” Bob shrugged proudly, like it was no big deal, the sign that read “THIS WAY TO THE DRAG RACE HALL OF FAME!” in bold print and tacky star decorations held limply from his right hand.

She nudged his shoulder with her own, their arms not breaking their link.

The teasing moment died when they both remarked each other’s fond smiles. “What?” Bob chuckled, nudging Naomi back as they walked away from the gates. He wondered if the blush on her cheeks was just the Universe playing tricks on him. A cruel trick that caused a blush of his own to spread, one he was hopeful she didn’t notice.

“I like it. And, like. Thanks for coming to pick me up. It’s been - oh my Gosh - stressful as hell. All Stars was something else, girl. Season Eight had nothing on the past few weeks,” Naomi sighed, focusing her eyes on the ground below them. The tiles of the airport floor. The way the lines moved underneath them. “And I’ve never been happier to be in New York, even if just for a few days.”

“Well, you’ll have to tell me everything. Spare no details, or else. You already know that I’ll find out through Monét if you lie about how bad you did in all the challenges–”

“Oh my God, you’re ridiculous,” Naomi pushed him away with a laugh. She led the way towards the baggage claim, Bob following closely behind her, laughing heartily at his own joke.

+++

“Like, the Henny. Stacy Layne Motherfuckin’ Matthews, Bob. It was crazy. I was starstruck, honestly,” Naomi laughed, one leg crossed under her and the other hanging off the edge of the sofa. They were settled in Bob’s living room, avoiding the film equipment and lighting setup in the corner that was used for his podcast with Monét. Naomi scrolled through her phone as Bob watched her, mug in his hands and affectionate smile on his face.

“I’m so happy for you, and super jealous. I might have to start a real girl group with Stacy. So, this means you didn’t go home first, right?” Bob segued, more serious. He could tell Naomi wasn’t keen on talking about it immediately, but he was dying to know. “You don’t have to tell me everything, but I’d rather be prepared for when I see it on TV.”

“I know, Bob. And you know that I’m not supposed to say anything–”

“Stacy Layne Matthews?”

“That’s different.”

Bob sighed, but he knew she had no obligation to spill. He’d just have to wait like everyone else. “Okay. Okay, yeah, that’s fine. Don’t tell me about how you won All Stars 4, I’ll just have to see it for myself.”

“Bob,” Naomi warned, shaking her head with a sad smile. “I trust you. I didn’t,” she shrugged half-heartedly.

“Didn’t what?”

“Win. I didn’t win,” Naomi pouted dramatically, but Bob could see the real sadness in her eyes, beyond her trying to act dramatic to put him off. “I won a lip sync. I made the top four. I don’t know who won yet, but I didn’t. So.”

“Top four! Oh my God, Naomi,” Bob isolated the good news he heard, and placed his mug off to the side in order to give her a congratulatory hug. “Fuck the crown, or whatever. That’s still a big deal. Farther than I thought you’d make it, if we’re bein’ honest,” Bob added in a deadpan, the laugh threatening to break his act.

But Naomi didn’t laugh like she normally would, still facing Bob on the sofa but her eyes were downcast.

“Hey,” Bob scooted forward, placing a hand on Naomi’s shoulder comfortingly. “I know you wanted it. But you should still be proud of yourself.”

Naomi nodded, her phone long abandoned in order to preoccupy herself with the hem of her shirt. “Yeah. I was just, like, so close. It still sucks.”

She looked up, and she could’ve sworn they weren’t sharing each other’s space so closely before. Something in her jumped, flipping the switch to send her heartbeat into its maximum speed setting. When did Bob get so close? Why wasn’t he giving her a consoling hug and scooting back away?

“Um,” she muttered, barely audible between them. If Bob had just leaned back away, she wouldn’t have made the mistake of glancing down towards his lips. She wouldn’t have looked back up, hopeful to meet his eyes, but instead catch him doing the same. She wouldn’t have had the chance to kiss him back when he finally closed the distance between them.

Naomi had thought about kissing Bob before. She imagined it for the first time during the filming for season eight, after they had properly met. After being in a competition with him for a few weeks. After joking around with each other in the “Shade Tree” room, in front of the camera, Naomi on Bob’s lap. After hugging each other and saying they loved each other, solidifying their new friendship, Naomi still wishing she could beat Bob but knowing she never would.

Bob had thought about kissing Naomi before, many times. After being friends for two years. After all the times they visited each other’s shows, or hung out with fellow queens and gravitated towards each other in the larger groups. After Naomi came to watch Bob in ‘Angels in America’, or spent time at his house watching Pose, or was a guest on his podcast. After Naomi was away for weeks and didn’t win All Stars 4.

Neither of them were ready for how it really was, in the small living room, on Bob’s sofa.

Whether this was just Bob cheering her up or not, Naomi took the opportunity to kiss him back without giving it much thought or question. It was timid, and a little shy, but Bob felt like he was growing wings from the kiss alone.

“You just kissed me,” Naomi whispered after they had parted, like they weren’t the only two people in the room, like someone could have heard or seen. She blinked at him, eyes adjusting, her blank expression not giving Bob much to work with in terms of reading her. She peered into him, not with perplexity or shock, but with a subtle awe. Her lips were still puckered, as if anticipating a second kiss. He battled with the idea of answering her, and the idea of leaning back in again. The only option he didn’t have was leaning too far away – a rope threatening to sever them both in half if he so much as considered it. And he didn’t. He couldn’t trade away the comfort and familiarity he felt pressed so close to her, even if he had just risked ruining that with a single kiss.

“Yeah,” Bob nodded slowly, his ordinarily bold self gone within moments, rendering the older queen speechless. Stomach doing somersaults, voice quivering. All unusual for someone so typically assertive. “I’m… I don’t know,” He answered, riddled with uncertainty. His answer reflected his feelings on both what he did, why he did it, and what her reaction was. He didn’t know anything in those few seconds. Or were they minutes? He was going mad in an attempt to gauge her reaction. She had kissed back, but that didn’t reassure or satisfy his conscience; instinct and feelings lacked synonymity in moments like this. Naomi not making an effort to push him away or gasp in disgust didn’t mean she shared his long-lasting feelings.

He could easily pass this off as a joke, right? It wouldn’t be off-brand for Bob, to fuck around and maybe go too far with a joke, a kiss that he could easily claim meant nothing but a friendly pass. Could save him from the inevitable rejection.

Except that claiming the kiss as a joke wouldn’t warrant how tense the moment they shared now was, the moment after the kiss. A friendly peck was one thing – the tenderness and earnestness in that kiss was reasonable cause to ax the idea of saying that it wasn’t a big deal. That this wasn’t really happening.

Naomi narrowed her eyes, worrying her bottom lip. “Why sorry?” Bob wondered if the smile he heard in her voice was authentic or all in his head. He risked a peek at her lips, a single corner slyly inching upwards. Was she fucking with him, like he had debated doing?

His anxiety was relieved by Naomi raising a hand, her fingers barely ghosting along his jaw, slower than either of them would have liked.

Bob held his breath.

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” she continued after a beat, making Bob realize that he never answered her. “What’s wrong, Bob?” Naomi pouted innocently; Bob noted how her eyes harbored mischievousness, still. “Cat got your tongue all of a sudden?”

“No, uh,” Bob cleared his throat with a shake to his head, desperate to not let this die at the account of suddenly becoming a deer caught in headlights. “I thought – I didn’t want to, like. I didn’t mean for it to be –”

“Bob.”

“You can totally ignore me for at least a week –”

“Bob,” Naomi raised her voice, effectively overpowering Bob, who was oblivious to how fast he had been rambling. “For the love of God. Stop talking. For, like, once in your life?” If anyone else had said this, Bob would have jumped straight into defense mode, but the fond look in Naomi’s eyes and the humor in her tone prevented that. “You were doing so well.”

She was fucking with him. This wasn’t about Bob, or any kind of reciprocation – she went almost 5 weeks with no attention. He didn’t want to hear her admit it.

“– I’m just fucking with you,” Bob screwed his eyes shut in an extreme wince after hearing the words come out of his own mouth.

“What?” He couldn’t deny the sudden and genuine confusion in her voice this time. “What do you mean?”

“I’m, uh,” Bob laughed unnaturally, pushing it into the empty space between them. “It’s just a joke, girl. Testing out my acting chops for my next audition.” Bob played along with the wicked, brutal joke he just turned his admission of feelings into. He could deal with Naomi’s frustration with a prank more than he could handle her laughing in his face if she knew what that kiss really meant.

“Um,” Naomi was the one at a loss for words this time, “oh. Wait, like – what? You’re serious?” She looked at him weirdly, seemingly unconvinced. And, God, how could she be? She waited a moment, her weird look urging Bob to take back what he said – but he didn’t. “Okay,” she nodded curtly, pulling away from the comfort of sharing Bob’s personal space – the rope that tethered them together was left frayed, laying on the floor before Bob, as she made a beeline for the door.

“Where are you going?” Bob watched her in panic, the somersaults in his stomach bouncing at record speed, wondering how his plan to save the situation only made it worse. And more anxiety inducing. Why wasn’t she laughing? Swatting at him and rolling her eyes in the way that she does when he playfully insults her makeup or makes fun of her for being younger than some of the shoes in his closet? “Naomi, girl,” Bob ignored his own aside, following her and stopping only a few feet away as she struggled to slip on her shoes. “It wasn’t that deep. I’m sorry. If it was weird. You were upset, I thought it’d distract you, or make you laugh. I was waiting for you to shove me away and laugh, or call me gross, or… I don’t know.”

With a heavy sigh, Naomi looked over her own shoulder. “No, yeah, I know. It sure made me forget all about losing All Stars. Ha ha. It was funny, see? You’ll kill your audition. I just forgot that I have to grab lunch with, uh, with Kim.”

“It’s six o’clock.”

“Kim slept late.”

“She’s not even in New York. Naomi, come on,” Bob reached out, laying a hand gently on her shoulder. Ignoring how his heart stung when she recoiled. “You’re mad.”

“Yeah, I am,” Naomi wasted no time arguing, turning her head back around and fumbling with the lock on the door. She was fixed on leaving.

“Can you just turn around, like, for a second?” Bob grew impatient, knowing he couldn’t let her walk out. “Please?”

He had a hand on his hip when he heard the fumbling stop, and when Naomi slowly turned around to face him. He opened his mouth to speak, but Naomi beat him to it. Her throat was reddening, rising from below her collared shirt and up towards her face.

“It was a joke? It was really something to distract me? You thought it’d make me laugh?” Her voice was taut, forced. Bob knew she was holding back. Whether it was a sob or a string of insults, he wasn’t sure.

Bob hadn’t expected the sudden confrontation when she had been so intent on leaving, and scoffed in offense. He laughed incredulously, glancing around as if there was someone else or perhaps a camera in the room. He couldn’t look at her, not for more than a few seconds at a time. “It was a joke, I just told you that.”

“Bob, stop,” Naomi groaned in frustration, and if Bob would have blinked, he could’ve missed the glassy look in her eyes, the threat of tears. “Even I know you don’t make jokes like that. That was low, and the weirdest timing for something like that. It didn’t feel like a joke. And it wasn’t funny, not really.”

“I’m-” Bob looked back up at her, eyes wide. “Naomi, girl, whoa-”

“I’ve been waiting for you to do that since we filmed. Filmed our season,” Naomi’s arms were crossed, her eyes watering. “That’s, like, two years, Bob.” She bowed her head, in a way that would have hid her face had she been wearing a wig.

Bob stood wide eyed, frozen. His eyes didn’t blink for at least 30 seconds. “Naomi, I…” He didn’t know what to say, searching for the right words to fix this quicker than he managed to ruin it. “Really?”

“Yeah. Yeah, really.”

“You never said anything.”

Naomi laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I never said anything because I was afraid you’d do what you just did. That you’d make it all into a joke. Think that I’m a joke,” she placed a hand on the doorknob behind her, the confidence that fueled her confrontation faltering.

“Wait, don’t. Please stay. I chose the worst way to do this,” Bob stepped forward, eyes pleading. “You can hate me, unfollow me even, but I can’t let you leave thinking I meant any of that. I don’t even have an audition booked,” he admitted softly, but didn’t expect her to believe him. He wasn’t really proving to be the most trustworthy person. He really thought he did something, huh? Beyond fucking up both their years of friendship and something that could have gone beyond? “I… Like you? More than a friend, or another sister, or whatever. Genuinely like you. I just happen to be a huge fucking idiot and did something about it before coming to terms with the fact that you don’t feel that way. Thought I could cover it up, but I had to kiss you at least once. I didn’t really expect you to kiss me back, so I guess… I guess I panicked?“

“You panicked because I kissed you back? Oh my God, that is so backwards, Bob. You’re so… You’re such an idiot. I say it all the time, but I’m serious,” Naomi raised her eyebrows in disbelief, accompanying it with a shake of her head.

They stared at each other for a moment, regarding the other, and also this whole fucked up situation. The misunderstanding and how stupid the both of them were, how neither knew how to communicate.

“We’re both idiots,” Naomi continued, a smile growing. Bob couldn’t help but match it.

“You can say that again. So, uh. Can I kiss you again and not ruin it this time?”

“Please.”

Bob stepped forward, arm reaching for Naomi’s waist to pull her close, their lips meeting again in a kiss Bob definitely preferred to the first one.

She instinctively brought both hands up to the side of Bob’s head, pulling him closer and making the timidity of their kiss obsolete. Making a surprised noise, Bob gave way to let Naomi take control of the kiss, his head spinning. She felt him wrap his arms fully around her waist, both of them trying to close the distance that didn’t even exist between them anymore.

“Wait,” Naomi pulled away, taking a large breath. “Can I just say. I’m really glad you were joking about that audition, because you definitely would not have gotten the part. Your acting has gotten much worse. Really unconvincing, Bob.”

“You’re such a bitch,” he smiled lazily back at her, positive that she could sense the relief that flowed from him as his shoulders visibly relaxed. Their laughs mingled and died together as they started for another kiss, Bob stopped right before his lips met Naomi’s. “Can I just say, you’re a winner. Too good for All Stars, honestly. To me, you didn’t lose,” he laid a hand on her neck, sliding toward the back of her head. He leaned into her side, mouth nearly meeting where her jaw and ear met. “Twice,” Bob added in a mock-seductive whisper, exuding an instinctively hearty laugh and gentle shove from Naomi.

“I hate you,” she laughed sarcastically, shaking her head at the sheer ridiculousness he insisted upon even during such a tender moment. “Aaaaand you just killed the mood.” Naomi gave a sigh of disapproval, but Bob could tell she held no authentic contempt.

“Yeah? Well I just thought of something that might make this,” he gestured between them, raising his brow, “a little complicated.”

Naomi narrowed her eyes, puzzled, but had to smile weakly at his acknowledgement toward whatever they were, with or without labeling it. “Go on.”

“I think Monét’s gonna take it personally when she finds out I’m not rooting for her to win All Stars,” Bob admitted, eliciting a laugh from the both of them, Naomi throwing her head back. She swatted at him playfully after catching her breath.

“Bob, you already know I’m not going to win. That was, like, what started this,” Naomi enunciated her words slowly, making it clear that she was stating the obvious. “I know you’re older than me, but girl, is your memory already going down the toilet?”

“Pfft, you wish, crazy bitch,” Bob sneered, endearment flashing in his smile and humor in his voice. “I know you won’t. Your fans knew you had no chance of winning season eight but did that stop them? Not that there were many of them,” they gasped in unison, Naomi in offense and Bob mocking her on cue. “Don’t mean I won’t be the biggest, most obnoxious Naomi Smalls advocate in the bar – nay, on the street.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Naomi matched his affectionate look, exposing her sarcasm. She wrapped her long arms around his shoulders, effectively pulling him back from when she had shoved him away, leaning their foreheads together.

“Ridiculous? Maybe. But a winner? Absolutely,” Bob emphasized the final word, his beam matched Naomi’s as they leaned into another kiss, “And I’m not talking about Drag Race this time.”

#rpdr fanfiction #bob the drag queen #naomi smalls #bob x naomi #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #a little bit of it anyway #frenchy #and i oop #rare pair #writing this fully made me ship #canon compliant #s8 #on set fic #submission

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 3 - “Am I Old?” - Sarah

So far Shosha and Yujo haven’t lost any challenges, if we keep winning until the swap  i fear that the other tribes will target our people because we’re all still intact. Maybe it would be a good thing to maybe lose one? I dunno

ちくしょう 😉

FUCK the hosts for this how many hours can you put in challenge this early in the game, i'm literally fucking pissed, FUMIN love! i knew we were gonna lose from early on but i still put in the time and hours to distract myself from this bitch ass boy who curved me yesterday night, whatever. i'm just so exhausted like of the constant losing, the tribal council, ugh. i haven't been on a losing tribe like this in SO long. and i'm so.. over it. i can't stand losing and i can't stand that emma is immune right now because deciding who to vote off is going to be impossible and people are going to be coming for me so i'm like, probably most definitely gone or whatever. and that means i'm going to have to do the arena challenge and NOT have a day off which... ugh....... dont get me wrong i know that ORGs are time commitments but usually i win the premerge challenges so THIS IS NEW OKAy kdhfnsdkfndkfndf. i'm just annoyed and i'm so over my tribe... and i didn't find any advantages at the olympic village i finally remembered to search in. anyway i dont even wanna THINK about tribal rn so this is just me saying fuck this challenge and ughhh i'm so TIRED just so fatigued of everything, i'll like come back tmrw and strategize or something. *throws a rock at the cameraman* fuck this shit i'm out, give me the osake RIGHT! GOD DAMN! NOW! (alcohol for all you non duolingo-ers)

i'm kinda happy that bailey was evacuated from the game, she would have been voted out regardless and this gives our tribe better odds at survival. even if we had gone to tribal i would've been comfortable, but now i feel like it's better than i try to prove my value as a player by competing in the arena! kinda excited.

tribal three times in a row check! 😍✨💋 LMAO no one is wanting to actually talk to me about it so i’m hoping that i can still sway the votes in my favor but we’ll see! i think landen would defiantly do his best to help keep me from going, but it’s all a matter of who would we send instead. so! we’ll see! at least i can say i did my best 

So, for starters, the past round went pretty much as expected.  Kathy was the vote off from my tribe, and she lost at the arena, as well, past round I found nothing yet again at the village.   Now, right now in terms of this round, my tribe didn't win immunity, but Bailey ended up getting medically evacuated due to getting three inactivity strikes, so the tribal got cancelled for my tribe, and Beck ended up volunteering to do the arena.  So basically, just awaiting to search Olympic Village again, and hoping to goodness there is a tribe swap next round, since right now my tribe is just my alliance with Ben and Beck, which will make things rough come another loss with no swap.

yep worst case scenario happened. My tribe lost with me sitting out and Will, my one main ally, not showing up to the challenge at all!! I was hoping it could be an easy vote so i didn’t have to vote and I could get the advantage but now it seems like my tribe is ready to boot Will and if I want that advantage I need two of those other three to vote against each other! God this is gonna be hard... 

I’m in a tough predicament here. I could either A. play it safe, agree with everyone to vote will or B. try to save my ally and my advantage at the same time by getting Sarah and Eve to vote out Nik, risking my whole game. Godddd I don’t know!! aaaagh! 

it's 10am, tribal is in 10 hours, and i've had about 10 separate heart attacks throughout the morning. i don't know what to do tonight. i'm really struggling to figure out what's right. my heart says jacob, that's definitely where i'm leaning. juls is my closest ally at this point, and after the whole debacle with Billy, voting him out, then instantly starting to bond with him and all that, and apologizing, and him sticking by me even after I voted him out first, I would feel terrible voting for him again and I want us to prove to eachother we can trust eachother. but the fact he said juls' name.. if that's who he's going to go for, i simply can't prove to him i will vote with him. i'm tight with juls, she saved me even over emma, and i just really feel a bond with her. we're both the youngest in this cast, we both have lots in common, it really do feel like we're the same person at times. at the same time, my head tells me jacob is good in challenges, and will be ok in arena, but that i really don't need a 3rd person upset at me for going to the arena, and if Emma is still coming after me, she could probably use me coming for Jacob to her advantage, but I don't even know where she's voting or what she's thinking. i'm torn about this vote, and it's all the more annoying that if emma just hadn't fucked up at the last challenge, we wouldn't be here without someone to vote right now. we'd all be able to agree on emma or jacob probably, and it would just... it would still suck complete ass, but it wouldn't be as complicated as it is now. with a tribe as tiny as 5 people, going to tribal THREE times, with all the same 5 people.. it's just not something we can afford. our tribe is being torn apart and... whew, i just need the swap. give it to me rn. as of now, i'm thinking i'm going to vote jacob, and i hope i can get billy on board for that and take his mind off juls. that's where my head is at right now... tribal is making me sick to my stomach

What the f does I stan you even mean? Am I old? And I no longer hip and down with the lingo? Bogus, man...

Our first tribal is tonight... I hate to say it, but I'm voting for Will. Nobody has heard from him in days, or for the last challenge, and tonight will be a second strike if he doesn't come back for tribal. WILL I'M SORRY. I definitely would not have voted him otherwise, he did great on the other challenges and is a great personality to have around. Come back for the next season Will.. 

I am the swing vote again lol Juls got blamed for messing up last vote by Emma and Billy, which considering Juls is beloved by everyone, PERFECT But now since we lost I need to pick a side, Landen and Juls or Emma and Billy. I like Emma, Billy sketches me out. Landen is the perfect meat shield for eternity. He's a bit of a blabbermouth. I watched the tapes of the live tribal, he sold me out unknowingly in front of Billy. How am I supposed to both sides these people now!? I could get sold onto a Landen vote, but that's not being sold, so WELL, who do I screw over. I feel so bad voting out Juls, but that's a reason to vote her out too, gah. GAH. Do I pick a side and lowkey goat, or do I make my control of the tribe forefront (but not evident because everyone hates each other) Time will tell. 1 Hour until tribal, and I have no idea what to do. inb4 voted out

why the FUCK does emma have immunity? she's literally so useless and does nothing in challenges... and the fact she already turned on juls, this quick, over practically nothing? im sick to my stomach, love. i know i said that already, but you know what? I must have the flu, because my nausea is neverending with this tribe and our constant spins at tribal council. as emma once said, we're basically taking turns sending people to the hellish arena. but the twist is so complex because you can't send someone you like there, because there IS always the very real chance that they lose the challenge. going there could be a good risk if you're smart with it, but it could be a risk that puts your entire game in jeopardy and i'm a KNOWN safe player when it comes to game mechanics ^_^ the only risks i take are in emotional labor! speaking of, myself and juls have both been working very hard to keep her safe from billy and emma's focused target on her, but i don't see it happening.. Billy and em seem to be tight now and it seems like they've convinced jacob to take out juls. The really horrible thing about all this, is that if i want to save juls.... i'm likely going to have to vote billy. and that is going to be aching, because i really like the guy, and i was being 100% honest and genuine with him saying i wanted to be on his side, to prove to him i have his trust and that i will be loyal to him and want to work with him til the endgame and be his ally. but if he's going to go against juls and i have to choose between the two of them..... i mean, i can't choose billy. it would be bad. so there's 30 minutes left and i don't have a clear idea of what's happening yet and any choice i make will permanently damage a tight connection that I thought I had heading into the later game. I guess in good news, Sammy, Caeleb, and a new friend, Jordan, ALL messaged me saying good luck at tribal, and talking to me a bit about it, saying they hope I'm safe. Forming those cross tribal bonds could be crucial in surviving the next stage of the game, which, god please, is happening VERY soon... *i bind myself to the cross* Give me strength to get through this, Japan. Onegaishimasu.

So far the game is makin  me p sad, I’m super tired of going to tribal and having to send people to arena. And that Japanese challenge was so damn frustrating 

so tribal last night.... i mean, uh, i guess my power, huh? lmao........... MESS!!! IM A MESS MY GAME IS A MESS THIS WHOLE DAMN THING IS A MESS. Someone get me a MOP rn because Sonkei-Matsing tribe is STRUGGLING and it's all EMMA'S FAULT!!!!! On the other hand, I'm very grateful Emma is an idiot, because Billy got to be safe!!! So let me explain what happened in that bonkers tribal council, from MY perspective... When I heard that my closest ally Juls had her name coming up, i was like, oh HELL. NO. So I put in the WORK to get Jacob and Billy to vote for eachother. Don't get me wrong, Juls worked hella hard on this too, she is a bad ass bitch and she deserves credit. But I do believe I was a major factor in swaying their votes as well as I'd built pretty close relationships with each of them in terms of strategy. But with Billy, that relationship wasn't a tight trusting one, more of a, please, I like you a lot, let me prove to you that I can be trusted and we can work together. Let us prove that to eachother. But here's how it happened. Even though Jacob and Billy DID vote for eachother... NEITHER OF THEM TOLD ME THEY WERE VOTING FOR EACH-OTHER. BILLY LED ME TO BELIEVE HE WAS VOTING JULS THE WHOLEEEEE TIME. And initially, I was fine with it, and i was STILL going to vote Jacob off with Juls!! Thinking there was nothing I could do and she would go 3-2. But then, 5 minutes into tribal, you'll see me furiously typing... Because Jacob FINALLY told me he was going to vote for Billy (and that's on Whispering!!! #LiveTribal!!) So from my perspective.... Billy and Emma are voting Juls. Juls is voting Jacob. Jacob is voting Billy. It's 2-1-1... and if I vote for Jacob, then Jacob and Juls can't vote, and Billy and Emma have the majority to send Juls out, saving Jacob on the revote. BUT if I vote for Billy, then Billy and Juls can't vote, and now me and Jacob have the majority over Emma. That was the thought process behind my initial vote for Billy. LITTLE DID I KNOW BILLY ACTUALLY WAS VOTING WITH ME AND NOW I FEEL HORRIBLE FOR VOTING FOR HIM AND I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO HIM BUT HE DIDN'T TEXT ME WHEN HE GOT OFF AND UGH, I NEED TO MAKE THIS RIGHT!!!! Emotional labor is the most annoying thing, and I'm really bad it. I'm terrible at apologizing and owning up to things, maybe that's why I just let my friendships fall apart in real life instead of doing the actual work to save them once a problem happens. because emotional labor is fucking annoying, exhausting, and stressful! I don't got time for it! But now, I need to have time for it, because our tribes are FIVE PEOPLE strong, and at the next tribal council, if I don't get my relationship with Billy in check, I WILL be gone. It is his vote that I need to help make sure Emma's psycho ass goes home, and if he, Jacob, and Emma all think they're on the bottom... Yikes. I hope Billy understands that I was absolutely disgusted it came down to him or Juls and I thought I was doing everything I could to save an ally.. I even swayed Juls to help save him with me, when she felt uncomfortable with him. He totally screwed up by like... not telling me he was voting with me, he said in tribal people just need to be real with where they're voting, and I agree! I wish he had just followed his own advice with me, because he would still be here right now. But his screw up does not at all compare to Emma... what the FUCK was she thinking, self-voting like that...? Like, HELLO? She throws out Juls' name all round, for I don't even know WHAT reason, since they were supposedly close, but it's implied she throws out Juls' name for getting 4 crowns on the challenge... Um, YOU STUPID BITCH YOU LITERALLY ONLY GOT ONE MORE CROWN THAN HER AND BEFORE THAT DID NOTHING ON THE SLIDE PUZZLE CHALLENGE OR THE TRIBE CHANT, DESPITE US KNOWING YOU CAN PUT IN THE TIME WHEN YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT IN THE ARENA :) Headass.... Then, after doing that all round, she SELF-VOTES??? WITH IMMUNITY AROUND HER NECK??? Girl you MUST be crazy, cus this is psychotic. Headass, deadass, she is gone the next time we lose tribal, which, lbr, is probably next time because we're LIT RALLY matsing. at least caeleb thinks i'm denise though. i feel like i have the same amount of wrinkles as her, after the stress of this game like 3 rounds in. imagine how tired i am.  

Round 3's over! That's fun, innit? Glad we got rid of some dead weight in Bailey. As for friendships and alliances, I'm still slightly on edge about Darcy - I trust Beck over him. Got acquainted with Karen - they seem nice, but I'll keep an eye on them, too. Other than that, Nicole and Tommy are the people I'm mainly corresponding with. Seems like fun! :) Here's to a fun Round 4!

Okay so we won this round which is fun! Tommy went to the arena which gives me, Karen and Kevin a good chance to bond because Stoner just isn’t paying attention ever. I wonder if he has even made a confessional. Anyway, I’m going to be real annoyed if we lose and he whips out an idol. Also going to be mad if after this round there’s a swap and I’m swapfucked. I don’t think it really COULD happen to me though, because I’ve talked to at least one newbie on each of the tribes. Unless I’m stuck with Nik, Emma and Billy who have no interest in speaking to me, I think I’ll be fine. Speaking of newbies, I find myself talking to Ben a lot but I’m under the impression he talks to a lot of people. He reminds me of a lot of friendly pure men in this community like Joey, just very social and very nice! The only thing is sometimes he will say something in a conversation and I don’t necessarily know where to go with it. For example right now he’s having a full conversation with me in the village chat about pizza. I don’t know what to do with this and rather not be so vocal in the village chat. While the other newbies are increasingly hard to talk to, and sitting around all day waiting for the arena stuff is boring, Ben is a very nice person to talk to but I just wish we would talk like...about the game not what I’m eating. When it comes down to it I want to know I have an ally or two to bring to the end that might offset my immediate threat of being a winner, but not give them so much power that they win over jury votes. He seems to be showing his social side and not giving me any game info at the same time, which I have to look out for. All of the other newbies I’ve spoken to have talked game. He’s either playing a really good game by doing this or a really transparent one, I can’t tell yet. We will have to see! 

Last night proved something that I’ve been wondering about Landen for a while. He truly is a snake. I unintentionally made a really good move in keeping it mysterious on who I was voting. In order to make the vote go his way and to keep Juls, he instead changed the vote to ME and got Jacob to do the same. Sneaky mother fucker 😋 thank god Juls stayed the same though. I know for an absolute fact now that I won’t be able to trust him. As for Jacob, I do hope he comes back, because now that I know where the tribe stands I know I can get him on my side.

I don't know if I ever had such a frustrating round for challenges first duolingo and now the arena I was in the lead in front of everyone until the last clue and I lost it all I didn't get a medal. I'm so pissed, you really don't wanna @ me anytime soon because I'm at the point where I wanna go off on someone. 

Love the tribe, so happy we 5-0d the last tribal!! it was a cute moment!! hehe, we seem to be very together as a unit

So Will’s gone, well he’s at the arena but i think he died so he’s probably out for good. Now that he’s out that leaves me on the bottom of my tribe as the next to go, my only hope is getting as close to sarah as I can and crossing my fingers for a swap! Due to that triple tribal I think it’s going to happen next... hopefully! 

Ughh i keep forgetting to make confessionals until right before the round ends so im always like oh shit and then dont really know what im gonna talk about so its not good. hows things in the life of jordan pines? great thanks for asking, while i still feel on the bottom of my tirbe i definitly see a swap coming soon which i think depending on how it goes would be pretty good for me. Id ideally like to stay with most of the people ive been with plus new ones, becuse i think im seen as like an expendable numebr to caeleb and Jacob. I want them to keep thinking of me like this while I go out and start forming stronger relationships, keep bringing in those jordan pines minions, i got my sights set on billy right now, i like him but he makes me look as humble as they come and ive i could definitly turn him into a goat for me with the right coaxing. Im hoping will survives the arena cause hes for sure a number for me, but hes also a lil innactive so maybe he peaced. Im starting to build relationships with Landen who I like. I havent even looked at the all winners tribe holy shit. Karen and Stoner are gonna be my biggest obstacles as they dont necesarily love me. Im gonna try to work with Nicole for a bit if i can tbh. Thats really all im feeling right now. I think best cast scenario is people use me as a number and carry me just a little too far that I can turn shit around and fuck em over. It's definitely gonna be an uphill climb to the finish line, but the only way to do it is go step by step.

I feel like I am in a great position on my tribe! I trust Sarah and Eve a lot. Pete says he has my back so we can only hope that in the case of another tribal council, I will be safe! I’m still going to work my ass off and play my ass off to stay safe and not have to go to another tribal! This game is long and hard and I’m trying to see big picture. And within that big picture is a flashing sign that’s telling me there’s a tribe swap soon! Hopefully I’ll be able to work some magic and avoid being on a tribe with individuals that don’t like me. But overall I’m feeling pretty good after the last tribal!

#zestypowerfuluniqueflavorfulhealthy #confessionals

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Gotham 4x03: A Liveblog

It’s that time of the week again. Hoo boy. I have a sneaking suspicion my son gets thawed this episode and... PHEW, body is not ready. But, here we sure go.

TL;DR - Why.

Question: why does Arabia 125 A.D. look like an edgy production of Les Miz? Just saying

Into the Resurrection Pond! Because... y’know... that’s a thing. That is... Clearly how resurrecting is done. It all totally makes sense now

What is this, divine amniotic fluid? Also why are his clothes gone? He definitely had clothes when he went in. Why did the pond dissolve his clothes but heal his body? ...wut?

I... I don’t... old guy, you’ve explained officially nothing. Nothing here makes sense. What the fuck.

We have a fancy sword now, that’s ALL I’m taking away from this.

BTW, this is a show about Batman

I wonder what the mysterious crates Penguin’s shipping contain

Meanwhile in... Spain? Mexico? Is this what Falcone meant when he said “a place down South”? I thought he meant like... fucking Jersey, not south of the border XDDD

Anyway, meanwhile Jim is here in this tonal departure of a location to get his head shot off

Oh jesus fuck and there’s ALREADY ANOTHER LOVE INTEREST? FUCK EVERYTHING. WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS, ALWAYS STUBBORNLY, OBSESSIVELY SHUNTING JIM INTO EVERY HETERO SHIP THAT COMES ALONG? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE IS, SHE’S JUST SOME CHICK RIDING A HORSE, BUT GIVEN THE WAY THIS SHOW RUNS, SHE’S PROBABLY FALCONE’S DAUGHTER OR GRAND NIECE OR SOME BULLSHIT AND JIM WILL HAVE YET ANOTHER DOOMED ROMANCE WITH HER IN THE EYES OF PAPA FALCONE WHO IS COMPLETELY HIS DAD SUBSTITUTE. JESUS.

Please get a NEW FUCKING PLOT Gotham

Unrelated: Margot Verger flashbacks, but this show 1) would never and 2) Does Not Deserve Margot. They Could Never.

STOP LOOKING AT HORSE GIRL OH MY GOD, Why is my life suffering.

YUP. CALLED IT. FUCKING CALLED IT. HIS DAUGHTER. GUESS WHO JIM’S NEXT RELATIONSHIP IS WITH GUYS? I hate myself, I hate this show. Fuck you all.

Godddddd and she’s the heir to the throne, wants to take over the family business... Fuck. This. Fuck This. Fuck everything. I hate this show.

I’ll miss you Papa Falcone, I’m so sorry you couldn’t help us this time and instead enabled a TERRIBLE subplot that I already fucking HATE. HATE SO MUCH.

“A real crime”? because muggings aren’t real crimes? Great, I’ll inform the government of that shall I? Tell them to stop breathing down my neck when I pirate music. Just because Selina was there Bruce doesn’t make it a better crime than any other. If you go after only big fish, buddy, you’ll become like Jim. Don’t do that shit Bruce. Don’t do that.

Alfred on point today, at least

Zsasz you beautiful angel, you vinyl wearing freak, I love you so much, you’re the only one I love, all the rest of them are trash. I only love you.

Talking to the ice block,mmmhmmm, mmmmmmhmmm, called it. Things going swimmingly for Nygmobblepot, as per usual

That’s uh... this is uh... uhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Who The Fuck?

Also you’re... you’re fucking kidding me. You’re fucking kidding me. A blowtorch. You’re going to melt him with A blowtorch. I... I’m. You’re SURE there isn’t a master power switch that would defrost him WAY faster than this? Because... y’know, if he’s STAYING in the ice at room temperature I uh... I’m PRETTY sure he’s hooked up to some cooling vents to... y’know. Keep him in the ice. So... this whole SINGLE blow torch rescue is... I want to say futile but it’s actually WAY more idiotic than that.

Holy fuck.

Also also WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU. You’re looking at Ed like you want to sit on his face and I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE WHICH MEANS ED HASN’T EITHER. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS TERRIBLE, ILL-ADVISED, SUICIDAL CRUSH ON HIM? IF OSWALD DOESN’T MURDER YOU, ED WILL, TRUST ME, THERE IS NO SCENARIO HERE WHERE YOU GET OUT ALIVE. HOLY FUCK YOU WERE NOT AROUND FOR SEASON 3. HOLY FUCK WOMAN WHY DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH AN ICEBERG, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

...Zsasz do you know something about this my sweet cream puff? Or are you just amused by Oswald ‘I’m Totally Over Ed Nygma’ Cobblepot screaming at you? I mean, both are fair, both are completely fair.

And I REALLY FEEL I MUST POINT OUT THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY SHE MELTED ED THAT FAST UNLESS SHE TURNED OFF THE FREEZER THAT WAS KEEPING HIM THERE. NO FUCKING WAY. Because, my dear friends, if she didn’t, then the water would have refrozen into harder ice before she could even make a dent. That’s literally how ice sculpture works, to get that nice, smooth, hard finish, you melt the ice and refreeze it and you do it over and over again to get the shape you want. UNLESS she turned off the frost on him, with ONE blowtorch there’s NO FUCKING WAY she got him melted in the SCANT HOURS Oswald was gone. FUCK THIS SHOW. WHY DID I HAVE A BETTER PLAN TO GET HIM OUT OF THE ICE THAN YOU DID?

Ohhhhh god you’re... a fucking psycho. oh god. Just what this needed.

I... I guess you’re the Harley Quin of this show... I... Mmm. mmm. this. this sure is happening. this sure is a thing.

I see we quick taught Bruce how to talk like a dock worker

Everyone needs an accent coach, I guess

Fancy knife makes a reappearance! The plot-relevant fancy knife!

Oswald’s coping with Ed being missing pretty well, all things considering. Also, interesting... belt arm bands. We’re kicking the kink back up in this show I see.

Ah Yes. This Millennia Old Illuminated Manuscript Proves Ra’s Al Ghul Is Immortal. Drawings In Books Are Irrefutable Proof Of Identity. 

Uggggggghhhhhhhh... back to Jim Het Subplot Gordon, ugh I feel like throwing up. All of my tears Harvey. I hope you’re pissed as hell with him.

I hope you kill him, sweetie. I hope you’re only here to murder him. I’d be proud of you.

asfghjshadgksahjfwkhfkjshfdksja <--- rage typing @ Jim’s everything

*siiiiiigh* Well, at least Ed isn’t attracted to her at all. Although... that’s just feeding me ALL of the Harley vibes and MMMM. MMMMMM. You know what we DIDN’T need?

Hmmmmm, Ed doesn’t... Ed seems to be processing some shit. Interestinggggg. There’s hope for this show yet.

Ummm... weird cut away shot. I think that was an homage to Hannibal, the extreme #aesthetic close up, but I’m afraid y’all don’t have the camera crew to carry that off as it took me 8 million years to understand what I was looking at

Hey! Acupuncture is a legit thing Ed, fuck you

Your body is just all fucked up man, this’ll take time

Ed’s uh... having some bad times. Huh. Didn’t think freezing him would fuck up his brain, but uh... let’s see. That would certainly be a departure from the icy convenience.

Ewwwwwwwww @ Jim’s romantic subplot. Ugh. Why.

HE KILLED YOUR BROTHER. GOD I HOPE YOU MURDER HIM.

*rolls around in despair*

Oswald likes Bruce at least, there’s like... one whole thing

Hmmmm, it was the old switcheroo. I mean... frankly I buy the muscle atrophy thing, that totally makes sense, and... I guess his body being fine but his brain being mush, even if it doesn’t make sense, it’s satisfying? Ehhh, we’ll see

Godddd *siiiiigh*

I see that Sofia has a thing against shirts so... I mean that’s a thing

*siiiiiiigh* I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

Zsasz, my sweet, my angel, I love you, you are my everything

Ed’s uh... he’s fine. He’s fine.

“The Lazarus Pit” ...really? That’s what we’re calling it? I think divine amniotic sack is more appropriate but... whatever man. Call your creepy green goo whatever you want.

Babs and... Ra’s Al Ghul that’s... that’s a new one

Also, how did a quality actor like Alexander Siddig end up in a trash show like this?

#Gotham #Gotham spoilers #Why #just why #That's it that's the summary

[lindseyluvsdrag]

Letters From My Glass Jar Ch. 7

Warning: Writing is not fundamental. Ignore the typos.

Ch. 1

Ch. 2

Ch. 3

Ch. 4

Ch. 5

Ch. 6

“Have a drink with me, grandson,” the man said as draped his arm over Oliver's shoulder. He led the boy to the kitchen and pulled out the Bourbon. “So, where'd you meet this girl and how is the sex?”

The boy nearly choked on dry air.

“You know those are the two most important things in a woman. Meeting her at a decent place and wanting to keep her because she performs well. You can always buy food but good sex is priceless.”

The boy groaned and quickly suppressed the horrific combination of his 'grandfather’ and 'good sex’ in the same sentence.  “We met at school. Our friend introduced us.”

“Sounds good,” the elderly man said as he grabbed two shot glasses. He opened the top and filled the crystal to the brim before handing one to Oliver. “And the sex?”

The boy quickly downed his shot and groaned at the burning in his chest. “We don't have sex, Grandpa.”

“What?! Here's another.” The man filled the glass once more. “Is she not putting out or is this your doing?”

“I'm not ready for that yet. I still have two surgeries to go.”

“Does she know?”

“Of course she does. She knew before we started dating.”

“Ahh, so she accepts you for everything even if you sometimes don't accept yourself.”

Oliver smiled. He was always amazed at how easily his family saw through him. “Yeah, she's amazing.”

The man handed him the second shot. “To amazing women.”

“To amazing women,” the boy repeated before downing the Bourbon.

---

The elderly woman pulled Ronis into her bedroom and towards her closet. “The cut of your dress is very mod but the plain red just doesn't work. Mod is about bright colors and fun geometric shapes.”

“Well, the red was for Christmas.”

“Ugh, conforming to think a color is designated for a specific date is just stupid.”

“Um...okay. I respect your opinion.”

“It's not an opinion, it's a fact.” The woman then began to pull box after box from the top shelf of her closet.

“Do you need help?”

“Duh! I'm sixty-eight years old!”

The girl quickly rushed to the woman's aid and was immediately choked up by the layer of dust that had settled on the top of the cardboard. “What is all of this?” she wheezed.

“Fashion! Not that you'd know anything about that,” she said as she popped the first box open. The woman pulled out the canary yellow boat neck midi dress with short black and white striped  sleeves causing Ronis’ jaw dropped.

“That's stunning.”

“I wore this to the Princess Margaret luncheon in 1966 a week after giving birth to David.”

“You were this tiny a week after?!”

“Of course! I didn't eat with a shovel while pregnant. David ruined my flower, he wasn't about to ruin swimsuit season too.”

Ronis laughed, slightly uncomfortable but she'd never let the woman see it.

“And this,” she said as she pulled out a short and sheer dress composed completely out of red, black and white poker chips, “was worn when I met Tina Turner. She said she liked it and I said 'your legs are nice and all but there's no way you can pull this off’. I got kicked out of the club shortly thereafter because Tina's a jealous bitch.”

“You met Tina Turner?!”

“I threw a drink on Tina Turner.”

“Oh my God. That's bonkers.”

“I caught her as she was exiting the club, threw the drink and ran before her security could catch me. I mean, I think Ike had the right idea because that bitch is evil.”

“Well, domestic violence is never okay,” the girl defended.

“Bullshit! Some people just need to be hit and other people crave being hit. Early in our relationship, my husband and I dabbled in the drug scene. We'd get high, fight over any little thing that'd escalate to goddamn boxing match, have the best sex ever, smoke a cigarette, go to bed and then do it all over again the next day. That’s the best kind of violence, but we’ve calmed down. No more cocaine and punches, just weed and a few spanks.”

The girl pursed her lips and thought about kittens to block the imagery from her mind.

“Alright, you. Open that box, let's see what we got.”

Ronis simply shock her head as she opened the box and gasped when she saw the fuschia and green checkerboard trench coat with fur lined cuffs. “This is so perfect! I love fuschia and green together if you couldn't tell,” she said as she batted her eyelashes to show off her creative makeup.

“Yeah, saw it. Hate it. Mod is black liner and or white liner, maybe a little pearlized white shadow with bold lashes. Other than that, the face was clean and free of all that extra nonsense.”

“Well, Mrs. Riddle, with all do respect, this is my style. I take inspiration from the sixties and the nineties and make it my own. I'm not trying to live in the past.”

“Well living in the past would do you some good because what you're doing now isn't working.”

“Well,” Ronis emphasized, “what works for me typically doesn't work for everyone. I can admit that my style is unique-”

“Unique is a delicate way to put it.”

“It is a very delicate way to put it and it's the only way I'll put it because I'd never conform to a set era or style. Maybe I feel like wearing all neon one day and maybe I feel like wearing a cat snuggie next. Style is subjective but a bad attitude is just toxic,” the girl ranted, doing her best to keep her tone at a respectful level.

“Ughh,” the woman groaned. “So political.”

“I was raised to stand up for what I believe in. And I don't think you have to tear other people down to validate your style.”

“My style doesn't need validation!”

“It doesn't, but you clearly do!” the girl exploded before covering her mouth, regret instantly washing over her.

“How dare you disrespect me in my own home?!”

“I'm truly sorry. Because you're Oliver's grandmother, the last thing I wanted to do was disrespect you but you've insulted me since I walked through those doors and I gritted my teeth but you're just a bit much.”

“Pfft, I know that!” The woman folded her arms. “Well nobody has ever said it to me but I know it.”

The woman's husband rushed into the room. “Is everything okay, honey?”

“Yeah, just getting put in my place by this bitch,” she sighed. “All of the other ones just kinda cried to the boys after meeting with me. But this one is feisty, I'm not sure I can handle that.”

“Well, if you want me to leave or whatever, I will,” Ronis offered.

“No, no. If you leave now you'll lose the respect that you've just earned.”

The girl grinned.

“Wipe that smirk off of your face because you only get a little respect. I'll never fully respect f that makeup.”

“And I can respect that as long as it's delivered as constructive criticism and not attacks.”

“Don't tell me not to attack! You...you...ah fuck it, where's the blunt?”

Her husband quickly lit a fresh blunt and handed it to her just as an anxious Oliver appeared in the doorway. “Is everything okay?”

“Where did you find this girl?” the woman asked. “I’m trying to give her my vintage shit and she's busting my chops in here.”

“Really?!” the girl squealed. “I'd love some of your vintage pieces! Literally nothing would make me happier, oh my Godddd-”

“Alright, alright, calm the fuck down. You're killing my buzz.” The woman took a deep inhale of the blunt. “After dinner or whatever the fuck we're doing, you can go through the boxes and take what you want. It's all too small for me and I'd rather it be in the hands of someone who'd wear it terribly than collecting dust.”

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Riddle,” the girl said excitedly.

“What are you a cop? Call me Pam.”

“Grand, your name is Mary,” Oliver said, slightly concerned.

“Well, I like the name Pam!”

“Okay, fine.”

“Let's go open these motherfucking presents.”

Ronis practically jumped into her boyfriend's arms. “Did you miss me?”

“Every second that we're apart.”

“Aww.” The couple shared a kiss before their fingers were interlocked as they made their way back into the living room. As soon as they turned the corner, the boy was ambushed by three small children.

“Oli! Oli! Oli! Oli!” they chanted as they clung to his back and legs, nearly tipping him over.

“Whoa, be careful,” Ronis got out as she nervously watched the boy secure his hold around Oliver's neck with one hand and pull at his nose with the other.

“Ow, Juju that hurts!”

“Give me some candy and I'll leave you aloneeee.”

“I don't have any candy! Go ask Uncle Duke!”

“Liar!” the girl wrapped around his right leg accused. “Uncle Duke said he gave all his candy to you!”

The third child reached into his pockets and pulled out a handful of chocolates. “Found it!”

“Hey, get off of me jerks!”

Ronis quickly retrieved the remaining candy from her boyfriend's pocket and placed it in her purse. “You now have your share. This is Oliver's and I will hold onto it for him.”

“Who is this arsehole?” the youngest child demanded.

“Oh my God, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

“Ew, no! I kiss my girlfriend!”

The girl laughed in disbelief. “Well you put me in my place.”

“Ronis, little cousins. Little cousins, this is my girlfriend.”

“Ewwwww!” they said in unison. “Who would date you? You pee in the bed!”

“I do not! That was twelve years ago and you guys weren't even born.”

“My sister told me!” said Juju.

“My brother that if we kicked you in the bollocks that it wouldn't hurt cause you don't have any,” the girl added.

A pained expression crossed Oliver's face and Ronis fought the urge to rip the children off the boy.

“Where are your parents?” she demanded. “Would they like to know how you speak to people?”

“It's okay,” Oliver mumbled. “Guys, I'm gonna go to the bathroom really quick. Do you mind getting off?”

“Bryan said you have to sit to peeeee.”

“No I don't,” the teen practically whimpered.

“Then let us see!”

Ronis had reached her limit and pried Juju off of her boyfriend's neck.

“Stranger danger! Don't touch me!”

“Oh, you've yet to see dangerous,” she assured. “You two, get off of his legs.��

They blew raspberries at her.

“I'll give you each a chocolate ball.”

The kids quickly obliged and let go as she reached into her purse. She grabbed the sweetz and tossed them across the room causing all three of them to chase after the treats.

“Good riddance,” Ronis said with a scowl as she turned to her boyfriend. He was clearly defeated as he stared down at his shoes but she simply smoothed his hair. “Look at me.”

Oliver slowly met her eyes.

“You are perfect.”

The corners of his mouth curled but it wasn't the smile that she wanted.

“Let's play a game,” she said as she grabbed a third piece of chocolate from her bag. The girl unwrapped the foil and placed the candy in her mouth. “Want it? Come and get it.”

The boy couldn't help but grin as he pulled her into a tender kiss.

“Tossing the candy across the room was genius,” a female voice said from behind Ronis causing her to break the kiss. “I may try that sometime.”

Oliver groaned. “Go away, Alice,” he warned the sixteen year old. Before Ronis could question it, her boyfriend led her into the living room, only to freeze at the sight of the group of teenagers and young adults sprawled across the sofa.

“Well if it isn't little Oli!” Bryan shouted as he placed the blunt to his lips. “Got a dick yet?”

Ronis’ jaw dropped and before she could say anything, the boy did. “Got rid of your STDs yet?” he retorted.

The twenty year old quickly quickly pushed himself off of the couch. “Is it illegal to hit a lady?”

“Is it illegal to spray you in the eyes with Mace?” Ronis growled.

Bryan chuckled before giving her the once over. “You're pretty cute. How about I show you what a full length Riddle looks like?” he asked, tone and every inch of his body smug.

Oliver saw nothing but red as he shoved the boy back onto the couch and before Bryan could retaliate with a punch, Pam entered the room carrying an armful of presents.

“The fuck is going on in here?”

“Oliver pushed Bryan,” said Alice.

“Oliver, keep your filthy claws to yourself!”

“He said something inappropriate to Ronis!”

“Who the fuck do you think you're shouting at?”

The boy instantly composed himself. “Sorry, Grand.”

“Now if Bryan said something, this girl can handle herself. I don't need my grandkids pushing each other like sissys. You should've just punched him, I would've respected you more.”

“Yes ma'am,” he said quietly.

“Who's punching who?” David asked as he entered the room with a full turkey leg in hand.

“None of your fucking business,” his mother groaned. “Get your brothers so we can open this expensive shit that I still have the receipts for.”

David turned around and shouted back into the house. “Little bitches! Mummy wants you!”

His three younger brothers rushed into the room.

“Who are you calling a bitch, bitch?” Dylan retorted.

“You who takes it up the ass, bitch.”

“You smell like ass, bitch!” Duke randomly added to whoever would fight him for the statement. Daniel quickly pulled him into a headlock while David twisted Dylan's arm behind his back just because.

“Hey, you little shits! Stop it now!” Pam said in a tone they'd feared since childhood. They immediately obeyed. “You're killing my goddamn buzz!” Her husband handed her the blunt from earlier and she took a deep puff. “Each of you, go sit by your motherfucking spawns so it can make this gift giving easier. Although none of you motherfuckers deserve anything. Goddamn pussy mouth motherfuckers.”

Ronis covered her mouth to suppress the laughter at the way her new militant friend ran her household.

David wrapped his arm around Oliver and kissed the top of the boy's head. “How are you?”

“I'm fine.”

The man froze. “Who did it?”

The boy tried to pull away but the man's hold was unbreakable. “Did what?” he groaned.

“If anyone's fucking with you, you need to let me know because I'll drop any of these motherfuckers. Except Grand, she terrifies me.”

“Nobody is bothering me, Dad,” he sighed in exasperation.

“Except someone who needs to learn that what's in someone else's pants isn't any of their business,” Ronis grumbled. Oliver nudged her side.

“What was that?” David pressed.

“Nothing,” Oliver rushed. “And no, Ronis didn't do anything either.”

The man gave the girl a look before turning his attention to his brothers who tried to squeeze onto the couch with their children. While Dylan stood in the corner with his new lover sharing a blunt as they blew smoke into each other's mouths.

“There he is blowing shit again,” David joked to which he simply got a middle finger.

Daniel squished himself between two of Oliver's older cousins, Alice and one of the boy's Ronis  had gotten rid of earlier while Duke was buried in Juju and his three other young children while his older sets of teens and young adults stood brooding in the background.

“How many fucking grandkids do we have?” Pam asked her husband.

The man quickly did the math. “Fourteen and they're all here besides Jackie.”

“Well, did you call her?”

“Yes! She said she'd come a bit later.”

“You guys invited Jackie without telling me?” David asked.

“Duh! She's my granddaughter and just because you don't get along with her doesn't mean I don't.”

“I get along with her but ugh, Mum, it's just complicated. She's a bigot.”

“Bigot or not, she's your daughter and you'll deal with it!”

“Not when she's being cold to my son!”

The woman responded by slapping her son across the face. “Don't you dare raise your voice at me!”

“Yes Ma'am.”

“Now my grandchild was invited to my house and when she gets here, you and Oliver will be nice to her.”

David gritted his teeth but didn't protest any further.

The woman placed the blunt between her lips. “Okay I got whore dolls for the girls and bebe guns for the boys. If you're under twelve, come and get it.”

The small group of children charged the woman as she handed out the sloppily wrapped gift boxes.

“Grand, why don't we have a tree?” JuJu asked.

“Because I smoked them all, sweetheart. Next! I have wine flavoured blunt wrappers and tequila samples for everyone between twelve and eighteen.”

“She can't be serious,” Ronis whispered in her boyfriend's ear.

Clearly embarrassed, the boy nodded. “She is.”

“Which one of you wanted the Xanax?!” Pam hollered.

“Me,” Bryan said before the woman tossed him the pills. “Thanks, Grand.”

“You're welcome, you little shit. Um, who needed spray paint?” Another of them raised their hand and quickly accepted the can. “Don't use it in my house and don't be huffing that shit.”

Oliver and Ronis were handed blunt wrappers and three small bottles of tequila.

“I really can't accept thi-” the girl got out before her boyfriend frantically pressed their lips together to silence her.

“Excuse me?” Pam asked, glaring down her nose at the couple.

“Nothing, Grand,” Oliver assured.   

“Alright you little shits, start exchanging gifts.”

“Did you get your kids anything?” Duke asked.

“Yeah, I gave you the gift of life, motherfucker. Be grateful.”

Moments later, the room grew louder as the family began to exchange gifts that Oliver practically had to shout so that his girlfriend could hear him. “Telling her that you didn't want the gifts would've opened up an entire new can of worms.”

“But Oli I can't pretend to like something that I don't. Whatever it results in, I'm honest.”

“I know, babe, I know. But I want you guys to like each other. I'm stuck with her and I'm obsessed with you so I really need to make this work.”

The girl grinned as she kissed him. “So I have your first gift with me, but you have to promise not to be upset with me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “It depends.” She frowned and handed him the gift bag. The boy reached inside and pulled out the card first and began to read aloud. “To my boyfriend who likes handing out candy like he's the goddamn Easter Bunny. Love Ronis.” Oliver made a face as he retrieved the bunny ears and pale pink bucket.

“I'm sorryyyy,” Ronis offered. “I was still really pissed at you when I bought it. Your other gift is at the dorm.”

The boy chuckled before placing the ears on his head. “You could've at least gotten me candy or carrots or something.”

The girl giggled.

“And the only person I'll be giving my candy to is you.”

“Promise?”

Oliver extended his pinky and Ronis grinned as she wrapped her finger around his. “Oh!” he gasped as if he'd remembered something. The boy pulled a few loose papers from his coat pocket and handed them to the girl. “Merry Christmas.”

The girl scanned over the information, lists of names and phone numbers but she couldn't make sense of it. “What's this?”

“I took it upon myself to call Jaylen and get the name, address and phone number of every stadium he plays at and every club in the area. I called one and told them that we're an awesome, London based band and the guy said the next time we're in America, he'd love to meet with us.”

“Oh my God, really?! Babe, that's amazing!” Ronis squealed in excitement as she threw her arms around his neck.

“Roli is gonna be so real.”

“Roli is already real! They'll write fanfiction about us one day.”

The boy chuckled and kissed the girl, only to freeze when his grandmother shouted across the room. “Hey, Jackie!”

“Hi, Grand!”

“Hi, Grand!” three little voices clamored.

“Ah, damn, honey why didn't you remind me that we had three great-grandshits?!”

Oliver's blood turned to ice. “Oh God.”

“What's wrong?”

“I haven't seen Jackie in person in nearly three years...and I've never met her kids,” he whispered in a blind panic. “Oh God, I can't breathe.”

“Babe, it's okay,” Ronis cooed. “Let's go to the terrace.” As the girl led the boy towards the back of the flat she glanced over her shoulder, catching a glimpse of the hazel eyed brunette whose beauty nearly took her breath away.

Making it onto the balcony, Oliver snatched off his bunny ears as he continued to gasp for air and David was seconds behind him.

“Oli, Oli, it's okay buddy,” the man rushed as he pulled an inhaler from his pocket and handed it to the boy. Oliver placed the pump to his lips, taking two deep inhales as he pumped.

“Better?” David asked.

The boy nodded as he returned the inhaler.

“If you don't wanna see Jackie, you don't have to.”

“Dad, it's not me that doesn't back out of plans or rushes off of the phone when we speak,” he wheezed.

“I know, I know. She's a bitch. So just stay out here and take a Xanax or something. I'll be right back. Ronis, take care of my boy.”

“I will,” she promised.

David smiled, the sincere most sincere gesture  she'd ever seen on the man since they met, before returning into the flat. Oliver covered his face into his hands and without a word his girlfriend wrapped his arms around him and pressed her cheek against the warmth that emanated from his chest.

“Your heart is pounding,” Ronis sighed before kissing his neck, allowing her to finally hear the sobbing that he was doing his best to conceal.

“Babe, it’ll be okay,” Ronis cooed but was taken aback when the boy snatched away from her.

“Stop saying it'll be okay because it won't! It hasn't been okay for fourteen years, what makes you think it'll all of a sudden, magically, be okay?!”

The girl had never seen the boy so upset but his shouting made her defensive. “I don't know, Oliver! Maybe a fucking Christmas miracle! I'm only trying to help make you feel better!”

“Nothing's going to make me feel better, Ronis! It fucking sucks! It sucks to have memories of your sister being nice to you and then her hating your guts all of a sudden! I haven't even met my nieces and nephew! I'm not a murderer or a child molester but I can't be around them. I see all this shit on social media and they're so beautiful and I can't even be around them,” he choked out before breaking down again; sobbing into his hands.

“Babyyy,” Ronis said helplessly as she wrapped her arms around the boy. The girl didn't know what to say so she remained silent as she figured the best thing she could do for him is to just be there.

Despite the icy frost searing his tears to face and his girlfriend's comforting hugs, Oliver continued to weep uncontrollably and it brought up all the vulnerability that he hated. The boy felt sick to his stomach and lightheaded. “I c-c-can't br-breathe.”

“Oh my God, babe no, please calm down.” When the boy continued to wheeze the girl did her best not to panic as his face grew paler. “Oli! Where's that inhaler thing?”

“Da-Da-”

The girl quickly rushed back into the flat in search of the boy's father.

---

After leaving his son in Ronis’ care, David made his way through the flat to the living room. When he made eye contact with Jackie, he smiled without showing his teeth. Before either could speak, the man was ambushed by his grandchildren.

“Grandpa! Grandpa!” they squealed.

“Hey, guys! And what did I tell you about calling me Grandpa? It's Big Daddy D to you.”

“Mum said that we can't call you that,�� the boy informed.

David exaggerated a gasp. “Why not?”

The smallest of the children urged him to lean down so that she could whisper in his ear. “Because it sounds in-sa-ppropriate.”

The man gasped even louder. “Oh no! Not in-sa-ppropriate!”

“It's pronounced, 'inappropriate’. Josie just has a speech impediment,” the oldest retorted.

“Hey, there's nothing wrong with speech impediment, Jaz. I've been known to slur my S’sss,” he said in an over lisp that made the kids giggle. “So I guess you can call me Super Dragon Emperor of the World. Is that appropriate?”

“Yes!” they cheered in unison.

“Awesome! How about you guys see what your cousins are doing? I heard that Great Uncle Duke gave them candy.”

“Candy!” The kids all rushed off in different directions.

“Hi, Dad,” Jackie sighed.

“Hi,” David replied as he wrapped his arms around his daughter. Whenever the man got the chance to hug her, he was taken back to a time to when she was still his little girl. “How are you?”

“Besides Grand’s threats for me to come, I'm good. And yourself?”

“I'd be better if I could celebrate Christmas with both of my children.”

“Well, isn't J-”

“His name is Oliver,” he aggressively corrected.

The woman took a deep breath. “Well, isn't...Oliver...here?”

“He's on the terrace.”

“Then there you have it. Both your children are here.”

“Jackie, I'm not going to play these games with you. You know exactly what I mean.”

“I don't know what you want from me, Dad.”

“I want you to talk to your brother!”

“I don't have a brother!”

David quickly pursed his lips to prevent himself from saying something that he knew he'd regret. “Jackie,” he said quietly. “I-”

“David!” Ronis panted as she sprinted towards the man. “Oli needs that inhaler! He can't breathe and he's pale in the face and-”

Before she could get another word out, David was practically knocking the girl over to get to the terrace. Ronis turned on her heel to follow him but was stopped by Jackie's inquiry.

“Um, excuse me?” she politely began. “What's going on with...Oliver?”

“He's having a panic attack. He's upset that no matter how hard he tries, some people just won't accept him. Even people who should love him unconditionally,” Ronis said underhandedly.

Jackie raised an eyebrow. “And how do you know J- Oliver?”

“I'm his girlfriend,” she chirped proudly.

The woman immediately wrinkled her nose in disgust. “You do know that 'he’ was born a she, right?”

“Oh, I'm well aware of what Oli is. And more importantly, I'm aware of who Oli is. And that's the most amazing person that I've ever met in my entire life. You don't even deserve to have the same blood in your veins as he does because you're simply despicable. I don't know how you live with yourself, with all that goddamn venom swirling about inside of you and I literally hope and pray that none of your children have to go through what my boyfriend's going through right now because of you. Ugh,” Ronis groaned. Sick of looking at the woman, she turned on her heel ignoring Jackie's shouting behind her.

“Who do you think you are?! Don't you dare mention my children ever again, bitch! Jaz, Onyx, Josie let's go!”

“Aww, Mum! We're playing with our cousins!”

“And we just got here! Why do we have to leave?”

“Who's leaving?!” Pam demanded as she rushed back into the living room. “Not before we eat and shit or whatever’s left!”

“Grand, that stupid bitch, that lesbian!” she screeched in hopes that Ronis would hear, “practically called me a terrible mother! She doesn't know me and I won't tolerate this sort of disrespect!”

The elderly woman kept a calm tone as she spoke. “Jackie...you have two seconds to compose yourself and stop yelling in my goddamn face. You're killing my fucking buzz.”

Her husband rushed to her side and placed the blunt between his wife's lips. She took a deep inhale, held it in her lungs for ten seconds before blowing the smoke into her husband's mouth.

“I love you,” he slurred before rushing away just as quickly as he'd appeared.

The woman exhaled loudly. “Sorry, Grand

But she's a goddamn stranger and has no busy speaking on my children.”

“When was the last time that you called or stopped by to see me?”

“What?”

“You have no place calling someone a stranger when I don't think I've seen you since the little one was in shitty diapers.”

“Grand, I'm busy.”

“Busy doing what? Sitting on dicks that aren't attached to your husband?”

“Whoa, no, I-”

“You have three children by two different men and you're on your second husband who's such a fucking loser who can't see right through your bullshit.”

“Grand, I don't have bullshit.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up. I know a whore when I see one. And there's nothing wrong with that, you're my granddaughter and I love you. I just wished you'd visit more often.”

“As I said earlier, I'm busy and if you think I'm such a whore then why would I wanna be in your home?”

“Because no matter who or what you are, you're still my goddamn family! Just like your brother. He's my family and I'd never turn my back on him! Do you not understand that concept?!”

Jackie pursed her lips as she stared down at her leather boots.

“You know what, if you wanna leave, go ahead. I don't want that shit in my house. I'm happy. I just got off probation, I have an amazing buzz and all of my family that wants to be here is here, but I don't need that bigot shit in my house. I went to Woodstock for a reason. You get that nasty shit from your mother and I never liked that fucking bitch. So gather up your little shits and get the fuck out.” Pam turned and made her way towards the kitchen. “I'm gonna cut the ham and shit, anyone who's hungry follow me! Happy birthday little baby Jesus!”

“Kids get over here, now!” Jackie shouted, ignoring their overlapping protests. “Hush.”

“Mum, why can't we stay? We love our cousins and we never get to see them,” Jaz whined.

“Because they're crazy. And bound to be unhappy,” she ranted as she tightened the scarves around their necks.

“Everyone here is having so much fun,” her son retorted.

“We're the only ones who are unhappy,” Josie sniffled.

Jackie paused. “Really?”

“Yes!” the three of them said in unison.

“We have Peter and Julie, but do you know how weird it is to have an aunt and uncle in your age group?” Jaz asked.

“Yeah, they try and boss us around,” the boy added.

“Well-”

“And since they're always out of town, we hardly see them either. The only kids we're around are the ones at school, but nothing compares to family.”

“Where are the glasses?” Jackie heard Ronis ask from the kitchen. “Oli needs water.”

Jackie sighed. “Um...hang your coats. We aren't leaving yet.”

“Yayyy!” the three of them squealed as they tossed their jackets to the floor before taking off.

“Hey, I said hang, ugh, nevermind...have fun.” The woman hesitantly hung her own coat on an available hook by the door before slowly making her way through the place.

“Niece!” Duke shouted as he pulled her into a tight bear hug. “I'm either super fucked up or you're actually here.”

“No... I'm...here,” she gasped. “You're...squeezing... too...tight.”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he said as he released her. “How long has it been?”

“Oh, I don't know, Uncle Duke. A few years? But you Skype me all the time!”

“I shouldn't have to Skype you when we live in the same city,” he said as he finished off his fifth beer.

“Yeah... I guess you're right.”

“So what's up? Did you just come to pick up your presents and leave?”

Jackie frowned. “The fact you think that about me is pretty upsetting.”

“You've yet to show otherwise.”

“Well, this year is different. It's about family.”

“All of your family or the family that fits into what you think is socially acceptable?”

“All of my family.”

The man smiled. “Good to hear. Wanna do a line  with me?”

“Um...no thanks,” she said before making her way further into the flat.

“Whatttt? I thought Christmas was about family!”

Jackie chuckled as she shook her head. When she arrived at the patio door, she hesitated, took a deep breath and even contemplated running before she stood her ground and knocked.

---

Oliver clung to the icy metal railing of the terrace as he did his best to breath when his father rushed out to his side.

“Buddy, sit down,” David ordered as he helped the boy into the frost covered patio furniture. The man handed his son the emergency inhaler and the boy took the usual two puffs but it wasn't enough so he took a second and a third. “Damn, Oli I may have to get you more than an emergency one. You aren't even asthmatic but this shit happening more often. That panic shit is no joke.”

After a fifth puff, the boy was finally able to accept oxygen into his lungs. He took an appreciative deep breath.

“Are you okay?”

The boy nodded.

“Let's go inside.”

“I don't want to.”

“You're gonna die of frostbite.”

“Seems fitting,” he sighed.

“Please don't say shit like that son. I know this is tough, but at the end of the day, you gotta stay tough.”

The boy's insides felt like they'd burst into flames as he suppressed his tears. He hated crying in front of his father more than anything in the world. Dad’s given you everything, why are you bitching like it isn't enough? he thought. And just before a tear could spill onto his already frost whipped cheeks, to his extreme relief, his girlfriend returned. He was instantly comforted by her presence.

“Ugh, what a bitch,” she grumbled.

“What's wrong?” Oliver asked in attempt to distract himself.

“Nothing, baby. Are you okay? Do you need water or something?”

The boy nodded and the girl rushed back into the flat to return moments later with a glass. She handed it to him and Oliver took a sip before placing it on the table.

“Better?” she asked as she knelt by the boy's chair.

“Yeah, I'm okay.” He grabbed the girl's hand and guided her into his lap.

Ronis affectionately wiped the boy's cheeks to free him from his tear stains before running her fingers through his hair. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he replied before risking his life to rustle the girl's hair.

“Babeeee,” she groaned unleashing a barrage of pinches onto his arms and belly.

“Ow! Owww!” the boy giggled. “Okay, okay you win!”

“Of course I win! Don't touch my hair, jerk!”

“I won't,” he said mischievously.

“I'm going to slaughter you,” she warned.

Oliver grinned before kissing her twice.

“I hate to admit it but you guys really do look great together,” David said with a light chuckle.

“Oh my God, Dad,” the boy gasped in complete embarrassment. “I totally forgot that you were out here.”

“So did I,” Ronis sheepishly admitted. “Sometimes when I see him it's like everyone else around us disappears.”

“I appreciate it,” the boy's father said. “I have to get used to the idea that someone may love my son just as much as I do.”

The girl's cheeks turned a rosy hue.

“Oh, you have a lot of work to do, woman. That position comes with tons of responsibilities. You have to do his laundry, take care of him when he's sick, blow on his soup if it's too hot-”

“Dad,” the boy protested.

“No, no, I fully accept the 'loving Oliver’ package and everything that comes with it,” Ronis assured.

“You have to make a blood oath! I have a scalpel in my car and-”

“Dad!”

“I'm just sayinggg. It's gonna be hard relinquishing control.”

“You have plenty of time to adjust. I'll be around for awhile,” she promised. “And I make really good chicken parmesan.”

David smiled. “I will hold you to that.”

The girl turned to her boyfriend and winked. Oliver wrapped his arms around her, laying his head on her chest.

Ronis laughed. “Such a cozy spot right?”

“Mhm. You're warm.”

“Thanks, babe.”

“Oh! I have to get your gifts.”

“Aww, David you didn't have to get me anything.”

“Ugh, I know,” he groaned, “but Oli insisted.”

“What?” the boy interjected. “No I didn't.”

“I'm jokingggggg,” the man cackled just as a knock sounded at the patio door. “Who the fuck knocks to come outside? Who is it?!”

“Jackie,” the woman replied.

Oliver became stiff in his seat as he glanced over his shoulder at the edge of the balcony; the only exit.

David and Ronis scowled. “What do you want?” the man asked.

“I’d like to talk to Oliver... if that's okay.”

The man turned to his son who was visibly uncomfortable. “You don't have to speak to her if you don't want to, Buddy.”

“Um... I-I-I-” the boy stammered.

“Whatever you decide, I'll be by your side. I'd never leave you alone with her,” he practically snarled.

Oliver gulped and nodded. “Okay.”

“Come on out, Jackie.”

The boy's heart pounded against his chest as he anxiously watched the doorknob turn.

Ronis kissed the top of his head, reminding the boy of her presence and he quickly took advantage of it by grabbing her hand. “Do I look okay?” he whispered.

“Is that a serious question? You're way too perfect for that word,” she said, repeating what he'd told her earlier.

Oliver smiled and stole a kiss before his stomach went into a frenzy at the sight of his sister.

“Hi, everyone...hi Oliver,” she said quietly.

“H-H-Hi, Ja-Jackie,” he stammered as he peaked around his girlfriend's chest like a small timid child. Ronis gave his hand a firm squeeze.

“Can I have a hug?”

“Jackie, let's not push it,” David growled.

“It's okay, Dad,” the boy exhaled as he eased the girl out of his lap. After standing, Oliver quickly smoothed the wrinkles out of his slacks.

“Oh my God, you're so tall now!”

Oliver instantly turned bright crimson. “Yeah,” he said bashfully. “I get my height from Dad.”

“Six foot two baby,” David said proudly.

Jackie extended her arms. “Get over here.”

He slowly approached the woman and she met the boy halfway. After she wrapped her arms around her brother, Jackie immediately began to cry. “You're so handsome, Oliver. You have a mustache and a goatee. My husband doesn't even have hair on his chin.”

The boy chuckled. “Thank you.”

Jackie broke the hug and wiped her eyes only to break down again. “I missed you.”

If Oliver was being honest with himself, the spectacle made him uncomfortable and confused. “Really?”

She nodded. “I've been thinking a lot and I just really have so much to get off of my chest.”

“Um, okay,” he said nervously, wiping his hands on the sides of his trousers to keep the sweat at bay.

“And I was wondering if we could speak alone.”

“No fucking way,” David protested. “That's not going to happen.”

“Dad, I'm not going to do anything,” Jackie said defensively. “I won't hurt your precious baby.”

“Nothing has stopped you before,” he retorted.

“Dad, it's okay,” Oliver said quietly, barely believing the statement himself.

“Are you sure?”

The boy hesitated but nodded.

David went to protest but quickly obliged, making his son suspicious. “I'll be...right inside...if you need me,” he said before entering the flat and immediately pressing his ear against the door.

Oliver turned to his girlfriend. “Do you wanna go inside too?”

Ronis folded her arms. “No.”

“Babe-”

“No, I'm just not buying this shit. A minute ago she was calling me a lesbian and now all of a sudden she wants to be all in your face like she's sincere.”

“This is a family matter and it doesn't concern you,” Jackie growled.

“Ronis has been more family to me than you've ever been,” Oliver defended and a pained expression instantly took over his sister's face.

“I'm sorry,” she sniffled. “I'm embarrassed enough as it is and I'd like to tell you how I feel without additional judgement from a third party.”

The boy looked at Ronis.

“Please,” Jackie pleaded.

“Two minutes,” Oliver said sternly.

“Okay.”

Ronis sighed before they shared an extra tender kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

The girl then made her way towards the flat, shooting Jackie a scowl as she passed the woman. When she opened the door, David was conveniently tying his shoe. Ronis chuckled to herself as she entered and closed the door behind her.

“Hey, that's my spot!” Oliver heard his father say.

“Well, scoot over,” Ronis groaned.

“Diana Ross, your hair is in my way. Tame that shit!”

“Never.”

David gagged. “Oh God, a piece just went in my mouth.”

“Maybe if you'd stop talking it wouldn't! And ew, I totally have to bleach my hair now.”

“Sssh, they'll hear you!”

“Pfft, you're the loud mouth,” Ronis retorted.

“True.”

Oliver suppressed his laughter. “That's as alone as we'll get.”

“I guess I'll have to take it.”

“Do you want to sit?”

Jackie shook her head. “I'm sure standing is way warmer than sitting on a frost chair,” she said through chattering teeth.

The boy frowned. “Where's your coat?”

“Hanging up at the front.”

“Take mine,” the boy offered as he removed his jacket.

“Oh...are you sure?”

“Yeah, I insist.”

Jackie pursed her lips as she accepted the coat and slid it on. “Thank you, Oliver.”

“You're welcome. I have to admit that you calling me Oliver is kinda strange.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “Versus 'kid’ or 'hey you’. Definitely.”

“And I'm really sorry about that. I just...there isn't a really good excuse but growing up, it was just Mum and I.”

Oliver cringed at how easily she could refer to the woman.

“As a young doctor, Dad was always working and for years I'd only see him for like ten minutes a day. So Mum and I-”

“Could you please not call her that?”

“Sorry...um, Jennifer and I developed such a strong bond. Just like the one you and Dad have. So when they started to argue more and more over you and inevitably the divorce came about, it was like I was forced to choose between them. And I had to side with the person who was always there for me, ya know?”

“I guess,” he sighed.

“And at the time I was like 'no, this child can't even read, how is she gonna demand that we accept an entire new identity?’ We figured that it was a phase, you know kids put on an Elsa costume and suddenly they have ice powers for a few days. But when a few days turned into weeks then months, Jennifer started to get annoyed. She wanted her little girl back but Dad would practically tell her 'our child is transgender. Deal with it.’ And Jen's just like, ‘no, this child isn't going to tell me what to do. I'm the parent’ and Dad would come back with 'we want him to be happy’ and then the 'she’s four! Tons of things make her happy! She got excited over finding a lego the other day!’ And it got worse and worse and they'd just blow up on each other all the time. It was tough.”

“I'm sorry,” Oliver said quietly.

“Oh, please don't apologize. It wasn't your fault.”

The boy wanted to object to the statement but he remained silent.

“When the divorce happened, Dad essentially said that if I didn't accept you as my brother then he wanted nothing to do with my bigotry and that really hurt me. Just because I didn't accept or hell, even understand this trans thing, doesn't mean I didn't love you. Oliver, I love you,” she sniffled. “I've always loved you. Over the years I did make attempts to see you in person when I wasn't busy with school but did you know that each time I tried, Dad would pull that overly protective shit and tell me that I didn't deserve to see you and would hover over me as I played with you? On top of that Jen would say 'oh, you wanna be over there with him? Fine.’ And even she'd stop talking to me for weeks on end. So it just really sucked. And as you got older and lost interest in toys, I grew more uncomfortable with just trying to talk to you while Dad was scowling at me. So I gradually decreased it to just phone calls and even then I could hear him in the background scoffing. He's just not the easiest to deal with sometimes.”

“Trust me, I know. And Jackie, I had no idea that it was like that for you...but I have a question.”

“I'll answer any questions you have.”

“How come you never let me meet the kids?” he asked, trying to mask his trembling voice.

“To be honest, I didn't want them to be confused. I still don't understand the trans thing myself and how would I explain to them your baby photos to you being their uncle now, ya know? I showed them our pictures from when we were younger and the next time they saw Jen they asked about you and she was like 'yeah, I had another daughter once.’ and then whenever Dad comes around and he talks about you alllll the time and I really don't think they'd get that you're the same person... I don't know what they're little minds are capable of. They actually just told me off before I came out here so,” she chuckled. “I think it's time that you met them… if you want.”

The boy froze. “Um, I-I-I don't know. Wh-What if they get confused and th-their little heads start to hurt? I-I-I don't think they'd li-like me-, um-”

“Well, if they get confused, we'll do our best to explain to them what's going on. It's about time we all become more educated on this.

Although I never thought of you as my brother, I always loved you as my little sibling. I'm really sorry for that. You deserve an identity.”

“It's okay, Jackie. I'm really glad we could have this conversation.”

“Me too,” she said with a smile so genuine that for the first time the boy was comfortable around her. Oliver extended his arms and without a word or awkwardness, the siblings shared a hug. “Come on. I want you to meet the kids.”

The boy took a deep breath and allowed the girl to lead him to the door. As soon as she opened it, Ronis and David spilled out onto the terrace but to their surprise, the man was gagged with a Christmas stocking and practically hog-tied as Ronis restrained him further by sitting on his legs.

“What the-”

“He tried to interrupt your beautiful moment! I mean, I still don't like you for being a bitch to me but it was only fair that Oli got to hear your side of things and every time you said something remotely negative about this one, he was ready to break down the door,” she panted.

“Babe, you can take my dad?” Oliver asked, clearly impressed.

“Yeah,” she said bashfully. “Krav Maga, the official self-defense system of the Israeli army. Maybe I'll show you sometime...if you think you can handle it.”

The boy gulped. “Sure.”

“Crazy thing is, so many people walked by as I was sitting on him and they didn't say a thing. Pam even laughed,” she said as she finally released the man and helped him up.

David spat the stocking at her. “You goddamn lunatic! I'll with you later,” he turned to Jackie, “but you! How dare you tell my son all these lies about me?!”

“Cut the bullshit, Dad! You practically cut Mum and I out of Oliver's life after we wouldn't accept the trans thing! We tried to still be there but you literally wouldn't answer the door!”

“Why would I want you bigots to be around my child?!”

“Dad, I'm not a bigot! No, I don't understand this stuff but it doesn't mean I'm not willing to learn! You just told us 'his name is Oliver and he's a boy’ without any explanations, how else were we supposed to take that?!”

“Just accept it!” David exploded, vein in his neck  ready to self destruct.

“Dad,” Oliver intervened. “Calm down.”

The man looked at his son with rage filled eyes before punching the patio door, missing Ronis by a few inches and effectively putting a massive dent in the lumber.

“Oh my God,” the girl gasped as she made her way out of the path of any future blows.

The boy quickly grabbed his father by the lapels of his coat and slammed him against the stone walling of the side of the flat. “You almost hit her!” he growled.

The duo had never put their hands on each other before and David did his best to suppress his demolished feelings. “You're gonna attack me

.. over some girl?”

“She's not just some girl! And if you would've hit her, I would've never forgiven you!”

“Oh, but she can hog-tie me?! Fuck that bullshit, Oliver!” David wanted to leave, but couldn't bring himself to push the boy away.

“You seriously need to calm down! Why are you so defensive?! Because what Jackie said is true, isn't it?”

“Yeah, it's true that I protected you from people who wanted to force you to be something that you're not!”

“But Dad, they probably would've understood it more over time if you would've given them the chance! You can't just cut people out of their family's lives because of a misunderstanding! My mum wanted to see me and you wouldn't let her!”

“At the end of the day, she still abandoned you, Oliver! Do you not understand that?! Someone could lock me in a cage and I'd saw off my own fucking limbs if that's what I had to do to escape to see you again!”

“But-”

“But she doesn't give a damn about you! They had ample opportunities to see you over the years and they didn't. I've been there since day one and now this bigot comes outta nowhere and you wanna just take her side!  That fucking hurts, Oli!”

“Dad, I...I don't know.”

“Clearly!”

Without another word, the boy released his father and grabbed his girlfriend's hand before storming into the flat.

David instantly regretted the entire altercation and quickly chased after the boy. “Oli, wait.”

Oliver stared at the floor as he spoke through gritted teeth in hopes that his tears wouldn't spill over. “Dad, I really think that things are a little tense right now, um,” he got out before his voice got caught on the lump in his throat. “We've never

...fought before…and I-I-” The boy shook his head before tightening his hold on his girlfriend's hand as he rushed towards the flat's exit.

“Whoa, where are you going?!” Pam shouted. “Why are you cryin- hey don't walk away when I'm talking to you!”

The boy would deal with his grandmother's wrath at another time but he couldn't get out of that house fast enough.

Ronis wanted to say some comforting words, but based on the Oliver's expression, she decided to remain quiet as he led her through the parking lot to the curb. When the combination of tears and the icy winds that made them freeze-dry to his cheeks became too much, the boy sank to the curb.

“Babe, get up, it's cold and don't have your coat. I don't want you to get sick.” Bordering on hysterical, the boy didn't care what happened to him but he didn't protest when Ronis grabbed his arm and used all her weight to pull him to his feet. “Let's go to my dorm. I'll make you cocoa stuffed with marshmallows.”

---

“David!” Pam shouted. “What's wrong with Oliver?!”

“We got into a misunderstanding,” he grumbled.

“Misunderstanding?” Jackie scoffed. “More like Oliver found out that Dad's been portraying me and Mum as the face of evil when really we've been trying to be in that kid's life since the beginning.”

“What?!” the woman shouting before slapping her son. “Why the fuck would you do that?!”

“I was only trying to protect him!”

Pam slapped the boy again. “Watch your motherfucking tone!” David accepted the blows allowing the physical pain to match the way he felt on the inside. “You motherfuckers are killing my buzz. Go find him and make it right!”

“Yes ma'am,” he mumbled weakly before making his way towards the exit.

The man made it to his car and immediately called his fiancee. When it went to voicemail, he called again. Then again.

Hi, you've reached Lisa, I'm sorry I missed your call. Feel free to leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible!

“Babe, please call me back,” David sniffled. “I just got into a fight with Oli and I just-” his voice hung on the lump in his throat. “I just really need your voice telling me it'll be okay right now. I love you,” he got out before breaking down completely.

---

“Sonique is spending the night at her parents house for Christmas so we have the place to ourselves,” Ronis said as she led her boyfriend into her dorm room. “Hell, I think the entire campus is empty right now but we'd never get away with cuddling at my house,” the girl giggled as she removed her coat. She turned to her boyfriend who had pressed his back against the door. The tears were long gone, but the boy  hadn't uttered a single word since they'd left his grandparents home. Ronis sighed as she dug through her drawer to find her favorite pug mug before heating water and making a mix of hot chocolate. She stuffed it to the brim with tiny marshmallows and walked it over to the boy. He accepted it but didn't take a sip. “You don't want it?”

“Um, yeah,” he said quietly. “Thanks.”

Hearing the boy's voice made her smile. “Sit, sit so that I can give you your gifts.”

Oliver took a deep breath and made his way to the girl's bed. He sat on the edge and took a  miniscule sip before Ronis handed him a small box.

“For me?” he asked dryly.

“Yeah I think you'll like it.”

The boy popped the lid of the box open to what he thought was a stapler.

“It's a pick punch,” Ronis chirped. “Like a hole punch but for things like old credit cards and stuff to make picks for your guitar.”

Oliver smiled without showing his teeth. “Thanks, babe. I love it.”

“Yayyy.”

He kissed the girl before she reached underneath the bed. “I have something else for you.” Ronis pulled the wrapped box from its hiding place and handed it to Oliver. “Open that and I'll be right back,” she said, doing her best to contain her excitement. The girl pushed herself off of the bed, grabbed a bag from the closet and quickly rushed into the bathroom.

The boy sighed and slowly ripped into the winter wonderland themed gift wrap to reveal a plain white box. Oliver undid the flap at one end of the box only to find it stuffed with a gift bag.

“What the hell,” he mumbled to himself. The boy pulled the red gift bag out of the box before yanking the white tissue paper off of the top, revealing the even smaller gift bag underneath. Oliver smiled as he shook his head and dumped the contents of the second bag onto the bed; a small wrapped box. “You're killing me!” he chuckled loud enough for the girl to hear.

“It's the build up to something amazinggggg,” Ronis replied.

“What are you up to, woman?”

“You'll see in a secondddd. Are you feeling any better?”

“Yeah... I just don't wanna think about it.”

“Well, I hope that this gift offers enough of a distraction,” she practically purred.

“I'm sure it will,” he said as he tore into the small wrapped box. It was a small plain white box. Oliver quickly snatched open one end only to find yet another wrapped package. “Ronis!”

“Whatttt?” she asked innocently.

“What is this?”

“Did you open it yet?”

“I'm trying but you have a million packages, boxes and bags!”

“Patience is virtue, my love.”

Oliver took a deep breath. When he ripped into the wrapping he'd lost count of and saw the plastic, the boy grinned. “Finally!” He tossed the paper over his shoulder before turning his attention to the casing in his hand, raising an eyebrow at the small pink device inside. “What the-” the boy said as he read the label. “Frisky Fingers Vibrating Sleeve…”

At that moment, his girlfriend emerged from the bathroom.

“Babe, what the hell is-” The boy's eyebrows shot up when he saw Ronis leaning against the door frame dressed in nothing but a sheer red negligee trimmed in white fur and cinched under the bust with a thin strap that resembled Santa Claus’s classic black belt. Her wild curls framed her face had been washed of all her holiday makeup, allowing the natural glow of her mocha skin to shine through.

“Ho, ho, ho,” she said seductively.

“Whoa,” was all Oliver could manage to say, eliciting a giggle from the girl as she sauntered towards him.

“You like it?”

“Like is a fucking understatement,” the boy exhaled. “But what the hell is this?” he asked as he held up the sex toy.

Ronis settled onto the spot next to him. “It's a vibrating finger cozy.”

“And you want me to...use this on you?”

“That was the plan,” she bashfully admitted.

“So this was literally just a gift for yourself,” Oliver said teasingly.

“No, I bought it for you...to use on me. I mean, it's not like you'd let me use it on you.”

The boy quickly changed the subject. “I really liked my pick punch. It'll come in handy if I ever lose a pick or if I wanna make a collection of picks made out of random materials. I really think a pick made out of titanium would be really cool, although-”

Ronis silenced him with her lips. “I'm sorry,” she whispered. “I didn't mean to make uncomfortable. I just want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”

“Seeing you feel good makes me happy. That's all I need.”

The girl smiled as she slid onto the boy's lap, straddling him before she wrapped her arms around his neck. Oliver gently cradled her ass in his hands as their lips connected.

“Grab it harder,” she demanded, prompting the boy to give her cheeks a firm squeeze as they continued to make out.

Oliver's hands eventually moved to girl's chest and he let out a low groan. “Your boobs are softer than Clair de Lune and Moonlight Sonata’s first movement put together.”

Ronis cackled. “I love it when you speak music to me.”

The boy laughed before he kissing her and rolling her onto her back against the cool teal satin sheets of her small bed.

“I don't want a lot for Christmasss,” Ronis sang in a low, sensual voice. “There's just one thing I needdd.”

Oliver smiled. “You're giving me goosebumps.”

“That's not all I'm gonna give you,” she growled as she pulled the boy down into a kiss.

“Herpes?” he mumbled against her lips.

“Fuck all the way off!” she laughed, giving his chest a shift shove while he laughed at his own joke.

“I'm kidding.”

“I don't forgive you.”

The boy raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really?” he asked, taking the statement as a personal challenge.

“Nope.”

Oliver kissed the spot on the girl's neck that he knew drove her crazy. “Do you forgive me now?”

“No,” she exhaled.

The boy moved to her chest, gently kissing each of her boobs. “What about now?”

“Nuh uh.”

He raised an eyebrow before he kissed her jawline while his left hand traveled to smooth, sheer red fabric of her panties. The boy allowed his fingers to slowly dance around her sensitive spot and he smiled as the girl wriggled beneath beneath him. “Do you forgive me now?”

“Yesss. Just fuck me,” she pleaded.

“Not so fastttt,” her boyfriend teased. “You stepped your game up tonight and I'll try to do the same.” Oliver walked his fingers up from between the girl's legs to the fur bow that was holding the negligee closed across the girl's chest. He slowly tugged at one end of the bow and each half of the fabric to fall to girl's sides, exposing her perfect supple breasts.

The boy placed his hands over each boob and gave them a gentle massage.

“Mmm, that feels nice,” she exhaled.

Oliver kissed each soft mound before kissing her lips, then jaw, then neck; moving further and further down, leaving a trail of kisses until he reached the top of her underwear. He hooked his fingers into the sides of the thong and waited for the girl to lift her hips, allowing him to pull the small piece of fabric down her smooth legs and off completely. The boy pretended to tuck them into his pocket.

“What the- oh my God you're such a dork,” his girlfriend giggled. “That's your real Christmas present.”

“The best gift ever,” he growled before kissing her ankles, then calves, then inner thighs as he made his way up to the tender spot between the girl's legs, stopping a few centimeters shy of her bundle of nerves.

Ronis let out a feeble groan as the yearning to be touched grew stronger and stronger.

“You okay?” the boy teasingly asked, knowing exactly what the source of her strain was.

“You're driving me insaneee.”

“Am I?” he asked innocently as he moved agonizingly slow, gently tracing the perimeter of her box with his fingertips.

“Fuck me, babe. Pleaseeee.”

Oliver flashed a devilish smirk and continued to tease the girl.

“You know what-” Ronis growled as she sat up and snatched the boy's vest off. She tossed it to the floor then swiftly ripped into his red dress shirt, sending buttons flying about the room in every direction.

“Hey, this is Egyptian cotton! “I'll buy you another,” she panted as she stripped him of the fabric, throwing it over her head prior to grabbing the boy's belt buckle. Ronis managed to undo the latch before Oliver grabbed her wrists and pinned her back onto the bed. Surprisingly, the boy didn't find himself upset that she'd attempted to get into his trousers, but more so that she was impatient and hijacked control of the situation. He frowned as he held her into place. “I'm only going to say this once,” he said in a low, commanding voice. “Patience is a motherfucking virtue, my love. Don't leave this bed again.” “Yes, sir,” she said innocently. “I've been a very naughty girl and I deserve to be punished.” “You do,” Oliver said as he bit his lip and daringly rustled the girl's hair with both hands. “Ugh!” Ronis snarled as she pounced on her boyfriend but he quickly overpowered her and pinned her again. “Something wrong?” the boy teased. “I'm gonna kick your ass.” “Ooo, so violent. That's kinda sexy though.” “Babeeee,” she whined as she wiggled against her restraints. “Whatttt?” “I'm horny as fuck and you're driving me crazy in the wrong way!” Oliver released one of her wrists and moved his grande to her boob, giving her nipple a small pinch. “The wrong way?” Stubborn as ever, the girl bit her lip as she nodded encouraging Oliver to take the other sensitive nub between his fingers; giving them gentle twists and pulls. “Mm, oh fuckkk.” “The wrong way?” the boy asked again. “No, that feels really gooddd.” Oliver's grin was smug as he kissed her. “But I need moreee.” He chuckled as he pushed himself off of the bed. “Where are you goingggg?” “Stop whining,” he ordered. Ronis pouted. “I touched your hair so I have to wash my hands before I proceed with anything else.” “Are you trying to say that my hair is nasty?” “Yes, Ronis,” he said sarcastically. “Your hair is a dirt motel with germs and lice living there.” She scowled. “Oh, you can fuck all the way off for that.” “You don't mean that.” “Yes, I do. You're an arsehole.” Oliver raised the sex toy that the girl had gifted him and displayed it with a cheesy smile as if he was in an infomercial. “Okay, okay,” she whimpered. “I didn't mean it.” “That's what I thought. Besides we came in from outside and got right to business, I needed to wash my hands anyway.” He entered the bathroom and opened the device before washing his hands. “Plus your hair smells like weed.” “Oh my God, ew! That’s not attractive! Why didn't you say something?” “It's oddly comforting,” he laughed as he emerged from the bathroom. “Okay, let's figure this thing out. It's not gonna chop my finger off or anything, right?” Ronis giggled. “No, you just slide it on your index finger and turn it on.” “Is this for the outside...or inside?” he asked barely above a whisper. “Both I suppose. But you've never penetrated me befo-” “Okay, okay,” the boy rushed to avoid the embarrassment. “Babe, we should be able to talk about our bodies to each other. Especially since you've seen every inch of mine.” His cheeks flushed bright crimson. “True.” “Would you prefer to say penetrate or finger?” “Oh, God,” he sighed. “Um, finger. No, penetrate- ugh-” “Let’s put it this way, bear Oli hasn't entered the Ronis cave yet.” The boy's skin could've been comparable to a barrel of hot coals. “That works…” “And I'm not opposed to bear Oli exploring said cave today.” “Will it hurt?” “Maybe. But we won't know unless we try.” The boy frowned. “Please, Oli. Just try.” He nodded and she quickly pulled him into a kiss. The couple made out for several minutes before Oliver moved to her neck then breasts gently kissing each one to show his appreciation. The boy then took his time making his way down the girl's stomach until he reached her waistline, he gave Ronis a smug look that made her giggle. “I love you,” she said softly. The boy replied by kissing her inner thigh, causing a shiver to trickle down her spine before gently touching the girl's love button. Ronis gasped at the contact and prepared herself to get used to the feeling of his fingers when the boy wrapped his mouth around her sensitive lady parts. “Oh my God,” the girl moaned as she arched her back. Oliver pressed his forearm over the her hips to hold the girl in place as he began to build up a rhythm as he worked his tongue on and around her love button. “Holy shit, babe, that feels amazinggggg. Ah!” she squealed when he started to do something new that she couldn't pinpoint. “Fuckkk, oh my God.” The boy pulled away. “Told you I'd try and step my game up,” he chuckled before returning his mouth to her aching mound. Ronis tangled her fingers into the boy's brown tresses as she continued to moan and before long she could feel the tingling brewing from the pit of her stomach. “Oli, I'm gonna come.” Oliver began to work with new vigor and soon after, his mouth was flooded with the sweet and tangy taste of his girlfriend's cum. The boy lapped up every drop before grinning. “Still just as good as candy.” “Dork,” she panted, still too lost in the ecstasy to respond further.

The boy grinned but soon his heart began to race. “Um, I guess I can try the...cave thing now.” “Okay,” Ronis said excitedly. Oliver gulped and gently pressed his index finger at the girl's small opening. He paused. “It's okay,” she assured. The boy slowly pushed his finger inside the girl and made a face at the hot, wet flesh that surrounded it. “What?” Ronis asked, quickly growing self conscious. “It feels like warm mush or lumpy pudding.” The girl gasped. “Thanks,” was her dry response. “Well not in a bad way! You know that slime putty that kids play with to make fart noises? It's like that but warm.” “That description makes me feel real sexy,” Ronis said, sarcasm evident.   He frowned. “Why are you upset?” “Because your descriptions suck!” “Well, have you felt it? It's kinda hard to pinpoint exactly what it feels like. Help me out here.” “I want my vagina to be described as crushed velvet, not lumpy pudding.” “Crushed velvet works! But ya know...moist.” Ronis rolled her eyes. “No matter how you describe it babe, it still feels awesome.” She sighed in exasperation. “Thank you, Oliver.”

“You're welcome,” he chirped before turning his attention back to the matter at hand by slowing pulling his finger out of the girl then gently pushing back in. He did this several more times prior to picking up the pace. Ronis exhaled. “That feels kinda nice.” “Just kinda?” “Yeah...like I feel the movement but it's not necessarily bringing me pleasure.” “So what should I do?” “Try curving your finger up, maybe you can find my G-spot.” “Your what?” “Oh my God, how are you so innocent?” she practically cooed. The boy blushed. “I have my finger in your vagina. I'm not innocent.” “If you say so, babe. But a G-spot is just like a sensitive bundle of nerves at the roof of the vagina I think. And if it's stimulated, the orgasms are said to be amazing.” “Okay,” the boy said simply as he processed the information. He curled his finger upward while he continued to slowly move it and out. Ronis' reaction was nearly instantaneous. “Ohhh,” she moaned lightly. Oliver sighed in relief and picked up the pace. “No, no. Go slowwww.” “Okay,” he said, slightly embarrassed. “It's like a deep tissue massage...you don't wanna rush that.” The boy cracked a smile. “Good to know.” He kept his strokes slow and sensual, growing more smug as he sat up and watched the girl's face as she deprived so much pleasure from his touch. When Ronis felt eyes on her, her lids flew open. “Whatttt?” she bashfully asked. “Nothingggg. My face is usually between your thighs. I just never get to see you from this angle.” The girl covered her face with her hands. “Stoppp, you're so beautiful.” “Then take a picture,” she joked. “Seriously?” he gasped as he clawed for his phone. Ronis cackled. “Nooo! Just imagine if that got in the wrong hands.” “Like mine,” he chuckled. “Knowing something like that is on my phone...I wouldn't be able to focus on anything else.” “You're silly.” “I'm in love.” A rosy hue took over her cheeks as Oliver leaned down to kiss her. The new angle of his hand allowed more pressure to be applied to the girl's sweet spot. “Oh my God,” she moaned out, wrapping her arms around his neck as she stared into his bright hazel eyes. It was the most intimate they'd ever been and Ronis felt like this was true love making. To avoid crying, she kissed him but it didn't stop her from tearing up. “I'm gonna come,” she whimpered against his lips. There was something in the girl's tone that tugged at Oliver's heart strings and as the muscles of her sugar walls tightened around his finger, he knew that this Christmas had been a milestone in their relationship and he wanted to do something special for her. “Fuck,” she panted weakly. “It doesn't look like it, but that was probably the most intense orgasm I've ever had.” “Really?” The girl nodded. “It was like a ray of heated unicorn sparkles brewed in the pit of my stomach and slowly spread throughout my either body.” “Wow, that sounds magically.” “It was,” Ronis exhaled before tenderly kissing him. “Do you want me to use frisky fingers now?” She shook her head. “Maybe next time. I just want you to hold me.” “Okay...um, do you think I can take a quick shower first?” “You don't have any clothes here.” “I know…” Ronis raised an eyebrow. “Of course…don’t take too long.” He pressed his lips against hers before pushing himself off of the bed and into the bathroom, locking the door as his heart raced at the thought of what he was about to do.

Despite the snowy winter weather, Oliver turned the shower nozzle to cold. The boy quickly disrobed and stepped into the path of the icy spray. He shivered at the initial contact but swiftly welcomed the chilly fall as it calmed his senses. “It’ll be okay,” he mumbled to himself. “Ronis loves you.” Oliver splashed his face one last time, turned off the water and exited the shower. After patting himself dry with a towel, he wrapped the fluffy cotton around his waist. The boy glanced at his pale reflection in the mirror and before the chagrin could set in, he made his way to the door. With a shaking hand, Oliver slowly turned the knob and exited the bathroom. His heart pounded against his chest as Ronis watched him through heavily lidded eyes. “Hi,” she said softly. The girl must've gotten cold while her boyfriend was away because she had pulled on his red dress shirt. Two sizes too big, the fabric draped over her breasts and thighs in that perfect way that guys liked when girls wore their clothing. Oliver swore that he'd go into cardiac arrest at any moment. “H-Hi,” he stammered. The girl seductively beckoned him over with her index finger. “Okay...but um, first. I have something to say.” Ronis sat up on her forearms. Oliver cleared his throat. “Um, since you always tease me about my songwriting skills, I wanted to say something really poetic but I'm just drawing a blank. So I'll just...do it,” he practically whimpered as his nerves began to overwhelm him. But the boy bravely dropped the towel, subjecting himself to the most vulnerable position he'd ever been in since informing the girl that he was transgender. Ronis’s eyes were wide and curious as she took in every inch of her lover's body. Although only a few seconds had gone by, it felt like an eternity to the boy. He fixed his mouth to say something but Ronis bet him to the punch. “You're perfect, Oliver David.” The words seemingly lifted the weight of the world off of the boy's shoulder as he relaxed for the first time since entering the bathroom. “Can I see your bum?” Ronis asked with sheer excitement underlining her tone. Oliver blushed. “I don't have one of those,” he sighed as he turned around. Although on the flat side of the spectrum, the boy's cheeks were still firm and desirable enough for any butf lover to grab on frisky nights.

“Babe, you have a great ass!”

Made even more bashfully by the compliments, the boy grabbed the towel and returned it to his waist. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

“Get your sexy self over here.”

The boy smiled as he made his way over to the bed. He climbed in next to the girl and wrapped his arms around her.

She kissed the back of his hand. “You know, there's an invention that's been out for a few centuries called a razor. I'm not sure if you've heard of it buttt,” she teased before the boy laughed.

“I'm only hairy on my face, pits and lower body, jerk.”

“I knowww. It's so hot…although, I'm going to convince you to shave your legs one day.”

The boy gasped. “Why?”

“Because I wanna see what it'd look likeeee.”

“How about you shave your head then? I wanna see what it'd look like.”

Ronis quickly pushed the boy away. “That's not even the same thing! Your leg hair would grow back in a week!”

“Probably,” the boy said with a shrug.

“So why would you even say something like that? The fact that you even uttered the words ‘shave my head’ is so asinine, just-”

The boy silenced her with a kiss and then she exploded in giggles when he boldly licked her cheek.

“Eww!”

“You want me to do it again?” he threatened.

“No!”

“Then calm your ass down.”

“Yes, Sir,” the girl said as she returned his arm around her. “Just tread lightly when you talk about my hair.”

“Pfft, don't tell me how to tread.”

Ronis found herself being turned on all over again as the boy continued to assert himself. “Yes, Sir...but ugh, don't lick my cheek again, pig.”

“Fine.”

The girl frowned. “You're not gonna...chastise me?”

“Nah. You've put up with enough tonight. I'm... I'm just happy that seeing me naked didn't make things like...uncomfortable between us.”

Ronis sat up. “Why would it make things uncomfortable?”

“You know…”

“No, I don't know. But if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then you need to snap out of it. Nothing physical about you could never deter me. You could get acne, you could turn green, you could grow a third eye...wait no, not-”

“Nope! You said it, you can't take it back,” he said be with a playful chuckle.

“Fineee. I'll even love you with a third eye.”

“Thank you, baby.” The boy pulled the girl into a kiss.

“You are such physical perfection...that if you'd let me... I'd fuck the shit out of you right now,” she whispered against his lips.

Oliver gulped as the blood began to flow throughout his entire body, warming particularly in his groin. “I-I-I-I need to shower.”

Ronis kept her hold on the boy's arms tight. “Babe, it's okay,” she cooed. “It's okay to feel things. I know it's strange but it's natural.”

“I’m not ready,” he whimpered.

“Oliver, I'm not pressing you to do anything, I just don't want you to ever feel disgusted in your own skin. Never. Okay?”

He nodded.

Ronis comforted him with a tender, loving kiss. “Alright, booger. Go have your shower.”

The boy quickly pushed himself off of the bed and entered the bathroom, pressing his back against the door as soon as it was closed. After turning on the shower, the boy took a deep breath and opened the door. “Um...do you wa-wanna j-join me?”

“Absofuckinglutely! But are you sure?”

“Do you really want to give me time to change my mind?” he chuckled.

“No!” Ronis squealed as she jumped off of the bed and into the boy's arms. “As long as I get to touch your ass while we're in there.”

“Sure...as long as it doesn't get weird.”

“I promise it won't. I'll just play them like bongos.”

The boy laughed. “We'll take this thing day by day.”

“Day by day,” she repeated before Oliver blindly walked them backwards into the bathroom while Ronis kicked the door shut, leaving them in the privacy of the steamy room to enjoy the remainder of their Christmas.

---

Jason sighed as he climbed into the back of the limo. “So where is this house?” he asked Lucian.

“Upstate.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah, the owner wants to meet you before he lets you rent it.”

“Ugh, why?”

“Maybe because he doesn't want some teenagers destroying his mansion.”

“It's not ‘some teenagers’. It'll just be Matt and I for two nights.”

“How romantic,” the man said dryly. “So what do you have planned anyway?”

He scoffed. “What do you think?”

Lucian rolled his eyes and stayed silent for the remainder of the ride.

“Oh my God, this looks like a fucking castle,” the brunette gasped as they pulled up the winding driveway to the massive estate.

“It kinda is. It has fifty bedrooms and seventy-two bathrooms.”

“What the fuck! That's insane.”

“Yeah, I'll let the owner tell you the rest if the details.”

“What? Why? I thought this was just a 'hi, nice to meet you. I won't destroy your house’ type of meeting?”

“Just come on,” the man groaned in exasperation as he climbed out of the limo. “And fix your hair.”

Jason rolled his eyes and followed Lucian’s lead, quickly hopping out of the vehicle to rush through the frigid air.

“Come on in,” a vaguely familiar voice offered.

The brunette looked up and met the brown eyes of Mark Diller. Stunned, confused and speechless, the boy had no idea what to think.

“Hi, Jason! You seem a little shocked.”

“Um…yeah. I didn't realize that this was your home.”

“Oh, yes, this is one of my childhood homes actually. So take really good care of it,” he said light heartedly.

“Well, I'm not really sure if I'd be comfortable staying here…”

Mark frowned. “How come?”

“You proposed to me,” he reminded. “And I'm looking for a house to celebrate my anniversary...a little awkward, ain't it?”

Lucian quickly intervened. “What he means is that he can't fully make a decision until he sees the entire estate.”

“Um, no,” the boy hissed. “I meant what I said.”

“And so did I,” Mark replied. “My offer still stands. But in the meantime, if you like the house then I can definitely be professional.” The man extended his arm. “May you do me the honor?”

Jason thought for a minute before sighing. “Well, it is an exquisite home...and pretty much exactly what I'm looking for.” He reluctantly wrapped his arm around the man's before Mark began to lead him through the foyer and down a long corridor. When they passed a large Versailles style mirror, Jason regretted not fixing his hair when his manager had told him to. He self consciously smoothed the wild waves.

Mark smiled. “So, the house, or chateau if you will, was built in 1919 and it was originally a hotel exclusively for the rich and famous. But my great great grandfather bought it and turned it into a single family home. Summers here were always amazing and I hope you and Matt have just as much fun as I did.”

Jason paused. “I'm sorry, I just can't do it. This is way too weird. Besides your house is probably way out of my budget.”

“Lucian didn't tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“I'm letting you stay here for free, of course.”

“But... I- why?”

“I could never make you pay for anything, let only what my family typically charges to rent this place out.”

“Oh...um-”

“I mean, you could still say no and find some place that's the same price and half the size with owners not even half as friendly or cute as me,” he chuckled.

“That's true,” he sighed.

Mark grinned.

“I meant the pricing and size thing, not the cute and friendly thing. Well, no, it's not that you aren't friendly- I, ugh.”

The man laughed. “Well, the house is yours if you want it.”

Jason pursed his lips as he weighed his options.

“There's a theater, four pools: two inside, two outside. There's a race track, stables and a helicopter pad with a pilot on speed dial to take you on tours of the cityyy.”

The corners of the brunette's mouth curled upwards but he fought it.

“Staff will wait on you hand in foottttt,” Mark added.

“Mark, I-”

“There's also the music room.”

“Music room?” he asked, curiosity obviously peaked.

“Allow me to show you.”

Jason obliged as he followed the man to the nearest elevator. He sequestered himself in one corner of the lift while Mark occupied the other. To avoid the awkwardness, the man spoke.

“So how have the fan interactions been on your tour thus far?”

“Pretty interesting. Although, nothing has topped a marriage proposal,” he chuckled.

Mark laughed. “So how did Matt take that? I hope you didn't get into trouble.”

“He doesn't know.”

“Whatttttt, I thought-”

“Well, it wasn't something I thought was a big deal.”

“Hmm I was the most interesting fan interaction and yet you didn't tell him?”

The brunette scowled. “What I do and don't do with my boyfriend is none of your business.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckled.

Jason huffed out a stiff exhale.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.”

“I'm not upset,” he snapped back before sighing. “I just don't like being grilled about stuff, ya know? Especially when it pertains to Matt who does have his issues, but I deal with it because I love him.”

Mark pursed his lips.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he chirped just as the elevator doors slid open.

Jason rolled his eyes and followed him down another corridor, admiring each ornate detail carved into the crown molding and wainscoting along with every expensive piece of art.

“The music room is this door coming up on the right. I'll let you do the honors.”

The brunette excitedly opened turned the knob and his eyes honed right in on the massive piano in the corner. “Oh my God,” he gasped as he rushed over. “This is a Steinway & Sons Rococo Model D Victorian Grand! What year? 1880?”

“1871,” Mark informed as he approached. “With carved Brazilian rosewood.”

“She's beautiful. I never thought I'd ever seen one in person,” the boy exhaled, hands hovering over keys. “May I?”

“It may be out of tune. But I'd be honored to have Jason Dardo play the piano in my house.”

The boy eagerly sat at the leather stool before his fingers danced across the antique keys producing a rich yet hollow sound. “Yeah, she could definitely use a tuning but, ugh, you almost want to leave it like that because she's seen so much and you just have to respect it.”

Mark smiled admiringly. “The way you speak about the piano, like it's a person, is so eloquent.”

He blushed. “I just love this instrument so much.”

“May I?” he asked as he gestured towards the spot next to the boy.

“Sure.” Mark sat down and moved his fingers across the piano in a lighting fast flourish that made Jason's jaw dropped. “I didn't know you could play. And really well at that.”

“Of course not. You don't know me,” he said as he slowed the melody down to a soft sensuous number. “And you didn't never called to get to know me.”

“No I didn't,” Jason admitted. “But your Wikipedia said that your hobbies included 'attempting’ to play the piano.”

Mark grinned. “You looked up my Wiki?”

“No, no,” he said defensively. “Lucian did.”

“Hmm,” the man hummed before singing one of boy's hit singles in a pitch perfect voice that shocked Jason even more. “If I could turn back the hands of time, oh you ,my darling, would've always been mine,” he sang, tweaking the words to match how he felt. “You'd never have to be scared or cryyy. You'd never have to scream or wonder why, if I could turn back the hands of time.”

Jason was immensely moved by the rendition that he barely noticed when the man began to lean in. And when he realized, the mesmerized boy closed his eyes as he felt Mark's slow breathing against his lips.

“Strictly professional,” the man whispered before quickly pushing himself off of the stool. “Like I said earlier, if you want the house for the weekend, it's your. I just...I just can't do this,” he rushed with a lump in his throat before exiting the room.  

Extremely embarrassed, Jason took a deep breath and shook off the tense interaction before pushing him off of the stool and out of exit. He retraced his steps down the corridor and up the elevator until he found Lucian in the living room. “Yo, what the fuck did you do to Mark?”

“Nothing,” he said, questioning in his tone. “Wh-What did he, um, what did he say?”

“He gave me the keys and said that he was going to catch a flight to Barcelona because it's warm there. But he looked a little upset so I asked him what was wrong and he said that he didn't want to be the source of your regrets.”

“Oh,” Jason said quietly.

“What does that meannn?” Lucian pressed.

“Nothing,” he snapped. “Let's get this house ready for tomorrow. I need a ride arranged for Matt, chocolate covered strawberries, alcohol free champagne and like ten thousand roses. Go to every florist in New York if you have to.”

“News flash, I manage your career. I'm not your assistant.”

“Then hire me an assistant and get this shit done!”

Lucian smirked. “Aww, poor baby. Are you sexually frustrated? Displacing your tension with Mark onto me. Classic.”

The boy scowled. “I don't have tension with Mark.”

“Well after he turned down my advances, I truly began to see the undeniable chemistry between you two. It's kinda hot to watch.”

“You're disgusting,” the boy said as he stormed out of the house.

“I know that!” Lucian chuckled. “I'll get right on making this place a sex dungeon for you!”

---

Despite being the disaster that happened the last time she'd seen her son, Lisa was extremely excited to see Matt that Christmas for dinner. The duo was joined by Josh, Lace and even one year old Anais.

“Her being here doesn't make you uncomfortable, does it, Mom?” Josh asked. “As I was leaving Dad's, she didn't want me to put her down so I just brought her along.”

“Oh, no it's fine,” Lisa assured. “She's a innocent little angel.”

“Angel,” the toddler repeated.

“Yes! You areee,” Matt cooed as he fed his sister more peas.

“So, I wanted to talk to you guys about something,” the matriarch began. “David and I being engaged.”

Matt acted like he didn't hear the statement as he continued to coddle and feed the girl.

“What about it, Mom?” Josh asked.

“What do you think? Am I rushing-”

“Yes,” her younger son quietly interjected. “You got divorced two seconds ago and now you want to subject yourself to all of that vulnerability again? I just don't get it.”

“But David and I have a connection. If you know you want to be with someone for the rest of your life, why wait? Especially at my age.”

“Especially at your age, you should know better,” he retorted.

The woman frowned.

“All I'm saying is think about it,” the boy said, tone uncharacteristically understanding. “You wouldn't be asking us if we think it's too soon if you didn't have concerns of your own.”

Lisa's expression slowly morphed into defeat. “Yeah... I do.”

“Like what, Mom?” Josh asked.

“A few things. I have no idea where we'll live, he has his practice in London and I have my office here and we haven't discussed it, but I'm not sure if either of us is ready to move across the world.”

“But can't you open a office in London or vice versa?” her son continued. “I just think that if you don't have small kids in the house and you're so in love, distance isn't a problem.” His wife gave him a gentle nudge in the side and they shared a kiss.

“But she hasn't even known this guy that long,” Matt retorted. “What if you move and discover that you hate it there? Or his family is crazy as fuck.”

“Matty, don't say fuck at the table.”

“Sorry, but it's true.”

“But if that's what Mom wants to do, even if it all fails, we'll be there for her because we're her kids Matt,” Josh said. “We don't agree with some things you do but we support you because we love you.”

“I guess,” the boy mumbled.

“Although, I'd prefer if you got David to move here. I don't think I can live without your beef wellington Wednesdays.”

“I've gotten all of his favorite meals mastered  except for that one!” Lace exclaimed. “It's so difficult. You just have to to share your secret with me.”

Lisa giggled. “Well according to Josh, if I tell you my secret, I won't be useful anymore.”

“Mom, that's not true. We'll need you for a lot of things.”

“Like?” the woman pressed.

“Cooking...telling us how great we are...um,-”

“We'd really miss you,” Lace added.

“Thank you, Lace,” the woman said, clearly unconvinced.

“How about we open presents?” Josh asked in attempt to ease the awkwardness.

“Yes!” Matt cheered as he grabbed his little sister. “I got the coolest stuff for you Anais.”

He rushed to the living room followed by the other three adults.

“Did you miss being on the Christmas card this year?” Josh asked his mother.

“The Christmas card thing is a Lent tradition. I'm no longer a Lent, therefore, no. Besides, I think it's such a lame thing to do. 'Oh let's all put on goofy sweaters to take pictures to send to everyone, meh’,” she mocked.

Matt cackled. “That's amazing.”

“Yeah we just weren't feeling it without you being included,” Josh admitted.

“Well that's sweet of you but because I'm no longer associated, doesn't mean you need to cut that side of your family out.”

“We won't,” he assured.

The group quickly went through the gifts underneath the tree, sharing 'thank yous’ and hugs until Josh grabbed the last box from underneath the tree and handed it to Lisa.

“Aw, what's this?”

“Just open ittttt.”

The woman obliged, lifted the lid and began to read the card inside. “Thank you for always being there for us, we'll always support each other. We need your help now more than ever because you're about to be a grandmother!” she read, barely getting through the last line without bursting into tears. “A grandmother!” the woman wept as she threw her arms around the couple.

“Yeahhhh, I totally almost ruined the surprise at the table,” the man chuckled. “We'll need your help with everything.”

“I don't know how to change a diaper,” Lace whimpered in embarrassment.

“Oh, sweetheart, you'll learn! I'll teach you everything I know. Oh my God, I'm going to be a grandmother!”

“I'm going to be an uncle,” Matt pondered. “Cool.”

“How far along are you? Do we know the gender yet? Can I be in the room when you deliver? Oh! The nursery! What color scheme-”

“Mom, mom, you have to give us time to answer the question before you ask another,” Josh chuckled.

“Sorry, sweetheart! I'm just sooooo excited.”

“I’m 13 weeks. We don't know the gender yet but we'll find out soon. I'm not sure if you'd want to be in the room when I deliver, my bum isn't the prettiest sight and the nursery, well, I was hoping that you'd help me fix it up. I know nothing about interior design.”

Lisa squealed. “Yes! Do you want to wait before or after you find out the gender? You know, we can always go gender neutral.”

“I'd like that,” Lace sighed.

“Babe, sit d-”

“Yes, Lace sit down and rest,” Lisa rushed as she lead the girl to the couch. “There's no such thing as too much rest for a pregnant woman.”

Lace shot her husband a wide eyed look but Josh smiled, assuring her that it was okay.

“Mom, your phone's ringing,” Matt announced.

“Oh, it's probably just David. I'll call him back later,” she said dismissively as she sat next to her daughter-in-law. “So have you thought of any names? What hospital will you be delivering at?”

Matt shook his head as he approached his brother. “Are you really going to let her hijack your wife's womb?”

Josh laughed. “I think all grandmothers do.”

“I guess. Congrats, bro.” They shared a hug before Matt checked his watch. “Jason should be here any minute.”

“Oh, yeah. Have fun. Happy anniversary.”

No less than five minutes later, there was a loud horn that sounded from outside.

“So is Jason too big of a star to come in and say hello now?”

“Mom, just stop,” Matt sighed as he opened the door. Instead of his boyfriend's Honda, there was a sleek white Rolls Royce waiting in the driveway. A massive grin spread across the boy's face until a stranger climbed out of driver's side.

“You Matt?”

“Yeah.”

“I was sent to take you…” he checked his script, “‘on a night of magical events that you'll never forget’,” he recited dryly before opening the door to the back seat.

The boy cleared his throat and made his way to the vehicle, thanking the man as he climbed inside.

Matt rubbed the smooth leather seats that he would've appreciated much more had Jason been there with him. “So where are we going?”

The man checked his script. “'To a magical place...far...far...away’.”

“Nice…” the boy sighed as he pulled out his phone to send his boyfriend a message.

Matt: What are you up to?

Jason: I can't wait to see you ;)

Matt: Babeee

Jason: ❤

Matt tucked his phone into his pocket and subjected his attention out of the window. Watching the snow covered evergreens pass by over the next twenty minutes as his medicine kicked in made the boy drowsy. After they pulled up the winding driveway of the Diller mansion, the man opened Matt's door, offer him a helping hand so that he could exit with ease.

“Holy fucking shit,” Matt drawled as he approached the house, leaving the driver to mumble about how he was cheap for not tipping. The man quickly sped off before he had to recite another cheesy line from the script Jason had prepared for him.

Matt rang the doorbell to the estate and he was greeted by Jason's voice. “Come on in, daddy. And follow the rose petals,” he said seductively.

The boy turned the antique doorknob, entered the mansion and was instantly greeted by the aroma of fresh rose petals emanating from the bright red path that led as far as his eyes could see. The petals were lined with gold candelabras varying in heights that offered a soft, luminous glow which reflected off of any glass or metallic surface, turning the luxurious mansion into a palace of romance. Matt did as Jason was told, following the petals until he reached the foot of the large curving staircase where he saw the sparkling blue gift box with his name on the tag. He picked it up and opened it.

“Wow, a rolex.” The boy immediately slid the expensive accessory onto his wrist before continuing his journey up the stairs when he came across yet another present. Yawning as he opened it, Matt chuckled when he saw the riding crop, ball gag and handcuffs. He entered the corridor and had to admit that the large, empty mansion was slightly eerie but he made his way atop the petals until they ended at a door towards the end of the hall.

Matt opened the door and the sight of his nude boyfriend covered in rose petals and illuminated by soft candlelight was heavenly.

“Happy anniversary,” Jason said softly.

“Happy anniversary,” the boy chuckled in disbelief. “This is incredible.”

“I'm glad you like it because it's all for you.”

Matt grinned.

“Get over here.”

The boy approached, placed his stuff on the nightstand and after kicking off his shoes, climbed into bed with the brunette. “So whose house is this? I know you wouldn't buy anything like this without telling me.”

“That's not important,” Jason said as he straddled him. “The important thing is making this a magical night to remember.”

“I swear if I hear the word 'magical’ again, I'll die,” he chuckled.

Jason's face fell a little. “Well, I just want everything to be special.”

“It is, babe. You look incredible.”

“Thank you, baby,” the brunette said before kissing him so passionately that he became even more turned on by the smooth texture of his Matt's mouth. “I have something for you,” he whispered against his lips.

“Jason, I don't need anything else. This Rolex is just incredible.”

“You like it? It has black diamonds.”

“It's fucking amazing. And speaking of bling,” he said as he dug into his pocket and pulled out the gold band with three small diamonds set into it. “Give me your hand.”

“Matt..” Jason sighed, slightly uncomfortable with the situation.

“You don't want it?”

“Of course I do. It's beautiful...but I'm just not ready for what comes with it.”

“Well, it's a promise ring. I just want you to let you know that I'm doing my best to stay good and I want us to continue working on us. I love you and I wanna be with you. Forever.”

“Forever is definitely a goal I can work towards,” he giggled.

“Then give me your hand, dork.”

Jason held out his right hand and Matt slid the gold onto the boy's ring finger.

“It's so beautiful.”

“Yeah? I did good?”

“You did amazing, baby. I love it.”

“Good,” he said, stifling a yawn. “It'll only cost me ninety-nine bucks per month until it's paid off.”

“Aww, babe, how much is it?”

“None of your business.”

“But I don't want you wasting your money that could be going to your school stuff for on a ring for me.”

Matt shrugged. “That's my choice.”

“Babe, how much? Let's just pay it off now.”

“I don't have the money to pay it off now and I refuse to let you pay for your own gift. That's ridiculous.”

Jason sighed. “I'll get the information eventually and-”

“Babe, I really don't have the energy for this,” he yawned as he slid the boy off of his lap.

“No, no, no please,” the brunette whimpered, wrapping his arms around the boy's neck. “I'm sorry.”

Matt cracked a soft smile.

“I love you so much,” Jason said before pulling him into a steamy make out, unbuttoning the boy's shirt while his tongue fought for dominance. “You've been a very naughty boy this year. But inside of a lump of coal, I have something else for you.” He popped the remainder of the buttons open and went right to the boy's trousers, quickly undoing the belt and tugging at the hem. Matt lifted his hips to make for a seamless removal.

Jason bit his bottom lip in anticipation only to have his face fall when the usually ready boy was still soft. He sighed, gently took the member into his hand and began to stroke.

Matt closed his eyes as his head fell back onto the pillow. With the brunette's touch, the boy became hard within seconds.

Jason grinned. “So you just needed a jumpstart,” he whispered before kissing the tip of his boyfriend's dick. Matt shuddered at the pleasure and relaxed into the bed as his boyfriend worked his mouth along him.

“That feels amazing, baby,” he mumbled.

The brunette pulled out all of his best tricks, taking the cock completely into his mouth and getting as much as he could pass the threshold of his throat before adding a hand to massage the base while his teeth gently grazed the shaft which added an entirely new sensation. This was usually a surefire way to get Matt moaning and groaning, but when the boy remained silent, Jason continued to stroke him as he pulled his mouth away. “Babe?” When Matt responded with a light snore, Jason scowled. “Matt!”

“Hmm?”

“I'm giving you a fucking amazing blowjob and you fall asleep?!”

“I'm not asleep,” the boy slurred. “I was just resting my eyes. It feels so good, baby,” he exhaled before snoring again.

“Matttttt,” the boy whined as he shook him.

“What?” he snapped.

“Wake up!”

“I'm up!”

“No you aren'tttt. It's our anniversary and I wanna fuck.”

Matt groaned as he stretched and kissed the boy before pulling the boy on top of him. Jason quickly grabbed the condom and chocolate flavored lube that he'd tucked underneath the pillow, ripped it open and slid it onto his boyfriend's dick. The brunette cracked half a smile as he placed his hands on Jason's waist, helping the boy balance as he slathered his cock with the sweet lube before lowering himself.

Jason's breathing was labored and he winced as he adjusted to the invasion.

“Told you I was up,” Matt chuckled weakly.

“You weren't at first, asshole,” the brunette groaned as he began to rock his hips.

“I wassss,” he sighed as his eyes rolled back in pleasure.

Jason lifted himself up and then back down, repeating the motion as he worked up a rhythm. “Fuck,” he moaned. The boy was able to get about five minutes of pleasure before Matt's hands fell from his waist to the bed and the familiar snore sounded. “Matt!”

“Hm?”

“Wake up!”

The boy nodded but didn't open his eyes, forcing Jason to think of the ethical code that came along with fucking someone in their sleep. Matt would've wanted me to get off, he thought as he picked up the pace. But it's not as fun without him enjoying it too. Well, it's only fair. I put all this shit together for him. The boy didn't have to debate much longer as he felt Matt's cock soften inside of him.

“Ughhhh,” the brunette whimpered. He slapped the boy across the chest.

“The fuck,” Matt groaned.

“I hate you,” Jason sniffled as he dismounted the boy.

He mumbled something unintelligible as he turned on his side. Self confidence virtually demolished, Jason wiped his eyes from their brewing tears and grabbed his robe from the floor. He snatched the promise ring from his finger and threw it across the room before exiting the chamber of romance altogether.

The boy made his way back down the corridor and blew out all the candles just as the estate's phone began to ring. Unsure if he should answer, he cleared his throat and did so anyway.

“Hello?” he answered, voice more shaky than he anticipated.

“Jason? It's Mark. I'm not sure if they told you, but you don't have to worry about any of the alarms. I have my guys at the north and south security gates so just lock the front door and you'll be fine. If you need them just dial nine on any of the phones.”

“Okay..thank you.”

“Are you okay?”

“Um, yeah. Just, um, a little tired.”

“Oh, shit I'm so sorry for interrupting. Merry Christmas,” he rushed before hanging up.

“No wait- ugh,” the boy sighed as he returned the phone to the receiver.

Jason made his way to the first bedroom that he found, a sophisticated cream and mahogany themed room that offered the calming effect he so desperately needed. He flopped onto the bed and immediately melted into the cloud like mattress. Still semi hard, the boy exhaled as he removed his robe and wrapped his hand around cock. Filling his mind with what he had hoped his anniversary night would've been like, Jason began to stroke himself as he imagined his boyfriend's mouth around him; clear blue eyes looking up into his.

“Matt,” he panted softly before picking up the pace. The boy's strokes matched the timing of the dick he pictured slamming in and out of his ass. “Fuckkk,” Jason moaned right before coming, sending his hot cum onto his stomach and down his hand. He revelled in the orgasmic feeling for a few minutes prior to entering the ensuite to shower.

Afterwards he returned to his bed and began to scroll through Instagram. He liked a few of Oliver's music quotes and a picture of the boy dressed as the Easter bunny on Ronis’s page.

@roniselizabeth You guys are so dumb lol, he commented before intense curiosity suddenly struck him. The boy scrolled to the search bar and typed: Mark Diller.

Jason clicked on the man's account and as he swiped through, he quickly came across a picture of himself with the caption: Can't wait to meet this amazing artist! @jasondardo

“He tagged me?” the boy asked himself before remembering that his notifications were turned off due to the high volume of likes and comments he received. Jason liked the photo and continued to scroll through the man's page. Despite being a billionaire, there was nothing overly flashy about his current home, the clothes he wore or the cars he drove. The thing that did catch the brunette’s eye was the fact that the man was a thrill seeker who traveled to the far corners of the world in search of crazy and unique things to do. A photo posted just days earlier depicted the man bungee jumping at the Grand Canyon. “Oh God, I'd neverrrr.” And when he came across the man's underwater selfie with a shark. The boy was quick to comment: @markdiller you're insane!

The man's reply was swift. @jasondardo you call it insane, I call it living life to the fullest

@markdiller well at the way you put your life at risk, I'd hope so

@jasondardo yeah. I think the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled was proposing to someone who I knew would say no

The brunette sighed in exasperation.

@markdiller foolish, yes. Dangerous? No.

Jason anxiously waited for a response but when the small notification popped up, he clicked on it on to realize that it was Ronis replying to him.

@jasondardo takes a dummy to know one :P

The boy did his best to convince himself that he wasn't disappointed as he returned to Mark's page. He noticed that the man had posted something new only minutes ago; a photo of the empty space on the bed next to him captioned: I wish you were here so that I could tell you how I really feel

Jason had no idea what to think but he was extremely grateful when he saw Ronis’s number flash across his screen.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Hi, my love! Merry Christmas/Anniversaryyyy!”

“Thank you, Ro Roooo. Merry Christmas to you too.”

“I debated calling because I knew you'd be like knee deep in ass,” she giggled.

“Oh my God, I wish! Matt fell asleep and I had to jerk off just to stay sane,” he admitted to his best friend without embarrassment.

“Oh nooo.”

“Yeah, I had this house all set up with candles and roses and then he comes in, gives me a promise ring, I go down on him and he falls asleep. And he's like 'what?! Nooo I'm just resting my eyesss’,” Jason mocked in a lazy drawl.

Ronis cackled. “He did not!”

“He did! So I'm like fuck it, I need to get off before he falls asleep again. I start riding him and he starts snoring again and believe it or not, I kept going.”

The girl gasped. “How does that even work?”

“Well it didn't for long because he went soft after a few minutes. I was so pissed that I threw that stupid promise ring across the room and just left him there.”

“Aww, come on JJ don't be like that. Matt loves you.”

“If he loves me so much then why am I having to masterbate on my anniversary? Ugh, I wanted to slap him.”

The girl laughed.

“You're so evillll. It's not funny,” he said, chuckling himself. “Probably because you already got some tonight.”

“I did,” Ronis admitted, trying not to sound braggy.

“How was it?”

“Jason!” the girl gasped. “It's so unlike you to want to talk about sex.”

“I couldn't give two shits right now. I'm so horny!”

“I love it! Okay so Oli’s in the shower so I have to make it quick because he's too bashful to talk about sex but I saw him naked for the first time today and O-M-G his body is amazing. He has a perfect ass and I probably shouldn't even be telling you about my man while you're horny but I'll let it slide this time because he's just so perfect.”

“Okay, okay. Speaking of guys with nice bodies, you know how I told you about that billionaire guy?”

“Yes! How could I forget?!”

“I know right. But yeah, I go to rent out this house and he's the owner!”

“Oh my God, crazyyy. That's a sign, JJ.”

“A sign of what?”

“A sign of something that needs to chill the fuck out because I ship you and Matt.”

The boy laughed. “Fair enough. But he's really nice and he knows music!”

“Oh God,” Ronis groaned. “That's the fastest way into your panties.”

“Is not! Well…”

“JJ,” she said sternly. “What did you do?”

“I didn't do anythingggg but I may or may not have leaned in for a kiss as he played the piano.”

“Did you kiss?!’

“Nooo. Like you could tell he wanted to but I guess he has amazing self control and left quickly thereafter.”

“Good!”

“Well yeah. It would've been a mistake but, like I said, he's really nice and is staying here for free.”

“Okay, the house is free but what do you think he'll want in return? Ass?”

“Honestly, if he wanted ass he could have it right now.”

“Oh my God, shut upppp. You don't mean that.”

“My mouth doesn't but my hole does.”

Ronis cackled. “You're terrible! No, but you're just really cranky cause I know how much tonight meant to you and how much planning went into it. So it's okay to be pissed but don't do anything that you'll regret, okay?”

The boy sighed. “I won't. I'll probably just watch some teacher student porn and call it a night.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Alright. I love youuuu.”

“I love you more, JJ.”

“Not even,” he chuckled. “Bye.”

Just to tease, the boy went to Mark's page, took a screenshot of one of the man's shirtless photos and sent it to Ronis.

Ronis: Noooo! Well... I mean...maybe- No! Just no!

Jason cackled and then sighed. He watched the first porn video he could find and went for rounds two and three before passing out.

---

The next morning, Matt awoke with an extremely dry mouth, something that he'd gotten used to as a side effect of his medicine. The boy stretched and winced at the long scrape on his chest that was tugged when he moved. “How did that get there?” he rasped before simply shrugging. He sat up to retrieve his trousers. “Jason?” the boy called as he pulled on his pants. When there was no answer, Matt walked towards the exit of the room. On his way out, a glint of something shiny caught his attention. The boy knelt down to pick it up and discovered his promise ring was now missing one of its diamonds. “What the fuck,” he gasped.

Matt clutched the gold band in his hand and quickly stormed out of the room. “Jason!” he shouted, retracing his steps down the path of roses to the living area and then kitchen where he smelled bacon emanating from it. He found the boy seated at a breakfast nook, eating fresh fruit as he scrolled through his phone while a man dressed in full chef attire worked diligently at the stove. “Good morning,” Matt said to the man.

“Bonjour,” he chirped.

The boy made his way next to Jason and without a word placed the promise ring on the table. Before either could say anything, the chef handed Matt a menu.

“Oh, um, mercy.”

“It's merci,” Jason corrected under his breath.

“No, it's why did I find this ring on the floor and missing a diamond?” he asked through gritted teeth, doing his best not to raise his voice.

The brunette looked up from his phone. “I didn't know that a diamond popped out.”

“Popped out? What the hell did you do to it?”

“I threw it across the room,” he calmly admitted.

Matt felt as if someone had spat in his face. “Why?”

“Because I was pissed. I set up this either nice scenery and you fell asleep during sex. Like, I really felt like shit, Matt.”

“Well, I'll admit to being fucking exhausted but I can't help it. My meds make me drowsy.”

At that moment it all clicked for the brunette. He hadn't been around a steadily medicated Matt and the drug's effects were completely unknown to him.

“I mean, I'm trying my best here,” the boy continued. “I mean I could ask my doctor for a lesser dose b-”

He was silenced by Jason's lips against his. “I'm sorry. I totally forgot about your meds and the libido thing... I've unknowingly been an bratty asshole and I'm really sorry.”

“It's okay, babe. So...you destroy things when you don't get sex?” he asked, suppressing his chuckle.

Jason turned bright red. “Well, I get upsetttt. I mean it's becoming a grave need of mine. Almost like an addiction. And if I don't get it, I get hostile,” he bashfully admitted.

“That's so fucking hot.”

The brunette turned even more crimson before Matt kissed him. “Don't worry... I'll make every...thrust... up to you,” he whispered against his lips.

“Promise?” Jason exhaled.

The boy nodded.

He bit his bottom lip in anticipation. “And I promise to get my ring fixed. I'll go crawl on my hands and knees around that room to find the missing diamond.”

“Crawl on your hands and knees and you'll definitely find more than a diamond,” the boy joked.

“Show and tell?” the brunette giggled.

The couple shared a kiss before the chef approached. “Avez-vous choisi?” he asked as he gestured towards the menu.

“Umm,” Matt hummed as he quickly flipped through the booklet. “Strawberry crepes.”

“Crepes?”

“Sí.”

“Babe, it's ‘oui’,” Jason giggled. “'Sí’ is Spanish.”

“My badddd. What'd you order?”

“An omelette. Although I didn't see the crepessss.”

“We can share.”

The brunette raised an eyebrow. “So, what's yours is mine?”

“Mhm and what's yours is also yours.”

“Pfft, you know if I make it, you make it, babe. If you ever need or want anything, it's yours.”

“Nah, I'm fine. Working at the bookstore is enough for me.But I do love seeing how far you've come and I'm so proud of your success. From eating in the back of the lunchroom together to eating crepes in a goddamn mansion.”

“From being chased by bullies with fists to being chased by bullies with cameras,” he giggled.

“Right! This past year has really been something...and you deserve every minute of it the love and success.”

“Thank you, baby.”

They kissed and soon after, they received their food. As they ate and shared samples, Matt finally noticed how often the boy's phone was buzzing. “Is that work?”

“Um, no, it's the owner of the house.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. He's just checking in and making sure the staff is okay and stuff.”

“And it takes more than like two messages to accomplish that? Do you know them.”

“I do actually. We met at one of my fan meet and greets and um, he was really nice,” he informed, omitting the fact that the man was open about his crush on him and his distaste for Matt. “And Lucian told me later on that his name was Mark Diller.”

“The CEO guy?”

Jason raised an eyebrow. “How'd you know?”

“We talked about his grandfather a little in marketing. How he came to America with like eighty dollars and a dream that he turned into a multi billion dollar company. I googled a little and saw their wikis awhile back. It's crazy that you know him, they're beyond loaded.”

The boy chuckled. “That's one way to put it. He actually let us stay at this place free of charge.”

“Holy shit, that was generous.”

“Yeah, he said that he just couldn't make Jason Dardo pay.”

“Aw, look at you being influential.”

“Mhm. So, he's just a rich guy who's a big fan so I'm trying to be nice.”

“Nothing wrong with that. You have to be nice to the fans. I mean, as long as they don't cross any lines, I'm cool. That guy who changed his name to Matt was fucking crazy though. If I ever see him out and about, I'm going to beat the shit out of him.”

“Matt,” the brunette went to protest but he grabbed the boy's wrist and began to examine the fading, yellow remains of the bruise the man had left.

“Too far. You are not to be touched. Your security really fucked up. The second he started to act weird, they should've gotten him out of there.”

“Well it was the first time, baby. We learned a lot since.”

“I think they all need to be fired. I could do their goddamn job myself.”

Jason smiled at the boy's protective rant. “You probably could but I'd rather you not be in harm's way like that.”

Matt scoffed. “But it's okay for you to be?”

“Yes because this is the career path I've chosen and I knew it'd be a little crazy.”

The boy groaned. “I knew I'd have to share you with the world eventually, but can I cover you in bubble wrap first?”

Jason giggled and kissed the boy just as his phone went off again. When he saw the message, his face instantly lit up.

“Is that guy still talking about the house because the way you're smiling, like someone told you that you just won the lottery, is-”

“This is Ronis,” the boy said defensively.

“Oh... sorry.”

The brunette rolled his eyes.

“Don't roll your eyes at me.”

“What are you gonna do about it?” he challenged.

Without another word, Matt grabbed the boy's hand and pulled him along to the first room that he saw, the same room the brunette had christened the night before. He pushed Jason onto the bed and the boy landed in a seductive pose. “I had to resort to fucking myself in here last night.” Matt straddled the boy and kissed his neck. “I'm sorry, baby. For what it's worth, I dreamt about you all night.” “It's not worth much if you can prove your love in reality.” “Ooo, you got a smart ass mouth,” Matt growled as he gripped the boy's jaw in his hand. He kissed him. “A pretty mouth.” “I know that.” Matt tightened his gripped on his boyfriend's jaw. “Did I tell you to speak?” “No.” “You'll speak when spoken to and you'll obey my orders.” “Yes, sir.” “Take that fucking robe off.” Jason immediately obliged and untied the fluffy material and let the robe slide off of his shoulders. “You're so fucking beautiful. But you're a slut aren't you?” “Yes,” the boy panted, growing more and more turned on by the second. He didn't know if Matt's dilated eyes were from the medicine or the intense enjoyment he was receiving from dominating him, but as long as he continued without issue, the brunette didn't mind. Matt shoved Jason's torso onto the bed before wrapping his arms around his thighs, aggressively pulling him to the edge of the bed. “You're mine. Don't you ever forget that shit.” “Yes, sir. Show me how much you own this ass.” The boy quickly gripped Jason's fragile throat. “Did I tell you to speak?!” “No,” he rasped. “Then why are you talking, let alone telling me what to do?!” “Cause I'm tired of waiting. Fuck me!” Matt applied more pressure to his grip. “You disobedient little shit! I'm-” “Yamaha,” Jason faintly gasped as he grabbed his boyfriend's wrist to pull it away. He quickly dropped his hand. “Baby, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?” The brunette sat up and rubbed his neck as he nodded. “It just started to hurt and I couldn't breath for a second. I'm fine though.” Matt shook his head. “The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you...but I'm always fucking up,” he mumbled. “Jason, I'm so sorry.” “Shit happens. That's why we have a safe word. Now, come on little bitch,” he said in attempt to antagonize the boy, “fuck me.” Matt placed a gentle kiss on his boyfriend's lips as he returned the robe to his shoulders. “What are you doing?” “I hurt you... I just-” “Nooo, Matt please don't do this. I'm fine!” “No, Jason you aren't fine! It'll probably bruise and people will ask questions and take pictures and it'll be on the tabloids and it'll be this big issue for you and it's all my fault and-” he took a deep breath. “I'm gonna take my other pill.” Matt turned and exited the room, leaving Jason to weep into his pillow. >>>

#letters fic #pearlet fanfiction

[mincedpeaches]

Kadewave headcanons being Team Dads! Ft. teen son Blurr! (And throw in a bit of angst because Kade sure as heck don't live as long as them?)

its wild because normally im 100% down for that angst but honestly im not ready for that right now because of rescue bots’ still uncertain fate. how can i angst when i may never get more canon purity again

shhhh Only Good Wholesome Fathers and Teen Angst Now:

Heatwave and Kade always subtly fretting that Blurr is going Too Fast. Like they can’t really get on him about it because part of it is his job, but these Teens today and their Need For Speed you know??? It doesn’t seem all that safe is all.

Blurr getting called out by one of them (more often Heatwave) for doing some dumb thing and Blurr going “Uh hello, [your other half] does that dumb thing all the time!” and either of them going “Yeah but that doesn’t make it a good idea!!!!!!” 

Kade and Heatwave: *sniping at each other*Blurr, deadpan: “Oh no. It looks like Mom and Dad are fighting again.”

Blurr starts hanging out with Salvage alot more whenever he gets a chance to be off base so after awhile Kade and Heatwave stage a parent-son powwow like “Blurr are you sure you’re ready for a relationship? It is a serious commitment you know” and Blurr having to be like “Oh my Godddd you guys we’re not even going out yet you’re so embarrassing” (while actually being Teen Annoyed because he thought he was being subtle the whole time (HE WASNT)). Also its weird because its Heatwave and Kade’s instinct is to pull the ‘ol “this is my shotgun don’t you hurt him ya hear” move on anybody that was dating Blurr but Salvage is a good pure hearted southern boy who wouldn’t hurt a fly, and if anything really its Salvage that would need that kind of move done for him AGAINST Blurr lmao 

Blurr: “You know, I was thinking of changing my paint job to something a little more-” Kade & Heatwave in unison: “NO”[later]Blurr: “Hey guys so no paint right, but check out my new decal!!Kade & Heatwave: GET RID OF THAT RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP US-

When Optimus is planned to come to visit and Blurr actually gets his act together for 5mins because he knows how much it matters to Heatwave and in his heart he is a good boy who loves his Dad :3

Blurr trying to sneak off to use the ground bridge to get off base late at night (visiting Salvage again probably), only then the lights flick on and there are Kade and Heatwave, waiting there with disappointed Dad faces on. Kade may or may not have gotten a Dad Living Room Armchair™to sit in and/or turn around in while sporting said look of Dadly disappointment.

Blurr trying to get away with stuff and asking one of them for permission, only to get hit in the face with the classic “Well did you ask [your other parent] about it?” When he asks Heatwave sometimes Blurr tries for “Since when is Kade the boss? Didn’t Optimus put you in charge??” and you would think this would work but it never does, ever. 

As a side note the wiki didn’t list where Blurr was actually assigned at the end of the season by Optimus so I went to watch the episode to look it up and it turns out he didn’t assign him or Salvage anywhere?? So I guess an assumption would then be that they probably ended up in the same places they were before (the new northwestern colony and back at Griffon Rock respectively) but I’m choosing to ignore that for the sake of my Headcanons and assume Blurr is on base and Salvage is the one at the northern colony. I think it makes sense, since Blurr could probably use some more training of his own, he’s the best fit of the non-main four to be the next one to get a human, and Salvage’s skills would be best suited for helping build a new colony, not patroling Griffon Rock.

Also as I’m finishing this I only now realize by “Team” Dads you may have meant more about Heatwave and Kade leading the entire team of recruits and not just being Dads to Blurr but whoops Blurr took over this post and there’s no going back.

#Teen Blurr is so good i love it #bury me in a trash pit ten miles deep #give me that Good Wholesome Content to sooth the pain of rescue bots possibly never returning to me again!!!!! #*cries* #mincedasks #Anonymous

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 11 “BUT IM SAfE” (Lexi)

johnny: i love allie so much. we must save you both 4 votes zak 3 votes aro. we will make it johnny: flips and gets himself voted out why do i always align with the stupid people. i really want to know.

*continues to sip my rum bitterly* Pretty sure if I lose this immunity I'm going home next. I honestly don't trust a single person in this game anymore, not that I had a lot of trust with anyone to begin with but y'know. Johnny was one of the few people I felt I could work with, and I'm on the fence about Ryan now, he came to me about the vote about Johnny and I told him I breaking up a group would be better and now Johnny is gone. Mitchell is saying it was Ryan, Ryan is saying Mitchell already had it planned out before, and Willow is saying Johnny was a threat. I mean I think it was Mitchell's and WIllow's groups but I can't be sure. The only thing I can be sure about is I'm on the bottom here.

(a little bit later)

UPDATE: there is no way in hell i'm winning this challenge.

Welp... it took 3 fuckin seasons but i think i'm finally... in a power position on tumblevivor. I think i'm finally fuckin on top. And tru, I was a significant power player in both Machu Picchu's and Malaysia's pre-merges, but by the time the merge came, I was unsuccessful both times in forging a legitimate and feasible path to the end of this game. After Matt was voted out, I cursed my luck - AGAIN i had failed. AGAIN i was to wait and watch my ally's be picked off by Allie's. But then Willow came, changed it all, and we pulled off the biggest fucking move of this game - which I orchestrated - by taking out Johnny. And just as you'd imagine, the whole game fucking opened up. Willow and I've got a F3 with Allie, a F4 with Aro and Zak, and now I've got people coming to ME. Wanting to work with ME. Because, for now, I'm on top. And when that happens, people are going to want to tear you down, so immunity is now more important than ever... as is this next vote. I need to keep myself shored up as well as possible. My 3-way alliance chat w Aro and Zak is them wanting to target Allie w our F4 deal and Luca. I don't want that. Allie's shady and she betrayed me but at the end of the day she's also a number for me and Willow moving forward. RTP wants to work with me. For the first time ever in this game, LA hit ME up instead of me having to approach her. I think I can work with Luca. Lex, though... she gotta go. She doesn't benefit me at all, she's a former winner, she's done nothing in this game ever to make me feel good with her... her ass gotta be grass. Voting out Allie eliminates an out, and a potential endgame plan, for myself, which would allow Aro/Zak/Luca to become a F3 deal should they want to. A F5 of our F4 and Willow does not look good for me ! So I'd want the rest of the game to shake out something like this: 9th - Lex; 8th - LA; 7th - RTP; 6th - Luca; 5th - Zak; 4th - Allie, leaving a F3 of myself, Willow, and Aro, which I'd like to think I can win. Letting Allie get deep into this game is a risk but I'm willing to take it because the composition of the jury combined with her seeming desire to go to the end with me both prove good to my overall game. It's within reach, if I can just hold on to it. For the first time... maybe I could fucking win.

So here's a recap of what happened last round. - Me, Zak, Mitchell and Willow form a plan to get the majority to split the votes 3-3 so that we can put 4 votes on Johnny - We had no idea if they were 100% going to split or not but King Johnny comes to our aid because he decides to form the same exact plan but with  4 votes on Allie instead - We chose Johnny over Allie because he was the leader of the rookies alliance and with him gone most of them are free agents

This round *should* be fine, with Zak's flare and Willow on our side for good (hopefully) we have 5 votes for sure. They're planning on voting Allie and also working on turning Luca so hopefully they dont have an idol rip. I know this might come off as cocky since its only final 9, but I've been thinking about endgame a lot ever since tribal. I'm 100% confident that Willow will win any final 3 but I genuinely wouldn't mind going to the end with Zak and Mitchell because they're awesome folks aaaand they're kiiiinda getting cocky so it might give me a shot to win. Willow is amazing too but she's too big of a threat so if we get to the end she would have to go at 4 or 5

if i go home bc i played myself into not fuckin spelling reservoir correctly i'm gonna fuckin punch johnny frat boy in the face when i get to ponderosa

I'm a terrible person, I keep forgetting Luca is still in this game and I work with him. But, I mean anyone who reads my confessionals should know I'm a terrible and salty af person. Also i think the rum actually gave me a hangover, apparently bourbon and 151 doesn't mix, who knew? And I just did the immunity challenge and completely fucked up, I got a big zero, there is a reason I try never to spell anything out loud, I need to see things written. [sos]

https://youtu.be/coM4svs6ydY

LMAO I FUCKED UP THAT CHALLENGE SO BAD. I'm just really hoping other people messed up on the first word bc I don't wanna be the only one who got zero, thats embarassing. The second after I said "drout" I was like wait shit thats wrong its spelt "drought" oops!

This challenge will probably be my most shameful moment of TS, a fucking zero, I'm still not over it. But with Mitchell winning immunity there goes the main person i wanted out, which could be a good thing cause it made me rethink. I think Willow needs to go, I was so worried about Allie being a middle man between Lex and Willow that I overlooked Willow may be the real threat here. When she started gunning for Lex I just assumed it was because she was worried Allie might pick Lex over her cause they seemed so tight, but after that vote she was with Mitchell's group, and the same with Jacob's vote. Once, it can pass by as nothing but twice? and on the vote that blindsided Johnny, she's more in with that group than I thought. If I happen to be right about this, then this is our last chance to weaken their side before they get majority and I'm totally fucked because Mitchell and I might talk and get along but I think him saying he wants to work with me is 100% fake and he's just playing the game and there is no way I even make F5 with him. The biggest problem I see right now is Allie. She is the vote I really need to get to pull this off, and I'm not sure if she'll flip on Willow or not.

(a little bit later)

So apparently I freaked out Allie this morning, with coming to her about voting Willow. MY BAD. She doesn't wanna vote Willow, which I can understand, Willow has been her person throughout the game. I knew trying to flip her was a long shot but I figured I should try anyways. But I was able to make her question their relationship, since Willow has been leaving her out of plans lately. I feel like tribal is gonna be mess, but let's see how this goes~

Why do I have a funny feeling either me or Zak is gonna get idold out tonight

All day it seemed too goddamn good to be true. It looked like Lex was going to be 7 votes out, but then fucking willow and zak and aro had to be paranoid!! And IDK EUFHEWUEidsz WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE SAYING OR DOING!!!! Granted, I don't think Lexi has an idol or would play it if she does; and I CAN think that, since I have immunity and my neck is on the line. But they're fucking going CRAZY overboard with counter measures that would send Allie home anyways???? Even if Lex didn't have an idol????? This vote is gonna be so fukcing messy bc everyone in my alliance can't just sit STILL. jesus christ i still hope it'll be 7 votes lex or maybe 5 votes lex 2 votes allie but like... i don't fuckin get it. these kids are so dumb.

I'm fairly confident someone's lying or an idol is being played tonight and I'm gonna be packing my bags at tribal. Like... I've done so much work in this game and I'm not ready to go and this seems like such a simple vote but so did the vote when everyone was lying to me and Matt was voted out. Oh my godddd I'm not in the mood to get 9th place!!! I might have to pull out my flare tonight and we might have to flip the vote last minute because this Lexi puta probably has a fucking idol and she's voting me!!! I just really feel like something fishy is going on tonight and I'm not excited

I JUST MADE FUN OF PEOPLE FOR GETTING SPOOKED BUT NOW I'M SPOOKED TOO AND IDK WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

(a bit later)

OK SO FINAL TALLY BASED ON WORDS PEOPLE HAVE SAID: 5 ON LEX 2 ON LA 1 ON ARO 1 ON ZAK. WHAT I EXPECT: 5 ON LEX 2 ON LA 2 ON EITHER ARO OR ZAK. DO I EXPECT TO GET FUCKED?????????????/ YEEEEEEEEEES FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEES BUT I GOT IMMUNITY ZAK GOT A FLARE IF AN IDOL COME OUT A FLARE COME OUT WE GOTTA RISK IT FOR THE BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISCUIT LET'S DAAAAAAAAAAAANCE

[5/4/17, 9:07:12 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: I heard the vote was gon be for aro [5/4/17, 9:07:17 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: if ur down for that?? 

On 5/4/17, at 9:09 PM, lex wrote: > Hi my vote it for zak (selfie) i really do love making big moves. i would like to thank ryan la luca and allie for making my shadiness possible this round. it really means a lot to my soul. this round started off pretty chill considering someone i thought was my biggest ally left in what has to be the weirdest tribal in quite a while. but johnny fucked himself up by targeting allie and i to the people we are closest to in the game? like did he honestly think we wouldnt find out... but i kept my mouth shut and pretended i did not know what he was doing cause if there is one thing i have learned in this game its to never plan shit at the last second cause its not going to end well for anyone. so he left and everyone was like yes we love each other hooray great hair babe but that all changed when the willow monster attacked. BUT IM SAfE AND I HAVE YET NEEDED AN IDOL! WOOOO PALAWAN ME WOULD NEVER!

#thequeenstaysqueen

[80smikewheeler]

HOLY FUCK

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