#SO AM GUNNA LIKE DO A BETTER VERSION I THINK

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

I Just had a Baby with Chris

We all have our favorite Hollywood Chris so choose your favorite to have a child with.... at least fictional chose your favorite but I did write in Christopher Robert Evans name (I do not know him personally and this is an alternative Universe with how my version of Chris would act. )

Comments Welcome nd reblogs welcome to not repost translate or publish anywhere

18+ just in case as always language, mentions of breastfeeding a baby just hours of childbirth nothing graphic fluff a tiny tiny bit of angst because someone wants to hold thier daughter while the other- oh well you'll see but totally fluff:

"Hey look its Mommy she's waking up, say hi Mommy" Chris placed a gentle kiss to to his sleepy newborn daughter and waved her tiny hand. He was walking around the room with his shirt off and the baby just in her diaper

"Honey she's 12 hours old I think the skin to skin contact is-"

"Hey," he whined "you get skin to skin"

"Well I'm breastfeeding her, its inevitable."

"Let me have her now." He moved sideways half in possession had in teasing.

"Chris she's not going to automatically because a daddys girl just cause of that."

He pouted "I can try."

I smiled it was cute he's been waiting so long for this and all he wanted was just to hold her. But I didn't want her to get cold. But I guess Chris body heat helps. I looked at the time.

"Gimmie she gunna be hungrey"

"No she's fine." He gave her a few kisses on the side of her head."

"Christopher Robert Evans are you withholding our daughter from me?"

"No I-"

"Need I remind you who spent 18 hours of labor I. Want. My. Child." I growled because oh hell no "Dont you dare-"

"Ok, ok. Look Mamas all protective she loves you so much. Daddy knows better than to say no."

"You already did now give me my child." I don't know why but at this moment I was ready to kill him.

Then she started getting fussy and the started crying within seconds.

"Sweetheart now look what you did she's crying she needs her mother."

"She needs her father too."

"Don't make me throw this tissue box. Give me my child I will not ask again." She was full on crying and I need my child I was thinking of how I could kill him and not let our baby fall to the floor.

"Ok ok" Chris handed her over.

"Hi there baby" she was still crying

"I know Daddy doesn't listen to Mommy he loves you but Mommy know when you need food doesn't she." I cooed "yea I know you're Hangrey just like Mama"

She cried harder with a higher pitch, making Chris wince,

"Just like Mama," I smiled. She is definitely my kid.

I got my chest out and arranged to hold her and within seconds she was feeding and calming down. Frankly so was I.

I looked at him with an I told you so.

"How'd you know?"

"Chris she's been eating every like 4 or 5 hours- I just knew. I'm sorry I got aggressive I just." I sigh "I know how long you've wanted to be a Father for but I wanted to hold her I knew she was gunna be fussy I just knew. "

"Honey it's ok the doctor said your hormones will be a bit outta wack."

"Out of wack I threatened to hit you with the tissue box"

"I refused to give you or child."

"Ok your right I win." I smiled. He rolled his eyes- I wasn't going to argue when I already won.

And then looked down at our now sleeping and eatting angel.

Then I heard his camera phone.

"Chris I am half naked."

"Come in its a beautiful thing"

"Breastfeeding, my chest or our child?"

"All three." It sounded like half question half statement

"You learn fast. "

He chuckled. "I love you so much I didnt think I could love you any more than I do or did but seeing you bring her into this world giving me the family I wanted making it complete and then all this love I have for this little one all because of you l. You're amazing.?

"Thank you." I looked at our little bundle of joy and she truly was. I cannot believe is ours I can't believe I gee. I can't believe I pushed something this sized out if my body.

" I mean it I'm I don't have the words right now and all the thank you and all the "I love yous" in the world dont even begin to scratch the service.

" How about you get some sleep and let the nurses in the nursery take her for a bit hm?

You need rest. Its their job."

She grabbed my finger in her sleep.

"And miss out on these moments. No." He took another picture.

"Hmm yea she is a calm baby when she gets what she wants. Just like mama was wasn't she? No really tho I'd wake up half the nursery plus And we're doating over her. She knows already we're hooked."

There was a small knock on the door.

"Hey how are you two doing I brought some food I figured you'd both be awake.

How'd you know

"I was, our first born is always special.

"Thanks Ma" he deadpanned.

"Chris hasn't gotten any sleep he's very insistent on the skin to skin content I think the nursery should be fine taking care of her so we sleep after all we won't have help like that for at least 18 years. "

"I can always watch her when you get home if you need seep"

"Really? Oh you are the best mother in law ever"

I sigh, "Sorry I'm tired. I shouldn't be just had a nap but I am"

"You napped for 20 minutes darling. After 18 hours of labor you deserve sleep."

"Only 20 minutes? She's still feeding dont let me sleep."

"It's ok if you do"

"I just don't want to miss a second. Besides I bullied Christopher enough for her."

"Oh really" the grandmother smirked.

"Yea I knew she was going to want to eat and I wanted my daughter and he wouldn't hand her over...but I also threatened him with the tissue box. "

"Chris you knew better than to come between a mother and her child."

"I just wanted to hold her," he defended himself "Half that cute butt is mine."

"Yea her butt is cute. come'er on the side she's feeding just sit behind me can barely keep my eyes open. Just just in case."

"You sure"

"Chris its not like you haven't touched them before"

"Well you said you didn't want me touching you again."

I rolled my eyes. Thinking back to the l8 hours of labor where at one point I said i never want you to touch me ever again and then then damn idiot took his hand away the one I was holding onto for dear life, which I then yelled at him to give me his hand back and then he said "You didnt want me to touch you." I still don't know if he was trying to be a smart ass or if he actually thought he was doing what I wanted.

"Just make sure she's OK hold her. "

"Rest my love"he kissed the side of my head.

"I got her I got you both." He held his head just under her pillow and then I fell asleep at that.

Point of View Change

She the had comfort of knowing Chris has her back their daughter's back and head as well and she couldn't ask for more.

"You wouldn't give her her child?

"I was bon- you know she's half min too but me and her were bonding. I was telling her how she needs to let Mommy sleep and how I'd take care of her, she was so silent. I and I want to get skin to skin contact in as much as I can. I'm nervous about letting her out of my sight. It feels like a dream all the love I have for my two girls I just I never thought. I know how I felt when my neices and nephews were born but this this doesn't even compare."

"It never does Sweetheart. You will always love her that much and worry."

"I'm never going to sleep again am I?"

"Probably not. "

"You'll be a good girl for daddy won't you?" The newborn just flexed her hand and Chris took that as a yes.

He relax into the bed.

He fell asleep after a few minutes Chris hand was still holding the little newborn who still feeding. And then when she was done she had moved herself off and then onto her mothers chest as if it was a pillow for sleep, just like her mother said she was like as an infant. The new grandmother took some pictures of the sweet new family sleeping these were the best moment the kindest moments in parent hood. The child was safe and the parents sleep soundly knowing thier child was safe. But she knew this would end soon and they never sleep peacefully again. Knowing parents never stop worring about thier children.

Point of View Change

I woke up and was calm for about half a second before I realized she was in my arms when I feel asleep- I was suddenly in a panic

"Chris chris where is she-"

"I brought her to the nursey she's fine." The ran his hand over my hair a few times and kissed my temple as I I sighed in relief

"God I got terrified thought maybe I dropped her."

"Shh go back to sleep. Hmmm" he caressed my face and gave me a long deep kiss.

"Chris don't start that thats how we got here in the first place." I joke

"Oh and it's getting us here again. Now sleep."

"Only if you do."

"I did."

"Ok only if you sleep more than 10 minutes."

"Even Steven baby you keep waking up she's fine I promise. I'll wake you at the first thing."

"I love you Chris."

"I love you to more then I can say. Rest you need it, you deserve it my love." He said giving me a soft kiss before I fell back asleep.

Check out my other Chris work here:

Thanks to @chrisevansdaughter for her encouragement

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[bokuroskitten]

i am thinking™️ of how much taiju would love to have kids, love to give you his babies. he’s desperate for it in fact. one could even say he’s a man on a mission

- maran <33

Oooooo maran, oh my love you know what you’re doing with this one, you know exactly what you’re doing… and I LOVE IT 😵‍💫🤭 we’re starting this event off RIGJT!

warnings: breeding, cream pies, manhandling, Taiju’s desperate for redemption and a happy family with you <3

Taiju never thought he would have kids. Ever. He didn’t think he deserved after the way he treated his own siblings, guilt eating away at him and making him feel unworthy of the unconditional love that comes with being a parent.

He never thought he would have kids until he met you. You who helped him become a better man, you helped mend his relationship with his siblings (along with Mitsuya of course, let’s hear it for the best taiju apologist <3) You who helped him work through his guilts, flaws and insecurities. Sure he’s still a little rough around the edges, but with you he’s the best version of himself.

Which is why when he sees you with Mitsuya’s little sisters, Mana clung to your hip and Luna held tight to your palm he knows. He knows right then and there that he needs to have children, your children. He knows as his heart starts pickig up in speed that you two would be the best parents together, make the most beautiful little babies. He knows as his cheeks start to turn a little pink when Luna grabs his hand and grins, asking to be swung between you two that a lil baby of his own would be treated so well with him as the father and you as the mother.

So that evening he doesn’t hesitate hauling you onto the bed, your shocked little noises and whines of protest about him “going too fast” fall on deaf ears. Your clothes are long gone, ripped clean from your pretty body that he usually takes his time to worship. But not tonight. Tonight he’s got you folded in half, your cute thighs trembling as he presses them up against your shoulders. His eyes are glued to your swollen cunt, how it drools and stretches so desperately just to fit every inch of him. His thick fingers massage even circles into your clit, which throbs pathetically as his hips push flush to your ass yet again.

“D-daddy…”

“Yea that’s right precious, m’gunna be a daddy real soon, just loosen up for me, hm? Gunna fill this pretty little pussy up…”

He ruts into you ruthlessly, silences your cried with his mouth and tongue. The slaps of his skin into your ass echos in the room and the squelches of your pussy are down right pornographic but that’s what he needs. What he craves. He’s not sure how many loads he fills you up with but his balls ache by the end, purple and twitching and laying limp. He shivers when he slowly pulls his cock from you, cock coated in creamy cum and webbed slick. He fingers are quick to plug up your filled, abused hole, nails dug into the meaty flesh of your thighs. He keeps you folded just like that, claiming it’ll help it stick <33

Taiju’s birthday Event 💘

#L answers #happybirthdaytaiju #taiju smut #taiju shiba smut #taiju shiba #tr taiju #tokyo revengers #tr smut #HEHE #we’re starting off hot <3

[hankwritten]

Angels and Ministers of Grace Defend Us

Day 1: SAVE (Napoleon Complex)

“Your earpiece.”

“I’m fine Spook. Nothing ever happens at these things.”

“Your earpiece, Conagher.”

Dell sighs, but holds out his hand for the microphone Marcel has been trying to nudge onto him. It’s a small relief. There are still a million other things Marcel has to do before the conference starts in full, not to mention Dell’s speech itself, and he has no time to quibble over such basic safety protocol.

“I don’t even see how it’d help in an emergency,” Dell continues, “what am I going to do? Start yellin’ oh no, someone help! Gettin’ assassinated over here!”

“Hopefully you would provide us with a bit more useful information than that: your current location, number of attackers, etc.”

“Number of attackers? Partner, this bunch a’ eggheads are about as docile as a herd of a’ electric sheep,” Dell says. “They ain’t coming at me in any great numbers. The way these fellers vent their frustration is by writing snide academic papers that claim I wouldn’t know a true isotopic configuration if it was making love to my mother.”

“Sounds scathing. Best not to offend them then. And keep your wits about you while you’re up there.”

“You always say that, and nothing’s gunna happen to me, just like it always never happens.” He smiles. “Honestly, with how little goes on, I don’t know why we even keep you around.”

Marcel stiffens. “If that is how you truly feel, then you may take it up with our employers.”

The corner of Dell’s mouth twitches downward. “I was just teasing you Spook, you know I like having you here with me.”

You wouldn’t if you knew the extent of what I’ve done for you, Marcel thinks, unbidden.

“Sometimes I don’t get you.” Dell sighs and shakes his head. “You don’t have to keep such distance with me, you know.”

Instead of replying, Marcel checks his watch. “Almost time. Go now. And remember what I said.”

“Yeah yeah,” Dell waves, smiling fondly as the opening speaker finishes introducing him. “I’ll keep my eyes peeled.”

Marcel waits. One breath. Then two. Just to make sure Dell is truly out of earshot; he then takes off at a dead sprint.

The common perception of a bodyguard is that of an intimidation factor: a large man, usually bald, always in a suit, who stands behind their charge and glares at anyone that gets too close. But that often isn’t realistic. The more visible a bodyguard is, the easier it is to plan for him; to dodge quickly, to know where his blind spot is. And indeed, there are many famous tales of celebrity escorts absolutely failing to take down a single overzealous fan who comes barreling out of the mob. The Hollywood-version of a sunglass’d stranger is useful as a deterrent, but nothing more.

It is much better to be the one with the plan than the one who needs to improvise.

Marcel’s footsteps do not clang as he takes them two at a time up the catwalk, as though he were a stagehand who’d toed them his whole life. The information fed into his earpiece during their conversation let him know that he is still where he should be, that everything is going as it should. The assassin is still fumbling with his gear when Marcel crashes into him with a knife in his throat and a hand around his mouth.

The struggle is brief. So much safer to eliminate threats before they happen. So much easier than the alternative, which would no doubt involve rushing onto stage and knocking Dell out of the way of an incoming bullet. Now, he simply has to pull himself upwards on the rail, straightening out his shaking legs. There is quite a bit of blood on him, yes, but none of it has dripped on the heads below. The conference goes on with none of the attendees the wiser, and Marcel takes a moment just to take it all in. Dell is on stage, in front of a projection with graphs and strings of numbers Marcel cannot even begin to fathom, but the audience is writing in their little pocketbooks and nodding along. Dell is so…perfect up there. In his element. A true genius at work. The best of both worlds then, that he got to stay and continue his speech. Safe, yet going about business.

Marcel glances down at his hands, wet with blood. They’ve left shiny collections where he’s been gripping the rail, distracted as he’d stared down breathless at the man he is meant to be protecting.

God forbid you ever find out how many times I’ve ended a life like this, Marcel thinks. Then you would understand why I keep my distance. We’re in different worlds really. You have the chance at a somewhat normal life but I…I am too far gone.

He allows himself a minute of fading adrenaline and deep, bitter shame.

Later, Marcel is there with fresh gloves as he helps Dell down off the stage.

“How’d I do?” Dell asks, though he knows very well how he did.

“The brain trust seems entertained.”

Dell smiles at him, and oh if that doesn’t just make Marcel’s heart flutter. As though they are equally comfortable in their old song and dance, gently ribbing each other while they begin the walk back to Dell’s hotel room. Well, that’s not too far from the truth. Trying to maintain a conversation with Dell while there is still the buzz of death at the back of his mind is almost normal at this point. The routine certainly isn’t like his early days as an agent, when time could be sorted into either ‘mission’ or ‘time off’—now that division is too blurry to let his vigilance lax. Corporate assassins do not wait for one to come back from one’s smoke break, after all.

Yet, even knowing that, times like these are probably the closest he will ever get to contentment: simply walking, chatting with a friend.

“I don’t know,” Dell says. “When I brought up my evidence on single-state teleportation, I thought the crowd was going to start throwing things.”

“A simple scatter plot got them so riled?”

“Oh so you were paying attention when I put those slides together,” he smirks.

“Of course,” Marcel says. “I pay attention to everything you do. It’s my job, mon ami.”

“Well, it puts you one up on those folks. I swear, if they’d just listen this whole project could revolutionize transportation as we know it. But, I got a feeling they’re just gunna want my head on a pike, ask the TF to strip my position or something like that.”

“Tch,” Marcel says, suddenly feeling an impetuous anger. “What do they know anyway? The smartest man alive has just deigned to speak to them in their dingy little conference hall; they should be begging you to come back.”

Instead of replying, Dell abruptly looks down at his shoes, a deep smile crawling at the edges of his face.

Is he serious? Marcel wonders. Such a small compliment has him acting so pleased? It’s not like he doesn’t know what a genius he is.

“You’re sweet,” Dell says eventually.

And there, Marcel’s heart rate spikes right up again, almost as wicked as when he was fighting for his life. Damn him for ever taking this job, for ever letting these unprofessional, inconvenient feelings fester. Ones he can’t act on. They would require honesty he knows he’d never be able to muster, not when he fears that if Dell looks past the surface of his affable bodyguard, he’d recognize the true monster within.

A shadow follows him. One he can’t shake, even during these moments of pretend.

That shadow steps into the literal when an assassin dressed as a janitor levels a pistol at Dell’s chest.

Marcel does not think. Simply because he prefers to eliminate preemptively rather than reactively does not mean he can’t, and his body gains a life of his own. They had just been rounding the corner of the stairwell, side by side—it is just enough time to step in front of the shot.

The world goes a blazing bright, a cosmic white hole in his stomach. The second spent not-thinking-only-reacting buys Dell a moment of his own; he reaches for his belt radio, draws, and is suddenly firing a round into the janitor’s head.

Marcel collapses at the same time as the assassin.

“Shit,” Dell hisses, rushing down after him, trying to keep him upright.

If Marcel weren’t going into literal shock, that scene might have done something just about equivalent. “A gun?” he mumbles as Dell rips open his button-up to get a better look at the wound. “I didn’t clear you for that.”

“I’ve been working for the TF my whole adult life, Spook,” Dell says, a deadly focus as he begins applying pressure. “I was dealing with all ‘a this long before I had you, you know.”

“Still, I did not realize…”

God this hurts, Marcel thinks. Been far too long since I’ve been shot. I’m out of practice.

“I simply…never wanted you to see me like this,” he continues babbling for some ungodly reason. Blood loss, perhaps.

“I never wanted to see you like this either, goddamn bleeding out in my arms-”

Dell’s irritation is mounting as he tries to stem the blood flow. He glances around, but they’re alone in the stairwell, no help in sight.

“I meant,” Marcel says. “I did not want you to. To see me as a killer. To know the…the ugly side of what I do.”

That gives Dell pause. He looks down, thoughts connecting on his face, and Marcel would feel shame if he had the ability to feel much of anything right now. To know what a fool he must look, confessing his feelings minutes before his untimely death.

But after a moment, Dell says, “I ain’t blind to what you do, Spook. And I ain’t scared of it; fact I appreciate the hell out of it. ‘Preciate you. Which is why I need you to stay with me, you hear?”

“I am not going anywhere,” Marcel says, lazily waving a hand.

“Not funny.”

“Well, I assume you appreciate me for dedication and preparation, and not my humor.”

Dell’s eyes widen. “Preparation…that’s it.” His palm reaches up and clumsily slaps his earpiece, the one he had complained about only an hour before. “This is Conagher, emergency on the first floor, west stairwell. One assailant dead, but we need immediate medical assistance. Do you copy?”

Marcel marvels, distantly, glad one of us remembered. Though I do hope Mundy is actually monitoring the radio lines and not just napping in the surveillance van.

But, after two seconds of wretched silence, a crackling confirmation comes through over the wire. Dell’s shoulders sag with relief.

“Hear that?” he asks. “Help’s coming. Now you got no excuse to go slipping away on me.”

“Understood, Monsieur Conagher. Since apparently you ‘need me here’— your words.”

“I do. But it ain’t,” he says, “because you took a bullet for me.”

“No?”

“No. I just need you. That’s all.”

And, as Dell holds Marcel’s face in blood-covered hands while they wait for paramedics to arrive, he relaxes and thinks, of all the times I’ve been shot, this one is almost pleasant.

#dnadvalentines2023 #engiespy #practical espionage #napoleon complex #tf2 fanfiction

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Hi all one of bookies friends here.

Everyone needs to calm down

Look at the facts.

Video- showed her without ANY ring a lot

Video-could he be anymore obvious with his left

hand.

Everytime he does or has something come out she does something. This time she shot herself in the hand twice.

And no I no longer find Chris attractive. If your team real i dont care. I just dont like seeing my friends on here who are team or get all worked up bwcause its nothing. It is for nothing we've, proven its fake.

How many holes can you put into a hot air balloon before it can't fly anymore?

To the GP (genaral public) they are married so right after all it was exposed the rings are fake. teams are gunna have to do or try and do clean up for a while. We knew this was going to happen. I expect to see shit about one flying here or the other flying there or they both fly to meet each other. I mean how many roumers in 2 days can start about who is where? It just

makes it look worse and more comical. A real couple wouldnt do damage control at all. Just because a website publishes an article doesn't mean it's a website that reports news or the truth. Remember People mag, US weekly etc is are still mags they use click bait. Don't freak out everytime you hear a rumor that she flew here or did this or that . The fact is its been de bunked disproven if they choose to continue on with the PR BS thats on them a lot of fans are not playing along any more. Im.not playjng along anymore im done with it. I saw a post in instagram that sums everything us well it said

"I am on team PR. But if he wants people

to believe he's with her, then we should

just leave him to it. It's true he owes

us nothing but we also don't owe him

our support anymore."

What point is there to get upset or nervous or anxious over something just because there a rumor about a plane ride. If you wanna believe theres a plane ride maybe its to sign a new contract that this shit is over.

You know its fake i know its fake. And you know what they showed they were gifts from cartier. Maybe her team would shse poney up the money to get cz versions. Frankly it would be even funnier.

We dont owe chris anything.

If you feel silly or stupid or being duped by thibking he was a better man than he is dont be, everyone was. It only goes to show the man could've had awards by now if he picked better scripts

Clean up is gunna happen. WE HAVE SEEN IT. the less you play into it the faster itll be over with.

But dont let this distract you or upset you from a joyus holiday season or take away any happiness you're experiencing or could be experiencing. Focus on something positive and happy. At the very least i saw a blog with a debate about who qas hotter Sam or Castiel. Now THAT is some shit worth arguing about. Not an airheaded Nazi

Thank you, my dear An🫶n.

Honestly, this is a serious wakeup call to a lot. That ring debacle/exposure is something to note, and it could be the sign to many of being done.

And if they aren't, well, I'm happy to partially become the blog that becomes a nostalgic stop for old Chris, Chris Evans before he was a shit person in a shit relationship with a shit person, and Chris Evans Characters Appreciation and absolute SIMPING!!! Oh, and the occasional Albitch hate post, because I still hate her 😆

I'm even thinking it's time to add more Fandoms to my roster. Marvel characters are high on that list. So are book discussions, because I am enjoying that as well 😁

We'll see. The world is my oyster now, especially with that big bomb that fell into our laps, as well as the fact I'm on break and about to undergo the busiest month of my life!!!

It's going to be filled with holiday cheer, family love, Christmas shopping, reconnecting with everyone, and focusing on improving the one love that came back a few months ago, after years... Writing 😊

So, my beautiful weirdos, can we PLEASE take steps towards something new? I think we could use some respite after months, maybe even years of PR Debunking Hell... 🫶

Also, there are certain topics that I don't want to be discussed on here. Because I don't feel comfortable being in the middle of any debate whatsoever (you can ask my dearest friends on here, they know I hate politics and avoid discussing, and eventually debating it, as much as possible). Until my next post, Beloveds 🤗

#An🫶n asks #thank you! #booky reacts #chris evans #chris evans fandom #still a place to hate Albitch. #booky answers #on to new horizons #Happy 25 Days Before Christmas to those who celebrate it Bitchez!!!! #Happy Hanukkah as well... don't know when but figured #I should embrace different cultures on here 😁 #DON'T AT ME ABOUT THE WAR EITHER

[jeffbytes]

i wud like to spend a bit more time on tumblr, i've just got this weird feeling hanging over me that i'm sure is bollocks and my dear moots and friends would be here regardless but my two cents 🏃‍♂️

while i do still self ship and have f/os, it's not been a mainline activity for me in a long time, even art as a whole has sidelined this year to building on my irl connections, playing videogames, volunteering, travelling and generally just doing stuff offline other than drawing. i've branched out into so many new subsections of myself whilst battling something extremely distressing in terms of a fuck up with my HRT so i've been so distant from everything 😖

i'm waffling anyway. how do i phrase this? there's still a point to my friends still being here. right? like even if i do post art occassionally i know many folks followed for my self ships and it's not always gunna be that these days. i fear i've outgrown myself or something and i'm past my prime and my content would no longer be of any interest or something and in general i just feel like i'm losing touch with everything as all my focus and attention has been drawn towards fixing this HUGELY detrimental HRT issue ive been placed in, moving into new hobbies and interests, i fear my relevancy is drawing to a close, i guess.

i dont even know what i want out of this post or if anyone'll even read it no ones obligated to, i just hope even as i (metaphorically speaking, im already having so much trouble with the physical) transition into a new person, i'll still have my friends and mutuals with me and i'll be supported in everything i do and everything i am, rather than just my self ships, i guess

at present it's not something i'm massively dedicated to and i am actually relieved, as i was getting way too deep into it and was actively damaging my mental health and the hobbyist side of selfshipping was all but lost for me. the few bits i do make now feel healthy and balanced with my newer self and i just really hope this better more healed version of me isnt a disappointment for anyone. ;; i cant really think of how else to phrase it. felt like a disappointment to everyone i know recently even when i'm trying so darn hard to see the best in me and the person i've become. i'm proud of my personal growth but now the question remains - at what cost ;;

a rhetorical if u want, no ones obliged to answer that. just wanted that off my chest before i tried to make a more consistent return, even if it's just reblogs of interests i have or art of whatever i feel like doodling that week, if i feel like doodling at all :') ty

#jeffs personal posts #long post #iiiiiii guess #feedback if u want to but no ones obliged to #an ask or a post reply i disabled reblogs for the obvious reasons :')

[bodacious-bombini]

ART TUTORIAL TIME, BAYBEEEEE

How to Draw: Stylized Nebula

Never thought I'd be making one of these, but I couldn't find any helpful (for me) tutorials online, and I just so happened to figure things out on my own! I still wanna change a LOT about the hair in my piece, but I think the tutorial still works!

For this tutorial, you don't NEED these brushes, but if you wanna have your piece look exactly like mine, and you're using Clip Studio Paint, you should get the Galaxy Brush brush pack (Content ID: 1758879)

Step one! Find a nice, dark color! Preferably something that isn't black, as when we Color Dodge the colors, they're going to look mostly like brighter versions of the dark color. (Notice how the colors all become different purples in step 4, due to the purple background color!)

Step Two! Use that dark color with a fluffy brush! I used Clip Studio Paint's default cloud brush, but I'm sure you could find better brushes. This is where you're going to shape your nebula!

For me, my nebula is a person's hair! I wanna go back to my piece and make all of her hair nebula bits, but in case you're new to my blog (hi!!!), I am doing daily drawings! This tutorial is one of my daily posts! If you wanna see this art finished, I'll be uploading that after today! Is this relevant to bring up? No! I am writing this post at like, 3am :)

Step Three! Get some colors!!! This is where you're going to want to experiment around. Or, just take the colors I'm using! They should probably be lighter colors for the Color Dodging to work, so keep that in mind. It might be worth it to find a photo of a real nebula and try to guesstimate colors! For my colors, I had absolutely zero plans for what I was doing, and all my friends say it looks great!

Your brush choice might be important, too! The brush I'm using here is a brush from that Galaxy Brush brush pack!

Step Four! COLOR DODGE YOUR COLOR LAYERS!!!

Or don't! Play around with other blending modes! I actually didn't end up using Color Dodge for my final piece :)

Step Five! Add some stars! A bunch of little dots is all you need, or maybe you want some big dots! It's up to you :) Season to taste!

For me, I used the Stars brush from the Galaxy Brush brush pack! But the stars from that pack are only white for some reason, but that isn't really an issue as you can just use the Layer Color layer property in Clip Studio! I made my stars pink :)

And there you have it! My first art tutorial! Feedback is appreciated! I'm so friggin sleepy, so, goodnight! Follow my comic on Webtoon, cuz I'm gunna be serializing it (relatively) soon!

#my art #drawing challenge #art wip #character design #art tutorial #nebula #nebula tutorial #nebula hair

[divinedeities44]

Getting to it

I was a couple days old when I was adopted. I don’t really remember details about my childhood. I went to a bunch of private Christian schools with a bunch of people who didnt look or live like me. My adoptive mom is one of those people who does EVERYTHING in the suburbs because its “better”. As I heal my relationship with my mom, and understanding she is the way she is because she never healed from her past, I realized my mom, along with most of our parents, lives in fear. My mom is at the very end of the living in fear spectrum. She is super afraid of situations she makes up in her head. Irrational fears.  She wont get an iphone because she doesnt want to get beat up by teenagers who want to steal it. She didnt want me to buy Kai uggs because someone might steal them. Its great that I can say these things and laugh instead of feeling frustrated. My mom fights for power and control. Shes the first reason I decided to teach myself about human behaviors. My dad was the “fun” parent. But as I began to heal my relationship with my dad, I learned he had bought my love. Dont get me wrong, both of my parents are sweet, sensitive people and I love them. But in order for me to grow, it has been my job to recognize and analyze their behaviors, so that I am able to take a step back and see how those behaviors shaped and molded me, so I could unlearn the toxicity and create space for the greatest version of myself. The most i could tell you about my childhood before i turned into a teen is that I was constantly being placed in a BOX! I was always being told suburbia was better than the ghetto. white was better than black. Jesus is the way.  Whole time we were poor asf and none of the people at those schools I was going to were poor. So I didn’t understand why we were trying so hard to be something we were not, but we also weren’t going to cookouts and listening to lil Jon either. I spent that part of my childhood on 29th and Lehigh. The school bus came and picked me and my brothers up and we drove 2 hours to get to and from school everyday. Because the suburbs. I missed vital parts of being black. I didnt even find out who beyonce was til like 2007. I didnt grow up watching Friday, Belly, Scary movie or snakes on a plane. I grew up listening to gospel music. Yep. The WOW tapes,veggietales & bibleman. If you know, you know. My favorite thing was the Olsen twins, Junie B Jones, lite brites, easy bake ovens, barbie dolls, and art. Art was the only thing that stuck with me into my adult years. 

Im gunna have to insert some trauma here, because the traumas are huge turning points in my life. Be gentle with me, as I am gentle with myself. My mom and dad have been separated basically all of my life. The house I grew up on, on 29th & Lehigh, was my grandmothers house. My grandmother lived in Mt Airy, so we lived in the house in North Philly. Me my brothers and my mom. I belive my mom carried a lot of resentment in her heart for how her life turned out and a lot of that resentment was projected on to us. Me, specifically because I was the only girl. And we all know those mother daughter relationships.. Whew! My mom treated me a lot more cruel than she treated the boys. And I think that is the main reason she is so afraid to meet my biologic family. We had a big scary basement with spiders. My mom knew how scared I was of being down there. She used that as ammunition to gain more power and control over me. The same tactics that were used in slavery. Preying on your fear to make you even more fearful of the oppressor. We’ll talk about that later. My mom would do things like lock me in the basement and laugh at me while I cried, and make me scrub the basement floor with a sponge and when I would kneel down to do it in a squat, she would laugh at me and tell me to get on my hands and knees.  I am in no way telling this part of my story for an emotional response. But we need to acknowledge the dark so we can understand the light. There was another time, when my mom was putting a perm in  my hair and i complained one too many times that it burned so she shaved off all my hair, took all my toys and clothes out to the yard, and told the trashmen not to take it so i could see it everyday. My dad came by to take us to the park a few times a week. I remember having to talk to my dad through the basement window, because I was in trouble for doing some kid shit, so I was locked down there and wasnt allowed to see my dad. As Im writing this, Im realizing that was the moment my dad became the “preferred” parent. It was because he hired someone to clean up my rained on toys and clothes from infront of my home that had been sitting there for weeks. Emotional and psychologic abuse. From as early as 7 or 8, I was in therapy, and taking mental illness pills. Because my mom thought there was something wrong with me because I was just different. I questioned everything. I didnt like church. I wouldnt “obey” the social conditioning. It didnt make any sense to me how I was being raised as a white girl, but i lived on 29th and Lehigh. I wanted to jump rope with the girls down the street and go to the cookouts at Rhodes. I could here ludachris from my bedroom window, but all I could have was Fred Hammond. Talk about pissed off.  I wanted to EXPLORE the world! Not be confined by what my mom deemed as acceptable. As a kid, I certainly could not understand my moms behavior. All I knew was I wanted to get up out of there. I told my dad I wanted to live with him. Shortly after my oldest brother had already went to live with him. This started the family court dates. 

My dad lived on 6th and fairmount. In the backroom of a church called the mission. His childhood friend, who I call Uncle Matt, owned the Mission. The mission did church services, clothing and food drives for the homeless. My dad worked for his friend, cleaning the mission, and in return, he was able to stay in the backroom there. My dad was never a bum. He was a workahlic. He worked at the pennsyvaia hospital more than the years I have been alive. He also worked at the rittenhouse hotel. He was just a guy. My dad has never needed much to be happy and Ive always admied that about him, but in the same breath, he needed to take better care of himself and us. Long story short, it ended up being both my brothers, my dad and myself living in the backroom of the mission. of course once we all left our mom, we were taken out of private school and put in public school. Me and my younger brothers elementary/middle school was RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the mission.

It was the worst time of my life. I didnt grow up having a car in my family, no matter which parent I was with. Septa was your girls best friend! And still is at the moment lol This is why it took me 27 years to even be interested in getting a license! I got my license January 2022. Im still mad proud of that. Generational curses are very real yall. But thats another thing we’ll talk about later. Living in a church, with a boy haircut, in the middle of the hood, was a HUGE culture shock to me. I was bullied by those kids so bad. I wanted to kill myself so many times in those days. I may have even tried once or twice. I was barely 12. Please teach your children to be kind to others. Again. My life is serving as example. 

[little-murmaider]

@cthene @squeeto and @failedintsave have written three distinct flavors of Skwistok Apocalypse Fic and they all live in my head rent free so I felt like doing a lil end-of-the-world scene. (If a modified version of this pops up in the Stay Alive sequel that doesn’t exist shh shh shh shut up ❤️) 

The bunker didn’t offer much in the way of creature comforts. A holdover from the Cold War, it was 1500 square feet of steel buried beneath four stories of cement. There were suggestions it had been built for a group, but there was only one bed—a twin cot that only Pickles could fit on comfortably, though Toki made due if he tucked in his knees. The bar and the armory were fully stocked. A connection to the outside world was available via a 360-degree live feed of the surface, visible from a claustrophobic surveillance room. It wasn’t impenetrable, but it was a lucky find. And until they received marching orders from Offdensen, it was home. The only spray of color amongst the sterility was a faded, amateur mural canvasing the entirety of the southwest wall. A panorama of the snowy, mountainous Montana landscape. The proportions are all out of wack: Distant trees and prominent foreground boulders seem to have the same weight and dimension. Toki sits on the floor opposite it, eyes fixed on the blobby bug-eyed buffalo grazing the sorta serene-ish tableau. He thinks of the person who painted this. How they were probably really proud of it. How making it probably brought them some form of peace. How they were long dead. The despair makes him nauseous.  Skwisgaar is curled in the space between Toki’s legs, head resting on his chest, arms wound lightly around his waist. They all agreed to take turns “keeping watch” in the surveillance room.  But everyone was on-edge, everyone was scared, everyone was a little too focused on their own anxiety to notice how deftly Skwisgaar switched shifts. His impulse to assuage the others often tipped into the unhealthy territory but in the last few weeks it had made a full tilt into self-destruction. He’d been holed up in that room, delirious with sleep deprivation, for almost two days days before Toki caught on. He was only convinced to leave when Toki started crying. (He’s not proud of that tactic, but hey, it’s the end of the world. Lots of people are doing lots of things they’re not proud of.) As he idly plays with the ends of Skwisgaar’s hair, Toki hears the echo of footfalls drawing near. They’re so swift, so light, Toki knows exactly who it is well before the worn sneakers appear in his periphery. “Hey,” Pickles says. “Heys,” Toki answers. A half-empty handle of vodka dangles from Pickles’s fingers. He tips his chin at Skwisgaar’s sleeping form. “Why doncha take th’bed?” “Nathan’s using its.” Pickles nods and takes a long pull from his drink. A beat passes.  “…That buffahlo is pretty fucked up, huh?” “I can’ts stops looking at its.” “I’ve never SEEN a buffahlo in real life but I’m,” he pauses, squinting to calculate, “73 percent sure they don’ look like that.” “Onlys 73 per-cents?”  Pickles shrugs. “I mean, hey, maybe buffahlos look exactly like that, I dunno whut I dunno.” Toki’s silent laughter shakes him. But then a muffled moan vibrates against his collarbone. “Toki?” He murmurs, sluggishly starting to rise. He code-switches on instinct. To answer in English, with an audience, is too raw. “Jeg er her.” He cups the base of Skwisgaar’s skull and guides him back to his chest. “Gå tilbake til sengs.” Skwisgaar’s hold tightens. “Lämna mig inte.” “Aldri, elskede.”  He settles against him and sighs. “Tack, älskling.”  Skwisgaar’s weight sinks into him, and after a few moments his muscles relax as his breathing falls into a slow, even rhythm. Again, it is quiet. “Whut does it mean?” Oh right Pickles is here. “Whats?” “Th’ e word and th’ a word you guys use fer each other.” Toki freezes. “At least I think they start wit’ an e and an a, I can’t be bothered t’ look up th’ spellin’ in that elven language  a’yours.” He smiles crookedly but his eyes glass over. “That and we’re 40 feet underground and th’ internet doesn’t exist anymore.” “You’ve heards us says dat?” “Dood ya do it all’a time. I may naht know what yer sayin’ but I’m pretty good at pickin’ up patterns.”  He taps out an invisible rim shot, hissing the cymbal crash as he winks. Toki briefly considers lying. But he knows it’s a waste—Pickles is primed to hacksaw through all his bullshit. “It don’ts...translates, exactly, into English.” He waits a moment to see if Pickles accepts this as an adequate explanation. He doesn’t. Toki continues shakily: “Wells, it does but nots, um, de emotion…” He scrunches his nose and starts over. “Yous don’ts use it for everybodies, yous supposed to saves it for somebody who’s really…” Sighing, he thumbs Skwisgaar’s shoulderblade like it’s a lucky talisman. “I don’ts know whens we starts doesing it.” “A while ago, dood.” Oh.

“Oh. Um. Wells.” Heat rises to his cheeks. “Elskede in Norweigian means,” he winces, “beloved, and älskling ams kinds of de ex-quibbi-kent in Swedish buts it means, uh.” He tucks his chin to his chest and shields his eyes in embarrassment. “It means darling buts you don’ts use its de way you does ins English, it’s, um...” His thumb and middle and index finger squeeze into his eye sockets so hard stars flash across his vision.  “...It’s somet’ings you use for de poirson what ams most specials to yous, likes de poirson you mights maybe marry one days wowee saysing all dis outs loud makes me feel real stupids cans I please stops?” “Okey okey.” When Toki opens his eyes he sees Pickles waving his hands like he’s trying to break up a bad smell. “Asked an’ answered.” The tips of Toki’s ears burn, a shameful sludge spreading thickly behind his sternum. He tips his head back, skull thunking dully against the wall. “Don’ts tell de guys abouts dis, Skwisgaar will nevers forgive mes.” “Nah, dood, don’ worry, this stays in th’ vault.” The drone of the overhead fluorescent lights and the muted thrum of generators thrums like locusts. Skwisgaar inhales deeply, exhales sharply, and nestles closer. Toki’s gaze darts about the terrible mural, searching for something to latch to, but his focus swings as if by gravitational pull back to Pickles’s face. When he at last resolves to glance up at him, he’s braced for ridicule. But when he does, his tension deflates. Pickles doesn’t look like he’s about to make fun of him. Pickles looks like...Toki doesn’t know what Pickles looks like. “Whats dat face?” Pickles’s smile widens, head cocking to the side. “Stops dat! What’s dat face!” “What face! There’s no face! I don’ even have a face!” He bites his lower lip, muffling a chuckle. “Awright bud, I’m naht gunna lie, me and these other dooshbeegs have had our suspicions about the, errrr aaaah...” He cinches one eye shut. “...Nature of yer relationship. But none’a us suspected you guys were, y’know…” He rolls the wrist holding the vodka, liquid splashing to the floor. Toki stares at him questioningly. “...Fully in it.” Toki blinks. “In whats?” Pickles pinches his lips and squints as if to say, come on dude, but doesn’t press further. “Welp.” He kicks backwards to push himself off the wall and stand upright. “It’s almost sunrise. Or sunset, I dunno, this steel box has really fucked up my internal clahck. But I’m gonna watch th’ sun do somethin’ wit’ Murderface until my shift on watch.” He pivots to face the long corridor leading to the surveillance room. I’ll see ya around.” He pauses. He points a finger in the air, draws a small circle, and glances over his shoulder with a small smile. “Abviously.”  He’s gone as quickly as he arrived. Toki’s attention returns to the mural. The staticky grasslands. The angular mountains. The flat plane of the lake. Toki’s not an art guy but he knows this is bad. Still, it moves him. He doesn’t understand why. Maybe he doesn’t have to. He and Skwisgaar have always talked around it. They’ve always had an understanding, leaving little secrets and codes for the other to crack. They did, mostly. It’s the same, mostly. But it’s the end of the world and Toki needs to say it out loud. He buries his face in that soft golden crown and whispers, “I loves you.” “I loves you, too,” is the sleepy reply.  He was wrong. It’s different. It’s better.  “Is likes Pickle says.” He pushes himself up to press his lips to Toki’s neck. “We’s fully ins it.”

#skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #skwistok #metalocalypse #my fanfic

[bugsweirdworld]

Hello! Does your version of Swap Papyrus (🍯) smoke? If so, what is his reaction to an s/o that can make smoke rings?

Hi there bestie 😚!

My Stretch DOES smoke, usually just cigarettes but he also does a bit of weeeeed 🍃🍃 👀

He goes through phases where he says he’s gunna calm down on the smoking but the other guys smoke too and it’s kinda enabling, plus he can’t be bothered to try any more at this point Ahahaha 😂💀

I have some more to say on this though, so I’ll do it as bullet point headcanons for you! But I kept it more broad rather than JUST smoke rings. It’s kinda long so I put a read more!

Stretch with a S/O that smokes

Tw: smoking + mentions of drugs

Once Stretch meets his s/o he tries not to smoke as much because he doesn’t want to be a bad influence

But this + other relationship type dealies make him more anxious/nervous, which just makes him want to smoke more 😂

To be honest, once he finds out that you smoke too he feels kinda weird about it. He doesn’t like the idea of you smoking because it’s really bad for you...

But on the other hand it’s kinda hot

But on the other hand not hot cause HE wanted to teach you how to smoke 😔

I’m not gunna lie he’s a bit of a hypocrite about it, sorry not sorry 💀.

He just likes the idea of you being all innocent and nervous so he starts teaching you, shotgunning the smoke and making out with you, why’d you have to go and betray him like this bestie?! 😭

He’ll definitely want to show you how to do weed if you’ve never done it, but has hidden feelings of being a bad s/o for encouraging you to do these things.

If you agree, you can sit in his lap as he murmurs guidance into your ear, maybe just ignore the way his voice hitches when you move your hips...

If you can do smoke rings he probably thinks it’s really cute and fun!

He has that kind of smug attitude about it. Like, awww they can do smoke rings, how cute... but can they do this?

He probably makes a joke about how you should take it to the next level and do one around his dick 💀

If you learn how to do smoke rings specifically for him or after he met you he finds it even more cute and kinda hot too because you’re learning and doing “naughty” things for him.

You’re just so eager and innocent with the whole ~papy look what I learned 🤗~ kinda thing.

Even better if you let him teach you how to make the smoke rings or any other tricks really.

The way he proposes “lessons” to you is definitely by smirking and blowing a ring in your face, all smug because of your startled, innocent look.

Of course then he starts chuckling, and takes another drag before stubbing his cigarette out and leaning close to shot gun the last smoke, proceeded to then make out with you like a heathen 😔😳

Oh please

...,.,,,.

Who am I kidding? He’d do that whether or not you already knew how to smoke 😂

He loves to smoke with you. As much as the idea of you smoking worries him, one of his favourite things to do is just... lay there with you and smoke.

The two of you, side by side on the floor/grass/bed/etc... just enjoying each other’s company.

Even if it’s only him smoking, even if you don’t feel comfortable with doing it yourself, he still loves to have you with him when he does it.

It feels so domestic, but in his own way.

It’s not romantic home made dinners or talking about starting a family kinda domestic right now, it’s his kind.

You laying on his chest, feeling him breath the smoke in and out while he pets your hair, chuckling every so often at something you said.

Sometimes, since smoking is somewhat of an escape for him, he likes to be alone. But most of the time he’s fine having you lean against him while he smokes out back or smirking as he feels your curious little eyes watching him.

He just loves you. Therefore, he hopes you will feel comfortable enough to do these things with him.

If not that’s fine! He just wants you to be apart of his special time and right now “special time” is a smoke break.

You can help change that though!

He wants you to be apart of the mundane everyday of his life.

Although that thought might have scared him once...

Now??

That would make him very happy.

#those were long wow oops 🤪🤭 #Stretch #Underswap papyrus #Underswap #tkskulls #suggestive #tw: smoking #tw: weed #tw: drugs #undertale #bugwrites

[yuusaris]

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better

@tenderwulf sniped me with a tagging like a deer in an overpopulated area, let's gooooo

Aaand since this is going into a readmore cvuz this... got... long... I'm gunna tag here!

@ferelden-loser, @eponymous-rose, @odin-n-out, @purge-that-urge-rhackathon, @millenniumringg @tortoistor @ygio @bakawitch aaaaand @super-lovely-collection of course, I encourage to do as well.... pardon the length, but even in text form, my favorite person to listen to is always me~

Favorite Color: Not sure about one solid color in particular, but I am a fucking SUCKER for gem tones.

Currently Reading: If audiobooks count, then Gideon the Ninth. The audiobook is really good, I'm having a good-ass time with this necromantic romp. (Or, if you will... necrompancy)

If not - thennn I JUST wrapped up The Witch's Book of Self-Care. I've been thinking of dipping my toes into the witchy-ness pool and this was.... well, I won't say it's a good start, but it did give me personally a good idea of what I want for myself spiritually in general. That has value to me. There's little tidbits about Center and Ground that are just - good for me in general, as my own disassociation from my body is really bad and I'm ready to start... like... being a person.

It's a decent book for me to figure out what I need?... but it's more a leveling ground book than something for any witch. Kinda like when you buy a plot of land to build on, you gotta check the ground before you buy it? I enjoyed it, but I'm not about to confidently call myself a witch from one book that teaches me how to ground myself and get an awareness for the body two chapters after teaching me how to make my own body butter.

Last Song: Last night, I carefully curated my music tastes on my drive home. This was to make sure I had a solid song to throw on this list so y'all can see how my music taste slaps. This is not a jokey ha-ha, I really did this.

Because I really want people who haven't listened to Kuchizuke by BUCK-TICK to listen to Kuchizuke by BUCK-TICK. I'm linking the lyric version so y'all can get the bop as well as the english translation. The sing slaps. The song FUCKS. Yes, it's about vampires, but it's in my Body/Life playlist because it suits it best. Shiki's a big mood for what I'm writing. And also it just

?>....But just now when I went to YouTube to find it, I learned the OBC performed Way Down Hadestown on Good Morning America was on my feed. So I clicked it. And I listened to it IMMEDIATELY, which counts because it's a song, so. There goes that.. How does he behave when his emotions contradict each other>

Last Series: Taylor and I watched the first few episodes of the English dub Code:Realize anime just last night and as someone who's slogging through the visual novel, it's such a breath of fucking fresh air to see shit MOVING.

I don't care if I'm spoiled. This is just a nice funtime translation of a slow-paced VN with a lot of plot and a lot of talking and not a lot of romance for five fucking chapters. It's only a lot because the game is a lot and it only has 12 episodes to do it in but- bro.

Bro, they made Lupin really charming. He isn't offensive in-game, but his charm and likeability are super-buried in the beginning and you need to dig, so the anime gets the top-dirt off for you early-on, which is great for me. He looks so much better animated than he does in stills and his English voice is like f u ck i ng b u t t e r r r r . This is a nice guy to look at and pretty to listen to and his characterization is much more clear from the get-go, whereas in the game, it can take a while. His actual characterization as a romanceable Arsene Lupin - the way he talks, his capability, his sensibleness, his actual skills in theivery - are all things the game nails right away, but it's just elevated by being able to see these things in real-time and not just text-descriptions and stillshots.

....Bro, Impey's tolerable. His English VA did a fucking miracle and made him not a fucking cANCER. It's insane how much more palatable he is and how much better his characterization translates. Impey is intolerable for me in the game so far and I haven't even gotten onto the fucking train yet. His introduction sucked. His dialogue sucked. His inability to leave me alone sucked. How tone-deaf. How people-ignorant. How utterly annoying and overactive to the point of middle-school syndrome. And the anime just.... pulls his character into the light. When he moves, when he emotes, you can finally see he's... he's just goofy. He's not just some hyper, brainless annoying fuck, he's active and confident and a goofball. I could romance this version of Impey, it's just a much cleaner cultural translation of this ambitious, silly character with big dreams and - what's better conveyed as - a big heart.

My boy Fran is wonderful. My man Van is wonderful. Saint-G is wonderful. My girl Cardia is amazingly weird. They really nailed how frickin weird this chick is. The way she talks and speaks are so weird and it works for his weird she is. Cardia is a really fun MC for an otome VN because she has a really distinct character and to see that really shine through as a story conveyed, instead of a story I'm part of, is so much fun. Her design gives her this ethereal, out-of-touch, oddness, like a monster could be. Her voice acting is spot-on, just what a good translation of a good character.

I'm not trying to review the anime, I swear, I'm just so fucking happy about the changes to the two weakest characters in the game as well as the banger showcasing of my favorite otome MC, Cardia's amazing. It's definitely an anime for people playing/already played the game, i feel like if you didn't it would just be a lot, so I'm really excited and feeling pandered to and I LOVE IT.

Last Movie: ....Oh God, was it Primer?

... I couldn't have been Primer, but... no.

...No! It was - okay, Taylor's family and I re-watched What We Did In The Shadows! Okay! Yeah! Yeah, I knew we watched something after Primer it was - it was WWDITS, the original movie.

Sweet, Savory, or Spicy: All at once, next.

(tho, I do have a particularly bad sweet tooth...)

Craving: Breakfast. A nice full breakfast. Hard to get full breakfast sometimes, cuz it's a lot of physical work at home, but going out relies on people having turkey or chicken bacon, which is surprisingly less likely than one would think. I've got three restaurants I like for breakfast and only one of them keeps it on hand.

OH! And a nice tea. A nice oolong. I had a Dark Pearl oolong yesterday and god it was so rich and dark... I might want a Tung Ting today, something lighter... or maybe a milk oolong. I usually like the Jin Xuan milk oolong, but that's actually not available anymore, I heard climate change fucked up it's production.

Actually, no, a dark one would be best right now, especially if I'm gunna be shopping and writing today. And maybe cleaning.... maybe I will get that Dark Pearl again....

Currently working on: .....

......

...........

Gimmie a second. Gotta rummage through my room.

So, these?

These are the character sheets I'm doing for Bakura and Ryou.

I want to write more within my Body for Body, Life For Life AU and I have a lot of ideas for it. I've got a lot written out for it too - but no consistant characterization.

So, to help me with this, Taylor gave me the list of questions he uses for his characters for his own characters, so. In order for me to really feel comfortable with the two of them, filling this out has been a HUGE help.

You can see I've got Canon interpretations in there as well. This is because if I'm going to be writing AU's, then it's important, in my opinion, to know what you're working with from the canon. This way I understand what will be changed and why it's changed. Plus, to write canon stuff, this is good to have on hand.

I clearly worked on Bakura's first, his canon characterization is actually more consistent than Ryou, which means I can identify the different reasons and results that would establish his characterization in similar ways. He doesn't have the Ring backstory in a demon Au, obviously, so what factors establish his behavior, way of speaking, reactions, beliefs, and so any of those reasonably change while keeping to the same character?

Ryou is particularly... both freeing and difficult to work with due to how KT doesn't know what to do with him in canon. His relationship with Bakura is never explored in the manga or anime. His actions and emotions need fan interpretation to make sense to a person and that can vary a lot. You could probably disagree already with stuff I wrote, or will write in the future. And in fact, for other stuff I'm writing for him, I'm already writing him in different ways depending on what I'm doing. Ryou can be really fun and freeing to write because you can feasibly write him in a lot of different ways, but this can also make it really difficult to keep consistent, or worse, could damage the writing's tone.

In regards to Body/Life, I need to find a nice balance between Ryou wanting to marry Bakura, being in love with Bakura, and being suspicious of him. Ryou is, by contradiction, rather naïve and rather keen. He's been through a lot of shit that could traumatize a person and may have traumatized him, but he's not unsubscribing himself from it. I need to work through his characterization to understand why he wants to marry Bakura, why he loves this demon, why all of this is acceptable, and why the issue with the marriage is one he can accept or breeze off.

I need a balance for Bakura to both care for this person, need to use him like an object, and blur the line in-between so it reads like it could go either way. I need to be very careful with how I write his language, because I established that language is important to demons, and keep it consistent with Bakura being an in-canon rude prick. I need to understand what he wants, why he wants it, and where Ryou falls on that scale.

And I need to convince my readers that these two belong together.

And once I finish these sheets - I can throw out everything I've fucking written and start all. Over. AgaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

#me tag #fanfic is suffering #pain peko #do I reccomend Shiki? #Kinda? #not for characters - but for the thriller aspect for sure

[buckyscrystalqueen]

The Resistant Omega: Part 5

Pairings: Omega!Mickey Milkovich x Male Alpha!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, smut

Word Count: 3,506

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 /  Part 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Alpha…” Mickey cooed as he stood in your room, watching you hobble around a little awkwardly in just your new walking boot and a pair of boxer briefs. “What are you doing?”

“Get dressed.” You said as you grabbed a light blue, short sleeve button down, and a dark grey vest from your closet and tossed them over to the bed. “We’re going out.”

“Umm… no.” He said as he picked up your clothes to hang them up. “You just got your cast off…”

“Which is why we’re going out.” You said as you pulled the hangers out of his hands and tossed them back on the bed. “Get dressed, Mickey.” He sighed but didn’t move as you grabbed a nicer pair of jeans and a single sneaker and turned to get ready. You stopped in front of him and gave him a rough, chaste kiss, which simply made him huff at you.

“You’re gunna make me be the asshole here, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m just gunna leave you at home.” You looked up at him as you sat down on your bed and started to take off your boot so that you could get your jeans on and shook your head. “You can try your damnedest to fight it, Omega, but we’re going out. You can go kicking and screaming or willingly. I’m indifferent there. But we are going to have a good time.”

“Weren’t you the one just last night complaining about how your leg hurt?” He asked as he grabbed a black button down from the closet.

“That was yesterday.” He hummed at you and nodded, disbelievingly as he too grabbed a nicer pair of jeans you had bought him and a pair of Chuck Taylors and came over to get ready as well.

“So you have zero pain…”

“Omega!” You growled as you pulled your jeans down over your boot, harshly. “Drop it, damn it! I get it, you’re worried, but I am fine. We’re just gunna go and have a few drinks and just get out of this damn house for a couple hours. So stop worrying, get dressed, and let’s fucking go.” With a heavy eye roll, he pulled on his jeans and grabbed an undershirt from his drawer. He surprisingly stayed silent as you both finished getting ready and for the entire cab ride to the club, but the second he saw the bar you chose, he scowled.

“You think I’m goin’ to a fucking gay bar?” He asked as you paid and tipped the driver.

“You can do whatever the fuck you wanna do, Mick.” You said as you pushed open the door and got out of the car. “I’m going out for a drink.”

“You are such a fucking pain in the ass.” He grumbled as you headed straight to the door instead of stopping at the end of the line like the rest of the guys waiting to get it. With a nod to the bouncer, who was a long time friend, you walked through the red rope into the Fairy Tale. With every slightly limped step you took, the music rattled your bones in a way that you honestly missed but would get on your nerves within a couple hours for sure. You headed over to a section of leather couch that was open and sat down with a sigh as Mickey looked around with a slightly distasteful look and grabbed a seat next to you. 

“My baby!” A handsome, Beta waiter in a pair of tiny gold shorts named Tommy cooed as he sat down on the small stage in front of you. “Long time no see!”

“Been a little tied up.” You said as you pointed to your foot. “Car accident.”

“Well that was silly!” He giggled as he brushed his fingertips across your arm. “You shouldn’t do that! What can I get you?”

“Whiskey double, neat, and he’ll take a Miller lite.” Tommy nodded at you and shot you a wink as you handed him a twenty from your pocket and leaned back against the sofa.

“The fuck is that?” Mickey asked the moment he was out of ear shot.

“That was me ordering drinks…”

“And what, eye fucking the waiter is necessary?” You couldn’t help but laugh as you laid your arm on the back of the couch on top of his. You grabbed and held on to it faster than he could pull away and shook your head.

“Omega…”

“Don’t.” He barked under his breath as he glanced at a couple guys as they walked past.

“No, you don’t.” You snapped as you sat up a bit more and turned toward him. “Mickey, do you love me?” He sighed and rolled his eyes again.

“Shut up…”

“Do you?” You repeated as you put your other hand on his knee. “Baby boy… what are you doing to me right now, huh? Because if you’re not gunna act like my fucking partner, I’m sure there are dozens of twinks in here…” Your startled the slightest bit when he lunged across the small space and kissed you before pulling away nearly as quickly to search your eyes.

“Why do you fucking say that shit?” He nearly breathed as he subtly turned his arm under yours to have any sort of physical contact with you at that moment.

“Because what kind of Alpha would I be if I didn’t push you just a little bit out of your comfort zone to become the most true version of you that you could be?” You reached up and brushed your thumb across his jaw before letting your hand drop to your lap with a shake of your head. “Mickey, I have a lot of shit to dig through with you and I know if I don’t push you, we’re just gunna be holed up in my house for the rest of our lives. And excuse me for wanting the world to see my gorgeous, pain in my ass baby boy…”

“Fuck off.” He huffed with a small smirk as he turned toward the waiter to grab his drink. “Fuck you lookin’ at?”

“Ignore him.” You sighed as you grabbed your drink with a tight lipped smile before you pushed Tommy’s hand and your change away from you. “Keep it. Thanks.” Tommy nodded his head and pocketed his tip before almost literally skipping away to wait on someone else with an unfazed smile on his face. “You need to be nice.” You chuckled as you turned your attention to your Omega while you slowly brushed your thumb across the crook of his arm. “You’re the only man in here that gets to go home with me, remember that.”

“Yea, well the rest’a them better keep their hands and eyeballs to themselves up in this bitch.” He muttered before taking a long pull of his beer, which made you finally get to the point where you rolled your eyes.

“Such a hard ass, ‘mega.” You teased as you took a sip of your drink. “Can you relax for me, baby boy?”

“It’s not that fuckin’ easy.”

“I know.” You said with a nod as you scooted just a little bit closer to him and propped your boot up on the stage. “But you’ve already taken a huge step just coming in here. And I know no one in this fucker is gunna judge you for loving who you love. It’s the second best safe space in the world next to my house to be yourself.”

“You don’t get it, (Y/N).” He sighed as he bent his arm on the back of the couch to rub his jaw nervously. “You don’t fucking get it.”

“No, I could never completely get it.” You agreed as you rubbed his elbow with your thumb. “But I will be here all the fucking same. And I will love you no matter what anyone else in the world thinks. Because you are my Omega, Mickey. All mine.”

“I hate it when you get all weepy and sappy with your fucking rom-com bullshit…”

“Fuck off, you love it!” You laughed as you threw back your drink and looked around the bar.

“You think so.” He joked with a shit eating grin. “I honestly just throw up in my mouth.”

“I honestly feel like you’re just asking to get tied up to the bed so I can fuck the rude outta you again.” You could see the shiver race down his spine and your smile grew as you flagged down a waiter for another whiskey. “Yea, that’s what I thought.”

“Fuck, I hate when you do that shit, too.” He grumbled beside you as he shifted his seat beside you so that he was even closer to you and so that his starting erection was hidden while you ordered and paid for another round.

“I know you do, baby boy. But that’s why it is so much fun.”

——

“What? What?” You shouted when Mickey came running around the corner into the bathroom while you were getting ready for bed that night. He shook his head and barely made it to the toilet before he threw up violently. “Fuck. OK. OK, just get it out.” You cooed as you awkwardly got down on the floor beside him. You started to rub his back and startled again when you felt how hot he was. “Jesus, Mickey. You’re burning up.”

“Feel… death…” You nodded and kept rubbing his back as he started to throw up again. 

“Shit, baby boy… Just stay here for a second…”

“No, Alpha, please.” Mickey begged as he scrambled to try and grab your arm.

“Hey… I’m just gunna go grab my phone, Omega. That’s all. Just gunna call a doctor because I don’t know shit about being sick. I’m coming right back.” He let out a long whine and barely nodded his head before he was getting sick again, and you scrambled to your feet and down the hall to your room as fast as your booted foot would allow you to go.

“Fuck do you want? It’s three in the…”

“I need your Omega.” You snapped as you headed back into the bathroom. “Something’s wrong with Mickey.” You heard a slight scuffle through the speaker as you sat back down on the floor and started rubbing your Omega’s back again.

“(Y/N)?” Tara asked hesitantly. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. We went out to the Fairy Tale and he was fine, but when I was getting ready for bed, he came running in and started getting sick. He’s fucking burning up…”

“OK.” The doc said as calmly as she could. “Um… Is his heat due soon?”

“He’s on suppressants.” You said with a shake of your head as you pulled Mickey into your lap. “So no.”

“Oh, shit. Alright, I’m gunna come over and take a look at him. I need you to get him into a cold shower to try to bring the fever down because if he’s on suppressants and living with you, my first guess is this is his genetics fighting the chemicals he’s putting in his body. Advil and Tylenol won’t work here.”

“Doors locked, key’s in its usual spot. We’re in the upstairs bathroom. Alright, here, here, here.” You said quickly as you threw your phone across the room and helped Mickey off your lap to be sick again. “I’m gunna fix this baby boy. I swear.”

“Alpha.” He groaned as you yanked on your boot cover.

“I know, baby. Come here, let’s stand up for a minute.” You were glad you were stronger than he was because he was completely dead weight when you went to get him in the shower to cool him down. You lowered him down to the floor in your lap and cradled him in your arms as he curled into your chest.

“Alpha… everything hurts.”

“I know, sweetheart.” You breathed as you pulled off the wife beater he slept in and tossed it in the corner of the shower stall. “Tara’s gunna come and make it all better, I promise.” With a nod of his head, he lurched forward and got sick all over your arm, side, and leg, and you simply nodded and kept rubbing his back. “Just let it out, baby boy. Let it all out.” He nodded his head and fell into your chest again as you pushed the hose of the shower up and quickly caught the shower head before it hit the pair of you. 

You washed your side off and did everything you could to cool your boyfriend off, but with every passing moment, you got a little more frantic because the cold water wasn’t working. Every single pathetic whine he made ripped through your heart like a knife, and you had to admit that you were grateful when he passed out even if it did scare you even more. Your heart started to race in your chest when Mickey started to shake, and you looked up at Tara and Jax desperately when they finally stepped into your bathroom.

“Help him.” You practically begged as you moved the shower head out of the way.

“Jax, take him…”

“No!” You snarled as you quickly curled your body around your Omega when Tara turned off the shower so she and her Alpha wouldn’t get wet. Jax took one look at your nearly feral glare and quickly pulled Tara behind his back and away from you, protectively.

“(Y/N)… I’m not gunna take him anywhere.” Jax said evenly as he crouched down in front of you so he came off less threatening to your Omega. “I’m going to carry him to your room so that Tara can take care of him. She can’t do that in the shower and you can’t carry him with your foot.” You searched his eyes for a moment before letting your legs slide out a little straighter. “Tara, grab towels and lay them out…”

“On my side.” You growled as you pushed yourself up. “Left side of the bed.” She nodded her head and scrambled to get the towels laid out as you grabbed one for yourself from the shelf. You tossed your wet boxers back in the shower and threw on a pair of gym shorts from your dresser before grabbing a clean pair of boxers and a pair of shorts for Mickey. You barely heard Tara tell Jax what she needed him to get for her from wherever he could as you climbed up on the bed beside the love of your life.

“Here, let me help.” Tara said softly as you used your towel to try to dry Mickey off before you got him dressed.

“Is he gunna be OK?”

“I’m gunna do everything I can. But he’ll need you more than anything I can give him.” You nodded your head, absentmindedly and covered his lap with a towel to change his boxers.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

——

Guilt was not a feeling you were really familiar with. You didn’t feel it when you stole, or when you murdered. You didn’t feel it when you beat that one punk within an inch of life for scratching your truck, nor when you broke your first heart or every heart after that. But the guilt of listening to your Omega whine in his sleep because of those fucking suppressants he was on that you gave him and allowed him to continue taking was absolutely killing you. You wanted so badly to take the pain of his twisted, half heat away, to claim it as your own so he didn’t have to live through it for another minute more.

“Alpha…” Mickey’s pain filled voice shook you out of your angered thoughts and you lurched down the bed to lay down in front of him.

“I’m here, baby boy.” You cooed as you gently laid your hand on his hot cheek and smiled weakly at his gorgeous blue eyes.

“M’cold.”

“OK, I can fix that.” You quickly rolled onto your back and grabbed the remotes to the two stand alone fans Daryl had brought over for you to try to keep Mickey’s core temp down. You turned the fans down to a lower setting and quickly grabbed the blankets you had stacked up on the far side of the bed in case he got cold. “Here we go. Get you nice and toasty warm.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What the fuck would you be sorry for, Omega?” You huffed as you tucked the blankets in behind his back.

“Threw up… on your leg.” You couldn’t help but smile as you pulled him into your chest and started rubbing his back to get him warmed up, despite the fact that he still felt fire hot.

“Yea, well I’ll look the other way this time, ‘mega. Just this once. Just remember, I still owe you a broken nose.” A small smile stretched across his face as he buried his face in your throat and breathed deeply.

“Hope I don’t die first.”

“You’re not gunna die, Omega. We’re both gunna lay right here all week long, and we’re gunna suffer through this together same way you suffered with me through my leg. We are in this together, Omega. You and me.” He purred at the thought and snuggled even closer to you.

“Fuck… why do you smell so good?” He asked as he turned his nose more into your neck and inhaled deeply.

“Easy, Omega. Doc said you can’t get all worked up.”

“M’not.”

“Mmhmm.” You countered with a nod as you tilted your jaw the slightest bit to give him a little more room. Your jaw dropped a half an inch when he nipped at your throat, and a low growl rolled from your chest. “Omega…” You actually jumped when he ripped away from you and scrambled to try to get out of the blankets, and you had less than a second to spare to grab the trash can for him to get sick in when he couldn’t get the blankets free. “Shit, baby boy. You can’t get worked up this heat. Those fucking suppressants are seriously fucking with you…”

“Fuck…” He groaned as he tried to push the blankets off his feet. “Fuck this shit…”

“We’re gunna make it through this, baby boy. I promise.” You said as you turned the fans back up because he had started to sweat again.

“Just fucking kill me.” He mumbled as he set the trash can down and fell back against the headboard.

“We’re gunna make it through this.” You breathed as you got up to grab him a pain killer and clean out the trash can. “Take this and smoke a joint. We’re gunna make it through this shit and then we’re having a serious fucking talk about those pills.”

#Omega!Mickey Milkovich x Male Alpha!Reader #mickey milkovich x reader #Mickey Milkovich x Male Reader #The Resistant Omega

[plutoandmoon]

Planet Her / Doja Cat

Planet Her is Doja Cat’s third album in her work. This album was released in the summer of 2021. It features various artists from SZA, The Weeknd, JID, Gunna, and Ariana Grande.

Woman being the first song on Doja Cat’s new album represents the theme and vibe of this 2021 release. The influence of a Caribbean type of beat showcases Doja’s artistic skills as a producer as well. I love Doja’s style of rapping. It is a very unique and distinct style.

Love the way Doja has a play with words in her verses especially in Naked. Really love it omg.

Was not expecting Payday to began like that but it reminded me of a Legend of Zelda song, which is really cool. Personally, I think Payday is one of her weakest songs, however, Young Thug’s feature helps the song greatly. He adds his own twist on the song which gives it a nice breath of air. Payday sounds like a mediocre mainstream pop song. It doesn’t showcase Doja Cat’s style greatly. Feels very limited.

Get Into It (Yuh) reminds me of Playboi Carti and I think it is the way Doja Cat raps similar to his style. Love the “Thank you, Nicki” part!

Definitely vibing to Need To Know. It is not like Doja Cat’s typical upbeat and mainstream songs. It feels more heavier and serious with the aggressive beat and verses. The 808s definitely carry the song and so does Doja’s vocals/verse. This song is one of the many that showcases her talents that she is known for today. 

I Don’t Do Drugs is a really nice song. I love Ariana Grande being featured here because her vocals fit perfectly for this song. I also really enjoy the use of arpeggios here! You don’t hear much of that in a lot of modern songs with vocals!

Love to Dream is a SUCH a nice song. Showcases Doja’s vocals and I really think she needs more songs like this. It is such a laidback vibe and it’s sweet. Personally, one of Doja’s memorable songs on this album.

I LOVE THE WEEKND’S VERSE AND FEATURE ON YOU RIGHT SO MUCH. THANK YOU FOR THIS COLLABORATION. His verse should had been so much longer oh my god. Actually You Right the extended version is SOOOO much better. One of the best songs on this album. I love the sexual ness of this song. “A couple strokes to put it in, then you’ll belong to me”. HELLO ABELLLLL 🙄 Thank you so much for this masterpiece.

Been Like This gives me the same vibes as Streets. It is so seductive and naughty. Doja really knows how to capture those NSFW moods with her vocals, lyrics, and production. What a sex god.

Ain’t Shit is such a vibe. I can definitely see myself blasting this song with a group of friends in the car or on the beach. Just another great song that displays Doja’s genius. It is incredibly catchy with the chorus and the verses. It is something everyone can sing along and relate to (with exclusion of the n word though).

Alone is such a personal song especially coming from Doja Cat. As listeners, we are allowed into an aspect of her life as she shares with us that she is enjoying her time alone after leaving a relationship with her former lover. She addresses the issues in their relationship, the breakup from her pov, and how she is reflecting on her past actions.

Kiss Me More is simply iconic. A perfect summer song and the best feature on this album, SZA, besides The Weeknd.

The beat for Up and Down really is up and down LMAO. I LOVE HOW DOJA REALLY IS BEING UP AND DOWN IN THIS SONG WITH THE PRODUCTION AND VOCALS. Love the 808 so much in this song.

Personally, the album could had ended with You Right - Extended instead of Why Why. To wrap up, I believe this is not Doja’s strongest album yet it does showcase a new style of hers. The album is more sensual with the beats, vocals, features, and verses. Doja’s features could have had longer verses. However, I am looking forward to more of Doja’s work as we can see she is constantly progressing and improving as an artist! Some honorable mentions are Woman, Need to Know, Love To Dream, You Right, Been Like This, Kiss Me More, and Ain’t Shit.

#music review #music blog #new music #music #doja #dojacat #planet her #album release #albums #pop music #pop culture

[kunoichi-ume]

Catch up Game

I was tagged by @cinlat a bit ago so let’s see what’s going on.

Last song: Um... god it would be whatever was on the radio yesterday unless Tiktok songs count? I know Monsters by All Time Low played while I was out yesterday.

Last movie: Black Widow, we started Tomorrow War or whatever it was called but got distracted and didn’t go back to it.

Currently reading: Mine to Protect by Kennedy L. Mitchell, got it through Kindle Unlimited but yesterday I read Lets Taco ‘Bout Love and Claimed by the Mountain Man. I got like 30 new ebooks in a massive sale the other day, as in the ebook versions were free for 24 hours and I took advantage. I am at 267 books read this year but I don’t think I’ll manage to top my total for last year of 473. I really wanted to but the start of this year was stupid chaotic. (and I forgot that technically I could count all the kids books I read at storytime).

Currently watching: Rewatching One Piece and loving the nostalgia, always watching wrestling, and my Youtube obession at the moment is SORTED food videos... I enjoy their silly competitions and hell the eggs I made the other day were better for a trick they taught me. 

Currently craving: Would it be wrong to say coffee when I have a mug of it next to me. I was craving it so I made it. Peppermint mocha creamer, a dollap of cool whip, a favorite Halloween mug? I love it.

I’ve see this one around a lot and haven’t a clue who has done it so I’m gunna cop out and say that if you havent, or even have done this cause answers like this change, and want to play please do!

#A

[chloe-clegane]

Rayllum Birthday Bash - Travel: It was a very stressful situation

Ok! Posting this.... basically right at midnight... ADHD time management skills activate- oh whoops forgot to put in the batteries...

Some more good humored smut for your enjoyment ;)  (see the read more)

--------------------------

Callum and Rayla were making their way through Del Bar, riding on the long road to the city of Serpentongue. Around five o’clock, they reached an inn. Rayla thought they should stop and stay for the night, that the storm clouds were sweeping in and it would be better to lose a few hours of daylight and sleep in a bed, than to go out and risk shivering in the rain. Callum pointed out on the map that there was another inn not much further away and that his connection to the sky arcanum told him the storm wouldn't reach them. Generally Rayla trusted his magic, so she reluctantly agreed.

Cold in the rain was what they were. The storm direction had unfortunately changed, and at the halfway point to the next inn, it began raining in torrents around them. They had no real choice but to keep going and make it to shelter. Initially Rayla was annoyed, but was looked forward to the hot bath and warm bed that laid ahead of them. But when they were mere miles from the next inn, they found that the heavy rain had flooded and completely blocked the road.

First Callum had tried to block the river of water with ice but it simply diverted it and had knocked Rayla off her feet. Which resulted in some very foul language on her part. Second she proposed that he simply fly them over it, he pointed out that would not include the horses and Rayla has to  concede. If they left the poor creatures alone and frightened in a thunderstorm, they could get loose, hurt themselves or worse. Next Rayla suggested Callum fly her over, she could tie and hold a line, and then he could then guide the horses over. He pointed out that he couldn’t manage two horses, that they would need to do it together. She refused, for the obvious reason that rushing water was terrifying. Callum didn’t think that was fair to make him do all the work, and without her it was completely impractical. 

As they bickered, Callum attempted to hold a magic sky bubble up above them. But every time he got frustrated and lost focus, a sheet of cold water would crashed down on their heads. So the previous idea was discarded as well as the next three. Eventually the argument was simply where to take shelter, which became another struggle of wills

Callum explained he had seen some dense trees not too far back. They would shield them from the wind and rain and keep them close to the road. Rayla told him that was a terrible idea because they could still end up flooded. He argued that this is the real world and you can’t always find some conveniently located cave everywhere you go so she was being unrealistic. Rayla won out on that one. It was a bit of a trek off the road but she found a rocky overhang that was elevated enough to be considered high ground. Callum not so passive-aggressively pointed out it still wasn’t a cave.

After trying for a considerable amount of time, Rayla had given up on lighting a fire on the damp mossy ground. She was shivering in the tent with her knees pulled to her chest and left a no man’s land between her and Callum. She was cold and grumpy and mourning the comfortable evening she could've been having. 

“You know, I really couldn't have known-” Callum started.

“No,” she interrupted and held a hand out to silence him. 

“Well, I just don’t think it-” he was apologetic but she cut him off again anyways.

“Don't. Just don’t. Callum, I’m mad at you, and nothin’ yer gunna say right now is goin’ tae change that. You just had to insist this road and that pathway and skipping this this to get us there faster,” she said the last part in a more mocking version of her human voice.

“Ok, ok…” he waited a beat and she shivered. “I really am sorry Rayla. Can I at least hold you and keep you warm?” 

She was resolute, she would stay mad... but she couldn’t help thing, he would be warm, she would be cozy. Her angry scrunched face faltered. “Fine.”

Callum smiled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and wrapped the blanket around them both. Rayla continued to scowl even as the feeling returned to her cold fingers.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Callum rested his chin on one of her horns.

“Would stoppin’ fer a break really have been so terrible?” she muttered.

He sighed, “No, it wouldn’t have. I’m sorry we didn’t just stayed where we were.” 

“You said you didn’t sense the storm coming,” she exhaled letting some of her petulant anger leave with it, “It’s not exactly fair of me tae hold acts of nature against you,” she was reluctantly reasonable. “So I guesss I don’ hate you.”

“Well thanks for that. I would hate it if you hated me,” he kissed her head and chuckled. “I think we can both agree this has been a very stressful situation.” 

“Yeah, whatever,” she rolled her eyes but smiled.

She was twisted in his arms with her ear on his chest and it was getting uncomfortable. Rayla re-settled herself to sit facing forward and lean her head back on his shoulder, as to avoid poking him in the eye. While she did that she brushed against him and realized something started hardening against her back side. 

“Callum...” she sighed, “Is that yer pecker I’m feelin’?”

“Psh wha…? Maybe…” he confessed.

She groaned. “Right now? Really?”

“Hey, you know I can’t fully control these things, maybe if you weren’t so beautiful and amazing this wouldn’t happen,” he shrugged sarcastically. 

“Mmmmhmmm,” Rayla rolled her eyes and they sat quietly for a few more beats until she started to shiver again.

“You know… there’s a better way to stay really warm.” 

Rayla had to admit to herself, she had intended to coax him into her bath and to take him for herself in the bed at that inn. The excitement hadn’t entirely gone away. But no. She was still cross with him. Nope, stop it, she scolded herself.

She leaned back and ground against him, she felt his breathing hitch and she knew he was grinning. Rayla shifted her hips again and he hummed, and again. He was harder now, stiffened into what she knew was a fully erection. He kissed her neck and she pressed herself harder this time. 

He reached around her and brushed lightly between the legs she shivered.

“This ok?” he muttered against her neck.

“Yeeeeaaah it’s ok,” she sighed and nuzzled against him.

After a few she more grinds against him and and gentle fondles above her clothing, they both moaned softly. Then he very deliberately rubbed his fingers along her folds. Even above her clothes he was able to rub between them. 

He did it again and it built radiating need between her legs. She ground against him again but it became more of an uncontrolled jerk. 

“Callum,” she whined.

“Callum what?” he asked and he knew he was smirking. Sometimes he could be so cocky when he knew he was rendering her helpless. He wanted her to say it. 

“Don’t tease, touch me,” she moaned.

She could feel him smiling against her shoulder as he fiddled with her clothing. His hand was in her panties touching her bare skin and a whiny hum escaped her lips. He ran his finger along her like he’d done before, but this time he’d barely parted the folds when his finger slipped right in between them. His light teasing touches had left her wet and slick. He chuckled. She was feeling too nice to want to sass him. He touched her, rubbing the inner folds and circling around her opening before dipping his fingers into the wet slippery depths. She was humming and had completely forgotten about grinding against him. Occasionally, he pushed her to him and rolled his own hips. Then he moved his attention up to the ready little bundle of nerves and she inhaled sharply. After a few strokes and gasps, she felt the hot longing throb in her belly and down her legs. She knew what she wanted. 

“Could you, er, I was-“ Rayla stuttered.

“What do you want?” he asked sweetly against her neck before placing a few more languid kisses along her shoulder. “It’s okay, I want to know.” 

She felt herself shutter at his words. It was so mushy and stupid that sometimes it was his words and his tenderness alone that could make her melt. 

“Please, Rayla,” he rubbed circles around her opening and she hummed.

“Your mouth, I-I want you to use your mouth.” The last word was a soft gasp and he chuckled softly in response. 

“I’d love to,” he breathed and kissed her neck a few more times. She loved when he did that.

Rayla moved to get up and reposition, but he stopped her. “I’ll move, you just… relax.” He scooted himself out from behind her. He, bless his human heart, tried to smoothly move around her. Instead, he stumbled clumsily and knocked into her. Rayla giggled. 

“Sorry, agh, sorry,” he mumbled. “That was supposed to be sexy.” Rayla reached for his face, kissed him and brushed the hair from his eyes.

“Still sexy to me. Dorky, but also sexy,” she kissed him again. Slipping her tongue into his mouth and rolling it round with his, staying like that for a moment as she slid her hands down his chest and quickly unbuttoned his pants.

He pulled away. “Wait, I want to, you know, you first,” he smiled and his emerald green eyes made her weak. But she chuckled.

“I can still undress ye can’t I?” She smirked. 

“Hmmmm, I’ll allow it… this time,” his eyes narrowed in unconvincing seriousness before winking.

The couple giggled, kissed and fondled as they undressed each other. Rayla was impressed by the warmth they radiated together. She no longer felt the cold and the wet that lingered outside the tent, just the soft, salacious warmth of his skin on hers. The intimate caresses and passionate kisses were simmering her insides and filling her with need. When he pulled away she wanted to reach for him but he gently rolled to the side and he gently guided her down and back onto the pillow. Callum kissed her lips one more time before he started to trail them down. Callum pulled the blanket over himself and kissed down her stomach. With anticipation, the simmer became a throb between her legs. 

Then he licked her. 

He licked her and she cried out loud and involuntarily. A little too loudly. Red-faced Rayla slapped her hand over her mouth.

“Wow already?” Callum laughed, muffled under the blanket. 

“Shut up,” she groaned from beneath her hand and could feel the heat of the blush across her face.

He flipped up the blanket enough to look at her and gently stroked one of her legs. “I love you Rayla,” he smiled and sweetly kissed her inner thigh. His stupidly cute face turned her into chocolate that had been left in the sun too long. 

“For the record I like when you’re loud,” then he nuzzled his cheek against the inside of her thigh. How can he be this cute? She loved him and she needed the talking to stop. 

“Don’t feel like you can’t-“ he was encouraging, but she interrupted.

“I love you too Callum and I’ll be as loud as ye want just pleeeaase stop stopping and put yer mouth on mah cunny!” It was a plea and an order. It left her lips impulsively and Rayla smacked both hands on her face when she realized what she’d said. 

But before she could curl up into embarrassment Callum said simply, “Yes ma’am,” and immediately plunged his mouth into her with no hesitation. 

Rayla gasped and gripped the blanket beneath them. The sudden sensation left her reeling. Callum had gone to work licking around the inner folds of her labia and flicking her clitoris. Rayla was moaning as tension and heat built in her core igniting her body and forming beads of sweat on her brow. He drew circles around her opening before shifting back to her clitoris, sucking gently this time. 

For such a clumsy human, he had an incredibly nimble tongue. Rayla wound her fingers in his hair as her legs began to twitch. Her low humming turned into panting gasps. “Callum, oh oh...” 

He flicked faster and the tension released sending waves of heat down into her limbs. She cried out, the sound was gasping and guttural and it emptied her lungs. 

Rayla layed there, panting. Callum kissed a trail all the way back up to her neck and forehead as she tried to catch her breath. 

“I love you,” she said in a breathy chuckle. He had laid down and reached for his discarded shirt and wiped his mouth with it. “I love you too,” he kissed her on the lips this time. “You know, I couldn’t tell if you enjoyed that, was that okay?” he smirked and she jabbed him in the ribs playfully tickling him. He giggled and snort-laughed before pulling her part way onto his chest. 

“I guuuueeeeess it was okay,” Rayla smirked.  

“You know, you really are cute when you’re loud,” grinning as he blooped her nose.

She giggled and buried her face and replied with an mmhmm before leaving lazy kisses on his chest. He held her close, intimately and steadfast as she laid there quietly drawing circles across his skin with her fingertips. Rayla basked in the afterglow of her orgasm as his fingers combed through her hair. There was a sense of calm serenity within the walls of their tent, somehow silencing the tempest outside it. 

Eventually Rayla broke the silence, “Hey, Callum?” 

“Yeah?” he replied sweetly as he ran his fingers through her hair.

“I was just thinkin’, couldn’t you have just used the air bubble water deverty thingy you used on the rain... on the ground, and we could’ve just walked through the river?” she asked in genuine curiosity.

This time it was Callum who smacked his forehead and howled his frustration into the night. “Aaaghh.”

“It was a stressful situation,” she repeated his earlier sentiment with a sigh and  a supportive pat pat on his chest.

#rayllum birthday bash #Rayllum #tdp #My Writing #Callum #Rayla #Rayllum Smut #smut #stressful things are stressful #Callum in a giving lover #This is a core headcanon #I need to learn to write faster

[spidercakes]

Have the finally finished full version of that  ABO high school cheerleader Peter and punk Tony AU I posed the other day! Think I might make this into a series of their sexcapades but we’ll see.

Warnings: smut, mentions of abusive relationships, abo, first time (not that that’s terribly relevant).

*

Peter thinks people might think they’re mismatched, him and Tony. Probably because he’s a cheerleader and Tony has his um... well, some type of eighties thing going on. Big fan of the era and its reflected in pretty much everything he does but Peter likes that about him. Sure Tony is a little over dramatic, and he thinks Tony’s obsession with AC/DC is a bit ridiculous, and the eyeliner is... hot, actually. And Peter knows he has kind of a thing for pink even if he’s stuck in his red cheerleading uniform a lot, and he’s blonde, and basically looks like a priss who wouldn’t be caught dead around Tony and his bad smoking habit but he kind of loves him, bad smoking habit and all.

He leans forward and kisses Tony soft and slow, smiling a little when his hands drift downward just a little too far to be acceptable. When he pulls away Tony nips at his bottom lip, “you look gorgeous today, baby,” he murmurs and Peter smiles wider.

“I didn’t even do anything,” he says, tucking his face into Tony’s neck.

Tony laughs, finger tips trailing up and down his back before his hands settle just a hair above his ass. “Since when have you had to do anything to look amazing?” he asks.

Well, according to his ex all the time but Tony isn’t anything like Quentin so he smiles softly. “For you? Nothing.”

“For everyone with functioning eyes, nothing. Shit, even Murdock thinks you’re cute and he’s blind,” Tony says.

Yeah, helps that they had a science project together and Peter didn’t assume blind meant stupid. Probably helped a lot in the ‘thinks he’s cute’ department. “Uh huh. You’re just biased,” Peter tells him because its true.

“Maybe, but I’m also objectively right. You gunna come over to my place after school?” he asks and Peter buzzes with excitement. He loves going to Tony’s, loves the way Tony touches him there, how gentle he is.

“‘Course I am,” Peter murmurs, leaning forward and kissing him again. “But I gotta go to practice though,” he says, frowning.

“Don’t frown baby, I’ll take care of you when you get home,” Tony tells him and he bites his lip softly at that. He likes the way Tony says that, when he gets home.

*

Fuck, Tony remembers the first time Peter let him do this, how nervous he was. His poor baby didn’t even know what it was like to have someone focus on his pleasure. Fucking Beck, Tony hopes a bird shits in his open mouth for that. And to think he was stupid enough to miss out on all this anyway. Only a total fucking dunce would want to miss out on Peter like this.

He loves the way Peter looks, head thrown back, beautiful curls in slight disarray, mouth open as he moans. “Baby, that’s it, fuck yourself on my fingers,” Tony tells him, expertly moving his hand with Peter’s hip movements. Peter bounces, curls shifting with him and fuck Tony would give up the world to see Peter like this every day. He’s still wearing his cheerleader uniform, built in underwear pushed to the side and that’s even hotter. Was never a thing for Tony until he saw how pretty Peter looked with his legs spread in that pretty pleated skirt of his. Fuck, he’d worn a plug that day too and Tony nearly creamed his fucking pants looking at him. He ate him out for almost an hour that day, until Peter was a sobbing, begging mess desperately pulling at his hair.

“Tony,” Peter says, whines almost. Tony curls his fingers a little, knowing exactly what his baby needs. “Oh fuck Tony, just like that,” Peter tells him, grip on Tony’s shoulders getting tighter.

“You gunna cum for me?” he asks, free hand moving to Peter’s hip to guide him some.

Peter lets out a soft whine. “I think so baby- oh, do that again,” Peter tells him as he curls his fingers.

He does as Peter asks, holding back a moan as Peter’s hips stutter in their rhythm. “Cum pretty for me, baby,” he murmurs and Peter nods somewhat frantically. “Fuck, that’s it gorgeous. Ride me faster,” he tells him. Peter whimpers, fingers curling tighter into Tony’s shirt. “S’okay baby, wanna see you cum for me,” Tony tells him.

Peter’s mouth drops open for a moment before he bites his lip, “Tony,” he says, voice low and soft.

“Come on baby, wanna see you cum,” Tony tells him, kissing him softly for encouragement. It works because it pushes Peter over the edge, resulting in him clinging almost desperately to tony as his hips rock forward. Soft gestures like that always work on Peter and Tony will never tire of the way Peter reacts to a kiss, or him brushing a curl away from his face. He’ll never tire of anything Peter does.

“Fuck Tony,” Peter moans, “that was... was really good,” he murmurs as Tony pulls his fingers out of Peter’s ass.

“Good,” Tony murmurs, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw. Peter lets out a soft moan and tilts his head to the side for Tony. It’s the first time he’s done that, at least like this, and Tony bites his lip to hold back a moan.

Peter’s hand on his crotch takes him by surprise, as does the hand Tony finds curled into his hair. “Don’t hold back on me,” Peter tells him. “I like it when you moan, when I know I make you feel good.”

He lets out a soft laugh that turns to a moan when Peter carefully massages him through his jeans. “Baby you always make me feel good,” he tells Peter, nosing at the underside of his jaw. Peter arches his back into him, fingers tightening in his hair as he guides Tony’s head downward some. Fuck, he can’t believe Peter is letting him do this. Some omegas don’t much care about scenting but plenty treat it as extra intimate, something to do with someone you actually care about. Usually Peter falls into that category not that Tony is about to complain about the change in heart.

He licks at the space between his collarbone and his neck, nosing at it softly and Peter moans. “You want me to claim you, baby?” he murmurs, expecting some kind of fantasy or something but Peter does him one better.

“Want you to fuck me too, then cum inside me and knot me,” he murmurs in Tony’s ear and his hips buck up into Peter’s hand involuntarily.

“You fucking serious?” he asks, pulling away a little to look at Peter.

Doesn’t work much, Peter pushes his face back into his neck and it’s not like he minds. “Been thinking about it for weeks,” Peter tells him. “Imagining how your cock will stretch me out, the way your knot will spread me open wide, how your teeth will feel in my neck. Been fucking myself with my dildo thinking of you,” he says and Tony’s back arches into Peter, hand settling over Peter’s at his crotch.

He guides Peter’s hand a little, “like that,” he murmurs to Peter. “Nice and slow, keep a tight grip and keep fucking talking like that.” Peter pulls his hand from Tony’s hair and leans back a little, smiling.

“What, you like that baby?” he asks, hand massaging him just perfect through his jeans.

Tony huffs, head tilted back. “Yeah I do gorgeous. Can’t get the image of you with a dildo out of my head,” he murmurs.

Peter smiles, wiggling a bit on his lap as his cheeks go a little red. “I could bring it tomorrow, show you what I do when you’re not around. Can watch me try and fuck myself like you would ‘till you can’t hold back anymore then fuck me yourself, show me what I’ve been missing,” Peter murmurs.

Tony swears, hand back over Peter’s as he bucks up into his hand again. “Fuck yeah, wanna see what you look like all flushed and pretty,” Tony tells him.

“Wanna come over tomorrow, stay the weekend so you can take your time. Like it when you do that,” Peter says. Tony moans, fingers curling tight over Peter’s as he cums. It earns a bright look of happiness from Peter anyway. “That’s the first time you let me make you cum,” he says, pleased with himself.

Yeah, because his shitty ex made sexual favours feel like transactions and Tony didn’t want that for Peter. Also he likes focusing on his partner anyway, he’s always had a thing for figuring out how things work and this happens to be the only area where people make any sense to him at all. “Is it?” he murmurs maybe because this sure shit isn’t the first time he’s gotten off to Peter somehow.

Peter nods, leaning in and kissing him softly. “Mhm. Should let me take care of you more often,” Peter murmurs as he noses at Tony’s neck.

He runs his hands up and down Peter’s back, “I should, hmm?” he says, head tilted to the side as Peter kisses his way down it.

“Yeah, you should,” Peter tells him. “You aren’t the only one who likes to make people feel good and I miss it. Feels like you’re doing all the work.”

Tony snorts, “baby, watching you cum will never be work to me.”

*

When Tony gets home he doesn’t expect Peter let alone Peter on his bed in lingerie. He grins, dropping his bag and walking over to his bed before pushing Peter onto his back and kissing him. Peter’s arms curl around his neck and his legs curl up to his sides. “Hey baby,” Tony murmurs, “didn’t expect to see you here till later.” He’s got cheerleading most days after school so its not like he figured he’d find Peter here for another couple hours.

Peter grabs one of Tony’s hands and places it between his legs, shifting his hips up into it. “Been thinking about this all day and I couldn’t wait anymore,” Peter murmurs. “Played sick to get here faster.”

He shivers, touching Peter softly through the lace panties he’s wearing. “Fuck, okay. Wasn’t totally sure you were serious about that,” he says. Peter happens to be a known prude not that he’s ever really lived up to that to Tony but given Beck’s propensity to turn anything he doesn’t like into some kind of personal slight against him he’s not shocked Peter got caught in the crossfire. But he has held out on sex and Tony’s fine with that, really, Peter moving at his own pace has never irritated him regardless of Peter’s worries about it.

Peter grins up at him, circling an arm around his neck and leaning up into him. “Wanna see how serious I am?” he murmurs in his ear. Tony shivers and nods, wondering what Peter got up to while he had the space temporarily to himself. He can feel that he got himself worked up quite a bit but he suspects that’s not what Peter’s talking about. “Take off my panties,” Peter tells him.

He swears softly and sits back some. “Got a surprise for me under there, hmm?” Tony asks and Peter nods, cheeks turning a little red. At least he isn’t embarrassed of his body anymore, Tony’s got no idea where that came from given the fact that he’s stupid hot though he has his suspicions. “You’re absolutely gorgeous,” he murmurs, running his hand down Peter’s side because he doesn’t tell him enough.

Peter smiles up at him, “I know,” he says, a hand settling over Tony’s at his hip.

Tony smiles back, happy that finally- finally- his compliments have sunken in. “So glad you finally agree with me,” he murmurs. He looks Peter back over, taking in the flowy red fabric and the slightly darker red panties and he can’t help the small moan he lets out. “Seriously baby, you’re something else.”

“Gunna take off my panties or not?” Peter murmurs, blinking up at him.

Hell yeah he is. “Lift your hips, gorgeous,” Tony tells him. Peter does as he’s asked and Tony pulls the panties off slowly, dragging them down his pale skin while he admires the view. He’ll never get tired of how beautiful Peter looks for him, how attractive he is. He tosses the panties aside and Peter spreads his legs for Tony, drawing a low whine that turns to an outright moan when he notices the plug.

“Remembered how much you liked that last time,” Peter tells him. “And I didn’t want to worry about foreplay.”

Tony looks Peter over, legs spread open for him in his favorite color and he bites his lip, head tilting back as he reaches down and cups himself through his jeans. He swears every time Peter can’t get better he does.

Peter lets out an annoyed huff and sits up, crawling over to Tony and smacking his hand away from his crotch. “Let me take care of you,” he murmurs, his hand replacing Tony’s. He lets out a soft moan as he feels Tony, “you’re so hard baby, so ready for me.”

Yeah, like that’s difficult with Peter sitting in his lap in lingerie ready to fuck him. “You really want this?” he murmurs, earning a small huff out of Peter.

He leans into Tony, nose brushing on the underside of his jaw. Tony shivers as Peter kisses him softly, tongue flicking out to trace his jawline. “When I woke up this morning I was already hard thinking about you, had to cum. Thought I’d be fine for school but I was so worked up, couldn’t stop thinking about you fucking me, how good you’d be, your knot. Came again before I went to school. Had to concentrate so hard to keep it together during school but then I got here and your room smells like you and-“ Peter shivers, moaning soft and low in Tony’s ear. “And fuck, baby I couldn’t hold back I had to cum again. So yeah, I really, really want this,” Peter tells him.

Tony sits there for a long moment without saying anything until Peter pulls back some. “You want this too, right?” he asks, a little concerned.

He lets out a soft laugh, “baby of course I want this, but I need a minute to recover from that if I want to last longer than an embarrassingly short amount time.”

Peter circles his arms around Tony’s neck and crawls into his lap properly, ass positioned just right as he shifts his hips into him. “I don’t need you to last long,” Peter tells him, nuzzling the space under his ear after he says it. “I need you to knot me.”

Fuck, Tony can only take so much before he breaks and Peter telling him to knot him is his limit. He quickly sheds the jacket he’s still wearing for some ungodly reason and Peter grins, happily helping him toss it aside before reaching for his shirt. Tony lets him pull it over his head and toss it aside. Peter wastes no time jumping to his belt, fingers curling around it as he fiddles with it for only a moment before he’s popping the button of Tony’s jeans open. “Want you inside of me,” Peter tells him, pouting.

Tony moans, “okay baby, lay back hmm? Gotta get out of these pants and get that plug out,” he murmurs.

Peter nods, crawling out of Tony’s lap and laying back, legs spread like they were before and Tony bites his lip to keep from ruining this early. He gives Peter a quick once over before he hurries out of his jeans and returns to him. “You look so hot right now,” Peter tells him, one leg curling over his hip as he leans into Peter’s body.

“Yeah, I’m not worried about me at the moment,” Tony murmurs, fingers trailing down Peter’s thigh. Peter’s head tilts back a little and lets out a soft sigh. He’s not sure he meant to expose his neck like that but the image is almost lewd and Tony can’t help but lean his head into his neck, nosing at it as Peter arches into him. 

“Tony,” he murmurs, fingers pressing into his hips. Peter lets out a soft whine as Tony toys with the plug, pulling and pushing at it to tease him. “Come on, Tony. Want you, want you so bad,” he says, back arching a little again.

His teeth graze Peter’s neck and he lets out a small gasp that turns to a moan when Tony pulls the plug out. Tony bites his lip when he looks at it because Peter didn’t exactly decide to pick something small. “Fuck, you’re amazing,” he tells Peter as he tosses the plug aside. He pays no attention to where it lands.

Peter curls a leg around his waist and pulls him in, “come on Tony, fuck me. Been waiting all day and I can’t wait anymore,” he says, pouting. Fuck, yeah. He nods, sure that Peter genuinely wants this so he leans in and kisses him hard, nipping at Peter’s bottom lip as he presses in. Peter moans into his mouth, head tipping back as his legs curl around Tony’s waist. “Tony,” Peter moans, “yeah, like that. Oh-” he stops talking and instead makes these adorable little noises of pleasure as Tony moves slowly, easing Peter into it.

He lets out a shaky breath into Peter’s neck, nosing softly at it and earning a moan out of Peter for his efforts. “Fuck you feel so good,” Tony tells him, hand on his hip tightening a little.

“Yeah?” Peter asks, cheeks flushed a little. He looks so damn hot like that, spread out under Tony in his pretty lingerie, mouth open in pleasure and eyes half lidded.

“Fuck, yes baby. So tight around me, so wet.” He’s always found that Peter gets wet fast but fuck this is something new altogether and he moans. “So slick for me baby, taking me so well.”

Peter smiles for a moment before he groans, hips tilting into Tony’s and fuck that’s good too. “Fuck me harder,” Peter tells him. For a half a second he considers asking if he’s sure but abandons the idea on account of Peter clearly fucking wants it and so does he so he shifts his position a little bit and slams into Peter hard. “Fuck,” Peter says, back arching, “yes, just like that,” he tells Tony, pulling at him to do it again so he does.

Peter makes one fuck of an image with his cheeks flushed and his curls bouncing as Tony fucks into his fast and rough. “Fuck baby, you’re so good like this,” Tony tells him, “so good.”

He lets out a soft laugh, “can feel how worked up your are baby, can feel your knot already.” Tony moans, unable to help his reaction to that and Peter gasps, hips tilting up into Tony’s. “Oh fuck Tony yeah, come on. Wanna feel you knot me, feel you stretch me out, wanna cum on your knot so bad,” Peter tells him.

“Shit Peter, keep talking like that and I don’t think I’ll last,” he murmurs, biting his lip hard.

Peter grins, seemingly taking that as a personal challenge as he tilts his hips up into Tony’s again. “Come on Tony, fuck into me good, wanna be able to feel you for a week- yes like that, just like that,” Peter tells him as he slams into him harder. “That’s it baby, fuck into me like you want me- oh baby your knot is so good, its getting so big oh!” Tony moans, pressing his face into Peter’s neck to scent him. He doesn’t expect Peter’s hand threaded tightly through his hair, tilting his head so he can press Tony into him further but its not unwelcome by any means. “Keep fucking me like that baby, wanna feel you knot me so bad. Fuck baby, yes,” he tells Tony, fingers tightening in his hair as Tony’s teeth graze his neck. “Don’t stop, Tony, claim me. Please baby, please claim me wanna be yours, make me your- oh!”

He shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn’t, but Peter is literally begging for it, fingers curled tightly in his hair and his fucking slick- Tony doesn’t think he’s ever felt him this worked up before and its beyond hot. So he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t, that’s what he tells himself as he bites into Peter’s neck anyway because he’s fucking impossible to resist and the way Peter’s back arches into him tells him all he needs to know about where Peter stands on this. “Fuck Tony I’m cumming, oh my god, yes!” he yells, fingers in his hair curled tight enough to hurt but Tony likes that too.

He moans, slowing his pace a little however much he doesn’t want to so give Peter a break not that he takes it. “No Tony, don’t stop, don’t want you to- come on baby finish in me, knot me,” Peter tells him, voice so fucking desperate for it even though he just came and Tony can’t fucking help it he’s so good.

“I’m so close Peter, keep talking like that,” he says, fucking into him hard and it won’t be long now anyway.

“Come on baby, your knot feels so good already and its not even fully in me yet, gunna feel so good when you pop off in me, yes- fuck me like that,” Peter tells him. Tony moans, licking at Peter’s fresh claim bite and Peter moans too, tiling his head to give Tony better access to it. “That’s it baby, feel they way you marked me up as yours. I belong to you now baby, make me feel how much I’m yours, fuck into me so good I could never be with anyone else- yeah, like that. Fuck, just like that, keep going baby knot my ass, show me I belong to you- oh!” Peter moans loud underneath of him, back arching up as he gasps. “Oh baby I’m gunna cum again, gunna- oh, Tony please knot me, wanna cum on your knot oh baby please I want you so bad- ah!”

Tony presses into him one last time, teeth sinking into his neck again and Peter yells, legs curling around Tony to make sure he’s locked in and he feels himself throb inside Peter. “Fuck baby, you’re so god damn good,” he murmurs.

Peter lets out a soft huff. “Holy shit, wow. We’re gunna do that again, right?” he asks and Tony laughs.

“As much as you want, gorgeous.”

*

Peter thinks all those romantic tales of first times are stupid but he also wasn’t about to settle for something shit either, he’s heard too many stories of lackluster first times to walk into it all willy nilly. He figures Tony being freakishly good, not, he supposes, that he has anything to compare it to, means he was right to hold out. Not that Tony seemed to realize that until right now. “You were, I thought- seriously?” he asks and Peter rolls his eyes.

“Alphas and their weird collective virginity kink. But yeah, that was my first time,” he says.

“What the fuck is with your talent at dirty talk then? Where the hell did you learn that?” he asks, confused.

Peter rolls his eyes, “Tony you don’t need to have sex to talk dirty and you’re not exactly difficult to get going. You might not be a jackass like ninety percent of other alphas but in the bedroom you’re pretty much the same as the rest of them.” Tony raises an eyebrow and Peter huffs, “I watch porn okay, and unlike alphas who don’t seem to know its all fictional I know how to parse out the weird bullshit from stuff that actually makes sense in real life. And also you aren’t the first person I’ve dated, I had guinea pigs before you.”

Tony wrinkles his nose, “don’t bring up your exes, that kills my afterglow,” he mumbles like its not at all a possessive thing. Peter doesn’t mind though, he’ll give Tony being possessive in this one area only.

“You asked,” Peter points out.

“Yeah, but I didn’t want an image of you with fucking Beck in my head. You watching porn though? There’s something I’d like to see,” Tony tells him, pulling him into his lap.

Peter laughs, curling up with Tony and pressing his face into his neck. “That can be arranged. But its going to have to get in line with all my other ideas,” Peter tells him, delighting in the sharp shiver Tony lets out.

“You have plans, hmm?” he asks and Peter nods.

“I have a list, actually. Wanna see how much of it we can get through over the weekend?” he asks like that was ever a real question.

“Give me the list,” Tony tells him.

#tony stark x peter parker #starker #alternate universe #fanfiction #abo fanfic

[incarnateirony]

I think the issue with death as a happy ending (to a story, I should point out - death can be many things in many places, but I’m specifically talking about it in fiction) is that it’s usually written so badly that it doesn’t feel like a happy ending and it just feels like shit. There’s a very limited number of fictional works that I’ve seen actually manage it well - though in saying that, I have a very limited range, and I don’t really enjoy new things because (reasons). The ones I do recall, it’s because they were just that good and bittersweet is exactly the way I would describe them as a happy ending.

Firebringer was a novel I read when I was 12 or 13, and I still recall it. It was about a deer and it was his entire life - birth to death - and it was a happy ending. I cried through the last few chapters. Then I reread it and cried some more. It was good.

There’s also a fic I want to mention, because it’s on the topic. It’s called The white whale. and it’s by an author named orange_crushed. The entire premise of the fic is that Dean (and Sam, but it’s a destiel fic) is already dead. He died years ago. The title itself should say a lot, and the fic itself is about finding peace. It’s brilliant and beautiful, and I love it.

My perspective on death is a bit. Odd, maybe? I grew up somewhere between Christian (mum and dad and church, a mix of Baptist and Anglican) and animist (local indigenous spirituality), and while bit of both inform my interpretation, I’m very nearly atheist.

I don’t really believe in an afterlife, or rebirth, or anything like that. I believe that this is it. We get one shot at being who we want to be and acting as we choose with what we’re given. (“And isn’t it so wonderful, that we were alive at the same time?”)

I first heard the Freedom From vs Freedom To argument when reading the handmaid’s tale in my English class at school. It wasn’t even presented as an argument, everyone just seemed to agree that freedom to is better. I believe that, too. But freedom from has structure. It’s not “peaceful” and it can’t be when it is enforced, but it is informed by rules, and there it has expectations and is reliable (where reliable means we know what the consequences are, even if they’re awful). Freedom to is anarchy (which I have come to appreciate more). But neither freedom is peace.

There’s a quote I really love, and I can never recall it properly and it goes something like this: “War is an ugly thing, but it is not the ugliest. The decayed and degraded state of moral feeling which thinks nothing is worth war is much worse. A man who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing more important than his own personal fucking safety, is [the worst thing]” clearly I don’t recall it very well. It’s from an old bit of hp fanfic, of all things, a very violent and disgusting version of civil war - as war is. It was the beginning of why I’m not a pacifist.

I dunno. I guess I really feel like peace - true, genuine peace - can’t be done. It’s certainly worth striving for, worth trying, but peace is either isolation and loneliness or death. Peace is knowing you’ve done everything you can, that it was enough, and being able to let it go.

Any way I think I had a point somewhere in this, maybe something about being unable to put down a fight while you’re living, maybe something about how death can be kind, maybe something about how good writing can make sad things happy, maybe that bittersweet is still sweet. Idk.

Feel free to reply to this mess of ideas or not - or pick and choose what you want to reply to, if you’d like to reply to specific parts. I mostly just wanted to share (I can do discussion, but idk if I’m still gunna have any focus later to do so, or if I’ll even see a response) some thoughts and you’re usually the only person I see on my dash with this sort of ~vague philosophy things~.

Woah when did anons get to let someone submit something so long.

Either way, a few points on this.

1. a thoughtful piece, this is a philosophy piece I will gladly entertain. However, if we are entertaining philosophy we must

2. acknowledge this is a nihilistic piece contingent on your personal world views, that while valid, and I will not take any effort to undermine on a personal belief system level

3. do not have much to do with (dependent on fringe atheism or, perhaps, agnosticism) a piece that is far from secular and atheistic while also

4. relying on the idea that “I really feel like peace - true, genuine peace - can’t be done. It’s certainly worth striving for, worth trying, but peace is either isolation and loneliness or death.”, which is itself the very nihilistic idea imparted by Chuck’s matrix but, whether you believe it in the real world, is the active target of subversion within this fantasy world, (eg, a heaven revolution where the doors are opened just like they were in hell.)

5. Finally, presumptuous that it would not be ‘well written’ and predesignating a potential discontent with the delivery that would sour it, especially with the previous points.

That said, while I’m not going to argue directly with your real life belief system -- even if they clearly disagree with my own -- I do remind you--falling back to your point that you do not believe in an afterlife: we know this fictional story does not hold this belief, ergo using that as a judgment for how it would deliver the concept of eternity is itself already wounding oneself to receiving the moral of the canon. One can not suddenly expect SPN to become a secular show just because a viewer has secular and atheistic beliefs. It is inherently asecular, theistic, and gnostic in its bones and the story will thus tell itself within that structure, which then begs if one is willing to suspend a personal belief system for a fictional canon setting they are digesting the story of.

Similarly-and-so, this is contingent on believing that the heroes’ journey will end with them maintaining the current status quo, rather than making a world where--in this fictional world in which an afterlife exists--death does not itself mean loneliness, but rather reunion.

If we can suspend our beliefs in some shows with fighting dragons or farting lightning bolts (after all, nonnie references HP fanfic), I would hope people could suspend them in regards to a moral telling of found family and the sovereignty of man in a divine and moral play.

If one were to demand SPN have entirely atheistic storytelling, the only real way to handle an ending would be to have one of the characters wake up from a 15 year coma where none of it was real and it was all a dream or something to that affect which--lol, we’re not doing, I promise. I’m sorry, but we’re not.  We’re not taking the “none of it mattered because none of it happened” angle. We’re not going to a world where angels and the afterlife don’t exist, we’re not going to collapse it where suddenly death IS the true end and life sucks and then you die, it’s just not going to happen.

So the point then is an active choice on the part of the viewer: is this suddenly the line you draw after watching a theistic show for 15 years, doubling down that this specific theistic point is the one thing we can’t accept (despite it existing in the past already), or do we continue to watch a theistic show and interpret its theistic points as the story is trying to depict? And if it’s the “drawing the sudden line,” that is, quite frankly, a personal choice to have spontaneous discontent with a critical part of a canon story’s telling at a very sudden drawn line in the sand. 

The point to exit would have been pilot 1.01 if we were going to have fundamental problems with spirits and an afterlife as crucial elements of a story. And if not then, 4.01 with angels. And if not then-- you see where this goes on. There were multiple exit ramps if the idea of an afterlife, which became more and more directly explored, was going to be an issue in reception of or enjoyment of a text. So now we’re 15 years later, and we can’t expect the highway to reroute just because we didn’t take the other 100 ramps.

SPN will tell the full spread of its moral and divine play within the full spread of its moral and divine sandbox, which someone has--to reach the ending--accepted for fifteen years at this point. If one has a fundamental problem with the entire premise of the show, it is not an obligation to any writer to cater to someone who intrinsically disagrees with the entire structure of the body of work to fulfill something within a completely different paradigm. It’s not.

Am I lucky in that it matches my beliefs? Maybe. Also cursed. Very very cursed. Because it’s led to being Through The Looking Glass for two years to the point there’s a segment of fandom that treats me as a magic 8 ball--and sometimes rightfully so, not to sound like I’m tooting my own horn or whatever. It just knows I get the structure in play to a fault. But cursed knowledge aside -- and trust me, it’s cursed as FUCK most of the time -- in the end, even when I watch shows that don’t match my personal theology, I don’t sit here and suddenly expect them to do so. There’s plenty of shows I completely suspend my beliefs in to enjoy within the sandbox they were designed in the constraints of so I find it very weird to project a discontent with a body of fictional canon presenting ideas within its own rule set based on personal beliefs in a real life lens. I mean, I don’t believe dragons exist, but if I watch the Dragon Prince for many seasons, I can’t suddenly expect the ending to have nothing to do with Dragons?

I mean, the show is literally called Supernatural. It's right there in the name. There are going to be supernatural elements about the show. My banner image is literally a reborn soul floating down the aisle. This isn't gonna suddenly be irrelevant at the end.

#supernatural #fandom #meta #pagan life #my meta #philosophy