#REPOST cuz i needed to fix the hair | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

geminioriginalsimagines · 4 years

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Birthday Boy

Requests: “Soo idk why I thought of this (maybe cuz of the posts of DG turning 41) but how about a shower sex smut with Elijah? Or even a birthday sex where it's Elijahs bday? Hmm... If you're feeling it then you can choose which scenario 😋😎🤗” “Riding Elijah smut?” (Credits to gif owners!) Warning! Visual smut ahead!(REPOST!!! Was a Visual Smut but edited.)

"Y/N, my love?" A hint of confusion laced in Elijah's voice. What he didn't know was that you were upset to find out his birthday was today. Klaus had hinted at it and then when you found out, you couldn't help but be a little offended. Elijah always spoiled you for your birthday, and he never told you when his was. Probably because he knew you'd go full out and he didn't ever ask for anything special. What a party pooper, to not even want to go out for drinks? Or a dinner?

His voice was getting closer and closer to your bedroom. You sat across your bed, fixing the lace cupping your breasts and resting your chin in your hand, kicking your feet up behind you and crossing your legs. "Sweetheart you haven't answered my texts." It was always like him to worry about you. "Forgive me, baby. But I don't recall doing anything-" He opened the door and quickly looked away, you caught the big bad original off guard. "Wrong." He finished his statement weakly.

His eyes never left your body, the way you pushed yourself off of the bed and let your hair fall over your shoulders. The way you walked at him until your chest was flushed against his. "I'm not angry, but a little disappointed." But he had no idea what you were getting at. There was no way he had forgotten his own birthday, was there? "How come you didn't tell me it was your birthday? Elijah we could have had dinner or went to see a movie-" Your fingers walked up his chest.

He watched and then averted his attention to your eyes. "I never celebrate. It must have never come about." Your hand slowly wrapped around his tie, tugging him down a few notches so he was eye level with you. "Y/N-" His hand grabbed your hip, but your hand wrapped in his tie, now he wasn't leaving. He saw the evil and smoky look in your eye and held himself together. His hand on your hip was starting to get hot, he had an urge to throw you down and take you. Just because he was dominant and you trying to have dominance over him always drove him crazy.

"Well then why don't we 'celebrate' a little?" You licked your lips and then pulled his face closer, licking a stripe from his jaw to his temple. Elijah's face was red, flustered and he looked almost shy. But you knew he wasn't shy. He was trying not to fuck you up the wall and wait and see what you had in store for him. But that was the thing, you didn't have anything planned because you figured he'd want to do whatever he could to you.

Without any other noises, words, anything...you dropped to your knees. Elijah wiped his mouth and watched with his hands covering his cheeks. You skimmed your hand across the front of his dress pants, teasing the soon to be hard flesh underneath. You smiled up at him as innocently as you could but God only knows you aren't innocent especially when it came to Elijah. "I figured I'd let you have me for your big day. Just to remind you how much of a gift I am to you."

"Your confidence can make a man intimidated, Y/N." His hands now behind his back. You laughed a bit and played with his belt, now undone and hanging loosely off of his hips. Your hand skimmed the front of his pants again, this time squeezing your fingers around the thick flesh. Elijah fixed his stance so he could balance better and get a better view of you below him.

Now his pants were in a puddle at his feet and at your knees. You wrapped both hands around his length and pumped him, a soft rhythm that you knew he always enjoyed. Sensual and gentle, just enough to draw soft moans out of him and to watch his chest rise and fall. Which was exactly how he reacted and sent warmth straight between your legs. You took your bottom lip between your teeth and heard Elijah moan at the sight.

"Why don't you do something instead of looking pretty?" This was completely out of character for Elijah but whatever it was, you loved it. And even took a chance at him, pushing yourself off of the ground and leaving him to the bed by his tie. You collected his hands in yours when he attempted to hold them and shoved him backwards. He bounced but regained himself, shrugging his jacket off. He helped pull you across his lap, holding your thighs and watching you unbutton his shirt and brush it off of the bed.

You positioned yourself over his lap, playing with his cock. You teased your folds with the tip at first, and then circling your clit with it. You couldn't hold back your smile when Elijah parted his legs further, as if to throw you off balance so you'd give in. But you didn't. He released a hoarse groan when you pretended you were going to sink down on him but lifted yourself again. And Elijah's growing frustration was evident.

Once more you wriggled your hips downward, pressing the tip of his cock through your folds and then pulling yourself up. Elijah sat up, one strong arm wrapped around your waist and the other pulling you down around him despite not being ready to adjust quite yet. Your hands slapped to his shoulders and a look of shock washed over your face. "Damn it Elijah-" Your figure shook slightly in his arms.

"Mmm, but I bet it feels wonderful doesn't it?" He wiped hair out of your eyes and then tightened his arm around your hip, using his other hand to hold the both of you up. His arm pushed at your hips, urging you to move. Your nails digging into his shoulders but he didn't seem to mind at all. You closed your eyes and buried your face in his neck, your heavy breaths the only thing you could hear.

Elijah was now guiding you in a rushed and hurried motion. The rhythm was rough and anything but passionate. You used him as leverage to push down around him as fast as you could, experimenting with circling your hips and thrusting quickly back and forth. An unexpected moan tumbled from your parted lips and it was loud. Louder than you expected it to be. And it must have caught Elijah off guard because he flinched and then moaned with you.

He took this as an opportunity to take your bottom lip in his mouth, biting down and hearing your whimpers. It was like music to his ears, something he could listen to all day. His arm still guiding you. You could feel your body start to shake and a spot deep within starting to ache, your orgasm was following along swiftly.

Elijah wouldn't let it happen. If you knew him well enough he'd make you hold it, and then you'd have to wait until he was almost there and then cum together. Especially if it was his birthday he might have something like that planned, something intimate.

"Elijah." You whimpered, he took your bottom lip between his teeth again. You tilted your head back, a cry sounding throughout the room while Elijah had freed you, trailing his lips down your neck and to your chest. His mouth latched onto your right nipple, your hand coming up from his shoulder to the back of his head. You ran your fingers through his soft hair and aided him in moving back and forth from each breast.

While keeping the same rhythm, you shoved Elijah backwards and planted one hand on his chest. The other sat on his thigh. He groaned at the sudden change in position but he had a full view of what was going on between your legs. Which ultimately turned him on more if that was even possible.

You bit your lip and moaned, your eyes closed softly and wiping hair out of your face when it fell. Your toes curled, the ache returning and for some reason you couldn't hold it off much longer. But you didn't think about that, you wanted to make Elijah feel good on his special day and you figured you were doing just that when he grabbed your hips and played with the flesh beneath his fingers.

"Elijah-" You whimpered down at him, your smokey eyes showing nothing but lust for him. His thumbs pressed into your hip bones, inching closer and closer to your clit. "Elijah-" You chanted again. He knew where you wanted him and he wouldn't give it to you. "Please." You shuddered but Elijah refused.

Without another word, Elijah held you close, pulling you down onto his chest where you whimpered into him. Muffled sounds, heavy breathing, moaning. You dug your nails into his arms, holding onto him as he did you. You were thankful he assisted you by thrusting up at you, holding you down and doing work for himself.

You were tired and your head was foggy and clouded. You needed your release badly. Elijah couldn't get over how you felt, gripping him, wet, moaning his name. He grunted and you felt his muscles start to strain under your hands, Elijah was never really big on making noise but tonight was a whole different story because for some reason you had done something different and he was feeling good.

His grunts in your ear turned you on more, spurring you closer to your orgasm. Elijah kissed you, he wouldn't let you go until you finished but now you were lacking oxygen from the surprise kiss. You rolled your eyes into the back of your head and came above him. You shuddered and felt as if you'd fall apart, but his strong arms were holding you together. Elijah's orgasm came soon after, moaning into the kiss and then your hands started roaming as did his.

"Definitely the most intense." You whispered down to him. You refused to move, you felt warm and comfortable, also sore from the rhythm you moved at. And you didn't want to move. Not until Elijah rolled you over, straddling your waist and smiling down at you. "What?" You laughed with him.

"You forget its my birthday, I don't believe I'm finished with you quite yet. I'm getting used to celebrating." He kissed you once more before trailing his lips down your stomach and finishing you off for the rest of the night.

#elijah the originals #elijah mikaelson #Smut #rough smut #the originals #the originals imagine #the originals smut #elijah the originals smut #elijah smut #elijah mikaelson imagine #elijah mikaelson smut #geminioriginalsimaginesmasterlist #geminioriginalsimagines #to imagine #TVD #tvd imagine

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euphoria-vmin7 · 4 years

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tiger flower 02 | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre/warnings: angst, hanahaki! au, non-idol! au, heartbreak, unrequited love, swearing, drinking, sad ending, implied/mentions of death

word count: 4,805

summary: the petals were supposed to be your secret.

rating: pg-15 (swearing and drinking)

– a/n: tiger flower was actually just supposed to be one part. i had no plans of writing a part two BUT since quite a few of you asked for it, I got inspired and wrote this. it turned out longer than i expected tbh. there’s a lot of angst and crying in this but honestly, that was expected with this au lol. i hope you guys like this :)

reposting this cuz i had some technical difficulties oops-

read part 1 here

Jungkook felt an odd mixture of confusion and worry. Normally, he’d be used to you acting crazy and all, but this was different. He watched with concern as you took another lazy swig from the bottle of beer in front of you. Though, the fact that you were drinking wasn’t what was concerning him. It was the way you were acting.

Jungkook had known you for years now. He had been with you on the first night the two of you had ever gotten drunk. And to this day you had always been the same while tipsy: loud, energetic, and giggly. There wasn’t a single time he could name where you had been any different. He couldn’t even count on his fingers how many times he’d have to shush you in between giggles as you shouted random words that seemed to make sense in the middle of the bar. Crazy, loud drunk had defined you for as long as he could remember.

And though sometimes it frustrated him to no end, he found it endearing all the same. In fact, tonight he had been counting on it. He had called you to come out for a drink with him in hopes of feeling a bit more cheerful after watching you get drunk. He needed to get cheered up.

Though, instead, tonight you were different.

You were hunched over and quiet and zoning out too easily. The happy, cheerful, boisterous drunk in you had disappeared and instead been replaced by this. Whatever this was.

He briefly worried that his frown lines would permanently etch themselves to his young face.

Jungkook had been having relationship problems. That had been the sole reason why he had invited you out tonight. Though he and Jieun had only been dating for roughly three and half months, they had fought one too many times already. He loved her, he really did. But the two of them were so different in personality, that when they clashed, it didn’t end up pretty.

Another more selfish reason had drawn him to pulling out his phone and dialing your number that night. He hadn’t seen you in weeks. He had been texting you, calling you, and trying to catch up with you around campus, but every time he was brushed off in a hurried manner. He wondered whether he had done something to piss you off. But then he pushed the thought away because no, you always talked out your disagreements.

Maybe something was bothering you that you couldn’t tell him about. What it was made him frustratingly curious, especially considering that most of the times, you could always tell him about it. He’d understand. He knew you better than anyone, after all.

Or maybe it was just exactly as you said: “Sorry Kook, I’ve been trying to study for finals,”

Even though for the last few years you had always studied with him.

Maybe it was Jungkook himself. He knew that getting into a relationship had significantly reduced the time he had for you. Was he himself being distant? Perhaps you had grown so detached because he hadn’t even put in the effort to keep you close to him.

Whatever the reason was, Jungkook wished it was fixed soon. It was bad enough fighting with the girl he was dating. He didn’t want to feel your absence so deeply, either.

He thought that maybe your behavior in the past few weeks was being reflected in your drinking habits, too. Because now as he watched you gloomily take another chug of beer, he felt as though he was drinking with a different person.

He was tipsy himself, but felt as though he was seeing things much more clearly than usual. There were dark circles under your eyes that were not there before and he realized that you hadn’t once smiled fully since you arrived. You were different.

“(Name),” he nudged your shoulder, a bit surprised at how clear his own voice sounded. Your eyes lethargically moved to settle on him and he felt a bit hurt at the way you moved your body away, as though he had tainted you by the one touch.

“Yes Jungkook?” you drawled.

“What’s wrong with you?”

You snorted and chuckled. “What are you talking about?”

“Well for one you’re not standing on the table trying to imitate Jimin hyung’s dancing like usual, so what the fuck is wrong?”

“Maybe I’m just tired, Jungkook. You ever think of that?” you laughed quietly as you tipped your drink past your lips. Once again, he frowned.

“I guess…” he muttered, deciding not to push you too actively. He hoped the drinks he was paying for would help loosen your tongue. Help you spill your worries to him just as he had done to you a million times before.

“So…” you spoke up after another long gulp. “What’s with the sudden call?”

“We haven’t talked in weeks, Peanut,”

He didn’t notice how the nickname made you cringe.

“So I wanted to see you. Check in, you know?” he asked, looking down at his glass and traced the rim, feeling uncharacteristically shy. “If you were…doing okay,”

You smiled at him ruefully. He was so blissfully unaware of how everything he did made your heart swell and break at the same time.

“Kook,” you muttered, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m seriously fine. I swear, I really had to study for finals and that’s why I haven’t been hanging with you as much. I’m sorry if I worried you,”

Jungkook released a breath, an unknown weight lifting from his chest. “Ah okay. Gotcha,”

You analyzed him for a solid second before leaning back a bit. “But that’s not the only reason you called me out tonight, is it Kook?”

He winced at your uncanny ability to pick his facade apart. “No…” he responded, a miserable tone overtaking his voice. “I just…Jieun and I have been fighting,”

He missed the way your shoulders sagged with utter disappointment. Though you knew deep down that his worry for you was genuine, the fact that he wanted to meet you for help with her stung in more ways than you cared to admit. You would never say that to him though.

Instead you raise your brows in surprise and show interest. “Oh? About what?”

“I’m…not really sure,” he replies, shrugging in defeat. “We just have petty fights. I don’t know where they come from but…they don’t end well at all,”

You hummed thoughtfully, finishing your drink and motioning to the bartender for another. “Did you two, have a conversation recently that ended…badly?”

Jungkook thought back to the previous week when she had casually brought up marriage and winced to himself. He hadn’t thought about the outcome of the conversation since it had happened, but with the way you were looking at him, worry swirling in your hazy eyes, he had the urge to spill.

“She was talking about the future,” he mumbled. “And I guess I couldn’t handle it,”

Your lips made an ‘O’ shape as you took in this piece of information. “What do you mean by ‘couldn’t handle it’?”

“I…” it seemed that despite you being much more drunk than he was, he was the one who was struggling to form words. “I just…couldn’t listen to it. And when I asked her to drop it…”

You hummed once again. “Well, I guess I understand why. You aren’t ready for that yet. But she’s started thinking about it, right?”

“Yeah exactly,” Jungkook nodded. “And like we’ve only been dating for a few months now. I didn’t even consider marriage when I started dating her,”

A stagnant pause took over the conversation and Jungkook quickly wondered whether he had said something unreasonable.

“Jungkook…” you asked quietly. “Do you…see yourself getting married to her in the future?”

He balked at the question, opening his mouth to respond but finding no answer. He stopped to think about it. Did he see a future with Jieun? Sure, he was crazy about her. Heck, he was pretty sure he was in love with her. But a future?

Could he see himself, years down the line, slipping a wedding ring onto her finger? Could he see himself, years down the line, holding their children by the arms and tossing them up to the sky, tiny giggles echoing in his ears?

He hadn’t even realized that he had shut his eyes, but when he had opened them, he saw you staring at him. God, why did you look so drained?

What happened to you?

Instead of posing these questions, Jungkook tried to give you an answer. “I…don’t know. I want to see a future with her. But right now…”

You nodded. You understood. Jungkook was younger than Jieun was. She had already lived through these few years that Jungkook still hadn’t reached. So perhaps he wanted to, just not yet.

“Tell her that then,” you replied with a soft smile.

“Tell her what?” he asked, confusion lacing his tone as he looked at you. You gave him a knowing look.

“Exactly what you feel. That you want to, but not yet,”

Your voice was tired, but not because of the drinks. Something was horribly wrong and Jungkook hated not knowing what it was. More than tired you sounded…broken.

“I…” he trailed off, looking at you with shiny doe eyes. You chuckled, patting him on the shoulder before placing cash on the table.

“Trust me. You guys will get over this. You need to tell her what you’re feeling though. Don’t just drop the conversation, you know?” you grinned. “Good luck, Kookie. I’m rooting for you two,”

You pulled your jacket off the barstool and slipped your arms through the sleeves. There was a pink flush in your cheeks and Jungkook watched the way your dim eyes sparkled with something new.

It wasn’t something good. It looked painful.

“I’m gonna go,” you sighed, pulling your hair out and over your shoulders. Jungkook was standing in a second, gripping your arm quickly, but gently. The touch made you stiffen.

“By yourself?” he frowned. “You’re drunk as hell, Peanut,”

“If you’re asking if I’m driving myself home, then no,” you snorted. “I’ll call a cab,”

“I’ll drive you,”

“Psh, if you think you’re in a place to drive, Kook, you’ve got another thing coming,” you giggled. “Just take a cab or call someone,”

“At least let me walk you there,” he said hurriedly. He slammed some cash down next to yours that roughly covered his expenses. Something was wrong. It was itching at his gut and bothering him to no end that you weren’t sharing your worries with him. You didn’t even remember that he had promised you he’d pay tonight. You opened your mouth to protest but he gave you a stern glare that had you sighing in defeat. You nodded mutely and turned to shakily walk out of the bar which had suddenly become far too loud for you. Your head was pounding as Jungkook’s heavy footsteps echoed in your ears when he hurried after you. He was at your side by the time you stepped out, taking a mouthful of the cold air to quell the familiar dizziness in your head.

You could faintly make out his sweet voice on the phone, calling you a nearby cab and giving the details of your location. You smiled weakly to yourself.

You found it harder than you expected to take proper steps and kicked yourself for drinking so much. Jungkook chuckled at you and felt his heart lift when you turned to smack him. He had the conscience to hold his arm out for you and the two of you walked down the street in relative silence. You mentally thanked Jungkook for letting you walk a bit before getting into a car. The nighttime air was doing wonders for your headache.

Jungkook glanced down at you, his teeth worrying his bottom lip as he struggled to find a way to speak. How was he supposed to ask if you were okay yet again and expect a different answer?

“(Name)…” he asked.

“Hm?”

You weren’t looking at him. Lights shone in your eyes and for a second he believed that they were the ones he knew, but the bright buildings around him quickly diminished his hope.

“Are you okay?”

You grinned. “You’ve been asking me that, Jeon. And I keep telling you I’m fine,”

He watched your gaze travel around the city and he was hit with this unfounded feeling of longing.

I missed you.

“But you’re not fine,” he stressed, feeling frustrated in you and himself. “There’s something else bothering you and you’re not telling me,”

Your shoulders sagged and Jungkook mentally celebrated his victory. “I…” you started. “I promise, Kook. I’m really fine. I’ve just been studying so much and sleeping late…”

You sounded genuine. But he wasn’t sure. He used to be able to tell whether you were lying in a second. What happened?

“And…” you trailed off.

“And?” he urged, leaning closer to you.

“I’ve…been getting sick,”

He frowned at that. He never considered that it would be your health that was causing your avoidances.

“Sick?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I guess it has something to do with all the stress I’ve been putting on myself lately. But I’ve gotten sick a lot in the past few months so…”

He bit his bottom lip in concern. “Are you…feeling better now?”

You shut your eyes and took a deep breath in. “Now…I’m okay,”

“But…?” he asked.

“But it might come back. I don’t know, it’s all really random,”

He rubbed your shoulder softly. “I’m sorry Peanut,” he felt guilty. “I haven’t even been checking up on you,”

“No,” you chuckled. “Not your fault, Kook. I’ve been keeping to myself. I didn’t want you to see me like that,”

The words confused him. You both had stumbled into each other’s houses countless number of times, no matter how sick you both were. The other one had always made chicken soup. It was a norm.

He worried.

“(Name)…”

You turned to look at him. He felt so empty when he looked into your dull eyes.

“Please take care of yourself,”

You grinned a bit and nodded. “I will,”

He barely believed that. Something was wrong. There was something else you were hiding.

You staggered a bit and Jungkook’s grip on your arms tightened. He was about to start scolding you for drinking past your limit but stopped himself. You laughed. The real laugh. Your eyes shut, pink flushed cheeks, and windswept hair, and yet, you looked so unreal. How long had he been away from you? Did you really have such a strong hold on him that in just a few weeks of being away from you, he had forgotten the way you laughed? He felt a surge of disappointment in himself.

“You’re crazy,” he said, shaking his head as a chuckle escaped his lips. “So fucking crazy,”

“Yeah yeah,” you brushed off, slurring a bit. “Which makes me much more entertaining than you are,”

He had it in him to chuckle. He saw the cab pull up and held his hand up to catch the driver’s attention.

“The cab’s across the street. Think you can make it without kissing the road?” he teased and you laughed once again. His heart swelled with pride and relief.

“I’ve got it,”

That was a lie. You paused a bit and blinked quickly, as though trying to get your eyes to focus.

Then you stumbled forward and Jungkook scrambled to hold you against him. Though he wasn’t prepared for the harsh cough to tumble past your lips. You wheezed in pain, clutching at your chest and his heart thudded with worry. The worry disappeared completely when he saw the petals. You hacked into your hands, repetitive coughs that sounded so painful, he felt it in his own chest. They continued to fall, bright orange against your skin. Petals turned into whole flowers.

When the coughs ceased, Jungkook was looking to your palms in shock. His heart shattered when his eyes darted to your face. You refused to look at him, instead staring at your shaking hands with one expression.

Caught.

His breath hitched, and then an influx of emotions filled his chest. Shock, then pity, sadness, and finally anger.

“What the fuck, (Name),” he uttered in a low voice. “What the fuck is this?”

He knew what it was. He knew what it meant. And the only thought running through his mind was killing the person who was causing this.

“It’s…” you started and he missed the way your voice shook.

“Is this what you meant by getting sick?”

“Listen-”

“Just how long have you been hiding this from me?!” he couldn’t control the volume of his voice. “Who is it?”

“Jungkook-”

“Who is it?!”

“Fuck,” you swore, shutting your eyes and gripping your hair. “I can’t,”

He was livid. Red hot anger burned in his throat.

“You’re protecting him?! After you’ve been suffering through all of this?! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

There was no way you actually believed you could keep this from him. You bit your lip to prevent a sob from escaping. You didn’t want it to happen this way.

“Get the surgery,” he ordered lowly and you remained quiet.

“Kook-”

“(NAME)!!” he yelled, holding your shoulders. “GET THE FUCKING SURGERY!!”

“I CAN’T!!” you shouted back, tears falling now. He stepped back a bit, though now he was even angrier.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU WOULD RATHER DIE FOR THIS BITCH THAN GET THE SURGERY-”

“IT’S YOU JUNGKOOK!!”

It took him a second to process what you said. He was so focused on his anger, on your tears, and on how stupid he had been for not seeing this earlier. When he repeated it once more in his head, fear swallowed him whole. His hands dropped as he looked down at you, lips parted, heart racing.

“What?”

“It’s you,” you sniffled noisily. “I’m in love with you. The petals came because you didn’t feel the same,”

What does one say to that? How does one respond to that?

I’m helpless.

For the first time in his life, Jungkook is speechless. He has no response to your words. No response that seems appropriate enough.

“I’m not getting the surgery for this, Jungkook. Anyone else, maybe. But you,” you cleared your throat and wiped your eyes. The dullness in them suddenly made sense, and Jungkook’s throat tightened. “I would never. Goodnight, Kook,”

You turn to cross the street and Jungkook is desperate to chase after you. But an unknown force keeps him rooted to the spot. His legs are heavier than any weights he has ever lifted before. And the image of your back getting further and further away from him paints itself into his mind. Petals fall from the sky and he cries.

Hundreds of texts and plenty of calls were ignored until he couldn’t take it anymore. He had always respected your privacy. He decided he was past that. His knuckles were stinging and he was sure they’d bruise with the force of his knocks. He knew you were in your apartment. There was no way you had left since the cab had dropped you off, as Jungkook arrived only minutes later.

Jungkook made a promise to wait there until you opened the door. And both of you knew exactly how stubborn he was. He was counting on it tonight.

“Open the door, (Name),” his voice was already shaking and he cursed himself. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to force you to think rationally.

His knocks were desperate. He wished you’d just give up and open the door, but he knew you were just as stubborn as he was. Memories of competitions and play fights flashed behind his eyes and his throat tightened. He swallowed thickly and knocked harder.

“What the fuck, Jungkook-”

He himself was surprised at the way you wrenched the door open but he got over it quickly and pushed his way inside. You were still dressed in the clothes you had worn to the bar, but you looked much more tired. He wondered how many more flowers you had coughed up since you left. The thought made him sick.

“Jungkook, please,” you sighed. “I’m tired I just want to-”

“How long?” he asked quietly and you sighed again.

“Kook-”

“How long?” he repeated. He already knew, but he needed to hear it from you.

“Too long,” you answered and he shut his eyes tightly. “Years, Kook,”

“Fuck,” he cursed, rubbing a hand over his face. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What good would it have done?” you turned away to walk to your couch. Memories of the two of you curled up on that couch made him wince.

“It…” he started but he had no answer. You smiled knowingly.

“Exactly. You would’ve just felt guilty for years and we probably wouldn’t have such a great friendship,”

“You should’ve told me,” he repeated, even though he knew you were right. You just shook your head to yourself as he took a seat next to you carefully, as though you’d break right then and there.

“It was my struggle. I have to deal with it,”

He took a shaky breath in, his hands clammy. “Have you told anyone else yet?”

“My parents know,” you sighed before chuckling at the pamphlets littering your center table. “As you can see they’ve been trying to persuade me to get the surgery-”

“And you should!” he shouted, though you barely flinched.

“Jungkook,” you said sternly, turning to face him. “You know what the side effects are, don’t you?”

He remained quiet, though yes, he did know.

“I’ll lose my memories. Of you. Of us. I can’t do that, Kookie,”

“Why not?” he asked, his eyes glazing over as tears pooled at his waterline. “Why can’t you?”

“Because,” you smiled ruefully. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you. I can’t lose that,”

He put his face in his hands and sniffled shakily. He could barely look at you. He hated that you’d given up.

“B-But I do love you,” he tried. His fingers were grasping thin air, but all they were catching were the petals of the tiger flower.

“No, Kookie,” you shook your head. “You know that’s not enough,”

Strong friendship was not enough. His friendship was not enough. He’d never be enough.

“I fell in love with you but you don’t love me in the same way,” you smiled up at him and he felt his heart break. “It’s okay,”

How could you say that? How could you pretend like everything was okay? Nothing is okay about this. He felt so useless. So upset. So angry. So helpless.

I fell in love with you but you don’t love me in the same way.

“No no,” he was crying. “No I do love you. I do,”

You shook your head sadly and he cursed you for being able to smile at him like that. Light he once knew, light that comforted him any time he needed, had completely disappeared from your eyes.

He’s helpless. He needed to do something. Anything, you persuade you. He had to show you.

I love you, I do. I’m enough, I swear. I love you, that’s enough.

When he kissed you, your heart shattered for the final time. You could taste the salt of tears but you weren’t sure whether they came from him or you. One kiss. One final kiss.

You had spent years of your life waiting for this one moment. But yet when it came, you wished it hadn’t. You wanted nothing more than for this moment to be yet another one of your wishful dreams.

Because you and he both knew that it meant nothing. It meant nothing that could save you. He was trying so hard to pull you back to him. To prove that he was being sincere. But whether he was convincing you or himself was lost in the sound of hearts breaking.

He pulled away, hands still holding your face, knowing that once he let go, he’d lose you forever. Your hair tickled his skin like the whispers of childish secrets once did, and he reveled in the feeling. He was sobbing. You had never seen him sob like this before.

“How could you do this to me?” you shut your eyes to avoid looking at him, his crumbling expression brewing yet more guilt inside of you. “How could you let me do this to you?”

“It wasn’t your fault, Kookie,” you chuckled weakly. “It was mine,”

“Stop it,” tears were dripping down his soft cheeks fast as he pushed his forehead against yours. “You’re hurting so much because of me. Stop it,”

What he was telling you to stop, even he didn’t know. A part of him wanted to shout and scream. To scold you for ever having feelings for an idiot like him. Just stop it. Stop loving me, please.

But even he knew it was easier said than done. It had happened. The damage had already been done.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered through cries. “I’m so sorry,”

“It’s not your fault,” you repeated, smiling. He loved that smile, but in that moment, he hated it more than anything. He prayed to the heavens that you would stop pretending like everything was okay. It was not okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.

“Get the surgery,” he pleaded. “Please (Name), get the surgery. I can’t…”

He choked on a sob but you knew what he wanted to say. I can’t lose you.

“Kook,” you mumbled, putting a hand on his cheek. “I never want to forget us,”

He broke then and there, legs going weak and he sobbed. He fell to his knees and cried into his hands. He knew that you had made up your mind. There was nothing he could do to change your mind.

He hated you. God, he hated you more than anything.

He hated the way you bent down to hug him the same way you had been hugging him for years. He hated the way you were the one comforting him when he should’ve been the one holding you. He hated how you were okay. You weren’t supposed to be okay. You were supposed to scream and cry and curse him for breaking your heart like this. You were supposed to hate him. Hate him so that he could feel the pain he had caused you all these years.

He quietly wished that he was the one coughing up petals instead.

Why were you so understanding?

How could you still love him after he had reduced you to this? How could you even bring yourself to hold him when every touch was killing you on the inside?

That’s when he realized that he would never be as good as you. All the playful competitions over the years that he had taken the prize for paled in comparison to this one moment. You won against him, but you lost everything, and his heart ached for you.

You were going. You were leaving him and there was nothing he could do to keep you with him. All his life, Jungkook had despised feeling helpless. But he had never known that it could feel like this. That helplessness could feel like utter destruction. He cursed fate. He cursed the universe. He cursed everything he knew because why? Why did fate have to do this to him, to you? Why did the universe create such a path for people? Why did the people who suffer meet such heartbreaking ends? Why you? Why did you fall for him? Why wouldn’t you let him go? Why you?

His arms felt like lead when they moved to wrap around you, but he held you tighter than he had ever done before. Your body was warm, and images of play fights, spontaneous knocks, and fortresses made of blankets and pillows filled his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking from them. Childish laughter echoed in his ears, melding with sweet whispers, and heartfelt secrets. Somewhere in the distance, something shattered. He felt soft petals brush against his skin. They tickled his subconscious, and he choked on a sob. He opened his eyes and looked down at his arms, cursing the lies and false hope he had tried to give you earlier. He praised you for being able to see through him, just as you had always been able to. He felt bile rise up in his throat as his glossy eyes danced over his own tattoos.

He hated Tiger Flowers.

a/n: i wanted to leave the ending broad like this so you can imagine what happens afterwards!! though i think the options are pretty limited lol. i hope you enjoyed :)

#heartsforbts #btsghostie #btsguild #btswriterscollective #btsbookclub #bangtanscenery #bangtanhq #bangtanarmynet #thebtsficarchive #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #bts x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bts #jungkook #bts angst #jungkook one shot

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10moonymhrivertam · 2 years

Text

This was his chance. This was his one and only chance. High school was so close. If he didn’t talk to All Might now, there was no way he was running into him again before entrance exams. His question wouldn’t be answered until it was too late to ask. Izuku lunged forward, but it was too late. All Might had sprung up with so much strength that a gust of wind rushed down the street and tore loose petals from the trees. He couldn’t help but keep staring at the sky, even after All Might faded from view. He clutched his notebook tighter to his chest, nodding to himself. This one, he’d be leaving at home from now on. He was sure that even if Kacchan denied it, he would die for an autograph, too.

As he turned to continue on his way home, his mind raced. His legs tingled as he walked - his whole body felt like it was buzzing after that villain run-in, but he still felt a little too winded to run. Besides, if Kacchan or one of his friends saw him running, they’d ask why, and they might take his notebook again, and it meant so much more now.

Even with his body prepared like this, he hadn’t been able to do anything to the villain. He...if All Might hadn’t shown up, he might have... Izuku’s lips pressed together and he hugged the notebook to his chest. Was it some sort of sign? A silent answer to the question he hadn’t been able to ask? He slowed to a stop, letting the question sit in his mind. Maybe it was just because he was a middle schooler. Even Kacchan’s friends knew better than to pick on the schools above them, after all. He chewed on his lip, and found his feet were carrying him toward the police station without realizing. Maybe All Might would get tied up in paperwork. He’d seen plenty of reposted paparazzi photos from times that had happened to other heroes. He hadn’t seen any of All Might...but that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen, right?

****

[All Might still loses the villain because he didn’t CLOSE HIS DAMN POCKETS, maybe he forgot and let go of the muscle form early (altho he’d need it for landing oof), Midoriya sees and saves Bakugo and decides that it is just because he’s a middle schooler, cuz Kacchan couldn’t save himself either]

****

Izuku rubbed his eyes and yawned. He didn’t usually have trouble sleeping, but he just hadn’t been able to manage it last night, tossing and turning, checking his phone every fifteen minutes. Luckily, yesterday was Friday. It was early Saturday, now, and Izuku had given up on lying down. He’d decided to treat himself to some sugary snacks. He’d left a note for Mom and then taken a meandering walk to the store. He didn’t really mean to walk past the beach. It felt crowded and smelled awful, but the sun made the sky really beautiful once it could be seen past the trash mountain, and it was just coming up. He spotted someone else leaning against the railing, his limp blond hair being pulled by the cool sea breeze. He stopped a few lengths down, fixing his eyes on the sky.

“I like the purples best,” he announced. The man’s head tipped up, and Izuku startled to realize he might have been looking out at all the trash rather than up at the sky, and he suddenly felt silly.

“I like the reds.” Izuku turned away, hoping his sigh of relief would be a little less visible. Then he looked up again.

“I don’t watch sunrises a lot. What about you?”

“I used to.” The man shrugged, and Izuku caught a glimpse of his boney hands crossed loosely against the railing. “Work would call me in at night, and I always thought it was one of the only good things about being woken up at three in the morning.”

Izuku hummed, his mind drifting to heroes’ irregular hours. Maybe he’d see the sunrise more when he became a hero. He thought this man’s philosophy sounded pretty neat.

“Why’d you come to the beach?”

The man sighed and slumped, his eyes falling back to the trash mountain. “I’m new in town, and when I heard about this, I couldn’t believe it.” He stood up straighter to gesture out at the beach. “But it’s real. It stumps me, young man. No bored heroes? No community-minded students?”

Izuku stared with him, frowning as he thought about it. It would probably be a great place for class projects. But then, so much of the junk was too big for elementary and middle schoolers. He didn’t know much about the high schoolers yet, but they were probably busy. Still...

“Should...we?”

“You and I?” The too-thin finger that pointed between the pair of them made him second-guess his words, but he squared his shoulders and steadied his nerves.

“Yeah. We could at least get the small stuff, and then maybe if people see us working on it, they’ll help with the big stuff.”

The sun was well up by the time Yagi-san’s truck was full of things to take to the dump. A yawn cracked Izuku’s jaw, and he scrubbed at his eyes. He stopped abruptly.

“Ah! Oh no!”

“What is it, young Midoriya?”

“The note I left for Mom just said I was going to the store! It’s been hours!”

“Breathe, young man.” When Izuku did as he was told, Yagi-san smiled. There was something familiar about it, and Izuku managed to give him a small smile in return. “Would you like a lift home?”

“I’d really appreciate that, thank you!” He bowed quickly. They talked idly on the way home - Yagi-san asked if there was a reason he was having trouble sleeping, and Izuku said no; he asked whether he’d been going to get candy or fruit, and he’d sheepishly admitted to a candy craving. That was about as far as they got before Izuku had to point out the apartment building to Yagi-san, though.

“Young man...if your mother says it’s alright, would you mind coming back with me? It might do me good to have a project, but I was injured a while ago, and I could use some help.”

“I’d love to help! I don’t think I even knew that walkway was there! I’ll ask her!” Izuku took off like a shot.

*****

“Young Midoriya! Is it that time of year already? I was surprised when your mother said you would have some time during the week!”

Izuku nodded, humming affirmatively. “Now I just have to study for entrance exams!” He announced.

“Oh! Where are you applying?”

“UA,” he admitted, running a sheepish hand through his hair.

“Which program?”

“Well, my plan is the hero course, but...” Memories of his scolding from Kamui Woods and Death Arms washed over him again. “I’m taking the General Studies exam, too.”

“A back-up plan. So you’re the strategic sort.” There really was something comforting about Yagi-san’s smile. It warmed Izuku from the inside out. He grinned back.

“I’m going to try really hard on the hero course exam, though.” He shook himself, banishing the uncertainty that had been creeping in. “Let’s see if we can get that refrigerator by working together, Yagi-san!” He pointed.

“Aye-aye, Captain!” Izuku grinned at the English words.

#my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #writing #fic #canon divergence #midoriya izuku #all might #yagi toshinori #unpolished

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beecherdrysdale · 3 years

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Hiii how are you ? I fell down the stairs today and cried for a minute straight #hormones. Dw I have a high pain tolerance but I just started sobbing lol. It happens. LONG post ahead, I kinda went off hehe.

Anyways let’s get started!! Yes quinton gets to be upfront because he would probably feel so uncomfortable(no offence) with all the sexual tension going on there if dyl or jamie were in the front hehe. But yes they would be bitchy about who gets to sit upfront “ no Jamie it’s mine turn to sit with Brigid” “ no it’s my turn dylan you just sat with her” so brigid would get fed up and banishes them to the back hehe. Lmao Brigid can we listen to Katy perry now? The silence!! And then no can we listen to Lady Gaga?. Quinton trying not to lose it in the front seat. If I had to chose tho I would chose lady gaga:) wbu?

Get ready to be beat! Yes Ryan is absolutely not sitting upfront w me! We would be crazy and I wanna win so. Quinner is sitting up front w me but he decided to be .... and I’m banish him to the back. Braden is the most chill so he’s sitting upfront and giving me directions!! Haha dyl yelling at you to drive faster, but no I will beat both hehe;). Kesh who’s sitting up front w you? Would Kirby be handsy😏?. We would have to make so many stops lol. Like it’s just nostalgic for us, but new for you so it would be fun to make pit stops. and we would just be taking so many Instagram photos as a group and w our boys and together ! We love that ! “Wait wait wait Lexi pull over, I remember this place I wanna take photos” lol this is bad hehe.

Lmao yes, your hair would be so tangled!! They would be panicking a bit because they’re like omg she’s gonna be so mad.... honestly Ryan would just take the photo and then post it but then Dylan would repost it and then Jamie and then me lol. Honestly I kinda love when people just take videos of being in the car w like the scenery showing, but this would include us laughing and listening to music! I hope they makes sense. Hehe Ryan or Dylan would probably take photos of Braden, cozzy and devon sleeping and would post it. Back to the hair: hehe yes I can see you giving them a death glare when you realize and your getting mad and would hide. I’m just imagining this in my head, like me pulling over and you running out of the car and quinton and devon fixing your hair lol. Somebody would be filming this no doubt.

Music wise, yes I love blasting music and people looking but it’s kinda a flex when they see who we are with.... I like rap too! What song do u like Brigid?. Country will be played and 2000’s which is fun! I’m good with anything !. Kesh I love hype up songs as well and bass heavy songs because they sound good on speakers hehe. I’ve been into Rihanna for the past week and I was working out to her music- where have you been, rude boy, bitch better have my money lol, pon de replay hit different but also S&M for some sexiness. Lmao sorry I’m just listing Rihanna songs that I love atm. What are your fav songs right now? Awww dancing on the side of the road is so soft, but everybody needs a dance break! Cozzy, Devon and Braden are some how still passed out, I admire that. Late night drives🥺 are we spicing this up 😏.

Hehe you and devon are swamped w emails and more and you’re like kirby can you please go w them we need somebody to watch them. Als yes quinton go take those hot photos . I admire Dylan’s sleep schedule, like good job on catching up on sleep. Kirbys just trying to sweet talk you and kiss you so that you wouldn’t be mad. All in all, kesh is just shocked like how is that possible? Lmao Brigid, Ryan and I w the shopping cart just stocking up on popcorn, chips m&ms, I love that. Jamie and Dylan are racing each other to see who can grab the most cereal and made sure that they are getting the correct ones for Brigid. Honestly all the boys are just confused about how grocery shopping works hehe. The crackhead energy. Kirby is panicking. We literally bought out all the snacks. Beaver tails are delish and I know where you can get them so 😃. I want to stuff Quinner’s mouth w beaver tails cuz that’s cute:) yes healthy food is a must, like fruits, veggies, rice cakes hehe. But remember that we are going to workout on this vacay hehe. After the grocery store we would go into the mall or something and the boys would just be wanting to buy video games 😂 and ps5’s. Also kesh I love how some of the boys are just trying on clothes. Why do I get a feeling that one of the boys would just be filming all of this?

The chirping will happen nonstop, I’m sorry it’s just to much inspo. Aww yes they are blushing real hard, cuz they like you soooo much. But Brigid is enjoying touching them so no prob.

The boat is a must and it is happening!! Hehe yes the tubing would be chaotic, everybody is just trying to get each other to fall in 😂. Ryan thinks that he’s getting away w pushing me in but SIKE you are coming with me. So then we’re just fighting in the water. Quinner would be like where did they go?. Hehe brigid gets so wrapped up in laughing at us that Braden pushes her in haha. Yes we all look super hot in our bikinis, and the boys are speechless! Like dyl and Jamie are just like wow, she looks so amazing! And Kirby is so in love w you, he’s like I’m the luckiest man ever. I’m still gonna make sure that I wear a non tie bikini so that it doesn’t untie, like one time I was in the boat and my friend pulled on the string and the entire thing untied and I just jumped in the water to retie. That is not happening again lol. Quinner would be mad hehe. Idk I’m seeing Brigid in a black bikini or maybe a dark blue one? It would match your eyes?. Kesh in a red one or yellow and me maybe in a green one or just black lol. Hehe yes kesh and Kirby are just doing cute couple stuff and keeping an eye out but we are to chaotic to maintain .

Hehe yes ig we are clingy but cute drunks but I get kinda wild when I drink so the body shots would def happen. It would be hot tbh. Yes somebody do body shots w Brigid. Dylan would step up first, and he would be enjoying it and then Jamie sees and is like no it’s my turn so he does it and in the end it’s just a competition and you all get drunk hehe. Kesh and Kirby are the parents of the clubbing trip no offence.. like wanna go help cozzy and devon? Hehe lol I could just be dancing w Brigid and the boys would get jealous and one of them would just come up and be like excuse may I cut in, and i would be like tf but then they give me a glare and I go dance sexy with Quinner or crazy w Ryan. Kesh and Kirby should dance at least at one point during this time. We all look hot btw :)

Hehe yay I can be friends w Dylan :) I want that friendship to happen tbh. but he’s getting jealous but I’m like let them have their moment, so I distract him a bit w talking.

Girls day is a must! I wanna hang out w you so badly. Some cute clothing will be bought! Ooo yes us modelling and them being in awe. Oo kesh a different modelling show w the boys 😏. The boys are getting handsy esp Dylan and Jamie hehe. And they are super protective so no other guy at the club gets any ideas. After tho it’s biker shorts, sweat pants and hoodies type of vacay lol .

Thank you for reading ! Hope you enjoy mes chéries💗🌸

yes ok so loooong post ahead people

oof that tough falling down the stairs lol. honestly i’m not doing to great right now bc i did not do as well as i wanted at my meet, so now i’m in a funky headspace. but hopefully answering this ask will help, and i can get my shit together before my events tomorrow (which are actually my important events)

haha yes dyl and jamie would just be arguing like “no it’s my turn to sit in front, no you just did it’s my turn” lmao. and then whenever they’re sitting in the front there’s just too much tension for quinton to deal with lol. so then i feel bad for quinton so i banish the other guys to the back and let him sit in the front hehe. and i’m just ignoring the other guys and refuse to play either of their music and i let quinton pick. and if we purposely pick songs we know the other guys hate, that’s a secret we’ll never tell. oof between those two idk, probably lady gaga, but again we’re not playing music jamie and dyl like lol.

haha no, you get ready to get beat. i’m like an INSANE driver when i want to be. and ofc dylan is just yelling at me “faster brigid, hurry tf up! we have to beat everyone” so then we’re just zooming. but then obviously you’re doing your best to keep up so you have to banish ryan to the back so he doesn’t distract you. and then you let quinner sit up front until he starts getting too handsy bc you’re like no i won’t let myself get distracted. so then braden’s up front giving directions and trying to get you to go faster, but i’m still winning lol. and then kesh is also still in the race, and she and kirby are just chilling in the front bc everyone else’s asleep. ooooh yes making lots of pit stops bc nostalgia for all of you canadians. and then me and kesh are just seeing all the sights for the first time. oooooh yes all the cute insta pics we could take

ooooh yes people taking vids of like the music and scenery would be so cute to post as stories. and ofc all of us laughing and stuff, that would be so cute. anyways yes, my hair would be a hugeeee knot. and i would just give them the death glare, like you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. and jamie and dyl just try to hide from me, like they run away as soon as the car is stopped. and then devon and quinton fix it for me, god bless their souls. like i’m sorry, bc even i wouldn’t want to deal with that. ik how my hair can get. and this would be allllll over everyone’s stories ofc lmao

ok yessss our music game is on point tbh. ok so for rap, the artists i’m really into rn are juice wrld (rip i actually loved him sm), kid laroi (who learned from juice, so he sounds a lot like him), trippie redd, mgk, and nf. also iann dior, but he’s not so much rap as r&b. honestly any of their songs slap. and then ofc country and early 2000′s. and any music with good bass, but i think a lot of the artists i said have that. ooooh yes getting out to have a dance party on the side of the road. hehe it could be really crazy. or alternatively, it could be when you’re out on a late night drive and there’s a slow song on the radio and you guys just get out and slow dance to the song together no this is not at all inspired by the song slow dance in a parking lot anyways yes late night drives are so cute. but then of course they can get spicy 😏 in case you couldn’t tell i’m always down for it to get spicy lmao

haha yes quinton and dylan c. honestly have their priorities straight. and devon and kesh are swamped with director duties, so that leaves kirby in charge. so then ofc when we get home kirbs tries to sweet talk kesh, but she’s just not having it. she’s just like how? anywaysssss at the store we have the most duo of ryan and lexi, plus now i’m added into the mix, and it’s just a mess. like we buy a shit ton of popcorn, pretzels, chips, candy, etc. and we literally bought half the store’s supply of everything lmao. and then dyl and jamie are just in the cereal aisle trying to grab as much cereal as they can. whichever one of them gets we chocolate mini wheats i will love forever. and then kirby’s getting healthy food bc yk he’s trying to be responsible. so then kesh has to explain that his whole job was to make sure everyone else was getting healthy food, not just get it himself lmao. but honestly none of the guys actually know what they’re doing lmao. and then we obviously have to get beaver tails to so lexi and quinner can have a moment, but idk where you get those lol. but yes we will be working out a ton on this vacay, so it’s ok that we have sm junk food lol. and then after we’re done with food, the guys decide to wander the mall and then they just buy a ton of video game and then they’re trying on clothes lol. and yes obvi they’re videoing the whole thing bc they’re secretly middle school girls who want to have a blog lmao

hehe yes me getting chirped the whole trip, esp the boat day. and the guys are getting so embarrassed about it, but i just don’t care lmao. and then the whole boat day is so chaotic obvi. when ryan pushes lexi in, quinner will come back and just be confusion lmao. like where’s lexi. and then i’m dying laughing and then braden sneaks over and pushes me in lol. but yes we all look amazing in our bikinis. like kirby is just so in love with kesh and thinks she looks gorgeous 😍 and then dyl and jamie are just like damn you look hot about me lol bc we’re horny ones on this trip apparently. and i’ll wear a tie-back jolyn bc they actually stay on lol. and then ofc quinner thinks lexi looks super good, but then she tells the story about the last time she wore a tie-back and he’s just like why didn’t you do it again? lmao. ooooh for bikinis i like a black top with a print on the bottoms idk why. and then you guys in whichever color you want. also yes kesh and kirby are trying to be responsible during this, but it’s just not working lol

haha yep i can definitely see you and quinner being wild drunks together (it’s more like when the alcohol is wearing off that you guys get really clingy) so obvi you guys start doing body shots. and ofc it turns into a jamie/dyl competition bc what doesn’t? and then me and lexi are just dancing sexy together, yk like two drunk girls do, and then dyl or jamie tries to come over and cut in and at first you won’t let them but then you finally give in and go dance with quinner instead. and then yeah, no offense kesh and kirby, but y’all are the parents here. like making sure we don’t do anything too too dumb lmao. and also being a wingman for some of the other guys. but you guys def dance together at least a little bit too. and obvi we all look hot

yessss i feel like you and dyl could be super chaotic friends too. so the two of you are just chilling together and then you have to distract him lol, but then after that you have a different chaotic friend for when ryan’s not available lmao

yes yes yes, girl’s day would be so fun. and then we get a ton of cute new clothes so obvi we have to model them. and they’re all just in awe, like those are our girls. but then we also do private modeling shows 😏 and we all know how that ends. and then when we’re in our clubbing clothes obvi they are getting super protective over us bc we look so hot and we’re their girls, so no other guys can get ideas. but then once they’re drunk they’re handsy as hell lol. but then the rest of the vacay ends ups spent in hoodies, sweats, and athletic shorts lol. and obvi some of the guys’ clothes

ughhhh i love this, the whole thing was amazing. 10/10

#ask answered #anon answered #skating anon

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theprodigypenguin · 6 years

Text

Make Peace: Part 2/4

Ratings: violence, blood, angst, mention of death, fan headcanons, fluff

Pairings: James Griffin/Keith Kogane (slight sheith)

Notes: part 2, again a repost because I suck at using tumblr, enjoy

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4(final)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He used to be small, really small. All the clothes he would wear hung on him, as if they weren't his, and his eyes always looked... faded, like a graying sunset that used to be purple. They were always lowered, he never looked anyone in the eye, and if he did, it was with a glare of distrust. James never really understood the kid, but back then he didn't really care. Keith was just that extra child in the background who never looked at the camera during class photos, he was the one who didn't exist until he accidentally walked past the wrong people; and James used to be one of those people.

There were times he'd overhear the teachers talking in hushed voices about Keith, but when he was younger none of what they talked about made any sense to him. He wasn't able to comprehend the looks of pity, the way one would set a hand on their chest and sigh in somewhat exaggerated sadness.

"Such a shame, such a good man."

"Just an idiot if you ask me."

"What a selfish, selfish man."

"He left such an unruly child behind, how are we supposed to deal with his attitude?"

"Maybe it's just a phase."

Even when his sister picked him up after school that one day, smiling when she spotted James but frowning when Keith left the school at a slower pace, "Oh, that's him," James remembered her muttering, hand near her lips, "What a cute kid, he... looks so sad."

James just pouted as he stared at her before smiling, "Only cuz he's got no friends!"

His sister hadn't looked very happy about that statement, hands planting on her hips as she looked down at him, "Well someone needs to change that. Everyone needs friends. Can't you imagine how lonely he is?"

James just looked over at where Keith sat on the bottom of the steps leading to the school, noting the way he scooted to the side as a group of kids rushed out of the doors.

"Hey, maybe I'm pushing you a bit," James looked back as his sister crouched, a brilliant smile on her lips as she reached out to tussle the cowlick at the front of his hair, "If you were lonely, wouldn't you want friends?"

"I have friends though."

She sighed, "I guess you're still too little to understand then. That's okay. Just one thing," she framed his face with both hands, squeezing his cheeks, "You never know what someone is going through, so be kind. That boy," she looked over at Keith, so did James, "he's a kid and already understands suffering."

"Why...?"

"You'll figure it out one day," she stood up then, fixing the front of the uniform she wore, grinning down at him, "Let's go home."

Was this what she meant when she said Keith already understood suffering? It didn't really make sense. Even now. This guy... he was the best pilot in class, he excelled in everything, he even had the approval of Takashi Shirogane, maybe the greatest pilot of the century. James remembered his sister idolized him, and James ended up following in her footsteps. Meeting Shiro at school that day, showing up to test possibly Garrison recruits, all James could think of was that he could fly with his sister.

He was good on the simulator. Then Keith just had to take a seat and blow everyone away with no effort at all. It... wasn't fair. James managed to get a spot as a cadet, but he was still bitter about it. Stupidly bitter, he realized that now. He just wanted to make his sister proud, but this short ass mullet was getting in the way. She would rave about the cadets of course, including James, but he also tasted something bitter when she brought up Keith.

Keith was the only cadet in class that met the standards of a perfect pilot aside from James. Maybe it was more of a one sided rivalry. Back then Keith didn't seem to care about a damn thing. He yawned during lectures and slept through class, while still getting perfect scores, as if he taught himself through the night because he didn't like the teachers. There were only two classes he didn't sleep through and actually seemed to care about, both classes they shared as they were both classed as candidates for future fighter pilots.

The first class was directly based about the fighter class, taught by the best fighter pilot the Garrison had produced in years. The second, of course, had been a course taught by Shiro. Keith always paid attention in Shiro's class. He was on his way to becoming the next best pilot of the Garrison, the teachers all called him the best pilot of his generation, and it made James... so fucking mad, because he'd gotten this title without even trying.

Then the prick had to go and get himself expelled like an idiot, disappearing for seven years at least, and when he comes back? He's the leader of Voltron, pilots one of the most miraculous war ships James had ever come across, battle hardened and much more level headed than he used to be. Now this, throwing himself in front of James as a human shield during a mission that was supposed to last less than half the day.

Why? Was it some stupid Paladin quirk to sacrifice themselves for no reason?

James could hardly see the oddly skinned Galra standing across the street, holding what had to be some kind of hand canon that shot the same ion blasts as their cruisers. Just from feeling the force beating against the air around him, he knew the blue shield Keith held wasn't going to last, and when it shattered all James knew was that Keith was going to get hit and there was nothing he could do to help.

He grabbed the Paladin when he staggered back and started to fall, catching him around the shoulders before he could hit the ground and crouching down to get a better grip with his right arm as his left hand hovered. Keith seemed to lose consciousness instantaneously from the hit, the left side of the black shirt he wore beneath his red accented armor was torn, the edges charred, showing a deep gaping wound that poured blood. The gauntlet he'd been using on his left arm had been destroyed, the glove burned off and leaving bits melted to Keith's skin, the sleeve torn at his elbow.

"Oh man," James breathed out, head turning abruptly when he heard footsteps, gaping with teeth clenched as the Galra paced into the street.

"What's this, a Paladin of Voltron? Must be my lucky day," he lifted a hand, heavily bandaged, and it was the sight of those bandages that had James thinking the alien had been here since the last fight with Sendak.

He'd probably crashed here and had been stuck for the past few months.

"Who the hell are you?" James asked, reaching back for his gun and aiming it towards the Galra, "What do you want? Are you the one powering the robots?"

"With a limited power source, I'm afraid," the alien answered, "My fighter was damaged in the crash, and the range of my distress signal can only reach so far. I'm lucky, you humans haven't replaced those primitive satellites yet. Makes it easier to not get caught."

"That's why we can't contact the Garrison here," James murmured to himself, raising his voice to add, "Your signal interferes with our comms!"

"Took you a bit. I've been stuck here for months, trying to get a message to any cruiser close-by, but I don't have the power!" he held his hands up, grinning widely, yellow eyes glinting, "But if I could re-purpose the Altean tech in that Paladin's suit... not only could I return to the Fire of Purification, but I would be promoted the instant I drop his mangled body at Sendak's feet!"

"Sendak is dead!" James yelled, "You've been out of touch with the war for a while, because it's been over for months!"

The Galra's smile was gone now, replaced by a wild expression James couldn't really pick out through the pure yellow of his eyes.

"And one more newsflash, you're not getting close enough for the Altean tech," James added the final part on impulse, lifting his gun higher and shooting towards one of the buildings the Galra was standing beside.

It was already tilting on axis, with a single shot, it started to crumble, and the Galra turned sharply with a gasp. Thankfully distracted, James swung his gun onto his back where it hung by the strap across his chest, snatching both the broken gauntlet and Keith's helmet before dragging Keith to his feet. Still unconscious, the most James could do was drag him across the street as the hostile creature behind him screamed in frustration, doing his best to avoid the collapsing building.

James managed to drag Keith behind a building before it started to get difficult to simply drag him, and he stopped so he could swing the gun off his back, shuffling around and struggling until he'd dragged Keith onto his back instead, the Paladin's arms hanging limply over his shoulders and head cushioned against the back of his neck. It took a bit of maneuvering to get a hold of the busted Paladin armor as well as his gun, but when he had everything, and a good hold on Keith, James started to walk again.

"Can't contact anyone, can't get to the MFE's," James narrated to himself, eyes panning the area quickly for something, anything that could be useful to them, gasping a little in relief when he caught sight of a building in the distance.

It was tall, maybe the tallest in the town, and looked to be in good shape, amazingly. James started to walk faster, running as much as he could manage, which wasn't easy while giving someone a piggyback ride.

"Damn you weigh a ton," James panted, skirting around the perimeter of the building to search for a way inside, "Hang on a bit more, fat-ass, I'll check your wounds when we're somewhere more secure.

It took longer than James wanted to find a way inside, and he had to put Keith down in order to kick the door down, dragging the still unconscious pilot into the building before setting the door back up and shoving a table in front of it for some sort of extra security. He didn't stop or even start to calm down until he'd walked almost ten flights of stairs, his legs aching under the extra weight.

When he was certain they weren't being tracked or followed, he found the closest room and pushed it open with a foot, shuffling inside and looking around to make sure it was decent before stepping inside, closing the door with a click and immediately setting Keith onto his feet, turning to hold him around the shoulders so he wouldn't just fall on his face and dragging him towards the window before lying him down.

"Can't believe this," James leaned forward on his hands once he;d gotten Keith settled, taking a moment to catch his breath with closed eyes, "This was an utter failure of a mission. It was supposed to be easy, why'd I get stuck with this kind of bullshit end game?"

He leaned back and sat on his heels, head tilting so he could look down at Keith, then looked down to check his own clothes, cringing when he noticed the large stain of blood on the left side of his suit.

"Right," he breathed, unzipping the front of the jumpsuit and tying it around his waist to keep it from falling off, leaving him in just a white t-shirt and the bottom half of his MFE suit, then began searching his pockets for anything he could use to help stem Keith's heavy bleeding.

Not finding anything, he stood up, stepping over Keith and rummaging through the room for supplies. It must have been a business building of some sort, the most James was able to find were some old shirts and a janitors uniform, but there was nothing else in the room. Unfortunately, James didn't think it was a good idea to leave Keith lying there as he went exploring, so he settled for what little he'd found and hurried back over.

A dusty cushion from a broken armchair was the best James could do to pillow Keith's head, taking a confusing moment to pull off the confusing armor covering Keith's chest and shoulders and setting it aside before folding up the old uniform and pressing it down against the wound in his stomach.

"Okay, you've trained for situation's like this," James muttered to himself, pulling the cloth away for a moment to check the wound before tearing at the fabric around it to widen the gap and see the wound better, cringing, "Step one, regulate and stabilize condition of the wounded. Check over supplies, test communications, get my bearings. This is no big deal, not the first time I've been in a sticky situation."

He pressed the cloth back against the ugly wound, lips evening into a tight line when Keith flinched unconsciously with a broken whine, "Haven't been stuck with a moron before, but no big deal."

It took a while to clean the wound. They had limited supplies, very little water, only a few protein bars for food, and the shirts James had found weren't exactly the cleanest most sanitary bandages, but he made do as he carefully got a tiny corner of the cloth wet so he could clean the blood from around the wound, then pressed the folded shirt against Keith's side before tying it in place with a second shirt that he tore into strips.

Keith's arm wasn't as bad as his side was, maybe because he'd had the gauntlet protecting most of him, but there were deep splotches of third degree burns covering the back of his hand and arm, and they couldn't have felt pleasant. Cold water would probably feel fantastic on the burns, but they couldn't afford to lose that much, so James settled on simply wrapping Keith's arm with torn strips of old shirt.

James was rummaging in one of the pouches on his suit when Keith began to stir, cringing as his head lolled to the side, a confused mumble on his lips as his indigo eyes peeled open, the pupil incredibly small and almost cat-like. James almost freaked out, but they changed so quickly that he sat there for a moment wondering if he was going insane.

"You conscious?" James asked, watching the way Keith was staring blearily across the room at the wall, blinking at the sudden question and rolling his head to make it easier to stare up at James.

He looked sleepily confused, eyes wavering away from James' face so he could stare up at the ceiling. James could see the wheels turning in his head, trying to remember what happened, before his eyes snapped wider and he bolted upright with a gasp that caught on a painful choke, hand flexing and grabbing at his side as he curled forward in on himself.

"Hey, easy, lie back down," James grabbed his shoulders, pulling his lip between his teeth upon feeling the shudder of Keith's entire body beneath his fingers, "Okay, take it slow, lie back."

Keith didn't protest much as James pushed him back, eyes pinched closed and teeth grit as his head fell back a little, and James curled his hand to the back of his neck to keep it up as he eased Keith back down to lie against the cushion. Keith still trembled, and James took another look at the sloppy bandaging he'd done.

The shirt had been soaked through with blood already, and they didn't have much in the ways of bandages. There was really nothing else to be done, so James reached over to brush aside Keith's hand, using his own to put pressure against his side. Keith protested that with a grunt, jolting against the ground and clawing the back of James' hand weakly.

"I said take it easy already, you're still bleeding, I'm trying to help."

"What... happened?" Keith asked in a cracking voice, and James exhaled heavily through his nose.

"There was an actual Galra here, he was the one powering the sentries and drones," Keith closed his eyes, free hand running over his face with a curse on his lips, "I think he's using his broken fighter to power sentries as a safety firewall. We were so distracted by the bots we didn't notice-."

"I noticed," Keith croaked, "I should have realized sooner. Quiznak... I should have pulled us after the first wave, Shiro and I should have realized. Damn it, damn it."

"Calm down, there's no way we could have predicted this."

"Yes there is."

"Okay fine, well you were the one too one distracted tracing blast marks in the sides of buildings to pay attention then!" James snapped, and Keith stared blankly at the ceiling like he was trying to remember when that happened, "Look, I think that freak beat you up enough for the both of you, so quit whining and try to fix it."

Keith's brow furrowed and he moved to sit up, only for James to push him back, "Not now, you idiot! Are you trying to kill yourself?!"

"What am I supposed to do then?"

"Let me handle it while you rest," James ordered sharply as Keith settled back, looking frustrated, "I pulled us out of the street and into this abandoned building, so far they haven't been able to find us. It's been quiet."

"Helmet," Keith rolled his head one side, then the other, cringing as he reached out for his red helmet, "I... need to contact Shiro, tell him what happened."

"Couldn't you call your space war ship... thing?"

Keith dragged his helmet over with a grunt, "My head... I can't think clearly. If we're lucky it'll just show up, but I can't... concentrate. I need Shiro."

James sighed and picked up the helmet to bring it closer to Keith, who attempted to push himself up again, wincing as he propped himself against the wall, taking the armor and pulling it over his head before lifting his left arm, cringing at the bandages and using the gauntlet on his right arm instead.

Keith managed to activate the visor over his eyes, which automatically scanned the room, zeroing in on James who was kneeling close to his side. Stats popped up automatically and Keith looked over them on instinct. Bruised ribs, likely from being thrown into a newspaper stand, but other than that no notable injuries. Keith was silently grateful for that bit of luck and turned his attention to activating the comm line in his helmet.

"Contacting the Galaxy Garrison, or Atlas, this is the MFE Aries Alpha team calling in. The mission's taken a wrong turn and backup is requested along with an extraction," white noise answered Keith, and he grit his teeth together, "Shiro, are you there? Lance? Pidge? Guys?"

More white noise, and Keith tugged the helmet off, dropping it before lying back down, running both hands over his face and into the fringe of his hair, "Damn it..."

"The canon blast probably interfered with the tech in your suit," James guessed, picking the helmet up again, "Your left gauntlet is shattered too. It's still working it looks like, but there's just not enough range because of the interference from the Galra distress signal. Our comms, and his, are cancelling each other out."

"So what do we do, brainiac?" Keith asked, eyes shut, and James seemed to consider it before his shoulders sagged.

"... I don't know. I'm a fighter, not a nerd. Numbers aren't really my forte. Maybe I can think of something given enough time to actually consider all our options, but right now we're sitting ducks," he set the helmet down and turned to lean against the wall next to Keith, pulling his knees close and crossing his arms over them, staring at the blotches of blood staining his fingers from his attempt at helping the Black Paladin.

"Fine...," Keith said softly, seemingly losing energy, and James glanced down at him, fingers curling towards his palms, to see his eyes drooping, "If you can't think of anything to get us out... we still have to finish the mission."

"What, how do you plan on doing that?"

"I might be able to trigger something in my suit to set off the tech," Keith mumbled, and James knitted his brow.

"You're gonna blow yourself up?"

Keith just shut his eyes, "I don't have the energy to get myself to the MFE out of town."

"I'll carry you."

"Sure, for how long?" he sighed, head rolling away from James, "It's fine, not like I haven't been in this kind of position before."

"A position where the only option is to be a martyr?" James demanded, and Keith's eyes slid open.

"I've been in a lot of shitty situations... some of my training up there, taught me that sometimes... the good of the mission is a lot more important than my own well-being."

"Bullshit, who the fuck trained you?!"

Keith laughed at the question. He had no intention of answering of course. Till now he and the others had managed to keep Keith's heritage a secret from the rest of the Garrison, and the world. If they were to learn that he shared blood with the aliens that took so much, killed so many... he'd only just found common ground with Allura again. The idea of his own home world turning on him made him feel sick.

James settled back when it was clear the Paladin was done talking, lying his head back against the wall and staring at the cracks in the ceiling, wires sticking out from broken light fixtures that had long since stopped sparking.

"Be as rebellious as you want, that's not how I do my job," he decided, "I'm not leaving anyone behind, ever," Keith just chuckled at that, and James turned to glare down at him.

Keith looked horrible. His face was pale, pasty, almost tinted purple and yellow, and there were dark rings under his eyes, lips chapped. He was just... just lying there, his hand against the bandages on his side, his breath uneven and probably painful. James just watched him, tensing when his eyes snapped closed and he started to cough.

"Hold on a second," James turned onto his knees and picked the small canteen of water from where he'd set it, curling his other hand to the back of Keith's head to help prop him up as he bit the top off the bottle, "Easy, drink slowly."

Keith's eyes were mostly closed, and he turned his head a tiny bit as if he wanted to protest any of the water, though in the end he accepted it, one hand lifting up and fingers curling weakly around James' wrist, releasing him when he pulled the water away.

"Better?"

"... yea..."

"You should try and get some sleep," James said, lying Keith back down, "I'll keep thinking of ways to get out of this, and I mean ways we both get out of this. We can try to contact the Garrison again a little later."

"Right." Keith agreed softly, eyes closing, "Thank you."

James stayed in place for a moment, hovering over Keith, until his breathing had evened out a bit, which relaxed him enough to sit back against the wall in the same position as before, arms crossed over his lifted knees and eyes on the ceiling. He felt helpless, the blood on his hands was heavy, and even though Keith didn't exactly sleep long, or peacefully, it was agonizing to sit there in silence, unsure of what to do.

Keith slept for maybe an hour, his breathing even but ragged, until he started to flinch and groan, eyes snapping open and jolting up like he'd done before, eyes wild as the bayard formed into his hand, startling James into falling sideways as the Paladin swung the weapon.

"Whoa! Hey!" James hurried over to grab Keith by the wrist, holding his shoulder, "Calm down, you're okay!"

Keith blinked rapidly, lifting his other hand to rub his eyes before squinting at the area in front of him, bayard fading after a moment and sagging back so James had to wrap his arm around his shoulders.

"... sorry..."

"It's... fine," James said, though he wasn't really sure if it was fine at all, lying Keith back down, "How are you feeling?"

Keith seemed to consider the question, hand slipping over to feel the make-shift bandages wrapped around him, eyes narrowing a bit and lips evening into a tight line, "I'm fine," he lied, and it was so obviously a lie, but James just rolled his eyes and sat back against the wall.

"Sure you are," he huffed, arms folded as he stared up through the window beside them, at the graying sky and silver lined clouds, "It'll be night soon, go back to sleep."

"Can't."

"Why not?"

"Bad dreams."

James blinked and tore his gaze away from the sky to gape down at Keith, who looked even worse off than he had an hour ago. Even the tone of his voice sounded strange, and James reached out to feel his forehead, cringing as Keith rolled his eyes closed.

"You're burning up..."

"Sorry."

"What- don't apologize," James snapped, pulling his hand away, "Damn it all. We can't stay here much longer, not with you like this," he looked out the window, "Maybe we can make a run for it, I'll carry you back to the MFE-."

"No good," Keith breathed, "Too far away, there are still sentries, I can't help in a fight. We'll never make it."

"So you want to just lie here and die then?" Keith was silent as if he was actually considering the benefits of dying there, and James turned fully to glare at him, "For the last fucking time, I do not leave people behind. I don't care what it is you Paladin's do when one of you us hurt, I will never leave someone from my team behind."

"Course we help," Keith mumbled, eyes glassy, "Don't be stupid."

"You're the one who wants to die here! Who's stupid now?!"

"Loud."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" James touched Keith's burning temple again, "Christ. At least you aren't being a total prick right now. Though I think I prefer that."

He reached for the water canteen, pulling the top off and setting it aside before propping Keith's head up so he could pour the water into his mouth, "Drink."

Keith reached a hand up to block the canteen, "How much water do we have? What supplies do we have?"

"Don't worry about that and drink."

"What about you?"

"I have some for myself," James lied, but Keith bought it, lowering his hand and staring blankly across the darkening room as he drank.

James didn't need water. He had food, that was enough, Keith was the one who needed the extra attention. At this point he was worried about letting Keith so much as sleep, worried that he might not wake up, so even if he wanted the idiot to rest, he'd have to try and keep him conscious, for a bit at least.

What was there to talk about though? James and Keith had never been friends, he was pretty sure they didn't even have much in common. What right did he have anyway? He blew Keith off just that morning when he was trying to start a conversation, and now he was the one wanting to talk? What a hypocrite.

"What's it like up there?" James asked, still kneeling, holding the canteen, one hand lingering against Keith's forehead, "In space I mean."

Keith opened his eyes, almost impossible to see through the dimming light, but James didn't want to risk trying to light the room in case that Galra was searching for them. The accents of Keith's armor glowed a dim blue, which gave light enough to still see his face, so that was good enough.

"It's... not like I expected it to be," Keith answered, "Lonely... big... but really... beautiful."

"Lonely, but weren't you with the other cadets, and those aliens?"

"For a bit," Keith sighed, "There were... complications. I wasn't always the Black Paladin."

"... explain."

"In the beginning, when we first came across the Blue Lion and found Allura and Coran, I was chosen to be the Red Paladin and fly the Red Lion. That's... the one Lance has now."

"I know what colors are, Keith. Why'd you change lions?"

Keith winced at the question, swallowing, "We lost Shiro."

"... what?"

"He... chose me to lead if anything were to happen to him. He disappeared, after a bad fight. We found him again, but by then I had already taken over for him as the Black Paladin. Allura was the Blue Paladin, Lance red... but... I wasn't ready to be a leader. I almost killed everyone because of how reckless I was. So I... left. I forced Shiro to rekindle his bond with the Black Lion, and when he'd taken his place again, I left to... train with some of our allies," James was stunned to say the least, even more surprised when Keith lifted a hand to cover his eyes, lips twisted up, "I didn't want to leave. I was lonely, but I didn't want anyone... to leave because of me. I didn't want to hurt anyone. It was better that way. I wasn't a leader, I wasn't what Shiro wanted, so I left."

"Keith..."

"After... I came back, and... I took over again, because this time I was ready... Shiro... stuff happened... almost lost him again. I'd rather die... and I was prepared to die, with him, but my bond with the Black Lion saved us. Somehow we managed to help Shiro, but he didn't even make a move to take over again. He seemed happy to just sit back, and I didn't want him pushing himself anymore as it was, so... I became the Paladin I am now, so he wouldn't have to push himself and hurt more."

"Keith... what happened up there?"

Keith was silent before pulling his hand down, revealing wet cheeks and un-shed tears rimming tired eyes, "Chaos. I'm not who I used to be."

"No, but... I mean, the new you doesn't suck as much as the old you. Old Keith would recklessly fuck around and get in trouble, cause problems for shits and giggles. New Keith, Black Paladin Keith, seems a lot more level headed."

Keith frowned at that, "Thanks."

James sighed, "Look, this situation sucks, but it's an excuse to... apologize to you, before I forget," Keith rolled his head to look at James, who sat back against the wall again, arms crossed over his knees, "Back then, I was kind of a mess, when we were kids I mean. There was a lot going on in my life that affected how I acted towards other people, and since I was just a dumb kid I couldn't even begin to comprehend the damage my words could have, or the consequences of how I acted, especially towards you. My older sister tried to get the message across to me more times than I can count, that I was acting like a prick, but I really didn't get it. I was a complete moron back then.

"It's just... lashing out seemed so normalized to me. My parents, they weren't exactly doting. Most of my life my sister was the one who raised me. My parents argued when they weren't ignoring each other, a few times my mom would lash out at my dad, my dad just completely neglected me... all I had was my sister. I figure since I grew up in that kind of environment, things like arguing and targeting people had become daily occurrences to me, necessary actions, which is even worse. Plus, I'll admit, I was threatened by you. That probably seems stupid, but...

"My sister, she was part of the Garrison. She was a fighter pilot, recruited straight from school like you and I were. It was her only chance to get away from our parents, and when she realized I might be able to get away and join her, she encouraged me to take the opportunity. I was just a kid so I didn't realize why she wanted me in the Garrison so badly, I just wanted to make her proud, but when you came along with this innate talent for flight, I panicked. I thought I'd never have a chance because of you, I'd never see my sister again, and when I was accepted into the Garrison I was honestly stunned.

"I was in, but I still lashed out at you, I said hurtful things, started fights with you, and it took me years to really comprehend the negativity of what I was doing. I realized how damaging my parents were as I got older, realized how my sister was trying to protect me from them, realized just how much of a monster I'd been towards you, and I regretted it. I've regretted it for a while, but you just had to get yourself kicked out of the Garrison before disappearing for four fucking years, so I lost the will to apologize at all."

James paused in his story, turning his hands up and rubbing a thumb over his right palm, "My sister... she was one of the best fighter pilots at the Garrison. When the Galra cruisers first showed up, Admiral Sanda sent out the fighters, including my sister... none of them made it back," Keith's eyes widened and James folded his arms across his knees, leaning forward, "I'm pretty sure my parents died sometime during the invasion, but I don't know, and frankly I don't care. I know... none of this excuses my actions, especially... what I said to you regarding your parents, but-."

"It's okay," Keith interrupted, and James glanced down to see he was staring at the ceiling, "My dad... he was, um... he was a fireman," the MFE pilot sat straighter, somewhat surprised, "He died in a fire, the roof collapsed on him... I had nowhere else to go so I ended up in a home, um... but it's really okay. I mean... before the Garrison, I didn't really think I was good at anything. My dad, he would always tell me I was special, that I was meant for great things, but when he died I stopped believing that. I thought I'd end up going down a road that would make him sad, that would disappoint him, but then Shiro came around, he... believed in me, gave me a second chance, and it's because of him that I'm the Black Paladin, that I'm not dead in a ditch somewhere. The Garrison... wasn't as much an escape for me as it was a haven. I wasn't running from something or hiding, I was searching... chasing something... chasing Shiro.

"I gave up... when he disappeared during the Kerberos mission. I fell back to how I used to be, acted out even more and got myself booted from the program. Shiro... when he came back and we reunited, he never asked about it, and he hasn't confronted me about getting expelled the way I had, but... I'm sure a part of him is disappointed in me. He stuck his neck out to get me a place in the Garrison after all, risked his own career to give me a chance at a future, and I just had to fuck it up."

"Man, you didn't fuck anything up," James argued, "So you weren't cut out for the Garrison's way of life and training, so what? Even without graduating, without full course training, despite getting expelled, look where you ended up."

Keith lifted his left hand to look at the thick blood staining his fingers, "Bleeding to death on the tenth floor of an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere with only my childhood bully for comfort?"

"No, punk ass, don't make me hit you. I meant in general. You're a good pilot, Keith, you're the best of our generation, you were always the best in our classes, you're a hundred times more skilled than I'll ever be... your dad was right. You were born for amazing things, and you're fulfilling a destiny beyond any normal human comprehension by piloting the Black Lion and leading Voltron. You're not just the savior of Earth, you're the defender of the universe, of all universes. You saved so many lives, you continue to save lives every day, and you call that a fuck up?!" Keith continued to stare blankly at the ceiling, though the tears that had been rimming his eyes had begun to flow over.

Making him cry was the last thing James wanted to do, frankly it was the last thing he ever expected to accomplish, and it certainly didn't feel like much of an accomplishment. Keith was probably feeling sensitive enough because of his injuries, his blood loss and especially his fever, it's likely whatever James said now would just make him cry more, but he had more to say, he couldn't just let it go unspoken. This, especially.

"Your father would be proud of you," James said, "and Shiro... he's definitely proud of you. All those years ago, he brought some rebellious kid into the Garrison out of pure assumption that it would work out, and you turned out to be a hero he probably could only dream about. You've got to be a million times what he ever guessed you could be. You met his expectations and more, Keith. That's not a fuck up."

Keith shut his eyes, "Why are you even talking like that?"

"I'm a leader," James answered, "It's my job to reassure the people on my team. You're a leader too, remember, shouldn't you already know that?"

That brought a short, painful laugh from Keith, which ended in a dry cough that had him cringing, "I'm still getting used to the whole... leadership concept."

James reached over without looking, setting a hand against Keith's forehead, thumb caressing across his temple, "You'll have plenty of time to really get used to it as soon as we get back to the Garrison. Till then, close your eyes again, rest. You'll need your strength. I'll keep thinking of how to contact the Garrison, but if I can't come up with anything by tomorrow, we're making a break for the MFE, and no, leaving you behind to go suicidal on the world is not an option."

Keith exhaled slowly, shutting his eyes as he seemed to relax even more into the cushion beneath his head, "I'll take your word for it. I've been through worse than this, so I guess it would be pretty embarrassing to just die here."

"Worse than this," James sighed, "You'll have to tell me a story or two when we get home."

"Depends on how long I'm going to be stuck in the infirmary ward at the Garrison. You might find it weird coming to visit me, considering our passionate rivalry against each other. People might think you're trying to kill you, and just a warning, my team can be protective," he chuckled gently, speaking next in a slow whisper, "Wait till you meet my mom."

James lifted his head and glanced down at Keith, who'd fallen asleep almost instantly, and just... stared at him. As far as he'd always understood, Keith was an orphan through and through. To even mention his mom, especially after describing his father's death? It... made James a bit suspicious, but at the same time he felt some kind of... electricity in his chest. Like pride.

He turned his head away, choosing to let the topic slide for now and simply let Keith rest, for as long as he could. Later, when he was on the road to recovery, back at the Garrison, then James could bring that whole "mom" thing up again, because he'd be lying if he said he wasn't ridiculously curious. Even if Keith had only brought it up because of pained delusion from his fever, James wasn't going to let it slide. Especially since it brought such a soft smile to the loners face.

"Rest. Try not to have nightmares. We'll be home soon, you have my word."

#jeith #jaith #james griffin #keith kogane #takashi shirogane #sheith #james/keith #shiro/keith #voltron legendary defender #fanfiction #i dont know why the keep reading option isnt showing up im mad #is it because its too long cuz im still mad

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sleepyssnail · 6 years

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How the Paladins do Christmas

Pidge: The Grinch who tried to Christmas

Is technically the first one up cuz they never went to sleep.

Has about ten papercuts from trying to wrap gifts.

Ends up with a mountain of gifts and won’t stop raving about everything.

“Pidge, we get you’re excited but it’s been three hours.” “Go away, do you know how much I’ve been wanting this? It can-”

Ends up falling asleep surrounded by their stuff.

Hunk: The literal Santa.

Spent too much on everyone’s presents but doesn’t care.

Also baked everyone their favorite pastries just because he could.

“I have peanut butter cookies for Pidge, and for Shiro, I have that black dark chocolate cake, and-”

Encourages everyone to dEStRoY the wrapping paper and leave nothing intact.

Always turns red and gets flustered when he has to open a gift himself.

Shiro: The Dad Patrol.

Is on his fifth cup of coffee and just wants to go back to bed for the next week.

Jumps on everyone for not keeping the wrapping paper in the trash bag.

“THROW THE TRASH AWAY OR I’LL STOP THE REST OF CHRISTMAS FROM HAPPENING.”

Receives roughly ten boxes of chocolate from everyone and a “World’s Best Space Dad” mug from “Santa.”

Ends up making pancakes for Christmas dinner for everyone because he’s too tired to cut up the ham/turkey.

Allura: No Budget Buyer

Has given everyone a brand new electronic device: tablet, iPod, etc.

Insists everyone keep their gifts and rips up the receipts in front of them

“Now you have to keep them. Merry Christmas!”

Is too happy when she is given a poorly wrapped package that contains a $15 gift card to a fast food joint.

Nearly starts crying when she hands out the cards she made and had laminated for everyone because she can’t express how happy she is.

Lance: The Enthusiast with no Limits

Started planning for Christmas the day after his birthday so that everything would be “PERFECT.”

Made everyone something knitted in addition to their store-bought gifts.

Focuses all his attention on the person who’s opening his gift to make sure he did well.

“EVERYONE SHUT UP! I think this fits you, if not I can fix that.” “Lance, how do you do this?” “I’m amazing, just like you.”

Uses the ripped up wrapping paper as snowballs and insists on throwing them at everyone only to get a gift bag put over his head.

Keith: The Nervous and Unwilling Participant.

Spent the entire month looking up what everyone might like only to panic and stress out about whether they’d actually want that before buying it anyways.

Doesn’t know how to act when he gets a present so he rips it open as fast as possible and tries not to freak out when it’s something he adores.

Gives everyone a can of silly string and forces everyone to have a fight with it before realizing it’s a pain to comb out of hair and get off clothes. He does it every year.

Nearly chokes when he realizes how expensive some gifts are and insists on returning them for something cheaper.

“I didn’t need this really, we can-” “Oops, there’s goes the receipt. It’s a gift, Keith. It’s yours, just appreciate it.”

Coran: The Camera Crew

Has been taking photos since everyone woke up and already has a vision for a page of everyone half awake in their PJs.

Forgets he has his own presents because he’s recording everyone opening theirs and is too proud of them.

Nearly cries when he’s presented with a group gift that’s a huge scrapbook with little inspirational comments everyone wrote in it.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever gotten.” “Coran do you need a tissue?” “I think the entire box might be a good idea cuz I have a feeling the old water works is gonna start acting up.”

Ends up making a fort and hiding under all the wrapping paper trash and insisting that only people with a mustache can enter his domain.

That’s all I have so far! Feel free to add on [don’t repost please] and have a Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays to those who don’t celebrate Christmas, HAVE A GREAT DAY!

#voltron #vld shitpost #voltron shitpost #voltron christmas #vld #shiro (voltron)#lance (voltron)#pidge (voltron)#Hunk (Voltron)#Allura (voltron)#keith (voltron)#Coran (voltron)#christmas #merry christmas #im keith #really i am no lie #tag who you are #internet cupcakes for you

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fishingforseabass · 4 years

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Black people have been talking about Adele's hair appropriation since that picture dropped and the idea that she's not getting any heat from it is probably coming from nonblack people who don't follow Black people on Twitter. Let's dead this comparison to Alejandra cuz it's bullshit- signed, a Black woman tired of seeing nonblack women in our hairstyles.

My SM accounts are literally only marvel and Seb related so I really don’t know how much heat Adele has been getting. I know some people are saying it was appreciation to the nothing hill festival but I feel like she could’ve shown support for the culture without appropriating it. I guess the hairstyle didn’t register to me until someone pointed it out, so thank you for doing that! I think black hairstyles especially have been appropriated by people so much that we sort of become immune to it which is wrong and we need to fix it! I’m sorry you had to go through this, I know how it feels to get your culture appropriated

*If something about Adele does pop up or if people want to send me stuff about her I’d be happy to repost on my blog to show support and hopefully educate people further.

#asks

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literateape · 7 years

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Dragging Dad, Kicking and Screaming into the Future [A Repost But Worth It...]

By Don Hall

Disclaimer: Yes. This is a repost from two years ago (thus the references to Caitlyn Jenner and Rachel Dolezal) but things haven't changed that much in that time and I was thinking about this very idea the other day and realized I'd already covered this ground a while back.

I was confused.

A friend casually laid out that another friend was "queer." In my grasp of the language, that meant she was gay. I was confused because her boyfriend was a friend as well so I asked him, "Is she gay? Bisexual? I never knew that..."

A week later, they're all making fun of dad because no one updated him on the new meaning of "queer" as being an umbrella term for a sexual perspective that is specifically non-hetero or cisgendered rather than narrowly reclaimed as gay—whatever the fuck any of that means. And dad was kind of pissed because the random changing of terms followed by condescension when confronted with someone not in the loop was infuriating. But the condescension was really what was infuriating.

"Fine," I said. "I'm heretofore redefining the term 'pedophile' as a 'lover of chocolate.' Why? Because I can, that's why?"

Yes. I realize I can't unilaterally change the meaning of pedophile.

New (undisclosed) definitions. Confusion as how to apply them. Condescension. Anger.

Pretty crappy cycle considering that the point of an evolving language is communication not power dynamics.

The mental picture (provided by my wife) is that the kids are taking dad to the future and want to get there now but can only move as fast as dad can move and he is slow and confused. Being a white man in his fifties, I guess I'm the dad in the metaphor and while I'm confused I'm also not about to cede the discussion to people still living like seven-year-old children and hoping their laundry gets done when mom comes down to the basement. A millennial who has never held a job or lived away from his or her parents doesn't get to lecture me on jack shit.

This is not a blanket condemnation of millennials, merely an old white guy's assertion that 98 percent of everyone under 25 hasn't lived enough actual life to know what the fuck he or she is bloviating about.

So, instead of lectures, let's ask some questions, cuz dad needs some clarification, or he's turning this station wagon around and heading home.

Just the past two weeks I've learned that "sex" is the biological designation determined by birth and "gender" is the culturally appointed or accepted designation. I've learned that "race" is not a choice but "ethnicity" is. I've seen the belief that sexual preference is encoded in the DNA be co-opted by the transgender community to reaffirm that there is no such thing as "transracial" (but based on definitions there might be something like "transethnic") by claiming that regardless of the physical biology one is born with, male and female is determined by how you feel rather than what equipment you have but ethnicity doesn't get the same treatment.

I've read an article that condemns Caitlyn Jenner because she didn't live most of her life as a woman and that the claim that she has the brain of a woman sets feminism back decades. I've also read countless articles claiming that race and sex are not as fixed in biology as we think. I'm seeing the lines of identity crossed and condemned, crossed and applauded, crossed and no thought to what it actually means to choose identity rather than be born into it.

I've also seen that youthful condescension. Even from folks my age.

As if the very idea of seeing a biological man decide to surgically change himself to become a transgender woman is so completely different than a biologically white woman deciding to use skin darkener and hair product to change herself into a black woman and how dare you even compare the two, you troglodyte!? Racist! Homophobe! And this arrogance of zealous purpose tends to throw out those big words in an effort to shut people up rather than actually discuss complex and adult issues because questioning the existing paradigms is bad and looking more deeply into issues of how we operate in society together is wrong!

Yes, friends and readers, I do see the differences between the two examples. I'm not a fucking idiot. The most pervasive argument is that Caitlyn was born a woman (in a man's body) and Rachel wasn't born black. Unfortunately, while there is increasing (but certainly not conclusive) evidence of genetic predispositions of sexual preference, there is no evidence that transgender folks have the same claim. This makes the defacto argument moot and opens up the questions I'm asking. And being offended or pissed that I'm questioning an orthodoxy without any evidence to back it up is no different than being pissed that I think your belief in a resurrected man saving your soul deserves some scrutiny.

Why do marginalized groups doubt the same claims by other marginalized groups? A sizable contingent of African Americans are very vocal in both their rights to avoid bigotry and their rights to be bigoted toward the LGTBQ community. Feminists who argue that they have struggled far longer than Latinos for basic civil rights. Undocumented Mexicans who argue that they deserve amnesty, but not Muslims. Christians claiming infringement on their religious freedom while blocking the building of mosques.

Call me a throwback to a simpler time but I see nothing but rank hypocrisy in these arguments. Equality and equity for everyone means exactly that. Everyone. The pathological need for a pecking order seems so self-defeating it blows my mind. So many spend so much time crying that it is their specific niche that has been the most victimized that actual common sense change gets ignored while we bicker. If I didn't know better, it's as if the fight was more important than ending the war. But we are Americans and we like nothing more than to fight wars.

Choice equals responsibility for the choice, so what exactly are we born into and have no choice (no responsibility) for? While the science is inconclusive, I believe that sexual preference is encoded from birth. The science says that there are specific differences between the genetic makeup of gay and straight individuals and cautions that a host of other factors (including environment) contribute to this. That said, why exactly is it important that being gay is not a choice? The argument seems to be aimed at people whose minds aren't going to be changed anyway. Those of us who support everyone's right to fuck who they want (you know, with consent and obvious age restrictions) couldn't care less if being gay is a choice or a genetic destiny. If I decide to shed my heterosexual ways of 51 years and have sex with men from now on, am I somehow less gay than the guy who has lusted for same sex love his whole life? Are my rights then less than his?

So what exactly do we choose to be when it concerns our identity? We choose how we dress. We choose how we speak. We choose the company we keep. We choose how we do our hair, to wear makeup or not, to shave or not, the music we listen to, the movies and television we watch, the books and articles we read. We choose who we date, fuck, fall in love with. And, because we choose all of these things, we are responsible for the consequences of these choices, right? Caitlyn Jenner chose the sexy dress for the magazine cover. Rachel Dolezal chose to change her hair into an African ethnic look.

Did Caitlyn choose to be a woman? Did Rachel choose to be black? Yup. Does that make Caitlyn a woman and would she still be a woman without the reassignment surgery? Does Dolezal's choice make her "transethnic" or just a poser?

And why does it matter? Does it hurt anyone if Caitlyn just decided she wanted to be a woman or Rachel just decided to be black? Is anyone, anywhere harmed by these choices?

The news of Bruce becoming Caitlyn didn't phase me because I thought "Cool for her!" But the condemnation of Caitlyn in the face of Rachel's outing or questioning of authenticity for either strikes me as completely missing the point.

Who does it hurt if everyone gets to choose who he or she wants to be? Identity politics is a sham. It's fun and bizarrely competitive in the Victim Status Olympiad but ultimately forces us to fight about nothing of day-to-day substance. It's like arguing about who a real Chicagoan is or which team is better. Economic politics is where the real juice is but we'd rather fight over who or who is not authentically gay or black or American than focus on the very thing that fuels the most inequality in the world: money and access to it.

Who gets hurt if I decide to claim I am a black Mexican female? Yes, I understand that systemic institutional racism is harmful and that bigotry has fueled harmful cruelty but my choice to transform myself—trans being the prefix we use in this sort of thing—adds in no way to the systemic, institutional racism we know, nor is it a bigoted perspective on black, Mexican females. Quite the opposite actually. It seems unfair, it bothers people, it is annoying, it pisses some people off but it harms no one.

On the other hand, the myriad who are genuinely harmed by the economic injustice of financial segregation, gentrifying exclusion, and massive cuts to government assistance and education far outweigh the minuscule number of people harmed by a white woman deciding she wants to be black.

So stop hitting your sister—she can be black if she wants and your brother can decide that we call him Mildred—we're on this fucking trip together and no one wants dad to pull the car around and go back to the past.

#Caitlyn Jenner #Rachel Dolezal #trans-#queer #language #economics #equality

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