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#PLEASE WATCH THE SHOW. PLEASE. I'M BEGGING YOU.
ysrjune · 2 days
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DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN DILF!ANAKIN
Okay now that we got that out of the way 😇
“Keep going baby, Daddy needs you.” PURRING
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You knew being involved with Anakin was wrong. He had 2 kids and is way older than you, but you couldn't help it. Not when his dick was the best you've ever had. Something about an experienced older man was so compelling to you, never leaving room for anything or anyone else. You'd babysit his twins here and there when he or his ex-wife wasn't able to because they were busy. Luke and Leia liked you a lot, so it was never a problem to take care of them
Today was a regular Monday afternoon. The kids came from school, and Anakin was home because he didn't work on Mondays. He invited you over to spend the night because he was feeling lonely. The twins were downstairs watching TV and doing whatever while you and Anakin lay on his bed, teasing him about how horny he was all day.
“Are you gonna shut up about it yet?” He asked, looking any and everywhere but into your eyes. “No, you’re never going to hear the end of it. It's your fault for telling me.” You laugh at him, pinching his cheek. Anakin groans and finally looks at you. “Why’re you always being so mean to me, darlin’. ‘M always so nice to you.. giving you everything you want without question.”
It was true. Anakin spoiled you with either gifts or his attention even if you didn't exactly ask for it. “Come on, baby, I'm not asking for much, am I? Know you love my cock in your pretty mouth.” He's so smooth with his words, what he said didn't even sound dirty. “Please, please, please, angel. I need you.” Anakin pulls your hand to feel the buldge underneath his black sweats.
The way he was begging for it made you wet. You'd never seen him be this needy. How could you say no after his plead. So, ofcourse you stroked his cock for him. Soft moans escaped his mouth, along with a few grunts and groans. He thrusted up into your fist, announcing that he was about to cum but you didn't let him. Instead, you removed your hand and waited a couple of seconds before taking him in your mouth.
He gasps and places his right hand on your head, staring down at you, admiring the sight only he ever got to see. “Do it like that, sweetie.” Anakin whispers after you ran your tongue along the slit of his tip. “huh—aww, yeah.. yeah, like that. suck it good.” he moans followed by a clutch to your hair. “fuck, you know how to make daddy feel good, isn't that right, sweet girl?”
“Yeah, my baby knows how to make me beg for more. Such a smart girl I have, hm?” he continued, starting to slide himself in and out your mouth. “You're so fucking precious. You better not let any other guy touch you, do you understand me, baby? No other guy is worthy of you.” Anakin starts panting, coming close to the edge. “They won't bother to learn what you like. They don't care about you like I do.” His voice cracks at the end, making your pussy grip onto nothing.
“Mmph—get on top of me. now.” you do as he says, swiftly taking off all your clothes and hover yourself over his lap. “Whatchu waitin’ for? Do you need me to fuckin’ teach you again? Need me to show you how to ride my dick?” He teased with a smirk. “No..” You sheepishly respond, now sinking yourself onto him with a whine. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He mouths, holding onto your hips. “Don't hurt yourself, pretty baby, s’okay to go slow.”
you nod after finally fitting all of him in. “I—mphm—Anak—” he cups your face gently with his hand. “Shh, it's okay, my baby. I'll do it, s’okay. Let me make you feel good, okay? Dont you worry your pretty little head about anything.” He assures you and kisses your forehead before thrusting his hips into your pussy while he moans. “Mm, fuck. That feel good, sweetie? You feelin’ alright?” He asks, looking up at you.
“Faster..” is what you decided to reply with. Anakin was stunned. “Are you sure? I don't wanna hurt you, baby. Maybe we should just take it sl—”, “Please, daddy? need it so bad. need you to fucking ruin me.” Calling himself daddy to you was one thing.. but you saying it? God, he could cum right there. And as you asked, he finally went faster. Only by a little bit, though. He was still concerned about hurting you.
He moaned so much while watching his cock slide in and out of you, hearing all your moans and the wet noises your conjoined sexes made. “Ani, let me do it, please.” You asked nicely, in hopes he'd agree. And of course he let you. He was feeling too good to even forget he told you not to worry about it. “take that dick, baby. cmon. show me how bad she needs it.” talking about your pussy as if it was an individual being.
fulfilling your prior request, you rode him as fast as you wanted, feeling so good. so fast it made Anakin whine and let out one high pitched whimper. “Ah, yeah, baby, fuck..” to you, every noise either of you made was loud, but in reality it wasn't really that loud. It wasn't exactly quiet, but it wasn't loud either, just in case the kids were nearby, they wouldn't hear.
“yeah, keep doin’ it like that, baby,” he pants, watching his pre-cum and your juices go up and down the base of his cock and pooling at it. the way the noise sounded so sticky and wet everytime you bounced on and off of him turned him on so much. “daddy needs you.” and with that, you came all over his cock, riding out your high with whimpers slipping out your lips. feeling your tighten around him caused him to get super close.
“please let me cum in you, baby, mmph—lemme make you a mommy, uh?” followed by those cute ‘uh, uh, uh’ kinds of moans, and suddenly he came in you.
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musical-chick-13 · 7 months
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Thinking about Shiki again, and how Sunako is meant to deconstruct the idea of eternal youth because "youth" includes "being stuck as a child" and not just "sprightly and 24 years old forever." And how despite appearing as a child and, in several respects, retaining the personal qualities of one, she's still given an incredible amount of depth and complexity and a rich internal world (like actual children), wrapped up in these layers of self-conflict and a genuinely sympathetic desire to be loved and understood while still clearly being The Antagonist™ of the story and an architect of a truly terrifying situation for the villagers involved. All while having an incredibly interesting relationship with Seishin that is central to the plot and themes of the show.
ALSO thinking about how they easily could have left Chizuru as a one-dimensional femme-fatale, but they spent an entire episode showing us that she, like every character in this, is still a person underneath everything she feels compelled to do. They didn't have to give her any complexity, but they did! And then when we see the villagers' reactions to her, we're left wondering if it's really worth it to meet monstrosity with monstrosity, and if there are some things that, regardless of what kind of person you are, no one deserves. If perhaps there is a limit to what we are allowed to do to protect ourselves and preserve our humanity, and if humanity is something it's even possible to lose in the first place. We have to sit with these questions, and the show provides no concrete answers.
Everyone loses when you fully dehumanize the enemy (which is something both sides of this conflict do, albeit in different ways), and anyone is capable of carrying out that dehumanization.
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beif0ngs · 6 months
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BLUE EYE SAMURAI
I never said I was a samurai, you did. I’m on the path of revenge. There’s no place on it for love or friendship or weakness.
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darkladylumiya · 17 days
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My thoughts on Tales of the Empire
I'll start with my overall thoughts - the animation is really good, though at this point the contrast between more standard Clone Wars-style models and the more realistic ones who look like they could be from a video game is a bit jarring (though this could easily be a just me thing, I've not seen anyone else talk about this), the Barriss arc was way better than the Morgan Elsbeth one, which I doubt was a surprise to anyone, though I still have some issues with both. My big thing is that, compared to Tales of the Jedi, where we get little excerpts and character moments to fill out the characters and their progression through time, here Tales of the Empire is more or less our only source for info on these characters at this point in time. We know what happens with Dooku and Ahsoka in between their episodes - we have no clue what happened to Morgan to get her from Dathomir to running a planet for example, or how Barriss went from inquisitor to hermit healer (though this example is much less extreme).
Anyway, into the arcs proper. Get excited everyone, other force witch clans are back! Like the... checks notes Mountain clan. Not Singing Mountain. Just... Mountain. Cool, thanks Filoni. A decade later you finally make other Dathomiri clans canon, but you just shave a word off a name and now it's totally your own original idea, right? And don't worry, we'll have more totally original ideas from Filoni later, but first. Okay, the first episode is kinda like... a nothing episode. We end the episode with Morgan in the same position as she was halfway through, with a strange plot where Morgan immediately tries to seduce people to the Dark Side because... I don't know, she can? And again, we have no clue how she made it off planet. Dathomir doesn't exactly get a lot of space traffic, and apparently there are droid gunships still scouring the planet looking to kill literally any Nightsister left. Surely the first episode should have dealt with her getting off-planet? And not her sowing some dissent in a clan we've never met before and never see again? Some dissent which immediately ends and goes nowhere because most of them are now dead.
Anyway, next episode, she's in charge of a planet now because she has to be for The Mandalorian to still work - surely her getting to be in charge of a planet should have been an episode? Have the first one be her family getting killed and then her getting off-planet with some scavengers or pirates or whatever, the second episode is her rise to power over this planet and then the last is her meeting Thrawn? But sure, whatever, she's in charge already, cool. She's the designer of the TIE Defender, because they love beating my boy down. I'm not even going to ask how a Nightsister who has probably never even seen a starship before her clan got murdered figured out in the however many years it's been now knows how to design one of the best starfighters out there. Let's actually address that though - how many years has it been? The Battle of Dathomir was 20 BBY. The episode starts with a shot of Coruscant, where we see six Venators before finally an Imperial-class Star Destroyer appears. This implies to me that this has to be early on in the Empire, right? The first five years or so maybe? But then in Rebels season four there's an episode where they steal a TIE Defender prototype. So it took the Empire, or I guess Thrawn more specifically, at least seven years to go from design to a single test model? That's just strange to me, but who knows, it's been forever since I've seen that Rebels episode so maybe I'm just misremembering how they talked about it there. Anyway, the thing that truly got me was Pellaeon and Rukh. Fucking Rukh. But yeah, why was Eli Vanto not here but Pellaeon was? New canon more or less replaced Pellaeon's role with Vanto, so why is he not here now but Pellaeon is? My guess - because Filoni wanted to cover all the Thrawn bases. He read a brief summary of people and things associated with Thrawn in Legends and he put them all in one episode. We have Pellaeon, we have TIE Defenders, we have fUCKINg Rukh. I genuinely do not know why the FUCK Rukh is here.
Okay, let me explain. In the original Thrawn trilogy from the 90s, Rukh is Thrawn's personal bodyguard. Rukh is a Noghri, a species who regard Darth Vader as the savior of their people because their planet got nuked during the Clone Wars (it was an accident) and Vader came in and promised to help rebuild the planet, which he did. Very slowly, so the Noghri would always be indebted to him, because as it turns out they're very good assassins and commandos. But the important thing to note is that they're sworn to Vader, and serve him. Now in the books they work for Thrawn because they're more broadly sworn to the Empire, and after Vader is dead they end up working for Thrawn once he's in charge of the Empire. But Filoni doesn't care, the Noghri are associated with Thrawn and so here Rukh is as his bodyguard testing whether Morgan can fight. As soon as she got attacked, I immediately guessed it was going to be a Noghri, but once I saw the face of her attacker I was much less sure, because the head is completely wrong for a Noghri by the way, their head looks nothing like that. But anyway I lost it when Pellaeon said Rukh's name, because I knew I was fucking right. We're just pulling out all the sick Thrawn trilogy references, but not actually using these characters in any meaningful way - Rukh is here so his character page on Wookieepedia can have a canon tab now and so Filoni can show off his cred of pretending to have read a single book in his life. Oh yes, there is another thing Rukh is famous for by the way. KILLING THRAWN. I'm sure Filoni just forgot that little detail. Or who knows, maybe he'll just recreate it word for word at some point because he cannot do anything but steal from other people's work but do it in a worse and more amateurish way. I was so upset with Rukh being here with no explanation or justification I really did not care about anything else that happened in the rest of the arc. Thrawn shows up and recruits Elsbeth and then the third episode is just her killing a diplomat and burning a forest for no reason, yeah sure whatever who cares. I simply wish at some point there would be a notable character from Legends who is just... left there, and doesn't get dragged by cowboy hat man into whatever nostalgia bait ploy or attempt to pretend he has ever read a book, because the nostalgia bait doesn't work anymore. It just doesn't - it simply pisses me off. You're reminding me of better stories while I watch your lame shows, Filoni. Is that really what you want?
Ugh. Anyway, Barriss. I have a lot less to say because it's actually pretty good. I think it's way too short and she deserved way more screentime, or at the least not having to share an equal amount with Morgan Elsbeth (who I honestly forgot was even in the Mandalorian, I genuinely thought she was made up for the Ahsoka tv show for a while she's so forgettable). Anyway, the fundamental flaw is still that Barriss's massive heel-turn change of heart came out of nowhere and makes little sense with her character as established, so while this does a decent job at building upon that, it doesn't change that her arc in The Clone Wars makes no sense and was obviously chosen so that Ahsoka could be emotionally devastated by her best friend betraying her. A different complaint I then have is like... when did Barriss, woman who killed over a dozen people in a terrorist bombing, at least one of whom was someone she knew and liked, Barriss who murdered a woman in cold blood and purposefully framed her best friend so she could get away with this bombing, Barriss who convinces a wife to make her husband into a living bomb, Barriss who kills three clones with her friend's lightsabers to set her up even further and leads her purposefully where she has stashed more of the same bomb material, and indeed Barriss who kills someone who seemed to be her friend with the same technique she used to kill the woman who was about to rat her out - you want me to believe she suddenly has an issue with killing a village full of people? I'm sorry, but you have to actually explain how she sees this as different. Because you don't actually address at any point how she might feel about her terrorism now, or even what exactly her moral compass is. Killing innocents is good when she does it bad bad when it doesn't make the political statement she wants to make? I just don't get it. Anyway, final episode is the best of the series because it does the most to actually have a moral and message and actually does something pretty interesting? Whether she dies or not (I doubt she does personally), it's still an interesting setup for something else, either another season of this or a comic or book or whatever, to come back to and follow what the hell Lyn (and probably Barriss too) does now. I'm also glad Filoni finally remembered Barriss's specialty was healing actually, and not terrorism, even though we don't actually get to see her do any healing, with the Force or otherwise. Oh also, why does she look so old? It's like she aged 50 years over the course of 10? Like Lyn looks exactly the same but Barriss looks like she's 80. Idk, that was weird. Anyway I've rambled long enough, Filoni is still a hack who's never read a book in his life, but the Barriss stuff here was pretty good, at least somewhat enjoyable throughout. If you watch anything, watch that - all the Morgan Elsbeth stuff is terribly forgettable or outright frustrating.
5/6 edit: I’ve fixed Eli’s name (sorry Eli) and while it’s been pointed out to me that Rukh is in Rebels, a fact I was unaware of, I’m going to maintain the rant as it stands with this disclaimer here at the end - Rukh was in Rebels and was not originally added in this show. However, I still think his design sucks.
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coulsonlives · 9 months
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Omg, Dante Basco ships Zutara! My life is complete.
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beanghostprincess · 3 days
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Do you think there’s a chance OPLA will make non canonical ships into canon? I saw people noticing zo/lu got a lot more obsessed with each other scenes together and said it’s possible. Or mish/anks with how the actor openly supports the ships, with likes, comments, being open to fan bringing it up. What do you think?
Nah 😭 First things first, I HIGHLY doubt our dearest (sarcastically) (derogatory) Net*lix is going to make queer couples if it's not necessary. We're lucky we didn't get the show canceled with the amount of sapphic energy Nami and Kaya had going on, honestly. Two girls holding hands is enough to get a show canceled on that platform. And if they do make queer couples canon they're not going to be between the main characters, keeping in mind how much they're risking doing so.
And also,, I don't want any of the ships to be canon, either. The whole point is to not make romance between the straw hats in canon so it doesn't take the spotlight of their development and you view their dynamics however you want. I'd be annoyed if something as awesome as the next arcs that are to come get sidelined because Net*lix wanted romance. I mean, I wouldn't be annoyed if they made Namivivi canon or at least confirm some main characters to be queer, but it just feels like they'd do it to put their "we are so woke and cool we made your favorite character LGBT" pin and then... Do nothing about it later. As per side characters, idk, maybe there are some non-canon couples here and there and I don't really care but I wouldn't want it to be with the main characters. Especially with Luffy. Do not touch Luffy.
Luffy has such deep bonds with all characters in different ways, and you can see them as romantic, but making it canon just takes away that magic by putting a label on his feelings, something that I feel he wouldn't even do.
Worst case scenario they make Vivi x Koza or Zoro x Nami canon because if Net*lix doesn't have its daily unnecessary romance in shows it dies or smth.
So I don't think it's happening and I don't even want it to happen. The next arcs are so damn good and I really don't want to have to deal with ship wars or shit like that next season.
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cookinguptales · 5 months
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I find shows where you watch people build stuff very soothing, so I'm currently going through all of the home-building shows that I can watch through HBO Max now and like
WWDITS has ruined me! thoroughly!!!
these are all from discovery+, I think, so they all have that HGTV house renovation vibe to them, and I just. I keep expecting one of them to get eaten by a vampire or something. Go Flip Yourself completely rewired something in my brain. lmao help.
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jeonghanssidechick · 24 days
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i haven't even seen maestro mv yet and i already know this is abt to be woozi and hao's era
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crispycreambacon · 3 months
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I really wanna discuss Ryan/Professor with someone, but the problem is that people barely know of this ship 'cause the show isn't meant for shipping, and if they do, they either hate it, ship it only as a joke or are wildly horny over it like.
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who interprets this ship the way I do, and it sucks 'cause gAH I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT but the chance of someone hearing me out is so low, if anyone wants to hear me out, please let me know 💀🙏🏽
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sskk-manifesto · 1 month
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(´・ᴗ・ ` )
#I really like the “We're the bad guys' enemy” line. For someone I generally despise Dazai has all my favourite lines in this show…#Idk I can't really vibe with the unbalance that there is between s/kk.#Like when push comes to shove‚ Dazai has the power to keep Chuuya alive or let him die.#I understand why they make a compelling dynamic in their complexity‚ but it just doesn't do it for me.#I'm a little sad my opinion on them hasn't really changed since I watched the anime for the first time...#Also; I really can't vibe with Chuuya allowing Dazai to kill Q. Yes I know Chuuya cares about his comrades deeply.#Yes I know it can be interpreted as Chuuya seeing himself in Q as a living weapon and being disgusted by it#(though I honestly don't think that was intentional of the author).#Yes I know Chuuya is a mafioso and kills people. No I don't think your personal issues justify you being a dick to other people I'm sorry.#Back to my main annoyance with the episode: I must have already talked about this but I hate hate hate the narrative#“the mafia works for the city” “the mafia deeply loves the city too” it's so so sickening and insulting please stop I'm begging.#Please visit any actual city with a rooted mafia presence for once in your life (signed: someone whose hometown was destroyed by the mafia.#The writers really don't know what they're talking about and‚ politely‚ it's offensive.)#Also b/sd keeping being extremely nationalist with Mori (who's largely depicted unsimphatetically for the first part of the episode)–#bringing up western thinkers and subtly mocking Fukuzawa for not knowing them–#and Fukuzawa (the righteous man. the noble spirit and just soul in this episode and Mori's antithesis)–#stepping forward to say that he knows strategists from the east (because who else would he need?)#I don't know if it's meant to symbolize the conflict with an hostile and invading foreign power (the Guild).#But it does come across as. A very isolationist way of thinking.#I know it's subtle but it's really evident for me. And I didn't want to talk about this any further…#But by bringing actual examples of this I hope I can better explain why I think that b/sd holds nationalist views–#and that I'm not just making it up out of nowhere. Otherwise I fear I'd only come off as pettily hostile to b/sd in everything#That's it. I feel like I've been losing a lot of mutuals over my main recently due to not shutting up (sorry)#so I suppose it's only fair I lose them on here too pffttt.#Tune in next week for more bad takes#random rambles
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dna-d2 · 9 months
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(One Piece Live Action Spoilers, Beware) (Also long post alert, Also Beware) (TL;DR at the end)
(Beware)
So I finally finished watching the Live Action One Piece and BOY LET ME TELL YOU.
(Please note that this is coming from someone who’s read the manga numerous times and is almost caught up on the anime. So this is a time for me to lovingly rant about this show/franchise in general)
I loved it. Like, to start off with, I fucking loved it. It had a couple flaws, and I certainly wouldn’t say it’s the BEST way to experience the story of One Piece, but I had so much fun with it, god.
Like, one of the biggest flaws you see with live action anime adaptations is that they make a bunch of changes, and these changes feel like they were made by a bunch of higher-up suit-wearing dickheads who think they managed to systematically dissect why people loved Dragon Ball so much and gave us the war crime that was Dragon Ball Evolution.
No, OPLA does have changes, but these changes feel like they were made to actually ADAPT the story into a new medium, since this would require a whole different type of storytelling compared to anime or manga. And (almost) all of the changes do feel like they were able to get the same point across as in the anime/manga, just in a different way.
Like pretty much everyone’s been saying, the casting choice was SPOT-FUCKING-ON. Like
HOLY SHIT
Guys, Iñaki as Luffy was absolutely brilliant and you’d have to kill me before I’d ever say anything different, I mean it. The closest I’d have to a character complaint (and it’s really not a complaint, it’s more of a nit-pick than anything) is that Zoro was just not goofy enough. OG Zoro gets caught up in the shenanigans more than he’d like to admit and gets pissed about it and many other things. OPLA Zoro was way more stoic than that. Though I did also like the stoic himbo energy he was giving off too, so like I said it’s not ENTIRELY a complaint. Just a slight nitpick. (And this is nothing against the actor, the actor did a phenomenal job and I will hear no slander against him or any of the others. Especially Usopp’s actor. Dude was perfect in pretty much every way)
And then the only REAL complaint I had. Well, two, technically. And they both center around the final two episodes.
One of the ONLY changes I didn’t like is that the people in Cocoyashi DIDN’T know that Nami was working for Arlong to buy back the village. The anime/manga had them all know about it and play along so that her efforts to help them wouldn’t be in vain, thus when she was double-crossed by Arlong, they had 7 years of resentment against just HIM to get out, and it felt so nice knowing that these guys were more than willing to fight to the death for her in her name and in the name of the years she sacrificed for them.
In this one though, the fact that they didn’t know just made it feel less impactful to me. They hated Nami for years, then just gave her an apology for not realizing what she was doing before deciding to march on Arlong Park. They didn’t even march on Arlong Park. It felt like the writers were rushing this along a little bit, which kinda leads into my other complaint.
I think there should’ve been ONE more episode. Just one. Nine overall. I think they should’ve spent 2 episodes, 7 and 8, specifically on the fight against Arlong, instead of an episode and a half with the resolution to the Garp thing stuck on at the end. THEN made episode 9 the resolution to the Garp subplot. Or hell, I think even just an extra 30 minutes would’ve helped a lot more. But it felt like they didn’t 100% get how to pace it out properly and had to change certain things that resulted in being a detriment to the overall product. I didn’t feel anywhere near as moved during Nami’s scene asking for help as I did during the anime/manga. In those, she looked absolutely broken, pushed so far past her breaking point that she just couldn’t see a way out of this darkness she’d found herself in for years and years. And in OPLA, she just…Didn’t. It’s hard to put to words, but it just wasn’t as impactful to me.
NOW WITH ALL THAT SAID!!!!
This is an incredible show in its own right. If I didn’t have the anime/manga to compare this to, I would have almost no gripes whatsoever. Maybe even none!! I enjoyed the hell out of this from start to finish, and only came out of it with like one complaint and a couple nitpicks. That’s INCREDIBLE for a live action anime adaptation. Not to mention the way that this is already proving to be a great way to get new people into One Piece. (They don’t realize. They don’t realize that this is the gateway show. That this is where it starts. They don’t realize that they’ll be hooked after this. They don’t realize. But I realize. I know. And soon, so will everyone…!!!)
So yeah, OPLA, solid 8/10. It’s not the best way to experience the story overall, but it’s great for beginners and I will watch again for Easter Eggs and further enjoyment. You should watch it.

TL;DR: One Piece Live Action is great actually, and while it’s not perfect, you should watch it and I love it.

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acesammy · 1 month
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looking at the notes at the 'who suffered more' poll is objectively hilarious
'did sam go to hell for 40 years???'
Explicitly and canonically yes. how'd you miss that??
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the-commonplace-book · 10 months
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saw some posts going around about how movie adrien was insufferable and a fuckboy and seemed like the kind of guy who might call a girl a bitch and can't take no for an answer and i couldn't figure out why for the life of me
finally watched some scenes in the english dub and
oh honey no
what IS that line delivery???
;_; how did they murder my boy??
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whysamwhy123 · 6 months
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So, I started writing a dumb crackfic about a bunch of my blorbos attempting to hit on my newest blorbo because it was funny in my head buuuuut turns out I'm not funny enough to bring it to life so I probably ain't gonna finish it. But I don't wanna feel like I completely wasted my time, so I'm just gonna drop the unfinished thing here because I can't seem to make myself continue it. It's a shame because I feel like it would have gotten a little better/funnier after I got the set-up out of the way, I had plans for where this would go, but alas, my brain has failed me yet again. And whatever, this most likely appeals to absolutely no one anyway, so here it is, read at your own risk because it sucks!
Jack was minding his own business before the show, wandering the halls while dicking around his phone, when he spotted Hook, just standing there.
‘’Hey man, what’s up?’’ he said, leaning against the nearest wall, still looking at his phone.
When no response came, Jack looked up. Hook was still as a statue, his eyes focused forward. Did he not hear him?
‘’Hello? Hook?’’
Jack got closer and slowly turned his head in the direction Hook was staring. ‘’What are you looki - whoa!’’
Jack almost dropped his phone when he first caught a glimpse of her. No wonder Hook was staring - she had to be the most beautiful woman he’d ever soon. She was fucking gorgeous. The kind of woman that’s so beautiful it feels like she shouldn’t be allowed to exist. Or that you shouldn’t be allowed to look at her, how dare you think yourself worthy! But she was real and she was right there all the way over on the other side of the hallway. She seemed to be checking how she looked in her phone’s camera, adjusting her long blonde hair and examining her makeup as though it wasn’t already perfect. She was perfect. She was wearing this all red ensemble that showed off just how killer her body was. And she was tall too. Long legs.
Jack’s mouth was agape. He knew it wasn’t polite to stare but how could he not?
‘’Jack, buddy,’’ Hook said, not taking his eyes off the beauty across the hall. ‘’I’ve found my next conquest.’’
Jack couldn’t take his eyes off her either. Who could blame them? ‘’Who is that?’’
Hook somehow managed to tear his eyes away from the vision they’ve been blessed to look upon and turned his head to Jack instead. ‘’My next conquest. Weren’t you listening?’’
Jack forced himself to look away - any longer and he was about to start drooling. ‘’No, who is she? What’s her name? I’ve gotta know.’’
‘’You seriously don’t know who she is?’’
The two men whirled around to find Daniel Garcia right next to them.
‘’How long have you been there?’’ Hook asked.
Daniel waved him off, a whatever gesture and then nodded his head in the direction of the unbelievably gorgeous woman. ‘’That’s Mariah May!’’
Hook and Jack blinked at him.
‘’From Stardom?’’
More blinking.
‘’Club Venus? Rose Gold?’’
‘’You’re just saying words at us, man,’’ Hook said.
Daniel gave them a judgemental look. ‘’You guys don’t watch Stardom? For real? Do you not watch any joshi wrestling at all?’’
Jack scratched the back of his neck. Hook gave a half-hearted shrug.
Daniel shook his head. ‘’What’s wrong with you guys? Y’all got no taste. Where else do you find spots to steal?’’
‘’My dad,’’ Hook said.
At the same time, Jack said, ‘’Shawn Michaels, I guess?’’
Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. ‘’I’m surrounded by uncultured swines. Look, she was one of the hottest - literally - free agents in the business. She just signed here, she’s debuting tonight.’’
‘’She’s a wrestler?’’ Hook said. ‘’Damn. Would have been easier if she was a rat.’’
‘’She could be,’’ Daniel said. ‘’You can be a wrestler and a rat at the same time.’’
Hook narrowed his eyes at Daniel. ‘’You would know.’’
Daniel smiled back, completely oblivious. ‘’Yeah, I mean, look at Adam Cole. Or Edge. Or CM Pu -’’ He stopped himself and his eyes went wide in Jack’s direction. A very uncomfortable silence fell over the three of them, one that seemed to last precisely one million years. ‘’...other examples…’’
‘’Alright, enough standing around,’’ Hook said finally. He took his hands out of his hoodie pocket and cracked his knuckles. ‘’I’m going in.’’
Two hands, one from Daniel and one from Jack, shot out and grabbed his hoodie, preventing him from taking a step.
‘’No way,’’ Daniel said.
‘’Nuh uh,’’ Jack added.
Hook glared at the two. ‘’I saw her first.’’
Daniel was aghast. ‘’No, I saw her first! You didn’t know who she was until fifteen seconds ago!’’
‘’That doesn’t count,’’ Hook argued. ‘’I saw her first in the building, so I get first dibs.’’
‘’That’s not fair!’’ Jack whined.
Daniel said, ‘’You don’t understand, man - I’ve been crazy about this girl ever since I first saw her on Stardom World. I’ve been waiting for this moment for months - that could be the love of my life right there!’’
‘’Yeah, well, I wanna fuck her,’’ Hook said, as though that was the most airtight, well-reasoned counterpoint imaginable. ‘’You can fanboy over her all you want after I’m done with her.’’
‘’Hell no! I don’t want your sloppy seconds!’’
‘’If ‘the love of your life’ is sloppy seconds, what does that say about you, huh?’’
Hook and Daniel had been gradually inching closer to each other with each response. They both looked mad, like they were one second away from throwing punches. Jack couldn’t let that happen. Not after last time…
He put a hand on each man’s shoulder and created some distance between them. ‘’Guys, guys, calm down! We don’t need to fight.’’
Clearer heads seemed to prevail, Hook and Daniel shared a nod and then their body language changed, less guarded.
‘’Besides, you’re both wrong,’’ Jack continued. ‘’I should get to approach her first.’’
Hook and Daniel, now suddenly allies, raised an eyebrow each at Jack. ‘’Why?’’ they both asked at the same time.
‘’Because…’’ Jack started. His mind drew a blank. ‘’...I…want to…’’
Now it was Jack’s turn to be blinked at. He wracked his brain - he couldn’t let this opportunity slip away, not when the girl in question was that hot.
‘’Okay, here’s why it should be me! Or, I guess, here’s why it shouldn’t be either of you!’’ He pointed at Daniel. ‘’You hit on girls all the time, while I don’t. So much. So it’s only fair that I got a shot first because, you know, it’s a special occasion.’’ Daniel looked incredulous and opened his mouth to respond but Jack cut him off by pointing at Hook and continuing. ‘’And you! Aren’t you already seeing someone?’’
‘’Uh, no? The fuck you talking about?’’ Hook asked, looking very annoyed at the mere suggestion.
‘’What about that girl you hook up with all the time? The one who’s always texting you? Carly something?’’
Hook rolled his eyes. ‘’Alright, look - technically, I never told Carly we were exclusive. I just…told her a bunch of other stuff and she kinda assumed and I didn’t correct her because I didn’t wanna seem like an asshole. But just because she lets me hit on the regular doesn’t mean I owe her anything - she should understand that. So how is it my fault if she gets mad about something like this?’’
Jack furrowed his brow at his best friend. ‘’You…you don’t seriously think that, right? That’s gross!’’
‘’Nah, that makes perfect sense,’’ Daniel said. ‘’Flawless logic. She’s the one in the wrong, not you.’’
He and Hook shared a quick fistbump. Fuckboy solidarity.
Jack sighed deeply. ‘’See? This is why I should get to shoot my shot first - I won’t treat like her dirt like you two assholes!’’
Daniel looked offended. ‘’I’ll have you know, I’ll treat her like a queen!’’
Hook nodded. ‘’Yeah, same. Unless she doesn’t want me to, you know?’’
Fistbumps all around.
‘’There’s gotta be a way we can decide, fairly, who gets to go first,’’ Jack said. ‘’Some way we can settle this like mature adults. Like men.’’
The three men took a long moment to ponder their predicament and search for an appropriate solution.
Hook glanced down at his fist. ‘’Rock, paper, scissors?’’
‘’Yes,’’ Jack said, emphatically.
Daniel rubbed his hands together. ‘’Alright, how we doing this? Elimination style or triple threat rules?’’
Jack decided to defer to Hook; it was his idea after all.
Hook considered it for a moment. ‘’The usual 3-way match rules. First to score a fall wins.’’
The three of them formed a triangle and each of them placed a fist onto their other palm, ready and waiting. After silently confirming they were all ready through a series of shared nods, Jack took it upon himself to count them down.
‘’Okay, here we go! Rock, paper, scissors, sh -’’
Before he could finish, Jack was shoved back by Daniel, his back colliding with the wall. Daniel then grabbed Hook’s hand, still balled into a fist, and promptly covered it with his own palm, preventing Hook from changing his option and signalling paper-beats-rock.
‘’I win!’’ he announced proudly.
Hook ripped his hand away. ‘’Like hell you do!’’
‘’The fuck was that?!’’ Jack demanded, rubbing his back where it was now sore. ‘’That wasn’t a win, you cheated!’’
Daniel smiled smugly. ‘’No, I didn’t. We said triple threat rules - that means it’s No DQ.’’
A lengthy discussion ensued about what exactly constitutes a disqualification in a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, hollowed by a side tangent about why there aren't disqualifications in a triple threat match. Upon realising that they weren’t going anywhere and were just wasting time, they all agreed to play by elimination rules. Hook was the first fall, picking paper while Jack and Daniel went with scissors. And in the finals, Jack’s paper bested Daniel’s rock. How poetic.
‘’Yes!’’ Jack exclaimed triumphantly. He took a great deal of satisfaction in Hook and Daniel’s sour, dejected expressions.
Jack glanced back over to confirm that Mariah was a) still there and b) hadn’t overheard any of that, which turned out to be true on both counts. She was in the exact same spot as before, still admiring herself in her phone’s camera. Jack could relate.
Jack took a few deep breaths to psyche himself up. ‘’Okay, Jack, you got this. You got this! I know exactly what’ll work here!’’
Hook groaned. ‘’You’re not seriously gonna try that again, are you?’’
‘’I told you, it totally works!’’ Jack said, defiant. ‘’Sometimes.’’
‘’What’s he talking about?’’ Daniel asked.
Hook sighed. ‘’He has this thing he does to try and pick up girls. It’s stupid - he just stands around looking sad and supposedly, a girl will eventually come up to him and ask him what’s wrong.’’
‘’It. Works. Sometimes,’’ Jack insisted.
Daniel considered that. ‘’Huh. Yeah, I can see it. One time, there was this girl who told me I had ‘sad eyes’ and it was half the reason she fucked me. So you might be onto something.’’
With his confidence boosted, Jack took another breath to calm his nerves and headed down the hallway to his target. He willed himself to stay calm, but he grew more nervous with each footstep. The closer he got, the better he could see her. She was even more stunning up close.
When he was near enough, he put on his game face. Which was to say, he put on his best sad puppy dog eyes and leaned against the wall, dejected.
His head was bowed, but he could see Mariah out of the corner of his eye. Unfortunately, she was still distracted by her own reflection. Jack didn’t blame her, but he really needed her to look his way. 
He let out a loud sigh. Nothing. So he sighed louder. Still nothing. The third sigh was so loud and exaggerated, it was almost comical. But it was the one that got the job done. Mariah finally looked up from her phone and found him there. There was a flash of concern on her face and Jack knew his diabolical plan was working.
‘’Excuse me, are you alright? You look really sad!’’
Whoa, she has an English accent? Jack wasn’t expecting that. It took him a couple of seconds to process and actually respond.
‘’Oh, it’s nothing, really. Just one thing after another today, you know?’’
Jack knows this is the part where she asks more questions about why he’s so sad and tries to cheer him up.
Mariah just hummed. ‘’Okay,’’ she said, and then turned her attention back to her phone.
Uh oh. It’s not going according to plan! Jack’s brain scrambled for what to do next. He pushed himself away from the wall and closer to her.
‘’Uh, hey, wait! Uh, I’m Jack!’’ he said, offering his hand out.
She eyed his hand curiously and then reluctantly shook it. Goddammit, why did he try to shake her hand? That’s not romantic, that’s…business-y?
‘’Nice to meet you, I guess,’’ she said. ‘’I’m Mariah May.’’
‘’Yeah, I know who you are,’’ Jack said. He wracked his brain for what it was Daniel said about her back there. ‘’I saw you wrestle in, uh…Venus World?’’
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#What can I say? I have a weird desire to write about my blorbos being idiot fuckboys *shrugs*#Uh oh Sam's gotten so bad at this writing shit that they're posting unfinished fic on tumblr#In a desperate attempt to not feel like a complete and utter failure#It's frustrating when a fun idea doesn't turn out to be as fun when you have to actually write it yourself#This happens to me a lot unfortunately#If you actually read this and wondered where it was going -#DG would try next and attempt to impress her with his in-depth knowledge of her Stardom career#But he'd end up failing by making it all about himself and then doing his dance at her which would just creep her out#Then Hook would try by just asking her ''How's your day?'' and then standing there listening to her for a while#And then he'd say ''I really like listening to you.''#And he's like right this is the part where she pounces on me and begs me to fuck her#But it don't happen and Mariah tells him he's not her type#Which prompts Hook to have an existential breakdown due to being rejected by a girl for the first time in his life#And then Toni comes along to see what the fuss is all about and she's like ''Children please let me show you how it's done!''#And then she effortlessly rizzes Mariah in a matter of seconds and the three fuckboys watch on like ''Aw man!''#''Why are the hottest girls always gay?!''#Yeah...it seemed a lot funnier in my head but now I'm reading it back....ouch 😬#I'm thinking it's a good thing I abandoned ship here LOL
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selfshipping-haven · 5 months
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Boy oh boy i love watching my f/o burn alive
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No pet peeves:
People who want to get into Dark Angel for Jensen Ackles and want to skip to season two just for him: one pet peeve.
I seriously don't understand this mindset of people's. Like, I love Jensen Ackles as much as the next girl, but why would anyone ever do this?
I'll admit that I'm an OG Dark Angel fan, so I fell in love with the story and show before he was truly in it with season one, as him being in just one episode of the first season doesn't really count (Dark Angel was even one of the first things that introduced me to him). But this is so weird to me. No matter how much you like an actor, why would you possibly choose to go into a story and handicap yourself this way? You'll have no idea what's going on (and even if you look up what happened before Alec showed up on the wiki or something, it's still not the same as watching the show). And may miss out on a season you could have really liked by doing this?
Like, I'm a huge fan of Eliza Dushku and I ended up watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer largely because of her. She doesn't show up until season three of the show, but did I skip seasons one and two and just jump in where she made her appearance? No. And as a side note, while I love Faith (and Eliza's portrayal of her) a ton, she's not my favorite character of the show. I bring this up because I've also noticed that a lot of Jensen fans seem to have this predisposed idea that just because they love Jensen, that Alec has to be their favorite character on Dark Angel or something. But I let my favorites come to me as they will.
I also adore Tom Welling because of Smallville and might one day watch Lucifer because of him. And if I did, I wouldn't just skip everything he wasn't in and go to where he debuted in the show. I would watch the whole thing.
I don't know. This whole thing just baffles me. But I've seen new Dark Angel fan upon fan do this, say they were going to, or say they were thinking about doing so.
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