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svftloving · 4 months

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₍ᵔ.˛.ᵔ₎ yandere! knights of favonius w/ break up attempt (pt. 2)

warnings! yandere, kidnapping, desire to kidnap, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, guilt-tripping, fake warrant (?), manipulation, use of children to manipulate (? blame albedo), probably some mischaracterization of the two (i tried, i never wrote them before :'p), if you feel like anything else i should add, just comment! <3

notes! part two to knights of favonius break up attempt/gift for 100 followers! and yeah, this was wayyy overdue. also albedo headcanons is more story like instead of headcanony (?) like eula's because of being written at different times, but i tried my hardest not to make it story based :')

,, eula

err... i wouldn't say she's confused or outwardly offended, but she's directly irked.

she's alot more understanding than you most likely assumed she would be once you approach her, but this doesn't mean she's going to let you leave her. she's going to want to have a straightforward, civil conversation with you to...attempt to talk things out :)

she's very formal when talking to you (which isn't different from how she usually talks to you, though she's a bit softer in tone usually), but if you have a keen eye, it's not to hard to notice how...fidgety she is.

her hands are folded against the table, slightly shaking and tightly holding on to the other. her eyes are focused directly on you, as they always are, but they occasionally flicker down towards your body as if she's attempting to read your body language. her lips are curved slightly downward and her eyebrows are a little furrowed, her facial expression become more negative when you say something she doesn't agree with/like.

referencing back to her attempts at reading you(r body language), she'll very discreetly point them out in an attempt to manipulate you. are your hands shaking? it's an obvious sign that your nervous about this and don't want to break up. are your eyes darting around the room? you rather not have this talk clearly, so it's best to just stop talking now! she's very direct and firm with her words when she issues in on your body language, so it isn't the most easiest thing to try and state your reasoning for ending the relationship when she's suddenly pointing out your anxious behavior so coldly.

though, if you're really insistent and keep your ground... then, fine. she'll let you leave. but don't assume that's she letting you slip away from her hold so easily, you're the light of her life, don't you know? she couldn't possibly let you go...

sooo, she's gonna attempt to win back your favor, obviously! you won't see her the next day after your attempt on ending the relationship, but that's only because she's busy in her room planning out the good deeds she has prepared for you. this is the perfect act of "revenge" to inflick on you to win you back, she's sure of it!

a bouquet of roses are neatly placed on your desk once you wake up in the morning, a fancy letter placed beside it. you already have a eery feeling who it's from and eula doesn't attempt to sign the letter anonymously anyway as she knows you're familiar with her handwriting due to the letters she occasionally sended you before hand.

throughout your day, you're bombarded with gifts and surprises just like you were when you were with eula still, but you aren't...right?

it's just gets worse from there if you keep on ignoring her. the letters get more deranged and threatening (of course, she wouldn't act on anything she says regarding hurting you. but for the others that she writes about...) and the gifts keep getting bigger (your house is practically flooded in roses).

if you continue to insist on not groveling at her feet and returning back into her arms interacting with her despite her attempts at getting you to do so, expect a very early visit to your doorstep one day from the former lawrence clan member and a few guards behind her. in her hand, a warrant, is held directly in your focal vision.

she just wants to talk, so won't you let her in? :)

,, albedo

you, at first, think the alchemist is ignoring you when you tell him that you want to break up with him. he's busy extracting whatever latest thing he's been working on in the past few days.

this, among with other few things, has been one of the main reasons you wanted to break up the blonde anyway. he's always busy slaving anyway on a new experiment and there's never a good amount of time to spend together with him! of course, you've tried to be as patient as possible...but this was going on far to long. you couldn't deal with it anymore.

anyway, you hoped this would atleast gets some reaction out of albedo when you finally tell him this. to direct his gaze elsewhere besides his experiment.

("why?" he doesn't even look at you when he speaks, his cold eyes focused on a small vial he had in his hands that he seemed to be inspecting. you almost want to slap him for the lack of emotion he was showing right now. but, instead of letting out your bottled up rage that you desperately wanted to, you simply don't respond.)

(if he didn't care, then you wouldn't either. you leave his warm little hideout with a strong turn of your heel, ignoring the tears that were starting to brim in your eyes. the alchemist turns his head after he hears your footsteps starting to fade from hearing, his eyes scanning the footprints your shoes left in the snow.)

this...isn't what he had expected. the outcome he had calculated before you even spoke (he could still glance at you from his pephiral vision despite his head being turned that there was something on your mind, along with the various ways you've been acting leading up to this) for you to vent out your frustrations and hidden feelings towards him in anger, only for him to formulate a response that would curb your concerns.

he's not concerned. he knows he hasn't been...the best partner these last few weeks. he just accidentally preconceived how long you would be able to handle the lack of attention he was giving you.

it would be okay, though. he would simply take a visit to your home the following day and talk everything out with you. maybe even bring a few cecilias or some windwheel asters as a gift.

which...doesn't go so well as you shut the door in his face and ignore him when he tries to come again the next following days. albedo isn't worried, though. if you thought that was his only idea to get you back then you're surely mistaken.

the thought of kidnapping strikes his mind faster than he would have liked it too, but he tries to keep that in the back of his mind as he (really) rather not resort to that. so he sticks to the something he's a master in...

manipulation! he's writing letters and sending flowers to your doorstep regardless if you read them or not (they'll just continue piling if you don't). all filled with deeply manipulative woven words that you feel nauseous. of course, he uses other method, but those our the most effective (and one of the two ways he can actually communicate with you since you won't talk to him).

news of the end of your relationship with the alchemist spreads through mondstadt, and it's not a hard guess who made that possibly. the people of the city aren't necessarily trying to coerce you back together with him... but their comments ranging from disbelief from you breaking up with him ("really? you both seemed perfect for one another...") to sadness for the wrong person ("we'll probably never see the alchemist out as often when he was with you! you really did bring out the best in him.") makes you think otherwise.

but helping him the most is the spark knight herself. she's absolutely heartbroken when albedo gently breaks it to her that you both broke up! her big brother always seems to happy whenever you're around, but now he looks so gloomy and stays cooped in with his experiments. you'll still hang out with her and him like always though, right...? the sight of klee's sad face makes you reluctantly agree to spending the day (and more times) with the two blondes, and makes you have to unfortunately interact with albedo despite your burning desire not to. albedo's smugness is oblique, but you'll sometimes catch the slightest smirk on his lips.

if all else fails, then he has no qualms in stealing you away. he really did try his hardest to stop this from happening, but he's starting to think it's time for you both to have a heart to heart together. so don't be alarmed when you end up back in dragonspine, cuffed and generously wrapped in a blanket. he only wants to talk...

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere eula #yandere eula lawrence #yandere eula x reader #yandere eula lawrence x reader #yandere albedo #yandere albedo kreideprinz #yandere albedo x reader #yandere albedo kreideprinz x reader #i put my heart and soul into writing eula's part she's so fun to write ong #this is lowkey my favorite post/writing #albedo's part was fun to write too ofc

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barbarianbookhoe · 8 months

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Chapter 3

A/N: here comes one of my fave Kanej scene!! (tho a bit changed but nvm) This became longer than I wanted, apologies if it feels too much!

(Btw i rewatched the series recently and my god was he hot doing this)

"You want us to do what?" Jesper asked and stopped fidgeting with his revolver. Y/N gave them back to him aftter Kaz told (almost) everything about his plan. But as expected, they had some reluctance towards some details.

"Do you have a better idea on how to get into a prison?" Kaz raised his brows, waiting for an answer, then nodded. "Thought so. As I said-"

"You intentionally want us to be prisoners? Get put behind bars, not to mention, that we'll have absolutely no weapons with us," Nina interrupted him. Kaz turned to her with an annoyed expression. "That is what I just told you, didn't I?" Everyone shifted in their seat uncomfortably, except Y/n. Her mind was already running with thoughts about Kaz's reason behind the idea.

"That's what I'm here for, isn't it?" She asked and they turned to her as she continued. "No one's going to expect criminals to willingly go into prison, that's why it's the perfect disguise. While the six of you are inside, I can shapeshift and easily get in and out, bringing you your weapons. I can change into anyone or anything, which means I can even change into a guard to make it less suspicious." It's a brilliant idea, she thought to herself but didn't say it out loud. Ghezen forbid she makes Kaz's ego grow bigger, if that was possible.

"And once we find Yul-Bayur, the two of you will change place until we get him out, saving time for us." Kaz told them and Y/N let out a small hum, as if she was agreeing with Kaz's explanation. "It'll work as long as no one tries to speak in Shu to me," Y/N said then quickly added, "or Fjerdan."

"According to my timing, no one's going to suspect a thing until we give you the signal and you leave," Kaz told her while Jesper slightly shook his head. "Don't want to offend you Y/N, I totally believe that you can do that, but umm," he hesitated for a moment before continuing, "how sure can we be that this will work? I mean, won't it be suspicious that while we're dragging him through the crowd, another one of him casually stirs potions in his laboratory?"

"I aggree with Jesper," Inej said and Kaz looked at her annyoed. "You too now?"

"Look Kaz, it's not that we don't trust you-" "I definitely don't trust him," Matthias mumbled while Inej spoke. "It's just that this really seems like a crazy idea. At least tell us you have a backup plan, if someone notices us," she pleaded with him but Kaz just stared at them with a blank face, seemingly in thought. His silence made both Jesper and Y/N worried. "You do have a backup plan?" Jesper asked, and Y/N quickly followed.

"Tell us you have a backup plan," Y/N asked with wide eyes and when Kaz finally looked at them he rolled his eyes. "Of course, I'm not an idiot. I have backup plans for backup plans,"

"That didn't sound so convincing," Y/N let out a sigh and Jesper did the same.

"I already figured it out. There's a few things that needs more details, but otherwise I have a solid plan," Kaz told them, and this time they found his words convincing enough not to doubt him furthermore.

After assigning each of them a task and telling them to meet at Fifth Harbor in two hours, Kaz dismisses the Crows.Y/N hugs Inej and Jesper on their way out, telling them to be careful, and slipping a newly made knife onto Inej's belt. When Nina walks past her to the door, she slightly turns towards the shapeshifter, as if telling her a secret.

"I don't know what's going on between you and Brekker, but I'm glad you're joining us," she told her honestly and it made Y/N's heart skip a beat. She was sure the heartrender sensed it by the smirk on her face.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked as nonchalantly as she could, but the grin on Nina's face told her she couldn't deceive her. "Whenever you speak his heart beats slower, like your voice is a drug and he just got injected with it. Makes him more calm, that's all. Also, green suits you," Nina winked and pointed at her leather vest under her apron. Y/N gave her a small smile in return, and watched as everyone left her apartment, even Kaz.

She didn't stop him when he went out the door, instead keeping her promise to him and acting like they were nothing else besides old colleagues. Oh but they were much more than that.

Even the word lovers were too much of an understatement for what they were to each other. In her head, Y/N called Kaz many things throughout the years: a colleague, an annoying friend, an asshole, a best friend, a partner in crime, a pain in the ass, her other half. One thing she knew for sure was that no matter how much of a liar and spiteful man he was, whatever promise Kaz made to her, he always made sure to keep it somehow.

I promise I'll give you a new knife.

He stole the one a Dime Lion threw at his head.

I promise I won't tell you drank it.

He created a fake alibi for her.

I promise I won't steal your pancakes again.

He stole the waffles instead.

I promise I'll be willing to try.

He could give her kisses on her skin now. He could take off his gloves and hold her hand for almost fifteen minutes. He could hug her, hold her, kiss her cheek almost without trouble.

He even tried kissing her a few weeks ago, trying to surprise her, but it didn't went well. They still did the things they accomplished in the last two years, but he didn't try kissing her again. Y/N didn't mind it for one minute, because this slow pace wasn't just because of Kaz. She had her fare share with fear of skin on skin contact. If the burn marks on her neck weren't any indicators, then her avoidance of close touches certaintly was.

She could deal with her aversion far better than Kaz, due to her nephew who sometimes clinged to her like there was no tomorrow. Not to mention that she used to work as a waitress in the Crow Club for a few months, before accepting the job as a gunsmith's assisstant. Though sometimes when she got back into her apartment, she felt like just standing in the middle of the room, not wanting to touch any material or fabric. These times even the soft and warm cushions of her own bed made her feel nauseaous. Especially the warmth that mattress could radiate, despite the fact that she always kept her bedroom rather chilly, even in the winter.

Y/N walked down to the workshop and took off her belt, that kept some of her tools on her hip. She also took the dirty apron off and tossed it on the anvil. She glanced around the workshop, wondering how many weapons should she bring with her. She though about the ones she's going to use, the ones for backup, and the ones the others will have to use in the Ice Court. She walked over to the shelves next to the fireplace and grabbed two belts. One for her and one for Inej, once they're inside the prison. She also grabbed gun hoisters, just in case, and put the four items on an empty table. She grabbed a few knives and two revolvers, along with three packs of bullets, so at least four dozen bullets. She began searching for the bag she used for delivering weapons to the Dregs, and she found it amongst the multiple boxes at the back of the room. She carefully placed the guns and the gun hoisters inside, then filled it with the knives and the packs of bullets. She threw the belt for Inej on top of everything and closed the bag. She also put the other belt on her waist, secured it, and filled it with knives, along with her leather vest. Her fingers grazed the edge of the vest, remembering her 16th birthday, when her brother convinced Inej to get Y/N a similar vest to hers

"I hate that you keep weapons on yourself at all times, but you might as well do it with some style."

Y/N smiled at the memory as she grabbed the bag and made her way upstairs.

Just as she was about to close the door, she heard the sound of a cane clicking on the stairs. She left the door slightly ajar, as she went into the kitchen and put the bag on the table. She grabbed another glass from the cabinet along with hers, and poured some kvas into both. She didn't turn around, even when the footsteps stopped and she could feel Kaz's presence directly behind her.

"Do you think you'll be able to pull it off?" He asked as Y/N turned around with both glasses in her hands. She gave one of them to him, as she answered. "If you think I can, then I think so too," she took a sip from her glass and watched Kaz quirk his eyebrow at her. "And why would I think that?" He asked rather playfully. "You wouldn't have offered me a place, if you thought otherwise," Y/N shrugged her shoulders and let the smug look take over her face. Kaz rolled his eyes, but Y/N could see the smile he was hiding in his features. "Your smugness is something I definitely didn't miss in the last few days," he downed the remaints of his drink and stepped closer to put his glass on the table. Right next to Y/N's hip.

"That indicates you missed me in the first place," she said quietly and really hoped her voice didn't waver as Kaz leaned closer to her. She could almost feel his breath on her face as he spoke. "Don't be so full of yourself," he whispered back gently, as he tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, then letting his hand linger on her cheek. It made Y/N's heart melt the first time he did it, and it certaintly melted for the hundredth time too. She gave him a soft smile. "I missed you too,"

Later at Fifth Harbor

Kaz and Y/N parted ways after closing the workshop, to meet the others. Y/N went on a longer route to eliminate anyone that might be following them. The bag felt heavier in her hands, since Kaz insisted on her bringing some first aid items, just in case.

"We won't need at least half of these," Y/N argued with him, and he gave her a frustrated glance. "Is it so evil of me to try keeping you unharmed?"

As Y/N reached the harbor she noticed five figures near the ship that was taking them to Fjerda, and when she heard the footsteps behind her, she let out a smile. "How is your new knife?"

"It's beautiful. I really like it," Inej said from next to her and they began walking over to their group. "I knew the royal blue grip would suit you," Y/N winked at her and Inej softly smiled. "I've been thinking, and I'd like to ask you a question. Is it because of your shapeshifting ability, that you always knew when I was near? I always found it strange that you could notice my presence, when no one else did."

"When I turn back into human, I can still use some traits of animals. Sometimes it's only for a few hours, sometimes it's for days. Depends on the strength of the animal. Excellent hearing is one of them," Y/N told Inej and she listened to her with curiousity. She always liked to learn about new things, and Y/N was more than happy to give her answers.

The two of them came to a stop in front of the group, when all of a sudden the ship in front of them blew up. They all ducked down to not get hit by the wood and glass shards that erupted from the end of the dock.

"That was our ship!" Jesper shouted as Inej and Y/N were already scanning their surroundings. Kaz stood up straight and began limping away, signaling for them to follow him. "That was only a decoy. I counted on something like this happening,"

"Of fucking course you were," Y/N mumbled as she followed him along with the others. Kaz lead them to the real boat, the Ferolind, when someone began shooting at them. The bullets came from more than one direction, which ment the ambush was planned.

Jesper grabbed his revolvers and began shooting back, while diving behind one of the shipping crates, Nina and Matthias following him. Kaz and Wylan wasn't too far from them, throwing bombs at the attackers. Y/N and Inej were hiding in the shadows, trying to see who the attackers were.

"Shit, I need to get rid of this bag," Y/N whispered to herself, before tugging on Inej's coat. "I'll try to pass the bag to the others. Go around from the left, I'll take the right side. Maybe we can attack them from behind," she said and Inej nodded, disappearing among the crates.

Y/N took a glance around the dock and when she saw Jesper behind one of the crates, she slowly began to make her way towards him, but in the last few meters she just ran. She hopped down next to him and pushed the bag into Nina's hands. "There's at least a dozen knives in there, so be careful," Y/N told her and immediately went back to where she came from.

She couldn't see well in the dark, so she duck behind a crate and turned into a black cat. She ran the way where Inej went and she saw her fighting with a man, badly losing. Y/N sprinted towards them and just as she changed back into human, ready to kill the person, she saw him bleeding on the ground, Inej nowhere to be seen. She glanced around frantically searching for Inej, and when she saw her climbing the pyramid of shipping crates she gently grabbed her ankle. Inej tried to kick her and as Y/N saw the girl pointing the knife at herself, ready to avoid capture, she quickly reassured her.

"Inej! It's me!" She exclaimed and saw Inej stop as she took a better look at Y/N. "Are you hurt?" She asked but when she saw dark liquid staining Inej's side, her face fall. "Saints. Come on, I'll get you to the boat!" Y/N said and grabbed the girl's arm and put it around her shoulders. Then she tried to get Inej to her feet as gently as she could, but she still groaned in pain. "Sorry, sorry," Y/N apologized quietly. She quickly got the girl to the dock, before she felt a sharp pain piercing through her shoulder, making her drop Inej as she lost her balance. She managed to let out a scream before she felt the dark waves crash above her head.

The others were already on the deck, ready to help the two girls on the boat when they saw what happened. Nina and Jesper ran towards Inej, meanwhile Kaz stood there frozen, watching the dark water that took Y/N. He could faintly hear Jesper asking Nina if she hears Y/N's heartbeat, and the girl saying yes. He also saw a Black Tip, Oomen, jumping right after Y/N with a rope in his hands. Jesper stepped on deck with Inej in his arms, and Nina by his side giving him orders and Kaz watched as they disappear.

Just when he looked back at the water, Y/N came to the surface, tossing around to get Oomen off her back as he tried to strangle her with the rope. She went underwater again, and the next time she came up she began frantically swimming towards the boat. When she saw that Kaz was about to jump after her, she yelled at him as loud as she could. "Go! Start the boat!" Then she let out a groan as Oomen behind her grabbed her again. "GO, I'LL FIND YOU!" She shouted before he pulled her underwater again.

Kaz knew it was the logical choice to start their journey, before the Ferolind got blown up too, but Y/N's scream was the only thing currently echoing in his mind. He didn't hear Nina and Jesper arguing while trying to keep Inej alive, nor Specht walking over to him.

"Start the boat as quick as you can," Kaz said harshly to Specht as he walked over to a scared Wylan. "Do we have any flash bombs left?" He demanded and the boy pulled the bag off his shoulders and handed Kaz three small bombs. "What are you going to do?" Wylan asked as he held the bag close to his chest. Kaz contemplated just leaving him there without an answer, but in the moment he was too frustrated and angry to care about the image he held. "Save a friend," he told Wylan and for a brief second saw the surprised faces of Matthias and Jesper. Kaz hurried to the side of the boat and threw the three bombs as close to the crates as he could, imitating the explosion of an actual bomb. Kaz was sure the rest of the attackers didn't stay in the harbor long after that.

As they left the harbor, Kaz kept his eyes on the waves below them, even as Jesper told him that Inej was fine, and Nina was currently stitching her up. Everytime Kaz thought he saw Y/N resurface in the water his heart lept from him. And everytime he realized it was just his mind playing tricks on him, his heart stopped in disappointment.

"Where's Y/N?" Jesper asked suddenly. "Is she okay? Did she stay behind?" He didn't got an answer and Jesper was about to walk away from Kaz, when he finally spoke up on a quiet voice. "She got attacked. It's nothing she can't handle though," he sensed Jesper's shock and subtly looked at the side of his face. "What is it Jesper?" The sharpshooter just shook his head, the shock turning into worry as he spoke. "Are you not worried about her? Not even a little bit?" "Not particularly. She can take care of herself," Kaz responded quickly, and tightened the grip on his cane. "But isn't the two of you old...acquaintances?" Jesper asked, slightly confused at the word. He suspected there was more between the two than being colleagues, but Jesper also suspected if he ever told this to Kaz he'd skin him alive. Kaz looked at him with a blank face, before turning back to the sea. "Tell Wylan and Matthias to work on the map," Jesper sighed disappointedly, but did as Kaz said.

Kaz heard someone cough beneath him, and he was certain his imagination was playing another trick on him, but then he heard a familiar voice. "Anyone there? Please," Her voice was weaker than he would've liked it to be, but it didn't stop Kaz from leaning down to see her better.

Y/N was gripping the side of the boat as hard as she could, with blood stained arms. She could hardly keep her eyes open and Kaz hurried to the ropes on the deck, before abandoning his cane and throwing the rope down for Y/N to grab. "Hold on," Kaz told her, and his voice made Matthias, Wylan and Jesper look at his back as he layed down on his stomach. Y/N grabbed the rope and Kaz immediately started pulling her up, letting out a groan as his bad leg protested against it. He felt the rope slowly slipping from his hands and it made him go faster. Y/N was only a few inches away from him, when all of a sudden Oomen emerged from the water, and grabbed her waist to pull her down.

Without a second thought, Kaz let go of the rope and grabbed Y/N at the back of her jacket which made her groan in pain. The others saw Kaz starting to slip off the boat and ran to him, but when they saw Y/N and the man on her back they shared shocked glances before jumping to action. Kaz told them to pull the man on board too, which made them even more shocked. Jesper grabbed Y/N's jacket and helped Kaz pull her up, while Wylan and Matthias grabbed the other guy and Y/N made sure to kick him in the groin once they were both on board.

She began to curse him in Ravkan, before she started violently shivering from swimming in the cold water. Nina stepped on deck right at this moment, when she went to check on the others. The scene before her left her speechless for a few seconds before worry took over her.

"What the hell is going on here?" She asked and when she saw Y/N shivering in her drenched clothes beside Kaz, she quickly went over to her, but was stopped by a very angry Kaz. "You stay there Heartrender," He growled but Nina had none of it. "Saint sake, the girl will freeze to death if you won't let me help her! Let me warm her up!" She said but it only made Kaz angrier. Y/N shook her head as she spoke.

"No, no fire. I don't want fire," She began frantically breathing but Kaz reassured her with gently rubbing her back.

The movement made them realize that Kaz was still holding the girl, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"There won't be any fire," He said to Y/N before turning back to Nina. "You can go," His harsh words made Nina even more angry with him. "Damn you Brekker, I was trained for this! I know what she needs! Let me help her!"

"You don't know what she needs!!" He yelled at her and it made everyone go silent. "Oh, and you do?" Nina asked mockingly and Kaz stayed silent. Then to all of their shock and surprise, he took off his coat while still staring at Nina like he was going to murder her. Then he put the coat around Y/N's shaking form as he helped her up from the ground and took her inside a cabin on the boat. The murderous look not once leaving his face.

After they disappeared, Jesper and Wylan got Oomen tied up and sat against the railing of the boat, stuffing his mouth with an old cloth. Jesper walked over to Nina and opened his mouth.

"Nina dear, can you check if my heart is still beating?" He casually asked her which made Nina turn to him with a questioning look. "I thought I'll have to die before I get to witness something like this,"

"Like what?" Nina asked back.

"Kaz Brekker, being affectionate...and protective?" Jesper answered like he didn't believe his own words.

"Did you...notice the tension between them?" Nina asked sheepishly and when she looked at Jesper he was already grinning. "Notice? I'm surprised we didn't catch on fire yet," he chuckled and Nina smirked at him. "Do you think they know about their feelings for the other?"

"Knowing Kaz, I'd say not in a million years," Jesper hesitated for a second and then continued. "And knowing Y/N, I'd say they're already together, but again, knowing Kaz, he'd rather keep it a secret than publicly admit he feels anything besides revenge."

Nina's mouth was slightly agape as she crossed her arms and fully turned to him. "I can't possibly believe he'd ever admit his feelings to anyone. Especially to that gorgeous woman," she said and Jesper smiled at her with a little mischief in his eyes.

"Would you bet on it?" Nina returned the mischievous grin as she answered. "Certainly. What have you got in mind?"

"We bet on their relationship." "Oh, and how much?" Nina asked curiously as he answered. "Dunno. Does 20 kruge sounds good to you?" She nodded her head and Jesper continued. "I bet that they're already together."

"I bet they don't know about each others feelings," Nina replied and Jesper reached his hand out to her and she shook it. "Deal."

The bet made its way to the others, every one of them voting on Nina's words, with Inej being the most definite about it. Even Specht bet on them, being the only one to side with Jesper.

Meanwhile Kaz was having a hard time reasoning with Y/N, for she seemed even more stubborn when she was injured.

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfiction #six of crows #kaz brekker #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x fem!reader #kaz brekker x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader

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bomberqueen17 · 9 months

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oops

lol yet again i missed doing my friday update schedule. in my defense, a lot's been going on. before I say anything else I should also say-- DMs on Tumblr currently do not work for me, the message thing shows me the preview but if I click on it, I absolutely cannot open the window, it will hang for literal days. I have the square blank in the corner of this tab as I am composing and no longer remember what I was trying to get it to open. So if you send me an IM on Tumblr I will only be able to read whatever of it is in the preview! So don't be offended if I never respond, because I can't write back because the window literally never opens. I got one to open yesterday but it was about 45 minutes and a lot of window reloading. I think it's safe to say that feature's just gotta be dead to me. RIP.

Anyway what's been up! my BFF from high school came thru Thursday night with her kids to stay in my cabin and i was a bit frantic getting the place ready, as it's not exactly listed on AirBnB. (She was like "oh wow this is a lot bigger and nicer than i thought" girl you were going to cram your children and yourself into a tiny half-finished shack with me? what??? jeez) and at the last minute Dude was like "oh i'm coming too" which, fortunately, I had put myself into a full-size bed on the pull-out couch so there was room for him to be there too but if this were any smaller a tiny house that would not have been possible. see, this is why i didn't actually build a tiny tiny house, it wouldn't have worked.

Anyway they left friday and i spent the day making sausage as fast as i could, and then in the afternoon dude helped me package it and then! i had! two full days! off! (ok i'm in the second of those days rn) so

saturday being My Birthday I made a snap decision that we were going to go see some art, so we drove over to the Clark Institute in Williamsburg MA (like a long half-hour away, it's not far) and saw some of my good buddies in the permanent collection.

(Mom used to take us kids there when we were little, and there are a lot of Renoirs and John Singer Sargent and some Frederic Rembrandt and Winslow Homer and whatnot, many of which I have seen so often as to consider old friends. (This Bougereau, Mom had a poster of on her bedroom wall, and I have always loved it. Apparently, my grandpa upon seeing it-- not the letters grandpa, the other one-- exclaimed of the one whose back faces the viewer "Oh Betty, it's you!" Betty being my grandma.)

I discovered quite by accident, while fucking around on my phone, that there was a Pokestop out in the courtyard, and the Pokestop was titled something about Jenny Holtzer, and i was like wait what and sure enough. There's a set of four white granite benches out there with Jenny Holtzer engravings on them.

This one is fucking brutal, as her shit tends to be:

[image description: a white granite bench engraved with the following text, somewhat darkened by pooled rainwater: "BY YOUR REPONSE TO DANGER IT IS EASY TO TELL HOW YOU HAVE LIVED AND WHAT HAS BEEN DONE TO YOU YOU SHOW WHETHER YOU WANT TO STAY ALIVE, WHETHER YOU THINK YOU DESERVE TO, AND WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT'S ANY GOOD TO ACT."]

There was also a temporary exhibition of paintings and woodcuts/lithographs/prints by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch, yes including a lithograph of That Painting. Fairly stunning! Running thru October, I recommend it if you're in the area!

ok idk what else has been happening. i am so tired. i might play some pokey mans today but i also might just. not. really. do much of anything. which is boring and dumb and won't make me feel better next week when i have to go back and do more work and have achieved none of my personal goals. but sometimes brain no worky, and that's that.

#about the author

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gremlintheslut · 1 year

Text

Forever theirs

Part one

Series master list

Don't reupload, translate or do anything like that without permission from me

words 1105.

18+ read at your own risk w

Warnings: breaking and entering, smut, fingering, clit stimulation, orgasm denial, noncon (technically), watching without consent. Fem and afab reader

Summary

An incubus by the name of fin Balor pops into y/n life. She doesn't accept his advances afraid he would be like the last one that she knew.

-----------------------------------------

The walk home from work feels longer every time. no matter how many new shortcuts I find. I try to focus on the fact that soon I'll be able to take my heels off and put my feet up, instead of the fact my legs are killing me.

I turn right, into an alley I recently started using as a shortcut. As I do I walk straight into someone. "sorry" I apologize instantly. "it's alright I wasn't looking where I was going" I hear his Irish voice reply as he helps me up. I thank him for helping me and continue to walk.

The next five minutes feel like hours. I finally see my home from the end of the street. I let out a small sigh of relief to myself as I approach. The last few weeks have been hell. My bitch of a co-worker just got promoted to manager so she is my boss now. Said boss has been on my ass ever since she got the position. Not to mention the shit ton of family stuff going on that she thinks is her business.

Every time I walk into work a second late she makes a snarky comment about how she doesn't blame me for being late with 'everything going on.' Cunt. she does it in front of everyone as well. Oh, and some of the other bitches there think it's okay to laugh when she does it. I swear to god the next time she pulls that shit I am going to rip those cheap ass hair extensions off of her head.

Finally home I take my shoes off followed by my coat. I don't bother to put them away properly. I'll do it tomorrow. "you should really shut your windows all the way when you're not home" the same Irish voice from before say from across the room.

I am understandably terrified. I take a step back wondering if I could unlock and open the door quickly enough. Would I be able to outrun him? I watch him as he puts something down on my table. "I get that you're scared but there's no need to be," he says calmly. "I think there fucking is. There's a man I don't know in my house" I say hoping he didn't hear my voice tremble.

"sweetheart I'm an incubus I can assure you, there won't be a scratch left on you unless you want" he replies quickly. I've had sex with an incubus before. Edge. He was addictive like a drug. I relied on him after a while and he left I can't let that happen again. "my job is to give relief to those drowning in stress" he explains. Drowning in stress. "I'm not drowning in stress," I say slightly offended. "so it's a no?" he asks. "it's a no," I say flatly. "my card is on the table for when you come around," he said before turning around walking away but as soon as I blink he disappeared.

What a wild fucking day. I pick the card up. It reads at the very top in slightly bigger writing than the rest 'Finn Balor' and underneath "say it three times to get your wish" for a moment I want to test it out but the thought of the awkward conversation that would come after made me seal my mouth.

I walk to my room and change into my pj's I put the card on my nightstand and try to sleep. But, he was right. I am drowning in stress. No the relief he's offering won't pay my bills. I roll over and get comfy. My eyes never opened so I completely missed the man sitting in my desk chair watching me though it wasn't Finn.

I wake up the next day and do the same thing. Brush teeth, change clothes, brush hair, makeup, shoes, consider throwing my phone away to avoid the hundreds of missed calls from my dad, go to work, go home, cry in the shower, and sleep. Except I am woken in the middle of the night to a hand roaming up and down my body. My heart starts to pound as I pretend to sleep.

"I know your awake princess" I hear the man's Irish voice say. "I thought you'd go away when I said no" I comment. "no I can come and go as I please I just can't make you cum without you saying yes," he says before kissing my neck. His hand is dangerously close to my pussy now. He pulls my legs open slightly before sliding his hand under my PJs and into my panties. I whimper. "my, my, for someone who said no you sure are wet," he says mockingly. I can't help it he sounds so hot.

His fingers creep up to my clit and begin to rub small slow circles around it. I let out an unholy sound and he chuckles. Should I say yes? No, no I can't do that again. He can't stay forever I learned that the hard way. What if I just don't rely on him? No, I'll end up doing it anyway. Without warning his fingers enter me and his thumb continues to rub circles on my clit. I let out the most pornographic sound yet.

He sets a brutal pace. Between my moaning and gasping, I can hear the sound of my Juices on his fingers. Fuck. I'm already addicted. No, I can fight it. He hasn't given me relief yet and I already never want him to leave my side. I have to destroy that card when he leaves I think as the knot in my stomach gets tighter and tighter.

I'm clenching around him and bucking my hips up. But then he pulls away. I whine at the loss of contact. "say yes" he says I remain quiet. If it wasn't so dark I'm sure I'd be able to see the disappointed look on his face. The knot in my stomach is completely gone.

He kisses me and the cheek and I feel the warm presence next to me vanish. If I wasn't so focused on him maybe I would have seen the tall woman at the end of my bed watching us that disappeared with him. I roll onto my side and try my best not to feel sad or upset in any way about not getting relief or about edges abrupt leave.

I close my eyes and drift off into a dreamless sleep. No dream is better than one about either of the men I fell asleep thinking about.

-----------------------------------------

Thank you for reading my schedule for this series is on the master list -gremlin

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yesloulou · 8 months

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Ill be honest. Idk if I am making sense here but I find Daniel’s attitude and overall lack of comprehension toward the intended - subtle or not - misogyny that he’s around a MAJOR ICK!

I’m thinking of the European 🐱comment, this book etc. Daniel doesn’t come out with anything but a laugh and stunned silence instead of “hey look, let’s not objectify women” or “ah it’s a bit of fun isn’t it? For me, it’s weird, but let’s not shame the person who has written it”. In private he can laugh at as many 🐱 jokes as he wants too, he can talk all day long about how f*cking weird fanfics about him are BUT when it’s in the public eye and he has hundreds of thousands of female fans, it’s pretty gross and feels like he doesn’t care about female fans at all. (Idk if this makes sense in the way I’ve written it)

We all know he doesn’t keep up with the news (he’s said so himself) but he comes across as tone deaf sometimes. You can get away with that at 22,23 but he’s in his 30s with a girlfriend. Come on! It’s not exactly giving “I have a girlfriend and a sister and would hate for my girlfriend and sister to be spoken about like that so let’s chill with the sexist, double standard comments.”

Don’t get me wrong, he’s not the only one (Pierre is a major eyeroll) but he’s not 25, he’s old enough to know better. If this Dax book thing isn’t cut and the drug addict continues to push Daniel to talk about it then shame on Daniel for not saying no - from both his side in it being weird and for ripping apart a female who was just doing something she enjoyed

Just my take. I’ll probably get shit for this

this ask is from a week ago.. sorry about the late response 😳 also the podcast incident has been discussed many many times in the past so i really hope me answering this ask won't reopen the discourse.

pretty sure this was related to the other ask about daniel's non-confrontational personality so im just gonna go from there. if daniel were a confrontational person and he chooses to not address the host's misogynistic remarks, then i think it'd be worth discussing whether he lacks the comprehension. but he's not. in fact he resolves conflicts in the most non-confrontational way possible. and im not saying this just to make a point. when i say 'the most' i really mean non-confrontational in like an almost pathological way.

example:

this was after z*k brown fired him in the most public and disrespectful way possible, including assuring him he still has a seat when they'd already given his seat to oscar. mysterious italian man said to him 'told you not to trust zak' and he just. smiled like this.

another example:

here max can be seen getting more and more annoyed for daniel by the second. meanwhile daniel smiled bigger and bigger. and when max interrupted to defend him daniel was NOT SURPRISED AT ALL even though he had appeared totally ok with Crofty’s question up until that point

idk why he is the way he is, but to me it's very obvious he's not a confrontational person. he's like the opposite of confrontational (would literally smile bigger when he's uncomfortable/offended) idek if they have a word for that. "hey look let's not" is just not something he would say.

i do find it disappointing that he didn't call out the host for the p*ssy comment. imo a moment like that is where he (anybody) should've spoken up regardless. but i'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust that he didn't react simply for the same reason he doesn't react to offensiveness/hostility in general. to me it doesn't necessarily mean he lacks the sensitivity or comprehension.

(the book thing was a whole different story tho. that book was literally erotica written about him. for him it's personal. imo he doesn't need to worry about how the writer feels at all)

#still ty for sending!#asks #*#I do hate what he said about news with a passion #lol #but I like him too much to care as long as it’s not a matter of principle 🫡#txt

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bunysliper · 1 year

Note

prompt: Beckett is self conscious about her pregnant body so Castle takes her to a mirror and shows her how he loves her body now

As always, it’s been forever since you prompted this, Anon, but I hope you’re still out there and that you enjoy this!

Like Yourself

Muffled curses spill from the bathroom.

Castle pauses his attempts to tuck the clean fitted sheet beneath the mattress, waiting for a moment to be sure he's not hearing things. Sure enough, there's another exasperated huff and quiet "Damnit," a moment later.

"Kate?" he calls, finagling the mattress a little higher and doing his best to shove the elastic far enough into the center that it won't slide up as soon as they get in bed later. "Everything okay?"

"Fine," she says, but it's anything but convincing, what with the hesitant pause and watery husk to her voice. "I'm fine, Castle."

He doesn't believe that for a moment, not with the way her voice wavers. But he knows his wife, knows how she processes everything, and he decides to give her the time to decide whether she wants to tell him what's bothering her or not. Barging into the bathroom before she wants him to will just cause her to clam up a little tighter.

"Rick? Can you bring me the pants I draped over the chair last night?" she calls a minute later.

He drops the flat sheet in a heap at the foot of the bed; he'll come back to that later. "On it. What's wrong with the clothes you took in with you?" he asks, rounding the corner to the bathroom to find her standing at the sink, glowering at herself in the mirror.

Her pants, the ones she'd taken in with her, sit low on her hips, unzipped.

It clicks.

"I can't get them closed," she explains miserably, meeting his gaze in the mirror. He can see her eyes are shiny, wet with tears – frustrated tears, no doubt. "Any of my pants, I can't get them to close."

She gestures to her midsection, to the slacks that no longer meet in the center thanks to the rounded swell of her belly.

"How am I supposed to go to work when I don't have a single damn pair of pants that fits anymore?"

There's a quip about staying home and playing hooky on the tip of his tongue, but he stops before it comes out. He values his life and needling his pregnant wife is a terrific way to lose said life. Instead, he just hands over the requested leggings, watching her peel the offending jeans down her legs and step into them instead.

"And now I get to go to work in the same clothes I wore to clean a toilet – that I vomited in, no less – yesterday. All because my damn clothes don't fit anymore. I just…" she sighs, running a hand through her hair. "How am I going to do this, Rick? Get bigger and bigger and go to work and have people take one look at me and decide I'm only still in my position because the department wanted to check a box? Eventually I'm going to be so big I won't even be able to sit at my damn desk."

"You look gorgeous, Kate."

She shoots him a baleful look. "You don't have to follow whatever dutiful husband playbook you think you do, Rick. I don't think I look bad right now; I just don't feel like myself."

He nods in understanding, holding out a hand to her. She exhales after a moment, taking his fingers and allowing him to pull her closer, into the circle of his arms, her belly pressed between them.

"What can I do?" he asks, swiping a hand along her spine. "To help you feel more like yourself?"

"I don't know," she sighs. It's entirely too mournful for his tastes, but he gets it, too; this pregnancy is turning both of their lives upside down, but it's also turning her body inside out. He's never going to have to worry about that. "Maybe just…treat me like you always have? I don't need to be glowing or ethereal or whatever other descriptions you can come up with. Just… treat me like you always have."

"Hitting on you constantly and reminding you of your hotness," he says easily, grinning into her hair when she laughs. "Check."

"Sure," Beckett agrees dryly, patting his chest. "And one other thing?"

"Anything," he promises, loosening his hold on her at her request, lowering his chin a bit to meet her eyes.

"Go buy me some new pants? Ones that don't have a spot of dried salsa on the knee."

He chuckles, dipping his head to steal a kiss from her mouth. He means for it to be a quick peck, an easy affirmation that they're on the same page, but Kate winds her arm around his neck and sinks her fingers into his hair, darting her tongue over his lip when he jolts forward.

"Thank you," she breathes against his mouth, resting her forehead against his. "For trying to make me feel better. Even when I'm crying in the bathroom about not having pants to wear."

"Thank you for suffering through the indignity of a lack of pants for our baby, Kate."

That earns him a smile and the melody of her quiet, delighted laughter.

(read this ficlet on ffnet)

#Fluffy Friday #Castle Fanfic #Castle Fanfiction #Caskett #Caskett Fanfic #My Fanfic #Prompt Responses #Anonymous #Post Series Fic #answers

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fervency-if · 8 months

Note

"I would do anything for love but I won't do THAT." What is the ROs that? What wouldn't they do for love?

The Physician's 'profession' is her calling. She will 'cure' people. She will 'heal' people. No matter people's sense of morality.

So-called typical 'domestic bliss' isn't anything for Aubrey. He needs to live a lifestyle that is somewhat bohemian. Settle, in a sense? That's fine. But he needs to be unconventional, artsy, and without too many responsibilities. Ah, and starting a bigger family? Oh no. No, no. Never. Unless the addition is a pet. A cat, preferably.

Don't 'stifle' Vesa. Don't try to make her too much of a homebody, for example. She has to be sociable and spend time with a lot of people. She loves to have some sweet alone-time with her lover/close friend, but she needs to go out and socialise quite a lot. She certainly wouldn't do well with a too possessive person.

Narciso wants to do whatever he pleases, pretty much. People have tried to change him, put him inside a mold. His demeanour, his looks, his everything. That will not do. He's sick and tired of it. Even a 'you should get a haircut' or something would offend him. Earlier I got a question about the main character picking people's clothes, and he would accept that occasionally if there was a lot of trust involved. That's it. That's all. That's as far as Narciso would want to go. Also, he would never want to marry, and never have children.

Roswhen needs to travel now and then. A steady home would be perfectly fine, but they don't want to be there all the time. They want to be out on the road, so to speak. See the world a bit.

Elan is extremely malleable. This isn't entirely positive, because if it's too much, too far from his own nature, it will make him miserable eventually. One should be careful with him, because he might do things that make him uncomfortable to make other people happy - if he loves someone, he can forget some of his own integrity. For example, he needs his space. He needs some breathing room. He needs calm and comfort. Otherwise, there will be a sad fellow.

I'm ever so willing to add things about the upcoming love interests in the future, when I can pinpoint thing more closely, but let's just say one thing: whatever someone's aesthetic preferences... Francesco would not shave his sleek moustache. Not even if the main character tells him that it's ridiculous at the feast. It's his signature look. Psch!

#fervency ros

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jihyocentric · 1 year

Note

hi lumi so i have a little request if thats alright!!

im feeling soft and i miss puppy!hyo so bad, so what if jeongyeon gets sick and is telling nayeon abt it over the phone and jihyo overhears it and practically begs nayeon to go over and stay with her bc they always take care of each other, and she's worried bc jeongyeon doesn't have anyone to take care of her. and ofc nayeon caves and sure the three of them get sick but they get sick TOGETHER and that's what matters :)

feel free to add or edit anything ofc, but take care!! ty!!

-🐶

it's more than alright!!! i missed them too 🥹

whenever she was too tired to make dinner, nayeon decided to go out with jihyo.

as jihyo was a picky eater, nayeon didn't have many choices, resorting to taking her to the nearest fast food restaurant, knowing that jihyo would eat a plain burger.

"oh, and can i get a pup cup?" nayeon asks the attendant through the speaker, making jihyo look at her as if she'd been offended. "don't look at me like that. you love them!"

"hmph." jihyo huffs, looking at the window instead of nayeon, tail swishing excitedly, giving herself away.

by the time nayeon gets their order and offers the cup with whipped cream to jihyo, she holds back her laugh when jihyo eats it straight from her hand, getting her nose messy with the white cream.

"good puppy." nayeon praises, her free hand patting jihyo's head and rubbing ears softly.

after giving jihyo her treat, nayeon parks somewhere with a nice view for them to eat in peace. well, jihyo ate in peace, while nayeon had to deal with a pair of begging eyes staring at her soul. jihyo always did that. ask for nayeon's food once she was done with hers.

"just a lil' nibble," jihyo whines, ears flat in her head, touching nayeon's arm in hopes of convincing her. "promise i won't take a big bite!"

"you always say that." nayeon sighs, unable to resist her pup. "just one little bite."

she offers her burger, still half eaten, and jihyo nearly drools as she takes her bite. her definition of little wasn't the same as nayeon's, but nayeon didn't have the heart to scold her after jihyo looked so proud of taking less than she did the other times.

"see?! you can trust me!" jihyo tells her, chewing the food.

"i saw." nayeon laughs softly. once nayeon is done and ready to take off with the car, she hears phone ringing. she gets it right away when she sees jeongyeon's name on display. "good afternoon, jeongyeon."

nayeon says jeongyeon's name on purpose. if jihyo wasn't there, she'd probably call her a rag, but it was funny to see her puppy's ears perking up, tail wagging fast when nayeon mentions jeongyeon.

"did you do what i asked?" jeongyeon interrogates right away, without wasting her time to greet nayeon. "it's important, i need that done for next week."

"of course i did," nayeon replies, knowing jeongyeon was talking about work. "still feeling sick?"

"yoo jeongyeon is sick?" jihyo noses in. nayeon nods, waiting for jeongyeon's answer.

jeongyeon coughs, loud, her throat clearly ruined. "i've been better."

"can we go see her?" the puppy asks, sitting on her knees on the seat until nayeon shoots her a look that makes her sit correctly and put the seat-belt back on. "please?"

jeongyeon coughs again. "is that my favorite puppy?"

"no." nayeon tells jihyo, making jihyo pout. "and yes, it's her," she answers jeongyeon.

"please, nayeonie!" jihyo whines loudly, letting jeongyeon hear her clearly. "i've been good!"

"it's not about being good or not. we could get sick if we visited her, and i need to work to pay for your pup cups and burgers." nayeon explains.

"jihyo gets pup cups?!" jeongyeon bursts out laughing, making jihyo frown and nayeon mash her lips together.

"but i miss jeongyeon." the puppy crosses her arms, her pout growing bigger as she talked. "you can take medicine if you get sick."

"i can, but what about you?" nayeon counters. "you don't take medicine when i give you. i have to hide it in your food, and..."

"you hide it in my food?!" jihyo all but yells, feeling truly betrayed this time.

nayeon gasps. "no!" she hears jeongyeon laughing through the line and turns the call off, changing the subject quickly. "fine, we're going to jeongyeon's."

"i bought soup for you." nayeon says the moment jeongyeon opens the door. "god you look terrible."

before jeongyeon can reply jihyo jumps on her lap, forgetting that jeongyeon was sick. she's weaker but she manages to hold the puppy, cooing when she gets a glimpse of her tail wagging rapidly.

"calm down, pup, i'm sick," jeongyeon reminds her, making jihyo hop off her lap quickly. "you shouldn't have come." she tells nayeon. "who will do my work if you get sick?"

"that's all you care about?" nayeon rolls her eyes. "we're staying for the night."

"nice. we'll be jobless by next week." jeongyeon sighs, then looks at jihyo. "say bye bye to pup cups."

jihyo grits her teeth, frowning and leaving nayeon and jeongyeon behind. she goes straight to jeongyeon's room, making herself comfortable on the bed, feeling the scent she'd missed for painful two days.

nayeon makes her way in and places the soup on the kitchen counter. jeongyeon follows, tummy grumbling at the smell of fresh food.

"it's been so long since you took care of me like that." jeongyeon says, taking the food out of the bag. "i missed this."

"did you really?" nayeon asks, watching as jeongyeon took a bowl for herself. "from what i remember, you were the one to tell me you wanted to live life freely, with no strings attached. taking care of you is part of it."

"that was ages ago!" jeongyeon defends herself, pouring some of the soup on her bowl. "you wanted that too, so we could meet new people. why are we even talking about this now? you're supposed to be taking care of me, not fighting me."

"i'm not fighting you. i just think it's funny." nayeon says. "i genuinely do. i would let you dump me again if it meant i'd get to know jihyo in the future."

"i didn't dump you," jeongyeon rolls her eyes. "we made a decision like grown adults. it turned out fine in the end, we're best friends now, come on!"

nayeon stays quiet, but not because she has any regrets or wants to avoid the topic — it was all past and now they were able to joke about it. there were no bad feelings between them whatsoever. in fact, now they felt closer than ever, like it was the right time for them to be together, and there was a special reason for that.

jihyo makes her way into the kitchen, sitting on a stool next to jeongyeon. "can i have this too?"

"didn't you just eat?" jeongyeon looks at the puppy, but she laughs it off instead of letting jihyo reply. "can you get a bowl for her, please?" she asks nayeon.

"she wants it from your bowl." nayeon says, knowing jihyo all too well. other people's food always tasted better for the puppy.

"why not... the sicker we get, the merrier." jeongyeon mumbles to herself, guiding a spoon into jihyo's mouth.

the morning arrives and nayeon wakes up feeling just fine, differently than jihyo and jeongyeon. jihyo had slept in between them, and somehow during the night she managed to straddle jeongyeon's lap and stay there, nose bumping against jeongyeon's neck, tail swishing from time to time, having her usual dreams.

she takes a shower happily, not feeling sick in the slightest, and wears the working clothes she'd brought before coming over to jeongyeon's. she cooks tasty breakfast for them, and instead of hiding the medicine in jihyo's food, this time she places it on the puppy's plate, knowing jihyo was certainly sick. she started coughing not longer after they arrived, the night before.

with her bag already on her shoulder, fully dressed for work, nayeon kisses jihyo's head softly.

"wake up, pup." she calls for her and jihyo stirs at the sound of nayeon's voice, tail starting to wag faster. "breakfast is ready."

the key words are all it takes for jihyo to open her eyes, and jeongyeon wakes up when jihyo sits down on her lap, rubbing her eyes so she could see nayeon clearer.

"are you already going to work?" the puppy asks drowsily, bottom lip sticking out.

"i am," nayeon says, pecking jihyo's lips as a goodbye. "make sure to take your medicine."

"but-" jihyo starts, but she cuts herself off when nayeon raises a brow. "i will." she says grumpily.

"what about me?" jeongyeon asks, sitting on the bed and bringing jihyo closer.

"your medicine is on your plate too." nayeon replies.

"no, not that, i want a goodbye kiss too!" jeongyeon looks at her expectantly.

nayeon leans in and jihyo pouts when their lips meet briefly, but nayeon pats her puppy's head before she goes away and jihyo's pout disappears at the gentle touch.

"she's mine." jihyo tells jeongyeon once nayeon is not there anymore.

jeongyeon smiles. "ours."

"hmph. she's more mine than she's yours, okay?" jihyo argues, wrapping her arms around jeongyeon's neck.

"like 51% yours and 49% mine?" jeongyeon bargains.

"nope! like 90 and 10." jihyo says.

"you know i met her way before you, don't you?" jeongyeon asks and the puppy huffs. "but i'm fine with 10%... for now."

jihyo nuzzles her head in jeongyeon's neck, forgetting about their 'fair' share over nayeon when her tummy aches for food. "'m hungry."

"sit on my side so we can eat." jeongyeon mumbles, taking the tray nayeon left for them and putting it over her lap once jihyo moves away from there. "medicine first."

jihyo's ears fall flat in her head, but she doesn't mind taking a couple of pills or how sore her throat felt, because at least she got to be sick with jeongyeon.

#🐶 anon #nayeon #jeongyeon #jihyo #2yeon #nahyo #jeonghyo #3mix #puppy!hyo #fill

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heartpascal · 11 months

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WEIGHT TOO HEAVY TO HOLD ALONE

"They're both just kids. But they don't get to be, not in this galaxy."

- The Bad Batch

(r)

• turning out - ajr

"i hope you stick around,

we're gonna figure it out,

who can i turn to now?

when i'm still turning out,

i'm a little kid and so are you,

don't you go and grow up before i do,

i'm a little kid with so much doubt,

do you wanna be there to see how i turn out?"

• matilda - harry styles

"you don't have to go,

you don't have to go home,

oh, there's a long way to go,

i don't believe that time will change your mind,

in other words,

i know they won't hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go,

you can let it go,

you can throw a party full of everyone you know,

you can start a family who will always show you love,

you don't have to be sorry for doing it on your own."

• not about angels - birdy

"how unfair, it's just our luck,

found something real that's out of touch,

but if you'd searched the whole wide world,

would you dare let it go?"

• waves - lewis capaldi

"i watched my wild youth,

disappear in front of my eyes,

moments of magic and wonder,

it seems so hard to find,

is it ever coming back again?

take me back to the feeling when,

everything was left to find,

it comes and goes in waves,

it always does, oh it always does,

and the freedom of falling,

a feeling i thought was set in stone,

it slips through my fingers,

i'm trying hard to let go,

it comes and goes in waves."

• softcore - the neighbourhood

"i'm on the run and you're home alone,

i'm too consumed with my own life,

are we too young for this?

feels like i can't move,

sharing my heart,

it's tearing me apart."

• bigger than the whole sky - taylor swift

"every single thing to come has turned into ashes,

'cause it's all over, it's not meant to be,

so i'll say words i don't believe,

goodbye, goodbye, goodbye,

you were bigger than the whole sky,

you were more than just a short time,

and i've got a lot to pine about,

i've got a lot to live without,

i'm never gonna meet,

what could've been, would've been,

what should've been you."

• exile - taylor swift ft. bon iver

"i think i've seen this film before,

and i didn't like the ending,

i'm not your problem anymore,

so who am i offending now?

you were my crown,

now i'm in exile, seein' you out,

i think i've seen this film before,

so i'm leavin' out the side door."

• just your problem - annapantsu

"is that why you always avoid me?

i must be such an inconvenience to you."

"i'm just your problem and well,

i-i-i shouldn't have to justify what i do,

and i-i-i shouldn't have to prove anything to you,

i'm sorry that i exist,

i forgot what landed me on your blacklist, but,

i-i-i shouldn't have to be the one that makes it up with you."

• never felt so alone - labrinth

"i thought you were my new best friend (my),

wish i knew better then,

who knew you were just out to get me?

my whole world just fell apart,

'cause i never felt so alone, felt so alone, na-na."

• i want too far - aurora

"i had to turn around and walk away,

i couldn't stay, i had to walk away,

i'm left behind with an empty hole,

and everything i am is gone,

i tried to reach for another soul,

so i can feel whole,

oh, give me some love."

• take me home - jess glyne

"wrapped up, so consumed by all this hurt,

if you ask me, don't know where to start,

anger, love, confusion, roads that go nowhere,

i know there's somewhere better,

'cause you always take me there,

came to you with a broken faith,

gave me more than a hand to hold,

caught before i hit the ground,

tell me i'm safe, you've got me now."

(joel)

• it'll all work out (bonus track) - phoebe bridgers

"when she needed me, i wasn't around,

that's the way it goes, it'll all work out,

there were times apart and times together,

i was pledged to her for worse or better,

when it mattered most, i let her down,

that's the way it goes, it'll all work out,

it'll all work out eventually,

better off with him than here with me."

• waiting room - phoebi bridgers

"and i can wish all that i want, but it won't bring us together,

plus i know whatever happens to me, i know it's for the better."

"i know it's for the better,

know it's for the better,

know it's for the better."

• angels like you - miley cyrus

"i know that you're wrong for me,

gonna wish we never met on the day i leave."

"it's not your fault i ruin everything (everything),

and it's not your fault i can't be what you need,

baby, angels like you can't fly down hell with me, oh."

howl i cannot tell you how much i have missed this <3 you always have amazing song recs i love listening to them :’)LETS GET STARTED!!!!

turning out - “im a little kid with so much doubt do you wanna be there to see how i turn out” ……. what if i told you that is like .. the most emotional lyric maybe ever. when you want that father figure to just see you grow up and you just want him to be proud of whoever you turn out to be … yeah its them.

matilda - ok so i went to a harry styles concert last year and the AMOUNT of people who sobbed through this song … theyre valid. you can let it go 😭 you can throw a party full of everyone you know 😭 you can start a family who will always show you love 😭 do you hear that??? that’s me sobbing. you dont have to go .. you dont have to go home… WHAT IF I DID A APRT TWO WIUTH THATR IN MIND. sobs. not ok ,.

not about angels - the way ive heard this song so many times but never realised it was by birdy … anyway. also “dont give me up” my babe r has been SILENTLY PLEADING like joel pls

waves - guys . im sorry . these songs r so :’) . i will write something happy one day promise (dont hold me to that) can we take a moment to mention “but there is a light in the dark and i feel its warmth in my hands and my heart why cant i hold on?” GORRRRL. what. im sorry i make my fics so angsty omg this is so :( why cant i hold on is it ever coming back again ???? HELLO. THE ANGST POTENTIAL.

softcore - ARE WE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS (yes reader is but alas an apocalyptic world is just too good of an opportunity of angst to pass up) sharing my heart its tearing me apart 😭 r when they finally get comfortable and let ppl in and then they’re basically rejected ……

bigger than the whole sky - what should’ve been you (joel should’ve been r’s dad full STOP like joel please just give in already (i say as if i didnt write it)) ive got a lot to live without :(((( r has NOTHINGGGG im sorry i havbe to apologise for this one

exile - “im not your problem anymore so who am i offending now?” ????? what if i shed a tear. the bitterness when u apply this to reader. they r so … angry. upset. enraged. not my kid!!! like goddamn joel did you have to make them seem like such a burden to you ???? the emotion. if taylor swift existed in the apocalypse i think r would be listening to her a whole lot (which is saying a lot tbh bc i am not a t swift fan)

just your problem - once again the whole idea of joel implying reader was “must be such an inconvenience!!!!” for him … howl i think you have hit the nail on the head with these songs im ngl. you always slay but these. these r so … ACCURATE AND REAL. “i shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you” so real and so true this one is up to JOEL. he better be begging tbh. down on those creaky knees. forgiveness is not coming easy to this man.

never felt so alone - ok but can you imagine being put in that situation … “my whole world just fell apart / ‘cause i never felt so alone” LIIIKEEE??? just think on it . like how isolating that would be. losing all those people who had become r’s world in one swoop simply because mr joel miller was insecure about his fatherly abilities. like joel, tommy and ellie ???? how is r gonna face any of them after that … so so isolating and so so angsty im so :(

i went too far - gorrrrrrllll. “i tried to reach for another soul” (r trying to connect w joel and form a relationship by joining for dinner and getting him painkillers) “so i can feel whole” (so they could experience family!!!!!!!!) “oh give me some love” (r to joel: pls be my dad. pls be my family. pls dont leave me. pls reciprocate the connection i want to feel. pls.)

take me home - i know i didnt explicitly say anything in the fic but i think it was heavily referenced that r was not doing well when they went to joel and ellie originally, and that was why tommy sent them there. but erm “came to you with a broken faith , gave me more than a hand to hold” …….. sobbing. r thought they finally had a family and joel just had to ruin it. guys. if i write another part do we get the “oh, will you take me home?” moment. will we wont we will we wont we!!!

JOEL SONGS HOWL THE JOEL SONGS!!!

it’ll all work out - “when she needed me i wasnt around” THIS. this. joel you foolish old man. he fails his kids the most by believing they’ll be better off without him. its true. “when it mattered most i let her down” ….. he did tho. “that’s the way it goes, itll all work out” i honestly believe that joel (fictional character yes but shhh) believes that sentiment. that itll all work out in the end EVEN IF IT WONT. “itll all work out eventually / better off with him than here with me” this is so joel coded. this lyric. its so joel miller. because he BELIEVES THIS SHIT. he does. this in reference to joel believing r will be better off alone with tommy around rather than with him. this man ……. hes so …. he’ll get there. but honestly HOWL!!!! this may just be the MOST joel coded song ive had from you so far i think. it fits so well. im in love.

waiting room - “plus i know whatever happens to me, i know its for the better” oh no. oh NO. oh. no. i might just cry with this song like this one … its erm. its. it is. joel miller is such a silly old man :( ITS NOT FOR THE BETTER JOEL. god. i cant .

angels like you - “gonna wish we never met on the day i leave” i hate to say it but r kinda does wish they never met him ….. “its not your fault i ruin everything” 😭 “and its not your fault i cant be what you need” 😭 why does joel think that (bc i made him) LIKE HE IS NOTHING BUT A FATHER AT HEART. he is self destructing personified he really is. i want to say he has the best intentions BUT LIKE. the intention is to protect r from him . listen his heart is kinda in the right place. anyway. this song is so :( like joel just let you ADN r have this its what you both want i-

ALSO AS ALWAYS THANK U SM HOWL I LOVE YOU. i have missed you and your amazing pedro signing off gifs sm. i LOVE responding to your song rec asks :’) ill probably do the atsv one tomorrow!!! much love everybody, hoping to get a howl recs masterpost out ASAP. LOVE YOU ALL.

#heartpascal says #howl <3 #howl’s song recs #gorrrrrlll these ones were so so good #as always but still #SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG!!!#i like spending time listening and looking at lyrics to answer these yk #it takes TIME i gotta appreciate you and your efforts and your song recs #gotta try and do them jsutive fr #ANYWAY #GOING TO SLEEP WILL SPEAK WITH YALL SOON PROBABLY

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everythingsinred · 1 year

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Mikan (pt. 16)

Hey guys. What's up? Long time no post.

Last time, we began one of the most exciting arcs in the manga, the Hanahime Den Arc (aka the New Year's Arc, aka the Discovering Natsume Arc, aka the Flower Garden Association Party Arc, aka That One Arc With Aoi In It, aka the Natsume/Ruka Backstory Arc... Really whatever you wanna call it). Today we'll continue exploring that arc, particularly one incredibly important theme that means the world to me regarding Mikan's very sweet feelings for Natsume.

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Chapter Fifty-Six

The kids dress up. Hotaru and Mikan are wearing very feminine kimonos for the event. Ruka is relieved that his and Natsume’s kimonos aren’t furisode, but they are both still self-conscious. (I wish I could comment more on this in a specific way, but I’m not versed in Japanese traditional wear to the point where I can say what looks more masculine and feminine. I am very western in this way. Serbian folk costume is more or less: dress=feminine, pants=masculine. I’m learning more and more but for now, whenever I see these chapters, I just think, “Wow, these clothes are so pretty!!” and that’s about it. Anyway I loVE folk costume. I’m obsessed with all cultures’ folk costumes.)

In any case, Mikan is quick to comment on how good they look, specifically commenting that Natsume doesn’t look as much like a drag queen as she’d expected (ahh… 2000s humor. RIP). This is "supposed to be a compliment," but he doesn’t take it as one. Mikan gets angry that she got him angry and swears that she’ll let his hand go as soon as they get to the party. That page alone has some intriguing panels. There’s one of angry Natsume, one of angry Mikan, and one of them snuggling! Bizarre! I like to think that this means Mikan is still thinking about it. She may be angry, but she’s still fixated on that moment, perhaps still concerned about his cryptic words. How sweet.

But she won't let go of his hand now, of course. Just later.

Narumi escorts them to the party, warning them not to do anything rude because the MSP is capricious. Even the smallest slight could offend her. This is as much a warning to us as it is to the kids. We will see MSP’s capriciousness soon for ourselves. In fact, the next page features the MSP mourning the fact that boys will be allowed in her palace against her wishes, only for her flower princesses to offer to create a fun diversion for her. Mikan isn’t present for that scene, but it’s important because we can see that the MSP is indeed so capricious that Mikan was destined to be bullied and mistreated before she’d even arrived in time to do anything offensive.

They arrive at the palace and it truly is a palace, much bigger than the middle school building and dorms combined. Mikan is awestruck by everything she sees, by Yamanouchi Shizune’s impressive appearance, the huge building, the party full of incredible decorations--she’s definitely the most visibly impressed.

I think it’s important that Mikan is not just the most childish character in the manga, but a “tactless hick” as well. Mikan grew up in the country, lived in a tiny village and went to a small school. There were no huge buildings or extravagant parties, nothing impressive for the culture fests. Mikan is easily impressed, not just by the fantastical alice elements of this new world (like we are too), but by everything new. It’s not just the alice world that’s new to her; everything is. Furthermore, she refuses to be quiet about her amazement. Whenever she likes something, she says it out loud and proud. No, she’s not the most polite girl, but she is so positive and upbeat. Mikan is not just our Alice in Wonderland, a character through whom the reader discovers a new world. She’s a character in her own right.

The group has to pass the middle school girls’ party on the ground floor before ascending to the Hanahime Party upstairs. As they move, they overhear a lot of gossip. All of them get a little annoyed having to listen to it, but the gossip thrown at Mikan is perhaps the worst, and a precursor to the way she’ll be treated by the flower princesses upstairs: she’s just an ordinary girl, plain and boring and unimpressive--so how on earth did she get invited??

They ALL get somehow targeted by these whisperings... so rude. Though I doubt Hotaru is very offended by a reputation of being "beautiful but strange."

I like Mikan being unimpressive on the outside because it’s honestly exhausting to see every single female protagonist in media being gorgeous and brilliant in every way, an independent and beautiful trailblazer! GA already has characters like that, who are beautiful or smart or both. Mikan doesn’t have to be smart or pretty to be important. The boys who like her are interested in her because of her kindness and excitable nature, not because of her beauty or intelligence. So this occasional outside commentary on Mikan being ordinary makes me happy. They assume that because she’s not gorgeous or academically impressive like Hotaru that there’s no reason why she should stand out. And yes, it’s true that Mikan was not invited because the MSP was impressed by her. No, she was invited because Natsume is impressed by her, because her invitation was a way to lure him in. She is important, even if it’s not in a way that’s instantly valued by the gossipy middle school girls at the party.

The gossip almost gets to her, but seeing Nobara in the crowd cheers her up. Mikan has met Nobara only three times so far. They spent a few hours together at the Christmas Prep, I assume, and that sort of time can get people close, but it’s still impressive that they have such a close bond after so few meetings. And even though Nobara seems obsessed with Mikan, it’s important to note that Mikan always seems just as excited to see her. She loves giving and receiving affection, so even though Nobara's obsession might seem bizarre to anyone else, Mikan welcomes the attention and never judges her for it. But Natsume yanks her back before they can rush to each other.

Nobara is horrified that Natsume is there, demanding to know why Natsume is here at all and then telling Mikan that he shouldn’t be here, that she should stop him. The whole hand-holding thing has been weird to Mikan from the start, but she just assumed he was up to some stupid sadistic trick. His weird comment about the ruse ending soon was a red flag that something else might be going on, but because Natsume never explains anything, she couldn’t really come to any new conclusions. Nobara’s warning here is just another alarm that something about Natsume’s behavior isn’t just annoying--it’s concerning. Nobara is genuinely frightened for Natsume and that comes across in her warning to Mikan, even if Mikan can’t linger to chat about it.

Mikan dragged Natsume around earlier without him complaining so I guess it's only fair he'd drag her around now.

Thus Mikan will keep Nobara’s warning in mind. No matter how quickly she seems to recover from serious or concerning topics, Mikan always remembers them. Nobara’s warning is important in another way too, because Misaki overheard her and made sure to relay the information to Tsubasa.

They finally arrive at the exclusive party to meet the Hanahime girls. Himemiya is beautiful. Mikan is always overwhelmed when around beautiful people, but she doesn’t forget Narumi’s warning, and her awe is staved off a bit by Himemiya’s bizarre behavior around Hotaru. She can be serious too! She doesn’t always get carried away. (Relatively…)

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Conveniently (or inconveniently, if you asked Himemiya), the Ruka mochi gang instantly separate upon entering the party. Perhaps the “ruse” of Natsume’s has reached its end, because he rips his hand away. Mikan rejoices at her freedom, but it’s short-lived.

Because she is singled out pretty instantly.

All of the flower princesses have pretty flower names. Hotaru is given one straight-away on account of being a candidate to become one of them. But the rest of the group get names too--Natsume and Ruka seem to be easily adopted by the flower princesses. It’s just Mikan and Youichi who are left out.

I talked about the reasons why with Natsume’s essay but I’ll recap here. Himemiya is angry to have disgusting boys in her palace (she’s one of those... gross :P), and the flower princesses are trying to comfort her by entertaining her. This entertainment comes in the form of vicious bullying, something Himemiya doesn’t only tolerate--she encourages. (Himemiya is not "one of the good guys" in the way the HSP could be categorized as, even though she isn't necessarily "one of the bad guys" like the ESP.) There’s four candidates for bullying. Hotaru is obviously out of the question because she’s a potential flower princess herself, a beautiful and intelligent girl worthy of Himemiya’s attention and chosen as a candidate authentically, not because of outside pressures. That leaves the others, unfortunate cargo in Persona’s plan. I don’t think the flower princesses are privy to all the details in the plan, but the boys have obviously been permitted to come for a reason. Besides, they’re both very handsome, so the princesses don’t feel the desire to be cruel to them. Then there’s plain and ordinary Mikan, who didn’t deserve the invitation in the first place. What has she done to earn Himemiya’s attention? Nothing, really. She’s neither pretty nor intelligent, so the princesses write her off. She will be the one bullied by the princesses to entertain Himemiya.

Youichi is collateral, but definitely not singled out the way Mikan is.

No, I'm not really a big fan of Himemiya. I don't really get how letting teenagers bully a little girl is "entertainment." Maybe that's just me.

They proceed to the banquet, where a feast awaits them. Mikan mentions that she hadn’t had any breakfast because she expected to eat a lot at the party. But she doesn’t really get to eat anything here either, because the princesses move all the food to the other guests, conveniently leaving Mikan with nothing to eat. The bullying isn’t actually subtle, though the princesses put on airs about it. They move the food in order to serve the others, which alarms Mikan, but it’s strange to think that the others didn’t pick up on it.

When Mikan’s starvation is pointed out, it’s not because the princesses have noticed they’d made a mistake, it’s only to further bully her. If she’s not eating, it must be because her stomach hurts, so she should have some disgusting medicine.

The thing is that Mikan is still heeding Narumi’s advice. She’s trying to be on her best behavior, like he told her to be. We know that Mikan isn’t the type to let herself be bullied. She stands up for herself. She fights back. But fighting back here wouldn’t be in good form. She might just get further bullied. Additionally, she’s obviously not a princess candidate, but Hotaru is. If she acts out, it might reflect poorly on her best friend, potentially even robbing her of an opportunity she certainly deserves. So if you were wondering why Mikan doesn’t fight back or argue with these girls (when she's been bullied by far more threatening figures and never tolerated it), it’s because of that.

She’s pressured into drinking the medicine, meaning she won’t be able to eat for a while. She’s already hungry, now destined to get even hungrier, and she’s just consumed a foul “medicine.” If Nadeshiko’s comment is to be taken seriously, then the concoction is made of some truly sickening things, like frogs’ eyeballs and centipede legs. The medicine doesn’t cure sickness, it creates it. It also smells awful, so her friends don’t want to be around her, not even Youichi, who is also being left out a little (though not at all to the same extent).

Next, they start playing some games, where the loser has to pay some penalty for losing. The thing is, Mikan stinks so she has to play further away and thus never stood a chance of winning. In no time at all, Mikan is defeated. She’s on her very best behavior but is being bullied anyway. Her face has been doodled on, she’s been made a fool of, she’s hungry and sick and smelly. Nobody is standing up for her. Everyone else seems to be having a much better time than her.

It sure would be nice if someone were to... I don't know... actually call out the flower princesses for their behavior. Whatever.

Hotaru comes by with a wet towel, sure, but she’s decked out with an insulting gas mask and doesn’t stick around long. It’s obvious that her friends can see that she’s being mistreated, but they don’t do much to stand up for her. When the flower princesses brush aside the idea of inviting Mikan to play the next game, only Natsume stands up to leave. The others are obviously put off by it, but they don’t do much (that Mikan can see).

Hotaru gets back at Nadeshiko (the main bully) through a prototype of a game, but the thing is that this tactic focuses more on humiliating Nadeshiko than helping Mikan. Nadeshiko is 1. touched that Hotaru chose her to play with, even if it makes a fool out of her, and 2. just toyed with a little. Meanwhile, Mikan watches from a distance and only sees everyone having fun without her. Teasing Nadeshiko doesn’t really help Mikan at all, and it certainly doesn’t stop Nadeshiko or the other flower princesses from bullying her even more. I'm pointing this out because this is Mikan's essay, so only her POV is relevant to me.

Mikan watches sadly, hungry and sick. She feels lonely, miles away from her friends, the only one who’s having a bad time. She misses her other friends, her senpais and her classmates. She wants to go home. Even though she’d been so excited to come here, it’s actually a terrible experience.

And then somebody puts a mandarin shaped chestnut kinton on her head. Natsume tells her to eat up. The orange shape is perfect for someone like her. Natsume is the only person who actually comforts and helps Mikan with her bullying. He sits beside her. He may downplay why he’s there, but he’s obviously here because he was concerned about her. He came to feed her because her stomach was growling. She reminds him that she smells, that everyone’s avoiding her. But Natsume tells her he’d rather be around her than smell the stupid perfumes of the Hanahime girls.

He chooses her. (And she will choose him.)

Hotaru’s tactic of getting back at Nadeshiko didn’t actually help Mikan feel better. But Natsume is making the choice to isolate himself with Mikan. They’re aligned now. Mikan and Natsume are outside of the system of fancy perfumes and shallow performances. She may have been excluded by force, but he makes it clear that he’d rather be left out with her than included with them. She’s more important than they are. Sure, they might bicker a little, but both Natsume and Mikan actually enjoy that and find it comforting, normal.

And we’ve finally reached my favorite aspect of the NatsuMikan relationship. Yes, it’s been said a thousand times that Mikan is Natsume’s sunshine, that she brings light to his dark life, that she saved him and continues to save him. This is all true, but the more underappreciated side of it is that Natsume is Mikan’s sunshine too.

Natsume is capable of making her sad and angry, yes. But he also has the tendency to make her forget all her problems. He makes her feel normal again, sparkly on the inside. She even says something to that extent here, commenting on how talking with Natsume always cheers her up. He “sees through” all her problems and then blows them away instantly. “He blew away my cloudy sky. Weird guy.”

He is her sunshine! My favorite part of their relationship!

Mikan is Natsume’s sun. Natsume is Mikan’s sun. They comfort each other, bring each other joy and solace, more than anybody else.

It’s really awesome that Mikan makes Natsume happy. He has such a miserable life that he needs someone who can bring him joy. But there’s so much focus on his feelings that Mikan’s get overlooked. Despite how hard he tries to be unlikeable and to keep his distance, Mikan still cares about him. He still manages to make her happy, to cheer her up even when she’s being terribly bullied and excluded.

He leaves to go to the bathroom, but she tells him to hurry back so they can eat together.

Mikan has known Natsume for a few months now. She’s been very curious about him all along and has wanted to be his friend for a while. But he’s always so unpleasant and rude. Their relationship got to this point at a gradual pace. This is perhaps the first time that Mikan wants to hang out with him, alone, for as long as possible. Before, she felt uncomfortable even talking to him. She wanted to escape or find somebody else to talk to. Even just a few days ago, during the Christmas Ball, Natsume was the guy she settled for when she couldn’t find her other friends.

I really genuinely can't see how any other ship compares. In GA or otherwise. They will be always be number one to me. I just wish they'd gotten to eat together and chat a lil.

But now, she wants to hang out with Natsume.

And Natsume specifically, because you already know how important that concept is to me. She's not settling this time, just because he's the only one willing to be around her right now. Instead, she's realized that being around him makes her happy, so why not eat together and hang out? They could be left out of the party together.

He brushes her off and insists she eat without him.

Himemiya warns him though. If he wanders where he shouldn’t, he’ll be on his own to deal with the consequences.

The fourth red flag regarding Natsume’s presence here at the palace. Mikan is thoroughly worried about him now. She still doesn’t know why he even came here, but Nobara’s and Himemiya’s warnings as well as the cryptic way Natsume talked about the ruse all plant seeds of worry in her mind.

She’s distracted a little by the flower princesses’ phony apology. They pretend to feel bad and invite her to the kitchen to bring out the desserts, but there are no desserts. Mikan and Youichi are trapped in a dark room by themselves, locked up with nowhere to go.

Mikan is unworthy of her invitation. She should never have come here, as ordinary and unimpressive as she is. She is locked up now so she can think hard about how lowly she is compared to the others.

This is not Mikan’s first time being bullied, but there’s no way to get used to this sort of treatment. Mikan doesn’t actually think very highly of herself, and the frequent bullying she faces doesn’t really help. She doesn’t fully value her own alice, her appearance, her creativity, her great big heart or unwavering optimism.

Mikan is alone with a toddler in a dark room. The only person who made her feel normal and happy all day is gone.

Chapter Fifty-Eight

The flower princesses accuse Mikan of cheating her way into getting invited. She demands to be released, but they leave her and Youichi on their own. She pleads for someone to figure it out.

She eventually runs out of energy. She feels especially guilty because Youichi was only locked in with her incidentally. Mikan is the one who is hated. Youichi just got punished because of bad luck. She apologizes to him, which seems to move him somehow. He offers to share some candy with her. It’s very sweet how their relationship has progressed. When she first met him, he refused to share his howalon with her, but now he’s offering his candy unprompted.

But Mikan never gets to eat her candy because a mouse steals it. It’s for the best, though, because the candy was actually a Gulliver candy, and Youichi consequently aged ten years!

They’re eventually found by their friends, but only after Youchi kicks the door open for them.

The flower princesses who bullied Mikan are to face punishment for their actions, potentially even being kicked out of the group. But Mikan tells them to forgive the girls, even despite the awful things she just went through. She said just a few minutes ago that she hated them, but I think that now that she’s out, she can see the situation more clearly.

Before, they couldn't see what could make Mikan special because she was neither gorgeous nor particularly intelligent. But now they love her because of how kind she is (though it might not be entirely kindness that motivates her here).

Natsume never sees the hype in this sort of thing. He thought this party was stupid and shallow, something they were both above. And then Youichi showed his kindness by offering his candy, even if it was Gulliver candy. The party that she’d wanted to go to so badly doesn’t really matter anymore. She doesn’t want to be a flower princess anymore. She has people who love her and want to spend time with her even if she might be "unworthy." They don't need her to prove herself, so how good could a group that does require a degree of "worthiness" be?

Additionally, Mikan is a kind, compassionate, and forgiving girl. The princesses did all this because they were protective of their group, because they love Himemiya. So she forgives them.

(Though I think just chalking all this behavior up to two girls being spoiled is letting Himemiya off a little easy. She was obviously entertained all along and will continue this arc acting in ways that benefit her own amusement more than any moral stance.)

And it’s only now, when the princesses can see past her average looks and unimpressive smarts to see what makes Mikan so amazing and special: her big heart. Now she is Mikan no Kimi! Yes, she’s only given a flower name after she stops caring about it. For a while now, she's been more interested in eating kinton with Natsume than getting a flower name.

But Shizune points out that even though Mikan surely didn’t cheat to get invited, it is suspicious that she was selected. Becoming Natsume’s partner, somehow, and now this--she must be special somehow. Mikan has been asked this and has wondered it itself since she first enrolled. She’s singled out and can’t tell Shizune why because not even she knows. Nobody tells her anything.

And then Youichi reminds them all that Natsume is still missing. It’s only now that they get any semblance of an explanation for all this. Himemiya may be a freak, but allowing Natsume to attend was Persona’s doing.

Another arc with emphasis on saving Natsume, who prefers to save others.

Persona, for some reason, is allowed free reign in much of Himemiya’s territory, particularly here where her barrier alice is strongest. What is certain is that if Natsume was lured here, then nothing good is waiting for him.

Chapter Fifty-Nine

The flower princesses who bullied Mikan last chapter are now strangely protective of her after she forgave them. They insist that the group shouldn’t go after Natsume, but Mikan insists that they have to. She has a bad feeling that he might get hurt, and we know already from the Reo Arc that Mikan trusts her gut 100%. She didn’t think at all about consequences when going back for him then and she’s not thinking about the consequences of looking for him now. This isn’t optional.

Natsume has been acting strange all day. He wanted to come here, to look for something, and that’s strange because Natsume doesn’t ever want to do things. The fact that they’re being warned against going after him only makes her more concerned. Natsume’s already down there, probably in danger, so they have to go after him to make sure he’s safe. Luckily, her friends are all on her side. Hotaru, Ruka, and Youichi all take off with her, rushing to the basement.

I know my analysis here is short but I actually really enjoy this chapter. It's just... not a lot of content for me to analyze.

They’re trapped in the bowels of darkness for a while, descending the stairs into the basement. They’re confronted by Hayate, on the DA class’s discipline squad. He is here to punish Natsume, but because some stragglers have joined, he’s been sent to take them out. The discipline squad is used to working against the effects of the strong barrier down here. The other kids aren’t. Thus, Hayate is at a significant advantage. He probably would win effortlessly, except that he catches sight of Hotaru and falls instantly in love with her.

Chapter Sixty

Hayate loses all interest in fighting them now that he’s seen Hotaru’s face. The others are incredibly confused by his complete 180 in behavior. They decide to just walk away if he’s not attacking anymore. He continues to pursue them, trying to hit on Hotaru, until they run into another discipline squad member, Rui. Rui came here, looking for a “cute guy.” He’s the one to recognize aged-up Youichi.

A fight ensues. Rui’s alice is incredibly dangerous and Youichi’s is the only match for it.

Mikan wants to run, but Youichi tells her not to look.

And that’s not just him talking.

Mikan cares for Youichi, obviously, but it's interesting that so much of that care is related to her care for Natsume.

Mikan remembers all that she’s learned about the DA class from Reo, who described an organization that trains the children to be spies. There’s a darkness in this school and it manifests most powerfully in the DA class. Natsume looks out for Youichi, partly because nobody else does. After all, nobody looks out for him either.

Mikan has already seen little glimpses of what Natsume’s regular life is like within the DA class during the Z Arc, when she watched him fight, be strategic, think like a soldier instead of a kid. Youichi is only three, though, and he seems just as used to fighting. And he’s telling her not to look.

Because all the DA class kids are different from the rest of the school. They live a horrible, dark life, isolated from others because others won’t understand their experiences, because other kids bully them. Even a toddler like Youichi thinks in a way no child should, especially at three, that he needs to protect Mikan even if he gets hurt.

(Because Natsume told him to protect the others. That’s just how DA kids are.)

But Mikan doesn’t like that. Youichi almost gets hit by a surprise attack before Mikan tackles him, protecting him with her alice. Mikan doesn’t want to just sit back and be protected. She wants to do the protecting too, especially since her alice works best protecting others. The problem is that her alice is harder to use with this barrier, so she gets a little cut from Hayate’s alice. Rui recognizes her then as Natsume’s partner and taunts her that coming here was pointless because Natsume will be trapped in the dungeon forever.

Both Mikan and Ruka are horrified to hear that. Mikan remembers the ESP’s ominous warning on Christmas, that she should be careful not to lose anything important to her. It seems that the superstition might have some truth to it, because if Natsume gets locked up forever, then she’ll certainly be losing something important.

She demands to know why Natsume would be locked up, but Rui doesn’t seem to have all the details. He mentions Natsume falling for stupid bait and coming to find his sister.

Wake up, babe! New Natsume lore dropped! (We already knew that, though.)

Ruka is obviously affected by this news, but he knows about Natsume already so that makes sense.

Mikan is surprised by this. She’d been so irritated with him but all of this had been his desperate effort to find his sister. Of course, he never told her that because he never tells her anything, so it makes sense that she’d be irritated with him. In any case, she’s entirely concerned now. Natsume is being punished, being called a criminal. He was lured here with rumors about his sister, who shouldn’t be locked up anyway.

The point is that Natsume is here for a noble cause and he’s going to be punished, which is simply unfair. Mikan cares about him and doesn’t want to lose him because he matters to her. She was able to use an impressive amount of alice to keep Natsume at school with her, up to bat against the stealing alice threatening to take him away from her. She won’t let Persona take him either.

But Rui ramps up to punish them and move on, but he’s interrupted by Tsubasa arriving just in time.

Sixty-One

The group fills Tsubasa in on the situation. The priority is to save Natsume before he can get locked up. Turns out Rui is infatuated with Tsubasa. It’s interesting how these fights are complicated by the question of attraction. Hayate for Hotaru, Rui for Tsubasa. The DA kids are so weird. I don’t have a point about that. It’s just an interesting trend.

Something something the Reo Arc focused on Mikan showing Natsume that he has something to live for and this arc shows him how many people are willing to fight for him. Whatever.

Turns out Tsubasa’s curse mark was created as a punishment by Rui, who can inflict pain on him whenever he wants. Where Hayate’s crush on Hotaru made him pretty harmless, Rui is the opposite. He is sadistic in some ways, and won't hold back just because he likes Tsubasa. But Hotaru has had enough dilly-dallying. They need to save Natsume, not waste time on these idiots.

(And it’s so interesting that she looks at Ruka and assures him to his face that they will save Natsume. I'll save that for another essay, I suppose.)

Ruka surprises them all by summoning rats to attack Hayate and Rui. Mikan is shocked, and so is the reader (ideally) because Ruka has never used his alice violently before. It turns out his alice has some substantial potential to cause epic damage, but that’s not the kind of person Ruka is. He loves animals. Whereas Yuri hates her own alice, and Narumi and Reo view their pheromones as weapons or tools for manipulation, Ruka’s alice has always been an accessory to his love for animals. He uses his alice to aid communication, to tame animals through love and gentleness. He hates the idea of hurting animals, or manipulating them, so he would never use his alice like this normally.

But he loves Natsume too, and that’s how desperate he is to save his best friend: he’d even risk hurting these rats for him.

That’s as good a warning as any that this situation is serious and dangerous, on par with the Z Arc. Hayate and Rui might be funny characters, but this is not a comedic arc.

Ruka says that Natsume had started to lose hope in life before meeting Mikan (and the others, but… we know the truth), but that he’s different now. He loudly defends Natsume, insisting that he won’t allow Natsume to be called a criminal anymore, and he certainly won’t allow him to be locked up. Ruka announces that he’ll stay with Tsubasa and Yoichi while Mikan and Hotaru go ahead to save Natsume.

Saving Natsume without Ruka? That's not even possible! (Which is why Ruka would NEVER have left Natsume's side before his death, not for all the burns in the world, not for any of Natsume's pleading or Tsubasa trying to grab him, nothing. I will always be bitter.)

Mikan can’t hear his tragic internal monologue about this decision, but she doesn’t have to. Ruka not being there to save Natsume is ridiculous. Ruka has to save Natsume, because nobody loves him the way Ruka does. And of course she thinks this way, because Natsume’s biggest defender from the start was Ruka. Her very first day at the academy, she’d heard nothing but bad rumors about Natsume, but Ruka was the only person to shut those rumors down. He’s always by Natsume’s side, always standing up for him, always insisting that there’s more to Natsume than there might appear. Ruka has been saving Natsume time and time again, doing his best to protect his reputation and stand up for him, staying by his side, all in little ways. They might be small actions, but Mikan noticed.

Mikan wouldn’t feel what she feels now about Natsume if it wasn’t for Ruka.

So how could Ruka not be the one to save Natsume?

(Note: these paragraphs are really hard for me to write because I'm crying and the tears are fogging up my glasses. Natsume and Ruka’s friendship simply hits different for me.)

Tsubasa and Youichi join in, pushing Ruka away. They’ll take the fight from here. Ruka and the girls should chase after Natsume and save him. They head off together, and Mikan remembers what Narumi had told her in Chapter Ten, that she should make lots of friends at the academy because they will become precious treasures to her.

She’s always believed in him, but that feels more true now than ever. Her friends are precious to her, so she won’t let Natsume be locked up. And it’s true for them too--Ruka has a precious friend he would do anything for.

As they walk, Ruka tells Hotaru and Mikan that he should finally tell them the truth about Natsume.

About damn time that Mikan finally gets some answers. Not that she isn't already in love with him, but she's waited long enough!

Dear God, we’ve been waiting for this one for a long fucking time. More than sixty chapters to finally “discover” Natsume. Mikan has been looking so closely at him for so long to figure him out. She ended up seeing a lot that she liked, to the point where she’s gained a pretty sizable crush on him (even if she is unaware of it), but he remains a mystery. So much of what he does is inexplicable and bizarre.

Natsume would never tell Mikan this story. He never talks about himself like this. It only makes sense that Ruka would be the one to share, because he’s always the one to share. Natsume wants to protect people from his dark life, but Ruka wants to protect him, and the best way to do that now is by telling the girls everything, the entire story of how they came to the academy.

Conclusion

Natsume is Mikan's sunshine and she's willing to fight for him, no matter what! Today has already taught her so much, and yet the day hasn't even come close to ending! Tomorrow I'll post again! I'm not sure how many more parts this arc will have. Maybe two? We'll see. The analysis coming up is long and detailed! I'll be discussing lots of things!

I'm officially back! I got a new job (for real this time) which is Monday to Friday from 8 am to 4 pm for the next four months. So I won't be posting on weekdays from now on (maybe on Fridays depending on how tired I am). I'll try to write in the meantime because I have a lot of analysis to do to maintain a good gap! I wanna be ahead of y'all.

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#gakuen alice #alice academy #ga #sakura mikan #mikan sakura #natsume hyuuga #hyuuga natsume #my meta #ga meta #ga meta: nm #ga meta: manga #ga meta: manga nm #let's talk about natsumikan #let's talk about natsumikan: mikan #nm: m song of the day can be...#sports by beach bunny #though i'd argue mikan's feelings are significantly more positive at this current moment than suggested by the song.#i get that. ive just been waiting to use this song for a while!#im scared for myself #i have a LOT of widow!mikan songs... probably the vast majority of the songs on her nm playlist.#or at least theres more songs for that particular period than any other era. and that sucks cuz theres a lot of other eras!#and i need songs for each post! im so nervous that ill run out of songs and have to start pulling out the widow!mikan tunes.... rip me #i always feel guilty for cutting out other characters in the title images. its a ship essay im so sorry

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ikeuverse · 2 years

Text

merry (not bad) ending | epilogue

fiance!hyunjae x fem!reader

gender: fluff until you can't take it anymore.

warnings: none in this chapter. italics is flashback.

wc: 1953 words

notes: i definitely want to say goodbye to this series i made of hyunjae, so i decided to close it in style by posting this epilogue! merry (not bad) ending comes to an end, but there will be many other plots with our dear jae. hope you enjoyed it, thanks to everyone who followed! <3

✧ m.list ✧

"Hi" Eunji raised the glass of drink towards you as you smiled, looking happily at Yuna in her wedding dress hugging Sangyeon.

"We finally got our youngest to marry" you pretended to wipe away a fake tear while your other friend giggled. It didn't mean that either of you hadn't cried through the entire ceremony until the wedding reception.

"Now only Kevin is missing from our foursome" she commented hopefully as she saw the boy hugging his girlfriend.

"Hey, I'm not married either" you said slightly offended.

"But there was a request, silly" she laughed at your reaction.

You laughed back remembering when Hyunjae asked you - duly - to marry you. That memory hitting you with nostalgia and even more love.

Your smile widened even more after Hyunjae sat down in the huge armchair, straightening his back as Eunji held little Sunghee. As soon as she passed her own son into her brother's arms, Hyunjae froze.

He was wide-eyed and flicked his gaze between the little one in your arms and between you and Eunji, who were holding back laughter. Although, in your chest, something heated up in an overwhelming way seeing your boyfriend holding that little being.

"He won't fall, Jae" his sister commented amusedly.

"But I'm about to faint from holding him, he's so-" Hyunjae sighed as Sunghee shifted in his lap, the man closed his eyes tightly almost screaming for his sister to take him back.

Eunji soon picked up her son and Hyunjae could breathe a sigh of relief that he didn't have his nephew in his arms. Not that he didn't like it, on the contrary, he loved it. But the little one still had a limp body and he had an absurd fear of doing something that could hurt him. Even though all the people around saw the extreme care that Hyunjae had to even breathe the same air as his newborn nephew.

After that, you stayed a while longer to see if Eunji and Haknyeon needed anything before they left.

Hyunjae drove the whole way in silence and you would think he was still nervous from holding Sunghee a little while ago, because his hands were firmly on the steering wheel giving you the perfect view of the veins bulging from his arms. A sigh left your lips at the sight as you turned back to the window now noticing that you had gone to Hyunjae’s apartment.

"Babe" he called you after the amazing dinner - not to mention disastrous at first - that the two of you tried to prepare, resulting in some burnt rice, but Hyunjae managed to save most of the food before showering you with kisses after putting you in. sitting on the kitchen counter.

"Yes?" you lifted your head that was lying on his chest, grabbing the pale fabric of Hyunjae's t-shirt and smiling at the deer eyes that stared at you expectantly.

"Which apartment do you think is bigger, mine or yours?" the question was so soft you had to chuckle as you thought.

"I think the two are almost the same size" you replied after a few seconds thinking "But I think your living room is a little bigger, not to mention I love your couch."

He just nodded while biting his bottom lip in response.

"Why?" when you realized that you didn't get a continuation of it, you decided to go on with the question.

Hyunjae's hands traveled to your lower back and he hugged you even tighter against his body, resting his lips on the tip of your nose before kissing your forehead and finally reaching your lips.

"Come live with me" he whispered after kissing you.

"What..." your voice was muffled by his mouth, Hyunjae rolled his body over to lie on top of you now. Your back rested on the mattress as he settled between your legs.

"Yeah, let's move in together" he kissed you all over your face until his forehead touched yours "Marry me."

The world seemed to stop right before your eyes. Hyunjae was staring into your eyes and that was all it took for everything to stop. The horns outside his apartment, the noise coming from the street, it all stopped. Just you and him there at the moment.

"You... Is this serious?"

“Of course yes" he looked slightly nervous, shifting his body between your legs to find a comfortable position as he lifted one of his hands to caress your face "I wanted to make a decent proposal, find a beautiful place while I knelt down and ask for your hand, but-" a loud sigh left his throat, he looked away for just a second before staring back at you "I feel like I might screw this up and I get nervous that you might say no so I thought ask that out of the blue because then you won't-"

"Lee Jaehyun" your voice cut him off instantly and he quickly stopped talking. Eyes staring at you a little scared at the moment, you held back your smile as you lifted one of your hands to brush away some strands of his hair covering his forehead "That was the best request in the world because you made it" you kissed his lips for a while, only to feel him soften between your legs "And I couldn't say anything other than a huge yes!"

"What? Really?" he widened your eyes.

"If that was your request, then yes."

"But... But for you to marry me or come live with me?"

You paused slightly dramatic, chuckling a little as he became impatient getting off you and lying down beside you. This was the chance you found to jump over his body and hook your legs around Hyunjae's waist.

"Both, silly" you leaned in to kiss him "I would love to marry you and live together too."

The smile on your lips tripled as you looked at your ring finger noticing the ring Hyunjae had put there, the same day you went to your old apartment to get your things and see what would stay there and what would go to the his apartment. Now from you two.

"It's not funny that I throw the bouquet" Yuna had already paid attention to practically all the guests during the party, now she wanted to sit with the two of you and enjoy the rest of the night while Sangyeon also came to greet you.

"Of course there is" Eunji pushed her friend lightly by the shoulder "We need to make Misuk take it."

"And then Kevin will have a heart attack, want to see?" Sangyeon sat between Yuna and you, laughing loudly as you both laughed too.

"And where are the others?" Yuna looked around for the boys.

"If you guess what Hyunjae is doing, I swear I'll take this bouquet and pretend I'm not even engaged" you heard your newly married best friend chuckle as you searched for the boy among the guests.

It wasn't hard to find him, he was wearing the same color suit as all the groomsmen, the only difference was that Hyunjae had abandoned his blazer that was on the back of the chair you were sitting on at the moment. Yuna felt her lips form into a small pout as she saw her friend with Sunghee in his arms. The seven-month-old baby cackling as the drooling uncle hovered the tiny body in the air imitating a small plane. Sunghee occasionally put one of his hands over his mouth while laughing, now snuggling into his uncle's arms because Hyunjae felt his arms getting tired from lifting his little body to play.

He took a deep breath after a while of playtime as he handed the baby over to Haknyeon, who held the baby with a huge smile on his lips kissing the top of little Sunghee's head. Joining the other boys, they decided to join the tables to make it even better with all of you together.

"Oh, I can finally have my baby with me" Eunji joked after Haknyeon sat down, Sunghee whimpering and raising his little arms to his mother's lap.

"He wasn't even missing you" Hyunjae grimaced and sat down next to you, chuckling at your fake reprimand and the grimace Eunji made towards him.

The rest of the wedding party followed as usual the meetings at one of houses of some of you. Food, drink, lots of laughter and music. And now you split for who held Sunghee when he started to get sleepy and whiny. You had to have a long talk with Hyunjae for him to let everyone participate and for him to allow his friends to also hold Sunghee.

It felt like you was talking to a six-year-old explaining to his why he couldn't have candy for dinner.

"And that smile?" Hyunjae dissipated the conversation he was having with his friends to look at you.

"I love seeing you with Sunghee" your voice came out calm and low, knowing he would hear because of how close you were.

Hyunjae leaned down enough to capture your lips with his in a quick kiss.

"Do you think I'm a good uncle?"

"You're a amazing uncle" this was no lie and you loved seeing Hyunjae's smile widen when it was said out loud "But I think it might be a little more than that."

"What?" he still kept leaning towards you, but now just to hear what you had to say while your friends chatted about anything.

You loved being an aunt, loved the idea of little Sunghee bringing joy to the whole group. But you felt something was missing and you knew that ever since you moved in with Hyunjae, the urge to give him a baby was screaming. Your careers were already consolidated, the apartment was perfect for the two of you, not to mention the relationship and complicity you developed since you got back together. Those years had really done both of you good and a lot had changed.

"How about another baby?" you asked.

"Do you think Eunji would give Sunghee a little brother?" Hyunjae frowned and you huffed then, patting his arm lightly as you heard him grumble in protest "What? Why are you hitting me?"

"Because you're an idiot" your hand hit his arm again, but lightly, as you brought your lips closer to Hyunjae's shoulder "I'm saying we give Sunghee a cousin, maybe."

"Oh" Hyunjae lifted his face as his fingers touched your chin, grinning at you "Want to make a baby?"

"I want" you confessed.

He smiled even wider, kissing you and hugging your body on the side. Hyunjae then laid his head on yours that was lying on his shoulder now, caressing your bare arm from wearing the short-strap bridesmaid dress.

"So we're going to make a baby," he commented amusedly, shaking his head when you lifted your to look at him quickly, "But I want twins."

"Hyunjae..."

"Seriously, imagine two versions of me running around our apartment?"

"Uh... I think Sunghee is enough, don't you?" your voice was playful, not least because his idea wasn't bad at all. Even though Hyunjae was tough, you loved the idea of having mini versions of him around your house calling you mommy. It was with that thought that you sighed even more in love with your fiancé, looking at Eunji and seeing that she was holding the mini version of Haknyeon. Sunghee was his father's copy. You thought that was adorable and your heart fluttered even faster at the thought of having a baby, counting down the time until it was your turn to be holding a mini Hyunjae in your arms.

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cherienymphe · 9 months

Note

She only told became she's terrified for what will happen to Nat and she's trying to lessen the punishment. What reason would she have to tell that she saw her? How would that lessen anything? This decision makes sense. She wants Nat out of the basement and safe. Telling Peter she saw Nat that night does not. This decision was done with a goal in mind. Telling Peter the other thing would have no goal because they see that on the same level as Nat escaping, possibly even worse.

I think it's a bit unfair to paint the reader as untrustworthy especially after the position she's put herself in to protect Nat. If anything, she's the most trustworthy one in the house what with not telling any of the husbands the things their wives say and insinuate about them. Her decision in this chapter was driven by guilt and desperation and a strong desire to keep Nat safe. If Nat is confirmed to be pregnant, she won't be in any danger of bodily harm and that's all the reader wants

I guess I was only considering that Natasha would be upset that the reader told because she’s prepared to face her consequences and not that she’s trying to lessen her punishment. My reason for saying that it’s not a good idea is in case Natasha was pregnant but isn’t anymore because that would lead to a very obvious conclusion about what she did. And I agree that it doesn’t help her station to tell Peter that she saw Natasha but I feel like he gave her a chance to come clean about anything else that she shouldn’t have done and hadn’t told him yet, and because she didn’t he will be more hurt in the future because she held back and may be harsher. That’s why I was saying that was her one time to come clean, even though it results in punishment either way, because it seemed like he was giving her a window. And there’s no doubt that he figures out later just because she can’t seem to keep things inside when it comes to Peter.

And I should’ve made it clear that I don’t mean that the reader isn’t dependable. I mean that I couldn’t trust her because if it comes down to it, the women will have to look out for themselves and the men will get any information necessary out of them. And they make their own decisions on when to tell secret information. Even Peggy said that she likely would’ve told if she saw Natasha leaving because she has to think about herself.

But I hope you don’t take my comments as a criticism on your writing. I’m sometimes frustrated by a character’s actions even if I know they were necessary, and I should be less severe with my words or explain them more. I’m sorry if I offended you

Your comment didn't offend me! I just wanted to explain the reader's side of things because I do understand the concern for how Nat will feel. It's a sticky situation and I won't say whether or not Nat will be fully understanding about it, but Nat will see where the reader is coming from. Nat has guilt of her own she's dealing with on behalf of the reader (that will only worsen after the next chapter). Tbh they're both just miserable and feeling guilty about the other.

And yeah I see why you would want the reader to just tell Peter outright about that night when he asked, but I think there's this assumption Peter will be lenient on her solely because the reader entertained that thought herself. The reader understands the severity of what she did. That's why she doesn't want it to ever come out. Nat neither. I was serious when I said in their eyes, the reader's offense is worse than Nat's. The reader's betrayal is bigger than Nat's. The reader knows she fucked up so bad and it's why she'll never tell the truth about that night unless she's literally forced to because doing so won't make anything easier. It'll just make things a hell of a lot worse

#asks

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of-hopes-and-daemons · 2 years

Note

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve? Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

[ Taken from this questionnaire, as of now - accepting more! ]

Thank you for an ask!

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

I will be doing this one for Sanya, the precious potato ex-guardsman.

I feel like a good case for a moment when he felt if not the most, than at the very least very uncomfortable was during that one time when he was pretending to be a fledging ship captain of a gala thrown to celebrate someone's ascension to the status of a Rogue Trader.

Stiff protocol, people who are clearly unhappy about him breathing their oxygen, odd etiquette demands and gnawing feeling that if not originally so, than now he is just here to be the class clown.

Also absolutely abhorrent series of interactions with the host left him very out of his element and now even tiny cupcakes in the buffet weren't able to help.

Thankfully Lacedrace quickly stole what she needed from the governors personal museum and they took their leave.

Not to add those were his first ever interactions with people so far removed from his own place in society and also his first time in year or more interacting with normal people and not his lovely group of weirdos, renegades and aggressive wildlife.

In conclusion, my man is kind of heart, dumb of ass and reverts to unga-bunga when faced with formal protocol.

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Doing this for everyone's favourite, Shanakay.

Shanakay, when faced with criticism of literally anything about how will, first of all, tell offender to go and make passionate love to themselves. Secondly, she will go through grief and denial several times in a row. And then will viciously correct any actual or imaginary imperfections in her performance or actions or appearance or whatever.

In some occasions, however, she just might find critic, criticism or topic so below her attention she won't even react. Or maybe stab the offending party.

There is also rare "playful banter" possibility, but it haven't happened in a while.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

Will do this one for An'Hangra, another fan favourite.

Now, as it was once said - through unimaginable violence nothing is impossible and she lives by these words.

If axe is not solving your problem - try a bigger axe. If bigger axe is not slowing your problem - try a different weapon. Id different weapon is not slowing is just means you are not using it vigorously enough. If even this fails - maybe you are the problem.

So, she is definitely somewhat flexible, but her different solutions are hardly different and in vast, vast majority of cases involve some form of swinging around sharp objects. To say that carnage and bloodshed won't solve an issues is a quitter's talk.

#wh40k #wh 40k #warhammer 40k #chaos daemons #imperial guard #the horizon's in my sight #chasing perfection #the hunt comes for you #as it was foretold

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justmybookthots · 9 months

Text

Last of the Talons

4/5 stars

This (physical) library book has been on my desk for about over a week; I kept reading bits of it and then putting it off for other books. At one point, I considered just returning the book because reading paperbacks compared to ebooks felt… tiring. It’s a lot of work—you need good lighting, but then that means I gotta open the curtains, but opening the curtains means letting the heat in, and the heat is nothing to joke about over here. (There is also the fact that the mess in my room becomes more visible, but that is neither here nor there.)

In any case, the weather cooperated and I finished it yesterday, at long last.

And I liked it! Enjoyed it, even, despite its flaws. Last of the Talons is far from a perfect book; it’s formulaic, in a way, so much so that I predicted how the story would go about midway through. It’s a simple tale about a female assassin who steals and destroys something precious (a diamond-studded tapestry) from the temple belonging to an immortal emperor called the Pied Piper. As punishment, she is spirited away to his realm and tasked with killing him…. by him. If she fails, he will kill her.

First of all, I have to say I’m not a huge fan of the abduction premise, and that’s a reason I didn’t feel compelled to continue at the beginning. I don’t dislike it because it’s morally wrong or anything, I dislike it because I find this premise stale and not suspenseful, having seen it play out so many times (ACoTAR was the last offender, and I was bored out of my mind). But I went back to it yesterday because Library Due Date Guilt ™ was tearing me apart. And you know what? I enjoyed myself, finishing it in a couple of hours.

Let’s talk about what I did like:

The Emperor/Pied Piper, AKA Rui. He wasn’t gruff, or grumpy… which I must give him kudos for, because your girl is so deathly tired of that archetype. And he was actually a real sweetheart, though, yes, I did have some issues with him that I’ll address later on.

The scene of Rui and Lina (heroine) at the river. Like, damn. That was good. The mind games had me sweating a tiny bit.

Kang, the advisor under Rui. Now THIS man is the real sweetheart. He was unendingly patient and kind to Lina even though she fucked his kingdom and people over so many times. I don't know what kind of saint he was.

This is obviously Korean-inspired. I liked that a lot. The descriptions of the food, the hanboks, the mythology, and the Korean vocabulary / names were most welcome. I just like Asian culture, so fucking sue me, lol.

I liked how the book’s title came into play at the denouement of the story.

The plot is simple, but easy to follow and quite engaging once you get in the midst of it. I sense there’s something bigger at play regarding the other humans that were spirited away into the immortal realm, but it isn’t revealed yet, so I have questions. That'll be for the sequel.

The story behind the tapestry was really sweet. And sad.

Now. What I didn’t like. (Nothing major/egregious, but still.) One of the points, Rui actually does a great job addressing, albeit unwittingly, lol:

Lina: “I’ve been told I’m quite the assassin.” Rui: “I was told that as well and I have to admit so far I’m disappointed. I was expecting something more.”

Yeah, Rui. Me too.

The problem with Lina is that she thinks with her heart, not her head. I won't be going explicitly into spoilers (though it’s really so OBVIOUS when you read it), but she chooses a route that she thinks will help her kill the emperor even though it is so FUCKING DUBIOUS. Of course it bites her in the ass later on. A lot of things do—because... she just isn't the brightest bulb out there. (Regardless, I gotta give her props for being so relentless about her mission. I can think of so many heroines that wander off-track in other books, resulting in a meandering plot.)

More cons I was not a fan of:

Insta-love. I mean, it's not like they confess their affections right away (they take a while to get there) but it's clear Rui already likes her early on, maybe even at the beginning of the story. I do not like insta-love. It kills the stakes because I didn't feel like Lina was ever genuinely in any danger with him, and I should, given that's supposed to be part of the main premise. I wanted a good slow-burn, which should also apply to attraction—it does not apply to: oh! Well, they'll get together late into the story but feel some attraction early on. Nuh-uh. Tbf, though, the insta-attraction is more from Rui than Lina.

This leads me to another tangent. Rui was still grieving the loss of his old lover. His moving on to Lina was way too abrupt for me.

Lack of plot twists. I mean, there's supposed to be one, I guess, but it's so obvious where this story was headed to. I'd say one of the best fantasy plot twists that really bowled me over was from Torch Against the Night by Sabaa Tahir earlier this year. Till now, I don't think I've read a plot twist of that magnitude from any other fantasy book. Tbf, I also saw through The Stolen Heir's plot twist, so this is not a major complaint or anything. A story is more than its twists—the fact that I still thoroughly, vastly prefer The Stolen Heir to Torch Against the Night is evidence.

All in all, a solid YA debut, albeit slightly forgettable. I had a good time reading it, and I'll be reading the next instalment coming out next year in April.

I just hope I remember to do so.

- 13 Aug 2023

#book review #booktok #last of the talons #sophie kim #fantasy books

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theprettyarachnid · 2 years

Note

If you have time, can you do head canons of the Arcane Characters that have a chubby and insecure S/O please! I really love your writings!

a/n: of course and thank you :) <3 <3 <3

i need to stop writing in the middle of the night but its also the only time i can get shit done on the blog

warnings: none

characters: jinx, vi, caitlyn, ekko, viktor, jayce, silco, vander

Jinx

🕷 I feel like Jinx goes for people who are on the bigger side, whether that's with height or weight, so she thinks your chubbiness is one of your best features

🕷 besides like personality

🕷 Because Jinx loves that about you, she kind of just automatically assumes you do too

🕷 So when she finds out that you don't feel the same way/are insecure about it, she'll just probably just ask you why

🕷 Jinx deals with her own insecurities so she won't give you the whole 'well don't think about yourself that way' pep talk because she knows it can be invalidating at times

🕷 So instead she just listens, she may interrupt you at times to tell you that she doesn't see your so-called flaws at all but for the most part she tries to stay quiet while playing with your hair or hands

🕷 Since she's more aware of your insecurities now, everytime she notices you looking self-conscious she will distract you by either jumping up behind you and hugging/kissing you or suggesting to do something fun

🕷 Vi has a pretty good read on people most of the time, so she knows most of your insecurities (including this one) already

🕷 Not to say she won't hear out your point of view but whenever she does, she has this look on her face that pretty tells exactly what she's thinking

🕷 It's the 'babe you're being ridiculous' look

🕷 Whenever she hears you ridicule yourself about your chubbiness, she will not hear you out

🕷 Vi will pick you up bridal style and give you something in between of a smile and a smirk

🕷 "okay? that's not stopping me from picking you up"

Caitlyn

🕷 gets offended on your behalf

🕷 I can see Caitlyn getting upset whenever she sees that you're insecure mainly because she just wants you to see yourself the way she sees you

🕷 She's kind of a fashion icon so she will buy you clothes that fit you well and are comfortable if she thinks it'll make you feel better/more confident

🕷 Other than that she really just tries to assure you that she loves everything about you including your insecurities

Ekko

🕷 You cannot tell me that Ekko wouldn't be your number 1 hype man as a boyfriend

🕷 This goes for like anything but especially about your insecurities

🕷 Anytime you wear something that compliments you, he's right there next to you telling you how nice you look

🕷 Similar to Jinx, he will listen to you rant about them while he just quietly listens

🕷 If he sees you start to cry while talking about it, this poor boy goes into an absolute panic trying to make you feel better

🕷 Will just pull you into a hug, letting you lean into his chest while he quietly hushes you

🕷 When you start to feel a little bit better, he will tell you all the gossip/rumors he heard throughout the day

Viktor

🕷 I can imagine Viktor being one of the best people in the bunch when it comes to helping with insecurities just because he's had to deal with a lot of his own while dealing with Piltover bullshit all at the same time

🕷 If you two are out and someone makes a comment while passing by, he'll actually get really pissed off and say something about it

🕷 When he sees you being extra critical, he will just come up behind you and rest his chin on your shoulder kissing either your cheek or neck

🕷 Viktor knows that talking about it doesn't always make you feel better, so he doesn't push it

🕷 Sometimes he will either quietly listen while gently stroking your hand or will leave featherlight kisses starting up your wrist while you talk it out

Jayce

🕷 Is literally obsessed with you and doesn't care what anyone else thinks

🕷 If you're being a smartass about something, he'll caress your face and gently squeeze your cheeks before kissing you

🕷 Likes to pick you up whenever you two hug so you're eye level

🕷 If you ever ask him if you're too heavy or etc, Jayce just kind of gives you a look of 'no?? where did that come from?'

🕷 i love jayce just as much as any other dumb bitch but i feel like in some scenarios if you don't tell him exactly whats bothering you, he won't pick up the hint

🕷 It won't be until he's talking to Caitlyn about how you're shrugging off his usual affections where it kind of just hits him

🕷 feels like such an idiot

🕷 The second he comes home, he'll just pull you into a hug and apologize

🕷 he will make you talk about it sorry

🕷 Will reassure you that he loves you regardless of how you look and will tell you that he really likes your chubbiness

Silco

🕷 Someone's getting fucking clipped when he finds out you're feeling insecure

🕷 Silco considers it a possibility that you may be feeling this way unprovoked but he's taking 'precautions'

🕷 Anyone that you've mentioned giving you an attitude in the past month becomes some botched experiment

🕷 obviously this is in the scenario where you tell him that it wasn't a big deal

🕷 If it is you just feeling extra self-conscious, he makes a mental note not to tell you anything about said people

🕷 Silco will pull your head into his chest and says that you're being ridiculous

🕷 A part of him is scared he might've made you feel that way, no matter how many times you may tell him it wasn't something anyone did, so he will ask you why

🕷 If you just shrug your shoulders giving him a small 'i don't know' or 'im not sure', he won't particularly like that answer but if notices you getting quieter or more upset he won't say anything b/c the last thing he wants to do is make you cry

🕷 So instead, Silco will spoil you with new jewelry or new clothes that he thinks will look flattering on you

🕷 It's his way of telling you that he doesn't want you thinking that views your chubbiness the same way you do, he just can't say it in words because he doesn't want to screw it up by accident

Vander

🕷 Vander isn't exactly Ms. Skinny unlike his adoptive ex-brother

🕷 He can tell pretty much right away when you're feeling self-conscious so there isn't much of a point in hiding it

🕷 It would be closing time when Vander would offer you a drink and ask what's bothering you

🕷 He'll be upset that you feel and view yourself that way but it wouldn't be directed towards you of course

🕷 "hm.. well i can tell you no one comin 'ere is considered as Zaun's next athlete."

🕷 Whenever he sees you going into that self-conscious and critical thinking, he tries to gently nudge you in the opposite direction trying to make you understand that it isn't anything bad

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