#Oikawa angst

[noosayog]

004 logical

✧ wc: 2.5k

✧ warnings/content: oikawa toru x reader, no gendered pronouns used but lease lmk if I missed any! sfw, angst to fluff, another breaking up making up fic, long distance relationship

✧ GUTS masterlist, regular masterlist

divider from @/cafekitsune

“I don’t think this is working out.” 

When Oikawa hears those words, marred by phone static, he drops the remote from his left hand and his fork from his right. 

“Baby,” he says cautiously, disoriented. “It’s just a few more days.” 

There’s a moment of silence. Oikawa picks up the phone and presses it to his ear. 

“It’s not just that,” you say quietly. “How much longer are we going to do this – not seeing each other, missing calls, postponing flights? Even when we’re talking, we’re not fully focused on each other.” 

“That’s not true,” he immediately protests. 

“Yes, it is. Were you not just watching a game and eating right before this?” 

“That doesn’t mean I’m not fully focused on you.” 

“Yes, Toru. It does.” 

He has so much to say, yet none of it seems to come out. Nothing seems appropriate. 

You sigh again. “Just… stay, Toru. Stay there. You don’t have to fly back to Japan for me. I know volleyball’s important for you.” 

When he says nothing, you go on. “But I hate the way this makes me feel. Like I’m asking you to give up what you love to fly across the globe just to see me for a few days.”

“You’re not. I want to-” 

“Toru.” 

His mouth clamps shut. 

“Last time you came back to Japan, you missed a last-minute practice match with that coach you’ve been wanting to work with. Last time I came to you, I spent 2 of the 4 days I was there alone because you had another last minute volleyball thing. Even when we invest the time to see each other, we’re not really… there.” 

Oikawa knows; he knows. 

“So let’s just… not.” 

He knows, but that doesn’t mean he wants to… not. 

“Just hold on a couple more days, okay?” he asks, trying his hardest not to beg and whimper. “Just a couple of days, and I’ll be back in Japan and we can talk, figure something out.” 

“Toru…” 

“Please, wait for me.” 

“I don’t know if I have that in me anymore.” 

The coldness of your words seize his chest. 

Hearing nothing more from him, you sign off with finality, “Good bye, Toru.”

And the line cuts off. 

–

Today is Friday, the beginning of the 3-day long exchange scrimmages with the visiting Brazilian and Chilean pro teams. Duffle bag tossed on the floor by his feet, Oikawa flops on the couch, downing the remainder of his protein shake. The bright screen of his laptop stares back at him, email confirmation of his flight change there to reprimand him, remind him. 

Your Flight AE344 to Haneda International Airport for Thursday, February 8th has been canceled. 

You’re booked for Flight AE267 to Haneda International Airport for Monday, February 12th! See you soon! 

After you had hung up, he gave you a call back. You didn’t answer. He tried again an hour later, then 2, then 12. He had listened to the line ring, for exactly 20 seconds, 8 rings, before banishing him to your unset-up voicemail. 

Shutting the laptop screen, he picks up his duffle and is out the door. After all, if he didn’t show up to the scrimmage, what would this have all been for? 

–

Friday night arrives, and despite how tired he is, physically from all the exercise and mentally from all the socialization with the visiting players, you wander through his mind. He supposes this is hardly surprising, given you’ve always been his place of rest, regardless of the physical distance, sheer kilometers between the two of you. 

Almost afraid to look, he checks his phone and immense disappointment and an increasingly familiar emptiness fill his chest when he sees nothing from you. 

He tries your phone again. It rings, rings, and rings and there’s no reward, your voice waiting at the other end.

He showers, eats a quick dinner, and meal preps for Saturday’s scrimmage. Busying himself works momentarily, but at 9PM, his phone alarm goes off, reminding him that it’s time to call you. For the past year, his routine has been talking on the phone with you every night at 9PM. No matter where he is, at a bar with teammates, at dinner with friends, or late night practice, he always takes at least 10 minutes to talk to you. 

When the two of you first established this, the agreed upon time was 10PM for him, 10AM for you. The two of you used to compete to see who could call who first. The first night, you called the exact second the clock struck 10. So the next night, Oikawa called at 9:59. Then the following night, you called at 9:58. And it went on until the two of you begrudgingly came to a truce that you’d alternate nights. 

And tonight is your night. 

Five minutes after 9, Oikawa knows the call isn’t coming. 

–

Late Friday night – or technically early Saturday morning – Oikawa lays awake in bed wondering how the hell it all went down the way it did. It hasn’t even been a full year since the two of you started to do long-distance. And he’s still confused. He’s confused because he thought the two of you were doing the best you could be. He’s confused because he’s never even thought about the possibility of not being with you. 

He twists over to lay on his side, facing his phone screen, open at your contact. His thumbs hover over your name for the nth time that night, only for him to flop back on his back, turning now to the other side, your side. It hits him then that he can’t even remember the feeling of you in that bed, the last time you kissed. If he had known that would be the last time, he would've savored it all the more. He’d burn the memory into his nerves, just so he could remember the feeling. Volleyball was all muscle memory; he never thought he’d need to commit you as well. 

Before he knows it, morning arrives. He starts to get ready. 

He brushes his teeth, packs his gym bag, and starts to eat breakfast. 

His legs shake, knees bouncing up and down in a nervous tick that hasn’t shown itself since high school. His laptop screen is up again, the flight ticket once again flashing bright. 

It’s a reminder. Now he knows that when it’s not reciprocal, the distance between the two of you is so much more than 18,000 kilometers and 12 hours. There’s no phone line, no facetime to shorten that distance, even if just by perception. 

Then, it’s a striking thought: a realization that postponing a plane ride those few days could cost him a lifetime.

He dials your number again. 

It rings, and rings, and rings. 

“... Hello?” 

“You picked up,” he hears himself say. 

“Sorry I missed yesterday, Toru.” He knows what you’re referring to without you saying it. “And I’m sorry I hung up… like that.” 

There’s a lot to say, but he can’t do it like this. So he asks, “will you wait for me to come home?” 

“Toru…” your voice breaks with the syllables of his name. He hears the reluctance in your tone. 

“If you want to break up, if you truly want to stop being with me,” it takes monumental effort for Oikawa to even speak of such an event. “Then say it to me in person. I have to know.” 

You’re silent in response. He’s glad you aren’t refusing, saying that the flight, the cost, the time isn’t worth itt. He’s glad that you agree it’s still a worthwhile conversation to have in person. He’s glad you haven’t given up. 

“Wait for me, okay? Please.” 

It takes a few simple clicks and a significant chunk of his savings to do what he does next. 

– 

For the entirety of the flight to Haneda International, Oikawa’s knees bounce, colliding uncomfortably with the seat in front of him. Even with what little affirmation you gave him by simply picking up his call, it brings him little comfort as there’s absolutely nothing he could do for the next 28 hours but sit tight. 

When the plane lands safely in Tokyo, local time of 9PM Sunday, Oikawa charms his way into getting off the plane first. He flashes a weak smile at all the people still in their seats of the plane, before rushing off with only his carry-on in tow. There’s no time to wait for a bus, so he shoves his way to the front of the taxi line, reciting your address as if it hadn’t been over 4 months since he’s been there. 

Every passing moment does little to ease his nerves, exacerbated even up until the moment he arrives at your door. The seconds pass in loud silence, the hollow sound of his knocking ringing in his ears. 

All the white noise fades, though, when the door opens and reveals you. No matter that your eyes are red and swollen, no matter that you’re wearing one of his old ratty Seijoh sweaters, no matter that the two of you are supposed to be breaking up.

“Toru,” you breathe. Oikawa forgets you’re supposed to sound like this, not the distorted, muffled imitation of your voice he hears through the phone too often. Yet another addition to his growing list of realizations. 

“What are you doing here?” 

He doesn’t know where it comes from, but a single heave of a laughter bursts from his chest. “I told you I wanted to see you, didn’t I?” 

“But… your flight wasn’t supposed to arrive until Wednesday.” You’re cautious and he hates that. He wants you to be uncaring of the emotions you show around him, to jump into his arms and forgive him. He wants it back. 

“I changed my flight.” 

“But volleyball…” 

“That’s the thing,” he starts. “I think that’s probably one of the things I never made clear to you.” 

You look at him, confused. 

“Can I come in?” 

It stings when you instinctively fold your arms over your chest protectively, eyes briefly leaving him to look at the ground. 

 “Will you let me in?” he tries again. 

You look back up at him, moving to the side to let him in. 

When the door clicks shut behind him, the first thing Oikawa does is wrap you up in his embrace. His arms engulf you. He forces his hold to be gentle, on the chance that you push away. You don’t, so he holds on tighter and tighter, until you squeak from the pressure. He thinks he mumbles an apology, but he’s not really sure because all he registers is your arms coming up to grab his sweater. 

It’s not enough. 

You let him just hold you, for how long, he doesn’t know, until you finally squeak out his name. He reluctantly pulls away and starts talking, as if he wants to get the talking part over as fast as possible so he can pull you right back in again. 

“The thing I wanted to tell you,” he continues from before. “There’s no comparison – between you and volleyball, I mean.” 

“Toru, you know that’s not true.” 

Yes, it is,” he insists. “I’ve never seen volleyball as something that takes away from time that belongs to you. Every time you come to see me, or I go to see you, or when I push a flight, I’ve always seen that as just a… postponement of our time together, never that it would take away from it.” 

“Toru…” you push further away. 

“But, I think I get it now. I get that phone calls, video calls, text messages can’t be a substitute. I know because I almost forgot how your voice sounds outside of a phone and because I can’t accept us breaking up through a screen. And even more so because I can’t live off of the memory of how you feel.” 

When your gaze softens, he knows he got it right. It only took all this time for him to understand what you meant when you said things weren’t working; it was never about a postponed flight. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get it.” 

Your palm comes up to cup his face. Your thumb brushes a wet spot on his cheek. “Oh, Toru. I would never make you compare, I thought you knew that.” 

“I know,” he says. I know. And he does. 

“Sometimes, I just need to know you miss me as much as I miss you. I know you love volleyball,” 

“I love you,” he interrupts. 

“I know you love volleyball,” you continue. “And I would never want you to feel like you had to give any of it up for me. I just need to know that you feel what I feel too.” 

His hands at your waist squeeze, like he’s reassuring you that he does. 

“I know that you won’t be playing in Argentina forever. I was prepared to deal with long-distance for as long as it takes for you to be ready to come home. But-” 

He shakes his head like he doesn’t need you to say it. 

“No, let me say this. But, sometimes it felt like you were settling for how we were. Then… when you postponed the flight, I guess I was just bummed because I was so excited to see you. But you acted like it wasn’t a big deal.” 

Yeah, he did, didn’t he. 

“It felt like you would be just fine substituting me for the sport.” 

“Yeah,” he agrees. 

There’s so much to explain and he’s afraid it would take too long. He needs to tell you that’s not how he feels and that it’s not true at all. And perhaps he’s become self-aware of his ability to grow numb to things like homesickness and he tried to apply that to you too so that he wouldn’t be crippled by the sheer magnitude of how much he truly missed – misses – you. And how appalled he was when he realized he was associating you with memories and nostalgia, as if you were a had-been and not a still-is. 

But you seem to understand because your hands are still gentle on his face and your gaze is affectionate. 

“Stop crying, you baby.” 

“I’m not crying!” he denies. 

“If you don’t stop crying, I won’t kiss you,” you tease. 

He clams up, biting on his lips to stop the hiccups. His eyes roll upwards to the ceiling, willing any tears to stop overflowing. 

You laugh lightly at the sight, voice still clearly weak from your crying marathon. 

He has a lot to apologize for, doesn’t he.

You lean upwards for a kiss. It catches him off guard to this day, how much you can express in your gentle affection. It’s another thing he can’t feel through a screen. 

With each kiss you press on his lips, he counts the things he has to apologize for, but more importantly he counts the things he needs to tell you he misses and loves about you when he inevitably puts the 18,000 kilometers between the two of you again. 

And he’ll do it. Every day. Until the day he finally comes home.

#noos writes #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #hq x reader #hq fluff #hq x y/n #hq imagines #hq angst #oikawa toru #oikawa fluff #oikawa angst #oikawa x y/n #oikawa tōru #oikawa toru x y/n #oikawa toru x you #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa toru angst #oikawa toru fluff

[rishiguro]

HAIKYUU CHARACTERS AND HOW THEY BREAK YOUR HEART

ft. oikawa; sugawara; atsumu; ushijima; kita

OIKAWA TOORU: makes time for everyone but you

you tried to ignore the sting in your heart, tossing your phone on the mattress. at this point you were setting yourself up for the hurt and yet you couldn’t stop yourself from watching his stories. and he was always out and about, meeting various people — friends, colleagues, family, coworkers, anybody. just not you. you were always left behind, barely seeing your boyfriend, only getting a few texts. you knew he had a lot on his plate but would it kill him to spend some time with you, or just acknowledge your existence? you sighed. surely he was just busy, right?

SUGAWARA KOUSHI: forgets about his promises

“i’m so sorry,” he immediately said as soon as he saw you all dressed up, “i forgot” you pressed your lips into a thin line, nodding slowly. “i figured. i’m going to take a shower” before he could say anything you rushed past your boyfriend, shutting the bathroom door behind you before stepping to the sink, washing your flushed face as the tears started to fall. you shouldn’t even be surprised — and honestly you weren’t really — but you were disappointed. he didn’t mean to forget, at least that’s what you had been telling yourself. but there was only so much you could take and slowly but surely you reached your breaking point.

MIYA ATSUMU: always puts his work before you

you shook your head as you put your phone away, politely asking the waiter for your check. by now you were basically used to the pitiful glances and hushed whispers behind your back, so you skillfully ignored them when leaving the restaurant. with every step you took towards your car, you could feel the cold creeping up on you as your heart grew heavier and heavier. you knew what you were getting yourself into when you decided to get together with him, but it didn’t hurt any less when he stood you up — when practice ran longer than expected, when he decided to get some extra training or when he was too exhausted to even send you a message.

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: always confuses you with somebody else

“i got you your favorite” he held up a take out bag with a warm smile on his face. “thank you,” you said with your most convincing smile on your face, which immediately dropped as soon as he left your field of view. as soon as you recognized the logo on the plastic you felt your heart ache. you wanted to give him credit, he was trying, he really was, but you couldn’t help but feel hurt — whatever he got, it was never what he thought it was. his friend’s favorite snacks that you didn’t like, his best friend’s favorite movie that brought back bad memories or his ex partner’s favorite food.

KITA SHINSUKE: uses your insecurities against you

with hurt visible in your eyes, you turned around, quickly making your way into your bedroom. “you can’t just simply walk away when things aren’t going your way—,” you heard him shout behind you before you slammed the door and as soon as you were alone, the tears began to fall. you loved him and you were convinced that he loved you too. he even told you so daily and made you feel like the most important person in your life. and he failed to realize that you weren’t him — he couldn’t see how his bluntness hurt you or how his supposed honesty only broke you. how much more could you take before you completely shattered?

reblogs are appreciated

#₊❏❜ ⋮haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x you #haikyuu imagines #hq x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu angst #hq angst #hq x you #oikawa x reader #sugawara x reader #atsumu x reader #ushijima x reader #kita x reader #oikawa angst #sugawara angst #atsumu angst #ushijima angst #kita angst #hq headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagine #hq scenarios #haikyuu!! #haikyuu

[tvhsleb3ww]

the best trope for oikawa tooru is exes to lovers bc imagine him breaking up w you back in hs bc he wants to go abroad and he needs to focus on his career more than you. he just had to put his ego first before anything else which— led him to saying something wrong "you're just not my priority, alright?" was what he muttered and it was what ended the relationship.

though he felt like it was good to confess it, he's sure he didn't mean it. not when everything reminds him of you back in his small apartment in argentina. the instant noodle packet— it reminded him of when you used to laugh at him bc he couldn't handle the spiciness only to stop him after that bc you're worried abt his health. his white setter quotes shirt— that you used to always wear and he'd whine bc that's his favourite shirt but he didn't mind at all. what sucks most is that it still had your scent.

he cursed under his breath, a sigh escapes his lips before he rubbed his temples. he swears— he swears that he doesn't miss you. it was his decision to end the relationship, it was his move, it was him who became the asshole.

yet why?— why is tears welling up in his eyes and he keeps his head up to avoid his tears escaping? his bottom lip quivers as he bites down on it— hard.

"fuck, i made a mistake"

he finally lets out.

#oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #haikyuu x reader

[chimielie]

oh my god, they were roommates

part 2 to and they were roommates. no cws, just silliness.

you're not talking to tooru.

he's not sure how you manage it so effectively. you eat all your meals in your room while he's home, except for when you manage to sneak from there to the door while he's in the bathroom. his only clue that you've gone out is that you leave your bedroom door open when you do, really hammering home how empty his life suddenly is.

"even when we're in the same room," he sighs, resting his cheek on his fist. "it's like trying to grab a fish out of the water. i turn around or blink and poof! gone!"

"your sleeve is dipping into your drink," says his date. "and i really think you need to discuss this with your roommate. at home. alone."

tooru waves goodbye forlornly as they stand up and walks out of the restaurant, leaving behind a half-eaten ball of rice and a broken man.

"you are like a sad, sad," akaashi says, pausing to really linger on the word sad, "wet cat. please stop bringing your dates here to mope about—to them. you are forming bad associations between our business and your terrible romantic etiquette."

akaashi keiji is a mangaka now, or an editor for one, anyway; he works at onigiri miya (tokyo location) on the side because it's the only way he routinely leaves the house; tooru brings his dating drama here to brighten up what must surely be a terribly boring life.

"what would you do without me, akaashi-kun," tooru stretches his arms high with a languid sigh that makes akaashi worry that he has comprehended none of his words. "wouldn't you be so miserable if you didn't have me to bring romance and excitement to your life?"

"i have a boyfriend of several years," akaashi says, which is rude to remind tooru of while he's in such a vulnerable state. "i have plenty of excitement with him in my life."

"inconsiderate!" tooru snorts. "please break up with him to show me solidarity."

"i will not be doing that." akaashi picks up the nameless and now-vanished date's plate and takes a bite out of the leftover food.

"understandable," tooru nods, "that's very reasonable. i just don't know what to do, or how to fix it, or what i did wrong."

"you come in here every other night to whine about what you did wrong."

"do not."

"do too," akaashi sticks out his tongue at him. there's a grain of rice stuck to his lip. "you spent several months going out on dates trying to make your friend-turned roommate jealous—during which, I'll note, you basically exclusively talked about the person you were and continue to be obsessed with—then initiated... romantic physical contact, then ran away. because you have the attachment style of a stray cat."

"ah, akaashi-kun," tooru says. "are you saying i get around?"

"i am saying you are lurking outside the window and begging for attention and then biting the hand that feeds you when you get it.”

“oh.” tooru is quiet for a moment. “can i get the check?”

“it’s on the house if you’ll just go home and talk to your roommate and never come back here with another date.” akaashi says, finishing off the onigiri.

“deal.”

your room is empty, your bedroom door ajar when he comes home. mournfully, tooru sits on the bed, reminiscing over the hours he'd spent gossiping with you here.

he'll just wait for you to get back. when he used to take you dancing—with your other friends, but you'd wind your arms around his neck and he'd run light hands over your waist, your hips, and you would look at him like no one else even existed—you always wanted to leave before midnight. it's ten-forty-nine now, according to his watch, so he's sure you'll be back before long.

you get home at two-oh-four. you had never seen the point in staying out longer when going home and chatting over a bowl of cheesy noodles with tooru was so much more appealing—you didn't want to dance with anyone else anyway. now, though, you don't want to be home, and you have something to prove. to who, you're not sure, but you find yourself staying out later and later.

even though you always return home alone. you'd thought about really upping the ante, about moving on as abruptly as possible, but you couldn't. it felt like going too far in this petty revenge game. after all, you still—

you stop short, dropping your shoes on the floor. the devil is in your bed, lying on his side, knees tucked to his chest to fit his absurdly long frame. his breaths are even and deep, his face peaceful.

"oh, tooru," you sigh, and climb over him to tuck yourself against his warm side.

you blink your eyes open slowly, sleep still gleaming in the corners of your vision. there's a weight on your hip and something that smells really, really good surrounding you, nearly lulling you back to sleep.

"oh, please don't," says a voice you haven't heard in days. "my arm's circulation has been completely cut off. i may never serve again."

you jolt away from the soft source of warmth, which you realize belatedly is oikawa's chest.

"what happened?" you say, swiping at your face with the back of your hand.

he looks frustratingly perfect as always, brown hair rumpled, eyes soft like you aren't in the biggest spat of your friendship.

"i was waiting for you," he admits, leaning on his side and casting his eyes down, his lashes shadowing his high cheekbones. "because i wanted to apologize, to be clear. i must have fallen asleep, and then i woke up, and it was like—"

"yes," you cough. "i see. um."

"i'm sorry," he says. "hey, look at me. i'm really sorry."

"for what, oikawa?" you laugh nervously.

"for being stupid," he rolls one shoulder in a shrugging motion. "for trying to make you jealous and instead just being, like, a complete fucking clown during all of it."

"make me jealous?" you say, blinking at him.

"please don't look at me like that," he says, scrubbing over his face with the hand that's not propping up his head. "it-you make me nervous."

"we've been friends for years," you say, still apparently lost. "how can i make you nervous?"

"you always will," he laughs, but it's strained. "look—i like you. probably more, but i'm trying not to scare you—any more than i already have, i mean. i'm not sorry for kissing you, is what i mean. i should just—i should probably go."

"wait," you say firmly before he can untangle himself from your sheets. putting a hand on his shoulder and pushing yourself up to meet his lips, which are soft and dry and parted slightly with surprise.

the kiss is warm and lingers, even after you pull away. tooru stares at you with dazed eyes that make you shy, dropping your own. his voice is quiet but hopeful, contrasting his words in tone when he speaks.

"what the fuck?"

#haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #hq!! x reader #oikawa x reader angst #oikawa angst #oikawa fluff #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa x reader fluff #oikawa tōru x reader

[strwbrryeyes]

𖦹°｡⋆ haikyuu boys as my breakup playlist

⟡ featuring: suna, oikawa, tsukishima, atsumu

⟡ cw: angst, idk still bad at these

⟡ an: i found my old breakup playlist from three years ago and took inspiration from that so these songs are old lol. writing this was silly because im in a loving relationship but it was like i felt all the pain of a breakup again </3

⟡ part two, part three

⟡ suna rintarou: you broke me first - tate mcrae

suna would be the one to break things off with you. when you first started dating he genuinely thought he loved you but as time went on and he became more distant, you started to feel like he was losing feelings for you so you asked him about it. in his words, "i think you were just the first girl to give me attention after my last relationship" and "im not ready for a relationship". a week later, he starts talking about all the girls that have come to him after the breakup and started talking about his hookups to you. this bothered you and hurt you deeply so you decided to cut things off with him completely and he was not a fan of this. so he tried everything to try to get you to talk to him again saying that he misses you and that he wants to get back together. you couldn't care less though, he's already broken your heart too many times for you not to notice his pattern of wanting your attention just to make you jealous or upset. in the end, it actually did end up hurting him and made him realize what he lost. he knew he fucked up but there's no going back anymore.

⟡ oikawa tooru: over breakfast - ellise

it's been a few months since oikawa left for argentina. it's been hard for the both of to be apart for so long and in completely different timezones. you could feel the connection fading but neither of you wanted to admit it because you both loved each other so much. but the longer you guys try to keep the relationship afloat, the more frequent you end up arguing over text or facetime. but you both decided that it could be something to figure out when oikawa visits for the holidays. well, the holidays come around and you finally have time to see each other and talk in person. from the moment oikawa entered your apartment, you both knew it was over. you could tell so many things have changed over the course of the last few months but instead of facing it, you just decide to spend one more night together just to have one final time to say that you tried. it was bittersweet and it hurt a lot but you didn't want the night to end. maybe you could fix this over night? in the morning everything will be better and you can set aside your differences! unfortunately, that morning, nothing had changed and you and oikawa finally came to terms with the fact that maybe you two just maybe weren't meant to be.

⟡ tsukishima kei: high definition - waterparks

when tsukishima was still part of the sendai frogs, he traveled a lot. it's not like he was off in another country like some of his old teammates and rivals, no, you lived with him. even though you two had been dating for quite some time by this point, tsukishima still had trouble expressing his love for you. he tended to push you away whenever he was stressed even though the one thing he wanted the most was your comfort and loving. he was just worried he would end up snapping at you and making you hate him. he didn't know that you'd end up upset with him regardless. you loved him so much but you don't know how long you could going on like this. i mean come on! tsukishima was always away for volleyball matches and even when he's home...it's like he's still not even there. tsukishima knew that you were starting to slip away from him so one day he sat you down and explained how he was feeling and it was finally then that you understood why he acted the way he did. you tried protesting his decision to break up with you but he kept insisting it was for the better. by the next week tsukishima had moved out leaving you alone in the once shared apartment, wishing and hoping he'd come back one day.

⟡ miya atsumu: better off - ariana grande

everyone knew that atsumu could be hot headed most of the time when it came to volleyball but what they didn't know is that it would sometimes affect your relationship with him. much like tsukishima, he would close himself off from you whenever he was mad at the world or whatever else there is that could make him upset. it was starting to get tiring for you. you felt like you had to walk on egg shells around him just so he wouldn't snap at you (wether he meant to or not- his mind would always fog up). towards the end of your relationship, you could feel yourself start to get numb in regards to your feelings towards atsumu. atsumu couldn't really tell at this point that you were losing hope for the relationship. if anything he thought everything was normal but that was only because half of the time he was too much into his own thoughts to notice any flaws between the two of you. it wasn't until he came home one day after an away game on the other side of japan and found that all of your stuff was gone along with you, that he realized nothing is what it used to be. he found a note from you that explained that you weren't happy in the relationship anymore and that you felt trapped. you also stated that you hope he figures out his issues and that you'll always be there for him if he needs but that right now you just needed space. atsumu spent that night crying and angry at himself for letting your relationship get to this point.

#𖦹°｡⋆ 𝓃𝒾𝓃𝒾 #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader angst #haikyuu angst #suna rintarou x reader #suna rintarou angst #suna x reader #suna angst #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa tooru angst #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima angst #tsukishima kei angst #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu miya angst #atsumu angst

[mavrintarou]

[4:38 PM] Oikawa Toru [7]

Posting this before I go on vacation. I hope you all enjoy this chapter... it threw me off as the writer.

Warning: this chapter is pure explicit smut - that's all I have to say. It makes up for the other chapters without any spice. Enjoy and hold on...

Sixth part Eighth part

. Y/n woke up in an unfamiliar room before her memories jogged back in time, reminding her that she was currently in Toru’s room.

And on his bed.

And in his arms.

She maneuvered around until she was facing him and wrapped an arm around his lower back.

Last night after he made her cum with his fingers, all she could remember was that they somehow made it to his bed.

Toru’s mouth moved hungrily against hers in a never-before way. He desired and hungered for her.

His fingers tugged her blouse from underneath her skirt and began to undo the buttons.

Y/n’s fingers were eagerly pulling at the belt buckle and his button.

He hissed when she slipped her hand inside his boxer briefs and wrapped her hand around his cock. “Fuck…” he growled, rutting against her fist. His fingers quickly unfasten the rest of her buttons, cursing at the small things. He reached his hand behind her back to feel her bra claps and undid them in one motion.

Y/n flips him onto his back as she rolls on top, straddling his crotch. She shrugs out of her blouse and bra, tossing them at the end of the bed before undoing the zipper to her skirt.

Toru was speechless, Y/n stripping before him, gorgeous and goddess-like. He reached for her breasts, palming them before rubbing her pucker nipples and tweaking them.

“Wait, let me take off my pants.” Y/n shifted off of him as he quickly shredded his clothes. He smirked when her eyes were on his cock that she was just fisting moments ago. “I’m so hard for you, Y/n.” His eyes widen when her face moves closer and she pressed a kiss to the tip of his cock.

Toru’s cock twitched when her lashes fluttered upwards at him, giving him a mischievous look. He was at her mercy. To tease him further, she licked the tip and swirled her tongue, licking off the pre-cum leaking. His head rolled back and a low groan rumbled from the back of his throat as she took him inside her mouth. “Fuck, Y/n…”

His fingers thread through her hair as he guides her bobbing on his cock. He nearly came when he hit the back of her throat. “Y/n… stop… if you don’t want me to cum in your mouth…”

She released him with a pop, a string of saliva bridged from his cock to her lips. “You don’t want to?”

“I’ll never say no, but I don’t want to nut so fast.” He wiped his thumb across her lower lip. “And I’m barely holding on… your fucken mouth feels wonderful but I rather stuff my cock elsewhere.” Something clicked in his head and he pulled away, reaching to open his nightstand drawers and groaned in disappointment. “Fuck, I don’t have any condoms.”

He hadn’t needed them for a while, so he didn’t have any on hand.

Y/n chewed her lower lip. She didn’t have any either, Woojin always had them on him.

Toru kneeled in front of her with his head dropped in disappointment. He has not had any relationship with anyone else other than Mateo’s mother. He was too embarrassed to admit it but he was still scarred with risking an unplanned pregnancy.

No matter how bad and how much he wanted Y/n…

“I can go get some!” his head snapped up, eyes wide and voice filled with excitement.

Y/n looked at the time, it was past midnight. She shook her head with a soft smile, “it’s okay Toru, we can pleasure each other in different ways?”

He stared at her, “what are you comfortable with?”

She was silent for a few seconds before answering, “are you comfortable with rubbing?”

“Y – yes?” his voice croaked.

She pushed him onto his back and crawled onto him. She lowered herself and pressed against his cock. They both let out a synchronized groan and moan. Y/n reached to thread her fingers with his as she rocked her hips.

Toru watched with hooded eyes, lost in their trance as his cock got massaged by her pussy lips. He never thought being rubbed in such a way could excite him very much. Every time the tip of his cock bumped into her clit, Y/n would moan and rock harder.

“Please,” he begged, catching her gaze. “Let… let me put just the tip in?”

Y/n contemplated for a second before saying, “I’m not on birth control, so you will have to make sure not to cum inside me for now.”

“I promise.” He rolled them over and widened her legs. It was his turn to rub his cock along her wet slippery slits before he pushed only an inch of his cock inside of her. He kept his words and rocked slowly.

Y/n moaned loudly before covering her mouth. “Toru,” she whispered repeatedly, “Toru, you feel so good… more…”

“No,” he choked, no matter how much he wanted to shove his cock inside of her and pound into her sweet and hot pussy, he shouldn’t. “Next time, I promise.”

Little did Y/n know that each time he thrust inside of her, he pushed just a little bit more inside her.

“Fuck… I’m going to cum,” he announced and withdrew to fist his cock fast. His cum ejaculated over her pussy like icing on a cake. A large glob landed right on her clit.

Toru dipped his head and began cleaning her. He suckled hard on her clit until she squirmed underneath him, tugging at his hair.

Y/n choked on her moan, biting her lower lip to remain quiet.

His tongue lapped lazily against her trembling pussy, watching her catch her breath from the aftermath orgasm. A finger slipped inside her pussy as he slowly teased her tender walls.

“Toru,” her tone came out whimpering instead of a warning. “I – I can’t…”

“Yes, you can, you can for me. Come for me again Y/n.” He slipped a second finger inside her pulsing heat and demanded another orgasm.

Toru finally opened his eyes and gazed down at Y/n, whose face was nestled into his chest. He had been awake for quite some time as she stirred and shifted in his arms before eventually waking up.

He thought he had dreamed of everything last night until Y/n was really in his arms, deep asleep.

Beneath the comforters, they were still naked from their activities from a few hours before. He made her cum two more times before they drifted into slumber within the comforting embrace of each other.

“Morning,” he murmured, he felt her flinch, probably not expecting him to be awake. He chuckled and kissed her forehead before her lips. He kissed her and kissed her, and kissed her until they were both breathless.

“Toru, you’re… hard…” She reached between them and wrapped her hand around his cock. “So hard…”

He hummed. Or groaned. “One more time, please?”

Y/n continued to tease him and lift her leg when she felt his fingers. Three fingers plunged into her already soaking pussy, thrusting painfully slow and deep.

“I don’t hear you saying… no?”

Y/n opened her mouth to answer when the sound from Mateo’s baby monitor interrupted.

“I swear my son has the worst timing…” Toru grumbled under his breath. He tightened his arm around her when she tried to leave his arms and bed. “No, he’ll be fine… he needs to have me-time anyways.” His fingers quickly worked in and out, making Y/n half moan and giggle, still trying to pry his arms open when he tightened his grip. “No, don’t leave me…” he begged like a child. He rolled them so she was trapped underneath him. He put his dead weight on her, burying his face in the valley of her breast before nipping at the pale skin that hadn’t yet been marked.  

“Toru – we should get up anyways.”

“No we don’t,” he swirled his tongue around her puckered nipple before sucking the whole nub hard. He switched to the other side, giving it the same attention, ready to cum against her as she wiggled and squirm beneath him. After feeling her give in, he released her very suckled nipple, satisfied with his work, and begged, “just five more minutes. I promise to make you cum in twice.”

And he did.

. .

Toru pushed the grocery cart behind Y/n, watching her look at two different items and comparing them to herself. Strapped in the baby carrier was Mateo, fast asleep.

Since experiencing firsthand just how soft and jiggly Y/n’s breasts are, he understood why Mateo loved to sleep on them.

The exact moment, Toru was jealous of his son, getting to nap comfortably against Y/n’s cushioned breast…

But Toru made himself feel better, telling himself that he got to suckle her nipples.

“Do I want to know why you have such a smug look on your face?”

Toru straightened up and cleared his throat, shifting his mind to think of something else and shifting his posture to hide the growing bulge inside his jeans. He was about to deny her accusation but instead took the bait. He rolled the car closer to her and stood behind her, to anyone else it looked like a happy couple just shopping, but to Y/n, she felt the tent poking her lower back.

Toru leaned down to whisper in her ear, “I was thinking about how jealous I am of my son sleeping against your chest… but,” his voice became lower, “I made myself better because I at least got to suck your tits.”

Y/n gasped, whipping around, a hand pressed protectively behind Mateo’s head. With her other hand, she smacked his arm. “You have no shame!”

The grin on his face only made Y/n fluster and turn into a deeper shade of red as she continued down the aisle without him.

. .

A kiss is pressed to the nape of her neck when Y/n looks upward at Toru. He leans down and drops a kiss on her lips.

Y/n’s fingers stop moving as she reaches to wrap her finger behind his neck, moaning into his mouth.

They were always kissing.

Constantly kissing.

Kissing here.

Kissing there.

Kissing everywhere.

She loved kissing Toru.

His kisses were addicting and she couldn’t get enough of it.

Toru pulled away and turned her around on the bench. He kneels in front of her and hooks his arms behind her knees and shifts her to the edge of the bench. “I’m hungry for you.”

He slips his hands beneath her flowy skirt and finds her panties, tugging them down her legs before he lifts her skirt and goes underneath it.

Her legs are shifted over his shoulders and her ankles are crossed behind his back as he drove in and devours her pussy.

“To – Toru…” Y/n falls backward, pressing down a handful of her piano keys. Her room echoed with a horrendous melody but she did not care.

Mateo was with his grandparents for the night, leaving Y/n and Toru alone to make all the noise they wanted.

His tongue slips and thrusts inside her pussy with his fingers, he slurped and groans as if it was the best meal he has ever had.

“Toru,” Y/n moaned and pleaded, “enough, I want you… I want you inside me.”

Toru slipped out from beneath her skirt and pulled her up onto her feet before throwing her over his shoulder. He spun around and brought her to his room, which was the closest. He set her down gently on the bed reached behind his back pocket and pulled out a flap of condoms he purchased earlier after he dropped Mateo off. He stood up and pulled his shirt off, dropping it by his feet before pulling down his joggers. His cock stood up proudly ready as he tore the package of the condom and rolled it in place.

“Wait,” Y/n quickly began taking off her clothes before scooting to the middle of his bed.

Toru crawled towards her and spread her knees apart.

Without wasting another second, he slowly guides his cock and thrusts fully.

Y/n’s moan echoes in his room, her hips tilting and back arching.

She wasn’t the only one who needed a second to embrace the euphoric instant.

Toru leaned down and hugged her, loving the feeling of her arms automatically wrapping around his neck. “Are you okay?”

Her eyes open and she nods her head, “wonderful.”

“Can I start moving?”

“Please.”

He started at a steady pace at first and gradually increased the speed and depth.

Toru drops his forehead against hers, “Y/n, I’ve been…. I’ve been dreaming of this moment and can’t tell if it’s real or not…”

Y/n presses her lips to his in a haste kiss before pressing his forehead to her cheek in an intimate gesture, “it’s real… so real Toru. You feel real… inside of me. I love it. I love how you feel inside my pussy.”

Toru lived for Y/n’s lewd mouth. The first time he heard lewd words come out of her mouth, he nearly came right there in then, in her mouth.

“Fuck my mouth, Toru,” Y/n begged with the head of his cock resting against her tongue. “Fuck my mouth like it’s my pussy.”

Toru remembered having to close his eyes for a few seconds before opening, them to make sure he wasn’t in a dream or that it was someone else kneeling before him.

“I love your filthy mouth,” he whispered, pressing kisses to her neck. “Your filthy mouth… tight pussy… can it all be mine?”

He moved faster and harder, making her scream. “Yes! Fuck, it’s all yours!”

Toru was not one to be possessive, but he needed Y/n. Need her heart, body, and soul.

His hands found her wrists and he brought them above her head, pinning them both down with one hand of his. Lifting his body, his other hand groped her breast, massaging the mound that fit perfectly in his palm.

He knew it was too early to think about it but at that exact moment, his mind wandered about how her breast would be when full of milk. How they would leak and how he would have a taste of it. How the perky dark pink nipple would pucker just for him to suckle. He loved the sound she would make when he suckled them hard and soft, how she would clench tightly around him when he would nip her bud.

Each day, Toru’s heart and mind races with the future. Their relationship was going so well, so beautiful, so beyond what he could ever imagine and he wanted to keep it safe. He wants nothing more than to seek a future with Y/n.

Every time he sees Y/n with Mateo, he can’t help but imagine what it would be like the day when they would have children together. Toru knows he’s getting ahead of himself and shouldn’t scare her off with his wild fantasy.

He releases his hold on her mound and watches them jiggle each time he thrusts into her.  

“Toru,” Y/n whimpered, “I’m going to cum… make me cum.”

The grip on her wrists loosened as Toru used both his hands to push her legs wider and higher, folding her in half. His cock reached deeper and he groans, feeling himself close to the finish line. He shifts his weight over her and began to pound hard into her sopping wet pussy that gushed each time he withdrew. He feels his heavy sacks slapping against Y/n with each thrust.

Her soft gummy walls tighten and she cums around his cock. Toru continues to thrust and caught up to her high, cumming hotly into the condom.

They gaze at each other, both trying to regain their breath. Toru gently shifts them onto their sides and they hold each other close.

He moistened his dry lips, “I know it sounds cliché, but I genuinely mean it…” he looked deeply into Y/n’s eyes, summoning the courage to confess, “I’m in love with you, Y/n.” Her eyes widen, his heart hanging in the balance. He has nothing left to lose but her, and he is determined not to lose her again. “I’m so fucken in love with you.”

. .

Y/n waited patiently for the doctor to return to her room to conclude her annual physical visit.

It has been a few weeks since she’s become sexually active with Toru. He makes sure to wear a condom every time but Y/n wanted to get on birth control for an extra precaution.

Toru wasn’t exactly on board with the thought of her taking pills for the sake of the chemicals going into her body but he respected her wishes. After all, she had a point.

They had sex almost every night, and a box of condoms could barely last them two days. Neither of them could keep their hands off each other once Mateo went down for the night.

Y/n giggled and shook her head when they were both caught up in the moment that it was the first time Toru had forgotten to put on a condom.

She had to go out of town for two nights and three days. It was unbearable but the moment she returned, a few hours earlier than promised, the first thing she did was hug her two favorite boys.

And the second they had alone time, their clothes were all over her living room floor.

His cock slipped inside her pussy and he grunted at the initial thrust. He nearly came at that moment feeling Y/n’s pussy again after two nights away from each other. He just wanted to stay buried deep inside of her.

Toru’s eyes shot open as realization hit him, “fuck! I forgot a condom.” He was about to withdraw when Y/n locked her legs around his waist. He winced, feeling her hot and soft velvet pussy walls clamp down on his raw cock. He let out a choke as he felt something shoot out, “wait – Y/n…”

“It’s okay – it’s my safe day, you can just pull out when you’re about to cum,” her tone was desperate as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He could never say no.

He would never say no.

“Fuck, you feel so good without a condom,” he groaned, fastening his hips. He pushed her knees deeper into the couch, wanting to feel deeper inside her. “You’re so wet… Goodness… Y/n, you’re going to be the death of me…”

The knock at the door pulled Y/n out of her memories as she prayed her face wasn’t as flushed as she hoped.

The doctor took a seat in her chair and sighed, making Y/n frown.

“I have a question,” she began, glancing down at the files. Her brows furrowed, as she grappled with her next words. “You’re interested in a prescription for birth control, but…” she hesitated, then added carefully, “are you aware that you’re pregnant?”

. . .

E/n: SAY WHAT!

@queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy @rukia-uchia-98 @anejuuuuoy @tooruchiiscribs @mommyourcall420 @haikyuubiggestsimp @lilguycoded @random-734 @ghostlyneckoaftoad @abcde12345 @shotenvinsoot @princess-sunshyn @anonymoussimper @junglewoos @basically-an-anime-stan-acct @mih311 @m1nt-3lla @qualitygiantshoepsychic

#haikyuu smut #haikyu x reader #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu oikawa toru #oikawa smut #oikawa fluff #oikawa angst #oikawa scenarios #oikawa toru smut #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x you #oikawa x reader

[cottonlemonade]

Making Up After A Fight

word count: 756 || avg. reading time: 3 mins.

pairing: post-time skip Oikawa x chubby!Reader

genre: angst with happy ending

warnings: none, just Oikawa being hard on himself and insecure

____________________________________________

Oikawa hates fighting as much as you do.

But sometimes it was inevitable. His training schedule had been crazy, the coach had scolded him for putting too much pressure on his bad knee and he was frustrated with himself for delivering, as he thought, disappointing performances on the court lately.

And unfortunately, you were the best girlfriend through all of this. Something he should be happy about, but like many times before it just made him realize that he didn't deserve you.

He couldn't give you the time he wanted. He wished more than anything that you would just tell him how disappointed you were in the relationship and in him, for not being good enough, there enough, doting enough - he hated it. He hated every second, because he knew that when he got to his phone at the end of training, a sweet and loving message would wait for him, saying that you missed him. You would have maybe sent a picture of something cute that reminded you of him during your day or suggested something to do together on his next day off. It was infuriating that you never blamed him for not being the boyfriend he should be.

So it came as no surprise that one night after practice, when he was over at your place, he snapped. He just arrived, took off his shoes and smelled the lovely home cooked meal that was simmering on the stove. You came to greet him, smiling tiredly but genuinely happy to see him and he couldn't take it anymore. He started yelling and gesturing, asking you why you even bothered with him, told you how you weren't right for him, that you made him feel like garbage, turned on his heels, grabbed his shoes and left.

You stood in the doorway of your kitchen, not knowing, not understanding what had just happened but you also knew that he had never yelled at you before. Ever. Sure you'd seen him frustrated and stressed but even then his outbursts were never directed at you. Not like this.

Tears started to fill your eyes. You grabbed your phone, wanting to call him, had already one arm in your jacket to go after him, but decided against it.

The phone in your hand buzzed but it was only a text from your friend asking about your day. You typed a nondescript reply, not wanting them to worry and promised to call tomorrow.

Now only silence filled your apartment. Silence and the taunting smell of an untouched dinner.

You paced a while up and down your living room, throwing tentative glances through your window to see if you could maybe spot him on the dark street below. But nothing.

You started several messages to Tooru but deleted them before hitting send - none of them sounded right.

Not knowing what else to do, you put the now cold dinner into the fridge, took a shower and headed to bed, unable to stop more tears rolling onto the pillow.

You heard the front door unlock at around 1 am, but didn't know if you just imagined it in your half sleep state.

A soft knock came from your bedroom door. You weren’t exactly in the mood to talk, so you stayed quiet. Another soft knock and the door opened slowly. For the longest moment Oikawa just stood in the doorway, looking at your, he assumed, sleeping form.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes and then shrugged off his jacket to sit on the bed. Slowly, carefully, he laid down behind you, moving closer to wrap his arm around your soft waist.

"Are you awake?", he murmured.

You shifted slightly to show him you were.

"I'm really sorry.", he whispered gingerly into the crook of your neck, "You did absolutely nothing wrong, I promise. It's just with the training and my screw ups at the last match and you have been so great about it all and-"

You heard his throat closing up as he nuzzled closer to you, "I really don't know how you put up with it. I'm never around, I never have time to do normal couple stuff, I mess up your sleep schedule and you never complain. I feel horrible."

You finally turn around to face him. "Well, I am mad at you now, if that makes you feel better."

He had to chuckle through his tears and bit his lip, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. "I love you, darling."

You snuggled into his chest and entwined your fingers with his. "I love you, too."

____________________________________________

#oikawa x chubby reader #haikyuu x chubby reader #oikawa angst #haikyuu angst #oikawa fluff #haikyuu fluff #oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa tooru #hq oikawa #chubby reader

[kisskawa]

— in love and war cw alcohol, intoxication, reader has bad friends and a loving ex

oikawa’s already frowning when he pulls up next to you, hazard lights highlighting your face in blinking orange. the apples of your cheeks seem softer in this light, bunching together and causing your eyes to curve into happy crescents as his name tumbles easily from your lips.

“why are you by yourself?” oikawa demands as he nears you, outstretched hand meeting yours.

“‘m not,” you grin at the contact, letting yourself tiptoe closer to oikawa until you’re leaning against his chest. “my friends are over there,” you point up the road where oikawa can only just make out a gaggle of people, “see?”

a hand sits on your shoulder, heavy and grounding and serious. you look awfully pleased under its warmth. “why aren’t they with you?”

you look up at oikawa with a thoughtful hum, genuinely trying to remember as your brows furrow. “didn’t want to be with them,” you exhale, shrugging. your friends have never been as kind as they should be, you know oikawa doesn’t like them. you lighten up again, “’sides, was waiting for you.”

it feels like a punch to the stomach when oikawa shakes his head at you. and suddenly aching, you let him tug you back to his car and settle you in, having precariously parked in all his concern.

the drive back is quiet, nothing more than the mindless rattling of a late night radio host and the gentle purr of the engine. oikawa can feel you staring at him, trying to gage whether or not he’s mad at you.

the passing streetlights make your head swirl, a little dizzier than out in the street where fresh air filled your lungs. but you’re not alone now, and the leather seats of oikawa’s car are worn and familiar. your fingers run across the thick stitches and you use them as markers to count the flickers of orange that dance across oikawa’s face one by one. they make him look handsome, drawing long shadows across his sharp features and warming his eyes.

by the time oikawa’s pulled in, you’ve fallen asleep, chin tucked into your chest with your last thought being the driver beside you. it could’ve been worse, oikawa muses, you could’ve been sick.

he allows himself a moment. a sliver of peace to watch the way your chest rises and falls, air punctuated only by soft exhales. you really did look pretty, routine of dressing up for a night out long since perfected. oikawa can’t forget the way you’d shone when you’d caught sight of him. he leaves the car before the thought can stick any longer.

he’s only away for a split second, rounding the bonnet to get to you. the door opens and suddenly he’s surrounding you, leaning close to pull at the seatbelt, fresh linen and vanilla. 

oikawa freezes when your fingers curl around his wrist. “i miss you,” you murmur. his heart stutters painfully.

you half think you’ve imagined the mumbled confession, oikawa continuing to work at the seatbelt until you’re free and easing yourself into his arms. you stumble a little as you get out the car, it’s ok, oikawa’s got you.

“let’s go inside first,” he finally responds, voice taut.

oikawa’s flat is just as you remember, down to every last detail. the framed picture of his high school volleyball club that greets you at the door, and the blue umbrella that he never remembers to take by the shoe rack. the slightly wonky kitchen cupboard door that houses mismatched mugs collected over the years, and the blanket you’d made together on the arm of the sofa, his fabric intertwined with yours. knowing it all like the back of your hand, you walk a familiar path to his room.

“i miss you,” you repeat, firmer this time as you perch on the end of his bed, trying hard not to get overwhelmed by the comfort of his sheets. it’s so much stronger here, fresh linen, vanilla and the faintest touch of the ocean air.

oikawa shuts his eyes, “you’re drunk.”

“i’m not,” it’s true, you’d sobered up quickly on the ride back, “i had a few drinks but i’m not drunk. i mean what i said, i swear i wouldn’t lie to you.” you wouldn’t be this coherent drunk. and under the effects of alcohol, you’d never approach such a serious topic as you and tooru like this. you both know that.

“i know you wouldn’t, but you’ve still drank, you wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t. and i can’t listen to you say you miss me when i can’t tell you how i feel in return, knowing your head’s all hazy and your judgement’s wrong.”

your fingers wind in oikawa’s sheets. “you don’t have to believe me right now, i’ll tell you in the morning and every day after if that’s what it takes. but you can tell me,” you urge, “you can tell me anything.”

the floodgates open.

“you can’t keep doing this. you can’t keep calling me and asking me to pick you up, because you know i will, you know i care,” oikawa’s voice is low, defeated, as it expels the truth, “it’s not fair.”

the wobble in his words makes your heart hurt and you rub at your chest, hoping the pressure will ease some of the pain. it doesn’t. instead, it comes out in your response, more unfair than anything, “i only ever call you, i only ever want you. and it’s the same reason why you still care.”

a call of your name shuts you up, sternness stopping you in your tracks. oikawa’s never once said your name like this, always honeyed and warm and fond. the ache swells.

you crawl into bed, pulling the covers up tight to your neck and trying to hide the glassiness in your eyes. you wouldn’t cry, you couldn’t cry. oikawa was right, it wasn’t fair. because you had broken things off, you hadn’t been able to deal with the drowning comfort of oikawa’s love, and yet, you were the one calling him when you needed someone to rely on. each and every time. “’m sorry,” you whisper, the thickness in your voice comes through anyway.

“i know,” oikawa sighs, tucking in next to you, one hand around your waist and the other running through your hair, the position you’ve always liked, “i’m sorry too.”

when oikawa wakes in the morning, the glass he left on the bedside table is empty and a single painkiller has been punched out of the foil packet. the bed too is cold, a collection of wrinkled sheets and pooling blankets. your presence in the room is barely there, only evident by a trail of absences.

oikawa curls up, bed suddenly too big, too lonely, as he tugs the duvet up and over his head. he lies there for a long time, a lump as he reprimands himself. it was true, what he said last night - this wasn’t fair, he couldn’t keep doing this routine. and yet, he couldn’t do anything but care for you, its like he was programmed to. you can’t keep waiting forever, his brain commands and the twinge in his heart pulls his knees closer to his chest.

“oikawa?” the gentle call of his name forces him out from his mind and underneath the covers. his head pokes out from the duvet, brown hair messy and eyes bleary. you notice the downturn of his lips first at the sound of his surname on your tongue. it seems clunky, awkward.

your stomach churns and your hands grip cruelly at the cup inbetween your hands. it’s coffee, half milk with two heaps of sugar and caramel syrup. not the way you like it at all. you hold it out and oikawa’s kind not to mention the tiny tremble of your arms. “if you’ll let me, i owe you something,” you pause, “i miss you, tooru.”

tooru beams. not forever at all.

#oikawa #haikyuu #oikawa x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #oikawa fluff #oikawa angst #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #oikawa scenarios #oikawa drabble #oikawa imagine #oikawa headcanons #oikawa hcs #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa toru #oikawa tohru

[nanamistie]

Can you do any of the Haikyuu boys x Fem!reader, where they get into an argument (with an angst ending please🥹🥹🥹) if you can’t that’s perfectly fine <3

Haikyuu boys getting in an argument with Fem!reader, and never solve the problem.

Warnings: angst, no comfort, swearing, harsh words, cheating, heavy breakups.

Oikawa

You were such a perfect couple, at least, that's what you thought. You were so proud of him, always comforted him after losing, he cared for you, he helped you with school. It was kinda weird that he never showed you publicly, or even mentioned that he has a relationship in interviews, but those didn't matter that much to you. You were in love, right? So then, why did you find him like this?

“Oikawa how could you do this to me?” you asked him desperately trying to hear that it was just a dream. “I’m sorry, I got bored of this relationship’’ he simply replied. Your eyes widened. “Y-You got b-bored?? Oikawa Tooru, how could you? I was there to wipe your tears when you lost, and I still didn't get bored -you paused- i hoped and prayed that one day you’ll win and be happy, and I would’ve wiped those tears again because they would’ve been of joy. And you got b-bored?” you looked at him with tears running down your cheeks. “I don't need to explain myself, it’s not my fault you were dumb and got attached” and with that he simply left you there, crying all by yourself.

Atsumu

He was so full of himself tonight. His team won an official match against Karasuno, but that doesn’t give him an excuse to treat you like this.

“How about we celebrate by eating out?” you asked while he sat on your shared bed. “Nah, I'll go talk to the boys and maybe play a game or two” he said standing up from the bed. “Why don’t you celebrate with me and you celebrate with them? I was there for you in stands of all your matches”

“Y/n, they are my teammates, they are more important than you are. Plus, you are a woman, why don’t you go back in the kitchen and make me something to eat.” your face got all red and flushed, you grabbed your purse and hit him in the head with full force. “Fuck you!” you grabbed your keys and left the apartment.

You slept at your friend's house, actually, you barely slept. You waited for him to call you all night, but he never did.

Kuroo

The last few days had been very tense. You and your boyfriend Kuroo were having a lot of small arguments,about the fact that he got late home almost everyday, he wasn’t giving you enough attention, you couldn’t come to his matches, things like this. But none of the small fights ended like this one in this morning:

“All I’m saying is that you could come home earlier from practice, or at least bother to text me that you’re gonna be late, it’s like you don’t even care that I'm here waiting for you day and night!” you yell at him. “Whatever Y/n, I’m late to practice” you both knew this was a lie. But you heard him mutter under his breath “I wanted a break anyway.”

And with that, he left. He left with no goodbye, no explanation, no excuses. You felt your whole world collapsing on you. You sat with your knees to your chest, crying, hoping he will come back and tell you that he didn’t mean what he just said.

Bokuto

Today he lost another game. And he felt like it was all his fault. So why won't he blame somebody else and maybe let his anger out on that person too?

“Baby, Kou, it’s fine, it’s just a game” you get interrupted by him. “No, it’s not just a game, Y/n, it’s volleyball, everything is important about it! WELL, I MEAN HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A HOBBY, YOU NEVER DO ANYTHING! ALL YOU DO IS BOTHER ME AND KEEP DISTRACTING ME FROM THE ONLY THING THAT I REALLY LOVE!!” you pause your breathing. You felt so guilty, you look down, you don’t even dare maintaining eye contact with your “boyfriend”. Tears pick at your eyes, and you cross your arms.

“Yeah, sure, cry, that’s all you can do, since you know what I just said is true.” You felt those words cut so deep, your heart broke in a million pieces.

Osamu

You never really learned how to cook, but seeing your boyfriend cook everyday made you learn a few things, so you thought you could make something special for him tonight. I mean, what could go wrong? Everything.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU WASTED SO MUCH INGREDIENTS, AND YOU STILL FUCKING BURNED IT, HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?!” he yelled at you, showing you the mess you made in his kitchen. “I'm really sorry, I just wanted to make something good for you once…”

“Well, apparently you can’t, so why don't you just leave?” You looked up at him, but his gaze scared you- there was no more love in his eyes, not even a little bit. What was wrong with you, were you that hard to love?

Iwaizumi

“I love listening to you” you confess to him. “You do?” you look at him, reassuring him “Yes baby, of course i do! Even when you talk about how much you hate Oikawa, you know, i had a friend that i hated her the exact same way but-”

“Well if you like listening to me, then why do you make it about yourself?” you froze. Did you just do that? “I-” you looked into his eyes searching for his love and reassuring but where were those? “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to, you know that, right? I’m really sorry, Haji, look at me” you tried grabbing his face but he pushed your hands away. “Just leave me alone already, with your excuses and everything. I’m getting tired of this. We’re done.”

You hated yourself. That small mistake you didn’t even know you made, cost you everything.

...

Hey!! Of course I can write this! Sorry it took a long time, someone caught a cold and couldn't do it on time. Hope you liked it!

💕💕💕

#haikyuu angst #hq boys #haikyuu headcanons #hq angst #haikyuu boys #hq headcanons #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #oikawa headcanons #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #atsumu angst #atsumu headcanons #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo angst #kuroo headcanons #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto angst #bokuto headcanons #miya osamu #osamu x reader #osamu angst #osamu headcanons #iwazumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi headcanons

[noosayog]

[exactly where you wanted me] in which Oikawa asks you to be his fake girlfriend and isn't expecting to be swept off his feet

wc: 2.3k

warnings/content: she/her!reader, minimal angst, mostly fluff, love triangle-ish (as I had forewarned), pining

It’s a Friday morning, when Iwaizumi, accompanied by a very excited looking Oikawa, pulls you aside before homeroom starts. 

Suspicious, you think. But if Iwa-chan is on board, it can’t be too bad. 

After lots of flowery words and floundering from Oikawa, Iwaizumi explains that Oikawa wants you to pretend to date him to deter his fangirls from crowding practice afterschool in less than two sentences. He uses an additional sentence to say it’s stupid but probably effective. 

You’ve been friends with Iwa-chan since your first years in high school and you generally think Oikawa is amusing, so you agree.

--

There’s not much to fake dating that’s different from real dating. You spend time together and there’s no way Oikawa’s heart stood a chance against getting this much alone time with you. He’s enjoyed being able to hang out with both you and Iwa-chan together before, but now, as your fake boyfriend, he’s allowed to indulge in all of your attention. He likes that. 

So in the spirit of playing the role of a good fake boyfriend mixed with some selfish intentions, he asks - begs - you to come to cheer him on at a friendly practice match between Seijoh and Shiratorizawa, because that’s what people who are dating do. You agree. 

On the day of the match, there you are, dressed in his spare turquoise blue jersey. He doesn’t realize he’s grinning like a maniac until Iwa-chan smacks him upside the head to tell him to start warming up. 

He’s still having trouble focusing when he notices you making your way down to the court. Instead of going straight to him, though, he watches you make your way to the Shiratorizawa side of the court. He’s about to stop you, out of concern that straight-arrow Ushiwaka would reprimand you for interrupting warm-ups, but to his surprise (horror), Ushijima meets you in the middle and starts chatting with you. 

Okay, what’s going on here? Is Ushiwaka… trying to flirt with you? 

Rationally, he knows it’s unlikely. Chronically, Oikawa is an overreactor and overthinker. 

So he storms up to you and wraps his arms around your waist to pull you away from the enemy captain. He hides your entire frame behind his and puffs his chest up, arms crossed defensively. 

“Ushijima,” he greets with false bravado. “Do you need something with my girlfriend?” 

“Oikawa,” Ushijima says in his calm voice, and nothing else. 

Nothing else? Okay, he was used to carrying the conversation with this brick wall of a man anyway. “Ready to lose today?”

Ushijima’s head cocks to the side, “Who, me?” 

Oikawa’s eyes twitch. “Do you see anyone else here? There’s no way I’d lose with my girlfriend cheering me on.” 

Ushijima’s eyebrows raise. “Girlfriend?” he questions, looking at you. 

“Yes,” Oikawa asserts. He doesn’t like the look Ushijima is giving you. Like he knows something, knows you. 

“Wakatoshi,” you start. 

First name basis? 

Oikawa’s uncomprehending but there’s no time for explanations because Coach Washijo is calling Ushijima and Iwaizumi is calling him. You give both him and Ushijima a little wave and say nothing else as you return to the stands. 

Seijoh wins with Ushiwaka sitting out for 2 of the 3 sets played. You had cheered for him as promised. After the match, his teammates give him a hard smack in the back, Iwa-chan adding a glare and warning to stay focused regardless of official or practice match next time.

As you’ve been doing every evening since you started fake dating, you wait for Oikawa outside of the gym to walk home together. However, unlike any other day, Oikawa does not wound his arm around your shoulder nor does he clasp his hands in yours. He puts a respectable 2-feet distance between the two of you. Adrenaline from the game subsiding, thoughts of you and Ushijima surface again. 

“Oikawa?” you peer at him. “What’s wrong?” 

“What is your relationship with Ushiwaka?” he asks, trying to sound nonchalant. “You call him by his first name.” So much for that. 

“Wakatoshi is a friend I grew up with. My parents are friends with his.” You’re casual, as if there is nothing more to the story. 

“And he always lets you interrupt his warm ups to talk to him?” his voice heavy with implication. 

Your quick replies come to a halt. The pause is heavy and awkward, but this time, when you respond, you meet his eyes evenly. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Oikawa shrinks at your narrowed eyes. “Nothing,” he mumbles. He doesn’t know if he wants to hear the answer anyway. “Thanks for coming today,” he says quietly. “I’ll see you on Monday then.” 

You allow him to lean in and give you your usual peck that comes with any goodbye with Oikawa, today on the cheek. “Bye, Oikawa.” 

--

On Monday, he updates Iwaizumi with all the details. Predictably, Iwa-chan slaps the back of his head. 

“Oww! Why did you do that?” 

“Why does who she’s friends with matter to you?” Iwaizumi starts walking away but pauses to crane his head back to level Oikawa with a stare. “That wasn’t a rhetorical question. Figure it out yourself, idiot.” 

Oikawa’s left rubbing the back of his head.

--

Mattsun and Makki are next. 

“Well, just think about it,” Makki says. 

“Why does it bother you so much that Ushiwaka is involved with her?” Mattsun finishes. 

“Well, she’s my-”

“Fake girlfriend.” Mattsun interrupts. 

“Fake.” Makki echoes. 

“Fake.” Mattsun nods. 

--

Oikawa reminisces about the first time you called him Toru. It had been the first time the two of you had walked home together after you had started fake dating and Oikawa had thought that you would start calling him Toru all the time.

You didn’t. Even though you call Ushijima by his first name. 

Contrary to Iwa-chan’s constant labeling, Oikawa isn’t an idiot. He knows that this jealousy and greed for more of you – your time, your attention, your affection – all point to one thing. He is self-diagnosing lovesickness. He has a crush on you. 

Logical next steps would be for Oikawa to take full advantage of all the alone time he gets to spend with you as your fake boyfriend, sweep you off your feet, seduce you, the works. Not that he hasn’t already been doing that. 

Luckily, as your fake boyfriend, a big perk is that it’s literally in Oikawa’s job description to scare potential suitors away. Not that it was hard with how popular and good-looking he is, if he does say so himself. 

However, tricking your childhood friend proved more difficult than he had hoped. In fact, it seemed the two of you didn’t have to, because the next time he sees you and Ushijima, somehow your childhood friend seems to already know. 

It’s later that night when Oikawa decides he wants to go on a late night convenience store run for some ice cream with you. You had responded, jokingly, “Fake boyfriends don’t ask me out on dates.” 

“Who said it was a date?” 

You laughed and agreed. 

So he meets you at your front door, dreaming of skipping to the store, swinging hands with you, and looking forward to an ice-cream induced sugar rush. Those dreams are quickly dashed when your front door swings open with a guilty looking you. 

“I’m sorry, Oikawa,” you start but before you can elaborate, your front door opens again to reveal Ushijima. You turn your head back and nod lightly in Ushijima’s direction, as if that explains the situation. 

“Oikawa,” Ushijima greets, his usual stoic mask unchanging. 

Oikawa turns his cheek at him and ignores the greeting. He leans in conspiratorially with a hand over his palm and whispers obnoxiously, “what’s he doing here?” 

You slap his hand away and turn to Ushijima. “Wakatoshi, I don’t need a chaperone. You can just go home.” 

“Your parents asked me to accompany you to the store if you wanted to go.” 

“Oikawa can take me.” 

“Your parents asked me,” he says simply.

You apologize to Oikawa for Ushijima’s bullheadedness, and he knows you intend to assuage him, but all he can think about is why on earth are you apologizing for Ushijima? But all he does is nod and make towards the convenience store. When you fall into step with him, he does not skip with you and swing your hands. He also doesn't think he's going to be feeling any sort of sugar rush anymore, mood soured. 

Oikawa can’t help but drop a comment as the three of you are walking home. “Kind of insensitive of you to be third-wheeling a date, don’t you think?” 

Ushijima’s eyes flip over to you. “I didn’t realize you needed to be on the job during the weekends too.” 

Oikawa’s smile drops. On the job? He turns around to face you, watching your face carefully as you flash Ushijima a sheepish smile, eyes flickering between the two captains. 

“Don’t call it a job, Wakatoshi.” 

Oikawa’s stomach twists when he hears you call him by his first name again. 

Ushijima ignores your comment and turns to Oikawa. “I’ll walk her home. You can go home.” 

You shake your head at him. “No, Wakatoshi. Oikawa will walk me home. I’ll see you later.” 

Surprisingly, Ushijima concedes and listens to you. “Bye, Wakatoshi,” you say. 

The two of you watch Ushijima’s back recede further and further and don’t say anything even when he’s long gone. You start walking in the direction of your home, but Oikawa takes hold of your wrist. 

“You told him?” 

“Who? Told what?” 

Oikawa levels you with a hard look that you’re not used to. 

“No!” you deny. You’re avoiding eye contact.

“Then how does he know?” He can’t help the accusatory tone slipping into his voice. He’s scared that if he isn’t on the offensive, he’ll let the hurt slip out. 

“Well, I… You know I’m a bad liar! He just… found out!” 

You wait, maybe for Oikawa to laugh it off and tell you it’s okay as he normally would, but he doesn’t. 

“It’ll be okay,” you explain. “Wakatoshi doesn’t go to our school and even if he does, he would never talk about other people's problems.” 

There’s a lot Oikawa wants to ask. Like why you’re vouching for him, why you call him Wakatoshi, when he’s just “Oikawa.” But instead, he just nods robotically and you seem relieved that he doesn’t seem mad. When you arrive at your front door, Oikawa stuffs his hands in his pockets and waits for you to go. You don’t, but he doesn’t know what to say. Maybe he’s the only one feeling this thick tension and awkwardness in the silence. He opts for a quick goodbye but before he can walk off, you grab his arm and yank him back. 

“Oikawa,” you say. 

“What? You might as well have pulled my whole arm off! I need my arms, you know,” he jokes.

“Toru.” Your eyes are steady looking at him. “What’s wrong?” 

Oikawa’s smile drops and he breaks eye contact first. He can only look at the floor while he thinks about what he can say. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re uncomfortable, but I’m your friend right? We may not be really dating, but I still want to be there for you if you’re having a hard time.” 

Silence. 

“Is it Wakatoshi? I know you don’t like him but-” 

“Do you?”

You blink. “Do I what?” 

“Do you like him?” 

“No!” you exclaim, taken aback. “Where did that come from?” 

“You call him by his first name.” 

“Well, yes. We’ve known each other since we were children, though! There’s no special meaning.” 

Deep breath. 

“So when you call me by my first name, is there special meaning? We’re not childhood friends.” 

Your eyes widen like saucers and you’re the first to break eye contact, face to the floor. 

There’s a long pause and he feels stupid for even asking, for hoping. Oikawa sighs and takes a gaping step back, away from you. “Forget I said anything.” 

“What if it did,” you whisper. So quietly, Oikawa almost missed it. And he would’ve, if he isn’t in a constant state of hanging onto every word you say, every sign you give. 

You meet his eyes, and repeat, “what if it does?” 

Oikawa isn’t processing this information quick enough, but he can already feel his hopes welling up to fill his chest. He’s so scared that he might be misreading the situation, fitting meaning into your words. “When I say special meaning, it means special.” He says dumbly. He emphasizes the word special, in hopes that you would understand the entire slew of suppressed feelings in that one word. 

“I do understand,” you say simply. 

It was a feeling akin to when it was simultaneously his service point and match point. The simplicity in which you delivered your meaning left no choice but to flood his chest with hope. He doesn’t even realize that he has a massive smile plastered on until you’re mirroring his expression. He waits no longer in stepping into your space, fingers intertwining with yours. He gives you your usual parting kiss, on the forehead, and lingers a few moments longer. 

“Good night, then, girlfriend.” Even if you can’t see his face because of how close he is to you, he makes sure you can feel the curve of his grin and every word whispered against your temple. 

He’s feeling good, satisfied, as he turns around to make his own way home (to squeal and roll around in glee in private), when you grab his arm once again. 

Shameless, he gloats, “still haven’t had enough? I’m happy to-” 

In true fashion, you humble him by pressing your lips against his, effectively shutting him up and wiping the smirk off his face. When you pull away, he chases your lips, eyes still closed. You giggle, give him one more gentle peck, and skip inside, leaving him there, red as a tomato.

#noos writes #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #hq x reader #hq fluff #hq x y/n #hq imagines #hq angst #oikawa toru #oikawa fluff #oikawa angst #oikawa x y/n #oikawa tōru #oikawa toru x y/n #oikawa toru x you #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa toru angst #oikawa toru fluff

[teddybeartoji]

彡 A MASSIVE PILE OF GUILT

☆. contains: tooru oikawa x gn!reader; this is called angst i think (with comfort), reader plays volleyball and oikawa comforts them after they lost a match, reader talks badly about themselves:( i'm sorry, they swear they're just really really good friends but they're also just fucking stupid wc: 4k

in the blink of an eye the loud screams and cheers transform into a disgusting mix of muffled noises in your ears. the lights are too bright and you feel like you're stuck to the ground; stuck under hundreds pairs of eyes. you can't move, you can't breathe. your arm stings, a painfully clear reminder of your fuckup.

you should've had it, you saw it coming, you had a plan and yet - here you are, watching the colorfol ball hit the wall of the big arena with a quiet thud!. your eye twitches, locked onto the missed oppurtunity in a form a sphere sit metres away from you and your teammates.

because of you.

like a statue; turned into stone, you stand in your awkward position, unable to comprehend that it's over. that it's really over. it feels like everybody is looking at you, cursing you in their own heads. is this what drowning feels like? even if you could open your mouth to try and save yourself with a big breath of air, the stifling stench of losing would surely just make you choke harder.

a palm slaps onto your shoulder and you don't have to look at the person to know who it is – a dejected captain trying to pick up their loved teammates. you can't look at them; how could you? they're trying to cheer you up while you're the sole reason you lost in the first place. they give you a squeeze, a silent plea for you to snap out of it and you comply, not wanting to humiliate them any more.

you did well!

an arm around your shoulder, you're being dragged away from the court and you taste blood – the result of biting into the soft skin of your inner cheek in order to surpress a cry. the lights are too bright and you just want out.

after the handshakes and the formalities are done, your coach gives you all a pep talk. not that it helps but what else is there to say right now. you eat in almost complete silence; the only sounds in your ears being the chewing and the crying.

you've yet to do that. your lip wobbles and your eyes are red but so far, no tears. but you know you will – it'll be the only thing you'll be doing after you've locked yourself away into your room.

good game!

you feel sick. the food in your mouth is starting to taste like vomit and the water isn't helping either. still, you refuse to stop. refuse to raise your eyes from your table to ask whether you can leave. you will sit there as long as the others do and you won't complain. you will eat the food just like the others do and you won't complain. you don't get to do that.

the hugs feel just as suffocating as the eyes. you've never felt this bad in your whole entire life. you feel bad for thinking that the hugs feel suffocating – they're literally trying to comfort you and you're blatantly refusing it. stupid. stupid. stupid.

everyone has their own things they do after a loss. some like to be alone, some like to go for a run, some like to beat the fuck out of a punch bag and some like to do watch a comedy film with their teammates. it's silly; none of them laugh during it anyway. but it helps. you know it does because you've done it with them – not this time though. and they don't pressure you; they're not stupid, they understand how it feels. you need a moment and they will give it to you.

your captain does sit you down for a second before letting you go though, calmly telling you how it wasn't your fault and how you'll get it next time. and it sucks. it sucks that you don't hear it... it sucks that nothing will make this feeling go away. you know it and your captain knows it.

their warm hand resting on your back does soothe the shivers that have been tormenting you ever since you lost the ball. and for the first time since that moment, you crane your neck, raising your heavy head to meet their eyes and now you do feel like crying. the sadness is there, but so is the same warmth, the same adoration one has for their loved ones. nobody is upset with you, nobody blames you. their hand rises from your back and goes up to ruffle your hair as you let your head fall against their chest. "you're okay."

they hold you close as your tears soak their shirt. you hear a loud sigh and you know they're holding back theirs. the shivers are back and you hiccup out a broken i'm sorry, which makes the captain pull away immediately and grab your shoulders.

"don't. it wasn't your fault. it wasn't. you can cry as much as you want but that? you're not allowed to do that." there's a certain determination in their glassy eyes and you have no other choice but to weakly nod your head before letting it fall again.

"by the way, i saw you not eat properly, so i'm keeping an extra eye on you tomorrow morning, okay?" they poke your cheek and you're thankful. "i'm gonna watch the movie with the others but i'm keeping my phone close by, so if you want company at any time, just let me know."

you raise your head back up, desperate to show your appreciation for them and nod again, cracking the world's smallest and saddest smile and they ruffle your hair again before standing up. "you're okay."

they close the door behind them and you take a minute to compose yourself. you can't seem to stop your hands from shaking though and it makes you angry. your now empty room is too quiet and your own reflection in the window is taunting you with an ugly expression. is that really how you look like right now?

you don't wanna know and you don't want to keep looking at it either. so you grab your hoodie and your wallet and make your way to the lobby of the hotel. maybe the reflection in the vending machine won't be so mean.

and it isn't. it's not mean at all. it's the exact opposite actually. from the fact that it's staring at you with rather soft eyes to the fact that it's not your own reflection.

"good game, right?" you scare yourself with your own voice – already so harsh and raspy. it comes out mean and you wince. you tear your eyes from his, focusing on the sweet drink that's locked behind the glass instead.

oikawa is never this quiet and it makes you want to hit him. make a joke. just do it. just do it already. but he doesn't. his steps are quiet as he goes to lean on the vending machine. he's nothing if not observant; he sees your shaky hands pressing the buttons with so much effort; how the lips that are usually pulled into a beautiful grin he loves so much are now wobbling, ready to spill all of your sorrows. your clenched jaw as you try to avoid his gaze for whatever reason.

please, look at me.

the vending machine dings as the mechanics push your drink to you. his eyes are unforgiving and you know he means well. you know he's not gonna make fun of you, he's not gonna tease you – not now. but you still feel ashamed, whether he says the joke or not; the joke has already been made and it's right here, standing in front of a stupid pink vending machine.

your head shakes on it's own, casting shame on yourself on it's own. the drink falls with a loud thud! but before you can kneel down to get it, a hand on your wrist stops you.

his hand is so warm and it's unusual, considering he tends to be cold almost always. he doesn't push you and let's you take a deep breath before you raise your eyes to his.

if his heart wasn't shattered before, it sure is now. your eyes are red and glassy, but mostly tired, so tired. there's no glint in them, dull and sad. his hand slips from your wrist to your palm, intertwining his fingers with yours. "you did well."

your head falls back as you choke out a broken laugh. "oh, fuck off. i don't wanna fucking hear that. it makes me sick." staring at the ceiling, you shake your head again as if to rid of the words from your mind.

oikawa feels useless. he's been in your situation and yet, he can't think of anything good to say. he remembers how much he hated whenever people said that to him after their loss to karosuno. he tries to swallow the lump in his throat; everything he comes up with just makes him feel even more sick. he wants to cry because he doesn't know how to comfort you. how to make it all better.

"do you want me to stay with you?"

that's the best he can come up with. maybe just his presence will be enough when his words clearly aren't. but when you shake your head again, his heart sinks.

"that's alright. let's uh– ... tomorrow, yeah?" bringing your eyes down from the ceiling, you try to give him a reassuring smile that says i'm fine but it obviously doesn't work. you see the hurt in his eyes and you just feel bad. you feel bad for everything. you're upsetting people even off the court. you just can't help it can you?

"i'm good. i just need to be alone right now." you try again, squeezing his hand. his mouth opens but another voice cuts him off.

"oikawa!"

from around the corners emerges an angry looking iwaizumi. "here you fucking are. coach said it's bed time—"

when his eyes travel from his troublesome best friend over to yours, he swallows his words in an instant. you see the remorse wash over his face and you kind of want to laugh. it's all too funny in a fucked up way. "sorry for interrupting. hey, that was a really goo—"

good game!

he stops himself. fuck. what do you say in this situation?

"good game, i know. maybe next time it'll be a great one, hm?" the bitterness just oozes out of you without your consent, making iwaizumi wince. you feel bad.

pulling your hand from oikawa's, you kneel down to finally grab your nearly forgotten drink. "it's okay, really. i know what you mean."

another weak smile. a pathetic one. "see you at breakfast, yeah?"

oikawa shoving iwaizumi is the last thing you see as you're making your way back to your room. your hands still haven't stopped shaking and opening the door is so fucking hard. the key card slips from between your fingers—

breathe... in...

and out...

you kneel down and pick it up in slow motion as you're tunnel visioning on just getting inside the room. you hear the click! and you burst in, slamming the door shut. the ugly reflection is back and it's laughing at you and you can't do it anymore. your knees buckle from under you, hitting the soft carpeted floor as you weep. hunched over, you just look like a big pile of guilt.

clutching at your heart through your shirt, you cry and you cry, taking in raggedy breaths just to let out pathetic little sounds. everything hurts – your knees, your arms, your head, your eyes, your fingers, your legs, your inner cheek. you pretty much crawl to the bathroom, grabbing a handful of tissues before plopping right back down onto the floor. your nose hurts, too.

for almost an hour – you don't move from your spot, rooted and rotting into the carpet. it's pathetic. you think about how the others are watching the movie, shedding tears quietly but together, nonetheless. sick of your own actions, you push yourself up and change your clothes. you even manage to drink some water and wash your face in this half-alive state of being. a+ for effort, huh?

you bury yourself under the blanket, wishing the bed would swallow you whole instead. the tears have returned and you feel the pillow getting wetter and wetter by the second. you don't have it in you to grab another tissue though, letting the feeling of the soaked material remind you of your fuckup.

a floor and a few rooms away, oikawa can't stop pacing around. "but they said they didn't want me to go with them...."

"have you ever considered that people lie, idiot?" a tired iwaizumi replies from underneath his blanket on the bed. "especially in a situation like this. it's not like you were any better, you know."

oikawa just glares at him, although it's very hard for iwaizumi to take him seriously when he's wearing his matching plaid pj set. "but what if they get upset that i didn't listen to them?"

"but don't you wanna go and comfort them?" iwaizumi questions harshly. "don't you wanna be there for them? is your fear of overstepping more important than their well-being right now?"

oikawa thinks of your tired, sad eyes and his fingers twitch. "no."

"obviously, dick. go on, then. you have to be back for breakfast though or i'll punch you." iwaizumi states before turning away from his friend and disappearing completely under the blanket.

"you're so mean, iwa... can you not threathen to punch me every two seconds? i'm trying to be so good." oikawa mutters with a pout, grabbing his phone and his hoodie, ready to be your knight in shining armor. knight in plaid pyjamas more like.

"just go already." his friend grumbles and oikawa gifts him a small bye-bye as he's already halfway out the door. the next thing he knows, he's sprinting through the hallways, thanking himself in his head for making you tell him your room number the second he saw you this morning. he doesn't even take the elevator, instead taking triple steps up the stairs. he's also thanking himself for becoming an athlete.

knock! knock! knock!

dismissing that as just a noise from the room next door, you continue your sniffling but when the knocks repeat in a faster manner, you figure one of your teammates had forgotten their key card. so, ever so slowly you push yourself from the comfort of your bed and head over to the door while trying to wipe the tears from your eyes as to look at least a little bit more composed. you're even ready to crack a joke about them losing the card, desperate to disctract the person behind the door from yourself.

but it's not any of your teammates, nor is it your manager of your coach.

it's your oikawa instead – eyes wide open and slightly panting. "you said you don't want me here but i– fuck, how many steps can be between one floor..." he clutches his hand over his chest, the stupid comment slipping out all on its own.

for a millisecond, for a fraction of time, the corners of your lips turn upward but they fall just as fast back down, leaving you both just standing there, staring at each other.

your eyes look way worse now; way more red, way more tired, way more sad, way more dull than a mere hour ago. he should've come here sooner and he imagines iwaizumi slapping the back of his head for his mistake.

"you said you wanna be alone but i don't care."

his blunt statement catches you a little off-guard, your eyebrows furrowing but oikawa just takes it as a green light. if you didn't want him there, surely you'd tell him that right away but you've been standing here with him for a almost half a minute and nothing.

he takes a step, closing the distance between the two of you. he pushes his glasses up on his nose and fiddles with his own fingers and it's weird again. he's nervous. but this isn't about him – it's about you. whatever he's feeling right now is nothing compared to what you're feeling and he just wants to be here for you.

for a second time today, he watches your bottom lip wobble and your chest rise as you take short sharp breaths. and for a second time today, a pair of eyes feel actually comforting. he's not trying to burn you, he's not trying to take back time and alter your actions. he's merely observing instead of dissecting. he's ready to catch you when you fall.

and you do. it's hard not to when he's standing in front of you and looking at you so fondly. your head falls against his strong chest, hands tucked between your bodies as his firmly wrap around you. he takes another step inside and closes the door behind him with his foot.

he listens to you cry into him, he feels your tears on his shirt and through it, on his skin. your hands grasp onto the material, bunching it up in your fists and he just holds you tighter against him.

"you're gonna win next time, i promise" he murmurs.

but when you just sob out a but i wanted to win this time, his heart aches so bad he thinks he's going to die.

oikawa curses at himself for walking right into that one and this time he swears he feels iwaizumi slap the back of his head for real. but he has no time to pity his poor choice of words when he feels your hands clutching at him just where his heart is.

he whispers a quiet i know and you sniffle again. he starts drawing soothing circles onto your back with his palm and he feels so warm. releasing his shirt from your hold, you snake your hands around his body instead, burrowing your face even more into his chest and you faintly hear him coo. it's the first time ever that he's done it in a genuine way and it's the first time you haven't felt the need to punch him for it.

his hand rests on the back of your head, keeping you in your place as he gently sways the both of you from side to side. "i got you."

after some time, he feels you going slack against him and decides to guide you to the bed. he climbs in with you and safely tucks you into the crook of his neck and lets you cry some more as he whispers it's okay against your temple. he just hopes that he's actually helping, that his words actually have an effect. god, he hopes he's making it at least a bit better for you.

he is. he's doing more than he could ever imagine. the thick goo of guilt and shame seems to be draining out of you when you feel his lips brush against your skin. he just might be washing the it off of you with his quiet praise. his words don't sound condescending nor do they sound fake. he means it when he says that you really did do well.

the tears have dried by now and oikawa can feel your eyelashes fluttering against his neck. the long tiring day is finally catching up to you as your breathing slows. he rests his head on top of yours and presses your body indifinitely closer to his. the tips of his fingers dance across your skin, drawing little circles and hearts as he soaks in the sight of you relaxing against him under the moonlight.

"did..."

your meek voice makes him crane his neck back so he can look at you better, ready to hear out whatever complaint you have, ready to comply to whatever request you have.

"did iwaizumi send you?"

...

"WHAT?" it comes out way louder and in a way higher pitch than he'd intended it to. he immediately clears his throat but his eyebrows are still furrowed. "i wanted to come here, why would you say that..."

he still can't see your face clearly from this angle but the way your body moves, is telling him that this isn't you crying anymore. this is you laughing.

"are you– are you fucking laughing at me right now?" he questions, trying to pry you from his neck to confirm his suspicion. and he's fucking right. when you finally unlatch yourself from his body and roll onto your back, you have the tiniest, smallest smile on your lips and oikawa's mouth falls slack. "i wanted to come! i– i'm a good friend!"

it shouldn't be this funny. it really shouldn't because he is a good friend, isn't he? he's here now, holding you, comforting you; he came to you and you're now making fun of him. but you can't help it, the thought of iwaizumi "lecturing" him is silly in this moment. not that you doubt that he came here only because of that, of course. but knowing him, you just think he probably needed a push to actually do it.

oikawa holds himself up above you, observing the small freckles that adorn your face. your eyes are still red and still tired but... the small little glint is back. the same one that's always there when you make fun of him. or when you laugh.

"i literally ran here and this is how you treat me?"

"you're telling me it took you an hour to run up the stairs? i thought you were a volleyball player, shouldn't your stamina be better–" you poke at his chest (right where his heart is) and he lets out a very loud and a very dramatic gasp. "or did your boyfriend have to convince you to come over and console me?"

oikawa's lips tilt into a smirk, happy to hear you barking at him at last. "first of all, don't ever call him my boyfriend ever again–" he situates himself next to you, so his both hands are free. you should've seen this coming, too. "and second of all, you really oughta treat me better."

before you can taunt him with a good old "or what?", his hands are tickling your sides, fingers dancing along your skin as laughter bubbles up from your throat. you try to fight him off, hands clutching onto his in order to stop his torment but to no avail.

"i am... trying... to be.... a good... friend... and this is... what i get... huh..." he rasps as he continues soaking in the sound of your laughter.

"you're.... always... in it for something... that's not... a... real friend... tooru..." you breathe back with a grin and he stops. he doesn't take his hands off of you though, just resting them on your waist.

"you're spending way too much time with iwaizumi, you're both just so mean to me." he's pouting. oikawa is sitting back on his legs and he's actually pouting.

"am i gonna have to console you now?"

"yes." he deadpans.

...

you push yourself up onto your elbow and lean up to boop his nose. "you're stupid."

"no, you're stupid." he grins back.

he has his ways of getting you out of a slump, he always has. him sitting here on your tiny little bed, pouting and laughing is only merely of them. you couldn't wish for a better friend. his hands feel so warm on you and you're so grateful. sitting up, you slap your hands on his shoulders (which of course, makes him wince in a very over the top way). "thanks for coming, tooru."

he rolls his eyes. "pffft."

...

pfft?

"excuse me?" you glare at him and he decides that you and iwaizumi can never hang out ever again.

"i– i meant– yeah, of course. anything for you." he stutters out as you keep glaring at him. he then leans in closer, so much so that your noses are almost touching. "i'm really proud of you, you know."

heat crawls up from your neck and you feel the tips of your ears warm up, overwhelmed by the sudden genuine praise. but you can't let him have the upper hand. not now, not ever. he'll never let you live it down.

"your breath stinks, you know."

his eyes close with another incredibly dramatic sigh as he rests his forehead against yours but while doing so, he takes notice of your hot skin and the way you giggle, and translates it into your language –

thank you.

#everybody say hi oikawa welcome to loserville oikawa #it was gloomy outside so i ofc had to cook up some sad shit smh #first time for oikawa so yk as usual i am very nervous #is he too soft here #idk #it is what it is #wtf mickey can write #oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru fanfic #oikawa tooru imagines #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #hq oikawa #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu fanfic #tooru oikawa #tooru oikawa x reader #hq x gn!reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa fluff #oikawa drabble #oikawa angst

[mitsuyeaah]

TRAIL OF BROKEN HEARTS

TŌRU OIKAWA x f! reader

“cause i’ve made some real big mistakes but you made the worst one look fine. i should’ve known it was strange.”

cw: college au, older brother’s best friend!oikawa (older brother is iwaizumi ofc), mutual pining (but oikawa is dumb and doesn’t know how to handle his feelings), nsfw (mdni), slight angst, smut, drunk sex, creampie, mentions of alcohol use (brief), pet names (baby, pretty girl)

word count: 5.9k

a/n: for my pookie tōru!!! hehe of course i’m posting something for him, i’ve been having severe tōru brainrot and i just HAD to write. © divider: animatedglittergraphics-n-more

“Say it..” Oikawa panted, umber eyes staring intently at your own, clouded with lust.

Loud music that penetrated the thin walls of the frat house slowly turned mellow—the sharp beats, and bass that had vibrations coursing through your veins were drowned out as every minute passed. Occasional cheers of many intoxicated college students that littered the house were watered down into a muffled mess as your ears rang from the sheer tension slowly building inside the walls of this very room you were in. That’s right, it was only the two of you—you and Oikawa, all alone with the door locked behind him.

Your cheeks warmed under his intense stare, moonlight that seeped from the window casting a faint glow on the side of his handsome face, accentuating his features and bringing out its sharpness that you’ve grown to love—pools of endless hazel glimmering from the silvery light. You swallowed thickly, his hot breath fanning over your face as he waited for your response. Your skin burned under Oikawa’s touch, his hand rested on your hip, and the other planted on the pillow, just beside your head to brace his torso.

He needed you to say that you wanted him—all of him—before doing anything further with you. Yes, his head spun from the mix of lust and alcohol but he was still in the right mind to ask you whether you wanted this or not because after all, you were his best friend’s younger sister. God, there were so many things wrong with this but neither of you cared; not when you’ve already exchanged a passionate kiss before entering the room, moaning his name into his mouth as his lips desperately collided against your own.

Fuck, Oikawa had been waiting, waiting, and waiting for this. There wasn’t a day where his mind didn’t wander to you, sometimes wandering a bit too deep for his liking which usually ended up with his hand wrapped around his hard cock, desperately fisting it as your name escapes his parted lips. He’s been waiting long enough, and tonight was the night he decided to do something about whatever he felt deep inside. Oikawa knew he’d be dead if he ever told Hajime about any of this, which is why he kept it all to himself but it didn’t help how his fantasies drove him up the wall—his body yearning for you to the extent where he swore it was almost painful.

Everything that led up to this moment was a blur, kind of. All you knew was that Oikawa was all over you as soon as you stepped foot in the house. His hand wrapped loosely around your waist, him pulling you onto his lap, his lingering stares; normally, you wouldn’t even bat an eye at him since he effortlessly made you nervous in his presence but you blamed the alcohol in your system. Oikawa mentally cursed himself for being so mean by slightly rejoicing at the fact that his best friend—your brother—couldn’t make it to tonight’s party due to being rostered for a shift.

This was all new to you because Oikawa had never given you this much attention for the entirety that you’ve known him—the two of you weren’t even close. Your older brother, Hajime, being the middle ground for both you and Oikawa. There were small exchanges of formalities here and there but that was just about it but tonight was different, he followed you everywhere and you let him—like two celestial bodies locked in an endless orbit around each other, bound by gravity. But what exactly was this gravity for both of you?

There was this voice at the back of your mind that told you this was wrong. That this would end it a messy disaster, given his reputation—not only loved and adored by many women but also surrounded. A ladies’ man, if you must, all thanks to his popular history with volleyball. You’ve always known deep down that Oikawa would never reciprocate your feelings because he merely saw you as Hajime’s younger sister, and acted like nothing but an older brother to you. But up until now, everything you believed didn’t seem so believable anymore; not when Oikawa had you underneath him, eyes blown with pure lust.

Maybe this time, this time you’ll shut out that pesky little voice in your head because you wanted nothing more than him—the man that’s got you trapped between his body and the mattress in a stranger’s bedroom, your brother’s best friend. Whatever comes after this, you’ll face head on but you trusted Oikawa to handle your heart gently despite the trails of broken hearts he’s left behind—something in you knew he wasn’t going to let you down. Nonetheless, you prayed to the stars above that you were right about this. About him.

Pleasure now, consequences later.

“I want you..” You breathed out, chest heaving up and down as your breaths became shallower with every passing minute.

Oikawa cursed under his breath before dipping his head down to kiss you. This time, his kisses weren’t as eager as earlier, they were slow and sensual; cherishing every second the way your pillowy lips moved against his own, and how it felt. The desperation behind Oikawa’s kisses were long gone, like he was rest assured that you weren’t going anywhere else, that you chose to be here with him. You reached your hands out, shakily grabbing the collar of his shirt as he shoved his tongue past your lips.

He placed a knee between your legs, situating it under your skirt, right at the apex where you needed him the most but he didn’t dare move it; it drove you absolutely crazy, the pressure on your cunt was there but it wasn’t enough to elicit some kind of pleasure—it also didn’t help how there was no friction at all. Whining into his mouth, you moved your hips up and down, grinding your clothed cunt against his knee. Oikawa pulled away from the heated kiss, the corners of his lips tugging into a smirk as he watched you desperately rut your hips into his knee. “How eager..” His tone was saccharine, sweeter than what he usually uses around other women.

If Oikawa was being honest right now, he was completely shitting himself. Not because it was his first time, no, but because it was you. You weren’t some other woman who would fall to his feet from mere flirtatious expressions which were often not genuine—hell, he’s pretty sure you never even saw him as a man but instead just another older brother figure. Oikawa knows this was wrong, completely wrong; he won’t blame you if you were confused out of your mind right now, given how he’s been acting neutral towards you for the past years you’ve known each other, and now suddenly he was all over you.

It was like he was put in a trance as his eyes wandered across your features. Fuck, you looked so pretty and it was all for him. Oikawa hastily grabbed the hem of your blouse and yanked it above your head, exposing the white lacy bra you donned underneath—his eyes traced your front, from the valley of your breasts down to your stomach. You were only half naked and yet you already left him speechless.

Oikawa didn’t hesitate to strip down to his underwear, he also didn’t give your eyes enough time to wander down his torso by flipping your skirt up and parting your legs further. At this point, the alcohol coursing through his body made him hornier and more impatient. He planted your feet on the bed, bringing your knees up before peppering your inner thighs with sloppy, wet kisses that earned small whimpers from you—Oikawa held your gaze as he kissed your clothed cunt.

You sucked in a sharp breath as you stared at his lustful gaze, your hands gripping the hem of your skirt at his lewdness. It wasn’t your first time having sex with someone but Oikawa was just so different from the ones you’ve slept with—so lewd, so dirty, and not as adventurous as the other’s you’ve had. “O-Oikawa.. Haah..” A moan slipped past your lips as he licked the wet spot on your underwear, the tip of his tongue stiffening to apply pressure at your sopping entrance.

“Hmm? So wet f’me already..” You threw your head back at the friction from his fingers that were rubbing up and down your clothed cunt. Oikawa’s smug smile widened as the wet spot on your panties grew from his ministrations, earning another moan from you as you clenched around nothing. “Oikawa, please. I want you in me..” You whined, the warmth from your cheeks spreading to your ears as you held his gaze. You didn’t miss the way his hazel eyes glimmered at your pathetic plea.

He tilted his head to the side, fingers still rubbing at your clothed cunt, “Oh? It looks like you don’t want me at all, baby. Your begging sounds pathetic.” The drunken words he slurred earned a slight whimper from you. You felt defeated that he was making you beg more for him when you were already as impatient as you could get. “Mhm.. Please, Tōru..? Fuck. I want your cock inside me.”

Oikawa would’ve asked you to beg for him more if you didn’t use his first name. Fuck, something about the way his name rolled off your tongue made his cock twitch. He used to fantasise about you moaning his name underneath him, and now that it’s right in front of him, he won’t let it go any time soon.

“Let’s get these off first, hm? Show me yourself, pretty girl.” Oikawa skilfully snaked his hands behind your back to unclasp the lacy restriction on your chest. Before you could even compose yourself, he eagerly pulled your bra from your chest—goosebumps immediately forming from the cool night air. “Oikawa, h-hold on..!” Your arms defensively crossed over your chest, hiding your breasts from his view. “Mmm, there’s no reason to hide from me is there? After all, I’m going to be fucking that sweet cunt soon.” Oikawa circled his hands around your wrists, gently tugging them out of the way and pinning them on either side of your head to expose your breasts.

He bit his lip at the view. Fuck, it was just like how he imagined when he fisted his cock to the thought of you. Your heart pounded against your chest, getting extremely shy from the way Oikawa was eyeing your breasts a little too long for your liking. He let out a breathless laugh, not missing the way you turned your head to the side from embarrassment. He slowly let go of your wrists to cup at each mound, his large palms perfectly covering the entirety of each breast.

Your lips parted to let out a soft moan, face contorting in pleasure as Oikawa massaged your breasts—he switched between squeezing the supple skin and lightly pinching at your hardened buds, earning a small yelp from you. “Baby, as much as I’d love to spend more time playing with your tits, I’m sure we both have one thing in mind.” He gave you a saccharine smile before placing a chaste kiss on the valley of your breasts.

Oikawa pulled back to remove the last article of clothing he had on, your keen eyes watched as he slowly pulled down the fabric, his hard cock slapping against his abdomen as he fully exposed himself. You bit your lip at his cock, your gaze tracing every ridge along his shaft. Not only was it pretty but fuck, was it long. Pride swelled upon Oikawa’s chest as he saw the way you keenly eyed his cock. You watched as he wrapped a hand around the shaft and languidly stroked it, throwing his head back in pleasure.

As if on instinct, you sat up from the mattress with your hands jutted, wanting to grab his pretty cock—your head spun a bit from the swift movement. “Ah, ah, ah. There’s another time for that, my pretty. I want to be inside you right now.” Oikawa grabbed your shoulder and gently pushed your torso back down on the mattress before climbing over your body once again.

Another time? Was that a sincere promise or an empty one? You couldn’t help but think.

With your skirt flipped up, he pushed aside your soaked panties to tease his tip at your wet entrance. You threw your head back at the raw skin contact, allowing Oikawa to dip his head down to pepper your collarbone with open-mouthed kisses.

“Fuck.. P-Please just put it in, ‘Kawa..” “Mhm, that’s Tōru for you.”

Oikawa breathlessly chuckled against your skin, and before you could retort, he pushed the blunt tip of his cock past your wet folds, earning a whine from both of you. Your hands flew to wrap around his torso, nails gently scratching at his back as he pushed his cock in inch by inch—tracing every dip and curve of his back muscles. Oikawa’s eyes rolled back at the sensation of your nails running down his back, sending a shiver up his spine as the pleasure within him grew.

“S-shit..! You’re so fucking tight, huh? This pussy is taking me so well—aah!” He let out a heated gasp as you clenched around him, his arms trembling and almost giving up from it. “Ngh! Just put it all in, Tōru.. I can take you.” Oikawa almost moaned out loud, not only did you use his first name again but you also reassured him that you could take his length just fine. That there was no need to hold back with you. His arms wobbled as he pushed the rest of his length in.

With his cock fully sheathed inside you, he buried his face in the crook of your neck, letting out a long loud whine. Oikawa stayed that way for a while, heavy pants leaving his lips as he pulled himself together. Fuck, you were squeezing him so good. His nails dug deep into his palms as you scratched his back once again from the way the blunt tip of his cock kissed your cervix, he was about to lose his mind and he hadn't even started thrusting yet. “What? Best pussy you’ve had?” You panted, one hand snaking up to play with his chestnut strands.

Normally, Oikawa would’ve retorted with something cockier but what you said was true. He’d been fantasising long enough about your sweet cunt but he didn’t know it was going to be this good. Too good. “Of course.. And it’s all mine, yeah? Fuck, this pussy is all mine and no one else’s.” He lifted his head from your neck to meet your gaze—his cheeks were now a shade of crimson, lids heavy from lust.

“Yes, Tōru. All yours. I’m all yours.”

You didn’t miss the way Oikawa sucked in a sharp breath as he held your gaze. Both of you knew there was weight to your words—it had meaning behind them, and not spurred like a drunken, meaningless confession at the heat of the moment. But that was reserved for the morning, at least.

He pulled his hips back and started thrusting while giving you a passionate kiss, earning a loud muffled moan from you. Oikawa couldn’t believe this was actually happening and fuck, it was definitely much better than having a hand around his cock while imagining it was your cunt. The sound of skin slapping, squelching, and heated moans bounced around the thin walls of the room as he picked up his pace. Fortunately, these erotic sounds coming from the two of you were enough to be drowned out by the loud music originating from the living room.

Normally, Oikawa would’ve had you in a ‘face down, ass up’ position just like with the other girls he’s had—mainly because it was his favourite position but something about being in missionary with you was different, despite how boring he thought the position to be; Oikawa wanted to see the entirety of you, how you reacted to the pleasure he gave you, your breasts bouncing with every sharp thrust of his hips, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. All of it. Not to mention how intimate the position was, being able to look into your pretty eyes as he pounded into you, and whisper sweet praises that only you can hear.

“F-fuck..! So tight for me—ngh! Just like how I ima—aah! ..How I imagined.” Oikawa rested his forehead against your own, his hot breath fanning over your face as he angled his hips to drive his cock deeper. You let out a broken moan at the feeling of his heavy balls slapping your ass over and over again which each thrust; the slapping was so harsh that it felt like your skin was burning but fuck it burned so good. “Ha—aah! Tōru..! So so good—ngh!” Oikawa breathlessly chuckled at your broken moans before grabbing your leg to prop over his shoulder, driving his cock deeper into you.

You arched your back at the new angle, a heated gasp leaving your lips in the form of his name as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Oikawa held onto the headboard with one arm, the other one planted beside your head before moving his hips harder and faster, causing the bed to squeak loudly. His lips were parted, endless desperate whines escaping as his pretty face contorted in pure bliss—his sounds definitely did not disappoint, they were breathy and higher in pitch, so desperate and needy. His moans and whines went straight to your cunt, making you wetter with each erotic sound that came from the man above you.

“Mhm—aah! Yeah? Better than any dick you’ve had, right? Haah! Of course it is..” You clenched around him, earning a loud heated gasp, and his head bowing in pleasure. “So perfect f’me, my pretty girl..” Oikawa whined, bringing his lips closer to yours—he had a hard time chasing them due to your body jolting from his quick, rough thrusts; his own lips were parted, sloppily kissing you with desperation.

Your moans increased in pitch as the familiar knot in your stomach was slowly starting to thin, and ready to snap any time soon. “Ah..! Haah..! T-Tōru—ngh! I’m cu—ah! I’m cumming!” You tugged at his hazel strands, back arching off the mattress as your limbs started to tingle with pleasure. Oikawa moaned against your sweaty skin at the feeling of his hair being pulled, he had his face buried on your neck, his whines and whimpers loud against your ear. “Y-Yeah? Mhm—ah! Fuck! That’s right, cum for me, my pretty.” He trailed wet kisses along the side of your neck and up your jaw, leading to your lips.

“Look at me. Look at me when you fucking cum so you know who’s cock is making you feel this good—haah!” He pulled away from the heated kiss, grabbing your chin to keep his gaze on him by using the hand that was previously on the headboard, while the other rubbed tight circles on your clit. You looked up at Oikawa, his umber hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, no longer swept in a neat hairstyle. His lips were red, and swollen, parted to let out heavy pants while staring into your eyes. Fuck, he was beautiful. You couldn’t help but think that all the other women he’s had have seen this view before as well.

Oikawa looked down at you, eyelids threatening to close from immense pleasure but he didn’t dare give in, he wanted to see your face while you came around his cock—the face he’d been fantasising about since the day he realised he had feelings for you. Your face contorted in pleasure as the knot deep in your stomach finally snapped, mouth forming an ‘o’ as you screamed in silence, orgasm washing over your entire body as you came around him. Oikawa cupped your cheek, thumb stroking your face while breathlessly whispering sweet nothings as you two locked gazes. Your body trembled with a cry of his name, pleasure shooting up your spine, “Tōru..!” “F-Fuck! I’m here, baby.. Ngh!—So so good for me..” He whined desperately as you clenched around his cock, his hips stuttering.

“I—aah! Inside..” You moaned, head lolling to the side as you came down from your high. Oikawa didn’t know if he heard that right or he was just drunk, “Wha— Huh..?” Your words definitely sobered him up a bit but it made his head spin. “Cum inside me. Please, Tōru.. I want all of you.” He cursed under his breath, giving you a few more hard thrusts before letting go. Oikawa sheathed his cock deep inside you and held your torso against him, his arms securely wrapped around your trembling body as he lifted your back off the mattress.

With your chests pressed against each other, he gave you quick shallow thrusts as he came, fucking his cum deeper into you while moaning you name close to your ear. The leg that was propped on his shoulder burned from the stretch but you didn’t care, not when he was fucking you this good. “A-aah! Fuck..! That’s it—ngh! God, I love you so much.” Oikawa whined as he pressed his fingers against your back, the last bit of his hot cum spurting inside you. The two of you plopped down on the mattress with a soft thud, his head buried in the junction of your neck, letting out heavy pants as he tried collecting himself.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, your hands gently playing with his messy hair as you stared up at the ceiling, realisation slowly washing over you as you sobered up more than ever. Instead of catching your breath, it turned into panicked ones, realising that you’ve had sex with your older brother’s best friend. Oikawa noticed this and looked up at you, holding your panicked gaze as you were already looking down at him.

Shit. Shit. Shit. I love you? Did he really mean that or was it just from the heat of the moment? You definitely heard him say it, so you knew you weren’t just making it up, not when his lips were that close to your ear.

How foolish, you thought. What happens now? Worry settled in as you remembered the trail of broken hearts he had behind him. You knew it was wrong to judge a person this way but everyone—your brother included—was aware of the relationships Oikawa had. Yes, no one is perfect but yet most—if not all—his past relationships weren’t ideal, and some didn’t even last more than a month long while some clearly were just a one night stand. Was that where you stood with him? Just a one night stand? You let out a shaky exhale, “Tōru—” Oikawa cut you off with a sensual kiss, his lips eagerly moving against your own as if he had an idea of what was about to come next.

This didn’t make you feel better. You didn’t know why but there was something in your mind telling you that he wasn’t going to leave you hanging like this; your mind suddenly went back to earlier tonight, where Oikawa basically gravitated towards you, following you wherever you went. You felt something back there, like he wasn’t holding himself back anymore—not selling himself short like what he’s been doing for all the years you’ve known each other. Like he wore his heart on his sleeve.

He broke away from the kiss, umber eyes tracing your features as his thumb gently swiped your bottom lip. “D-did you really mean that..?” You stared into his eyes but he didn’t return your gaze nor answered the question, “Shhh.. Let’s just stay like this for a while.” Oikawa rolled over to the side, wrapping his arm around you from behind and resting his chin atop your head. You stared at the wall in front of you, unmoving and mind racing with unwanted thoughts. No matter how much his hand massaged your hip, it didn’t put you at ease because now you didn’t know where you stood with Oikawa after sleeping with him. Fuck, how were you even going to face your brother? What would he think of you?

Shit. You wouldn’t even know how to face Oikawa the next time you see him after this, that is, if you do see him. Not only did unwanted thoughts plague your mind but you also felt disgusting. For doing something like this with your brother’s best friend; yes, you’ve had feelings for him for as long as you could remember but did he even reciprocate them? Or did Oikawa just stick beside you tonight because you both had alcohol and he wanted to get in your pants? No. He asked you earlier if you really wanted this with him and you said yes.

Maybe you weren’t so foolish after all. Or so you thought.

It had been a few days since that night and you were fucking restless. Every single time your phone chimed from a notification, you’d be quick to grab it, hoping it's from the man you’ve been wanting to hear about but disappointment washes over you when his name doesn’t pop up. Panic builds up as the days pass without hearing anything from Oikawa. You didn’t even know why you were waiting, it wasn’t like he owed you anything but you just thought that maybe it would be different for you. It also wasn’t like he was obligated to contact you, maybe you really were just a one night stand for him, and that attraction you felt was one sided. Were you just really imagining it all? Were you just waiting for something that wasn’t going to happen?

“Iwa-chan!” You were pulled back from your trance as you heard a familiar voice coming from the living room, where Hajime was. Closing your notebook, you stood up from your desk and took a few steps before peeking through the slight crack of your door to see Oikawa happily chatting with your older brother. Your heart skipped a beat upon seeing his face, legs tingling with eagerness to go to him but what would you even say? It’s not like he promised you a relationship that night nor did he confess his feelings. You couldn’t help but remember those three words he told you but at this point, it looked like it was just from the heat of the moment. Those three words probably didn’t have any weight to it like it did when you stated that you were all his.

You stiffened as your brother called out your name, instinctively ducking down as if he caught you peeking. Making your way out of your room, you tried to act as normal as possible. “We’re going to head out for a bit. Do you want anything?” “Mmm, any food is fine. Thanks..” You replied before shifting your gaze to Oikawa who stared off to the side, not even acknowledging your presence. Normally, he would smile at you whenever he came over or even give you a pat on the head while he greets you. Hajime nodded before ushering his best friend out the door, Oikawa didn’t even look back. Not even once.

The door slammed shut, the sound reverberating through the whole apartment, and you were left with your mess of feelings. Ah, so he’s ignoring me, you thought. You didn’t even know why you were feeling this way. Was it because you hoped for something more given the feelings you’ve held for Oikawa for the past years? You sat on the couch, not knowing what to do—your mind kept replaying the words he said to you that night. How he told you he loved you; how he said he’s been imagining you in ways you didn’t even know. What was the meaning of that? You knew better than to believe these words given how his personality is but you couldn’t help hoping that there was at least some kind of feeling behind them.

You buried your face in your palms, letting out a deep sigh. You couldn’t even get angry at Oikawa because he never led you on in any way. For him, what happened that night was just plain sex but for you, you thought he was finally seeing you in a different light and not just his best friend's younger sister. And now you’re left with nothing but confusion. Another statistic to the trail of broken hearts that he wore like a cape, dragging behind him. You were frustrated at yourself for letting your feelings completely overtake your common sense.

A few days turned into a week but nothing changed for you. Oikawa was still on your mind but he never reached out to you—not that he was obligated to but you figured it was necessary, given his deep-rooted friendship with Hajime. At least a little discussion about that night would’ve helped you with your thoughts a bit but no, your mind was still a swirling mess. You cursed yourself every time you remembered your foolish mistake, you knew what you were getting yourself into and yet you bit onto the bait without thinking about the dire consequences to not only your feelings but also your relationship with Oikawa.

Maybe after all, you were just imagining it. That was the easiest fact there was—being delusional because you had feelings for him, so you instantly misread what he told you that night. You looked into words that never had a meaning behind them. Baseless sentences that held no feelings.

Deciding to study at a nearby café on a whim, you enter the cosy shop, the distinct aroma of roasted coffee beans and warm atmosphere of the café immediately putting your mind at ease. The café was filled with the soft chatter of customers, and the sounds of the coffee machine. Before taking a few steps to the counter where the cashier stood behind, you noticed a familiar brown-haired man sitting at one of the tables, and he wasn’t alone. Your heart skipped a beat as Oikawa already had his hazel gaze on you, his expression somewhere between surprised and panicked. He noticed your gaze drift to the person who sat in front of him—a woman—who happily talked about something you couldn’t exactly hear.

Seeing Oikawa with other women wasn’t new to you. After all, you’ve known him long enough for you to become accustomed to this sight despite your heart breaking a little. Throughout the years, you’ve managed to patch up the little cracks in your heart whenever you saw him with someone else—whether it be the flavour of the week or a relationship that lasts for a month but today, seeing him with a woman after being intimate with him was enough to break your heart into pieces. What you did next was purely out of instinct, your feet moved on their own, hasty steps out of the café just to get away from Oikawa; you didn’t know where you were going but you wanted him out of sight.

You knew you were being a complete idiot for acting this way. Hell, why were you even running away from him? Stupid. Foolish. Why am I acting like this?! You thought. You let out a shaky sigh, your nails digging into your palms as you swiftly walked down the footpath, trying to forget the way Oikawa’s face looked when he saw you.

The sound of shoes loudly hitting the concrete footpath behind you suddenly filled your ears, you stopped in your tracks as he called out your name—you didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Oikawa knew exactly why he chased after you, it was almost like a reflex for him given how fast he stood up from his seat to run to you. He’s aware he’s been ignoring you for the past week, and he also knows it’s probably shitty of him to suddenly chase after you like this but Oikawa’s got a sinking feeling that if he didn’t chase after you, you’d slip away from his grasp. Forever.

Turning around, you crossed your arms over your chest as if to shield your naked heart. “What do you want, Oikawa?” He winced not only at your tone—sharp, and cold—but as well as the use of his last name. He didn’t know what to say if he was being honest; you watched as he opened his mouth but no words came out, gears turning in his head to find the right thing to say to you. “I meant it.” Oikawa held your gaze, brows knitted together. You knew what he meant by that, it was the answer to the question you asked him that night. You sucked in a sharp breath, heart pounding against your chest as if it was ready to leap out and jump straight into his hands like it belonged there—to be cherished, and loved.

As much as you wanted to jump with joy that he did, in fact reciprocate your feelings, it was anticlimactic. The overwhelming hurt and confusion you’ve felt for the past week was just consuming you. “I-I don’t..” You trailed off, not knowing what to say to him, especially when his umber eyes stared at you with such desperation. You’ve never seen Oikawa like this; he was usually a man of many expressions—mostly full of cunning, and ingenuine smiles but this one you haven’t seen.

“Look. I know I fucked up. I really do love you. I don’t know why I ran away—no I do know. I was scared because I’ve never been so serious about a woman, let alone my best friend’s younger sister.” He scratched his nape, taking a step closer to you. You watched him in silence, a wordless invitation for him to keep going.

Oikawa let out a shaky sigh. “I know saying sorry and this half assed explanation isn’t enough but.. these feelings I’ve had for you.. they’ve been here for as long as I could remember, and it fucking sucks that you had to find out through this mess. That night.. I don’t regret anything but I did wish it could have happened without any of these consequences. I know I’m asking for a lot but.. can we start again?” It was your turn to sigh, “It’s not that easy, Tōru.. but it really isn’t your fault as well.” Oikawa’s face softened at the use of his first name. “I mean, I knew what I was getting myself into. I admit that maybe I was just being a bit dramatic about this whole thing because I had feelings for you but looking back at it, there’s really no reason for you to be apologising..”

You took a step closer before wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in his chest. Oikawa blinked, taken aback by your sudden action, nonetheless, he wrapped his arms around you—still trying to process the fact that you actually like him back. “T-That woman back there, we were meeting up for a project..” You chuckled at his reply before looking up at him to meet his hazel gaze, “There’s no need to explain to me, you know?”

Before he could reply, you smiled at him,

“I want to start again, Tōru. This time, no running away from our feelings?” “No running away.”

© mitsuyeaah

#oikawa tōru #oikawa tooru #oikawa smut #oikawa angst #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa x y/n #haikyuu #haikyū!! #haikyuu smut #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #hq fanfic #hq oikawa #hq smut #hq angst #hq x reader #hq x you #hq x y/n #haikyuu fic #hq fic #hq fandom #tooru oikawa #toru oikawa #oikawa #tooru #haikyuu!! #haikyu smut

[k0dzukeiji]

enough for you - Oikawa Tooru

synopsis: it was foolish of you to think that you’d ever be good enough for Oikawa Tooru.

genre: lovers>exes

song: enough for you - Olivia Rodrigo

warnings: breakups, insecurity, cheating, cursing, not proof read

wc: 657

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

When you and Oikawa had first started dating, you were very insecure. I mean it was kind of a given, dating the most popular boy in school and all. Of course Oikawa noticed this and assured you that there was nothing to worry about because you’d always be good enough for him.

However over time you noticed he stopped treating you as lovingly, he stopped looking at you with that excited expression and smile full of love. Instead he seemed rather… Bored. Maybe he thought you didn’t notice but you did. You noticed how he started to treat this one girl differently. How he would give her subtle looks full of love and how he would sneak off with her when he thought no one was looking.

At first you thought it was just your insecurities getting to you, so one day when they snuck off during volleyball practice you decided to follow them. See what they were up to and maybe ease your suspicions, however thats not what happened. When you turned the corner, you saw your boyfriend hungrily kissing another girl while holding her the same way he used to hold you.

“(Name)—“ His eyes widened as he pulled away from the girl who was pressed against him.

“Save it, Oikawa. I don’t wanna fucking hear it.” You said harshly as you hurried away from him, his heart broke a bit hearing your tone.

“No— (Name) wait!” He yelled as he pushed the girl off of him, chasing after you.

“(Name) please listen to me, I can explain!” He tried to defend himself as he put his hands on your shoulders, looking down at you with a desperate look.

“Explain what? How you cheated on me? Yeah I’d rather not. We’re done, Oikawa.” You shoved his hands off of you and turned to walk away until he grabbed your wrist in his hand, pulling you back towards him.

“Please (Name)… Can’t we try again? Do you really just want to throw us away?” You nearly scoffed at his words. He’s the one who cheated on you and put you through this pain and yet he doesn’t want to break up.

“What part of done don’t you understand? I’m breaking up with you.” You tried to stay calm but behind your calm facade you were fighting the tears which so badly wanted to be released.

“I’m sorry I cheated on you (Name)… I don’t know what came over me but please don’t break up with me, I love you (Name)”

“No Oikawa. You don’t.” You lowered your gaze onto his hand which still gripped your wrist

“(Name) I really do love you please let me just explain!”

“There’s nothing for you to explain, Oikawa I’m not good enough for you and I never will be so just let me go…”

“No… No don’t say that, you are good enough for me and you always have been”

“Then why did you cheat on me..?”

“I… I don’t—“

“Don’t say I don’t know. I know you know and you know it too.”

“(Name) its not that simple—“

“Yes, it is. I’m not good enough for you, and it was foolish of me to think I ever could be” you chuckled bitterly

“You told me I’d always be enough for you, that my love would always be good enough for you, but clearly it wasn’t. Because if it really enough for you then we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” You said as your tears finally began to stream down your cheeks. Oikawa never liked seeing you cry, at this moment he wanted nothing more than to wipe your tears and apologize.

“I’m sorry (Name)…” He tried to get closer to you but you only backed up

“No I’m sorry. All I ever wanted was to be good enough for you but in the end, my love wasn’t enough to make you stay.” And with that you left. You left him behind with his thoughts and your last words which he thinks will forever haunt him.

“You were always enough” He thought to himself as he allowed his tears to fall.

Fin~

•~•~•~•~•~•~~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Wrote this in like 15 minutes and I kinda hate it 💀 does it even make sense

#haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa tōru #hq oikawa #oikawa torū #oikawa x you #oikawa toru #tooru oikawa #oikawa angst

[royalelusts]

prompts from: creativewritingprompts & glasswriter1

“I feel like I’m losing you.”

You wanted to scoff at the absurdity. He could probably tell because he shifted a bit. Trying to determine where exactly he stood with you. The whole situation was humorous really. Not too long ago you would’ve died to hear those words. To have his undivided love and attention. However, that time had come and gone with his new ‘friend’. He always tried to assure you they were just friends. Anyone with eyes can see that wasn’t the case. It was painfully obvious they were so much more than that. The fleeting glances and touches that would last a little too long to be normal.

It annoyed you at first. Maybe it was because he wasn’t giving you as much of his time anymore. You couldn’t hold it against him though. You weren’t going to stop him from spending time with them. Then things started to get more complicated. He started blowing you off. Telling you he forgot or something came up and you could do it at a later date. Empty promises. It was fine the first few times. You let it go. It was fine. And it was. Until you caught him with them at a shop in the shopping center on one of the days he was “busy”.

“You lost me a while ago.”

His eyes widened. Almost shocked that you responded that way. He couldn’t stand the silence. He missed the stupid jokes and laughter that came after. He missed your smile when you would tell him something that happened to you throughout the day. He missed the playful banter that happened over the simplest things. He missed you.

“I know. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, but I want to fix it. I just need your help and then we can-”

You sighed successfully cutting him off. Part of you wanted things to go back to normal. He was your best friend. It was hard doing things without him. It was as if your other half was missing and you hated it.

“You not only hurt me, but you also broke my trust in you. To be honest I don’t think I can look at you and not think of how you killed every last bit of love I had. Sometimes it’s confusing- if you were the one who didn’t deserve me or if I was just an idiot who couldn’t see the signs. I can not continue being tortured over forgotten feelings.”

His eyes widened in realization. The actual weight of the situation finally set in. You were in love with him. This was beyond an ‘I’m sorry’.

“I know this isn’t an overnight fix and I’m willing to work for it. I just need you to give me a chance. Just one. If you still don’t want me in your life I’ll leave you alone.”

You hesitated to speak. The longing you felt for him was overwhelming. Maybe he means it. Maybe he-

“Babe! I didn’t know you were going to be here!” They threw themselves in his lap, wrapping their arms around his neck. “Oh, and your friend is here too.” They threw you a condescending smile. Just as quickly as your resolve faltered it stabilized itself. This is why the problem started. Why you were here in the first place. There was this tension. They saw you as competition and instead of choosing you he chose them.

atsumu miya, oikawa tooru, suna rintaro, kazutora hanemiya, eren yeager, porco galliard

#✰—writes!!! #atsumu x reader #atsumu angst #oikawa x reader #oikawa angst #suna x reader #suna angst #kazutora x reader #kazutora angst #eren x reader #eren angst #porco x reader #porco angst

[incorrecttom]

They have such a high pride that they can never humble down. Never being humble enough to say 'I love yous' always keeping you a secret. Always.

And they hate it so much, they fucking do. They want to hold you in their arms as they gently soothe you. They want to speak to you, they want to -

but they can never. Always afraid that one step wrong and that they might lose their position and such or worse, be seen as weak. After all, they have to maintain a reputation. They have to work endless, even if it means pushing everyone away they hold dear, pushing you away too.

They are hurt, but they never seem to take a notice of that. They want to say that they are also sorry, they too want to cry. But can't, they simply can't the tears don't roll out. All they feel is a void and emptiness they can't explain and just wish that people noticed that.

After all they too are a living being.

And now they are struck with grief of never stopping you from leaving. Now, they question, whether their pride matters or not? Whether they have to do what everyone expects of them. Whether they have to bury their feelings or not-

Whether, they can be themselves or not? Whether they can be honest with people or watch them leave.

But does it matter anymore? After all, all they have is their pride left. The only thing that they live for and their value of being useful.

OIKAWA | LUCIFER | tsukishima | BARBATOS | riddle |

@roseadleyn , @that-one-pretty-bitch , @trash4can , @yourlocalintrovertt , @salvatvre , @dxmoness , @sxnful-rage , @starboo-txt , @crownxie , @yevene , @lady-navier0357 , @orlic1a , @ithil-lucien , @nyrwve , @meow-meow-potato

#more to be added #obey me x reader #obey me angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #oikawa angst #tsukishima angst #om lucifer angst #barbatos angst #tsukishima x reader #oikawa x reader #lucifer x reader #barbatos x reader #twisted wonderland angst #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts angst

[mavrintarou]

[4:38 PM] Oikawa Toru [8]

A long-awaited chapter, thank you for being patient with me. Happy March everyone.

Warning: angst & hurt, smut

Seventh part Nineth part

.

“Teo, when do you think Y/n would be back?” Toru asked his son who was busy suckling his four fingers. He was drooling incredibly the last couple of days, having to go through three or four outfits in one day.

At the sound of Y/n’s name, the baby looked up and his eyes searched the room.

“She’s not back yet, but her appointment is taking longer than expected.” Toru sighed in disappointment. Even though he saw her about two hours ago, he missed her.

Not just physically…

He chuckled to himself, feeling like a teenager all over again.

He’s having the most sex in his life in the last couple of weeks. Toru believed he may have a problem.

A problem of not being able to keep his hands off of her. Or from being inside of her.

It’s astonishing how quickly they’ve grown close in such a short span. While it doesn’t compensate for the time that slipped away between them, he had a lifetime ahead to make amends, forging new memories to replace the lost time.

For a while, he bore the weighty burden of fearing that Y/n might find being with him and Mateo overwhelming, prompting her to consider leaving. However, with each passing day, she unwittingly reassures him that she desires him, that she wants to be with the both of them.

His heart fills with warmth witnessing their togetherness. It nearly overflows when strangers compliment them on what a beautiful family they make.

That’s his deepest desire – to create a loving family with them.

“Feeling tired? Ready for a nap?” Toru inquired, observing Mateo’s yawn and weary eyes. Lifting his son, he reached for his blanket, attempting to swaddle Mateo in the manner Y/n usually does, but finding it challenging. “One second…” he coos as Mateo begins to whine, fighting against his father.

Toru steps back, hands on his hips as he lets out a frustrated sigh while Mateo is wailing at the top of his lungs. He is never like this with Y/n when she puts him down for a nap…

“Okay, okay,” he coos, picking his son up and rocking him. He grabs the blanket and Mateo immediately grabs it, hugging it tightly. He calms down but continues to fuss.

Something clicked in Toru’s head as he walked into his bedroom picked up one of Y/n’s worn shirts out of his laundry basket and brought it close to his son. He remembered reading that babies were sensitive to scent.

True to the theory, Mateo immediately clutched onto Y/n’s shirt and calmed down.

With a loud sigh, Toru continued to rock his son who soon closed his eyes and napped.

Carefully, he laid down on his bed with his son on his chest. Closing his eyes, he figured he might as well take a nap too with this son. After all, it’ll make time go by faster until Y/n returns.

.

Y/n opened her eyes, alerted when she heard cooing and nails clawing at her jaw. “Hey you,” she smiled at Mateo who woke up from his nap.

After her doctor's appointment, she took a long walk along the river to clear her mind.

“W – what?” Y/n uttered.

To the doctor’s suspicion, she had no idea. She inhaled and exhaled deeply before repeating herself, “you are pregnant, Y/n. Did you not know?” She looked down at the piece of paper with all her messy scribbles. “Earlier when I was asking you basic questions you told me that you noticed how you had a lack of energy, just physically tired and napped more than usual?” Y/n stared at her with a blank stare. “When I conducted your physical examination you flinched when I felt for any abnormal lumps in your breast and you noted that your breasts have been sensitive lately?”

And she was embarrassed that her doctor had seen the red hickies on her chest that were left from Toru.

“Yes,” Y/n barely whispered, “I remember.” She swallowed, she didn’t know why it did not click prior but now everything was beginning to make sense. “Are you sure I’m pregnant? I didn’t have any morning sickness. Isn’t that a clear indication that someone is pregnant?”

The doctor shook her head, “no, not every woman will experience morning sickness. Some women don’t experience until a little further in their pregnancy.” She can see the distraught patient before her, handling the news she was not expecting to hear. “I know you were not expecting this news at all. I can’t let you go until I’ve known you’re okay to leave.”

Y/n swallowed again, leaning forward onto her knees and covering her eyes.

“How… how far along am I?” Y/n finally asked after a few minutes of silence.

“We will have to do an ultrasound to get a better idea of how far along you are. Do you remember the last time you had your period?”

Y/n grabbed her phone and checked her application which tracked her period. Her breath hitched as she realized she had not been logging her period for two months, going on to three months.

She had completely overlooked it as she was occupied with her sudden lifestyle changes with Toru and Mateo.

She squeezed her eyes shut and muttered, “can I get an ultrasound done today?”

As she lay on the padded bed waiting for the nurse, Y/n has never felt so alone before.

Her hands were placed against her lower abdomen, she still could not believe that she was pregnant.

She was joyous at the news yet she was terrified.

When the technician came in and performed the ultrasound, she spoke softly, making all Y/n’s worries and doubts fade.

Y/n paid close attention to the technician’s words, and finally, she tapped on the screen. “Here they are,” she said excitedly, pointing to the circle shape on the screen. “There’s your baby, Ms. Y/L/n.”

Tears pooled in her eyes as she covered her mouth. She couldn’t take her eyes off her baby.

The joys and excitement she felt all disappeared when the nurse spoke, “I believe you are roughly eight to nine weeks along, but that’s not a definite answer…”

Y/n did the math in her head if she was more than eight weeks along… there was no doubt that the baby she was carrying was Woojin’s.

Y/n spent almost an hour sitting on the bench and staring blankly at the river.

“What happens now?” she muttered to herself.

She had just found a safe place, a home with the man she had been hopelessly in love with.

Yet now she is pregnant.

With another man’s baby.

Burying her face in her hands, she leans over her knees and groans.

When she returned home, their units were quiet. Dropping off her bag on the couch, she heads to Toru’s room, finding the two of them sleeping soundlessly.

She needed them, that was all she needed.

Carefully she crawled over and laid behind Toru, her arm slipped around his waist as she buried her face against his broad back.

“You’re home.”

Yes, she was home, home to Toru and Mateo. Y/n nodded, tightening her arm around his waist. “I’m tired too.”

Chuckling, he rests his hand over hers, intertwining their fingers together. “Okay, let’s nap together.”

Mateo’s slobber against your cheek brings you back to reality.

“Ahh Mateo,” Y/n giggled, picking up the baby. “Is that a kiss?”

The baby laughed brightly at her question.

“Oh awesome, you both are up,” Toru stood at the doorway of his bedroom wearing an apron. “Just in time, I finished cooking dinner.”

“Dinner already?” Y/n stood up with Mateo on her hip, walking towards Toru. She pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips but Toru was quicker and turned so their lips met. Y/n smiled and pressed another kiss against his lips. “I missed you.”

Toru’s smiled, “I missed you too.”

. .

Toru was no fool, he knew something was bothering Y/n.

Over dinner, he mentioned the unexpected visit from the building management. They had come to assess the damage, and the following week, a construction crew will be handling the repairs.

But it appeared that the conversation had entered one ear and exited the other. She seemed distant during dinner, raising concern for Toru.

He could discern from the graceful movements of her fingers on the piano keys that the piece she played was infused with deep emotions, as if she were pouring her heart and soul into the music notes, expressing everything through her melody.

He sensed that something had occurred during her visit the moment he felt her snuggle against his back. The way she embraced him, as if fearing his disappearance, and the trembling of her hand indicated that something had frightened her or weighted heavily on her mind.

Y/n’s finger hit the last note, ending the piece she played.

Toru could hear her soft exhalation, soft yet heavy.

He approached her from behind and gently gripped her shoulders, squeezing them in a massaging manner. “Are you… okay?”

Y/n nodded before tilting her head back to look up at him, “I love you.”

Toru’s breath hitched, these were the three words he had been eagerly awaiting from her.  

He feels his life is completed, having Y/n by his side, and hearing her true feelings for him.

Y/n rose from her seat, perching on the piano bench, her height still a few inches shy of his. Tenderly, she cradled his face and leaned in to share a kiss. “Toru,” she mumbled against his lips, “make love to me… make me scream your name…”

Any other time, he would have loved to make her scream his name but something didn’t feel right. He was about to protest when she begged, “please, Toru… I need you to take my mind off it …”

His arms wrapped underneath her backside and lifted her, carrying her in the opposite direction of his bedroom. “Let’s go to your room, that way you can be as loud as you want.”

Surprisingly, Toru has never been inside Y/n’s room before. He led them blindly to her room as Y/n distracted him with kisses.

“I love you,” she murmured repeatedly.

Chuckling, Toru couldn’t contain his smile, “I know, I love you too.” He set her down on her feet and began undressing her, first with her jeans and then reaching for her shirt. His fingers found the clip to her bra, undoing it and tossing it aside. He dropped to his knees, lips trailing down her belly until they reached the elastic part of her panties. His eyes are at direct eye level with her abdomen and for a split second, he stares at her belly.

Y/n’s breath caught. As she looked down from her perspective, uncertain if her eyes were deceiving her, she noticed a subtle bump.

“Let’s take these off,” Toru whispered, tugging down her panties. “Be a good girl and get on your hands and knees on the edge of the bed.”

Spinning around, Y/n got on her bed that she had not slept on for a while and got into the position. She could hear him taking off his clothes.

Without warning, he slams into her. Y/n had to brace herself as he pounded deep and hard. “Yes!” she moaned loudly. “Harder!”

Toru increased his speed and density, slamming his hips against her and causing the room to echo with only their flesh slapping. A sense of greed and selfishness overwhelmed him, and suddenly, a possessive feeling took hold. Y/n’s subtle indifference earlier was making him anxious. Did something happen? His mind began to conjure up all possible worst-case scenarios.

He had to grasp onto her; if she harbored any doubts about him and his son, he was determined to do whatever it took to sway her thoughts. They needed her.

Toru wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her up and hugging her tight against his body. He continued to rut into her, needing her desperately.

“Love you… I love you so much, Y/n…” he nipped her skin at her shoulder. His teeth mark embedded into her delicate skin.

“Toru! Toru, oh God… I’m close… please…” Y/n turned to look over her shoulder. She pressed her lips to his, “cum inside me…”

He knows he shouldn’t but his body acted on its own accord. Y/n permitting him to cum inside her was all he could think about. His arms wrapped tighter around her as if to keep her forever next to him.

Y/n clenching around his cock and whimpering brought Toru over the edge as he came. His hips tremble and spasm as he ejaculates.

His head drops onto her shoulder as he tries to catch his breath.

In an instant, his ears perked as he heard something that twisted his heart. “Y/n?” He released his hold around her, withdrawing before turning her around to face him. His eyes widen, “what’s wrong?” He shifted in front of her and cupped her face, searching for an answer. “Did – did I hurt you?”

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she gasped, shaking her head. She buried her face in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

Toru pulled her into his arms, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry if I hurt you… if I scared you…”

Y/n continued to shake her head, unable to speak a word as she cried quietly.

Feeling completely hopeless and useless, he only continued to hold her, murmuring sweet words to her.

After what felt like an eternity, Y/n eventually eased her turmoil. Her hands lay on his bare chest, sensing the rhythmic beat of his heart beneath her right palm – a sensation she wished to experience for the entirety of her life.

She loves this man. She loves Oikawa Toru.

“You don’t have to tell me what happened,” Toru whispered gently, pressing his lips against her forehead. “But if I am the reason behind those tears, all I ask is that you let me fix it… whatever I did… please – “ his voice choked, “I promise that I will never make you cry again…”

Y/n pulled away from his arms and sat up, at some point, Toru had laid them down on her bed. She looked down at him and reached to brush his hair away, “it is not you, Toru.”

He wished to trust her, yet a part of him still clung to the belief that he was still the reason behind her tears.

“The truth is…” Y/n took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut for a brief moment. “I am pregnant.”

Toru sat up abruptly, his voice faltering at her statement.

Her head bowed, and he sensed her shame. “I… I don’t think it’s your baby.”

. . .

E/n: I'm hurting everyone :(

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