#NICU stay tw

[bensonmichaels]

Who: Benson, Victoria, Baby Theo and Bailey @bailcyrhodes Where: Napa Valley Hospital - Maternity Ward When: October 31st, 2023 - Just after 7PM Notes: Trigger Warnings for - car accident, parental death, gang violence, premature birth, nicu stay

Clouds filled the night sky as thunder bellowed in the distance. It was storming, but that was nothing abnormal for Napa Valley, nor was it abnormal for this time of year. Fall in California was a lot less dry than a lot of the other places in America, but something about Halloween and the rain seemed to go hand in hand. This was the time of year that raincoats sales were the highest, water bills were dropping in price, and everything just seemed so much colder. Kids could be seen walking up and down sidewalks, scoping out the neighborhoods for the most decorated houses to visit on Halloween because those were the ones with the best candy. But for Benson, unlike most people that adored Halloween, it had never been a day he enjoyed. The day had always brought a bunch of harsh memories to him, and it was a day he tried to graze by without making a big deal out of it. Because something about remembering the day your life changed forever wasn’t something you wanted to remember. It wasn’t that he was a superstitious person, in fact, it was nearly the opposite. He knew that things happened by pure coincidence, and for him and those around him Halloween had always been one where more unfortunate things happened. From the death of his mom in the car crash when he was thirteen that had rocked his family to their core, to the gang-associated death of his best friend at the age of 22, it was never full of great memories. So when his fiancé Victoria Hastings went into early labor nearly a week prior, only to give birth to their beautiful baby boy - Theo - on Halloween, Benson was less than ecstatic; he was filled with nerves, because nothing good happened on Halloween. 

“You’re baby seems to be having some problems with his heart.” Were the words that echoed into his ears as his fiance’s tears fell. Thirty two hours of gruesome labor after a week of stopping the contractions had ended in a c-section, and to make matters worse, the couple hadn’t even gotten to hold their baby yet as he was immediately rushed to the NICU moments after delivery. They’d been sent to Victoria’s room after surgery, and were told to wait, despite the fact that Benson had so many questions. Was Theo alive? Was he going to make it? And How would they emotionally navigate taking care of a sick child? He didn’t want to sound ungrateful; they’d just welcomed a new life into this world. But their baby boy was sick, and Benson didn't know the first thing about taking care of a healthy newborn, much less a sick one. Though, they waited, and man, did the waiting feel like forever. Nearly thirty hours of recovery and some tests later and they were able to go see him - Benson had refused to go without Victoria, and they needed to make sure she was healthy so she didn’t risk giving her baby an infection - and hand in hand the two made their way towards the NICU floor, where they began navigating this life with a baby who had already brought them so much pain and happiness in his short little life. Theodore Alexander Michaels was the name that read on his little incubator bassinet that the nurses so carefully placed him in, keeping his body temperature regulated as he fought to stay with them. He was tiny. Benson’s finger was nearly the size of his whole hand, but he already adored that baby more than anything else in this world. His attention was fully on their son, sharing stories, laughs and tears about how much they already adored him that neither of them had even noticed the brunette that came over to check his vitals. That was until Benson’s eyes met hers and he felt the color in his face drain just slightly. Swallowing the knot that formed in his throat, he whispered a faint “Bailey..”

#benson x bailey #car accident tw #parental death tw #gang violence tw #premature birth tw #NICU stay tw #bailey thread; 001

[doginprogress]

Let me tell you about Cici

TW: dog death

I got a message in early 2022 from a breeder in Canada asking for help. One of the dogs she bred needed foster placement after the owner’s wife gave birth very prematurely. They were going to be essentially living in the NICU for the next while and could not care for Cici at the moment. I lived just over an hour away, could I look after her at my house for the next few weeks?

Absolutely I could.

Cici had no hesitations. She feel asleep in the car on the way home. She was giving me kisses and trying to play with Azula and Tansy almost immediately. She was big and exuberant and sweet as pie. She towered over Azula, but she was a gentle giant.

She did everything with 110% enthusiasm. She wasn’t in the best condition when she came home here, but she was never perturbed by anything thrown her way. During her stay she got to be loved on by all kinds of people, try lure coursing for the first time (she wasn’t impressed and ran off to socialize), and play with all kinds of dog friends.

But Cici couldn’t stay. Even though her owner had come to the hard decision to rehome her (his newborn daughter was likely to have a lifetime of lung issues, and doctors had recommended a pet free home) I knew I was not the right home for her. And I was expecting to bring home a puppy later that year. The good news was that a perfect home had been found for her. She would be flying there, she would be spayed, and she’d get the opportunity to run on acres and acres of land with other Ibizans.

I said goodbye to Cici on April 14th after she had been living with us for nearly four months. The plan was that she’d spend a few days saying goodbye to her owner, and then go off to new adventures in her new home. I was so excited for this sweet girl to go live the best life.

On May 20th, Cici’s owner posted a brief status on his Facebook page stating she had passed away during her spay surgery. That’s all we know. He wasn’t willing to share any other information. I doubt a necropsy was performed, but if it was, no results were shared.

Cici deserved to live forever. She had so much life and so much love and I can only take solace in knowing I helped make a small part of her life joyful. I think about her often, and hope she’s somewhere running around free as can be. I wish sometimes I had chosen to keep her here and make this her home. But I know that had she gotten ten, eleven, twelve more years they would have been much better lived out in her new home.

#ibizan hound #podenco ibicenco #tw: dog death #things were a bit odd and murky about where exactly she was before and after she was with me #I think all the time about how different things could have been #but I hopefully get to meet her sister soon and help raise her puppies if everything goes right

[half-oz-eddie]

My OC! Nero Castiel Ramsay

TW for graphic depictions of violence, death, mass murder, suicidal thoughts (and angst!)

For context, the military has seized control of his country, killing, weaponizing and experimenting on people with abilities. After causing a horrific accident with his fire ability, he eventually meets a girl who went AWOL from the military, who took her away from her father as a child so they could use her as a weapon. The two team up to find out where their abilities came from and what the government has planned.

His full backstory is below the cut!

"My story? Well..." My name is Nero Castiel Ramsay. I’m 25 years old. I was born July 26th in Shrill City General Hospital. 

When I was born, I nearly blinded the midwife. They had to wrap my hands in foil gloves and give me cold baths. My temperature was nearly 200 degrees. 

My mother said the pregnancy was difficult. She always had hot flashes and indigestion, but at least labor and delivery was easy, right? 

When I was brought to NICU-II, my father had my files deleted and destroyed, which is an easy task when you're the hospital director.

None of the nurses really wanted to take care of me, let alone touch me, except Evander. It was a blessing to have an older brother that was a nurse. 

It was a blessing to have siblings that loved me the way they did...

When I was brought home, my family wasn’t nearly as ready as they thought they were. 

I was burning through mattresses in my sleep for the first 2 years of my life, until the fire was a bit more under control. It wasn’t as explosive anymore. 

For awhile, my family thought maybe...it went away. Until I would throw a tantrum and set my high chair ablaze. 

I was only a toddler, and yet, I still remember the horrified look on my mother’s face. 

After that, she was always dumping me on my father and my siblings. I hardly saw much of her. She’d peek into my room, say good morning or good night, and keep walking past.

Physical contact was never really happening before anyway. Vega used to put foil around her hands and arms to give me hugs or head pats, but I was a really unstable kid. 

I was constantly uneasy and had anxiety. If I was really upset, I’d burn through the foil too.

Vega was covered in burns from always trying to interact with me. She’d hold my hand when I was scared, until her hand was blistered. 

When I got a bit older, I convinced her to stop coddling me and just help me become stronger. 

She was 12 when I was 7, so she was teaching me whatever she was learning in school. My mother hardly did any homeschooling with me. I’m surprised I’m not stupid. 

Vega studied a lot of pyrotechnics. She told me to try lotion on my hands and body to keep it slick so I wouldn’t set anything on fire. The lotion worked a bit, but then my hands were still too warm to touch. 

So then, we tried gloves. I’d burn through them within a week or so, and then need replacements. 

Then...finally...we tried both. Vega kept a “burn chart” for me. And as long as I kept my hands lotioned every 3 hours and kept my gloves on, I was able to manage for an entire month without setting a single thing on fire. 

My body was still too warm, though. I tried going outside on the front porch, instead of just staying in the yard like always. 

I saw a baby, and I ran inside and had a panic attack. 

I imagined accidentally setting the baby on fire and I lost it. 

“I’m too dangerous.” I cried. 

Vega held me and tried her best to calm me down. She held and squeezed until it was too warm, too hot, burning. I burned her clothes onto her body. She was in so much pain. 

Luckily it wasn’t as bad as i thought it was. Mom, being a retired nurse herself, was able to tend to her wounds. 

“I told you, don’t touch Nero. I’m tired of seeing you covered in burns. What if he burns your face next? People will start asking questions!”

“I don’t care about questions! I care about my little brother. He’s 13 years old, and he has no friends. You won’t even let him go to church!”

“If I take him to church, everyone will just think he’s the devil.” My mother snapped. 

I overheard everything from the doorway. I ran out into the yard and climbed the big oak tree. It was at least 20 feet tall. 

I looked up at the moon, then down at the grass. I was getting ready to jump from the highest branch and kill myself. 

I heard Evander slide the back door open. “Nero, you out here? You want some pizza? I’m buying...Nero? Yo!”

I didn’t reply. I wanted him to go away so I could finally die. 

“Please don’t look up, Please don’t look up.” I told myself. 

He took out his phone, turned on the flashlight, and looked up.

Damn.

“Hey, get down! That’s dangerous.”

“I know. I was...just trying to get a view of the city.” I came up with a quick lie. 

“I told you, if you’re willing to take some pills, I’ll drive you around. Your fire seems to be triggered by your anxiety. And since we can’t take you to the doctors, I’ll get you a script for something.”

“I...I don’t know if that’ll work. I don’t know if anything will work...”

“Wait...are you trying to kill yourself?”

“No, it's just..I um...”

“Idiot. I’m coming up.”

Evander scaled the tree like a superhero and sat next to me. 

“This is really high up, Nero. You actually can see the city from here.”

I shrugged. “I’m not supposed to be alive. What if I really am the devil like mom said?”

“She said that?!”

I answered with an embarrassed nod.

“Nero. I’m so sorry, kid. I know that hurts, but I think you were born this way for a reason. You have to discover that reason. You won’t get answers from death.”

“Maybe.”

“You can get pizza though, and extra cheese if you get down.”

My brother always knew what to say. 

I decided to keep on living, and keep trying to be better. 

Vega convinced me to try finger painting to calm myself. 

I spent a lot of time in the backyard painting, imagining what the rest of the world was like. 

My father started taking some of my paintings around and sold them. He put money in a trust fund for me, so one day I could have a life of my own. 

Lots of people around the city wanted to meet me, but my father would lie and say I had a very serious autoimmune disease and couldn’t be around others. 

Really...I was the disease. 

“As the years had gone by, I was trying to get better, but I was just fucking up everyone’s life, honestly.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” His friend said comfortingly. 

“To me it was...”

Vega had declined a full ride scholarship to the top university in the country because she didn’t want to leave me. 

Evander was putting his life on hold. He was working per diem hours making below his salary because he considered me a priority. 

My mother just seemed pale and miserable. Our relationship was strained for such a long time, until I turned 17. 

I found it helpful to intentionally let out a little fire every once in awhile. I’d burn wood in the fire pit, and then started finger painting with soot. 

One day, my mom asked me to paint her. When I was finished, she smiled, then pulled a piece of foil out of her pocket, placed it on my forehead and kissed me over the foil. 

I cried a bit, after she took the canvas inside. Then, it started raining. I’ll never forget that day. It was one of the few good days of my life. 

I felt like things were going to start getting better.

I started going out front again. The neighbors wouldn’t stand too close, since they thought I was so susceptible to germs. But, they’d say hello. They were kind. 

I started painting out front. About a week in to my porch painting, I noticed a new family was moving into the house across the street. 

It was an older looking couple, older than my parents, a son around Vega’s age and a daughter around my age. 

God...she was beautiful. Short with long hair, a cute voice, even cuter laugh, warm green eyes. I wanted to...

“Fuck her?” His friend interrupted. 

Nero narrowed his eyes. “Paint her. I wanted to...paint her...and I did. A lot.”

When she made eye contact with me as she headed into their new house, I felt my heart skip a beat. 

Later that day, my family was heading over to do their neighborly welcoming committee bullshit...and of course, I stayed behind. 

I was staring at that girl through the window. 

“Want me to ask her name for you?” Vega said, startling me. 

“What? Are you fuckin crazy? I can’t talk to no girl.”

“Sure you can. You haven’t hurt me any more than I’ve let you. You can at least make a friend.”

I watched my family head over with a casserole and the father welcomed them into the house. 

They were in there for hours. I guess they were really nice. 

Later that evening, Vega came rushing into the house first. I was sitting at the table eating the food my mother cooked.

“Her name is Corinne. She asked about you. She wanted to know about ‘the boy whose eyes look like sunlight that was sitting on the porch.’ So I told her a million great things about you.” She smiled at me. 

I felt like I was going to be sick.

“Oooh you’re blushing!” She gushed. “So her name is Corinne Baker. She’s your age. She wants to be a veterinarian, she likes to sing, she was a Girl Scout, and her family moved here from Senkil because her father got some fancy schmancy corporate job offer.”

“She uh...sounds nice.”

“Her whole family is really nice. The brother seems pretty shifty, though. Call it my gut.”

I shrugged off what Vega was talking about. I knew getting close to anybody was a terrible idea. 

The next day, I was back to my front yard painting, when Corinne came outside. I tried to stay hyper focused on my newest piece, but I noticed out the corner of my eye, she was coming closer. 

“Hello!” She called out from the driveway. “I’m Corinne. You’re Nero, right?”

“Uh...yeah. Nice to...meet you.” I hoped she wouldn’t come closer.

She didn’t. She’d come back everyday, stand in the driveway, and ask about my paintings. We’d exchange idle small talk. She’d tell me about something funny at school, or her homework. I liked seeing her every afternoon after school, and in the mid-morning on weekends. 

One day, she decided to ask vague questions about my health. 

“I’m not contagious, you know. Is that why you stand so far away?”

“N-no! I didn’t think that...I just...was worried I could get you sick. I-I go to school a-and I-I—“

I laughed. “I’m just messing with you.” 

I started getting comfortable with her.

“You can come a little bit closer. You know. So you can see what I’m painting.”

She slowly ascended the steps, and stayed a few feet away from me. My heart was fluttering. 

“It smells like smoke.”

“I paint with soot, that’s why.” 

I smelled like soot, and she smelled like flowers. We were like life and death. 

One day, she came by during a thunderstorm. I wasn’t expecting to see her. I wasn’t even painting that day. I just liked rain. It was the only time I could be comfortable outside. 

“Why’d you come today? It’s pouring!”

“I come see you everyday!”

I sat in the grass, and she plopped down near me. 

“You’re gonna get dirty. You’re...too pretty to be covered in dirt.”

“I love the rain.”

“Me too.”

We sat a few feet apart, and she revealed something really personal to me.

“Really? What’d she say?”

“I’m omitting that part.”

“What?! Why?”

“I’d never tell another woman’s business. What kinda man do you think I am? Anyway...”

I asked her if I could paint her. I worked on it for months. I never let her peek, no matter how many times she came back. 

I finished it toward the end of the school year.

“It's so, so beautiful! Can I take it with me? To college, I mean.”

“Oh...you’re going away to college?”

“Yeah, but I’ll come home for breaks. And we can video chat. Do you...have a phone?”

“No...”

“Please get one!” She begged with her eyes sparkling. 

“Um...okay.”

I knew damn well I couldn’t have a phone. It would fucking explode in my hand. 

But, of course, Vega had a plan.

“Here.” She said as she plopped a tablet onto my nightstand. “You can video call with Corinne. And it’s voice activated, so you don’t have to worry about blowing the shit to bits.”

“Um...thank you.”

Once Corinne was at university, she’d video call me all the time. 

To tell you the truth, I found it weird. I didn’t understand why she wanted to talk to me so much. She told her friends about me and everything. I guess it didn’t really occur to me that she liked me too. 

Over the years, she’d gotten a few inches closer to me whenever we sat together on the porch. 

I was getting older and controlling my fire much better than before. 

I was able to hug my sister and only feel a little warm. I couldn’t stop the fire from coming out of my hands, though. So I had to keep up my lotion and glove regimen. 

Fast forward to two years ago...

I was going out more often. I had even gotten a job at the mall kiosk. 

My boss was a good friend of my dad’s. So he told him I needed these bathroom breaks every 3 hours because of my condition. It worked. I was able to lotion my hands during my breaks and keep interacting with the customers.

Life was fantastic for once. 

6 months in to my job and nearly normal life, Corinne had moved back home for good. She was a college graduate and a veterinarian. 

“So, you seem to be doing better now. Can I...have a hug yet?”

I didn’t want to lose her. 

“Let’s...work up to that.”

She sat inches away from me. “Fair enough.”

We went to parks and beaches together all the time. One day, we went to a restaurant. 

“Is this a...date?”

“I...think so? I do like you. B-but it doesn’t have to be a date.”

“I want it to be a date.”

I liked Corinne so much, but I was so scared. What if I had to tell her about my abilities one day?

I walked her to her door, and said goodnight. 

“Nero! I don’t get a hug at least?”

“Uh...well. I’m really old fashioned. I don’t want to make any physical contact too soon. It uh...gives us time to work on the bond.”

She looked at me like I was a dumbass, but she went along with it...

For about 2 weeks.

One night, she video called me. 

“Nero. I have feelings for you. Deep feelings. I want to hold hands and kiss you. I know maybe you’re worried about your illness, but I promise I’m healthy, and your parents say you’ve gotten better. You haven’t been sick at all lately, right?”

“Uh...well I ha—“

“So, tomorrow! After you get off work. Meet me at the park across the street from the mall. I want to kiss you.”

“B-but—“

“Nero! We’re not kids anymore. I have needs too.”

“Needs...?”

“Yeah, like closeness. Physical touch...maybe...more?”

When she said more, I got nervous. The last time I thought about sex, I set my bed on fire—again. I tried to stay focused.

“Uh...okay. Let’s meet tomorrow.”

The next day, I went to work, nervous and uneasy. I didn’t know what would happen if I kissed her. 

To make my day even more stressful, my boss’s son was filling in for him. He wasn’t as understanding about my breaks. I asked to take my first one, and he groaned about how much I was needed since we were 1 person short. 

I was feeling the warmth underneath my gloves, between that and the thought of kissing Corinne, or seeing her naked...I felt nauseous. I wanted to touch her, but I didn’t want to hurt her.

I asked for my second break. Still a no. 

Now I was getting scared. I felt it coming. I knew if I set that kiosk on fire I was gonna GET fired. And have to lock myself in my house again. 

I asked for my third break...I fucking implored. 

“Please wait 20 more minutes Nero? Regular break time is around then. I really need you out here.”

I couldn’t think straight.

My gloves were getting hot.

I was supposed to kiss Corinne today.

My gloves were hot.

Corinne’s lips. 

I waited 10 more minutes, then asked if I could go home early. 

“Seriously, Nero? Just wait 10 damn minutes. I promise you can take an hour break, okay?”

My face was covered in sweat. The thoughts swarmed back again. The customers came in droves. My hands were shaking and I was breathing heavily. 

I tried to calm myself with happy thoughts of painting once my shift was over. Then, I started thinking of excuses to not kiss Corinne, and the customers were crowding and making so much noise, and my gloves were starting to burn.

Suddenly, I lost control. Flames flew from both of my hands and body at an unbelievable degree, charring through people and stores. I heard agonizing screams and saw people turning to ash, begging for mercy as their skin melted from them within moments. 

I heard brief shrieks as the flame ate away at them. 

I was horrified as I watched everything burn. It felt like hours but...it was probably 2 or 3 minutes. And for some disgusting reason, I was the only survivor. 

I ran like hell from the rubble...and kept running, and running...and running. I had no intention of seeing my family, or Corinne ever again.

I knew my family would resent me, and I knew I was too much of a monster for Corinne. I hid in an alley for 2 days until there was a thunderstorm. That was my sign that it was time to say goodbye forever.

“Then, I met Yuka in the Obsidian Forest and killed more people, this time soldiers, and this time on purpose. Then...wound up here.” Nero shrugged. “Your turn.”

#ivy's precious OCs #OC: nero ramsay #ivy.doc #writing

[grimeysociety]

can I ask why George has those wires on him? was he a premmie baby?

tw: childbirth

He wasn't premature, though he was a couple days early. Labor was only two hours, which is considered a very fast one. Because he didn't have enough time to prepare so to speak, he was born with fluid on his lungs and hypoglycemic.

It was heartbreaking for me and traumatising because I didn't get to have that important uninterrupted skin to skin contact with him. I only got to hold him for two minutes before they took him away. Then my husband went with him to intensive care while a bunch of doctors and midwives swarmed over me to suture and monitor me.

He spent a day and a half in NICU (and then was on the ward with me) but was otherwise fine. I haemorrhaged and lost 1L/34oz of blood so they gave me fluids but not a transfusion. We were both relatively unscathed though I did have secondary tearing.

The wires were to monitor his heart rate. I took the photo after he had the CPAP machine taken off once his lungs were deemed healthy.

tldr: he was "stunned" and didn't breathe properly at birth and had to stay in hospital longer

#real ife #anonymous #baby grimey

[honeystwiggypeach]

If you don't mind can i request an angst to fluff scenario with shirabu where his newborn baby is very sick and still hasn't able to leave the nicu as a doctor shirabu feels utterly useless and couldn't even bear to look at his baby but seeing his wife visiting their baby everyday and hearing her assurance that it's not his fault and that their baby will be ok he finally decide to visit with his wife as much as possible and apologize to his baby for not being there then gradually their baby show enough signs of improvements to go home and the parents just cry tears of joy 😭

I know this isn't what i usually request and it's a pretty heavy scenario but i just couldn't get it out of my head and shirabu is like perfect for it 😔 you don't have to write it if you don't want to or if it makes you uncomfortable of course!

Bestie I’ll be honest I wasn’t sure if I wanted to write this because I don’t have much experience with the nicu and premie babies and I don’t want to be insensitive because that’s a very touchy subject for lots of people, but I’m hoping this doesn’t come out insensitive (if anyone finds this insensitive pls let me know so I can fix it!!)

Part two here!

Tw: premature birth, nicu stays, premature baby, angst to fluff, guilt, crying, possibly a breach in hippa guide lines(the doctors talk about declining healths of patients), baby comes home for the first time, cursing

He could feel the guilt eating at him everyday. Everyday he’d come home from the hospital to you crying because your precious little girl had been born premature, this meant she would have to stay in the nicu for a while before she could come home to ensure she’d be healthy.

He couldn’t help his own daughter because he’d be a conflict of interest and it only made him feel worse, how was he supposed to trust his colleges with her? He’s heard how they gather around the coffee machine whispering under their breaths about how certain patients were declining in health. Could he ever recover if the subject of their gossip were to become his daughter?

Seeing you come from the nicu everyday a sad smile on your face knowing you’d have to wait until tomorrow to see her again. He couldn’t even bring himself to see her after she was born and he felt like shit because of it, he’d seen her from across the room after you went into labor but that was really it.

Slowly say by day, your crying died down which Shirabu was thankful for, assuming it meant she was doing better. Any free time you’d had was spent telling him about all the little things she’d done during your visit and how they were preparing for her to go home soon!

“Shirabu?” He hears you call tiredly as he sits in the living room quickly wiping at his face, “what’s wrong?” You ask seeing him wipe at his face.

“I just feel like it’s my fault” he breaks down at the question, you quickly move over wrapping your arms around him as he cries into your shoulder.

“Listen, Kenjiro I felt like that at first too, but I talked with the nurse and she said it’s normal to feel that way when this happens but it’s important to know that there wasn’t a thing either of us could have done to prevent it.” He looks up at you with watery eyes as he nods.

“Besides, she’s ok now, they told me she’s going to come home soon as well.”

And you were right, after a few more days, the two of you were leaving the hospital with your little girl, Shirabu didn’t really know how to react, when he’d seen the nurse holding her he wanted to sob, she looked so much different from when he’d seen her in the delivery room, she looked healthier. Maybe that’s what he was scared of seeing her and she’d been worse than before.

After getting through all the paperwork and getting home he was hurrying to set her car seat down asking you if he could hold her.

“She’s your baby to you know” you tell him looking up as you unbuckle her lifting her gently before handing her over.

“Yea…of course I knew that” he replies but it doesn’t have his usual bitter bite to it, it’s softer almost a whisper full of emotions.

If anyone has more experience with the nicu and knows that something is particular wrong(I tried not to be too detailed to avoid this!) pls let me know so I can fix it!!

Anyways let me know if you guys want me to write anything else because I love writing requests!

#anons #tw: nicu #tw premature birth #tw: premature baby #reader insert #x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu parents #haikyuu dads #mom!reader #dad!shirabu #shirabu x reader #shirabu fluff

[iliketopgun]

What I associate some of my Top Gun OCS with

Tw: mentions of trauma, alcohol, tattoos, food, theater and band kids

Lyra is lilies, teaching your dad how to work a phone not knowing he just wants to spend time with you, red lipstick, sarcastic t shirts, softball and cheerleading in highschool

Samantha is lilacs, crawling on your dad during meetings when you were supposed to stay under the desk coloring as a kid, pink lipstick, having ancestral wealth, ballet, debutante classes, cotillion classes, pushing yourself to the limit

Madison is daisies, sharing your room with your two little sisters, "ZOË!", red lipstick, working in the NICU/Labor and delivery, interracial marriage, prom queen and valedictorian in highschool, dancing in the kitchen with a glass of wine

Zoë is tulips, sharing your room with your two older sisters, cookies, "Don't tell mom and dad", living with your oldest sister and her husband, sneaking out, band kid, polished flute

Cassidy is violets, old records on a light blue Victrola record player, soft pink lipstick, blueberries, being a twin, sharing your room with a girl who is your sister by heart and not by blood, losing both parents by age 18, you and your brother growing apart but being right back to laughing and teasing immediately, being a WSO, people who knew Maverick and Goose groaning at you and your pilot because y'all are them reincarnated, cheerleading and student council in highschool

Rosalie is dahlias, being underestimated, having to fight for your spot at the table because of being female and your father's last mission before he died, your call sign being Riveter because of your childhood nickname of Rosie the Riveter, debate team in highschool

Hannah is petunias, two loving parents, a crazy uncle, a cousin you don't see that much, breaking a family pattern, classy clothes, whiskey, taking after your mom, being a theater kid

Henry is his mom's blue bonnets, following your crush to another state, curly hair, able to pull off a mullet, country music, playing football and baseball

Hayley is forget me nots, horses, hats, red lipstick, sharing a room with your sisters, having a mockingbird as a pet, having the cutest southern accent, being to outdrink most of your friends, small tattoos of flowers and family/sentimental stuff, doing cheerleading in highschool

Banner belongs to @/cafekitsune

#lyra chaos mitchell #samantha karma kazansky #madison machado #zoë prescott #cassidy rascal bradshaw #rosalie riveter kerner #hannah kerner #henry cooper #hayley mockingbird prescott #iliketopgunbs #iliketopgunocs #is blank #character association

[broadcsts]

—  🎬  just  announced,  EMIRI ASLAN has  been  cast  as  hayley marshall  in  the  upcoming  the vampire diaries reboot.  the  twenty seven  year  old  is  trending  as  people  are  debating  if  smoke dancing around a street light at 3 am, one leg hanging out the window while gazing at the moon, strong smell of perfume as you walk pass; hand raking through your hair in a calming motion   that  they  are  known  for  is  enough  to  make  them  as  good  as  original.  a  quick  google  search  shows  that  their  fans  call  them  intelligent,  but  internet  trolls  think  they’re  more  compulsive.  i  guess  their  newest  interview  for  variety  where  they  talk  about  the guy she left at the altar will  let  people  to  know  them  better. 

hey GUYSSSS. its me meli hi. emiri's bio is a lot longer than i thought it would be???? but i think it leaves plenty of room for plots! so please plot with my babies i BEG.

november 14, 1999. EMIRI ASLAN was born to local hardware store owner emre aslan and his wife asli aslan. adding to their family of 3 -- which also included emiri's older brother aydin -- they resided in a small seaside town on the east coast. emre and asli came to america from turkey back in the 80s in hopes to live the whole 'american dream'. at first, they were met with a lot of prejudice and ignorance while they lived in charlotte -- but soon they found their community in a smaller town nearby and had since lived in peace with everyone around them. asli worked at the local hospital in the NICU and emre started his hardware store.

(tw: car crash, death) the aslan's were very beloved by everyone around them. emiri and aydin were the best of friends when they were little. as close of siblings as they could be. but, when asli had passed unexpectedly in a car crash, everything started to change. emre started to become distant from his kids. and it was obvious to everyone around them. but in asli's memory, everyone had rallied around them to help emre with his two kiddos (who were only 3 and 10 at the time of her death). unfortunately, only so much can be done for a checked-out parent. aydin started to act out. he couldn't process his emotions on anything going on and it was all too much for him. emiri just became quiet. everyone was doing the best they could, but none of them could handle asli being gone.

(tw: drinking, drugs) 2005 - 2016. as emiri got older, she broke out of her shell again. she started to become the same outgoing little girl she once was. she had gotten her light back. she was doing well in school, she found a passion in theater and film -- and she was more or less popular with kids her age. a very charismatic personality. but her dad slipped into a depression that he never got back out of. and her brother went down an even darker road. her dad and brother had both started drinking and fighting when both of them were home. at some point emiri just stopped going home. staying with friends or neighbors when she could.

(tw: burglary) until one night right before she turned 17. she was home and her dad stumbled in the door. he had been kicked out of a local bar and brought home by another guy who had just gotten there. she wasn't sure who he was so she went to bed and didn't think to intrude on what her dad had going on. her brother was already passed out in the basement so she knew there wasn't going to be any fighting that night. however, later that evening (around 3 am) she was woken up by the sound of a window breaking. at first, she didn't know what it was. but then she heard footsteps. thinking quickly, she hid under her bed.

she remembers seeing 3 sets of boots running through the house. but all she could do was watch helplessly, hoping her brother and father wouldn't wake up for it. there were sounds of breaking glass, rustling; papers being thrown for a few hours but she was never sure if they left or not -- so she stayed there until the next morning before she went to check what had happened. she found her father still passed out on the couch and her brother in the basement. but the whole house was trashed.

after that day, she refused to go back. she grabbed what she could and moved in with a friend a few blocks away. her father didn't fight it. he knew, deep down, this was for the best. her brother ran away after that, though she never knew why. her father started getting clean himself and eventually emiri started to see a positive change.

2017 - 2020. right before graduation, she decided to leave. emiri had big dreams and she was set on actually following through with them. getting to LA was hard enough. but actually being able to support herself while she was there was proving to be harder. she started going to open casting calls basically from day one and her charm got her pretty far. she was what older people would call 'scrappy'. but she also had to do a lot of things she wasn't proud of. including flirting with a local known screen writer. he was up-and-coming and she just wanted nothing more than to be known. after a 6 month fling, he proposed. she loved him too, she thought, by then. she thought she could see a future for the two of them. this was her new life. he was helping her get auditions and even providing for her. he truly loved her. she was safe.

october 9th, 2020. wedding day. it was supposed to be something small. no one from her past was invited, but a few friends she met in LA came in support. it was in a small wooded clearing, almost like a fairytale. gold and white everywhere. but as she stood at the beginning of the aisle looking down at the man waiting for her, she didn't feel like it was right. she didn't end up getting married that day. she wasn't ready and she didn't really think she was in love with him the way he deserved. so, she turned back around and left. by this time she had been in a couple big projects so the wedding was for sure being whispered about. rumors in tabloids swirled but emiri's ex fiance shut everything down. he never said anything bad about her or their breakup and wished her the best. and emiri was left with the guilt and a feeling that she lost something big.

2021 - now. it took her a while, but emiri got back into acting. she started building her portfolio -- even agreeing to work with her ex again a few times before she stepped back from movies for a while and had great success in TV. currently, she was just announced for the role of Hayley Marshall in The Vampire Diaries remake.

#⌗ . don't take these beautiful things that i got . ﹙ emiri ﹚ #2000s.intro

[sparkagrace]

title: ballet shoes author: sparkagrace (@forsureitslove / @ohhsodebonair) word count: 4k rating: T tags: steve/bucky, kid fic, domestic, future fic, light angst, ballet, TW: discussions of weight and references to a NICU stay

“If your daughter is serious about ballet, she needs to be aware of how to present herself. I have told her this myself.” “Wait a second, wait. You spoke to my daughter about her weight?” Bucky can’t see beyond the white fury that’s pounding behind his eyes.  Bucky may have been a brainwashed assassin for decades, but he’s glad that it’s him here and not Steve, because Bucky has learned how to control his emotions in the years since. Steve is six-feet of pure fury when he gets angry. This is a ballet class with parents and little kids around. He can’t yell at this woman even if every fiber of his being is yearning to. Allie would hate him for it and he’s not going to upset Allie, so he counts to ten in his head.

Allie's ballet teacher has some unsolicited advice for Bucky.

Read on AO3

#stucky fic #stevebucky fanfiction #kid fic #domestic stucky #stevebucky fic #al pal and alpine series #my fic #truly sorry to disrupt the slutty chris evans content on your dashes #scheduled

[findopulencerp]

                                    𝖇𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖊𝖓 𝖇𝖆𝖚𝖉𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖊

he was born 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐲-𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 years ago, he is a 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 who lives in 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐲 as a 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐠𝐞. he looks an awful lot like 𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐦𝐚𝐧.

“And when you lie down with wolves, you learn to howl.”

TW: Child abuse, arson, alcoholism, death.

Maybe he was just born unlucky. That’s a thing, right? Fucked stars, Mercury in bullshit, curses from that weird neighbour, wicked stepfamilies with their evil eyes. Dead mothers, damning you from the early grave you probably put them in. Whatever. Bastien came into the world quiet, and cost his already strapped parents a pretty ugly penny in the NICU - a tiny, fragile child, fighting from the start. He never really stopped, but, then again, with the dad he and Joseph had, neither of them got much of a chance at peace and quiet. While his big brother did his best to stand between Bash and the worst of their father's violence, the youngest Baudelaire boy strove to grow up faster, stronger, tougher… enough that he could take care of himself, at least, so that Joseph wouldn't have to catch any more punches on his behalf. If he could just be 

better.Better's tricky, though. Bash dug deep, he really did. But his hands always seemed to come up empty. At school, at home, on the field. In general. And then, thanks to Joe - what can’t he thank Joseph for, in the end - Bash got another shot. In Opulence. That was where Joe and Carina were going to bring their growing family up, and Bash, still very much a kid himself, was coming with. Of course he was. Like he had any reason to stay behind, taking shit from the old man. 

But that new start in Opulence began to sour, fast. The deep, dark underbelly of the place was real deep and dark indeed, and the dangers of the supernatural world Bash quickly stumbled into didn’t do shit to keep him on the straight and narrow. If anything, the unreality of running around with werewolves, vampires, and whoever else only made it easier to slip off the rails. He might've been charming, when he wanted. Could be clever if he bothered to put his mind to something. Mostly, he seemed hellbent on fucking around and finding out. Nobody but the kindest of their new neighbours - the very, very kindest - would've said they had high hopes for Joseph's brother. If they had any hopes, at all. That said, nobody, especially not the kids, could’ve argued that their uncle wasn’t a hell of a good time. Always a riot, Bash Baudelaire. Or, at least, a spree of mostly petty crime ending in some casual arson. Gotta learn your own lessons, make your own fun, right? Something like that.

The longer Roman was away on duty, the further he spiraled into his own damage on leave, the wilder Bash became. He’d dropped out - or, depending on who you asked, was kicked out - of school well before graduation, which was well after he’d crammed what few things he had into a bag and started couchsurfing his way out of the Baudelaire house, around Opulence. He hadn’t waited for Carina to tell him to go, bad influence that he was clearly turning out to be. He’d manage, on his own. He just had to. This was where Joe and the kids were, so. 

So nothing changed. Family was what you made it, yeah? Bash made the most of his big brother’s kids. All smiles and uncle-ish excitement, he’d appear with shockingly expensive presents, or pick up the nieces and nephews from school for some impromptu, awesome roadtrip. His sister-in-law’s understandable glares weren’t nearly enough to keep him away, not so long as those kids were happy. That’s all he wanted. To see his brother’s family as happy as theirs could’ve been. If their mom hadn’t died. If their dad hadn’t decided to drown his problems, and, failing that, to take them out on his children. 

Funny, how history repeats itself. Or echoes, at least. 

Not actually funny, though. Before it all went really to hell, though, Bash enlisted the second he could - following Roman, naturally. Seventeen and in this, at least, naive, he was just so sure he’d find his big brother and prove that he could handle it, whatever it might be, at last. That wasn’t how things went, though. Of course not. He never found Roman, wherever the hell he kept going. His officers denied any knowledge of a Joseph Baudelaire, or a Roman Baudelaire. But Bash understood, at least. More and more, he understood why his brother came home only to find some drunken way to leave again. Always quick to pick up on shit when he applied himself, Bash spent most of his short-lived military career as a medic - and more and more of it detained for some offense or other as his hope of reconnecting with his brother, being there for him, faded away. Soon enough, he was dishonourably discharged… and somebody else’s problem, again. 

Bash quickly made himself a problem for a lot of somebodies, actually. Dropout, juvenile offender, and unlucky sonofabitch that he was, he fell back in with Opulence’s usual suspects. So long as he stuck around that tended to go pretty damn well for him. But things going well for Bash generally means somebody’s getting fucked over, and most of the somebodies in Opulence could rip him in half about it, or had people who saw to that sort of thing for them. Good sense sent him hightailing it out of town now and then, but he’d always find some way to make ends meet. Eventually - inevitably, most would mutter - he found himself in a county cell, where he paced through his own screw-ups and counted the days. Just unlucky, right. Other people got away with worse, all the damn time. Not a Baudelaire. 

When Bash smiled his way to a little parole and got back to Opulence, turns out - who’d have thunk - that shit just kept happening while he was gone. Real shit. Carina had sent Roman packing. For good fucking reason. A reason so good Bash could hardly believe it. He had to find Joe, had to help; only, he didn’t know where to start. And money, which any dedicated cross-country attempt to hunt somebody down does need, was something of an issue. So Bash found some. In the bad old ways. 

Where Roman went, Bash followed, as always. Or tried to, anyway. Ever since his big brother settled in town again, Opulence has, once more, become Bash’s sort-of home. He’s been slinking in and out of the place regularly for a decade now. Or was, before following a job elsewhere landed him in the usual sort of shit and another stint in jail. Those Baudelaire boys, they come back like cats. Or wolves. Yeah, Bash is well aware of what Roman’s turned into - and he’s wanted in, ever since. Typical kid brother, tagging along straight to hell. Maybe this time’ll go the same as all the others, but Bash, he’s feeling lucky lately. Go figure.

“what power did he attain when settling in opulence?”

Finally, Bash Baudelaire knows what it’s like to have fortune smile his way. He’s been weirdly lucky whenever he's passed through town, especially when it counts most. It just seems like he’s always in the right place at the right time, in Opulence… for something, anyway. Is it good luck, exactly, that he keeps winding up embroiled in the local supernatural underground? Maybe not, but. He’ll take it.

this character is…retired

#supernatural rp #oc rp #town rp #mature rp #horror rp #retired

[justanothernicunurse]

Writing about my day yesterday at work and I want to preface it by saying I know some it may come across as judgemental and I don't intend that but I also know some of these beliefs and ethical dilemmas are things many nurses and health care providers experience. Also TW for talk of death

Yesterday was "one of those days" from start to finish. I noticed when I got there one of the dayshift nurses was already there running around and she said she had been there since 615 because the night charge sent an SOS and asked her to come in early.

They told us in huddle that they delivered micropreemie twins and one had done OK and was sent to our bigger level 4 NICU hospital and the other had died. The reality was this baby had needed extensive resescitation and the doctors advised the parents to make them comfort measures only given the severity of the situation. So that baby was staying near their mom instead of coming up to the NICU. The baby was on a vent so was being kept alive ny machines and they werent going to be doing any more measures for them. They also told us downstairs, our L&D unit was busy and there were lots of preemies/multiples/ c-sections.

Things changed kind of quickly though because the twin that was originally downstairs with their mom got transfered to the NICU because the family decided they wanted to do everything to save them. Even though me and my preceptor were first admit, they ultimately had another nurse take this baby because there was another admission coming at the same time that they thought would be a better admission for me.

Here's where I want to be careful with my own judgement and thoughts because I can only imagine being in that position and dealing with all of that (x2), but I also have the perspective of knowing what the quality of life for these babies/kids is when they are kept alive on machines and how much suffering that leads to for them and their families. Everyone wants to save babies and no one will easily throw in the towel for them, especially a NICU team so for them to be saying this baby is suffering and will not have a good quality of life and will ultimately die a painful death speaks volumes. I wish families could and would listen because it's not fair to the poor babies. I also dont fault the families, although its hard to manage as the care team having to do things that feel so ethically wrong, are causing pain and suffering to little babies who dont deserve that.

We do the best we can, but we can't save them all. Severe brain bleeds, HIE, respiratory distress, needing multiple rounds of CPR...the list goes on. That kind of situation will not get better or lead to any quality of life. It's so hard, for everyone involved. This family ultimately wanted to transfer the baby to the level 4 NICU to keep trying to save them. I'm talking extreme measures and surgeries...and so much suffering for a likely awful, painful, extreme outcome.

At the same time we got our admission who was a little older but still a young preemie. They came up and it was immediately a disaster. They ended up intubated, not tolerating the vent well at all and needing umbilical lines all at once. It was pure chaos. I tried to help the most I could but was pretty useless. I mostly observed and tried to learn what I could while staying out of thr way. The only positive was that the team was amazing. We had like 5 to 6 nurses just helping us out, then all the residents, 2 neonatologists, and a few NPs.

The baby was not stable and it was clear they needed to be transferred to the bigger level 4 hospital too. Transport got there relatively quick while the team had to put in a chest tube. We were also giving blood, meds, getting the baby on the right vent and vent settings, placing lines, running fluids. It was about 2.5 hours from the time they got to the unit to when the transport team had to literally run out with them to get to the ambulance. I felt so bad for the father who came up and was watching a lot of the work we (mostly the amazing transport team) was doing and then watched them run out with his baby. I also was so sad for the mother as she was in surgery and recovery and didn't even know they had to transfer the baby.

After it all, my preceptor and I debriefed and she answered all my questions because obviously that was not happening in the moment as we were just trying to keep the baby ok and help the team. We didn't eat lunch until like 4 pm. I felt like I neglected my other babies for a bit but it slowed down and they had families around so that was good.

Things settled for a bit but then another transport team came for the other baby. Then right before shift change we got another admission. At that point there was only one resident left for the day but thankfully this baby was stable enough. So there were like 5 nurses just getting everything done for this baby before nightshift came in. I felt much more useful with this admission as I'm definitely learning the routine with admissions and knowing where and how I can help.

All to say, it was a very difficult emotional and long exhausting day. These days are tough, but can also be envigorating and remind me that I'm where I want to and love being. I think I really like this level of acuity because there's quite a bit of high acuity but it's not crazy all day everyday and there's enough time to snuggle babies, get close to families and do all of the "extra" stuff too. We're getting nitric vents soon so we'll start keeping much sicker babies too.

#nurblr #pediatric nursing #nicu #nicu nurse #nursing

[devilsgatewayhq]

Name: Cole Monroe Age: 38 Occupation: Mechanic Time living in Tonopah: 22 years Neighborhood: Webster Village Gang Affiliation: Sons of Silence - President Face Claim: Charlie Hunnam

Biography: (tw: death/murder )

Diana Monroe was a Tonopah Falls native who made her living working at the local gentlemen’s club. She was especially known for her Marilyn Monroe act, a show that quickly earned the attention of none other than Jeffrey Decker. It didn’t take long for them to engage in a sexual relationship behind his family’s back and well out of the public eye. About six months into their affair, a positive pregnancy test popped the picture-perfect bubble Diana thought she’d been living in. As expected, Jeffrey was furious and more concerned about his public image than the child she was carrying. Immediately, and without a second thought, he demanded that Diana get an abortion– even if he had to pay for it, but she refused. And so he made her go away.

Packing every bit of what she owned, which admittedly wasn’t very much, Diana left her home, her brother Michael, and everything she’d ever known just to keep Jeffrey’s threats at bay. She eventually settled in Knoxville, Tennessee, and soon fell into the same old habits she couldn’t outrun no matter how far she strayed from Tonopah Falls. Cole Michael Monroe was born on April 14, 1985– a month and a half early and tweaking on his mother’s cocaine. Not expected to survive, Cole spent the next several weeks in the NICU, undergoing a number of different surgeries and fighting for his life until he was healthy enough for discharge. He mostly raised himself. Diana was either too busy, too high, or too depressed to be the mother Cole needed her to be, but it did little to quell his love for her. Day after day, he cared for his mother and tended to her more than she ever did for him.

Cole stayed in and out of trouble all throughout his childhood and early teens. He often got kicked out of school, even had a couple stints in juvenile detention. But his world stopped on its axis when, at fifteen years old, he found his mother dead in their mobile home following a heroin overdose. After Diana’s death, Cole was directed to the next of kin– his uncle, Michael Monroe. Michael and his wife, Laura, willingly took Cole in and brought him back to Tonopah Falls to live with them. Michael, a founding member of the Sons of Silence and owner of Reaper Crew Auto, quickly indoctrinated Cole and the young teen fell in love with club life almost instantly.

He started out as a hangaround then began prospecting at eighteen. At nineteen years old, Cole patched in as a member of the Sons of Silence and never looked back. Cole got into some trouble at twenty-six years old. He was arrested for attempted murder and aggravated assault, and handed a ten year prison sentence after nearly beating to death the abusive ex-boyfriend of a close friend. Prison took a toll on Cole. Not only was his uncle killed in a driveby shooting during that time, but the injuries Cole sustained in prison and the amount of hours he spent in solitary confinement began to wear on him.

After five years inside, Cole was released on parole at thirty-one years old. He spent the better part of the next year trying to piece his life back together and pick up where he left off. A few years later, the SOS fell into turmoil, with their president colluding behind the club’s back with Los Santos to line his pockets with cash. Once discovered, the former president was immediately removed and dealt with, and the club was left at a crossroads. They turned to Cole for guidance with their future hanging in the balance. On the eve of his thirty-fifth birthday, he was voted in as the new president of the Sons of Silence. Since then, he’s been working hard to put the club first and stay on top of the ever-present feud between the Sons and Los Santos.

Headcanons:

He struggles with sleep and will frequently end up at Stargazing Station just to pass the time and pick out various constellations. On that note, he wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up– obviously, that didn’t happen.

In his spare time, Cole is a boxer and will frequently fight at the local gym.

He loves peppermints and hates anything lemon flavored.

#affiliation: sons of silence. #tv character. #gender: man.

[britswriting]

Unbroken (42)

5272 Written on: June 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th 2022 Reminder that chapter 43 is the last chapter. Presave book 2 on Wattpad! - will also be posted here

Unbroken Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Desire - Unbroken book 2 - wattpad

TW: Talk of NICU Stay, struggles with breastfeeding, baby on oxygen

I don't know how to put this TW without telling you, Leigh struggles with the idea of having the baby. I want to put this as a TW because it can be. She feels scared, nervous and not good enough and has thoughts of giving away her baby. Please, read with caution. If this is something that would bother you, skip the conversation with her mom towards the end.

*Leighton's POV*

I feel like everyone paints pregnancy to be this glamorous, joyful event... when in reality it was one of the worst things I've been through.

No one talks about how having a baby affects you. They just show how cute the baby is and how happy they are... so why was I crying in the bathroom as I tried to pee?

It is currently 8:20pm on November 25th 2020, my beautiful baby girl has been in this world for 7 hours... and when I woke up about an hour ago, I found out the harsh news that she had been transferred to the NICU.

No one prepares you for that.

I mean, how do you prepare to tell a new mom that their baby is on oxygen?

My whole labor was a blur. I don't remember too much... but I think it's because of the amount of pain I was in now.

My stomach hurt a lot after being pressed on by the nurses, and my vagina felt like it had been ripped in half. My back, shoulders and lower stomach aches and my thighs felt fatigued.

I had to have help to walk to the bathroom, and I was taught how to clean myself due to the stitches since I did in fact tear.

It was a 2nd degree tear, which meant I had some pretty fun stitches, hence me crying whilst trying to pee.

I got the catheter out about an hour ago, and I always heard that the first time peeing after giving birth was weird and terrifying, but no one warned me that it stings really bad if you have stitches.

If that doesn't make having a baby sound fun, want to know what will?

The really sexy after labor diaper I have to wear that had a pretty thick pad attached to it.

Why, you ask?

Because I'm bleeding like a mofo.

I've never bled so hard in my fucking life.

Now I know I seem to be constantly complaining.... But imagine wearing an adult diaper with a thick pad whilst you're on your heaviest period day ever in history.... And you have stitches on your vagina and you can't even snuggle your baby.

To make matters worse, when I walked, I limped. And I still looked like I was 7 months pregnant.

Sounds fun, right?

Yeah.

"Ms. Fox? Is everything okay?" An on call nurse asked and I sighed, slowly opening the door.

"When can I see my baby?" I asked, letting her help me back to my bed.

There was a new puppy pad placed on it and my water bottle had been filled.

I was waiting for Sam to bring me food since I had slept for quite a few hours after labor.

My family wasn't coming till tomorrow since I had passed out, and the baby wasn't even here.

"I don't know" she said softly and I bit my lower lip, trying not to cry as I carefully sat down.

I got moved to a recovery room, and I just stared at the empty bassinet.

All I could think about is how I wanted to give my little girl up... and how if I had done that, I would be sitting here... in this room.. doing the exact same thing as I am now.. just I wouldn't have a baby.

She'd be someone else's pride and joy.

She wouldn't have been placed on my chest, she would've been placed on her adoptive parents...

I felt weird seeing it empty.

When I woke up in the new room and saw the empty bassinet, I panicked.. but now all I could think about was the what if's or the choices I almost made..

Everything could've been so much different now.

I laid in my bed crying after the nurse had left, not hearing Sam enter my room.

"Leigh? I have your food" Sam said softly

"Thank you" I whispered, wiping my eyes.

"Do you want it now?" He asked and I nodded, not having had a proper meal in days.

Sam laid it out on the tray next to me, my eyes locked on the bassinet.

"Do you... do you guys... do you guys know how much.. how much she.. she.. she.. weighs?" I asked, struggling to breathe as my throat closed up, tears making my vision blurry.

"Um... I don't remember exactly. I think it was like 4 or 5 pounds?" Sam said and I nodded slowly.

"They won't... they won't tell me anything" I whimpered, turning to face him with tear filled eyes. "I'm.. I'm missing so much.. so..so..so..much" I expressed quietly, a tear spilling over and rolling down my face, dripping off my jaw.

"Gabe is down there with her. Have you told anyone the name?" He asked and I shook my head, my hands shaking as I reached for the french fries. "Will you tell me her name?" He asked, sounding hopeful.

"I want.. I have someone I want to be the first to know, sorry" I apologized, feeling another tear fall down my damp cheek.

Sam hung out with me as I waited for Intel on my baby. Eventually Emily came in to check on me and as she took vitals, I asked her the stats.

"She's quite small Leigh. She was 5 pounds 13 ounces, 18 inches long. Her head circumference is a little over 12 inches. She's small, but mighty Leighton. She's gorgeous. Right now they're monitoring her to make sure she's okay" Emily explained and I nodded, frowning.

"What's wrong with my baby? Emily, please" I whined, my heart aching to not have her in the room with me.

Emily sighed, side glancing at Sam. "You fell asleep birthing the placenta.. and after she cried.. she somehow got a lot of fluid in her throat... and was struggling to breathe. So now she's on monitors and oxygen as we try and make sure everything is okay. Once she's out of the NICU, she will either come back here or go to the nursery. I know it sounds scary, but she's doing really well" Emily tried to reassure as the tears fell down my face yet again.

God I was sick of crying.

"You said... you said Gabe was there?" I asked and she nodded, placing the black cuff on my bicep. "How.. how is he?"

"Better after his IV drop. He was dehydrated apparently. I'm not too sure what happened since I was focused on you and the baby. I'd have to look at his chart and medical care... but he's down there with your girl. You're one lucky girl Leighton. Not because of the shitty scenario you are in, but because you're not in this shitty scenario alone" She gave me a small smile, marking my read in her chart.

"Has she.. been fed?" I asked and Emily gave me a sympathetic nod. "How.. how did they.. how did they feed her?" I questioned, my voice cracking in emotional pain.

"They gave her donor milk off a spoon. She's struggling to suck.. so we're using an infant spoon. Someone should be in to help you with breastfeeding and pumping. If you pump they'll give her your milk" Emily said and I stayed quiet, quietly crying as I thought about all of these people who got to do my firsts.

The first feeding, the first diaper change, the first swaddle, the first cradle.... I was missing everything.

Not to mention she had donor milk. Her first milk wasn't even mine..

Emily left and I didn't touch my food, not bothering to quiet my sobs as I let my emotional turmoil pour out of me.

"Leigh she's okay" Sam reassured me, but I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut to try and reduce the brightness in the room.

"But I'm not! I'm not okay!" I cried, my hands covering my face.

I felt Sam's arms wrap around me, his head resting on top of mine.

"Talk to me Leigh" He said softly and I shook my head, rubbing my eyes. "Leigh, you just had a baby less than 12 hours ago. It's okay" He tried to reassure me but I shook my head again.

"No it's not! I'm missing everything!" I cried and I heard him sigh. "I'm not just missing everything with my baby... but.. but my life!" I blubbered, Sam rubbing my back. "I can't even see her.. I can't.. I can't.. I can't see her!" I sobbed.

"Do you want me to ask if you can go see her?" He asked and I nodded, wiping at my eyes.

I sat there, crying and bleeding, feeling my stomach turn as my mind raced, waiting for Sam to come back.

It had been about 15 minutes before a male nurse came in with Sam and a wheelchair.

"I can let you visit her for a little bit. I want you to know that she has an oxygen tube in her nose that wraps up and is attached to a little hat on her head so it doesn't fall off. I'm telling you this, so you're prepared to see your baby with some cords on her face and chest. Know that she's doing really well, and this isn't forever, it's just for now" He gave me a small smile, helping me carefully sit down on the pillow in the wheelchair.

When we got to the NICU after a semi painful wheelchair ride, I took a deep breath when I saw Gabriel standing in front of an incubator.

"How is she?" I asked, Gabe turning around.

"She's gorgeous Leigh. We have a tiny little miracle now" He smiled, looking back down at our baby.

"How bad is it? The tubes I mean"

"It's.. weird" He confessed and I nodded, letting the nurse bring me closer.

"Oh my sweet girl" I whispered, my eyes landing on her little helpless body.

"She's so small" I spoke quietly, a tear falling down my face as I scanned the cords connected to her. "My baby.. my... my.. my baby is.. she's.. she's.. oh my god" I blubbered, my throat closing as I lost the words to explain the sight of seeing things connected to her.

"She's a fighter Leigh" Gabriel reminded me and I nodded, straining my neck a little to look at her.

"Look Leighton... the first thing to ever have her name on it" Gabe said, showing me the incubator card that was on the side of the cubby for the files.

"We still need to figure out whose last name she's getting" I muttered, smiling slightly at seeing her name written out in messy handwriting.

"I thought we agreed she'd have my last name?" Gabe asked and I mentally sighed, my eyes locked on my beautiful baby girl.

"That was before you decided you were going to up and move to New York after January" I snapped, and he sighed.

"Leigh-"

"Leave me alone" I grumbled, not wanting to have this conversation right now. "How long does she have to stay like this?" I asked the NICU nurse and she gave me a small sympathetic smile.

"Until her levels even out. Normal babies her size get off of it in a few days. Some a few hours. It all depends"

"What are these for?" I asked, pointing to the little patches on her chest.

"We're monitoring her heart and breathing" She explained and I nodded.

"Can I.. Can I hold her?" I asked and she nodded.

"Just be careful of the cords" She noted, opening the side of the baby bassinet.

"Do you want a supportive pillow?" She asked and I nodded, letting her place one on my lap.

She placed my baby girl into my arms and the second the weight was against my hands, I couldn't stop the tears or the smile as I rubbed my finger against her cheek.

"Hey baby girl" I whispered, feeling kind of giddy.

"Look up Leigh" Gabe said and when I did, I saw he was taking a photo.

We took a few photos of us with her, the NICU nurse taking one of Gabe and I with her.

"She looks just like you as a baby" Gabe breathed out and I smiled, seeing the recognizable features.

"I wonder what eye color she has. I know they change as they mature" I spoke my thoughts aloud.

"I bet she'll look just like you" He kissed the top of my head, his hand reaching down and lightly rubbing her arm.

"I hope she's nothing like me" I muttered.

"Well I hope she's your carbon copy"

~

"Where's my grand baby!" My mom asked, walking in the room with a gift bag.

"She's having her tests done" I informed, giving my family a small hello.

It was the next morning and I had spent that night worrying about my baby, so I'm sure the bags under my eyes were really cute.

Something I never thought about was how I would constantly jolt awake, panicking that my baby was hungry, or needed a diaper change, or even that they had stopped breathing.

I was afraid.

To make matters worse, she spent the night in the NICU and was supposed to spend all day up in my room with me if she passed her tests, and the waiting was agony.

"What tests?" She asked, placing a piece of her pumpkin bars in front of me.

"Awe thank you! And her hearing, eye and reflex texts. I have a consultation with a lactation person soon to talk about breastfeeding and such" I informed, happily digging into the homemade dessert.

"How has recovery been? You're being treated right here, right?" She asked and I nodded.

"Did you bleed really heavily with your pregnancies?" I asked her, noticing Lexi was carrying a bag. "What's that?"

"For the baby, don't worry about it" She gave me a look, setting the bag next to the sink.

"I bled pretty bad with you kids. Why? Is it bad?" She asked and I nodded quickly.

"It's so bad! It's like the worst period in my life, and I heard that when you breastfeed, that you get the worst fucking cramps! Why did you guys allow me to have a baby" I pouted, setting down my plastic fork.

"If I had it my way, you wouldn't have ever left our house" Dad spoke up, reaching for my water bottle to fill it.

I talked to my family about my labor and delivery, my dad filling in the spots that were a little blurry, when there was a soft knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called, trying to see who it was.

"Hey momma!" A woman's voice called out, and I grinned, watching my baby get closer to me.

"She's in a normal bassinet!" I spoke loudly, and the younger nurse nodded.

"She passed all her tests, and if you notice... she's off her oxygen right now. She still has monitors. This little machine has her stats" She pointed to a tiny little device in the crib. "Please keep in mind that she might go back on soon. We are trying to see how she does on her own. Our lactation consultant will be here soon, along with our on-call pediatrician" She said and I nodded, wanting to hold my baby so bad.

"Introduce me to my first grand baby! It's a girl?!" My mom said excitedly and I nodded.

"Can someone hand me her?" I asked, not being able to move, afraid of leaking.

The nurse carefully handed me my baby girl and I saw my sister had her phone pointed at us.

"Momma... meet Gemma" I grinned, my eyes teary.

My mom gasped, her eyes lighting up in excitement and shock.

"Leighton Rae! You didn't!" She yelled, making the baby jump and then cry. "I'm sorry!" She quickly apologized and naturally I started to bounce her a little, trying to calm her down.

It took a few minutes, but she eventually lulled herself back to sleep.

I looked up at my mom, and she had tears falling down her face.

"I can't believe... Leigh" She whined and I giggled.

"I wanted her to carry your legacy.. and you're both miracles in my life. I wouldn't change her name for the world" I smiled and she walked over, whipping away her tears, hugging me.

"Does she have a middle name?" My mom asked and I nodded, my mom's hand caressing Gemma.

"Gemma Lorraine" I announced, falling more in love with my baby the longer I stared at her.

"That's a gorgeous name Leigh, is Lorraine to anything specific?" She asked and I nodded.

"Stephen gave Bridgette the middle name Lorraine after his mother. Gabe wanted his mom connected to Gemma as well, and I thought having Lorraine would be perfect, plus it's kind of a head nod to Stephen" I explained, my sister now fussing over my baby.

"So where are all the people that are normally attached at your hip?" My dad asked, making me laugh.

"Gabe, Chase and Penny went to go pick out some preemie outfits for her, Sam and Kat said they were coming later, and I don't know where Colby went"

Gemma got passed around to my family members, taking different photos with them as I waited for Aaliyah to get here with her camera, the lactation consultation came in.

"Good afternoon! I'm a Hannah Dodger and I'd like to just say a quick congratulations before we get started!" She smiled at us, walking over towards the sink to wash her hands.

I thanked her, trying to calm down my crying baby.

"Just to give a quick run down, we are going to practice breastfeeding and positions, so if you're uncomfortable having anyone in this room see your breasts and or if they are, I'd like to kindly ask you to step out of the room for a little while"

My dad stepped out which made me laugh, but I understood why.

"How do I calm her? I don't.. she won't stop crying" I asked, still bouncing her softly and trying to change positions.

"I'm thinking she's hungry, which is good for us. That being said, let's just get started and I will answer questions along the way! My first question is have you ever breastfed before?" She asked and I shook my head.

"Can you pull down the dressing gown please, let's see this little cutie. Hi baby girl, aren't you just adorable. Oh she has the sweetest face! I've had a lot of boy babies lately and they're cute and all.. but I forgot how precious little girls look!" Hannah cooed, smiling down at Gemma.

I pulled down my dressing gown and undid the nursing bra, my breast now on show for this stranger.

"Okay, do what your natural instinct is, and if I need to fix something I can" She gave me a smile and I nodded, Gemma's crying calming down as I brought her to my breast.

"She should just.. latch.. right?" I asked and Hannah was watching Gemma.

"Sometimes. Has your milk come in?" She asked and I shrugged.

"How would I know? I had sore boobs my whole pregnancy, and I thought the milk was going to come in sooner than the birth.. but I don't know"

"I'm going to place my hand on your boob and squeeze gently. I want to see if anything comes out, okay?" She asked and I nodded, still supporting Gemma's weight in my hands.

It was weird to have her squeeze my boob, but when pale yellow leaked out, I think we all let out a sigh of relief.

"This is colostrum. It's good for the baby. You're going to get colostrum before the mature white milk comes in. Don't be scared because it's yellow" She let out a breathy laugh.

I nodded, my eyes watching Gemma.

"Okay, nudge her cheek gently towards the nipple. You can lightly place your finger under the jaw to make a suggestive movement of latching. Kind of guide her towards you" Hannah explained and I nodded, removing my hand from under Gemma's butt to lightly nudge her cheek, listening to her soft whimpers.

We spent the next hour trying to get her to latch, but because of her sucking problem, Hannah had me pump whilst we gave her even more donor milk off a infant spoon.

No one prepares you for the pain that comes from not being able to give your baby what it needs.

I can't feed her.

She's getting someone else's milk off a spoon, and everyone acts like that's okay!

No, I don't want my baby to starve.. and I'm grateful to the woman who donated her milk so my baby could eat... but it felt like a knife going through my chest as I watched the other woman's breast milk be placed in my babies mouth for over half an hour.

For half an hour I had to spoon feed my baby someone's milk, and it killed me.

"Leigh-"

"No! I can't! I can't do this! I.. I.. mom I can't!" I cried, my hands covering my face and then resting against my face at my jaw.

"Leighton Rae Fox, stop it right now! That baby needs you! You love her and you know it!"  

"I.. I love her.. I do.. but mom.. I can't. She's not mine. She can't be! I can't do this.. I can't.. I can't... mom I can't! I need to.. I have to.. mom, please!" I cried, no.. sobbed.. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.. and all I could think about is how;

She's not mine.

"Leigh-"

"Momma she's.. she's too good for me. She deserves better! I can't even fucking feed her! I.. she's.. she's.. she's in the.. in the... in the NICU.. with cords.. and machines.. and.. and.. mom!" I sobbed my body shaking.

"Leighton Rae, look at me. Look at me now" She said sternly, her hand holding mine as she crouched in front of me. "You will not give up on this child. This is your child. She needs you. You're her mom. You are all she wants. She doesn't want some stranger.. She wants her momma. How would you feel if I gave you away? If I decided that I couldn't do this. You would not be sitting here, crying, about not being able to feed her, if you didn't want her. She's perfect baby. Absolutely perfect and she won't be connected to cords forever Leigh. Don't listen to that scared little girl in your head. She has no idea how strong you truly are. I love you so much baby girl. You're my ray of sunshine! You may be twenty one, but you've already achieved so much! Everyone has their highs and their lows Leigh.. but you've never given up. You fight. You're a fighter. It's okay to be tired. To want a break.. but you have to get back up. She's going to make it through this and everything will work out! Don't you dare give up on this little girl because you're afraid"

"What if.. what if I can't? I don't.. I don't want her taken away" I hiccupped, wiping at my face. "Mom.. I'm alone. I'm alone! I.. he's leaving mom. He's going.. he's going away.. I can't.. mom I can't-" I cried and she shushed me, rubbing my hand.

"You're never alone. What did you tell me when I found out I had cancer Leigh?" She asked and I looked over at her, confused.

"Uh.. I uh.. um.. I said.. I said.. you and me.. till.. till the end.. and I... and I.. I.. I meant it" I breathed out, sniffling.

"Yeah, and look at us now baby. You and me till the end. I want my beautiful granddaughter in this pack. Us girls got to stick together. So what if you can't pay your bills. Live with your dad and I. So what if you can't buy her fancy things. Love means more than material items Leigh. You need to stop acting like independence is being on your own. Being independent means so much more than living alone. It means knowing when to ask for help, and when to accept it. Independence doesn't mean alone. It means being there. For your friends, family.. your daughter. Knowing when to put yourself first, when to put your daughter first. It's being an adult Leigh. It's accepting the downfalls, but wanting to fix them. You can be poor and living in your parents basement.. but if you're actively trying to change it.. to make you happy.. then it's good enough. If you're happy living in our house, it's good enough. If you're happy on your own.. it's good enough. If you're happy living with your friends.. it's good enough. You need to stop having unrealistic ideas of independence. Don't shove people away because you're scared. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I didn't cut out my family. I spent every waking minute with them. Your baby girl needs you Leigh. She doesn't need a mom who can buy her fancy dresses. She doesn't need a mom who can take her on vacations on her birthday. She needs a mom who she can come running to crying, spill her guts out, and know no matter what, she's loved. She needs a mom who can sing her to sleep when she's scared. Who will check for monsters under her bed, who will teach her math at the dining room table.. she needs people who love her, Leigh, and no matter if you keep her, or give her away.. no one will love her the way you love her. No one will love her the way you can, and we both know you can do this. You're scared, you're frustrated and tired, you want a break.. I know.. but soak it in Leigh. Soak in these moments with her. The milestones of she was off her oxygen tank for an hour. She was sleeping on your chest for a while. Take a deep breath.. and accept the situation. Believe in yourself. You have a lifetime to make mistakes.. but please Leigh.. don't let this be one of them"

"She's not a mistake. I'm just.. I can't feed her mom. I can't! She.. she won't latch! She can't suck! When I pumped, my milk supply was low, and I know Hannah said that when I'm around my baby more, that it will get better.... but my boobs are sore and for what?! Low fucking milk?! Gabriel is leaving me to go to New York, and I'm going to leave this hospital and be all alone again! I'm doing this alone mom! It's my worst fucking fear! And do you want to know what scares me the most?! I want nothing more right now than to take a substance to forget this pain. To calm my nerves. To breathe. It's like finding out you have cancer all over again! I can't do it mom! I can't.. she.. she deserves better.. and if loving my... loving my baby means.. means doing the best for her.... is a drug addict mother with a shit load of issues and a father abandoning her really the best? Someone can give her so much more than I can mom. She deserves more. She deserves better! She deserves a bright future.. and we don't.. we don't know that.. that it's with me! We don't! I can't be selfish mom! I can't.. I.. mom she deserves better" My voice cracked, my mom and I both crying.

"Leigh.. if you thought you didn't want her.. why did you name her after me?" She asked and my heart dropped.

"I... she's a miracle. She.. she deserved a name.. a strong.. loving.. name.. and.. you're.. you're beating cancer mom.. you're doing it. I wanted her.. I wanted her to have your name. To.. to carry your legacy.."

"So what you're telling me is that she does indeed have a bright future? She's going places?" Mom asked and I nodded, wiping my tears away.

"Of course.. she's my baby girl" I whispered, smiling softly.

"That's right Leighton. She's your baby girl, so act like it. Don't let her down. Don't give up on her because you're scared! Don't do that to her!"

"But.. he's leaving mom. He won't.. he won't admit it.. that he's leaving us in January.. but he is! He won't be here for her mom! She deserves two.. two parents!"

"Leighton, she has more than two parents. Don't think we've missed it. The amount of people that are here, caring for you and her. Colby hasn't left your side during your whole labor. Sam has brought you all sorts of food and sat by your side, comforting you. Katrina has come in and spent time with you. Getting your mind off Gemma being in the nursery NICU.. and Aaliyah.. she's spent every waking minute texting you. So what Gabriel is leaving to go to New York. You have so many people here. That little girl is going to grow up so loved and have the best aunt and uncles... and hey, she won't remember him being gone. If he comes back.. and is ready to do this after putting his life first.. you can talk about what the plan is then.. but right now, in this very moment.. We have a here and now plan. That plan is being with your friends and family, and learning how to care for a newborn. Don't tell your dad I said this, but Gabe can fuck himself. If he wants to run off to New York and go to school, that's his problem. That just means you're stronger than anyone could imagine, and you're going to do a damn good job loving this baby girl. It's okay to make mistakes, and you know what, maybe one day he will kick himself for leaving his baby girl.. but right now Leigh.. right now he's sitting down in that NICU, holding her, being there for her.. loving her. Don't let his choices paint him as the villain in your daughter's story. He loves her very much.. and you're both so young Leigh. It's scary.. I know it's scary.. but you're not alone. That's your true fear isn't it Leighton? Being alone?" She asked and I nodded slowly. "Don't let him cloud your vision. You and I both know you're not alone" She gave me a look and I let out a breathy laugh, nodding as I continued to clean up the stray tears.

"It takes a village.. right?" I joked, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"And you've got one hell of a village Leighton"

* * * *

Written on: June 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th 2022

Word Count:  5272

Part Forty Three - final part 

#colbybrock #samgolbach #samandcolby #colby brock fanfic #colbybrockimagine #wattpad #katrina stuart

[tonopahfallshq]

Name: Cole Monroe Age: 37 Occupation: Mechanic Time living in Tonopah: 22 years Neighborhood: Webster Village Gang Affiliation: Sons of Silence - President Face Claim: Charlie Hunnam

Biography: (tw: death/murder )

Diana Monroe was a Tonopah Falls native who made her living working at Lust Gentlemen’s Club. She was especially known for her Marilyn Monroe act, a show that quickly earned the attention of none other than Jeffrey Decker. It didn’t take long for them to engage in a sexual relationship behind his family’s back and well out of the public eye. About six months into their affair, a positive pregnancy test popped the picture perfect bubble Diana thought she’d been living in. As expected, Jeffrey was furious and more concerned about his public image than the child she was carrying. Immediately, and without a second thought, he demanded that Diana get an abortion– even if he had to pay for it, but she refused. And so he made her go away.

Packing every bit of what she owned, which admittedly wasn’t very much, Diana left her home, her brother Michael, and everything she’d ever known just to keep Jeffrey’s threats at bay. She eventually settled in Knoxville, Tennessee, and soon fell into the same old habits she couldn’t outrun no matter how far she strayed from Tonopah Falls. Cole Michael Monroe was born on April 14, 1985– a month and a half early and tweaking on his mother’s cocaine. Not expected to survive, Cole spent the next several weeks in the NICU, undergoing a number of different surgeries and fighting for his life until he was healthy enough for discharge. He mostly raised himself. Diana was either too busy, too high, or too depressed to be the mother Cole needed her to be, but it did little to quell his love for her. Day after day, he cared for his mother and tended to her more than she ever did for him.

Cole stayed in and out of trouble all throughout his childhood and early teens. He often got kicked out of school, even had a couple stints in juvenile detention. But his world stopped on its axis when, at fifteen years old, he found his mother dead in their mobile home following a heroin overdose. After Diana’s death, Cole was directed to the next of kin– his uncle, Michael Monroe. Michael and his wife, Laura, willingly took Cole in and brought him back to Tonopah Falls to live with them. Michael, a founding member of the Sons of Silence and owner of Reaper Crew Auto, quickly indoctrinated Cole and the young teen fell in love with club life almost instantly.

He started out as a hangaround then began prospecting at eighteen. At nineteen years old, Cole patched in as a member of the Sons of Silence and never looked back. Cole got into some trouble at twenty-six years old. He was arrested for attempted murder and aggravated assault, and handed a ten year prison sentence after nearly beating to death the abusive ex-boyfriend of a close friend. Prison took a toll on Cole. Not only was his uncle killed in a driveby shooting during that time, but the injuries Cole sustained in prison and the amount of hours he spent in solitary confinement began to wear on him.

After five years inside, Cole was released on parole at thirty-one years old. He spent the better part of the next year trying to piece his life back together and pick up where he left off. A few years later, the SOS fell into turmoil, with their president colluding behind the club’s back with Los Bandoleros in a bid to line his own pockets with cash. Once discovered, the former president was immediately removed and dealt with, and the club was left at a crossroads. With their future hanging in the balance, they turned to Cole for guidance. On the eve of his thirty-fifth birthday, he was voted in as the new president of the Sons of Silence. Since then, he’s been working hard to put the club first and stay on top of the ever present feud between the Sons and Los Bandoleros.

Headcannons:

Cole has yet to discover that his father is Jeffrey Decker– and that he has two half-siblings.

He struggles with sleep and will frequently end up at Stargazing Station just to pass the time and pick out various constellations. On that note, he wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up– obviously that didn’t happen.

In his spare time, Cole is a boxer and will frequently fight at the local gym.

He loves peppermints and hates anything lemon flavored.

#cole monroe. #sons of silence. #male. #tfhq.characters

[psychologeek]

Tw: death of a child, health conditions.

This isn't a happy story, but I don't think it's a sad story either.

(this is a story about hope, and love, and caring)

Life Worth Living

When my friend was sixteen, her daughter died.

(I think about her, sometimes)

My friend was born with health issues, and spent a lot of time at the hospital as a kid. She always stayed very short, and her heart was too big for her body. I met her when we were both 20 years old, and she worked as a pre-k teacher.

At her teens, she told me, she volunteered at the hospital she was treated at. She spent her time with the babies, especially those in NICU, or babies that were left behind in the hospital by their families due to medical conditions.

When my friend was sixteen, one of those babies was a tiny baby girl with a heart deficit.

(Things didn't look great for her. The doctors said she won't make it to her first birthday.)

And my friend?

She loved that little one with all of her heart. She went there everyday after school, spent weekends, holding the little one in her arms, playing with her, singing for her, just-

there.

It's hard to find a placement for kids with disabilities. Even (especially) if they are babies.

Who would like to be attached, and care for a kid that's going to die?

(My friend did)

And she loved that baby girl, with all of her heart. She wanted to give that little one a home.

And she was stubborn, and unstoppable, and willing to go through some bureaucracy shit.

And she did it.

She made it.

(She was allowed to adopt the baby.)

So she brought her new daughter home. She put her in her cradle by the window, where her daughter could feel the sun. She sang for her in a room that wasn't filled with beeping noises or the scent of antiseptics. In the night, she put the kid to sleep and turn off the light. So different from the hospital.

My friend brought her new daughter home -

and three weeks later, she died.

Her daughter died in a room with an open window, where she could feel the sun and hear the birds singing.

Her daughter died in her own cradle, with her own clothes, in a room filled with the scent of cooking coming from the kitchen.

Her daughter died at home.

Her daughter died before her first birthday-

(As all medic experts expected her to.)

Her daughter died loved, and cared, and home.

(Sometimes I envy her)

#love #family #found family #tw: death #tw: baby's death #death of a child #death of a baby #single mom #teen mom #heart disease #tw: mention of child abandoned #day of mourning #march 1st

[honeystwiggypeach]

Milestones!

Dad!Shirabu x Mom!Reader

Part two of this fic! (It was angst to fluff)

Requested by~ @leuyen2004

Tw-mentions of nicu stays and premie babies! Aiko meets her milestones! It’s mainly fluff of just Aiko developing healthily!! Let me know if I missed anything though!!

After Aiko came home from the Nicu, you could see the difference in Shorabu’s attitude, he was a lot more relaxed.

He was always the one getting up when he’d hear the baby monitor crackle if he’d left the room from when he’d laid her down in her cradle.

Always lifting her gently before sitting in the rocking chair with her a foreign look in his eyes, one of complete unconditional love as he would use his leg to softly rock the chair watching as her eyes fluttered shut.

On more than one occasion he’d fallen asleep on the floor of the nursery watching the rise and fall of Aiko’s chest as she held on to his finger tightly finger through the bars.

She started to babble and talk and the two of you thought it was the best thing ever, watching your husband pretend he understood every nonsensical word she said before she let out “dada” in what could only be described as a squeal.

She’d began to pull herself up and the two of you nearly wanted to cry when she used the sofa to pull up her weight, quickly turning her head towards the two of you when she’d heard a gasp as she smiled a little gummy smile.

She’d began to waddle around and get into the Tupperware cabinet when you or Kenjiro were cooking dinner staring up at you with her little smile when you’d hear the clattering of Tupperware fall, her smile erasing the frustration of having to clean up the Tupperware for the umpteenth time today.

Pls let me know if there’s anything you want to see me write because I love writing requests!!

#reader insert #x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu parents #haikyuu dads #mom!reader #dad!shirabu #dad!shirabu x reader #shirabu x reader #shirabu kenjirou #request

[greywoodrpg]

𝕓𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕖𝕟 𝕓𝕒𝕦𝕕𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕖

he was born forty-seven years ago, is a human and lives in white oaks and is unemployed. he looks an awful lot like scott speedman.

"And when you lie down with wolves, you learn to howl."

tw: child abuse, arson, alcoholism, death

Maybe he was just born unlucky. That’s a thing, right? Fucked stars, Mercury in bullshit, curses from that weird neighbour, wicked stepfamilies with their evil eyes. Dead mothers, damning you from the early grave you probably put them in. Whatever. Bastien came into the world quiet, and cost his already strapped parents a pretty ugly penny in the NICU - a tiny, fragile child, fighting from the start. He never really stopped, but, then again, with the dad he and Joseph had, neither of them got much of a chance at peace and quiet. While his big brother did his best to stand between Bash and the worst of their father’s violence, the youngest Baudelaire boy strove to grow up faster, stronger, tougher… enough that he could take care of himself, at least, so that Joseph wouldn’t have to catch any more punches on his behalf. If he could just be better.

Better’s tricky, though. Bash dug deep, he really did. But his hands always seemed to come up empty. At school, at home, on the field. In general. And then, thanks to Joe - what can’t he thank Joseph for, in the end - Bash got another shot. In Greywood. That was where Joe and Carina were going to bring their growing family up, and Bash, still very much a kid himself, was coming with. Of course he was. Like he had any reason to stay behind, taking shit from the old man.

But that new start in Greywood began to sour, fast. The deep, dark underbelly of the place was real deep and dark indeed, and the dangers of the supernatural world Bash quickly stumbled into didn’t do shit to keep him on the straight and narrow. If anything, the unreality of running around with werewolves, vampires, and whoever else only made it easier to slip off the rails. He might’ve been charming, when he wanted. Could be clever if he bothered to put his mind to something. Mostly, he seemed hellbent on fucking around and finding out. Nobody but the kindest of their new neighbours - the very, very kindest - would’ve said they had high hopes for Joseph’s brother. If they had any hopes, at all. That said, nobody, especially not the kids, could’ve argued that their uncle wasn’t a hell of a good time. Always a riot, Bash Baudelaire. Or, at least, a spree of mostly petty crime ending in some casual arson. Gotta learn your own lessons, make your own fun, right? Something like that.

The longer Roman was away on duty, the further he spiraled into his own damage on leave, the wilder Bash became. He’d dropped out - or, depending on who you asked, was kicked out - of school well before graduation, which was well after he’d crammed what few things he had into a bag and started couchsurfing his way out of the Baudelaire house, around Greywood. He hadn’t waited for Carina to tell him to go, bad influence that he was clearly turning out to be. He’d manage, on his own. He just had to. This was where Joe and the kids were, so.

So nothing changed. Family was what you made it, yeah? Bash made the most of his big brother’s kids. All smiles and uncle-ish excitement, he’d appear with shockingly expensive presents, or pick up the nieces and nephews from school for some impromptu, awesome roadtrip. His sister-in-law’s understandable glares weren’t nearly enough to keep him away, not so long as those kids were happy. That’s all he wanted. To see his brother’s family as happy as theirs could’ve been. If their mom hadn’t died. If their dad hadn’t decided to drown his problems, and, failing that, to take them out on his children.

Funny, how history repeats itself. Or echoes, at least.

Not actually funny, though. Before it all went really to hell, though, Bash enlisted the second he could - following Roman, naturally. Seventeen and in this, at least, naive, he was just so sure he’d find his big brother and prove that he could handle it, whatever it might be, at last. That wasn’t how things went, though. Of course not. He never found Roman, wherever the hell he kept going. His officers denied any knowledge of a Joseph Baudelaire, or a Roman Baudelaire. But Bash understood, at least. More and more, he understood why his brother came home only to find some drunken way to leave again. Bash spent most of his short-lived military career detained for some offense or other as his hope of reconnecting with his brother, being there for him, faded away. Soon enough, he was dishonourably discharged… and somebody else’s problem, again.

Bash quickly made himself a problem for a lot of somebodies, actually. Dropout, juvenile offender, and unlucky sonofabitch that he was, he fell back in with Greywood’s usual suspects. So long as he stuck around that tended to go pretty damn well for him. But things going well for Bash generally means somebody’s getting fucked over, and most of the somebodies in Greywood could rip him in half about it, or had people who saw to that sort of thing for them. Good sense sent him hightailing it out of town now and then, but he’d always find some way to make ends meet. Eventually - inevitably, most would mutter - he found himself in a county cell, where he paced through his own screw-ups and counted the days. Just unlucky, right. Other people got away with worse, all the damn time. Not a Baudelaire.

When Bash smiled his way to a little parole and got back to Greywood, turns out - who’d have thunk - that shit just kept happening while he was gone. Real shit. Carina had sent Roman packing. For good fucking reason. A reason so good Bash could hardly believe it. He had to find Joe, had to help; only, he didn’t know where to start. And money, which any dedicated cross-country attempt to hunt somebody down does need, was something of an issue. So Bash found some. In the bad old ways.

Where Roman went, Bash followed, as always. Or tried to, anyway. Ever since his big brother settled in town again, Greywood has, once more, become Bash’s sort-of home. He’s been slinking in and out of the place regularly ever since. Or was, before following a job elsewhere landed him in the usual sort of shit and another stint in jail. Those Baudelaire boys, they come back like cats. Or wolves. Yeah, Bash is well aware of what Roman’s turned into - and he’s wanted in, ever since. Typical kid brother, tagging along straight to hell. Maybe this time’ll go the same as all the others, but Bash, he’s feeling lucky lately. Go figure.

“what power did he attain when settling in greywood?”

Finally, Bash Baudelaire knows what it’s like to have fortune smile his way. He’s been weirdly lucky whenever he's passed through town, especially when it counts most. It just seems like he’s always in the right place at the right time, in Greywood… for something, anyway. Is it good luck, exactly, that he keeps winding up embroiled in the local supernatural underground? Maybe not, but. He’ll take it.

penned by... gray

#town rp #mature rp #oc rp #supernatural rp #horror rp #literate rp #human #scott speedman fc #child abuse tw #alcoholism tw #death tw #arson tw #retired