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whetstonefires · 5 months

Note

For the DVD Commentary post:

"I hate everything, he sobbed, and was surprised somehow when they did not draw back further, were not angry, even though it could not possibly be news by this point. I hate everything. I hate Shinra. I hate the world. I hate you. I hate Mother. I hate Sephiroth.

He made the name mean something entirely different than they had, trying to tame him. An image in fragments, bright silver yes and speed, the fit of uniform boots. The sound of people saying it, year in and year out—cold disdain and breathless admiration and writhing jealousy, and every repetition a new burden to carry. The crackle of flame and the stink of mako, laughter like Hojo’s laughter in his own throat, the taste of blood in your mouth. Jenova’s long-dead eyes staring with too much awareness for a corpse.

All the things the word Sephiroth meant that he felt consumed by, but also the mere thick, fungus-spreading concept of self.

He had failed so many times in so many ways. They told him he was perfect and yes everything was easy except anything that actually mattered, and he just wanted to do something right."

This one lives in my head hahaha i'd love to know the commentary behind it

Oh, this is a fun one! (That's for this post from this fic, the sixth and final Sephiroth-as-sibling AU.) Sorry for the delay in turnaround, I had to. Thanksgiving. It was a lot.

Well, we're already like three layers deep into Sephiroth's head during this bit, since it's a flashback to how he was feeling during an interaction within the Lifestream, so that part's a little redundant. He's about as self-aware as I can personally justify Sephiroth ever being.

This was an important bit for the fic, since it covers two essential elements--most obviously, it's the moment when Aerith's project of separating Sephiroth's consciousness from the greater Jenova gestalt decisively bore fruit.

Secondly, this is the passage where we find out why I've been tying myself into knots this entire time refusing to let the POV character call himself by name. (This would be even more important if I'd ever finished and posted the whole story; this is technically just the opening.)

Written carelessly, this bit would be just, the worst exposition-dump. So I leaned in hard on the sensory data, of Sephiroth's experience of brokenness and of his own fractured identity, and how that drives his relationship to the situation he's in now.

I ran through all the senses, some more than once--the physicality of memory was very important, since the physicality of the actual experience was illusory. Sight was first color, then a specific image; fire was a sound and mako was a smell. Taste was blood, which I remember wording carefully so it spanned the breadth from 'when you overwork until you start tasting blood' to 'blood in your mouth from serious injury' to 'having bitten,' because Sephiroth's cannibalism is all strictly metaphorical but it's also a big part of the narrative.

The game, I mean, but maybe also the fic.

Touch was the specific encasing sensation of standard-issue footwear and the internal sensation of your throat spasming on laughter, which bleeds into sound because Sephiroth's laughter during his breakdown is sometimes spelled like Hojo's and this makes me insane and I don't think he'd have been happy to notice it either.

And sound was also the symbolic item of the name, and the way it is held differently in each user's mouth, and how public-use Sephiroth's name was made by Shinra, when it was almost the only thing he had that was his own. The way his celebrity rendered him public property and so many people felt they knew him and had a right to his acknowledgement in return.

The way this makes trying to call him back to himself by calling his name, the way they do here, the way Zack tried at Nibelheim--difficult. There's no inherent intimacy in using his name to impose a specific personhood on him, and what there is has a lot of negative associations.

The nice thing about writing something happening in the Lifestream is you don't need to, and shouldn't, distinguish well between fact and metaphor. The name is the meaning you pack into it, much more than it is physical syllables. But the shape of those syllables is still attached, essential, in the same way the dead remember what they looked like, until they don't.

I don't think you can do a post-Jenovization Sephiroth without massive identity issues. He's technically been mindwhammied even more thoroughly than Cloud was at the Northern Crater, and like with Cloud, it was being in a position of doubting who and what he really was and whether that was worth anything that set him up to crack in the first place. So he doesn't have any stable sense of 'himself' to go back to.

There's no one alive who can do for Sephiroth what Tifa does for Cloud. But, I thought, there might be a few people dead who have a shot.

If you consider Sephiroth's lines in Cloud's version of the Nibelheim flashback to be canon--which I do because they're much more interesting than the alternative--then we also have strong indications Sephiroth adopted his omnicidal transhuman identity as a coping mechanism. He's very obviously not a happy person, but when Cloud/Zack/whoever says after the massacre that their sadness is the same he laughs and asks, what do I have to be sad about?

This new identity is his consolation, an escape. He has to have hated himself because most of 'himself' is a thing he threw away.

I think it's very significant to the themes of Final Fantasy VII that while our protagonist can be directly, physically puppeted by psychic projection when taken by surprise, ultimately it seems to be necessary to break Cloud's will at the root in order for Sephiroth to 'win' their conflict, a process probably achieved with the other more thoroughly overcome Copies via torture and isolation. (What this implies about the making of Genesis' Copies I'm not sure, but it's not good. The Compilation is very bad at preserving theme though, and I very much opted to side with the OG on any point of conflict here.)

Sephiroth may have been both deceived and influenced by psychic pressure, but he can't have been forced. He chose this. He rejected everything that he had ever been in life other than 'a killer' in exchange for a new identity that was straight-up fraudulent, and then when that bubble burst one with nothing in it but hunger and anger and pride, and didn't look back.

So, any Sephiroth you put back together post-Nibelheim to be a distinct living person and seek things other than domination and murder (a thing I've seen done quite a few times, it's a popular saw I'm kinda riffing on, though I've never seen it done in this timeframe) is going to be a wreck for reasons that have nothing whatever to do with guilt.

He has never had a strong and stable sense of self, raised within Shinra and subject to its demands. Sephiroth-of-SOLDIER was so easy to throw away because it was a self built up chiefly from without. He is not a nice or an accommodating person, but he's also not one who ever learned to make his own choices, something that's implied in the original game and leaned into heavily in Crisis Core.

When he unconsciously expects to be rejected for expressing his ragged, vulnerable hate in the section excerpted, that's part of this. Sephiroth is a character whose main vector of self-expression has always been violence, but who has never been permitted his own anger--before he breaks, his resentment of Hojo appears exclusively via passive aggression. (This is such a bad combination stg President dude wtf did you expect.)

This passage is the baring of all these facts, the breaking point where Aerith successfully deprives him of his coping mechanisms thoroughly enough that he's driven onto the shoals of honest agony. And he's already ditched the act-normal, stay-level coping behaviors that got him through most of his life. And he's straight-up lost chunks of his psyche that got particularly integrated with his Mother and left behind when Aerith did Big Slice, some of which had provided him with load-bearing emotional bulwarks against self-loathing. So what's left?

But even as this is getting to the heart of his unhappiness, he's at the same time conducting one more self-evasion maneuver here, trying to wrap Sephiroth up into a bundle that he can externalize his self-hatred onto, a thing that people (including Jenova) made of him (he, who is a made thing) rather than a person he continuously is.

If Aerith had set him adrift in the Lifestream in this state and somehow kept Jenova from promptly reincorporating him, he probably would have succumbed to the true death quite rapidly, since it's the hanging-on to one's own identity that holds that off, and Sephiroth's primary attachment points seem to have always been his hatred and his physical form, and he's here shown in a state of rejecting his attachment to both, for lack of any other effective shield against the hurt of being.

Instead she stuffed him back into his body, which was conveniently preserved in crystal at the Northern Crater (a significantly less bullshit way to resurrect the lad than anything else I've seen done imho lmao like it's already there in the text). Existing as a single person in a body is the foundation (though not a necessary prerequisite) of individual selfhood in this setting, so he's sort of being forced to patch a self together by virtue of having skin.

Which brings us out of this flashback and a day later to the main timeline of the fic--wherein it is hopefully now more obvious why he's acting this way.

And possibly why one of the first things he did (after stabbing Rufus on sight lol) was cut off his iconic hair.

The three ghosts (not actually appearing in the quoted passage but relevant) are being fairly honest, since 1) they're dead and made of feelings and that makes it harder to avoid and 2) what they're doing wouldn't work otherwise.

Aerith's primary motive really isn't revenge, though I think as we see with Tseng she is fully capable of balancing a sense of connection to someone and the opinion that they should die and spare everyone else the burden of their existence in the world; her primary motive isn't pity either.

This is strategic. Sephiroth makes Jenova much stronger and is doing a lot of her thinking as part of the gestalt; breaking them up is, if possible, the single most effective thing she can do from within the Lifestream. And since in this timeline she knows Sephiroth much better than in canon, she has an angle of attack available. And she does identify with him, and remember him as a very unhappy child, and when you come down to it no person who was a deeply unhappy child ever entirely stops being one, deep down.

(Another fact that is relevant to Cloud's canonical identity arc. He cannot start to fully heal until he integrates that resentful eight-year-old who internalized the blame for not protecting Tifa from herself.)

Zack is in this for her sake and Cloud's, and because his failure at Nibelheim is his greatest remaining regret, especially because of the way it replicates the trauma of Angeal's death. There's no way he could pass up the chance to resolve that. And even now, he really feels for Sephiroth--especially now, as Aerith's plan gets moving and how pitiful a creature Sephiroth is under all that gets exposed.

Angeal feels, with some justification, responsible for Sephiroth's mental breakdown. He didn't realize he had that kind of power or he would at the very least have made more effort to explicitly dip on Sephiroth personally and make clear that it wasn't personal, but he definitely helped fuck the guy up. Happily, if there's one thing Angeal is good at it's failing to let go of things he very clearly should not hold onto, so he makes a solid anchor for this maneuver.

The only reason he's able to verbalize this as usefully as he does is the squad basically ran drills for this before making their move. All three of them are violently allergic to most expressions of sincere emotion, especially negative, especially their own, especially conveyed in words rather than gestures and allusions, and having to listen to one another's practice monologues was significantly more unpleasant than getting killed in the first place. But they had to, so they could provide critique.

I don't think I have any puns for this one?

:} Do note that Aerith's chopping maneuver after luring Sephiroth's core consciousness away from the gestalt center via grudgebaiting should be visualized with that same overhead slam animation she uses in FFVII:1997 when you have her jump forward from the back row and deliver a physical blow with her staff.

#ask #hoc est meum #Anonymous #sephiroth #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #meta #aerith maxing out her ghost accomplishments #hold my beer obiwan #........stack of three obiwans #ask game #dvd commentary #i admit that the idea Aerith *can* stuff people back in their bodies relatively casually #relies heavily on advent children #but hey that's canon!!!

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