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harstyle · 3 months

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the styles’ nanny

Summary: Y/N is a twenty-three year old uni student and Harry is a thirty-six year old single dad. Y/N is a part-time nanny and Harry is her employer. Y/N thinks Harry is hot, and Harry… well, he’s a bit confused.

Pairing: plussize-nanny!yn + older-singledad!harry

Word-count: 7.3k

Warnings: age gap (13 years), mentions of alcohol and drinking and lashing out during an argument, no happy ending yet

A/N: I don’t know why I keep writing characters that start out insecure but I swear it’ll get better later!! Let me know if you want to read more, I’m thinking maybe three parts? Also, the fact that y/n is plus-size doesn’t really become a big deal in the story, but that was how I originally had her in mind so I’m leaving it that way. Hope you enjoy!

Y/N was twenty three. She was twenty three, and she used to love being twenty three. She used to love going out to party, the feeling of alcohol burning down her throat, the rush of palpable excitement when having sex with people she’d never met before. She used to love that. But she didn’t anymore.

And the reason for that? One Harry Styles.

It was ridiculous, of course; Harry had other companions he could turn to before ever settling on her— oh and not to mention, he was her boss. Yet, it felt daring, like that time she’d fallen in love with her biology teacher or looked differently at her camp instructor in high school. Authority figures did something to her brain, and Harry was no different.

But of course there was a lot at stake and she would never actually approach the idea; it was a fantasy at most. And she thought… as long as she didn’t act on her brain’s poisoning, it would be fine.

“Y/N, did you hear me?”

“Oh,” she was snapped back to her current state following the short distraction, the butter knife in her hand now seeming more dangerous than when she’d held it seconds before. “Sorry, Harry, what was that?”

She swore she could see an amused smile tugging at his lips for a brief second. She’d always wondered what he thought of her.

“Are you free next Thursday? I have this meeting until late and I doubt I’ll be home for dinner—I was thinking you could maybe put Jamie to bed? You can stay the night if it’s too late to catch a train, or just take the other car?”

Y/N’s work day at the Styles’ house ended at five pm most days in time for Harry to get home, but she did adore Jamie, so staying longer wasn’t remotely an issue.

“That’s okay, I can just stay the night like I did last time, if that’s alright?”

Harry had insisted when she’d begun working for him that she have a room in the house where she could take naps to rest or stay the night all together when it got too tiring to catch the train home, and the notion of it had pulled at her heartstrings. He was very considerate and that was rare in bosses.

Harry shook his head, waving her off with ease, “course it’s okay.”

“Great. I should get home, I have an important test coming up tomorrow. Am I good to go?”

He glanced at the clock, noticing how late it had gotten (he’d offered to cook dinner and Y/N had never been one to reject hot men’s company) and cursed quietly to himself. “I’ll drive you.”

“Oh no Harry, really, it’s okay!”

“It’s almost eight and I feel uneasy whenever I send you away in the dark. Sides, I’m sure Jamie will love a late road trip to your flat,” he reassured with a smile, standing up as if to restrict her getting a choice and starting to load the plates into the dish washer. “Grab your coat and I’ll wait by the door. I’ll get Jamie.”

Y/N did love the way he asserted his wishes to her, kind but dominant in his decisions. He didn’t let her deter him and she, for one, didn’t mind it at all.

“Okay, thank you.”

“No problem, love.”

—

“Can I please just get one scoop? Please?”

“I’m sorry, buddy, we just don’t have any ice cream! I would let you have it if we did, but we don’t. Is there any other snack you’re interested in?”

Jamie was being fussy today and Y/N couldn’t figure out why. He’d been happy when she’d picked him up from school, raving on about his art teacher’s praise on a drawing he’d done with the widest grin resting lazily on his small lips. It had been at around three that he’d started whining at her, not wanting to eat even though he’d requested the grilled cheese and flicking through about twenty channels until he’d finally settled on not watching anything at all. Y/N had figured he was tired, but he didn’t want to sleep either, so she was left thoroughly baffled trying to find ways to tame his mood.

But he wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop whining and crying, wouldn’t stop flailing his tiny arms and legs, wouldn’t stop pouting at her. Jamie had the best behaviour Y/N had ever seen on a boy, really, so this behavior worried her. “I just want ice cream!”

“Jamie, we don’t have any ice cream. How about I get you ice cream tomorrow, hm? And today we’ll have something else? Come on, remember how we learned about compromise?”

Y/N was trying, pulling Jamie into her lap to comfort him even though he didn’t care for any of it. His face was red and angry and nothing she said registered in his brain. He cried into her shoulder instead, gripping at her sides in terror. “You’re being mean to me.”

“Hey, that’s not very nice, I’m trying to help you bud.”

“Please, I just want ice cream.”

It was kind of cute how even in his state of devastation, he still managed to be polite to her.

“And I hear you, Jamie, but we don’t have any right now. Will you settle for Oreos? Or chocolate?”

He merely shook his head.

Y/N breathed a grateful sigh when she heard the front door being unlocked, still bouncing Jamie up and down in her lap in hopes that he’d settle down just a bit. She was sure Harry’d heard the crying from the front door because his steps were fast and his expression of concern clear.

“What’s wrong, bub?”

Jamie reacted with a devastating whine, calling for his dad and reaching his arms out begging to be carried. Harry shot Y/N a look of mixed confusion and apology, leveling the boy out from inside of her lap. He mouthed the question she knew he’d been thinking and felt bad when all she could offer in return was a shrug because she knew it wasn’t the ice cream anymore

Harry sung in whispers into his ear in the hopes of calming him, bouncing him around on the spot. He pressed kisses to his forehead, drawing circles on his back. It worked better than when Y/N had done it, Jamie’s sobs having soothed into few hiccups and sniffles.

Y/N couldn’t help but admire how naturally skilled Harry was at being a father. She knew a little bit of the history— his fiancée at the time leaving him for another man months after having given birth to Jamie and having to raise him by himself. He was a busy man and Y/N could often tell that he felt bad about being unable to do things like pick up his son from preschool or spend all day playing in the den, but he was still a better father than hers had ever been. He was a great father.

Not long after his crying had died down, Jamie fell asleep in Harry’s arms. Y/N finally breathed a sigh, relieved to catch a break. She loved taking care of Jamie, but jesus had today been hard. Harry carried him up to his bedroom, careful as to not bother him and advised Y/N to wait for him to come back.

Whilst Harry was putting Jamie to bed, she decided to clean up a bit. She went through the array of toys Jamie had taken out and discarded after a short minute of playing with them, and placed them back in the drawers. A smile tugged at her lips when she saw the dino plush toy she’d gifted him when she’d first started working for this family months ago— he still played with it all of the time. In fact, Harry had once sent her a photo of it sitting next to him in the car when they’d gone on vacation in the summer. She recalled tearing up because of it.

“Hi, sorry for taking so long.”

She swore she almost jumped in reaction to his thick voice, gripping the plush tightly against her chest in shock. Harry allowed himself a chuckle, raising his arms just enough to surrender. “Sorry, should’ve knocked.”

Y/N’s only response was a forced chuckle. It still felt weird to be in a room with him by herself, without the presence of a cute five year old to tend to. It was moments like these she felt guilty about fancying him. Most of the time Harry was merely a ghost around the house and whenever he settled back in, she would leave. She rarely ever had time to utter more than a quick ‘see you tomorrow’ and rush off home. It wasn’t like he was there, so her thoughts about him didn’t seem too off putting— now, with the company of awkward silence engulfing them, she couldn’t help but feel disgusted by herself.

“Think he’s getting sick,” he then added.

“Probably,” she agreed. “I don’t think I’ve seen him like that before so it was just a bit worrisome.”

“Yeah, he only really gets like that when he’s sick, so I think it’s safe to say… you’re alright, though?”

“I’m fine, just a bit worried, as I said.”

He smiled like he found that amusing, “he’ll be okay. Are you hungry? I was going to make pasta for dinner.”

“Oh, are you sure?”

Last time she’d had dinner here, Jamie had sat next to her. It hadn’t been just her and him.

“Yeah. Why don’t you put the dino down and we’ll go make it together?”

In an instant, her cheeks heated up. She hadn’t even noticed she was still clutching to it for support and figured he must’ve thought she looked so stupid welcoming the comfort of a plush toy. Another awkward chuckle escaped her as she threw it gently into its container, bucking down to lock it away as well as her memory of these last two minutes, hopefully.

Harry was a good cook, but that wasn’t really surprising at all— in fact, she couldn’t imagine there were many things he wouldn’t excel at. Y/N, on the other hand, she was terrible. She’d burned so many things in her apartments kitchen that she couldn’t keep count even if she tried. So naturally, he took the lead in every task she did, from cutting onions to seasoning the salmon.

“Wait, no, y’can’t— here,” she couldn’t help but giggle as he took the knife from her hands, cutting into the flesh himself. He huffed, but she knew it was teasing. “You’ve gotta learn how to cook.”

“I know how to cook basic things, just not some five star gourmet meal. I think you’d be surprised what I can do with some seasoning, eggs and tomatoes.”

“I have no choice but to take your word for it, do I?”

“Guess not. Can I do something else? I feel so useless.”

He clicked his tongue, not even sparing a glance her way. “Go sit on the counter and look pretty.”

And at first, Y/N didn’t know how to respond to that. Did she just… literally sit on the counter? Probably not. It was… a joke, right? How did he expect she would react to such a bizarre request? For a second the guilt she’d been feeling about potentially being unprofessional subsided in a flush.

Then he finally let his eyes settle on her and she just about fainted at what he had to say, “what? Do you need help getting up?”

She was 99% sure at this point that he just got off on pestering her, what with the dino, and now this? Prior to these last two weeks he’d never even spoken more than five words to her, and now he was inviting her to dinner. He probably found the confusion written all over her face amusing.

She could probably indulge a little then, right?

“Yeah, I do.”

He didn’t just laugh, though, like she’d expected him to— no, he ran his hands under hot water, wiped his hands on his (very) expensive trousers and walked toward her. He motioned to the counter as if asking her to get closer and—

“Wait, no, I can do it.”

He immediately stepped back, hands dropping from her waist and smirk molding his mouth.

“You can now?”

“Yes.”

He held eye contact for a few more beats before moving away with a solid nod.

What the fuck was that?

Y/N had expected him to dismiss her, uttering something along the lines of ‘I was only joking’, but that? Never would she have thought that that would be the response.

It was funny, too, because he never could’ve carried her up without at least a bit of struggle. She knew what he was used to— thin women, supermodels even, and she was neither.

So despite the confusion, she got up on the counter like he’d asked. On her own.

And when he’d started asking her about normal things like family and uni, Y/N slowly eased out of her awkward stance. She told him about her mother, her brother, and left her deceased father out of it. He smiled, nodding along to her words whenever the situation allowed it and kept his eye on the food.

A blink was all it took for him to announce dinner and the two of them sat at the table together, peacefully quiet.

It was around six thirty when the patter of tiny feet sounded through the house, from the stairs to the kitchen. Both of the adults waited patiently, eyebrows raised in surprise that the little gremlin had decided to wake up after only having slept for two hours.

“Daddy?”

Y/N almost melted at his sweet, buttery voice.

Harry hummed, “is that you, bub?”

He finally poked his head into the room, carrying a plush toy in one hand and rubbing his sleepy eyes with the other. He studied the room before settling his green irises (clone of his dad’s) on Y/N.

“Y/N, you’re still here.”

She smiled, a pity smile, and answered in a sweet tone, “I am, bud. Is that okay?”

He merely nodded, stalking closer. Harry pulled him up into his lap, kissing his forehead before letting him rest against his front.

“I wanted to apologize for being mean before.”

Her stomach did another flip.

Was this a dream, or did a five year old just apologize to her on his own incentive? She swore these Styles boys surprised her every day!

Her eyes flickered to Harry and she watched as a proud smile stretched his mouth. He met her gaze, the grin undeniably wide, and shrugged as if to say didn’t tell him to.

“That’s okay, Jamie, I understand you were frustrated. Are you feeling better?”

He nodded again, although it was weak and subtle, “my throats itchy.”

Harry’s smile faded with his confession and he pressed the back of his palm to his son’s forehead, “why’d you get out of bed, then, silly? You need to rest if you’re sick.”

“Missed you, daddy.”

She could see that same guilt she’d seen so many times before manipulate Harry’s features again, and her heart broke a little bit for him. She couldn’t keep track of the amount of times she’d wanted to just break and say you’re a wonderful father to him, but stopped herself in fear of overstepping.

Knowing he wasn’t going to say anything soon enough, too lost in his own thoughts, she went on for him. “Tomorrow is Saturday, Jamie, how about you go rest so you can have a full day with your dad tomorrow? S’not nice spending weekends sick in bed, as you know.”

In a manner that was so much more than cute, Jamie’s fingers trapped his chin to appear deep in thought, and then he nodded. “That makes sense.”

Y/N almost laughed, “doesn’t it?”

“Will you be here too, Y/N?”

Jamie knew very well that Y/N wasn’t here on Saturdays, so she guessed he was only implying that she should be. An invitation of sorts.

But she really couldn’t handle being around Harry on the weekends as well as on weekdays, so she shook her head gently, “no, but I’ll be back on Monday, is that okay with you?”

To show his dismay, he jutted his lip out in a pout. “Can’t you come over for lunch?”

Harry nudged him, “Jamie, remember how we talked about what Y/N does when she isn’t here with us?”

“School. But there’s no school on Saturdays!”

“She does school, you’re right. When you get older, there’s so much you have to do for school that it never stops, not even on weekends. And you know what else she does? She meets up with friends, she plays tennis, she goes shopping for groceries. There’s tons she has to do besides spend time with us, yeah?” He never met her gaze as he spoke to Jamie, and it was better that way— he’d probably have caught her loved up eyes if he dared to do it. He remember details about her she didn’t recall telling him about. As if it hadn’t been enough, he added onto it, “plus, I reckon she’d appreciate a break from us, huh? We’re definitely not the only boys in her life, so we should share once in a while. No matter how much we like having her around.”

It was almost magical, the connection Harry and Jamie shared with each other. Nevermind what he’d said to make Jamie understand (she definitely hadn’t missed that last sentence— or the idea of ‘other boys’ altogether), it just made her happy to listen to them converse. It was healthy, a bit serious when need be but mostly light and protective. He did everything in his power to preserve Jamie’s innocence, especially about his upbringing and the whole mother issue.

After a long train of thought, Jamie slowly nodded his small head, “okay. Fine. But I get you Monday! No other boys Monday through Friday.”

Y/N couldn’t help the laugh that tumbled from her mouth, incessant and silly. “Okay, Jamie, I promise I won’t let other boys come between us Monday through Friday, okay? Is that good for you?”

“Me and daddy, though. He’s the only other boy allowed.”

She giggled again, avoiding Harry’s gaze but nodding nonetheless, “sure. Daddy too.”

She felt Harry shift out of her periphery.

“Okay,” he finally settled, outstretching his arm across the table, “pinky promise?”

She did the same, but just before Jamie had a chance to interlink his much smaller finger with hers, she pulled back. “If I pinky promise you on this, will you pinky promise me that you’ll finally go rest?”

He hummed in agreement.

She welcomed the promise, letting her finger link with Jamie’s for a few seconds until he felt ready to let go.

“Now go lay down. I’ll see you Monday, okay?”

“Kay. Can I have a hug?”

“Of course,” she cooed at him, arms already outstretched the moment he’d climbed down from Harry’s lap. Jamie gave the best hugs, so she figured Harry would as well. She’d never gotten to test that theory, though. “Okay, good night.”

“Night.”

Jamie took slow steps (he was much like his father that way, taking his time in everything he did) and slowly disappeared into the main room, eventually stalking up the stairs as both Y/N and Harry listened for it.

“Thank you,” Harry then broke the silence. Her eyes flickered toward him, eyebrows drawing together in confusion, but a nervous smile playing on her mouth. “You’re so good with him.”

“It’s my job to be good to him.”

“It’s your job to take care of him, but you’re not… you’re doing much more than just be nice to him and I appreciate that. So thank you.”

“He’s a great kid, so… not a very difficult thing to do.”

The air had somehow become thick and unwavering, unspoken words wafting between their bodies across the table and back. Harry looked like he wanted to say more but his jaw stayed shut in place and she certainly wasn’t going to pester him about it. It was already difficult to keep in mind that despite the lighthearted dinner, he was still her employer, and that the boundaries they had been practicing since the beginning of her time here were slowly being blurred and tested.

So it didn‘t really matter what she felt whenever he spoke to her, she had to preserve herself and her position here.

She feigned a glance at the clock to justify looking away and sat up in her chair, “I should go home.”

His nod was curt, “okay. I’ll get the keys.”

“No, don’t worry, I have to stop by somewhere else before. I’ll manage.”

It was a lie, of course it was.

“Fine.”

As Y/N made her way back outside, she regretted declining his offer and the farther she walked away from the house, the more she thought about the things they could’ve talked about had she let him grab his keys and escort her home. If he would walk her to the door like last time, without Jamie in the car of course, and bid her a proper goodbye. How maybe, if they’d inched close enough, they would share a moment of hesitation before kissing. Her imagination ran wild with it and she knew that it wouldn’t really happen, but the chances would’ve been greater had she just been bad.

Shit.

—

Y/N was crying.

She was bursting into tears outside of a bar looking like a pathetic, lost idiot— and it just wouldn‘t stop. She couldn’t recall anymore what exactly she‘d expected before going into the date she‘d spontaneously agreed to as a result of her mother‘s pleas, but it certainly hadn‘t been such an embarrassing let down. Her shoulders slumped as she thought back on her date‘s words: I don’t see this going anywhere, but you’re a really nice girl. Friends?

And why was she crying? She was crying because she knew what he’d really meant was: you’re not my type at all, and this was a waste of my time. How did she know? The way he’d looked at her, with a sparkle of disgust in his eyes, the tone he’d used; pitiful and mean. How he’d looked at other, skinny girls while Y/N had been planted directly in front of him and lastly, how he’d left before the date had even ended.

Y/N hadn’t left the bar as soon as he had, no, she’d stayed until now; closing time. She’d drunk herself to exhaustion, pulling shot after shot and even worrying the barista who went to her psych class at uni. Before she’d known it, the clock had struck three am and four hours had passed since what’s-his-face had left her to rot in there.

She had no idea what to do, she could barely even form a thought. It didn’t matter that she’d been rejected— this wasn’t about that, it was about something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Since the beginning of time relationships had been sparse and dreadful, so another notch on her belt couldn’t have mattered so much as to bring her to a multitude of tears, but she did feel unlovable and undesirable in the way she had throughout all of her life. People had told her things would get better if she waited it out, but they’d lied. Guys were still assholes.

There was really only one person she felt like contacting, and that was Harry. He’d been on her mind all weekend. She’d been wondering if she ever crossed his mind, if for a sliver of a second he allowed himself to think about her in the way she thought about him, and felt a disgustingly sour taste in her mouth when she realized the answer had to have been no.

But Y/N was drunk, and people did stupid things when they were drunk— so without much afterthought, she used the remainder of her battery on dialing his number. He answered after the first ring and her mind wandered to question the plausibility of him being awake at this hour.

“Y/N?”

She was struck watching the road in front of her, unable to answer. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.

What had she done?

“Y/N, is everything okay?” another wave of tears overwhelmed her senses and as a result, she sobbed right into the speaker, and heard shuffling on the other side. “Sweetheart, where are you? What’s happened?”

“This guy— he just— he was so mean and he left me here—“

“Where? Where are you? Who left you?”

“The viper.”

“Y/N, that place closed twenty minutes ago. Are you inside?”

“No, she… she said I need to get out, so I did, but I didn’t know where to go cause m’drunk, and I…” there was a pause in which she realized how stupid he must’ve thought she was, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Okay, listen to me. Please stay there, don’t move, and send me your location. I’m coming to get you.”

She had no fight left in her, so she nodded to herself. Harry didn’t see, obviously, but he hung up with the hope that she’d understood him clearly.

When he arrived not fifteen minutes later, he put his car in park and hopped out to find Y/N sat on the floor, a lazy smile pulling at her lips when she laid eyes on him.

“Harry, hi! I was just thinking about you!”

He said nothing, a tick in his jaw as he helped her up on her feet, grounding her stature. She nuzzled her head into his shoulder and he kept a steady beat to bring her to warmth as quickly as possible. Y/N got the idea, aimlessly buckling up and failing miserably until he offered assistance.

“Thank you,” she murmured to him, though he refused to give a verbal response. He merely nodded, jaw still locked in place before he closed the door. Y/N watched as he walked over to the other side and opened the door.

He drove in silence and Y/N tried to be okay with that. She stared ahead, mind still gloomy, with her lips jutted out in a pout. The silent treatment made her feel like a scolded child, like Harry was her angry father who refused to speak to her because she’d come home past her bedtime. She looked over to scan over his features, make sure the crease between his forehead had subsided at least a little, but it hadn’t.

After the longest minute of her life, she finally asked, quietly, “are you mad at me?”

And when he didn’t say anything, her heart dropped.

“Oh,” she whispered.

Y/N didn’t dare to say anything for the rest of the ride. When they got back, Y/N opened her own door and hopped out, refusing to wait for Harry to help. He sighed, she could hear, but she just slowly trailed after him.

“Up on the counter,” he grumbled, grabbing a glass of water to help sober up. She took it from his hand.

“Harry, I’m sor—“

“Drink the water.”

She almost flinched at his angry tone.

Y/N was halfway done with the glass when he scoffed, unable to bite his tongue any longer, “I’m angry because you were irresponsible. First you go on a date with some dickhead—“ she opened her mouth to protest, but failed to when he put up a finger to halt her, “then you get yourself drunk and sit outside of the bar alone in a stingy area. Something could’ve happened to you, then what?”

All Y/N could say was, “it didn’t,” and it was the weakest argument she could’ve thought of.

“It very well could’ve and you’d have your stupidity to thank for it.”

Her heart banged again. She didn’t like getting reprimanded by Harry, nearly at the end of her rope anyway. She‘d never seen this side of him before, stern and miserly. Clearly Y/N had only really seen one version of him and had gotten lost in the illusion of it all.

In a last attempt to make him understand, vulnerable and naked, she let herself sniffle, “I don’t think anyone is ever going to love me.”

She‘d expected it to pull at her heartstrings more than it ended up doing— ironically enough, she felt fine confessing to him. Maybe it was the fact that she‘d bottled it up for so long that it was nice to finally admit to it, to allow somebody else to step into her shoes. Of course, every confession came with a tinge of embarrassment (it wouldn’t be a confession otherwise), but this one was still manageable. And yeah, maybe it was the alcohol coursing through her system, but who cared?

“What?”

“No one loves me. I’ve never… guys have never liked me enough to want to brag about it, or keep me around for longer than a month, and… and I do get it, cause I come with a shit ton of baggage, but it just… it takes a lot to be motivated about things that way. I’m twenty three and I’ve barely experienced what it means to love someone and actually have them love you back.”

The display of vulnerability floated heavily through the air.

He was silent for a second. He did that sometimes, she noticed, especially when he was processing things.

Once he did open his mouth, though, he knew exactly what to say, “you can’t let some immature boys get to you like this, you hear me? Tell me one good asset the guy you went on a date with had.”

Y/N shook her head, not because she couldn‘t have if she‘d thought about it hard enough but because she had no energy to continue this conversation any longer. He wouldn’t get it

“See? No guy is worth crying over, especially not on some dirty pavement outside of a bar.”

He truly did have a point there, she supposed.

But it wasn’t just about that, so she told him exactly that— well, at least tried to, “it’s more than… I don’t… I don’t feel good enough.”

“You’re being a bit silly, sweetheart.” She registered how sweet he’d gotten again, finger brushing against her knee and features softening just enough to convince her of safety. He probably felt bad for her. “You’re plenty good enough.”

“Y’don’t get it,” she murmured, “you don’t understand what it feels like to get rejected solely because of your looks.” Y/N had always felt slightly weird talking about her appearance with people who weren’t her closest friends, and even then she felt judgment coming from them. Each time they asked if she would come clubbing with them to score boys, she was never able to honestly express that she‘d never wanted to go because it was always her who was left riding home in an uber alone. And it wasn’t like she felt ugly— in fact, there were instances she felt so confident nobody could’ve told her anything, but then there were those few others… and her whole system came down crashing.

“What do you mean?”

He couldn’t be so daft, could he?

“You’re— you just don’t fucking get it, okay? It’s… whatever, I don’t care.”

That took some courage too, courage she only registered after having uttered the words, but she couldn’t say it. She couldn’t mutter the words this guy didn’t fancy me because I’m fat, because she still had more class than that— even drunk. Ever the childish, pouty person she was, she had more shame than that.

She buried her face in her hands, breathing out, “I’m sorry. Sorry, that was rude of me.”

“It’s fine,” he placed a warm hand on her thigh, thumb stroking soothingly. With a sympathetic look in his eye (confusion too, she guessed), he tried to pacify her concerns, “you need sleep, everything will be better when you wake up.”

He was probably right about that.

“Okay.”

As he escorted her up the stairs, she couldn’t help but let her eyes trail over his features, watching as they hardened and softened based on the turmoil occurring inside of his mind. She wanted to reach in there and grab onto clues, grasp an understanding of the workings of him, but he made that nearly impossible. She would look away if he caught her eye, cheeks heating up every time she was captured by his darkened green irises.

He opened the door, allowing her to take the first step. She didn’t really need the help, but she couldn’t complain when his hand posed on the small of her back so he could maneuver her onto the sheets.

“Do you want a change of clothes, Y/N?”

“Um, if you have something?”

She doubted there was anything in his huge closet that would fit her in the way she preferred, but the idea of spending the night in jeans was just as dreadful, so she took the chance and nodded.

He came back later with a stack of clothes perched on his left hand, the other holding another glass of water. “Anything else?”

Y/N paused for a moment to think and shook her head, “no. But just—“ she swallowed around the lump in her throat, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

She couldn’t believe the words she spoke next, no thought invested into them: “will you come into bed with me?”

Time refused to pass, the ball was in his court.

When he gave a subtle nod, it was like god and the universe were sending good karma her way. Her compensation for the night. “Just until you fall asleep.”

Y/N scooted to the other edge of the bed, reaching down under the blanket to rid herself of her jeans and pull on those grey sweatpants. Surprisingly enough, they fit extremely well. Harry laid down over the blanket (to prevent getting too comfortable, probably) and perched himself onto his forearm.

Another bold wave met with Y/N’s courage as she reached out her hand to trail over his chest. Harry swallowed thickly.

“You’re really nice t’me.”

“You deserve to be treated well.” The snort that left her was completely involuntary, but it still made Harry frown. “You do.”

“Everyone does,” she later mumbled in agreement. He seemed to dislike the way she’d surrendered, though, because he did that thing with his jaw whenever he was ticked off.

What he didn’t like was the implication behind her tone that she only deserved respect because everyone did, regardless of her own character. She was disregarding her beauty and her kindness, her character, and reducing it to a commodity when it wasn’t.

He’d always had difficulty expressing his feelings, though, so he stuck with silence. Stone cold silence.

It pertained for five more minutes until he watched as sleep slowly overtook her figure, peaceful breaths cascading from her mouth. She looked so pretty asleep; relaxed, void of concerns and the crinkle in her forehead from tonight’s events dissipating into its initial form.

He wondered if she’d ever given him other implications of being an insecure girl— if she had, he’d caught none of them. He never would’ve thought somebody so effortlessly beautiful and kind as her could think to deserve less on such extreme levels. It made him wonder if anyone had ever treated her as she deserved; he noticed once that whenever she spoke about her family, she failed to mention her father. It seemed men had disappointed her in more ways than one.

There was inner turmoil bothering him. He didn’t know what he was feeling for his child’s nanny, but there was surely no other woman he felt as eager to take care of— picking her up, driving her home, clearing a room for her.

It was terrifying to allow himself these few minutes of observing her because he feared the impure thoughts which would cross his mind. Not perverse, but intimate. She deserved more than him, he was sure of it.

He left the room after another five minutes, trying to be as subtle as possible as he walked to the door. It was later than four am, so he stopped by his son’s room to check on him. When he saw nothing out of the ordinary, he finally carried himself to his own bedroom.

He would lie awake until sunrise.

—

Y/N had never woken up so panicked before, chest heaving and mind elsewhere entirely. Her head was pounding and her heart rate palpable, she was sweating all over and she could only recall last night in small, blurry tidbits.

God, and she had to face Harry. On a Monday morning.

After maybe ten minutes of lying around and procrastinating, she finally moved herself out of bed. She pulled on her clothes from last night, drank the water that was situated on her nightstand and tidied up in the bathroom before going to search for him. She looked upstairs— no trace of him, so she cascaded down the stairs and made her way to the kitchen. On the way there, his office caught her eye. The door was cracked opened and at a closer peek, she saw him sitting at the desk with his hand buried in his hair, mumbling something. She knocked, he flinched.

“God, Y/N, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” she gave a sheepish smile, “are you busy?”

“I—“ he sighed, shaking his head. It was when he spoke into the phone lying on his desk that she realized he’d been one a phone call. Before she could backtrack, he’d muttered an ‘I’ll call you later, Stace’ to them and hung up for her. She stood there, fingers interlaced in front of her body and balancing on the balls of her feet in intimidation.

He didn’t look happy either, and that was probably because ‘Stace’ was Jamie’s mother. She would call every few months, he’d told her, and cause some sort of havoc— from wanting to talk to Jamie on the phone to wanting to see him in person. When asked why he didn’t like letting her see Jamie, he’d given Y/N a very vague answer; wouldn’t do any good. She’d settled with that back then, having sensed the energy shifting.

Y/N felt bad for him now, the stress assuming control of his features almost overwhelming to look at.

He was already glancing up at her expectantly, but the words disappeared from her brain and all she wanted to do, really, was comfort him.

“I— are you okay?”

It was a visceral reaction he had to those few little words, the furrow in his eyebrow deepening, “yes, why?”

“Because… well because you were talking to Stacie on the phone—“

His scoff interrupted her pity stutter, “so you’re listening in on my conversations now?”

Oh, she was no longer sorry; she was scared. “No! No, I’m not, I swear! I was walking past looking for you and I heard you mumble something, I don’t— I would never…” and he must’ve known that. He must’ve known that she would never, ever listen in on his conversations, nor try to overstep the line by doing that (obviously she’d fucked up last night, but aside from that). He knew her, he’d trusted her for long enough for her to know that he knew that, so his accusation ticked her off.

But he looked terrifying right now; eyes dark, eyebrows furrowed, closed off stance, and nothing like the Harry she’d gotten to know well. And she had no idea if it had been last night or this that had finally pushed him over the edge.

“So why bring it up?”

“Because you— because you’ve talked about it before and I was just— I wanted to check on you!” She was stuttering like an idiot, she was aware, but with her comfort bubble gone, her speech wasn’t a reliable asset anymore. She’d always been terrible at communication and even worse at confrontation. And he must’ve known that because he was using it to his advantage— and that was mean, because he knew she would never. He knew. Didn’t he?

“It’s not professional, Y/N, but I’m sure you know that. I’m sure you know that last night wasn’t either, but you keep fucking pushing me.”

And that… well, was partly right.

“I know last night wasn’t…” she shook her head, “it wasn’t professional, I know that. I don’t know why I called you, I don’t get it either, it just happened, really, and I wanted to apologize. I understand if you—“ she peered down toward her hands, swallowing the lump in her throat, “if you don’t feel comfortable with me being here anymore. With your son, I mean, I’d totally understand.”

Y/N thought that was quite sensible of her. Of course, if she could get a chance to have a repeat of last night, she would take it in a heartbeat— but she couldn’t, so this was all she could do. She loved working here, giving it up would hurt, but she understood if that was what needed to be done.

“You just… you can’t fucking call me at three am in the morning drunk off of your arse—“

“I know that—“

“Clearly you don’t!” And she detested how his voice raised. “And clearly you don’t get that there are things you just can’t talk about; like Stacie, or your own relationships, or whatever the fuck else you’ve brought up to me.” If she felt like a scolded child yesterday, then she’d had no idea how bad it could get. “I’m your— I’m your employer, not your fucking therapist. I’m not here to clean up your fuck-ups, pat you on the head and tell you it’s alright.”

Her eyebrows furrowed because she knew that too, and she found it borderline preposterous that he would imply she didn’t.

There was a 180 here, and she was becoming less and less understanding.

“I told you I don’t know why I called you, Harry, I don’t know! What am I supposed to say? I was terrified and sad and don’t ask me why, but you’re the only person who actually gets what I’m talking about half of the time, so it just happened!”

“You act like I’m somehow responsible for you.”

Her frown deepened; she hated the notion that he had to take care of her in some way, as if she was incapable of it on her own account. “On what basis? I think you might be pressuring yourself into that, Harry, because it’s fucking ridiculous. I never made you do anything.”

He released a frustrated breath, “you have to stop worming your way into our lives— you’re our nanny, that’s it. You don’t ask me about my personal life, you don’t call me in the middle of the night to make me worry and you don’t ask me to get into bed with you.”

“You act like I don’t know that!”

“Evidently you don’t.”

“Yes I d—“

“Just—just stop. Stop talking.”

It shut her up. It did not only that, the increase of his volume had made her flinch on the spot. She wasn’t a fan of confrontation, as mentioned before, but what she despised even more was yelling. She couldn’t stand yelling, fighting, accusations being thrown in the air with no regard to anyone’s feelings. It was an extremely sensitive thing for her and she definitely hadn’t expected to experience it with him today.

Y/N saw him a little differently in this light. The sternness with which he delivered those words, strict and mean, reminded her of her childhood. He saw her weakness, saw the stress she was under, and did nothing to relieve the situation. Instead he’d yelled at her.

Her hand was shaking a little and tears were forming in her eyes. She couldn’t let him see it, though, the weakness. She couldn’t allow him to see that a simple instruction had made her want to cry.

“I can’t deal with you today, Y/N, so please just… just go.”

She left without another word— straight up turned around and closed the door behind her with shaky hands. She couldn’t stand him right now, but even more she couldn’t stand herself.

She’d fucked up so badly.

And maybe… maybe she needed to quit.

And there we have it! don’t hate me for that ending it was necessary!

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fic #harry styles concept #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles x plus size reader #harry styles series

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morwap · 11 months

Text

𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍, 𝐀 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐘 𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐍.

regulus black x fem!reader x evan rosier

smut

nav • r.a.b m.list • e.r m.list • poly!revan

sub!regulus, dom!evan, switch!reader, threesome, evan and reg are in the same year as the marauders, praise and degrading, oral m! & f!receiving, p in v, unprotected sex,

───────✧ 𓆩♡𓆪 ✧───────

evan rosier and regulus black.

the two names that have seemed to never leave your brain since the beginning of 8th year. two people you were never supposed to get involved with nor did you think youd ever even talk to without it being harsh words or hex’s but here you were having feelings for and relations with them.

evans dirty blonde curls and regulus’ grey eyes never seemed to leave your mind just like your frame and scent never left theirs, but at least they could express their feelings and needs with each other and you were stuck with inner monologues and your hand to satisfy yourself til the right time came.

one thing you all had in common was your friends hating the other person. evan had gotten more irritable and his patience was wearing thin when Mulciber or barty talked about you and regulus had to stop evan from lashing out at them and starting something that would be hell to finish, it was almost the same with your friends, james’ passive aggressive comments about regulus made you want to put him in his place but you refrained and remus and peter’s comments on evan made your blood boil as they talked shit about something they actually had no idea about.

sirius was a big factor, you knew hed be hurt if he found out you were fucking his brother and his brothers best friend behind his back but you never meant to get tangled up in regulus’ and evans web. the more you thought about it a lot of your friends would be disappointed so maybe that should’ve told you to cut it off after the first time but it was like a drug, the more you tried to stay away the more your want and need for it grew and eventually you gave in.

your bracelet vibrated once more, it was a gift from both of them to help make communicating better.

the three of you finally met up in the prefect bathroom durning dinner one night, regulus happily told you that him and evan were staying an extra day before going home for the break and that you should try so you all could spend time together before leaving.

and now here you were, almost everyone was gone for winter break and you were one of the few gryffindors left but there was just one problem, remus, remus fucking lupin had also decided to stay an extra day because he had been helping ms pince in the library. knowing remus he had the map, and would defiantly check it he if thought you were acting weird.

watching remus from your seat next to the fire, waiting for him to say he was gonna nap or walk around or go to the library, hoping and praying that he would say something like that so you could leave and get to evan and regulus’ dorm as fast as you could. your bracelet buzzed against your skin once more, you already knew which one was trying to give you the green light as to come to them.

normally it was evan, who only buzzed it once and then a second time if you were really really late; but today it was regulus, the constant buzzing at random times indicated that. you’d tease him about it since it seemed as if he couldn’t wait, you could imagine him mumbling the spell on the bracelet they had and waiting for you to show up at the speed of light and then doing it over and over when you were taking your time to get there.

jumping a little when remus coughed and got up and stretched. “i gotta go to the library, wanna meet up and walk to dinner together later?” remus asked, grabbing his wand and book then fixing his shirt while waiting for you to answer.

you nodded, “yeah ill come up to the library so you dont have to walk all the way over to get me” you said and smiled at him. remus nodded and left the common room.

muttering the spell towards the bracelet to let them know you were on your way. waiting a bit so you knew remus was far away before leaving the common room.

the bracelet buzzing again, making you smile and think about how to tease regulus about it in a bit. turning the corner as you kept looking around for any other people but luckily there was no one around.

evan was waiting for you beside slytherin common room, you watched him play with his sleeve before he looked up and saw you.

crossing his arms with a smile on his face as you got closer then reaching out and pulling you to him.

lips already going at each other and hands roaming and gripping at clothing and skin, hungry and needy for each other from being away for so long. the amount of glances and fantasizing while looking at the other person was gone and replaced with what you both desired, the real fucking thing.

pulling away to catch your breath, hands rubbing against his chest as your back was now up against the cold stone.

“you have no idea how much we missed you” evan whispered, his lips coming back to yours for a quick kiss before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours.

“i think i know by how many times hes buzzed me” you quipped, and evan instantly laughed and shook his head.

“i told him to quit, that you’d be here when you’d get here but hes basically cumming in his pants at anything that has to do with you” evan said, the happy tone in his voice made your heart flutter. you giggled and mumbled the spell to the bracelet, sending two buzzes to let him know you were and it buzzed back almost instantly which made you and evan bust out laughing.

“well, lets not leave him waiting” you laughed and took evans hand, pulling him towards the common room door. evan said the password and looked around to see if the common room had anyone in it, luckily no one was in there.

evan guided you to their dorm, all their dorm mates were gone leaving it the perfect spot.

regulus’ leg bounced up and down, he was excited to see you and get off since evan had been denying him since the night they found out they were staying too, no matter how hard regulus begged for evan to touch him or if he wanted to touch himself the answer was “no, you’ll thank me later” and regulus knew he probably would.

evan snuck you into the room, making sure no one would see you in case they just showed up out of nowhere. regulus jumped up when he heard the door click open. a smile coming onto his face almost instantly.

seeing them used to be awkward but now it was just like hanging out with your friends but so much more intimate, you wished you could be around them all the time which is crazy now since almost a year ago you didn’t like them and they did not like you.

the transition from seeing you again to already getting intimate was smooth and quick, it didn't feel forced like you were just there to have sex with them and then leave, it was loving and like you all had come home from a date together.

you sat on the side of evans bed, regulus was on his knees taking your pajama bottoms off, you could see his hard on in his pants.

“reggie you’re already hard, we’ve barely even started” you teased, regulus whined a bit at you pointing it out, he was aching, had been since he knew today was the day you were coming.

“told you he was practically cumming in his pants” evan quipped as he unbuttoned his shirt.

“I wouldn't be if you had let me cum” regulus snapped back, making evan laugh. you smiled then pouted at regulus.

“he’s so mean isn’t he, i’ll make sure you cum tonight baby” you said to him as you took the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up and off him. regulus had scars, not at many as sirius and definitely not as many as remus. he told you about them once, one day on the astronomy tower late into the night.

“thank you” regulus mumbled and side eyed evan. you took off your shirt and looked at evan, he was undoing his pants.

“how about you show her how thankful you really are” evan said with a smirk, regulus looked up at you.

“can i?” he asked, you nodded your head and regulus’ hands went to your panties and pulled them down quickly.

“good boy” evan praises him, your hand went to evans cock which was covered by his boxers. regulus kissed your thighs a few times before licking your slit.

regulus moved your leg over his shoulder, his tongue getting faster as you were getting more turned on. evan leaned down to kiss you, his hand going to your jaw.

you moaned as evan kissed you, regulus’ tongue was lapping at your clit quickly. evans grip on your jaw held you where he wanted you, you continued to touch evans cock.

you pulled down his boxers, he was as hard as regulus now, you broke the kiss and brought your hand to your mouth and spit before stroking his cock.

evan groaned and rolled his head back, you focused on his tip then started stroking him from his base to his tip over and over.

regulus pressed kisses on your clit before sucking then moving down to your entrance. he spread you apart with his fingers, his cock straining in his boxers made him think about touching himself but he wanted to be good for both of you.

“you’re doing so good reggie” you moaned, evan grinned and watched regulus.

a few minutes later you were struggling to keep your hand going, you were so close to cumming, evan knew it and so did regulus, reggie was going faster.

“i think that's enough reg, i think its her turn to make you feel good” evan said, regulus whined and pulled away from you.

regulus leaned up and locked your lips with his, evan started moving his hips while you kept stroking him. regulus pushed himself against his boxers, he was trying so hard to be good.

evan watched you two, his hand moving down to yours, he guided you— making your touches on him more firm. your other hand snaked down into regulus’ boxers and once he felt your soft hand grasping his cock his body shivered and pushed into you.

you could hear evan laugh softly. you smiled as you teased regulus, making him shudder and break the kiss multiple times.

regulus broke the kiss and rested his forehead on your shoulder.

“please—please, keep touching me— i'm almost there” regulus begged, his eyes were closed tightly and he pressed more into you.

you glanced at evan, silently asking for permission.

evan grabbed regulus by his hair gently, pulling his head back to look at him.

“why would you want to cum in her hand when i was gonna let you cum in her” evan asked, cocking his head slightly and furrowing his brows. you stopped touching regulus, pulling your hand out of his boxers.

“what do you wanna do reggie?” you asked him, placing a kiss on his neck.

regulus lets out a sigh, “i wanna cum in you” he says with a nod.

evan let go of regulus’ hair, your hand dropped from evan as he took a step back and walked to the other side of the bed.

“lay down regulus” he commanded, regulus moved from you and got onto the bed, you turned to watch them.

evan guided regulus onto his back, moving his head to hang off the edge of the bed a bit. your hand moved to regulus’ thigh, rubbing up and down and inching closer to his boxers.

you moved closer to regulus, now hooking your fingers on his waist band.

“you remember don’t you? tap my thigh three times for me to stop” evan reminded him, regulus nodded and hummed in agreement, you and regulus made eye contact as you pulled his boxers down to his mid thigh.

“i love you” you mouthed to him, his face went a bit red before he mouthed it back.

evan smiled as you moved to straddle regulus. he leaned towards you, locking your lips with his for a few moments.

he pulled back, “are you ready?” he whispered softly.

“more than ready” you said, pressing one last kiss on his lips before sinking down onto regulus’ cock.

a sigh came from both of you, you hadn’t had him in so long and it just feels so right. regulus was covered in goosebumps, the feeling of you around him felt so good.

evan tapped regulus’ mouth with his cock. “open your mouth baby” he instructed. evan’s cock glided into regulus’ mouth smoothly, regulus was basically trained to take evan, you three just started and regulus was practically deep throating him.

regulus’ eyes closed and he moved one hand to evan’s thigh and the other to yours. you could see the outline of evan’s cock in regulus’ throat which made you wetter. you started moving your body up and down, trying to find the right spot where your clit would make contact with his pubic area.

“you’re doing so good reggie, being so good for us” you praised, your hand rested on his ribs and the other on the bed. evan could feel regulus whimper, the vibrations took some air from him.

“he really liked that” evan groaned out as he fucked regulus’ mouth faster. you could hear noises coming from regulus as he took evans cock, his nails digging into the skin of your thigh.

you threw your head back as you found the right spot, your clit dragging on his skin and his cock hitting your sweet spot. evan watched you, he missed you so much and was so relieved there was time for you three to be together, he didn’t care if you three just sat in silence, he just wanted to be with you and regulus.

“you’re so pretty darling” evan moaned, his hand grasping your neck gently, you smiled at him and leaned closer to him. your head was still a little tilted back and evan bent to meet you halfway. a sloppy kiss broke out between you two, you tried to keep up but with the friction on your clit it was getting harder to keep a clear head.

evan kept his thrusts at a good pace with a few stops in between so regulus could get a breath, he could feel every moan and whimper regulus produced.

you pulled at evans lip with your teeth teasingly.

“i love you” you whispered into the kiss and evan moaned it back.

you gasped when you felt regulus cum inside you, painting your insides with his cum. your cunt basically milked him, it started to run down out of you and onto the part of his shaft that was exposed and down his balls.

reggie was trembling, you could feel it. Now the knot in your stomach was getting tighter, regulus’ hand was gripping your thigh harsher.

you muttered cuss words as you tried to chase your climax, you were close, so close you could feel the beginning of it. you twisted the bed sheets in your fist as you tried to keep the friction on your sensitive clit up.

evan pressed his lips to your forehead, you watched evan’s dick move in regulus’ throat. you knew you were probably overstimulating reggie.

you clenched around his cock which made regulus whine.

you moaned as you clenched harder, you tried to keep moving as you came, trying to get as much stimulation as possible, your muscles tensed up and your abdomen trembled.

evan was soon to follow, his breathing getting quicker as he could barely stand any more stimulation from regulus. his cum shooting down regulus’ throat, he could feel regulus swallowing everything he gave him and once he was empty evan pulled out of regulus’ mouth.

Regulus took in a few deep breaths and coughed a few times. you gently laid on regulus, your head resting on his chest, his cock still in your cunt. regulus’ hand came to your back, tracing shapes on your skin.

“you took me so good reggie, i’m so proud of you baby” evan praised, leaning down to kiss regulus’ forehead.

you hummed in agreement with evan, “we’re both so proud of you” you added. regulus smiled and mumbled a ‘thank you,’ you felt evan place a hand on your head, ruffling your hair.

“you alright darling?” he asked, you smiled and nodded.

“just perfect” you responded.

#regulus black #evan rosier #marauder era #regulus black smut #regulus black x reader smut #evan rosier x reader #regulus black x reader x evan rosier #evan rosier smut #marauders era x reader #regulus black x reader #evan rosier x reader smut #marauders era smut #poly!evan and regulus #poly!revan #poly! evan rosier x regulus #smut #hogwarts smut

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drabblesandimagines · 4 months

Text

Dove (part six)

Leon Kennedy x female reader - the slowest, slow burn I swear Part one. Part two. Part three. Part four. Part five.

After the two of you had finished dinner, you’d began clicking through the channels in search of something to watch. It was far too early to go to bed, or even pretend to go to it - you’d just be staring at the ceiling, alone with your thoughts. Leon had insisted on taking the dishes to the kitchen despite your offer to help, said he’d leave them in the sink to soak. You know that’s a task you’re not going to be able to handle until your arm is free of the sling, fingers unsplintered. You want to say you’ll do all the cooking and cleaning when you can, but that implies that you think you’ll still be in the safe house, with him, in however long it’ll take to be free of the sling...

By all intents and purposes, Leon had planned to wait until you’d gone to bed to pull together his report, but the fact that Hunnigan hadn’t replied to his text yet was giving him an unsettled feeling in his gut. Maybe she was doing it on purpose, tit for tat - no information for him until he gave information to her.

After setting the dishes and pan in soapy water to return to later, he’d come back to the sofa and picked the laptop up off the coffee table, almost reluctantly.

“Er, I’m gonna start my report now, if that’s all right?”

You look at him, noting the laptop now tucked under his arm. The report, of course – he hadn’t typed it up yet, couldn’t have, not when you’d sobbed and then napped all over him.

It’s like emotional whiplash - the soft, almost domestic moments where you could pretend this whole situation was normal - it’s dinner and a movie with a friend, first date vibes but both of you too cautious to make a move.

And then there’s the startling reminder that, no, actually, you’re not even home, in a one-bedroom bungalow, no idea where you are in the state, or what state, with a man, a bodyguard you hardly know, after very nearly being murdered the day before and could possibly be murdered in the days to come.

You must’ve stared too long in response as he raises his arm to rub the back of his head – you wonder if it’s a nervous habit.

“It’s nothing to worry about, Dove. The report’s just a formality after the interview earlier, and it’s better that I submit today. It’s fine if you’d prefer not to be in the room, though. If you’re not comfortable, I can wait until you’ve gone to bed.”

“Oh… No, go ahead.”

“Are you sure? I’ll be listening over the audio again but I’ll use headphones, so…”

“Yeah. It’s fine – needs to be done, as you said.” You smile, turning your head back to the TV to end the conversation.

Leon had sat on the other couch, laptop resting on his knees, plugged in a pair of in-ear headphones. For over an hour, you’d heard him tap away at the keys, brows furrowed in concentration when you’d chance a look his way. The last few times his eyes haven’t been on the laptop screen but that of the TV, watching the dumb romance movie you’d settled on during your channel searching, hoping it would prove a good distraction.

“Leon…” You feel rude for interrupting his work, but he’d tugged out an earbud, hasn’t typed anything in a good while now, definitely not since the last ad break.

Not that you were keeping track.

“Mm?” He hums in response.

“Can I…?” He looks over as you clear your throat - start over. “Can I ask you something? If you’ve got a minute.”

There it is - the encouraging smile. “Of course, Dove.”

“It’s going to sound stupid, but those things – were they BOWs?”

“The Lickers?” The smile drops as he tugs out the other earbud. “Yeah, they are.”

“Lickers?” It sounds too cutesy for what they are, like a lollipop brand for kids and not indescribable monstrosities.

“There’s probably some scientific name that Umbrella would use, but that term came from a cop that first saw them in the Raccoon City Police Department. I guess we kinda kept the name as a weird tribute.”

“Right.” Maybe it was the cop’s way of trying to make them less terrifying on first sight.

“Why do you ask?”

“I didn’t think BOWs were actually…” You swallow, though you know it’s not going to dislodge the lump in your throat now. “..things, if that makes sense. Like, I knew we were trying to protect the public from biological warfare threats, but I thought it was man-made diseases, or poisoning the water supply… That sort of stuff.”

“You’re not wrong. Those things were once human, mutated by a man-made virus. I’ve had a fair amount of experience with different iterations of the virus over the years, unfortunately.”

“Mutated…?” You feel sick as the image once again flashes in your mind’s eye, the grotesque features of the Lickers juxtaposed with those of humans, your colleagues… “Fuck.”

“Yeah - fuck.”

“God,” you exhale, but it doesn’t feel enough. “I’ve been so naïve to what I’ve even been doing all these years - I didn’t know what we were actually trying to prevent.”

“You sound like you think you’ve been doing something wrong.”

“Well, maybe I have.” You protest. “What if I missed something that led to that the other day?”

“You did not miss anything.” He says firmly, closing the laptop – you’re not sure if he’s concluded his report or not. “Is that what happened to everyone - they were infected and then they mutated into those… those things?” You can’t bring yourself to say the identifier out loud.

“No, Dove, the… The bodies they recovered matched with the amount of people signed into the premises. Excluding you, obviously.”

“So, someone brought them there and set them on us?”

“Maybe. They’re still working on how they got in the building. They don’t exactly use doors, so…” He laughs, though it’s half-hearted.

The lump feels too big in your throat, tears burn at your eyes as you drop your head down but you know you’re not quick enough.

Leon stands, soft footsteps on the carpet as he circles round the coffee table and sits down a cushion’s width away from you.

“Sorry – it was a bad joke.”

You shake your head, sniffling a little, eyes fixed on your thighs. “No, it’s not that, or you. It’s so stupid, but I wish I could go back and stop it…”

“I know.” He places a hand down on the sofa, swivels his knees in your direction. “But it doesn’t help to think like that – trust me. And I know it’s hard, but you’ve got to keep going.”

“And you’ve faced those things before.”

“More times than I’d like to count.”

“How do you stop them?” You look up then, wiping away the tears from your cheek with the heel of your left hand.

“You couldn’t have done anything differently back there, if that’s what you’re thinking. A couple of gunshots to the head or an explosion is the only thing that’ll stop them.”

“You can’t… you know, turn them back?”

He shakes his head, looking solemn. “Afraid not.”

“Maybe for the best. I don’t think I’d want to be turned back if I’d…” If you’d ripped off your colleague’s head.

“Hey, that is not going to happen to you.” He leans forward, places his hand on your knee - having you fall asleep in his arms earlier has removed all sort of boundaries, it seems. “I promise.”

You shake your head then. “You can’t promise that.”

“I can. I am going to keep you safe.” He pauses – wind it in a little, Kennedy. “And if it makes you feel better, you won’t be the first. Want my credentials? I rescued the President’s daughter from a cult, got her home safe.”

“The President’s daughter?” You hadn’t heard about that, but then again why would you? Probably wouldn’t want it announced to the world that the leader of the free world’s daughter had been abducted.

“Mm. She had a codename and all – Baby Eagle.”

“But you would know her name.”

“Yeah, but still used codenames on official comms.”

“So, what would happen if I told you my name?”

“Er, well, I’d…” There’s the arm raise, rubbing the back of his neck again. “I’d have to report in to HQ that your identity had been compromised, I’d be redeployed elsewhere and you’d get a new security detail.”

“Why?”

“Part of your protection is that I’m not a risk of revealing your identity if hostile forces used… certain methods of interrogation if we were to be captured.”

Your stomach twists at the code. “Torture?”

“I suppose.” He shrugs, like he’s going to collect your mail or water your plants when you’re on vacation as a favour.

“No, you can’t… How can you shrug at the prospect of being tortured for me? You don’t even know me.”

Leon wants to say he does know you, not completely but there’s things he’s picked up over the course of the day that he feels reasonably confident on. You don’t do good with sitting idle, has the feeling you keep yourself busy when you’re not locked in four walls. He got the feeling you’re thorough and proud of your work, or you were before this doubt crept in.

You like coffee with a splash of creamer, honey in your oatmeal. You don’t have any close friends or family nearby that will be wondering why you’ve gone AWOL just yet… ..and you’re definitely single, because if you had someone waiting at home you would’ve mentioned it they spoke about whisking you away to a safe house, or when Hunnigan said she was going to search your place.

He smiles. “I know you don’t deserve any of what’s happened to you over the last 24 hours, and that’s reason enough.”

“How can you be so sure I don’t?”

“Experience, Dove. Been in this line of work for a long time and, more importantly, I’ve been where you’ve been, okay?”

“Okay.” You nod, relenting. “Sorry, my head’s just…”

He squeezes your knee. “I know.”

You leave the bathroom later that evening – Leon had ducked in at some point and prepared your toothbrush again – and find him leaned over the sink, scrubbing at a pan and a cloth draped over his shoulder. He’s left out the medicine – two painkillers, two sleeping pills - on the counter, next to a glass of water. It feels oddly domesticated again for what all of this is.

You walk over to the counter, slowly, as he continues washing the dishes.

“I forgot to ask earlier. Have there been any updates?”

He turns, gives you a sympathetic smile. “Not yet. But it’s only the first full day of the investigation, so I’m sure I’ll hear something soon, especially since I’ve sent the report over.”

He’d sent it whilst you were in the bathroom, half-expected Hunnigan to ring right there and then but his cell had remained silent, so he’d moved his attention to the dishes.

“Yeah, suppose other things will take precedence too.” Other things meaning families to inform… What would they tell them?

You take a swig of water before picking up the pills, swallowing them all down in one. Knowing how quick the sleeping aids helped yesterday, you’re aware there’s only a limited time before you’ll feel the effects kick in.

“Well, goodnight, Leon.”

“Wait a sec.” He pulls the cloth off his shoulders and hurriedly dries his hands as you watch on, curiously. He fiddles with the watch around his wrist, pressing a button on the side, then undoing the strap before he holds it out to you. “Here, so you can tell the time. I know there’s no clock in there, so…”

You stare at the offering, not raising your hand to take it. “But what about you?”

“Got my cell.” He pats his pocket, then holds the watch out again. “It’s yours, if you want it.”

You step forward to take it, gripping it a little too tightly in your fingers. It must be your imagination because it feels warm, but that can’t be right.

“Sleep well, Dove.”

Without another thought, you lean up on your tip-toes and press a kiss on his stubbled cheek.

“Thank you.”

You swivel on your heels and walk into the bedroom, closing the door without looking back, missing out on the sight of a flustered DSO agent in the kitchen.

If it wasn’t for the sleeping pills now coursing their way through your system, you would’ve been up for hours longer, heart pounding at what you just did. Instead, you climb into bed, close your eyes and it isn’t long at all until sleep washes over you, his watch still clasped in your hand.

Leon’s phone finally vibrates with Hunnigan’s caller ID as he enters back into the living area after finishing his perimeter check. Had to do two rounds of the building because he knew he was too distracted on the first by your kiss, admonishing himself for being so put out of joint by a simple gesture. After his second, more thorough check of the area and confident there was still no sign of any unwanted guests, he’d headed back into the building, making sure everything was locked up before he answered the call – placing the phone up to his ear on the opposite cheek that you had kissed.

“Hunnigan!” He answers, a little too jovial, would lower if his voice if he wasn’t confident you’ll be fast asleep by the amount of time that’s passed since you took your medication. “I was getting worried you’d forgotten all about me.”

“I’m sure.” Her voice is a little tense, but he can tell she’s tired. “Just finished your report.”

“And?”

“Well, it’s not exactly airtight.”

He rubs the bridge of his nose, holding in a sigh. “What happened to innocent before proven guilty?”

“That’s why I’ve put Dove in a safehouse with you, rather than in a cell.”

“So, restrictions remain?”

“Restrictions remain.”

He rolls his eyes, grateful it’s not a video call. “Did you search her place?”

“Unfortunately not. The President wanted the surveillance department back up and running ASAP, so all available manpower had been diverted to that. The tech analyst, however, has confirmed that the breach on the database yesterday wasn’t what you’d call successful.”

Leon walks around the sofa, drops on it a little too heavy. “You don’t sound particularly thrilled by that.”

“I’m not - the attempt itself was successful, but as soon as the system detected the forced entry, it wiped itself. Every subject that was still under surveillance has been lost.”

“Maybe that’s what they were trying to achieve.” He frowns. “Is there seriously no back-up server?”

“Analyst seemed to think it was their protocol, but it’s just a theory. Everyone who knew exactly how that division had their server set up is no longer with us.”

There’s a pause and he can hear Hunnigan tapping away at her keyboard as usual. “There is something I need to inform you of, though.”

“Right.”

“The tech analyst found the CCTV feeds have been tapped. They couldn’t trace where the feed was being diverted to, but it was definitely a system not within the DSO infrastructure. It’d been active since the attack, but they cut the connection when they discovered it.”

Leon frowns. “So, you’re saying that whoever orchestrated the attack could’ve been watching the cameras since.”

“Mm.”

“And if their objective was to leave no survivors…” Leon’s eyes focus on your bedroom door.

Hunnigan stops typing. “They’ll know they’ve failed.”

Part seven.

Masterlist . Requests welcome . Commissions/Ko-Fi

Comments, follows, likes and reblogs make my day!

#ghostdogwrites #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you

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melrodrigo · 7 months

Text

favorite - t.c.

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: After a day of feeling useless, Tara’s the only one who can make you feel better.

Pairings: Slight Amber Freeman x Reader in the beginning, Tara Carpenter x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k+

A/N: Am I projecting? Maybe. Tara’s my bbg 🫶🏻

Amber

YN - Why do you only want me when you have nothing else to do?

You bite your lip as you hit send, swiping out the app as fast as you can to try and quell the feeling of regret you know is coming.

Your lover of sorts, Amber Freeman, had been acting weird lately.

You’re not sure what to call the two of you, best friends that kiss each other? friends with benefits? two buddies in a situationship?

All very accurate descriptions, you think as you laugh bitterly.

It had been weeks of bliss at first, with flirty comments, secret kisses, and love notes stashed in your locker.

But for the past few days, she’s been awful. Gone are the nights spent giggling together on your couch while you watch a movie, gone are the butterflies whenever you see her name pop up on your screen.

She’s quiet. It makes you uneasy.

At first, you tried to ignore it, think to yourself she must be busy.

She loves me, she’ll answer, you reason.

Nothing hurts more than being proven wrong.

A - I think we should stop talking.

YN- What? Why? Can’t we talk this out?

A - I wanted to tell you a couple of days ago in person but…I’m sorry. I just don’t like you anymore. I met someone else.

You blink back the tears already welling in your eyes. You shut your phone off, refusing to answer, part of you hoping she might beg for your forgiveness after seeing you upset.

Nothing.

Your chest heaves as the hole in your chest deepens.

How could she? After everything you’d been through together. Especially after the Ghostface attacks last year, you’d hoped she cared a little more.

You’d been the one to warn her, even. When she told you she had feelings for you, you’d made her promise that she swore they were true. You weren’t taking a chance on a ‘maybe’.

But alas, your moon-eyed perspective had affected your decision-making skills. She’d told you she loved you, and that she was going to be your girlfriend, and you had believed her.

You fall back onto your bed. Hands pressed to your forehead harshly as you think.

You pick up your phone once more, ignoring all thoughts that tell you this is a horrible idea, and call her up.

“Hey. Thanks for coming.” You tell Tara as you step back to let her in. She’s dressed in an oversized AC/DC t-shirt paired with gray sweatpants.

Her hair is slightly messy like she’s just woken up from a nap. You curse as you catch yourself thinking about how cute she looks.

“No problem.” She tells you without missing a beat, walking into your house and up to your room like it’s her second home.

You and Tara had a history.

All throughout grade school, you had the biggest crush on the brunette, but she never reciprocated. Not that you ever told her about it. Later, when both of you were in high school, she confessed that she liked you.

You were so confused between your feelings for Amber and for her back then, you ended up never giving her a clear answer. And after time, the two of you just started to drift away.

But you wouldn’t be able to say that the underlying feeling she was the one wasn’t always simmering within you.

Your feelings for Tara were something that could never be explained. Not even to your best friends over the years, who would hear endless rants about the girl.

She was just so, perfect.

Well- nobody was perfect; you knew that. She was always somewhat of a rebel throughout your school years. But you found her imperfections endearing, which only made her more human and in turn, more perfect to you.

It didn’t help that she also looked like an angel that had fallen from the skies.

In short, Tara Carpenter was an enigma. You’ve had crushes before, of course. But this one, you think will never go away. Whether you viewed her from a romantic or platonic lens, all you could feel was adoration. You were incredibly fond of the girl.

You snap out of your daze and follow her upstairs, closing the door behind you.

“So, you wanna tell me what this is about?” She says, not unkindly.

You play with the hairs on the nape of your neck as you answer her.

“I’ve just been feeling…sort of weird. I needed some company.” You tell her, somewhat awkwardly,

“And nobody else was free?” She prods, her eyes filling with an emotion you can’t quite place.

You look down shyly as you shake your head. “No, I wanted you to come.” You mumble, loud enough for her to hear.

You sneak a peek at her expression and relax once you see she’s smiling.

“Good. ‘Cause I’ve been missing you.” She says, grinning.

Her words make you feel like a weight’s been taken off your shoulders. Everything’s normal. Everything’s good.

You relax, moving over to join her on the bed.

“I missed you too.” You say.

She doesn’t miss a beat before she reaches for your TV remote and pushes herself further up your bed. She takes her hair out of the bun it was in and whips out her glasses.

She never likes to wear it because she thinks it makes her look nerdy, but you think it’s the cutest thing.

“You sure are making yourself at home.” You murmur, earning a soft slap from the girl.

“Hey! This is how you’re supposed to experience a movie.“ She says, nudging herself into your bedsheets.

You scoff as you join her and place your leg over her own.

“Who said we were going to watch a movie?” You challenge, raising a brow at her.

She shrugs, unserious. “I figured I’d take the lead. You need a distraction, and you weren’t doing anything…so.”

You nudge her with your shoulder one more time before settling in beside her, not willing to debate.

She scrolls on your TV a little while longer before you nearly leap out of your seat as you see your favorite movie pass.

You open your mouth to force her to pick it, but she buts in before you can get a word out.

“Yes, I know it’s your favorite movie. I’m putting it on now, shush.” She teases, smirking slightly.

You relent without a word.

Halfway through the movie, you can tell Tara’s getting sleepy. Her eyes droop and her head is falling further into the pillow.

You bite back a chuckle and pull out your phone, ready to take a photo that’ll surely embarrass the brunette.

She stirs in her sleep when the flash goes out, looking up at you groggily.

You panic and shove the phone underneath you, moving over to do anything to distract her. You don’t have enough time to think, you surge forward and press your lips to her forehead.

Her eyes widen, no doubt wondering what the hell you’re doing.

A forehead kiss? Yeah, that isn’t suspicious at all!

She’s still still under you, blinking slowly.

“Go back to sleep Tar.” You mumble against her skin, using a nickname you haven’t called her in ages.

It works though. You feel her physically relax and in the next few minutes, she’s fast asleep against you once again, this time with her arm wrapped around your waist.

You feel your cheeks get hot and thank the gods that nobody can see you.

You watch as the credits of the movie finally roll, and you feel the tiresome events of the day finally catch up to you.

You look down at Tara, studying her features. You want to reach out and touch her freckles, but you resist the urge.

Whatever Tara Carpenter was to you didn’t matter today, you reason. The only thing that matters is that she’s here, and she’s made you feel better than you have in months. Friend or something more, she’ll always be the one to brighten your day.

#tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #wednesday addams x reader #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter x you #scream vi #mine

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adventuringblind · 2 months

Text

Medication Mishaps

Landoscar x Reader

Genre: Fluff and Crack

Summary: When a mix-up in meds leaves her without any, Lando and Oscar are there to her navigate without them.

Warnings:

Notes: for @norizznorris. Sorry I don't do male readers! Regardless, I hope this is what you wanted! :)

Side Note: This one made me laugh the entire time while writing it. My fiancé is unmedicated and very high on the ADHD spectrum. Every day is an adventure!

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Ah, the joys of being neurodivergent. When somehow the world is to much and simultaneously to little. When the nagging impulsive thoughts and continues need for caffeine aren't enough, then the interests that lay dormant for years come back swinging; upset they've been neglected for so long.

Medication helps. Which - of course it does - it's engineered brain chemicals in the form of a chalky pill designed to help someone function in a world where only one kind of brain is excepted. It's better than it was, the world has come further in recent years.

yet here she is, taking her last pill from the bottle. A little piece in her cries knowing she'll have to go pick up her new meds today. The pharmacy feels like to much and she'd rather lay in bed and give into the executive dysfunction. Then she remembers she's flying with Lando and Oscar to their race tomorrow.

With that thought in mind, she groans and hauls herself out of bed. The boys are doing factory work today and won't be back until later. Plenty of time to come home and waste away the hours in bed and pray her energy comes back.

~~~~~

She lied to herself earlier. Any optimism for the day has just disappeared.

"What do you mean you don't have my meds?"

"There was a mix-up with the orders, but we'll have them in a few days." The pharmacist gives her a sheepish smile.

She just sighs and turns on the balls of her feet. How she's going to tell her boys, she has no idea yet. The insecurity of them not wanting her around the paddock because of in burns in the back of her mind.

She still has today at least. Maybe she'll just ride it out and not tell them.

That plan fails miserably the second they walk into the flat. The sight of her visibly distressed on the couch alerts them that something is wrong.

The sit down on either side of her. The question trying to escape their mouths. She beats them to it. "There was a mix-up with my meds. I won't have them until after we get back."

"And we'll help you manage, yeah? You'd do the same for us."

"Lan... she has done the same for you, like, daily."

"Rude!"

~~~~~

Sometimes, she's convinced she lives on a different planet entirely. Like the brain and body she has are simply not meant to be here and there must have been a mistake with the storks.

Lando hands her a Redbull, courtesy of Max since he has to many. "I figured this might help?" Seeing as she nearly just threw hands with whoever was chewing unnecessarily loudly, caffeine might help.

She looks at Lando and Oscar, between the three of them, there are seven drinks. Only one of which is the Aussie's. "Oscar is being boring again."

the man in question huffs. "Water is good for you."

"But it's wretched to taste sometimes."

Lando nods at her in agreement. "See Oscar, boring."

"Nothing is ever boring with you two."

~~~~~

The beginning wasn't bad. Not like it is right now with her brain only wanting to do one specific things, she hasn't remember to eat since early this morning, and the tag on her shirt makes her want to pull her skin off.

Oscar looks at her curled up in his drivers room with a horrendous amount of care and sympathy. He slots in next to her and leans his head against the wall. "Hard day?"

"I need like - five pounds of dino nuggies and a nap."

"Anything I can do to help right now? We'll work on food when Lando is done."

She curls up in Oscar's lap like a cat. The lack of regulated sleep finally catching up to her. She's on the verge of sleep when Lando busts through the door yelling about something.

She throws a pillow at him in annoyance. "You owe me food."

Lando pauses. "That sounds brilliant."

Oscar shakes his head in defeat later that night as Lando gradually sneaks food off her plate and pretends they can't see him. If he's not caught then it didn't happen and Jon can't get mad at him.

~~~~~

She hasn't stopped talking with Lando for the last two hours. What exactly they've been going on about, she has no idea at this point. Their original conversation led to rabbit trails and other distractions that got in the way. The original story now long forgotten as they discuss the possibilities for new shoes.

Her phone dings, an automated message alerting her to her refilled meds. She shows Lando in excitement. The joys of functioning like a human again are nearly in her grasp.

Lando and Oscar both look at her in amusement. The latter has been using their conversation as an excuse to read. He sets his book down, a look she hasn't seen before crossing his features.

"Have you ever thought what it would be like if you didn't have to take meds?"

Lando shoots him a nasty glare. "Oi, she can't help-"

"Not what I meant." The Aussie crashes onto the bed with them, book now tucked away. "I just mean that having a different kind of brain shouldn't be such a difficult thing for the world to cope with. But the second someone is different-" He looks at Lando. "-Like they struggle with reading or processing information." Then he turns to her. "Or they struggle to with focusing and sensory things. They are ready to create some kind of fix to make those brains work like theirs." The genuine concern and sadness from him is almost heartbreaking.

"In a perfect world, yes. For now though, I think me and Lando can both settle for having someone who cares as much as you do."

"Just wish I could do more."

Lando hums and, quite literally, rolls over onto Oscar. "Just like our best is enough, so is yours."

"However, if the world could provide me with free drinks, I wouldn't be complaining."

Oscar chuckles and drags her closer despite Lando's weight on him. "I'll make a note of it for when I become ruler of the world."

"You never said you were planning that!"

"It's been my secret plan this whole time."

"... It's always the quiet ones."

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absurdthirst · 4 months

Text

Unexpectedly Reunited {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 15.5k

Warnings: No Outbreak AU, cheating, infidelity, surprise reunions, flirting, mentions of loss of a child, seemingly unrequited love, past crushes, abandonment, fingering, vaginal sex, rougher sex, oral sex (female and male receiving), cum eating, feelings, miscommunication, angst, degrading comments

Comments: Running away to the Cape, you find someone you had never expected to see again. Joel Miller. The blast from the past manages to heal your broken heart and you learn where life has taken him to bring him here.

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

"You motherfucker!" You yell at your boyfriend who is currently buried inside of the co-worker he told you to not worry about despite you discovering him in your bed after you decided to surprise him with lunch since he works at home. He scrambles, pulling out of Sienna and you shake your head, "it's over. Get your shit out of my apartment. Today." You shriek and he covers himself up with the blanket you got from your mom for your birthday.

"Baby please. Let me just-" He tries to explain but you cut him off.

"Today, Jason. Today!" You yell, spinning on your heel and you rush out of your apartment with tears in your eyes. You sob as you get into your car, the lunch abandoned in the kitchen and you're no longer hungry. You sit there for hours, watching from afar as Jason moves his stuff from your place and you call your mom to tell her what happened.

"I always told you he was a piece of shit, baby. He's an asshole. You're better off without him. Better to find this out now instead of later." She says softly. "Your aunt has that place on the Cape and she's in Italy for the next two weeks. Why don't you go there? Go relax and get out of town. Take time to get yourself together." She suggests.

The Cape, the idea has a certain appeal. Texas is currently hot, too hot, and you don’t want to be anywhere near your old group of friends and acquaintances. People that know Jason. People that might pity you, or secretly approve of him cheating on you. You imagine walking along the beach and letting the salty air seep into your skin. Maybe read a few books in a lounger and find some bar where you can just have a few drinks. Or, the house is nice, maybe you will just sit out on the deck and drink wine. “I guess. If I leave now, I could be there late tomorrow. Are you sure she won’t mind?”

Your mom snorts through the line and you can imagine her face. “Of course not. Get your bag packed and get on the road. The key is in a little box on the garage door. Combination to open it is 9-26-13.”

You sigh, watching as Jason closes the truck of the car with the last of his stuff. “Thanks mom, I’ll be on the road in twenty minutes. I don’t want to spend a night in that bed. I’m going to have to order another one.”

When you arrive at your aunt’s house; you are exhausted and waste no time showering and getting into bed. The emotional drain of the past 36 hours is too much and you take a nap. When you wake up, it’s late and you have some of the snacks you brought with you while on the road. You’ll go food shopping tomorrow. You eventually fall back asleep, eager to explore tomorrow which comes far too soon when you’re woken up by drilling. You startle awake, checking the clock to see it’s 7:30 am and you whine, rubbing your eyes as you shuffle out of the bed, ready to reprimand the asshole who is drilling next door.

“Goddamn header.” Joel grunts out a curse, taking his hand off the hammer drill he had been using to wipe the sweat that is rolling into his eyes. “Send me some fuckin’ lumber that’s straight and I’ll fix the goddamn thing.” High up on the scaffolding, he’s cursing everyone from the lumber distributor to himself for taking this job. It’s been a shit show and it doesn’t seem like anything is going to go his way today.

You wrap your robe around yourself and huff as you stomp outside, raising your hand to cover your eyes from the early morning sun as you look up at the scaffolding. “Excuse me!” You yell and Joel continues drilling. “Excuse me!” You yell again and the drilling continues. “Fuck me!” You scream and the drilling stops.

“That’s a mighty nice offer darlin’ but I barely know you.” Joel jokes as he removes his headset.

“Why the hell are you drilling at this time in the morning?” You yell at him and he sets the drill down so he can climb down the scaffolding to talk to you. You wait, tapping your foot impatiently.

“I was hired to do this job. I have a permit. I am starting early to avoid the rain this afternoon. Not that I have to explain myself to - wait…do I know you?” Joel asks, frowning as he removes his sunglasses to get a better look at you.

When it dawns on him who you are, his eyes widen and he murmurs your name. Never expecting to see you again. “Holy shit. What are you doing on the east coast?” He asks when he can speak again. The last time he had seen you was at his wedding. After that day, you had just….ghosted him, making him feel like your friendship had meant nothing.

As soon as he says your name you recognize him. “Joel? Joel Miller?” You gasp in shock. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the man that was your teenage crush. He was your next door neighbor and a lot older than you but you always had such a massive crush on him. You became friends after you got back from college to live with your parents again and that’s when you truly fell in love with him. Then he met Helen and you knew he would never feel the same way. Resigned to being his friend, you supported him but always secretly hoped he’d realize what was right in front of him. He didn’t and you ended up leaving town after watching him marry Helen on a beautiful summer day. He’s just as handsome. Shit, just as sexy. “I- this is my aunt’s house. You know the one who is a journalist.” You explain, “I- I came here to escape the Texas heat.” You lie, “what the hell are you doing here?” You ask, genuinely curious how a typical Texan like Joel is in the northeast.

Joel’s expression shutters, his eyes flattening slightly and he grunts. “Work.” He lies, having sensed you are lying too. You have puffy eyes, like you’ve been spending a lot of time crying, though you’re still just as beautiful as the last time he saw you. “Like I’m tryin’ to do now. But it’s a bitch and-“ he twists his neck towards the dark clouds rolling in from the west. “I want to get this sealed up before the rain starts.”

You nod, “I understand. Sorry for yelling. I just got in last night from Texas and I’m exhausted from driving nonstop. I didn’t expect the work to be done so early. I’m awake now, so carry on. I’m gonna get some coffee. Anywhere local you’d recommend?” You ask when his eyes meet yours once more and you are taken back by how handsome he is. Your memories did him no justice.

He feels bad for being rude, sighing slightly and wiping his forehead again. “Two blocks over there’s a dinner called The Fungus Among Us.” He tells you with a grin. “Vegan place, really into mushrooms, but they have great coffee. You just have to use their non-dairy creamers.”

The last person you expected to frequent a vegan cafe is Joel who used to enjoy platefuls of barbecue at the family cookouts back when you were younger and you chuckle, “you gone vegan on me?” You ask and he shakes his head, “no. Still love some ribs but I can appreciate good coffee.” You hum and he shrugs. “I’m gonna go get changed. You want me to bring you a coffee back?” You offer, wanting to make up for being rude.m

“I’m good.” He looks up towards the sky again. “Too fuckin’ hot for coffee up here.” He looks back down and smirks slightly. “Hurry up before you get wet. New England summer showers are no joke.”

You nod, “I’ll be fast. I, uh, I’ll see you around. It was great to see you again.” You wave awkwardly at him as he flips his sunglasses back down. You aren’t sure if he’s married or has kids or what his situation is so you don’t want to overstep by suggesting a reunion of some kind.

“See you around, sweetheart.” Joel says and you offer him a smile, “bye Joel.” You say as you head back into your aunts house to get ready.

He won’t deny that he watches you when you re-emerge from the large cottage next door, or as you walk down the street. His eyes follow you as he takes what he tells himself is a five minute break. He was rude to you. And the Joel you had known wouldn’t have done that. He sighs, twisting around and trying to pop his aching back before he glances at the cloud again. They are rolling in fast and he only has about twenty minutes to finish up for the day. “Shit, Miller, get to work.”

You return back with your coffee - a good recommendation from Joel - and you’re disappointed when you don’t see him working. You feel the droplets of rain and decide to have your coffee then go grocery shopping after the rain has come and gone.

****

The drilling happens a little later around 8:45am the next morning and you look out of the bathroom window to see Joel working on the house. He lifts his shirt up to wipe his face and you can’t deny that your jaw drops. He’s still as sexy as you ever thought he was but then you remind yourself that he’s married and you shake your head to clear your lust. You decide to walk to the coffee shop again and head outside just as Joel jumps from the last section of scaffolding. “Sure I can’t get you a coffee?” You ask him, “I’m gonna head over there now.”

“I think I owe you a drink, since I was kind of an ass yesterday.” Joel admits, shuffling slightly and wiping his hands on a work rag before tossing it down. “I’ve got a few minutes, can walk over there with you, if you want?” He leaves it up to you, knowing that you might not want to do anything more than be nice.

You offer him a smile, “I’d like that.” You say and he nods, grabbing his keys and he yells out to his partner to keep an eye on things. You walk along with him and you’re quiet for a minute or so before you ask “so how long have you lived here?”

It takes Joel a moment to think back and he sighs. “Fuck.” He snorts. “Nearly ten years? Hard to think about but I’ve not even seen you in nearly twenty-five.” He wants to ask why you just stopped talking to him and coming around after he had married Helen. He hadn’t even been able to tell you that she had been a few months pregnant because his wife had wanted to keep it silent until after the first trimester.

"Has it really been that long?" You shake your head, "I- wow. It feels like yesterday you were just getting married. Is Helen enjoying it here?" You ask, not noticing his lack of wedding band but you haven't really had a chance to look at his hands.

Joel snorts. “Helen left me when-” He breaks off and there’s that familiar ache in his chest at the thought of Sarah. “A year after we got married. Don’t know where she’s at, don’t really care, if I’m honest.” She had abandoned her child, something that he could never understand or accept. “What about you? Sure you’re married and happy, husband on a business trip and you decided to take a vacation?”

It’s your turn to snort, “no. No. I, uh, I haven’t been married. I - I walked in on my boyfriend fucking his coworker in my apartment so I told him to pack his shit and be gone by the time I get back. Decided to take a break to avoid the pity looks and whispers around town.” You confess, glancing down the street as you adjust your purse on your shoulder.

“Wow. You must have been with a real douche bag.” Joel scoffs. “I can’t believe anyone would be stupid enough to cheat on you. There’s no fucking way he’s right in the head.” He shakes his head and huffs. “Idiot. I’m sorry, I know you don’t want to hear that. But that bastard didn’t deserve you.”

You offer him a self deprecating smile. “I appreciate you being pissed for me. I pretty much cried the entire way to the Cape. I- I thought he was gonna propose. I’m an idiot. I believed all his lies and I- I thought he was going to be the one.” You shake your head at your own stupidity. “Well, at least someone to spend the rest of my life with.”

“You’ll find someone better.” He predicts. “Someone who cheats on you isn’t worth your time. Or your tears.” Joel looks over at you and gives you a small smile. “Maybe you’ll find one of those romance story type guys here on the Cape.”

You chuckle, “who is already married or has more skeletons in his closet than a haunted house. I think I’ll accept the reality that I’m destined to be alone and I think I’m okay with that. It’s not too bad. Getting to do whatever you want without answering to anyone. Romance is - it’s just something they sell to give people hope.” You confess with a sigh, “I’ll stick to reading about it in novels.” You chuckle softly and turn into the coffee shop, about to open the door but Joel does a little jog to open it before you can. “Don’t lose hope. You never know who’s gonna appear.” He says and you bite your lip as you brush past him, knowing he’s the man you’ve always envisioned when you read those romance novels.

The inside of the cafe is trendy, quirky. It seems like a place where Joel would look completely out of place with his buttoned up shirt and jeans, heavy boots. No one has given him shit about it and been friendly, even though he stays away from a lot of their menu. “Have you tried the muffins? They are pretty good.”

You shake your head, “no. I had the chia pudding the other day.” You giggle when he wrinkles his nose. “The blueberry muffin sounds good.” You hum, crossing your arms, “and a latte. You seem like a black coffee kind of guy.”

“Only way to drink coffee.” Joel agrees with a smirk. He guides you to a table and pulls out a chair for you. “I know you probably like all those syrups and half pump venti shits.” He rolls his eyes, although he likes the way you sound when you snicker.

“I’m a vanilla girl.” You reveal and Joel raises his eyebrows playfully. “For my coffee order.” You clarify with a smirk and he walks over to the counter to order your drinks and he returns with a blueberry muffin for you. “You didn’t have to pay.” You shake your head and he shrugs, “to make up for the early morning wake up calls.” He explains and You offer him a soft smile, reaching out to touch his hand, “thank you. I- I’ve missed you, you know?”

“You missed me so much you just….disappeared?” Joel asks, wanting to know why. “I tried calling you a couple of times. Wanted you to come out with me and Helen to dinner. You just didn’t ever call me back.”

You sigh, withdrawing your hand. “I…it was complicated.” You glance around the coffee shop, feeling his eyes burn into you. “I couldn’t stay after you…I had to get out of town and figure out what I wanted. I’m sorry I disappeared but it was for the best. You had a new life…a wife. You didn’t need me hanging around.”

It’s not an answer that satisfies him, but from the set of your jaw, you won’t give him a proper explanation. “I- you missed a lot, obviously. I had wanted to tell you that Helen was pregnant. We weren’t announcing it before the ceremony.”

You swallow harshly, not realizing that he’s a father. “Did Helen…you have a - wow. That’s - I didn’t know. No one told me - my parents didn’t tell me anything. I asked them not to.” You finish with a murmur, shifting to sit back and look at Joel just as they call his name to get the coffees.

Joel stands up, happy to go get the drinks and muffins so he doesn’t have to show how that idea upsets him. Why does he care after twenty-five years? He shouldn’t. Bringing the tray over to the table, he sets it down and doles out the items quietly.

You bite your lip as you look at him, he’s broader than ever. He was gorgeous when he was younger and he’s still gorgeous with the grays scattered in his hair. “Is your kid in the Cape or elsewhere?” You ask him, wanting to change the subject.

Joel frowns slightly, looking down at his coffee. “No.” He tells you. “She- she died. Twelve years ago. It’s why I moved here. I couldn’t live in Texas anymore.”

Your brow furrows as you gasp softly. “Oh. Oh Joel. I’m so sorry. I- shit. Me and my big mouth. I’m so sorry. Oh God. That - that’s terrible.” You choke, squeezing the coffee cup in your hand as you see the devastation in his eyes.

“It was a long time ago.” The wound is still fresh and if it were anyone else, he wouldn’t even bring it up. But you had never met Sarah, you didn’t know how wonderful she was.

“I’m sorry Joel. I know that doesn’t mean shit when you endure that kind of pain but…I really am sorry.” You say and reach out to squeeze his hand again. “I understand why you left to come here.” You tell him and his dark eyes meet yours, clouded over with the pain of losing a child. “Do you…do you maybe want to come over for dinner sometime? Catch up properly? I meant what I said. I’ve missed you.”

His immediate response is to tell you no. That it wasn’t necessary, but he can’t get the words out. “Sure.” He figures it’s a nicety. That you are saying that and then you’ll politely avoid him.

You sip your coffee as he goes quiet. Joel was never one for small talk. “So have you got a wife or girlfriend here?” You ask after a few moments, wondering if that’s why he was hesitant to accept an offer to catch up over dinner.

“No, nothing like that.” He shakes his head, frowning slightly when he remembers Tess. He should have been better to her, but he ran out of time. “Not anymore,” he adds, looking back down at his cup. “So how long are you here?”

"Two weeks. Figured that was enough time for the dust to settle and for that asshole to get his shit out of my apartment." You sigh, looking down at the table before you flick your eyes up to meet his. "I really am sorry we lost touch. All I can say is it's complicated and too much time has passed to dig into it all again."

“Yeah.” Joel just shrugs. “It’s in the past.” He knows he’s changed a lot from the man you used to know. He’s harder, his heart is cold and most times people are wary of him. “People change, move on, whatever.”

You frown at his pessimism and you know he’s changed but he always used to be so playful and fun. Life has been hard for both of you, especially Joel. You finish your muffin and soon you’re walking back to your aunt’s house. “You wanna come for dinner tomorrow?” You offer, not wanting to end this interaction on a spur note.

“Sure.” He finds himself agreeing, not minding your company and he would love a meal he didn’t cook for himself. Or Ellie cooked. “Oh- uh, I should have told you. Can someone come with me?” He asks, not sure if you’d want a kid around.

You are surprised but don't ask who, wondering if he has a friend or something. "Uh, sure. Yeah. That's fine. Any allergies or things they don't like?" You ask, wanting to be sure before you plan what you want to cook.

“Nahhhh.” Joel snorts, shaking his head at the crazy things that Ellie has eaten. “She’ll eat anything. Nearly indestructible stomach, I swear.”

You are curious, barely able to swallow down the inquiries but you manage and offer him a smile, "sounds good. Wanna say seven?" You ask and he nods. You stand on your aunt's driveway and Joel rubs the back of his neck. "I'll see you tomorrow." He says and you rock on your heels, crossing your arms. "See you tomorrow, Joel." You smile and watch for a second as he spins on his heel and makes his way back to the neighbor's house.

****

“So whoooo are we having dinner with?” Joel rolls his eyes and ramps down the urge to bite back with something sarcastic. That would only make the girl more curious about who you are.

“She’s an old friend.” Joel explains, “she’s in town and I thought I might be good to not have to put up with your shit cooking for a night.” He reaches over and pulls on her ponytail, grinning when she scowls and slaps his hand away.

“Hey man, not my fault your cooking tastes like shit. You taught me.”

You wipe down your apron as you watch the water boil for the pasta. The doorbell rings and you take the apron off, making your way over to the door to open it to greet Joel and his mystery guest. You had purposefully avoided looking out of the windows this morning when Joel was working. You are shocked when you see a teenager with Joel, having convinced yourself it was another woman and he was trying to hint at it but you didn't pick it up.

“Woah. She’s a babe!” Ellie’s eyes widen and she sends Joel a smirk. “No wonder you didn’t talk about her. You gotta date, old man? Why the hell are you bringing me with you?”

Joel rolls his eyes and reaches up to smack the back of Ellie’s head. “Behave.” He warns her before apologizing to you. “Sorry. She’s feral. Not a goddamn manner in her body.”

You fluster at the girl's compliment and you look at Joel with a chuckle, "don't worry. I've had worse with my cousins and their kids." You promise and step aside so that he and the kid can enter. You tell her your name as she walks past you and she offers you a grin and tells you her name is Ellie. "Hope you like chicken parm." You hum as you shut the door behind you.

“I love anything that he didn’t cook.” She hooks her thumb over at Joel and smirks. “He thinks heating Chef Boy-r-dee is a good meal.” She tells you, knowing that Joel is shuffling in embarrassment and not caring a lick. She likes to bust his balls.

You chuckle, remembering how hopeless Joel was in the kitchen. He even called you up one night to ask you to rescue the meal he was trying to cook Helen for a date night. It had been hard to help but you would’ve done anything for him back then. Still would if you’re honest. You ask Ellie what she wants to drink when they enter the open plan kitchen. “Damnnn. This is a nice place you got here.” Ellie says and you shake your head, “it’s my aunt’s. I live in Texas.” You explain and Ellie glances at Joel.

“Texas, huh?” She says, raising her eyebrows and Joel ignores her.

“Yeah. Joel and I used to be neighbors.” You explain a little more.

“So you can tell me what he used to be like?” She asks conspiratorially. “Before he became so boring.”

You lean in conspiratorially towards Ellie. “He’s always been boring.” You whisper playfully and Joel rolls his eyes.

Ellie nods, “makes sense.” You chuckle and Joel huffs, biting his lip to smother his smirk.

“Joel has always been a good guy. Grumpy, but he has always done the right thing.” You say, “and he tries to let everyone think he’s a grumpy bastard but he’s actually got a good sense of humor.” You say and Ellie shakes her head, “he doesn’t laugh at my jokes!” She whines and you smirk, “oh he’s laughing. Just on the inside.”

“No, I’m not.” Joel grumps and huffs, trying to hide a smirk. He likes to bust on Ellie as much as she busts on him, just in different ways. If he tries to be too soft with the girl, she will shut down. “Hope it wasn’t too much trouble for dinner. We would have been good with pizza.”

You shake your head, “it’s nice to cook. I am usually so busy with work and my ex…he was a vegan which made it almost impossible to cook what I know but I love cooking. I’ve missed it. Hopefully it’s good.” You say and turn back to the stove to put the pasta on to cook. “You want a soda?” You ask Ellie, knowing Joel will want a beer. The teenager nods and you hand her a soda before handing Joel a bottle of beer. “Go sit at the table. Dinner will be right up.” You say as you set your glass of wine down.

“Ellie and I will clean up.” Joel offers. He might suck in the kitchen, but he knows how to clean up a mess and it wouldn’t be fair to expect you to wait on them. “Sound good?”

“You’re my guests.” You protest but Joel shakes his head, “we can do the dishes.” You sigh, knowing you’re best to not argue, and turn back to the stove. It doesn’t take long for you to set the serving dishes on the table. “Dig in.” You order and Ellie groans, “shit. That looks good.”

“Ellie.” Joel warns softly and you chuckle, “hopefully it tastes good.”

“I'm sure it’s great.” Joel tells you with a quick smile as he cuts into the chicken cutlet. “Thank you, it’s nice to have a good meal.” He admits. Often times it was something from a box or fast food for them. “And did you remember what beer I drink? Or was it a lucky guess?”

You bite your lip and fluster slightly, “I, uh, I remembered.” You confess, having remembered every detail about the man opposite you. Your heart is still thumping when his dark eyes meet yours.

Neither of you notice the way Ellie smirks as she cuts into her chicken. “This is fucking awesome. You’re a great cook. Right, Joel?” Ellie hints at her foster dad.

"Huh?" He's been trying not to make it obvious that he's having a moment with the chicken farm. Looking up, he sees that he's being asked a question. "Yeah, oh yeah, it's delicious." He praises. "I don't know if I've had chicken parm this good in forever." He promises.

Your stomach twists with their praise, pleased they are enjoying it and you dig in yourself, hungry after cooking for most of the afternoon. “So Ellie is your daughter?” You ask Joel and Ellie snorts, “he wishes. I’m just his foster kid. He and my mom were friends and when he found out I was in home after home, he took me in.” Ellie says and you smile, “always knew you were a softie.” You tease and Joel grunts his response.

The truth was more complicated and filled in infinitely more guilt. Joel had gone down a dark path after Sarah had died. He was Ellie's mother's dealer. Giving her the drugs even though she was using more and more and that it could kill her. He had told himself that it wasn't his problem until he had learned about Ellie. He had started avoiding the woman's calls until he learned she had died of an overdose. No other family other than Ellie, it had felt like it was his fault so he had done the work to become the kid's guardian.

You can sense there's more but you don't push. The three of you have small talk, Ellie mainly asking questions about what Joel was like when you knew him back in the day and you explain that you were good friends until he got married and you decided to leave town. "You left? And didn't keep in touch?" Ellie asks with a frown and you tap your fingers on the table, "it was complicated."

Joel snorts and doubts that, but he doesn't voice it. You keep saying it's complicated, but you won't even say more than that to him. Ellie rolls her eyes and sighs. "Just say you love him already. There. Done." She turns to Joel and pitches her voice up slightly. "Joel, I was in love with you so I couldn't stand to see you married." She says, pretending to be you before she looks back over at you with a shake of her head. "Now. Was that hard?"

Your jaw drops slightly as the teenager calls you out and reveals the reason you left within an hour of meeting you. "I, uh, it - um -" You stammer and Joel shakes his head.

"Ellie. Don't be rude." He reprimands her and she waves her hand towards you, "I'm right, aren't I?" She asks and you stand up, grabbing your plate.

"I have dessert. You like chocolate cake?" You ask and grab the teenager's plate.

“Stop being a little shit.” Joel hisses the moment you disappear out of sight. “She doesn’t love me. She’s just getting over a break up.” Ellie’s grin falls and she looks upset over her comments. “And you have to open your big mouth.”

You sigh as you cut into the cake you bought earlier and serve three plates. You carry them back over to the table on the tray and Ellie’s eyes widen as she takes it in. “Holy shit, that looks delicious.” She says and you chuckle, “I didn’t make this. I’m not a good baker.” You confess as you sit back down.

“I doubt that.” Joel tells you. “I’m sure you are a good baker, but Ellie never turns down cake.”

“I never do either.” You wink at Ellie, wanting to lighten the atmosphere and you dig into the cake. After the cake is eaten, Ellie tells you about her school and how she wants to learn to play the guitar. “Joel used to play guitar.” You reveal, remembering how you used to hear him practicing in his bedroom.

“You never told me that.” Ellie sounds downright offended that he had never told her about his musical proclivity.

“Haven’t told you a lot.” He grunts, smirking slightly when she pouts at him.

“But you can teach me, and then I won’t have to pay someone.”

He chuckles and raises a brow at his foster kid. “I’ll take payment in the form of chores being done on time and completely.”

You chuckle and realize that Joel is just as soft as you remember him but he’s covered by a hard exterior…like a piece of candy. Sweet but sour. “Deal.” Ellie says despite knowing she will slack a little bit she hopes Joel will at least teach her the basics. “So are you gonna be seeing Joel again?” Ellie probes and you shrug, “well, he’s working next door so I think it’s inevitable.”

Joel rolls his eyes at the scheming tone of the girl’s voice. “Maybe I should ask you when you are going to see Vanessa again.” He huffs with a small smirk. “You seemed to be really into hanging out with her.”

You lean in a little closer with a smile, “who’s Vanessa?” You ask and Ellie blushes, “she’s, uh, she’s this girl from math and she - she’s really pretty.” Ellie murmurs and you reach out to touch her arm, “then maybe you should tell her that.” You suggest and Ellie rears back and shakes her head. “Oh no. No. I, uh, I don’t know if she likes me.” Ellie confesses and you say, “well, you’ll never know unless you ask.” You suggest softly and Ellie bites her lip until her expression hardens a little, “I could say the same thing to you guys.” She says, looking between you and Joel.

You shake your head, “we are friends. Have always been friends.” You say and don’t notice Joel frown slightly. “Anyway, I, uh, I’m sure you have an early start. Do you want to take the rest of the cake home? I won’t eat all of that.”

“I know the kid will want it.” He won’t admit that he might go to the kitchen in the middle of the night to sneak a piece. “Come on.” He motions towards Ellie. “Let’s get in there and clean up. Show our appreciation for the good meal.”

Ellie, for once, doesn’t groan about doing dishes and you already have most of it in the dishwasher so it’s only the serving plates and plates you ate off of. “It’s okay.” You try to argue but Joel and Ellie already have a well rehearsed wash and dry system. You stand there with your glass of wine and admire Joel.

You had obviously washed as you cooked, so there weren’t as many dishes as when Joel decides he’s gonna actually cook. Once the last one is washed and handed off to Ellie to dry, Joel rinses the rag and starts to wipe down your counters. “Tell you what?” He jokes. “You feed us like that and we’ll do all the dishes every time. Might even do your laundry too.”

You chuckle and hold your hand out towards Joel, “that’s a deal, Miller.” You joke and he squeezes your hand, sending electricity up your arm at his touch and your heart thumps. You stare at him for a moment until Ellie clears her throat and looks between you with a shit eating grin until Joel lets go of your hand. They finish washing up and you hand them the box of cake to take with them when you escort them out of your house “it was great to meet you, Ellie.”

"It was pretty cool to meet you too." Ellie smirks. "I think I'll probably see a lot more of you too." She predicts before shooting out the door. "Thanks for the food!" She shouts as she waves the cake box over her head.

You chuckle when Joel rolls his eyes, “she’s a handful.” He says and you reach up to squeeze his shoulder, “she’s a good kid. And you’re a good man for taking her in.” You say and he leans in to softly kiss your cheek.

“Thanks for dinner, sweetheart. See you around.” He winks at you and you fluster, nodding before you shut the door. Your heart is fluttering, the ghost of his kiss on your cheek and you know that your love for him has never gone away, it’s just been concealed.

****

The next morning, you’re woken up by Joel and his crew again and you sigh, getting ready for the day. When you open the curtains, your jaw drops as you come face to face with Joel working , his shirt looped into his jeans. “Shit.” You hiss, your stomach twisting with arousal as you watch his shoulder muscles move.

Joel sees the curtains opening on the bedroom you are obviously using in your aunt’s house. He looks back down at the board he was nailing into place and smirks. It was hot as hell today and that might have prompted him to take his shirt off. All the while, telling himself that Ellie’s prodding about how much you two obviously liked each other was a bunch of BS. You had been friends. He’s sure he had taken his shirt off around you at some point, so why shouldn’t he be comfortable.

Your mouth is dry as you try to discreetly watch. You hadn’t seen Joel without his shirt off and the muscles moving has you wanting to get back into bed and imagine Joel in it with you. Instead, you force yourself to get ready for the day and brew some coffee. The doorbell rings around mid morning and you brush yourself down as you move to open the door. “Joel. What’s up?” You ask, his shirt still off, he’s covered in some kind of grease, and you swallow harshly. “I hate to ask this but do you think I could use your shower? I got grease all over me from trying to fix my tool. Can I - I’ll be quick.” He asks and you nod, “of course. It’s upstairs to the left.” You say, “I can run your stuff through the washer if you want?” You offer.

“Thanks.” He shoots you a grin. “I appreciate it. This job has been nothing but a pain in my ass, but at least the view is nice.” He tells you, aware that he’s flirting, but he can’t help himself. He’s been thinking about you all day. Wondering what you’ve been doing.

You bite your lip as he grins at you and you aren’t sure if he’s flirting or not. You watch him as he carefully makes his way upstairs after taking off his boots at the door and you try to busy yourself by making some iced tea for when he’s done showering. Logically, you know he doesn’t have a spare set of clothes yet you’re still surprised when he appears with a towel wrapped around his waist and you swear your heart stops. Fuck, he looks gorgeous. You want to lean in and lick the drops of water speeding down his chest and stomach to be absorbed by the towel.

Joel shuffles slightly. “Sorry. I didn’t think about the fact I had nothing to put on.” He admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “And I- I swiped some of your deodorant.” He chuckles awkwardly. “Probably the best I’ve smelled all day.”

“That - That’s okay.” You nod, torn between stepping forward to rip the towel from his body and running to your room to disappear. “I, uh, I made some iced tea if you want some.” Joel nods and you pour him a glass. “I’ll put your things in the washer.” You hold your arms out and take the dirty clothes, quick to walk into the laundry room to put his clothes on to wash.

He hadn’t missed the way your breaking hitched, and he reasons that Ellie was right. You want him. Instead of drinking the tea, he puts it down and quietly follows behind you. Crowding in behind you as you close the lid to start it and smirks when you gasp as you turn around. “Sorry, realized I forgot to give you everything.” He rasps out, reaching for his towel. “Can’t forget that.”

Your eyes widen and you bite your lip to stop the whimper escaping. Joel is naked. In your aunt’s laundry room. You spin around and place the towel in the washer before pressing the button to start it. His hands find your waist and he pushes up against you, “Joel.” You whimper, “I- oh God.” You gasp when he kisses your neck.

“I want you.” He confesses, “you want me, darlin’?” He asks and your knees would buckle if he didn’t have you pressed up against the washer.

“I need you. I’ve wanted you since I met you.” You confess breathlessly.

His hardening cock twitches against your ass and he groans. “That is why you left.” He huffs. “Fuck, I wish I had known.” He squeezes your hips and then slides his hands around so he can unbutton your jeans. “I would have taken you to bed before I met Helen. Always thought you were a pretty thing. Never seemed like you wanted more with me, so I didn’t push.”

You turn your head to kiss his jaw. “I thought you thought of me as the dumb kid next door. Never saw me as the woman I became. I thought you just saw me as a friend. When you told me you were engaged to Helen - I - I couldn’t stick around and watch you be a family.” You confess as he pulls the zipper down and you gasp when he shoves your jeans down your thighs, his hand quickly pushing into your panties to rub your clit. “Joel.” You moan, reaching up to turn his head so you can press your lips against his.

He knows that this will change everything but he’s tired of being alone. Tired of the regrets he has and you have always been one of them. His work rough fingers press and rub your clit while his other hand slides under your shirt and pushes your bra up so he can fondle your tits. “Never thought you were a girl. You aren’t that much younger than me. Hated how much I wanted you. How much I thought about you.”

You gasp when he rubs your clit just right and you grind your hips back against his aching cock. “God. I- I thought about you all the time.” You confess and reach behind you to grip his cock in your hand. “I want you, Joel.” You whimper, needing to feel him inside of you after so many years of wondering what he would feel like.

“Then you’ll get me.” Joel promises. “Right after you cum on my fingers.” He twists his wrist so he can push two thick fingers inside you and rub your clit with his thumb. Groaning and twitching in your hand when your walls squeeze his fingers tight. “I’ll fuck your little pussy right. Make you forget all about that douche bag in Texas. Show you how a man should be treating you.”

His words send a whine up your throat and you squeeze his cock in your grip as his fingers stretch you out. “Oh God. Jo- Joel.” You gasp when his thumb presses harder against your clit. It’s more than you’ve felt in years while having sex and you are grateful for his hand squeezing your breast to keep you upright and pressed against the washer. “Shit. That - it’s so good.” You pant, knowing that Jason never made you feel like this. He never used to finger you until you came, just until you were wet. You’re a little embarrassed when you look back on it later to say that you came astonishingly quick, clamping down on his digits with a moan of his name.

“Good girl.” Joel moans when he feels your body tense and shake. “Fuck, your such a good girl for me. Bet you taste delicious, don’t cha?” He groans, the slickness coating his fingers makes it easier to work you through your orgasm until he feels your knees buckle and you collapse against the washing machine. “Fuck. You needed that, didn’t you. Still want me to fuck you or do you need a cigarette?” He jokes. He’s throbbing in your hand, but if you don’t want to go any farther, he won’t push. He doesn’t want you to regret it or feel like he’s taking advantage of your broken heart.

You squeeze his cock again, "don't you dare stop, Miller. I- I've wanted you for forever. I need you inside of me." You plead breathlessly, pussy still fluttering around his fingers, "please." You add pathetically, needing this even if it's one time.

“I’m so fuckin’ glad you said that.” Joel confesses as he pulls his soaked fingers out of you. “Otherwise I was gonna need to jerk off right now.” He kisses your neck and pushes your feet apart with his own to spread you out. “It’s gonna be quick.” He warns. “Been a long fuckin’ time for me.”

"I don't care. You can cum inside of me." You promise, bracing yourself on the vibrating washer as he positions himself at your entrance and starts to push inside of you. You whine when his cock slips inside of you, already stretching you out. "Fuck. You are so big." You moan, knowing that you've never had anyone this thick inside of you.

Joel groans your name roughly, rolling his hips until they are pressed against your ass and both hands are filled with your tits. “So goddamn tight.” He rasps in your ear, twitching when you clench around him. “Better than my dreams, better than I could have ever imagined. So tight around my dick.”

You reach behind you to tangle your fingers in his damp hair. He starts to move inside of you, a whine escaping your lips as the friction is delicious, and you rest your cheek on the washer. “Soooo gooood.” Your voice vibrates too and Joel chuckles darkly, making you clench around him again.

He moves his hands down to grip your waist, holding tight to you as he braces his legs. Starting to rock into you faster and harder to make your body slam against the machine you are leaning against. “Fuck baby, you’re goddamn perfect.” He grunts out, gritting his teeth. “Touch your pretty little clit while I fuck the shit out of you.”

You cry out in pleasure, your hand shaking as you push it between you and the machine to rub your clit. “Fuck Joel. Joel. Oh shit.” You practically sob and his fingers dig into your flesh, likely leaving bruises you’ll cherish. “Harder.” You demand, wanting to feel him for days after he leaves you.

He growls, deep in his chest and his pace increases. Slamming into you harsh enough that he rocks the machine. Loving how you take him and beg for more, how tight your cunt gets when you spasm around him. “Gonna cum.” He warns, feeling his body starting to tense. “Need you to cum, sweet girl.”

You rub your clit a little faster, wanting to cum before he does and his grunts echo in the laundry room, getting deeper and faster along with his thrusts until you fall apart. A cry rips from your mouth as you clamp down on him, practically shaking against the vibrating machine as you climax around the man you’ve wanted for so long.

As soon as you clench down around him, Joel is lost. The strangled groan pushes out of his throat as he buries his cock just as deep as he can. Painting your walls with hot spurts of his seed while he grinds into you and whimpers your name. Overwhelmed by how perfect you feel around him.

You pant, resting against the washer as Joel twitches inside of you, his lips kissing along the back of your neck. You are speechless. No one has ever fucked you like that. Your legs feel like jello and you know you'd collapse if it wasn't for him keeping you pressed against the machine.

Panting, Joel presses against your back, kissing along your neck as he tries to catch his breath. He’s out of practice, but the way your legs still shake makes him think he did it right. “Fuck.” He chuckles. “We shoulda done that years ago.”

You chuckle softly, "yes but you were married." You snort and Joel caresses your side. "I think I'm gonna need a nap after that." You confess and he smirks against your skin, reluctantly pulling out of you.

“Well, I can’t go back to work with no clothes on.” He reminds you with another chuckle. “Why don’t we take that nap?” He’s already told his crew what to do and he doesn’t want to leave you right now. Caressing your back, he watches his cum start to well up at your little hole, trying to push out.

You smile, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra after he steps back from you and you finally feel like you can stand up. You toss your bra and shirt into the laundry basket along with the rest of your clothes after using your panties to wipe his cum from between your legs. “I need to pee and then we can nap.” You say, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “You wanna head upstairs while I pee?” You ask.

“Yeah.” Joel smirks slightly when you wobble as you walk to the hall bathroom and he strides into the kitchen to grab you a bottle of water before heading upstairs to the bedroom you are using. Feeling great and hoping that you enjoyed yourself, he’s gonna have to ask you when you come up.

You struggle to get upstairs but you do it, finding Joel sitting on the edge of the bed, still naked and you admire him for a second. The sun coming through the curtains highlights the gray in his locks and you find yourself falling for him all over again. You shift to lay down on the bed, closing your eyes, “you’ve worn me out, Miller.” You joke playfully.

“You’re worn out?” It’s fucking ridiculous how he wants to touch you again, even though he knows it will be at least half an hour, maybe more before he could get it up again. “And here I was thinking about eating your pussy.” He flips back on the bed beside you. “Guess that’s out.”

You open one eye, “now I didn’t say I was that worn out.” You tease, shifting onto your side and opening both eyes to look at him. “I would happily cum on your tongue if you want to do that.” You murmur, reaching out to caress his chest.

“Figure I owe you that much.” He grunts. “Fucked you over a washing machine. Not exactly the classiest first time.” He shoots you a grin. “Shoulda been in the bed of my truck.” He leans in and presses his lips to your as he rolls you onto your back and covers you with his body. “Wanna find out how you taste. Used to think about it when I had my dick in my hand.”

You reach up to caress his shoulders and back, “the bed of your truck. The stars above while the radio plays. That might’ve been something I dreamed about a lot.” You confess as he kisses along your neck. “I want to suck your cock too. Imagined it so many times. How you’d look, how you’d sound.”

“Fuck.” He groans, imagining it. “You’d look so fucking pretty like that.” He agrees. “But right now, there’s no way I’m gonna get hard, baby. I’m old.”

You scoff, “you’re not old. You just need some time.” You murmur, caressing his back as he slides his hand down your side. “We have time.” You promise softly despite knowing you are on borrowed time in your aunt’s house. “Now…you mentioned something about eating me out?”

He laughs as his tongue slides between your breasts, looking up at you with a grin that makes him feel younger, lighter. “I was telling you that you were going to scream my name.” He boasts, kissing across your belly as he shuffles down the bed to move between your thighs.

You grin as you watch him until he kisses your inner thigh and your mouth falls open with a moan. “Joel.” You sigh when he kisses along the sensitive skin until you are moaning his name as his tongue slides through your folds. “Fuck.” You tilt your head back, sitting up on your elbows.

He hums, knowing you are watching him but his eyes are closed as he tastes you. Enjoying the musky, tangy taste, even mixed with his own cum. Using his hands to push your thighs apart more, he flicks his tongue over your clit before sliding down and pushing his tongue inside you.

You gasp in delight as his tongue curls deep and you shift your weight onto one elbow so you can reach out and tangle your fingers in his hair. "So good baby. So good." You coo, rocking your hips up slightly to push his tongue deeper.

Joel groans into your cunt as he tongue fucks you enthusiastically. Loving your responsiveness and how you moan his name. His fingers dig into your hips, dragging you closer as he feasts voraciously without even wanting to pull away to swallow, his spit and your juices sliding down to soak the bed under you.

"Oh God." You pant, chest heaving and you let go of his hair to squeeze your breast, pinching the nipple while his nose presses against your clit. "That - ohhh just like that." You cry as his tongue curls just right with his nose pressed against your bundle of nerves.

He hums, rubbing his broad nose against your clit to give you more. Desperate to hear you cum again and to feel you soak his face. He feels so fucking alive right now between your thighs.

"Shit. I'm - you're gonna make me cum, Joel." You pant, thighs clamping around his face as he sends you over the edge. "Fuck!" You squeal as you soak his face, almost suffocating him with your thighs as your stomach clenches with your orgasm.

Joel groans, his softening cock starting to twitch and harden. Loving how wet you are getting and how much you are soaking him. Working you through it, his eyes are fixed on your face while you moan and cry out for him.

You collapse back onto the bed, gasping to catch your breath and you swear your heart has stopped from how hard you came. It’s more than anything you felt with Jason. It’s all consuming. “So good.” You finally murmur, loosening your grip on his face as your legs come down to lay flat on the bed when he rests his chin on your mound.

He smirks, looking at your blissed out face. “Good to know that it was good.” He strokes your thigh and your hip with his hands. “Now we can nap.” He teases, winking playfully.

You shift onto your side after he snakes from between your legs to flop down on the bed beside you. “You don’t want me to-?” You ask, noticing his semi.

“Nap first then maybe you can ride me.” He says, closing his eyes and you nod, shifting to curl into his side, watching him for several moments until you eventually drift off to sleep.

****

You aren’t sure how long you’ve been asleep but you wake up to Joel snoring. You chuckle softly, knowing he would never admit to snoring, and you watch him for a moment, unable to believe you’re here with him. Your gaze slides down his body to his hard cock resting on his belly and you grin, carefully shifting to be able to kneel over his body. You gently grip his cock and lean down to take the head into your mouth, wanting to surprise him when he wakes up.

Joel grunts, the wet heat and suction around his cock pulling him out of the nap he had been enjoying. Confused for a moment before the last few hours come rushing back to him and he groans out your name. Reaching down to cup the back of your head as his eyes open. Seeing you looking up at him with a smirk in your eyes.

You take him deeper, gripping the base of his cock as you widen your jaw and choke for a second. You haven’t sucked a cock like Joel’s before and it takes you a few tries to get him down your throat without gagging.

“Good girl, fuck, watch you take that.” He marvels. Reaching around to caress your jaw and feeling the way that your jaw unhinges. “Couldn’t wait, so eager for it that you had to wake me up?” He teases.

You moan around his cock, closing your eyes as you take him deeper, your saliva dripping down his length and you pull back after a moment, working his cock with your hand. You twist your wrist and dribble some more spit onto his cock. “I couldn’t resist.” You confess, pumping him as you lean in to suck on the head, pressing your tongue against his frenulum.

“Shit.” Joel hisses, his toes curling in pleasure and his thighs tensing as his body responds to your tongue. “Cock hungry.” He grunts. “You gonna swallow? Or are you gonna tease me and not let me cum in your mouth?”

You pull back again, pumping him a little faster. “You wanna cum down my throat or do you want me to ride you? Your choice, handsome.” You coo, “I can do whatever you want. Just want you to feel good.” You promise, taking him back into your mouth.

“Fuck.” It’s such a tantalizing choice but he knows he lasts longer the second time around and then he’ll be done. It would make your jaw ache and he doesn’t want that. “Ride me, baby.” He groans. “Want to see you bounce on my cock.”

You don't argue despite wanting to watch him as he cums down your throat. You let his cock drop from your mouth and you shift to straddle his thighs, shuffling closer until you can wrap your fingers around his slick cock and position him. You sink down onto him with your eyes fixed on his, that dark gaze sends a shiver down your spine as he stretches you out. "God, Joel." You whine softly, placing your palms on his chest.

“Fuuuuuuuuck.” Joel goans out, his fingers digging into the soft flesh at your hips while you clench down around him. You’re even tighter in this position and he has the bonus of being able to look into your eyes. See your face. “Does that feel good, baby?”

"Joel. It's...shit. It's so good." You confess breathlessly and your nails dig into his chest a little as you start to rock your hips. "Shit. How does it feel so good? Never been like this before." You confess as your eyes meet his and your heart pounds in your chest, silently giving you the answer to your question.

Bracing his feet on the bed, he rocks his hips up to meet you when you lift off of him. Making both of you groan at how good it feels. “You look so good on my dick.” He groans. “Your ex is a fucking moron.” He doesn’t want you to think about that asshole, but he wants you to know that it wasn’t you. One hand slides up to cup your breast, squeezing gently. “Never wanna leave this pussy.”

His words make you clench around him and you whimper, falling forward to press your chest against his so you can kiss him. Your lips pressing against his and you tangle your fingers in his hair as he thrusts up into you. His arms wrap around you and you kiss his jaw when you pull back to take a breath. "Never want you to stop fucking me."

Joel grunts, shifting to take control. “Good-“ he pants. “Good thing I last the second time.” He starts rocking his hips up, pinning you to him as he fucks you. “It’s why I wanted you to ride me. Probably take me an hour to cum.”

You are surprised by that. Most men you've been with tend to leave you unsatisfied after finding their own orgasm. "Fuck, really?" You gasp and he chuckles, thrusting a little harder. "Yes. Gonna make you cum over and over again." You cry out when he hits deep, nudging your cervix, but you love it. "Yessss." You hiss, "do that again baby."

Joel groans and does as you demand, snapping his hips up sharply so he can push against that spot again. He might be getting older, slower, fall asleep after dinner in his chair, but he’s not going to disappoint you. Not when he has this time with you like this. Trying to give you the same performance if he had fucked you years ago. “That?” He teases. “I’ll do that as much as you want.”

The sound you let out is between a wail and a moan as he hits that spot again. “Oh shitttt.” You hiss, lost in the sensations. “Again. That- again.” You beg and he does it, making you shake above him. “Joel. Oh shit. Baby. I’m gonna - you’re gonna make me - fuuuu-” The word fading into a choke as you clamp down on his cock, soaking him as you shake above his body, your fingers tugging on his hair.

This time he slows down, rocking you through the pleasure slowly and finally stopping when you slump down into his chest. He’s still hard, buried inside you, and he hums softly as he lets you catch your breath. “That’s good, baby?” He asks quietly. “You want another one?”

You lean back to look into his face. Fingers coming up to trace the lines that have been etched onto his skin over the years you’ve not seen each other. He’s still just as devastatingly handsome though. Every line is a story you don’t know about. “Yes.” You murmur, pressing your lips to his and you shift to sit up, wanting to ride him again. Your hips rock as you reach for his hands, joining them with yours to give yourself something to hold onto as you rock on his cock.

This time, you ride him. Truly ride him. You roll your hips and circle them around and make him groan. He squeezes your hands, but he doesn’t urge you to go faster. Knowing you will cum again before he does. He doesn’t want to hurt you or wear you out, so he’s just along for the ride. Aware that the sounds from next door have stopped and the guys have gone home.

You tilt your head back as you rock your hips. It’s slower, not as frantic, and you love the way he groans when you grind down onto him. “So good Joel. God, I- I can’t believe it’s so good.” You confess, squeezing his hands before you let go of him and lean back to place your hands on his thighs, grinding forward onto his cock.

He chuckles and watches you with a sense of wonder. “It’s because you’ve not had good sex in a long time.” He downplays his prowess because all that matters is that you enjoy yourself. “God, your pussy is fucking magic.” He moans quietly, twitching violently in the warmth of your walls.

You whimper, loving how he looks beneath you, and you moan his name again, “can you-?” You reach for his hand to bring it to your stomach, sliding it down to rub your clit and you moan when he rubs it just right. “That’s it baby. Shit.” You pant, rocking a little faster and you are soon clamping down on him again, head tilted back as a choked cry escapes your lips.

Joel watches you through heavy lidded eyes as you come apart again. Enjoying the pleasure you take as much as you do, although your body is the one shaking. He rocks his hips up slightly when your pace falters to work you through it. Groaning out your name and humming as you collapse against his chest to kiss you.

You caress his cheek, “I need a second.” You admit, chest heaving as your heart pounds in your chest and you pull off of his cock. Shifting to lay beside him and you reach down to grip his length, starting to pump him slowly while you lean in to kiss him. “Can’t believe you’re in my bed.” You murmur against his lips.

“Hard to believe since we haven’t seen each other in so long.” Joel agrees. “But it is pretty damn good, I think.” He reaches up and cups your cheek. “I know you deserve the fucking moon.”

You grin, turning your head to kiss his palm. “So do you. Always thought you were too hard on yourself.” You murmur, continuing to pump his cock. “I want you on top of me.” You request, letting go of his cock.

“Ready for more?” His brow shoots up and he huffs. “It’s a good damn thing that I didn’t cum.” He teases you, already moving to his knees so his could climb on top of you.

You giggle, reaching up to caress his shoulders and down to his chest, reaching for his cock to position him at your entrance. “I want you to cum. Fill me up again.” You promise, “and I’ll always want more.” You reassure him and he looks at you for a moment until he swallows harshly.

“Yeah?” He asks gruffly, not waiting for you to give him an answer, just lunging forward to fill you up again while he kisses you. Swallowing your cry when he pushes deep and immediately starts to rock into you.

You moan into his mouth, tongue tangling with his as he starts to rock his hips. It’s intoxicating and you are certain that you’ve never been fucked this well before. He kisses along your neck, biting your collarbone and you pant, closing your eyes. “So good baby. So good.” You whimper as he lifts your hip higher to sink deeper inside of you.

“Glad you like my fucking.” He huffs, chuckling breathlessly. He hasn’t worked this hard to fuck a pussy in years and he’s not regretting it. You both deserve this. He actually feels like he deserves this, surprisingly. You make him feel like he does.

“Oh God.” You can’t stop rambling about how good he feels, your heart pounding in your chest and you cross your ankles behind his back, your hands caressing his shoulders, strong from his years in construction. He lowers his hips and you swear you’re gonna cum again when the hair at the base of his cock brushes your clit.

“That’s it.” Joel grunts. The position has you perfectly positioned. Loving how tight you feel and how good it feels to be cradled between your thighs, he knows he’s gonna cum this time. “One more.” He begs. “Give me one more and I’ll fill you up again.”

You pant when he pushes deeper and drops his hips again and you swear you almost black out from the extent of pleasure he’s given you and you swear you are going to gush as he hits just right and you clamp down on his cock. “Joel. Joel. Joellll.” You squeal as you cum, soaking him and your ankles pushing against his ass.

Joel groans, unable to stop himself from pushing deep and letting go. His body draws up taunt like a guitar string. “That’s it baby, gonna cum.” He moans, feeling his cock pulse as he spills ropes of cum into your perfect cunt. Emptying himself as he holds his breath, feeling like his heart is about to beat out of his chest.

You sigh, closing your eyes and tilting your head back against the pillows as he paints your walls with his cum. You feel exhausted and yet feel like you could conquer the world. Alive and vibrating with pleasure from the man above you. The words would be so easy to say. The words you’ve wanted to say for so many years but you swallow them down.

Joel groans and pulls out of you slowly, flopping onto his back with a sigh. “Now I need another nap.” He huffs, closing his eyes even as he opens his arms if you want to snuggle to him again. “Wore me out, woman.”

You shift to curl into his side, throwing your leg over his thighs and not caring about his cum dripping out of you. You sigh and kiss his chest. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had.” You confess, closing your eyes as you cuddle into him.

“Good.” Joel hums sleepily. “Best damn sex I’ve had too.” His hand curls around your body and closes his eyes again, exhausted and for once, the nightmares don’t come.

****

You smile as Ellie sets the blankets up in the back of Joel’s truck. You watch Joel as he comes back to the truck with an armful of popcorn. “Fuck yeah.” Ellie says and you chuckle, taking the popcorn from Joel. “You’re excited to watch Dawn of the Dead?” You ask her with amusement and she nods, “duh. It’s the original. The remake is good but it has nothing on this one.” She says and you watch Joel snort. “Come on, let’s get in the truck, it’s about to start.” He says and you climb in after he does, taking his hand.

Joel can’t believe that you wanted to spend time with Ellie, but it makes him smile as she settles down and you sit beside her. Leaning him to squeeze in on the outside. “It’s always nice when they run these.” Joel admits. “Been a long time since we’ve been, but I always loved it as a kid. Remember all those times we would hang out at the drive in? Damn thing was the only movie theater for twenty miles.”

You shift to snuggle into Joel's side after the movie begins. Ellie chomps away on the popcorn and you inhale the smoky scent of Joel as he shifts to get comfortable with the pillows behind you. The past week has been incredible, spending most days with Joel after he finishes working on the house next door and you've had dinners at your place with and without Ellie. You've wanted Ellie to feel included, that you aren't taking Joel away from her all the time, and the teenager says she's happy she doesn't have to see the miserable old bastard all the time. That made you chuckle and Joel grumble, causing Ellie to go "see? My point." You flinch during the movie, on edge despite seeing this classic before, and Joel rubs your shoulder.

He ignores the way that Ellie eyes the two of you and snickers under her breath. Pulling you against him to where you roll to your side, hooking a leg over his. He tucks his other arm behind his head. “Maybe we can do that thing downtown next week.” He mentions casually, keeping his voice low. “Kid wants to go. Could be fun.” The little town loves to hold festivals and events, especially during the summer.

You hum, looking up at him. “I would love that.” You have been having dinners with Ellie and she’s a great kid. Feisty and her manners could use some work but she’s a good girl really. She’s gonna be a ball buster when she grows up. You and Joel have grown closer and he told you about Sarah. How he asked her to pick up milk on the way home from school because he was too busy with work to pick her up himself so she said she’d walk home and she ended up involved in an armed robbery of the grocery store. She made one wrong move to try and help a pregnant woman and ended up shot. You held Joel after he told you what happened, both of you crying for the little girl who would never grow up. Since then, you’ve spent as much time as possible together, even spending the night at Joel’s house. You never want to go home. You want to stay right here forever. You kiss Joel’s jaw when it tenses and he turns his head to softly kiss you, making your heart flutter.

Joel hums into the kiss, keeping it soft and light since the kid is sitting right next to you. He’s already planning on having you spend the night. Getting used to the feeling of your body next to his and when he’s holding you, he doesn’t dream of Sarah. He doesn’t hear her last breaths as he sleeps. He nuzzles your cheek with his nose when he pulls away. “Enjoying yourself, baby?”

“Always with you.” You whisper softly while Ellie chomps on popcorn and laughs when someone new gets bitten. It’s the most at peace you’ve been in so long. You want to tell Joel how you feel but you don’t want to ruin this between you. When you arrive back at Joel’s, you bid goodnight to Ellie and Joel is dragging you to his room. “Someone’s eager.” You giggle and he shuts the door behind you.

“Always with you.” He uses your words from earlier, but it’s true. He’s always eager to touch you, to taste you. Feeling your skin against his is unlike anything else and he’s addicted to it. He quickly pulls off your shirt and unclips your bra as he kisses along your neck, moving down to take a nipple in his mouth.

You gasp, body still on fire as much as the first time whenever he touches you. You reach for his jeans, unbuckling them and reaching in to grip his cock, loving how hard he is for you. “Joel.” You whine when he bites down on your nipple, groaning into your skin.

He loves how you whine, how you beg for him. Switching to your other breast, he shows it the same attention, squeezing your ass and then hastily unbuttoning your shorts. Needing to feel how wet you are for him.

You let go of his cock so he can shove your shorts down and he groans when his hand dives into your panties and he finds you soaking wet. You’ve never been so turned on by a man, wet from just a few kisses from Joel. Even looking at him. You whimper when his calloused fingers find your clit. “Yesss baby.” You hiss softly, reaching back to squeeze his cock.

“Fuck.” He groans against your tit. His fingers rub your clit and then he slides them deep inside you and curls up. “Want you to cum for me, then I want to fuck you.” He growls.

You can’t deny him when he wants you to cum for him. His thumb pressing against your clit and you’re so close already. “Joel. Baby. Shit.” You hiss as you clamp down on his digits, soaking them and your grip on his cock tightens.

It seems like he’s learned your body perfectly over the last week. Groaning happily when your cunt gushes around his fingers and makes it squelch when he continues to finger you. “So good baby, so good.” He praises. “You’re so good for me.”

You whimper, “yes. Yes. All yours. I- shit. Need you inside of me.” You plead, letting go of his cock to reach for his shirt. You want to pull it over his head so you can touch his skin.

It’s a frantic rush to get both of you undressed. Acting like teenagers again. He chuckles when he nearly trips over his boxers as he moves you towards the bed. “So damn eager. All the time.” He grunts, pressing his lips to yours as he pushes you down onto the bed.

You giggle, looking up at him as he shifts to kneel between your legs. You stop giggling when he looks at you and you reach up to caress his cheeks. “It’s because it’s you.” You murmur, your heart pounding in your chest and you know you can’t say those words and ruin this so you surge forward to press your lips against gis.

Joel closes his eyes and moans into your mouth. Gripping his cock and guiding himself towards your dripping entrance while your tongues tangle together. Flattening his hands on either side of your head as he starts to push inside you.

You tangle your fingers in his hair, lifting your thighs up to rest on his hips so he can sink deeper inside of you. “Joel baby. Shit. Always so thick. Stretching me out. Would’ve - would’ve let you fuck me in your truck during the movie if Ellie wasn’t there.” You reveal when he leans back to kiss along your jaw.

He hums quietly. "Could you have kept quiet?" He asks, sliding a hand up and covering your mouth. "Or would I have had to fuck you like this? Keep those pretty sounds for myself while I fuck you?"

Your moan is muffled by his palm and you whimper when he starts to move inside of you. Your cunt clenches around him, making him chuckle darkly, and you swear that alone could make you cum. His hand slides down to your neck, holding you there but not squeezing. “I would’ve tried. The - the horror screams might’ve covered mine up.”

He hums, smirking as he watches you squirm underneath him. "Maybe." He tells you doubtfully. Your screams are too loud when he's really fucking you. Although you normally save that for when he's fucking you at your aunt's house.

You slap his chest playfully and he grabs your hand, pressing it into the mattress above your head. “I could’ve kept quiet.” You huff and he thrusts particularly hard into you, making you moan a little louder than you shoulder. His eyebrow raises as you open your eyes and you roll your eyes, “okay, you made your point. Now, you gonna fuck me, Miller?” You tease, leaning up to nip his jaw.

“I’m fuckin’ you, aren’t I?” He grumbles even though he’s smirking again. He’s been doing a lot of that around you lately. Reaching back, he grabs your hand and lifts it up over your head while he slams into you again. “Addicted to it. To you.”

Your mouth falls open, all joking gone as he hits so deep inside of you. “Fuck.” You gasp, closing your eyes as he rolls his hips on the next thrust. “Shit. Me too. Addicted. To all of you.” You promise, having seen some of his darker moments when he’d wake up in the middle of the night and momentarily forget he lost Sarah. You’d held him while he settled down and neither of you spoke about it the next morning. It’s his decision to talk or not talk.

With your confession, his pace falters for a moment before he starts rocking into you faster. Snapping his hips as harshly as he can to slam into you roughly. Knocking your breath and his own out of you as he fucks you.

You lift your hips higher, sending him impossibly deeper inside of you, and you can barely breathe with the way he’s pushing deep inside of you. “Fuck baby. That’s it. God. Feels so good. So good.” You moan, squeezing his hands in yours.

“You’re so good.” He’s done everything he fucking could to show you how sexy you are. How desirable. That your ex is a dumbass. He squeezes your hand and despite the rough pace, his lips are tender on yours.

His hips grind against yours and you are close when he rubs your clit just right. “Shit. Jo-Joel. Fuck. I’m gonna - I’m gonna - Shitttttt.” You hiss as you clamp down on his cock, soaking him and your lips hover against his as he works you through it.

It’s always so surprising how quickly you cum. Making him groan as your walls squeeze hum like a vice, begging him to fill you up. He kisses you again, keeping his cock working in and out of you as he chases his own high. Thinking about you and how sexy you are, different times he’s fucked you. Wanting to cum and snuggle with you while he can. “Fuck, fuck, baby.” He pants. “So fucking good for me. Soaking my cock. Moaning my name. You’re mine, ain’t cha?”

You nod, “yes. Yes. Yours. Always been yours. You just didn’t know it.” You confess and he groans, pushing deep inside of you with a hiss as he starts to cum. “That’s it baby. Cum for me. Yes. Yes. God, that’s it.” You squeeze his hands as he scrunches his face up while he paints your walls.

“You should stay.” Joel groans out as he collapses on top of you and buries his face into your neck. Panting breathlessly and trying to find the words he needs, even though he’s never been good at them. He needs you. Much like he needed Ellie, just in a different kind of way. He doesn’t want you to leave and he knows you’ve only got a few days left.

You want to stay. More than anything. You often daydream about a life spent with Joel but you have a life back in Texas that you need to sort out. You want to stay, forget everything in Texas but you have an apartment. “I can’t. Not yet.” You murmur and caress his back, “I have stuff to figure out in Texas.” You wish you could stay with him but you have to get everything sorted.

Joel doesn’t say anything. He knows it was a long shot. He kisses you softly and pulls out of you with a groan and rolls onto his back. Quiet and suddenly wondering is you are going to go back to that asshole now that you’ve fucked someone else.

You shift into his side, kissing his chest, and you know it’s hard to explain to Joel who sees the world in absolutes. You know he isn’t happy with your answer and you’ll try to explain it better in the daylight. He is soon snoring in your ear and you murmur to him, “I love you.” You will call your parents tomorrow and see if they can help you out.

****

Joel looks at you as you finish making the sandwiches for lunch. “You nearly finished with the house next door?” You ask him as you set the iced tea down in front of him as he shifts to sit at your kitchen counter.

“Nearly.” He says and he’s been quiet since last night when you told him you weren’t staying.

You set the plate in front of him just as the doorbell rings. He looks at you and you shake your head, “I didn’t order anything.” You say and make your way over to the front door. You open it and gasp, “Jason?”

His heart sinks as he hears your gasps but his first instinct is anger. Lurching out of his seat, Joel rushes to the door and pushes you out of the way so he can grab the asshole who hurt you. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He growls, satisfied that the man nearly squeals and flinches when Joel draws his fist back to punch him.

Jason winces and you reach up to touch Joel’s arm. “Don’t. He’s not worth it.” You say and Joel glances at you, confused that you don’t want him to beat this guy’s ass and you say no. “What do you want, Jason?” You huff and Jason adjusts his shirt after Joel lowers his arm.

“I want you back. I made a mistake. I'm sorry baby. Please. I miss you.” You ignore that to ask him how he found you. “Your phone…still has the location shared with me.”

You hiss at your stupidity. “I don’t - I don’t love you Jason. You hurt me. So much. Just go.” You plead and he shakes his head, trying to push into the house but Joel puffs his chest and Jason backs away.

“Fine. Whatever. Clearly you’ve moved on. Good luck, man. She’s batshit crazy.” Jason growls, “and she needs to do some fucking kegels.”

Joel hisses and surges forward to grab Jasón but he manages to dodge Joel and runs down the path. “Motherfucker.” Joel hisses and tries to catch him but you place your hand on his chest, “leave it baby. It’s not worth it.” You remind him and Joel shouts out, “you worthless piece of shit!” You sigh and shut the door, feeling a little shaken by Jason’s random appearance.

Joel’s angry. Pissed off that you apparently still have feelings for that fucking loser. Enough that you wouldn’t let him beat the shit out of him and teach him some fucking manners. “Charming asshole.” He grunts, not even hungry anymore. “See why you want to go back to him.” You just said you didn’t love him, but why else would you give up on everything the two of you have if not to go back to that worthless piece of shit.

Your eyes widen, “go- what the hell are you talking about, Joel? Go back to him? That’s the last thing I’d ever do. I didn’t think he’d track my fucking phone to come and find me.” You shake your head, “I don’t want him. I want you. I only want you.” You want to tell him how much but you don’t want to risk your heart again.

“Except you aren’t staying with me, are you?” He demands. “You’re gonna fuck off back to Texas and maybe tell your friends that you rebounded with some dumb construction worker who knew you from back in the day.” His own fears ride to the surface and he lashes out at you. “Poor son of a bitch actually thought he had a chance and asked you to stay.”

You shake your head, “Joel. No. I- I have to go home because I have an apartment. A job. I can’t just up and leave everything. I want to stay. More than anything in the world but we aren’t kids, we have responsibilities and I have to handle it all before I come back here. I want to stay. More than anything in the world.” You assure him, noticing how tense he is and you feel guilty for not explaining yourself before.

“Whatever.” He’s angry and irrational. A little embarrassed about how he just flung his heart out there. “I’m- I’ve got to get back to work.” He picks up his tool belt off the back of the chair and turns towards the door. Hating how vulnerable you’ve made him feel and how easily you can hurt him.

You want to run after him, scream at him that you love him, that you've always been in love with him. No one has ever made you feel like he does. Instead, you stare at the kitchen counter. You told him you'd come back but he pushed it aside. Maybe it's best that you go home before you destroy the last of your relationship with Joel. You work on packing your things, booking a flight home, and you text Ellie to tell her you are heading home first thing. She tries to call you but you ignore it, wanting to have a glass of wine or two to smother the way your heart aches at leaving Joel again. You never discussed why you left. You never told him and now you doubt you will. You organize your aunt's house, leaving it how you found it and get into bed without Joel.

“You’re a fucking dumbass.” Joel ignores the jab coming from the teenager as he stirs the pan as if it was a mission to whip the water and milk mixture the boxed dinner called for. “Joel? Joel? She’s leaving.” She stresses again. “You know, not being here anymore?”

Slamming the spoon down, Joel turns around to glare at Ellie. “I fucking know. What do you want me to do about it?” He demands. “She’s a fucking adult. She can go where she wants.”

The girl’s eyebrows arch up to her forehead and she rears back at the anger in Joel’s tone. “Man, you got it baaaaaaad.” She huffs. “You need to tell her how you feel.”

Joel snorts. “I have.” He admits, shaking his head. “Doesn’t matter, stay out of it.”

Ellie harumps at him and crosses her arms. “Go talk to her.” She demands, staring him down and he knows she won’t let this go.

“Fine.” He grumbles, slapping his hands on his hips to search for his keys. “Won’t do any good, but I’ll go talk to her.”

The doorbell rings and you frown, getting out of bed to see who it is. Hoping it's not Jason coming back. When you see Joel through the peephole, you sigh and open the door. "Hey." You say weakly as you stand there in your pajamas in the doorway.

“Can we talk?” Joel asks, shuffling slightly on the steps and wondering if you would tell him to fuck off. He had overreacted and fucked things up. “Please?”

You nod, stepping aside so he can walk in and you shut the door behind him. “Ellie told you I booked a flight home?” You ask and he nods, pushing his hands into his jeans. “Yeah.” He clears his throat and you bite your lip, taking a moment. “I don’t think you understand me, Joel. I- I don’t want to leave. Ever. If I could stay here forever, I would. But I can’t. Not because I don’t want to. I want to. I have a life back home. A home. A job. I can't abandon that stuff. I have to sort it out and then…I was planning to come back.”

His shoulders round, knowing that he hadn’t heard you say that when he was busy being upset. “I- I’m sorry.” He murmurs quietly, hating being wrong and feeling like he’s fucked things up. “I shouldn’t have- I didn’t hear you say that. I’m- no excuse.” He tells the kid to own up to her mistakes all the time and he should do the same.

You aren’t angry with him, just upset. “I- I never told you the reason why I left when you got married…did I?” You ask and he shakes his head, his hand coming up to run it through his hair. You fiddle with your fingers and lick your lips, giving yourself a moment. “I left because I couldn’t stand to see the man I love be in love with another woman, marry another woman. It tore me apart and I thought it was easier to leave than to watch you live your life without me being the woman you chose to be with. I was so in love with you and you didn’t see it. I had to go.”

“Oh baby.” Joel closes his eyes, pulling his hands out of his pockets so he can pull you close. “I wish you had told me.” It wouldn’t have changed things, he had married her, but maybe he could have kept you as a friend. “We didn’t last a year. She wasn’t the one for me. Not really, and we both knew it.”

You know he wouldn’t change a thing because he had Sarah because he married Helen but you hug him, breathing him in. “You had Sarah so life happens for a reason and you’re here now and I - I still love you. I’m still so damn in love with you, Miller.” You confess as you pull back to look at him.

“I love you.” He murmurs softly. “I - I was going to offer to come to Texas.” He’s not stepped foot in the state since his daughter died and he really didn’t want to go back, but he would for you. “To visit you. It would be hard to move Ellie.”

You caress his cheek, “I won’t be long.” You promise, “I can work remotely so I just gotta head home to pack up and find somewhere here to buy.” You tell him, “I won’t be gone long enough for you to need to visit me. I know you can’t move because of Ellie so I’ll come here. I don’t want to run anymore. I want you.” You promise, leaning in to nudge your nose with his.

“You don’t have to buy anything.” Joel murmurs quietly. “You can move in with me and Ellie.” He knows you might not want to move in with him after your ex cheated on you in your home, but he wants to offer. “No need to waste the money when you’re gonna be in bed with me.”

You smile, pleased that he’s ready to jump all in. “You want me in your bed?” You ask and he nods, “every damn night.” You giggle softly and kiss his lower lip. “As soon as I’m back, I’ll never leave your bed.” You promise, “I’m yours. Forever. If you’ll have me.”

“Baby, I want you.” Joel wraps his arm around you and pulls you close. “I promise you, I want you. Forever. Your asshole ex threw away the greatest thing he ever had and I’m not stupid enough to do the same.”

#pedro pascal #joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller smut #joel miller imagine #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #joel tlou #no outbreak!joel miller

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wooahaes · 5 months

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where the heart is

pairing: non-idol!mark x gn!reader

genre: fluff. established relationship au.

word count: 0.7k~

warnings: yearning. silly sweet bf mark. reader is written to be a foreigner, but its left vague where they're from.

daisy's notes: maybe one day ill know enough to write abt the other members but he is just so <3 to me ok

The familiarity of your family’s house should have been all you needed to chase away your homesickness. So… Why were you still feeling like this?

A few days ago, your parents had picked you up from the airport, and you’d slept in your room for the first time in almost a year. This time you’d come alone, since Mark had been unable to take off work (you’d fight his boss one day for denying the request he put in months ago—him ‘needing’ Mark to work was bullshit when they had plenty of time to plan around his absence). Hopefully next time, you’d have Mark asleep next to you while you planned for something else to show him about your home. Yet the entire time you’d been home, you couldn’t shake this feeling from your chest. You were home with your family, and yet some part of you felt this awful yearning to go home again. At first, you had chalked it up to you knowing that you’d leave again…

But it clicked after a while. You had yearned to see your family and the house you grew up in, that had been true, but now you were yearning for your home. So you decided to pick up your phone and try to remedy that, even by a little.

Mark had picked up, half-asleep when he answered. You weren’t sure if he was just napping or actually sleeping with his current work schedule, but you’d apologize for that later. All you needed was to see that sleepy face squinting at the phone, his hair messy as hell as he slowly recognized your face.

“Hi, baby,” his sleep-riddled voice had croaked out. “Everything good?”

That feeling dissipated a little. “It’s better now,” you said, sitting down on your bed. “Sorry I woke you up.”

“Nah, nah,” he mumbled, “I��m good. I’m awake. I’m—” He stifled a yawn for a moment. “I’m awake, I swear. Everything good at home?”

“Yeah, yeah… Everything’s fine.”

Mark sat up, suddenly looking a bit more awake than before. “You can tell me,” he said. “I’m awake now, I swear—”

With a sigh, you flopped back onto your bed. “Just… I dunno. I’m here, and I thought that would get rid of the homesickness, and it mostly does, but…”

“But?”

How were you supposed to say it without getting embarrassed…? “I… miss my home still.”

“But you’re—” Mark stopped short, the realization dawned on him. “Aw… Babe…”

“Don’t say it.”

“I’m your home?” He was smiling hard, and you buried your face in your free hand. “No, no, it’s cute! Don’t get embarrassed! It’s cute, I swear!”

“It’s just weird to hear it out loud.”

He chuckled warmly. “Well,” he shifted, running a hand through his hair. “You’re my home, too.”

You whined, “Mark…”

“I mean it! It always feels like home when you’re around.” His eyes were twinkling when he looked at you, and you started to wish he was there with you all over again. “It’s like… I dunno. I go out with my bros and stuff, but it’s not the same, y’know? You’re not here to remind me to stop ordering so much takeout and stuff.”

It earned a snort from you. “Because you’re not the best cook, Mark.”

“Right! But, like, I can manage… probably. I’m gonna get better. Once you get back, you can teach me all those cool recipes again and I’ll keep practicing.”

You let out a blissful sigh at the idea. Sure, not all of your cooking lessons landed well, but you still loved spending the time with Mark. “We can try again, yeah,” you smiled, not quite so focused on him anymore. That hollow feeling in your chest had disappeared. “Mark?”

“Mhm?”

“I miss you.”

He smiled again, eyes twinkling. “Oh, yeah?”

“Don’t be a dork about it,” you giggled. “I just wanted to say it.”

“Well, I miss you, too.” He ran another hand through his hair, only making it messier. “Bring me back something cool, alright? Other than you.”

It earned a snort-y laugh from you. “Mark. Baby. I’m not cool.”

“No, no, you’re like… the coolest person I know, easily.”

You rolled your eyes. “And you’re my favorite dork, you dork.”

“Your dork.”

It made you smile again. “Yeah,” you sighed blissfully. “My dork.”

taglist: @twancingyunhao

#wooahaes.dec23 #wooahaes.fic #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct imagine #nct dream imagine #nct 127 imagine #mark lee x reader #mark lee imagine #mark lee fluff

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anundyingfidelity · 11 days

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I'M A RUIN — Soldier Boy/Ben (Part VII)

Series summary: After the events of the Seven Tower, you present Grace Mallory a new secret project you're working on already to develop a cure to Compound V. The only problem? You need Soldier Boy for that.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female reader.

Word count: 3.2k.

Warnings for series: set after S3 (spoilers), some OOC!Ben, some depressed!Ben, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, slow-burn, language, PTSD, reader has Compound V (she's no Vought supe tho), Soldier Boy being an usual asshole, reader is a fucking liar.

Warnings on this chapter: sexual tension, suggestive stuff.

Notes: bonding chapter of this slow burn aaaa thanks again for reading :D

this fic tags: @k-slla @syrma-sensei @mostlymarvelgirl @cheynovak @drasticemotions @soldirboy @deans-spinster-witch

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

get yourself in the taglist!

GEN MASTERLIST! — SERIES MASTERLIST!

Part VII: No More Doubts

When you left the motel early after a quick and dull breakfast, Ben was a pain in the ass as he kept asking question after question on the road. You knew he could just leave you alone but it wasn’t really something you’d like him to do. He was a fugitive, so were you. Soldier Boy knew better than that and he only had to stay by your side as much as he hated the idea. The only thing you could truly answer was that you were driving to a safer place. At least you were hoping it was. When you pulled the car after driving hours between the grove, Soldier Boy was waking up from his nap. You thanked heaven for that.

“We’re here,” you announced, turning off the engine.

Ben stirred on his seat, taking in the view of the house and nature and got out of your car, following you to the front door. He couldn’t help but to look around in somewhat awe. It was a large cottage-style house decorated with earth tones, great walls and columns. The place was surrounded by countless trees, making the weather bearable and somewhat nice due to the hidden location. The leaves climbed on some of the windows and the plants and flowers rested on the ground perfectly neat. He assumed you came here often. But it wasn’t really the place you used to come by and sleep every single day. It was too far away from the facility. As you unlocked the door, Ben followed inside, not without taking a last glance at your surroundings. No homes were near, nothing was to be seen. Only you and him inside this big fucking house.

The indoors were no different from the impression he got first. The decoration, the expensive sofa where you threw the sports bag, and the paintings and pots all over the place were saying you were rich. Of course, a fucking rich whore you were, he thought to himself. And he wondered where your real place was located.

“So, I’m gonna show you a guest room and then around, please don’t screw my house,” you said, giving him the sports bag.

“Got something to drink?” he asked, a smirk plastering on his face as he stepped closer to where you were standing.

“Water I do.”

Ben chuckled for a bit, eyes not leaving your face. “You’re so fucking boring, you know?”

“Yeah, well, alcohol is not really an important supply. Just follow me and maybe I’ll get you some later,” you said, turning around to get to the stairs.

You knew he did as you asked when his big steps echoed around the place. Once you were on the second floor, you motioned him to the next room a couple of feet away from yours and gave him directions about the bathroom and the manners. If he was going to be in your place, then he had to behave.

“I told you already, I’m not a fucking animal,” he complained after hearing your orders.

“Sure,” you dragged the word, eyes narrowed. “Because last night you were so civilized in the bathroom.”

He scoffed and then chuckled. “Did I get too loud?”

“You fucking tell me,” you replied with a much annoying smile on your face to match his own.

“Could’ve joined me. We’re not patient and doctor anymore,”

“No.”

Just as the last word fell off your lips, your phone rang. Quickly you took the call, realizing it was Grace. You left Soldier Boy in his room and walked down the stairs a little too fast.

“You made it?” she asked on the other line.

“Yeah, arrived just minutes ago,” you answered, checking the stairs in case he followed. “Where are you, Grace?”

“That doesn’t matter. I have something for you.”

“Okay, tell me.”

“I will text you an address and an hour. Today. Don’t miss it.”

Your phone buzzed, announcing the information had arrived.

“I won’t.”

“I’ll keep calling through different phone numbers. Do what you have to do to complete the cure,” she said, like if she knew what was happening between both now.

Soldier Boy was unbearable but you had to keep him on track. Luckily, you were back home again and you’ll be working on the Anti V soon, praying the last bits of information and results of the last test were there for some reason.

“I’m doing my best,” you sighed.

Grace hummed.

“Good.”

“Any updates so far?”

Ben’s smooth voice woke you up from your daydreaming while you sat together in the dining room.

You had been able to make something quick for lunch after Grace called and you found yourself all jittery and tense, hoping Soldier Boy wouldn’t notice. But he did sense something different from you. So he kept insisting on what was going on.

“I don’t know,” you whispered, taking the last sip of water from your glass. You avoided his eyes, looking away.

He rolled his eyes and narrowed at you. “Has your office contacted you?”

You shook your head.

“So they’re dead,” he said. Not asking, but affirming it.

A heavy sigh left your lips, your eyes going back to his harsh ones. “Leaving was the best.”

“Who’s that you keep in touch with?”

“What?”

Ben groaned slightly before snapping back with a low voice. “C’mon, Y/N. You called yesterday on the road, and now you receive a call. Who the fuck is it?”

His question is not just an inquiry anymore. He’s demanding to know. But you also know he hated Grace Mallory for putting him to sleep again, confined to a chamber where he’d be a trophy for the government to do whatever they wanted, how they wanted. Until you appeared, offering him empty words. Just like everyone.

“My superior.”

Your answer hit him like a truck. He knew it was Grace, but he didn’t like hearing it from you.

The truth was, Ben didn’t like you… Not that much. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. Sometimes he wanted to kill you, sometimes the small common sense he still had on his head would say you’d be better alive. He had been thinking of going away, but not he didn’t really want to. He knew you had been working with Grace, he was no idiot. So maybe staying close should get him even closer to Homelander and Vought. He also thought of Ryan back in the cell you had put him in. He was so damn afraid Ryan would become like his father. And since the brat has been protected before by many people, finding would not be easy. That’s where your contacts and network would be a help to him. He was hoping to find something at your place to find them and the information he craved.

“Right,” he said, alarmingly calm and quiet. He took the last bite of pasta on the plate and swallowed down in silence under your gaze. You didn’t know what else to say.

“So, these powers of yours,” he continued, drinking the last sip of juice. “How’d you get them?”

“Why do you want to know?”

He shrugged. “I mean, they’re pretty fucking useless against me,” his words made you chuckle. Of course you knew that. “But I’m just wondering if you’d be with them.”

Your face turned back to a somber demeanor. “The Seven?”

He gave you a nod.

“Well, it’s not like all supes dream of that,” you uttered. “I just wanted to be normal.”

Ben raised a brow at your sudden confession. “Someone exploded everyone’s heads at the CIA. Sorry to say, sweetheart, but you suck at being normal.”

“Yeah, details I have to work with.”

“I take it you never went to them,” he continued and saw confusion on your face. “Vought.”

The word made you shudder for a slight moment, and you quickly tried to collect yourself to avoid him noticing.

“No, I never did.”

He scrutinized your eyes, hearing the poor increase of your heartbeats. They were enough to tell him something was wrong. But he decided to play along, so he nodded and gave you a rather compassionate look.

“Must be thankful they didn’t fuck up your life then.”

He had no idea.

You had parked the car outside an abandoned gas station; it was one of the nearest grocery stores to your home years ago. The now wasteland was almost two hours away, with a gas station around ten miles elsewhere. You had been waiting for Grace outside the car, leaning against the hood. Bored, you checked your phone again. When you arrived it was already past three o’clock. When twenty minutes went by, you wanted so badly to drive and get inside the next store you see and buy yourself food and supplies enough to survive a week or two with the idiotic supe now staying at your home. Grace said would be calling through a different phone but you received no calls so far. You’ve been waiting for more than an hour and the drive home wasn’t going to be shorter. Suddenly another car came into sight, pulling over near yours. Two men came out of it.

“Doctor Y/N?”

The stranger with the unknown voice and a weird accent caught your attention. Soon, you found the two tall men standing in front of you in the parking lot.

“We’re here on behalf of Grace Mallory,” the man continued.

He wore a long dark trench coat, looking rough and intimidating. The total opposite to the younger one, who gave you a kind smile once your eyes settled on him.

“How-”

“We have something for you,” the younger man continued. “I’m Hughie. Hughie Campbell,” he introduced himself, giving you a hand and fixing the backpack on his shoulder with the other one. You took it after a moment of hesitation. “He’s Billy Butcher, we’ve worked with Grace before.”

You nodded. “I thought she was the one coming.”

“She’s not in shape for that,” Billy answered. He realized your face changed at his words and quickly explained himself. “Vought’s cunts are looking for her, not safe.”

“Fuck,” you mumbled under your breath. “Great, awesome. So what do you have for me?”

“We, uhm, we made it to your facility and thought these could do some help,” Hughie took out a pouch and gave it to you.

With trembling hands you opened the pouch and sighed in relief. Five test tubes of the Anti V prototype were laid there. “You found them.”

“And we found a little bit more,” Butcher continued. “Victoria Neuman exploded the heads of your employees back there. We believe Vought had been sneaking and getting spies for themselves.”

“Victoria is a supe,” you voiced out. “A supe is running for vice president…”

“Yeah, long story,” Hughie commented. “She’s obviously linked with Homelander and Vought. Everyone was dead when we arrived; lab assistants, guards, agents, the supes… We believe her mission was to just let you and Soldier Boy out, besides stealing information about the cure you’re working on. Probably to give it to Vought.”

“Anything weird happen there before the attack?” Billy asked, not giving you time to swallow Hughie’s words.

“Uhm, yeah. Actually my lab assistant… She tried to warn me and, well, she was crying and asking me to leave. I didn’t know why until her head just- you know…”

You choked a little with your words. The picture of her body and the last seconds of her life were all you got. Everything was equally horrible that day.

“I’m sorry,” Hughie whispered.

“It’s fine,” you cleared your throat. “And I assume you didn’t find anything else? Information? Files?”

“Computers were destroyed. No files. No info. Nothing,” Butcher answered. “Grace says you’re the leader of the project. You have copies, right?”

“Why everybody keeps fucking asking me that? Of course I do!” you almost yelled, eyes full of rage staring at him.

“Easy there, doc,” Butcher lifted up his hands in surrender. “We just wanna get rid of those cunt supes as much as you want. Nothing wrong to make sure.”

“Well, I do have them,” you replied with a cocky smile. “Thank you very much for your concern, Adele.”

Butcher rolled his eyes, sharing a look with Hughie before switching his attention back to you.

“Yeah, sure you do, luv.”

It was already seven o’clock when you arrived home with supplies and food. Ben, as usually, acted like a fucking caveman claiming he was hungry and you had to act like the housewife, serving him a fucking hamburger and a glass of wine. That was the only liquor you bought. Despite his complaints, his hunger was greater and he devoured the greasy food with no table manners at all.

“You could chew your food like a fucking human being, you know,” you said, eating the last french fries you had.

He turned his eyes to your face, pointing with his finger. “You were gone for like five hours.”

“So? There’s fruit in the fridge.”

Ben narrowed his gaze, like if he had been offended.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how to serve something for yourself,” you teased. He didn’t say a word, and you giggled. “That’s fucking pathetic.”

He leaned towards the dining table, eyes locked on yours. “No, you just don’t know your fucking place, woman.”

“I just saved your life, Ben. At least say thanks,” you beamed, having too much fun by seeing him upset for mundane things.

“No, you didn’t.”

You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your wine. “Fine. I didn’t. Let’s go past this and start over. If you’re gonna live here, for now, then you’ll have to learn how to respect me.”

His brows raised. “I thought I already did.”

“Offering yourself to fuck me in a cheap motel is not respectful, Soldier Boy.”

“Well, I didn’t try anything, did I?” Ben finished his sentence at the same time he finished his dinner.

He waited for a smart comeback from you but it never came. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and a stupid grin appeared on his lips. “Unless you want to.”

“No, we’ve been through it. My answer is still no.”

“Then, mind to fucking tell me if you found something by now?”

He changed the topic swiftly. His playful demeanor switched immediately and you sighed, knowing he might have to hear anything to keep him down.

“You’re in danger.”

“I’m the strongest supe ever, that doesn’t make any damn sense,” Ben scoffed.

“Listen, we need to hide from Vought. Hide and not leave a trace, because now I’m involved with you and they’re absolutely looking for your ass,” you gave him a stern look as you went on. “If I fall, you go with me. And if you fall, then I don’t know if they’d still want me. But you’ll be fucked anyway.”

Ben nodded. In his mind, it didn’t sound like a bad plan. In the end, that’s what he wanted; to get closer to Vought and Homelander to get over with them. The world didn’t deserve those fuckers. And as much as Homelander was created with his own DNA, he knew better than to let a scum like him walk around the planet. You already gave him something, a clue. He had to play along for now. If they took you in first, then he might probably bargain to be him instead. It was only fair. He was the one that mattered anyway.

“Okay, I get it. I’ll stay here. But I don’t want those fucking therapies anymore,” he expressed, his gaze not moving away from the surprised look on your face. “Understand?”

You blinked a couple of times, shifting on your seat and chuckling under your breath. “It’s fine, believe me. I can’t stand you more than you do.”

Ben held your gaze, daring you to try something else. Instead, you smiled and got up and took your empty dishes to the sink. His eyes followed your moves, focusing on your small shorts and the softness of your legs. And you knew he was definitely checking you out when you talked.

“By the way, you’ll have to help me wash the dishes.”

He stood up, plates on his hands and walked behind your figure, putting them on the sink as you opened the faucet. His arms surrounded you once he did so and you flinched a bit. Ben smirked, feeling the reaction of your body trapped against his.

“Get away,” you ordered in a whisper, unable to move.

“I’m helping you, Y/N,” he breathed your name against your neck, his hand wrapping on yours gripping on the edge of the sink.

The only sound now was his hot breath on your skin and the water flowing. You quickly turned the faucet off, but you didn’t try to push him away.

It was the second time during the day he had said your name, ever. And you wouldn’t deny it sounded fucking delightful. He had only addressed you as his ‘doctor’, but now it was different. Though, you didn’t want to give into him. He was a huge douchebag and you were basically forced to spend time with him, in your home, without really wanting him there. You felt his lips ghosting over the sensitive skin of your neck, and the primal part of you yearned for his touch, but the rational one won over and you freed yourself from his arms.

“Stop doing that,” you warned once you were face to face. His eyes were dark already and had a sparkle you knew too much since the day before.

“Alright,” he nodded.

“Just- let’s just wash these. I want to sleep.”

With a tired sigh, you walked down the basement. It was already midnight and Ben was locked inside his room, probably jerking off or something since you, once again, rejected him in your kitchen. Inside the dark room, you found the metal door that let you inside the bunker and unlocked it with the code. When you stepped in, you made sure to turn on the power and lights that illuminated the room and the small lab in the back. The computers started to run and you sat down on the main monitor, leaving the pouch with the Anti V tubes on the side of the desk.

Yeah, you might have told Butcher and Grace you had copies of every detail of the project. But you were afraid of the last stuff you discovered just before the attack. You knew well how the information was protected and encrypted, but it didn’t really assure you the profile of Solaris would be there. He was the first and last supe who had his powers off for a couple of hours at least and the feeling of losing it all had been eating you the last few hours after meeting with Grace’s messengers.

It took you a while to decrypt the system, something you had been already used to doing every time you got there to keep working on it, just to make sure no one would steal it. Hopefully, Vought hadn’t discovered it before destroying the facilities, you thought. And after a while, you found the last updates of the last test your team ran. Solaris profile and test was there. Not just in written letters, but the footage of the test and the exact formula that was used too. Now, you were so lucky.

“Well, thank you, Bianca. Wherever you are,” you whispered to yourself and took a tube from the pouch the men gave you earlier. You had a busy night ahead.

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