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#Like yeah his image she has of him isn't great but he would rather it stay the same than have it change drastically or something
pyxscythe · 8 months
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He's lived with this persona for so long as if it was second skin and seeing it break, especially to someone that only ever viewed him as what he showed could shatter him even more and possibly cause him to think maddy be possibly scared off by the true him if there was one
The concept that he has no fucking sense of self outside of his persona he's lived with and he doesn't wanna fall apart that badly in the eyes of the only 'friend' he's ever had the person who has known him the longest
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randomgentlefolk · 4 months
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CPC CHAPTER 168
I'M GONNA. I'M GOING TO.
Oh thank goodness Frederick has a cat-like flexibility. No but fr tho. The fact that he can fit in small places and just, fold his body??? He's a cat.
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OH I AM SO DOWN TO GWEN, AURELIA, THE POSSUM, AND THE RAT PROTECTING FREDERICK LET'S GOOOOO. Also The possum and Gwen's sharp teeth and Aurelia's spit? Heck yeah. AND THEN AURELIA PROTECTING GWEN!! I'm so glad she had a redemption arc :')
OH. OH. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. Do you understand the amount of time I've been thinking about Frederick throwing a book at his bullies and Leland to the point I want to draw it but give up midway due to unable to draw anatomy of a person throwing a book? Yeah. And Frederick calling Leland a doofus LOLLLL.
Curtis not being able to see shit but still defending the aid kit station pretty well? That's what I call true skill. I mean he's really fighting multiple soldiers with armor and spear, and he's winning. But man his hand tho. I'm guessing those are from splinter and maybe some sorta swelling from holding the broom too long (idk how to describe it) or smth? Those has got to hurt...
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HAHAHAHHAHAH I can't believe I didn't expect she would say that LMAO. Also she looks so goofy in the second image HAHA.
Nah the commander really went for Laverne too... Did Leland even agree on that?
Omg....Lorena catching Suzie....Lorzanna....
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Leland's strength continues to terrify me. He just broke stair railing that seems to be made from marble, WITH HIS BARE HAND. I swear the Pastel palace is gonna need LOTS of renovation after all of these end.
"You don't decide what you want" oh bull I say, bull. Boooo Leland rotten tomatoes rotten tomatoes boooo nobody likes you go home boooo rotten tomatoes.
Eugh I'm surprised Frederick hasn't broken AT LEAST a bone with how much he got slammed and thrown hardly. The door broke bro the door broke. His spine...
Now that I think about it never have i ever with syrah would probably be wild XD
Okay at this point I am the most glad that frederick told cpc because otherwise many bad things would happen...
Wait a minute. What happened to spider Prez? I can't seem to remember...Did she pass out after breaking the door?
Wait so the Plaidypus isn't the royal plaid army?? Wait cause I'm kinda confused now :') if someone can explain it to me that would be great.
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OH CRAP OH NO.
Shit, Frederick fr need a doctor asap. All those tossing around, the dusts, nah...
Okay this is sad and all but Syrah with the long nose made me giggle.
THANK YOU PRINCEL-WHOSE-NAME-HASN'T-BEEN-REVEALD!! Blaine really missed like ¾ of the war lmao.
I swear cpc is responsible for me learning new vocabularies daily.
OH??? BLAINE?? BLAINE??? I don't, I really don't know how to start.
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First of all, there's a new meaning to this. So what I'm getting here, Blaine wants to be at the top because if he gets all the attention, Lance and Frederick won't be in trouble because he thought Leland wouldn't notice him much then. I suppose what's in Blaine's mind is, it's better to be neglected by your shitty parents rather than being noticed and verbally/physically abused by them?
Okay, I'm starting to get it. I'm the youngest sibling so I don't know if I'm getting it correctly, but this is what I get: "I will take all the abuse from our father so you, my younger brothers, can live a happy life without being notices by him."
Older siblings, amirite?
So, Blaine has been trying to protect his brothers but because Frederick keeps upsetting Leland and then making him proud, Blaine's plan keeps on being in shambles?
One thing I'm confused about though. Hear me out, Blaine most likely has golden child syndrome right? So how do we draw a line between which act is because wanting to succeed due to believing that's all his worth, and which act is from protecting his brothers?
Oh but he still owes Frederick and Lance lots of apologies though. Don't think I can forget what you said to Frederick in the dungeon, Blaine. That chapter broke me. To Lance, well, to be honest I don't exactly know what he should apologize about, but I feel like Blaine still has to? Sorry, I'm not making sense. Maybe apologize due to not talking to Lance and Frederick about his plan?? Oh man someone help me–
Imagine this tho: Blaine apologizing to Lance and Frederick for letting them get hurt by father, but then Isolde came and assured him that what Leland do isn't his fault. Haha I love to analyze this guy's mental health.
I hope he goes to therapy after this is all over. The plaid princes really need a lot of therapy. Actually the whole plaid family need therapy.
Okay say goodbye to my professionalism for awhile.
OABDUANSUAKSBW BLAINE??? PROTECTING FREDERICK?? THIS IS LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE. LAMBCATTTT THANK YOU LAMBCATTT!!!!
Frederick looks so amazed and I won't blame him cause I WOULD TO. IF I WAS ABOUT TO DIE, And someone suddenly came to save me, then proceed to throw the bad guy and himself out of the window by breaking the window and letting the damn sun rise view come in. I. I would look like that.
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Blaine looking at the sunrise and realizing the true meaning of life and contemplating what he has done. I love him so much you got this bro.
Also Blaine turns out to be strong! I remember headcanons of him being the weakest out of the three. I mean that could still happen, but the fact that he carried Leland in which who knows how much he weights, and threw him out of the window. Damn.
But they're still falling though, that's not good. I doubt Blaine will die for that matter. It would be wasteful. He barely had his redemption arc. I'm thinking either he uses Leland to break his fall, or Nell's premonition about the tent save him. But the forest is a little far though... Oh! Or maybe, because the pastel kingdom is full of hills, they would fall and roll down towards the tent! That's a possibility!
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SHE'S WEARING RED. I REPEAT, SHE'S WEARING RED!!!! YOOOO I WONDER WHAT SHE DID?? I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER...which is in 20 minutes lmao
That's it for now. See ya next chapter!
Mono out! (But still in to hear your thoughts. Please actually tell me your thought on this because I NEED answers and theories. Also psychology analization will actually make me go insanely happy)
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aladaylessecondblog · 1 month
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Red Mountain Waffle House pt. 3
When Sadara first start working, the walk to work wasn't that bad. Sure, she and Jiub had to keep an eye out, and keep their hands on the company issued swords. Sure, there were cliffracers. Sure, there were corprus monsters, and the occasional skooma-head. Sure, she'd been nicked by one of the crazier ash monsters. Well, bitten, rather, but Jiub had helped her toss the guy out and cleaned up the wound.
It wasn't that bad. They, as Jiub was so fond of saying, had faced a lot worse. Like when they'd lived on the Waterfront in the Imperial City those couple of years. As long as they kept Sadara's ring covered up, and didn't make eye contact with any of the addicts or corprus monsters, and kept a watch around them, it wasn't that dangerous.
And night shift could be fairly pleasant, when there wasn't someone fighting or making a nuisance of themselves. When Nibani was there sometimes she'd even put something on the jukebox while they all did some cleaning up...as they were all doing tonight.
"Did you two clean out the fryer like I told you?"
"Yeah, yeah, Jiub's just, uh...he's washing the baskets out. They were just extra-clogged today."
(What Sadara did NOT say was that the hot water was out in the shithole their landlord called an apartment, and so Jiub was bathing in the enormous backroom sink.)
And then there was a sound she had not yet heard in her time living and working in Red Mountain.
The sound of rain on the roof.
Nibani stirred from the back off, and opened all the window blinds.
"It's nice to see rain," Sadara gave a slight smile, "Isn't it? I hope it'll go on a while, we could use it right now."
"This isn't about liking rain," came the harried reply, "Because it doesn't just up and RAIN here around Red Mountain."
"What's the deal? It's only rain."
"It is NOT only RAIN. Lesson...I'm not even counting anymore. Something you should hold to if you forget everything else I tell you. When it's raining, Dagoth Ur is out and about."
"Dagoth...what, the evil guy in the volcano?"
"Evil guy in the--that demon is no mere mer! You outlanders--you don't understand the danger he presents. The blight winds spread his disease and his dreams. And those who fall under his influence--"
"He's dangerous, I get it. But I was always under the impression that he never left the volcano. At least that's what everyone here has told me."
"Of course the dunmer of the Great Houses would say such things. They don't know. They don't know what it is to--" Nibani was silent for a minute, and walked closer to the window, squinting, and murmuring, "When old Dagoth goes walking, he comes with the rains, the dead follow after, and all hope he drains."
"What's that?"
"An old ashlander song. If he comes in--"
"Be prepared to fight?" Sadara asked, "I'll handle him."
"You will do no such thing!" Nibani burst out, "Do you have a death wish?"
"If I can handle a drunk guy with a broken bottle I can handle this Dagoth guy. And I don't mean fighting. Did you think I was going to go out swinging? I know how to play the game. You want me to be diplomatic, and I will be."
"But not too polite. Or he'll think you're interested in joining his...'family.'"
"I don't think we have to worry about that." Jiub finally emerged from the back room, and went to the grill.
"Where's your shirt?"
"Wet. I fell in the sink."
"The same as with the sleepers and dreamers, then." Sadara looked back to Nibani, took a momentary breath, lit a cigarette, and got a few puffs in before replying again. "It'll be FINE. He's probably out testing the Ghostfence for weaknesses, or...something. Old man hobbies."
From what she had heard of Dagoth Ur so far, that was how she imagined him. Oh sure, the pamphlets talked him up, painted a nice picture of what image they wanted to put forward, but she was pretty sure no man, even a god, would be looking like that. She remembered depictions of the Nine back in Cyrodiil, how a few people had seen them in dreams. Sure they would be pretty, or majestic, but they'd be dressed.
Only an old man had this kind of chutzpah, to go about wearing a loincloth like he was said to do.
(Imagining him like this was better, too, than just being out and out scared like some of the others. Took the edge of it off a little.)
Nibani, however, would not be so easily calmed down about it. She kept a watch out by one of the windows as she worked on the next week's schedules. They had four or five Temple pilgrims come in, too, equally frightened. They ordered to-go boxes and left quickly.
The rain grew heavier, and Nibani stiffened at one point. She leaned up to the window by the plant, and looked carefully out.
"Azura preserve me..."
"What? Big temple group?"
"It's him," she said in a strained voice. "Him!"
"Alright, calm down and we'll handle it," Sadara replied, "I'm sure he can't be up here for very much. He'll come, maybe intimidate us, and leave. What use does he have for waffles?"
"Man's gotta eat," Jiub shrugged. "Hey, when did you get the Ald'ruhn 700s?"
"The other day." Sadara got a few of them out. Not until they sorted this little gift did she finally look up to the window again.
Someone was definitely coming up the path, someone frankly enormous. Tall as hell, wearing very little, and as they passed under the sign, the light it gave glinted off...the mask.
That mask, the one that the temple pilgrims and non-Tribunal faithful alike seemed so fearful of. THAT mask.
She took a deep breath and resolved to be as polite as possible. She talked a big enough game with fighting, but really, there'd be far less injuries with words than with weapons. But, she thought, keeping her hand on the Waffle House branded iron sword, it was good to be ready.
The bell at the door rung, the mer ducked, and entered.
The first time she laid eyes on Dagoth Ur, Sadara could only think that the pamphlets had only been exaggerating a little bit. He was built well, exactly the sort of body made for showing off. It left nearly nothing to the imagination, that loincloth, though. He had to be freezing...or fuck it, she thought, he was a god, did it really matter what he wore if he could control so much else?
"Will you be needing a towel?" she asked, "We've got some dry ones."
There wasn't an immediate answer. The mask turned at the noise, and looked in her direction. Its gaze moved down, looking right at the ring on her finger, before moving back up. He reached up, and twisted at his lengthy dark hair, wringing it out.
"That would be advantageous, yes."
His voice was rather lyrical, in a way. Not quite a baritone. A deep tenor.
She handed over a towel, and went back to cleaning the table in front of her, then once he'd taken a seat she walked back over.
"Coffee, I imagine? After a trip in that weather you must need warming up."
He agreed, and she brought it over. There was a brief moment of skin contact and she mused briefly that he didn't seem cold. He was a dead god, a dead man, they all said, and yet he was warm? Interesting.
"Something on your mind?"
He'd noticed, and trying not to anger him she hurriedly said, "I've been told you're...undead, and yet you're warm. Forgive me for--for musing on that."
He laughed, and despite not seeing his face she could almost see the smile. Certainly she could hear it in that jovial sound.
"I hope in future you won't pay heed to such rumors. I can be as warm as I please."
That was when the mask came down, and the cup of coffee was lifted to his lips.
Sadara had a moment to look. High cheekbones, two red eyes as expected, but on his forehead was opened a third. The two below were focused on the cup, but the third met her own, and she looked quickly away, not eager to be caught staring.
"I've had a few of your...ah...followers here, trying to steal my plant," she finally said, having grasped for a subject to speak on that wasn't his lack of dress or third eye. "They keep saying it belongs to you. I suppose you've come to collect it?"
"No, nothing of the sort. And frankly, I'm of a mind to let you keep it. Has it flourished?"
"Oh, yes, unlike all the other plants I've ever kept," Sadara gave a brief laugh. "I've got a black thumb, if you'd believe it, never grown anything from seed to flower on my own. Normally I'd kill a plant without even meaning to, but this one..."
"This one simply grows for you."
There was a smile then, and she had a sudden strange feeling of déjà vu.
"Yeah..."
He asked about several things while he sat there, drinking the coffee and later eating the waffle covered in several different syrups. And when Nibani left for the back office, he asked another question.
"Have you been injured?" he pointed to the bandage on her arm.
"That? Oh...well, a week ago," Sadara shrugged. "Someone decided it was a fantastic idea to bite me and I've been--I covered it with antiseptics and put a bandage over it even after healing it, just in case."
"And you've been well since then?" Dagoth Ur sounded concerned, and she reminded herself it was an act.
"Well enough. I haven't noticed anything strange like they said it would if it turned out to be..."
"Corprus." His expression shifted into the slightest of smiles. "Let me see it. No one could tell you better if that is indeed what it was."
"It's not necessary, really." But not wanting to be rude she uncovered the spot to show the healing scar. "I'm fairly certain if it was the divine disease...I'd be breaking out in a rash right now."
"Unless, of course..."
One of those long-fingered hands moved over the wound as Dagoth Ur's sentence petered out. After a slight glow--a diagnostic spell, she recognized it--he looked up with something of a smile.
"It is indeed corprus."
"But how--I would've been--"
"There is one circumstance which would explain this," and here his tone brightened even more, "And everything else here, too. The ring, the plant. And that explanation is that you are Nerevar reborn."
"What?"
Nerevar reborn? THAT old story? Everyone here said it was lies, said it wasn't possible. Well not everyone--Nibani seemed to believe it.
He withdrew his hand, paid, and left. With him went the rain, which over the next hour slowed and then stopped.
But his departure had kicked off a whole other storm in her head.
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inu-jiru · 3 months
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For the ask game!
13. I saw your art on the goetia sometimes doing adverts for products in your rewrite. Do you have ideas for what other sins are advertising? It is a really neat idea! :0c
Ahhh! Great question! For "H U N G E R", I imagine the Sins have their own products to sell, as well as any collaborative projects they might do since a lot of sin tends to overlap:
For Pride, I don't see Lucifer really selling anything unless it's based off him in some way (i.e. a film adaptation of his various deeds). I seem him more as a straight up propaganda guy who'll just plaster his image everywhere to make sure everyone knows he's in charge (and it irritates him greatly when they're destroyed, but that's a different discussion entirely ;3). Lucifer's already paid a large amount in taxes from everyone (Goetias and Sins included), so money isn't his main concern.
Satan typically collabs with Belphegor to advertise steroids and I also see him hosting Hell's version of WWE (except a lot more violent). I do plan on keeping some of the wild west/ranch elements from canon, and Hellborn who own land can advertise their goods if they can afford it.
Beelzebub advertises various food items, but mainly pushes her own line of honey which is dangerously addictive (eating it can send a demon spiraling into a gluttonous frenzy). She also has her own food channel where some members of the Goetia (like Queen Felicity) host their own cooking shows (she'll regularly make demands on what kind of food they produce since it's all food porn to her, so if one day she wants to see some poor imp butchered and made into a roast, it has to happen). As much as I didn't care for "Queen Bee", I did think the idea of pop music and parties fit Gluttony in a sense that, yeah, people splurge when they're partying, so she'd have a hand in pushing Hell's music industry as well.
Mammon handles much of Hell's manufacturing, so anything from clothes, jewelry, theme parks and anything else he can make a buck on, he'll advertise (mainly to the other Goetia since most Hellborn can't afford the good stuff). He's not above the idea of "sex sells", so I tried to implement that in the art piece I did. A story in the series I hope to get to at one point relates to his and Leviathan's collaboration in bringing cruise ships to Envy's ocean, so that'll be fun to write more about.
Lust, of course, manages the porn industry and everything involved with that. Collaborations would include aphrodisiac-based foods with Beelzebub as well as some darker projects that I'd rather not outright state here, but involve Belphegor (you can probably piece it together; this series won't shy away from dark topics, but I wanna give fair warning before I go into detail). Ironically enough, Asmodeus doesn't advertise contraceptives all that much, but I imagine he'd want pregnancy and disease to spread like crazy.
Envy tends to overlap with Greed when it comes to goods, but I can't see Leviathan advertising very much. He's the most animalistic out of the Sins and prefers the primal fear and chaos he gets out of his demons rather than material gain. He only really bothers to do it because he can't stand the other Sins having things that he doesn't.
Finally, Sloth is the mass producer of drugs of all kinds, uppers, downers, the works. Belphegor also endorses spas and resorts (for those who can afford it, of course). She doesn't advertise much, and that suits her fine since it's less work to deal with.
I'm sorry if this answer was super rambly aaaa I was just really excited to answer! ^^ Hopefully, it's an interesting read!
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lazaruspiss · 2 months
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Hi, I wanted to know if you've read Red Hood: The Hill and if so I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!
I liked issue 0 but my enjoyment kind of teetered off with issue 1 & 2
i dont read n52 but i gave it a go just for u <3 under the cut is a bit of a "brief" live read. TLDR: it's good, but it seriously does stop being about jason very quickly. if you read issue 0 and get really invested in dana then i think you'll like it, if not, then issue 0 is still a good read with great art.
Issue 0: some little timeline/canon details throw me off, but thats to be expected for any n52 story. the art is fantastic, and the shoe thing is so real. i still have no clue why sneakerheads are the way they are lmao. again, the art is phenomenal so far. Croc my beloved <3<3 i like how it's clear that Jason picked up on the secret identities pretty quickly, but its not really told to us so much as gestured towards via innuendo.
also, denise is pretty. i love her earrings in the diner scene. she also just kind of says what I've been thinking, that there's a risk to an independent neighbor watch the same as there is for any vigilante crime fighter. not just for the vigilantes safety, but for the safety of the people theyre supposed to protect as well. both sisters are justified in their position and i think it's a really well done conflict. it also manages to keep jason involved in the middle without making it just feel awkward or taking away from the importance of dana and denise.
"Batman swings on rooftops. I work the streets." <3 jason cool. and back to our main bad, i love how clearly image obsessed he is. it's done in a way that feels super believable too, like you could really meet a guy that insecure and egotistical lmao.
ohhhh and this is interesting. they're leaning into a family themeing, and the references to bruce make me feel like they're setting up a mending between those two. it's a bit... i have trouble with that. i don't think a mended relationship between bruce and jason is necessarily the best story direction for all their history. but The Hill so far is doing a positive light Jason-Bruce relationship better than most things ive read. It makes sense to have him be sentimental about his father when he has to stop a vigilante from killing. the end sort of, i guess i can call it a villain twist? I like it.
though the nods towards bruce make me uneasy. thats a very difficult relationship to balance, and its feels like its very much going to skew a certain way rather than falling into that "its complicated" territory that i like.
Issue 1: murder grandma! very jarring very cool. the writing still isn't bad but i think it might be a problem of issue 0 being so strong that the after feels lackluster. the writing is a bit more on the nose, and more emotional/character related aspects fall to the wayside for the action parts.
Issue 2: oh. ew. splicing a makeout scene with narration about an uninvolved man's life falling apart. i saw someone say it ended up being more about dana than jason, and im really starting to see what they meant with this issue. it's not the worst thing in the world, but it's understandable to be disappointed by that. the writing is also just gradually starting to lag. i havent checked, but if this is the same writer as issue 0 then im tempted to say it mightve been a crunch time problem.
back to the actual story, jason is less the main character and more taking the role of a mentor figure for dana. it keeps getting less and less about jason and more and more noticeable that it is less and less about jason.
Issue 3: croc <3<3<3 and yeah this series really stops having much to do with jason. we learn which vigilantes the neighborhood watch would smash tho, lol.
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there's even references to the fact that jason plans on moving back towards batman's parts of gotham, like this is not a series about him at all after issue 0. i thought they were setting up development of bruce and jason's relationship, but there were really just setting up an excuse for jason to leave. "This is your bad guy, Dana. And I told you. I'm not staying." this series is 100% meant to set up dana as a bigger character. I feel conflicted about it, bc obviously that's not what people are necessarily expecting/hoping for when they pick up something titled Red Hood. but how else can you try and introduce a successful new character? I know dana isn't entirely new, but it's incredibly difficult to give a foothold to characters that haven't been around for long enough. i think that's partially a side effect of how DC operates, and just a result of general familiarity bias.
anyways. issue 3 ends with batman showing up. i don't think I'll be checking back for future issues.
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shizuoi · 3 months
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Talk Shop Tuesday: what’s a character you feel no one understands like you do?
seek i feel like you're handing me lit stick of dynamite with this ask dsjakkdshgfdjl to pull a reaction image that you use a lot:
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i'm generally a pretty laidback person in fandom like if i see a portrayal that i don't agree with it's like "alright you're entitled to your opinion, not my problem"
HOWEVER i'm holding tewksbury from the enola holmes movies in my arms and beating people off with a stick. idk if it's just how explosive enola is combined with the earnestness of his character and how besotted his is with enola but i feel like this becomes an excuse to see him as an always agreeable perfect gentleman with no personality other than how would do anything for enola. she's his first and only priority and thinks of nothing else except how great she is as he watches her do her thing with wide eyes. which yeah, he likes her a lot and he's a nice guy. but also he's fucking weird.
this is the same man that has to fend off girls at balls and then spends the rest of his time sniffing plant leaves. this is the same guy who is the youngest member of the house of lords and is holding his own in parliament and throwing his hat into the ring in supporting some insanely progressive legislature for the time period the story is set in. this is the guy who (as a pretty young teenager) saw his dad die and then decides to throw himself headfirst into running away to london with no money and support bc he'd rather do that than join the military. sure he isn't as deductively smart or physically skilled in weaponry as enola is, but he's sharp and driven and intelligent and, in a lot of ways, a lot savvier than enola and that gets lost in how i see him portrayed.
enola is the main character bc the series is named after her and all but i sincerely doubt that she'd find tewksbury half as interesting if he were the way he's written in most things i've seen 😵‍💫😵‍💫
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itllbeokay.mov
[It's a video! It looks like this one wasn't meant to be uploaded, as the camera-Rotom, Cross, flits from Vanilla to Aspear and back, video settings changing on the fly. This must be some sort of set-up...?]
"Yeah, Cross, a little bit brighter. Yeah! Perfect!"
"i-i'm doing okay...?"
"Vanilla, why'd you go and give a perfectly good Rotom anxiety."
"She came like that! And she's perfectly good with her anxiety too. You're doing great, Cross."
"p-pzzt!"
[The camera does a 360-degree twirl. It appears its possessor is quite pleased with herself.]
"So... the plan. You want every person in Unova to see what sort of motives this guy has, yeah?"
"Yeah. I mean... you're right. Interpol hasn't done shit about him so far. Maybe if we get enough people angry...?"
"Best we got, anyways. Hey, maybe you could get somebody so pissed at him they just straight-up kill the guy. Not saying I'm endorsing that or anything! If you're recording this, Cross."
"n-noted..."
"Cross would never talk to cops. Isn't that right? Who's the best Rotom ever? Er... ahem. I just... hope this doesn't backfire."
"What, your disguise? Or this entire..."
[Aspear gestures at the lab as a whole.]
"Both."
"...You know, I wasn't quite expecting you to... suggest I disguise myself as your sister? I mean, isn't this kind of... aren't I a bit..."
"...Yeah, a little. Hey Cross, let's just keep the camera on Colress. The less you move the better, anyways."
[The camera pans up and down briefly. A nod.]
"But really, I don't know what else we can do. You can't exactly have a pleasant conversation with Colress as yourself. None of the kids in my lab ever met Colress, so that's suspicious. And I sure as hell don't want to start beef with my boss who's on Interpol's Top Wanted list without backup. So... just don't do anything weird. I know you're exes and all, but, like... be chill?"
"Yeah. Chill."
"...How good are you, at this? I never got a chance to see really. Other than the fighting."
"I mean, I got to know her pretty well, so..."
[The light around Vanilla distorts rather heavily... it's almost like it turns into smoke, blurring his image until what emerges is... pretty distinctly Cheri. She blinks a few times, checking over what aspects of her disguise she can see. It seems satisfactory.]
"Holy shit. I thought there'd be some kind of tell. Can you like... her voice...?"
"Yeah?? As long as you don't ask me to pronounce some suuuuuper crazy-long word or something, we're good, Spear!!"
"Dear fucking Arceus. You're... that's dangerous, man."
"I have noooo idea what you're talking about!!"
["Cheri" shakes her head, a bit like clearing an unwanted thought. Seems like it takes some effort to switch between voices like that...]
"Er... that is, yeah, I try not to use it too much. I'd make a damn good actor if I ever quit therapy, though."
[Aspear checks the time on his own Rotom Phone, thinks a bit, and then heads for the door. He looks nervous.]
"Yeah. I guess we don't have time for this though... Shit. It's already almost one? I'll get the door set. Just promise me that Sword of yours is actually gonna protect me..."
"Yeah, no problem. We got this."
"...sorry, Cheri. Think we're more than even after this one."
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Hiiiiii Dearest Jalebi, I love your Amazing Blog I have come across your blog few times on Google but thought the name was pretty weird havin no idea it was this gooood!!!! Anyways After a random ipk question search I finally landed here and it has been my fav place Since then and well later I found other blogs but yeah your my all tym Fav! So Yeah I have this thing and I wanna get it out of my chest , Ipk has been my fav as a kid but as a grown up whenever I re-watch ipk I kinda feel so crappy Because I now get How little knowledge lot of women and Khushi has about getting abused. Because in many indian households it's told that you have to endure whatever your husband and in laws does and never to point it OUT and then Only title of Achi Sanskari Bahu? Throughout the show they never pointed the toxicity of Arnav, What a Ahole he have been all while and I get it A&K have had great chemistry and sexual tension and all the abuse is been romatisised and then him redeeming himself I get it. But it feels so wrong at 1000's of levels as a grownup I can finally understand how little knowledge khushi had about her body and sex, How Arnav played two girls lives just because he's confused? And finally me realising that It's ok to walk out of such Toxic masculine, Irresistibly gorgeous man with head high rather than take crap and look for a ray of hope So one day he could love back , I'm not putting myself in khushi's shoes but lot of women in our society highly relates to lot of things that happened to khushi So I just wish my fav character was shown to grow in the show apart from just dreaming of getting married to a prince who comes on a gode, Sorry if my question offends you but it's just that as IPK was the first television show to experiment on anti hero, live in and much more they had much more potentiality and could have tried makin her finnally takin stand for herself rather than letting people walk all over her. She Was/Felt mature ,grownup and highly intelligent at starting but latter part of the show felt more as desperate wife,cringe, dumb and top notching it all with Mrs India plot. So yeah that's my ask and I want to know your opinion as I feel you would do more justification to my question than anyone.
Good night, tomorrow is the last working day of the week so have a good weekend later.
Hello Anon,
I think it's important to understand that the best way to enjoy media is to realize it isn't the guideline to everything.
Arnav and Khushi's romance is set in a very very fictional world. And I absolutely agree that media is fundamental for getting an image about romance and sex and more and our Indian media, often, fails at giving us a good picture and we're left with crappy representations.
Especially with IPK it always breaks my heart how the makers and other producers didn't move forward on the nuances that made this show work, but rather the problematics parts and have gone ahead to make successful shows which put people into the weird loop of (a) women should be virginal, sanskaari bahus (b) abusive men will turn into sappy lovers.
It's a crap idea. IPK holds a special place for me because it is actually very well nuanced. Khushi isn't Arnav's medicine. She doesn't heal his PTSD magically. They actually have a pretty crappy marriage until he starts putting the work in - which happens after the kidnapping track. Khushi's first attraction to Arnav is purely sexual and she's really uncomfortable with it because she doesn't know love separate from lust and love is not what she feels for him at first sight. And their actual consummation is very emotional and consensual.
So the more I've grown up, the more I've held an objective eye to IPK. It's tough to love something that's problematic but I understand the separation between what I want in my life versus what I love watching.
Like when I watch Miley Jab Hum Tum - I actually want a life partner like Samrat because he is the gold standard. When I see Tu Hai Mera Sunday I love Arjun from a point of view of him being a genuinely good guy.
When I come to IPK I write fix-it fanfics, edit the show in my head for what worked, and understand that nobody is perfect. Arnav wasn't, Khushi wasn't, the writers weren't and I open the space for critical discussions of the show while acknowledging it's pretty much the darn best in its category of shows.
I've yet to see an anti-hero better executed than Arnav Singh Raizada on paper. And this is different person to person. Some people love the show wholly for it but that is impossible for me - certain lines are drawn for me so I enjoy the show from my version of events.
That is - Lavanya wasn't forced to be desi, Khushi didn't harp on marriage nor spy on Lavanya on the wedding getup, Arnav didn't pull the faking illness thing on Khushi, there is an imaginary redemption track in my head, and sheetal and mrs india don't just exist - lol.
And to each their own :)
I hope this helped :)
Love,
JWB
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tiny-tigers · 6 months
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✨ Oh god that does make it more awkward yeh 😂🙈
I feel like the Ford's are kind of a boy family no? 😆 But I just think he would make the BEST girl dad 🥹🩷
I won't lie I understand the teeth thing as I remember how insecure I was before I got mine done! But yeh if it's the girl I think you're on about - not his cousin btw (just family friends) - yeh she's defo had a boob job. It's a weird one for me because I understand using make-up/clothes/hair styles to feel better about your self but personally, I could never go as far as using needles/surgery/fillers - it's just too extreme for me. [Having foreign objects put in your body & being put under anaesthesia for anything other than life saving surgery just makes me feel ill] but each to their own! 😅
I think that's a great observation of giraffe boy! What I also like is that he clearly wants to be the best, but he does so through purely focusing on himself? Twitter loves to say how much better Keenan is than Fred - does Fred hate on Hugo? no. Keenan himself said how lovely Fred was to him after the whole red card debacle.
I love people who are driven and ambitious but don't trip other people up to get to the top. He's willing to put in all that extra work and study to get to the top rather than cutting corners and cheating others to get there. I genuinely can't imagine just how immensely proud of him his parents must be. What a guy. All whilst getting a bloody degree in economics on the side. Jesus.
I also get what you mean about Jacky though 🥺 I'm not even a scrum half, let alone a rugby player, and I would love to study Antoine Dupont - just because of how truly brilliant he is. What a time to be alive to watch the likes of him play. So whether it's 'laziness' or just plain insecurity that's stopping Jack from doing that I don't know. But he's missing a trick for sure. Sad.
Awww bless you!! The most important thing is your health though - there will always be other games & other trips but your wellbeing is the most important thing 💖xxxx
Please tell me about one moment that haven't been awkward around that man for me...
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I have been his faithful dobby for less than a decade and I Feel exhausted... I know all I can know about him and Yet I am still surprised.
I think fordy gonna have a girlie princess but there is potential for twins in the family so... hopeful ! Addie account has been hacked btw...
Idk why I see her as cousin... yeah I know it is difficult for teeth as it is easily mocked and all but I like some flaws... (say the woman who horribly threw words at J appearance lately ) ... I am about To watch documentary about fillers actually...
As someone who recently had anesthesia and hospital stay I think you must hate yourself and your image a lot to take this path.
U know I cannot unsee the fact his best friend has a giant giraffe in his salon...
Yeah I see what you implies about only pointing on his own flaws and focusing on his strenght. I think he isn't a fool, he knows he is good. I think Jack is terrified to be average and be replaced by someone better like his father was and has faced A LOT More difficulties than Fred could ever think of or will ever face. The size he had to put on the barriers he had to climb because he wasn't supposed to do career he didn't played for premiership title he didnt played for rwc.... The injury well let's face it maybe he will never be the same player he was and Will always have a mental barrier to push into extreme now that he has been injured in such a stupid way.
All in all I think he never watched bigger competition than england pool not because he is a fool but because he thinks it is not even worth his time as he will never reach them? I could be wrong. I also think it is lucid because he will never....It is already too late. I know I might sound hard , he has qualities but he will never be more than average good I can assure you that now. He should have already learn quicker and he didn't step up when everyone was expecting him to so I think it isn't gonna happen. Unfortunately.
I have hope on captaincy later on tho because he has leadership.
I think I am very impatient to see the climb of Freddie because for now they still move him too much from fullback ... Now that he is free of his degree I want to see his new challenges and I think.... unfortunately he will need to move on from Leicester at one point because it is too cosy ? Idk if you see what I mean... I think he needs risk and challenges to be at his best.
For u :
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sneakydraws · 2 years
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hi!! if I'm not mistaken you can speak Polish (or you're Polish idk I don't want to assume I just remember you posted something about Krakow and...strajk kobiet (sorry idk how to say it in eng) I wanted to hear your opinion on polish voice actors in encanto!! I know a lot of folks doesn't like Mirabel's voice but imo it's okay, and yeah....just a silly question
No yeah ur right I am polish! i'm afraid i only watched the film in english though, sorry :P HOWEVER i DID obsessively listen to we dont talk about bruno in just about every language available, so as a humble substitute i can give you my thoughts on the polish version of the song
elephant in the room, this is like the only version that changes the word 'bruno' around to fit with the grammar... i can't really blame them, polish is HARD and 'no, no, no' would not have worked so they had to change it to 'nie, nie, nie' but still... sounds jarring as hell lmao
Pepa and felix's part is good, i like their voices! I feel like almost every language gets pepa right haha probably cuz she's so dramatic
Lecz przyszedł on z tym uśmieszkiem jak gnom
But he arrived, with that smirk like a gnome
HELLO? LMFAO was there REALLY no better way to phrase that !!!! jkrgef
On powiedział: "Będzie lać" / I mózg aż mi się zaczął grzać
He said "It's gonna rain" / And my brain started heating up
There isn't that direct correlation between rain and her brain that most versions have, but still, it works nicely. The image of pepa's brain overheating with smoke coming out of her ears is absolutely fitting lmao
Ej, hola, mam parasola
I don't even know how to translate this lol it's like "Hey, hey, I have an umbrella" but the grammar is all wrong. Ew
They did my girl dolores DIRTYYYY her voice sounds really strained and the singer is clearly struggling to say all the words. Can't really blame them tho, her verse is the hardest shit in the world to translate well :') English has so many one or two syllable words...
Bałam się go od małego i do dziś dlatego / Nie potrafię się uwolnić od bełkotu tego
I was scared of him since childhood and that's why to this day / I can't free myself from that blabber
Implication that dolores is scared of bruno himself, as opposed to the original where she seems to fear his visions (stuttering or stumbling - signs of stress/seeing something bad? that's how i interpret it at least) - bad :( i'll elaborate on this in a future comic but i actually think dolores would find it very easy to empathise with bruno.
Głos mu szeleścił, jak szeleści suchy piach
His voice rustled, like the rustling of dry sand
I couldn't think of a better translation for "szelest" but it's an onomatopoeia for things like fabric, dry leaves, sheets of paper... basically anything dry and textured, such as sand! This is actually a bomb translation, it sounds great, it fits the whispery tone, and as much as i like the more common route of implying that sand keeps falling out of bruno's clothes (the russian version is a personal favourite) or that dolores simply hears the sandfall in his room, the idea that his voice itself is like sand is VERY atmospheric and i love it.
Był ten ciężki dar źródłem zmartwień jego / Miała go rodzina cała za wyklętego
This heavy gift was the source of his worries / The whole family thought him to be cursed/cast out
I never understand why they went with "wyklęty", which generally means "cast out, banished" rather than "przeklęty" which means "cursed"? These lines sound terrible, especially the way she drags out "za-a" but like i said, i can't blame the translators, it's a tall order...
(side note, i should shout out the grammatical wizardry the translators have to resort to in order to make these syllables/rhymes work... polish is a very flexible language in that regard (FUCK YOU FRENCH) so they can get away with moving the words around a lot! for example, if i were to translate word for word, this verse would read more like "Was this heavy gift the source of worries his / Thought him the family whole banished". in english this sounds like yoda speak, but in polish it's totally correct, if a little artsy!)
Camilo sounds a little too dramatic, could have used a bit more subtlety... But it's not bad I suppose.
Wysoki jak dąb, śliskim szczurom brat
Tall as an oak, brother to slippery rats
As an ex-rat owner and rat lover i object to this slander, but other than that, solid translation! I like how seemingly no one except russia was willing to actually translate '7 feet' to meters ahaha
Jego głosu ton zaczerni ci świat
The tone of his voice will blacken your world
Terrible, it doesn't mean anything AND i always find it difficult to even hear the first three words. They could have looked for different concepts here, not every translation chose to directly reference the "fading to black" part!
Wywróżył mi mojej rybki nagły zgon!
He foretold me the sudden death of my fish!
I respect any translation that doesn't keep the weird structure of the original, with the final word being an entire sentence. Aside from that, I find myself appreciating the choice of the word "wywróżyć", which has a very cool, magical vibe!
Wywróżył mi wielki brzuch i jestem jak słoń!
He foretold me a gigantic belly and I am like an elephant
No comment
Wywróżył mi, że wyłysieję, skąd to wiedział, no skąd?
He foretold me I'd go bald, how did he know it, I ask you, how?
Loose translation of that final sentence, but I think it gets across the vibe of it - I really like how it sells both the priest's desperation and the fear and confusion the townspeople feel toward bruno's visions. Like, he should KNOW how bruno knew he'd go bald, it's his gift to see the future, duh, but despite that knowledge he can't help but suspect that bruno somehow caused it. Speaking of which...
Ratunku nie ma, gdy coś przepowie on!
There is no rescue, once he foretells something!
This is actually deadass my favourite version of this lyric! Firstly, the grammatical subject is HE, bruno, not his prophecy or your fate - this shows how the villagers are pinning the blame on HIM and not just the concept of the future or even his gift. Secondly, this point is emphasised even further because the word "he" ("on") falls on the accented last syllable. Lastly, this is present to some extent in most languages, but it preserves that lovely ambiguity as to whether his prophecies simply SEE the future or somehow CAUSE it. side note, for a while, relying on my broken ass french, i thought the italian version went hard on that second interpretation... that would have been so cool rip
I really like isabela's voice! And since anon asked about mirabel (though i assume the singing voice is a different person than the speaking voice?) i did think it was very faithful with regards to the original!
On mi mówił, że moc, którą mam / Wzrośnie tak jak drzew rosną pnie
He told me the power I have / Would grow as tree trunks grow
I saw someone point out that the original line specifically avoids the mention of flowers, and I like that it's preserved here!
Mariano idzie, ciszej bądź
Mariano's coming, quiet down
Why is abuela telling them to shut the fuck up TT0TT it is kinda funny ngl
On mi mówił że z tym o kim śnię / Nie mam szans związać się, / Że weźmie go inna
He told me that with he whom I dream of / I have no chances of getting together / That another one will take him
This is one of the translations that for some reason explicitly have bruno's vision contradict reality? i mean you could argue that he only saw a glimpse (for example, mariano proposing to isabela) and misinterpreted it, but still. the original version is pretty careful to remain technically true, what with "betrothed to another"
Isabela, do ciebie ktoś
Isabela, someone's here to see you
AHAHA i love hearing this line in different versions, seeing the different flavours of camilo's sass. He's such a little shit here
Źle że wspomniałam o Brunie
It's bad I mentioned Bruno
And unfortunately we finish off really weakly with the last new line... rip. What a let down
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araminakilla · 2 years
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Mummy, Peru and hiding our problems from the world
The new movie Encanto opened my eyes to new points of view when analysing other franchises. Tad the Lost Explorer is no exception. So today the following analysis is about this particular conversation in the little boat.
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In that scene Sara is uncertain about her future with Tad and how (even if she doesn't say it directly) she is becoming more like her father.
Mummy of course helps her (it backfires but still) although the first thing he tells her is that "everything is going to be fine" while doing some mannerisms and a tone of voice that sounded rather dismisive of the problem, which I found very interesting.
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It's like Mummy want to avoid conflict, worries, problems and think about a positive outcome. It's like he tells himself on a daily basis that no matter how dark or difficult times are, everything is going to be fine at the end.
Except it isn't.
Maybe according to his way of thinking, his tragedy and subsequent death happened 500 years ago, so there's no point in holding onto that in the present, right?
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Well...
Not exactly. Not because a problem without a concrete resolution happened centuries ago means that it's not valid. Mummy's problems are as valid as the first time they came to be. But maybe he doesn't realised that.
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After all, he went from "I was banished from my city and I'm basically homeless" to "Yay! Awesome roadtrip :D" in less than a minute. Like he doesn't want for his only human friends to find about what's really bothering him.
We know he isn't always being a clown, he has his serious moments (which I hope we see more of them in the third film) but maybe... juuust maybe, he thinks his opinions and problems doesn't matter. Not when there's Tad and his love problem or how they have to save the world. Inti forbids for another character to have personal problems in this sequel!
Anyway, what does this had to do with Encanto? The following image will explain it:
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A very Latino thing to do. Yeah, it's more like a global problem in reality, but especially common in the Latino community and we have to remember that this Mummy is a peruvian mummy.
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Peru, a country that has to deal with so many problems similar to Colombia and still has a wide smile in its bicolor face. Peru, a nice place to everyone around the world even if sometimes we feel we are failing as an estable country.
We laugh and make parties and amazing music and food, but there is also a saying prevalent that I heard many times in my life.
"If you don't suffer a lot (and we mean A LOT) in life, you are not peruvian"
With this saying alone you can guess how are thing for us always. Yeah, we could be in th worst time of our life be because of politicts, poverty or natural disasters but we always have our arms open for tourists who want to visit our wonderful "exotic" land with a smile in our faces because that's life for us, that's our "pan de cada día" This is the way.
So I'm not surprised if our dear peruvian Mummy turns out to hide his pain behind a smile and a clown attitude all this time while dismissing his personal problems.
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After all, it's what we do. It's what we have been taugh to do and our descendants will do as well.
Peru is a nice country where you can have a great time. That's our role imposed in the Latinoamerican community and one we try to maintain at any costs. We suffer but we don't talk about it with others outside the country (in fact I'm kind of guilty when writing this post)
Because sadness doesn't attract tourists. Trauma doesn't give us money as a country. It's not commercial.
(Unless you count charity)
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Some people travel to Peru to forget about their personal problems and have a great time taking pictures and meeting charismatic people. Many of those who come here couldn't care less about our problems and it's very possible that we could scare some of them away and they would tell their friends "Don't come to that Latino country, it has issues"
It's because of those cultural factors regarding how we handle trauma that I'm very convinced as to why Mummy in the sequel seems to be happy and have a go-lucky clown-like attitude all the time even if he faced forced displacement, native american genocide, CULTURE ERRADICATION, DEATH AND LOSS OF HUMANITY.
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YEAH THIS MUMMY HAS SUFFERED ENOUGH GIVE HIM HIS HAPPY ENDING AND THE RESPECT HE DESERVES YOU COWARDS.
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paraemu · 3 years
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From Toei Hero MAX 57
Parad and Poppy were the main characters in the second part of the trilogy, which was the most flexible in terms of content. Kai and Matsuda's bugster team looks back on their activities in V-Cinema, which were in a sense the same as usual, or even more outrageous than usual!
A different kind of competition realized in a compilation trilogy
本作「仮面ライダーパラドクスwithポッピー」はタイトル通り、お二人が主役。初の大役を務められていかがでした?
Interviewer: As the title suggests, the two of you play the main roles in this film, "Kamen Rider ParaDX with Poppy". How was it for you to play your first major role?
僕の意識としては、ただパラドを演じただけなので、特別感は特にないんですよね。なんというか、これまで通り「エグゼイド」という作品で演じていたら、結果的にパラドが真ん中にいたって感じ。主役の自分がなんとかしなきや、みたいな気持ちもまったくなかったですからね。
Kai: As far as I'm concerned, I just played Parad, so I don't really have any special feeling. I was just playing the role of "Ex-Aid" as I always have, and as a result, Parad was right in the middle. I didn't feel like I had to do anything as the main character at all.
そうだよね。ずっとポッピーとパラドとして生活していたら、たまたまカメラがこっちを向いてて、いつのまにか作品になってた。感覚としてはそういう感じに近いような気がします(笑)。
Matsuda: That's right. We've been living as Poppy and Parad for a long time, and the camera just happened to be looking at me, and before I knew it, I was making art. I think that's how I feel about it (laughs).
申斐さんは、本作で新たに登場するブラックパラドとの一人ニ役にも挑戦されています。
Interviewer: Kai-san is also taking on the challenge of playing two roles with Black Parad, a new character in this work.
クランクインの当日とかはけっこう大変だった記憶がありますね。同じカットに2人とも映るシーンは、まずパラドで撮って、そのままカメラを固定して、ブラーックパラドに着替えてから、今度は反対側に立って…..というのをやらなきゃいけなくて。たぶん、あの日だけで4回ぐらいは入れかわったんじゃないかな。
Kai: I remember it was quite difficult on the day of the crank-in. For the scene where both of us are in the same shot, we had to shoot in Parad, hold the camera in place, change into Black Parad, and then stand on the other side of the screen and shoot... I had to do this. I think we probably switched around four times that day alone.
ブラックパラドは見た目がほとんど変わらないから難しそうだよね。ポッピーと明日那の場合は、見た目も声も喋る言葉尻も全然違うから、同じこと言ってても別人に見えるけど。
Matsuda: Black Parad is going to be difficult because he looks almost the same. In the case of Poppy and Asuna, they look, sound and speak very differently, so they look like different people even though they say the same things.
それはそうかも。演技だけでまったく違うキャラの人物に見せるというのがいかに難しいかは、今回初めて実感したかな。飛彩(瀬戸利樹)が劇場版 (「仮面ライダー×スーパー戦隊超スーパーヒーロー大戦」) で二役をやってた一ときも「大変そうだなぁ」と思って見てはいたけど (笑)。
Kai: That may be true. I think this is the first time I realized how difficult it is to make a character look completely different just by acting. When Seto Toshiki was playing two roles in the movie version ("Kamen Rider x Super Sentai: Chou Super Hero Taisen"), I thought "That looks like a lot of work." (laughs).
衣裳チェンジという部分では、"ポッピーの七変化" も本作の見どころのひとつですよね?
Interviewer: In terms of costume changes, the "seven changes of Poppy" is one of the highlights of the film, isn't it?
みなさんにそう言っていただくんですけど、私自身はこの1年半ずっとコスプレをしてきたようなものなので、コスプレをするってことに対する特別感がわりと携れちゃっていて.....。ちょっとバグってます (笑)。
Matsuda: That's what everyone tells me, but I've been cosplaying for the past year and a half, so my sense of specialness about cosplaying is rather gone... It's a little buggy (laughs).
もはやあれが私服と。
Kai: That's no longer what I call casual wear.
そうだね。ウェディングドレスも……おめでたい私服 (笑)。
Matsuda: That's right. The wedding dress is also... an outfit for special occasions (lol).
ヲタ芸もやってたよね?
Kai: You also did some wotagei, right?
やったねえ。鈴村監督から、着替えるたびに「ひと言なんか言って、なんかやって」って言われて、全部アドリブでやったんですけど、そのひとつがヲタ芸で (笑)。最初は「アイドルっぼいことを」ってオーダーだったんだけど、なんか違うことをしたかったから、監督と相談して「アイドルカルチャーとはこういうものだって勝手に勘違いしてるポッピー」という設定でやったんです。でも、ちょっと激しくやりすぎて、今回の「トリロジー」に携わってないスタッフさんのなかには別人がやってると思った人もいたみたいですけどね。
Matsuda: I did. Director Suzumura asked me to "say something, do something" every time I changed clothes, so I improvised everything, and one of the things I did was wotagei (laughs). At first the order was to do something idol-like, but we wanted to do something different, so we talked with the director and decided to do it as "Poppy, who mistakenly believes that this is what idol culture is all about". But it was a bit too intense, and some of the staff who weren't involved in the "Trilogy" seemed to think that someone else was doing it.
さすがにヲタ芸にまで吹き替えは使わないよね(笑)。アクションじゃないんだから。ってか、途中で「松田るか」も出てきてなかった?観てて「あれっ?ポッピー?」って思ったよ。
Kai: You're right, they don't use dubbing even for wotagei (laughs). It's not an action movie. I mean, didn't "Matsuda Ruka" appear in the middle of the movie? When I was watching it, I was like "Huh? Where's Poppy?"
出てたね。あそこは思わず素が出ちゃって....(笑)。
Matsuda: You were in it. I couldn't help but show my true colors there.... (laughs).
明かされる衝撃の真実そのとき演者たちは?
The Shocking Truth Revealed: What Will Happen to the Actors?
一方、今回のトリロジーではこれまで語られたことのなかった新たな過去も明かされます。
Interviewer: On the other hand, this trilogy will also reveal a new past that has never been told before.
ブラックパラドが何者か?というのもそうだし、ポッピーの一宿主である櫻子さんが顔出しするのも今回が初めてだよね。
Kai: Who is Black Parad? This is also the first time that Sakurako-san, Poppy's host, shows her face.
これがすごくキレイな人でね。なんでこの人はクロノス(=檀正宗)みたいな人と結婚したんだろう、と改めて疑問に思いましたよ、私は。
Matsuda: She was a very beautiful woman. I wondered again why she married someone like Dan Masamune.
美人で俺もビックリした。こんな人からどうしたら黎斗ができるんだって。
Kai: She was so beautiful that I was surprised too. I wondered how such a person could give birth to Kuroto.
いや、クロノスと結婚したら黎斗は産まれちゃうよ (笑)。まあ、あったんでしょうね。きっとお父さんにもいいところが。
Matsuda: No, if you marry Cronus, Kuroto will be born (laughs). Well, there must've been a reason. I'm sure the father had his good points.
もとをただせば、正宗と櫻子さんが結婚したことが「エグゼイド」のすべての始まりだったということなんだよね。
Kai: To put it simply, Masamune and Sakurako's marriage was the beginning of all of "Ex-Aid."
どこに惚れたのかっていう最大の謎は、トリロジーでも結局謎のままだけど (笑)。
Matsuda: The biggest mystery of what made her fall in love with him remains a mystery even in the trilogy (laughs).
テレビシリーズでもあとから明かされた“新事実、はいくつかありましたが、演じる側としてはやはり戸惑いもありますか?
Interviewer: In the TV series, there were some new facts that were revealed later, but as a performer, did you feel confused?
ありますね。パラドに関して言えば、「最終的に人間の味方につく」という設定は、正直あとから知ったんで、「えっ?どうしよ!」とはなりました。最初のほうの取材とかでは、普通に「悪役のまま終わりたい」って答えてたぐらい、僕自身は悪役をまっとうするつもりでいましたから。
Kai: Yes, I did. To be honest, I didn't know Parad would end up on the side of the humans until later, so I thought "What? What should I do?". In the first interview, I said that I wanted to end up as a villain, and I was planning to play a villain until the end.
私も本編のほうで「私、黎斗の母親だったんだ!」って知ったときは衝撃だったな。あれを最初から知っていれば、たぶん接し方も変わってたはずなので、「教えといてよー」と思ったもん。
Matsuda: I was also shocked when I found out in the show that I was Kuroto's mother! If I had known that from the beginning, I probably would have treated him differently, so I thought, "Why didn't you tell me?"
でも、きっとそれがいいんだよね。知らずにいることでいつのまにか役作りをさせられてる。僕が人間側につくのを知ってたら、グラファイトとの距離感とかも絶対ヘンになってたと思うもん。急にそういう台本を渡されて、自分の感情が追いつかなくなるというのがパラドにとっても逆によかった。リアルに窮地に立たされてる感じがさ。
Kai: But I'm sure it's for the best. By being unaware of it, I'm somehow forced to create the role. If I had known that I was going to be on the human side, the distance between me and Graphite would have been weird for sure. It was good for Parad that he was suddenly given such a script and that his emotions couldn't keep up. He felt like he was in a real predicament.
東映さんの作品はそういうところがあるみたいだもんね (笑)。『シンケンジャー』のときも、松坂桃李さん自身は「実は影武者」という設定をギリギリまで知らされてなかったんだって。演じるほうとしては最初から言っててほしいけど、そのあたりが難しさであり、面白さでもあるのかなって。
Matsuda: That seems to be the case with Toei's films (laughs). For "Shinkenger," Tori Matsuzaka himself wasn't told that he was actually a shadow warrior until the very last minute. As a performer, I wish I would have been told from the beginning, but I think that's both the difficulty and the fun of it.
そうだね。パラドが永夢に感染したバクスターだというのも最初は僕だけが知ってて、飯島くん本人は実際教えてもらってなかったし……。永夢の瞳が赤くなったときは絶対パラドが近くにいるとか、そういう匂わせはたくさんあったけど。
Kai: That's right. At first, I was the only one who knew that Parad was the Bugster who infected Emu, and Iijima-kun himself wasn't told about it. There were a lot of hints that Parad was definitely nearby when Emu's eyes turned red.
うんうん。だから「エグゼイド」も2ラウンド目が面白いんだよね。いろいろわかったうえで観ると、「そういうことか!」ってさらに楽しめるし。
Matsuda: Yeah, yeah. That's why the second half of "Ex-Aid" is so interesting, isn't it? If you watch it after you understand everything, you can enjoy it even more.
信頼しあえる関係性
A relationship of mutual trust
トリロジー全作を手がける鈴村監督の現場はどうでした?
Interviewer: How was it working with director Suzumura, who is working on the entire trilogy?
かなり自由にやらせてもら雰囲気でやれたかなってえましたね。 監督自身がすごく柔らかくて器の大きい方だから、周りも切羽詰まったりせずに、いい雰囲気でやれたかなって。
Kai: The director himself is very soft and big-hearted, so the people around him didn't feel pressured, and we were able to do it in a good atmosphere.
うん。よくご飯にも誘ってくれたしね。監督がそうやって気さくに接してくれるからこそ、距離感もほどよく縮まって、現場でも「コレ、こうしたいんです」って気負わずに言える空気感ができてた感じ。私のなかではすっかり焼酎ばかり飲んでる人というイメージだったりもしますけど (笑)。
Matsuda: Yeah. He often invited me out to dinner, too. Because the director was so open with me, we were able to close the distance between us, and I felt like I could say, "This is what I want to do," without feeling self-conscious. In my mind, he has the image of someone who drinks only shochu (laughs).
演出プランは当然、監督のなかにもあるはずなのに、芝居をつけてる段階で僕らが別のアイデアを出すと、決まって「じゃあ、そうしようよ」って言ってくれる。そうやって積極的に採用してもらえたら、こっちも一生懸命考えようって気持ちになるし、それはすごくよかったなって思います。自分の発想力みたいなものも否応なしに鍛えられましたしね。
Kai: Naturally, the director has a plan for the direction of the film, but when we came up with a different idea during the play, he would always say, "Well, let's do that". I think it's great that the director is willing to adopt our ideas, because it encourages us to think harder. I think that was really good. I was also able to develop my ability to think out of the box.
しかも、周りにはずっと一緒に走ってこられた同世代の役者陣。もはや鬼に金棒ですね。
Interviewer: In addition, he was surrounded by actors of the same generation who had been running together for a long time. It's like the devil's advocate.
みんな、ホントに仲よかったよね。人数が多いと自然とグルーブに分かれたりもしがちですけど、「エグゼイド」に関してはそういうこともまったくなくて。
Matsuda: We all get along really well. When there are a lot of people in a group, it tends to naturally divide into different groups, but that didn't happen at all with "Ex-Aid".
うん。個人的にも、みんなで笑い合えて、楽しく仕事ができる現場が一番いい。そういう意味でも、オンとオフのメリハリがつけられるメンバーばかりだったのはよかったなって。
Kai: Yeah. Personally, I think it's best to work in a place where everyone can laugh together and have fun. In that sense, I'm glad that all the members were able to have a good balance between on and off work.
お二人の信頼関係は?
Interviewer: How is the relationship of trust between the two of you?
バッチリですよ。私が右なら、彼は左に行くので (笑)。
Matsuda: It's perfect. If I go right, he goes left (laughs).
そうかな?でも、確かに違うことをしたがるかも。同じ方向向いてって言われても、素直にできないし (笑)。というか、そっちも "おしゃべりクソマシンガン" って言われてたじゃん。
Kai: Is that so? But I think we may want to do different things. Even if you ask me to look in the same direction, I can't do it honestly (laughs). I mean, you've been called a "shitty talking machine gun" too.
"クソ" じゃないよ、"サブ" だよ (笑)。なんだろ?私がバーッとひとしきり喋って、横から彼一がポロッと鋭いことを言うみたいな、そういう流れは現場でもありましたね。
Matsuda: It's not "shitty", it's "sub." (laughs) What is it? There were times when I would talk a lot, and then he would say something sharp from the side.
でも、おかしいことは言ってなかったでしょ?ちゃんと事実を言ってただけで。
Kai: But I didn't say anything funny, did I? I was just telling the truth.
大人はみんな知らんぶりして目を課るようなことをあえて言うんですよ、彼は。
Matsuda: He dares to say things that all adults pretend not to know and avert their eyes on.
そういうのすごい嫌いなの。日本人はなんですぐ "付度" するのかなって思っちゃう。あんな言葉、英語にはないからね?
Kai: I really dislike that kind of thing. I wonder why Japanese people are so quick to use "tsukedo". There is no such word in English, right?
はいはい (笑)。
Matsuda: Yes, yes (laughs).
では、お二人の関係性が十分伝わったところで、これから作品を観る読者にメッセージを。
Interviewer: Now that we have a good sense of the relationship between the two of you, do you have a message for the readers who will be watching the film?
夕陽に照らされたパラドクスとポッピーのポスタービジュアルを鵜呑みにすると痛い目を見ますってことは言っておきたいかな。
Matsuda: I guess I'd like to say that if you believe the poster visual of Parad and Poppy in the evening sun, you're in for a world of hurt.
あれはちょっと、謎のタイタニック感があるからね。
Kai: That one has a bit of a mysterious Titanic feel to it.
二人が出るってことしか合ってない (笑)。ただ、「ブレイブ&スナイプ」も「ゲンムVSレーザー」もわりと重いし、「パラドクスwithポッピー」は箸休め回だと思って身構えずに観てほしいな、とは思うよね。
Matsuda: The only thing that fits is that the two of them are in it (laughs). However, both "Brave and Snipe" and "Genm vs. Lazer" are rather heavy, so I hope people will think of "ParaDX with Poppy" as a chopstick rest and watch it without getting defensive.
そうだね。3部作だと1本目は掴んで3本目は落とさなきゃいけないけど、それがない2本目は何でもできる。そういう自由度の高さはよかったよね。
Kai: Yes, in a trilogy, you have to grab the first one and drop the third one, but in the second one you can do anything. It was nice to have that kind of freedom, wasn't it?
監督のフェティシズムも一番詰まってる作品だしね (笑)。
Matsuda: It's also the film that contains the most of the director's fetishism (laughs).
ちなみに、パラドとポッピーを演じてきて、ー番「心が躍るな」と思った瞬間は?
Interviewer: By the way, what was the most "exciting" moment for you while playing Parad and Poppy?
うーん。たくさんありすぎてひとつには紋れないですね。今回で言えば、ポッピーじゃなく「松田るか」として主題歌を唄わせてもらえたのは「躍った」かな。
Matsuda: Hmmm. There are so many that I can't pick just one. In this case, I was able to sing the theme song not as Poppy, but as Matsuda Ruka, and I think that made me "jump".
僕は初めてナパームを見たときかな。あの大爆発には童心が騒ぎましたね。あと、これは余談ですけど、僕、クランクアップのときに現場に放置されたんです。
Kai: I think it was the first time I saw napalm. That huge explosion made me feel like a child. Also, this is an aside, but I was left unattended at the scene when the filming had wrapped up.
置いてかれてた (笑)。
Matsuda: You were left behind (laughs).
花束をもらって、せっかくだからって自撮りをしていて、「よし帰ろう」と外に出たらロケバスがもう出ていて…..。1年半を演じ終えた役者に対する「心震える」仕打ちとして、このことはぜひとも太字にして語り継がれてほしいと思います (笑)。
Kai: I got a bouquet of flowers and was taking selfies for the occasion, and when I went outside to go home, the location bus had already left... I hope this will be bolded and passed down as a "heart-breaking" treatment to the actors after a year and a half of acting (laughs).From Toei Hero MAX 57
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slashingdisneypasta · 3 years
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Sylvester the Cat x Toon!Reader || Drabble
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Plot: I'm just experimenting with the Looney Tune idea so possibly enjoy some cute Sylvester Jr wanting you to be his new other parent.
Warnings: Toon violence?
You're just tying up the ends of Wile E's bandages into a tight little knot, prompting a wince from the coyote and a little board sign saying 'Ouch!'. Immediately you wince, stepping back. "Ohh... sorry, Wile E... I'm not exactly certified... " Daffy made you do this job, seeing as you're worse at sports then any of them- and that's saying something.
His head falls forward slightly and his ears wilt as you step back.
"Okay! Who's nex- " Turning around - picking up some more bandages and band aids in one fist, and an industrial sized tube of Acme branded antiseptic cream tucked under your other arm, - you look about for your next patient.
- And droop as soon as you see what kind if work load is waiting for you. It looks like every toon you know is lined up for medical attention!
The bandages and band aids slip out of your hands and scatter across the floor. "Oh boy." Quickly taking a deep breath to refresh yourself, you perk right up in order to get to it. Okay! "Sly! You're first, what's wro- Uh, hah. Nevermind."
Looking at him... maybe you don't have to ask...
Tweety flies through the giant gaping hole in Sylvester's tummy and the cat gives great sigh, slumping forward. "Why are the only times he's in there are when he can get out!!"
"I know, I know, woe is you. Sit down." You have no time for sympathies right now, you can allocate Sly only 2 minutes- and that's because you like him. The other patients coming get only one. "Okay, Sly!... um... " Oh brother you're stuck. Why do you do with an ailment like this?? Sylvester patiently sits, waiting for you to finish as you set your paws on your hips with a huff... wondering where exactly to go from here. Hm. "Do you maybe... know where your insides... are? Like, presently?"
"Uhh, they were... disintegrated... "
You two share a concerned look. "Maybe... spackle?- "
Just as Sylvester is gulping down his fear at your crazy suggestion, a certain black and white kitten comes speeding out of the crowd at the two of you. "FATHER!" Sylvester Junior stops at his fathers side, eyes wide with worry. "Father! Is he okay, Y/N??"
As you start rifling through your medical kit for something actually useful, you waive a dismissive paw at the kitten. "Oh, don't worry SJ. Your dad has recovered from worse- you know that."
Oh- that gives you an idea! It may not be strictly medical... or orthodox in the least, but its worth a try! Come on- you guys are toons. Straightening up, you look to the court; Searching for the little yellow speck you know is flying around somewhere.
Sylvester Jr nods slowly, pouting. His eyes are big, and round, and adorably full of worry. "Do you think I can sit on his lap safely, Y/N?"
Oh he's just the cutest. You turn back to your patient and raise your brows at him. "Can he?"
Sly perks up at the chance to get some much needed affection - rather then shameful berating, - from his rugrat. "Of course he can- come on, son- oww... " Unfortunately Sylvester Junior throws caution to the wind, and launches his little body at his father- almost going all the way through and causing you to seriously wince, but luckily Sylvester has a good grip on him and sets him in his lap rather then inside the cavern that was his belly. "Aghhh... thanks, son... I feel a lot better now... oof!- "
Sylvester Junior has thrown his arms around his father, and your heart leaps at the adorable scene...
Except- you wouldn't have, if you had heard what was really going on in that hug.
Sylvester's eyes widen and he deadpans at his son, hearing the words that come out in a rushed, hoarse whisper as soon as the hug he thought was genuine closes around his neck. Of course... this is his son, after all...
"How am I doing, Father?? Is Y/N looking?? I've been told that other cats become more inclined to date a cat who's good with children!, and since you're hopeless at that, I've elected myself, your darling baby son, to help you! So, are they looking father??"
"Junior!"
"Yes father???"
"I do not need your help to woo anyone, and I'm working on Y/N... " Sly tries to assure Jr, not sounding totally sure as his eyes fall downcast. "Its, uh, just a slow process, is all... " After a moment, he proudly lifts his chin, and he would puff out his chest, if... you know.. it was there... "I got your mother on my own, didn't I??"
Sylvester's proud moment is cut off quickly as his son pulls away from him to give a very deadpanned, sassy expression at the mention of his absentee mother cat. "And where is she, may I ask, father??"
A loud 'Aha!' comes from you a few feet away as you jump up, and grab something right out of the air.
Deeply rolling his eyes, irritation flickering inside him at the antics of his son, Sylvester Sr plonks him down on the bench beside him, angrily crossing his arms. Jr follows suit, looking like an exact replica of his father... except, smaller.
Blinking blankly around to see the two, with Tweety now wriggling around in your paws, you giggle at the sight. "What happened to you two? You were having such a heart warming father-son moment a second ago!"
"I'm full of shame, Y/N. Oh woe... "Sylvester Jr sighs, shaking his head as Sr turns his head slowly to look at him. "How am I to face my friends at the playground... My father- a loser!"
Sylvester pointedly looks away, angry eyes pointing towards the court. "My son... a spoiled brat. How am I ever to show my face in society, again?" An even heavier sigh comes out of Sylvester Jr at that remark, and Sylvester Sr immediately jumps up from the bench, pointing a stern finger at his son. "Oh no ya don't- Don't you dare get out that bag!!"
"But Father! I'm full of shame!" Sylvester Jr whines, holding the paper bag in his lap as you watch the two in wonderment. How they can bicker like this, and still have such an adorable, open relationship you have no clue - some kids are too scared to talk back to their fathers, - but the state of these two's relationship is truly, really endearing to you.
Oh how you love Sly... You catch yourself swooning at the thought of him, and immediately stop yourself. Stop it, Y/N! This is not the time for that. Taking a deep breath, you shake yourself. Okay, back to the task at hand.
Meanwhile, Sylvester snatches the paper bag away from Jr. "Oh, cut that out, wouldja?!"
While there's a pause in the argument, you jump and take your chance to hold up Tweety in front of Sylvester's face- his pupils shrinking at the sight and his teeth growing sharper, somehow.
"Oh no oh no- You mean old puddy tads- using me like this!" Tweety exclaims, wings pressed firmly to your paws and pushing, struggling to wiggle up and out of your tight grip. Yeah yeah, you think. Tell it to the choir.
Hopefully when I let Tweety go, Sly will give chase... and be all better!
Heh... isn't that how it works? It is, right? He'll 'perk right up'! you could say.
"Alright... here goes nothing!" You squeak, closing your eyes and letting Tweety go, hoping to god that Sylvester doesn't trample you in his endeavour to snatch his favourite little yellow bird.
Feeling a wind blow against you side and ruffling your fur as Sylvester springs to action, you slowly crack your eyes open again- first seeing Sylvester Jr as he still sits on the bench in front of you swinging his legs over the side of the bench, before peaking over your shoulder, and... "Yes!" You cry out as soon as your keen feline eyes catch sight of Sylvester looking good as new again on the court, chasing Tweety through the still-roaring basketball game. Clasping your hands together, your tail wiggles excitedly behind your back. "It worked!"
"What?" Sylvester hears your cheering and immediately halts in his tracks, looking at you then down at himself- a big, toothy smile spreading across his face when he see's he's all better. "Y/N! You did it! Thanks!"
"Of course!" You call back, then point at the scoreboard and wink. "Now kick those Monstar's butts for me!"
The green Monstar turns a squinty looking evil eye on you at hearing your words but you don't care- you're far too busy burning the image of Sly giving you a thumbs up into your mind.
"Heheh, no problem... " That trademark evil grin slips across Sly's face again as he rubs his paws together, turning his attention back to the game as you sigh, paws on your hips; Happy with your job well done.
"Uh, hello??" Someone speaks up from behind you, and you jump, suddenly remembering the mile long line of toons that still need medical attention.
Ohhh... great. You slowly turn around, seeing Elmer giving you angry eyes and quickly look extremely apologetic, paws awkwardly behind your back and spine as straight as a plank. Oops!
You might seem help... you think you tilting your head to see the rest of the long... long, l o n g line. "Uhh... SJ? You wanna help me play nurse, maybe?"
"Oh, yes Y/N!" He exclaims enthusiastically, hopping off the bench and taking up your medical kit in his short little arms- which is way too big for him. You giggle and take it from the kitten, patting his head. "I'll be happy to be your assistant!"
Fist bumping each other, you wink. "That's the kinda attitude I like to see! Lets go."
~
A couple hours and countless injuries later and the game is coming to a nail chewing close. Truly, this is a new level of anxiety you're feeling as you leave Sylvester Junior, now exhausted and up past his bedtime, curled in Granny's lap with a blanket strewn over him. Then you sit back down to watch the game beside a very injured Sly, as Witch Hazel defibrillates Taz.
If Michael doesn't make this shot - with but seven seconds to go, - he has to move to Moron Mountain in your place. You all dragged him here for help and now h's the one with everything on the line.
You cant help but feel a massive load of guilt.
"Oh I cant watch!" You squeak suddenly amongst the thunderous sounds of the audience at 4 seconds, and cover your eyes. "Tell me when its over!"
.
.
.
3 seconds later, the buzzer screeches and you hear the toons around you cheering, and peak out nervously from beyond your paws. ... What happened?
Your gaze flickers to the score board.
Oh my god. A deep, relieved breath comes out of you. "We won!?"
"We won!" Sylvester concurs, jumping up from the bench and throwing a fist into the air. Then he puts his paws on your arms and beams down at you. "We're not gonna be slaves!!"
You wonder what you could say in response, but the one thing your body is telling to you to do is throw your arms around him- so you do. And he doesn't think twice before squeezing you back, picking you up and swinging you around.
Then the world comes crashing down around Sly, as his son opens his eyes to see the scene- and gasps. The kitten sits up quickly in Granny's lap and points. "Oh, father! You did it! I knew you could do it!"
Immediately Sylvester puts you down, his paws retreating from you and a definite sense of nervousness - and maybe embarrassment? - settles over him. You raise your brows, confused, but still swimming in the joy of the game being won and just tilt your head as you confusedly smile. "What did he do??"
Sly Jr doesn't even think a second before gleefully elaborating- despite his father very nearly shaking his soul free waving his hands at him in a doomed endeavour to shut his son up. "No- stop, Junior!- "
"Asked you out! Didn't he?" As the wide eyed bewilderment on your face and the utter horror on Sylvester's dawns on Jr, his shoulders drop and he turns disappointedly at his dad. "Didn't you?"
"No!"
"Oh, father!- "
Sylvester Sr's tail, shoulders, and head slump forward as he turns his kitten around so he faces away from the two of you, embarrassment replaced by exasperation. "You're tired, son. Go to sleep. Night night, sleep tight, sweet dreams, don't let the bed bugs bite and we'll talk in the morning." Then he slowly, meekly turns back to you.
And you're practically glowing. "Sly... what's he talking about?"
"Father likes you!- " Sylvester Jr tries to speak up again, turning his head but Sr twists his head carefully back, a reprimanding tone in his voice.
"Sleep! Hah hah... " Sylvester (Sr) turns back to you, arms held carefully behind his back as he chuckles nervously. "My son is... troubled... a little- "He point at his head and swirls his finger; A gesture reading 'Loopy'. As soon as the meaning behind that word and his gesture occurs to you, you visibly droop. Oh. Okay... I guess SJ was just messing with us... Sly watches this reaction, and his ears perk up quickly; Sensing some dissappintment. "I mean, uh... unless you liked the i-idea?"
You peak up at him again from the floor, seeing his face slowly going red. "... D-do you?"
"Wha- I asked first! You answer the question."
"Hey." Setting your fists to your hips, you look stubbornly at him. "You were just taking it all back! So you tell the truth. Which is it??"
"Yeah- but I asked the question first!"
"Sylvester James Pussycat Senior!"
"Pfft... if you think pulling full name on me is going to change anything... " He rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. "You've got another thing comin'!"
Your eyes narrow, and so do his, before suddenly Taz jumps up from the bench he was resting on and ZOOMS past Sly so fast and so hazardously, that he's caught off guard and jumps forward with a yelp- accidentally knocking you.
"Oh!-"
"H-hold on, I got ya!!" Sylvester's eyes widen to the size of dinner plates and he grabs you just before gravity manages to drag you down to the ground; Pulling you back up to your feet- which just so happens to bring you two extremely close together.
Two sets of eyes widen and faces go red.
Everything seems to go a little quieter around you, the deafening sounds of the auditorium seeming to get plunged under water as the crazy all just slows down for just a moment. Enough for you to enjoy the few seconds you foreseeably get before he jumps back like someone sprayed him.
But to your surprise, he doesn't move. Just stands there and looks shocked... but does not move even an inch away from you. Doesn't even let go of you.
Finally, after a few good moments, you sigh and give in. "... Sly, would you like to go out sometime with me?"
"Ah... " His ears flatten against his head as he looks bashful, with a cute little smile that makes your stomach do backflips as he curls his tail around yours. "Yes, I'd like that very much."
You lean up and give him a feather light kiss on the cheeks- and he goes even redder.
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Witcher of the Night (Chapter 24)
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Chapter 23.2
WOTN MASTERLIST
Summary: The night of the feast could be a journey's end, or so we thought.
Warnings: Blood. Slight family dynamic? Curse words. Derogatory words. Geralt being so feisty? Limbs being cut off? Those kind of gore. 😢 Hehe. Mention of Asgard. LMAO.
Words: 7k+
A/N: WELCOME BACK TO ME. HELLO, BB'S! YES, TIS' I! I'll be posting the next chapters in Tumblr too for our Tumblr peeps! If ya' aren't in Wattpad, you might be missing out on my chapters! Heehee! Also, I'm sorry, life has been in the way. Especially research papers that gives me burnouts.
Disclaimer: PNG's and pictures used in edits are not mine even the GIF's too. (Credits to the rightful owners of the gifs) However, the edits and this fanfic is definitely from moi. Character development and personalities are based from my understanding and how I want them to be. This has no connection towards the books, games or show. (Well, somewhat) Though, sometimes Geralt's personalities can be found on either of the sources. But, still. This isn't liable to be a copy of one Geralt of Rivia's character to another because I base this from how I want him to be.
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The day of the feast is the day of your death.
It was what you've perceived when you wore the dress they've arranged for the night assembled in the great hall of the castle. You've gussied up till your heart's content, wearing make-up given to you by Eanraig and his lover's basket full of women's essentials. As pretty as a princess that Cynthia has advised.
The defeatist part of your brain thinking that this was your end---the night where you would suddenly wake up in your bed, rousing from your illusions on creating love and a caring family that you have wished for back in earth and in the fullness of time, molding a small family for yourself as well with the growing child inside of you.
She was growing. You knew that Eanraig's honesty was really not a lie at all after seeing yourself in a full body mirror, stripped out of your servant's clothes prior to the morning demands before the feast. What stood before you was a woman who had a two month moon-belly. When the druid said that your pregnancy will be thrice as much rather than a normal gravidity, he wasn't joking. Though, your stomach isn't that obvious under the dress unless you were going to be disrobed from the clothing. It looked bloated, like something was in there. Too much divulgence of food or a baby---the image tells that someone or something was living inside.
In the midst of staring out of nowhere, you seated all alone with a glum frown etched on your dolled up face. Scrumptious looking food plated in the most rakish way as strangers sat in front, their barbarous laughter and prattles completely opposite of how you were acting in the middle of it all. Speechless, distressed and wistful from celebrating over a feast hosted by people who had done nothing but cast hate and animosity towards your family which included you.
Belerick was loudly munching on his smoked chicken, the gnome attending this so-called celebration feast for the royal family and for the blessing of the future king's assuage. When Belerick was present in a banquet like the king has held then expect his whole gang of Leprecauns to be actively with him.
His garrulous attempt of seeking answers over how downcast and drained you appeared to be regardless of the fake powders you've used on your face. The careworn expression adding up more of his worry and even for the slightly fading bruises along your back that couldn't be hidden by make-up.
"Last time I saw ye' you weren't lookin' like this! Who'd hurt ye'?!"
You were seated with the gnomes and a whole ton of nasty, tough looking strangers who had beer-belly in one long wooden table. Merek downed his cup of ale, loudly dropping the empty cup on the table with a 'thud' before blattering a comment. His attention now solely on you alone as he raked your outfit and beated body, "Yeah, right! Tell us, tell us! We'll hurt the lad!"
Belerick abruptly growled at the back of his throat, slovenly eating his chicken until no meat was left and only bones---thoroughly squeaky clean as if it would dazzle against the tall, chandelier lights. The Leprecaun spoke with his mouth full, chewing in the process.
"Was it the Witcha'?! He battered ye'?! The potato we would gladly worship, aye?! It gots not to be the bard because he's one feeble lad! Even his name sounds puny! A puny bard! Does he go with Jaskier or Dandelion?!"
Shaking your head, "You'll be beheaded if I did tell you," you meekly uttered, staring at the smoked mutton constantly being forked by the group of acquaintances you've somehow became familiar with back in Durriken's Inn.
Carac, who suddenly seemed to be shy based on his blushing ears and cheeks looked starry-eyed with his knuckles propped beneath his chin as he was watching you stare in the middle of the hall where people might be dancing on it soon, "Where's the pretty bard? I thought ye' would end up togetha'?"
"You dullard!" Belerick hit him in the head with a bone leg of a chicken, "---Ye' don't remember she's the lass that the white haired witcha' tried to save in the middle of slaughtering Tybalt's men?! Haven't ye' heard the gossips, Carac?!"
Merek audibly burped out loud. Careless and never giving a damn over his table manners as he slowly tapped his swollen belly full of beer and food.
"A murderer but a knight nevertheless. Not a pretty worthy tale to tell the people of Kaedwen, don't ye' think?"
"Guys, stop calling him that." you mumbled beneath a sigh, the frown turning deeper from mentioning about your witcher who you try to seldomly think of---but, it was difficult when you could feel what he felt even from afar and by the feeling of it, he seemed to be in distress just like you.
"What? a murderer? a knight? a monsta'? a mutant?"
Belerick was quick enough to attack his brethren, hauling an arm around his neck to choke his pal alive as he latched onto his back. Merek struggled against his hold, dry-heaving while the latter chewed on his smoked bacon, "I'm strangling ye'! She said to cease your horses or yer' makin' er' glum!"
"She ain't fuckin' the mutant! She gots to be feckin' him when it affects er' like this!"
The glass clung loudly in the hall, like a bell in a church that everybody worships. Everybody ceased their ceaseless yackety-yacks. People who surrounded you were noblemen, lords of different kingdoms and mansions whilst others were mere barbarians you expected to exist in a world you still haven't been familiar with---prior to the men seen in the first Inn you have been hardly welcomed in.
You've turned your head to see who has called everybody's attention and it was the king's loyal advisor and Geralt's old friend. He was prepped in a graceful outfit than before---suited for banquets like the one you're currently attending and seeing all the women wearing dresses and gowns, yours was the least vivid.
"This delightful, auspicious feast has been planned for the good fortune of everyone; for the chance that the prince shall be healed once the witcher comes back,"
Eanraig connected his grey eyes with your mirthless ones. The druid knew that you weren't highly thrilled to attend the feast by people who had given you trauma, "The queen and king highly believes that the future of Kaedwen finally has a path ahead for us and the people,"
As the scholar stood by the king on a floor higher than where everybody is, he'd raised a hand to call his attention. The side of his lips curl into genuine mirth, "Eanraig?"
"Your majesty?"
King Viduka raised a hand and gestured with his palm towards where you sat. The eyes of every human, deeming your presence as a person who seemed to be highly royal by how the king has addressed and thanked for what falsehood he was trying to let the people believe.
"For the help of the witcher's betrothed---an easy way to finally have him accept such favors, we must make a toast for her contribution for the future that has been set. A symbol of gratitude specifically given by the king that I wish for her to accept,"
You couldn't help but subtly cover the side of your face, your fingers scratching your temples but actually trying to avoid their judging stares. Their eyes heavy to be felt all around you especially from the gnomes who had their mouths ajar in consternation. This has been one of your discomforts, being stared by many without knowing what they thought of. The fading, healing bruises never helping the ignominy fighting with the awkwardness.
A sigh left your lips as you sat stiff on the chair, motionless by the spotlight being given. Silently asking yourself why you sat in the middle of the room when you could stand on the sides and stay hidden but attend the feast at the same time.
"Y/N of Asgard, please accept this toast. Thrice for a price that I can never repay---my gratitude over your witcher, his service and to yours. Coins if you may want to receive which I doubt no witcher's lover cannot refuse, a home for your family or any of your choice,"
The salted beef on your plate abruptly turned unappetizing when everybody started their own buzzes of condemnatory whispering campaigns by the mention of the word 'witcher' without even knowing who it was.
Yet, the brownies knew who this particular witcher was since he was the only one you were connected with, "I told ye' she's feckin' the witcher!" Carac loudly whispered beside Merek who dramatically fell on his chair while Belerick pounded his fist on the food-filled table.
"I feel feckin' betrayed! Yer' his missus?!"
You've shot your head up to see everyone still staring and awaiting for what you would ask for the king. Noblemen having lours that appeared to be permanent once the king publicly announced the relationship you had with Geralt, disbelieving that they've even thought of asking for your services because of how the rumors spread that you were the castle's trollop.
They've nodded to themselves. Yeah, you were a trollop. A mutant's harlot.
"Ughm---we already have a home. Pretty much homey than this extravagant castle you have. So, can I ask for more coins instead? Tons of it please. I think it's much more practical considering how we people live,"
King Viduka chuckled out loud, his laugh bombarding the great hall like an eerie echo you had found because this was the first time he actually cackled in your presence. It was probably a facade for the people, you mindlessly thought to yourself.
"The witcher plans to marry a clown and a smart lass. You have my word. Abundant coins and a toast of gratitude from the whole clan,"
Unbeknownst to you, there was more than just strangers or acquaintances circling your own space. A bard whom you've had become bosom friends with as he came with Geralt's relationship. Being two peas in a pod just like how you were with the witcher as well.
It took for a king's call to know that Jaskier attended the feast despite being told to stay at home. He never listens.
"For entertainment and to keep everyone out of their drunk stupor, may I request the bard standing from the far corner of the hall,"
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King Viduka hollered for Jaskier to grab onto his lute and strum whatever epic was needed to be sung. You've huffed out a disappointed breath and washed your face with both of your hands. Seeing him dressed up in such a lavish outfit---catching himself off-guard by how he was suddenly called, stammering from his first set of music.
Jaskier has been eyeing you for a while now. Finding Geralt's other half inconvenient for a hall filled with different types of people. From nanoscopic, small, medium till large. Yet, his own hunt have been easy when the king started to acknowledge the fact that you were there---even giving credits to be the person needed for the witcher to follow their favors; seeming to find it the only way for Geralt to listen and give in. The dress and make-up you were wearing not helping his job because you looked to be quite feminine and bewitching for the lady he knew.
A woman he knew to be filled with mirth and jolly. Now, sat afar from him was a drained, battered lass who he couldn't recognize unless stared upon. It was only days that it took for the continent's enmity to change your sole appearance and spirit.
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He started his song with a smile and a wink. Charismatic as he drifted from person to person, momentarily turning in his strides as he strummed his instrument like he was born to be a poet and a musician. The words leaving his mouth palatalized with every final letter, sounding more sung by the heart.
"Doeful eyes like a dear,
seems like a witcher who couldn't bear,
As vulnerable as she may be,
The witcher's destiny coverts her plea,
Known to be naive,
At the mercy of her mere existence,
She was his bonny tea-cup,
Drinking all of thy feigned monstrosity,
Oh! Garroter,
You're a man of few words,
Thou, cantankerous and brooding,
The witcher would still save thee,"
Until the moment you've realized he was actually singing the song he had written for you and Geralt. It took you a verse to squint your eyes back at him from how he was trying to pave his way towards where you sat. Attention wasn't a thing you thrive in and the bard's additional song performance had people clapping, dancing to the tune, and singing along to realize that it was a poem made by the bard for his witcher friend.
You wanted to melt in your seat. The heat travelling up your face from hearing the whole song for the first time. Back before being taken, you've only knew snippets of incomplete verses rather than the whole when you've been with Jaskier.
The bard finished his song when he stood before your sitting form, shooting daggers whilst Jaskier had his chest puffed with a lute latched as he mindlessly strummed, grinning down to see you glaring back like you've been disappointed upon firstly seeing him.
He was about to open his mouth and speak how unappreciative you were that they haven't thought twice to travel all across the kingdom just to attend the feast that was been rumored to be held---in hopes of seeing you and subtly wishing to sneak you out of the castle without swords being thrown at their backs.
By the mention of they, it meant to be Jaskier and Cirilla.
People went back to their own chatters. Most were talking about Jaskier's fresh written song, others tattling about how a witcher shouldn't be with a vulnerable woman like you---because his kind deserved no one; not even the pleasing idea of human nature on affection and care for proudly staying with Geralt by hook or by crook.
The gnomes were nowhere to be seen after Jaskier's given spotlight. They've left your side by finding women who were giving them flirty looks from the other table. Their bleats catching your attention when they've jumped off their chairs, grumbling over how you were being entertained by the witcher when they've expected Jaskier to be your plus one---a weakling they could battle for your attention.
But, the butcher of Blaviken was a different case. They needed to back-off in this instance.
You've eyed every bit of his actions, fidgeting over his nails when you've given nothing but silence and awkward, intense stares at him. He had to sigh and look around before kneeling in front of you, earning him more of your glares once you've connected your own with his baby blues.
The latter forgot what he was about to say with just one look from you. He mentally cursed inside his head for losing his charisma when the subject and the woman he was looking at has been you. He was still fond of you after all especially being prepared for the banquet with all those womanly essentials being painted on your face---the make-up making you more lovely than ever.
"Jaskier, what are you doing here?! aren't you beaten up enough to stay at home and take care of Cirilla? where's Cirilla?" squinting your eyes around, examining the whole room to see no Ashen haired child dancing or devouring on a plate.
Cirilla. Jaskier mentally thought to himself. Sparing a glance around the great hall, spotting an empty space where he left her and expected her to stay.
But, she was gone.
The curl of his lips trembled in the slightest. Showing confidence despite the worry suddenly making his nerves go wild. Though, he tries his hardest not to be obvious about his nervousness. His stammers had you crossing your arms against your chest, disbelief written all over your powdered face.
"Talking to one of the queen's sons---Oh." he nervously laughed and raised a hand to cup his nape, "She---she's completely safe and sound if you ask! Cirilla is in here somewhere,"
You didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. Sure, you've missed him---his playful jests and humor. So much that it made you cry to sleep every night just thinking about him, Cirilla and Geralt. But, now isn't the time for reconciliation when the castle was beyond dangerous for Geralt's family.
Jaskier instantly lost Cirilla after being given the opportunity to woo the king. A shake of your head was the only answer he'd gotten as you stood from your seat. Determined to find the child before she gets taken away by the bunch of people who knew nothing but hurt the people you love.
Jaskier evidently cleared his throat, blinking the guilty conscience away by changing the subject, "By the way, where is Geralt? Oh! I guess he must be finding the witch then---" his eyes zeroed on your healing bruises around your shoulder that haven't been covered by make-up. The troubadour instantly stood on his feet, his eyes swimming in utmost concern and regret.
"---Have you been bloody wacked by them?!"
"Shh!" you've waved him off with a faux, solemn smile to lessen his worries. His face even falling into a quick frown because your reaction says that his hunches were right. You didn't just tripped over things again and gained a boo-boo or whatsoever. This has been a work of hostility that Geralt has gained from being who he is---your presence involving the animosity that people felt.
Yet, you were still trying to fake your happiness when you could curse at everyone in the palace for landing a hand on your body which the witcher wholly and subtly takes care of. Jaskier could be the person of witness for how he knew Geralt when it came to you---the littlest wound tenderly being held like it was the worst thing to get and it humored him to see a scary, brooding monster slayer to be gentle towards another human being.
"You have still yet a smile to give, rat?"
Rat. It sounded refreshing in your ear other than the derogatory words you constantly receive from people.
"Don't worry about me. Worry about Cirilla and find her, Jaskier. I swear to God if she's lost---" you abruptly stopped in the middle of your sentence, bringing a palm up in his face, "---Don't you dare leave her for a one night stand,"
The bard blew a raspberry, wanting to laugh from how motherly you were sounding tonight---being more motherly than ever since the night you temporarily left them, "A one night stand you say? who stands in the night, rat?"
Sighing from his lack of knowledge over your modern words, you turned your body to grab onto your fork and jabbed a mutton to eat. Mouth closed as you chewed; once finished, you began to warn the beaming bard who seemed to be relieved to see you again.
"Such an imbecile. Shut up and go away before you get beaten up again,"
It didn't take long to feel arms suddenly envelop around your side. Her hands cupping your waist as it made you stand stiff and straight because of how the touch grazed through your slightly bulging stomach.
"Ma'!" The princess of Cintra sweetly hushed at your side, catching you off guard. The concern about her safety slowly fading when you've seen her bright face and joyous eyes, already in the verge of crying because of how it was lonely without you and Geralt in their home.
"You're---you're---"
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Your heart raced, thinking that she was catching onto your pregnancy when the child examined you from head to foot. A subtle, breathless sigh leaving your lips when she'd focused on your shoulder which now had marks and probably even a second degree burn made from metal to skin. You've embraced her back to hide the frown on your face against her braided hair. Turning your voice upbeat and nonchalant to worry her no more when she was needed to leave soon. "I'm fine, Princess. Just some little bruises that has been treated already,"
She hugged you more tighter, praying to the heavens that she does not notice the bulge of your stomach like you were a newly pregnant woman.
"You're wounded! Filled with awful bruises and marks!"
Cirilla sniffed after her outburst in the middle of a busy feast. You've heard her against your head and you couldn't help but coo and try to calm her down; tenderly as possible---like how you would to your own child, "I'm healing. Please don't cry, Cirilla. I'm still alive, right? I still can get to choke Jaskier in his sleep,"
That caught the bard's attention away from a woman who was trying to catch his eye by staring at him from afar. He did not have the audacity to sneak away and plan to woo a woman all through the night after the obvious angry midget who was simply displeased for his abrupt decisions. Though, he was tempted in the slightest. You could feel his judging gaze on the side of your face, squinting from your devious, hidden threat lacing on your tongue.
Cirilla pulled away. The panic for your condition constantly threatening her anxiety---for her 'ma' who has sacrificed herself for the sake of not risking her to be taken. Without Geralt on your side made her more anxious than ever because he would be the only person to keep you safe.
"Tell me Geralt's here---Geralt needs to be here with you!"
"He's not. He needed to find the witch to reverse the curse. You need to leave---both of you. This castle isn't safe if they know who you are---"
Forewarning has been cut short when Jaskier reached out for the child's hood of her cloak, quickly tossing it over her head with a flick of his wrist as he feigned a laugh, trying to let the person who was closing in, think that you were entertaining their night with stories that made him laugh. The bard swiftly pulled the princess on his side, swinging an arm around her shoulder and kept her struggles with a tight hold as she incoherently battled and complained.
"May I interrupt such moment?" Eanraig intervened whilst he stood on your side with a tray on his hand. Three cups of whatever they were offering on one while the other with an extra large bag of coins sitting on the other.
Jaskier did not bet his trust over people he hardly knew when he was with Cirilla. Howbeit, the determination sometimes slip for an accident or two that catches him asleep at the wheel. You've given him a look before giving heed over the druid---seeing the troubadour slyly wink with Cirilla twisting and turning in his arms.
The druid gently served the drinks specially made for you on your side of the table. In due course, reaching out to give you the heavy bag of coins, "Your requests have been granted. Please take these as a gift from the king,"
You've taken the bag, blinking rapidly as you realized how heavy it was. Probably worth a lot than you think, "Thank you, Eanraig."
"Three Kaedwenian Stouts? Oh my, do you see this small lassie as a drunkard?"
Julian Alfred Pankratz spiritedly questioned, grinning as he did without any idea who Eanraig was. Regardless of that, the scholar knew exactly who he was; a bard and a very close friend of the white wolf.
Eanraig gave Jaskier a smile of familiarity, "Ah, the white wolf's humble bard. Pleased to meet you." he acknowledged the bard with a tilt of his head, his eyes forming crinkles due to happily seeing him the first time.
"This is just a mere juice harmless...for her,"
The way Eanraig said the last word sounded to have a meaning to it. You knew what he was trying to say, knowing that maybe beer could harm the child growing inside of you. He'd informed the maiden who has made the drink for you to be safe which ended up being a wild fruit juice that would be new for your taste buds.
You couldn't help but move your toes against your boots. A nervous tick because of how you didn't want Cirilla and Jaskier know what magic was in the midst of a strange sprout.
"Coins. Crowns. Pesos. Euros. Dollars. Whatever you call it. This is...A lot. I think?" you've carried the bag in both of your hands, awkwardly giggling because you expected to receive money made in paper and not a bag filled with coins where it could technically be used as a ship's anchor from how weighty it is.
"Best given by the king, little woman. Spare him no questions,"
Eanraig gave a tiny bow of his head before he left to serve his presence for the king and queen. As you watched him leave, hearing the bard hush whispers along your ear with Cirilla huffing out loud and crossing her arms for his uncalled actions, telling him that Eanraig knew nothing of her past and he didn't need to shove her around. Word per word, everything was mixing with the noise in the hall and it was making your head hurt.
Perhaps, the ache meant something more as you held onto your temples, giving Jaskier the bag whilst he accepted it and continued.
"Have you exchanged coins with the devil, rat?! This is a lot of coins! Extremely more than what Geralt earns in a month of slaughtering beasts!"
"Focus on Cirilla and no other. You've brought her here---kept her in danger, Jaskier. You need to leave. Now." You frankly informed and shook your head, trying to wash off the heavy haze spinning inside your head, your heart ricocheting and also feeling more heavier than usual like it wanted you to feel anger and regret. Echo of voices went from ear to ear, suppressed words that wasn't meant for you to comprehend like how it has given you turmoil when it last happened.
Still, it was giving you turbulence when all the noise sounded to be a blur until you've felt Jaskier and Cirilla calling out for your attention. Lately realizing you had closed your eyes and held onto the table for support. A set of hands coming to catch you from your stumble and it came from different men.
"Your witcher---,"
"---Are you okay, rat?" the bard asked in concern, his eyes shifting towards the man who slithered his way amidst the crowd to talk as he continued his spiel, "---Yeah. Geralt's not going to like this one bit. Nope. Nah."
Otker and Jaskier spoke at the same time. The bard catching onto Otker's face and recognizing him from the day you've been taken. He was one of Tybalt's men. The latter narrowed his eyes at Otker's hold on your arm, vaguely giving a fair warning from how he was freely seeking a way to touch like you've both created a friendship in a mere set of days.
"Ma," Cirilla had to also acknowledge that fact as she was used to Jaskier and Geralt being the only men you knew.
You couldn't help but wince from the throbbing pain inside your head and also from their cynical disapproving looks, "What? I made friends with a guy and this is what you think of me---like I've did the birds and the bees?"
The ashen haired child loudly gasped, thoroughly understanding what you meant. Only you and Geralt were meant to create honey over playing with the bees. The action was embargoed for any other men because she believed you both to be lovers just like how she have seen and understood; believing that the birds and the bees was a happening meant for lovers to do and not strangers.
"You did not, Ma! I can't believe you!"
"I really didn't! What is wrong with the both of you thinking that way?"
Cirilla was clearly pouting. On the other hand, Otker leaned close enough on your ear to whisper his worries, "He's here." he swallowed the agitation, hearing your other child complain for him to move away from you and it took Jaskier to hold her in place for kicking him in the shins.
"---and he'd brought more than just the witch,"
His voice fluctuated in the slightest, offering the conspicuous worry. It wasn't long that you've noticed that he meant it to be a word to be worried about---a warning that was needed to be taken for the witcher's betrothed. Terror filled those forest green peepers, informing you that your witcher has not just brought a witch, but also a palpitating ounce of dread for his arrival.
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"Your Majesty," one castle guard raining in splatters of blood walked his way towards King Viduka. Bowing his head and kneeling beside him to whisper his urgent matters amongst the crowd having fun in the middle of the banquet.
"---The...The witcher has arrived but we have been ordered for the prohibition of his entry by Lady Ingrith and Queen Makeda. He has cost some slight...bloodshed upon the gateway for his restriction,"
"Isn't he a bit too early?" the king nonchalantly muttered and drank his wine, paying no heed to the guard and shared looks with his queen, seeing her eyes swam in distress from the guard's entire state.
King Viduka turned to see his men coated in a fair amount of blood on his face as it also stained his armor in the making. The guard had a deep frown, his nose scrunched as he thought about what the entrance gates were filled with. His mates amputated in a gory battle and some had no heartbeat at all---leaving him in a guess that they were killed purposefully based on how he remembered they were the set of guards who had hurt you with a cudgel and a scathing metal.
"That doesn't look like some slight blood shed to me if your hair is utterly drenched in blood!" the latter has slightly raised his voice, panic set in his features whilst he leaned to hear more of his explanations and findings.
The guard had no other thing to say but stammer, "He...well,"
"Eanraig," he hastily called and pulled his friend's collar to whisper in his ear.
"Yes, your highness?"
"The Witcher---why---why is here---trying to cause chaos?! You need to cease his monstrosity. People are here!"
Eanraig peeked to see the guard stained with gore. The druid had to close his eyes and feel what was happening outside of the hall, he was about to speak how it was too late now when a clutter of yells and screams followed suit beyond the room---everybody had to cease their merrymaking. Silence falling in a quick beat when one nobleman standing on the side of the large wooden, double doors saw a sword pierced through the wood; close to his face which made him jog away as the yells turned even more louder.
The door opened with a loud bang. Knights flew inside with bleeding limbs, falling on their backs in their heavy armor.
Cirilla, Jaskier and you had to give dreading looks with each other, your nerves having the jitters upon seeing two men fly inside the hall. Breathing hitched and heart stopping its beat for what was about to come---for what status has the witcher ended up being.
Blood cascaded a face you never seem to forget. Mixed with human blood and also others. His silvery tresses matted in a fair amount of blood you couldn't recognize. Thoroughly grungy as you've recognized him from afar---first thought was that he seemed to lack care for himself; bathing never coming to his mind till the day you've bathed him back at your chambers before he left in a hussy fit. Standing upon the threshold was a squalid, disgruntled witcher who had no other expressions other than scowls. Yet, you knew better that this type of frown was different than the rest. Tougher, angrier and utterly drawn in betrayal.
He took cautious steps forward, his otherworldly eyes scanning the crowd to seek for you and found more than what he expected. Jaskier and Cirilla. His other most important people and probably the first who he had given protection. His favorite people being around the presence of monsters in human disguise.
"Mutant!"
More horsemen marched their way to surround the witcher---barricading him from entering. Geralt had his lip curled, utterly sardonic for one to recognize, being a taunting warning as he spoke.
"You know better to step back," he gruffly groused before he squinted his eyes at the knight who has courageously yelled at him. The witcher's nose scrunched like he had smell something awful whilst his expression turned sour.
"Your scent. I can smell her on you. Did you touch her?"
Upon Geralt's seethe, the cavalier blinked dumbfoundedly with a creasing forehead, finding weirdness for the question that the witcher demanded to know.
Your scent was on this certain knight's body. Regardless being one of the person who has been involved in such assaults over an innocent woman. This was how Geralt knew he was one of Ingrith's men whom she has ordered to hurt you in your dungeon days before tonight.
Another sentinel stealthily sauntered close to him, a smug grin reaching from ear to ear as he claimed and it looked to be Roger who simply hated you and your other half's existence in their world.
"Who gives a fuck about yer' whore, Witcha'? Isn't that er' job? Wouldn't want to touch er' because of how she was probably been fucked a lots already!"
It sounded like a yes, also a no and a mere mockery for his point of view. Geralt has understood it in the darkest way and thought about how they have touched you without your own consent---forcefully might he add to that spiteful, bitter taste in his tightly closed mouth.
The witcher barred his teeth, fangs aggressively on show. There was that low, humming of a growl. The gold specks in his eyes turning darker for the anger being kept inside. Roger clasped his hand on his sword a little tighter than usual, the other sentinel beside him trembling on his own toes as he held onto his metal shield.
Roger planned to stab him. The motion in his arms already lifting halfway when Geralt saw everything and knew what was going to happen. King Viduka's guards weren't going to yield anytime soon. The white wolf simply spun on his heel, swiftly scooting in the middle of both men but not before amputating Roger's arm off in brutality.
His screams of terror and pain reverbrated the room, alarming the guards that he was there to kill anyone in his way.
He was ready to stab another nightwatchmen who went running towards him when his attack has been swerved. It didn't finish there because another knight who was lanky compared to the rest countered his strike on beheading one guard with a sword as well.
The cluttering of metal rang aloud. Forest green eyes and the color of stars in the night connected. Geralt was growling per attack, their eyes tucked below their grating weapons---under the blade where it connects.
Otker was heaving deep breaths, struggling against his strength as he subtly shook his head back at Geralt to tell him not to continue what he planned. Howbeit, he smelled the strong wift of your faint scent radiating off the righteous knight who has held you a while ago. It was so strong; utterly pressurizing him. The witcher didn't think twice to shake him off his way by strongly pushing Otker to the side, making him propel back on a table filled with food that has ruined the aesthetic of it by spilling everywhere.
Jaskier and Cirilla heard you murmur his name in the most hushed volume, turning their heads to look at you and it wasn't unnoticed by the witcher himself as he ceased his tracks upon battling with another knight who raised a sword on him.
"Geralt?" you voiced out, acknowledging his presence for the second time, snapping out of your trance upon seeing him finally. Suddenly forgetting why you were upset with him for days and nights. He seemed to catch onto your voice and snapped his head to see the yearning gaze inside your eyes. Geralt saw the slight pout of your lower lip. A frown that he certainly understood by how the bond could sense your tumbling emotions over this event---the connection heightening for this particular moment other than the days you've spent time with him.
The crowd were rooted on their spot, not knowing what to do. Drunkards seem to be raising their glasses and sending derogatory remarks over your sooty witcher that Geralt paid no heed to it. Out of the blue, being distracted to see you dressed for such a feast made to deceive for their welcoming character, he hadn't see one heavily armored man swing his sword towards his arm where he has been holding Tybalt's head---fighting all guards with a hand who held nothing but his steel sword.
The white haired weccan growled from the sudden impact, feeling the blade slashing through his skin and armor. The first time they have finally made the witcher bleed since he arrived. Geralt held onto his sword's hilt, thoroughly undisturbed by Tybalt's cut head on his other hand, the heel of his palm being used as support when he had no contrition upon wounding the man with a quick slash on his chest, breaking his armor as his blade punctured his skin. Yielding his sword to cut off a limb---the fury growing bigger because he had sense your scent crawling on this person's skin.
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People gasped from the battle. Another cavalier who seemed to grab onto his weapon took a step forward with a large cudgel for Geralt to immediately cut the weapon in half and never forgetting to risk him a gash or two on his shoulder as he spun around to clung his blade over a knight's sword. Battling with the witcher's abnormally great fencing---Geralt's inhumane strength overpowering the chevalier as he knelt to the ground.
The witcher did not give any second thought and held onto his weapon, pulling away to strike a slash over his jugular when an authorative voice hollered before him. Geralt lately realizing that he has traveled all the way in the middle of the great hall and made guards think that he was there for a massacre and to slaughter the king of Kaedwen.
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"Guards! Lay down your weapons! Witcher!" King Viduka screamed, the barbarians ready and about to pounce on anyone just because it seemed like it.
Geralt of Rivia heaved deep breaths, the warm, fresh, crimson liquid drizzling down his face like he had committed another butchery that people will be gossiping about once this ends. He cocked his head to the side, nonchalantly throwing the head of the dead higher vampire in the middle of the room. The whispering turned louder and more gasps never seem to cease.
His shoulders were squared and jaw tilted to address the idiotic king of a kingdom he once have been in and returned for safety purposes.
"Your highness," he hoarsely grumbled, subtly shifting his eyes to pave a look at Tybalt's putrid and decomposing head laying on the ground.
"---Consider my job and your favors done tonight,"
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I didn't expect this fanfic to reach 60k reads on Wattpad. For the celebration, I will also be updating here in Tumblr as well because WOTN masterlist has reached 1.6k notes as well. I love y'all. How is everyone btw? I wanna know how are you guys right now. <3
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arllenn · 3 years
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image des: I really loved the fact that your brought their past into the light, that you made them actually effected and reflected on it. So often I just see stories focusing on their relationship with the "new" characters (Caesar, Luminous, Johann, The Gen fam) so following that line of thought.
Can I request a flashback scene? Like when we get requested to make it snow (at the beginning of the game) the group of friends reaction to it snowing makes you reflected on your past. In which a fluffy meeting/promise happens between Z, Renata and you. Or even any fluff you can think of between the three? It can be when they were kids or the age they were at during the game.
Admittedly I would love it if you can really focus on Z and the Character interaction/relationship because we all know he cares for Renata; they have that slacker x mother hen childhood friend vibe going on. But the idea that Z and you are ACTUALLY close (it just LOOKS like your friends with Renata and only friendly acquaintances with Z from the outside) makes me happy and bittersweet.
Sorry this got so long!
Tags for this chapter: fluff, hurt no comfort, bittersweetness, pure angst at first tho Tw: mentions of death and cannon typical violence, puke, death Time setting: pre japan like imagine if the mc got an adjustment period at cassell before they got shipped off to dragon war
You smiled happy to be of help to the friends who were separating today. Their cheerful giggles and cries of happiness as they raved over being able to leave on a snowy day just like the one from when they had met made your insides bubble with warmth and nostalgia. Z, Renata and you had been the same once..... before, before Herzog had...
You shake your head, now isn't the time for this. You wring your wrists, it's a habit you picked up from Z, though you two do it for different reasons. You feel a bit light headed, your knees are weak, it's so weird to see snow and not see your beloved friends among it. It just felt wrong to not feel their warmth around you in this cold tempature. The others giggling is getting too loud, it's beggining to ring in your ears and bounce around in your head at the same time as the memories of Renata and Z pour out of your head and spill in front of your eyes. You stiffly walk over to Claudia, left foot, left hand, right foot, right hand. Back and forth back and forth. You want to leave, but it’d feel wrong just going without checking with her.
“We met and departed on a snowy day.” She sounds so happy and while you’re glad that you were able to help them you also can’t help but feel cloying jealousy at the fact that this trio, Claudia, Susu and Leah get to be together, to meet and depart on snowy days filled with joy, while you can’t. You want to be able to see Z and Renata, you want to be able to tease them while jumping for joy and promising to stay in contact. You want to be able to send them off with a smile on your face and a promise to be well.
But you can’t.
And that’s it.
There’s no going back and searching, there’s no making up after an argument, there’s just nothing. Renata is dead Z is dead everyone is dead! And you can’t do anything about it.
Staggering away you start walking towards one of the benches in the courtyard that face the library. To say that you collapse on it would be an understatement. It’s like all the bones in your body liquified then disappeared at that moment. You clench at the snow on the bench, using the all too familiar feeling of it to guide you through your memories. The day you arrived at the orphanage, the first time you met Renata, Z and you arguing over who would get to hold which of Renata’s hands, the day Vera had arrived, so small and only a year old. You remembered her small finger curling around your own while Z helped you readjust how you held her.
Just Renata, Z and you.
But now it’s just you. You clench at your throat, clawing at it as if that’ll destroy the lump forming in it. You bring your knees up to meet with your chest. Burying your head in your arms. It hurts, you want to see them. At this point you’d even take Anton and Khorkina’s belittling of you or even Ivan and Sherkman failing horribly to hide the fact that they were dating over anything else that could possibly occur right now.
Rubbing your face on your knees you try to get rid of the few silent tears that have begun to spill. It doesn’t work, in fact it just makes everything so, so much worse. Memories of your childhood fly by, you’re loosing your grip on reality you know that. You don’t want to do it here. Not on a bench where anyone can see, if you’re completely honest you don’t want to confront them at all. But that isn’t an option, it’s never going to be an option for you, because you’re trying so hard to push them down and stamp them out right now. And it’s not working.
One of the wandering vending machines come up to you, clawed arm holding something in it. You can't see it at all, your line of sight only contains your legs after all, but you can hear the distinctive beeps of the machine, the whirring of its mechanical organs that allow it to move. You can feel the jagged edges of a wrapper lightly scratching at your leg through your uniform. The robot beeps twice shoving the snack into your leg once again before dropping it and skittering off. Lifting your head up you stared down at the snack you had been left with. Maybe the world really does hate you. Maybe you deserve to constantly have your mind ripped at and heart torn apart, because laying there in front of you is a cookie a chocolate chip one at that. The second your eyes land on the bubbly font that spells out chocolate you cant help but watch in horror as Vera falls in front of you, mere feet away, body still warm as she hits the snow, dead. You feel the bile rise in your throat, it isn't something that you can just swallow down either. Hand clapped over your mouth you stand, getting ready to run.
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You have no idea how you've made it back to your dorm room without puking on the way here, but now you're sitting over your toilet dry heaving into it. You stare down at the item that made you like this the choco- you spit into the toilet. Cookie, you'll just refer to it as a cookie. You consider tearing off the top half of the wrapper but then the smell of the cookie and the chocolate might just tip you over the edge. Instead you settle for smacking it away from you. In some small way it makes you feel better.
You hate that Herzog has ruined this for you. You hate that you can’t even see the word chocolate without feeling your insides churn, you hate that you can’t see snow without seeing your friends bloodied corpses staring back at you, eyes glassy and unfocused. Cookies were the first dessert that you had ever tasted and the last one. You remember the day you had first tried to bake them.
That day Z had let you in his room, Renata was sick, and neither of you were allowed to be around her as per Herzogs orders. With the knowledge that you have now you think you understand why you weren’t allowed to see her back then. Rather than actually being ill Renata was probably suffering from the side effects of the incomplete evolution pills. But either way natural disease or not it had been just you and Z. Sitting side by side on his bed, you laying with your torso hanging off his bed partially, practically upside down, and him crisscross leaned up against the wall that his bed bordered, a hand close enough to your leg to catch you if you started to slip. You two had been mindlessly talking, reading some book that you’ve forgotten the name of now, alternating turns each chapter. When you had gotten to a part where the main character was making cookies for their friend as a get well gift.
“Hey Z, have you ever had a cookie? I mean I’ve heard of them but I’ve never even seen one.”
“I can’t say that I have,” he yawned, “I’m not a big fan of sugar in general. That combined with the fact that the orphanage doesn’t even get the ingredients for them makes it obvious that I’d never even have the chance to try them, same as you.”
“That’s too bad, based on the description I think they’d be pretty good. You think Renata has ever had one?”
“I’m not her, I wouldn’t know.”
“I mean fair enough, but I kinda expected that you would, you guys spend forever having those late night talks after you send me to bed.”
You haul yourself up and spin on your ass so that you’re looking him in the eye, “Speaking of~, I won’t allow you to marry my daughter young man!” You cross your arms in an ‘X’ in front of you shaking your head. “Absolutely not don’t think I’ll allow anything of the sort!!”
Snorting he had pushed on your forehead with his finger until you were laying down the same as before and used his foot to roll you away from him. “2/10, If you’re going to give me a shovel talk then you should at least be intimidating, 1, and 2 you should do it in front of Renata so that you can embarrass her, who just gives that kinda talk straight to the supposed,” he raised his hands and gave out finger quotations “boyfriend?”
“Is that back talk I hear sonny? Don’t make me get up there!”
”Yeah because you haven’t already.” You can’t see him from your position but you can hear the smile on his voice. An accomplishment if you’ve ever seen one! You mean the stoic eternally tired Z was snorting and smiling because of what you said! You always loved times like this, when you would manage to break through his exterior and draw out a reaction, (preferably positive!!), out of him. Tapping his knee you grip onto his leg to pull yourself up once more, you can see him contemplating rolling you off the bed, thankfully he chooses peace for once.
”No okay but dead seriously, let’s go make cookies for Renata. We just got the shipments a little while ago, there’s got to be some of the stuff we need in there! We’ll just ask Herzog,”
“Or steal”
“Yes, or steal, come on it’ll be great!”
“Normally Renata would be here to stop you, which I am always grateful for since it means that I don’t have to be the one to talk you out of these things,”
You snap your fingers, “Speed it up Z, do I have a partner or am I gonna have to start running before you catch me?”
He claps a hand over your mouth which you look down at “Don’t you dare lick me,” is what he says in response to your stares. “As I was saying before someone cut me off,” if gives you a pointed stare, “Normally Renata would be here to be the voice of reason, however since she’s ‘sick’ and I don’t want to have her on my neck about you getting in trouble later here are my words of caution,” He takes his hand off your mouth and pats slaps your cheek twice before bringing the tips of his fingers in between the book page that you had been on and the next, folding it over and closing it. “Don’t, and if you do don’t get caught.”
It was your turn to snort, “What the heck, you suggested stealing in the first place!” You laughed. He shrugged his shoulders and set the book down on his bedside table getting up off the bed and bringing his arms above his head to stretch.
”I never said that we weren’t going to steal if that’s what you decide to do I simply offered you a word of advice about you stealing alone.
”AWWWW Z I knew there was a reason I put up with you!” You cried jumping up off the bed and attempting to latch onto his back,
He turned to face you swatting your hands away, muttering about you being “too big for him to carry like that anymore”
“What was that!?”
He pinched your cheek with one hand and used the other to ruffle your hair in a way that you knew wasn’t meant to be affectionate but instead to mess it up. “Look at how big the babies gotten! It can walk and talk now! Go ahead say ‘papa’ again!” You knew that you could never win against Z in a fight, all attempts left you on the floor with him sitting on you, or you hiding behind Renata and you exercising your lying and puppy dog eyes abilities. But boy oh boy did Z have a way of activating your Cain instinct and making you want to slap the shit out of him (affectionately of course). You heaved out a long suffering groan, and pulled Z’s hands off of you. You walked over to where his dresser was and sucked your teeth as you stared at your reflection. You tried your best to undo his damage to your hair, but it was a lost cause, hanging your head you turned to him with what you hoped was a horrifying, knee shaking, earth quaking, chicken baking, glare.
“This is why you’re an orphan.”
“Fair enough.” He said with a shrug before motioning towards the door, are we leaving now or what.”
“I’m coming, we’re going.” You said waving your hand at him in a shooing motion.
The minute you stepped outside it had been like you were ass blasted into one of the shipment containers mega freezers. You rubbed at your arms, lamenting the fact that you lived on a hunk of ice in the middle of a polar bears ass cheeks. “Okaaay so,” you clapped your hands together, “Do we know where Herzog is?” Z yawned and shook his head no from beside you. “Alright thank you for your participation! Gold star! I’ll go ask Anton, you stay here. And don’t fall asleep!” You ran off to go find Anton ignoring Z’s comment about you acting like a stray dog.
Heaving you clutched at the toilet, sobbing over the loss of your friends. You couldn’t even think of the times back then as being over, you just can’t.
No, that’s not right, you know they’re over, you know those peaceful days of snow and teasing are over. And yet you still long for them, you want to feel Z’s hands in your hair once more, want to feel the thrill of catching him off guard and running to hide behind Renata. You want back the times that you had spent, absorbed in watching Vera as she took her first steps, your young self amazed that anyone could ever be so small. You miss those moments when you seriously contemplated smashing Antons face into the ice under your feet, missed the random times when Ivan would pull you away to look at something cool that he had found. You just missed being homeyou miss the safe feeling that you had been provided with daily back then. Ignorance truly is bliss you suppose. If you had survived not knowing about what Herzog had done, if you survived thinking that all of this was just some randoms attack on you and your family would you have been happier? It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done.
You dry heave and spit into the toilet, bile rising in your throat but not to the point in which it would spill past your lips. Your vision is blurry from the tears and your head throbs with the pain of the pressure your tears are both building up and releasing. “I wanna go home…” you mumble slowly laying yourself down on the floor, hands clutched into your hair, fingers threading themselves in with the strands and pulling at them like a tide. You would yank at your hair then let it all fall out of your grip, massaging your scalp slightly, and then yanking at it again. You continued in this way as the blurry memory of that day played in front of you. Anton being no help, Khorkina doing her best to goad you into punching her, Ivan being somewhere that you swear was unreasonably high up. Eventually finding Herzog and asking him, him granting you permission as long as you cleaned up after yourselves, running back to Z with the good news.
“Z! Z! Listen to this!” He looked up at you from his spot on the stairs, clearly bored out of his mind, but hey at least he hadn’t fallen asleep like you asked!
He made a twirling motion with his hand “What is it?”
You placed your hands on your hips and grinned, “Herzog says we can use the stuff in the kitchen as long as we clean up afterwards!” You gave an overzealous thumbs up afterwards to make your point even clearer.
“That’s great!” He said all too sarcastically. Getting up he put both hands on your shoulders resting all of his weight on them before finally standing up straight shushing you and your whining.
It hurry you so much to know that everyone is gone. It hurts to know that you’ll never get that chance to just see them again, to hear their voices, catch a glimpse of them on the street. Instead they’re all dead and there’s nothing that you can do about it. You had watched everyone die, you had seen their eyes glaze over and go out of focus. You had seen how their blood stained the pure white snow a bright and somber red. You had run past them as you registered them as dead, praying to nothing but everything at the same time that at least one of them would live. That you would get to hold at least one of them in your arms as you two promised to stay with each other. But you didn’t get that. Instead you got to watch as Renata faded into the distance, your last hope, you got to claw through icy waters, pleading your legs to move, to allow you to save your dearest friend….
”Z, Z, Z! Help me I have no idea why the egg keeps cracking like that!”
“Maybe it’s cracking like that because you keep squeezing them until they explode.”
“Don’t use that tone of voice with me young man! I’ll have you know that Dr.Herzog says that I’ve made great progress in my home economics studies.” You proudly bumped your chest with your fist only to look down and see your uniform covered in egg goop. Z snickered before handing you a rag and motioning for you to hand him the bowl and the eggs. You slid it over to him with your elbow and focused on cleaning your hands and uniform up.
”Here,” he held up one of the eggs,”I’ll show you how to crack an egg, so that you don't end up wasting all of them.” He hit it lightly on the edge of the bowl, holding both ends of the egg with his fingers and pulling his palm so that the egg slowly slipped out of the shell before proceeding to throw the shell somewhere off to the side of him. He pushed the bowl back towards you with a smug look on his face. "You get it now?"
"Yep, yep, yep," you waved your hand at him dismissively before turning back to the book. "Okay so now we mix wet ingredients and dry, then we add in the chocolate." Getting the chocolate for the recipe had been the hardest part. With how rare chocolate is at the orphanage and the fact that you weren't allowed into your room because of how sick Renata was it had been hard to find any. Eventually after bribing Z and way too much effort on your part, you had ended up on Z's shoulders searching through the backs of the older and dustier cabinets, in one of which you had found a chocolate bar that was a week off from its expiration date. Not the best but it could've been 10 times worse you suppose. Z pushed the chocolate towards you with this hand before resting his head on his hand.
"So how much longer do we have? It's getting late." Z stifled a yawn.
You glanced at the book and back down at the cookie batter that you were currently scooping out and onto the baking sheet. They didn't hold their shape as well as the book described them as being able to but you supposed that it was just a matter of reality vs. idealized fiction. "Um I don't know. The book says that they need 25 minutes to bake properly and who knows how long its going to take to clean this all up."
"Well good luck with that." He said slapping his hand down on the table, turning around on his stool, and standing up.
Even if it was just the memory of the sound, the slapping of Z's hand on the table sent a wave of nausea scorching through your body. Everything was a blur, reality, what you were really seeing, cold white tile and the rug in front of the shower were blending together with the cold white of snow, the rug that was in you and Renata's cabin. You felt hands on your face, were they from the memory of Renata checking your temperature or were they your own? Your vision was swimming, you were underwater, you were lying on the bathroom floor. You were drowning, you're lying on the bathroom floor. You're dying, you can't see.
You clamored up in a haze, you have to run! You have to get to Renata and Vera and Anton and and and and! And you slam into a desk that was out in the middle of Hezog's lab. Z is right there, Renata is right there, Vera is right there! All you need to do is reach out a little further and you'll be there! You'll be able to save them! You finally latch onto Z's uniform begging him not to go, begging him to stay with you, because if you go alone then everyone will die. "PLEASE Z!" You yell out. "I need you, I need you, I need you, everyone's dying, dead, dying dead, dying, dead, I can't save them! PLEASE!" And then the Z you're holding onto collapses, leaving nothing but a pile of clothes behind. His uniform lies bloodied in your hands. Renata lies bloodied in your hands. Anton lies just out of reach, dead. "Come back, please." You clutch onto Z's uniform harder. The tears don't falter as you trace your hands along the sleeves of the uniform. "The sleeves are too short you should get Herzog to make you a new one." You chuckle fondly. only...
Only...
Only the uniform has too many mistakes for it to have ever been Z's, theres too big a difference in size. It doesn't smell the same. It's not his... it's yours. You're not at the orphanage, you're in your dorm at Cassel. You're sitting on hardwood floors right now, not the powdery snowfall of home. Its warm, not cold, theres no dead bodies, only you and the mess that you made when you stormed through here earlier. You choke on a sob, tears coming down in even thicker streams, your headache had bloomed into a splendid migraine. You can barely see straight, but you know for sure that this isn't anywhere near, by or in the orphanage. And it can never be. The orphanage is gone now. Everyone's bodies are probably still lying on top of the snow, glassy eyes unfocused and unseeing, faces twisted in fear. Or maybe they've been charred to ashes, with nothing left to remember them by, their remains carried by the winds or at the bottom of the sea. You clutch your uniform tighter, biting down on it to muffle your screams and sobbing.
You have no idea how long you've been here. Your tears have faded now, only leaving the uncomfortable burning of the dried tear tracks in their memory. You don't stare at anything in particular, theres nothing left of your emotions, just the dull ache of apathy. Your vision is spotted with dancing black circles and lines. They look a bit like what you imagine TV static would look like but you really have no idea. Your conscious waves and ebbs like the tides from back home. You can't think of anything other than the feeling of the cloth clutched in your embrace right now. Sighing you bury your face in it, resigning yourself to a night on the floor.
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anbubisibuna · 2 years
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This is why I think Mara had difficulties choosing between Magnus and Kaya:
( from someone who never even had a serious relationship)
( I really don't believe Mara was still in love with Kaya after she kissed Magnus)
Mara has done so much to be with Kaya. She literally wasted so much of her personality just to be with him. She risked her friendship with Delia just to be with him. Mara probably liked him way back the series even started. And now just throwing it away felt like a waste of time and that it was all for nothing.
Her feelings for Magnus were different but much better. I once read somewhere if you are with your person you feel comfortable around them. She also tells Magnus later when she decides to be with him that she feels comfortable and that she can be herself around him. With Kaya she always looked so uncomfortable. Maybe she thought that anxiety feeling was normal and confused it with butterflies. And that feeling she had with Magnus maybe she didn't know it was love.
Falling for Magnus was not something she intented to or planned. Mara strikes me as the type of person who wants everything perfectly planned and organized. She did likely plan to marry Kaya someday and grow old with him. ( she was Borderline obssessed with him in season 1 to a very concerning grade, and that the teachers were still like: 'yeah this is love they should be together' i mean that looks more like obsession than love to me) And when she realised she's now in love with somebody else, she's like: "oh shit." Later on when she is alone with Magnus in the school bathroom she kisses him. Then when Kaya finds everything out. Mara excuses herself by saying: " It just happened." With this is i think she doesn't mean the kiss but more like catching feelings for Magnus. That was that just happened. Her face of realization after finishing the song fits more for that.
She was afraid what the others would think. Magnus is not the most popular guy in school or in general. Kaya is the most popular guy in school. Every girl at school dreams about being with him. But then she starts having serious feelings for Magnus ( to the point she even cheats on her back-then boyfriend) Her sister even says that doing something like that is not something that is like her. Mara is also someone who really cares what others think of her. This was alot in Season 1. But as the show progressed she got more comfortable being herself.
She was sad that Kaya wasn't the person she thought he was. I think i said it before that I believe that Mara was more in love with the idea and image of Kaya than the actual person. In Season 2 when Luzy and Magnus told her that he isn't so great. She is in denial. Not so much with Magnus later because she asked him what he thinks of Kaya. He answers her honestly what he thinks. But it didn't sound so sincere anymore not even for herself. Maybe this realisation that Kaya wasn't the person she thought he was and she imagined herself to be with devasted her.
Her not making a choice right after she kissed Magnus is more proof that she doesn't want Kaya rather than she doesn't want Magnus imo. If the kiss didn't mean anything and she didn't have any feelings for Magnus she would have easily chosen Kaya but she didn't. She just tried to hold onto it aslong as possible because she was afraid of making a decision.
She was in denial about being in love with Magnus. It was obvious. Even before the Karaoke happened. How she looked at him in the kitchen when she was making milk for him or when he fell asleep at her place. And the kiss was way to long and deep not be serious.
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And when Kaya asks her if she's in love with him she doesn't answer. And when her sister asks her she first smiles in a dream like way and says: " His name is Magnus." After her sister looks at her Mara answers quite quickly with no. I mean..
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