#LIKE. WHERE IS IT A GENERIC SHOUNEN MANGA FIRST OF ALL??

[cinnabeat]

god i read a post that was like. the manga acts like a shitty generic shounen manga and it only gets interesting once lacie shows up and. how do i kill someones opinions with my hands

#LIKE. WHERE IS IT A GENERIC SHOUNEN MANGA FIRST OF ALL?? #does oz act like your standard shounen protag? yes! bc he actively forces himself to act like that!! boy literally wants to die!! #he literally pointed gils gun at his head when gil was being controlled by zwei!!! in like!!!!! the forst ten chapters i cant remember when #it is but like!!!! he may act like a standard protag but hes also vwry much not like he has DEPTH actually #look me in the eyes and tell me ph has the same shitty genericness as fucking bn/ha #AND THEN??? the rest of it is no where near standard shounen shit like bro ive read so many standard shounens like the basic ones you know #ft i once caved and read op but it got super boring and also was shit anyways #like they are not the dame bro!!!!! the vibes are different!!! this is mot standard!!! #the depth of the themes and the characters and even the fucking world building are so much deeper than other ones like bro 😭 #god you wanna talk about something that starts off standard and then gets actually interesting lets talk about tcf cuz its only after 100 ch #chapters that that bitch actually gets interesting beyond 'this could potentially be good' and that shits nearly 800 #chapters #god im so mad #michi tag

[necronatural]

The Reigen Arataka Deranged NormalMan Review

Do you ever think about how Reigen has like. A really strange belief in The System and How Things Should Be. Like REALLY strange. Whatever he's got going on is so much weirder than "scammer with a heart of gold".

I think it all comes together if you read the 10th Season 3 omake like, seriously interrogate this:

This is normal, if comedically thoughtful and realistic for a shounen character. This guy talks like a mandatory reporter. What's strange is what immediately follows:

"AS A SPIRITUAL SPECIALIST" DOING A LOT OF HEAVY LIFTING HERE REIGEN

Not only did he hunt down the families of the children bullying his client (insane. where did he get that info), he also contacted the school as if he were representing his own son in order to get justice, and then hunted down a source of complaints when the school fell through.

This is like a genuinely bizarre level of commitment to the bit, and the bit is "the system works, and if it doesn't work, we will find a system that does work, and if we cannot, hell or high water it is my PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY to make the system stop slouching so it works again".

Long thread on the manga with this reading⬇️

Before I start. Reigen adopting Teru is more IC than you think but I don't think it is IC in the way people think it is. I think about this a lot and I think people who do it because they like Reigen aren't understanding how into his bit he is. Guy who talks to social services

So remember the arc that won people over to Reigen despite the fact he's an asshole who takes advantage of Mob and derides him constantly in order to keep him complacent?

He has Mob's phone on his GPS. This makes sense; he's been taking him out and about since he was 11. Very responsible!

Reigen dismisses the "Boss" mistake thinking well, it's a misunderstanding, but it got me in. Yet as soon as he heard they're committing crimes, he VISIBLY puts on his Boss Pants to chastise them. Again, normal so far. I think any scammer with a heart of gold would do this. (And foreshadowing for why he retried reprimanding the Claw Cadres a second time after getting power.)

Again. He's a scumbag. So he leaves Mob to beat their asses using his previous rhetoric. But then!

Reigen's shady morality is more like "people who can take care of things should take care of things". To him, Mob is the Authority on Espers, and can handle conflict like this. Immediately upon becoming aware he can't, Reigen thinks "oh, okay, so the only person who can take care of things is someone who can deescalate". (Pictured: Deescalation)

Okay. Besides the fact this is insufferable as a general concept - YOU just told him to handle it YOU are the source of his stress - his first step in deescalation is to force Mob to back down. Rather than asking him not to fight, he reestablishes "rules" in order to convince Mob he must back down - the same way he tried using what he said to worm his way out of dealing with this shit - and then sets himself up as the authority figure to which the others must obviously defer in matters of His Boy, like a parent accepting criticism at a PTA meeting. This isn't Reigen claiming Mob so much as "in order for them to not attack Mob, they must view me as a representative for Mob".

And like a good authority figure:

Continuing with his phrasing:

If you think about it, this is like...an objectively very strange and incredibly bold approach to this situation. They're homicidal. Reigen is a DERANGED level of Normal Man. He has this image in his head of normalcy, of the world at standard operating procedures, and reinforces it right through an entire conflict. Carceral beliefs don't even factor into this, simply expressing his principles and expecting them to fold.

And they do lol. I keep wondering how Shou must have felt listening to him talk like that

We see a little more of his good side in work; when he was getting so little work it was affecting his grocery bills, this moneygrubbing scammer still asked for like $200 to clear an entire city of hauntings. (His regular exorcisms are around $30). Fair prices are part of his principles of how the business should be. He operates basically at-cost. He mentions he wanted to come out here because he's bored. He's killing time as a career.

Aside:

Just realized he called Mob in last minute so Mob didn't know he accepted crops instead of money. Shigeo didn't like that

So consider that he never got caught here and there was a call on the news to hunt him down at the end of this bit: for the average viewer of the anime, it's just funny, but this is part of the Mogami pre-arc so we've gotten a hold of him by now; he probably holds an inherent belief that the police will intercept him and not Mob. Why wouldn't they? Why would an adult man want to dress up in a highschool girl's uniform? The System will understand.

Not relevant to my point but I like how he realizes what's wrong with Mob way before the final arc, just not why it's happening. Also he doesn't say anything.

With the way his principles are, you really get the feeling that Reigen does his best to avoid culpability specifically because if something happened that was his fault, he'd have to step up to the plate to compensate for that, which is troublesome to him who is a career time-killer. It does not occur to him that an actual bad person and scammer would not step up to the plate as a matter of course. This is his way

What I find really interesting is that this Militant Insane NormalMan does have a sense of wanting something "special", but rather than whip Mob up the way Dimple did Ritsu, he ended up projecting his own values onto Mob, as if he could recreate a special "self" within him. He's always deriding him and baiting him and lying to him in hopes of creating a superb person that a special individual like Mob finds admirable, as if Mob is the authority on his quality of character. Sad! lol

Anyway, it adds a lot more kick to this famous line. Reigen genuinely believes in Authority

Authority works!

And if Mob (the authority on espers) doesn't work, who's the person who MUST step up to the plate [common sense]? You guessed it.

There are other aspects of Reigen's character that everyone and their dog has already picked up on (his self-loathing is the entire reason the way he talked to Mob in Confession arc hit so hard), but this one's my favourite. He's insane

#mp100 #mp100 meta #i like him a normal amount.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i’ll go see you again tomorrow (spring is coming to an end) ; sashisu

[ part i - spring ; satoru gojo ]

synopsis; a snippet of the spring you share with a certain satoru gojo, who seems intent on making your high school life as difficult as possible.

word count; 5.9k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, enemies to friends but the ’enemy’ part is kinda one-sided, wholesome n sweet overall, no curses au, gojo doesn’t know how to make friends and thinks lighthearted bullying constitutes as a bonding activity, reader doesn’t like gojo at first but dw they see the light eventually

a/n; the shoujo manga vibes are v heavy w/ this part i think. high school gojo was born to shoujo but forced to shounen </3

satoru gojo is annoying.

blunt as it may seem, it’s a conclusion you reach fairly quickly. when you first met him, you weren’t sure what to think, what to feel — a deliberate choice, on his part. looking back on it now, that’s the conclusion you come to. 

he wanted to appear unreadable. purposefully hiding his personality and mannerisms, to gain the upper hand. observing all of you, dissecting you inside his mind, while revealing nothing about himself apart from his name. it’s a kind of power, a safety measure.

not like it lasted very long, though.

evidently, holding back isn’t exactly gojo’s forte. after only a day or two, he began to show his true colours, having gotten more accustomed to the new environment and classmates — and with the revelation of his genuine personality, your unease around him festered even more.

where do you even begin to describe him? he’s childish, for one. and cocky. loud, arrogant. selfish and flamboyant. just generally an asshole. you could go on and on; none of the traits are particularly flattering, and you know he couldn’t care less.

gojo is annoying, plain and simple. almost constantly trying to pick a fight with someone, uninterested in manners or even common courtesy. he says what he feels, regardless of how other people take it. 

to put it simply, he has no regard for the people around him. his self-interest is limitless. 

gojo does have a certain presence, though. a kind of charisma, or what you think could become charisma, if he’d just get off that high horse already. he won’t, though — you know he won’t. he revels in it, in looking down on everything and everyone, annoyingly boisterous and irritatingly tall. 

most frustrating of all, however, is that his unbridled confidence isn’t exactly unwarranted.

as much as it pains you to say it, gojo is maybe just a little bit incredible. a natural-born genius, even. he’s intelligent, and observant, and awfully pretty, with those blue eyes and that snowy hair. 

and he has no issue in getting what he wants. none whatsoever.

there’s something admirable about it, in a twisted way — it’s almost like he doesn’t even need to try. he’s good at anything, if he just gives it a single chance. evidently, he’s never once given a chance to the prospect of being a decent guy, then.

effortlessly perfect, in the most imperfect of ways. that’s probably how you’d describe him.

annoying is still the most fitting word, though, undoubtedly. or maybe obnoxious. he’s got this spoiled rich kid vibe that irks you, gets under your skin. you doubt he’s ever had to empathize with anyone else in his entire life. 

really, you don’t understand how geto can put up with him. 

gojo said something to him, during your first week of school. what, you aren’t sure — probably some rude, untoward comment, something taunting. shoko told you about it, but you don’t know the details. 

what you do know is that they fought about it, physically. and that ever since then, they’ve been on a first-name basis, attached at the hip. it’s not often you see one of the two without the other. evidently, the fight brought them closer. you think they must be at least a little bit insane, but maybe that’s to be expected of kids who’d choose some weird boarding school in the middle of nowhere over a more orthodox choice. 

(not like you’re one to talk, though.)

geto is a little better than his best friend, at least. he’s polite, and relaxed, and easy to talk to, only ever annoying when gojo’s around. you don’t know how he manages to put up with him so well, but you get the sense that he’s the only one who really understands gojo. the only one who even tries to.

you haven’t even attempted to do so, yourself. fondness wasn’t something you held for him, from the very beginning, but every interaction between the two of you only serves to make him more and more insufferable in your eyes. 

gojo is annoying to basically everyone, always teasing and taunting, looking down from that high horse of his. and you’re certainly no exception — if anything, he’s even worse with you. 

you know he looks down on you, from behind those tacky sunglasses. you’re not as self-assured as your classmates, and you think he must have sensed it, the moment he laid eyes on you. that you’re a little meek, a bit of a doormat, easy to push around and get a rise out of. maybe he also noticed your apprehension towards him, your apparent unease. 

you’re easy prey, to put it simply.

so as soon as introductions were over, gojo immediately began to push at your buttons. grinning in that cocky fashion, not bothering to hide what he thought of you in the slightest. the first words that came out of his mouth when he spoke to you were rude ones, but you can’t quite recall them, muddled together with every other unneeded comment that he’s thrown your way since. 

his behavior hasn’t gotten better, even in the slightest. gojo is always teasing you, annoying you, trying to figure out what makes you tick. almost like he’s solving an equation — the equation being you, the limit of your patience. 

evidently, he’s developed a fondness for getting under your skin; it’s your own fault, really, for giving him what he wants. a scoff, a roll of your eyes, an earnest fuck right off. if you were more like shoko or geto, then maybe he’d leave you alone — if you could just brush him off, ignore him, not give him the time of day. deny him one of those reactions he loves so much. 

but you’re not shoko. and you’re not geto, either. you’re you, and you’ve always been particularly bad at hiding what you feel.

it’s not like you hate him, or anything. you really have tried to get along with him. but it’s impossible, at the end of the day. gojo is just too good at being annoying. 

and, more than anything, he’s far too out of reach. you can state his negative traits without a hitch, as well as his begrudgingly positive ones, but all of them are surface level when you get down to it. in truth, you don’t understand satoru gojo at all. 

and that suits you just fine.

you’re just gonna have to live with it. live with him, his presence in your life, disrupting what should have been your peaceful high school years. your new start. 

it sucks, but you’ve already resigned yourself to it. having to deal with him every day is annoying, yes, but what can you do? at least you get along well enough with shoko and geto. at this point, you’ve decided to treat gojo like an annoying little toddler, or an irritating pest. someone to put up with, not take seriously. 

for a pest, he’s awfully good at making you angry, though. you can never seem to maintain your composure, when he’s around. it’s not always a bad thing — the banter can be funny, sometimes. just a tiny bit. doesn’t make it any less infuriating, though.

and in the state you’re currently in, you doubt you could handle it without popping a blood vessel or two.

a heavy sigh flows from your parted lips, as you examine your blurry reflection in the mirror. fatigue clings to your skin like a layer of sweat, and your mind is muddled, stuffed with anxious thoughts you’d rather not be having. 

you feel thoroughly exhausted, completely spent. and the day’s barely begun. you didn’t get a wink of sleep last night, unable to slip into sleep’s embrace without being awoken by an abrupt nightmare. 

and it’s painfully evident. in your face, your posture. in the paleness of your skin, only making your vague eyebags more noticeable, and in the way you can’t help but drag your legs slightly as you walk. in your disheveled hair, in every sigh and grumble you let slip as you try to blink the exhaustion away. you just feel so tired, both physically and mentally. 

it could be worse, though. you don’t have any classes today, at the very least. it would’ve been an actual nightmare, in the state you’re currently in; having to stay up, take notes and listen to yaga drone on and on. you like your teacher, you really do, but sometimes his lectures can be just a little bit tedious.

the only reason you even bother to leave your dorm at all, in such a restless state, is so you can grab some breakfast. if you’re lucky, maybe it’ll make you feel a little less like a walking train wreck.

with that thought in mind, you make your way to the dormitory’s shared kitchen, enjoying the sight of the cherry blossoms through the windows you pass.

you’ll manage, somehow. your morning couldn’t possibly get any worse, after all.

when you enter the space, you’re relieved to find it completely devoid of people. no shoko, no geto, or even gojo. running into the first two wouldn’t be the end of the world, but it still wouldn’t be ideal. you don’t really want anyone seeing you like this — tired, meek, somewhat vulnerable.

least of all gojo. you shiver at the bare thought.

with laboured, groggy movements, you move around the kitchen, getting cups and plates and turning on the coffee machine. the sizzling of the pan creates a soothing melody, pleasant to your ears, as you quickly make a lazy breakfast to wolf down. 

when it’s finished, you waste no time in taking a seat by one of the tables; eager to enjoy the peace and quiet, at last.

but, as always, the world seems to have it out for you specifically.

”oh? well, look who it is. and here i thought you had left, too.”

you stiffen. ever so slightly, barely noticeable, but still enough that you physically feel the dread envelop every single cell of your body. the voice that echoes across the open space is a chipper one. one you recognize. one you were desperately hoping not to hear today. 

inwardly wincing, all you can do is continue to idly sip from your cup of coffee, silently going through all five stages of grief before accepting your unfortunate predicament. 

that’s just your luck, isn’t it?

resigned to the sight you know you’ll see when you raise your head, you do just that — and, lo and behold, there he is.

gojo looks the same as always. grinning brightly, wearing those ugly sunglasses, making his way across the room like he owns it. a trait you can’t help but admire, envy, as he plops down next to you like it’s nothing. unconcerned about you or your concept of personal space.

”whatcha up to?” he chirps, in a sugar sweet tone, layered over with a boyish kind of excitement. there’s that teasing tilt of his, too, the one that always accompanies his voice when he’s speaking to you.

usually, hearing him speak in such an irritating fashion would’ve put you off. maybe you would’ve given him an apprehensive look, or tried to sound unbothered when answering his inquiry — that usually only makes him more intent on annoying you, but you just never seem to learn. 

in your current state, though, you can’t muster up anything of the sort. you’re too tired, too anxious. you just want to sleep. 

and yet, despite your best wishes, here he is; satoru gojo, in all his glory, ruining your hopes of what could have been a peaceful breakfast. you can’t even bring yourself to get mad. today, you just don’t have the energy to deal with him at all.

when you glance his way, your eyes meet, for a second — not like you can actually see them, from behind his sunglasses, but you know they’re there. menacing and uncanny. bright and excited. 

you allow your gaze to linger at him for a brief moment, before trailing back to your plate. ”morning,” is all you manage to mutter, before taking a tentative bite of your sandwich. 

gojo blinks.

he immediately notes that your voice sounds meek. even more so than usual. and it’s a little confusing — he expected you to give him a scoff, or even just a timid huff. but no such luck. you’re just sitting there, quiet, curling into yourself.

so, after a moment’s consideration, gojo opts to look at you. to really look at you, studying your face, the way your fingers move to curl around the ceramic handle of your cup. he’s always been observant, but it doesn’t take a genius to see that you’re tired. 

you look out of it, plain and simple. eyes unfocused as you stare into space. gojo is silent for no more than a mere moment, contemplating his next course of action. he’s never seen you like this, before. 

did something happen?

— well, it doesn’t matter. not his problem.

”you look like a zombie,” he grins, teasingly, showing off the white of his teeth.

despite the oddity of your behavior, he can’t hold it back — despite his own intuition, telling him to let you be. he can’t help it. you’re just too fun to tease. 

suguru or shoko just raise their eyebrows at him, or stare him down like a misbehaving dog — but you always have a good reaction to give. something to entertain him when he’s bored, or something to distract him when his mind is too full of noise. 

so he can’t help but tease you, a little. hoping it’ll soothe the restlessness in his chest.

— but for once, what gojo expects isn’t what he gets. 

he expects you to glare at him, or tell him to leave you alone, or even just sigh in exasperation. either one would be fine. it’s just mindless enjoyment, to him, a little fun to lighten up his day. 

especially now, when suguru is away on some day trip he wasn’t privy to. traitor, is all he can think. and shoko is nowhere to be seen, either. probably off smoking in some random alleyway, listening to one of her weird indie bands.

the whole dorm is so eerily quiet.

(gojo would never admit it, not in a thousand years, but maybe it’d be just a little bit lonely without any of you around.)

for a while, he assumed he’d have to spend the whole day alone. but then he entered the kitchen, and lo and behold; there you were, his saving grace. his dear old irritable little classmate. 

a great relief overtook him, when he set his sights on you. oh, thank god — he thought he was going to die of boredom. but with you at school, too, his day is saved. now he can push your buttons to his heart’s content, bask in your playful banter until suguru gets back.

— only this time, you don’t react at all. 

you don’t give him what he expects, don’t indulge his little antics, in the way he’s grown so accustomed to. all you do is continue to eat your breakfast, and drink your coffee, in silence. intent on gulping it all down quickly, so you can leave. 

gojo’s words aren’t even irritating to you, right now. barely even a hassle. you honestly can’t be bothered with him at all; he can say what he wants, you don’t care. even mustering up the energy to get annoyed feels like too much for your sleep-deprived brain.

gojo waits, for just a couple moments more. hoping for a delayed reaction, a witty counter, a snarky comment. anything. 

but it never comes.

finally, he starts to sulk. ever so slightly, slumping against the leather seat behind him, quieting down with a low huff. furrowing his brows as his lips curl down into a soft pout.

god — just what is your problem? what is with you, today? it’s no fun if you don’t play along. 

gojo can’t help but grumble a little, under his breath. you’re usually so responsive, so easy to rile up. so what’s wrong? why are you just sitting there?

whatever. he doesn’t care. not even a little bit. so what if you’re not talking to him? like he cares enough to be bothered by it. gojo has better things to do, bigger fish to fry. he wasn’t even that excited, when he saw you. the thought of bantering with you didn’t lift his spirits, even in the slightest. not one bit.

(he hadn’t realized he’d begun to look forward to your interactions so much.)

but, really — come on. would it take so much effort to just say something? to just respond to his friendly little quip? you can’t possibly be that tired. 

or what, did you get insecure, or something? because he called you a zombie? no way. you’re not that sensitive. right? or is that it? what a hassle.

you know he’s just messing with you. so why are you acting so…. 

(sad, gojo wants to think, but he buries the thought before it has a chance to reach his frontal cortex. he doesn’t want to empathize with you. that’d just be too troublesome.)

nonetheless, a strange frustration bubbles up in his chest. at your lack of reaction, the weak glint in your eyes. he just doesn’t understand why — and that frustrates him even more. 

why can’t you just bite back, like always?

it’s fun when you do.

the silence lingers on, stretching out as you gulp down your food while gojo keeps on sulking. he’s still just sitting beside you, waiting for something to happen. he briefly considers getting up and leaving, or saying something annoying to hopefully spur you on —

but you stand up before he can convince himself to go through with either option.

having finished your breakfast, your legs carry you to the sink. finally, you can head back to your room. gojo’s being weirdly quiet, you can’t help but notice; it’s kind of hard not to, with how loud he usually is. 

but you pay no mind to it, methodically washing your dishes in silence. deciding not to dwell on it. it’s a rare opportunity, after all, one you’d be foolish not to enjoy it while it lasts. you don’t bother saying goodbye to him, either, as he sits there. still deep in thought and grumbling curses under his breath. 

he watches you as you leave, gaze trailing after your form until you’re completely out of sight. 

then he lays down, flat on his back, with a frustrated huff. trying desperately to brush away the memory of your dim eyes, the slight frown on your lips. the dark circles under your eyes, that he tried not to notice because they made him feel so weirdly uncomfortable. the meek look you gave him.

gojo sighs.

(he feels just a tiny, tiny bit bad.)

when you wake up from your slumber, you immediately note that your body feels lighter.

no nightmares came to haunt you, this time. you practically collapsed once your head hit the pillow, finally giving you some peace of mind, and some well needed rest. maybe having breakfast really did help.

with a groan, you lazily stretch out your limbs, gaze falling on the clock on your wall. you’ve only been asleep for about two hours, or so, but it’s more than you got last night. 

what to do, what to do. you still have the whole day ahead of you. another nap wouldn’t hurt, but you don’t want to waste your precious free time by just rotting in bed. maybe you can take a walk around the schoolyard? the cherry blossoms have started to unfurl, and it’s a beautiful sight — perfect to enjoy on a day like this, framed by the blue of the sky.

it’s a pleasing mental image. enough to have you changing into some light and comfortable clothes, intent on seeing the idea through, before you reach a hand out to push the door open.

as you do so, something is knocked over.

a soft little thud, accompanied by the sensation of collision between the door and something else. that’s all you hear, all you feel. 

with a low curiosity simmering in your eyes, you exit the room, eagerly peeking around for a look at the mysterious something.

as you do so, your gaze falls on something pink.

it’s tiny, awfully out of place as it lays on the floor. crouching down to examine it further, you recognize it immediately; a small carton of strawberry milk, with a plastic straw plastered on its side. one of the items sold in the schoolyard’s vending machines. 

you drink it fairly often, every time you need a small pick-me-up. the sweet taste always succeeds in soothing your spirits.

and it was sitting right outside your door.

you stare at it in contemplation, holding it in your hand as the gears turn silently in your head. that’s weird. did someone drop it? no, that’s dumb — who’d drop it right outside your door and then not pick it up?

did someone leave it for you, then? because they know you like it? that could be it, maybe, but who would —

….

your mind stills. 

the idea is odd, to say the very least. so odd that a part of you doesn’t even want to entertain it. but despite your inherent denial, it’s the most reasonable conclusion to arrive at. after all, neither shoko nor geto are there — and that just leaves one possible culprit.

why would he do something like that, though? he doesn’t like you, you know that. so there’s no way — right?

… then again, you have seen him drink it. both of you seem to like it, contrary to your classmates; shoko doesn’t like sweet things in general, and geto doesn’t go for strawberry milk if he can choose something else. honestly, it might be the only thing you and gojo have in common, the one thing that binds you two together. a single carton of strawberry milk. it’s almost comical.

(you wonder why he did it, if it’s really true. you wonder if he noticed that you were feeling under the weather, and figured it’d make you happy. 

you wonder if it’d be foolish of you to believe that it’s true, if only because you like the idea.)

your feet move on their own, before your mind has a chance to question the decision. where could he be, you wonder? in the kitchen? in his dorm?

just as the question enters your subconscious, a flash of white crosses your vision. as you absently glance out the window, you see it; white, soft hair, like a fluffy cloud in the midst of all the pink petals fluttering about. 

you stop, and then begin walking once more. with more decision.

gojo is sitting right outside the dormitory, on a wooden bench, legs swinging as he gazes up at the sky. his hair sways slightly with the breeze, soft strands moving and caressing his skin. 

the air is filled with pink petals, gracefully descending down to the ground, together with a trail of bubbles. gojo is blowing them, haphazardly, following their movement with his keen eyes. they glimmer in the sunlight, reflecting all shades of the rainbow.

the sight is just a little bit breathtaking. 

the ground crunches beneath your feet, when you take a step forward — and gojo turns towards you. you stiffen like a deer in headlights. it was almost on impulse that you walked over to him, but now that you’re face to face, it’s a little nerve-racking.

still, it’s far too late to back out now. there’s not much to do except join him. so that’s exactly what you eventually do, albeit a little hesitantly.

attempting to ignore his continuous stare, burning into the side of your head, you plop down beside him. an uncomfortable silence lingers in the air around you both, as he waits for you to say something. 

mustering up the courage to do so is tough, though. the decisiveness you felt when you decided to go see him has faded, now only the ghost of a sensation — you’re somewhat nervous to verbalize what was on your mind when you made the decision.

but eventually, you force yourself to speak. hoping you won’t come to regret it.

”… hey, gojo?” you start, softly, not looking at him. gaze glued on the cherry trees. but you know his eyes are still on you; you can feel them, and their weight.

the carton of strawberry milk is in your right hand, and you raise it up, faintly. to get his attention. then you look over at him, not quite managing to give him a smile, but you try your best to look somewhat appreciative. 

”thanks.”

a confused blink. gojo looks down the strawberry milk, and then back at you. eyelashes fluttering.

a moment passes. then he turns his head away, swiftly. his hair is tousled by the movement, a couple pink petals stuck between the soft strands. you can’t see his face anymore.

”i don’t know what you mean,” he huffs, with a voice you’ve never heard from him. he sounds almost embarrassed. 

upon closer inspection, you think the tips of his ears may be just slightly red. a smile finds its way onto your lips, unbeknownst to you — like this, he’s actually kind of cute. denying your implication, when it’s so obvious. 

some part of you was still a little unsure, but gojo’s embarrassment basically confirms it. 

(maybe he’s not as bad as you thought.)

cherry blossoms flutter in the wind, dancing joyously, without a care in the world. a spring breeze ruffles gojo’s hair, as he sits beside you, having begun to blow bubbles again. not saying a word, and looking straight ahead. but can’t help but stare at him, a little.

you find yourself thinking that he looks right at home, among the petals. they’re fleeting, hard to get a grasp on. pretty, and so out of reach, despite being so close. 

you could reach over and touch him right now, if you wanted to. you could reach for his sunglasses, lift them off his face, and finally see those eyes he’s so intent on hiding. you could see him, see straight into his soul, and find out who he really is.

you won’t, though. some boundaries aren’t meant to be so callously crossed.

instead, you puncture the pink carton in your hand with the plastic straw, and take a tentative sip. the sweet taste soothes you almost immediately; you can’t help but sigh, softly, relaxing a little further. it’s absolutely perfect, for this kind of weather. the sight before you, cherry petals and shining bubbles. a boy you don’t like, but definitely don’t hate, either.

you both look up, following the bubbles with your eyes as they float up into the sky. as they get smaller and smaller, farther and farther out of reach. neither of you say a word, but the silence is comforting. light. 

gojo is the first one to break it, surprisingly, in a voice so small you barely hear it.

”you don’t look like a zombie.”

a second passes. the statement catches you off guard, and you’re left blinking in confusion, trying to decipher it. 

unable to resist the temptation, you decide to look over at him. with his eyes conveniently hidden behind his sunglasses, you can’t get a good read on his expression; he’s regained his composure, then.

it takes a couple seconds for his words to sink in — but once they do, all pieces seem to fall into place. 

is that why he got you the drink? 

you just can’t help it. you laugh, lightly, and this time it’s gojo who’s left confused.

”did —” you wheeze, softly, voice thoroughly amused. almost fond. you try to bite back the laughter, but it’s tough. ”did you think i was bothered by that, or something?”

gojo looks at you, for a brief moment. a little stunned. the sight only makes your smile grow even further, as you meet his gaze, eyes crinkled. you really aren’t trying to tease him — it’s just so funny to you. so endearing. 

from the angle you’re viewing him through, as you lean back against the bench, you catch a glimmer of his eyes at last. they’re awfully pretty. blue and bright, full of life. when you look closer, you can see tiny, white splotches of colour in them. 

they look like the blue sky. 

you called them menacing, before, uncanny, but now you don’t think that’s quite true. they’re awfully soft, in the sunlight. especially when viewed like this, right after catching him slightly off guard. it’s a rare moment, terribly precious.

gojo doesn’t let it linger, though — the moment only lasts for a second or two. 

then he scoffs, abruptly, turning away yet again. you swear that he’s pouting, a little, even if he’s trying to sound annoyed and nothing more.

”obviously not,” he huffs, sounding irritated as he rests his jaw on the heel of his palm. ”but with how sensitive you are, i wouldn’t be surprised.”

usually, a comment like that would irk you, and you’d bite back. but now it just makes you giggle, lightheartedly. the tips of his ears turn red, again, at the sound. 

yeah. he’s really not so bad, after all.

for a while, you don’t say anything else, afraid of ruining the tender atmosphere. you feel closer to gojo than you ever have before, and you wonder if maybe this is the gojo that geto sees; childish, but well meaning. arrogant and cocky, but oddly innocent. selfish — but not really. you may have been slightly off, with that one.

the strawberry milk on your tongue tastes sweet, sweeter than usual.

”hey,” you break the silence, surprising even yourself. the words fall from your lips like soft little breaths, rolling off your tongue like marbles pouring out of a glass bottle. ”i don’t dislike you, you know?”

it’s an impulsive admission. saying it out loud doesn’t feel wrong, though. maybe a little humiliating, sure, but not wrong. they’re honest words, after all.

you suspect gojo may be looking at you, out of the corner of his eye, but you’re not sure. after all, you’re not looking at him, either — that’d feel a little too embarrassing.

he doesn’t quite know how to respond. you’re being strangely unpredictable, today, and it makes him feel a little unsure of himself. your tone is so soft. almost friendly. he only ever hears it when you’re talking to shoko, or geto.

not learning his lesson, gojo opts to tease you, as always. he can’t let the silence linger for too long. it’s a halfhearted attempt, though — more of a vaguely amused huff than anything. 

”what, got a crush on me or somethin’?”

this time, you don’t scoff, or roll your eyes, or give him an earnest fuck right off. you just chuckle, in a way that almost borders on fond. you’re not one to tease, contrary to the boy on your left, but your words are teasing even still. ”i have better taste than that.” 

gojo should be irked, should grumble and shoot something back, but you don’t give him the chance to. 

”i just… you know,” you mumble, tasting the words on your tongue. ”i still think you’re annoying. and childish.” gojo huffs, and your lips curl up. ”but i really don’t dislike you.”

you take a sip of the strawberry milk, before continuing, hoping it’ll make the words easier to say. ”and it’s not like i know you, anyway. so i’m sorry for making a bunch of assumptions.” 

a pause. for a split second, you quiet down, a little embarrassed. ”… that’s all i wanted to say,” you exhale, gaze glued to your lap.

as always, you can’t tell what gojo’s thinking. out of the corner of your eye, you try to catch a glimpse of his face, but you have a nagging suspicion that it wouldn’t tell you anything anyway. his eyes are hidden by those sunglasses, after all, acting as a wall between him and the rest of the world. so you don’t know if the words reach him, if they mean anything at all. 

but you hope they do. even as you brush cherry petals and non-existent dust from your lap, and get up to leave.

gojo just sits there, for a second, deep in contemplation. 

he tries to bury a certain thought, before it has a chance to reach his frontal cortex, before he has to accept that it exists — only this time, he doesn’t succeed. 

the words die before they reach his tongue, but he hears them, in his head. and begrudgingly has to accept their existence, after all.

(i don’t really dislike you, either.) 

what actually ends up leaving the confines of his throat is merely a scoff, so faint he doubts you even hear it. ”whatever,” he mutters, hoping it’ll come across as cool and unbothered.

the gruff sound strikes you as just slightly flustered. one last smile reaches your face, before you head back inside. gojo stays behind, on the bench, lost in thought.

you toss the now-empty carton into a trash can, dismissing the stray thought of keeping it as a memento of the interaction. that’d just be creepy. you are happy, though. you feel as if you’ve reached something, the start of an eventual conclusion. something worth cherishing.

you still don’t understand satoru gojo. you get the impression that you just grew a little bit closer to him, though.

there are layers to him, more than what meets the eye. hidden behind those sunglasses of his. you can only imagine what the world might look like, from his perspective. what you look like, reflected in his eyes. 

you feel a little ashamed, for thinking you had him all figured out. a spoiled, self-centered rich kid, with no functional empathic abilities — it might be partially true, but you’ll have to reevaluate the statement, to see how well it holds up. 

the lacking empathic abilities, especially. you still don’t think his emotional intelligence is anything to gawk at, but you may have been underestimating it, a little bit. it’s there, despite everything. in those eyes, in that carton of strawberry milk.

you think there’s a certain maturity, there, in spite of his childishness. or perhaps the latter is no more than a product of the former, a way for damaged children to dress their wounds. the way he carries himself and the way he speaks both seem a bit forced. like he’s used to performing, used to moving in a way that demands attention. 

all eyes on him, at all times. you think that sounds just a tad exhausting. 

as you return to the safety of your room, you still can’t help but ponder. there’s so much you don’t know. despite the moment you shared, and the connection you think may be growing between you, he’s still so out of reach. 

(almost lonely, in a way.)

you wonder what he’s like when he’s alone, when there’s no one around to perform for. what is an actor without their audience?

you don’t understand satoru gojo, not really. not at all, not in the slightest.

but you think you’d maybe like to.

part 0

#i wrote this part a pretty long time ago so tbh i dont think my writing is. v good. but hopefully itll get better by the end LMAO #i love hs gojo soo much hes so cute. so shoujo manga ml. n hes so fun to write in a no curses au #i just feel like gojo is such a gift giver. physically cant apologize but throws ur fave bag of chips at ur head n acts like it wasnt him #hes so silly <33 #next part will b geto’s!!! but itll prob take a while bc my geto bias needs it to be Flawless #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader

[pikahlua]

Look, I don’t wanna get everyone’s hopes up, but I might have to get everyone’s hopes up

My initial thoughts on chapter 395 were to be enveloped in the tragedy of this ending. I could already tell some of the criticisms that would come at it, but I was also interested in thoroughly considering the chapter as fairly as possible. Whether or not it involves stale tropes, such tropes still have the potential to bring meaning and emotion--and to be honest, MHA has been pretty good at that since the get-go. The manga is pretty much defined by refreshing and playing with stale shounen tropes. I am willing to give this chapter as-is a chance. I comforted friends who were hit hard by the chapter. I allowed myself to feel the sorrow ushered in by Himiko Toga’s chosen end.

But then I started translating the chapter, and my melancholy didn’t last fucking long.

Because...I’m gonna be real with you, there are a LOT of questions this chapter raises, but only if you’re paying attention.

So like.

Look.

I don’t wanna get your hopes up.

Himiko Toga may really be dead.

I don’t actually know how this will all play out.

But...

LET ME TELL YOU WHY THIS IS SUS AS HELL

1. Hello???

Why is the All Might doll coming into play here, now?

And uh, where did it go????

I don’t see it anywhere! Is it...still in the same hand Himiko was holding it with?

Is THAT why we’re zooming in here on the final panel?

“Why does it matter?” you may ask. “Isn’t it just a symbol of the connection between these two girls once Himiko found where Ochako was hiding it and teased her about it? Isn’t this perhaps just Himiko’s way of comforting Ochako?”

“Hm, yes, interesting,” I would reply. “But DON’T YOU WHO THE FUCK I AM?”

This is the second time All Might merchandise is appearing in a supposed death scene! Is it mere coincidence? I THINK NOT.

I mean, we haven’t had a SINGLE update on Katsuki for a year now. (UNLESS WE JUST GOT ONE?) Could it be Horikoshi was holding off on any Katsuki updates to avoid spoiling something else that needed to happen first? Specifically Ochako vs Toga?

Because if there’s ANYTHING fishy going on with that card and that doll (and boy do I smell fish), Katsuki’s storyline would not be able to progress until AFTER the doll also came into play. AND NOW IT HAS.

2. Of course my first thought was Katsuki Bakugou, don’t tell me you’re actually surprised...

There are a LOT of weird parallels between Ochako and Himiko’s fight and...whatever the hell is going on with Izuku and Katsuki just in general. But I mean, just look at Katsuki. Compare that wound to Ochako’s. Compare Ochako’s imminent death to Katsuki.

And...compare Himiko Toga to Katsuki Bakugou however many ways you like.

But most importantly...compare Himiko Toga to Izuku Midoriya.

Because Ochako was on the verge of death, and Himiko Toga sacrifices herself to save Ochako. Yeah, you can compare that to Katsuki in chapter 362. But like, Katsuki is the one on the verge of death now, right? That would make him parallel to Ochako (especially since they’re the ones with the All Might merch). That would mean Izuku could do something similar to save Katsuki.

And please, please note how Himiko performed this rescue. She became Ochako. She became compatible with Ochako, started pumping Ochako’s same blood through her own veins, hooked them up so not only was Himiko supporting Ochako’s life, THEY WERE CONNECTED AS ONE PERSON.

Are YOU getting Heroes Rising vibes? Because I’m definitely getting Heroes Rising vibes.

3. Remember, Horikoshi said this ending would be better than Heroes Rising.

Izuku and Katsuki shared OFA in the ending of Heroes Rising.

Let us not forget the ever-present nomenclature of One For All and All For One.

What could be better than a team-up of two people?

Maybe...a merging of everyone?

4. Everyone is down

Himiko and Ochako and Katsuki aren’t the only ones down. Basically EVERYONE is.

Shouto, Endeavor, Touya, Hawks, Tokoyami, Spinner, most everyone at the UA battlefield, most everyone at the Gunga battlefield, basically most everyone who isn’t AFO, All Might, Izuku, and Tomura (and maybe a few UA kids).

Actually, speaking of UA kids, why haven’t we seen Aoyama and Sero and the others yet? Could it be that Horikoshi just wanted to showcase the most important part of their fights, aka the ending?

The ending where they all fall over and pass out or die too?

Why is everyone fucking dead?

Because something big is going to happen to them all after they pass out???

I mean, maybe???

Even if that’s the case, I have no idea how many people will actually be part of this union or revival or whatever the fuck happens. I just...I do notice that heroes and villains both are dropping like flies.

WHAT IS THIS LEADING TO?

5. The story of how we all became the greatest heroes

So once upon a time I wrote a tiny meta about the infamous line from the first chapter, “This is the story of how I became the greatest hero.”

Basically, it occurred to me that it’s very strange for the narrator to “spoil the ending” of the story in the first chapter. Where’s the dramatic tension? Why even do that?

Well, the obvious answer is: it wasn’t a spoiler. Perhaps it meant something else than what it seemed at first glance.

I realized “hero” in Japanese could be both singular and plural. Thus, I conceived that the true message was: “This is the story of how I became ONE OF the greatest heroes.“

Chapter 324 basically confirmed that theory.

But...what if it’s still wrong?

What if there’s ANOTHER hidden message in the line?

What if it’s something like: “This is the story of how I became a part of the greatest hero.” Singular. Purposefully.

What if EVERYONE becomes the greatest HERO literally. What if...everyone merges to create...All Might?

And then I saw all the vestiges rebelling inside AFO and thought:

Oh god this actually seems plausible now.

So here’s the good news for Himiko...

There was, in fact, a chapter titled “The Story of How We All Became Heroes, Part Minus 1.”

Maybe everyone becomes heroes together. Maybe they all literally become one hero together. Either way, Himiko was highlighted in a chapter with a title that specifically implied she would be part of whatever the fuck happens.

Sure, this chapter COULD BE Himiko’s heroic moment. But...I don’t know man. We got SO MANY CHAPTERS with this title. It’s SCREAMING some sort of plot twist is on the way...!

6. Ochako is ALSO supposed to be part of this “greatest hero” business too!

Finally, can we just...remember how Ochako was inspired to save people? She held Sir Nighteye in her arms as he died, and that��s when she knew she wanted to save people.

Himiko dying here on Ochako’s watch...idk mannnnn, has Ochako really proven that she’s achieved her goal yet? Can she really be part of the greatest heroes like this?

#my hero academia manga spoilers #final showdown spoilers #himiko toga #katsuki bakugou #ochako uraraka #literally everyone tag everyone here #theory #meta #look DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP #because then if this does happen you can be pleasantly surprised #and if this doesn't happen you won't all stick my head on a pike #see? everyone wins that way #but also maybe we don't come to any conclusions about himiko's end just yet

[grassbreads]

I’d love to know about Yulma and how important it is to representation in shounen manga

This has been sitting in my askbox for a couple months (because I am incapable of punctuality), but anon sent this to me back when I was talking about Yulma over on my vnc blog. For those unaware, Yulma refers to Yu Kanda and Alma Karma from the manga D.Gray-man.

So the thing is, to be honest, I don't know if you can say Yulma is/was important for representation. They don't tend to get brought up as an example of representation (except by diehard d.gray-man fans like me, lol) in shonen, and their whole thing is complicated enough that I feel like the queerness of it all flies over a lot of people's heads.

However! They're very important to me personally, and I do think it's kind of remarkable their story came out in like 2010. Because even though their queerness gets overlooked a lot, it's like. really there no matter how you interpret it.

The short version of their very complicated story is that Kanda and Alma are a couple who were resurrected into new bodies. Alma was a woman when they were originally together in their past lives, but is physically male in the present. Kanda is still very much in love with them by the end of their story, which, depending on the reading, makes Kanda very bi and/or Alma very trans.

This sound like something you want details on? If so, let's talk about how D.Gray-man's fan favorite edgy badass toughguy character briefly became the star of his very own heart-wrenching tragic queer romance.

Here's a brief crash course in Yu Kanda and Dgm for the uninitiated:

D.Gray-man is a manga about a group of exorcists (in the loosest and most anime sense of the term) in the 1890s fighting a holy war against mechanical demons powered by the souls of the dead. There are two things you need to understand about this plot for me to explain Yulma:

The Black Order, the secret branch of the church that exorcists work for, has a long history of committing horrific human experiments to further the war effort.

Due to complications of world building, only a tiny number of people can become exorcists, and tracking down new ones is extremely difficult.

Yu Kanda is one of the exorcists, and though not the actual main character (that's the lad in my icon), he's a very important secondary character. Arguably he's the most important secobdary character, since he's the main guy's biggest foil and the first character to play deuteragonist in a major story arc. He's also a huge fan favorite. The character popularity polls that Jump used to do always had him and the mc going back and forth over who won #1 most popular.

Kanda was also a classic edgy toughguy character. His first two scenes are him almost murdering the main guy because he thinks he's an intruder, then complaining about people grieving for their friend too loudly. He never smiles. He argues with the righteous mc about wasting time/energy protecting civilians. He threatens (and delivers) violence on anyone that annoys him. He looks like this:

TLDR; Kanda was an adored-by-fans mean badass archetype in a 2000s shonen manga. Not generally the guy you peg for starring in a piece of queer romantic storytelling.

And for the entirety of the original anime adaptation's 103 episode run, for the first 188ish chapters of the manga, you do not learn a single thing about his early life. You learn he joined the Black Order very young, and you meet the mentor that took him in at that point, but although there are little hints, a couple cryptic mentions of him searching for a certain person, his early origins remain a complete black box.

Then came the Alma Karma arc.

This is the point where I start getting into spoilers.

To make a very long story short, the Alma Karma arc reveals that Kanda is one of the Black Order's human experiments. The Order ran a secret project 9ish years before the start of the series in which they essentially tried to re-use dying exorcists (since finding new ones is so hard). They took the bodies of dying or recently deceased exorcists and harvested their brains, implanting those brains into new magically grown child bodies.

Key to this project—the second exorcist project—is that these newly grown second exorcists were not supposed to remember anything from their previous lives. Kanda, however, recovered a few hazy memories from his past self. Most importantly, he can recall an unclear image of the woman that his past self was in love with. This memory gradually becomes Kanda's reason to live. He wants desperately to find and meet that person.

Now, aside from Kanda, there was one other successfully revived second exorcist. This was a boy named Alma Karma.

Over the course of their brief shared childhood, Kanda and Alma become extremely close. However, due to a series of horrible events that I'll spare you the details of, Alma is eventually driven to murder-suicide. He wants himself and Kanda to die together to spite the Order, and Kanda almost lets him do it.

The one thing that keeps Kanda from letting Alma kill him, the thing that drives him instead to kill Alma, his most beloved and only friend, is that he can't bear to die without finding that woman again.

Have you figured out the twist yet?

9 years later, in the present, Kanda discovers that he didn't actually quite kill Alma. The Order kept Alma secretly half-alive in order to do more dubious experiments. And, more importantly, when they meet again, Kanda discovers the truth. The woman that he's been searching for his whole life, the woman he's in love with, the woman he tried to kill Alma in order to find, was also killed and made into a second exorcist. And her brain was placed into the body of Alma Karma.

After quite a lot more violence and tragedy, Kanda and Alma end their story arc by running away together on their deathbeds. Alma dies, for real this time, in Kanda's arms, and his last words are to tell Kanda he loves him. These words are presented as something Kanda hears from both the boy and woman versions of Alma's soul.

So! At the end of a very long and complicated story, one thing holds true: Kanda and Alma are in love. As passed down from their past selves, they are specifically in romantic love. They were a couple. And to speak as a fan, the sheer absolute devotion to how Kanda's love for Alma is presented is seriously intense and moving.

Now, given the absolute hell that is Alma's life, gender identity is frankly the last thing they have time to worry about, so it's hard to say how the whole "literally a woman's brain in a male body" thing might have settled for them if given time to think about it. But that is inherently a pretty trans narrative. And given the whole Alma gender situation, there's simply no reading of their whole situation where neither of them is queer.

If you take present day Alma as a guy, which is more or less how he's presented in canon (though again, who knows how he would've felt about that male body in different circumstances), then congratulations! You've got mlm in your shonen manga. They were straight in a different life, but now one of them's a dude, and they are still deeply in love with each other. They've even got not one but two "let's forget it all and run away together" scenes, just as every mlm couple seems to have.

On the other hand, if you go with the angle that Alma's still a woman based on her mind/soul, even in her new body, then Kanda may not be canonically queer, but Alma is inarguably trans. Again, literally a woman's brain in a male body. It may not be how most people end up trans, but that doesn't change the facts of her situation.

You see what I mean about how they're undeniably queer, but also kind of easy to miss? There's so much other insane shit going on in their story that Alma's whole gender situation can get passed over. Plus, you can look online to this day and find people arguing that Kanda's not "technically" explicitly in love with the present day male version of Alma, since he doesn't 100% unambiguously say as much. I love reading comprehension.

Also! As a possible extra reason for why people don't talk about them much, the official English translation of the manga translated Alma's final "I love you" very differently. There's always a lot of nuance and argument when it comes to translating "大好き" into English, but given the full context of their relationship and the scene it's in, Viz's handling really sets off the censorship bells in my head.

Here's the different versions (Japanese then fan then official), if you want to compare:

Nothing more classically queer than censorship by way of questionable translation 🙃.

At the end of the day, Kanda and Alma are in kind of a strange middle ground. They're each in love with the other one, but the whole second exorcist brain transfer situation makes it complicated enough that people argue their feelings aren't explicitly romantic (and thus not gay) in the present. Alma is literally a woman's brain implanted in a male body, but we don't have time to dwell on the gender complications of all that because of the hell that is the rest of their life. They're canon but not canon—queer people whose stories don't have space for them to be queer.

However, given that all this messy, tragic ambiguity was published in a fairly popular shonen manga back in 2010, it still feels kind of remarkable to me. Alma is somewhat an antagonist (it's complicated), and he dies at the end of his arc, but once again, Kanda was/is the fan favorite! And when he re-enters the main story after Alma's death, he's more important than he's ever been, and his history with Alma continues to be a huge part of his character.

Katsura Hoshino took the much-beloved edgy toughguy character from her long-running shonen series and, after keeping his origins secret for such a long time, confirmed that his whole life has revolved around love this entire time. Almost every facet of his character can be traced back to his love for his lost best friend or his yearning for his past life's missing partner. And then she reveals that the best friend and the partner are one and the same.

You can go back and forth about the degree to which they work as representation, but in any case, I think their story is something people ought to know about. It's romantic and it's heart-wrenching and it's fucking wild, especially given the context in which it was published (a Shonen Jump spinoff in 2010). I never see anyone besides the few remaining hardcore dgm fans talk about them, and I think that's a shame.

So anyway, that's tale of one of the most insanity-inducing romances I've ever seen put to paper. I love queer people.

Here's some choice pages if you want to cry with me (the last two are a sequence):

#followers!! I know my demographic #I know that most of y'all are Tragic Queer Romance Enjoyers #and if that describes you. you should read this post #come learn about a truly wild piece of manga history #I bring you the gift of discovering Yulma without having to read almost 200 chapters of shonen manga for context #don't pass this up <3 #dgm #d.gray-man #yu kanda #yulma #alma karma #invasion of the frogs #also I really hope that at least one of the besties reads this and has a Realization about who/what my queue tag is a reference to #maybe I flatter myself to think that anyone remembers what my queue tag is. but I just think it would be funny <3 #also also. I really did not intend for this post to turn into an entire essay when I started writing it #so uh. whoops #ID in alt text #anon #ask

[centrally-unplanned]

Watched a bunch of stuff last night, including the Alita OVA from 1993! I thought it was a lot of fun, the thoughts:

--- It did the "obvious" thing of adapting the romance arc with Yugo of Volume 2 as the core, while blending in the events of Volume 1 as sort of backstory and setup as opposed to their own story. This arc is Alita at her most humanized in the early parts of the manga, and its the plot that centers Zalem as the untouchable overlord city most effectively. Any short adaptation is gonna choose this - part of why James Cameron (lol) did the same thing!

--- Speaking of, the manga does not actually have any particular focus on Alita's eyes, but the anime definitely has more than one shot where it establishes them as thematically special. Given that the James Cameron film is famous for going full CGI on Alita's eyes, and he knows about the property from Guillermo del Toro passing him the OVA as opposed to the manga, I think I can see the chain of events that lead to that (ill-fated?) decision.

Her eyes are pretty amazing in the OVA, so I get it! As my previous reblogs showed lol.

--- I think I can break apart the manga into three "concepts": the setting as cyberpunk dystopia, Alita as a character dealing with identity issues as an amnesiatic combat robot, and shounen fighting & levelling arcs. The OVA heavily focuses on the first part, ditching almost all the shounen stuff - its fight scenes are quick and focus on violence & bodily destruction over strength or "fighting techniques", etc. This is great for me, obviously! But it also, almost accidentally, ditches most of her identity issues? Because its less than an hour long, and needs to do a ton of worldbuilding - including even adding in a new character from Zalem to help with that - and is doing Yugo's entire arc, you really don't have time left for Alita's struggles. Yugo actually gets more "inner depth" than she does! She commits to being a bounty hunter, then after that she is pretty much just In Love while Yugo goes through his detailing of his past and collapse.

I'm not saying it doesn't work, it does as a story. Just interesting for something that is known as very "protagonist associated" to have an OVA where she is barely the protagonist.

--- While no Urotsukidoji or anything, this is another one of those OVAs where its reputation, particularly in the west, is as a hyper-violent, gory OVA? And like so many it really isn't. People get decapitated, don't get me wrong, buts its never lingers on those moments. Instead they serve as tone setters for the crapsack world or just are part of the action sequences.

I think in general the OVA era rarely made horror/gore films the way some other mediums/industries did? There are exceptions of course but in the end anime is trying to do too many other things; beautiful animation, focus on character designs, often being adaptations and so doing the plot of those more complex stories, erotic content for audiences that aren't *that* fetishistic on average, and more. All of these priorities compete for space in comparison to having endless jumpscares and blood splatters. So far my track record for watching the famous "gorefest" or "~crazy~" anime is that every one of them is tamer than the rep suggests, and I believe this medium/genre mismatch is why.

--- The biggest question I have around Alita in general is why there was never any more anime? Its weird, right? Its a famous property from a beloved genre, it had a hollywood film for some crazy reason, things like Ghost in the Shell got multi-season anime after all. Why no feature film remake in the 2000's? Why no 13-cour in the 2010's? I don't have an answer to that yet.

Why the initial OVA was so minimal is at least partly answered by Kishiro here:

MNS: Many fans have wondered, why were only 2 anime OAV episodes produced in 1993? YK: It was based on the plan proposed by the animation production company. It might have been better to turn down the plan and wait for a better adaptation proposal to come up, but back then, I couldn't afford to review the plan coolly. At that time, I was still serializing the work and was so busy that I wasn't ambitious to make it into animation.

Essentially he took the "deal on hand", not offering much, because he didn't have the time, money, or business savvy to work the industry for a better proposal. 100% understandable. I don't think the OVA did too well? I can't find a lot of sales figures, but the comments I see are in the "respectable" range, and it didn't get quick or expansive rereleases over time.

More broadly, and again speculative, I think maybe Alita overall isn't that successful? Like sure Kishiro is still out here releasing more sequel manga to this day somehow, but when I look at the "media mix" its just really sparse. No big video game adaptations - it has a PlayStation game in the 90's - it has like a drama CD and a novelization? No big merch waves or tie-ins. I am betting the big anime production committees just don't think its a hot enough property to sell that great. Wouldn't be a bad idea or anything, but not one you have to do like idk Chainsaw Man.

In the western fandom spaces its quite well known because of the idiosyncrasies of licensing history, the weird James Cameron factor, and I think a general fascination with anime cyberpunk; the west eats up any of the older cyberpunk properties for its aesthetic in a way that can blind people to the reality of that just being a subgenre in Japan at the time. Alita might just be niche enough that it not getting any wider anime adaptations is no grand mystery.

(But I hope to dig into this question more)

#battle angel alita #mini essay

[ecargmura]

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End Episode 10 Review - The Strongest Mage

You were expecting a big battle between Frieren and Aura? Please, this isn’t a battle shounen manga. Besides, I think what the writer did for this buildup wasn’t to show off how much stronger Frieren is compared to Aura, but the fact that Frieren hates demons so much that the writer even incorporates that hatred into not focusing on Aura only towards the end. Imagine hating demons so much that the one standing in front of Frieren is such a pissant that she’d rather think back on her memories with Flamme and Himmel than focus on the current battle in general. That’s a total disrespect to Aura from Frieren and I wouldn’t have her behave any other way.

Throughout the flashbacks, Frieden’s hatred for demons has been revealed; demons killed the elf village she was living in and she managed to kill the demon general Basalt in retaliation. She was the only survivor and could’ve died if Flamme hadn’t shown up. Flamme decided to take Frieren as her apprentice because they share similarities from hating demons to loving magic. The most memorable lesson Frieren recalled from her tutelage with Flamme had been suppressing her mana in order to trick demons. Her time with Flamme has been finding ways to use magic in order to destroy any demon that stands in her way. At first, Frieren had found it pointless, but now, she uses it to her advantage centuries later when she meets Aura, a demon who’s ability requires her to use large quantities of mana. I honestly loved how Frieren clapped back at Aura’s long live by telling her that she’s a mage who has lived much longer than she did.

Flamme is such a good teacher. She chose her apprentice well. I think the fact that she chose an elf to continue her legacy was a smart decision. She taught Frieren everything and the latter has all the time in the world to retain the magic and then later gets her own apprentice in Fern. I really like Flamme’s personality. She’s like Frieren’s adopted mom, but there was still a bit of a border between them. Her mindset was also a strong, lasting factor in Frieren. She didn’t mind becoming a disgrace of mages if it means to destroy every last demon in the world. I think the sweetest part of the interaction between master and apprentice was that Flamme was the one who taught Frieren the flower field magic that she later incorporates during her travels with the hero’s party and later with Fern back in Episode 2. The chance encounter with Flamme paved the way for Frieren to meet Himmel who says the same thing she once said to her master when she first met her.

Some aspects I like about this episode was seeing the demons animated. Like, in the beginning, Lugner’s eyes wandered around a lot, which is something I quite liked seeing because he was rather emotionless and composed throughout most of his screen time. Seeing Aura becoming panicked when the scales tipped over to Frieren’s favor. When Frieren commanded Aura to kill herself, the detail of the sword cutting Aura’s hair before she did the thing was really good. While I do love amazing animation, little details like these are nice to see too!

I feel like this is now the end of this arc. I do wonder where Frieren and the others will go now. I’m seriously invested in their adventure towards Aureole. What will they get themselves into going forth? What are your thoughts about this episode and the end of this arc?

#frieren beyond journey's end #sousou no frieren #frieren #flamme #aura the guillotine #lugner #himmel #heiter #eisen #review #anime #anime review #ecargmura #arum journal

[blueskittlesart]

I got into anime because of ohshc, go insane

you have no idea the floodgate you've just opened. i am crazy <3 <3 <3

ouran is fascinating to me. genuinely. because for a lot of western fans (including myself) it was a starter anime. something we watched when we had very little knowledge of the industry or the genres which populated it. and like. with almost any other show that would be fine, but ouran is fundamentally a satire of shoujo romance, a specific anime genre which notably has very little presence in the western market currently, and had almost NO PRESENCE WHATSOEVER when ouran was in its peak popularity. I believe its popularity as a starter anime is mostly due to the fact that it simply happened to be one of the more easily accessible shows for western fans back in the day (it was part of the first wave of anime to be added to netflix iirc and was also almost immediately ripped and uploaded to youtube.) But like, looking back on it, the fact that many people watched ouran with little to no knowledge of anime in general AND the fact that the market was largely oversaturated with shounen while shoujo was relatively inaccessible at the time made it so that many western watchers were essentially missing 90% of the context with which it was meant to be viewed, and i think that DEFINITELY contributed to the way it has sort of fallen out of favor in recent years.

there was a shift around maybe. 2015-16ish or so. when those of us whose introduction to anime was that first wave of netflix translations got old enough to find our old interests cringe. and we started looking for ways to critique them so we could hate them for real reasons instead of just because we hated our middle school selves. and this did lead to a lot of valid and well-deserved critique of the anime that was popular at the time, which i don't necessarily want to diminish, but i think it led to criticism of ouran specifically which stemmed from lack of context and ignored critical portions of the show, which ultimately shifted the widespread perception of it among western fans from "funny comedy romance anime" to "homophobic twincest anime." (yes i am talking about the twincest. sorry but i am going to make you think about this because i never stop thinking about it)

before anyone goes insane i am in no way saying that twincest is not Bad. but what i AM saying is that OURAN WAS ALSO NOT SAYING THAT. this is where the lack of cultural context comes into play I think, because, as mentioned, ouran is satire of a specific genre of romance manga that is very well-known among japanese readers but took much longer to make its way west than shounen did, so a lot of the tropes and jokes that ouran is making fun of read to the untrained western eye as just sort of weird and off-beat. hikaru and kaoru's relationship is one of those things. there is a very real trend among female shoujo fans of fetishizing "forbidden" relationships, whether that be mlm or familial or whatever. because of this, you'd get series that were written about those kinds of relationships catering specifically to people who fetishized them. it's fucking weird. the point that ouran is trying to make with hikaru and kaoru is that IT IS FUCKING WEIRD. hikaru and kaoru are written deliberately as a critique of this trend of fetishization. They canonically play into their peers' fantasies because they enjoy the attention, while underneath it all they have almost no sense of self due to their peers' inability to view them as anything but two parts of a whole. the hitachiins as characters are a deliberate commentary on the way in which fetishization and shipping culture dehumanizes and strips these characters of their identities, reducing them down to entertainment for the girls they cater to. (as a note, i think it's interesting that a lot of the western 'yaoi fangirls' of the first-wave netflix anime era were obsessed with these two. like. girl maybe look at your source material a little bit longer LMAO.) I think suggesting that ouran's handling of hikaru and kaoru is an endorsement of twincest is an insane misunderstanding of the Entire Point Of The Show and it's really unfortunate because i KNOW it puts a lot of people off from watching it in the first place. People fr make it sound like the twincest is fucking pervasive when it literally is not and the whole point is that it sucks and they shouldn't be doing it.

to a lesser extent this weird inability to distinguish satire and endorsement is present in western fans' reactions to other aspects of the show as well. the most notable example i can think of off the top of my head is the way lobelia academy was handled. I vividly remember 2020 tiktok discourse about tamaki's "adam and eve" line as if that wasn't soooo obviously a JOKE AT HIS EXPENSE. lobelia is, again, satire of a specific shojou trope: the evil lesbian. again, a relatively common shojou trope in which a vindictive, man-hating girl tries to get in the way of the main m/f couple because she is in love with the female lead, often by physically harming or incapacitating the male lead. in the context of ohshc, ouran is the high school for the male and female leads and lobelia is the high school for the evil lesbians. there are definitely still some valid critiques of the way that the lobelia girls are written, but the amount of people who are just like. absolutely convinced that bisco hatori must be a huge lesbophobe for writing a blatantly obvious satirical critique of a lesbophobic trope is insane to me. also tamaki's adam and eve line was funny as fuck sorry i <3 homophobes

#im insane i am crazy. what i wouldn't give to latch obsessively onto any characters other than HIKARU AND KAORU HITACHIIN #and yes i know it's not that deep but the thing is it IS that deep. TO ME. #asks #GOD. help me #incest mention #homophobia mention

[sanguutrash]

Seraph of The End and its plot

Let me clarify this: Seraph of The End is a masterpiece, a work of literary art. Despite this, it has a lot of problems with its plot.

Let me state the extremely obvious; Seraph of The End is on an acid trip at this point of the plot. There's a lot of plot twists, and definitely some plot inconsistencies. This is probably because Kagami is changing up stuff so that it matches with his ideal outcome/ending for it, of course. Not to say it's near, since it's still a total clusterfuck and a lot of things have to be clarified before the manga can progress (not to mention it is MONTHLY, so we get 12 chapters per year to work with).

I personally, don't understand how YUU is MIKAELA. This is physically impossible, because, we know that Yuu is the eyeball. Not the fucking human???? unless Yuu is being stupid again and misreading his memories. Like, Michaela named the eyeball, the first Yuu, you know... Yuu. That just doesn't make sense. The eyeball basically gave life to a bunch of humans, so it would more be Yuu's child than a vessel of Yuu. Michaela and Yuu do not appear to be similar at all. You can tell because of the way his personality starts out. A fearful child, and a generic tsundere teenager. He just grows more innocent and foolishly blinded by his affection for life as time progresses. Michaela isn't exactly innocent in the child-like sense, he's more curious. Curious as to why life is... well, life. Honestly, I just don't get it at all. I just have no other way to explain it.

And then, where would Mikaela get his personality from? We know he's a successful clone of Michaela, but we don't know much about him [MIKAELA] as a person. We know a lot about Yuu, he's the first main lead; who the story is about. However, the story is centric around Mika too. So, it's inconsistent and just all the more confusing.

Shinoa Squad, GureMahi, and KrulFeri. (Not using their names as shipping, but more of an abbrev. for their names since theyre seen together) What about them? We have no idea what's going on with them. Since, our original leads in the previous plot arc was centric around them too. Shinoa Squad has been there from the start, so what'll be made of that? Seriously, seems like Kagami just cut them out and forgot them.

The plot is literally inconsistent as shit. Everything went downhill from the conversion of Mika to cursed gear and forth. After that it just got so much more confusing than it actually should be. And yet again, the story falls victim to the plot inconsistencies! Wow. Surprising. The story still remains interesting, but it's still extremely, extremely confusing. This may also ward off newer readers, because it's just not easy to wrap your head around unless you like overanalyzing stuff.

[END. If you are a MikaYuu or YuuNoa shipper, continue reading.]

Alright, now there's two possible ship endings that I can think of right now when it comes to our main leads.

A.) MikaYuu. They've been together from the start, they are the epitome of "It was always you", sacrificed everything to be with each other, show parallels to a ship considered "semi-canon" according to the ship wiki (this being GureMahi, as it has the most material to have parallels be made to)., and of course is a fan favorite. This can work, if Kagami decides to please his readers with something that you wouldn't see in a shounen: queers. I can see the world ending again, with Mika and Yuu sitting together, smiling at the destruction. [Although, I picture Mika slightly less happy.] Yuu and Mika watch as their greed has caused all of this, but they just don't seem to care all that much. After all, they're together.

B.) YuuNoa. They're the main leads. Main female, main male. They display parallels to GureMahi as well (but I find they have less), Shinoa's canon crush on Yuuichirou (that I will write a masterpost analyzing later), it's a shounen there has to be some straights somewhere, maybe Shinoa's love will have some good outcome for her. For YuuNoa, I picture that Yuu decides to revive the world (with Mika being by his side, can't kill off the main guy completely), with Shinoa finally having the strength to profess her love. Yuuichirou being like "WOW!! You like me!? AWESOME!!!!" and boom, they hold hands or something.

I'm mentioning these potential endings because shounen has some kind of outcome for their main characters. (ex: naruto's marriage, goku and chichi, ichigo and orihime, etc.) Of course, it's up to Kagami with what he wants to do with the romantic tensions. As for my stance on ships? Whatever seems the most canon at that moment is what I will support. Of course, as long as it isn't fucking disgusting. At this moment, it looks like MikaYuu is going to be canon. This may change, but I'm all for some queers.

SO, to conclude: Owari no Seraph is kind of a clusterfuck, and that's not a good thing. If it's gonna be saved, Kagami has a lot of explaining to do. Potential endings with ships can happen, depending on what Kagami wants to do with the story.

Send asks about topics you want me to maybe cover!! I'd love to do that :)

#anything bolded is a tl;dr of the paragraph #seraph of the end #owari no seraph #owari no serafu #mikaela hyakuya #yuichiro hyakuya #shinoa hiiragi #mitsuba sangu #shiho kimizuki #yoichi saotome #hiiragi mahiru #guren ichinose #ferid bathory #krul tepes

[neversetyoufree]

Shipping is fun and all but why do the whole fandom makes it like VNC was about rotting for Vanitas to be with either Jeanne or Noe and sexuality ? It's not what the story is about, it's about Noe and Vanitas's story together and how Noé will end up killing Vanitas. Is it because it's also treating of their relationship that the fandom focuses so much on romance which is a very sub themed (after all in shounen romance is always a subplot, more or less underdevelopped)

I mean, when it comes to Vnc, I'm not so sure that the romance is underdeveloped, anon. I 100% get not caring about romantic shipping, and that's fair, but sex and romance are big parts of this story. I don't think it's unreasonable to be invested in them when they're very present in the manga itself.

You're right that shonen series in general tend to be very light on romance. However, a majority of shonen also don't have their characters very regularly engaging in a metaphor for sex.

It's pretty undeniable that the blood drinking in VnC is meant as a sexual metaphor. Sometimes this is played for horror (like Astolpho's backstory), and sometimes this is played for horny (like the VaniJeanne scenes), but it's almost always there. It doesn't mean that every instance of blood drinking is meant to symbolize literal sex, but both in-universe and in terms of symbolism, drinking someone's blood in VnC is an erotic act. And there's a lot of blood drinking.

With that said, given that these characters are constantly running around drinking and/or craving each other's blood, of course people are going to talk about romance a lot. "Which character wants which other character's blood?" is a huge driving factor for the character dynamics in this story. And there's a lot of straight-up discussion of romance as well!

You cannot talk about or analyze Noé and Dominique's relationship without talking about her massive crush on him. You cannot analyze Vanitas and Jeanne's relationship without talking about their mutual attraction and all the blood drinking scenes. You cannot fully analyze Noé and Vanitas's relationship without talking about how much Noé wants Vanitas's blood.

It may not be the norm for shonen, but Vnc is, objectively speaking, a series that puts a fair amount of emphasis on romance. It's not the main plot, but neither is it a clumsily handled background element like in Naruto or something. This is a series driven by the relationships between its characters first and foremost, and several of those relationships are canonically romantic and/or horny.

(Also, as a bonus fun fact, there's an interview with Mochizuki where she directly talks about how she wanted Vnc to focus more on both action and romance than her previous works).

And as for the Vanoé angle specifically, you're right. Vnc is the story of Noé and Vanitas's relationship. It's the story of how they meet, what they do together, and how/why Noé will eventually kill Vanitas with his own hands. And the thing about that relationship is that it is frankly fucking FULL of queer subtext. Like half the writing on this blog, for example, is about Noé and Vanitas's relationship, and not all of it is gay. Sometimes I talk about the death and tragedy angle, sometimes I speculate about the concrete plot details of what's to come, and sometimes I talk about how absurdly queer-coded Noé's whole "your blood smells amazing" routine is. It's not the only thing going on between them, not by a long shot, but it's there! And I think it's quite reasonable to discuss it.

So like, everyone engages in fandom differently, anon. It's fine to not give a damn about the romantic angle. I personally am almost incapable of caring about ships that aren't heavily implied in their canon sources, which makes me a bit of the odd one out in some fandom spaces.

However, speaking for myself again, this is a meta blog. More often than not, when I talk about romance on here, it's through the angle of examining what's there in canon. I find the relationships between the characters to be the most compelling part of Vnc, so that's what I write about. Sometimes that means writing about how Noé's constantly trying and failing to save his loved ones generally, sometimes that means writing about the history between Vanitas and Misha, and sometimes that means writing about how fucking in love with Vanitas I think Noé is.

I can't speak for others, but I personally don't think I'm reading anything into this series that isn't there. It's fine if it's not an angle you care about personally! I fully support you in blacklisting ship tags if the discussion of romance gets on your nerves. I cannot fucking stand "ship wars," so like. I get it. But "shonen usually doesn't care about romance" does not mean "all the people talking about romance in Vnc are doing it for no good reason."

#it's genuinely a major part of the series friend #it's like. the entire point of chapter 12. #put the story on pause for a minute to establish all of these bonkers romantic dynamics. and then the plot can continue #I get being tired of shipping. but I don't think I've made any claims about romance in vnc that aren't supported by the text #no hate toward you anon. but we've been reading things very differently if you don't think the romance in vnc is important #ask #anon #meta #the vanoé agenda #vnc #vanitas no carte

[bleachbleachbleach]

[Bleach 129]

I am the kind of person who will latch onto one thing one character said one time and gnaw on it compulsively like it’s some kind of diction dog toy. These panels are fairly innocuous, relative to what comes immediately before and after them (that is, Matsumoto’s dream about her and Ichimaru’s origin story, followed by news of Hinamori’s jailbreak). But they’re also the first time we see Hitsugaya and Matsumoto really interact. 

In fact, we see Hitsugaya interact with Ichimaru (throwing out death threats) and Matsumoto interact with Hinamori (handing over contraband) before we get to see Hitsugaya and Matsumoto interacting with each other. We’re being introduced to them with these two other important people already in the mix.

What might we glean about Hitsugaya and Matsumoto, before we get to the Ichimaru bit? Across the board, Hitsugaya’s speech generally isn’t that formal, because he’s a boy in a shounen manga and he’s also the boss, so there’s less of a requirement, but I also think there’s an intimacy being shorthanded here. He could be less incredibly casual, pull a Byakuya and just use plain neutral language to address his subordinate, Matsumoto, but Hitsugaya also just did an entire ream of paperwork while she stress-napped in the office. He tells her, 構わん (kamawan, it doesn’t matter), using a shortened/masculine/superior’s form of 構わない (kamawanai). When describing Ichimaru and Hinamori’s altercation, he uses the phrase モメ方すりゃ(momekatasurya), the ending of which is a shortened/masculine/colloquial version of -すれば (sureba). Additionally, this phrase is made more casual/emphatic by using katakana instead of kanji [揉め becomes モメ]. We don’t know them yet, but we’re being asked to know them. We have about thirty seconds and two lines to do so: Syllables drop out and close the distance between them.

Despite this, Hitsugaya still seems to have a dim understanding of who Ichimaru might be to Matsumoto. His full line goes something like, 

Seeing your cohortmate and junior in conflict like that would probably be trying for you, too.

Hitsugaya refers to neither Ichimaru nor Hinamori by name. Instead, Ichimaru is "douki," or cohortmate, and Hinamori is "kouhai" (junior cohort). Which, knowing what we know about Ichimaru and Matsumoto’s whole deal, feels like a somewhat inadequate way to describe it. XDDD The whole sentence is couched in the epistemic mood; Hitsugaya seems a little unwilling to assert anything concrete. Maybe Hitsugaya is trying to split the difference and be sympathetic while also not making assumptions, hence "douki" instead of “friend,” or “past lover” or “your version of a Hinamori, maybe...?”

This is where I go full doggy toy, because also like, what if we take Hitsugaya at his word here and accept that this is not as convoluted as it sounds, because douki is actually a meaningful and relevant relation within the Gotei? 

The Viz translation is more natural than what I offered above (I mean, outside of the decision to refer to Ichimaru as "Gin" in the same breath as Hinamori is “Hinamori”―bold move, Captain Tôshirô!). "Your classmate Gin" still feels weird, though, because in an English-speaking context that kind of makes it sound like Hitsugaya’s throwing it back all the way to like, school classes at the Academy. But you can have Work Douki, as many large companies will welcome an incoming "class" of new employees who are entering the company at the same time. ...Of course, Matsumoto and Ichimaru did not actually… join the Gotei at the same time, either. Maybe they’re close enough, in the scheme of the thousands of years a shinigami might work for the Gotei. Though this would imply that Hitsugaya’s douki are RenjiKiraHinamori(Rukia), which I doubt is something he’d claim.

So I’m kind of taken by the idea that douki could have a looser literal meaning in the Gotei, and is one of the forms of relation that aims to capture a shinigami’s social affinities outside of one’s official seated rank.

Usually, the Gotei is all about rank, rank, rank. But we know there’s also Seireitei vs. Rukongai; there’s gender; there’s degree of nobility; there’s age. These things all matter―if they didn’t, we wouldn’t have a Shinigami Women’s Association; Hitsugaya’s life would probably be easier; the Kuchiki would pitch an absolute fit because of course degrees of nobility matter. Maybe having douki helps recapture the age/experience aspect of a shinigami’s understanding of self/relation, which might otherwise be wholly subsumed by rank.

If douki really is a meaningful aspect of shinigami life, Matsumoto could, say, have a social identity with the 10th, with the VCs, with the SWA, with her douki, and also with her miscellaneous friends. I like the idea that she would get to have all five of these things! 

(…All that’s missing is NON-WORK FRIENDS/LOVED ONES…)

I’ve been saying "cohortmate" as a translation for douki, but in my experience in the United States, the cohortmate relationship isn’t quite as compulsorily ride or die as douki are “supposed” to be. For example, there’s a 2004 article in The Japan Times that explains douki as a

"cross between sibling and comrade — the unwritten agreement is that all douki will stick together, whatever happens. / They work together, organize drinking parties, invite each other to their weddings, keep in touch and communicate for decades, often until retirement."

Given that it’s Ichimaru we’re talking about, though, it’s sad, because I don’t think any of those things are actually true of Ichimaru and  Matsumoto’s relationship in the Gotei, except perhaps in the unwritten whisper that it should have been. They should have cultivated this support, shared these memories, expressed this loyalty—they should be ride or die for each other. But they don’t have that—at least, not in any material way Matsumoto feels.

Because in the end, Matsumoto doesn’t know who Ichimaru is, either:

[Bleach 129]

Douki...? / Do you really― That Gin ― Ichimaru-taichou ―

More specifically, she says Ichimaru-taichou no koto (市丸隊長のこと), which softens the object of her thought. She’s talking about Ichimaru, but in the amorphous sense of the kind of person Ichimaru is, his essence, things he’s done, the general idea of him. The question comes out of Hinamori’s accusation about Ichimaru killing Aizen, but I don’t think Matsumoto’s really focused on the hard facts of a murder mystery. She’s asking after her captain’s read of who Ichimaru is. Which is a related but, I think, meaningfully different line of inquiry. 

After all, we don’t actually have a murder mystery to solve, because Aizen isn’t dead.

What we do have are a spiderweb of tested loyalties (between Ichimaru and Kira, Captain to VC; between Kira and Hinamori, as douki; between Kira and Matsumoto, as VCs; Hinamori and Hitsugaya, as childhood friends; Hinamori and Aizen, not as her Captain but ~"as a man"). But not, notably, between Matsumoto and Hitsugaya, even though Hitsugaya and Ichimaru end up very much at odds.

From the beginning, Hitsugaya summons this idea of "douki" into the room, and perhaps that word clarifies all the things Ichimaru is not. 

Maybe it’s then that Matsumoto knew this was going to be the last time she addressed those thoughts in the form of a question.

[Bleach 180]

#matsumoto rangiku #hitsugaya toushirou #ichimaru gin #bleach manga #bleach カラー #shinigamiology #bleach language #bleach meta #bleach headcanons #well this may have started as meta but for me meta exists only as a vehicle for headcanons #i certainly did not try to separate meta from headcanon #this is the full version (with--believe it or not--quite a bit of editing down for tl;dr) of the polynya-inspired GENERATIONS comment #that i added to the hiyori post from earlier this week #matsumoto era WHEN #no brain just bleach

[littleeyesofpallas]

Wierd I thought I'd done all this before, but I guess I only sorta lightly touched on the royal guard's names but not swords... well in the wake of Shutara's whole thing in the anime I figured it was a good a time as any to revisit stuff...

Hyousube[兵主部] written [兵]: "soldier" and [主部]: "chief division" but probably taken from either Hyouzu temple[兵主神社] which is the name of two different shinto temples in Kishiwada and Tanba cities , or Itatehyouzu[板手兵主神社] in Himeji. None of them seem to bare any direct significance to Hyousube's character, themes, or motifs as best as I can tell. Neither his personal mansion in the royal realm, nor the big temple summon kidou seem directly based on the architecture of any of the temples in question.

Duh there is a yokai just called Hyousube[兵主部] written exactly the same. I have no idea how I let that one slip by me. Makes way more sense than trying to break it down character by character. They are hairy little humanoids that attack people near rivers, they're considered "related" to kappa? I can't tell if that's supposed to be in like a literal taxonomical sense or just a comment on them having similar lore. Ichibee's a little too big, both tall and broad, to really fit the description of the yokai, but he is hairy, so I guess that's the link. They are said to cause or otherwise spread disease, and in some remote regions are considered a kind of minor god of war. They have a distinctive hideous laughter.

Anyway the name Ichibee[一兵衛] is written [一]: "one," and [兵衛]: "imperial guard." It has a neat sort of mirror with Ichigo's name being [一護]: "one protect" and [一...衛]: "one...defense."

But that's stuff I've covered before, but I realize i never touched on his sword stuff. His shikai's name is Ichimonji[一文字] and is literally the whole word for "straight line" but if you want to break it down, it's just [一]: "one" [文]: "literary" [字]: "character" but [文字]: "written character" like a letter of the alphabet, and shaped like a [一]; It's totally selfdescript. In fact, in the actual weekly print the tagline on the page where he first releases it and ends the chapter is a play on words on the fact. I wish I still had the raws but anything I had on that issue of weekly shounen jump are long long gone.

His release call is Kuromeyo[黒めよ]: "blacken" literally just the verb "to make black." Viz took some liberties with "paint it black," but I kind of like how it plays into the paintbrush.

Oh but most translations i've seen really screwed up the whole proto-bankai thing. The term Shinuchi[真打] that I've seen taken literally as "True Strike" ignores a few things, not the least of which being that [打] does not mean "strike" when pronounced "uchi." But more importantly the whole word shinuchi[真打] is a specific word referring to a star performer or headliner, but also a high rank of rakugo performer. Rakugo being a type of storytelling in yose theater, a smaller stage with minimal dressing, and a more intimate small crowd. It has, a specific type of theater/stage and even a specific style of font all tied to the subculture and aesthetic around it.

The new-ish and ongoing shounen jump manga, Akane-banashi is about a highschool girl getting into Rakugo and is probably the best crashcourse both for westerners and just a younger generation of Japanese who are less familiar with the art form, to come out in years. Totally worth checking out.

More specifically, Rakugo is a form of storytelling characterized by comedy, wordplay, and long often confusing or at least complicated plots. The lone actor plays all roles, doing voices, faces, and hand gestures. More to the point, part of the history of Rakugo traces back to Buddhist monks called otogishu[御伽衆]: lit. "honorable entertainer (of) the masses" who were often appointed specifically to be a kind of personal conversational partner to samurai lords, and thus well versed in telling entertaining stories as well as reciting Buddhist sutras, myths, and teachings.

And the bankai/shinuchi name itself, Shirafude Ichimonji[しら筆一文字] just tacks on shira[白]: "white" and fude[筆]: "brush."

Anyway, all that to say that the reason Ichibee is a monk, has a thing about word play, and calls his sword a main attraction is because of the rakugo theme holding it all together. It also accounts in part for his boisterous and comedic personality, his extreme facial expressions, and his techniques being set up like rakugo jokes with a kind of twist/punchline to them.

The monk theme is also where Ichibee's paintbrush gimmick comes from, as zen buddhism specifically gave rise to Hitsuzen-dou[筆禅道] the "Brush Zen-way," which emphasized calligraphy as a medium for deep meditation on the subjects of the writing. It's why Ichibee has command over true names and this deep abstracted meaning of concepts. The most basic and iconic aspect of Zen buddhism is the contemplation of the ensou[円相]. And in fact the use of giant brushes is a common spectacle with its own aesthetic sensibilities in the calligraphy, so other than having a blade, Ichibee's zanpakutou is actually not an exaugurated design at all. That's legit just a size those brushes come in.

#bleach meta

[applestorms]

EVANGELION.

context: i just (as in, within an hour of beginning this post) finished watching evangelion, including both the tv series & the end of evangelion the movie. i have not read the manga, or watched any of the remake (?) movies yet (though i plan to shortly). my brain is thus running at like mach 10 rn trying to keep all of these thoughts in order, so to preserve these initial reflections while they're still fresh, here is the evangelion post. no worries if you're following me for other stuff, we'll be back to regular programming soon enough, but i can't let this shit stew on my own for much longer.

SUMMARY: 7 sections, on agency, sartre, shounen expectations, freud & generational trauma, queer shit, hope, & anime budgets. obvious spoiler warning.

1. agency (does shinji actually have any choices?)

this idea is one of the first to stand out to me while watching, and was also the most personally satisfying to watch develop since it only gained relevancy throughout the series + held major significance in EoE.

essentially: every single time that shinji has a "darkest hour" moment throughout the series, typically revolving around him not wanting to fight/kill/destroy/etc. while piloting the eva, someone around him will tell him that it is his decision whether or not he wants to continue fighting. most often this person is misato, though there is also an instance of kaji doing it in the later part of the show. significantly, while this "choice" is always framed as a decision that shinji himself is allowed to make, to join their forces and fight or not, it is very clearly not actually a decision at all- even ignoring the obvious...emotional stress of telling a 14 year old that he can either get back in the goddamn robot no matter how traumatizing it is to him and fight or single-handedly cause the extinction of humanity, shinji can never truly leave nerv and this only becomes more apparent the more time that passes.

that's all quite obvious in my mind, but what's notable here is the progression, both in terms of how the decision itself is presented to him, and how the continual fake-out of giving shinji any actual agency carves at his psyche.

in terms of the first, it is very clear, above all else, that shinji absolutely does not want to fight in the fuckign robot, which is demonstrated through the fact that every single time he is given the "choice" to leave, he takes it and runs away, no matter how dire the situation is. shinji does not want to be a shounen protagonist, dammit, but time and time again he is dragged back into the same position and, most importantly, taught that his choices mean nothing. from the first few episodes where he runs away from home, to EoE where misato drags him through a parking lot and throws him into an elevator while telling him to fight, time and time again shinji's agency is violently taken away from him in the name of the continuation? transformation? of humanity, and i think that from his complete lack of desire to do literally anything in EoE we can tell he is aware of this.

what's really significant about all of this, then, is the way that this message influences the few instances where shinji actually does have some semblance of agency. in particular, i'm thinking about the gay angel (THE GAY ANGEL) and the ending of EoE.

so, first: the gay angel. kaworu. i say "semblance of agency," since shinji is kind of just given the same decision here as everywhere else, but this one is presented pretty & executed (ouch) pretty differently so i wanna talk about it.

kaworu is a very different character from everyone else in the cast for the primary reason that he is not particularly caught up in his own bullshit. he shows up at a time when shinji basically has no one (the trust "darkest hour" of the whole series, really) and is notable in that he openly and easily gives him love and time when no one else is really able to. this could in part be attributed to his status as an angel, but i think it goes further too- more on this in the section about generational trauma.

anyways, the decision to kill kaworu is phrased very differently from the previous "choices" offered to shinji by misato. rather than telling shinji that he has a choice in the same vague terms as before, to fight or not fight, kaworu kinda just tells him straight up- either he can kill kaworu, the one person who mutually loves and cared for him at a time when literally no one else was able to and thereby give humanity a chance at continuation, or he can hold off and let kaworu live but cause the destruction he has been pulled into staving off for the entire series. loneliness or annihilation- those are shinji's two choices here, and kaworu is very open about which one he prefers, citing the good that humanity has brought forward. i actually think that misato is wrong in her interpretation of this scene (lots of misato slander here whoops, i swear i love her)- kaworu isn't offering up his life here out of a lack of care for himself, but rather an overwhelming care for shinji as an individual and humanity as a collective.

from shinji's perspective though, this is basically the same agonizing moral dilemma he has been forced to "decide" for the last 16 angels, and he knows by this point what the answer is supposed to be. it's what's so truly tragic about this moment to me- even if kaworu meant this to be a genuine decision for shinji to make, accepting the consequences of his choice fully either way, shinji was never going to be able to see it that way after having the "correct" answer forced upon him again and again. he might be able to scramble for a justification in the aftermath, rationalizing it as his own (supposedly) disgusting need for validation, but he was never actually allowed to decide any other way and he knows it. even if shinji would ultimately choose in favor of the continuation of humanity & continue fighting, the decision itself is so tainted* by this point that it doesn't really matter, since no one could ever really know the truth.

*(this lack of a decision could also be attributed to an inability for anyone to truly trust shinji- see section 2 on sartre for more on this dissonance.)

there is, however, one instance where shinji truly is given an actual choice, which coincidentally also includes kaworu but also rei at the end of EoE. here the choice is a bit different though, instead being between the continuation of humanity in its collective, gelatinous blob state or broken back up into separate entities.

since humanity has already been eradicated (hey callback to kaworu's presence marking the ultimate end of humanity, he came back for more than just to comfort shinji & be a thematic parallel to denote his "true" choices), i think shinji is able to view this decision much more clearly and thus seems a lot more satisfied with his ultimate choice. there's a lot of nuances to this of course, as evidenced by the ending with asuka, but past that i think the fact that both the tv series & EoE end with shinji coming to some sort of satisfied (if mostly theoretical) conclusion that seems to leave him with a marginally happier emotional state is pretty meaningful, especially considering just how little emotional development these characters go through in general (see sections 3 & 4).

what's particularly satisfying about all this though is the fact that shinji seems to actually engage with this idea himself in one of previously mentioned conclusions. the ending of the tv show is essentially just shinji realizing that he does in fact have agency and has had it all along, even if not in the biggest/most overwhelming situations he was forced into. personally, i read this as shinji not only becoming consciously aware of his own learned helplessness, but also the fact that he has actually been making decisions for himself all along and is able to continue doing so, that he can take back his agency for himself through the conscious decision to keep making meaningful connections with others- a very beauvoirean conclusion, which is gonna become real significant real fast as we get into this next section. up next: sartre.

2. sartre (shinji/asuka/rei as no exit, ft. good place parallels)

no exit is a 1944 existentialist play written by the french philosopher jean-paul sartre. in it, three people (two women, & one man, by the names of estelle, inez, and garcin) are sent to hell and locked in a room together, destined to torture one another for the rest of eternity. the most well known line from it is likely "Hell is other people," a conclusion the character garcin comes to near the end of the play as the group realizes the truth of their circumstances.

there are some obvious connections here- the three main characters from no exit pretty easily map onto the three main pilots (estelle -> asuka, garcin -> shinji, and more lightly inez -> rei). the cycle of torture even follows as well, with a possible interpretation of the pilots' dynamic being that asuka tortures shinji (see section 5; tldr it's all the degradation), rei tortures asuka (her silence heightening asuka's insecurities), and shinji tortures rei (less obvious, but hinted at through things like rei's emotional attachment to shinji which seems to at least scare her for how strange it is).

past that though, the sartrean elements of this story become super fucking clear in the last few episodes, coming down to two big ideas that shinji frets over: freedom as a curse, and hell as other people.

the "condemnation of freedom," idea is kind of tied up with the whole shinji agency thing discussed in section 1, and since i don't think i can elaborate on it much more here without doing a whole deep dive on the philosophy, i'll just focus on the second idea, especially since it's one of the emotional cores that the story revolves around.

the idea that "hell is other people," as stated by garcin in the original play really comes down to one main factor and that is the dissonance between how we view ourselves & how other people view us. in the show, this is presented through the hedgehog allegory (also related to western philosophy but i know sartre better so i'm gonna keep talking about him here) and the idea that in the process of getting closer to one another we also hurt each other more, but i think the sartrean idea lends a bit more light onto the whole conflict of perspectives thing that the hedgehog idea along misses out on.

it's pretty clear imo that shinji has some kind of social anxiety, or at the very least is dealing with a lot of the normal anxiety that comes with growing up and beginning to desire validation (from your peers, from your guardians, etc.). the entire point of EoE as a film and seemingly the very basis for the concept of AT fields is the idea that humanity is separate, with individual humans never being able to truly connect with one another. ignoring the more esoteric & absurd ways this is portrayed in-movie, this idea is pretty easy to get on board with- relationships change over time, people fight and become close and fall apart, and that is largely just a natural fact of life. again, the inability to accept this fact is going to be examined more in section 4, but i think shinji is key in connecting the hedgehog thing to sartre.

near the end of EoE, when everyone is getting exploded into orange goop and melted into the human soup, it is notable that the way everyone gets incorporated is by a rei transforming into the person that they seem to have wanted to connect with the most (shinji's dad with his mom, but also maya w/ akagi and hyuga w/ misato), again tying back to that theme of desiring a more "true"/deeper connection between people. at the end of the tv series, however, this is slightly different due to the look we get into shinji's mind. specifically, shinji doesn't just desire a relationship (platonic, romantic, and/or sexual) or validation from other people, but is caught up in the way that he is perceived by others. the separation between people is thus torturous to him not in how it means he can't truly connect with other people, but in how he can't control the ways that other people view or understand or react to him.

i think this is a part of why shinji seems to have a much easier time with his end decision in EoE- despite all the underlying freudian psychosexual development shit that permeates through some of the weirder parts of NGE, shinji seems to me to care a lot more about how other people view him than the specific types of connections he is able to make, e.g. he still considers his relationship with asuka to be a key point of meaning in his life, despite how turbulent/messy it is. for a kid who struggled with social interactions a lot growing up, any deeper connection is pretty meaningful to him by this point, and it shows. this also could be attributed to being a part of the greater influence of kaworu, as the fact that he cared so deeply and so meaningfully about shinji (and the opposite as well) may have been proof to him that any "deeper" connections aren't really necessary or worthwhile, even before he got mixed up into the people soup.*

*ALSO: didn't think about this until later, but there's also the whole process of connecting with the evas that the pilots have to go through to think about here.

**ALSO 2: if you didn't already know, the good place is also very overtly based on no exit. this means there's actually a kinda random parallel between tgp & evangelion in that they both happen to add a fourth individual through the introduction of a fourth dude (jason & kaworu respectively) that mixes shit up even more. neat.

so, speaking of the various endings:

3. the ending does make some sense, actually (dropping shounen expectations)

one of the things that i was most impressed by while watching evangelion, especially around the mid-point of the tv series around the time that asuka is introduced, is the fact that they were able to make what would otherwise be pretty standard anime fan service a genuinely meaningful part of the story's underlying themes, in particular those related to the freud shit (getting there soon, i promise) but also just the general connections to biology and humanity and development.

i don't think evangelion should be watched or understood like a traditional shounen show, and in fact it kind of goes against the underlying emotional core of story to try and force that kind of reading onto it. like, okay, take shinji for example- like i said a couple sections back, one of shinji's key character traits is the fact that he doesn't want to be a fucking shounen protagonist and hates being forced into that position, but keeps getting dragged back to nerv and EVA 01 anyway.

i think it's notable that the few moments where shinji has what might be considered a "traditional" epic shounen hero moment could very easily be read as not even being shinji's own actions in the first place, but the eva itself due to them 1. not showing shinji's face during the moment, just his fear before and trauma after, and 2. being motivated by shinji's extreme fear, giving more of the vibe of a mother protecting her child than shinji making progress on his own.

none of the main cast really seem to go through any super significant character development throughout the entirety of both the show and movie, actually- the closest we get is whatever the hell rei was doing and the breakthroughs in thought that shinji has at the very very end of either production, but that's about it.

what i think makes this important is the fact that it points towards what the actual emotional core that the show centers around. what sets evangelion apart from other shounen shows, imo, is the fact that it takes a hard look at the apocalyptic world that it created and really takes the time to reflect on how that kind of trauma would actually influence its characters. i haven't seen a ton of in-depth negative reviews of the ending of NGE, but i'm guessing that a major factor in the potential frustration with the ending is the fact that it drops a lot of the overt plot elements in favor of more a more abstract look into shinji's mind. but i think that look is entirely the point of the ending- it was never really about the robots, or at least not by the end of the series, so the ending focuses on the emotional payoff of at least one character instead to find the barest glimmer of hope leftover.

this is part of why i find kaworu to be such a significant character- one of the key conclusions that shinji seems to come to at the end of the tv series is the idea that "you have to love yourself in order to love other people," but i actually don't know if that's entirely true or even demonstrated in the series. kaworu is the first person to really demonstrate to shinji that he is capable of loving and being loved, and despite the tragedy of that relationship, i think it was a core part of shinji's eventual first step towards self-acceptance.

4. freud & generational trauma (everyone is ultimately just an abused child)

ok fuck it, i've been talking about this for ages, let's just fucking get to it already.

i'm nowhere near an expert on freud, really i only have a pretty baseline understanding (thanks to a high school ap psych class) of the psychosexual stages of development thing that the show references a lot in the later parts (the oral fixation thing w/ misato, etc.), so rather than looking into the details of that, i think the big thing here for me is how the use of freud influences the ideas that the show focuses on. namely, as we see through the last few episodes of the tv series: everyone is just a sad, traumatized, abused kid.

i also think that what the inclusion of all the freud shit ultimately does for this series is give it a big emphasis on biological human development and family relations, which feels especially significant in how it can tie into a more subtle, but imo still very important idea: generational trauma, told through the story of the end of the world.

what i like about this idea is that it's really where the story begins, chronologically in the timeline and in episode 1 with shinji & gendo. the idea then evolves and expands the more parent/child relationships we learn about, from misato and her father to asuka, akagi, and, at least in part, rei.

similar to how the series utilizes its religious themes & imagery to get back to the origins/sources of humanity (namely adam & lilith), i like to think of the second impact as the source of this initial trauma. because of the second impact, we are basically guaranteed that every single adult present in the series has dealt with some degree of trauma, though in many cases this expands to other things as well (e.g. gendo struggling with social connections & misato's tricky relationship with her father, both of which are established pre-impact).

what's really big though is how this initial trauma influences the next generation of kids, especially the main trio of eva pilots (& their respective mother-related machinery) but really all of their classmates as well. toji, to some degree kensuke, really every kid born after or around the time of the second impact seems to similarly deal with the echoes of this initial trauma. if you want to, you could maybe even relate back to the very first impact of the lilith egg as a source as well, each new impact being an echo of the previous through the continuation of generational traumas.

TLDR: the freud shit doesn't have to just be freud shit, the fucked up family relations can be read through the lens of generational trauma as well.

5. queer shit (THE GAY ANGEL)

when i say queer shit here i'm really talking about gender roles, which is ESPECIALLY important when talking about shinji's two main crushes: kaworu and asuka (sticking with those two for now since they're the most overt, but they're not necessarily the only ones you can read into btw).

the big thing here is that imo the main factor that makes shinji's relationship with asuka (in particular, but really all of the women in the show) so difficult is the weight that heterosexual relationships have. again, much of evangelion's imagery is heavily focused on biology, specifically in terms of development both as a baby is developed & in puberty, and i think that weight is felt in the awkward relationships shinji has with all the girls he's suddenly been surrounded by.

this is in part why i think it was so much easier for shinji to get on board with kaworu, and why the relationship itself was so meaningful to him- because there's no threat of MARRY A WOMAN BONE HAVE A CHILD REPRODUCE CONTINUE THE HUMAN RACE (the last one in particular being especially relevant in the post-apocalyptic hellscape they're all trapped in), shinji is able to focus entirely on the personal emotional aspects of the relationship and the ability to find meaning through human connection, which again is a very beauvoirean idea.*

*i think i kinda skipped over this in the sartre section but beauvoir was a contemporary of sartre that influenced a lot of his philosophy especially later on so the fact that shinji's end conclusion seems so reminiscent of beauvoir is very satisfying.

this is not to say that shinji's relationship with asuka or any of the women around him wasn't meaningful or revolving around genuine feelings on his part, just that the weight of social expectations particularly in the context of male/female gender roles is a constant factor at the back of his mind when trying to navigate all these new social situations.

this is also not just an issue that shinji deals with- asuka herself is constantly the one to call shinji out for not being enough of a real man, which shinji actually rarely mentions all that directly, only caring when asuka herself mentions it, and i personally read her struggles with sexuality and desire to be seen as an adult as a part of her deeper issues with the woman gender role. misato kind of deals with the same thing actually, and even akagi in how they all have such tricky relationships with their own sexuality and the men around them. again, i think the whole dissonance between differing perceptions idea is relevant here, especially when considering the ways that women deal with objectification, both in terms of how others view them and how they're taught to present themselves.

6. no development but lasting hope? (making sense of EoE)

i kind of already talked about this, but expanding on the idea that everyone is ultimately still just an abused kid looking for solutions to the problems they were raised to have, i think it's significant within the imagery of the show that the world post-second impact is eternally spring/summer, meaning that even the environment the characters are trapped in itself is unable to develop or grow, stuck in the same cycle of infancy & puberty with no real adulthood. the constant threat of the angels and/or third impact also adds to this, with characters rushing to get married and form relationships (as misato & akagi talk about in one episode) but never getting the chance to properly grow old before they die.

this implies however that the existence of an autumn/winter is potentially in the future, that growth can come eventually and hope is still present. i'm not entirely sure yet what to make of the ending of EoE- i actually really like how the tone shifts so drastically immediately following such an emotionally heavy, complicated sequence, but i also don't think it's entirely without hope. it's the same old as before, maybe a relapse, maybe a reaction the traumas that initially happened, but. i mean she doesn't actually die??? my big conclusion is still a work in progress i suppose.

7. bonus: this isn't low budget it's goddamn beautiful, watch utena

i've been writing this "short reflection" for like two days straight already, this section is basically just the title. watch utena for more fucked up shit with an actually low budget. frankly this video explains the low budget thing better and has a better justification so i'll just direct you there. (yes this connection is about the therapy elevators.)

#astronaut rambles #nge #neon genesis evangelion #end of evangelion #evangelion meta #not my usual type of meta posting but i couldn't keep this shit in #sorry if the freud section is kind of incoherent i stopped & started writing halfway through it due to a need to Sleep #baz this one's for you

[pikahlua]

I hope I'm not pestering you at this point, but when exactly do you think he changed his idea of what being the number 1 meant to the extent that he no longer cared about the actually title? Because I got the impression that he'd accepted his weakness when compared to Midoriya under the condition that he would surpass him in the future, based on what he said during the War when trying to keep up with Deku. I kind of thought his visceral reaction to failing to truly damage Shigaraki, and him embracing the damage his awakening was doing to himself to kind of imitate Deku and the power he achieved with his self-sacrificial mindset, kinda supported that. How off am I?

Sorry if I'm making you repeat things you've said.

Oh, you're not off at all. Forgive me, I did not originally understand your meaning in the first question:

Do you think there's going to be a moment where Bakugou comes to terms with the fact that he might never be the number 1 the way he wanted? I can see the story is going on a "save to win" route, but I've been curious about how him realizing his most powerful attacked only grazed Shigaraki will play out.

I thought by not being "the number 1 the way he wanted," you meant his original idea of it from the beginning of the series--the "win no matter what" mentality without a thought for saving anybody. I see now you meant something different.

It sounds like you were asking if Katsuki will ever face the possibility that he may never surpass Izuku or be able to reach Izuku's level when it comes to firepower, that Katsuki may be in Endeavor's situation (not with Endeavor's mindset though) where he constantly sees how wide the gap between them is and must reconcile with that, that Katsuki may have to settle on a "number one" where he surpasses Izuku not with his own strength but only with help from others (i.e. teamwork).

To which I must say, uh, western fans, we gotta talk.

Anon, you may not be guilty of harboring the idea I'm about to challenge, but I see this one particular sentiment all over the place in the English-speaking fandom, and I really need to make something clear to everyone:

Horikoshi has never stated there is an upper limit on any character's power growth potential--NOT EVEN IZUKU'S.

Don't get confused by the "100% One For All" thing. That's a measure of how much of One For All Izuku is USING. It's meant to compare with how much power All Might could use at 100%--but Izuku's real 100% will be different. One For All didn't just get more powerful by being passed on. Each user before Izuku, including notably Shinomori, cultivated and improved the power. Izuku will do so too. His current 100% is not his end-all-be-all 100% over the course of his life. Izuku can train and work hard and grow and make One For All stronger, too.

And Izuku isn't the only one who can do this. Anyone, Katuski included, can improve their quirk. They don't have some set 100% limit they can't increase with enough effort.

To which you might say: okay, but realistically, there is SOME upper limit to that, right?

But actually...no. This is manga/anime, not real life. And shounen manga is particularly notorious for its focus on effort and improvement through hard work. This is a time-honored tradition of the genre dating all the way back to Son Goku of Dragonball (and probably even further back too). The upper limits of Goku's power growth become so absolutely ludicrous as his series carries on and needs him to grow stronger--SO HE JUST GETS STRONGER. That's like the EPITOME of what he is: someone who wants to get stronger so he works to get stronger and, lo and behold, he gets stronger!

And lest we forget, Horikoshi has named Goku as one of his ideals of a "hero," as one of the characters from whom All Might (and by extension Katsuki) takes inspiration.

You know how each generation of quirks has greater potential than the last? This is a direct parallel of One For All's evolution. It showcases that ALL quirks have the ability to evolve into something powerful just like One For All did; it's just a matter of what the quirk user does with it. And each generation can cultivate their quirk and pass it along to get even stronger too. If you want to be a real stickler about how maybe only CERTAIN generations of quirks could surpass One For All, sure, fine, whatever (actually not fine but I'll deal with this later*). We don't know which generation of quirk users Katsuki falls into, and there's a real chance he doesn't know either. But he was born in the same generation as Izuku, so there's no reason his quirk can't be of a ninth generation too. So, he has every reason to believe he could become just as strong as Izuku. He always believed he could surpass All Might, after all.

*Okay let's deal with this little nugget now. Does the ordinal generation of Katsuki's quirk really matter? Not really. Izuku's power was cultivated by many as a theme, but he acknowledges his is a strength made from others'. That doesn't make One For All inherently the best quirk ever, just that it was able to become so strong BECAUSE of others. If the others had done nothing with it, it wouldn't have become so powerful. MHA acknowledges there are other important and good ways of improving one's power: through hard work and effort. It's not that one form of cultivation is absolutely better than the other, just that they both have their uses--and that BOTH TOGETHER would be the best route to improve one's power. This ties into how Japan traditionally views talent and intelligence as products of hard work and improvement in contrast to how the west traditionally views these things as inherent and set at birth. If you're unaware, the Japanese word for "quirk," kosei, translates to "individuality/personality." Individuality/personality is also one of those traits a person has that can be seen as inherent or cultivated--but really it's a product of BOTH. The question of nature versus nurture, as always, is answered with "well actually, both nature and nurture play a part."

(If you want to go off on a tangent with this, go read whatever is the latest version of @siflshonen's Katsuki Bakugou powerpoint presentation on their blog at the time you are reading this.)

Now, I told you all that to tell you this:

Katsuki should never have to face the idea that he will never be able to be number 1 because it's simply not true.

Katsuki has every potential to surpass Izuku. If Izuku were to be satisfied with his quirk's growth and call it quits, Katsuki's quirk's growth would eventually outshine his GUARANTEED. It's because Katsuki is that kind of character, and this is demonstrated in spades throughout the entire manga. Gosh, remember when Izuku said he was only using 8% of OFA in Deku vs Kacchan, Part 2? Remember how the fandom assumed he would dwarf everyone else in comparison as he progressed further down the line?

And remember how Katsuki "grit his teeth to keep from falling behind"?

Everyone's always going on about how Izuku's power will someday eclipse everyone else's, but he's had that monstrous OFA power with him all along since he got it. He just has to improve his BODY to match OFA's power. Has no one really put any thought to how absolutely BATSHIT it is that Katsuki kept up with him? After Katsuki's growth had stalled for so long?

Remember, Izuku's raw power surpassed Katsuki's in DvK2. So by the time of the Paranormal Liberation War, Katsuki developed his quirk to match OFA at 30% in the same amount of time it took Izuku just to develop his body to handle that much OFA. If we're gonna get into the western versions of power-scaling where we care about natural limits...

THE HEIGHTS OF KATSUKI'S "NATURAL" LIMITS ARE EMPIRICALLY ASTRONOMICALLY INSANE.

So, I come back to something you said:

I kind of thought his visceral reaction to failing to truly damage Shigaraki, and him embracing the damage his awakening was doing to himself to kind of imitate Deku and the power he achieved with his self-sacrificial mindset, kinda supported that.

...and to something I said:

But if you mean he'll reconcile with how his firepower compares to TomurAFO's, I'd say, uh, keep an eye out, because already he's had a quirk upgrade since he tried his Howitzer Cluster on TomurAFO. It's very likely that is no longer the upper limit of his capabilities. And that's just assuming he hasn't achieved any other power ups yet/won't get another one soon.

Katsuki's Howitzer Impact Cluster vs TomurAFO was a single snapshot in time. Katsuki has already had a quirk upgrade since then, and as you so aptly pointed out, he's had a sort of philosophical/meta upgrade too as he emulated Izuku. I doubt these will be the last improvements he experiences in his life. He was always held back from surpassing Izuku by the story because he was missing such a huge part of being a hero: saving people. But that's been resolved now. He and Izuku will be rivals who challenge each other to be better for the rest of their lives, and I doubt either one of them will ever truly pull away from the other in terms of raw potential (at least not for long). Katsuki may have instances of self-doubt, of course. He even may at some point acknowledge Izuku as his superior. But I don't think that's a reason for him to ever lose hope or give up. I think there's plenty of reason for anyone to believe it's possible for him to surpass Izuku someday. After all, All Might was considered the best hero of his age not because of his strength but because of his spirit.

And Katsuki's sure got a shitton of spirit.

#anon ask #ask pika #my hero academia manga spoilers #final showdown spoilers #katsuki bakugou #meta #pika's objectively correct power-scaling opinions

[olderthannetfic]

/726864398686240768/ Hi, anon here. I didn’t mean to suggest that Rowling intended them as queer by calling them “queer coded.” I know the culture on this site has warped the word beyond all recognition, but I’m using the term “coded” the way I learned it in media studies classes I took in college, where it doesn’t require authorial intent. Just like how someone can repeat an insult they heard growing up without knowing it is an offensive slur if they’ve never had that pointed out to them, creators can recreate stuff they’ve seen in other media without being aware of all of that stuff’s implications. Rowling seems to be really weirdly good at recreating male friendships that read as very homoerotic without having any clue of that — see also Albus/Severus in Cursed Child, but it’s hard to say some of the boarding school stories she’s drawing from there aren’t queer. She may not be aware of how the presentation of Remus and Sirius as “Harry’s two uncles who live together” reads to a lot of people but that doesn’t mean those people are getting it from nowhere, or similarly with the gender bending, spiky haired, call me by my gender ambiguous surname and not my very feminine first name Tonks. And in general Rowling seems to have a shounen manga ending level of wanting to pair off everyone neatly and heterosexually, which is heteronormative as a pattern regardless. And that’s not even going into her oblivion toward other kinds of coding with the goblins, house elves, the colonialism of all the Magic in North America stuff….

--

Well... yes, intent isn't always required.

I don't think people are getting it from nowhere, but neither do I agree that these characters are a good example of queer-coding. They have some mild features that are good fodder for extrapolation.

And Rowling's work is like 1/10th as homoerotic as a lot of standard male friendship stuff.

[hxhhasmysoul]

Happy holiday.... What do you think that made Yuuji is so likeable as a character? I've only been in the JJK fandom for a year, and I've seen a lot of other JJK characters' stan. But one thing in common, they all love Yuuji and mostly will include him in their top 5 fav JJK charas (including me :D)...

Also, extra kudos cause your blog is anti-gojo. Most of my moots love him and can't stop talking about him. I already tell them that I don't really like him (actually I hate him), they're okay but still so into him. So I'm so happy when I found your blog.

What do you think that made gojo so famous? Is it the pretty face and bad personality (I'm still confused until now)....? I dislike gojo kinda like I dislike dazai from BSD. They're both called "The one who stole the spotlight from the protagonist" (by my animanga group)....

I hope your holidays were nice! And everything best in the new year :D Thank you for the ask.

I think Yuuji is likable because he's very relatable. There's this post about how much we learn about him in the first few chapters and it clearly shows how there are just layers to him from the very start. How it's not easy for him to make close friends he can open up to but he tries. How he deals with family issues. How he is towards strangers.

There's this very strong humanity to Yuuji, he has super powers but he's extremely normal and human about it. He's such a contrast to the jujutsu society he enters where most sorcerers are so detached from the normies. Nanami isn't as detached, neither is Miwa. And Nobara isn't fully detached either. That is probably why Yuuji connects with her so closely, closer than with Megumi who's very steeped into the whole jujutsu ideology.

And as the story progresses we see Yuuji dehumanised, insulted and targeted. We see him trying to constantly reconcile his values with his new reality, we see him try not to lose himself when everyone tries to tell him he's wrong. When actually he's the one sane, the one that hasn't instrumentalised human life.

_

Yeah, this is a safe space for those who aren't in the Gojou cult. I think my main problem with Gojou is the dissonance between who Gojou is and what he actually stands for or does in the manga, and what a lot of his fans think he is. Also the fact that like two times his fans came at me and actively tried to evangelise the cult of Gojou to me. And like, I've never gone to anyone and tried to convince them to love Kenjaku or Sukuna, or even Yuuji XD

I think Gojou's looks contribute a lot to his popularity, something I personally don't understand, I find the white haired blue eyed anime boy ugly. But Gojou also has very flashy powers. And he's shipped with his friend turned antagonist, and it was all very dramatic and sad.

I think in JJK not only Gojou steals not exactly the spotlight from Yuuji... I don't know how to call it. But Megumi and Yuuta do it too.

My experience with this fandom is that a lot of the fans don't get what JJK is about and what kind of story it is. And they want to squeeze JJK into a certain stereotype of what a shounen manga is supposed to be.

So in that stereotype a shounen manga is one where a very special boy fights (sometimes metaphorically because it's for example football XD) his way through progressively stronger opponents to achieve his goal. The goal can be noble and grand or very personal. The boy also accrues friends along the way who help him fight somewhat but like the boy fights against the boss of the arc. And generally the plot revolves around him and happens around him.

Which some shounen surely are, I'm not super well versed in any genre, but from what I vaguely remember from trying to watch Dragon Ball a long time ago it had that kinda vibe... I wouldn't bet money on my memory of that though. Chainsaw Man also had that vibe to me, and Demon Slayer and Blue Lock - as much as I've seem of those titles.

It's just that I don't even know how statistically relevant that stereotype is. Hunter x Hunter isn't like that, neither is Hell's Paradise. Full Metal Alchemist leans that way at times but isn't really that.

And JJK isn't like that either. It's a story driven by its antagonists - Kenjaku, elders, recently Sukuna- and not its protagonist. It actively deconstructs the myth of the strongest Gojou is as much a product and a problem of the jujutsu society as Sukuna is. People talk that loneliness is the theme in JJK because recently Sukuna's fan club was asking him to cure theirs and he did, for all of them. But what people forget that the theme of loneliness as a motivator started with Yuuji. But the loneliness isn't the only theme. There's this huge discussion of what society should be, what is the place of jujutsu in society and in the world and Kenjaku and Yuuji are at the centre of that. There's the theme of the value of human life that Yuuji is the point of view character for, Nanami, Higuruma and Megumi occasionally chip into that but it's always in the context of Yuuji. There's a huge theme of bodily autonomy in JJK that connects many characters but Yuuji is very much central to it, together with Kenjaku and Yuuji's personal foil Mahito.

Also Yuuji isn't what you'd call a stereotypical shounen protagonist, he's much closer to a stereotypical shoujo protagonist and when you realise that, when you realise what the themes of JJK are, you see that there is no other protagonist of JJK. I'm linking to the ask where I outlined that.

So I think people who talk about Yuuta or Gojou being main characters actually just like these guys and are wowed by their super hyper flashy techniques and don't give much of a shit about what most of the manga is about. With Megumi I think it's because he's a pretends he's an intellectual and says these fake deep broody things while the close up is on his lashes. I mean his technique is super strong and flashy too... when Sukuna uses it because Sukuna is a jujutsu nerd and he actually knows how to use it XD

#answering asks #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #yuuji itadori #jjk gojou #my ramblings