#LIKE WHY DO THEY EXIST THEY DONT DO SHIT THEY KEEP BREAKING OFF WHY THEY MAKE THEM | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arcade-writing · 2 years

Note

hear me out.

Sitting on Jake's lap like an eye candy/escorter type of situation, and hes smoking (most likely a cigar come on we all know that last scene needed it.) he keeps teasing the reader blowing smoke on the face while they tell them to stop it, but he keep doing it and chuckling, reader starts teasing him back (*cough cough grinding on that dick*) and he just goes "you do know where this will go dont you sweetheart?" or some shit like that. and fucks reader silly. possibly some dom acting, maybe pinning reader on the couch and fucking from behind yk? maaaybe some possessiveness, just want to se the man feral yk?

-Elisë

You got it~ I got Jake brainrot and needed an excuse to write more about him. I really shouldn't be surprised this has taken over my brain so much. I can't seem to watch a series without getting overly attached

Smoke and mirrors

🍋NSFW

pairing: Jake lockley X fem! Reader

Warning: possessive behaviour, readers a brat, you use a fake name, dirty talk in Spanish, jerking off, quick blow job, rough angry sex, mirror kink, semi public, alot of Teasing, sadistic Dom! Jake, some degrading, overstimulation, fucks you until you're sobbing and can't take anymore

Reader wears a dress and heels but isn't referred to as a female and Antomy is kept vague

This fic is pretty long so I've added a mark to where the smut begins for anyone who just wants to skip ahead!

You look at the clothes hugging your figure. Empathising traits you already had whilst covering others you weren't too fond of. Your legs always looked so much nicer in heels but they were very unpractical. You knew you could run in them but that wasn't enough. You couldn't risk breaking an ankle on a mission just because you wanted to look pretty.

"The final touch."

Jake appeared behind you, a golden necklace in his hands. You stood as he put it on you, clasping it before his hands smoothed over your shoulders. Your fingers lightly grazed it; it was one half of a moon. You glanced down at Jake's own necklace, it was the other half.

You smiled as you kissed his cheek. Running your hand over the new scruff on his jaw. You turne to face him properly, wiping your thumb just above his lip.

"They're finally growing it out?"

There was the beginning of a moustache. It was thicker than usual whilst his beard was still trimmed. Jake would complain he missed his old facial hair but it wasn't as if he ever fronted long enough to grow one out for himself. Besides, he liked to keep his existence as vague as possible to the two other men.

"They better." He grumbled, placing his hands on your hips.

He gave himself a double over. Combing his hair as he looked at himself through the mirror. Always keeping one hand on you as he did. You couldn't help but roll your eyes, smiling.

"Are you ready?" He asked and you nodded. Taking one last look at yourself before looping your arm with his. He whistled as you left the small apartment, grabbing two coats on the way out.

As soon as you arrived it made sense why you were both so dressed up. The place was massive, glass ceiling and water fountains galore. Jake opened the door for you and you both walked in. How he could get to these kind of places was beyond you. There had to be talk of him in the criminal world.

"Don't say a word, darlin', tonight you're eye candy."

"Easy, I'm that everyday."

You winked at a security guard near by, he tipped his head to you with a smile. You made sure to take note of his face: just incase.

"Yeah but you also don't know when to keep your mouth shut." He kept his words in a low whisper. He didn't even look at you as you both faced straight ahead.

You gasped, faking offence as you pressed a hand to your chest. "You wound me, Mr lockley."

He cringed at the formal title. Rolling his eyes as he walked you through the large corridor. Finally reaching the central hall. The smell of alcohol assulted your nose as you held back the instinct to wince. There were trays of champagne being handed out by diligent waitors. A whole table of foods that cost more than this entire outfit.

Your target was no where in sight. You only glared at the crowd of people, none of them resembling the host. Here you assumed he'd be walking around, greeting his guests but Instead. There wasn't a trace of him. Just fools gambling and discussing bussiness. If they were not doing that then they were getting drunk as they stuffed their faces.

You hated missions like this.

Jake leaned his head towards you, eyeing the crowd. You were still latched to his arm as you sat besides him. Circling your fingers on his chest through his black shirt.

"We got our boy, 10 o'clock."

You followed his gaze and there he was. You took the mental note to complain more, it seems to work in your favour.

The host was making his rounds, finally greetings everyone but as soon as his eyes looked onto you two, he was rushing towards you.

You both stood up, jake held out his hand for the man to take. He eagerly shook it with both hands. You scanned him up and down. He was fairly older man, already greying and wore a prestige red suit. His hands were smooth and nails cleanly cut. Meanwhile Jake had much rougher hands, cuts all over them. Two men of high contrast and yet the other man looked at him as if he was an equal.

"Lockley! Good to see you again, old friend!" He gave his hands another shake before he gestured his hands towards you. "And who's this?"

"My date." He said plainly, squeezing your arm.

"You never turn up empty handed, do you?"

The older man laughed as he shook his head. A mischievous grin grew on his wrinkled face as he looked you up and down. "Got a friend?"

You hid your disgust. You and Jake sharing a knowing look. This was definitely going to be something you ranted about when you got back to the car.

"Just me." Jake chimed back in, not giving you a chance to speak.

As if noticing this Paul, you learned his name when given the mission, completely turned his attention to you. Pulling your hand to his lips as he planted a quick kiss on your knuckles.

"You got a name, sweetheart?"

"Liraz." You kept your voice sweeter than sugar, making sure to linger your touch with his as you gave him a bashful smile.

The meaning of the name didn't get missed. Jake held back his amused smirk as he looked at Paul. You felt a shimmer of pride watching his usual expression crack.

The night went on with you and Jake sticking close to your target. Listening to his endless boasts and speeches as he showed you around. Introducing you to his other friends and partners. You made sure to put on a show, flashing your best smile to them all. Giving each man a taste of your attention. Squeezing and touching their arms, complimenting them on their hair and cologne.

You had this in the bag. Meanwhile Jake was growing more impaitent. He didn't want you to speak, knowing you'd get like this. All flirty with everyone you could wrap around your finger. Charming your way through every crowd. It was one of your best qualities - it's why he picks you for these missions but he couldn't keep the anger that boiled in his viens down. It burnt his very being.

Jealousy was an ugly trait he was more than aquinted with.

As if noticing his rising stress, a waitor came over and offered him a tray of cigarettes and cigars, difft lighters lined perfectly next to them. He took a cigar from the tray, they were already snipped, letting the waitor light it from him. He chewed at the end as he inahled a deep breath of smoke.

You were pressed to Paul. The older man's arm squished against your chest as your hands ever so tightly trailed his body. Paul was smiling at you as you laughed at his comment. Making sure to put more force into it as you patted his chest. Acting as if he was the funniest man you've ever met.

Suddenly, you fell onto Jake's lap. You glanced back at him seeing his grumpy expression. You couldn't help but scoff through your nose as you got comfortable. Thankful how thick his thighs were as you crossed your legs. He wrapped one arm around your waist to help you steady yourself.

This act didn't go unnoticed by the others at the table. Some were disapproving whilst others saw it as amusing. The table all drank meanwhile Jake's hand moved under the slit of your dress, nails dragging against your thigh as he rubbed circles into it. As if trying to soothe himself. Thanks to the height of the table no one could see but even if they could, you doubted they'd care.

"Close your legs." You muttered, feeling your legs go dead.

Jake huffed as he sat straighter, no longer exaggerating his man spread. Helping you get more comfortable as your legs now straddle his. You leaned to the side to make sure he was still visible. He hugged your waist he listened to the people's conversion. Tracing their words into your skin to memorise it.

He let out a long drag of his cigar, blowing it towards your face with a small grin. You blew it away from you with your hand, matching his expression as you squeezed the hand on your waist.

As the conversation went on, you took his place in listening in. He talked with a lazy tone; always pushing the conversion back to them. You piped up whenever you saw an opportunity. Making the men puff their chest as they boasted about their newest bussiness.

Whenever you talk Jake would blow smoke into your face. You wanted to snap at him as the smell engulfed your senses. A slight sting to your eyes but you settled on a much more acceptable response. After all, they knew you as his date.

As he blew another puff you grabbed his chin, a tight grip to warn him of your growing aggravation. Even if you couldn't bring yourself to ever be truly mad at him, he knew not to test you too much. His eyes widened for a second as your lips pressed against his, the smoke pouring into your mouth. It was disgusting. But you leaned back to your original position, exhaling it out quickly to the side.

Jake's grip on you tightened, causing you to completely lean on him. Your ass brushing his crotch as he clinged to you.

You had a weird taste in men. You had to admit. This kind of thing always got to you. His possessive nature kicking in and making him hold you close. Wanting to show you off. You were sure if he could he would cover you in hickies everyday to make sure people got the picture but that wasn't possible. It made you shiver with delight as your heart raced.

Your body was moving before you could even think. Your slowly rolled your hips back as you grinded against him.

"¿De verdad quieres jugar a este juego, cariño?" He mumbled, eyeing the others to make sure they couldn't hear him. (Do you really want to play this game, honey?)

His teeth clenched around his cigar as he placed his hand on your lower stomach. Helping you keep a good pace. A reminder to not get lost in the feeling.

"You gotta tell me, Lockley, where did you find this one?"

"A warehouse."

They all snickered, believing his dead tone to be sarcasm. You stiffened as you stared at them. If only they knew that was exactly where he found you.

"Give me the location and I'll see if they got any Liraz in stock." One of the men spoke up, at the end of table. He also had a woman with him but she looked much more miserable than you felt.

Jake sucked in a breath as he gripped your hip. Moving your hips for you. You couldn't say you were that shocked. But apart of you was grateful. You tried to only focus on the stimulation you were receiving. Your nails digging into his leg as you forced back a moan.

Jake's dark eyes shot over to him. His brows scrunching slightly. Saving the conversation in his mind and his face. He tapped your thigh three times; a signal to a possible new target.

"Unless, you're willing to give me yours, I'll pay you generously." The man kept his tone light, able to pass it off as a joke as the others looked between you two amused.

Another one chiming out they'll pay double. All laughing at eachother. You and Jake both knew this was a table full of scumbags. All of them - this entire mansion was filled with them. Every guest was apart of some sort of organisation.

"You couldn't afford." His accent was thicker than ever. A sign of his anger rising. "None of you could."

You bit your lip as you felt him get hard. A wick joy came over you knowing if you moved it would be visible for anyone to see.

"A one of a kind, huh? How unfortunate." The man at the end of table spoke. He sounded disappointed, as if he truely believed Jake would give you up.

Your movements stopped. Fighting back a frown as you looked down at the man's hands. It made you sick to your stomach. The man beside you didn't even need to look at you to know you felt. He caressed your thigh as he hid behind you, just enough to kiss your shoulder. You immediately melted. Letting out a breath as he whispered against your skin.

He took another drag of his shrinking cigar. It was on its last life as he kept the smoke in with clenched teeth. He blew it towards you once more, your lips immediately twitched. Before you could even retort he chucked the cigar bud into an ash tray.

"I need some air." Was all he said as he stood up. Causing you to stumble off his lap. You didn't even need to worry about covering him, he kept his grip on you tight.

"Oh? Something the matter, friend?"

Paul asked, looking genuinely worried. He seemed like a nice guy when he wasn't having innocent people killed to grow his bussiness.

"Too much smoke."

The host called over a guard, asking him to take you two to one of the nearest bedrooms. He turned to you clarifying it has a balcony. You nodded as Jake whisked you away. Walking with one single thing in his mind.

*~~~(smut here)

As soon as the door closed behind you, he was shoving you towards the lounge chair in the middle of the room. You landed with a small oof. Jake knocked on the wall and paused. Locking the door as he started grinning to himself. He looked back at you with a wild look in his eyes.

"Take off your clothes."

You stuttered out a noise of suprise. You really shouldn't be. You knew exactly what doing that would do. You couldn't stand being in that room and all you wanted was to focus on him. The target could wait. You had all night to blow this place up.

"you heard me. i told you to take off your clothes."

His voice was deep. It made you shiver as you fumbled with the zipper at the back. Practically throwing the dress off as you kicked it to a random spot on the floor. Your heels flying off with it.

"All of them."

He didn't move an inch. Watching you as you took off your underwear. Moonlight pouring in through the balcony was the only source of light you had. Just about able to see his face as he stood in the shadows.

The cold air nipped at your exposed skin. Fingers digging into the cushion bellow you. Waiting with baited breath for his next move. The first thing he did was throw off his jacket. His footsteps echoing through the room as you looked up at him.

He curled a finger towards himself and you immediately followed. On your hands and knees before him, he didn't say anything. Still figuring out what he wanted to do with you. Your hands wondered up, unbuttoning his shirt one by one. Trailing your fingers along his exposed chest as you took his shirt off.

He snarled as he looked down at you. Yanking his pants down just enough to free himself. It slapped your cheek making you gasp. He pulled your head back with a tight grip, his other hand began pumping his cock.

"Apologize."

"For?" You grinned as his brows scrunched.

"Don't be a brat."

He hissed out. His climax already reaching its peak. Just dangling off the very edge as he squeezed along his cock. Thrusting into his closed fist as his thumb caressed the tip.

Jake grunted as he felt the band in his stomach tighten. “open your mouth-!"

You glared at him in defiance. He pulled your head back rougher this time. You let out a yelp as he pushed the head of his cock to your lips. You opened your mouth as wide as you could as your tongue rolled out. Sending him right over the edge as he spilled on your face.

But that wasn't enough. He pushed your head down, you sucked on the head with a moan. Slurping as much as you could to get every last drop.

You knew he was going to be rough but this? Oh it was amazing. You bopped your head up and down as you hummed. Swirling your tongue as he fought back cumming again.

He pried you off. You were grinning whilst he breathed heavily through his nose. Calming down his nerves as you gave his dick little kitten licks. You knew you were testing his restraint. But you couldn't really care. He wanted to be annoying? Well, now it's your turn.

Your back landed back on the sofa. He climbed over the arm of the chair to join you. Standing on the cushion, still looking displeased. You held back a snicker as you wiggled your hips. His eyes immediately following your movement.

“Be a good slut and spread your legs” He tapped your leg with his foot. Shoes still on. Despite your attitude he was still putting in faith you'll do as he says.

He knew exactly what you wanted. You wanted him to control you. No matter how bratty you behaved, it was all a plea for him to fuck you. You both knew it. It's why he coud keep some form of paitence. It was all but a game of back and forth.

You stretched out, humming as you arched your back Getting more comfortable as you rested your head on the pillows by the other arm of the chair. Jake scoffed as he muttered something to himself. You were too happy to care for what he said.

Spreading your legs to reveal your arousal. As he began to bend down you rubbed your foot up his thigh. He grabbed your ankle to keep your leg in the air as he finally kneeled. Nudging your other leg to move further.

You felt completely exposed like this. Gasping as his fingers circled your hole. Cum still sticky on his hand. You tried to hold back your moan as you looked at the door.

“These walls are pretty thick." He pointed out, chuckling to himself as he pressed one finger into you. "Means you and i can be as loud as we want, tesoro.”

You let out a hum as your back arched. Your hands unable to decide where to go, trailing them up your body as you squeezed and brushed whenever you could. Knowing that Jake would want nothing more for your hands to be his.

"Seems like you're more eager than I am." You grinned, pointing down at his cock. It was red with need as it stayed pressed against his stomach.

Your grin was completely slapped off your face as he thrusted in a second finger. Sliding them in and out as he worked you open. Knowing you'll need prep for you could take him fully. Your mouth was stuck as an 'o'. His fingers moving quick and deep inside you.

"what pretty noises you're making for me… am i making you feel good?"

He plunged until he was knuckles deep. Keeping them there for a few moments as your legs twitched before he moved once again.

Your head rolled back as your back arched more violently. His fingers just brushing that sweet spot. Your rolled your hips hoping he could reach but it was futile. But what surprised you was that you caught your own reflection. You could see what he was doing, just about, watching his fingers slide in and out of you.

“i love the way you look with my fingers inside you."

You mewled as you shut your eyes. Your hand rising to cover your burning cheeks. Looking back at him. His eyes were focused on what he was doing, licking his lips. He glanced up to see your face hidden.

Jake put your leg to his shoulder as he reached out. Moving your hand away as he pinned your wrist to the sofa.

"don't you hide that cute face from me, ¿No quieres verme?" (Don't you want to see me?)

He teased. Prodding a third finger you squirmed away as you felt completely stuffed. You doubt you could take anymore but it felt so good. He could reach so deep like this and with three fingers - oh god he was filling you up. But it only made you feel more desperate to have him actually inside you. His dick would feel so much better than his fingers. It could actually reach that spot that made you see stars.

He suddenly pulled out. You let out a whine as you grabbed at his wrists. Unable to reach due to your position. "No-!"

He just grinned. Aligning himself to your entrance. Never putting himself in, just rubbing it against you.

"Want it? Does my little slut want my big cock? Want me to fill ya up, Mi amor?"

You shook your head. Brain buzzing as your words died in your throat. You wanted him so bad but you refused to admit it. Still wanting to aggravate him. You couldn't stop it. It was so much fun to watch him lose his composure. To utterly take over your body and use you as he pleases.

"No?" His grin began to strain. "Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

It was so easy to push his buttons. Your stomach fluttered as he glared at you.

"Like you're going to die if I don't fuck you."

He took hold of your hips as you were suddenly flipped over. Pulling your butt towards him as your head was propped up by the pillows.

You wiggled your hips as you rolled them back. Brushing yourself against his needy cock. He let out a groan as he finally pressed himself in. Barely giving you time to adjust before he thrusted forward.

"¿No es esto lo que quieres? ¿Por qué si no te mueles contra mí como una puta, HUH?". (Isn't this what you want? Why else would you grind against me like a fucking slut, HUH?!)

His thrusts were violent. Your body jolting forward with each one. You clawed at the sofa as you bit your trembling lip. Oh god it felt so good! You loved it when he was like this - so cruel. So selfish with your body.

You needed more!

"¡Obligándome a ver cómo coqueteas con todas esas escorias con una sonrisa en la cara! ¡Sabiendo exactamente lo que me hará!". ( Forcing me to watch you flirt with all those scumbags with a smile on your face! Knowing exactly what it'll do to me!)

He grabbed your chin, making you lock eyes with yourself. You could see his expression as he fucked you. Baring his teeth as he glared down at your body with nothing but pure hateful desire. He wanted to ruin you. Leave you sobbing and begging for his forgiveness.

A sadistic smile grew on his face as he made sure you were watching him. "This is the face of a bitch who's only talent is taking dick."

You clenched around him, his words going straight to your crotch. You flashed him a large smile as you mouthed 'hi'. He growled as he slammed his cock back into you making you let out a scream.

"Sigue gritando así, amor, y tal vez alguien entre". (Keep screaming like that, love, and maybe someone will come in)

You both knew that wasn't going to happen but the slight chance made your heart skip a beat. Fear and excitement rushing through you as you couldn't stop the loud moans spilling from your lips.

You were completely his. No one else's. You couldn't imagine anyone being able to make you feel this way.

"¿Quieres eso? ¿Quieres que la gente vea lo bien que te follo? Que todos sepan que eres mía". (You want that, you want people to see how good I fuck you? Let everyone know you're mine)

"Oh god- yes-! Jake you fucking own me-!"

He pulled your back to his chest. Your hands held you up as you gripped the sofa. He kept his hand tight on your chin as he nibbled your ear. Trailing kisses down your jaw before biting down. You cried out as he sucked on the mark.

Jake let out a shaky moan as you clenched. Being able to hit your g-spot from his position. Your body bounced as you were left to be fucked like a toy. His hips slamming up into yours. Skin smacking against each other drowned out from the noises you were making.

"You like it when i fuck you like this? yeah you do." His voice was gruff as he became breathless.

He joined you in watching your reflection. Loving the way he could see himself fuck you. Watching his cock disappear into your hole. How sloppy it sounded. How good and warm you felt.

"Oh cariño, puedo sentirlo-". (Oh honey, I can feel it)

His hips stuttered as the familiar knot in your stomach tightened.

"¿Quieres correrte? Puedes hacerlo, córrete en mi polla.". (You want to cum? You can do it, cum on my cock)

You moaned as your nails dug into the fabric. Your breath knocked out of you as you felt your climax crash over you. Sensitivity creeping as he made no move to stop. Chasing his own desperate release.

He was still hitting your insides so deep. You trembled as you slipped from his grasp. He kept his hands to your hips as you used the sofa as support.

Jake was no longer seething with jealousy. He hasn't been for awhile. He just enjoyed making you like this. But that doesn't mean he won't punish you for being an a brat this entire time.

"you can give me another one, can't you toots?"

He bit down on your shoulder. You let out a cry as your second climax ripped through you. You were far too sensitive now. Unable to catch your breath as he stayed relentless. You could hardly move. Limp as you tried to squirm away. Your mind unable to tell what it wanted as you rolled your hips. It felt so good but it was too Much. Your skin was on fire.

"Hurts-!" Everything did. The iron grip on your hips. The bites he left on you. Your head from where he yanked you around. Your jaw and throat were sore from how much you've screamed. The pleasure was painful.

Deliciously painful. Fat tears rolled down your cheeks as you whined.

"aw, it hurts?" His voice soft as his hands loosened. He kissed your shoulder, exactly where he bit it. Whispering words of encouragement as you moved your body in time with him.

You nodded. Letting out choked sobs as he kept drilling into you. It wasn't long before his movements became sloppy. Growling and grunting as he chased his release. Pressing against you as he finally came. Cum filling your worn out hole causing a third climax to be time from you.

Before he shoved your hips back. Taking in his entire length after he pulled out. "What a shame, you're gonna keep taking it until i’m satisfied, got it?"

He pulled out with a sigh. Helping you lay down more comfortably. Cradling you close to his chest as you panted. Your legs were shaking and twitching.

"I'm sorry...." Your voice came out meak. Unable to muster your voice anything above a whisper. "I love you, im yours."

Jake kissed your forehead as he ran his hand up and down your hips. "It's okay, I love you too."

You snuggled closer to him, smiling as you finally felt content. Jake let you rest, waiting until he heard a soft snore before redressing himself. Folding up your clothes and placing them near by. He looked down at your underwear, pocketing it before he finally wrapped a nice blanket around your sleeping form.

He gave you one last kiss before he took out his gun. Checking it's bullets as he marched out. Making sure to check the lock. It was time to fulfil his duty and he didn't need you to see the destruction he was about to bring.

#moon knight jake lockley #moon knight jake #jake lockley moon knight #jake lockley #jake lockely x reader #jake smut #jake x reader #moon knight episode 6 #moon knight x reader #moon knight x y/n #moon knight #moon knight smut

723 notes · View notes

erasawordsmithofsorts · 2 months

Text

this is a really long post and you dont have to read it, its more of a word vomit towards the end but its really detailing my experiences with 5sos c: (its kind of sad but it means a lot to me that i finally put this into words)

i love 5sos. like a lot more than i could put into words. i have such a long and extensive history with this band that its just so much, like.

ive been a fan of 5sos since july 15th, 2014. i was 5/6 years old sitting on the front porch of my grandma's house with this girl i was friends with. she showed me some of their songs and i was in love. i didnt stop listening to them for years, they were my everything. idols, best friends, family, everything. and the only reason i stopped listening to them ever is because of some really heavy traumatic events that happened to me when i was 8-10 years old.

fast forward a few years, i start dating this guy. this guy really liked 5sos, he got me back into 5sos. my brain was so traumatized, it blocked out most of my memories with this band, with the fans of this band, etc. and him getting me to listen to their entire discography? yeah that brought them flooding back.

yet i still stayed, with him and the band again. this guy became really toxic. we argued every night, he blatantly ignored my needs, he got mad at me for getting more 5sos streams than him, he made fun of me for only listening to their old stuff. he acted like i hadnt told him, "hey, some really fucked up things happened to me in 2014-2016 and i forgot pretty much everything from those years so i kind of obsess over them"

but me and this guy were ldr, my mom took my phone, i texted him through a friends' phone. he starts cheating on me. i come back, my mom is having heart surgery, and he tells me i have to break up with him. so i do.

i break up with him, i go through the shit, i get pissed off, i get upset, i cry. i cry a LOT. and for a bit i didnt listen to 5sos. and then i get back into 5sos, because im not gonna change who i am at my very core because some idiot guy who was 'there first' made it about him. i'll make it about me again, i will obsess over it, i will go back to being six years old crying on the front porch with my best friend. i will go back to being a kid who didnt know why people didnt like her.

and i did. im back there, im who six year old me dreamed of being. sure, i have my days where the only thing i can do is cry and try not to hurl myself down a flight of stairs, but im still here arent i? ive made it to the age i always dreamed about being, havent i? im still absolutely in love with the same exact bands, the same exact places, the same exact aesthetics.

5sos is why im me, like that is such a beautiful and poetic thing to me. im still here because of a band, im still here because some guys that at the time were across the world gave me some motivation to keep going? of course im gonna love them. of course im gonna advertise the shit out of them. of course im gonna know every detail i possibly can about them.

like, i mean yeah, i took a little break. but i was forced to by my own brain. and even then, what helped me start healing form that trauma? 5sos. what helped me start healing from that breakup? 5sos.

tw for s/h + suicidal stuff under the cut! its nothing bad bad, just mentions attempts and stuff but its talking about getting better :3 tl;dr in bottom of the cut!

its so weird to say that "this guy who doesnt even know i exist, saved my life" but its true sometimes. like i was in such a bad place when i was younger that i couldnt function. yearly, i was being checked into psych wards. they never helped. i tried therapy, i tried medication. nothing worked.

and then 5sos came back into my life and i finally felt whole again. i finally felt like i was me again. i had been self harming since i was in the third grade, and once you cope like that for so long, its really hard to stop.

but i finally made the decision to get clean, i finally said "enough is enough, i dont want to be like this anymore. i wanna live and be healthy, i wanna live and be happy, i wanna wear shorts, i wanna wear skirts, i wanna wear short sleeves and tanks, i want to wear dresses without sleeves that show my thighs a little. and would ashton or luke or michael or calum really want me to do this to myself? no, no they wouldnt, get your shit together era." and so i did? i got it together, i made my life work. i started looking for the good again, i started behaving like a little kid that knew no bounds again, i started acting my age. i started loving me again. and thats powerful? thats metal as fuck.

the app that i use to track my clean streak has a section for "reasons to stay clean" i have pictures of my friends, my animals, and most importantly, the guys that finally inspired me to pick myself up off the floor and put myself back together.

because i did, i really had to scrounge up the broken pieces. i really had to dig deep and try and piece them back together. and it took work, and im still working on it. and even though ive been clean from s/h for three months, the urges are still there and every time theres just that little voice in my head that takes on ashton's that goes "hey dont, its not the right way." and every time i feel like the world is over, like i dont have anything else, it's always just a reminder.

there will be something else, no matter what theres gonna be something else. no matter what, the suns gonna rise again. no matter what, something good will come of all your pain, all your struggles, all your heartbreak, all the tears. the sleepless nights, the trauma, the guilt, the anger, the fear, the sadness, all of it. it means youre human, it means youre alive. it means good things are gonna happen, you just gotta wait for it. you gotta pick yourself up and keep going. keep fighting, keep running, keep walking. hell if you have to, keep crawling. keep crawling while youre crying. dont look back, youre not going that way. think of how far your faves have come, think of how your younger self wants to know what theyre gonna grow up to be. think.

its not over, it will never be over. pain is human, youre human. youre experiencing life as it was meant to be experienced, its okay to have off days.

tl;dr 5sos + me have been together since i was six and ashton irwin has quite literally kept me alive and from destroying myself mentally and physically for nearly ten years. cool beans bro

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sosfam #luke 5sos #ashton 5sos #calum 5sos #michael 5sos #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #calum hood #michael clifford #word vomit #stream of consciousness #late night thoughts #era talks about 5sos saving her life for the second time #era's blog #era posting #-era

13 notes · View notes

jakowskis · 22 days

Text

Day 13 - Favorite ship(s)? Any Torchwood OTPs? Go ahead, gush about them!

dude i multiship so hard in this fandom i dont think there’s a single combination i havent thought of + found a way to enjoy, and that extends to trios. AND i like tw poly. i am mashing them together like barbie dolls. i am having sm fun here in my room

even the ones i don’t exactly “like” still make me Feel Things (more on that later), and even the ones i tend to prefer as friends (more on that later, too), i can still see it if i want to yknow. that’s what’s fun about the slutty bisexy show! woo! they all compel me.

nonetheless, here are the pairings i like the most, ranked by how often i think of them + how insane they make me. im not gonna gush a ton, actually, bc i get annoyed w how much i talk, so ill keep every explanation under 15 words

owen x ianto: I Want Them Covered in Blood Together (Gnashing My Teeth) (by fall out boy)

owen x andy: golden retriever boyfriend for owen bc sometimes it’s nice to not be angsty (gooseberry who?)

owen x jack: i dont know how they make me feel but they make me feel Something :/

ianto x tosh: THEY’D BE SO CUTE they’d be precious that’s all

tosh x andy: see above. tosh deserves a sweet bf (there are no girls to ship her with 😔)

owen x suzie: they’re mirrors, they’re the same… they intrigue me. also Hawt xD (im bi)

owen x gwen: better as besties imho but im still a bi moron who’s not immune

jack x ianto: overrated imho BUT i do still like them. sigh. dead line speech wahhh

gwen x rhys: i love their relationship troubles n the way it grounds the show. theyre cute

jack x the doctor: sending jack off to harass the doctor so the team can Rest (+ Im Compelled)

jack x gwen: they compel me a little. a teeny bit. not too much but a little

(can u tell i like owen ships. he just has such fascinating relationships w everyone)

ok i lied ill say a couple things. firstly my otp being owento… i’ve talked a bit about it but in brief it started out because i can't resist having at least one enemies/rivals to lovers ship per fandom and ep12 blew my mind a little - and then something just Clicked and they somehow achieved top ten ships of all time status in my brain?? idk what happened there. i usually go for canon-based ships, so having one that kind of lacks substance in the source media (allegedly; i think they’re fruity in canon. but u know what i mean like theyre not ‘canon’ in a show where there is in fact gay TEXT rather than just the subtextual shit theyre doing yanno) and is largely a beast of my own creation (+ the influence of the wonderful handful of fic writers we’ve had over the years) has been rlly fun.

im largely preoccupied with those two, but i’ve found jack + his relationship with ianto kind of inherently haunts owen x ianto… if you’ve read my fic you know what i mean by that. i can’t see owento existing on its own, like janto fundamentally co-exists next to it so i have to take it into account, and then jack and owen also have a fascinating relationship so i’ve kind of just ended up spending a lot of time thinking about and figuring out owen x ianto x jack in all combinations, because there’s a lot of fascinating stuff going on there from every end. introducing owen to the equation also kind of… ig redeems janto for me, bc i found them offensively underwhelming in s1 and s2. they should be dark and fucked up, and they’re not. owen kind of… brings smth dark and fucked up to the table, and a lot of why i like shipping him with ianto is bc they bring shit out of each other - and owen, for his part, is capable of bringing out ianto’s repressed rage and forcing him to deal with things he’d rather try to compartmentalize and ignore… i find that super compelling, and i also find it useful for breaking down my issues with how jack & ianto’s relationship is initially presented. like, he’s a handy narrative tool for that hfsdjkf. point is, whether i like it or not, jack and his relationships with my girlies (owen n ianto are the girlies <3) is kind of also an intrinsic part of what most of my fixation-oriented brain power goes into thinking about. i’ve been developing this huge fic ‘verse fdhfjk.... Im Very Tired

sometimes i like fun, though, which is what’s behind a lot of those other ships. i’m generally into very dark + angsty + psychological themes, but sometimes fluff and domesticity and occasional silliness is nice, and that’s what’s behind owandy (i have an au where they meet before owen dies) and iantosh (+ gwen x rhys) as my sort of… alternative endgame. my comfort ‘au’. not an au, exactly, but an alternative fluffier world to the darker owento-based one i’ve crafted and spend most of my time thinking about fdshkfj. i also like sending jack off to go bother the doctor, in this ‘au’, because unfortunately i don’t think he’s conductive to the team’s happiness. i think he needs to find his own way to heal and that should probs include the doctor, considering how obsessed jack is with them + how much he needs to unpack All That Shit he has going on before he can be any sort of truly positive force in the lives of the tw team. so for now he’s banned from the polycule for jack crimes. listen, i love that torchwood’s inherently sad and dark and lonely, it’s what compels me, and i’m ultimately glad that’s the core of the show - but it doesn’t have to be. sometimes i enjoy a nicer alternative. i think they could fix it. and that’s what fandom + fanfic is for.

i also have several ot3s i enjoy, mostly owen ones. i think he deserves a bf + a gf, i think it’d fix him. put that bitch in a bisexual sandwich and maybe he'd behave. in particular, i love owen x tosh x ianto, it’s the only place i ship owen/tosh bc i think ianto would keep owen in check and they’d all better each other. i love owen x tosh x andy for similar reasons. can you tell the four characters im biased towards fhdskj. (i love gwen just as much but she’s kind of doing her own thing with just rhys and jack imo fdkfjsd. perhaps torchwood is composed of two polycules and jack is the link between both of them)

#tdot #txt #take a shot every time i say compel fhsdkjfds

11 notes · View notes

goldmanguyperson · 3 months

Text

hot flag list

no particular order

this does not indicate my support for any government or ideology. im a leftist anarchist, in simple terms. i offer no apologia to any government ever

explanation: i am objectum for flags and conceptum for countries

please look at my list and weep. if i must live in a world with borders and ethnostates and horrible governments, please at least let me lessen the burden by finding something to love

people’s republic of china

i am obligated to have this on the list by my boyfriend’s mandate

it is a nice one

i love stars

im not that connected to china beyond my boyfriend but because of my boyfriend this flag must be hot

estonia

the bold color choices make me very happy

i might not wanna be with it but i do admire it in the way i may ogle a guy from far away

sadly im not very connected to the nation itself

chechnya

i love the design on the left side (I KNOW THE LEFT SIDE OF A FLAG HAS A NAME I FORGOT IT. i think it is fly?)

oh… the way the white eztends out from the left to make a perfect border! i lvoe you. a little kiss

Free the Chechen people from Russia now

amerca

ok first of all BLM and free Palestine and give the damn land back to the natives

the big one

i cannot properly explain to you why im here exactly

it is such a lovely flag to me despite its chaos

i count each alternation of the stripes and each star knowing well enough how many there are already cuz it was drilled into me as a citizen of this nation. i do it because i love this flag intensely. I lose count because i have dyscalculia and patterns fuck with my vision

i am very connected to this country. the US as a concept and place makes me feel very intensely

I wish the US were better

I would plunge the knife in and weep like i just had to kill my love. because i did. i love you

Russia (three major forms)

ok first off Слава Україна and every nation affected by Russia and all its previous incarnations uh. i had a weeks or months long anxiety attack and then depression spell when i heard russia was actually invading ukraine. The time is all really blurry now. probably worse than usual

obviously im really really intensely emotionally connected to russia and it brings me extreme pain to think about now. but as russia is beaten back it has made me feel better

Such beautiful blues and reds and color combinations

The modern and imperial russian flags are really good in their use of white. though it does look like one’s bald and one’s hairy. kind of like the alternation of russian leaders. but interrupted by so much fucking red holy shit

The red is so rich in this version. I dont know why they didnt keep it for the rest of the ussr’s existence, cuz they didnt. wtf

Really beautiful star. i want to see this star embroidered. i wanna look at the threads

russia you are beautiful. please get better

I love these flags

I love you

Give me your strongest face, not your most attemptedly powerful one. life has been so hard but you don’t need to make it harder. break the downward spiral!!

Please

#objectum #conceptum #objectum flag #objectum country #<- are there already names for this? i have literally no clie

8 notes · View notes

spacedlexi · 9 months

Note

Would love to hear u talk more about Clem and Minnie mirroring one another if u haven’t already 🦅

i have Not >:) cracks knuckles

talking about minnie can be hard since she Really only exists in eps 3 and 4. eps 1 and 2 keep the twins pretty mysterious we only learn a few things about them. i think the most important thing we know about them tho is that they (or at least minnie) provided a sense of relief for the ericson kids. tenn saying how minnie would sing them "dont be afraid" when they were feeling scared. i think its safe to assume she wrote the song Specifically to have a way to make the other kids feel better when things were rough

when the twins die the kids lose this emotional support and we can tell its been hard on all of them (some more than others). but then in comes clementine. our girl whos been carrying the "light in the darkness" motif since season 1. and although she got that shit a little dirty in seasons 2 and 3 (ava going off in s3 about how clem and aj are light and hope and shit so we're still supposed to see it (and recognize that clem has become so Dark in s3 without aj)), she got her light back when she got aj back and she'll die protecting him

clem (and aj) fall very quickly into the hole the twins left. now its clem who makes them feel safe. first with finding them food then protecting them against the raiders ("youre our savior clem" "we were more scared than we let on when you met us. you made that go away"). its not an accident theyre put up in the twins room. and with the way violet grabs the frame and looks at it sadly we can even assume clem sleeps in minnies old bed (also the old torn down paintings seem to only be on ajs side of the room and hes got his whole "i wanna be an artist too" thing going on). clem has unintentionally taken on minnies old role of making the kids feel safe and reassured

then we finally meet minnie. and based on how the others described her there is definitely a piece of herself that shes lost (that shes killed). her light is gone now. and although her motivations have been warped, they remain the same. i do genuinely believe she is still trying to protect the ericson kids and do whats best for them, but just in the only way she thinks she can to stop more people from dying. she might even think the pros of living with the delta are worth the cons. clementine is the one teaching them to fight back but minnie knows from experience that fighting back just gets you killed, so she feels like if she can just stop clementine then everything will be fine ("youre the FUCKING problem here" "i wont let you get them all killed" and she does seem genuinely concerned if clem and vi are fighting in the cell. and obviously we know she doesnt want anything to happen to tenn). both minnie and clem want to protect the ericson kids they just have conflicting opinions about which is the right way to do it. but minnie Does show her ass when she ends her "if you just do what they say you can live" speech with "you can be rewarded just like i am" 👀 oh girl... she didnt just give up she gave in. killing sophie was her breaking point and i really wish we knew more about how that scene went down outside of lillys dramatic retelling i would like to see it objectively please. but based on the way lilly tells it, minnie (im sure begrudgingly) accepted her place at the delta before it even came to that, and was probably just pulled along by sophie when she tried to escape. which is probably why (im assuming) lilly gave her the choice to kill sophie to stay with the delta (her New family), and she did... she kills a piece of herself when she does this (only compounded by the twin imagery), and i think her seeing clem fight back reminds her of sophie and brings all those feelings to the surface. and if she can just kill clem everything will be ok, cuz it worked last time....

minnie singing "dont be afraid" when attacking them on the bridge. a song that once brought them peace now being used to herald death. but since she approaches already singing it she was probably singing it to soothe herself as she succumbs to her bite, walking away from the wreckage she blames on clem, her delta family dead (she Did care about them in a fucked up way), using a herd of walkers against them the same way clem used a herd of walkers to attack the boat. all minnie cares about at this point is finding tenn, and she does, and shes gonna take him with her. just like clem looking for aj, finding him, and taking him. but where clem would die to protect aj, minnie wants to kill tenn to take him "home" with her. add to this ajs feelings about ending up alone without clem and wanting to be walkers together if it came to it. this is why tenn dying on the bridge feels narratively fulfilling to me even tho i hate it 😭 tenn wants to be with minnie (and sophie and their parents) and death doesnt scare him. it kinda comforts him. him and minnie dying together here is like the dark fate clem and aj barely avoid

and then vi fitting into this as she became tenns caretaker after the twins left. she also wants whats best for him so her and minerva fighting at the end for tenn is interesting. especially since violet (and louis but he wasnt tenns caretaker the way vi was) can die throwing him over the gap. i like the layers violet adds to being in the bridge scene, and it makes it even more sad when she cant protect him because thats all shes been trying to do since before clem and aj even showed up. plus aj shooting tenn puts violet in a similar position to louis in regards to marlons death

i really love the ways violets route adds to all the minnie and tenn stuff. and the way we can see clems influence change her. how a saved violet is ready to fight with clem but a kidnapped violet believes in minnies goals and thinks giving up is the safest plan for everyone. because regardless if you save her or not violet ALSO wants to keep the ericson kids safe and just doesnt know the best way to do it. clem encourages violet to step up and minnie encourages violet to give up (warping her character growth which is why i cant Not save her 😭 and the betrayal of it all). using violet as a common denominator is another way to differentiate between clem and minnie. then throw the romance on top of that.... you can see why i get a little...Sillay.. this is ALSO why i dont like vinerva in any romantic capacity post the events of ep3 and why i love seeing vi with clem. its what they each encourage in her. minnies weakness, clems strength.... why seeing vi and minnie fight clem makes me want to cry but seeing clem and vi fight minnie makes me jump off the walls LETS GOOO

and i havent even talked about lilly yet.... how if lee took lilly up on her offer in S1 about stealing the RV together clem couldve ended up in her custody.... i definitely believe clem looks at minnie and sees some broken scared part of herself in there. she is Fiercely Loyal and would do anything for her family so if she was raised (or broken) in that environment (and it seems very "ends justify the means" with the delta as it sounds like its actually pretty good over there if you can look past the intimidation and torture and kidnapping) i could definitely see her being the one standing behind lilly in some other universe. its what lilly still tries to do with her but its too late (and so lilly tries it with aj instead which is still a way to get to clem). but clems grown now and shes been making her own choices for a long time. shes already been through this with the new frontier (and hell even with carver at howes). she'd die before she gave in. and minnie made the choice to kill her sister to save herself

even with the little info we actually have on minnie she still works pretty well as a foil to clem. this is why i find it easier to talk about minnie when comparing her to clem like i feel like its her main purpose. i feel like theres still more i could say its just eluding me. its not a coincidence that minnie almost takes clem down with her in the end. why shes the reason clems able to get bit. minnie blames clem for her own demise and she's gonna get in one last fuck you. and minnies fate is one clem is desperately trying to avoid. kinda 👀 to be taken down by your narrative foil

#even visually they put clem and minnie as opposites with clem inheriting marlons bow and minnie using a crossbow (tlou pt2 also did this)#they even give minnie clems haircut given to her by javi in s3 lol which just makes it a clean version of clems currently growing cut #and i cant talk about minnie without also mentioning violet like i Have to they are pretty intertwined she really adds depth to it all #sorry to do this to your dashes but also im not 👁👁#twdg #anon i hope you didnt think i ignored your message i hope you thought 'oh shes writing an ESSAY essay'#pasting this into word just in case tumblr fucks it up...this is 1430 words 😭 bro why cant i be like this for like important things #replies with lexi #incognito #god i STILL feel like im forgetting shit which is WILD there should NOT be this much to say...yet here i am...

30 notes · View notes

luvlyhyunjin · 1 month

Note

fuck is yeosang gonna break yeji’s heart now that she loves him? and is he gonna force y/n to be with him in exchange for keeping quiet about everything?

as much as yeji has been crazy annoying the last few chapters, i really feel sorry for her. tbh she’s the main victim in this shit show. like ofc i want hyunjin to know about the bet and everything bc y/n and hyunjin angst is top tier, but also if i was yeji i’d feel humiliated not only by the bet itself but also the fact that people knew about it and didn’t tell me.

idk if it was intentional but i think you’ve done a really good job of subtly showing how alone yeji probably feels rn. the only person paying attention to her atm is yeosang and that’s a trap in itself considering he treats her like shit and is hot and cold with his attention towards her anyway. she’s essentially in a lose-lose situation. and ofc hyunjin has a lot on his plate rn so it’s understandable that talking to yeji isn’t a priority, but i do think he needs to talk to her about her relationship with yeosang at some point. she’s his best friend and he also can somewhat tell it’s toxic relationship since he doesn’t live under a rock lmao. a bit of tough love is great and it’s good that he’s been telling her straight up that yeosang is a bad person and that she’s been lowkey weird since dating him. but as a friend he should also be there for her to seek advice from about concerns in her relationship, and not always dismiss it as simply yeosang’s a dick and you shouldn’t date him. but since he’s made it bluntly clear he hates yeosang and doesn’t want to hear about them she probably feels like she can’t confide in him if she needs to. idk i’m rambling but basically i think it’s completely fine for hyunjin to not prioritise her rn bc of the shitshow going on in his life atm, but i also feel sympathetic for yeji who’s in a manipulative relationship and probably feels isolated since hyunjin has been so dismissive towards her.

and she doesn’t even know about the bet yet so imagine how isolated and humiliated she’ll feel once she does find out. that she defended yeosang and damaged her friendship with hyunjin just for it to blow up in her face. ofc hyunjin will be there for her when that happens but i also feel like she’ll be mad at herself for not believing hyunjin and for ignoring the signs that yeosang is a bad person.

as much as she’s been a nuisance lately, at the end of the day she’s a victim of a toxic relationship and a bet she isn’t even aware of. 🖤

I agree with you yeji is quite literally the ultimate victim in all of this she got played and tossed around first bc of yns misplaced anger and now with yeosang's obsession AND SHE DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING SHE JUST EXISTED 😩 i feel so bad for her fr which is why i also have a soft spot for her tbh as for hyunjin situation i think two major traits that play part in the way he acts is the fact that he''s stubborn and strong headed he's the type of person that just needs to time to cool off and soften up so i do see him calming down and talking to yeji a bit later given he really cares about her and its shown a lot specially at the start where he was going head to head with yn for yejis sake🤧 with yeji tho i dont feel like shes gonna open up about yeo soon only because he probably made her feel crazy with all the love bombing at first and now being cold she isnt sure if its real or in her head which is so sad honestly :( i love reading your thoughts after every part i find myself agreeing with you a lot so thank you for writing 🖤

3 notes · View notes

piastriblogging · 2 years

Text

yukierre get married in vegas

they do it as a joke but also they’re super drunk and just like the karaoke everyone encourages them bcs it’s good content like ilies vlogs the whole thing but the footage is subpar and they all believe that thing that’s like it’s not actually a real wedding

except it is and they find out after abu dhabi and laugh about and then a few hrs later yuki has pierre cornered somewhere and says something nonchalantly about annulment and pierre avoids him for the whole winter break

it’s easier, if he avoids him, to pretend yuki really wanted to marry him. or that he doesn’t exist, whichever is less painful at any given moment in time.

AND IT SUCKS ESPECIALLY bcs hed convinced yuki to move TO milan, FINALLY. and alpine keeps trying to get him to move closer to their HQ and he keeps saying no and they keep saying at least france and he keeps saying no…. but…

anyways it’s stupid of him to think he can avoid this and his friends tell him so but he can’t help it he just keeps thinking if he doesn’t see yuki then yuki can’t tell him he doesn’t actually want him in any ways that’s emotionally real and he just. he can’t. not now.

and he can’t avoid yuki forever because they’re best friends and legally married in the united states and live in the same city that’s only so big so running into each other is inevitable

i’m imagining a scenario where they run into each other and yuki talks pierre into going to some sort of cafe or something. idk. 😐 i’ve never been to italy. but they talk and get coffee and it’s very awkward until yuki is just like you cannot avoid me, you tell me to move to milan and then you don’t even hang out with me i thought we were joking about the whole not inviting me to your house thing. and pierre can’t rlly say anything except sorry bcs he doesn’t want to lie… but it’s fine bcs it’s yuki and he’s got no clue why pierre is being so weird and he’s been busy so he’s jsut like. DONT do it again 😠😤

and the rest of brunch is good and fun and then when they’re about to part, yuki is like oh also we should take care of the annulment before the season starts, nyck knows someone who knows a lawyer who can take care of it all for us and pierre feeling like shit just nods

at the end of the day pierre will do whatever it takes to get yuki’s eyes on him, hands on him, attention on him. he always wants more but he’s also a good catholic boy and will take what he’s given. he goes to confession and tells the father he’s been greedy and selfish and he says fifteen hail marys and leaves €300 in the donation bucket and tells himself he will not make this a problem anymore

if they would just idk have sex about it they would be fine but they WONT bcs yuki likes to play hard to get and pierre is so catholic it’s killing him.

actually i’m starting to think this is maybe 100 degrees off from actual pierre characterization bcs tbh he does often go for what he wants. but i feel like it might be different w yuki where he’s been messing around about it for so long that to make it serious is to risk their entire friendship. like chasing instagram models is easy bcs there’s always another instagram model. but yuki is the only yuki he has.

anyways after the annulment pierre goes back to flirting w yuki 24/7 ala 2022 and it’s whiplash from ignoring him practically all winter but like. he’s got nothing to lose there’s nothing between them they fucked and they got married and now they’re not married and not fucking

i’ve thought about it too hard and lost the original plot of the movie but anyways ensue an insane year of pierre desiring yuki carnally and yuki being still mostly passive but probably actually more responsive than before bcs like. babes they got married so…

blah blah blah idk idk idk they have insane sex blah blah blah talk about feelings yada yada tada happy ending ????

#tbh i have no grasp on character here. like this is not at all making any sense. i don’t really care.#idk what i did here #i ALSO wrote this high but it was saturday MORNING #just s things waking up at 7 am writing up whatever the fuck this is in the longest twt thread ever #and then going back to bed and forgetting all about it #actually i think he’s just going to have a lot of lustful and intense sex w yuki #and pretend he doesn’t deeply desire making an honest man out of him #mine #yukierre

35 notes · View notes

swampgallows · 2 years

Text

just finished breaking bad. thoughts (no spoilers):

1. i said it before but i like the many scenes of characters eating. it makes the time and people feel more real rather than when their world exists only while the camera is on, but it also makes me wonder what their shooting schedule was like and what the spit bucket situation was. lots of important daily elements of real life like the school/work-life balance, doing chores, other bodily functions (sleeping, bathroom, having non-superhuman lung capacity, getting sick, etc.) that make the characters and storytelling believable and mortal.

1a. shit made me HUNGRY though. ive had almost exclusively tex mex or egg and hashbrown breakfasts while watching

2. every single car screeches off no matter the scenario. after a while it developed a wilhelm scream effect and made me laugh

3. i would not be able to finish this show if not for jesse. according to my mom he was not supposed to be a permanent character but im glad they kept him in. jesse adds a really important and desperately needed element of humanity and “everyman”-ness. he’s not a savant, he doesn’t have a special gift, he’s a regular guy. shouldering that perspective of “ordinary person directly affected by walt’s actions” onto only skyler’s character would overload her already heavy role; jesse’s character balances things out by providing the audience a window into walt’s world as not only a regular person, but as an active participant. essentially skyler and jesse show two different kinds of “innocence” but remain organically three-dimensional and significant in their own way rather than being defined by their association to walt. their inclusion keeps the story from devolving into a series of guys in suits standing around glaring at each other and speaking in code, which otherwise veers into comic book territory imo.

3a. i fucking loved seeing jesse sporting south pole and volcom. i know tumblr kids are like “oh he wears baggy clothes because he’s trans” or whatever but you need to understand that in the mid 00s that was the absolute cishettiest way a guy could dress. it was the fashion equivalent to axe body spray. if you could even slightly make out the shape of a guy’s torso youd say he was “metrosexual”

4. it was very fun spotting the scenes in the remix. however knowing the original context of the samples definitely changes things lmfao. hank absolutely makes that musical ‘boing’ tone with his mouth and it is only pitch-shifted for the remix; it is captioned as “boom” but by no stretch of the imagination is that reflective of whatever it was he did with his vocal cords. the “you are not the guy” is spoken with near identical cadence and rhythm to the song which caught me so off guard, i could see why it was sampled

5. since i watched mostly with closed captioning, it also displayed song lyrics on screen which helped me better appreciate the songs’ pertinence to the scenes they play in

6. flip phones aside, what really drove home the “late 00s - early 10s” was the one time they played wobble-heavy dubstep while showing off the fancy cars. jesus christ

7. WHY SO MANY LAYERS OF CLOTHING. they will be in the middle of the new mexico desert under the blazing sun and still have a cardigan on

it’s well written and i dont really regret watching it but the suspense/crime/drama genre triad is definitely not my cup of tea. certainly a high quality show though especially in a time before streaming and cinematic-level miniseries were the norm, so i can see why it has such popularity and impact. anyway onto better call saul

#brba #long post /

41 notes · View notes

winderlylandchime · 8 months

Note

2/2 of 2x08: ‘why is she acting like this? Is she okay? Oh god, is she sick? What’s wrong deb? Talk to me, redhead! *deb tells vic about ben* please, for the love of everything i own, stop talking. Why are you still talking? I said STOP! Twist your words? Deb, girl..that’s what you said, do you want me to rewind the tapes? AND TO SAY THAT TO VIC?! YOU WISH HE WASNT WHAT NOW? Listen to me Deb, straight still gets hiv. MIKE GET BEHIND ME, I MIGHT HATE YOU BUT I GOT YOU! OH NO HES HEARING HER! WASTING AWAY TO NOTHING? AND SHE SAYS THAT TO VIC OF ALL PEOPLE?! Poor vic. Fought for his life and now his sister says all that?! *pauses the tv and looks at me all scared* just so you know, i would NEVER say something like that to you. I might be an idiot but I’m not *waves his hand at the tv* that dumb…can you get me another soda?’… ‘he’s more sad for vic than himself? Damn, he has his nice moments. Deb, why would he have to tell you about Ben? That is literally none of your business. What’s up with you and Ted? SHE FORBIDS HIM FROM DATING BEN? Man, i hope Ben fucks the shit out of Mike this episode. I’m talking can’t walk for a week type of fuck! Because yall are pissing me off!’ And now the scene with britin is up!!!! ‘Ohhh look at them. Getting busy! Why is Justin talking about Ben? What is going on this episode..Man, ben has to have the craziest hiccups this episode. THATS RIGHT BRI! ITS MIKES DECISION! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO IS SMART! *pauses tv* justin. No. Please never do it raw. You can’t trust anyone THAT much. Cheating exists. And also you and Bri Bri don’t exactly have the most….how shall I put it nicely? Ethical relationship..is that respectful? Idk either way *shakes his head* no blondie! Brian..smack sense into him, don’t encourage him! GOOD BOY! EXACTLY BRIAN! Condoms are your best friend *shakes his pill bottle* next to these lil shits. HE WANTS HIM SAFE! AND HE WANTS HIM AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAY I LOVE YOU! (My name) did you hear that?! He wants him safe! And around! FOR A LONG TIME! That’s like many years! I cannot wait for him to say i love you to Justin! Would be a dope finale. Like *pretends to be brian, ig* “Justin!!! I love you. And i wanna be with you!” Yeah that’s the shit!’ My heart breaks for when he’s gonna see the finale. ‘Brian looks good. Leather jacket, messy hair…i fuck with it. Ohhh i like Brian and this bandana chick! Look at him taking his kid to the park. OH FUCK HER PARENTS *the scene in the park with that random lady comes up* the fuck they do?! I bet Michael just got a boner hearing her say that..Brian..Brian, come on i was rooting for you! Not to be the devil’s advocate but at least his reasoning was nicer in some weird way.’ He just scoffed at the sight of Deb so i’d say he’s doing well ‘Deb..you’ve talked enough. I think you should be quiet for the next 3 episodes..oh vic forgave her way too fast! Couldn’t be me tho’ ‘…no offense but if your parents don’t like you, you really shouldn’t care..but i get it, our greatest fault as human beings is the need we all have to be loved, it’s the only thing we all have in common. *look at me as if he just saw me* ice cream! *goes to get ice cream*’ I honestly wonder how he would watch this if he wasn’t high as a kite. ‘Is justin blowing a strap on?? Go off, i guess! Oh shit oh shit! Oh the dad is having a blast. i am honestly impressed that brian is quiet’ The scene with Ben and Mikey is on and he is not okay ‘NO MIKE NO! I mean do what makes you feel comfortable but NOOO DONT LET THEM GET TO YOU! But also I support your decision but fuck’ this obviously ended with him going for a smoke and is currently outside talking to mom and lying about why he was MIA, he also tried to turn the subject on qaf but failed badly bc his attempt was ‘how would you feel if i had a boyfriend with hiv?’ It was followed by ‘no mom, i im not gay. I’m not. HE IS JUST A FRIEND’ Keep my soul in thoughts and prayers because i am going through it.

AHAHAH YES. Exactly. Deb is such a fucking hypocrite. Ugh she is the worst about Ben’s HIV. And then Michael makes it so fucking awkward when he confronts Debbie IN FRONT OF BEN.

Your brother screaming about a) wearing a condom and b) I WANT YOU SAFE AND I WANT YOU AROUND FOR A LONG TIME is all of us. He is in the fandom. Brian DOES love him.

“our greatest fault as human beings is the need we all have to be loved, it’s the only thing we all have in common” - I know you described him as a himbo but Brother Anon is spitting some serious thoughts here.

Asking your mom how she would react if he had a boyfriend with HIV. I am dyingggggg. I love you brother.

Thoughts & Prayers Anon. You are truly doing the lord’s work.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

5 notes · View notes

mrcaesarino · 2 years

Text

just a little jojo theory on doppio and diavolo

so, do you all remember that one theory that doppio is the real personality? let me explain. that theory is based on real d.i.d pyschology shit cause doppio is like the submissive one while diavolo is the dominant one. the research says that the dominant one is almost always the fake identity or second personality and the submissive one is the real personality who has no control or decisions over the second personality. the real personality or doppio on the other hand, can make decisions for himself but for most of the time, he gets commanded by diavolo to do this that and whatever more.

but...

what if i tell you...

that there is one more personality?

and that is the true identity between diavolo and doppio?

it just a theory i made okay dont attack me and say its not canon, its called a theory for a reason. okay?

so anyways, like doppio, the third personality maybe submissive like him, or broken, too broken in fact. watching everything unravel like a movie but the movie involves him as the character that is going to die. maybe. and don't question me with, "but why didnt he showed up if he existed?" that's the thing, he cant do anything because he has no power or control over anything because of diavolo. or... he may simply had enough of so much bad karma over his entire lifetime he just simply gives up and snaps, creating diavolo allowing the second and most dominant personality in control. think about it, there are so much similarities of the third in diavolo and doppio even though he didnt develop doppio himself but diavolo did. doppio gets bad karma like him and also looks quite like him while diavolo is the anger or murderous tendencies that the third personality has when their on the verge of a breaking point but the event where they plotted on killing their father?? thats how diavolo was made. doppio was made from diavolo because he needed somebody as a cover or double to do his business while he hides his own identity away from the world. you get it? doppios name, doppio, mean double in italian. and its also quite ironic that he also hid his third personality. and your wondering, who is the third personality??

th third personality is...

solido naso.

🤡🤡🤡

I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT PLEASE LISTEN. SOLIDO NASO LOOKS LIKE DIAVOLO OF COURSE, (WITH COURTESY FROM DAVID PRODUCTIONS) BECAUSE HE IS THE PERSONALITY HE MADE. BUT... DOPPIO LOOKS ABSOLUTELY LIKE HIM, IN SEVERAL ARTS. LIKE A FUCKING THROWBACK. HERE.

just like diavolo, he has green eyes but his hair, attire and mostly his face is just like doppio. the only difference is the eyes which represents diavolo. in the anime dp or David production made solido naso look more like diavolo but as a teen.

there, you see that? diavolo and doppio are the splitting images of him. in the manga he looks like doppio but in the anime, diavolo is the one who looks like him.

i also like to think that diavolo and doppio has some kind of brotherly relationship with him. here. fanon version of my theory lol

everything was going so well, the new found riches they had when the drug dealing association they made, passione, was going off, made solido naso's pain go away... for now. cause, diavolo right? diavolo decided to pull a, "why not keep in touch with a chick named donatella and fuck with her in the midst of my growing success only for me to remember years later that she existed and got pregnant with my baby and the baby we had together is going to be a threat to my empire bcuz shes related to me thus making or existing a mini me out on this world and at the same time maybe the potential key or push needed for a gang such as bucciaratis and risotto neros to rebel because of my horrible decision making" lol this was so long, but anyways... yeah solido knew of it once the news of la squdra rebelling against passione was out and um yeah... hes crying. my poor trauma bby kitten meow meow 🥺🥺

see the third pic again for solido crying and getting comforted by douchebag diavolo and best boi doppio ❤

but back to the topic, the third pic also has something interesting, the three are trying to comfort solido yet, they are also crying... weird. because since the original ver of them, solido, is crying and sad, they are also bound to feel the same thing. diavolo referring to solido as a kid is his preference to on naming him because he views solido as a a kid and that same goes to doppio. diavolo's determination to eliminate the traitors may also come from solido unaccepting it because he doesnt want this to happen, he just had gotten out of his horrible, horrible life in his opinion that was constantly tormenting him everyday as a reminder which doppio, unfortunately, inherits and aim to fix it because "boss said so." because no matter what happens...

Solido's happiness is the true number one priority of Diavolo, because nobody, I mean nobody, is going to put him in pain again, And the arrow filled with unfathomable power fueled them even more.

so... yuh. thats how uh.. raccoon mafia boss and best boi was made.

IN MY THEORY OKAY. DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY I DONT MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE AND I MEAN ANYONE OR THEIR THEORIES. and i damn well know that this is very confusing but you kinda get gist of it.. right?? but yeah this was so fun to make and represents what i think, very intricate to explain making it sound confusing lol but i actually think this is a good writing experience too because i plan on making a fanfic based on jjba, if it blows up, ill tell yall my account. but if it flops, then no ❤

but ill let you guys have a hint,

King of hearts ❤

#jjba #jojo no kimyō na bōken #golden wind #part 5 #jjba diavolo #doppio vinegar #solido naso #jojo theories i made for fun and thoughts

24 notes · View notes