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whereflowersbloom · 4 years

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Meet me at the horizon

Damian has spent nearly three hours inside the meeting room of one of the biggest companies of the Eastern Coast, Wayne Enterprises, the silence was strong after several hours discussing the approval of new projects, majority of them Proposed by Timothy Drake. Tim was a genius in Computer Engineering and Technologies, currently working with Lucious Fox. He just graduated and was already making money developing enterprise digital assistance apps and what not for the company. Unfortunately the silence lasted less than two deep breaths as the board directors, shareholders, his siblings and even his own father were exchanging goodbyes and handshakes, scheduling the next meeting already. His father had promised to take Helena shopping with Selina. His adoptive siblings stayed in the meeting room, deciding to have a much-deserved break, to catch up with their daily activities.

Damian frowned unconsciously, his head was throbbing with the surge of scenes in his head. The scenes he was so used to see in his dreams for the last nine months, but the last three months have been assaulting him any moment of the day, especially close to his eldest brother Richard. The meeting seemed to have opened a door to these dreams and this talk about opening an office in Jump city was making it worse. Jump City. He had the vague sensation he’d been there before...

Tim, Richard and Duke seemed to be too busy speaking about the next big game of Gotham Knights, the hockey team, to notice his troubled expression. They mumbled something about asking Jason to slow down from his intense sportbike racer life and watch the game all together. Damian didn’t bother listening to the rest, he was attacked by images of that younger version of himself in some kind of flashy vigilante costume fighting criminals.

“We should go to the game this weekend. The girl I’m seeing now, Kori said she was interested in learning about traditional sports. She’s been in Gotham for six months now. She’s very enthusiastic about cultural learning.” Richard suggested with a wide smile to his siblings completely excited. Eyes like wildfire lit with the spark of life. He hadn’t met Dick’s girlfriend but he looked happier than he’s ever seen him in years.

“Are you joining, D or you’ve got a date?” Duke asked with a teasing tone in his sardonic voice.

Damian did not retribute the smile his adoptive brother gave him, trying to mask his still throbbing head. He looked at him, threatening gaze was a subtle warning. He didn’t know why this was happening that day, but the talk about Jump City and Dick’s new girlfriend were just bringing more of those images. Most of them weren’t good ones. Gory, brutal, bloody. He liked more the ones that seemed to joyful. The ones with that girl.

“He barely seem to have time to meet someone. He’s a workaholic.” it was Tim who answered with an amused smile on his lips, masking an exhausted mien.

“At this pace he’s close enough to become a celibate monk.” Duke joked elbowing Tim lightly, who laughed in response.

“I tried to set him up with some girls, but I almost end up with a broken jaw.” Dick shrugged slightly as he told them with details how Damian had turned down Kara Danvers, Tim’s girlfriend’s best friend. Admittedly she was a nice-looking woman but not the one he desired.

Damian decided to ignore the moronic comments about his love life from his siblings.

Storming out of the meeting room without uttering a single word. They knew nothing about his romantic life. Tsk. A breath of fresh is what he required, lost in consuming thoughts about the girl.

People form the company knew him as the extremely professional boss that run his department with an almost iron fist, he was fair though, accepting the situation of people that worked under him, but he didn’t accept people trying to take advantages or lacking in his services. And he was indeed workaholic.

The media knew him as the ‘Ice Prince of Gotham’, the young heir that was always looking serious, with a cold aura around him, with no type of relationships or scandals so far. He didn’t have the bad boy aura like Jason, ‘chicks’ seemed to dig it as Duke would crudely express. He appeared distant of people out of his inner circle. However, women followed him like bees to flowers in order to collect nectar.

It was just his Wayne charm he couldn’t turn off, regardless of the situation. Like his father, Damian just attracted female attention like a magnet. But no girlfriend. He's had the odd fling here and there but nobody has ever really caught his eye and he's incredibly busy he hasn't the time to feel that maybe he's missing out. Until he saw her.

All his time, attention and passion have been poured into his work. Not that he loved it exactly but he's never been one to do things by halves. Of course he made time to spend quality time with his family, after all, little Helena was barely ten years old. Perky and tireless, too smart for her age if he added. EHis youngest sister.

He was also known in the sports world as one of the most skilled people on the art of the traditional sword fighting and martial arts. He didn’t know where this passion for sword fighting began, although he would bet all his money that it had something to do with his strange recurrent dreams.

Although his life was satisfactory in his personal view, he always felt as if something was missing. He felt as lonely as the teenager in his dreams when the girl was not around him. She was missing.

Why this bothered him so much, he couldn’t find a logical reason that made any sense. It was just a simple dream, and that girl wasn’t much more than that. A dream. But why he felt that way? That need to look around every time he was in a place full of people hoping to get a glimpse of those shinning amethyst eyes looking at him like she did in his dreams with such profound emotion. Or his necessity to look for her around the world as if he was sure he could find her. She was etched in his bones, buried in down his bronze skin, burning in his chest leaving him out of breath. The images were flooding his mind again. More than absurd dreams, they were a recollection of memories...from a different lifetime perhaps.

They had something briefly, he gathered from the persistent dreams. It was intense, passionate. It was only something he could describe as love. But suddenly they parted ways, forced to be away from the other. They lost contact. The images were so vivid. They felt so real. A first last kiss filled with sorrow, powerlessness, genuine affection. It was carved into his mind until he memorized it. That moment. The warmth and scent of her breath put him in an hypnotic daze. Her lips parted softly, and he could taste faint traces salt from her tears when her soft lips pressed against his. He could feel lightning coursing through his veins, as if his entire world had been set ablaze only lasting seconds. Then it was gone. The ghost of a promise of a second chance. He’d grown tired of waiting for her to appear before his eyes. Every damn second felt like an eternity in itself. With every passing moment, his patience waned a little more and his heart sank a little further.

The haunting pain, endless longing, fear of losing her, the regret of leaving her behind first. They were all real. It was a silent torture.

At first, foolishly he believed these feelings would eventually fade and he would no longer be haunted by her phantom presence. Only memories he thought as he closed his emerald eyes. And her pale, heart-shaped, beautiful face flitted across his mind. Damian had spent his entire life being in control. But every time he met her in his dreams, he seemed to lose his grasp on his emotions, his life, and sometimes, even his destiny. He had to find her.

The wind howling through halls of old memories, piercing through solitude, skin and bone until there’s nothing but heavy emotions and melancholy. Walking with a heart that’s taken too many hits, never too fragile but refusing to be held in the hands of another’s that don’t belong to hers. In his chest remained an ache, a longing for what was or could have been. What he let slip.

“I am sorry we did not have time, Raven.” He mumbled almost in a whisper to nothingness. It felt like a heartfelt apology a thousand years too late. Maybe more or less. A lifetime too late. If their hearts and destiny were entwined surely they would find their back to each other no matter what. Damian carried that hope in his heart, always his constant companion. If He were to walk to the ends of the earth and waited for her on the horizon after the sun has set, would she be there? At the point where the land and sky meets. Could they be together once again?

Raven. The girl. He thought of her during the long hours between dusk and dawn, as he ate dinner alone or read next to the window. She was an ever present fixture in his mind and never more so than today. He considered what he might say to her once he found her, but what rational excuse could he offer to a stranger? He doubted she would find comfort in the ridiculous phrases he might string together about meeting in a past lifetime or those dreams. What if she had them too? If it wasn’t some breathtakingly realistic illusion and she was so where in this city or Jump City or anywhere else looking for him. It was silly to entertain such notions, he knew it well. But that didn’t stop his mind from wandering from time to time when he found a poignant passage of poetry that tugged at his heart, or a new book that fascinated him. She loved books how he knew that, he was not sure. What he wouldn’t give to have long days spent indulging their mutual passion for literature, poetry, history and ancient languages.

He’s been walking around for longer than he imagined, looking at his watch it’s last 6:00 pm. It was out of instinct or some magnetic pull forcing his body to look at the flower shop, whatever universal spirit or energy did it. He was thankful. The shop was tiny, a sliver of space between a cafe and bookstore, and would have disappeared into the surrounding stone and woodwork had it not been for the white and lavender exterior. Eyes quickly scanning surroundings. It was exquisite and untamed, thorny blackberry brambles mingle with fresh citrusy kumquats wrapped languidly around overhanging light fixtures for a wild, yet utterly magnificent and unique look. It had a three-panel glass window boasting an avant-garde display of blush dahlias, blizzard hydrangeas, soft purple lilacs, a mixture of green stems and leaves that balanced everything out. He had been here before but never spotted the shop. The shop was definitely new and if Damian hadn’t known this neighborhood so well, the faint smell of fresh paint would have given it away.

Her hair was a deep navy blue sprinkled with white, like starlight in winter. Her heart-shaped had matured beautifully, moonlight skin. She was a flashing star born with striking surreal violet orbs. She was holding astilbe flowers in white and soft pink. She set the flowers on the counter carefully, her fingers hovering in the space around them, like she wanted to guard them, to protect every petal from the possibility of being crushed. As if they were more than blooms of colour, like there were uniquely cherishable aspects to each one that is not present in the next. He could see that type of caring in her. This was his Raven. This can’t be real, Right? The world wouldn’t be this cruel to him, playing mind tricks on him. She was here. O

Damian thought of every slow-motion, heart-stopping, head-spinning scene in every romance movie or show or novel and how he’d always assumed they were stupid, nothing but rubbish. But here he was standing astonished literally staring at the woman of his dreams. Speak with her. Just hear her low and calming voice. That was all his mind would permit him to focus on, the single-minded determination to see her again.

He moved with driving purpose, his legs propelling him to go inside the little store and tell her everything about his dreams, recollection of old memories. The thought crossed his mind so briefly he scarcely dwelt on it, but that was how it had been for him in the months since dreaming of Raven. His pace slowed as he was stopped by the entrance door, opening it slowly, willing his heart to steady the gallop rhythm of its beats. The sun was shining brightly through the shop’s windows, soft classical music played through the serene and scented atmosphere.

The anticipation rushing through his veins felt like burning his tongue on Earl Grey too hot-tea a chilly rainy day, a dry mouth after sleepless night tossing and turning because other side of his bed looked too empty, trees in the park swayed and shuddered by the afternoon air before lighting fractures the sky and shakes earth, like he’s been waiting a million of breaths for this moment. In his twenty-one years of existence never experienced this wild and frantic emotion.

He swallowed around a very dry throat when he let the door swing shut behind him as his short, hesitant strides brought him directly up to the counter. Now they were face to face. Mustering the courage to say anything. Anything that dint make her think he was insane. But when his gaze met hers. Damian found himself awe-struck by the intensity behind familiar amethyst eyes. The stars couldn’t compare. The world and moon would crumble away. The sun would collapse into itself at this dazzling and glorious constellation that she was. Lilac pools hiding something mystic and ancient in their depth.

She leaned in closer to him in such a natural way, raising her head just to meet his. Her smile was sincere and expectant, pupils blown wide, but they’re focused, dark and determined, nearly drowning out the violet glint of her irises. His lips ached to reach for hers in a hungry kiss but refrained. Speechless, heart pounding in chest, peculiar fluttering sensation in his stomach, waiting for her to speak. Finally she took a deep and long breath before whispering. “Hello Damian. It’s been quite a long time.”

I rewrote this and hope you all like it. I can’t find it in me to update stories right now but have this short prompt. Specially written for @chromium7sky @ravenfan1242 @xaphrin @alerialblu @niahti and all my friends and readers. I’m so sorry some of you have been getting hate but we stand strong and together. 💜❤️❤️🥺🥺

@deep-in-mind67 @kallura-juniblade @bourniebna @timid-soot-sprite @deepbreadlover @tweepunkgrl @srose-foxfire

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facepalming-since-chernobyl · 3 years

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One could make the argument for Smallville that Clark and Lex with their entwined destines are set up to be the main ship of the entire series. When Clark’s pod landed in Smallville Lex also lost his hair. That event would forge the paths they both ended up going down as young men. Their motivations are also heavily influenced by their fathers and the differences in how they were raised. They parallel each other, with the perfect balance of light and dark. Their relationship is the core dynamic that drives the series. Most of the time, even outside their respective romances. But it’s still never meant to be seen as anything more than a doomed friendship. A broken brotherhood. Nothing sexual about it. Even the Clex shippers in the fandom understood that back in the day.

Now I’m not saying this is the same thing for toxicorp. No. When it comes to Supergirl, since the first episode it’s been established that the Danvers sisters have always been the most important relationship of the series. They are both responsible for the paths they ended up taking in life. I mean, Kara exposed herself to the world to save Alex’s life. And Alex became an agent with the DEO because of Kara. Season 1 was about them learning to work together as a team. Season 2 they both got to experience their own relationships with someone they loved. Season 3 they both had to deal with the loss of those loves and if they could move forward. Season 4 they were tested when Kara had to leave the DEO and then to protect her secret Alex had to forget she was Supergirl. The less said about S5 the better. Honestly, if it were up to me, in that last fight in the finale it would be Kara and Alex standing at the front, together side by side. But the writers obviously decided to show everyone partnered up with their own love interests. Bonus Karamel for us. So I’m not complaining.

What I will unfortunately say about toxicorp however. As much as I hate to admit it, Kara and whatshername do share some similarities. They were both adopted. They have siblings with similar names. They both didn’t want to be defined by their more famous male family members. I think the writers were trying to set up this dynamic early in season 2, similar to Clark and Lex.

But in my honest opinion: Sister Luthor’s constant misguided use of science, with the result of always making things worse, and Kara having to clean up her mess, just got so repetitive, that I just saw their association as a hindrance to Kara. And her being so blind by what she wanted to see, so she never called whatsherface out on it. And S5, well that just sealed the deal for me. How she reacted to Kara’s secret and made it all about her and how she chose to focus on getting back at Kara and everyone else, instead of trying to understand and respect Kara’s agency. No. Just no. A true friend would never do that. Kara deserves better than someone who would treat her the way Lobotomizer did. As Mon-El said in the 100th, she deserves the same compassion she shows others. That’s just my two cents.

Fandumb delusions are another matter entirely. I try my best to pay little attention to them. Because very much like ToxicQueen shippers in the once upon a time fandom and any other non canon slash shippers, they really have nothing to do with the actual show, or how the writers choose to tell the story. They can be as vocal as they want online, but they really don’t have any influence how the story is told. A lot of people just see what they want to see with toxicorp. Some unfortunately have this unhealthy fixation with the actress from Merlin, that I think is their main motivation for shipping her with women. And of course, Kara’s feelings and her choices don’t matter to them at all. Not unless it serves their forced narrative. She’s just a prize for their fave to win. Well, as a Kara fan, I’m only interested in what she wants her happy ending to be. She needs to put herself first. If they don’t like how things end up for the show or her, well they can just suck it. No one’s going to care. In the end we’ll be the fandom who always respected the lead actress, supported her marriage. Held out hope and got our ship reunited (in some capacity) in the finale. And they’ll be just a sad memory, that was ignored and forgotten.

Well, friend, I could have not said it better.

I will just add that Lobotomizer was contracted only for 3 eps but the producers decided to let her stay, unfortunatelly, because it is quite obvious they didn't ans still don't know what to do with her and her storyline.

Her story is repetitive every season, she still hasn't learnt a shit,all she represents is a white privilege in the worst form and it's laughable they try ans fail to make her some strong femonistic icon. Like, there is absolutely no one normal who can identify with her. Ok, I guess sociopaths can. Or rich girls with mommy, daddy and big bro issues 🙄

My point is, Lobotomizer is the cancer of the show that sucks screen time and focus from other characters. Her character was ans will be, it's quite obvious on this point, absolutely wasted. They could have made her interesting at least and her storyline appealing and made her a real villain of the story,who could have admitted in the end she was the villain and really fixing it or making her embracing her morally gray personality,but instead we got a lukewarm butthurt 5 year old,who is excused because Kara didn't tell her a secret 🙄🙄🙄

She is the most ridiculous and pointless character ever.

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handlewithkara · 4 years

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I know I’ve been radio silent for a kind of unacceptably wrong time, but actually I have been writing. I have even sent stuff off to the beta (1 fluffy established relationship smut, one angsty one night stand and the entirety of “All The Boys I Used to Love”) and I have real hopes about posting them.

Anyway, I’ve also been thinking a lot about various Karamel things and there are some things I really need to get off my chest. So sorry about long rambling and bad screenshots.

Mon-El: You should, uh, know that you deserve the same compassion that you show others.

Kara: I forgive you.

I think there is a reason why I and I'm sure many other Karamel fans found this moment to be absolutely beautiful. Because even beyond getting to see them on screen together again, getting to see them talk, have a real conversation, a lot of this moment made me want to pump my first and shout "Yes!!! Exactly!". Because there is just so much TRUTH in that statement, in that scene.

This scene also made me want to go back and talk again about the reveal of Mon-El's true identity and Kara's subsequent forgiveness. Now I will be the first to admit I get why some people are unhappy with it and I'm sure there are many Karamel fans who would have welcomed it if it had taken Karamel longer to reconnect after the truth came out. But just because it can be argued that it was rushed or that it wasn't great that the moment of forgiveness happened essentially on another show, I feel like going back and remembering and even defending that nonetheless there were some really good touches in how the storyline of Kara's forgiveness played out.

1.) First I think it has to be acknowledged that Kara is a deeply forgiving person. Something we have seen over and over again, even long before Mon-El entered the scene. I think it is stressed the most in season 1 when Alex is clearly worried that Kara will hate her for taking the life of Astra, one of Kara's few living relatives. And instead Kara completely and unquestionably embraces Alex instead (a moment that I think is very well mirrored in season 5 when Kara doesn't have even an ounce of grudge or hesitancy when Alex lashes out at her after Jeremiah's death). But we have seen this in smaller ways as well, whether it is Kara reaching out to, showing empathy with, connecting to or befriending people, who would be "rivals" in other shows (Lucy), or straight up villains (Leslie, Rhea and Sam/Reign come to mind, to showcase that this attitude is pretty much independant of deservedness). IMO even her clearly seeing past Cat's abrasive or insulting behavior and still seeing the good in her is a clear example of this.

2.) How Kara acted when she found out.

First I want to say: look, Kara knows what it is like to find out that a person you are emotinoally close to lies to you, to find out they were somebody else from what you thought they were and they have been keeping that from you.

And look how she didn't come up with a complex plan to screw Mon-El over and "make him feel the same kind of pain she felt". How she didn't lie to him and pretend to be okay and continue to relationship just so she could stab him in the back, steal from him and carry out a scheme to lobotomize the entire world just because she got hurt.

But I do want to stress, that isn't because she wasn't angry or because she is Kara and as such some kind of benevolent forgiving saint.

The very first scene after she finds out is her having dinner with the Daxamites. And Kara is passive aggressive pissy. And petty. There is this scene where she steers Mon-El into having to fess up and explain himself in front of everybody, something that he is clearly uncomfortable with.

Heck he even vocalizes it.

Mon-El: I'd rather not.

Kara: No, no, Prince, by all means. Please tell us of your heroic escape.

What woud have been the 100% "saintly" reaction? I don't know. Maybe to cry and run off the moment she found out the truth? Or to immediately turn down dinner with the slave owning autocrats? But that's the kind of nuance I love about Kara as a character. Yes, the is good and forgiving and strong and awesome, but she also has a temper and she absolutely can be petty.

But the thing is... Kara's petty phase doesn't last long. By the end of the very same episode, Kara does the sane thing, the fair thing.

She demands an explanation. She cares about the details (”Were you ever gonna tell me the truth?”) She listens to what Mon-El has to say. She is not convinced.

And she cuts Mon-El out of her life. THAT is the non psychopath thing to do when you are disappointed in somebody. When you think that they will just hurt and disappoint you again and you want to protect yourself.

Kara: He lied to me about who he really is - for nine months. - I can't shake it

Kara: I don't even know who he is anymore.

Kara (about Winn’s girlfriend): You're just going to forget about it? Aren't you afraid she's gonna hurt you again?

3.) Why Kara forgave him aka The Crossover.

I'm not going to pretend the crossover is perfect. There are many things worth criticiziing, whether it's from a meta level (was it a good idea that Karamel making up took place on a different show? should the focus have been more on Westallen?) to a structural one (the conflict Westallen have doesn't really match the conflict Karamel have all that well, nor does the problem of "Tommy" from the music world have that much in common with the real Mon-El, Musicmeister's action are really random and lack motivation). But going back to it I wanted to talk about it on a pure character level. Namely: What is the reason Kara forgives Mon-El? What motivates her?

Is it Musicmeister reminding her that she luuuves Mon-El, is it just because Musicmeister says so, is it jealousy, is it because she doesn't want to be single again, is it Mon-El having a good explanation, is it her being touched that Mon-El followed her, is it that she came close to dying?

No.

To me it is pretty clear that the focal point of the episode is this one.

Kara: I think you're being a little tough on your son. [...] it's obvious why he didn't tell you right away. I mean, look at the way you're reacting. Maybe if you just listen and and hear his reasons and try to see things from his point of view maybe maybe you'd understand why he didn't tell you before now.

And that's why Mon-El's words about Kara's compassion for others ring so true. Because this is at the heart for why Kara re-embraced Mon-El. She gained some distance, looked at the situation from a different perspective and started thinking about it differently. Kara put herself in Mon-El's shoes and came to a conclusion about how he felt about the whole situation. That's why at the core of Kara's forgiveness is empathy and compassion.

Mon-El's motivations didn't change. They are still really sucky reasons. But Kara put herself in his shoes and empathized with him anyway and had compassion. All things she said are still valid, that she didn't deserve to be lied to, that Mon-El didn't give her a chance to react.

And that's why it felt so good when in s5 when Kara regained her spine, she stresses this. That her motivations do matter (and mind: Kara did listen to Mon-El's motivation and she did care about the details even before Musicmeister entered the scene). That the compassionate thing would have been to care about why Kara did it. Because when she shoe was on the other foot, that is exactly what Kara was willing to do. To first listen to Mon-El's explanation and then put herself in his shoes and empathize with how he got there and have compassion for him as a flawed person. Who did screw up but Kara is pretty damn bighearted. And that's why she rocks.

4.) So Mon-El's lie = Kara's lie?

So was Mon-El's lie about his identity basically the same thing as Kara's lie about her identity? I don't think so. I think there are both aspects that make it worse and aspects that make it better.

First the obvious one:

When Kara lies about Supergirl (or when Alex lied about working for the DEO), she is not lying about a morally bad thing. She is lying about a morally good thing. There is nothing morally reprehensible to most people about saving others or working to protect others.

By comparison, being the Prince of Daxam isn't just something many people would find morally objectionable as long as they knew the details of it (imo picture it less as fairy tale prince and more like "actually my dad is Saddam Hussein/Bashar Al Assad/Kim Jong Un"), it's also something that Mon-El specifically knew Kara disapproved of.

So regardless of whether one agrees with that Kara's blanket dislike of "The Prince" was justified, Mon-El knew that she had a strong opinion on this and hence knowing about this aspect of his life would be something she would reasonably want to know about, care about and it might have a big influence on her opinion on him.

Secondly, after the nature of what Mon-El is lying about, there is the is the aspect of motivation. Let me stress once more that the story has made it clear that motivation is something Kara does care about. That's why she cared about asking Mon-El to explain himself (after some encouragement from Alex and Winn). it’s what Mon-El talks about in 100, that Kara’s motivation matters and that's why in season 5 when she puts her foot down she makes it clear that her motives to lie do matter.

And the thing is: Mon-El doesn't have a good explanation for it. There is no "well the government told me to" or "I did it for personal safety or to protect the safety of others", no "I lied becasue I was trying to save the life of my bother", no "well if I told the truth our parents would start a mob war", there is only "I was lying, but I wished it was true" and "I was worried about what your reaction would be". (let me note here: I actually like that about the story, that there is little attempt of the story to muddle the waters here and justify it. Mon-El screwed up, Mon-El is contrite, Kara is willing to give forgiveness despite there not being any excusing additional aspects).

So far, so reprehensible, right?

Well to me there is one thing that makes Mon-El's lie about his identity different than Kara's lie about being Supergirl/an alien, that I think has a meaningful influence on why Kara was willing to forgive and embrace. At this point in the story, "being the prince of Daxam" wasn't really an active part of Mon-El's life. It was part of his past.

Yes we can discuss whether you can ever truly shake off that kind of privilege or what you were taught, but the base point of it is that Mon-El didn't really lead a double life with Kara. He didn't pretend to be the perfect little boyfriend with her and then turned around and snuck off to lead a life of Daxamite privilege and decadence. When he said he was going to work, he really went to work. He had no access to that life of privilege anymore and he made no moves to regain it. All the things that Kara cared about: his feelings for her, him being flawed but trying to be better were still very much there (Alex: “Maybe he's just a guy who's ashamed of his past, and he's looking for a fresh start.”).

Similarly, all the flaws that Kara might associate with being the prince (like promiscuity, laziness, cowardice) were still visible and present in Mon-El before she knew he was the prince.

When Mon-El lied about his idenity, he lied about a part of himself that he at the very least had mixed feelings about and eventually grew to actively dislike and try to get rid off. A part of himself he didn't actively engage in and that he eventually went to great lengths to reject.

By comparison when Kara hides that part of herself, she hides something about herself that still very much takes up large chunks of her time, that is very meaningful to her and that she has every intention of carrying on, of keeping up.

Mon-El lied about his past, Kara lied about her present. That's why I think if somebody dealing with Kara found about Supergirl, they could reasonably say "Wow, I feel like I only know like 50%" of you. While with Mon-El, with the kind of insight Kara had into him at that point, finding out that he used to be the prince of Daxam is a lot more like "Wow, I feel like I only know 90%" of you.

That's why I think that upon realizing that, considering Kara's general attitude towards forgiveness and considering that she knew, felt and believed about Mon-El it was reasonable that she came to the conclusion that their relationship was worth preserving, at least for now/while she was still evaluating him and seeing how he would behave in the future, in regards to her, his parents and heroism. It was still a leap of faith of her to do that, but considering what we know of Kara's personality, I think it makes sense that she is the kind of person who would make this leap of faith.

So to recap, the top reasons why it made sense that Kara forgave Mon-El:

1.) Kara has shown over and over again that she's a very forgiving person whether people deserve it or not

2.) Kara herself has also lied to/deceived people she liked or cared about her identity (ie Cat, Lena). AND she has also previously been lied to by people she cares about about having a whole other identity (Alex). Because of this Kara imo clearly and staunchy believes that a lie about one's identity does not invalidate the connection you have with a person, it doesn't mean that it invalidates the interactions you have with them or that you don't really care abuot them, that the relationship you have with them isn't real.

Obviously Kara still considers herself a friend to the people she didn't let in on her secret and obviously Kara thought that her relationship with Alex was more meaningful than the fact that Alex had a secret second job.

3.) The encounter with Musicmeister above all stressed empathy, namely Kara relating to Mon-El and how he probably felt.

4.) In the end, Mon-El's lie was fundamentally about the past, it in retrospect didn't really have that much to do with what Mon-El was at this point and with what he was inside Karamel's relationship. It's pretty clear to me that at that point Mon-El had already emotionally seperated himself from his role as the prince and from his parents.

I believe that Kara sensed that and put trust and faith in that and she ended up being proven right about that (Kara: ”we found a connection.Through the kindness in our hearts”)”. If you look at the scene where she breaks up with him, imo she doesn't get hung up on the lie, but she does lose faith, she worries that longterm Mon-El won't have the moral fortitude to be a hero or a good boyfriend. ("You just want things to be easy, Mon-El. But being a hero and falling in love, those are not easy things. They're hard and they're messy. And they hurt sometimes.") This is what matters to her, whether he will have the strength of character to stick with being a hero.

Mon-El refused to rejoin his parents, essentially cut them off, staying away from them even beyond what Kara expected or wanted (Kara clearly was supportive of Mon-El reconnecting with them as his parents), to the extent that was wiling to support Kara and stand by as Kara kills his mother and unleashesh a dangerous attack on the rest of his people, is willing to join the fight against them and even after being split from Kara shows no signs of returning to his life as a prince.

It's pretty clear to me that Mon-El basically cut off that part of his life, that at that point it wasn't an active part of his life anymore and that in the future he did everything to minimize that part of himself (compared to Supergirl being a sizable, ongoing part of Kara's life that is important to her and that she intends to carry on in the future).

That doesn't mean that his lie wasn't a big deal or that Kara had no right to be mad about it, but I do think it lends some believable weight to why Kara was willing to take the plunge and accept him.

Again, this is a character aspect we have seen many times in Kara, that she is willing to encourage and embrace people to turn their life around, even if they have gone pretty damn far into their road to villainy (again, Livewire, Rhea).

One last thing I want to say, I have read people claim that they found it "out of character" that Mon-El became a good and attentive boyfriend after this experience. I personally always read this as a clear and natural progression. This event of Kara's forgiveness imo clearly left a big impression on Mon-El. He didn't just almost lose her, I think he also truly got that Kara not just forgiving him but being willing to re-embrace him and give him the benefit of the doubt was a big. fucking. deal and that probably the vast majority of people in her position wouldn't have done it. So it makes sense to me that he was on his best behavior and eager to show both his gratitude and she wasn't wrong to gift him that.

Conclusion: Kara is a kickass awesome person and character and the story of her forgiving Mon-El is more nuanced than people give it credit for

#karamel #supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor-el #Mon-El

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sheyshen · 4 years

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Fictober Day 18

Prompt: “You don’t see it?” Fandom: Swtor (Star Wars the old Republic) Rating: T Pairing: Smuggler/Arcann/Theron Note: Takes place post Umbara but pre-Nathema so Theron is mentioned but not present.

It was already late when Arcann was heading to bed. It had been a long day and he was exhausted and was looking forward to just laying down and getting some sleep. If he was lucky kara would be waiting for him. The thought of the one he cared for laying in bed waiting to see him put a little more pep into his step.

She had been working nonstop since Theron had left, and everyone's been doing all they can to keep her head above the water. But it's been slow going, tracking Theron was a priority, but they still had a lot of difficulty with the uprisings, with choosing to back the Republic in the renewed war, with the gods, and even with those in their own ranks.

While nobody said anything to her about her choices, there were complaints, uncertainties. Former imperials concerned about being forced into the Republic or worse, Republic defectors who had no desire to return to their previous faction. She had made it clear that she wanted to keep the Alliance separate, that they weren’t joining the Republic but just supporting them at the moment, but there was no way she didn't have the same concerns. For all their drive for peace, the Republic didn’t tend to view neutral parties in a good light.

And with Zakuul still requiring aid after his mistakes on top of it all…

He stepped off the lift and into the war room. It was dark, the lights dimmed since it was well past midnight and only the night watch and a handful of people still wandered the halls. The war room itself was mainly lit by the terminals and a handful of datapads. Some appeared to have been used recently.

"Commander?" Arcann called. No reply, but he could sense her there. He walked around the terminal Theron frequented and found her sitting on the floor. He glanced around to make sure no one else was there before he kneeled by her side. "Kara?"

She glanced at him for a moment before turning her attention back to a datapad she was holding. "You're up late." She laughed quietly.

"As are you." He sat next to her, "what are you doing still working?"

She shrugged, "a lot left to go through, I don't know how he managed it on his own."

“He didn’t. He had you helping him.”

“I hardly sorted through all of this, and while Lana helped too, she had her own work she focused on most of the time.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

She made a noise of frustration.

“Kara, look at me.” she turned her head, “Theron did so much because of you. Everyone in the alliance did. You being the commander gave them hope, gave them a reason to try harder to be better.”

She scoffed, shaking her head, “I appreciate that you seem to think that. But they only followed me because the Alliance was the only one doing anything, it didn’t matter who led.”

He watched her, brows furrowing, “you don’t see it?”

“See what exactly? That I still screw up no matter what I do, that people I care for turn on me?”

“Kara…” He paused, picking his words carefully, “If I had never met you I would still be a tyrant, would still be destroying everything and everyone who even looked at me the wrong way.”

She shook her head, “Senya would’ve gotten through to you.”

“No.” he admitted, “I was only able to hear her because of you. I hadn’t realized what I had become until you forced me to see it. I am what I am now because of you.”

She let out a heavy breath.

“I know you don’t notice it, but they might have all followed you because you happened to be the Commander, but they stayed because of what you did.” He reached over and pulled her to him, getting her to lean on her, he was unsure if this was something he should be doing at first, their relationship was still new, but he knew he needed to do something. “You are the one who’s inspired us. Inspired me, made me want to atone, to be someone mother, Thexan, and you would be proud of. Let me be someone outside of my father’s control. To…” He wanted to stay more, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to continue that thought.

Kara settled against him, leaning her head on his chest, and rested the datapad she had been holding on her lap. “Thank you.” She said it quietly, “I still don’t know if what I’m doing is right, but…” She paused, “I won’t give up on Theron.”

“Good.” He gripped her shoulder, “I will help as best I can, and I know Lana will as well.”

“She’s still ready to kill him if she sees him.”

“But she won’t because she knows you still care about him.”

Kara hummed, settling in more, and started poking at the datapad on her lap.

Arcann took it from her, shifting his weight so she stopped leaning on him. She cocked an eyebrow at the sudden change. He stood, placing the datapad on the terminal before reaching for her, “you shouldn’t sleep here.” She took his hand and he helped her to her feet. She made a reach for the datapad but he steered her away.

She grumbled, but let him lead her down the hall to their quarters. “I don’t need to sleep.” She muffled a yawn, turning from him to try and cover it up.

“I will help with the remaining data in the morning.” He couldn’t help but laugh at the attempt to hide how tired she was, “But for now, we both need our rest.”

“I suppose a nap wouldn’t hurt.”

He hit the lock on the door and walked into their room. It’d been a long day for both of them, and they deserved the break. He’ll send a message to Lana to ask for her to push Kara’s morning meetings back, he was sure it might cause the sith to ask questions he wasn’t ready to deal with but if it got Kara to take some time to relax it was worth it. Besides the work would still be there in the morning.

#my writing #fictober20 #swtor #star wars #arcann #oc: kara hawke

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happymeishappylife · 4 years

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DC CW Shows

I finally caught up on all the DC Universe shows. Quite an accomplishment for me considering I was 2 seasons behind. It feels good to finally get caught up to speed, but some of them are starting to feel like chores getting through them, rather than fun entertainment. A concern that gets amplified by the fact that the producers want to add on 2 more shows to the line up. So I felt like it was a good idea to breakdown my thoughts on each of the shows and what I liked/didn’t like. Plus then I will break down my thoughts on Crisis, because I have a lot of them. I’ll also rank these as I go as far as which ones I liked best, beginning with least to best. So let’s begin:

#7 - The Flash

I used to love this show so much. The first two seasons were a lot of fun and I loved all the characters so much. Thanks to the writing though, I can’t honestly say I don’t like this show much at all anymore and that’s kinda sad. Part of the reason is it became soooo angsty. Like the reason The Flash was great, was it was the antithesis to the angst on Arrow which made it so refreshing to watch. Now it’s like everyone must suffer some sort of pain over the tiniest things or worse, they become entrapped in characters and situations like its been haunting them for years when it only got introduced a couple episodes ago. At this point the only characters I care about are Caitlyn/Frost, Joe and Cecile West, Wally (when he’s on, which is like never), and Ralph. And that’s painful that Hartley won’t be returning to fill that role anymore because he was the only one who still could joke and laugh around like old Team Flash.

Season 5: Overall season 5 had a pretty solid storyline despite some of the angsty writing. After a while though I got pretty sick of fighting Chicada over and over again, especially Grace’s version. My one big pet peeve with it though was the relationship of Nora to Barry and Iris. I’m sorry. I can’t honestly picture any 20-30 something meeting their adult daughter and automatically assuming the role of an actual parent and treating her like a preteen. That always felt super weird and uncomfortable. Not to mention it happened almost automatically with little to no hang ups on ‘is this really our kid? Should we trust her?’ Plus then it created angst between Barry and Iris which I’m really over at this point in the series because their relationship was never my favorite to begin with.

Season 6: A hot mess. Granted, because of Crisis and Covid-19, the season probably didn’t get a fair chance to play out to it’s full potential. But cutting the season into two arcs didn’t do it any justice. Especially because instead of having character growth, I felt like a lot of the characters regressed. Take Barry for instance. The whole first part of the season is him prepping/training the team to take over for him after Crisis since he believes he is going to die. Only when he doesn’t, he assumes the role of leader still without actually leading. He stops telling his team members key details and putting aside the fact he killed the speed force, he stopped being a hero. The whole fight scene with Mirror-Iris, was so bizarre to watch. Yes, Barry would never hurt the real Iris, but she’s not and instead he just stands there and gets stabbed over and over, crying at the end that she’s not there. It’s really hard to watch.

#6 - Arrow

Arrow used to be in my top 3 slots as last I left it. The storylines were still on point. But leading up to Crisis and the show ending, there were some things that worked for me and some that didn’t. Still, kudos to the team for standing their ground and saying that we’ve told all we can tell, let’s put this show to bed and give it a close it deserves. It made the ending super emotional, but at the same time satisfying despite, Oliver’s death in the universe. My only complaint is the fact that the producers can’t put it fully to bed and now want to reboot Arrow all over again with Mia and the canaries. Don’t get me wrong watching strong women take more of the leading roles is awesome, but not to tell and retell the same storylines.

Season 7: The first half of the season when Oliver was in Iron Heights was not my favorite. Mainly because as it continues to develop it was like all the reasons he got put in Iron Heights to begin with no longer mattered. Diaz is still on the lose, he’s still playing his games in prison, and really what was the point? Now the second half of the season where we focus on his rehabilitation into society and working with the SCPD to track and take down his sister Emiko, was actually good. Too bad it got horribly overshadowed by a time travel flash-forward storyline to introduce and make us care about Mia.

Season 8: Obviously this season was the closeout season and the season leading up to Crisis. But I liked the way they treated it. They gave cameo spots and guest starring spots to former faces like Thea (she’s still freaking awesome), Tommy, Moira, and even Merlyn came back. My only complaint was that all of sudden we did have another time travel situation on our hands to meet our future kids. Thankfully I felt Arrow overall took that development better than the Flash, which since that was only a couple episodes and not a season, says something about the writing. Plus the post-Crisis pilot for the Green Arrow and Canaries felt a little out of place given everything that happened and a little insulting.

#5 - Supergirl

There’s parts of Supergirl I still absolutely love to pieces and the writing that are still doing it the justice that started the show by telling storylines of not only heroism, but commentary on today’s events to help push for progress. I love the whole cast of characters and think the acting has been great. My only complaint is with Season 5 and the fact that the show is beginning to find its tipping point of being less than stellar. I mean, I still enjoy it, but it’s beginning to show its where and tear so I’m worried what’s going to happen as it continues forward. Especially as it gets hyperfixated on Lex Luthor, who don’t get me wrong is a fabulous villain, but isn’t that Superman’s arch nemesis, not Supergirl’s?

Season 4: What a great commentary to tell throughout the season that parallels the feelings and conversations being had about immigration in our own world. I thought the idea of the Alien Amnesty Act squaring off against Ben Lockwood and his Agents of Liberty was not only great commentary but great story telling. I also loved that we got to introduce Nia Nall into the series because she’s fantastic and has become one of my favorite characters. I even love the twist reveal of how Ben Lockwood isn’t the enemy, it’s really Lex Luthor and his communist Supergirl clone. Plus Jon Crier plays an amazing Lex Luthor.

Season 5: Don’t get me wrong, the stakes and the storylines with Leviathan and Obsidian North, I do think are important and worth telling, but they detracted from the main storyline that developed at the end of last season which was Lena and Kara’s new relationship. Yes, it was still hit on and explored, but by far that was the storyline I was interested in seeing the most, not Ramah Khan or Virtual Reality horror stories. Also, while I like Lex, thanks to his antics during Crisis, the second half of the season felt hijacked and became this witch hunt. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to see what he and Lillian are doing, but I wish it played out more in the shadows and less of the actual screen time. I’m also glad Lena is back on Kara’s side again. But Brainy better not be dead! He’s one of my favorites even if his motives during this season were hard to watch.

#4 - Batwoman

I actually really, really, really liked Batwoman’s first season. Getting to know the badass that is Kate Kane and watch the horror’s of Gotham play out week to week was such a refreshing change of pace. After all, The Flash and Supergirl are undeniably heroes and must carry those burdens(?) as they fight for truth and justice. And Oliver was a vigilante, but while he took down drug lords, weapons dealers, etc. the stakes of being a vigilante in Star City is nothing compared to wearing the cape in Gotham. I loved the cast and seeing the stories play out of their past and how they connect to each other and also how some of them discover who Batwoman is, was fantastic. Even as creepy as Alice is, I enjoyed seeing the performance of the completely unhinged and psychotic villain take the stage to play out her twisted fantasies. I also appreciate the openness that Kate brought to being an out and proud lesbian, even revealing her super identity to a teenager to prove that it does get better and lesbians can be awesome is super freaking powerful. I even like that with the shortened season, it didn’t feel like we got robbed of an awesome storyline, but now we get to why this ranks fourth on my list instead of higher: Ruby Rose left the show and we get a whole new Batwoman. I get that this is out of the hands of the producers and the writers and I am super sad to see her go. But its hard not to feel like we lost a whole season of introduction and development to just reset and begin again. I’m not sure how they will handle it, but I do hope that a lot of the cast stays and stays in their roles. Especially Luke and Mary who are a great team. Mary is also like my all time, instant-favorite character because not only is she super wicked smart, but she has so much humanity in her so I hope she still continues on the show.

#3 - Stargirl

Yes, yes, this show is still airing which is why I can’t speak to the overall season arc in finality yet, but I absolutely have been loving this first season. Again, what a refreshing new reality to step into and what a great new storyline to pursue. This rag-tag group of teenagers becoming the new Justice Society of America is a fun telling and already, the stakes of the Injustice Society are so high! Like I was expecting that it was going to be like the other shows where slowly by slowly we meet all the bad guys in different seasons, but instead it feels a little flipped since we don’t have all our new heroes on the stage yet. Still I love Courtney and her relationship with Pat as she discovers these secrets of his past and their new home of Blue Valley. I love her recruiting reasoning to bring Yolanda and Rick into this crazy plan and even her acceptance of Beth becoming the new Doctor Midnight. Plus, the show keeps surprising me because on one hand, giving these teenagers these powers to help them redeem their self esteem is a great storyline, which is why I was expecting them to force us to like Cindy since the beginning of that episode was leading up to maybe becoming friends with her, but no. Turns out she is the super bitch and super villain of the show and that’s kinda awesome. Also I like how because their teenagers, their secret identities aren’t really that secret, which makes it’s kinda fun, but also dangerous. We’ll see how the last 3 episodes play out, but I can’t wait.

#2 - Black Lightening

Talk about real gritty, dark, and powerful storytelling. I enjoyed the first season, but these last two have been a real punch in the gut in good ways and the writers have been outdoing themselves to provide heartfelt, real, honest emotions and discussions to the world of superheroes, compared to the other shows. And it’s hard, but the gruesome nature of the show also highlights some of the real struggles going on in the Freeland Community which of course highlights the issues in our own world around the Black Community. The whole spinal chord ripping scene will haunt me forever and not only because they keep replaying it, but because of how insane that was. The cast is also great and I love that at the end of Season 3, it’s not just a family of super heroes, but a group of powerful metas squaring off against the government and the most dangerous threat of all so far: Gravedigger. Gives me goose bumps just thinking about it.

Season 2: Now that the whole family knows the stakes of what they have gotten themselves into with Tobias and revealing the girls have power, I love the way we got introduced to the ASA and the pod kids as a menial threat while still struggling to take down the perceived ‘bigger threat’ that is Tobias. Jennifer also having trouble coming to terms with her powers and how to use them I think was a great way to explore that not everyone wants to be a superhero, especially in antithesis to Nyssa who is a full on badass as Thunder and Blackbird. Watching Khalil’s story in this go from obedient lap dog to a runaway and finally a victim of Tobias’ violence was hard, but I felt was justified throughout and made him that character you want to root for, even when not everything he’s done has been great.

Season 3: What a harsh turn of direction. A full on occupation of Freeland, house arrest, killings on the street, and an underground railroad of metas or suspected metas completely changed the tune of this show. Watching each of the Peirces struggle to find out who the ASA is, what their doing, if their actions are justified and if the Marcovian threat was real was really fascinating to watch. The showdown with the Marcovians too with a whole team behind them was also a nice change of pace, even if their mission didn’t end the way they expected. I think the amplified stakes though of what happened and what’s to come will continue to develop into an incredible show, minus one now big problem I have, but I will detail that out below when we talk about Crisis.

#1 - Legends of Tomorrow

You can fight me, but Legends of Tomorrow is the best goddamn shown on this network for one simple fact: They don’t take themselves seriously. There is no real angst and because of that it makes the adventures so fun and so hilarious that its such a great break from all of the other shows. Plus, because they keep swapping new and old cast members into the show, it always feels new. Kinda that Doctor Who spirit, which I love. That and because there are hardly any rules to a time travelling group of heroes who don’t really want to be heroes, you get ridiculously themed episodes like Bollywood Musical or TV Crossovers. It is what makes the show a total blast.

Season 4: As the team gears up to track down magical creatures throughout history, you get the introduction of permanent team member, John Constantine who I freaking love for his cool, aloof character and yet sarcastic and sassy contrast to the sunshine and bro-squad that is Ray and Nate. I also love that the season not only was about capturing these magical creatures, but fully rehabilitating Norah Dhark into a good guy now accidentally turned fairy godmother. To be honest, I definitely did not see that one coming. I like that fighting the demon lord also helped transition the show from Season 4 to 5 to fight hell spawn creatures. Quite a leap from the original Legends concept, but again that’s what makes this show so fresh.

Season 5: Part of the other fun of Legends is getting to see old characters get reinvented. I loved the storyline with Charlie and her reveal to be Clothos, one of the 3 fate sisters and the reason the ancient loom got destroyed. I also loved Tala Ashe’s portrayal of Zari in a different timeline because the difference between tech-geek, super smart Zari and social influencer extraordinaire Zari were well done. Plus we got another awesome bro-squad member in Behrad who I hope sticks around for a while. The only bummer was saying goodbye to Ray Palmer. Ray has been one of my favorite characters in the Arrow-verse and seeing his exit was sad and partly because I think it could have been handled better. Like don’t get me wrong, seeing him have to get approval from Damian Dhark to marry Nora was entertaining and I’m glad he isn’t dead like Dr. Stein or Leonard Snart, but I just feel like the exit was a bit rushed. The good news is, it opens the door for Ray to return and I hope we get to seem in the future.

Alright...... To end this long spiel, let’s talk about Crisis on Infinite Earths and what that now means for all these shows. Because unfortunately.... it can’t be ignored. And I’m sorry to sound pessimistic, but to be honest, Crisis wasn’t my favorite story and was too hyped for the end result.

The only show who came out better for Crisis, in my opinion, was Arrow. Mainly because the story of Oliver’s last sacrifice to reboot the universe was the only one that made complete sense and doesn’t complicate the show after it happens. Granted it could be because it was used as the show’s exit, but still. I used to love crossover episodes and getting the whole team together, but now because there is soooo much going on in each show and such a large cast, these big multi-night and multi-universe shows just feel scattered because you are constantly hopping around and between each of the characters and all the individual storylines don’t matter. Like remember when Barry and Oliver would actually talk about what they were up against? Miss that. That and Oliver, Barry, and Kara stole the show even when it was other shows turn to shine. Like Kate was hardly in it, even in her own episode and the Legends weren’t in it at all. It was just Sara and Ray which was disappointing because as Crisis was their season opener, you missed a real chance to have the Legends save the day. Don’t get my wrong, there were some great moments during crisis and I liked the nod to past versions of the DC characters, including Brandon Routh getting to play Superman again, but overall it just made chaos for things that don’t make sense post-crisis.

Like yay, all our favorite heroes are in one place and created the justice league to help each other, but once Crisis is over, nope sorry, no one can be bothered to borrow a hero friend. Like that makes sense for some shows, Batwoman for instance isn’t that close to everyone and her storyline is so rooted in her own family drama, that ignoring the other supers made sense. The Flash’s stakes weren’t high enough to involve anyone else, so fine. And Legends of course travel through time and so aren’t around, fine. But Supergirl’s takedown of a longstanding secret group of people capable of bending Earth’s elements to create catastrophic events, isn’t enough to at least reach out to Cisco or Luke for help tracking them? That seems underwhelming. Plus where are the aliens in all the other cities now? Or the metas in National City? That’s a pet peeve, but more so because of the biggest twist in Crisis:

Pulling Black Lightening into the Arrowverse. Like the shows writers and producers, I think Black Lightening works better outside the Arrowverse which was the intent and goal from the get go. Pulling Jefferson Pierce’s family and world into the same Earth as all the other shows, no longer makes the shows storytelling as strong and maybe it was because this was a last minute decision, but there is just no justification post Crisis as to why they had to come in. I mean, The Flash and Black Lightening have metas related issues, you would think that alone would be a prime source of teaming up. Especially when Cisco goes out on a worldwide quest to document metas, you’re telling me skipped over Freeland? And where’s our favorite Kyrptonian to fight for truth, justice, and the American way as Freeland is being occupied by the ASA? Oh, what too busy going after Lex Luthor? Sorry, I’m not buying that Kara Danvers ignores racial injustice. Like I get that maybe it was a way to be able to use Black Lightening later in cross-over events, but the fallout from bringing them in this season with everything going on is a huge mistake in my opinion. And heck, having shows exist outside each other is probably a good thing. Too many and these crossover events don’t feel fun anymore, they just feel chaotic. I think I’m with the Legends on this one: the crossovers aren’t worth it anymore.

#cw dc universe #thoughts #reactions #legends of tomorrow #black lightening #stargirl #batwoman #supergirl #arrow #the flash #crisis on infinite earths

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argyle-s · 5 years

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On Supercorp

So, I am aware that, among certain circles, I have a bit of a reputation as an “anti”. Anti-Supercorp, Anti-Lena. I’ll admit, the reputation is well deserved. I have, over the past few months, made a lot of anti-Lena posts. Since Septemper 25 of this year, I have posted more than two hundred posts with the “anti lena luthor” tag.

Now, I’ve never really been a quiet fan. Even before I started making posts tagged anti lena luthor, I was on the Sunshine Protection Force’s block list, because I dared to make a meme for a ship that Vv doesn’t approve of as a gift for a friend. I once dared to point out that Kara was more likely to go to Alex with a question about something she didn’t understand, and got called a ‘granny stanning fuck’. I got harassed to the point of taking down one of my fics because a bunch of teenagers in the Sanvers fandom didn’t like me writing about Alex and Maggie engaging in self destructive behavior. Oh, and I had dared to write posts criticizing Lena’s behavior.

But why the sudden, vehement dislike of Lena and the Supercorp ship?

In order to explain that, I have to explain a bit about who I am. I am a 43 year old bisexual trans woman. I transitioned about 2 months after my 42 birthday. I grew up in a deeply religious, homophobic, transphobic home. My grandmother and her second husband were my primary care takes for the time I was about 6 months old, until he died when I was 16. I finally managed to move out when I was about 21. By the time I moved out of my grandmother’s house, I was already involved with a woman who was ten years older than me.

I was abused for the first 34 years of my life. First by my Grandmother and her husband, then by my intimate partner. When I was a child, I got the full buffet. Mental, emotional and physical abuse. My Grandmother liked wire and plastic fly swatters. Her husband liked leather belts, his firsts, and on one notable occasion, a buck knife. I at various times watched him try to murder one of my uncles with said knife, and try to choke my brother to death. He was a prescription drug addict, and his moods were as unpredictable as his choice of drugs each morning. I met my ex, who was my first girlfriend, when I was 19 and she was 29. She spent two years grooming me. We first slept together when I was 21 and she was 31. We were together for 13 years, and the best thing I can say about her is that she never hit me. The physical abuse stopped when I was sixteen and my grandmother’s husband died, but not being hit doesn’t mean that twenty-two years of my life weren’t filled with horrible abuse and violence.

I eventually escaped. I got lucky. My brother got remained to an abuse survivor, and the more she and I interacted, the more she picked up on the signs of abuse. It took her years to coax me into standing up for myself, and when I finally did, when I finally stood up to my ex and said ‘you’re abusing me’ she immediately threw me out. It was honestly the kindest thing she’d ever done for me. She literally released me from the promises and commitment I had made to her, and let me walk away from the hellscape of that life with a clean conscience.

I walked away, but not without lasting injury, and permanent scars. I have depression, anxiety, CPTSD and an eating disorder. I’ve spent long periods of my life dealing with suicidal tendencies. And I was, at the time I walked away, a 34 year old closeted trans woman.

What does all of that have to do with Supercorp you ask?

Pretty much everything.

Kara Zor-El has been my favorite Superhero since I was about 8 years old and say the Helen Slater movie for the first time. Up until that point, Superman has held the crown, but I felt a much deeper connection to Kara than I ever did as Clark. It would be decades before I really understood why she resonated so strongly, but my love for Kara has always been there.

Then 2015 rolled around, and Supergirl premiered, and I was blown away. This was a version of Kara that I connected with so much more deeply that any other version. This was everything I had ever wanted. I fell in love with the show, and with Kara Danvers. I felt a kinship and a connection to the character at the time in my life when I was struggling deeply with depression and anxiety.

As ridiculous as it may sound, Supergirl was a lifeline. The show filled me with so much hope that I could survive, that I could make it. Kara was a roll model. She’s been through something horrible, and she came out of it and all she wanted to do was help. And no matter how hard things were, no matter how cruel the world was to her, she still had hope, she still had strength, and she still did everything she could to help.

I came out the summer between the first season and the second. Told the world that I am bisexual, that I have gender disphoria. I did it in the wake of the Pulse Shooting.

A few weeks later, I got Kara’s symbol tattooed on my arm. Below it are Cat Grant’s words. “Hope in Stronger Than Fear.” I did it as a reminder to myself.

Then season two started.

I admit, I didn’t pay much attention to Lena at first. Cat, who I loved was gone, and I was swept up in Alex’s coming out storyline. Lena was just kind of there. I didn’t really connect to her. But what I did see... It bothered me. The alien detector storyline in her second episode left a sour taste in my mouth. The fact that she put Kara's life on the line by telling Lillian that Kara was investigating her. It wasn't really until the end of Ace Reporter (2x18) that I really noticed just how uncomfortable her character made me. There was something about that final scene between her and Kara that just didn't sit right. Looking back, I think it's because that's the first time (at least that I remember) that Lena shifts the responsibility for her behavior onto Kara. It's subtle, it's all the in the subtext of what she's saying, but it's there.

The next disturbing moment is in 3x02, and the confrontation between Kara and Lena. Kara sets a boundary. She tells Lena the problem she is having in personal, and that she doesn't want to talk about it at work. Lena, instead of respecting that boundary, instead of backing off, immediately punishes Kara for daring to not share every detail of her life. Yes, Kara was not doing her job, but Lena's obviously knew Kara was having issues, and she came down on Kara the way she did to punish her for having boundaries and feelings.

From there, Lena's actions towards Kara get more and more questionable, and I will not go through and innumerate all of them. I've done so in a number of other posts. But there is a slow but steady building of a pattern of abuse between Lena and Kara, with Lena as the abuser and Kara as the victim. It gets progressively worse. The pattern is clear. Lena expects Kara to be completely emotionally available to her at all times. She feels entitled to Kara's every thought and feeling. She expects and allows Kara to perform all the emotional labor in the relationship. And any time Kara doesn't to all of this, any time Kara sets a boundary, or isn't available at Lena's whim, Lena punishes Kara for it. The clearest example of this, prior to the Lex reveal, was in American Dreamer (4x19) when Lena lays into Kara for not being there for her.

And ultimately, that's what is going on in season 5. All of Season 5 so far, with the exception of Crisis, is Lena's attempt to punish Kara for not making every single part of her life available to Lena. And there is a dangerous level of escalation to Lena's abuse that we see, even before the season starts. In the preview, we see that there is a clear desire, on Lena's part, to physically harm Kara. It wouldn't actually be the first time. Lena allows Kara to get hurt by not telling her that the forcefield will hurt her if she uses her x-ray vision on it back in The Fanatical (3x19). It's a horrible moment, but I'm not including it in the pattern of abuse directed towards Kara, because at the time, Lena didn't know Supergirl and Kara were the same person. I realize some people are going to point out that what was say in the VR simulations were just that, simulations, but Lena does, eventually, especalate to physical abuse in Tremors (5x07) when she cages Kara in ice and exposes her to Kryptonite.

Now that I've laid out all the back story here, let's address the original question. Why am I so vehemently anti lena luthor and anti supercorp?

Because watching Kara and Lena's relationship feels very much like watching the nightmare of my relationship with my ex play out in front of my eyes. The slow escalation of abuse. The gaslighting. The punishment for having feelings. The inability of Kara to hold any part of her life back from Lena without being punished for her. Kara is one of my favorite characters in all of fiction. She has been for 35 years. I feel a personal connection and kinship to her, and watching her be abused so badly and so long, until we get an entire episode like The Wrath of Rama Khan (5x08) where she sounds like nothing so much as a battered woman defending her abuser, is painful. But worse than that, watching the Supercorp fandom glorify and romanticize it, watching then take delight in "the angst", is horrifying.

Kara is being abused by Lena, and the Supercorp fandom is out there cheering Lena on. They are claiming that the abuse is absolutely justified by the fact that Kara kept a secret. They are baying for the escalation of violence against Kara by Lena.

It's disgusting. It is.

I don't expect this post to change the minds of the Supercorp die hards or the Lena die hards. But there are people in this fandom who are going to see the fandom holding up Kara and Lena and screaming 'relationship goals'. I hope they see this post, because there are people out there who genuinely need to hear that the dynamic between Kara and Lena isn't health, it isn't okay, it's nothing to be emulated or envied. The relationship between Kara and Lena is sick, and toxic, and abusive. If anyone *ever* treats you the way Lena treats Kara. Run. I don't care what you've promised them. I don't care what committments you made. Run. Just run.

Because that kind of abuse will wear you down, it well tear you apart. It will make you long for death. It will make you dream of putting a gun in your mouth.

I know. Because it did all of that to me.

That's why I have two hundred plus posts tagged anti lena luthor.

But I'm not tagging this one that way, because it's not hating on a character to tell the truth. And the truth is, Lena Luthor is an abuser, and she's a villain.

#supergirl #lena luthor #kara danvers #supergirl meta #abuse #domestic abuse #abusive relationships

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tvcoroner · 4 years

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Kara Deserves Better...Than This Fandom (Huge Rant)

I have a question to ask people.

Why the hell are you freaking out about William so much? You have no fucking clue where this is going to lead. Do you remember when you guys lost your shit for WEEKS after William asked her out the first time and the result was Kara telling him she wasn’t interested?

Sure, she only did that because Lena has made her feel so insecure about keeping her secret as Supergirl that she was scared to open up, but you idiots lost your minds for weeks for NOTHING.

And your dislike for William does not match his oh so horrendous crime of being mean to her a few times at the start of the season. Like seriously, book-fucking-hoo. Lena literally manipulated Kara and then encased her with kryptonite, a substance that is AGONIZING to her, and you people excused that away in an instant. William isn’t kind for a little while? Well, he’s canceled now!

But to me, the most ridiculous part is that so many of you are taking this like it’s a personal insult to you. Like this is only happening to give you the middle finger.

Get the fuck over yourself, you self-absorbed baby. This might come as a surprise, but decisions are made on this show without anyone giving a fuck what you think or feel, and I honestly don’t blame them for that after the years of literal bullying you have sent their way.

You cannot treat people like shit and then expect to get what you want, and treating people like shit has been your primary method of expressing yourself almost the entire run of the show.

If seeing Kara being happy is such a problem for you because she’s not happy in the exact way or for the exact reasons you want her to be happy, then I’m sorry to report the obvious here, but you don’t give a fuck about Kara.

I have seen way too many of you throw her under the bus at every opportunity. This season alone has shown more than any previous that so many of you people care more about what Kara can represent for you than the person she is or what she does.

I mean, the Supercorp fandom can barely manage to give a damn about Kara anymore. For a long time now Supercorp has been about Lena, and what’s good for Kara is secondary to that, if even that.

This season has just shown time and again how little respect so many of you have for Kara. Most of the time it’s because of poor baby Lena, so misunderstood with her mind control and human experimentation and torturing Kara with kryptonite.

I watch a lot of reaction channels. Probably too many. While some were sympathetic towards Kara when she told Lena enough is enough, a lot of them got angry at Kara for daring to call Lena out on her bullshit. I mean, when Kara said if Lena continues to act like a villain then she will be treated like one, a large chunk of them just turned on Kara for daring to hold their Queen accountable for her shitty actions.

Call me crazy, but I want something good for Kara. I want her to focus on herself and what she wants. If what she wants is William then I’m behind her completely, if she discovers she wants something completely different then I’m still right there with her.

This show is called Supergirl, not Lena Luthor, but so many of you treat Kara like her entire existence is there to fit whatever agenda you’re trying to push, and every single time she operates outside of your fantasies you tear her down.

And William hasn’t done nearly enough to earn so much hostility. For the vast majority of his screentime this whole season he has been a pretty good guy, and his reasons for keeping Kara at a distance at first made a lot of sense. People reaching to him being mean a few times as an excuse to give him shit are so laser-focused on such a minor, stupid thing that they use it to define his entire character.

Meanwhile, Lena can get away with FAR worse shit and have people in this fandom practically bend over backward trying to justify it. It’s extremely disingenuous.

This fandom’s constant need to demonize every male character on this show that even gets close to Lena or Kara is disturbing. I mean, they were still giving James Olsen shit for not trusting Lena for one episode in season 2. They were so desperate to demonize him that they completely ignored every single time he had her back after that, including taking a fucking bullet for her. And unlike Kara, he can actually be killed by one, so it’s much more significant when he does it.

You know what? I’m fairly indifferent to the growing relationship between Kara and William. 99% of my focus is on Kara doing something good for herself. That may change with time, because, and for some reason a lot of idiots are missing this very simple fact, Kara and William are not a couple yet. They’re going to see where this takes them. They’re not in a committed relationship, they haven’t done anything even remotely intimate yet.

You people keep acting like this is being rushed but nothing has happened yet. Literally nothing has been rushed. We’re 14 episodes into this season and they only just got to the “Let’s go on a date and see what happens” phase.

Just for the record, every single relationship on this has happened faster than Kara and William. Is Maggie and Alex’s relationship now less significant because it happened a lot faster? How about Kara and Mon-El? Alex and Kelly? Lena and James? Brainy and Nia?

The show rushes every relationship out there, and Kara and William are the least rushed, so using that as yet more ammo against them is kinda stupid.

I am just...so tired of this fandom’s selective memory and outrage. So many of you get almost psychotically angry at the dumbest shit. You treat people like garbage but still expect to get what you want. You bully actors, you misread things intentionally and then get angry when the show exists in spite of the fantasy you built up, and you have double standards for EVERYTHING.

I mean come on, Lena can experiment on human beings and you will excuse her for it, but if someone acts a little mean, and by sheer coincidence, he happens to be a man, you will tear him down for that for YEARS. But Lena Luthor gets a free pass on everything.

You know what, after watching this fandom go to shit over the last five years, I absolutely understand why most of the actors on this show barely interact with anyone anymore. I can understand why the writers ignore you at every turn. I can understand why Melissa and Chris turned off comments for both their engagement and baby announcements.

And just because it’s not plainly obvious to the professionally offended, if you don’t participate in this toxic behavior then I’m not talking about you anywhere in this. In a world where people didn’t look for excuses to be offended by people, I wouldn’t need to make this obvious statement, but if I don’t put down a disclaimer somewhere I will get one of those stupid comments about how I’m unfairly judging those who don’t do any of this. This entire fucking rant is one big qualifier, genius. If you don’t fit in then I’m obviously not talking about you.

#supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor el #william dey #mon-el #james olsen

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missluthorwillseeyounow · 5 years

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In You, I Find Rest (SuperCorp fanfic)

One-shot set in season 3 (possibly around 3x19, after their argument in the lab but before Kara goes to Argo). I’m hazy on the timeline since I only ever watch Lena’s scenes. There are mentions of M*n-el, but it’s not endgame lol.

Summary: Lena is hurt, and guilty, and exhausted. She needs help. Maybe Supergirl can’t help her, but Kara Danvers can.

.....

It’s well into the night by the time Kara returns to L-Corp to check in on the situation with Reign. Lena is deep in the labs, working ceaselessly.

Lena looks impeccable as always. Everything about her appearance is meticulously polished, and she looks every inch the powerhouse CEO.

As if she hasn’t been sleeplessly working herself to the bone to help Sam for the past few weeks. As if she hasn’t been pushing herself to her very human limits these past few days at the L-Corp labs and the DEO.

As if the being who has taken over one of her closest friends hasn’t been trying to wear her down and making violent threats to her life and to the rest of the world, using Sam’s face and Sam’s voice to rub salt in the wound.

To anyone else, Lena looks as if she could not only walk into a boardroom full of rich executives any second, but slay every single misogynistic pig in a suit there.

But Kara, who knows her the way she does, can practically feel Lena’s exhaustion from across the room.

The bags under her eyes are invisible, expertly covered by concealer -- but the jade of Lena’s eyes are tired and lackluster, devoid of the mischievous sparkle that Kara so adores. Her posture is erect, almost militaristic, and her head held high -- but Kara knows that by now, Lena is being held together mostly by her unrelenting stubbornness and the sheer force of her indomitable will.

Kara is in awe of her.

She can’t do anything for Lena as Supergirl, because right now, Lena doesn’t trust Supergirl. If their conversation in the elevator and Lena’s cold brush-off of Supergirl’s attempts at reconciliation is any indication, any attempt Kara makes as Supergirl to help will likely just make Lena more defensive and reluctant to accept help.

But she has to try.

Lena is standing in front of the barrier separating her from the Kryptonian that has somehow taken over their friend’s body. Reign is impossible to see beyond the lead barrier, and it strains Kara’s eyes to try and get a glimpse of her.

The green glow of Kryptonite is muted behind the barrier, and Kara approaches tentatively, testing both her reaction to the Kryptonite and Lena’s reaction to her presence.

Lena doesn’t see her at first. She’s staring at the Kryptonite too, her eyes dark and deep, as if she’s gone into a part of herself Kara can’t see. It’s only Kara’s sharp hearing the lets her catch Lena’s murmured words as she stares at the barrier.

“I’m sorry, Sam. I should’ve -- I didn’t mean for you to get hurt like this. You deserve better.”

Kara knows the exact moment Lena realizes she’s there, because she tips her head unconsciously, almost unwillingly, in her direction. She doesn’t meet Kara’s gaze, but the dark in Lena’s eyes shifts outward, sharpening, laced with something almost like disdain. It makes Kara’s heart squeeze painfully in her chest.

“You shouldn’t be here, Supergirl. I can’t guarantee that the Kryptonite won’t penetrate the barrier.”

Said Kryptonite delivers less of a sting than Lena’s caustic tone. Kara flinches slightly, but she doesn’t respond to it. The last thing their strained relationship needs is for Kara to rise to the bait.

Instead, she reaches out a tentative hand to touch Lena’s shoulder, stopping just before she makes physical contact, because she’s unsure how Lena will take it. Kara’s not sure Lena saw the small, uncertain movement, because Lena still isn’t looking at her, but at the barrier in front of her.

Kara drops her arm uselessly. She hates this. Hates being this uncertain toward Lena. All she wants right now is to put her arms around her friend and give her a safe space where she can rest, let the exhaustion seep out from her bones until she’s just soft and vulnerable, the way Lena always is with Kara.

She hates that now, she can’t even touch Lena’s arm because Lena doesn’t trust her. Not Supergirl her. Her arm flops limply to her side, and she gives the other woman a small, hesitant smile.

“You should get some rest.”

Lena doesn’t even look at her. The only answer Supergirl gets is a curt “I’m fine.”

Kara sighs. “Lena, we’ve been at this for days. And you’ve been working with Sam for weeks. You need to rest. When was the last time you had a good night’s sleep?”

At this, Lena finally looks at her, but Kara thinks that’s worse, because her eyes are so cold and sharp, it sends a bolt of ice straight through Kara’s heart. It’s a look Lena reserves for her enemies, and Kara has never been on the receiving end of such a look from her.

“I said I’m fine, Supergirl. I don’t need rest. What I need is for my friend to be alright. What I need is to stop Reign from trying to annihilate the world and everyone in it. What I need is to give Ruby her mother back. That is the only way I’ll get a good night’s sleep.” Lena’s voice is barely above a whisper, but it cuts through Kara effortlessly like a knife. “So while I appreciate the concern, it’s unnecessary, and it only detracts from the work I could be doing instead of talking to you.”

Kara can feel the tears pricking the backs of her eyes, and it takes tremendous effort not to let them fall. She’s seen firsthand how ruthless Lena can be, the cold power she wields when she takes someone apart with just her words and her perceptive mind. She knows how well Lena can strike at someone else’s weak points and use it to hurt them. Lena knows which tactics are most effective to take down her enemies, and Kara’s always been proud of her friend’s brilliance at putting them in their place. She’s seen Lena do it often enough with entitled businessmen and vindictive naysayers.

But it’s never been directed at her.

The coldness with which Lena deals with her is deliberate and cutting, as she knows Lena means it to be. But it still doesn’t negate the hurt in Kara’s chest, so she nods curtly and makes a hasty exit with nothing more than a murmured “I’ll leave you to it. Good night, Miss Luthor.”

She waits until she’s out of Lena’s sight before pulling out her phone. She almost doesn’t want to do it. The sting in her chest from Lena’s cold words and demeanor almost stops her.

But she thinks of the darkness in her friend’s eyes, the exhaustion in her frame that she refuses to show to anyone else, the guilt that’s eating away at her that’s a perfect companion to the guilt eating away at Kara whenever she thinks of Sam.

Lena is hurt, and guilty, and exhausted. She needs help.

And maybe Supergirl can’t help her, but Kara Danvers can.

Trying to calm her breathing, she pulls up Lena’s number from her contacts and calls her, waiting nervously for Lena to answer.

“Kara?” Lena’s voice is already lighter and a great deal warmer when she answers. The stark difference makes Kara’s chest twinge painfully.

“Lena, h-hi!” She struggles to find the usual cheer in her voice to cover her trepidation. She’s Kara Danvers, and Lena is never cold with Kara Danvers, even if she is cold to Supergirl. There’s no reason for her nervousness. “I just handed in my article to Snapper, and I’m getting off work. I’ve been thinking about you lately. We haven’t seen each other as often as we used to. If you’re free, we should have a girls’ night tonight.”

On the other end of the line, Lena hesitates. From around the corner, Kara can hear her tapping away at her computer in the lab, and she almost wants to change into her civilian clothes and go to her in there. “I - Kara, I have a lot of work I need to do, with Sam and….”

“Please, Lena? I really miss my best friend.” It’s not hard for Kara to let a genuinely plaintive note enter her voice, because it’s the truth. She does miss her best friend. “I’ve got that wine you like so much, and we can make a nest on my couch.”

She hears Lena sigh on the other end, the weariness in her voice evident for the first time tonight. She can almost hear Lena’s smile. “Alright. Let me just finish things here. I’ll see you in twenty.”

“Great!” Kara smiles too, already feeling warmer and lighter. “See ya!”

She hangs up and speeds out of L-Corp back into her apartment, readying everything for Lena’s arrival -- Lena’s favorite wine that she keeps in her fridge, the nest of fluffy pillows and blankets that is a requirement for their girls’ nights, and her softest pair of pajamas that Lena loves to borrow whenever she sleeps over.

Twenty minutes later, almost to the second, Kara hears the thrum of Lena’s heartbeat and the tread of her footsteps in the hallway outside, followed a soft knock on her apartment door.

Kara opens the door with a shaky exhale to find Lena standing there. She’s still in the same clothes she was wearing in the lab, but those are the only remnants of that conversation. Lena’s eyes are brighter, her face so much softer, and her voice is warm when she breathes out her name.

“Kara.”

There’s a bittersweet blend of emotions churning through Kara as she wraps her arms around her friend, with Lena all but melting into her, the rigid posture from before slipping slowly as she molds herself around Kara.

It hurts like a new wound, because she still remembers Lena’s cold words to her this evening, and it hurts like an old scar, because she’s still lying to her best friend, and Lena doesn’t even know she’s hurt Kara.

At the same time, there’s an overwhelming sense of relief, because it’s Lena -- her best friend in the entire universe, second only to Alex in Kara’s heart -- and it’s been so long since they’ve really held each other like this.

Kara closes her eyes and rests her chin on Lena’s shoulder, wishing they could stay like this forever, pressed close to each other’s warmth. For a few seconds, they exist in a bubble of just the two of them, and it’s like Kara can forget everything else.

Can forget that their friend is a Worldkiller. Can forget that the man she loved and mourned for has returned after she’d almost accepted that she would never see him again. Can forget that he’s married to a kind and beautiful woman who seems devoted to him. Can forget that outside of this apartment there is a Kryptonian -- a Kryptonian stronger than Kara herself -- bent on destroying the planet that Kara has come to love as her own.

When they’re like this, Kara can almost forget that she’s still lying to this remarkable woman, who is unfailingly good and kind and who loves Kara Danvers without knowing that she’s Supergirl. Can forget that she’s lost Lena’s faith, because she is Supergirl, and that name is now poisoned with anger and mistrust for Lena. She can almost forget that there’s a part of her that Lena now hates.

Eventually, they part before the embrace becomes longer than propriety requires, and Lena is the first to pull back. As she does, Kara meets her eyes, and her breath catches a little in her throat, because Lena’s gaze looks searchingly into hers -- as if she’s looking for something in Kara, and it prompts a certain kind of trepidation in her, a fear that Lena might not find what she’s looking for -- or worse, that she might find it -- and turn away.

Lena’s brow furrows, and her piercing gaze contains far too much pain than should be there, and Kara hates that she’s part of the reason that pain is there to begin with, because of the things she’s said and done as Supergirl.

Kara thinks they both know this is far too long for one friend to be staring at another, but she can’t look away. So instead, she reaches up and tucks an imaginary strand of hair behind Lena’s ear, just to have a little more physical contact. She’s always been a tactile person, and she thinks both of them need that right now.

“You look tired.”

Kara murmurs it into the space between them -- the same sentiment she had expressed as Supergirl, this time delivered by Kara Danvers, and she hopes -- Rao, she hopes -- that Lena will accept it this time.

Lena’s eyes are deep, so deep Kara feels she might drown in them if Lena keeps staring at her like that.

Sometimes Lena’s eyes remind her of the lakes in the planet of Winath. She’d seen them once on a trip with her father. The lake was so clear and deceptively translucent, inviting her to dive in, only to find herself submerged into hidden, unknown depths, with the water closing in over her head.

Kara holds her breath. She feels that way now, except this near-drowning burns her lungs in an almost delicious way as she stares into her friend’s translucent eyes, waiting for an answer.

“I am.” Lena breaks their held gaze first, exhaling, her voice soft and vulnerable. So different from their earlier conversation. “I am tired, Kara.”

And Kara breathes again.

Because she might not have Lena’s trust as Supergirl anymore, but she still has her trust as Kara Danvers.

She pulls away from Lena, but not completely, leaving them both joined at the hands. She tugs Lena over to the couch, which is smothered in blankets. Lena hesitates only a little before she takes off her high heels, and accepts Kara’s comfy pajamas.

It takes less than ten minutes for Lena to change and Kara to get everything ready for them. The bathroom door opens and Kara smiles as Lena reappears, her face devoid of makeup, her shoulders relaxed and her hair free of its chignon, falling in loose waves around her shoulders.

She looks so soft, a stark contrast to her rigid posture from before, and it makes Kara’s heart twinge to know that she’s still allowed to see Lena like this.

She scoots over to make room for her on the couch, and Lena all but crawls into the little cocoon beside her. She hears Lena’s breathy sigh as she slips under a blanket beside Kara, who takes advantage and pulls the other woman down, so that her head is on Kara’s lap.

At first, Lena stiffens, but when Kara starts to card her fingers through her hair, she relaxes with a small, barely audible moan. Kara blinks and feels her cheeks turn a little warm at the sound, but she resumes her gentle stroking of Lena’s hair until Lena relaxes and goes positively boneless against her.

Their position reminds Kara of their first girls’ night after the Daxamite invasion. The first they’d had since she had sent Mon-El away into the vast unknown of space.

Kara remembers how messed up she’d been, how she hadn’t been able to sleep for weeks and weeks, because all she saw when she closed her eyes was Mon-El, lost and terrified in the black abyss she had abandoned him to. The same black abyss Kara had been trapped in for twenty-four years.

She hadn’t wanted to go to girls’ night then. Girls’ night was something Kara Danvers did, and at that time, she’d had very little inclination to be Kara Danvers anymore.

But Lena had been there, patient and understanding, comforting in her presence. Unwilling to let Kara drown in the maelstrom of emotions that had been threatening to engulf her. But at the same time, unwilling to take any of Kara’s crap. She smiles as she remembers Lena calling her out on her behavior at CatCo.

That had been the first girls’ night they’d had in months. Kara had slumped over on the couch, physically and emotionally exhausted, and Lena had let her lay her head in her lap for the rest of the night. That had been the first good night’s sleep she’d had in months. She’d woken up, feeling more like Kara Danvers again, and she’d realized that wasn’t a bad thing.

It’s funny, because now it’s almost the exact opposite of what happened with Mon-El.

With Mon-El, she had rejected Kara Danvers for Supergirl. But with Lena now, she puts down Supergirl for a night in favor of Kara Danvers.

Because Supergirl isn’t Lena’s best friend, and Lena doesn’t trust Supergirl right now, but she lets herself be soft, lets herself be tired and human around Kara Danvers. And she lets Kara Danvers be soft and tired and human around her.

And if that means Kara can give this woman she loves so dearly a night of rest and peace, then it will be worth it.

________________

By SorrowsFlower

I’ve had this in my WIP folder for a while. Since I saw 3x19 actually, but with all the Supercorp angst going around from the trailer, I thought I’d torture myself further with a little more angst.

Not my best work, tbh, but I hope y’all like it! Please lemme know what you think?

#supercorp #katie mcgrath #melissa benoist #supergirl #lena luthor #karlena #kara danvers #kara zor-el #supercorp fanfic #reign #sam arias #fanfic #my writing

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myownjadedpieceofmind · 5 years

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Karma's occupational hazards.

You know, it's like, the universe keeps doing it's best to keep me from understanding what the fuck the plan is.

I keep wondering if I'm paying some price for the stupidity of my past actions, like karma is playing itself out in my life and I'm just stuck here watching it unfold. And the sad thing is, its almost like I expect it, and I'm not even surprised by any of it.

I'll do my best to explain. I spent 17 years in a relationship with a man that was once my best friend, and who slowly became someone I didnt know at all. Someone who made me feel like I didn't have any rights in this world, and someone who tried very hard to keep me under his thumb. His early infidelity in our relationship, along with the gratuitous drug use, caused a ever growing resentment and a need to feel like I was more than a waste of space. I craved validation and love and care and the human touch. I chased the feeling of lust and love like it was a drug, and I looked everywhere but my own home.

When he and I parted ways, it was because I had gotten with Karas. At the time, she was married. Owned a business, a nice house, and a crippling amount of debt, shared it all with a wife that mentally wrecked her, and physically abused her. So, out of an affair came the best relationship I had ever known. I say that only because, man, I don't have extensive experience with people. I'm not even sure how to date. And I've literally had 4 memorable relationships my whole life. So, from what I know of life..

She and I were perfect.

I couldn't have imagined a better person to compliment my shade of crazy. It sounds so dumb in a way, because she went to prison because of our decisions and I was a drug addict who is lucky she didn't end up spending the next 20 years in prison. I literally almost died for the whole "business" she and I had been spending our time on. The stress we were both under and the crazy shit that was going on, and I still felt more loved and protected and cared for than I have my entire life. Where the hell is the logic?

However.

I had a hand in wrecking someone else's world. Not just one someone. But... my ex. Her ex. Her step-son. And even though they are better for it, my kids were affected as well. Yes, my ex is definitely better for it. He's remarried to a wonderful woman, they've had a baby and own a nice house--- and he's a good daddy to his kids now. I'm proud of him. Karas' ex, well... who knows. She's a miserable person in general. Who knows if she's better for it. The point isnt whether people are better or worse, it's that I caused them the trauma in the first place. I cant take responsibility for karas' side in any of it...I can only own my own.

I don't know if caleb was a part of that karma thing or not, but if so, I'd like to know what I did to deserve that. I think it was a good way of showing me how wounded my emotional being is still. It was the kind of experience you need to remind you what you want in life, only because of how badly you don't want to keep living in that experience. It caught me by surprise how easily I tripped into the mindset of the abused, and actually thought I was doing something to cause him to be the way he was. I literally made the excuse that I had thrown something at him, and that should have excused him from wrapping his fingers around my throat and shoving me into the wall. That if I had just paid more attention he wouldn't have...

It doesn't matter. What happened happened. I didn't deserve what he did, plain and simple. It was/is a nightmare that I will have a long time to heal from.

As I go to bed alone over and over again, and I take myself out on dates, buy groceries to make meals for one, and cry over the journals of past life plans, I guess I'm realizing that this is probably all some karma coming around my way. I spent so much time looking for that feeling of being loved, wrapped up in what I thought was my definition of perfect. Crushed by my own expectations that fall short, and a constant need to understand what is wrong with me.

I know this probably doesnt make a whole lot of sense to you. It doesn't have to. It just boils down to seeing more and more the part I played in creating this present reality. My psychiatrist thinks I'm doing just fine and I'm overthinking this whole energy thing. You know what I think? I think I'm still trying to understand and accept what happened to my life. Why it had to happen the way it did. And why everyone else ends up able to move on, but I'm stuck in some emotional mind warp.

I wonder, if the whole trauma of my overdose and near death caused a delayed process of some sort. I had gotten out of the hospital where Karas was the ONLY person that was there for me, gone home where karas and I spent just a short few weeks before I went back to jail. That was the last of what time we had together. I had no real closure. I'm stuck on stupid. She moved on, got a new girlfriend, spent a year with her before she was released. And now, Karas got 3 new disciplinary reports for communicating with a former inmate.

Why the fuck should I care? Oh. Yeah. Because I had some short circuit in my head that said she was the best thing for me, and it didn't get the memo that she doesn't want me anymore. I was convinced that she'd come to her senses and realize how much she loves me, remember that she called me her happily ever after, and the promises she made when I would tell her how scared I was to lose her in there.

I'll get it, someday. It really just fucking sucks.

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the-wlw-cafe · 5 years

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Sisterly Intervention

Request: (possible trigger warning) Could I get a oneshot where the reader is Kara and Alex's little sister and they find out that you're in an abusive relationship?

Fandom: Supergirl

Warnings: abusive/controlling romantic relationship

Word Count: 1369

I’m sorry I won’t be able to make it to sister’s night today.

You’ve lost track of how often you said these words in the last weeks. It isn’t that you don’t want to come, or that you don’t have the time. In fact, you miss your sisters terribly, even though you text daily. It’s just that he doesn’t want you to see them. And, well, maybe he does have a point. Maybe it isn’t healthy to still depend on your sisters that much at your age, especially when it is him you should instead lean on.

And anyway, he always gets so insecure when you spend more time with them instead of him. And then he gets angry, and starts breaking shit, and that’s really a can of worms you don’t want to open. It’s easier that way. You’ve learned to live with it, really. You can tolerate it. And isn’t tolerance what a relationship is really about?

Are you sure you’re alright?

You’ve been flaking on us for a pretty long time now.

I’m really sorry, but my boyfriend’s got other plans tonight.

As soon as you send it, you know you shouldn’t have brought your boyfriend into this. You’ve lived with your sisters for long enough to know when they are raising their guard, and they always seem to do it when you bring up your boyfriend. “It’s because they’re jealous”, is what he says, “Alex doesn’t like me because I’m a man.” And you want to prove him wrong so badly, but still, they do seem to have something against him. And it’s not really helping your position when you bring up the old argument of wanting to go to sister’s night.

Your phone screen lights up with an incoming call from Kara. You curse under your breath before swiping to accept. You hope to make this quick – he doesn’t like it when he checks your phone and finds out you’ve been talking to someone longer than necessary.

“Kara?”

“Hey, (Y/N), Alex is here too, we’ve got you on speaker.” She sounds like she has to force herself to sound casual, but you’ve always managed to see right through her.

“Listen, (Y/N), can we see you sometime soon?”

“I’ve already told you I can’t make it to sister’s night tonight, I’m really sorry, but I just –“

“Not ‘just’. Nothing’s ‘just’!”, Alex interrupts you. There’s a short scuffle, you assume Kara has stepped onto her foot to make her stop talking and messing up the script of the phone call.

“It doesn’t have to be sister’s night. We just want to see you. In person. We really miss you.”

“I miss you, too,”, you manage to admit. But you have no idea how you are going to bring it up to your boyfriend.

“If you make it quick, I can probably see you during my lunch break tomorrow…”, you propose, hesitantly. He’s never gone to your place of work before. But as soon as you say the words, the doubt comes flooding back. Maybe he’s been there, and you haven’t seen him? Maybe he’s in contact with your colleagues, with your superiors, tracking your whereabouts? You shake your head. When have you become so paranoid?

“At Noonan’s?” Kara asks, and there’s a hint of a real smile in her voice.

“Where else?” you answer.

You block their attempts to make small talk – you can talk at Noonan’s after all. No reason to stretch out this call, no reason to rile up your boyfriend.

You wish you could stop looking over your shoulder. You’ve been sitting at Noonan’s with your sisters for not even one minute but you still feel like you’re committing a crime. You’re sure they’ve noticed, but still, you can’t stop yourself.

“So, (Y/N)” Alex starts at the same time as Kara blurts out “this is an intervention!”

You dig your fingernails into the palms of your hands. “And here I thought you guys just wanted to see me.”

They don’t let you change the subject.

“We want to know what’s going on with you and your boyfriend. Because from what we’ve gathered, your relationship doesn’t sound healthy, at all.”

“Kara, you’re being dramatic. We’re just in a rough spot with our relationship right now, but it will get better.” It has to. Because it’s been better before, it was good. This right now is temporary, you know it.

“Will it, (Y/N)? Will it really? Because from our perspective it just looks like he’s controlling when you go out and who you see, and that’s textbook abusive behavior. We can’t just stand by and let that happen.”

You feel your eyes watering, and damn, you didn’t mean to cry now. But there’s a gigantic lump in your throat and you can’t answer, you can’t explain…yes, things might not be as great as they once were between you, but lots of relationships go through difficult phases, you can’t just give up once it starts getting tough! But you can’t explain, you can’t make them see, you can’t…

“Oh, babygirl…”

You used to hate it when Alex called you that. You’re not that much younger than her anyway. But right now, with her moving in to hug you, all you can think of is how long it’s been since you’ve been held like this. You bury your face into Alex’s shoulder to muffle the sobs that threaten to escape. “It’s not like that”, you try to argue, your voice muffled against Alex’s shirt. “I just have to prove that he has no reason to be jealous…”

“No, (Y/N). This is not on you. Don’t let this…big jerk” – you snorted wetly at Kara’s inability to curse – “give you the blame for how he’s treating you. You deserve so much better.”

You can’t hold back the sobs anymore, but you don’t have to. Alex is rubbing your back and Kara is holding your hand, offering you one of her roughly half a dozen sticky buns. The last time she’d offered to share food with her was when you were in the hospital because you had bruised three of your ribs. They’re just here, waiting patiently for you to cry it out. You’ve almost forgotten what it feels like.

“And what do I do now?” you finally ask after there were no more tears left to cry, wiping away the wet trails on your cheeks with a napkin.

“You tell us,” Alex stresses softly. You heave a sigh. You know what you should do, what you’d advise everyone else in your situation to do, but making the decision yourself is terrifying. Still…

“It can’t go on like this”, you murmur. “I’m just…scared.”

You can see your sisters’ mirroring frowns. “(Y/N)”, Kara starts slowly, deliberately, “has he ever hurt you?”

You shake your head, but your shaking, hunched frame clearly spells not yet. “He just gets so angry all the time. And when he’s angry, he keeps breaking stuff – always mine, never his! And I just…I don’t want it to get worse, I guess, if I break up with him I just know it will be so much worse – where would I even stay?”

“With us, dummy!” Kara says, and even though the worry crinkle is still apparent on her face, her smile is so gentle and familiar. It makes you feel like you could cry again.

“I’m a federal agent and Kara is literally Supergirl, I would like to see him try and hurt you when you’re with us. Actually, I almost hope he does try, I really hope he gives me a reason to break his nose…”

You smile at them tentatively.

“I’m so thankful for you guys, I really am…I just don’t know how to actually break up with him, I don’t know how to bring it up without him just blowing up on me.”

“You can do it right now. Right here, you can call him. There’s nothing wrong with breaking up over the phone if breaking up in person would put you in danger. And we’ll be right here with you if you get nervous, kiddo”

Kara moves to hold your hand in hers. “We’ll always be right here with you, no matter what.”

#supergirl imagine #baby danvers #baby danvers imagine #kara danvers imagine #alex danvers imagine #alex danvers #kara danvers #danvers sisters

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harley4l · 4 years

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Chapter 10: Family stands together

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story

Beginning / Previous / Next

A disappointment, as usual, his father had muttered under his breath every so often after Rocco had come home from school bruised and crying because he let his classmates beat him up again. Crybaby, they taunted him with wide sneers and eyes full of with callous glee. Little Mama’s Boy.

I’m not a Mama’s boy!, Rocco always insisted, their laughter swarming in his ears. His mother had wished for a daughter she could groom into a miniature version of herself, not a frail, cowardly son who could barely stand up against his older brothers. From day one, he’d been their punching bag, their prey to test the art of intimidation until they were old enough to inherit their father’s drug empire. When he was too young to properly understand what exactly his father’s legacy was, he’d asked Enzo and Rafael about it. His brothers had exchanged looks and smirked at each other before towering over Rocco. Dad is selling lots of candy, which makes other people happy, Enzo teased, mimicking a baby’s voice. Except if you’re eating to much candy, you’ll die! Rafel added with a chuckle. Better watch out for people giving you candy, it’ll kill you. Bring it to me and Enzo first, we’re testing it for poison. Timid and confused, Rocco had glanced from one brother to the other. But won’t the candy hurt you too? Hearing this, Enzo and Rafael had broken out into resounding laughter and slapped each other’s backs. Don’t worry about us, sissy, Rafael all but yelled. It’s only killing the weak pussies!

Back then Rocco hadn’t yet realized it how unwanted he was, but his family had put in the effort to make it clear over the following years. Dude, what a pantywaist, Rafael had snarled on an evening the three brothers were at home alone and they had watched a slasher movie on TV. Enzo and Rafael giggled when the killer started chasing his victims through the woods and rammed his chainsaw through their torsos, causing their guts to spill out – but Rocco had started to cry. Annoyed with his whining, his brothers had grabbed his arms and legs and dragged him downstairs into the basment, looking the door behind him. Rocco had sobbed and banged his fists against the solid door and begged for them to let him out. We’re only protecting you from the killer, Rocco! Enzo rasped behind the door. He’s coming for yooouuuu! Rocco screamed and screamed until his throat was sore and his knuckles were bruised from banging. Many hours later his parents had come down and unlocked the door, their faces twisting in disapproval at the sight of Rocco’s face which was swollen from crying. When they called Enzo and Rafael out of bed and asked why they’d left their younger brother alone in the basement for hours, Rafael made an innocent face. Because he’s weak, dad! Enzo and I, we were just trying to make a man out of him! Their father had sent the two back to bed without punishment.

With the years the brothers grew older, and with age they grew more hostile. They weren’t resorting to pranks to maltreat Rocco any longer, they just beat him up when he annoyed them and told Rocco he deserved this. Crazy as it was, they almost seemed to view it as a challenge. Fight back, Rafael coerced him after he’d destroyed Rocco’s solar system project for school and kicked him in the side when he scrambled to pick up the shambles. Fight back, FIGHT BACK! But Rocco didn’t know how. He'd always looked pathetic next to Enzo, the smartass brain of their family and Rafael, his father’s fierce and charming golden boy who could do nothing wrong. For the son of an infamous mafioso, Rocco admittedly had no qualities worth mentioning. He’d ― very briefly ― enjoyed painting with watercolor when he was nine or ten years old, but he gave up on the hobby after his siblings discovered his art hidden at the back of his wardrobe and boxed holes through the canvas’. Looks better that way, Enzo said when Rocco found the paintings completely destroyed. Afterwards, Rocco tried out boxing at school, but he was a hopeless case at sports and the trainer critiziced his moves were clumsy and weak.

After his brothers left to attend college, Rocco stopped talking to them for years. They rarely came home to visit and when they did he was basically air to them. Enzo studied history and Rafael economics. Both graduated with honors and soon afterwards Enzo got married to his wife Blaise and had Tessa, Rafael got married to Carol and they had Eleanor, Kara and Miranda. Rocco on the other hand was lucky to even graduate high school, seeing how badly his grades had dropped over the years. His teachers often complained that Rocco was distracted at school and didn’t do his homework, which was true in a way ― he was usually under too much stress to concentrate on homework. With grades as disastrous as his own, college plans were cancelled and he started out infinitely low on the career ladder, working as a tough guy in the criminal career in hopes of supporting his father someday. He’d lost count of how many women he dated up to that point ― since high school his girlfriends they had come and gone. He longed for a stable relationship such as his brothers had, but it seemed no woman could endure Rocco for long. They all insisted it wasn’t his fault that the relationship failed ― then in the same breath had criticized Rocco for shutting out emotions, not being tender, distanced, overall not husband material. It was almost funny after he’d spent all his life trying to be strong and not show his his emotions because in his family’s eyes emoting equalled weakness. He didn’t know how to open his heart anymore.

This november, Rafel had hosted a grand gala dinner at his house ― a celebration for his newly secured business deal with Nicholas Prescott, an influental politican and the richest man in all of Brindleton Bay. After they’d quaffed a considerable amount of liquor, Rafael led Rocco into his office and sorted the family pictures on the shelves, most of them showed little Miranda and the twins when they were younger. Then he’d opened a drawer and pulled out a frame showing a woman Rocco had never seen before. She was heartbreakingly beautiful, her lips a velvet red, her eyes a sparkling turquoise and her hair a curtain of platinum. Rocco was about to ask who she was, but his brother answered the thought before he got the chance to upen up his mouth. This is Patricia Prescott. Isn’t she the most gorgeous gem you’ve seen, little brother? Rocco shifted uncomfortably on his spot by the door frame, but Rafael went on, apparently a lot more drunk than he’d realized earlier. Weird, disjointed talk about how Nicholas was the most gullible fool Rafael had ever met, how empowering it felt to woo Nick’s wife behind his back. How he wished Patricia would go ahead and divorce her husband, so that their family could be complete. Rocco was not about to question what this bullshit meant, but the longer his brother kept on talking the more infuriated Rocco became. Their father’s business ― no, their family legacy ― relied heavily on Rafael’s business deals with Nicholas Prescott. He couldn’t believe his irresponsible brother was risking it all to mess around with Prescott’s wife! Losing Prescott’s financial help could very well push them into ruin. The business hadn’t exactly run smoothly after the old man retired and left Rafael in charge ― who messed up more deals with potential partners than he secured! Rafael simply didn’t have the brains Enzo could have offered, or the strategic talent Rocco had proclaimed for himself as a hacker over these past years.

A few hours after this confusing, aggravating conversation, Rafael seemed to have sobered up enough to realize who he'd been talking to. He approached Rocco, asking him to keep the newly aquired knowledge about his affair with Prescott’s wife to himself. Their father mustn’t know about this. Sure, he and Rocco have had their troubles with each other in the past, but that was long ago ― everything was forgiven and forgotten, right?

Rocco wished he had the courage to reply that nothing was forgiven. Didn’t his brother realize how shitty his behavior had been, how badly he'd messed Rocco up back when he was small and defenseless? No, this time Rocco was in charge ... and he wanted to make Rafael pay. He wanted to punish him a hundred times worse, wanted to make him realize how strong and capable inferior little Rocco had become. They never took him serious until they all came crawling to him and asked for favors. Not so long ago, his niece had asked for his help to scare off some boys from school who followed her around. Nelly ― or was that Kara? He never bothered to try and tell them apart ― was always convinced someone was out to get her, although Rocco long suspected all of Rafael’s kids had some screws loose. But Nelly was by far the worst brat amongst them, the one always strutting around with a smug expression, acting like she was some sort of sovereignty. After Enzo declined his father’s offer to take over the company, Rocco should have been the one to be put in charge ― he had grown up to be far more qualified than both his brothers. Instead his father had chosen Nelly as his heiress, a naive little school girl, who had never contributed to anything. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair and someone had to pay the price for all the ways and years Rocco’s family had wronged him. If that someone needed to be Nelly, then so shall be it. The only thing Rocco knew for certain was that he would not be overlooked, or trampled over ― or underestimated ― ever again.

Next Chapter: Two can keep a secret ...

#ts4 #thesims4 #sims #stories #Sims Stories #storytelling #thesims #gameplay #mystery #a deceptive perfection

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ofcoldguns · 4 years

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Canon Divergences

Youth

Did not go to school with a serial killer.

LoT Season 1 onwards

Len and Sara didn’t have the whole talk about the future like they do in Destiny. The regrets he tells her about are connected with what happened with Mick. There is no “Me and you” thing.

There was no kiss at the Oculus.

He froze the lever down and left with everyone.

When he returned to Central City he decided to stay behind and that the ship wasn’t really for him.

He didn’t leave a bunch of parkas behind on the ship. He had one and that’s the one that he left at STAR Labs and the one that Leo has now.

Len keeps regular contact with the Legends

Len has seen the Legends twice since the end of season 1. Once when they came in to help with Invasion, Barry had asked and he agreed. And the second during the We/stallen wedding.

Also Len has met Kara and Alex because Invasion and he was at the We/stallen wedding.

Speaking of the We/stallen wedding, Len was there.

Okay first off he wouldn’t miss the wedding for anything. If this was a thing where he never died and remained on the Waverider he’d be there with the Legends. If this was a back from the dead thing where he doesn’t go back on the Waverider (or if he’d survived and didn’t stay with the team) he’d still show up. After he’d helped them get the Dominator tech I think Barry and Iris would want him there.

He’d be so done with everything but very enthusiastic about knocking some heads together and icing some nazis.

Len would not know how to react to Leo to be honest. He doesn’t know how to react to this version of himself who’s so open and outwardly caring and honest about who he is. A version of himself that doesn’t flinch away from touch, that shows affection for people, that is soft. He’d be jealous of that and he’d be jealous of his relationship with Ray. He’s never really had a romantic relationship that was anything like that, he’s never had anyone treat him or look at him the way that Ray treats and looks at Leo. He’s never believed that he deserved anything like that so he’s closed himself off to that. Seeing a version of himself that has that hurts.

Also Len would have gone with the group who went over to Earth X. Which I am sure confused the hell out of Ray when they were thrown in with him.

Len knows who Amunet is. The two of them have never met but he’s very aware of what she does from word on the street. He’s not a big fan of her and really doesn’t like the way she operates her business. He avoids working with her at all costs.

Legion of Doom/Doomworld

This only happens in verses where Len dies like in canon. When it does it’s very different.

LoD!Len has an animosity towards the Legends mostly due to a tiny bit of manipulation on Eobard’s part. When he told Len that he died, he implied that there was something they could have done and they just let him die.

The Flash isn’t dead. Eobard would never allow Darhk to let his little assassin squad kill him. Eobard would really want to punish him, leaving him alive while his friends get picked off one by one is so much worse than death. All while thinking he might be next.

Len doesn’t have the control over the police and the city like he does in the show. There is zero challenge in that. He would be so bored within a week.This Len was plucked out of the timeline somewhere between Going Rogue and Rogue Time. He doesn’t know the Flash’s identity.

Len was told by Eobard that he died in the future, that’s why he agreed to work with him, he probably wouldn’t have agreed if he hadn’t. He didn’t give any real details but he implied that the Legends could have done more to save him which sort of makes him a bit resentful of them.

Lisa is not with Len and Mick because he changed the timeline so that she was a figure skater like she had wanted to be before she was dragged into a life of crime with him. He wanted to give her a better life. Her nickname is Golden Glider due to the fact that she’s a gold medal winner.

Len turned on the Legion for Mick instead of turning on Mick and he was the one killed, not Amaya. Eobard still destroyed the Spear so they still had to go back in time to reverse Doomworld.

Flashpoint

In this timeline, Len Snart is a former thief who’s turned his life around and currently works as a security consultant living in Keystone.

He also happens to be the local hero, Citizen Cold.

He’s got his own little team that he works with and occasionally he visits Central City to help out Wally and Iris.

Only the people on his team and Wally and Iris know that he’s Citizen Cold.

Lewis is dead. He was killed during a prison riot. Len didn’t go to the funeral.

#{Why did we become criminals?} (headcanon)#[Anyone can ask any questions that they have]

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may-odaigahara · 5 years

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Fandom: Supergirl

Ship: SuperReignCorp

Summary: Kara surprises even herself as she and Sam flirt relentlessly, much to the chagrin of Lena. Will the three women be able to navigate their increasingly complicated relationships, and will any of them ever just look up what “polyamory” is? Will they all be able to find their happy ending?

This is a no-powers AU

Hey guys, chapter 3 is up! Please leave some comments/kudos!!

Lena finds herself in CatCo, having been invited to speak at one of their all-hands-on-deck biannual staff meetings. Since L-Corp does, in fact, own the entire corporation, she can’t blame them for asking her to give a speech. She feels more than a little out of place, and focuses mostly on the excellent return-on-investment CatCo has been (something that Sam is always going on and on about), and ends with a few quick platitudes about the importance of good journalism and the value of unbiased reporting.

Lena hangs around throughout the entire meeting, since James is going to give a speech as well and that’s always pretty funny, and because there’s a meeting back at L-Corp she’s desperately trying to miss because all of the people in it annoy her. She tries her hardest to slip out and disappear once it’s over, but before she can get to her car who else taps her on the shoulder but her best friend, Kara.

“Lena, hi! That was a great speech.”

“Really? I thought you’d have qualms about my praise of unbiased reporting. I still remember the rant you went on about how there’s no such thing and a ‘lack of bias’ often skews towards the status quo.”

“Well, yes, that’s all definitely true. But it was still great! Sam’s been talking a lot about the ROI stuff, too. Economics and accounting definitely aren’t my thing, but making money is good. Means we can keep fighting the good fight.”

And there it is. A reference to Sam, already. Lena knows she shouldn’t feel this way, and thus pushes these feelings as far down as they can possibly go, but watching her two best friends (best friends she also has or has had crushes on) embark on this relationship together is hard to handle even when she’s at her best, and public speaking always makes her feel a little more fragile.

“You’re such a bleeding heart,” Lena says, attempting something of a playful smile at that. “And your job is safe. Keep it up and we might even buy you guys a second espresso machine for the break room.”

“Oh, I don’t know if that would be a good idea,” Kara says, grinning. “Daisy – she has an office near mine – already goes through, like four cups of coffee a day. A second espresso machine might be genuinely deadly.”

Lena laughs. For obvious reasons, she hasn’t been spending as much time with Kara as she had before she started dating Sam, but even this is enough to make her miss it. Kara is just so delightfully easy to be around, so willing to carry a conversation, so happy to tell even the dumbest of jokes just to make someone laugh.

“Well, I’ll certainly take that under consideration.”

“Hey, so, do you have some time to grab lunch? I feel like I haven’t spent as much time with you lately and we need to hang out. I’ll even let you choose the restaurant.”

Lena certainly doesn’t feel like she needs to hang out with Kara, mostly because she thinks doing so would slowly kill her. At the same time, though, Kara is looking at her with that look in her eyes and she sounds so genuinely apologetic about not carving enough time out of her schedule for Lena, despite the fact that it’s been Lena who hasn’t been making time for her, and there’s no way she’s going to say no at this point.

“Sure, I have some time. I’m taking you to a place that serves only salad, though.”

Kara presses her lips into a tight line but doesn’t complain, and Lena counts that as a victory.

Kara naturally orders what is genuinely the least healthy salad that the restaurant has – a some kind of monstrosity with blue cheese dressing and bacon bits. Lena just shakes her head fondly as Kara begins stuffing lettuce into her mouth while also trying her hardest to continue telling her story about how she and her coworker, Jemma, have discovered the perfect ratio of Lucky Charms to Frosted Mini Wheats to milk in their morning bowls of cereal. It’s silly and dumb and perfectly Kara to start a friendship over appropriate cereal ratios.

It’s then that Lena realizes just how deeply in trouble she is. Because she wants this, she wants this always, to have Kara all to herself to tell her dumb stories from work and take her out to different restaurants around the city, to bask in her bright smile and blue eyes. It’s impossible not to fall for someone like Kara.

But, she could never betray Sam like this. Though it’s becoming increasingly difficult, Lena wraps up her feelings in a tight little box and shoves them off into a dusty corner of her mind. She thought that things would be easier now, having tried so furiously to stamp out whatever emotions she had the night of the gala, but everything seems to have gotten worse.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” Kara asks, voice full of concern. “You seem a little off today.”

“It’s nothing,” Lena says, smiling. “Nothing. Just work.”

Lena swears that Kara can see right through her, see right down to her hidden feelings and buried insecurities and darkest secrets. Those blue eyes are so open and earnest that Lena genuinely considers simply giving all her secrets away, but there’s no way that she could. Doing so would result in ruining not one but two friendships, and Lena is low on those to begin with.

“Okay,” Kara says, plainly not believing her but also kind enough to not press the issue. She rests her hand atop Lena’s, who nearly begins hyperventilating at that casual contact. “Don’t work yourself too hard, alright? You deserve to take a break, just like anyone else.”

Lena laments Kara’s natural, earnest kindness – it is a torture too much for her. “Thank you, Kara. You’re very sweet.”

“Well, you are my best friend and all,” Kara says. “I’d get awfully lonely if you work yourself to death.”

Lena feels as if her heart stops.

Lena knocks on the door to Sam’s apartment and Ruby quickly opens it up for her, a bright smile on her face.

“Auntie Lena! You’re here!”

“I’m here, Rubes,” Lena says, drawing Ruby into a quick side-hug. “Where’s your mom?”

“Mom is here,” Sam says, poking her head out from her bedroom. “Sorry, I had to decide on which t-shirt I didn’t mind getting glue on.

Lena lets her gaze travel up and down Sam’s figure – she’s just dressed in an old band tee and a pair of slim-fitting joggers, and yet she’s still so beautiful that Lena finds herself chewing on her lower lip just to have an outlet for the desire that coils up in her gut. It’s really not fair, Lena figures, that she happens to have a crush on both of her best friends.

“How do you look good dressed like this? It’s very frustrating,” Lena asks, feigning annoyance.

“Because I’m tall and hot, Lena. And you’re one to talk, given that you always look like that.”

Lena feels Sam’s gaze roam over her body as well, and she certainly couldn’t say that the attention isn’t welcome.

Ruby crinkles her nose. “You guys are weird.”

“Hey, kiddo, when you’re our age you’ll accept any compliment you can get.”

“I’m twenty-four,” Lena says flatly.

“I know! Compared to Rubes you practically have one foot in the grave.”

Lena glares at Sam, who just grins cheekily back at her. “Can we just start this project?”

“Fine, nerd, let’s do it. Ruby, could you please take the floor and explain to Auntie Lena why we’ve gathered here today?”

“We’re making a 3D model of an organelle for AP Biology! Mine is the endoplasmic reticulum.”

“Good job choosing such an easy one to do, Rubes,” Lena says, teasing her fondly.

As Lena had assumed, this little arts and crafts project quickly descends into chaos. Ruby is struggling to properly glue the pieces of felt together in the right way to emulate the folds of the organelle, Sam is having a harder time than she’d like to admit sewing on the beads that are supposed to represent ribosomes, and even Lena herself has already cut two pieces of felt in the wrong shape.

At one point, Sam groans out loud, grabs a bottle of glue, and begins attaching beads to the back of Lena’s shirt. Ruby giggles as Lena dramatically gasps.

“Sam, what are you doing?”

“I’m sorry, but this project is dumb and annoying.”

“So you’re also going to be dumb and annoying?”

Sam just grins at her as Ruby giggles. Lena, her face a mask of faux fury, grabs a sizable piece of felt and begins pouring glue all over it.

“Lena, don’t you dare,” Sam says, backing up.

“Oh, Lena dares, Sam.”

Lena advances on Sam, who dodges out of the way into the living room. Lena dances to and fro before lunging at her, who trips over her own feet and falls backwards onto the couch. Somehow, Lena manages to get tangled up in her flailing limbs and also loses her balance, ending up falling forward onto Sam. The piece of felt slaps against the wall and slowly slides downwards, its glue-soaked weight working against it.

Lena is laughing so hard and feeling so genuinely joyful in a way she hasn’t in weeks that she doesn’t realize that her body is pressing against Sam’s, the heat radiating from her body and settling somewhere deep in her gut. Her laughter fades in her throat but her smile doesn’t and Sam is looking back at her with an expression that mirrors her own. She doesn’t know what it means and it makes her insides feel like twin coiled snakes of guilt and desire.

“You gonna get off, Luthor?”

The way Sam’s voice wraps around the syllables of her last name is positively sinful and that’s enough for Lena to practically leap off of her.

“Sorry,” Lena says, smoothing down the now wrinkled front of her shirt. “I think I got glue on your wall.”

Sam cranes her neck to see the piece of felt sadly peeling off the wall and laughs.

“Yeah, you did. I’ll take it out of your salary.”

Lena just snorts and looks off to see Ruby staring at her, an unreadable expression on her face.

They all redouble their efforts and finish the endoplasmic reticulum, and Lena politely but firmly refuses Sam’s offer to stay for dinner and heads straight back to her penthouse, where she makes a beeline for her bed and lies there as the colors of the sunset bleed into her room.

Lena wakes up blearily the next morning and the lines of her bedroom seem entirely foreign to her. It takes her a while to realize that she fell asleep in her clothes last night when it was barely eight. She props herself up on her elbows. The light of the early sunrise slips in through her curtains, opened just a hair, and she stares at the way that strip of light illuminates her white sheets for a long moment.

Lena thought she was in love with Sam back when they were in college together. They would make one another laugh like nobody else could, they shared secret glances and smiles and, once, after Sam had put little Ruby to bed, they kissed in the dim light of Sam’s crappy apartment living room. In all of her life up to that point, Lena had never felt anything like she felt with Sam.

Lex was arrested on charges of insider trading a month later, which Lena has always found incredibly, tragically hilarious. They hated him because he was fixing the game, so to speak, but not because he had been funneling money to domestic right wing, white supremacist groups for years. So, after that, Lena decided that she couldn’t let herself get close to anyone ever again.

(Sam had been perhaps too understanding and let this all happen. She was even nice enough to accept the position of CFO and pretend like nothing had ever happened between them).

Lena didn’t let herself get close to anyone ever again, not until Kara came around. And, really, she’s the reason Lena’s in this mess. (Lena’s feelings are the reason she’s in this mess, really, but when is that not the case?) She had thought her feelings for Sam had faded around the time she started falling for Kara. She thought wrong.

Lena finally extricates herself from her bed and walks into her kitchen, soaked in the morning light, and hopes that settling into her routine will quiet her treacherous feelings.

“Hey, what the hell is up with you?”

Lena regards Alex for a moment and snorts. Leave it to her to be blunt.

“Nothing is up with me.”

Lena tries to hide her pounding heart behind a veil of feigned annoyance, but with the way Alex is looking at her right now it’s like she knows, knows far too much about how she’s feeling.

“Something is always up with you, but especially in these last few months. You’ve been even quieter than you normally are. I mean, we’re at your favorite bar and you’re over here nursing a whiskey by yourself instead of kicking everyone’s ass at pool.”

Lena glances over at the pool table and spends just a little too long looking at the way Sam and Kara laugh over a particularly bad shot by Winn. Alex observes her and narrows her eyes.

“Is this about Sam and Kara?”

Lena begins to panic and it takes all of her experience as a CEO to keep her face an unreadable mask and still her body.

“Do you not approve?” Alex goes on to ask, an edge to her voice, but Lena is relieved that she hasn’t quite guessed her secret. Not yet.

“Of course I approve, not that it matters. Look how happy they are together.”

Lena realizes she must’ve said that too glumly, because Alex’s gaze is now painfully soft and she’s rubbing Lena’s back.

“Hey, don’t worry, Lena. You’ll find someone. You know, if I wasn’t married to the greatest woman on Earth, I’d take you out on a date.”

Lena raises an eyebrow at that. “Oh, you would, would you?”

“Yeah, you know you’re pretty hot, right?” Alex says, leaning against the bar. “You’re a little rich for my blood, though.”

“You’re an orthopedic surgeon,” Lena says flatly.

“And yet, you make as much in a month as I do in a year.”

Lena just stares at her, though it only takes a moment until Alex is laughing. Lena can’t help but join in, and suddenly, she feels at least a little better than she did before. Alex draws her into a warm side-hug and, as Lena rests her head against her shoulder, she completely understand why Kara loves her sister so much.

“Hey, friends!” Kara greets, bouncing on her heels. “Are we ready to get started?”

Alex takes one look at her and pulls the brim of her cap until it’s covering her eyes. Kara sputters and readjusts it, looking terribly offended as everyone laughs.

“Jock Kara has returned,” Alex says. “Everybody watch out.”

“I’m not a jock!” Kara protests.

The group is silent.

“Okay, who thinks I’m a jock?” Kara asks.

“It’s so obvious,” Alex is quick to say. “You did basically every single sport you possibly could in college and in high school. Total jock.”

“You also spend way more time in the gym than anyone I know,” James says. “I can see it.”

“Yeah, but Kara also loves art. I remember when we visited National City’s museum of modern art – I don’t think anyone could’ve gotten her to stop rambling,” Lena says fondly, a thrill going through her just from being able to say that she has this memory of Kara that’s shared just between the two of them. “So, she’s an art ho.”

“An ‘art ho?’” Winn asks. “C’mon, Lena, that’s not even on the Nerd-Jock, Goth-Prep axes. And, besides, Kara is a total nerd, just like me.”

Everyone stares at him.

“Okay, fine, not just like me. But, Kara does have all of the nerd credentials – multiple degrees, a deep love of science, an ability to recall minutia about the pop culture she consumes…”

“At least I don’t play Magic,” Kara says, grinning at him.

“Hey, Magic is cool! It’s a lot of strategy and high-level thinking!”

“Right, totally,” Sam says, patting Winn’s shoulder. “You are right, though, Kara is a total nerd. She was at my apartment the other day and she spent half the time helping Ruby with her chemistry homework. Voluntarily.”

“Chemistry is fun!” Kara says. “I mean, they’re just getting into, like, stoichiometry, which is pretty basic but still very important!”

Alex groans. “Oh god, you are a nerd.”

“You’re the one with the biochemistry degree,” Kara fires back.

“Yeah, but I’m also super cool. Orthopedic surgeons are the jocks of the medical world,” Alex says, before turning to Maggie. “Right, babe?”

“Uh huh, you absolutely are, babe,” Maggie says, a playful grin on her face. “Very cool. Super, super cool.”

“Ugh, traitor.”

“Can we please just start this hike?” Lena groans.

Lena knew she would be in trouble. She knows what both Sam and Kara look like in athletic clothing, but to have them both here in front of her, a light sheen of perspiration on their skin as they conquer this hike with ease as they laugh and flirt, is just too much for her. They both had the audacity to wear perfectly form-fitting workout shorts and tight tank tops and Lena finds it nearly impossible to look away. Kara’s biceps alone draw her gaze back in about a half-dozen times.

“Luthor!”

She turns around to see Alex marching up towards her with ease, like the crushing incline of their path doesn’t even register to her. It’s incredible unfair that both of the Danvers sisters are in absurd shape.

“Danvers. What’s up?” Lena asks, trying to make it sound like she’s not terribly out of breath already.

“So, I was thinking about that conversation we had the other day, at the bar.”

Lena is surprised. That had been over a week ago, and Alex is still caught up on it?

“There’s woman who works in the admin department at my hospital,” Alex continues. “I think you’d really like her. She’s smart, funny, and attractive in a sort of ‘reformed punk/goth’ sort of way, which I can only assume you’d be into.”

“I never should’ve shown you those high school pictures,” Lena grumbles.

“Anyway, she’s single and aggressively bisexual – you would not believe how many bi pride flags, pins, and stickers she has around her desk – so if you want me to set you two up, I absolutely can.”

As Lena mulls the offer over in her mind, she can’t help but steal another glance at Sam and Kara. They’re walking side-by-side, their shoulders brushing even though the trail is wide enough to accommodate them both, and Sam is smiling in that way she only ever does around Kara and…

“Yeah, that would be great,” Lena says, managing a smile. “What’s her name?”

Chloe! You guys will hit it off, I promise,” Alex says, rambling off about her, and Lena hopes this is what she needs. A worthwhile distraction.

Lena gets Chloe’s number and invites her to a casual yet highly-regarded French fusion restaurant downtown. It’s fun, in its own way, to go through the rituals of going on a date, something she hasn’t done in a very long time. She agonizes over her outfit, she does her makeup and hair to perfection, and she even revels in the way her heart speeds up with nerves as she’s waiting for her date to show up.

Chloe is exactly as advertised. She’s incredibly smart, funny in a surprisingly and refreshingly sharp and biting way, and easy to talk to. Not only that, but she’s stunning, with warm, kind eyes, a strong jawline, and, as Alex had alluded to, the underside of her hair is dyed a hypnotic blend of blue and purple in a sort of concession to the days when he hair was entirely dyed in those shades. Lena genuinely can’t remember the last time she had a first date that went this well. Even her first date with Jack was awkward and uncomfortable at times.

Chloe isn’t Kara, though, and she’s not Sam.

And therein lies the problem.

#superreigncorp #supergirl #superreign #supercorp #fanfiction #personal writing

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yeetdam · 5 years

Note

Could you ship your mutuals with silverboys/treasure 13? I’m curious 🙀

smh i accidentally closed the tab before i could save it fml but anyway: instead of studying maths and after killing my body with a 45 min workout, i am here to answer this ask that was long overdue thank you anon for being so curious uwu!! also i apologize i might’ve got carried away skjdl and this is not proofread in any shape or form

@yoonbins x yoonbin is the couple that tries to keep it low but everyone knows that they’re a thing imo 💖 mini god kara i’m not trying to call you out but yoonbin would gladly accept that s***** from you anytime úwù skinship in public isn’t really their thing, but if bin is feeling bold, he’d secretly hold her hand under the desk klasjdklajs kara isn’t one to show her emotions a lot but it’s fine bc yoonbin is an attentive guy and just knows how smitten he is for her!!! not really the most romantic couple out there, but when it comes to banter? OOF nobody can beat them what a pure relationship (also, expect long cuddle sessions when it’s just the two of them teehee)

@byounggonsgf x byounggon is the power couple everyone on ygtb tumblr and their MUMS know of and approve of: first of all, visual wise?? GOD TIER. SUPERIOR. YOU WISH. we all know how much of a visual kweenie angel zeen is, and we all know how hot gon is (pls the entire fandom has a crush on him) and the two combined?? YOUR FAVS COULD NEVER (unless your favs are zeen and gon uwu) also, just one glance at zeen’s tags just show how much love she harbors for him and i imagine her to be the type to write stuff abt him in a seperate notebook and when gon finds out, he’ll go all out and arrange some romantic candlelight dinner or shit 💖 in other words, they’re the disgustingly sweet couple you’d see in romance anime uwu

@ggoncafe x byounggon is also a ship i advocate !!! he’d do anything to make ess smile and laugh; it’s one of his fav sights after all - especially that thing that ess does where she scrunches her nose whenever she laughs??? he is SOLD. WHIPPED. IN AWE. i feel like gon can be quite the romantic in his way and would write so many songs abt ess lskjdlkj aside of that, ess strikes me as the type to annoy the shit out of him just for fun LMAO - it’s nothing bad, imagine this: she’d text him in capslock and keyboard smashes just to garner his attention and then, he’d face time her and try to be fed up but in reality? he’s glad she did that? bc that gives him the perfect excuse to see her lkjsdj

say what you want; okay cool you think the earth is flat fine then but not thinking that @mashilove x byounggon is a cute ship? sis you’re abt to cATcH ThESe HaNDs - uyen radiates something akin to big mom energy: maybe it’s partly bc she’s just as old as gon but her tags to everyone just SCREAM soft protective nature 💖 also i feel like uyen, as great as she is, sometimes deals with huge insecurity issues and gon would try his best to lift up her spirits and convince her that she is a beautiful child of the angels the world doesn’t even deserve!!! we are talking abt gon dedicating 28398309 songs to her and cuddle attacks and soft shit oof

looking back i realize byounggon also has a mf power harem and to finish it off, i also think that @speckofglitter x byounggon is the couple you should be scared of. why scared? bc they’re gonna make you set your standards so impossibly high AND THATS THE TEA 💖 gon picking up tiyi after her lectures at university? every time when he can afford to? which is pretty much every second day? and if he has much free time before he’d make sure to buy some food for tiyi? it doesn’t help that he’s a soundcloud rapper of course everyone’s gonna have high standards! it doesn’t stop there tho; just imagine them trying some couple dances like ellen and Brian hnnngh

@junkyeu x junkyu is ! so ! pure !!!! junkyu would be so so smitten and so so proud of Linh and he’d take any opportunity to boast abt her. she’s so beautiful? he’d say that to every second stranger they pass by. she’s a multilingual queen? he’d tweet it out several times a day, post it on his snapchat, probably write it on a wall “LINH IS A MULTILINGUAL LEGEND YOUR S/O COULD NEVER 💖“ and so on. he is so damn supportive up to the point where it might be a little excessive to her but she still loves him dearly :’) the harshest thing she might do is prolly insult him lightly in any language he doesn’t understand LMAOOO

1/3 of the seunghun harem ship i support is @kimseunghoney x seunghun ! yet another couple that would flaunt that they’re together but guess what?? everyone is LIVING for it 💖 christina is such a soft fluffball who’s trying her best to get through her exams and seunghun being the supportive (yet needy) boyfriend he is, would partly distract her partly help her?? he’d be the type to randomly come over to her place with the reason of wanting to help her study bc ! good ! grades ! is ! what ! she ! wants ! but then five minutes later, he’d try to get her to take a break and then woo her to a nap bc she’s been working so hard uwu (also, the perfect timing for him to fill up his camera roll full of pics of christina saljdlk)

2/3 of the seunghun harem is @seunghunies x seunghun 💖 now with those two combined,,,, get ready for the skinship and disgustingly domestic and tooth rotten fluff between them uGh [edit: the latter got deleted WHY TUMBLR WHY SMH so starting here is the cont.] seunghun is the type to show off that vale is his up to the point where he might shove it up everyone and their mum's faces jskdk but it's full of love!!! Snapchat? Instagram? Everywhere — he's gonna say how much he loves vale during an ig live or in his story dedicated to vale and vale ONLY 💞🤧 also!!! Restaurant dates!!!! So many!!!! They'd go taste testing in the entire city !!!! And he'd take so many pics of her and the best thing abt the cute shit? Vale plays along!! (At least most of the time teehee) say he'd want her to pose for the camera? She'd gladly do it- unless she's feeling a little sneaky then she'd do anything to mess up the snapshot kajdjdjkdk we love banter 😜💓

3/3 of the harem is @seunghunn x seunghun uwu THE. SOFTEST. COUPLE. IN THE UNIVERSE. mashikyu doesn’t compare anyway, we’ve already established how much of a passionate lover hun is right?? and i peg seunghun the type to crave his s/o’s attention at any time possible so if you ever lay his eyes off him, he’d do anything to win your attention back! perhaps one might say that maddi cherishes her sleep more than our #1 furry king and if she’s particularly stressed, she’s heading straight to her bed and to the one-hour nap she desperately needs. depending on how hun is feeling, he might either a) play the big spoon and nap with her sdjlkjsa or b) be the whiny bitch he is and try to wake her up (ofc only if he’s 100% sure that she wouldnt mind as much as usual) 💖 in case he guessed wrong and woke her up while she’s pissed, he’d make up with some good homecooked food UGH

@moonxlika x hyunsuk is the badass couple who always hype one another up you don’t even KNOW. be it a competition or a game, you can bet that one is cheering for the other - unless they both participate, then it’d be a mixture of “good luck uwu” or “i’m gonna beat your ass just watch me” 💖 they’re the type to bond over their music taste and seriously lika and hyunsuk aren’t afraid to show that they’re a thing it’s so cute kljfl you know that some ppl get embarrassed when their s/o suddenly does a hoe drop or dresses really hot like with chokers or shit? then there are some ppl who get pissed / jealous / idk at least not embarrassed and shy when their s/o does that? neither of them fall into any of those types. say hyunsuk is suddenly out there with a choker and what do i know a mesh shirt? lika strikes me as someone who’d go yES BITCH THAT HOT DUDE RIGHT THERE IS MY BOYFRIEND SEE HIM and say lika pops of on the dance floor, hyunsuk would be like mY GIRLFRIEND HAS SOME MOVES Y’ALL

whereas lika x suk could be classified as one of the more hard couples on the spectrum, @hyunsukmyass x hyunsuk is the epitome of bubblegum and sugar and (perhaps little) spice (at least that’s what everyone thinks but sshhh) 💖 i feel like in public suk would try hard to have the image of being sim’s edgy boyfriend but little does he know that sim dishes out the truth to all of her friends HDSJKHSKJ like that one time suk admitted his wallet was suffering due to the bouquet of flowers he bought her when sim was feeling low? or the time where he put his pride and sanity aside and took care of her when she was sick even tho it was a given that he’d get infected too? everyone knows and whereas suk is HIGHkey embarrassed to a certain extent, he’d try to find something he can tease sim with!! and then… he finds it... cute shit sim writes abt suk…. or even worse… her fanfics abt celebrity xy and suk has a LOT of fun teasing her with it ksajdkljkl he’d never say anything negative but once in a while he’d go like “so,,, sim,,,, wanna recreate that one scene you wrote in fanfic xy?” or even “hey what do you think if i were a rocker but also super super good at school?” gET READY FOR THE BANTER AND LAUGHTER AND TICKLE FIGHTS THAT FOLLOW SUIT

#i had too much fun i apologize #tag! i'm it #here's to my lovely mewts #i tell you my beautiful moots #your bias would gladly get chased by a horde of lions for you 💖#also thank you anon for being curious saljlk

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s-nebul0sa · 5 years

Text

You’re going home

Read on AO3

Lena is not having her day. She went to bed with a headache last night, woke up with an even worse one and can’t seem to stop shivering. She’s checked her thermostat and it should be a decent temperature in her office but she still feels cold. Cold sweat clings to her skin and her abdomen feels like a demon is trying to claw its way out of her.

Maybe she should’ve stayed home. Although her headache this morning wasn’t a sure indication she would feel so much worse now. She’s worked with headaches before and ended up feeling no different at the end of the day, sometimes even better. The wait for the painkiller she took earlier to kick in seems eternal. By now, it probably is; the drug too weak to fight her pain.

Her limbs protest every time she moves, like she’s dragging them through a thick liquid instead of air. The stack of paper she moves feels heavier than it should and she feels like she’s just done an extreme workout. She hasn’t. Hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in a long while if she’s being honest. Maybe she should change that, another time. When she doesn’t feel like she just got hit by a truck.

With a deep sigh she lifts a new file from the stack and starts flipping through it, scanning the paperwork inside before putting it down and starting on page one. Red pen at the ready to scribble her comments in the margins.

She needs to close her eyes for a moment to swallow away the pain and make the world stop dancing. A few blinks make the floor be down again and the ceiling up. Most of the time. If she didn’t have an important meeting in an hour, she might seriously have considered leaving. But alas, she does have that meeting and she really cannot miss it. With a heavy sigh she gets back to work.

Every so often she has to stop and close her eyes, pressing her palms flat on the desk or the arm rests of her chair to get a sense of what’s up and what’s down again. She contemplates taking another painkiller. She hasn’t taken the maximum dosage yet and maybe it will make her feel better. Most likely, it won’t help anyway and she just needs to wait it out. That used to be the case, at least.

She gets up to get herself some water but she’s barely filled her glass when another dizzy spell overcomes. She should have known. It always happens when she gets up. But that’s too late a realisation now. Black and white spots invade her vision and she barely manages to sink down against the wall to prevent herself from collapsing onto her office floor.

Her vision blinks black for a moment. Maybe longer than just a moment. Lena can’t tell. The world slowly stops tilting on its axis and the black and white spots disappear. Carefully, she starts to get up, making sure not to do it too fast to prevent everything from going black again. She makes it to her desk chair and quickly sinks down on it. The world is tilting a little again.

Her stomach hurts.

She pulls her knees up in hopes of relieving the painful cramps. It doesn’t help. It does, however, help against her dizziness. She’ll take any win she can get today. On a deep breath she lets her head fall forward, forehead resting on her knees and eyes pressed closed tightly. She’s barely had a second to get her bearings back, when the intercom crackles to life and Jess’s voice comes sounding through.

“Miss Luthor, Miss Dan-”

Lena’s head shoots up and she kicks her legs out, sitting straight-backed at her desk. Kara can’t see her like this. She’d only worry. It’s not a second too soon because before Jess has finished her sentence, Kara comes barging in already.

“-vers is here to see you,” Jess finishes.

“Hey Kara,” Lena greets, debating whether to get up and give Kara a kiss, risking giving herself away by getting another dizzy spell, or staying put and seeming distant and closed off. She settles on the latter, it’s the option that would worry Kara least. She knows Lena has an important meeting today and will probably attribute it to that.

“Hi!” Kara quickly rounds her desk and leans in to get a kiss, not seeming put off by Lena not immediately offering one to her herself. It’s short and sweet and Lena really wishes she could lose herself in it. She can’t though. Her body won’t let her. Plus, she has a meeting to prepare and paperwork to read.

“What brings you here?” Lena asks, trying to keep her mask perfect.

“You said you had a headache this morning so I thought I’d cheer you up with some big belly burger.” Kara lifts a paper bag with the fast food company’s logo on it.

Lena tries to mirror Kara’s bright smile but she can just feel it falling flat and the frown Kara’s face slowly morphs into confirms it.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, just a long day is all,” Lena deflects as she tries to put herself together again. It’s futile. She can already feel the blood leave her head and her cramps intensify.

“Really? You look a little pale.”

“I ampale, Kara,” Lena quips weakly, internally fighting her stomach as it tries to twist itself upside down.

“You look pale even for you.”

“I’m fine, honey.” The words have barely left her mouth when she loses the fight with her stomach and is forced to rush into her en-suite bathroom. Her meagre breakfast leaves her body and Kara is by her side in an instance, swiping her ponytail to her back so it won’t get caught in the crossfire.

Miserably, Lena rests her head on her forearm as she tries to catch her breath and spit out the foul taste lingering in her mouth. Kara, ever the angel, flushes the toilet when Lena lifts her head away from it and presses a glass of cool water in her hand.

“You’re sick,” she says, sounding a tad disappointed. It breaks Lena’s heart a little. Kara shouldn’t see her like this. Kara shouldn’t worry about her over this. She’s fine. She’ll be fine.

“I’m not sick,” she protests, her voice hoarse and the waving water in the glass in her hand betraying her shakiness. She doesn’t add to it that she probably threw up because she’s in pain. That would do nothing to placate Kara’s concern.

“You just threw up.” Kara punctuates her statement by sitting down behind Lena and brushing the clammy hairs from her neck, softly blowing cold air against her sweaty hot skin.

“I’m not sick,” Lena repeats. “I’m just on my period. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine, Lena,” Kara says, seeming offended by Lena’s words even though she shouldn’t have a reason to. “I don’t care if you’re sicksick or sick like this, you’re not feeling well all the same and you should not be working.”

“I have an important meeting.”

“You have other people who can go in your place. You don’t have to do everything alone. And if you really have to attend, Jess can just reschedule.” Kara pulls Lena slightly back so she’s leaning against her and rubs soothingly over her arms.

Lena lets her head rest against Kara’s shoulder, revelling in the embrace even though it doesn’t really do anything to make her feel better. “I know but it’s an important meeting and I don’t want to reschedule over something stupid like this.”

“It’s not stupid. I’ll talk to Jess and you grab your stuff. You’re going home.”

“No! Kara, I’m fine. I can work just fine.” She’s Lena Luthor. She’s not going to let a stupid period get the better of her. She’ll just power through and hope for the best. Maybe take some more painkillers. Anything. But she’s not going to lose to her own body like this.

“Lena, please-”

“No!” Lena bites back angrily, leaning away from Kara to better face her. “I’m an adult and I don’t need you babying over me. If I want to work, I’m allowed to do that. I’m my own person. You don’t even understand. You don’t understand pain because you only feel pain when you had a bad fight so your body isn’t used to it, Kara. I can deal with it, okay. I’m going to work.”

“Fine.” Kara throws up her hands and stands up, looking hurt. Lena immediately regrets her outburst. She didn’t mean to be so mean and hurt Kara. Being in pain just makes her say stupid things but she knows it’s a terrible excuse. She’s just being rude because she’s a horrible person. She never deserved Kara in the first place and now she’s pushing her away by being angry at her for something she can’t help. Lena really is the worst girlfriend ever and she doesn’t understand why Kara puts up with her.

“I’m sorry. Kara, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean- I shouldn’t have said that.” Of course, her hormones jump in too and make her end up a crying mess, sitting on the floor of her bathroom and begging her girlfriend not to leave forever. She’s a complete mess. Tears rolling from her eyes, lipstick smudged and mascara running. “Please, please don’t leave me forever.”

“Lena, no! I’m not leaving forever.” Kara sits back down next to her and takes one of Lena’s hands in her own. “One argument is not going to make me want to break up with you.”

“We’ve already had one argument before,” Lena sniffles.

“And we got out better, didn’t we?”

Lena nods reluctantly. They did get out stronger and closer after each previous argument and disagreement. It helped them understand each other better and realise their own mistakes.

“Arguments like this aren’t going to end our relationship. Yes, you said something that hurt me but you also apologised and I will get over it. I amhurt a little now but I know you didn’t mean it like that and you’re probably not feeling yourself so you lashed out and tried to push me away.” Kara quirks an eyebrow to ask Lena if she’s right.

Lena nods again. Still, she doesn’t feel like she deserves her. She casts her eyes down and sips the water Kara gave her before straightening her skirt and wiping away the worst of her smeared makeup.

“Now, do you insist on working?” Kara asks her as she takes the empty glass and puts it on the sink.

“Please,” Lena answers, voice soft and not entirely sure; still remorseful about her outburst. “I don’t trust my new CFO to handle this alone. It’s important.”

“He’ll have to learn to do things alone, you know. And you did say he was the best candidate.”

“I know. He’ll just have to learn in another meeting.”

“Okay, control freak,” Kara jokes. “But if you’re staying, at least eat something.”

Lena pouts slightly at Kara’s tease. “I’m not hungry.”

“I won’t leave until you’ve eaten something. Anything. I will get it for you and I won’t judge you. Promise.”

Lena thinks for a moment, contemplating her options. She’s not hungry but if she has to eat something, she knows just what she wouldn’t hate. “Frozen yoghurt.”

“Plain? With fruit?”

“With strawberries and chocolate sprinkles please.”

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

In a blur just shy of inhuman speed, Kara leaves the bathroom and Lena’s office. Lena takes the time alone to slowly get up and fix her makeup and hair in the mirror.

Luck isn’t on her side today. On her way to her desk, she gets another extremely bad cramp. It doesn’t even feel like a cramp so maybe it’s not. She just feels really bad, hot and cold at the same time. Clammy and she just knows if she doesn’t get to the ground soon, she’ll end up falling to it.

She lets gravity help her distinguish down from up and lies flat on the floor, waiting for everything to stop spinning and appear from behind the black spots again. She really feels terrible and she knows she’s crying silent tears. Squeezing her eyes shut only forces them out faster.

Her office door opens again and she can’t muster up the energy to jump to her feet. Not that it would have been a good idea anyway; she’d probably be back on the floor faster than she’d gotten up.

“Lena?” Something hits the floor and quick footsteps approach her. She doesn’t open her eyes, afraid of seeing how the world twists and spins in front of her eyes. “Are you okay? What happened?”

It’s Kara. She can’t worry Kara. “I’m okay. Just a little dizzy,” she says without opening her eyes. Kara’s hand gently cups her cheek, thumb brushing her skin softly.

“Are you sure you want to work? You look like you’re really in pain and you can’t go to a meeting lying on the floor.”

“I- maybe you’re right.” She’s still crying. She can feel Kara brush away her tears.

“Is it okay if I pick you up?”

“Just-” Lena reaches out to hold Kara’s arm, pressing her warm hand closer to her face- “just a second. Just so the worst is over.”

“Okay,” Kara says softly, placing her free hand on Lena’s other cheek and a kiss on her forehead. “Have you had this before? I’ve never seen you this bad on your period.”

“Mhm. When I was a teen, a few times. Then I was sick of it and got on the pill.”

“So, do you know why it’s like this again?”

“Probably because I quit the pill.”

“You did? When? Why?”

“Before we got together. Like, eight, maybe ten months ago.”

“Why?” Kara repeats, clearly out of concern and not nosiness.

“Because I figured I shouldn’t need hormones to function. And I’d been on it so long I thought it would probably have passed. There are so many stories of people who quit and don’t get as bad cramps or other stuff as before so I just wanted to try it. It’s not like you can get me pregnant.” Lena pries her eyes open to a slight squint. “You can’t get me pregnant, right? I never asked.”

“No, I can’t, silly. I would’ve told you if I could.” Kara’s fond smile sounds through in her voice and Lena automatically smiles a little too.

“Good.”

“Are you feeling a little better?”

“A little.” At least the world looks like it should and she doesn’t feel like she’s both overheating and freezing.

“Ready to go home then?” Kara asks, already moving her arms to lift Lena.

“Yes, but I want to walk myself, please. At least out of the building.” Even though she knows they’ll probably only pass Jess on their way out, and her driver, she still wants to seem strong and not show any weaknesses. It’s a little ridiculous because Jess probably knows more about her than anyone else, except for Kara. Her driver has definitely driven her home after plenty a night she’s drunk a lot more than she should have and seen her in her low moments too.

“Okay,” Kara agrees with a small sigh. She undoubtedly doesn’t want to fight Lena anymore. “Stay put.”

Lena doesn’t exactly listen, cautiously getting up to a seated position and watching Kara collect her belongings. With Kara’s help, she gets up completely. Kara presses her close to her side and wraps an arm around her. Lena is glad for the warm comfort. She knows she’ll probably not get as dizzy as she did minutes ago but she’s still feeling like a truck is running her over constantly.

They exit Lena’s office and Lena tells Jess to clear her schedule. Jess immediately starts her newly assigned task but the worried look on her face tells Lena she probably looks almost as bad as she feels. Going home really does seem like the best decision.

Her driver opens the car door for them and Lena and Kara slide in.

Now that she’s admitted to feeling bad, she actually feels it even more. Either that or she’s just more aware of it and less focussed on hiding her uncomfortableness. So, instead of sitting down in the backseat, she gives in to the urge to lie down. She wraps her arms around her stomach and Kara nudges her to put her head on her lap.

“Do you want to go to your place or mine?” Kara quietly asks her, combing her fingers through Lena’s hair.

Lena shrugs. She’s not really capable of thinking about anything right now, let alone make decisions.

“Is there anything specific that would make you feel better?”

“A bath,” Lena mumbles, pressing her face into Kara’s legs so her girlfriend doesn’t catch her crying again. Kara’s so sweet and soothing and Lena doesn’t deserve it. It’s probably the agony talking but she can’t help feel that way right now.

“Okay, that’s good. That’s something we can do.” Kara lifts her head to talk to the driver, who’s just about to exit L-Corp’s garage. “Madison, take us to Lena’s place please.”

“Of course, Miss Danvers,” the driver replies kindly before making a turn left towards Lena’s apartment.

It’s the middle of the day so traffic is low and it doesn’t take them too long to arrive at Lena’s apartment building. Madison drives the car into the garage beneath the building and opens the door on Kara’s side for them to exit.

“Babe, we’re here,” Kara says softly, brushing some of Lena’s hair out of her face.

Lena mumbles a soft acknowledgment before lifting her head off Kara’s lap so she can exit the car. With great effort she sits up so she can follow Kara out of the car. Now that she’s nearly home, she doesn’t understand what drove her to go to L-Corp in the first place today. Let alone how she managed to survive the morning.

Kara’s hand reaches through the open door to help her out and Lena gratefully takes it. Standing up is an even greater effort than sitting up was and she closes her eyes for a moment to recover. Immediately, arms wrap around her a little tighter in support.

“You’re getting really pale again, Lena. Is it okay if I carry you?” Kara asks. Lena wants to decline. She can walk to the elevator and stand in it for the ride up but Kara whips out her puppy eyes. “It would make me feel better, please.”

Lena nods and catches herself feeling slightly relieved when Kara carefully anchors one arm behind her knees to lift her off her feet. She curls in on her girlfriend, possessively fisting the front of her shirt as she lets herself be carried to the elevator.

Kara doesn’t let go until they’re standing in Lena’s large en-suite bathroom, where she carefully puts Lena down. With a tender kiss, she leaves Lena to undress herself and starts filling the tub. She adds some heat vision to the water until the hot water comes in and she can effectively regulate the temperature by adding more or less cold water using the taps.

Lena slowly undresses herself. Each article placed, neatly folded and with care, on the countertop next to the sink. Just as she finishes taking off the last of her clothing, Kara turns around and motions for her to test the water. She quickly folds the piece she just took off and dips her hand in the tub.

The water is warm, bordering on the edge of too warm but for this occasion it’s perfect. She tells Kara as much before raising her hand from the tub and slipping into the water. It envelops her like a snug blanket and, though it doesn’t do much yet to make her feel better, she can feel herself relax bit by bit.

“Are you coming in too?” Lena asks Kara, who hasn’t made a move indicating she will. Lena doesn’t bathe much in her tub, but ever since she’s going out with Kara, she’s never done so alone.

“No, you just enjoy it. I’m going to clean up the mess I left at your office and get some supplies,” Kara answers with a small shake of her head.

“You sure?”

“Yes, just relax and I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Lena sends her another questioning look. And maybe she’s trying to copy the puppy eyes Kara always uses on her to get her way. She clearly fails because Kara laughs, presses a kiss to her forehead and turns around to leave.

“Don’t forget to give the food to-”

“To Dave on the corner of the street. I know,” Kara finishes. Dave, the homeless veteran living on the corner of the street has become somewhat of a friend to Kara and Lena. Always refusing Lena’s offers to get him back on his feet with an interview or a suit or money. The only things offered he accepts are food and beverages. An odd blanket when the weather gets really cold. He’s told them he’d gladly have their leftovers so they make sure to give him any and all they have. Kara usually orders even more food or just eats slightly less than she would if she didn’t want to have leftovers. Lena always has leftovers anyway and is happy she can at least offer help in some way, even though she’d rather do more.

It’s some form of symbiosis, Lena muses. They give Dave food and Dave looks out for them. More than once has he made sure Lena got home safe and he’s prevented several burglaries in the building from happening. He won’t take credit but Lena knows the only person who can be the ‘insane maniacal man’ – as described by witnesses – that went after the burglars, is Dave.

Kara closes the bathroom door behind her with a soft click, leaving Lena alone with her thoughts. She lets her head fall back, closes her eyes and hopes the relaxing sensation she feels in her limbs will soon spread to her core and make her cramps ease up or disappear altogether. In an attempt to make time pass more quickly, she tries to imagine she’s on some tropical island. On a well-deserved vacation, the first in years, phone turned off, laptop left at home and a cocktail on a small table next to her chair in the sun. She should really invite Kara to a vacation like that. She knows they both need it.

The attempt at daydreaming doesn’t really help much. Something keeps dragging her back to the present. To her tub and the uncomfortable pain in her lower stomach. She never gets a chance to imagine the brightly coloured parasol in her drink.

Distraction does come in another form. True to her word, Kara returns a few minutes later. In one hand she carries a plastic bag filled with items Lena can’t discern.

“Hey,” she greets, sending the blonde, who tries to close the door softly but fails and winces at the slightly louder noise than expected, a gentle smile.

“Hey. Feeling any better?” Kara strides across the small room and unceremoniously dumps the plastic back on the counter, taking a few items out.

“A little bit.”

“So no,” she says with a teasing smile. Lena pouts at her. She does feel better than before Kara had come back. Kara just has a way of making her feel a little better. Even if it’s just by taking away that tad of loneliness that still lingers in her bones from the time before they met. From before Kara had helped Lena open up and introduced her to her friends, who invited and accepted her as one of them with open arms.

“I read chocolate helps so I got you some.” She takes out a large bar of chocolate. The expensive kind, Lena notices with a grateful smile. More importantly: the tasty kind. She doesn’t feel like chocolate right now. In fact, the thought of having to eat it right now makes her feel slightly sick, but she knows she’ll really enjoy it once she’s feeling a little better.

“I got some iced tea too, because you need to stay hydrated.” Kara puts the chocolate on the floor next to the tub and adds a bottle next to it. “Painkillers, some water to take them with. And this book-” she waves a book with an orange cover, the moving letters too blurry to make out the title- “because I know you’ve been wanting to read it.”

Lena looks down at her wet hands, still submerged in the water, and back at the book. No way is she going to hold a paper book with wet hands but she doesn’t want to have to muster up the energy to dry them off and hold up a book to read. She doesn’t really want to put any effort into anything right now.

“Don’t worry,” Kara reads her mind, “I’m going to read to you. Just lean back and relax.”

So Lena does just that. First, Kara hands her two painkillers and a glass of water, which she gratefully accepts and then Kara sinks down next to the tub, her back against the far wall of the bathroom so she’s facing Lena.

“It’s ‘the immortal life of Henrietta Lacks’,” she reads from the cover before turning several pages and starting to read the preface to Lena.

After a while of reading, Lena starts to doze off slightly, jolting back awake every few seconds. Kara, of course, notices and closes the book. She marks the page with a paper towel, for lack of a better bookmark within reach.

“You want to get out and maybe take a nap?” she asks.

Lena shakes her head. She doesn’t want to nap. She likes Kara reading to her. It’s a good book and Kara’s voice is so angelic and pleasant to listen to. She can just get lost in the story and forget the world around her. She feels so much better now too, which only serves to increase her unwillingness of changing the situation.

“The water must be getting cold though and I don’t want you to fall asleep and accidentally drown.” Kara puts her finger in the water to prove her point, even though Lena knows she isn’t that sensitive to temperatures as humans are.

“You could just reheat it.”

“That wouldn’t solve the drowning part.”

Lena sleepily nods. It wouldn’t. And Kara’s got a point, she could very well fall asleep right now. She wouldn’t drown because she isn’t so tired her body won’t wake up and Kara’s there to keep her from actually dying too but she doesn’t want to taunt fate.

“You can wear sweats and a hoodie and just lie on the couch and I’ll read you some more there,” Kara suggests. Lena likes the compromise, she still gets read to and Kara doesn’t have to worry about her drowning.

She unplugs the tub and watches the water swirl away before getting up. Her movements are a little sluggish and Kara uses the pretence of wrapping a towel around her to help her get out of the bath. As Lena dries herself off, Kara produces a pair of soft sweatpants and a worn hoodie that was once her own but has now been claimed by Lena. Lena picks out her most comfortable underwear, not caring even a tiny bit about how it looks and dresses herself.

Kara walks with her to the couch, where she plops down, feeling slightly more awake but also feeling her stomach ache slowly act up again. She rubs at it and Kara immediately turns concerned.

“Still hurting?”

“Only a little bit,” Lena honestly admits. “Nothing as bad as it was.”

“I read that orgasms can help with cramps.” Kara blushes slightly at her own suggestion, still not entirely comfortable talking about sex.

“Are you seducing me, Miss Danvers?”

“N- No, no, no I’m not- I-” Kara stammers as Lena raises a suggestive eyebrow, “yes?”

“I’m very flattered and though there could be a chance it might help, I never tried. Maybe it’s something we should leave for tonight to try because right now, sex really is one of the last things on my mind. And if it helps, it can maybe make me get some decent sleep.”

Kara nods understandingly. “Anything else that can help right now?”

Lena shrugs. “I used to use a hot water bottle. I think I might have one in the back of my closet still.” She moves to get it but Kara gently pushes her back to the couch and, with a stern look telling Lena to stay put, ventures off to find the item herself. It isn’t long before she returns with it. A soft thing with an even softer and fluffy cover. Kara makes quick work of filling it, cheating slightly on heating the water by using her powers again. It’s just faster than waiting for the water from the tap to get warm. She hands the hot water bottle to Lena, who lays back against the pillows on the couch and places the bottle on her stomach.

Kara disappears again for a brief moment. When she returns, it’s with two mugs of steaming tea. The book is trapped under her arm and she carefully places the mugs on the table before sitting down next to Lena and coaxing her girlfriend down to rest her head on her lap.

She combs her fingers through Lena’s hair and shifts a little until she’s comfortable and has made sure Lena is so too.

“You good?” she asks, fingers trailing over Lena’s skin.

“Perfect. You’re perfect.” Lena stares straight up into Kara’s eyes, her own green ones bright and shining. “I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have said all those things about you not knowing what it’s like. I was just jealous because you don’t usually feel pain and I was miserable.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. Being in pain isn’t an excuse to behave like an asshole.”

“It is okay,” Kara emphasises. “You’ve apologised and explained and I understand. So now, it’s okay.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Lena lifts herself up a little to reach Kara’s face and as soon as Kara realises what Lena’s trying to do, she leans down and meets her halfway. Their lips touch in a tender but deep kiss, leaving Lena slightly out of breath and pulling a proud giggle from Kara. Neither can really believe the other is their girlfriend yet, even after all these months.

“Now, how about I read you a little more and later we can eat chocolate and ice cream and binge some Netflix show?”

“I do have to catch up on my emails later today,” Lena argues but Kara sternly looks down.

“No work until you’re feeling completely better. Jess knows you won’t be reading any emails today so if anything really urgent happens, she knows to call you. You can catch up on mail tomorrow. Please.”

Lena knows as soon as she looks at Kara again she’s lost. Kara’s puppy eyes always work. Without fail. Today is no exception and Lena can hear herself agreeing to Kara’s terms before she realises what she’s doing. Kara’s already pressing a kiss to her temple and carding her fingers soothingly through her hair again before Lena has a chance to take back her words.

She has to admit, it does sound really good. A day of not having to do much. No emails to catch up on. No paperwork to read. No phone calls to answer – unless there’s an emergency. And no board meetings to attend or annoying investors to talk to.

Now that she’s feeling a little better, she can actually enjoy the rest of her day. Spending it with Kara on the couch and eating junk food just because they can. Listening to Kara read to her; finally getting some time to read the things shewants to read. Not just financial overviews, investment reports and research applications.

She relaxes into Kara’s lap. Giving in and admitting defeat. She’ll relax today. Kara’s right; she can jump right back into it tomorrow. Kara opens the book, resting it on the arm rest so the fingers of her other hand can continue playing with Lena’s hair.

Not even five minutes later, Lena is fast asleep and Kara puts the improvised bookmark back between the pages of the book. She strokes Lena’s cheek softly and grabs the blanket from the back of the couch to drape over her girlfriend. She looks so different asleep. Softer, younger and relaxed. Happy. Lena smacks her lips in her sleep and turns her head a little. Kara smiles down at her. She really has the best girlfriend she can wish for. She wraps one hand protectively around Lena, as best as she can with the way she’s sitting, and puts a pillow beneath her own head to lean back against.

With the remote, retrieved from a pocket attached to the couch, she turns on the tv and changes the channel to Netflix. A quick search through her list makes her decide on a show she knows Lena doesn’t necessarily want to watch. That way, they can watch the rest together and Lena won’t be sad she has to watch alone because Kara’s already seen something she wants to watch too.

Kara has every intention to let Lena sleep as long as she needs – she clearly needed it, with the way she looked and how easy it was to get her to fall asleep. They’ll probably talk a little more about it later and Kara is definitely going ask Lena to get on the pill again if it prevents her from feeling like this. She did look like death before and if that can be prevented, why wouldn’t she? The tv show quickly draws most of Kara’s attention. At least enough to not make her sad about the fact that she can’t get up to get ice cream. She doesn’t want to wake Lena and Lena is looking so cute and making soft sleeping noises that have Kara awe once in a while, she can’t feel mournful over the ice cream for too long. They’ll eat plenty together once Lena wakes up again.

#supercorp #kara danvers #lena luthor #kara x lena #kara danvers x lena luthor #karlena #supercorp fanfic #supergirl #fanfic #my writing

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