so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
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I've seen a lot of people talk about how the game doesn't give you any leeway when you play The Dark Urge, how it makes it very clear that Durge was A Bad Person, but I haven't seen it pointed out that Sceleritas seems VERY well versed in gaslighting the hell out of them and steering Durge away from any doubt or guilt in regards to their actions. Makes me think that they've probably had those types of conversations before because Durge actually always had a soft spot, only it got smaller and smaller in time. I have not had the opportunity to see the Heal cutscene yet, but I've got the butler in my camp now and he had some interesting things to say, like
[Durge: Can you tell me the worst thing I ever did?
Sceleritas Fel: There was one time you gave a beggar some coin while we were en route to the Devil's Fee.
Sceleritas Fel: You didn't kick him or spot on him or anything! I was so shocked I almost fainted!
Sceleritas Fel: I still have nightmares about it to this day. But I'm sure you only did so to lower the suspicions of the Flaming Fist. Surely?]
and it struck me because tossing a coin to a beggar is a bit of a thoughtless act isn't it? You don't put much thought into it, you just see someone in need and you do it. Out of empathy, generosity, something The Murder Incarnate should not be capable of. Sceleritas' uncertainty of Durge's reasoning for it totally convinces me it was NOT intentional. A simple act of kindness that slipped out.
ALSO
[Sceleritas Fel: The only way for a Butler to die is if we are not of use to our Master. But you have always needed abundant assistance.]
They always needed abundant assistance. Why? Because they kept slipping out of Bhaal's grasp? We know they did at least once, with Gortash. Maybe it was not the first time, maybe there are more "Letters of Forgiveness" tucked away somewhere.
To me pre-tadpole Durge is just terribly mindbroken and indoctrinated person hooked onto the sense of safety, purpose and acceptance of their dark side that the cultists and their father give them. Yeah they enjoy murder, gore and all that. That's the curse of their blood, but I don't think they were ever entirely consumed by it. Morality, guilt and empathy have always been there on the edge of their mind. Losing their memories (depending on player choices I know, but bear with me) was what they needed for them to be finally brought forward.
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YUUJI X READER X CHOSO
when choso approaches yuuji with an intimate confession and a plea for help, your best friend convinces you to give his big brother a hands-on demonstration.
mdni. reader has breasts + a vagina + is called “baby” once; otherwise referred to as they/them. this is just over 1k words. i may write additional parts, but i make no promises!
Why did I agree to this?
Your back is pressed to your best friend’s broad chest, his tawny skin hot against your own. Bent at the knee, your legs are spread far apart, feet planted on the white bedsheets. A whimper escapes your bitten lips—a soft, fluttery exhale—half-embarrassment, half-excitement.
Discarded somewhere on Yuuji’s bedroom floor is your bra. You’re simply clad in a pair of cotton panties, plain white, nondescript. You wouldn’t call the undergarment sexy, but the bulge straining at the small of your back begs to differ; it sends a thrill down your spine.
Choso kneels between your open legs primly, wide palms clammy as they rest atop his knees. His eyes are smoked amethysts, unreadable as they pointedly remain on his brother, never straying to your face or your mostly nude figure.
“Look, Cho,” Yuuji entreats as his calloused touch moves upward from your thighs to your breasts. You swallow the breath that hitches in your throat, chest shuddering as two thick fingers pinch each of your nipples. “Touch them riiiight here—feels good, huh baby?”
Baby. (You’d rather drop dead than admit it, but you’ve pleasured yourself countless times to this fantasy, the image of your best friend calling you every endearment beneath the horizon in his honey-sweet voice.)
Wading through a syrupy fog of tension and want, you nod in agreement. Choso swallows thickly, Adam’s apple bobbing as he replaces Yuuji’s hands with his own, gaze darting to yours. His palms are larger than his younger brother’s, his ivory fingers cool and smooth as they circle your nipples.
Earnestly you suggest: “You can look at my tits, Cho.”
Yuuji chuckles at the way the older man’s cheeks ripen and bloom from your forwardness; his hands settle on your thighs, kneading the fat as he watches his brother shift his attention. Choso focuses on your chest, at the way your breasts ripple and bounce under his careful ministrations.
For the first time since he walked into the room, Choso speaks. “Is it okay if I…” he licks his lips as he trails off.
His voice is gentle and almost monotone; you’d be offended if you couldn’t see the flush that burns the tips of his ears and bleeds down to his strong chest. (The visible strain in his black boxer briefs puts your mind at ease, too.)
“Use your mouth,” you urge him with a kind smile.
It surprises you how quickly Choso dips down, the tip of his nose brushing the swell of your breast before he sticks his tongue out and paints a swirl that ends on your nipple. At first, just the peaked nub rests between his chapped lips. But he builds confidence—or curiosity gets the better of him—and you gasp as he sucks as much breast as he can fit into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks. He repeats his movements on your other breast.
When he raises his head, he leans into you, stopping a hair’s breadth from your mouth, a silent plea for permission. “Now kiss me,” you murmur; Choso obliges.
It begins chastely: your lips slotting with his and guiding the pace. He jolts at the sensation when you first slide your tongue along the seam of his lips, although he catches on quickly, allowing you entry. While his hands initially rested awkwardly on the mattress, he now moves them upward, cradling your cheeks with reverence. His kisses are sloppy and unpracticed, but you both find yourselves growing heated as your fingertips map his torso, skating lower and lower until you can twirl his thick happy trail. You whimper when he shifts and accidentally grinds against you.
Yuuji interrupts your increasingly desperate make out. “Ready to see them, Cho?”
Choso pulls away, a string of spit snapping between your parting tongues. He watches as Yuuji thumbs the top of your underwear before sliding them beneath the fabric and stroking your plush hips.
“Before you remove these, you should feel our lovely guest through the fabric.” Yuuji’s breath curls against the shell of your ear; you can’t help the moan that slips out and hangs in the air. He rests his chin atop your shoulder, his next words making you clench: “I’ve got a feeling it’s soaked.”
Eyes the color of bruised plums meet yours. Three fingers brush against the top of your panties, trailing down over your clit, stopping right at your hole. “You’re so wet,” Choso states, rubbing the sodden fabric. “All of this is because of us?”
You shiver under Choso’s fervent stare. Yuuji presses a tender kiss to your shoulder as his hands move up to caress your hair. You swallow dryly; you don’t think you’ve ever been as turned on as you are right now, pinned between the brothers’ bodies and undivided attention.
“Yeah—mmm, yes,” you manage to get out.
Pleased by your response, Choso hums. He drags a fingernail up your underwear until he teases your clit, featherlight, coaxing a warble from you. Eventually, he makes his way back to the waistband. “Can I?”
You bite your lip. “Please, Cho.”
As though savoring the moment, Choso lays down on his stomach and peels the garment off, exhaling a shaky breath as your pubic hair emerges, then groaning when your entire cunt is bared. Yuuji slides a hand down your belly and peels back your vulva, desire webbing across your folds, highlighting your swollen clit.
“Oh fuck—that’s a pretty sight,” Yuuji mutters.
His brother either doesn’t hear him or ignores him entirely; Choso looks only to you. “I’m going to taste now, okay?”
“H-hold on,” Yuuji blurts out. You twist around to look at him. His amber irises blaze as he slips his middle finger down, shallowly massaging your wet hole. “I—” he pauses, “I wanna try, too.”
His eyes never leave yours as he raises the shining digit to his mouth and proceeds to greedily lap up your arousal. “Shit,” he hisses. You think you’re going to wither under the intensity of his flaming stare. But instead—he pulls you into a bruising kiss.
Before you can process the pressure of your best friend’s lips on your own, Choso licks a line from your hole to your clit, wrapping his thick arms around your thighs, and Yuuji swallows your squeal of surprise. All rational thought floats away with your impending bliss.
You still don’t know why exactly you agreed to this arrangement. But these two brothers are going to be the death of you—of that you’re certain.
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