#It's 3 am where I live rn

[popslwttuce]

"Wait, was that a compliment?"

#I wanted to redraw this scene so bad #It's 3 am where I live rn #the gay hedgehogs kept me awake I can't stop thinking about them <33 #sth #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #sonic prime spoilers #sonic prime #.popsicles!

[corpsentry]

breaking the law and outing myself on the internet because i'm showcasing my senior dance thesis on april 28 at 6:30 and 8:30 pm Eastern Standard Time and i want You to see it

we don't have a livestream link yet but we will. in the meantime look at these cool posters and this cool blurb. ok now save the date SEE YOU SOON

#my stuff #my art #these posters went through 14 separate drafts. it was a harrowing and difficult experience #i am Fully Going through it which means 1) physical health is suffering 2) social life also but 3) the thing is going to be so fucking good #sarus is gonna be the best thing ive ever made when we finish it. i Know it #so i want you to see it because it's one of those ambitious stories where everything's bigger than life #and the world is old and young and scary and kind and people live fearlessly and with cowardice #BUT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. IF YOU JUST KEEP WALKING. this is going to be one of those stories #so many dance blurbs and descriptions are like stupid technical like oh we explored the effect of weighing down our hands and feet #on our Center of Gravity and how it altered the rotational momentum of turns and jumps #or else they're stupid esoteric like oh the wind blew..... and the children wept and all over the world the oceans rose... (global warming) #so i was determined to make this blurb (which is going in the schoolwide email blast) accessible and provocative #and inviting #in a provocative way #im very Locked in rn. im Hyperfocused as fuck. i am not eating as well asi should be but IM TRYING #AND THATS WHAT MATTERS #im inviting all of u bc this is a piece that is going to try and say something and i want everyone ive ever loved to hear it #oghey bye

[mattodore]

...okay so the b&a of this edit looks a lot less impressive than i thought it would

#i sunk like five hours into this edit all together i think... how......... like where did all that time go......... #well. skdfjnhdkjfhksdgghdfjknghkjndfkhdfkjhdknjfgh #river dipping #ts4 #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #ykw is so funny..................... i already have three other screenshots i want to edit 🧍 #i just really love the way their sims look when they're in their thirties and the lighting in this room is so gorgeous #BUT! i'm gonna save that for later. rn i'm just gonna scroll and post some drafted reblogs and then read #i seriously used like all of my free time yesterday messing around in photoshop......... today i'm just gonna do next to nothing #<- person who knows they're incapable of not looking at their ocs every few hours <- i am definitely going to end up in photoshop again #anyway............................ good morning!!!!!!!! <333 i'm so happy i finally answered that ask last night like!! i'm really trying #to be more timely with my responses to people!! that said... i'm definitely behind on my activity again #and i still have mentions i wanted to reply to from last month. eek. #listen........................... Avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) is a mental health condition that involves chronic feelings of #inadequacy and extreme sensitivity to criticism. People with AVPD would like to interact with others #but they tend to avoid social interactions due to their intense fear of rejection. #thank you cleveland clinic definition of avpd <3

[isa-ah]

sometimes I forget how bad my black outs used to be when specific other alters fronted but I just found an entire sketchbook cover to cover full of art and ocs I don't recognize in a style that's hardly mine from my last really really low point a number of years ago. wild. who's shit is this lol

#where i am in life rn i host easy and tend to cofront if anyone else fronts #but there are large periods of very very very bad times in my life that are just a blank wall to me bc someone else took over hosting #and i dont even know who it is! #it was probably the worst when i lived with my aunt after my grandparents died bc i was around a little bit #but i would lose so much time and so many convos and arguments and stuff that i would then not act upon bc. they were redacted #i have a vague idea of who that was at least (which id call him 13) but when i was still back home? or working at sky harbor? #no clue. i dont think they were the same alters as each other or as 13 🤔 #but still. a WHOLE sketchbook?? i dont recognize 99.999% of this art or 75% of the ocs. insane #*grocery store loudspeaker* excuse me there are several lost children can someone come to the front of the store and claim them #lol #i wonder if 13 and bulldog have any relation hmm #<- insane on main <3

[fishyartist]

Tryin 2 do portfolio shit…. I’m gonna find a way to make this fun if it kills me ok?

#ignore that the butlers a poorly edited png of the butler from that one shitty episode where Danny gets rich. living large. #could NOT be assed 2 design a guy #also ignore that I cannot draw circular stairs it’s ok <3 I know blender it’s fineeeeee #‘’know blender’’ it’s more accurate 2 say I am capable of brute forcing blender #which is Good Enough for making layouts of shit <3 #just redoing gonna model this in blender+paint over it later rn I’m in bed+sleepy+cozy tho so snzzz #wip #my art #also I wanna make the peacock chandelier one of those things u spin and it does a little animation #my brains saying ‘’rotoscope’’ that’s NOT rights but like. it’s close I think #like the word I mean. techniques rn’t related #also wanna add clutter BUT also the house needs 2 be desolate+unused outside of a few rooms #imo #so figuring out clutter that fits the vibe is a must #like marble statues+that kinda thing maybe?

[hardlypartying]

“i’m not the bad guy you think i am”

“i got a boat that can get us off the island… we gotta get out of here, it’s better if we work together”

“they’re going to find john b and your sister” “sucks for them, that’s good for us tho”

“i told you we just had to work together”

“i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”

“i know your friends and my sister are on the island, i’m not helping them, i can’t trust them okay… i’ll give you a ride out but not them”

“i mean i always liked you kie, you’re at least half kook”

+

“i just lose control in moments like that, i’m trying to get better” kiara nodding along and her small “okay” as he explains himself

and her “oh god” and teary eyes when he starts slapping himself

HOW is this canon we were fed a full course meal 😭

okay anon you did it-- this delicious assortment of canon dialogue is the straw that broke the camel's back bc now i've got a new fic in the works directly based off of the line “i can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe”

or, the one where sarah was right and ward/rafe are the ones after them and rafe accidentally kidnaps kiara instead of sarah and uses her as extortion >:)

#and also the “im not the bad guy you think i am” line..... did i not have that in chap 3 of bad habit?? #bc i remember writing something like that bc of the darkling and felt rafe was angsty enough to say some shit like that #feeling so happy with canon rn #living life loving life <3 #anyway for the new fic (no ETA at all rn) it'd be kiara being taken back to Guadeloupe #and forced proximity (the greatest trope ever imo) where she's trying to get away but there's literally no way to and rafe is all #"???? wtf are u tryin to do ur safe here??? #and kiara is very much Not for that and is always like “they're gonna come for me” #and he's an absolute dick and is very much “hm sure how sweet” #ANYWAY #it'd be a morally grey kiara which i'm gonna need to roll up my sleeves to do but the way i'm seeing it its totally possible #absolute carnage of them getting involved in some dark ass underbelly of illegal markets for the cross #i need to figure out how long it's gonna be first and work with that #reluctant allies ultimately #enemies with benefits #asks #riara

[pendraegon]

all my stuff is FINALLY moved out of my apartment, got another package shipped off halfway across the country juuuust in time, my flight back home is on monday, literally i can almost fucking taste lake michigan babeyyyyyyy

#the moving/storage company came 2 hours late bc they miswrote my address on their gps</3 alas. #anyways. im basically living out of my suitcase until my flight but besides that it's SUMMER BREAKKKKK FUCK YEAH #<- has gotten like 6 hours of sleep in the past 4 days total #all i have to do now is wipe down the fridge and take out some trash and im basically DONE. jesus fucking christ. im so tired. #sometimes im like. is it normal to miss your hometown so much. i feel like im never as happy as i am back there. im always just a little #bit sad here where im living rn.........

[d0d0-b0i]

always get so pleasantly surprised when people really like my stuff i post :) love you all. whether you celebrate something or not around this time i wish you all the best <3

#i always first and foremost post for me if not otherwise stated on the post itself #and that is what i always have done and aspire to continue. but #it makes me happy to see so many likeminded people around me #sorry. i am getting sappy and emotional; today has been draining for reasons i do not know #i am very tired and it is late for me so i will try sleeping soon #i am glad to have found such a nice and large fandom in sonic. it has allowed me to try and be more approachable and friendly while still #being myself at my core interactions. this year has been strange and new and exciting so i figured i might as well try #and make some more friends. which i have; i am happy to say :’) i have always had a hard time socializing. and to find people willing #to understand the things i say even though it’s worded weirdly #and i’m happy so many can enjoy the art i post <3 it means a lot to me #especially when i feel as if i don’t do enough. i like many others have some. issues regarding worth and content but i am trying my best #and. am getting better at it 👍 i think i might be getting sick ergo the sappiness and long tags #but i don’t regret the things i say. i love you all followers mutual ppl i follow #there is so much space in my heart and i am not afraid to admit that i get attached easily and do not know where friendships begin. #but i. am willing to try and find out! if the gods are willing; hopefully a good new year for us all next week! and more commmunity and love #i hope you understand what i am trying to convey. ive been scared of being this open but if i am not then i will never know living #and loving <3 will still be posting obvs i am simply joyous rn! gonna sleep now :3

[emodennis]

why did i decide to take a job at an extremely active and sport-focused camp this summer.

#well on the bright side i got my legal name changed to phoenix on the staff portal #but training starts tomorrow #and im gonna be the bitch that's slower and less fit than everyone else #like i genuinely do not see a scenario where that doesn't happen #i'm either gonna have to push my body beyond what its capable of doing comfortably #or ask for breaks #i hate the society we live in #where i internalized that asking for breaks is weak and embarassing #but to answer my own question. it's because the pay is so much better than the other camp jobs i was applying to lmaooo #i mean i'm sure i'll get more fit as the summer goes on #but being behind everyone else in the beginning is gonna be so stressful #i tried so hard to exercise more this month. but i don't think i did it more than 3 times a week #which i don't think was enough #but hopefully it will be something #i also hate the sun and bugs. #WHY AM I DOING THIS KASJHDAKSHD #i don't even know if i like working with kids :''') #i hate new situations where i have no idea what to expect #i did as much research as i could but the autism can't handle the things i can't know or prepare for #idk what i need rn. everyone's who's told me that its gonna be fun or a good time or whatever has not helped #and anyone who's validated me and said that it sounds stressful hasn't helped either #so i will take your likes on this post as a little kiss on the cheek <3 #that's all i need #phoenix talks

[cheapcheapfaker]

already hungry enough to make lunch after making myself a second breakfast an hour and a half ago knowing im also gonna need to have a before dinner snack so i can have energy to make dinner where ill most likely not even have leftovers to save for lunch like i used to anymore and then also maybe an after dinner bowl of cereal and havin to make all this food not to mention seeing the amount of silverware n dishes im goin through and and and

#is this how ppl w big appetites live??? you live like this??? #ive got a hobbit ass appetite rn #it’s EXHAUSTING i love food i love eating but #HAVING to eat so much or i get nauseous is just such a damn drag omfg #i used to have a very milky coffee and maybe a parfait and a small lunch and be #ok for dinner this is insanity. i am runnin out of forks and spoons #i had 2/3 of a very milky coffee. robust apple pie smoothie w oats and Greek yogurt and apples #then some Mac n cheese w spicy furikake (try that combo btw if you can its dank) #and im already #considering making my lunch burrito early. IM TIRED #AND IM NOT REALLY GAINING ANY WEIGHT?? #where is it going #the beans gonna bust outta me the size of that scary baby from the rugrats

[pepprs]

#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running #away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made #basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not #doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start. #purrs #i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any #sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY #part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move #out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older #but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings. #forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only #made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to #move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest. #i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use #my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a #atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i #did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging #fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy #home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it? #delete later #i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 #also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️

[lanshappycorner]

Convinced that some of u guys from t*st fandom live in another universe bc every now and then I will see some fandom PSA post on tmblr/twt/insta that will be like "Okay. I think we've gone a bit too far. We [insert situation that is not applicable anywhere else besides like one acc]." And I will be like WE?? WHO IS WE ....

#this is not abt any specific situation going on rn dont even try to search it up #i was just reminiscing abt the time where someone was like guys i think we're going too far with slandering idia its not funny anymore </3 #and i was like. WE ?????? U MEAN U...???? #i have smth to confess apparently its well known that a common way to slander idia is to call him a highlighter and i didn't even know- #-that was like A Thing until someone called him that in the tags when rbing my artwork #i think i live under a rock bc half the time it seems like the entire fandom is in on some joke I have no clue abt #its better this way tho i must also confess that i think this fandom is very unfunny the jokes dont land with me 90% of the time #like u know the meme where u edit mcdonalds hat on a character yeah i thought that was amazingly unfunny #inc*rrect qu*tes r so unfunny to me i have almost every hashtag for it filtered out #i go out of my way to block t*st meme accs on insta #that is how unfunny I think they r maybe i am just a party pooper but it is how it is </3

[inkykeiji]

there’s nothing more homey to me than the smell of onions sizzling in olive oil (*´ ˘ `*).｡oO ( ♡ )

#also fried zucchini #because my mom used to make it a lot when i was a kid #and pastina #🥺🥺🥺 #lived off of pastina as a kid HAHAHA i was so so so picky (i say as if i’m not still ridiculously picky) #and there was a period of my life where i would only eat pastina #def not the most nutritious but at that point my mom was just trying to get me to *eat* she didn’t care what it was haha #have a good saturday my friends!!! #my period is kicking my ASS rn #but i am gonna post an aku piece today and thennnnnn in (hopefully) a few days the chuuya dazai piece #and then a tomura prompt and then da!touya prompt #etc etc #i am sending u love!!! <3 #clari chatters #tw food #just in case u kno <3

[gayfranzkafka]

(insane post incoming) okay i've been a taylor swift re-recordings hater since the beginning but the Speak Now re-recording is making me INSANE i think it's partially just that i'm having a weird time emotionally anyway but like "Timeless" made me TEAR UP like bro WHAT like something about it being soooo essentially of that era but new like the novelty of it BONKED me over the head with a reminder of what it felt like to hear all those songs off Speak Now for the first time when i just had this IDEA of what love was & hadn't actually experienced it yet (& wouldn't for many years!!) like way before i even knew i was a lesbian just listening to taylor sing "enchanted" alone in my bedroom wondering who the guy she was singing about was & if she ever saw him again (because i was #blessed to not have internet access and therefor not know it was the dude from owl city she was singing about alsdfhaklsdhfasdh) & i remember just pouring through the little lyric booklet & its pictures & intro & mostly it was just me & the music & this picture of her in a ballgown in my head & this made up but hopeful romantic idea of what love is and like S C R E A M

#anyway i'm doing fine in case you're wondering #not to overshare but i think it's like. also because in my relationship rn we are like having to work through some things & like not even #anything out of the ordinary like just compatibility stuff that comes up for any longterm couple but we started talking about like spending #the rest of our lives together in very hypothetical way but still like really early in the relationship & now my gf is more like 'okay i #do really want to date you but i want to focus on working through these things & it feels overwhelming to talk about the longterm future rn #like not even in a way where i don't trust them & us to work through this but i'm just like. at the end of the day i guess i AM a romantic #& do have this idealized version of love that i believe in like i think that can be a bad thing (part of what kept me with my abusive hs ex #& i think it can also be a strength like i think it's NICE that i can still so clearly see & believe in a future with my gf even when we ar #working through hard stuff & when they feel overwhelmed but like. it's like is that DUMB or just like. i feel my feelings in a really inten #*intense way that i DO think is (sigh) like taylor a LITTLE BIT & it's like oh what does it mean for other people to not necessarily share #my same relationship to love like even the people you love will have a different relationship to love than you if that makes sense which li #*like duh but is also feeling like a mindfuck rn ANYWAY in conclusion i don't think my feelings are REALLY just about speak now but i DO #also think Speak Now WAS this formative text for me & represents/influenced the way i relate to love and like. SIGH. well i am thinking #about it. and i DID listen to 'timeless' on repeat & feel so emotional over it i literally felt like i was going to throw up <3 #and it's objectively like not even THAT good of a song asdlfjashdfasdfahsdf #anyway hiiiii how is everyone

[silicon-dykecunt]

Dyke at the beach, who will they injure??

#if you know where this is you are gay #tried making it a gif to get rid of ocean noise but I only got my phone rn so fuck that #just got 2 tattoos done here so I'll show them soon once healed better #if any of my mutuals live near brighton or ever visit hmu as I'm moving there soon #gayest place I ever seen #love going incognito with glasses and a masl #mask #suffice to say I get a lot of looks ranging from #I want to fight you #I am afraid of you #I want to fuck you #bonus if it's all 3 #dykes who wanna fight then fuck please interact #drive safe

[noxtivagus]

i will do a lot this 2023 >:3

#🌙.rambles #gna be a lot kinder to myself it's alright to take things at my own pace #i'm really hoping i'll be able to improve n strengthen the bonds i have now n make new ones too >< #ffxiv.. i wld like to develop our fc more. make new friends hopefully find some my age too. #i'm an fc leader now aaaa it's nearly been like a month but i've been busy !! #i will wholeheartedly do my best to live up to the responsibility. i rlly want to grow our fc to be a comfy close knit home for my ffxiv #friends. which is. atm rn just me n apollo on our server T_T BUT ONE DAY #n then static i wld love to raid. i want to help my friends get into raiding 🥺 so there's like 3 of us in our not-yet-established static #which means 5 more. regardless i do hope i'll clear another ultimate this year (ucob?) n raid pandaemonium savage again #n then finish both nier games n ccr n other games too. watch more stuff too hopefully #my sleep's been mostly fixed so i'm going to make a nee start this year #not gna dwell on my regrets to the best i can but i'll be kind to myself if i can't help it. nothing to gain by being too harsh on myself #this year's gna be hard w responsibilities irl w school n all n i am honestly very anxious #i've repressed it a bit w the break ;;;; but i'll face it as i always have. #i will study hard! i can't erase or rewind the past but i can do better moving onwards #these memories i can't return too may hurt yes n there'll be many times where it'll burden me n. i know i'll have many hard moments this yr #but i know i'll make it through n keep on going. pain and disappointment in some way will always be inevitable #but i'm more than my despair & i know i won't be alone on this path ahead of me. never have been entirely n never will be n i'll do my best #to remember n hold unto that!!!! #that said my social energy is still very inconsistent i apologize for that n i honestly don't know what to do regarding that but #i'll find a way as i always do. even if it doesn't quite have the 'best' outcome or wtvr i'll be kind to myself #even if things don't go as i dreamed like. idk the things i wrote to myself months ago.. that's alright #i believe in myself. #i'm rambling rn wait why am i so sleepy T_T #i am very used to being alone by just myself n apollo n my family whom i love very much so i may be really reserved w my friends #i barrly reach out n my social energy is typically inconsistent bcs of uhh old friendships that fucked up too but #i. god i cld just ramble abt this more n more but i think i'll be reaching cap for tags soon #that said though i'm really so grateful. for all the memories last yr. all the ppl in it; old friends n new. each moment each word #all of it. i write so much more than you'll ever know n.. even so i really don't think i can write enough to convey the depth of all the #love i have for like yk my family my friends n everything so dear to me in life :<< tyvm for 2022 genuinely yes