#Invisible is a good word for it

[mako-island-moon-pool]

#Been feeling very isolated again lately #I know it's expected of me to be the one to bring up when I'm sad but sometimes I'd just like someone to ask me if I'm okay #I know it's bad to like 'expect' it but is it really that wrong to wish someone would notice? #Like I *know* if I asked them they'd 100% listen and I'm so grateful for that don't get me wrong #I just wish someone would ask me first if I'm okay #This is probably selfish of me #People have their own lives they don't have time to worry about me and what I'm saying or how I'm acting #I know I have to work on myself and not rely on other people to make me happy I just #I feel so invisible all the time #I guess I just want to stop feeling like that #Invisible is a good word for it #I don't want to feel invisible anymore #Like I said I know I have to be the one to say 'I'm sad' so they can ask why because otherwise it's bad for me to just hope they will ask #But like I *do* do that when I need to. I *do* reach out when I need to #I just wish I wasn't always the one bringing it up #I just wish someone would notice that I'm not okay

[oatbugs]

Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art. #you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea? #if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

[pcos-and-endo-awareness]

#pain scale #good to use at the hospital #this helps put your pain into words #endometriosis #pcos #chronic pain #invisible illness

[flowerslut]

shamefully despite how easily i am influenced i have not made my way through your ao3 catalogue. where would be a good starting point? (licking kink not required but always appreciated)

wow thanks for giving me an excuse to make a compilation of my (shorter) twilight fics that I want more people to read!!!!! ok ok so all my best favorite ones (minus call of the night. we are pretending call of the night does not exist, okay? dont think about it. dont even look at it) are my mid-length ones. now, first and foremost: I am an angst writer, and boy do I love to whump on alice and jasper, so in no particular order, you should read these fun little jalice fics while you wait for me to update roots over the next few weeks/months

North Star

rated: M words: 20,336 chapters: one-shot summary: "He’s the Eye of the South. The god of war. Master of battle and oracle of death. He’s not just the most dangerous weapon the world has ever seen, but he’s a man in love. And combining those two just makes this so much worse. Jasper sees a girl in his head, and he's afraid of what comes next."

thoughts: okay i lied, they are in a particular order. or at least this one is. this is my favorite twilight fic I've written (I think) and I got dramatic as fuck with it. written for jalice week back in 2021, the prompt was "power/ability swap" and you get exactly that: jasper is the psychic, alice is the empath, everything else is the same... or is it? this is also notably the first fic I ever sent to someone (g, obviously) to look over/give corrections to, so that might be why it has fewer stupid grammatical/sentence structure issues than most of my other stuff (minus roots). content warning for physical abuse, implied sexual assault, and mild sexual content. (also on ff.net)

The Almost Quiet

rated: T words: 10,365 chapters: one-shot summary: "He wants to blame loneliness, but maybe this is what was meant for him all along. A long road that leads to a depressing end. Longing after a girl he doesn’t know whose mind is lost."

thoughts: the last line of this fic is my personal favorite one I've written in recently memory! anyways this is an all-human AU, (sort of). in 1920, alice and jasper meet as humans and jasper's job gets much harder after that. this one is far from the best on this list, but it's entertaining, angsty, and has a satisfying ending imo. content warning for forced institutionalization and ableist language. (also on ff.net)

Déjà-rêvé

rated: T words: 6,551 chapters: one-shot summary: "It's nothing Alice had ever seen. It was no vision, no dream. It was only a possibility that had haunted the back of her mind like a nightmare for as long as she'd known what was out there for her to fear. Jasper had never known about this fear until it became their reality."

thoughts: this is the shortest one on this list, and since you like roots, you'll probably like this. its vaguely similar in that it's a whumpy post-breaking dawn AU, but this is only a snippet of an aftermath in which alice loses her power. wrote it for secret santa 2022 and had a BLAST with it. (if you want more whumpy one-shots my ao3 is chock full of whumptober prompts)

No Friend of Mine

rated: T words: 15,199 chapters: one-shot summary: "He contemplates telling Peter about Alice’s visits, but something holds him back from doing it. Perhaps because it doesn’t feel like Alice whenever she’s lying on his bedroom floor, curled in an old blanket that’s too small for him but perfectly sized for her, utterly still and silent even while awake. A part of him feels like it would be a betrayal to reveal this side of her to someone even as close to him as Peter is. After all, Peter is his friend. And Alice is… well, not."

thoughts: I think this fic is severely underrated, but maybe that's because I literally came up with the concept and wrote it over the course of a day and a half or something insane like that, and I think that for a hastily written secret santa gift from 2020, it holds up sooo well. it's an all-human AU where alice is the weird new girl, and like always, jasper is in way over his head. all the cullens get a role, it has the 'fluffiest' moments, and its faaaantastic. content warning for child abuse.

The Hunted

rated: T words: 26,664 chapters: 11 summary: "It's not so wise if you try to run."

thoughts: this one is the most self-indulgent (with the most questionable characterization tbh) based on g's post from 2019 that says 'twilight, but when bella slips away from jasper and goes to the ballet studio to meet james, he isn’t there. he waited until everyone split up in the airport, and then went for alice instead. in the ensuing chaos, while everyone is freaking out, victoria grabs bella.' this is the only one on the list I might take a look at in the future to rewrite chunks of, but it's great fun your honor. ignore what anyone else tells you about the ending. but make sure to keep this short sequel/epilogue handy, for... reasons. (also on ff.net)

A Loyal Wife

rated: M words: 21,930 chapters: 5 summary: "Alice is only a Lady because she was forced to be one. She much rather preferred being untitled. Just a constant in this strange family of women. Girls both grown and not, betrothed to the man who protects and spoils them. Quickly the newborns realize that Alice is more weapon than wife, and that suits her just fine."

thoughts: last but certainly not least is my attempt at 'jalice enemies-to-lovers' that I wrote over the course of two days while on vacation. this story has everything: southern wars, a marriage cult, weird power dynamics, and [checks notes] trying to seduce your enemy mid-fight. this is another one of my favorites, and maybe the messiest (affectionate) as far as story content goes (of course, minus roots). content warnings for sexual assault/dubious consent.

#jalice #twilight fanfiction #alice cullen #jasper hale #no but seriously if you haven't read call of the night just hold off on it for now #the entire series is like half a million words rn but the beginning is SO POORLY DONE that i always wish I could make it like. #invisible to people on AO3 until I can fix it. that way I can CONTINUE the series #the fic/series as a whole is hashtag Good but you can just TELL the fist 20-50k was written by a high school kid. bc it was #thats on me for not editing well enough back in 2017/18

[dandylovesturtles]

Hi, first off I wanna say I love love LOVE your "I may be invisible but I still look good" book!! I've reread it already like 3 times

I know people can do fanart of your book but I was wondering if it'd be okay if I made it into a comic? I wanted to ask before I just started drawing it and then make you upset because I really don't want upset you! Again I adore your work and I really wanna show my appreciation for you! >-</💖

Hi! Sorry I took so long in answering this; if I’m honest it’s because I went back and forth.

I don’t mind people making fanart or comics or even their own work bridging off my concept at all! I’m not sure how I feel about an entire comic following my fic, though. And maybe that’s not what you intended! But if it is, I don’t know how I really feel about my fic getting a whole comic adaptation. On one hand I’m flattered that you would even want to, on the other hand I feel a little like giving my baby away, if that makes sense?

Maybe you could just do a smaller comic of a particular scene or scenes you really like?

I’m sorry if this feels like such a wishy-washy answer haha, I love if my fic inspires creativity and I hate saying no but I’m also just not sure how I feel about a whole Thing, especially if it’s using my dialogue.

#fic: i may be invisible but i still look good #to be clear I don’t mind my dialogue being used for short comics #or fanart #my hesitance is more around if someone tried to make like #a full scene by scene recreation #and again maybe that isn’t what was meant! #if not then just ignore me and go for it lol #I’m torn though because I really am not trying to be like #no it’s mine and you can’t have it lol #even if someone wanted to take the spell and the charm and make their own fic or comic #I wouldn’t be upset by that #I hope I worded this in a way that makes sense ffft

[vamptastic]

Idk it's weird because when discussing discrimination against trans men specifically, people tend to bring up like... being told men are gross or that you're betraying the feminist cause or something. And while those are shitty and mean-spirited things to say to somebody, what I would actually identify as a kind of specific systemic form of discrimination is the exclusion of transgender men from studies and surveys, and the relative ease with which people simply forget that we exist. Erasure, basically. Which honestly, seemed to be discussed more before the advent of whatever the current movement around trans men's struggles is called now, because there wasn't a metric fuckload of incomprehensible discourse surrounding it.

Most other things that seem to come up, while very real and very shitty, are not unique to us per se, though I do feel we are often left out of the conversation because it's assumed that they won't apply to us (ex domestic violence, fear of sexual assault, fear of being seen as a predator, accusation of transitioning for fetishistic purposes, assumption that we are transitioning to escape being gay, being denied access to fertility procedures without detransitioning, on and on and on). Which is also annoying.

I just find myself irritated by the current movement around trans men's experiences because there's some really pervasive problems in there that I do feel are systemic and underaddressed, mixed in with some stuff that's a problem but better addressed by putting one's energy into existing movements, mixed in with bonkers intercommunity drama that only matters if you're only friends with other queer people in an accepting area.

#if you find this stance objectionable PLEASE message me and don't block or silently seethe at me. please. #because i genuinely find this interesting and i think it's a shame that it seemed to devolve into pointless infighting so fast #like i would love it if somebody wrote an up to date book about feminism and trans men because of this. or at least made a good reading list #my investment in this is primarily because i am A. a feminist B. often perceived as a woman and C. a trans man myself #and i feel that there is a profound difference between how i experience misogyny and how cis female friends do #and has been pretty much since i got old enough for my peers to consciously express sexism #and i would very much like it if somebody smarter than me put that into words #like to be clear there's not really a ' side ' i would pick on this #other than like transmisogyny is a huge problem and most people are unwittingly transmisogynistic #and that trans men deal with a lot of bullshit wrt other people's baggage about maleness and are largely invisibles to many cis people

[jrueships]

Sauce fucked that old man 🤭

sauce: i Envisioned this. i Envisioned this, you Know. i Did. us two.... together .... A l o ne .

i envisioned it.

just me. and you, arod. and your friend,

Little Rod .

but he comes attached like a parasite between your pelvis so- he doesn't count, now Does he 🤭? ...... maybe hes Lonely .😳

Aaron: Ahmad Where Are Right Now ...

.... i'm Scared. .... the Nurses said it's Past my Bedtime . .

#sauce: IM SO GLAD WE'RE ALONE RIGHT NOW #* shouting over the sounds of men yelling and biting and spitting and screaming in a soldout stadium #sauce is like a kardashian #the cameras are his oxygen. they are invisible to him. but they are also his sustenance #he needs them around everywhere all at once All the time #great movie btw dont show ur mothers ull cry and she'll get up saying the movie sucked and didnt make any sense #sauce: WHEN THEY (zach wils*n 😡😤🙄) GO LOW . . . i go LOW - E R !!!! #* tries s*cking aarons musty crusty **** on LIVE television #whenever he sees a camera on them he starts leaning over #aaron is clothed and afraid #he misses he aquafina fucking whatever retreat #picturing himself trapped in the darkness of one of those sensory deprivation tanks to get him thru this hell #aaron voice: when words have new in front of them theyre supposed to be good #so why are you taking me to see the knicks . #didnt aaron have more greys and whites in that hair of his ???? #...... did sauce dye it for him . #yall . #PLEASE SAAUCE #STAND UPPPPPPP #OR AT LEAST CRAWL OVER TO SUCK A PP THAT HAS PEED ACROSS LESSER CENTURIES INSTEAD !!! #SAUCE #PL E A S E‼️‼️ #thank u for this ask but also WAARARRARARARARARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH !!!`++!+++!111!1!1!!1!! #MAJOR sauce L! ! N O T rare ‼️‼️‼️ #ted asks #HES NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FREEROAMIN AT THIS TIME !!!!!!!! #NURSES SAID IT CAUSES HIM FRIGHTS!!!!!! #LEAVE HIM A LONE SAUCE !!!@@@!!!

[screaming--agony]

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I wonder if my insecurities will win the battle I don’t want to lose.

#dear diary #heart vs mind #anxiety #struggling #ptsd #overwhelmed #insecurities #at a loss for words #dark thoughts #depression #never good enough #there will always be better #i don’t want to lose #hanging by a thread #alone #invisible #i can’t breathe #the struggle is real

[pepperpixel]

I got to the cool fun cozy atmosphere members only dual coffee shop / bar too fuckin early there’s NOBODY HERE!!!!!!! WHADDA HELL! Where r my party ppl…. :( I am just kinda tipsy munching on sweet potato fries all on my lonesome….

#to be fair even if there were ppl here they probably would not talk to me #but I could at least eavesdrop!!! live vicariously… thru them #but there’s NOBODY!!!! #rlly tho idk what’s wrong w me…. I just exude invisible energy… #the sweet potatoe fries r good tho. and so is the alcohol. so that’s good lol #I kno it’s still early maybe more ppl l show up soon #pepper words #the atmosphere is SO NICE IN HERE THO… it’s like… volunteer fire department. #it’s cozy.. and it’s good good music #they have COUCHES!!! #that is not sitting on cuz I’m too much of a wimp lol

[unproduciblesmackdown]

ppl will be explaining how a difference is a difference & not a Deviation from a Superior state, & people who are the ones considered Default Normal (superior) will be like "okay....to be polite....i Might say i consider Some aspects of Some people's existence mere 'difference' & not being less than me...." as like hey i'm a Benevolent god. i still actually get to consider you worse & don't have to "humor" anything that challenges my superiority. if you only want everything to fit into the norm then it will all come back to upholding the norm. thinking of people's analysis of their own realities as equally legimate as being like Obscure, Irrelevant, Superficial & then using that reasoning to justify dismissing them. same as worrying that the [Different Lessers (Others(tm))] as Everywhere = a manifestation of the awareness that, yeah, respecting them as equals Does threaten your norm which is smothering everything everywhere. ppl who need to lock in the idea of Borders around personhood like um Yes they're all delineated separate Identities outside any hierarchy & so i think it's relevant to for some reason push back against "ohh so now Everyone's queer" like why not. why couldn't they be. what if they were. what if queerness was everywhere b/c it's ideological not a cordoned off Alternative Identity that is accommodated by focusing on Love(tm) as the new border around whose existence we might begrudgingly accept at arm's length (i.e. being otherwise "normal"! just imagine swapping out the binary gender (or, deep breath, presumed Private Parts) of one partner in an exclusive romantic lifelong nuclear family marriage, & that is Gay / Trans Rights. still gross but maybe we can do it, as long as they don't talk about it or shove it in our faces or even exist for more than one encounter w/us in our lives b/c what are the odds). evergreen laughing at someone suggesting ableist logic might be embedded in language of past & present b/c it's just So little to ask for that it's irrelevant but it's also So much to ask for that of course i'm not gonna do anything more than pass it along like "this is why i don't take ableism seriously" like yeah it's the disabled randos like it's the individual cringe teens(tm) ruining [the cishets would take Gender seriously otherwise!!!] & that's why you won't think about it or do anything about it & continue being comfortable with the norm & resent that actually their Difference is Less & disability is something worse that ppl "excuse" & all these ways that people are & all these things that they do are funny & weird & inexplicable & etc & one can't possibly be cruising along perpetuating a hierarchy with a sense that you're reasonable, well meaning, kind, etc etc & thus Justified, systemic oppression definitely wants to maximize how uncomfortable & arduous it feels to everyone rather than push to make it more streamlined & rewarding to embrace, or at least accept, whatever superiority over others you're afforded

#circled around to lovelessness as a lens there. so long as one was loving. so long as one wasn't consciously malicious #really just mask off about keeping the same perspective of Superiority when conflating disability & ppl ''making excuses'' #same as like e.g. that ppl consider everything an autistic person does as being Bad / Wrong / Worse. (this includes ''unskilled''!!!) #(crushing the Social Skills(tm) framework in talking abt allistic difference in my fist) #such that they think sm1 saying Autistic!! is then something they might be unfairly Beholden to to Put Up With their Wrongness #at special times in special scenarios....rather than like in some contexts you are no more ''right'' than the other party #different groups & cultures whose Norms Standards & Expectations could render You presumed rude thoughtless pushy etc #obvious overlaps to consider re: the Norms of like english speaking as ''universal'' someone noticeably speaking it as nth language? #time to Presume their ideas & contributions are Less. if they had the good brain like you their fluency would render their linguistic #Wrongness in having a diff 1st language invisible thus irrelevant. like the ''ideal'' for disability! as the ''ideal'' for anyone Passing #in any way! queer ppl surely all want to be as proximate to cishet ideals (just as cishet ppl should!) nonwhite ppl to Ideal White #women's rights = Proving they're As Good As men. ladies you're using too many exclamation points!! be Confident be Pushier!! #but ofc nobody actually wants the Others(tm) to be Equal. they're just saying ''it's your innate Wrongness that means you Aren't'' #the ableism logic in everything. men just Are better at xyz. oh we Can abuse autists...into being as proximate to allistic as possible!! #just actually means ''oh we Can abuse autists.'' the ''correctness'' is your Difference ''intruding'' less into allistic existence #force you to be harmed & diminished all day then save your meltdowns for when you're alone & out of the way #ppl's tweets like ''when ppl say 'omg too sensitive ofc i wasn't talking abt disabled ppl!' like yeah no shit b/c you never think of #disabled ppl'' like yeah most people idk aren't making their life's agenda to stop everyone from saying Stupid #but like believe me people organically sense the Vintage R words when you get called Idiot in exactly the same spirit & purpose #i mean that's so rworded as in that's so gay!! cmon!! & it's fine if you don't say either to gay ppl or. or. [insert the office quote] #oh i don't call um 20th c disabled ppl morons it's bad taste!! but b/c i use it Figuratively in the present it's fine it's so Different #fr i can't remember like. an article w/1 matter of fact sentence from a doctor using a [now Just a childish insult!!] as Diagnostic Label #for someone's disability & it still registered like ice water in the face. presumably no ''especial'' Malice just matter of fact! #it wasn't ''idiot'' it may have been ''moron'' fr. the vintage ''factual'' r word is There plain as day #like yeah ofc the ableism gets channeled into alternate language. & then complaints abt that is like UGH CMON!!! #like idk shouldn't you be fine using the R word then too? not really sweating this issue thee most all thee time either but like #it's not sooo funny even if someone seems pressed extensively abt it. not that hard to in fact just not use all these words all the time #ppl will be throwing out their ableism w/o Any labels talking about how Weird Offputting Etc someone acts so you can Tell they're bad.... #and yeah you should think abt that. anytime. the [difference used to categorize ''other'' is Just difference] Is Everywhere All The Time #the idea it can & should be ''contained'' for especial limited specific occasions (when you're feeling Nice!) = upholding the status quo

[withlovebinnie]

Movie Night

I like to think that Kai loves watching movies. He used to go to the cinema everyday as a kid, but as he grew up his father expected him to find a better role than a film lover. So he dropped it.

Then, one day Vale comes home super excited about the news of the first film ever made: The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat, by the Lumieres. This reignites Kai's passion and he finds a way to bring modern movies back to Vale's London.

Every Monday they lay on the couch and watch a new movie togheter, and Kai is very opionated about it.

#the invisible library #irene winters #the invisible library fanart #kai strongrock #peregrine vale #kairine #genevieve cogman #modern clothes vale #i have not said a word here for months #but hey I'm still alive :D #college is taking all of my time and energy #but i miss the invisible library so much #i also decided to use a bit of my film knowledge for this headcanon #i hope everyone is doing good around here #hopefully I'll be back sooner than later

[pokimoko]

Just reached 20K words on my next Moon Knight fic! It’s looking like it’ll end up being another 30K fic, so it’s still a little way off from being posted. And most of the snippets I want to share (and god I want to share them so bad) are kind of spoilery for the overarching plot, so for now I will simply pique your interest with what I have deemed the story’s “vibe moodboard”:

Make of it what you will.

#my fic stuff #moon knight #esotam series #eternal sunshine of the absent mind series #not gonna announce the name yet BUT i will do the acronym for it and you'll just have to ponder what it could stand for #IYA(RTMOGD) #(i'll give you a clue: one of the words is absence...gotta keep that naming scheme consistent) #feel free to make some guesses #okay so there's a lot of things shown here so from left to right top to bottom it's *deep breath*: #mr robot. adventure time. doctor who. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. madeline miller. before i forget (game). homecoming (tv). #in the mood for love (movie). finding nemo. the magnus archives. omori (game). michael in the bathroom (song). frankenstein (book). #palimpsest (podcast). steven william (photo). waiting in the wings (song). jeremy miranda (painting). #ocean vuong. love like you (song). the invisible life of addie larue (book) #alright that's all of it woof #some of those repeat by the way I put mr robot & adventure time & doctor who in a few times #a few of these are just quotes that clicked but most were things i 'researched' (love 'researching' tv shows and moves') #(it's both a. great way to trick my brain into watching stuff because it's for 'educational purposes' and b. a good way to procrastinate) #(or the secret third thing c. crying over something because i've now made the mental connnection between it and moon knight) #(*cough* magnus archives episode 170 recollection *cough*) #anyway....this one's gonna hurt

[dontflirt]

the kpop space is so tiring

#m.💬 #was gonna leave this as a tag on my last post but nah #there’s always some kind of drama #I do not concern myself with that shit #I just woke up from a nap to so much information and I am overwhelmed #love being someone who doesn’t include myself in drama honestly #I’m depressed and angry enough about living as it is #I don’t need that added stress #don’t get me wrong I’m a nosy bitch and I’ll figure out what’s going on but then I walk away #I’ll just be listening to my music yall can be mad about whatever you want don’t mind me #but I’m basically a shadow and invisible so no one minds me anyway 🙂 #I’m on my period don’t take what I say seriously #also still post nap/sleep hazy #got rid of the ‘and petty’ part bc I don’t think that’s the right word #and it’s tiring in more ways than one so that descriptor is good enough

[dandylovesturtles]

I try not to put a lot of cussing in IMBI because I'm trying to stay closer to the tone of canon and they only let Leo cuss that one time, but sometimes it's really hard

like

what other word am I supposed to use to describe his future robot arm than "kickass"

#fic: i may be invisible but i still look good #I did let Donnie say fuck in Tapping Out though #he deserves to say fuck #I think Donnie would cuss the most #prove me wrong #if I wrote more in the doomed timeline I'd let them say all the bad words I want

[im-traumatised]

I need to stop talking. I need to stop talking. I need to stop talking. I need to stop talking. I need to stop talking. I need to stop talking. I need to stop talking. I need to stop talking.

#I just never fucking do it right #i try and be nice and help or give comfort or support and I fuck it up i hurt people i accidentally am toxic or bad and #i cant fix it and #I'm bad #im bad at talking and trying to help and being a person and having friends and being a sibling and social inter3 #I need to shut up and stop talking and turn invisible and hide away so nobody has to hear me speak #is this a spiral? yes yes it is #but man is this something i think every fucking time i interact with people #i need to shut the fuck up and never be seen or heard #because i cant fucking speak good enough cant form my thoughts into words quick enough or well at all #im a bad person im a bad person ima bad person #I need to stop talking. #AceofDragons #vent

[evildilf2]

I have legitimate stubble now but it’s BLONDE. Can you believe that?

#it’s invisible unless I try taking a selfie with good lighting and then it looks GROSS. #hopefully it will grow darker with time… #all my little words