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stranger-rants · 1 year

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I am guessing that Billy's bedroom couch may be a result of The Couch Problem that always happens when two people or families move in together.

It was probably left over from his old place with Neil, and Susan's couch became the family couch. Billy took the extra couch instead of junking it.

He has a lot of random furniture, too. Nothing is matching. This is interesting for a couple reasons that also tie into class.

Runaway Max indicates that Susan worked at a bank, right? That's a reasonable middle class job. I think Neil worked security there?

Security doesn't pay as well. So, I am guessing before moving in with Susan that Neil and Billy had a lower socioeconomic status.

Anyway.

That's interesting because when it comes to furniture, the lower class and the upper class tend to have more mismatched items.

This seems true for other things.

We often see a "u shape" trend when it comes to class "culture." That is, the lower and upper class care less about appearances.

The middle class tend to care more as they try to approximate the upper class, and thus they're more likely to buy furniture in sets.

The same things can be seen when it comes to fashion and clothing, food consumption, accents, etc. The middle class is more "self conscious."

The rich care less because they already have the cultural capital to do well, and the poor care less because they can't easily obtain that anyway.

I think this explains in part the difference between Max's bedroom and Billy's, which makes Max seem more "cared for" than Billy.

It comes down to the class differences within this "blended family." Max's mother seems to care more about appearances, so everything "matches."

Meanwhile, Neil and Billy were just surviving. While we get few glimpses of it, it looks like their home before the mom left was more put together.

They went from a two adult (and possibly two income) household to only one, and children are very expensive.

There's childcare. There's doctors. There's dentists. There's schooling. There's enrichment. There's the groceries and other necessities.

I don't see Billy as suffering from severe neglect. I do think Neil provided these things within his means, while pushing Billy to be self sufficient.

However.

I don't see Neil prioritizing Billy when it comes to these things unless absolutely necessary, and I have to wonder if finding Susan was kind of a scam.

Scam in that I'm not sure if finding Susan was out of genuine love seeking behavior or if it was motivated by money and the promise of stability.

We can see how just Neil leaving bankrupt Susan later on, drastically changing their lifestyle so class is never guaranteed to be static.

Neil bailed as soon as the relationship was no longer beneficial to him, while they were losing everything and he had no one left to control.

Don't know how this went from thinking about Billy's couch to an analysis of class, but it did. Hope it makes sense.

#billy hargrove #neil hargrove #susan mayfield

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lynxgriffin · 4 years

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I'm going to college next week! Kind of excited but also super nervous. Do you have any advice about starting college?

Well, uhhhh. I feel like any advice I give is not gonna be super helpful right now, because I didn’t attend college in the middle of a global pandemic. Like, I absolutely get the desire for normalcy and hitting the cultural milestones when you were told you’d hit them! But also, it’s a global pandemic! My experiences a good number of years ago don’t apply very well to current circumstances! Like, normally I’d encourage you to find means of going out and meeting cool new folks because this is a chance to break from high school and really come into your own, but also I would not advise that now, because it’s a pandemic and schools should not even be open and aaagh!

That said! Like...I guess in the context of doing classes now and all? Honestly I found college way less stressful than high school. You don’t have to do keep track of so much at once, your schedule is not as tight and controlled, and depending on the courses you take, your workload is more manageable. The main difference is it’s up to you to do all that management, you can’t really rely as much on other adults to control it all for you. So you’ve got more freedom! But then also more personal responsibility. Which I guess is adulthood in general!

Otherwise, stuff I can think up off the top of my head:

Are you struggling with coursework? Ask the professor for help. Have a major life event come up and need to reschedule a test or presentation? Tell the professor. Seriously, they’re there to help, and a good professor will be understanding and flexible to different life stuff that comes up.

Don’t cheat or plagiarize. Even if it’s just as a timesaver, even if it’s on something you don’t think matters. Trust me, professors always know. If they don’t say anything, it’s not because they don’t know, it’s because they don’t care. And if they do care, you can get in way more trouble for that in college than high school. Even if nothing immediately bad happens as a result, it’s bad habits to carry into the rest of life. You’re better off taking the grade hit than cheating, and more often than not cheating/plagiarizing saves you a lot less time than you’d think, anyway.

Set early ground rules with any potential roommates on how you divide up space, how you handle cleaning, how you store food, etc. Always helps when you’re upfront about your needs and preferences, instead of expecting the other person to know exactly how you operate.

Do try and keep your space clean! It’s a pain in the butt to clean stuff, but it makes you feel so much better to work and live in a clean space. Get those habits set now!

Start using a credit card now if you haven’t already so you can build credit, but do NOT trust it! It’s not free money, so don’t put yourself in debt!

Don’t drink and drive! Seriously, please do not!! Get yourself a taxi or a DD or just stay where you are until you’re sober! Also you shouldn’t be going to a bar anyway because pandemic, but whenever it’s safe to do that again, still applies!

You don’t need to give up any of your likes and hobbies now that you’re older! Embrace the things that you enjoy! Dig deeper into them! I guarantee that you’ll meet people who share your interests, and it’ll be heckin awesome!

Do NOT put dish soap in the dishwasher! DON’T DO IT!

Use BAKING SODA to put out a grease fire when cooking. Water or flour will make it worse. Baking soda will immediately snuff it out.

Once it’s safe to travel again, if your college has an international learning program, do it! You get so much out of living and studying in another country! Good for the brain and the soul and your social life!!

While it’s still pandemic, please wear a mask, wash your hands, social distance, be courteous and stay safe and all that goodness!

Being nervous and excited at the same time is normal! College is an improvement over high school for a lot of people, and for good reason! Have fun, know that there’s lots of people to help you in whatever aspects of life you may need help with, and make new friends!!

#ask lynx stuff #whoof could go on for awhile #I have parents that teach both HS and college so I'm Very Familiar with how both operate and have a lot of Thoughts!#Anonymous

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electricprincess96 · 3 years

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I just watched a video on a Korean YouTube getting basically banned in China because she said 쌈 (ssam - a Korean food which is basically a Lettuce wrap or other green leaf wrap filled with meat, rice and various other ingredients) and 김치 (Kimchi... you probably already know what that is but basically Korean fermented vegetables most commonly Cabbage or Reddish) are both Korean Cuisine (which they are) and not Chinese and she's she's dropped by the agency she worked at in China, her videos removed from China's main video sharing website and her account terminated because her agency said it compromised the relationship the agency has with the Chinese Commuist Party Leadership (I'm not making that part up). All because she said Korean food is Korean food.

To be fair to the girl she said if the option was to lie and let China appropriate her culture or never work in China again she said she'd never work in China again so I give the girl massive credit she's got guts cause I can guarantee you if this was almost anyone else they'd have rolled over to the juggernaut.

Now yes certain foods can be very very similar between different countries especially if similar ingredients are native to both countries because humans work with what they have and there are only so many things you can do with each ingredient. But she was eating Korean ssam and Korean kimchi in her video. She did not lie.

Then again I seen recent some Chinese people trying to claim the 한복 (hanbok - Korean traditional clothing, think the equivalent of a Scottish Kilt or a Japanese Kimono) as Chinese historical clothing so I'm not too surprised. I also seen them claim BTS Grammy Nomination was due to Rich Chinese fans when I think the American fans pushing them to #1 on the Billboard charts multiple times throughout the year thus putting them on the Grammy's radar get to claim that one, like even I can't claim that, my music downloads or albums bought don't effect the Billboard Charts.

I just found this equal parts interesting, absurd and very alarming.

#again i dont even know what to tag this #real world shenanigans #... is this tumblr commentary?#fuck it #tumblr commentary?

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years

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What is something Sokka only ever did and does with and for Azula? I'm not talking about his love but an act. The hairdoing question was because I like the first time he does Azulas hair lots It is a particular thing and the imagination him only doing Azulas hair is individual. I did not ask because of jealousy rather of particularity. I can't find anything he only did does for with Azula

... Right. So, in about 200 chapters worth of story, you haven’t seen anything Sokka has exclusively done for Azula? I... do advise you read more closely. But if you don’t want to...

Represents her as her personal fighter, at first because of their deal, after their relationship blooms he does it because he’s 100% devoted to her in every way that counts. To him, their bond is one of a kind and he does his best to grow stronger so he can continue to fight with and for her, so she may be granted all the respect she deserves. He outright rejects being sponsored by anyone but her, and even when they had no choice but to have Zuko sponsoring him (chapter 56), Sokka said it wasn’t the same because he wanted HER. So her role as her sponsor is one of a kind for him, and he absolutely would never have that kind of bond with anyone else.

Protects her with his body whenever they’re falling off places, something Azula has remarked on more than once. He takes the worst of the impact every time, shielding her however he can. To this day, I’m pretty sure he hasn’t done that with anyone else? (chapter 38, chapter 77).

He opened up to her when he was troubled (chapter 50), sharing some of his innermost turmoil and suffering, letting her help him when he usually would rather not burden anyone else with what plagues him. Further proof of how deeply he trusts her, enough to start putting aside his bad habit of bottling up his troubles for her.

Refused an opportunity to go home AND reconnect with the first person he truly felt comfortable with in the FIre Nation (Piandao), choosing to stay by Azula’s side instead and protect her from people who would most likely harm her (chapter 54).

Nearly killed two gladiators whose sponsors were attempting to marry Azula against her will (chapter 70, chapter 169).

Put aside every shred of his dignity and accepted all punishments Azula forced on him, enduring everything because he thought he deserved it for wronging her (the ENTIRE Rough Rhinos arc).

Gave her the better portions of food during their accidental trip through the forest (again, Rough Rhinos arc) AND saves food for her (chapter 124), meaning, prioritizing her needs over his own. We all KNOW how much Sokka loves food, Azula more than anyone, and the implications of him not eating so she could have more were pretty clear regarding how much she means to him, as far as I can tell.

Cooked for her, sometimes to catastrophic results, but he still tried :’D (chapter 131, chapter 151 to a fault).

Writes haiku for her, and it’s SPECIFICALLY STATED that he only manages to complete proper poems whenever he’s writing about her, as everything else he writes he leaves incomplete or adds too many syllables (chapter 38, chapter 104).

Controls his strongest impulses very often when it comes to physical affection throughout Part 1 (namely in Ember Island and Giving In arcs), always privileging her needs above his own. He’s willing to stop before outright penetrative sex in chapter 97, for Azula’s benefit, and only goes for it when she directly asks him to. Her comfort and happiness are the priority, not his own.

Embarrasses himself willingly just to make her laugh (I’m sure there are many possible examples of this, but right now I can’t find them, but I found one instance of it in chapter 130, at least).

Challenged a nobleman (Kuan) for behaving disrespectfully towards Azula, by dismissing her interests and choices, yet Sokka restrained himself when Azula demanded it of him (chapter 36) and accepted the punishment Kuan forced on him without further protest or causing any more trouble for Azula.

Looked after her when she was sick, no matter if she was really mad at him at the time (White Lotus Attack arc).

Cheered her up after the first ball in the Festivals, after listening to her personal plight with Admiral Zhao (chapter 94)

Offered to teach basic swordsmanship to a kid so that the kid’s father would be on good terms with Azula, helping her craft stronger political allies (chapter 133).

Defends Azula constantly before anyone who may try to undermine or insult her (outright punched Zuko for saying thoughtless things about his sister in chapter 64, lashed out at Iroh for talking shit about her in chapter 95, attacked Rhone as soon as he spoke against Azula in 114 and threatened him in 160).

Comforts her often whenever she’s troubled, especially in matters pertaining her parents and the unpleasant strife they’ve caused her, both in the past and in current times (Ember Island arc, The Fire Nation Festivals arc, The Fire Lord’s Shadow arc). He’s also not judgmental, doesn’t tell her what to think, he mainly listens and helps her deal with her conflicted feelings.

Gladly agrees to change their original deal so he can stay with Azula for good instead of returning to his family, as he intended (chapter 107, Whaletail Island arc).

CRAFTED A BETROTHAL NECKLACE FOR HER??? :’) (chapter 131)

MARRIED HER. TWICE (Return to Shu Jing arc). I mean... really. The very logic of marriage says it’s something absolutely special you don’t do with just ANYONE? And they certainly live by that logic, completely. That something so obviously unique to his relationship with her happened so recently and yet you still sent this ask is... weird to me. Very weird.

In a slightly more intimate note: Sokka has never slept through the night with anyone but Azula. He has never woken up with someone beside him other than Azula. She’s literally the only one he’s ever done that with, and the only one he ever wants to do it with. Started in chapter 64, has happened many, many times since.

Endeavors to become a better painter because she inspired him to keep trying. They’ll start making collaborative art together starting in chapter 201 :’) and in 221 they will make a veeeery special artwork that’s basically their masterpiece.

Climbed a volcano to find a flower to give to her as a token of everlasting love? (chapter 125) :’D

Nearly died at the hands of Jeong Jeong’s schemes all be it to stay loyal to Azula (also chapter 125).

Got her a Fire Lily in the Festivals, something no one else had ever done for her, cultural connotations of it demand I single this out because it’s a big deal in the Fire Nation, he’s never done that for anyone else and never will (chapter 146).

Constantly asks for her lychee wine, her favorite drink, whenever they go places. The fact that Azula’s heart seems to grow twenty sizes every time he goes out of his way to find her perfect drink should be pretty telling...?

Overworked himself to make her dragon’s perfect armor as a birthday gift for her (Azula’s birthday arc), then still managed to win a fight for her sake despite his body was in bad shape.

Told her being without her feels like sleepwalking through life, waiting until she’s around again so he can wake up and feel like himself once more (chapter 86).

Offered his services and support in helping in the fulfillment Azula’s dream of offering women in the Fire Nation bigger opportunities and roles to make a difference in the world, by training the Enforcers in swordsmanship (Whaletail Island arc).

Accompanied Azula throughout her investigation in The Fire Lord’s Shadow arc, offering her all the support he could in that endeavor, day and night if need be, no matter how dangerous things got he was always there with her.

Trusted Azula so much he allowed her to BEND THROUGH HIM :’) I can guarantee that there’s no way anyone else can do that with Sokka other than Azula.

Sneaks out of his house, or his cabin, to spend nights with her whenever they can afford to, seen all throughout Part 2.

Changed his entire worldview to understand hers, just as she changed hers to understand his. Developed genuine empathy with someone who should have been his enemy, and saw through her to understand her humanity, something NO ONE BUT HIM had done before, and something he’s certainly not willing to do for many people he started out hating, or that he hated at any point in time (literally seen all through the story).

So... 33 items not enough yet, I wonder? Then stick around. The last arcs of Part 2 pack more than a few punches and many unique Sokkla interactions and situations that MIGHT just serve for you to finally see that their bond is actually one of a kind? Despite I’m pretty sure the story that already has been published proves it completely already... but I guess you may have gone too long witthout reading it in full detail? Eh, whatever the reason may be, you can see for yourself there’s a ton of unique things Sokka and Azula have only done with each other.

#anon #long post #sorry #gladiator #just #*tosses this into the void*#and I'm dead sure #I forgot a ton of things #just by nature their bond is one of a kind #so excuse me if I'm too harsh #but #I can't see how this question is necessary at all

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mistaeq · 4 years

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Hi! Can I have a matchup for parts 1 and 3, please? I'm a 5'2'' black demiromantic bisexual genderfluid/non binary female (she/her pronouns) who is chubby with dark black braided hair, dark brown eyes, dimples and is nearsighted and wears glasses. Hobbies include playing video games, drawing, writing, reading manga and comics, watching anime and movies (mostly supernatural and horror), eating sweets and junk food in general.

Matchup

TW // depression references

Thank you for your request! Your description sounds like you're really beautiful and a funny, interesting person to be friends with! Hope you enjoy your matchup ^_^

Stardust Crusaders and Phantom Blood Matchup

WORD COUNT: 1.4k

My first matchup choice for you is...

Kakyoin Noriaki!

Oh boy. He's in love with your body, he dedicates entire mornings or even entire days to making you feel beautiful and special, covering you in kisses.

Kakyoin likes your braids, and deeply respects your culture. When one day Polnareff jokingly said that you could make the same braids on Noriaki's red lock of hair, your boyfriend got really upset.

When you least expect it, you might catch him staring at you, gently shoving a finger in a dimple of yours. He loves them, Noriaki says they make you look so cute he can't help touching those. If you're okay with it, obviously.

Not the type of man who steals your glasses to try them on. Out of curiosity, he once asked you to try them, but really only once.

As soon as he learns you like videogames, he might just pull his heart out of his chest and give it to you as a gift. He's always more convinced, everything of you looks like he's meant to be your boyfriend.

You often happen to forget about the time, when you're focused on winning against each other, holding the game controller and screaming. Jotaro hates you both. Playfully.

Noriaki has probably a whole collection of mangas. Not gonna guarantee every single one of those is... appropriate. But he also owns lots of famous and known appropriate manga series.

He enjoys reading them with you, and discuss about the differences between manga version and anime version of something.

Noriaki likes movies about supernatural stuff, he's interested in that. He tries to convince himself he likes horror movies for you, but if you happen to watch one together, he'll cling to you or hide under a blanket.

He's the ceo of eating junk food and sweets while playing videogames, watching movies and stuff. Noriaki looks like a healthy boy, but he just has a fast metabolism.

When you're with new people, for example when Kakyoin introduces you to the crusaders, don't be afraid of relying on him to help you. He understand how difficult it is, having been quite alone all his life.

Once you and the crusaders get to build a friendship, you become Jotaro's nightmare. Kakyoin, Polnareff and Joseph are always there to laugh and be weird with you. Avdol doesn't mind y'all's happiness, leaving Jotaro without someone to lean on to hate you.

If you don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning, don't force yourself and tell Noriaki the truth, he'll totally understand it and stay there with you.

Sometimes he's the one who has mornings when he doesn't feel like getting out of bed himself. He'll be laying on you to stop you from getting up, mumbling he only wants to stay with you and not talk to anyone.

Please make him happy even if you feel like living the day, otherwise he'll show you a neverending pout throughout the whole day.

Don't worry about what to wear around Kakyoin. He loves it when you wear a t-shirt and jeans, the same way he loves it when you wear a skirt, or a dress. He'll never be ashamed of your fashion choices, you're just perfect in his eyes.

The boy is quite romantic, so he's just the right one if you need a little romance. Also, Noriaki is kinda touch starved too, this is what leads to your neverending sessions of sleepy cuddles in the morning.

Just like you, Kakyoin doesn't stand out for being an impatient boy. But if he gets angry, he's quite scary, above all if the reason is someone who was annoying or hurting you.

He deeply cares about taking care of your insecurities, having been through it too. He questioned himself too much in the past, for he wasn't able to make friends. But he only suffered from it. Noriaki doesn't want this to happen to you.

If you know some foreign languages he doesn't know, he gets really excited in listening to you while you speak them or tell him something about them.

He doesn't compare you negatively to others, he doesn't even compare you to others, basically because he's not interested in the differences between you and someone else. You're just you, and that's what he loves.

My second matchup choice for you is...

Jonathan Joestar!

If you're okay with it, get ready to have your body covered in kisses and compliments, he's a deeply romantic boy and will never lose the chance of making you feel how special and beautiful you are for him.

Jonathan's eyes are as blue as a clear sky, and that's why your dark eyes are a thing he absolutely loves. He could spend hours staring at you, and he's expressive, might pour his heart out with a gaze.

He loves the way you look with your glasses, and he would probably gift you new glasses sooner or later, for your birthday. He has a soft spot for how you look with those.

Oh man. Oh man. Get ready for "Jonathan being brought into things he couldn't imagine he could really like".

There are so many activities he's never tried, and he's the cutest baby when he gets to try them with you and thanks to you. Videogames, for example.

Jonathan pouts a lot, when while teaching him how to play, you have no mercy on him and beat him to every game. You probably do it on purpose to see him like that, because he looks like a puppy.

Everytime he finds you drawing, he'll hug you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder and kissing your cheek, whispering you that you're so talented, he feels the luckiest man ever.

If you happen to write something you'd like to share with him, don't be afraid or ashamed of doing it. The young Joestar is your number one fan.

He'll watch horror movies with you, he doesn't mind them, after everything he went through. Just know he might flinch with jumpscares. Like a lot. Last time he moved the couch from its location.

To make you proud of him, he'll read a couple mangas too, but he'll admit he has't understood a think. He read those from left to right.

Jonathan is a gentleman, but deep down he loves junk food. He says he needs it, if he wants something tasty to feed his muscles.

If he knows you're about to meet someone you don't know, he makes sure he previously tells you some information on them, just so you feel a little bit more comfortable with being introduced to them.

He sometimes looks - has to look - so chill that your dorky and goofy behavior gives him life. As already seen before, Jonathan is not perfect and strict on his gentleman behavior. He'll just let you carry him with you.

You can be clingy with him in public, he doesn't mind it, maybe he even enjoys it, so everyone sees how happy you two are.

Mornings when you don't feel like getting out of bed, well, just get ready to be spoilt, because he's gonna bring you breakfast in bed.

Jonathan will never force you to wear skirts or dresses. If he wears something elegant, he doesn't feel like he should tell you to do it, too. You'll do it if you feel like it, he cherishes you anyway.

You won't have time, to feel touch starved or insecure. He's affectionate, and every - long - cuddling session becomes a list of every single detail he likes of you.

If you happen to tell Jonathan about your daydreaming, he'll get it seriously and promises he'll manage to make every single dream of yours come true. From the easiest to the most bizarre.

He doesn't really know many other languages apart from english. He once tried with french to sound more like a gentleman, but he gave up after not even a week, that's why he admires your passion for foreign languages.

Jonathan is a dog person, but after everything that happened with Danny, he'll be down to get a cat with you. It'll be useful to warm your bellies in winter when it'll come to rest on you, loudly meowing.

He compares you to other people, sometimes too much, but always in a positive way, as if he wanted to show of what a beautiful angel he loves.

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo matchup #jojo headcanons #jojo part one #phantom blood #jojo part three #stardust crusaders #jonathan joestar #jonathan x reader #kakyoin noriaki #kakyoin x reader

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yournewapartment · 6 years

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Need help on this topic, im so lost.. I'm 20, female and have NEVER had a romantic relationship of any kind. I blame living in the country and lack of a dating pool. But I would like to try and find someone.. I want a relationship thats aimed toward marriage, but I don't know if I'm ready or how to start or if I'm actually attracted to anyone which scares me. I know girls don't turn me on but I'm not even sure if guys do and if I can't love or feel for anyone I'm scare of being alone forever

I know it’s frustrating, but try to remember- there is no set schedule for meeting someone, falling in love, and getting married. You have so much time! I know it might not seem like that right now, but I promise that that special someone is out there waiting for you. You’ll meet them when the time is right. And please remember, you don’t have to decide who/what that person is right now. Just feel it out as you go along, and listen to what feels right.

I’ve combined three posts for you. Advice on finding someone, dating someone, and then having sex with said person (if you so choose).

I hope you find this helpful! Hit me up with any specific questions.

Finding That “Special Someone(s)”

1. The first step is deciding what you’re looking for in a relationship. It’s best to be as specific as possible, while knowing that you can always adjust with time. One of the things you need to be definitive about is whether you’re looking for a committed relationship or not. No judgment either way, but you need to know what makes you comfortable. Some other things to consider:

Monogamy or Polyamory

To sex or not to sex

Are you willing to LDR?

What sort of activities are you looking to do with this person? Hiking, gaming, exploring, etc.

Does age matter to you?

2. Once you know what you’re looking for, start looking for people who fit that criteria. This might seem like an obvious notion, but really, so many people form unrealistic expectations with people/persons who don’t fit their ideal. I’m not saying that they need to be 100% what you’re looking for. Nobody will be! But if you’re looking for a committed relationship and get involved with someone who is not ready to settle down, you can’t expect them to suddenly come around to your way of thinking. Start off with someone on the same page as you.

3. How do you meet such a person? Use your environment! You’re around so many people all day, people who may not be of interest to you, but people who know people. Find out if your friends know anyone who fits your picture. Friends are a great way to meet people. Also, hate to say it, but go to parties! Go to parties with you friends and socialize. Is there someone cute in your Physics class? Find out if she wants to go over homework with you at the campus cafe.

4. I also recommend frequenting places that you enjoy, and scoping out potential cuties. If you like to read, hang out at Barnes and Nobles to find a guy who likes to read. If you like hiking, join an outdoor adventure group. Feed your soul, while on The Hunt.

5. I highly recommend befriending any person you’re interested in. Put yourself in social situations with this person, to see if you’re socially compatible. We all know people who are sexy as all fuck but share nothing in common with us. Start with the shared experiences and work from there, I guarantee you that this method creates better and longer lasting relationships.

Dating Tips

1. Figure out what you’re looking for in a partner. There are lots of fish in the sea, and every one is different! You may be attracted to someone but not sexually or socially compatible with them. If you know exactly what you’re looking for, you may find it easier to zero in on the person(s) that interest you the most. Remember that you can always and should always adjust your wants/needs as time goes on.

Here are some ideas to get you started, but this is by no means a complete list:

Are you ready to commit to certain relationships? Or are you in the mood to explore different people with no particular ties?

Are you interested in one person? Or multiple people?

Are you interested in sex?

Are you bold and looking for someone to get out of your comfort zone with? Or are you confident and happy with where you are sexually? Or a mixture of the two?

2. Choose your “perfect date” ahead of time. I’m not a super spontaneous person, and I envy those that are. But I feel much less anxious when I already have a date planned in my head. Plans can always be adjusted, but I like to have a plan. In my mind, the “perfect date” has three parts…

One: The shared activity. Start your date off with an activity for you to do as a couple. Something public like a movie or a visit to a museum or hiking. While this may not seem super romantic to you, this is a great way to bond in a non-sexual way. And a public venue and a pre-determined activity takes some of that anxious pressure off. You don’t have to talk a lot (if at all). Keep it light!

Two: Dinner. This takes a bit of research. Find out if your intended is an adventurous eater or if they have any food preferences. I like to experience new things, and I want to be with a person who is open to that. So I think this meal should be something new and exciting. Possibly food from a different culture that they’ve never tried, or else something gastro and experimental. But not too expensive. Stay under $50 for this first date. And TIP!!

Three: Romance. Now is the time for you to spend some one-on-one time together, if you’re both feeling it. You could invite them back to your place, or take a romantic walk in the park if you’re not ready. But somewhere semi-private where you can have a deep conversation and really get to know each other.

And that’s it! Rinse and repeat!

3. Please ignore any societal notions you ever had about communication. Text or call whenever you want to! If you really like them, do it right away. If someone is really put off by how quickly you contacted them after a date, then they are not for you.

4. Be open about your experiences. If you’re a virgin or haven’t dated before, tell the other person. If they really like you, they’ll remember that these are life experiences that everyone develops at different times and they won’t care. Don’t be with someone who thinks that inexperience is a bad thing. Everyone is different!

5. There is no timeline for when you should sleep with a person. Well, actually there is, but it’s called “your personal judgment”. The same goes for any oral sex you may or may not want to have. If she eats you out, you’re not required to do the same to her. If he gives you a rim job and then she licks your balls, you’re not required to suck his dick or her tits.

6. Safe sex is so important! Please use condoms or some form of birth control. Some STDs will stay with you for life, and not everyone is honest about them. I’d also suggest that if you are getting serious with someone, that both of you get checked out by a doctor. Your health insurance should cover a yearly visit!

7. Please use caution before sending anyone naughty pictures of yourself. Just Skype them and do some naughty cam stuff.

8. Remember that fights are totally natural. Fighting every day is not, but occasional fights are bound to happen. It’s so important to talk through problems! Don’t keep them bottled up and festering inside, if you can’t be honest about how you feel then why are you with them? Compromise when you can but stay true to yourself. A couple is a unit, but it’s the individuals that make it successful.

9. Go traveling and vacationing together. People are often at their most anxious when traveling, and I would absolutely recommend that you spend some time together to see if you can work through the stress. Also, if you’re going to move in with someone spend some time living with them first. Before my boyfriend and I moved in together, I spent two nights out of the week living at his parent’s house and he spent one night living at mine.

10. During the first few months of dating or being with someone, you’ll probably want to spend all your free time with them. Think “Glue” by the Velvet Underground. Spend that time with them, but stay true to what makes you passionate. Keep painting, running, cooking, whatever.

General Sex Tips

1. I would highly recommend that you spend some time “getting to know yourself” before having sex. Feel around down there, see what feels good and what doesn’t. See if you can get yourself turned on. The more experience you have knowing what works for you, the better you’ll be able to communicate with your partner or partners and have an enjoyable experience.

2. If you have a vagina, odds are that your first time having sex is going to be slightly painful. This is totally natural, and will go away as time goes by. But be prepared to be upfront with your partner and to ask them to go slowly or use more lube if things do start hurting.

3. Condoms! There are many different kinds (ribbed, flavored, hot and cold). Magnum are large condoms, so if you are buying condoms and don’t have a monster dick, you probably should not use them. An ill-fitting condom is an ineffective condom! Also make sure to always store condoms correctly and to throw them out after their expiration date. Only one condom at a time folks, wearing two condoms is not twice as protective. They’re more likely to rip.

4. If you have a vagina, you should be peeing and/or showering immediately after sex to prevent UTIs. These are no joke! They are extremely painful infections that cause you to pee blood. Always pee after sex. Pee twice. People with penises can also get UTIs, but it’s far harder.

5. Did you know that only 25% of people with vaginas can have vaginal orgasms? So if you can’t, don’t stress! There are all sorts of different orgasms to be had, and they are all equally amazing. If you’re not cumming, you’re not being stimulated properly. Try a new position, a new technique, try having your partner or partners stimulate you in a different area. The page I linked above is a bit gender specific, but it has really useful information, so please ignore these terms.

6. Foreplay is so important! Vaginas take an average of 20 minutes to get properly revved up and horny. The reason you’re “dry” down there is because you’re not properly stimulated. You can always use lube in a pinch or ask your partner to go down on you, but you’ll find that sex is easier and more enjoyable when you are literally “wet down there”.

7. Period sex. Oh how I love period sex. Vaginas are at their most sensitive during this part of the cycle, so achieving an orgasm can be easier. If you’re going to have period sex, throw a towel down first. Blood comes out super easily in the wash, you don’t have to do anything special to the cloth to get it clean. You will probably want to shower afterwards!

8. Communication is key. You cannot just lie back and think of England and hope that you’ll achieve a magical orgasm. It’s not like that. What turns your partner or partners on may not turn you on. This is absolutely fine! You may not even want to cum or be able to cum during your first time having sex, and this is fine too. Tell them what works and what doesn’t and be AS SPECIFIC AS POSSIBLE.

9. On a similar note, you are not obligated to do anything to anybody else or to yourself that you are not comfortable with. You do not need to give blowjobs or hand jobs or even have sex with someone if you aren’t 100% into it. If someone is pressuring you and thinks that sex equates a happy relationship, then I would advise you to ditch them and get on with your life.

10. Protection! Please use protection. Whether this is condoms, birth control, an IUD, whatever. The pull out method does not work. I am a product of the pull out method. Not everyone with a penis has precum, but many do. Don’t take the chance! I am on birth control and I love it, but that’s a whole different post.

11. Dildos come in all different shapes and sizes. You can get ones that are smaller and thinner than actual penises and ones that are comically large. Make sure to use lube! Wash them with dish soap in your sink and leave to dry. Some dildos that are “hyper realistic” come with a powder that you have to put on them. These are incredible dildos, I highly recommend them. They feel so life like!

12. Edible underwear does not taste all that good. Neither do flavored condoms.

13. Black sheets or black blankets and sex are not a good mix. You will see cum stains. They wash out super easily, you don’t need to do anything special to clean them. Just keep them out of sight when your friends and Aunt Kathy come over.

14. If you start having sex and decide that you want to stop having sex then please tell your partner and stop. You are not obligated to keep going if you feel uncomfortable. Your body = your choice.

15. If you have a vagina then you will want to make an OBGYN appointment shortly after you start having sex. These are vagina doctors and they can check your vagina out to make sure that everything is okay. You should probably get your vagina checked out often if you have multiple partners. If you are in a relationship with one person and use protection, then once a year is fine.

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