#ITS SO HARD TO DO BC I'M A PERFECTIONIST BUT I NEED TO DO IT REGARDLESS

[starheirxero]

i NEED to get weirded about tsams. i need to draw it with more weirdly religious themes. i need to draw it with more grief. i need to draw it with more wires and machinery. i need to incite the feeling of bright angels and the unfathomable divine. i need to incite the feeling of sand between your fingers and a heavy weight in your heart. i need to incite the feeling of fragility and looking at something you're not truly supposed to see. i NEED TO GET WEIRDER ABOUT THIS SHOW!!!!!

#xero says things #ITS SO HARD TO DO BC I'M A PERFECTIONIST BUT I NEED TO DO IT REGARDLESS #I NEED TO BE LESS SCARED OF BEING WEIRD 'BADLY' SO I CAN EVOLVE INTO THE KIND OF WEIRD I STRIVE TO BE #the path to drawing a tarot card-esque picture of lord eclipse wrapped around a praying (and crying) sunvant is first drawing weird shapes- #-and bad anatomy. the path to drawing solar missing his sun is first drawing awkward poses and slightly off expressions. the path to- #-drawing lunar with all their internals exposed is first drawing kinda boring oversimplified wires and components. #i WILL learn and i WILL get weirder. amen

[plutokoo]

Maybe a bit weird but yandere big bad wolf jk and small sheep oc/yn?

pairing : yandere wolf jk x fem sheep hybrid reader

genre : smut, yandere

A/N : a quick smutty drabble rn because I'm writing a one shot for it and it's halfway done. I just need to do a quick dump bcs the one shot is kinda long and it's making me hit writers block 😭😭😭😭. this might not be the best tbh but I promise the one shot will be way better.

yandere wolf jk who's a perfectionist at uni never missing a class, always has a 4.0 GPA and never failed to made it in to the deans list.

and then one day he saw you, barging in to the class late mumbling sorry and sitting right in front of him,your scent covering his nose almost instantly,his ears tensing up as he grumble mate slightly under his breath.

he reached for you after class finished, hands grabbing your arm tightly, he leaned his face in, a wolfish grinned adorning his face as he greeted you

you who was timid,fearful and easily panicked,breathed out your name gently hands shaking from the sudden interaction. you can't help it of course it's in your nature to act that way :(

before he could ask you about how he's never seen you in the class before, you snatched your arms from him, legs stuttering to get out of the room as fast as you can, his scent was overwhelming, making your thoughts go hazy from fear.

jungkook frowned as your figure scrambled out, hands forming a fist as he make a silently vow to himself to get you again.

he met you again next on the campus hallway, hands barely holding on to the thick text books you carried as you sauntered around,trying to get into the professor office before bumping against some jock, your knees crashing on the hard tiles as the books fell from your grasp, gasp leaving your lips from the pain. the hallway turned silent, people watching you trying to gather books, you wanted to wailed from the attention you're receiving, your knees ached from the impact,blood oozing out from the cuts it received

jungkook immediately rushed up to you, shooing people away as he kneeled down, his hands quickly collect the books as he helped you stand up. he cooed at the fat tears that was sliding down your face, "its okay baby you're okay they're gone know" he fussed wiping your tears away

you sobbed,wiping your face at the sleeve of your sweater, the nickname he gave you went unnoticed as he continued to caressed your face.

"let me help you bring these and then we'll go to the infirmary to take care of your knees, okay?" he offered not giving you time to answer before he grabbed your hands,his other hand holding the books easily as he sauntered to the office

after that it was easy for jungkook to make you his,everyday he would take you out for coffee,sit beside you in class, and helped doing your assignments. he'd pamper you endlessly, slowly convincing you to sleep at his place instead because it was too dangerous for you to sleep alone and you who was dumb,naive and gullible believed everything he said.

he'd make you move to his apartment too, because it's such a hassle for his baby to be going back and forth at all and he doesn't like the thought of you being all alone so please move in with me baby, I don't like being apart from you :((((

jungkook Hates when you start talking or making friends with other people because you're his and only his to have, it's not hard to make you stop talking to these people of course, your timid nature making it easy for him to remove people from your life.

he'd tell you everyday, gaslighting you into thinking about how your friends view you as an easy target and how you will always be a Second choice to them, how you would easily get stampede if you keep hanging around with people other than him.

you'd believed everything he said, the thought of leaving the home you thought as a safe place become more and more distasteful making you switch all your classes to online instead, which ofcourse was jungkooks Idea.

jungkook loves to fuck you, he loves rubbing your wet pussy through your panties while you're sleeping, hips unconsciously humped against his hands as moans left your lips,his hands would move the panties sideways, thumbs slowly rubbing your clit, drawing 8 figures on it making you reach your qlimax, soft pants leaving your lips.

he'd fuck you on top of the kitchen counter, your front leaning on it, clit grazing against the counters corner everytime he thrust forward. cold marble pressing against your chest as jungkook pulled your hair back, his hand reaching down to pinch your nipple making you squeeze more around his cock

"aah...aah ple..please" you mewl hands rubbing your clit, desperate to reach your orgasm. jungkook grunts, his hands smacked you ass,groaning as he watched it jiggle "please what slut", he rasped hips bucking faster as he leaned down, lips sucking your necks making your eyes rolled back from the pleasure

"uh...ugh...cum please" you cried out, jungkook reached down hands smacking your pussy as he yanked your hair back "fuck..baby..cum" he choked, you wailed as you squirt against him,body trembling, eyes rolling back as your pussy pulsate againts his cock. "fuck fuck fuck" jungkook sobbed out as he reached his climax, filling your hole with so much cream it drips out.

he pulled out,wincing slightly before plugging his hand up your hole, preventing his cum from dripping down your hole "can't let this go to waste hm".

jungkook loves it when you got your heat he'd fuck you on every surface in the house. he'd fuck you on the couch when the movie's still playing,on the bathtub while letting the shower jet hits your clit , on the floor where he'd fuck you so hard you could barely from a sentence.

jungkook loves you so much he'd kill for you. he would easily get rid of anyone that he thinks might be a threat to your relationship.

he'd do anything for you as long as you don't leave his side,so don't even try to think about doing it it okay?.

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader #jungkook #bts fic #bts #jungkook drabble #jungkook x y/n #jungkook hybrid au #jeon jungkook x you #yandere jungkook #jungkook yandere #yandere!bts #yandere!jungkook #yandere bts #male yandere #x reader #jungkook imagine #bts x reader #bts x you #jungkook x female reader #jungkook x oc #jungkook smut #bts smut #bts x y/n #bts x oc #jungkook bts #bangtan #jungkook fic recs #jungkook fic

[key2earth]

hi hello & happy happy opening! i'm blue & this is xie ziying, local night terror edward cullen haunting the halls of sua! art student, red hall girl gang stan, & proud owner of a pretty pair of pearly whites that she's putting to dentist unrecommended use outside of regular class hours! here's a barebones profile & more info / plots under the cut, pls like to plot or ask for my d/scord & i’ll be there! 💗

*tw for discussion of blood is marked out in the intro with brackets!

info

addressing these first: her teeth r sharp & she drinks blood... the vamp allegations r true. ( /hj. u will see )

anyway!! she mostly lived a fairly normal life, insofar as having 3 outta 4 ( now 2 out of 3 ) of a family being anomalies would be normal? has a big bro in huitian but their abilities are as different as they come, so the anomaly gene sure is abnormal!

she's always been the black sheep of the family, but only in the way that someone who's unconditionally loved can act out? like deciding to play the violin when you come from a family of pianists, before abandoning that all together, & being the sibling whose teachers keep calling... but the point is. she's grown up being loved by her family, & that sense of self & safe harbour has pretty much tided her through what would otherwise have been some awful memories

those & her chompers it's hard to fight someone if they're willing 2 mike tyson u

speaking of teeth... they're sharp i'm not kidding! has nicked herself many times, but this was also how she figured out how her ability works. pure trial & error & teething pains

so how do those powers work? ( tw blood mention ) basically, a lil sip of blood gives her a power up! if it's her own blood, she gets physically stronger with enhanced condition. if that sip comes from someone else, she adopts/transforms into one property from them, though she doesn't get to choose which! ( tw end )

she's completely fine with her ability & down to use it when needed or entirely unnecessary, though the fact that the fun half of her power is a random grab bag is sometimes to her detriment. she knows this because she's gotten someone's sleep deprived mental state once when she wanted their cool colour-changing irises 💔

at sua bc they had really effective advertising & her grades + power combination was bad enough that she was applying to any college that might take her in. swears she didn't mean to tag along w huitian but she did apply to sua... so...

art student, which means being on her sixth can of bacchus at ass o clock & permanent eyebags, having the worst style intentionally & calling it avant goth

applied to be evo's treasurer but doesn't believe in 'the cause' or wtv that is. she j wanted to mooch money off them. its working!!

personality deets she's got that libra sun ( i see it i like it ) taurus moon ( i want it i got it ) scorpio rising ( goth ariana )! we're starting off goth, but she's unsrs about it. only emo 4 the aesthetics. might be a stoner gal & attends all the house parties when they have good greens. very chill & laidback, lowkey doesn't care about anything until it comes to her art or her ego, then her secret perfectionist self rears its big head! likes a good puzzle but would never help someone else solve one even if they were struggling. lives mostly in the twilight hours & naps thru class. could be spotted on your roof today!

chara inspos are sunny baudelaire, himiko toga if she had a loving family, vampire vibes really

plots

writing that intro has emptied my brain & i only have the usual suspects: besties, enemies, fwbs, exes! red hall hot girls & ppl she's pissing off at evo bc the funds keep disappearing

will update more but i love a brainstorm too we should do that 💗

#nm:intro #⌜𝘚𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘖𝘞𝘕⌟ ☼ ⋰ ziying.

[zeltqz]

I felt this needed to be sent as an ask. I know it's one of the hardest things to do (writing when your motivation is weighing) but you have to try your best NOT to listen to them (those who keep asking for updates with no consideration of what it's like for the author). Pressure ain't doing nothing but motivating negativity. I know the guilt, I've been there. At the end of the day I gave what I could and the fic ended up being discontinued a month ago. I permanently quit writing because I felt it was so overwhelming and stressful despite being something I absolutely love doing, I just couldn't take knowing people waited for my updates, I was disappointing them and that disappointed me. Talk about depression. Writers depression is very real. So eventually I unpublished my wattpad fics, deleted all my Tumblr fics, and stayed a silent reader, I wrote short poems or small works here and there for my private instagram, just whenever I felt like it. I honestly thought it was permanent. Until a friend of mine started writing which sparked my interest in it again. So I restarted my blog a couple days ago. Gave thought to what it was I wanna write and how I want this blog to be different. Atm I'm barely writing, I started 3 fics last week yet they remain in my drafts untouched with no further progress. But I can honestly say the nonchalance and freedom I have is quite nice, I try to write here and again. Or even if a single sentence or dialogue comes to mind I note it down, that gave life to another sentence and another and another until I put it together and it formed about a decent paragraph.. I'M RAMBLING. I lost track of what I was supposed to say. I don't even know the main point of this story. Forgive me. But seriously, the best advice I can give is to unburden yourself before you drown. Literally. Write what you want when you can, your wips, don't delete them!! I promise you some time later you'll definitely be inspired for them again. And when u do you'll be able to literally write more for it!! I have an idea from 2 yrs ago and it's pretty decent, with some editing it could be even better. So please don't delete them 😭😭 and don't let people push you to update. You can if you can and You can't if you can't!!! I'm here if you need any help 🙏🏻 I noticed that talking about your writing with someone who reciprocates your energy can ignite a full on passionate conversation that will lead to creating quality work!! Like new ideas or even roots to go for old works.. It's a good way to keep the motivation flowing when you're running thin 🤍🤍🤍

this is honestly the sweetest piece of advice soeone ever gave me. its so detailed and relatable too because i used to be a wattpad writer back in 2021 and then ppl kept on asking for update update update and it was so stressful so I just logged out of the account and to this day i havent logged back in 😭😭

as someone who used to be a silent reader i understand the frustration of needing an update. dont get me wrong i understand. i used to feel that exact way because fics were my only source of happiness at one point in my life when everything was shitty. but now im actually writing them, i know why some writers dont want to update so fast because its so much pressure when theres 5-6 ppl in ur inbox asking for update update update

ik how hard it is to finish a story but also how desperate it can get for the readers waiting for said update. which is the reason im constantly trying to keep writing but now i feel like i just cant. im such a perfectionist i dont post anything i dont feel is my best but rn i feel like none of my works are and its making me slack a lot and i feel like if i dont stop feeling this way then i might stop writing as a whole because its making me frustrated

writing genuinely makes me happy bc i feel like its an escape from reality (which i desperately need bc i hate my life) but i cant write good enough which is making me annoyed because i need that reality escape sooooo bad

and the reason i asked yesterday which fics of mine were peoples favourites, most of them were the series that i had deleted from my page because i reread them and hated it so bad. now im rewriting it but with this lack of motivation its one of the hardest things ive had to do in a while

and i barely talk to ppl about my fics because idk i barely recieve comments about them except for PT 2 PLS. like as much as i would LOVE to write part 2 3 4 5 6 7 etc its not motivating enough since i dont have anyone motivating me to write.

ugh this is a lot i dont except anyone to read this but THANKS FOR THE ASK <3

#why do i love to add unnecessary problems to my life #then dedicate myself to solve them #then get sad when i fail #but im too deep in to just give up #i dont wanna deactivate either that solves nothing and itd make me sad #UGH

[wheelcr]

hi flora! i loveeee your new theme! it's so so pretty and u did so well on the icon ^ anyways i wanted to ask for like, more info of finn in ur actress dr?? im so smitten for finn ajsnsa and i just wanted to know more abt him

- 🏩 nonnie

ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑. ✧ ˚ ༘ ゛

hiii there my pretty pretty nonie! tysm i'm so so happy you like it darl <3 and ofc!! i love talking about finn obv i'm smitten for him too [ dreamy sigh ] i think i also received an ask about finn from @timotheesl0ve but accidentally deleted it and forgot about it so :/ this post might be a lil diff from my other ones ^^ includes some text msgs and scenarios from my dr

♡. okay, jesus, where do i even begin?? finn is a tall, lanky, chaotic, super loud, force of nature

when i first met him, he was kinda awkward— like fidgeting and stuff, stuttered out a "hey, i'm finn" "oh i know" "oh.. well then" was not really how i wanted to kick off our friendship

♡. once he warms up enough, he's super goofy and playful. also really sweet!! :c he told me i looked pretty and that he was a huge fan of my show, and i never blushed as hard as i did that afternoon i swear

and the thing about him, he knows damn well what he's doing. the tiny smirk that crept up on his face when he saw my cheeks redden definitely told me so

♡. whatever confidence and charm he has in real life is totally amplified at work! i wouldn't say that finn is a perfectionist, because there are definitely a shit ton of moments where he's lazy and chill, but when he does something, he puts his whole finn - ussy into it yk what i mean?? you can tell that he really enjoys what he does and works hard for it, and it pays off bc the shit he makes turns out so so so good!!

♡. one thing i like about finn is that he's honest, makes it so much easier to communicate tbh ^^ he's straight up about everything, doesn't like to beat around the bush he's super genuine and sincere and i find it so akaioqjdjwfujd he's so perfect :ccc

♡. adding to the last one, he's also sometimes too honest.. like in a spontaneous oversharing kinda way...

bambi 😼💤 [ 11 : 25 ] — flor flora florie floorwax

🥓 sunshine. [ 11 : 28 ] — what do you wajt its 11pm finn

bambi 😼💤 [ 11 : 29 ] — bird outside my window c:

bambi 😼💤 [ 11 : 29 ] — also i really need to pee

🥓 sunshine. [ 11 : 32 ] — good for oyu wolfhard

🥓 sunshine. [ 11 : 32 ] — goodnight.

♡. love love loves!! vintage aesthetics! when discussing movie night in our gc he has to suggest at least one old chick flick. has tons and tons of playlists just filled with 80s music. also loves taking polaroids and low quality videos with like the grain that makes it look super old

^^ which is why finn was super hyped about the take on me cover he did with calpurnia. wouldn't stop talking my ear off about it for weeks and i honestly didn't mind. the dreamy look in his doe eyes when he talks about something he's passionate about is to die for

♡. super touch starved. doesn't initiate anything super touchy - feely at first but trust me, he enjoys it very much. he loves having his hand held. says it makes him feel grounded and safe. also loves when people play with his hair!! isn't afraid to ask for affection but will bite me if i question it

"lili can you play with my hair?" he mumbled once, face smushed into one of my velvet cushions

me being me, i just couldn't pass the opportunity for at least a little bit of teasing over my friend's little request "awww, puppy wants pets? you need me to play with your hair hmmm?"

"..." "..haha, do you still want—" "good fucking bye >:c" i almost died from laughter watching his tall figure retreating to my kitchen to eat all my banana bread as payback

♡. moody moody boy. one moment he's bouncing off the walls and joking around and having the time of his life, then he reads one hate comment or remembers something that he didn't want to remember and his mood goes super duper sour :c

like if he's upset he won't be rude or snappy but he'll definitely be super quiet and really really dry. ( his annoyed voice is kinda h— ) if he's upset by something someone did, he's not one for confrontation at first, but he's gonna make so many jabs and sarcastic remarks

♡. super sentimental lil man. he loves to take pictures and short clips, and basically document everything going on 'just for the sake of it'. i think this mainly comes from the fact that our friend group consists of a lot of vloggers. finn likes keeping memories stored in a safe place where he can edit them and make them look all pretty just for him and his friends to look back on and laugh, and i find it so so endearing

♡. okay but like despite the whole mysterious, almost like untouchable kinda aura he emits because of his thick lashes and half - lidded eyes, he's just a boy. a boy who still makes 'your mom' jokes and finds farting funny. a boy who completely bursts my eardrums with a rickroll everytime he joins discord vc. a boy who went skating with me down the street while yelling "THEY SEE ME ROLLING—" and i love him so much. he's my best friend <3

#⠀💭 ۫⠀love letters.⠀୨୧⠀· ˚ 𓈒 #🏩 — nonnie ♡︎ #꒰⠀file : actress dr⠀꒱ #bambi! #might make a part 2 because i love talking about finn smsm hes so great #( and so handsome ) #shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #shiftblr #finn wolfhard x reader #finn wolfhard #storytimes.

[forlorn-crows]

hey! i'm really not a writer but i have to take a class on it next year and i'm really scared by it, so i'm trying to get opinions and whatnot from people who do write. (that's why you might see this ask in a lot of authors' inboxes heh) i'm wondering if there's anything that helps you get in the mood to write, if there's anything that causes/makes worse a writer's block, if you find it easier to write when given a prompt or if you prefer to make things up completely, if you prefer writing a story or more of an essay, how long does it take you to finish something and how do you know it's finished? and i know a lot of these could be answered with "it depends" but please avoid saying that if you can! thank you for helping me!

there's two perspectives i have here: one is writing in the context of college courses, and two is writing for pleasure.

when i wrote essays in college, i would always need a quiet place to go, or a place where conversations wouldn't be distracting. the 3rd floor of the library. a study cubby. starbucks at 4pm. but i would ALWAYS have instrumental music in my headphones. lofi. writing music playlists on youtube. classical. whatever made me feel 'scholarly' and didn't have words. that was my go to. and i think doing that same routine, getting my little drinks and always AFTER i had eaten was key to at least having some semblance of motivation to get my shit done. cause i had to write a LOT. all the time. different lengths of things too; 500 words to full length papers.

with school, the motivation was "i have to get it done by x date". and im a perfectionist, so it took me a looooong time to write the hard stuff. especially since i had to research as well. loooong time to gather sources before i actually did any writing, loooong time sorting and culling those sources, looooong time stringing them together to make them 'perfect'. i self inflict a lot of struggle, but thats how my brain functions to get the outcomes i did (and the grades I did).

I did do some creative writing in college, mostly poetry. for that, there were certainly deadlines motivating me, but the projects got my creative side flowing a bit more. often times, i would have to stop to jot something down while i was going about my day, because i knew i would forget it later. but, a lot of the same things can be said about my college creative writing; i slaved over the things until they were perfect, until they finally looked 'right' to me. and that takes a lot of time, personally. i hated procrastinating but sometimes you really do write better under pressure.

in school, i needed clear cut prompts/requirements for my long form work. i couldn't function without them, because i always outlined like crazy. it helped organize and cull my crazy thoughts.

now, with personal writing (which i 99% fanfiction currently), it can be hit or miss. sometimes, i need someone else's ideas to get me going. other times, im plagued by horny visions during work and i have to jot them down in my phone until i can write them out later. and sometimes i lose motivation by then, which sucks.

sometimes, it takes me a long time to finish stories. whether that be due to length, or simply because i took my time writing it little by little. I can crank out a full length fic in 2 days if im really feeling it, or it make take an entire week to write 1k words. it just depends on how into writing and into the idea i am.

lately, i have to go with whatever sparks my interest in order to write. i find its no fun to try and force yourself to write for pleasure, bc it just becomes a chore then. writing as a hobby is supposed to be fun, it is not supposed to consume you (wise words that crow does not follow a lot of times).

my advice for school is to keep track of your deadlines. start earlier than you need to for big projects, especially if you have an idea you really want to role with. dont be afraid to brainstorm with your teachers, they're your resource for stuff like that. they can help steer you in the right direction if you're stuck. carve out time to write and double down on it. take breaks when you need to, of course, but try to stay on task whenever possible.

my advice for personal writing is DO NOT FORCE IT. if you get inspired by something, and feel the need to write, and you can write at that moment, do it. those words will come like no other. second best thing is to write it down to visit later. i also think its important to remember you do not have to write every idea you ever think of, even if its a really good idea! its okay to have ideas that you dont do anything with.

overall advice, dont feel like you have to edit as you go. if you're unsure of your skills as a writer, just get down the ideas onto paper. thats the first step. write it how you might tell a story to a friend. all the fancy word choice and formatting can be done later. and know that you dont have to be the most seasoned writer to be a good writer. skills take time to develop. and the class may be boring at times. but its to help you learn, so dont fret! its okay to be scared at first.

let me know if you have any other questions, i have a lot under my belt, believe me!

#ask #anon #writing advice

[dhampiravidi]

hot take: I relate to Carmy Berzatto in S2 of The Bear

putting this under a read more bc of the topic (mentioned in tags):

so The Bear wasn't my favorite in S1, but S2 is very well-written, especially when it comes to its portrayal of mental illness(es). I want to start by saying that ofc not everyone experiences the same mental illness the same way. But I really relate to Carmy, so much that it hurts. I realized that I related to him when it's the focus group scene--he says something akin to, "I try to act like there won't be another shoe to drop, but there always is." Then, there's the whole X-Mas episode. And finally, the day the restaurant opens.

I have generalized anxiety, clinical depression & mild C-PTSD. Here's how I viewed the aforementioned scenes:

Focus Group: let me start by saying I've never been to group therapy (& I don't think I will; I just prefer 1-on-1). Still, I talk to myself a lot, which allows me to confront most of my inner feelings/thoughts. Anyway, it was a sad thing to realize that, over the years, I, too, have stopped believing that I have time to enjoy good moments...because there's always some new shit, some new problem to deal with.

X-Mas: if I had to be in a real-life situation similar to that episode, I'd definitely have an anxiety issue (I say "issue" to differentiate from a panic/anxiety attack). I'm a perfectionist who cares about pleasing people, even if I dislike said people. So to see Carmy in such a stressful place where nowhere is quiet enough to relax...that was hard. I desperately wanted the mom to get some mental help while someone else ordered in. I wanted Bob Odenkirk/Uncle Lee to shut up because to me, Jon Bernthal/Michael seemed to be both depressed and developing anger issues. I wanted to tell Abby Elliot/Natalie that she doesn't need to worry about her mom. & then the whole time I'm hoping that Carmy doesn't have some kind of a breakdown or anxiety issue, because then everyone will fuss over him to the point of starting a fight.

Opening Day: I knew the moment Claire was introduced that she was going to be the third point in a Claire-Carmy-Syd love triangle, one where Carmy ultimately has to choose between taking time off to cultivate his own happiness (something he doesn't do) & making sure that the restaurant is a success. I was glad that, overall, the opening night was awesome. But 1) I was scared for Carmy because apparently you can die within a couple of hours in a walk-in if you aren't careful, and 2) they had Claire be the one to hear his self-destructive rant. I'm not mad at him for ranting. He's a mentally ill/depressed person who works in an unforgiving industry. Despite the customers' happiness, he didn't have a great night. His brother, who was also in the food business, is dead (which I think adds onto Carmy's desire to be successful). Keep all that in mind. Carmy gave Claire the wrong number because he (in my opinion) didn't think he could juggle his commitment to the restaurant with a romantic commitment...& he doesn't think he deserves to be loved/happy (which he admitted in the fridge). If he doesn't end up with Syd by the end of S2, I think the writers will let him be with Claire because nothing he said was actually blaming her for anything. Depressed people love blaming ourselves.

Anyway, kudos to the writers of the show & to Jeremy Allen White.

#tw: mental illness #mental illness tw #tw: mental health #mental health tw #admin #the bear season 2 #carmy berzatto #jeremy allen white #hot take

[mooniemp3]

Idk but I'm kinda surprised that people don't think Hank Pym is also autistic. I mean- It's so obvious ??? and it makes so much sense.

(Note that I'm autistic myself and I was thinking this bc I relate SO much to him and all of the things that I relate about him are actually some of my autistic traits and experiences being undiagnosed until I was 21)

He is always described and portrayed as someone who has a a lot of social difficulties, who has trouble socializing since he can remember; he's literally "socially awkward". He has problems understanding others in a lot of aspects (ex. differences in communication), and others have more problems trying to understand him. Also he don't understand neurotypical social rules and don't pick up social cues, body language, etc. Yeah, he try a lot bc he wants friends but he has a different way of approaching and people find him "weird", he can be "too intense" or "too distant and cold". Also he always felt different, he always felt he functions different and that he had to work harder than others. Damn, a lot of his character story is about him forcing himself to be like neurotypicals and then having the worst burnout of his whole life.

He hyperfocus A LOT and has special interest that sometimes are too specific. He also had difficulties with executive functions before he had his first depressive and manic episode.

He had a different way of expressing his emotions and even had problems identifying them. Something that gave him a lot of troubles, he always ends having a meltdown bc he couldn't identify how is he feeling before. This also applies to him expressing how he felt about others.

Despite him being so disorganized, he still had problems with changes and unexpected things. Yeah, he changed his hero identity a lot but that was him trying to cope with his difficulties and with his internalized ableism thinking he need to be like others (it was just him masking, and that's why he had identity problems also) And with every change, he just felt so much worse. That's why he just had a horrible mental breakdown when he wasn't going to be an avenger anymore. And also he had a really hard time adapting to new things, he needs more time to do it. Plus, he can't handle things not going how he planned, he feels overwhelmed, he had low tolerance to frustration bc of that and its part of what makes him a perfectionist and fucks up his self-esteem.

And a lot of people always treated him as he was "too inmature" bc of how he is. Like yeah, they always say he is intelligent, a genius but at the same time that he is too complicated, too childish, etc. And that's bc of his way of socializing, the way he is about his special interest (how excited he gets when he talks about them, how he hyperfocus a lot), his problems organizing things, his meltdowns, him being too blunt, him being too emotional, etc.

Idk, he's my favorite comic character and one of my favorites in general. And he is highly misunderstood. Comic book fans and comics itself tend to be so ableist towards him. Not only for him being bipolar, but also for things autistic people tend to be mistreated.

#hank pym #ant man #yellowjacket #giant man #marvel #marvel comics #headcanon btw #actually autistic #autistic

[menalez]

am a straight woman (and not asexual or anything) but i ''fear'' intimacy deeply(am very paranoid+a perfectionist too due to a number of reasons), i never feel safe/comfy with the idea of emotionally or sexually tying myself to a man. i also don't wanna put in all the effort i KNOW i'll have to put to please said man. and i don't feel like anything is missing in my life either, i'm fine by myself. but socially i do feel a bit like a freak especially seeing my gfs live with their bfs. any advice?

i can somewhat get u, idk if this applies to u but ive come across several cases of het women who never dated men or had sex w them and dont want to. a lot of it is rooted in fear and also like the importance placed on virginity too. im sure theres many other women who have similar reasons to you. i dont think theres anything wrong with being a perfectionist, i think a perfectionist in dating but being happy being alone is a great thing to be and its an ideal we should strive for bc imo thats healthier than the way many women are, which is feeling terrible when single, not loving ourselves, wanting to be in a relationship constantly, low standards, etc. i do think the paranoia isn't great tho. what exactly are you paranoid about? can you point to where this paranoia comes from, or why you have it?

tbh i would encourage you to find women that are similar to you. women who are celibate bc they want to be, women who arent dating men for whatever reason, etc and surround yourself w such women. the world places so much emphasis on women "settling down", finding a man, getting married. its normal to feel like youre a "freak" for going against such expectations. its also very common to feel better about yourself once you meet women who are similar, who dont need nor want a man for whatever reason, and who are thriving regardless. they DEFINITELY exist, i know it. the only thing idk is how to find such women in whichever part of the world you are. i know its easier to in a lot of east asia and some other parts of the world, but pretty hard to find in a lot of africa & south+central+west asia + the west too probably

[medievalcellphone]

virgo sun & moon, cap rising <3 ☆

if you have mostly positive aspects and houses this a great three for actually getting things done and going after what you want in life and what brings you a genuine sense of emotional contentment. capricorn risings are hard for me to understand bc its such a learn by knowing placement. and i don't know any closely. slow to warm up types, maybe a little reserved but not at all rude. very the suite of pentacles. your material safety is so so so important to your overall well being. this is also maybe a bit virgo-y, but you might be overly concerned about being perceived as odd or doing things wrong professionally and/or just in a greater societal context. even if that great societal perception is within a subculture or specific community. or maybe you are the literal opposite of this. either way you portray yourself with focused intention. combined with your sun sign, ur realllllyy out here projecting an air of confidence and self control. u might not feel like ur pulling it off but. you are.. almost always. idk u but. you want to be seen as someone who can deal with "it." and u can.

presumably you are one of the most loyal, loving friends anyone can have, someone that others can count on, the type to be actually helpful in solving problems in addition to being a good listener. you want to understand others and learn from them, but you might have little to no patience for people that act in a way you can't make sense of. like maybe people that keep getting themselves stuck in the same bad patterns. its important to remember for all you know ur doing the same thing. i think virgos are incredibly astute at seeing when someone else is acting badly/hurting themselves and others, but sometimes forget they can be doing the same thing, just in a different way. i have no way of knowing this and am v probably wrong. but i bet you are soooo good at cooking or baking. something domestically charming. connecting with others over shared interests is hugely fulfilling to your life, you are the type to end up hours deep in a sprawling conversation without noticing time ever passed. like, i'm sure wherever you dwell is beautifully decorated and tailored to your personality. i would guess u are tidy because like every virgo moon i've met is but even if ur naturally messy, its like, the whole ~don't touch my pen its on the floor i meant it to be there~ thing.

ahhhh virgo moons. you are prone to anxiety, you really like to be in control, quite possibly very perfectionist.. that is just how it is. you're verrryyyyy curious, intelligent, creative and specifically artistic, deeply self aware. when upset, or extra stressed you might have trouble being able to articulate yourself or open up right away. it's vitally important to your sense of emotional well being that you have enough time to process emotions without having to be seen or like, perceived by others.

you cant help but fall into the things that interest you, you want to know and figure out every detail and aspect. this includes people. i assume you are very gentle, caring, will go the extra mile for your friends and loved ones... you would probably be happiest in a relationship where you know the other person is 100% able to be counted on. not to like start giving ppl romantic advice. its just my sense.

i feel like virgos see things coming from a mile away. psychics of the earth sign trio. there is a need to do things correctly. it is important 4 u to learn that people are allowed to do things in a way you don't understand.. when upset you might be a little too critical of others. that being said, this can also invert and do a little bit of a martyr act. you tend to endure things you don't have to. like go take that advil theres no need to have a headache even if its not that bad. take that statement literally or metaphorically. never quite satisfied with yourself and others. i said this already.. virgo moons, virgos in general, there is this underlying anxiety that makes it hard to believe things are going to be okay, that you can relax, that others love you unconditionally. but. u can. and people do.

my favorite book on astrology ever calls virgos 'the discriminators', and i really agree with that definition. curatorial.

a movie rec, and another

#virgo MOONS #hehhaha

[snndri]

TO BE ADDED:

James (next avengers)

Mahiru (servamp)

I'm also thinking of making an OC multimuse. If youre interested the ocs i have in mind are:

wolfgang: trans male. has a talking book that revives him on death. he hunts cryptids to refill the book, as it takes a page from the encyclopedia to revive him. hes spunky and cynical. no thoughts abt self preservation bc of his revival powers. grandpa owns a mothman museum. he'll have a highschool main verse. and a adult verse where he takes over the museum while his gpa retires.

wader: a magical boy oc. highschool age. he still needs to be fleshed out (wader is the last name idk his first name yet). hes the red magical boy with a scarlet ibis bird theme. hes a perfectionist, social buterfly, and people pleaser. if he cant do something the first time, he tries to give up on it immediately and lacks motivation to try harder.

amila: she was originally a chick of a prophet bird who could tell the future with song. however they are human-shunning species. when a wizard picked her up as a chick, such and such happened. he had trouble tdlr with a chick. so he passed a spell to give her a human body. her sight gets worse, and she has to absorb blood to keep it. as a result, she mainly goes around blind since its hard to be like "hey blood pls".

mahiyu(?): i think i spelt her name wrong lol. but shes a rich lady lesbian. suffocated, she befriended a girl she fell in love with and kept sneaking out. it wasnt a good relationship tbh lol but even now broke up with, she convinced her parents she need a new area to forget abt her. so she got her apartment far away and doing college and stuff. she's kinda pervy tbh and switches between being very prim to not lol. social bug but... very redirecting when it comes to promises and talking abt herself. even if its like "hey lets get lunch later" shell just change the subject lol

Amber: a clairvoyant. she was a mean girl who made fun and bullied a bunch of people with her friends. she actually got a taste of clairvoyance of a victim. got very embarrassed by her actions and moves away lol. shes in college now pretending everythings ok. got her pet dog. tries to stop herself when she makes a demeaning joke

#octo is insensitive 2k23 #delete later

[magicalgirlpropaganda]

2 sketchbook assignments (which are never good enough for the professor, which is understandable, but she isnt clear enough on how to improve and im already busy)

1 project that i only have one class period to finish (which is abt 3 hrs. Usually takes 9 hrs or more to finish)

Im going to fucking lose it

So im gonna start working early. I like drawing, quite a bit rlly, but i need time

Like i know i can do better but i dont have the time to.

I just. I know my work isnt as good as everyone elses. I consider myself the worst in my class, which i dont exactly take personally since I'm just trying to get a degree and i like my style, but i am just so frustrated. Everyone else's stuff is just better. And i know i can improve but i don't know how other than practice. I get criticism but its very vague and nonspecific.

I don't take the professor's criticism personally because shes known for being a perfectionist and pretty much everyone doesn't like her (shes a nice person but a perfectionist and assigns a ton of work in a short period of time) and i don't tend to take criticism harshly because im here to learn and improve but god. It's so frusterating that everyone else is better than me and i don't know why.

All i want is for my classes to teach more. Like practice is extremely important but I'd appreciate if we got more advice on how to improve. The professor i had last semester did that and i improved tons (i miss him so much. I still see him around but his class was genuinely fun for me).

Idk. Im just frustrated bcs of assignments. I am 100% willing to work hard but I need some sort of direction

[ukulelewrap]

Any from either :)) i just like autism hcs

UHH OK!!!!

I'll do ganyu and book bc...I need...

Ganyu:

•SHE LOVES TO HYPERFIXATE ON CUTE ANIMALZ!!!! like she loves animals sm oh my god hand her a kitten and she'll fucking melt

•autism was the whole reason for her misunderstandings with co workers, like how she thought she was replaced after she left liyue for a while, she just doesn't understand how her work can be so hard for others

•ganyu finds eye contact hard, even if she was raised by adeptus and is one herself she just can't bring it to look people in the eyes

•REALLY sensitive about her horns (which is basically canon at this point but), she can be seen often fidgeting with them nervously

•stimming 24/7, like literally its amazing how much she can stim

•she's really sensitive to the loud noises in liyue harbor, it scares her somewhat

•she really doesn't get why xiao pushes her so much to not be so passive as an adeptus, social communication is already hard as is for her

----

Book:

•book doesn't get how her anger can really hurt people, and she doesn't get why some don't forgive her

•she really likes to read and look into things!! she got hyperfixated on science for a while

•shes weirdly specfic about books tho,, like she outright REFUSES to read some books and she herself has no idea why

•stimming isn't as common for her but when it does happen she goes crazy with it :]

•book and social communication...don't match, after the whole alliance situation she started isolating herself a lot more which made her communication skills worse than they were, often causing her to get more emotionally, especially with anger

•DEFO SHARES HER HYPERFIXATIOBS WITH ICY!!!!!!!!!

•gets hyperfixations often on things she's not good at and since she has anger issues and is a perfectionist...lord save her

(I hope these are ok!!!! ^_^ I'm sorry if I did bad or was offensive!! Pls lmk anything I can change!!)

[lovenona]

me, waking up: oh another day. then, after reading your answer: HOLY SHIT. guess i'm now the loving ramble enabler (LRE?). and DO NOT apologize for being passionate about smt that makes you happy you lovely human being that u are! hearing you ramble (how many times will i use this word idek) about the creation process made my day dammit! and i can assure you, reading about it is as good as reading the masterpiece itself, especially considering how good you are at manifesting the vibes (tm) (pt1)

(pt 2 bc word count sucks) how did you first get interested in pirate history? (if you don't mind me asking ofc) *slides 15 bucks* please, be my guest. do tell us more about the writing/revision process. sincerely, a genuinely interested person currently wondering why the fuck tumblr won't let her do a paragraph break. have a lovely night/day!

bestie ur rly enabling me 😭 ur so sweet skSJKAJSk i will tell u so much under this god damn cut 

first because this is the easy response: how did u get interested in pirate history????

short answer: keira knightley in pirates of the caribbean BYE 💀

long answer: it’s basically a mix of those movies being a centerpiece of my childhood and me just thinking pirates are cool SKJSKAj i’m very much into history n my uni had a course on ‘history of pirates’ last spring so i took it as smth to do during quarantine and i ended up really loving it !!! i’m actually workin on historical fiction short story abt anne bonny and mary read rn which required me to do a lot more research on pirates (under the black flag by david cordingly is a very good book on piracy!) and my research has been very interesting just in general and for writing the odyssey – i've incorporated little historical tidbits here n there to add to the world-building :’)

next: ur writing process

ok so let’s go cray besties i’m going to tell u abt the life of adele writing the odyssey!!!! i’ll try talking abt this in some semblance of a logical step-by-step

1. manifesting vibes + outline

i talked abt this last time but manifesting the vibes is very important ! the first things i like to do when getting ready to write a new chapter is define the setting – place(s), weather, time, and general mood 

while i have a pretty good idea of how many chapters it will be and where the odyssey ends, i usually don’t plan a chapter in super great detail until it’s time to sit down n write it. i have general points of people to include + things that would be important to the plot + vibes i hope to include (parts 6 and 7 r gonna SLAP!!), but these never get fleshed out until it’s Time. my outlines are therefore usually not very detailed because i like to give the odyssey room to do its own thing – i find it important that the story takes its time and we get to the important stuff whenever it wants us to. an outline will usually b something like, in the case of the furies call part 2: 

find megumi, talk abt his role in the zenin clan – naoya arrives on shore and shit hits the fan – run to find mai, maki fights her father – fight between naoya and todou – todou dies because you can’t kill naoya – sukuna rescues reader and it ends

after i have smth that looks like this as well as a decently clear idea of how everything will look and feel we get started!!

2. writing (pain)

arguably the worst stage for any creator! writing! at this point i genuinely just let go and let god tbh. i have no idea how i do things at this stage other than see how many commas + dumb poetic phrases i can include SKKSJKA – sometimes things just happen and it’s really cool!! for example in part 4 i didn’t know the guns warehouse was going to blow up until i was writing it and it just happened 

i do have a set quota of words i meet every time i sit down to write so that i A. feel accomplished and happy when i'm done, even if it sucks and B. don’t get burnout and start hating what i do. this stage is always difficult because writing is just hard and takes a lot of brainpower and self-discipline </3

i wld say the hardest part is that i run the risk of getting very overwhelmed – by the complexities of the plot, by how fucking long it takes me to write, by how much work writing itself is ! for example, abt 7k or so into part 5 i started having the worst existential dread when i realized that this chapter was not even halfway done and i wld have to surpass 15k before it was (at the time of writing this, part 5 is 16.3 💀) it just gets hard sometimes to overcome that and maintain the motivation to keep going and know that everything will be fine when it’s done – thankfully everyone here is so patient and sweet so it makes me feel better when i'm taking forever and/or need time off <333

basically, as always, the pain of writing is just having to write and come to terms with the fact no one else is going to manifest it for u. and have fun too!! writing is only fun when ur writing what u think is cool 

3. revision (less pain)

one of the fun stages, but also the point when i start to become impatient! writing an odyssey chapter can easily take 2.5-3 weeks even if i'm writing my quota every single day (part 5 took roughly 3 weeks of writing every god damn afternoon) and after that i spend another few weeks just going back and rereading/fixing everything. 

i basically start by rereading sections of the chapter to change sentence structure, grammar, dialogue, or whatever else i don’t like – sometimes sentences sound stupid or certain things don’t make a whole lot of sense so i like to go back and polish up! for example i changed the arrival of maki/mai/nobara in furies call part 1 about ten times before i decided it made sense to me

this step can be horrendous because i'll often write things really shitty in the first draft with a “i’ll come back to this later” mindset and then get mad at myself later for being a hoe <//3

in essence, i'm a horrible perfectionist so i will usually reread everything and change or add things multiple times before i think i'm finally ready to share. most of the time, as the chapter gets closer and closer to completion i become more and more hyper-fixated on it – i’ll start spending almost all of my free time just rereading and looking for minor fixes or places that don’t vibe as well. 

at the end of this step, my favorite thing to do before i queue the chapter up to post is sit down and just read the entire thing once or twice and give it one last kiss before i send her off into the world <3

so anyway there’s my ted talk of how i usually make the odyssey ! i vibe, write, revise n take forever to do all three steps but that’s just part of the fun! thank u for tuning in if u have any other questions u wld like me to overshare on i am more than happy to talk abt it :’)

#this was fun to ramble abt thank u so much LRE #I really enjoyed it #thank u!!!! #letters to adele #the odyssey!

[tartagliaxx]

honestly, this is totally my fault but my exams are due in one week and i haven't studied for anything yet :DD i just do not wanna graduate this year bc college = more procrastinating = more stress = more lectures = more disappointment

i've also sorta resorted to just completely flipping a person's normal sleep schedule for myself. i go to sleep around 5pm which is about when my classes end. i wake up around midnight, eat dinner and study again. i just don't sleep until the afternoon after classes are over and the cycle continues. it's surprisingly more efficient than i though it would be lol

wanna know what's better than me potentially failing all my subjects? i'm literally gonna be the only person in my class who's gonna attend physical class lol, my friends just said no lmao and ditched so i'm basically gonna be alone at school :)) and only the teacher :)))

i hate everything that's happening in my life rn, but i honestly hate myself more lmao. as always, remember to take care of yourself and make sure to drink lots of water!!

— r. anon

dang nonnie... there’s a lot to unpack here so let’s start slow. i understand not having the motivation to study. for me, not studying gives me an excuse to justify my failure bc not studying and failing is better than studying and still failing. granted in our school, most subjects do performance based exams rather than written ones. when it comes to math though, please. leave me be. in my experience, college seems daunting at first but over time, you get used to it. it’s important to remember that you go at your own pace and that failure is inevitable. celebrate your success and accept your failure but never take it to heart. i think that at the end of the day, what’s important is not a bunch of scores or some people’s opinion about you and your studies but how content you are w yourself and your progress. as long as you’re making a strive to be better and to learn, even if its just a centimeter at a time, thats ok and thats great. i learned that the hard way when i burnt myself out. curses for my high standard perfectionist side.

the fact that you’re getting some sleep now is great progress. dont conform to normality (unless its health related then please do). i heard that if you cant move past your problems then you should just walk around it and this seems like a perfect example for that. not a medical pro so idk if this is healthy or not so...

im dumb so i dont know if thats sarcasm or not but! that sounds terrifying. honestly i miss being back at school bc i think its easier but! only if i have classmates to cover my back. oh god just thinking about that gives my social anxiety a party. im so sorry nonnie. my introvert ass feels for your pain.

honestly this week is just... wack. i hate it. i won’t go into detail bc i could literally write a 10 paged essay talking about how shit this week was. in any case, i understand hating the present. im so sorry you had to go through this mess. however, please dont hate yourself for the unforeseeable circumstances that wormed its way in your life. it’s absolutely normal to feel unmotivated or feel like you’re not good enough given this society’s unhealthy weight on the people but you must pull yourself back up. always remember that everyone has worth. all that aside, even if you hate yourself rn, i and a lot of others still love you and we hope you’ll feel better soon!

take care of yourself too nonnie! take breaks, you’ll need it for a healthy mind and body.

#lei.answers #withlove.r

[thatpiscesfish]

ohhh... I'd love if you could describe my placements too. 👉👈 I'm new into astrology so I'm taking every commentary of ppl I trust into consideration so I can learn about myself first and then learn about another placements out of my chart, u know. so: virgo sun/moon/mercury/venus/chiron, gemini rising, libra mars, pisces saturn, capri uranus/neptune, scorpio pluto n gemini lilith... 😀 ofc I'm not asking for smth very detailed bc that's not fair w u but u know general thoughts maybe? ❤

Yeah sure. I’m definitely not an expert in astrology but it’s something that’s been around me ever since childhood, so I’ve always been fascinated by it. But I definitely think it’s great for recognising certain traits within you and improving yourself accordingly. It’s a great guide but it shouldn’t be followed 100%, you’re still your own person.

Virgo suns are so helpful and the type to do it because they care not because they expect anything in return. Very sacrificial and adaptable. They can overthink and criticise (especially themselves) but usually do so because they want to improve everyone around them and know they can do better. It’s an introverted and feminine placement. Usually very elegant and well-spoken (mercury).

Having it in moon just means that you have these traits but on a deeper/emotional level. You seek comfort by retreating into your mind to process your emotions. You crave stability and practicality and you can be a bit of a perfectionist.

Having it in mercury is its natural placement. You are greatly influenced by others opinions and try to analyse them in your head. Good at talking to people and being charming. But only when you feel comfortable enough to let that side show. Virgos can be shy a lot of the time, especially when they’re younger. This can be due to low self-esteem that they develop as they grow.

Having it in venus gives them an elegant and ethereal image (sister sign being Pisces). They are prepared to sacrifice a lot for a relationship and offer security, reassurance, and help in any kind of way. They can be taken advantage of because of this and it’s common for them to stick with their partner because it’s hard to let go. Virgos are smart and practical but they’re also one of the most emotional signs. When they invest in something, it’s tough to let it go.

Chiron in Virgo could mean that there are issues with daily health, but nothing serious - just repetitive. Or that it’s common to become overly critical and perfecting things in order to deal with the unpredictability of daily life. It would be good to volunteer and turn these traits into helpful ones for people who need it.

Gemini rising is even more mercury energy. This is the first impression you give people. Probably come off as a bit more extroverted than you actually are.

Libra mars is in the opposite sign. So anger is hard to come by and you may be passive aggressive instead. Very strategic and smart and definitely don’t make impulsive decisions. In fact, it might be hard for you to make decisions at all.

Saturn is there to help you find balance and order in your life. In Pisces, it teaches you that you should only give as much as others give you and to value yourself and put yourself first sometimes.

Capricorn uranus is interesting as uranus is about rebellion and Capricorn is about discipline. But this placement is good for overthrowing the status quo and making change.

Capricorn neptune means that you have a desire to reach spiritual growth and have the ability to work towards that.

Scorpio pluto is the natural placement and means that you transform yourself by tapping into your sexuality and curiosity for taboo subjects.

Gemini lilith are all about change through communication. You have a deep desire to learn and to teach others.

#ask #ddalgimin #placements #astrology #virgo sun #virgo moon #virgo mercury #virgo venus #virgo chiron #gemini rising #libra mars #pisces saturn #capricorn uranus #capricorn neptune #scorpio pluto #gemini lilith #my post