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effervescentdragon · 2 years

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The History of Sebchal by A Very Delusional F1 Girlie, An Essay

for @dm3rv <3 hope you like it friend!

(i will never, ever ever ever be over this picture. bahrain 2019 you are the bane of my existence and the reason i’m obsessed with them. the fuck kinda destined mythological bullshit-)

Hello I am sad and unhinged and I will make it everyone’s problem. This is an essay on Sebchal, or Cheb, and it’s very specific, very tailored, very well researched (some would say this is unhinged behaviour and ykw they would be one hundred percent right), very projections, and very much a self-indulgence and a brain dump because sadly most of these facts were already in my brain. Proceed on your own risk! Mwah! 😘

The Beginning

Now this is a tricky one. I’m pretty sure Charles knew who Seb was since, you know. Sebastian is a FOUR-TIMES WORLD CHAMPION, and Jules was in single seaters headed for F1 or there already (Jules started in 2013), and Charles was in karting, but I don’t think he’s ever spoken about if Seb was his idol, someone who did a deep dive into Charles correct me if I’m wrong. (I won’t go into the tragedies in Charles’ life, that’s not the point and that has been chewed on and regurgitated a million times, so sadly it is all accessible and on fucking tape.)

Imma put it somewhere around 2015 - 2016. We have this picture from Charles’ insta (which I absolutely did not already have saved in my phone), and Charles was in the FDA at the time, so they met then, but I don’t think there is any in-depth records of it. Look at baby!Charl being excited about Seb. :))))

I will point out though that Charles’ first single seater victory was in Monza in 2016, and Seb’s first F1 victory was Monza 2008. It’s all about the parallels here, you see. There is so much place to draw connections if you have imagination, and me personally, I have a lot of it, plus I’m a sucker for interconnected destinies. So then we have Seb and Kimi in Ferrari 2015-2018, While Charles was, okay let me see if I can type this out from my head - he had financial issues, Jules and Todt helped, he won GP3 in 2016, F2 in 2017, came to Sauber in 2018. If you want happiness, please watch the 2017 Bahrain sprint race, it’s legit my happy place and a Leclerc driving masterclass.

One absolutely lovely moment in life is this - Sebastian’s win in Monaco 2017, and Charles looking at him with fucking heart eyes up on the podium. The relevant part of the video is on timestamp 1:43 :) it makes me wanna scream ngl. Look at him. So happy, despite, if I rmbr correctly, DNFing in both sprint and regular race that weekend. Monaco, please love him back. Please.

The Süß and the Sauber

(that is such a cool pun i am such a genius sometimes)

OKAY. SO. Charles signs with Ferraris bastard lovechild in 2018, Seb and Kimi are in Ferrari. Much more interaction only on behalf of that. Charles’ whole rookie F1 season is very nicely explained here, and Ferrari decides to sign him for 2019. Now, there was a LOT of fuckery in Ferrari. (I have to admit I haven’t done a deep dive in it all, so if someone has, please link me.) Internal fighting, clownery, all of it. Honestly, I don’t feel like going into it bcs imma just scream tbh, I already hate motorsports doc ock aka mattia binotto, but lets just call Ferrari clowns and stay at that. Ferrari announces they are replacing Kimi Raikkonen, pulling Charles up from Sauber and sending Kimi to his place. Kimi’s being Kimi, like whatever, I like racing so I race (that press conference where they ask him about it murders me every time I love that dude imma have to start watching nascar for him ewwww but i cant find the video for some reason :( ), but Seb. Oh wow. Seb. Bear with me here, I know what I’m talking about.

You see, the thing that people like to forget now that Seb is in his white-girl-activist save-the-bees-stand-up-for-human-rights era (we stan ngl he does more than 99% of the grid, the 1% is SIR Lewis Hamilton but that’s not the point thats another essay, on who has the privilege of being an activist) is that Sebastian Vettel is a petty bitch. Sebastian Vettel is a fucking demon on track and off track, and people get fooled by his dad attire and him genuinely evolving to become a better person. HOWEVER. First of all, all that dude ever anted was to drive for Ferrari, like Michael did, and then he did, and it all went to shit. Secondly, Ferrari has gag-orders, nobody can convince me otherwise, because the moment he was free of them he actually started speaking out publicly on certain issues, before that it was all no comment and whatever- (Before that, he was a twenty-sth-yo WDC in Red Bull, so basically wilfully ignorant). Watch any video of Seb in Ferrari pre-2019 and you’ll see what I mean. He is mean, he is petty, he doesn’t like to lose, and he especially doesn’t like to lose in Ferrari. Kimi and him were friends, and Kimi is a laid-back dude, and I think that’s why they managed to not damage their friendship when Seb was obviously delegated as first driver. And even then, just look at Baku 2017, Germany 2018, to name some examples. In the end Kimi was like “you do you, kid, I’m good” so he didn’t put up much of a fight, but like. Sebastian Vettel wasn’t there to be shafted, and honestly, good for him. Too bad that it took people till this season and the whole Charles&Carlos fuckery to finally admit that the problem wasn’t really Vettel, it was always, and always will be, Ferrari.

But I digress, as I am wont to do when it comes to my beloved German war criminal. Basically, we have the Monaco 2018 press conference where Charles develops his praise kink to a new height when Seb says “If he shouldn’t be praised, then I don’t know who should”, watch that, it’s fucking adorable. Charles is all like, I am so grateful I am so happy I will take whatever, bla bla bla. The guy was always a masochist, there was no Ferrari brainwashing he just fucking likes it when it hurts. However, when Charles was announced, Vettel basically said “there shouldn’t be any rush bcs Charles is young and he has time ahead of him, but it’s not up to me”. Now see, this is coming from a man who still holds the record for fastest penalty in F1, speeding in the pitlane fucking six seconds from the moment he fucking debuted. The man who made Rocky tear out his hair regularly for going for the fastest laps when they weren’t even bringing any points, just to prove he can (MOnaco 2013 my BELOVED). Now, is it a sign of some maturity, or of him realizing Charles won’t be okay with sticking to being a second driver because Seb recognizes so much of himself in Charles? Is he battling with himself, with the world, with the attraction, with perceptions? What is happening in Sebastian’s head? We may never know; we may, however, write fics about it. Also this video of when the announcement happened is kinda good from what I rmbr.

And here is my favorite moment: Charles took a picture of Seb duringwinter testing in 2019, and someone took a picture of that. Sebastian got the picture, wrote down “To Charles, sorry I didn’t see you mate” and gave it to Charles. The fuck kinda inception I See You I Feel You bullshit-

The development of the OTP aka Red Is The Colour of Love And Blood Both

Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Okay so. I haven’t gone into details with this completely, because there is just so fucking much. I will probably be insane at some point and go rewatch the whole season but imma give you highlights here because this is just. Fucking insane.

That picture I posted up there that Imma post again from a different angle because it’s seminal? SECOND RACE OF THE SEASON. This radio. GODFUCK.

Anyways what we have in the 2019 season is like. Fucking insane. This post outlines it a bit, and like. We get everything. The cordiality. The heart-eyes from Charles. Seb’s frustration. Both of their frustrations in Ferrari. Shared trauma of being a Ferrari driver as a narrative force. The team orders. The smashing into each other. Watch the challenges, watch the videos, it’s like. Idek it’s just insane. Charles said once that Seb would let him win stuff, because Charles is the definition of an unreliable narrator, but Seb would smoke him and Charles would come back and be like “okay senpai, please, more? 🥺️“ And Seb was frustrated, my god was he frustrated.

If you take Monza, for example. Charles won there, but you can see how much everyone is bearing down on Seb and how many mistakes he makes and how the frustration just bleeds into his driving. Ngl, when I watched that I was honestly relieved when he fell so far behind because the fucking commentators were soo gleefully happy that he wasn’t performing well that I wanted to scream. Charles drove so well in 2019, he really did. But like. Ferrari. I mean, look at Sochi and this fuckery, and then look at Brasil and oh my fucking god. Like. They had no chance. No chance at all. And imagine the frustrations, imagine the feel of a car thats shitty and then having your teammate be nice one moment then crash into you the next. Imagine looking up to someone and then crashing into them, or having someone look up to you and then crashing into you. Idek where to start with them like every race in 2019 was pain one way or another. It’s like you’re fighting the world with someone, but you’re also fighting that someone. It’s chaotic, it’s angsty, it has so much hatefuck-but-not-really, it’s EVERYTHING. There are videos all over, whatever you google, that show much better what was happening than any fucking explaining I could do here. Look at this. Charles is panting for it and Seb is so fucking pissed off but can’t help but fucking INDULGE HIM. My GOD. THE FUCK IS THIS. ARE YOU SERIOUS.

AND THIS. THIS IS THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. THIS WHOLE CHALLENGE IS DIRECTLY A CASTING COUCH. IT’S PORN. SECHS MY ASS SEB HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU HAVE TO SAY IT HUH. HOW MANY TIMES. DU HAST SCHÖNE AUGEN, YEAH, YOU’D KNOW, YOU KEEP FUCKING STARING INTO THEM. AND CHARLES, CLOSE YOUR FUCKING LEGS.

(also it’s very good to know Charles gets off on being degraded, relatable and valid)

Anyways, we finish the 2019 season with Charles 4th. Seb 5th. Fuckery. Absolute fuckery. And it gets worse.

The Break-Up or Ferrari Should Burn

OKay so this one hurts like fuck? Fuck I need to take a break.

Okay. So. Charles signed til 2024, Seb gets the pink slip or whatever it’s called in the working world. No seat for 2021, Ferrari are being bitches, Covid all around, DTS is filming it all live-time, and Seb is fucking pissed. Here come my favorite moments in life, actually, and again I reiterate, people tend to forget that Sebastian Vettel is a petty king. :)

So, all you need to know is contained in DTS, namely s2Ep7 Seeing Red, and S3Ep4 We Need To Talk About Ferrari, which are interestingly the only two episodes I have downloaded on my computer and the only two episodes worth watching (except that one about Mick in Haas in s4 I think, that is fucking brilliant). Now, I despise DTS, but I will give them prompts for gifting us with absolute loveliness that was Sebchal lovers-break-up-due-to-external-forces narrative arc. Like literally, if you don’t watch anything else, watch these two episodes. PEAK DRAMA. PEAK ENTERTAINMENT. PEAK FEELINGS. Imma give some of my fave moments:

- Seeing Red opens with Seb bearing down on Charles for his shitty “Senorita” music taste in reference to this, and Charles goes “I’m born in ‘97″ and Seb just smiles teacher-student age gap vibes anyone Also Charles desperately trying to find a way to connect to Seb around music, basically the two of them being that video of a lil kitten jumping at the big cat and the cat like pushing it down with its paw but being v amused;

- Sebastian saying “In the end, it’s all about winning. Competeing against the best, it’s one thing. Trying to do that with Ferrari; it’s another one.” like yes king throw shade;

- the “we’ll start by holding hands”. fucking. i can’t- this is- gaaarhhhhh. THE WHOLE FUCKING THING IS INSANE. Silvia comes in with “bla bla bad media your rship, we know you love each other so just tell the world” and “you can occasionally kiss” and Charles goes “no i will not go that far” because if you’re not kissing then there’s no feelings it’s just fucking and Seb probs told him that and Sebastian goes “We’ll start by holding hands” and I am posting the video go look at it like i do, twice a day morning and night because PEAK EDITING and like. FUCK I CANNOT BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS!!!

LOOK AT THIS SEQUENCE!!! LOOK!! FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!!!!!

i need. a moment. okay. i took coffee, i took water, i cried a bit, im fine. lets go onwards.

- WNTTAF is just. Angst fucking galore. Idek how to explain it you have to watch it, Seb is so pissed off and now that he doesn’t have to obey Ferrari since he’s out by the end of the year, he fucking goes ALL OUT. PUSSY OUT DONT GIVE A FUCK, whatcha gonna do, fire me style. i adore it. im in love with him. id give him babies now.

- Charles wanted to have his clothing line, and he was real excited abt it (tho I am so doubtful about his taste my god) and then it all died down. Why? We find out when Seb goes full bastard on main and says “oh yeah I will tell you idgaf I don’t have a contract for next year, he was forbidden, Ferrari have a sponsor *points to Puma mark by grabbing Charles’ shirt and touching him all over* so he can’t” and Charles dies underneath his mask;

- my absolute utter FAVORITE PETTY MOMENT where Sebastian Vettel lets speculations circle about his future and the announces that he’s signing for Aston Martin on the eve of Ferrari’s 1000th race celebrations 😏 like YES, THAT IS MY PETTY WELTMEISTER! THAT IS THE GUY WHO DID MULTI 21. THAT’S SEBASTIAN VETTEL AT HIS CORE. this gets adressed in the episode and Britta is the only one w rights btw, where Silvia is like “oh we know you didn’t mean it like that 🙂” and Seb is like “ofc not I had no input when the announcement was going to drop 🙂 “ and Charles was like “🤭” under the mask. also featuring Charles’ absolute atrocious acting “oh and beyond? gooud” bitch as if you didn’t know.

- the way Charles just said Ich Liebe Dich to Seb. Like. ON MAIN. and Ferrari thought to hide it ssince it’s at the very end but like. UNWELL. UNWELL.

now, everything else is googlable. i have been writing this for hours and i think i spent more time on this than i spent studying for the last exam i had. so imma wrap it up just a lil bit rushed, i guess. however, NOT WITHOUT GIVING YOU THE HELMET FUCKING EXCHANGE.

THEY EXCHANGED HELMETS AT THE END OF 2020. IT IS. EVERYTHING.

Charles went full middle-school-crush aka tumblr girlie with fucking web-weaving of all the moments the spent together, using, amongst others THE BAHRAIN PICTURE. Seb wrote this - “To Charles, you are the most talented driver I came across in 15 years of F1. Don’t waste it. But be sure whatever you do to be happy and smile. Thanks for everything!”

Like are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me, he raced with Hamilton, with Schumacher, with fucking - I CANT. INSANE. FUCKING INSANE. HOW AM I NOT TO MAKE THEM MY OTP?????????

The Aftermath of Bloodbath

Well. I mean. Fucking hell. Seb is retiring at the end of the year, and I am unwell over it. Charles is getting fucked over by Ferrari, as usual, and I am also unwell over it. Imma put some highlights here, and end it with a pretty picture, because boy I am exhausted.

- Charles always making sure people don’t forget about Seb;

- Seb calling Charles handsome and Charles short-circuiting;

- The comforts after Monaco;

- This fucking thing that makes me wanna scream;

- ALL THE FUCKING TOUCHING AND HUGGING;

- Charles being a dumbass; Charles being just like me and short-circuiting about the moustache; Charles yearning;

Idk guys, gals, and nb pals. I am unwell over them ngl. As you may have seen. If you go through my #sebchal tag, there should be more. Also #redredred reference. What I will say, for the end, and then post this absolute insanity, is that there is a destined quality to their narrative arcs, and there is so much potential there, and there are such parallels that I can’t breathe sometimes, and there is the imagery of the opposites but are they really, and the hurt of being a Ferrari driver, of the red being the color of greatest passion and greatest defeat, of blood and love entangled, of just. So much, and yet not enough, never enough, because as I once wrote somewhere, red gods never forgive nor do they forget, and fast boys with pretty eyes and grand destinies are narratively doomed from the start.

UGH. I AM SO PRETENTIOUS. ANYWAYS. PIC FOR THE END.

also they’re this song. akira out.

#akira goes insane #akira writes too long essays #i need a tag #sebastian vettel #charles leclerc #unhinged f1 content #sebchal #cheb #godfuckingdammit #full feral im full feral #OMFG THIS IS 3K #someone slap some sense into me #idek how to tag this

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